#but people have to be much more forgiving of death in these circumstances then they are now

[angelsdean]

ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.

[darkwood-sleddog]

I'm late getting back to this but invasive species anon who was sad about pigeons - I mean if they're causing problems for native species fair enough, I just think it's sad we abandoned them and it's come to this. I hope we can be as humane as we can with them - same as cats in Aus/NZ - roaming cats are pretty unequivocally hugely harmful to an ecological system that evolved completely separately, so much as poisoning etc is unpalatable, sometimes it comes down to minimizing damage.

I mean I personally don't know much about the impacts of pigeons on native fauna and the environment, but I do enjoy them as a critter, they're fun to interact with and I'd hope that we could keep responsibly kept domesticated (non feral) aviaries going.

I would personally be cautious about poisons though for invasives as poisons also impact native fauna, some of which cannot take the hit/risk etc, as well as responsibly kept domestic animals who may come across it or pick up a poisoned animal by accident.

I think people overall really struggle to deal with the conflicting morality that comes with how we need to deal with invasives. They are told to be compassionate to animals which yes, we should be, but we also need to think and act very decisively for the planet at this time because the "buffer" time we had where we knew these things were causing problems, has been largely wasted with incredibly slow action or straight up inaction. Being able to capture and home cats that can be is a great sentiment, but that one method used alone is not the action that is needed right now.

[shanastoryteller]

happy pride!! dealer’s choice <3

Steve is going to die again just a few short years after waking up in this new world and his death is going to be significantly less glorious the second time around.

“You don’t think he’s going to come,” Duke Rhodes says, tied up next to him and in even worse shape than he is. An unfortunate side effect of not being a sorcerer’s experiment and being nearly a decade older than him, he assumes.

“You do?” he asks, too exhausted to filter himself like he tries to do around him.

Rhodes raises an eyebrow. “I think his champion and his general are tempting enough bait, yes. Listening to their demands and showing up alone is also the most foolish choice he could possibly make, so I’m confident the king won’t be able to help himself.”

Those words would be treason from anyone else, but Rhodes has long been King Anthony’s personal confidant, and the one managing this war for the king from the beginning. Steve supposes that grants the man a certain level of leeway.

Steve is, now and always, exactly what he was enchanted to be. The King’s Champion. From the moment he woke up in a land at once so familiar and so different from his own, he renewed the vow he took seventy years ago. To serve his king and uphold the dignity of the realm so long as a Stark sat on the throne.

King Howard, however, had been an easier man to serve. He’d at least taken the time to meet with Steve, for one, had taken an active interest in the war he fought rather than delegating it and holing himself up in his castle. He’d been cold, and detached in many way from the realities of the war he’d started, but he was a king, and his attention, however brief, had always rallied the troops in a way that Steve admired.

King Anthony at least delegates well, he’ll give the man that. Rhodes does not come from noble blood, something they share, but by the time Steve woke up here it was long past something others were willing to hold against Rhodes. His title of Duke had been a gift from the king. His title of General had been one he earned.

“Steve?” Rhodes frowns, eyeing him like he’s looking for injuries that he hasn’t noticed.

Perhaps Steve is more injured than he thinks, because he doesn’t have the good sense to stop himself from saying, “He did not come for his alchemist.”

He tenses, but Rhodes just sighs, shifting in his bonds as if trying to find a more comfortable position even though if that existed, they would have found it by now. “You hold a grudge for something that happened not only before your time, but for something that Edward does not.”

“Edward is too forgiving,” he says stiffly and doesn’t say the same of Rhodes even though he thinks it often.

He sees the warmth and tenderness and affection between Rhodes and Edward clearly and it galls him that Rhodes has so easily forgiven his king leaving the man Rhodes loves to die. Edward is often trying to coax Steve and Rhodes into a more affectionate relationship, but it’s a hurdle Steve can’t quite overcome.

When he’d first awoken there had been nothing but mourning and determination and another war and then there was Edward. Infuriating and funny and warm and completely irreverent, the only person who seemed to treat him as more than cursed and made his terrible circumstances feel like home. Alchemist, armorer, blacksmith – he seemed to do everything and anything required by the crown and with a speed and skill that left Steve breathless. Rhodes may be directing and managing the war but without Edward’s tinctures and potions and weapons and armor, the war would have been lost long ago.

And when he’d been kidnapped and held for ransom, their enemy demanding the king’s presence to free him, the king had stayed safe in his castle.

Steve understood it logically. He’d had no queen or heir at the time and was the last legitimate Stark. Even if he’d been the type of king who cared about his people, he could not risk himself for a subject, no matter how valuable, no matter how much that subject sacrificed or gave or how valuable he was.

But that was just as true for him and Rhodes as it was for Edward and the king had left Edward to be tortured. They had tried to force him to make weapons, to betray his king, and Edward had refused. Steve saw some of the marks of that torture even now, years later, and he could not bring himself to love a king who did not care for that devotion, who hid away in his castle and let better men fight for his kingdom.

He was not required to love his king, only obey and serve him, and that Steve had always done.

He’d earned his title too. Both under King Howard and King Anthony. Being the King’s Champion did not mean being his friend. Not that was something he could claim to be, when he’d never even met the man.

“The Iron Mage saved him and the Iron Mage serves the king,” Rhodes points out, as if Steve doesn’t know that. “Isn’t that enough?”

The Iron Mage is his battle brother and his friend and yet another pillar keeping the kingdom steady while King Anthony can’t seem to be bothered. He holds the light of a star in the center of his chest and uses magic like a blunt weapon, the elements of the star sliding over his body, shifting and changing metals as he brutalizes the battlefield. Those that had captured Edward had found their base reduced to rubble and the Iron Mage appeared wielding a power that not even Sorcerer Strange could explain.

They said he was Goddess blessed, sent from the heavens as a shooting star to aid the king in his war, to ensure victory for the Starks who ruled by divine right of the Goddess Herself. Steve wasn’t sure of all that. The Iron Mage seemed man enough, for all he was constantly covered in his strange shifting, shimmering metal. His voice came out raspy and too low, as if he was in pain, and Steve often wondered if holding the core of a star was worth the consequences, but he was the last one to ask questions like that, considering what he’d allowed Sorcerer Erskine to do to him. The Iron Mage’s humor was wry and ever present despite that, and Steve often thought that he and Edward would get along, if the Iron Mage could ever be coaxed into spending time off the battlefield with the man he saved all those years ago.

But he couldn’t quite lay that victory at King Anthony’s feet. If anything, it seemed like the Iron Mage had used saving Edward as a way to secure his place at the king’s side, rather than that he’d been sent by the king in the first place. No one had heard of such a mage before that, after all.

“Perhaps the Iron Mage will come for us,” he says instead of answering. It’s possible. But the Iron Mage is supposed to be on the other end of the battlefield by now and by the time he hears of his and Rhodes’s capture, it may be too late.

Rhodes shakes his head. “You need to have a little more faith in your king.”

“Why should I?” he snaps, knowing starting an argument when they’re literally tied together is a dumb decision, but like most of his dumb decisions, he can’t help himself. “When King Howard dragged us to war, he at least let us see his face, he made an effort. I hardly expect a king to take to the battlefield, but King Anthony stays in his castle, with his drink and his women if the rumors are to be believed. Queen Virginia has introduced herself to the soldiers several times but the king has not. What sort of man is he to ask faith from me?”

“Well, I said faith, not trust,” Rhodes says tiredly. “Tony didn’t start this war and he’s doing his best to end it.” It’s rare that Rhodes will slip into the familiar name for the king, but it startles Steve every time, the reminder of just how close the general and the king are, and how little that closeness had mattered when Edward was captured. “Although I’ll grant you that you’re right about one thing.”

Steve is exhausted suddenly, in a way that has little to do with his lack of sleep or his injuries, but he’s too grateful for Rhodes keeping his temper while he can’t to ignore him now. “What’s that?”

“Tony is nothing like his father.”

[sinnomel]

Absolutely Peachy

Pairing: Gale x f!Tav

Summary: Tav and Gale's conversation after Elminster's visit goes great. Slight angst but it ends cute imo.

A/N: First post breaking my very long writing hiatus to write about Gale because there aren't enough fics. Let me know if you'd like more one shots cause I think the world needs more Gale ( ´ ▿ ` ) - Sin

There was nothing in this world that could’ve prepared Tav for the surprise encounter with Elminster. She was hoping that she could meet the esteemed wizard under happier circumstances, perhaps when this damned tadpole was out from between her eyes, attempting to command the helm that is her brain. 

The wise old man was jolly at first, introducing himself to the rest of the group, reprimanding Gale for his lack of decorum and grace. Tav thought nothing of it, inviting the elder to their camp, despite Gale’s scowl, awaiting for Elminster’s true reason for appearing before them in the shadow lands.

However, after the food and wine, Elminster’s visage seemed less friendly, less warm. His words were cold, concise, and fatal. Gale was to gain Mystra’s forgiveness on one condition - he was to essentially explode, destroying the curse within him and everything in a large surrounding area. It could rid them of the Absolute, of course. It could bring death to a lot of people if he decided to do this in or near Baldur’s Gate. Usually, this would be a decision that the group would push past, finding the cure for the tadpoles being their priority as the clock was ticking on them becoming mindflayers. However, this revelation had Tav’s heart sinking to the ground below her. 

Tav had become particularly close to Gale, finding her feeling solidified after spending time with him in between camping and the battlefield. A complete accident on her part. There was something charming about the man’s rants, how his eyes lit up explaining the Weave, talking about his cat and how he would spend his days rummaging through the literature that covered the walls of his tower in Waterdeep. Tav never intended to fall for Gale, yet here she was. 

It was clear as day what her thoughts on the matter were, as Gale had asked if everything was alright once Elminster and everyone else had retired to their respective tents and bedrolls. Tav was beside herself, “Am I alright? Absolutely peachy Gale.” Gale’s eyes held a hint of sadness as she continued. “I’m definitely alright. I’m wonderful knowing that Mystra herself has offered you forgiveness but only under the guise of the afterlife,” she spat. “Tav. I understand your frustration. Trust me, I too am frustrated with Mystra. But I can no longer satiate the hunger of the Orb that rests inside of me. There is nothing that I can do. This is my fate,” he explained, his hand twitching, as if involuntarily reaching out for her hand but stopping himself because she’s upset. He can only assume that his touch would only lead to more anger and hurt. If only he knew how much Tav yearned for his touch, how much she would fantasize it under the stars, sometimes without her knowing how she got to that topic of thinking.

“Since when have we ever listened to fate?” Tav asked, her gaze off towards the right where the water seemed to stand still and the only sound accompanying them was the soft crackle of the makeshift fire off towards the center of camp. “We have tadpoles that threaten our very existence. Every hour that passes, we teeter on the brink of becoming mind flayers. How long have we traveled together and not a single tentacle has sprouted?” she asked. Tav was breathing heavy, the conversation weighing on her physically. She couldn’t comprehend why he was giving in to this demand - his life was on the line and would he so easily throw it away? However, in that instance, Tav realized that this is coming from a selfish place. In this moment, Tav realized that the reason she was so uncharacteristically upset about Gale throwing his life away for the sake of Mystra’s forgiveness and to satiate the Orb maintaining its nest in his chest is because she has grown to love the wizard of Waterdeep. 

Perhaps her eyes had given Gale indication that she had realized something, as he asked “Tav, what’s-“ “Do not ask me what is wrong Gale. I fear I realized something a bit too late. I do not wish to talk about it right now…it isn’t appropriate.” “Is it about me?” He intercepted. 

Tav stumbled and said nothing. Her gaze was now on the dirt ground, her heart pounding out of her rib cage. She was silent for a beat, but Gale was patient. If she was willing to speak, he was more than willing to listen - it would be ironic if she listened to his rambling and he couldn’t do the same. Tav, despite just saying that she didn’t wish to speak on the matter, could not stop herself.

“I’m acting out of emotion rather than logic, Gale,” Tav started. Her eyes slowly made her way up to his own brown ones, making this conversation harder. She could feel her heart changing rhythm upon meeting his gaze, how her body yearned to be held in his embrace in this moment, how she craved a chaste kiss. 

Gale seemed to put two and two together, or rather, what he thought was two and two. 

“I know this seems very obscene and I may never be granted forgiveness. Trust me, I don’t wish to die. But Mystra wants to rid the world of the Absolute. My demise might very well be the only thing that could stop-“

“I love you.” 

Gale was taken aback and fell silent, completely off guard by the three sweet words he would often dream of hearing from Tav’s lips. Perhaps he had imagined it? He dared ask, hoping his imagination, or the amalgamation of his heart beating so thunderously in his chest wouldn’t disrupt the orb.

“Pardon?” Gale asked, his eyebrows furrowed as he took a step toward her. “I love you Gale. I don’t want you to succumb to that entitled goddess for my own selfish reasons,” Tav started, unable to stop her words from coming out. If not now, she felt, when? Who knew when Gale would just decide to commit to Mystra’s possible false promises. 

“There is always another way. We’ve constantly found alternatives to problems. Please…don’t go through with this. Do you not wish to live?” the appointed leader of the group asked the man before her. She could feel the warm accumulation of tears threatening to pour over the edge of her tear ducts, the shakiness of her breath not helping her. 

