#but its also like. maybe if u dont want me to assume that u should communicate otherwise rather than leaving me this black void to exist in

[piplupod]

i will make a few random posts and dm one mutual to say smth nice to them and then sit here feeling like i've just ruined my entire life and everything is about to come crashign down around me. HGELP.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[hiddenbeks]

so many thoughts abt how schewpid the jedi council is in kotor but also not sure if i should write abt any of them before i finish the game because it's entirely possible that i'm still missing some critical information,

[androgynousfrog]

00

[papparinoo]

something i like about the blue eye samurai is that they let mizu be a woman. And i know thats ironic since shes had to instead be a man, or let ppl assume shes a man so she could be safe or taken seriously. If anything they dont let her actually choose. idk if that makes any sense, but when i didnt know anything about this show i immediately expected the protagonist to be a man. Usually men play those roles, or whatever. So when i heard her voice in the trailer, i got excited! I hoped that she would be a woman, bcuz i rarely see women who dont look perfect, who arent wearing like skin tight suits or whatever portrayed this way. For me personally i always end up wanting a woman to be in the “mans shoes” or whagever the fuck. I wish i could articulate myself better. Like fuck they actually let a woman look badass as fuck, shes treated with respect in portraying her skills (by the story), and she isnt like the epitome of beauty (for social standards or whatever, to me she’s absolutely frickin gorgeous)

They actually let her exist outside of this lens of what woman should look like or act like. I know its been done before or whatever, but fuck it i barely see woman depicted in this same lens as a man and not make some joke about it. Shes not degraded to a sex object, her appearance isnt perfect or the beauty standard, she gets to be a killer and skilled swordsman in the same light as taigen. It felt rlly great.

I personally struggle with my gender identity, i feel somehow someway im not woman enough. So seeing mizu sort of go through not fitting this sort of standard, having this idea of being a man forced upon her, its all so complicated and interesting and relatable. Maybe that says something about me, maybe it doesnt. But im so excited to see where they take mizu and her gender. Akemi feels like such a foil against mizu. She fits the beauty standard, shes observed as a woman and has her own power. She’s unfortunately the luckiest a woman could be in the story, her being married and such was better than being sold. But still powerless at the same time. It makes sense why mizu was dismissive of akemi at the beginning, to her it looked like akemi was just a brat, but even akemi struggles with not being taken seriously. Mizu on the other hand doesnt fit the standard, being mixed, seen less than human for not fitting the standard, not being “woman” enough (the whole husband thing where her actually being better than him immediately made her husband like dismissing of her and possibly ratting on her as well) the whole constant thing of her “mom” telling her she doesnt have good looks, it often felt like mizu was fighting against not only being mixed and “not pure”, but also fighting against what a woman could exist as..”not pure”. She could not just plainly exist.

Gender stuff is so damn complicated and its something ive struggled with. Ive tried exploring the idea that maybe im trans, maybe im a man or nonbinary. But it felt so relieving to see mizu as a character. Something that stuck out to me was when she was talking to her ex husband. He asked “u wanted to be a man?” And she said something along the lines of “i had to be one” and it felt sort of vindicating in the sense that damn idk.. like me and my siblings have struggled with our genders and whats expected of us, especially within our culture. Ive had conversations with my sister like about how sometimes we do wish we were men. To be taken seriously, to easily do things without feeling so judged. Maybe cis people dont do that, maybe they do, its okay.

I just love mizu, and im so excited to explore this story.

[pastadoughie]

Read over what was going on with anon asks and your posts, and tbh, if you are 16 and you are reaching this kind of critical thinking and actively trying to better yourself through meaningful debates and convos, you are doing god's fucking work from early. I couldn't even begin to form the kind of arguments you are articulating at your age in your posts, so fucking kudos.

I have a similar opinion of sexism being bad no matter the form it takes, patriarchy affects everyone because it imposes roles on everyone, not only women. Breaking those roles on all sides and genders should be the ultimate goal, not try to benefit from the system to become the oppressor.

