#but now we're growing alongside one another

[0reblogufufu0]

Happy Birthday to the loveliest of friends, @snoobins <3

Twin stars

A universe apart

Just close enough

To wistfully gaze at the other

Knowing yet not

How fate will lead them together

[chlorinecake]

HELLO

Please PLEASE make a fic about the songs church- chase Atlantic!!

It's my latest obsession, next to enha ofc

leading you on | l.hs

♱ plot: from the shy boy you first met at church camp who your parents once adored to their biggest fuckboy nightmare, you and heeseung reconnect on an online platform where you became a popular streaming duo together, leading to some steamy (and eventually forbidden) connections between you two…

loser!streamer!heeseung x fem!streamer!reader

♱ contains: SLOW BURN, swearing, sneaking out, mentions of bulges (multiple times), oral and fingering (f. r.), slight corruption kink, y/n stripping in front of a large audience (on camera), unprotected sex + virginity loss, y/n deliberately disobeying her parents, angst-ish, ft. other kpop idols, roughly 7k words

a/n: this is my first time writing a one shot all about Heeseung so hopefully I did our favorite loser boy some justice in this fic... have fun reading!

Heeseung. He was always just so... flirty with you.

Not emotionally, that is, but physically.

Leaving lingering touches on your thigh during Bible study, whispering dangerously close to your ear in that bedroom voice of his, or texting you random pictures during the day with his bulge obvious in almost every single one.

Two little voices battled in the back of your mind whenever you were around him, one voice wanting him to take things further while the other found it strange how he did such things so shamelessly.

The boy's got sex written all over him, your friends would warn alongside your Christ-converted step-sister Giselle who'd had her fair share of 'guys like Heeseung' in the past.

But you didn't see him that way. Despite his flirty tendencies, you figured those were just attributes that made him who he is.

Who you've always loved him to be.

However, those Holy, Holy, God Almighty church days were long gone by now, being no more than a distant ninth grade memory to you and most of everyone else who attended back then.

Everyone except Lee Heeseung, who could never shake his adolescent infatuation with you... ____, the girl who accepted his flaws and eventually stole his heart.

You and Heeseung reconnected a few years later by chance, the same day of your one year anniversary on your streaming channel.

Initially, your content consisted of one-hour long broadcasts where you'd just talk with random strangers, hearing out their problems and giving righteous advice.

However, Heeseung became a recurrent visitor on your streams, coaxing you to speak on topics more interesting than whether its modest to wear glam makeup or if kissing should be saved for marriage.

Your channel amassed a whopping 20,000 new followers in the first month of Heesung partnering with you, and its part of what led him to becoming an anticipated guest to your growing fanbase.

A dynamic duo, some commenters would call you two... and much to your parents chagrin, at that.

Off camera, things were the same.

You and Heeseung had grown closer than ever, sacrificing sleep to text each other all night, doing fuck-all on your web streams for hours, and even considering meeting up in person for a broadcast after he shared with you that he still lived in the city.

But then... something changed.

Or more accurately, your overly controlling mother put her foot down.

|Messaging| 💬

Heeseung: So we're not allowed to hang out together this Friday ?

You: Not alone... and honestly, not on the streams anymore, either...

Heeseung: Don't tell me its bc ur shyyyy

You: Nope… pArEnTs ^^

You'd say your mom had it out to get Heeseung more than your dad ever did, resenting the mere mentioning of his name at weekly church gatherings.

"That daughter of yours has gained quite the audience on social media," one womann would say, "too bad she seems to be losing her Faith to that poor Heeseung boy..."

"Such a shame," another would agree, adding to the heat-bubbles boiling in your mother's blood-

"Our faith teaches forgiveness and kindness," you defended yourself, just as your mom gave you maybe her third lecture this week on why you should cut ties with him.

"It also advises caution and wisdom when it comes to who we allow into our social circles," she hummed back, taking a sip of her morning coffee, red lipstick staining the rim of the white mug, "I'd be no better than a fool to sit here and support this meaningless friendship between you and that... man."

You internally rolled your eyes at her words, thinking of something, anything to say in order to change the subject right now.

"Well, I have plans with some friends from church tonight, if you don't mind-"

"Will Heeseung be there?"

"What? No," you lied, and not for the first time, either.

It helped you to feel less guilt whenever you blamed it on the little voice in your head, "Just me and the girls," you clarified.

"Mhm," she smiled facetiously before continuing, "I'm afraid I still can't trust you to go, though... especially not after that little stunt you pulled online..."

Your hand halted at the kitchen countertop as her words settled in your mind, "What stunt?"

FLASHBACK

It all started with a picture.

A stupid picture you got dared to leak by an anonymous tipper who offered a $1,000 donation in exchange for a steamy photo of Heeseung.

Chelbear03: God, he looks so THICK

Chelsea, one of your viewers said in the streaming chat, practically moaning at the photo of Heeseung, biting her lip as if she could feel him inside her just by looking at the screen.

Chelbear03: PAINFUL 😩

pucca_princxss: Need a tissue for your drool, Sea-Sea? 🧻

Danielle, another fan joked.

Chelbear03: Okay, FIRST of all, I have drool coming from TWO holes rn- Secondly, I'd rather just have him lick it up 😔

Chelsea typed back, a nuance to her words that you couldn't tell was meant to be either comical or serious.

"Lick up what?" a curious voice asked from the screen.

That's when your hand flew to cover your mouth, eyes going wide at the sight of Heeseung coming back into frame after saying he'd be "afk for a bit while showering."

His hair was still a bit damp from what you could tell, a towel draped lazily around his neck as your eyes unfortunately fell to the lump hiding behind his pants.

Oh God-

"N-nothing! Uhm... it's not important," you chuckled dryly, only adding to the awkwardness everyone was starting to feel from behind their screens.

pucca_princxss: OOP speak of the papi-

Chelbear03: Please forgive me, Hee-man 🧎‍♀️ ... bc I am disrespectfully foaming at the mouth as we speak-

Chelbear03 has left the stream

A notification of Chelsea having left the stream popped up in the chat almost immediately after she sent that message.

"What was that all about?," Heeseung smirked with confusion, looking between both you and the server comments displayed on his screen for an answer that never came.

"Fine then, keep your secrets... its not like I can't just rewind the stream highlights anyway," he added, just as you felt frantic emotions overcome you.

"Heeseung, you really don't wanna do that, just let me explain-"

His jaw dropped, not necessarily in shock, but with intrigue, the raunchy photo of his semi-hard cock through his sweatpants being displayed on the screen, right before his glossy deer-like eyes.

The same picture he'd only ever sent to you.

"I guess this is my mini Drake moment then," Heeseung chuckled to himself, a heavy sigh escaping your lips at his fortunately chill reaction.

"I did it for 1k, Heeseung, I'm sorry," you whined, pulling your knees up in your chair before burying your face behind them.

"Don't be... everyone already knows I'm your slut at this point," he said in a deeper voice, making you freeze once again as your eyes shot up to view the screen, almost in denial that such words even left his mouth.

anonymous tipper: worst thousand $$$ I ever spent... how abt I multiply the price by two for a sexy picture of the lady ?

yxstar3ject: ooo, but i was thinking maybe a double feature instead ? would luvvv to see how she treats this little slut of hers 🤭

Heeseung snickered so loud, you almost felt it on your skin, watching his facial expressions change with each suspicious message that filled the chat box, throughly entertaining him

"Guys, cut it out before I end the stream," you giggled shyly, revealing your full face that looked a little less flustered than earlier, "Heeseung isn't my slut either, okay? Just a good friend, I swear..."

pucca_princxss: you two need to stream in the same room one day bc this long distance sexual tension thing is so not the vibe :|

"Maybe one day..." Heeseung's voice faded off as he turned off the lights in his room, getting ready for bed...

"Maybe~~," your mother repeated in a mocking tone at the memory of your "filthy fest" of a stream that day, disgust displayed all over her before she took the last sip of her coffee as if it'd soothe her.

"Hope that refreshed your memory sweetie, but either way, my answer's no. Not with that slut on the streets and especially not without my supervision..."

“If you’re referring to Heeseung with that vulgar comment, I’m sorry to correct you, but it’s not right to just bash him with words like that,” you went on, leaning your elbows over the counter.

“Please, any guy who sends raunchy dick pics, let alone to a girl he’s not even dating, is a slut, ____,” your step-sister Giselle voiced while walking into the kitchen, dressed in athletic wear as she filled up her water canteen with a lemon flavored electrolyte packet, “not to mention those other weird things he says about your relationship on the stream.”

Despite how much your family claimed to dislike Heeseung, they had no problem with bringing him up every five seconds in a conversation.

You glanced at her through a side eye, shaking your head at the fact that she was just eavesdropping on your conversation, “That was hardly a dick pic, and you should know that better than me, Jizz-elle,” you retorted, putting extra emphasis on the first syllable of her old nickname.

“Yeah, real mature, ____… you can slut shame me but not your little online boyfriend?”

“Ladies!,” your mother raised her voice slightly, pursing her lips at the tension built up between you two, “that’s enough of this discussion…”

You noticed the way your mother’s eyes lingered on your step sister for a moment, “And where do you think you’re going?”

“To the gym,” she answered shortly, walking past your mom and out of the kitchen with haste.

You scoffed out loud, “Not gonna interrogate her like you did to me?,” you said, laughing as if humored when it was really just a way to mask how irritated you were.

“No,” your mom said with a delayed reply, “Giselle is not my blood… I must take her word for what she says to avoid conflict with your step-father… you, on the other hand, will—”

“—abide by your rules… got it,” you finished for her, knowing better than to continue going back and forth with her in this matter.

You left the kitchen, going up to your room and plopping yourself on the bed, staring at the ceiling as you entered into a deep thinking space.

One in which you'd strategize on how to successfully sneak out of the house to hang out with Heeseung tonight.

|Messaging| 💬

You: So, you want me to meet you where again ?

Heeseung: Just take a hard right past the first stop sign from your place and a few steps past that one brown house (pls ignore my Dora ass instructions rn 🗿)

You: ok ok 😭, smart tho !! … that way, none of my neighbors will see your car :D

Heeseung: Exactly. U sure u still wanna do this, tho ?

You: Yeah, ofc ! Had enough of my mom nagging me all day ☝️ I need a release BIG time

Heeseung: Haha, okay then ! I’ll see you at 10:30pm

You: Cya ! 🐒

THE LAST TIME you and Heeseung met in person was back when you were both young teenagers, navigating hormones and puberty while aiming to keep God at the center of it all, so to speak.

You didn’t know what to expect from meeting up with him, and especially not under such circumstances.

Still, you had a pretty good feeling that all this trouble wouldn’t be for nothing.

It was currently 10:34pm as you turned off all the lights in your bedroom, wearing an all black outfit to ensure you weren’t seen.

You double checked to see if you had everything with you before leaving: phone, spare cash, and a well-rehearsed story in case you got caught.

Opening your bedroom window, you stuck out a leg, suddenly feeling thankful for your step-dad giving you the bedroom on the first story of his home.

Both your feet were on the floor now, your hands finding the window sill as you closed the window back, careful not to accidentally lock it back so you would be able to get back in later.

You then followed the instructions Heeseung outlined in your texts, walking a few blocks down and taking a right turn once you reached the stop sign.

That’s when you caught sight of his dimly lit side profile under the lights of his car and through the tinted windows.

His eyes were on his phone until your figure blocked the streetlight that shined in his car, drawing his attention to your face as a smile spread over his own.

His eyes lit up like you were the candle to his soul, stepping out of the sleek black car to come around and give you a hug.

“Oh- hi,” you chuckled shyly, hands hesitating to wrap around him before he pulled away, looking you up and down while bracing your shoulders.

“Hi,” he smiled back, “I was just about to text you when you showed up at my window… nice black fit, by the way.”

“Thanks,” you said in a playful voice, watching as he opened the car door for you to get in.

“Would it be wrong of me to assume your panties match, too?,” he asked teasingly, joining you in the vehicle before pulling out of his parked position and cruising out of the neighborhood.

“Wow, you’re really representing this slut persona of yours, huh?” You teased back, putting on your seatbelt.

“Mostly because I can’t help it,” he shrugged, flashing you a smile before looking back at the road, “the fans ship us anyway, so we might as well commit to it, right?”

“Righttt,” you answered suspiciously, poking his thigh before looking back out the window, “gosh, this is crazy…”

“What is?”

“How long we’ve known each other and still happened to maintain a solid friendship despite the distance.”

“Yea,” he agreed, turning down a lane decorated with flowers that somehow still shined in the dark of the night, “We’d be fools to give up this bond we share, though… fools not to explore it further.”

He pulled into his driveway a few minutes later, showing you around his place before leading you to his bedroom, a familiar sight to you thanks to the streams.

“Oh- you’ve still got your monitors and mic set up?,” you asked curiously, noticing how the screen of his computer was on the streaming website.

“You remember what Danielle said on our last live? About us broadcasting in the same room together sometime…” he started shyly, pushing out another gaming chair for you to sit in.

“You really think it’s a good idea to stream right now?,” you rationalized, watching as he joined you in the nearby seat, “I mean, I’m obviously down for it, but what if my mom sees it again? Or Gisel—”

“I’ve already blocked your mom's account, ____, we should be fine,” he smiled, “and… if not… I’ll exchange another photo with your anonymous tipper for some forgiveness cash,” he shrugged, pouty lips making you melt a little inside. "Deal?"

You always knew that Heeseung was cute, but you didn’t think it was possible for him to get any better looking from behind the screen.

“Okay then,” you agreed with a sigh, hoping that your nerves would calm down once the broadcast started.

Almost instantly, 100 viewers joined when Heeseung pressed the “stream” button.

You both began with greeting everyone, trying to get past the chat’s excitement about finally getting to see you two in the same room together.

yxstar3ject: OMFG YALL ACTUALLY DID IT ❗️ this is the moment we’ve all been waiting for 🤧

Chelbear03: holy fucking fuck, how is she so CALM NEXT TO HIM 😩

mrloverl0ver: everyone in favor of them playing truth or strip for us, spam the chat with W’s

pucca_princxss: hoon, you raging perv- WWWWWWWWWW XD

Chelbear03: ✨ W ✨

laylaspapi: W no homo wait, why's my name pink now ;-;

yxstar3ject: I took orange the other day ~ sawwy Jakey W <3

You watched as the chat box started to flood with W's and other random comments, feeling Heeseung sat a hand on your thigh as if to make you feel more comfortable.

"Alright peeps, chill out with the chat spamming, we see it," Heeseung said, laughing off some of the tension, "It's not like you guys didn't get a free show the other day, anyways," he added.

"I don't know..." you started, voice and logic trailing off as more letter W's filled the screen, "it might be fun?"

"____," Heeseung said more seriously this time, "it's a pointless game, y'know? We're honest with the fans... they already know most of secrets, so its silly to do truth or strip..."

"Great. That'll only make it more challenging for them to get our clothes off then," you smiled, suddenly feeling excited about playing, a bit of your competitiveness rubbing off on the initially cautious boy.

"Fine then... we'll do it," Heeseund said, eliciting a few viewers to send gifts to your broadcast, "I'm gonna need a drink for this first, though."

Heeseung was doing a good job of making it seem like he wasn't totally down for this, even though on the inside, he was mostly concerned with making sure you felt comfortable, too.

He left the room for a moment before coming back with two canned cocktails in his grip, placing them on his desk in front of you two.

"I'm guessing you don't drink much," he said, popping open a can of sugary fizz with his teeth while making eye contact with you, "so take it slow with this, yeah?"

"Sure, dad," you joked, taking a sip from the can, hoping that the alcohol would maintain your fleeting confidence, considering that you'd just agreed to strip in front of hundreds of people online.

Chelbear03: alr, first question heheh, starting easy !! :))) when was the last time you got upset and why

Chelsea was the first to initiate this little "truth or strip" questionnaire. Heeseung read the question out loud before humming to himself in thought.

“Hmm... maybe when I overcooked my ramen this morning?”

"Who eats ramen for breakfast?" You asked with a dry laugh.

"Don't judge me because I have good taste, ____," he replied, shoving your thigh with his knee a bit, "and you're dodging the question..."

"Oh- right," you chuckled shyly, thinking of what to say and whether to be honest, until you remembered the consequence would be to remove a piece of clothing.

“It was um... over some stupid things my stepsister was saying about a friend of mine… also this morning...”

"Does that friend so happen to be me by any chance?," Heeseung asked knowingly, giving you a look that you quickly brushed off.

"Moving on, next question!"

anonymous tipper: name the last person you hooked up with $100 donation on the line here, btw... plus someone's modesty 🙈

Oh God, you thought to yourself, dreading how this anonymous tipper knew you'd do almost anything for money.

It was really a bad trait of yours...

"Wow, just jumping to the extremes, aren't we?," Heeseung mumbled between a sip of his drink, the wet condensation drawing your attention to his glistening digits for a quick second.

How were you just now noticing how thick his fingers ar-

laylaspapi: uh oh someone looks nervous ...

pucca_princxss: mission accomplished 👹👹👹

In all honesty, you didn't really have an answer to that question, but to avoid coming off as prudish, you opted to take a pair of clothing off instead, lifting your hips in your seat to pull your pants down.

"____, what the-" Heeseung started before choking a bit on his drink, not just at your sudden boldness, but at the sight of your lace panties hugging the natural curves of your hips, pants getting bunched up at your ankles before you kicked them off under his desk.

yxstar3ject: 😭😭😭😭 DEFINITELY wasn't expecting that, oml-

Chelbear03: your turn, hee 🙏🙏🙏

Something about how frazzled your usually calm and collected best friend became at the simple act of you undressing before him gave you a feeling of exhilaration.