Gale was speechless. He didn’t know what to do. He always painted this picture of how he wanted to profess his love to Tav - a beautiful sunset in Waterdeep whilst both of them spent the hours in his tower, two glasses of wine served out for them and Tara, his cat in his company, along with the countless books he seems to have. The piano would play songs from their travels to incite conversation of nostalgia, how they felt in those moments, laughing about their perilous travels. And when the sun hit the golden hour, the sky would be adorned with pink, orange and purple clouds, he would place his forehead on hers, his gaze focused on her soft lips and utter…

“I love you.” 

But they were here, in this camp, the conditions of his profession of love not met. Perhaps this was how it was supposed to be because he wouldn’t make it back to Waterdeep. Perhaps he won't live past a couple nights from now. 

“Gale…Say something,” Tav said, her voice cracking, two tears escaping their captivity, trailing down her cheeks. Gale couldn’t think of any words. Instead he chose to react, slowly closing the space between them. His hands made their way up to her cheeks, softly wiping away the stray tears. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was torn. He very badly wanted to rid himself of the Orb and obtain Mystra’s forgiveness, but on the other, he had Tav, who had seemingly loved him unconditionally. None of his magic was necessary to woo her. Not his history of being a prodigy of magic, not his mastery of spells, not his conduction of the weave. Just him. 

Gale couldn’t help but close the space between himself and Tav, placing a soft kiss upon her lips. In this moment, he forgot all about Mystra and her empty promises, the orb, all of it. All that occupied his mind was Tav and how soft her lips felt against his own. He pulled away, staying close.

“I love you too.”

[aphroditelovesu]

Yandere Greek Heroes - Profile

‘‘You are the cause of all this destruction, honey. Watch and smile.‘‘ - Greek Heroes.

❝⚡️— lady l: yes, I know, it took me a long time to do this and I sincerely apologize. I started doing this a while ago but I always had to take breaks on account of other matters and this yandere profile was forgotten. I hope you forgive me! I made the main Greek heroes and some extras, but not all of them are here because it would be too big. I will do the female part and, if anyone wants, I can do part two of the male Greek heroes with other characters. Good reading and sorry for any mistakes!!

❝tw: yandere themes in general, dub-con, possessive and obsessive behavior, manipulations, mentions of mental breakdown. If you feel uncomfortable with any of these themes, I recommend not reading.

❝⚡️word count: +2,5k

OBSESSIVE

Hercules, popularly known by his roman name but his greek name is Heracles and in some versions Alcides, is a bastard son of the god Zeus and the mortal Alcmene. He is best known for having completed the Twelve Labors.

"Me and you, my love, let's just hold each other today. No going out."

Hercules is an obsessive and possessive bastard, he is very paranoid and jealous. You are not allowed to leave his side.

You can say anything about Hercules, as long as it doesn't involve you. Beat him, call him names, curse him, but never, under any circumstances, drag your name into the fray.

There's nothing he wouldn't put up with for you. This man would do anything for his darling, he is not afraid or hesitant to kill, torture, disembowel anyone who gets in his way. On your way.

He became paranoid after killing his entire family in an act of insanity, so he's terrified of accidentally ending up killing you. If he thought about hurting you, Hercules would back away. Just the thought of you dying drives him crazy.

He's overprotective too, not letting you go out without him and when you do he scans every passer-by thoroughly, just to make sure they don't hurt you. You can never be too cautious.

Hercules is a suffocating and obsessive yandere, he will never be far from you. The demigod will always be watching you like a shadow.

There's no way you can run away from it. Just allow yourself to be loved obsessively by Hercules.

"I... I just love you so much, Y/N. I love you in ways you cannot imagine."

Kinks: breeding kink, dom.

Nicknames: my love, my Queen/King.

POSSESSIVE

Achilles is the son of the nereid Thetis and King Peleus. He is considered one of the greatest warriors of Ancient Greece and is known to have participated in the Trojan War.

"...why are you fighting with me, baby? That bastard deserved to be spanked! He dared to flirt with you and I'm the only one allowed to do that."

Achilles is one of the most possessive greek heroes of all. His jealousy, however, is often out of control and he almost ends up beating people he considers a threat to your love to death.

To say that Achilles is possessive is a huge understatement, because he is so much more than that. He cries out for your attention 24 hours a day, every day of the year. For this hero, having your attention and devotion directed only to him never hurts. He is revered by all as one of the greatest warriors of all time, he is used to attention and expects nothing less from you.

Achilles is a warrior, body and soul, so there isn't much kindness in him, but the hero goes out of his way to be good to you. He tries hard not to hurt or scare you, his big, callused hands will be nothing more than feathery, touching you gently as if he's too scared of losing you and hurting you.

He is known to be vindictive and that is true, Achilles will take revenge on anyone and anything if anything happened to you, what he did to Hector is nowhere near what he will do to anyone who dares to lift a finger at you.

Achilles however does have some qualities and one of them is his devotion towards you, he is completely loyal to you and only you, he will follow you wherever you go. He wants to take care of you and he will. This man will do anything for you, just ask.

''It's so sweet that you think you can run away from me, my princess/prince. I think that's adorable, you know? That hope you carry, but don't worry, I don't mean to ruin it. Not yet, at least.''

Kinks: dom, rough sex and role play (don't ask me why)

Nicknames: sweetie, Princess/Prince.

DELIRIOUS

Theseus was a great Athenian hero, best known for defeating the Minotaur. He was the son of Aegeus, king of Athens and Aethra.

"I love you so much, my love, and I can't wait for the day when I can hold you in my arms every day. You can't wait either, can you? But I promise the wait will be worth it."

Theseus is one of the greatest greek heroes of all time, his strength and history are well known. He is a delusional yandere, daydreaming about his darling every minute of his day.

You are on the hero's mind day and night, all the time, he couldn't stop thinking about you. He just wasn't able to do it, so he didn't try to fight it, but chose to feed his own obsession.

Theseus met you after it was he who saved you from being sacrificed to the Minotaur and from that day forward he found himself thinking of you constantly. Many times these thoughts wandered, questioning whether you were fine, even how it would be if you and he had children. All thoughts were focused on him and you, the two of you together like a true couple.

Theseus would spoil and love you, like you should be loved and spoiled, like the fucking goddess/god he's sure you are.

Theseus isn't usually very possessive, he knows how perfect he is, he's full of himself and he laughs at the thought of you flirting with another man or woman. He was enough for you and you for him, there's no way you can think of another man with him by your side. But that doesn't mean he doesn't get jealous, because he does, but not so easily and he's downright cocky when he's jealous, pettyly criticizing his rival.

He is loving and caring when he gets what he wants and he always gets what he wants. He really is in love with you, in a yandere and obsessive way, but he is and Theseus will do anything to see you smile.

Just be careful with your choices, because he won't let you go as his obsession and desire for you grows more and more.

''I love your smile, my baby, your perfect face becomes even more beautiful when you're smiling. Please keep smiling at me always.''

Kinks: dom, adoration (he adoring you).

Nicknames: Baby, Goddess/God.

CONTROLLER

Bellerophon was a Greek hero most worshiped in the cities of Lydia and Corinth. He was best known for riding Pegasus. Son of Poseidon and was adopted by Glaucus, king of Ephyra.

''I'm perfect and so are you. We're both made for each other, can't you see that? There is no one better than me for you and no one more perfect than you for me. We will stick together.''

He is best known for his arrogance, after comparing himself to the gods themselves and deciding to go live on Mount Olympus, which was the cause of his death. He is a controlling and obsessive yandere, going so far as to lock up his darling if he can do it.

Bellerophon is the very definition of arrogant and greedy, these are characteristics that describe them very well. He is greedy for his sweetheart and glory, he wants to be the most worshiped and he demands this worship from his sweetheart and he will get irritated if he doesn't get it.

He's not the possessive type and it's rare for him to get jealous. aiming that he knows he is the one for his darling and there is nothing to be afraid of. They were his as much as he is theirs. It is so and it will always be so.

Bellerophon is an extremely controlling yandere, if he could, he would even control your breathing. He wants to know everything about his darling, they shameful stories to they darkest secrets and desires, everything. He doesn't want you to hide anything from him and will not tolerate secrets as you are his and as such you must be transparent to her with your desires and thoughts.

Needless to say, he is suffocating because only the gods themselves know how much this man is always glued to your side. He is always with you, breathing down your neck and watching your every move like an eagle.

There's no escaping him, not when Bellerophon is always glued to your hip.

''You are mine, your every thought belongs to me, everything about you is mine. And I don't share.''

Kinks: rough sex and suffocating his darling.

Nicknames: Love, Darling.

DEVOTEE

Orpheus was a great musician and poet of Ancient Greece. He is best known for going to the Underworld to seek his beloved and failing in the process. He is the son of Calliope, a Greek muse, and the god Apollo.

"Not even the muses could inspire me to sing a song about you. There aren't enough words to sing about my love for you."

If there's one thing we can say about Orpheus it's how passionate and devoted he is to his beloved, his love for you has never wavered through all the years and never will. He loves you completely, soul, body and heart, he gives himself to you with his whole being.

Orpheus loves too much and that is his greatest downfall. There's nothing he wouldn't do for you, for the person he's obsessively in love with, and that could be dangerous.

He won't rest until he makes you happy, he loves to sing songs and read poems to you and they are all about how he feels about you.

Orpheus is a simple man, he just wants to live his life with you forever if he can. There aren't many mysteries to his obsession with you, just that he's willing to do anything for you and your love. He's not in favor of murder, but for you, he'd kill anyone.

"I love you more than I can put in poems and songs. Please never leave me, I couldn't imagine my life without you by my side."

Kinks: breeding kink (he would love to have kids with his darling).

Nicknames: Muse (ironic, I know), Princess/Prince, love.

OBSESSIVE

Adonis was considered one of the most handsome men in Greek Mythology. Son of the incestuous relationship of Cinyras and Myrrha, according to Ovid, but in Hesiod's version he is the son of Phoenix and Alphesiboea. He was the mortal lover of Aphrodite and, in some versions, of Persephone as well.

"I will never let you go even if I wanted to. We belong together forever."

Adonis is completely obsessed with you, he knows everything about you and he lives fantasizing about his life with his darling. You are everything to him, this man can no longer live without you. He just can't and doesn't want to.

His biggest dream is to marry his sweetheart and if he gets the chance he will. Adonis adores you deeply and no one knows why. Maybe it's because you're the one who isn't focused on his looks anymore or just because he fell in love with you at first sight, according to him.

He's very possessive of you and doesn't even try to hide it, it's not like he wants to either. You are his and everyone should know that, including you. If the love bites and suck marks on your body don't speak for themselves, Adonis will do so.

Because he is very obsessive, Adonis will never give up on you, not even in death. You belong together and that's forever and ever.

Don't worry though, he is very loving and clingy to you and will always be there for you. Whether for better or for worse, Adonis will never leave you alone.

"My love for you is greater than my beauty."

Kinks: adoration, daddykink/mommykink (don't ask me).

Nicknames: Love, Baby.

DELIRIOUS

Perseus is one of the most famous greek heroes. He is best known for having beheaded Medusa. Son of Zeus and the mortal princess Danae.

"I could never hurt you. I love you too much for that."

Perseus is the very definition of a delusional yandere, he dreams of his darling 24 hours a day, awake or asleep, you are always in the demigod's thoughts. And he doesn't even try to hide that he's thinking about you.

And why should he? He is very obsessive and insistent in his obsession with you, he doesn't intend to ever let you go. Perseus can't live without you anymore, not without his reason to live. Don't you understand that? You are everything to him, everything.

Perseus cannot live without you. He knows it, you know it, everyone knows it. If something were to happen to you he would go into a deep state of despair and rage.

You can't disappear... Unless you want a lot of people to suffer with your choices, because Perseus won't stop until he has you all to himself. He won't stop until he has all his fantasies fulfilled. And he will cut down anyone who dares to get in his way.

You are the reason for his entire existence and Perseus will never leave you. He will never stop dreaming and raving about you. Never.

Stay with him. Perseus will make sure you never lack for anything. He is so unconscious in his obsession with you that there is nothing he doesn't want more than your happiness. Beside him, of course.

"Our love is strong enough for your petty form of denial. You know you don't really mean it, my princess/prince. You love me and I love you. Always."

Kinks: worship kink, slight degradation and humiliation.

Nicknames: Princess/Prince, love.

OVERPROTECTIVE

Jason is a greek hero son of Aeson. He is best known for being on the ship of the Argonauts and having married Medea.

"The world is a very dangerous place, my love. I cannot and will not allow anything to hurt you. I promise you."

Jason has seen a lot of bad things and bad people, so he developed a very strong paranoia about your safety. He acts incandescently around his obsession. He is always very alert and constantly scanning the environment around you closely.

He just doesn't want anything bad to happen to you. Is this so wrong? Is it so wrong that he doesn't want anyone to look at you? Touch you? No, it's not. Jason knows it's not wrong, he's just doing all this because he loves you so, so much.

And it is his duty, as your only protector, to protect and love you with all his might. And he will do his duties, his duties with all the pleasure in the world. Jason would do anything for you.

