#but once had an idea that telling the true started with them both submerged and Alecto just unpromptedly started bluntly blurting out stuff

[cutetanuki-chan]

do you have any alecto/anastasia hcs?

I think my biggest hc is that Anastasia wanted to be present at laying Alecto down in the tomb, but something went not as planned, cause she helped design it and it's her house, where is she

and not quite a hc but I want Alecto snatch some of Anastasia's bones before leaving the tomb

but tbh the moment I got the ask my mind completely blanked out on everything I was thinking about them, I'll add more to this post if I remember some of it

but thank you for asking!

[rosewaterdiaries]

there is so much hatred and disgust but mostly contempt i've been seeing in my sister's eyes for a few months now; i used to hope that at least she would keep my side or at least remain neutral about me in our family. as much as my parents commentary on my life hurts i got used to it as in it is not surprising to me anymore even if sudden.

it's like she stepped onto being a mean girl once again, like she was back as a teen in school bc of her friend's influence. to me it seems like all that hatred or at least most of it is happening on a projection basis - she's seeing things in me that she can't allow herself for. it hurts, especially when there was this one point since the pandemic where it seems like we've started bonding on an adult level but then something happened and it was never the same. alongside that she'd been getting into fights with our parents and tasted more of the abuse i've had to deal with, witch of course was unpleasant to say the least. it seems like she has chosen the "easy" way out - to submerge her true intenities she's started to discover and fall into behaviour and "solutions" of my parents, our mother, namely. all of that makes me even more alone in the world but if it was just about loneliness it wouldn't hurt as much as it does now.

it was mostly i who used to confront her about our issues even if she was the one who started them and i was okay with that as long as it worked but it doesn't now. and i feel so guilty but i haven't done anything out of ordinary wrong; i always apologize and tried to make things work. i absolutely hate the person she seems to pretend to be, the one that's unbothered but that's only bc of overlooking issues and feeling like she cannot do any wrong with me. tbh, at time she reminds me of my self from early months/years of the pandemic when i was mad at my father (and rightfully so, bc of years of abuse) that even if he did something good i was just remotely happy about it and kept that barrier between us. but the thing with that is that i did that bc i knew he did it mostly to manipulate and bribe me and with my sister i never do that and i never abused her - the only thing was childhood fights which i apologized for, for which she never apologized for. the story i tell myself is that when those tiktoks about older sister trauma started emerging she suddenly saw an opportunity to blame her hurt onto me, a person that is open to hearing another person out, apologize and give reparations. it makes a lot of sense since both of our parents don't care about that, and since she couldn't deal with that herself, this parentificated version of me would have to do. this is so unhealthy; and it all started happening after finishing family therapy on a bad note - i feel like it's been dragging after us ever since then, that even if something nice happens and it's good the default is that i'm the one to blame things onto, i'm the official black sheep and the scapegoat of the family.

seeing how much i've already written here about all of that family shit i've been dealing with for half of my life now scares me, bc of how much space and time it occupies in my mind. i wish i could be liberated. i wish i can do things i've dreamt of ever since i was a child and a teen. i want to be that person for myself. it is hard. it is hard to leave. it feels guilting to even think about that because i know how precious life is and how each moment can be the last with those closest to us. it seems like they don't look at life like that ever since my brother died. for me it was life changing in that way that i've seriously started caring more about people and human connections. i hate this capitalistic idea of individualism and i'm saying that as an introvert and a person who likes to be by themselves; bc even with those traits we need each other, we need community, we need community love and care. and i want that in my life, and it feels like i seriously have to let go of some people but that is so scary, that's my whole life that i've been with them. why can't it at least happen on a good note...

i feel angry about having to write those entries but that seems to be the only way to deal with it now... so much time wasted? but at least now i have a clearer view on it... i guess... wish i could just be... maybe i will soon be like that, like i felt on that solo trip abroad, that suddenly with more space in my mind i had space for ideas concerning me and creativity. i'm rooting for myself. i'd like to change some things about my life but i don't want to be doing those things just so these people get the satisfaction of being "right"... what i mean is... i too know certain things suck and want to change them ((like - hellooo?? i'm the one who suffers the most bc of them??)) but the issue is that i would want people to treat me nicely, care about me and love me even when i'm struggling, even when i'm not at my best; i know i would do those things for them... so ig what i'm trying to say is, if i got better, got my life more in order and they would start being nice to me it would feel like i only deserve love in that shape.... i seriously need to go to a therapist, i need an adult to talk about those issues with....

it hurts,, why despite trying so hurt some people always hurt me on purpose?

and the worst part is that i can't even talk things out with her bc she just goes silent or start screaming more awful things at me. there is no conversation pit, just corners.

[cyclonesyndicate]

The End Of The World | Niflheim | Trial 6.3

"Uh, yes I-" At NULL's outburst about the meteorite shard, Xander started to respond before... Tempest entered the room. No longer a little kitty cat in a detective's hat, but their true human form. That's definitely more important than discussing that little incident. Honestly this was great, Xander had been wondering if anyone was going to tell Sly Tony that his beloved boss was dead and was also a cat and had been trying to think of a way to broach the topic but... Now he didn't have to. Thank god. "Welcome Tempest, tis good to see thou in this form at last!"

There's a bit of discussion about the plans they found, and the mastermind's technical abilities which causes Xander to think on that a moment. He can't really say much on that subject, it really feels like a tough point to nail to someone. "It.. Does narrow it down a bit if we think about it like that. Ragnarok is either someone with the funds to commission such wretched devices or someone with the technical know-how to build them themself." But it won't due to start pointing a figure all willy-nilly. So it's onto other evidence, and a topic Xander was quite happy to speak about.

"Speaking of Ragnarok, let us discuss that concept itself for a moment, shall we? I believe the name may give us a clue or to as to the person who picked such an excellent moniker for themself!" You can practically see the sparkles in his eyes as he starts up on one of his favorite topics of conversation, Norse Mythology. "Ragnarok itself, or rather Ragnarøkkr means Twilight of the Gods in old Norse, tis the end of the known world, resulting in the deaths of numerous great figures and natural disasters that would end in the world submerged in water. However tis not the true end, as the world will rise once more from this state and begin anew. Tis both an end and a beginning!"

He claps his hands together with a smile, and continues. "So, we have a clear parallel in our own Ragnarok already! Their plan to end all evil in the world with the meteorite and usher in a new age mirrors the idea of the gods deaths and disasters leading into a new age in the myth. However, I believe there's likely more to glean from the myth. For example, there is a prophecy given early on in the story that echoes this death game our Ragnarok hath put us in. 'Brothers shall kill each other, sisters shall define kinship, an axe age, a sword age, a wind age, a wolf age, the world shall go headlong with naught a single man having mercy upon another.' That's a bit of a paraphase but you can surely see the conenction."He recites the bit with only barely restrained excitement, his hands gesturing wildly as he talks.

"Now onto the individual events! The world tree, Yggdrasil begins to grown and shudder, the great serpent Jörmungandr causes storms and great waves, The fire jotun, lead by Surtr and his flaming sword begin to invade. The sun itself vanishes as Fenrir, the great wolf breaks free of his bindings and devours it. Fenrir then sets upon the gods, in particular killing Odin, the leader of the gods who was leading their charge into battle. The god Thor is killed by the serpent, the god Freyr falls to Surtr, who then buries the world in flames as all the stars go dark, burning the world up to even the heavens before it is submerged in water. After a time it emerges from the water, growing anew, while the few humans left take over the world from the remaining gods, who council is fractured. Tis a bit of a weak summary I must admit, there's also the great eagle Hræsvelgr and what a number of other gods such as Hel and Loki were up to but I don't want to go into too much detail, there's just so much but it's all quite fascinating and-"

He cuts himself off, a little embarrassed, and puts his hands on the table in front of him. Okay, time to rein it in a little there, Xander. Let the others process all of that. Stop talking, let someone else have the floor. 

"Well. In any case, I think there's definitely a connection to be drawn from the events themselves, especially in conjunction with the other evidence we've found. Tis a name loaded with meaning indeed." 

[mrsmount16]

Hey I was wondering if you could write a MM imagine where him and the reader have only gone on a couple of dates then when the announcement of the first lockdown is made he asks the reader to isolate with him? Then I was thinking while they’re isolating they’re experiencing a few Firsts with each other (e.g., cooking together, sharing a bed, movie nights, cuddles and kisses etc).

I didn't know how to write this without being super long and boring so I was going to section it off but hopefully it still gives off the same energy then a normal write lmao, also thank you for the request and this is such a good idea 😩. I didn't really know what other firsts to do😕 I haven’t proof read this either, so it could make no sense at all and probably have spelling mistakes but pls just power through it 🤞🏼

Warning: None.

Lockdown was being announced and everyone was panicking, the news emphasised on the amount of food people were buying and how there was no loo roll left but also about how relationships weren't going to work out due to being locked in the houses for all this time without seeing your significant other or because you was seeing them too much.

You had only been on a couple of dates with Mason, but you both knew that you wanted to pursue something more personal and deep and not just mess around for the fun of it. Thats why when he asked you to isolate with him you didn't hesitate to say yes. Even though the news told you otherwise of how to feel you simply ignored and couldn't wait to spend as much time with him as possible, building up a true connection between you both and making your bond stronger.

Cuddling and kisses and sharing a bed.

You arrived earlier in the day and had already taken your things to the spare bedroom and now sat on his couch, him on the opposite side. You guys hadn't stopped talking throughout the whole movie that played and eventually when it ended you insisted that you bought a takeaway for the both of you.

He agreed and when the pizza arrived you both sat at the table and had a slice, talking endlessly about random things like 'why colours are named what they are' and 'how were humans created'. After about an hour, it was dark out and just turned 9pm.

"I'm gonna get comfy and ready for bed."

"Yeah, I'll meet you up there in a few." He smiled and kissed your cheek, grabbing the box and walking off outside.

It was pretty cold out so you pulled on a hoodie and joggers, and you removed your makeup and cleaned your face and teeth and sat on the bed in the free room on your phone.

He knocked on the door and peaked his head through the door frame at about 10.

"You coming?" He gestures to his room.

"Oh yeah, hold up." You smile watching him leave.

He lay on the bed on his phone, lighting up when he saw you enter.

"You don't have to stay in here if you don't want to." He stated, watching as you climbed into bed next to him.

"No, I want to." You snuggled up next to him, resting your head on the pillow.

"I want you to, too." He put an arm around your waist and finally rested down after turning the light off on the bedside table.

You were both submerged in complete darkness, a tranquil atmosphere surrounded you both, the duvet lazily spread across you and your faces faced each other. His eyes were closed, but you lightly leaned in and pecked his lips causing him to open his eyes.

"Goodnight." You said, looking up at him.

"Goodnight pretty." He smiled, kissing you again lightly and resting his head.

You fell asleep in his arms, totally engulfed with his care and serenity, it rubbed off onto you. This was the best sleep you ever had in ages, and you wanted to do it a lot more.

Cooking.

"Hey! Thats not where the flour goes." You retaliated at Mason putting the flour on your nose, a sneeze followed shortly after.

"Oh, my bad." He giggled, sticking the rest of the flour in the bowl.

"These are going to be the best cupcakes you have ever baked."You said, mixing all the ingredients with all the strength you had.

"Yeah? I reckon by myself I could cook some pretty good cupcakes. With no help of Course." He leaned against the counter, his apron said 'world best chef' and he was covered in all ingredients that you didn't even know had to be in the cupcakes.

"Well, we will see about that once you taste my cakes." You smirked, sticking your tongue out at him and wiping a little bit of frosting on his cheek. "Got u back." You giggled.

He grabbed you by your waist and pulled you closer to him so your front's were together.

"You look amazing cooking.." He cheekily smiled.

"Not too bad yourself." You kissed him, he deepened the kiss and ran his hand up your back, until you felt a hard crack on your head and then an ooze of a liquid go down your back, mason was laughing uncontrollably, holding his stomach and near enough rolling on the floor.

"Mason!" You shouted, shocked and holding your head, "Did you just egg me?" You laughed, grabbing the egg that was on you and smearing it all over him.

"Two can play that game!" You giggled, grabbing flower and eggs.

Fight and makeup.

"No, I just don't particularly like her. You told me about what she did, she's a bad influence." He argued back.

"Oh, so she's a bad influence? So you think I would do something like that?" You scoffed. Your friend invited you to go on a walk around the park, and you told Mason but when he heard your friends name he instantly scoffed and shrugged his shoulders. He had no care about it and sighed, telling you to just 'do what you wanna, your choice at the end of the day.'. You asked why he was being so moody and he replied that he doesn't like her, and you understood why but because he didn't like her didn't mean that you couldn't hang with her. You did tell him that she did cheat on her boyfriend and you completely disagreed with her actions too but now he was saying she was a 'bad influence' like you was going to be influenced by what she did and start following her actions like you was a child.

"Its only for a catch up Mase, I haven't seen her in like 3 weeks. I haven't been at work remember and ive been locked up here."

"Yes, but anyone but her. We could go. I't doesn't matter, just go. Ill see you when you get back." And then he stormed off up to his gaming room, releasing all his stress on his games.

After about 40 minutes, you realised he was right, it wasn't just the cheating but she just overall was a bad person and you shouldn't have been encouraging such gossip with her.

You entered his room and put your hands on his shoulders, he looked back at you and then carried on his game like you wasn't even there.

"I'm sorry Mase, you was right. I can surround myself with much better people, and I will."

He turned his chair around so he was facing you and grabbed your hips to sit you down on his lap.

"It's okay, and ill go on that walk with you. Let me just finish this game." He said, smiling lightly and giving you a kiss which you returned.

Go-to support.

It was about 2 months into lockdown and your work had been piling up. You was stressed and so not motivated to do anything, even getting up out of bed was hard.

This day was particularly a struggle. You had to finish a presentation and only had today to do it, so you panicked and speeded it, finishing it as quick as ou could without caring about the outcome and just sending it off.

You sat at the kitchen table with your face in your hands, thinking about all the possibilities, will you lose your job? Will you get demoted? You just couldn't stop your mind from wandering.

"Are you okay babe?" You heard Masons voice from behind you and felt a hand on your back soothing you.

You couldn't hold it in anymore and broke down, whimpering and wiping your eyes.

"Mason I need a break from work, its so stressful and I think with the work I just did I'm going to lose my job and im just not motivated to do anything and I-" you rambled on, until he cut you off.

"Hey, hey calm down," He crouched down and placed his hand on the side of your face, wiping your tears away with his thumb. "Don't beat yourself up about it. It's happening to everyone now, im sure if we ask your work to give you some time for your mental health im sure they would let you." he smiled reassuringly.

"We?" You sniffed.

"Yeah, we. We're gonna get through this together. Now, it's always we." He stood up and hugged you tight.

Love and a movie night.

It's been about a 5 months now, and you and Mason had been going strong.

Mason insisted that you watch a movie tonight, sit down with some popcorn and snuggle up together. Of course you said yes.

About halfway in the movie, a conversation popped up about 'what would you do if you was a worm?' and you couldn't stop laughing, at both of your responses.

"Yeah, but I would definitely still love you if you was a worm." He joked, laughing with you.

You stopped almost instantly, looking over at him.

"What?" He looked over, confused.

"Did you just say that you love me?" You questioned, sitting up.

"You didn't hear? I love you." He smiled, chuckling.

you gasped, putting your hands over your mouth. He reached out and grabbed your face.

"I love you." He repeated, just for you to realise what he did, so you could know that it was real, to process the words.

"I love you." You stated, grinning from ear to ear.

[marauders-venting]

This Love

pairing: wolfstar (remus x sirius)

genre: fluff & angst

warnings: mentions of drowning, child abuse, physical abuse, death/murder, war, grief and guilt

words: 3679

note: based on the song ‘This Love’ by Taylor Swift

a/n: this is a request I got from someone on Instagram :)

okay I know that sirius ran away from home at 16 and they’re not supposed to use magic outside of Hogwarts until their 17 but uhhh idk just pretend that sirius ran away at 17. or that they can do magic at 16, whatever you prefer

Clear blue water, high tide came and brought you in and I could go on and on, on and on, and I will. Skies grew darker, currents swept you out again and you were just gone and gone, gone and gone. In silent screams, in wildest dreams I never dreamed of this

“Hey,” Remus said, waving as he saw Sirius approaching. His nervous expression rearranged itself into a smile when he saw Remus.

“Remus!” Sirius said, rushing towards him and hugging him. The embrace is quick and short, Sirius pulling back as quickly as he came in, but it’s enough to make Remus’ heart pound ridiculously fast in his chest. “I’d ask you how your summer’s been but I guess I already know,” Sirius added with a laugh. Remus smiled. They had been exchanging letters back and forth all summer long. Not that they didn’t usually write to each other over breaks but Remus was pretty sure this summer they had broken the world record for most letters sent in a month.

Remus had planned on using this time away from Sirius to try and get over his crush but the second he saw Sirius walking around the beach he knew he had failed. If anything, being away from Sirius, missing him, had only made Remus’ feelings of longing more intense.

“Come on, let’s sit,” Remus said. He had already spread a towel out on the sand near the water before when he was waiting for Sirius and they sat on it now. “How’d you manage to get away in the end?”

“I just snuck out the window,” Sirius said, shrugging. “And then I took a taxi like you taught me and I used the muggle money you sent me. I will pay you back for that by the way.”

“Don’t bother,” Remus said. “Think of it as me paying you back for all the chocolate you bought me on the last Hogsmeade visit at the end of last year. Nobody knows you’re gone?”

“Nah, they’re not expecting me down for dinner anyway so it’ll be fine.”

“You sure?” Remus asked nervously.

“Yeah,” Sirius said. Remus wasn’t convinced. “Hey, come on, don’t worry about them. We’re here now, let’s enjoy it.” Sirius flopped back on the towel, lying on his back, arms stretched up above his head, shirt riding up and revealing a strip of skin above the waistband of his pants that Remus was actively trying to avoid staring at. Sirius was right. They had discussed this all summer, planning exactly how they would make it work. He wouldn’t ruin it by worrying now that they were finally here.

“Yeah, okay,” Remus said, smiling. And lying down next to Sirius. He looked up at the sky. It was a brilliant orange now, the rays of the setting sun giving it the colour. “You feel like going for a swim?”

“Okay,” Sirius said, grinning. They raced into the ocean, spraying each other water so they were soaked before they even got in past their knees. Remus kept going deeper until only his head was above water.

“Come on, Moony, that’s not fair, I can’t stand here,” Sirius complained, treading water beside him.

“Then swim,” Remus replied.

“Swimming is the one thing that I’m not the best at,” Sirius admitted grudgingly.

“What, all that old family money and your parents never paid for swimming lessons?” Remus teased but he followed Sirius back to the shallows.

“I think they were hoping I’d just drown actually,” Sirius said once he could stand. “I wonder why Reg never got any swimming lessons though. Well, it’ll be on their conscience if he ever drowns. If they even have a conscience, that is.”

“What if you drown?”

“Oh, it definitely wouldn’t be a weight on their conscience. They’d probably pat themselves on the back and go ‘see, this is what happens to gay, Gryffindor, blood traitors.”

“That’s… really fucked up,” Remus said. Sirius shrugged and submerged his head in the water. When he came back up, Remus splashed him in the face, starting a short water fight that Remus had clearly won (no matter what Sirius said).

They didn’t stay in the ocean much longer because the lower the sun sank, the colder the water got. They got out of the water, dried themselves with their wands and then sat back down on their beach towel. The blue water was crystal clear and above it, the sky now looked pink. It was a beautiful sight. But Remus was watching Sirius’ face instead. His wind-swept hair, blue-grey eyes squinting at the setting sun, rays of orange light giving his skin a golden look. Remus’ heart was beating loudly in his ears.

“What?” Sirius asked when he noticed Remus’ staring. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Normally this would be the point where Remus would look away hurriedly, his face burning, claiming that he wasn’t looking at Sirius and joking that he should deflate his ego because not everything was about him. And maybe it was the way Sirius looked today, different from what Remus was used to, in a different setting or maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t seen Sirius in weeks and his resolve had weakened, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away today.

“Moony,” Sirius said. Remus’ heart skipped a beat. “What? Is it my hair?” Sirius’ hand reached up into his hair and ran his fingers through it. It looked both messier and neater somehow. Remus didn’t understand it. Remus would never admit it out loud, not after the number of times he had teased Sirius about it, but Sirius’ hair was every bit as perfect as his arrogant ass claimed it was.

“It’s you,” Remus said, without thinking. “Just… all of you.” Sirius looked at him, eyes wide.

“W-What do you mean?”

“I—” Remus started, when suddenly it hit him what he was about to do. What the fuck was wrong with him? He was going to tell Sirius. He was actually going to do it. “Nevermind,” he mumbles, looking away and blushing as he should’ve done a minute ago when Sirius had caught him staring in the first place.

“What? No, come on, Remus, just tell me,” Sirius teased. Remus shrugged. Sirius turned around so he was facing Remus.

“Remus,” he said, “whatever it is you can tell me. I’m here for you, no matter what.” Remus hesitated.

“Promise you won’t hate me?” he said. He felt stupid asking the question because even if Sirius did promise, it wasn’t a binding contract. Sirius couldn’t control his hatred. Nobody could.

“I promise,” Sirius said. “I could never hate you, Remus.” He looked genuine but Remus knew better than to believe it was true. Promises are broken more often than they’re kept. But not with Sirius, he thinks. Sirius has never broken a promise he made to Remus. Not once. Well, he’s about to, said a voice in his head. Remus tried to ignore that voice as he spoke.

