#but not in the way one might think

[afusionoffandoms]

I often think about how easier my life would be if I were conventionally attractive.

Don't get me wrong. I don't look myself in the mirror and wish I looked good for the sake of looking good. I just wish I were treated that way.

When you're conventionally attractive, you get better job opportunities, and you get better paid. You get more social opportunities, from being first pick for games or projects, to having more friends, love interests and overall being more desirable to spend time with. Your opinions weigh more, and people are more inclined to listen to you, and care about you. Me? When I was a kid/teenager and the PE teacher had us form a circle or something, people literally refused to stand closer than 6 feet away from me, even though I've always been a very clean person. I've never been given pet/nicknames. I know for a fact that if I were to start a GoFundMe to help my medical expenses, I wouldn't get a single dollar.

If you're conventionally attractive, you get compliments just for existing. You post a selfie and people actually compliment you. Slay, girl. Smash. Daddy. Goals. Pretty thing. I've never experienced that. Not once have I been complimented on a random pic of myself, I'm only complimented if I've done something truly spectacular. All compliments have to be hard-earned and even then, they're very conservative. People have to be careful not to seem like they're attracted to me, for that would be embarrassing and make them seem weird. I could never use myself as a model to show something I've created, or in order to create something, since it would negatively affect what the subject is. Never have I been praised for simply existing. The world has never told me I have any reason to feel good - or even neutral - about the way I look.

I think about how my medical history would've looked so different and been so much easier for me to work through, how much more healthy I would've been today, if only medical professionals had treated me like they treat conventionally attractive individuals. If I would've been given the same treatments and trusted and taken seriously the same way. If people had an instinctual wish to treat me right.

I think about how movies, books, comics, series, music, video games, photography, art, podcasts, every single medium keeps telling me I'm undesirable both as a partner and a friend, that my existence is comical, that I'm unintelligent, selfish, lazy, greedy, filthy and evil unless proven otherwise. I can never find myself represented in media, or when you can build your own character. In perfect fictional worlds, I don't exist. Any instance where this stereotype is criticised or disproven, is treated as controversial and an exception to the rule.

I wonder what it would be like to be in a public space without being unfairly ignored or judged. It's either one or the other. You either don't exist at all - and don't deserve the time of day - or you exist too much and you're taking up too much space, judged mercilessly and picked apart. I can't go to the gym without getting looks of disapproval and disgust, which does nothing to encourage me to work harder. Imagine how much that damages you over time, even when you do your best to learn how to ignore the haters. It still doesn't change the fact that people do it. Doesn't change the fact that the average person still wants to treat you this way.

I'm not saying attractive people don't have challenges as well. I'm not saying there are minorities who don't have it worse.

But that doesn't change the fact that this is my life, and being unattractive means I have a considerable amount of additional hurdles to overcome - hurdles that I can't change with my mindset, hurdles that are unnecessary and wouldn't have to be there if people simply decided not to place them in my way.

[mangozic]

my dead goth son and his friendly neighborhood personified concept of insanity

[wanderer-clarisse]

early morning sunlight at Bag End

[beybuniki]

they should go on a fishing trip pt.1

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

[eliounora]

I had a dream you came to me

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[wardingshout]

Zelda goes mushroom girl

[literaphobe]

imagine marinette getting told by friends and family Hey Girl. we think you might have adhd. and they cite symptoms she shows but she accidentally connects them to stuff she started doing after she became ladybug and now shes like OH NO… if i deny this disorder they will suspect my identity… YEAH I TOTALLY HAVE ADHD YOU GUYS!!!! so she thinks she’s keeping it up for her superhero life and nods along to all the tips and tricks for adhd people her loved ones find on the internet. she flashes smiles as they hand her meds that could help and only pretends to take them because she’s Lying About It Right. but then one day at patrol chat noir tells her hey um recently a friend of mine was diagnosed with adhd. have you heard of it? because i think you might have it. and her eye twitches

[canisalbus]

What if I told you that RoobrickMarine went and wrote an entire novella starring my 16th century dog couple? It's very canon-adjacent, well researched and thoughtfully put together, has inspired me a ton during these past months and it's now publicly available at AO3. I highly recommend it.

✦ Separation ✦

[the-woman-upstairs]

Really fucked up that, when they’re young, Patrick and Art are SO tactile with each other, so comfortable sharing the same space. Art lets Patrick touch him and move him and physically overwhelm him and easily acquiesces to it, if not outright enjoys it.

Then in the present, they’ve been so far out of each other’s orbit for so long, held such animosity that when they have their moment alone in the sauna, Art physically recoils from Patrick’s close proximity! It’s so painful to watch because even as Patrick’s goading him, it’s so obvious he wants to be able to get back into Art’s space. But Art has erected all these walls around himself, he refuses to give Patrick an inch or even admit to missing how close they used to be!