By now, your top barely covered the flesh of your thighs, a few commenters saying things about "wanting to take a bite" before Heeseung cleared his throat, hoping that they'd stop making things worse for him.

"Well uh, I'm not willing to strip a layer just yet, plus I could use the $100, so I'll be honest..."

The chat stalled momentarily as if everyone watching paused in eager anticipation of who and what Heeseung was going to say.

"It's been a while, I'll admit," he chuckled dryly, staring off as if envisioning it behind his sparkly eyes, "but it was around a year and a half ago... with a girl I'd rather not name, but she was a bit older than me..."

"Oh?," you accidentally said out loud, a strange feeling of happiness washing over you now that you knew he hadn't been with any girl since you two met reconnected. You're not sure why this information made you happy... or maybe you're just not ready to admit how you truly feel about him to yourself yet...

"How'd you two meet? Wait- why am I even asking that," you cringed at your own inevitable curiosity, Heeseung taking delight in how his timidness somehow rubbed back off onto you.

"Nah, it's okay... I'm sure the viewers wouldn't mind a little storytime-"

He adjusted his posture in the chair, eyes scanning a few new comments before he spoke, "I met her during my bad boy stage, I guess you could say... we bonded over the fact that we were both born in October until we eventually started smoking together at a friends house of mine every now and then... she and I were both going through some divorce drama with our parents and uh... we thought fucking would be a good emotional outlet? I don't know, maybe it was more of a distraction, I guess..."

Heeseung didn't expect himself to ramble the way he did, but he wanted you to know the main details, even though he left out a few parts for another time and conversation.

Chelbear03: what would it take for me to be that girl ? just for one night 😔

maindancertypeshit: pretty sure Hee just confirmed he's into older girls, Chels ... and ones with daddy issues at that-

You nearly snorted at the sudden comment, up until you realized who the last one came from.

"Excuse me, but what the hell is a toddler doing on this stream?" Heeseung asked sarcastically, obviously referring to Niki.

pucca_princxss: LMAO, looking for his mommy ofc 🤱 (😏)

maindancertypeshit: ayo, wtf??? so dani's allowed but I'm not?? hmph >:{

maindancertypeshit has left the stream

You sighed while laughing slightly, taking a sip of the drink as water droplets now dripped unto your thighs, Heeseung's eyes doing a terrible job of not staring.

"I say we do one more round before ending the stream," you offered, looking at the time as you knew you'd wanna spend more private time with Heeseung before having to run back home.

yxstar3ject: BOOOOOOOO :(

Chelbear03: im too pressed abt riki rn to give a damn bro did NAWT have to dish me the truth like that 😭😭

mrloverl0ver: ok ok, let's make this last question worth it then hmmm ...

Sunghoon typed in thought, just as the bulb in Heeseungs side lamp suddenly shattered, the loss of light coupled with it's piercing sound making you jolt in your seat, half of your canned cocktail spilling on your shirt and chest.

"Shit," Heeseung swore under his breath, happy that none of your drink or any glass from the lightbulb got on his streaming equipment.

That's when he noticed you shivering a bit, the cold liquid contrastingly with the warmth of your body.

"C-can you grab me a towel please?," you asked softly, Heeseung taking the can from your grasp and leaving the room with haste to grab a damp and dry cloth for you.

"Here," he offered when he came back, hooking his hands at the hem of your top and pulling it over your head in one swift movement, making you gasp out loud.

You were now half-naked in front of your best friend, not to mention the tons of people watching from their digital screens.

"Heeseung, what're you-"

He was now taking off his own shirt, holding it in one hand while he wiped your chest down with the cloths he held in the other.

There was something about the way his eyes looked while wiping down your boobs, coming off as romantic despite the awkward nature of the situation.

"Put this on," he whispered so quietly you almost missed it, snaking your head through the head hole of his T-shirt while he flicked the ceiling light on, your mind running in a hundred different directions in this moment.

You're not sure if it had something to do with the alcohol, but your skin still tingled in the spots where his fingertips grazed your flesh... just like old times...

You don't think you ever put on a T-shirt faster in your life, wanting to cover up as fast as you could despite how everyone had already gotten a free show from the both of you.

laylaspapi: B👀BS ?!?!? caught in 4k? just like that !?!??!????

mrloverl0ver: guess that means the games over now since y'all started stripping regardless ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

pucca_princxss: I think Heeseung's house might b haunted :'0

Chelbear03: HEESEUNGS FUCKING ABS RN- IS HE TRYING TO KILL ME !??!?

yxstar3ject: 👁👄👁

The chat was going crazy at this point, their flood of comments honestly being the last thing on your mind as you sat bottomless in Heeseung's gaming chair, wearing his T-shirt as he searched for another shirt somewhere behind you.

A billion emotions were coursing through your veins, still trying to grasp how you went from sneaking out your bedroom window, stripping in front of an audience, and getting flustered from the mere presence of Heeseung now.

"Alright guys, this was fun but we're gonna call it a night for now," Heeseung said as he came back into frame, not even bothering to sit back down as his right hand found the mouse, moving it towards the end stream button.

"Yeah, I think my streaming career might end here," you added jokingly, making Heeseung chuckle a bit at your words, his bright smile doing nothing but make your stomach flutter all over again.

What was going on with you?

"Who knows? Maybe we can work on starting an OnlyFans together ..."

"Heeseung-"

"I'm kidding," he laughed again, looking at your face from the screen, not even aware of how he bit his lip before speaking, "you look pretty on camera though, for what its worth."

The all-too familiar tune of the livestream ending rang in your ears, the screen displaying stats of the broadcast engagement, which surpassed any and every stream you've ever filmed before.

"Wow," Heeseung marveled, just as he shut his computer off.

"I know," you added, stretching your back while sitting, "we don't even reach stats like that in a week..."

"I wasn't talking about the ratings, ____," he returned, the room seeming much more quiet now that the computer was off, even though it's been this way the whole time.

"Enough about that, though," he started again, taking your hands in his to pull you out of the chair, "I haven't been a very good host to you this evening... making you work first thing before properly treating you... allow me to make up my lacking..."

"I mean... you gave me a nice seat and something to drink... you even lended me one of your shirts after I made a big mess of myself," you replied while giggling, feeling silly as he held both of your hands while speaking formally all of a sudden.

"Yes, yes, but I'm serious," he continued, now guiding you down to the rug lying in the middle of his bedroom floor, "you still like candy, right?"

ALMOST ANOTHER HOUR had passed and it was somewhere around midnight give or take, you and Heeseung hardly feeling tired as you sat on the mat together, alternating between eating orange slices and gummy bears.

You were propped up on your elbows, a glow still present on his face from the laughter you've shared together so far, even though there was something less innocent you wanted to get off your chest.

You were feeling completely reckless already, and you figured it wouldn’t hurt for you to push things a little further.

Besides, it’s not everyday that a girl like you gets an opportunity like this just placed in her lap.

It's just like Heeseung said, you'd be a fool to give up this bond you two share and not explore it further...

Plus, you weren't sure how much longer you could hide behind the good girl act.

Giselle was right: Heeseung had sex written in full length parables all up and down his six-foot-something body, and you'd be lying if you said it didn't turn you on.... if you said it didn't reel you in, like a burning desire to explore what's corrupted.

To be ruined.

"Heeseung," you started, making him look down at you as he sat with his legs crossed, hair messy from the amount of times he ran a hand through it, "can I ask you something?... It's... kinda personal..."

He popped another strawberry flavored gummy bear into his mouth, "As long as it isn't about your period, I should be good to help you then," he chuckled slightly.

"And what makes you think that I need help with something?"

"Hmm… maybe just that way that your nails keep picking with my wrist watch right now," he answered quietly, drawing your attention to your fingers which tend to get busy whenever you were nervous.

"Oh- I... I didn't even realize...," you laughed at yourself, shying your hands away before sitting up and hiding them in your lap.

"Well go on," he urged, looking back at you with warmth in his eyes, taking off his glasses and setting them aside, "What'd you wanna ask me?"

You let out a breath, clenching your thighs a bit as your sight fell between his legs.

Fuck, did he just laugh? God, he definitely noticed your peeking... you fucking perver-

"I don't really know how to word this but..." you chewed on your lip in thought, "Sometimes... when it's just you and me alone like this... even when we're just video chatting... I feel," you looked up at the ceiling as if it'd help you divulge, "I don't really know what to call it."

He blinked at your words, adjusting his sitting position on the ground, "Are there certain things I do or say that make you feel... whatever it is that you can't explain?" He asked, tilting his head at you, just as his hand inched closer to you on the rug, but not quite touching your skin yet.

"Its a few things, actually-"

"Like what?" His hand was now on your thigh, eyes glued on your shaky figure even though you avoided eye contact, lost in the veins that trailed the pretty skin of his arm.

"When you touch me," you whispered so quietly, the only reason he heard you was because he read your lips, thinking in his own mind what it'd be like to taste them, "like that."

"Speak up for me, I can hardly hear you," he urged, almost as if cooing at you.

"I can't," you said shakily, chest expanding slightly with each heavy breath you took in and let out.

Your idea of being bold was starting to backfire... if only you could stop being so awkward about this for one second-

"It's just me, ____," he whispered with a slight chuckle this time, your hands finding the fluffy rug beneath you as your skin still stung from where he'd last touched you, "be as honest with me as you need."

"Maybe it's best we just pretend I never said anything," your voice trailed off, regretting having looked into his dark eyes that stared back at yours because you felt as though your shield had faltered, his energy coaxing your mind to wander.

"Would you mind if I took a guess?," Heeseung offered with an expression you couldn't read, but you nodded anyway, just as his hand traveled further up your thigh, your breath hitching in your chest as you felt his finger tips meet your core.

"You feel something in here, don't you?," he whispered again, "Hurts, doesn't it?"

Like hunger pains, you answered in your head, finding his shoulder as half of you thought to push him away while the other half just needed to touch him.

You nodded shyly in response, thankful that he didn't move any further so you could catch your breath, already too effected by his actions.

"I feel it sometimes, too. The aching... but I'm sure you're old enough to know there's only one way to get rid of it."

You didn't even have to ask to know what he was implying, feeling tempted to give in to whatever this urge was.

He was right though. It did ache, and so badly, your own core tearing up with a need you never intended to entertain.

That's when his touch creeped closer to your core, your thighs closing around his hand as you struggled to think clearly.

You almost couldn't in a state like this.

It baffled you how the energy was starting to change, but it was only a matter of time that you'd be able to sit bottom less in front of Heeseung looking the way he does before something sexual would happen.

"Are you willing to let me help you?" He asked, gripping your flesh between his hands as a shy sound fell from your lips.

You were having second thoughts.

"As much as I'd like to, Hee, it just doesn't seem right anymore..."

Even though this was all your idea to begin with-

"But doesn't it feel right?" he pressed, feeling his hands gently pry your thighs back open, but its not like you were putting up much of a fight either, "Besides, you wouldn't have told me if you didn't want me to do something about it..."

In this moment, you couldn't care less about maintaining that fleeting sense of virtue all the elders in your life harped on growing up.

You were simply young, horny, lovesick, and in need of a release.

Before you knew it, your legs were parted for him, your back against the rug as his head got comfortable at your heat, fingers barely grazing over your now bare cunt before he started leaving plush kisses against your sweet spot.

The ache was definitely still there, but having him this close to you made it feel better.

Almost too good, honestly…

“Heeseung-” you cried out, clamming your thighs around his head as you felt his thick and warm tongue enter you.

Hooking his hands at your knees, it helped to open you back up for him, feeling your stomach tighten as he continued to lick you down.

“I’m still here, baby…” he cooed, looking back up at you, just as your phone started to ding, "relax for me, alright?"

It was a few random messages here and there, you being too pleasure-drunk to give a damn as he continued lapping at your slick, alternating between one and two fingers as he teased your hole, only making you want more.

“Fuck…s- someone’s calling me,” you whined, propping up on your elbows with tired eyes as you reached for your phone, seeing none other than Giselle's contact number as Heeseung left your core, getting on his knees and unbuckling his belt.

"What're you-"

Your words were cut off as he leaned closer into you, his bulge resting in between your folds as he looked into your eyes and said, "Answer it."

He was already rocking against your pussy as you struggled to stay focused, his boxers being covered in your slick just from how wet you'd gotten, even though you nodded no.

“You want me to help you, don’t you?” He continued, completely aware of your stalling and hesitance as the phone continued to ring, your breathing only getting heavier as he kept grinding against you.

You bit your lip, clenching around nothing as his fingers cascaded over your sensitive spot. Heeseung practically drooled at the sight, your tight little cunt all slick and messy for him.

"Hello?" Giselle asked over the phone, "where the hell are you right now?"

Fuck.

You watched nervously as Heeseung pulled his boxers past his hips, his thickness springing up now that it was finally free to breathe.

"What're you talking about, I was just in my room," you lied terribly, watching Heeseung with pleading eyes as he lined himself up with your entrance, bracing a hand on you lower abdomen while glaring back at you, a glint of playfulness in his doe eyes.

Oh, the way you wanted to smack him across his pretty face right now-

"I wasn't born yesterday, ____. I checked your room an hour ago and you're still not here. Tell me where you are," she continued, voice cracking a bit as you winced through a bitten lip, thanks to Heeseung somehow having slid his thickness inside you.

Well, most of the way, at least...

"____?"

"Y-yes, I'm listening, just- don't worry about me, I'll be back in a bit-"

"That still doesn't answer my question, ____..."

Thud.

You accidentally dropped your phone beside your head once Heeseung pushed all the way in now, leaving a few kisses along your neck to help you calm down.

His hips were still, but for some reason, your breathing remained shaky beneath him, your step-sister still awaiting your reply on the other side of the phone.

"Call you later," you said in a squeaky voice, reaching over to hang up the phone as Heeseung started to move again, your legs trembling a bit as the nerves in your mind traveled through your whole body.

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" He asked sarcastically, hand following a trail from your waist, over your boob, then to your neck, goosebumps sprouting on your skin as you suddenly felt cold, your body internally shivering.

"Hee," you said with a whimper, feeling his grip loosen around your neck before he started thrusting into your walls, your slick providing just enough lubrication for him to slide in and out easily.

You couldn't even think in your mind at this point, his actions already becoming more than you could handle given how new everything was.

How nice he felt.

"C'mon, don't get quiet on me now, baby, I just started," he teased, slamming his pelvis against yours to hopefully reel a moan out of you, which obviously worked, your hand flying up to grip the fluffy rug over your head as it became harder to hide your sounds.

He hissed at the feeling of you clenching around him, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he looked into your eyes.

"So either you like it when I'm rough with you or when I call you baby..." he started in a low voice, "which is it?"

"M-maybe both... now can you stop trying to turn me on with your words for one fucking second?," you asked with labored breaths, feeling your orgasm creep up on you a lot sooner than anticipated.

Sure, this was your first time, but you were glad he didn't treat you like a baby during the whole thing.

There was just something about the way his voice sounded in this moment, the way he was rutting into you like a horny teenager that took you over the edge.

And he was being such a tease, trying to make you talk knowing that your sentences would be broken and whiney thanks to how rough he was going.

He wanted to hear you falling apart underneath him.

He let out the most attractive chuckle you'd ever heard at your words, "But I can tell it's working," he smirked, bracing himself against the floor so you could wrap your legs around him better, "now quit your complaining and keep taking me like a good girl, alright?"

You're sure your clit started doing backflips at the pet-name, coupled with the pretty sounds he was very intentionally humming beneath your ear.

He found your wrists on the rug, sliding up to your hands and interlacing his fingers with yours,

“Stop trying to act tough, I can tell this is all new to you…. don’t even know what to do with your hands, huh?” his said, watching as your eyes get lost in the view of his shaggy hair.

He snickered, “you can touch it if you want…”

Fuck, you thought to yourself. You don’t know why you felt the need to put on some act for him… maybe it was because you assumed a competition between yourself and other girls he’s been with, even though in reality, you’d been the only girl on his mind for a while now.

“I…,” you started with a stutter, “I can’t.”

Your fingers were still interlaced with his, but your inability to touch him had less to do with the fact that he had you pinned down, and more so to do with your nerves.

As badly as he wanted to keep toying with your head in this moment, he could you were getting closer from how your breath kept hitching, so he didn’t have much time to play.

Releasing his grip from your hands, he brought a thumb to your chin, tapping at it for you to open your mouth, “I’m gonna speed up now then, okay?”

He choked out, his own head becoming a little fuzzy as you parted your lips obediently for him, the sight of your tongue laving at his fingers being enough to make him feel like cumming.

He knew you had to get home quick now, but he still wanted to give you the best orgasm of your life.

Once he collected enough of your spit on his fingers, he slid his hand down, circling your swollen bud while looking into your eyes, your hands automatically flying to his shoulders to brace yourself.

“Fuck, Heeseung~,” you cursed with furrowed brows, whimpers that almost sounded like high pitched hiccups falling from your lips as you felt your hips chase his.

There was so much energy coursing through both of your bodies that it could charge your dying phone on the floor right now.

“It’s okay baby, you’re almost- shit, you’re almost there,” he grunted weakly as he continued fucking into your walls with his fingers at your clit, his own eyes closing at how good your tightness felt around him.

You never heard yourself sound like this before, getting all whiny just as he whispered the words “Come for me” against your neck, sealing the space with a kiss and retreating his hand from your core, holding you in place as your orgasm hit like a flood.

You were squirming so much, walls pulsating like a drum as he kissed you down, your hands finally being brave enough to grip at his hair while he rode out your high.

You could tell that he didn’t finish inside you, but he was nice enough to slow down and not fuck you completely stupid.

