#but it may or may not be my crush from 5th grade’s last name | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

midnightstar-90 · 3 years

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Live Laugh Love~ Rockets, Communists, and the Dewey Decimal System

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Georgie Cooper x Reader

Summary: To appease his worried mother, Sheldon employs the techniques of a self-help book to try and make a friend.

Warnings: None

AN: I plan to write a new chapter once a week. It may change at the end of the school year. On the other hand, I tried to add more to the story. I hope you guys like it.

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Y/N's Pov

I am walking to lunch, and when I round the corner, I see Mary and George looking through the lunchroom window and talking to each other. I make a confused face while listening in on their conversation. "Look at him. It breaks my heart," Mary says sadly. "Poor little guy. Sitting all alone", George says sadly while responding to Mary's comment. "I don't know why his brother or even Y/N can't sit with him. Actually, Where is Y/N. I don't see her anywhere."

"I'm right here," I say, spooking Mary and George before continuing with, "Also, I tried to sit with Sheldon on his first day, and he said it would be best for me to sit with people who have the same intellect as me. I found that rude because he meant Georgie, and I am so much smarter than Georgie. Anyways, Georgie doesn't sit with him because he says In school, they don't know each other". I look between Georgie and Sheldon, then look at my godparents. "Yeah, come on Mary, when you were in high school would you have lunch with a nine-year-old," George asked Mary. "Yes, I would have," Mary responded. "Well, there is something wrong with you." I took George's words as a sign to leave.

"Well, I'm... gonna... go," I told the married couple before heading into the lunchroom to sit with Georgie and our friends. I sat down to Georgie, trying to fit as many grapes as he can into his mouth. "Fourteen," he yelled out while all of Georgie's friends cheered him on. Georgie spits them all out before turning to me. "What did you think," Georgie asked me, trying to get my opinion on his 'cool' trick. "Georgie, if I wanted to see you stuff your mouth, I would just wait till dinner. In other words, not that interesting," I told my best friend. Georgie replied with a sad "oh" before going back to talking with his friends. I went back to finishing my newest sketch of a finch.

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Georgie and I walked into the house. "Georgie, would you do me a tiny little favor," Mary asked Georgie while he was getting a drink out of the fridge. I sat with the girl I thought of as a little sister before saying hi. Georgie responded back with a "like what" before Mary asked Georgie to sit with Sheldon. I already told Mary why I don't sit with Sheldon. Missy with her smart remarks told Georgie, "Don't do it. I ate with him in second grade, it really hurt my social life." Georgie walked off while replying to Mary with a "No thanks". I kicked Missy under the table, then gave her a 'seriously' look. I shook my head and followed Georgie to 'help' him with his homework, which was more like do his work.

I don't follow Georgie because I'm his lost puppy. I follow Georgie to help him. Without me, Georgie would grow up to be a homeless man with great hair. I am basically Georgie's Guardian angel.

"Georgie, why do I always end up doing your homework? At this point, I don't even think you know how to read. Those magazines are just for show, and you know it. You probably only look at the pictures," I said to Georgie while sitting on his bed doing our geometry homework. "Aw, come on Y/N, don't you know that you're the smartest out of both of us. Without you, I would probably still be in the 5th grade. You were right about something though, those books are for looking, but I can read you." I roll my eyes at Georgie's comment before looking down and smiling.

I admit I might have a bit of a crush on Georgie but we're best friends, and how could I ever compare those girls in his magazine. If I tell Georgie that I like him, that could ruin our friendship, and that would be weird because we live together. So, I just stick to being his best friend. That way our friendship isn't ruined and I can still be as close to him as I can.

"Well I finished your homework and it's 10 o'clock, so I guess this is it. Have a good night," I said before heading out.

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Georgie's POV

Y/N walked out of my room. I felt sad because she was gone. We talk all day, she does my homework, and we have practiced together, but I still miss her. "Maybe I like her," I mumble to myself while laying down staring at the ceiling. "Naw, that can't be," I said. I shut off my light and fell asleep.

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Y/N's POV

I was leaving my art class when I see Sheldon talking to one of the cheerleaders. It's weird to be seeing Sheldon interacting with people without them running off and crying. It interested me so much I decided to listen in.

"Go wolves," Sheldon said in a monotone voice. Jessica closed her locker confused. Sheldon responded back to Jessica with, "You're a cheerleader, and by saying "Go Wolves" I'm initiating a conversation about something that interests you." "Oh, are you one of those special ed kids," Jessica asked still trying to understand what was happening. The older sister part of me kinda felt angry that she said that, but on the other hand she was talking to Sheldon. "My mom says I'm special. Would you like to be friends" Sheldon asks. She tells him, no, but Sheldon keeps going, "Are you sure? What if I told you I admired your boldly-applied makeup?" Jessica walks off offended.

I walk up to Sheldon frantically and say, "Sheldon, you can't say mean things like that. I'm at the top of the pyramid today, and Jessica is right underneath me." "Oh, I didn't know what I said was offensive. I thought that I was complimenting her," Sheldon says. "Well, just try not to insult people. If you don't know what to say, don't say anything to them." Sheldon replies with an "alright" before walking away from me. I watch Sheldon go before heading to my next class.

I got to my next class and I sat down beside Georgie. "I just ran into Sheldon trying to make friends," I told Georgie while I get the stuff I need for class out of my backpack. "I feel bad for whoever had to put up with Sheldon. That boy is not one for making friends," Georgie responds to my comment. "Well, I think it's cute, but I feel bad because he didn't make one friend." "You sound like my mom," Georgie says. I glare at Georgie. The teacher walks in and starts the class.

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I hear Mary yelling about how Sheldon made a friend. I felt happy for him. I feel like Sheldon would really benefit from having a friend. I mean, I have Georgie, and we're inseparable.

I also heard Sheldon ask if he can start his rocketry hobby again with his new friend and I dipped. The last time he launched a rocket he killed a family of squirrels and my eyebrows. I wanted to bond with Sheldon so I helped him with his rocket.

I went downstairs to watch tv with Missy. She was watching DuckTales. "I'm surprised you're not with Georgie," Missy comments as I sit down with her. I roll my eyes and say, "Georgie isn't my whole life. I talked to Sheldon earlier, and now I just want to hang out with you. Sheldon has a new friend now, I have Georgie, but I feel like you don't have anyone to hang out with. So, what do you say tomorrow I take you to get your nails done." Missy's eyes go wide and she excitedly shouts, "Yes, I'm gonna go tell mom!"

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After school, Missy and I went to get our nails done.

(Missy's Nails)

(Y/N's Nails)

When Missy and I got home Mary told us that Sheldon's friend was coming over. Missy and I sat down to talk and watch tv. There was a knock at the door, and that set Mary off. "He's here," she yelled. "Everybody, stay calm! Just a normal day, just a normal dinner," she continued. Missy asks if she and I can eat in front of the TV, which obviously didn't end well.

We're all sitting at the dinner table, except for Mary, when George starts asking Tam, questions. George makes it weird when he asked Tam if his mom was named Kim-lee. Me and Georgie look at each other with a cringed look.

Georgie releases us from the weird vibes when he asks Tam, "So, Vietnam, like in Rambo." Tam responds with a "yes" and then Georgie continues with, "That's a cool movie." Georgie asks Tam if he's in Rambo and I look at him and elbow him in the ribs. Georgie says, "oww, what was that for" before Tam tells him "no". Sheldon brings the conversation back to George's comment, but it is cut off by Mary serving dinner.

We learned a lot about Tam's family and life. It was very interesting. Georgie said a couple more stupid things, which earned him a few more elbows to the ribs.

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I was in my room, getting ready for bed. Georgie walks in and sits on my bed.

(Y/N's Room)

(Y/N's PJ's)

"How was the day with my sister," Georgie asks me. I sign for Georgie to get off the bed and say, "We had fun. After our nails, we went to Dairy Queen and got a blizzard. I think Missy and I really needed today, you know." Georgie helps me make my bed and continues the conversation, "I missed you today." "Is Georgie Cooper jealous? Georgie Cooper didn't have someone to do his homework and now he's sad," I said mocking Georgie. Georgie grows a sad look on his face and says, "No, I missed my best friend. Not the girl that does my homework, or the girl that helps me clean my room. I miss the girl I talk to for hours. The girl that makes me feel special compared to the rest of my family. I miss that girl and that girl is you."

"Wow, that was deep for a kid that went a couple of hours without seeing me, but I know how you feel. Missy and Sheldon don't know how to do the things we do. I almost made Missy cry by insulting her earlier. I think I hang around boys too much," I say getting ready to lay down. Georgie climbs into the bed with me and we silently talk for the rest of the night.

#montana jordan #georgie cooper #georgie cooper x reader #george cooper #mary cooper #missy cooper #sheldon cooper #meemaw #young sheldon #big bang theory #fanfic #x reader #connie tucker #wattpad

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leerongrong · 4 years

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❥ 𝐍𝐂𝐓 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 – sending them the wrong text

⌜ mark ⌟

mark watches from the corner of his eye as you tap at the screen of your phone, a shy smile present on your face. he's waving his hand side to side, trying to get your attention, only to pout when he fails to. he perks up the moment his phone dings, opening it to see multiple messages from you.

[11:45] you sent a message.

i think the sun's starting to get to me

[11:45] you sent a message.

the more i look at him the more he shines

[11:46] you sent a message.

nvm that I CANT TAKE MY EYES OFF OF HIM

[11:46] you sent a message.

did you see him smile when he saw watermelon? the smile he had while eating them :((

[11:46] you sent a message.

and not to be nsfw but the more i look at him,,, the hotter he looks??? is that even possible????

[11:46] you sent a message.

he was so small so cute when we first met in 5th grade

[11:47] you sent a message.

fuck i think im in love with him i think im in love with mark

[11:48] you sent a message.

i think im in love with my bestfriend

he started off confused, eyes flitting from the first of your texts, slowly dragging themselves to the end. his small pout slowly turns into a smile, to a full blown grin when they finally reach the last of them, when they finally reach his name.

"holy." mark started off with mumbles, his head turning from you to his phone so fast he might get whiplash. "she- she's in love with me.." the farther he gets through his sentence, the louder he becomes, catching not only peoples attention, but also yours. "she's freaking in love with me!"

your furrowed eyebrows is the first thing he sees, running across the pool and straight to you, barreling into you and accidentally sending the both of you into the water. you're both spluttering when you break through the water's surface, your face an expression of disbelief while his is of pure joy.

he doesn't regret pulling you down with him, sealing your lips in an underwater kiss that tastes of watermelon and grape ice cream.

⌜ renjun ⌟

the soft glow of your phone disturbs renjun. the only source of light in the otherwise dark theater room, playing the movie you begged him to watch with you. he's rolling his eyes in annoyance, still gripping the half finished popcorn, hands coming back and forth from his mouth towards the salty snack.

soon after, the soft tapping of your fingers against the screen takes his interest off the movie. renjun's eyes sneak a peak, slightly leaning his body against his head rest so he could take a better look at what has your full interest.

[19:06] you sent a message.

leee jenooo

[19:07] you sent a message.

as cheesy as it sounds,,, the movie's right in front of me but the one view i want to see is him

[19:07] you sent a message.

i know its stupid to say but i just feel...happy whenever im around him

[19:07] you sent a message.

it doesnt matter where we are it freaking doesnt matter what we're doing and it FREAKING DOESNT MATTER WHO'S THERE WITH US

[19:08] you sent a message.

all i know is that when im with him im happy

[19:08] you sent a message.

it doesnt matter if it's all gray and blue hes the splash of color and thats all i need..

[19:09] you sent a message.

im all soft for him like this,, i just wish i could tell him 🙃

the slight ringing in his ears should worry him, along with the excessive warmth that's suddenly spreading through his body, face, and ears. the slight twitch of his fingers should too, as if his body is reacting in a way only you can make him, as if it's finally accepting the pull.

the clearing of his throat startles you, making you instinctively hide your phone in the corner of your seat. your eyes zoom in on his reddening face, leaning in closer to make sure, amidst all the darkness. "renjun? what's wrong?" pressing the palm of your hand to his burning forehead. "do you have a fever? junnie, you should've told me."

renjun's still stubbornly looking at the screen, taking a deep breath and doing a countdown before he takes your hand in his, intertwining the two as your eyebrows furrow.

he starts leaning in, coming closer and closer to your face that it makes you lean back in your seat, trying to look away from his face. "i think this isn't a good date," he whispers, "how about we go on an official one tomorrow?"

the wide cinema screen is the audience to the scene renjun puts on, leaving a peck at the edge of your lips as shy smile spreads on his.

⌜ jeno ⌟

[09:08] you sent a message.

i love it when jeno smiles

[09:08] you sent a message.

i mean :: have you seen his smile? those pretty cresent moon eye smiles that's just so freaking cute it makes me want to kiss him all over

[09:09] you sent a message.

and not be weird or anything,,, but his height is perfect. imagine running into his arms and just being all warm because we all know jeno gives the best hugs 😫

[09:09] you sent a message.

is it weird to think about hugging and snuggling with your best friend? to think about how pretty his smile is and how you want to kiss away his cute pout?

[09:10] you sent a message.

yes? no? mark, i think i'm in too deep here..

the minute jeno reads your texts, he's out the door. he doesn't care about the thunderstorm going on outside, he doesn't listen to his member's shouts about bringing an umbrella. all that's running around his mind is you. all he can think about is how he desperately wants to hug you in his arms, so tightly he knows you're going to start to whine. all he wants to do is to kiss you. after 5 years of pinning over you, he finally has the chance to.

he's met with water the moment he runs out in the rain, not caring about the thunder and wind that's pelting down his body. he's soaking wet when he reaches your front door, drenched in water as he knocks and is met with your cutely confused face.