In any case dude, good luck with the unavoidable influx of people who will misinterpret your posts. Also, your art is hella cool!

i think that alot of ppl just have a rlly hard time like, getting over the gut response to defend themselves when they recieve some kind of serious critisism, like, i think ppl understand on some level that sexism as a concept is stupid, but it can be hard to fully see all the nuances it takes and like, actually recognize it when its subtler

sexism is bad and when i point out that alot of you guys believe ideas that are like, really sexist then thats like, im assuming none of you are like "YEAA SEXISM RUELZZZ!!!! I HATE PEOPLE BASED ON THIER GENDOR" and u rlly rlly dont wanna be lumped into that group

its rlly normal to not wanna be mischaracterized and if you dont self identify as sexist then when someone points out sexist retoric it feels like an unfair and reductive veiw of u

and its like, you really really really need to work past that, im talking abt this stuff because i want ppl to change and be better and if you want that for yourself u have to like rlly chew on these kinds of things

i think what alot of people have issues with is like, relatability in artwork, like "of course im gonna like art with queer women in it more and find it more valueble if im a queer woman" but i think that this points to a really rigid and uphelpful veiw of gender

ive discussed before that, because the mind numbing ammount of biological differences people have theres no actual objective definition of sex or gender, its socially constructed and entirely arbitrary and subjective

i think that labels for sexuality and gender are useful shorthand in our current society though ideally we wouldnt need them, but you need to remember that these things arent rigid

butch lesbian is not a definable group, gay man is not a definable group, they are arbitrary words that mean something different for literally every different person

likewise acting like those meaningless labels somehow make some artwork more or less valueble just points to a bias against people with a certain label

like, the labels dont mean anything they shouldnt change your veiw of a work, if you resonate with a peice of work why does it matter what label is put on it? why does that affect your veiw on the peice?

and yes you are objectively going to relate to some experiences more then others, but i dont think relatability should effect how you value the work, infact id argue seeing perspectives different then your own is incredibly incredibly valueble and, if your disregarding (even subconciously) certain things because theyre made by men then that not only hurts men but it hurts you, it isolates you

maybe i didnt word that perfectly im not always the most articulate but like, i think most of the issues people are having with this are coming from me articulating things maybe not as intuatively as i could or from people refusing to properly engadge with what i have to say

idk, regarding the people accusing me of transmysogeny i just wanna say that like, I AM NOT ALLERGIC TO TALKING TO YOU ABT THIS!! i want to be better and i dont want to be mysogenistic! and if you do see concerning behavior in me i want to be told of it, you keeping these kinds of things to yourself or refusing to engadge with me when i actively am trying to be like, thourough and nuanced about things is just kinda, not productive

[unexpectedbrickattack]

What do you think is the huggability score of our main characters + Brick out of 10?

Putting this under a readmore bc this is some EXTREME Research happening here

Peppino: 6/10. Hes short and hes fat and warm and soft so theoretically he SHOULD be a solid 10/10. But he sweats easily and i think physical contact would make him explode so hes shakes like a leaf the entire time. He will not return the hug well but he WILL make an attempt. If you catch him at a good time, hes got the perfect hugs. But maybe bring a napkin or two.

Pepperman: 1/10. Hes too gotdam big. He would love to be able to hug properly but hes very. Wide. And if he does manage to hug you properly, you will end up directly inbetween his eyes and unnervingly close to his teeth. This is also assuming he Wants to hug people; hes got better things to do. Like sculpt and draw and do rich people things like vacationing on a yacht or gaslighting poor people. (The actual pepperman portrait for the boss fight is very cute looking and i give that a 7/10 just bc i can. Hes got a lil painters apron; the whole fit makes him look huggable)

Vigilante: 3/10. It depends on your tolerance for odd textures. Hes just cheese. Hes cheese! Hes a bit sticky; he never leaves residue but the stickiness can be a bit offputting. Hes remarkably dense, so hugging him would be like hugging a memory foam mattress; wonderful pressure pushing against u but again. The texture… He would be a good weighted blanket; thats not a hug but do what you will with this information

The Noise: 7/10. He is small 🥺 Assuming the hug is earnest and Not a ploy to lower your guard, you are just hugging a Small Person. And we (small people) give the best hugs you can possibly have. But only if you let us hug around ur neck and not the midsection; he (we) cant wrap our arms around that. Points deducted bc the noise is just a menace and hed use a hug as an opportunity to chuck a potion of Explode Your House and then ur house Explodes.

Fake Peppino: 10/10. He can change shape and density at will; whatever you look for in a hug, he can do it. Light? Hes as delicate as a flower. Tight? Coiled like a snake. Dont like the goopy texture? For the time it takes to make this hug happen; the texture is Gone. This man Loves Hugs and with practice, has learned to give the Best hugs. As long as u dont mind his face and the odd way his skin seems to warp and bend in front of you.

Pizzahead: 2/10. TECHNICALLY capable of good hugs. Tall, long arms, friendly disposition. Massive point reduction bc hes doing one armed hugs to try and befriend you so he can sell you on this pyramid scheme he just Knows ur going to knock right out of the ballpark. Weaponized Hugs. Put him in Jail.