“I can’t even believe we just did that,” you mumbled mindlessly, eyes staring back at him as he started to gently caressed your cheek.

“Wasn’t too bad for a quickie though, right?,” he asked jokingly while still inside you, not quite yet ready to pull out of your comforting warmth.

To say goodbye to the you he brought out in this sex-filled space.

“No… it wasn’t bad at all,” you smiled back, words sounding somewhere in between a shocking realization and sincere compliment.

“Then I guess that means we can look forward to doing this more often-”

“Heeseung-”

“Kidding,” he whispered softly, meeting your lips in one last kiss before leaning back up to adjust his pants, “now let’s get you cleaned up and ready for home before your mom has me crucified.”

“Okay,” you said while laughing slightly until he pulled out of you, your legs trembling a bit from the missing fullness.

From the feeling in his chest, Heeseung came to fully accept that he was 110% in love with you, not giving a flying fuck about the naysayers who’d disapprove of your now-even-more-complicated friendship.

You on the other hand, came to realize that Heeseung was worth much more than being judged by a bunch of hypocrites, and that you now had the courage to make a lot of your own decisions now, even if they’re solely for the sake of pleasure.

”Still,” you continued, watching as he stood up from the ground to grab a pack of wipes from his desk, “I just remembered that I locked my bedroom window when I left.”

“That’s a good thing, right?” He asked while parting your legs, wiping your sweaty thighs down with your panties hunched up in his other hand.

You admired the view of him cleaning you up with adoration flooding your heart, your limbs letting themselves relax as feathery words fell from your lips, “It means I might have to spend the night at your place for a little longer…”

Fin…

♱ Thank you beyond words to everyone reading this right now! I teased the release of this fic a while ago but ended up changing almost everything that I’d originally written because it was kinda shitty 🥴 but hopefully you all enjoyed this fic anyway! Also, masterlist is here !!

♱ tag list: @fakeuwus @adeoluhh @zerasari @anonant @yaatrickyaaa @depressedandobsessed666 @woninluv @moonshoon @imjakes-wifeofc1 @heesbee @kaykay11sworld @wannieepisod @ilikekpop-c @heesoo11 @idkdykilr @seungjiseyo @nctislifue @ro-diaries @heesushiii @jakehooni @babygirlmarshmellow @jaysdze @princeseung @flowerbe0m @skzenhalove @rayofsunshineeee @wonsbaer @namdeyuoi @tasnim10 @cheruluv @squoxle @nikisvanillaccola @wonbinisbabygurl @addictedtohobi @yourmomscuntis2tighy @ashgonedash

[kindestofkings]

what came first, the chicken or the dickhead? [3/3]

[smau]

f1driver!reader x lando norris

authors note: book a dentist app guys this shit is sweet !

yourusername 

liked by landonorris and others 

yourusername 😭 🥺 guys I, I, I just won at my home race with my best friend alongside me. those two kids dreamed of days like these. lan you next 💓

to the tifosi for your unyielding support, to scuderiaferrari for helping me achieve things like this, and to charlie the best teammate a girl could ask for <3

view all 890 comments

landonorris so proud of you luv but PLEASE let me win soon, we dont need another max situation

yourusername lando tries to be sentimental challenge: FAILED f1fan hahahaha mate please grow up and make a move !

danielricciardo incredible stuff mate! landonorris you were so cute, what happened?

landonorris ha ha ha 😑

​​taylorswift you are killing it girl !! I see you're stateside later this year maybe you could join us at the era's tour?

yourusername 😀😀😀 I need someone to confirm this is real, landooooooooo landonorris its real so please stop hyperventilating in you drivers room alex_albon do you forget you have millions of followers and a mega superstar yourself?? yourusername and what she's TAYLOR SWIFT. she writes works of art like folklore and i drive in circles. alex_albon AT A VERY INSANE SPEED learn your worth please ynfan1 you did so well with him lilymhe

maxfewtrell you know what they say couples who win together stay together !

[this comment has been deleted]

ynfan2 max you are not quick enough for me I saw that 👀👀

taylorswiftupdates

liked by ynlando4ever and others

taylorswiftupdates after a long time of online interactions the f1 ferrari driver yourusername was at tonights show!! it appears the driver was joined with fellow drivers lando norris,charles leclerc and daniel ricciardo.

view all 20 comments

ynfan1 can you imagine your favourite singer of all time making that face at you 🥺

ynfan2 and she got one of tonights secret song dedicated to her aswell!!

ynfan3 no way really!! what was it ynfan2 it was randomly Crazier, the song taylor sang in the hannah montana film 😂

landonorris

 liked by yourusername and others 

landonorris hope you enjoyed your birthday cause you're never receiving another birthday present again. why WHY is your favourite taylor swift song so obscure??

view all 300 comments

yourusername you are the best of the best of the best of the BEST

​​taylorswift you guys are the most adorable 🥺

charles_leclerc cause shes a country girl at heart come you know this 😂

yourusername ahem country girls shake it for me 🤠

ynlando4ever GUYS HE GOT TAYLOR TO SING HER FAVOURITE SONG THEY ARE IN LOVE!!!!

yourusername posted on their story:

eras tour READY

I lied nothing could've prepared me for this ....

replies

taylorswift so glad you could come and enjoy 💓💓 that boy of yours is such a cutie.. yourusername he's a keeper for sure! hate keeping it all so secretive but like someone amazing once sang romance is not dead if you keep it just yours 😂 ❤️

yourusername

 liked by landonorris and others

yourusername I dont do tiktok but I love the its all too much for little lando norris cause he falls asleep during my taylor swift rants 😤

view all 700 comments

landonorris EHHHHH DONT THINK YOU MEANT THAT LAST ONE RIGHT BABE?

ynfan1 BABE?? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THE HOUSE OF COMMENTS yourusername oh fuck lan landonorris HA and you said it be me who would out us ynfan2 US? theres an us??

yncharlesshipper what happened to charlie??

ynlando4ever VICTORY

danielricciardo hahahahahah wait why does norizz look kinda ??

landonorris you can say it 😏😏

yourusername OKAY Y'ALL CAUGHT ME WE'RE NOT JUST FRIENDS! SHOOT ME LOOK AT HIM!!!

landonorris LOOK AT YOUUUUU ynfan1 k im obsessed with them even more now

landonorris

liked by yourusername and others

landonorris since she messed up I can FINALLY show off how I got the girl 2 years ago 😎

happy to announce i'm accepting apologises for all those norizz comments cause LOOK at who's my girl

view all 500 comments

yourusername thats right baby your girl !!

maxfewtrell FINALLY

danielricciardo agreed, and you're never hearing anything from me norizz alex_albon still in shock carlossainz55 can relax now, yn is scary

charles_leclerc we got there eventually! looking forward to not being shipped with you now yourusername 😂😂

yourusername I don't know what you're talking about I'm a catch!

yourusername

 liked by mclaren and others

yourusername car failures are a teams worse nightmare and unfortunately my hard truth for today's race in Singapore 💔 being ruled out during the formation lap is something I hope to never experience again, so sorry for disappointing everyone and the team!

ON ANOTHER NOTE its time for a hardlaunch cause LOOK WHO JUST GOT HIS FIRST WIN! congrats bro 😎 👍❤️‍🔥 💖

view all 290 comments 

scuderiaferrari could never disappointment, we win as a team and lose as a team!

yourusername you guys xx ynfan1 the teams support never fails to make me emosh, all you that deserve!!

f1fan still a slay in my eyes!

landonorris the use of bro here is conflicting to all the pride driven kisses i've been getting 🤔🤔

f1fanupdates

liked by f1fan1 and others

f1fanupdates gasly is once again providing all the drama for the viewers! after another dnf the alphatauri driver made a jab at mclaren's first driver, lando norris...

view all 90 comments

f1fan1 why have one feud with a driver when you can have 2!! right pierre?

ynfan2 man is just realising he can't blame yn anymore so he's picking on lando

ynfan3 do you think its all related? like continuous beef that all links back to her?

landonorris

liked by yourusername and others

landonorris the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake

japan its been real!

view all 473 comments

pierregasly imagine being this cocky all while being overshadowed by your rookie teammate

landonorris imagine ruining your own career because a girl told you she didn't want to go out with you pierregasly if shes going out with the likes of you, think I dodged a bullet landonorris do you or do you not have a girlfriend rn? yourusername enough of this. pierre you are a broken record stfu and focus on your driving

ynfan1 OH MY GOD its all clicking, all this mess cause of a bruised ego...

ynfan2 men being men ugh

yourusername tay tay 🥺🥺 in your caption 🥺 love you

landonorris and the edit! i want all the brownie points baby 😏

danielricciardo MY EX-MAN BROUGHT HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND SHE'S LIKE

yourusername "OH MY GOD," BUT I'M JUST GONNA SHAKE IT charles_leclerc AND TO THE FELLA OVER THERE WITH THE HELLA GOOD HAIR maxverstappen1 WON'T YOU COME ON OVER, BABY? WE CAN SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE landonorris wow wdc winner with the taylor swift lyrics in my comments??

ynfan1 OH MY GOD its all clicking, all this mess cause of a bruised ego...

yourusername posted on their story:

my man my man my man 💓

landonorris where gasly wishes he could be 👀 landonorris love love love you

AHH I hope this was worth the wait guys!! the beef is so squashed in but I was consumed be the full by then lol

-finished-

[3/3]

taglist:

@vellicoranorca @toasttt11 @dzastinocha @dzastinocha @landosgirlxoxo @2bormaybenot @jpg3 @celestialams @dreamsarebig @dreamercrowd @dracosswhore @kissesandmartinis @inejismywife

weirdly couldnt tag everyone sorry !!

[mentally-a-slut]

Three Days (Arthur Morgan x Fem! Reader) (SMUT)

Anddddd here we are! Part two of 'Staring Problem'! This can be read as a stand alone, but if you want a suggestive lead up, then go read part one! I tried my best with this one, but I haven't written explicit smut like this in a long time, so go easy on me! Writing this also reminded me that I loathe writing in second person, so from here on out I think I'll either do first or third. I won't bore you with details here, but I'll put up a separate post updating y'all on some stuff. Anyway, enjoy, and please leave feedback! Silent readers are appreciated but leaving comments helps me get motivated to continue! Even just a one word comment or an emoji helps! - Azi >:)

Summary: Arthur's been gone on a job for three days, which isn't a new development. However, a new development in your relationship just before he left leave you wanting. But fear not, as your troubles will be soon solved!

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: unprotected PinV sex, smut, oral (f receiving), overall filth, reader is female, unedited (sorry), probably OOC Arthur but we're here for dick not character analysis!

You had always hated when Arthur went away on jobs, but ever since he left you hanging, your distaste for his long absences had grown.

You hadn't seen the man in three days, only getting a parting kiss and a heavy, heated promise as a farewell. The first day he was gone, you were mostly in awe of what had happened, wistfully going about your day and daydreaming of things to come.

The second day left you a little frustrated, the ache for him only growing with his absence. The other girls had noticed too, only making you more irritable as they teased you relentlessly for your obvious attitude change.

The third day was when you started to get worried. He'd been gone on longer jobs than this before, but you still couldn't help the nervous bouncing of your leg as you sat across from Tilly, trying to busy yourself with patching up some clothes.

"I'm sure he's fine. He's been gone much longer than this before."

Your lips contorted into a line, eyebrows knitted as you shook off the pain of the needle piercing the soft pad of your thumb. "I know. Just miss him, I guess."

Tilly just smiled and let you work in silence alongside her.

Arthur had gone to rob some stagecoach close to Emerald Ranch, along with Javier and Micah. You trusted Javier to help bring him back safely, but the addition of Micah made you nervous. He had a reputation of losing his cool and endangering the lives of everyone in a five mile radius.

Abigail had been very helpful the last couple of days. She understood every minor shift in your demeanor in the time he was gone. John was no stranger to long jobs, so Abigail knew exactly how it felt to sit idle while the men were out in danger.

John tried to be helpful, saying things about how Arthur had been bled half to death before and still made it back alive, but that only made things worse. You appreciated the effort, though.

It was getting close to evening now, the light of the sun slowly disappearing behind the horizon. You tried not to feel disappointed, knowing that if they were on the way back, they would likely stop and make camp for another night before arriving. Riding at night was never good unless they were on the way to a job. Riding back during the day was safer, and helped them keep an eye out for any witnesses or general hinderances along the way.

Just as you were about to resign yourself to your lonely bedroll for the night, the sound of rumbling hooves shook the ground under your feet.

You whipped your head around to see three healthy horses slowing to a walk near the hitch posts, each one carrying an upright, unharmed figure. You silently cursed the fact that Micah had made it back alive, but figured it was too much to hope that you'd get Arthur back and get rid of Micah in one day.

You didn't care what it looked like to the others, throwing all cares out as you rushed over to greet the man that had been haunting your thoughts for the last three days. He was just finishing up tying his big black shire to the post, taking the weight off his horse for the night, when you tackled him into a hug.

He stumbled slightly, your arms wrapping tightly around his waist as he snaked an arm around yours to steady himself. His breath tickled the top of your head as he chuckled. "Miss me?"

You scoffed and pulled your head from his chest, still gripping the sides of his jacket as you looked up at him. "You were gone three days!"

He smiled down at you and pulled you back against him, settling his other hand to cradle your head against his chest. "I missed you too, sweetheart."

All of a sudden, he withdrew, his eyes landing on the man a few feet away that was tending to his horse. "Javier!"

He turned. "Yeah, Arthur?"

"Tell Dutch me and my lady are goin' on a little vacation for a while, will ya?"

Javier nodded with a smirk, and you shrieked as Arthur lifted you onto his horse without warning. He followed shortly after, kicking his horse into a fast walk as a few wolf whistles resounded from camp.

You held onto his waist tightly as he sped up. "Where are we goin'?"

"Just into town."

"What are we gonna do there so late at night?"

You felt more than heard his responding chuckle. "Get a room."

"Oh. Oh."