“Okay,” Remus let out a shaky breath. “Okay. I… I like you, Sirius. Like, um, a lot.” Sirius remained silent for a moment.

“I like you too, Rem,” he said quietly. Remus felt his chest burn.

“You don’t understand,” he said, shaking his head. Because Sirius couldn’t… he couldn’t possibly… But his thoughts are interrupted when Sirius speaks again

“Oh, I think I do,” Sirius said. Remus opened his mouth to reply but Sirius got there first. “Can… can I kiss you?” Remus closed his mouth.

“W-What?” he stuttered, his brain taking several moments to process what Sirius had just said to him.

“We don’t have to,” Sirius said hurriedly. “I was only—” But Remus cut him off by pressing their lips together. In a rush of adrenaline, fear and excitement he ignores the voice in his head saying this is a bad idea, that he misunderstood something, that this isn’t really what Sirius wants and instead he listens to Sirius. He hears Sirius’ voice echoing inside his head. Can I kiss you? Can I kiss you? Can I kiss you? Yes, you bloody well can. This is all Remus has wanted, what he’s been dreaming about for months. But not even in his wildest dreams could he have imagined what it would be like to really kiss Sirius. To have Sirius kiss him back. To thread his fingers in Sirius’ hair and feel Sirius’ hands pressing into his back, holding him close. And with all of Remus’ expansive vocabulary, he couldn’t think of a single word to describe this feeling that could even come close to how extraordinary it is. All he could think was Sirius. Sirius is touching me. Sirius is holding me. Sirius is kissing me.

When they break apart, they’re both breathless. Remus can’t think straight. Everything in his brain is one big mess.

“You— I— we just…” Remus has seemingly forgotten how to speak. And the grin on Sirius’ face is definitely not helping.

“Told you I understand,” Sirius said, taking Remus’ hand in his.

“You actually… like me?” Remus asked, bewildered.

“Um, yeah,” Sirius said, laughing as if it had been obvious. “For, like, a really long time.”

“I– why didn’t you say anything?” Remus asked.

“I could ask you the same,” Sirius said, shrugging. “But I don’t think it matters much. What matters is that I like you and you like me and…”

“And?” Remus prompted. Sirius looked him in the eyes and bit his lip.

“And I’d like to, um… take you out. On a date. Sometime. If that’s something that you might be interested in?” He said it like a question, looking nervous up at him.

“Yeah, I– of course, I–I’d love to go on a date with you,” Remus said. He could feel himself blushing. God, he was so awkward. Sirius cupped his cheeks with his hand, leaning towards closer again, ghosting his lips on Remus’.

“Your face is warm,” he said, his lips brushing against Remus’ mouth as he spoke, which only made Remus blush harder.

“Well no fucking shit,” Remus said, rolling his eyes. And then he kissed Sirius properly, fitting their mouths together like it was the most natural thing in the world.

When the sun had gone down, they finally left the beach, each going back to his own home. Remus hadn’t known how badly Sirius would be punished for sneaking out the following day; if he had he might have never agreed to it. Or might have told Sirius not to go home.

It was that summer that Sirius finally decided to run away from home for good. Remus couldn’t help but feel guilty no matter how many times Sirius told him that he would have done it anyway. Besides, meeting at the beach was Sirius’ idea, not Remus’. But Remus couldn’t forget the moment he finally understood just how terrible things had been at the Black household.

He remembered going over to the Potter’s house after getting a letter from James saying that Sirius was staying with him. He remembered being horrified when he saw Sirius’. Bruised and scarred from the blows that his own parents struck and curses that they fired at him. That night he cradled Sirius, holding him close and promising that he would take care of Sirius, that Sirius was safe with him. He told Sirius that he loved him and that he always will. It had never occurred to him that maybe Sirius wouldn’t say the same about him.

Tossing, turning, struggled through the night with someone new and I could go on and on, on and on. Lantern, burning, flickered in the night, only you but you were still gone, gone, gone

Everything had changed in a single night. In a single night, he had lost Lily, James and Peter. He’d lost Sirius too but not in the same way. He’d lost them all because of Sirius. Sirius had killed them. And in doing so, Sirius had been lost as well. He hadn’t died but Remus counted him with the losses. He might as well have died. He’s dead to me, Remus thinks, he doesn’t matter. He killed them. He killed them all. It was all him. The man that he knew had died. Remus had wondered how long ago it had happened.

He had been tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep from fear of the war, images of everyone he had lost, turning to Sirius for comfort. To someone he thought loved him. But this was someone else. Someone new. This wasn’t the boy he’d fallen in love with.

Remus remembered laying in bed the night before everything had gone to hell. It felt like a million years ago, but he remembered it all the same. He remembered how Sirius hadn’t spoken to him in the weeks before. He remembered devising a plan to find out if Sirius still loved him. Because that’s what he did best. At school, he devised plans for pranks. After school, he helped devise plans for the Order. He was good at planning ahead. So he made a plan. Because he couldn’t go on living in the same apartment as Sirius, sleeping in the same bed without exchanging a word, not knowing whether Sirius still reciprocated his feelings. His plan kept him sane. But his plan had failed. Or maybe it had succeeded. It just hadn’t given him the results he’d been hoping for. Because when he got into bed that night, he waited long enough that Sirius would think he was asleep. Then he turned towards Sirius and brushed his fingers on Sirius’ back. And Sirius got up and walked away. And just like that, the last flame of hope Remus had left flicked out.

Remus remembered thinking that Sirius had fallen out of love. But maybe he hadn’t. Maybe he had simply never loved Remus in the first place. Maybe this wasn’t someone new at all. Maybe this person, this murderer, was in fact the very same boy he’d fallen in love with all those years ago. Maybe this was all part of some sick scheme. Maybe Sirius had hated him all along. Sirius had promised he would never hate Remus. But what is a promise, really? Promises are made to be broken. Remus had to learn that time and time again. He should just stop believing people when they make promises. He wouldn’t believe anymore, he told himself. He promised himself. There was nobody left to believe. Nobody left to promise him anything anyway. Sirius was gone. They were all gone, all his friends. And they’re never coming back.

Your kiss, my cheek, I watched you leave. Your smile, my ghost, I fell to my knees.

Remus’ world is on fire. Everything has burned the ground and he’s left to scrape away the ashes and try to find something he can put back together. Alone.

He can still feel the sting of Sirius’ lips against his cheek. He can still remember Sirius’ easy smile, his light-hearted laughter ringing through the walls of the room that Remus is in right now. But then he blinks again and now he’s seeing Sirius’ face on a ‘wanted’ poster for the first time. He doesn’t remember how he found the poster that night. It’s not important anyway. All he remembers is the feeling of looking down and seeing a photo of the love of his life behind bars, arrested for the murder of his three best friends. He remembers collapsing. Literally, falling to his knees as quickly as the tears fell down his cheeks. He remembers crying, sobbing, screaming out. 

He remembers thinking of every happy moment he’d ever had with his friends, with his boyfriend. He’d never make any more memories like that. He had felt empty that day. Hollow. That feeling still hasn’t gone away. Remus feels like a ghost. A ghost of the memories from before this all happened. He haunts himself. But Remus is not a ghost. He’s the only one still left alive. He’d rather be a ghost right now. He’d rather be dead. At least then he wouldn’t feel this pain. At least then he wouldn’t feel like he’s been pulled apart. Nobody can glue him back together now. There’s nobody left alive that would try. There’s nobody left alive, period. Nobody but him.

This love is good, this love is bad, this love is alive back from the dead, oh, oh, oh. These hands had to let it go free, and this love came back to me, oh, oh, oh. This love left a permanent mark, this love is glowing in the dark, oh, oh, oh. These hands had to let it go free, and this love came back to me, oh, oh, oh

Sirius has been staying at Remus’ apartment for a couple of days now, sleeping on the couch in Remus’ living room. It’s been weeks since that night he found out the truth. The night he nearly killed everybody he cared about. The few still left alive. The night he saw Sirius again for the first time in twelve years. It’s been weeks but Remus can’t figure out how he feels about Sirius after everything they’ve been through. On one hand, Remus can’t believe how unbelievably lucky he is to have Sirius back. He can’t believe that Sirius is here. That he’s innocent. And he wants things to go back to how they were. He knows that’s impossible but he wishes it could happen.

But on the other hand, there are still so many complications, so many questions. Is being together wise? Is it advisable? Is it responsible? Even if Sirius wasn’t still a wanted criminal, would they be able to repair their relationship? To pick up their shattered love and piece it back together? They’d been through so much together and so much apart. Remus isn’t the same person he was 12 years ago and neither is Sirius. Does Sirius even still love him? Does he still love Sirius, after everything? He buried those feelings deep, deep down inside him on the night of Sirius’ arrest. Are they still there? Do they still exist, locked somewhere in the depths of his heart? Remus is sure they do. What else could be squeezing in his chest every time he looks at Sirius? It’s like a game of tug-a-war in his mind, back and forth. This love is good, this love is bad.

All this is why, right now, when Sirius is saying that they need to talk and they’re seated in the living room side by side on the couch, Remus feels like words are failing him. He’s disappeared into his own head until Sirius’ words snap him out of it, his voice ringing in Remus’ head.

“Remus?”

“Yeah?” he says, sounding dazed.

“I–I just want you to know that I never meant to hurt you. I would never intentionally hurt you, Remus, I promise.” His eyes pleaded with Remus to believe him. Remus had promised himself that he would never believe people when they make promises. But here he was, believing again. Never believe a promise, even when you’re the one making the promise to yourself. Especially when you make the promise to yourself.

“I—” Sirius starts again, seeing that Remus doesn’t know what to say. He closes his eyes and takes a breath before continuing. “I still love you, Remus. And I understand if you don’t feel the same anymore, really I get it. But I just thought you should know. I’ll always love you.” Remus can barely breathe. Sirius still loves him. This is a bad idea, says a voice in his head. Fuck good and bad. Remus doesn’t care. The important this is that this love is fucking alive. It died. And now it’s back. Back from the dead. Sirius is back. He came back to me, Remus thinks. He’s innocent. He came back and now he’s telling me he still loves me. Sirius is here. Remus desperately wants this to be real. He wants them to be real again.

Sirius’ love left a permanent mark on Remus. Not like his scars. This is something different. More like a tattoo. Something that he’d chosen at first and couldn’t get rid of later. In all the years that Sirius had been in Azkaban, in all the years Remus had willed himself to forget Sirius, to hate him, the tattoo had never faded. And now that Sirius is back, Remus doesn’t have to want it to fade. So in a lapse of judgement, he kisses Sirius. He kisses Sirius and that tiny flame that had flickered out all those years ago is back. Remus feels it fill him up as Sirius kisses him back, hands in hair, arms around waists, fingertips on bare skin. And when they break apart, Remus still feels the warmth of Sirius’ body against his.

“I missed you so much,” Sirius murmurs against his lips and Remus feels like he’s back on that beach the first time he kissed Sirius.

“I missed you too,” Remus says, a tear trickling down his face.

“Really?” Sirius asks, pulling away to look at Remus with his eyebrows raised. “But you thought I was a murderer?”

“I know,” Remus says. “I didn’t want to miss you. But I did. I couldn’t help it. I wanted you back.”

“I’m back now,” Sirius says, hugging Remus tightly. “I’m back and I’m never leaving. And I’m all yours, love.”

“I never stopped loving you,” Remus whispers in his ear, tears spilling from his eyes even though they’re squeezed shut. “I hated myself for it. But I loved you every day you were locked in that cell. And I still love you now.”

“I love you too,” Sirius whispers back.

It’s the only light in this crushing, suffocating darkness of death and war and grief and guilt. That flame, his and Sirius’ love, glows amidst the dark. And it’s what keeps Remus going. And this time, Remus will never let go of Sirius.

[chenziee]

Cool your back.

I have a very cute LawLu prompt

Where Law is still a pirate some how becomes (little doses he know)the Fiance of the Goda kingdom's Cat God of freedom named Luffy(much to the world nobles dismay) and all of the high jinx that come along with it. And Luffy keeps popping up whenever Law doesn't/needs him. Good thing he's cute.

Thank youuu! Glad to be back :D though still super slow I’m sorry

I might have taken some liberties there with Luffy but I hope you like it! :)

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A Divine ball of fluff

[Read on AO3 | Request info | Ko-fi]

Law startled awake at the sound of gunfire and cannons somewhere above his head. Stepping over the lamp on the floor, he only briefly wondered just how it had managed to fall from his nightstand before he forced himself to focus. He only grabbed Kikoku, then ran out of his room to join his crew on deck, ready to murder whoever had come to disturb his sorely needed nap.

“Hand over Luffy and I might just let you go alive, Trafalgar Law!”

With the angry shout being the first thing Law had heard upon opening the door leading to the Tang’s deck, Law could only groan. Not again. “I keep telling you, old man—” Law slammed the door shut behind himself maybe more aggressively than strictly necessary before quickly striding over to the side of the ship to glare at Vice Admiral Garp—  “none of this was my choice! And your stupid grandson isn’t even here!”  

“Uhm, about that, Captain…” Bepo trailed off, quiet and apologetic.

Law took in a sharp breath, closing his eyes momentarily and praying for patience. “Don’t say it. I don’t want to hear it.”

“Sorry,” Bepo mumbled, dropping his head as if it was somehow his fault their regular ‘guest’ had invited himself over without any warning again.

Shaking his head, Law slowly looked at Garp again. The old man was fuming and not for the first time, Law marveled at the stubbornness of this entire family. No matter how many times he said ‘no’ to either one of them, they just kept coming back like a bad rash. Sometimes, Law couldn’t believe neither of the three brothers or their grandfather were related by blood. Hell, one of them wasn’t even human. But well… when it came down to it, Law couldn’t say he cared.

“Fine, take him,” he said finally, smirking at the loud crash from behind him that immediately followed.

“Torao~” someone whined before arms wrapped around Law’s waist

On reflex, one of Law’s legs shot forward as he braced for the impact of the entire body crashing into him a split second later. Why, just why did this man insist on lunging at people constantly? Law would never understand. He was lucky Law had managed to train his reactions well enough by now to not face plant into the railing anymore. “What?” he asked, smirk still shamelessly in place as he turned to look at the person who was hanging off of him.

The person—or rather, the god—in question was staring back at him with an unhappy frown and a pout on his lips. Law hated to admit he looked outright adorable then, and not just because of the cat ears sitting proudly on top of his head, alert and facing forward in agitation. Ears which were also covered in black, incredibly soft fur that Law would never get tired of petting.

Giving Law something that was probably supposed to be a glare, Luffy finally huffed before continuing, voice sounding incredibly sulky, “How could you just sell me out to gramps like this?”

“Because he could absolute keep you on his ship even if he did take you.      Sure,” Law replied in a tone dripping in sacrasm while he rolled his eyes at the dramatic complaints of the literal embodiement of freedom, the person who could and absolutely did materialize out of nowhere on the Polar Tang whenever he fucking felt like it, without any warning, for the sole purpose of driving Law absolutely crazy with his ideas, only to then disappear into thin air again once he got bored. While on the open sea, with the nearest land two days of sailing away.

“That’s not the point!” Luffy cried, his grip on Law’s waist tightening.

Before Law could say anything back, a canon ball landed a bit too close to the ship, causing a wave of seawater to wash over the both of them. Law cursed loudly at the unexpected and fully unwelcome shower, just as Luffy also hissed loudly; if he was in his full monster cat form, Law could just imagine his fur raising until he looked like a huge, black ball of pure fluff.

…Now Law wanted to see it. He made a mental note to find an opportunity to scare the shit out of him at some point later, when he was in his true form.

“What was that for?!” Luffy demanded when he recovered from the shock.

“A warning shot!” Garp retorted, sounding just as angry as Luffy did. “You get off that pirate ship before I drag you off myself!”

“I’m not going back to Goa! It’s stuffy and tiny and they keep burning down my shrines, I hate it there!”

Garp growled as he grabbed another cannon ball. “As if I care about the idiot king’s orders, I’m not going to give you to those scumbags and I don’t care where you go—” he paused to aim his cannon ball at them threateningly before he continued— “but you’re not becoming a pirate on my watch, you brat!”

Law heard Luffy taking a deep breath behind him, no doubt in preparation to go off on his adoptive grandfather, and he sighed. Before either of these idiots could say anything, Law snapped, “If you’re just going to keep screaming at each other, can I go?”

“No,” Luffy said immediately, digging his claws into Law’s stomach painfully.

At the same time, Garp said, “You stay right where you are, I’m not done with you either!”

Law sighed. Every goddamn time.

“Prepare to submerge,” Law said to Bepo tiredly before raising his hand. “Room. Shambles.”

Appearing back in his room a split second later, Law took a deep breath, giving himself a moment to appreciate the blessed silence—or the alternative of, which meant only muffled rage instead of people screaming right in his ear. Not ideal but he would take it anyway. Honestly, why couldn’t these two ever do anything quietly? This whole thing could be so easily resolved if they had just sat down and talked but no, they just had to go yelling at each other while throwing cannon balls and scratching the other’s face off. And Law never had a say in getting caught in the middle of it every damn time either.

Sometimes, he cursed the day the Tang landed on Dawn Island, the place where all his problems started. But really, he couldn’t with clear conscience say that if he were to relive that day, that he wouldn’t do exactly the same thing; that he wouldn’t stop at the tiny, ancient looking shrine to talk to the young man sitting in front of it. That he wouldn’t answer every question Luffy had about the world beyond his small domain, that he wouldn’t look into those large, excited eyes and invite him to leave with him.

But, as stupid as it was regardless, if he could do it over, at the very least, would now actually know he was accidentally proposing to a literal god; one that was incredibly stuborn, selfish, and bright enough to be the actual sun. A god who also came in a package with a crazy grandfather, two over protective brothers, and the softest, warmest fur Law had ever had the pleasure of touching.

“Thanks for getting me away,” Luffy said after he made himself comfortable on Law’s bed, the anger and raw power that had been radiating off of him only moments ago replaced by his usual happy and carefree attitude.

Law clicked his tongue. “I was getting myself away. Not my fault you were clinging to me like a child.”

“Same thing.” Luffy waved him off.

Law didn’t have the energy to argue. Simply shaking his head at him, he instead bent down to put the lamp he had ignored earlier back on his nightstand.

“Weird how this was on the floor. I distinctly remember it was screwed on tight just yesterday,” Law noted, giving Luffy a pointed stare. Now that he knew this giant, ridiculously strong cat was on the ship, Law had no doubt just how the lamp got knocked off. Briefly, Law wondered whether there was even a point putting it back until Luffy left; he was probably going to knock it off again while staring at it with morbid fascination as it crashed to the floor again and again.

Law watched as Luffy’s eyes veered off to the side, his lips pursing as he mumbled, “Yeah, that’s super weird.”

Huffing out a small laugh, Law crossed the short distance between them, reaching out to ruffle Luffy’s hair. It was almost as soft as his fur was. “I know. A complete mystery,” he said with a smirk before he leaned down, pressing his lips to Luffy’s briefly.

The kiss was easily returned, a wide grin spreading on Luffy’s lips as soon as they separated, and despite himself, Law felt himself smile back. That damn smile would be the death of him. No matter how maddening this man could be, how loud and selfish, the moment he smiled like that, it was like all Law’s problems and frustrations were melting away. Luffy was simply beautiful; adorable and bright, yet absolutely terrifying and Law loved every little bit of it.

It was funny, actually. If someone had told him he would ever say ‘Luffy’ and ‘love’ in the same sentence just half a year ago, Law would have laughed in their face. Back then, Luffy was only some incredibly annoying giant cat who just wouldn’t leave him alone, someone who popped up on the Tang or wherever Law currently was just to ruin any and all of his painstakingly created plans. But now…

Now Law couldn’t remember what life was before him. He had learned to build his plans around Luffy recklessly charging forward, didn’t even bother trying to explain anything to him. He had long since stopped fighting the pull, the warm aura of power and charisma that drew people in and didn’t let go. It took a while but Law had finally accepted that he was not any different from all the other people Luffy had managed to charm without even realizing he was doing it ever since Law had gotten him out of the Goa Kingdom.

There was just something in the stupid divine cat that made people want to join and support him. Maybe it was the sense of absolute freedom that followed him everywhere; be it his own freedom, or the one of whoever Luffy thought deserved it.

“What’s wrong?” Luffy asked after a long while of them just looking at each other.

Law smiled, shaking his head at the cute, worried frown on his face. “Just hoping your grandfather won’t hit us before we sink far enough.”

“He’d never actually hit the ship, he’s a big softie,” Luffy announced, that grin back on his face.

“Good to know.” Law chuckled, finally sitting down on the bed with Luffy. “You know, I was sleeping before you two started fighting,” Law said offhandedly, glancing at Luffy and nearly snorting at the way his ears perked up in excitement.

“Wanna?” the other asked immediately, nearly vibrating in place.

Raising an eyebrow, Law gave Luffy a look. “I was going to say yes but seeing how excited you are, I’m not sure it’s such a good idea.”

“Nah, it’s all good,” Luffy decided, nodding to himself as he hopped off the bed, walking two steps towards the door to Law’s cabin before shifting into his monster cat form, then lied down slowly, watchful as to not break anything while he tried to fit his huge body into the tiny room.