Gustavo: 9/10. Hes a gnome. Hes hairy and short and he always ALWAYS goes for the arms around the neck bc hes like 3’ tall. He is strong and so all hugs are tighter than you expect them to be and that can be good or bad depending on ur preference. He is also Small and Compact so hes very warm :) Solid hugs :)

Brick: 5/10. VERY pet-able!!! Imagine a rat but just Big. Hes SOFT and hes got Luscious Fur and wonderful little rat hands. But hugs are either 10/10 (rat owners dream) or 1/10 (texture hell). Hugs can be suffocating. Brick does Typical Rat Movements which includes snuffling your head very rapidly. Whiskers tickle. Rat Hands tickle. Brick MAY nibble at your head (beware). You wont be able to wrap your arms around this beast which may be a dealbreaker to some. But assume that this rat both Loves and Craves little huggles, so he is always an eager hugger :)

Noisette: 10/10. All the positives of Noise but without possible mischievous intent. She may fall asleep in your arms since she will be forced to stay still for longer than 2 seconds. Its endearing though.

Gerome: 7/10. Hes like Clay to me, like a block of playdoh. Tough enough to keep his shape, but soft enough that it doesnt Hurt to hug him. Hes not very soft or comfortable BUT hes got Intent behind his hugs. Hed only hug someone if they needed to be comforted and hes Very good at that. Very solid and grounding hugs if youre willing to hug a Block.

Snotty: 3/10. Smelly. So fucking smelly. Ranked higher than Pizzahead just to spite that twink.

[honeytonedhottie]

how to get over social anxiety☆ . °🎀

okay so i remember during freshman year i had manifested transferring to the school that i wanted to go to, and i literally couldn't socialize with ANYONE cuz i transferred 2 weeks late.

it was so difficult for me to make friends and i struggled SO much. i had the WORST social anxiety. but towards the end of the year i rly came out of my shell and i socialized, which made my school life 100x better and also gave me opportunities.

the importance of socializing - as human beings we r social creatures. if u hide urself away and isolate urself, studies have shown that self isolation has a higher mortality rate than smoking. when we socialize and meet as many people as possible we can access as many opportunities as possible.

exposure therapy literally works. i'd try to socialize with at least one person a day. or, start conversations with people at least once bcuz it was something that was rly daunting and intimidating for me before, but with practice i gained a rly great flow and i became a great conversationalist. also, starting this blog has rly helped me to be able to express myself better <3

a little tip when starting up conversations is to compliment them. when u just walk up to someone and say hi, i feel like that's SO awkward and doesn't make for a good conversation. instead find something ab them, for example ; maybe they're wearing a pretty hairclip, you'd say "omg i love ur hair clip, where'd u get it from?" that way at least u have something to talk about and it'd be easier to be friends with them. also, use their name when speaking to them bcuz our own names r the most beautiful sounding things to us, make an effort to remember and pronounce people's names properly, it makes all the difference <;3

if people are staring at you, dont immediately assume that its something that u should be insecure about. that's signs of low self concept which you'd need to fix. instead, flip ur thoughts and be like "they're staring at me cuz its like seeing an angel in the flesh" dont immediately assume every little thing to mean something bad, sometimes it might not be either of those things. sometimes we stare at people or things blankly without reason when we zone out. dont make urself a prisoner of ur own mind

[transfaguette]

my thing abt "pronoun circles" is that like. you dont have to out yourself in them? if you think its safer to say "she/her" instead of "he/him" then u can do that? u saying ur pronouns isnt supposed to be like. Im Transgender And You Can Tell Bc I Told You Pronouns Instead Of Having You Assume Them... like ideally cis ppl would be doing this too and ive been in environments where cis ppl DID introduce themselves w pronouns or wear pins. if the goal is normalization, if the goal is "genderqueerness should be accepted" then we have to like. Do Things to Normalize It.

(bc this website is like an active pvp zone i wanna clarify im not trying to criticize you or start an argument...! ive had lots of Talks w my trans friends and family abt this and like I Get It lol and i dont necessarily disagree. likewise it's just my opinion that 'pronouns circles' are supposed to make things safer For Me and it is not for stealth trans people at all to begin with... i feel like ppl blame nonbinary folks for a lot of things transphobic cis ppl do vis a vis gender neutral language and 'pronoun circles' and stuff like 'you shouldnt assume ppls pronouns' a lot. which isnt what ur doing but it is the reason why im Sharing my two cents. anyways i hope u have a good day bye bye)

maybe it's a bit of irrational anxiety but i just hate misgendering myself because i'm just..lying. I feel like when someone who looks like me (presumed afab and not a typical cis female) says she/her, people breathe a sigh of relief. Like oh great, we thought you might have been trans but good to know you're not. and they cling to that. because queerness makes them uncomfortable and they don't want to be uncomfortable. and then if I ever want to get close to someone I feel like I have to shatter that expectation. I don't know. It's also why, for Me and Me specifically, giving my correct pronouns is going to be a confirmation of my transgender identity. not just because "giving your pronouns is something trans people do," but because people know I am not a cis man.

