#but now i'm less sad because rainbows

[uva124]

THE MOMENT WE WERE ALL WAITING FOR, FINALLY FINISHED THE DESIGN OF ASTER YESSSSSS ✨✨✨✨✨✨❤❤

This design belongs to the Wish rewrite called "The kingdom of wishes" (Written by @annymation and soon illustrated by @emillyverse and me)

Sorry for the delay, but this guy had so many things to draw and I also had a thousand ideas that it took me a while to capture them all (4 drawings wow, even I'm surprised lol)

Now after this introduction I will tell you the procedure of its design :]

2D MODEL:

-Maybe some don't notice it, but for the 2D drawing of Aster I didn't add many shadows, because in the classic Disney movies the animation doesn't have many shadows if we look closely, this is for several reasons (at that time they had to inking FRAME BY FRAME, can you imagine how much longer it would have taken to add detailed shadows? I really have respect for the animators)

(Here are some examples of what I'm trying to explain)

-As I said before, I didn't detach myself much from the concept art of the movie, I just added some other details that occurred to me, Anny and Emy.

-We decided that his cape would have the constellations of the signs of the zodiac (It was Emy's idea), which in the final result are on the cape, the constellations are noticeable more or less depending on Aster's mood.

-In the Wish rewrite it is mentioned that Aster's hair is like a candle (Reference to Hades) so I decided not to add the lineart in that part

His hair changes depending on his emotions, but not only that, but also his lineart, the calmer he is, the cleaner his animation will be, however with strong emotions (anger, sadness, nervousness) his details will be more neglected, especially when He is REALLY angry, by the way I made his hair look like a flame to give more drama to his design and also make a reference to Ember from Elemental

And as a final detail, the star-shaped gem that she has as a brooch changes color, just like her earrings.

3D MODEL:

-When Aster disguises himself as a human, his details on his clothes would disappear and the shape of his accessories would change to ones without a star shape, also the tone of yellow would look duller, you know so as not to draw attention (although he is dressed like a prince with a giant cape, the boy doesn't know how to hide the truth very well lmao)

-In general, it's just that the design becomes simpler, the only thing that changes is her hair that is no longer a flame, her freckles that are no longer little stars, her clothes no longer have so many details and her mark on her eye disappears(￣▽￣) .

By the way, I wanted to thank @the-autistic-idiot for giving us the great idea of ​​Aster having a star-shaped mark on his eye :D.

-Also, I think that those who have seen my other Wish redesigns are wondering why it seems like I had spit a rainbow at Aster's 3D drawings, what happened is that when I was painting my neurons said ✨Change your coloring✨ and well, The drawing in the end came out like this, although I honestly like it better, it better represents how I draw in a traditional way

Yes, basically the coloring of my drawings is as if a unicorn had spit on them lol

FINAL COMMENTS:

-It was very fun to draw Aster! The boy really has a lot of changes, but thanks to him I already discovered my digital drawing style so I am satisfied.

-Again sorry for the delay, I know that for many Aster must be their favorite character so I hope your wait was worth it :]

See you next time!✨✨

[wildlife4life]

WIP Wednesday

Tagged by @try-set-me-on-fire @jesuisici33 @lover-of-mine @fortheloveofbuddie @cal-daisies-and-briars @exhuastedpigeon @monsterrae1 @disasterbuckdiaz @tizniz @theotherbuckley and @diazsdimples You are all super awesome! Thank you so much!

Happy trailer drop day! Hope ya'll are having some fun clowning, theorizing, and freaking out in general. I am. Hope I can add to that fun with another NFL Buck snippet, though I'm not too sure. This is a kind of sad snippet, featuring Red. Enjoy? (All things NFL Buck)

Eddie is midway through a somewhat calm 24 hour shift when his phone vibrates with a call. Caller i.d. shows a picture of his previous captain Tommy Vega with her twin daughters smiling bright at the last Texan's game Eddie brought them too. He is slightly confused as to why she would be calling in the middle of the afternoon on a Wednesday, but Tommy is a good friend and Eddie is always happy to talk to her. "Hey Tom's this is a pleasant surprise." Eddie answers abandoning his UNO cards, and leaning back in his chair. Across the table, a slightly irritated Chim scowls, mouthing 'Tom's' towards Hen sitting at the head of the table, who just shrugs and sets her own cards down, officially putting the game on pause. "Oh thank god." Ravi groans under his breath, slumping down in his chair next to Eddie's. Poor probie has had to draw way too many cards and Chimney was an evil bastard who kept making him draw one too many cards. "Eddie." Tommy states, her voice apologetic and layered with grief. Immediately, Eddie gets to his feet, and stalks over to kitchen, ignoring his crew mates startled and concerned looks. The last time Tommy said his name in such a way, his friend and previous paramedic partner Tim had been killed by a freaking lava rock. So yea, Eddie knew this tone of voice from Tommy meant only bad news and he needed the space to hear it. "Tommy, what is it?" He asks glumly, bracing himself for the worst. The paramedic captain lets out a wet sigh, "Its Red, Eddie. The cancer's back and they're saying he has less than six months." His stomach drops to his feet. Not Red. Not the man that not only Buck looked up to, but Eddie as well. The man who gave him and Buck a safe haven to be a couple. The man who is practically a pseudo-godfather to Christopher. His red door and sign, one of the most prominent points of Eddie's and Buck's relationship is because of Red. His motto, 'Just walk in' has gotten them through the toughest times since meeting. And now they are going to lose him to something he thought he had beaten. Fuck the universe. Fuck cancer.

*Hides behind offensive linemen (big ass football players that protect the quarterback)* I'm sorry?

Tagging (no pressure): @daffi-990 @spotsandsocks @hippolotamus @aroeddiediaz @giddyupbuck @rainbow-nerdss @loserdiaz @thewolvesof1998 @bekkachaos @eddiescowboy @eddiebabygirldiaz @spaceprincessem @athenagranted @evanbegins @elvensorceress @malewifediaz @911onabc @911-on-abc @hoodie-buck @ladydorian05 @bigfootsmom @watchyourbuck @thekristen999 @spagheddiediaz @rogerzsteven @honestlydarkprincess @bitchfacediaz @buck-coded @housewifebuck @glorious-spoon @buddierights @prosperdemeter2 @lemonzestywrites @gayedmundodiaz @transboybuckley

[icypantherwrites]

Thank you so so much to the person who reported my account to AO3 for commercialization and a violation of TOS because of this author's note on one of my stories:

"In this particular story, while unresolved from a criminal standpoint, Lance does at least have Keith's support and that can make a world of difference. So many do not even have that though (and especially in red states where if you tell the wrong person... living in a dystopian nightmare) so I wanted to take a moment to link you to RAINN -- the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network -- if you ever need to reach someone, if you ever need to talk, and, if you're like me, able to donate so victims can receive help and support."

Apparently the phrase "like me, able to donate" is a solicitation. It takes a sad, bitter person to go through years of my works to report such an innocuous sentence designed to help others and just as crappy for AO3 to determine that somehow that is a violation. I can't count how many charity zines I've seen advertised on AO3 or causes that creators are passionate about and want to share it with their readers, but apparently someone hates me that much. I'm used to the trolls (not used to, there's no getting used to the sheer hate and cruelty leveled at me because you don't like what I write rather than being an adult and hitting the back button) but I've accepted that. This though? This is just the reaction of some jealous, awful person that unfortunately has lasting repercussions.

I've now been suspended for 14 days. Apparently that's my sign to never try to advocate for charities again that are out there trying to help people. I hope whoever you are that felt the need to report my author's note about supporting a charity that you're happy with yourself.

Due to this, I may also be refraining from posting works going forward on AO3 because I have no idea at this point the limits people will go and what AO3 Support staff will somehow find valid. I will have to go back and scour my posts for any mention of charity zines (and heaven forbid what charity they supported) to wipe them out less I be seen soliciting for donations again.

Not that anyone is really reading my works these days, but whelp, I won't be posting for at least 2 weeks on AO3 to at minimum finish up the stories I already have there. I'll still be posting as normally scheduled on Patreon.

And while I can't do anything about AO3, if you'd like to make a positive difference I do highly encourage anyone to donate to RAINN and make some sunshine and rainbows out of this nasty storm ☀🌈.

[cerastes]

Hey how come you making flippant comments in regards to your own self-improvement fetish is so enlightening in regards to mental health things is this the whole 'professional' thing at work.

I would like to think so! When we think of "psychology", most people might have a very Freudian image of it: A therapist solemnly but very comprehensively taking notes as a patient lies on a couch and spills their guts, only interjecting once or twice in the hour-long session and then charging you. Psychoanalysis, the Freudian technique, I don't think it's useless, but it's definitely just one of a myriad of techniques and methods with which to carry out therapy (and one I myself am trained in and do not like). I myself am more of systems theory of psychology kind of guy (Humberto Maturana, Ludwig von Bertalanffy, Gregory Bateson, among others), and systems has a very input-output sort of view (if you want to learn more, you can also look up second order cybernetics and radical constructivism).

Where I am going with all of this is that if it may seem like I'm making flippant comments, then that means I've synthetized my own self-care mind palace to such a degree that it has simply become part of my discourse, my lingo, my poise, if you will, but that in itself took a lot of introspective work in a way that was tangible to me, or in other words, in a way that my brain accepted it. Ultimately, it's the role of the psychologist to lead one to something rather than to reveal any sort of secret to wellness. Using myself as an example, as someone that had suicidal depression at one point, being told to "think positively" didn't do a damn thing, because if it was that easy, then depression wouldn't exist. Instead, I more or less had to trick my own brain into giving it reasons as to why it should think positively, because it makes sense to do so, and in the same vein, I had to give it reasons as to why thinking negatively was dumb. Because that sort of logic works with me. So it's less "hey, think nice things :)" and more "okay but does it have to be like this? Does everyone else have this crushing sadness as their normal as well? I don't think so, so maybe what I'm feeling isn't normal. Why am I thinking that way? What do they have that I don't? Oh, thing A and thing B, yeah, makes sense, and do I want these things? Mmm thing A doesn't really matter to me, but thing B, I'm loathe to admit, is something I desire, how about I work towards having thing B for now as a goal and then see if that is good enough or at least improves my mental state? Are things really as hopeless as I think they are and am I enlightened by my grim outlook? Probably not, so why am I hopeless and why are they not? There's something I don't have or don't know, let's see what that is, and put these shit thoughts on hold until I can ascertain these things". This is a summarized version, of course, but you know what I mean.

But where I'm going with this (again) is that once you grab onto your own internal logic (which is where the introspective work leads to!) and know what makes you click and how your own metrics and parameters of motivation work, it becomes much much easier to have a healthy mental state and keep it healthy. This, in my opinion, should be the long term objective of any good therapy: To at least start your user (I don't really use the term "patient") on this road. I'm making it sounds all sunshine and rainbows, but introspective work worth having does entail having to look at the uglier parts of yourself and acknowledging them, hence why not a lot of people see it through. It takes commitment and guts because you very much do reach a point where you need to look at these things that are awful and be like "yes, this, too, is me" before you can start going into how to turn these into advantageous things instead.

Likewise, the therapy I do tends to have this as goal: Let's work this shit together so we can organize it in a way that's easier to handle for starters, and then you can have a very good grip on the reins of what makes you feel good and what makes you feel bad, and so can easily dispel the brain fog by simply consulting your inner blueprint. Each user is a whole different journey, and it's part of what makes psychology such a beautiful field.

[monsoon-of-art]

Donut Hole - Chapter 20

Silhouette

The fire I began is burning me alive But I know better than to leave and let it die

I'm a silhouette asking every now and then "Is it over yet? Will I ever feel again?" I'm a silhouette chasing rainbows on my own But the more I try to move on, the more I feel alone So I watch the summer stars to lead me home - Silhouette, Owl City

[(deep breath) been a while huh :') A ton of stuff has happened in my life that really hindered my writing; being moved to full time, my dad having a stroke (he's recovering with no permanent damage) and my PC breaking. But here's a new chapter!! Where Dawn gets involved, and Barry learns of some very crucial things…] [ao3 link]

Dawn chose to hide away in her home, not wanting to leave Jubilife but unable to stand hearing the curious whispers of the townfolk. She tried to keep herself busy; cleaning her space, organizing her things, checking in on her pokemon…

But nothing could keep her mind away from her friend in the medical wing for long.

She lay in bed, her pokemon lounging around the home, reflecting their trainer’s sullen demeanor. 

Her Samurott, Riptide, lay by her side and allowed her to nervously pet and pull on her whiskers.

“I wonder…what they did with his Pokemon.” She wondered aloud.

The woman who helped run the pastures was nice enough, but Dawn doubted she could care for Barry’s team. No, they were most likely with Laventon.