"lee jeno!" your eyes are as wide as saucers, quickly starting to tug him inside when you see his condition. "what are you doing you idiot?! you could get sick!"

he doesn't give you much time to talk (or to start hitting him for being stupid) when he puts his hands on your cheeks and pulls you into a kiss, the atmosphere reminding him of two lovers running through the rain to see each other in movies.

the cold and fever he gets the next day is worth it, especially with your cuddles and chicken soup to get him through the day.

⌜ haechan ⌟

[07:10] you sent a message.

i may be in love with donghyuck

[07:11] you sent a message.

i think he's just the most sweetest, funniest, dorkiest guy with the most perfect smile and laugh

[07:11] you sent a message.

the one who brights up my day (ironically), my full sun

[07:12] you sent a message.

but love is such a fickle thing <3

he wouldn't notice at first, too busy goofing off with chenle and mark, until jeno points out his phone buzzing and lighting up with notifications. the biggest smile would light up his face, so bright and wide, and he just freezes in his place, not even moving or looking away from his phone that it makes the others worry.

starts jumping and squealing, shoving his phone into the other's faces to show off your text when he finally breaks out of his stupor, heart beating so fast renjun tries to make him take deep breaths before he passes out.

doesn't care when his members tell him to carry out with caution, that it could be one of your usual pranks. all he can see is you and him, going on dates and cuddling. after all, it isn't every day your bestfriend (whom you have feelings towards) since diapers confesses.

[07:44] haechan sent a message.

so you have a crush on me😏

[07:44] haechan sent a message.

i'm not surprised, i AM a natural charmer

[07:45] you sent a message.

WHAT

[07:45] you sent a message.

HOW THOU FRICK

[07:46] you sent a message.

wrong message wrong person sorry haha

[07:47] haechan sent a message.

"i am in love with donghyuck."

[07:47] haechan sent a message.

"sweetest, funniest, dorkiest guy with the most perfect smile."

[07:49] you sent a message.

i MAY be in love. MAY. not AM you narcissistic freak

[07:50] haechan sent a message.

i MAY be in love with you too

ends up taking you to the carnival for your first date, winning you stuffed animals and dragging you on rollercoaster after rollercoaster (definitely not because he likes the way you wrap around him whenever you get scared), finishes the day with a photobooth and a kiss on the ferris wheel.

⌜ jaemin ⌟

the coffee shop is relatively bustling, people going in and out the moment they receive their orders, or stay inside to enjoy their cup of coffee. you and jaemin being the latter, both your perspective orders on the brown wooden desk, along side your thick biology books.

your book has been untouched for the last hour, notes and highlighters thrown onto it as you tap at your phone, eyes flitting from the screen to jaemin's face every few moments.

[07:22] you sent a message.

we're currently studying biology

[07:23] you sent a message.

oh welp im lying,, he's learning biology and i'm relearning all my favorite things about him

[07:23] you sent a message.

that was so cheesy- ive been spending way too much time with nana 🤧

[07:23] you sent a message.

he's mumbling something about adjectives to explain biology

[07:24] you sent a message.

the one three adjectives i can explain is him

[07:24] you sent a message.

focused, motivated, oh and most definitely cute

you don't seem to notice jaemin's eyes on you, a coy smile on his lips as he checks his nonstop buzzing phone, slightly giggling at how you seem to not notice you've sent your texts to the wrong person.

"if I had to choose between DNA and RNA, i’d choose RNA because it has u in it.” his sudden voice startles you, making you yelp and raise your head to look at him in bewilderment. "we fit together like the sticky ends of recombinant DNA.”

"excuse me, na jaemin." throwing a raised eyebrow at him along with a sarcastic chuckle. "but i don't understand smart talk."

"you must be a red blood cell because you take the oxygen away from my lungs straight to my heart.” the coy smile he sends you doesn't solve anything, and it takes you moments until you finally start to catch on to his quips.

"DNA spelled backward is AND, as in… me AND you"

jaemin's blinking, breaking into a laugh that shakes the table just enough to spill some of his coffee onto his notes. an excited grin breaks out on your face, butterflies flying in your tummy as his eyes glaze over with a sudden emotion.

"my sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia tells me i love you."

⌜ chenle ⌟

5 minutes to his last buzzer and chenle's looking for you in the bleachers. his eyes are searching through the crowds of people, trying to find you in his signature red and white jersey, only to pout and huff when all he sees is unknown people waving at him, perking up seconds later when his phone vibrates.

[15:30] you sent a message.

look at him down there!

[15:30] you sent a message.

he looks like a freaking super star

[15:30] you sent a message.

hes THE ace,,, hes MY ace ohmygod :((

[15:31] you sent a message.

i just want him to know that whatever happens hes a winner in my heart yaknow??? not as if hes gonna lose i mean my chenle is the best one out there!!!!

[15:32] you sent a message.

pray for me bcs if he does win im gonna give him a big fat smooch :)

the coach calls for him before he has time to process your message, casually dragging him to play for his last round. his eyes are flitting from the score board, with a big red 60 vs 60 displayed, to the hoards of people. his eyes land on your for a second, the moment enough for you to send him a victory smile and thumbs up.

it's only in the last seconds when he scores the winning goal for his team does he celebrate, running away from the sports ground and leaving his confused team behind as he purposely looks for you. it's when you crash into his arms does he lift you into them, pressing a disorienting kiss onto your lips, with his teams roaring cheers as the background.

"i'm your chenle, i'm your ace!" it takes a minute for you to process his words, clicking two and two together before your jaw goes slack and an embarrased groan escapes from your lips. chenle grins when you bury your face in his chest, shaking you in his arms with all his added excitement. "can i have another kiss?" he peeps down to take a look at you, sending a bashful smile.

⌜ jisung ⌟

"park jisung this isn't funny!" you're sprinting down the stairs, a fair distance away from jisung who's already reached your kitchen, running for his life with your phone in his hand. "give me my phone back! jisung, i swear to god!"

the big laugh that erupts from jisung only gets to you even more, trying to run even faster after your neighbor whom you have had a crush for since childhood. all the while jisung is having the time of his life, running to your living room and cramping his lanky body into the first place he thinks of hiding, wedged between two sofas.

jisung's putting in your password, his birthday, and he's opening the message you've just received from renjun, reading your most recent chat with the chinese boy.

[14:09] you sent a message.

i dont know jun...

[14:09] you sent a message.

what if me confessing only makes us awkward?

[14:10] you sent a message.

i dont care if he rejects me, its jisung we're talking about here! he wouldn't hurt a fly! i dont think he'd break my heart that much..

[14:10] you sent a message.

i dont want 10 years of our friendship to go down the pipe just because of some stupid crush i have towards him

[14:11] you sent a message.

what am i going to do jun?

it takes jisung a moment to read between your texts and another minute to process that the boy you have a crush on, is in fact, him. the more he thinks about it, the more jisung regrets being a slow poke because the moment he finished, you're bounding in between the sofas and taking your phone from him.

there's a moment of silence, of you staring at the phone now in your hand and of jisung staring at his feet, shuffling and pouting his lips.

"jisung, i like you."

"i would never break your heart."

it's the day you became both jisung's bestfriend and lover, with him taking you on a date to the park later in the afternoon.

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before-we-get-started · 3 years

Text

Dream Come True

Colin Shea x O/C Corinne MacAdam

Multi-Chapter Story - Complete

Summary: Colin Shea and his band Rock the Cradle are finally making it big - until something unexpected happens. When he meets a girl that makes him reconsider his player ways, he thinks his life may be coming together, until she blows it apart.

Warning: Bad language, smut, suicidal ideations - no one under 18, please

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please do not read if you are underage. I do not own the character of Colin Shea; the rest are my original characters. By reading beyond this point, you understand the disclaimers as posted.

Chapter One

“Corinne? Corinne, did you hear me?”

Cori blinked, she’s sure she heard her name.

“Cori!”

Startled, Corinne MacAdam jumped, her coffee cup toppling off the edge of the desk. She looked up at her supervisor.

“Corinne, you know I like you very much. I have great hopes for you. But this has to stop. I need you to be present. This event will make or break the company, I need to know you’ll carry your part.”

“I will,” she said softly, dabbing at the coffee on the desk with a napkin. “I’ve got it. You can count on me.”

“Ok, then get down to the office and get the permit filed. We only have a few more days to do it.”

“Got it,” she said, retrieving the mug from the floor. She examined the words on the side – That’s a horrible idea – what time? Her breath caught in her throat as she remembered the moment her best friend Amber had given it to her. She’d just secured a job with the leading events company in Boston. Over drinks at their favorite bar, Amber had presented her with a bag of “desk swag,” including the mug.

“We’re finally living the dream!” she’d gushed as they’d toasted martini glasses. They’d been friends since sitting next to each other in second grade. They’d shared every moment a girl could have – crushes, first kisses, first dates, driver’s licenses. She’d comforted Amber when a date with a guy she really liked had gone too far and she regretted sleeping with him. Amber had comforted her when Cori’s boyfriend and future fiancée had strayed during college. In spite of life’s challenges, their friendship had been rock solid. Until that night, the night before her wedding.

“Cori? Are you leaving now?” Her supervisor was definitely out of patience.

‘Yes, leaving right now,” she said. She pulled her purse from the bottom drawer of her desk, grabbed the large envelope with the permit application and headed for the elevator.

It was amazing what triggered memories. As she pushed the elevator button to go down, the buzz of her fellow employees all around her, the memory of her wedding hotel flashed in her mind. They’d chosen the hotel because her parents were married there years ago. Her ceremony would be held in the same salon. Matthew had proposed in front of the hotel’s gorgeous fountain after her parent’s anniversary dinner the year before. He’d pulled her close after she said yes and told her in one year, they’d be right here, taking wedding photos. If he hadn’t left his credit card on the table at the rehearsal dinner, what would she be feeling right now? She wouldn’t have taken the elevator up to the 5th floor to his room. She wouldn’t have knocked and heard voices, one distinctly female and familiar, on the other side of the door. She wouldn’t have used her key to Matthew’s room and found him and Amber, her best friend and maid of honor, making love on the bed, destroying her life. They were the two people she trusted most in the world.

“Cori, are you getting on?” Her co-worker was holding the elevator. She sniffed back the tears that burned at the corners of her eyes and stepped in to the back of the elevator.

She and Matthew were so good together. She laughed when she was with him. Being with him was effortless. In their four years together, they’d hiked, run, walked and traveled thousands of miles. They’d enjoyed so much live music and so many plays and musicals. They both loved the arts and history. It’s as if they were made for each other.

She’d forgiven him when he cheated on her in college. Their schools were a couple hours’ drive from each other but busy schedules kept them apart more than together. He’d broken down and cried when he told her about the girl – he’d attended a party with a friend and drank way too much. He woke up in a friend’s apartment with the girl next to him. He didn’t even know her name. He’d begged Cori to forgive him, telling her it meant nothing and she was all he wanted. It had been hard, but she’d worked to put it behind her and he did his best to rebuild her trust.

Now all she could think was how many – how many had there been? How many girls had he been with while they were together? It all came out after the wedding was cancelled. There was a girlfriend at work, a bartender at their favorite bar, a teammate on his co-ed rec soccer team. The list was long.

She stepped off the elevator into the bustle of the lobby. Her office building was home to many companies and there were always people coming and going, delivery drivers and couriers crowding the security desk for entry. She couldn’t lift her head, bumping into several people as she finally reached the exit. She stepped out onto the sidewalk and pressed herself against the front window of the building, trying to steady herself. What was the point? It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. She’d probably lose her job. She couldn’t concentrate and she knew she wasn’t giving her best work. Her supervisor had been more than patient with her.

She turned slowly and caught her reflection. Her chestnut hair was pulled into a bun, tendrils falling on either side. Her coffee brown eyes looked dull, dark circles underneath. Her lip gloss had faded and her face was pale. She was a hot mess. There was a time she wouldn’t have stepped out the door without her makeup and hair being perfect. But not now.

As she stepped away from the window, the din of city noise on Boston’s streets surrounded her but she shut it out. She was alone. No one would ever be like Matthew, and he hadn’t ever really loved her. If she didn’t have him, and she’d lost her best friend, what was left?

The courthouse was three blocks away on the other side of the street. She fell into a rhythm with the other pedestrians shuffling down the sidewalk. She could cross at the next light.

She stepped to the edge of the curb, eyeing the “Don’t Walk” sign across the street. How would she ever be able to erase the image? Matthew and Amber, wrapped in the hotel sheets. Matthew saying the same things to Amber he always said to Cori, calling her the same sweet name he did when they were intimate. She scrunched up her eyes, a searing pain gripping her chest. Her mother told her broken hearts don’t last forever. How did she know? She’d just celebrated her 30th wedding anniversary with her high school sweetheart. What did she know about heartbreak? The pain was unbearable. She just wanted to be in Matthew’s arms again, happy and hopeful, their future in front of them. She stepped forward, lost in the depth of her depressing thoughts, into the path of a cab, and the screams behind her were deafening.

#chris evans #chris evans fanfic #chris evans angst #what's your number #colin shea #dream come true #colin shea x ofc #colin shea x original fictional character

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hoshiwilluploadstuff · 3 years

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In the Spider's Web || Phantom Troupe One-Shot ||

In the Spider’s Web (Phantom Troupe Fanfic)

Summary: She was a regular office worker born with the ability to “see” how dangerous a person is with a number scale of 1-10 above their heads. A toddler would be a 1 and a skilled soldier with a firearm may score a 7. Today, she noticed the reserved new guy at the office measures a 10. *writing prompt*

Warnings: Death, Character Death, and just death- there will always be dead people when its the Phantom Troupe

The offices were mundane as per usual. Yu had been assigned to a new floor to take care of the new employees, or so her supervisor said, but she knew that she had just been given the job because it was exhausting for him.

Lazy prick.

Yu’s eyes drifted off to the people on the floor. Some she knew, some she didn’t, and some just familiar. And just like usual, cloud-like numbers were above their heads ranging only from 3-4. People like her supervisor or those buffy looking fellows were around 5.