It's all about the environment, too. a queer meet up where I Want to be open about my identity, that makes perfect sense. Training at a new job? That's incredibly unfair to me, a person who is not stealth nor out, and just wants to exist in the world as myself. I don't know these people, I don't want to have to divulge this or get into it. It takes my agency away.

It does bother me a lot that this isn't a perfect solution and not everybody likes it. I wish there was something better. I wish it was simpler for me. I just know what I wish cis people understood and could be more careful about how they approach scenarios like this. I appreciate your kind approach though and I really, really wish this was an easier dilemma to solve.

[dballzposting]

ok. ok. i have only seen DB/DBZ/DBS and have not reached GT yet (working on it ......) so mmy understanding of adult goten is from the perspective of somebody who has watched broly second coming on loop and replays the first episode of super like a healthy individual & has seen like 3 screencaps of gt goten. also that one goten side mission from Kakarot for the Play Station Five(5). anywayz. about the threeway you propose in your post. now assuming we live in a beautiful world where akira toriyama is introduced to the concept of polyamory and 1) thinks its banging and 2) accepts homosexuality into his heart of hearts (aka we are no longer operating by feasible canon standards) i do think it is PLAUSIBLE. ebcause. here is da thing. in PREMISE 7 you state Trunks is competition BUT (and again.......maybe GT would contradict this....all i know is my beautiful world where trunks pisses on broly) i think he only views trunks in competition for like...normie things. in Kakarot there's this exchange between the two of them, where Trunks (speaking for the both of them) says smth like, "we're not RIVALS that's LAME. We like competing but we're FRIENDS." (<- he then goes on to dunk on his father because "you're friends with goten's dad, right?? you're not RIVALS are you? that's TOTALLY uncool... you lamer.") and while i acknowledge this is New Canon (DBS-era where trunks's "13yr old on xbox live saying slurs" personality got nerfed a tiny bit) i think it says a lot about how they view competition/rivalry between them. It's like, all fun and games and a drive to be better but it's nothing they're losing sleep over unlike whatever da faq vegeta has going on with goku. this is all to say i don't think goten sees trunks as romantic competition. if anything he probably trusts trunks wouldnt like cheat on his girlfriend or whatever. now idk if goten would have hangups abt a 3-way being bizarre to him or smth but knowing how cra-zay and adventurous that little man is i assume it's something he would TRY at least, like, posing it as a joke like "haha could u imagine..." but its obvious he's like, trying to present it as a valid concept to trunks. the unspoken conclusion of "it could be kinda epic doe" is loud and clear 2 trunks. i think the better question is would palace be cool with this. would she do this. it's trunks briefs of capsule corp so like, if you were a worser person you could be like, hell yeah im fuckin that man if my bf gives me the green light i want tobe able to say that i know mr. trunks briefs biblically. but at the same time thats like, mean. i dont know much abt her but she seems like a sweet gal i think she wouldnt do something just for #bragging rights u kno....but u would know more on that methinks.

by the way you should watch the solar entertainment dub of broly 2 & 3 if you haven't they are life changing.

FASCINATING AND POWERFUL ARGUMENT.

I Didnt Fucking Know That TRunks Said That Shit & I Went and Found it on DA YOUTUBE!!! Timestamped video below but below that I will also attach screenshots of the whole scene but TBH I WATCHED THE WHOLE VIDEO AND IT'S PROFOUNDLY ADORABLE & PERFECT

Trunks said that he wanted to be friendas eith Goten for FOREVER .. He didnt stop at merely commenting on the present, but he had the confidence to project his feelings into the future: He's friends with Goten, he wants to continue being friends with Goten, and he wants it to be for forever.