Barry was a good trainer. He treated his pokemon back home with love and care, verging into ‘spoiling’ territory, Dawn might dare say. Honey for his heracross, sugar cubes for his rapidash, mangoes and fruits for his Torterra.

His new team…they were strange. Scruffy, dirty, thin looking. Barry wouldn’t willingly let his team look like that. What had they been subjected to in the wilds of Hisui? With no Galaxy Team, no Laventon to find him on a beach-

Her thoughts drifted to Barry himself.

Scruffy. Dirty. Thin. Deeply upsetting. Like a childhood toy nearly torn to shreds, hanging on by bits of thread and stuffing.

Riptide let out an unhappy chitter, Dawn realizing she had been tugging on her whiskers a bit too hard for her liking. “Sorry.”

Her mind wandered elsewhere. Somewhere less sad. Somewhere angry.

Why hadn’t anyone come to her when Barry arrived? Surely someone had to have made the connection; a strange boy her age with outlandish clothes and a gift for training pokemon?

Why did they let him suffer in the cold and the damp and the dark?

If a single person had told her - not even her, if someone had told anyone in Jubilife - then Barry wouldn’t be in the medical wing. He wouldn’t be so thin and dirty and hurt.

She replayed Adaman’s words in her mind. “Because we weren’t totally sure. And I didn’t want to raise your hopes in case it wasn’t.”

And the worst part is…Adaman was right. If they had come to her with a description of Barry, and it wasn’t Barry? She’d be crushed.

Luckily for her mental state, she didn’t have to think about this for long. There was a knock at the door, followed by Rei’s voice, “Dawn? Are you in there?”

Dawn stood to get the door. She had learned not to let her pokemon answer the door anymore, not since her Kadabra answered the door for her once, and then rumors swirled around town about how she had turned into a Kadabra.

She hoped she didn’t look too disheveled when answering the door. It had been a very long day.

Either it wasn’t too obvious, or Rei decided not to comment on it.

“Uhm, the leaders left not too long ago…” he started to say, rocking back and forth on his heels. “I dunno what they said to Kamado, but it was loud. On both ends. But it seemed to have worked, I don't think the commander plans on practicing his fighting moves tonight…”

“Okay.” Replied Dawn, unable to really muster any excitement in her voice. Sure, it was nice that Kamado wasn't going to start suplexing people, but that certainly wasn't on her mind.

“Well, now that things have calmed down, uh, Miss Pesselle says you can come visit your friend. He's not doing so well right now, but she thinks he'll be alright-”

“REALLY?!” She struggled keeping her voice low. “Why didn't you start with that?! Let's go!”

--

Consciousness was proving to be rather fickle and fleeting. Barry felt himself drift in and out, like the waves on a beach. Awake, not awake. Awake, not awake. Drifting at sea, below the waves.

And being awake sucked. 

Every part of his body ached. Even parts that he didn't know could ache. He couldn't even scrounge up the willpower to open his eyes. Sounds were muffled, distant, unfamiliar.

So he would just lay there…aching. 

It wasn't all bad. He could sense the presence of someone nearby tending to him, and even if it hurt when they had to change bandages, he knew it was probably a good thing. Cups and bowls were gently pressed to his lips, and even though it tasted distinctly medicinal, he really didn’t care.

And sometimes, when the ache and the pain grew too much, he could feel a warm hand slip into his own and squeeze.

It was comforting. He wasn’t alone. Someone was there with him through it all, here to hold his hand when it hurt.

And Barry would try to smile and squeeze back before drifting, drifting, drifting…

He wasn’t sure how long he spent drifting. Hours, maybe. Days, weeks. 

Until one day, he finally opened his eyes.

Barry was in a bed he didn't recognize and a room he didn't know. Things were kinda blurry, and fuzzy, and his head hurt, but it was something.

Breaching the surface of the water for the first time in a while, it seemed.

He hesitantly squeezed the hand holding his own and glanced over to his side.

“... Barry?”

Dawn looked tired. He wondered, numbly, if she had left his side at all.

But she was here. Alive and well and not just a terrible gap in his memory. She had the same eyes, the same face, the same tired smile that she'd give him when he'd do something stupid-

“D-Dawnie.” He croaked, dry lips cracking into a beaming smile. “I did something stupid again.”

“That's OK, dummy. We can talk more about that later.” She gave his hand a squeeze. “How are you feeling?”

He groaned, trying to think of an accurate description. “Numb. Aching. Like a piece of gum left to dry on the boardwalk in Sunyshore.”

Dawn giggled, a beautiful sound that he had grown to miss so, so much. Barry couldn't help but weakly chuckle alongside her.

“Pesselle said it's a miracle you're alive. She said you had a foot in the grave, and a shovel in your hands.” She looked at him, tears welling in her eyes. “I-I was…I was so scared…w-wh…what if you didn't wake up?”

She let go of his hand, trying to wipe away the tears as she began to weep.

“Hey, hey-” he sat up slightly, ignoring the aches and pain, “It's alright! I-I’m fine now! I'm not going anywhere.” A serious look crossed his face. “No one's gonna try and stop me.”

“Th-there was drapion venom in your blood. Pesselle said i-it was a miracle you kept your leg.” She continued to whisper. “You won't be able to walk for…I dunno how long.”

“I've been walking on it for a while! It'll be fine!”

“I think that's part of the problem.”

Dawn gestured for him to lay back down, to which Barry ignored. “I couldn't stop and rest, I was on the run! It's crazy, just listen to-”

He paused. A strange look came across his face, and he grabbed Dawn's hands and held them tight. “I need you to tell me something. Something that only you would know.”

“Barry-?”

“Please. Please. Something only you would know. Please.”

Sadness overtook her features, not directed at him, thankfully, but she clearly felt bad for him, and wanted to soothe his worries.

“When you were little, you wanted to have a big birthday party with a big cake. And you invited the entire class. Your dad asked Elite 4 member Lucian, to borrow his Mr Mime for entertainment. And…uhm. When Mr Mime walked out with your birthday cake, you were so scared that you started crying, and you even-”

“NO! DAWN THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT?!”

“What did you mean then??”

“I dunno! Something deeply personal and special to us??”

“Well you didn't specify! What about the time you got your Halloween costume based on heracross and you asked me to hit you with a branch to ‘prove how strong' you were?”

“No, that's not what I meant either! I'm starting to think you're doing this on purpose! Do you need me to fine you?!”

Dawn couldn't help but laugh. When was the last time she had been threatened with fines? She couldn't remember. It felt good, familiar.

For a moment, the medical room walls melted away. They were back home, camping, just teasing each other after a long day of training.

“Do you remember the time you poured yourself a glass of vinegar at a buffet because you thought it was soda, and you nearly barfed-”

“You are! You are doing this on purpose!!” Barry shouted back. “Two can play that game, missy! Don't think I've forgotten about the time our class started singing happy birthday and you were so surprised you started crying!”

“Hey!” She squealed in fake offense. “I did not!”

“Did too!”

“OK, OK, let's stop with the yelling.” Dawn said, pressing him back against the pillows of his bed. “Not sure we want Pesselle to come yell at us-”

“No no, wait, wait, hold on-” a frightened, almost desperate tone crept into his voice. “I know it's you. There's no way. I can trust you.”

“Of course you can trust me?”

“This place is crawling with Team Galactic!” He hissed, “Absolutely swarming! They tried to stop me from finding you, I think they're the reason you're here! They kidnapped you!”

Dawn opened her mouth, but no words came out. She just let Barry continue.

“I haven't seen Cyrus yet, but I've seen Mars and new commanders and Galactic Generals, and they're hellbent on capturing me! This is a universe where Cyrus won, don't you see? There's no civilization, people and pokemon don't trust each other-!” A moment of panic overtook his features, and he frantically looked around. “My pokemon, where are my-”

Dawn grabbed his shoulders. “Barry. Barry.”

“Huh? What, what?”

She took a deep breath. “That's…not right. That's not what's going on.”

Barry also took a breath. “OK. I'm listening. Tell me what's going on, I'll believe you.”

Dawn hesitated. “It's a bit crazy…”

“The last few months have been nothing but crazy for me. Whatever you say, I promise.”

“I think…we're in the past.”

He gave her an incredulous look. “...when I said I'd believe you-”

“Barry!”

“It's just a little hard to believe!”

“Oh, but your theory of being kidnapped by an alternate dimension Cyrus is more plausible?”

Barry tried to think of a retort, but couldn't. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Touche. What's your evidence?”

“Do you remember the history class we took about the late edo period?”

“Yeah, I failed that one.”

Dawn reached into her bag currently on the floor and pulled out a pokeball. “See how it looks rough? These are carved by hand, using apricorns. Surely you remember the pokeball lesson.”

That clicked in his mind. Before the modern manufacturing of Pokeballs was established, people would carve out their own using apricorns. Some could even make special ones with unique traits, but the skill and craft was a dying art.

“I thought…I thought they were poorly made…” he said slowly, softly. Barry shook his head, “That doesn't entirely prove it. If this was a world where Cyrus won, obviously Silph Co wouldn't exist.”

Dawn then gestured to the room around them, which Barry finally began taking note of.

There were no medical devices, not really. Mostly beds, blankets, pillows, panels to give some semblance of privacy, and a sleeping croagunk in the corner.

It did look a little old fashioned, like visiting the Old Chateau, or the homes in Celestic town. The way the wood was carved, the way the paint looked…

“Look at the clothes they gave me!” She continued, taking off a red scarf to show him. “Not fake fabric at all, this is real!”

All of the little inconsistencies, all of the assumptions based on a worst-case scenario. The pain he went through. The pain he caused. It was all starting to climb up his throat.

“Dawn. I don't feel so good.”

“What? Why? Should I go get the doctor? Her name is Pesselle, she's really nice-”

He grabbed her arm as she stood to leave. “I think…I did a lot more stupid stuff than I realized…”

Dawn had an inkling that his time in Hisui was less than pleasant. But the sheepish anxiety in his voice worried her.

“What…did you do?”

The door behind them creaked open. Dawn turned, relieved to see Pesselle carrying fresh bandages. “Ah, good! The two of you are awake. The captain wanted to see him.”

The relief quickly faded when Pesselle stepped to the side and Captain Cyllene entered the room.

And Barry started to scream.

[loslentesdepedrito]

I'm Your Wife- Chapter Four

Top right gif by: @pedrohub, bottom left gif by: @pedroispunk

Pairing: Jack Daniels ‘Agent Whiskey’x Spanish-speaking f!reader and Javier Peña x Spanish-speaking f!reader (Spanish translations are provided.)

Previous Chapter: I'm Your Wife- Chapter Three

Next Chapter: I'm Your Wife- Chapter Five

Word count: 5.0k+

A/N: This time of year is always hard on me, and I don't know why I didn't factor that into my uploading schedule. I decided to cut the chapters short to prolong the series, so there are still a few chapters left. Thank you to everyone for their patience, and I hope you enjoy this part!

Chapter summary: Javi confronts Jack, and in the aftermath, Jack bonds with Ángel. (Picks up directly from ch. 3)

Rating: 18+ no explicit content but this is an 18+ page. Warning contains spoilers, but please read if you'd like!!! They are below the cut, but if you don't want to read them, the story starts after the Whiskey bottles.

Warnings: Angst (less than the last few chapters), language used by the characters is harsh and contains strong emotions, pregnancy, divorce, and childhood disease.

“Oh, I didn’t know you remarried. Again. Because surely you’re not talking about my girl.” Javi said with his jaw clenched. “She’s not your wife anymore, Jack. She’s my wife.”

"Well, I thought 'the mother of my son who I was married to and is the love of my life' was too long to say. Because I was married to her, bud," Jack countered. His voice, while tinted with pride, carried an undercurrent of sadness. It was as though he was grasping for a sliver of the life he had lost.

But Javi wasn't about to let Jack's words undermine his place in your life and Ángel's. He interjected forcefully, his frustration evident in every word. "Mira, Cabron," (Look, asshole,) he told Jack, "Keyword, was. You were married to her. Not anymore. She's my wife. She's the love of my life, and I am the love of her life. She's the mother of my children. I was there for the OB appointments. I was there for Ángel's birth. I was there for everything. Ángel is also my son, and I get that you want to be there for him now.” Javier uses his hands to point at himself every time he emphasizes a word. “But remember that you wanted nothing to do with him. You told her you wanted her to get rid of him! Forgive me if I don't fully believe you're as committed to being in Ángel's life as you say you are. I won't let you hurt her again, and I certainly won't let you hurt my son."

Jack's face contorted with a mix of frustration and desperation as he struggled to regain ground. "You might have been there for all that, but I've changed. I want to be here now, for Ángel and for her." 

Javier's gaze remained unwavering, his jaw clenched in determination. "Changed? Jack, do you even realize how much pain you caused her?" His voice dripped with reproach. "You left her alone when she needed you the most,” Javier puts one hand on his hip and uses the other to motion, “and now you waltz back in here, thinking you can just pick up where you left off. It doesn't work like that." 

