#but raya and namaari after the druun are gone

[synergysilhouette]

One of my biggest regrets about "Raya and the Last Dragon" was not having Namaari as the antagonist instead of the Druun

The Druun served as a metaphor for the conflict that evolves from mistrust, but I think letting Namaari be the main villain would've been better. Aside from learning more about Fang culture, we'd get more screentime to understand her and have a more believable redemption arc instead of her coming off as a selfish jerk sometimes, and a sympathetic patriot other times; she felt kinda inconsistent--plus her gaslighting Raya instead of apologizing for hurting her was awful for someone who was supposed be likeable. Imagine Raya going from "lemme get revenge on this world leader's daughter" to realizing that as a world leader herself (with Chief Benja out of the way for most of the film), she needed a more nuanced approach in order to guarentee that Kumandra would have peace during her and Namaari's generations and after they were gone. We'd actually get to understand Namaari a little more if we saw her more, and her redemption wouldn't feel so sudden.

She could've been Disney's version of Azula from "Avatar: The Last Airbender" (hey, at this point, you should lean into the comparisons than deny/ignore them).

(BTW, if you like my idea, make sure to check out my post on how I'd rewrite the film!)

[zipzin]

Morning Mist (Also on Ao3)

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Raya and the Last Dragon Rating: Teen Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Namaari & Virana Characters: Namaari, Virana Additional Tags: Mentions of Miscarriage/Stillborn, implied PTSD, the complicated relationship of mothers and daughters Summary: Virana and Namaari: before, during, and after the events of the movie.

It was right before Virana would retire in the evening. When she’d set down the paperwork and shuffle to dinner as she massaged her temples to try and lessen the always present headache. Her meal would be alone tonight, or as alone as she could be presently.

A sharp slice of pain echoed around her abdomen and Virana felt like she would cry. “No,” she whimpered as she clenched her stomach. “No! It’s too soon.”

The next hours were a daze, she hollered for the guards and they sent for the healer, she screamed in pain and agony and despair. 

Number three would be no more lucky than one or two. Would she need to make it all the way to six?

It was moments after twilight when, finally, a bloody bundle was placed in her arms, and Virani stared at the impossibly tiny head.

“She’s alive.” The healer said.

Virana’s eyes widened, her grip growing tighter until she realized what she was doing. “She’s not crying.” Virana choked out.

The healer hesitated, looking down at their feet as if they had the power to instantly disappear, they’d be gone before Virana could say another word. “She won’t last the night. You should say goodbye.”

The first had been in more blood than Virana had even seen on a battlefield, only weeks after she learned that she was carrying. The second, dead for a week in her womb, the grief worse after seeing the gray flesh. And now this, an impossibly tiny person whose chest barely rose or fell and with eyes tightly closed. Virana let tears trace down her face and dismissed the healers.

“I will take care of her for the night.”

Virana took the wet rag and slowly began to clean off the blood and fluid that coated the child. Her skin was blue-ish, but not nearly as ghastly as her second.

“You will be Namaari.” Virana whispered over the baby. They had told her in the last pregnancies to not consider names until they survived the first week, and not decide until the first year. It hadn’t helped the searing in her chest when they didn’t breathe. “And you are strong. You are a woman of Fang.”

The only thing that answered was the faint up and down of a chest.

“The healers say you will not survive to see morning,” Virana whispered, “But women are strong in our family, and we’ve never listened to what people say is possible. You can do it, Namaari.” And Virana placed the cleaned babe against her bare chest as she stared out the east window at the hovering of the moon and lowered herself into the rocking chair Narith had made the first time they found out she was pregnant.

It had only been removed from storage a week ago. 

“Let me tell you of Fang, of your people. You will one day lead them, and you need to know their history.” She said it like a command and as a healer came over to help the baby breastfeed, Virana continued, “We are a proud people and very strong. We do what’s best for everyone, from every child to every elder.” She stopped as Namaari latched on. The pulling on her chest was strange and she just watched in awe.

“That’s good.” Virana muttered and looked up at the healer. They stared at her with pity in their eyes and Virana looked back down at Namaari. Her eyes were still closed and Virana continued.

She spent the next hours telling every story she could think of. Of all the people that Namaari would never meet, her grandparents, gone in the past year, her uncle, dead from an old, festering wound, and her father, who never left the battlefield.

Through it all, Namaari stood huddled against Virana’s chest, her eyes screwed shut. She told her about the dragons, about the Druun, about the serlots she would ride.

She told her of the moon and the stars and the sun. The mountains and the rivers. The trees and the earth.

Virana did not notice as various healers came in and out of the room, checking on both of them. She just watched Namaari’s chest beat up and down, up and down.

The first rays of dawn filtered the sky into a majestic purple and Virana finally found her feet and stumbled to the window. She described the first stirrings of the city, the lightening of the sky, the fog rolling in from the mountains.

