#but noticeably this weekend i felt great and when i got to work today i almost cried

[calvins-dad]

about to cry on this bus because it just hit me this morning how much of my current Problems are coming from work

[marvelstoriesepic]

Still on the list

Pairing: Frat!College!Bucky x Reader

Summary: Bucky Barnes, the infamous frat guy, known for sleeping around and throwing parties left and right, constantly invites you, out of all people, to all of them. His intentions though remain a mystery to you. Following a troubling event that leaves you shaken and anxious, Bucky is there to pick up the pieces. Stolen glances and exchanged smiles gradually blossom into a connection that goes beyond what meets the eye.

Word count: 14.1k

Warnings: annoyance to friends to lovers; panic attacks!; creepy man; angst and comfort; Bucky is a frat boy

author’s note: This took longer than I hoped, but I love it!

Masterlist

One minute.

One minute did it take for the class to end and yet it felt like an eternity.

You stared at the clock in anticipation, not paying an ounce of attention to what your professor was talking about.

Was he even talking?

Were you supposed to write something down?

You wouldn’t know.

RIING

Finally, the blissful sound of the bell pierced through the monotony.

You took your eyes off the clock in the far corner of the lecture hall, a sigh of relief leaving your lips and started packing your stuff.

“Alright class! See you on Monday! Have a great weekend.” Your professor exclaimed before walking out of the hall with a wave.

Amidst the chorus of thank you’s and see you on Monday’s and packing your laptop in your bag, alongside your pen and notebook (basically for small, unnecessary doodles, instead of notes) including your water bottle, you noticed Wanda slipping onto the bench beside you with her backpack draped over her right shoulder and an amused smile plastered on her face.

“Late again,” she teased.

You groaned. “Blame that slowpoke of a bus driver.”

“You know you can always ride with Pietro and me.” She nudged your shoulder playfully.

You offered her a grateful smile but shook your head. “It’s inconvenient for you.”

After being forced to live on campus for your first year of college you decided to get a small apartment to save some money and get the privacy you wanted and needed. Living on campus was expensive enough and with the small amount of money you got for working in a café and babysitting sometimes in the evening there wasn’t much left for you to enjoy yourself a little.

You never really enjoyed living in a dorm together with someone you didn’t know and sharing that same space. Your roommate for that first year was perpetually boisterous and tried dragging you to every party within a five-mile radius. Despite your initial resistance, you eventually succumbed to peer pressure. After enduring an eternity of loud music and plastic cups thrust into your hand, you found yourself in the grim confines of a bathroom stall, holding back your roommate‘s unruly hair as she retched into the toilet bowl. It was a moment of disillusionment that solidified your resolve to seek solitude and sanctuary away from the chaos of dormitory life.

Though you hated every minute of that day, in the end, you were glad you went, because it was where you met Wanda.

As fate would have it, Wanda found herself reluctantly dragged to the same party by none other than her brother, Pietro. Aforementioned guy managed to catch your roommate since she ‘accidentally’ slipped in front of him. She kept giggling with his arms draped around her and you apologized to him and Wanda though you knew it was actually really not your fault.

So while your roommate occupied Pietro you had a pleasant conversation with his sister. You clicked immediately.

“It takes ten minutes Y/n, it’s truly no big deal.”

“Well, I’ll keep it in mind! Thanks, Wan!”

You walked out of the hall and crossed campus together. Since you just had this one lecture today you signed in for a shift at the café you worked at and were just about to bid Wanda goodbye when-

“Maximoff!”

You didn’t make any attempt to even try not to roll your eyes.

Wanda turned around and so did you eventually, not concealing your dissatisfaction with the approaching guy, a scowl forming on your face.

Bucky Barnes.

Of course.

Now, there were a lot of things you tolerated. It was hard to rile you up, but Bucky Barnes? He exceeded every limit.

You couldn’t stand the guy. And he knew it.

He caught up to you girls and kept his attention on your friend.

“Hey, Wanda! You have a minute?”

Before she could react he turned to you, pretending to see you just now.

“Oh. Y/n! Haven’t seen you there.”

You wanted to punch that arrogant grin off his face.

“What do you want?”

“Well as I was gonna ask Wanda,” he emphasized her name with a playful drawl and turned to her, “You and your brother are coming today right? Sam got the drinks and we got a new beer pong table. We gotta initiate it correctly.”

Another eye roll escaped you as Wanda shot you a brief, amused glance before addressing Bucky. “Pietro’ll come. The party was the only thing he talked about this morning.”

“Perfect!” Bucky grinned. “You’ll come too right? You can have a plus one!” He nodded his head towards you while meeting your steely gaze with unwavering confidence.

“Nothing will get me to enter your stupid frat party Barnes!” you retorted dryly.

Bucky’s grin remained firmly in place, his cockiness bordering on infuriating.

“Well I’ll be there,” he declared, turning his attention toward you with a smirk.

You cocked your head. “There’s the reason why.”

A soft sigh from Wanda diverted your attention, prompting you to check the time on your phone.

“Whatever, I gotta go!” With a brief hug, you bid her goodbye.

“Text me later?”

“Course, Wan!”

You flashed her a quick smile before striding away, ignoring Bucky’s futile attempt to prolong the conversation.

“Where ya going?” he shouted after you.

“Work!” Your response was curt and you continued your way.

****

“That’ll be 4.75$.”

The girl in front of you swiped her card through the card reader and you placed the cup with her latte on the counter separating you.

You thanked her for the small tip and turned away when she left, to stock up on the coffee beans. You leaned down and grabbed the bag out of a drawer from under the counter as you heard the door to the shop open.

Your coworker went to the storage room to store the milk that came in a few minutes before and it wasn’t that busy so you were good on your own out front.

“Just a sec!” you called while opening the bag and pouring the beans in, standing with your back to the counter.

“All good! I’m in no hurry.”

You stilled for a second, almost pouring over the beans. Although you couldn’t see him right now you could tell he wore that shit-eating grin again.

You pulled the bag away harshly with a few falling out. You would take care of that later. Probably not though.

You put the bag aside, preparing yourself to turn around, and came face to face with the one and only Bucky Barnes.

Seriously?

Two times in a day?

You wiped over your apron and met his gaze. “What can I get you?” You tried feigning that kindness you were supposed to show your guests though you knew you could try more.

Not taken aback by your grimace and still slightly annoyed tone he leaned on the counter and pretended to contemplate what to get.

You crossed your arms over your chest and stared at him.

“I think I’ll go for a black coffee,” He grinned at you.

You uncrossed your arms to get to work. “Small, medium, large?” You were really trying to stay professional here.

“I’ll take it medium, doll.”

It wasn’t the first time he called you that, though you‘ve heard it come out of his mouth plenty of times to plenty of girls so you guessed he didn’t even recognize he was calling you that too.

You got to work while Bucky watched you intently, still leaning on the counter.

You hoped he would stay silent but guessed that thought was futile since he walked in here.

“So, you think about coming?”

“No.”

“No, you haven’t thought about it or no, you aren’t coming?”

“Both.”

It wasn’t the first time he somehow tried to get you to come to one of his frat parties. Be it through Wanda or Pietro or just blatantly asking you to come. You knew your answer every time. He should have known that too but he seemingly never stopped trying.

“Aww, come on doll! Already put you on the list.”

“Do whatever you please Barnes but I’m not coming,” you retorted while finishing up his coffee and sliding it across the counter over to him. “That’ll be 2.95$.”

Will Wanda come?” He didn’t attempt to grab the cup, instead he stayed rooted and looked at you.

“Don’t know. Maybe”

After that party your former roommate dragged you to, you avoided them at all costs and managed not to attend any other. Wanda sometimes came along with Pietro to get him back home after drinking too much. You considered coming along for moral support a few times but didn’t want to give Bucky the satisfaction of getting you to come. And Wanda always claimed she‘d be fine.

He leaned to take the cup of coffee and a milk pack from beside where you were standing.

“Alright well, you know where to go,” he slid over a 5$ bill. “Keep the change!” He lifted the cup a bit. “And thanks!” Giving you his signature smirk.

“Barnes that’s too much for a single coffee!” you protested and were about to collect his change but he was already halfway out of the shop.

“Keep it!” he threw over his shoulder and you looked after him a little irritated.

His persistence annoyed you to no end so why did your lips curl up in a smile, despite yourself?

****

You didn’t come.

It was nearly midnight and you found yourself nestled in your bed, the soft glow of your laptop illuminating the room as you rewatched a movie for the umpteenth time.

There probably would be a few things you’d like to do instead, but going to one of Bucky's notorious frat parties, will just never be one of them.

You couldn’t even really tell why you held such a grudge against the guy. He never really was explicitly rude or anything, yet there was something about his demeanor that rubbed you the wrong way.

Bucky Barnes had been a constant presence on campus since day one. Whether it was in the hallways or outside the building, Bucky was always surrounded by a rotating cast of admirers, girls vying for his attention. It became a familiar sight to see him engrossed in conversation with yet another girl, his charm seemingly boundless.

Amidst the flurry of attention and admiration that surrounded Bucky, there were moments when his gaze seemed to linger in your direction as if seeking to ensnare your attention as he did with others. You’d catch him looking at you in the hallways. You’d see him standing outside your lecture hall, although he didn’t even attend this class. However, you never attempted to acknowledge him and were set on keeping your distance.

In your second semester, you found yourself sharing a course with him. That was where he first initiated interactions with you. At first, it was a subtle passing glance, a nod, and a smile of acknowledgment, but soon his efforts to engage with you became more pronounced. It started with a request for notes when he wasn’t there the other day. And then there were times when you ran late and he saved you a seat beside him, sending you a wave and a charming grin.

But then you would watch him effortlessly flirt with other girls, letting them sit on his lap and whispering in their ear, you having the front row seat. You couldn’t pinpoint why his flirting with other girls left a bitter taste in your mouth, but it deepened your reservation, solidifying your decision to maintain a sense of distance.

Despite not sharing any classes with Bucky in your second year, he seemed determined not to let your lack of proximity deter his efforts to engage with you. His persistent attempts to catch your attention continued unabated - although you never gave him much to work with - seeming to find a way to cross paths with you all the time.

The first time he asked you to come to one of his frat parties, you were sitting in a small booth at a café near campus, nursing a latte and discussing your professors together with Wanda and Pietro.

You laugh. “Right? She once even gave-”

“Pietro! Hey, man,” comes his voice across the café and Bucky Barnes approaches you three.

You drop your smile and divert your attention to your latte as Bucky greets Pietro and Wanda.

“Y/n! Nice to see you.” His voice dripping with charm.

Upon hearing your name you lift your head and offer a strained smile, hoping to convey at least a semblance of politeness.

“Hi,” you answer lamely, not an ounce of enthusiasm found in your voice.

Bucky’s smirk deepens in response, a knowing glint in his eyes.

Your smile turns into a grimace.

“You coming tonight man?” he asks Pietro.

“Course Buck! I‘ll be there.”

“Great!” His attention turns to you.

“You girls are welcome too, you know.”Although addressing both, Wanda and you, he keeps his gaze on you.

“Yeah, no thanks!”

“We’ll think about it!”

Wanda sends you a glare, reminding you to stay nice. Though Bucky doesn’t seem fazed by your lack of interest, the boyish smirk still present on his lips.

“Well, I’d be happy to see you.”

You don’t even have time to answer him when a brunette, standing at the counter, calls his name.

You look in her direction though his eyes remain on you a few seconds longer until he turns away and bids his goodbye. Wanda and Pietro answer him while you remain silent, taking refuge in your coffee cup.

He was attractive, you gotta give him that but you never were someone to go after looks. There were so many more important things to see in people. Sure, you don’t know how he treated or saw his flings, or hookups, or whatever but you supposed you didn’t wanna know.

****

After you worked your ass off at the café during the weekend you were more than unpleased to be sitting in your lecture hall at 8 in the morning on a Monday. At least the bus was on time you supposed.

Wanda slid in beside you and put down a cup of coffee in front of you before unpacking her backpack.

“Oh god Wan, you’re an Angel!” You took a big sip and sighed dramatically.

Wanda snickered softly, organizing her notes.

“You know, Pietro told me someone was a bit disappointed,” she began and you looked at her confused.

“The party,” she continued but you just stared at her oblivious.

She sighed. “He hoped you’d come this time.” She studied you with a careful expression but you saw the corners of her lips turning up lightly.

You blinked. “Why would he think that?”

Wanda shrugged. “Well he’s pretty persistent,” She studied you some more and you began to feel uneasy, “You could give him a chance.”

“Huh?” you mumbled, caught off guard.

Turning toward you fully, Wanda leaned in slightly. “I don’t really know him that well, but he’s different with you. Pietro’s mentioned it. He’s never made this much effort with anyone else.“

Perplexed, you pondered her words.

“And honestly,” Wanda continued, “He’s a nice guy. I mean I get he’s got girls around all the time-”

You grimaced.

“-but he’s not the guy to lead anyone on or make someone feel worthless, I’m sure of it.”

That got you silent and you looked at her, pouting your lips in contemplation.

“He had a girlfriend once but as far as Pietro knows it didn’t end well. She moved away and they tried that long-distance relationship crap-”

You raised an eyebrow.

“-but she then started seeing someone else without telling him.”

You exhaled deeply, processing the information. “Alright well that sucks…sure…but is that a reason to use girls like that?”

“How are you so sure that’s what this is?” Wanda countered

Before you could respond, your professor arrived, saving you from further discussion. You were kinda glad he was on time cause you really had no idea how to answer that. You couldn’t know what he does with those girls. What he told them. How he treated them. How he made them feel.

Actually

You didn’t know anything about him at all.

****

Nearly two weeks had passed and you haven’t seen Bucky since he came by the café you worked at. Despite your efforts to push him out of your mind, you found yourself occasionally thinking about him or scanning the hallways for a glimpse of him.

Wanda got sick the day prior so you were sitting alone in class. After making idle conversation with some fellow students, you decided to stay back and finish up your notes.

You heard footsteps approaching but didn’t look up until someone settled beside you.

“That looks kinda complicated.”

Irritation bubbled up, but you were surprised to find you didn’t immediately feel the urge to roll your eyes all the way up to your brain at the sound of his voice. Reluctantly, you turned to face him, a sigh leaving your lips

“What are you doing here? This isn’t even your class!”

“Came looking for ya,” he replied, that familiar smirk playing on his lips.

You returned your attention back to your notes. “What for?”

“Shouldn’t you be able to tell?” He grinned and bumped your upper arm lightly.

That was the first time he initiated any form of physical contact and you weren’t sure what to make of it.

“Another party, I assume,” you remarked plainly.

“Smart girl! Missed you the last time.”

“Then have fun missing me this time as well,” you retorted, not bothering to look at him.

You felt his eyes on your profile but didn’t turn to him.

“Well just wanted to let you know you’re still on the list,” he said, his voice laced with that characteristic smirk.

That dude really wouldn’t give up, would he?

Quickly finishing your notes and packing away your things, you draped your bag over your shoulder, ready to leave the hall. As you turned to go, you glanced back at him.

“I’ll think about it,” you said, your tone dripping with sarcasm, though deep down you couldn’t deny that small part of you, that was considering his invitation this time.

****

The party started by now.

Standing in your bedroom you wavered on the threshold of the decision to go to his party or not.

You found yourself grappling with uncertainty, questioning the motivations behind your sudden inclination to attend the party. Was it a twinge of guilt for his past misfortunes that nudged you towards empathy? Or perhaps a genuine curiosity sparked by the desire to unravel the enigma of his persistent invitations?

You pondered, your thoughts swirling. Perhaps this was all a game to him? Or maybe there was something deeper, something he needed to prove to himself or to others.

Yet, the idea of subjecting yourself to potential humiliation at a frat party churned your stomach. You had no desire to be caught in the whirlwind of debauchery and recklessness.

But Wanda didn’t really make him seem like the kinda guy to pull shit like that.

Though how could she be sure?

The sudden ringing of your phone shattered the swirling thoughts that had consumed you, pulling you back to the present moment. With a grateful sigh, you glanced down at the screen, Wanda’s name lighting it up.

“Hey Wan,” you greeted her while laying back on your bed.

“Hey Y/n. I assume you’re not at the party.”

“Nope, you know me.”

“Okay well, could I ask for a favor?” Wanda’s voice held a hint of hesitation.

You sat up. “Yeah, sure Wan, what’s up?”

“Pietro will need someone to pick him up later but I’m still feeling pretty shitty at the moment and…I don’t know I was thinking maybe-“

“You’re asking me to pick him up?” you finished her sentence, sighing deeply.

“Kinda, yeah,” Wanda confirmed sheepishly.

You chuckled. “Sure, I can do that Wan, no problem.”

You could hear the relief in Wanda’s breath. “Thank you babes, I owe you! You can take his car, I’ll leave the keys under the pot outside.”

“You don’t owe me anything Wan, I’m glad I can help! You stay in bed and rest, alright? I’ll take care of your brother,” you assured her.

After exchanging a few more words, you hung up and prepared to leave. Opting for a casual outfit you threw on some wash jeans and a shirt.

Considering you spent a good amount of time on spiraling whether to go or not it got rather late already and it still would take you some time to get to Pietros car and to the party.

You grabbed the keys from under the pot, got in the car and started driving. It had been a while since you made use of your license considering you couldn’t afford your own vehicle, but you managed.

As you parked the car and stepped out onto the pavement, the distant throb of bass pulsed through the air, a tangible force that seemed to reverberate through your entire being. With each step towards the fraternity house, the music grew louder, assaulting your senses with its relentless intensity.

You walked up to the guy standing at the door with a ripped sheet of paper in his hand. You assumed that was what Bucky referred to as list.

“Hey, uh, I’m here to pick up Pietro Maximoff,” you stated, hoping to avoid being drawn into the revelry inside.

The guy’s smirk was infuriating as he chuckled dismissively. “Oh I’m sure he’s a little busy right now.”

Suppressing a sigh, you resisted the urge to roll your eyes at his remark.

“What’s your name sweetie, you could always go in and join the party.”

“Yeah no I’m fine, I’ll just-”

“Wait, are you the infamous Y/n?”

You blinked. You were not entirely used to people knowing your name. You’d like to believe you were nobody. Whether on campus nor in general. So why did this random guy know your name and call you infamous?

You didn’t have to answer, instead the guy nodded towards the door, granting you entry with a casual wave.

“Come on in, Buck will be thrilled to see you,” he remarked, stepping aside to let you pass.

Feeling utterly disoriented and out of place, you stepped inside, your senses assaulted by the overwhelming cacophony of noise and the oppressive heat of the crowded room. The stench of sweat and alcohol hung heavy in the air, causing you to wrinkle your nose in disgust. With each step, the floor seemed to cling to your shoes, a sticky reminder why you avoided this for so long.

You tried to adjust to the flickering lights and internally scolded the person who decided those colors were a good match when you heard your name be called.

“Y/n?”

You weren’t surprised to hear his voice since it was partly his party but you were surprised he recognized you this fast since you just stepped inside. Was he watching the door?

His smile greeted you as he stood before you, and you were blinded for a second there.

“You’re here!”

“Uh, well I’m kinda just here to pick up Pietro. Wanda asked me to.”

Bucky’s smile faltered slightly at your words. Clearing his throat, he offered a tentative response. “Oh. Well, haven’t seen him,” he exclaimed, his gaze momentarily flickering away before returning to meet yours.

As Pietro’s slurred voice called out your name, you turned to see your friend stumbling towards you, a wide grin plastered across his face. He draped an arm around your shoulders, and you instinctively supported him, wrapping your own arm around his waist to steady him.

“What’re you doin’ here, princessa?” Pietro slurred, his words punctuated by a drunken laugh.

You laughed. “Came here to pick you up, Piet. Wanda’s still not feeling well.”

But Pietro, clearly undeterred by your explanation, attempted to pull you along with him, his movements unsteady as he swayed on the spot within your hold.

“Let’s get you a drink, princessa,” he insisted, his grip tightening around you.

Refusing to indulge his request, you gently guided him towards the door, ignoring his protests. As you turned to leave, you caught sight of Bucky, his jaw clenched and his eyes darting away from your close proximity.

“I guess thanks for the invite Barnes but this really isn’t my scene.” You gave him a tight lipped smile and turned to Pietro again.

Meanwhile, Bucky remained rooted to the spot, his gaze fixed on the door you just disappeared behind.

****

Since that day at the party three weeks ago, Bucky had been somewhat of a ghost, disappearing from the usual campus scene. Despite not seeing him, thoughts of him seemed to linger in the back of your mind and you caught yourself looking out for him in the hallways.

You made your way to the restrooms between your two classes of the day cause you just had to drown yourself in coffee on your 4-hour shift in the café this morning.

After locking yourself in one of the cabins that still held toilet paper you heard the door to the restroom creak open and made out the hushed voices of two girls filtering in. One of them clearly crying.

“What’s wrong with me? He literally jumped in bed with every other girl on campus! Why not me?” the girl sobbed hysterically while her friend got her some paper towels from the dispenser.

You rolled your eyes at her antics and decided to just wait out until they left.

“I don’t know El, but Jake did say something about him wanting to change.” You could picture her gesturing quotation marks with her fingers at the ‘wanting to change’ part. And though you weren’t quite the type to gossip you held your breath and listened intently.

The other girl blew her nose while her friend continued.

“He hasn’t been to a party for the last, I don’t know, maybe three weeks or something. Just stayed locked in his room. That’s what Jake told me. Don’t know what to make out of it though,” the girl chuckled, “I mean it’s Bucky we’re talking about.”

As Bucky’s name entered the conversation, your ears perked up, and you felt compelled to listen. Thoughts swirl in your mind, multiplying like rabbits in a field. Was that night you picked up Pietro the last party he attended? Why the sudden disappearance into seclusion? Why would he lock himself in his room? Why did he dump that girl? You didn’t know who that Jake dude was but you weren’t sure if he was right.

You snapped out of your thoughts to catch the still crying girl whine again. “But I tried really hard Meg! I pinned notes on his locker, I smiled at him all the time, I sent him my notes from history per mail, the one time he didn’t come and I slipped my phone number into his backpack when he wasn’t looking-”

Suddenly you were grateful for standing right beside a toilet cause you felt the urge to vomit.

“-and he just straight up told me he’s not interested?!”

You heard the other girl, Meg, probably short for Meghan or something but why would you care, sigh. “I’m sorry El, but maybe he’s really just trying to become better than that.”

The crying thankfully stopped and was replaced by a scoff and an exasperated intake of breath. Personally, you’d describe it as overly dramatic but who were you to judge.

As the girls finally departed, leaving behind the remnants of their dramatic exchange, you released a sigh of relief.

After finishing what you came in here for in the first place you left the restroom as well and walked through the hallway on your way to your next class.

And as god, or the devil, or Mother Nature, or something the fuck else wouldn’t have it any other way there he was. Bucky was standing at his locker, taking a look at a pink piece of paper in his hand for only a second before crumpling it in his fist. You could only guess what it was.

He turned to the trash can to throw it in there and when he looked back up he met your gaze. His eyes lit up at seeing you, but nevertheless, you noticed the tired look he wore and couldn’t help but feel kinda bad for him.

Normally when passing Bucky in the hallway you wouldn’t spare him an attention spawn over two seconds but here you were giving him a somewhat genuine smile, a rare display of empathy, which he reciprocated immediately.

Even as you turned the corner and continued on your way, you couldn’t shake the sensation of his eyes lingering on you. You couldn’t suppress the warmth spreading in your stomach.

Bucky stopped asking you to come to his parties. As far as you knew he didn’t even attend them himself anymore. You shared with Wanda what you overheard in the restroom, and after confirming with Pietro, it became clear that Bucky was indeed making some significant changes in his lifestyle.

Bucky Barnes was truly an enigma.

Armed with insider information from Wanda, you learned that Bucky refrained from being seen with any girl for weeks and stopped planning and attending the frat parties. He seemingly even talked about leaving the fraternity altogether.

You don’t know what to do with those information but you did notice a shift yourself. You saw Bucky again two times since you passed him in the hallway a few days ago.

You were walking through the library together with Pietro and Wanda when you saw him sitting there in the far corner with his textbook open and a pencil poised. You stood and drank in the sight of him for a moment. His brows were furrowed deep in concentration and he lightly tapped his pen on his notebook rhythmically. He let his hair grow out a little, wisps falling onto his forehead. He sure as hell was a sight for sore eyes.

As if he picked up on your staring he lifted his head and looked over in your direction. The intensity of Bucky’s gaze sent a jolt through you, causing your heart to race as you hastily averted your eyes, feigning interest in the books on the nearby shelf. Despite your attempt to appear nonchalant, you could feel the warmth of his gaze lingering on you.

Stealing another glance in his direction, finding him still watching you, his soft smile a stark contrast to the cocky grin you were accustomed to. The corners of your mouth lifted ever so slightly without having your consent.

The sudden interruption of Pietro’s arm around your shoulders broke the spell between Bucky and you, snapping him out of his reverie. With a subtle shift in his posture, he straightened his back and lowered his head back to his textbook.

The other time, yesterday, you decided to join Wanda and grab something to eat at the canteen. As you stood in line with Wanda you were the one to feel eyes on you, prompting you to turn and find Bucky’s piercing blue gaze fixed on you.

Your lips curled in a smile and Bucky’s sweet grin in response sent a flutter through your chest.

To your own disappointment, you ended up sitting with your back to him throughout eating, though you pushed it aside.

****

It was a long day.

You had a shift at the café this morning and then went straight to Uni where you dragged yourself through your classes of the day. It was already starting to get dark when you walked around campus to get to your bus station.

This was your routine on Wednesdays but something felt weird. There was a shiver creeping up your spine and you tightened your coat around yourself, hugging your waist, as a response to that feeling of unease.

“Hey! Girl!”

Your heart dropped at the shout and although it came from behind you, you just knew it was meant for you. Unconsciously you picked up your pace, hugging yourself tighter and scolding yourself for not getting pepper spray.

“Hey, you! I’m talking to you!”

You heard quick footsteps approaching you from behind and let out a gasp as rough fingers grabbed onto your wrist, turning you to the man with that gruff voice.

He was tall. His beard, grizzly and grossly outgrown, held a few drops of whatever might be in the bottle he held in his other hand. His clothes were lumpy and held stains, dark eyes pierced through you.

“I’m sure you’re so kind to give a man some money for cigarettes, little girl, huh?”

You stared at the man in front of you, frozen out of fear. Your heart plummeted in your chest and you felt the hand around your wrist tightening. You swallowed thickly but your throat still felt like sandpaper. You wanted to talk but nothing left your mouth.

“Well if I don’t get money you could always pay me differently,” He licked his lips and his eyes roamed over your body. He got hold of your other wrist and you suppressed a whimper.

You wanted to yell at him to let you go. You wanted to kick him where the sun wouldn’t shine. You wanted to scream for anybody to help you. But you couldn’t. You were frozen in place, your voice lost in your throat.

“Hey!”

Another voice.

“Let her go!”

You knew this voice. It was oddly familiar, but you couldn’t comprehend how you knew it.

There was a figure approaching in long, fast strikes and you wanted to go take a look but the man still standing in front of you grabbed you even tighter, which led to another gasp exiting your lips.

You heard your name called and looked in the direction of the newcomer.

Bucky.

It was Bucky.

Relief flooded your body and you finally were able to take a controlled intake of breath again.

“Do you know this guy?” Bucky's concerned gaze bored into you and you shook your head weakly.

That’s all he needed to turn to the guy still having a hold on your wrists. “You let her go right now!” The dangerously low and calm tone of his voice and the way he was talking to you way softer just seconds before let you shiver and caused your head to spin.

The other guy scoffed and let your wrists fall to take a step back, holding his arms up in a surrendering kind of way. Bucky immediately stepped in front of you. “Relax man, did nothing to that girl!”

“You better want to stay the hell away from her or anyone else. I don’t want to see you here again!” Bucky’s voice was laced with a dark, threatening tone, his stance unwavering as he shielded you from the menacing stranger. Despite the age difference, Bucky’s intimidation factor was undeniable.

Said man scoffed and stumbled away a little. Bucky kept watching him till he was out of sight and turned to you in an instant. Not sure if you were okay to be touched, his hands hovered over your arms as he leaned down to catch your eye, his concern evident in every gesture.

“Hey, Y/n, are you okay?”

Your gaze remained fixated on his collarbone, unable to meet his eyes. Absentmindedly, you rubbed the wrist of your right wrist, where the man had gripped you, feeling the tenderness and likely bruises forming there.

“Doll please look at me!” he pleaded, though you remained stoic, your emotions tightly locked away. His worry was palpable, evident in the furrow of his brows and the hesitant hover of his hands, unsure of how to comfort you.

“Eyes up here sweetheart, please!” His voice was softer than you’ve ever heard. Slowly, almost reluctantly, you lifted your head, allowing your gaze to trail up his face until your eyes met his. There was a hint of panic in his expression, his eyes searching yours with such urgency, that it was almost overwhelming. You felt a lump form in your throat at the raw emotion reflected in his blue orbs.