Jack's fists clenched, his temper flaring. "I know I messed up. I can't change the past, but I can try to make it right now."

Javier takes a step closer and shoves a finger into Jack’s chest, his tone ice-cold. "Make it right? You can't erase the years you missed, the tears she shed, or the heartache you caused. And you sure as hell can't take my place now."

Javier's voice grew firmer, more assertive, as he continued, "You can't pretend like everything is all sunshine and rainbows. You need to start looking at me like Ángel's father and her husband."

“He’s my son!” Jack bursts. “I'm not letting you replace me in his life.” 

Javier didn't back down. Instead, he leaned even closer, their faces mere inches apart. "I'm not replacing you, Jack. I'm the one who's been here for him all along, loving him and caring for him when you were nowhere to be found. And I'll be damned if I let you come back into their lives and disrupt what we've built."

“A father doesn’t abandon their child before they’re even born. In all those years, you never looked for him,” Javi's voice carried deep disappointment, the kind that had festered over time.

Even though it was difficult, Javier tried to let go of his anger. “I get you want to be his dad now, but that’s going to take time. I’m not saying you’ll never be his dad, but I will always be his dad, Jack. I know we don’t have the same blood, but he’s my son. You need to learn and accept that. Maybe he’ll call us both dad one day, but stop interjecting yourself into her life. What you two had is over. You can’t be the family you want anymore.”

Deep down, Javier knew that Jack was also his son’s father, and he wasn't willing to waste more time arguing that point. However, he needed to clarify to Jack that he couldn't just play house with you. Javier told Jack he wasn’t Ángel's father primarily out of anger. He knew he shouldn’t let his emotions get the best of him, but seeing Jack pretend to be the one you were building a family with, as if he hadn't abandoned you, was infuriating beyond words. Both of you had agreed that if Jack wanted to be in Ángel's life, he could. It just hurt Javier deeply to share his son, especially when it could result in Ángel being hurt by Jack. But if Jack was honest about his intentions, this could result in Ángel being loved by more than two parents, and Javier wasn't willing to steal that from his son.

Jack took in Javier’s words and instead of understanding why he was so protective, his temper flared in the face of Javier's unyielding stance. He couldn't deny the truth in Javier's words, and that only stoked the burning frustration within him. "You've got it all figured out, don't ya?" Jack's voice was overtaken with resentment as he spoke. "You waltz in here, take my place like it's no big deal, and now you're the king of this castle?"

Javier's eyes bore into Jack's, an unspoken determination in his gaze. "I didn't waltz in, Jack. I walked in when you walked out. I filled a void you left behind. I didn't choose to be the king; I just chose to stand by her side when you chose not to."

Jack felt like a caged animal, his anger mixing with a bitter sense of regret. "I messed up, alright? But I'm back now. You think you can just replace me?"

Javier's voice remained steady, though his anger simmered again just beneath the surface. "I'm not trying to replace you, Jack. I'm trying to protect them from being hurt by you again. It's not just about you anymore; it's about them."

Jack's fists clenched as he fought to regain some semblance of control. "I love her, and I love Ángel. I want to make things right."

"Desgraciado," (shameless) Javier muttered under his breath, choosing to ignore Jack's blatant profession of love for his wife. "Love is more than just words, Jack. It's actions. It's being there when you're needed, not just when it's convenient for you. It's about accepting that you hurt them deeply and that they might need time to heal. Ángel doesn’t know about you, but what do you think he’ll think once he finds out the truth? No kid wants to hear that his dad didn’t want anything to do with them."

Jack struggled with his emotions, the weight of his past mistakes heavy on his shoulders. "I- I know I can't erase the past, but I'll do whatever it takes to build a future with them."

Javier took a step back, his face still stern but less confrontational. "Then prove it, Jack. Actions speak louder than words. Show them you've changed, not just with what you say, but with what you do."

Jack's shoulders slumped, and he looked down momentarily, grappling with his emotions. It was a difficult pill to swallow, facing the consequences of his past actions. "You're right, Javier. I can't change what I've done, and I can't expect things to go back to the way they were." He admitted, "I know I've hurt both of them deeply, especially her. I'll respect your place in their lives, but I want a chance to be there for Ángel too."

Javier nodded, his expression softening a fraction. "I'm not saying you can't be a part of Ángel's life, Jack. But it has to be on their terms, at their pace. And it has to be with the understanding that we're a family now."

Jack swallowed hard, finally starting to accept the reality of the situation. "I get it. I won't push. I just want a chance to prove that I can be a better father to Ángel." He didn't say anything about your family not including him; he wanted to, but he knew it would be futile.

Javier extended a hand towards Jack. "Then we have an understanding. It won't be easy, but if you're serious about making amends and being there for him, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt."

Jack stared at your husband’s hand for a while before he shook Javier's hand firmly. 

The two men made their way back to room 43 in uneasy silence, their faces carefully composed as if they hadn’t almost ripped each other apart not even ten minutes ago. 

When they walk through the door, you immediately sense that something happened. You knew your husband too well and felt he had little interest in helping Jack, so you had been concerned when Javi insisted on helping Jack with the towels.

Javier gracefully moves to you, kisses the top of your head, and then sits next to you. His hand finds its place on your stomach, a subtle yet affectionate touch. Jack, however, lingers awkwardly, towels in hand, as he takes in the scene before him. Seeing Javier so close to you stirred a storm of emotions within him, and it took a moment for his jumbled thoughts to come together. When he finally came to, he stored the towels in the maple wardrobe, and he retook his seat beside Ángel. To an outsider, it might have seemed as though nothing unusual had occurred, but the atmosphere remained charged with unspoken words and unresolved feelings. You didn't get a chance to express your gratitude to Jack before he gently resumed his conversation with your son. 

They were chatting about Jack’s ranch and Ángel was practically creating an itinerary for the visit. 

"Mr. Jack, do you have horses on your ranch?" Ángel asked, his eyes shining with curiosity. His innocence was a welcomed breather from the tension in the room moments ago.

Jack, who had been caught slightly off guard by the sudden question, managed a warm smile. "Yes, we do, buddy. We've got some of the finest horses you'll ever see."

To prove his point and perhaps bond with his son over their shared love for horses, Jack reaches into his pants pocket. As his fingers curled around an object, your heartbeat raced. It was unmistakable – the small, black phone, a Motorola in all its glory. For a split second, a flood of emotions surged within you. Why did he still have it? Your mind wrestles with the significance of this unexpected memory he kept, but you quickly push the thoughts aside.

Ángel, his curiosity piqued by the sight of the odd phone, couldn't help but voice his surprise, his brows arching in unbelief. "Uh… Is that your phone?" He stares as he takes in the object he’s never seen before. The phone’s body was primarily matte black, with a reflective silver border and a letter ‘M’ in the middle.

Jack noticed Ángel's expression and furrowed his brows in concern, his lips beneath his mustache forming a subtle pout. "Something wrong?" He asked, worried that he might have inadvertently upset him.

Ángel, quick to reassure Jack, shook his head. "No," he replied, his head moving somewhat furiously, "It's just that I've never seen a phone like that before."

With a fond smile, Jack replied, his voice tinged with a hint of nostalgia. "This, buddy," he began, holding up the phone, "is a Motorola Razr V3. It's not like the fancy ones you see nowadays." He opened the phone with a satisfying snap, showing off the small screen and metallic keypad. As he continued, Jack's eyes seemed to shimmer with memories of a different time. "Back in the day, this phone was all the rage.” He chuckled softly, clearly enjoying the chance to share a piece of his past with Ángel. 

“Cool!” Ángel exclaimed. 

"Very.” Jack agreed. “It might not have all the apps modern phones do, but it sure serves me well. Look, I even have pictures of the horses here.” He tapped a button on his old phone, and his fingers were a bit too big but he had years of practice to not accidentally click other things.  He opens the camera roll. The phone, although dated, was still functional. He scrolled up until he found the best photos and moved the phone closer to Ángel. As he scrolled through the photos, he couldn't help but notice Ángel leaning in closer, his eyes glued to the small screen. Jack knew these images might appear grainy and outdated to a young boy, but the fact that Ángel showed genuine interest warmed his heart.

Jack carefully selected a handful of the best photos, ones that showcased the beauty and spirit of the horses. He moved the phone closer to Ángel, allowing the boy to take the pictures at his own pace.

In the first picture, Jack shared an image of a dusty gray pony, its gentle eyes looking out from a stable stall, bathed in warm sunlight that filtered through the wooden slats. "This one is Bubbles. He’s a Shetland pony." Jack explained with a fond smile.

"Wow, he looks so soft." Ángel remarked, his eyes glued to the picture.

Jack nodded. "Oh, he's the softest. Loves being petted and brushed."

In the next photo, a golden chestnut horse galloped freely across a lush, green pasture, its mane billowing with the wind. Jack's voice was filled with quiet excitement as he narrated the picture. "And here's Bullseye, she's got a lot of energy, and loves to run around. She’s an Akhal-Teke, and the speed demon of the bunch."

Ángel laughed at the thought of a speedy mare and the sound warmed Jack's heart.

But as soon as Jack swiped to the third picture, it elicited a gasp of awe from Ángel. In that image, a striking black Andalusian horse stood tall against a backdrop of hills. Its glossy coat seemed to absorb the sunlight, giving the horse a beautiful shine. Ángel's brown eyes widened as he took in the creature, captivated by its beauty and strength.

Jack couldn't help but smile at Ángel's reaction. "That's Andor," he said, his voice holding a hint of pride. "He's the most majestic horse on the ranch, the true definition of a stallion. We'll make sure you get to meet all of them when you visit."

Ángel's excitement bubbled over as he delved into his vision for their ranch visit. He continued to rattle off a list of activities, his imagination running wild with possibilities. "Maybe we can play with the horses, Mr. Jack! And feed them apples! Wait, do they actually eat apples? And... and,” His voice trailed off briefly as if a lightbulb went off in his head. “Oh my God! How many horses do you have?" Ángel's eyes sparkled with excitement, his curiosity genuine.

"Lots of horses. More than these three,” He shook his phone. “Big ones, small ones, all sorts of them. Would you like to ride one?"

Ángel's eyes widened, and he practically bounced in his hospital bed. "Can I, Daddy? Mommy? Please!"

Javier chuckled at Ángel's excitement and nodded in agreement. "Of course, Ángel. I'm sure Jack can teach you how to ride safely."

“Can I ride Andor?” Ángel asked, his excitement apparent.

Jack paused for a moment, considering. He knew Andor was a spirited horse and perhaps not the best choice for Ángel's first ride. "It'll take a while to ride that one. How about we start with Bubbles?" Jack suggested, his voice gentle and reassuring.

Ángel thought it over, a slight frown forming as he passed his tongue over his cheek. His brows furrowed in contemplation, and then a cute, hopeful, and bright smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "Can I ride Andor eventually?"

At this moment, Jack knew there was little his son could ask for that he wouldn’t immediately hand over. However, he understood it wasn't his place to make decisions about Ángel's life. After a brief moment of hesitation, he replied, “Eventually. If your… parents agree.” It stung to refer to Javi as his son’s parent, but a big part of him reminded him that he had brought this on himself.

You chimed in with a warm smile. "We'll discuss it when the time comes, Ángel. If it's something you really want to do, and it's safe, we'll certainly consider it."

His eyes dimmed slightly in momentary disappointment. But the resilient spark in his eyes quickly returned as he nodded and said, "Muy bien.” (very well)

Jack, sensing Ángel's momentary letdown, decided to distract him. "Speaking of horses," he began, "would you like to hear a funny story about another one?"

Ángel's curiosity was instantly piqued, and he nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, please!"

With a twinkle in his eye, Jack leaned in closer. "Now, Ángel, let me tell you about Randy, the sneakiest horse you'll ever meet. One sunny morning, just like today, Randy decided he was tired of the usual hay and grains. He had his eye on something sweeter."

Wide-eyed and intrigued, Ángel leaned closer. "What did he want, Mr. Jack?"

"Apples, my boy! The juiciest, crunchiest apples you could imagine. So while having his roaming time, he jumped a fence that was under construction and onto the Apple orchard."

Giggles escaped Ángel's lips. "He snuck into the orchard?"

Jack nodded, his eyes twinkling. "Oh, he sure did. And there he was, surrounded by my apple trees loaded with ripe, red apples. I woulda been fine if Randy ate a few, but he was a bit of a greedy horse."

Ángel's eyes widened with anticipation. "What did he do?"

Chuckling softly, Jack continued, "Well, instead of just taking one apple, like any sensible horse would, Randy went from tree to tree, until he'd eaten all but two apples!"

Your son’s laughter filled the room. "Almost all of them?"