I mean piece and signerture done right there. Signed sealed & delivered. Closed case. I'm willing to accept this as a total refutation for Premise 7 and what i was getting at in that post in general. Trunks looks at Goten with genuine appreciation when he said that they were friends

Ohhhgm my god and this video is so adorable .. I've said this before but as much as i love madness I also LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE So Much how on dragon ball everyone is depicted as truly happy healthy open free and LOVING EACH OTHER. Trunks and Goten just wanted to spend time with their fathers whom they love so much. They both assumed that their fathers loved each other as much as goten and trunks themselves love each other. They thought that the world was just that beautiful and lively. Also Gotenks in this video is 101% perfect and he is exactly swag and epic as i hoped he would be and it's really remarkable stuff. Great video. Great footage. Great writing

It is true that this is, as you put it: "New Canon (DBS-era where trunks's '13yr old on xbox live saying slurs' personality got nerfed a tiny bit)." But I dont honestly trhink that that's THAT relevant becasue what we mostly saw of Goten & Trunks in DBZ was friendly fun anyway, just with a bit of teeth, and then in DBGT Trunks is totallllyyyy chilled tf OUT and we don't see any acidity from him ever I think. So the fact that he's not saying slurs in DBS is I think okay. (I am actually greatly intrigued by his personality in DBS becasue I believe that it offers a great transition into the eventual DBGT and becasue it offers A LOT of insight on his Nature and his Nurture. Now is not the time.)

OK back to the aspect of the post that is about the throuple with Palace. This here ask offers the perspective that if Trunks sort of entered the relationship, then Goten wouldn't take it as striaght up competeition, but instead it would be sort of like "Ok well you know what You're a good man. I trust you'll treat her well." And in fact perhaps Goten & Trunks AREN'T Sick to Bastard Death ofn each other by now and ARE in fcat FRIENDS FOREVER like Trunks wishes for in this Kakarot for the ps5 footage.

This ask also offers the third propositon that Goten & Trunks may consider the prospect of a threeway involving them and one nice woman to be "kinda epic." No comments on that one

Palace definitely is not a bragging-rights kind of person so her motivations would literally be becasue she loves love and she loves Goten and she loves that he has a best friend and that they love each other and maybe she thinks that trunks is cute becasue hes so polite around her. Or maybe she thinks he looks sad and she wants to do something about it. But she has also been shown to enjoy badboys against her better judgement. Just remembered that. Wonder if we could work that in somehow

I don't member what movies I've seen or haven't seen but I'll keep that in mind chief. It's a beauotufl world ...

END POST

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[nahalism]

Whats your perspective on ghosting? I understand people go through things and we might not have the capacity to speak to people or there is this thing where people lose interest, that’s something I get too. But i still feel Iike there should be some type of communication, regardless of the duration of the relationship. maybe that’s too entitled of me? what do you think?

i dont think its too much to expect or entitlement at all. more like common courtesy (which is not so common).

i think, despite the reasons you already listed, ghosting has a lot to do with people who are avoidant, and don't know how to resolve or deal with confrontation/conflict. they may (rightly or wrongly) assume that 'safe relationships' wont include the incompatibility or kind of conflict they're experiencing with the person they ghost from, orrr they may assume rejection, abandonment or failure in their relationships & either lack the tools to fix them or hold the belief that something fractured cant be fully healed (usually cause they've never seen/experienced it before). if they reach that axis of growth and choose to run, its cause they arent ready and cant give you the closure that you deserve without further opening that wound for themselves. if they leave because they feel that the situation just isnt it for them, the lack of closure could be a consequence of them already having detached themselves along the way, so by the time they've mentally/emotionally left the equation they no longer felt the same need to physically enforce that closure as they perceive theyre reason for having nothing left to say for being obvious.

idk. either way, i guess the pain of the ghosting all depends on the depth of the relationship. on the one hand i think ending things properly (not abruptly and not in an overly drawn out way either), is an act of kindness. however its also its easy to villainise ghosters when sometimes its something to be thankful for. its better to know where you stand with someone even if its nowhere at all, and sometimes the more brutal the realisation, the better because it bursts the bubble of illusion you would have otherwise been under. — if someone wants to get their shit together to fix a situation gone left, trust me they will. if they dont, is that really someone u want to hold a prime position in your life? probably not. its all natural selection

[cali]

I'm too this side! How did you come to be on that side

uhaha u little scamp thats soooo vague how could i possibly knooooooow *punches u playfully*