“That’s it doll! Just like that!” He let out a breath of relief but never took his eyes off of you. He signaled to your wrists without breaking eye contact. “Can I take a look?”

You swallowed thickly, your throat tight with emotion, but you gave a slight nod, granting Bucky permission to inspect your wrists. Gently he took your right hand in his left, lifting your sleeve with the other to reveal the red and purple marks beneath. His touch was featherlight as he trailed his fingertips over your sensitive skin, but when you recoiled slightly, he pulled back immediately, murmuring an apology.

With your eyes trained on your wrist, you felt Bucky's finger under your chin to tilt your head up gently, coaxing you to look at him once more. “I’ve got you doll, okay? He’s gone. It’s alright!” he reassured you, a hint of fury underlying his voice as he recalled the man who caused you harm and left you in this state.

Taking a hesitant hold of your hand once again, Bucky brushed his thumb soothingly over the back, his eyes never leaving yours as he watched you intently.

Despite your curt nod, you found yourself avoiding his gaze once more.

“I know it’s hard sweetheart but I really need you to say something. Need to make sure you’re okay. Can you do that for me?” Bucky’s voice was filled with gentleness, patience, and genuine concern, causing a lump to form in your throat.

Taking a deep breath, you mustered the strength to look at him again, your eyes glazed from the overwhelming emotions consuming you.

“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible, but Bucky heard you.

He squeezed your hand lightly and rubbed his other hand along your upper arm. “No need to thank me, sweetheart! I’m glad I was there!”

“Me too,” you found yourself saying, unable to hold back the gratitude flooding your heart. It was a miracle that Bucky showed up at the right moment, and you will forever be grateful for his intervention. The thought of what could have happened if he hadn’t been there sent a shiver down your spine.

The corners of his mouth turned up slightly and he watched you with such fondness and adoration, your knees grew weak. You even managed to muster a small smile in return.

You took a deep, shuddering breath in, feeling the awkwardness settling in as you realized you had never been that close to Bucky before. Although you felt surprisingly grounded in his presence, you couldn’t shake the discomfort of the situation.

Releasing his hand, you rubbed your forehead, avoiding his gaze as you tried to find the right words. “Uhm...thank you, Bucky, really, but I think I’m just gonna…,” you trailed off, gesturing towards the bus stop in the near distance.

“Woah hold on now doll! I’m not gonna let you go home alone!” Bucky protested, shaking his head.

“It’s fine Barnes really! I’m just gonna call Wanda or Pietro. Surely one of them can come pick me up,” you didn’t really consider calling them but you’d feel bad for inconveniencing Bucky when he would be at his flat in a few minutes himself.

But Bucky was determined.

“No need to call them. I’ll drive you! Sam has a car and we’re just, like, two minutes away,” he pleaded, gaze so intense, almost forcing you to look away.

You sighed, feeling torn. “That’s really nice but I don’t wanna bother you furthermo-”

“Y/n you’re not bothering me! Never! Now please let me do this. Let me take you home,” he interrupted gently but firmly, his grip on your elbow a reassuring presence. You tried to conceal your lingering stress, but nothing could hide it from him.

“I-I can’t ask you to do that,” you murmured, your eyes shifting.

“I’m the one asking sweetheart. Please let me drive you home.” His eyes were hard to discern in the dim light, but the sincerity and concern in his voice were unmistakable.

With a sigh and a final look at the bus stop, you nodded slowly. “Okay,” you whispered.

A smile spread on Bucky's face and he gently turned the hand on your elbow to the small of your back to lead you to the flat house.

As you approached the building, you recognized it from the brief time you spent at the party. However, without the thumping bass, overpowering smell of alcohol, and chaotic atmosphere, the place appeared surprisingly cozy in the dim light

Never once leaving contact with your back he guided you to a room at the end of the hallway. He knocked on the door softly.

“Took your sweet time man-” a guy - Sam, you assumed him to be - standing in the doorframe, stopped talking upon noticing you. A slow smile curled upon his lips. “Can see why.”

“It’s not how it looks like,” Bucky hissed quickly, talking through his teeth. “Can I borrow your car?”

“Sure, man,” confirmed Sam, reaching for a key from a hook beside the door. “Don’t be too late for class tomorrow,” he added with a wink.

A lump formed in your throat as you grappled with your thoughts. It was natural to assume Bucky would have certain expectations given his reputation. After all, he was known for his past behavior of sleeping around. The transformation he seemingly went through couldn’t happen overnight, after all.

You found it hard to believe that Bucky would take advantage of your vulnerability, especially considering how he came to your rescue during the unsettling encounter just moments before. Yet, despite this reassurance, your mind continued to wrestle with uncertainty, plagued by lingering doubts and fears.

Bucky could feel you tense beside him and shot daggers at Sam even when said guy already disappeared behind the door.

As he walked you to Sam’s car, Bucky held the door open for you, guiding you inside with gentle reassurance. Determined not to leave you alone for too long, he rushed around the front of the car to take the driver’s seat.

During the drive, silence filled the car as you tried to calm your breathing, focusing on the passing scenery outside the window. Your efforts to quell your anxiety were hardly manageable, due to the bouncing of your leg and your trembling hands, fiddling with the fabric of your jacket.

Bucky discreetly stole glances at you as he drove, noticing your nervousness.

15 minutes of driving later, Bucky came to a halt in front of your apartment complex. You unbuckled yourself and before you realized what was going on Bucky opened the door at your side. You didn’t even notice him getting out of the car.

Feeling weak in your knees you got out of the car. Bucky walked you to your door, hands held by his side in case you needed him and his presence offered you a sense of comfort. As you came to a halt in front of your door, you turned your body to him, trying to muster up a smile. You attempted to convey your gratitude although that unease still lingered in your bones.

“Thank you, Barnes! For everything!”

“No need to thank me, Y/n. I’m glad I could help. Will you be okay though?” His concern was genuine, struggling to leave your side.

He looked so hesitant to leave you, it would have been adorable in other circumstances. You felt guilty for entertaining the thought he would take advantage of your situation. You even believed he would be relieved if you asked him to stay with you. You had to admit, the comfort his presence gave you was easing your anxiety, though you couldn’t ask him to stay.

You conjured up a smile. “I’ll be fine,” you assured him, unlocking your door. Bucky stayed rooted on the spot, returning an unsure smile, looking torn. “I’m gonna be okay, really! Get home safe, Barnes.”

Bucky cleared his throat, evading his eyes for a moment and taking a reluctant step backward, but he remained turned to you. After exchanging a quick goodbye you disappeared behind your door.

Bucky watched you climb the stairs through the small window in the door, his gaze unwavering even as the hallway inside turned dark again. He remained rooted outside, his thoughts consumed by concern for your well-being.

Bucky couldn’t shake the desire to talk to you again, especially since that night at the party. He tried so hard to muster up the courage, never having a problem in that department before, but he was a nervous wreck. Now, in an unexpected turn of events he did get to talk to you again, however, he despised how it had unfolded. Seeing you struggle to hold back tears, desperately trying not to break down in front of him, pained him deeply. It hurt to witness your shock, pleading with you to snap out of your state.

The thought of what could have happened if he hadn’t returned, if he hadn’t forgotten his notebook, made him feel sick to his stomach. The mere idea of leaving you to face that situation alone was unbearable to him. Now leaving you alone so shaken felt inherently wrong in any sense, but he acknowledged he didn’t know you well enough to override your request that you would be fine. His instincts urged him to stay but he had to respect your words and your space.

Bucky seethed at the thought of Sam insinuating that he would use you in such a way. Sure, Sam didn’t know what happened to you and it wasn’t his fault Bucky had a reputation like that, but somehow it made him angry. You meant more to him than that. The mere suggestion of exploiting you for his own gain left a bitter taste in his mouth, and he silently vowed to prove Sam wrong by showing you the genuine depth of his feelings and intentions.

Girls constantly approached Bucky, attempting to touch him in the hallways or slipping their phone numbers into his locker, backpack, or books. Just the other day, a particularly bold girl even tried to write her number on his hand. Although she didn’t succeed, Bucky found himself standing in front of the sink for a while, scrubbing at his hand to erase any trace of her advances.

Bucky knew that he was viewed as nothing more than a means for physical pleasure. And he was okay with that, for an embarrassingly long time. The idea of being in a committed relationship and facing the responsibilities that came with it used to repulse him. His desires were simple - a brief encounter with no strings attached, followed by a swift departure, leaving no room for emotional entanglements. At a certain time, one smirk of a pretty girl was enough to jump into bed with her.

You were pretty too. Beautiful even. He acknowledged that day one. But never did he consider reducing you to a mere physical encounter. He noticed you in the hallways and felt intrigued, contemplating flirting with you just like he did with all the other girls. However, there was something different about you. He felt nervous around you, realizing that he cared about your opinion of him more than he cared to admit. He was strangely exhilarated at finding out you would share a class in second semester, trying to find a way to build some kind of connection with you.

That night, as you expressed your disinterest in frat parties, he felt the pull you had on him, without even knowing you well. The alcohol at the party suddenly tasted sour, the air felt stifling, the crowd too dense, the music too deafening, and the girls vying for his attention became an unwelcome intrusion. Their advances left him feeling an overwhelming sense of distress.

He found himself longing to leave his old reputation behind. He wanted something meaningful, something real, and the only person he could imagine it being with was you.

But right now?

Bucky’s heart sank as he got back to Sam’s car, feeling the strong urge to stay with you and ensure your safety. Sitting in front of the steering wheel and staring at your building, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he should be by your side.

You got stuck in your head after examining your bruised wrists and trying to cool down the swelling with an ice pack. Before your panic attack rendered you useless to do anything you managed to call Wanda and she talked you through it. You stayed on the phone with her until you fell asleep.

****

As you woke up, a familiar sense of unease settled over you, accompanied by trembling hands and a racing heart. The thought of facing another day filled with potential triggers made you hesitate. You did want to attend class, unfortunately though the looming threat of another panic attack weighed heavily on your mind. With a sigh, you made the decision to prioritize your well-being and called in sick, sending a text to Wanda to let her know.

As said girl joined you later, bearing notes and takeout, you found solace in her company on your small couch, eating and talking.

“So uhm,” Wanda began, seemingly nonchalant, but you knew her better than that, ears perking up. “I wasn’t sure if I should tell you but after Science class, I met Bucky waiting outside the hall. He was looking for you.”

Your chewing slowed as you processed her words, eyebrows knitting together, looking at her.

“He came up to me, to ask where you were and if you were okay.”

You swallowed, a wave of panic surged within you. “You didn’t tell him-”

“No! No, of course not,” she interjected you hastily, words tumbling over each other in her haste to reassure you. “I just told him you weren’t feeling well and called in sick but I don’t think he really bought that.” Her smile was sympathetic.

Your appetite forgotten you let your fork clatter into the plastic container, your forehead finding its way to the backside of the couch with a groan of frustration.

Wanda’s light chuckle broke through your troubled thoughts. “He also asked me for your number,” she revealed, her tone surprisingly casual given the weight of her words.

“What?” Your head snapped up, eyes widening in disbelief.

“Didn’t give it to him, don’t worry, though I kinda felt bad for the guy. He looked miserable.” Her voice tinged with sympathy.

Taking a deep breath, you attempted to calm the whirlwind of emotions swirling within you. Gratitude mingled with apprehension as you recalled Bucky’s unexpected kindness during yesterday’s ordeal. You remembered how his proximity seemed to ground you, warmth spreading through your body at the comfort he provided. You could still feel the lingering sensation of his hand on your back, even a day later. And yet, the intensity of those feelings scared you, threatening to unravel the carefully constructed walls you had built around your heart.

“Hey,” Wanda called out softly, her words carrying a gentle insistence. “He genuinely seemed worried. And I’m not trying to get you to befriend him or whatever but…he really is a nice guy, Y/n.”

Your gaze was fixed on Wanda, contemplation furrowing your brow.

“Listen, I don’t know what your problem is with Bucky, but-” she gave you a careful glance, “-if I’m being honest, I don’t think you know it either sweetie.”

Wanda’s words resonated with a truth you had been reluctant to acknowledge. Bucky’s genuine concern had managed to pierce through the barriers you had erected, leaving you grappling with conflicting emotions. Why did you hold onto this grudge so tightly? Was it merely a shield against vulnerability?

As you reflected on Bucky’s actions, a sense of clarity washed over you. There was truly no valid reason to hold onto the grudge you had harbored against him. He truly had consistently shown kindness and concern towards you.

Recalling the instances where he had gone out of his way to make you comfortable, a wave of gratitude washed over you. From saving you a seat in class to rescuing you from a precarious situation with a homeless man to checking in on your well-being through Wanda, Bucky had proven himself to be a decent and caring person.

With a newfound perspective, you realized that perhaps it was time to give him a change.

****

The bus was late, as usual. Today, though, you couldn’t summon the energy to care. Your mind was still swirling with thoughts, and fatigue weighed heavily on you.

Wanda saved you a seat in class, checking in on you again and although you felt way better than yesterday, you couldn’t concentrate. The voice of your professor was merely a blurred murmur in the back of your mind.

With some time to kill before your next class, you and Wanda decided to grab a coffee. However, you barely made it out of your lecture hall before hearing your name called.

Heaving a sigh, you turned around and came face to face with an approaching Bucky.

He came to a halt, looking a little sheepish now that he was standing in front of you. With his hands stuffed in his pockets, and his hair a little disheveled, he cleared his throat, seemingly unsure of where to begin.

“I’ll head out already, Y/n. Take your time.” Wanda spoke up, giving you a quick hug before passing by Bucky and throwing you a wink over her shoulder.

Bucky cleared his throat again, shuffling on his feet a little before meeting your eyes. “So, uhm, are you okay?”

A soft smile tugged at the corners of your mouth, touched by his concern. “I’m fine,” you assured him, fidgeting with your fingers. “Thank you, again!” You added quietly.

He waved away your gratitude with a casual gesture. “No need to thank me doll. I’m glad I could help.”

He smiled softly, biting his lip, though there was a hint of something more in his expression. Sensing he still had something on his mind, trying to figure out how to say it, you remained silent.

“Listen, uh...,” he began, clenching his jaw and avoiding eye contact. “I wanted to apologize for…well for being pushy about the parties and all. Shouldn’t have bothered you like that.”

You blinked, taken aback by his unexpected apology. “Oh, uhm…it’s okay Barnes, really.”

He shook his head, letting out a breath. “Nah, it’s not. This isn’t your scene, should have respected that.” He opened his mouth again but closed it right after, swallowing.

“Don’t worry about it Barnes, it’s alright, seriously.” A tinge of disappointment lingered within you. The realization hit you, that without his invitations to parties, he might not seek you out as often. He only ever did, when asking you to come to his parties. So it would mean he might not annoyingly interrupt you in class, or approach you on campus anymore. You scolded yourself for feeling that way but you somehow didn’t want to lose that.

Needing to take hold of your thoughts, you wanted to get away from here. Your lips curled in a smile. “Alright, uhm, Wanda’s probably waiting for me so-” You were about to turn away but Bucky called your name again.

“Hey, uh-” he seemed nervous, his voice wavering slightly and he cleared his throat, a hand coming up to run through his hair. “You could always come to me - I mean, the frat - when you’re here late. I can always drive you again. Make sure you get home safe.”

He felt bad for bringing up the topic again, but he wanted you to know that he genuinely cared and would feel better if you reached out to him. He would gladly drive you home again, hoping you’d consider taking him up on his offer.

Surprised once more, you blinked at him, processing his offer. You mustered up a smile. “That’s nice, really Barnes, but I think I’ll be okay.”

“Alright, well, just know that I’ll be there if you change your mind,” Bucky replied, his tone sincere, expression soft.

You smiled again, nodded, and bid him goodbye.

Reflecting on the interaction, you couldn’t help but agree with Wanda. Bucky Barnes was a decent guy, held back by his reputation.

****

Sunlight streamed through the windows of the library, casting warm beams that danced upon the wooden tables and bookshelves. It was a stark contrast to the earlier rain, which had cloaked the world outside in a shroud of grey.

The faint whispers of fellow students, the gentle rustle of pages, and the occasional creak of wooden chairs created a soothing ambiance while you browsed through your textbook.

A groan from beside you, however, interrupted that. You lifted your head, diverting your attention to your friend sitting beside you.

“Why is all the information so scattered? Can’t find shit for this stupid paper.” Wanda exclaimed, her brow furrowed in frustration as she stared at her laptop screen.

As you chuckled and leaned in to help Wanda navigate through the vast sea of information on the internet, a sudden gust of wind sent a shiver down your spine, causing you to instinctively turn your head towards the entrance of the library. In walked Bucky, accompanied by the familiar figure of Sam. You quickly averted your gaze, not wanting to be caught staring.

In the two weeks since your conversation, there had been a palpable change in the air whenever Bucky and you crossed paths. And that was a lot. You haven’t necessarily exchanged words but you grew more enthusiastic when seeing him, sending a smile his way, which he reciprocated immediately.

You were sitting in a café last week, nursing a latte, while having light conversation with Wanda and Pietro, as you recognized Bucky standing at the counter. Without thinking you lifted your hand and waved at him when he looked in your direction. His face lit up, crinkles forming at the corners of his eyes as he smiled and eagerly waved back. He seemed to contemplate walking over to you, your hopes rising for a second, but his name called by the barista snapped his head away from you. After getting his coffee he sent another smile your way but left the café. Wanda and Pietro wasted no time in teasing you mercilessly after he was out of sight. The blush on your cheeks evidence of your embarrassment.

“God, this is getting ridiculous,” Wanda scoffed, amusement lacing her features. You turned to her, a hint of confusion littering your features, oblivious to what she was referring to. She nodded subtly to the side, her attention still fixed on her laptop screen. Following her nod, you spotted Bucky and Sam standing in the near distance, both seemingly focused in your direction.

Sam's face lit up with a mischievous grin and he started walking toward you girls, clapping Bucky on the back. Bucky looked visibly distressed, running a hand through his hair, before following behind.

Sam took a seat in front of Wanda and you, his toothy smile lighting up his face. “Ladies,” he acknowledged playfully.

Wanda laughed, continuing to type on her laptop. “What do you want Wilson?” she asked teasingly.

Sam leaned back in his chair, his grin widening. “Just wanted to say hi,” he replied casually, shrugging his shoulders.

Meanwhile, Bucky took a seat next to Sam, looking a little awkward. He shuffled a little, leaning his elbows onto the table.

“Well hi, then,” Wanda said, finally looking up.

As Sam and Wanda dove into a discussion about their research papers, exchanging ideas and sharing insights, Bucky and you found yourselves stealing glances at each other.

There was a warmth in Bucky’s eyes, a softness you still were trying to get accustomed to. You felt a flutter of excitement in your chest, you didn’t even try to suppress.

Bucky cleared his throat, looking solely at you. “What’s your paper about?” he asked, his voice gentle yet filled with curiosity.

You smiled, grateful for the new opportunity to engage him in conversation. “I’m researching the impact of technology on interpersonal relationships,” you replied, the initial awkwardness fading away.

Bucky nodded, his interest piqued. With that you delved into a light conversation, discussing your topic in more detail, diving into the various aspects you were exploring and the questions you hoped to answer. Bucky’s gaze never wavered, his attention fully captivated by your words. You noticed that whenever you tried to turn the conversation back to him, Bucky seemed more interested in talking about you.

As the conversation between Bucky and you flowed effortlessly, you found yourselves delving into deeper topics. Bucky’s genuine curiosity about you as a person was evident, and you felt a surge of warmth spreading throughout your body at his interest in getting to know you better. He asked about your hobbies, your favorite books, your dreams for the future - anything and everything he could think of to get to know you better. A spark elicited in Bucky’s eyes at some point, as if he found something in your words that resonated with him on a deeper level.

It felt like you talked to Bucky for hours though it couldn’t have been more than half an hour. The presence of Wanda and Sam had long faded into the background, as Bucky and you connected. To your disappointment, Sam and Bucky had another class and bid you girls goodbye, wishing you good luck with your papers furthermore.

Wanda held her mouth after they left but the knowing smirk in her glance spoke volumes.

****

Weeks passed in a blissful blur. Your encounters with Bucky on campus evolved into something more than just brief exchanges. Conversations became the norm, each one stretching longer than the last, until you found yourself losing track of time altogether, arriving late to class oftentimes. Whenever your schedules allowed it, Wanda and you would meet up with Bucky and Sam to grab some coffee.

The soft smiles filled with adoration that Bucky sent your way didn’t go unnoticed, even when he thought you weren’t looking. You also noticed the little gestures, the quick hugs, he never seemed to pull away from fist, the hover of his hand over your back when walking around campus with you. He pulled you closer to his side a few days ago, his hand gently gripping the sleeve of your jacket as you navigated through the crowded hallway. Your heart skipped a beat at that.

And then there were moments when he seemed on the verge of saying something before parting ways, his lips parting as if he wanted to speak his mind, but then thinking better of it and closing his mouth with a clear of his throat and a hand running through his brown locks. His former cockiness seemed to have given way to a newfound shyness. He was holding back, afraid to cross some invisible line but you didn’t know how to approach him on that.

You also didn’t know if you eventually could cross a line at this moment. Darkness enveloped the campus, casting eerie shadows that danced in the dim light of the flickering lampposts. Wanda and Pietro were out of town and you decided to stay a little longer and finish up your notes. A bad move on your part.

The once bustling grounds now lay deserted, devoid of the usual throngs of students. A sense of unease settled in the pit of your stomach, gnawing at you with every step. The silence was deafening, broken only by the occasional rustle of leaves in the wind or the distant hum of a passing car. Every shadow seemed to hold a hidden threat, every rustle of the wind a whisper of danger.

You were thinking about the offer Bucky had made you a few weeks ago to go by his flat and let him drive you home again. You considered going to him but although he had made you that offer you didn’t want to inconvenience him. And just walking to his flat and asking him to drive you home? It seemed weird. But as your anxiety intensified and your hands started to tremble, you found yourself walking towards his flat on autopilot. The memory of your previous panic attack loomed large in your mind, threatening to engulf you once again.

There was a guy standing in the doorway with a cigarette in hand. You were approaching cautiously, not sure if this was a good idea.

“Hey, you lost?”

The sound of the stranger’s voice jolted you out of your anxious reverie, pulling you back to the present, momentarily breaking the spell of fear that had gripped you.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves as you responded. “Uhm, actually I wanted...to Bucky.” Your voice wavered slightly, betraying the uncertainty that still lingered within you.

The stranger raised an eyebrow, eyeing you curiously as he took a drag from his cigarette. “Huh,” he muttered, looking you up and down. “Guy hasn’t had a girl over in weeks.”

You cleared your throat, too caught up in your own anxious thoughts to care about the stranger’s assumptions.

“Well, is he here?”

He nodded, a sly smirk forming on his lips. “Up the stairs, last door to the left,” he replied, gesturing vaguely in the direction of the staircase.

With a weak “thank you” you stepped past him and walked up the stairs, your heart pounding in your chest.

You stood in front of his door, staring at it long enough to notice the cracks in the woods, marring it’s surface, splinters standing out. Your lip was held in a death grip, teeth biting down on it. With a hesitant breath, you finally mustered up the courage to give the door a soft knock, the sound echoing faintly in the empty hallway. As you withdrew your hand you hid the shakiness in the folds of your sleeves.

There was a groan on the other side of the door, as response to your knock. A lump burned in your throat and you played with the thought to just bold out of that house again when you heard the doorknob turning.

“Sam, come on man-” Bucky stopped talking abruptly upon seeing you. His eyes grew wide, eyebrows shooting up, surprise clear as day upon his face.

“Y/n? I-Wow, uh, I didn’t expect you here,” Bucky stammered, shuffling on his feet with his hand running through his disheveled hair in a futile attempt to compose himself. If your mind wouldn’t have been occupied with other things right now you would have found him adorable with his crinkled shirt loosely hugging his frame and hanging over some dark sweatpants, his unruly hair and flushed cheeks. But all you could do was swallow that burning sensation in your throat.

“Uhm,” you choked out, looking at you feet. “I-I’m sorry for bothering you, I just…I didn’t-”

“Hey, hey, doll, it’s alright,” he met you in the hallway, a hand coming up to your upper arm in a sense of urgency. He hooked his finger under your chin to lift your head. You met his eyes, your heart leaving your chest altogether. His face was twisted in worry, brows furrowed deeply, eyes so focused on you, the intensity of it washed over you like a wave. Your breaths still came in too elated, heart beating erratically. “Take some deep breaths for me sweetheart, follow my lead, come on.” He urged you softly.

With Bucky’s guidance, you focused on your breathing, drawing in slow, steady inhalations and exhaling the tension that had taken hold of your body. His thumb continued to trace soothing circles on his skin. As you followed Bucky’s lead, the erratic beat of your heart gradually slowed to a more steady rhythm.

“Atta girl, that’s it!” he whispered, rubbing his other hand up and down your arm. He nodded at you to keep breathing, eyes so intense it was the only thing you could focus on.

Standing directly in front of you and focusing on your eyes, he let your chin up to gently grab your other arm. “You wanna tell me what happened?” His low and gentle tone soothing you.

You took a deep breath, feeling ridiculous out of a sudden to stand here and burden him. “I-My bus didn’t come and-and I don’t know, I got scared I guess and…God I’m sorry Bucky I shouldn’t have come I-”

“Hold on a sec doll,” he interjected, brows pulled together further, concern dripping from his words. “You stayed on campus until now?” A confirming but weak nod of you let Bucky heave a breath. “There’s no need to apologize, sweetheart, I told you you could come, didn’t I? And god help me, I’m glad you did.”

He looked pained to some extent, but mustered up a warm smile. You bit the inside of your cheek, eyes still shifting with uncertainty and your hands were still secured in your sleeves, the nagging thought that you were burdening him still lingering at the back of your mind. Your tense posture didn’t go unnoticed by Bucky and he pulled you in his embrace, engulfing you in a warm hug. He never hugged you like that before but with the way his arms around you tightened and he leaned his head against yours, he supposedly wanted to.

As Bucky held you close, his warm breath tickling your ear and sending shivers down your spine, he whispered words of comfort and reassurance that washed over you like a gentle breeze. You couldn’t quite make out what he was saying, all you could do was melt into his embrace and let the soothing cadence of his voice and the tenderness in his touch ease the knots of anxiety that had gripped your chest.

Bucky withdrew slightly to look at you again, his gaze filled with affection and tenderness. “You want me to drive you home, doll?” he whispered, maintaining the close proximity you two harbored.

As you pondered his question, conflicted emotions swirled within you. Initially, you had sought Bucky out precisely for this reason - to ask for a ride home. But now, something had shifted. The idea of being dropped off alone at home felt less appealing. Wanda and Pietro were likely unavailable, and you hesitated to inconvenience anyone else. Yet, the thought of being alone right now was equally unsettling.

Sensing your hesitation, Bucky gently lifted your head again with his finger under your chin, guiding your gaze to meet his. There was a soft smile you came face to face with. “Sam’s not here for tonight…Do you wanna stay? It’s just us.”

The offer was tempting, but you couldn’t shake the worry of being a bother. “That’s nice Bucky, but I-I don’t want to intrude,” you murmured, matching his quiet tone.

“You’d never intrude, sweetheart! Don’t ever worry about that, alright?” His hand found its way to the small of your back, guiding you into his room.

You settled on his bed as he led you there and couldn’t help but steal a glance around the room. It was surprisingly tidy, save for a small pile of clothes scattered on the floor. Overall, the atmosphere felt organized and put together. Your eyes drifted to his desk - again, neatly arranged - where a framed picture caught your attention. In it was a clearly younger Bucky, with chubby cheeks and a toothy grin. Standing behind him was a man who bore a striking resemblance to him, his father you guessed. A woman was beside him, dark hair in a bun atop her head and a radiant smile, presumably his mother. Cradled in the woman’s arms was a little girl, short brunette hair a little disheveled, and with a pacifier in her mouth but a joyful grin on her face.

A soft smile tugged at your lips as you took in the sight of his family. While Bucky had mentioned having a sister during your conversation in the library a few weeks ago, he had never shown you pictures before.

Bucky entered your field of vision, settling down beside you with a glass of water in hand. He held it out to you and you thanked him gratefully, taking a sip.

You felt Bucky shifting beside you, wiping his hands on his sweatpants, betraying his nervousness. “Do you-” His voice was raspy and he cleared his throat, starting again, “Do you need anything? Are you hungry? Can I get you something?”

You huffed out a laugh, throwing him a grateful smile. “I’m good, Bucky, thank you!”

A hesitant hand came to rest on your knee. “You let me know if there’s something, alright?”

“Will do, Buck!”

He gave you a look. “I mean it, doll!”

You chuckled, being surprised by how easily Bucky managed to ground you, getting you out of your nervous spiraling. “I know, Barnes.”