Jack nodded, his voice filled with mirth. "Almost! And when the ranch hands found him, only one tree had two apples left. In his defense though, there weren’t many apples on the trees. Everyone had a good laugh once the vet was called.” 

Clapping his hands with delight, Ángel exclaimed, "That's a funny story, Mr. Jack!"

Smiling from ear to ear, Jack replied, "It sure is, Ángel. And when you visit, you can meet Randy. He's much better behaved now. "

“I’m glad Randy didn’t get sick.” Ángel said with a thoughtful look. Before Jack could respond, a shadow of sadness crossed Ángel's face, and he shifted the topic, his voice growing quieter. "Did you know horses don't throw up?" He asked Jack, his brown eyes focused intently. "I wish I were part horse; then, my food and medicine wouldn't make me throw up."

Everyone was silent for a while not knowing what to say. Your heart ached for your son, and you wanted to say something that would bring him comfort—racking your brain thinking how to do so. You get up from your seat and gently reach out, placing your hand on Ángel's. "Sweetie," you began softly, "I know it's tough, and we're so proud of how strong you are. Being part horse might sound fun, but you're our incredible, amazing boy just the way you are. And you know what? Horses can't have all the fun things you have. They can't watch your favorite movies or they can’t have dairy so no ice cream." You managed a smile, hoping to reassure him.

Javier chimed in, his voice full of love and support. "That's right, mi niño (my boy). We love you just the way you are. I promise you we’re doing everything we can so you won’t be here for much longer."

"Ángel," he began, leaning in closer to the young boy, "I want you to know something really, really important." Jack's voice carried a warmth and sincerity that was impossible to miss. "You are an incredibly special kid. You've shown so much strength, more than most people could ever imagine." His eyes locked onto Ángel's, filled with admiration.

Jack's smile was encouraging, like a reassuring hand on Ángel's shoulder. "You're brave, Ángel. So, so brave. And I'm not just sayin’ that. I mean it from the bottom of my heart. You've been through a lot, but you keep going, and that's something truly amazing."

With a gentle and affectionate pat on Ángel's hand, Jack continued, "Hang on, okay? We’ll get you outta this hospital as soon as we can. And then, we're gonna have so much fun together at the movies, ranch, and anything you want." Jack's words were filled with genuine enthusiasm, meant to uplift Ángel's spirits.

Ángel's eyes brightened at the sincerity in Jack's words. He absorbed the praise like a sponge, his tiny chest puffing out with pride. His eyes moved from one loving face to another, absorbing their words like a lifeline. Though still tinged with sadness, his voice held a touch of hope as he replied, "Los amo mami y papi." (I love you, Mommy and Daddy) 

A shy but radiant smile spread across his face as he looked up at Jack. "Thank you," he said softly, his voice filled with gratitude. "I'll be brave, just like you said, Mr. Jack." 

Jack patted Ángel's head affectionately. "No need to thank me, buddy."

Tears of love and pride welled up in your eyes as you leaned in to kiss his forehead. "We love you too, papito (baby), more than anything in the world."

A soft knock resonated throughout the room, and Javier called out for the person to come in.

The door swung open, and Ruth, Ángel's morning nurse, entered with her scrubs adorned with colorful teddy bears.

"Good mornin’,” She greeted with a kind smile. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything important."

Ángel, his eyes still shining with the love and reassurance from his parents and Jack offered a small but genuine smile to the Nurse. "No, it's okay," he replied softly. "We were just talking."

"Great! Then are you okay with me taking you downstairs for some tests?" she said gently. Then, she turned to you and Javier, asking, "Mom, Dad, is now a good time? Y’all are welcome to come with."

"Yes, now is fine," you agreed, your voice laced with gratitude. "We'll come along with him. Thank you for letting us be there."

Javier echoed your sentiments, "Absolutely, we want to be with him."

Jack stepped away from Ángel’s bed when he saw the nurse had a wheelchair with her. 

Nurse Ruth smiled kindly at your willingness to accompany Ángel and your words of gratitude. "Of course, it's important for families to be together during these times. I'll make sure Ángel's as comfortable as possible during the tests. Let's get everything set up, shall we?"

"Alright, Ángel," Nurse Ruth said gently, "I'll just adjust your IV pole here so it can move along with you." She carefully disconnected his IV from its stand and secured the IV pole to the wheelchair, making sure it was stable and within easy reach. 

As she prepared Ángel for the wheelchair, you leaned over and smoothed out his hospital gown to ensure it was comfortable and wouldn't catch on anything.

Javier took charge of folding up Ángel's favorite blanket, his movements gentle and precise. He placed it neatly over the backrest of the wheelchair, creating a cushioned spot for his son to sit on. 

Ángel carefully positioned his hospital-clad feet on the chair's pedals, making sure the baby blue sock with grips was securely in place.

It was all a practiced routine that was mastered a few days after Ángel’s admission.

The Nurse smiled at the collaborative effort. "You're a great team." she complimented before gently moving the wheelchair toward the door.

You noticed Jack standing at the side awkwardly, and you could see how intently he stared at your son- as if he was memorizing every move he made. Sensing his desire for a proper goodbye, you decided to give them a moment. 

"Nurse Ruth, if it's alright, could we have a few moments to say goodbye to our guest? We'll catch up with you in just a bit."

She nodded understandingly and stepped out into the hallway, leaving you, Javier, Ángel, and Jack together in the room.

You turned to your son and asked, "Ángel, how do you feel about Jack coming back to see you?"

Ángel, a mix of emotions dancing in his young eyes, replied, "He's nice, mami (mommy). I like him." He then turned his gaze to Jack and smiled warmly. "I hope you come back soon."

Jack, his heart heavy with the knowledge that he would have to leave his son behind, crouched down to Ángel's eye level. He spoke gently, his voice filled with both longing and love. "I hope so too, buddy. I'll be thinking about you all the time."

Ángel, not fully grasping the complexities of the situation but feeling the genuine care in Jack's words, extended his small hand toward him. "See you soon, Mr. Jack."

Jack took Ángel's tiny hand in his, fighting back the tears that threatened to surface. "See you soon, Ángel. Take care, alright?"

As Jack reluctantly released Ángel's hand, his eyes held a mixture of pain and hope. He knew he had to leave for now, but he also knew he would see him again.

You watched as Javier and Ángel made their way out of the room to Nurse Ruth. Javier recognized the look in your eyes and understood that you wanted to speak with Jack privately. He leaned down and kissed your cheek, whispering, "We'll see you soon."

You returned the kiss and nodded. Once they were out of sight, Jack turned to you. 

“Can I have your phone number?" he asked quietly, his voice tinged with vulnerability. "I don't want to keep talking through Raul." Jack had grown tired of the impersonal nature of communicating through your lawyer; it felt like a barrier between him, you, and his son, and he hated it.

You understood the sentiment behind his request, and despite the complexities of your history, you could sense his genuine desire to be more present in Ángel's life. 

“Give me your phone.” You extended your hand, prompting him to quickly hand over his Motorola. As you took the phone, you forgot that you’d seen it earlier and once again the memories of your past life together briefly flickered through your mind. 

“Your phone… it’s still-“

Jack interrupted, “The same. Yeah. And it’s my same number, so…”

“Oh,” you said in a flat tone, not letting your emotions show too much. “Uh… at least it still works,” you said, almost ignoring the fact that he didn’t change his phone number after the divorce, unlike you. “When you were showing it off to Ángel, I thought it was going to fall apart.” You laughed, and everything in that moment made Jack’s heart race. 

Jack joined in the laughter. "It's a tough old thing, but it's been with me through a lot," he admitted, his gaze briefly distant as if he was reminiscing. But he didn’t reveal the reason why he kept his phone after so many years.

“So you’ve got ranch money now?” You asked, attempting to steer the conversation away from the emotional minefield that lay between you two.

“Yeah, I got promoted,” he replied.

“Ah,” you nodded in understanding, masking the mixed emotions swirling within you. “That’s… that’s good.”

Jack wanted to stay in that moment with you, but you, on the other hand, felt like you couldn’t be there any longer. But before you left, you wanted to give him something.

You opened your small purse and pulled out a picture. It was a snapshot of Ángel when he was four years old. The image captured a family trip on a snowy day, and Ángel was bundled up in a fluffy red jacket with the cutest red and blue knitted hat.

Jack noticed the picture in your hand, and he couldn't tear his eyes off it. You handed him the small Polaroid and said, “Keep it. I have more at my house.”

My house. Echoed through Jack’s mind. Not our house. It was a stark reminder that the life he once shared with you and Ángel had irrevocably changed.

He raised his head to look at you, his face mirroring the same expression Ángel had given multiple times – brows furrowed, lips turned down in a mixture of confusion and sadness.

"Thank you." Jack finally replied, his voice on the verge of cracking. 

You nodded in acknowledgment and said, “I’ll call you if anything happens.”

“If… if I’m not a match, we’ll figure something out, I prom-” Jack stammered. He realized you probably wouldn’t believe his promises, so he chose his words carefully. “I know so.”

“Thanks,” you replied, your tone tinged with a mixture of gratitude and uncertainty.

Then, Jack's expression shifted to one of concern. “Oh, wait, his insurance, do you and…” He hesitated before mentioning your husband's name as if it left a bitter taste in his mouth. “J-Javier have to pay for anything?”

“No. His insurance covers everything, thankfully.” You reassured him, relieved that, at least in this difficult situation, financial concerns weren't adding to the burden.

Jack, visibly relieved to hear that financial worries wouldn't add to the stress, spoke up, his voice carrying a sense of sincerity. "I'd be more than happy to cover any of his expenses now and in the future."

You offered a small, appreciative smile. "Thank you, Jack. We'll talk about it later, alright? Right now, I have to go catch up with them. Take care. I’ll see you soon.”

With that, you turned and headed for the door, leaving Jack to his thoughts, the Polaroid picture of a young Ángel clutched tightly in his hand. A heavy ache settled in his chest, a feeling of pain that was almost unbearable. It felt like a part of him had stayed with you and Ángel, and he couldn't shake the sense of loss that washed over him.

Time seemed to blur as he stood there. Eventually, he snapped back to reality and pulled his phone out. With trembling fingers, he dialed a familiar number as he made his way out of the hospital.

Extended note: Thank you for reading! Please feel free to comment and reblog! I truly do love reading them! I promise I'll try to engage more!

Taglist: @kchavez666 @ttupelohoneyy @mishasminion360 @ilovetaquitosmmmm @stileslvr

If you're feeling angsty, maybe you'd like to read a heartbreaking story featuring Joel Miller- Que Vuelva (Hoy me muero yo).

[sannyo-appreciation-posts]

what are, in your opinion, the best ships involving Sannyo? I'm easily influenced by canon so I'd say mamizou is pretty good. i saw what you said about seiga and while it's true i hate seiga with a passion

[All art used is sited with the reliant link at the bottom]

Truth be told, I'm not much of a shipper personally, but I have a lot of fun seeing it from different people and thinking about where it comes from.

But this will be fun. So fun, that im going to take this thought way further than i need to. Hopefully I'll have a good number of ships by the time I'm done over analyzing this.

(I actually mentioned that about Seiga because its the only time I've ever seen that ship before, let alone seen any art for it, and was thinking up how it happened, it was cute art after all)

There's actually a much more common ship with a similar character chemistry pairing Sannyo with Yachie,

but this ship makes a bit more sense because not only is Sannyo a dragon fangirl, Yachie even looks a lot like her pipe. In fact, if you used her tail with its length in Touhou 19 you could probably even stretch Yachie into its exact shape, plus a bonus shell.

(A pretty fun mental picture)

Anyway, the over analysis starts here

______________________

Obligatory Disclaimer:

[Any Readers keep in mind, that even though I said you can think these up using canonical sources as a basis, that does not mean I'm claiming any of them are canonical relationships beyond possible friendships. There are also plenty of other ships that are possible with characters shes not likely to interact with that have just as much potential for cute dynamics]

Ships that can be thought up from the canonical sources.:

Well, first I'll do the ones from Lotus Eaters.

The easiest one to pick is definitely Mamizou. The entirety of Lotus Eaters Chapter 30 was more or less them having a fun and cheeky back and forth.

There is also Miyoi if you want to think of it that way since they are business partners and it's cute seeing her get both encouraged and picked on by Sannyo.

If you want to really be funny, and really stretch the imagination, you can joke about the Ponytailed Yamawaro with the surprising amount of screen time, since Sannyo helped her cool off when she was yelling, and more or less helped her when she was crying.

I mean look at that sad face

Those are the ones from Lotus Eaters.

Now Unconnected Marketeers gives us a few more things to build off of,

Sannyo has a funny back and forth with Sanae, and they both knew about each other before the incident, so that could be interesting.