Yu had just gotten the ability recently. It helped when she’d walk home alone, who to be wary of, and who to not be afraid of.

“Ah, sorry.” Yu apologized for bumping into a guy. Oh, he was new. He looked like the usual tired office worker trying to get through the day like her. As she was about to introduce herself, her tongue froze.

10.

What?

That couldn’t be possible.

“You alright?” His voice was unusually calm for a new tired guy. He raised a brow.

Calm down, Yu.

Yu managed to wipe off the fear from her tone and laughed it off. “Yea- Yea! You must be new here- I’m Yu Nadmi, your finance manager. I’ll be taking care of helping you around the place.”

She waited for him to introduce himself, but he merely squinted his eyes at her. Scrutinizing her. She gulped. Yep, she was definitely leaving this place. She was quitting the first thing she left the room.

“Right.” He walked past her indifferently. If it hadn’t been for her ability, Yu would have told him off for disrespecting his senior.

But the 10 loomed over his head ominously.

Yu yeeted out of the place immediately. She’ll send in her resignation through email. She was never coming back to that place ever.

Goodbye, promotion.

She hurriedly packed up her stuff- makeup, food, personal documents- everything she owned into her bag.

“Yu, where are you going?” Her co-worker, Lisa, asked. “It’s not lunch yet.”

“My dog died.” was the first thing Yu said. She didn’t have a dog- she had a cute kitten by the name Steve so her parents thought she had a boyfriend or partner or something. Now, she needed to find a new home for Steve so he wouldn’t be murdered like her.

Oh god.

Steve would miss Yu terribly.

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that.” Yu just nodded, faked a sob, then left. She was on the 4th floor of the building. She quickly pressed the elevator button. It was heading her way. Okay, great. This was just a bad day.

Ding!

The elevator doors opened. She nearly choked in horror. The 10 was haunting her. It was definitely haunting you. Three more people had the 10 over their heads.

What was today?!

The second tallest of the three, a blonde with extremely kind eyes, snapped Yu out of her frozen state. “Aren’t you getting in?”

She couldn’t say no right?? They’d know then. Oh my god.

Yu laughed. “Oh, sorry, I was just dazed.” She entered, feet becoming jelly, and stood beside the small woman with pink hair. She just hoped the fear didn’t ooze out clearly. The doors closed and she pressed the 1st floor. Her eyes couldn’t help but wander over to the floor that was pressed other than hers- 5th. The floor above hers- it led to the boss’ office alongside the other supervisors.

“Do you work here?” The tall blonde asked. You’d have flirted with him casually if not for the 10. Cursed 10.

Yu nodded. “Yea, just new actually.” The lie came out smoothly. “I just finished my interview.”

“Oh? So you’re leaving already? Too bad, you look really pretty.”

May the Lord bless Yu’s poor soul.

“Oh uh thanks… you don’t look too bad yourself.” The elevator dinged just as it stopped at the 5th floor.

“It was nice to meet you, miss. I hope your interview went well.” A bead of sweat rolled down her back as the three left the elevator.

“It was nice to meet you too, sir…” Her enthusiastic smile quickly dropped once the doors closed and her shoulders slumped into relaxation.

Okay, Yu got through that somehow.

But wait, she paused, realizing something.

The number of the elevator flickered to 4.

Only authorized people could enter the elevator from the lobby. And she knew every authorized person in this building. Even if those three were guests, an authorized person would have come with them.

Yu’s shaking hand went over her mouth as she gasped.

The elevator flickered 3.

If one person was at the 4th floor, 3 at the 5th, then...are the other floors even safe? She quickly looked around the small space. Her eyes landed on the square on the ceiling of the elevator.

The elevator flickered 2 and dinged.

“Oi, did you take care of everything on the 3rd floor?” Yu placed a hand over her mouth hearing unfamiliar voices beneath her. There was a pause, she guessed he was talking on the phone.

“Well, Boss should be pleased with how things are going.” Another voice she hadn’t heard of.

Yu held on the metal wire in fear.

“Hm? Did you press this?”

Oh God, if you are there, please let them ignore it.

“They must be done with the 1st floor and are heading up.” Yu’s shoulders relaxed at the other person’s reply.

Yu flinched hearing something wet and heavy drop. A bag, you hoped.

“Franklin’s almost done. Feitan is taking his sweet time getting info on the 4th.” The doors closed and she struggled not to fall over as it moved.

Should she call the police?! Yu didn’t know what to do but she hesitantly took out her phone and pushed it into silent mode. She has seen too many thriller movies that had phones kill them because it wasn’t silent.

She was clearly not going to be one of them.

The elevator dinged, reaching the 1st floor. Yu clenched her fists and looked around her. She hoped there was something you could do to stay on the 1st floor.

“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to head up to the 5th floor and meet up with the rest.” A woman this time. She sounded old, maybe around her early 30s. It was sharp and held a clear air to it.

Yu realized what she could do. She turned on the record.

“Oh, that was me- I pressed that.” A male? She wasn’t sure. But whatever, the police would take care of it if she got out of this alive. “Let's all head up together.”

If she got out of this alive, Yu repeated the thought with a gulp.

The elevator doors closed again and silence took over. Yu paused the recording and looked up. Her next problem…

She carefully, making absolutely no sound, lied on her back. It didn’t take long for the ceiling to appear and Yu clenched her fists as the ceiling came closer and closer and closer.

Then it stopped, several more centimeters more she would have been crushed.

The elevator doors opened, several footsteps echoed out, and the doors closed.

Now, the thing was, Yu would have entered back into the elevator but the amount of space left for her was impossible to even think of moving.

What the frick was she supposed to do? Was she just gonna lie there and wait???

Just then, the doors opened again. But it was rushed panting and pained groans that greeted her ears.

Someone escaped?

“Come on, come on, come on!!!!”

Yu could hear the constant press of the elevator button, most likely for the first floor. She pressed the palm of her hand tightly against her mouth as tears developed at the edge of her eyes.

“Please, please, oh God, please hurry!!!”

The voice belonged to her co-manager.

Her nails dug on the skin of her cheeks when the terrified scream echoed for only a brief second followed by the ‘shing!’ of a blade until the dark silence took over.

“Tsk, noisy cow.” Shaking fervently, Yu resumed recording to get as much as she could. She couldn’t have expected that they were all going to die.

The thought of Lisa, her co-worker, who innocently asked her where she went echoed in her mind. Yu was selfish, a coward, but even she didn’t know it was going to be like this. The tears escaped her eyes and her breathing constricted as a sob, a real sob, tried to break out of her throat. Breathing carefully, she remained motionless again.

Survive, Yu, you can do this. Steve’s waiting for you.

Her constricted breathing finally relaxed at the thought of her little black kitten waiting at home for her to walk and care for him.

Yu was determined to have Steve ready for adoption because even if she did survive this ordeal, the news would broadcast her survival.

She couldn’t have that. She met like four of the guys with that cursed 10 on their heads. They probably remembered her- she had to give Steve a home before she would be murdered.

“Oi, Fei, get that out. We don’t have Shizuku to clean shit up for us right now.” The voice- it belonged to the guy from the 2nd floor, it was deep.

“Tsk.” The other guy replied. Yu’s shoulders shook as the same fleshy bag was dropped heavily on the ground just past the elevator. Just then, the doors closed and the ceiling above her began to grow farther and farther away.

As the elevator descended, Yu paused the record again and returned to sitting upright. She wondered exactly why this was happening.

The office building she was in was called Spectrum that specialized in marketing. It wasn’t famous for that matter, but it did get rare items that could be bidded in auctions. However, Yu was sure that they didn’t have any rare items as of the month. After all, Yu was in charge of the budgets and there had been no significant changes at all. It was the usual low-grade items sold to the public. The last time they even got a rare item was a year ago.

The loud ding snapped Yu out of her thoughts. She carefully descended from the roof of the elevator, careful of making any suspicious sounds, and exited the elevator. Her hand immediately shot up to her mouth as the urge to retch took over her.

Piles of bodies stretched throughout the lobby. Familiar faces, friends, co-workers stared at her with blank and dead eyes, their blood mixed and pooled around one another. She felt sick seeing the red zero that floated just above their bodies. She had never seen her ability show a zero before. She quickly looked away and took deep breaths into her palm.

The faint smell of iron touched her taste and she doubled over holding back her breakfast. Fortunately, she stomached it back in.

Yu carefully walked over the bodies, careful not to step on the blood and even those zeroes and quietly maneuvered her way to the back door exit. She didn’t think twice to go through the front entrance. The less amount of blood dated all the way there meaning they weren’t scared going up front.

Soon enough, Yu was at the back door exit meant only for authorized people to go through. She quickly hid when a looming person appeared at the corner of her eye.

“I can’t believe I’m taking watch here. Shit.” A samurai? Yu was afraid to take out her phone to turn the recording back on. The back area was barely lit, except the lights that came through the windows. Her position would be seen if her phone screen lit up.

“I’m so fucking bored! I can’t believe I lost to those little shits on rock paper scissors.” The man continued to grumble. Yu shook at the 10 over his head.

Seriously, what the hell??? She just wants to go home, drop Steve at her parents place, then be happily killed. Or she could run away and live in the forest and become a naturalist. Yes, that sounded good too.

“Hm?” Yu froze at the knowing tone of the man. She could vividly hear him scratch his chin. “I can hear someone else here.” Hearing that, Yu immediately clasped her hand over her mouth and tugged her bag close to her chest.

Breathe calmly. Her throat constricted. Yu, calm down.

The scratching noise disappeared and Yu quickly buried herself deeper into her hiding spot.

Ba-dum. Ba-dum.

Her heart beat rang in her ears.

Ba-dum.

The sharp ringing of silence accompanied her heart beat.

“Hm?” It was right by her ear and Yu sprang up and ran. But the collar of her shirt was pulled harshly and she cried out.

“NO!” She struggled hard, pressed the heel of her shoe on his foot, and slammed her elbow hard against his chest. She felt it in slow motion, the squish of joints on the heel and the jolt back of her elbow to her hand. There was an audible thump and a pained yelp behind her as she ran for her life.

Yu headed towards the bathroom. There was an open window for ventilation that she knew fit her size because obviously she had gone through there at some point in her job.

“Oi, Nobunaga, answer your damn phone.” Yu’s small frame slammed into a brick wall and she fell onto her bum. Gasping for her life, her frightened state stared up at the man she had seen in the elevator on the 4th floor. Oh God. He was bigger and wider in an open area.

“The little piece of-!” The samurai was behind her. This buff man in front of her.

She thought she was done for when the buff man looked down at his phone then at her.

“Saved us the trouble. Thought we had to search for your home.” The horror in his words didn’t quite register as the panic of trying to survive settled in. Yu quickly sprang up to dart away, but the buff man instantly grabbed her by the waist and threw her over his shoulder.

“LET ME GO! LET ME GO!” was at the tip of her tongue but she bit it back hard feeling the overwhelming strength behind his grip. Her nails dug the palm of her hand, but she tried to think rationally even at this point.

Why’d they need her???

“Lucky girl, I'd slice you open if you weren’t needed.” The samurai, Nobunaga grumbled in distaste. “What is so important about her?”

“Check your phone, idiot.” Yu nearly squealed when the man suddenly laughed, his shoulders shaking making her world go up and down. “What did she do to you to make you so fucking pissed?”

There was the sound of light tapping, Yu guessed was his phone, and a grumble of “Just shut the fuck up and let’s get to the 5th floor.”

Yu felt sick to her stomach as her world swayed around. It didn’t take long for her to be back in that elevator she had been stuck in for what was hours but was merely minutes, and back at the 5th floor she was dying to not go into.

The samurai and the buff man were busy chattering to themselves. Yu was just too dizzy and light-headed at that point to even listen to them. Her bag idly swung back and forth as she was carried away.

“Welcome back, miss~!” Yu was greeted by the enthusiastic blonde man when she was thrown to the ground half-heartedly. She grimaced at his warm smile. “To think an interviewee was actually the finance manager!”

Yu’s eyes met the frightened gazes of her supervisor and the rest of the team leaders. The number 5 floated above their heads. Their faces were contorted in fear and panic with blood splatter on various areas of their tied up forms. She noticed she was the only manager in the group.

“Is that all of them?” her eyes darted to the one who spoke, a blonde woman with a sharp accentuated nose. She knew her voice from the 1st floor.

“Shizuku already got rid of their boss so yea, that’s all of them.”

Why did they need her?

Just as the thought passed, the blonde woman’s eyes flickered over to her. Yu wearily scooched away when the woman approached her.

“Do you know why you’re here?” The woman asked, placing a hand on top of Yu’s head.

Yu nervously looked around her and shook her head. If she was going to die, she hoped it would be quick and painless.

“No…”

“Is the book ‘Melody in the Poison Trap’ familiar to you?” Yu’s brows furrowed, carefully searched her memories, and shook her head ‘no’.

“You liar-!!!” Her supervisor's yelling was cut off by a sharp ‘shiiing!’. Even Yu had to nervously gulp at the samurai’s sharp blade pointed at her supervisor’s adam's apple.

“He told us that you knew of the book’s location.” Yu’s eyes flickered to her supervisor’s angered, panicked gaze and the blonde woman’s calm, indifferent gaze.

Yu carefully looked through her memories but the book that was mentioned wasn’t in any of them.

“The…” Her tongue was heavy as she carefully chose her words. “The only books or compositions that the company was interested in were La Flor Demente, violin piece of the Sonata of Darkness, and the Void Century. B-But the bidding got too high so we were unable to acquire any of them.” She locked eyes with her supervisor when she said the next statement, “There was no Melody in the Poison Trap.”

The blonde woman immediately took her hand off her head and nodded at her companions.

Yu couldn’t even react so much as a gasp when all of the team leader’s bodies were decapitated. Her eyes were still locked on her supervisor’s eyes as the light faded from them.