“Look,” She couldn’t help herself, “The morning mist rises up from the river.” She looked down, gripped with a fear that this was the moment and instead found two eyes blinking up at her. Tears poured down Virana’s face, as she dotted a kiss onto Namaari’s forehead.

“Morning mist.” She whispered, “You are so strong.”

Sophea found her pacing outside the healer’s room, Namaari’s cries had quieted down, but they still hadn’t invited her in. Virana eased the clenching of her fists on seeing the council member.

“Chief,” Sophea bowed, “What news is there of the girl?”

Virana felt her fists return. “The Crown Princess.” She corrected while Sophea gave a genteel nod. They both knew she, and the rest of the council, would need to be corrected again. “And no news yet.”

Sophea nods, “It is what, the fifth time this month?”

As if Virana needed reminding of Namaari’s ill health. “The sixth,” She couldn’t help but correct.

Sophea sighed, “Virana, child,” and Virana stiffened at the endearment. So what if Sophea was a contemporary of her father? She was now her Chief. “Have you truly given no other thought to the candidates? They’re all good men.”

Of course, Virana wanted to cry hysterically, of course that’s what is being brought up as she worries for the life of her daughter. Marriage candidates. “I looked through them,” She answered neutrally, “None seem suitable.”

Sophea sighed, “We will find you a suitor.”

“I don’t need a suitor.”

“Virana, you need an heir. Fang needs an heir. Namaari spends more time in the infirmary than out and she’s three years old. Fang needs someone with a constitution.”

Virana stepped into Sophea’s face. “How dare you,” She hissed out.

“Your weakness will leave Fang in shambles,” Sophea said simply, “Everyone can see it.” She strode out of the hallway before Virana could move, awfully nimble for one so old. Blood leaks from Virana’s fists.

The door opened behind her, “Chief, she’s sleeping now,” A healer said, “The fever has temporarily gone down but it hasn’t broken yet. You may come in if you wish.”

Virana nodded and strode past him, stopping to stare at her daughter. Sophea isn’t wrong, Namaari does spend more time around the healers than the other children, and on the blackest nights it felt like she knew them better than she knew her mother. Virana stroked some of Namaari’s wet hair off the stickiness of her brow, and brushed a kiss to it.

But Namaari is strong, she will get through it.

Just like she did that first night.

“Chief!” General Attitya ran into the council chamber, “Chief, Princess Namaari is okay!”

Virana stood, “Why wouldn’t she be okay?”

Attitya took a moment to catch her breath, “She was kidnapped.”

A startled gasp goes through the room. “Where is she?” Virana demanded.

“She’s in the bath hall getting cleaned up.”

Virana elbowed herself out of the room and raced to the bath hall. Two women are cleaning Namaari’s hands and shoulders, a steady stream of red tinted water flowing down her daughter’s back and Virana felt her heart stop.

“Mama!” Namaari called, a grin on her face.

“Morning Mist,” Virana breathed out and raced forward. The women step aside, one handing Virana her rag.

It’s blood. Her daughter is coated in blood.

“You’re alright,” She breathed out, her heart still racing.

“Of course,” Namaari grinned, her s’s coming out more like ths. “I’m a warrior of Fang, grr!” She growled, sounding like a baby serlot.

“Yes, my girl.” The blood is gone from her hair and Virana pours another bucket over her to rid it from her skin.

“I knew it was a bad man, an evil Druun, so I stabbed him. Did I do good Mama?”

“You did great,” Virana pressed a kiss to Namaari’s head as she took a large towel and wrapped Namaari up. It practically devoured her. “My little fang warrior, scourge of Kumandra!”

“Yes,” Namaari smiled, her eyelids growing heavy. Virana picked her up and began to walk back to the Royal Quarters, two guards flanking her.

“You did very well, my strong girl.” Virana whispered. Namaari’s head lolled against her shoulder, a couple soft breaths coming out as she fell asleep. 

Virana’s heart hasn’t stopped thundering.

Later it all comes out. Namaari was separated from her school group by a man from Talon who had orders to kidnap her for ransom. Namaari, nabbing a dagger hanging from his belt, him, not thinking there is any danger from the five year old that could pass as newly three summers. Namaari, waiting until they were in the market and stabbing him in the thigh as high as she could reach.

His yells alerting the guards and Namaari scampering back to class, blood down her arms and over her face.

Later, Virana will oversee the execution in a ritual that hasn’t been done in a generation, caring little for what anyone thinks. There, there are only whispers about the bravery of the Crown Princess.

Virana shook Namaari, “Namaari! NAMARRI!”

Namaari blinked, staring up at her dazed eyes. “What happened?”

“What happened?!” Virana felt her voice get hysterical, “You fainted! What’s wrong, did you have enough water today? Enough food?” She raised a hand to Namaari’s forehead, “A fever?” It had been three years since the last bad one.

