#but not really: this was a diary entry

[digitalstains]

mmmm...

[the-most-sublime-fool]

Then, too, at sea—to use a homely but expressive phrase—you miss a man so much. A dozen men are shut up together in a little bark, upon the wide, wide sea, and for months and months see no forms and hear no voices but their own, and one is taken suddenly from among them, and they miss him at every turn. It is like losing a limb. There are no new faces or new scenes to fill up the gap. There is always an empty berth in the forecastle, and one man wanting when the small night watch is mustered. There is one less to take up the wheel, and one less to lay out with you upon the yard. You miss his form, and the sound of his voice, for habit had made them almost necessary to you, and each of your senses feels the loss.

—a sailor's diary entry, on losing a shipmate, ca. 1834 (from Two Years Before the Mast by Richard Henry Dana Jr.)

[vidkun]

[sciderman]

oh tobey we're really in it now

i managed to catch opening night of I'm Gonna Marry You Tobey Maguire here in london last week and it's weird and stupid and heartwrenching with a solid amount of britney numbers

[macdenlover]

we don’t acknowledge enough how dee used to be a pageant winner when she was a kid and how much damage it did to her. she worked her ass off and got recognition for being pretty and talented at a young age and it was the only source of self esteem she could garner in a family that constantly berated and talked down to her. she sought after that external approval because it was the only way she could prove everyone around her wrong. her dream of being a performer didn’t come from a self-aggrandizing delusion— she genuinely showed a lot of potential when she was younger. but she went through an unflattering puberty and her spinal condition got worse and that natural talent she had as a kid plateaued way too early. the “former gifted kid” dilemma. she slowly lost the thing that promised her that she was good, but she was so desperate to keep holding onto it that she tried anyway. again and again and again no matter how much people made fun of her because it was always about proving them wrong. but after a while she couldn’t jump anymore without anticipating the way it feels when she hits the ground face first. self-sabotage became her way out, choosing to rather live in the fantasy of her own unrealized potential and blaming those around her for her lack of success, than having tried and crashed again. she’d rather buy lottery tickets over and over and never scratch off the numbers than to see that she lost. that self-sabotaging behavior bled into other aspects of her life too, from friendships to relationships to therapy. her own short lived success is what made her grow into embodying the cycle of failure.

[julykings]

by candlelight

[sophiesonlinediary]

going on break until may !!!

you can all still bug me and my inbox and such but i will be gone. i do promise to check up on this account at least twice until i come back full time

intro post

tagging my mutuals: @nqds, @deprivedofbraincellsandsleep, @reminiscentreader, @skeelly, @mqstermindswift, @jewelledmoths, @lyrakanefanatic, @urbanflorals, @lost-in-reveriie, @a-beautiful-fool, @faultsline, @imthatweirdratinthecorner, @cyberccx, @lumine4624, @lovelikethemovies13, @sheneverstopsreading, @the0nlyallison, @swiftreader1989, @alltheliars, @reyna-obsessed, @shefollowedthestars, @percabeths-blue-cookies, @bookishswiftie1989, @styie, @dorothheaa, @baboland, @crrneliastreet, @that-multi-fandom-hijabi, @venux777, @lanitahoney, @urapocolypticcrush, @solutopia, @suki1vr, @ivyppoison, @stvrlighttgabss, @allthetorturedpoets, @swiftieannah, @foaming-sea, @halucynator, @banilikesfictionalpeople, @leaskisses444, @catastrxblues, @formulalina15, @never-enough-novels, @buticanfixhernoreallyican, @raingalaxy

[mind-of-mud]

i scarcely think that there is any hope for human beings.

and then, i am nineteen again. i am ripping the hello kitty charm off my pink croc and handing it to the girl behind the glass display. i hand it to her because she looks at my hello kitty tattoo in awe. and because she really thinks about it when i ask her who her favorite character is. and because her favorite character is hello kitty for the same reasons she is mine.

in the moment, everything moves slowly when she smiles. crooked, yet perfect teeth stare back at me. and all i can think of is how she is beautiful. and how she is happy.

this is when i know that people are good. because i am good.

and then i start to wonder if anyone would ever do that for me.

[itsamenickname]

Question: If Luigi, were to say, accidentally find Bowser's diary (sort of like Peach did in Paper Mario) while they're dating, what would the diary entries say?

[a-daisy-in-the-dark]

4/8/24

[itscontinental]

W #437

[hanzajesthanza]

my most non-controversial, milquetoast witcher opinions:

i love geralt so much

the witcher 3 is an awesome game

lady of the lake’s pacing is wack (but i love her anyways)

[who-goes-maractus]

i've been seeing people saying side order is a copy of octo expansion pretty often and i don't understand that take at all? like off the hook is there i guess but side order is closer to splatoon 2's hero mode to me. unlocking a hero weapon in 2 required completing every stage with one weapon which is similar to how you aren't allowed to change palettes while climbing the spire of order. side order pulls off the idea of "go through this gauntlet without changing weapons" much better than 2's hero mode did, mostly because 1000%ing 2 is a self-imposed challenge instead of The Point Of The Mode, which means some of 2's stages suck bad without their intended weapon where side order's floors were designed to be completeable with any weapon

[themetalvirus]

shadow being apathetic unless in a situation that is intense enough to give him an adrenaline rush not unlike what he experienced on the ark and thus seeking out violent, unsafe, or painful situations on purpose. thinking of idw shadow in particular actually because when i apply this context to him i think he makes a bit more sense (hes still written real stupid but i can pretend its good for a bit here). they really lean into his lone wolf independent nature. he wants to avoid getting too close to anybody to protect himself from grief if they get taken away. he's so hypervigilant that he can't feel much of anything else. the emotional part of your brain acts before any other part, contributing to the uncontrollable fits of anger common with ptsd - it shuts down your rational brain and forces you to act above all else. so he's either angry, violent, or can't really focus on one thing in particular and thus leaves until he finds something more engaging to his lizard brain. fucked up little adrenaline junkie with issues and problems who really needs to be steered away from his habits and into forming some new damn neural pathways

[greghatecrimes]

My job has been sucking the little remaining energy out of me that isn't going towards being sick/recovering. And man I miss doing hobby things (crafting, writing-- ESPECIALLY In The Dirt-- drawing, etc) so much. My free time has mainly been spent recovering from work, resting and doing nothing, falling asleep, or zoning out watching tv or scrolling. which is like. not very creatively stimulating lol. I'm applying for new jobs right now and I really hope and pray to all the benevolent forces in the universe that I land one, because my current job a) doesn't feel very sustainable with how sick I am post-mold, and b) told me they can't give me half of the ADA accommodations I requested.

however. I still get to live with my best friend, and if I get a new job, I should be able to go visit my girlfriend for several *weeks*. And I have appointments w/a bunch of specialists next week who can hopefully at least help with my pain management...

[sophiesonlinediary]

my biggest fear in life is to fail.