#but it is something I noticed and think is worth examination and discussion.

[problemnyatic]

just reblogged a post about how furry hate is cringe and now im thinkin. We all know that a huge element of furry hater culture is queerphobia and ableism and all that, but I posit this:

Furries practically embody the idea of unfettered self-expression.

The tide *seems* to be starting to turn these days, but there is a very widespread culture of insecurity, intertwined with this protective shell of irony that allows people to cautiously non-commit to self expression that could prove socially risky.

Furry fundamentally flies in the face of all of that.

You have neon dogs and fantasy creatures, entire made up species that exist solely to express someone's self, drawn at any level of skill and heartfelt besides. The creativity itself is valuable to the community, and the self-expression is celebrated wholeheartedly.

It's not a social death sentence to be weird as a furry, to be an outlier or to set yourself apart. Furries are infamous for being often very openly kinky, and it's true! You don't have to be kinky or even horny to be a furry by any means, but the furry fandom is notably a very sex positive space.

And I think that gets people uncomfortable. Not just the sex positivity, but the bright and loud lack of shame. When you're so used to needing to undercut yourself to fit in, seeing people let their freak flag fly high and proud is uncomfortable. That's a violation of the social contract. It hits a weird and sour note that spurrs them on to decry furries as cringe freaks.

I'm not saying all furry hate or every furry hater is just insecure, but I think that's a more significant element than tends to be factored in, especially in today's culture of callouts and overcautious hesitation to be "problematic" lest you get harassed for god knows how long.

[importantstudentbusinessspy-blog]

Dragon Blood

Chapter 5: Being a bastard is difficult as is. But claiming a dragon, training under Prince Jacaerys Velaryon, and navigating politics is a whole other ordeal.

Pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x Dragonseed (f) reader

Tags: jealousy, possessive Jace, angst, kissing, hickeys, appropriate use of 'dracqrys', more kissing,

TW: Some unwanted touching from a side character,

You had trained under Prince Jace for weeks, pushing yourself to the brink of exhaustion. Despite the bruises, the aching muscles, and the seemingly endless challenges of learning to ride and command your dragon, you remained dedicated.

Jace's approach was rigorous, often harsh, but you could sense the underlying intent to mold you into a warrior. You couldn’t deny the pride you felt when his rare words of praise slipped through the cracks of his otherwise stern demeanor.

"Well done," he assessed when you expertly dismounted your dragon, landing on your feet without losing your balance. Your heart would pick up its beat at the praise.

Every day was a battle to prove your worth, to show that you were deserving of the blood in your veins, of the dragon by your side, of Jace’s attention.

It wasn’t just the training itself; it was the way you listened intently to his every word, your eagerness to please him shining through in how you followed his instructions to the letter. Your dedication was unwavering, and though Jace remained distant, there were moments when his gaze lingered on you just a second too long or when his tone softened, if only for a moment, or he hid his laughter at your frustrated exclamations when something didn't word the way your wanted it to.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The sun was just beginning to hide over the horizon when you and Jace arrived at the stronghold of Lord Robin, a minor but strategically significant nobleman whose loyalty Rhaenyra needed. As you dismounted your dragon, without falling, you might add, you couldn't help but notice the way Lord Robin's eyes followed you with a gaze that made your skin crawl.

Inside the grand hall, the atmosphere was tense. Lord Robin welcomed you both along with your dragons with a patronizing smile that didn’t reach his eyes. The initial pleasantries were exchanged, but you could feel the bad intentions in his tone. As the discussion of terms began, Jace did most of the talking, his tone authoritative, yet measured. He was every bit the prince—commanding, confident, and resolute.

But then, Lord Robin’s smile twisted into something darker. “A fine offer, my prince,” he drawled, his eyes sliding over to you. “But there is one additional term I would request.” His voice lowered, taking on an ugly undertone. “This pretty dragon rider of yours… Quite a rare beauty. I would have her and the dragon join my household, if you will. It would be a small price for my unwavering loyalty and that of my army.”

His words struck you like a blow, and the room seemed to close in around you. The suggestive way his eyes roved over your body made bile rise in your throat. You instinctively moved closer to Jace.

Lord Robin continued, oblivious to the tension he’d created. “It’s a fair trade, is it not? After all, she’s of low birth. A bastard, I hear-"

You noticed Jace stiffen at the derogatory use of the word, his jaw clenching, his 3-day stubble becoming more prominent.

"-The queen need not be troubled by such an arrangement.”

The tension in the room was palpable as the lord's sinister smile widened, his eyes narrowing as he examined you, approaching you closer. "Prince Jacaerys," he began, his tone smooth and calculated. "My offer is simple. I will either join the greens, or you may leave this lovely girl here with me, and I'll join you."

You stiffened as the lord’s hand brushed against your arm, then lower, his touch lingering in a way that made your skin crawl.

But you had a moment to think, logically, if you were handed over to Robin, it would secure a tremendous alliance for Rhaenyra against the greens. As much as the thought disgusted you, you had decided you would do it for Jace. You would do your duty for the Targaryens.

As you contemplated, what you didn't see was the way Jace’s eyes darkened, his fury barely contained as he watched the lord's hand slide further down your body. "Get your hands off her," Jace growled, shocking both of you.

The lord chuckled, amused by the prince’s anger. "Surely, a prince like you has more important matters to—"

Before he could finish, Jace surged forward, shoving the lord away from you with a force that sent him sprawling to the floor. The room fell silent as the lord's smirk dropped from the humiliation.

But before he could react, Jace’s voice rang out, cold and deadly.

"Vermax, Dracarys!"

His dragon responded instantly, flames roaring from its jaws, engulfing the lord. His screams were brief, quickly silenced as the fire consumed him. The scent of charred flesh filled the air, a reminder of the swift and brutal justice meted out by the prince.

You stood frozen, your heart pounding in your chest. The heat of the flames still lingered in the air as you turned to Jace, trembling.

Jace didn’t spare the Lord another glance. His focus was entirely on you now. His hand, still tense from the confrontation, rested briefly on your arm, a grounding touch that sent a shiver down your spine. “We’re leaving,” he ordered, his tone brooking no argument.

You nodded, your heart still racing from the encounter.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Your flight back to Dragonstone was tense.

You grasped onto the saddle of your dragon tightly, occasionally glancing towards Jace, riding stoically, against the night wind as his gaze stayed focused on your destination.

When you landed in the dragon pit, rather unsusuccessfully you're embarrassed to say, nearly falling off your dragon from the impact, you looked to Jace for his reaction. Typically, he would give you advice or pointers regarding your technique. Tonight, silence. 

Jace jumped down from Vermax, landing flawlessly on his feet. “Follow me to the training grounds.” He commanded without looking at you and kept on his way. 

You were pulled out of your thoughts, blinking.  Training? At this hour? The entire castle would be asleep.

Regardless, you weren't one to argue with your prince, so you followed Suit, thanking your dragon for bringing you home safe and offering it a small piece of dried meat you had snuck into your gear. The dragon ate contently and followed Vermax to the Cave as you ran to keep up with Jace.

Entering the training grounds you were commanded once again. 

“Discard your riding coat.” 

He had already discarded his own, standing with two wooden staffs one held in each hand and in his loose undershirt, tucked into the waist of his breaches. The top of his was open, revealing the Hard muscle of his chest. 

Obediently, you unbuttoned your coat and removed it, leaving you in the corset you wore to Lord Robin's gathering. The cold air of the stone walls made the hairs on your arms stand up, but no more than his angry gaze.

You gulped, your breathing intensifying. He was angry. And not the usual anger where you felt he could forgive you but really angry. 

He tossed one of the wooden staffs to you, and you barely caught it. “Defend yourself.”

Your eyes widened, but before you could ask, advanced. You backed away from him. The alcohol from the party and your tiredness made your moves less than perfect. “Jace, wha-”

He trust the staff toward you, and you intercepted it with your own, barely having time to back away and add some distance between the two of you.

But Jace was faster- more experienced. In one move he'd knocked the staff out of your hands. 

“In all of our training, I seemed to have missed an important lesson,” he snarled, green eyes boring into yours. “How to defend yourself against disgusting old men who put their hands on you.”

He dropped his staff, grabbed your hands, and held them up above you against the rough wall of the training room. “Break free.”

You were panting, trying to catch your breath.

“That wretch touched you. And you let him.” He snarled.

“Yes I did! So should you have, Jacaerys!" You struggled against him. "You could have made a strategic trade off for your house."

His eyes narrowed in confusion at your words. "What?"

"I’m expendable." You elaborated. "You'd still have my dragon. Just not me. Why didn't you just take the deal—"

"Because you are mine." His eyes blazed with fury.

The words hung between you, heavy with meaning, before his lips crashed down on yours. The kiss was fierce, desperate, and needy. As his lips moved against yours, you felt the weight of everything—his possessiveness, his protectiveness. It was intoxicating, consuming you completely as you melted into him, your body responding to his with a fervor you hadn’t known you possessed. You thought about kissing him for many nights, about him embracing you like this. Finally.

When he finally pulled back, his breath ragged, his eyes bore into yours before dropping to your neck. He lowered his head until his lips touched the skin under your ear, biting you there, before licking the bite.

You gasped. "What are you-"

"Leaving my mark on you." He said. "If you're not going to fight them off. They might as well see you already belong to someone."

He kept sucking and biting your neck as you grew more and more sensitive. Your heart raced, body tensed up, but at the same time, you couldn't help but crave for more. You let out a gasp, unable to believe what was happening. The feeling was indescribable.

You tried to keep still, but your body started involuntarily moving along his touch, your back pressing harder onto the rough stone walls. He bit your neck a little harder, and you cried in pain and pleasure, your mind mixed in disarray. You dreamt about this. About belonging to him.

Jace pulled away to look at the red marks he'd left all over your neck. They would bruise by morning. He couldn't help but grin at the thought. Making his claim on you was only the beginning. He wanted the whole world to know that you belonged to him. Hesitated, he surveyed your face. Your eyes appeared dazed, pupils dilated, lips parted in a soft moan.

•••••••••••••••TBC•••••••••••••••

@alexa554

Tag list:

@burningwitchobject

@deltamoon666

@staarflowerr

@zizouu23

@alessiaparigim

@ericasabe

@jacaeryvardaddy

@dracaryxzs

@rav9n-16

@alwaysdaydreamingoffiction

@legolastheleafyelf

[bbernard-03]

Begin Again

˚｡ ❀ ˚｡The Beginning˚｡ ❀ ˚｡

Summary: The weight of it all finally gets too much, and the decision is made, but will the kind words of a stranger be enough to shine a light into the blinding darkness?

Warnings: use of y/n, mentions of suicidal thoughts/suicide

thank you @bernardsbendystraws for proofreading and being the best <3

**i do not consent to my work being copied, used for inspiration, or republished**

prologue <- -> next part

----------

Two weeks ago, I was prepared to take my own life. The decision made, the plan in place, the letter… almost written. The plan was halted when a brown-haired, ocean-eyed stranger reminded me why life was worth living. Why my story was worth completing. Matt spent hours with me that night discussing everything from dreams and fears to thoughts and memories. He breathed life back into me, and I will never be able to repay him for that. 

Today, I was walking down the streets of the small town I had escaped to, facing the daily challenge that Matt had so graciously deemed upon me: Do something for yourself. After much deliberation and argument, I walked towards an ice cream shop I used to love as a kid. The happy memories were plagued with the dark events in the years that followed. I paused as I approached the double doors, taking a shaky breath. I took out my phone and typed out a message.

Y/N:

I can’t do it. 

I stared at the screen, watching the bubbles appear almost instantly in the bottom corner. 

Matt: 

Yes, you can. Remember, there are things worth living for. You’re working on finding them. 

I sigh and gnaw at my bottom lip. 

Y/N:

I’m trying. I really am. But I don’t think I can do this. It’s too much. 

Matt: 

Look up, sweetheart. 

I lifted my eyes and saw Matt standing a few feet away with a comforting smile as he approached me. He placed his hand on my shoulder, his thumb gently caressing the bare skin. 

“You can do this. You have to do something for yourself. Ice cream is a treat, right?” He asks softly, his words firm and encouraging. 

“Yeah, ice cream’s a treat. I just..” My voice trails off as I stare at the ice cream parlor before me. “I just haven’t been here in a very long time.” My voice is soft, filled with nostalgia and a hint of pain. 

“Do you want to try something else?” He offers gently. Despite my stubbornness and hesitations, in the past two weeks, he has never once lost his patience with me. 

“No,” I say softly. “This used to be my favorite place.. This is for me.” I say with as much confidence as possible, which isn’t much. He smiles softly at me. 

“Lead the way.” 

I shakily grasp the door handle and pull it open, the familiar scent filling my nose as I step through the door, Matt following closely behind. 

“Oh, our little Rainbow!” A voice exclaims from behind the counter. My head snapped up as I saw Belinda, the older woman who runs the shop. 

“Mrs.B!” I exclaim happily as she rounds the counter and crushes me in a hug. 

“It has been too long, my girl. You’re all grown up. Let me look at you!” She states and holds me at arm's length as she examines every part of me. “Your hair is longer.” She says softly. 

“I decided to grow it out.” I smile softly. “It’s so good to see you, Mrs.B.” 

“I love it; it suits you and makes you look like an adult.” She smiles widely and then notices Matt. “And who’s this?” She asks with a slight smirk on her face. 

“This is Matt,” I say with a smile. “Just a friend, Mrs.B.” I giggle and turn to Matt. “She tends to romanticize everything.”

“I can’t help being in love with love!” She exclaims with faux dramatics. “You want your usual, Rainbow?” I can’t help but smile at the fact that she remembers my order despite it having been almost ten years since I’ve set foot in the shop. 

“Yes, please, Mrs.B. One for Matt too,” I say sweetly. 

Five minutes later, we’re both sitting at a small booth in the corner of the shop, sipping strawberry milkshakes. I hum lightly along with the music and glance around at the parlor. Nothing had changed in the last decade and it’s oddly comforting. 

“What’re you thinking about, hm?” Matt asks, looking at me curiously. 

“Just how much nothing has changed here. It’s.. comforting.” I smile softly at him. 

“How often did you use to come here?” He questions gently. 

“Every day, every summer.. Until I was 13.” I glance around again as if trying to memorize every detail. 

“Why’d you stop?” His question, seemingly innocent, creates a heavy pit in my stomach. 

“Mom and Dad got divorced that spring. Nobody was really up for family vacations after that.” I say quietly, omitting most of the details, unsure if it was for his or my benefit. Matt looked at me curiously, almost instantly knowing there was more to the story but choosing to pick his battles in breaking down my walls. 

“I’m sorry that happened,” he spoke softly. “This seems like a very special place, especially to you.” 

“It was.. Is.. This town, this shop, it was the focal point of my childhood. The happiest memories I have.” My voice was dripping with heartache as I recalled all the years spent here before my family crumbled to pieces. 