He would die for you, he would kill for you. He exists for you, he longs for you. He wants you. All of you.

"You are very important to me. I will protect you with everything I have."

Kinks: degradation and slight breeding kink.

Nicknames: Love, Darling, Baby.

STALKER

Patroclus was the son of Menoetius. Best known for having acted in the Trojan War, where he was killed by Hector.

"I will follow you to Hades to never be separated from you."

Patroclus is a great stalker, he will literally follow you to Hades itself without any kind of hesitation. He also knows everything about you, absolutely everything. Your secrets will become his secrets. Your desires will become his desires.

Everything that belongs to him will belong to you. You and him. The two of you and it will always be like this.

He is a big soft yandere for you, but only for you. This man would never, under any circumstances, hurt you. He could never and never wants to hurt you, he cares for you more than anything, he loves you more than anything, how could he even dare to think about hurting you?

You are everything to him, absolutely everything. All that is his is also yours, all that you want will be yours. He's willing to do anything for you, no matter what the consequences, because at the end of the day, you're the only thing that really matters.

It's you who really has all the power over him, you're the only person Patroclus wants and is willing to commit atrocities to keep you by his side. Only you, you hold all the power and control and he's happy about that.

He loves you and that's what he tells himself when he goes to sleep, that everything he did is in the name of your love, nothing will have been in vain for you.

Patroclus would never hurt you, but be very careful with him, because he can misinterpret your words and this can lead to irreparable actions. It will all depend on you, in the end, and he will always be there for you.

‘‘Everything I've done... Everything I do is for you, my love, and it will always be for you.’‘

Kinks: worship, pet names and breeding kink.

Nicknames: Love, Honey, Sweet.

OVERPROTECTIVE

Hector was one of the main trojan warriors during the Trojan War. He was a prince of Troy, one of the children of King Priam and Queen Hecuba.

''I can't let you out, I can't and I won't risk your safety. It's all for your own good.''

Hector is an extremely overprotective yandere of his darling, he gets paranoid just seeing a scratch on your skin, breaking a nail or just sneezing. He goes crazy with worry when he sees something that shouldn't be there, that he knows shouldn't be there.

He will overreact if you get hurt, even if it's harmless. You are everything to him and he doesn't want anything bad to happen to you, ever. He will take care of you, he will always protect you.

Always.

You'll basically have a bodyguard, so Hector is always at your side, watching your surroundings carefully. Danger is always lurking and he will be damned if he lets any enemy try to harm him.

Anyone who tries to harm you will be dead immediately, but not before suffering a painful and well-deserved torture. No one can think of hurting you, let alone actually doing it. Hector will make sure anyone who threatens you is dealt with hard and fast, he will always have be your protector.

That man would die if anything happened to you, just the thought of it makes him sick with worry. You are everything to him and Hector will make sure you are loved and protected. He will do everything for you.

''Please let me take care of you. It's all I ask, all I need for peace is to have you safe..."

Kinks: breeding kink.

Nicknames: Y/A (your nickname), Love.

MANIPULATOR

Cadmus was a legendary phoenician founder of Boeotinan Thebes. During his time, he was one of Greece's greatest heroes and monster slayers. He was a phoenician prince, son of King Agenor and Queen Telephassa of Tyre.

''You are so blessed to have me, to have my love. Feel honored.''

Cadmus is a great manipulator, he knows very well how to use his... gifts to manipulate you, to control you. And that makes him happy, because you are his, wich means, you are his to manipulate.

He cares about you a lot, he loves you and that's why he wants to have complete control of you so he can keep you with him. Cadmus will never admit it but he's scared to death that you'll abandon him, that you'll leave him and if that happened he'd break, you're everything to this man and he won't let you leave his arms.

Everything he does is for you and will always be for you. For your sake. He has no qualms when it comes to you and will act violently if someone tries to steal you from him.

Cadmus loves you and that alone is enough for him. He doesn't quite understand his feelings but this desire, this obsession he has for you robs him of any good judgment he may have. Everything is you. From the moment he saw you, it's you and it will always be you.

He doesn't like to hurt and would rather make you suffer mentally than physically because it's safer to see you break down and have a mental breakdown than having you bleed out. Besides, he doesn't want to ruin your beautiful skin with scars.

Cadmus can be very dangerous and unstable when it comes to you, so be careful around him. His manipulations are dangerous but can keep you safe from his wrath.

''I'm doing all this because I love you and you know it.''

Kinks: degradation, dom.

Nicknames: Sweetie, Beautiful.

[kobitoshiningneedle]

I think the tumblr Ace Attorney fandom has a weird stance on Dahlia Hawthorne. Even more so, on her culpability, to the point that some people claim that she was justified in killing Terry Fawles and even Valerie

First of all, we need to consider the main message of the games first and our personal sense of justice second, because Dahlia, as much as any other AA character, operates within the games' own narrative, and has consequences according to it. And Ace Attorney makes it quite clear that any human life is valuable and no one has a right to take it (illegally). This message was accentuated in TGAA mostly, but even in the trilogy we have Edgeworth who says "everyone deserves a fair trial"

And (I think I need to say before someone throws tomatoes at me) I'm not here to defend Terry Fawles and say that he didn't do anything wrong. He pretty much did, and the fact that he started to date his young pupil is pretty horrible and brow-raising, even if it's unclear who initiated it. It's also possible that Valerie was a neglectful sister, and that Dahlia's whole family was abusive and insufferable to her. The most important thing to understand here is that even if Terry and Valerie were all-round terrible people, killing Valerie and manipulating Fawles made Dahlia a criminal. Objectively.

The second point I see people miss is how disastrous was the collateral damage Dahlia caused in her attempts to cover herself. Poisoning Diego. Killing Doug. Attempting to kill Phoenix. Attempting to kill Maya. And the question is: in what way did any of these people do Dahlia injustice? What is their fault?

They didn't have any. By the time of T&T timeline she was pretty much a person poisoned by her hatred and fear. The main tragedy of her character is that she spiraled down from a mistreated schoolgirl who wanted to run away to a malicious woman who would stoop to crime whenever she needs to. I think this is a solid example of an anti-arc, in which Dahlia's fate was indeed shaped by her unfortunate circumstances in many ways, but! She still had agency in her actions, and having agency means having responsibility

To clarify: I don't hate hate Dahlia, even though my disagreement with the fandom lies in the amount of her hateability. I think she's fascinating and is a good foil to Mia. She pretty much IS a tragic character, and we actually have a good insight into her via Iris' recollections before the final trial segment - the person who probably understood Dahlia the most. Realizing that Dahlia was yet another victim of Fey family drama, much like our Maya (even if in other ways) adds some sympathy points to her. But I have a firm opinion that she wasn't exactly redeemable at the end of her criminal path

So, do I think Dahlia's character goes beyond the crazy-psycho femme fatale? Yes, even if the game wasn't really forthcoming about her childhood misfortunes as much as we would want to. Do I think Dahlia deserved condemnation in the end of BTTT? Yes, and I personally didn't expect Phoenix or Mia to pat her head after being responsible for the deaths of 4 people and (the other important part that adds to her hateability) feeling absolutely no remorse towards people that had nothing to do with her tragedy. Having complexity doesn't necessarily mean Dahlia is secretly better as a person, and understanding why a character became the way they are doesn't mean we should sympathize with or forgive them

[heliza24]

In which I try to figure out Armand:

My brain has been ticking away thinking about Armand ever since episode 2.1. I have been fascinated and irritated by Armand in the off-season, so to speak, because I love Daniel and relate to him so much, and I know Armand is going to be very important to him. But we were given so little of Armand last season it has just felt impossible to get a grip on what his deal is. I am admittedly not a book reader, but I also feel like these feelings are still justified because the show version of Armand is so different than the book, in circumstance at least. So he’s the character I’m most interested in this season.

We still didn’t get a lot of him in ep 1, but I’ve been thinking about him and synthesizing some of the stuff that people have been saying about him in interviews, especially about his relationship to control. I’m specifically thinking about Hannah describing him as “Louis’s creature” and saying that he’ll do whatever Louis wants, and that this is part of their sexual dynamic as well. I think this makes sense with what we’ve seen in the trailers; it seems like Louis is the more sexually dominant one between them. So Armand is happy to be more of a sub in the bedroom and in their original flirtations. Maybe in their earlier dynamic as a couple too, we’ll have to see. Meanwhile, he’s in the background, arranging scenery, pulling strings, trying to do everything he can to hold onto Louis and keep him at least passingly happy. This, by the way, perfectly meshes with his role as director at the theatre. Never in the limelight, but always in control. (The stage management school of sexuality, if you will.). I think that emphasis on control probably becomes more pronounced as the years go on, and Louis is sitting in his grief for Claudia and more of their initial spark dies. But it also perfectly explains the Rashid act. Armand is comfortable playing a servant role. He’s comfortable observing from just off stage. He’s comfortable doing those things if it means ultimately having a better grasp on the way the scene unfolds.

For his part I think Louis is probably drawn to the way Armand seamlessly irons out the bumps in his life. The penthouse is a cage, but Louis is his own jailer; Armand isn’t the one keeping him there. There’s probably an interesting comparison to be made against Lestat here. Lestat revels in melodrama and high emotions, while Armand is intent on maintaining a facade of calm stability. It makes sense to me that Louis would have leaned into this facade, even if he knew it was partially a falsehood, after losing Claudia. I think this is true even around Claudia’s death. It was easier for Louis to forget and forgive whatever part Armand played in it, and allow Real Rashid to hide those diary pages away, than to really reckon with Claudia’s death.

I think Louis requested the interview as part of his general goal to narrativize and soften his own memories and grief, and Armand acquiesced in order to keep Louis. The original goal of the interview was for Louis to convince himself he really had killed Lestat, literally and maybe emotionally too. I think it’s possible that Lestat is back in the picture somehow and the interview is Louis’s last ditch effort to convince himself not to return to his maker. But then of course the whole thing goes off the rails and Louis ends up facing down his true memories for the first time in years. It makes sense that when put in an uncomfortable situation- watching Louis talk about Lestat- Armand would default to his old role of manipulating things from the wings of the metaphorical penthouse stage. Him stepping into the interview is a big departure from that, and shows how effectively Daniel has rattled him.

So how this plays against Daniel is interesting. Armand is putting on a big show about how he and Louis were able to manipulate Daniel in San Francisco. But I wonder how true that ever really was. I imagine even in San Francisco, Daniel represented a completely opposite dynamic to Armand’s relationship with Louis, which would have hooked Armand’s attention. If Louis appeared in control on the surface, but relied on Armand’s ability to arrange the periphery of his life, Daniel would have appeared to be easily (and perhaps happily) dominated, but resistant to Armand’s larger attempts to control his life. Obviously I don’t know exactly how they’ll play out a 1970s devil’s minion scenario. But I imagine that Daniel’s addiction, and Armand’s misguided attempts to protect him from it, will play a role in whatever kind of break up and memory erasure ensues. Whether it was the addiction or his personality or something else, there was some element of Daniel that was too wild for Armand to tame. He threw him back into the pond, all memories of being snared on the fishing line erased. And it’s entirely possible that Armand feels this loss of control very deeply. As heartbreak and loss, but also as a scary moment when his grip on the love that he needs in his life faltered. It’s possible that the break up with Daniel made him even more determined to control outcomes with Louis. And it’s also possible that the pain that he felt when he originally lost Daniel is causing him to revise and edit his own memories of his relationship with Daniel. If Daniel broke Armand’s heart, it would be a lot easier to remember him as a silly boy Armand manipulated in tandem with Louis than someone Armand actually found fascinating. Admitting otherwise means admitting his own weakness. So memory becomes the monster, again, even if you are the one controlling the vampire amnesia.

For what it’s worth, I currently think that Louis doesn’t know about Armand’s past with Daniel. I don’t think Louis would be as vulnerable with Daniel if he knew. And that would point to Armand once again subtly manipulating and managing Louis, completely hiding his connection to this mortal from him.

Regardless, I don’t doubt that Daniel was less fearsome in San Francisco than he is now in Dubai. (The show’s insistence that an elderly disabled man is just as powerful in his own way as an immortal vampire is perfection, and it makes me want to kiss all the writers on the mouth). He’s even less controllable by Armand than he once was (if he ever was), and he’s intent on finding out Armand’s truth, and the truth of their connection. I was really struck by Assad saying in an interview that the thing that Armand wants most is acceptance. He craves love and acceptance, but is terrified to show his real self and be vulnerable. Thats why he’s continuing to play stage manager to Louis’s love. But Daniel is coming for his true self in Dubai whether Armand wants it or not. And I imagine that is both extremely confronting but also ultimately attractive to Armand.

I deeply hope we get to see Daniel crack Armand’s sense of control. I hope we get to see Armand being vulnerable to Daniel and Daniel being receptive to that. I also hope we get to see Daniel facing down Armand as the source of his trauma (because being stalked, bitten, and then having your memories forcibly repressed is trauma, even if Daniel was attracted to Armand through it). I hope we get to see the way that trauma and fear and desire and love intermingle. And I also hope that when Daniel breaks Armand’s sense of control and sees his true self, he still likes what he sees. Because I would like Armand to get that acceptance from someone, even when his worst tendencies are laid bare.