The excitement that tingled through your body was electric, buzzing the whole ride there.

~~~~~~

You would have flustered at the knowing look on the hotel receptionist's face if you had been at all aware of anything but Arthur.

Arthur thanked the man before leading you up the stairs to the room, his large hand gripping yours the whole way there. You expected him to jump straight into action the second the door closed behind you, but instead his strong arms pulled you into a hug.

His arms encircled you and pressed you against him as he nestled his face into your neck. The vibration of his words against your neck sent sparks through your body straight to your core. "Thought about you the whole time."

You sighed into him, holding onto his as if he would disintegrate upon letting go. He only pulled back to gently tilt your chin up, pressing a sweet kiss against your lips.

The kiss was so soft, so filled with emotion, his fingers brushing lovingly across your cheek as your lips molded together. You were the one to lean into it, chapped lips parting and teeth nipping lightly at him.

The responding noise from him fueled your desire more, the desperate groan making your whole body ache for his touch. His hands moved from your waist to your hips, fingers bunching up in the fabric of your shirt as he fought your tongue with his.

When his rough fingers brushed against the bare skin of your waist, you whined into the kiss, arching into him. He chuckled against your lips, brushing his hands even further up your shirt and coming to a stop just under your tits.

You broke the kiss just for a moment to lift your shirt over your head, discarding it wildly behind you. You yelped as he lifted you and spun you around, walking you backwards towards the bed. You tugged him down on top of you, slipping a hand under his shirt to feel to ripples of muscle on his chest and stomach.

"Arthur," you whined, tugging at his shirt. He got the hint, discarding his shirt before meeting your lips again. His kiss was rougher this time, wet and messy as he took in the feeling of your body against his. You brought your legs up to circle around his waist, and you whimpered when he pressed his hips forward against yours, his hardened cock straining against his pants.

You tangled your hands in his hair, tugging lightly. He squeezed your hips in response, kissing down your neck and nipping at the skin on your chest.

His hands snaked around your back, undoing your bra without even pausing. He broke the kiss only when he pulled the straps down, revealing your chest to the open air. Your first instinct was to cover yourself, but he didn't even give you the chance.

You didn't have the brain capacity to be embarrassed at the sound that came out of you when he took a nipple into his mouth, gripping the other with his large hand. He groaned against you, his erection brushing against you. He was growing harder by the second, the mere sight of you arousing him intensely.

His unoccupied hand stroked down your stomach, slipping two fingers in the waistband of your pants. You nodded and begged desperately, writhing against him. "Please! Please, Arthur..."

He moved his lips to your other nipple, quickly unbuttoning your pants and ridding you of both them and your panties in one movement. His lips separated from your chest as he moved up to you, staring into your eyes with intense lust. "I'm gonna get you ready, baby, that okay?"

Your heart swelled with emotion, only intensifying your desire. Even when he was desperate with lust, he looks at you with such caring, always making sure your okay. "Yes, yes, please!"

He smiled at you before kissing you sweetly, slowly kissing down your body. You whined as his hot breath brushed your core, your head tilting up to look at him between your legs.

His eyes glittered with amusement as they met yours, a teasing finger brushing your inner thigh. It was so close to where you needed it, but so far. "You're a tease."

He chuckled, "Can't help it when you look so pretty beggin' for me."

You threw your head back and groaned, half in frustration and half in arousal. Your noise quickly shifted to a whine when he suddenly slid a finger across you folds, head fuzzy with pleasure. "So wet already. All for me, sweetheart?"

You groaned and nodded, hips shifting towards him in an attempt to get him to do it again. "Ah, use your words."

Your words were half whimpered. "Yes! All for you, only for you, please!"

"Good girl."

He swiped his finger through your folds again, this time teasing his fingertip around your aching entrance. You bucked against him when his thumb brushed against your clit, breathing coming out in short, whiny sighs. "Please."

"Whatever you say, baby."

You moaned as a finger slid into you, his thumb pressing harder against your clit. Before you could complain at the lose of stimulation when he removed his thumb, his lips connected and sucked harshly. Your moans were surely loud enough to be heard, but the pleasure that wracked your body was so overwhelming you couldn't bring yourself to care.

His finger slowly moved in and out, brushing against your sensitive walls as his tongue assaulted your clit. You tangled a hand in his hair, tugging harder than you intended. He groaned against you, making a jolt of pleasure shoot through you.

The stretch of another finger was added, making you cry out. It wasn't enough to be painful, just enough to make you stretch around him so deliciously. He pulled his lips off of you and looked down at you, eyes hungrily watching as your cunt swallowed up his fingers. You looked down at him, lips parted with pleasure as he worked his fingers inside you. "More."

He glanced up at you with a smirk, slipping in a third finger. It sent a small jolt of discomfort through you, but it was quickly overwhelmed with pleasure as the third finger pressed against the most sensitive parts of your walls. "Oh, fuck, Arthur!"

"Feel good, huh?"

"Yes! Please, please, I'm gonna cum!"

He sped up, his fingers pumping in and out of your relentlessly. He leaned back in to swirl his tongue against your clit, which made you walls start spasming around him. Your thighs tensed, threatening to close around him, but he pulled back and held your legs open.

"Go on, baby, I wanna see your pretty face when you cum."

You couldn't form any words as his fingertips curled inside you and prodded against you in a way that made you see stars. His encouraging words only pushed you closer and closer.

"Good girl, doin' so good for me." You moaned and clenched around his fingers, muscles spasming as the dam broke. Your eyes rolled back into your head as you came, short, whiny moans escaping your lips as he fingered you through it.

With a gentle kiss against your clit that made you twitch, he pulled his fingers out of you and rose to look at you. You forced your eyes open, smiling breathlessly up at him. "You okay?"

You couldn't help but laugh, pulling him in for a passionate kiss. "More than okay. That was amazing."

He smiled and kissed you again, slow and loving. You knew you could tell him you were done for the night and he would agree in a heartbeat, not even caring about his own unresolved desires. But his sweet kiss only fueled another spark, already tingling through your body. His moaned against your lips as you arched against him, legs moving to wrap around his waist and pull him against you.

He pulled away with a raised eyebrow. "You're a needy one, aren't you?"

"Only for you."

You pulled him back down, kissing him roughly and pressing your hands all over his bare skin. His hips bucked forward when you tugged at his waistband, his desperation shining through even when he tried to stifle it.

You pushed him back, catching him off guard and shoving him onto the bed. He chuckled and shifted further back, letting you swing your leg across his hips and straddle him. You leaned down to kiss down his neck, smiling at the soft murmurs of content as you nipped at his collarbone.

You reached between the two of you, unbuttoning his jeans and shoving them down. He helped you and kicked them the rest of the way off, leaving him in only his boxers. You stared down at the bulge that strained against the white fabric, a wet spot of pre cum soaking a part of it. You looked down at him with a proud smile. "I do that to you?"

His hands slid up your thighs and caressed you hips. "You do so much to me. More than you could ever imagine."

You leaned down to kiss him, pouring all your emotions of admiration and lust into it. His hands moved to your ass, squeezing as he groaned against your lips. Your hips pressed down against his. sending a shock of pleasure through you as your clit brushed against his clothed bulge.

He would have been content to kiss you like that forever, but you were growing more and more desperate with each touch. You slid your fingers into his boxers without breaking the kiss, gently stroking his cock. His reaction spurred you on, and you pushed his boxer down to release him.

You marveled at his size as he helped you discard his underwear, leaving him fully bare underneath you. He was thick, and longer than anyone else you'd ever had. Your hand continued to slowly stroke up and down his shaft, thumb smearing the beads of precum around him. You were transfixed on him, lost in the feeling of his soft skin against your palm.

"Fuck, baby, as pretty as you look doin' that, I don't wanna cum just yet."

You slowed your movements to a stop and looked up at him with a soft smile. The admiration you felt for the man beneath you was overwhelming, and you didn't know if you could ever truly explain to him how much he meant to you.

You slowly moved to kiss him again, soft and sweet. You let your hips relax against his, smirking as his hips shifted under you to gain friction. You moved your hips against his shaft, your cunt dragging against him. You continued grinding on him, breathing growing heavier as the tip of his cock teased at your entrance with each movement.

After a few more seconds of torturing him, you lifted your hips and gripped his cock, prodding him against you entrance. Before you moved, you pulled away from his kiss, sitting up and placing a hand on his chest for balance. He groaned as he looked up at you, poised above his cock, cunt dripping with anticipation.

Emotion shone in his eyes, gaze still so loving even when clouded with lust. With a sigh, you lowered yourself slightly, taking his tip inside. You knew it was going to be a stretch, so you had to restrain yourself and take it slow.

He groaned at the sight of your cunt swallowing him, even just the tip of him. You held his gaze as you lowered another two inches, fingers gripping his chest at the slight stretch. Soon, his hands gripped your hips tightly as he helped you sink down all the way, clit brushing against him as you were finally fully seated against his pelvis.

Your eyes were dark with lust, cunt clenching around his cock as you adjusted. His eyes flickered over you, rapidly moving between your joined bodies, your heaving chest, and your face. "So perfect. Take me so well."

His words spurred you to move, lifting your hips slightly and moaning sweetly as you sank back down. The pain of the stretch had completely disappeared, replaced with a blinding pleasure. You rolled your hips a few more times before rising further, speeding up.

His hands held your hips tightly, his thighs tensing as he tried to hold himself back. "Fuck, sweetheart, look at you. Swallowing me up like that."

His words only increased your desire, your hips rising and falling faster, legs lifting you further off his cock. His moaned as he stuttered out praises, hands tightening on your hips as you rose fully off him and slammed back down again. Your pace increased, his length filling you up perfectly and brushing against the sensitive spots within you.

You struggled to hold yourself as you got closer and closer, pace faltering. You whined, every breath coming out as a soft moan. "You're doin' so good baby, want me to take over?"

You managed a messy nod, and his hips immediately rose up to meet yours, hands moving your hips up and down on him. You threw your head back as your cunt spasmed, orgasm coming down hard and fast. "I'm- fuck! Gonna cum!"

"Go 'head baby, I've got you."

With his words, you moaned with your release, his cock still pounding into you as you rode it out. Your senses were fuzzy, everything covered in a blanket of pleasure. You didn't even realize he had flipped you over, your head against the soft pillow. As your vision cleared, you looked up at him, blissful smile on your face.

"You did so good, honey, think you can gimme another?"

You nodded blearily, spreading your legs further as he continued thrusting into at a ruthless pace. You were building up to another one fast, barely even recovered from your previous one. His hand rested against your throat, grounding you but not squeezing. "So gorgeous, my pretty girl. Look so good stuffed full of my cock."

You moaned pathetically, hands going up to hold his face and grip his hair. "You feel so good, Arthur, I- I love how you make me feel."

He groaned in response, slamming into your cunt even faster. "So tight for me, gonna make me cum. Where d'ya want me?" He struggled to get the question out, his voice stammering through moans.

"Inside. Fill me up, Arthur."

His hand tightened around your throat for a moment at your words, and he moaned loudly. "Fuck, you're gonna kill me."

His movements grew sloppier, fingers pressing against your throat as he pressed his lips to yours in a messy kiss. With a few more thrusts, your own orgasm came to a head, only slightly preceding his.

His groaned against your lips and your walls clenched around him, his cum painting your insides as you milked him. He fucked you through it, kiss growing softer as he slowed to a stop. He stilled inside you, pulling back to look in your eyes.

You looked back at him, lips curled into a soft smile as he rested his forehead against yours. He pulled out carefully, planting a sweet kiss on your lips to distract you from any discomfort.

He shifted to lay next to you, turning his head to look at you. "You okay?"

You smiled and looked at him. "With you? Always."

[foone]

We build bases on the moon. Colonize the planets of the gas giants, terraform Mars and Venus, build orbital habitats around everything with enough gravity to hold it up. We invent FTL, and send ships named after dreams to every star we have cataloged. We have rulebooks and plans and endless ideas of what we do when finally we meet another spacefairing race, but it never happens. We don't hail any vulcan cruisers above the skies of Epsilon Eridani and get in no laser battles with a star destroyer in the scarlet light of Wolf 359. No one responds to our endless messages sent to the heavens.

Life? We find that everywhere. If a rock is big enough to hold onto enough atmosphere, we find something growing there. Maybe just a moss or some protokarotic slime, but there'll be something growing there. We spend centuries cataloging the flora and fauna (and everything in between) of a million stars, and never meet anyone who can say hello back.

Not yet at least. In the unending sunset of the Mu Herculis system there's the Peterson's Mermaids who are just developing language and starting on metallurgy. The vampires of Fomalhaut b have begun to write down numbers, and we expect them to have a full language sometime within the next hundred thousand years. There's no animal life on Gliese 499 d, but we have reason to suspect the clonal organism inhabiting most of the northern forest is verging on sapience. And we don't even have time to get into the theory that 55 Cancri B (the red dwarf orbiting the star Copernicus) is a living being in it's own right.

There's plenty of life to study. Lots to learn. But we never meet anyone we can greet in friendship, and there's no star gods out here in the black. We've looked everywhere.

Humanity takes decades to come to terms with the reality of the situation. But we do, of course. We can't give up now.

We searched endlessly for the ancient aliens with all the answers, who built hyperspace portal networks before our sun even burnt, and couldn't find them. We settled for locating our brothers and sisters amongst the stars, another race that had fought their way up from the trees and into the stars, and couldn't find them either.

We always dreamed of finding a parent we could look up to, or a sibling we could share the sky with. They weren't there.

Humanity settles into their role. It wasn't what we hoped for, but we'll be the big brother/big sister to the life of the universe. Not the parent, no. We didn't create them, and we don't control them, but we'll protect them. We'll help them when they fall, and let them make their own mistakes when they need to. But we're here to be the role model and the helper and the partner in crime, the one we wanted but never had.

We keep searching, of course. And our observers on a thousand planets report that there are hints of an ancient race, older than writing, mentioned in the myths of endless cultures. Gods from the skies who stopped the flood, who ended the plague, who taught them to plant a new crop, who stopped the war just as the bombs began to fall, and who led them to a new land when the star began to flare.

We investigate these rumors and myths and stories, just in case we missed the Ancients we always wanted to find. But at the heart of these stories, there's always a description of the helpers: bipedal, two arms, two eyes, no fur, no wings. And if the species has developed art and writing, there'll often be a drawing of a figure, standing alongside a local god or great leader, and nearby the legend will read "humans".

Art historians and religious studies scholars are amused at how often they give us halos. Someone even suggests redesigning our force-suit geometry to reinforce the impression, but cooler heads prevail. We're not doing this for praise or worship. We're doing this because no one could do it for us.

Millenia later after we've been joined among the stars by our sibling races, a mermaid and a vampire are idly chatting while they wait for their turn through the portal network around Fornax A. "What drove the humans to do all this? Why did they take it upon themselves to search every corner of the universe and decide to protect and shelter and guide the many younger races of the stars?". The mermaid shrugs, which is hard to do without shoulders. "I think they just wanted friends."

The vampire looks out the observation window, at the thousands of ships from hundreds of spacefairing races, waiting in line or jumping through phase gates to the other side of the cosmos. "Well, they've got them now."

There's a beep from a console, and a warning light activates as the ship accelerates towards a shimmering gate. Our children play among the stars, without fear of the dark. There's no monsters there, we checked. There's only us.

[luna0713hunter]

Can I request cheek kisses with Luffy, but like platonic? Like, they aren’t biological related, but they act a lot like sibling and give each other platonic cheek kisses?

Author's not : this is such a cute idea!hope you like it!

You'll always be my best friend

Monkey d.Luffy x platonic!reader

Summary : you always wished for a sibling growing up,but when you grow up with Luffy by your side and later join his crew,you understand you always had a brother by your side.

Warnings : absolutely none!,platonic reader and Luffy,friends who act like siblings , childhood friends

*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘

When you hear Nami's shout from behind you,you and Luffy share a mischief glance before starting to run for your lives.

You knew Luffy since you were young.

Ever since you remember,you always wanted a sibling. Someone you could play with and do adventures alongside. So when you met Luffy one day,up on a three munching on fruits,you particularly became attached at hips.

Luffy dreamed big,ever since your childhood days. He dreamed of becoming the pirate king;of becoming someone worthy of Shanks' crew. And when he shared that dream with you under a blanket in your hiding spot inside Shank's ship,you knew you would live by his side and help him achieve that dream.

"Luffy!y/n!! I swear to god when i catch you two -!"

Luffy laughs by your side and as you fist bump him,you jump behind Sanji to protect yourselves from a very angry Nami. Sanji balances a tray of drinks in his hands with practice and lets out a small yelp. He sighs in relief when the glass dont fall down and break,and looks from you two to Nami and up to Nami's hair.

"What the-"

"they colored my hair!"

There's the sound of another pair of footsteps as Zoro climbs up the stairs;having woke up from his nap by the commotion.

"whats all the yelling abou-Whoa."

And when Usopp pops his head from between the doors,his mouth hangs open.

"i knew you and Zoro were related!!"

"Shut up,Usopp!!" Nami combs his now green hair with frustrated fingers and suddenly she's taking out a small pocket knife.

"I'm going to kill you two."

Sanji holds up his tray of drinks and steps backwards slightly.

"now now,no need for violence, Madame."

"step back if you dont wanna get killed either."

You look toward at Luffy from behind Sanji's strong form and giggle.

"she looks just like Zoro!"

"i know right?!your plan was brilliant!!"

"uh,guys," Sanji whisper/yells, "i suggest you two start running."

And when Nami lunged forward,you two jump and run for your lives.

Its a while before the two of you can hide from Nami. You try to sit comfortably behind the many supply boxes and grin when Luffy offers you half a tangerine. You much on the juicy fruit, groaning upon the sweet taste and look at the young boy sitting comfortably beside you.

"it was fun. But i think we're in danger for a few days."

"yeah. I think Nami's gonna kill us in our sleep."

The thought of Nami's green hair has you two stifling your giggles again. Luffy leans in,and presses his sticky-tangerine lips to your cheek,making you squeal while giggling loudly.

"dude!!you got tangerine juice all over me!"

And when Luffy laughs loudly,you jump on him and push him back on the floor,so while wrestling,try to kiss his cheeks to make them sticky as well.

The two of you fall asleep together like that.