Once their bodies dropped and their number became a red zero was when Yu couldn't hold back her breakfast.

“Ugh, disgusting.” It was the new guy, supposedly the new guy, who commented while she vomited.

“It was fun seeing them come up with lies.” Yu recognized it as the smaller, softer voice from the 2nd floor. He was the smallest in the group with only his left eye visible from his mop of hair.

“Definitely, especially when they communicated with their eyes.” The enthusiastic blonde chimed.

“I should’ve stayed with the Boss if I knew the fight was going to be as boring as this.” The buff man groaned. Yu wiped her lips as she tiredly gazed at the killers. Her vision was starting to blur but she dug the nails into her palm to stay awake, focused.

“What we do with that? What Boss say?” The new guy grumbled, bringing Yu’s existence back into their focus. She was a ‘that’ now.

Yu pressed herself against the wall and hugged her bag close to her chest.

Why hadn’t they killed her?

Another blonde, but with no eyebrows, spoke this time. “We’re babysitting her.” He said it with a click of his tongue. He was the other guy on the 2nd floor. “Boss said that she’s important.”

“That’s it? Nothing else? Not have Paku over here or Feitan extract the information however they want??” The buff guy looked at his phone then at the blonde, eyebrowless man.

“Nope. We’re babysitting her.” The blonde man confirmed. “So, who’s taking her?” Yu watched as they grimaced looking at each other.

“Not me.”

“Me either.”

“Nada.”

“Nope.”

Or similar phrases were being thrown around like taking turns on who’s supposed to do the dishes for the night, except she was the dishes.

“Let’s flip for it then. Take bets on the majority two who’ll have to babysit her.” The warmer blonde said with a grin. They all confirmed with their own noises.

Yu couldn’t even relax, despite her death not being held by a string anymore. Not because of the dead bodies surrounding her, but because of the haunting 10 over the killers’ heads. All of them were a 10. Even the smallest guy was a 10.

How was that even possible?

The adrenaline from earlier had dissipated once she was dropped there. Her sharpened senses were dulling by the second and exhaustion took over her fright.

“You lose, Feitan!”

“Haha, loser!”

Her eyes drooped as her vision blurred.

“Fuck you, bastards!”

“Oi, don’t get pissed. We won fair and square!”

Then her eyes closed.

The cold crisp air caressed Yu’s barely conscious body and stirred her senses to awaken. Her arms were numb from being asleep for too long and pins and needles stabbed her from the tips of her toes up to her knees.

“Ugh…” Yu groaned. Her brows knitted together when a splitting headache hit her head.

“Finally up?” She jolted at the irritated and rough voice from beside her. It was the new guy with the 10.

“Yea…” She grimaced and held her head. “Where are we?” They were in a simple room with the basic furniture for a bedroom. Looking around, she found biscuits and a cup of water on the bedside drawer and a growl echoed from her stomach coincidentally.

“Take it.” The guy said before she could say anything. “Prepared for you.” He was playing with his phone. Yu knew it to be one of the trending moba games, Moba Saga. She played it frequently at home and learned about the heroes as well. She looked away immediately seeing how bad he was at handling a basic hero. Her tongue might be the death of her if she wasn’t careful.

She drank a bit of the water first then ate the biscuits then drank the rest of the water. While doing this, she couldn’t stop her eyes from wandering to the screen and her face grimacing every time he made a wrong move.

Maybe he noticed her peering over because he handed the phone to her when his team lost the game.

“Try?” He said, but his words were opposite to the emotion in his eyes. Still, Yu was bored and her only company at the moment was this psychopath.

It’s not like she had a choice.

She shook her head. “I’ll just watch.” He hummed in satisfaction, to which Yu tried hard not to visibly roll her eyes at, and continued to play another PVP game. This time, she didn’t shy away from watching and leaned over to see the game.

He was using another basic hero this time, a jungler. Yu tried not to tell him what to buy, but it was just at the tip of her tongue whenever he just pressed a random item that had good stats. Barely 8 minutes in the game, he must’ve noticed her oozing anxiety.

“What?” He stated, rather than asked, in irritation.

Yu quickly waved her hands. “J-Just nothing. Keep playing.” Actually, she wanted to say- you could’ve dodged that- why did you buy that, your hero is physical not magical- don’t you know the skills of the hero???

She jumped in surprise when he shoved the phone into her hands.

“Then play.” His brows knitted in irritation. He actually looked cute, but the looming 10 was what made her listen to him. While playing, she began to take out one item at a time and replaced it with what she usually bought. In the 5 minutes she was playing, she got a triple skill and two double kills that scored the team their victory.

“Nice.” She muttered, completely forgetting the man beside her. She was about to play again when he snatched the phone from her hands.

“You know the game?” He asked before she could start a protest. Her lips formed a thin line, thinking there wasn’t any harm done, and answered him.

“Yea, I play it at home.” She leaned against the bed rest. “I usually play marksman or mid laner though. I only use jungler when everyone else is being stubborn.”

“Hm. So my play was bad?”

“Yep, pretty much.” She said before the question actually settled into her. In seconds, the man had a sharp knife against her throat. Now, she really was pressing herself deeply against the bedrest.

“So you think you better than me?” The man chuckled, or more like a manic giggle, and slid the blade just below her chin.

Yu really had to forget she just dissed a psychopath that his play style sucked, huh?

“Uh…” She felt the skin of her throat press against the blade as she gulped. “N-No? Y-You just don’t know how to use the heroes…” Her saliva was practically drying up with each word. “Y-You just started…” Seeing the gleam in his eyes, she knew he had been playing for a while. She choked out the “...right?” and prayed that somehow someway something was going to get her out of this situation.

And her prayers were kind of answered.

“Yo, Fei, don’t be a horny bitch. Boss needs her mental state ok.” It was the blonde, eyebrowless male. He was leaning against the open door of the room.

“Tsk.” Yu felt like he wanted to tell his friend ‘Fuck you’ based on his facial expression, but he did take the knife far away from her throat. She wearily rubbed her throat, the sensation of the blade still there.

“You.” She jumped hearing her name. “Let’s go. Boss wants to see you.” Her eyes flickered over to the new guy-why she insists on calling him the new guy? It was shorter than black-haired male-who got off the bed to follow the eyebrowless blonde.

She scurried to follow them as well. In the time she spent on the bed, she realized her work clothes looked awful- dirt, grime, and blood were stuck on the fabric. The memories of what transpired yesterday flashed in her mind.

Wait, how was she so sure it was yesterday? How long had she been passed out?

Her eyes stayed glued on the beige carpet floor while following the shoes of the men in front of her. They weren’t worried at all if she would run. Honestly, Yu didn’t think she could even outrun them.

In two left turns and one right turn, they finally passed a line that led to a room with wooden flooring. The crackle of fire greeted her ears as she looked up to survey the room. Her eyes immediately locked hard on the back plush armchair that was situated in front of the crackling lit fireplace.

A black question mark floated right above it.

She felt all color drain from her face at the sight. A question mark? What did that mean? This didn’t come with her ability handbook- not that she had one, but 1-10 were the only numbers she was told about.

There was no fucking question mark at all!

Yet it floated right in front of her, mocking her.

“Boss, she’s here.” She could faintly hear the eyebrowless man call out to the man called Boss. The question mark moved and she took a small step back when the owner of the dark question mark revealed his face.

Cold. It was as if every fiber of her being was turning into ice. That was the look in his eyes that was locked onto hers.

Beads of cold sweat trickled down her back when he gave her a small smile. Evil. It was as if Satan himself was right before her, chilling her to the bone.

“I hope my subordinates treated you well.” Even his voice was an icy wasteland, tempting to freeze her with every word.

“Y-Ye-Yea, th-th-they did.” Her teeth stuttered as if she was freezing in a pool of cold water.

“Are you alright?” His cool voice, the crease in his facial features, and his body behavior dripped with worry. But it just didn’t show in those cold, blank eyes.

Every moment spent with him felt like being chucked in a bucket of ice.

Her feet turned tail to run but a wide wall of muscle blocked her path. Heavy, panic breathing was pumping out of her lungs now. The screams, the pleads, the begging, and the cries were just lodged in her throat as she racked her brain how to get out of here, away from him.

Going by instinct, she jumped behind the large, burly man and cowered in fear.

“Boss, I think you scared the shit out of her.” The burly man chuckled showing a gleam of his canine teeth.

“Hm…how curious.” The boss’ smile dropped as he held his chin deep in thought. “Well, Miss Nadmi, I apologize for scaring you, but you have something that we are interested in.”

Interested in?

Her hands were still shaking and her breathing was still heavy, but if she didn’t answer him, all other eyes on her would make sure she would. And Yu didn’t want to tread to that scenario.

After licking her cold, chapped lips, she hesitantly answered. “B-Be specific.”

The decapitated heads of her team leaders, the dead bodies of her co-workers, and the horrified scream of her co-manager was fresh in her mind. But the soft meow of Steve, her little kitten, overpowered the dreadful event.

“An antique book, that had just been recently found, was logged in by your company a few weeks ago. The book is called the Dark History. I’m sure you’re familiar with it.”

She was, but not because of her company. She had just curiously searched for it when she saw it to be one of the interesting artifacts wanted by Spectrum. What he said even matched the time she was looking into it.

It was all her fault they even went there.

“Yes… But all I did was search for it in the listings- that’s the furthest I went.” Why? She wanted to ask, but bit her tongue.

The boss smiled. “Well, you see, just after that, it disappeared from the stocks of all markets. Right after you had searched for it.”

A chill ran down her spine from those words. Was he saying that she bought it?

“That book cost like 10 billion jenny- that’s more than 100,000 times my salary for 10 years, maybe even more.” She spat out her thoughts in shock. “A-All I did was check the description, the price, and ask for details from the seller that wasn’t covered in the description.” She clamped her mouth shut immediately. The temperature in the room somehow rose in heat after that.

“What kind of details?” He was still smiling.

Creep.

She gritted her teeth, the chill still on set on freezing her from inside. “The pages of the book, what it was made of, the author…”

“Pages?” The boss cut her off.

“Yes, the original Dark History is divided into sections of the history that was deleted from the world, categories filled of the forgotten past, and are then compiled into a specific set of pages of 777. If the pages are more or less than 777, it is a mere fake copy that wouldn’t sell a jenny.”

“You’re very informative about the book.”

Yu nodded frantically. “My dad was an avid collector of information for stuff like that. But he would go on and on and on about just the Dark History and how if in the hands of a powerful person, they’d be able to bend countries to their will.”

“Is your father still alive then?”

“Yes? He’s in his late stages of Alzheimer’s so even if you wanted to get information from him- you wouldn’t be able to.”

“And how did the seller reply to your questions?”

“He didn’t. I actually forgot about the book until…” Yu swallowed the thick glob of saliva down her throat, realizing just how much she just said. “...you asked.”

There was a long brief of ringing silence after that. The boss held his chin in deep contemplation. Yu was holding her breath wondering if she was dead now or dead later.

Was she useless now? Were they going to get rid of her now that she gave them the information? She couldn’t go just yet! Steve was waiting for her at home! He must be starving and...

“I guess you are free to leave now.”

“Oh God, please let me just give my cat to my parents so they can find a new owner for him!” She cried out and clasped her hands together as if in deep prayer.

A few chuckles and laughs echoed throughout the room. Yu was shaking and jittering like a fallen leaf off a branch that she didn’t find the time to feel embarrassed.

“She’s a riot. You’re letting her go that easy, boss?” The samurai, one of the 10s laughing, said.

The boss chuckled. “Yes. Miss Nadmi, you are free to leave. Don’t worry, my subordinates won’t harm you once you leave.”

Yu blinked slowly. Seeing that they were all just staring at her, was it true? She nodded slowly and muttered a soft breath of ‘ok…’ and left. The building she was in was an abandoned apartment complex that was beginning to decay from lack of use. It was already dark, maybe midnight? Meaning she had been unconscious for more than 12 hours.

She ran and ran until she was out of breath. As she was about to check her phone, she realized she had lost her bag and everything in it.

Still, it was better to be alive.

She was glad to find out that they didn’t actually take her to someplace far off from where her company was so she could find her way home easily.

People that were still wondering about at this time gave her odd looks, most likely from her awful and bloody appearance, but she just wanted to go home and check on Steve. Thoughts of calling the police, her parents, a hospital as a matter of fact- were all thrown out of the hill just thinking of Steve.

He must be starving, scratching and destroying anything and everything just looking for her. The thought made her tear.

It didn’t take long for her to arrive at her subdivision. Thankfully the guard was passed out, asleep, so she could go in without questions. She cursed the heavens above remembering her keys were in the bag, but she climbed up to the 2nd floor of the house knowing she had left the window unlocked in a certain way that would only open in a certain pattern.

“Meow.” The tears clouded her eyes seeing her little kitten at the doorway of the room she entered. Steve must’ve heard her and rushed to greet her. Steve quickly jumped into her arms and purred as she cried happily.

“Steve! I’m home, I’m home.” She hugged and kissed her kitten that smelled awfully like her detergent and perfume, but who cares- she could clean it up.

“Mrow...mm…” The little kitten purred against the spot on her chest that wasn’t spotted in dried blood.

“Yes, yes, I’ll get you food.”

The mess Steve made was grandiose. Yu didn’t know how he managed to spill all of her detergent onto the kitchen floor when it was originally in the upper cupboard in her downstairs bathroom. Her perfume, which was her mistake for leaving there, had fallen off the table and spilled its contents on her living room carpet.

She ignored that and prepared him his food. Steve happily ate and drank his warm milk, purring happily.

Thankfully, the little kitten had done his duties in the various litter boxes around the 1st floor.

“Right, right...I gotta call mom so that I’ll drop you off there…” Yu murmured as she dialed her parents’ number on the telephone.

After a few rings, an exhausted, hoarse voice spoke. “Hello…? Nadmi residence...this is their caretaker...ughh...speaking.”