(Oh, and while I’m making predictions- I’m not worried about 70s Devils Minion not happening, or them interacting in the 70s but it not turning into some form of romance. There is simply no better way to add stakes to the Dubai iterations of the characters than to give them this hidden history, and Rolin has talked extensively about needing to bring Daniel into the story in a personal way and crank up the conflict happening in Dubai. The penthouse is no longer just a framing device, but a site of active conflict and growth, and the only way you do that is exploring past and future DM dynamics. In ep 1 it’s still mainly acting as a frame, but I’m really excited to see its importance grow over the season).

Armand is such an intriguing mystery, but if I’m right about some of this stuff I actually relate quite strongly to him too. (I am reminded of a Brennan Lee Mulligan quote, where he describes characters you love/play as being garages attached to your actual personality of a house, and sometimes some piece of writing or improv shoots a sniper rifle perfectly through the garage door into the house and hits you in the heart)

@bluedalahorse warned me that this is how you really get stuck on a ship, when you see pieces of yourself in both characters, and I do fear that she is right.

So we’re really in it now, is what I’m saying. Send me your Armand thoughts, I want all of them. I will be counting down the days until episode 5 and obsessing until it airs. I’ll check back in on this meta later, I guess, to see how correct or incorrect I was.

[mimble-sparklepudding]

Herbal OC Questions.

A little list of OC questions based on the folklore of herbs in Northern Europe. Please note that this is by no means an exhaustive list and the symbolism and use of herbs changed over time and varied between different communities (for example in the Early Middle Ages, Parsley was associated with mortality and death, but by the Renaissance and later it became associated with lasting pleasure and festivity).

Rosemary - Memory, Mental Acuity and Recollection of Information.

What is your OC's earliest memory? Is it one they would sooner forget or do they recall it with fondness? Do they genuinely remember it? Or have they just been told about it so often by their family or community that they can picture it clearly?

Does your OC find it easy to remember names or faces? Do they need to write things down in order to remember them properly? Perhaps they rely upon others to remind them?

Has your OC ever memorised information for use in public - such as a prepared speech, a song they have practiced, or a story that is part of their cultural heritage?

What is something that can instantly take your OC back to a previous time in their lives, whether happy or sad? A distinctive scent? A piece of music? The taste of a specific food?

What impression does your OC leave upon others? How are they generally remembered by those who have met them? Is this how they would actually want to be remembered?

Sage - Prosperity, Prudence and the Accumulation of Wealth.

How important is money or material wealth to your OC? Do they believe it is possible to ever have "enough"? Or is there no upper limit to their desire for riches?

Is your OC a spendthrift? Or do they carefully consider each minor expenditure? Do they generally have a sensible idea of how much something should cost? Or are they easily manipulated by cunning merchants and beguiling promotions?

Has your OC ever experienced a dramatic change in their personal wealth or financial security? Were their family once very poor or very wealthy compared to others in their society? If they were once wealthy and are now impoverished, then who do they blame for their reduced circumstances? If they were once poor and now find themselves wealthy, to what do they credit this change in fortune?

How sympathetic is your OC to those who are poorer or in more desperate circumstances than themselves? Do they see them as blameless victims of circumstance? Perhaps they might even work to try to alleviate the material hardships of others? Or do they sneer at the poor? Perhaps seeing them as a resource to exploit or simply as an expendable nuisance?

How does your OC obtain money? Do they have a regular income? Or do they live off inherited wealth? Do they earn money from different jobs or quests? Or are they reliant on the kindness and charity of others?

Sweet Marjoram - Love, Happiness and Fidelity in Marriage.

To what degree is your OC dependent upon other people for their happiness? Are they relatively self-sufficient? Perhaps even mistrustful of others? Or do they need to be surrounded by friends or in the company of their family in order to be happy?

What does your OC believe to be the ingredients of a happy marriage or relationship? Do they believe that they could provide these things to another person? Do others see their expectations as reasonable? Or are they quite demanding of themselves and any potential partner?

Could your OC ever forgive a lover or spouse who was unfaithful to them? If they have an open relationship then is this reliant on them not hearing about their partner's peccadillos? Or is learning about their sexual adventures all part of the fun?

Through what gift or gesture might your OC signify their love or devotion to another? Does this reflect the culture in which they were raised? Their personality? Or simply the preferences of the partner in question?

Does your OC believe it is acceptable to admire another's beauty, even if they are in a committed relationship with someone else? Do they feel guilty if they find themselves admiring or lusting after an attractive stranger? Or do they believe it is no issue when they find their eye wandering, but would be outraged were their lover or spouse to do the same?

Lemon Balm - Sleep, Relaxation and the Banishment of Care.

Does your OC find it easy to relax? Or are they constantly tense or anxious? Has this always been the case or have they experienced significant trauma or harm in the past which has made them particularly fearful or tense?

Does your OC have a regular sleep routine? Or does it vary depending upon circumstance? Do they generally sleep for the same amount of time every night (or day)?

What does your OC do to unwind or to calm themselves? Do they use alcohol or drugs? Or do they meditate or pray? If they are in a relationship then are there things their lover or spouse knows will reduce their tension - perhaps through providing a listening ear, a relaxing massage or sexual release?

What is your OC's greatest source of anxiety? Does it relate to how they are perceived by others? Or their ability to adhere to their own standards or values? Or are they most afraid of harm coming to those they care about?

Does your OC have any recurring dreams? If so then do they attribute any meaning to these? Do they find themselves reliving previous experiences? Or witnessing visions of a possible future? Do they ever talk about their dreams to others?

Catmint - Ferocity, Courage and Quarrelsomeness.

How quick is your OC to anger? Can they fly into a fury, seemingly out of nowhere? Or does it gradually build like a gathering storm?

What motivates your OC to be courageous? A sense of honour or duty? A need to maintain a reputation for fearlessness? A bloody-minded refusal to be pushed around? A wish to protect the vulnerable? The need to win against all odds?

What subject is your OC most likely to argue about? And who are they most likely to argue about it with?

Does your OC often bicker with others? Do they complain frequently? Is this due to genuine dissatisfaction or anger? Or is it done in a slightly tongue in cheek fashion?

When was your OC the most angry they have ever been? What about this situation made them so angry? Was it the person who provoked them? The injustice of the situation? Or their own powerlessness in the face of circumstance?

Sorrel - Affability, Pleasantness and Agreeableness.

How easy is it for others to get along with your OC? Are they easy-going and tolerant? Or stern and exacting? Do they often find themselves picking fault with others and criticising them? Or are they able to view their faults and foibles philosophically - or even with affection?

How quick is your OC to forgive the transgressions of others? Do they bear grudges for extended periods? How important is it that the other person admits their fault?

What do your OC's friends like most about them? What might they consider their "best" quality?

How polite is your OC? Are they courteous and considerate of others? Or gruff and tactless? If they are polished in their manners then is this always a positive quality? Or perhaps something calculated and employed whilst engaged in political or social intrigue? If they are rough in their manners then is this always a bad thing? Or does their lack of external gloss actually reflect their honesty and integrity?

Does your OC always need to be right in every discussion? Or are they sometimes willing to concede a point for the sake of social harmony (or simply a quiet life)? Are there some topics upon which they will never compromise their position? Or can they usually simply shrug and let others be wrong? Does this vary depending on whether the subject is relatively trivial or of great importance to them personally?

Sweet Woodruff - Humility, Modesty and Service to Others.

Is your OC ever boastful or prone to vainglory? Is there something they have achieved that they can't help mentioning at any given opportunity? Do they like to remind others that they are particularly beautiful, powerful or smart?

Is your OC willing to help others, even without receiving praise or reward? Or will they only stir themselves to assist another person if they stand to benefit in some fashion from doing do?

How does your OC respond when someone praises them or pays them a compliment? Do they become embarrassed? Do they minimise their own achievements or even change the subject? Or do they revel in the praise and admiration of others? Are there some things they are more comfortable with being praised for than others? Might they be quite content to be lauded for their martial skill or academic ability, but mortified to be complimented for their beauty or sexual allure?

Does your OC see themselves as being of particular importance compared to the general population? Do they consider themselves to have greater value than the common folk? Perhaps because they are capable of achieving things that regular people are not? Or because they were born into a position of wealth and power? Or even because they have seen things that would drive ordinary people to madness or despair? Conversely, if your OC maintains that they are no more special than anyone else, how realistic is this position? How different are they really when compared to the average person? Are they actually in denial about their own significance?

How much credit does your OC give to others for their own success? Do they see themselves as having achieved things only through cooperation and working with others? Or are they convinced that they have accomplished everything purely through their own efforts and ability?

[mediocretosubpar-soup]

inspired by this post by @whumpbby and @marudny-robot but posted on its own because of the zhanchengxian vibes that don't fit the original post and the length. this really got away from me.

may i butt in here with the alternative idea of lan wangji and jiang cheng working together to revive wei wuxian?

for this to work three things must be a given a) jin ling must be grown up ideally with a family of his own b) yunmeng jiang inheritance is rock solid, c) the circumstances of wei wuxian's death must be harrowing. (yet another unasked for self-sacrifice would put jiang cheng into the correct headspace, i think)

so, lan wangji and jiang cheng work together to revive wei wuxian and they find out that the best body given the absence of an original body would be jiang cheng's.

lan wangji finds out first. this puts him at an impasse. because he does want wei wuxian back and he swore he would get him back morality be damned. and yet wei wuxian loved jiang cheng, unconditionally, beyond sense and reason. he would hate lan wangji for doing that.

lan wangji decides to test jiang cheng. he leaves the scroll for him to find. if jiang cheng reads it and never mentions it again, lan wangji can still decide to force him into the ritual. if jiang cheng reads the scroll and decides to go along. well, it's his choice, isn't it?

of course, the next day jiang cheng slams the scroll onto their shared table and says, he found a solution. lan wangji is stumped, he didn't expect jiang cheng to choose this. not really. so large is his surprise that he blurts out, why? do you want to die?

jiang cheng looks at him for a long moment, then his mouth twists into a wry smile. "i was always supposed to die for wei wuxian." he doesn't elaborate. instead jiang cheng sets a plan into motion, first he says, we must make sure that the other sects don't go to war with you. only, yunmeng jiang and jin ling will know of lan wangji's involvement, jiang cheng decides, if they find out some other way, they will assume you tricked me somehow. they'll probably still hate you but they won't persecute you or wei wuxian. the other sects can't know because that would damage lan wangji's reputation and your reputation is what protects wei wuxian.

as for wei wuxian, he doesn't need to know about your involvement, jiang cheng reasons, he hates other people doing what he does so callously and you'll be a prime target for his anger. lan wangji still shell-shocked by jiang cheng going with the self-sacrifice just stares. jiang cheng misinterprets his stare and goes, even if he does find out he'll forgive you, he only ever sees the best in you.

jiang cheng writes a few very long letters to jin ling, to his heir, his disciples.

"you're not writing to wei wuxian?" lan wangji asks.

jiang cheng puts down his brush. "it's better if he hears it from you." he explains. "my words, wei wuxian will find a way to twist them. he respects you, believes in you, it's safer for you to tell him if we want to stop him." lan wangji understands. "he'll try to bring you back." of course, wei wuxian loved jiang cheng. the man himself rolls his eyes, "yeah, the bastard thinks he's still indebted to my father."

"wei ying doesn't mention your father often. yet he speaks of you once a day, often more than that."

jiang cheng snorts, can't be anything good.

on the contrary, lan wangji drank vinegar more often than not when wei wuxian spoke of yunmeng jiang and the jiang siblings. adoration in every word about that past life. the vitriol he spared for jiang cheng of today and even for him his voice took on a wistful quality. if jiang cheng offered, would you still stay in gusu? lan wangji wondered in the morning gloom when wei wuxian still slept next to him. his mind only settled when he remembered that jiang cheng held nothing but resentment for wei wuxian and would never offer or ask.

"you don't think he cares for you." lan wangji concludes.

jiang cheng sighs deeply. "he didn't have much of a choice, did he?" he turns back to his writing. lan wangji cuts in, "you know better than to think him so opportunistic." jiang cheng pulls his hand from where it's reached for the brush and redirects his attention to lan wangji. "it's not opportunistic for an orphan to choose safety. maybe he was fond of me back then but he was young and didn't know what the world had to offer." lan wangji isn't going to convince jiang cheng otherwise, unlike lan wangji, jiang cheng has no doubt who wei wuxian would choose.

-

"we have a problem." jiang cheng states because he doesn't believe in social conventions like greetings and disingenious niceties, a trait lan wangji begrudgingly approves of.

"wei wuxian will have access to his golden core once he's inside my body, he could fuck the whole thing up." yet another thing of jiang cheng's that lan wangji must bitterly approve of. jiang cheng, lan wangji has noted, never refers to the golden core as anything but wei wuxian's. lan wangji insinuated the same thing to wei wuxian only once and wei wuxian's face had gone dark. the next day, he went on an impromptu three months trip after which he acted like the words and their subsequent argument had never happened.