Once Luffy looked back at him expectantly and Law was sure he was fully settled, Law went to join his boyfriend on the floor, careful not to step on any of his limbs or either of his two tails on the way. As he leaned back against the giant cat’s chest, he let his eyes slide shut, already feeling the exhaustion from earlier in the day settling back in. It was just so warm and soft and fluffy and Law would sooner die than admit out loud how much he loved it. It wasn’t like everyone didn’t already know by then anyway. What could he say, Luffy’s fur was impossible to resist. It was worse than Bepo’s in this aspect.

“No licking,” Law reminded, cracking one eye open to shoot Luffy a half-hearted glare when he felt his face come close to his body.

“You’re no fun,” Luffy whined.

Law could only sigh. “I’d just like to keep my skin where it is, thanks.”

“Fine.” Luffy huffed, thankfully keeping his sand-paper tongue where it should be, before he simply nudged Law with his forehead.

A smile pulled on Law’s lips, his hand raising to rest against the side of his little monster’s head. To anyone else, this position would seem incredibly dangerous, yet to Law, it was so very comforting. He had never felt safer than when he lay snuggled into into this god’s side, with the jaw which could fit his entire head inside twice over and then some positioned just inches away from his face.

Right here, Law knew he was home.

And while he gently stroked Luffy’s fur, Law’s eyelids slowly slid shut again.

 ~ Meanwhile ~

“What do we do?!” Shachi cried in panic, staring with wide eyes at the neptunian who looked like it was about to eat the Tang for an afternoon snack.

“We have to call the captain and Luffy, we can’t do this,” Ikkaku shouted back, trying to shoo away another two of these giant sea kings away together with Jean Bart.

A frustrated groan came from Clione in response, “I tried but they won’t answer and the door won’t open!”

“Why do they always have to sleep with Luffy’s giant furry ass blocking the stupid door! How are we supposed to get them out here?!” Shachi whined, mind slowly slipping into despair. Honestly, these lovesick idiots. What use was having a literal god around when he was never there to actually help when they actually needed him to?

This was why Shachi preferred dogs over cats.

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Dedicated to my cat who has the softest fur and also forces me to keep everything on the fucking floor.

[Request info | Ko-fi]

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans Are Space Orcs, “The hypothetical

I decided to go back to and play around with my older style of writing today. Taking a bi of a break from the main plot line for a little bit :) 

As a doctor, I often wonder about hypotheticals. What would happen if my patient was injured in this way, what would I do. Working with humans I find each scenario has to be more outlandish than the next assuming the human is going to do something stupid.

However, in all my time with humans there is one hypothetical that I find most interesting: what would happen if early human/nonhuman communication never happened, and like animals in documentaries, or at zoos we learned about the humans purely through observation.

Humor me for a moment as I write this as I think it could be an interesting thought-experiment for the scientific community. 

I imagine we would see them as a series of logs made by the zookeeper as the humans were captured and placed into their enclosures, not knowing that the humans were sentient.

I see it going something like this.

Day 1 - we encountered the strange creature on a distant planet. We have never seen anything like them before. They tall, though that is only by way of the walking bipedally. Their arms are very long, and their eyes face forward. We were forced to capture them through tranquilization as they were uncooperative. We have a group of them, about six that we released into the enclosure. They are very agitated, and we must do what we can to calm them or otherwise worry about causing them significant stress. I can see them now lying on the ground resting their heads, they do not look well from the drugs, but we hope that the side effects will not last long.

Day 2 - We have yet to determine the genders of the creatures or even if they have any. It is difficult to tell, though there are subtle anatomical differences that we assume might have some bearing on the subject. Luckily for us they ate within the first day, and continue to eat well. As far as we understand their diets, these creatures can eat a large range of food, more than any animal or alien we have ever seen, and this including meat, plants, and plant byproducts.

Day - 4 They have a very large range of vocalizations, in a very complex structure that almost seems as if they are speaking to one another. They grunt hiss click hum, and so much more. As far as we can tell, they seem very social and tend to congregate in a small circle to commune with each other. When they sleep, they tend to sleep in a large group, or within the same general vicinity of each other. It sees they have a strong pack mentality.

Day- 3 we were forced to move them to a new enclosure as, last night one of the zookeepers ran across the creatures scaling the wall of their enclosure using the digits on their hands and feet to hold to the rough surface and pull themselves upward. I and the other scientists are a bit put out as we should have known this based on the anatomy of their flexible toes, and the sockets of their shoulders. These creatures are very good at climbing. For this reason the new enclosure is much larger, it has a pool of water and many tall branches to climb though there is a field around it to keep the creatures form climbing out.

Day 4 - The pool was a good idea as the creatures seem to enjoy submerging themselves in water. We know now that their strangely colored skin is not actually skin but some kind of artificial covering. They take off this artificial skin if they enter the water and put it back on after they leave. We also know the difference between the males and the females now as the males have more defined muscular structures and the females are more rounded with softer angles. As far as we can determine there is no behavioral difference between the two species.

Day 5 - We think they know they are being watched, as they have a habit of obscuring themselves in the furthest end of the enclosure where it is difficult for them to be seen. They have even taken some of the fallen branches and erected a bit of a screen to hide away prying eyes, or at least that is how it seems. Some of our experts assume it was actually in order to build a proper nest though we cannot be entirely sure about that.  

Day 30 - We are worried about one of the females. Her body structure has begun to change over these past few weeks, and her belly is becoming distended. We are worried about some sort of blockage or bloating caused by the misuse of food. The other creatures seem to be worried about her as well. We  might go in and tranquilize her and bring her out to examine her at some point tomorrow.

Day 31 - we had to sedate every creature in the enclosure in order to pull the female out and separate er form her pack. We tried to separate her naturally from them, pulling her to one side of the enclosure, but it seemed as if they knew what we were doing and the other large males and the one aggressive female would not allow her to go. We had to dart all five of the others to capture her, though when we pulled her out we were delighted to find the reason for her distended belly has nothing to do with the food. It seems as if we had inadvertently picked up a pregnant alien creature., which is likely why the others were so protective over her. We worry though because upon examining the internal structures we are concerned that the head of the offspring will not be large enough to fit through the pelvis. We are not sure if this is what the natural progression of their child bearing is supposed to look  like.

Day - 50 we have been doing some tests on our  creatures and have found a few interesting things. Their senses are far superior to our own.  We once thought that their eyes would be adapted to hunting and racking movement, and while that is true in low light situations, they actually have very sharp sense of binocular vision, and are very competent at guessing distances. They seem to be a primary visual creature, and we assume that their vision is even better than ours. There is some evidence that they can even see somewhat in the dark, though based on our examination of their behavior they are primarily a daytime animal.

Day - 61 We think that they can hear us talking outside the enclosure. In fact, we think they have a very sensitive set of hearing organs. They often behave in ways that make us think they might be able to hear us. They always seem to know when we are coming into the enclosure to feed them. They tend to stand very close and watch us very carefully. We are worried that they might attack, but so far they have not. The most disconcerting is the large male and the smaller female. The way they watch some of our handlers unnerves them, and I am going to have to hire new hands to help with this project 

Day 70 - They can use tools! It is an exciting and amazing discovery. But just the other day we say them begin to make things using strips of their own not-skin and some branches. They have tied rocks together and are even using them to smash up bits of food. Their hands seem very capable of doing such things as they are actually quite  delicate in their movements. Each diget can be controlled to the finest degree and the rotational movement of their wrist implies  extreme dexterity. Many of us think that this leaves them on a path towards sentience. Our scientists estimate that they have the intellectual capabilities of a five-year-old child.

Day 90 - great progress has been made! The creatures extreme vocalizations has added to their advantage, in that we have taught them how to speak! The sentences are very rudimentary of course, like a child, but they can ask for food, help, and express their displeasure. However, the problem is, they seem to have discovered greater words of displeasure from the people observing them and have taken to yelling rude slurs at the attraction goers. We think they like getting a reaction. They are very aggressive, and are becoming more so as the days go by. We worry about their health.

Day 100 - two of the large males got into a fight yesterday. We assume it was over mating rites with the remaining female, though that is only a theory. The way the creatures fight is very strange, they ball their hands into fists and then hit each other like using a club. Sometimes they use the hard bony ends of their elbows, or the tips of their knees. A few times they even used their legs to strike at the other. The feat of balance was quite amazing and the power generated from blows like that was scary. Visitors were urged away from the enclosure when wounds started appearing. Both males were covered in blood. We had gone to sedate them but by the time we came back the fight was over and the two males were sitting with each other at the edge of the pool washing their wounds. We think they find the water soothing, though we worry about sickness or infection.

Day 140 - We cannot get to them, overnight and out of sight of our keepers they have constructed a sort of den or nest surrounded by thick leaves and tree bark. There is no way to see in, and there is no way to dart one of these creatures while on the inside. We have been   to get them while they are out in the open, but they always hear when the enclosure or the windows open and have taken to carrying around large shields made of leaves and branches. None of our darts have made it through sticking uselessly into branches. We worry greatly considering the female is coming closer and closer to her delivery day.

Day 170 - We have a plan for sedation, though it will require an enforcement team armed with the tranquilizer guns to preform it. We are worried about the female and the offspring, which we intend to rear by hand. We have no idea how the other larger humans are going to react when the smaller human is brought into the enclosure. They could kill it. We do not want this happening, and besides, we think this creature could be very docile if hand raised by us. 

Day 181 - The mother went into labor last night, and we were called in by one of the zookeepers. We have to act very fast  and are assembling a team. We are worried she might die as the sounds coming from the enclosure has caused us to close down the entire zoo. She seems to be in great pain as we have never heard a creature make that sound before. All of the creatures seem agitated as well, those who are not in the enclosure with them are pacing around outside. They seem very nervous.

The team has been assembled and it has been quiet for some minute except for a distant squalling. The large ales and other creatures are encircling the little habitat as if curious. We are worried the large males will find this as a sign ofweakness and attack.

Day 182 -  please help us. We went into the enclosure as we had assumed with hour weapons ready to take the little offspring away to safer area for cleaning, however as soon as we got close to the den, the creatures attacked. We did not see them camouflaged in the leaves, and they seemed to erupt out of nowhere. Our leader was violently bludgeoned with a rock, and another was strangled manually by the small female. Each one of them was violently killed.

Two of our team managed to make it to the door of the den but as they did, the still blood covered female leaped outward and attacked screaming. She was the most violent out of all of them and practically ripped the limbs off two of our men before killing them. Protecting her young.

The large male carried the sleeping creature fin his arms as the female searched around for any more survivors. There were none and the door had been left open. One of our valiant men tried to go and close it, but he was murdered   as the door was flung open crushing him against the back wall. The child was handed back to the mother and now they are hunting about the zoo in a pack. I have locked myself in this  room hoping they will not find me, but even now I can hear a rattling outside the door.

Day of freedom - Hello you slimy bastards. Didn’t think you could talk did you. Either way you better hope we get back to our home planet, otherwise we will take this one for ourselves and make you suffer till your bones bleach dry under and unforgiving sun.

A little bit melodramatic there at the end I know, but I have spent far to long with humans, and I understand that they would probably be just as dramatic as I am making it sound. Also, I just realized that I technically just wrote some fiction, which means the humans are definitely rubbing off on me

[lackingspace]

Vindictive (Ghostface x Reader)

Rated: Explicit 

Word Count: 4.8k

Summary: Danny is jealous and that’s your fault. 

Warnings: Rough oral sex, degradation, humiliation, dirty talk, cum swallowing, light daddy kink, Danny just being Danny.

A/N: Had a request for a Jealous Danny. Here it is! I hope you like it. Sorry its taken so long!  ･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)･ﾟﾟ ･

When you were first dropped in this place you’d been confused, scared, and a little more than annoyed because what the fuck had you done to land yourself here? After the first few freak outs of death and despair, being sacrificed, and the general malaise of being here became your new normal. Falling into a routine became easy after that- trial, struggle, escape if you were lucky, die if you weren’t, and repeat. 

Quite frankly, things were getting boring. The others trapped with you made it better, talking, joking around on occasion- friends forged in unfortunate circumstances. It was a tiny slice of normality that you were grateful for because who knows how long you’d been here or would be here. Time didn’t mean anything when there was really no way to measure it. You just knew that it was far longer than you’d have liked. Long enough to become numb to the killers and their brutal treatment. To find them not so threatening and more of an inconvenience. 

You missed the real world. Missed the simple things in life- a walk in the park, meeting up with friends, food- God did you miss food. But what you missed the most was an intimate connection. And sex. You definitely missed sex. Relieving tension and having something to distract you from this monotonous existence would have been a blessing. 

None of the others trapped with you really appealed to you. Sure Jake was cute, and Yui had that badass look, even Ash had the daddy thing going for him...but none of them really set your nerves on fire. At least not even enough to try it out and spend eternity awkwardly if it didn’t fly. But damn did you need release. so with no options for a partner, you settled on sneaking away into the woods to take care of yourself. 

And that’s how he found you. One hand down your pants and the other up your shirt, eyes closed, head tossed back, and softly moaning. He’d leaned against the tree directly in front of you and waited quietly until you opened your eyes. You’d almost had a heart attack when you opened them to see Ghostface casually leaning there while staring you down. It was altogether embarrassing but still had your senses buzzing.

All he did was firmly tell you to keep going. That he was enjoying the show. And something about it, his voice? The command? It just worked for you. Maybe it was the combination of him being dangerous, a killer- someone familiar, but not, an unknown that made your senses tingle mixed with his nonchalant attitude and that damned voice that made your toes curl. So you’d done what he’d asked and kept going. 

That marked the start of whatever it was you had going on with Ghostface. At first, it was just hooking up- sneaking away when you saw him lurking and wandering back with a few new pleasurable aches, pains, and bruises. You were sure some of your friends noticed- you knew for a fact Bill, Ace, and David did. The raised brows they’d give you on occasion told you that you were found out. That they knew a clandestine meet up just took place. As long as they knew what you were up to, just not with who, you didn't care. For all they knew it could be another survivor who hadn't wandered back from a trial yet because who would be fucking a killer?

You were content with ignoring them and they seemed fine with not questioning. Besides, it wasn't their business and you have no plans on stopping because it was something you enjoyed- it unquestionably helped deal with the mental stress of repeatedly dying. After a while though, and you really couldn’t pinpoint when, it turned into something a little more. At least for you. 

Made you unnecessarily giddy when he was the killer in your trials. Both of you more playful in chases, he had a habit of drawing those out with you, grabbing your ass before letting you run away only for him to ambush you, down you, and then run his hands up all over you before picking you up. 

If he caught you jumping through a window? You better expect a few well-placed slaps while he teased all sorts of dirty things he'd do to you once he had you alone. 

You didn’t want to admit it, but feelings had reared their ugly head in you for this sarcastic bastard. You caught yourself being soft for him when you really shouldn’t have. Honestly, you felt a little bad because you weren’t the best teammate if he was the killer of the trial. You should have been focusing on gen rushing, saves, or even trying to distract him- which you were more than capable of doing. 

But instead, you found yourself being distracted by him. You'd be there staring, sighing while watching him sneak around. Giggle to yourself about how much of a sadistic bastard he was when in a chase. And if he found you? And God did you want him to- you were even more useless. You weren’t fooling anyone with your pseudo-chase. You didn’t really try to escape but that was ok, both of you liked it that way. You always blamed it as an off match when questioned why you’d done so poorly. No one seemed to notice it was only during a trial with him, and you were totally fine with that. 

So that was how your existence was for now. Honestly, you weren’t mad about it either. His attention in and out of trials gave you back a spark that had been dulled after one too many sacrifices. This trial was no different, you found yourself relaxed, good-spirited, and snickering at a comment Zarina just made. When the gen popped you looked over to see Jane shaking a hand with a mumbled apology. A second later she let out a shriek and started running away. 

You knew what that meant and so you tried to gauge if you should sneak away as well, but you hadn’t seen what she had. Would've been nice if she’d have at least said the killer before sprinting off, but you understood sometimes they just caught you off guard and fight or flight took over. 

Cautiously looking around you decided it was best just to move on, Zarina had the moment Jane ran. You probably waited around too long and would get caught, but at least you'd be prepared after you got off the hook. The fact that you hadn’t heard any footsteps or seen anyone usually meant it was someone stealthy too. You really didn’t want the shape. He was always terrible to play against in this underground lab. Harder to outmaneuver him within the space. Hope welled inside you that it was your...boyfriend? well, whatever he was, you wanted Ghostface. Trying to quietly sneak away seemed like it was going fine until you were suddenly stopped.

Something had gripped the back of your shit and yanked. You stumbled and then felt yourself being dragged around a corner only to have your face pressed against a wall. You were pretty sure you knew who it was, but shit why was he being so rough? 

“So that’s the game you want to play, huh?” Your wish came true, it was your sarcastic boo, Ghostface- you had no idea what he was talking about though, “What the hell do you mean? What’s th-” he cut you off as he pressed in against your back while placing a hand in front of your smashed face, “Don’t give me that. You know damn well what I’m talking about.” He said it with so much venom dripping in his voice, you’d never actually heard him like that before. 

He was usually snide, sarcastic, kinda dark, sometimes angry, but this? He sounded well beyond any of that. And it was all aimed at you….shit.

“Dude, I really” He pressed a forearm to the twisted side of your neck and gripped your shoulder. You winced at the pressure, “Really have no idea what you’re talking about. What game?” There was silence as you felt cold sweat run down your spine. In that same vicious tone, he answered as his grip tightened on your shoulder, “I saw you and that bastard.” 

You wracked your brain trying to figure out what he meant. It had to have been something in this trial, he wasn’t upset when you’d seen him be-- oh god it hit you just like that. You’d slipped and would have had a nasty face-first fall into some crates, barrels, and a pallet, but Ace had grabbed you. Unfortunately, it’d been by the hips and as soon as he got you up he’d apologized for the placement while patting a shoulder. 

He must have seen that. It had to be what he was talking about….But did that mean....was he jealous? His knife suddenly stabbed into the wall next to your face, ohhh, even if he denied it you could tell, he was. There was no question with the growl in his voice, the tight grip he had- which you’d like to point out was only getting tighter, and now the knife threateningly in your face? This wasn’t his normal rational ‘let me weasel my way in, tease, and manipulate to my advantage’, this screamed irritated topped with irrational. 

And even though your brain screamed it was an awfully bad idea, you were going to have fun with it. 

“Not even going to deny it? You little fucking whore.” The rage in his voice felt like someone had submerged you in acid. It really did make your skin crawl that he thought you’d do something like that. After everything the two of you got up to he should have realized how much his dick did it for you. And only his dick. That aside, you weren’t going to just lay down and take his attitude. Nope, not at all. If he was going to be a jealous prick then you were going to be a coy bitch. It might land you in hot water, but you were hoping it was the kind you liked with him, “Oh, but Ghostface, I thought you liked it when I was bent over?” 

The arm still pinning across the back of your neck lifted off quicker than lightning only to move into your hair and rip your head back with a snarl, “Only when your bent in front of me you little cunt!” You moaned at the pain in your scalp but still enjoyed the feeling. It sent some nice jolting tingles straight to your nipples, “But I was in front of you.” The grip in your hair was impossibly tight as the knife scraped against the wall as it moved from next to your face to press against your newly exposed throat. Ignoring that you pressed on, “You’re just pissed that it wasn’t your hands on me.” 

Even with his knife millimeters away from cutting into you and the very real possibility that he was beyond reasoning, would just slit your throat and throw you up to hang- there was still an overwhelming feeling of bravado and the need to tease just as much as his anger was crushing down on you. 

With that feeling overflowing, you took the chance before he responded to push just a little more, “In fact, I bet you’re mad because you couldn't make me stay like that.” Wiggling under his tight grip had your hair pulling and the knife pressing harder into your throat- a wet trickle down the side told you skin broke, “Bet you would have fucked me right there too. Let my friends see who's been giving it to me.” The hiss he let out had a smirk clawing its way onto your lips. That feeling of getting under his skin made it impossible to keep your next thought locked inside, “Too bad it was just Ace...His rough hands grabbing me, having him pressing against me, he could have pushed me however he’d wanted...too bad it wasn’t you.”

Growling out, “You little bitch.” he quickly pulled his knife away as he pressed his hips into yours- he must have liked what you'd said because he was half-hard already. Pulling your hair harder had you moaning out at both the rough treatment of your scalp and the hard length now pressed against your ass. A hot flush circulated your system as relief filled you- The fact that he hadn’t plunged the knife in was a good sign. It seemed like your gamble had paid off.

You moved your hips against his as he leaned in to hiss in your ear, “You’re fucking right I would have fucked you right there. Would have shown that prick exactly who you belong to.”

His knife hand grabbed your hip in a bruising grip and directed you how he liked, “I should just throw you up on a fucking hook with your tits out and my name carved across your chest for everyone to see.” Another wave of heat flushed through you at that, Would he? That’d be embarrassing as hell and you really did not want to explain that to your friends, at least not yet. But it sent heat through you all the same. "Show them how nasty you really are." On second thought explaining wouldn't be that big of an issue. Your squirming gave away how much you liked the thought, which he pointed out, “Of course a dirty girl like you gets off on that. I shouldn't even let you come. Should just use you and make you wait until you're really fucking sorry. ” 

Ignoring that last part to focus on his phrasing. He had said should, which implied that he was questioning it, so you asked in a shaky voice, “But?” Between his hands and his hips, you couldn’t hold back the moan at the pleasurable drag of him against your ass- he was only getting harder, “But nothing, I might just fucking do that...either way, they're going to talk. ” The hand in your hair released and reached around to hold your cheeks in a harsh grip, “I’m going to teach you a fucking lesson because it seems like my mouthy whore needs to be reminded of who she belongs to and what that means. They get free tickets to the show...Lucky them.”