“Yal! Oh god, I’m going to be heading over there in half an hour, okay? I need to drop Steve over. Something happened, I can’t tell what, but Steve can’t stay with me right now.”

“Is it your supervisor or that other supervisor this time?” The exhaustion in her voice dissipated and became serious.

“N-No, not like that.” She pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Did you drink too much milk again? You know that’ll send you straight to the hospital rather than the toilet.”

“Not that either! Just…I’ll be there ok?”

“Okay, Yu. See you.” The call ended and Yu hurriedly washed up. She prepared everything Steve needed from his bath soap down to his little pajamas. The little kitten had finished his business in the litter box when she finished packing everything.

“Ok. Ok.” Yu looked down at the notebooks and papers strewn about and grabbed them as well putting them in a separate bag for herself.

“Mrow?”

“Come here.” Yu picked Steve and put him in his little bag. Time was dwindling for her. Did they really think she wouldn’t notice them? Their bright 10s were clear from everywhere, even if they were greatly hidden. Their 10s could be spotted.

There was no way they’d just let her go so easily.

She gave Steve one last kiss before escaping through the back door. Yal would notice something’s wrong and check her home so Steve was going to be safe at the least.

Yu was sprinting as fast as she could without any sign of direction. She ran into the dark city with the stinking alleys and quiet roads while clutching the bag to her side. It held documents, notes, and pictures about the various antique books her dad researched, including that of the Dark History.

And it wasn’t something she wanted to sell her life for.

They were closing in on her but not going so far as to reveal their position. This was one of the gratifications of having the ability to see the numbers. Their 10s were bright in the darkness.

Finally, she stopped in an empty alleyway with no windows and no doors and turned to her stalkers.

“Right. You guys have been following me for a long time now. Come on out.” She said this oh so coolly, despite her nerves getting all bundled up into bits.

“Huh, I didn’t think you’d notice us…” A deep, southern voice spoke in the darkness. Two burly men stepped out into the light and revealed their presence. The bright, yet ominous 10 loomed over their heads.

Yu felt a bead of sweat trickle down her brow as her eyes widened in shock. Ok, she was expecting the people that had killed everyone in her company- not some unfamiliar people.

Now, she became unwilling to share the documents in her bag.

“You see, little girl, we’re curious as to why the Spider let you go.” The other one spoke in the same southern accent.

Spider?

“They don’t normally let anyone just leave so you must’ve escaped.” The deeper one said and revealed a large axe from his back. “Just answer a couple of our questions and we’ll let you be on your way.”

“I-I will…” Yu stuttered out and took a step back when they took a step towards her. “Just stay where you are.”

“We ain’t gonna hurt you, little girl.”

“We’re 4-star Blacklist hunters- our boss asked us to take care of the Spider. They must be pretty weak for you to be able to escape.”

Wow, what a day for her. Spider? Blacklist Hunters? What the hay were they even going on about?

“You were ordered to get them, not me.” She clarified with a scrunch of her brows.

The bigger burly man laughed. “We have little to no information on them, sweetheart. No one’s seen them and live to tell the tale.” Yu gulped at the darkness in their eyes. “And then there’s you.”

Yu was about to spout the information they wanted, hoping for the best, like before with the ‘Spider’, but then a question mark appeared right behind them.

Her jaw slacked. It didn’t hold the same ominous presence as the boss but it still made her feel off inside.

“What are you looking at, little-” Yu squealed when a bunch of cards lodged itself into the smaller burly man’s face and his body dropped onto the ground like a sack of potatoes.

“What the fu-?!” The other man faced the same fate and dropped to the ground too.

Her legs were practically jelly and being unresponsive despite her brain screaming her to run right now.

The question mark morphed into a 7 right after, making her eyes widen in surprise.

“Well, the little kitten looks quite surprised.” Yu gasped when the 7 flashed from the darkness and by her side. “The Boss told me to follow you but I didn’t expect you to have any company.” Goosebumps fleshed out on her skin at the toothy grin of a clown.

A clown?

“Wh-What…” She began but felt a sharp stab in her chest. She looked down to see a card, a queen of clovers, as she began to lose her breathing. He took the bag from her as she fell, blood coughing out from her mouth.

“Wh-...” Why? She wanted to say as her vision started to darken and blur. The clown gave a manic grin and flashed her a jester card.

“The Boss simply wanted to see how you turned out~” He cooed. Yu clenched her chest trying to breathe but air was just something she was not given. “You might’ve lived if you hadn’t tried to sell out the Spider. Your honesty really made the Boss curious.”

Hisoka chuckled to himself. “Oh, you’re dead already.” The light in the young woman’s eyes had disappeared and what was left was just a husk of flesh. He looked through the bag and hummed delightfully at the contents. It was what the Boss oh so wanted and maybe the other artifacts too.

His brow raised when a piece of paper that looked quite out of place jotted out from between the documents. Out of curiosity, he picked it up with his forefingers and looked at its contents.

‘Dark History - fake online listings. Don’t trust. Search for man name is Jehovah. Book not available in markets.’

His eyes widened slightly reading this and darted to the dead flesh of the young woman. Huh. A smirk curled at the edge of his lips before he crumpled the little note in his hand. What replaced it were red hearts to which he blew to the dead body.

“Fufufu, it's a good thing I didn’t let you live, weak little girl.”

Breaking News: Spectrum CEO is being sued for murder and the suspect of the missing employees of one of their companies. One employee managed to survive up until 3 am before her body was found in the city just nearby the CEO’s estate where he presided.

“Sh-She said she was going to be there in half an hour… I rushed to her home but her kitten was the only one there. The backdoor was wide open and...and…”

The police are still searching for more information on the missing employees and the gruesome death of young Yu Nadmi.

#phantom troupe #genei ryodan #one shot #i was bored #just to see how my writing's been #dying inside

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steve0discusses · 4 years

Text

Yugioh S4 Ep 27: Joey Punches Valon to Death and Seto Kaiba buys a Car.

My favorite character is back!

THE STORYBOARDER.

Like clockwork, the best storyboarder of all of Yugioh saw in the episode notes “This is the one where we shall Destroy Joey Wheeler” and he was like “Yes! this is extremely my thing!” and he’s back at it again, destroying Joey Wheeler with such finesse.

Like it’s so hard to explain in caps because you can’t see stuff move, but this animator is so good at the Yugioh vibe--he makes these character designs WORK for him (or her? No idea the identity of the mysterious storyboarder (or team of storyboarders--maybe this was one little group they freelance out to that worked really well together? I dunno) ) they really capture what Yugioh IS in a really unique way and still remain fairly economical in the animation sense. They do not hold back on any pose, and go completely ham into this ridiculous concept of a card game where you put on a special suit and punch eachother in the face.

Mind you, it’s still a card game and I skipped all that, but man...this is such a good storyboarder and I know that next episode they’ll be gone but for now I’m just gonna bask in it.

First off, Rebecca manages to figure out Seto’s 6-letter password in order to access billions of people’s personal data off of a satellite (we don’t get to find out what the password was) and although the storyboarder is great--they did make one fatal mistake.

The bane of every Californian who leaves California. LA is like a completely different country to San Fransisco but everyone only knows of two Californian cities and assumes we’re right next door to each other.

And it’s like...no, man. I don’t have Disneyland. Do I sound like a cheerful person that lives next to Disneyland? Do I say “bruh” and smile with the force of 1000 suns as we surf the coast on the backs of Lisa Frank dolphins? No dude, I have a strong Bay Area accent that makes me sound like a dry sarcastic asshole and I wear sweatshirts to the freakin beach because it’s very cold and filled with great white sharks.

(Sorry I just had to delete like 10 k words where I compared the entire cast to US cities by saying cryptic stuff like Joey Wheeler : Seto Kaiba is like LA : San Fransisco and like it was the biggest random tangent that only makes sense to me. Quarantine brain, y’all, I got SERIOUS quarantine brain. Anyone else? Anyone else just find themselves wasting like 2 hours thinking of which cities match the personalities of different characters on a show that came out so long ago? Man I need distractions right now.)

But back to what’s happening on the show, Yami is coming to terms with Joey’s struggle about as well as Yami does.

Which is mostly Yami saying “I’m pretty sure I killed Joey in that card game with Bakura in S1 and Tea had to bring him back from the graveyard so like wtv.”

(read more under the cut)

This was like 2003??? I think I keep forgetting when this season came out but we had printers at this point. We had google maps and a printer.

I don’t think I’ve touched a map like that since the 5th grade, where we had this competition to make a hypothetical road trip across America. It was Awful, and if you won the competition to get from SF to New York with the shortest distance, you would win something like pizza and a cool engraved name plate. We did not win pizza, because I could not even unfold this asshole map.

And now we have Google so like thanks, Mrs. Lambert, it was cool, but I’ll never use that information again. I hope. It was such a vivid frustrating memory that these maps still fill me with anxiety to this day, hearkening back to my 5th grade self just desperately trying to use string to measure how many miles the freeways across the midwest contain. (spoiler: a lot)

How OLD is this kid? Rebecca’s like secretly a 68 year old. She’s secretly Mrs. Lambert.

At this point we had a swell in the music as each friend of Joey joined in to announce their willingness to risk danger and save him.

Were they...not going to join him the whole time? It just seemed like a weird thing to bring up sooo after the fact.

Yami then turned to Duke and was like “but not you. You stay here” and he was like “Oh, thank gods.”

Rebecca stayed behind because the animators don’t want to draw her. Honestly, she’s incredibly helpful and they were mad stupid to leave the only smart one in the car. But youknow...this team loves being mad stupid. It makes the show more entertaining.

As they left we had a weird aside where Arthur Hawkins reflected “Rebecca is having just a REAL hard time trusting Yami” and it’s like--Arthur Hawkins! You’ve been dumping on Yami for like an entire season, that’s why. Like don’t pretend you’re all on team Pharaoh now. Why ever stop dunking?

But youknow, character development, Rebecca is going to learn the trust the ghost that possessed her crush/best friend that she’s had for 2+ years on a kid who’s been living in Japan this whole time who literally forgot who she was 2 weeks ago. You trust that ghost, Rebecca.

Or not. I mean you really don’t have to. You don’t owe Yami anything, dude. You don’t need to blindly trust idiot men, Rebecca. You just do you. Trust that instinct of “is this guy not trustworthy?” because yep. Chances are if you’re having that thought, that he’s totally not.

Storyboarder!

Storyboarder what ARE you???

STORYBOARDER!

after this followed a scene that I’ve seen gif-ed just so, so often that I assumed it was in a Yugioh Spin-off. I don’t know why I thought it wasn’t in this OG series, but I didn’t expect it to be here, in the Dartz season. But, it does make sense that this scene was under the best Storyboarder‘s direction because *chef’s kisses * it’s perfect. Every frame is a joy. The amount of sinister expressions on Mokuba, the level of sass coming off of Kaiba. It’s such a freakin shame that this man’s best work so far only lasts like a few seconds.

PS my bro looked it up and this car salesman has a wikipedia page.

He also looked up if anyone has shipped this car salesman and it’s our lucky day because this ship does not exist with any human ever in the world. Thank you, humanity. But, they DID make a wikipedia page so maybe we’re just putting off the inevitable?

I’m not even gonna cap it because I KNOW this is a gif you can easily download from everywhere but mm--this is a SOLID piece of animation. This animator is just flexing so hard, man. Yugioh did not deserve this much care and attention to detail.

Shippers rejoice, Seto Kaiba did briefly consider helping out Joey (before he absolutely drove away in the opposite direction)

(They’re clearly in the financial district already, PS. They are driving 5 ft to Dartz’ house.)

At some point Joey nabbed Valon’s card and so now he also gets to wear a bunch of stupid armor outfits.

This one is weird! It’s very Kamen rider-ish...but it’s a color scheme that feels very valentines day. It looks hard to wear. Good thing it’s animated.

I may need to capture this walk sequence though...if I still have the energy...the picture does not display his very energetic arms-in-the-air walk cycle I haven’t seen since that one Season zero episode. I dunno if it’s a reference to that, but I can’t think of any other reason why Tristan is walking like that.

This is when Mai finally shows up.

Valon lost his helmet during this fight, which lead to this:

What a good note to end on.

Anyways, I have no idea what my update schedule will look like or be, so if you’re new here and you want to start reading these from the beginning, I have a link for that:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

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plucky-belmondo · 4 years

Note

naruto is such a comfort anime for me, so yes pls tell me about the f/os you had!!!

Alrighty! :D *cracks knuckles*

Ten year-old me had odd taste back then, and you may think at first that I had a crush on one of the protagonists, but nope.

Young me fell for this motherf*cker right here:

I even made an overpowered OC (I can’t fully remember her name too well, it was, “Kyu...” something. xD) to ship him with; I also made an AU where Z/abuza and H/aku survived and the three of them lived away from society.

Other things I remember doing were looking up reader inserts involving him (Z/abuza), AMVs, making shoddy drawings (my older sister saw one and she made a comment about how off the arm looked), etc...

OH! There was this one time where his blade was made into an actual toy and my mom and older sister knew how much I loved him, so they came home from the mall one time to tell me that they saw it, but also said there was one left. Their solution? Hide the blade behind B/arbie boxes, drive back home to pick me up, go back, and buy the toy. xDD

Then that love faded sometime around 5th grade, and it was like that for a while now...

Until roughly last year, that is. Those feelings came back. I came up with a ship tag for him, had HCs, etc...but honestly, it was all short-lived. I realized that my feelings weren’t as strong as they were before, so it started to fade out, and it faded out even more when I fell into F/ire E/mblem Heck...:’D

On another note, I have H/aku as a familial F/O (adopted son)!! He’s currently vibin’ and stuff.

#self insert #self ship #teatime talk

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #320

we on a spree today!

Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy? Give me the happiness, please. What happened the last time you cried? I was having a PTSD episode. What happened the time in your life when you were the most nervous to do something? I think the most nervous I've ever been was in elementary school when I won the D.A.R.E. essay contest and had to read my paper in front of the whole 4th and 5th grade in the gym. There may be something else, though, there's just a LOT of instances where I've been an anxious mess. What was the greatest television show of all time? Meerkat Manor, man. I canNOT wait for it to resume, I believe this summer. What one thing would you be most disappointed if you never got to experience it? Maybe petting a meerkat, particularly a descendant of a Meerkat Manor character, Flower Whiskers in specific. I would cry, and that is a promise. I am just... so thankful for those little creatures. Because of them, I've met so many irreplacable friends and developed a hobby that was a way to dump my creativity into since I was what, 10 years old? What celebrity would you trade lives with? BITCH let me be Amy Nelson (Mark's gf) for OBVIOUS REASONS. Haha on a serious note though she is an INCREDIBLE person that I'm so glad Mark found. :'''') What story do your friends still give you crap about? Nothing, really. What is your weirdest dealbreaker? I'unno... define a "weird" dealbreaker. I find mine to be pretty reasonable. What’s the first thing you’d do if you were the opposite sex for one day? Well, look at myself in a mirror? See how I look. What is the weirdest quirk your family has? We have this thing where we say "I love you mostest period" at random to imply we love the other person more than they could love us, indisputably. How old is the last person you kissed on the cheek or lips? On the cheek, it was either my niece or nephew, who are 4 and 6. The person I last kissed on the lips is 22. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? Not anymore, no. I don't wear jeans. Do you think you could live with your best friend? I would fuckin LOVE to. Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around? I'm most comfortable with myself around Sara. What were you doing when you found out Michael Jackson was dead? I was swimming in the pool while Dad was grilling lunch. The last person you kissed, was it a drunken or sober? Sober. Have you ever introduced yourself with a name other than your own? Online, I've introduced myself with my account name, but generally, I say I'm Brittany. Are any of your siblings married? I don't know about the half-sister I don't know, but two are married, and one is engaged. Do you use an umbrella when it rains? Not usually, no. When was the last time you had a lot of fun? A lot of fun? That's one damn good question. Probably not since I last hung out with Sara. The last time you cried, who was there to comfort you? I was alone. What was your most recent reason for smiling / laughing? I chuckled at something in a John Wolfe video. Are you attracted to the last person you talked to? Um, that would be my mother. So no. Do you like your middle name, or does it embarrass you? It's pretty, but I hate having it. It's one of the most common white chick middle names ever. Are your toenails painted? No; I don't paint my nails. When was the last time you couldn't stop laughing? Why? Probably a funny YT video, I dunno. Any ways in which you're very different from the person you love/like? We have some differing political views. Why did you first kiss the last person you kissed? The timing felt right and I love(d) her. Has anyone seen you kiss the last person you kissed? Yeah. Who was the last person’s voice you heard? Besides via YouTube, my mom's. Who do you get along with best in your family? Mom. Have you ever been kissed in a car? Yeah. Is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you? Oh, absolutely my mother. Has your phone ever gone off in the middle of a class at school? Oh god no, I'd die. The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? I never do. It adds oil to your hair, and mine is naturally oily enough. Do you prefer light or dark jeans? DARK. Do you have an item of clothing that reminds you of someone? Tell me about it, and the person it reminds you of. I have a good handful of those. When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? I just listen, usually. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yeah. Does more than one person like you? *shrug* You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? I fucking hate that my answer is "Jason." If your hair is long, would you ever think about having it cut short? Or, if it’s short, would you like to grow it long? As far as I'm concerned, my hair will never be long again. I love it so much more short. What if you were told that your life has to stay exactly as it is right now, and nothing will ever change? How would you feel about that? I'd... honestly probably kill myself. I don't know that with certainty, but yeah. I'd be pretty damn devastated. What’s the most expensive thing you own? Probably my snake. Name something you really can’t wait for? MAY!!!!!!! GIMME MY TATTOOOOOOOO!!!!! What do you want in your future? E.g marraige, kids… A great career, a healthy and permanent relationship, lots of pets, adventure, life satisfaction... Got any major celeb crushes? m a r k e d w a r d f i s c h b a c h Do you have any glow-in-the-dark items in your room? If so what? No. Have you ever stalked anybody? Yeesh, no. If you could be on any TV show, which would it be and why? I'll just hypothetically say I WANTED to be on television for this, because irl, I don't. Ummm. I guess That '70s Show, because I love the '70s, and it'd be so cool to have a big group of friends like that. What is your favorite brand of hairspray? I don't use hairspray. What is the last thing you tripped over? Our doorstep, lmao. Do you were glasses or contacts? If so what color are your frames/contacts? I wear black-rimmed glasses. Do you like stickers? If so what kinds do you like? Yeah. I used to collect them as a kid and put them all over my dresser. Do you like coloring? Yes. What is in your backyard? Some bushes and a shed. Maybe a tree. I've been out there like, once. Do you own a globe? No. What is your favorite wild cat? Snow leopards are the prettiest, imo. As animals in general, I find lions the most interesting. How many continents have you been to, and which ones? I've never left North America. How many continents has your best friend been to, and which ones? She hasn't, either. How many continents has your dad been to, and which ones? Same as above. Have you ever been so terrified that you felt paralyzed? Yep. What’s a place you have a strong emotional connection to? The community college I first went to. Particularly where Jason and I took his senior prom pictures. Who was the last relative you visited? Grammy, before she passed away. My uncle was with her, too. Do you ever wonder what kind of person you’d have turned out to be if a certain event never happened to you? Oh, certainly. I wonder all the time what would have happened if Jason didn't leave. I could still be horribly depressed, or dead, considering ultimately, the event led to me finding the help I so desperately needed. Or maybe I'd be perfectly happy with kids and know how to be an actual adult. I was only a teenager, and yet with him, I never felt more mature and just... capable. When you’re home alone, do you still shower with the bathroom door closed? Yes. Have you ever bought something really expensive and ended up returning it? I don't believe so. If you could have anyone’s singing voice, whose would you choose? Amy Lee is the brazenly obvious answer. What are your top 3 favorite genres of music? Metal, rock, indie. Same general category, I know, but it's almost all I listen to. Is there anything you’d like to say to your last ex? We're best friends, and I talk to her regularly, so I can tell her anything. Where did you buy your dishes from? No clue. We've had the same plates and bowls I think my entire life. Do you think Mars will be colonized in your lifetime? No. Have you ever been on a ship? Boats, yeah. I think ships are just the really big ones, right? Sails and all? Do you ever take intentional breaks from checking/posting on social media? No. Who was Van Halen’s better singer - David Lee Roth, or Sammy Hagar? David Lee Roth. He's an arrogant bastard, but boy can he sing. Which fictional character has the most memorable quotes? I don't know. Maybe the Joker. Do you watch The Office? Gossip Girl? Grey’s Anatomy? None of 'em. Name someone you know with a birthday in December: Sara! What color was the last vehicle you were in? White. What is your dad’s name? Kenneth, but he's just called "Ken." When was the last time you slept in a bed with someone else? Not since I last visited Sara. Do you have any indoor pets? Both my pets are indoors. How do you feel about teenagers claiming to be in love? It's entirely possible. I was; nobody could EVER convince me I wasn't. Are you dating anyone? If so, for how long? No. Do you know anyone with Down's Syndrome? I think so? What animal that is endangered is your favorite? Oh yikes, I don't know. I don't really know every endangered animal, y'know, and I love all animals SO much. Maybe elephants or tigers. How do you believe the Earth and life on it was created? I feel like there was SOME sort of ultimate intelligence that created the universe, but I don't know anything about it/him/her/whatever. Then I believe in evolution. Basically, some sort of conscious creation, and then let life do its thing. What’s your religion? I don't have one. You could say theism, but is that even a proper religion? Do you like your teeth? No. During my worst depression, I was very bad at taking care of them, and now they have a yellowish tint. Have you considered getting contacts that change your eyecolor? What color? Oh yes, I've wanted to have more sapphire blue eyes. Do you wish you lived somewhere else? Yes. Living in the suburbs just isn't my jam, but it works for right now. What’s the craziest color you’ve seen on a house? I think I've seen a pink house before? Don’t you hate the texture of lotion on your skin? Yes. What’s the prettiest cat you have seen? There's this brown British Longhair with beautiful green eyes that I adore on social media. Name's Smoothie. What is your favorite doughnut? Chocolate frosted or glazed. Do you have a hot tub? If so, where is it located? No. What is your favorite party game? Man, I don't even know popular party games, haha. Do you or your parents rake your yard? Neither of us do. No matter where we've lived, ever since Dad left, no one rakes. Do you buy drugstore make-up or high-end make-up? We always buy drugstore makeup. What’s the last good love story you read? I don't think I've read a love story since The Notebook. Do you own a lava lamp or disco ball? No, but I wish I had a lava lamp. When was the last time you went to the roller rink? It's been many years. Do you own a kaleidoscope? No. I did as a kid, though. Have you ever made an inspiration board for your room? No, but I absolutely plan to once I get a big enough board to hang on the wall, and my "office" is cleaned out. I want that room to be full of motivation. Who is the best-looking male celebrity? Take a wild guess. Where would you like to travel to next? Yellowstone. I want to spread Teddy's ashes there in an area with wolves to rest in his roots. Less importantly, I want to take looooooaaaaaaaddddddsssss of photographs. Where are three places you go to relax? Just my room, really. If you became famous, would you change your name to something exotic? No. What color is your favorite pair of shorts? I don't wear shorts, ever. List five items on your current wardrobe wish list. I've wanted a black, studded leather jacket since I was in high school. I also really want big, spiked leather boots, too. Then there's tons of band tees I want. Who makes great song covers on YouTube? JONATHAN YOUNG!!!!!!! GO!!!!!!!!! LISTEN TO HIM!!!!!!!!!!! Who is one of the best songwriters? Otep Shamaya. Painting or drawing? I strongly prefer drawing. Painting that shows brushstrokes or painting that looks like a photograph? The latter. The former can be quite stylistic, though. First thing you wash in the shower? My hair, but if you mean my actual body, my chest. Brown or white egg? I don't even know the flavor difference. Favorite time of year? October-December. Do you own a gun? I legally can't due to a suicidal history. Have you ever been in a castle? Excluding the Disney World castle, no. Are you a clingy person when it comes to relationships? I honestly am. Have you ever been bitten so hard that there teeth marks were there after? I mean, I've had hickeys before. Would you ever date a disabled person? (Be honest) Yes. If you found a baby randomly by itself what would you do? Call the cops and stay with it until they arrived. What is the most personal question you have ever been asked? I'd rather not repeat it. When was the last time you wished time would move faster? Literally every waking moment of my life. It's so sad, thinking about it. I'm just rushing my life away. Are there any owls in your room (as decor, of course)? No. If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? Sara. Do you enjoy hearing birds chirp? I do. Have you ever hiked a mountain? No. Where did you meet your first crush? School. Who is your favorite little girl? My sweetheart niece. What is your favorite song by the last band you listened to? Oh boy, don't make me pick. Does your best friend have kids? No; she doesn't want any, either. Where did you go the last time you drove for longer than an hour? The beach, I think. If you were pregnant, would you want a boy or a girl? Hypothetically, a girl. How often do you get fountain drinks from a gas station? Rarely, but every now and again. Who is your favorite character in your favorite movie? Mufasa. What junk food can you never pass up? Donuts came to mind first. But I think that's because I'm craving donuts, haha. Have you ever had a UTI? Yeah, multiple. I don't drink nearly enough water. I've had one so bad my kidneys hurt like a bitch. What's the last color you dyed your hair? Red.

#survey #surveys #questions

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fxkthatdairy · 4 years

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The Principal’s Office Part Three ~ Grayson Dolan

Overview: (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N) was the new 5th grade history teacher at The Dolan’s Private academy in New Jersey. She moved from across the country to teach at the school. On the first day, an unexpected visitor stops by her classroom to check in on her. What happened when they fall head over heels for each other? Check out to see.

Warnings: Angst, slight mentions of alcoholism

(Y/N) thought long and hard with her decision and finally responded:

Hey Grayson, of course I’d love to attend dinner with you this Saturday. I’d love to know more about you as well.

She laid in her bed waiting for his response like a high school girl who had just texted her crush that was on the football team. Her phone buzzed: One new message from Grayson Dolan.

Wonderful! I’ll pick you up around 7 Saturday night. I can’t wait, Goodnight (Y/N) see you tomorrow at work :).

(Y/N) plugged her phone in and placed it on the floor beside her bed, which reminded her that she desperately needed to go furniture and grocery shopping. She laid in her bed with her thoughts running rapidly through her head; Was this ethical? What would her mother think? What would her fellow employees think? She didn’t know what would happen but she shut off her thoughts when she finally managed to drift to sleep.

The rest of the week seemed to go by in a blur and now it was Friday afternoon and the school day had just ended. Her first week as a teacher had been beyond her expectations and she was in love with her new job and her students seemed to love her. She was packing everything that she needed to take home for the weekend which was a lot. She had the children take a quiz to see what they already knew and she had planned to take them home to grade them. So on top of her purse, she carried her suitcase that had her papers in. She shut her class door and locked it and when she turned around she care in contact with a sturdy chest.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you there.” She apologized to Grayson who she had just accidentally ran into.

“It’s fine. Here let me help you to your car. It’s late and dark outside and I don’t trust some of the people that walk around here.” He said and took her suitcase from her hands and carried it out with her following behind him. He walked her to her car and she opened her trunk from her key fob. She didn’t realize how late it was until she checked her watch. It was 6:30 and school got out 2 hours ago. The sun had set and the parking lot was extremely dark and it seemed that Grayson and her self were the last two people there.