Matt and I sat in comfortable silence for the rest of the visit. The only sound being the hum of the machine and occasional conversations between Mrs.B and customers. Despite the ache in my chest remembering the happy moments, I can’t help but feel a sliver of relief that I’m here. I’m making new memories, happy ones. I look at Matt, a small smile on my face. He was the reason I was here. 

“What?” He asks with a soft chuckle. “Do I have something on my face?” He wipes around his mouth. 

“No,” I giggle. “I.. I’m just.. I feel a little better than okay right now.” My words are met with Matt's bright smile. 

“I am so glad, sweetheart.” He reaches across and squeezes my hand before pulling it back. He’s made sure to respect my personal space these past two weeks, never having physical contact with me more than necessary. Another fact on the list of why he’s the best person I’ve ever met. 

“I’m grateful for you,” I say simply. He looks at me, and I can see the happiness on his face. 

Once we finish our milkshakes, we begin the stroll back. The air swirling around us, the hint of saltiness from the ocean soothing every ache in my soul. I take in my surroundings inch by inch. A flower had bloomed more than it was yesterday, I saw a new face pass by us, a little girl hugged her Mom after getting a toy. Joy. A feeling I had almost forgotten existed. 

This was where I was meant to be. I think.

[wholoveseggs]

Indulgences

18+ ---- {Masterlist}

Part Two

Elijah returns to the club, seeking solace in the dimly lit corners. You navigate the allure of his wealth and charm while trapped in the grip of your possessive boyfriend.

3.5k words - Warnings: light smut, red door elijah {my interpretation of him}, drug use, adult themes, domestic abuse, violence, blood drinking.

Please be aware that there is domestic abuse going on in this part, do not read if you are uncomfortable.

{Part One} {Part Three} {Part Four}{Moodboard->}

"Baby, that's not what we discussed," Jordan whined, his hands finding their way to your body.

You were trying to cook dinner for the two of you, something simple and quick. Jordan's hands roamed your body, groping your breasts and ass. You sighed, pushing his hands away.

"I paid you back already, I'm keeping the rest, I earned it," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady.

"Babe, don't be like that; I got bills too," he cooed, stepping closer to you, kissing your neck.

"I'm not in the mood," you snapped, pushing him away.

"You're always in the mood," he murmured, his hand slipping between your legs.

"No, Jordan, I'm not," you protested, trying to squirm away from him. He held you firmly, his grip tight.

"Come on, babe, just a quickie," he said, his tone pleading.

"I have work soon," you replied, trying to stay calm.

He grew rigid, his jaw clenched, a familiar fury filling his gaze.

"So it's just a matter of time until you're riding some other guy's cock?"

You were stunned, his words cutting through you. You couldn't find the words to respond.

"You think I'm stupid? I know what you do," he sneered, his words dripping with venom.

"Jordan, please, we've been over this," you snapped in frustration.

He grabbed your wrist, his fingers digging into your skin. "Don't fucking talk to me like that," he growled, his eyes narrowed.

"Let go of me," you cried, trying to pull away.

He gripped your arm, pulling you towards him. His free hand wrapped around your throat, squeezing, his fingers pressing into your flesh.

"Thirty thousand for a lap dance, that's fucking bullshit. You must've sucked his dick, or something. You're not worth that much." His voice was cold, his eyes filled with rage.

"I didn't do anything, I danced for him and his brother, that's all. I didn't sleep with him," you choked out, tears filling your eyes. "You know I don't do that," you added, trying to reason with him.

"You're a fucking liar," he hissed, his hand tightening around your throat.

You struggled against him, desperate to break free.

"You're hurting me; please stop," you begged, clawing at his hands.

He let go, his expression shifting to one of feigned concern. "Babe, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," he said, his hands cupping your face.

Your mind was a foggy mess; you felt so disoriented. "You always lose control when you get high," you murmured, trying to calm your racing heart.

"I know, I'm sorry," he whispered, kissing you.

"It's okay," you sighed, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"I just love you so much and I hate the thought of other men touching you," he said, his voice soft, sincere.

"I know, it's not like that," you reassured him, pressing a kiss to his jaw.

"Come on, baby, I'll finish dinner; you go get ready for work," he said, stepping back, a smile on his face.

"Are you sure?" you asked, glancing at the clock.

"Yeah, go on," he replied, ushering you towards the bedroom.

You showered and got dressed, your mind racing. He'd apologized, again, but he never changed, not really. The abuse would stop for a while, then he'd be back to his old ways, blaming you, making you feel worthless. You looked in the mirror, examining the marks on your throat. They were faint but noticeable, and you wondered if you should cover them up. You applied concealer to the bruises, but you knew they were still there, a reminder of the power Jordan had over you.

After dinner you snuck into your bedroom and stuffed the money into your purse, then left for work. You would stash it in your locker, it could get stolen, but it was safer than leaving it with Jordan.

You stepped into the club, the loud music pulsing through the air, the smell of alcohol and sweat filling your nose. You went to the bar, greeted the bartender, and picked up a tray of drinks. You made your rounds, delivering the drinks to the various tables, smiling when the clients complimented you.

You watched the dancers, their bodies twisting and grinding against the poles, their faces masks of ecstasy. You wondered if you would ever get there, if you would ever reach that point of bliss, where your body and mind were completely at peace.

The night went on, and you continued to serve drinks, flirting and teasing the customers. It was a slow night, no VIPs or special clients. You wandered back to the dressing room, lighting a cigarette, the smoke filling your lungs.

You sat at your vanity, a frown on your face, the red mark on your neck was getting more and more noticeable.

You sighed, and pulled out a small baggie with your last remaining pill, you crushed it with the back of a nearby hairbrush and snorted it, the drug burning your nose.

"That fucking hot client from the other night is in the lobby," Tiffany announced as she walked in with Kelly, her voice breathless.

"The one with the fancy suit?" Kelly asked, her eyes wide.

"What about the other one? I heard 'Stace and 'Ton made twenty grand each off him," another girl named Jenna added.

"No, just the suit guy," Tiffany replied, her voice excited.

You perked up, the drugs kicking in, the rush of chemicals making you feel better.

"How many? What room?" Kelly asked, a wicked grin on her face.

"Platinum again, and he requested a specific girl," Tiffany answered.

"Lucky bitch, do you know who? Not Stacy, I hope," Jenna pouted, a frown on her face.

"No clue, Mitch was handling the booking, and you know how he is," Tiffany sighed, her lips pursed.

"Suit guy is so fine; I'd pay him to let me sit on his face," Kelly said, her cheeks flushed.

You laughed, your body relaxing, the stress of the day fading away.

"You think he'd be into that? Letting you sit on his face?" Jenna asked, a mischievous look in her eye.

"Only one way to find out," Kelly replied, her eyes twinkling.

"If he's paying twenty grand for a dance, he probably has a fetish, or he's some sort of freak," Jenna mused, her eyebrows furrowed.

"I don't care; he's hot and he pays well, and that's all I need," Kelly retorted.

"Wait, y/n, didn't you see him the other night?" Tiffany asked, her eyes locking onto you.

"Yeah, I did," you replied, trying not to sound too excited.

"What was he like? What did he want?" Kelly questioned, her voice eager.

"It was pretty normal, just a dance and some conversation; he was polite and well-mannered," you answered, trying not to think too much about the events of that night; it was all hazy in your mind.

"Do you think you're the one he requested?" Jenna asked, her voice hopeful.

"I doubt it; he probably doesn't remember me," you replied, shaking your head.

"Well, let's find out, shall we?" Kelly said, grabbing your hand and leading you to the lobby.

You followed her, your heart pounding, the drugs making your blood rush, your mind cloudy. You weren't expecting to have to do a private dance, and you were afraid that you were far too high for such an occasion.

You entered the lobby, the air smelling of cigars and cologne, the soft murmur of voices filling the air. Mitch spotted you before you saw him.

"There you are. You are needed in the platinum room," he said, his eyes darting between you and Kelly.

"Just me?" You asked, your voice soft.

"Yes, just you. You've been requested," he replied, a frown on his face.

"Oh, um, alright. I'll be right there," you murmured, turning to Kelly.

"Guess I was right, lucky bitch," she grinned, giving you a playful smack on the ass.

You left the lobby, your heart pounding, the walk up to the suite feeling longer than it usually did. You took a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves, and opened the door.

The room was the same as before, the lighting soft, the furniture plush, but the atmosphere was different. It was charged, electrified, the tension in the air thick and heavy.

Elijah was sitting in the center of the couch, his legs crossed, a glass of whiskey in his hand. His dark eyes were locked onto you, a hungry look in them.

"Hello, how are you?" His voice was smooth and velvety.

You walked over to him, a sway in your hips, and sat next to him.

"I didn't expect to see you again," you cooed, looking up at him.

"Me neither," he replied, his eyes never leaving yours.

You smiled and touched his chest; his suit jacket was already off, and the top buttons of his shirt were undone.

You leaned forward, your lips close to his, and whispered, "What do you need, handsome?"

His lips curled into a smile, a seductive expression crossing his face, "you," he replied.

You straddled him, your knees resting on either side of his hips, his hands automatically coming to rest on your waist.

"Is this okay?" You asked, your hands roaming over his chest.

"More than okay," he murmured, his hands slipping lower, cupping your ass.

You grind against him, the friction between your legs making you wet, the drugs amplifying the feeling. The way he was looking at you, like he wanted to devour you, was driving you wild. He pulled you closer, his lips brushing against yours, his fingers tangling in your hair.

"You're not as shy tonight," you teased, your lips grazing his jaw.

"You make it hard to be shy," he replied, his breath warm against your neck.

"Tell me what you want, handsome," you whispered, your tongue flicking over his earlobe.

He hummed in response, grazing his teeth along your neck, sending a shiver through you. You were intoxicated by his presence, his scent, the feel of his body against yours, you didn't know if it was the drugs or the man himself. You suddenly felt a sharp pain in your neck, and gasped, trying to pull away, but he just pressed you closer to him, his mouth working against your skin.

You felt a tingling sensation, a warm pleasure radiating from the spot, the feeling spreading through your body. Your mind was clouded, your thoughts jumbled, the drugs making everything feel surreal.

"It's okay, don't fight it," Elijah whispered, his voice low, soothing.

You let out a moan, the feeling overwhelming you, your body arching against him.

"That's it, good girl," he praised, his fingers gripping your ass.

You lost yourself in the sensations, your body responding to his touch, his voice. He pulled back, blood on his lips and took your trembling hands in his.

"Don't be afraid" he cooed, his thumb tracing circles on your palm.

You looked into his eyes, and saw a strange glint, something animalistic, almost predatory. His eyes were too dark, too deep, and you could feel yourself getting lost in them.

"You're not human are you? You're something else." You said, your voice barely a whisper.

"No, not all of me," he replied, a faint smile on his face. "I'm a vampire," he admitted, searching your face for a reaction.

Your pulse quickened, and a cold fear crept into your chest, mixing with the drugged up warmth. Your mind racing, trying to process his words, trying to understand them. You felt a strange sense of deja vu, flashes of the first night you danced for him, the feeling of his hands on you, his lips against yours, the taste of his blood.

"You’ve done this before haven't you? You drank my blood. I don't remember but I can feel it," you confessed, your voice quiet.

"Yes, beautiful, I made you forget ," Elijah replied, his tone reassuring.

"You'll do it again won't you? Erase my memories? Make me forget?" You asked, even though you knew the answer.

"Yes, I'm afraid so." He said, his thumb brushing over your lips.

"Why?" You asked, trying to keep your voice steady.

"It's easier for both of us, less complicated. This way we can both enjoy each other's company," he replied, a sly smile on his face.

"It must get lonely, being a vampire," you muttered, holding his gaze.

"Sometimes," he agreed, a sadness in his eyes.

"Is this why you're here?" You asked, the question slipping out before you could stop it.

"In part," he admitted, his hands gently caressing your arms.

"Have you ever been in love?" You asked, not knowing why.

He looked away, and you could see the pain, the grief in his eyes.

"Only a few times, it's a rare thing, a blessing and a curse," he replied, his eyes filled with emotion.

"How can love be a curse?" You inquired, genuinely curious.

"It can consume you, possess you, make you do things you wouldn't normally do," he said, his voice distant.

"Like what?" You pressed, leaning closer to him.

"Killing the people who get in the way," he answered, his tone dark, his gaze intense.

"Have you ever done that? Killed someone?" You asked, a small part of you fearing the answer.

"Yes, many times," he confessed, his eyes never leaving yours.

"Does it make you feel better? Less lonely?" You wondered, the question leaving your lips before you could stop it.

He gave you a strange look, searching your face, trying to read you. You could see a mixture of emotions playing behind his eyes, a myriad of different feelings. You could see his hunger, his desire, but there was also something else, something like guilt, pain, longing.

"I don't want it to, but there's something... intoxicating, about taking a life, about having that power," he explained, his voice hushed.

"Is it because you are a vampire? Or is it because it's who you are?" You asked, your eyes darting between his, waiting for his answer.

He shifted a little, contemplating your question, his brow furrowed. You could see him wrestling with his conscience, but he seemed determined to be truthful.

"I'm not sure; the two seem inextricably linked. There is this beast within me, and lately I've become more aware of it, it's harder to control," he confessed, his eyes distant.

You reached out and touched his face, drawing his gaze back to you. He looked into your eyes, and you could see the fear, the uncertainty, the doubt. You could see the real Elijah, the man behind the mask, and it was heartbreaking. He was a broken man, a lonely soul, and you wanted to help him.

"What happens when you give into this beast? What happens if you stop fighting it?" You asked, your voice filled with worry.

He gave you a sad smile, his fingers tracing down your neck, resting on your chest.

"What happens, my dear, is insanity," he replied, a mournful tone to his voice.

A shudder ran through you, a chill seeping into your bones. He wasn't lying, you could feel it, sense it, and it was terrifying. He resonated power, a raw energy, a force that could tear you apart, consume you.

"I'm afraid if I fall over the edge that I will be lost forever, that there will be no coming back, no salvation," he whispered, his voice breaking slightly.

"What if you weren't alone? What if you had someone to share it with, someone who could help you fight?" You suggested, looking into his eyes, feeling his pain.

"The woman I loved married another, she did it for duty, a selfless act to protect her child," he admitted, his eyes shimmering with tears.

"I can't help but think if I told her how I felt, that I loved her, everything would've been different," he continued, his voice filled with longing, and a sense of regret.

"Did you ever try?" You asked, feeling as if you already knew the answer.

"Yes," he chuckled humorlessly, "on her wedding day, but she wouldn't let me say it,"

"I'm sorry. No one should feel so alone," you said, pulling him into an embrace.

He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close, his body warm against yours.

"Can you do something for me?" He asked, his breath warm on your neck.

"Of course," you murmured, closing your eyes, savoring the moment.

"Tell me you love me," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "Like you mean it."

You tensed, you had a lot of strange requests from clients, but this was different, this was personal, vulnerable. You hesitated, the words trapped in your throat, an ache in your chest. It was a lie, you both knew it, but there was a sense of power, of possession, in giving it to him, in letting him have this false truth.

