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ahundredtimesover · 5 months

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I Want You to Stay (02) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)

Chapter Word count: 11.9k

Series Masterlist

Status: Ongoing

Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.

Playlist 🎶: on the way home

A/N: Hiii really touched with all the love for this story! I don’t know about you but this hits harder with all the boys away and we’re missing them so badly. But we’ve got this! 💕 But thank you thank you for all the messages (sorry I can’t get to each one!) and the interest and excitement. Hope you enjoy this one ☺️

And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight 🥰

PS. If I can’t tag you, pls fix your settings!

Despite hoping that he wouldn’t, Jungkook, in fact, pushes you further away on his second day on the job.

To his defense, it was partly your fault. You smiled at him last night - perhaps due to your delicious dinner that you didn’t even know was from him - and it disarmed him.

The words you uttered after just flew over his head and he just nodded, too out of it to confirm what you’d said. It probably had something to do about you not coming to his penthouse, because it’s Tuesday morning and you’re still not here. He’d expected that like yesterday, you'd prepare his breakfast, and after all that transpired, debrief after yesterday’s meetings and discuss the next steps. That was his routine with Lucas, and for all the things that you seemed to know and do right - from his room design, the doneness of his eggs, and his coffee - this was a miss.

“Aren’t you supposed to be assisting me from the start of the day?” Jungkook says over the phone, his tone sounding annoyed. “I’ve been waiting for you since 6:30.”

Your heart drops at his words, the memory from last night of him agreeing to you sticking to the same schedule you had with Hoseok suddenly feeling like some made up scenario. You remember telling Jungkook that you go straight to the office the rest of the week; you’d only go to Hoseok’s house on Mondays to prepare his clothes and brief him because he’s able to manage from Tuesday onwards. Your new boss, for some reason, perhaps misheard your question. And now you’re the one in trouble.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Jeon,” you bring yourself to say, your voice in a panic because regardless of who’s in the wrong, making him wait is not a good start to his day nor yours, and especially not to your already rocky relationship. “I can get a cab then head to you.”

“So you want me to wait for you some more?” He chides, his dry laugh making you want to throw your phone just so you won’t hear his voice anymore. “Just stay wherever you are, but I want the meeting minutes from yesterday ready when I get there since you’re not here to go over them with me.”

Jungkook hangs up and your head thumping on your desk is immediate. It’s barely the start of the day and you already want to go back home and probably never come back.

You left the office at 9 last night, knowing you were too exhausted to continue working on the annotated documents, and then got soaked in the rain on your way home. You planned on coming to work early - given that your boss didn’t require you to go to his penthouse, a claim you stand by - so you can continue, but now he wants the meeting minutes in an hour, and that isn’t usually due until three days later.

Neglecting the sandwich you planned on eating for breakfast, you work on your notes from the first meeting and then move on to the next. Every footstep you hear makes you anxious, and you breathe a sigh of relief every time you find out it’s not him. Every minute counts and you’re thankful for each one. Until, of course, you run out of it.

“Send them to me now and meet me in my office,” his voice echoes through the hallway that leads to his room.

Jungkook walks straight past you and doesn’t even give you a look.

“Yes, sir,” you squeak, quickly sending the email then scurrying to where he is.

You find him seated on his chair, his leg crossed over the other one as he goes through the notes on his iPad, his furrowed eyebrows making you sweat in worry. He doesn’t seem pleased. But from what you’ve witnessed so far, you doubt there’s much that pleases him.

He encircles words and scribbles on the sides, mumbling “incomplete,” “what does this mean,” and “this is not what I said.”

Jungkook sets the device on his desk and groans. He turns to you with a hard glare, and you clearly see just how displeased he is. Not that you have any defense - it’s your job to do what he asked in a manner that’s up to his standards - but you already felt discouraged in the morning, and your meal skipping caused you to lose focus in the afternoon, resulting in your less than satisfactory documentation of the meeting.

“Ms. Cho, do you know the value of these documents? And why I require them to be comprehensive and done on time?”

“Uh, ye-yes, sir,” you drag out.

“Why?”

It’s too early for this, you think to yourself. Clearly you know why they’re important; you’re just too tired to articulate the reasons to him. But you try, as the words form in your head. You’re about to say them when he stands from his chair and walks towards his desk, leans on the edge and then intently looks at you, as if he’s judging even the way you’re breathing or standing. And you’d probably fail, given how your body seems to cower in his presence.

“Because decisions are made through them,” he says, drowning out your thoughts with his stern voice. “I attend numerous meetings everyday. Decision points can be buried in the discussions unless they’re documented properly. And even when they are, they’re not actioned upon immediately unless I have access to them and unless they’ve been processed and verified. I don’t leave those conference rooms and forget about what took place. They stay in my head, that’s why I ask you to write them down, and that’s why I require you to meet me first thing in the morning so that I can process them with you, and let those points guide me for the rest of the week.”

His glare continues, so does his voice getting louder. “My job isn’t just to sit around and listen to people. I make decisions. And it’s your job to make sure I have all the correct information to make them.”

“I… I understand, sir. And I… I apologize for the oversight,” you stutter, still unable to look at him. “But about this morning, uh… you, uh last night, I—”

“Was there an explicit statement from me about not having you come in the morning?”

“No, sir.”

He lets the silence draw out, perhaps to let your own words sink in. He does have a point. You stand by your claim that you’d asked, and he nodded, but you should also know that such gestures aren’t clear responses, and that’s on you to make sure that you’re both on the same page.

“I’m sorry, sir,” you say with conviction. “I made an assumption when I should have clarified. And even then, it’s your first week as Vice President. I should be assisting you in all the ways I can.”

Jungkook watches your form, hands clasped together with your nails sinking into your skin. Your head is bowed down, unable or unwilling to look at him this whole time. He knows he’s at fault, too, but he’d never admit it; he’s not exactly the type to do that.

You stand there in submission and a part of him wants to apologize, but that’s not the type of weakness he wants to show, not when he needs to establish authority and more importantly, distance.

“I require Lucas to still come every morning because that’s the only time we can debrief about the previous day’s activities,” he says, making his voice calmer now. “We go through the minutes, clarify things, finalize them, and then disseminate so that people don’t forget. Teams collaborate effectively when there’s accountability and when timelines are adhered to. It’s my job to make sure they comply. And that means it’s your job, too. I don’t have to remind you of your roles now do I, Ms. Cho?”

“No, sir,” you respond, finding the strength in you to finally look at him, his hardened stare still unnerving you.

He uncrosses his arms and walks back to his seat. “My cousin and I work very differently from each other. It’s on you to adjust.”

“Yes, Mr. Jeon,” you bow in acknowledgment. “I’ll be at your apartment at 6:30 every morning and I’ll do better with my documentation and preparation of all the files.”

Jungkook just hums then proceeds to work on something on his desktop, which you take as your cue to leave. You bow again and excuse yourself, but his voice stops you as you open the door.

“Push back this morning’s meeting to 9:00,” he says. “And make sure you have something to eat. I can’t have you be unfocused again like yesterday.”

You survive the rest of Tuesday. You eat snacks rather than proper meals, and you find that that helps you more with time and focus. The meetings for that day are less intense, but with you still figuring out exactly how Jungkook wants the documents prepared, you stay up after hours and work on them for the next day, with you constantly going over the recording to make sure that you documented everything correctly.

You arrive at his penthouse at 6:30 every morning during the week. You make his breakfast while he takes a shower, which is really whatever’s in his fridge or pantry. He doesn’t seem to mind what you prepare for him, and you’re glad that he doesn’t find any more severe reasons to dislike you. There’s still the occasional correction of your minutes, but you chalk it up to him just being too particular. There are terms he uses that you’re not familiar with; he’s an architect by training after all.

Perhaps it’s why he’s as specific and detail-oriented as he is, and more visual than anything. Hoseok is a perfectionist like him, but the older man has everything organized in his head and then executes them, whereas Jungkook needs them all laid out before him. Whether it’s about a policy, a process, and especially a design, he makes sure they’re drawn out, and the way they all just make sense to him is immediate.

You suppose that’s what he’s used to. Plans need representation beyond words; he doesn’t seem to be the type to use much of them, in fact, unless he’s correcting you. But that’s what you’ve noticed. At some points during the meeting, he’d draw something on his iPad and send it to you; you both discuss it the next morning, with you finding the words for it for proper documentation.

But his mind doesn’t seem to stop, as you catch him on the way to work sometimes doodling some design on this leather notebook that he carries with him everywhere. Whether it’s the Arts Center or something else, you’re not sure, but you know that any moment he pulls it out, he’d spend a good amount of time on it before getting out of the car.

He remains distant and disengaged as you expect him to be. Unlike Hoseok who asks you how your evening went or how the trip to his house was, Jungkook doesn’t talk about anything that doesn’t concern work. And so when he isn’t talking about it, there’s just silence - whether in the car, in the elevator, or the walk to his room. There’s none of the laughter or the questions about how you’re coping with all your tasks, and there’s definitely nothing about his life that he shares. Not that you thought he would, but the difference with your old boss is striking, as you think of the times when Hoseok happily talked about the salsa studio he was at with A-yeong over the weekend or the movie they watched together the night before.

The comparisons remain in your head throughout the week. You try to focus on your responsibilities but you realize that you haven’t properly moved on from the culture and environment that you used to enjoy when Hoseok was still leading the team, and that has affected your work in obvious ways, and especially your approach to it.

There’s anxiety with every task that Jungkook asks of you, even if they’re things you’ve done so many times in your three years as the VP’s assistant. You find yourself constantly clarifying his instructions, prompting him to question your ability to take them. You feel like he’ll be displeased regardless of what your output is, yet you still end up spending too much time going over files that you forget to eat or clock out too late. You don’t get proper sleep either, nervous about what the next day will bring. You second-guess yourself constantly, and all the confidence you built in all your time here doesn’t seem to have as strong of a foundation as you thought.

So when you make another mistake the following Tuesday, whatever belief in yourself that you have left dissipates.

“Ms. Cho, where is the folder?” Jungkook asks, his gaze hardening the longer you look at him without a word.

You’re currently at a restaurant, given that your boss has a meeting with Mr. Hu, the owner of the company that produces quality materials that Jungkook wants for the Arts Center. This was scheduled just yesterday, which is also when he’d asked you to put together the rough draft plans and design that he worked on last weekend. The project is in its early stages but the plans are clear to Jungkook and he wants to secure this deal early on, especially with Mr. Hu leaving the country for a few weeks.

You finalized this last night and left it on your desk along with the portfolios that Yoongi and the support team have been taking from your shelf. Given the week you’ve had - lack of sleep and frustration more than anything - you rushed to get ready and mistakenly took a portfolio and not the folder meant for this meeting.

“I… I’m so sorry, sir, but I seem to have taken the wrong files,” you stutter, eyes on the ground as you clutch the portfolio for support. “They… they were on my desk along with others and I left them in the office.”

There’s a long pause before Jungkook speaks, the irritation clear in his voice.

“Do you at least have a soft copy?”

“It’s on a USB, sir,” you reply, nervously raising your head. “I left it as well.”

You try your hardest not to look at him, even if it seems like he wants you to, just so you can see the burning way he does it. Because you feel him huffing, you can see how he’s clenching his fists as he controls what he’s feeling, which is definitely anger towards your stupid mistake.

Jungkook clears his throat before turning back to the man seated across from him, his voice apologetic as he explains that you weren’t able to bring it.

“Ah, what a shame,” Mr. Hu says, judgingly glancing at you. “I was really looking forward to seeing your plans, Jungkook. I could’ve advised my people to check on the materials you want this early.”

“I’m really sorry,” Jungkook says. “Perhaps I can email them over to you?”

“Oh don’t bother, I’ll be chasing the Italian sun for the next three weeks,” the older man chuckles. “I’ll see you when I get back. By then, I hope you and your assistant have sorted things out and could give me actual information about what you want.”

“We will, I assure you,” Jungkook says, before saying goodbye to him.

He walks past you and you follow, with no words said as you both wait for the car and enter.

You can hear him panting, and you know enough that's due to an extreme emotion he can’t express. He won’t look at or say anything to you, and that feels more terrifying.

His phone rings, and not only does the person on the other line talk about what just happened, you happen to hear it, too.

“Hey, I heard what happened with the big boss,” the man says. “Did you really go to the meeting unprepared?”

“It wasn’t me, but yeah, what a mess,” Jungkook huffs, his head leaning back on the chair, his eyes closed as he calms himself down. “What did he say? Is he angry?”

“Nah. You’re a Jeon; he can’t be. He was just a bit annoyed because he was supposed to have a meeting with another client but he chose to see you.”

“Fuck. What an embarrassment,” Jungkook groans.

“Well, he does have high praises for your father.”

“And this is his first time working with me. My dad’s gonna hear about it and give me shit for it.”

“Just another normal day at the office, right?” The man laughs. “So, was it your assistant that screwed up?”

Jungkook hums his yes, knowing you’re two seats away from him, although he’s unsure if you can hear their conversation. For your sake, he hopes you can’t.

“See? This is why you should’ve taken Lucas! That guy was always two steps ahead of you.”

“That’s what I said, but when are my requests ever granted? Never. Another normal day at the office, huh?”

“If she’s pretty, maybe you can forgive them and just suffer through her incompetence,” the man laughs again. “I mean, she’s got to have some redeeming quality somehow. If she doesn’t, that just sucks for you.”

“You really enjoy making fun of my misfortunes, huh?” Jungkook huffs.

“Just sometimes. Not used to you not having your way, that’s all.”

“Well, nothing is going my way, that's for sure. But whatever, I’ll figure it out. Make sure Mr. Hu holds out for me, okay? I need you to help me this time.”

“Hey, I may laugh at your misfortunes but I always have your back,” the man says. “Good luck, VP. I’ll see you soon.”

Jungkook drops the call and you feel him glance at you but you remain stiff on your seat, unwilling to move nor look anywhere else that isn’t your lap. You’re glad that he decides to close his eyes for the rest of the ride, though, so you take your chance to shift towards the window and watch the buildings fly by, willing your tears not to fall.

You hold out until you arrive at the building. That is, until Jungkook heads straight to his room and asks you to follow.

“Own up to your mistake and look at me,” he says, his voice seeping with disdain.

You lift your head and meet his eyes, his gaze piercing right through you and you’re unable to move, to speak. But you try - a futile attempt, really - at appealing to the compassionate side of him, if it even exists.

“I’m so, so sorry Mr. Jeon,” you plead for forgiveness. “I didn’t mean to forget the folder. It’s been a tough week and—”

“A tough week?” he mocks, his voice getting louder now. “As if you’re the only one who’s had one? I come here and find myself doing your job. I spent the weekend drafting the designs because I need that deal early only for you to screw it up! My father’s been on to me about this project and I need everything done right but I can’t seem to because my assistant, who’s supposed to be assisting me, can’t even get the most basic things done. All you had to do was bring the folder. You didn’t even have a contingency plan of having a soft copy. Were you not trained for this role?”

You visibly shake but Jungkook doesn’t let up.

“Answer me.”

“I… I was, Mr. Jeon,” you tremble. “I know I’m not the smartest but I work hard and I—”

“You work hard?”

“Yes, sir.”

“In what?”

“In preparing your files and organizing everything for you and…” you try.

A month ago, you’d be saying these things and more with so much conviction. But all it took was one Jeon Jungkook to break you down and make you doubt every single skill you’ve developed and been praised for the past few years.

“And I can criticize each of those tasks in just this one week you’ve been my assistant.”

“I… I just needed guidance, sir, because it’s a new—”

“I need guidance. I need assisting,” he sneers. “My father wanted me to keep you because you apparently know how things are supposed to be done but you’re asking for guidance from me?”

There’s silence on your end and you’ve never felt as small as you do right now. The way Mrs. Byun abused her power over you and humiliated you during your first years here continues to be unmatched, but being treated this way by a man whose family you respect somehow hurts you more.

You want to give up now. You’ll lose everything if you decide to just quit but it’s not like there’s much left of you to go by anyway, given the week that you’ve had. But if there’s anything your mother taught you is that the lowest you can go is when you don’t fight for yourself, so you gather what little dignity you have left and look him in the eyes.

“You do things very differently from Mr. Jung like you said, and I admire your thoroughness,” you start, trying your hardest to calm the tone of your voice. “You’re adjusting to your new role with a new team and a new assistant that you didn’t choose but somehow you have to trust and that’s unnerving if you’re used to being in control of everything. With all due respect, however, perhaps if you let the people around you adjust as well, we would all find a way to work together effectively and respectfully. A little bit of compassion wouldn’t hurt, and it goes a long way.”

At his silence, you continue, digging your nails deeper into your skin to help you remain stable.

“I apologize for all the mistakes this past week. I know it has been unpleasant for you as well. I’ll do better, that I can promise. But if the way I work is not something that is up to your standard, then there’s only one thing to do. Me quitting would put you in a worse light; you can fire me if you think it is best,” you bravely state. “I can deal with the consequences.”

Jungkook continues to just look at you, unable to say anything this time. Perhaps he isn’t used to someone speaking to him like this. Maybe he’s finding the right words to hit you back and break you even more. The tiniest part of you wants to think you’ve softened him up a bit; hopefully he’ll be less angry at you the next time.

“Is there anything you need me to work on, Mr. Jeon?”

“No,” he answers. “Just hold off all calls for me for the next hour. I don’t want to be disturbed.”

“Understood, Mr. Jeon.”

You bow and head out the door.

Jungkook watches you leave, and the farther you become, the more he wishes you’d stay.

He’s unsure why. Perhaps it’s the way you spoke to him, similar to the way you did the first time you met over a week ago - with conviction and grace despite you putting him in his place. Maybe it’s him, trying to find the words to apologize without seeming weak, or to encourage you without being comfortable. The tiniest part of him just wants you around; he doesn’t know what it is about you but he finds himself feeling intense emotions because of you - frustration, fear, and an overwhelming feeling of sadness and regret.

He returns to his seat and glances through the window, the angle of his chair allowing him to see you outside, although he’s unsure if you’re able to see him. Either way, it’s not like you’ve ever looked his way anyway, so he feels a little safe doing this now.

You’re seated and turned away from the desk, with your fingers pressing over both your ears, as if you’re blocking out the sounds of the room; perhaps you’re blocking out his voice that’s probably still echoing in your head. He’d seen you do this last week, too, after you failed to show up at his penthouse in the morning. He thinks it’s your way of dealing with stress, a quiet one, in contrast to boxing like what he prefers to do. It’s the only time he’d ever allow himself to express anything, after all, other than getting mad at you apparently.

You finally turn around, but it’s not long after when Do-hyun arrives and takes your place, leaving him to wonder where you’re off to. He focuses on his work like he meant to do, opting to read and send emails while he calms himself down. His eyes always turn to your desk, though, and when he sees that he’s halfway done but you’re still not back, he decides to head out.

“Mr. Jeon,” Do-hyun stands up and greets him. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Where’s Ms. Cho?”

“She had to go to the washroom so she asked me to cover for her first,” she responds. “But, uh… She’s been gone for half an hour. I… I’m not sure what she’s up to but I can—.”

It’s at that moment when you return, and the way that both Do-hyun and Jungkook look at you that you know they can tell. You can’t exactly cry for 20 minutes and then expect to ease the swelling of your eyes for the next 10. But you act like nothing’s amiss, so you dismiss the younger woman and turn to Jungkook.

“Was there something that you needed from me, Mr. Jeon?” You ask nonchalantly.

“Just, uh…” he stutters now, taken aback by the casual way you speak to him despite your glassy eyes. “I’m meeting the CEO and President tomorrow to discuss the Arts Center. Put the initial plans in presentation format and send it to me first thing in the morning.”

“Yes, sir,” you respond, returning to your seat and not sparing him another glance.

You work on the presentation in between the other things you need to finish. You draft memos and letters for Jungkook’s approval, and it’s half past 4 when you enter his room to have them signed.

“I’m heading out at 5 for dinner,” he says as he signs the documents. “I’ve added points on the shared file for the presentation. Make sure to include those.”

“I will, sir.”

There’s a brief moment where you and Jungkook just look at each other, words swimming in your own heads that neither of you wants to say out loud.

You wish he’d offer an apology.

He wishes you’d say that you’re okay.

You want to tell him that the Arts Center already sounds amazing; you hope it turns out the way he imagines.

He wants to tell you that he won’t fire you, that despite how he’s been, he doesn’t want you to go anywhere.

But the moment passes and then it’s gone. You bow once more and then head out the door.

He leaves at exactly 5, merely nodding at you as he leaves.

Jungkook sees you again that evening, four hours later as he drives home after having dinner with Seokjin and Taehyung, the brothers he’d grown up with. The office is on the way, and it’s near the bus stop where he spots you, trying to catch a cab that someone always gets to before you do.

The rain has started to pour, and his anxiety builds; he was never fond of it, given the memory it holds. But it’s you in your thin coat that suspends that for a while. You’re clearly shivering, unable to get a ride, and getting wet from the downpour. You cross the street, seemingly just submitting to the weather, and you disappear amongst the crowd of people just trying to get home.

He checks his phone as he gets a message and sees the email you sent 20 minutes ago - the presentation he’d asked you to submit in the morning. This is you, making up for today, he guesses. He’s why you’re braving the rain. If he’s being honest, he’s why you’re suffering at all, and he can’t help the way his heart stings at the thought.

The convenience store is bright and dry unlike the streets outside, and that’s why there’s a substantial amount of people seeking shelter from the downpour that came out of nowhere.

You welcome the rain. It served as a distraction when you were growing up and your mother’s ex-partner would yell nonstop. You’d hide in your room and cover your ears like your mother taught you to do. When she was able, she’d stay with you and cover your ears with her own hands and tell you that it’s gonna be okay, that even if you can’t stop the scary sounds, you can drown them out enough that they’ll stop bothering you.

You didn’t think you’d ever do so again but you’ve done that twice in one week, and all it took was one Jeon Jungkook to lecture you about what your job entails. He didn’t yell, but his voice was still piercing, firm and low as if he reserves that intensity for instances of pure frustration.

That kind of thing takes a lot out of someone. It’s different when a boss is out to abuse their power and take advantage of you. Mrs. Byun made you do her work so she could spend her lunches out and then take credit for outputs without acknowledging you. She sucked up to the directors to overcompensate for not knowing how to answer their questions. And then she had the guts to embarrass you and call you out in front of the team for not being able to do your primary tasks, which was only because you were doing hers. It took a while but her incompetence caught up to her and her departure felt like freedom. But the experience with her was constricting, suffocating, humiliating. It was dehumanizing, too, as you went home to an empty apartment every night, feeling less and less of yourself.

But the way Jungkook treats you hits differently. You’ve survived the worst and ended up in a good spot under Hoseok’s leadership where you built your confidence. During those years, you felt capable, like you were trusted; you felt that your hard work earned you respect.

Now, you feel all that crumbling. You feel exposed, bare; as if you’re realizing you’re not that good after all. How you’ve been isn’t like you. You’re meticulous, analytical; you’ve sat in so many meetings as an observer and know how things work, how the directors think, and the kinds of outputs expected from you. But recently, you find yourself just lost, questioning everything all the time, and so incapable.

You let yourself feel the burden weigh you down as you eat a small cup of noodles and call it dinner. You walk down the aisles and pick out your favorite snacks, first eating the roasted almonds as you head out the door.

The rain has let up, with but a drizzle left this late evening. You catch the bus and munch on pepero and chocopie this time. You’re in your neighborhood by the time you tear open the frosted mini donuts. You’ve been mindlessly eating the whole time, but once you get off your stop, you start walking towards the community center. The public library is closed but something about sitting outside the door gives you comfort, just like it used to when you were growing up.

Your mom couldn’t really afford daycare. She’d spend her lunch break picking you up from school then dropping you off at a library where her friend worked; that nice woman always looked after you until your mom came back to pick you up. Some days when she wanted to take you away from the mess that was her partner, she’d take you there, too.

You read mostly picture books and colored on your coloring book and played with your paper dolls. Even as you grew up, you didn't really read; you just liked that the library was quiet, comfortable, that it made you feel safe.

Your phone beeps and you see a photo that your mother has just sent of her dry living room floor.

[From: Mom] it isn’t leaking anymore!

You smile, imagining her sigh of relief and the way she’s probably humming about the house. You decide to call her; another bit of comfort would definitely help.

“Hi, darling,” she answers after the first ring. “Min-woo went to the hardware store when he arrived in the afternoon so he could fix the roof. What a relief.”

“That’s great, mom,” you reply, wishing you were back home with her. “You can have a good sleep tonight, then.”

“I will. What about you?”

“I hope so.”

“Have you had dinner?”

“Hmm, yeah,” you hum.

“And where are you now?”

“Outside the library,” you say.

There’s silence that comes after, a way in which you both say things without words sometimes. Your mom is good at that, and even if you can’t see her, you know there’s love in her eyes. And even if she can’t see you, she knows there’s sadness in yours.

“So, work has been tough lately, am I right?”

Even without any confirmation, she already knows. She probably knew when you said that everything was fine after she asked how things were going during your visit over the weekend. She probably picked up the faintness of your smile and the way you fell asleep on her lap while you both watched TV and she combed your hair like she always did.

“The new boss is quite hard on me,” you admit. “He expects too much, asks me to do too much… I’m trying but I keep making mistakes. I’m missing things I normally don’t. I’m not like this, mom. I… I’m better than this.”

“Oh, darling,” she sighs, wishing she’d hugged you a little tighter before you left. “I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Maybe you’re still adjusting. That’s valid, you know? It’s only been a week.”

“Yeah, but he acts like he’s the only one who needs to adjust and that I just magically know how to do things his way,” you groan. “It… it just makes me feel like I’m not good enough. That I… that I shouldn’t be here.”

“___, you didn’t suffer through your first few years there just so you would continue to doubt yourself,” she responds. “You deserve your role, regardless of what he thinks. You work hard and that means everything.”

“Not to him apparently. Even if I work hard, if it’s not up to his standards, it doesn’t mean anything. I can’t even do anything about it because he’s the CEO’s son.”

“You can quit, you know?” She says after a beat of silence. “You don’t have to stay if it’s too much, and especially if it’s unfair. Just because you know you can handle it, doesn’t mean you should.”

The thought settles in your head. You did just tell Jungkook that you’d rather he fire you, which honestly terrifies you because much as he’s insufferable, you do need this job. Helping your mom over the weekend reminded you of that. From the health insurance to the salary, you don’t have to worry too much because you can finally repay her for all her hard work in raising you, in protecting you, in surviving for you.

“I know,” you sigh. “Maybe I just let the tough first days get to me.”

“Whatever it is, you shouldn’t suffer. And you definitely shouldn’t suffer alone,” she advises. “I’m glad you came over during the weekend even if for unpleasant reasons. I got to hug you even if I didn’t know you needed it.”

“I always need it, mom,” you admit. “I don’t have to say it. It’s the only one I get anyway.”

“Well, it’s because it’s the only one you accept,” she points out.

“True,” you laugh. “But I… I’ll do better. I’ll get my head straight tonight and treat tomorrow like my first day and you know, show him I’m capable.”

“That’s good. And you can come over again this weekend if you want. The storm should be gone by then. The girls want to go to the park. I know they’d love to hang out with you. If you don’t have plans of course.”

“You know I only ever have actual weekend plans when Jimin and Soomin visit me. But yes, I can take the trip on Saturday. If Jungkook wants me to do any work… screw him.”

Your mother laughs, only because she knows you don’t mean it. You know it, too. Regardless of how you think of your boss or your job, you know the value of your work, and you’re not one to sacrifice it for any reason.

“Are you feeling better, darling?”

“Yeah,” you smile. “The rain’s stopped somehow. I needed to be here. And I… I needed to hear your voice.”

“Good. You know you can call whenever. I don’t have to summon you with photos of a roof or grilled makchang or something every time.”

“I know. And I will. I’ll see you soon.”

You drop the call and start walking back home. Talking with your mom is the strength you need to get through such a tough day. It doesn’t change your situation; maybe Jungkook will still be upset with you in the morning but you’ll handle it, just like you handled all the difficult times before.

Your mother taught you something else - it was grace. You’d fight back if you need to, but you can always do it with gentleness; sometimes that works wonders, especially if you can’t afford to respond with rage.

You’re quite nervous walking to Jungkook’s penthouse the next morning.

Before he left last night, you were sporting glassy and swollen eyes, after all; it wouldn’t have taken much for him to know what you were up to by being away from your desk for half an hour. But you’d been too upset to think of what he would think about it, so you acted like it was nothing when you returned to your seat, took note of his instructions, and watched him walk out. No other words were spoken and quite frankly, you don’t know what either of you could have said after what transpired. It’s a new day, though, and like you told your mother, you’ll just focus on your work and try to get that old version of yourself back, the one you’d felt slipped away this past week.

You enter the front door - as he’d told you to just go in so you don’t disrupt his workout - and immediately hear the loud sounds of leather hitting leather. He seems to be aggressively punching the sandbag, with more evidence of it coming in the form of his deep and successive breaths that you can hear as you walk towards the kitchen. You stop on your tracks, though, as a pair of red laced underwear lays crumpled on the floor.

That definitely wasn’t there yesterday morning so it must’ve been from last night. You’re not one to judge; he did have a frustrating day that you caused and releasing all that stress in this way is understandable. You just wish he had the courtesy to clean up, knowing that his assistant would be coming but then again, you also don’t know if that’s too much to ask of him.

You don’t realize that you’ve been staring at the underwear until you hear him, his deep breaths in tandem with his steps. You walk towards the counter and set him a glass of water before he notices what’s got your attention, but he still does, as he stops at the spot where you were and lets out a grunt.

From your periphery, you see him pick up the piece of lingerie then throw it in the trash. You turn to him and bow in greeting, and Jungkook merely nods, the slightest of head tilts to acknowledge your presence, seemingly avoiding your eyes, even as you ask what he prefers to eat this morning. You’d like to think that in the recesses of his bitter heart, there’s remorse over yesterday at least, if not over the past few days. But you’ll take it; his silence is better than anything at this moment.

You follow him towards his bedroom, stopping briefly as you look around and make sure you’re not intruding. You’re unsure if the woman is still here, but he picks up on that.

“She’s gone,” he says, walking to his bathroom. “I never make them stay.”

It’s a part of his life that you’ve only heard of. The gossip that Do-hyun hears from the washrooms in the office may be true, considering his weeknight bang and the left-behind underwear on the kitchen floor. He still had some energy based on his morning workout though, and you don’t know why the thought of him fucking someone and then boxing in the morning is making you feel hot all over.

You snap yourself out of it, knowing it’s inappropriate and definitely not what you should be worrying about. He’s a stressed, obviously attractive, and rich bachelor; you’re not surprised he’d have women at his beck-and-call and be nonchalant about it.

You walk inside his closet and choose the shoes and accessories he’ll wear today before heading back to the kitchen to prepare his breakfast. He walks in 30 minutes later, and you approach him to fix his collar and his tie like you always do, now getting used to his natural scent with hints of jasmine and bergamot. Your eyes focus on the silk necktie, hoping you’re able to control your nervous breathing being this close to him.

He may still be annoyed at you and you may be invading his space, and the realization makes you step away quickly, taking his plate from the counter and placing it on the dining table. You open your iPad and go through the presentation he asked you to do, surprised that he’s already added a few things.

“Is the presentation final, Mr. Jeon?” You ask. “I see you’ve already looked through it.”

“Sort of,” he responds. “I woke up at 5 and reviewed it before my workout. Let’s go over them now.”

He looks through his iPad as he eats, going over each slide with you as if he’s practicing. The more he speaks, the more you envision the Arts Center and how he wants it done. The way he puts together the ideas into a coherent design is impressive. You almost see it as he does, and much as you thoroughly dislike him right now, for the sake of all the good things that this center will do for people, you really want him to succeed.

You remind him of a few more things before he finishes his meal, and it’s not long after when you’re in the car, the silence thickening the tension between the two of you once more. This continues until you reach the office, and you breathe a sigh of relief at the distance between the both of you now.

While you do feel better, the anxiety remains. You don’t want to mess up. And as you enter his room to give him papers to sign and you see him going through his presentation while the leather notebook he was drawing on earlier lays open on the desk, you find yourself also just not wanting to disappoint him. He clearly works hard and despite his treatment of you, you want things to work out for him.

It’s an hour later when you’re both walking towards the elevator to head to the conference room on the CEO’s floor. It’s just Jungkook with his father and cousin today where he’ll present the initial plans for their comments and their verbal endorsement of the draft budget.

It’s a massive project that’s working within strict timelines and Jungkook is adamant on getting this ready by mid-next year. You can tell how much he wants to deliver this well - the board of directors would be his next audience and a boost of confidence would be much needed.

You make him a cup of coffee the way he likes and sit next to him. The distance allows you to keep your eyes away from him; with the pressure he’s under, you don’t exactly want to be close to where you can easily trigger him.

CEO Jeon and Hoseok arrive, greeting you with their bright smiles, a reprieve from the stoic looks and tight-lipped and furrowed brows you get from Jungkook everyday.

“Hi, Ms. Cho,” CEO Jeon says. “A week has passed, huh? How has it been?”

“Challenging,” you say honestly, “but still good. I’m learning new things, Mr. Jeon.”

“That’s good,” he smiles, glancing at his son whose eyes are focused on his laptop. The elder seems unconvinced by your half smile but he nods, turning back to you. “By the way, I heard on the news that the typhoon hit your hometown pretty badly. How’s your mother and her family? Mr. Ri mentioned that there was an incident over the weekend. Is everything okay?”

You’re used to CEO Jeon asking things like this prior to meetings. He believes it’s a way to release certain feelings and not keep them hidden, and while you don’t really want to talk about it right now, you appreciate the concern.

“She, uh. A large tree fell over our house last Saturday,” you say, to the surprise of both CEO and President. “I had to travel in the morning to help my mom. A portion of the roof was damaged and she had to call a company to fix it. Min-woo and the girls were away and mom didn’t want to deal with the workers since she was alone so I had to stay over the weekend.”

“That’s unfortunate,” the elder Jeon laments. “How is your house now? And your mom?”

“The roof is sealed. But she slipped on some debris and had to be assisted; she was being stubborn about it. She’s okay, though.”

“Ah, it must’ve been a tough few days. And for you, too,” Hoseok says. “I mean, given all the work and then having to be there for her. I’m sorry, ___. But I’m glad she’s doing better. Tell her I send my regards, okay?”

“I will, thank you.”

Jungkook tries not to look affected as the older men ask you more details about what happened that he, of course, didn’t know about. There’s that guilt over how he treated you yesterday, learning now what you had to do over the weekend. You don’t seem the type to blame any oversight or mistake on something like that, but he would know that the tiredness and preoccupation could definitely affect things. Even more, he’d implied that you don’t work hard and that you’re being a burden to him, which is far from the truth.

The conversation ends and he’s unable to look at you, as he stands from his seat to begin his presentation. Everything is set up, including a pointer and a marker and a glass of warm water on his side. He proceeds, presenting his design, the materials, the budget, and the timeline.

You take note of all his answers to the questions and the ideas he comes up with on the spot, with him repeating things and stating how he wants certain points written down. You’re immersed in your own task, feeling like you’ve found your rhythm because you’ve done this so many times but the fear got ahead of you. This morning, it’s as if you’re in your element again, and there’s relief that fills you this time.

The meeting is moved to a restaurant after the third hour. There’s an event that the CEO suggests that Jungkook’s team organize as a way to build linkages with the arts and culture networks, making sure that the younger Jeon becomes known in those fields as well.

You have to go by memory as you listen and eat your meal, but the distance from Jungkook remains. You merely nod at his words and avoid looking at him unless you need to. It’s your way of getting over last night, you think. You still have his look of frustration etched in your mind and it’s still a bit fresh; you’d need at least another day before you can look at him normally again. You hope that other than Jungkook himself, no one notices.

But you suppose you’ve underestimated Hoseok’s ability to pick up on your behavior; it’s one of his strengths as a leader, after all. He’s always been good at reading people, a skill that Jungkook clearly didn’t develop.

“Hey.”

“Mr. Jung,” you greet, a wave of nostalgia hitting you because his smile is one you used to see everyday, regardless of how stressed he was. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“No, not really. It’s just been over a week but I’m still getting used to the bigger office and the new secretary but I just wanted to check in,” Hoseok says. “You and Jungkook have been very busy, I rarely catch either of you.”

“Well, he wanted to get all the introductions out of the way so he can focus on the Arts Center,” you reply. “There’s a lot happening with that one so he’s in meetings and calls all the time.”

“Ah, of course. It’s a good design and I’m sure it’ll boost the local arts scene. He got inspired during his travels in the Southeast Asia sites and has been talking about it for years. It’s good he has the freedom to work on this now.”

You merely nod, not having much to say about your boss’ passion project that’s just made him angry and frustrated. Quite frankly, you don’t know how he is when he isn’t working on such high-pressure matters, but you can already tell he isn’t someone you’d want to be around in any other context.

“But how about you? Are you getting enough rest? All these meetings and then traveling home on the weekend is tiring, ___. I hope you’re looking out for your health.”

“I am,” you try to assure him. “I can handle it.”

You smile before shifting your eyes to your desktop screen, not wanting to look at him any longer because a second more and you’d probably burst into tears. Experiencing Hoseok’s kindness for these few minutes has just reminded you of what you constantly miss - that feeling of safety and care, of someone looking out for you and not holding you back.

“I’m glad you are,” he smiles again, holding your gaze when you glance at him, and Hoseok hopes that in this short moment of calm, he’s able to give comfort that he just knows you need. “Anyway, I just wanted to drop by. I’ll see you around, yeah?”

“I’ll see you, Hoseok.” And as if you knew why he came over in the first place, you add, “and thank you.”

Jungkook sighs in frustration as he watches your fading smile before returning to type away on your desktop. He was about to call you to ask for a project portfolio on the shelf but stopped once he saw you talking to his cousin. You seemed a tad bit lighter than usual; Jungkook could only assume it’s your natural state, even if all he’s seen of you is that of perpetual worry and stress.