Namaari batted the hand away, “I’m fine.” Her stomach growled in response.

Virana gestured to the table, too aware of the meager offerings. It was enough for just the two of them, more than enough when many in Fang were starving, but closer to a beggar’s portion compared to last year.

“You need to eat Namaari.” Virana said.

Namaari huffed, poking at the noodles on her plate, “I did.”

“How much lunch did you have?”

“Enough.”

“Namaari,” Virana said, feeling a vein grow in her forehead. Not this song and dance again. “I’m pleased you care about our people and that you want to provide for them, but you can’t do it to the point of fainting.”

“Why not!” Namaari demanded, “We have enough, I can skip a meal here or there for Jorani!”

Virana pursed her lips, “No.” She commanded.

“No?!”

“Not while you are a child. No one should skip meals. And the kids all have enough breakfast and lunch.”

“But some of them don’t get enough dinner.” Namaari cried.

Virana rubbed her head, “I know. But Namaari, we can’t be the leaders that Fang needs if we are focused on our stomach.”

“I wasn’t focused on-”

“You fainted Namaari.” Virana said, “Imagine if that happened during a council meeting? During sparring practice? What if there was real danger?”

Namaari sank into her seat.

“You are a child,” Virana continued, “Which means you are still growing and need fuel for that. For now and your future health. And as a leader, all of Fang needs you at your best. How can you make good decisions if you’re moments away from sleep? How can-”

“I understand.” Namaari interrupted and made a show of taking a bite of her food.

“You understand?”

Namaari smacked her lips, “I understand, Chief.”

Virana nodded and they ate the rest of the meal in silence. Namaari making a point of finishing everything on her plate before leaving with a bow and a roll of her eyes.

Virana let her go without complaint, her daughter might not understand now, but it was for the best.

Virana clutched the scroll in her hand, fingers tracing the words, over and over again.

Chief Benja had a lot of nerve to send her this.

She thought about ignoring all the rules of war and killing the courier on sight.

But Fang could not afford another war. Not now.

Virana leaned against her desk, her eyes shut.

Narith gasping for breath.

Running to the Heart camp.

Throwing their weapons down and still being refused.

No water. No medicine.

Cradling his head in her hands.

His last painful breath.

The taste of smoke never quite left her mouth.

The notice crumpled in her hands.

Chief Benja wants Kumandra? It’s hard not to laugh. Her people are struggling not to starve and he wants to host a feast. She looked over to the training ground at the military practicing formations, and in one section, children sparring. Namaari pinned a boy down in three easy motions, and once the instructor called time helped him up.

She hadn’t even known she was pregnant when Narith died.

A feast, Virana thought.

A tear fell from her eye. Her people needed it.

Later, as Namaari sat in bed on the eve of their departure, Virana will deliver her a task. She will tell her of Heart’s princess, a girl her age, and how she may know where the dragon gem is.

“It is a sacred object to all of Kumandra,” Virana said, “But Heart hoards it for themselves. They have prosperity while we suffer trying to provide for our people.”

“Fang always survives.”

“That’s right, my morning mist, we always find a way. But our strength wanes without nourishment. I want you to get close to her, you will be the only two young girls there, and if you find the Dragon Gem, shoot up a signal for us. Soldiers will ensure you are safe.”

“Yes, Chief.”

Later, the world breaks, and Virana stared at her daughter's shoulders, suddenly stiff, and she wondered, was Namaari the only one who could have found the gem?

No, she convinced herself, everyone was looking for it.

Water is the only repellent, and the river beside Fang sat there tauntingly. It took the engineers a day to describe how they will need to build a canal to encircle the entire city. It is a monumental task, one that Virana knew will take at least a year to finish the initial stage, and could drag on for a decade depending on the problems they run into. Their shard of the dragon gem is put onto her staff and she left it with the Generals as they protect the workers.

“I can hold it,” Namaari said one day, her back in perfect military rest.

“Hold?”

“The staff,” Namaari said, “I know I’d get in the way of the builders if I tried to work on the canal, but I can fend off any Druun with it.”

Virana sat for a long moment, thinking of her little girl, still inches smaller than the rest of the children, standing and protecting Fang.

“Please,” Namaari whined.

“Okay,” Virana relented, it made too much sense to allow another able body to build the canal, “You may take a shift. But only during the day.”

“Yes, mother.”

Namaari turned to leave, “And Namaari,” Virana added, “I’m proud of you for putting Fang first. I know this isn’t how we envisioned anything going, but you’ve done well.”

Namaari bowed her head and left.

The harvests were good, and it seemed like a mockery when no one could leave. Finally, the granary was full, and Virana stared at the Dragon Gem on her staff. She looked over the training grounds and watched as Namaari took down another.