"I love you," you breathed, a strange thrill coursing through you, a heat coiling in the pit of your stomach.

There was a look of pain in his eyes, a sadness that broke your heart. You wondered how often he heard those words, how many people he lost, and the thought sent a wave of sorrow through you.

"Can you say it again? " He murmured, his eyes pleading.

You kissed him, a soft, tender kiss, and repeated, "I love you."

"One more time, please," he whispered, his lips grazing yours.

"I love you,”

You could feel him smile against you, a soft sigh escaping him, his arms tightening around you. A part of you wanted it to be true, wanted to be there for him, to love him. Your lives were so different, worlds apart, but in that moment, you felt connected, in a way you had never experienced before.

"Thank you," he murmured, his voice husky, a smirk on his face.

"For what?" You asked, your breath catching in your throat.

"For indulging me," he replied, his hands trailing up your back.

"You don't have to thank me," you replied, looking into his eyes.

"I- I don't do this often, if at all; I just needed to hear someone say that," he confessed, his voice barely audible.

You held him close, trying to comfort him, to take away his pain. The drugs were making you feel warm, fuzzy, and there was a hunger growing within you, a heat between your legs. But you pulled away, shame and guilt eating at you. Your job was to please him, to help him forget his troubles, to gain his gratitude for tips. You're not supposed to sleep with clients and especially not supposed to fall for them.

"Time is almost up handsome," you said, forcing yourself to disengage, to pull back, your brain screaming "no" at you.

You stood up, your heart aching, a dull throb between your legs. You wanted him, the ache turning into a need, and you were on the verge of throwing caution to the wind. To hell with the rules, the job, your life.

"Very well," he said, rising to his feet, his gaze lingering on your body.

"A tip," he offered, his lips curling into a grin.

"Only if you think I deserve it," you teased, a small smile on your face.

He approached you, his dark eyes filled with desire, his hands gently cupping your face. You looked up at him, your breath catching in your throat, your mind reeling, and then his lips were on yours, soft, tender, sweet. It was a kiss filled with emotion, with need, with longing.

"You won't remember anything we discussed until I see you again," he murmured against your lips.

And with that, he walked out, leaving you standing in the middle of the room, a sense of emptiness filling you. You went to the mirror and checked yourself. Your make up was perfect, your hair artfully disheveled, your body still damp with sweat. You looked as if nothing had happened, as if Elijah had never been there, all you had as proof was the large stack of hundreds in your hand and an inexplicable ache in your heart.

{Part One} {Part Three} {Part Four}{Moodboard->}

♡♡ Tag-List ♡♡

♡ @gorgeouslydangerous ♡ @starkleila ♡ @lydia1369sworld ♡ @notleylaaa ♡ @vervain3 ♡ @vamprium ♡ @myanmy ♡ @xflowerbombxo ♡ @maryvibess ♡ @always-and-forever-daydreaming ♡ @spnaquakindgdom

[seriousbrat]

This is so insidious. "Be aware of your language because you might unknowingly be spreading Evil ideology!!" basically just means "don't talk about this at all because it bothers me". It's so so transparent. If I'm constantly having to be careful about what I say about female characters (regardless of my actual intended meaning) because this Supreme Arbiter of Truth might randomly decide it's Terf Rhetoric Actually how can I ever have any sort of meaningful discussion at all? Notice how it's framed as "unknowingly"– if I have no possible way of knowing HOW I'm using Evil Language, how can I possibly avoid it? By shutting up is the answer.

It's based on NOTHING. It's a strawman. There is not a single Lily fan that thinks that Lily is just a mother and nothing else. Seeing Lily as more than a mother and recognising motherhood is important to her story are not mutually exclusive. Furthermore, in what world is pointing out that women are sidelined in fandom terf rhetoric? This person is just deliberately conflating discussions about misogyny in fandom with hate groups because they know that's an easy way to get people riled. They're pretending the main argument against Lily's exclusion in fandom is about motherhood (it's not) and then doing a further mental backflip to stir up moral outrage about people defending female characters.

Be absolutely clear about this- this person KNOWS, deep down, that there is a reason why they only engage with male characters, and this bothers them. Instead of being honest with themselves about it they are inventing a bullshit faux progressive reason to silence any and all criticism and convince their own conscience that they're in the right.

There are no laws, obviously, saying you can't change lily's story or make her a side character if you want. I myself once made her a side character in a prongsfoot fic. The problem is when this is an overwhelming tendency in fandom, which IS significant and IS, in my opinion at least, worth pointing out. When arguably the most important character in the Marauders Era is routinely sidelined in favour of male characters who are literally irrelevant, that does actually say something about what sorts of characters fandom likes to engage with and why. When she's routinely bashed and hated for not really doing anything wrong while male characters who range from bullies to murderers are excused and idealised, that does say something.

It's never pleasant to have to critically examine your own interactions with fiction and accept that your preferences might be rooted in deeper-held beliefs about the world. But it is important, and one way to do this is to facilitate open conversations between different points of view. One way to NOT do this is claiming that everyone else but you is "accidentally" "unknowingly" using evil language so they might as well shut up about their opinions and about women in general.

[soullessjack]

mm ok I have something to talk about finally ! so something I’ve noticed in a lot of discussions/meta around the TFW2.0 family dynamic + cycles of abuse is that it almost always opts to frame jack as a perpetual victim of [sam and] dean’s mistreatment who can’t fight back, and while I don’t mean to say it’s completely without merit, I feel that it does a slight disservice to Jack’s character by always reducing him into a helpless child (even if he is seen as older by the poster) who cannot/should not bear any responsibility in any of his relationships with his fathers.

to start, the cycle of abuse coincides with an imbalanced power dynamic; someone with more or higher power and authority over you (ie parent, boss or teacher) uses that authority to exploit, control, and/or freely mistreat you. i will note that it doesn’t necessarily have to be framed this way to be abuse, like a situation where blackmail grants someone authority over their target; there are also some dynamics that are inherently imbalanced without being inherently abusive (see above examples). the abuse relies on that dynamic being manipulated, not the dynamic itself.

in the majority of posts I’ve seen, the power imbalance between TFW2.0 almost always puts jack at the bottom of the totem pole, in a constant state of victimhood because he’s constantly at the mercy of [sam and] dean [and cas].*boxed these in bc people rarely pick on sam or cas for their transgressions and whether or not they’ll kill him. clarifying again that i understand where this comes from, but I also think it’s a fairly dated perspective on their dynamic that should really be re-examined—especially with Jack’s autonomy more in mind—and i believe @shallowseeker has a post about the exact timeframe of Cas’ death and Dean’s widower arc/mistreatment of Jack that i recommend for it.

but onto my main point, I feel that this representation of their dynamic is inaccurate, and doesn’t really take jack into account beyond the Helpless Child Victim narrative. for the sake of staying on topic let me just summarize a few things:

A) Jack is the most powerful being in the universe and is functionally immortal/unkillable. He is a greater threat to TFW than they are to him, and so he is the one with power in the dynamic, not the other way around. It all hinges on his personal choice to not harm them (because he loves them of course).

B) Jack is and always has been painfully aware of his power, the threat he poses, the dynamic it creates and the underlying tension it constantly causes with his relationships. The majority of his actions and motivations are rooted in his own self-fear, and the determination to prove he’s good/safe.

Another small point I’ll shove in is that Dean canonically never forgave himself for his mistreatment of Jack, and spent almost the entirety of their relationship trying to make up for it (especially in 14x06, 07 & 08). Likewise, Dean’s promise to kill Jack in 13x02 and that scene from Moriah are both often misunderstood as more Textbook Dean Abuse with **Jack’s perspectives (ie: “dean said he’d kill me, and maybe he should,” his admission of guilt and willingness to let Dean shoot him) (also, his choice to forgive dean at some point offscreen) being largely overlooked.

**obviously it’s not healthy or good for Jack to basically consent to being mistreated or killed because he thinks he somehow deserves it, nor does it make Dean’s actions excusable or justified in any way, but i still feel that it’s worth pointing out as examples of Jack’s autonomy and awareness in the aforementioned power dynamic.

Jack’s responsibility is also pretty unaccounted for in these dynamics (especially when it comes to Mary’s death) which I think stems equally from the fact that his soullessness—and by extension, his soulless actions—were caused by Sam and Dean’s actions and the general perspective of him as a child [who doesn’t deserve the burden he carries, and should be carefree], so nothing is directly his fault and nobody can get mad at him either or that’s also seen as unfair mistreatment). I also personally just think it’s odd because Jack in canon is very adamant about being able to take and hold responsibility (as it relates to his autonomy and wanting to be seen as a separate person from his parents). and, going back to Mary, Jack not only becomes psychotic with guilt over killing her, but after his soul is restored in S15, he has a complete breakdown from the sheer horror of what he’s done, and because, in his own words, it’s all his fault.

I won’t go into the worm can of people blaming Dean for how he handled reliving to his root trauma, but suffice it to say: he had every right to be angry, he was well within reason to act unreasonably, and stop trying to fix his conflict with jack by parentifying him with an innocent baby when he already has parentification trauma and that baby is merely an excuse to absolve Jack of any responsibility he had in the conflict.

I will always and forever love the meta side of the fandom, and I honestly owe my blog’s existence to it, but I still think we have a long way to go in terms of how jack is represented/portrayed in these discussions, and likewise, how that portrayal frames/reflects on sam, dean and cas ^_^

[heliza24]

Oh, I Iove your thoughts and the overall approach to the analysis of the intimate (and not so) scenes. I would like to read your take on Simon/Marcus scene. Everyone avoids it like a plague or just blames the actors for the lack of chemistry, but I’m sure we were meant to feel the uneasiness between them. What would you say? No pressure though, if it’s not something you want to discuss.

Hi anon! I'm so glad you like my analysis and I'm really happy that you requested that I look at this scene! Rewatching their almost hookup was a bit of a challenge (the second hand embarrassment! it's so much!) but it's a really interesting case study. I think you're absolutely right; this scene is meant to make us feel uneasy. Let's take a look and try to figure out how it accomplishes that.

The first thing I noticed about the scene was the music. This scene doesn't have original scoring or a needle drop. Instead it has diagetic sound. The only thing we hear is the tinny, distant sound of music playing out of Marcus's speakers, and we can't even distinguish what song is playing. I think this is really significant because of how crucial the music is in creating a sense of magic in every other intimate scene. When Simon and Wilhelm are together, I would describe the music as shimmery, bright, and warm. It wraps them up and transports them into their own special world together. But with Marcus, we are firmly grounded in the real world, where things can be awkward or embarrassing or uncomfortable.

The second thing I noticed was the way the scene is edited. Most of the time when two characters are having a conversation, the editing will go: shot (on character A as they speak), reverse shot (on character B as they speak). But sometimes in this scene, the camera lingers on Simon even as Marcus starts to speak. There are a lot of close ups of Simon's face; the camera examines him a lot more closely than it does Marcus. I think it's pretty clear that Simon is the POV character in this scene. We're supposed to feel tuned in to his feelings of discomfort and embarrassment. Omar does a great job of conveying this and the camera gives us time to take it in. This is also in contrast to Wilmon scenes, where the camera pays equal attention to both characters, emphasizing their connection.

Marcus's little apartment is warmly lit, but there are no shafts of light or lens flares like in some of the Wilmon scenes. And while some of the close up shots of Simon have a golden tint to them, the shots of Marcus are more cool colored. They're disconnected, not in the same intimate space together.

I haven't talked a ton about costuming in my previous posts, but I think it's worth thinking about here. In the scene immediately preceding this one, Simon puts on the orange sweater he stole from Wilhelm. When he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he immediately feels sad and annoyed to see himself immersed in this visual reminder of Wilhelm, and takes the sweater off and texts Marcus as a response. But when he goes over to Marcus's place, he's changed into his orange sweatshirt. He's still wearing Wilhelm's color, even as he tries to engage with Marcus.

Simon calls Marcus's place "cozy", in what I think is a deliberate call back to Wilhelm saying the same thing about Simon's room in season 1. I think this makes sense from a character perspective; hearing his space called cozy made Simon feel good, so he's mirroring that back to Marcus in an attempt to make Marcus feel good. But it also reminds the viewer of that season 1 scene, and helps us notice the contrasts.

The last thing I noticed, and the thing that makes me most uncomfortable about this scene, is the way that the blocking (shout out Sara Arrhusius and their great work) puts Marcus in control. In some ways this feels like a further emphasis on how much of an adult Marcus is in this scene. Marcus is so mature that he has his own place, a rarity for a high school student (even if it is just in the backyard of his family's house), and Simon is totally on his turf. Marcus is dictating the pace of their relationship, without input from Simon. And he's also placing Simon in a subservient physical position, by pushing him away, holding the back of his neck, and putting his arm around him on the couch. There's nothing wrong with those gestures in and of themselves, and for some couples those motions would communicate care or be a part of a positive sexual dynamic. But so much of Simon's character revolves around his outspokenness, his fearlessness. His scenes with Wilhelm are filled with physical give and take. They read as equals. But Marcus's body language here feels like he's trying to silence Simon, and assert himself as the dominant partner in the relationship. Simon is so embarrassed at his advances being rebuffed that he goes along with this without protest, but I think you can tell that it makes him uncomfortable. And it creates the beginning of a pattern where Marcus sets himself up as the more mature partner who has to educate Simon which continues throughout the season.

(This is more of a personal headcanon thing, but I know a lot of fic writers interpret Wilhelm as the more dominant one, or the one who initiates more in the relationship with Simon. But I have the opposite read of their dynamic/roles. Simon's discomfort in this scene is one of my reasons for that. Not to be too self promo-y, but if you agree and need a palate cleanser after thinking about this scene I might suggest the end of chapter 23 of Heart and Homeland for no particular reason 😉)

I hope that makes it clear that this scene was absolutely supposed to create maximum discomfort and second hand embarrassment. The blocking and technical elements all reinforce this. Omar and Tommy were doing their jobs well, and the lack of chemistry isn't a flaw, it's a feature.

Thanks again for asking anon! I love writing these. If anyone else has a scene they want me to examine, my ask box is always open! 💜

[isobelleposts]

What is Worth More, Art or Life?

by Isobelle Cruz [October 26, 2022]

ABOVE: "Sunflowers" (1888) by Vincent van Gogh

A close friend of mine recently brought up the latest issue regarding the two activists that had thrown soup at Van Gogh’s “Sunflowers” painting at London’s National Art Gallery and had sparked an interest in me to look further into it, and how this is not the first instance wherein art had been used as a gateway to spreading social awareness.

Was it right? Was it wrong? Let’s start with what the news articles say.

As usual, news articles and journalists have refrained from stating opinions and instead laid out facts on the event. One thing I had noticed, though, while on this little research of mine, was the prominent use of the word “Gen-Z” in news headlines. Young people are getting more and more aware of society’s troubles and unjust treatment of the privileged towards minorities as time passes by. With that, activists have grown to find more uniquely absurd ways to catch mass attention and awareness.