Bucky watched you, own lips curled in a soft smile. You returned his gaze, warmth spreading through you at the sparkle in his eyes. His hand remained secure on your knee, his thumb tracing gentle circles on your jeans, a gesture that made you yearn for his touch on your skin instead. The amount of adoration twinkling in his gaze made you weak. Seconds ticked by and you still were looking at each other. There was something in his blue speckles that couldn’t bring yourself to look anywhere else. A magnetic pull you were drawn to, holding you captive. You noticed his blues flicker down to your lips for a brief moment, and in response, your own eyes permitted themselves to wander to his. The movement of his thumb stilled on your leg, his hand laying flat and you could feel him leaning in.

Bucky often found himself lost in thoughts about kissing you. When the urge washed over him he imagined leaning in and capturing your lips with his own. But he had always held back, hesitant to take that final step without knowing if you wanted it too.

One time, when you two were walking together through campus, the wind was relentless, whipping your hair around your face as you tried in vain to tame it. Despite your efforts though, the wind was hard to go against and after the fifth failed attempt at trying to tame your hair, you started laughing, Bucky joining in. As he watched you, your hair obscuring your view, he couldn’t help the warmth swelling in his heart, the fondness that made his smile ache in his cheeks at the sight of your laughter. He found himself wishing to pull you close, to gently brush the strands of hair away from your face, and to kiss you with all the pent-up longing he felt. In that moment, all he wanted was to express the depth of his feelings for you in a kiss that would leave you breathless.

He often daydreamed about kissing you in the library. Surrounded by the soft glow of sunlight streaming through the windows, you sat immersed in your studies, your face illuminated by the gentle light. You looked so beautiful, all he could do was admire you. If only you had lifted your head from your notebook, you would have seen the adoring smile that graced his lips. He longed to express his affection for you in the form of a tender kiss, holding you close and sharing a moment of intimacy amidst the quiet serenity of the library. But he couldn’t do that, so he took the chance and admired you from afar.

But the one time he almost really did it was the time you called him ‘Bucky’ for the first time.

You sit in your usual café, nursing a large cup of coffee, the rich aroma wafting up to greet you with each sip. Bucky is seated in front of you, idly fiddling with the sugar packages stored in a box on the table. Your notebook lies open in front of you, pages filled with scribbled notes from your recent class.

After class, Bucky had caught up with you, asking what you were up to. You had mentioned grabbing a coffee and finishing up some notes, and he had decided to tag along. However, as you now sit together in the cozy café, it seems Bucky isn’t entirely pleased with the lack of attention you’re giving him, his relentlessness evident as he fidgets with the sugar packets in front of him.

He grumpily rearranges the sugar packages for the fourth time, his irritation palpable as you remain engrossed in your writing. You hear the crinkle of a sugar packet being opened.

“I don’t need any more sugar in my coffee, Barnes,” you warn him teasingly, without lifting your head from your notebook.

“Everyone needs a little sweetness in their life, doll!” he retorts with a knowing grin, tossing you a wink as you glance back at him. With a mischievous smirk, he lets the sugar cascade into your cup.

“Whatever you say,” you reply with a laugh in your breath, shaking your head in amusement before returning your focus to your notes.

You hear him open another package and let out a sigh. “You better not do that,” you warn again, eyes not lifting.

Another rip of a sugar packet catches your attention, and you perk up to see Bucky holding both open packages over your cup, letting the sugar pour in.

“Bucky!” you exclaim, the volume of your voice drawing glances from other café patrons, but you’re too focused on the playful banter to acknowledge them. “God, I can’t believe you did that,” you groan, pulling your cup closer to your side, in mock exasperation.

As your gaze locks with his, you’re prepared to scold him further but the look on his face catches you off guard. His eyes are wide, mouth agape, morphing into a beaming smile, white teeth on display.

Your eyebrows shoot up in confusion. “What?”

“Thought I’d never get to hear you say it, doll,” Bucky laughs out, eyes sparking.

“What did I say?” you ask, puzzled by his reaction.

He leans forward, elbows resting on the table while his eyes remain fixed on you. That beaming smile is still plastered on his face, and his blue orbs seem to glow with amusement, sparking brighter than usual.

“You called me Bucky,” he points out, his voice tings with delight.

You took a deep breath in, regretting your slip-up. “Shit, I guess I did.”

Bucky now crosses his arms over his chest, leaning against the back of his seat. He doesn’t seem able to stop the smile on his face. “If all it took was to annoy you then Imma keep doing that from now on,” he declared with a playful glint in his eyes.

Head in your hands you let out a groan. Bucky barks out a laugh in front of you and you reluctantly lift your head to look at him. You point a finger at him. “I’ll keep calling you Bucky, if you stop being annoying!” you propose, trying to stay serious but not being able to stop the corners of your mouth from lifting.

“Can’t say no to that,” Bucky conceded, smile growing fond, affection radiating from him in waves.

He never stopped annoying you but you kept calling him Bucky.

But now, as he sat in front of you, his hand resting on your leg, Bucky felt the familiar urge resurface. You were in his room, smiling at him, looking so beautiful, it took his breath away. Yet, despite the overwhelming desire, he knew he would never take that final step without your explicit consent, considering the circumstances you were here right now. Your state earlier left him uneasy and a nagging guilt was gnawing within him, thinking about that night he had driven you home and then left you alone that shaken. So he needed you to want this, to be sure you were okay. He felt sick at the thought of taking advantage of you in any way.

Thus, he did lean in but didn’t go further than a few inches, giving you the opportunity to make the next move or the space to show him you weren’t ready for that.

Your eyes darted to his lips once more, leaning in yourself. Your foreheads touched after some moments, noses brushing and you saw Bucky’s eyes flutter close, still not moving further. You took a few seconds before closing the gap and pressing your lips to his. Bucky let out a breath through his nose, slowly moving his lips in sync with yours. Again, he let you lead the kiss. His other hand made his way up to your face, the gentle touch of his fingertips brushing over your skin before tenderly cradling your cheek.

Eventually, you pulled away, opening your eyes but staying close to his face. Your hazy smile mirrored his, and he pulled your head back slowly, pressing a kiss to your forehead before looking back at you, fondness clear on his features. “Are you okay?” he whispered, his fingers still caressing your cheek as his intense eyes locked on yours.

You nodded, your voice barely above a whisper as you held his gaze. “Yeah.”

After a few tender moments of loving touches and whispered assurances, Bucky handed you a change of clothes and let you use the bathroom.

Emerging from the bathroom, you were now dressed in a pair of his black shorts and a shirt, the fabric enveloping you in Bucky’s comforting scent. It made your stomach do flips, feeling at ease. A soft smile graced your lips as you took in the familiar aroma.

“I got another blanket, in case you got cold…,” he trailed off as he caught sight of you. His eyes swept up and down your figure, admiring how his clothes draped over your form. Though you couldn’t quite read his expression, the slight blush coloring his cheeks was enough to make you smile sheepishly in response. Bucky cleared his throat - he did that a lot around you - and turned away a little, composing himself.

There wasn’t much space in his bed you recognized as you settled in, but somehow you didn’t mind that much. Bucky sat down on the bed, looking troubled.

“Buck? Something wrong?”

Bucky took a breath, shaking his head slightly. “No,” he breathed out, an inner turmoil in his eyes, “I just…I can sleep in Sams’ bed. Maybe tha-”

“Hey,” you interrupted him softly, “I don’t mind Bucky, really! We can share.” He didn’t look convinced so you sat up straighter and heaved a breath, trying again. “And it would make me feel better,” you admitted quietly.

That did him in, breathing out a sigh and settling in beside you. Though he relented, he still was tense beside you, his muscles stiff. His shoulders were touching yours, so he felt you starting to shiver a little. His head snapped to you in an instant.

“Are you cold? Let me get another blan-” Bucky began, already halfway off the bed before you interrupted him once more.

“Hold on! I…uhm,” you hesitated, searching for the right words to express your request, “Could you maybe…cuddle me?” You fiddled with your fingers, a little nervous about how he would react.

To your relief, you heard him shuffle towards you, and soon you felt his arm wrapping around you. You smiled and turned, positioning your back against his chest. His other arm moved hesitantly under your pillow, enveloping you in a comforting embrace. With Bucky’s presence surrounding you, you felt a sense of security wash over you, easing any lingering nerves.

“Like that?” he breathed in your hair, a whisper so full of emotion.

“Yeah,” you breathed back, a sense of gratitude washing over you, “Thank you!” It wasn’t just a thank you for holding you in that moment; it was a thank you for everything he had done for you. It was a thank you for pulling you out of your anxiety - for saving you from a panic attack you surely would have endured if it wasn’t for him. It was a thank you for him offering his comfort and support in so many ways. And it was a thank you for inviting you to his many parties because although you never really went, it was the foundation of your current relationship.

And he knew. He knew the depth of your gratitude, the depth of your feelings. Because he had learned to read and understand you. Because he had learned to love you. And he would tell you when he thought you were ready to hear it. For now, all he could do was hold you close, squeeze you just a little tighter, and silently convey his unwavering support and profound affection.

“Love comes to you just at the right time; the time you never thought it would have”

-Anurag Prakash Ray

[once-upon-an-imagine]

Scars To Your Beautiful - James Potter

A/N: I have no idea how I was able to finish this xD thank you @captainlunaxmen for all your help! I hope yo loves like this :)

Request - @nix-rose asked: What about a James Potter x Black!Reader (if reader can have some personality: extrovert, loyal, gryffindor but could probably be a slytherin, just a happy person, definitely rough and tumble but still enjoys looking cute-) “Have you… Always been this beautiful?” “…That’s so cheesy even for your standards.”

Warnings: reader is really insecure, mentions of abusive parents, James protecting you from a creep (nothing to explicit though) also, this isn't proofread :D

Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter :) gif isn’t mine :D  

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Scars To Your Beautiful

But there's a hope that's waiting for you in the dark You should know you're beautiful just the way you are And you don't have to change a thing, The world could change its heart No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful

The ‘other Black’. That's how you were known in Hogwarts. 

You knew your family wasn’t perfect. As much as they all like to make it seem that way, it was very much far from it. Being part of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black brought a lot of pressure with it, but you were used to it by now. And, deep down, you loved your family. At least your brothers and your cousins. Well, two of your cousins, you were always pretty terrified of Bellatrix after she enchanted all of hers and her sisters’ ancient creepy dolls to come alive and it still terrified you to your very core today. But you loved Andromeda and Narcissa, even if the latter was now spending all of her time with Lucius Malfoy and you saw less and less of her. 

Even if you’d never admit it, you were always a bit envious of them. Not in a bad way, you just… wondered a little how it would feel to be like them. You remembered guys literally fighting to get your cousins’ attention. And not a day went by without you having to hear at least ten different people saying how gorgeous your brothers were. 

And then, there was you. You had a respectable reputation since you were part of the Black family. But it sometimes felt like you weren’t worthy enough to be part of it. You’ve sometimes noticed some guys staring at you a bit too long. And you’ve gone out with a few guys before. But you’ve also had people come to you specifically to get closer to one of your relatives. And nobody had referred to you as beautiful. Well, no one, except…

“Hey, beautiful” you heard that very familiar voice standing next to you. 

“Potter” you smirked. 

“Going to the match today?” 

“The Slytherin-Gryffindor match?” you smiled. “Oh, I wouldn’t miss it for the world” you told him. 

“Good, cause I need my good luck charm” he said as the two of you walked to the Great Hall. 

“Exactly, how does that work, Potter? Because I’m not really rooting for your team” you reminded him and he scoffed, pretending to be offended. 

“But of course you are, your brother plays on my team-”

“My other brother plays for my team” you interrupted. 

“Well, maybe not the team but… I’m sure you like the Gryffindor captain more than Slytherin’s” he smiled sweetly at you. 

“Well, you got me there, Potter” you admitted. 

“Promise you’ll come to the party when we win?” he asked as you entered the Great Hall and you knew you would separate. 

“That’s a lot of talk, Potter” you smirked but he offered his pinky to you. You rolled your eyes but you took it. “Never speak of this” you told him.

“See you there, beautiful” he said before he saw you walk to your table. 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

“Here” you said, sitting down next to your brother at Potions and handing him a small bag. 

“What’s this?” he asked, grabbing the bag. 

“That girl from Ravenclaw wanted me to give you this. I think she wants to ask you to Hogsmeade next weekend” you said, grabbing one of the chocolates inside. “Bite this, if it doesn’t have a love potion, I’m stealing them” you said.

“I’m not trying anything!” he complained. “Remember when we had to take care of Sirius after that girl from Hufflepuff basically drugged him?”

“I know, that’s why I wanted you to try them first” you chuckled. 

“Hold on” he said, grabbing his wand and pointing it at the candy. “We’re good” he said when a small purple dust came out of it. You grabbed one of the chocolates and Regulus grabbed another one, reading the note inside. “So, how was your talk with Potter this morning?” 

“I didn't talk to Potter this morning” you frowned, stealing some of his chocolates. 

“Don’t do that. I’m not Sirius” Regulus glared at you. “I’m not oblivious of how you two just casually entered the Great Hall together” he said. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Reggie” you said, pretending to be confused. 

“Or whenever he goes to Honeydukes he just happens to buy one too many Peppermint Toads so he gives you some, which just so happens to be your favorite” he said.

“He doesn’t… do that” you said, with your mouth half full of chocolate. 

“Are you… playing dumb? Or have you actually not noticed this?”

“Notice what? James is just friendly. That’s how he is” you tried to explain. 

“Really? He’s never gotten me Sugar Quills” Regulus said. 

“He doesn’t like Sugar Quills, why would he buy those?” 

“He doesn’t like Peppermint Toads either” he smirked. 

“Y-yes he does!” you argued, nervously. 

“No, he likes Chocolate Frogs, like the rest of us normal people” he said, as you glared at him. “And besides, it’s not just that. He’s always asking Sirius and me what your favorite books are, or asking Remus which songs you liked” he shrugged. 

“He… he does?”

“Does he really strike you as the guy who would read Pride and Prejudice for the fun of it?” 

“He might” you tried to convince yourself as you grabbed another chocolate. 

“Look, I know what you’re doing, and I know why you’re doing it. And it’s not worth it, bug” he said, getting serious. 

“It’s easy for you to say, Reg” you mumbled, picking another chocolate. “Look, it’s just… not that easy for me” you added. 

“You’ve gone out with guys before” he frowned, confused. 

“Not like James” you added. “What if… what if he’s really just being friendly? What if I think he’s interested in me and then I make a complete fool of myself? Just because he’s nice to me and I think there might be something else there? I feel…” you sighed, looking down at your hands. “It feels pathetic” you mumbled. 

“First of all, there’s nothing wrong with you liking James. Having feelings doesn’t make you pathetic” he said in a serious tone. “Secondly, did you not listen to what I just said? I honestly don’t think that James is just nice to you randomly like he’s nice to everyone else. He’s always looking for excuses to be around you, and he seems happier when he is. As do you. And, to be honest, I thought you were as oblivious about this as Sirius is, but now that I know that you were just trying to live in denial well, you’re dumber than Sirius- OUCH!”

“Excuse me?!” you asked, offended. 

“Only when it comes to this” he defended himself. “Look, I know that… for some reason, you’ve convinced yourself that you’re never going to find someone who fancies you-”

“For some reason? There is a very clear reason, Regulus, her name is Walburga!” 

“I know” he rolled his eyes. He knew very well about the hierarchy of the three of you in your home. And even if you were still not as below as Sirius because you were in Slytherin, your mother never let you forget that you were not Regulus or any of your cousins for that matter. “And I know that is not easy for you to turn off her voice in your head but, if you don’t, you might miss your chance to be with someone who is actually a great fit for you and it looks like he really likes you” he explained. “Don’t do that. If you let her win, you’re admitting that she’s right. And we all know, she’s not” he reminded you. “What’s the worst that could happen if you give Potter a chance?” 

“It’s very annoying when you’re right all the time, did you know that?”

“I do” he smiled triumphally, eating one last piece of chocolate as Professor Slughorn finally entered the class. 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

“Ugh, what is it?” you heard your cousin’s annoyed voice on the other side of the door that you knocked on before it opened, and she appeared. “Oh, hey, love” she smiled when she saw it was you.

“Hi, Cissa, um… is this a bad time?” you asked, hoping you were not just interrupting her having sex with Malfoy. 

“Oh, no, love. Lucius is just moping about losing the match” she laughed, stepping out. “What’s up?” 

“Um, w-well, I wanted to ask for a favor… if you’re not too busy” you smiled. 

“Please, anything to get away from Lucius” she said, linking her arm with yours and already walking over to your dorm. “So, what’s going on?” she said, stepping into your dorm and noticing all the clothes scattered around your bed and the floor. 

“Well, I was hoping to get your opinion on something” you said, smiling sweetly. 

“Let me guess” she said, sitting on your bed and grabbing a few skirts and dresses. “You’re going to the Gryffindor party to see James Potter” she said, erasing the smile off your face. 

“Wha-? How did you know? Did Regulus tell you?”

“Oh, please, love, I’m sure you and Sirius are the only ones who didn’t know” she laughed. 

“What?”

“Yeah, Bella and Andy also know” she informed you. 

“What? How?”

“I told them” she shrugged. 

“Ugh, great” you said, throwing yourself on your bed. “My entire family is discussing my pathetic crush” you lamented. 

“It could be worse” she said. “At least he’s a pureblood” she smiled. 

“Right” you said awkardly, sitting up. Of course that would be the only pro she’d find on James. 

“Besides, he obviously likes you back” she said as she started looking through the dresses. “Stand up” she said, pulling you up and putting the dress in front of you. 

“How are you so sure that he likes me back?”

“Oh, please, love. You can’t be that dense” she snorted. “The boy won’t leave you alone. And I’m pretty sure you’re the only one not from Gryffindor to get invited to their parties” she said. “Or at least the only Slytherin” she said. 

“W-well, maybe Sirius invited me-”

“Then why isn’t Regulus going?” 

“Okay, fair” you sighed. 

“This looks pretty. How come you haven’t worn it before?” she asked, holding up a black dress. 

“Oh, I got it a while ago in a very cute shop, but, I know it’s not something my mother would ever let me wear” you told her. 

“Well, lucky for us, your mum isn’t here” she said, throwing the dress at you. 

After you put it on, Narcissa happily sat back down on your bed and helped you with your makeup. 

“Hey, Cissa?”

“Try not to move, I’m doing your eyes” she said. 

“How do you um… get a guy to uh… notice you?” you asked, making your cousin’s look soften a little. 

“James Potter already notices you, love” she smiled. 

“W-well, yeah, I guess b-but, um… how do I let him know that I like him?” you asked. “You know, without actually telling him” you chuckled. 

“You mean, how do you flirt with him?” 

“It’s just… Regulus insists that he does these things to get my attention and… to be honest, I didn’t think it was any different from the way he acts with other girls so… I guess I have been acting normal, but… I’d like him to know that I’m interested, I guess…”

“Well, Potter seems to have a big ego, so congratulate him on how well he played today” she said as she kept doing her makeup and you glared at her a little. 

“And Lucius is as humble as they come, I suppose” you muttered. 

“Fair point” she said, before she continued. “Look, you already know he’s interested in you. Just smile at him, laugh at his stupid jokes, you should be fine” she insisted as she finished. “Okay, I’m done” she smiled. You got up and walked over looking at yourself in the mirror. 

For the first time, in a very long time, you actually felt beautiful. Narcissa had managed to make you look as elegant and flawless as you did whenever your family had a dinner party, but you didn’t feel like you were wearing a costume in one of the dresses your mother always picked. You felt like yourself. You turned around and hugged your cousin tightly. 

“Thank you so much, Cissa!” you smiled. 

“You’re welcome, love. Now go flirt with your dumb boy” she said, ushering you outside your dorm. 

“You too” you said, smiling and walking down the stairs as she rolled her eyes.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

When you entered the Gryffindor Tower, the party was already in full mode. You felt a few people, guys specifically, looking your way but you thought maybe it was because you were possibly the only Slytherin here. You walked across the Common Room, looking for James, but you found a different Marauder first. 

“Hi, Remus” you smiled as he walked over to you. 

“Oh, thank Merlin you’re here” he hugged you. “You’re the only person I like at this party and now Prongs can finally stop moping about you not being here” he said, making you laugh a little as he pulled away and looked at you. “Wow… you look-?”

“Bad?” you panicked.

“What? No! You look lovely” he smiled. “Prongs’ probably gonna have a heart attack though” he smirked. 

“Shut up! Stop saying things like that!” you widened your eyes at him. 

“Oh, please don’t tell me that you are as oblivious as your brother” he chuckled.

“I am not-! You know, I hit Regulus for saying that today!” 

“Alright, don’t hit me” he said, putting his hands up in surrender. “But, you cannot tell me that you haven’t noticed the way Prongs acts around you. He was literally throwing a fit about you not coming today” he insisted. 

“Really? Because he seems fine to me” you said, pointing behind Remus where you saw James talking to a group of very pretty girls as he offered a drink to one of them while another one threw her hair back, clearly flirting with him. 

“That means nothing” Remus said, rolling his eyes when he looked back to you. “That’s how James is-” 

“Exactly, that’s how James is” you repeated. 

“No, it’s different with you” Remus insisted as he grabbed a drink and handed it to you. 

“Really? Enlighten me” you glared at him. 

“So, you are admitting you are as oblivious as Sirius then?” 

“You know, you’re making a big deal out of that for someone who is just as oblivious on my brother’s crush on him-”

“What?!” Remus said, choking on his drink and pulling you aside. “Alright, now you’re just making stuff up” he said. 

“I’m not! You really haven’t noticed how Sirius is obnoxiously loud whenever you’re around to get your attention?”

“He… does not” Remus said, blushing a little. 

“Or that he calls you sweet names” you smirked.

“He calls everyone ‘love’” he interrupted. 

“Yes, he does” you nodded. “But he only calls you ‘my’ love” you added. 

“He… does not” he repeated.

“What are you doing here?” Sirius asked, walking over to the two of you all of the sudden. 

“Nothing” Remus quickly said. 

“Being normal, why?” you said at the same time, making Sirius raise an eyebrow at the two of you. “Um… h-have you seen James?” 

“No, but I am seeing too much of something” he said, gesturing his hand at your body. “What the bloody hell are you wearing?”

“A dress?” you said, looking down at yourself. 

“That is too revealing. You need to go change!”

“First of all, it is not. And secondly, your shirt is literally completely open!” you complained. 

“Yeah, well, this isn’t anything they haven’t seen before” he defended himself. “I am not in the mood to fight some prick that stares at you for a little too long because of… that” he said. “Go upstairs and grab my jacket” he told you.

“What? No!” you complained.

“Yes” he insisted. “Would you reason with her, my love?” he asked, looking at Sirius and you smirked when he blushed furiously. 

“Shut up” he whispered to you. “Look, just go upstairs and pretend to look for a jacket, I’ll distract him and you can come back in a few minutes” he said while Sirius finished his drink. 

“Ugh, fine” you rolled your eyes. 

“How come she only listens to you?” Sirius complained, pouting at Remus. “It must be your beautiful eyes” he smiled.

“How many of those have you had?” Remus asked, taking his glass away from him. 

You made it upstairs to the boys’ dorm and went over to Sirius' trunk to look for one of his jackets.  You found one that you kind of liked and put it on before you went back downstairs. You looked for James but saw he was still talking to the group of girls. You tried to look for your brother instead but saw him very busy with Remus and you didn’t want to interrupt so you went to grab something to drink.

“I didn’t know they let Slytherins into our parties” you heard Augustus McLaggen on your left, pouring himself a drink as well. 

“Oh” you said nervously. You were rarely alone at these things. You would at least have Regulus by your side and he would make someone go away if you were uncomfortable. “W-well, James invited me and- I was with my brother-”

“Relax, darling, I’m joking” he smirked, walking closer to you. 

“Oh” you smiled wearily. 

“It’s actually a bit… refreshing to have someone from another house” he said. 

“Um… thanks?”

“There’s something different about you” he said, eyeing you up and down. “I can’t quite put my finger on it” he said, making you pull your jacket a little closer.

“Hey! You finally came, love” you thankfully heard James’ voice coming towards you and wrapping his arm around your waist. “I thought you were standing me up” he said, kissing your head. 

“J-James, hi” you smiled relieved. 

“Sorry, mate, gotta steal her for a bit” he said, smirking at McLaggen who was glaring at him and he quickly pulled you aside. 

“Thank you” you told him as the two of you walked away.

“Don’t mention it, love. McLaggen’s a prick, why were you talking to him?”

“I wasn’t talking to him! He was talking to me” you insisted as James raised his eyebrow. “I was just getting a drink! And I was gonna go look for you-”

“Are you wearing my jacket?” he asked, confused. 

“Y-your… what?” you said, looking down at your jacket. “This is y-your jacket?” you asked confused. 

“Yeah” he smiled.

“Oh, I’m sorry, it was in Sirius’ trunk” you said, confused. “I thought-”

“Yeah, beautiful. I’m gonna save you some time, probably none of our clothes is in the correct trunk” he laughed. “Except Remus’” he added. 

“I’m sorry” you said, starting to take it off. 

“N-no! Don’t worry about it, gorgeous. Are you cold? Is that why you wanted my jacket? ‘Cause it looks good on you- I mean, you look beautiful tonight” he said smiling at you. “W-well, you always do” he added. 

“R-really?” you smiled, feeling your cheeks blush.

“Yeah” he nodded. “You don’t need the jacket if you ask me-”

“Oh, um, w-well…” you stuttered. “Sirius just… didn’t like my dress and said I needed a jacket” you rolled your eyes.  

“Well, Padfoot just needs to snog Moony and mind his business” he laughed, making you laugh as well. “You look beautiful with that dress” he smiled dreamily at you. 

“Thank you, James” you said, feeling your heart flutter. “Wait, you know about that?”

“How Sirius calls Moony ‘my’ love? Of course I do” he chuckled. “So, what took you so long to come? Were you crying all this time because your house lost?”

“Really? Did you want me to come just to brag about the match, Potter? I can still leave” you smirked as he handed you a drink. 

“Please don’t. I was so bored before you came” he said, walking you over to one of the sofas near a window. 

“I find that very hard to believe” you said, looking around. 

“Why do you always think I’m lying?” James asked, placing his hand on the sofa, behind you. 

“Because I’ve known you since I’m eleven?” you replied, making him glare at you a little. 

“That hurts, love” he said, trying to sound offended. “When have I ever lied to you?” 

“Well, for starters, you didn’t tell me that you, my brother, and Peter became Animagi to help Remus-”

“That was your brother. He didn’t let us tell you” he defended himself. 

“Alright” you said, trying to suppress your smile. “So, you’ve never lied to me?”

“Never, love” he insisted.

“Not even to avoid hurting my feelings?” you raised your eyebrow at him and noticed him tense a little. 

“N-no, of course not” he said, taking a sip of his drink. 

“So, last Christmas when you invited us over and your mum was teaching me how to cook, you actually liked the Christmas Pudding I made?” 

“Of course I did” he chuckled. 

“James” you glared at him. 

“Yes, love?” he smiled, goofily at you. 

“I mistakenly added salt instead of sugar, it was ruined” you laughed. 

“No, no. It wasn’t ruined. It gave it a new better taste” he shrugged. 

“James!” you laughed. 

“What? It’s true! I liked it” he insisted. 

“Nobody else ate it! You can’t possibly think it was good” you laughed. 

“Well, I did” he shrugged, turning your way. 

“You’re really stubborn, did you know that?” 

“Oh, and you’re not?” he laughed making you smile. “Have you… always been this beautiful?” 

“That’s so cheesy, Potter, even for your standards” you chuckled, feeling your cheeks burning. 

“Wait… do you-? Do you not believe me?” he asked, his tone getting serious. 

“I- um… I do” you said, unconvincingly. 

“You don’t” he said, turning himself to you. “It is one thing that you don’t believe that I liked your Christmas Pudding-”

“You didn't” you insisted. 

“But how can you not believe me about that?” 

“I do!” you insisted. “It’s just… I’m sorry, I’m being stupid” you smiled sadly, looking at your drink. 

“No, you’re not” James insisted, placing his hand under your chin to make you look at him. “What’s going on, love? Did- did I say something wrong?” 

“No!” you quickly said. “You never say anything wrong” you smiled sadly. “It’s just… I’m not really used to um… hearing that” you said, feeling your cheeks blush. 

“Love, I tell you that every single day! Why is it so hard for you to believe me?” 

“Because, James, look at my entire family” you said, sadly. “You know who I live with. My mother is not warm and loving like your mum is. I grew up very differently than you” you reminded him, making his look turn soft and his heart break a little. “I know you wouldn’t lie to me” you added. “It’s just… not easy for me to believe it, I guess” you smiled sadly. 

“Well, love” he said, moving closer to you and placing his hand softly on your cheek. “If you’re okay with it, I will keep saying it until you believe me” he told you. “Because you are the most beautiful person that I have seen in my life. And, since apparently I haven’t been as obvious as I thought I was, I am completely and madly in love with you and I would love to take you out on a date” he said, making your heart stop. 