He thinks to himself that a part of that is because of him. Maybe a big part, he admits. He wouldn’t have known about your town in Daegu or that your mother resides there and that you had to go home over the weekend, hence, your oversight yesterday. He’s at least decent enough to acknowledge that he shouldn’t have been so harsh on you in the first place. He’s just not used to things not going his way; he wonders now what the people under him suffered through to make sure of that.

Not wanting to disturb you, he decides to get the portfolio himself, so he exits his room and leans on your desk, his eyebrows scrunched as he reads through the spine labels of the folders. He doesn’t notice you stand up and attempt to ask what he needs but he does find it, reaching over on the third shelf for it.

“I could’ve gotten that for you,” you huff.

Jungkook spots a small pout as you utter the words, disarming him a little.

“It’s… it’s fine,” he mumbles, willing his mind to go back to what he was thinking about before you said something, which is the other project he wants to look at.

But you pick up on his words. “Seongbuk, 2021,” you repeat.

You look up and know exactly where the portfolio for that project is. You drag your stool with your foot and walk up the steps, carefully pulling out the folder and underestimating just how heavy it is. But before it can slip out of your fingers, Jungkook gets a hold of it, his right hand gripping the spine while his left palm supports your back.

You stiffen when you realize just how close he is to you then step down the stool, somehow nervous to look at him.

“I, uh, sorry. You were about to fall.”

You stiffen again because he didn’t just apologize, did he? Your eyes are glued to the ground and you don’t see Jungkook’s surprised look.

Because he did just that. What felt more alarming than his apology was that it had been a reflex for him to have his hand behind you, his heart leaping a bit because you really were close to falling. An injured version of you isn’t something he wants to deal with, and he convinces himself that it’s because it would look absolutely terrible for his assistant to get hurt on the job, and especially in his presence.

“Is that all you need, Mr. Jeon?”

“Uh, yes,” he responds. “Be, uh, be careful.”

He takes both folders and heads back to his room, his face buried in the pages as you sneak a glance at him from the window.

“So, how’s the second week as VP going?” Hoseok asks his cousin from across the table of their favorite Japanese restaurant during their Friday lunch. “Worse than the first?”

Jungkook, not keen on answering truthfully, merely shrugs.

“Well, I can bet you though that ___ is definitely having it worse than last week.”

“Did she say anything? About me specifically?” Jungkook asks, his curious eyes telling Hoseok that it’s more of concern than anger.

“Of course not. She’s there to protect you, Kook, not tell on you. Is there something to say? About you specifically?”

Jungkook knows how well his cousin can read people, especially him. They’d grown up together after all, and had gotten close because the older man always stayed next to him, knowing how shy little Jungkook used to be. So he narrates what happened - that he’d gotten angry, that he was being too strict, that he wasn’t leaving you room for adjustment. He’d of course excluded his own oversight and need to establish distance and authority, chalking it up to not having the familiarity and conveniences he’d been used to back in Singapore.

“I feel like working with father even closer now, it’s like I’m under a microscope,” Jungkook continues. “I don’t wanna mess up. I just don’t wanna give him a reason to criticize or question me.”

“Well, if he learns about how it’s been with ___, he’ll do exactly those things,” Hoseok responds. “He cares about his people, you know? I’m sure that’s the one thing he wants you to do right.”

“Can’t say I’d know. It’s not like he’s any more compassionate than I am. We’re talking about a man who yells at the managers who can’t get things done right.”

“They were abusing their power, that’s why,” Hoseok explains. “And I’m not here to defend the man - I’ve been on the receiving end of his anger twice and saw how he’d push people to their near breaking point a few times but he’s not a terrible person. I’ve seen him be understanding and caring to his staff way more; you just haven’t been around that much.”

“It’s not what I saw growing up.”

“Well, we remember what we want, and forget the parts that don’t make sense to us.”

Jungkook stays silent as he munches on his steak.

“He wants to get closer to you, you know?” Hoseok continues. “He hopes that with you being around, he can mentor you, learn from you. All those years that you were home, you felt so far away from him, farther away than Jeong-sik who wasn’t even here, and he doesn’t know why.”

“He can’t expect to be a rich, ambitious businessman and be close to his son,” Jungkook huffs. “All he ever cared about when I was growing up was work. Sure, he had rare good moments, but we all know it was to compensate for always being too busy. He pressured me to do well at school then missed awarding ceremonies. He scheduled some family time then left me and my brother in some cabin in the woods by ourselves. He wants to work with me here then disallows my requests. What does he want from me?”

“Your time, I suppose. Maybe your understanding, too.”

“Did he give those to me when I was younger? He had so many chances these past 30 years and he wants those now?”

“People are complicated, Kook. Sometimes they lose sight of what’s important, of what’s in front of them… doesn’t mean they’re bad people,” Hoseok says. “And it doesn’t mean they don’t deserve a second chance. I mean, don’t we all want that? Don’t we all grow out of our bad habits and just yearn for something good?”

“Not everyone does that.”

“Maybe not, but your father has. And he just wants another chance. And whether or not it was her fault, I’m sure ___ wants that, too.”

“Did you really ask me to treat you to lunch only to advocate for the people I don’t really care much about?” Jungkook laughs bitterly.

“No,” Hoseok chuckles. “I really wanted to try it here. But also, uncle took me out to drinks before you arrived and was all honest with me, which was a little weird but I guess he thought he could get some perspective from you through me. And ___ was my assistant and I think highly of her. It’s upsetting how things started for you both. I guess I just feel kind of caught in the middle between you and the people you actually care about. So yes, I deserve this free lunch.”

Jungkook doesn’t correct his cousin, more for the fact that Hoseok really does get caught in the middle - always has, even between him and his older brother whom Jungkook never really got along with; it definitely isn’t because he acknowledges that he cares about you. There’s no reason for him to feel that; you’re just his assistant, after all.

Being beautiful and capable and hardworking doesn’t have anything to do with being cared about.

“I… I admit being too hard on ___. I get that she’s good and stuff but maybe that fits with your leadership style more,” Jungkook tries to reason. “Maybe she just thrives in a team where she’s led by someone like you, someone who’s good with people and who’s process-oriented and I don’t know, someone who isn’t as tough or meticulous like me.”

“I’m sorry, Kook, but you sound stupid. You clearly don’t know anything about her. She’s experienced all the lows - the disrespect from the men, the abuse of power from the women, all the long hours and ridiculous deadlines, the loudest of yells and the craziest demands,” Hoseok exclaims. “She’s been here for just eight years but it feels more. Sometimes I don’t know why she stayed but I’m glad she did, selfishly, and that’s because she helped me so much. Are you… are you giving her reasons to leave so you can have Lucas with you?”

“No,” Jungkook dismisses the thought, although he does admit it entered his mind before he even started. “I’m just… not used to her. And the mishaps didn’t help. I just wanna be able to do my job and do it right.”

“And you will, if you just loosen up a bit and give her a chance to show you that she can help you. It’s just that I’m not seeing that same joy and energy in her eyes and her smile,” Hoseok explains. “I was thinking last Wednesday that maybe it was because of her mom but during the meeting this morning, it was the same. I’d hate to think that’s because of you. Because if it is and she’s thinking of resigning, I won’t stop her. I might even suggest it to her. “

The thought of you being gone causes a lump in Jungkook’s throat. It’s selfish, really, because despite how he treats you, he still wants you here. It’s just as silly, and stupid, and something he doesn’t have a clear reason for. But other than his cousin not trusting that he could treat you fairly, it’s the possibility that you might just quit yourself, something you seem to be capable and willing to do. And that voluntary departure is something he doesn’t want to deal with. Once you leave, you’ll just be gone; he won’t have a reason to seek you.

“I’ll do better,” Jungkook finally says. “I’ll stop being such a pain in the ass and be… kinder, I guess.”

“She’ll probably see right through you if you fake it,” Hoseok laughs. “Just be fair. Trust me, that’s what she’d want, too. Correct her if you need to, but do it constructively. And please, try to smile every once in a while. It won’t hurt you. Nor would it ruin whatever tough guy image you have.”

Jungkook playfully rolls his eyes but he lets out a chuckle. His cousin won’t ever let go of the fact that 18-year old Jungkook had his first tattoo because he wanted to look tough.

“I still have to establish authority, Hoseok. I can’t do it like you do.”

“Well, you’re missing out. Smiling always makes you feel a hundred times better.”

“She’ll probably see right through me if I fake it,” Jungkook repeats his cousin’s words almost mockingly. “I’m pretty sure everyone knows I’m not… cheerful. It’s like, how I’m compared to you.”

The two start walking back and Hoseok takes a jab at the younger man. “Actually, I heard that I’m the handsome one, too, and the stable guy, the family man, the man you’d take home to meet your parents…”

Jungkook laughs along. He agrees, and while it was not Hoseok’s intention at all, it does make Jungkook wonder even hours later - given all the things that characterize him, which are nothing like the older man’s - who would want him? Who would even take a chance on him? Who would even think it’s worth it to be with him?

Chaerin did, and then he self-sabotaged and lost her. Maybe the women he meets at clubs and takes home, but then all they want is a good time anyway, just like him. Maybe it’s someone he’s never met, but he also doesn't know how to be someone that someone else would love.

Maybe there isn’t any. And maybe that isn’t so bad. Perhaps he’d have to start getting used to that fact; it’s easier than realizing he’s not meant to be with someone after all.

He pauses the thought and decides that’s for the weekend version of him to lament over. This Friday afternoon, he’s focused on firming up the project details with the design and logistics teams. He’d just finished his meeting with them, with you barely looking his way just like you’ve done throughout the week - which he can’t fault you for because he was doing the same - and he’s back in his room to coordinate with other units.

You, on the other hand, seem to be fixated on the quarterly reports that you’ll be handing over to him. It’s past 5 and he knows you’ll be staying up late again, given that he’d ordered you at the start of the week to finish the reviews by Friday. He’s given you too much to do, and after everything he’s done, letting you off early is a way for him to apologize without actually apologizing.

He picks up the phone and calls you.

“How many reports do you have left to review?” He asks.

“Three more, Mr. Jeon,” you answer. “I’ll finish them tonight, please just give me another hour and a half.”

“Are you going home to see your mother tomorrow?”

“Uh, yes, sir. I leave in the morning,” you say, curious at the question that you never thought he’d ask.

“You should clock out now, then.”

“Oh, but the reports, sir. I—”

“It’s okay,” he says, surprising you. “I’ll be busy with Arts Center details this weekend so I won’t have time to sign off on the reports anyway so you can continue them on Monday.”

You’re too shocked to speak that it doesn’t register that you’re indeed not saying anything.

“Ms. Cho?” Jungkook repeats your name.

“Oh, uh, yes, as long as it’s okay, Mr. Jeon.”

“Yes, that’s what I just said.”

“That’s, uh, thank you,” you mumble, turning on your roller chair to retrieve your bag and start packing, only to look up and see through the window that Jungkook can see you right now, smiling like a giddy child. There’s this movie that’ll show on your favorite local channel and you’re glad that you’ll be able to catch it tonight.

You’re unsure what Jungkook’s eaten to be dismissing you this early. Maybe it was the lunch he had with Hoseok earlier; maybe it was the older man knocking some sense into him. You don’t have the energy to think about it, given that you now also have time to cook yourself proper dinner and enjoy eating it while watching and curling under your comfy blanket on your tiny couch, just like how you used to enjoy your Fridays.

You’ll deal with the unreviewed reports and Jungkook returning to his normal, grumpy self on Monday. Tonight is all about you, and the weekend version of you is about being with your mother, her partner, and your stepsisters. There’s nothing like being with the people who make you feel safe; you’ll deal with the stress when a new week rolls by.

Jungkook watches you excitedly leave your desk. He can’t imagine the relief you’re feeling of being relieved this early and then spending your Friday evening the way you want, however that is. He lets himself wonder for a bit how you would spend time by yourself. Yoongi did say your friends aren’t in Seoul and your family obviously isn’t.

But then again, maybe you do have a partner, and maybe that’s why you looked as happy as you did. He’s not quite sure what to do with the slight distress at the thought, but with the absurdity of the amount of times he thinks about you, he decides it shouldn’t matter anyway.

He has his own plans, too, like watching sports over bottles of beer that night, and then playing video games the next day before going to a bar with Seokjin and Taehyung.

That Sunday, he works all morning then works out in the afternoon. In the evening, he decides to meet his friends again.

Entering the club, he spots the table where they are - Seokjin has his arm around a woman and his lips glued to her ear; he pulls her closer as she laughs at his words. Taehyung has one next to him, too; they’re engaged in some serious conversation, it seems, given how passionately they’re talking to each other. That is, until his hand slides inside her dress; maybe it wasn’t that deep.

Jungkook doesn’t know how his friends can converse with the women they find in these places. Given, Seokjin tends to stick to the same one for months and Taehyung is just naturally flirty and friendly so maybe it’s not that hard.

For Jungkook, it’s just not something he’s able to fully or even properly do. What does he say? He’d brag about his work and his lifestyle if he was the type, but he isn’t, and there’s nothing else about him that he’d like to share. He’s always straightforward when it comes to these things. He’s picky; he does have a type, after all, but he always knows what they want and so do they.

So when he spots a woman by the bar - the one who’d bought him a drink last night - he just smirks as she takes her shot and bites her lips when she catches him looking.

“Hey, I finally caught you sober,” she giggles in his ears after she meets him halfway.

“And I finally caught you without a man next to you,” he whispers. “Should I be worried?”

“Nah, he was just my plaything last night,” she responds. “I could be yours.”

Jungkook chuckles, enjoying her bluntness. He takes her hand and waves at his friends; they already know he’s taking off and they won’t hear from him for the rest of the night.

It’s the way most of his evenings go anyway, whether he’s here or in Singapore or elsewhere, really.

Jungkook likes the thrill, he likes the shallow intimacy he gets from the feelings of ecstasy and carnal desire. He likes that he doesn’t have to share anything about himself apart from his name so they could scream it, likes that there’s nothing about the other person to uncover, and that there’s nothing about himself he has to be honest about. He likes that he’ll remember the pleasure until the next day but nothing else - not her breathing, not her gentle touches on his chest, not her soft whispers of his name.

There’s nothing much about her he’ll care for other than that she had a good time. And there’s nothing about tonight he’ll regret, except not making sure that she left his apartment like he always asks them to do.

Because it’s Monday morning, and there’s that woman wearing his coat and nothing else.

And then there’s you, dressed in your skirt and blouse in his living room, with a look of shock on your pretty face.

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#jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x oc #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jungkook series #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #boss jungkook

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messylustt · 1 year

Text

౨ৎ ‧˚

𝐞𝐥 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐨 (𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥) — 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲?

miguel o’hara x fem!reader. 3.4K words

fic masterlist previous part pt three next part

miguel unwillingly pining after reader; fantasies about you in miguel’s head; a massage (pg); a hint of jealous miguel; spanish wise—I hope I wrote everything correctly, I asked for some opinions and check ups from a spanish speaker <3 big thanks to you — after an interesting morning with miguel, you learnt a few more spanish words, not to be late, and having him in close proximity might give you a heart attack. your mind certainly wandered when you were monitoring a mission, the spider peoples’ bickering making you feel annoyed, an emotion miguel unwillingly likes the look of on you. but how does he feel when he makes his request… asking you to follow him to a door you didn’t think you’d ever pass through?

“Checking the location now.” You said through your ear piece, tapping away at the keyboard. Your back was straightened as you stayed focused. You were working with a group of spider variants, who were assigned to get rid of a misplaced “villain” as they liked to put it. It just makes their job sound much more important, resulting in then coming back with a proud sway to their hips.

“Bro, why are you breathing so hard?” Hissed one of the spider variants to another.

“I’m settling into my hero act.” His tone is full of pronounced muscle—most likely standing with his arms by his side like some macho man. He takes a deep sigh. “It can be tough being such a incredible hero.”

The others just stare, clearly used to this from him, before a screech meets everyone’s ears.

“Where is it?!” One of them exclaims, frantically looking around.

“It would’ve blended into one of the buildings’ walls.” You say, scanning the area on your computer.

“I’m sorry, did you just say ‘blended in’?” A spider-man asks. “What is this monster—a chameleon?”

You’re silent for a moment. “Please tell you me reviewed the mission.”

There’s silence through the earpiece. You blink a few times, then close your eyes taking a deep breath. “Why not?”

“Look, I was going to but…Parker distracted me!”

“I distracted you?!” Parker exclaimed.

“Guys.” You try, but they either can’t hear you or are choosing not to.

“You were the one who was so eager to just defeat this villain!”

In your annoyed state, you can’t help but let your mind wander somewhere that had held your attention for majority of the day…

—this morning—

You rushed down the stairs, while simultaneously fixing your hair. Shit, you were gonna be late. All because of these extensive stairs.

When you reached the bottom, your hair had become a mess again, making you place your flat palms against your head as you tried to soothe the stray hairs.

You reach the door to your office, pausing to take a breath. Twisting the handle, you walked inside.

You instantly noticed Miguel, spider suit back on, as he swiped necessary and unnecessary screens back and forth by the large spider.

You tried to stay quiet as you walked to your desk, but your luck seems to plainly not exist as Miguel’s voice greets you—rather gruffly.

“Would it be cliché to say ‘you’re late’?”

You press your lips together as he jumps down. You seem to forget how tall he is until he’s towering over you, with a look that states ‘you should be worried’.

You gulp, before forcing a smile. Miguel’s expression stays dead as he waits for you to speak, most likely to explain yourself.

When you say nothing your mouth opening and closing like a stupid fish, Miguel speaks. “I said six.”

You nod. “I heard you.”

“Did you?” His clicks his jaw, a slight tilt to his head, as he observed your quickly fixed hair and slight heave of your chest. You clearly rushed. “You just woke up.”

“No.” You say indignantly. “I’ve been awake since six, I just didn’t like the idea of walking down those stairs, so…I began working in my room.”

“Uh huh.” He sarcastically nods. “Right.”

You press your lips together, thinking you should have stitched them shut. You weren’t helping yourself.

“You keep saying you want to prove that you belong here.” Miguel begins. He leans forward, his red eyes gleaming, his fangs becoming more visible as he snarls. “If you don’t start getting here at six, then I’ll be happy to drag you out at four.”

He leans back, stalking back towards the big spider, as he webs himself up to the top. You let out a sigh, turning to your desk and swivel chair.

;;

After an hour or so of working, and going over the mission scheduled in a few hours, you feel a breath by your neck. With wide eyes you spin around to see Miguel staring down at you.

When he meets your gaze, you’re placing your hand over your heart. “Can you not scare me like that?” You mutter out.

He leans forward…and forward… and forward, until his large hands are caging you in by resting them on the chair’s armrests. “Scare?” He almost whispers in question to himself.

You’re utterly frozen as his breath tickles your nose and cheeks, which you are sure to be an embarrassing red by now.

“O’hara?” You slowly question, it comes out quieter than you had intended.

His eyes stay focused on your own, as your pulse beats rapidly in your chest. Stop it— you want to say. But you’re not sure what ‘it’ is exactly.

“…did you need something?” It’s the only thing you can think to say.

“What do you mean by scare?” He asks.

You lightly shift in your chair, unsure what to do in this situation. “Um…I just mean that you’re…you are kinda scary, O’hara.” You force a chuckle, trying to ease tension you are sure is the annoyance radiating off of him.

“Is it the fangs?” He asks, his eyes strangely showing genuine interest—or what you think to be genuine.

“Kind of?” You say more so as a question. “But also how you never, well…smile.”

“Why should I smile at people I don’t want to smile at?” He asks, his eyes finally dropping away from the entrapment of your own, but to a much worser place.

You self consciously lick your lips, feeling your nerves turning them dry. His gaze doesn’t shift from your mouth for an abnormally long time.

“O’hara.”

His brows then begin to furrow, his eyes finally leaving your lips, making you unintentionally sigh.

“Why do you refer to me by my last name?”

“What does ‘chaparrita’ mean?” You counter.

He narrows his eyes, leaning away from you and back to his full height. “You ready for your lesson?” He suddenly asks, grabbing a swivel chair and leaning back.

You stare at him for a moment. So that was what he was supposed to ask this whole time? “Okay, if you tell me—“

“No.” He says monotonously. “Ahora deja de hacer preguntas y siéntate y escucha.” (Now stop asking questions and sit and listen.)

You didn’t understand what he just said but you can understand his tone, so you readjust yourself on your chair and stay silent.

“Now…what do you say when you want help?” Miguel inquires, his tone now almost babying.

You narrow your eyes, but answer anyway. “¿Me puede ayudar, por favor?”

“Mm.” He hums, letting his gaze drop. “Bien.”

Miguel notices the slight curve of your lips at his praise. He shifts in his seat. “I hope you know what that means.”

Your small smile falls, before a fake one replaces it. “Yes, O’hara, I do know what that one means.”

“You should loose the attitude, chaparrita. Si es que quieres mi ayuda” (If you want my help, that is.) He says, running his tongue along one of his fangs.

“I understood “my help”.” You say. “And the one with the attitude here is you.”

“How so?”

You raise your brows. “Do I need to answer that? I thought you were observant?” Okay, now you were just pushing his buttons for fun. He seemed to get riled up so easily.

A scowl forms on his face. “Si no fueras tan pinche bonita, creo que me gustaría verte arañada” (If you weren’t so annoyingly pretty, I think I’d like to see you clawed up.) He mutters under his breath, his gaze slightly venomous.

“¿Cómo estás?” Miguel says. “Repeat it.”

“¿Cómo estás?” You repeat.

“That means “how are you?”. And what could you reply with?” He inquires.

“Bien.” You answer.

“Mejor.”

“‘Better’?” You say with a scoff. “I feel like I should get a bit more credit…Spanish is hard.”

“First of all—it’s not.” Miguel states. “Second…you know what ‘mejor’ means?”

“It was one of the words I learnt on my phone.” You shrug.

“Any other words I should I know about?” He sounds annoyed, and you can’t fathom why.

“You’re annoyed at that? To be honest I thought you’d be grateful.”

He doesn’t say anything. Mainly because he can’t say the first reason that popped into his head. He wanted you to learn Spanish—all of it—from him, and only him. He also can’t tell you because he doesn’t know why he feels that way. It was stupid, feeling resentful to a phone, utterly stupid, but Miguel can’t ignore the nagging feeling in his stomach.

—present—

“Shut up!” You exclaim, massaging your temples.

There’s finally silence on the other end.

“The invisible monster is moving your way, on the left wall. You’ll be able to spot a slight glimmering shimmer over him. If you look close enough.”

You finally see the spider variants pick up into action, spotting the monster and beginning to attack.

Miguel watched from afar, leant by the open door to the main tech room, arms crossed as he watched you lean back in annoyance. When you were mad your eyes would hood over, narrowing to show only half of your pupils.

You would aways grow hot, occasionally fanning yourself as you unbuttoned the first button of your shirt. And Miguel would always stare, his chest picking up to a quicker beat. But the scowl would be set, Miguel hating the way he reacted. He shouldn’t be reacting at all. He felt pathetic, as he tried to look away.

Every time he’d fail, his gaze only shifting further down your body. Your legs were yet again…spread. An obviously comfortable position for you, but certainly not Miguel.

He’s embarrassed to admit—not that he’s ever actually—that he’s fantasised about being close to your spread legs, his hands being able to spread them further. You were a reactive girl, very hyper aware for a human. He hoped you’d stay the same when he’d touch you.

Your chest heaving, your mouth opening, as goosebumps littered your skin. Skin he’d be able to see a lot more of.

And to all these fantasies he would hate himself, and you. Sure, he was projecting. But he’d rather project anger then any of his hidden thoughts.

“Is it my turn now?” He asks, making you spin in your chair to face the exit and Miguel.

You had finally taken out your headpiece, the mission clearly completed. The spider-men would get back soon. A look of confusion flashed across your features before realisation hits. ‘His turn’. His side of the deal.

You stand, straightening your slightly crumpled shirt—you had been fisting the material in your annoyed state. Miguel ignores the thoughts of instead a crumpled sheet. Your fists clenching around, preferably, his—no. Not preferably his. He clears his head, biting his inside cheek, the metallic taste of blood now tangible.

“Follow me.” He turns, expecting you to do so.

And you do, walking past all the different spider variants in an effort to stay at Miguel’s heels.

Through the journey up the stairs, Miguel—who doesn’t know why he’s walking with you—has been having thoughts. Very…interesting thoughts. Some seeming very similar to those of ‘finding you annoyed kinda hot’ type of thoughts. It also fell back to the thoughts swirling in his head when he was looking at your lips.

He hadn’t meant to do that, his body seeming to have had a mind of its own when he leant over, caging you in.

He’s annoyed to admit—to himself—that he had wanted to kiss you. See what it felt like. Maybe he’d hate it and his strange, annoying crush on you would go.

He’s soon stopped by his room, finally glancing at you, to see that you look confused. “I thought I was doing what you asked…or whatever.” You say, slowing your breathing.

“You are.” He opens his door, walking in.

You watch him, brows still furrowed. You stay rooted to the hallway floor. “In your room?” You look around like you’ve done something terrible, and you’re gonna get caught.

“Maybe you aren’t as committed as you claim to be.”

Your eyes narrow at his blatancy. You edge closer to his cracked open door, him now fully inside. You take a deep breath before pushing it further open, then quickly shutting it behind you.

“You know, I probably shouldn’t be in here.” You mutter, staying pressed to the door, as you took in the large looking bed, messed up from his sleep, along with a window, and plain walls. There wasn’t much character and you could tell that that was very intentional.

You then shift your gaze to Miguel who had found himself a seat, relaxing back into it as he clicked his jaw. He finally met your gaze, and in the dim-ish lighting his hair looked messier, his hand most likely having ran through it.

“So…” you drift off, not meaning to come across so awkward.

He tilted his head to the side, silently asking you to come to him, as his legs spread a fraction. You ignored the want to hitch your breath, gulping it down instead.

You stare at him, not moving.

He raised a brow. “You look worried.”

“I’m not worried…just…confused.” You again force a chuckle, a forming coping mechanism around Miguel.

“I think my direction was pretty obvious. I did say it in English.” He again made himself out to be all superior.

You sigh. “I heard you. I’m just confused as to why you asked that.”

“What—did you think I asked you in here so that you’d stay plastered to my door, chaparrita?” He asked sarcastically.

You wet your lips. “Why did you ask me in here?”

“I want a massage.” He says it just so…simply.

You blink, maybe one time too many. “What?”

“A massage, y/l/n.” He says, lowering his head slightly, looking up at you through his lashes.

“Why?” You haven’t moved from the door, so, Miguel swiftly shoots a web out to attach to your shirt, yanking you forward.

You gasp, nearly tripping over your feet, as you get pulled towards him. Miguel stabilises you with a hand to your stomach, making you come to a stop in front of him. “What the hell?” You stare at him, your chest heaving in shock.

You rip the web from your shirt, quickly brushing it off. “You gave Gwen one. I heard you were good. That’s all.” Miguel says.

Your brows furrowed. “Gwen?” Then you remember. “Oh, well that’s because she just got back from a really hard mission…she was sore and I…dunno, I was bored.”

“And you don’t think I am? Sore, I mean. You do realise I take care of the multi—“

“The multiverse, yes. I haven’t forgotten. I’m just a little shocked, is all.”

“You can say no.”

You sigh. “If I want to lose my job.” You mutter, walking around him. Miguel twists his head to follow you slightly, until you stood out of his gaze, directly behind him. You pause, before gingerly placing your hands on his shoulders. Jeez, he was broad.

You closed your eyes, taking a breath. To be honest you thought his requests would be hardcore, asking you to practically run around ramped. But instead here you were alone in his room giving him a massage.

You began to add pressure. Working your fingers into the instant knots you felt.

Miguel’s eyes involuntarily rolled closed, as he accidentally leaned more into your touch. You don’t seem to notice the shift as you continue massaging by his neck and along his shoulder, veering a slightly onto the top of his back.

“I forgot to ask: where did you want the massage? I just assumed the shoulders.”

“Mm?” Miguel hums in question, sounding far away, a small heavy breath leaving his lips after.

“O’hara?” You ask, stopping your hands’ movements.

A small growl of disapproval fell from Miguel’s lips involuntarily. “Just—“ he takes a breath. “What you were doing is fine.”

You place your hands back where they were, making Miguel relax back into your fingers. You were good—Miguel thought to himself. He can’t remember the last time he released so much tension.

You lean down to Miguel’s ear, your tickling breath making him gulp. “Is there a time requirement? Because I had plans tonight.”

Miguel’s brows furrowed. “Plans? What plans?” He didn’t mean to sound so disappointed and borderline desperate, but he’s thankful you barely heard his tone as your attitude didn’t shift.

You worked your fingers closer to his chest, doing your normal routine. Your grandmother was a masseuse, and of course she had to give you some tips. It was fun being able to practice on Gwen, but with Miguel you felt nervous every time you would press down hard on a knot.

But his responses seemed to be good, considering all the quiet groans and heavy breaths.

“I made plans with spider-man—“

“That’s very descriptive.” Miguel comments, his head slightly rolling to the side.

You scoff, your fingers moving to the base of his neck, where no spider suit material could intervene. The pads of your fingers rubbing his bare skin. Miguel noticed the difference a lot quicker than you did, sounds and words of approval he really didn’t want you to hear threatening to spill.

“Dios, ¿por qué tus manos tienen que sentirse tan bien?” (God, why do your hands have to feel so good?) He muttered under his breath, not really meaning for you to catch a word, but of course you pick up ‘bien’.

“Good?” You asked. “Well, then you should put in a good word for me.” You chuckle. “Maybe I should start a small business and massage all the spider-men and woman. I think I’d do well—“

“No.” Miguel says instantly, still sounding slightly breathless. “If you want to prove yourself you can’t get distracted.” Of course that’s the reason he dislikes the idea. Definitely not because he doesn’t want your hands making others feel like this…definitely not.

“Don’t worry, it was just a hypothetical.” You say, going back to his shoulders. “Now, I hope that’s okay. Because I do need to go.” You bring your hands away, and it takes everything in Miguel not to spin around in the chair, grab your hands and ask you to massage somewhere else.

The tense knots in his shoulders were gone, his neck felt light, and he wanted to feel your fingers run along his abs. This was bad. Why was the lighting so dim, why was your scent so strong?

He spun around in his chair, meeting your gaze. “You didn’t fully answer me before. Who are meeting?”

“It was gonna be spider-man, the one with the cartoonish attitude, and now it’s just Hobie. I dunno. something about an important—“

“Hobie?” Miguel interrupts. He displayed indifference, though inside he was burning.

A weird tension began to fill the room. “Yeah, so I’ll just…go.” You say quickly passing him and opening the door, before Miguel had the (bad) mind to stop you.

You rushed out into the hallway which instantly felt lighter, letting you breathe.

You head to the main communion area, paths leading everywhere along the walls to along the roof, making it easy for a spider person to navigate but not someone who can’t stick to walls.

So you stay on the simple path, skimming through talking suited spiders until someone called your name. You spin catching sight of Peter, Mayday in his grasp.

“Hey.” You smile.

“Hey. Sorry, Hobie wanted me to tell you that he can’t catch up for that song session thing, something about getting called in for business.” Peter said, his hands going everywhere as Mayday tried to escape over the edge.

“Also picture that in an over pronounced British accent.” He gave you a thumbs up to which you chuckled.

“No worries, thanks Peter.”

“Mayday!” He suddenly yelled, to which you pointed to the left, displaying her climbing onto a spider-man’s back.

Peter rushes off. And you sigh, thinking you hurried for no reason. Though you are grateful that you could use that as an excuse to get out of Miguel’s room.

As you head to your own, you begin to wonder what this last minute mission could be about and why Hobie had been called in now. Usually the only person who calls people in, especially this last minute would be Miguel.

I guess crime never sleeps—you think to yourself—or something like that.

ahhh here’s part three!—I hope this one wasn’t too boring or not what you expected x part four is gonna be more SeXuAl, I promise

I actually don’t know how many parts I should do, coz atm it’s feeling like a slow burn, but I don’t want to drag you guys along a long ass fic so I’m not sure.

taglist: @dangerousdreamkitty @ale-maral @inosukesweirdwife @flooftoof @cynicallyaestetic @silassinclair @mariiyoushi @ilovedilfjake @toastlover21 @wlellsl @k1rbb @bitchotine @guacam011y @blnk338 @wolfiepirate @kurxxmi @corpsebridenightamare @ohantonia @yunonaneko @irenered-20 @z3r0art @sunflowercandie @perilous-pasta @gloriouskryptonitecrown @whyamistillhere78 @ritzzzsblog @mm1sta @tealcoloured-murder @aweebsimp101 @livelaughlaurv @s0dium @roguepancake @sunshiines-stuff @internal-soundtrack @oscarisdaddy69 @clairacassidy @captainquake42 @nanaloverz @ilyless @sindulgent666 @shine101 @thebadasssass @hibeejibees @nirishin @ily2lia @lillunna @cinnamoncattie @futuristicpandakid @maroonobserver @thatsopanu @edgyficuselastica @kittekat420 @stararctic @maxi-ride @renn-pumkin-head @scaraza @justanotherkpopstanlol @fauxizs @cloudsandrenoswife @ilmovor @larissa-lolll @elliemm @httpkiyoomi @j2warren @arquiiva @ilovemiguelohara @a-monster-can-filled-with-cum @fandom-gal44 @elwyn7 @albiebright @pix-stuff

#2 taglist

#the miguel effect #miguel o’hara across the spider verse #miguel o’hara one shot #miguel o’hara fic #miguel o’hara #miguel o’hara x you #miguel x reader #miguel o’hara smut #miguel o’hara x y/n #miguel o’hara x reader #atsv #across the spiderverse #across the spider verse #across the spider-verse #atsv x reader

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xotaemintol · 22 days

Note

Which one of the dreamies is the most dominant iyo?

(Not you sending this anonymously after texting me about it girl lmfao 😭) but anyways, I’ve actually been thinking about this for a while now because I want to start doing NCT DREAM hc’s but I feel like it’ll definitely shock some people if I don’t put Jeno first buuuut…

My personal ranking would be: Jaemin, Jeno, Mark, Jisung, Haechan, Chenle, and Renjun.

Jaemin gives soft dom energy, like he’s rough but he’d also praise you and tell you that you’re doing a good job for him. He seems like he gets enjoyment out of you being embarrassed, covering your face, or doing anything that makes you look smaller than him. He seems like the type to have a size kink as well, so if you even utter the words “so big.” Or “too big.” He gets so turned on and will immediately tease you, he’ll ask you in soft coo’s if it feels good—telling you to take it as he thrusts into you with powerful movements. Luckily he’s not cruel enough to be so deep or so rough that he’ll bruise your cervix but it’s happened once or twice before. But like I said he gives soft dom energy, I just know that immediately after he’s clinging to you and kissing your face all over. “Oh baby you did such a good job!” He’s right back to giving you adorable words of encouragement while cleaning you up as you lie there in shambles.

Jeno seems like he’d be the most dominant but I beg to differ, he’s definitely a service dom. He wants to do anything to get you off but he’s not submissive, tell him where you want him to touch, tell him you want him to eat you out, ask him to finger you—your strong puppy boyfriend is there to please you right away “Like that baby? Does it feel good? Right there?” . Sometimes he’s a little strict on what he will and won’t do, once you asked him to fuck you in the bathroom of the restaurant you were in and he told you no three times before he basically dragged you there and fucked you like a wild man. But in general Jeno likes to be gentle with you, when he’s eating you out or fingering you he loves getting genuine reactions—he compliments you as he gives you soft kisses on your thighs with his fingers deep inside of you. When he fucks you (if he’s not feeling especially feral or punishing you.) he holds you close, he’ll hold your body tightly as his thick cock slides in and out of you—his praises are quiet and accompanied by gentle kisses all over your neck. He’s really into the sounds you make so he fucks you like he’s dying to hear you say his name. “Good girl. Good good girl..my pretty baby…pretty princess…say-say my name…say my name.” His words are both soft yet aggressive, and when he cums inside of you he holds you so tight you might pop.

Mark also gives soft dom energy, he’s more of a playful dom. He likes to keep things mostly vanilla and lead you calmly, he loves guided masturbation and he especially loves it when you touch yourself as if he’s not there. He’ll praise with in a low and steady voice, telling you to keep the same slow pace as you move your fingers in and out of you. it’s absolutely agonizing but the way he talks to you makes your whole body throb with desire. “Just like that baby, keep your eyes on me…now move your hand…just like that baby, that’s right…good girl.” He’s so good at praise, it’s literally insane how good he is at using his words—he’s almost too good. The moment he notices you getting impatient he starts teasing you, he’ll tell you to beg for him and trust if you don’t beg enough he’ll tell you to do it with more passion. “No no no baby, say it like you mean it; say please, please fuck me Mark.” The moment you give him what he wants he’ll fuck you like his life depends on it. You feel like you’re floating away from how good his stroke game is, while he’s fucking you he’s still talking to you—telling you how good you feel around him, how pretty you are and how much he loves fucking you.

Jisung is definitely more of a hard dom but he could pass as a switch but it’s only because hes extremely likely fuck himself dumb. Jisung is really really into seeing you beg, cry, cum, shake, scream—anything that indicates pleasure (or pain hes close to that line.) makes him go crazy. He absolutely loves to degrade you but with a healthy mixture of praise too, “You’re so pretty baby, my pretty girl…my pretty slut. Did my voice make you that horny? Did my slutty girl go dumb already?” He’s such a dirty talker, especially when you lose it. His fingers are enough to have you empty headed and desperate, his long slender fingers fuck you so good; but they also only make you want him more. Every whiny call of his name makes him sicker than the last. “Sung? Sungie? Jisung? What’s wrong baby? Is it too much? Are you trying to tell me that it’s too much?” It’s like his fingers shut your brain off through your pussy, and when he finally fucks you it’s so rough—he loves to kiss you while he’s deep inside of you, something about it turns him on so much more. And of course he has to cum inside of you, he just loves how it feels.