The venom was still there, but instead of the pure angry tone from before, it was colored by an undercurrent of something darker- something hotter. Something that told you on an instinctual level you wouldn’t be walking the same if the entity didn’t have pity and heal whatever he was about to punish you with. Fuck, you wanted it though. Wanted all the pleasurable pain he was about to dish out to you. “You’re going to regret letting that bastard anywhere near you.”

Your brain wasn’t functioning not when he’d just declared he wanted everyone to hear him fucking you. See the evidence of it. Threatening it like he’d done about carving up your tits was a hot possibility, but he was actually serious about this. You weren’t sure what it was he was going to do to you, but you could tell you most certainly weren’t going to be quiet about it.

Ghostface could get rough sometimes, but it wasn’t the usual. Demanding? Yes. Controlling? Definitely. Explicit? Absolutely. But being rough just to be rough was generally only when he was especially frustrated, and that wasn’t often. Maybe only a handful of times since you’d been together and at this point, you weren’t even sure how long that was, all you knew was that it’d been a while. 

Which boasted to how much this affected him. How jealous he was seeing something that really, really hadn’t been anything at all. It should have turned you off, sent you running by how possessive he was, but you ignored that in favor of knowing he got you wetter than anyone else had ever done before. There was no way he’d admit to being jealous though, not outright, but you knew that’s what this was all about and fuck did that work for you. Having him teach you a lesson? All you could do was moan at the prospect. 

“Such an eager slut for it even after knowing your friends are gonna see. So pathetic.” You whined, whether in protest or confirmation it wasn’t clear, “You think it’s ok to let someone else put their hands on what’s mine? That’s not going to work, kitten.” at the pet name you knew this was going to be fun- but you couldn’t let him know that though, would have to turn up the waterworks, “We’re going to show them just what a disgusting whore you really are for me. Let them see you taking my cock and how you beg for it.” 

He shoved you down to your knees. The impact against the hard concrete making you wince, “Good, feel the sting. Better get used to it because your throat is about to feel it too.” he was going to fuck your face? God. You loved when he made you choke on it and you could tell with how aggressive he was you really were going to choke. 

The thumb on the hand on your face swiped across your bottom lip, dipping in to press down on your tongue causing some drool to slip down before regripping your face with the now wet appendage, “You’re going to open wide and let Daddy use this pretty mouth of yours while we let all your little fucking friends know whos been sending you back to that fucking fire pit covered in bruises.” Goddamn that set your nerves ablaze and if your panties hadn’t already been drenched that was added insurance. He was usually subtly possessive but this was flat out plain as day possessive and it had you crying for it. 

You didn't care anymore. You didn't give a single fuck if you had to explain why they'd caught you with a mouth full of Ghostface's cock- and maybe more. if this meant him declaring to everyone that you were his you’d happily tell them to fuck off if they had any issues. 

You were going to beg him for it, but the hand gripping your face prevented anything escaping outside of mumbled strained moans. He answered for you though because he forcefully made you nod up and down. In a mocking falsetto, he voiced for you, “Yes, sir. I’ll open up like a good girl and apologize with my filthy mouth. I'll show you how sorry I am for letting some asshole put their hands on me.” 

Yes, fuck yes! is wanted to say, but all that came out was a garbled moan through your closed mouth. At the sound, his grip tightened, “Such a fucking slut. Would you have moaned for that fuck too?” At your muffled outrage his grip forced your gaze up, “At least you fucking know better on that.”

You thought he would release you to undo his pants, but after a second of silence and you quietly looking at him, he said, "well? Get to apologizing with that pretty mouth before I decide to gut you instead." Ah, he wanted you to do it. That was fine by you, didn't really want him to let go of your hair anyways. You opened his pants with ease, already intimately familiar with the clasps and he squeezed your cheeks forcing your mouth open before he finally released the grip as you took him in. 

He was hard and pulsing when you pulled him out, precome just slightly swelling at the tip. He would have shoved into your still open mouth if it hadn’t been for the entranced look you were giving him. The affectionate desperation you wore while staring helped quell the rage clawing through him. He decided he'd let you play for a second, seeing you so willing to drool for him tore against the need to roughly shove down your throat.

Unabashedly licking a hand before wrapping it tightly around his base to give him a rough tug. Staring up at his mask again you pleaded with him, "I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t do it on purpose." Teasing his tip against your lips before you kissed the head, "I don't want him. Or any of them. Wanted it to be you" Licking the underside followed by a few gentle nibbles to the base made his breath catch, "Always you, daddy." 

His cock twitched against your tongue as he hissed, "And I like that they'll know. I want them to hear what you're about to do to me." He retightened his fist in your hair to pull your head back slightly. He took himself from your hands to slap his cock across your cheeks, "Yeah? You're gonna get off on them hearing your mouth full of killer cock? Filthy thing." You whined desperately trying to nod against his grip, "Then open fucking wide." You dropped your mouth quicker than he finished speaking and you were rewarded with another slap across your cheek before you felt him rest heavy against your tongue. 

It was hard not to close around him and start working on the shaft, but you could tell he wasn't going to let you warm up to it. He wanted you wrecked- a gagging crying used looking mess. And the heat that sent through you had your clit pulsing in want and made you squirm around for some type of relief. But you'd be a good girl and take it for him. 

"Keep your fucking eyes on me and don't you dare try to keep quiet. You better make as much noise as you fucking can." Before you could answer he was shoving to the back of your throat and down. The choked sob you made was just what he wanted as you gagged around him. Sliding down your throat, he mockingly cooed, “Aw, is that too much? Don’t lie, I know you can take it, kitten. Just relax and swallow like my good girl. Impress all your survivor friends.” 

You gagged hard and sputtered around him while he kept thrusting using the grip in your hair to hold you in place, “Don’t even try to deny it. You’re always gagging for it regularly. I bet those little boys wish they were here in this tight wet heat instead.” His voice was strained and you could hear him holding back his own moans. 

Gripping his thighs tightly while trying to relax like he'd suggested, but the burning stretch of your throat was hard to ignore, “But that's why we started this, huh?” his thrusts had been rapid and shallow, but were turning slower while he held in your throat longer, “None of their cocks would do it for you.” Swallowing around him only made him hold deeper, “ For as much of a dirty slut you are, none of them could get you going like I can.” 

Tears were freely falling- leaving tracks down your cheeks, drool was constantly spilling out, your throat ached at the persistent gagging, and the obscene noises you were making with each thrust was driving the both of you wild. “None of them. None...of...those...pricks!” He punctuated each word with a deep thrust, “No one can fuck you like I do.” You moaned sloppily around his cock in agreement, “ They’re not going to throat fuck you like this. And they not going to bend you over and make you fucking take it like daddy.” crying out around him just as much as you were gagging- near constantly and God did you love it.

You’d be begging for him to fuck you if you didn’t have a mouthful at the moment. So instead you were squirming, tightly gripping his thighs, tears continued to spill down, and taking anything he gave you. He knew you well enough to know what your pathetic looks and sounds meant, but he wasn’t folding, “Aw, do you want something?” all that came out were some choked sobs, “What's that? I can’t really understand you.” He shoved completely down your throat and held your head there causing you to swallow and make some disgusting throat sounds, “You should really learn not to talk with your mouth full, kitten.” He tutted at you while you sobbed harder, “ But I can’t expect any manners on such a dirty girl.”

His hand tightening and his voice gaining a shakiness betrayed how close he was even if he looked like the picture of control, “You’re not meant for them.” His pace quickened, “Your place is right fucking here.” He was using both hands to direct your head now, “On your goddamn knees for me.” He pulled out as he ripped your head back, “Gone on, tell them who fucking owns this you!” It only took you a second to catch your breath before you were rasping out his name, “Ghostface! I’m yours, just yours!” Movement in your peripheral caused your eyes to widen, someone was definitely watching. Maybe they all were, but you wouldn’t fuck this up by looking over to them. Who knows what he’d do then. 

You could hear how smug he was when he whispered, “Yeah they’re fucking watching. Saw you choking on it like a professional. Now show them how much of a cumslut you are for me and beg for it. If you do it good enough, maybe I’ll be nice and let you cum before the end of the trial.” Denying him wasn’t even a question, you’d said you wanted them to hear and now they had. The satisfaction that at least one of them knew was sending a burning hot pulse through you. 

So you started begging with your raw voice, “Please, I need it Ghostface! I want it so bad! Need your cum! I wanna taste it so bad. Please! Please, daddy, can I have it?!” He was still pumping his cock in front of your face while you continued to say his name like a prayer, “Open that pretty mouth for me, Babe.” You did as you were told and opened wide while staring up at his mask. The hand not working himself gripped your chin, sliding his thumb inside before moving back up into your hair to yank your head where he wanted. Keeping your mouth open as far as you could you moaned for it.

You could see more movement to the side, but you ignored it when you felt the first spurt of his cum splash against your cheek. He covered your face before giving you the last on your waiting tongue. “Keep your mouth open.” You heard the telltale clicks of his camera and embarrassment flushed through you just as a new wave of arousal settled low in your stomach. “You can swallow it now.” You made a show of savoring the taste for him, and anyone watching. 

Slowly opening your eyes you could feel your lashes heavy with his cum. You moved to wipe some of it away, but he caught your wrist, “You’re going to leave that right where it is.” You gave him a questioning look that he answered with, “I’m going to hang you up on that hook and you're going to run around the rest of this trial with it on your face.” Your jaw dropped as your face burned. That was so fucking embarrassing. You’d think that wouldn’t bother you since you let everyone watch you be thoroughly face fucked but having to talk to them with cum on you went to the next level. But you wouldn't try to stop him- didn’t want to. It sent a nasty pulse of perverse heat through you, “If you keep it like a good girl, I’ll fuck you in front of them before the trials up.” You were begging before you even realized.  

He chuckled while brushing some of your hair back from your face, “Well, let's get you up there on the hook then.” He lifted you with ease and surprisingly gently compared to his treatment just a second ago. You felt the familiar feel of the hook entering you, heard yourself scream, and then you were hanging there and he was patting a cheek of your ass, “Remember, no wiping it off until I say.” and then he was walking off. 

You hung there for a few minutes before you saw Jane silently walking towards you. You tried to look away, but she was already lifting you off of it. Settling on your feet had you unconsciously looking up to her. She was taking you in with a raised brow and a slight smirk, “Ghostface, huh?” Hearing her say it was about enough to kill you from embarrassment. 

[yanderecandystore]

How ye are having a good day v3v, I feel like imma you a bunch of oc ideas but ummm you got any siren/shark mermen ocs with a s/o who is a deep sea diver?😳 - Cold Anon

Boo, I'm so sorry for taking this long ;-; shit has been going down at the speed of light, so I haven't been able to focus all that well.

I have written your request a couple of times, but it always felt so… Awful? Like- It didn't read as proper oneshot so I kept re doing it over and over again.

I have two posts about mermaids, yet not exactly an official character. I'm going to make this one without an official one for now as well because I can't really think straight- Sorry Cold.

Shout out to @aka-thethirstyone for giving me ideas and helping me build this up-

TW/Tags: depressed/suicidal reader // failed suicide attempt (drowning/hydrogen poisoning although not very accurate) // victim blaming mentality (coming from the reader) // angst sad boi hours with some softness in the end //

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Deep blue sea [Yandere!Shark Merman x Reader - Short Fanfiction]:

You've put yourself in this situation, and even if the consequences may seem unfair, you should know better than to whine about it, you should know about now you don't have the right to complain about something you brought to yourself.

That's what you kept telling yourself, everyday, every hour of each day, and it seems to be a prominent thought even in a moment like this.

Every time you go underwater, you can't help but feel a deep connection with the submerged world around you. So much color and wild beauty that if makes you feel like you might as well not be on Earth anymore, it makes you feel like you're on a different planet.

Like you're in a different realm with wild creatures that hold both beauty and death in them, as marine creatures can be often quite unforgiving to each other, or unwanted visitors.

The alien-like ambience you feel while diving it's probably the most comforting thing in your job, if not the only comforting thing about your whole life.

Just like an old sailor, at sea you feel at home, and at home, you don't feel the same. But in your case, you feel like nothing whenever you come back to your house, and a "home" it's a place you have never really been in, so how can you describe the feeling you get when you're diving deep underwater, as something you never understood?

Who knows, maybe it was just a feeling you got, after all, all your team thinks you're too emotional over the ocean. Some would call you an insane person to be so attached to a body of water.

Yet it doesn't matter what the truth to your case may be, because it's whenever the embrace of said body of water fills your senses it's when you truly feel alive again.

That comforting embrace, as if the immense ocean was truly hugging you and relaxing your muscles.

That comforting, deadly embrace was what felt like home to you. And despite everyone else's warnings, you felt like it was your time to be one with the ocean.

It has been a long, unfortunate ride for you. And as I said before, it's not like you were planning on going back home today.

No, you refused to keep feeling empty at your empty house, going by every single day in your empty life-

It was time for a change. It was time for something different. Some peace for once, something that you wouldn't regret.

Or well, wouldn't be capable of regretting anyway.

Your plan was almost perfect, right? I mean, you were certain your diving team wouldn't notice you suddenly going numb, or even caring enough to help you out. So it was essentially perfect, right?

Yeah, it was unfortunate yet perfect. It brought you despair to think of how perfect your plan was.

But since when was your life easy, [Y/N]? Since when did your plans went your way, you don't really remember having luck-

Even at your final moments, you aren't giving peace that you waited for.

When you dived deep without the proper preparation and your oxygen tank having barely enough to half an hour, you let your body get numb by the water pressure and the narcosis that happened as soon as you dived too deep for your fragile body to handle.

Funny how something that can bring life can also take it away, water surely is probably the most powerful element on Earth. Yet, even if it was sentient, you couldn't be able to beg for the ocean water to fully take you away from this pain, from this emptiness you feel.

The ocean it's as beautiful as it is merciless, so it shouldn't have been a surprise that it would take back your hopes away from you.

While you were unconscious and awaiting your own end, you couldn't possibly be aware of the creature picking your numb floating body.

You couldn't possibly have seen the rest of your diving group looking for you, or the predator carefully observing them, making sure they couldn't see you or him.

When you wake up, you'll feel not only confused after finding out your plan has gone wrong but also finding the immense creature laying on top of you like a pillow.

You didn't feel like fighting, or understanding what the hell was going on, you just noticed that the man on top of you clearly wasn't human and really, really heavy.

Yet you weren't completely awake, you weren't completely fine passing through that whole event, hell, you didn't even realize you weren't inside the ocean anymore, or that you are laying on a completely unfamiliar beach with a creature who is essentially a myth on top of you.

He was sleeping. Dreaming.

Growling. Someone was having a bad dream.

Or maybe a good dream? Throughout your expeditions, you have never really interacted with sharks, only looked at them from afar, so you don't know how to read their behavior.

In a moment of high due to your sudden awakening, you pet his head, getting through his white and grey hair despite the fact that he shouldn't have any hair in his body.

But again, you didn't care, you didn't care for anything, you just wanted to look at the sky and drift once again into your dreamland.

Yet this gentle yet heavy and firm hold he got you on was starting to bother you, but not because you were not enjoying it, no, it was totally the opposite.

You... Missed this. You missed this now that you remember the last time you received any form of comfort from another living being. Even if this terrifying thing could possibly eat you, you felt somehow comfortable being hugged and used as a comfort pillow to someone so big and muscular.

You felt odd, like you were worth something for once.

As if this big predator of the vast seas needed some sort of comfort, and for some reason it chose you to help with his little self-conscious problem.

It felt great knowing that even the someone that is so menacing feels scared or sad from time to time. It makes you feel… Strong, in a sense.

If he can feel vulnerable and openly show it, then I can too, right?

Sigh…. Maybe you were overthinking it, like everything else you ever did. Maybe you should just sleep and see what happens when you wake up-

If. You wake up.

And while you were thinking the worst of yourself and of your captor, the man himself was trying his best to hold the joy, the sorrow, and the pain he felt when seeing you losing your strength while diving.

It doesn't matter if he says anything, what can he say? Nothing he could possibly think about telling you, you'll be able to understand back. The language barrier was just like that. Massive, towering, unbreakable.

It would take a long time to understand one another, considering how you both spoke in different ways. Generally speaking, even your minds seem to be in different places.

You thought about things that he would never be able to comprehend, your self hatred is something he'll never agree with.

Your pain, your sorrow, it doesn't make sense to him, cause up until this day, he only saw the [Y/N] that had fun swimming with the fish and playing with them. Not the one that lives unhappy up on the surface.

How can someone that brings him so much joy can think so little of themselves, is something he'll never understand.

He doesn't know exactly what your true plans are, since in his head, you do these things by accident.

You've been trying this for a couple of times now, and he has either not understood the meaning of it or tried to hide the fact from his own worrying heart.

You did something that would have been pretty stupid especially considering that you were all alone, what if he wasn't there observing you? Would you just- Stop moving completely?

The thought of seeing the cute diver he grown attached to going away from this plan of existence is cruel if not straight up torture.

He just found the one who is bound to be with him for all his life, how else would he feel after discovering something so terrible? The only thing that anyone would feel in his place is fear, is rage, is agony-

Clearly something was going wrong up there, something that made you just-

Decide to float through the ocean forever.

But- But this is oddly the perfect solution to his own problems, now he has a reason and a way to get you to be with him forever now, right?

You seemed to have given up on the human world you live in, and he really wants to be with you so you two can easily be together now. It's an unfortunate event yet also the only opportunity that he has seen as useful to his cause.

Of course, he doesn't understand you, and you surely don't understand him yet, but that is fine because as soon as he wakes up, he'll make sure to do everything in his power to make you feel like the happiest mate of all.

He only hopes you didn't see him sleeping on top of you as a lazy thing for a husband to do, don't worry about him being a bad dad though, he'll make sure to show off everything he has in store for you.

Even if it takes a while to get you accustomed to his mannerism and your now little private island, he knows you're going to love it here with him as your company.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[fireladybuckley]

Congratulations on the milestone, babe! That's so amazing!!! Gods, I remember when you celebrated 100 a few years ago. Now you're up to 1700??? Insane. I'm so happy for you! May I please request 7 with Buddie, please? ♥♥♥

Thank you so much, babe. For the congratulations, and for being my biggest supporter and always getting me through times of doubt and self-consciousness.  You are an amazing partner, friend, beta-reader and all around person and I love you so much 😍   I hope you like your fic!

Prompt:  “Hey, look at me. Focus on me alright?” (Thank you @dearestdiaz​ for beta-ing this ficlet! I appreciate it!! <3)

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           “Wow, that wind is really picking up,” Eddie commented, shading his eyes as he squinted in the breeze that was ruffling his wet hair rather violently.  Buck planted his feet on the sandy bottom and followed Eddie’s gaze, the wind all but  slapping him in the face as he turned his head.

           “Yeah it is,” Buck agreed, rising to his full height.  “But look, it’ll make the waves bigger, that’s always fun.”

             “True,” Eddie smiled as Buck grinned at him and dove into the water, diving after him, trying to catch him as he swam off.  The ocean felt incredibly refreshing as they shot through it, flipping around and laughing like kids.

             Eddie’s abuela had taken Christopher for the weekend, Buck’s air conditioner was on the fritz, and Eddie’s house wasn’t much cooler.   The heat had been relentless for at least a week so they’d taken to the beach, hoping the ocean would cool them down.  The forecast was predicting storms late that afternoon, so Eddie supposed that was why the wind was picking up so much, but for the time being, the sky was clear and cloudless, the sun beating down on them.

             The waves began to increase in size as Buck had predicted, and they spent a good half an hour diving over, through or under them, feeling that wonderful sense of relief every time they submerged, thoroughly enjoying themselves.

             Soon the water became even choppier, and they stood waist-deep, catching their breath and bracing themselves as the waves crashed against them, sometimes washing over as high as their shoulders.

             “Should we get out?” Eddie asked, hopping a little to avoid a wave smacking him in the face, watching Buck do the same.

             “Nah, this is fun,” Buck said, jumping over the next wave as well. “We can leave in a few.”

             Eddie shrugged agreeably and they continued their fun, the waves growing noticeably larger as the wind picked up even more, large storm clouds starting to form on the horizon.  After nearly face-planting into a particularly large wave, Eddie stood and shook out his hair, feeling like there was seawater in his brain, trying to blow his sinuses free.  Buck had just noticed he’d stopped and stood up, moving towards him to ask if he was okay, when Eddie noticed a huge wave growing right behind Buck.

             “Buck!  Watch out!” Eddie called, pointing, and Buck whirled around just in time to see the wave crest higher than his head.  Before he could move, the wave broke and smashed down right into his face and shoulders, the force of the blow knocking him off his feet.  Buck choked as he was tossed about under the water, wincing as his back slammed against the sand below, the circular motion of the surprisingly strong wave flipping him around as he flailed helplessly, trying to figure out which way was up as seawater filled his nose and mouth.