AND THEN we see Art and Tashi later and he wants her to hold him, to be gentle with him, and just TOUCH him. Like, he does miss that kind of close physical contact! He either doesn’t know how to ask for it or is uncomfortable being that openly vulnerable. Worth noting that he pretty much always defers to Tashi in regard to initiating physical intimacy (with their first kiss, though he does state his desire, SHE has to be the one to make the first move). And it seems pretty obvious that Tashi herself isn’t comfortable providing that intimacy, whereas Patrick actively seeks to provide it (the hug/forehead kiss after their win together in the early years, dragging the stool closer to him).

Art has tried very hard to act like he doesn’t need physical affection and even though his discipline and devotion to Tashi has made him a stronger tennis player, it’s made him a hollow person, which, in turn, has kept him from becoming a GREAT tennis player.

All of this, of course, is why the ending hits so damn hard.

[anastacialy]

guys, i think the hermits are going to accidentally start a prank war again. because just like last time, a game of telephone has begun. first, false made iskall's build into ''false beans,'' her shop from the previous season. however, to give herself plausible deniability, she signs it with "love, Joel. x" due to his username, smallishbeans.

next, iskall sees this, and completely believes it. he thinks it was joel who pranked him, and as he says to pearl while showing off the sign, which he kept even after tearing the prank down, "joel gave me a kiss." in his most recent video, he pranks joel by sending him loads of anonymous messages in order to completely spam and fill his inbox, preventing him from getting any more mail, with notes such as "thinking about you. x"

of course, joel is going to have absolutely no context for this, because he didn't make the initial prank. so who is joel going to assume sent him all those messages while he was away on holiday? well, i have a guess.

etho.

[ao3commentoftheday]

I'm going to start this post off by saying that I write fic, and I know the pain of putting something out there and not getting a response. It sucks and it hurts and it puts a dent in my self-confidence. If I have the choice between posting a work on AO3 and getting only comments or posting a work on AO3 and getting only kudos, I'll probably choose comments let's say 8 times out of 10.

But with that in mind, posts that attempt to shame or guilt readers into commenting don't actually work.

Negative reinforcement (in the form of shame, guilt, or other worse emotions) doesn't make anyone want to do the thing. It just makes them want to avoid the guilt, etc. Rather than encouraging someone to talk to you about your writing, you're making that person want to avoid you so that they don't have to feel bad. That's just human nature.

I've said before that I think a lot of writers are looking for community rather than comments, and I still think that's true. The reason I love both writing and receiving comments is because it makes me feel like I've made a connection with someone. I may never know their real name or what they look like or where they live or anything else but what fandom we have in common, but we've reached out to each other in this text-based medium and we've shared words that made each other feel something.

I know that these posts are written out of frustration or loneliness or needing support or a hundred other reasons I could list off the top of my head. But when I read "you should be grateful for the things I give you and show me proper appreciation" it just reminds me of my parents telling me to clean my room or to follow the rules while I live under their roof.

It's so much more vulnerable to admit, "I don't know if this story is any good and I really wish someone would reassure me right now."

It's much harder to say, "I feel so alone in this fandom, and I want to make friends with someone."

It's difficult to admit, "I worked so hard on this for so long and I'm so tired, but if someone out there likes it then all of that effort will be worthwhile - and if no one says anything, then I'll feel like my effort was wasted."

I'm not trying to shame the people who made those posts, and if that's how this comes across then I'm sorry. I'm just trying to explain why I think those posts will harm more than they help.

I also hope that any readers who see this post will understand that those writers are just people who are feeling a lot of different ways, and they're venting their frustrations. I've been there. I've reblogged those posts before when I was feeling frustrated like that too.

If you're able to comment, those comments are appreciated. If you're not able to comment (for whatever reason), that's okay too. ❤️

[twinstxrs]

so much happened in this whole episode but i’m still on fig infiltrating ruben’s dream, making it look like the place where his friend was murdered, and then disguising herself as kipperlilly & repeatedly saying different variants of “somebody needs to take the fall for this, and it’s not going to be me. it’s going to be you.” while adaine as the elven oracle shows up next to her. can you imagine waking up from that, the idea of a horrible truth being pinned on you by your friend to save her own skin while the personification of fate and destiny stands there, almost as a promise that this is GOING to happen to you. we don’t even know if this kid is guilty. my god.

[knifearo]

this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...

[hychlorions]

a what-if i've been thinking about for forever... trucy knowing the truth before anyone could tell her