Haechan is more of a switch, a bratty one too. He enjoys doing things that’ll piss you off, if he’s feeling more dominate that day he’ll edge you for hours. He’s so set on seeing you cry and beg, if he’s fingering you and he notices you getting close he’ll stop right before you finish—he’ll do this for so long until you finally break. “You look so cute baby, are you gonna cry? Hm? You gonna cry baby?” He loves teasing you, he gets off to the way you whimper and call his name. “Hyuck? D-Do…you look so cute when you beg.” When he fucks you he absolutely loves to make you look at him; seeing your eyes roll as you struggle to keep them open makes his toes curl. But when he’s submissive, the shoe is completely on the other foot. He’s so sensitive, if you touch his nipples even a little his body flinches. “You’re so cute like this Hyuck…” When you praise him he melts into such a mess, his voice cracks as you ride him—he’s so sensitive, he can hardly even speak from the feeling of your walls around him. You’re so warm, so wet, and he fits so perfectly inside of you. He gets so drunk on you when he’s being subby, and when he cums he has to hold you and have your body as close to his as possible.

Chenle is also a bratty switch, when hes subbing he’s so difficult and disobedient and when he’s a dom he’s so cruel. “You look so pretty on your knees baby, do you think you’ve earned it yet?” He’ll tease you when you’re sucking his dick, complimenting how pretty your lips look around his cock and pulling your hair as you look him in his eyes. When he fucks you he’s so vocal and so rough, biting, scratching, hair pulling—he likes it all. Of course he has to cum inside of you, he fucks you as deep as humanly possible and when he’s close he’ll tease you about how he’s going to get your pregnant one of these times. “You ready to have my baby?” He’s such a kinky fuck. But when he’s subbing…it’s like what he did to you is only a projection of what he wants. Slap him, bite him, pull his hair and degrade him; sit on his face and make him eat you out till his jaw locks. “You’re such a good boy for me.” Even the most basic praise in between humiliating him will reduce him to a pathetic and desperate animal in heat. When you’ve finally had your fill of him eating you out and decide that he’s worthy of fucking you he’s so overstimulated that he can’t even speak; all that comes out of his mouth is gibberish. But even in that state he can still beg to cum inside of you—and if he’s been good enough you’ll let him.

Renjun gives me model sub energy, like he wants you to treat him like a prince—buy him sexy outfits to wear, worship his body, and spoil him with kisses and pleasure. He loves it when you suck his dick, he gets off to the feeling of your lips and tongue before he gets to fuck you—and of course it’s his right to fuck you; he’s your spoiled baby after all. “Mhmm…just like that, it feels so good.” His moans are so pretty, it’s such a show when fucking him—the way his back arches and how his heavy dick throbs and twitches is so lewd and beautiful. By the time he’s inside of you he’s already cum three times, but he can last for another because it means he finally gets to be deep inside of you. When he’s on top his stroke game is amazing, it’s like his brain has moved to his dick from how perfectly he fucks you. His lips are red and kiss swollen and his entire face is flushed—when you get on top you can fully appreciate how beautiful his face looks when you please him. “S-So good…” his voice drifts off as his eyes roll, his head falls back into the pillows and he goes silent from how good you feel. When he finally cums he gasps for air and looks you right in your eyes—he loves to look at you and watch your face as he cums, you’re just so pretty and he loves you so much; he has to burn the image of you in his mind as he cums inside of you.

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stsgooo · 6 months

Text

Haunted.

✩࿐ summary: geto had suffered enough, why should he let you go too?

warning(s): suicidal thoughts/idealizations, death, poor coping mechanisms, gn!reader, depression, isolation, description of violence, angst no comfort, curse!reader, cult leader geto things, character study vibes, not proofread (sorry). wc; 15.7k

pairing(s): geto suguru/reader, geto suguru/gojo satoru/reader (briefly), geto suguru/gojo satoru

a/n: hii, been a while since i’ve written an x reader fic so hope this abides by everyone’s standards :) as i finished this, i realized that this probably should've been multiple parts because of how long it is, but it was too far gone at that point. anyway, i hope you enjoy and if you don't i would rather not hear about it!

available to read on ao3. | divider 1

I. 2005

SUGURU WAS SURE YOU HAD A DEATH WISH.

Out of everyone, it seemed as if you had some crazy switch in you that just flipped during a battle. It was as if you got tunnel vision and your every move was erratic, death the only option. It did not matter to you whether you lived or died. Saving others was your main and only goal. That scared him to death.

You were powerful. Powerful enough where you didn’t need to go all out on every curse that even hinted at having some type of power over you or others. Yet you always found yourself in Shoko’s room, sporting one cut too many, and a bright grin as if you weren’t pushing the limit. You would wave away any and all concern with that smile.

I’m just fine, you would roll your eyes at their worry. Really, you guys, stop fussing so much.

Suguru had argued with you about it before. Both of you had been sent on a mission to some elementary school, few kids had gone missing. You found the curse, and the kids, and a fight ensued. It was nothing crazy. Not until you practically served yourself on a platter for the curse and told Suguru to run away with the kids. Of course, he didn’t leave. What kind of friend would he be if he just let you die? What kind of sorcerer would he be if he just ran away while you were torn limb by limb? He’d be a failure of a sorcerer and a failure of a friend.

It bothered him. It enraged him how easily you threw your life away for others. A hint of danger and you were willing to get yourself killed over it. The complete disregard for your life in the first year that you all knew each other irked his very soul. Your behavior was worrisome. It confused him.

The buildup to his fight with you was a lot to unpack in itself.

The car ride from the hospital the kids were at was silent. Filled with a tension that unsettled his heart and he was sure unsettled your mind. You made no attempt at small talk or passing a good job, it was just silent. He silently thanked you for it. Because he was sure if you spoke then, he would’ve blown up. He would’ve said horrible things. So he silently thanked you for your silence, your silent allowance to let him think. You even fell asleep and Suguru couldn’t help but ask himself how you could sleep so soundly after such a close brush with death.

Three days later, he could tell Satoru and Shoko noticed the tension.

He knew they noticed it the moment you two returned. Your clothes soiled, face covered in mud and blood, hands all too shaky. Maybe it was the way you walked away from his side to great them. Or it was probably the way he glared at the wavering smile on your lips as you told them everything went fine. It was most definitely that.

Shoko was weary of it. At lunch, she’d sit between him and you. Her words were light as she teased and prodded, but never dared to ask the serious questions. She kept the air free of the awkwardness or the anger brewing. Shoko was kind like that. She was optimistic.

Satoru, however, wasn’t.

Although he seemed to abide by the silent rule not to ask you questions, he was practically grilling Suguru any given moment. He asked what happened. Why was Suguru so angry? Why were you acting so standoff-ish? Had something finally happened between you? Did Suguru get rejected and was he throwing himself a pity party? There were so many things that he threw out into the open like it was silly. As if Satoru derived some entertainment from the tension.

Do you ever notice they’re ready to get themselves killed for others? Suguru had thrown out to Satoru a week after the mission.

Satoru’s eyes lost the amusement and his smile dimmed. He pushed his glasses further up his nose. Of course I have. His voice was ridiculously serious and slow, extremely distant. As if recalling something he pushed to the back of his mind often. His attention had cut back to Suguru and shook his head. Man, it’s best to leave this alone. Trust me. Sensei will say something soon enough.

Suguru couldn’t help but worry that their first year teacher’s talk wouldn’t come soon enough.

Things just didn’t make sense to him. He just didn’t understand why you would be so willing to throw yourself into death like it was a blanket on a cold night. Sure, they’re meant to save people, but it didn’t mean death. Not everything had to be final. He feared that you just didn’t know it.

All of it came to a head when all four of you were placed on a mission three weeks after.

At this point, it was apparent that you both were avoiding each other. Different topics that neither of you wanted to address made headway into your dynamic. Distanced you both from one another like it was a bubble. A shield protecting you both from uncomfortable and frankly angry conversations.

But you did it again.

Sure, this time the curse was too much. Things weren’t looking too great for them. But the moment Suguru noticed you were missing from his and Satoru’s side, he felt panicked. He knew what was coming and knew what you’d say.

You caught the curse off guard as you jumped from the top banister, your large hammer at the ready. You shouted something along the lines that they should get out of there. But Suguru nor Satoru dared to run away. He watched, in horror, as you vanished into the curse’s mouth. As he was ready to summon his small arsenal of cursed spirits, the thing was cut from the stomach. Then you got its head.

There was silence as you stood amongst the carnage. Covered in the things purple goopy blood. Then you turned to them with that smile and Suguru lost it.

“What’s wrong with you?” He yelled, his voice echoing off the walls and converging on you. You looked shocked, eyebrows raised and faltering away from the pride to the confusion. He took in a shaky breath as he felt the built up anger from the past three weeks finally come up. “Do you have to throw yourself into danger like that?”

You frowned at him, then pathetically gestured at the curse. “It’s dead, isn’t it?”

Suguru pressed his hands against his face, letting out a deeply annoyed groan. “That’s not the point! The point is you threw yourself into its mouth! Like it was nothing!” He pushed himself forward to at least close the distance a little. Despite hearing Satoru’s soft protest, he needed to look you in the eye.

Your irritation was apparent as you furrowed your brow. “It doesn’t matter! Seriously, what’s your issue lately? You’ve been a complete asshole since that mission we went on. I thought you were just feeling bad for those kids, but you’ve acted completely different towards me!” Suguru could only clench his jaw at your obliviousness. There’s no way, right? There was absolutely no way you didn’t see what you were doing to them. To him. But when you said your next words, that thought was out the window. “Okay, so I threw myself into the middle of things, but so what?”

So what? So what. So fucking what?

Suguru felt something deep within him snap. As if there was a car underwater and the glass that was keeping the passengers safe suddenly cracked. His emotions, his clear mind, were the victims of the drowning. Buried deep under your ignorance.

“So what?” He snapped, his hands clenched into tight fists at his sides as he regarded you with unsettled rage. “So what? Are you serious? Like, are you dumb or are you just playing with me because I seriously can’t tell right now!”

You flinched at his tone and he could hear the shift of rubble behind him. “Suguru, hey—“ Satoru tried to de-escalate the situation but he was ignored.

“Excuse me?” You uttered, glaring up at him.

“Whenever we go on missions, you’re the first one throwing yourself at the thing like it isn’t serious. As if there’s not a high possibility that you’ll die! Every single time.” Suguru had a finger against your chest now. He wasn’t even sure when he had reached out, but he could feel the curse’s blood on his fingertip. It was cold and thick. Uncomfortable. But you were covered in it like it was nothing. Everything was nothing to you. “So, I’m asking you: are you dumb or just acting like you are?”

Your eyes were narrowed as you regarded him. “I know it’s dangerous, but sometimes that’s the only option.” Was all you had to say in response.

“You shouldn’t be the first one to die every time!” Suguru was desperate for his point to get across. For you to understand that it wasn’t the matter that it was dangerous— it was the fact that you were so willing and ready to have everyone live without you.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” You frowned.

Just understand I care. That if you were to die right in front of my eyes, I’d lose it. I’ve only known you for ten months, but I can’t imagine a world where you’re dead. You’re one of my best friends— the first friend I ever made, please don’t make me live longer than you. Were all the selfish things that Suguru wanted to say. That he should’ve said.

Instead, he asked, “Do you just want to die?”

There was a very long silence that kept them all from moving.

The question was posed and he could see it in your eyes. Could hear it in the words you didn’t speak. You looked away from him, shame settled on your face. Suddenly, you looked small compared to your usual large and boisterous self. Have you always been this small? Or was this something he was just realizing now?

It settled in his mind, suddenly, that he was right. His assumptions, rash and brazen, were right.

It made him queasy, lightheaded, as he stared at you.

“Y/N…” He uttered with a pale face. He desperately wanted to reach out, to grasp your shoulder— make some type of contact. But his limbs wouldn’t move. He wasn’t even sure if he was breathing or blinking. His mind just repeated the one fact he knew over and over.

You wanted to die. You didn’t care if you died out there, alone, because it was all the same to you. You were waiting for death as it was waiting for you. Like an old friend. You wanted to die.

Suguru felt the overwhelming urge to cry as it all settled. “You want to die?” He couldn’t help the whisper as he stared at you in horror.

Your cheeks were a deep crimson red, tears pooling in your eyes as you took a step back from him. “It-It’s not like that.”

Suguru slowly shook his head. “Y-Yo—“ You shouldn’t feel like that. Is what he wanted to say. But what good would that do? You knew that. You probably prayed you didn’t every day.

“I just— you guys are so important to the school and-and to me! If you guys died, they’d be scrambling and a lot of people would probably suffer. But if I died, then who would even care—?”

“I would!” Suguru couldn’t help the tears that collected in his eyes. Here he was, almost 16, crying in front of you. But he needed you to know he cared. That life wouldn’t be the same without you gracing it. He reached forward, grabbing your hands in a vice like grip. “I would care! If you died I would be miserable and I would miss you like crazy. Don’t say no one would care because, if it doesn’t matter that I care, then everyone would. You’re important to everyone. You matter.”

Your eyes were on him now, wide and unsteady as you regarded him with confusion and disbelief. “Suguru—“

“We would all care. Satoru would be so annoying without your stupid quips. Shoko would be miserable if there wasn’t anyone to get her cigarettes when she forgets. And I…I would lose it if you were dead. I would. I would lose my mind, I’d do something crazy like… like leave everything behind.” It felt wrong to say. To put such weight on you, but he needed to know the role you played. How important you are. He clenched his jaw in determination, eye contact unwavering as he squeezed your hands. “I’ll prove it to you. I swear on it. I’ll spend the rest of our lives proving it to you.”

“Better than anything I could say.” He heard Satoru utter behind them, then the tell tale yelp that came after Shoko slapped him upside the head.

You didn’t let that distract you as you fell forward into his arms. Clutching at his uniform as you let out a small cry. He held you up and listened as you dumped years worth of pain into his chest. Suguru couldn’t ever recall seeing you like this before. He never really wanted to see it again. You didn’t say anything in response to his rather embarrassing ramble to you. No, not to that.

Instead, all you said in return was, “thank you.”

II. 2006

Suguru was in love with you and Satoru.

He realized it the afternoon in Okinawa, all of you walking through the aquarium as Riko pointed out various fish that she knew too much information about. Of course, he wasn’t listening. He was much too focused on you and Satoru. The both of you had snuck away to a gift shop— proclaiming that you needed mementoes and souvenirs for your friends back home. You adorned an octopus hat while Satoru had various fish stickers pressed to his cheeks. You both more resembled children on a field trip than highly esteemed sorcerers.

Suguru loved it. He loved you both.

It was a sudden and rather scary realization.

It came over him as you placed another sticker on Satoru's face. The both of you releasing absurd laughs that had no business sounding so lovely. He could feel the small smile blossom on his own lips as Satoru argued that he'd have the "gooey stuff" all of his face later, which made you promise to help him clean it off with a rag. Then you placed a delicate kiss against his cheek. It was so nonchalant, something they should all be used to, but it was always so jarring. Satoru stared at you with wide eyes behind his glasses, then he grinned. Wide and devious.

Suguru's heart soared.

He wanted nothing more than to reach out, to grab both of you and kiss you like there was no tomorrow. To promise his heart and his life to you both. It would be easy. It would be mere second nature to him. Suguru may just be realizing how deeply he loved you and Satoru, but he was almost sure that he'd felt this way since month five of your first year.

Surely, it shouldn't be a surprise. You three had been getting bold lately. Shoko was even commenting on it. The late nights in your room, the both of them curled up at your side. The domesticity of one of you returning to your dorm and being greeted by the other two. You all had a routine. A promise to come back through the door and have another fight of arguing over what's for dinner. Or something obscure that he wouldn't put up with with anyone else.

He just wanted to tell you and Satoru that he finally feels normal in the world. With you both by his side. That when he has your skin pressed against his, he feels like he could take on the world. That Satoru makes him feel childish and free like he couldn't be when he was a kid. That his kisses were sweet and soft. He just wanted to tell you that he loved you.

But Suguru saw your eyes stray away from Satoru's and the smile faded away. "We have to give her a choice." You said suddenly.

Both Satoru and Suguru moved their attention to Riko. The girl was standing in front of a expansive tank, watching in amazement as the fish zoomed by. The girl unaware of their watchful eyes as she turned to Kuroi and asked her to enjoy the fish too.

Suguru and Satoru had acknowledged that you were probably the last person who should be on this mission almost immediately. It wasn't that you weren't well fit for it, or that you would be too detached, or not want to get involved— it was that you had warmed up to Riko immediately. The girl had become your shadow. She asked about your technique and how "two idiots" like them were able to be in your presence. She amused you and you amused her. Then she asked you what you thought about her merger and you told her you thought it was something you shouldn't get involved in.

But Suguru and Satoru saw it in your eyes. They knew what you thought the moment Yaga had said the word "erase".

You wanted to save her.

"I knew you'd say that." Satoru snorted, leaning back against the tank they stood before. His eyes rolled upwards to look at the dolphin swim pass across from them. "You're always meddling."

You glared at him. "I don't meddle!"

"You do." Satoru said fondly. "What did I say, Suguru? They'd meet the girl and meddle, right?"

You snapped your eyes to Suguru who shyly stuck his hands in his pockets, shrugging. "You did say that." I did not. Suguru used kinder words— like you cared about Riko and you'd probably not want to see her throw away her barely lived life for Tengen-sama.

You pouted, picking at the railing next to Satoru. "Am I that predictable?"

"Only because we know you so well." Satoru teased with a small smile. Then his eyes cut back to Riko who was gradually making her way further down the area. As much as Satoru would deny it, Suguru could tell that he'd come to grow fond of the girl as well. "What do you propose we do, exactly?"

Now Suguru was looking back to you. He could see the shock in your eyes as they snapped up to Satoru— as if you couldn't believe he was playing into whatever ideas you were tossing around. There was a spark of hope in your eyes and Suguru had to look away to prevent the smile that wanted to spread across his face. Instead, he'd let his heart do that weird skip it usually did whenever you and Satoru were particularly adorable.

"All I want is for her to have a choice," Your voice was compassionate as you started. The look in your eyes distant as you turned your attention towards the small tank in front of you three. The portioned tank that had different beta fishes separated. Together they're deadly. Apart, they find peace. Riko had explained. "The way she's talked about everything... the merger with Tengen-sama— that's what she was born for. She's proud of it. But given the choice, she wanted to spend her last day with her friends. She wanted to go to school and hang out with them because she knew she'd never see them again. Instead of really wanting to do this, she's just doing it because she feels like she has to. Where's the freedom in that?"

Suguru smiled softly at you. "So we give her a choice." He agreed with a small nod, finding satisfaction with the brightness in your eyes.

"We'll have to fight Tengen, you know that?" Satoru kept his eyes steady on Riko as he questioned the two of you. Both of you blink, obviously not having considered that detail. "They'll put up a fight— probably other sorcerers too. Freeing Riko might mean we leave Jujutsu High."

Suguru let his mind wander. Would he really mind if the three of you left? Not really. If the three of you have to fight Tengen-sama, then he'd gladly fight them by your side. If you both wanted, he'd destroy the world. Then gladly live his final moments with you both at his side. That was a fact that he knew to be true in his soul.

"I'll gladly do so." You answered without hesitation. Of course you would, you self sacrificial fool. A bitter part of Suguru said. There was no question that you'd put your life on the line for Riko. "If her choice is to live life, then I'll fight Tengen."

"And you'll win?" Satoru asked.

You raised an eyebrow. "We're the strongest, aren't we? Us three?"

Something about your words made Suguru 100% sure that he wouldn't allow you both to walk alone in the world. Together, there wasn't anything you three couldn't take on.

Satoru finally turned from Riko to stare at you with a self assured smirk.

Oh, Suguru thought with a stutter in his heart. He'd already made up his mind before you did.

"Well, well! I thought you were above all that we're the strongest crap!" Satoru teased, throwing his arm around your shoulders as you rolled your eyes. "Don't be so entitled, Satoru. You're making Haibara and Nanami feel less than, Satoru. You sound ignorant, Satoru. Look who's high and mighty now!"

"Oh, stop!" You pushed his arm away, but your smile was fond. You turned back to the beta fish. "Sure, it's a little entitled, but right now, I'm being nice."

"Thank you, thank you, my beloved royalty." Satoru dramatically bowed before you. You uttered something about him being dramatic, which went ignored. The white haired sorcerer reached over and slapped Suguru's arm, peeking at him fondly from behind his glasses. "Suguru, bow for your deity!"

Suguru was about to decline, until you spoke up. "You're ridiculous, you know that? Don't do that." Suddenly, he felt inclined to follow suit.

Both of them were now bowed behind you, uttering their dramatic praises as you blushed, attempting to ignore them as people walked pass and stared. Suguru peeked up at you as you watched the beta fish swim around. In that moment, he prayed that nothing changed.

Things weren't right.

Things weren't right but you were so calm.

Silently, Suguru could only shoot a thankful glance in your direction as the elevator creaked under the strain of four people. He could tell you were worried but your expression was determined to stay pieced together. Satoru was above ground, fighting against that man— Suguru couldn't think about it. It was too much in the mess of things.

The elevator came to a screeching halt and there was no hesitation on your part to push the doors open. You seemed quicker, your movements a little stilted as you exited the elevator and, instead of looking at the three behind you, you kept your gaze on the various entrances. He could tell you were irritated. He could tell you were worried. Or nervous.

No, you were scared.

His attention turned towards Riko and Kuroi who were exchanging a heartfelt, tearful goodbye. They clutched onto each other— Kuroi told her to be brave and Riko promised she would. Then they separated and Suguru promised that he'd come back once everything was done to escort Kuroi to safety.

The trek to the Star Corridor was long and quite.

There wasn't much Suguru could say to comfort you because there wasn't much he could reassure himself with. His worries for Satoru were overbearing in his mind and he couldn't try and fool himself into trying to bear the weight of your anxiety as well. Both of you knew this, so you didn't dare try to comfort one another.

There's nothing wrong. Everything's going to be okay. We're the strongest. Satoru will join us once this is over. Were the things Suguru soothed himself with.

"Is this...?" Riko uttered as they finally broke through to the outskirts of where Tengen homes themself.

"Yes," Suguru confirmed as he came to a stop beside the younger girl. "We're just outside of where Master Tengen resides. This is the country's base for primary barriers. The main hall of the tombs of the Star Corridor."

"Basically, it's their home." You said flatly, coming to Riko's other side, your eyes moving over the vast area. It was quiet, dark, and looked isolated. Nothing that brought any welcomeness for the eternity to come.

Suguru tried not to let his gaze linger on the woeful look painting your face now. He cleared his throat and pointed. "Go down the stairs and pass the gate. Then head toward the base of that huge tree. It's protected by a different barrier than the one around Jujutsu High. Only those invited may enter. You'll be protected by Master Tengen until the merger."

Riko's expression turned sorrowful as she followed the path Suguru paved with her eyes. This was the end. Her fun and the little life she lived was at its finish. She clenched her hands at her sides and made a move to continue forward, without them.

"Or we can turn back and go home to Kuroi."

Riko's eyes snapped to you. Your eyes were compassionate and a small smile graced your features that was more reassuring than any words that could be spoken. She looked a little pale, but the glow of hope suddenly appeared.

"What?" The girl uttered.

You turned to her fully, keep your expression soft. "When our taecher assigned us this mission, he used the word 'erase'. It's like, deep down, he knew something was wrong with this and, for a muscle guy, he doesn't usually beat around the bush." You looked like you wanted to chuckle at your own jab at Yaga, but didn't have the energy. Instead, you sighed. "I talked to Suguru and Satoru and we all came to the decision that if the kid who is the Star Plasma Vessel should refuse the merger then we call it off."

Riko's eyes widened even further and tears were on the cusp of falling as she stared at the both of you.

"We're the strongest," Suguru offered gently, offering a closed eyed smile to the girl. "No matter what you choose, we promise to protect your future."

Riko's lips quivered as her eyes bounced between you two and the vast nothingness of Tengen's home. She took in a shaky breath. "Ever since I was born, I've been told I'm special and different. Being special was normal for me. I've survived till now by staying away from danger... My parents died in a car crash. I don't remember it. I'm not say or lonely anymore." She started to fiddle with her hands as her words grew more unsteady. You moved to press against her side, hands rested against her shoulders. "That's why... with the merger, I thought I'd be okay... leaving everyone. No matter how painful it became, I believed that, some day, the sadness and loneliness would disappear."

"You just need the right person." You uttered to her, her eyes snapping up at you as tears silently streamed down her face. "You need that one person to prove that there's beautiful things out there— that there's kindness and love. I know. I understand, Riko."

The girl bursts into tears, a trail of snot ran from her nose as she shook with her cries. "I want to stay with everyone a bit longer!" Her voice seemed to echo around the two of you. "I want to go to more places and see more things with everyone! More!"

Both you and Suguru smiled softly. His hand reached out while you squeezed her shoulders. "Riko, let's go home." He beckoned her forward.

"Yeah!"

Suguru registered the shot last second, but it was too late for him to truly do anything.

He's never quite seen anything like it.

You were smiling, you looked free from your worries for one second.

Then you were falling. Your face slack and eyes blank. You fell against the ground with a deafening thud. Blood pooled around your head, chunks of your brain scattered across the ground. Your eyes.

They're so blank.

Suguru barely registered Riko's scream. His eyes couldn't leave you even as the girl screamed and screamed, hands clutching at her head as she stared at your body beside her.

You were just speaking a moment ago. You were smiling. How could this happen?

Your eyes are so blank.

"Y-Y/N...." Suguru uttered, eyes wide and face pale.

He felt sick. He didn't feel right. This wasn't right. Why were you on the ground? Why were you bleeding? Why can't he move? Why can't he breathe? Are you going to get up? Please get up.

Riko continued to scream. She just wouldn't stop. Her once hopeful eyes were now reduced to horror and terror as she smeared the blood covering the side of her face. None of it hers.

It's yours.

Your eyes are blank.

What are you doing? Get up. Get up. Smile. Just breathe. Get up. Please, I'll do anything. I'll listen to you ramble about those books you love so much. I'll buy you those disgusting snacks you crave. I'll do anything for you.

Please don't die.

Your eyes are blank.

"Oh," groaned a voice that rattled Suguru's soul. "I missed."

Suguru slowly turned his head to stare at the man. The one that had stabbed Satoru through the chest and had talked to him like an old friend. The one that was now standing, clutching a gun in his hand, pouting as if he was amused by his miscalculation.

As if your death was something he hadn't accounted for.

"How..." Suguru's voice doesn't feel like his own. It feels like he's out of body. As if something else is controlling him. He felt something warm on his cheek, but he couldn't reach for it. His limbs felt heavy, his hands cold. What was happening? Why did everything feel so muddled? "How'd you get here?"

Still, Riko screamed.

Still, your eyes were blank.

The man frowned. "How...?" Suddenly, he chuckled and pressed the side of the gun to his temple. "I see. I killed Gojo Satoru."

Suguru was swarmed with an unfamiliar feeling of rage. You and Satoru had once praised him for his ability to remain calm and level headed when things seemed to crumbled around all of you. He was the voice of reason— your moral compass. The map that lightened your way.

Suddenly, he felt like he was reduced to nothing but rage and this empty feeling in his chest.

Your eyes are blank.

Gojo Satoru is dead.

"I see..." Suguru growled, his eyes unmoved from the man across from him. "Then die!"

III. 2007

Suguru didn't feel right.

Although, he hadn't felt right for 11 months. 47 weeks, and five days. 8,016 hours. 480,960 minutes. 28,857,600 seconds.

He hadn't been right since the moment you dropped dead.

Your eyes were blank.

He wasn't enough to fight against Fushiguro Toji. The man had ruthlessly downed him then killed Riko. It was like it was nothing. He came, he killed, then he left.

Suguru had laid amongst the rubble of Toji's doing and stared into your blank eyes. He still wasn't sure how long it was. He couldn't move and he could barely breathe as the blood from his chest trickled to the stone and concrete under him. Your eyes stared lifelessly into his own. Endlessly. A never-ending staring contest that he pleaded to end.

The entire time he laid on the floor of Tengen's barrier. His mind only repeated one thing.

Please get up. Please be alive. Please get up. Please get up.

Your brains had scattered across the floor and your eyes were unmoving but he spent so much time just pleading with you to snap out of it. He thought he was enough. He apologized for not being enough.

Please get up. I promised to prove it to you.

There was a point he passed out. He could remember thinking, thankfully, that he was going to die. And he swore he heard your gurgled call for him.

Then, he woke up.

Shoko had looked distraught. He could still remember the way she eyed him wearily through red rimmed eyes. Cautious as she told him that you were dead. As she told him Satoru was gone.

Gone. But not dead.

Suguru had, very briefly, rejoiced in Satoru's survival.

Shoko said she cleaned your blood off his cheek.

Suguru hated her for a while after that.

He didn't stay at the infirmary for long. Despite Shoko telling him that Yaga wanted to see him and that he shouldn't move around yet, he dragged himself away. He dragged himself to the cult. He dragged himself along the side walk with his mind flashing with images of your blank eyes.

Was that all death was? Nothingness? Did it comfort you? Did it welcome you? Was it everything you imagined?

His mind wouldn't rest.

He could remember as he entered the building. As he heard the resounding and endless applause. He mindlessly entered and was meant with a never-ending crowd, parting as they just clapped, and clapped, and clapped. It rumbled through his ears, bouncing around his brain.

Your eyes were blank.

When the crowd parted, he remembered the clench of his heart as Satoru, bloodied and blank, appeared. He carried Riko's body in his arms. Lifelessly moving forward. His eyes stared right through Suguru.

"You're late," Satoru had teased blankly. His voice distant and flat. It missed its usual punch. "No.... I guess your're early."

Suguru remembered the confusion that washed over him as he stared at the one he loved. "Satoru... is that you...?"

What happened to you?

"It looks like you saw Shoko." Satoru had sounded like he wasn't entirely aware of his surroundings. Or he didn't care. "Is Y/N there right now?"

Suguru didn't have the heart then. He could remember silently apologizing to you, but he hadn't thought Satoru could handle the news of your death amongst this room.

"Shoko fixed me up fine." His eyes had moved to Riko's limp hand and he felt sick. Her screams were still in his mind. He almost threw up. "I'm sorry."

"I'm the one who messed up. Don't worry about it." Satoru had easily deflected.

Suguru couldn't handle the clapping. They just didn't stop. They clapped, and clapped, and clapped.

Your eyes were blank.

"Suguru," Satoru's voice had stopped him in his tracks. His voice was so detached and so odd. Suguru couldn't handle much change then. He couldn't handle hearing Satoru so different. Not then. "Do you want to kill them all?"

Suguru could remember the shock that shook his body. Could remember the bitterness that immediately followed. The realization that he would love nothing more than to unleash the worst on these people and sum their deaths up as their lives— useless.

"Suguru," He had sworn he heard your voice, distorted and all too sweet. His back stiffened and his eyes widened. "Do you hate them, Suguru?"

He did. He hated them. He wanted them all to burn. He wanted them to suffer. Suguru would've loved nothing more than to have heard all of them plead for their lives. To have the same terror that Riko had when she realized her life was coming to an end. To have that same blank look in their eyes as you had.

Your eyes were blank.

"It's pointless." Suguru had shot down emotionless. He still wasn't sure if he was answering that tiny voice in his head or Satoru, maybe it was both. Who really cared?

"Pointless, huh?" Satoru walked past Suguru and started to make his way outside. "Does there need to be a reason?"

"Of course, it's important." Suguru had easily answered. "Especially as Jujutsu Sorcerers."

11 months. 47 weeks, and five days. 8,016 hours. 480,960 minutes. 28,857,600 seconds later, he believed that was all bullshit.

It surprised him how much and how little could change in a year.

The way everyone seemingly returned to normal and he was left in the past.

Suguru felt like his life was now segregated into two sections: Before the Star Plasma Vessel assignment and after the Star Plasma Vessel assignment. Before and after you.

He realized, quickly and bitterly, that the after you was worse than the before.

Before he knew of your existence, he was happy to be alone. He embraced the fact that kids at school thought him odd, unapproachable. That they would whisper about his habits behind his back. He was happy to know that no one wanted to be around him. It meant they didn't see what he saw. He didn't know anything else.

But the after you was considerably worse.

You had given him that breath of fresh air. That love that he had unknowingly reached out for his entire life. The way you and Satoru had touched him, he didn't even know his heart ached for that type of love. He didn't know he was depraved until you showed him.

He hated it. For a moment, he hated you.

In the first weeks after your death, he felt angry. He was bitter. Even as Satoru rubbed his back in bed. Even as he told Suguru it wasn't his fault. Even as everyone told him that you would hate to see him like that. He felt a hatred. A regret.

For months, he hated you.

He'd ignore topics centered around you. He ignored the day that Shoko and Satoru cleaned out your dorm for a new first year. He was stagnant and blank at the funeral your family held. When everyone walked up to recall memories about you, he didn't. He just listened and he thought that none of them truly captured you. They said you were kind, that you were funny, that you went our of your way to help whoever needed it.

If it was Suguru up there, he would've said you were selfish. That you always put your life on the line when it wasn't needed. That you were arrogant. That you could really make him worry.

But he loved you.

That's what he hated most. Isn't that the worst?

He hated that he loved the way he missed your hugs, your reassurances. He hated that he missed worrying about you. That he wouldn't ever see you again. That he wouldn't join you on a mission and be forced to listen to Yaga or fellow students worry about your sanity. He missed that sometimes you would play into Satoru's words, like saying the three of you were strongest together.

"Hey," Satoru called from across the training yard. Suguru barely looked up. "Have you lost some weight? Are you okay?"

Satoru became "The Strongest". His abilities were starting to blossom and it allowed him to work by himself. The higher-ups sent them alone. And Suguru hadn't felt more confined in his life.

"I'm just a little tired from the summer heat." Suguru easily explained it away, his hands buried deep within his pockets. "It's not a problem."

"Maybe you had too much somen noodles?" Satoru asked, niavely.

"No," Suguru wanted to snap at him. "It's the fact I can't eat without feeling sick. I can't taste anything except the fucking vomit of the curses. I hate it. I hate it. I'm always sick. I'm so hungry. But I can't eat."

Instead, he sighed. "Maybe."

The curse population was springing up like maggots. Everywhere and all consuming. The summer had been busy and Suguru truly was tired. In his heart, he started to blame the mess of last year for the increase of curses. It was easier to blame that than nothing. It was better to put a face to his suffering rather than blame himself.

The repetitiveness of his life was becoming crushing.

An endless cycle of exorcism and consumption.

Exorcise. Consume.

You had once asked him what curses tasted like. Under a beautiful tree and a beautiful night sky. You stared at him from your place on the ground. "Suguru, what does it taste like?"

"It's a taste nobody knows." He had explained. "Like ingesting a rag used to wipe up vomit."

Exorcise. Consume.

"Oh," You had uttered, a heavy frown on your lips as you pondered on it. "I'm sorry."

Exorcise. Consume.

He didn't need your pity then. But it had been nice. It felt nice for someone to pretend they understand the disgust, the bitter tang. He pretended that it helped.

"Thanks."

Then, you asked, "Would it help if you had mints?"

No. "Yes."

That first Christmas you all spent together, you got him mints. And, despite it doing nothing, he still popped one in his mouth every time. False hope that something could push down the disgust he had for his technique, for what he was considered special for. What lengths he went to save people.

For what?

Every since that day, the day you and Riko died, it's been running through Suguru's head. That everything he saw, Toji, your blood, your brains, the never-ending applause of the cult members— it was a hideous evil known to everyone. What he saw wasn't anything out of the ordinary. Still, knowing that, he protects them as a Jujutsu sorcerer.

"We can't lose our way." You had reassured one day when the curse you and him were fighting was particularly ruthless. It had killed so many people that the both of you hadn't been the same for weeks. "Don't lose your way. We just have to follow through with our duty as sorcerers."

The thunderous applause took over that of his heart.

"Monkeys." Suguru uttered in the shower. The first time he whispered it. His eyes unmoving from the wall as the water trickled down, down, and down.

Your eyes were blank.

"Do you hate them, Suguru?"

His hand clenched above him. "Fucking monkeys."

He snapped the water off and robotically dried himself off.

Suguru felt like he was merely living through the motions. That he was being guided other peoples words and the wind itself. He was merely a leaf being blown away. There wasn't anything he could do to stop it. Nothing he could do to ground himself and force himself to take the wheel. To be in control. He could only watch on.

He found himself hunched over on the bench near the vending machines. He barely acknowledged the rain that poured outside. It was one of those days. Those days where the weather matched his mood and made it considerably worse. Maybe he could get away with hiding inside his dorm. Being curled on the bed and not appearing until the rain was well gone— when Satoru couldn't ask him if he's ate.

He closed his eyes in defeat. How could loneliness possibly feel worse now than it did then? He'd been alone for years before. Why was it worse now?

"Hi! Mister Geto!"

Suguru's eyes snapped open and dragged upwards. "Haibara..."

You liked Haibara. You said so on his first day. When he enthusiastically introduced himself to everyone— gave his blood type and his family history. You had laughed for twenty minuets. You said that Haibara was like a breath of fresh air. He had no idea what he was getting into and he was happy. Suguru said you were looking into it too much. You didn't agree. Then you invited both him and Nanami to join you all on a trip to Shinjuku.

You liked Haibara. He was sweet.

You liked Haibara. So did Suguru.

"Hope all is well!" Haibara continued, seemingly ignorant to the war raging on in Suguru's mind.

You liked Haibara. You trained him. He was sweet.

So did Suguru. "What can I get you to drink?" Suguru asked, pulling some change from his pockets.

"I couldn't possibly—" Haibara's eyes glanced at the vending machine then his eyes brightened. "I'll take a coke!"

Suguru couldn't help the little laugh that broke through his lips. Amusement in his eyes for the first time in a while as he gently dropped the change into the junior's cupped palm. Haibara pratically skipped over to the vending machine, dropping the coins in, and retrieved his coke.

Fully expecting him to carry on with a thanks, Suguru was a little surprised that he sat down beside him and smiled big.