“R-really?” you asked and he raised his eyebrows at you. “I m-mean, y-yes, I would love to go on a date with you” you smiled. “And… in case you didn’t know because I’m horrible at this… I am very much in love with you too” you added, making the biggest smile appear on James’ face. “And I also think you’re really beautiful” you said before he pulled you in to kiss you on the lips. 

“I love you, beautiful” he said, making you smile. 

“I love you too, Jamie” you said. “Can I ask you one more thing?”

“Anything” he said.

“Do you like Peppermint Toads?” you asked suddenly, remembering your conversation with Regulus. 

“Do I uh-” he frowned. “Why are you asking me that?” he chuckled nervously. 

“You always give me Peppermint Toads when you say you bought too many but… I don’t think I’ve seen you have one” you explained. 

“Well, love… I hate to break it to you, but nobody likes Peppermint Toads” he admitted. 

“That’s not true!”

“Yes, it is” he said, kissing your cheek. “I just bought them because you always smiled when I gave them to you” he said. “So, I’ll buy you as many as you want” he said, hugging you to him and giving you another peck on the lips. 

"Thanks, love" you smiled. "Can you now tell me if you actually liked my Christmas Pudding?"

"I did!"

The End

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

A/N: I hope you loves liked it! :)

[samthestrangerthingsfan]

Out of The Woods

pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

summary: Hawkins is home once again, and you're determined to keep your peace. The past comes calling.

chapter warnings: slow burn, motherhood, swearing, childhood trauma, fluff, sweet sweet memories and friends bonding again. <3

a/n: I don't want to give spoilers, but we may or may not have a run-in with a certain metal head in this chapter! :O (just a taste, a lil treat bc you've all been so good.)

chapter 3: Silver Springs || series masterlist

NOVEMBER 4th, 1983

Friday was the best day of the week.

Sure, weekends are great, but Friday night meant movie night at the Munson’s.

“You better not make her watching nothin’ scary, Edward.” Wayne huffed, grabbing his choice of cap from the wall, as well as big winter coat.

Eddie’s hand flew over his heart. “I would never! Not so close to the holidays!”

You threw a piece of popcorn at his head as the laughter bubbled from your chest. “Holidays? It’s not even Thanksgiving!” Eddie motions for you to keep throwing so he can catch one in his mouth. You oblige, but not without a protest of your own. “I would like—no, I demand a comedy.”

Eddie bowed to you, peering up and showing off the piece of popcorn he’d caught at the last second “What m’lady wants, she shall receive.”

The trailer door blew out of Wayne’s grip as he opened it, “Christ, it’s freezin’! Turn the heat on, boy. Your date is gonna freeze to death.”

Eddie gives you a knowing look. There’s no point, his eyes send the message loud and clear. The two of you have told Wayne dozens of times that you weren’t on dates, you were just best friends hanging out.

He didn’t buy it.

“Why does she get the heat? Pretty sure I got frost bite when I got outta the shower today.”

“Because,” Wayne slid his hands into a pair of work gloves as he walked toward you. “I like her and I want her to keep comin’ around.” He bent down, and kissed the crown of your head.

You protested, “I don’t wanna bug you—“

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Eddie teased. “Ya know you say that a lot?”

“It’s the truth!”

“You could never bug me—ever. Even if you could, who cares? Not like it’s a bad, it’s a good bug you reserve just for me; my bug.”

Your eyes seemed to roll of their own free will, “Eddie.”

He dropped down next to you, putting a hand on your upper thigh as he offered you a twizzler. “Yes, Bug?”

Neither of you had noticed when exactly Wayne slipped out.

You’d compromised that night. Ghostbusters, a little something for the both of you.

About 30 minutes in, Eddie looked at you. He took in how you laughed at something Bill Murray said, how the sound bubbling from your chest made your nose crinkle.

God, he could listen to that sound all day.

When you turned to him, he panicked. Standing quickly, “Uh, shit…here,” he said, not knowing where the hell he was going with the sentence.

Eddie looked around for a moment, what felt like an hour for him was surely only a few seconds. He ended up grabbing Wayne’s old Polaroid camera from the shelf. “C’mon, we gotta take a picture.”

You smiled through your confusion, “Why?”

Eddie shrugged, “Because we never do! And I wanna remember this even when we’re so old we can’t remember our own names.”

“You want to remember a randoms Friday night?”

He nodded. “If it’s a Friday night with you? Always.”

The whirr and click of the camera went off before you knew what was happening. “Eddie, I wasn’t ready! I’m gonna look like a fucking Goblin!”

The timber of his laugh made your heart race. Eddie pulled the film from its slot beneath the lens. “Don’t sell yourself short, Bug. Troll maybe, but never a Goblin.”

You elbowed his ribs at the exact moment he connected with the couch.

“Oof.” He laughed. “C’mon, smile?”

“Fine.”

Eddie put his arm around you, pulling you in close. A second later, the flash blinded you both, leaving you dazed and giggly for the next minute.

You held out your hand, and gestured to where the photo of the two of you was laid out to develop. “Let’s see it then.” You demanded.

Eddie pulled it off the coffee table, looking at it before he handed it to you.

He wasn’t looking at the camera, no. His eyes were on you, and he was smiling harder than he’d thought was possible.

He saw how you were leaned into him, your hand holding his as it draped over your shoulder, the light behind your eyes, the smile he couldn’t get enough of.

Eddie felt it then.

So immediate and sudden it felt like his heart got struck by lightning, and it was then that he realized two things:

That this feeling, whatever it was, couldn’t possibly end well.

And two?

He is so fucked.

It became easier to breathe.

You hadn’t realized just how suffocating life here had become. To be back in Hawkins and still feel like you were hiding and alone. Though now, and in the weeks since you’re run-in with Robin and Steve, it all got a bit brighter and a little less heavy.

Steve was committed to putting the past behind you, a sentiment he all but drilled into your head the first night he visited Maggie and you at the house.

“You did what you thought you needed to do to make it. You’re back now, though. Let us be there for you.”

He also became Maggie’s own personal jungle gym. Whenever they watched a movie or had a snack together, your daughter could be found on top of him in some way. They especially enjoyed watching cartoons on Saturdays; Maggie perched on top of Uncle Cheeseball’s shoulders, because according to her it was the ‘best seat in the house.’

Robin couldn’t be deterred either.

She’s over at least three nights a week now, and Maggie is obsessed—like, seriously obsessed. It’s the sort of bond you watch from afar and admire, the way your friend opened her heart to your daughter. How she’s protected her innocence and encouraged her silliness.

Kids aren’t exactly everyone’s cup of tea. They’re loud and messy and demanding in a totally innocent way. They require you to think before you act and never put yourself first. It’s why any dates you’d been on over the years hadn’t worked out, most people disappeared after they learned of her. Not that you cared, Maggie was number one in your life, and you were damn proud of that.

But now here you are, the life you had been convinced you’d never have was happening before your eyes.

“And ya know what else, Miss M? Your Mom fell right on her butt and slid all the way down the hill!”

Maggie’s laughter echoed off the your living room walls.

“Hey! It was December and Hillcrest is notoriously icy when it snows!” You feigned insult, and tickled Maggie as her laughter multiplied.

“Mom! That’s so silly! How'd you stop sliding?” She questioned.

Robin’s eyebrow quirked up, “Yeah, how did you stop sliding?”

You sighed, embarrassment painting your face. “Steve—Uncle Cheeseball had to catch me.”

The two of them howled with laughter, “Yeah-yeah, laugh it up. I don’t like this, you’re in…cahoots!”

“Excuse me!” Robin objected. “I am a responsible adult!”

Maggie stood with her hands on her hips. “Yeah! Me too!”

You leaned down, kissing her forehead. “Alright, well, it’s bedtime for all adults and former children.”

Maggie whined, but let out a yawn mid-grumble.

“See? Proof.” You booped her nose. “Go on, you have school tomorrow. Teeth, pjs, bed, okay?”

Maggie hugged you, “Okay, Mama. Goodnight, Robby! I’ll see you on Friday for pizzas!”

She ran the few feet to your friend, and squeezed her. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world, kiddo.”

Maggie, by the grace of God, listened. She was so worn out from laughing and dancing and playing with Robin that she crashed as soon as her little head hit the pillow.

“Want me to take the trash out on my way?” Robin asked, hands full of the nonsense she’d brought along with her.

“Is there a 3rd hand in there I don’t know about?” You nodded towards her, “No, Robs. I got it, I just gotta do the dishes first.”

Robin smiled behind you, relishing in the gratitude she felt having you back. “I-I’m so proud of you.” It was a near whisper, and when you turned to your friend, she had tears in her eyes.

“Maggie is…she’s so cool! And you’re obviously an incredible Mom. I’m just, I’m sorry you felt like you had to stay away.”

Your own eyes burned at that. You walked to Robin and pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry too, I’m sorry I didn’t call, or write…I just didn’t know how to—to be here.”

She nodded into your embrace, adjusting the items she cradled. “Well, you’re here now. Anything you need, say the word and I’ll be here, Steve too.”

You pulled away, “I know.”

Robin grabbed her keys with the few fingers she had free. “I don’t mean to ruin the beautiful moment of love and friendship, but have you thought about...him? About what’ll happen if you see him again? I mean, Hawkins isn’t exactly a big town.” She avoided using his name, and that didn’t go unnoticed.

It’s all I think about.

Fingers toyed with the hair tie around your wrist, “I wouldn’t even know…” your voice faded out. “I’ll cross that bridge if and when I come to it, I’ve been here for a while already, and haven’t even heard anyone mention his name.”

That was true.

Everyone used to talk about Eddie Munson. The troublemaker, the cult leader, the devil-worshipping freak. The boy who was corrupting you, and ruining your future.

These backwoods hicks had no idea just how good he was back then. How kind and gentle and full of courage he was. You couldn’t understand why they hated him, not when you found it so easy to love him.

“I didn’t wanna upset you—“

“You didn’t,” you’re quick to reassure her, “it’s a logical question, and sure, maybe I’m avoiding the subject, but I appreciate you looking out for me all the same.”

Robin shrugged as if it was the most simple thought in the world, “Always.”

She left after an additional 5 minutes of arguing about helping you clean, to which you would not allow.

Cleaning up after a long day, while exhausting, was your only time to yourself. It was the one part of the day Maggie wasn’t asking something of you or looking for something or covered in something sticky.

Why is it always something sticky?

The dishes were done, and the counters were clean. You plopped on the couch, and turned on whatever the tv was playing at this hour and had just begun to fold the laundry, when the stink of the trash left by the door nearly had you retching.

“Nope, not waiting til morning…”

“Steve, Steve…” Eddie laughed.

The boy threw his hands up in frustration. “Eddie, I’m serious!”

Eddie slapped his friends shoulder. “I appreciate the worrying, pal. I’m fine, I had one beer let’s see…” the metal head looked at his watch, “an hour and a half ago. Why the sudden concern about my health and safety, hm?”

Steve blanched at the question, stumbling over his words. “T-There was an accident tonight! Drunk driver hit the pole on Cornwallis. Cops everywhere, ya know?”

Steve knew exactly why the thought of Eddie getting hurt or worse was suddenly a new phobia he developed. He had just hoped he’d hide it better than this.

Eddie sighed, “Great,” and stood, grabbing his keys out of his pocket, “back roads it is, gonna take me 20 minutes to get home now.”

Steve stood too, causing Eddie to glance back. He pinched his friend’s cheek, “Would you feel better if I called you when I got home, Stevie?” Eddie mocked, pouting his lip.

Steve pushed him away, “Shut up, man. Fine, that’s the last time I give a shit about my friends.”

Eddie laughed, “Nah, I appreciate it, Harrington. I’ll see ya on Friday right? Still looking your car over at the shop?”

“Yeah, yeah. See ya Friday.”

Eddie left Steve’s apartment smiling to himself.

What a good dude.

By the time he hit Cornwallis, the detour was worse than expected. It took him down several back roads and side streets Eddie is usually able to avoid all together.

Not to mention Forest Hills trailer park is on the opposite side of town from Harrington’s place. Eddie is usually able to zip down Main Street to save some time, but with Cornwallis a no-go, it was an addition pain in the ass to avoid the one-ways.

“Oh come on.” He griped. The car in front of him was going what seemed like negative miles an hour. He whipped the wheel to the left, evading the current route and instead, opting for an old way he remembered like the back of his hand.

Even in the dark.

It was eerie. To be on this street that he'd driven hundreds of times, knowing it wasn't leading to you.

He could practically see you, the way you’d sit on the curb until he got there, bag packed with your essentials for a few days. Wanting to get the hell out of this place before your Dad came-too.

The street was dim, lit only by the few flickering street lamps. He attempted to drown out the glimpses of the past, turning up the radio, and blasting Crazy Train so loud it made his windows shake.

Six houses away.

It was a subconscious entity; these memories shouting from the void and demanding to be remembered.

Three…

The porch light to your old house was on. “Huh…weird.” Eddie whispered to himself.

His van was barely at your mailbox when he slammed on his brakes, nearly getting choked by the seatbelt. He skidded to a stop, and killed the music.

Either he’s high as a kite, or it was you. Standing right in front of him as you dragged the trash can to the curb.

He’s hoping it’s the former.

You, rightfully so, looked like a deer in fucking headlights. Jumping back when you heard the screech of his tires.

But you know that van—you’d know it simply by the way it sounded coming down your street or by the shape of the headlights shining through the Hawkins fog.

The rusted hinges groaned when the drivers side door opened. Eddie was moving, but he wasn’t sure why. Not when very fiber of his being was screaming at him to stay in the van—to keep driving. Did he listen?

Of course not.

Eddie Munson says your name so softly and with such disbelief, it almost sounded like fear coating his tongue.

You, unlike the boy—man before you, were frozen.

That was the first thing you’d noticed. Eddie still looked like…Eddie, just a manlier—a more rugged version of the boy you’d loved.

He had five o’clock shadow covering his jaw. Cheekbones that were more defined, the hollows more pronounced. His hair was shorter, shorter than you remember it, anyway and he wore boots—work boots. Gone we’re the torn-up Goodwill sneakers he’d saved up weeks to buy.

He was in a black henley and dark wash jeans, though he still had his signature wallet chain and denim jacket.

Your heart slammed in your chest. Your dinner churned in your belly.

You could go. You could turn around and ignore him, walking back into your home and do exactly what he did to you.

But you wouldn’t, you’re better than that—better than him.

“W-Why…what are you doing here?” He half-mumbled.

“Minding my own business.” The strength in your voice surprised you.

Eddie was quiet, very uncharacteristically so, before he shook his head…presumably in an attempt to sort out his thoughts.

“But you’re, you’re here. You’re in Hawkins.” You could practically see the proverbial egg shells he was walking on.

Was he…afraid of you?

Good. You thought. He should be.

You crossed your arms, “Nothing ever did get past you.”

He was stuck. Quicksand was pulling him down, holding his body tightly and dragging him into the Earth’s core. He couldn’t breathe, he was dying.

At least that’s what it felt like.

Eddie cleared his throat. “How, um, how long—“

“A while.” You interject.

How long had you been here? How long were you staying? It didn’t matter, the answer is the same.

“And you’re staying here.” He nodded to the blue house he’s rescued you from hundreds of times.

“I don’t see how that’s your business.” You we’re cold, colder than he’s ever heard you.

Eddie took you in now. You were the same in every way that mattered. Older, sure��but still you, and for that, Eddie couldn’t be more grateful.

You had new smile lines. Were you happy? He hoped to whatever God was listening that you were.

“It’s not, shit. I—I know it’s not. I just didn’t know—“

A noise from inside the house startled you. Your head whipped around, fast as lighting.

Shit. Maggie.

“You okay?” He asked.

No, no, no.

Ignoring him, you turn and start walking back to the house, when Eddie calls your name again, not daring to move from where he’d planted his feet.

You all but spit at him, “Leave, Eddie. There’s nothing left here for you.”

And you meant it.

When you were safely inside, you check Maggie, who was sound asleep.

The noise must have been the door, or the wind, but it scared to half to death.

He didn’t deserve to know her, and maybe that’s selfish, but you aren’t ready to share your daughter yet.

Not with him.

Who knows, maybe you never will be.

[mrsparrasblog]

Rodolfo x Alej's Sister

You've known him since you were a kid; he was always there at every family gathering and every birthday. He spent every weekend with Alej. At first, you hated him. He always pulled on your pigtails, made fun of you, and stole your toys.

When you turned 16, your hatred toward Rudy suddenly changed. He changed; he became nice to you, helping you with biology and physics exams, listening to your problems, and protecting you when Alej couldn't.

The night of your senior prom changed your view completely. You were going with Antonio to prom; you had been dating him for one year. You never knew your relationship would change on this day.

The first hours were perfect; he picked you up in his car, danced with you the whole night, and then rented out a hotel room for you both. You promised him this would be your first night together, and you did. The only problem? He left you straight after what you just did.

You didn't know what to do. You were left alone in a hotel room with no way to go home by night. You could always call Alej; you knew he would help you. Of course, you were fighting like siblings always did, but he loved you, right? But he would kill Antonio, and you didn't want to tell your big brother that you lost your virginity. If he tells Dad, it's over for you anyway.

So you did the only thing your mind could come up with: you called Rudy, while still crying over Antonio.

"What's wrong, Mi Amor?"

"How did you know something's wrong, Rudy?" You sobbed into the phone.

"You're calling me at 2 a.m., and you're sobbing. What's wrong?" Rudy said, his voice full of empathy.

"Antonio, he—"

"What did that pendejo do?" You never heard Rudy that furious. You were used to Alej or even your dad; they were hot-headed, but Rudy was always calm, which made him a bit scary. But this time, he was mad before you even told him what Antonio did.

"I... he... can you pick me up? I'm at the inn."

"I'm there in 5, Mi Amor."

He came to pick you up. He was always a great driver, and you felt safe. He always put on the car heater for you and didn't force you to talk.

"Do you want a stop at Chili's?"

You just nodded, and you went through the drive-thru, eating in his car, even if he rarely allowed food in it. But for you, he made an exception; he always did.

"He slept with me."

"Did you want it? Did he hurt you?"

"I wanted it, and no, he didn't physically hurt me."

"Physically?"

"He broke up with me after."

"I'm going to kill that pendejo."

"No, Rudy, it's okay. I'm stupid."

"Look at me. You're not stupid; you're an intelligent, beautiful, and hardworking woman."

"Thank you, Rudy. I just feel bad about myself."

"You know you're the most beautiful girl in the world, Mi Amor."

"Hm."

"Alejandro and I are going to enlist after our graduation."

"I know."

"I'm sorry, but I promise I'll bring your brother back safe."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

20 years later, you still remember that day—the day you fell in love with Rudy, your brother's best friend. Of course, you had flings and even relationships, but nothing compared to the feelings you savored for your Rudy.

He never married, though he got married to his work exactly like your brother, but at least you knew that they kept each other safe until

Rudy stormed into your house with one of the two spare keys you had. He was panting and shaking, and when you saw his face, fear crawled over you. Did something happen to Alej?

"Rudy, what's wrong?" but he was like in a trance, barely noticing you.

Rudy took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart before answering. "I thought about how much I didn't want to leave this world without ever telling you how much you mean to me." His eyes locked onto yours, and he could see the confusion and desire mixed in your gaze.

"Uhm, Rudy, why is something wrong?"

"I almost died today; I got into a fire. Alejandro saved me at the last minute." You almost forgot about his nice words; he almost died. You looked at him, scanning him for any visible injuries, and then you couldn't hold back anymore. If someone thought Alejandro had the temperament, they didn't know his little sister.

"No, Rudy, are you insane? You almost died idiot. You need to take care of yourself. I swear to you, if you die on me, I will pull you back from heaven to fucking kill you again." He loved that fire that occupied you, but right now he wasn't able to fight with you and enjoy your burning eyes, which he found so sexy.

He took a step closer, his heart pounding in his chest. "Mi Amor, please listen to me. I've loved you since the moment I saw you." Did he just confess to you? You couldn't believe it.

"I doubt that we were kids and you always pulled my hair."

Rodolfo chuckled softly, shaking his head. "No, I remember being a kid and thinking you were the most beautiful girl in the world. And even as we grew up, that feeling only got stronger."

"Why did you never tell me? I thought you saw me only as the stupid sister from Alejandro."

"I was scared, Mi Amor. I knew our families wouldn't approve, and I didn't want to risk losing you or my friendship with Alejandro." He reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair from your face.

"Rudy I have loved you since the day you punched my prom date." You confessed remembering the night and the following day when the pacifist Rudy came with all his knuckles injured. You behaved like a medic till you saw Antonio with his broken nose, a blue eye, and an overall punched-out expression. He did this for you; he protected you, not Alej. You still scolded him for being foolish; he could have gotten hurt too.

His eyes widened in surprise, and he stared at you for a moment. "Oh, you did, huh? Well, I have loved you since the day I pulled your hair and called you an Ilorona" Idiot, but you loved his laughs and jokes. He was a calm man, and most people thought he was shy, but Rudy never was shy—never to you at least.

"Why now? What changed?"

He took your soft hands in his. "No, Mi Amor. It's because of how much I felt when I thought I was going to die. And it hit me then—all the years I've spent hiding my feelings for you—they were pointless."

"Your feelings were never pointless."

"I know that now, but I didn't before. I was so focused on what others thought and what our families would say that I forgot to listen to my own heart." He sighed, looking down at your hands before meeting your gaze again. "But I promise you, Mi Amor, "you couldn't hear it anymore; you needed to show him how much passion you felt for him.

"cállate Rudy and just kiss me already."

Rodolfo chuckled softly before leaning forward, his lips brushing against yours gently. "Always telling me what to do, aren't you?" he whispered against your lips before deepening the kiss slowly.

He felt the heat of your kiss, igniting a fire within him. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer as you explored each other's lips and tongues.

His heart raced with anticipation and excitement, finally acting on the feelings he had harbored for so long.

"It feels better than I imagined."

"I'm glad, Mi Amor," he whispered against your lips, nuzzling his face into your neck. "You feel so good. So right." He deepened the kiss again, lost in the sensation of finally being with you like this.

"What About Alejandro?"

"I'll deal with him later," Rodolfo replied, his voice husky from your passionate kiss. "Right now, all that matters is you and me." He continued to kiss your neck, trailing soft kisses down your collarbone before returning to your lips once more.

Rodolfo smiled against your lips, his hands sliding down to cup your ass, pulling you even closer. "And you're so stunning," he groaned, nibbling gently on your lower lip. "I've dreamed of this for so long."

"Oh, so that's what you thought about on your lonely barracks nights." You hated yourself for joking right now, but it felt so good and easy with him.

Rodolfo chuckled, trailing more kisses along your jawline. "And many other things, mi amor," he murmured, his hands slipping under your shirt to trace patterns over your soft skin. "But you were always in my mind."

"Rudy, you don't need to take things slow. I waited 20 years for this." You whined; you felt your body reacting to his; you were already dripping in anticipation.

Feeling your need for him, Rodolfo pressed you against the wall, his hands moving up to hold your face as he deepened the kiss. "I want to make this last," he breathed, his lips still locked with yours. "I don't want it to be over too soon.

"We have 40 years of this; please, Rudy, I need you."

Rodolfo's eyes darkened with desire as he looked into your pleading gaze. He couldn't resist any longer. With a growl, he picked you up, as if you weighed nothing. God, you knew he was strong, but wow. and carried you to the bedroom.

Rudy kicked the door shut behind you and laid you down on the bed, his lips never leaving yours. He was afraid that if he pulled away, he would wake up like in many of his dreams, but this was real. He finally had you and never wanted to let you go.

His hands roamed over your body, pulling off your shirt and lacy bra before moving to undo his pants. "I want you so badly, Mi Amor. I have been dreaming about this for years, and God, you are even more beautiful than in my imagination."

"I need you so bad, Rudy."

He growled into your kiss, and with one swift motion, he pulled off his shirt and pants, revealing himself to you fully. Of course, you knew how good he looked without his shirt, especially when Alej and he came over in the summer to watch football. But now that you saw him in full glory, you were amazed, his erect cock stood at attention. And you grabbed it, wanting to pull it finally inside of you, where it had belonged all these years. Where you rubbed yourself, moaning his name in desperation.

Rodolfo chuckled, pushing your skirt up and kissing your thighs tenderly. "Impatient little thing, aren't you?" He whispered teasingly before licking a line up your smooth stomach to your perky breasts.

His tongue circled your nipple, causing you to moan loudly. Rodolfo's cock throbbed with anticipation, aching to be inside of you. "You taste so good,"

He reached down and helped you remove your skirt, revealing your black lace panties underneath. His mouth watered at the sight. "Fuck, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he groaned, unable to resist any longer.

You giggled at his praise.

"Shh, mi amor," Rodolfo murmured, his hands moving up to cup your breasts. He squeezed them gently, eliciting a soft moan from your pouty lips as he began to trail kisses down your abdomen once more.

"I love you, Rudy."

"I love you too," Rodolfo whispered against your stomach before standing up. "Let me undress you completely." His eyes never leaving yours, he reached out to slowly pull down your panties, his breath catching in his throat at the sight of you completely bare.

Rudy couldn't resist any longer; he crawled between your legs and kissed you softly at the entrance of your womanhood. "So beautiful," he whispered against your skin before licking you slowly, his tongue tracing circles around your hard and pulsing clit. Rodolfo moaned against you, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he continued to pleasure you with his tongue.

He could taste your arousal, and it only made him want more. "So wet for me, Mi Amor, you taste like heaven," Rodolfo grinned against your skin, his mouth watering at the taste.

He slowly pushed one finger inside of you, gently stretching you for him as he continued to lick and suck on your clit. "I love you so much,"

"I love you too."

Rodolfo's finger moved in and out of your needing hole slowly, matching the rhythm of his tongue on your clit.

He could hear you moaning his name, and it only fueled his desire to make you cum. "Cum for me, mi amor,"

Rudy groaned as you came, his tongue working hard as he tasted your sweet nectar. He continued to lap, making sure he got every last drop before slowly pulling away. "You are so breathtaking," he whispered against your skin, his fingers still inside you.

Small tears escaped your eyes; it was almost embarrassing how much you felt for this man. "No one treated me so good before."

His heart swelled at your beautiful words, and he kissed you softly on the stomach moving up to slowly kiss the tears away, "It's because you're my everything, Mi Amor, I could worship you forever. I'm sorry for not doing it earlier."

He pulled out his fingers, leaving you feeling empty. "Turn around." Rodolfo moved behind you, his hard cock pressing against your bouncy ass. He took a moment to admire your body again like he wanted to memorize every scar, every curve, and every birthmark of yours.

He reached around to stroke himself slowly. "You're so beautiful," he whispered again, kissing your shoulder blade. "I want to feel you."

"Rudy, please make love to me." You didn't say fucking or sex; these words didn't describe what this was; this was lovemaking, and you enjoyed every second of it.

Rodolfo shivered at your words, his cock twitching in excitement. Holding you against him tightly, he positioned himself at your entrance. With one powerful thrust, he penetrated you completely while kissing your neck lovingly. "I'm all yours, mi amor."

Rudy began to move inside you, his hips rolling against yours as he filled you. He felt like he was made for you; he wasn't too big or too short; he was perfect, filling you without hurting you.

The sound of your skins slapping against each other echoed in the room, along with your moans and gasps for air. "You feel so perfect. Rodolfo's thrusts became harder and faster, his cock hitting every spot inside of you that you desperately needed.

He reached around to grab one of your breasts, squeezing it as he continued to pound into you relentlessly. "I love you so much,"

"I love you too, Rudy." You never were the person for words of love during sex, but this was something else you wanted to capture his love and hide it inside of you forever, never letting go of him.

As he approached his climax, Rodolfo slowed his thrusts, allowing him to savor every moment. His hands tightened on your hips, and his breath was hot against your neck. He gently rubbed your clit." Come with me, mi amor," he groaned, pushing deeper inside.

Rodolfo's thrusts grew harder again, his cock hitting deeper as he lost control. His entire world centered around you; the feeling of your skin slapping together was the only thing that mattered. "Mi Amor," he whimpered your name like it was the only thing that mattered and released his hot seed inside of you, painting your walls white.

You whined, loving his cum inside of you; it was right there, and this alone made you clench around him and reach your climax. Desperately sticking your nails into his strong and broad shoulders.

Rodolfo grinned against your lips, his cock still hard inside of you. "I'll make sure to fill you up all the time time, Mi Amor," he whispered before kissing you deeply once more. He stayed inside of you for a few more moments, enjoying the feeling of being connected to you.

"Don't pull out, please."

"Still not enough, Mi Amor?"

"Of you never," he slowly began to thrust inside of you, trying not to go too fast because of your overstimulated cunt that still clenched him like a glove. His lips never left your body, placing little love marks all over your collarbone. You knew you were his- and he was yours.

The door opened. "Rodolfo, what are you doing with my sister?" Alejandro screamed.