Earlier this year in May, at the Louvre Museum, a 36-year-old man had smeared cake on Da Vinci’s “Mona Lisa” with the intent of drawing attention to the environmental damage that is caused by artists and their craft. His words spoken in French specifically were as stated below:

"There are people who are destroying the Earth. All artists, think about the earth. That’s why I did this. Think of the planet.”

Just like the Mona Lisa cake-smearing situation, the recent event that took place on October 14th garnered a lot of attention online and several opinions were broadcasted through social media outlets; one of them popularly being Twitter. Though to thoroughly examine the situation, I’ve decided to go beyond the surface of social media posts and online articles and had some people closely related in my life—most of them fellow artists connected through a mutual friend—state their thoughts and opinions.

ABOVE: "Minotaur Caressing a Sleeping Woman" (1933) by Pablo Picasso

WHAT DO THE PEOPLE THINK?

It was in my favor, that, just like opinions are split in half and spread across social media, the personal statements I’ve come to gather are diverse in their takes on the situation as well, hence broadening the areas of my discussion.

One of them stated that they weren’t sure what to think but were relieved that the painting wasn’t damaged, while others think the same though feel that it wasn’t the right approach to take on behalf of the activists. 

Another states quite boldly that the attempt to destroy such an important piece of art and cultural history won’t fix the climate crisis and also compares it to destroying the great pyramids in an attempt to fix racism.

Personally, I think that is a completely irrelevant comparison. Although there are several conflicting and morally bad artists out there whose paintings could have been harmed instead, such as Pablo Picasso, who used his art as a form to showcase his misogyny towards “machines for suffering”, “doormats”, or women, it still does not take away the fact that this not-so newly adapted form activism was successful in garnering attention towards artists and enjoyers of art—no matter how small or large it may seem.

ABOVE: "Ophelia" (1851–1852) by John Everett Millais

WHAT CAN I DO?

As someone who participates in the problem of our crisis through the use of oil paints and other harmful materials, I began wondering what I may change or prevent in order to help in the situation. It would be ignorant to find this occasion as something interesting enough to be worth writing about yet continually participating in everyday actions that slowly destroy our environment.

For a detailed discussion of what artists may do to become more environmentally friendly, I went over a helpful article written by Agora Experts titled Going Green: Environmentally Friendly Practices for Artists.

“What is worth more, art or life? Is it worth more than food? Worth more than justice? Are you more concerned about the protection of a painting or the protection of our planet and people?”

Statement from one of the activists on the Van Gogh occurrence

Tell me, what is worth more to you? Art or life?

[willing-but-not-able]

So um, I was considering just putting this on my Wattpad, but I wasn't sure if it would be worth the extra effort. So for now, I'll just post it here and see how it does :)

Note: This involves a few of my OCs with each of the boys to make it more realistic. This is a collab idea I had for a story of mine, so the doc is title is: Obey Me! x Quiet Girl lol. This is also a WIP (current total WC is 4k) as I have more One shots than I do full length story ideas.

Hope you enjoy though!

WC: 1k

Part 1

“What do you mean he sent something?” Jessica, the pessimistic of the group, asked Quana. They all seemed at the same level of confusion.

“Just that.” She took out a letter and presented it to the girls. “It's an empty envelope.” Her bright blue eyes narrowed at the letter in her hands.

They all looked at the envelope, trying to make sense of what they were seeing.

“And Solomon hasn't texted you or anything?” Cassie asked.

“Of course not!" Quana huffed. "You know how he is.”

“Yeah, a pain…” Cassie mumbled.

“Huh?”

“Nothing.” Cassie returned her attention to the letter. “There’s gotta be something we can do with this.” She took the letter and began to examine it.

“Maybe we can just text one of the boys?” Keris spoke up after a second of her standing by.

“If they're not busy. Last I heard from Lucifer they were getting ready for a RAD alchemy tournament.”

Quana groaned. “Why would Monny send this and not tell me what it’s for? I’m so gonna so kill him for this!”

While the girls discussed their options. Cassie's attention had been on the Cassie letter in the hopes of finding something Solomon left as a clue.

Nothing seemed out of sorts, but Cassie knew there had to be something up. One half of the letter has strange markings and they seemed to end abruptly on one half of the paper. She hummed in confusion before she held the letter up in the air and then she let out a small gasp that caught the other girl’s attention.

“Guys, I think I know what’s up!” Cassie began to open the letter carefully. She opened it fully and unfolded the creases until it was back to its original state. “It’s a summoning circle!”

“Seriously?”

“How?”

“There was a weird pattern on one side. I held it up to the sun and noticed the other lines on the inside.”

“Good going,” Keris said, “but how do we activate it?”

“I know!” Quana boasted. “Monny taught me how to summon. As long as I recite this basic one, the function of the circle should be fulfilled.”

“So he did expect you to know,” Jessica said, “wish he wasn’t so cryptic about it though.”

“I bet he is watching us somewhere, he just likes to see stuff like this.” Quana grumbled softly, but she sat on the floor and the girls gathered around. Cassie laid out the paper and Quana put her hands to the circle. “Okay, let’s hope this works.”

The girls have expectant looks to one another, but remained quiet to let Quana focus. She began to recite the words Solomon taught her. She went on for close to two minutes before Quana finished and the circle began to glow.

The girls were in awe as they watched the world around them disappear, their normal human world slowly turned into the Devildom they had gotten used to.

The place where the Seven Princes of Hell resided.

The transportation finally ended and the girls were in the middle of the street getting strange looks from the inhabitants of the Devildom.

“We’re back!” Quana exclaimed as she got up.

“He really sent us back here… but why?” Jessica questioned.

“I don’t know, but you guys know what that means don’t you?” Keris said and the girls all looked at each other.

“If only we weren’t in the middle of nowhere…” Quana pouted but soon she felt hands on her shoulders.

“This isn’t the middle of nowhere Quana.”

She gasped and turned around to face the person who had touched her. In front of her was the Great Sorcerer, Solomon.

While her eyes were filled with a sweet fondness, it faded as quickly as it appeared. “Monny! Did you really bring us back here?”

“Of course. There’s no one strong enough to even think of tricking you girls.”

“Maybe, but you could have left some clearer instructions,” Jessica said.

Solomon chuckled. “Apologizes, but you all managed to figure it out in the end.”

“Only ‘cause Cassie found out your little trick,” Keris said.

Solomon gave a confused look. “Hmm? Cassie? Did she leave you all?”

“No, she’s right-” Quana looked back and they all realized Cassie was nowhere to be found. “Where’d she go?” Quana asked, but then gave a small shrug. “I should have figured she dipped on us, since you two weren't fighting.”

Solomom smiled. “Yes, her words of logic. But, she didn’t move when you all finished the summon did she?”

“No, she was here with us a second ago.” Jessica explained.

“I think I know where she went.” Keris began.

They all looked at her and seemed to fall to the same conclusion.

Solomon, knowing Cassie well enough to also assume where she was, gave a soft smile. “Then she’s fine, but perhaps we should join her?” Solomon suggested.

The girls agreed and they began to walk off together.

“But Monny, I’m really gonna kill you if you ignore my texts again!” Quana scolded.

“I know, I just didn’t want to lead you on. I needed to know that you could figure it out on your own. Even though you didn’t, you certainly knew how to summon on your own. I’m proud of that.” He touched the top of her head, but Quana pouted and started walking faster.

“You’ll still have to make up for it!”

“Right, of course.”

“Sams as usual huh?”

Jessica agreed with Keris as they continued to the House of Lamentation...

...

Cassie took off as quickly as she could once she realized where they were. The electronic district was something she was more than familiar with, and getting back to the house was an easy task for her.

She made good time and arrived at the house where she panted as she caught her breath. However, the gate was locked and she groaned knowing she had to get inside!

Cassie took a small breath before she began to climb the fence. She managed to get over with just a scrape to her elbow and she dropped down before taking her phone out. She called Levi and he picked up after the second ring.

“Cassie! You called at the perfect time! The launch of the online mode just came out and they added online co-op! Now we can kick ass!”

Cassie was grateful he allowed her some more time to catch her breath. “Levi… didn’t you order something?”

“What? I don’t remember that?”

“I think you should check though, I got a notification from a date I set.”

“Really? Why didn’t you just text me?”

“I needed to know you got it, Mammon might take it before you.”

“You’re right. Whatever it is, he’ll find a way to sell it for sure. I’ll check right now.”

They said nothing for a while after that and Cassie just hung the phone up. By the time she could hear him just behind the door, she grew ever more anxious until it finally opened and their eyes met.

Levi froze upon seeing her and Cassie's smile only grew as she stared at him. Levi seemed in disbelief at the sight of her and he began to reach a trembling hand towards her.

“Wuh-what are you… Ha-how are you here…”

[crowaes]

reader response theory is not generally a theory that i apply to media since its usually not the best fit. my analyses tend to be on things that arent exactly niche but arent blockbusters either. i wouldnt describe a lot of what i like as pop culture but subculture. typically lenses like feminist theory, queer theory, or marxist theory are more applicable

that said, i do find the concept of an affective experience present in pop culture theories that ive encountered, and as an element of reader response theory, to be incredibly interesting and key to how i approach reviews.

when i watch video essays and reviews, i notice my favorite ones trend towards an especially subjective analysis. its not so much an evaluation of the work, but a persuasion to the viewer to love or hate the work as much as the reviewer themself. not to say that it lacks grounded or objective analysis, of course. its just that individual and affective response gets centered in that discussion

a key part of what i want to do with reviewing is express not just why i think a piece of media is worth examining in terms of quality, academic value, or profundity. its also about how it produced an affective response and the detail of what that response was.

like a really good example of what im talking about is tim rogers boku no natsuyasumi review. so much of that video is about the specific emotional response he had and his own complicated feelings about nostalgia, aging, memory, and childhood. a large section of that review is about what the game made him feel and why, including the experiences of his life.

i dont think im an exceptionally interesting person. but i do think people, and by extent the deeply personal relationships we form with media, are interesting. its something i want to hear about more and something i always find myself coming back to in reviews. in many ways, its what i feel distinguishes my academic writing from reviews. its the difference between trying to keep something at arms length and pick it apart versus holding it at every step and picking apart how and why it impacted you.

[girlyholic]

Is Overlap Possible Between Menhera and Jirai?

Jirai and mental health is a topic I feel is worth addressing, as I’ve noticed a specific trend both in my inbox and in general replies on this subject. I often see the sentiment that pushing against the term Jirai is hurting those with mental illness more than helping, as there are some people with mental illness who find solace in the term and wish to reclaim it.

Regarding that, people can look at the facts of what Jirai is and make their own decisions. I am just here to provide a bit more clarity on what it is so newcomers can enjoy the actual fashion that got overshadowed by the harmful meme blowing up.

But this raises a point that’s worth examining, since some people feel so strongly about it. Is Jirai, which is heavily tied to the Japanese anti-recovery community, something that can ever be considered comparable to Menhera, which is about mental health awareness?

Putting a TW here before the readmore for a brief discussion of self harming behaviors.

To start, I’ll explain what Menhera is and how it relates to this conversation. The term Menhera first came about on 2channel in 2000, coined by the users of its mental health board as a nickname for themself. People on this board would not only exchange about mental health, but also share all kinds of vent art. Menhera art became an own genre, exhibitions dedicated to it began to be made, and Menhera turned into an own subculture. The thing that’s important to note is that before Menhera was born, there were no neutral terms for the mentally ill in Japanese, they were all exclusively derogatory.

This neutral meaning lasted for over a decade, until the term was discovered by outsiders in the early days of the social media boom. “Menhera Kei”, meaning Menhera-type, became the name of a stereotype used to label women as crazy. Examples of the stereotype include women who can’t accept failure, or who seek attention from others, since they have no self-esteem. A great deal of emphasis was put on women of this “type” having unfixable personality flaws, because in Japan, mental health issues are generally considered to be personal failings that cause trouble for others, and not legitimate health issues.

On paper, that sounds a lot like Jirai, doesn’t it? Both are words that have stereotypes about mentally-ill women associated with them.

There is one key difference: Jirai's background is the total opposite of Menhera. Menhera as a term was made by the mental health community for the mental health community, and you don’t seek out a mental health board to get worse. It may have a secondary meaning as an ableist stereotype, but that came about from people taking a term mentally-ill people came up with to use amongst themselves and twisting it.

Meanwhile, there never has been a positive association with Jirai, and it’s not uncommon for Japanese netizens to use it in a self-deprecating manner. Looking at accounts of self-proclaimed landmines quickly shows that there is no intent to reclaim the term, meaning to turn it into something positive, but instead it is used as a way to find affirmation in self-destructive and self-harming behaviors. When it isn’t graphic photos of self-harm, it’s often things that are more subtle, such as posting about passing out drunk sleeping on the streets or how they don’t deserve to eat at best, or sharing screenshots of questionable LINE messages with captions about how cute it is that they’re gaslighting their partner at worst. It is almost always not a rejection of the harmful traits of the stereotype, but an embrace of them.

And I really need to clarify that I don’t think people who post that sort of content are bad people. That’s the reason why I never link to any of these accounts. These are people who are deeply embroiled in a culture and aesthetic that is harming them further, and I sincerely hope that one day they can break out of it. I struggle with mental illness myself and can understand that side of it completely.

Seeking mental well-being, which is what Menhera refers to, is not comparable to Jirai, which has been heavily associated with the anti-recovery community. This is why this whole discourse feels a bit strange, as Menhera is right there and encompasses what people boasting about reclaiming Jirai are usually looking for. There isn’t really a need to reclaim Jirai in the west anyways as nobody is affected by its derogatory meaning the way people in Japan are to begin with.

[owletwriter]

Welcome to Hawkins

CHAPTER 6

Summary: Stranger Things and The Upside Down, they're both fictional, right? But what if it wasn't? What if somehow, someone comes across a gate and ends up in not only the 80s...but in Hawkins?

Slow-burn Eddie x Reader / Eddie x OC, Robin x Friendship!Reader

Disclaimer: Don't own the rights to any characters except the ones I created for this story.

Hope you enjoy!

CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 3 | CHAPTER 4 | CHAPTER 5 | CHAPTER 7 | CHAPTER 8 | CHAPTER 9

------------------------------

It's been about over a week since it was concluded that there was no gate present at Hawkins High. During that time, Steve, Robin and Dustin informed the rest of the group about the situation, even contacting those who moved to California. After some brainstorming, we wound up at the same conclusion, there's nothing that could be done without a gate present.

There was even a discussion if Eleven could open one, but she doesn't have her abilities anymore and even if she did, it's not worth the risk for what might happen opening a gate. Nancy suggested getting in touch with Dr. Owens, but no one knows how to contact him since he apparently went off the grid. As of right now, I'm stuck in the 80s and until something organically happens, this is my new life.

Other than that, every day life has been normal. School, for the most part, has been lackluster. I've been lucky enough to not accidentally bump into the metalhead again. In Pre-Calculous, he skipped a few times and when he does show up, I've been making sure to be in class early, so I can keep my head down looking busy. I feel ridiculous and immature doing it, but I can't help it.