"My mission tomorrow is pretty far away." The boy started, wiggling with excitement.

Suguru smiled softly. "That so? I'll be expecting a souvenir then."

"You got it! Something sweet or savory?"

"Satoru will probably have some too, so maybe something sweet."

This was the normal. It felt refreshing for everything to be so normal. A silent agreement amongst the second and third years to get everyone who asked a souvenir from their respective mission areas. It made for interesting foods or items. Silly things that he could place on his shelf or for him to take a bite and Satoru to steal the rest. Usually complaining about how no one ever gets him anything. Just like Okinawa when you picked that hat—

Your eyes were empty.

Suguru's smile faded away.

"Haibara..." He spoke, not entirely aware if his junior was speaking before he was. But Haibara's eyes moved to him with curiosity. He bowed his head once again. "Are you okay with being a Jujutsu sorcerer? Doesn't it bother you?"

Immediately, the junior took the question seriously. His chin rested between his finger and thumb, eyes narrowed in thought. "Hm... good question..." He uttered, a vague pout on his lips. "I'm not really the type to think too hard about things..."

"I don't think we should underestimate Haibara or Nanami." You had defended the two new boys against Satoru's beratement one day. Your eyes cut to where they were practicing against Yaga's cursed dolls. "We all started somewhere. I'm sure they'll surprise us one day."

"Giving my all toward something I know I can help with is a great feeling!" Haibara finally answered, snapping his fingers and looking at Suguru head on.

Suguru couldn't help the way his eyes widened. For whatever reason, his answered shocked him. It was a pure answer. Further proof that Suguru was different from everyone else. Proved that he was slowly losing a part of himself. Haibara hadn't been graced with the same tragedy he had. He didn't know the cruelty of people and was still hopeful.

"I see..." Suguru uttered, looking away once again.

"You're right." Spoke another voice that neither of them know. Both of the boys looked over to the woman that stood a few feet from them. She was tall, long blonde hair and she wore a smile on her face. "Are you Geto? What kind of girls are you into?"

Your eyes were blank.

He only stared in return.

"I like girls with healthy appetites!" Haibara answered happily.

Suguru frowned. "Haibara."

"It's fine!" He turned to Surguru with a bright light in his eyes. "She's not a bad person. I'm a pretty good judge of character!"

Suguru felt something in his chest shift.

"Do you hate them, Suguru?"

"You say that while sitting next to me?" He uttered, sparing the junior a sidelong glance.

"Of course!" Haibara didn't hesitate.

The woman laughed, resting a hand on her hip. "He was being sarcastic, kid!"

No, I'm not. Suguru almost felt compelled to say. But he didn't have the energy. There wasn't any point in arguing with this stranger either. She didn't know him and he didn't know her. Something he would happily continue to stay true.

Embarrassed, Haibara excused himself with the woman quickly taking his spot. In an instant, Suguru drew back and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Is he your junior? Such an honest and cute kid."

Suguru couldn't help the distasteful glare he sent from the side. "As a jujutsu, he shouldn't be so trusting." He said bitterly.

The woman looked a little discouraged by his little jab, but continued on. "And you, Geto? Are you going to answer my question?"

"Answer mine first— who are you?"

The woman raised her chin, a small smirk on her lips. "Special grade sorcerer Yuki Tsukumo. Ring a bell?"

"You're the...?"

Yes. Yes, it did. Suguru thought bitterly.

He could distinctly recall you rambling on about Tsukumo. On how you wished you could be like her. Someone highly recognized and didn't care what the higher-ups said— just lived her life. To Suguru, it sounded like Tsukumo was kind of a failure. But to you, it was as if she was a symbol of something amazing. Proof that something that was suddenly attainable to you.

Suguru had been convinced you just had a crush on her.

"Nice! The what?"

Suguru clenched his jaw at her interruption of his thoughts. "The no-good special grade who doesn't take on any missions and just bums around overseas." He informed her flatly.

The woman's smile slipped away and she pouted heavily. "I hate Jujutsu High!" She fell back, her elbows rested on the back of the bench. She sulking. "Just kidding. But I'm not lying when I say we don't see eye-to-eye. What they do here is treat symptoms. What I want is to get at the root cause."

Suguru couldn't help perking up with interest. "The root cause?" He asked slowly.

"I don't want to exorcise curses after they appear. I want a world where curses don't even exist."

He stared at her in shock. A world without curses? He felt like he could almost rejoice. His heart gave a little skip and he almost felt like things were normal.

"How about a little lesson? Tell me, what are curses anyway?"

He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. "Curses are created when cursed energy leaks from humans. It then gathers like sediment and takes form." He answered easily. It was something taught in their first year, something everyone knows.

"Excellent," Tsukumo encouraged, nodding. "If that's the case, there are two ways to create a world where curses no longer exist: one, eradicate cursed energy from all humanity. Two, teach humans how to control their cursed energy. The first one's not a bad idea. There was a model case for it after all."

"A model case?"

"Someone you're familiar with: Zen'in Toji."

Almost instantly, Suguru felt an anger rush over him. Toji. That was someone else that he tried to avoid thinking about. Usually, it only led to thoughts darker than when he thought about you. He thought about the various things he would've done to Fushiguro if given the chance. The slow and torturous death he would've given to him if he had the chance. He doubted it would eat away the hatred in his heart, but Suguru would take anything to have him suffer as you did. As he did.

"There have been several cases where heavenly restriction has reduced a person's cursed energy to normal levels. But to eradicate one's cursed energy completely... I've searched all over the world, and he's the only one who's ever done it. But that's not the only thing that's interesting about him. Despite not having cursed energy, Zen'in Toji was able to sense curses using his five sense. By eliminating all cursed energy, his body became sharpened to the point where he developed a resistance to curses."

A part of Suguru really wanted to tell Tsukumo that he didn't care. That monster died and he was glad to hear it. Even if he was the only way to get rid of curses, he was overjoyed that the man was dead now.

"Don't feel bad about losing him." Suguru scoffed, face blank. "I wanted to research him but he blew me off. It's too bad he died."

You smiled at Riko. You held her shoulders. You were going to take her home.

Your eyes were blank.

I killed Gojo Satoru.

"Cases of heavenly restriction are few and far between. So my focus is on two." Tsukumo seemed completely unaware of Suguru's mind raging on while she spoke. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "Did you know, jujutsu sorcerers don't give birth to curses?"

That snapped Suguru out of his thoughts. He slowly dragged his eyes to stare at the side of the woman's head as she carried on.

"Of course, that's excluding cases where sorcerers become curses after death—" Do you hate them, Suguru? "—The amount of cursed energy that leaks from sorcerers, compared to from non-sorcerers, is extremely low. There is a difference in how much we consume and use cursed energy because of our profession. But the real reason lies in how it flows through us. For sorcerers, it flows heavily within us. If we're talking general terms— if every single human became a jujutsu sorcerer, no curse would ever be born again."

Suguru's world as he knew it, paused.

The thunderous applause returned. The cheers as Satoru carried Riko's body through the crowd.

The deafening thud of your body as you fell lifelessly to the ground. Riko's scream as your blood painted half of her face. The way his heart echoed against his head as he stared.

You eyes were blank.

Those people. Humans. Non-sorcerers. They created the world that killed you. They created a world where he was alone.

Do you hate them, Suguru?

"Then why not just kill every non-sorcerer?" He asked softly, not daring to lift his head or eyes from between his feet.

There was a silence between the two of them that made him tense up. He said something wrong. But why didn't it feel wrong? Why didn't the suggestion disgust him or make him sweat? Why did it feel like an idea that was meant to be said?

"Geto," Tsukumo finally spoke, voice slow and calculated. "That is an option."

What?

"In fact, that might be the easiest route!"

Suguru slowly lifted his eyes from the floor and stared at the woman next to him with wide eyes. Now, he felt it. He felt the sweat on his brow. It's an option. "What?" He uttered, tilting his head to try and meet her eye as she stared into the distance. "Um..."

"Weed out non-sorcerers and make them adapt to a jujutsu sorcerer based society. In other words, forced evolution. Kinda like how birds grew wings. Using dear and danger as a catalyst."

It's an option. Suguru couldn't shake his stare. He was holding his breath and just staring at her.

"But," There it is. "I aint' that crazy."

She looked amused, but she didn't know him. She didn't know his feelings and the fact that he hated—

"Do you hate non-sorcerers, Geto?" She asked it sincerely.

Do you hate them, Suguru?

His eyes went back the floor, ashamed. "I don't know." He started with a whisper. "I used to think jujutsu sorcerers existed to protect non-sorcerers. But recently, I've been doubting whether non-sorcerers are worth fighting for. The preciousness of the weak. The ugliness of the weak. I can no longer tell the difference. The part of me that looks down on non-sorcerers.... the part of me that tries to resist that feeling...."

The thunderous applause returned. The cheers as Satoru carried Riko's body through the crowd.

The deafening thud of your body as you fell lifelessly to the ground. Riko's scream as your blood painted half of her face. The way his heart echoed against his head as he stared.

You eyes were blank.

"If being a jujutsu sorcerer is like running a marathon, then the finish line is too unclear." Suguru placed a hand against his forehead, hairs tangled between his fingers. "I don't know what I really feel."

"It's understandable, you know?" Suguru glanced at her with a frown as she eyed him contemplatively. "You watched your friend die, right? It's never easy. Messes you up. I'm sure I don't have to tell you."

You don't.

"Death and mourning something can really conjuring some nasty things in your mind. Like killing non-sorcerers— you want to take that anger out on someone. The anger for your friend's life being taken away." She explained it like it was so easy, as if she knew his next steps when he did not. "But looking down on non-sorcerers... resisting that feeling... those are just possibilities you've thought of. Whatever your true feeling is, you still have to decide."

The conversation didn't lead to anywhere else and Suguru was feeling himself grow more tired the more he stayed away from his dorm. He was about to excuse himself when Tsukumo asked for him to follow her out. She didn't say much on the way out and Suguru was grateful for it.

The woman got on her bike and waved at him. "I'll see ya! I was hoping to say hi to Gojo as well. Bad timing, I guess." She slid her goggles on. "As fellow special grade sorcerers, let's all three of us get along, okay?"

Suguru gave her his best smile, which wasn't much. "I'll send you regards to Gojo."

Tsukumo smiled, starting up her bike. She was about to ride off when she looked back at him. "One last thing. Don't worry about what happened with the Star Plasma Vessel. Whether there was another vessel or another vessel was born— whatever happened, Tengen is stabilized."

He didn't think it possible, but his hatred grew. Tengen is stabilized.

The thunderous applause returned. The cheers as Satoru carried Riko's body through the crowd.

The deafening thud of your body as you fell lifelessly to the ground. Riko's scream as your blood painted half of her face. The way his heart echoed against his head as he stared.

You eyes were blank.

Tengen is stabilized.

Suguru bowed his head as she drove off. "I figured."

What the fuck had you died for, anyway?

Haibara was dead and he'd seen the body. The entire time Suguru thought of you.

As Nanami attempted to hold back tears, as he explained that they were caught off guard by a special grade, Suguru saw you in Haibara's place.

Both of you victims of a system created to protect people who weren't grateful. Who didn't even know you exist. People who had spared both of you not a single glance despite being so caring, so selfless. Who were they to put this unbearable burden on everyone's shoulders then act like you were different?

Haibara was sweet. You liked him. So did Suguru.

Haibara was dead. So were you. Suguru felt hatred build in him.

As he stared at Haibara's bloodied face, he had thought one thing: who would suffer for this death?

Gojo completed the mission. Gojo exorcised the curse. Gojo. Gojo. Gojo. Gojo.

Gojo.

Why should Gojo be the one wrecking havoc? When it was Suguru that was filled with rage? When he was the one that wanted nothing more than to harm the ones that caused this all?

Do you hate them, Suguru?

"What is this?" Suguru asked slowly, staring at the sight before him.

Two girls seemingly coward away from him. Their faces bloodied and bruised. The cage that contained them offered no comfort. Just the cold hard ground and the darkness. They shook under his gaze and he couldn't find it in himself to look away. He couldn't turn around and question the people behind him. He did not know what he'd do if he looked them in the eyes as they explained themselves.

"What do you mean? These two are responsible for the incident, right?" Asked one man.

Suguru clenched his jaw. "No, they are not."

"These two possess strange powers and often attack the villagers."

This was of your own creation.

"I already dealt with the cause for the incident."

"My grandchild nearly died because of these two!" Protested the elderly woman as if she realized that Suguru wasn't going to believe these two were responsible.

The blonde child leaned forward. "That was because they—"

"Shut up you monsters!"

"Your parents were the same! I knew we should've killed you when you were born!"

As the two adults berated the children, Suguru came to a decision. His heart was no longer torn in two. As he stared at the girl's, his resolution was made.

He lifted his finger and a shadowed curse sprouted. "It-It'll be okay..." The girls stared at him with wide eyes, almost relieved. If he were a different man. If he in a different mindset then, he would've cried over the relief that washed over them. "Do...Don't worry... it'll be o-okay."

He ignored how familiar the voice was, how familiar the words were. He'd grown used to finding something that wasn't there in the curses he had collected. The fact that the ones he barely manifested were the ones that sounded like you the most.

Suguru turned around to the villagers and smiled. One that he hadn't managed to conjure up in some time.

"Let's step outside for a moment, shall we?"

The two followed him out and Suguru wasn't sure what words he said, what movement he made, but he could see the horror in their eyes. As he manifested his beloved curses, the one people like them had created, he felt an anger bubble up. Emotions that he had desperately pushed aside in an attempt to continue his life were now running their way to the forefront of his mind.

The grief of losing you. The anger of the complete disregard of you life by the society as a whole. The fact that there was nothing left of you now. Nothing—

"Suguru, do you hate them?"

His body stiffened. His wide eyes dragged from the horrified, begging people before him, to over his shoulder. The shadow that loomed over him now.

He'd read about this before. It was some obscure book he found while researching previous curse manipulators. It talked about various things that he used to prove to Yaga that he was learning something. One section had piqued his interest, but it was never information that he'd use in random day-to-day. Vengeful spirits. Usually, this only happened after sorcerers die without jujutsu being used against them. Their very soul and spirit is corrupted and transformed into something horrible. Something darker than who they truly were in life.

As Suguru stared at the spirit before him now, he knew what he had inadvertently done to you. The way your large body curled around him, wisps of what should be hair floating above you, your body clad in an open and flowing kimono. What caught his eyes the most, were your own eyes. Despite being almost invisible, he was relived. They were not blank. Instead, they looked like they burned with the rage he had held back for years.

It was as if you were the extension of his very soul.

"It should be noted that if you find yourself attached to a vengeful spirit: You must establish a clear master/servant bond. As the spirit is attached to your own soul, they musn't be allowed to overcome you. If exorcism is not an option, then create a clear set of rules. Summon them only when necessary. Vengeful spirits are not to be taken lightly."

"Suguru, do you hate them?" Your eyes did not leave his.

This time, he didn't hesitate nor lie. "Yes."

He heard them whimper in fear.

You moved unnaturally, but he didn't care. "Do you want them to die, Suguru?"

His eyes narrowed. "Yes."

Your hand rested on his shoulder and he didnt even care if your talon like nails dug into his flesh. He watched, awestruck, as you turned your feral gaze onto the cowering villagers. "Can I hurt them for you, Suguru?"

Despite your state, despite what it meant for him, he couldn't help but feel the warmth blossom through his chest. He basked in the feeling of your brushed against his shoulder.

"Yes."

An unnatural smile creeped over your face and your shot forward, now clutching your katana.

All Suguru could think was: you're back.

"Suguru....what have you done?"

Geto adjusted his gojogesa with a emotionless mask over his face. The bags that had adorned his eyes for the past year were mostly gone. He was finally able to eat. His mind wasn't constantly ringing with that thunderous applause or the thud of your body. Instead, he was free. There was silence.

Except whenever you spoke.

"Where did you get that energy? Suguru, answer me!"

He had seen Gojo a week ago. He had said his goodbyes, vaguely masked as threat. Geto knew what they were now. Enemies by default. He knew it couldn't be long before the higher-ups found out about the village— known exactly what he'd become that night. He was a curse user.

God, was that a great feeling.

Geto was giddy that night. He couldn't help the giddiness he felt with his freedom. The happiness he felt as he held Nanako and Mimiko in his arms, trekking through the woods to the main street where he dragged them to his parent's house. That whole situation had been something in itself. Their anger, their confusion, the heartbreak for not understanding their son anymore.

Geto had simply taken what he needed for the twins, then left you to take care of his parents.

"You feel it, don't you, Gojo? You see them."

There was an assortment of things that Geto found himself doing after he defected. He suddenly found himself in the place of taking care of two twin girls that clung to his clothes and followed his every word like he was the Buddha guiding them towards enlightenment. There big eyes screamed the thank you's that he did not need or would accept. Still, he could tell that they were trying to prove that they were useful to him. Whatever that meant coming from a pair of 6 year olds.

The second thing he'd started was taking over the Star Plasma Religious Group. Although he heard they had disbanded a year prior, it appeared that they were just absorbed by another money hungry fool scamming them for every last cent they had. Not that he was about to go bad mouthing other people's methods for something he was about to do himself. It was surprisingly easy to take over a religious group when you had a vengeful spirit hanging off of you. The men, although easy to get on his side, he still killed. There was no point to their existence now. Not when he had his own plans outside from worshipping the likes of Tengen.

The last thing he was taking care of was you.

"....What did you do?"

"Nothing. I did nothing. They're was always with me."

Geto's adventure back into the books covering vengeful spirits was actually welcomed this time around. As a younger student, he hadn't really cared to think about what would happen to him if he happened to die in a terribly normal way. But now it was something he regarded with the utmost fascination. The different descriptions of vengeful spirits made him ponder exactly what you were.

Violent and seeking revenge. Sad and lost. Unaware they're dead and seeking guidance. Plague that spreads death, leeching off certain hosts. Clingy, they seek approval from the attached for their actions. These spirits had a connection with the host in their life and feel something unfinished in their death.

He could remember the look in Gojo's eyes as his eyes strained to look over Geto's shoulder. The fear and the realization that washed over him. The anger in his eyes as he seemed to grieve over not only Suguru, but you as well. The waver in his voice as he asked Geto what he had done. It almost made Geto feel bad.

Almost.

Gojo had his life laid out for himself. The higher-ups knew what they could do with him. He was practically bred and born for his role amongst everything. He'd live and die the jujutsu society. Something that always unsettled Suguru, but something Geto accepted. He came second. Last compared to jujutsu.

At least he had you. It was you and him first. Then Gojo. He could make this work again. He wouldn't let anything happen to you again.

Geto shifted his attention elsewhere as he flattened his robes.

God, he really did look the part now, didn't he? Except, maybe, the hair. But he wasn't doing anything about it.

"This place is still a religious group to the public, are you okay with that?" Asked one of the nameless faces that Geto would encounter in his life.

He over looked the stage before him with a flat expression. "As long as I can collect curses and money, that's all right." He reassured.

The man frowned, looking at Geto with some vague confusion. "Are you really going out there like that?"

He let a grin spread across his lips. "Why not? Bluffing and looking the part is important."

"Master Geto..."

He spared the twins a soft glance, a reassuring smile gracing his features. He reached down and ruffled their hair gently. "Be sure to watch closely." He whispered to them, watching with a warmth in his heart as they smiled and giggled at one another. "Have they gathered?"

"Directors, representatives. The chairman. And a lot more money waiting."

Geto grinned, taking the microphone from the man, and making his way out onto the stage.

The last time he'd been in the building they were giving a thunderous applause for Riko's death and, by extension, yours. He had been waiting a year to see them all again. To look them in the eyes and find a proper way to make them suffer. To make them feel the same fear or suffering that you and Riko had in your last moments.

"Can everyone hear me? Thank you for waiting, I'll keep this short." He announced as he came to a stop before them all. Nameless faces, judgmental side eyes, questionable whispers to one another. They did not remember Suguru. But he would make sure they remembered Geto. "As of this moment, this group is mine. We'll have a new name as well. You all will obey me."

Instantly, there was a scattered rise of opposition in the crowd.

Geto's grin faltered as he listened to the various questions of exactly who was he made their way to him. He could hear the anger and the confusion. His frustration heightened.

"Well, isn't that a shame." He dragged a hand over his face, eyes grazing the crowd before he grinned one more. He tried to look as inviting as he could, waving a hand at one man in particular. "Mister Sonoda! Could you please come up to the stage? Yes, that's right, you!"

As the older man stood from his seat and hobbled his way up, Geto narrowed his eyes. Despite his smile, his eyes couldn't hide the contempt and the hatred he had for the man before him. He could see that he noticed in the way he faltered on the steps. But pushed through and stood by Geto's eyes.

He made eye contact with Sonoda, then— "Y/N."

He found it easy to summon you. To watch you tear away at the man who had so brazenly ordered Riko's death. To listen to the garbled expressions of hatred you exclaimed as you tore his enemies limb-by-limb. It felt like it was some form a justice. To finally see the horror in their eyes, the blankness of it all. Bittersweet for him to watch.

However, he couldn't stand there and watch you in awe forever. He had people to take under his control.

Geto turned his attention back to the crowd. Satisfaction grew in his chest as he saw the horror and shock fall over their faces. Easily, Geto threw the microphone away.

"Now then, let's try this again." He scowled at the crowd, feeling you loom over his shoulder once again. He used his thumb to brush away some of the blood. "Obey me, monkeys."

III. 2015

"Are you mad at me, Suguru?"

Things had been going smoothly for Geto in the past eight years.

The cult, because that's what he considered it, was running finely. Those who owed money, gave it to him, or else. Those who followed, followed with loyalty, or else. Those who served no purpose, were dealt with. He had created a normal amongst the congregation. A standard that he himself had wanted to watch them scramble to keep. A constant state of panic or devotion for them that fed into his, honestly, growing ego.

Things like his family kept him rather humble.

The girls had grown accustomed to their lives with Geto. They seemed to thrive and love under his care. All of them had grown to a routine that they cherished with one another. They even seemed accustomed to you. The fear and confusion of others wasn't found in their eyes or hearts. Geto never properly explained what happened after death if certain things didn't take place, but they understood anyone. They knew you were important to him— by extension making you important to them.

The other members of the family— Laure, Miguel, Manami, Toshihisa— had a vague understanding of exactly what a vengeful spirit entailed. Although, they weren't jumping at the opportunity to really talk about it. Laure had attempted once, but the conversation died out quickly due to the look on Geto's face. The man was quick to drop the topic once he saw the expression painting the leader's face. Allegedly, he looked ready to kill.

Earlier that day, though, Miguel was braver. And Geto was in a far clearer mood.

"How did it happen?" The man's deep voice asked gently from where he sat across from Geto. Once the confusion set in of his sudden question, he raised an eyebrow at the apparent shadow rested behind his chair. "How did they get cursed?"

Geto himself had thought about it for years. He wondered what point you had been damned blessed to be attached to his soul even after death. It took him a long time. In the mix of things, death and decay, the sharp turn of his ideals— he had barely any time to really think about what made you this spirit clinging onto his life.

Some books said that it could be the connection shared by the host and spirit before death. Others said that hosts had the ability to curse the spirit themselves. That their desperation and their inability to let go was the true reason that sorcerers would live on as something horrible. Something completely opposite as to who they were in life.

He had pushed the thoughts away before they could ever really come to fruition. The possibility that he had been the one to create you into this. The thought alone was enough to twist his stomach. So instead he ignored it. He lived in blissful ignorance.

"Just happens sometimes after death." Geto answered flatly, turning his attention back to his book. He knew there was curiosity amongst his family to know things about you. Afterall, you were considered a part of the family, but there was simply no room to have conversation with you. You either grew hostile or confused and sought Geto out for answers. "Sorcerers whenever they're killed by a non-curse way or something another.

"Hm," Miguel's hum had remained unconvinced as his eyes trailed back to you. As your fingers hovered over the corner of the seat, but you didn't peek out. "There was a couple in my village back home. They were considered the ideal relationship at the time— I was a kid and thought so too. They were kind people. I always enjoyed getting special treatment from the wife, she was like a mother. She was one of the only other people I ever met in my home country that could see curses. Everything was good. But then her husband went and died from sickness. There was something different from the moment she died. She went a little crazy and one day she went and got real angry. Then— boom, there's her husband. But he was different. He was like yours."

Geto hadn't really known what to make of that rather non-sensical story at the time. He had just stared at Miguel before nodding slowly in return. "That's tragic." He wasn't interested in the possibilities.

"Nanako told me it was hard on you when they died." Miguel carried on as if he hadn't very visibly paused for Geto to speak his heart out. "Said that you said it was the reason you're the way you are now."

There was moments where Geto felt frustration with the twins. Their willingness to be so open with the family. Their ability to talk about their emotions so easily. The fact that they couldn't keep a secret for their lives.

The conversation about you had come up when the house was particularly restless and they were morbidly curious. They asked what you were like alive. What he was like as a kid. What the both of you were like in high school. How did you die.

He had looked off distantly and recalled the details— although he left out the gorey, unlikeable parts. He left in the parts where he was sad, that he had a hard time. He explained it in a way that kids like them could understand and use later to make sure they didn't end up the same way. Isolated and full of hatred.

Then, he made the mistake of mentioning Gojo. Their questions fell on deaf ears as he wished them goodnight and tried to drown out the memories of his youth.

"Don't get on her case about it. She's was just curious what certain things meant." Miguel must've taken his silence as anger because he stared at Geto with pleasantly narrowed eyes. "Have you ever considered exactly what happened to them?"

The question wasn't hostile or had any nefarious undertones.

He might as well had threatened Geto though.

Your eyes were blank.

"Please get up."

Geto had quickly excused himself, claiming that he needed to head to bed. He didn't miss the disappointment in Miguel's eyes or the fact that he had tensed up as you drew closer. He didn't want to think about it. What had taken place before, during, and after your death. He didn't need the questions—

"Please get up."

Tonight he couldn't escape it.

Eight years worth of questions and mystery filled his mind. The things he didn't dare address or ponder upon.

Sitting against his headboard, staring blankly into the darkness, he knew exactly how things ended up like this.

Him, a pathetic boy, staring into your lifeless eyes— he had begged for you to be alive. He had laid there with tears in his eyes, a pain in his chest, and a wavering plead breaking from his lips. Before he had fallen unconscious, he reached out his hand.

He reached out his hand.

Your eyes were blank.

Geto knew that he had cursed you. That his pleads and desperately attempt at touching you one last time had somehow damned you. He didn't need to know how it worked. He just knew that it was his fault.

The disgust in Gojo's eyes, the heartbreak, the shock. It was all things Geto deserved. For he had robbed you of the eternal rest you deserved.

The tears collected in his eyes and, for the first time in eight years, he felt a heavy bought of regret press against his chest.

He's known you longer dead than you were alive. Two years of his life had ruled onto the next eight. He had let his grief blind him. He was desperate to not let you go. To keep up some illusion in his head that he would be able to keep you there. To not let you fade away.

Selfish. He'd never been selfish before your death.

"Suguru?"

Your voice, distorted and garbled, was not something that he wanted to hear in that moment. Whatever reason, you were beside the bed now, head rested against your arms. He barely spared you a glance as the tears spilled over.

Selfish. Here you were now. Some weird sense in you to come out and comfort him. He had done this to you. An eternity to comfort him.

Selfish.

"Suguru, are you angry?" You sounded concerned, an odd sound that it didn't seem to fit you now.

Geto clenched his jaw, flexing his fingers. "Only at myself." He uttered.

You inched forward on the bed, a heavy frown spread across your face. "Why are you angry at yourself?"

He finally dragged his eyes to you, lids heavy and face almost as lifeless as your own. "I cursed you." He said it quietly but it felt extremely loud in his empty room. He looked for any realization in your eyes, any type of anger directed at him, but there was nothing. You just stared in return. You should be enraged. "I cursed you. Don't you understand what that means?"

Still, you didn't look angry.

"You saved me—"

"No, no, I didn't." Geto interrupted, closing his eyes in mild irritation. "I didn't... save you. I cursed you. I-I cursed you to stay by my side as I kill. As I kill in your name, you should be angry, Y/N."

“But… they’ve hurt you.” You say it with such confusion and sincerity that it makes him sick.

It’s then that he realizes what this all meant.

If you were alive now, you would look at him with all the rage in the world. You would damn him. You would be disgusted. If you were alive you would probably try to get him to see it all differently. You would tell him that staying with Gojo would’ve been better than this isolation, than this constant feeling in his chest. You would’ve known better than him.

It was then that he realized that he still blamed you for a lot. He wasn’t sure if things would be the same if just Riko died. Or maybe if you all had lived. Would he still be drawn to the same fate only later? Sometimes he was hopeful that he would be the same. Other times he wished he didn’t. All of it led to one thing: his anger for you.

There were some nights he would stay up and think about what you would do in his position. You would forgive them, try to use death as a chance to grow. You were much kinder than him. Or maybe you would be driven insane. None of you had quite tasted death until that mission. You probably would’ve handled things much differently than him if you had seen where Haibara ended up.

Bitterly, Geto thought, you probably would’ve given up.

Your sadness was always prone to taking you down. To whisper those forbidden and nasty things to you until you just wanted to bleed. You admitted to him and Gojo once that you didn’t even think you would make it to high school once. It scared them both, but you always got back up.

Yeah, you wouldn’t handle the sadness.

With a clenched jaw, Geto reached out and held your face. “I made you into this. You only kill and feel that way because that’s how I feel. Doesn’t that make you angry? Don’t you hate me?” He so desperately wanted you to see it from his point of view. He wanted the logic of it all to hit your brain and for you to finally finish what Toji and Gojo couldn’t— properly kill him.

However, just as you were in life, you would never take his life.

“I don’t care about those things.” You uttered in that distorted voice, those eyes of yours filled with emotions that he couldn’t hand pick. “Have I done something to upset you, Suguru?”

"No." Geto answered without hesitation. He pinched his eyes closed and took a deep breath. "I just want you to understand what this is."

He could feel your nail ghost over his thigh. "I understand."

Geto didn't believe you did, but he didn't have the energy to fight you. Not anymore. A part of him would always long to have a good long argument with you. But now it felt different. It felt as if it were all fabricated.

You were too agreeable now.

Please don't die. Please don't leave me.

But he supposed this was his punishment now. For being so desperate.

He rested his hand on top of your head. "Thanks for listening, I guess."

He can deal with the guilt later.

IV. 2017

Geto Suguru knew this would happen.

At least, a part of him was aware that death with a very high likely once he looked Gojo Satoru in the eye and declared war. Maybe even before that as he overlooked the mess of blood and limbs Rika had left behind at the elementary.

Either way, Geto Suguru knew this would happen.

"Hey," You had spoke one day as the three of them lounge in the courtyard. You had your uniform jacket open and your hair loose from the headband you wore to keep it out of your face. A good memory if it weren't for your next question. "Is it good to live a dishonorable life and have a honorable death, or a honorable life with a dishonorable death?"

"Huh? Why would you ask that now?" Satoru had pouted.

You had shrugged. "I mean, Yaga-sensei says that to be a sorcerer we'll have to live with our regrets, but he never talks about honor."

Satoru, in true fashion, rolled his eyes at you before taking a large bite out of his sandwich. "Because it's a bunch of self righteous mumbo-jumbo." He had said through a mouth full.

"Whatever." Your eyes dragged to Suguru. Your face had blossomed into a soft smile. "What do you think, Suguru?"

Suguru had frowned, biting on his lower lip as he thought. "I think what we all consider honorable varies. At the end of the day, you'll have to look back on your life yourself and decide whether you lived it worth wild." As you and Satoru stared at him with raised eyebrows, he shyly shrugged. "Don't worry about how honorable or dishonorable you'll be to others— just live a life that'll make you happy."

While you stared at him with someone akin to awe, Satoru stared blankly at him before bowing. "Truly inspirational, Suguru-sama, please invoke more of your wisdom on us!"

You had defended Suguru fervently as Satoru crowed against your assault. Then, he had been unwavering in his beliefs.

Now, Geto Suguru, stumbling down the ally with a missing arm, knew that all was bullshit.

There was nothing honorable or dishonorable about death. It was all a matter how people viewed you at the time. No one would be truly satisfied with their death because there would be a long list of things they wished they had done or hadn't done in their life.

As Yaga had said, they would all die with regrets.

His plans to obtain Rika had been rooted from a place of pure selfishness. His need to find alternative needs that didn't include using you in the most indescribable and unforgiveable way. He knew, deep down, that if he had used you the way that he planed to use Rika's powers— he would never forgive himself.

He hadn't even wanted to use you against Okkotsu Yuta. But that kid was something else. Most definitely a protege of Gojo Satoru. He could recall the caught off guard look on Okkotsu's face once you appeared. The confusion and the shock that overtook him as you wrapped yourself around Geto Suguru. He had uttered something that made the man falter.

"You're like me?"

There were so many things something that could mean.

You're like me: you're cursed with a love by your side, permanently protecting you against things that you didn't think were dangerous.

You're like me: someone had died so close to you that couldn't quite detach themselves from your soul.

You're like me: you cursed another because you couldn't accept that death was final?

Yes, Geto Suguru bitterly thought as his drive to kill Okkotsu grew. I did.

Now, Geto Suguru couldn't even feel you brewing with his soul. He didn't even think there'd be a difference if you ever left him. But there was this odd sense of loneliness deep within him that made him sick (definitely had nothing to do with the intense blood loss). His stomach churned as his mind silently cried out for you.

Was this true death? Nothing left to hold onto, just the memories and emptiness?

You're like me: you can't live without them.

Geto Suguru fell against the wall of the alley with a bitter scoff. Of course he couldn't. No matter how much he tried to convince himself, he spent the last 10 years attach his very life and soul around you. Tried to act like a big boy whenever he was asked what he would do if he was freed from this curse.

He didn't even get to say goodbye.

Your eyes were blank.

"You finally made it," Geto Suguru snorted as he shifted his eyes over to the looming figure feet from him. "Satoru."

There was something so jarring seeing him now.

Compared to when he arrived a month prior, Gojo Satoru lacked those bandages around his eyes. Those blinding and once comforting pair of sky blues were staring into his very soul blankly. Did he realize that he wasn't coming to say goodbye to you? To free you from a monster like Geto Suguru? That he had actually used you in a last ditch effort to obtain Rika?

He was sure he was aware now.

"You'll be the one to take me down, huh?" He kept a hold on his shoulder as he dragged his eyes away from Gojo Satoru to avoid the unbearable guilt that overcame him. Years of regret and what if's overtaking his mind. "How's my family?"

As long as Nanako and Mimiko were safe, he could die without regret.

"They all got away. Kyoto was your doing too, wasn't it?" Gojo Satoru's voice was as telling as it was 10 years ago. As saddened and angered as the day he had walked away from it all.

"Yeah, unlike you, I'm a kind person. You sent those two here knowing I'd defeat them.... just so you could trigger Okkotsu's growth." He had been thinking about it since the moment Okkotsu's eyes had darkened. The unbearable grief that took over the boy as he eyed his unmoving and bloody friends.

Your eyes were blank.

"It's called trust. People with beliefs like yours wouldn't kill a young sorcerer without reason."

Geto Suguru laughed. "Trust, huh?" He couldn't help the amusement flow through him. After all these years... "I didn't realize you still felt any connection with me."

His counterpart responded with a scoff. "Suguru." It was said with the weight of a thousand lonely days— as if Satoru had thought the same. As if nothing had changed. The man clenched his jaw, ducking his eyes from view as he spoke once again: "Any last words?"

Geto Suguru drew in a heavy breath, things were really getting hazy now— almost feather light. "No matter what, I'll always hate those monkeys." His words were said with the disdain and hatred of the past ten years. Then he thought about where he was 10 years ago. The grief and the isolation that overtook him. He grew quiet. "But it's not like I hate everyone at Jujutsu High. It's just that in this world... I couldn't wear a heartfelt smile."

Satoru stood there in silence. Seeming to take in the words carefully.

"Anything else?" He uttered.

Suguru frowned, ducking his head. There was one thing he had been thinking about for the past two years that grappled him in the most unnerving ways. "Do you think they'll forgive me?" His question was soft and barely there— he was barely there himself anyway.

Satoru scoffed, except it sounded more fond than before. "They were always too forgiving of us. If you're worried about your purgatory being apologizing to them for eternity, then you're fine— it'd be too easy anyway." He joked softly, except his blank expression didn't quite add to the comfort or joke of it all.

I'd spend the rest of time apologizing. Suguru fought the urge to say.

"I figured."

"Suguru," Satoru took attentive steps forward, crouching down to his level. Their eyes met and there was something almost tangiable in that gaze of his. "I love you. I forgive you."

Suguru couldn't help the shock that flushed over his body. As the pain seemed to leave him completely, he used the last bits of his strength to show Satoru a true smile. The only one he could really conjure.

"You could at least curse me at the end."

As Satoru stared at him, as Yuta Okkotsu celebrated with his friends the victory and their safety, and as Suguru took his last breaths, his eyes trailed over Satoru's shoulder.

You stared back with a kind smile. Looking more alive than you had in the past ten years, you wore the clothes you had the day you died, your normal boring uniform. Suguru hated to admit he missed seeing those terrible uniforms.

"Suguru."

#✩࿐ t writes #♡ oneshot #jjk fic #jjk #jjk x reader #geto suguru x reader #geto suguru angst #jujutsu kaisen x reader #suguru geto x reader #suguru geto #geto suguru #gojo satoru x reader #jjk spoilers #geto suguru x curse!reader

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neo-percs · 7 months

Text

DEEP END:: ( park Sunghoon )

WARNING:: 80's au, summer fling, high school au, skinny dipping, rich boy! Sunghoon, smut, harsh language, descriptions of drowning and passing out, smoking (weed & cigarettes ) Angst, misunderstood situation, mutual pining, fluff, insults & accusations, mentions of vomiting, terrible parenting, trespassing, oral! (f&m receiving ), riding, handjob, masterbation (m) virgin! Sunghoon, poor! Reader, experienced! Reader, pool sex, y/n teaches sunghoon

SUMMARY:: after saving Sunghoon from drowning at the local pool; y/n offers to give him swimming lessons which leads into way more than expected.