Just like your childhood days,where the safest place was in Luffy's brother like embrace.

[starberry-cupcake]

Me reading this book is like trying to pin things to a cork board with red thread but the things I'm trying to pin down are fog and they vanish before I can grasp them.

Here's a visual representation of me finishing a chapter:

previously, in harrowbeenie the ninth:

this happened

currently, after chapter 5 (you're gonna have to be patient with this one):

we're moving back and forth between the second and third person

knowing now the content of the letters that yandere twin had talked about in the prologue, it makes some sense

but we aren't there yet

I need to point out something I don't think I specified enough last time

ice cube barbie changed eyes

people be changin' eyes here

she used to have eyes like harrow and now she has, and I quote: "ever since you had writhed in Lyctoral agony, her eyes had turned a yellow that made you dizzy to behold: a bronzed, hot, animal yellow, as amber as the inside of an egg"

this is from gideon's last ch.: "Gideon's eyes, as they always did, startled her: their deep, chromatic amber, the startling hot gold of freshly-brewed tea"

just gonna leave that there

but now, moving forward...or backwards to ch. 3 flashback of sorts

we got a recap of most of the events we knew, but in a gideon-less ver.

I'm gonna also point out that harrowbean mentions her mother holding her wrist the same way she said ice cube barbie did when they were in the coffin hangar

another addition to the clown emperor's story is that the Resurrection is described in harrow's memories as "ten thousand years ago had given them all release from death that none of them had deserved"

I don't know about any of this

we've got a disturbance in the force when harrow describes her parents finding out about the tomb thing

it says "her parents had...found out...about what she had done"

interesting edit of the story there

there's a gideon-sized hole in this story

there's also an interesting new count of nooses??

she says they tied five, two for mortus (???) but in gideon's book she said they tied their own nooses and then helped her tie hers, what's up with mortus having two??? is this nothing and I'm just obsessing about every detail???

I'm gonna start seeing palmolive's force ghost roaming around my house

at the end of ch. 3 it says "there had been another girl who grew up alongside Harrow—but she had died before Harrow was born"

this is a VERY INTERESTING wording

if someone dies before you are born, they can't grow up with you

UNLESS

I'm not gonna dwell on that yet

let's put a pin on that

ch. 4 has the re-apparition of yandere twin

*live studio audience cheers, maybe*

she gives her a letter addressed to her from her

the letter has a lot of instructions of things she doesn't remember at all and also are supposed to be opened at specific times/events

one of them says "in the event of the emperor's death"

another says it's in case she sees regina george twin, which makes a whole argument happen and knives are used to settle it

yandere twin will not hear someone imply her sister might be no longer with us

she probably isn't dead, this I know for certain, people wouldn't be confusing my names for them if that was all we got from her

the most important letter, though, is the one in case she sees camilla, who harrow claims not having interacted with ever

this is a very important thing to note, but most importantly, CAMILLA MENTION

very important to be noting who harrow remembers interacting with and who she doesn't

very important as well that she remembers yandere twin losing an arm in battle but does not remember gideon or camilla

I haven't mentioned it yet but, in the letter, past!harrow tells present!harrow that she needs to check yandere twin's tongue and lower mandibule

to which I think to myself "I bet she's gonna kiss her"

and that she did

which makes me want an edition of this book but with gideon commentary

like a dvd commentary but it's gideon commenting on all this stuff

and cracking jokes

because I bet she'd be cracking jokes about this

remember when she joked that yandere twin would marry mayonnaise uncle?

and then both harrow and mayonnaise uncle were like "ew the third's magic is weird"

imagine if she saw this display

another CRUCIAL thing is that harrow is doing like an oath to yandere twin as requested by past!harrow

and she says "by the ripped and remade soul of ortus nigenad"

and yandere twin goes "who? oh, yes—the cavalier"

I mean, mood at not remembering the names, but also SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR

she also tells present!harrow "I gave you something you cared about very deeply at the time"

side note, there is yet another moment in which chad is read for filth

get obliterated even in undeath, chad

last detail from this chapter is that harrowbean almost gets assassinated

maybe I should have started with that

at this point there's so much going on, death seems like a normal one

so yeah, she's gonna get killed with a pillow to the face and then she defends herself and discovers at the end of the chapter that she didn't hallucinate the whole thing and it was hidden from her on purpose that somebody tried to end her

so what's the point in being in this clown death star and surviving big brother canaan house if you can't even sleep peacefully???

moving on to chapter 5

remember the timeline I was making?

yeah, about that

chapter 5, in the third person continuity, establishes that what I saw previously was not necessarily a memory but an au memory

if we can call it something at this point

so my calculations were made as if the timeline was one

but this is not one timeline, it's a sort of parallel gideon-less one

of course my heart is making me believe the gideon-less one is the one that isn't real

and that past!harrow might know what's going on with that

maybe gideon's existence needs to be protected

maybe the emperor doesn't have to know about her

(I'm still holding on to the gideon hope, leave me alone)

but, in any case, present!harrow doesn't know

let's remember the prologue begun with harrow doing something she shouldn't and yandere twin saying something like "was there something in those letters I don't know about?"

I'm just gonna have to throw my timeline in the trash and start over with multiple timelines for now

ALSO, I didn't say anything about it yet, but it's mentioned that harrow is "in love" with ice cube barbie

take that as you will

which is another joke gideon has made in the past and would be stellar in a commentary of this

and, talking about things gideon would be awesome at commenting

in the new ortus-inclusive (?) narrative, ortus is talking about the epic of Matthias Nonius, who we know because harrow has compared gideon to him in the past

and also there's is a comment made about how ortus looks down on people who read "prurient magazines or pamphlets"

I really need gideon confessionals commentary over here

she also says that "the ninth house character, she was forced to admit, had always been low on wild and confident fucks"

yeah, well, how about that

and we end with THE FLIMSY

lots of important flimsies in this

she finds a note that reads "THE EGGS YOU GAVE ME ALL DIED AND YOU LIED TO ME"

ortus says he can't read it

but, in any case,

that made me stop in my tracks because I was reminded I forgot about the writing on the walls of canaan house?????

I filed it under canaan house weirdness but then, it was never talked about?????? again????

also the paper gideon found with her name

which I assumed was addressing the other gideon that not!dulcinea mentioned knowing

but who tf knows at this point

who knows what time and space are anymore

time to leave it for today...this is getting wild, you guys

[asgardian--angels]

Talking on the phone with my mom I finally broke down and cried thoroughly about the cancellation. I think I'd been holding it in for the last two days, or two months. And honestly I've been wondering all along why this show means so much to me. I am not queer, I am not neurodivergent, I am not POC or disabled or any of the groups that this show has been so important for in terms of representation and being treated with respect and dignity. I understand and completely empathize with all of you, and fight for this show and your rights worldwide alongside you, but it still left me wondering why I myself have latched onto Our Flag Means Death. I suppose part of it is that despite being white and cishet and the privileges that have always come with that, I have been treated like an outsider and ostracized my entire childhood and teenage years, for being ugly and having "disgusting" interests (primarily liking insects, reptiles, other creepy-crawlies - aka the thing I literally do for my career now). I was bullied relentlessly from preschool through early college and became a very lonely introverted person - I still am. Undoubtedly Our Flag Means Death gave me renewed hope that I haven't missed some key window for finding love or relationships of any kind that matter, as I sit here typing this at age 28 having never dated anyone.

But it had to be more than that. And with everything that's happened the past couple of months, and the last few days, I think it finally clicked for me.

Followers of my blog may or may not know that I am a conservation biologist, or pollinator ecologist, whichever hat fits best on a given day, they're quite close. I don't make many original posts like this anymore on here because my job is so busy. Basically, I do a variety of things - academic research, habitat management & restoration, and public outreach - to try and preserve biodiversity and ecosystems on our planet. I'm just going to say it: it's a thankless job. Nothing we do ever feels like it's enough, and burnout is common in our field because we sit with the guilt of feeling like we are the only thing between survival and utter destruction of planet Earth, and work ourselves to exhaustion. It's one of those jobs where your work is your life, and your passion is your work, and it's inseparable from who you are on a molecular level. We are often faced, on a large scale, with hostility, from people that don't believe in science and are more than happy to pull a shotgun on us, or rich old men in power who are content to watch the world burn for another penny in their bank account. There are days when sometimes it sinks in just how bad things are, and it's terrifying, and I feel like we will never be able to do enough, to change enough, before it gets catastrophic. It's paralyzing.

My ability to do my job is dependent on hope. Unwavering, unrelenting hope. Hope beyond hope. We have to believe what we're doing matters, otherwise we'd fall down and never get back up again. I'm no big-shot, I give talks to a few hundred people at a time, and make urban pollinator habitat on a local scale. Is any of that going to make a difference compared to the ramifications of a single oil mogul deciding to cut corners and cause an oil spill that kills millions of seabirds and damages ocean food chains for decades to come? If people in my field let thoughts like that linger, we'd be paralyzed to inaction. I have to hope that the people I teach choose to do something good with that knowledge, and go on to inspire others, or that the patch of habitat I make allows a declining species to maintain a foothold instead of going locally extinct. You just have to keep going.

And Our Flag Means Death got wrapped up in that for me. The Stede Bonnet effect, if you will. He set out to do pirating differently, treating his crew with respect and helping them grow. In return, they internalized that mindset, and it spread to how they interacted with others. It changed the trajectory of individual lives, and also at least began to change how the society of pirates operated as a whole. It was a beacon of hope that choosing small acts of kindness did matter, even if you yourself could not see the ripples it made. It renewed my faith that love persevered and would win. That we could all make life a little better for each other and ourselves through kindness, compassion, forgiveness, and mutual support. I think a good chunk of that is from Taika - these are running themes in his projects, and his films move me deeply for that. This show became in some, perhaps subconscious way, a source of strength for me to keep putting myself out there in my line of work to do whatever I was capable of to help the cause.

The cancellation was devastating, but the second cancellation (turbohell cancelation?) was even more so. Because now it's so clear that this is largely the work of David Zaslav and the regime he's built. It's petty, it's greedy, and more than anything, it's cruel. Indifferently, indiscriminately cruel, when one person at the top can have such power to make or break the lives of thousands, millions, beneath them, and though it would have been barely a drop in the bucket, a hand wave, to renew our show or let it pass to another streamer, he actively chose to shackle it to this sinking Titanic of a company WBD has become. I have always operated on the belief that you can do anything if you work hard enough at it, and believed deep down that there was some order, some justice in the universe, atheist though I be. We as a fandom did everything we possibly could, we loved this show harder than anything. The numbers were there, the awards nominations were there, the critic praise was there, and we were loud and loyal every single day. I felt like we could do this - how could we not win when we've done so much, and the show deserves it so much? Surely cause and effect will prevail.

This fight seemed small, though really it wasn't; we fought for the right of artists and creators to make quality, original stories and have them told to their natural end, we fought for diversity representation to be more than a token character - OFMD raised the bar so much higher on all fronts, we fought to shed light on the chaos and impending collapse of this industry silencing art and exploiting writers, actors, and all manner of production workers. It was a small fight from the outside, one that I really felt we could win. And I put my heart and soul into it, because if we could win this, if we could save this simple, kind love story about two guys on a boat, then maybe there was hope for the bigger, badder stuff too. It shouldn't seem an insurmountable task for several thousand fans to convince a streaming service that they'd turn a tidy profit to give our show one more season.

Yet we lost - through no fault of our own. I am so proud of us. But that really struck deep for me. If one peabrained CEO of a media company wouldn't budge on greenlighting a show that was in his every best interest business-wise - perhaps enough to even save Max from going under in the not-too-distant future - my god, what hope was there for changing anything bigger? The 'real' problems of the world? When no amount of ethos, logos, or pathos can penetrate these men at the top, where's that hope to fight? Lately the world seems like it's just going belly up all over. If we gave everything we could, and it still wasn't enough - if it could never be enough - what hope is there? It's like chaining yourself to a tree and the bulldozer plowing right on ahead. And I think that broke something in me. It shook me to my foundations because it broke my rules of how things are supposed to work. We believed hard enough, we worked tirelessly, and we deserved it for how important this show was to so many people. And it didn't matter. Our best wasn't enough. And that caused an avalanche of all of the horrible, scary things piled on my shoulders - we're losing the Amazon rainforest too fast to save, climate change is going to turn the corn belt into a dustbowl by mid-century, a border wall is going to devastate imperiled wildlife in Texas, deforestation and hurricanes on songbird wintering grounds could lead to entire species extinctions, saltmarshes are our lifeline and they're shrinking and we're still building stupid concrete stormwalls, invasive diseases will completely alter the composition of our forests to be unrecognizable to our children, and if you don't make every slide of this powerpoint utterly perfect and you fail to convince every single person in attendance to get rid of their lawn then you've failed and the world is doomed.

I've struggled with being a perfectionist my whole life. This didn't help.

That's where I was a couple hours ago. But I took some deep breaths. I know the world isn't fair. But I really thought if we could win this one battle, then we could win the war.

But here's what I realized. Everything we did mattered. It mattered so much. Because there's the show, and then there's everything that was birthed out of that show. The community, so many of us around the world who have been uplifted by Our Flag Means Death in a real and lasting way that we will take with us and spread to affect those around us. The Stede Bonnet effect goes global. We raised thousands and thousands of dollars for charities around the world, real people whose lives have been improved, or maybe even saved, because of us and this silly pirate show. We brought a hell of a lot of attention to WBD and their shitty practices, keeping the momentum going in a way that I think is only going to build - and I sure hope it leads to Zaslav getting deposed. We have demanded more queer stories, more BIPOC stories, more disabled and autistic and middle-aged stories, stories with exquisite costumes and award-worthy wigs, dear lord, and we are being heard. We have expressed such love and support for the cast and crew, showing them that we appreciate their hard work and that we will be behind them in their future projects. So many of them have told us how the show and its fans have changed their lives. We convinced Rhys that his career isn't winding down but winding up, and to be unapologetic about his wonderful weirdness - we've proven to everyone through this show that your weirdness is what someone out there is going to love you for, not in spite of. We rallied to help writers and actors during the strikes in a way that was taken to heart and remembered. We have been out here talking it through as a crew, and turning poison into positivity, for over two years now, and that impact is permanent. They can cancel our show, they can try and slap copyright notices on our fan merch, and spew bullshit excuses about the numbers not being there. But Our Flag Means Death sparked a movement, the biggest pirate crew the world has ever seen, using our power for good.

We may not have any more new material for our show for a while, or ever. But I maintain hope that when the dust has settled and streaming has entered its 'new era' that they'll remember us and throw us a lifeline. Because hope is a part of my genetic makeup, and even in cancellation my hope has been renewed that the fight is worth fighting, that our individual choices of kindness are having an effect, and making the world a little easier to live in bit by bit. No one can take from us what we have built out of this show. And thanks to pirating, they can't take the actual show from us either. Despite this, no matter the outcome, I am so happy we got two seasons of this wonderful series. That was more than almost anyone expected. The story belongs to all of us, and it will always live on. We did not truly lose this battle, because in the process we gained more than we could have ever imagined. And I know there's still so much more to come. That gives me the strength to keep doing what I do, every day.

To me, Our Flag Means Hope.

[miniwheat77]

Close. Pt.1 (Captain Price x Reader)

!NSFW, Smut, Age Gap, virgin reader, fingering, mentions of death, violence, alcohol, !MINORS DNI!

(Summary): Reader gets left alone with Captain Price for a few months. How long can he spend alone with her before he caves?

Part 2 here

You can't remember the last time you had felt at peace with yourself. It's not that you were unhappy or anything, just uncomfortable in your own skin.

You've just turned 18, have no real life plans, you and your dad are constantly at each other's throats. It's a shit show for now, but you know it won't be forever. Your dad is in the military and he is very stern with you. He wants everything to look perfect and sometimes you just can't manage that. Your mum had passed away and he was all you had left as none of your other family really cared too much to stay in contact with you after she had died.

Your dad was due to be coming home soon and he expected the house to be spotless when he came home, which you had scrubbed the entire thing head to toe. Even going as far to dust off ceiling fans and light fixtures.

You had mentioned a couple times to him about moving out, but he'd flipped out on you. You're sure it wasn't anything personal, more or less just him being scared to lose you too.

He took it very hard when your mum passed away. He couldn't function for some time afterward. You and him fought like crazy because he seemed to take his sadness out on you. You didn't appreciate it and were going through it just as bad as he was. When she passed away, it meant you were alone while he was deployed. You had nobody to rely on when he wasn't there. You had no one but yourself 10/12 months a year.

"Y/N, you remember Captain Price?" he says to you over the phone. Your stomach falling slightly. "Of course I do, why?"

His name alone causes your hair to stand up. He was around a lot when you were a kid, your dad had gotten stationed alongside him in Britain and brought you and your mom to live there with him for a few months. During that time, you ended up spending a good majority of time with Captain Price, considering your home life wasn't so good. From about 8-10 you were with him. You had a huge crush on Captain Price. You had only just come to terms with the fact that you and him would never be anything, and your dad comes to lay this on you.

"He's coming to stay with me on the base for a few months, he'll be staying in our guest room. Is that okay?" he asks. "oh uh.. of course. Why wouldn't it be?" you laugh the nervousness in your voice off. "I'm sure he will be grateful we're having him, but make sure the house is clean for my return please, sweet pea?"