“Thank you so much for walking me out to my car and helping with my suitcase. Have a great night Grayson. I’ll see you tomorrow.” (Y/N) said with a smile as she got in her car. She waved at Grayson as she passed his truck in the parking lot. She got home and took a shower. She then sat up her computer on her island and began furniture shopping online. She purchased a leather “L” shaped couch, a recliner, a TV stand with a cabinet attached, she bought a dining room table with chairs, she also bought a TV stand for her room and some dressers and night stands. She knew the money wasn’t a problem, her father had left a shit ton of money in her name and that was the only god thing he ever did in her life. The man who was her father had left her mother shortly after (Y/N) was born entering periodically throughout (Y/N) life. He was an extreme alcoholic who beat his wife and disregarded his children. The bastard died last year after being shot by some man that her dad pissed off. Her father had left her brother, her sister, and her almost 5 million dollars,a piece, what he called an apology for his past mistakes. Nothing would ever make up for the trouble her father put her family through.

After (Y/N) ordered her furniture, she ordered a pizza to be delivered to her house for dinner. She also did a load of laundry and cleaned up her floors a little bit. The pizza man delivered the pizza and (Y/N) are it before taking a relaxing shower. She shaved her legs and washed her hair and body before getting out. She braided her hair, through on a silk teddy night gown and applied lotion to her legs. She plugged her phone in and laid down. She sat up her laptop and watched Dirty Dancing before falling asleep. She couldn’t wait until her TV stand came in and she could watch the actual TV.

(Y/N) woke up around 9:00 the next morning. It felt relaxing not having to get up at 5:30 to get ready for work. She got up and slid on a pair of sweatpants and a loose fitting t-shirt. She slide on a pair of white converses and grabbed her purse. She decided she was going to head to the store to finally get her some groceries so that her breakfast, lunch, and dinner wouldn’t have to come from a fast food restaurant. She got in her car and drove to the nearest market. She grabbed a variety of foods from vegetables, fruits, meats, breakfast foods, some ice creams, personal items such as tampons, pads, deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, hair sprays, she also bought a new plant that was on clearance. It was a little cactus that reminded her of home. Once she paid and put the groceries in the car she headed to the Hearst Dunkin Donuts and got herself an iced coffee and a bag of sprinkled donut holes. She then headed home and unloaded her groceries, putting them in the correct place. By the time she was done putting away all of her groceries, it was only 12:00. She decided to take a quick hour nap, watch a few quick episodes of her favorite show and by the time she watched the last episode it was 5:00, so she decided to start getting ready for her dinner date. She plugged her phone in to charge and hooked up her phone to her Bluetooth speaker to listen to music as she got ready. She unbraided her hair and she styled it into a cute curly ponytail and hair sprayed it done. She did a little makeup not too much because she didn’t want to look fake on her date. The makeup she did wear was a very sheer foundation, she filled in her brows, highlighted her face, did a simple nude eyeshadow look, winged liner, mascara, and a pretty nude pink lip shade. She then searched her closet looking for the perfect outfit. She settled for a black off the shoulder top and a pair of dark jeans with a pair of black heel. She but on some simple jewelry and by the time she was done it was 6:45.

She had 15 minutes left before Grayson said he was going to be here so she made sure she had her purse and phone. It was 6:55 when her door bell rang and she answered the door. Grayson stood there with a bouquet of a mixture of sunflowers and roses. They were her favorites. He was wearing a white button up with some dark jeans and a leather jacket.

“I brought you some flowers. I saw them in some of you pictures and assumed they were your favorites. I hope you like them.” He said and handed them to you.

“I absolutely love them. They remind me of home. Thank you so much. Let me put them in a vase real quick. Come on in. Sorry it’s still empty. I just bought some new furniture.” (Y/N) said and walked into her kitchen to grab a vase. She placed the flowers in the vase and added some water in the vase and placed them in the middle of the kitchen island.

“They look absolutely beautiful. Thank you again.” She said as she grabbed her purse.

“You’re welcome. Let’s head there do we can get our reservations.” He said and took her hand. She locked the door of her house before walking with Grayson to his car. His car was beautiful actually. It wasn’t the normal truck he drove around. It was a baby blue Porche. Grayson held her hand all the way to the car and he opened the door for her and waited for to get in and shut her door. He got in on the drivers side and buckled in and started the car. (Y/N) buckled in and placed her purse in the floor board and crossed her legs. In the background faintly played some Kid Cudi music.

“You’re a fan of Cudi too?” She asked as she looked out the window.

“Yeah, I’ve liked his music since I was a teen. I didn’t expect you to like Cudi.” He said with a smile. Damn his dream girl really was real.

“He’s one of the few artists of today’s music that I’ll listen too. Other than that it’s all 80’s music for me.” She said with a laugh and smile. She could picture hours worth of conversations between the two. She didn’t even realize that they had pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. Grayson parked the car and ran around to open the door for her. She got out and grabbed her purse. Grayson linked hands with her and walked into the restaurant.

“Welcome to Juliane’s, how can I help you.” The waitress asked as the two of them came in.

“Reservations for Dolan please.” Grayson said and the lady nodded and grabbed two menus and silverware and led us to the back where there was a nicely set up booth. (Y/N) sat on one side and Grayson sat on the other.

“May I get you two anything to drink?” She asked.

“Do you drink wine? If so what kind?” Grayson asked (Y/N) quickly.

“A little bit and red wine.” She said.

“Two glasses of your finest red wine please?” He asked and the lady nodded and went to get the drinks. (Y/N) looked through the menu and found what she wanted.

“So tell me more about yourself (Y/N). You have my undivided attention.” He said and sipped on his wine.

“Well I was born and raised in a small town in Oklahoma. I have an older sister named Jaclyn and an older brother named Trenton. I’m the baby of my family, when growing up it was just my mom, my sibling and I. As a child, I was always fascinated by history and had my mom make road trips through historical towns so that I could read and learn. I went to college at Oklahoma University on a full scholarship ride. I have two tattoos: one on my back and that’s a sunflower and I have a butterfly on my ribs. My favorite color is yellow and I have a fascination with everything 70’s,80’s, and 90’s. That’s about the general outline on myself. What about you Grayson?” She said with a smile.

“Well I was born and raised here in New Jersey. I have a twin brother named Ethan and an older sister named Cameron. My father and my mother raised us and my father passed away a few years ago to cancer and left my brother and I in charge of the schools. My brother took the high school and I took up the other. My sister has an art degree and sometimes comes and teaches at the school but she has her own studio downtown. My mother is a hair stylist. I’m allergic to almost every single animal except birds, fish, and some reptiles. I have too many tattoos to count and my favorite color is green. If you don’t mind me asking, where is your dad?” He said.

“I’m sorry about your dad. My dad was murdered last year but I didn’t know him very well. He wasn’t really in my life and when he was it was good.” She said. The lady came and took their orders and they continued looking.

“Are you in any relationship?” He asked curiously.

“Nope and never have been. It’s always been education with me.” She said and sipped on her wine.

“I haven’t been in one for a while. I told myself that I was going to wait till I found the perfect one for me.” He said. What she didn’t know was the Grayson thought that was her. The waitress brought there food back and they made small talk while eating. When it came time for them to get ready to leave (Y/N) began pulling out her wallet to pay. Before she could even get her card Grayson had already given the lady his card.

“Don’t worry about it (Y/n). It’s my treat.” He said with his breathtaking smile.

“Thank you so much tonight. I’ve really enjoyed this.” She said with a smile as the lady brought back Grayson’s card. (Y/N) and Grayson grabbed their things and got up and left. As they were sitting in the car Grayson asked, “Do you mind if I take you somewhere? It’s a surprise so you have to trust me.”

“I trust you Grayson. I have nothing else to do tonight, I’m all yours.” She said with a smile. Twenty minutes later they pulled into an empty parking lot near the beach. There was a long boardwalk with a gorgeous lighthouse at the end of the boardwalk. He opened the door for her and took her hand. By now the sun had set and the wind started picking up and she shivered. Grayson slipped off his jacket and placed it on her arms.

“Thank you.” She said and he took her hand and began waking down the boardwalk. The waves crashed against the shore and it sounded beautiful. The lights along the boardwalk were gorgeous. They walked to the end of the boardwalk and she leaned against the rail staring out into the ocean.

“It’s beautiful here.” She said with a smile.

“You’re even more beautiful.” Grayson said with a smile and turned her around to face him. His hands were rested gently on her waist and he leaned down and gently kissed her. Her heart and stomach exploded in butterflies. He pulled back and spoke, “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over m-“ before he could finish his sentence she kissed him to shut him up.

“Don’t apologize Grayson. I enjoyed it. I enjoy you. You make me feel like I’m a new person.” She said with a smile and placed her hand on his chest.

“Good because I’m not letting you go. You’re my one I just know it.” He said with a smile and leaned down to kiss her again.

Grayson walked her back to his car and decided to take her home since it was now almost 10:00. He walked her up to her front door.

“I’ll see you when your furniture comes in so that I can help. I’ll also bring my brother so you can meet him and he can help. I enjoyed tonight (Y/N). I can’t wait till our next date out.” He said with a smile and leaned down and pecked her lips.

“Thank you for tonight Grayson. I enjoyed it too. I’ll text you tomorrow when the items get shipped in. Text me when you get home please so that I know you made it home safe please.” She said as he pulled away. She took off his jacket and handed it back so that he wasn’t cold. She pecked his lips one last time and shut the door. As soon as the door shut and he was in his car, she freaked out. Her boss was in love with her and she was in love with him. He KISSED her. She was so whipped over him it wasn’t funny. She hopes this doesn’t affect her job and that she isn’t going to be judged even though there are going to be those people she didn’t care at the moment. She walked to her bathroom and wiped her makeup off and washed her face as well as brushed her teeth. She changed into her pajamas and brushed out her hair. She laid down in bed and waited for Grayson to text her that he was home safe and then as soon as he texted her that she fell asleep reliving her night over and over in her head.

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Here is part three 😊 I was able to write this today because I was trapped in a car for 8 hours and had time to write. I hope you guys enjoy and part four will be out in a few days 🙂 if you guys have any requests, concepts, or blurbs you are welcome to send them to me. Also if you would like to be added to the tag list let me know 😊💛

Tags: @pineappledols @frickin-bats @graysavant @sweet-dolans

#grayson dolan fic #grayson dolan au #grayson dolan imagines #grayson dolan fluff #grayson dolan smut #grayson dolan #AU #dolan twins imagine #dolan twins #ethan dolan

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apptowonder · 4 years

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On the Inherent Chaotic Queer Energy of “Cats” (No, Really)

In Which the Author Relates His Early Affinity For the Musical Cats, And Meditates in Rapt Contemplation On Its Effect On His Own Queer Coming of Age.

Ok, I’ll drop the Eliotian/Victorian pretense. But in all seriousness, this is going to be a long ramble on the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical Cats, because I saw the recording of the 1998 Broadway performance again for the first time in probably 14 years and it made me Feel Feelings (tm). Plus a comrade of mine expressed similar enthusiasm and it inspired me.

I -- First Viewing

When I was 10 or 11 years old, for a brief period after seeing Cats for the first time at a local dinner theater production, I was enamored in ways I couldn’t put into words. I was not, and have not really ever been a theater queer. I did a few plays up through high school, and stopped doing theater in college when I lost interest and found out it would take time away from gospel choir. But there was something about the way these characters moved, the charisma they carried themselves with that stuck with me. Unlike some of my queer friends, I don’t have the sense that “I always knew” I liked boys as well as other genders. As a tween, I felt very aloof from romantic interest except for one long-lasting crush on a girl in 5th grade that lasted through middle school. But as I continue to look back, I do think I felt a certain stirring in my gut for certain charismatic male figures, almost like an imprinting. Early affection and crushes manifested in a desire to be like the attractive heroes I admired.

I wanted to be Mr Mistofelees, the Original Conjuring Cat. I also wanted to be Munkustrap, the unassuming but brave and suave narrator, unofficial leader of the Jellicle Tribe. Honorable mention goes to the Rum Tum Tugger, whose rock star persona definitely exudes bi energy, but he felt less approachable to me. In any case, though I didn’t realize it at the time, something was very queer about these cats.

II -- On the Naming of Cats -- Munkustrap

Why I felt drawn to this character is hard to sum up. He doesn’t have his own song, his name is only listed in the program. But he does have considerable stage time. Serving as the narrator and Master of Ceremonies for the Jellicle Ball, right-hand man to Old Deuteronomy, and the only cat willing to go toe to toe with Macavity, he had a certain gravitas that I found compelling. He is humble, as I strive to be. Caring and protective of his family, but not overly aggressive. Confident, but not overbearing. He seemed that he would be the perfect gentle lover, someone who could take you to new and unexpected places but would also make sure that you were safe and loved.

On a deeper level, perhaps my identifying with this character was a kind of rehearsal for the years to come. Munkustrap served as both the boy I wanted to meet and the boy I wanted to be. When I came out and became invested in queer community and queer Christian community especially, I found myself slowly falling into the role of psychopomp and threshold guardian for some of my gayby Christian friends who were either newly coming out or newly trying to reconcile their faith and sexuality. I would direct them to apologetics resources, but I think my greater strength was in being a kind of MC who would invite them into a new queer reality, a celebration of the richness of life and a vision of the vastness of both theology and queer vibrancy. In a sense, I invited them to a Jellicle ball.* I would invite them to dance beneath the moon of our shared experience, and show to them that far from being incomplete or broken, they had their own power and beauty, were possessed of “Terpsichorean powers” which would serve as a mysterious gift to the wider world.

The first boy I dated was a Munkustrap. Gentle, but fun-loving. Willing to meet me where I was, but also encouraging me to new heights of intimacy, feeling and adventure. Though we eventually parted ways, we remained good friends, and I will be forever grateful to him for leading me from an abstract appreciation of my queerness to a deeply embodied possession of it that I can now live out for the glory of God and the good of humanity, like a cat has a deep embodied possession of its third and secret name.