WORD COUNT:: 36.6K

A/N:: this is a repost from my old account, the longest fic I’ve ever written and I refuse to make a part 2 since this took me half a year to write.

You were broke, while most girls at the ripe age of 19 would be living it up on the beach with booze they stole from their parents liquor cabinet; you were stuck on lifeguard patrol in the slums of the south side right next to an old run down diner scraping 5 dollars an hour for 5 days a week.

While girls your age could bat their lashes and easily get 100 bucks out of their fathers; you could barely be trusted with a sticky nickel and a paper clip. It's not that you hated the job, you just disliked the reason you had to work there.

The community pool is for mothers who are freshly divorced preying on boys who just graduated or even other womens husbands, snot nosed kids wanting a sense of freedom, and teenagers who just show up and stare down someone else they find attractive.

You only sigh and continue to look around the pool area. Your eyes catch a familiar face, Choi Yeonjun. He had already graduated and yet he was staying back with his friends for the summer before he's off to another semester of college in the fall, and boy was he a sight to see. Shirtless, hair wet and covering his forehead as his smirk tugged his lips as he watched his friend dunking each other's heads under water.

Lucky enough for you; your sunglasses shielded your eyes as you practically drool over the older boy, and it wasn't until you heard loud obnoxious laughs coming from a group of boys as they moved in a pack all near the edge of the pool. As they near the deep end.

As many of them rough house and find their way into the warm water of the pool one boy sat at the ledge only letting his feet dip into the water. Kicking his feet splashing the clear water as his eyes focus on the tiled flooring on the pool that reached almost 20 feet.

Sunghoon's heart pounded in his throat as he looked at the bottomless pit that was the community pool. And although Sunghoon lived nowhere near this part of town he still came with his friends because they rough house too much to go to the country club pool that his family liked to bring him and his sister to every year.

This year there were a few new additions to the group; Jake Sim had just moved into town from Australia, and Yang Jungwon and Nishimura Riki had been introduced to the group sometime last school year. Sunghoon had seemed to adjust to the new additions yet he guesses that they don't know much about his summer secret.

"Get in the pool Hoon, it's fucking hot" Jake says with a bright smile to his friend only to be brushed off with a shake of his head "I'm good, I think I just wanna chill here for a bit" he reasoned. Sunghoon hated to admit he can't swim, and if anybody hasn't noticed he has a big ego and it would in fact bruise said ego to admit he can't do something a toddler can do.

It was very embarrassing, Sunghoon has met plenty of cute girls at the community pool but immediately when being offered to swim with them he has to turn them down, his ego is too bruised already from knowing he can't swim but telling his friends that he can't seriously kicked him down a few pegs.

"Don't be lame Sunghoon it's only a little water" Jay teases as he splashed the brunette with the water in his face making Sunghoon's nose scrunch in distaste. Without the realization that Riki had been plotting. "Whatever I'm just gonna sit over on one of those chairs," he says as he lets his feet pull out of the water leaving wet prints on the concrete in his wake.

As soon as he stood at his pull height a pair of large hands were felt on his back. "Just swim with us for a bit Hoon, the water won't hurt you," Niki says as he pushes Sunghoon's back gently. Making Sunghoon's heart leap immediately "I'm good, I just don't feel like swimming," he says nervously as he stumbles over his words. "Come on, I wanted to play chicken" Ni-ki whines as he repeatedly presses into Sunghoon's pale freckled back.

But soon the small pushes turn into shoves and Sunghoon can feel his feet on the ledge coming closer and closer to slipping on the soaked slippery cement. Anxiety crept into the front of his mind as his friends watched with smirks and smiles while they tease him. His own personal torment, he felt like everything around him was becoming muffled watching as all his friends float at the surface while the cool water splashed around.

"Really Riki I think I'll sit this out" he stutters as feels the shoves are becoming too much and hopes that his younger friend will just ease up. But to his dismay, Riki is determined to get his friend in the water. Sunghoon could feel his heel on the edge and his breathing was becoming more and more ragged he let out a yelp, twisting on his foot Riki's push mid-turn left Sunghoon free-falling into the air as the sound of friends cheering reached his ears.

Panic. Sunghoon could feel the cold water engulf him as he sinks deeper into the water. Flailing his arms in hopes air could fill his lungs and his body would feel the heat of the sun again. But to no avail, he sinks further and further until he touches the bottom of the pool. Holding his breath until his throat burned his eyes seeing the bottom half of other people swimming.

For what felt like minutes Sunghoon let a scream die in his throat while water filled his lungs, his vision blurred and darkening with every passing second as his hair clouds his vision he lets exhaustion take over his person. His fight to keep conscious is a weak one, and the bubbles slipping past his lips reach the surface of the pool.

His friends all stare with wide and worried eyes as they realize that Sunghoon wasn't coming back up, the bubbles coming from the bottom of the pool in the same spot he had fallen in signifying that. "Alright Sunghoon, you can come up now. You don't have to hold your breath to scare us" Jake says with a worried tone. Anxiety creeps up on his friends as they all refuse to believe that their friend intends to put fear into them.

But the eldest of the group had taken extra precautions. Sinking his head underneath the water letting the chemicals burn his eyes, the blurred sight of his younger friend at the bottom of the pool where nobody could reach with a limp body. Panic takes over him as he comes up catching his breath "he's at the bottom passed out, wave down the lifeguard" Heeseung says in a rush as he dunks his head once more to see if Sunghoon would move. Yet to no avail he had sat in the same slumped position as his hair messily covers his face.

The distant sound of his friends yelling for the lifeguard had Heeseung pulling his head away from chemically induced water as he shouts "he's over here at the bottom" he sees you, pulling your keychain and glasses off your eyes are frantic as you make eye contact with the wide Bambi eyes of Heeseung who's guiding you over to his passed out friend.

And without little hesitation you dive in head first with wide eyes, looking at the very bottom of the pool you see him. The brunette boy with messy hair passed out against the very bottom of the pool. As you near him you lift his arm over your shoulder and push your legs against the floor helping you both float back to the surface as you use the rest of your willpower to kick your feet until your both above water.

Swimming past everyone in your way you see two people at the edge of the pool reaching to help you pull him out. "How long was he under there for?" You asked as you pulled yourself out of the pool seeing as they lay him down on his back. "2 or 3 minutes" one of them answers you as you push his hair out of his face and press your fingers against the space between his jaw for a pulse.

It was barely there but he wasn't breathing without another word; you tilt his head back and center your hands on his chest preparing him for CPR. Pressing into his chest repeatedly as you trained, fingers pinch his nose as your other hand holds his chin leaving his mouth to open you press your lips to his cold ones blowing air into his lungs as his chest weakly rises and falls.

Doing it a few more times and as you were about to press your lips to his once again a loud fit of coughing could be heard making everyone sigh in relief at the sight of the boy leaning over onto his side coughing up water as you held a hand over your fast-beating heart. Patting his back as he coughs up pool water you look up at his friends. "He'll be fine, he just needs to rest. '' You stand up, grabbing the towel his friend held out to you and wrapping it around Sunghoon's shoulders who had been shivering.

"I'll call a medic out to check on him, just sit him down in a chair" you look back down at the boy who had seemingly gained the attention of almost everyone at the pool. And as you walk away to the small staff building you hear the boy mumble "how long was I out?" And you almost crack a grin.

Sunghoon felt embarrassed. Not only did people refuse to go back in the pool for at least 30 minutes because of him but when he was getting checked by the medic you stood there the whole time watching his flushed face as they ask him stupid questions he could barely comprehend. And after deeming that Park Sunghoon had not suffered any real damages other than a bruised ego he told his friends to go back to swimming while he sat down.

You had been given a break and you chose to grab a popsicle and approach the boy you had single-handedly saved. Sitting down in one of the harsh pleather beach chairs "so... you feeling any better?" You ask as you take a bite out of the sweet blueberry-flavored ice. "yeah, just embarrassed I guess. Now everyone knows... I can't swim" he trails off his words as he feels his face heat up with embarrassment.

"It's okay to not know how to swim you know?" You say trying to make the boy feel a tinge better. "Yeah right," he scoffed "You know how to swim, and if it wasn't for you I'd probably be in an ambulance on the way to the hospital while some old man gives me mouth to mouth," he says giving a dry chuckle. You couldn't help but laugh at his words.

"I'll tell you what. I can teach you how to swim. I give lessons to kids during the weekends" you say with a small smile as you think about the young kids who you always have a giggle with every Saturday morning as they all ask you to watch whatever stunts they pull.

"I didn't know you taught teenagers," he says looking at you as you bite off another chunk of your popsicle. You shake your head "I don't, but I could make an exception and teach you when the pool closes since I lock up and everyone else leaves" you said. You had only offered because you truly felt bad.

"I don't know... couldn't you get in trouble for that?" He asks wearily, really Sunghoon was just afraid to learn how on the off chance he ends up drowning, again. "Not if we don't get caught... I have the keys so just show up tomorrow a little after 8 the gate will be closed but not locked. I'll be waiting" you say as you get up from the seat walking into the small building reserved for employees only.

"I never agreed....to that" he trailed off as he was now talking to himself. Squinting as he sees his friends happily swimming and splashing each other, while the teen girls and pretty moms dressed in color-coated bathing suits tan in the raging sun that was practically blinding.

——

Although Sunghoon never agreed to swim classes, he sure did wait in the parking lot of the community pool waiting 15 minutes past 8. Sitting in his car contemplating if he seriously should be doing this. Of course, the only cons were that: he doesn't learn how to swim and possibly drown again, or that he could be caught sneaking in by security.

The pros outweighed the cons so he opened his car door, locked it, and walked past the closed gate of the community pool being met with your back facing him as your feet were in the cool water. The clanking of the entrance closing makes you turn your head.

Sunghoon stood awkwardly watching as you look at him "you were sitting in your car for so long I thought you'd never come in here" you laugh shaking your head. "Well can't a guy be cautious? I mean I'm not exactly ecstatic to get back in a pool the day after I drowned" he said monotonously which makes you laugh.

"Well aren't we here to fix that now? I was just gonna do the floaty method until you were ready to try and swim on your own" you shrug. "The floaty method?" He asks curiously as he walks closer and sits on the edge beside you and looks at the reflection of the soft light coming off the pool.

"Yeah. It's when you lay on top of a floaty and you paddle around until you get the hang of swimming. That's how I learned as a kid" you smile as you look over at him seeing the soft blue hues from the water on his skin. "That doesn't seem too hard," he says content with the likes of how you decided to reach him.

And with that the both of you shed out your clothes and dressed in your bathing suits, you grabbed a spare floaty and handed it off to Sunghoon who looked exasperated "why'd you give me a pink sparkly one?!" He whined "because it was the first one I found," you say defensively. "And you didn't think I'd want one that's like uh I don't know not pink?" He says.

"I'm sorry princess I'll be more considerate next time, but right now I'm not worried about the stupid color of your floaty. Just get in the pool and lay on the damn thing" you tease him as he tosses his head back groaning and mumbling snarky comments under his breath.

Watching as the boy tosses the glittery floaty into the pool he uses the steps to get in slowly as he whines at the cold water. "You need to stop whining about everything," you say making sunghoon roll his eyes.

"For someone who doesn't know my name you sure do find yourself being comfortable telling me what to do," he says spitefully which makes you purse your lips in the realization that neither of you had introduced yourselves. "And for someone trying to blame me you didn't even ask my name to begin with," you said rolling your eyes.

"You can't be criticizing me when you haven't told me yours either?!" He bickers which makes you groan. "Y/n, but I asked you first and you couldn't use common courtesy to introduce yourself?" you ask with a faux offended tone. "Are you trying to peer pressure me into feeling bad?" He asks dodging your question.

"Just tell me your name or by the time you get in the water, the sun will be down" you sigh as you point to the pool. "Sunghoon, I mean I already knew your name because your one of the cool lifeguards" he nods "really? I just sit down and blow a whistle for like three hours" you explain with a small chuckle. "Yeah, but half of the time you let us get away with anything" he laughs as thinks of the time you were on duty and watched them play a full match of chicken and never once told them to stop.

"Let's just- start the lesson before the sun goes down completely" you mumbled as you felt heat on your cheeks and neck at his comments. "Lay your stomach flat on the floaty hold both of your arms out fully and paddle like you've seen your friends do at the pool." You say watching as he slowly inches into the warm water. "What if I fall off?" He asks he was too anxious to find out, he hoped, and prayed that he didn't have to relive the nightmare of drowning again.

"You won't. And this is the shallow end. So if you fall of just stand up on your own two feet and you'll be okay" you say in an attempt to comfort him. "I'll be in the pool watching you the whole time. So if you do end up drowning, I'll be there okay?" You say raising your brows at him with soft eyes almost instantly making him melt. He nods as he was now waist deep into the water, the waters blue reflection on his skin as he settles onto the small donut shaped floaty.

Stepping into the water yourself you stand near the edge of the pool feeling the small slippery tiles on your skin as the sound of the filter hums in the background of soft splashing and squelching of wet skin against the plastic toy sticking to Sunghoon's skin. "Like this?" He asks as you see his arms get lost inside the water soaking under the burnt yellow and orange hues of the sun.

And you don't know why it had taken you from when you saved him up until now that he was kind of attractive. The way his brown hair stuck to his forehead, or how buff he looked, maybe it was the freckles and moles that littered his back along with his muscles that flex every time he tried to adjust himself comfortably.

Blinking away your small daze you nod "yeah, now just kick your feet and paddle with your hands at the same time" you say watching as you watch the chlorine filled water ripple over his skin as he by memory mocks what he'd seen often at the pool. It was not really good to say the least.

"You need to stable your kicks or else your gonna sink, that floaty won't be able to hold you up forever" you scold him slightly watching as he fails to move very far with his lack of support that he legs are providing. "It's hard to move your feet and hands at the same time" he whines. "Well then you'll keep struggling if your body can't adjust" you said with a grin hearing him whine even louder.

You felt bad because he couldn't do much, so you caved. You caved and you pulled his floaty near the steps of the pool. You told him not to move his hands and hold onto the floaty while he kicked his feet. It was like the young kids you taught in the early morning, he was so excited when you let him go and he actually moved.

Not too far, he was dead serious about not going close to the deep end, he looked like his life flashed before his eyes when he saw how bigger the numbers got when paddled half way through the pool, he was so scared he asked you to pull him back to the shallow end.

You knew that you were gonna struggle with him.

——

And man we're you right. You decided that you would start teaching him 3 times a week and you were now on your 6th lesson. He ditched the floaty and was now asking you to help him hold his breath. The both of you had gotten so comfortable with each other that you would sometimes even dry off at the edge of the pool eating popsicles and talk for 30 minutes before deciding it was getting too late.

Now being one of those times. It had been a few minutes after the both of you had decided that the lesson was over, you had opened up the staff only building and took out two Cherry popsicles from the freezer you and you coworkers had often put cold drinks and treats inside. You could hear the distant buzzing of street lights and the chirping of crickets.

As you settle on the now dried concrete you hand him the cold treat and stare off into the water with a question sitting on your tongue you had been waiting to ask for a while. "How come... your parents never offered to get you a swimming class?" You ask just above a whisper hoping not to ruin the peacefulness around you.

He only shrugged "my parents don't care about that stuff. While everybody else was learning how to swim at seven, I was attending business meetings with my parents" he mumbled in realization that he never got to have fun much when he was younger. "Ouch" you say flatly. "Yeah, and it wasn't like I had any friends to swim with anyways. My parents called them 'distractions from my own success' but when I got older they didn't care as much. No more business meetings, and at one point I think my dad tried to pimp me out to his friends daughters so he could get in a good word" he laughed.

"So your living it up now that they aren't breathing down your neck?" You ask in speculation "I mean if that's what you would call it. My mom still flaunts me off to her girlfriends about how smart I am, so I just do everything I can to make her happy" he mumbles slightly embarrassed about how he just opened up to you about family.

"Mama's boy" you giggle which makes him scoff as he gently shoved your shoulder "what about you and you're family?" He asks as he watches your giggles die out in your throat. "I mean we aren't the most wealthy on the block, and we damn sure aren't any country club members. But I guess we get by just fine" you shrug "you got any siblings?" He asks in hopes that lightens the mood "no but I wish I did" you say with a feint smile.

"You don't. Trust me, if you had to wait an hour for your sister to get out of the shower I bet you'd be telling anyone who's an only child to not even ask your parent for another kid" he laughs as he's reminded of his little sister and him bickering early mornings when the other has places to be. "Really?" You laugh "it's a nightmare" he groaned.

The both of you begin to revel in the short silence between the both of you until you heard footsteps and a clicking of what you assumed what a flashlight making you gasp "oh shit" you wince as you stand up off the concrete floor. "What?" Sunghoon asked in a loud whisper "security, we gotta run or else we could get arrested and I could lose my job" you wince as the both of you look for the closet way out due to the security guard standing at the entrance.

As you see the light from his flashlight you lock eyes as you point to the fence. "We either jump that, or hope he's not in good shape" you say as you watch the guard turn the corner. "Hey! It's after 8 o'clock you can't be here!" He shouted as he sees you and Sunghoon scramble to collect all of his things and dashing around the pool and into the frigid grass.

Only for the guard to run in the same direction trying to beat you to the fence. Throwing his bag and towel over you both begin to as the cold metal of the fence digs into your bare feet. "You little bastards! I don't get paid enough to deal with horny teens!" He shouts as he approaches the gate with an attempt to grab your ankle but to his dismay was kicked in the nose harshly feeling the wet grass that has stuck to the bottom of your foot now on his face.

You and Sunghoon shouting and laughing out of pure fear you wouldn't be able to get out of there without most likely getting arrested for trespassing. "You know you aren't getting paid enough for this" you laughed as you wiggled your leg out of his grasp, Sunghoon finally jumping down to the other side standing infront of you holding out his hands hoping you'd trust him to catch you.

"Hurry" he laughed watching you pull your leg over to the other side and without much thought let yourself jump into his arms, you ignore the slight burning in the bottom of your feet as you feel his hands around your waist tightly. "Do you have a car?" He asks as the both of you jog towards the parking lot.

"No, I walk to work" you say as you feel small pebbles stick to the bottom of your feet as you both lead yourselves towards the almost empty lot. "Why didn't you say so? I could've been giving you rides home after lessons" he said as he unzipped his bag to pull out his keys. Trying to find the right one he unlocks it.

His headlights beaming onto you giving the both making you wince at the sudden flash. "Well can you give me a ride now?" You ask as he begins to walk to his car "that was the plan in the first place. I'm not leaving you here" he says snidely "not every rich person is a douche you know?" he says mockingly which makes you feel a sudden heat flash of embarrassment on your skin at his sudden assumption which was correct.

You follow behind him almost awkwardly as if you two hadn't been spending the past few weeks sneaking back into the pool and teaching him how to swim. Approaching the door of his car barely seeing the cherry red paint of the handles of his car you pull it open. The scent matching its color; sickeningly sweet cherry candy and leather.

You sit in the white leather seats hoping the feeling of it wouldn't absolutely burn you alive from being under the sun in the parking lot all day. But to your suprise his seats were mildly warm, the both of you putting on your seatbelts and he put his keys into the ignition listening as wind blows through the small vents on his dashboard and his engine practically groans and vibrates your whole body. Smiling at you he could hear the feint voice of Janet Jackson playing he didn't mind too much.

"Which side of town is your house on?" He asks as he pulls out of his parking space slightly hoping the pudgy security guard won't try and push his luck trying to get extra cash if he gets his license plate. "The west side, just keep going up the street and take a left I'll show you the streets to turn down" you mumble in an attempt to hide your embarrassment from explaining that your from the run down side of town. "I know where it is, just point out the turn on the main road" he says trying to push the lump in his throat.

Sunghoon was nervous, he's only been to west side once before and it was to get onto the highway for a road trip with his friends, he's never actually made a stop, let alone had to leave alone on the more violent side of town. He didn't think there was anything wrong with the people who lived there like you for example; you were nice enough to teach him how to swim. He didn't know about everyone else though, he was born and raised in the suburbs coddled into believing that the safety of his neighborhood had everything he needed and he wouldn't dare set foot into a neighborhood lesser than that.

You didn't blame him for looking shaken up, most people assume that all people from the west side are thieves, druggies, gun slingers who don't have jobs or live off of paycheck after paycheck. It was just a reputation that had stuck and though you never fit the criteria you weren't one to let it affect the way you lived life, you would just hope that it doesn't change the way Sunghoon sees you after you've built yourself a good budding friendship with him.

But the look of nervousness was blinked away in an instant as he looks over at the glove compartment in front of your lap. "I have a few tapes in there if you like any of the songs I have" he says pointing at it, you nod fiddling with the handle until it slammed open which almost earns a yelp from you. Sunghoon laughs at your tiny struggle while he turns onto the basically empty road and leaving behind an empty parking lot.

As you dig through the cassettes you see a bunch of mixed music, some jazz, hip hop, even rock, you make a few impressed faces at his music which has his eyes flickering at the tapes then to your face which makes him scoff with a small grin on his lips "why are you making those faces? Is my music taste that bad?" He his eyes goes back to the road as he nears a stop sign easing on his breaks. "No I'm kind of impressed, I didn't take you for an AC/DC fan" you pick up one of his tapes flashing the cover of it written in black marker.

"You shook me all night long is my guilty pleasure" he mumbled with a shy shrug which earns him a small giggle from you. Pushing the tape inside the slot you hear it shuffling around before it starts to play which makes you smile and put the rest of the tapes that had fallen into your lap back inside the glove compartment. Sunghoon turning up the volume he starts to sing in a terrible accent that has you laughing.

"You're corny" you laugh as you both exchange looks while he sings along messily and shouting over his own speakers, it all felt nice in the moment. Loud music, smiling and laughing, the top down on his car and you could feel the wind whipping past your face it felt nice. Singing along while you both laugh as you zip through a silent neighborhood and onto a busy street with more cars.

The lights turning into orange blurs as you see the streets of the middle class disappear into more run down and abandoned buildings, smaller one story homes, house that looked to have been burnt down or worse. Sunghoon still managed to hold his smile as he could hear the soundtrack end, and when the two of you made it to the main road on the west side it was utter silence between you two.

"Tell me when to turn" he mumbled looking around at the houses with a curious gaze. "Turn at the next street" you answer him pointing to green sign that read 'church hill avenue' Sunghoon eases himself until he turns onto your street, he can see the obvious smile on your face at the familiar houses that you've always known. He slowly drives down the road making sure he doesn't miss your house.

"My house is the small yellow one at the end" you grumble at how you have to describe your poor living situation; small, cramped, it didn't look bad in the least if sunghoon was honest. He could see the small garden he assumed your mom has right beside your front porch that had a few plastic chairs and a table with a rusted metal lid as an ashtray. Sunghoon was unfamiliar with a neighborhood and it was very obvious from the way he pulled into your driveway instead of stopping at the curb.

Shutting his car off he gets out of the car and opens your door. He was treating you as if the both of you had just come back from a date, but regardless you took the hand he held out to you as he ushered you to the front door. You both stood on your porch awkwardly. "I hate to break it to you, but I don't think we can do lessons at the pool anymore" you say almost biting back a smile. "That's fine, I have a pool at my place you can teach me there if you want" he suggests which makes your eye almost twitch in annoyance.

"So you've had a pool this whole time?" You ask in disbelief "yeah" he says bluntly nodding along with his answer "and you didn't think to tell me that before I risked losing my job and sneaking you in?" You ask breathily almost laughing at how stupid the both of you had been. "Sorry?" He says almost as a question. "It's fine" you shake your head.

"Uh I can start picking you up after your shifts and you can give me lessons, how does that sound?" He asks which makes your brows furrow "pick me up?" You ask, you have no idea why he was going out of his way to come get you when he would have to drive all the way from the south to come get you, then east to his house and then to the west side just to drop you off.

"Well I'm not gonna make you walk, I already told you" he mumbled he felt a heat on his face regardless of the cold night air on his skin. "You don't have to do that Sunghoon really" you try to reason with him "I want to. You should really get inside though, it's kind of cold tonight" he said with a sickeningly sweet smile looking at you with soft eyes.

"Right, and thanks for the ride and stuff" you give a smile back stepping closer you lean in giving a small chaste kiss to his cheek "goodnight hoon" you whisper as you pull away opening your front door leaving a stunned sunghoon who was lifting his fingers to his warm cheek that had turned a deep shade of red as he could feel your sticky lipgloss on his cheek.

He watched as you disappeared behind your front door, when you close the door he could only mumble a goodbye before walking back to his car in a small daze too caught up in the little peck you delivered to his cheek. Starting his car he replays the same tape you both had been blasting and having the time of your life to on repeat with sickeningly sweet smile on his face driving back to his side of town.

——

When lessons at Sunghoon's house began it was almost awkward, running into his parents who seemed almost out of touch with kids your age and let alone their money getting to their head. How could you forget the third lesson in Sunghoon's pool and you were doing a lap, the feeling of cold water on your skin and the familiar scent of sunscreen and melting cherry popsicles that were sitting on the plastic wrappers.

You could hear the sound of the back door sliding open to which you only assumed was the lanky brunette boy coming back with whatever snacks he could find for you both. But you were completely and utterly wrong. It was his mother Mrs. Park, you could see where Sunghoon had gotten his looks from he was almost a carbon copy from the smile to the beauty marks that littered her face and neck, brunette hair just like her son, she looked to be in her early 40's or late 30's yet no wrinkles on her flawless skin.

You swim to the edge as she stood there "hello" she says politely to which only makes you smile and return the greeting "are you Sunghoon's girlfriend? I've never seen him bring a girl home before" the woman giggles as she looks down on you, almost as if she was judging your looks to see if you were fit for her son just based upon looks alone.

"I'm not. We met at the community pool where I work at" you smile at her but you watch as her smile almost fades "you work a job...on the North?" She asks sounding almost disgusted at the sound of it. You let your smile drop, your first impression of his mother seemed to not be going well already, though you weren't the type to judge someone based off first conversation yet the look on her face says it all.

"I do, but I live on the West, getting around is hard when your only ride is a bike while your money goes to tuition" you says letting out an awkward huff of a chuckle. "Right... what college are you applying for hon?" She asks tilting her head "most likely Duke or Brown. I'm still debating, my credits and GPA were high enough I just I'm struggling to choose" you say which makes her brows furrow. "Best advice, go to a community college; it saves your cash especially for someone who lives on the west side" she shrugs scrunching her face before turning on her heel and retreating towards the gate that leads directly to the driveway.

You clench your teeth at the comment watching the privileged woman walk away with her head held high. You didn't like people who looked down on you for social class, and you would think that because Sunghoon didn't treat you any less than because he figured out that you weren't living it up in the suburbs sipping on wine coolers and inviting boys over that his mom would be less than pretentious and not make comments.

But what could you expect from a rich woman with nerve and audacity. "Hey, you okay?" Sunghoon says trying to slip past the small crack in between the sliding door and the doorframe. He looked stuck but you could only giggle letting the moment with his mother past. "Yeah I'm good, what did you find in the pantry this time princess?" You laugh as you lift yourself on the warm concrete soaking it in the shape of your thighs and hands while water dripped all over the place.

"Nothin' much peaches, just stuff to make s'more on the stove and a pack of cherries from the fridge" he says holding up the plastics bags filled with different things wiggling them around teasingly. Peaches, he had been calling you that for a while now. After you kissed his cheek he could smell the peach lipgloss you had marked his cheek with.

"Before we even eat I want to try half of a lap around the pool. You can touch 10 feet for me right?" You ask mindlessly looking at the pool as the orange-ish hues from the sky bounce off the heavy chlorine filled pool. For you? Of course Sunghoon would do it for you. He doesn't know what's gotten into him since a week has passed and that kiss on the cheek had practically aligned the sun and moon for him. He was fuzzy in the head and anytime he thought about it he couldn't help but hold a hand to his heated cheek in the same spot.

"Hm? Hoon. You can do it right?" You ask once again breaking him from his thoughts immediately as he nods dumbly. "Yeah, no I can do it. I've been training for this" he says lying through his teeth. He was shitting himself, yes he did trust your lessons and he's been swimming without a floaty for half a week but he doesn't trust himself. Sunghoon has been so eager to impress you that even when you leave after lessons he sits in the pool for an extra hour or two to keep trying. He doesn't want to waste your time.

"I'll watch, I'm gonna be in the pool too. You don't have to be scared because I'll keep watch and if you want to quit midway I'll come get you" you say sweetly. Sunghoon softens completely, you were so nice for what? It didn't make sense to him; you and him were so different in so many ways, yet you go out of your way to do all these nice things for him while he can barely offer to drive you home after lessons without you putting up a fight.

You pull him by his forearm to the pool while he messily tosses down the bags of food into a lawn chair, guiding him over to the stairs only at five feet, the both of you walking in like it's a routine you have been doing for weeks now. The water feels warm now as it laps over your skin and darkening the red color of your swimsuit.

"You ready?" You ask looking over at the weary boy who seemed to be in deep thought staring blankly the water ahead, he thought of how it got deeper and even though he was attempting to achieve getting farther into the deep end 10 feet was nothing. "Mhm" he nodded as his eyes narrowed, he refused to let himself be embarrassed in front of you again and he wanted to prove he was making progress without a stupid floating toy holding him up.

"Just remember to come up for air if it starts to become too much" you mumble bringing your finger to your mouth anxiously biting at your nail that had chipped away polish on it. Sunghoon let himself walk deeper into the pool until he feel it was harder to reach with his feet. Sucking in a deep breath his eyes are screwed shut tightly, letting himself sink under the water.

He does exactly what you taught him, kicking his feet and basically scooping up water to push himself further to the 10 foot mark on the side of the pool. Not wanting to go any further his eyes burned from the chemicals, rushing to the top of the pool he paddles himself to the edge gripping the concrete with an iron grip he was anxious at how far he had gotten and was not ready to push his luck.

When his ears had finally popped he could hear you cheering him, you were smiling so wide that sunghoon couldn't help but smile back equal as happy maybe even more, hearing you laugh made his chest swell with pride. While he takes in deep ragged breaths and swims back over, his hair sticking to his face and his eyes red, and blurry. "I did it!" He says nearing you.

Pulling you into a hug the both of you are smiling, you can feel the warm water stick to your skin as well, not that you minded much, lifting your arms around his neck you bask in the hug feeling like a proud teacher who watched her kid get their first A+. But as your giggles and laughs grow quiet the both of you latch onto each other not wanting to waste the moment of being so close and basking in the sweet and sentimental achievement.

Sunghoon's hold on your waist tightens as he leans back to catch your gaze. He looked unreal, his eyes red, water dripping from his hair down his face, his lips puffy and stained from eating popsicles, and his skin was so warm pressed against yours. Your hand moving from his shoulder to the side of his neck, you could see the way his sharp eyes flicker from your lips back to your eyes.

Hesitantly he leans in, you do the same until your foreheads press together gently and you feel the bridge of your nose bump his your eyes fluttering shut anticipating the warmth of his lips on yours he leans closer, hesitation dripping all over him. You lean in as well, your stomach felt like you had been riding a roller coaster over and over again and the closer you moved together you could feel his warm breath on your lips which makes you feel like you're at the tipping point of the ride and you're about to hit the drop.

Your eyes flutter closed and you both pull together like two magnets as your lips catch each other's softness. You suck in a small breath through your nose as your lips move in a rhythm. Your hands find their way to the nape of his neck letting your fingers entangle in his brown hair .

His hand on your hip giving it a small squeeze, his tongue licks a small stripe against your bottom lip making your part your lips, you brush your tongue against his shyly feeling his warm wet tongue against yours. Letting out a small groan, Sunghoon backs you against the tiled wall of the pool lifting one of your legs over his hip. You could feel the bulge behind his shorts grow as it presses into your front.

"Do you wanna come inside? It's getting dark" he mumbled against your lips that were aching from all the hard pressure on your lips yet nodding as you were almost begging for more. You lift yourself onto the still wet concrete feeling the water drip down your legs as your swimsuit sticks to you like a second skin. You watch as Sunghoon pulls himself out and by the gods themselves had the blessed you with the sight.

You could see his muscles and veins protruding throughout his arms, his hair messily dripping wet and falling over his eyes, he looked absolutely delicious with his feint abs glistening with a small happy trail just below his navel. To say that the gods above took their time with Park Sunghoon was an understatement, because they put every attractive trait on that man and gave him a heartbeat.

When he's back to his feet you see a smile on his face as he holds his hand out to you, the excitement rushing through your veins hand your heart beating a mile a minute the wind blowing in your ears makes you shiver, watching him fumble with the sliding door awkwardly before slamming it open after using his fingers to pry it open eagerly by the crack. You could only giggle at how needy he was being as he pulled you inside, this time using the handle this time to shut it.

You've only been through Sunghoon's living room and kitchen, so when he guides you through the spacious halls as you blindly follow him just as eager and needy. When you finally stop in front of a door which you assume is his bedroom you think about how big the door is, how nice his upstairs is. Everything about the Park residence was expensive and gorgeous although it wasn't really the first thing on your mind at the moment.

Sunghoon opens the door to his bedroom, the curtains drowning out anything from the outside world that had nothing to do with him and you right now. Closing the door behind him he gently presses you against the door his lips colliding with yours once again, his hands pressed to your hips you both grind into each other letting the friction get you both worked up while you tug on his hair.

Rubbing your tongue over his the feint taste of cherry popsicles is just as apparent between the both of you. Titling your head to the side deepening the kiss you could feel his hands trail from your hips to the curve of your ass kneading the flesh harshly pulling you even closer if that was even possible.

Your skin sticky as the feint smell of sweat and chlorine became apparent, Sunghoon pulls you both away from the door not bothering to break from the hot and heavy kiss until you come to a stop, Sunghoon's legs hit the edge of the mattress he pulls away sitting down you could see it sink underneath him. His hands greedily pulls at the back of your thigh while his dark eyes look up at you "sit on my lap" he mumbled as he leaves small wet pecks of your stomach.

While you lazily attempt a nod your legs feel heavier than before you straddle his waist, your can feel through the skimpy bottoms of your bathing suit how hard he had become making you smirk. Before pulling him into a kiss much more needier than before, your teeth clashing and tongues tracing, spit falling onto your chins as you sloppily make out.

Your hips slowly start grinding against him earning a low groan, you smile into the kiss as his hands trace from your lower back to your thighs, rubbing gentle shapes into your skin. Slowly pulling back your teeth latch onto his swollen bottom lip making him gasp as his nails dig into the skin of your thighs most likely leaving crescent shaped indents.

Pulling away your lips latch onto his jaw leaving opened mouth kisses down his neck finding the perfect place to suck and bite on his skin, hissing at the feeling Sunghoon was throbbing through his shorts as your finger nails drag across his chest sending shivers down his spine. He didn't mind the feeling of your warm breath on his skin, or the way your hips drag against his, not even when he tilts his head back and he feels your tongue against his throat.

He was utterly intoxicated by the feeling, more than that. Sunghoon was needy, he needed more, but a thought had crept from the back of his mind— he lacks experience in bed, the farthest he had ever gotten is going down on a girl and vise versa, but it made him even more nervous that you wouldn't want to do anything because he is a virgin.

"Wait- wait" he mumbled as he pulls back gently "I've never had sex before" he whispers he looks down at his lap hoping that you wouldn't laugh at him or anything of the such for ever even being inside of someone before. He's 19 for crying out loud, and it makes his skin burn and mind race admitting that to you. Your presence made him vulnerable in ways he's never been with girls he's dated in the past.

Your eyes soften as you sat pressed against his chest "we don't have to do anything you don't want to do" you shake your head as you hoped he would meet your gaze, when his eyes flicker from his lap to your eyes he can see you genuinely mean every word spilling from your lips. "It's not that I don't want to do anything- because god I really want to, I just- I've never went as far as being in between someone's legs" he muttered gently.

Your hands trail up into his hair with a soft smile "if that's what you wanna do then- we can do that" you say nodding your head sternly. You were grateful for his honesty, most boys you've ever had a fair share of hook ups with have always lied about experience, the amount of fake orgasms you've had in your time was one too many in your opinion.

Smiling at your words Sunghoon nods and steals a peck on your lips, humming in satisfaction of your warm glossy lips pressed against his. Your breathing becomes heavier as you let out small choked moans practically be swallowed by Sunghoon; who was absolutely eager and needy he could barely let your lips separate for longer than a second.

"Can you sit on my face?" He whispers breathlessly against your lips, you can feel your legs quiver at the question as his fingers brush against the warm skin on your thighs letting out a shaky breath you nod as you pull yourself out of his lap. Pulling your swimsuit bottoms down and kicking them off your ankles you could barely look at the expression Sunghoon held on his face as your self consciousness had settled within bones.

Sunghoon's eyes met your bottom half, he could see the slick of your own arousal on your thighs and he couldn't wait to have his face between your them. But as his eyes meet your face he could see the worried look you carried making his brows furrow "you look beautiful" he murmurs as he reaches out for your hand tugging you close. "You look really beautiful" he says even louder than before as he leans his head down to meet your gaze hoping to see how genuine he had been.

Seeing your smile rest easily on your lips has him releasing a breath he didn't know he was holding. His hand dropping from your hand to the back of your thigh urging you to sit. Straddling over his waist he eases himself on his back as you crawl over his chest. You straddle his face over it as he comes face to face with your pussy making your thighs shake.

Your knees dig into the mattress as you crawl over his face, your thighs trapping his head between your thighs, the smile on his lips makes your stomach flutter. You were nervous to sit down all the way, making you hover over his face cautiously. "What are you doing? Sit all the way" he spoke to him with a small laugh that made his chest bubble.

He's met with the pretty sight of your pussy and thighs glistening in your slick arousal. Looking back up at you his gaze darkened as he gave small kisses against your thigh.

You gasp as you watch his head disappear between your legs. The heat of his mouth nearing your pussy he licks small stripes against your clit before he sensually licks from your entrance to your clit, and sucking on your clit with fervor.