"are you listening?" jiang cheng's brow is furrowed. "listen, i know the plan was for you to find wei wuxian a few days later but if wei wuxian fights me, ...."

"back in the cave, wei wuxian always believed you would come for him." lan wangji says instead of anything reasonable such as i wonder if you're fully commited which would light a zealous fire in jiang cheng to prove him wrong. jiang cheng stares at him. "lan wangji, i've never beaten wei wuxian at anything. we can't fail."

he's not looking for reassurance. what could lan wangji offer him other than insincere (sounding) platitudes. jiang cheng is not a man who leaves things to chance, his planning is meticulous, he has considered the jianghu turning on wei wuxian, prepared enough money and identity passes to dongyin and beyond. he expects wei wuxian to resist maybe even to overcome him, lan wangji is supposed to be the ace up his sleeve.

something churns in lan wangji's insides, he nods his assent anyways.

-

wei wuxian fights, furiously, viciously. but jiang cheng is equally furious and far more vicious.

"didn't you say you wanted to live your life? that you wanted to see the world? what about all those talismans you were going to invent?" jiang cheng mocks the plans wei wuxian made, he must have been listening at every discussion conference at every night hunt. then even more cruelly. "what about the people you left? what do you think happened to your lan zhan?" it's perfect, wei wuxian falters, heart suddenly cleaved in two.

lan wangji has his fingers on the guqin's strings, he plays,

"--"

the summoning array goes dark, the body inside collapses. lan wangji shoots up and runs inside the cottage. the body is lying unmoving on the ground. lan wangji rushes towards it, he's killed them both, what was he thinking?

a fist meets his face, hard enough for bone to crunch and teeth to rattle. it's instinct more than will that responds to the attack, either man would have the right to kill him. he ceases his defense and allows the other man to throw him on the ground.

above him jiang cheng's face twists into a jovial grimace. "husband," wei wuxian says. "what have you done?" lan wangji sags in relief as wei wuxian carefully places jiang cheng's booted foot on lan wangji's sword hand.

there's a flaw in jiang cheng's plan that lan wangji never pointed out.

"we brought you back." lan wangji's never been able to lie to wei wuxian. the boot grinds down.

"we?" wei wuxian tilts his head. "who's this we you speak of, i wonder?" bones are ground into flesh. "you're here hole and hale."

and here's another flaw, lan wangji suspected but wasn't certain of until now. wei wuxian won't forgive him. which is fair, he's not sure he could forgive in wei wuxian's place. wei wuxian leans in.

"how did you do it?" if he presses down any harder lan wangji's hand will be ruined. "how did you convince jiang cheng to...." wei wuxian's voice breaks off.

"i put the notes on the table for him to see." lan wangji says. the next moment, wei wuxian's hands are around his neck. "some notes? as if that would have been enough?" his nails scratch at lan wangji's skin, no pressure on lan wangji's throat. lan wangji is glad for that, wei wuxian would be upset if killed him, he thinks. at the very least, he would be upset if he killed him quickly. lan wangj can't decide if fighting him or staying still would prevent that.

"did you tell him, i was better than him?" wei wuxian hisses as if he hasn't said that a thousand times. lan wangji doesn't think pointing it out would help. but wei wuxian's eyes take on a hysterical gleam. "and the fool believed it, didn't he? all your lies. of how he couldn't make anything out of himself without me, how he was only ever half as good as me? how everyone always preferred me?" wei wuxian jerks his hand back and brings it down in a swift strike.

the hand stops an inch from lan wangji's face. zidian sparks to life, whacks wei wuxian in the chest hard enough to knock him off lan wangji. the whip wraps around wei wuxian in tight coils. lan wangji sits up, avoids looking at his throbbing hand.

jiang cheng's face glares at him familarly. "lan wangji," its mouth spits. "how dare you mess this up? a wrong note? of all the things, i expected to go wrong, you weren't even in my cards." jiang cheng hangs his head. "trust a lan to screw me over." the body goes stiff. and then hisses, "you planned this together?"

jiang cheng laughs, "what did you expect us to just accept your magnanimous sacrifice? fuck you, wei wuxian. you fool. you idiot."

"and your plan was to kill yourself? great job, jiang cheng, very original."

"aren't you the one called a genius? how could we, the mediocre brained possibly come up with an alternative when your first solution to every minor inconvenience is falling on a sword?"

"minor inconvenience, we were trapped! we all would have died! you and lan zhan had better chances of getting out. it was obviously the best choice."

"you decided." wei wuxian and jiang cheng focus on lan wangji. "you never asked us what we thought."

wei wuxian glares at him. "i didn't need to. i could tell what you were thinking. between the two of you, the choice would have been jiang cheng. you because you love me. jiang cheng because he's still hung up on the golden core. i wasn't going to let that happen."

in lan wangji's head a youthful rage sprouts again, he can't open his mouth, he doesn't know what will come out.

"maybe so. but if only you were open to discussing anyone but you, who knows maybe the rescue parties would have found us before we got to a decision. too bad, we'll never know, wei wuxian because you went and tried to do everything on your own."

"that's a bit of a leap, no one even knew we had been on a nighthunt. there is never going to be any situation in which i'm going to let you die for me, jiang cheng. do you hear me? i don't care how you feel about it as long as you're alive to so."

"it still could have been me then." lan wangji interrupts their spat. one of them frowns at him like shufu frowns at imbecilic sect heirs. lan wangji thinks that must be jiang cheng.

"lan zhan, don't be ridiculous how is that any better? you think i wouldn't be devastated by your loss? where would i even go without you?" wei wuxian asks as if current events left any doubts.

"you could have brought me back. if you called, i would come." lan wangji states earnestly.

"unbelievable," mutters jiang cheng. as if he wouln't have helped wei wuxian steal the remains of the yin tiger seal, just like he followed them into the temple. and then the body keels over.

-

the ritual drained jiang cheng's spiritual reserves. it's only sleep. lan wangji drags them over to the comfortable cot to rest and hovers over them, whistling inquiry while feeding qi into jiang cheng's body.

a groan. lan wangji blinks, tilts and jerks up right. a dark eye slides open, blinks twice to focus.

"lan wangji, why the fuck haven't you taken care of your hand? what the fuck is wrong with you?" jiang cheng calls back zidian and drags himself from the bed.

"stay down." he snarls at lan wangji. he stumbles over to a cabinet from which he drags a medical kit. he comes back and begins pulling out supplies. "you didn't even cool it. can you bend."

"it's not broken." jiang cheng shoots him a dark glare. lan wangji refuses to cower under it. "no just bruised like.... what the hell was he thinking."

"i enabled you on a suicidal endeavour." lan wangji says. "i never expected another reaction." jiang cheng has a very narrow minded view of wei wuxian but even he isn't bold enough to deny that wei wuxian had been upset. "he would have gotten over it." which is a bold statement after hearing wei wuxian swearing that he'd do whatever it took to ensure jiang cheng's safety. jiang cheng peers closer at lan wangji's neck and huffs, "made a right mess." whether he's talking about lan wangji's neck or the entire day, lan wangji can't say.

[anxiousdreamcore]

I saw that recent post you made writing out how you view all the Avatar characters, and in it, you mentioned that your opinion of the characters has changed a lot in the past year and a half (I can't believe it's been that long since ATWOW!)

So how did your opinion of the characters change and why? Who changed the most radically? I'd love to hear your thought process!

Warning: yapping ahead

My opinion changed as I began consuming content from different people in the fanbase, as I sadly started out my journey relegated to mostly the recom side of the fandom.

A very specific vision I’ve formed was one of him and Neytiri. Two individuals forced to be close by circumstance, and not necessarily liking each other but they’re known each other for so long that they know each other, you know? The way I see it, they can’t pretend to be strangers, and their argument in the high ground comics, which is the only time any of the children oppose Neytiri makes me think that this is the dynamic going on between them.

Being a Spider fan outside of the recom space was a horrible experience for many of my mutuals, and I heard from more than one person that just liking the character earned them death threats, so I kept to the only space where he was actually liked, which uh…may or may not have been a bit of an echo chamber.

First months after ATWOW came out the opinions were extremely polarising and there was little depth to go around. I realised later on though, I didn’t have to pick a side and didn’t have to force myself to forgive Quaritch, because I never wanted to. I didn’t have to see him as either a 🥺baby gworl🥺 or an emotionless monstrosity.

As I said before, the essays made by Quaritch fans sold me at first. They seemed to provide a lot of proof and I was on board with the identity crisis theory, but as time went on I believed it less and less. Looking at the movie with fresh eyes months later, I formed and opinion of my own and that is — That recom Quaritch is an amalgamation of his past self and the Na’vi instincts/perspective of his new body. He’s a fucked up soup that is, in a way, different than his human predecessor but not different enough to be considered a wholly separate creature. If human Quaritch was a dying garden then recom Quaritch is that same garden decayed to the core, with one single flower emerging amongst the rot, not yet consumed by it. (That flower being his fatherhood obv)

I went from seeing him as a man perhaps capable of redemption and seeing value in Pandora, to a man who, while not enjoying it per ce, obviously doesn’t give much of a damn about the moon or its habitat or its many cultures. All that matters to Quaritch is that these things matter to his son, so he’ll entertain them and go easy on the destruction, just for him. He doesn’t yet accept Pandora, not fully, but he accepts that Spider does so.

The way I began to see it, Socorro is somewhat his only functioning organ. A breathing lung in an otherwise dead body. Miles hasn’t felt anything but manic happiness and rage for as long as we knew him on screen, and that only changed when he stood in the boy’s presence, constantly challenged by him, and brought out of his comfort zone over and over again. He needs him to be remotely alive and likeable to the audience. He needs him to be something more than a chained army dog.

That brings me to my next point; my other big change in perspective was one of his dynamic with Spider. The more I analysed the franchise the more I came to conclusion that Miles is just an unbearable softie for him, and it was really the deleted scenes and the fact that Spider has a new bow in the ikran taming scene that sold me. He not just likes Spider, he loves him, to death. His sacrifices might not seem sufficient, but for his character, they‘re very much drastic, as Miles is traditionally not a loving person.

Quaritch is canonically a traitor to the RDA because he jeopardised his mission three times in a row, all for a single child. His inner father and colonel are constantly fighting each other, as he knows what he should be focusing on, but can’t resist being a father; having priorities of his own. He was an old fool who thought he could have his cake and eat it too; make Spider safe and happy and be a colonel at the same time, but in the end he made up his mind on what matters more, and it’s Spider. The way I see it now is; Quaritch is only truly loyal to Spider. He can hate it, but he can’t run from it.

[mazzystar24]

bestie im starting to feel like we aren’t getting buddie after the mess that was tonight’s episode… this just gives anti-eddie people more material to bash us with and it also means a bunch if buddie fans are about to jump ship bc eddie’s a cheater… i’m losing faith in tim minear this feels very character-death-y

Hi anon!

This episode in my eyes just killed whatever 5% of me that still wasn’t fully sure that Marisol would be written off and now I’m 100% that bitch edy is on her way out so small victories

This episode was neither here nor there on the buddie front but it did have the domestic scene obviously and also the potential for Eddie dealing with why he wants a mother for Chris so bad could be a great way to get buddie even if they’re going about it in a very odd and kinda🙃 way

As for it being character death or Eddie being a cheater it may just be because like I wanna go into psychology so I do tend to look at things from all perspectives and like empathise with more things that make others be like..no- but the way I see it grief makes people do fucked up shit, it doesn’t make it okay but it makes it understandable and worth noting, and he hasn’t slept with her yet (and I doubt he will) so right now it’s sorta a grey area between cheating and emotional cheating, like for me I would defend him so hard if people try to bash him for this (unless they do go a complete shit route but again Tim loves these characters sm I doubt he would ever do that) because he’s dealt with so much trauma and shit over the years that it’s understandable to be flawed and do shitty things occasionally and now he runs into this woman who’s the mirror image of his dead wife? No one can say how they’d react in that situation

Again I’m not saying I like this storyline or that cheating is okay if you’re traumatised but what I’m saying is that it’s pretty far from character death like hen cheated on Karen with her ex because they had history and it was complicated and she was in a weird place and people found a way to forgive her and look past that and buck kissed Lucy due to his underlying issues and we got past that and I think that if any circumstance makes emotional cheating understandable it’s seeing someone who’s the split image of your dead wife

Tim minear I still trust you but I am side eyeing you - like if you were driving a car rn and I was in the passenger seat, I wouldn’t hop out and call an Uber but my hand would be inching toward the Jesus handle because you’re scaring me sometimes

Thanks anon🫶

[yxstxrdrxxm]

SYNOPSIS: The wanderer never knew what it feels to finally have a forever home till he met you.

TW/S: Yandere behavior/tendencies, major character death/s, Wan finally learns something but its not the way you'd expect, hurt/no comfort, delusional thinking/mindset, denial is a river in Egypt and he is drowning in it, creative/abstract rep. of Wan's story + traveler! reader is more platonic than a romantic interest with him as a yandere.

NOTE: After college kicked my ass, I am finally back to writing fics. I'm not going to open requests just yet because my schedule is a little (read: very) wack. Also, I'm not used to writing Wanderer's personality/character so forgive me for any errors in advance. I also wanted to try my hand on writing platonic Wanderer, so I hope this is up to everyone's tastes (even if I wanted to NOT make him a platonic Wan and more like unrequited lol).