             It happened in an instant;  one moment Buck was out for a swim with Eddie, and the next, he was back in the tsunami, being thrown around like a ragdoll under the water, sure he was going to die.  Panic spread through his body like electricity and he cried out for help while still under the surface, which only made him choke on the water more.  The waves calmed for a moment and Buck thought maybe, just maybe, he’d be able to right himself, but then another rolling wave swept into him and he was tumbling again, terror engulfing him.  He was going to die, he just knew it, his lungs burning as he clawed desperately at the water, but he was so disoriented in his panic that he had no idea what was happening anymore.

             Suddenly, arms wrapped around his chest from behind and pulled hard, bringing  him to the surface as his legs flailed, trying to find the bottom.   Buck’s desperate gasp for air as soon as his head was free of the water was quickly eclipsed by deep, hacking coughs, his body convulsing as he spit up copious amounts of ocean water.   Someone was shouting something at him and started dragging him along, Buck stumbling and following as best as he could, still coughing violently.  Another large wave slammed into his back and Buck lost his balance, falling forward out of the person’s grip and landing face-first in the frothy water.

            “Buck! Come on, you gotta stand!”

            Buck tried to obey, Eddie’s voice just barely reaching him as he struggled to his feet, nearly collapsing as the water streamed down his face, waves continually crashing into him.   Buck was still in full panic mode as he blindly stumbled forward, desperate to get out of there, but he was so disoriented that he kept tripping over his own feet as he tried to run, the water slowing him down.

            “Buck, hey! Are you okay?” Eddie asked as he finally caught up to Buck again, sloshing his way through the thigh-deep water to Buck’s side.  Buck was still coughing a bit and he was shaking like a leaf as Eddie reached out and steadied him, gripping his bare arms tightly and holding him upright as he swayed on the spot.

            “Buck? Buck, what’s happening?” Eddie asked urgently as Buck's wide eyes flickered wildly around them and he tugged against Eddie’s hold, trying to flee.

            “We gotta get out of here, we gotta run!” Buck exclaimed wildly, trying to pull himself free of Eddie’s grip on him, staggering as another sizable wave slammed into them at chest height, nearly knocking them both over.  

            “Let go! I have to find Christopher!” Buck gasped, wrenching himself out of Eddie’s hold and stumbling forward.  Eddie rushed towards him, sudden understanding hitting him as he grabbed Buck’s arm once more and spun him around, forcing Buck to face him even as he struggled. 

            “Buck, no, Christopher isn’t here.  Buck, this isn’t the tsunami, you’re both safe.”

            Eddie shook Buck slightly in his urgency, watching the doubt and fear on Buck’s face, trying to shatter the flashback.  Buck was still struggling against his hold, his face still a mask of panic as Eddie gripped him tightly, pulling him closer.

            “Buck! Hey, look at me. Focus on me alright?” Eddie’s tone was forceful as he tried to snap Buck’s attention back to him, lifting a hand and cupping Buck’s cheek, and this time it seemed to work.  Buck’s eyes found him, but he still looked scared, meeting Eddie’s gaze though his eyes flickered back and forth between Eddie’s, like he was searching for something.  

            “Eddie?” Buck asked shakily, breathing hard as he stared at Eddie’s face, trying to understand.  The panic was still very much alive in him, making him want to run and clouding his logic, but something in Eddie’s eyes held him there, and Buck slowly came to realize that they were standing together in the waves, on the beach, years after the tsunami had happened.  

            “Yeah, Buck.  Yeah, it’s me,” Eddie told him reassuringly, his voice less abrupt now that he had Buck’s attention, stroking Buck’s cheekbone with his thumb.  “You’re okay, I promise, this is not the tsunami. You were having a flashback.”

            Buck looked around them and saw that although the waves were large, they were definitely not tsunami-large.  He saw other people milling around them, the beach stretching as far as he could see, dotted by thousands of umbrellas and towels, the other people completely unbothered.  

            “I…  I thought…” Buck stammered, feeling dizzy as some of his abject panic began to fade.  He coughed a little weakly as his throat burned from the water he’d swallowed and then coughed up, his head aching from the water in his sinuses and the extreme emotions.

            “I know, Buck,” Eddie said gently, his heart breaking as Buck’s face changed from an expression of fear to looking like he was about to cry.  Eddie pulled him close, wrapping his arms around him, their bare chests pressing together.  Buck clung to him, shaking, burying his face into Eddie’s shoulder.  They stood like that for a few moments as Buck struggled to get his breathing under control, still hyperventilating, and Eddie held him close and murmured reassurances, coaching him to breathe slowly.

            Another large wave hit Eddie in the back hard enough that he stumbled forward a little, unintentionally pushing Buck and destabilizing him.  Buck gasped, clinging to Eddie for balance, his respiration rate shooting upwards again.  Eddie apologized, steadying him, then shifted so he had an arm around Buck’s back from the side and began to lead him towards the shore.

            “Come on, let’s get you out of here,” Eddie intoned and Buck let himself be led along without protest, his mind still reeling.  He was clumsy with how much he was trembling, his muscles suddenly feeling weak, and Eddie’s grip on his waist tightened as he slipped and slid through the sand as the waves crashed insistently over the backs of their thighs, then their calves.   Eddie pulled him along towards their spot and Buck all but fell onto the blanket, pulling up his knees and propping his elbows on them, burying his face in his hands.  Eddie grabbed a towel and threw it around Buck’s shoulders before sitting down beside him, looking over him.

            “Are you okay?” Eddie asked quietly, not wanting to overwhelm Buck, who shrugged in response.  Eddie could tell by the slight shuddering of his shoulders that Buck was crying into his hands, and Eddie reached out, wrapping an arm around him and pulled him closer.  Buck unfolded himself and curled up against Eddie’s chest, sniffing, and Eddie encompassed Buck with both of his arms, holding him close.

            “I was back there for a minute, Eds,” Buck said hoarsely after a few minutes, his voice so quiet Eddie had to tilt his head to hear him properly.  “I-I was back in the tsunami,  I thought I was drowning, that Christopher was gone…”

             Eddie pressed a kiss to the top of Buck’s head and tightened his grip, resting a cheek on Buck’s wet hair. 

             “I get it,” Eddie said gently, stroking Buck’s shoulder with one of his hands.  “I have flashbacks too, and sometimes it seems so real that I really forget where I am for a moment.  PTSD can be horrifying.”  

             “Yeah, but you went to war,” Buck pointed out, sitting up slightly so he could look at Eddie, still leaning against his chest.  “I’ve never done anything like that, I shouldn’t be having flashbacks.”  Buck’s trembling fingers ghosted over the gunshot scar on Eddie’s shoulder, sending a slight shudder through him.

             “Buck, any kind of trauma can cause PTSD.  I’d say nearly drowning in the initial tsunami and then running around for hours and miles through water and debris, panicking and injured as you tried to find Christopher was more than enough to traumatize you.  Not only veterans can have PTSD, it’s not an exclusive thing.”

             Buck was quiet for a while after Eddie spoke, tucked up against him and slowly taking deep breaths.  Eventually his trembling subsided and he sighed, feeling exhausted as he thought about what Eddie had said.

             “I’ve never had that happen before.  I guess when that wave hit me…” Buck trailed off, and Eddie nodded, pressing another kiss to Buck’s hair.

             “Probably.  Triggers can be a wide variety of things, but swallowing some water and getting tossed around by a wave unexpectedly makes perfect sense for you.”

             Buck nodded slowly, staring out ahead of them, watching the waves crash to shore as more and more people got out of the water, fearing the storm that was coming closer by the minute.  The ocean had always been one of his favourite places, and even after the tsunami, he hadn’t feared it somehow.  But now, his heart raced as he stared at the cresting waves, the white froth of the aftermath.  He reached for and clutched Eddie’s hand, swallowing hard.

             “Is that going to happen again?” Buck asked, and Eddie could tell just by his voice how vulnerable he felt.  He understood.  Any time he had a flashback it was terrifying, but the first one had been particularly bad.  

             “It might,” Eddie acknowledged, his voice gentle.  “But it might not.  You could go swimming in the ocean every day for the next twenty years and not have one, or it could happen the next time you do.  Some people have very specific and very predictable triggers, whereas for others it's more random.”

             “I don’t want to give up swimming,” Buck said, his voice wavering a little, “but I- the thought of going back in there right now is scaring me.  Which seems pathetic, considering I’ve been swimming for two years since the tsunami happened.”

             Eddie held him close as he felt Buck shrink, hunching closer as he admitted his fear.  He could tell how hard this was for him, and hastened to say something that would make him feel better.

             “Give yourself some time to get through this,” Eddie told him.  “I promise you will want to swim again.  Can I tell you something I’ve never told anyone else?”

             Buck nodded, tilting his head up from Eddie's shoulder to look at his face.  A muscle in Eddie’s cheek twitched, but he swallowed and smiled down at Buck.

             “The first summer after I came home from Afghanistan, I wasn’t having a good time.  Lots of nightmares, sleepless nights, Shannon and I were fighting and it was just generally a horrible period.  I hadn’t been paying attention to the date, and hadn’t been going out much, so somehow I missed that the day was the 4th of July.”

             Buck squeezed Eddie’s hand for support, sensing what was coming next, and Eddie’s lips formed a tight smile.

             “I had three separate panic attacks that night.  The first burst of fireworks was set off by a neighbour, so close to my house and so loud that I was sure we were under fire.  I dragged Shannon and Christopher into the safest part of the house and started frantically barricading things until she was finally able to get through to me and I realized I’d been having a flashback.”

             Eddie let out a breath, feeling flickers of that same panic at the memory, pushing them aside as he glanced around and took in his surroundings, reminding himself that he was here with Buck.  

             “It was terrible.  I genuinely thought for a moment that I was back there, even though I had Chris and Shannon and we were in our house.  The mind is incredibly powerful, Buck, and it can happen when you’re least expecting it.  But that doesn’t mean it’s always going to happen, or that you can’t enjoy things related to it.”

             “You mean, like when we went to the fireworks show last month?” Buck asked, and Eddie nodded. 

             “Some veterans can’t handle noises like fireworks and gunshots because it always or nearly always triggers their PTSD.  Some, like me, are lucky enough that it only happens sometimes.  I love fireworks;  I just have to approach them with the knowledge that it could cause a flashback, and decide whether I’m okay with it that day.”

            Buck nodded again, sitting up beside Eddie and looking over at him.  Eddie smiled, bringing Buck’s hand to his mouth and pressing a kiss to the back of it.

            “Therapy has helped a lot, as well,” Eddie said after a moment of thoughtful silence.  “I resisted it at first, but once I finally started going, I have to admit it really did help.”

            “That’s good,” Buck said, pulling Eddie’s hand closer and wrapping it in both of his own.  “I’m proud of you.”

            Eddie gave a soft laugh and leaned closer, pressing a gentle kiss to Buck’s lips.  Buck’s eyes fluttered closed, and he finally felt his heart rate return to normal, soothed by Eddie’s soft touch.

            “Thanks,” Eddie said, bumping noses with Buck, who finally smiled back.  Eddie shifted his position so that Buck could lean on him again and Buck snuggled up against him, watching the storm clouds move closer.  

            “Maybe I’ll talk to Dr. Copeland about it the next time we meet,” Buck said after a while, tilting his head back and up in an attempt to see Eddie’s expression.  

            “I think that’s a great idea,” Eddie agreed, kissing Buck’s forehead and prompting a small grin.  “And for the record, I’m very proud of you, too.  You’ve done amazing considering everything that’s happened over the last few years.”

            “I mean, I had help,” Buck said, poking Eddie in the chest and smiling. 

            “Having support can make things easier, but you still do the brunt of the healing and overcoming yourself,” Eddie reminded him gently, and Buck shrugged, supposing he had a point.  

             Buck was about to reply when thunder crack in the not-so distant sky and they jumped, seeing that the storm clouds were much closer than they’d realized.  They leapt to their feet and took down the umbrella, stuffing their blanket, towels and other stuff into their duffle bag as everyone around them did the same.  Just as Buck slung the duffle over his shoulder and Eddie grabbed the umbrella and cooler, the skies opened up and began to pour down on them, re-soaking their hair and drenching them in seconds.

             “Go, go, go!” Buck yelled over the boom of thunder and Eddie began to run, Buck following in his wake.  They made it back to Buck’s jeep and threw the stuff into the back, hopping in just as lightning flashed right over their heads.   The rain was deafening on the roof and windows of the vehicle and they sat in their seats, panting as they watched the storm raging around them, laughing at the mad dash they’d had to do.  

             After a while, Buck reached for Eddie’s hand and thread his fingers through Eddie’s, smiling as Eddie looked over at him curiously.

             “Thanks, Eds,” Buck said, his gaze not quite meeting Eddie’s.  “I don’t know what I would have done if that’d happened when you weren’t with me.  Thanks for calming me down.”

             “I’ve always got your back, Buck,” Eddie said softly, lifting Buck’s hand and kissing it.  “I’m here for you.”

             “I love you,” Buck said softly, shifting so he could lean on Eddie as they watched the storm, looking up at him as Eddie turned and pressed another kiss to his lips.

             “I love you too.”

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[babypandawrites]

Allies, Pt. 4

The Storm

Pairing: Sokka x F Reader Warnings: None Word Count: 1,790 Summary: You find out Sokka’s ideas are more terrible than you originally thought. 

-Navigation- | -Allies Masterlist- | -Atla Masterlist- 

Getting abruptly woken up by something jumping on your face then your chest was not a pleasant way to be woken up.  Y/n bolted up in a panic, reaching for her bow that had been laying next to her.  “Huh? Uh… What’s going on? Did we get captured again?” Sokka spoke groggily next to her, he must have gotten woken up too.  Aang looked between his friends. “It’s nothing, I just had a bad dream. Go back to sleep.”  “Don’t have to tell me twice.”  Setting her bow back down, Y/n spared Aang a quick glance, before deciding she was far too tired to deal with this right now. Seemed like Katara was going to talk to him anyways. She fell onto her back, and rested an arm over her eyes.  “Are you all right, Aang?”  Not falling back asleep immediately, she listened in on Katara and Aang’s conversation.  “I’m okay.” “You seem to be having a lot of nightmares lately, you wanna tell me about it?” “I think I just need some rest.”  She heard Sokka move around next to her. “You guys want to hear about my dream?” There was a pause. “That’s okay, I didn’t want to talk about it anyways.”  When the others went silent, Y/n drifted back to sleep.  The next morning, Y/n helped Katara pack up their things. Aang sat atop Appa’s head, pointing out to the sky.  “Look at those clear skies, buddy! Should be some smooth flying.”  Katara examined the bag they carried food in. “Well, we better smoothly fly ourselves to a market, cause we’re out of food.”  Sokka looked at them alarmed. “Guys, wait, this was in my dream, we shouldn’t go to the market.” Y/n looked at him questioningly. “What happened in your dream?”  “Food eats people!” The three looked at him unimpressed. “Also, Momo could talk.” He turned to look at the lemur. “You said some very unkind things.” 

Once they’d gotten to a market, they got some food. Currently, Katara was judging the quality of some fruit while Y/n, Aang and Sokka stood off to the side.  “Ah, it’s good! It’s perfect, I’m telling you!” The shopkeeper tried to convince her of the quality, but she didn’t seem to be agreeing. She shook the fruit, which made a swishing sound.  “I don’t know if I like the sound of that swishing.” “Swishing means it’s ripe! It’s the ripe juices swishing around, eh?”  “I think it’s true, Katara, swishing means it’s ripe.” Aang agreed with the keeper, though Y/n was skeptical like her friend.  “I dunno about that.”  Katara put the fruit back. “I just realized we’re out of money anyways.”  The shopkeeper groaned, taking the basket of fruit that Sokka had been holding, kicking him as he walked by. Dejected, Sokka rubbed at the place he was kicked as they walked away from the stand. “Out of food and out of money, now what are we supposed to do?”  “I could get some forage-” Y/n’s suggestion was ignored.  “You could get a job, smart guy.” Katara said to her brother.  “That also works.”  Hands on her hips, Katara turned to look at Y/n. “You could get one too, you know.”  They walked past a pair of old people who’d been speaking amongst themselves, but were easily overheard.  “We shouldn’t go out there! Please, the fish can wait. There’s going to be a terrible storm.” “Ahh, you’re crazy! It’s a nice day. No clouds, no wind, no nothing, so quit you’re naggin’ woman.”  Aang looked between the other three. “Maybe we should find some shelter?”  Sokka scoffed. “Are you kidding? Shelter from what?”  “This apparent storm.” Y/n glanced up at the sky. “That’s what my bad feeling must have been about.”  “You had a bad feeling and didn’t say anything?”  She looked at Sokka with a blank expression. “You guys never listen to them.” “My joints say there’s going to be a storm! A bad one.” “Well, it’s your joints against my brain.” “Then I hope your brain can find someone else to haul that fish, cause I ain’t comin'!” “Then I’ll find a new fish hauler and pay ‘em double what you get! How do you like that?” Sokka grabbed onto Y/n’s wrist, and dragged her over to the pair. “We’ll go!” The man pointed at them. “You’re hired!”  Katara, Aang and Y/n gave him a look. “What? You said ‘get a job’ and he’s paying double.” The man looked at Sokka like he was crazy. “Double? Who told ya that nonsense?”  Y/n ignored the old man. “Hey, why are you dragging me into this?” “You were told to get a job too!” Pausing, he leaned close to her ear. “And if we both do it, we both get paid. That’s double the pay regardless!” 

Sokka was loading up the fishing boat that belonged to the old man, Y/n hesitantly helping him. She paused, looking up at the sky with worry. It’d begun to fill with dark storm clouds, and the wind was starting to pick up.  Aang had been looking at the sky worried as well. “Sokka, maybe this isn’t such a good idea. I mean look at the sky.”  “I said I was gonna do this job. I can’t back out just because of some bad weather.” Sokka continued to load up the boat.  The old woman from before looked at the kids. “The boy with tattoos has some sense. You should listen to him!”  The old man sat down some boxes, before looking over at Aang. “Boy with tattoos? Airbender tattoos… Well I’ll be a hog monkey's uncle! You’re the Avatar, ain’t ya?”  “Y/n, come on help me out a bit here.”  Sighing, she picked up a box, and followed Sokka below the boat's deck with it. When they came back up, the others were nowhere to be found.  Sokka noticed this too. “Hey, they left without saying goodbye!”  “You’re friends ain’t too polite, are they?” Y/n went to grab another box. “They’re plenty polite..”  She was ignored, as Sokka agreed with the man. “I know! This one time I was-” The old man cut him off, handing him a box. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, get below deck.”  The three went off onto the boat, and set sail to sea. 

It didn’t take very long for the wind to pick up immensely, nor for the rain to start pouring down. Lightning struck in the distance, as a large wave hit the boat causing it to rock aggressively jerking them around.  Y/n found herself gripping tightly on the boat's railing, as Sokka and the old man struggled to pilot the boat.  “You know, Sokka, I think this will be a really good teaching moment for you if we get out of this alive!”  “Yeah okay! I’ll never doubt one of your bad feelings again! Can you get over here and help us?!” “What the boy said!” She looked at them with an exasperated expression as the boat rocked aggressively, jerking the three around. “You want me to let go of the only thing keeping me on board?! Thanks but no thanks, I think I’m fine where I’m at!”  The man looked at her. “Girly there isn’t going to be a board for you to stay on if we crash this!”  Gulping, Y/n hesitated for a short moment, before letting go of the boats railing. She moved quickly to join the other two, but a large wave hit the boat. It jerked her back and caused her to tip over the boat's railing.  “Y/n!”  With a shout, she was able to grab onto the railing before she fell into the water. The railing was wet and slippery though, it was hard to keep a grip on it. “Sokka, help!”  Sokka left the old man to pilot the boat on his own, and rushed over to the railing. He braced himself against it, before reaching out to grasp onto her wrist, catching her just as her grip slipped from the rail. “Gotcha!”  He pulled Y/n back onto the deck, and she was quick to latch onto the railing for dear life, breathing out a relieved sigh.  “We gotta get over there and help him!”  “Are you crazy?!”  Their grips on the railing tightened, as another large wave rocked the boat. The old man looked over at the two.  “I ain’t gonna be able to keep this in control for much longer! Listen to the boy!”  “Y/n, go! I’ll be here in case you get knocked back again!”  She wasn’t very willing to let go of the rail, that had been horrifying and not something she wanted to happen again. But still, she hesitantly released the railing and ran over to the man to help him. This time she’d made it, and Sokka was fast to join them to help try and pilot the ship. 

Suddenly- and thankfully -Aang jumped down onto the boat. After stopping a part of the boat that broke from hurting any of them, he grabbed onto the rope Sokka had. “Hang on to the rope!” He airbended himself back up to Appa, pulling Sokka, Y/n and the old man with him. They all landed on the bison safely. Behind them a shadow appears, the sound of rushing water could be heard. A giant wave was progressively growing behind them. Appa tried to fly away from it, but wasn’t fast enough, causing them all to get submerged. Aang drifted away from them, using his Avatar powers to create a ball of energy around them all, rising them from the water and back into the sky. Once they escaped the water, Appa took them all back to a cave.  The old woman from before ran over to embrace her husband. “Oh, you’re alive!” Now frowning, she pointed to Aang. “You owe this boy an apology.” “He doesn’t have to apologize.” “Mmm, uh, what is instead of an apology I give him a free fish and we call it even?” “Actually, I don’t eat meat.”  “Fish ain’t meat.”  Sokka held out a hand to the man. “Seriously, you’re still going to pay us, right?”  The old man raised an eyebrow, before dropping a fish in the boy's hand. He made a frightened sound, dropping the fish to the ground.  Crossing her arms over her chest, Y/n looked at the man with a blank expression. “Really?!” He just ignored her. Breathing out a sigh, she looked at Sokka. “Next time we need a job, I’m picking it.” “That’s fair.”  “Oh and uh… Thanks for saving me back there.” Pausing she rolled her eyes in a joking manner. “Even if it was your fault in the first place.”  They shared a quick laugh. “Yeah, of course.”