III -- On the Naming of Cats -- Mr. Mistoffelees

“Oh, well I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees?”

Coming in at the eleventh hour to save the day, Mr. Mistoffelees employs his magical powers to rescue Old Deuteronomy when all other help fails. In the production I saw, he literally flies down onto the stage (on a wire) and proceeds to produce phantasmagorical phenomena and easily conjures up the kidnapped patriarch of the Jellicle Tribe from the place he’s been sequestered. He is flashy, elegant, flamboyant, coy, “aloof” but always fun-loving. Perhaps more importantly, in all the performances I’ve seen, he seems elegantly attuned to some deeper sixth sense. Beneath the playful surface is a deep power that manifests in impressive ways. The show relays his power through the metaphor of stage magic, but to me he also seemed to have a touch of something mystical, spiritual. I felt both awe and affection for that sensitive attunement, and how it was packaged in such a playful personality.

In my own life as queer clergy, I have sought to develop that kind of attunement. Though spirituality is a bit slower and more messy than conjuring, I have received compliments from colleagues queer and straight that I often speak the exact right prayer for the needs of a given moment. I write poems and try to breathe new life into the life-giving stories of my spiritual tradition, my life and the lives of my queer tribes. I’m always eager to come up with an impromptu liturgical service when circumstance dictates, and I draw on vocabulary from the saints and mystics as well as my own love of language and poetry. Playfulness is, to me, a spiritual virtue, and I love to offer inspiring surprises from the depths of the wisdom I have inherited from those who have gone before. When friends (especially queer Christian friends) are stuck in demoralizing binaries and limited horizons of purity culture, toxic theology, or other spiritual burdens, I will often pull a shimmering anecdote from the lives of the saints, or an ancient word of curiosity that opens up a new way of seeing the world. In a way, I’m pulling kittens out of hats.

Ironically but also fittingly, when I kept my queerness under wraps, my poetry was vivid but strained. Overwrought, often melancholy but rarely insightful. And I would pray when someone asked me to, but it generally consisted of generic requests that didn’t really mean much to me. I had to become fabulous and be willing to be in touch with the queer wonder of both my loves and my experiences before I began to really tap into that spiritual current that I am still learning how to channel for the life of the world. I’m still a beginner, and in my day to day life I’m fairly quiet and introspective. Aloof, perhaps. But I feel that my openness to queer joy, queer eros and queer vibrancy have begun to throw open a way to my own wholeness and the invigorating and revival of many of my communities. I don’t do this alone, and I am still learning from my many queer elders and forerunners. As I study and practice and bring forth vision, I continue to learn “from Mr. Mistofelees’ conjuring turn.”

At Pride a year or two ago, I met a Mr. Mistofelees of sorts. A pagan boy, playful and flashy, with a golden voice. He ended up being a bit too flighty for me, but he helped me find a bit more of my flamboyant side by getting me to do karaoke, and introducing me to the queer night life in a new city. In our own separate ways, we both helped each other I think be deeper attuned to that electric queer energy that flows into creativity, presence, wonder and resilience like lightning flows from Mistofelees’ fingertips. We pranced about our respective stages and conjured beauty for one another.

IV -- Memory (Some Thoughts on the Queerness of the Musical, and Some Final Reflections)

And what of the musical as a whole. What is it about Cats that struck such a chord with my very young queer self, and still does?

To me, it has an energy to it that resonates very deeply with queer experience. It delights in elevated pageantry, but it takes its own internal logic and way of being seriously. There is something about the mystery and spectacle of it that feels like a queer way of being. Despite the charge leveled against us by demagogues and queerphobes that we’re simply decadent, queer experience to me has always been about experiencing a heightened sense of reality, be that in adventure, sensuality, joy, beauty, celebration or pleasure. As the meme goes, before you say we’re too much, ask yourself, are you even enough?

Furthermore, the show is sensual and embodied in a way that many more conventional Broadway musicals aren’t. It delights in being just a little bit bawdy, while at the same time showcasing an excellence in the choreography and visuals that requires a good deal of skill and physical effort. In coming out and coming to know queer community, I began to listen better to my body and to be more comfortable in my own skin. To delight in the magic of touch and sensory beauty.

Finally, the sensuousness that undergirds the show also displays a very free flowing romantic and affectional subtext between different characters. Two cats may flirt or make eyes at each other, but there’s no expectation that they might not also catch the eye of a completely different cat in the next scene. They perform with a subtle erotic undertone that suggests both tenderness and hedonism, but all in the context of a tight-knit community that cares for its own. The fanfiction community for Cats presents a rainbow of different romantic pairings for various characters, and the lack of consensus as to which ones are “canon” speaks to the show’s affectational fluidity and dynamism.

In the end, the Jellicle cats all present a world within the everyday that is deeply queer and fluid, a “thin space” where personalities are larger than life and anything is possible. In this gay and mystifying romp, I was moved to a consideration in the years since I saw it of my own “secret names” as a future queer seminarian and priest (though I didn’t know it then). While it may seem bewildering to some, I continue to cherish it as a tribute to the great mysteries of queer existence, love and community. And that’s how you address us cats.

*Props to my comrade for extending on and fleshing out this metaphor in his blog post.

#cats #theology #queer theology #andrew lloyd webber #musicals #theology of media #theology of theater #biography #church #history #mister mistoffelees #munkustrap #rum tum tugger

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sluttyprincessinarizona · 4 years

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Holy shit, alright.

So, first off, hi. I’ve been having a tough few days because of various reasons that I may or may not get into in this post. I’ve been bottling up all of my feelings for too long and writing things down has always been easier for me than talking about them. Basically, this is me spilling a lot of my secrets so I can get them out of my head. I’m sorry if this isn’t what you expected or wanted from me, please skip this if you’re not okay with a post like this.

TW//: Talk of anxiety and depression, mental and emotion manipulation(?), mentions of death and suicide, and just dark shit in general. Proceed with a lot of caution.

Hello. My name is Malachi. That’s not my birth name but it is the name I choose to go by. I am a non-binary African American person that is trying their absolute best in the life I was given. Admittedly, I’m not fairing very well but I continue to try everyday.

I come from a fairly large family. 8 siblings in total, 1 on my moms side and 7 on my dads. My mom and dad never married, they broke up when I was five years old, and when my dad moved out, I stayed living with my mom. My mom is bipolar and manic depressant and my older sister, my moms daughter, was a spoiled brat until I was born. From very early on, my sister would constantly tell me that I ruined her life, that she wished I was never born, that she hated me, etc. Unfortunately for me, my mom wanted me and my sister to get along so I was always around her. She would read books to me and have me around all the time. Because of this, I’m pretty sure anyway, I grew up to be very gifted. I entered kindergarten a year early, and all of my school life felt easy. I was never challenged. Even the gifted classes I was out in were hardly anything to me. Now, I know this sounds like I’m bragging, but I take no pride in these words or my talents. I’ll tell you why later.

Growing up was surprisingly difficult for me. My mom was struggling to support both of us so we moved house a lot. We moved into our grandma’s house at one point. That was when it was the worst. My sister would constantly tell on me, but when I turned the tables on her, she’d beg me not to. She’d promise that she’d ever tell on me again, and then turned around and threw away said promise as soon as I let it go. I was the “problematic” child. My sister berated me constantly, telling me that I was bad at dancing and singing, which is still one of my passions to this day. It stuck with me. Everything does.

Fastforward to middle school. I had spent the last few years of my life with a less than agreeable sister and a difficult to approach mother. I’ll get into my father’s deal in a little bit. Elementary school hadn't been good either. I was at a higher level than lost of people, so I would occupy my free time with books. PE and outside activities never intrigued me as much as most kids, and so I was then deemed the class outcast all the way until about 7th grade. Up until 5th, I trusted others way too easily. Someone could walk up to me, tell me their name and say they wanted to be friends and within a week I'd be telling them all my secrets and family troubles. It was stupid really, but no one taught me any different. I was betrayed a lot, and everyone in our grade knew things about me that I'm embarrassed to admit. It was heartbreaking to 5th grade me. Why was everyone so mean?

I was always more of a tomboy, even as a child. The girls were too "girly" for me and the boys didn't converse with girls so I was, again, alone.

By the time I got to 6th grade, I had already adapted a system. Go to school, do well, read in your free time, go home. No friends, no acquaintances, nothing. It was how I kept my heart safe. And it worked for a while. Luckily, I moved schools when I came up with the system, so no one was too keen on approaching me in the first place. Then, 7th grade came around. And holy god, was it horrible. For some reason, I made a friend. Now, she was nice. Very nice. We bonded over Undertale, she was great. We're still friends to this day. But I kept her at arms length, cause I had just broken the system. That wasn't apart of the plan. Even worse, I made two more friends. And worse than that, I developed my first ever crush on someone. All of my plans were failing, my walls were crumbling. But when these walls fell, my heart grew weaker still, cause having friends isn't as great as it should be. Especially in middle school.

Our small group was riddled with mental illnesses, and we'd joke about wanting to die at least twice a day. It was how we coped, even though none of us made any effort to get better. It wasn't the best, but 8th grade was somehow worse.

Our group split right down the middle. Half of the group wanted nothing to do with the other half. And I was stuck in the middle. I liked everyone, they were all my friends. How could I possibly choose between them?

And then, as if things couldn't get worse, one of my closest friends in that group called me out. Apparently, I had become so dependent on them, on her, that I was becoming "too outgoing" and annoying, and she stopped responding to me. I had let her inside my walls and she still hurt me deeper than anyone else. I apologized profusely. I had gotten so used to not being a bother that losing her trust was one of my worst fears. It scarred me. I spent days sulking, just wanting to properly apologize to her. I wanted to hear from her, I needed to. Eventually she forgave me, but the damage had been done. That was when I had come up with a new idea. Another system. I didn't execute it, but the idea sprouted in the back of my mind.

8th grade was the year of my first panic attack. It was dumb, really. I woke up, got ready for school, and realized there was an assignment I forgot to do that was due later that day. I had had a perfect record. My homework was never late, and it terrified me to no end to think that my streak would end like that. I sat against the wall of my bedroom, covering my mouth and hoping that I was crying quietly, so I wouldn't wake my dad. No one to help me, no one to ground me. I was spiraling for too long. The only thing that snapped me out of it was myself. I had to go to school or I'd be late, that was how I got myself out of that darkness. Pathetic, I know.

High school was a different battle field in and of itself. Sophomore, Junior and Senior year were pretty good, so I'll only talk about Freshman year.

I was very scared of high school. All the middle school teachers said high school teachers were ruthless, mean and impatient. They kicked people out of class, out of the whole school. School had been easy but high school was different. The mere mention of it made me nervous. Oh yeah, I haven't mentioned it before, but I have pretty bad anxiety. It's primarily social anxiety, but it gets bad at the worst possible times. I think I might have depression but I'm too scared to bring it up with my therapist, so that'll probably stay unsolved.

Freshman year wasn't very bad. It wasn't worse than 8th grade at least. What really got me was the workload. Self discipline, time management, all the mature people things that I had to learn. It made my anxiety skyrocket. I would be finishing assignments during lunch, mere hours before they were due. I was a rightful mess, on all accounts.

I had a big fallout with my dad, and that just made all of my problems worse. I'll get into that another time, seeing as this post is already too long.

Finishing high school was a breeze compared to earlier years. I made a small group of friends, many of which are onto bigger adventures in life. I haven't started college yet, but I haven't talked about what it is that I really wanted to talk about. The thing that's really been on my mind.

I'm nobody. I'm not just a nobody. I'm nobody. I honestly don't know who I am. My entire life, I had forfeited finding myself in favor of catering to others. I relinquished my personal freedom to make others life easier. I listened to everything my parents told me to do. No question, no complaints. I bend and broke myself to make my sister happy. I gave her so much of myself that I didn't have any left for me, yet she's still not happy with me. My friends don't know who I am. My mind is constantly thinking, I'm constantly drowning in dark thoughts and harmful words but they don't know. I hide it from them, I hid everything from them. I told them not to worry about it. And eventually, they did. It hurt. It stung. But it was my fault entirely.

My dad called me a robot once. I followed orders with feeling or hesitance. He was right. My constant thought process is all of my responsibilities. All of the things I need to do for someone else. Taking a break is impossible. Mt family needs me to function properly so they can live freely and without regret. I can't do that.

I can't eat what I want without making my mom angry in some way. I can't say or do or buy or receive anything without getting into an argument with my sister about how I'm somehow the spoiled one. Hell, I take a nap for too long and my mom gets upset at me. My dad is another ball game all on his own, so I won't talk about him right now.

What I'm trying to say it that my life isn't mine. My life is spent caring for others. Listening to other people over myself.

I'm horrible at taking compliments. I brush them off, deny them, pretty much anything other than saying thank you. It's not that I'm not grateful. I'm just tired of them. I've been showered with praise all my life, but it's bittersweet when you're taken advantage of every day. Taken for granted endlessly. They start to fade together.

Generic, everyday praise infuriates me to the highest level. Don't you dare say that cookie cutter bullshit to me. You think I haven't heard "oh you're so smart" before?? You think I haven't heard "you're beautiful" before??? I understand that you're just trying to be nice, but fuck off with that run of the mill fuckery.

Compliment me

How about you say, thank you for trying so hard for us?

Or, I see you helping out. I appreciate it.

Or, god forbid, you cab relax for once, I can take care of it.

Because god knows that I need a fucking break sometimes!

Oh, take a day off? Unless you want to come over here and handle my 101 responsibilities for this day alone, I suggest you shut that shit up right now.

Telling to take it easy doesn't fix the fucking problem.

One thing I know I do have are some major anger issues. That's not easily solved. None of my problems are.

At this point, I feel like I am my problems. Without my anxiety and my anger, who am I?

Who would I be?

Would I be better? Worse? Who would I have become?

I don't want help because help would change me. Help would get rid of me.

Whoever that me may be.

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