im on this side probably because i was born into circumstances that made me be. maybe my parents gave me values or put me in enviroments that made me develop like this. maybe the people who were and are nice to u in life were from a different side than the ones who were and are nice to me so we went our own ways... i cant talk well about this without u telling me what type of sides u and i r on. i am assuming ur question to have a tone of longing for getting to other sides of stuff. maybe not but if it is there it gives me a chance for babbling about stuff ive been thinking about so im going to do that now. - imo if u want to switch sides on anything really fast, u could try hitting rock bottom and then everything tends to let itself get rearranged pretty easily. i think this works for so much stuff, like changing behavioural patterns or political paths or religion like my aunt that became a taoist after my grandpa died. when ur comfortable theres no pressure for change, but when u r thrust into thunderstorm and whatever u had before doesnt seem to work enough to help u there, its much easier to acclimate to new ideas. recently ive babbled to a couple people about ego towers which is also about this. as a self defense mechanism i think every person needs to be able to dismiss some ideas that are stupid and not give them the time of day. i think its beautiful to be able to do that, give everything that ultimate attention and consider if its right or not, but also its exhausting and u cant expect it from everyone at all times. so u build urself a castle of ideas of whats right and what isnt and u construct a tower at the entrance from which u can look down at the drawbridge where knights sent by other castles are flaunting their feathers of their ornate helms at u. but thru infinite confirmation bias, bubble world economy planet, etcetera, ur ego tower can reach heights where ure too high up to see stuff and all the flaunting knights look like ants and then PAH thats dirt to u! waooow . its good to have a tower of some kind though- i just dont think u should raise it to a height where ants is real. good example for this is hardcore qanon truthers after waves of falsely predicted waves of dates when biden will be turned into wine or similarly religions promising exact dates for doomsday or anyone who was ever said the phrase "paper hands". what im saying is you need to give ur qanon grandparents lsd so they experience eagledeath and get reborn as liberal hippies. sorry, my uncle john lennon came in and typed that. thats the extreme way the fast way but also the dangerous way cuz when its dark and u lost ur lamp and u see a saving glow to hurry towards, u wont be able to pay as much attention to its source due well youre trying to get out of here as fast as possible. and then ur like thos damn stupid fishes getting eaten by a angler fish. fuuuckkkk... the slow way the safe way the tedious and boring way is the only other way i know about. treading down the tower slowly 10000 steps down the staircase. it helps when people people from different towers are nice to u. grandma warming up to the weirdos when one helps her. a weirdo warming up to grandmas when one is very receptive to help. that can lower tower height a bit on both fronts. but dont who ur friends with guide ur morals let ur morals guide your friendships probably. do it slow & do it nice, see u anon

[plato-repulsed-culture-is]

sorry if this is a weird question, but um, a girl i know asked me out. Shes aplatonic but alloromantic and allosexual. I do like her back, but im a bit worried.. ive dated a guy before who didnt have friends and what ended up happening is that i had to support him 100% of the time when something bad happened and i had to be with him after school every day because i was the only person he talked to and he would get lonely otherwise. He even threatened to do bad things to himself if i went to a friend's sleepover because it made him feel bad. Im really worried that something like this would repeat... it lowkey traumatized me i think. Is this a valid concern or are aplatonic people different and they dont really need much emotional support compared to non-aplatonic people? Or was my ex just uniquely an asshole? Thank u so so much if u respond

I am prefacing this with a disclaimer that this blog was never for giving people advice, especially when they view aplatonics with such suspicion and are not actually asking any advice related to plato repulsion which is what this blog is about. I can also only go off of your statements here to draw conclusions, and I am assuming you are stating the truth here (especially as this is online, I know there is a possibility people can lie, but may also be telling the truth.). Also, we are not responsible for anything that happens to you emotionally or otherwise if you make decisions based off of this advice, because thats not within our control.

From what you said, your ex sounds like he was being rather toxic and manipulative towards you. That kind of behaviour is harmful (threatening self harm as a form of control, trying to control who someone spends time with, and not respecting peoples boundaries regarding interaction or emotional support, are all harmful actions.) and nobody should be acting that way towards others, we're sorry that happened to you. You also don't need to be concerned that someone will act this way towards you just bc theyre aplatonic. Your concern is valid, but it is in no way something that will inherently apply to aplatonics.

If you are concerned about whether this person has unmet social needs then you should just ask her about her social needs and emotional needs and what she expects in a relationship, and communicate about your needs and emotions regarding these things too. If its possible to, maybe mention that you have past issues or trauma in relationships which is why you want to be careful about dating, while not making it seem like aplatonicism is inherently a reason you think someone might hurt you(because it's not).

Set boundaries about what amount of time you want to spend with someone you're dating, and state your limits regarding how much you are okay with emotionally supporting someone / what topics you are ok with talking about / etc. . Don't assume that someone will be toxic or abusive towards you just because they're aplatonic. Its not really like your ex was inherently aplatonic just because he didn't have friends, and it may even be more likely he was alloplatonic.

Some aplatonics have and/or want friends but some dont, and moreover, if someone doesnt have friends by choice, that's very different from someone who is lonely because they don't have friends and mistreats a partner because of it. I will also add here that I don't intend to malign mental health issues just because it sounds like your ex may have had them (as you mentioned loneliness - which is different from just being alone or even liking solitude) ; mental health issues do not innately make someone abusive or toxic, and one can have mental health issues and still be respectful to people.