Currently, I've been trying to find someplace to move. Robin has been nothing but generous to me, even getting me a job at "Family Video" and lending me some cash to buy some clothing of my own. However, I think I've overstayed my welcome and even though she's told me it's completely fine, I feel guilty about it. Plus, her mom will get suspicious if I stay for more than the allotted time we said I'd be here.

"You really don't have to leave, you know?" Robin tells me with a sympathetic look as we get ready for school.

I shake my head replying, "Seriously, it's fine, Robin. I'll need to find a place eventually, might as well start now." Robin observes me as I shove my books into my bag and then puts her hand on my shoulder to make me turn around.

Examining my face with slight worry in her expression she asks, "Hey…are you okay?"

Giving her a convincing smile I say, "Yeah, I'm good. I'm just a little worried about my Pre-Calc test today."

"You'll definitely ace it. You're actually some type of savant when it comes to math." She jokes lightly shoving my shoulder earning a chuckle from me. It's then the routine of breakfast, Steve picking us up, and listening to the debate of the day between the two of them while heading to the high school. Today's argument is about what the best sci-fi movie is.

"Hello? It's clearly Back to the Future! Right, Kate?" Robin claims while asking me for backup.

Steve immediately shakes his head, "No way! You only think that because it's popular right now, but Dune is classic and will continue to be one." Steve says rejecting Robin's stance.

"Nope, mine is the superior one. What other movie would take the risk and show a mom wanting to bang her son? Plus, it's going to have a sequel. You only get a sequel if it's awesome." She counters his stance with a smirk.

"Mhm, yeah sure, if you're into that." He tells Robin jokingly judging her which results in her lightly shoving him and he then exclaims, "And hey that's cheating because you had future insight!" He comes up with an idea and says, "Here's an easy way to know which one is better..." Steve addresses me glancing towards the back seat, "Kate, which movie do people know about in the future?"

Robin scoffs, "Now who's the one cheating and you know Kate won't tell us, right?"

I notice a lull in their debate and realize they're waiting for me to say something, "Oh uh, yeah! Sorry can't tell you."

I then continue to gaze out the window and I can here Steve whisper to Robin, "What's with her?" I don't hear a response so I assume Robin just gave him a gesture. We arrive at the school and Steve waves a goodbye as the two of us walk away. Robin and I agree to meet at her locker this time for lunch, and then we split off to our schedules.

Again, I make sure to get to Ms. O'Donnell's class early and instead of pretending to be busy, I actually review the material before the test. Right after the bell rings, I feel the familiar presence of the metalhead passing by me and the usual bundle of nerves come, but I've been getting used to the sensation.

The test is handed out and stare at it before writing my name and the date. The 18th. Let's hope this day just goes by fast. I think as I scan the test first and then begin. It goes smoothly for me solving the problems and with the last few minutes of the class I check for any mistakes. For the rest of the classes, I go through the same motions and space out a little more than usually do.

By the time lunch rolls around, the first question out of Robin's mouth when we sit down to eat is, "How did the test go?"

"It went pretty well. I was able to answer all the problems easily." I answer while chewing after taking a bite of my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. 

When I hear no reply I glance up to see Robin inspecting me again, then asks, "Seriously, what is going on with you?"

"What do you mean?" I ask her back a little taken aback by the question.

"You've been pretty quiet and just seem, I don't know…a bit sad?" Robin explains it the best way she can to me. "Did something happen with you-know-who? Like something embarrassing?" She assumes speaking quietly knowing I don't want it to be overheard.

"No, no! Nothing like that." I respond shaking my head and add, "I just didn't really sleep that well, so I've been feeling like a zombie all day."

Relaxing, she chuckles, "Oh yeah, I definitely know that feeling." After a bit more casual conversation, the bell rings and it's time for our History class. Looking down at my tray, Robin points down at the untouched cupcake commenting, "You didn't get to eat your cupcake."

I grab it while putting the tray back where it needs to be and say, "Ah well, I'll just save it for later." We walk over to my locker so I can put it inside while I also snatch the books I need.

It's difficult to stay focused during the class when it starts and during the whole lesson I notice Robin taking glances over at me probably still concerned. Even though it's painstakingly trudging along, the lesson eventually concludes and I stretch out my limbs before standing from my desk.

Before we part for our last class, Robin asserts, "Meet me at my locker again when your class finishes." Without questioning it, I just agree and then she turns to exit the room for her next class.

As I get the textbook for the final subject, I stare at the cupcake sitting in my locker. Screw it. I think as I shove the book back in it's spot, grab the cupcake, and close my locker making my way towards the back of the school. I exit through the back door, scan around to see if anyone is in the vicinity and take a seat on the steps near the top.

Staring down at the delectable treat in my hand, as my mind wanders. I hope Sarah is okay. I don't know how long it's been since I've been gone. I'm unsure if time works the same here versus there. It could be ten minutes or ten years. It doesn't matter I guess because it's not like I'm going back. I won't be able to see my friends, my parents, or brother again. I thought I would be spending today with Sarah. We'd probably go to our usual karaoke spot and then get some ramen from our favorite Japanese restaurant in the city. My eyes start to shed a few tears thinking about my life back during the present day. The door from behind me suddenly opens causing me to spin around to see who it is. It's the last person who I would want seeing me like this in my current state, Eddie.

"Oh sorry, I didn't know anyone else would be here." He quickly says about to turn around until he recognizes me and teases, "I didn’t think you'd be the type to skip."

I clear my throat and look down trying to hide my face with my hair while responding , "I-I…usually don't."

"Well, there's a first time for everything." He chuckles a little, but then he gets a good look at me pausing to ask, "You okay?"

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine." I reply not wanting to deal with him and so I turn my back to him wiping my eyes. I don't hear anything for a moment, but then there's footsteps coming towards me. From the corner of my eye, I see him take a seat next to me a couple of inches away to give me my space.

After a few more seconds of silence, he speaks up nonchalantly, "You know…I didn't think my reputation was that well known that even the new girl from New York knew who I was on her first day here."

"What?" I ask turning my head to him confused.

He smirks at me and says, "You called out my name without me ever properly introducing myself."

It takes a moment to think back to that day and when it clicks, I'm embarrassed by my slipup muttering, "Oh."

"It's cool though. I bet you heard some interesting facts about me." Eddie teases looking forward playing with his rings, but I can hear a hint of annoyance in his tone. Should I risk saying more than I know? I contemplate to myself.

Taking a breath and staring down at my cupcake in my hands, I tell him in a quiet voice, "Um…just that you play D&D and like metal."

"So you don't think of them as…" Eddie starts to say and then puts on a fake newscaster voice, "…satanic rituals."

I can't help but chuckle at his impression and reply, "I-I don't believe in that. My brother plays it…with his friends sometimes a-and he likes that music too."

From the corner of my eye, I watch him face me and asks, "Really now?" I just nod and in response he just says, "Good to know." There's another moment of silence before he speaks up again, "You might not want to squeeze that cupcake any tighter." Without realizing, the treat was slowly emerging from it's wrapper and I relax my grip sighing. "Want to tell me what's up?" The metalhead asks me, but then adds, "You don't have to if you don't-"

"It's my birthday." I interrupt him giving in after I contemplated whether to say something or not.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that usually a happy occasion?" He questions now curious as to why I'm acting somber.

"Y-Yeah…but…I…I'm not able to be with my family and friends…and no one here knows. So…" I tell him trailing off getting a little teary-eyed again.

"Party of one." Eddie finishes my sentence and I nod agreeing with him. Suddenly, Eddie stands up and I look over to see him searching his pockets. He pulls out a small piece of paper and then sits back down. I watch him carefully roll the paper, his tongue sticking out a little in concentration. Once done, he proudly holds up the stick of paper exclaiming, "A-ha!" I'm completely confused and Eddie notices, so he then leans over towards my direction which surprises me causing my heart to race faster than it already has been. I follow where Eddie's hand goes, and he sticks his creation on the top of the chocolate frosted dessert in the center. Quickly after, he fishes out from his pocket a lighter, flicks it on, and lights the tip of the paper. "Tah-dah." He says in a sing-song voice and explains, "Can't have a birthday without blowing out a candle."

I just stare at him smiling at me shocked and try to say something, "I-I…y-you…"

He gestures with his eyes and head towards the cupcake stating, "Uh...you should blow on it before it goes out. I don't think I have another piece of paper on me for a redo." As I hold the cupcake up higher to my face he adds, "Make a wish." Closing my eyes, I take a moment to think of what I want to wish for. I wish… I then blow out the flame on the makeshift candle and hear clapping. "Woo!" He shouts and I laugh at his silliness. Once the metalhead is done applauding, he finishes off the celebration grinning and says bowing his head, "Happy Birthday…M'lady." I feel like my heart skipped a beat in that moment.

"Th-Thanks, Eddie." I tell him and to show how grateful I am, I split the cupcake, then hand him half of it. We both devour our halves in a few bites while sitting in silence looking out at the field. The sound of the bell tolls indicating the end of the school day and we stand up from our spot. It's then that I remember our height difference when I view his tall stature. While walking to the door that the two of us came out of, Eddie jogs over to open it for me.

Once I reach him, he stops me before I go through the door to say, "Uh…I know it wasn't really how you imagined celebrating your birthday, but I hope that it was…something for you and that it helped a little."

Quickly studying his face, I can tell he really means it and I smile reassuring him, "It did. I…I really appreciate it."

We both enter the school again and before we part ways, he says, "I'll see you tomorrow in Ms. O'Donnell's."

I nod my head replying with a simple, "Okay." I turn walking away first, but I get the urge to look back, so I do. It's then I see Eddie still there watching me with a smirk and does a small salute when he notices that I turned around. I'm startled by it and spin back continuing to move forward. Robin's locker is close, so I head over to her with a bit of pep in my step. She's there gathering her things and once she spots me, her face goes from a casual smile to bewilderment.

"Alright…something definitely happened." Robin announces as I lean on the locker next to her and she goes on to make her observation, "This whole day you've been kind of moody and now suddenly you have a smile that looks permanently etched on your face. Spill it."

I sigh and feel a sense of guilt when I first start explaining, "So, I didn't tell you this earlier because I felt weird bringing it up, but…today's my birthday."

Robin's mouth immediately hangs agape and then shouts, "Oh my god! You should've told me!" Before I can reply, she then realizes something and continues, "I'm such an idiot! I saw your birthday on your ID and I totally forgot!"

 "I didn't expect you to remember after just glancing at it. It's totally fine, Robin." I tell her trying to comfort and calm down her slight frantic state.

"No it's not." She declares while slamming her locker shut and then says now pushing me down the hall, "I'm going to make Steve cover for us at work and we're going out to celebrate." Before I can even try to refuse, Robin answers, "Nope, not taking no for an answer."

We arrive at my locker so I can grab my things and while doing so, I finally speak up, "You don't have to feel completely bad about it because…I kind of…already had a mini…party?"

Taking hold of my shoulders, she spins me now curious questioning me with the tiny bit a jealousy in her voice, "With who?"

Now feeling embarrassment from the situation, I ramble, "I mean, it wasn't planned. I decided to skip last period and went out back with my cupcake to sit on the stairs. I was going to just kind of wallow in silence while shoving the dessert in my face, but then he interrupted me before I did that. He noticed I was upset, I told him it was my birthday and then he preceded to make me a candle. It was actually impressive thinking on the spot using a piece of paper and his lighter. I blew it out and then to show my thanks, I split the cupcake with him so we could both eat it. The bell rang, we part ways and before we did he said he'll see me tomorrow in Ms. O'Donnell's class. It's really not a big deal when you think about it."

"Ms. O'Donnell's cla-" Robin begins to say confused until a light bulb went off in her head realizing who I'm talking about and exclaims shaking my shoulders, "Holy shit! You were with Eddie!?"

I slap her hands off me shushing her and whisper, "Yes!" I close my locker and now talk at a normal volume, "Like I said it's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal!? This is huge!" She says still a little louder than I would like and then tells me, "He went out of his way to make you a candle for your birthday."

Raising my eyebrow at her while making our way to the exit I state, "It was just a piece of paper."

"Yeah, but it's not about the paper, it's what he did that means something." Robin replies and as we stand outside now waiting for Steve to pick us up she faces me to note, "He wanted to cheer you up and did. Plus, if it meant something to you, it's not just nothing." Before I can respond, we see Steve's car pulling up to us. "So, I'm thinking we first go to the arcade. After that, we'll stop by to visit Steve at work when he's done with his shift to grab a whole bunch of movies and we'll then all go back to my home to have ourselves a marathon." She tells me laying out her plan.

I chuckle amused by her schedule, "You can't forget the pizza and ice cream."

"Oh there's no way we can have a marathon without them." She comments like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "So, ready to have some fun?"

I smirk gesturing to a clueless Steve watching us and say, "Lead the way, Buckley."

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[iyumeu]

i can be your angle or yuor demon

summary: [takes place right after the angelic demons event] in front of you stands an angel and a demon. which would you choose?

characters featured: lucifer, mammon, leviathan (aka older brother trio)

⭒☆━━━━━━━━✿ᏊㅇꈊㅇᏊ✿━━━━━━━━☆⭒

It had been a few days since the party that had taken place in the celestial realm. Your demonic housemates were now back to their normal, devilish selves but you notice that they seemed a little... odd. Subdued, even.

Today was no different; the brothers had been quiet during dinner, either picking at their food or simply straight up not attending dinner. You had gone to bed feeling off-kilter and worried. That was it, you decided, it was time to stage an intervention. You were going to confront your demonic housemates tomorrow and they weren't going to be able to do anything about it!

With determination in your heart, you closed your eyes... and then immediately found yourself in a strange white room with...

Lucifer

After the party

> He had immediately thrown himself back into a mountain of paperwork.

> You knew that Lucifer was the embodiment of overworking but even this was too much. He hadn't been present for dinner since all of you had returned to the Devildom and if it weren't for the incredibly rare times you caught him out in the hallway, you would have come to the conclusion that he simply decided to start living in his study room

> Alas, even when he was outside he was short-tempered, snapping at anyone who was around him and was generally just a little more forceful than usual.

> There was a moment where you brushed past him in the hallway and he had grabbed your wrist, tugging you towards him. You had jumped and whirled around, startled at the sudden action, and you weren't quite sure what your expression had been like but you knew that it prompted Lucifer to immediately let go of your wrist as if he had been burnt. He then retreated back into his office, slamming the door shut without even saying a word to you.

> He had kept his distance after that and the two of you hadn't spoken to each other since.

In the white space

Two Lucifers stood before you, one clad in his angelic costume while the other wearing his demonic form.

> They seemed to be talking to one another, the Lucifer you were familiar with getting more and more agitated by the second while the Lucifer dressed in angelic garb was crossing his arms, looking at the demonic Lucifer with a placid expression on his face.

> When you step closer to them, they turn to look at you in tandem.

> "MC."