You moan as your head falls back and your fingers find their way to his hair. The sounds you make are so pleasurable to his ears. He presses his nose on your clit, inhaling your scent deeply before his tongue dives inside your waiting pussy. You pull onto his hair, writhing against his face.

"Oh fuck" you manage to whimper out you tug at his hair as he groaned, your eyes shut as you "please fuck me with your fingers" you moan neediness dripping from your tone. His hand moving from your plush thighs, his thumb rubbing harsh circles on your clit he pulled away licking your clit once more his middle and ring fingers make way to your entrance.

Pushing in slowly you groan at the penetration, easing your tight walls around his thick fingers as he pushes them deeper you feel the cold metal on his rings all the way at the knuckles of his fingers as it grounds you from the euphoric feeling.

Pulling his head away he looks up at you with your juices on his swollen lips and on his chin his fingers begin to move opening your eyes you look down at him feeling his gaze as he watches you react gasping as the feeling you grind down against his fingers "you like that? Don't you?" He says as he licks your essence off of his lips.

His hair now disheveled as his cheeks were heating up, yet if it weren't for the lights that were barely peeking through his window into his bedroom you would see his raging blush. you nod eagerly "yeah? You want me to go faster for you?" He coos feeling you clench around him at the sound of his lewd words.

"Say it" he demanded, making you clench harder "yes please- please go faster Sunghoon" you say losing your mind on his fingers as you absentmindedly grind down on his.He hums as he watches his finger get sucked inside of you. Moaning at the sight with sparkling eyes. His fingers hitting all the right places stuffing your pussy as the sloppy sounds of his fingers pounding into you as if you were his personal fuck toy.

"So good- just for me right?" He asks as his tongue finds its way back to your clit, he looks up at you choking on your moans "yes" you say feeling a familiar pressure build in the pit of your stomach. "I'm so close" you whimper.

sending tingles down your body before he licked big stripes of your cunt, sucking on your clit, his tongue working wonders on you. "Cum on my face- please" he says, his free hand shaking on your thigh. Your hips grind against his face as the feeling of his fingers so deep inside you curling had you gasping for air desperately.

His thumb replacing his tongue as he rubs circles on your clit, your hips shake as your mind is clouded with the sudden rush of your orgasm. You let out an almost pornographic moan as he continues to pump his fingers in and out of you until you ride out your high.

"So good" he coos as you grip his wrist as overstimulation starts to creep in. Waiting for you to come down he slowly removes his fingers as he is eager to taste you.

Sunghoon's dripping fingers make their way up to your clit as his mouth makes its descent to your puffy lips. he pushes his heavy fingers on your clit as he adorns your lips with light pecks and kitten licks before using his free hand to pull them apart and licking your entrance. his mouth sucks hard in its endeavour to taste all of you.

Your hips buck at the feeling the sloppy sounds make your head spin. one of your hands moves to grip the hair on the back of his head and you push his face into yourself even more "oh god" you say shivering at the feeling. Pulling away his eyes look up at you while his lips attach themselves to your thigh, he bites and sucks the skin on your thigh in different spots leaving red and purple spots to bloom into hickeys as the hours pass.

Pulling away he lifts his fingers still covered in your cum up to his lips sucking on them becoming addicted to the way you taste. Licking whatever remnants of cum was left on his plump lips "You taste so good" he mumbled as he watched you pull away from him with a poor attempt to catch your breath and come down from the sensitivity between your legs.

"When you said you'd never had sex before I didn't expect you to be that good at going down on someone" you say breathlessly making Sunghoon laugh as he sits up using his forearms to hold his weight. "I didn't say I was bad at being in between someone's legs" he says shaking his head. "Well for a virgin I'm assuming you wouldn't between many peoples legs that much" you huff as your back hits the pillows on his bed. He coos at you while his hand reaches out for you "all that teasing and now you're all pouty" he says as he scoots closer to you landing a hand on your still naked thighs.

Shaking your head at his sudden cockiness "what about you?" You nod at him which earns you a soft yet confused look "what about me?" He asks as he finally adjusts himself to be seated beside you. "You're still hard" you point out as both of your gazes fall to his lap. "Oh. You don't have to worry about that, whenever this happens I'm typically doing all the work before she's off somewhere else" he shrugs like it's nothing .

"But I'm not them, I want to finish you off" you whisper as you roll over onto your chest waiting for him to grant approval of your new found fixation. "Okay" he says wide eyed and slightly breathless. Sunghoon was never on the receiving end of pleasure, and for you to be the first girl to even offer made everything align for him. You were nothing like the other girls he involved himself with; all too shallow and cocky, swimming in money, and selfish.

Sunghoon liked you more than he was leading on yet he didn't mind the feeling that settled within his chest as he watched you settle between his legs. Your fingers latch onto the elastic band of his shorts tugging them down as his painfully hard cock spring free from its confinements. His tip blushing red, yet shining with precum down his shaft. The sight made your mouth water you look up at him who had shown signs of nervousness.

"Show me how you touch yourself" you mumbled looking at his hands that had a tight grip on the bedsheets until his knuckles turned red. Nodding mindlessly his hand finds its way to his shaft as his thumb presses against his slit rubbing it gently his hips buck in sensitivity. Reaching his hand over he lets your fingers wrap around his length. His hand covered yours, guiding gently as you fisted your own up and down the length of him. The only sounds were your heavy breathing, Sunghoon's harsh pants that he pressed into your neck, his lips pushing kisses to your throat and shoulders when he could.

"Feels so good" he puffs out with a small groan. His words had you breathless, your hand fisting over him with more confidence now, palm slick from how excited he was, moaning at the feeling your thighs press together at the sweet sounds you pull from his throat. Leaning down flattening your tongue against the underside of his cock you dragged up against the vein running up to the tip— he let out a rich moan that ended with a groan "shit". His head was thrown back against the pillow and his breathing was labored.

Lifting his head from the mattress looking down at you, the sight makes him twitch in your hand, because this is what he's been thinking about all day. This was his selfish wish, to see you on your knees, your lip caught between your teeth, with a look of satisfaction as you get him off.

The feeling of your wet palm rubbing against him slowly has left his breathing unsteady and his mind completely blank. His hand covered yours, guiding gently as you fisted your own up and down the length of him. The only sounds were his heavy breathing, and you letting out a small giggle at how big his hand looked over yours as he tightened his grip.

He squeezed you, applying a little more pressure and you did, twisting your wrist a little as you got to his head, thumb stroking over him. His hips lifted into your hand and you couldn't help but clench your thighs tight.

"Your hand feels so good" he groans, His words had you breathless, your hand fisting over him with more confidence now, palm slick from how excited he was and you gasp ripped through you as he pulls away letting his hand run through his hair, eyes rolling back at the feeling.

Pressing a kiss to his tip softly earns you a small hiss at the feeling, dragging your tongue against the underside vein of his cock had his jaw slacked and back to his tip before letting a Pearl of spit fall past your lips watching as it slowly runs down shaft fisting him in your hand a few more times before taking him in your mouth.

He's big. thick. and the stretch that comes along with taking him in your mouth is a plaguing reminder. but you don't mind it too much, you like the thought of him when he's all deep in your mouth and you can feel the tip of him hot and heavy in the back of your throat it makes you gag, and choke, and your eyes get cloudy with tears to the point they spill over, but it's worth it. It's worth it without fail.

You swallow down the already-there taste of him on your tongue—you both let out a moan. Can feel the top half of him shift like his head has fallen back, an image of his beautifully parted mouth hung open, eyes screwed shut in pleasure has you moaning against him ; your body on fire, your pussy aching.

You match the pumps of your hand with the drag of your mouth up and down his dick. Swirl your tongue around the head and suck when you reach it. Let yourself go as far as your gag reflex will let you until you're gagging around him and he's cursing and digging his nails into the mattress once again.

And when you steal a glance to the side you can see how red his knuckles look from the death grip he has the sheets in. How his fingers twitch and hand runs along his thigh, acting as if he wants to touch you but not daring to. You steal another glance up at him, "oh, ohmygod" tumbling from his lips when your eyes meet; he looks so desperate right now. So flushed and pretty.

The feeling of his tip repeatedly meeting the back of your throat has you gagging and tightening around him. His head was spinning as he tried not to reach for your hair and face fuck you it was becoming harder. Giving up he teaches for the back of your neck pulling you into him as he becomes more and more addicted to the warm and wet feeling in the back of your throat.

His hips thrust into your mouth as he feels himself becoming closer to his much needed orgasm. He really can't help himself you felt so good around his cock, firm hand on the back of your neck as he thrusted his cock in and out of your pretty mouth while salvia dripping down your chin with every snap of his hips. You looked so damn gorgeous covered in pre-cum and spit for him, he couldn't deny that.

He moaned out your name,"Your fucking mouth,"He moaned out to you, caressed the side of your face with his hand on your cheeks your throat constricted around the thick length but god, you didn't care how sore your jaw was, it was so worth it.

"Please? Can I cum all over your pretty face?" He whined as his brows scrunch as he was getting closer to what he wanted. Barely nodding Sunghoon took his chance to keep fucking your mouth finding heaven. a string of profanities leave his lips. he's close, and you can tell by the way he begins to fuck into your face with unparalleled ferocity. to guide him there, you begin to hollow your cheeks and narrow your throat, using a single hand to massage his balls.

he can feel you start to get antsy, and when you start to scratch and claw at his thighs for air, that does it for him. with a final, lazy thrust, he releases the entirety of his load down your throat, keeping you pressed down on him until he's sure every last drop has been emptied into your mouth.

He felt utterly shy as he watched you pull away as strings of cum and spit attached the both of you still, watching as you run a finger against the corner of your lip; cum on your finger you press it against your tongue enjoying every flash of lust in his eyes as you try and catch your breath you laughed. "That was" sunghoon trailed off as he attempts to find the exact words of how he felt in his post-orgasm daze.

"Amazing" you huffed as you rolled over to the empty side of the bed. Sunghoon nodded in agreement as he mentally patted himself on the back at being able to make you finish. When your warm hands touched his bare chest he looked over at you seeing how you cuddled up to his side. The skin to skin contact making warmth wash over the both of you.

Basking in the small silence you can hear Sunghoon's breathing which almost makes you fall asleep in his arms. "I'm having a family function Saturday, and I was wondering if you wanted to come?" You look up at him with hopeful eyes that he'd take up the offer. Sunghoon on the other hand was nervous. He had never met your parents, let alone your friends within the month you've been giving him lessons.

"Sure" he said before his mind could even process that he'd be meeting your father, uncles, cousins, aunts, and on the off chance any one of your grandparents. But Sunghoon knew he'd honestly never be ready. "Okay, good" you mumbled as you fight the smile on your lips, sunghoon nods in agreement "good" tumbles out of his mouth just barely as the warmth in his chest starts to grow. The feeling is unsettling for Sunghoon, he's felt butterflies, and his face and ears heating up... but never the warmth in his chest.

"Let's take a shower and then I'll drop you off Hm?" He says looking down at you with utter infatuation. You smile at him as you feel the same unfamiliar warmth. The intimate moments shared in the shower of lingering touches and washing each other's backs and chaste kisses was something that came so easily and it scared you how the moment had come and passed like it was nothing, but your mind would save the moments within your mental scrap book of memories you never wanted to forget.

——

Sunghoon was nervous, he felt like he had been riding rollercoasters all morning; even when he had taken a shower he felt slightly light headed thinking about meeting your family. Excited was another emotion Sunghoon almost felt was eating him up from the inside out and ready to rip through his stomach. Dressing nicely for the hot weather and slicking his hair back. Just a few strands that were irritatingly not cooperating with him on the one day he needed it to.

Yet he let it go and decided that just around the time you had told him to show up, grabbing his keys off the kitchen counter and kissing his mom's cheek murmuring out a goodbye. "Where are you off to that has you so spaced out?" Mrs.Park asks with a small smile on her face watching her son stop in his tracks.

sunghoon could feel a smile on his lips "y/n's having a family get together and asked me to stop by for a while and say hi" he says as his smile grows stronger.

Mrs.Parks smile had disappeared just as fast as it had came. "The girl that gives you swimming lessons?" She asked as her tones sported a sort of annoyance in it. "Yeah, we've gotten really close since she started giving me those lessons" he nods smiling as he thought to the last time he had saw you. Close, Mrs. Park doesn't do close. Especially not with lower class girls like you that make her son and family get odd looks.

"That's...great honey, have a good time. Don't forget that the country club is having mid summer festival on Monday, it's gonna start at 8:30" she huffs bitterly with a fake smile on her face. Sunghoon doesn't catch her tone nor does he see the tight lipped smile she gives him, only nodding off and taking his leave without a care in the world. His feet felt lighter and his stomach felt like it had been flipped on the drive to your house.

The houses and people walking on the sidewalks blur past, the same AC/DC tape playing from the night you ran from security at the pool, he couldn't help but smile brightly at the memory of it managed to evolve from strictly swimming lessons to whatever the two of you are now (not that he minded). Turning down the familiar street he could see cars lined up against the curb and some parked in the front lawn grass.

Almost baffled at how many cars there had been parked when normally Sunghoon had dropped you off to 4 cars parked in their driveways. The feint sound of music coming from the small yellow house with pretty garden, and people scattered all over the front lawn. Slowing down as he drove past hoping to catch a glimpse of you he does. Sitting at the top of the steps on the porch fitted in a t-shirt tucked into your high waist shorts that showed off your legs, chunky bright red earrings, and your hair styled just right, paired with some white sneakers.

You looked good, different compared to all the times he's seen you always clad in a bathing suit and towel, shorts and tank tops, and hair messy from swimming. He likes the way you look all the time, as he rolls his windows down you make contact and smile almost immediately, waving. Waving back with a grin he felt giddy seeing how happy you had become by his arrival. He find a spot at the curb and stepping out not forgetting to lock his doors like you advised the first time he dropped you off home.

He already has a fond memory at your front doorstep that clouds his mind as you leave a peach scented lip gloss stain on his warm cheek. Blinking away his thoughts as he sees you meet him halfway between the yard and sidewalk with a bright smile.

"Hey, I was wondering when you'd show up. My mom is really excited to meet you" you gush as Sunghoon pulls you in for an almost bone crushing hug. Both of you were surprised by his action. Sunghoon had seen you no less than 48 hours ago yet he was hugging you like he hadn't seen a glimpse of you in years.

Your face heated up at the sudden affection he showed you no less in front of some of your family members scattered around the front lawn. Finding comfort in his tight embrace you wrap your arms around his neck and let your eyes flutter shut as you take in the intimate moment not wanting to pull away at the now familiar warmth in your chest began to grow and your stomach felt like it had flipped.

Slowly pulling away Sunghoon's arms are lazily wrapped around your waist as you hold a minimum eye contact. "Everyone's in the backyard waiting for food, I want you to meet my grandma first" you smile as you think about the sweet aged woman who was awfully honest and hilarious without trying.

"Sounds good, I can't wait to meet her" he says with a bright smile. Hearing how much you were looking forward to introducing him to your family members. When you escort him to the large gate that separated your yard from your neighbors he felt like he could vomit from being so nervous. Wearing a tight lipped smile that screamed 'im going to cry any second'.

But the sight behind the gate made his brown eyes soften; you family dancing and laughing, drinking, younger kids chasing each other around, while the older kids sit at tables talking and gossiping about their summer. Sunghoon had never been in this environment once, just narrow eyes and gossip, expensive family dinners and posh music.

Your family was cool and the most interactive he had ever seen one outside of his small circle of friends who could barely say the same. The music blasts through one of the biggest boom boxes he had ever seen propped up on an empty table. "Wow" he whispers to himself as adoration fills your eyes at the sight of your family. "Come on, I want you say hi to everyone. I don't want it to be an hour from now and someone says 'so your friend can't speak' it happened the last time I brought a friend over. Never again" you say.

Nodding his head Sunghoon watched you shut the gate and guide you towards a large cushioned chair, he assumed by the gray hair peaking over it was your grandma and his smile hadn't wavered once. Your hand rests on the spine of the chair as your face brightens "grandma, I want you to meet my friend Sunghoon" you smile enthusiastically as her lips stretch into a smile.

"Oh! Hello, it's so nice to meet you. You're so handsome" she gushed as her eyes meet Sunghoon's as he laughs at the compliment from the elder women. "Thank you, it's nice to meet you as well! Y/n told me great things about you" he says remembering the time one of your days at the community pool when you told him about how your grandmother taught you how to swim in the large swimming pool she used to own.

"Y/n! How'd you find such a nice boy?" She smiles as she reaches her hand out for Sunghoon's pale one. Grasping it softly she shakes his hand "I met him at the community pool, and I give him swimming lessons" you smile fondly at the two holding hands. "Oh, you live on the north end of town? I heard it's pretty nice over there" your grandma nods. Sunghoon felt flushed and almost embarrassed he didn't know how anyone would react to not living remotely close to how they do.

"No, he lives on the East side, just a few blocks from where grandpa used to live back when you were in high school" you say making your grandma shoot you a surprised look "east side? Do people still grow those little cherry trees in the lawns?" She asks reminiscing her teen years. "Some do, my family doesn't have any trees we have little bushes and a small vegetable garden" he sulks.

"We have a peach tree over there in the corner, but we don't really eat the peaches because my mom is scared that there gonna make us sick or something" you smile. "We should pick some and clean them up sometime" Sunghoon says making you nod. "Go ahead and bring him to your mom, you know how crazy she gets about guests who don't speak" your grandma rolls her eyes just thinking about it.

You laugh and nod your head, Sunghoon bids your Grandmother goodbye as you guide him closer to a crowd of women. Their eyes pierce through him like a pack of Lions preying on their next 'meal' of judgement. "Is this Sunghoon? The boy you've been helping?" Your mom asks a cross the table and Sunghoon could've swore he was looking at the older version of you, yet she looked to be about late thirties with no wrinkles in sight nor a gray hair.

"Mhm, Sunghoon this is my mom" you smile as you wrap your arm comfortably around her waist smiling up at him. "It's so nice to meet you, I'm glad to put a face to a name that I'm hearing of often" your mom says making your face heat up in embarrassment at how easily she could say that. "Glad to know y/n talks about me" Sunghoon smirks at the idea of you talking to your parents about him.

"Y/n can you go in and check on the food in the oven?" Your mom asks as her hand rubs against your shoulder comfortingly. "Sure. If anything is done do you want me to set it out?" You ask pulling away from her grasp she hums watching you pass Sunghoon's now stiff standing figure as he and your mother share awkward eye contact.

Seeing that you were now out of ear shot your mom now taking her chance to evaluate Sunghoon fully. He's handsome, rich, a gentleman, polite, teasing yet humble. "Does she make you happy?" Your mom blurts it was almost surprising to Sunghoon if it hadn't been for the way her lips had twitched and her eyes narrowed while she stared him down.

"Very" he answers quickly, the sudden feeling of being interrogated washed over him. "Good, because I can tell you make her happy. She never brings friends over, let alone a boy. So your special" she says adoring the thought of her child finally showing off her social skills to her family. "I very well I hope I am. She's the nicest, most selfless and considerate person I have ever met" he says with a soft smile and eyes filled with an unknown look.

"Keep her. And I'm not saying it as her mom, I'm saying it because you look like a lovesick puppy just thinking about her" your mom laughs. "What was it like for you when you met the first person you loved?" Sunghoon asks pensively hoping for a serious answer. "I met him in High school, I held on to him, we got married and had y/n. We may not be the richest family but we do what we can" she says thinking of all her years with your father and you.

"Did it ever feel...scary? Not like a stupid crush but something that just doesn't feel real?" He asks once again. Your mom genuinely couldn't help the smile on her face "love is different for everyone, so I couldn't tell you exactly how love feels, but if your interested in someone else your not in love" she says reaching out to pat his arm.

——

Watching through the kitchen window the heat of the oven making the entire house feel like sauna; you watch your mom and Sunghoon converse in the middle of the backyard. You squint your eyes hoping you could read their lips but the beaming sun shining off the glass tables aimed straight for the window almost takes out your ability to have vision completely.

You sigh as you grab oven mitts off the counter seeing how ragged and charred from its run in time you make a small sound in disgust as you open the oven door feeling an even hotter wave roll out onto your skin looking inside seeing a pie baked crisply, smiling as you realize your mom made a peach pie, one of your favorites.

Pulling it out of the oven carefully the warmth of the tin holding the desert seeps through the fabric warming up your palms. You carefully find a free spot on the stove that hadn't been filled by a pot or pan filled with food. You hear the back door sliding open making you look over your shoulder to see Sunghoon standing Awkwardly in the small dining room finding his way through the table and chairs.

Standing in the small doorway watching as you take off the oven mits "you look like someone's mom" he smiles as you toss them onto the counter "yeah right, I'm bad with kids" you laugh even thinking about having to babysit someone else's child. "I doubt that, you work where tons of kids are for hours" Sunghoon says furrowing his brows. "Yet your kid friend still managed to make you drown" your lips curl awkwardly.

"You did not have to bring that up" he points a finger at you sulking at the memory which makes your lips quirk in a smile "I'm sorry, I won't bring it up again" you almost giggle at the pout on his lips. Dragging your feet over to him your arms slink around his neck making his stomach instantly flutter. Like second nature his hands wrap around your waist "yeah? You promise?" He asks with a grin pulling your hips into his.

"Mhm, I promise" you coo as you rake your fingers through his soft hair. "Thank you" he whispers as he leans in pressing a chaste kiss to your lips making you hum unsatisfied with how quick the feeling of his lips on yours felt. "One more kiss" you say dazed looking into his eyes. "Just one more?" He asks softly, you knew it wasn't going to be just one more making you snicker and shake your head.

Pressing your lips to his, shifting over until his back was pressed against the archway, hands perched against your lower back rubbing comforting circles against the fabric. The sound of the back door being pulled open again makes the two of you rip away almost immediately as your cousin comes into view holding a baby wrapped in a small blanket.

"Relax it's just me. Where's your mom's room? I need to put her down for a nap or else she'll get fussy" she says smirking at the two of you smugly, wiping the corner of your mouth shyly you point to the hallway "down there last door on the right" you whisper. She nods as she walks away eyeing up Sunghoon with audacious eyes almost as if she was evaluating him.

His head falls back against the wall looking up at the ceiling as his face is flushed. Sunghoon felt like his stomach had dropped to his ass when the two of you heard the door open only to be relieved when someone just about your age had walked in. "Is that her baby?" He asks curiously as he hears the door to a bedroom click shut.

You nod "no that's her sister, she practically raises the child herself" you roll your eyes at the thought of your aunt who loudly talks and drinks, and hands off her baby to anyone who has free hands. "Ah, you wanna go back outside for a bit it's really warm in here" Sunghoon says as he wipes the small sheen of sweat building up at the back of his neck.

Nodding you both walk out the same way you entered hearing all of the loudness and joy of your family come to surface. It was chaotic hearing the squeal of your younger cousins and the shouting of your uncles as they talk about whatever in the moment had them rowdy.

You felt a tug at your jeans shorts making you look down with furrowed brows until they soften at the sight of one of your smaller cousins at the ripe age of 5 doe eyed and clueless as she holds her arms up awaiting a seat on your hip making you smile at the young girl. "I haven't seen you all morning" you coo at her with a sweet grin. She smiles as her feet are no longer touching the ground as you engulf her in a sweet hug and her legs wrap around your hip.

"I went to go play- and I saw a really pretty flower that I want to give you so I came back" she says her eyes turning to crescents with a sweet smile on her lips as she struggles to let out the words that had already been made up in her mind but you understood perfectly. Reaching into the pockets of her tiny dress you see a small damaged flower, the green stem bent out of shape and some of the small purple petals missing.

Nonetheless you accepted the flower with a smile and nothing but a warmth in the pit of your stomach thank you, it's so pretty" you say as your smile had made the girl reciprocate the same face. Tucking the flower into your hair the petals itching at your temple that you ignore.

From your angle you had missed the way Sunghoon's face had softened and his ears turned slightly red 'not good with kids my ass' was on the top of his tongue yet he held it back watching you set the young girl back down on her feet watching her bicker about being put down with a smile on your face watching the stubborn young girl gripe about the rejection of affection she wanted give her older cousin only brushed off with "I have company but when I get the chance I'll come find you okay?" You say but the girls short attention span caves in on her only running off mumbling a confirmation she understood.

"I thought you were bad with kids?" Sunghoon asks scrunching his nose "she's my favorite kid so I try" you grin making him shake his head "I thought they say 'i can't pick a favorite' when it came to family?" Sunghoon adds making you laugh. "They say that about kids, nobody says it's a rule with cousins because I definitely have favorites" you nod firmly to stand on your point.

"Why is she your favorite?" He asks as he watches the small girl run hurriedly into the crowd of your other cousins to which he assumed were playing tag. "She reminds me of myself when I was younger. Always trying to make other people happy" you say with a feint smile adorning your lips. "She feels like the little sister I never got to have" you say as your eyes latch onto Sunghoon's side profile as he watched your family with envious eyes.

"Why don't we sit down for a while and wait until dinners ready" you say patting his back softly making his eyes rip away from everyone else and zero in on you. "Yeah, what are we eat?" He asks which makes you smile "well at parties like these it's a lot of stuff so you can choose whatever you want and eat it. If you want seconds you can always go back for more" you nod as you guide him to an empty seat at the table filled with all your cousins around yours and Sunghoon's age.

——

Well into a few hours after eating and talking it had started to become dark, all the younger kids settled into the living room watching cartoons or sleeping in random rooms that their parents could find. A small bonfire had been made you and sunghoon settled down in two lawn chairs letting the warmth of the fire run over your skin. One of your uncles slipping the both of you bottles of beer with a sheer smirk only turning away with the face of innocence like nothing happened.

"Did you have fun?" You ask Sunghoon watching his eyes stare into the pit of heat, orange hues wash over his face flickering as the crackling of the fire bring a sort of calmness to the atmosphere. "Yeah, I don't think I've seen a family as hyper as yours other than in movies" he laughs. "Is that a bad thing? Being hyper I mean?" You ask with a slight tilt hoping to catch the look in his eyes.

His head snaps towards you with wide eyes almost panicked "no! Not at all- it's a great thing I just, I'm never this close with my family" he trailed off awkwardly making your lips fall into a small frown. "I know Hoon I'm just fucking with you" you smile as you pat his thigh. Sunghoon makes a sound of false annoyance before his eyes eyes narrowed at you.

Then he noticed the way your arms wrapped around your torso tightly as you began to shiver, the night winds starting to pick up. Sunghoon felt guilty for not having a jacket "you cold?" He asks as he scoots the lawn chair closer hearing the distinct chattering of your teeth. "Yeah but...I'll be fine" you say waving him off making Sunghoon's brows furrow in confusion.

"No, we're going inside it's too cold and you'll get sick" he disapproved of your dismissive attitude as he stands up from the chair holding his hand out to you. Your eyes hold a longing question back. "Are- are you sure you want to come inside? You can go home if you want to I'm sure your tired" you ask with genuine concern.

"I want to see what your room looks like. What kid of host doesn't show their guest around? That's like proper hosting etiquette" Sunghoon snarks as he shakes his hand feigning annoyance at you for not taking it. Your warm fingers tangle themselves between his as he uses basic strength to haul you out of your chair. "I think you need more west side friends hoon.... even they'd tell you to never invite people in your house, that's how shit gets stolen" you say as the both of you begin to treck through following the dim light that shines through the small back door.

"Do I have to worry about that with you?" He asks jokingly and you immediately push his arm making him stumble. The both of you completely forgetting your holding hands making him drag you along with him during his side steps earning a giggle out of you. "Why because I'm from the west side?" You asked with a playful tone but you see Sunghoon's playful smile drop to something more serious "never" he flatly answers making you straighten up.

"I know, don't worry about it I would never steal anyways, my mom raised me better than that" you say hoping to air out the serious tone before the both of you were alone. The both of you finally are engulfed in the familiar warmth of the house as the lights are more dim. Neither of you knowing exactly what time it is and not that it matters you were too wrapped up in the comforting silence and presence of Sunghoon to care.

"You said you wanted a tour right?" You ask looking over at him seeing how he wrapped his arms around himself rubbing his bare arms hoping to get rid of the goosebumps that had risen on his skin. "Yeah, Show me around please?" He asks as he awaits your guide around the small home.

You trail through the kitchen that he had already been in once before, tracking into a small living room with a singular couch and a reclining chair all filled with sleeping kids. Stepping carefully through the small slumped bodies you and Sunghoon stop in front of a wall littered in paintings and pictures of you and your family.

One had caught his eye though; a picture of you and your grandma when she was visibly much younger. You were in a floaty that looked almost identical to the one sunghoon had been using at the community pool. You were smiling as your grandma held onto the pink plastic as the water you kicked had turned into a big blur behind you. Sunghoon smiled softly just imagining a younger you going through the same struggle he is now with disheveled hair and a few teeth missing.

"Who took this picture?" He asks as he smiles at the sight of your younger self as you described. "My grandpa, he and my grandpa didn't live that far away from your house. But after he passed she couldn't afford the rent or taking care of herself alone" you say lowly thinking about how your grandmother had to move in with your family after the loss of her husband.

"Where does she live now?" He asks, though Sunghoon didn't want to pry he wanted to know as much as he could about you and your family. "Here, she has my old room and I have the attic" you shake your head. "Is it not scary up there?" He asks with an undertone of concer written on his face. "It used to freak the absolute fuck out of me. My older cousins used to tell me that spirits haunt the attic and slept on the fucking couch for a month" you almost pout at the the thought of thirteen year old you bundled on the couch in the dark praying the spirits would decide your feeble under-grown body wasn't worth eating.

"And you believed it?" Sunghoon was almost at a loss for words. "You wouldn't? I believed anything those shit heads told me when I was a kid. Now I'm the one telling my cousins if they say Bloody Mary in the mirror three times she'll kill them" you chuckle as you think about the stupid myth that even you believed at one point.

"So you've turned into one of those shit heads?" He asks with clear amusement written all over his face "I take all the credit for all the kids ages 10 through 15 trauma of traditional scary stories" you shrug holding back your smile. "Yeah I see it, you really are a shit head. If my cousins ever did that to me we'd never speak again" Sunghoon jokes making you shove him.

The moment of silence was comforting as the both of you continue to skim over the wall of pictures, sometimes he'd point out one of you over the year and you'd explain. After a while you both managed to trail over to the door that led to the attic. A hallway with two doors, it had seemed very ominous but if it wasn't for the fact that there was a light in the very small hallway.

"I heard a rumor during Sophomore year you shanked a girl in the locker rooms, and if this is your way of taking me out; make it quick" Sunghoon mumbled shakily becoming all too stressed out at the quietness between you two. "You knew me during Sophomore year?" You ask turning your head stopping in the middle of the narrow staircase to look at him.

"Is that all you got of that entire sentence?" He deadpanned. "Well I heard that you got a hand job under the bleacher last year by that Mandy chick who smokes cigarettes in the bathroom" you laugh at the mumbles and rumors that spread like wild fire about Sunghoon and his friends in high school.

"How come we were never friends in school?" He asks completely brushing off your comment, "because I wasn't rich and you weren't exactly the nicest to my friends" you say with a wince remembering one of your run ins with Sunghoon and the rest of his rich preppy friends that he ran around school with.

"What? I was nice to everybody in school" he says defensively. "Park Jisung, the week before Christmas break. You and one of your friends were fighting and basically slammed him into his locker and neither of you said sorry" you say deadpanned earning a hiss from Sunghoon. "Ouch, I don't exactly remember that but now I feel bad" he says with guilt dripping all over his tone as the both of you finally reach the top of the stairs.

Guiding him past the very first door you and Sunghoon enter your bedroom. Neat, decorated, and a lot of records arranged by artist and genre. "Why do you have a picture of Johnny Depp above your bed?" He asks as he eyes the poster poorly taped to your ceiling. "Don't worry about that" you feel your body heat up.

"Right... your room is nice. I knew you had thing for music but I didn't know you had an entire bookshelf dedicated to records" he says as his fingers trail over the many plastic coverings reading them off. "It's a lot of rap in here" he says as he pulls out a random tape skimming over the cover to see it.

You smile "some of those were my dads, he has a real knack for music. But he listens more to Jazz and old school" you shrug as your fingers brush against the rim of one of the old dusty cases of a tape.As Sunghoon's eyes trail around your room once for hoping he wouldn't miss a single detail he see's a small box TV with a small pile of movies and a VCR on top of a long dresser that seemed to be catching up in age as it had paint scratched off and faded old stickers he assumed was from when you were much younger.

"So you've never had anyone in here before?" He asked as he walks a few steps closer, you could feel the air becoming warmer as you heard the slight undertone of suggestiveness in his words. "Nope, nobody was special enough to make the cut" you murmur as you sit on the edge of your bed. "So I'm special?" Sunghoon asks with fire in his eyes as he understands the meaning behind your moms words.

"You could say that" you shrug stubbornly as you look up at him who was only 2 strides away from his legs touching your knees. "You know I am" He nods firmly as if he was trying to convince you to say it out loud. "Only special people get to lay in bed with me and help completely hot box the shit out of my room" you say lifting a brow up at him suggesting he takes the offer.

"What makes you think I smoke weed?" He asks with narrow eyes. Sunghoon does smoke he just wants to be difficult and rile you up. "Because the last time we were in your room I saw an ash tray and a half smoked blunt sitting inside of it" you purse your lips looking at him with expectant eyes. "And you kind of always smell like weed mixed with cologne" you shrug as you attempt to roll onto the other side of the bed and open the bed side drawer with a glass bong standing tall.

Grabbing all of the necessities you smile at the glass shaped like a woman's naked body. Packing the bowl with the green plant and pressing down gently with your finger your hand scampers around the sheets for your lighter. "Sit on the bed don't be shy it's not like I'm gonna smash it on your head" you say with a grin as you see sunghoon sit on the edge and grabbing the small metal lighter off your pillow.

"Seems like you know what you're doing" he says in a matter-of-fact way which makes you scoff. "I smoke a lot sue me. Working with a bunch of kids and parents all week makes me need soothing" you crack a smile at how stressed you sound. "When did you start smoking?" He asks quizzically making you laugh. "When I was 16? One of my friends had helped me sneak out for the first time to a party and she wanted to teach me so she shot gunned me until I actually wanted to smoke from the blunt" you explained as you was the flame of the lighter flicker and engulf the weed.

Sunghoon watches as you take the very first hit as the smoke builds inside of the see through glass as the bubbles formulate, you pull the small tube attached to the bowl taking a larger hit to clear the rest of the smoke before holding it in your lungs and exhaling to let out the largest puff of smoke Sunghoon has ever seen someone indulge in ever.

Watching you a few more times you finally hold it out for Sunghoon who takes it following in what he saw you do. The both of you are practically sinking into your bed on different side as the both of you talk nonsense and memories. "Wait...do you have a record player?" Sunghoon asks as he finally realized as he looks at the bedside table to see the old red and black record player.

"Yeah...choose a song and play it" you say slowly as your eyes feel heavy. The fur blanket underneath you bringing you slight warmth, as the tall lamp in the corner of your room was dim and brought a warmth to the look of your bed room and your pillows threatened to pull you into sleep. But the sudden movements of Sunghoon standing up from your bed and blowing your thick shelf of records kept you wide awake.

The distant sound of your family still outside loud as can be drinking and probably playing a card game brought you a sense of familiarity and a small smile on your face. Lugging himself back over to your bed and slumping himself close enough to your thighs he hands you a record "Selena....didn't expect that" you say softly as you tilt your head opening the jacket and watching carefully pulling to the round shiny black disk from the pocket of the record casing.

Leaning over you set the record on the platter and position the tone arm before hearing the soft crackles of the track beginning. Hearing the beat of 'Dreaming of you' beginning to play brings you relaxation. "When did you listen to love songs? I've only heard you listen to rock and a little of pop" you smile hazily while teasing the brunette boy.

"Who says I can't be romantic?" He asks looking up at you with an arched brow. "I'd just like to see it myself, I know you may have a lot of girls chasing you for the experience but I want front row seats" you smirk as your hand lifts to his hair carding through his dark locks. Sunghoon's hand wraps around your wrist as he keeps your hand on the back of his neck as he slowly leans into you.

Pressing a soft chaste kiss to your lips as if you were glass and if he kissed you any harder you would break. Both of your eyes are low and red, as you both search each other's eyes for any sign of wanting to stop but neither of your faces showed an ounce of it. Slotting your lips between his your lips move at a more passionate rate.

You felt Sunghoon's hand press flat against your thigh needing your skin as his tongue licks a small stripe against your lip, taking it the hint your tongue presses against his making you moan softly into his mouth. Sitting up from his position on his stomach Sunghoon can feel the kiss grow more intense. His hand finds your cheek as he sits up on his knees gently guiding you on your back with your head against the pillow.

His body hovering over yours his hand on one side of your head while the other begins to travel your body down to your upper thigh. Tugging on his hair as your feel the aching between your thighs start to pound. His hands settling on your hip gripping it. Gasping you pull away from the kiss Sunghoon slightly chasing for the feeling. "Do you....want to keep going? I don't want you to think you have to" you say just above a whisper as you and sunghoon hold a stare.

Everything had fallen into place for Sunghoon, he hadn't even cared enough to realize he was getting hard in his jeans from just kissing you in the moment, but he wasn't apposed to the idea at all. "Yeah- yeah I'm ready" He staggered over his words in such a list driven daze. Pressing open mouth kisses to your exposed neck sucking and biting the spot just below your ear that had your moaning softly as you grind against lap pressed against you agonizingly hard.

The friction was just barely enough making you almost whine. As your grip on his hair loosens and your breathing becomes heavier. Sunghoon was becoming needy, he wanted to feel you; all of you. Grabbing onto the hem of your shirt letting his cold hand touch the warm bare skin of your waist.

Although Sunghoon has seen you naked and has kissed you before it all feels different, his stomach was churning, his body was impatient and needy, his hands wants to touch every part of your body he possibly could that you would allow. "Can I take this off?" He asks slipping his hand from under your shirt and tugging at the fabric anticipating your true answer.