(Though people can understandably find interactions with any protagonist to build off of if they see it that way)

The next one is since Sannyo lives at Heavens Shelf right beside rainbow dragon cave, Sannyo therefore lives very close by the dragon eater Momoyo too, which is definitely funny.

A surprisingly popular one is Sannyo with Misumaru, this one makes more sense then you might initially think, it comes from Sannyo's dialog implying she's been asked to keep humans out of rainbow dragon cave by someone. That person could only have been Misumaru. Idk how she'd have met her though. One particular artist really loves this ship

Misumaru doesn't technically live in the dragon cave but she definitely uses it sometimes and they both have some mentor energy going for them. My impression of Misumaru just from in game is she has some really proud but also no nonsense aspects to her personality. So it might be fun to see how she could interact with Sannyo.

For the same reason of being nearby, people could potentially ship her with Takane. She lives nearby the Yamawaro and they are both business ladies after all. I think the reason I haven't seen that one is Takane is a bit more hard professional and might not have as good of a back and forth with Sannyo. Especially when Takane has the far more obvious option of Nitori.

She lives nearby the Tengu too, so if someone decided that was enough to go on then they could ship her with any Tengu.

She even says "it's no wonder That Tengu has a high opinion of you" to Sanae.

[We can assume "That Tengu" is Megumu but people can definitely interpret that as someone else if they want. I think ive seen someone assume she was talking about Aya back during the Demo even]

Making it possible to have an argument for Megumu, Aya, Hatate, maybe even Momiji. But given Sannyo's : "you don't need to know about that......., actually i don't know either" flavor interactions with protagonists, it might be hilarious to see her interact with the Tengu.

Unfortunately there is no Sannyo x All Tengu picture to use so have the Megumu laugh Scene from Lotus Eaters:

Thats it for the ships you could extrapolate from UM interactions.

The last ship based on canon sources is Nemuno, they are different versions of the same Yokai species, Nemuno being a Yamanba, and Sannyo being a Yamajorou, a more outgoing version of the species. They both live in the mountains so it's possible for Sannyo to give her a visit if she wants, but Nemuno probably wouldn't travel too far personally.

In conclusion:

_________________________________

Finally I'll actually list my favorites:

My favorite ship though is easily with Mamizou. Mamizou and Sannyo had some really fun interactions.

Despite generally not often thinking about Misumaru, I've seen so much cute art of this ship on Pixiv that it makes me kinda like it. They do have compatible personalities so I can't say it's unreasonable.

I feel like she could have potential with Megumu. A Daitengu might be above Sannyo's metaphorical pay grade, but it could be fun. And they apparently are on speaking terms. Plus, you can read Megumu Iizunamaru as Dragon, and thats fun.

[But that's a tough sell, Megumu already is pretty cute with Chimata, has Tsukasa Mythology, and that great running dragon joke with Momoyo]

I think the mental picture of stretching Yachie out into a pipe shape might have sold me on that ship just now too.

So anyway, that's what I came up with for favorites.

Sannyo x Yachie art by: stank

Nemuno fish art by :0-DEN

Nemuno soy sauce by: atoki

Mamizou x Sannyo art by Biyon

[will80sbyers]

I don't know. I feel like you lost your hope that byler will be endgame in season 5? I feel like you lost your natural joy in general. I can feel that in the way you write your tells. You seem less dynamic,less happy to be here. It's not a criticism at all, just something I've personally noticed so I wondered if you are doing okay rn.

I'm sorry that I've not been as joyful :(

I'm still sick and don't have much energy these days so it could be part of that too, but yeah I'm not as confident in byler as I was after all of these news, the revelations about the play made me lose hope in a good storyline in general because if they don't care even about the supernatural story why would they make a good story for the characters and not one that can "shock" the audiences and that's it

Do they really care about the details of the story if they change big things this easily just for convenience? Was all the foreshadowing we found just a coincidence or are we misreading things? Maybe they think putting it only because Will is in love with Mike is a good idea even if they don't plan on making them endgame?

Maybe the rainbows were all because of this rainbow operation ship thing of the play and not much about the gay coding? I don't even know anymore.

Do they even care about the themes they presented previously after seeing that they don't even stand up for the innocent Palestinians and don't recognize a state that's acting as an oppressor in the real world? That's also what I'm asking myself about them as a team of writers and as people

I know they don't have to say things but they did for other occasions... that whole speech David made was just a spectacle and not the principles of the people involved in the show?

I loved this show because it seemed like they wanted to convey a message that they aren't upholding outside of it now so why would they uphold it in the finale of the show

and in general outside of stranger things the situation around the world is fucked up and I've been sad for that too, watching the graphic videos I've seen this month impacted me, watching people I care about not care at all also impacted my view of them and it feels lonely irl like I don't have friends because we are too different in basic values, and I was already depressed for other things in my life outside of all of this going back to Italy to my old life was depressing, having to live with my parents again makes me in a bad mood every single day because of how they talk to me

Also the whole fandom seems dead anyway, people have decided to leave stranger things because of what the actors and Ross did (which is completely valid) so there isn't even much to interact with in my dash at least

I'm sorry that I can't find a way to be more happy but it's just not a good period at all for me... I hope to find back my passion for the show and the fandom when they start filming, I'm just really afraid that my favourite character will be mistreated again in the end and I'm not sure about what they think will be a good "happy" ending at the moment

In general I think that even starting from a place where I didn't expect too much from them I may have highly overestimated their writing and maybe the redditors are right and stranger things will end up being that type of shitty (imo) story "the 80s nostalgia straight show" that they want

[liaromancewriter]

What Could Have Been (6/?)

Series Premise: When Ethan breaks his promise, Cassie is forced to accept they’re not inevitable after all.

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Cassie Valentine) Rating/Category: Teen. Angst Words: 1,660

Series Masterlist

Chapter 6: Sunshine and Rainbows. A new romance leads to a surprising admission and food for thought.

A/N: Submission for @choicesmonthlychallenge - using January challenge prompt "dating". I'm also using one of the flirty pick-up prompts @creativepromptsforwriting. Tagging for reblog to @creativepromptfills

Cassie Valentine had forgotten what it was like to primp for a date and try out sexy outfits designed to drive a man crazy. And feel the butterflies flutter in her stomach when she really liked a guy.

She tried to remember the last time she’d been on a date. Flipping a mental calendar, she paused in surprise that it was with Nate Hanson six months ago. And now they’d come full circle.

Despite their physical intimacy, she and Ethan Ramsey had never gone on a date. And she was a woman who loved romance. So why had she settled for less?

Because being with him in whatever way she could, had filled her heart in so many other ways.

Studying her reflection in the mirror, Cassie nodded in satisfaction. Dark jeans, a black blouse that shimmered in the light, a dark red leather jacket and subtle jewelry completed the look.

She was grateful Nate had texted to say the dress code was casual. After today’s harrowing events, she wasn’t in the mood for fancy. Luckily nothing was broken or torn, and the swelling in her shoulder would die down in a few days as long as she didn’t overdo it.

Cassie absently wondered what it would be like to go on an actual date with Ethan, not just a stolen coffee catch-up at Derry’s or wine and takeout in his apartment.

In her mind, she saw a candlelit table tucked away in the corner. Ethan in a beautiful suit, her in a gorgeous dress that would make his eyes darken with desire. He would have to behave in public, but the dress never stood a chance once the door to his apartment closed behind them.

And imagining what couldn’t be was not helping her get in the mood for her very real date with a lovely man who deserved better.

When the knock came on her door, Cassie shook off the memories and reached for the sling, carefully adjusting it around her strained left shoulder before cradling her elbow.

With a final look in the mirror, she blinked away the lingering sadness and left the past behind.

“You know, when you said we’re going out for pizza, I wasn’t expecting to be whisked off to Brooklyn in a helicopter,” Cassie said a few hours later.

She hummed in pleasure as the hot, gooey cheese burnt the top of her mouth and the mouth-watering flavors exploded on her tongue.

“Best pizza in the city,” Nate grinned, carefully biting into his slice. “And I was trying to impress you even if private jets and helicopters are par the course for a Valentine.”

“It worked,” Cassie teased, lifting her glass of Chianti in a mock salute. “This pie was definitely worth the trip.”

“I make it a point to visit Lucali whenever I’m in town,” he said.

The atmosphere in the pizzeria, with the aroma of garlic and Italian spices in the air, was homey and casual. Packed with locals and tourists alike, the restaurant was loud and noisy, perfect for her mood.

“How’d you hear about this place?” Cassie asked, curious. She knew Nate lived and worked in Bethesda.

“I was visiting VCs in the area, trying to secure funding for my start-up. This was back in med school,” he told her.

“I’d already decided residency wasn’t for me and opted out of the match process. Needless to say, I was financially desperate and emotionally invested in getting the company off the ground.”

He polished off his slice before continuing the story. “Anyway, after a couple of rough meetings where I was basically laughed out of the room, I walked around the neighborhood and stumbled upon this place. I hadn’t eaten all day and practically inhaled a whole pie.”

“And you loved it so much it became your favorite?” Cassie prompted when he paused, lost in thought.

He laughed. “Not quite. I was sitting in the corner, wondering if I’d just thrown my career away on a whim, when one of the top VCs in biotech dropped in for dinner. Apparently, he’s a regular here.”

As he narrated the tale, Cassie watched Nate’s face become animated with a hint of self-deprecation she found charming and refreshing. He wasn’t afraid to share parts of himself with her.

Ethan always held himself back from everyone, only letting his guard down when she backed him into a corner.

“I figured nothing left to lose, so I walked over and pitched him the idea while he dug into his calzone. I could tell he was amused by my naïvity,” he grinned and shook his head at the memory.

“He handed me his business card and told me if I was gutsy enough to interrupt his dinner, I’d earned at least twenty minutes on his calendar. Tim’s still my biggest investor and has become a friend and mentor.”

“So, you brought me here because this place is special for you,” Cassie said, astutely connecting the dots.

“Yes,” Nate said, topping their wine glasses. ”It marked a new and auspicious professional beginning for me. I’m hoping it does the same on a personal level with you.”

Cassie sniffed in amusement and observed him over the rim of her glass. “Tim was right. You’re definitely gutsy. No wonder Fortune Magazine put you on the cover.”

Cassie appreciated that he didn’t push her for an answer, letting their conversation drift to other topics. But in the back of her mind, she kept turning over his proposition and wondered if she was ready to move on from Ethan.

It was late when they returned to Boston, and the drive from Logan Airport to her apartment didn’t take long. Cassie felt satiated from the meal and the company. And a little bit tipsy from the wine, if she was honest.

Nate escorted her up the steps of her building, and they stood facing each other in front of the street entrance door. He took her hand and moved close, angling his face, and his hazel eyes caught the light.

Anticipating a goodnight kiss, Cassie tilted her head back and wondered how his lips would feel against hers. And would they be enough to make her forget laser blue eyes and a firm mouth that had touched every part of her body and soul?

Lifting his hand, he tenderly brushed a golden lock of hair off her cheek, tucking it behind her ear.

“So,” he murmured, leaning in. “How does dinner and dancing sound for our next date?”

“Hmm. I haven’t decided if I’m going on a third date with you yet,” Cassie said, amused.

“You know, I believe that honesty is the best policy,” Nate said, his lips hovering above hers. “So, to be perfectly honest, I want to spend many more days with you.”

Cassie stilled. He was being honest with her, and she owed him the same. She stepped back, breaking the spell cast by the wine and a moonlit night.

“I need to confess something,” she said, closing her eyes briefly as she struggled to find the right words.

Nate looked confused, but he didn’t say anything.

“I was in a relationship until recently, and it ended badly,” Cassie said, rushing to get the words out before the pain that never went away caught up. “He broke my heart, but I can’t seem to get over him. I don’t want to lie to you, pretend I’m okay moving on when I don’t know if I’m ready.”

She peeked at Nate through her brows, worried that she’d hurt him or made him angry by not being honest sooner. He looked taken aback, but he pressed his lips and schooled his features neutrally.

“I’m sorry you’re hurting, Cassie,” Nate said eventually. “But I can’t be sorry that his loss is my gain.”

He put up a hand when she started to speak.

“Not many people know this, but I was engaged several years ago,” he said, shoving his hands in his pant pockets and rocking back on his heels. “She dumped me when she realized I didn’t want to become a doctor after med school. It took me a long time to get over what we were to each other, longer than it should have. So, I get it.”

“I like you,” Cassie said sincerely, tears in her eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you when I’m still mourning the loss of what could have been.”

“Dreams of what could be are the worst delusions and the hardest to wake up from,” he said softly, a hint of sadness in his eyes.

Nate checked his wristwatch. “It’s late. You have work tomorrow, and I need to fly back to Maryland tonight.”

He stepped towards her and framed her face between his hands, his eyes so gentle and understanding that Cassie felt like crying.