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression, radio version - Ep 41, July 2016 - Underwater band Aquasonic, Tracking a spouse with GPS, Ichiro beats Pete Rose's world record.

Kaoru starts by commenting about how close he came to not being able to play Utafumi on the last show. He thinks Hiranabe was talking so much on purpose. He then asks listeners to contact the show as usual, and reminds them of the ongoing new jingle campaign. He will play some more entries on the show once he has a few more gathered up.

Kaoru's first topic is about a 5-piece band from Denmark named Aquasonic, who perform music entirely submerged in water tanks. They have specially designed instruments, and use no oxygen tanks, but come up for breath at timed intervals during the performance. Kaoru thinks this band is cool. Joe says the sound that they produce is very mysterious, and Kaoru agrees. He is pretty perplexed as to the types of instruments and methods the band uses. Joe comments that when we usually hear music, it comes via vibrations in the air, but with this we are hearing the sound vibrate through water. Rather than the freedom of expression, this is more like seeing the possibility of expression increase. It may be possible to produce sounds in this way that human ears have never heard before. Watching the video of the band's performance, Kaoru felt an entirely new sensation, and felt inspired in regards to the possibilities that are out there. Joe mentions that he recently interviewed a musical saw player on his other radio show, who claimed that when he played his music in the mountains, the bugs and birds sang out in unison with him. Joe thinks that in this age of everything digital, there is a whole world of discovery waiting to be unlocked in the natural world. Kaoru mentions that playing underwater could also be different if done in the sea, due to the effect of the waves etc. The vibrations in the sea would be different from in a water tank. Joe thinks that although this idea comes with a certain physical danger (being submerged underwater), its great if something that has been overlooked for so long could give new creative ideas. Maybe he is a bit of a romanticist. Kaoru repeats that he finds this idea quite fascinating, and Joe suggests using underwater music as this show's bgm. Kaoru replies, no, this is not possible.

Tasai joins them next for the Tokyo Sports corner. He congratulates Kaoru on the public revelation of the new single.

His first news story is about the comedian/impressionist Kintalo, who gave some marriage advice to her newly married friend, Yashiro Yu. The advice was, 'Don't track your husband with GPS'. The reason for this is that Kintalo herself had used GPS to track her own husband 24/7, and it had soured thier relationship. Joe is not surprised that it affected thier marriage. Tasai questions the idea of a woman wanting to spy on a man who she likes 24/7. Kaoru says it works both ways though, it would be just as bad for a man to spy on a woman. He also says this type of thing infringes on the relationship of trust between close people.

Kami then joins the conversation to say that he agrees with using GPS to track a spouse. Joe and Kaoru disagreeing with the idea makes them look like they are guilty of something. Kaoru says even if he is not guilty of anything, he just doesn't want anyone to know if he's been to the amusement park, and rode on the roller coaster or that type of thing. Kami insists that there are so many deceptive people out there, its definitely better to track them. Joe asks Kami how he would feel if he was tracked with GPS by a girlfriend. Kami says he would be completely happy with that. He isn't like Joe. Joe says its not really the GPS thats the problem, its just not a nice feeling when someone doubts you. Kami says there is nothing about him that would get him into trouble if discovered, so Joe asks in that case, why does he use that weird voice? Kami gets angry and accuses Joe of discrimination. This is his natural voice! Kaoru suggests that Kami, being a god, ought to know the whereabouts of everyone anyway, even without gps. Kami says he does, and that is why he's happy to wear a gps device himself. Joe asks Kami if he can see what Hiranabe is doing right now. Kami says he can, he is out drinking. Tasai confirms that this is true. Kami then repeats his assertion that anyone who refused to be tracked with gps must be harbouring some kind of guilt. Tasai admits he wouldn't like to be tracked skipping work or something, and says that everyone has little things to be guilty about in this way. Joe aks Kami if he's never skipped work on his night-shift. After a very brief, but telling pause, Kami says he has never skipped work. The others get the feeling that he probably has. Before leaving, Kami comments on how short the new song Utafumi was, and Kaoru has to remind him that this was the promotional edit. version.

Tasai's next story relates to baseball, specifically that Ichiro has overtaken Pete Rose's world record of 4256 hits. This is a total of his combined hits from in Japan and the USA, which causes some people not to recognize the record. Pete Rose himself does not recognize it, comparing hits in Japan to high school hits. On the other hand, some point out that fewer games are played in Japan than in the states, which makes Ichiro's tally all the more impressive. Kaoru says that record or not, there are always gonna be people who are stingy about this kind of thing. Tasai says that even Japanese comedian Ariyoshi had half-jokingly called Rose a piece of trash over this issue. Kaoru states that a record is still a record, to which Tasai responds that Ichiro could claim the world record and Rose could claim the major league record.

Kami then appears again to suggest that Ariyoshi's use of the word 'trash' (クズ/kuzu) could be a play on words with the food 'kuzu' (*I think*). Joe aks Kami if has any records of his own. Kami says his record is that he has never skipped work, and never been late for work. The others are not that impressed with this. Kami ends up calling them all 'trash' too.

To close the show, Kaoru plugs the release of Utafumi, and the upcoming DSS tour. He mentions they will play at Nakano Sun Plaza for the last time during this tour, as the venue is due to close. They will also play new music other than Utafumi on the tour. They may even play some of the songs that were rejected from the new album. Next he mentions that a 'Best of' album is in the works for the following year, reminds listeners of the new jingle campaign, and plugs his blog. He says his blog is due to feature a guest for the first time, namely LM.C's Aiji. Joe asks Kaoru if he has any summer vacation plans before the next tour starts in September. Kaoru says he will only be in Tokyo working on new music, so maybe they could think of something special to do for this show. Kami appears once again to tell them to wear a gps device if they make any plans. Joe suggests Kami must be late for his night shift by now, but Kami says he has taken the day off. Also that Dir en grey shouldn't worry about being tracked with gps because they surely have nothing to hide. Kaoru says he prefers to remain a little mysterious. They finish by repeating thier desire to make some kind of summer plan for the show. Kami will have to take time off to avoid being late for work, which is the exact opposite of Hiranabe who is unapologetically late for everything.

Songs - Dir en grey/Utafumi, Snot/Joy Ride.

[sorry-apsalar]

Does This Mean I'm a Girl Now?

Content Warning: this fic contains genderbending (sort of anyway) and gender dysphoria as a result of it, also multiple mentions of genitals as well as nudity in general.

My friends and I were discussing a thing that we were mildly salty about which brought on the topic about how we were salty in general over how a lot of genderbending stuff is portrayed. It often relies on stereotypes and gender roles which is really annoying and pretty shitty. Then my dear friend @itsladykit (I hope it’s okay that I tagged you, I just wanna give you proper credit for the idea) brought up the idea of a cis character getting magically genderbent and experiencing gender dysphoria because of it. Which I thought was a really neat idea but I wasn't sure if I was qualified to tell that tale but then they told me to follow my heart and write it and that's why this fic came into being.

Now I feel like I need to put the disclaimer that while I have personal experience with gender dysphoria, the worst of it was was back when I was a teenager, I've mostly grown out of it and I'm pretty sure most people have it stronger than I ever have. So if this isn't an 100% accurate depiction of dysphoria, that is why. I did my best though.

Also, Frender features in it mostly just because I was already fueled primarily by salt, might as well let my usual Futurama salt fuel me too.

-

“Wow,” Fry said as they looked over the naturally formed pool of bright pink goo. They’d been to a lot of different planets and seen quite a few different kinds and colours of goo but never one so pink. “It’s kind of pretty, don’t you think?”

“I guess,” Bender replied, disinterested. “I’m bored though so I dare you to jump in and see what happens.”

“Do not!” Leela snapped from somewhere behind them before Fry could even decide if he wanted to take that dare or not. “I don’t know what you guys found over there but don’t listen to him Fry because whatever it is, is probably dangerous.”

“Fucking killjoy,” Bender muttered so that only Fry could hear. He was right though; they were hiding out on a dumb planet with nothing on it to escape some asshole pirates which meant they had to just sit around and do nothing until Leela was sure they were free. It had only been probably an hour so far and Fry was already bored out of his mind. Leela had forbade them from doing anything ‘dirty’ in case they needed to get out in a hurry so the least she could do was let them investigate some cool pink goo.

So, feeling rather rebellious especially as the sound of Leela’s footsteps approached, presumably to investigate, Fry lowered himself to the ground so he could lean forward and stick in his hand in. The goo didn’t come up all the way to the lip of the natural pool, forcing him to lean a bit farther than he was really comfortable with considering the utterly unknown alien substance he would fall into if he lost his balance but if he fell Bender would catch him… probably anyway, so it should be fine.

The goo was pleasantly cool as it engulfed his hand, almost seemingly clinging to him and pulling it down. It was like sticking his hand in thick syrup fresh out of the fridge, a pleasant texture if a bit odd. Right away though his hand began to have that pins and needles feeling that came from laying on one’s arm wrong for way too long so he should probably…

The ground gave way beneath him, sending him into the goo. He didn’t even have time to yelp in surprise before he was fully submerged in it. He gasped instinctively, inadvertently breathing it in, making him choke and sputter.

He needed to get to the surface now! Except he didn’t even know where it was. He thrashed, trying to go in any direction but to no avail, the goo was too thick to swim well in and blackness was already eating at the edges of his vision. He couldn’t die like this! No fucking way! It wasn’t…

~

“…think it’s permanent?” Bender was saying from somewhere above Fry as he slowly came to.

“Who knows?” Leela replied from also somewhere above him. “For his sake, I hope not.”

“You make it sound like it’s a big problem.” Bender’s tone indicated that he disagreed.

“You don’t understand.” Leela was giving Bender her annoyed look, Fry didn’t even need to open his eyes to know that. “Though I guess I can’t really blame you for not understanding this, you’re a robot so it’s probably different for you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Leela sighed. “Maybe you’re right, maybe it won’t be a big deal. Heck, maybe it’ll only last a few hours.”

As much as Fry enjoyed napping, the way they were talking was rather disconcerting so with a groan he opened his eyes and forced himself to sit up. Bender and Leela were standing to either side of where he lay on the ground. Bender was coated head to toe in bright pink goo, calling to mind what had happened last. That meant he’d jumped in after Fry and was probably the sole reason he hadn’t drowned. Now he was trying to wipe the goo off with a pink rag that might’ve once been white but it wasn’t very effective.

“Hey meatbag,” he said, turning his attention onto Fry. “How do you feel?”

“Uh… weird.” Fry was covered in goo still too. It clung to him and made him feel all tingly and odd, like his whole body had fallen asleep even though that wasn’t possible. And it smelled strange too and tasted bad. He turned his head to the side to spit as much of it out as he could, though it did little to rid his mouth of the taste. “I got to wash this stuff off,” he said as he stood up, careful of the probably slippery goo coating him and pooling around where it had dripped off him and Bender. “Thanks for saving me.” Was it just him or did his voice sound strange?

“Uh… Fry,” Leela cut in before he could turn to start for the ship. “The pink stuff kind of did something to your body.”

Oh no. “What?”

“Well, uh… um…”

“The most noticeable thing it did was give you boobs,” Bender finished. “I didn’t check your pants so it might’ve changed you down there too. You might want to look into it.”

Fry looked down at himself and… true to Bender’s words, his chest was quite different; his clothes soaked in the pink goo clung to him, highlighting the weird lumps on his chest. Boobs was what they were called, he had them now, big ones too. Or at least they looked big to him from this angle which wasn’t an angle he was ever supposed to see boobs from so how was he supposed to know?

“Does this mean I’m a girl now?” he asked as he looked back up at Leela and Bender. The strange thing about his voice was that it sounded more feminine and if it sounded that way to him how much more so was it to everyone else?

“Not unless you want to be,” Leela said with a reassuring smile.

“Uh… I don’t think I do.” He’d never considered it before even in passing but now that was forcibly faced with it, he was pretty sure he didn’t want to be a girl.

“Come on, let’s go wash this gunk off,” Bender said as he gave up on the rag, tossing it disdainfully to the ground before starting for the ship. Fry was more than happy to follow because who knows, maybe it would only last as long as the goo was coating him.

“All right,” Leela said, “I’m going to collect a sample of the pink stuff to bring back to the Professor.”

 -

Undressing brought to Fry’s unfortunate attention that the goo had changed more than just his chest and voice. His hips were wider, his shoulders a little narrower – not by much, he’d never exactly had broad shoulders but enough that even if no one else was likely to notice he still did – and the other biggest change was that his dick was missing. He could explore what was there instead with his hands but… he didn’t feel particularly inclined to do so.

Which was odd, wasn’t it? In every movie or TV show he’d ever seen where a man ended up with a female body through whatever means, the joke almost always was that they were excited to touch themselves down there and play with their new boobs. It wasn’t even that he wasn’t into such things, while he did prefer men – especially if they were robots or aliens – boobs and vagina weren’t turn offs by any means. On himself though it was just… too weird.

With a sigh, he did his best to shake it off and stepped into the shower after Bender. There was only one on board the ship because it wasn’t exactly meant for everyday use, mostly decontamination and washing off dangerous chemicals which this probably counted as. There was enough room for both of them though so it was whatever.

“You owe me for going in after you,” Bender said, turning to face him. “It leaked into my everything and now I have to clean everything.” To demonstrate, he opened his chest compartment, revealing that it had been partially filled with pink goo, Fry had to pull his foot back to stop it from splashing on him. Bender then began taking things out to wash off too, including his cigar case, its contents most likely ruined. He gave Fry a pointed look as he put it back as if this were his fault, which it kind of was.

“Sorry, thanks for saving me though, I owe you big. But uh… you did dare me to jump in.” Not that Fry had meant to or would’ve if given the choice, not even he was quite that stupid.

“I didn’t think you’d actually do it. But whatever, I guess this is more exciting than sitting around doing nothing. By the way, in case you haven’t noticed yet, your dick’s gone.”

Fry had to hold back a groan; that wasn’t something he really wanted to think about. “Yeah, I know. How long was I in the goo before you pulled me out though?” Because surely a change this drastic couldn’t have happened in brief awful seconds he remembered.

“I don’t know, five, ten minutes. That stuff isn’t exactly easy to see through and it was a lot deeper than it looked. Which was why I had to jump in to find you in it.”

“How come it didn’t do anything to you?”

“I don’t know, maybe because I’m a robot.” That was kind of an ‘oh duh’, huh?

They were silent for a bit while Fry focused on making sure to wash all the goo off. He could probably safely step out now if he wanted to, the pins and needle feeling the goo had given him was rapidly fading, but the water was warm and… “What do you think of this?” He did his best to keep his tone casual. “Does it uh… change how you see me or anything?”

Bender scoffed as if Fry was stupid to even consider such a thing. “No, why would it? I’m a robot and I’m pan so I have double the reason not to care what your body is shaped like. It should be fun to play around with later though.” He winked as if his meaning wasn’t already obvious.

Fry wasn’t really sure about that but… that was probably just because he still wasn’t over the shock of the sudden change. When he was more used to it, it would probably be fun to experiment with so… “Yeah, maybe once we’re home and stuff.” Or maybe it would wear off before they even got there and thus it would basically be a non-thing, just another weird adventure that wrapped up quickly and left everything exactly the same as before. He could always hope, right?

~

“… and it’s permanent,” Professor Farnsworth finished, jerking Fry out of the bored stupor listening to the scientific explanation behind the exact mechanics behind the sex change had put him in.

“It’s what?” Hopefully Fry had just misheard something. He hadn’t exactly been paying attention after all.

“It’s permanent,” Farnsworth repeated. “It’s not going to wear off.”

“You mean I’m stuck like this forever?”

“Not necessarily. There’s of course the traditional transition methods you could take or I could use this,” Farnsworth held up the vial of pink goo that Leela had collected for him, “to engineer a substance that will have the opposite effect. And then it’ll be like this whole misadventure never happened except we’ll have the means to get rich off of selling this stuff. Of course we don’t yet know what all the risks it might pose are but that’s all the more reason to sell it to as many people as possible so we can find out.”

Ugh, Fry hadn’t even considered what other possible risks his inadvertent bath in the pink goo might’ve had. What if it was also super toxic and was going to eventually kill him? Or what if it drastically increased his risk of cancer other possibly fatal condition? … Eh, it was probably fine so… “How long is that going to take?”

“Hmmm…” Farnsworth held the vial up to the light as he studied it. “I don’t know. I should probably get to work on it.” And without any further word he was shuffling off out of the room. Everyone in the room, which was everyone employed at Planet Express because privacy didn’t exist in the modern age, watched him go.

“On the bright side,” Leela said from the other side of the conference table, “if he can make something that can do the reverse, we’ll have discovered something that can help a lot of people.”

“Assuming it’s safe anyway,” Amy added. “It could still be super toxic and deadly or something. So, congrats Fry, you get to be a guinea pig for a new way of transitioning. Here’s to hoping it doesn’t kill you in the end.”

“Uh… thanks, I think.” He’d rather not be a guinea pig for anything but seems he didn’t have a choice here so yeah, hopefully it was safe to use. But at least if anyone could make something that could turn him back to normal it was the Professor. So really everything would be fine. He just had to deal with this weirdness for a little while.

~

Looking at himself naked in his bedroom mirror was a mistake. His boobs were weird shaped lumps on his chest that hung there kind of like those ballast bags that hung on the sides of hot air balloon baskets but rounder and with nipples. How could something that looked like that be natural? Crossing his arms over them to try to hid them from view sort of worked but it also pushed them closer together which wasn’t a pleasant sensation. And combined with his hips, they gave him that ‘hourglass figure’ that was supposed to be desirable but didn’t look right in the mirror.

He couldn’t bear to look at his crotch for more a couple seconds because his dick was gone! That was weird and just plain wrong. Everything about his body looked wrong now and he hated it. He’d never particularly liked his body before – muscles would’ve been cool to have but weren’t worth the effort – but it had been utter indifference. Now looking at himself was an unpleasant experience.

He… wasn’t just going to just get used to or over this, was he? His body wasn’t supposed to be like this and thus he couldn’t feel comfortable in it while it was.

Eager to be done looking at himself, he stepped forward and turned the mirror around to face the wall. It would stay until his body was back to normal. All he could really do was hope that that would be soon.

In the meantime though he went to his closest in search out the baggiest clothes he had. Luckily everything he wore on a typical day was already baggy and a lot of it a size or so bigger than needed. Zipping up the jacket should help obscure his boobs too, maybe even completely, though probably not because his initial call had been right, they were on the larger side. But regardless it would be better than nothing.

Right as he was pulling on the jacket, the door opened behind him. “I don’t like this whole sex change thing,” he said as he zipped up and turned to face Bender as he entered. “Like I really, really don’t like it.”

“Why?” Of course Bender wouldn’t understand and well, honestly Fry didn’t either.

“I don’t know.” There wasn’t any solid logical reason for why he disliked it so much. “It just makes me uncomfortable. My body’s not supposed to look like this with boobs and… stuff.” And lacking of other things. “I don’t like it. So if we could pretend that it’s not a thing that would be great.”

Bender gave him a weird look before shrugging and moving on. “I swear you meatbags never cease to be weird. But if it really bothers you that much, I won’t mention your boobs or junk if that’s what you want.”

“Yes, I would like that, thanks.”

“That means we’re not going to fuck tonight though, huh?”

“Uh… yeah, I’d rather not.” That would involve exploring his new body and he couldn’t imagine that being fun.

“The things I put with for you. But whatever, let’s go watch TV then.”

Fry was more than happy to follow him back out into the living room. He could really use the distraction of both watching TV and of cuddling up with Bender.

 -

True to Fry’s prediction he never got over his discomfort about his new body. Wearing obscuring clothing helped as did making sure to never look at himself in the mirror, especially without clothes, but it was still there. He could go for hours at a time without thinking about it but ultimately it always came back in one form or another and it was the worst.

Thankfully no one at Planet Express treated him any different. None of them even mentioned it after the initial buzz about it had faded. Sadly, such was not true for strangers; men flirted with him more which wouldn’t have been much of an issue if they weren’t flirting with him because of something he was uncomfortable with and wished wasn’t a thing. Bender put a jealous stop to a lot of that though which was much appreciated. And then there was everyone calling him she or her which sucked – he got called they or them some too which was better even if it still wasn’t right – most people didn’t care when he corrected them but it was still awkward that he had to.

But finally, just when it was starting to seem like he’d reached his limit and couldn’t take it anymore, upon arriving at work, Professor Farnsworth was there to greet him with some actual good news for once. The opposite of the pink goo was ready to be tested. The fact that Fry would be the first one testing it didn’t even matter to him to anymore.

It was in the pool out back where everyone else was already waiting because again, privacy wasn’t a thing anymore apparently, though honestly Fry didn’t even really care that much. But… “I’d thought it’d be blue,” was the first thing he said upon seeing it because it was bright yellow.

“Why would it be blue?” Farnsworth asked, genuinely confused.

“Because the other stuff was pink and it did this to me so it just makes sense for something that’s supposed to do the opposite to be blue, right?”