Wanderer was not a man that can be easily tamed or found.

No one knows how a man like himself can coexist in the world, but to some that knew him, they can summarize it to him being alive to spite the archons known to man. To others, though, it was more of fate playing with his already torn heart.

But to Wanderer himself? His answer is simple.

He's learned the horrors of Teyvat in the worst time possible.

He never held any fondness of those that toyed with his heart, and even more of how he felt with his thirst of bloodlust and anger. He recalled how his 'Mother' had left him— cutting the strings connecting him to her, and letting him suffer the effects without her guidance.

He remembered how his 'home' was her, and how he was simply banished from it. He was too fragile, thus, he never deserved her care; that was what he would tell himself every night, when his sleep is disrupted from the nightmares that plagued him.

In the second time he had a 'home', it was with Niwa and the clan. He considered it his forever home, for those who took him in treated him like he deserved it. He learned how things worked back then, and he understood just how nice it was to have people care.

He learned his second emotion after fear, the first he learned from his mother.

He learned satisfaction.

But things will never last, not when his second home had been ruined by Dottore. He could only watch as the chaos unfolded, with many of his companions dying. It was when he fled, seeking refuge by himself— for he thought that it was because of him that their lives had all been snuffed away.

The fear gnawed at him, its claws sinking into the puppet's fragile psyche and conscience. He found himself having worse nightmares after such an event, plagued with it to the point that he can hardly sleep a wink.

He was a puppet, so sleep wasn't really essential for him, just like breathing. But to him, it was his only comfort.

His solace to the cruel world.

His third home had been with the sickly child. He had never learned from his lesson with Niwa, but it didn't mean he gave up on hope back then. And with such a child that needed his attention, he vowed to protect him with his life if need be.

He still felt that comfort when he was with Niwa back then, but since it was with the kid, he dreaded losing him. He's lost so much, and he didn't want to think about losing the last person he cared for so soon.

Alas, fate was a cruel mistress. She did not spare him a glance, just like his Mother, for when he returned after getting those lavender melons in one winter night...

... The puppet wept at the sight of his lost companion, who died by the sickness.

He never recovered. But maybe it was a good thing, for he can no longer blame it on someone else but himself, or the circumstances he was in.

Because of this, he began to descend to a cruel rabbit hole. All he could think was how much he failed to care and nurture the people he was with, and how cruel they could be to leave him when they took everything from his sleeved heart.

He had given everything to them, all that made the weeping puppet... Himself.

But it seems like fate never wanted him to have an easy life. No, not when he was 'born'.

Losing his third home, he learned the bitter taste of anger. He learned how it felt so hot, so bitter, and he needed to quell it. Immediately.

Although the flames consumed the weeping puppet, in his heart of void, he could feel the pieces being mend with stitches. Being sewn up bit by bit with hatred, he made it his mission to never show his broken heart to anyone.

If he will be left by his companions for being too 'open', then he shall close it. He needn't endure the pain of losing his own home till the day he died.

The fourth home he had was within Snezhnaya's borders, back when he was taken in by Zandik— alias Il Dottore.

He has grown to be cruel to those that tried to get to him, and for the Doctor, he found it intriguing. A puppet made by the Archon of Electro, and yet... He was casted aside like he was nothing. Was there a reason for his existence, if not to be a waste?

Zandik sought to find the answer to it, but he was amused with how the puppet tried to act like he was the boss of him. That a harbinger with a higher position must fear the one who is lower than him— how laughable.

The first few months, the Tsaritsa had kept him as a way to keep the grunts in line. She had a vision, but seeing just how useful the vengeful puppet could be, she sought to tie him in her strings.

But she forgot that the puppet she's taking care of is a feisty one. One that has seen the horrors of the world, and his heart had been torn and mended with hatred.

So, she decided to let Zandik take care of him— make him easier to mend and break, should he find it to be necessary. It was her personal assignment to the Doctor, and one that he took without a single moment of hesitation.

And so, the change began.

The small, single tap of the rock disturbed the tranquil waters, and lightning seem to follow suit. It traveled across the bodies of the liquid, much like how the pain traveled to his limbs, making him cry and grit his teeth in agony.

The sparks of one man can only be alive for so long till it was snuffed, but to Zandik, he saw him as an everlasting, combusting fire. One made of lightning and snow, and sculpted to be of her likeness but riddled with flaws.

The Tsaritsa wanted a puppet, and so did the Shogun. The difference, however, is that one exploits a puppet's weakness for their mistaken strength, while the other abandons them should they lack the qualities needed for perfection.

As more of those changes began to take effect on him, so did those ripples in the tranquil waves grew stronger. Each one of those ripples served as a scar, one that he couldn't forget so easily, no matter how much he tampered with Irminsul.

Each time he felt that lightning strike him, pain would follow him, electrifying him and letting him adapt to the strikes as normal. Every time frost would gnaw deeper into the trenches, all he can do is hold himself steady while it ate at him.

The man made of tranquil waters, of waves that disturb them when it became too intense, had nothing been more than dust. In its wake was the culmination of lightning, of sparks flying and encased in a thick sheet of snow.

When Zandik showed the puppet's state, she found it amusing... And essential. To her, he now became a tool, and not a liability.

His original venture to find himself had long since been forgotten, only leaving with the thirst to seek answers of the world and do the goals that the Tsaritsa wants him to do.

He became the 6th Harbinger that day, and she was the second to bestow him the name he took by heart.

Scaramouche.

As the identity of the Balladeer slips into his fingertips, he wore it like it was made for him. At the time, it felt like... It was. It fits him better than those light robes of Kunikuzushi, the name that was bestowed by Niwa and his clan.

...

The name that held far too bitter thoughts and memories, and that was tied to karma that followed him.

Abandoning the robes and donning the skin of a Fatuu, the wandering man found himself another home: one that he himself knew— in his heart, at least— that wasn't for him.

It was more of a stationary, but truly, he wasn't going to complain.

In his service of the Balladeer, he has done many crimes that can put him under the radar of the court: he had the pleasure to commit mass murder should he find it necessary with his lackeys, manipulate them to do his bidding, and even punish them with the use of his Delusion if he felt that they were going too far.

Back then, all he had as a goal was to learn the truth behind his mere existence. However, what he received at the end was not that, but of the world.

It was, surprisingly enough, when he met... You.

He never found you as pleasant to be around. Just like those he's seen, he saw you as a nuisance— a bumbling buffoon, seeking for answers that will never come your way.

Alas, for the sake of his mission, he must treat you with regard. So, he began to feed your head with lies and false kindness, but your companion, that astrologist, knew what he was up to when she saw him.

Was it because of how he acted? Or was it because of her power?

Still, whatever it could've been, it was pointless for him to dig into. He only saw you and your companions as annoying, and even your goals were nothing but a bitter, laughable reminder of his ignorance as Kunikuzushi.

Truly, you are quite ignorant of the truth. Too ignorant for him to tolerate for even a single moment!

Although, in some part of him, he found it bitter to see your face twist in expressions best regarded to be... Saddening. Perhaps of agony, to be more precise. In some sense, he still cared, but it was difficult to tell why.

... Why did he cared, still? For even a stranger he'd never see again?

...

He didn't knew.

But for the time being, he made it his only vow to never see you. He never wished to see you in his waking lifetime, especially if you were to stop him in his main goal.

To achieve Godhood.

Being a God made by humans is not easy. In actuality, he would much rather not have to go through such a thing again in hindsight.

Still, in the height of his trainwreck of a journey, he decided to give it a try. He wanted to achieve what he had been working for, especially now that he had wrecked his own 'home' that she gave him.

The home she made for him was too fragile, and the body he was in was enough. For the puppet, he wanted nothing more than to ruin those that thought of using him— and what better way than to achieve it by playing the role of God?

Still, in the midst of trying to reach the impossible, he had to sacrifice everything.

He had to endure the worst of the worst: the pain of ice hitting him and causing splinters to his case, the claps of thunder sending him high sparks of agony, and even the fluids used to taint his once peaceful waters, making him into a bomb set to explode should one mishandle him.

It was the Doctor who had managed to get to him and mold him to how he likes it. This, he is also responsible of fixing him to fit the role he wants— a God.

The ones that worked under him, the scribes, all worshipped and revered him. They fed him all the knowledge one needed and more, causing him to develop a complex as big as the world in its entirety.

With the knowledge in his mind and power from the Gnosis, he could confidently say that he reached what any foolish, puny mortal couldn't: he became the archon of the nation of knowledge, snuffing out the two Archons's names and those that opposed him.

However, much like before, his heart remained the state that it was. Amidst the sudden surge of authority, it still felt empty. Hollow. Like a huge part of it is missing.

He thought the Gnosis will take care of that need, that it would be enough for him as he's got the means to an end. Whatever he desires, he will get it without much of a fuss.

... Right?

Well, he found out to be wrong. Very wrong.

To him, being a God isn't enough. He still had things he wanted to achieve as one, and he didn't like how some of them are impossible to attain.

Like removing an existing archon.

Though, maybe he shouldn't have his hopes up, especially when his time is limited when Buer entered the room with you.

Ah, right. He forgot about you— the traveler, who he met time and time again. First in the lands of freedom, then in the land of contracts, and even in the buildings of his first 'home'...

... And now you, who he contacted back when he was in his last stage to become a full fledged archon. One where he is prepared to commence another archon war among them.

Of course, you were not happy to see him. Buer must've told you what was going on, but he wasn't expecting to hear you cry out and try to reason with him.

...

How pathetic. Do you honestly think he'd listen? He'd rather have you killed by his own hands if you weren't so— so interesting to him.

And so the battle commenced.

You were the first to take the stand, and he noticed how quick you were to jump to conclusions. You spouted nonsense at how he couldn't do what he's doing right now, for (in your eyes), it is 'immoral' and 'killing a God to become one is impossible'.

Honestly, what do you even see to think of such a conclusion? He wondered if you ever truly saw the mask underneath their facades, with how you seem to defend the smallest immortal being without a single moment to think of her power.

Still, he couldn't help but humor you, so he let you do as you wished. He let you fight him even if it was pointless, thriving at the idea that you will wear yourself out by the end of it.

You'll lose your footing at some point with how pointless this battle is— that's something he's sure of.

However, as you two fought, he couldn't help but realize with how you two were two different people. Had you two met back then, back where he wasn't tainted by the sights of the world and retained his innocence... Would you two get along?

Would you ever see him the way you do now: with resentment, judgement, and maybe a hint of pity?

He didn't knew the answer to that. If anything, he could hardly know the answer to a possibility that wouldn't happen, and especially with the roads you two took that negated such a thing.

You took the road to the light— as blinding as it may be, you chose that for yourself to achieve your goals of searching for your kin.

He, however, took the road to the abyss— for the roads he took before forsook him, and he couldn't help but shut his eyes from the truth.

That was one thing that separated you both. And for him, it felt like a weight rested on his shoulders.

However, as you two fought for the right to take down the opposition, he could feel the weight rest on him. The longer that you two spent together, he could see flashes of his past memories—

—his time back then with his 'mother,

—the time he spent with Niwa and the clan,

—and even how he spent the rest of his few years with the kid.

Those memories were all but locked in the recesses of his heart, and for him, he couldn't help but recoil at each sight. It made him remember that he, too, is flawed.

It made him realize that he was, and always is, alone in his fight.

The last clang of metal hit steel, and for once, the unthinkable had happened.

He... Lost.

The body of his began to shut down, months and years spent on creating the perfect and ideal vessel laid nothing to waste. The battlefield had long been wasted and ruined, but he couldn't help but ignore it.

For his eyes rest upon you; the one who took him down, who made him remember who he was back then.

And the one aiding him to be rid of his 'heart'.

Looking back at that moment, he never understood your decision to let him go.

Did you knew what his past life had been? Or did you see him as a man that can still be salvaged, no matter the consequences it may bring?

Wanderer never understood that from you, and he knew that maybe, he never will.

Standing before your body before him, he could feel blood drip from his hands. You were too easy to use and manipulate sometimes, but maybe, just maybe... He had felt pity for you.

Was he rash to simply repeat his first mistake? Maybe. But then again, he has done much more atrocities than the world could ever remember.

You asked him what he saw home to be once, but what he answered was it being akin of a house of cards.

It is always meant to be taken down, no matter how strong it is.

Still, he couldn't help but sigh. He's learned so much from you, and yet all he gave you was pain. How pitiful of him, as he simply toyed with your hopes to have him change for the better.

Raising your head by the hair, his lips simply curved itself to a smile.

But maybe, just maybe, he could accept one last lesson from you. You helped him realize one thing, after all.

That he is able to grant you salvation, even when he is nothing but a sham.

Cradling your body, he let the touch of crimson taint the poisoned waters, his previous face and identity all but melted away by your touch. He was sick in the head, but you gave him a new skin to wear.

Yours will do, he thinks. So pretty yet so tainted because of him, one that he had no shame of using for his selfish desires.

He was a man undeserving of a place he called home. He's destined to be alone, especially due to his crimes that deserved it's death row.