> It's strange how your name can be spoken in such different ways. Lucifer spoke your name in his usual commanding tone while the angel said it with such gentleness and cheer it gave you goosebumps.

> "Luci... fer?"

> "Yes?"

> The both of them answered together once again. It was seriously freaking you out. Were they both really Lucifer? Or was one of them a clone?

> You quickly made your way closer to them.

> Once you were closer you could see that Lucifer looked tenser than usual.

> "Where are we?" You couldn't help but glance at angel Lucifer too when you asked that question. From the corner of your eye, you see Lucifer's hand clench into a fist.

> "It doesn't matter where we are," Lucifer replied brusquely. You hadn't seen him this upset before, not even when he tried to kill you for harboring Luke in the House of Lamentation.

> "Is this how he talks to you all the time?" Instead of answering you, angel Lucifer asked you another question. It was a question that confused you. What did that have to do with anything?

> "Um... not really? He's just a little bit frustrated," you reply, eyeing the angel Lucifer warily. Something about him made you feel... something. It was a negative something. You didn't like him one bit.

> "I see." Angel Lucifer reaches out towards you. Before you can flinch back, Lucifer's hand was already painfully gripping your shoulder, tugging you to his side in an almost violent manner.

> "You are not to touch them," he said. Angel Lucifer's gaze slowly slid from you to him and you were able to see it frost over in real time.

> "Neither are you," he said, "if you're going to be so forceful. Look at them, they're hurt."

> Lucifer turned to look at you. You were frozen in the middle of rubbing at your shoulder and his eyes darkened.

> He stepped away from you.

> "You believe that everyone around you will bend to your whim," the angel said. "And if you don't, you force them to. You carry out your actions uncaring about the way it affects others and how they may think... Tell me," the angel was looking at you now, "how does it feel to live with someone so full of themselves?"

> Beside you, you can tell that Lucifer has stopped breathing. His red gaze was boring a hole through you, his wings twitching as he fought the urge to block your view of his angelic doppelganger.

> You lick your lips, gathering your thoughts. The angel too your silence as agreement and a smile spread across his face.

> "Don't you see, demon? They're afraid of you. Your overbearing, domineering treatment of them has rendered them too afraid to dare speak up in your presence."

> Lucifer flinched at the angel's words. You suddenly had a very vivid fantasy of pouncing forward and violently ripping handfuls of feathers out of the angel's wings.

> "They'll be much happier with me, don't you think?" the angel asked. You glanced at Lucifer and was absolutely shocked to see him considering the angel's words.

> "No!" The word was out of your mouth before you could even think.

> The angel raised an eyebrow. "No?"

> "No." You dug in your heels, glaring at this... oversized avian who dared to don the face of your beloved demon. Who dared to make him doubt himself like that. "No, I'm not scared of him. No, I do dare to speak up. No, I absolutely would not be happier with you!"

> You turned to Lucifer, not wanting to look at that... thing for even a second longer. He was staring at you, a rare look of surprise on his face. You stepped towards him, poking a finger at his chest.

> "You!" you started, "You may be absolutely full of yourself, but you do care! You care for Diavolo! You're always taking care of him even when it comes at the cost of your own health! You care for your brothers! You protected them when all of you first entered the Devildom and you protect them even now, even if you try to hide it. You care for me! You give me food when you notice I've been staying up late to study and you constantly ensure that my time at R.A.D. is safe and enjoyable! Do you think I don't notice this? Do you think no one notices this? Why are you believing that thing's lies?!"

> With every jab of your finger, Lucifer's eyes grow wider.

> "And you!" You whirled around to glare at the angel. "You're sitting there running your mouth when you're the one who's acting so full of yourself! I'm sick of your holier than thou attitude! Lucifer is caring, he is thoughtful, and he is so much more than what you accuse him of!” You pause for a moment to take a breath. The angel is examining you like you were a particularly interesting specimen slotted under a microscope. You’ve reached your limit. It was time to resort to violence.

> You were stopped before your feet left the ground by a pair of arms wrapping around your shoulders. It was soon followed by a curtain of dark feathers, blocking the angel from your sight, and you from his.

> “That’s enough,” Lucifer said. His voice was filled with the same confidence and pride that you know and love. “That thing is not worth your time.” A pause and then, softly, almost inaudibly, “Thank you.”

> And then,

> You wake up.

After the dream

> You were happy to see that Lucifer was no longer locking himself up his office again.

> He was also, strangely, a little more affectionate to you?

> He was also around a lot more often; not hovering per se, but just... there. A comforting presence, him by your side.

> His texts to you are more often now too.

> You start receiving gifts from him, packaged and pretty hanging on your doorknob, charmed with a powerful spell that curses everyone but you if they touch it. He still pretends he doesn't send them but you know and he knows you know.

> One day, over a dinner at the Ristorante Six, he'll finally tell you, in words, that he wants you to stay by his side; but until then, you enjoy his non-verbal affirmations of love.

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━[ᓀ˵◇˵ᓂ]━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

Mammon

After the party

> He became a shut in on par with Leviathan.

> However you notice that he has a lot of akuzon deliveries brought to his door, definitely more than what he could afford.

> When you try to talk to him he only shouts at you from behind his door. When you try to enter, you almost get squashed by the amount of piled up akuzon boxes and haphazardly piled up items.

> You knew Mammon was inside but you couldn't see him at all. You'd genuinely think that he got suffocated under the mess of his purchases if he hadn't been talking to you through the mess.

> But he still refused to come out to see you and you didn't know how to navigate his room, so you decided to leave him be for now.

In the white space

> There were two Mammons in front of you, one dressed in his angelic costume and the other in his demonic form. They seemed to be discussing something but you paid them no mind.

> Mammon had been your reliable protector since the start of your time in the Devildom and hence you had grown to associate safety with his presence.

> That was why you literally all but teleported to his side when you caught sight of him.

> However, the words coming out of the angel made you freeze in your tracks.

> "Shameless, greedy scum," the angel said. Mammon's body language finally registered in your head. Slightly hunched over, head turned to a side, wings curling in on himself, fists clenched and shaking... You hadn't seen him this bad before.

> "You know that they're too good for you, but you can't let them go. You'd rather chain them to you forever rather than allow them happiness. Your greed truly knows no bounds, even for someone you lo—"

> You skitter to a stop between the two. It was unnerving how much he looked like Mammon. Apart from the attire, the only difference you could tell was his eyes; Mammon's eyes were open and expressive while the angel's eyes did not give away his emotions at all. Controlled, you would call them.

> "MC," the angel greeted you with a smile.

> "MC, what're you doing here?!" In contrast to the angel, Mammon seemed aghast to see you here.

> "You want their attention and affection but you are reluctant to give yours," the angel said. "Greedy, greedy, greedy. The Avatar of Greed, do you really think you're worthy enough to stand by their side?"

> Oh, the angel was talking about you.

> Well if you weren't already angry before, you were now.

> You turn to look at Mammon only to see him shaking slightly. He refused to meet your eyes.

> "You actually hate it, don't you?" the angel said. The angel was looking at you now. "How unreliable he is. How selfish he is, always putting his own desires and needs above others. A nightmare to live with, much less be with."

> With every word out of the angel's mouth, you see Mammon flinch. You reach out to soothe him but he flinches away from you. He looked like he regretted it the moment he did it, but he had no chance to apologize before the stupid angel was opening their mouth to yap on.

> "How can anyone love something like him, much less you?" the angel asked and. Boy.

> You whirled around and threw a punch at the angel's face. It barely injured the angel and left you with a hurting fist, but the shock on the angel's face was worth it.

> "I love him," you declared loudly. "And so do his brothers."

> Mammon was staring at you with wide eyes and an open mouth.

> "And the things you've said? Utter horseshit. Mammon is one of most selfless demons I know." No one as powerful as him would allow himself to be a punching bag for his entire family without retaliation, no one but him. Mammon was the demon with the highest control, with the softest heart, and it showed with the interactions he had with his brothers... and you.

> He rarely said anything affectionate towards you, and the times he did were often rushed and unintelligible, but he didn't have to. Not when his love and affection shone through with every action he made.

> He was always giving love, only rarely ever receiving, And he never complained about it.

> And so hearing this angel spout such bullshit about Mammon, and Mammon believing it, really made you experience something.

> That something was an attempt to beat up the angel in front of you.

> You were quickly pulled off the angel, Mammon holding you tightly and firmly in his arms and you tried to continue with your punches and kicks.

> "That's enough." It was a rare occasion that his voice was so serious and it immediately calmed you down. Mammon shifted you to a more comfortable hold but did not let you go. "Ya ain't gonna hurt me with those dumb words," he told the angel, puffing out his chest. "I'm the great Mammon! I ain't gonna listen to your bullshit!"

> Warmth blossomed in your heart as you hear Mammon regain his confidence.

> "And MC is mine! No one's worthy of them but that doesn't mean I won't—"

> You wake up.

After the dream

> Mammon finally exited his room and the first person he went to was you.

> He swooped you up in a big hug, abruptly waking you from your slumber.

> He started becoming more honest and less shy as well, no longer putting on airs. His affection for you was as clear as day. It's a work in progress but Mammon is still able to convey his affection even if he ends up screaming it with a red face.

> You notice that he's been taking up more responsibility lately, even getting a steady part time job. He uses the money to take you out on nice dates and buy you nice gifts.

> Also has become even clingier, but it's not like you're going to complain. ⭒☆━━━━━━━━━⸜₍๑•⌔•๑ ₎⸝━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

Leviathan

After the party

> Leviathan had been making some headway in getting more comfortable in his own skin, cutting down on insults to himself. This party set him back a thousand years.

> Every word out of his mouth was self-derogatory and full of hate.

> He refused to answer your texts.

> He never left his room, even for mealtimes.

> In fact he didn't eat at all? Which was concerning. You even tried to bribe him with Ruri-chan, but all it resulted was a crash and a faint sob.

> It was after that that you decided to leave him be for a while.

In the white space

> There was nothing in the white space except a pond and Leviathan in his angel costume.

> Recalling Leviathan's reaction to you before, you carefully approached him and called out his name. To your surprise, he turned to look at you with a smile on his face.

> You were delighted at first but the delight quickly drained away when you recognized the bright but bland smile on his face, along with his calm, placid eyes.

> It was the Leviathan from the party looking at you now, not the Leviathan you were missing.

> "MC!" he said cheerily. "I'm so glad you're here!"

> "...hello." He didn't seem to noticed that you were being subdued, quickly stepping forward to grab your hands. You tried to suppress your flinch, fearing that Leviathan was actually in there somewhere. You scanned his body for the brainwash bangle but did not find it. Worry started to gnaw at your heart. How were you going to break this curse if you couldn't find its anchor?

> "I missed you," angel Leviathan continued. "Sorry for avoiding you, I was just throwing a temper tantrum. I won't be doing that again. As I've said before, I'll be giving up on anime, manga, and the like to forge closer connections with my brothers... and of course with you."

> You step back. The angel follows.

> "I was weak before, a no-good shut-in loser who'd rather lose himself in the 2D world rather than face reality." Unlike before, the words were spoken without an ounce of shame or even emotion. It was like angel Leviathan was stating facts rather than belittling himself. Somehow, that bothered you more.

> "You're not weak," you spoke. "You're not any of those at all. You've been putting in a lot of effort lately, and besides being interested in anime isn't a weakness. You're passionate about what you like and unafraid of showing it. Isn't that a strength?"

> Angel Leviathan shrugged, brushing your words aside. It was incredibly uncharacteristic of him.

> "I suppose," he said. "Either way, don't you prefer me like this? Outspoken, confident, unafraid? I can tell you how I feel. I love you, MC. Don't you love me?"

> There was something wrong. A nagging feeling in your heart had been present ever since you entered this strange place and right now it merely grew stronger.

> "Not like this," you said, pulling your hand away from his. "There's something wrong with you right now, Levi, you're not in your right mind."

> "I'm in my right mind. In fact, I can safely say that I've never been better. Say you love me, MC."

> Leviathan would never push you like this. He had always respected your boundaries, knowing how unpleasant it was like to have his own constantly prodded and pushed.

> "You're not Levi," you realized. Immediately you looked around, quickly moving away from angel Leviathan. "Where is he? What have you done to him?"

> Angel Leviathan looked so confused for a moment that you almost believed him. But then his expression turned to derision and your blood ran cold.

> "Why do you care about that disgusting otaku anyway? Aren't I better? Why don't you choose me?"

> The angel must have been out of his fucking mind if he thought that you were going to choose him after all this.

> You took another step back and—

> You plunge into the lake, the breath knocked out of you by the impact. Just as you started to panic, your eyes catch sight of something that made you freeze.

> There was Leviathan, the Leviathan you knew and loved, in his demon form staring back at you with wide eyes.

> What the fuck.

> Had he been here the entire time?!

> Instead of you, now Leviathan was the one panicking. He grabbed you and swam quickly to the surface, bringing you out of the lake. You gasped for air once you breached the surface, Leviathan's arm supporting you and keeping you upright.

> "Levi!" you said once you caught your breath. "Where were you? Why didn't you come up?"

> Leviathan was not looking at you. Once he had placed you back onto the shore, he suck back down into the water until only his eyes and the top of his head were visible. You put the pieces together.

> "...were you hiding?"

> "Of course that coward was hiding." Oh god. The angel was still not done. Now that you knew for a fact that he wasn't Leviathan, you felt an incandescent rage start boiling within you. You tamp it down. For now. "He didn't want to face the idea that you might choose me over him."

> Choosing again. It seemed important.

> "It's okay if you choose him instead," Leviathan was clearly lying through his teeth. "If... If it makes you happy. Who would want to be with a loser otaku like me who can't even tell the person he loves that he wants to hold their hand? Much less that he loves them?"

> Your heart was breaking and you pushed yourself into the water again. Leviathan yelped in surprise and quickly swam forward to catch you. You took the opportunity to put your hands on either side of his face.

> "Levi, there's no way I'd choose anyone over you," you told him. "You are my Lord of the Shadows and no one else can take your place."

> You feel Leviathan's cheeks heat up under your palms.

> "Do you mean it?" It was said in a whisper but you managed to catch it. You nod and a brilliant smile spread across his face.

> He looked up at the angel and maneuvered you around so that he was in between you and the angel. His tail had found its way to you and it was now curling around you in a possessive manner you had long grown familiar with.

> "MC is m... MC is my Henry! Not yours!" Leviathan declared. His tail squeezed a little tighter but you still felt no discomfort. "And I am their Lord of the Shadows. I'll protect them, so there's no way you'll ever get your hands on them!"

> You tried to cheer Leviathan on but then,

> You wake up.

After the dream

> Leviathan sent you a message to meet him in his room and you went there immediately. There, he apologized for ignoring you, saying that he hadn't been feeling well but was better now.

> The tip of his tail was subconsciously curled around your ankle but you didn't point it out to him, not wanting him to be self-conscious.

> After that you notice that Leviathan was a lot more open with his words. He still stuttered and turned red, but he was trying. Even if he ended up running away afterwards sometimes.