"Course dad." he laughs into the phone. "You always sound so unamused. When did you grow up and stop being my little girl ah?" he slurs his words. You can't help but roll your eyes. You hadn't realized he'd been drinking before. "Get some sleep dad. I'll talk to you tomorrow night." You laugh, hanging up the phone. You looked around the house, it was spotless, just like he'd asked. You made your way up the large staircase. Your dad made a fair amount of money and provided you with everything you needed and more. He had a nice house, and everything. But you didn't like to take his money. You slipped your hand over the oak railing, frowning to yourself. It was so lonely here without your mum. You hated being here alone.

---

"Hey. I've some bad news." Is the first thing you hear from your dads mouth a couple days later. "What?" you ask. "My contract extended another 6 months. But John has already gotten his plane ticket and can't get it refunded. It'll be just you and him for a while. Is that okay?"

You think to yourself. Alone? In a big house? With the finest man you've ever laid eyes on?

"Of course it's okay. It's not like I haven't done it before. No reason he shouldn't be able to check the base here out." You smile into the phone. "Oh good. I'm glad you're such a good sport Y/N." Your dad chuckles over the phone. "I'll ask him to keep an eye on you, yeah?" He laughs. "Yeah right. I've been here alone for like 10 months and I've done just fine." You roll your eyes, he can't see it obviously. "I'm sorry honey. But you know how this is."

"Yeah. I know. But it'll be alright. You'll be home before you know it."

---

When that Friday came, you had to pick John up from the airport, it was the plan from the beginning as you were supposed to pick your dad up as well. You couldn't help but be a little sad that your dad wouldn't be coming home. He was really all you had left.

You don't know what you would do if you didn't have him.

You had to be awake at 5am to go get John, you weren't happy about it. But thankfully, it was a warm summer night.

You had on a t-shirt and some shorts, not really thinking about how you looked in front of John. You were a little too tired to even think straight. You waited inside the airport by where the baggage claim was. You're sitting in a chair in the small waiting area. Pretty soon, you make eye contact with him, and he looks just as good as he did when you were younger. The same facial hair, same kind of uniform. Everything.

You send a smile his way and his eyes widen. "Good god. You're a woman." He laughs, pulling you into a hug. "What?" You laugh, wrapping your arms around his waist. "The last time I seen you, you were just a little girl." He laughs, pulling away. You missed his accent. He grasps his bag. "Yeah, was a long time ago." You blush. You make your way out to your car together, it was parked right at the entrance. "It's just crazy." He stares you up and down. "Although... are you in pajamas?" he says in confusion as you pass him to walk around the car. He climbs into your passenger seat. "Uhhh. Perhaps." You smile. He makes a "tsk" sound, shaking his head. "Didn't your dad always teach you to be prepared?" You reach in front of him, opening the glovebox. Inside was a gun your dad made you carry. "Jesus. I meant.. If your car breaks down or something."

"Bold of you to assume I can't change a tire in pajamas."

"You are definitely your fathers daughter." He laughs. He hears the song on in the car, and he smiles, reaching for the dial to turn the sound up. "Your playlist?" You roll your eyes. "Always." he laughs. "Man.. 20 year old me would've killed to be with a girl like you."

What's stopping you now?

You have to shake the thoughts from your head. "Yeah, show me a picture of you at 20." You laugh. He thinks to himself. "I don't even know if I have one." you lick your lips. "Suppose they didn't have cameras in the 1800's ah?" You smirk. He narrows his eyes. "Ha Ha. You're hilarious." He rolls his eyes. You laugh. "Now I'm gonna look for one." He slides his phone out.

When you arrive at your house, he grasps his bag out of the back and you both make your way for the front door. You unlock it and hold the door open for John. "Come on, guest room is this way." You walk down the hallway. He follows you and you open up the door for him. "Goddamn, when your dad said you had a spare room I didn't think he meant in a damn mansion." He laughs. "Yeah, it's a little extreme for 2 people." You laugh. You leave him to unpack his stuff.

"I found a picture of me when I was in my 20's." He laughs. You're sitting on your couch and he's walking up behind it from the hallway. "Show me." You smirk. He holds the phone in front of your face. "Holy shit." You laugh. "What?" he laughs. "If only you weren't 20 years younger." You smirk. He freezes up. "Yeah right, I was way out of your league." He brushes off your comment. "I just wanna know what happened?" You smirk. He narrows his eyes. "I got more attractive that's what happened." He crosses his arms. "Mhmmmm."

You were really good at getting under his skin for some reason.

---

He almost couldn't take the torture. He'd been here for a week so far and was struggling.

You walking around in nothing but shorts and tank tops, back talking him with those pretty lips.

You thought for sure he didn't have any feelings for you, but you didn't realize just how close you were to cracking him. He waits for you to get back from a friends house. Sitting at a stool at the countertop in the massive kitchen. He'd gone out and bought a good bottle of scotch, and maybe he'd had little too much to drink.

When you finally come in, you step inside. Walking into the kitchen after you'd kicked your shoes off. He noticed you had a messenger bag with black fabric peeking out. He knows exactly what you were out doing.

"Kinda late ah?" He smirks, startling you. "Jesus Christ!" you hold your hand over your heart. "Why are you just sitting there like that?" you sigh. "Come sit sweetheart. You ever had scotch before?" you swallow hard. "Uh.. no. Have you met my dad?"

He's got an evil grin on his lips. "Well. What he doesn't know won't hurt him. I mean, you weren't really at a friends house were you? I can see the dress sticking out of the bag. I'm sure he wouldn't have allowed that either." He smirks. "Well. It was a waste of time anyways." You laugh. He pours a small amount into another glass, sliding it over to you. You pick it up and put your lips to the glass and he smiles, watching you try it. Your nose immediately scrunches up and you cringe. He laughs a little too hard. "Maybe scotch shouldn't have been your first drink." You laugh. "It's fine."

"Why was the party a bust hm?" He asks. "I just don't fit in. At all." You look down at the countertop. "How's that?" You smile. "Since I've been so sheltered, bounced back and fourth. I don't really know how to fit in with people my age. They all wanna get drunk and party. I just decided to leave early because spending time with you sounded like way more fun." You laugh.

"But I suppose you probably don't see it. You probably just see me as some kid." He smiles down at the countertop. "Of course I do. I was there, watching you grow for a couple years there. I'll always see you that way." He laughs. "Exactly." He could sense the annoyance in your voice. "Y/N, what's going on hm? You've been acting weird for the last couple days." He grasps your shoulder to make you look at him, he looks you in the eyes. You pause for a minute. You lean forward, making possibly the biggest mistake you'll ever make. You plant your lips right onto his, and he draws back immediately. "Woah." He pushes you back by your hips. "Y/N.. I'm sorry. I can't kiss you like that. I can't-" you stand up from the stool, "no.. I'm so sorry. I don't know what got into me." You shake your head. "It's okay. I..." He stands up, brushing his hands off on his jeans. You quickly make your way for your room. Humiliated. He sighs as he sits back down at the countertop.

---

When he wakes up the next morning, he hears nothing but silence and his head pounding. He definitely had too much to drink the night before. But not enough to forget what happened. When he walks around the house, you’re nowhere to be found. Probably off to school already. He lets out a groan as his phone begins ringing. His head already throbbing.

“Hello?” He asks into the phone. “Hey John.” He hears your dads voice, his stomach falling a little.

“Hey what’s up?”

“Y/N got into a scuffle at school this morning, she’s getting dropped off by her counselor. You mind keeping an eye on her for me?”

“Yeah no problem. And.. a scuffle?”

“I guess some dumb kid was being mean to her. Hurt her wrist pretty bad.” John thinks for a second. “You make it sound like it was a boy.” He laughs.

“From what I understand it was.” John’s face falls immediately. “It’s been going on for some time now, I was gonna take care of it when I got back but.. I got an extension.”

“I might be able to talk to the school about it, if you want.” He offers. “I couldn’t ask you to do that.” He says. “It’s no problem. I’ll take good care of her, don’t you worry.”

John hears the front door open, and makes his way out from the kitchen. Your counselor is helping you inside. “What the hell happened?” He asks. John finds it a little weird that your counselor is a middle aged man, and was alone with you while you were completely inebriated. “Well..” he sighs. “A boy at her school was being a little mean. I guess they kinda got into a little bit of a tussle, he slammed her hand in her locker.”

That explains the wrap around your wrist.

“He said something about her mom, so Y/N just.. attacked him. They had to sedate her to get her to calm down. She’s coming down from it, but she’ll be alright.”

John nods his head. “Who are you? If you don’t mind me asking?” He asks John. “I’m Captain John Price. I’m looking after Y/N until her dad gets back from deployment.” Her counselor nods his head. “Well. This is going to go under investigation. I’ll be surprised if Y/N is allowed back after this.” He narrows his eyes. “That boy slammed her hand in a locker, and made a comment about her dead mother. If I were her, I’d have attacked him too.” He crosses his arms. “Yeah.. but it’s not up to me or you. It’s up to the school.”

John laughs. “Thanks for bringing her home. But if you’ll excuse us.” John says.

After saying goodbye, he leaves.

John sits on the coffee table, placing his hands on your knees. “Are you okay?”

You’re really quiet. You nod your head. You look drowsy. “Don’t lie to me.” He says sternly.

You shake your head no. He brushes hair out of your face. Watching you blink, the tiredness so apparent in your eyes. “You’ll be alright.” He flattens your hair with his hand, running it over and over again. He’s trying to calm you.

“I’m..” your voice cracks a little and your speech is slurring. “I’m sorry that I tried to kiss you.” You look up at him. He sits up from the coffee table, sitting next to you. “It’s fine, it.. was a crazy night. Let’s not worry about that though.” He pulls you into his side. You rest your head on his shoulder. “Who is this boy and why is he fucking with you?” He asks. “I don’t really know, he just started doing it one day and went with it.” Your voice slurs slightly. “Hm..”

“Everyone says he has a crush on me. That’s why he does it,” you laugh. “Yeah, that’s no excuse to do what he did.”

“And he’s really ugly.” He laughs a little harder than he should. “You’re so innocent. It’s so cute.” He smiles. Your heart aches in your chest.

So close, yet so far out of your reach. “Here. You get some sleep okay?” He covers you up with a blanket, standing up. You turn your head to the side, laying on the couch. He watches your eyes close, your body relaxing. He picks up his phone, disappearing into the other room.

—

When you wake up, you’re confused. It takes a few minutes until everything comes back to you. A yawn leaves your lips and you stand up, going up the stairs. You don’t see John anywhere around. You change your clothes into something more comfortable. You look at yourself in the mirror. The embarrassment from the night before still fresh in your brain. “Y/N?” You hear John calling for you. You quickly finish what you’re doing, going down the stairs.

“I took care of everything.” You frown, “what do you mean?” He lifts up a stack of papers. “You’re on a 2 week mandatory suspension, but I took care of the rest.” He smiles. “What did you do?”

“I just went down there, talked to your school. Seen the kid so I talked to him too. I could tell it was him because of the scratches and stuff all over his face. Has a hell of a shiner." He smiles.

“Oh god…” you cross your arms. “What did you say to him?” He laughs. “Don’t worry about it.”

You knew he probably threatened the boy to get him to back off of you. “He’s a little prick but he should leave you alone.”

He laughs. “Thank you, John. I appreciate it.” He nods his head. “It’s nothing. You feeling better?” He asks. You follow him into the kitchen, “I’m fine.” You grasp a water bottle out of the refrigerator, passing him one too. “So.. about your counselor..” he trails off. “What about him?” John shakes his head. “Just seems weird that he’s alone with you. Like that.” He pauses to take a drink out of the water bottle. “I’m alone with you.” You pull a stool out from the counter, hopping up onto it. He does the same, sitting next to you.

“Yeah but that’s different. I’m a family friend.” You laugh. “He’s just there to make sure I’m good at school.” John nods his head. “I only have like 3 more months of school left.” He nods his head. “That’s good, cause that guy gave me the creeps.”

“He probably thought the same about you.” He rolls his eyes. “I can’t be that creepy, you tried to kiss me.” He smirks. “Oh god.” You cover your face. He laughs. “Do you like me or.. was it just.. heat of the moment thing?” You look up at him. “Heat of the moment.” You lie, rolling your eyes. “For a Captain you sure are soft.” You glance at his hands, hoping he doesn’t catch it as you adjust yourself in your seat awkwardly. Even his hands had your attention. “I’m soft toward you. I’m only harsh when I need to be.” He shrugs. “So what, I’m the only person you’re soft towards? Why?”

“I don’t know.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Yes you do.”

“I just figure your dad is probably already pretty hard on you. I mean I heard some of the screaming matches you two had.” You nod your head. You laugh. “Yeah. It was pretty ugly.” He smiles. “Plus maybe I just have a soft spot for you, what’s wrong with that?” He smiles. Giving you a playful shove. No matter what, he thought of you as a kid. A little girl he watched grow. You hated it. It unsettled you to no end that he’d never see you the way you seen him. “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” He asks. You shoot a smile his way. “That’s classified.” You roll your eyes. “Oh come on. Tell me, there’s gotta be a reason.” He smiles. “Okay. Why don’t you have a wife?” You ask, tilting your head and leaning back in your chair. He smiles. “I don’t like the games you’re playing.” He laughs. You bite your bottom lip. “I don’t have a wife because the one long term relationship I was in, ended pretty badly.” He says. “There, now you tell me.”

“I don’t like guys my age.” He looks confused for a minute. “What do you mean?”

“Guys my age are immature and stupid. I don’t like it.”

“So.. what? You think men in their 20’s have that figured out?”

“No.” He looks even more confused. “Men in their 30’s and 40’s might though.” His eyes widen. “I-“ he pauses for a second. “For your sake, I hope your dad never finds that information out.”

“Me too.” You laugh.

“You have to be careful, Y/N.” He looks down. “Older men.. they just wanna use you and take advantage of you.”

“I know.”

He freezes up. “How do you know that? Have you been with an older man before?” He sits up straight in his chair, a laugh spills it’s way from your mouth. “Relax, I’ve never been with anyone before.”

He relaxes. “Wait.. anyone? Like ever? You’ve never had a boyfriend?”

“I went on one date. And it did not end well.”

He laughs. “Thank god. You’re still innocent.” He smiles.

You roll your eyes. “You have no idea, Captain Price.” You smirk.

“I hope you never date anyone. Ever.” You tilt your head back with a laugh. “Why’s that?”

“Cause the thought of you with another guy. Your age, older, or not. Makes me cringe.”

“Why? I’m not your daughter.”

“Yeah, but I was there with you. I pretty much raised you for two entire years cause you wouldn’t leave my house.” He laughs. “You offered.” You scoff. “I know. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Your parents were fighting a lot, I didn’t mind having you around.” He laughs. “I guess I just have such a pure image of you in my head that I hate the thought of some dumbass guy ruining it.”

“I want a family. So.. I hate to tarnish that little pure girl in your mind but I’ll have sex, get married, and have kids at some point.” He cringes as you say it. “Hopefully not in that order.” He laughs.

“Definitely in that order.”

“Ah god I don’t wanna think about that.” He scrunches his face up in disgust. “You’re still young, you have so much time to think about that bullshit. Enjoy it while you have it.” You sit up slightly in the stool you’d sat on. “You’re gonna tell me you don’t have sex?” You laugh. “Not in a long damn time, no.”

“Exactly, that constant need you feel? You aren’t the only one who feels that.” You laugh. “Here.” He slides his cup toward you. He’d filled it with Scotch at some point. “It helps take that feeling away. Just plug your nose.” You roll your eyes, tipping it back. Flinching much less than you had the night before. “You know my dad would be pissed if he found out you were letting me drink.”

“Yeah, but you’re a secretive little thing so I’m not too worried.” You smile.

—

A few hours later, you’re sitting on the couch. He’s next to you trying to play a video game but it’s only pissing him off. You’re drunk, staring at the screen, laughing as he raged. “What the fuck is this? My teammates suck!” You roll your eyes. “Yeah? You sure it’s the teammates and not you?” You laugh.

“Ha Ha. I’m at the top of the scoreboard. And I have the best KD of everyone.” He rolls his eyes. You smirk. “I don’t like your attitude.” He sets the controller down. “Yeah? What are you gonna do about it?” You cross your arms, challenging him. “Oh. Babygirl those are fighting words. You better quit while you’re ahead.”

“Make me.”

He stands up, “alright. But I warned you.” He smiles, an evil smile. He grasps your legs pulling you down, beginning to tickle at your sides. You squirm hard, laughter beginning to spill out of your lips. He leans down on top of you on the couch, straddling your hips to hold you down. “Okay! Okay! I’m sorry!” You cry out. “Say "I’m sorry for disobeying Captain Price!” He smirks, sliding his tongue along his teeth. “I’m sorry for disobeying Captain Price!” You cry it out as loud as you can. He draws his hands back, laughing as you came down. Your stomach hurt from laughing so hard.

Once you had stilled, his smile falters and he’s looking down at you. His eyes flashing to your lips and than back to your eyes. He swallows hard. You can see it in his eyes he’s weighing out the pros and cons of kissing you. He shakes his head, sitting up and moving away from you. “There.” He smiles. “Now watch me kick some ass.” He picks up the controller and you sit up.

What was that?

You know now, he’s thought about it.

When he loses another round, he rage quits and sets the controller down.

He leans back onto the couch, propping one foot up on the coffee table. “Earlier.” He grasps your attention. “You said you went on a date and it didn’t end well, what happened?”

You look down. “Uh.. this guy was bugging me for a while to go out with him. Like.. following me around in school, following me to my car afterward. Constantly messaging me. So I finally gave in and he just said a bunch of gross shit to me.” You laugh awkwardly. “What did he say?” You look down. “He said um.. that.. oh god,” your face heats up and he can tell you’re getting embarrassed. “He said.. stuff about my body. Like.. maybe if I ate less my thighs wouldn’t be so big because he didn’t like it.” You take a deep breath, John raising his eyebrows. “I told him I wasn’t interested in having sex or anything like that because I was a virgin. And he told me ‘if he doesn’t put it all the way in, it doesn’t count’ and.. just always said stuff about stretch marks and stuff.” John shakes his head. “I see what you mean, about boys your age. Because everything he hates? I fuckin love. Thighs?” He rolls his eyes back with a groan. “He’s an idiot and you shouldn’t listen to him.” You laugh. “I didn’t. I went on one “date” and that was it. Ignored him after that.” He smiles. “So.. you’ve.. never had sex. But. Have you ever been touched? Like at all?”

You shake your head, crimson creeping up onto your cheeks. He runs his fingers over his facial hair. “Have you ever wanted to?” He leans back into the couch, tapping on the beer bottle he had in his hand. “Of course I have.” You roll your eyes. “But.. I don’t even know how to do it myself.” You laugh. You're holding a beer bottle as well. Holding it between your thighs. “What do you mean, you don’t touch yourself?” You look down. “I.. have tried. It just.. doesn’t feel all that good I guess.”

He chews on his lip, creating an awkward silence for around a minute.

“I could show you, if you want.” He finally says it.

Your stomach falls. And you look up at him, those wide innocent eyes. And he knows he’s probably gonna regret this. You’re young and innocent and he was there when you were a kid. But again, you were 18, sexy. And you wanted him, he could tell.

“I.. I guess?” You say skeptically. You take in a sharp breath when he stands up. Is he joking? “C'mere.” He grasps your ankles, much like he had done when he was tickling you. He pulls you down onto the couch again. You set down the beer bottle and lay back. “Relax. I’ll stop if you want me to okay?”

You nod your head, staring up at him. That same sense of innocence in your eyes. He breathes out. “I shouldn’t do this, should I?” He breathes. “Probably not..” You trail off.