“That makes no sense,” Bender said. “Stop being stupid and go jump in already. And don’t almost drown this time because I’m not jumping in to save you again if you do, once was more than enough.”

“You say that but I doubt you mean it,” Hermes chimed in. “We all know you’d jump if to save him if you had to.”

Bender glared at him but Amy spoke up before he could say anything. “Yeah, you two have been dating for like a year now and were like totally in love for like ever even before you were official so don’t pretend to be a tough guy.”

“Just jump in already,” Zoidberg butted in. “I want to see what happens.”

“Yes, let’s just get this over with,” Fry said before anyone else could chime in with anything. He stepped forward to stand on the edge of the pool. “Can you guys like… look away please? I don’t want to ruin my clothes and uh… yeah.” He didn’t want them seeing him naked when his body was still like this even though logically they all already knew what he looked like but… he just didn’t want them seeing.

“Of course,” Leela said as she turned away. Thankfully everyone else soon followed suit with only a little grumbling.

Eager to have this over and done with, Fry quickly undressed. After tossing his balled-up clothes to the side, he sat down on the edge of the pool and slowly lowered himself into the yellow goo. It felt exactly the same as the pink goo had; cool and thick, quickly giving him that unpleasant pins and needles feeling. He had to force himself to submerge his head.

 -

Fry was awoken by cold water being splashed onto his face. His eyes shot open to see who else but Bender hovering over him. “Hey Fry, I thought I told you not to almost drown this time.”

He didn’t remember falling asleep or unconscious and he certainly hadn’t intended to. “Sorry,” he said as he sat up.

Everyone had crowded around to loom over where he lay on the ground next to the pool. “How do you feel?” Farnsworth asked, adjusting his glasses. “Did it work? I can’t tell with all the yellow.”

“Uh…” Fry looked down at himself. … “It worked!” he said as he shot up to his feet. He was back to normal, how his body was supposed to be. His chest of flat, his proportions back to normal, and he had his dick back. Gosh, he never would’ve thought he’d feel so good while naked and surrounded by a bunch of people staring at him.

“Congrats on surviving another sex change,” Leela said.

“And on getting your dick back,” Amy added with an unhelpful thumbs up.

“Maybe next time think twice before deciding to play with a mysterious alien substance,” Hermes said.

Of course the Professor had something to say too. “Now we just got to wait a couple weeks and see if you randomly drop dead before declaring it tested and ready to sell.”

This was very quickly growing awkward with everyone standing around Fry and talking at him while he was butt naked and covered in experimental goo. “I’m going to go wash this stuff off now,” he said as he was already backing away. Also, now that his body was back to normal, there was something he wanted to do because he finally could again and the shower would be the prefect place to do it.

He’d learned an important and valuable lesson though: next time Bender dared him to play in an unknown substance, no matter how bored he was, he’d think about it a little harder before deciding to risk sticking his hand in. And to be more careful around alien goo in general.

[thewritewolf]

Old Ways, New Age Chapter 2: Rest

Marinette tries her best to relax, but the world has other plans.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5  

Enjoy!

@marinettemarch​

Read on Ao3

“So what do you think about the Guardians?” Marinette looked at Tikki with one eye, keeping the other closed so she could at least pretend to be relaxing in her bubble bath.

This had been on her schedule for weeks and she was not about to let all her preparation go to waste. Not after Nino gave her a relaxing playlist and Alya had given her the strawberry scented candles. Besides, suddenly finding out that an ancient organization has it out for her was stressful and nothing was more relaxing than a bubble bath.

It didn’t quite work as planned, however. Instead of her troubles melting away in the hot water, she was simply soaking in the most tense bath of her life.

“Hmmm…” Tikki poked her head above the sink, where the kwami was having her own, miniature bubble bath. “I’m a little surprised that they came after you like this.”

“Which part? How fast they did it, or them being such jerks about it?”

Tikki giggled. “Both, but mostly the second one. I was expecting they’d show up sooner rather than later. Like Master Fu, they’ve always taken their responsibilities very seriously and it was pretty obvious that there was probably a miracle box here. It’d be the best place to start.”

“I guess.” Marinette groaned as she submerged herself down to her chin in the water. “Were they always like this?”

A thoughtful frown crossed Tikki’s face. “I’m not sure. It’s been a couple centuries since I saw them last.”

“But didn’t you deal with them for, what, like thousands of years before that?”

“Sort of. The Guardians are a very… thorough group when it comes to keeping secrets. Kwamis don’t usually know about the order beyond the one Master assigned to their miracle box.”

“So you can’t spill the beans if you fall into the wrong hands?”

“Exactly. But it also made it so Master Fu could never find any other survivors - if there even were any!” Tikki sighed. “Sometimes I wish he hadn’t been so faithful in keeping the Guardian traditions alive.”

“Namdak seemed pretty upset about Fu calling himself master.”

“Master Namdak,” Tikki gently chastised. “He might seem like an enemy for now, but he is still due a little respect. Despite everything, we’re all supposed to be on the same team.”

“Try telling him that.” Snorting, Marinette stood up to dry off. The water was starting to go cold and if she was going to be stressed she’d rather at least be productive while she did it. “And respect is a two way deal, Tikki. He doesn’t get to just run in, make demands, and get to be treated like a friend.”

“That’s fair, I suppose.” Tikki rose from her sink bath and rubbed up against a hand towel. “Just don’t let the anger seep too deeply. I’m sure once this misunderstanding is worked out, the Guardians will be valuable allies.”

“I hope so, Tikki. With Master Fu gone and the box with me, I’ve never felt lonelier.”

As much as she appreciated her partner, all the cards were in her hands. The power imbalance made it hard to really feel comforted by him, since she more often than not felt bad about keeping him in the dark. With those sombre thoughts rattling around in her head, she got dressed and left the bathroom.

She passed by the living room and poked her head in to see her parents watching TV and relaxing after a long day of work. Maybe relaxing too much—her maman had fallen asleep on her papa’s shoulder and it looked like he was in a deep slumber too. With a smile, Marinette crept past so she wouldn’t wake them and headed up the stairs to her room.

Her hand froze above her head as she suddenly realized there were noises coming from inside. It sounded like things were being moved around - furniture and papers mostly. Her first thought was that it might be some of the more mischievous kwamis having come out to play, but then the distinctive sound of footsteps made its way to her ears.

There was someone in her room. Poking around in her things.

But who?

Carefully, quietly, she raised the trapdoor and peered inside. A bit of orange robes covered in arcane symbols met her eyes and she let out an involuntary gasp.

He whirled around at the noise and if she hadn’t been sure before, she was now that she could see his face - Master Namdak, the emissary sent from the Guardians, was rummaging through her room.

For a moment that stretched into eternity, they stared at each other, Marinette paralyzed by shock and Namdak caught in place.

Righteous, indignant fury gripped Marinette and she charged into her room.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” Despite her anger, she kept her voice down to a whisper-scream. Getting her parents to run up here would cause more problems than solve.

“Looking for the miracle box, clearly.”

Marinette hesitated. “...And makes you think I have... Whatever that is?”

“Besides the fact that you are Ladybug?” Master Namdak raised an eyebrow. “I followed the aura of the miracle box across two continents. Upon reaching this city, only pinpointing its location proved difficult. Sensing it is child’s play to a true Master.”

Ignoring the way that her heart was threatening to beat out of her chest, she clenched her hands at her sides and narrowed her eyes. “If you know I’m Ladybug, then you know that I won’t be letting you get away with the box.”

The monk tensed - perhaps out of fear, or maybe because he expected a fight. “Now, now, surely you must realize that—”

“Tikki, spots on!”

Just as she called on her transformation, Namdak launched himself toward the ladder that led to her bed. Without stepping foot on her blankets, he pulled himself through her skylight and out of the room. She briefly toyed with the idea of chasing after him, but shot it down - he was more than capable of escaping them before, and with how paranoid the Guardians were proving to be, he’d no doubt made plans in case she went after him.

No, there was something much more important that she needed to check on.

[sweetestlamb]

It Will Rain

Summary: Gang-tae is finally honest and has a realization about his relationship with Mun-yeong. 

Author’s note: This story is coming to an end and honestly I’m very happy it has been very hard to tap into these emotions for both of them, their self-deprecation just wraps around me even after I’m done writing. But this was also very cathartic and I am happy that I wrote it, this was one of my only issues with the show and I know a lot of people excuse and accept GT’s behavior and that’s your right but I couldn’t do the same and I finished the series still yearning for a real apology so this story has done that for me. Provided more closure. Anyway, there is only one chapter left hope you all enjoyed! 

She's gone.

He goes through the ceaseless motions of life, robotic and mechanical, going to work and coming home like he's living in a washing machine; spinning around and around in violent circles.

But endlessly his mind spasms every second as he remembers that she's gone and he has no idea where exactly she might be.

Sang-in refuses to speak to him, exiting any space that he enters and his frustration melts away as he realizes that her disappearance is not solely impacting him, the manager looks haggard as well, dark circles sunken deep like craters on a surface.

His thumbs twinge with malignant pain from his extensive messages to her, 109 messages sent since the day he went to her empty castle, pleas and apologies easily coming now as he recognizes how badly he needs her in his life. Life without her has been colorless and dull, a black and white façade that he longs to escape from. He wants the vibrant hues that being around her splashes into his life.

All his life he's been a blank canvas and meeting her poured colors onto his skin that he never knew he needed, life was meant to be lived and up until the moment she crashed into his life, he'd merely been existing.

He's taken to eating alone, punishing himself for his hapless mistakes, he doesn't deserve to be surrounded by warmth or have a full belly when Mun-yeong is out there with no one, thinking that he doesn't care for her. That couldn't be further from the truth but he has nobody but himself to blame for that, she'd given him too many chances and each time he'd been a fool; why had he done that? Why couldn't be accept love while it was the one thing he yearned for the most?

You don't deserve to be happy. This is what you deserve. Regret and despair.

His thoughts assault him viciously poking holes through his paper thin sheet of confidence. Each day without her and unread messages breaking him down into unrecognizable pieces, his walls crumbling like a sandcastle under the lightest pressure.

"Gang-tae, why are you so sad?" His older brother's voice draws him back from the depths of his melancholy, breaking the shackles of his self deprecation.

He sits from his starfished position on the ground, meeting his brother's warm questioning eyes. Immediately a smile spreads across his face, instinct kicking in.

Sang-tae looks at him, expressionless before he sits down beside him, reaching out a hand and catching his smile before slowly pulling down the sides of his mouth.

"It's fake. It's not real, you're not happy Moon Gang-tae, that's a fake smile. Why are you smiling when you're not happy?"

He feels the dam holding in his emotions start to burst before his eyes are swimming with emotions, twin lines scorch down the smooth skin of his cheeks.

"Hyung, I made a mistake." His voice squeaks from his worn lungs, sobs now wrecking his body until he's shaking apart. "I hurt Mun-yeong and I don't know if she's going to forgive me."

Sang-tae lifts a hand hesitating minutely before laying it on his head, air soft caresses on his thick hair. He almost melts into the brotherly brush, unable to recall another instance where his brother has touched him in this manner.

"It's because you're the little brother, you're just a kid still. You have to say sorry when you hurt someone , you have to say sorry and make them happy. Mun-yeong smiles when she's with you, a smile is better than a fight."

I have fun with you. I keep smiling.

He'd been so focused on his own newfound happiness he hadn't stopped to think about her, how much they'd both smiled when they were together. Her smile had been especially gorgeous, brighter than the sun moments after their first kiss. Her lips tasted as beautiful as they looked, her joy palatable on his taste buds.

He'd crushed that happiness under his feet that day on the beach, callously throwing sharp daggers at her chest, the vision of her clutching her bruised heart forever stamped in his mind.

I might not deserve happiness but she does and I....make her happy.

With a hiccup he smiles at Sang-tae, so young at heart but wise beyond his years. His wonderful older brother.

"Thank you hyung. You're right I need to make her happy."

"Yes she's my best friend, don't make her sad anymore or I'll scold you."

He laughs for the first time in days, happiness growing in his chest like a mustard seed.

Gathering his courage he meets his brothers eyes, finally prepared to be honest about his feelings for Mun-yeong, he's tired of hiding himself from the people he cares about.

"Hyung, I...like Mun-yeong. I want to be with her and I want to make her happy all the time." His confession eases the fear and concern that has been weighing him down, his shoulders loosening as the words escape his lips.

Sang-tae sinks into himself, scratching at the raw skin between his fingers.

He reaches out to hold his hands, rendering them still. He smiles at his brother, a smile that finally reaches his eyes.

"Don't be scared hyung please, I'm still your brother and I still love you. I just care about Mun-yeong too, my heart is big enough to hold both of you. Is your heart big enough big brother? Can you let Mun-yeong in too? She needs us."

Waiting with abated breath he watches the thoughts as they run across Sang-tae's face, shifting from one emotion to the next before he can properly decipher then until his brother finally responds.

"Yes. Mun-yeong needs us. She needs a family, we can let her into our family."

His heart ripples from his brother's generosity, he never imagined this conversation going this well. He'd ruminated about talking to Sang-tae always thinking his brother wouldn't understand and once again seeing that he underestimates his brother, she'd been right he just needed to be honest.

"You need to eat Gang-tae, I came to get you. Come on let's go eat, I'm your big brother it's just job to take care of you."

He lets himself he pulled away, leaving weightless. That night sleep finds him easily, his dreams are full of her.

Helpless is the only way to describe his circumstance, for once he knows exactly what he wants and is willing to fight for it but she remains elusive, not responding to any of his messages or calls, her voicemail now filled from his persistence.

The patients are the first to notice the change in him, their watchful eyes following his very move as he does his rounds.

"Your pretty smile, it's gone."

She's right, as his days without Mun-yeong pile on he finds it impossible to even force a fake smile, for once letting his true emotion show.

It's accidental that he runs into Sang-in, literally. Colliding chest to chest on the stairs to the rooftop, the manager teeters on the edge of the step arms flailing as he tries to regain his balance. The scene is all too familiar to him as he wastes no time to reach out and grab the man by his bicep, righting him before he can tumble down the stairs.

They both look at each other with trepidation before Sang-in pulls his arm free of his hold, mouth opening before his eyes harden and he spins around, intentions clear.

Hastily he calls out, "Wait."

Sang-in halts, the lines of his shoulder sharp and unfriendly.

"Please."

That simple word loosens the tension, he watches as the shoulders lower and after two beats Sang-in pivots around.

Dark eyes look at him imploringly, his expression saying more than words ever could.

What do you want?

Latching onto the opportunity he rushes to say his peace, "I care about her. I know you think I'm selfish and all I do is hurt her."

Steel wraps around Sang-in's eyes as if he's preparing to rebuke his excuses. Ready for a fight.

"You're right. I am selfish and I've hurt her a lot. It doesn't matter what my intentions were I still hurt her and I'll never forgive myself for that."

After a pregnant pause, a sneer glides across Sang-in's smooth shaven face, "So what? You're going to leave her alone and stop making her cry? Is this you telling me that you're giving up on her so she can be happy?"

His eyes dart all over that manager's face, before he finds what he's looking for. That's not Sang-in's secret desire, beneath the sneer his lips quiver as he awaits Gang-tae's response.

It's the easiest test he's ever been given.

"No. I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to make her happy, I won't push her away." He promises with his heart in his throat.

Their eyes lock in a staring match, he hides nothing letting his emotions pour through his eyes, taking down his walls. Sang-in takes a deep breath before answering.

"Okay."

It's such a simple answer but with it he feels Sang-in's reluctant acceptance, their happiness was connected and despite his anger Sang-in couldn't deny that. The answer boosts his confidence.

He has to find her.

He's at work when he gets the message from Sang-tae, Mun-yeong text me. She sent me a picture.

He races to the staff lounge, phone precariously clutched in his hands as he looks at the message. Disbelief and relief wash over him in submerging waves, before he can maneuver his trembling hands to type out a response he gets another message.

Her face fills his phone screen and his heart as Sang-tae sends him a screenshot of her message.

I'm okay Sang-tae. Don't worry I'll be back.

Pushing aside his jealousy he devours her picture, the downward tilt of her lips doing nothing to lessen her beauty, those black orbs shining through the luminance of his phone.

Once his heartbeat slows down to a manageable rhythm he looks at the picture once more, scouring for clues and immediately his memory whorls as he takes in the door in the background.

She's gone back to where he'd finally let go.

Maybe he still has a chance.

With that though fueling his movement he runs through the door, stomping to the director's office.

Director Oh smirks at his stuttered excuse before chuckling and nodding in acquiesce, letting him leave his shift early.

He stands still in shock before confirming, "Really? I can go..?"

With a shrug the director waves him away, "Go, go I did worst things when I was young for a girl. Love makes us all a little crazy."

Blushing at how easily he's been found out, he bows low thanking the director before running out of the hospital.

As he bursts through the entrance door, a car horn catches his attention and he twists around until he finds the source.

Sang-in climbs out of the driver's seat of his rental car, walking closer until they are within arm's reach, wordlessly he tosses the keys into Gang-tae's hands, snatching the metal out of the air he looks at the manager surprise etched in very pore of his skin.

"Why?" He asks, taken a back by everyone's willingness to help him.

"Because I want her to be happy. You promised to spend your life doing that. You better keep that promise."

He hears the threat for what it is, impulsively he leaps forward wrapping the older man in a bear hug before releasing him and rushing to the car.

Sang-in's wide eyed stare causes his laughter to fill the car's small space as he pulls out of the parking lot and drives off to keep his promise.

The woman who owns the guest house grumbles when he arrives but shows him to Mun-Yeong's room and tells him that she's currently out taking one of her "soul searching walks". He waits outside, not wanting to invade too much of her space. He wants her to let him in.

Hours crawl by before the heavens open out releasing wet retribution that drowns the ground. Worry washes over him as he glances out at the road, willing her to appear and to his utmost surprise she does, materializing before him like a vision in a dream.

Her movements are unhurried despite the harsh downpour that has already soaked her, her clothes plastered to the soft curves of her body.

He watches her entranced, eyes feasting. She's here, his heart gallops giddy from her mere presence. He savors this moment of pure exuberance, knowing her well enough to acknowledge that she will not be as happy to see him. 

He's right.

Her words cut him as she rages, cursing his presence and demanding that he leave her alone. She sugar-coats nothing as she rips him apart the worst part of all is that she only speaks the truth. She's not vicious or malicious, he thinks he might have preferred that, instead of this piercing honesty.

She slams the door in his face and he's reminded of him slamming the door on their relationship on the beach. He deserves this.

He slides to the ground, placing one hand on the door that separates them.

It's my turn to wait.

"I'm here for you. I need you Mun-yeong."

She stares at him blankly, vastly different from the anger she'd just exhibited at finding him slumbering on her doorstep.

Without a word she spins around, slamming the door shut in his face once more.

Eventually he goes to find the bathroom, a warm bathe soothes the chill in his bones before he's forced to put back on his still damp clothes.

When he finds his way back to her, she's standing stock still where he once was.

A closer look reveals that she is not completely still, her small shoulders are rapidly moving up and down and after a moment's pause he rushes to her, spinning her around to face him.

Her face is crumpled in wet anguish, tears gushing from her eyes as she bites her lips to contain the sobs that are aching to escape.

"Mun-yeong." He breathes out before she tumbles to the ground.

Instantly he falls with her, gathering her in his arms, she pushes him away fighting to break his barricade. He lets her go. Arms falling helplessly to his sides. His heart breaks as he watches the woman he loves fall apart, helpless again to do anything to comfort her.

"I thought you were gone. Why did you come back? I accepted that you left me, why do you keep coming back damn it!"

Her cry breaks as her body continues to shake and he can't watch this anymore, his arms and heart empty without her weight.

Mustering his last remnants of strength, he pleads, "Mun-yeong please, can I hold you? I can't stand to see you like this, please. I'm yours. I'm here for as long as you want me. I'm never going anywhere."

Her moist eyes peer into his soul, searching. Before her eyes slide shut, slowly she reaches out her arms and he bolts into the space, a space just for him. He fits perfectly.

He wraps his arms around her slight figure, engulfing her in a deep embrace, her tears soaking through the collar of his uniform.

Time slows down as she shakes in his arms, her sobs quieting down until the sounds of nature fill his ears instead. He rocks her back and forth, patting her back as she clutches on his shirt.

When the last of her cries falter off he draws away from her, her beautiful wet face blessing his eyes.

Gently he reaches out to brush the tears from her cheeks.

She blinks back at him, sniffling before sighing and looking up at the skies.

"Okay. Let's talk."

[jihyuncompass]

Do You Feel It Too?

A soulmate AU counts as Fate right? Shhh let’s just act like it is. 

Jihyun Week 2020 Day Three ( @mysme-events​ )

Fate

Jihyun Kim x MC 

Word Count: 5k

Summary: Your entire life you’ve felt your soulmate’s pain. Every bump, scratch, headache. Never knowing who. 

The first time you remember feeling it, you were five years old. You’d been sitting at home when a sharp pain hit your knee. Like you had just fallen, you had cried out and pulled up your pant leg to try and see what happened. Only to find nothing, not a bruise or a scratch. 

It would happen occasionally, you’d feel a sting on your arms, your legs, or a headache. All things with no discernible cause and no physical impact. Almost like a sort of phantom. 

After a few months you had heard one of your relatives talk about it, how they met their soulmate because they felt the same pain. You had listened to them with rapt attention coming to the realization that the strange feelings you felt were the same sensations someone else in the world was feeling too. 