- Fuck

[f1fantasys]

My first ever fanfic, hope you all enjoy ❤️

'...and, and, and with Lando'

Angsty/Smut w/ Lando Norris

You'd been in a relationship with Lando for a year now, known him for 6 years prior. He was the most amazing and caring boyfriend you could have ever asked for. Being a Formula 1 driver, it meant Lando was away from you a lot more than that of a normal couple. Still, your love for each other made it work. You relationship with Lando had its ups and downs, but you always found your way back to each other, loving the other more than ever. You traveled around the world following Lando as much as you could, but it wasn't also so easy to just up and leave your home and be away from/wfm all the time.

Things with Lando had been great, however you recently noticed him becoming more distant. When you were away from each other, he would only respond to your texts with one or two word answers. You hardly ever face-timed- he was always too busy. You thought it was just a phase, and that things would eventually get back to normal. His races were recently not the best and only seemed to be getting worse.

You were currently with Lando in Belgium for one of the races. You'd arrived last night, hoping to have a quiet night in with your boyfriend, however he hardly even acknowledged your presence. He said he had an important dinner to attend, with his mate Charles, and he left you alone in your hotel room.

Later that night, you'd been scrolling on Twitter when pictures surfaced of a very drunk Lando and Charles, out at a nightclub, with some girls in the background. It was odd for them to have got out clubbing considering it was a race weekend, but what made you more upset is the fact that he left you alone to go have some fun with friends and GIRLS.

You tried to stay up for him, but he was just not showing up. Around 3am, you heard the hotel door open, and a very drunk Lando walked in. You decided to ignore him and pretend you were still sleeping. Lando somehow managed to strip his clothes off, even in his drunk state, and pulled back the bed covers to see you sporting a t shirt of his, and just some lacy panties. He immediately let out a groan at the sight of you. He ended up cuddling you, and after a while you felt some kisses being peppered on your back and shoulder. He turned your body around and started leaving open -mouthed kisses going further south.

'Lando stop, its late and you have to up early tomorrow'' you stated. Something clicked, and his whole mood changed. He let out a scoff and said 'what's it to you? I have a race, not you, and maybe i wanted a good fuck from my girlfriend to get me in a good mood, but clearly you don't care about me.' Before you could even say anything back, he turned around, mumbling something to himself.

You wanted to say something back, but decided against it, after all, its not worth arguing with someone who is not in their right senses.

As you drifted off to sleep again, you couldn't help but think of a memory from a few months ago.

Lando and you were in Italy for one of the Grand Prixs'. You had a lovely day out at the track for quali, Lando placed P2, so naturally he was in such a happy mood, he could burst. You loved to see that side of him - he was proud of his achievements and he wouldn't stop boasting about how you were his lucky charm. He has also debuted a goatee that weekend, so to say he looked handsome was an understatement. He had always been the most beautiful person to you, but with his new look, he looked HOT. So fucking hot. And lucky you, you had him all to yourself that night. The two of you usually loved to fuck the day before a race (as if you weren't doing the nasty every other day). It really got the adrenaline going for him, and for you, well you would not complain at all.

As soon as you reached your hotel room, he shut the door and his lips were on you. 'You look so fucking hot in this dress Y/N, gosh you don't know what you've done to me today.' You smiled into the heated kiss. 'And you looked so poochie, as your twitter fans would say, with your little goatee. I hope it stays forever and ever', you replied. This quickly took a turn when he started kneeling down in front of you, while you quickly removed your dress. He was shocked to find you wearing no panties, only a lacy bra that barely held your boobs together. He smirked ‘so fucking pretty, princess’ and before you could react, you felt his tongue on your pussy. He licked and licked and licked until your legs were trembling. ‘So close Lan’ you murmured. You could feel him smiling while continuing his slaughter on your most sensitive parts. After a few minutes, he carried and dropped you on the kind size bed. He quickly opened your legs and resumed his activities. His thumb quickly found your clit and you heard him mutter a few ‘cum, cum for me princess, cum for your Lando’ and with that, you came undone. Lando, however, didn’t slow his activities. You quickly felt his finger enter you-one, then two and within seconds he was finger fucking you. You came for a second time, then a third. Eventually you had to tell him to give it a break. You were feeling overly sensitive, and that only made him prouder of his achievements for the day. He wore a smirk at the thought of over stimulating you with just his mouth, the cheeky bugger.

You decided to put on a movie while lazily lying together, when suddenly you felt his fingers drawing lazy circles on your thigh, getting closer to the place you already craved him (yes, even after 3 orgasms, not less than an hour ago). By now you weren’t concentrating on the movie, you know Lando wasn’t as well. You quickly jumped him, bringing your lips to his, both fighting for dominance. In the end, you won, he opened his mouth to you and your tongues tasted each other, not getting enough. You both started to remove each others clothes until Lando was left in only his boxers. You started grinding on him, feeling his cock get harder by the second. ‘Someone’s needy’ you cheekily said to him. Without a second thought, you were suddenly on your fours, with Lando behind you, entering you without warning. ‘Let’s see who’s more needy’, he whispered. He set a slow pace at first, feeling so proud at how you take him, feeling your walls clench around his dick, so nicely, so tight, and so wet. He pulled your hair, causing you to just be on your knees. He spat into his hand and put it out by your mouth. You knew what to do. You quickly licked his hand clean of his spit, earning a loud and sexy moan from him. ‘My fucking princess’ he muttered and he suddenly started slamming into you at a harder pace, giving you no warning. ‘Taking me so well. Rewarding me for placing P2. Praying for my first win tomorrow. My princess’. After a few minutes you started to feel your walls clench. ‘So close Lan’ you told him. His finger found your clit and before you knew it you were crying out his name, praising him. After a minute or two, your felt his warm splutter inside your walls and heard another sexy groan form the man you love. As he slowly slid out, he peppered you in kisses ‘love you love you love you’ was all you heard as you both fell asleep.

That was the last thought you had before you drifted off to sleep.

You awoke the next morning to an empty bed. Checking the time, you saw it was 8am. You saw that Lando’s phone and wallet were gone, which meant he wasn’t in the room. You shot him a text asking where he was and that you wanted to talk to him. The plan today was for f1 media duties. You were supposed to accompany him through the day. You decided to get ready and get some breakfast while waiting for him. At 10am, you received a text. Merely stating a quick ‘already at the track, see you later’. Your heart sank at seeing that he didn’t even ask you to come there and be with him. You decided to go to the hotel spa to relax your mind a bit. By evening, you hoped to get a dinner with your boyfriend. It was the least he could do after acting like a total dick.

He came in the room at 7pm, sent you a quick ‘hi’. He showered and started putting on some clothes. ‘Are we going out for dinner?’ You asked. ‘I thought you could maybe order some room service, I’ve got dinner with the lads tonight’. You didn’t have time to reply. He left to the room straightaway. Needless to say you cried yourself to sleep that night.

The next day was FP1 and FP2. You had woken up before Lando, and had been ready waiting for him. This way he couldn’t escape you. The morning was filled with awkward silences and barely two words being exchanged between the two of you. You arrived at the track around 12pm, and the day ended around 10pm. You hardly saw Lando, but it was nice to catch up with some of the other WAGS. You also learned that Lando and Charles each had 2 points deducted due to their partying two nights ago.

As the two of you reached your hotel room, you’d had enough. ‘Lan, what’s going on. You’ve barley talked to me since I’ve come, we haven’t had one meal together in the three days, you haven’t touched me or kissed me at all, other than your drunk state. What is happening. Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me? You seem to want to get away from me at all points of the day. We didn’t even hold hands waking into the paddock today’ you said, a few tears rolling down your cheek. He just sighed. ‘Can we not talk about this now, I have quail tomorrow and don’t need all this added extra stress. Stop being so needy. ’ You both had already eaten at the paddock(separately, that is). He jumped into bed and ignored you the rest of the night. Not even a cuddle. No reassurance at all.

Quali day was the same. Two words here and there but nothing. Lando had a good quali, after a long time, placing P3. But you had no energy to even start up a conversation again. To no surprise, the two of you didn’t fuck. The day before the race. You didn’t fuck. That says something.

Race day came and Lando finished with a good P3, keeping his quali placement. You hoped this would lighten his mood and that things could fall into place. Maybe the stress of the race caused him to act differently. Back at the hotel, you were getting ready to put clubbing. Happy that he’d said he wanted you to go with. You wore a sexy satin white dress that hugged all your curves in the right places. Deciding to forego panties, hoping to have a happy Lando later.

You walked into the club hand in hand. While Lando was getting your drinks, you drifted into thought about the last few days. Stressing about the race gave Lando no reason to act like a dick to you. You still wanted to talk to him about everything and clear the air. The night was going well. You chatted with some drivers and had deep conversations with the wags. Danced a bit. Just had a good night. After dancing for some time, you and Alex, Charles’ girlfriend walk up to the boys for a breather. There was no place to sit as Alex took the last chair. So you decided Lando’s lap was the best place. Plus you wanted to be close to him and to hold you. And that was the last straw. He immediately said ‘what the fuck Y/N. Can’t you leave me alone for two minutes. Fucking hell’. You were shocked. Not only was that rude, but he was rude to you in front of your friends. You needed to get away before embarrassing yourself with crying in front of everyone so you made a beeline for the door. You tried to breath through the cold air of the night and heard the door open. Any angry Lando emerged. ‘We’re leaving’

The ride back to the hotel was quiet. You could still feel the tears sting your eyes and you tried to keep as quiet as you could.

When you got into the room, Landon sat on the sofa and looked at you. Not in a sorry way, not in a sweet, loving way. But a way that threw daggers at you. He was angry. You’d never seen him this angry before. ‘Lan” was all you said as you sat down. ‘I think we need to break up’ he said. You were speechless. You felt your heart break into a thousand pieces. ‘Lando, what’s going on’. You could barely even talk. ‘Please don’t do this, talk to me. Tell me what I’ve done wrong. Or tell me how you think we can fix this. I can’t lose you like this. You’re the love of my life. You know that’ you managed to say through your tears.

His look wasn't angry anymore, just annoyed. ‘You’re so needy. Always needing my attention. Constantly texting and calling. I’ve had enough. I need to concentrate on my racing. Not on you.” Hearing this sounding like someone shot you. You could not believe that your Lando was saying this to you. He didn’t give you a chance to say anything. ‘I’ll get my PR to get my stuff in the morning’ he said. And walked out the door.

He left you in a pool of your tears. Not knowing where it all went so wrong. You waited and waited and waited for him to come back. Say he was wrong and apologize for everything that he said in a rage. But he didn’t. You fell asleep on the floor but the sofa. Waking up to a broken heart the next day. You tried to call Lando, only for it not to go through. You tried to call Charles, Lando’s best friend in the world of F1, but he was already on a flight home. You called Max F, to ask if Lando had said anything. He didn’t know what was going on.

You packed your things and tried to convince yourself that it was for the better. There’s no point being in a relationship where you are not wanted. You booked an early flight home (you and Lando were supposed to stay back for a few days). Once home you rang Ria, she worked with Lando at Quadrant and quickly became one of your best friends. She came over and you explained everything to her. You found out that Lando had blocked you on all socials. Blocked your number as well. You didn’t know what to do, you don’t know what you did so wrong that it seemed Lando couldn’t stand you. You were so confused. Years of friendship and years of love just to be tossed to the side without reason.

Max F came to visit you a bit later in the day. He said he talked to Lando but Lando wouldn’t say anything about you or why he did what he did. You felt like you had no more tears to cry. You were exhausted. Max stayed for a while before heading back.

A few months had passed since everything had happened. Everyday you tried your best to hold yourself together but how do you do that without the person who bought you comfort. You were lonely. You stopped meeting your friends, even your f1 friends. They would only remind you of him.

One day you were having coffee at your favorite local coffee shop. Sitting on your own, sipping your coffee, out of nowhere, you heard his voice. At first you thought your mind was playing tricks on you. You looked up to see the curls you so lovingly adored. His back was to you, so he hadn’t noticed you yet. Your body was frozen. You didn’t know what to do. Getting up would cause him to turn to see you, and you weren’t sure if you wanted him to see you yet. After a minute he finally turned. You were looking down at your phone.

‘Y/N’. You braced yourself and looked up. ‘Lando’.

‘Can we talk?’ He asked. ‘Sure’ you replied.

‘How are you? You look great’. You smiled a bit. You did not look great. And you were not ok.

‘I’m good’ you lied.

‘How are you doing’. He kept quiet for several seconds. ‘Not good. Letting go of you-‘.

‘Lando stop, I can’t do this right now’. You interrupted him. Your mind was racing and you immediately got up and left.

You tried to calm yourself down once you got home. Deciding to have a cup of tea, your put some water to boil. A knock at your door startled you. You looked through the peephole and saw none other than Lando standing at the other side of the door.

Contemplating what to do, you opened the door slightly. ‘What are you doing here Lando?’ ‘Please let me in, I really need to talk to you’.

Maybe letting him explain himself was the closure you needed. Carefully you opened the door and for the first time took in his appearance. He looked just as shit as you did. But he was still the most handsome man you had ever seen. You moved to the side to let him in and locked the door behind him. ‘Coffee?’ You asked. ‘Yes please’ he said.

The both of you sat at each end of the sofa. Not knowing who should start first or what to say. Lando started- ‘pushing you out of my life has been the most painful thing I could have ever done, and I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, please hear me out’. You tried you calm your nerves while listening to him. All you wanted to do was erase the last few months and jump into his arms and never let him go.

He continued- ‘things haven’t been going my way recently. What with the car and my teammate outscoring me at races. I talked to Zak about it and he said I was letting our relationship affect my career and that I had to make a choice. Choose what’s more important. I shut him down of the idea for several months. He couldn’t make me chose between my love for you and for f1. The last few races towards our breakup had been the worst. You tried to be there for me and I keep distancing myself. Thinking maybe Zak was right and I should try not be with you and see how I race. Safe to say that was the worst thing I could have done. My races since then have been even shittier. I've had 3 DNFs in the least 5 races. But more importantly, my life feels so hopeless and incomplete without you. Y/N I am so so truly sorry for the way I treated you and for the things I said to you. If anything, I am needy one in our relationship and you are always there for me. To be happy with me or to cry with me, you stood by my side. And as soon as things got difficult, I blamed it all on you. Please know that I have always and will always love you with my whole heart and I hope you can forgive me some day. I understand if you need time to process everything but please know I will wait for you. However long it takes. You are the only person I want to be with. The only person I want to love.’

By now the tears are streaming down your face at full force. Cautiously, Lando takes your hand in his. You feel electricity travel through your whole body at the contact. You tried hard to think about what he said and to really believe him. But he was right. You needed time to think about it all. Even though he admits his mistake, there was a time when racing was more important than you. Do you give yourself in or do you deserve better than that?

‘Lan’ you started. Lando felt goosebumps just by calling him that. ‘I appreciate you coming here to tell me the truth. And trust me, I do want to believe you. I want to forget everything that has happened and continue to live our lives by each other. But I also need time to process. I can’t just drop everything and move on. What you did to me hurt me and I am still recovering the pieces from my broken heart. I don’t know if I am ready to risk it breaking down again. You are and always will be special to me but I just need time before we can become as close as friends even.'

‘I get that' he started before you interrupted him for the second time that day.

I also have to ask, that night out in Belgium with Charles - the photos-' your voice broke halfway through the sentence. 'What about all those girls you were with? Why were you with so many girls, when i traveled miles to be with you and you left me sitting alone in a hotel room.'

Lando sighed. he knew those pictures would come up someday. He needed to find the right words to say to you. To tell you he was never unfaithful. 'Charles and I were minding our own business in the club. Until those girls came along. They claimed to be fans but we both got bad vibes off of them. We immediately shut them down and tried to ignore them. We even moved to another area but they kept following us. Needless to say other people around got the wrong impression and started taking pictures of us. Nothing at all happened with them, I would never cheat on you Y/N. Even though i was acting like a total dick to you, i never stopped loving you.' I also want to apologize for my behavior when i got back to the hotel that night. What i did was so wrong and i can't stop beating myself up over treating you like that.'

All you could do was nod. You didn't know what else to say. You just needed time to think everything through, and most importantly protect your heart at all costs.

'Thank you for listening to me. Please reach out to me when you’re ready.’ With that he got up, kissed your cheek and left.

Needless to say you couldn’t function for the next few days. Your mind was in overdrive about thinking what to do. Of course you knew you still loved him. You wanted nothing more than to just go to him, hug him, kiss him, forgive him. That’s what your heart wants. But do you listen to your head or your heart?

About a week later Lando was at home watching tv (it was the winter break). With a few days to go before Christmas all he wanted was to be in his own space, comfortable silence. He heard the doorbell ring and ignored it. Until the person rang it again, and again. Frustrated, he got up and opened the door without checking the peephole. What he wasn’t prepared for, was you, standing there, looking as beautiful as ever, holding a mistletoe above your head. Lando couldn’t believe his eyes. Without thinking or saying anything, he pulled you into his house and out of the snow. You both stared at each for what felt like hours but was just a few minutes.

‘Well’ you said looking up at the mistletoe. ‘Are you going to kiss me?’ Lando gave you the biggest boyish grin he’d ever given you. And without wasting another second, smashed his lips to yours. You both stood there just embracing and kissing each other, tongues battling for dominance. The two of you knew that you still had things to talk about, re-assurance for each other (you, that you could trust him, and him, that you actually have forgiven him). He gently carried you bridal-style to his bedroom. He sat you down on the bed, suddenly doubting the next move he should take. You didn’t refuse him carrying you to him room, so you must want the same thing as him.

Right? Right.

You quickly pulled him flush against you, both of you ripping each others clothes off. ‘Missed you so much’ he said. ‘Lan I can’t live without you. I need you, always. I’ve missed you so fucking much it’s a miracle I got through these past few months without you. You are my life.’

As soon as you both were butt-naked, you rolled over so that you were sitting on Landos lap. You both had missed this view. You started kissing again. Landos hands found their way to you ass. Massaging it roughly, while you started grinding on his already hard cock. Your juices were already starting to cover him up. Lando lied flat on his back, and moved you to sit on his face. Boy had you missed his tongue on your pussy. He was licking and sucking and touching all of your most private areas. Not giving you any room to breathe. But in the best was possible.

After a few minutes an idea popped into your head. ‘Lan, hold on’ you said as you lifted yourself off him and turned your body around so you could take his hard dick into your hands. ‘Naughty’ you heard him smile, as he resumed his activities on you. Stroking him a couple of times, spitting in your hand and combining it with your juices that were already on him, you took the tip of his beautiful cock in your mouth. The thick vein at the side was what you missed the most. You sucked and licked what you could, pumping the rest of him in your hand. You almost gagged, having gone a long while without doing it. You’d almost forgotten how big he was. ‘Lan, m’ close’ you squealed. ‘Cum for me my love, cum into my mouth’. And with that, you came undone. He sucked up all of your juices. Then re positioned you on his lap.

‘Need you in me’, you managed to croak out. ‘I know baby, you’re still on birth control?’ You nodded. He lifted you up and and you felt yourself slowly sink down onto him. God you had missed this feeling. Him being buried deep inside you. You start to set a good rhythm. Not too slow, not to fast. Just perfect.

After a while Lando lifted you up and re positioned your bodies again. This time you were on your back and Lando was on top of you. You really missed having all his weight on you. He started slamming into you, harder and harder, fucking you. Fucking you after what felt like forever. Tears started stinging your eyes. You were in pure bliss and it was all because of a single man. A few minutes later you found you walls starting to clench around him.

‘Wait for me princess' his mumbled while you nodded. ‘Fuck Y/N I’m so close. I’ve missed you so much baby. I’ve missed you and I’ve missed this pussy of yours, that takes me so well. You let me fill you up so well’. And with that you both came crashing down, legs shaking, heavy breathing and small laughs at just how amazing that was.

After a few minutes, Lando gently slid out of you, earning a moan from you. ‘Just going to get you cleaned up baby’ he cooed. He got a warm cloth and slowly wiped all the mess you both had created. He returned a few seconds later, lying down on the bed, and pulled you to his side. ‘I’m still so sorry for everything Y/N, but thank you for coming back to me. I love you with all my heart and I promise to always keep you happy. Will you spend Christmas with me at my families this year?’ ‘Of course Lan, I’m so happy we found our way back to each other’ you said as you got up on one elbow and kissed his jaw. His lips quickly found yours and the two of you kissed and kissed and kissed until you both fell asleep, excited for what lies ahead.

Thank you for reading, I really hope you all enjoyed this! xx

[eddiemunsons80sbaby]

Let Me Take Care of You

Pairing: JoeQuinnxReader

Summary: I couldn't stop thinking about how that man needed someone to take care of him after such a long day. And I know how much he cares about his fans. He was so kind but toward the end, everybody was rushed, and I have no doubt he wished he could have taken more time. So, fic idea popped into my head because...yeah, he looked so damn good on Sunday. You're dating Joe and after the chaos of the day, you just want to help your man.

18+ only

The hotel room door opened and in came Joe, looking absolutely drained and exhausted. It had been a whirlwind of a weekend. The U.S. Embassy had misplaced his passport and he almost missed the con in Philly, disappointing thousands of fans. At the last minute, everything worked out, but he’d had to cram three days worth of autographs and photo ops into one day, showing up early and staying late. You’d offered to tag along but he’d insisted on you relaxing as you’d had a late flight the night before and he had his friend, Ollo, there to be by his side throughout the day. Joe was also nervous how his fans might treat you if they found out he was seeing someone. The two of you had kept it under wraps the last few months when you’d seen how some of the fandom had treated Grace. It was awful that someone so sweet had to deal with that kind of toxicity. 

You knew Ollo would take care of Joe, making sure he hydrated, got something to eat, and at least got a couple of smoke breaks to keep his nerves steady. But that didn’t stop you from worrying all day. You’d been checking your phone, seeing all the photos people were posting. It hadn’t gone without notice that as the day wore on, Joe’s smile wasn’t quite as wide, those eyes weren’t quite as soft as usual. 

You set your phone down, sitting up as he let out a large sigh, dropping onto the edge of the bed in front of you. You gripped the leather jacket in your hands, sliding it down his arms and tossing it onto the chair in the corner. Using your fingers, you kneaded the tense muscles of his shoulders, relishing the pleased groan he released. Your fingers continued, moving along his back and you rested your chin gently on his shoulder, pressing a kiss to the side of his neck. Joe’s hand came to cradle your cheek, his thumb running over your jaw. 

“Long day, baby?” you asked.

“The longest,” he answered. “We managed to get everyone done but as the day wore on, they were making me rush. I felt so bad because I couldn’t chat with people or do the poses they wanted. They were telling people no hugs. I feel like they left disappointed.”

“Oh Joe, no,” you assured him, your thumb pressing into a tight knot you felt in his low back. “Your fans understand. I saw so many of the posts today and they were so grateful they had the chance to see you, that you managed to make it even if it was for one day. They understood. None of this was your fault. It sucks that you had to rush people but if you didn’t, everyone might not have gotten their chance to see you.”

“I know, darling. I just hate feeling like I didn’t give them a great experience. And it was such a long day…”

“Did you get a lunch break?”

“Yes, I did,” Joe chuckled, tilting his head, resting it against yours. “I ate, love, no worries. Ollo kept checking in on how much water I was drinking. I got three smoke breaks. It was just a lot. The panel actually felt like a break. I got to sit on a couch and have a good chat. They asked about the Kas theory again.”

You laughed, “Of course they did. Your fans want you back for season five badly. I’m sorry it was such a long day. I know this isn’t how you wanted it, but I am glad Ollo took care of you. Him and I would be having words if not.”

“I have no doubt, my sweet girl. Everyone took very good care of me today.”

“Mmm…well, maybe, but I haven’t had my turn.”

“You’re taking care of me right now,” Joe insisted. “Thank you for the back rub. Standing on that concrete was killer by the end of the day.”

“Oh, I think I can do more than that. My poor boy needs to relax,” you crooned, winding your arms around him, pulling him until he was lying back on the bed. You straddled him, your knees cradling his thighs. “Let me help you relax.”

Joe’s eyebrows raised, a smirk appearing on those sweet, full lips, “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, bringing your lips to his. 

His arms locked around you, crushing your body against his. Your tongue slid along his bottom lip and he caught it with his lips, gently sucking before slipping his tongue along yours, eliciting a gentle moan. You rocked your hips, rubbing your core along his length, your tongue exploring his mouth, loving the sounds of pleasure that rumbled up from his chest. 

“Let’s lose this shirt,” you whispered, sitting up and pulling the plain black tee over his head, tossing it across the room. 

“And what about your shirt?”

“This isn’t about me right now,” you grinned, your lips tracing the line of his jaw, down the side of his neck. Jesus, he smelled like heaven. “I'm taking care of you, remember?” Your lips continued their path, over his collarbone, nipping gently, his hips thrusting up into yours, creating delicious friction against your already pulsing center. 

“Seeing your tits would take care of me. Nothing makes me happier than your jubblies smothering my face.”

“Uh-uh…not yet, my beautiful boy. You just lay back and relax. Let me do all the work tonight.”

You placed open mouthed kisses over his chest, teeth grazing over his nipples. His hand cradled the back of your neck, a low growl falling from his lips. As your tongue flicked over one nipple and then the other, your fingers worked his belt and then the button on his jeans. You continued to slide down his body, placing your feet on the floor. Your tongue followed a path over his abdomen, following the trail of coarse hairs that led right where you intended to go as you gripped his jeans and boxers at the same time, dragging them down his legs and over his feet until he was completely bare to you, his cock standing at attention, pre-cum glistening along the tip. 

Kneeling down in between his legs, you gently raked your nails over his thighs and his hips rolled towards you in response, his body letting you know exactly what he needed. Your tongue darted out, capturing the salty release that had already collected. 

“Fuck, darling…” he hissed. “Don’t tease. Please.”

“No worries, baby. I am going to help ease all your stress.”

You wrapped your lips around him, working his length, taking as much of him as your throat would allow. He grunted deeply, one hand tangling in your hair as he thrust up into your mouth, the tip of his cock scratching the back of your throat. Wrapping your hand around the base, you moved along him, using your mouth and hand, pleasure shooting to your core as you listened to this beautiful man coming undone because of what you were doing to him. 

Sometimes you pinched yourself because you could not believe he was all yours. But here he was, completely at your mercy, groaning, gasping, writhing, and you were the cause of it. You were the one who could help him, who could ease his stress, who could make him feel good. It was a goddamn high. 

“Bloody hell…so sodding good…don’t stop, love…just like that…” he panted. 

Your other came up to cradle his balls, rolling them along your palm like a pair of dice. Joe growled low, the hand in your hair tightening, pulling, his other hand slamming down against the mattress. Your tongue ran along each side of his cock before taking him fully in your mouth again as you tugged down gently on his balls, squeezing them gently, applying just the right amount of pressure. 

“Fuck!” Joe shrieked, bucking up into your mouth as he held your face tightly against him, his release flooding your mouth. His entire body shook beneath you as he went rigid, helpless grunts and moans rolling out of him. 

As he relaxed, you carefully released him from your mouth, swallowing and wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. Standing, you smiled down at him, holding his eyes with yours as you slowly removed your shirt, followed by your shorts and panties until you were naked in front of him. Joe’s eyes traveled the length of you, devouring you with his gaze, sending a shock of desire straight to your center, pulsing with need. 

You crawled over the top of his body and his hands immediately fell upon you, roaming over your sides, your hips, the curves of your breasts. He grabbed your hips, sliding you up his body until your breasts were directly over his face and then he buried himself between them, deeply moaning, his hands pressing them together against his face. 

“Fuck, I love these tits,” he sighed, his mouth exploring every inch, tongue and teeth teasing your nipples into hard little buds. 

“Joe,” you breathed, sliding your wetness over his cock until it was hard, ready to go once again. The feel of his erection pressing against your clit had you whimpering, eager for him to fill you. 

His hand slid between your bodies, his thumb moving over your clit and you gasped, back arching as you pressed your hands against his chest, sitting up. Joe started with slow circles, moving faster and faster until you were gasping for breath. 

“So wet already, darling and I barely did anything for you.”

“Taking care of you works me up,” you breathed, struggling to speak against the intense pleasure coursing through your body as his circles grew smaller, focusing right on your pleasure button. “The way you sound…knowing I can do that…it’s so damn hot. Fuck, I need your cock.”

Reaching between you, you grabbed his cock, lowering yourself onto him slowly until your pelvises were flush together. The two of you moaned simultaneously as you began to slowly rotate your hips in a circle, his cock hitting all the right places that had your stomach tensing, already so close as his thumb continued working magic on you.

“Shit, darling…that’s so good,” Joe praised. “I love watching you ride me.” His free hand caressed your face, thumb running over your lower lip and you caught it between your lips, sucking it into your mouth. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful.”

You sighed, releasing his thumb as you rocked back and forth, hands gripping his shoulders for purchase as you picked up the pace. Joe’s chest rose and fell heavily as he quickly raced toward another climax, his cock twitching within you as you rolled over him. His thumb began moving back and forth, faster over your clit, and you knew he was determined to get you to cum before he did. 