“I’m.. just showing you. Yeah?” You nod your head. "Nothing more." He says. "Yeah... Nothing more." you repeat, a little quieter than he had said.

You wanted him to touch you so badly you’d tell him anything he wanted to hear. He loops his fingers over the waistband of your shorts, panties too. Pulling them down your legs. He swallows hard as he finally sees all of you. “Do.. you have any toys you like to use? Or have tried?”

You shake your head. “Have.. you ever.. had anything inside of you?”

Once again, shaking your head no. “Okay. Just relax for me?” He slides his hand up onto your thigh, moving it higher. His gentle touch on your skin has your cheeks heating up, your face feels like it’s on fire. Where his skin touches your own, burns. It’s almost too much to take. All of those years yearning for his touch, his attention. And you were finally getting it. He runs his finger up your slit and a gasp leaves your lips as he rests it on your clit, drawing small circles into it. You squirm immediately, and he smiles to himself. “You’ve not done much huh? So sensitive…” he breathes out.

There was this part of him that wanted to preserve your innocence. Wanted to pull away, apologize and walk away. And than, there was a devil on his shoulder chanting for him to go further. To take your virginity and fill you completely full of his cum right where you laid, to taint every last bit of innocence left inside of you. Leave you full and wanting more.

He wanted you to taste him on your tongue every time you thought about him. His bitterness. He had an internal debate as you squirmed at his touch. So sweet. It was like dangling a piece of meat in front of a lion, you didn’t see it. Didn’t know what he was capable of doing to you. He breathes out, trying to hold back. You didn’t know any of this, because he was gentle with you. Hid all of the evil parts about himself from you, especially the one that thought about burying his face between your thighs as soon as he seen you at the airport, all grown up. He lifts your leg up, moving himself closer between them. Resting it in his lap. He lets out a deep chuckle. “Just relax for me sweetheart. You’re too tense.” His voice is deep and it’s a voice you’d never heard from him before. “Just focus on what I’m doing to you okay?” You nod your head, staring down to where he was touching you.

You’re watching, lips parted. You’re completely mesmerized and you’re holding back. He doesn’t like that you’re holding back. He starts to rub faster, drawing pants from your lips. You’re getting wet, which is what he wants. “M’gonna try something, okay?” You nod your head. He slides his finger over your entrance, gathering your wetness on it. He starts drawing circles over your entrance, and you’re confused. It feels good but it’s not anything like him rubbing at your nub. A gasp leaves your lips as he presses it into you, and he could feel you stretching around his finger. Just one finger and you were this tight. You lift your hips into his touch, your eyes screwing shut. “Does it hurt?” You shake your head. Once he feels like you’re wet enough, he tries to slowly add a second finger but a hiss leaves your lips and you move back slightly. “Sorry love..” he chuckles. “It’s.. it’s okay.”

“You’re so tight..” he breathes. His cock throbs uncomfortably against his jeans. He palms himself slightly when he knows you’re not looking. “Is.. is that bad?”

“No sweetheart. Well.. it just means. It’ll hurt more when you.. have sex for the first time.” He mumbles. “Because.. most likely. You’ll be dealing with something bigger than a couple fingers.” He pumps his finger a little faster. “Can you.. try to add another finger?” He bites his lip. Keeping his eyes from rolling back. “It’s gonna hurt.”

“That’s okay.”

He slides his finger out of you, watching you blush as he puts them in his mouth to wet them down further with his saliva. You thought he was oblivious to the fact that he’d just tasted your arousal, but he wasn’t. You tasted sweet and he loved it. He wanted more. Wanted to bury his face into you until you screamed.

He slides the first finger inside of you and once he thought you were ready, he lined the second up. You grasp the hem of your own shirt tightly, closing your eyes. He goes as slow as he can, pushing his finger into you. Your body has so much resistance and he sees you flinch as he pushes it in further and further. When he finally reaches his knuckle, the tightness around his fingers has him so on edge he could barely take it. He wants to feel you clench this tight around his cock more than he could put into words. He draws it back, pushing it back inside of you until they moved comfortably. You unintentionally spread your legs further for him, and he grits his teeth. You were so comfortable with him touching you.

“John..” a whimper falls from your lips and his stomach falls, his cock throbbing hard. He wants to get up and yell, the feeling in his chest that he has is too much to bare. The way you moan his name makes him wanna climb on top of you and fuck you until you forget his name. He breathes out. Closing his eyes, still moving his fingers into you. “I want you to do it.” He draws his hand back. You look at him. “Here.” He grasps your hand. Moving it to your soaked opening, “try one finger,” you nod your head, swallowing hard as you tried to push it into yourself. Once you did, your body relaxes. “That’s it. That’s a good girl. Just like that.” He smiles, watching the way you pumped your fingers fast into yourself. Struggling to hold back your moans. He could tell you were still desperate. His fingers were larger and he was better. So he moves your hand again, replacing your fingers with his own. Pumping them at a steady pace. Listening to the wet sounds his fingers moving inside of you made. The longer he did it, the louder you got. Moaning and whimpering his name. You looked down, beads of sweat forming in your face as you clutched the couch, trying desperately to hold still. “John-“ you gasp out. “It.. it feels weird.” You buck your hips into him, thighs clenching up tightly. “Relax, you’re getting close.” He sits up on his knees, moving himself between your legs. When he leans over you, you grasp his shirt with a death grip and he can't help but smile. “Look at me.” He leans down, holding himself up with one hand that was by your head, his other not stopping for even a second. He curls his finger up into your spongy spot, cries leaving your lips, tears streaming down your face at how overwhelmed you were because of him. He chuckles when he sees them. “So worked up..” he mumbles. He leans down, you silence yourself as you look him in the eyes, his lips only centimeters from your own. “Cum for me.” He whispers. “Give yourself to me, Y/N.” You bite your lip, he has you right on the edge.

He leans down, lips brushing against yours. He thinks about if he should do it or not, but it’s already past a simple kiss. So he leans into you, lips crushing against your own. Moving against each other in desperation and need. He pulls away when he feels your hips buck, pressing his forehead to yours, his cheek brushes against yours and he can feel your tears smearing onto his cheek. He wanted to hear that sweet cry you’re going to let out when he makes you cum.

“I- I-“ a mewl leaves your lips and you clutch onto his shirt tightly as you reach your high, eyes rolling back and clenching shut, gasps leaving your lips and your hips jerk as he rubs your sensitive nub with his thumb, pumping his fingers into you still. You squirm, grasping his hand and trying to stop him. He finally draws his hand away, webs of your wetness coat his fingers and you blush once more as he places them against his tongue, closing his lips around them and sucking them clean of your sweetness. He leans down again, pressing his lips to yours and kissing you with as much passion as he did before. When he pulls away a final time, his phone ringing brings him away from you. "Hold on." He sits up looking at it. "It's your dad, I gotta take this." He says, a little nervous as he answers the phone.

[50calmadeuce]

Ch. 24: Happy Thanksgiving

Warning: Mention of miscarriage. Some chapters have sex.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Top Gun: Maverick world, trademarked by Paramount Pictures Corporation. I do not claim ownership of the characters and the world that I am borrowing.

The story and situation I am creating are a work of my imagination and I do not ascribe them to official story canon. This work is for entertainment only and is not a part of the storyline.

I am not profiting financially from the creation and publication of this story, but I do hope it gives you happy thoughts.

These stories are my own, so please do not take them and use them for yourself without my permission. If you see them somewhere else, please let me know. :)

Thanksgiving dinner unfolded seamlessly, and every one of Jake's family members buzzed with excitement over your news.

You were assisting Cindy in the kitchen when your cellphone rang. Grabbing it, you saw Jake's face and name on the caller ID.

"It's him, everybody!" you announced excitedly, unable to hide your smile.

As Cindy prepared the kitchen table with the birth announcement decorations, you answered the phone.

"Hey, babe!" you greeted warmly, your voice tinged with both nerves and excitement.

He grinned back, his green eyes twinkling through the screen. "Hey, darlin'! You're mighty cheerful today."

You beamed in response. "I'm always cheerful when you call."

"That is true."

"Let me flip the camera around so you can talk with everyone," you said, pressing the button on your phone to switch to the rear camera. You began walking around, allowing Jake to greet his family members one by one as their faces lit up at seeing him.

As the phone passed from one family member to another, the anticipation built up. Each greeting was filled with warmth and small hints of the upcoming announcement, yet no one spilled the beans. Finally, after everyone had their moment to chat with Jake, you took the phone back, positioning it so that both you and Cindy were in frame.

"Jake, before you say anything else, we have something special to tell you," Cindy began, her voice full of excitement. The background clearly showed the decorations hinting at the big news.

Jake's expression shifted from joyful to stunned as his gaze settled on the creative display you and Cindy had arranged. The centerpiece was his U.S. Naval Academy hat, which you had retrieved from his closet. Alongside it, you placed a printed picture of your ultrasound. You had also found a small dry erase board on which you wrote, 'Baby boy Seresin flying in April.'

You watched his face, eagerly anticipating his reaction to the carefully planned announcement.

Jake's eyes widened as he took in the scene, his surprise evident even through the small screen. For a moment, he was speechless, his mouth agape as he processed the news.

"You're serious?" Jake finally managed, his voice tinged with a mix of awe and disbelief. "We're having a baby? Y/N, where are you?"

You took the phone back from Matt, who had been holding it, and switched the view so you were looking directly at him. "I'm right here."

"Seriously? We're having a baby?" His voice was filled with growing excitement and a touch of nervousness, as the reality of the moment began to sink in.

You glanced at Cindy, who gave you an encouraging nod, and walked into Jake's bedroom where you had been staying. You closed the door behind you, settling onto the edge of the bed, you faced the camera squarely. "Yes, Jake. We're having a baby."

Recognizing the familiar surroundings, his tone mixed happiness with concern. "Baby, I'm so happy, but…how far along are you?"

"Just hit four months this week," you replied softly.

"And you're just telling me now?"

You sighed, gathering the courage to express your feelings. "Because I didn't know how you'd react, Jake."

Jake's features softened further as he absorbed your words. He ran a hand through his hair, a gesture you knew all too well as his way of processing complex emotions. "I get it," he said slowly, nodding his head. "Are you still working?"

"Yes," you responded, eager to reassure him. "I have interns for both the grant and work. I don't step in unless absolutely necessary." You watched for his reaction, hoping he would understand your commitment to both your work and your health during the pregnancy.

Jake ran his hands through his hair again, his face a mixture of seriousness and hesitation. "Since we're still all about this honesty thing, I did it on purpose."

Confused by his vague admission, you furrowed your brow. "What do you mean?" you asked, your voice filled with uncertainty and concern, seeking clarity on what he was trying to tell you.

Jake's words hung heavily between you. "Those four years killed me after we lost the first baby. You are my life, Y/N. I wanted another child with you. That first night when we used protection, I felt like you didn't want me anymore."

Taken aback by his confession, you responded, the surprise evident in your tone. "Jake, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I used protection because I care about us, about making sure we're both ready and that it's safe. It wasn't about not wanting you—it was about caring for our future together." Your words were firm, hoping to bridge the gap his misunderstanding had created.

Jake's eyes searched yours, the realization dawning slowly as he absorbed your words. "I… I got it so wrong, didn't I?" he murmured, his voice a mix of regret and sadness. "I let my fear and my own insecurities cloud my judgment. I thought if we didn’t try immediately, you might never want to try again."

"Oh, Jake," you sighed, your voice soft but filled with a mixture of love and frustration. "You have always been my world. Why did you never see it?"

Jake's expression shifted, reflecting vulnerability. "Because you were the first person that I love so much it scared me," he admitted, his voice catching slightly. His confession revealed the depth of his feelings and the fears that accompanied them, providing a glimpse into the complexities of his emotions towards you and your relationship.

"Open the door, Y/N," he said.

"Jake, I can't do that," you responded, the confusion deepening. "I'm not there with you."

"Just try opening my bedroom door," he insisted.

You slid off his bed and made your way to the bedroom door. Reaching out, you gently opened it. Just then, Jake came into view, dressed in jeans, a white t-shirt, and a bomber jacket. He put down his phone, his green eyes locking onto yours.

"Jake!" you cried out, your phone slipping from your grasp as you threw your arms around him. At the same time, his arms encircled you, holding you close.

His embrace was tight and reassuring, as if he was trying to make up for all the time lost and the distance that had once been between you. Overwhelmed by the suddenness and the reality of his presence, tears began to well up in your eyes.

"How? When?" you managed to ask between sobs, pulling back just enough to look at him, searching his face for answers.

"The mission got done earlier than expected and I took the first flight. I let mom and dad know. I wanted to surprise you," Jake explained, his voice warm, his smile gentle.

Your heart raced with a mixture of joy and astonishment. "You're really here," you whispered, almost to reassure yourself as much as to express your disbelief.

"Yes, I'm really here," he reassured, his thumb wiping away a tear that had escaped down your cheek. "And I'm not going anywhere, at least not for a little bit."

"Are you excited about the baby?"

"Darlin', I'm excited about everything that involves you." With those words, Jake leaned in and kissed you deeply.

The kiss was a clear testament to his commitment and love, a reassurance that despite the challenges and surprises that had come your way, your bond remained strong. As you parted from the kiss, you felt a surge of hope and excitement about what lay ahead.

"I have so many plans, so many dreams for us and our baby," Jake said, his eyes shining with enthusiasm. "I want to be there for every moment, every milestone."

You smiled, feeling the warmth of his words wrap around you like a comforting blanket. "I'm glad you're here now. That's what matters most."

"I love you, Y/N. Always have, always will," he declared.

"I love you too, Jake Seresin."

You both leaned in for another kiss.

Tags: @buckysteveloki-me @bellyliveslife @tgmreader @86laura11 @dizzybee03 @kmc1989 @guacam011y @nerdgirljen @hookslove1592 @dempy @djs8891

[ace-reader]

Delirious Confessions

The firehouse was quiet, the rest of the 118 crew having long since retired to their bunks for the night. Buck sat alone at the kitchen table, a half-empty mug of coffee growing cold in his hands. He could feel the weight of exhaustion pulling at his eyelids, the aftermath of a grueling 24-hour shift that had been one emergency after another.

Eddie had been by his side through it all, as he always was—steadfast, reliable, and so achingly present that he could hardly stand it. They had saved lives together, fought fires side by side, and shared quiet moments of vulnerability when the adrenaline had faded and left them raw.

Now, with the night pressing in around him and the tiredness making his head spin, Buck felt something shift inside him. It was a truth he had been dancing around for months, maybe even years, but in the stillness of the firehouse kitchen, it bubbled up, unbidden and undeniable.

He needed to tell Eddie. He needed to say the words that had been haunting him, the confession that felt like it was tearing him apart from the inside out.

Buck stood, his movements unsteady as he made his way to the bunk room. His heart was pounding, a rhythm that seemed too loud in the silence. He paused at Eddie's bunk, watching his friend sleep, the rise and fall of his chest a testament to the calm that Buck so desperately craved.

"Eddie," Buck whispered, his voice a hoarse croak. "Eddie, wake up."

Eddie stirred, his eyes fluttering open, confusion etched across his features. "Buck? What's wrong?"

Buck sank to his knees beside Eddie's bunk, his hands trembling as he reached out, fingers brushing against his arm. "I can't keep it inside anymore, Eddie. I'm so tired, and it's like I can't think straight, but maybe that's good. Maybe I need to be this tired to say it."

Eddie sat up, concern replacing the confusion. "Say what, Buck? You're scaring me."

"I love you," Buck blurted out, the words spilling from him in a rush. "I love you, and it's not just because I'm exhausted. I love you in the morning when we're gearing up for a call, I love you when we're covered in soot and sweat, I love you when you're laughing and when you're hurting. I love you, Eddie," Buck continued, his voice raw with emotion. "I know it's probably the worst timing, and I'm deliriously tired, but I can't hold it in any longer. You mean everything to me, and I can't imagine my life without you in it."

Eddie's eyes widened, a mix of shock and something softer flickering in their depths. He reached out, cupping Buck's face in his hands, his touch warm and grounding. "Buck, I... I don't know what to say."

Buck's heart hammered in his chest, uncertainty creeping in alongside the vulnerability of his confession. "You don't have to say anything, Eddie. I just needed you to know."

But Eddie's gaze held a tenderness that Buck had never seen before, a depth of feeling that mirrored his own. "I love you too, Buck. I love you more than words can say, and I've been too scared to admit it. I thought I was the only one feeling this way."

In that moment, exhaustion and confession mingled in the air between them, creating a space where truth could flourish. Buck leaned in, his lips meeting Eddie's in a kiss that was both gentle and fierce, a promise of all the words they had yet to say.

And as they finally pulled apart, the weight of their shared truth settled around them like a blanket, offering comfort and a promise of a future where their love could thrive, even in the midst of exhaustion and uncertainty.

[ewingstan]

We sort of touched on it in a prior post, but you’ve gotten a fair few details on how Mark and Carol raised Victoria by this point.

From what details you recall, how does her handling/raising of Kenzie fall into compare and contrast with those details?

Wooh. Hm. Well, I think she has Kenzie's ultimate wellbeing in mind more than Carol probably did while raising her and Amy. At the same time, when Victoria's first reaction to Kenzie getting publicly pilloried was "lets get you in front of cameras to argue your case, and also while we're at it lets keep our cape-network plan from falling through by jumping on the public-Scion-reveal grenade" I thought well. Yeah that's something Carol's daughter would think to do huh.

Its a dangerous relationship they're in. Victoria legitimately wants to keep Kenzie safe and stop her from overworking herself. She also really wants this cape group thing to work. She'd probably not consciously let the latter get in the way of the former, but she will let Kenzie fight as a hero if it seems like that's what Kenzie wants. The problem, of course, is that Kenzie wants what Victoria wants. Kenzie will act in whatever way will make the people around her happy, and so if she thinks Victoria wants her to be a hero (which you don't exactly need to be an observation tinker to notice), she's gonna make being a hero her whole thing. Not to mention that Kenzie also knows Ashley wants her to be an active cape, Sveta enjoys being on a hero team, etc....

I'll also say that the way Victoria's treating Chris.... kind of reminds me of how Carol treated Amy growing up? Victoria sees him as her responsibility: he's a member of the group Dr. Yamada asked her to shepherd, and he's a kid, and now that Dr. Yamada's gone that responsibility is even greater. Victoria is burdened with Chris in the same way Marquis burdens Carol with Amy; sure, Victoria does it a lot more voluntarily.... but she's also doing it more because she agreed to care for "the group," not for Chris. Chris is a responsibility that came packaged with what she wanted to do. And while the care she has for Kenzie seems to come from a place of genuine concern and affection, her keeping tabs on Chris feels strictly procedural. She's responsible for him, she'll keep tabs on him, nothing more to it. There's a lot of resentment and some frustration that boils into how Victoria treats Chris as a result. Insert your arrested development "I don't care for Chris" image here.