“I like you too, Cassie, and we could be amazing together,” he said. “Selfishly, I want you to pick me because you believe that too. But I don’t want to be the fallback guy because you know he will never be an option.”

“I do believe that, but….” Cassie said, her voice drifting off when uncertainty reared its ugly head.

“Let’s do this,” he said, filling the silence. “I’m leaving on an R&D trip to Australia in a few days with a detour to Singapore. I should be back in about three weeks, four at the most. Take this time to figure out what you need and if things with him are truly over. I’ll accept your decision, whatever that is.”

He kissed her forehead, a sweet touch rife with friendship and caring, and then he was gone.

Cassie watched the red lights of his car fade into the distance and wished she could fall in love with Nate. But as things stood now, she couldn’t see herself loving anyone but Ethan.

When a Valentine meets their true love, it’s for life. But could a Ramsey believe that too?

------------------

All Fics & Edits: @annfg8 @bluebelle08 @coffeeheartaddict2 @crazy-loca-blog @doriopenheart @genevievemd @headoverheelsforramsey @lucy-268 @jamespotterthefirst @jerzwriter @lady-calypso @mainstreetreader @peonierose @potionsprefect @queencarb @quixoticdreamer16 @rookiemartin @socalwriterbee @takemyopenheart @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction

Submissions: @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Ethan & Cassie only: @cariantha @custaroonie @hopelessromantic1352 @mrs-ramsey @youlookappropriate

[ametistapp]

Since it's Autism Awareness Month, here's

Why the puzzle piece is offensive to the Autistic Community

[Large text: Why the puzzle piece is offensive to the Autistic Community]

Unfortunately, the most commonly used symbols to represent autism are all puzzle related, like the ones bellow.

These symbols and similar ones are typically used by Autism Organizations that are run by allistic people rather than autistic, Autism Speaks being the best-known example across the internet, but not the only one.

I'm not going to go deep into how bad Autism Speaks is, but just to leave you with the tip of the iceberg, know they used to put out ads that demonized autistic people (and even one in which one of the organization's leaders spoke about wanting to drive herself and her autistic daughter off a bridge).

Autism Speaks, and many others, attempt to "teach" people about autism, without hearing what actually autistic people have to say, and that's their biggest (but not at all only) problem.

Now, stay with me as we dive into history...

The puzzle piece was first used as a symbol for autism in 1963, by UK's National Autism Society, later on being adopted by Autism Speaks, which made it more popular.

Back then, autism awareness campaigns were viewed as being similar to, for example, cancer awareness ones, because autism was seen as an illness, a disease (which it is not).

As I've made clear before, the puzzle piece is heavily associated with organizations that spread misinformation about autism, making it, of course, already a bad symbol to represent us, but there's something I personally feel bothers us a lot more, and that is the symbolism of the puzzle piece.

The puzzle piece represents an idea of "mystery" and — you guessed it — being "puzzled".

And us, autists, don't really appreciate being called confusing.

Not only that, these words were often used to describe autism offensively in the past (and still are). And, on top of that, most times, when you find a puzzle supposed to represent autism, it is incomplete.

Isn't the message clear enough?

We're people, not puzzles that have to be worked out. We're not incomplete and we're not "puzzled".

So

Which symbols can you use for autism awareness?

[Large text: Which symbols can you use for autism awareness?]

The infinity rainbow symbol is common for all neurodivergent people, while the golden infinity is specific for ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder, in case you didn't know the acronym).

The infinity symbol represents the complexity and vastness of neurodivergence and autism.

Autism is less about "severity" and more about different struggles in different topics and areas (though not a lot of people seem to understand that, unfortunately). After all, autism is a spectrum, not a scale.

And if you're interested in why golden is the color of choice for us, that'd be because the periodic symbol for gold is Au, which I think is very clever, haha.

Some people also like to use red or plain yellow, I don't know a lot about that, but I'd recommend you research it.

And since we're on the topic of color, just a warning: in the Autistic Community we kind of avoid using blue to represent us, especially because it is heavily associated with Autism Speaks' "Light It Up Blue" movement.

Blue is seen as a representation of feelings like sadness, as well as being commonly associated with boys (this is important because women and other AFAB are often misdiagnosed and underdiagnosed because many people still think autism is only found in boys, and because many traits are viewed as "normal behavior" in AFAB people).

This isn't to say you can't use blue in the title of your PowerPoint presentation about ASD, it's just a thing we try to avoid.

Well, that should be all.

I decided to make this post because I've seen many people post about which symbols to use for Autism Awareness Month, but no one explaining why.

Thought this could help some poor lost soul understand it, lol

Happy Autism Awareness Month, my beloved Yippies, and a thank you to everyone who stopped to read <3 (heart).

Now I'm gonna go clean my search history and my gallery, just reading "Autism Speaks" gives me the ick.

[lutawolf]

Love In the Air Ep 8 Review & Running Commentary

We are now entering into the territory of Sky and Prapai. Be prepared people because there is going to be Sexual Assaults triggers. MAME does not do this for fun, it's actually a way of her dealing with her own demons. I think that's one reason why I'm less triggers, I'm used to listening to survivors. That and this should be less of a surprise which is what typically triggers me.

Sky hasn't had a particularly easy life. Which has created walls a mile high. His best friend Rain has made it past those walls. So when he asks for a favor, Sky reaches out to his abusive ex to achieve said favor. Which leads to a tailspin of him meeting Prapai who jokingly suggests that Sky return his protection for sex. Only for Sky to take him seriously and be down for it. Immediately Prapai is drawn to the sad and passionate boy, and he'll do whatever it takes to break the walls Sky has down. But can he handle the story that created the walls to begin with?

Let's start.. Ahhh, I'm not gonna lie, I'm a litter nervous to see how they handle this. So we are starting at the street race where they will eventually meet. I truly love Sky, he is sassy but will do anything for his friend. Even talk to his jack ass ex. Blah, blah, let us skip to Sky's intro. There we go. Ohh, I like how we have Prapai immediately noticing Sky. It's a cute back and forth, with Sky nervous and unsure and Prapai intrigued. Oh shit! the two coconuts noticed him. I'm gonna go ahead and forgive them since they help Rain later on but coconuts. Damn that music is making it intense right, I know what's going to happen cause of previous but still.

And there we go, "He's my boy." Then he takes him away and attempts to get some answers from him. While Sky looks scared, he isn't talking. "intruders like you can't leave" "What do you want?" "It depends on what you can offer me but if I can choose." To which he goes to touch Sky's face. At that point Sky knows what is up and rolls his eyes. "So you know what you need to give to get out of here?" "You better hurry up, the next race is about to start. Tik Tok." "Just take what you want" I got to be honest here, I really wish that had just stopped at the but if I can choose. Even in the book it was handled better because it's made to be a joke that Sky just happens to be good with. So yeah, I'm not thrilled.

Not Just Wind but a Typhoon.

Okay so we can at least say that Sky is very involved in the kissing. He is not holding back in any way. He giving as good as he is getting. Ohhh, he even pulls him closer. Alright, not a great start but homeboy for sure wants this. OH hell to the yeah, I was concerned that wouldn't show him going down but they are not being shy. Give it to me baby, uh huh. Oh yeah, I don't think there is any doubt any anyone's mind that Sky wants this. DAAAAAAMN. And Sky rides and rides well. I love that they don't shy away from letting us hear them! So hot.

Sky leaving Prapai's place, looking all kinds of sad. Damn, this pulling on my heart strings. Then doing a flash back to them in the bedroom and Prapai is not going to let go of this boy any time soon. Damn, Sky even tells him to bring it on. "They're all assholes." poor baby boy, are you trying to convince yourself. Though I got to admit he did act like an asshole baby boy but you seemed to enjoy the sex at least. Okay, I'm gonna say the book did this better because in the book when he leaves we know he enjoys the sex but he's like, walls are up and no emotions. Peace out dudes. Really wish they had kept that. This just makes it feel not good. Just my opinion don't come at me.

Oh wait, did I speak to soon. Are we gonna get that part? Much better. We know he enjoyed the sex but those walls are a mile high. He wants human contact but he doesn't trust it. Can't. Meanwhile Prapai is hooked, he can't forget him. That's a first for him. Awww, here is the cute little brother. Who flies a rainbow flag. Hahaha, mamma knows, she got slut babies. You about to lose your freedom buddy boy, I would say enjoy it while you can but you already caught.

"Shitty things always happen to me." You killing me baby boy. Now I'm back to not knowing how to feel about this. Yeah you guys, the book did it better. The inner monologue in the book really helped you to understand Sky. This just leaves me feeling like I got whip lash. Today's topic is "How to forget the one you want to forget" I guess this is supposed to be like his inner monologue? Ahh okay, that's exactly what it's supposed to be. They could have done this better but at least we are getting it, right.

Three Months Latter

Prapai really thought he could forget him and since he can't. Didn't he. Sig and Som really just need to fuck it out. Oh and back to Prapai, sorry buddy, there will be no next time. And back to Sky. Don't be stepping between these two, they really just need to fuck it out. And let us watch... Yeah we all know why Som is moody, he lost any chance with Payu. Som not the only one upset with Rain. Ple be riding the jelly train too. Try riding something else, it helps. Sig, you stupid buffalo, are you really making the rock and roll sign.

Look at the rider who would rather be ridden. That's all he can think about. His attention was on or. It means your obsessed. If you can't get something off your mind then you are obsessed. This isn't rocket science. "You either love it very much or hate it very much." Accurate. "Beautiful sky and perfect weather are perfect for making a decision." You guys should know that his name means wind. "I've made up my mind, if he won't get out of my head then I won't let him go." About damn time, now go get ya boy. I mean me too, I feel a little sorry for him but it will work out in the end.

This is totally me when I'm reading. I giggle and clap my hands. I'm redunk. Ohhh, this nerd understands! I feel that pain to my soul. Thinking you have all the series only to find out you missed one so you have to get dressed and reschedule everything to get it. Staying up all night to read is not relatable at all. Sky thinking it's Rain calling to complain about Payu. Instead it's Prapai beeeeeing creepy as fuck. What the hell. You might as well heavy breath too. Just stop the fuck boy flirting. I love Sky so much, he's like, this bitch. Prapai stop flirting like a fuck boy, that is not how you are going to win Sky. NO Prapai, you don't sound creepy and ominous at all. 🤦🏽‍♀️

Ahh there we go though, a reference to his name. "A hot wind god." "Brace yourself because I'm serious." Well at least there is that. Homeboy knows what he wants now. Ahh see Sky knew his name, he is like, no way. Impossible. "Someone like him won't be attracted to someone like me." That's where you are wrong baby boy. That's where you are wrong. Oh, did you block his number?? HA!

Look at you smiling like an idiot. Cause you an idiot. Okay but that's cute, you like your angry Sky. Did he really kiss his phone. He got it bad. Are the exercise machine advertisement? Opps, must not have blocked him. Oh their ceremony is cute! OH I'm Dying. Go Som Go!

And hello Prapai. Yes, Sky, that's brilliant. I now see why you and Rain are close friends. You both have white crayon moments. You cute and you smart but sometimes the common sense is lacking. He is literally standing right there looking at your dumbass behind a box. Oh, you fuck head Rain. You sold your bestie out did ya. Look at that look, that Sky is giving Rain. HA!

So fucking lame Prapai. Sky is like wtf dude and I am dying. His facial expressions are the best. Fucking white crayon Rain. OMG, I love Sky's facial expressions so much. Look at Rain trying to make amends. You gonna have to do better than that buddy. I literally just laid my head down on the desk. He is whispering to Sky that Rain doesn't know about them and Rain is leaning in to listen. From even that range I would hear him. Dead. Rain is like, say bye to me damnit.

Oh, hands off buddy. Look at Sky still being polite and saying thank you for being dropped off. "You should find someone else to play with." "I wouldn't have been here if I wanted someone else." "Look, I don't want to play with you." "If you never try you never know." "It's because I already tried it that I don't want it." Ouch! Buuuuurn! Okay but Prapai is hilarious. Like are you serious that I didn't get you hooked just a little. "This is so unfair. Am I the only one that can't get enough of you." Homebody is hooked and wanting but Sky has been played. He has walls a mile high. You gonna have to prove it dude.

"Lets start over. My name is Prapai. See? I told you I am the hot wind God." "A wind God, I thought you were a Cyclops." Actually this should be “Prapai, right? I thought your name was Wirun Chambang.” Wirun Chambang is a giant that appears in Ramayana Buddhism stories. The joke still fits though, 🤣. We back to fuck boy flirting. Really. Aww Sky, can't you tell that Prapai only gets more enthralled the more annoyed you get. That boy thinks you cute. Danger! Danger! Will Robinson! He is in hot pursuit. "I can't believe how shameless that guys is." Umm, really? Cause I gotta say, I saw the clues a mile away. You don't stand a chance but make it hard at least. People don't appreciate what they don't have to work for.