But with you in his arms, even if you two were never lovers... He can wear your skin as his new identity. You did chose it for him, did you not?

It's only right for a 'friend' to honor one's memory by using their skin and blood, after all.

And Wanderer will do what it takes to honor your memory in the way he knew best.

"Even now, we're all alone. Just like what we're destined to be."

@.throw-letter-away | do not republish or repost my works anywhere | 2023

[inaris-mage-of-storms]

}{ I Found Love Where It Wasn't Supposed To Be }{ An Empires S1 Scwhip AU }{ Content warning for suicidal thoughts. }{ next part }{

Tyrant.

Madman.

Demon sympathizer.

Scott sighed. Or he thought he did; the wind snatched away his breath so thoroughly he couldn't really tell. It stung what little skin was exposed on his face, but the sharpest part of it was the way he could hear his people's complaints in its howls.

He'd tried his hardest, these last three years, and Rivendell was well on its way to...maybe not a full recovery, but as full a recovery as any empire would have been able to manage given the circumstances. Sure, it had meant he had to make some less than popular decisions, but his kingdom was stronger because of it. His people were sheltered and fed while so much of the rest of the world shivered and starved. But because he also extended one hand in forgiveness to a former enemy and the other in offering to former allies, his efforts were for naught.

You should have died, your majesty.

Now the wind sounded like his longest-serving advisor. You should have died, the old man had told him, and Scott knew it wasn't an expression of surprise, but an admonishment. That the Rune Blade failed to kill him wasn't a miracle, but a mistake.

The wind and snow grew so cold it chilled even him, and Scott smiled bitterly. Well. No one could say he wasn't one to correct his mistakes. Let the blizzard take what the blade couldn't.

There was a cave near the top of the desolate mountain Scott climbed now, one only he knew about. Though calling it a cave was being generous; it was closer to a sheltered nook amidst the rocks for all the space it offered, barely large enough for a single elf in a traveling cloak. If he'd carried any supplies besides the waterskin and dagger tied to his belt, it would have been a tight fit. As it was, he knew from experience that there was just enough space to curl up inside and ice himself in. The water with him would last a day, and when it ran out he would have a few more after that to lie alone with his thoughts before it became absolutely necessary to leave in order to seek out food and fresh water.

Scott squinted through the blowing snow, finally able to spot his destination. His plan was the same as it had been the last two times he came here. If he was meant to keep going, the handful of days in isolation would be enough to clear his thoughts and let his resolve return. If he was meant to keep ruling, he would find the motivation to leave the cave. And if he wasn't...well. Xornoth was always complaining that Scott didn't get enough sleep. A very long rest in a frozen tomb should at least rid him of the bags under his eyes.

Despite his macabre jest, the thought of his sibling was the only regret that tugged at Scott's heart and whispered that this might be a mistake. Despite their attempts at atonement, despite it being their magic that brought Scott back from the brink of death, and despite their invaluable assistance in Rivendell's recovery after the cataclysm, the empire shunned them for their sins. It was only a hotly contested decree from Scott that allowed Xornoth to return to the land that had exiled them. Scott was the only one in all of Rivendell to speak to them or even acknowledge their presence most days. If he didn't return, they would be entirely alone.

But even that wasn't enough to cut through the dark fog that weighed down his thoughts. He'd spent so long working himself to the bone for his empire, and for the empires of his friends - the ones that had survived, anyway. But like Xornoth, Scott was utterly alone except for the awkward, fragile bond with his sibling. Pearl was dead. Lizzie had been found wandering, nearly unresponsive, and every second of Joel's time was spent caring for her. Everyone else was just...gone. Even Jimmy had disappeared, and Scott's stomach churned with unease every time he let himself think about what could possibly have prevented his betrothed from coming back to him. Some months ago an apologetic Fwhip had returned from wherever he and Gem had fled to, swearing that he would help the survivors of his empire rebuild. But then he vanished again, and Scott's hopes of having one remaining ally vanished with him.

Once, Scott had exiled himself to a frozen mountain to be alone. Now, he exiled himself to a frozen mountain because he was alone. He was so, so lonely these days. The end of the world had strengthened so many bonds across the empires as people clung desperately to what remained, but it had severed all of his. Every effort he'd put into finding the missing rulers came up empty. His advisors questioned every decision he made with suspicion, and far too many of his people looked at him with fear and anger.

He'd done all he could, and then some. There was nothing left to do now except this. Scott squeezed into the cave, and with the smallest curl of his fingers, a wall of ice swept across the entrance and cut him off from the blizzard. From the world. Scott sighed, his back to the wall, then slid down to the ground. He was really, truly -

- not alone?

His hand brushed something that was neither stone nor snow, and he looked down with a start. The ice was so thick that it turned the midday sun into twilight, and he could barely make out the shape huddled into the corner. Even so, the scales he felt under his palm as he ran his hand over the form were unmistakable. In a secret cave near the top of an uninhabited mountain in the middle of a blizzard, Scott found himself in the company of a dragon.

It took only seconds for Scott's shock and confusion to turn into worry. The mountains of Rivendell were colder than those of any other empire by far, and this was one of the coldest. Dragons, no matter what type, were by nature creatures of heat. Larger ones could rely on their own strength and magic to keep warm in chilly environments, but this one was small. It was almost as small as Gem's hatchling, despite what seemed to be the proportions of an adult, and its breath was faint as it slept. No warmth emanated from its dark scales; it was as cold as the ice that encased them both.

Cursing his decision to not bring a tinder box or even a small flint, Scott bundled the dragon into his robes and against his body before he could even think about it. Maybe, like him, the creature had come out here to die. But maybe it hadn't. Careless as he was with his own life, Scott refused to be careless with the lives of others. And certainly not now, when so few lives remained. Every one of them was more precious than ever.

The ice crumbled easily with a flick of his hand, and Scott had never been so grateful for the strides he'd made with his magic these last three years. Even the wind was weakening, though he couldn't tell if it was coincidence or conscious effort. It didn't matter; there was no time to think about it. Scott stepped out of his intended tomb, unfurled snowy wings from under his cloak, and raced toward the warmth of home.

}{

Warmth.

That was all Fwhip had the strength to be aware of, that smallest bit of warmth against his frozen body. He didn't know what it was or where it came from, but he didn't have it in him to care. He'd been so, so cold for so, so long, and now there was warmth again. The source didn't matter.

Where was he? He couldn't remember. He'd been attacked...somewhere. By someone. He was vaguely aware of that, but no details came to mind. Someone versed in magic, surely; he could feel the invisible chains of a curse wrapped tightly around his own magic. Around his body, binding his form to something small. Around his throat, binding his ability to communicate.

It didn't matter, not right now. Fwhip would find the strength to be furious later. He was just grateful that there would be a later, thanks to this small spark of warmth. For now, Fwhip allowed darkness to keep its hold on him a little longer as he slipped back into slumber.

}{ next part }{

[darkfire359]

What could have been: sympathizing with Ed in season 2

I've talked before about how much I love Ed and all his complexity. I've written more fanfic about him and Izzy than any other characters, in my entire history of fandom. And unlike many people, I wasn't unprepared for the dark direction his arc took in season 2; I wanted him to commit MORE atrocities, and I happily made comparisons between him and another one of my favorite characters, Hannibal Lector.

But one of the key things I wanted after he committed atrocities was for him to feel bad about it. And I thought we'd see that! After all, S1 Ed was so tormented about killing his dad (who was abusive and violent towards) him that he never killed (directly) again! He was so broken up about trying to kill Stede in s1e6 that he ended up crying in a bathtub. Just like he cried in the window sill after committing all the kraken horrors in s1e10. It seemed like this was a guy scared of his own inner darkness, convinced he was a monster, who would go around saying things like "I'm not a good person" and "You were always going to realize who I am."

And so even when s2 went darker than anyone expected—when he cut off more of Izzy's toes, and shot him in the leg, and made crewmen fight to the death for experiencing love, and sailed the entire ship into a storm to murder-suicide his crew—I was still ready to accept all that moral ambiguity and give him a hug afterwards. Because of course, I figured that after Ed was brought out of that dark place and those suicidal urges, he would feel horrible remorse. How could he not?

I was looking forward to seeing him break down crying, convinced he was an irredeemable, unforgivable monster. (Which of course, would make it all the more touching when people inevitably did forgive him, and when he did redeem himself). Maybe Ed would even go too far with trying to atone, like in Mercy, one of my favorite post-s1 fics. Probably, I figured, Ed's quest for redemption would be one of the main themes in the second half of season 2.

So it was strange to watch e4, when Ed looked nothing but annoyed at everyone for chaining him up and banishing him, and then he went to hang out with his old friends like he'd done nothing wrong. When after the crew unanimously voted him out, Stede brought him back to the ship literally that same evening, and Ed saw no problem with that. Okay... maybe he's still processing?

Then e5 came, and that episode was about Ed's redemption. Yay! Except... Ed didn't seem to care? Other people made him wear the bag and the bell. He asked how long it'd take people to get over it, guessing "like a day." He gave an influencer-esque non-apology to the crew. He said "I took a man's leg" rather than calling Izzy by name. He literally doesn't remember the circumstances of pushing Lucius off the boat. He does ultimately give a real apology to Fang—for tormenting him years ago, rather than anything from his actual kraken era. I love e5 for the Izzy+Stede dynamic, but watching Ed be an unrepentant asshole here is painful. There is nothing about this that convinces me Ed wouldn't slide right back to being evil if Stede were to leave again.

And the thing is, it didn't have to be like this! We could have gotten Ed breaking down crying with guilt like in s1e6, and it would have made him much more sympathetic—not to mention the fact that Ed really is just an adorable cryer. Alternatively, we could have had some real deep diving about why Ed never apologizes (is he afraid of seeming weak?) or why he's so uncaring about others' pain (has he seen too many friends die over the years, to the point of going numb?)

By episode 6, it seems like most characters have moved on. Stede says something about Ed turning poison into positivity, which feels completely unearned. He pays for the party—but he'd previously tried to make the crew throw their cut of the loot into the ocean. He makes some attempts to best Ned and protect Stede, but Stede ends up saving the crew instead—from a pirate who only showed up in the first place because Ed was intentionally trying to piss him off. Ed is sad that Stede kills someone, and this would be a great time to again make Ed sympathetic! To have him talk about how he doesn't want that for Stede, because his own violence has weighed on him so deeply. But nope.

E6 does see Ed actually apologize to Izzy—and he's terrible at it. He's just like, "Sorry about your leg," makes no eye contact, and flees immediately afterwards. We do see some hints that this shitty apology isn't really indicative of Ed's true feelings, given how he has those flashbacks to the scenes of hurting Izzy seemingly haunting him; but it's very brief. It would be a great time to address Ed's horrific tendency towards conflict-aversion and avoiding awkward conversations in relationships—the same tendency that made s1 Ed never inform Izzy that the plan to kill Stede and the Revenge crew had changed. This would be another great opportunity to help us sympathize with Ed again—to have us see how it's not that he doesn't want to communicate these things, it's that these conversations are terribly stressful and anxiety-inducing for him. But nah, why would OFMD need to include those things for Ed?

E7 happens, and still nothing. If anything, there was a great opportunity for Ed to at least show himself to be a kind person to Stede—maybe nobly stepping in to save the day, even though he's annoyed that Stede's getting all this attention now. You know, like Stede did for him back in s1e5, when the situation was reversed. But nope, Ed runs off to be a fisherman, not having learned any of the earlier season's lessons about whims. He only stops being a fisherman because he's bad at it.

I was still hoping for something big in e8–some huge selfless, gesture that Ed would do to cover for all of his inability to do the little gestures. Ed is good at grand gestures! Swimming back to the ship after he left, then taking the Act of Grace in s1 was HUGE. Very selfless, very sweet! He could have done something like that for Izzy, Lucius, and the traumatized crew. Some kind of heroic gesture to help others more than himself. But nope. In some sense, Izzy dying is one of the greatest indications of Ed's wasted potential, because we narratively had a great opportunity for Ed to be able to save someone... but he didn't.

(Admittedly, Ed is not a complete dick here—he helps Izzy when he's limping, he says some genuinely apologetic stuff when Izzy's dying, and he finally gives Izzy his attention and care. But then after the funeral, he's still like "Well, that's that.")

It's so frustrating. It's not that I don't want to like Ed, or that I don't want to sympathize with him. I really, REALLY do! I don't even need Ed to successfully do anything to earn forgiveness! I'd take Ed trying and failing. I'd take him wanting to try, but being so convinced of his monstrousness that he never makes the attempt. But give me something. Anything other than the unexamined apathy that he has so much of the time.

The thing is, s2 lost the ability for Ed's mistreatment of people to be just another "of course he's violent, he's a pirate" quirk. They were pretty explicit about how abusive Ed was (Jim's comment in e1, the joke in e4 people assumed Ed had hit Stede) and how much he traumatized people (Lucius and the whole crew very clearly have PTSD in episodes 4 and 5). This is serious stuff, which he did to other main characters, which is going to make a lot of viewers look at him pretty harshly.