Someone without any mental health issues can also still very much be abusive or toxic towards others. And honestly, if you associate the concept of aplatonicism itself with this trauma then maybe its not in the best interest of you or the other person to date? And if it applies maybe it could be possible that you are simply not ready to date someone again after what happened, which is also okay, but I don't intend to assume that or be harsh in stating it as a possibility. I will also add that not having friends is not a 'red flag'. If someone has a preference to date/ be involved with people who have friends, that's okay, but not having friends is not inherently a 'red flag'.

Some aplatonics may not get lonely if they don't talk to people (but this can also be true of alloplatonics), and just because someone is aplatonic doesnt mean they will expect their partner to support them all the time to an unhealthy level or to an extent that crosses their boundaries. I will also add that there is no surefire way to tell whether someone will be abusive or toxic, although if they cross your boundaries or are disrespectful to you from the start, its worth staying away from them. Even ppl who are very kind to you initially may at some point abuse you or mistreat you, and theres no way to tell for sure whether or not this will happen because thats kind of how social relationships of any kind are.

But don't profile aplatonics as inherently more likely to be abusive or toxic (I don't know if this is intentional on your part, but hearing the word 'aplatonic' and making all these assumptions about how one may be in a relationship wounds like either this and/or like a trauma trigger extending to the concept of aplatonicism). Not all aplatonics even approach social relationships the same way, and even those who don't have friends are still capable of respecting boundaries in relationships they engage in. I wouldn't say that aplatonic people don't have emotional needs, but people in general have varying social needs and emotional needs. Some people who don't want friends may specifically not have a social drive towards having friends, but this may also apply to people who want friends.

If someone is happy without having friends then they probably don't seek emotional or social fulfillment from friendship. They may have other relationship types even if they are aplatonic (such as familial , romantic, sexual, alterous, etc.) (I don't know if you and this girl are monogamous are not but if you are intending to be monogamous that obviously is excluding sexual and/or romantic then) , and I will add that people don't always need social relationships/ bonds for emotional support. Some people may process emotions through journalling, or may go to a therapist, or such.

Some people may have people they talk to sometimes but don't call them their friends. Having friends does not ever guarantee anyone emotional support, and neither does any other relationship. It just so happens that a lot of people end up mutually (i.e. more or less both ppl give the other emotional support, it doesnt have to be equal so much as it is respecting the boundaries of both people. It is also possible that people may be incompatible in this regard) giving emotional support due to just being around people they are close to and also due to having some kind of emotional connection.

Anyways, long answer short, aplatonicism doesn't say anything about someone's social needs or emotional needs, and neither does alloplatonicism, and its often better to communicate with people you are close to or are looking to be close to, about important aspects regarding relationships.

(Also stating here that this is not an advice blog, we will be deleting any asks seeking advice from now on. If you want you can send in asks as reply to this response, as long as you aren't asking for more advice)

Anyways I hope it works out for you, whatever you decide to do.

(Additional disclaimer - to anyone who sees this post - do NOT suggest that 'narc abuse' 'borderline abuse' or whatever is real, do not imply mental health issues cause ppl to inherently be abusive, and do not treat having no friends as a 'red flag', regardless of platonic orientation or favorability)

[bwabys-scenarios]

hey, so would it be okay for this to just be read and not answered? i want to respect everyone's privacy.

so, i used to be in your old discord you now privated and that's totaly fine! whatever makes u most comfy! i kinda put two and two together with the person u were talking about on here and someone who left that discord like 2 weeks ago. IF its the same person im thinking of, then they are currently being harassed, called a c*nt, delusional, anon is asking for usernames of people, which they refuse to give and dont want to speak about the situation further (they honestly arent even talking about it and seem to be moved on? idk what anon is on about). essentially a very similar message to yours of dont harass anyone or ask questions further, we both will move on etc i saw it and your message that hate wont be tolerated and i really hope whoever the anon is isnt sending you hate either... it's a weird situation and idk what to do other than bring it to attention, even tho i know you want to move on and heal from this person, i also feel strongly about cyberbullying and people who are nosy and want to get involved for no reason. i just wish healing for everyone involved<3 anyway, that's all and i hope that you are doing well regardless! im wishing you a lovely day or night mwah<3

No, anons haven’t sent me any hate at all, this is actually fucking disgusting. Maybe I haven’t gotten the hate yet? Either way I’m assuming it’s someone from my old server or someone sending them hate just to cause more drama between the two of us.

So big announcement, if you’re sending hate to anyone on my behalf, I want you to fucking show yourself. I want you to apologize. I already asked everyone to not send any hate to anyone, it’s not hard at all to do.