"Rain will be dead meat tomorrow." Yeah, that's fair. Then he goes to look out the window. How freaking cute. See jitter bug got some feelings. "A guy like him only wants sex. Get it together Sky." Oh baby boy, you been hurt pretty bad. Prapai needs to get on that fix it train. Jitter bug got feelings but he is scared to have them. Yup, Prapai thinks Sky is adorable, he doesn't mind the grump at all. A fucking coffee receipt. At least he met his boy though. Let the wall destruction commence!

Haha Rain, take your punishment. Sky might thank you later but today is not the day. Damn, no wonder Rain is good at taking punishment. Boy been a sub to his bestie, 🤣🤣🤣.

Sunflowers! So pretty! Really that's your note, meanie why can't I get you out of my head. Smh. Better than fuck boy flirting. He named him Psycho in his phone! Love it! Oh, we got a story too. "Cause the sunflower face the sky. I can't be the sun for you. But whenever you see sunflowers, remember that this wind is watching over the sky." Okay, yeah, you are upping your game. You are for sure moving away from the fuck boy moves into adult moves. Sky is like, that shits cheesy... Shit, I like it. Noooooo they are too pretty for the trash!

Choosing the flowers. "Sometimes sexy. Occasionally sad. Mysterious at times. But I want flowers that give off lovely vibes. So he'll give me a bright smile." First step to stepping of the fuck boy bus. Picking out the flowers yourself and delivering them yourself.

We are at the end! Okay I've got mixed feelings but I'm still liking it. I also think it will get better. I'm here for it. Hope you guys enjoyed. 💜💜💜 As always this is dedicated to the coconuts mafia. 💜💜💜

[plumsaffron]

On why people are so hard on Wallflower, I think part of it comes from how redemptions in EQG were starting to get repetitive around this time, with Juniper and Vignette in particular being seen as the worst among the villain redemptions with being too rushed.

Plus her motivation being seen as too weak. The face she only lashes out at Sunset for "ignoring her" does feel a bit weak considering how everyone else (Trixie clearly showed she ignores her all the time and even the nicer characters like Pinkie and Fluttershy still ignore and forget her) did the same thing, so why would Wallflower only be mad at Sunset specifically for that if everyone else did the same thing? I do think if they had sorta tweaked Wallflower's motivation from "You ignore me so I'm gonna ruin your friendships" to "You bullied and humiliated me so I'm gonna ruin your friendships", it'd probably be seen as a smoother backstory with less flak. And it is even hard to figure out how much of Wallflower's being ignored was the others' fault and how much was it self inflicted considering she states she always used the Memory Stone to wipe everyone's memories of her all the time so her being ignored is partially her own fault too.

Probably. Anyways though.

They're more of antagonists to me compared to First Movie Sunset, Principal Cinch, Filthy Rich and maybe KL and SZ. But whatever

Not even mad at Juniper Montage. Pinkie Pie but mostly Rainbow Dash were idiots who honestly had it coming. Like bruh did y'all remember what y'all did? Regardless of it being right and she getting what she deserved. You saw her face of contempt and later on y'all come to chat with her in the mall where she hears that annoying dance magic song haunting her. And the two basically rub it in their face her schemes got her to be an usher. Common sense machine broke (which is sad cause they've faced worse or other dangerous threats previously). The real problem though is that her ambition of a dream was taken away thanks to Sunset Shimmer and her friends was devolved into this maybe you actually want a friend by Starlight. They also ignore the part where Starlight Glimmer technically is the reason why the seven girls were about to fall into an endless void. Then Juniper Montage has to apologize first for some reason for some conflict they began to be like oh we forgive you. Like it should be the other around.

Vignette on the other is just an imbecile. I wouldn't say it was rushed for her either. She may be a scrub but she didn't know her go away device was actually like spawning people in a limited size container. She was pretty detached and didn't really have anything of friends.

I would go far as to say Supernova Zap and Kiwi Lollipop were just fugly as Abacus Cinch and Filthy Rich because Sunset didn't deserve to be time loop tormented because of some stupid Perfection Manure. Clowns didn't care and attempted to add a ban Sunset and Pinkie Pie interfering in their time loop to achieve their idea of perfection. They couldn't even like look for like another time in the dang future. 3 weeks of time torture for Sunset and they didn't care they wanted to continue til they go it right. Those dweebs had no purpose and didn't care who they were affecting. They only whined because their time loop was broken. Then they played a song with Sunset and Pinkie Pie. Now that is what rushed really is. And worse. It was not deserved at all. Heck I might even say First Movie Sunset going good suddenly feels rushed (though she's the only one who actually payed besides Montage but unlike her Twilight gives Sunset The Human 6 Pass. Thus meaning it would not be a start from scratch luck). Sometimes I'm juggling considering if Montage's was less artificial or even less rushed feeling than Sunset's ever but whatever.

Now onto Wallflower Blush. Some may wonder why doesn't she go after everyone else? Why is it Sunset? It's pretty simple if one remember what Sunset has done in the past and everything before being defeated. Like she changed but not everyone is going to simply be like I forgive you. Heck Sunset even hates how she used to be and doesn't want the past to haunt her. Songs included oof.

Wallflower, unlike everyone else, is seen as an anomaly. She wasn't as forgiving or conforming as everyone else simply because oh Sunset helped save them quad times so lets be friends now and forget. I mean that's nice but eh.

One must remember that Sunset is in association with popular girls or her defeaters. So that also makes things easier for her while also making Wallflower be like what is this crap?

However, imagine this. A person ruining you or others around you for a long time and now look they said sorry and now everyone is treating the biggest meanie well while they still proceed ignoring you entirely. Now look. Girl somehow is deemed best friends of the year with her main friends. Like no one else got this reward instead. Idk seems bias. They also didn't thank her for handing that to Sunset or rather Sunset herself at least.

The jerk rose to the top or rather she was at the top and honestly she immediately gets back at the top now that's she's good. Meanwhile you are at still in the same place. Bruh these ignorers now saluting a girl who tried to destroy a girl's way out and property and possessed y'all or us and almost destroyed her soon to be defeaters? And again all the other crap she's done (framing, threatening her pet (ugh I hate that they didn't make Spike The Dragon human), being a part of why Twilight's human world variants are no longer friends for a long time till Twilight fixed that. Fear, terror, using Flash as a means to rise, etc.) Like what kind of quick forgiveness nonsense is that? I'll say quick because all it really took was Dazzlings to be defeated in the second movie for the school instantly forgave her. Like Wallflower is definitely upset with all else. She did sing a song about it but it's just she sees Sunset as a root above all the rest. Why will be explained below somewhere.

So why not go after the jerk. There's no real difference with the others of before. Like Wallflower doesn't like that occurrence but Sunset thing can be viewed as unfair nonsense. Like imagine someone humiliating you and others for a long time, end up being the owner of your favorite products or is the mayor of your town and they just somehow stay winning oh and bonus; all those facing worse treatment or similar are now their best associates and they treat this jerk as awesomeness. Wallflower sees everyone as fooled by Sunset's change. She sees Sunset as fake but that will be explained somewhere below.

Anyways. What could be worse than a person causing terror upon the students and staff and making no one is able to rebel. And she had Snips and Snails as loyal followers to her cause. Well what if that people appear to have changed but now everyone is on her side and soon become dependent on her. And seeing her as all that. And having an iconic cast of friends thanks to Princess Twilight. To Wallflower it's like Sunset transcended from a disaster to everyone's dependency. The ultimate trick she could see that can be done by Sunset because it seems were fake to her how everyone else simply or quickly just let go.

So yeah I really don't think revenge upon a real jerk is a weak motive. I'd say Cinch Supernova Kiwi and Vignette Valencia are weaker than Wallflower's. (I'm excluding Juniper's because I feel what occurs between movie and mirror magic are too different to me (mostly cause they human six had that coming)).

Regardless it really doesn't matter if Wallflower's motive or reason is viewed as weak. I'll explain why it being deemed weak becomes a worthless take.

The thing that people tend to forget is the context, the situation, and the event. They choose when they want to claim something as weak but will ignore what I just said above. Her problem is Sunset. It was just the wrong place and the wrong time. Pretty much a ticking time bomb. What's consistent is her state of given up or feeling she has no value. People forget the part where Trixie indirectly helped reawaken the bad times with proof images on an old year book. It doesn't help that Sunset straight up forgot Wallflower was right there and shut the lights off on her. Like dude you bumped into Wallflower after singing your dang song when she's trying to get you attention for half the We've Come So Far song.

Anyways. Another thing is people fail to see things from Wallflower's side. And you know what else. It's clearly shown that Sunset is being the actual problematic one. So sad that I am unable to say that I'm surprised that it is ironically Invisible to many. Literally she's proving her right after times Wallflower was considering maybe she was wrong but nope Sunset just manages to not prove her wrong. Her actions against Wallflower aren't helping, but fulfilling how Wallflower sees herself and Sunset and others. You would think that there would be chance but somehow there's a lack of resonance or consideration still despite putting herself out there. Only to be once again Invisible or ignored and then threatened. And fools acting like Wallflower is the problem. BRUH, Sunset Shimmer is not helping. She was fulfilling. Trixie had to get Sunset to realize things but it was kind of too late and Sunset pays briefly. But as you know it ends after; Wallflower defeated Empathy Apologies Understanding Friendship blah blah blah

This is the tragic tale of when fandoms or viewers are too hero or protagonist side oriented. So much denial to the point of tricking themselves against another and the chances of seeing different are slim. It's even worse when another character canonically tells a protagonist to change your perspective but the viewer(s) like oh Antagonist must be bad they can't be actually right must find something to thrash them upon as a distraction. The protagonist or hero must always been right. I have to refuse to admit if they screwed up.

Be mindful that Wallflower Blush didn't erase the memories of everyone each time (well not known) until seeing Sunset again in Forgotten Friendship. She says only little things when she first found the memory stone. And eventually got used to it. However it's very vague. I doubt it was everyone anyways. The only time she erased everyone memories was the when she erased everyone's or her friends good memories of Sunset. You also see that she tends to bury it instead of merely keeping it all the time with her.

Again it doesn't matter if it was self inflicting as her being flat out ignored has been occurring for a long time before she ever found the stone. Here's something else. You'd think having a clean slate would make these people react different but it only showed no matter what, they would do the same thing to you or treat you the same. One could see it as it's them still. The Memory Stone unfortunately became a smokescreen meme template used for solely blaming Wallflower instead of realizing that she's been bound to the same fate with or without it. Like no one else changed their ways. Which is quite ironic considering they easily changed for Sunset.

How much of no difference of the memory stone being used is like Wallflower having the ability to ctrl z a person answering 2 + 2 as 22 but they somehow pick any number that isn't 4.

It's funny how memory stone gets claimed as an excuse to ignore all the crap that happened to Wallflower earlier because oh no now it's her fault. Let's ironically forget of everything else before. It's like oh you now put your hand in water after being dumped with hot water and you didn't know you were putting your hand there but earlier hot water keeps being dumped on your face for a long time but since you put your hand in water a few times or are used to it at times because you don't see a new day, everyone should ignore that you were always dumped with hot water on your face and it was going to happen regardless if you had your hand in water or not. It's your fault completely now for everything that the rest dumped on you.

This is the summit of what refusing to admit an antagonist can be actually screwed over does to a viewer. One must find an excuse to egg them. But you know what. Her being ignored by them is how many may do unfortunately.

The actual problem though is when Wallflower throwing herself out there and saying what's been going on with her. Everything is told and yet despite it all she was ignored. Much melancholic state already. Then imagine being grabbed and someone invaded and skimmed your memories and are acting like you are the problem after like you were considering maybe I was wrong about them because she lifted your mood up. Then her friend is like who are again? Like WHAT!? Then you put you went out your way tell what's been going on. All your feelings put out there and you discover the one who went into your memories is going through your bag. Really and asks what did I do to you I don't even know you. And then they prove you that it appears that they were a facade the whole time. HUH?! Now that's disrespect right there. Explain my life. PFT *SIGH MASSIVE* This is the real deal? Who the deemed as the best with her friends. So they are fooled by her it seems.

LOL!

Will say this. The self inflicted is not the memory stone. It's actually Wallflower staying in a toxic environment. Hmm that'd be nice. Leaving such. Still... Many don't know they could or might not be able too.

[wildlife4life]

Fuck-It Friday

Tagged by @jesuisici33, @rogerzsteven, @housewifebuck, @disasterbuckdiaz, @cowboydiazes, @hippolotamus, @forthewolves, @911onabc, @spotsandsocks, @wikiangela, @eddiediaztho, @try-set-me-on-fire, @jeeyuns, @buddierights, @devirnis, and @giddyupbuck Thank you all so much and I look forward to all your works!