“Come on, my beautiful girl,” he urged, one hand now gripping your hip as he moved with you. “Cum for me, darling. Let me see how fucking beautiful you are when you let go.”

“Joe…I…fuck!” you cried, nails digging into the flesh of his shoulders as you shuddered on him, your climax crashing over you. 

“That’s it…yes, love,” he grunted, gripping both of your hips, thrusting up into you hard, taking over as you lost all control, moaning his name over and over. Joe’s fingertips dug into your flesh as he held you against him, filling you with his release. “Jesus Christ, darling…” He sighed, falling back on the bed. 

You fell forward onto his chest, nuzzling his neck, “Do you feel more relaxed, beautiful boy?”

“So relaxed,” he murmured sleepily. “Fuck, you took everything out of me, love.” His arms wrapped around you and his lips pressed against your forehead. “I am going to sleep like a goddamn baby.”

“Good,” you replied, kissing his shoulder. “I’ll clean us up and tuck you all in.”

You went into the bathroom, getting a warm washcloth that you used to clean the two of you. Joe laid still, eyes closed, breathing deep as you gently wiped him. You tossed the washcloth back in the bathroom and then had to work to get him turned in the bed the right way as he was not much help. Your poor boy was so damn tired. 

Laying down next to him, you pulled the blanket over both of you and he whimpered softly in his sleepy state, hands reaching out for you. Joe was a cuddler, always the big spoon. Smiling, you slid toward him with your back to him, those strong arms encasing you, pressing you against his chest, wrapping himself around your body. You sighed happily, burrowing into his arms, inhaling the soothing scent of your favorite person on this planet. 

“I love you,” you whispered. “Good night.”

“Mmm…love you…” he mumbled. “Night love.”

[b0r3dtod3ath]

mother is mothering.

A/N: A little drabble I came up with while washing the dishes :)). I'm gonna re-read this and edit it tomorrow.

Word count: 665

F1 masterlist

Today was exhausting. Daniel left for a race weekend leaving you with your two tribble twos. Sure, you love them with whole your heart and would protect them with your life but they were a pain in the ass when their dad wasn't there. They started off the day with waking up way earlier than usual causing you to end your sleep. During the breakfast they refused to eat and had a food fight causing the kitchen to turn into a mess. While you were cleaning up they had an argument and one of them started crying because the other didn't want to give them a teddy bear back. Other than that, their dad hasn't called all day which made them even more fussy and left you with not having exchanged a word with an adult for some time now. After over a hour of trying to put them to sleep it finally happened. You quietly made your way downstairs to quickly clean everything. You put away the tv remote, collected some toys and folded the blanket. You turned on the kitchen light and let out a long breath when you saw a pile of dishes in the sink. You stared at your nemesis for a moment and you started washing them trying not to make any sound. The comforting silence was interrupted with a ring of a phone. You picked up with your hands a bit wet just to end the noise that could wake up your kids. "Hi, honeeey. How are you doing?" Daniel's happy face filled the screen. "Hey, badger. The kids just fell asleep and I'm organizing here. Wait, what is that on your face?" You said noticing something different. "Oh you mean my mustache? You don't like it. I thought you loved my facial hair." You laughed under your breath and he talked to you about his day as you continued to do the dishes. Once his rambling about the car and teammates ended, comfortable silence filled the kitchen once again. He looked at you for a while. "Is everything okay?" he asked with a more quiet, soft tone. "Yea, I'm just a bit tired. Twins really got on my nerves today." you quickly said not looking away from the dishes "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone to work" he said as a sudden wave of guilt rushed over him. "No, it's not your fault. We knew what we were signing up for but everything's fine. It was just a rough day, okay? Tomorrow is going to be better." "You are such a good mother and the best wife I could ever ask for. I'm sorry you have to do this alone." He felt really bad for leaving you with twins though even when he was there it was still hard. "No, Daniel. I said it's not your fault. It really isn't. You're great and you do a lot. You are going to be back in a few days and everything will be alright." You said with a faint smile. He adored that even when you were tired you managed to have a bit of optimism left in you. "I swear I'm going to make it up to you once I come back." "No need to but okay, Ricciardo. Now shut up, I'm going to the bedroom so don't make any noises and don't wake up the gremlins". He laughed and pretended to zip his mouth. Once you reached your bedroom you said "I call that a great success." "God it felt like years ago, remember? When I was at work and you used to call me at night and later sneak into the kitchen trying to not wake up your parents?" "God, I was trying to be sneaky but I swear they knew. Alright, I think I'm going to sleep." "Want me to stay on the line for a bit?" "Yea, that would be perfect." You placed your phone on a pillow next to you. "Goodnight, honey" "Goodnight, super mom".

November 2 2023

[jjkamochoso]

Summer Hair, Don’t Care

Choso x gn!reader (reader described as having enough hair to put into buns just fyi)

Fluff

Reader and Choso have the same hairstyle. Love and hijinks ensue !

Warnings: none

It was hot outside. Very, extremely, utterly hot. Summer had finally come around and with it, scorching temperatures. Thankfully it was the weekend so you didn’t have to brave your commute in work clothes that would end up being sticky and sweaty before you even made it to your job. No, today was a day for letting loose and living life in carefree and well ventilated clothes. As you went through your morning routine, you contemplated all the things you could do with your days off. Even though being outside was akin to walking on the literal sun, you decided that the day could be best spent surviving the trip to somewhere fun and cool—the mall. After you chose your outfit, all that was left before heading out was what to do with your hair. You were tired of the same old hairstyles that everyone else seemed to be doing. Ponytails, braids, and half updos were fun, sure, but you wanted more from your hair today. Going straight to Pinterest, experimentation with a new style was the name of your game. You scrolled through endless photos of perfectly poised ponys and crazy curled coifs. You were almost ready to give up and go back to your tried and true style when something caught your eye.

“Double spiky buns, huh? Looks interesting,” you mumbled to yourself, gathering the tools you needed. Your first attempt went well but the buns weren’t quite even. The second attempt was somehow worse, the buns in totally different angles on the top of your head. By the third try, thankfully, you figured it out because if you hadn’t, you were ready to just rip out your hair and go bald (your arms hurting from styling certainly didn’t help). You took a minute to admire your work in the mirror and you were glad you got out of your comfort zone because you looked great! Satisfied, you grabbed your belongings and hopped on the next train to the mall. Everybody standing near you looked as miserable as you felt because of the heat and your knee anxiously bounced up and down as you anticipated your destination. You had never clamored off a train as fast as you did then to escape into the sweet release of the air conditioned mall. Once the cool air touched your skin, you immediately got goosebumps, but unlike the winter ones, you appreciated these. You stood next to the directory for a few moments, making a plan of attack for what stores you were going to check out. Like any mall, there was an overwhelming amount of choices and you were in no mood to strategize so you just started walking. Little did you know, there was a group that had just arrived after you doing that exact same thing.

“Chosoooooo I’m bored,” complained Yuji, who was sprawled out on his bed. Usually the two boys slept in a lot later but the heat had them awake bright and early. Choso sighed as he took in the sight of his exasperated brother, running his fingers through his undone hair.

“Do you wanna stay home and play some board games?” he suggested, but Yuji shook his head.

“They’re fun but I wanna go somewhere. It’s too hot in these dorms.”

Choso couldn’t disagree with that. He didn’t know how his brother withstood the heat in his room during this time of year. Maybe they could buy some fans while they were out.

“Get your shoes on. We’re going to the mall.”

Yuji immediately got up, a huge smile on his face.

“Great idea! I’ll text Kugisaki and Fushiguro and ask if they wanna come too!”

As Choso began to put his hair up in his signature buns, he smiled softly at his younger brother’s antics. He was so relieved that Yuji found people he could have fun and act his age with. Sure, they were all going to run off and leave him behind with the bags, but what else were older brothers for? Choso was grateful he was able to be there for Yuji and his friends. Yuji, in turn, noticed how lonely Choso would get without knowing people who were his (physical) age and hoped he could help him find romantic companionship or at least some friends to start. That thought is what the three high schoolers were talking about as they walked in the mall while Choso was blissfully unaware, his attention occupied with finding the nearest electronics store.

“I’m glad he suggested it because malls are the best places to meet people. Especially girls, huh Fushiguro?” Yuji teased and Megumi’s face sported a blush.

“Shut up. I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, looking away in embarrassment.

“It’s not fair that everybody flirts with Fushiguro when I’m right here,” complained Nobara.

“You’re so loud I think the whole mall knows you’re right here,” Megumi retorted. The two of them started to bicker when Yuji finally interjected.

“Guys! We’re here to help Choso, remember?

“I think he’s gonna need more help than we can give him,” Nobara grumbled, sparing a glance at the brunette who looked hopelessly lost trying to figure out where he was on the directory.

“I’ll help him with that. You two… just… whatever,” said Megumi, waving them off and walking toward Choso, who now had his face so close to the plastic map that his nose almost touched it.

“Okay, back to the plan. We’re trying to find a normal looking person for Choso to-”

“Yuji! They have the same hairstyle as your brother! I’m gonna go talk to them.”

Nobara marched away before Yuji could get another word in.

This is where you come back to the story.

You were almost in the door of the first store when you heard someone come rushing up behind you, calling for your attention.

“Excuse me! Excuse me!”

You spun around to be face to face with a spunky teenager with bright orange hair and a huge grin.

“Hi! I’m sorry to bother you, but I wanted to say I love your hair! Also, there’s this guy that I want you to please meet. He’s very lonely—well, no, that doesn’t sound right. Yes, he’s lonely, but not because he’s weird or anything, he just spends his time being a great big brother. I’m Kugisaki by the way.”

You had to take a moment to process everything this girl just told you. It was a surprise to be greeted like that but she seemed to be genuine and, to be honest, you were lonely too. The worst thing that could happen is that you didn’t get along too well but you could easily go your separate ways since you were at a mall.

“Nice to meet you, Kugisaki. I’m y/n. Would you like to show me this mystery man?”

You didn’t think her smile could get any wider but you were proven wrong.

“Come with me.”

She led you over to the directory where you were met with two teen boys and a man who seemed around your age. When the older guy turned around, you got a good look at his whole face and it almost took your breath away. He was absolutely handsome! His dark eyes suited his dark hair and light complexion perfectly. You were intrigued by what you thought was a tattoo across his nose. Whatever it was, you thought it was hot. The thing that caught your attention most, though, were the two spiky buns planted on his head in the exact manner as yours. You couldn’t help but laugh a little at the coincidence and you noticed the man’s face had a dusting of pink on it.

“I’m assuming you’re mystery man?” you asked as he nodded sheepishly.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what the kids were up to. Please, don’t let us ruin your shopping trip.” The poor guy genuinely seemed distressed for seemingly bothering you. He was way too cute to be so nervous!

“So you’re not Tokyo’s most eligible but lonely bachelor?” you teased, making him blush some more.

“We’re gonna go shopping. I’ll text you later Choso!” yelled the pink haired kid who was dragging away his friends. You found the whole situation amusing and hoped the man opposite of you felt the same.

“Choso, is it? I’m y/n,” you introduced yourself and you noticed he had a shocked look on his face.

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m just surprised you’re not weirded out by my brother’s friends. I know if teens ran up to me like that I probably wouldn’t have handled it as gracefully as you.”

“I remember being a kid and how kids that age act. Trust me, they seem to have good hearts. Besides, it’s better shopping with other people if you’re up to hanging out. I trust you make good choices, judging by your hairstyle.”

Choso tilted his head in confusion until the realization dawned on him. You two wore the same double buns!

“Your hair!” he exclaimed, “It’s great! But I’m obviously biased.” You two shared a laugh and started walking deeper in the mall when Choso struck up a conversation.

“What are you here for? Anything in particular?”

You pondered for a moment.

“Mmm, no. I just wanted to get out of the house but stay out of the sunshine. It’s way too hot outside.” Choso nodded in agreement.

“I get that. I’ve been staying at my brother’s dorm and it’s too hot in there too so I’m buying some fans while I’m here.”

“Oh! There’s a great electronics store around here somewhere. You wanna check there first?”

Choso was relieved because even with Megumi’s help, he still couldn’t figure out the directions to the store. If you hadn’t shown up when you did, the mall directory would’ve felt Piercing Blood cut it in half. Already, you’ve proved to be a great addition to his life. You were kind, funny, and definitely attractive. If he didn’t screw this up, he’d have to thank Nobara for her spontaneity.

“Which of the boys was your brother?” you inquired, wanting to get to know the quiet man next to you.

“He was the one with the pink hair, Yuji. Fushiguro was the dark haired kid and the girl you met was Kugisaki, if she didn’t tell you already.”

“Oh! I would’ve assumed the dark haired kid was your brother.”

“Yuji and I are half brothers,” he explained, a gentle smile on his face, “so the family resemblance isn’t all there. But we’re close anyway. He’s such a great kid, he’s always looking out for others and doesn’t have a selfish bone in his body. I’m really lucky to call myself his big brother.” Your heart absolutely melted hearing Choso talk about his brother like that. Kugisaki wasn’t joking when she told you he’s a devoted family man!

“He seems lucky to have you, too. Everybody deserves a doting big brother like you in their life,” you said, earning a bigger smile from Choso.

“How about you?” he asked. “What’s your family like?”

You dove into your family life and you could tell he listened with such intensity, like he was a sponge soaking up every little word you said. He nodded when appropriate, asked questions at the right time. Even as the topic changed and you shared more mundane details about yourself, Choso looked at you like you were holding a seminar on the most interesting topic in the world. Alternatively, when Choso spoke, you found yourself appreciating every subtle movement he made and how he pronounced certain words because he was just so mesmerizing. You had only known this guy about 20 minutes but it felt like you were old friends, or even lovers of a bygone age, who were rediscovering all of each other’s quirks and culminations of what made up your personalities and life experiences. You never knew you could be so comfortable around someone so quickly but Choso was simply intoxicating. You didn’t even notice you had been stopped outside the electronics store, talking about whatever came to your minds, for longer than what was deemed normal to not notice your surroundings. Finally, you and Choso gained consciousness of the world around you once more and headed into the store. It was a little gesture, but you really appreciated how Choso held the door open for you. Even while browsing fan selections, you two had a great time debating on which option seemed the best, what color to get, it didn’t matter—you both had a lot to say and you both wanted to hear the other one speak. Finally, after the exasperated salesperson left you two to figure out your choice on your own, you settled on three medium sized black fans.

“I think they’d be cute if they matched you,” you had argued, gesturing to Choso’s black shirt and black pants outfit. He couldn’t disagree with someone who effectively called him cute so you guys took the products to the counter and asked if they could be held until you were done shopping. The store clerk was just happy that the two indecisive chatterboxes were leaving and he eagerly took the merchandise from you, charged Choso, and ushered you two from the store in a lightning fast manner. You and Choso were so wrapped up in each other that you didn’t notice the employee’s behavior and headed out to see what else the mall had to offer. You found yourselves looking through manga, circling aisles of knickknack stores, competing to see who could find the cutest plushies, and ended up with stacks of clothes in your hands, doing fashion shows for each other.

“Alright Choso! I’m on my last outfit!” you called out, walking into the communal area filled with uninterested boyfriends and phone scrolling girlfriends who were waiting for their significant others to finish trying things on. Choso stood out among the crowd as he eagerly awaited to see what you picked. When he saw you emerge, his eyes widened and he gulped. The weight of the whole situation he was in had finally dawned on him—was he on a date?! Yes, he was having an amazing time with you, yes you were easy to talk to, but these were attributes of a friendly hangout. Admittedly, he found you so attractive it made his heart skip a beat when you looked at him and his hands clammy when you brushed them with your own—these were not attributes of a friendly hangout, but of something more romantic. And now, as you stood in front of him, goofily modeling your look, he weighed his options. He either tells you that he’d never seen someone so captivating in his entire life, or he stays quiet and laughs along like a good friend would. When you looked at him expectedly, he made his choice.

“You look absolutely astonishing. I’ve never seen anyone come close to as stunning as you are.” You were taken aback. You definitely weren’t expecting him to say that! You searched his face for any sign of teasing and tried to find a hint of joking in his tone, but he was serious. You felt your face warm at the compliment as you looked away, suddenly shy. The eye rolls of the other shoppers went unnoticed by you both who were too engrossed in your moment of puppy love. Choso was nervous at your lack of reaction. Did he make you uncomfortable? Was he too forward? Should he have waited—

“Do you want to grab some food after this?” you suddenly suggested, and for the first time today, Choso had no words. He silently nodded as you went back to put your normal clothes on. When you were out of sight, he let out a sigh and pushed his bangs off his face for a moment as he was suddenly feeling the summer heat even in the cool mall. When you came out once more, the outfit you had worn last was in your hands.

“I take it you liked this one?” you said, trying to ease the tension.

“I liked all of them,” he confessed, and you lightly swatted his arm.

“Well, how am I supposed to choose what to buy then? I want an outfit that’ll make you want to take me out on a proper date.” You giggled to yourself as you saw Choso getting flustered. Usually he was so composed in all other areas of his life, but romance had been neglected for far too long.

Brothers, lend me your courage and strength, he thought to himself before answering you.

“I would take you on a proper date even if you weren’t wearing anything.”

You tried so hard not to burst out laughing but you failed as Choso realized what he had said. Quickly backtracking, he was getting more and more flustered.

“No, wait! I did NOT mean for that to sound like that. Y/n, I’m so sorry, I’m not that kind of guy, I promise. I just meant that you didn’t have to buy anything special for me. You’re perfect enough as you are.” You wiped the tears that had formed in your eyes from laughing so hard as you reached over and gave his hand a quick squeeze, butterflies in your stomach at the touch of his skin on yours.

“Choso, it’s okay. I knew what you meant, it was funny but I understand the intent behind it.” You put the clothes on the rack to be sorted by the employees. “If it makes you feel any better, I’d take you out as you are now too, no fancy new clothes needed, because you’re really handsome just like this.”

Choso tried to keep his big, giddy smile internal, but he couldn’t contain his joy at hearing you found him attractive too. As you walked to the food court, he had a newfound burst of confidence and softly took hold of your hand, another trait of his you found completely endearing. He was a pretty bulky and intimidating man, but you liked how he treated things with a gentle touch. You both decided to get ramen bowls but with different toppings so you could share. Choso insisted on paying for your meal and you thanked him profusely for his generosity. When he let go of your hand only to pay and bring over both your orders to the table, you found that your hand was uncomfortably empty without his in it, even during such a short amount of time. Enjoying your meals, you both still had tons to talk about. There was never a dull or awkward moment with him and it was nice that you could be yourself around him with no fear of judgement. As you were listening to Choso talk about a funny story, he took a break from speaking to finish eating the noodle he had picked up with his chopsticks. You, too, were trying your hand at finishing a noodle but it was extremely long. When you felt tension on the noodle and noticed it starting lifting from Choso’s side of the bowl as well, your heart did a flip.

“Have you ever seen the movie “Lady and the Tramp?” you asked him, noodle dangling out of your mouth.

“Uh uh,” he replied, meaning no.

“Just follow my lead,” you said. Choso looked at you curiously but heeded your directions. You both slurped away at the noodle until it was obvious you two were eating the same one. You put your finger up to signal Choso to refrain from breaking it. You continued to bring the noodle further into your mouth, as did he, and your faces were now close together. You knew PDA wasn’t totally acceptable but the food court was surprisingly quiet for the time of day and no one was in the booths around you. If you were going to kiss him, now was the time. You gave him time to understand what would happen if you ate any more of the noodle and he had the chance to break it off and back away if he didn’t want to kiss you. Choso’s lips curled into a tiny smile as his eyes bore into yours, leaning in ever so slightly. You did the same, and your lips ever so slightly ghosted Choso’s as you—

“Hey! Choso!”

You quickly clamped down on the noodle with your teeth so it was no longer connected to the piece in Choso’s mouth. You had never moved so fast in your life to sit back in your seat normally as Yuji and his friends came barreling over to your table. Normally Choso was ecstatic to see his little brother, but he couldn’t have picked a worse time to interrupt. You were sure Yuji didn’t notice his brother pouting in his booth, the neglected noodle hanging at the corner of his mouth. As Choso sat, brooding with his arms crossed, you couldn’t help but find the timing hilarious. While Yuji was none the wiser that his brother was about to kiss someone, you were sure that Fushiguro noticed because his face was tomato red and avoiding your gaze while Kugisaki gave you a thumbs up and a wink. You shook your head, a light chuckle tumbling out of your mouth.

“I take it you had a successful shopping day?” You eyed the bags that the kids hauled over and were now strewn across several unoccupied tables.

“Of course! I love shopping. I’m very good at it,” a smug Kugisaki replied.

“Are you good at shopping or overspending on things you don’t need?” grumbled Fushiguro while Kugisaki flicked the side of his head. While they dealt with each other, you pulled out your phone to check the time. The mall was about to close! It didn’t feel like you had been here all day but time flies when you’re having fun.

“I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the mall is gonna close in like, 10 minutes and I should probably head home.”

Choso perked up at the sound of your voice while Yuji turned his conversation to his friends.

“I didn’t realize it had gotten so late, I was having such a good time with you. Can we walk you home?”

You beamed at him.

“I would love nothing more.”

The kids rounded up all of the bags as your eccentric little group headed to the train station. The entire time, Choso’s hand had found its home in yours and you couldn’t be happier at how today went. What started as a normal day ended with you potentially finding love. Even as you waited outside, sweat beginning to bead on your forehead and palms, Choso never let go of you. When you made it to your apartment door, you reluctantly let go of each other’s hands.

“I had an amazing time today with you, y/n,” said Choso, with the sincere look on his face that you had come to adore, “Would you like to go on a second date with me sometime soon?”

“I had a great time with you too, Choso. I’d love to go on another date with you.”

You both had huge smiles on your faces as you exchanged phone numbers. Before he turned around to leave, you caught his attention.

“Wait! Your hair got messed up on the train ride over here. Can I fix it for you before you go? I am an expert at this style, you know.”

He obliged, sitting on the steps so you could reach him easier. You couldn’t help but relish the feeling of running your fingers through his hair and he was equally just as happy getting his hair played with, letting out a content sigh. You twisted the hair into the right shape and got the ends to spike up to match the other bun. When you were done, you pulled out a Hello Kitty hair clip you had bought at the mall and placed it on the side of his head.

“Something to remember me by,” you explained as he stood up.

“I don’t think I could ever forget you,” he said earnestly. You leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek goodbye and Choso didn’t know if his poor heart could handle any more love from you without it going into overdrive. As you entered your doorway, Choso bid you farewell with a lovesick grin on his face. Hurrying back to the others, he couldn’t wait to debrief with them everything that had happened and get advice on what to do for the second date. When their train arrived at the station, Choso sat down and immediately slapped his palm to his face, groaning.

“Yuji?”

“Huh?”

“I forgot the fans.”

[sooverwhitesandpinks]

Bejeweled

Ceo!Harry Styles x Gf!Reader

Inspired by Bejeweled by Taylor Swift.

Warnings: angst?, fluff at the end, alcohol consumption, i think that's all. i did proofread, just not carefully.

Word Count: 2.1K

guess who finally wrote something! sorry for the months long writer's block, hope you enjoy.

Your phone lit up where you left it on the coffee table in front of you. Keeping your thumb between the open pages of your book, you reached for the device, hoping it was a text from your boyfriend.

You couldn't help but feel disappointed when you realized it was a message from your good friend, Hannah. You weren't disappointed because of Hannah, you were upset that today was becoming another one of those days without a word from Harry.

You knew being the CEO of a major company was a lot of time and dedication, but it had been months of only seeing Harry briefly in the morning and for an hour or so before bed.

As much as you loved him, you weren't getting any of that love or attention back.

'Anya, Erin, and I are going out tonight, you should join us. We haven't seen you in forever!!!'

Hannah's message stared back at you.

She was right. You hadn't been out in forever, and it's not like Harry would miss you tonight. You two were practically coexisting at this point. You stayed cooped up in this massive penthouse, Harry spent his days in his office or at business meetings and dinners. His weekends were taken up by work or trips related to the company.

Still, did you want to go out? You wouldn't mind getting ready for something other than the grocery store.

You decided you would give Harry a chance before answering Hannah. You pressed a few buttons on your phone before bringing it to your ear.

"Hello?" Harry answered on the fourth ring.

"Hey! How's your day going?" You replied, happy to hear his voice.

"It's fine so far-" You heard him shuffle around before giving someone an instruction. "Look honey, is this important? Because I've got a lot going on and my next meeting starts in a few minutes."

"Oh," you paused for a moment. "I was just wondering if you wanted to get dinner tonight? We haven't really seen each other the past couple months."

"I've got a business dinner tonight, but feel free to order in whatever you want. You know I don't mind. Was that all?" He asked.

You took a second before answering. It was one thing to practically ignore you, but it was another to make you feel unimportant. You remember when Harry made you feel like a priority, and now your relationship had been reduced to a 'good morning' and a 'goodnight'.

"Yeah, that's all," you shook your head, a sad smile tugging at your lips.

"Alright, I'll see you this evening," Harry said.

"I wouldn't count on it. I'm going out, don't wait up," you told him before hanging up.

'I miss you guys and I definitely need a night out! Where and when should I meet you?' You texted Hannah back.

5 hours later, you stood in front of the full length mirror in your closet, running your hands down the vintage Versace mini dress you picked out for some event of Harry's but never ended up wearing.

You felt good, great even. You took a long, relaxing shower. You had a glass of wine while you did your makeup and put every hair in place. It had been so long since you put time into yourself like this, you'd forgotten what it felt like to sparkle.

You grabbed a small handbag and walked out of the large closet. As you made your way out of your bedroom and down the hall, you heard the familiar sound of Harry's keys hitting the small table by the door.

With a smirk, you stepped around the corner and into view. You pretended to hardly notice Harry's presence as you grabbed your phone off of the couch and texted Hannah that you would be leaving in a few minutes.

You heard Harry's footsteps halt as he saw you. You waited a moment before looking up at him. You glanced down at the time on your phone.

"It's only 8:15, I thought you'd be at dinner," you said nonchalantly, slipping your phone into your purse.

"I moved it up a few hours so I could get home earlier," he answered, shrugging off his suit jacket.

"Ahh," you nodded, starting to walk past him and toward the door. He gently grabbed your arm and you let him, looking up at him expectantly.

"You're still going out?" He asked, brows furrowed. For just a second, you felt bad about leaving. Then you remembered how easily he dismissed you earlier on the phone, and how easily he's dismissed you for awhile now.

"Yeah, I told Hannah and the girls that I'd meet them in a few," you replied, watching his eyes scan over your body and back up to your face, pausing on your lips.

"But I moved my meeting so I could see you," he responded, his fingers slipping from your arm to your hand. His touch felt good, you'd missed him, but he can wait another night. You finally felt like you weren't the one left hanging.

"I'm sorry, am I supposed to stay home the one time I made plans because you suddenly found a way to fit me into your tight schedule?" You tilted your head, matching his pout.

"Besides, you're seeing me now. I clean up nice, huh? I bought this dress for one of your events but it'll do for tonight."

"Honey-"

"Is this important? My ride is downstairs," you said, keeping your eyes on his. You watched it click as he realized he asked you the same thing hours ago. You raised a brow, pursing your lips.

"I guess not," he took a step back. "You look beautiful, love. Have fun tonight."

"I will," you smiled, finally walking to the door and stepping out of the house.

✨ 🪩 ✨

"I"m just a little tipsy," you slurred, holding up your thumb and pointer finger.

"Me too!" Hannah squealed, throwing her arms into the air.

Anya and Erin were still out on the dance floor, but you and Hannah were tucked into a large circle booth in the VIP section of the club.

You sat with the members of some band you'd never heard of. They were apparently a big deal. Hannah was obsessed with them and had scored herself a seat on the lead guitarist's lap.

You sat between one of their friends and the drummer, who was high out of his mind, chatting away with some other people that'd made their way up to VIP.

"You wanna dance?" Hannah asked, grinning wildly from across the table.

"Definitely," you nodded. You turned to the drummer beside you who was blocking your way out.

"Moonstone!" He smiled when you turned to him. He'd been calling you that all night, something about your aura. He referred to Hannah as Amethyst and Erin as Sapphire, you didn't catch Anya's.

"Can I squeeze past you?" You asked, pointed toward the outside of the booth.

"Of course," he nodded, nudging his friends out of the booth with him so you could get to where Hannah stood.

As soon as you were free from the table, one of your hands was grabbed by her as she dragged you down to the dance floor. Your other hand was looking at your phone for the first time all night, checking to see if Harry had said anything.

You saw two messages from him.

'I took tomorrow off. I figure we could spend the day together.'

'I miss you and I'm sorry for not making you feel as important as you are. I'll hopefully spend the rest of my life making it up to you.'

Despite the frustration you felt for months because of him, you felt a lot of relief in that moment. He did still want you. He still wanted forever with you. It wasn't something you realized you'd doubted until now.

'I hope you know I expect an apology in person too.'