I made a mistake making it public(though I did not mention their name once on tumblr), and this is a very harsh lesson to learn. I have the person that’s receiving this hate blocked or I would personally apologize to them, but if they see this, that’s not what I wanted at all. If you find out who is sending you the hate you can contact me and I’ll make sure they get reported. You can also report anonymous messages, and it should still affect their account! I did this in the past and it got someone’s account who was bullying me taken down.

I never mentioned the persons name publicly but I did vent about them in my discord after the big falling out because I was so frustrated. I didn’t want more people to know who they were after I calmed down so I kicked everyone I didn’t trust.

If someone I trusted did this, it breaks my fucking heart. This is not what we do, this shouldn’t be tolerated by anyone. Idc what anyone did in this situation, she didn’t do anything worthy of receiving hate. No one should get that kind of shit. No one.

I would have hoped people had some common fucking decency. This literally pissed me tf off.

It’s a big lesson, even if you think you can trust people with information, you always have to be careful. That’s why I made a whole new server with no drama and no vents or anything to prevent this. It’s partially my fault, even if I didn’t say their username on my tumblr I did say it in my discord server. At the time it only had around 20ish people, but soon after I posted in vent I made the vent channel private and kicked 10 people, the unprivated the vent channel after. Before we had a falling out I didn’t mention them at all, and it should have stayed that way.

I haven’t checked their account since I blocked them, but they should be able to block the anonymous accounts. I’m pretty sure it blocks alts as well? Because when I block someone at least I’m unable to see the account on my alt. Idk about being blocked though. Sorry I don’t usually try to go to someone’s account after I’ve been blocked.

I’d recommend turning off anons for a while, it’s what I did after the fallout because I was afraid of getting bad anonymous asks as well. And at the time before I turned it off I did receive a few nasty asks about me being dramatic etc, but I didn’t really give it much thought.

People enjoy drama and stirring the pot. I think I’ll also turn off anon and limit my messages to people I follow only for a bit just to be safe 😭

If you send anyone hate on my behalf, you are scum. I don’t tolerate bullies, that situation has been over with for nearly a week now, and we both moved on. There’s no reason to send hate to anyone.

I’m sorry, in the future I’ll be more mindful of who I vent to. It’s just not okay, I thought I could trust my server of FULLY GROWN ADULTS to act like adults should, but clearly fucking not. I’m not only disappointed, but also angry and upset.

If you think sending someone hate on my behalf helps me at all, you’re wrong. All it does it hurt others and cause more problems for me. This has brought back all the stress of the situation when I felt like I finally moved on from it.

I’m sorry, again, it’s my fault for trusting the wrong people. I’ll keep my venting between my closest friends from now on. This is just not acceptable behavior, who the fuck sends someone anonymous hate over INTERNET DRAMA? Go outside, touch some grass, interact with someone in the real world!

I offer all of my apologies to the person affected. Not mentioning their name, but I really hope this message clears everything up. I don’t want anyone sending ANYONE hate.

[razzmothazz]

@homuncvlus heres the himeko guide for u >:3 gonna write it out like this cause its easier

fair warning i dont have himeko myself and I WONT HER SO BAD ACTUALLY RAGHHH SHES SO COOL I LOVE FOLLOW UP ATK CHARACTERS!!!! the actual warning is that im not good with light cones so idk how much i can help with that .....

when it comes to sets id say her best would be ashblazing, either full 4pc or 2pc with either firesmith for fire dmg bonus or musketeer/prisoner for more atk, you mostly wanna focus on her follow up attacks and triggering those. ornament id go for would b inert salsotto to boost those follow up attacks even more

for stats id build her as a regular dps focusing on atk and crit, but with some bonus speed and maybe a bit of ehr in the substats since applying burn on enemies boosts her dmg a bit, but its not that important because of her bonus ability tbh

so basically crit body, atk boots (or speed if youre going for more sub dps or can sacrifice some atk), fire dmg orb, atk rope

reading her kit makes me realize she does a lot btw. damn. i want her even more now.

for trace priority id go ult>skill>talent>basic atk, id put her talent higher but her skill is definetly gonna be used more than talent so yea good to have it high lvl

when it comes to team comps shes great with anyone that also deals fire dmg since she boosts that + gets a boost when hitting burnt enemies, having a healer is probably better than shielder for her since she also does more dmg when above 80%hp, tho if ur shield is unbreakable it works too lmao, add some support on top of that and ur set i guess! as long as you have a way to break weakness she should be good :3

hope i didnt forget to mention anything RAGHH also this guide assumes shes E0 but i can tell u if having her at E[number here] changes anything in the build or smthn tee hee idk if u have any questions just lmk i love rambling abt build ehehehehehehee