"Yeah. Take as much or as little as you want. You want to do this sunghoon so I'm telling you that you don't have to ask for everything when you know the answer is yes" you explain softly, you understood that this was Sunghoon's first time but you want it to come naturally and that he needed not to worry at all.

Inhaling a shaky breath he nods as he pulls your shirt over your head and tossing onto the floor without a care in the world, his lips latch onto your chest kiss and sucking marks all over your collarbones while his hands settle on your waist. Letting your head lay comfortably against the pillow you let out a soft sigh at the feeling of his warm open mouthed kisses against your skin.

Feeling him become more eager as he trails his kisses further down your chest until he reaches the fabric of your bra pressing his face in between your mounds and inhaling the sweet perfume you had on. Your eyes roll back at the feeling making you pull down the straps and unhook it completely. With lust hazed eyes Sunghoon looks up at you as you pull down your bra and drop it onto the floor next to your shirt.

Sunghoon could feel himself twitch in his pants at the sight of you completely topless, your breast look so pretty and he can't help but touch you more and more growing desperate to strip you of every last bit of clothes, touch and kiss every inch he could discover.

Licking a stripe on one of your nipples you roll your hips at the feeling. But as soon as he pulled away you whine, "sit on my lap" he says in a low tone.

Catching a glimpse of the look on his face as the both of you shift until Sunghoon's back presses against the headboard. Pulling his jeans down and tossing them on the floor he looks up expectantly waiting for you to pull yours off as well.

Understanding without saying a word you pull them off discarding them with his as well. Leaving you in your panties that were sticking to you with a small wet patch seeping through the thin fabric.

Crawling into his lap your press your ass down on his bulge with no regard earning you a choked moan. You could feel as your pussy practically stuck to the wet fabric of your panties while you grind your hips against him.

The small wet watch of precum becomes larger as your panties make friction soaking his underwear as well. The outline of his cock rubbing against your clit makes your head spin and you couldn't help but moan and grind harder against him.

"You feel so good" you whimper hearing the sticky sounds of your slick thighs rubbing together, it was messy yet the both of you were too eager chasing some form of an orgasm to care what kind of mess you make.

As you look down at Sunghoon whose head was thrown back while he lets out the deepest groans of pleasure. His hands guiding your hips against his at a faster pace makes you choke out louder moans.

"Fuck" he whispered harshly as you land your eyes on a dazed Sunghoon who was on cloud 9.

You moan at the sight of him making Sunghoon open his eyes and look up at you, "you looked too good" you whisper placing one of your hands down on his lower abdomen as you feel Sunghoon buck his hips into you faster.

The feeling of the fabric running against your pussy slightly burned but it felt too good to care. "Feels so good" he grumbled as the pressure began to build. The both of you chasing your orgasms push your panties to the side rubbing your bare pussy against the fabric of his boxers at a fast pace that makes you whine.

You gasp feeling yourself being sent over the edge, Sunghoon began to slow down but you only shake your head as you anticipate him reaching his peak. "Please keep going, I want you to cum" you moan as your nails drag against his skin leaving behind a trail of red marks.

Your needy words make his eyes roll back as he pushes your hips down, he ruts into you as he moans shamelessly. Sunghoon had no idea if it was just the weed or if your pussy had fucking magic but your sweet moans and the sloppy sounds send him into a spiral of pleasure.

His cum seeps through his boxers as his hips twitch in a bit of overstimulation he didn't care, his hips slow down and then stop completely as he feels himself slowly coming back down to earth.

He lets out a large huff as a shy smile finds its way on his face, he can't believe he just came in his boxers after literally letting you dry hump him like a needy puppy. His hands grip at the flesh of your ass he lets out a small chuckle with a smirk on his lips.

"You're driving me crazy- fuck" he groaned as he continues to catch his breath. You giggle at him still feeling your mind trying to process. You've had sex many times high, drunk, but mostly sober, and none of those times had an orgasm ever felt so good to the point your thighs quivered or you had been at a loss for words. Yet here you were with Park Sunghoon some rich boy you've been hanging out with all summer high and hooking up in your bed room.

No less it was passionate, you didn't understand how a heated make out could lead up to taking someone's virginity but you didn't question it. You were content with just kissing and grinding against the cute brunette boy.

You weren't the only one feeling this way, Sunghoon would have never seen himself actually getting close to third place. Before summer Sunghoon had kept 2 secrets to himself:

1. He doesn't know how to swim,

2. He is a raging virgin.

But no thanks to you by the end of the summer he assumes neither of those things he will have to worry about anymore. The thought makes him smile at you. "What?" You ask sitting up in his lap letting your arms wrap around his neck comfortably. "You teach me how to do a lot of things. Are you sure your a great influence?" He teases as he presses his nose against yours holding eye contact.

"I don't know, are you learning anything valuable with me?" You ask pressing your hips against his with a tilt to the head and a small hum. "Yeah I am" He says pressing small kisses to the corner of you lips, then to your neck and shoulders. "I wanna keep going" he mumbled making you meet his soft gaze. "We can keep going Sunghoon I don't mind" you laugh softly.

"I'll take care of you, I promise you can always tell me to stop" you whispered as you plant a soft kiss on his warm cheek, your hand landed on his rubbing comforting circles on his knuckles. Slowly turning his head, your forehead gently presses against his, the bridge of your nose grazing his you both lean in closing the small gap.

And the moment your lips meet it felt like your very first one, kissing messily while your teeth and tongues clash and your moans practically mixing I to background noise along with the music. He's stealing your breath, and inhaling all the sweet little sounds you make, swiping his tongue to get a taste of your lip balm before it's completely kissed away. You're smiling against his mouth, you can't help it, giggling lightly at the feel of his breath fanning over your kiss-swollen lips. "We'll go real slow" you mumbled pressing chaste kisses to his lips that made him chase after them hoping for more.

Pulling away far enough, your hand angling his jaw to the side getting a good view of his blank skin just waiting to be marked with purple and red splotches. Your lips pressed into his skin earning a soft huff from him. Your tongue running against his skin left him gripping against the edge of your mattress letting his nails dig into the material leaving behind crescent shapes.

Your teeth brush against a spot on his neck that had him choking on a moan "does that feel good right there?" You ask seductively looking down at the wet red splotch on his skin where a small mole had sat idly. Kissing the same spot gently you feel him nod. Humming as you kiss along the nape of his neck and littering hickeys until you reach the hem of his collar. "You wanna take this off for me?" You mumble tugging on his shirt.

"Yeah- I can take it off" he whispered almost as if he were nervous. Sunghoon has never been on the bottom nor has he been inside someone, ever or even coming close. He always thought to take charge, but the way you were kissing his sweet spot and talking to him had him ready to let you do whatever you wanted to him as he pulled his loose shirt over his head messing with his long brown hair messily falling back against his forehead.

To you he looked like he had been made from the heavens above, his skin pale and imperfect yet every scar, mole, freckle, and scab that littered his body. The image of him under you moaning alone had your panties sodden with slick, and you could feel it begin to pool and settle. you were so unbearably wet, so touch-starved, you wanted to feel some sort of relief.

Your cold hands met the warm skin on his chest trailing down to his stomach and down to his v-line where you could see a faint-happy trail that disappeared into the boxers that were practically suffocating him. "Lay back" you whisper to him as you slightly put pressure on his stomach implying that you wanted his head to meet the warm soft sheets on your bed.

Your hands rub over him as a trail of goosebumps follows up his skin. "I wanna make you feel as good as you make me feel" you mumble as you lean down your hair falling over your shoulder you press a kiss to his plump lips that were starting to become red and swollen with every passing moment.

Trailing your lips down the column of his throat as he swallows the lump in his throat harshly. Moving down to his collarbones you nip at his skin with your teeth kissing the same spots continuing to give him his own slow and pleasure-filled torture. He chokes out a moan as your warm tongue traced around his nipple and his hips jerk up into you almost shocked at the stimulation and pleasure he had gotten from your tongue on his skin.

"You like that?" You say almost teasingly as your tongue licks a stripe on his nipple that earns another needy moan to ripple through his throat and fill the room. "Feels so good," he says breathlessly "I know baby, I'll go real slow for you" you coo at him seeing how his eyes flutter shut at the feeling of your lips ghosting over his chest.

Kissing and sucking on his skin until you reached his jeans pushing yourself up from his lap your hands trail down to the loops of his jeans which make his eyes open "can I take these off of you?" You ask softly looking down at a dazed and pleasure-driven Sunghoon with red, glossy, doe eyes looking up at you who stood over him.

"Yeah, do whatever you want" he shook his head agreeing to be the victim of your lust and was ready to let you do whatever it is that you pleased with his body. "Good" you say seeing his black boxers you hook your fingers under the waistband of his boxers tugging them down, over his thighs as he lifts his hips to help you tug them down to his ankles and letting him kick them away onto your floors.

The sight of his cock flushed, and his tip pink and glistening under the lights of your room. Your hands are on his thighs as you get on your knees on the far end of the mattress digging into the springs feeling them ache already and will most likely get fabric burn. Rubbing his thigh you began to kiss up his thigh as he huffs out small shaky breaths awaiting the sheer pleasure you were going to inflict upon him, he was utterly eager to feel your warm mouth on his cock.

Kissing a small beauty mark on his hip that has him squirming as your lips trail and skin across his lower abdomen which earns moans and whines as you take your time leaving small marks on his skin. Your hand trails where his cock rested against his lower stomach semi-hard as your index finger rubs against his tip seeing as a string of precum sticks to your finger still attached to him.

Puckering your lips you press small kisses and his base and up his shaft until you reach his blushed tip, licking a stripe of saliva against his slit had his thighs quiver "fuck" he groaned feeling your lips envelope his tip slowly taking him in your warm mouth,your hand still at his base jerking him off Sunghoon closes his eyes as his hand pushes your head down further.

Flattening your tongue against the underside of his dick you dragged up against the vein running up to the tip— he let out a rich moan that ended with a groan "shit". His head was thrown back and his breathing was labored.

you rubbed your thighs together as that incessant warmth between your legs became stronger and stronger. You could, feeling the tip nudge the back of your throat while your nose was nestled tightly against his pubic bone. While your eyes were closed tight to focus on relaxing your gag reflex to not ruin the tight feeling for him. Sunghoon let his hand guide your head to bob while you hollow your cheeks, Sunghoon was losing his mind at the feeling.

Breathing through your nose you could barely breathe as Sunghoon bucked his hips into your mouth, losing himself in the feeling of your warm mouth. Spitting on his tip you use your tongue to spread it, earning a moan as his pats become tugs when your lips wrap around his and you push your head down relaxing your throat you feel tears well up in the corner of your eyes.

Pushing your head down further you relax your throat taking him deeper until your nose hits his pelvis. Tears cloud your eyes as you almost gag, pulling your head back just a bit you take a deep breath through your nose and begin to bob your head.

You moan as you feel him buck his hips into your throat. "Feels good," he said as you continued to take him in your mouth slurping and bobbing your head, all without hands you were heaven-sent."don't stop" he cursed while moaning out, you speed up your pace as his balls were greeted with a squeeze from your hand. He was approaching his orgasm as his hips buck into your throat relentlessly you gag with each thrust. Tears spilled past your lashes and down your saliva-covered cheeks.

The groans made your pussy ache so you clenched your thighs closed. Sounds of groans buzzing in his chest you couldn't help but let out gags and moans at the tall man above you tears pricked your eyes again but you blink them away and continue taking him. He felt so good your warm and wet mouth was doing it but when you hollow your cheeks. Your hand that was at his base continued to move leaving him to buck his hips into your warm and wet cavern.

You gag as he repeatedly lets his tip meet the back of your throat yet you never pull away. "You take it so fucking- good" he slurs feeling himself twitch, your moans muffled sending vibrations to his dick making him shutter and his orgasm approach. "I'm gonna cum" He moaned as he thrusts one final time before he pushes your head down, cumming down your throat.

Sunghoon felt utterly drunk on the feeling of him coming down from his high, realizing you were still dressed in your pretty panties. "Please fuck me" he whispered, he was desperate to have himself buried inside of you. "You want it that bad?" You whispered looking down at him with a slight shock.

"Yeah, I just wanna feel you so bad" he mumbled as he could feel a blush creeping up on him and his body feeling like it was on fire just from the way you look at him. Pressing his lips to your chest and neck as you grind on his still-hard cock, the feeling of your wet panties and him panting against your skin. "You're so pretty" he mumbled as he sucks and bites at your skin making you bite your lip in hopes that he wouldn't see the smile on your face at the slight compliment.

Humming his mouth attaches to your nipple sucking gently, your mouth falls open as you moan "fuck" you whisper as your fingers entangle into his brunette hair pushing him into your chest, the feeling of his teeth brushing against you makes you unconsciously rut your hips against him dragging the fabric of your panties against his sensitive cock as you both moan.

"I'm done teasing," you say slowly coming back down from your list filled high. Catching your bottom lip between your teeth you lift your hips almost whining at the loss of warmth from Sunghoon's cum covered thighs pulling off your panties but didn't have much time to think about it as you wrap your hand around his still-hard cock.

Rubbing his tip against your clit hearing the slick sounds made you hum as you press him against your entrance slowly pushing him inside your warm and soaked walls you both moan in sensitivity as you sink into him the feeling of hin you had you clenching around him, feeling filled to the hilt "I just wanna cum" he whined under his breath as he guides your hips weakly to move.

"You're gonna cum soon I promise" you whisper as you pepper kisses on his face as you lift your hips to slowly begin bouncing against his lap, a moan dying in your throat as the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls leaves you in an early state of ecstasy. You pull out slowly, just enough to keep his head inside before pushing back in. A groan escaped his throat at how good it felt.

His nails digging into your hips as nothing but pleasure is all he could think about. You hear him breathily moan your name as his tip rubs against a spot inside you that had your eyes squeezing shut, you could feel his hips chasing yours lazily thrusting into you making the both of you groan.

You felt like you were stuffed, Sunghoon sat up until your chests touched. He slowly began guiding your hips to bounce repeatedly at a set pace. The way you sink into him was addictive. Your hands move back to grip his hair, and you tug and pull with each bounce.

"You feel so good" you whisper into his ear, Hoon could feel his eyes roll to the back of his head from just hearing you talk dirty. He began to thrust into you, setting a faster pace. You moan at the feeling of his thick shaft rubbing against your silky walls and his tip practically kissing your cervix.

His nails began to dig into the skin of your ass as he continued to let you bounce in his lap, the sound of your moans and the creaking of the bed was all Sunghoon's ears could pick up on with his foggy and fucked out mind.

He was drunk on the feeling of you wrapped around his cock like this and it felt amazing. He whispered heavy 'please' for you to go harder as you rut yourself against his base.

A small ring of cum from your previous orgasm began to drip from his base as his thighs hit yours as you continued to fuck yourself harder on his cock. You feel hazy as you moan your nails dragging against the back of his shoulder.

You clenching down on him kept his mind set on doing one thing, and that was getting you both to your hopeful orgasm. Your hair bounced with every hard thrust he gave you hope that you both would cum soon. Your hand found its way to his hair grabbing at his brown tresses making his eyes water at the pleasure and pain

"Fuck, you look so damn good when you cry" you choked out along with a whimper as his tip practically abused your insides. The twist in your stomach made you realize that you were close. "I'm gonna cum" You had moaned, feeling your walls gripping around him tightly. Hoon began to thrust into you faster as he felt that same feeling bubbling up inside of him moaning and whining for release.

He couldn't help but let out a string of curses and moans "fuck" he groaned feeling how you squeezed down on him letting your orgasm wash over you.

The sweet moan you let out pushed him over the edge as he let his cum paint you white on the inside. He could feel you throbbing and his cum spilling past your walls. He couldn't help but thrust deeper into you fucking his cum deeper inside you.

Your hips are shaking with overstimulation. He couldn't even put together a coherent sentence. He just let you fuck him dumb. His whimpers fall on deaf ears as he lays his head against your chest in exhaustion giving small kisses to your skin.

Sunghoon felt like he just won the lottery, not only did he lose his virginity but he lasted longer than you did but only by a short lived 20 seconds, but he didn't care he was too high and honestly caught up in the moment to pay it any mind.

Slowly pulling your body away from his you were tempted to see his cum dripping from your thighs but exhaustion and the weight of your own body convincing enough to make you lay down next to Sunghoon and stare at your ceiling letting your actions and feelings sink in.

Then you realized that your record had still been playing making you close your eyes. "About our Monday lesson...my mom told me there was a summer festival for the country club she goes to and I wanted to bring you" he mumbled as he uses his little strength to turn over onto his side and drape his hand across your waist.

"No" you answer straight barely giving him a chance breath. "Why not? I thought maybe you'd want to meet my friends and y'know have fun" he mumbled as he clutches the sheets that covers your naked bodies. "Sunghoon it's nothing wrong with meeting your friends, it's just- isn't it weird bringing the poor girl to the rich people event?" You ask narrowing your eyes up at the ceiling seeing the poster of the movie star Sunghoon had brought up earlier.

"What? No. Why would that even bother you? Everyone's going to be having too much fun to care about how much money you have. Besides I'll pay for everything you get. And if someone gives you shit for living on the west side I promise I'll handle it ok?" He asks softly.

Does he really want you to go that badly? The answer is yes. The exposure Hoon has had this summer was starting to rub off on him, the trips to the west side and maybe even stopping at corner stores for snack with you, and now seeing how a family is supposed to treat each other and happily see each other, seeing how it wasn't as tight knit and well kept together as the suburban houses, mothers and their book clubs, teenagers who were even more close, and families that only stick together for image had it not been because everyone was so judgmental many families would be ripped apart by now.

"Ok, but as soon as some one asks me if I'm working staff I'm out" you joke poking at him arm, his laugh was like music to your ears. "Nobody is gonna think your working, you're too pretty to be a caterer" he says grabbing your your wrist guiding your hand into his hair. "You're too nice" you mumbled as you press more kisses to his lips.

You and Sunghoon kept the flirting, kissing, and banter going for a few more hours before the both of you realized everyone had gone home and your parents were asleep, helping Sunghoon sneak out the front door you kiss him goodnight and watch as he sneaks out of your front yard as the moon is to bear witness as he starts his car and drives off with biggest smirk on his face.

———————

You and Sunghoon had been putting great use of the landlines in your houses calling whenever you thought of each other, or had even the most minor questions to ask. A day apart felt almost empty without each other. Sunghoon decided to hang out with his friends and you would enjoy your day off with yours.

Having a day off and being home alone was like a blessing, both of your parents were at work and your grandma staying with a friend for the day, laying in your bed the sheets clean and your room neat yet just like the day before it was completely filled with smoke and the smell of weed.

"So the entire time you haven't been hanging out with us is because you've been fucking Park Sunghoon?" Mark's voice groveled as he watches Haechan blow out smoke. "Okay first of all, don't act like I didn't tell you that I wasn't giving him swimming lessons" you say pointedly "after he drowned at the pool" Haechan says not missing the main detail "right. And then you fucked him" Jaemin finally chimes in as he digs into a bag of very cheap and off brand Cheetos staining his fingers deep orange color along with crumbs all over his lips from the bean bag chair that sits on your floor.

"No! Why can't any of you prepubescent incels just be mature and let me tell the story" you groan falling back onto the pillow. "Fine, no need to be so hostile and rude" Haechan pouts as he rolls his eyes. "Since when did you know the definition of hostile? You can barely read the ingredients of a peanut butter jar" you snap.

Taking charge of diffusing the oncoming argument Mark just pats Haechan's arm in comfort knowing whatever comeback he had brewing in his head wouldn't even compete. "We've been hanging out, we kissed a few nights ago and hooked up, then yesterday we kind of went all the way. It's not that big of a deal" you say shrugging your shoulders ignoring the way your face heat up.

"So you don't have feelings for him?" Jaemin asks looking up from the large bag of chips he stole from your cabinet. "I haven't really thought that far into it. Sunghoon is a really nice guy, and I took his virginity but...doesn't it seem kind of-" you trailed off looking for the right words.

"Seem too good to be true? Rich guy from the suburbs wanting to date some girl who's broke giving up her paychecks to pay for college? And living on the worst side of town" Jaemin continues flatly as digging through his bag with low red eyes and a grin as he digs for a good chip. Making the room silent as they all look at the boy completely high off of his ass.

"What? Just because I don't always say the smartest shit doesn't mean I can't use common sense in the right moment" he meets the 3 pairs of eyes looking back at him equally as high. "Did you slip some shit that makes you smarter into that weed? Because I've never heard Jaemin be so logical" Mark mumbles to you making you snicker.

"Well he's not wrong, I just feel like there's so much more for him than me if I'm being honest. What guy from the east side would ever willingly come to the worst side of town just for a girl?" You ask looking at your three friends. "Park Sunghoon apparently. But listen honestly, if he hasn't given you a reason to give up so easily on his feelings then look into your feelings, if he's giving signs back to you that shows he's actually interested in you then take your chance" Mark says adjusting the beanie that covers his black hair.

"Since when did you dummies become so smart about dating advice?" You ask with a teasing grin you reach over messing with the tethered beanie on your friends head making him groan in faux annoyance. "You always give us dating advice why not return the favor?" Haechan says not daring to let his sarcastic and almost childish persona break.

"Yeah, remember that time you had to talk to a girl for Mark and one of YangYang's parties?" Jaemin recalls with a smirk "yeah that same party when you flirted with that guy wearing a really shitty costume wig" Mark snaps at the younger boy. "Maybe tequila and a few blunts isn't my best friend, but in my defense the dude was really pretty" Jaemin says with a shrug not even trying egg on an argument.

"Ten says thanks by the way, his ass did look pretty nice in those jeans" Haechan recalls making you snicker. "When did this go from talking about my love life to Ten being sexy with terrible Demi Moore extensions?" You say exasperated at the topic switch. "Well when is the next time you see him?" Jaemin asks as he finally lets the bag filled with practically crumbs sit on the floor. "Tomorrow...he wants me to meet his friends and go to some country club festival" you say awkwardly.

"Ew, make sure to hand out my number to the hot girl who cleans the pool, she gives me sexy eyes when I work at the snack bar" Jaemin says making you snort. "I know Christy, she has a lazy eye and I'm pretty sure her boyfriend works as a server" you snicker earning a dirty look from Jaemin.

"...anyways. Did you say yes?" Mark asks awkwardly as he picks at the dead skin around his nails that already forming scabs. "Yeah, I told him I'd go" you shrug although your expression didn't show much excitement. "Why do you look constipated?" Haechan asks with a scrunched nose.

"No I don't" you deny almost too fast you got whiplash "you do. It looks like you're gonna shit yourself. What's wrong?" Jaemin asks his eyes are finally filled with concern he's never seen you feet over something as small as a date with a guy.

"What if somebody talks about me because I live on the west side?" You ask hoping your tone didn't come off as scared or weak. "Who cares? You're going because you were invited. Nobody said you had to be rich and live in the suburbs with nice pretty houses and expensive cars to get in" Jaemin says feeling the heat of frustration warm up his body.

"You don't need to fit in with anybody, if he lets you get treated wrong then forget him. There are plenty of hot rich guys who would take you on dates" Mark says patting your shoulder. "Who knows maybe you'll get a sugar daddy" Haechan snickers making you shove him "I do not want to end up like those botched 50 year olds from the country club with a bunch of falling plastic in my face and a husband who looks like he's waiting to be put in a casket" you say almost gagging.

"Yeah whatever, those ladies are the same ones getting millions after their husband kicks the bucket" Haechan shrugs with a grin. "Seriously Hyuck I feel like absolutely nothing but dust swirls around behind your skull." You joke as the three boys surrounding you are nothing but giggles and cackles.

———————

When Monday settled you felt your stomach flutter and you had yet to decide if it was because you were genuinely excited or genuinely scared. Yet you worked your shift and could barely stare off into space without think of Sunghoon, it was like the mere sight of something made you think of him.

The 20 feet deep pool, the popsicles melting on the concrete, the pure heat, music playing from the boombox one one of the beach chairs, the smell of chlorine. Anything minor from the corner of your eyes had you thinking of Sunghoon that it almost made you cringe every time you caught yourself day dreaming.

When your shift ended you gladly locked up and went home, you took your time rummaging through your wardrobe for any semi decent clothes and only salvaging a dress you got for Easter family pictures. White, just a few inches above the knee and it fit you perfectly. You spent the rest of your time doing your hair and make up that your mom handed down to you that she no longer used.

And as time passed you couldn't help but give yourself the final touches every time you looked in the mirror or looking at the time. This wasn't your first date, to say you would have been to many would be a far stretch; saying you've attended a date and left happy, would have been a blatant lie.

Leaving your room you were quiet enough to sneak past the living room both of your parents swept away into their sleep after grueling work and long hours the TV still on and blaring. Closing and locking the door behind yourself you sit on your front porch step waiting for the familiar cherry red thunderbird. You could feel the summer nights were starting to become more cold as the months pass by.

Wrapping your arms around your shoulder hoping for the slightest inkling of body heat as some cars rhat usually stroll through the neighborhood drive through and park in their driveways or at the curb. The sight of your neighbor standing on her front porch smoking a cigarette makes you smile as the older woman looks over at you as well. "what are you doing here so late dressed like that?" She asks with a smirk, you were used to the nosiness of the woman and yet you seem to never get sick of answering any questions she has to ask.

"I'm going out with a friend, some festival going on at the country club" you say awkwardly nodding your head. The woman only makes a slight face you catch "country club? You got yourself an east side boy?" She laughs with a slight shake of her head. "It's not like that" you were quick to say although it was a lie completely, it was like that and she knew it. And it was on the top of your tongue to correct yourself but you just didn't understand why. The sound of breaks whistling at the curb of your house makes your eyes break from the sweet stare of your neighbor.

The car still running Sunghoon steps out of the drivers side walking through your grass to approach you, he looked too good to fathom his hair slick, and his clothes neat, jeans, a polo shirt that had little to no wrinkles and some white sneakers. It all fit him perfectly which earns a pretty smile out of you. "Hey, it's pretty cold you shouldn't have waited for me out here" he shakes his head with a small guilty look on his face.

"It's fine, I'm not that cold and I've only been out here maybe 5 minutes?" You says standing up trailing closer to him as he looks down at the floor he could see the goosebumps on your legs which makes him feel worse. Your hand trails to his jaw making him look up at you with soft eyes "I'm serious, I'm fine. Just turn the heat on in your car and I promise I'll be warm" you mumbled with a small grin at his concern.

"Okay" he whispered his eyes flutter over your face taking in all of your looks, you looked great, beautiful even more but he just couldn't gather the words for how breathtaking you truly looked. Instead leaning in to peck your lips "let's go, you look like your gonna start shivering any minute" he says grabbing your hand trailing you along behind him with firm steps you smile hardly remembering that your neighbor had watched your entire exchange.

Sunghoon hold the door open for you and even insists on buckling your seatbelt for you as you laugh at him. Sunghoon felt a shutter of relief when he had sat in the drivers seat and out of the corner of his eyes he could see a small grin on your face, you looked happy; and it made him feel happy.

"What are these festival things like?" You ask as you rub your hands together for some slight warmth as his car heats up. "First of all, call it a fest. You sound old calling it a festival, and it's basically like a carnival on the wide streets they have for golf carts. Uh- A lot of the kids our age ditch mid-way through to go drink at this lake" you says as he pulls away from the curb and goes his usual way towards the east side.

"The lake? What kind of preppy bullshit do they have you participating in?" You asked almost giggling at the thought of Sunghoon around a bunch of people listening to some bullshit sound track while drinking cheep booze. "And what do you and your friends do at parties?" He asks raising an eyebrow wearing a faux offended face.

"House parties, we drink, get high listen to good music and a bunch of shit that would most likely get us a night in jail" you smirk at the thought of having Sunghoon meet your friends. "That sounds...scary" he trails off with a small smile. "We have very different taste in parties I guess" you laugh.

The longer you remain in the car and look out of the windows the more you see how the areas change from garbage on the side of the street and abandoned house, to tidy houses with well kept lawns and nice cars driving down the road in the same direction.

You had realized you've never taken a close look at the East side, the houses were big of course, the white picket fences and rose bushes that were neatly planted and trimmed, the small bird baths and fountains along with huge driveways and sprinklers that coated the perfectly green glass. You were jealous, you wished that you could live in a neighborhood as beautiful and big as this one. But you were grateful for what you had and dared not to complain.

"What are you thinking about" Sunghoon asks as his eyes flicker from the road towards you, his hand settles on your thigh giving you a gentle squeeze. "Have you ever wished you weren't rich?" You ask pensively ripping your eyes away from the window and over to the brunette boy. "I wonder would life would be like. But wish I wasn't? I don't think I have no." He says as he tries to think of a time only coming up blank.

"Why?" He asks also becoming quite curious with the topic. "I don't know, I realized that I wish I wasn't low class but I've never heard someone who's rich say they've never wished to be rich" you shrug as your hand gently lays on top of Sunghoon's you rub comforting circles on his skin. "Doesn't everyone wish to be rich? I mean sure you live comfortably and get damn near whatever you want. But no one ever talks about how lonely it is" he trails off.

"Do you feel lonely?" You ask as you feel his hand grip yours tighter. "No, not anymore" he whispers. The car ride was so quiet and tense that Sunghoon almost drove past the entrance to get in. And when you made it to the parking lot of a packed Carnival you knew this date would be fun.

The both of you get out of the car and walk into the crowds of people, keeping close you could feel Sunghoon's large hand on your lower back as the both of you point and look around for things you want to do.

"How about we get on a rollercoaster first do we know what we're dealing with yeah?" He asks as he tears his eyes from the large ride that was spinning and carrying kids of all ages screaming their heads off. "Yeah, that sounds like fun" you smile up at him, pointing in the direction of the big ride.

"You wanna get on this ride? I mean if you're scared or anything we can get on something else" he says as you both walk closer "I'm sure" you nod with a smile on your lips watching as kids spill from the exit gate looking pale and sick.

"Really? Like you're 100% sure?" He asks his voice going up in pitch making you laugh "Hoon if you're scared to ride it then you don't have to get on it with me" you said laughing it up.

He scoffs as he straightens his posture "I'm not a kid y/n I can handle some stupid 5-minute ride that spins" he rolls his eyes dramatically making you smile "if you say so. But if you throw up on this ride I think we can get on the kiddy rides" you say with a big smile that has your eyes almost closing which has his heart fluttering.

"Whatever. But just know, I won't because I'm a man and I can handle a stupid ride" he says once again making you shake your head as the ride conductor opens the gate letting people on the ride and taking their tickets.

And as the two of you got on you see that only a few spots were left the both of you right beside each other as you press your backs to the cold rusting metal you push the bar below your waist close and grip onto the handles. "Is this safe? I mean there are no straps or anything" he says from beside you as he grips the metal bars that seemed to have chipped away red paint.

"We'll be moving too fast to even move hoon besides they have a bar holding down our waists, we're gonna be fine. And- if you want you can hold my hand until it's over" you say as you watch the worker close the gate to the ride taking the safety precautions before going into the control booth.

"I'm only taking your hand because you'll probably be scared. I don't need to hold your hand like a kid" he says scoffing as he repeatedly tries to put up a brave front while he was practically screaming his head off on the inside. His large hand grips yours over the bar turning his head to see you already looking at him with a fond smile.

"What?" He asks with a soft smile "you're scared" you coo making his jaw slack as he's ready to defend himself which makes you smile even wider as the dramatic and intense music of the ride plays and small lights flash. "It's about to start! Aren't you excited?!" You ask almost jumping with joy to see the nauseous look on his face.

"Sure" he nods as he closes his eyes and lets his head fall back he was stressed out and the ride hadn't even moved yet. His grip on your hand becomes tighter once he feels the ride begin to slowly move and he can hear the old gears and screws sputter. "Oh god" he whispers to himself.

He feels his heart flip at the sound of your screaming and laughing, and when he opens his eyes he can't help but smile and laugh at your wide eyes while the wind flows your hair wildly the yellow bright lights from the carnival rides around you lighting up your face. He laughs as he sees your head toss back in sheer delight, he realized the ride wasn't so bad after all.

And when it was over he was dizzy and lovesick. And as the both of you walk out of the small exit gate you stop eyeing all of the stands and trucks with food and games.Sunghoon could see how your eyes light up at the water guns game and it makes him smile. "Let's go play that game" he says grabbing your hand and gently tugging you along.

As the both of you stood in line you could see a pack of middle aged women eyeing you and Sunghoon making you step closer towards him. Your eye catches how one of them mumbled and you could only read lips so well. "You okay? We're up next and I was calling your name" Sunghoon says as he tilts his head down to see where your eyes had been latched to.

Once he does he sees the small glare the woman gives him and he almost gave one back if it weren't for the man behind the counter asking for 2 tickets from you. Handing them over Sunghoon completely let's the thought of the judgmental women go. "Im going to kick your ass at this game" you smirk at your attempt to rile him up which makes him look over at you with narrow eyes "and why is that?" He asks with a sharp tone.

"I was a bad ass kid, my friends had little pellet guns and we'd shoot them at cans and bottles, anything we could find. I accidentally put a pellet through this poor old woman's window. I felt so bad I knocked on her door and cried apologizing" you say with a grin at the memory. "You were a horrible child!" Sunghoon bursts into a fit of laughter.

Sunghoon caught whim of it as you both sit on the stools in front of the booth. The woman behind the booth smiles as she states the rules, counting down the both of you hearing the ring that urges you to start. And just as you presumed your aim was really good, hitting the target you saw the balloon over the top of it filling up with water.

Sunghoon shouts as he struggles to aim the water where he needs making you laugh as his balloon is barely filled with water. "If you want I can help you," you say loudly over the noises of people around you. "I can still win, I don't need your help" he sassed you which makes you giggle at his stubbornness.

When your balloon popped and a loud ringing sound to determine you had won making sunghoon laugh at how you shot out of your chair shouting in celebration. "I told you I'd win," you say as you pat his shoulders "whatever, I just let you win because you were so excited" he drags out his words as he rolls his eyes dramatically.

"Just admit you have shit aim, and I beat you fair and square," you say as you arch a brow at him he only shakes his head "we'll just have to see after this when I beat you at the next game," he says with a casual shrug only making you shake your head. You turn towards the woman at the stand smiling at your bickering.

"Choose whatever stuffed animal you want," she says as she points a wooden staff at the toys hung up along a small wire. "The big penguin" you smile as you point to it with shimmering eyes which makes Sunghoon's brows furrow as he remembers you looking at the teddy bear.

The woman handing it off to you as Sunghoon pays, you see him turn to look at you "I won you this" you hold it out for him to take wide eyes peering up at him for a reaction. "What? It's your prize, why don't you just keep it?" He asks shaking his head "because it reminded me of you so I wanted to give it to you" you smile. Most girls remember guys when they win them stuffed animals, but you- you won Sunghoon a stuffed animal and he'd cherish it with his whole heart.

"You didn't have to. I saw you looking at the teddy bear, so I thought you'd get it for yourself" he says as he gently takes the plushie from your hands holding it to his chest and squeezing it. "I felt bad, you've paid for everything we've done today. I just thought this was the least I could do" you say softly making him practically melt.

Everything about you made Sunghoon feel fuzzy. How your eyes crinkle when you laugh, how you had birthmarks and moles littering your pretty skin, how you looked breathtaking underneath the colorful lights all over the place, even after you got on a ride your hair tussled and you didn't even bother to fix it because regardless you still looked good.

"Hoon! Hey, everybody's going to the lake in about 10 or 20 minutes so hurry up and say hi to your parents we passed them on the way here" Jake says as he suddenly passes through the crowd and continues to shuffle pass only sparing you a mere glance. You didn't take it to heart and just decided that it was in your best interest to get Sunghoon close to his parents.

"Come on, I don't think you've met my dad or sister yet and there here tonight. So let's go say hi before we leave" he says patting your butt gently making your hand slap his away with a small yelp. The both of you bicker as Sunghoon tries to Navigate through the flocks of younger kids and parents while teenagers around your age were already packing up to head down to the lake a few blocks closer to the west side but still managed to have landed on the east side.

Eventually you and Sunghoon come to a halt in front of a bench in front of Sunghoon's mother and two unfamiliar faces. "We haven't seen you in a few hours where have you been?" Mrs. Park asks failing to look in your direction. "I was at Jay's with everyone else and then when I went home everybody was gone. So I got ready and I picked up Y/n" Sunghoon says lifting your interlinked hands.

"Y/n? You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend Hoon" his dad says with a grin almost too proud of his son as his eyes meets yours you couldn't help but smile back. "She's not my girlfriend...um we're really good friends. She gives me swimming lessons" He says almost shyly. Your eyes flicker towards his mother seeing an almost relieved expression wash over her face.

"Really? That great. Thank you for helping my son" Mr.Park says as he grins at you. "Y/n lives on the west side and she works for the community pool honey" Mrs.Park days and you don't have a clue why but you felt a bit ashamed. "She sounds very hard working" Mr. Park says not even relishing much on what side of town you reside on which made you smile.

"Thank you, i can only work harder with the right motivation" you say nodding firmly. You could feel his moms eyes burn holes through you. "Sorry, i completely forgot to introduce myself. I'm Seojun, Sunghoon's father and this is Sooyun his sister" he says wrapping an arm around his daughter who seemed to have no interest in the conversation.

"Its nice to finally meet you both Sunghoon has mentioned you both lots" you smile even though in Sunghoon's eyes he could tell they it was very empty. Sunghoon had never formed a bond with his dad and it was already too much to unpack as it is, but he knew you were too polite to direct any sense of anger toward his father for his own sake.

"Good things I hope" Mr.Park chuckles back as you open your mouth Sunghoon doesn't let whatever slither of attitude you were ready to slip as he interrupts "I just wanted to check in before we head over to the lake" Sunghoon says making you look at him almost flabbergasted at how honest he is with his parents. "The lake so soon? I thought you'd stay for a while longer to treat your sister to a few games" Mrs. Park says a sickeningly sweet voice with an undertone of bitterness.