You texted back. Simple enough to communicate that it will take more than a text message.

'And I'm excited to spend tomorrow with you. But I'm drunk so can we start around noon?'

You added, finally looking up from your phone as Hannah pulled you deeper into the sea of dancing people. You realized she'd located Erin and Anya.

"You still wanna dance?' Hannah shouted, starting to feel the music. You hadn't noticed it before, but it was deafeningly loud.

"Maybe just for a little while. I'm getting tired," you replied, suddenly not wanting to be anywhere but home.

"Are you okay getting home by yourself?" She asked.

"I'll just get an Uber," you shrugged. "I'll pretend to be on the phone with Harry if the driver seems shady."

"Fair enough," she laughed, turning more towards Anya and Erin.

"Bye ladies, it was fun seeing you. We gotta get lunch sometime soon," you leaned in between Erin and Anya to speak, hoping they'd hear you well enough.

The two drunk and sweaty women gave you a half hug, agreeing to lunch and wishing you a goodnight before they went back to senselessly jumping to the music.

You ordered the car as you walked to the door, only stepping outside when the app said it arrived.

The ride was short and your driver was nice enough.

As you entered your building and pressed your button on the elevator, you wondered if Harry was awake. You hadn't heard from him in almost an hour when he'd texted you to say noon was fine and to be safe.

You walked through the house, stepping out of your shoes at the door and carrying them with you to the bedroom. Harry sat up in bed, his computer in his lap as he typed away at something you were sure was work related.

"Hey Honey," he said softly as you entered, closing his laptop and setting it on his side table.

"Hey," you smiled, walking straight into the closet to change.

As you stepped out in your pajamas, Harry pulled open the covers, waiting for you to crawl in beside him.

You slipped under the duvet and dropped your head onto his lap, eyes closed. You heard him rustle around in the drawer of his nightstand before he pulled something out and closed the drawer.

You opened your eyes in time to see him pull a makeup wipe from its package.

"How was your night?" He asked, lowering the wipe to your face as he started to gently remove what was left of your makeup. It was something he used to do for you after his work events and charity galas. Or when the two of you would stumble in drunk after a night out.

"It was a lot of fun," you answered honestly. Those four or five hours were fun. You saw your friends and felt good about yourself.

"I'm glad," he replied, still brushing the wipe across your skin.

"How was yours?" You asked, genuinely curious.

"It was alright. I did a lot of thinking," he waited a bit before adding. "I missed you."

"But you didn't have to, Harry," you sighed. "I've been here the whole time, and it took me doing something for myself, for once, to get your attention."

"I'm so sorry, Honey. I've been terrible. I've just been so caught up in work and trying to land this account," he started explaining.

"I know, trust me, I do. That's why I haven't nagged you about it, but I deserve to feel like a priority, Harry. I know your work is important, but I should be too. We've been coexisting for almost two months now. We're supposed to be a team," you finally told him what's been on your mind.

"We will be, we are," he finished wiping your skin, now taking your face between his hands as he looked down at you. "You're it for me and I'm sorry for making you doubt that."

"You should be. I'm a goddamn prize, you know?" You told him with your tired tipsy rasp. You lifted yourself from his lap, sitting up to face him.

"Of course I do, Honey. You're a diamond, a pearl, a jewel," he grinned, taking your chin between his thumb and pointer finger.

"I love you," you said softly, looking into the eyes that finally felt familiar again.

"I love you too," he leaned forward, closing the short distance between you.

Masterlist

Harry Styles Masterlist

[kittykat-25]

One Of The Guys - Part 4

Pairings: Hongjoong x F! Reader, Chan x F! Reader

Genre: idol au, Friends x Lovers, angst

Warnings: anxiety attacks, Feminine pet names(cupcake, bubs, love)

Summary: You tried really hard not to be a cliché, falling love with your best friend. How unoriginal. But when your best friend is Kim Hongjoong what are you supposed to do?

Now Playing: One Of The Guys- Jessia

One Week Later…

You woke up head pounding, cold sweats from the nightmare you had. As you sit up the feeling of a weight on your chest settles in and you know today is going to be rough. You rolled out of bed and started getting ready for work, hoping the heaviness would wash away. You grabbed your phone from the charger as you headed out the door and debating sending a quick text to Joong and Woo, cancelling tonight’s dinner plans; ultimately deciding against it. You didn’t want to alarm them if it wasn’t needed, knowing in the past how they’d drop whatever and come to you.

You looked down the time cursing yourself, sprinting down the steps, you didn’t feel your coffee spill; too focused on not missing your bus. As you burst out of the side door of the apartment complex you see your bus pull away from the stop and the lump in your throat forms. You pull yourself together and start walking and looking for taxis to get you to work on time. Determined to turn your day around. As you walked towards your office you looked down and noticed the coffee stain on your pants and shirt. You were already late and don’t have time to turn around and go change. You pulled your jacket out of your bag and used it to cover the wet stains in the front. Hoping your pants dried on the walk to the office.

Working as a marketer for skincare and beauty you would think the office would be a calm and relaxing place. Well not today. The shipment of samples was labeled wrong and had to go back to the warehouse. Which meant you had nothing to give out at the launch party this weekend. All of your coworkers made comments about your pants and you were pulled into your bosses office and yelled at for the sample malfunction and being late. You were holding together by a strand and could not wait until 5 to go home.

The universe wasn’t entirely cruel as Joong had to cancel dinner plans tonight to help Eden and Maddox with something. You were glad you didn’t have to bail, knowing how stressed they already were. They started the comeback next week and you probably wouldn’t see the guys for the next two months. The first few tours and comebacks without them being home was hard but the more you got used to the idol life and schedule the more you came to enjoy your time alone and found peace in it. You were living your life and they were living their dreams.

You felt your phone vibrate and looked down to a text from Chan, a smile creeped onto your face. One of the only things that had eased some of the heaviness today. “I know you said you weren’t feeling well today. So just know you’re doing a great job and I’m proud of you for going to work!” You felt the tears well up in your eyes, looking up you blocked them away, sending back a thank you text to Chan. You cleaned up your desk and gathered your things. You were almost to the elevator when your boss walked out of his office. “Miss Y/Ln, I need to see you.” You cooled your features and turned towards him, “of course sir.” You set your bag down and followed him to the meeting room. “The samples came back but all the labels need to be put on them. Since you were the one to mess up. You get to do them.” You looked at the piles of samples in front of you, there had to be hundreds of them. “Sir this will take hours.” He check his watch and walked to the door, “then I suggest you get started.” You pulled out the chair and took a deep breath, your hands shaking and eyes watering you grabbed the first sample and began.

Half past 11 you threw your bag in the floor and keys in the bowl as soon as you stepped into your apartment. You had held yourself together all day but the second you crossed into your home the damn broke and everything you had been feeling today came up. Crouched down, holding on to the counters your body shook as you sobbed. You reached for your phone, knowing he’d still be awake at this hour. As you scrolled for his contact, vision blurred by the tears you sank back into the floor. The phone rang and you tried to calm your breathing when he answered, y/n doll, I’m busy.” he started, you let out a muffed sob, “Joongie please.” He was quiet for a second, “are you hurt?” He asked, voice dry. “N-no I just…” Hongjoong cut you off, “y/n I’m sorry I just really don’t have time for this. Figure it out alright.” He said quickly then ended the call.

You pulled the phone away from your ear, hands shaking so hard it fell to the ground. You could hear the ringing in your ears. Everything in your apartment seems to shrink, feeling suffocated you half crawled into the open floor of your living room. Your phone started ringing and the sound blasting through your apartment making you jump. You swiped answering the call, a sob coming out before any words. “I’m on my way cupcake.” Mingi said before you could even explain. “Is the door unlocked love?” He asked, you heard a door close and the street life in the background. “I-I think so.” You whispered, voice hoarse from crying. You could hear Mingi running through the streets, your apartment only a block or two from their dorms. “I’m coming up cupcake.” Mingi said slightly out of breath. You mumbled something and ended the call. You curled back up in a ball, sobbing as you replayed the conversation with Hongjoong in your head.

You barely heard the front door open, jumping slightly when Mingi’s face appeared before you. Eyes laced with worry, you looked up at him and started sobbing harder. Mingi pulled you into him, running a soothing hand through your hair, letting you get all of it out. He reached behind himself to grab a blanket off the couch when you started shaking. “Y/N?” He asked quietly when your sobs have softened. You looked up at him with red eyes, puffy from all the tears. “I called Joong and- and he told me figure it out. Th-that he didn’t have time for this tonight.” You said hiccuping, more tears spilling down your cheeks. Mingi wiped your tears, “I’m so sorry cupcake.” You hugged the man tighter to you, “thank you for coming Mingi.” Mingi kissed the top of your head, “of course. Anything for our girl.” He pulled out his phone, sending a text to Wooyoung, updating him on the situation.

*At the dorms*

Wooyoung read Mingi’s text three times before he processed everything. Hands clenching an unclenching as he got off his bed and walked towards Hongjoong’s room. He saw the glow of light from under the door. He swung the the door open letting it slam against the wall. The captain with his head phones on didn’t even hear the commotion. Jongho on the other hand did and walked out of his room to investigate. Wooyoung slammed his hand on the desk, Joong looked up at him, “is it saved?” Woo asked through clenched teeth, motioning towards the laptop. Hongjoong clicked a few buttons,”yeah…” Wooyoung slammed the laptop shut. “What are you doing?” Hongjoong yelled, “WHAT AM I DOING? WHAT ABOUT YOU??” Wooyoung yelled, “what are you talking about about?” Hongjoong asked. “You are a horrible friend.” Wooyoung said, Hongjoong looked like his brother had slapped him.

Wooyoung was seething, everything from Mingis text on the forefront of this mind. Their girl, who they were supposed to protect, sobbing because of this man in front of him. “Hyung calm down.” Jongho started, “Stay out of this Jongho.” Wooyoung spat at the younger man. “Wooyoung.” Hongjoong started but Woo cut him off, “No, you left Y/N all alone when she needed you.” Hongjoong’s eyes widened, he had completely forgotten about the conversation with you earlier. “Y/n calls you sobbing and you told her to figure it out?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME JOONG!” Wooyoung tried to control his breathing but he could only picture you alone sobbing on floor. “You dare call yourself her best friend.” He spat. He turned around, mumbling a quick apology to their youngest member. Not hearing Hongjoong panicking under his breath, reaching for his phone to call you. “Fix this Hyung.” He heard Jongho say and he turned to follow Wooyoung out the door. The sound of the front door slamming in sync with the beep of you ignoring his call.

TAGLIST🥰 if you want to be included in the taglist message me!

@vampzity@sanslovesblog@sundaybossanova @skzline @edenesth @owmoiralover @scarfac3 @blackb3|| @ateezswonderland @amuromio @the-multishipper @mingisbbokari

[footiehoemcfc]

We'll be Alright pt. 2

Okay so I was able to finish this part yesterday, I definitely think it will have four parts MAYBE 5 (only if I have time to make it longer) but i'm excited for you to read it! I was going to wait until I came back to post it but when I get back I have lots of stuff to do so bare with me for part 3 I promise it won't take much longer than a week. Thankyou for all the love on the first part :) Angst fic, tw none, 2.1k words PART 3 is on my masterlist!

The whole car drive back home was horrible. You started letting your thoughts get to you. Were you too dramatic? Was it too much to let all that out while he is struggling as well? Should you just suck it up and let the season end before talking about this? Maybe. However, the conversation escalated very quickly and before you know it you just let your heart out. When you got home, you thought of calling your best friend, but you didn’t. The last thing you wanted to do was recall everything that happened. You took everything out of your overnight bag, got showered, did your normal skin care routine and feel asleep with your headphones on listening to sad music. 

The night before you didn’t even bother to check your messages to see if Mason had asked if you got in okay. You were hoping he would text you today at least. You opened your messages and nothing, nothing from him at least. Sophia had texted you asking what your plans were for the weekend suggesting having a drink today at the new rooftop bar. You had nothing else to do at night and staying at home dwelling on what happened did not seem like a good plan. You agreed and put your phone down, ready to continue with more work stuff. You had to admit, it hurt that he hadn’t texted you. It sting you, normally if you guys would bicker or argue he would always text you something reassuring, but then again you said you were done. Did you mean it as a breakup? Not really, but how would he know.

Mason on the other hand did not get any sleep at all. He replayed your argument over and over again. He knew he fucked up, but he knew you were also right. All these big decisions, he hadn’t thought through them carefully yet. It kind of bugged him you knew him like the back of your hand. He knows you know how he feels just by simply looking at him. Since he was injured and it was game day, he decided to just stay home and watch the game there. He had meetings with other agents in the morning and his mom was coming over later in the day. Watching the game he thought about texting you, but he didn’t know if you needed space or if you were even together still. He didn’t text, opting for giving you space for the weekend. 

Mason heard the front door open and saw his mom come in. Still on the couch watching the game, he got up and greeted her “Hi mom” with a smile, a sad one. “Hi darling” Debbie said smiling and hugged him. He noticed she stared at him for a little bit and knew she could tell something was wrong. You and his mom had that in common, you could read him so easily. “Why didn’t you go to the bridge today?” “I had a meeting 30 minutes before kick off and would not make it in time, also thought it would be nice to stay in”. They both sat down on the couch and continued watching the game for a little bit until Debbie spoke again “I thought y/n would be here today, where is she, how is she?” she asked smiling. You and Debbie had a great relationship and Mason loved it. You would always have coffee dates and in big family gatherings you would always stick with her because it felt more safe. Mason stopped looking towards the tv to respond, “Yea she’s alright, she’s home busy doing work stuff” “My gosh that poor girl works all the time, last time I saw her she said it was taking a toll on her” “Yea I know”. Mason didn’t know what to say. After last night, the only thing he could think of when he thought of you was the fight. “Mhm” “What is it” “Mason Mount, I gave birth to you, do you think I don’t know you?” Shit. He knew she could sense something was off. I mean if he was going to get advice on his relationship, he never thought his mom would be the first option but here they were. “It’s nothing, we just had a bit of an argument last night” he placed the remote down on the table, got up to make some tea. He knew his mom would not just be satisfied with that, he knew she would be here all afternoon interrogating him so the tea was necessary. Mason and his mom talked about it, for a while. “Listen darling, I’m your mom and I won’t tell you what to do in your relationship. You two work together, and lately you haven’t and that is not a crime. You two are allowed to fight, to make mistakes, to get annoyed, however, in a relationship you owe it to each other to try and fix it and make it work. Give her space, trust me she is probably thinking about you too. And as with the contract, honey whatever you decide to do will be the best option, but make sure it’s what you want.” Mason felt a lot better talking to his mom. She really understood him and having spent time with you too, she knew you would appreciate exactly what she had said. 

It was 9 pm and you were just finishing getting ready to go out with Sophia. You had worked all day so had little to no time to think about Mason. You knew it would come up tonight. Sophia was one of your best friends and whenever both of you had issues with Mason or Kai you were there for each other. You ordered your uber and just as you were about to leave, Mason texted you. You opened your messages to read, “Hi my love, I wanted to give you space today and I knew you had a lot of work so that’s why I didn’t text sooner. I know it’s weird between us right now but whenever you’re ready to talk I’m here”. A wave of relief hit you, you wanted him to text you, so you knew it was not over completely. You didn’t want to answer yet though. The uber arrived and got in it to go to the bar. When you arrived, Sophia was already there. She greeted you with a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. You loved nights like this, were you and her could talk about online drama, funny TikTok’s you saw and just catch up on everything especially since you had not seen her for a while. It was nearly 11 pm, you had no idea where time went by. “When should we do it then?” Sophia asked. Both of you thought it would be a good idea to spend the weekend at the Soho farmhouse, mainly her but you weren’t sure since you didn’t know when you and Mason were going to be good again. “I don’t know, maybe next weekend” “Yea we’ll have to check with them to see how their scheduling is. And we should also tell Chilly and his new girl, I met today at the bridge she is very sweet you will like her.” “Great yea, the more the merrier” you said smiling. “Okay it’s been two hours, I’ve been holding in asking you because I thought you would already tell me but what’s wrong?” You sighed knowing you had to remember everything form yesterday and tell her. You told her everything from the fight, to work to family issues and to how you were feeling. “Babe, why didn’t you tell me you were feeling like this?” “I don’t know I feel like I don’t even have time to think about myself”. The mix of alcohol and remembering last night made you tear up a bit. Sophia hugged you, “I know its tough now and yea he fucked up but I am 100% sure he already knows. I feel bad for him too because he is going through a lot too. But you guys are a couple, partners, boyfriend and girlfriend. You two just need to talk. You already told him how you felt, he needs to tell you how he feels because I’m sure he has been holding it in too. You two will get through it I promise.” You looked at her with a sad smiled and hugged her tight. 

You arrived home at 12 pm. Before falling asleep you decided to text Mason back, you knew he would be freaking out since you hadn’t responded. “Hey, I kind of figured. I feel like we both need time to think, but I love you and we’ll talk when were ready” he responded very quickly with a heart and an “I love you too” which put a smile on your face. You knew he was eager to see you and talk to you, so were you but you were right you both need time. You need to think about how to manage work better, your family and how to fix things with him and make him open up to you. He needs to think about how to open up to you, think about his future and think about the upcoming games and prepare.

4 days had passed since that night. You were busy with work still, but you were finding different ways to handle it and asked your boss for more help on the projects you were assigned. Mason had been doing some light training. The conversation he had with his mom put him at ease and made him think about the whole situation better. Your conversation with Sophia also helped a lot and it gave a new perspective on this whole thing. During these 4 days without seeing each other both of you had time to think, and you were still texting each other simple “Hellos” or just casual conversations. But it was not the same as before and it hurt both of you. Both of you just wanted to go back together to how it was. It hadn’t even been a week but it felt like torture. 

After coming home from work, you saw Sophia’s close friend story. It was a picture of her two dogs in Mason’s backyard. Weird, she would’ve told you she was seeing Mason. You didn’t think too much about it and hopped on the shower. Once you were done you checked your phone and had multiple messages. Sophia had created a group chat called “SOHO”. Fuck. Well that explained why she was at Mason’s house, they were probably planning the weekend with Kai and Chilly. If they really wanted to do it soon, it meant you and Mason would probably still be in a weird place. Sophia sent a message saying, “Okay I just added Ben and Alix, I made the reservation for this weekend Friday through Saturday so we should leave all together early in the morning to spend the whole day there and leave like 5 pm Saturday?” Everyone responded with thank yous and yes. This Friday? So, you had what, two days to try and talk to Mason? It was not going to be possible. You were trying to finish everything during the week from work so you had the weekend free and had to visit your family so seeing him would be impossible. Would it be awkward to see him until Friday and act as if nothing happened? Maybe. But you had no choice really. As you were finishing reading all the messages form the road trip, Mason sent you one “Will you be able to go?” you started typing “Yes I can go, although I won’t be able to see you until Friday”. You plopped your phone on your bed and finished getting ready for bed. When you came back to lay down on your bed, Mason had already responded “That’s okay love, I’ll see you Friday. I love you, we’ll be alright.” That melted your heart so much. It made you more confident in how you two were dealing with this little break if you can call it that. You replied with an I love you too and went to bed. 

The rest of the week you continued grinding out at work, trying to finish everything so you had nothing to worry about while you were away. On thursday you were able to visit your family, which was something you were dreading. It turned out to be surprisingly nice, and you felt better about the whole situation. You were very optimistic about the trip, you thought it would be a good idea to have some time just with Mason during one of the two days. You started looking at it in a better light now that you had kind of solved two big problems in your life, now you had to solve the most important.

[harrysmimi]

Little By Little

Synopsis: One where Harry finds out his girl is struggling with ED (Requested)

CW: mentions of ED, please put your mental health first and read with caution. And remember, you're not alone in this, you are brave, you are strong. And I love you so much! *Kissie noises*

More of my work

Harry and YN had been basically living together at this point.

They've been together for about three years and Harry had somehow now managed to convince her to stay over for the weekend and she never left. He certainly isn't complaining because he asked her to stay with him.

But lately he's been seeing her food being left over. Both of them worked, Harry is filming a movie in London and also recording his fourth studio album, YN's working on her little boutique she's so proud of as she should be. So they'd made a little rule of at least eating one meal together, he'd volunteered to make them breakfast every morning (because honestly that's the only meal he can cook without burning down his kitchen) as YN hates early mornings. So he leaves her a plate of her own. Though he waits for her to wake up and get ready for the day before he leaves for work himself. YN has switched to working from home since the Covid hit and has chose to do the same, especially when her firm didn't mind that either, it also gave her time to work on some freelancing as a Photo and Video editor aside from having a desk job a software developer.

Today, Harry was so excited to go home today. He was going to ask her to completely just move in with him. She paid the rent this month for no apparent reason, he just didn't wanted her to waste her earning like that if she's not living at her flat anymore. Or if she changes her time and needs more time, by all means he is ready to support her through.

But he would be lying if he hadn't got used to living with her, going to bed with her and waking upto her gorgeous self everyday now. He felt so whole with her now. He even wants to pop question to her, especially since she's always been so vocal about how important it was to her. He's even gone as far to take his mum with him to find a perfect ring for her.

Tonight he didn't wanted either of them cook so he got food from YN's favourite restaurant on his way back home. When he got back, he found her fast asleep on the sofa, it was Friday night he noticed then. She has Fridays and Saturdays off from work.

He didn't wake her up instead he proceeded to transfer all off the fold out of the plastic trying to make as less noise as he could knowing how much of a light sleeper his girl is. After be put lids on all of the food thermoses — great investment YN made him do — he went to check in on her before he proceeded to clean up. She had a bad habit of covering up her face with the blanket and it scares it that she's going to suffocate herself even though she's assured him many times that she can breath in just fine.

He also found it a tiny bit odd seeing her asleep in late afternoon as she's not the one to take naps but, she had much more commissioned work to do she must've been tired. Shrugging it off Harry padded his wak to the living room.

And he was just right!

She had that damn blanker over her face. He crouched next to her.

"Hey, baby, do you wanna wake up?" He called tugging the blanket off her face, "lemme see you gorgeous, I missed you today!" He cooed when she wouldn't let go.

"Five minutes!" She whined.

"Okay, but lemme see you." He requested, "there you are!" He celebrated quietly seeing her face after long hours of the day. "Hello, my love." He leans down to kiss her forehead.

"Hi," she looked at him surprised, "you came early today?"

"Mhmm," he nodded, "thought we could spend some time together for the weekend."

"Oh, I'm sorry I fell asleep watching TV." She flops on her back to look at the TV was turned off, it must have turned off on it's own as it was left unattended. She did planned to watch favourite bakery YouTuber but she just fell asleep.

"It's alright," he assured her, "do you want to wake up now?"

"Mhmm." She nodded sitting up straight midway of her yawning out her tiredness away.

"You had a good sleep?" He proceeded to take a seat in front of her, she nods again as she wraps her arms around his middle for a quick cuddle. Taking the smell of his cologne, sweet, cold and earthy tones laced with hints of sandal wood, he always smelled like he'd just gotten out of a steamy souna. "I brought your favourite so you won't have to cook tonight." He shared, snaking his own arms around her.

It was her turn to cook tonight. Mainly every dinner was on her because she really fears Harry's either going to loose a finger or two in attempt of chopping veggies and stuff or burn down his beautiful home. So she just takes it upon herself to make food.

"You did?" Her voice came as a muffle against his chest.

"Yeah," he caressed her hair gently, "do you want to go out on a walk before we eat?"

"No, we can just stay in and watch a movie or something." She suggested, pulling away from his embrace politely.

"Yeah, we can do that." He agrees, anything to spend more time with her. Though they both haven't been out since past three weeks, at he goes out for work but she haven't left her house. Even to run her errands. She instead opts to get everything home delivered.

"Okay." She said pushing the blanket off her body noticing Harry was leaning in to steal a little kiss but she moves back, watching him cant his head and look at her confusedly. "I just woke up from a long nap."

"I don't mind." He chuckled, "haven't we had morning sex many, many times?"

She sighs watching him a little hurt and press her mouth onto his in a tender kiss. He kisses her back regardless with same love.

"I need to pee so bad!" She exclaims, trying to find energy to get up. Harry giggles at her adorable laziness and watches her make a run for the bathroom.

He walks back to the kitchen and cleans up all the mess he made, wiping down the counter where he managed to spill drops of gravy and bits of rice with paper towel. He threw away all the trash and noticed she hasn't taken it out today, so he took that out himself. He made himself and his love some tea. Opening the fridge to get milk for YN's tea he saw plate of waffles he left for her today.

She didn't even take a bite frim it. He also found little storage containers with more breakfast foods he made from four days ago. Haven't she been eating? Has she been eating out? He wondered.

Harry took out all the spoilt food from the fridge to throw it away but he kept it on the counter to wait for her come back out. He is well aware that he isn't the best at cooking but she could have told him not to make her anything. Yes, it would have hurt him but not this much.

"You didn't eat you breakfast." He spoke when he saw her walking back down the stairs. Caught, she almost tripped down.

"Be careful!" He rushed towards her rather quickly, holding onto her. YN shook her head jerkingly as if she was not trying to be dizzy. "Hey what's wrong, sweetheart? You alright?" She clung onto him like a koala.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good." She nodded and stood back on het feet. Harry still walked to the sofa and her sit down as he fetched her some water. He sat next to her. "Baby what's wrong? Did you start your period?" He enquired, nit to be offensive but she does tend to feel dizzy or even pass out when she's on her period.

"No, I didn't." She gulped down half of that glass of water he gave her in one go.

It clicked to him, "did you not eat at all today? Not even the snacks I got you yesterday from the grocery trip?"

"No, I just fell asleep watching TV." She said, which entirely wasn't the truth but it was.

"I, uh, baby you need to tell me what is going on, okay? Of course you haven't been falling asleep from past four days, have you?" He was being too harsh with his interrogation so he stopped there waiting for her to answer. She just opted to drink from her water instead, so he pulled her closer to his side.

YN just leaned into his touch there. She hasn't been feeling quite good in her skin recently. So many reasons to unpack but she never felt like talking to him about it. He has helped her through many of her low, he's calmer and seems to think thoroughly in moments of crisis and she's so grateful to have found him.

Oh she couldn't list many things why she was feeling this way. Which she did not felt is right to talk about but the feeling of her stomach empty felt eerily right to her, lile it always did. She bas gotten over this in past and she's sure she can do it this time too. She loves food and she can't stay away from it really.

She did ate dinner with Harry every night. Though she served herself, quarter of what she eats, but ends up throwing up in the middle of the night in the downstairs bathroom. She just doesn't want to burden Harry with this. He's already pretty stressed with his next year's spring summer collection to be bothered by her.

"Hey, it's okay my darling angel," she heard Harry coo to her realising she has been sobbing now. "You know you can talk to me right, YN?"

"Mhmm." She nodded. "I don't know, I don't know what's, what's wrong I just want to go to bed." Her voice low like a sad whining little puppy between her cries. She's sure which are ugly too.

"Already?" He enquired which made her cry even more so it scared him. For the first time Harry didn't know how to help her or even know what was actually going on. "It's okay we'll talk about it when you're ready, okay? You want to watch TV instead?" And she just nodded.

Harry took the empty glass of water from her and kept it on the coffee table, he grabbed the remote and turned on the TV to play one of her favourite movie. He didn't even bother to change as he got her comfy next to him under the blanket she was wearing earlier. She looked up at him when she could feel his gaze on her, he just placed an assuring hand on her cheek.

"It's okay, I'm here." He whispered to her with a kiss on her forehead. YN just rested her head on his chest as she stared at the TV trying not to fall asleep on her problems the best she could.

"I, I think I wanna go on a walk." She suggested.

"Yeah?" He smiled at her, "lemme grab a jumper for you real quick then." He carefully peeled herself from her urging her to go put her shoes on, a little no-shoes-inside custom he's grown to follows since her stay. He ran upstairs to get her one of his hoodies which he helped her slip of as well put his own jacket on as it was getting a bit chilly outside.

"My baby," he tugged her closer to him, "our neighbours are getting Christmas spirit, aren't they?" He pointed out, little gruesome Halloween decorations already have been swapped with happy Christmas decorations. It made her feel that much more calmer.

"Yeah. We should put up some decorations too." She suggested looking around.

"We can do that tomorrow," he agreed. "Feel any better?"

"Mhmm." She sounded, "don't feel like talking about it."

"That's okay, whenever you're ready baby." He pressed a kiss on top of her head. It wasn't that late so they took the bus to the mall to look around for a Christmas tree. "We should get a real one."

"No, it's gonna die by the end of the week." YN chuckled at his suggestion. "We can reuse these ones."

"That's boring. A real would be eco-friendly options."

"Not when you'll have to buy another one to be put on actual Christmas day." She pulled him to the little gift section to look for inspiration to buy presents for his mum and sister. Whilst her parents didn't approved of Harry, his family welcomed her very warmly into theirs.

When they went back home, Harry tried to serve them dinner he bought with him. YN didn't say much but pushed around her food after taking three bites waiting Harry to finish up.