The thought stuck in your mind as you grew older. Mentally you would keep track of the types of pains you’d feel, as if it could give clues as to who your soulmate could be. For years all you felt was the occasional bump or papercut, some headaches here and there. Once or twice a year your body would ache like they had a fever. Nothing very out of the ordinary. 

It also became a strange experience for you to get hurt. On one hand you hated experiencing pain, but now you had the weight of knowing that someone else in the world was feeling that same thing you were. Every injury led to you silently apologizing to your soulmate hoping they somehow could hear you. 

For years the types of things you’d feel were typical, the normal types of injuries and pain that most people would get into. However, it started to change when you turned sixteen. 

It’d been the middle of the night when you woke up feeling agonizingly hot, it felt like every inch of your skin was burning. Your lungs ached and struggled to take in air, you twisted around your bed rubbing at your skin to try and soothe the sensations to no effect. You ran from your bedroom into the bathroom and sat in the bathtub submerged under cold water, sobbing as the burning only got worse and worse. 

You’d layed there for hours, so distracted you couldn’t even think about what your soul mate could be going through to cause them to feel something like this. Eventually the water in the bathtub grew lukewarm and you fell into a fitful sleep once you’d run out of tears to cry. 

In the days following you figured that your soulmate must have been in a fire. The way the burning had felt that’s all it could possibly be in your mind. You spent the next two days doing research seeing if you could find any leads to who your soulmate could be. Only to find nothing. With time the memory of the burning started to seep into the back of your head, becoming more and more distant. 

The second worst experience happened eight years later. You had been watching a storm rage from your window. Watching the rain come down and the lightning strike, you had felt a few things from your soulmate recently. Some strange stings in your chest and on your arms. A sprain in their ankle a few months ago. Nothing seemed to be too major. 

One minute you were watching the storm and the next your back and elbows started to ache, taken aback from the feeling you winced and looked away from the window. 

Then the worst of it began, your vision went red as a slashing pain tore across your face. Clutching your eyes you collapsed to the floor, it felt as if they were being gouged out. You fumbled around unable to see a single thing. Screaming out you crawled your way to the bathroom to try and wash your face, but nothing seemed to help. You knew like the fire you would have to just ride out the pain until it was over. So completely blind you fell onto your couch and put pressure on your eyes to try and relieve it. 

What could be happening to your soulmate right now? How could their eyes hurt so badly? You screamed and cried in agony for several hours until the feelings had turned into a dull aches. Which remained for weeks, even after your vision returned to you. 

Like the fire you spent weeks researching to see if you could find any news reports of an accident, anything having to deal with an eye injury. All to no avail. Beyond the usual crime the only thing that caught your eye was the apparent suicide of the fiance of a famous photographer, but beyond skimming the article you moved on. Accepting that you probably weren’t going to find anything. 

Over time you’d watched the people around you slowly find their soulmates, some were childhood friends who learned pretty quickly. Others found each other at jobs, school, walking down the street. You weren’t one of those people, and as years passed you started to wonder if you’d ever find them. 

While you searched for your soulmate, life hadn’t been kind to you. Money was frequently tight and finding a place to live even harder. So the mysterious text you received one afternoon couldn’t have come at a better time. 

Under any other circumstances you would have said no to the stranger offering you room and board in exchange of playtesting a game for him. It sounded sketchy, but the eviction notice on your front door and your dwindling bank account made the decision for you. 

The man you’d spoken to on the phone, Ray was strange in person. He was more than polite but gave you a strange feeling when you looked in his eyes too much. When you stood in front of him you couldn’t help yourself from noticing the strange clothing he wore, how it was strangely dated and odd for a game developer. His eyes also had dark bags under them and he appeared to be so thin, his skin a sickly pale color. Even if you couldn’t place why. There was something off about him and the way he spoke. 

Still, you stayed, and you played his game. You found yourself growing more and more attached to each one. The more you talked to them this feeling started to bloom in your gut, that something wasn’t right. The way they talked was too realistic, too human even for an advanced AI. 

The first time you heard V’s voice was the first time you truly started to doubt what Ray told you. He answered you with such kind words. His voice held such a warmth to it that you couldn’t imagine it coming from anything other than a real human being. But when you expressed any doubt or hesitation, Ray would be there to reassure you they were AIs. Only highly advanced and specially designed to seem realistic. 

Yet, there was still a doubt. 

“Have you made your choice?” Ray asked you on the fourth day. You’d just barely left the chatroom when Ray entered. The weight of the decision weighed on your mind, you knew he’d come to ask but you weren’t ready, and you weren’t even sure what you’re agreeing too. 

“I. I’m not sure yet.” You told him. Ray sat down next to you on the bed. 

“This place is wonderful, I hope you chose to stay with us.” Ray said. You glanced at your phone next to you. The screen just turned off, the RFA messenger still open if you turned it back on. 

“Ray, what is this place?” You asked him. His face didn’t give off any expression, he didn’t even seem to let the question sink in. 

“I can’t tell you now, but I promise once you go through your ceremony you’ll know everything.” 

Your ceremony? Those words made fear grip your heart. There was something off about this place. Something that made your stomach churn, and even though you were being offered a choice. There was something in you that told you really didn’t have a choice in this matter. 

Ray returned a few hours later, finally asking for your final decision. 

“I’ll return as soon as the game is over.” You told him. Despite the gut feeling that your choice didn’t matter. You wanted your stance to be clear. Ray’s face fell, clearly disappointed. 

He rubbed his wrists. “Ah… I see. If that is what you wish.” He glanced back up at you, stepped towards you. “But I worked so hard to make my preparations. So… could you at least take a look at what I have for you? Please?” 

This was a bad idea. You knew that, there was no way for this to go well. However, you also knew you couldn’t refuse him. 

He led you down winding hallways. The hugeness of the building finally dawned on you. You had seen it from the exterior when you were in the garden but now it was a whole different feeling. 

After several minutes of walking you came to Ray’s room. A dark room that looked to both be large but crowded with computer monitors and desktop computers. You had to squint to see clearly, the room really only primarily being lit by the light from the computers. Behind you Ray closed and locked the door. 

The feeling of unease in your chest was getting worse and worse. You realized he’d locked the door, trapping you inside. The heat from the computers made the room uncomfortably warm. Ray was talking to you, but you aren’t really paying attention at this point. Thinking more of potential exit routes. 

“There’s no need for a signature for this contract. You only have to take a special elixir developed at this place… as a promise that you’ll stay here.” Ray explained. Turning to face him you saw him holding a glass bottle in his hand. The contents an unnatural blue color. 

He continued to talk, but you weren’t listening. Your panic rising in your throat. Ray grabbed your hand. His grip is gentle yet firm, not letting you step away from him. He talked of paradise, a loss of pain, of happiness with him. The more he spoke the more you wanted to run away from him. Obviously this place wasn’t safe, and the more you worried about what the true nature of this place was. 

A sharp knock on the door pulled you out of your thoughts, and cut Ray’s sentence off. You both stared at the door, Ray with a look of confusion and you with a look of hope. Ray hesitated before dropping your hand and walking towards the door. You whispered silent prayers to yourself, for anything that could let you run out of the room and out of this place. 

A hooded figure stood outside, their head bowed to hide their face. 

“We have a problem with the server room. This is an emergency.” The hooded figure said, listening to the stranger you couldn’t help but feel their voice was familiar somehow. 

“What? Of all the times.” Ray muttered. Then he looked back to the hooded figure, his brows knit together. “Hang on, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.” The hooded figure spoke before Ray could continue his train of thought. 

“The Savior is also there. You must go now, Mr. Ray.” 

“Wait, this voice.” You held your breath, Ray tried to lean down to see the figure’s face but he lowered his hood further. 

You spoke up quickly. “This isn’t the time to be suspicious! You should hurry up and go Ray!” Ray turned back to look at you, then back at the bottle of elixir, then at the hooded figure again. Your heart raced in your chest, hoping that maybe he would actually leave. 

“I should. But before that.” He looked right into the hooded figure’s obscured face. “Take off your hood.” After a pause he nodded and reached up, but instead of pulling off the hood he pushed Ray back, the glass elixir bottle falling from his hands and shattering on the floor. 

The rest happened in slow motion, the figure yanked off his hood revealing a strikingly familiar face. Bright blue eyes stared right at you, the exact image of the RFA’s mysterious leader V. 

Still, you couldn’t help but ask who he was when he called to you. 

“It’s V! Jihyun!” He yelled. You gasped, eyes turning to Ray who was now standing up. This meant that the gut feeling you had was right. The RFA weren’t AI’s and Ray wasn’t a game developer, and looking back to V you realized he was your only way out of this place. 

Your thoughts were stopped by Ray who had begun yelling, other hooded figures began to appear as Ray pointed to V calling him an intruder. 

This was your chance, this was the only chance you had to escape this place. You ran forward reaching out to grab V’s hand, to run from this place to get out. From beside you, Ray was screaming and within seconds he’d grabbed your other arm twisting it behind you and pulling you away from V. 

A sharp pain shot through your arm and shoulder as Ray pulled back on the arm he’d twisted behind you and looking at V-

Had he just cringed? 

Was it because you did? Was it because of seeing Ray grab you, or? 

Ray’s screaming in your ear stopped you from going further. He was screaming at V now. Claiming that he’d never let V take you away, calling for guards, for anything. Your arm was aching behind you as V apologized to you. 

“I’m sorry, I’ll come back for you. I promise.” While Ray screamed at him you nodded back, watching V run from the room. 

Once Ray calmed down he let you go. Stumbling forward you held your injured arm, rubbing it to soothe the small ache. Your mind raced with thoughts of all kinds. The RFA was real, this wasn’t a game, this place was dangerous, and the thought that emerged to the front of your consciousness. Was it possible that V actually felt the same pain you had, without being touched? 

Ray left you alone in his computer room as he sought out the “Savior” leaving you with your swirling thoughts. You hadn’t even thought of taking your phone with you when Ray came to you. So you sat in silence, only the sound of the computer fans to keep you present and grounded.  

Twenty minutes after Ray left a brief sharp feeling hit your leg. You held the spot, was it even possible that it could be V? You’d assumed that Rika had been his soulmate, since they were going to be married. 

No, there was no way. It was just a coincidence. 

The next few days were some of the scariest. You had Ray, who was still trying to convince you to stay. Telling you repeatedly how V was a liar. Then V who asked you to say very little and keep a low profile while he figured out how to get you out. Then, before you could do much V had been captured by the Savior. Who you had learned was actually Rika, the creator of the RFA who had supposedly committed suicide six months before. 

Sitting in the Savior’s room you tried to keep your body language clear. You didn’t want to show her any sign of fear or hesitation, even though both of those things was gripping your throat tightly. If Rika could feel this fear coming from you, she didn’t say a word about it. Which somehow made you feel even worse. 

Sitting there a strange itchy feeling started in your throat. Like burning, you swallowed to try and get rid of the ache but found it did nothing. This pain must have been what your soulmate was feeling right now. Pondering this the uncomfortable feeling spread to your head, your vision blurred. Lightheadedness taking over, your limbs started to throb.  

You closed your eyes to try and make it look like maybe you were resting, trying to think of what your soulmate might be going through. The pain made your thoughts hazy. It was all you could focus on. The miserable feeling spread to your entire body, you weren’t even sure if you could stand on your own if you needed to. Cracking your eye open you saw Rika speaking to a believer. Despite Rika’s assurance that you wouldn’t be harmed you didn’t feel safe showing her any level of weakness. Afraid of her taking advantage of you in that state. 

After the sun had fallen over the horizon Rika approached you. Like Ray did days ago, she offered you a choice and decided to show you something. 

Clutching the wall you kept yourself upright. Your head was dizzy and your knees threatened to give out at any second. You kept yourself up at this point on pure adrenaline. Descending down a staircase your surroundings changed to what can only be described as a dungeon, like one from a film or book. 

Your heart nearly stopped seeing V. He laid crumpled on the hard stone floor, his face twisting in pain. His eyes completely glazed over. He looked to be in so much pain, you held yourself back from running to him. Rika was watching him, a look in her eyes that held nothing but disdain and disgust for him. 

“Ray gave you more than I wanted him too. I was hoping we could still chat.” Rika said. V’s eyes moved around the room, searching for the voice that was speaking to him. His eyes locked on you, his face looked relieved to see you. Thought it quickly twisted back in pain. 

Your brain was taken over by worry for V. He was clearly not in a good condition and by the way Rika was declining neither was she. And with how angry she was with V you worried about his safety. 

Staying still, both from fear and pain you heard a voice from behind you. 

“Shh! Quiet.” A familiar voice said. “You’re the coordinator right? Don’t answer. I said be quiet! We’re getting out of here.” Seven’s voice whispered in your ear. This was it, you were going to get out of this place. Watching V and Rika closely you watched as Rika turned away from V, now screaming into the wall. “Pick him up. Now, so that she wouldn’t notice.” Regardless of your aching body and dizziness you reached down for V, his arms holding onto your shoulders as you helped him to stand. Leaning on each other for support. 

One eye on Rika and the other of Seven beckoning you forward you left the dungeon and snuck out of the building. Breaking into a run once you were a safe distance away, Seven carrying V on his back you stumbled following them. 

Every step felt agonizing, still you tried to hide it. Right now V was the one in pain, and whatever you were feeling was just from your soulmate. V was far more important right now. 

The hours that followed were a blur, the three of you had hidden out in a safehouse Seven knew of. V was tucked into bed to rest and Seven told you he had called someone who could help him.  While Seven was working in the corner of the room you sat curled up in a chair with your head between your knees. The pain you felt was still so intense, and now that the adrenaline was leaving your body you realized just how bad it truly was. Your body felt like it was being torn limb from limb. Your head felt light while your arms felt like rocks and your head throbbed from behind your eyes. 

Seven’s friend, his maid? His coworker? Whoever Vanderwood was arrived not long after you did to the hideout. As soon as they was inside they started getting to work on giving V medicine and trying to assess his condition. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Vanderwood asked you once they were finished with V. Who was awake now, but still dully staring at everyone. You lifted your head, the pain was less intense now but still lingering in your body. 

“I’m okay.” You said. Vanderwood however didn’t look very convinced. 

“Did they drug you too? You look like he does.” Vanderwood pointed to V who was watching you now. Even Seven who had been working on his computer was taking a closer look at you. 

“No.” You said. “They didn’t drug me.” 

“Then why are you-” Vanderwood stopped and looked between you. “Wait, are you two soulmates?” Your head snapped up and looked at Vanderwood, and then at V who was staring at you with wide eyes now. 

You stuttered. “No, there’s no way we are.” Vanderwood glanced between you again. 

“Look at that wall for a second.” Vanderwood instructed you. Crossing your arms you turned your eyes away. You heard shuffling then a twinge of pain in your arm. Grabbing it you looked back to Vanderwood. Who was pinching V’s arm while V stared in confusion and slight horror. 

“Wait.” Seven stood up. “V, you always told us Rika was your soulmate.” 

“I-” V coughed, as he did you felt burning in your lungs. Seven waited for a second for V’s response but then shook his head. 

“You know what. Now isn’t the time.” Seven sat back down. “There are other things to worry about.” Seven picked up his computer setup. “I’m going to go to the other room to try and figure out this hacker situation. V, get some rest.” V nodded, a pained look on his face. Vanderwood sighed and followed Seven into the other room. Likely to grill him about what was going on, away from the two of you listening in.  

Even without looking you knew V was looking at you. Rubbing your arms you stayed quiet, under any other circumstance you likely would be happy to know you’ve met your soulmate. But looking at V, laying in that bed, and knowing about Rika, you felt nothing but worry, and a small bit of guilt. 

“I’m sorry.” V whispered to you. You shook your head, eyes closed.

“You don’t need to apologize to me V.” You said. “Just focus on getting better. For both of our sakes.” V stared at you a moment longer, his eyes full of something you couldn’t quite place. Something between longing and grief. Leaning back in your own seat you watched V drift to sleep. A million thoughts still swirling in your head. 

Recovery was slow, but you could feel V slowly gaining his strength back. You encouraged him. Especially during the moments he proclaimed his desire to return to Rika. You had tried to tell him that nothing good would come from going back. That him returning to Magenta wasn’t going to stop her. Even if he didn’t seem to agree something told you he was listening to you honestly. 

Neither of you talked about what you both knew about your soulmate status. Rika was still too fresh a wound and you were still trying to process it all. Still, you saw some of the looks V would give you when you weren’t looking. Or the way Seven and Vanderwood chose their words extremely carefully around the two of you.  

You never discussed it until the two of you went for a walk. Jihyun held onto you to keep himself steady. You both walked down the mountain trail letting yourselves be swallowed up by the trees surrounding the beaten path.  

“I feel that I’ve been unfair to you.” V said once you’d stopped for a moment. 

“What do you mean?” You asked him. 

“Our situation, it’s very complicated. And I know my relationship with Rika has only made it worse.” V said. You stared at the ground. 

“Did you think Rika was your soulmate?” You asked. You knew sometimes that could be the case with people, and based on V’s words. You couldn’t help but wonder. 

V sighed. “Once maybe. But perhaps I just wanted her to be. But, once my eyes were hurt I...” He shook his head trailing off his sentence. 

“I remember that.” You whispered, your hand touching under your eyes. “That was six months ago, right before Rika disappeared?” V sucked in a harsh breath. 

“Yes.” Hearing that, you couldn’t keep yourself from stepping forward and embracing  him. Pressing your face into his chest. You could still remember the agonizing pain from months ago, and seeing him in the flesh made that memory all the more painful.  

“I’m sorry.” You said. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.” V was quiet, you almost pulled away to look at him. To make sure he was okay. 

V was quiet for a moment, your words seemingly not reaching him. His voice cracked when he spoke up again. “So this is what it feels like to be embraced by someone.” 

“Has no one ever held you before?” 

“No, Rika always needed to be held. The only person who wanted to hold me was…” He trailed off for a second. “Was my mother, before she passed.” You hugged him tighter, V hadn’t ever mentioned his mother to you before. 

You talked for a while longer. V talked of his mother, Rika. Even Jumin. As he spoke you could feel all the things he’d been holding in for years. Years of trauma and fear that he’d done everything in his power to disguise. After a while emotion choked him up, especially when he spoke of his mother. 

“I’m sorry.” He started. “It’s been a long time since I talked about her. My mother that is..” He wiped his eyes and sniffled. “If you don’t mind, I think I need a moment alone. To gather myself.”

“Will you be okay?” You asked him. He nodded. 

“I’ll be okay, be careful going back.” You nodded walking away slowly back down the mountain trail to the safehouse. Your thoughts kept your mind busy, thinking back to your conversation with V. In the time in the safehouse you’d never thought about your feelings for him. Everything had been so stressful, you’d never stopped to consider that maybe, you had fallen in love with him. Even if just the tiniest bit. 

The sight of the safehouse came into view, you were preparing to walk through the door. When a feeling came into your stomach, something painful and shocking. You gasped and fell to your knees squeezing your eyes shut. Something was wrong, very wrong. 

V was hurt. 

Your memories of what happened next are fuzzy, the pain had taken over every one of your senses, every once of your mind. Vaguely, you remember running. Screaming for Seven, looking for V. You remember how your heart sunk when you saw him, bleeding on the ground.

However you don’t remember the car journey, or even arriving at the hospital. Your memory only cleared while you sat in V’s room. Waiting for him in surgery,  then you remember talking with Jumin and watching V be returned to his room to recover. 

The best moment besides seeing his face, was feeling the pain subside from your stomach. Knowing he wasn’t hurting at all. 

As V recovered you knew Seven and Jumin were taking care of everything in the background. You heard bits of pieces from them as to what was happening, that Ray was only continuing to attack until he stopped. Rika had been in the chatroom, until she had stopped. However your mind was focused entirely on V during that time.  

One the day of the party was cancelled, Magenta was blown up, Ray inside. While that thought weighed on you and V. You couldn’t deny the sense of finality it had in your heart. Finally, this horrible saga seemed to have come to an end. Only recovery from here on out. 

“I’m going to have my eyes operated on soon.” V told you, you were sitting next to him. Focused on the news of Rika’s arrival at the party venue. “Turns out Jumin already scheduled an operation for me.” 

You laughed gently. “Sounds like Jumin.” He smiled at you. 

“I hoped that I could start my new life after my eyes are cured but, it’ll take time to fully free myself from Rika.” You nodded. “I care for you, very much but.” He looked at you, holding to your hand. “I want to be a complete person, I want to find what is precious within me.” 

You smiled, although your heart ached you held that positive look. As you looked into his eyes you saw something you’d never seen in him before. You could have sworn you saw hope. 

“Take all the time you need.” You said, speaking honestly. 

The first time you remember feeling your soulmate's pain was when you were five years old. You’d been sitting at home when a sharp pain hit your knee. Now, you stood at the airport, watching the plane V was in as it was about to take off. You weren’t sure when he’d come back, only knowing that he would someday. 

Tears filled your eyes as you waited with Jumin and Seven next to you. The plane started down the runway and lifted into the air raising higher and higher, you watched it until it disappeared out of sight and into the clouds above. 

“Ouch!” You said grabbing your arm, it felt like someone had just pinched you but looking at Jumin who was standing next to you his hands in his pockets there was no way it was him who had done it. 

A smile grew on your face as you realized. Going for you other arm, you smiled as you pinched your own arm. Knowing V on that plane felt it too.