> Soon, he even grew brave enough to ask you to h*ld his h*nd! Once the first barrier had been breached, however, the two of you started holding hands all the time.

> If his hands were busy with gaming, expect his tail to seek you out.

> One day, he'll muster up the courage to tell you how he feels. But until then, you're happy to wait. ⭒☆━━━━━━～>º˵)ニニニニ>━━━━━━☆⭒

[write-orflight]

The Fraction of Innocence.

**Gif Not Mine**

Anon Requested: 10, 16, and 25 for the smutty prompts thing!!!

10: “were you just touching yourself?” ‘yeah, what are you donna do about it?’

16: “the only way you are gonna get off is on my thigh.”

25: “she may be all lollipops and candy bars, but I bet behind closed doors she’s hand cuffs and gags.”

Pairings: SpencerXReader

Rating: M, (This is very explicit.)

Words: 4K

Warnings: NSFW!!! 18+ (Dom!Spencer, BDSM overtones, sexual conduct, fingering, bondage, etc.)

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary: Spencer thinks Y/N is an innocent, naive girl until a case reveals her extracurricular activities. 

Spencer had been back from jail for 2 months when he first met her. 

At first he didn’t think anything of her, other than the faint smell of vanilla and daisy as she walked past him in the bullpen and the bright smile that seemed to take up half her face. She was carrying files close to her chest like a schoolgirl late to class and the skirt of her white dress bellowed softly behind her as she made her way to Emily’s office.  

“Who is that?” He had asked. 

Luke looked up to where Spencer’s gaze was. “Oh, that’s Y/N, she's a tech analyst helping Penelope out right now. She’s sweet, you’ll like her.”  

It doesn’t take Spencer long after that to decide he, in fact, does not like you. There was nothing wrong with you. Luke was right, you were sweet, almost sickeningly so. It was like you had no concept of reality. You lived in this world of all sunshine and good things despite the horror that crossed your screen daily. And while Penelope was the same, she at the very least knew how bad the world could be and chose to see the good in it. You didn’t, it was like you’d never had a single bad thing happen to you. And Spencer, who had been dealt the bad hand so many times in life hated that. 

It also didn’t help that you were gorgeous too. You looked like an artist sculpted you himself to make the perfect woman. Real People weren’t supposed to look like that. Real people were supposed to have flaws and blisters. Real people were supposed to look tired so early in the morning not fully awake and smiling while handing everyone in the office a coffee. He didn’t understand how you could be real.   

“Here you go, Spencer. Americano lots of sugar.” You said, placing the coffee on his desk. 

“Thank you.” He mumbles. 

“We have a case, by the way.” You giggle, going off to hand Luke his coffee before walking away to the conference room. Spencer was barely able to keep his eye roll at bay. 

Luke sees that and laughs, clapping Spencer on the back. “Come on, kid. Play nice.” 

“She’s giggling about a murder case.” Spencer grumbles before following him into the conference room. 

“3 women have been murdered in Queens. Judging by the scars, they were all bound and strangled before finally being dumped in an alley.” Garcia says, as she goes through the slides, showing the crime scenes. “Police need our help finding the connection between these three women because right now, it looks like there is none.” 

“I’d say.” Tara speaks up. “We have a waitress/student, a doctor, and a paralegal. All living in different areas of the city with virtually no reason to interact.” 

Spencer looks down at his file, examining the picture when he notices something. Just as he opens his mouth to say something, you clear your throat.  

“Umm, Emily?” You say from your seat right across from Spencer. Emily looks up inquisitively at you. “I think I know what connects them.” 

“What’s that, Y/N?” Emily asks, raising a brow at her.  

You clear your throat again. “Victim #2, Rebecca Belfront, has a Padlock collar necklace on in her second picture. That’s typically used to indicate she’s a submissive with a committed dominant partner. But she wasn’t wearing it when her body was found which makes me think that that relationship recently ended. That made me look at the marks on their arms. While there are some new ones from the murders, they all have faded marks around the wrist and body as well. Leads me to believe the bounding was er-... consensual. We should probably look into New York’s BDSM scene.” You close, smiling awkwardly. 

Spencer looks at you in shock. He, of course, had come to the same conclusion you did and had been about to say that but he, at least, knew why he knew that. Why did you know that? 

Emily hummed thoughtfully. “It’s worth looking into. Do you mind coming to NY with us? Your insight might be needed.” 

You look kind of shocked at that but nod. “Of course, whatever I can do to help.” You say, softly. 

“Great, Wheels up in 30.” She says, getting up, effectively ending the meet. Spencer watches you speed after her, files in hand to ask some more questions. Spencer’s walking back to his desk when Luke catches up with him. 

“Y/N has a dark side. Who knew?” He says, smirking. 

“Probably not.” Spencer muses. “She could’ve just known that. I mean, I  just know stuff sometimes too.” 

“Nah, I don’t think so. Her body language gave her away. She was flushing and stuttering sure, but she was confident in what she was saying. Almost as if, she was speaking from experience.” Luke laughs. “She may be all lollipops and candy bars here, but I bet behind closed doors, she’s handcuffs and gags.”  

Spencer hums. “Maybe.” He says looking up to watch you walk back across the catwalk from Prentiss’ office. Luke was right though, your body language did give you completely away that you were talking from experience. Spencer couldn’t help but wonder just how much. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

When you arrive in New York, You head straight from the jet to the Police Station in Queens. You fiddle with your thumbs a bit, you are nervous. 

“You ok?” Spencer says, from his spot in front of the bulletin board he was setting up. You were supposed to be helping him but you knew Spencer was particular about some things so you let him do it. In fact, there were a lot of things you’d let Spencer do. With you, to you, you weren’t picky. The man was gorgeous enough to make you nervous. With his lean muscles, long, fluffy hair, and large hands, he looked like something that walked right out of a wet dream of yours. Which sometimes, he was just that. You weren’t stupid though, you knew Spencer didn’t think of you that way. In fact, you didn’t think Spencer thought of you in any way. He seemed to ignore you anyway he could. 

You look up from your laptop. “Oh yea, I’m fine. I’m just...nervous. I’ve never been in the field.” 

“Chances are you won’t be, Emily will probably keep you in the Station if she can help it.” Spencer provides. 

“I know, it’s just-- you know what I mean.” You say, Spencer nods before returning to the bulletin board. You stand to look at the map with him. “So, from what I was able to find there’s only 3 BDSM clubs in Queens but there’s only one in the middle of where the three women were found. Place called Cat’s Cradle.” 

Spencer hums. “How complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is.” You look up at the man, recognizing the quote.  

“There is love enough in this world for everybody, if people will just look.” You say back, shrugging. 

“You read Vonnegut?” He asks. 

“You said that like you’re more surprised that I can read than what I read being Vonnegut.” You say, Spencer shrugs not even denying it. God, he was such a dick sometimes. A hot dick, but a dick nonetheless. 

The two of you turn when you hear a knock at the door to see the lead detective coming in to check on you guys. “Just wanted to see how things were coming along. Also see if you guys needed anything?” Though he only directed the question at you with a sly smirk on his face. Men were so obvious sometimes. 

“Nope, we’re fine.” You smile although you didn’t want to. “We’ve narrowed down to a couple BDSM clubs so hopefully we’ll catch our guy soon.” 

“Wait, you think these girls were…” He trails off. You nod, knowing what he was thinking. “Well, it probably serves them right.” 

“Excuse me?” You say. 

“Listen, I know what kind of girls go into those kinds of clubs. If they want to be sexual deviants, they can’t be surprised when shit like this happens to them.” He gestures to the board. 

“Actually more women are into Dominant/Submissive as well as BDSM relationships than you would think, statistically 85%.” Spencer cuts him off. “These clubs are just commonplace for them to meet like minded people just like you would do in any other club and they should be put on trial after their deaths for trusting the wrong person. If you don’t mind, we’d like to get back to work, Detective.” He says, turning back towards the board. The man nods and leaves shortly after that. 

“Thank you.” You say, softly. 

“What for?” Spencer asks. 

“Come on, I work with profilers and I’m not stupid. I know you guys know about me so thank you for defending me just now.” 

“I wasn’t defending you.” Spencer says. “He was making inappropriate comments about victims and we don’t need that outdated way of thinking working on this case. Besides…” He says, eyes flickering down to your lips and back to your eyes. “You’re not the only one with… unconventional extracurriculars.” He turns and walks out after that leaving you watching after him. 

What? 

------------------------------------------------------------------

 After delivering the profile, you find the Unsub, a man named Ivan Parke. The only thing left to do was find the best way to snuff him out. When the team is discussing the next best course of action. It’s then Luke comes up with the idea. 

“We should send Y/N undercover.” He says. “She knows the profile and knows the most about the scene.” 

Emily nods. “Is that something you’re comfortable with, Y/N.” 

You look up. “Oh, um yea. I’d have to find a different outfit but you have to send someone with me.” You say, everyone looks at you confused so you sigh and explain yourself. “If you send me into a club like this, in a foreign place with no Dom, the Unsub isn’t going to be my only worry. Someone’s going to have to play my dominant.”   

“I’ll do it.” Spencer speaks up. Your eyes widened, you were not expecting Spencer to agree to it, you assumed you’d be stuck with Luke. Now you’re going to have to spend the night with the man you’d been crushing on since you started working with the BAU as his submissive. Like that wasn’t a dream come true. 

“Great.” Emily says, dismissing everyone and handing you an expense credit card for an outfit. You take it and leave immediately, ignoring the sly look Spencer gives you. 

You ended with a short, low-cut black leather dress with tank-like sleeves that showed off your curves and left very little to the imagination. As well as a clear pair of platform heels. You pulled your hair back into a sleek ponytail and you topped the look with your own personal leather choker with a large circle knob in the center. It was one of your favorite pieces to wear though you never really got a chance to wear it unless you were going to clubs, which you didn’t do as often these days. It was an expensive piece sure, but so worth it when you got to wear it. You were doing your makeup a little darker then you usually do in the bathroom when Spencer comes in. 

“Is this how you typically look on the weekends?” He asks, standing behind you in the mirror. You look up to look him in the eyes through it. 

“If I have the time.” You shrug. 

“It’s very different. You’re very different from how I thought you were.” 

“And how did you think I was, Spencer?”

“Naive...innocent.”   

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have assumed anything about me.” You say, turning towards the man. 

“Maybe you’re right… That’s an expensive piece.” He points out pointing to your choker. “Emily’s going to have fun explaining that at the next budgetary hearing.” 

“I didn’t buy it today.” You explain. “It’s mine.” 

Spencer hums for a moment before lifting his hand to turn your jaw, examining the piece. You can’t help the way your breath hitches at the contact. Spencer was already so close to you and now he was touching you, it was already starting to be too much. Soon, Spencer is hooking two fingers into the circle knob of your choker and he yanks it. Involuntarily, a whimper falls from your lips, prompting a smirk from the man across from you. 

“Tonight’s going to be fun.” He says before leaving you in the bathroom in a state of shock. 

-------------------------------------------------------- 

 After getting your comms set up by Luke, who tried to avert his eyes from your frame as much as possible, you and Spencer walk into the Cat’s Cradle. Typically you didn’t like the club scene, but you sometimes liked to venture out when looking for a new partner. Cat’s Cradle was definitely different than the other places you had been. Sure it still had the private rooms and the main stage where a scene was happening in front of you but it was a lot more laid back than the ones you went to in DC. Spencer was really enjoying his role too. Probably hamming it up too much because he knew there was a part of you that actually wanted him to. In the end, finding Ivan Parke was easy. He took the bait almost instantly and you were arresting him just as fast. 

“Great work tonight guys.” Emily says, when you reach the hotel lobby. “Jet’s leaving at 7AM so make sure to get some rest.” She says, dismissing you. 

Now begged a tricky situation because you had almost forgotten you and Spencer were rooming together. As you walked back to the room together the air was thick but both of you were silent. The tension had been building between the two of you since he yanked your choker in the station bathroom. You knew it was a matter of time. The dam had to break. 

“You can shower first.” Spencer says. You nod, taking off your choker and grabbing clothes before taking solace in the bathroom. You wanted Spencer and you knew you needed to expedite this. After a much needed shower, you change into your pajama shorts and tank combo. Spencer steps into the shower almost as soon as you leave it. It’s then that you think of the perfect plan. You lay on the bed and spread your legs before slipping a hand down your shorts. You tease yourself at first, rubbing your clit through your underwear while you thought about the events of the night. How Spencer had been so authoritative. How his hand slid to the small of your back and sometimes ghosted your ass as the two of you walked around the club. How he had been so close in the bathroom. The way he yanked you closer. A small moan escaped you as you slid your hand in your underwear. Soon you hear the bathroom door open. Spencer stops short, watching you before leaning on the frame. 

“Were you just touching yourself?”

“Yes.” You answer. “Are you gonna to do something about it?” 

“Should I? Instead of telling me what you want you decide to act like a brat and do this.” 

Spencer moves closer to the bed but doesn’t do anything, just continues to watch you so you decide to give him a show. Moaning loudly as you slide a digit inside of you. Spencer looks at you with hooded eyes. You can’t help the small laugh that leaves you. 

“I think you’re going to give me what I want.” You say, smirking. 

“And why’s that?” He says. 

“You’re already weak.” You say. 

“I’m weak, pretty girl?” He asks, incredulously. Before you know it, he’s ripping your hand out of your pants and crowding in the space between your legs forcing you to sit up and look at him. “You’re in here touching yourself to the thought of me like a horny teenager and I’m the one who’s weak? Ok.”  He sits back and pulls you by your hips to sit on top of his lap, your legs straddling one of his thighs. “The only way you’re getting off is on my thigh, ok?” He tells you, starting to move your hips. You moan, nodding your head as the friction makes its way through your core. Spencer lifts your shirt off you and smirks when his eyes land on your bare breast. He leans forward to catch your left nipple in his mouth. Your back arches as you grind harder against his thigh. Your hands fly up to start unbuttoning his shirt when he stops you. 

“Did I say you could touch yet, princess?”  He asks. 

“N-No, sir.” You stutter. 

“Then keep your hands to yourself.” He says, putting your hands back to your side. He does indulge you by taking his shirt off himself. But that doesn’t help you keep your hands to yourself. You saw the lean muscle and craved to mark it up with your nails. Your hands go up to touch him again but he stops you. 

“If I have to ask you again, I’m going to tie you up, Princess. Just be good, baby.” 

You were already close before but now with Spencer’s hands and mouth everywhere and constant friction on your sex it was damn near pushing you off the edge. 

“I’m gonna come.” You tell him, he grips your hips tighter, lifting his leg slightly so he was only rubbing against your clit. That makes you moan out loudly. 

“Go ahead, Princess. Cum for me.” He says, and that was all you needed to fall right over the edge. Your legs shake and convulse as Spencer grips your hips help you ride it out.  Soon you come down panting and he’s kissing into your neck. He pulls back and grips your jaw. 

“Still think I’m weak, Princess?”  He asks. 