Hell, despite otherwise having pretty wildly different viewpoints when interacting with people, Victoria ends up resembling Taylor a lot in how she thinks about Chris, because it matches up so well with how Taylor thought about Regent. Its another case of "That guy I'm not as close to as the others, the dangerous one, the one whose probably a sociopath waiting to be let loose." I remember thinking that Chris seemed like "the Regent of the group" in my early reading, but they're really not so alike personality-wise, or even in terms of their place in the team dynamic; they're just positioned the same way in the mind of each text's narrator.

I read Taylor's reaction to Alec as one part fear-response to people who seem to delight in other's pain for no obvious reason, and one part a reaction to all the stuff she doesn't like about herself projected onto some twink in leggings. Her fixation on the idea that Regent must just like hurting people, that its just the kind of person he is, comes from the same scared confusion about why her best friend and the whole of the school started torturing her for no apparent reason. Its a reaction from a person who still categorizes everyone as bullies or victims, and is distressed about whether there's more to that and where she is on the spectrum. In her mind, he's a kinda evil dude that likes to hurt people because hes a bully and that's what bullies are, but actually maybe he's fine to hang around with? Which is getting churned in her head alongside her pledging to protect people by becoming a horrifying warlord and making long arguments to Pariah and Flechette about how villains can be helpful and heroes can be bullies. Taylor's relationship to Alec and her distance from him is symptomatic of her evolving views about who people can be, what power can be used for, and why people act the way they do.

Of course, Taylor conversely forms one of her strongest emotional bonds with someone who reminds her of her bullies even more than Alec does. But I think this makes sense for the same reason Chris and Kenzie could both remind Victoria of Amy but inspire such differing treatment. Bitch's first encounter with Taylor was a seemingly random attack that Taylor directly compares to the trio's assaults: she instinctively looks for a reason to hold back like she did for them, and then finds freedom in not having one. But while Rachel at first seems to directly fit the "bullies because she's a bully" model, Taylor learns pretty early on that Rachel has perfectly understandable reasons for her behavior, and that she can be predicted and made into a close ally if she just pays attention and puts in the work. Taylor's relationship with Alec is her sticking to the idea that the world is bullies and victims, and you have to find your place in it without understanding it because there's nothing more to understand. Taylor's relationship with Rachel, meanwhile, is her finding out the world isn't just bullies doing bad things because they're bad people. Rachel is the possibility of understanding the world, bringing it to heel, learning to love it and make it love you.

Similarly, Victoria's relationship with Chris is a reflection of everything she internalized from the Wretchening, while her relationship with Kenzie is her reacting against those internalized lessons towards something more hopeful. Chris is a medical freak who becomes a horrible misshapen monster on a regular basis and who suffers horribly for it, yet keeps choosing to do so. He's wretchening himself at the slightest provocation—he's impatient to wretchen himself! Add to that how his emotions rule him to the degree that they physically transform him, and that he shows absolutely no desire to reign them in, and its pretty clear why Victoria is often so negative to him. He's a powderkeg waiting to go off in a horrible way like his sister was, filled with strange and offputting desires turned into strange and offputting flesh, and unlike Amy he doesn't even have the decency to shamefully repress it. Chris is Amy as the deviant who qua deviancy will inevitably be a danger to everyone around him. Kenzie, meanwhile, is Amy as the sister who gave too much of herself. Victoria's shown at times that she hasn't forgotten how she loved Amy as a sister, how she wasn't inherently evil. She spoke with regret about not listening to Amy when she begged Victoria not to hug her. And she's pretty much said in-text "I don't want Kenzie, who I love as I once loved my sister, to exhaust herself to the point that she becomes lost in the way my sister did." Victoria looks at Chris and is reminded of all her fears of what strange and dangerous people will do, of her belief that bad people do bad things because their bad people. Victoria looks at Kenzie and remembers that's not true, and that she can do something about it.

[beardedmrbean]

Question for you. How do you feel about the one CEO saying Endometriosis isn't a gynaecological condition? I mean it technically is, isn't it?

https://news.yahoo.com/trans-ceo-charity-founder-says-210134975.html?.tsrc=daily_mail&uh_test=0_00

Oy vay, what now, lol. Gonna use my psychic powers to say we're entering a world of equality where women can have prostate cancer as well.

Gonna tl:dr at the end

Endometriosis is not a gynaecological condition, the founder of a charity supporting women with the disease has suggested, after appointing a transgender woman as its chief executive.

Jodie Hughes, the founder of Endometriosis South Coast, recently appointed Steph Richards, a trans woman and activist, as chief executive.

Ms Hughes told BBC Woman’s Hour on Wednesday that referring to the disease as a “gynaecological disorder” may be the reason medical research into the issue has not progressed further.

Endometriosis causes tissue similar to the lining of the uterus to grow outside of the womb, often causing severe pelvic pain. It can also affect fertility.

Another charity, Endometriosis UK, describes it as “the second most common gynaecological condition in the UK”. It affects around 1.5 million women in the country.

Appearing on the BBC programme alongside Ms Richards, Ms Hughes said: “Endometriosis is a systemic inflammatory condition. We need to move away from the gynaecological side of things because you don’t have to be born with a womb to have it.”

She also claimed endometriosis is “not a reproductive disorder”, adding: “It’s being seen as a gynaecological disorder maybe is the reason why the past 200 years research and medicine isn’t progressing.”

Ms Richards, 71, whose appointment drew criticism from some women’s groups, was asked on the programme if she could fully represent women with endometriosis when she previously had not used the word “woman” to describe those suffering from disease.

She said she was “happy” to use the word but did not want to ignore how endometriosis could also affect trans men and non-binary people.

Men diagnosed

Ms Richards also claimed that endometriosis was not only seen in women because 29 men had been recorded as being diagnosed with the disease.

“I look at women but I also look at the issue of trans men and non-binary people. There’s something like 5,500 trans men who had endometriosis who probably feel rather left out and also non-binary people,” Ms Hughes said.

The charity faced a backlash this week after appointing Ms Richards to the role.

Helen Joyce, director of advocacy at Sex Matters, told The Telegraph: “Endometriosis is a disorder that involves cells from the womb lining finding their way to other parts of a woman’s anatomy, and it can cause infertility.

“So, of course, it’s a women’s reproductive issue; it’s absurd and offensive to the many female sufferers of this debilitating condition to say otherwise. Yes, women who identify as men or non-binary can have the disease – how you identify obviously doesn’t change your biology. And, yes, there are a handful of cases in the literature where biological men suffer from something similar, but these are ultra-rare exceptions.”

Ms Joyce said that Ms Hughes’ remarks suggesting endometriosis should not be framed as a gynaecological issue were “offensive”.

“Endometriosis is poorly understood and researched precisely because it only affects women and our reproductive systems. This is part of the systemic lack of research and funding for “women’s issues”.

“The answer is for the medical profession to step up and do more for women – not to rebrand women’s disease by pretending they also affect men. People can’t in reality change sex, and men won’t start suffering from endometriosis even if we pretend people can change sex (and no man should want this disease; it’s horrific).” _________________________________

This entire article is lunacy.

For the first bit it's a gynecological condition because it's people with uterus's that get it

Endometriosis causes tissue similar to the lining of the uterus to grow outside of the womb, often causing severe pelvic pain. It can also affect fertility.

until they get the uterus transplant thing down this is something that will hit AFAB people and telling transmen this also almost sounds like telling them they don't need to go to a gynecologist to me.

It's not sexist or transphobic to say you need a gynocoligist if you have, vulva, vagina, uterus, cervex, fallopian tubes, ovaries and any bits I didn't mention, they're the doctors that specialize in those body parts

I'm very trans positive and supportive, this woman is an idiot however, and people are going to get hurt as a result of her being an idiot if she keeps going with this shit.

If you have a uterus you can get endometriosis.

If you have a uterus you go to a gynecologist to get those bits looked at, you can pull the gender away and be fine with it, gynecologist is a doctor that works on parts that 50% (or so) of the human population have.

Issues dealing with those bits are gynecological issues, make it gender neutral in your head if you need to.

We're getting dangerously close to a trans woman threatening to sue an oncologist because he said she has prostate cancer.

TL:DR; whole thing is insanity and will wind up killing people if they don't knock it off, you can call it whatever you want to call it but don't tell the professionals they're wrong on this one.

if it's a job for a OBGYN then it's a gynecological issue

[acti-veg]

i genuinely feel like it’s impossible to be an ethical person without sacrificing pretty much everything which gives me any joy

i went vegan, but now i just keep seeing how i fall short in so many other ways. it seems like everything i previously enjoyed has to be boycotted. everything is problematic in some way.

I don't feel like 'ethical' is a thing anyone actually just achieves and becomes 'an ethical person' one day by being nice enough and boycotting enough companies; it's something we have to strive for. I agree with Aristotle that virtue is a skill, it's not something you just are, it's something you have to constantly practice and that won't always be easy. That is made all the more difficult by capitalism.

Whatever you want to buy that will give you joy that you know is harmful, consider whether there is a more ethical version. Can you buy it second hand? Is there a more ethical company selling the same thing? Can you replace it with something else? You can't deny yourself every pleasure, but if something that brings you joy is inherently harmful you can choose to examine whether or not you actually need it to feel happy, and if you really do, how you can mitigate at least some of that harm. It's about choosing your battles.

I can't not eat any vegetables or grains without a severe health impact for example, and I can't afford to buy everything locally and I can't grow it all myself, so I buy it from the supermarket, knowing that much of it will have been farmed in environmentally destructive ways using unfair labour practices. People who aren't even trying will bring that up as a reason why veganism isn't ethical, but it's a lot better than consuming that unethical produce alongside animal products, which require even more of that exact produce.

I can't be completely cruelty free but I can relatively easily boycott animal products, and I can pay for the extra 15% on coffee, chocolate and bananas to buy Fair Trade. There is just about no smartphone or computer that does what I need it to do that is also ethical, but I can buy them refurbished instead of new. I can boycott particularly harmful companies, while knowing that what I replace their products with won't be ethically perfect either - just better. None of these are hugely commendable acts or difficult sacrifices, but it all helps.

Being vegan does not make you a good person, it's just one stance on one particular issue, which is the exploitation of animals. I oppose exploiting animals and refusing to purchase products which engage in that exploitation is accessible to me, and so I do it. It's that simple. Plenty of my other purchases aren't ethical and neither will yours be, because a lifestyle free from any and all harm is not possible under capitalism.

So long as you're doing your best that's really all anyone can expect. We're going to pass through this world just once, so we should enjoy it while trying to leave our small corner of it a little better off than it was before we got there. Being kind to one another and living a good life may not always be easy, but its also not some great burden that robs you of any joy. It is the entire point of living.

[funtomfactory]

About Sebastian's origins

I've seen a lot of posts speculating about Sebastian's whereabouts before he became Ciel's butler, his true form and if he was ever a human himself. I'm here to weigh my two cents in and I'm sorry to disappoint to those who had their hopes up, but I don't think he ever was human or from this plane of existance at all.

One: Sebastian's home world We know that Sebastian comes from a demon or demonesque realm, based on these panels from the manga:

(Idk exactly which chapter this is from) He mentions having creatures known to be pets "over there", showing a mental image of a xenomorph from Alien a demonic being. This suggests there is another place filled with beings like himself. From that, we can deduct that Sebastian is possibly not originally from Earth as we know it. Another clue is given further along the manga:

(chapter 137) Although Sebastian has stated here that he cannot appear in this world physically unless a sacrifice is made, further details about what that includes are unknown. He had also mentioned being present at certain events before, but we don't know if he was or wasn't under a contract at the time. Also William mentioned demons ravaging on human souls before, and I don't know how that would work if they couldn't even be here without a contract.

But until more details on the matter are released, we can deduct that Sebastian has a demonic home world, and doesn't physically reside in the human plane of existance outside of his contracts.

Two: Sebastian's true form Ah, the first image that comes to mind...

(Chapter 137) His yassified boots. It was one of the first details besides his eyes and fingernails that told us who he was behind the handsome face. But beside these manifestations, things get confusing quickly.

(Chapter 137) These pages in particular show us a lot of details about Sebastian. He seems to be made out of all sort of things: Snakes, flies, loads of eyes, a goat, an octopus and so on. But I think it truly comes down to this:

(Chapter 137) I think we as humans cannot comprehend Sebastian's true form, yet he can bend his appearance at will once summoned into the mortal plane. This sadly also means we'll never know what he really looks like. At the one hand this stinks, but at the other just imagine a being so terrifying, your brain can't grasp it. And since it's not a real world manifestation if feels different, but just imagine the sheer fright you'd feel if something like that ever pops up in front of you out of the blue.

As for his appearance in the human world alongside O!Ciel, here's a little theory to get sidetracked on:

Many before me have poointed this out already, but it appears there are some similarities between Sebastian's and Vincent's looks. Sure, this could be just a coincidence, but since we now know who exactly O!Ciel sacrificed to summon Sebastian, wouldn't it be fun if his appearance was based on how the twins would've looked if they'd grown into adults? We know R!Ciel is dead and won't grow up, and we're not sure O!Ciel will make it, so what if Sebastian's human appearance is a constant reminder of what could have been? Just to add insult to injury?

Three: Was Sebastian ever human? The answer to this one is, at least according to my opinion, no. Sebastian has said in earnesty time and time again that he has no comprehension of human thoughts or senses: not in taste, nor in touch.

Even if he had been human before and turned into a demon, wouldn't there be some recognition left on how humans do or feel things? We've all had the experience of getting a burn from hot water or the likes before. We can even imagine what it feels like without it actually happening. So if Sebastian had been human before, wouldn't he remember? Even if half of this was just to mock O!Ciel, putting the boy in boiling water could have caused severe injury, which would go against the contract.

We can even compare him to Grim Reapers, a group we know to have been human prior to becoming supernatural. Demigods verus demons aside, Shinigami seem to understand The needs of the human body, and are somewhat tied to them still themselves (like the need to sleep). Sebastian genuinely seems to be disassociated with the workings of the human body, that's why I don't think he has been a human before.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[simplegenius042]

Music Monday + "Your OC as cannibalism"

Tagged by @inafieldofdaisies

Tagging @socially-awkward-skeleton @adelaidedrubman @shallow-gravy @direwombat @strangefable @strafethesesinners @josephslittledeputy @josephseedismyfather @bitchofedensgate @carlosoliveiraa @g0dspeeed @vasiktomis @voidika @onehornedbeast @nightbloodbix @afarcryfrommymain @corvosattano @deputyash @deputy-morgan-malone @cassietrn @chazz-anova @softtidesworld @derelictheretic @ladyoriza @minilev @wrathfulrook @neverthesameneveranother @henbased @thewanderer-000 @fourlittleseedlings @vampireninjabunnies-blog @skoll-sun-eater and @dephellseed

Music for a story in The UnTitledverse, while the quizzes will be for three characters from the other series. You can find the quiz here. Song and results below the cut.

This song, although generally a FNAF song, somehow managed to fit Calvin's story in The Dark Awakening, a planned sequel of A Blast In The Past, where he discovers the truth behind his state of purgatory, who's behind it, and how to escape it.

"In a loop inside the screen Your own prison in a dream Try to run and try to scream Even death can't save you, we

Replay your nightmare Replay, play, play your nightmare Replay your nightmare Replay, play, play your nightmare

Get in a cage While we rattle it While we rattle it Our eternal revenge We know what you did We know what you did It's Me, It's me, it's me We're all here just for you Get in a cage While we rattle it While we rattle it FOREVER

Torture, torture, don't you know How your seeds of evil grow?

Replay your nightmare 'Cause tables turn Replay your nightmare And it's your time to hurt."

On to the quiz results! For antagonists no less!

Paul Yellowjack (Far Cry The Silver Chronicles, Old Dusk the New Dawn Arc)

Paul just got called out. While his... diet in Old Dusk is more literal, this result does reveal a bit about himself. Paul's (familial) love for Silva is strong and without a doubt true, however, its this co-dependence which leads his love to become obsessive, as if he is the only one that understands her. While he knows her more than most, he hasn't known how much she's changed from the young woman he watched grow up on the Archipelagos. He longs for their connection, even when he himself admits that he does not deserve it, its the only thing that keeps him relatively sane. The "believed in magic" part comes to cruelly bite him in the ass when he is (reincarnated? resurrected? restored with horrifying abilities? IDK) and now as a swarm of wasps must seek out bodies/corpses in order to feed/puppeteer around and interact with people.

Frederick Rosemary (Life, Despair & Monsters)

I'd feel bad for him if I didn't know just how disgusting of a character he is. Frederick is all for going for the "fine" and forbidden/taboo things in life. His emptiness leads him to going the deep end of making people (especially children's) lives as miserable as possible. This man is wanted by the feds and would be on a watch list if it was common knowledge he was alive and some kind of cyborg. The fact Malvolio of all people sees him as a friend and close companion should tip off how screwed up this man is.

Aggravor the Accursed (A Radioactive Calamity of Love, Bombs & Gore, a Fallout fanfic series)

Aggravor is a nearly 3,000 year old human-turned-Lich that worked alongside a powerful inhuman warlock (from another dimension) named Arcane Urias, becoming one of the first official disciples of the Occult, a cult Urias founded to worship the Mad God of Carnage, Discord. Aggravor is being tutored under Urias' wing to learn more about older magic, beyond the basics and newest spells. Aggravor wants to become something more than what he originally was. He wants to be remembered as the most powerful spellcaster and curse-user who either succeeded or was second best to the likes of Urias and the Court King. Aggravor even manages to defeat or even fatally take out powerful casters like the Pumpkin King (an old-world supernatural being from medieval times) and Ore Brantley (one of Urias rebellious children). He was however outclassed and lost an eye in a fight with Ress Bishop (Urias remaining rebellious child). A thousand years later, he does achieve his life-long goal, for however short it is.