And that's manageable—Hannibal Lector managed to be most textbook-abusive asshole in the world, committing atrocities and generally being unrepentant left and right, and viewers STILL found him lovable and sympathetic. You can do that! But you need to:

a. make it clear that anyone with the relevant information calls them out for being awful, even multiple episodes later

b. make it clear that they care deeply and genuinely about their wronged loved ones

c. make them willing to actually make REAL sacrifices

I watched so many people start to dislike or outright hate Ed in season 2. It made me really sad. But I couldn't blame them for feeling that way. For all that Ed is supposedly one of the two protagonists in OFMD—a character whose mistakes should be the most understandable, whose mental state should be the most resonant—the show seemed to entirely drop the ball on writing him as such.

[sastiel-is-my-serotonin]

(this is a repost)

So you know how a lot of people just ignore or brush past Dean's abusive actions? I believe a good portion of people who do that are just taking what they are seeing at face value. The only context they use is what is directly in front of them.

For example, Dean tricks Sam into 'real' bacon despite knowing Sam doesn't want to eat that type of bacon.

That you can see as a sibling prank, is it messed up? Yes, but you can forgive it very quickly at face value. Siblings get under each other's skin all the time, that's their dynamic, Dean's just pranking his little brother. Right?

However, when you add in more context, Dean often judges Sam on what he eats. He often will reduce it down to rabbit food and acts very annoyed having to see it even if it doesn't affect him. It's seen as a big gesture when Dean gets Sam food he genuinely likes. Not a big deal on its own, right? Just another Dean quirk, he doesn't like healthy food.

Well, going back to that particular scene, it's established, Dean is pretty in charge of the food, it's why Sam doesn't trust the bacon at first and was proved right. In different episodes and scenes, it's implied Dean is the one who basically runs the kitchen. So he runs the kitchen and the groceries. Interesting.

Again, at face value that doesn't seem like a big deal. However, this is not the only thing Dean gets a big say on in Sam's life.

What is Sam in control of then? Not only for himself but the two of them?

Sam isn't in charge of driving, that's Dean's thing. Did Sam ever drive? Yes, but there were always specific circumstances that led to it. Especially if Sam was driving Baby.

"But Dean's the car guy, so that makes sense."  Okay, well, let's look at some more things Dean gets a say in.

Sam going out and who he contacts. Dean always knows, and if he doesn't, Sam is lectured about keeping secrets. "It's because of Ruby!" Is it? This didn't just occur after that, and it certainly didn't stop long after Ruby was gone.

Dean didn't make a big deal out of it before Ruby, it doesn't mean it wasn't a big deal though. Sam always shared that information beforehand, it was expected. And even years after Ruby was long gone, Sam's whereabouts had to be known at all times.

But let's say that's just Dean feeling betrayed and overprotective.

Well, what about Sam's autonomy and Dean getting the final say in it?

How many times did Dean bring Sam back to life without Sam's consent? Not to mention, he tricked Sam into permitting an angel to use his body as a vessel even when Sam was ready to die, it was Dean who was clinging onto him. Dean knew Sam would rather die than let an angel use him as a vessel. Yet, he still did it, and to fix his mistake, he had to let a demon into Sam's body. 

When Sam asked to die, it was decided to keep him alive because Dean wasn't ready to let go. When Dean asked to die, Sam respected his wishes. More than once. And Dean didn't forgive him for that. (When Sam didn't search for Dean when they had both agreed to quit messing with the balance of life and death. To quit going searching for each other when they've passed.)

Or what about forcefully making Sam detox all at once, and pushing on even though it was a very real possibility of Sam dying. Because Dean would rather his brother be pure and dead rather than tainted and alive.

Now, what does this have to do with my first example, of Dean tricking Sam into eating bacon?

It doesn't seem like a big deal until you realize just how much control Dean has over Sam. From Sam's literal life to his food choices and many things in between. Dean gets a say in it, and more often than less, Dean's say is the final say.

But a lot of these examples are excused because they focus on the context surrounding that season, that episode, that scene. However, all of Dean's actions add up and the more context you add to his behavior the more you start to notice this pattern.

Context matters and so does depth.

[cricket-reader]

Safe and Sound

Masterlist | A03 | Wattpad | Recommendations | Inbox | Taglist

Summary: Bucky finds you. Everything goes wrong so quickly (yet again). Can Bucky forgive himself for something he blames himself for?

Warnings: language, canon level violence, death, kidnapping, captive, torture, injuries, Bucky’s self-hatred/negative thoughts, fluff

Word Count: 1830

Prompt: "At least it can't get any worse." | Stairs | Concussion | Hammer

A/N: Day 16 of June of Doom by @juneofdoom

Part One

Bucky swears up and down that he’s losing his mind.

When he went to find you in the rubble and ruin of the small restaurant, you weren’t there. He practically tore the place apart looking for you before remembering the necklace he gave you. Anyone else would have deemed it controlling. And in any other circumstances, Bucky would have to agree. Giving your significant other a tracking necklace is a shitty and controlling thing to do. That is unless you were a POW for an extremist group hell bent on making your life suck.

And that is exactly what he is, unfortunately. So instead of ripping him a new one like most people would if the person they had only been dating for a few months decided to get them a fucking tracker, you were willing to hear him out. Right now, he thanks every god above you were willing to listen.

He doesn’t even want to know the lengths that Hydra will go to make you suffer for making the mistake of loving him. If he can just get you home safe, everything will be fine.

He hops on his motorcycle and drives to the spot your tracker is. Worries claw at his brain. What if they discarded the necklace? What if this is a set up? What if he doesn’t make it in time? He forces himself to push those thoughts to the back of his mind.

Worrying won’t save you. Worrying won’t bring you back. He can’t let his emotions get the better of him.

The man that had been delivering punches to your gut and slapping you around froze upon hearing a rumbling sound. Knife in hand, he frowns. “I guess this means we don’t get to finish what we’ve started. Bummer.”

He actually has the nerve to sound disappointed. He sets the knife down along with the other torture devices he had one of his goons bring—which to your horror includes a pair of pliers, a hammer, and many different types of sharp objects. You hear him yell at the men watching to prepare for the Winter Soldier.

You would have corrected him had it been any other circumstance. He is not the Winter Soldier. He is Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. A man worthy of much more respect than it seems they’re willing to give him.

You see your boyfriend stomp down the creaking stairs. He’s pissed. You definitely don’t envy the men surrounding you.

“Let them go, Warrenson.” Bucky’s voice calm and collected, not betraying any emotion. He hasn’t looked at you which you figure is probably a good thing. You don’t want him to lose his cool just because you’ve gotten a good beating.

“We will. As long as you come peacefully in return. Hydra wants their Soldier back.”

Bucky clenches his jaw. He knew that someday you’d be used as leverage. This is why he should never have agreed to go on a date with you. This is why he doesn’t deserve happiness or love. This is why you are better off without him ruining your life. He destroys everything he touches with his dark, infected soul. Nothing good comes from knowing Bucky Barnes.

“I’ll do it,” he mutters. The heart wrenching protest from you begs him to look your way. You sound destroyed and distraught. No, he can’t look at you. It will demolish any and all of his resolve—what’s left of it anyway.

“Bucky, no! Don’t do this, please! No! I’m not worth it, okay?”

His heart shatters like the most fragile glass or porcelain, his soul crushed with the weight of a thousand suns. How could you say that you aren’t worth it. He’d burn the world for you.

“Shut that bitch up!” a man orders. A sharp throbbing pain erupts at the back of your head. You cry out, and Bucky loses all of his resolve. No one fucking hurts his babydoll and gets away with it. No one.

Bodies dropped like flies in the blink of an eye. Now you have always known that Bucky is skilled, but… well, let’s just say you are surprised.

He rushes over to you and releases you from your restraints. He looks over your body, relief nearly palpable to see that you had no major visible injuries. He had seen the hammer and pliers along with a plethora of knives. He’s just glad he got here in time because if he didn’t… he doesn’t want to even think of what they could’ve done to you.

You saw the far off look in Bucky’s eyes. You knew he is probably coming up with some way to blame himself for all of this. Your hands reach to grab his face. His eyes refocus on you, feeling your gentle hands with their delicate touch. You smile at him, not paying any mind to the throbbing of your skull.

“I’m okay, Buck, it’s fine.”

He frowns. His brows furrow deeply. Nothing about this is fine. He’s sure that your ribs are coloured purple and he can hear a sight slurring in your voice.

“Baby? I need you to tell me if anything is hurting real bad. Did they hit your head real bad?”

“Hmm?” You think for a bit. Maybe they did, you’re not really sure anymore. “I think so?”

“How does your head feel?”

“Mmm… kinda like someone is takin’ a hammer to it. It hurts, Buck… I wanna go t’sleep.”

“No, no, no, stay awake for me, c’mon. Let’s get you outta here.”

He hauls you up onto unsteady feet. You kinda just wanna stay there, maybe take a quick little nap. That should be fine, right? But Bucky told you not to. You frown. This is a dilema.

You stumble your way up the stairs and say, “At least it can’t get any worse.”

He smiles, or at least tries to… it’s more like a grimace, at your attempt to brighten the situation.

Turns out you spoke too soon, however.

The stairs groan under you before both you and Bucky are plunging through the wood. You hear a high pitched scream. Then you realise it’s you making that god awful noise.

Bucky curses under his breath as the wood gives way to both your weight. He wraps his body around yours, taking the brunt of the fall. He can’t let you get hurt more.

The wind is knocked out of him as his back collided with the ground. A piece of wood stabs through his torso, and he grits his teeth as you come down on top of him.

“Baby?” His voice is breathy. You whimper, terrified out of your wits. “I’m so sorry, doll. Can… can you reach in my pocket? Grab my phone and dial… dial Sam.”

You reach down and accidentally hit the wood post that’s sticking out of him. His groan is so guttural, even in your haze, your brain panics. You try to look down, but Bucky can’t let that happen. You’re only going to panic more. “Keep your eyes on me, m’kay?”

You nod, instantly regretting it. “Babe?” Bucky questions, seeing you wince.

“’m fine,” you insist, lowering your hand, being more careful this time around.

You make contact with the brick that he calls his phone and pull up Sam’s number. You make a joke about not knowing how to work the old thing, but Bucky thinks you’re serious. He goes to grab the phone, but you indignantly pull it away from his grasp. “Was a joke, Barnes. I’m perfectly capable…”

You were gonna say more, but it is so much work to talk. Maybe you should have convinced Bucky to let you nap. Then you wouldn’t be on top of him in a hole under some stupid stairs.

“Bucky? What’s up? I thought you were on a date.”

“I’s me Sammy,” you giggle. Why are you giggling? Nothing makes sense anymore.

The man on the other end of the phone groans. “Please tell me he didn’t get you plastered. Did you try to out drink him? Cause I tried that once… that was not a fun morning.”

“No… we’re under the stairs, Sammy.”

“Under the stairs? What stairs? Why—“

“You ask too many questions,” you mumble, half of the sentence jumbling together. Black starts to creep into the corners of your vision. “Think I gonna take nap now.”

Sam furrows his brows, hearing Bucky yell at you to stay awake. “Sam! Listen to me, you need to come help we’re both injured—“

You gasp, “Bucky hurt?”

He can’t stop you from looking down. Your gasp is so loud he can barely hear Sam muttering to him over the phone.

“Doll, hand the phone to me,” he demands. Tears form in your pretty eyes, seeing the wood sticking out of your boyfriend.

“But.. you hurt.”

He sighs, “Yes, but I need the phone so someone can save us.”

You nod, tears dripping down your face. Your heart is beating like a hummingbird is in your chest. You press your hand against it, crying out in pain. Your head hurts so bad. So does your stomach and ribs. You just want to go to sleep.

You don’t remember exactly when Sam showed up. But he is here now with a full team of firefighters and medics. The firefighters extract you both, though it takes more work to get Bucky out.

The next thing you know, you’re waking up in a hospital. Sam somehow convinced the medical staff to let you and Bucky share a room, knowing that you both need each other.

When Bucky wakes up, he is panicking. His panic settles when he sees you safe and sound in bed. His gut twists seeing the ugly purple bruises on your face. This is all his fault. He should have never got himself involved with you. Your life was better without him in it. He ruined you like he ruins everything.

“Bucky?”

He focuses on your voice. Tears blurring your figure. “Yeah?” He doesn’t deserve to call you any pet names. He doesn’t deserve to call you his. He doesn’t deserve you.

“You can stop that negative self-thinking right now.” You glare at him.

“But—“

“No buts!” you interrupt. “I’m too selfish to let you leave me cause you’re scared you’re gonna hurt me. To be honest, I’ll be more hurt if you leave me than if someone were to kidnap me again. My abandonment issues can’t take much more, so if you–”

“You deserve better–“

“Don’t give me that bullshit. I want you god dammit! Why can’t you understand that I love you?”

His eyes grow wide at your outburst. And your words. That was the first time you said you loved him. He thinks he could get addicted.

“You… you love me?”

“Yes! I didn’t think you were that oblivious! I’m in love with you, James Buchanan Barnes.”

Tears form in his eyes. “I… I love you too…”

You smirk at him. “You better.”

Bucky Taglist: @harleycao

Story Taglist: @cjand10 @marvel-stories33 @casa-boiardi @drunkbirdbug