You knew it was unwise. In fact, you tried to stop yourself before you did it but it was too late. You reared your hand back and slapped Spencer across the cheek. Not hard enough to be seen as anything malicious but sharp enough to throw him off, like he couldn’t believe you had done it.  

“Yes I do.” You say looking him in the eyes after. Something like a switch went off because there was no other way to describe the look he gave you other than feral and fully primitive. He pushes you off him. 

“Get on your hands and knees, now.” He says, menacingly. You scramble and run to get into the position. Once in, Spencer forces your knees further apart. He angrily takes his belt off his pants before fashioning them into a makeshift cuff and pulling your wrist so they’re tied behind your back, leaving you face down into the mattress. He slides your shorts and underwear off in one go. You yelp loudly when the first slap comes to your behind. When the second and third slap comes, you try to squeeze your legs together to get some form of friction but Spencer forces your knees further apart. You moan out when you feel a digit slide against your folds. You try to push back on it but Spencer holds your hips in place. 

“P-Please.” you stutter. 

“What do you want, Princess?” He says, sliding a second digit inside you making you cry out more. 

“Please, fuck me, Spencer.” You say, and you really didn’t have to ask twice because almost as soon as you ask Spencer’s hands leave you to finish unbuckling his pants. There’s a brief moment of calm, so calm that you almost think Spencer wasn’t going to give you what you want but that calm is interrupted by Spencer slamming into, no warning. You scream out but that’s only rewarded with your head being shoved more into the mattress to muffle your cries. Spencer’s hands are pulling on your cuffs so he is almost impossibly deep inside you. You moans start to get louder and louder. Suddenly, Spencer is pulling you up so you’re both sitting up, your back against his chest. One of his hands slides to grip around your neck while the other is moving to circle your clit. The hand around your neck tilts your jaw back so you’re looking up at the man behind you. 

“Fuck, you feel so good. Open your mouth, Princess.” He orders, which you do instantly sticking your tongue out. Spencer leans forward and spits into your waiting mouth before locking his mouth with yours. His hand squeezes your neck tighter as you moan into his mouth as he starts fucking you faster, his dick hitting your g-spot almost every thrust. It’s not long before you’re just babbling, not even able to string a coherent sentence together. 

“You gonna come for me, Princess?” He asks. You nod, moaning loudly. At this point, you knew there was no way the person in the room next to you guys didn’t hear you. You could only hope that it wasn’t one of the team. “Go ahead for me, baby. Be a good girl and come on my cock.” After that, it doesn’t take long before you’re falling over the edge, shaking all the while. Spencer fucks you through it before tightening his grip on your hips to bend you back forwards so your face is back on the mattress. He fucks you hard and fast before falling over the edge himself, moaning your name. 

The two of you say nothing as he unties you. When he does, you instantly flop down on your back, breathing heavily. Spencer wordlessly gets up and goes to the bathroom. For a moment you think he’s just leaving you like this, that you were foolish to think Spencer cared anything about you but in that moment he comes back with a wet cloth and ointment. He says nothing as he wipes between your legs before tossing the towel aside. You watch him with a smirk on your face as he rubs the ointment on the red marks the red cuffs made on you. 

He looks you in the eye. “What, Y/N?” 

“What happened to Princess?” You say, Spencer just looks at you with a bored expression which only makes you smile more. “Now’s probably a good time for you to ask me to dinner.” 

Spencer chuckles lightly at that. “You don’t want to go to dinner with me.” 

“I’m almost positive I do. Why would you say that?” You ask. 

Spencer looks you in the eyes at that moment. “I’m not-Y/N, I’m not like you.” 

“Like me?” 

“I’m not able to be cheery and smiley. I can’t float into rooms. I can’t be happy like you are, too much has happened to me. You deserve someone happy.” 

“Spencer.” You say, looking him in the eyes. “You are not broken. You can be happy, it’s going to take time sure but I’m willing to be with you through that. If you want that.” You say. 

Spencer nods. “Ok, Y/N.” he smiles. 

“So….?” 

He rolls his eyes at that. “What’re you doing next sunday?” 

You smile, brightly. “Absolutely nothing.”    

Perm. Taglist: @moonshinerbynight​ @crimeshowtrash​

[soullessjack]

so before I conk out for the night I wanna try and explain all the more complicated stuff with baby!jack and like, how exactly it is more complicated, because not only do I think my own temper tends to make me address it very accusingly and in bad-faith, but also it’s just important to know in the long run. I really hope this is actually worth it because I am sadly very used to wasting my words on people who do not want to listen and also because I’m sleepy and delaying it to make this.

•••

first and foremost, jack being autistic was not something anybody in the show was planning or intending for his character. it wasn’t something alcal had in his head to portray jack and it wasn’t something he was directed to portray. jack is very much a case of what I call accidental autism, or having autism coding; all of the traits that were meant to indicate that he’s a supernatural being wound up aligning very well with autistic traits (as is the case with many nonhuman characters like robots or aliens). then, autistic people in the fandom pointed it out and made it a popular headcanon, which was then brought up to alcal at a convention and basically confirmed/canonized from there.

i wasn’t on tumblr in 2017 (unless you count opening link tabs from other websites) so I wasn’t “there” for babyjack, but you don’t really have to be there to get it. guy is chronologically three years old but an adult in every other way because supernatural creature logic, people wonder “hey what if he was his actual age.” and it’s cute for a little bit, it’s a chance for the poor heavily traumatized guy to catch a break. you see the appeal of that sort of content. nobody’s doing it with bad intentions or even the remotest idea of jack being autistic.

but even though I wasn’t on tumblr for jacks appearance on the show, again I did have minor access to tumblr posts via Pinterest and links, so I could see the “discussions” and whatever. and let me tell you. I was thirteen years old. in eighth grade. when he showed up. and even then I noticed this .. pattern? in the fanart and the talk and all and I remember specifically thinking “yeah I get it he’s baby, but can we actually talk about him” because literally nobody as far as I could see was doing it.

that was six-almost-seven years ago. I am now 19 years old, almost two years graduated from high school, and save for a few blogs (bless u for your work folks), there is still a shocking amount of ppl who just Do Not think about jack with any sort of nuance or complexity. who don’t even engage w his character unless he’s a babyI also didn’t keep up with babyjack cuz it never appealed to me in the first place, But as i got more engrossed in the fandom i saw that it pretty much became the only content being made for jacks character. no in depth discussion or actual canon fanart or anything like that for jack unless u go to a very tiny cobwebby corner of the fandom basically.

•••

if you’re wondering how this comes back to jack being autistic, don’t worry. this is the introduction to that topic. so reiterating the first two things:

in 2017 jack is immediately clocked as precious baby smol bean must protecc material and his whole age situation + all the trauma he basically speedruns leads to au’s where he matches his chronological age. poor boy never stood a chance at being examined critically as a complex person.

(also this is not a time-lined post but it’s very important to add 2017 to gauge the span of this content and also the internet fandom culture of that era).

somewhere down the line autistic fans pick up on Jack’s traits and connect it to our own traits. hashtag autistic jack kline is real and eventually it reaches the silly actor man alcal and the long short of his answer is “representation and having that kind of connection is important so if you think he’s autistic then he’s autistic.” canon by destiel rules basically

However, the entire time that jack is being recognized as autistic and praised/appreciated as representation, people are still going strong with baby!jack content, so strong in fact that it’s insisted as actual canon by some. and I kind of get it. they’re two lil headcanon niches and aren’t gonna cross paths a whole lot. but they still do because it’s the same character and people are sort of starting to connect the dots that Hey This Is Kind Of Weird. autism gang notices that baby gang’s reasoning for Jack being a baby (besides the age) is just his autistic traits. not great! not fun! people start making tiny criticisms of it here and there.

and of course there’s people in the fandom who want to Fuck The Guy and that totally does not pour gasoline on the fire when the discourse is about whether or not the Guy In Question is a mentally stunted large child or just a really autistic teenager.

.

I can’t finish this post I’m sorry I am Not going to bed at 3am again. TLDR every criticism is ignored and the babyjack people keep doing their thang and the really really annoying ones insist it’s canon and call u a pedophile if u want to fuck the guy and just refuse to really acknowledge that they are being ableist at the point in time after he is established to be autistic and also there’s multiple points in the show that literally make it so obvious he’s an adult but no. Ignore whatever u want to pretend he’s a baby.

TLDR again accidentally autistic character creates accidental ableism that people keep double downing on and NOW the general problem is that they are doubling down.

lastly. a LOT of you really and truly need to reconsider why the only way you are willing or able to engage with an autistic teenager character is if they are an infant with absolutely no semblance of personality or development from the actual show AND being specifically depicted this way in order to create the idea of your ship or found family being domestic AND you continuously ignore criticisms of it by autistic people who are telling you it is harmful and rooted in some bad shit. you really really truly genuinely no exaggeration really need to do some thinking about why the fuck you’re doing all that. Goodnight everybody

[1111jenx]

Sorry to ruin the mood but what placements in a chart indicate anxiety and Depression? It’s been difficult lately

Hi there,

Before answering you question, I feel that it's a need to embrace my cancer sun and give you a virtual hug🥺 Things will get better b, get the help you need and know that even me, a rando on tumblr who writes astrology notes got ur back:) I won't make you wait longer, lets talk astrology and mental health.

Awareness Astro

—Anxiety&Depression🫂

part 1

Hey guys, I think its important before we move on to point out that having these placements which I'll be discussing do not mean that you definitely have anxiety or depression, it just means that from my limited observation and personal studies, these people with the listed placements are more prone to having issues with their mental health. However, I must let you guys know that I'm not a professional and in no place should you guys take my observations to heart, you can read it and let me know what you think though i'd love a discussion:)! Please receive immediate medical attention if you think your mental health is in danger, it is just as important as your physical body

water suns/moons with air mercury/ascendant or air dominant chart = contradicting energy. are very prone to rationalize their feelings. I notice that most water suns/moons have a harder time opening up to people and if they have an air mercury( mercury = minds, thinking, thoughts, intellecys ) they are very prone to rationalize and finding flaws in their own feelings. a true battle of the head and the heart. obsessive but hate that they are. very anxious people and intense people but they lack the ability to express it well since they're used to a different energy. for instance, pisces sun/moon with aquarius mercury are very complex and sensitive people but they are so objective, even with their own feelings and this in turns, create a resentment in them, fearing a part of themself and create a storm of anxiety in them as they interact with people, fearful of letting others in or not being able to express what they truly feel.

air sun/moon with dominant water charts or water mercury= their goals and intellect output differ from one another. simply put, extremely deep people yet will never let others in. unless they have some good aspects to balance this out, if not, they will shut everyone out and sink in their dark minds, letting the negativity consume them. they feel that they're letting themselves down and hate that they can not live up to even their own standards. very very prone to panic attacks from my observations, especially if theres cancer energy or libra energy present. rly hate oversharing but can not help it sometimes:(

capricorn moons= the OG villain. they are so used to be perceived by others as heartless even thougj they're not, they have a harder time relating to others emotions but that does not mean that they don't feel any. practically tought themselves everything they know. deal with a lot of bizarre stuff that most people are not even aware of. tend to cut off people when they feel threatened. depression and depressive episodes, feelings unloved and unworthy are so common. take failure personally so losing something or inability to achieve their goals will result in breaking down and detachment.

sun square moon, sun opposite moon: people don't talk a lot about this but the sun rules over our brain, therefore, any damaging sun sign especially to pluto, saturn or chiron need to be examined. very much prone to panic attacks and have their moments lacking self worth.

sun in 6H, 12H, 10H, 3H: super neurotic energy if there's a lot of harsh aspects (tight orbs or aspecting any other dominant planet)

moon in 6th house: escapism. extremely negative and need a lot of assurance. prone to expect the worst. usually have a very bad health or if they work they may never feel they're good enough and can slip into suddens anxious moment.

saturn in 1H, 3H, 4H, 7H and 12H

mercury in pisces or cancer= scattered yet idealistic thoughts, thoughts which they find it hard for others to understand. tendency to take everything personal and to heart, over analyze people.

mercury in mutable signs= especially if there are harsh aspects to personal planets. overthinkers and get uneasy when confronted. lowkey feel that its better to lie sometimes. blunt but not really, not with their own stuff. very prone to become tense and nervous. negative thoughts start to spiral and once it starts they cant control it. (i'm looking at u gemini mercury)

mercury opposite moon, mercury square moon: how the feel deep down ≠ their words

mercury square ASC= this creates very conflicting people, they never seem to really understand themselves and can have a harder time with their own mental health.

mercury square venus, mercury opposite venus, mercury opposite ASC= the need to lie so that others will like them, lie to protect themselves/their images. feel that they cant even be honest to what they want. carry burden like no others. actions differ from what they rly want most of the time.

mercury aspecting mars (afflicted tho): easily frustrated. over analyzing 24/7 and losing their shits 24/7 too. panic attacks. crippling anxiety.

moon in aquarius, leo, scorpio, taurus: at the same time, one of the signs of depression is persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings (source). most fixed moon i know usually are very stubborn with their emotions, it also means that sometimes its harder for them to just let their feelings go. once they feel something it tends to stick around for a while, if not intensify as time progresses if theres no healthy emotional outlet. this is especially true for aquarius moon and scorpio moon. aquarius moon(fixed+air) people approach their feelings in an unusual way, sometimes if they're going through something you wouldn't even hear from them at all for a whole week, but then they'd come back and act like they're all good. scorpio moon(fixed+water) is naturally secretive with their struggles. they hates opening up or yearning for help so much they'd rather do it on their own and this tend to backfire most of the time. leo moon(fixed+fire) gives out a lot of love, they expect a lot in return and if not are so prone to pessimism and restlessness. taurus moon(fixed+earth) make connections through their charming ability to others, this is no secrets but they're one of the strongest people i've ever met, emotionally mature or have GREAT potentials to be one.

pisces moon: carry a lot of guilt and responsibility. they tend to have very low self esteem at one point at usually struggle to sleep a lot if they're not in a good place. very subtle yet very serious signs would be shown through this placement of the moon. they may lie to themselves a lot of the time for assurance tho. highkey need to be with people who are more rational.

pluto conjunct moon, pluto conjunct mercury or pluto conjunct ASC

pluto in the 1H,3H,4H,7H and 12H

Aquarius IC, Sagittarius IC, Scorpio IC, Capricorn IC: something about these people childhood was just off. as a child was extremely detached or extremely emotionala and switch from one state to another so often it's very alarming.

chiron in capricorn, chiron in leo.

mercury in Leo, Sagittarius: tendency to think of themselves as the one who carries the positive vibes, a need to always stay hilarious or as an entertainer for their circle, which is very exhausting and will sooner or later wear them out. great listeners to others but bad at opening up abt their struggles.

GRAND TRINE IN WATER: very very emotional people but something forbid them to show it and can get extremely obsessive and will lose themselves in toxic situations if not careful.

for more posts like this check out my masterlist y'all <3

love,

saint jenx🖤