"Sooyun will be fine she's old enough to walk around with her friends and play games" Sunghoon tries to reason, though if it weren't for the fact that you and him were on an unofficial date or the fact that his sister was an utter nightmare when their parents weren't around he would agree to be at least 30 minutes late to a kick back. But just not this time.

"I'll be fine alone. Plus all of my friends don't come to these things" Sooyun says with flat tone speaking for the first time since you've arrived. "It's not like they could afford to be here" Mrs.Park snaps under her breath making Sooyun roll her eyes at the implication that her friends were poor.

Biting back the snarky remarks running through your mind your eyes trail over Mrs.Park as you see a glimmering necklace around her neck that looked too expensive for you to even touch. "Your necklace is beautiful Mrs.Park how much did it cost?" You ask with a faux sweet tone that just feeds the older woman's ego. "It was a gift from my mother in law and it was about 3,000? Dollars" she says as her hands clutch the necklace as she eyes you up.

"Right....well we don't wanna keep Jake and everyone waiting on us so we'll get going" Sunghoon says as he rests his hand on your waist tugging you close. "Well we probably won't be home until pretty late since we're watching the fireworks so use the house key" Me.Park says as the both of you slowly step away. Sunghoon only nods his head as the both of you disappear through the crowd.

————————

Sunghoon wasn't really in the mood for the lake, the loud music, the drunk people and offers for drugs that made you think about shifting to an entirely different universe. The both of you sit in his car the parking lot was practically filled to the brim. And although Sunghoon would love for you to meet his friends maybe the lake wasn't the best place for that.

"How about we skip the party and go home?" Sunghoon asks as you readjusted yourself in your seat. "Home?" You ask looking at him with curious eyes. "My home, we could go late night swimming or we could just watch a movie in my room. Doesn't matter" he shrugs putting the keys into the ignition and hearing it roar to life.

The warm air blowing through the AC calms down the goosebumps on your skin. "I don't have a swimming suit though" you say the cluelessness in your tone makes Sunghoon smile at you "we don't need them" he says leaning over the middle console his large hand finding the juncture of your neck.

"It's up to you what we do, I don't mind anything" he mumbled as he rubs soothing circles into your skin with his thumb. "I'll let you know when I made up my mind" you whisper with a small nod. Sunghoon leans in for a soft kiss to your lips that you didn't hesitate to reciprocate. Feeling as the kiss gets more heated Sunghoon's hands trail into your hair making a mess of it that you didn't mind in the least.

Moaning into the kiss softly your hand wraps around his wrist as you pull away from the kiss slowly watch Sunghoon chase your lips. "We better leave now before I decide that we fuck in this parking lot" you huff with a smitten smile written all over your face. Sunghoon laughs pressing his forehead to yours "okay" he huffs nearly out of breath from the intense kiss he longed to share with you again.

Both of you sit in your seats tucked away in your seatbelts you clutched the plushie you had won in your hand as the radio plays. The drive back to Sunghoon's was significantly quiet yet soothing, without you even noticing how his hand settled on your thigh as he drives father into the east side where all the houses seem the same but you knew by heart exactly which house Sunghoon lived in, it was almost like a second home to you, walking in when no one was home but Sunghoon and immediately walking through his home to the back yard was second nature at this point.

As Sunghoon pulls into the driveway you feel a shift in the weather from slightly cold and windy to warm. Turning his car off the both of you get out. The rattling of Sunghoon's keys and your shoes making friction with his gravel driveway was all that could be heard. Unlocking the front door the houses is dark yet the only light peaking out was the large fish tank situated in the living room. The soft flow of water ringing loud enough for both of you to hear.

"I wanna swim" you say simply almost whispering as though you had to be quiet when you didn't. Nodding Sunghoon reaches for you hand in the dark, his fingers interlock with yours the dim light of the fish tank guiding the both of you through the living room and into the even darker kitchen where Sunghoon slides open the door you always struggle to.

The air nips at your skin sending a slight chill up your body but that doesn't keep you from removing your shoes and socks, Sunghoon was so enraptured with the way the reflection of the pool graces your pretty skin. Not daring to look away from you Sunghoon watches as you unzip the back of your dress letting it slip down your figure on to the concrete. The sound of rustling fabric was like utter back ground sounds as he continues to watch you.

This felt like something straight of Sunghoon's wet dreams as you unclip your bra letting fall down beside your dress. And what Sunghoon would do just to touch your body right now, trying extensively to not get hard from just watching you strip in front of him. Getting completely lost in his mind he misses the way you kick your panties onto of your discarded dress and slowly trail towards the stairs that descends straight into the warm water of the pool.

Your eyes finally meet Sunghoon's piercing gaze with the most innocent look on your face. "Are you not coming?" You ask as you let yourself soak into the water the deeper you step in. The water sloshing around your naked body brings Sunghoon back down to earth as he opens his mouth to say something yet not trusting his own voice he nods dreamily just barely blinking warning a soft smile from you.

Kicking off his shoes he eagerly strips off his shirt unbuckles the belt looped in his pants letting it clank to the ground without a second thought he strips of his pants. Coming to an internal conflict of if he could fully strip down to nothing like you or would that have made you uncomfortable.

From the corner of his eye Sunghoon sees you peaking over the edge of the pool leaning your arms against the concrete tucking your head against them. "What are you doing?" You ask looking up at him with lust hungry eyes. "I don't know if I should take these off or not- I don't want to make you uncomfortable" he says awkwardly scratching at the back of his neck.

"You wouldn't make me uncomfortable, we've already seen each other naked, remember?" You say as you let out a breathy giggle that almost makes Sunghoon visibly shutter. "Yeah- right" he says shyly as you shift away from the edge, drifting off into the middle of the pool kicking your feet as you watch Sunghoon strip out of his last piece of clothing before he flushed a deep shade of red as he fidgets his way towards the pool.

Stepping slowly into the warm water until he's waist deep Sunghoon watches as you were farther from him than he'd like you to be. But Sunghoon knew you weren't too far away a few inches from being in the deep end and yet your presence alone made him press his luck. Shifting closer with slow steps Sunghoon was now shoulder length deep into the pool the both of you an arms length away.

Not shying away in the slightest you decided to close the gap, your arms wrap around his neck as your naked chest presses against his. "Hi" you whisper with a small grin. Sunghoon can't help but to smirk at you "hi, did you have fun?" His pupils burning over your figure as he questions you. He pined for your answer to be positive, he'd hate for what felt like a first date to end up being terrible on your end when all night you had made him felt fuzzy, shy, and giggly all over.

"Yeah I did, you?" You ask, Sunghoon couldn't explain the feeling he had in his chest looking down at your bare wet figure pressed against his with those pretty doe eyes flickering to search his face for a hint of hesitation. But that's just when he knew, he felt it, it's exactly how it was described in books, like how your mom told him. It all just fell into place, he felt like the world came crashing in on him in seconds.

Nodding his head in a daze his lips parting as his eyes flutter down towards your lips, his long eyelashes tickling his skin every time he blinks hoping not to miss a single feature of your face. As many times as Sunghoon has seen you; at your job, at school, in your bed, during sex, nodding off into a sleepy daze, bored, pouting, upset, he could never get over just how beautiful you looked.

No relapse in judgement could take away just how much even the slightest flutter in your eyelashes could make his heart shutter a breath of relief and his stomach twist with what felt like butterflies going crazy in his stomach. It just couldn't be helped, because Sunghoon bared feelings deep in his chest that it almost hurt to know that you weren't official nor have you talked about labels. But he wanted you beyond just as a sexual partner. He wanted you as his girlfriend, his lover, his best friend, his rock. His.

"You okay? Your going blank on me hoon" you mumbled feeling his warm breath Sunghoon doesn't answer as he closes the gap between your faces, pressing his soft lips against yours, almost immediately reacting your fingers card through his hair tugging softly at the roots. Groaning against your lips Sunghoon slowly guides your back towards the tiled walls hearing the water trickle around you both at the sudden movements you make.

Lifting your leg against his hip makes you gasp. Finally catching your breath you meet his gaze "you sure we should be doing this out here?" You ask just above a whisper. "It only matters if you want to, I don't mind. I could do you in the kitchen, the living room, in the hallways, the bathroom. You pick" his voice rumbles making your quiver at the sudden surge of confidence in his voice.

You don't know where the sudden domineering Sunghoon came from but you liked it. "Here. I wanna do it here" you say breathily as you press your lips to his so eager to kiss him once more. The trickling sound of water and your lips messily smacking against each others filled your ears as you grow needy for friction regardless of being waist deep in water you could feel slick begin to build in between your folds.

The warmth becoming a sticky mess that began to make you rut your hips against him. The feeling of his cock making friction with your clit makes you moan softly into the kiss as your teeth and tongues thrash. The passion was overwhelming yet an understatement, the both of you so eager to feel each other you had no idea how much longer kissing and grinding into each other would get you off.

"Fuck, I wanna feel you so bad" Sunghoon groans as his tongue swipes against yours utterly in love with the way you taste sweet and minty. "Please" you whisper you couldn't even put into words what you wanted to do to him yet he found out exactly what he wanted to do with you.

His fingers slide between your thighs as the pads rub between your folds making you shiver at the pleasure. Biting your lip you couldn't decide wether to look up at him or where his hands had been. His middle finger rubbing against your entrance makes you let out a low groan as he slowly pushes inside of you.

Sunghoon moans at the feeling of you; warm and wet wrapped around his finger. Though you were wet he couldn't deny how easy it was to slip inside you. "So fucking messy" he grumbled "please make me cum" you whimpered completely disregarding how desperate you sound your hands settle on his shoulder as your nails dig into his soft skin.

Biting his bottom lip Sunghoon begins to thrust his digits into you with a pattern that has you grinding your hips into his hand. Adding another finger as the intensity of pleasure builds your moans become less breathy and more louder. The sound of the water rippling around Sunghoon's arm between your thighs and the motions building up pace makes you grip the hair on the base of his neck.

you breathily moaned his name and that made him piston his fingers in and out of you faster and curling them to hit your g-spot. the beginning of your orgasm beginning to build deep in your stomach. "your fingers feel so good, fuck," you moan. He smiles at you, beginning to curl his fingers instead. "fuck" you gasp. "keep doing that, oh god," you moan, gripping his arm as you try rolling your hips. He smirks at you, moving them slightly faster in a curling motion.

Barely keeping your eyes open at the point as they roll back the familiar feeling you get every time you have sex with Sunghoon begin building in the pit of your stomach "your gonna make me cum" you whine your jaw slacks as you feel fuzzy, your hips as uncomfortable at this point. "Do it, all over my fingers" he moans almost as breathless as you are driven by your moans as the water around you splashes rapidly the both of you too wrapped up in the pleasure to even care.

Your head dropping to his shoulder the coil in your stomach snapping as you release, a hoarse moan rips through your throat as you feel almost high on the pleasure his hands never stop their pace until your thighs shake and you hiss at the pain of overstimulation. Your hand grips his wrist begging for him to give you a break; complying Sunghoon slowly pulls out and let's you catch your breath watching you relax against him as your body slowly becomes relaxed.

Kissing his shoulder and neck Sunghoon smiles faintly pulling at the back of your neck for the both of you to become face to face your eyes clash with a look you had never seen before. All too unfamiliar needy but for sex it was a completely unexplored feeling and you aren't too sure if it's the way his hair sexily falls fast it's once slick back style or the way his pupils are blown out but either way you couldn't get enough of it.

His lips catch yours roughly, his tongue now licking a stripe on your bottom lip begging for access, parting your lips, his tongue immediately brushing against yours, mixing your saliva. As you suck on his tongue the remnants of mint on his tongue. His hand pulling at your thigh for you to now be carried like a fucking feather.

Your legs wrapped around his waist you feel his dick poking at your thigh. With utterly no space between the both of you it felt like your own personal wet dream with your lips latched onto each other as your tangled in each others limbs with no intention to break apart any time soon. Hiking you up high against his waist you moan at the feeling of him pressing his tip against your folds groaning at the warm and wet feeling.

Your back pressing against the harsh tile on your skin leaving a slippery texture on your back you would almost be sick at the feeling but pay no mind as your too caught up in wanting to return the favor to even care. Kissing the corner of his lips you trail to his neck sucking harshly on soft skin pushing in past your entrance the pressure of him filling you up begins as you both let out soft moans not caring how late or even where you're located for another fact.

His hands move to either side of your thighs as he looks down on you with complete adoration in his eyes. Pushing deeper inside you he lets out a moan "fuck you feel so good" he says as he catches his bottom lip in between his teeth.

"You're so big" you slur seeing how good he filled you up to the brim your arms wrap around his neck your foreheads pressed together as you watch him begin to slowly move. Sunghoon couldn't get enough of the sight as his cock disappeared inside your Pussy.

His cock buried deep inside you that you moan and dig crescent shaped dents into his skin. set a pace for bouncing in his lap. The feeling of your velvety walls tightening around making him choke back a moan.

"Oh- god" you whisper shakily. His hands holding onto your hips guiding a pace, the soft sound of skin slapping with your small moans could be heard throughout the room.

You looked so good with your chest bouncing and your hair all messy. You looked good with a small sheen of sweat on your skin and your makeup smeared, he was addicted to the sight. The droplets of water that splash your skin and race back down onto his looks almost addictive under the moonlight.

Sunghoon; eager to let his load off inside you, holds your thighs stopping you from bouncing any longer and begins to thrust his hips into you. The feeling of his tip pushing at your cervix.

His hips piston into you as your thighs and ass jiggle at the repetitive thrusts "right there!" You moan as you feel him pounding in a certain part of your walls. You tighten around him as your essence forms a white ring around the base of his dick.

"Just like that! I just want you to come inside me" you babble mindlessly as his stomach churns at the words spewing out. Letting one of your thighs drop back to the floor carrying half your weight Sunghoon piston's his hips harder into you at your dirty words.

"Yeah? Want me to fill you up with my cum?" he groans as the knot in your stomach begins to tighten and Sunghoon's death grip on the fat of your thigh almost sends you over the edge if it wasn't for how hard he was pounding you.

You nod eagerly as you begin to alternate between grinding and sitting still, your nails drag against his back leaving behind a red and irritated trail- yet he didn't mind it as it pushed him closer to his orgasm.

Leaning into him , your moans against each other's lips push you closer and closer. Your back is arching as you move faster wanting to cum so badly "keep going. Don't stop" he groaned, letting his head fall back. The splashing of the water and the sound of your wet skin smacking mf was making Sunghoon dizzy, he had no idea he could have this type of effect.

His hair messily pushed against his forehead as it was covered in sweat and water as his eyes rolled back "god I'm gonna cum" he said breathily "I want you to look at me when you cum" He says opening his eyes looking up at you.

You nod as you let your moans fall past your lips, the sensation building more and more until it became to overwhelming you gasp "I'm gonna cum" you whine as your hips pound more hastily into him, his moans mixed with yours as he drowned in the feeling of your walls spasming around him pushing him completely over the edge.

"Fuck" he groaned as warm spurts of cum filled you, grinding down and letting the cum spill past your walls and down the base of his cock you hum as your content with your orgasm. Humming at the warm feeling you now realize you've basically contaminated the entire pool with sweat and cum and slick making you visibly shutter.

"You okay?" Sunghoon asks groggily making you shake your head "we got the pool dirty" you mumble against his skin feeling bad now for having sex in his families pool. "It's okay, I'll clean it in the morning and nobody will know alright?" He says hoping to clear your guilty conscience. "Okay. Can we...get out now this actually starts to feel gross now" you groan as the smell of sex and chlorine comes in waves. Only nodding his head you and Sunghoon untangle from each other deciding to get out of the pool and collect your clothing.

Making it back in the house and into the bathroom to share a bath almost so intimate washing each others bodies with lingering touches and small kisses. The intimate atmosphere drags on until the both of you lay in bed the darkness engulfing Sunghoon's bedroom as you both slipped under the sheets giggling at the conversation you two couldn't directly keep a solid topic for. Mumbling into each others skin you both fall asleep not even waiting for anyone to come home.

Later in the night Sunghoon's shuffling wakes you up out of your sleep as his elbow digs into your rib cage awkwardly making you cringe. Pulling away you look at the big red numbers on the digital clock burning your eyes as you see it was now well past midnight making you panic.

Shaking Sunghoon's arm "hoon... get up I have work in the morning" you mumbled in a panicked voice. He was like dead weight his hands tightening against the fabric of his shirt on your body. "Hoon get up I have to go home" you wriggle becoming more frustrated with the sleeping boy. Managing to escape from his heavy grasp slipping back into the bathroom just down the hall of his bed room deciding to be quiet in case someone decided to wake up.

Making it back into his room you see the lamp in his bedroom on as he waits for you on the edge of his bed fighting sleep. "What are you doing?" He asks grumbling almost pouty that you were gone for so long "I went to the bathroom, but hoon I have to go home I have work early" you whisper making Sunghoon shake his head. "Why can't I just drop you off in the morning? It's so late" he says grumpily.

"You're forgetting the part where my parents think I'm home right now" you say as of it's the most obvious fact in the world. Sunghoon only groans as he drags himself out of the sheets to find his sweat pants that had been tossed to the floor and his t-Shirt that had been hanging over his one shoulder.

You could only smile softly at how messy Sunghoon slept yet he some how still manages to wake up looking as perfect as he does. He ensures that you make it home and go through the backyard door that's always unlocked before going home and falling back into a comforting silence until sunlight seeps through the curtains.

——————

The hard knocking on Sunghoon's bedroom door wakes him slightly until the hoarse voice of his mother has his brows pinching together. "Sunghoon! Have you seen my necklace? I've been looking for it all morning" Mrs.Parks Voice is worried and it feels like Sunghoon's head had been splashed in cold water. "No. Have you checked between the slot of your dresser and the metal the holds your jewelry?" He asks his voice still deep and scratchy.

"Of course it would've been the first place I looked, I even checked behind the dressed. I remember putting it back last night Sunghoon I'm not crazy" Mrs.Park sounds stressed and it makes Sunghoon altogether get out of bed to finally face the look on his mothers face.

He rubs at the corner of his eyes. "Mom, I'm gonna help you look in the places you have and haven't" before closing the door and changing into more suitable clothes.

The longer it take Sunghoon to find the necklace the more fussy he becomes trying to find any alternatives as to why and how his mom could misplace such a pretty necklace that was so expensive and dead to her. "Hoon, did you have anyone over last night?" Mrs Park asks as she eyes the boy who leans face down against the carpeted walk in closet trying to see if it called under Meath her dresser of jewelry.

"Y/n for a couple of hours why?" He asks who h makes Mrs.Park scoff. Of course it was you, it's always you. Mrs.Park knows about girls like you from the west side. Asking for money, smoking and drinking, sinking your claws into poor boys like Sunghoon to ruin themselves beyond repair.

"Before she left did you leave her alone?"

Sunghoon's throat ran dry, he felt like he could throw up any second. "What time did you come home?" Sunghoon asks coldly remembering waking up around 2AM just to get you home safely "midnight" she says as she watched Sunghoon sit up on his knees with a blank expression. "We fell asleep and I woke up and she was gone for a few minutes. After she came back I took her home" Sunghoon says his memory still foggy from the events after sex.

Mrs.Park bitterly laughs "fucking thief" her tongue pokes her cheek as she presumes right once again that you were no good along. "Call her and get my necklace back. I don't need her selling it to some shop on the west side for some quick change" She snarks and Sunghoon felt his blood boil.

His skin was prickling with anger his neck and and ears were red he couldn't help the immediate reaction he felt so sick. His heart wrenched. He couldn't explain it but it felt like he was going to cry. Sunghoon wobbledonot his feet and looks at his mom hoping the tight feeling in his throat and the stinging in his eyes wouldn't fester any further around his mom he only complies with the request with a nod before walking to his bedroom.

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And so he waited, he waited until your shift was over. He cleaned his room, the pool, the bathroom. He tried to rid himself of the thought of you as the only question running through his mind was 'how could you?' How could you steal from his mom? How could you pretend like you didn't in front of his face? How could you use him like that?

It was wearing him down like a ton of bricks but he anticipated your arrival when his house was empty and you had just got off your shift. Hitching a ride from Mark who had spent the day at the pool with you as it was a slow day for you at the pool. When you get out of the car you have a smile on your face watching as the blue worn out BMW pulls off with the base vibrating the entire exterior.

Surprised to see Sunghoon on the front porch waiting for you the look on his face makes yours shift nervously. Regardless you step onto the front porch leaning in you attempt to press a kiss to his lips only landing on his cheek as he moves away his expression still stone cold. "Hey...what's the matter?" You whisper your mood dampening at the bitter look on his face.

"You stole from me" he says plainly almost giving you whiplash. "Excuse me?" You ask backing away from standing on the gravel pathway that leads to his house from the front gate and sidewalk. "My moms necklace. Last night you complimented it, and came back here with me. You slept with me and did all of these things with me knowing that at the end of the night you were just going to fucking steal from me" he says harshly.

You feel your face heat up with confusion written all over your expression "What the fuck are you talking about? What necklace? Sunghoon I didn't steal shit from you I already told you I don't steal" you feel your voice becoming harsher at the accusations he tossed at you. "So you disappear while I'm sleep and then all of sudden you come back demanding to go home. I'm not fucking stupid it all just points to you Y/n" he says finally standing to his feet.

"Are you fucking joking?! Please tell me you are Sunghoon and that necklace is in your moms bedroom because if it's not and your being serious right now then we're done" you say feeling emotions begin to surface as you point shakily at his front door. Sunghoon felt like he was back at the community pool where you first met like he wanted to cry, annoyed, scared his eyes began to sting once more.

"I'm not. You even complimented her on it. The least you could now that your caught is give it back unless your living up to your west side reputation. Surrounded by thief's so you live like one? I knew you didn't have a lot of money but- fuck if you were that desperate you could've said something" he snaps and just like that he was back in the deep end.

Clawing his way back to the surface to feel the warm sun on skin again to breath the fresh air. Right now he was almost at rock bottom and the look on your face read with disbelief and anger. "I didn't steal your moms necklace. I don't need it nor do I want it. Every dollar I've ever made I worked for and you couldn't say the same but since we're bringing up lying let's not forget when you said all rich people aren't douche bags but I see you just say anything to feel like less of a spoiled fucking brat" you spat the feeling of a sob ready to wrack through your chest.

You refused to let him see you cry, not when he had thrown how much money you earn in your face. "You don't get to act like the victim! You stole from my house!" Sunghoon says his voice cracks with pure anger and it sends you over the edge. "You know what?we're done. But once you find that necklace I hope it rusts and turns your moms skin green because I never fucking wanted it in the first place. Trust me Sunghoon you won't have to worry about anything else going missing in your big fancy fucking house ever again because I will never step near it again" your voice is hoarse as you step backwards and turn on your heel now regretting letting Mark leave without you.

"There was no we" he spats realizing he was not wining the argument "sleeping with you was a fucking mistake but I guess west side girls will do anything for money. My mom never lied"he scoffs. He doesn't mean it, not a single word yet he does it to get under you skin when knows later that's it's truly over he sounds so pretentious and privileged.

Then remember the heavy bag on your shoulder filled with his clothes you cleaned. Stopping in your tracks you feel Sunghoon's eyes burn through your figure. Pulling it off your shoulder you snatch open the zipper tugging out the pile of fabric in the bag and toss them at the tall boy. "Don't worry about the clothes you gave me because at least I'm returning the things I did take" You mutter hearing the fabric fall to the concrete.

You waste no time turning back around not sparing a second glance at him before storming out of his yard no longer trying to fight the silent tears or anger that slip down your face as you walk the way that you knew would usually get you out of the east side and the nearest route back home.

Everything around you felt like a stuffy blur as tears streak your face, rubbing your eyes raw with the back of your hands each time you felt tears streak at the corner of your eyes until it became sore. The woke home was filled with soft cries, you felt like you had just broken up with Sunghoon when the two of you weren't even dating. Your chest hurt and you just felt the need to shatter something into the same amount of prices your heart had shattered.

The second you came home to an empty house you stomp up the steps to your bedroom slamming the door shut behind you letting it echo. You could feel the heat of your body go beyond any level you've felt before as your tears become harder to control. Your eyes landing on the large book case of music CD's and albums without a second thought you let a scream ripple through your throat as you rip each and every last one of the cases from the shelf dropping the floor you can hear some of them cracking and shattering at the unbraced impact with the hard floor.

You were angry and annoyed but most of all you were heart broken. You wanted to punch Sunghoon in his face for not believing you, you wanted to tell at him for making you feel this way and yet all you can do is curl into a ball on your floor not even making it to your bed. Surrounded by broken plastic you can't even feeling the pain in your fingers at the cuts you've gotten from breaking apart plastic so hardly and tossing them at your walls.

You breathe heavily as tears drip down the side of your face into a depressing puddle. Huffing away until your sleep the floor ultimately was not too uncomfortable to sleep in your own mess as the warm sticky blood on your fingers dry into scabs and your tears dry away. You couldn't bare to stay awake the entire day and relive your anger and heart break.

——————

"Let me get this straight... you accused her of stealing your moms necklace and the next day your sister came home with it" Jay says with a deep look of concentration on his face Sunghoon was distraught he had made what seems like the worlds dumbest fucking mistake in his eyes "yes" he says tiredly rubbing his eyes of the tears he had been letting slip past his eyelashes all day.

He knew if anybody would have good advice it would be Jay, he was his rock and anytime Sunghoon needed help without a doubt he'd turn to Jay for the right direction he should go in. "What made you doubt her?" He asks and the question almost stuns Sunghoon.

"I don't know... for a while I just had a feeling it was too good to be true and I didn't want to think she did but then I couldn't help but think she did. My mom just- she had a solid argument" he says but Jay wasn't content with his answer.

"I'm going to be completely honest with you right now. I think you were just searching for a reason to end it, you like her and you've never gone beyond hook ups and the first time you did you were happy but you don't know if the feelings are returned so you're scared" Jay says his voice is stern and it doesn't come as a complete shock. "I never said I had feelings for her Jay" Sunghoon says under his breath making Jay scoff.

"You don't have to say it, it's fucking obvious and in everyone's face. The last few times we've hung out you couldn't shut up about her; you were like a puppy who lost it's owner and would do anything to get back to them once again it's fucking sick." Jay says not toning down the attitude. "And from the sounds of it your mom just doesn't like her. She's a control freak she doesn't want anyone or anything like a girl who doesn't live up to her standards to be who your slumming it with her son and ruining the image she took so long to build of your family" he points out.

"She saw an opportunity to tear her from your grip and she did. You were just dumb enough to let your mom of all people cloud your judgement on someone you've been spending 2 months with" Jay pats Sunghoon's leg as they both sit on the edge of the pool at country club Sunghoon couldn't bare to go to the community pool when he knew you'd be there.

"I just don't want to let her down. All these years I've been following whatever my mom and dad want. My moms never been wrong with her choices so I just thought how could she be wrong about this one?" He questions himself. Sunghoon thinks back to when the both of you talked at the pool and you had called him a mama's boy, and now he heard it in his own thoughts and feelings.

"Sooner or later Sunghoon you're going to have to stop depending on your parents to make choices for you. Right now, is one of those times. Your mom doesn't get to pick and choose who you do and don't date especially when I'd damn near say you're in love with y/n" Jay says and it makes Sunghoon's stomach flutter. Groaning he lets his hands rake through his hair as he thinks deeply.

"Talk to her, apologize and make sure she knows how sorry you are" Jay says patting Hoon's shoulder giving him minimum comfort. Sunghoon knew this was tough love and that Jay couldn't do anything for Sunghoon even if he really wished he could. The silence was overbearing. "I meant right now Sunghoon. Get up and go apologize the fucking sun is gonna go down soon and who knows if she'll be at work by the time you realize it" Jay snaps making Sunghoon let out a mantra of complaints.

—————

The pool was empty yet the cleaning supplies had still been set out. Sunghoon could see a trail of wet foot prints lead into the staff building making his eyes narrow. The sound of rumbling and hushed talking makes Sunghoon walk slowly yet quietly towards the blue painted building.

The door was shut and from what Sunghoon could make out past the old rusted door what sounded to be grunts and muffled moans, the sticky sound of skin slapping makes Sunghoon sick to his stomach. You cleaned up after hours every week, was this what you were doing the entire time lessons took place at his house?

Taking guys just like him and fucking them in the staff building. Just the thought makes his skin crawl, Sunghoon didn't even know if he could even be angry with you after he broke off whatever the two of you were. But he thought you felt the same, the longing touches, the kisses, the flirting, meeting each others parents. You took his virginity and left with his heart, now your were back to fucking other people after 2 days?

Sunghoon feels it again he's drowning in his feelings once more, his tears fester and build until they blur his line of sight he couldn't even put into words how devastated he was. It hurt when the two of you were arguing face to face, but moving past the anger and finally knowing the truth Sunghoon was ready to throw his pride away completely and beg for forgiveness.

But it seemed like you had already moved on with life and would be just fine. Sunghoon's feet drag across the concrete not paying attention to anything, everything seemed so blurred and his body felt heavy. Sunghoon barely manages to drag himself back to the parking lot and open his door before tossing himself into the seat letting his tears finally release down onto his warm cheeks.

He felt more angry than anything, his hand slams against the middle console, then another hit to the steering wheel before his hits have less aim and more power. "Fuck!" He shouts the empty parking lot with no one to witness his meltdown. Sunghoon let's his head fall into his lap as curls up letting his tears deep through the Jean material of his pants.

Silently letting himself cry before pulling himself together. Wiping his face he looks in the rear view hoping his eyes weren't to red or puffy nor his nose. He knew it wouldn't just take Jay for him figure out what to do he had to go Sunoo the boy with a soft smile and a kind heart was all he needed in his moment of disparity.

When he's met face to face with the boys soft features and worried eyes he can't help but choke out a sob past the fake smile he tried to front for the younger boy. Barreling him into a tight hug Sunoo doesn't ask him anything he just guides him to his room and waits for him to talk. When Sunghoon finally calms himself into a tired and stuffy mood he opens up to Sunoo from the very beginning up until he had left the pool.

And when Sunghoon decides it best to go Sunoo dials Jay's number and decides to let him take the next step in action because Sunoo is the last to be confrontational especially about his friends. But when he spills his guts to Jay the displeased tone coming from the other line makes Sunoo realize that this entire conversation would end with a pissed of Jay, a heart broken Sunghoon, and a clueless y/n.

—————

The next morning when 12PM hits Jay steps out his car with a deadpanned expression and a mission. He was beyond seething with you, moving on from Sunghoon so easily after making him fall hard. Jay wasn't going for it in the least, something had to give. And when he approaches the lifeguard tower to see you sitting atop looking like death but you in the ass he doesn't know how to react.

When he sees your finally looking at him you roll your eyes hoping that since he approached he'd speak first but you guessed wrong. "Can I help you?" You ask, your voice sounded utterly scratchy. "Did he call you? Show up to your house or anything?" Jay asks flatly. "What are you talking about?" You ask confused "Sunghoon, because he showed up here after your shift and he didn't say anything to me after" Jay explains making you shake your head.

"I wasn't here yesterday I had someone else fill my shift while i was out sick. He didn't come to my house and he didn't call me. But I don't really think he needs a reason anymore since he thinks I'm west side trash who steals shit" he spat the familiar scenario leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. "So he never apologized like I told him to?" Jay asks becoming almost fed up with Sunghoon himself.

"Apologize for? Calling me a thief? Or bringing up how much money I have?" You ask still biting back a few tantalizing and anger driven questions yourself. You didn't entirely blame Sunghoon for being angry about the necklace missing, but you'd never even come close to knowing why exactly he had thought you had stolen it. "All of it. Listen yesterday Sunghoon told me why he thought it was you and I don't know if it's my business to tell. But I just really think you should call him and let him know your willing to hear his side of the story and his apology" Jay explains calmly which makes your eyebrow twitch.

"When did I say I was willing to listen? I know you want what's best for your friend and you may only know me through him but I already told Sunghoon it was done, he drew that line himself and I'm not stepping over it for the sake of his guilty conscience" you say flatly making Jay sigh. "He's really fucking stupid and he realized he was wrong, but if you'd just listen to him I promise you're not going to regret it" he says his voice is eager.

You poke your tongue in your cheek, the past few days you've convinced yourself to wipe your memory of Sunghoon changing your bed sheets, putting all your tapes, CD's and records in a large box taped under Meath your bed inside a box along with any other thing you've conveniently kept as a memory latching on to the name park Sunghoon like a leach to your brain cells.

But now that you could see how desperate Jay was to get the two of you to talk; Park Jeongsong the calm and mature friend who had a plan, solution, and action for everything was eager for you talk to his friend. "It better be good, because if he gives me some half-ass apology you owe me" you sigh.

"Okay- that's fair. When can you see him?" Jay says all too happy for his best friends sake. "Tell him to meet me here after my shift, he knows where I'll be at" you say your tone showing no sign of emotions, you'd feel anxiety creep on you by the time you're face to face with the brunette.

————-

You were more than nervous, your hands were shaky and your breathing is slightly heavier. All emotions that had hit you the way that they did came suddenly with no warning. Your entire shift you had dreaded each time you checked a clock and counted down the minutes, hours and seconds in your head. As time blurred past you were finally alone, sitting near the edge of the pool your feet dipped into the slightly cold water.

The smell of chlorine and the orange hues kissing your skin. It all felt like the first day of lessons with Sunghoon and it made you sad. The sudden rattling of the worn out gate screeching open against the concrete you didn't have to look to know. Your eyes trained on water as it pumps out of the filter the soft sound of it trickling brought faux comfort.

The soft pattern of she's making friction with wet concrete comes closer and closer making your heart speed up. The smell of cherry popsicles and weed becomes more apparent as Sunghoon sits besides you crossing his legs and tucking them away from the water.

Silence has never been more overbearing and loud enough to fill the air with tension. Your mouth opens to speak but your voice dies in your throat not knowing how to even remotely start the conversation. You felt like a new born watching their parents make you speak your first words, anything; a sound, a word or letter...something. But apparently Sunghoon beat you to it.

"I'm sorry for not believing you, and talking about the way you live. My parents made choices for me and they rubbed off me in ways I didn't even realize. The day after we got into that fight- my sister came home with necklace in her hand. She had taken it while my mom was drunk so she could show off to her friends. And I felt like shit the minute I saw her with it" he says shakily Sunghoon couldn't trust his voice but if he wanted to right his wrongs he'd have to put a small pitch of bass in it.

"Did you think I stole or did somebody else tell you that?" You ask feeling your face heat up with an emotion you couldn't name. "My mom, I don't know why I never saw it but I could just tell the moment your name came out of my mouth she finally had a real reason to hate you. Did you know my mom disliked you?" Sunghoon asks with narrow eyes finally letting them look at you for the first time in what feels like forever.

"I knew she didn't like me. All the sneaky shit and comments she makes when you're not around, I just brushed it off" you say shrugging not being able to meet the boys eyes that are now softened. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asks under his breath "Because I know you Sunghoon. Well enough to say that you're a mama's boy, you would do anything to please her, even if that means breaking somebody's heart because she is the one who's always behind you watching you make those mistakes and waiting to point them out, ready for her family to look like perfection and you want to be that" you say finally categorizing your current state.

"I broke you heart? I thought you were over me, when I came to the pool yesterday I heard you closing up shift in the staff building having sex" Sunghoon says his hands tightening into fists hating the feeling that was in his chest just thinking about you with someone else. "I wasn't here yesterday, I felt like shit so I just stayed home the entire day" you whispered looking down at your nails picking at the nail polish as a way to keep yourself from looking at him with that frown on your face.

"I panicked" Sunghoon whispers feeling his eyes sting with tears. "I'm so used to be setting up on dates, and my parents trying to get me a nice rich girl. I've never felt this ever. Not with any girl I've just went down on, or hung out with at the pool, not even those girls at the country clubs who stare. It all just felt so real like how your mom described it. And every time you came around the feeling just got so much bigger than me- I just didn't know what to do. So when you told it was done I felt lonely" he said letting his tears flow freely.

You remembered the conversation you had with Sunghoon in his car and it made your heart ache. "I never really realized how much I depended on you to fill my schedule that in just these 2 days alone I've done nothing but cry and pout to my friends about you" he sniffled making your throat feel like it was growing a lump and your cheeks heated up.

"I'm sorry I doubted you, and I should've believed you when you told me. It just felt too..." he trailed off making you huff a laugh as your own tears streak down your cheeks and stain your shorts. "Too good to be true. That's what I told my friends the day before the fest, some rich guy catching feelings for west side trash. It was funny in the moment but after a while I started to believe it you know? But the way I felt about you just wouldn't let me give you up" you shake your head, rubbing the creases building up between your eyebrows.

"You're not- You're not trash. Your the girl who saved my life, who gave me swimming lessons and risked her job for me, your the girl who took my virginity, your the girl that I want to be with and I'm done letting other people pick who I'm with because I know I want to be with you" he says his breath getting caught in his throat his statement coming out like word vomit.

"I don't forgive you" you shake your head. "Not yet, if you really mean all that then you'll stick it out and prove that your sorry. Sunghoon you brought my living situation into this and that's when you decided to fuck up. Who am I to say the next argument we get in you won't bring it up again or say worse?" You finally look up at him with genuine distress. "I want to invest in my feelings for you but I just need you to prove that you're serious" you can see the eagerness in his eyes.

Nodding his head Sunghoon wipes the palm of his hand on his shorts before softly brushing away the small tears on his cheek "I swear I'll prove it" he mumbled making you smile softly feeling content with his response. Letting his hand drop back into his lap Sunghoon moves closer to your side to the point your thighs are touching, the both of you watching how the orange hues of the sun are slowly disappearing behind the peak of trees, laying your head against his shoulder and feeling the weight of his head on top of yours "I love you" Sunghoon puffs out.

He knew he loved you, the girl who taught him so much during just one summer. Took his virginity, taught him to swim, showed him heart break, Sunghoon loved you and he'd wait until you were ready and he proved he would be with you he was all in. He just knew this time falling into the deep end he had someone to save him again and again.

#𖦹—( neo percs )#enhypen smut #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon hard thoughts #sunghoon hard hours #sunghoon imagines #sunghoon smut

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