"Sunshine you didn't eat anything." He cooed to her, "a little more?"

"No, I, I ate." She shook her head, "I'm just not that hungry."

"Why not baby?" He pulled his chair closer to hers seeing tears brim in her eyes behind her glasses, "hey lovie, it's okay you can tell me."

"It just feels good to not to," she admitted, "I just don't want to eat."

"Well you gotta fuel your body, don't you? Why do you feel that way, hmm, do you wanna tell me?" He asked, carefully reaching for her hands in her lap.

"I don't know. It feels better to feel hungry and not eat. I deserve it." She choked, "I don't want to do that. But I don't want to feel this way either. I don't know what is going. I, I don't know what do!"

"Hey, c'mere." He got up picking her up with her legs wrapped around his hips as he walked upto their bedroom, somewhere she's more comfortable to talk. He tucked her under their blanket as he slipped next to her. She cried in his chest. "No one deserves to be hungry, okay? Especially my girl. It is going to be difficult but we can make things better."

"I don't mean to cry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She cried even more.

"It's okay to cry, lovie, don't ever apologise for that." He held onto her tightly, "please don't take this a wrong way, okay? Do you think you want to get professional help? If not then it's fine, we'll figure out a way to make you better."

"I don't know," was her answer.

"That's alright!" He assured her, "you can take it all little by little okay? What do you say we start from tomorrow morning?"

"Mhm!" She nodded, "I want to sleep now."

"Of course my baby, go to sleep I'll be here when you wake up."

.....................................................................

It's been long six months now.

Harry had been trying to help his girl the best he could. It made him happy when she recently agreed on, he'd drove her to her therapist's office just this morning on his way to work.

Meanwhile they've been going on morning and evening walks, it helped her though it was not enough. But at least it was getting her somewhere to begin with. She'd still try and stall her way out of it, but Harry's there by her side.

He went home early today, to make them a nice dinner. Nice Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, it was her favourites as she ordered it on their first lunch date. He had Shania Twain playing in the background in low volume, as he sang along to her putting together a dinner.

"Where did you come from?" He heard his surprised girlfriend, she was stopped in the middle of the living room with her bag hung over her shoulder and a little paper bag from the tech shop. She must have bought another SD card he figured.

"Work...?" He laughed knowing exactly what she meant. He's been working late so it was a surprise to her, "how is your day going so far?"

"Good, had to mail the SD I had to my client so I went to buy a new one." She held up the tiny paper bag in her hand, "I am never taking his projects again for sure."

"Why are they demanding?" He asked.

"He's been constantly emailing me to mail the SD to him so that his wedding pictures don't get posted anywhere else it's infuriating I made him pay for it!" She ranted in one go as she stomped in kitchen and got herself a glass of water.

"Karen, isn't he?" He chuckled making her giggle too.

"You know how expensive SD cards are. God!" She sighed. "What are you doing?"

"Making us dinner." He he was chopping up Tomatoes for the soup.

"Do you want me to help you?" She offered, "please?"

"Why not baby!" he agreed.

"I'll go change real quick, don't start without me." She said already making her way out of the kitchen.

"Oi, come back here now!" He faux-scolding made her stop dead in her tracks, she walked back to him, "gimme a kiss." He leaned down to match her height with a cheesy smile on his face.

Of course she leaned in, her small hand cupping his jaw in between her thumb and fingers gently. Looking him dead in the dead with the softest smile he's seen on anything, waiting for her to give him the kiss. She pulled back to his dismay.

"Ask nicely next time." She tried to run away but he is rather swift with his moment he caught her by her hips and turning her around started tickling her. "Ah, Harry!" She squirmed, giggling.

"Is this nice enough?" He teased her, tickling her sides where she's more ticklish.

"Stop," she grabbed onto his elbows to stop him, catching onto her breath. He got his kiss. She smeared her lips on his the smile never fading. "We should get rid of your shirts and tank tops."

God he looked so deliciously handsome in his white tank!

"Why so? You don't like 'em?" He asked, his nose skimming against her cheek, making butterflies go haywire in his tummy.

"I do, but I prefer you without them." Taking advantage of their closeness to place another kiss on his mouth.

He chuckled softly, "well then let's go upstairs and fix it, would you like that?"

"I'd love that." She agreed, "but not now, I've got work." With that she slipped through his arms.

"You cheeky monkey!" He smacked her bum before she ran upstairs laughing. He'll have his way with her later!

......................................................................

"Put some more!" YN whined at Harry being skimpy at adding spices.

"No, it's gonna be too spicy!"

"You are literally so white, move!" She pushed him to a side.

"Hey!" He whined but he let her do her thing. At least she's trying to be involved.

Finally being done with cooking, they both sat down at the coffee table on the floor with their favourite show on the TV.

Harry doesn't like to make it too obvious to her, but he's always been keeping an close eye at her eating habits now. Not to be creepy. Not to be disrespectful. But he's doing it just to keep up with her progress. She was doing great last week, eating at least one full meal.

He saw her taking just two bites off her grilled cheese and a few full spoons of soup before she stopped.

"Baby?"

"Hmm?" She looked at him.

"How was your first session today?" He enquired.

"We talked." She started, "he said that it'll take a few sessions to see we get along and stuff. But so far I, I think he can help me."

"Yeah? I'm so happy for you, baby!" He smiled, pulling her in a brief embrace. "I love you."

"I love you too." She smiled, seemingly contained. "I can't eat anymore." She said putting back the spoon her bowl.

"You want me to make you something else?" He suggested, "it's okay, you can eat more later."

"No," she shook her head in disagreement, "I don't feel like it. I'm sorry, I know you came home early to cook and all. It just tastes bitter to me I don't know why. Sorry."

"Hey, stop apologising, babylove." He cooed, "it's okay. I promise."

"This is so bad." Her voice cracked, "I don't feel like eating sometimes and when I do, everything tastes, so, so bad. I don't know." A few tears make their way down her cheeks, "I feel like I'm being ungrateful for everything you're doing for me. I promise I'm not, I'm trying."

"I'm so proud of you for trying to get better, my love." He hugged her again, "it's alright. I can't imagine what you're feeling right now but I can tell you, I've never once felt you're being ungrateful, okay? It's okay, do you feel like eating right now?"

"Mhmm." She nodded.

"You want me to make you something else?"

"This is going to go to waste." She cried even more, feeling there are many people out there who are hungry and deserve to be fed and she's waste it all by simply not eating. It was a big internal turmoil she had been going through.

"It won't, I'll eat this for lunch tomorrow." He assured her, "you want me to make you Ramen?"

"What if I don't feel like eating that too?"

"Then that's fine, baby you don't have to cry. Please?" He requested, not knowing how to make her feel better. "Okay, let's go on a walk and see how you feel, what do you say?"

"Yeah, I'd like that." She agreed.

......................................................................

Another six months later. YN was doing better. She had to switch her therapist but she has been recovering well and good.

N O T E :

This was so difficult to write 🥺 but I tried. I am not sure how this one's gonna do.

I also apologise for the lame ending. I don't know how I should have ended it.

Tag list:

@vrittivsanghavi @buckymydarlingangel @sweetwritingfanficfriend @theroosterswife24 @sleutherclaw @melllinaa @michellekstyles @sunshinemoonsposts @marialikescherries @japanchrry Lemme know if you want to added to the tag list

[thetriumphantpanda]

Cruel Summer | Javier Peña (Chapter Two)

You've been trying your best to keep yourself busy and away from Javier since he arrived back, but an invitation to dinner and a slip of the tongue have you in trouble in more ways than one.

Pairing | Javier Peña x Female Reader

Word Count | 2.8K

Warnings | Angst, feels, alcohol consumption and descriptions of physical domestic abuse, but nothing else I can think of.

Authors Note | Thank you so much for all the love on the last instalment of Cruel Summer. I have to admit I've been loving working on this so hopefully it shows! If you enjoy this then likes, reblogs, and comments in my ask box make my day.

The sun was hot on the skin of your legs as you lounged against the tree. It provided just enough shade for it to be pleasant to sit outside but you knew when you got home the heat would have prickled your skin and burnt it enough to sting. Not that you cared as you watched the tall body walking up the hill to meet you. You smiled as Javier came into view, standing in the sun’s path to block the heat to the bottoms of your legs. 

“You’ll get burnt like that, hermosa.” He mused, setting down the small cooler next to you before sitting down. 

“It’s a small price to pay,” You replied, “What did you bring today?” 

He opened the top of the cooler and produced two bottles of beer that had been sat on ice since he left home. He popped the top off one before handing it over to you, doing the same to his own before he leant against the tree. 

The two of you had been meeting like this every Saturday for months. Javi was older than you by a few years, but your parents were good friends. You’d spent many years of your life with him, first as a young child playing at the front of the ranch with his mother keeping a keen eye on you whilst your parents ran errands, then spending every morning and afternoon once he’d learnt to drive being taken to and from school until he left. Since joining the DEA the time you’d spent together had dwindled, but he still made sure that every Saturday afternoon he made the short drive to the small park at the end of all the ranches to sit in the sun and put the world to rights with you. 

It was no secret to you that you had a crush on him, you’d told yourself it was only natural – you’d spent a huge proportion of your childhood with him, watching him grow from a boy into a man, and what a man he’d become but in this town there were very few opportunities for friends and he had embedded himself as one of your closest. You weren’t going to risk telling him how you really felt and losing the one friend who you knew would be there for you through anything.

When you look over at Javi you noticed a pensive look drifting across his face, “What are you thinking about?” You asked, leaning your head against the tree to look at him. 

“I’ve been offered a posting outside of Laredo.” He replied, taking a sip of his beer. 

“Javi that’s great!” You exclaimed, reaching out to touch his arm, “You’ve always wanted to get out of here.” 

He nodded, “It’s Colombia, hermosa.” 

It took a second for you to realise the implication of what he’d said. Colombia. South America. Probably as far away as he could get. A few months ago when he’d spoken about wanting to leave Laredo it had hurt, but you’d imagined a posting over the border in Mexico where he might still be able to steal weekends away on the hill with you. There would be none of that in Colombia. 

“It’s a long way,” You sighed, “But Javi this is what you’ve always wanted, to get out of here and make a real difference and this would be your chance.” 

He was silent for a while, “I haven’t said yes yet,” He admitted, “I haven’t even told Pops, I’m pretty sure he’d tell me to try and change the world from here.” 

You grabbed hold of his hand and gave it a tight squeeze, “If it’s what you want Javi then you have to go,” You pressed, “Forget what everyone else thinks around here.”  “I have to give them my answer by next week and then it’ll be a month and I’ll be gone.” He admitted, dread pooling in your stomach at the thought of him being gone in such a short amount of time. 

“I’ll miss you,” You admitted, trying to catch his eye so he would look at you, “But you know I’d be so proud.” 

He looked at you then, squeezing your hand back, “I’ll miss you too hermosa.” 

***

Wednesday’s had become your least favourite day of the week. Since you’d been married to Ethan your mother had insisted on you having dinner with her every Wednesday night. It usually descended into the two of them talking about how you should give up on the shop and it’s teetering finances and find a real job or your mother pestering you that by year two of marriage she really had expected grandchildren by now. 

Ethan was travelling for work this time, but it didn’t make the encounter any less miserable. She’d berated you over carnitas she’d made when you admitted you’d charged Gabriela a pittance for her dress alterations and a dramatic side eye and sigh when you poured yourself a second glass of wine whilst you helped wash the dishes. 

“Have you been to see your father recently?” She asked as you both sat down in the small living room. 

“I haven’t had a chance mama,” You admitted, feeling guilt deep into your bones at the fact it had been months since you’d visited your father’s grave to pay your respects, “I promise to go this weekend.” 

She nodded in the way she always had when she didn’t believe a word you’d said before a flash of realization crossed her features, “You’ll have to go on Sunday, Chucho has invited us to dinner.” 

You drew in a breath, “What for?” 

“Didn’t you know Javier is back?” She asked, “Chucho thought it would be nice for us all to gather like the old times.” 

You nodded as you drained your glass of wine, “I’d seen him around a few times,” You mused, “I suppose if Chucho has invited us I can make time.”  “He also said to bring Ethan, the more the merrier after all.” 

You hoped the groan that left your lips hadn’t been too noticeable, but your mother was already reeling off instructions that you’d need to bring a dessert and something to drink to show your appreciation. 

Making an excuse to leave you promised you’d put a Tres Leches cake together and ask Ethan to pick up some drinks. You hadn’t even hugged her as you left, already playing through each horrendous scenario that the night could end in. It would be a long week. 

***

“I don’t even know why we need to be here.” Ethan spat as he parked the car in front of the Peña ranch. 

“Because we were invited and it’s a nice thing to do.” You reply bluntly, moving to leave the car but feeling Ethan’s hand wrap around your wrist. 

“I want you to behave tonight, do you understand me?” 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” You spat back at him. 

“I mean, don’t get drunk and embarrass me.” 

“Understood.” You replied simply, using enough force to free your wrist from his grip to leave the car. 

You’d picked up the cake and were halfway to the porch before he was following behind you with the case of beer you’d insisted he bring along. 

“Mija there you are!” Your mother had exclaimed as she tore open the front door, “You’re late.” 

“Sorry mama,” You apologized, giving her a slight hug before moving out of the way to let her greet Ethan, “We just ran a little behind.” But she wasn’t listening, instead taking her time to fawn over your husband. 

You walked through the ranch house you knew so well to find Chucho at the counter chopping up vegetables for a salad, “Hey Chucho.” You greeted, feeling warmth pool within you as he smiled, setting his knife down to embrace you. 

“Querida, it’s good to see you,” He spoke into your ear, “I hope that’s Tres Leches.” 

“Of course, I know it’s your favourite, I spent the evening making it last night.” 

He told you to set it in the fridge and help yourself to one of the chilled drinks, which you did, setting one out on the counter for Ethan when he’d finally stopped speaking to your mother, “Where’s Javier?” You asked. 

“Oh he’s just finishing up in the shower,” Chucho replied, going back to his chopping, “We had some work in the barn that took longer than expected but he should be down soon.” 

Almost like he could hear the conversation from upstairs you head boots padding along the hallway and down the stairs and within moments Javier was stood in the kitchen.

“Hello.” He greeted you simply, placing a hand at the small of your back and giving you a quick kiss on the cheek just in time for Ethan and your mother to join you in the kitchen. 

You saw thunder cross Ethan’s face at the vision of Javier’s hand ghosting your back whilst he pulled away slightly from your face. 

“You must be the Javier Peña everyone is talking about.” 

“I suppose I must be,” Javier replied in a similarly cold tone as he held out his hand, “You must be Ethan.” 

You’d half expected Ethan to refuse to shake his hand but watched as his eyes flicked quickly to Chucho who was overseeing the whole interaction. He reluctantly outstretched his hand but let go of Javier as soon as he could. 

“Why doesn’t everyone sit down and I’ll bring dinner through in a moment.” Chucho offered, attempting and quite frankly failing to cut the tension in the room. 

“Sounds great Pops,” Javier spoke, not tearing his hard stare from Ethan, “Dining room is just through here.” 

***

Dinner had been tense, the only sounds of conversation had been your mother and Chucho talking about the comings and goings of the townsfolk. 

“How is your shop doing, mija?” Chucho asked as the table started to finish up with eating. 

You’d sat yourself opposite Javier and next to Ethan, who had snorted at the question, causing your eyes to flick to watch Javier’s expression which was one of disbelief, but you were thankful he kept his thoughts to himself. 

“It’s alright, thank you Chucho,” You replied, setting your cutlery down on your empty plate, “Most people go to the bigger shop a few streets over but I have enough regular customers to keep me afloat.” 

“That’s good, I’m glad,” He smiled at you, taking a sip of his cold soda, “Javi said you’d been very adept at fixing the buttons on his jeans earlier in the week.” 

You could feel the tension run through Ethan at Chucho’s revelation that you had in fact seen Javier after he’d expressly told you not to. You tried not to let on that once you left that evening this would cause a huge amount of arguing at the very least. 

“Honestly it was nothing,” You reassured him, “I think sewing buttons onto pants was the first thing I ever learned to do so it’s like second nature to me, it was honestly no trouble.” 

“Well, I’m sure I’ve got a few garments that could do with a freshen up and a fix, I’ll have Javi drop them by sometime next week.” 

You smiled, grateful that Chucho wanted to support your small venture, “Of course, and if there’s anything new you want, I’m happy to provide a discount, I started making shirts a few months ago so they’re not the best but maybe if the most popular rancher in town wears them I might get some more business.”  “You know this is why you struggle financially,” Came Ethan’s voice, chiming into the conversation, “If you stopped giving things to people for practically nothing you wouldn’t struggle to keep the place open.” 

You turned and glared at him, “The Peña’s have always been my friends,” You spoke, trying to keep your tone as neutral as possible, “You only get more business here through word of mouth.” 

“No, you get more business by being savvy with what you do, I didn’t build my business on the good will of my friends.” 

You looked across the table at Javier who had his eyes trained on you, watching and waiting for his moment to back you up. 

“Of course, my mistake,” You spoke, pushing your chair back to stand from the table, “Excuse me, I’ll get started on the dishes.” You stood up, taking your own plate before leaving the room. 

***

Once the dishes were done you’d watched as Ethan and your mother had sat with Chucho in his living room to have a further drink before you all headed off for the evening. You chose to sit outside on the back porch, not wanting to be the subject of another humiliating conversation. 

You’d wrapped yourself up as small as you could on the bench, legs tucked under you, watching the stars when the backdoor opened and Javier appeared, two glasses in hand. He silently held one out to you which you gratefully took. 

He took a seat next to you and you both sat there silently for some time, both sipping drinks and watching the stars together. 

“He’s not nice to you at all, is he?” Javier mumbled next to you. 

“Javi please, I can’t do this right now.” You pleaded with him. 

“I meant what I said the other day,” He spoke softly, “You deserve someone who is good to you and what I saw tonight is definitely not that.” 

You hummed, taking a long sip of the cold drink in your hand, “I don’t think either of us particularly enjoy this situation,” You admitted, “We’d only dated a little while when dad was diagnosed, I think mama knew he wouldn’t be around forever so she asked him to marry me so dad could see it happen before he died,” You scoffed, “Not that he cares now of course, he’s dead.” 

Javi reached out to take hold of your hand which you recoiled from, “I don’t need your sympathy Javier, I made a choice to go along with it and now I have to live with the consequences.” 

“Hermosa,” Javier breathed next to you, “What did I always tell you about doing things for others?” 

He was right. Before he left for Colombia Javier had always told you not to live your life for anyone but yourself. He’d truly taken his own advice but what had you done? Stayed within the same four walls of your family home until you were married to a man you were pretty sure couldn’t stand the sight of you most nights whilst trying and ultimately failing to keep your own business open. 

“I’m fine,” Was all you said in reply, “It’s just a rough patch, I’m sure we’ll be alright soon – he’s got some stressful deals at work to seal.” 

“You know I’m always here for you, querida.” Javier spoke as you stood up from the bench.

You couldn’t help but scoff at him, “Right,” You said, turning to look at him, “And where were you when I really needed you?” 

***

“I specifically told you to stay away from him!” Ethan was roaring into your face now that you were home, “And you completely disobeyed me.” 

“Ethan he came into my shop, what was I supposed to do?!” You screamed back, “I can’t have a sign on the door that says, ‘everyone but Javier Peña is welcome’ can I?” 

“Even tonight, I know you went outside with him, didn’t you?” He asked, walking towards you so that you were caged against the wall, “Did you let him touch you?” 

“I sat outside and talked to my friend, not that it matters but no, he did not touch me.” You spat, watching as he inched closer to you. 

“You have plenty of friends, what the hell do you need him for?” 

“The only friend you’ve ever let me keep since you walked into my life was Gabriela and that’s only because you know if you tried to cut her off, she would kick your ass!” You screamed at him, “Javier is one of the only good things I have left in my life, and I will not let you take that from me as well.” 

You felt a sharp sting to your cheek as Ethan struck a hand to your face, “You ungrateful bitch,” He spat at you, “I have given you everything! A house, a car, the fucking money to start that stupid shop of yours, a wedding that other girls could only dream of, and this is how you thank me?” 

Tears fell from your eyes from the pain of the strike to your face and your chest was heaving from the screaming. You waited for the next hit but nothing came – Ethan stormed off down the hallway and slammed the bedroom door, leaving you to slide yourself down the wall and onto the floor, clutching your knees to your chest as you allowed yourself to cry your frustrations out, only moving once you were sure he’d be asleep to crawl onto the couch to sleep yourself. 

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[callmewrinkles3]

Sandwiches

Summary: Dan’s delayed coming home from winter testing. Emmy’s in bed. Fluff.

March 2019

The flight from Barcelona to London wasn’t long, but Dan was exhausted. Two weeks of winter testing meant his brain was mush in a good way. The car felt good. Not great, but he was comfortable. He could work with comfortable. But then there was a delay so they were diverted to Gatwick and it was a pain getting through. But finally after far too long he was getting his bag and getting into the taxi with Blake.

Emmy hadn’t replied to his landed text so hopefully she was actually asleep for once. She never really slept when he was driving, even in testing when it was safe. But then they were in the taxi and he put his phone away so he didn’t smile stupidly at it and give everything away. Having his manager and one of his best mates living next door to his girl was awkward for so many reasons. Especially this one.

“Talk to you tomorrow, Mate? Well, today?” Blake asked and Dan shook his head.

“Day off? Weekend off, fuck it. When’s the next thing I actually have to do? Sim work, right?”

“Sim on Monday yeah.”

“Fuck it. We’re off this weekend. I’m gonna spend it sleeping and stretching.”

“See ya.”

The driver pulled back onto the road until Dan got him to stop beside the 24 hour shop. “Just here, thanks.”

“I thought you were out further?”

“My girl’s in his building and we’re keeping it quiet for now. We’re all friends.”

“Good luck.”

It was a ten minute wait to make sure Blake was actually in his place before Dan started the minute walk down the street. He spent the time productively and picked up a bouquet of flowers for Em. They’d very carefully ignored Valentines Day, unwilling to have that conversation and let his heart be broken if she didn’t feel the same way he did. So instead it was purple and yellow tulips that he had in his hand while he climbed the three sets of stairs to get to the tiny attic apartments.

Opening the front door by pushing in the one spot guaranteed not to squeak, the first thing he noticed was the chill in the air. A quick glance at the crap storage heaters showed they were supposed to be on, but there was no heat emitting from them. Fucking landlord too cheap to fix it even when Dan had called multiple times after Em had. She’d repeated the story about how the handyman taught her how to use the heaters instead of checking them one too many times, her “I was using them in uni halls and I was warmer then, Danny!” filling the air.

Sitting in the middle of the table was a beeswax wrap covered plate and a bottle of water. Pulling the wrap off he discovered the BLT sitting there on crusty bread. His girl always left him something if she was going to bed, crisp bacon and tomatoes that were well insulated to stop the bread going soggy making him so happy. This was home. The way no matter what was going on Em made sure to have a sandwich waiting for him to get back to her if he was due in at night. For the first time in too long there was someone who cared about him just because she liked him and that was magical.

He finished eating and took a swallow from the bottle before capping it and wrapping his arms around himself to keep the heat. It was quick to brush his teeth and run a cloth over his face to get the worst of the travel grime off. But finally he pushed open the bedroom door to see the best thing. His Emmy was curled up on the side of the bed he usually slept on, a black and yellow hoodie on to keep her warm in the March chill. Her arms were wrapped around the Jigglypuff plushie he’d bought for her in Japan the year before and she was so peaceful it nearly hurt him to have to get her to move. He pulled his clothes off quickly and pushed the starry night duvet out of the way so he could slip into the bed.

“I’m back, Emmy. It’s just me,” he murmured as her eyes opened and a grin spread across her sleepy face.

“Missed you.”

“Missed you too.” He kissed the top of her head as she curled up against his chest and tried to get comfy again. A moment later he felt her shuffle and watched as her hands moved her hoodie up.

“What’s up?”

“Wanna feel your skin. Know it’s you. I-“ She was cut off by a yawn. “The hoodie made me think you were Jigglypuff but I’m too sleepy.”

“I’ve got you. Hands up for a minute.” It took less than a minute for him to pull her hoodie off and throw it across the room, leaving her bare skin pushed against his as they curled under the blankets and got warm again.

“Nigh-night Danny. Tell me about testing tomorrow. We’ve got time.” Dan watched Em’s eyes close as she curled in tighter, their legs tangling together. They were flying to Australia in a couple of days to spend time in Perth before Melbourne and he couldn’t wait. It was two and a bit weeks that he got to spend almost entirely with Em curled up beside him with his family there. In the quiet of the night he could admit it to himself. He couldn’t wait to spend time at his home race with the woman he was in love with.

[nattinatalia]

Urban Wyatt x Reader : PICNIC DATES

Today was just not your day, maybe you were overreacting but that’s how you felt.

It was Mother’s Day, and up until now you still haven’t had any sort of text or calls from Urban or your daughter.

It was his weekend to have Cassie and unfortunately he had to travel with Jack for the week, so his only option was to take Cassandra with him. Which you didn’t mind at all, he’s a great father. But you had forgotten it was Mother’s Day week and you were missing your daughter.

You were in bed all day, but you decided to stop with the self pity and actually do something, even if it’s on your own or even if it means finishing a bottle of wine.

You were finishing up setting up a charcuterie board when you heard muffled voices come from the living room.

You quickly grab a baseball bat you had in the walk in pantry and make your way to the living room.

“I’m calling the co-CASSIE?” You gasp out surprised to see her, since she’s supposed to be in New York.

“Hi mommy.” She waves at you.

“What are you doing here?” You look around, not finding a mop of blond curly hair. “Where is your father?”

“Outside.” She points to the slide door, so you try to open it but Cassie blocks your way. “Not time yet.”

You smile down at her and raise your eyebrow, “What are you two up to?”

“N-nothing.” She covers her mouth and shrugs.

“Okay you little liar.”

She gasps, “I’m no liar, it’s a surprise.” She crosses her little arms against her chest.

“Aww, I’m sorry princess, you’re right you aren’t a liar.”

The slide door is being opened and a smiling Urban walks in. “Hi.”

“Hello.��� You smile at him shyly. The two of you might be taking time apart from one another, but you can’t lie that your heart skips a beat every time he’s near.

“How’s it going?”

You nod, “Way better now that you two are here.”

“Ugh guys.” Cassie interrupts your little moment. “Can we get to it?.”

“Cassandra Wyatt, watch yourself little lady.” Urban tells her.

“Well I want to see it too, you can smile at each other out there.” She points outside.

“Alright, let’s go.” Urban faces you and extends his hand out for you so you take it.

You three walk outside to the backyard and see the most beautiful setup. “Urban, this is-wow.”

He had a picnic section on one side of the yard, on the blanket laid all of your favorite snacks, drinks and food with some flowers. He also set up the screen projector and had candles spread around on the other side of your yard.

“You like it?”

You shake your head, “I love it.” You go to hug him. “Thank you so much.”

“Mommy, daddy got you flowers and chocolate.” Cassie runs to sit down on the blanket.

“Did you help him baby?”

She nods “I got the blankets and did the drawings. He did the rest.”

“Well I love it all baby, thank you.”

You three sit down and start snacking.

“You okay?” Urban notices that you’ve gone quiet and that you’re crying.

“Yeah.” You hiccuped. “I just thought I was going to be alone today.”

“Hey.” He pulls you to his side. “It’s Mother’s Day, when have I left you alone to celebrate?”

You shake your head “I just thought since we’re taking time to think things through, that you wouldn’t be here.”

“I love you, I’m never going to stop loving you. I had to be here, just like I’ll be here every day and every Mother’s Day that’s to come.” He kisses the top of your head.

“Happy tears mommy?” Cassie says, staring at you both but blowing bubbles.

You nod. “Most definitely princess.”

Cassie goes back to blowing her bubbles, you sit up and face Urban. “I love you, I promise you I’m working on it. I’m working on getting us on the right path.”

He shakes his head, “Don’t think about that right now, let’s just enjoy today. Let’s eat all this junk food, and enjoy our family time.”

“Okay, yeah you’re right.” You wipe your tears, lean in closer to Urban, to the point your foreheads are touching. “Thank you.”

“AWW, KISS KISS KISS.” Cassie chants.

You and Urban both smile at that.

“Well Mr. Wyatt, you heard your daughter.” You whisper.

He pulls back and looks down to your lips, then to your eyes to make sure you were one hundred percent sure. “Y/N?”

“Don’t keep me waiting.” You tell him.

Those words were all he needed to hear, he leaned in, placing his hand on your cheek and kisses you.

It’s a toe curling kiss, you missed his lips against yours, you missed the way your body gets warm whenever his lips would touch you.

“YAYYYYY.” Cassie cheers.

You both pull away and laugh.

“We’re going to make it through, just watch.” He whispers into your ear.

That sounded like a promise and if there’s one thing you love about Urban, is that he always keeps his promises.

• • • • • • •

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