Alright, so I have slowed down on writing a bit this week. Just haven't been in the head space and I'm stuck a little on some scenes. I will figure it out though. But here is some more angsty NFL Buck.

“I’m sorry mijo, Buck is a little upset right now, but he promised me earlier that he will call you later.” Eddie assured. “Why is he upset? Is it because he misses us? Because I miss him too and maybe if he knew that he could be less busy, and we can still visit.” Christopher declared, breaking Eddie’s heart further. His son was too good and has so much unconditional love. He also had been hurt too often by those who took that love for granite. Eddie tried clearing his throat, pushing down his own sadness and regret, “Christopher, you know Buck will always make time for you and I know he misses you so much, but your abuela had some concerns about traveling and I… I agreed. It’s not safe right now.” The young boy looked mildly confused, “Is the hurricane coming to Dallas too?” His confusion morphs into fear, “Is Buck in danger? Is he going to be trapped in the water?!” “No! No! Christopher, I promise you hurricane Harvey will go nowhere near Dallas or El Paso okay? Buck is completely safe where he is. And so are you.” Eddie gently ensured. Chris calms a little, “Then why isn’t is safe to go to Dallas?”

I making myself very sad with this arc of the story...So I must make others sad too lol. Hope ya'll enjoyed! You can find more NFL Buck post here.

Tagging: @exhuastedpigeon, @alyxmastershipper, @ladydorian05, @thewolvesof1998, @911-on-abc, @spaceprincessem, @loserdiaz @bvckandeddie @cowboy-buddie @cowboy-buck @thekristen999 @glorious-spoon @watchyourbuck @diazblunt @monsterrae1 @buck-coded @transbuck @bekkachaos @eowon @elvensorceress @starlingbite @brokenribsdiaz @bigfootsmom @rainbow-nerdss @theotherluciferr @gayedmundodiaz @lover-of-mine @athenagranted And anyone else who wants to post! Tag me I love to see all the snippets!

[hughjidiot]

Like Father, Like Libby is by far my most anticipated episode of season two of The Ghost and Molly McGee. Ever since I heard about it via leaks I've given it a lot of thought, and come up with a prediction for how the episode will go.

Well less of a prediction and more of a hope. I hope the episode shows Libby's father to be a total deadbeat loser who's barely involved in his daughter's life and does not change his ways by the end of the episode.

First off, why am I so sure he's a deadbeat? Two words: bat mitzvah. Not only did he not show up in that episode, but he was never even mentioned. There's no good reason for a father to miss one of the most important days of his daughter's adolescence, so it's safe to assume that Libby's father isn't that close to her nor does he want to be.

Now onto my prediction for the episode: the summary describes Libby being excited to see her father after receiving a late bat mitzvah gift. My guess is he's only doing so because he feels guilty about skipping Libby's bat mitzvah and wants to feel better about himself. Unfortunately Libby will read this as her father wanting to change for the better and be involved with her life again, only to be disappointed and heartbroken when it becomes obvious that no, he's still a deadbeat loser.

And yes I know that's a very heavy topic for a kid's cartoon to handle. But TGAMM has already shown they can tackle serious subjects like childhood homelessness and early 20th century European antisemitism in ways that are respectful and well-written for the target audience, so I don't see why the subject of deadbeat parents would be any different.

Anyways while this will undoubtedly be sad for Libby, I'm predicting this is how the episode will go because it sends a harsh but important message: sometimes biological parents are just awful people who won't change and you'll be better off without them in your life. And on the flip side, I feel like having Libby's dad see the error of his ways would be a really bad message to send to the target audience: "Hey kids, do you have a deadbeat parent? Don't worry, someday they'll come back and everything will be sunshine and rainbows."

[plural-culture-is]

Okay, I'm seriously questioning being a plural or somehow counting as a plural because there are a LOT of common experiences of plurals that don't feel right but also a LOT of common experiences of plurals which is something I've had for as long as I can remember

When I was younger, I had at least 4 imaginary friends that I honestly don't remember much about, but I probably didn't control or didn't feel like I controlled any of them, as they did things on their own that were a bit difficult for a child at my age to think, like sit somewhere on their own because they were tired (according to my mother) and still had quite a different personality from me, but they weren't inspired by me at all (as a girl from rainbow hair who wore jeans? I DON'T EVEN LIKE JEANS!!!), but I honestly don't know if I really imagined them on my own or not, I just know that they disappeared some time later and I never saw them again

Sometimes, when I'm really stressed, I write texts talking about how I would protect myself or how I would treat myself well if I "were there" and hmmm maybe it's just some form of self embracement? idk

Since I was very young, I've had A LOT of problems with identities, including various dissociations (with unusual frequency) where I couldn't look at or think about my face or myself in general without literally feeling unreal, or somehow "in the wrong body", I thought for a while that it could be dysphoria or something but I realized that no, it's just feeling like I shouldn't be there but also feeling like you shouldn't be anywhere or even exist in fact. Also, my gender is inconsistent, I don't have ANY name or title that I'm comfortable with or that "sounds like me" (and even when one sounds good, once I start using it it always starts to sound wrong), my pronouns are endless because there's no right pronoun for me so I just accept them all, my sexuality and feelings in general also always seem SO weird, like I don't have any fixed identity, like I'm a shapeshifter who changes all the time and doesn't have a single true or close to true form, and that's annoying. It almost doesn't even feel like I'm a person. I don't even identify as human or feel like I'm any species or concept, everything feels right and wrong at the same time.

I don't inherently feel like there are people in my brain that are separate from me, but I feel like my identity is a weird mix of various people's identities, like there's nothing right because technically all of this is right and all of that is wrong at the same time.

I, since I heard about the experiences of being a system, felt something very strange, like a feeling that I should be that. Something like an ache because "hm, I should be that, but for some bad luck I'm not", it was almost sad, like "bro i want to be a separate person instead of THAT WEIRD MIX"

I also don't feel like there are people "controlling" me, nor do I "hear voices" (no more than those normal voices of thought), much less do I have an "inner world", I just... I feel like I am "one thing that shouldn't be just ONE thing", if that makes sense, like "I'm just one person, but something tells me there should be more people here" and at the same time it scares me because my whole I've been that "together", I also know that it seems wrong to say that I'm "just one person" because I technically AM one person, but not in the way that one person is just one person, but in the way that a fusion of Steven Universe could be considered one person while assuming that it is a mixture of different people that have come together so well that there is now only one person.

I think that's it? I'll probably say more if I remember, so I'll just call myself "🤔 anon" for now

(Btw, if it's important information: I'm autistic, I have ADHD, I have OCD, I'm probably BPD and I'm almost certainly AvPD, and maybe-but-not-sure DPD and do have trauma so... hm, i hope it helps 🐞)

(🤔 anon) ANOTHER VERY COMMON EXPERIENCE FOR ME is how many times I find myself saying "we" did something when I mean "I" did something. But "I" always feels wrong because I feel like there were more "parts" of me in that situation. Maybe it's something along the lines of "I had too many thoughts at the time to say it was just one person thinking", but I'm not entirely sure.

Another experience that I also think is important to mention: There is a kind of fictional "default" scenario in my brain that I usually imagine myself. It's almost like a world of its own and I can almost feel myself there. It's my grandmother's house (where, funnily enough, most of my dreams, that aren't in totally non-existent places, happen) and there's a kind of party going on, so all the people at the party (my family) are gathered in one place and sometimes I automatically start imagining myself in this scenario showing them things. Other times, that scenario is a little less visual, but I'm still showing them all these things and listening to their docile responses. They practically NEVER react like my family would (or even close to it) and in fact, even though in my head their image is VERY LIKE my family, I never refer to them by my family names, let alone feel any connection to them and my real family.

Of course I have a few other imaginary scenarios, like when I imagine myself hosting a show or something, but it's different, because those are more conscious scenarios, whereas it almost feels wrong not to talk to "my fictional family" if I like to something. Maybe this is just a way of dealing with the fact that I don't feel like there are enough people in my life that I can talk about my tastes, but it's still weird that I can spend literally 4 hours straight in a quiet room without a single device or distraction, just talking to my fictional family about anything.

Also, another thing that might be useful: I've tried MANY times to separate myself into several "persons" to try to understand my identity, but I always have to fill in endless blanks and it's literally impossible for me to say which traits of mine match each of these "persons".

Think of it as seeing a ball of yarn and trying to unravel it in order to make several clothes because it was big enough to make dozens of coats! But then you started to unravel it and you realized how all these threads are too small to make one garment by themselves, but they are all too different to come together to make one garment. So all those threads are stuck in the state of "being a mess" because there isn't anything they could be harmoniously, whether it's several whole garments or a single garment made up of all the threads.

honestly some of that is relatable for us, those were some of our feelings when we were first questioning if we're a system. maybe you're a median system, which could be why you can't separate yourself into distinct individuals, or maybe you have did/osdd which means you don't necessarily have to identify as plural, you could see it in the more medicalised view of you're not multiple people, but you do have different identities that you dissociate between (and if you don't have distinct identities it's more likely to be osdd-1a). also, as a monoconscious system, we don't usually "hear" headmates speaking because in order for them to speak they'd have to be conscious, and it's difficult for more than one headmate to be conscious at once. we also don't feel anyone "controlling" us because we have non-possessive switches, so we just feel as though we become each other. so that's possibly what's going on for you. or maybe you're another type of plural that doesn't have a name yet or we haven't heard of. also that family thing is interesting but unfortunately i have no input to give on it. i'm asking people reading this to let anon know if you relate to any of this and maybe give your own input, if you'd like. but as always, only you can know if you're a system. also having an unstable identity and taking on traits of other people can be a part of bpd. so just make sure you do your research before you decide what label/s (if any) to go with!

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

Yet another reason why Kali needs to come back

Kali's arc is half baked, which I'll never shut up about. We established her morals, she was sad to see El leave, neither of them gets ANY type of closure, and Kali doesn't go through any change despite having an entire episode dedicated to her. The fact there's business left with her is the reason we need her back. She ALSO has alot of backstory the show hasn't covered- so I'm here with my little tinfoil hat theory of Kali's real role at the lab.

Let's start of with some of the facts:

Kali's canon age in S2 is 20, El at the time is 12. They are 8 years apart. (I think a lot of people don't know this, but it's a universal answer wherever I checked)

in the flashback of s2, Kali and El have long hair, regular clothes, and are in a different rainbow room which is not in a hospital- like area.

in the same flashback, Kali and El appear the same age. They are playing together, unlike in the other version of the facility. We don't see any other kids near El or Kali.

since Henry/Vecna/001 uses "while 008 was still here" as a marker of time in S4, it's reasonable to assume the policies on hair and clothes, as well as the building's layout changed in response to Kali's disappearance.

Kali doesn't have telekinesis, telepathy, or electromanipulaton like ALL the other kids do(as we see those are all important to their training) she was born with pets in London, and presumably chosen and kidnapped (and targeted twice) because of her own power of illusion, something of V/H/1's that we don't see replicated in any other number.

Which is where my theory comes in:

Kali was twelve while El was 4(the age they both appear imo in the flashback) this could mean that she was "telling" El to see her as a 4yo as well as anyone around at the time.

I think one possible reason for this is that Brenner wanted her to. Brenner is scared of the telekinetic, but he's also studying them. Two teekinetics in the same room as eachother would be dangerous, so using Kali would be a way to see the kids interact while at ease around someone "their age" who was similar and friendly, but who wouldn't both be able to punch out the eyes of two security guardseach.

Kali is even seen to be held at a clearly higher standard than El bc she was electrocuted, a punishment we only see shared by V/H/1, an employee who interfered with Brenner's plan, and 002, someone who at the time had failed to do Brenner a service (killing El). While it's possible that this was generally common in the Hawkins Lab Facility, these are when we see it, so it is reasonable to draw the conclusion that they're similar. V/H/1, 002, and Kali were punished the same way for the same reason: they were meant to carry out a purpose. Not only as test subjects, but they each had a task as well.

After Kali left for good, that's when it seems the policies changed. Brenner needed a new way to keep the kids seperate now that they couldn't always be physically seperate. That's why in the newer rainbow room, kids are never playing together (the exception being competitive games, which also seemed less popular imo, not to mention we see Brenner pitting them against eachother). These weren't the kids specifically chosen to watch others like Kali and 002 were, so they weren't acting like friends. Brenner didn't want someone back who would refuse her job or kill him or convince a kid to. Kali's job was important enough to seek her out from London, but it's(her job's) goal could be achieved in other ways

Kali was sought out specifically for her illusion powers in order to keep watch on the other kids and show them to interact with other kids but not eachother. Her absence was the reason for the policy changes that we see by the time El is 8yo.

All together, the sketchy situation on its own even without my theory being true means there's so much of Kali's backstory we don't discover in canon so far. Combine that with the fact that she and El never get closure for how they left things off, and nothing makes more sense than a Kali reappearance in s5.