Her girl is catching up.

Namaari bounded over to her instructor with single minded focus, watching the next pair spar. Virana can pick up their faults even from up here, they are only children, and as the boy wrestled the spear out of the girl’s hands, the instructor halted them. They turn to the class and Virana felt a flush of pride as Namaari is the one to step forward and point out the weak stance of the boy and the inferior grip of the girl.

“How was your day?”

Namaari grunted.

“Morning mist, please, full sentences.”

“It was good,” Namaari sighed, “We did training and helped with the canal today.”

“And your friends?”

“They’re good.”

Virana bit back a sigh of her own as she stared at her daughter. Lately, it was impossible to get Namaari to talk about anything. All she seemed to comment on was what they did during school time, and at the most what new move she learned.

When Namaari wasn’t at school or meal times, Virana would find her in the library, going over scroll after scroll about the Druun. Virana would try to pull her away, telling her to play with her friends, but Namaari would always demur, telling her things like “It’ll just be a minute.” or “I was curious about this.” And Virana would leave her be.

Better she be in the library than a gambling hall.

Narith never let her live that one down.

Virana nodded, “I hear you’re doing quite well in your studies. There’s nothing but praise from your instructors.”

Namaari didn’t even smile, just nodded, “I’m glad they find me satisfactory.”

Virana’s frown deepened.

“The scroll!” Namaari burst into the Council chamber, “It was stolen!”

Virana barely has a second to be thankful that it is only her and General Atitaya there at the moment to see her daughter behaving like a madwoman. “What scroll?”

“The dragon scroll.” Namaari said. “I must go after it.”

“Why?” Virana demanded.

Namaari looked down, clenching her fists and took several moments to gather her words. “There’s only one person who would have stolen it. Raya.”

The lost princess of Heart. Virana felt her eyebrows raise at her daughter’s insistence. Raya was believed to have turned to stone with the rest of Heart on the day the Druun broke forth. Namaari looked up at her, eyes watery and Virana nodded. “Very well, and take a scout group.”

“Yes, Chief.” Namaari strode out of the room.

“Chief,” General Atitaya said, “Who cares about some scroll?”

Virana did not betray that she felt the same way, “It is an artifact of Fang.” She doesn’t say that it is the first time in ages that she saw something, something other than an obsession with duty, in Namaari. And if it means that she’s going on a foolish mission for a scroll, well, so be it.

Namaari wasn’t stupid, she would be alright.

Virana gripped her staff a little harder.

The door slammed open and Virana reached for the sword that wasn’t there. That hadn’t been there for many long years. She took in a deep breath and stared at her daughter waving a piece of paper in her hand.

“I need the Dragon Gem.” Namaari demanded.

“Why?”

Namaari stopped, leaning over Virana’s desk and let out a gasping breath, “Our shard, I need it.”

“But what for?” Virana said, eying her daughter. She was still breathing hard, having run from somewhere. Her back was hunched over, not in her usual stick straight position that was demanded around the Chief.

Namaari slid the paper to Virana and she read it multiple times.

“You’re telling me, Raya, Princess of Heart, wants to unite the stone? And what gift?”

Namaari looked up, cheek’s red, “That doesn’t matter, but I know she’s genuine.”

“Namaari,” Virana felt a headache coming, “Heart, for all their bluster of Kumandra, don’t want unity. Do you remember when you were a girl? They didn’t help us when we were starving. They didn’t help yo- '' Virana cut herself off.

“Sisu is back, and with them.”

Virana collapsed back in her chair, “Are you sure?”

“Mother-”

“I am your Chief.”

Namaari straightened, “I saw her with my own eyes. She was spectacular. Certainly you remember my account.”

It had been extraordinary news, and Virana had been forced to believe it wasn’t Namaari chasing tall tales when every soldier gave the same account. But still, it was miraculous. A dragon? Now? After all this time?

And with Heart?

“The world sees us as the aggressors. They blame us for the Gem breaking, and if we don’t unite them, with Sisu, we will always be the aggressors.”

“But Mother-”

“I am your Chief!”

“Yes,” Namaari bowed her head, “and this could be my chance to fix it.”

Virana sighed, her eyes darting around her study. “Yes,” She said, “We can.” She stood and walked over to an oft forgotten corner. There sat her crossbow. It hadn’t been used in years, not since the execution. Virana had always kept it in working condition. She grabbed it and took the shard from her staff and handed them both to Namaari.

“Chief?”

“You will go and bring the shard, and demand they hand over their pieces. If they have them all as they say, then this will be our chance.”

“But-”

“You think they will give Fang any credit?” Virana scoffed. “We will still be cast aside, but if you fix the gem and free the dragons, then the world will be indebted to Fang. And they cannot demand anything from us.”

Namaari chewed her lip and then nodded. “Yes, Chief. I will do as my country commands.”

“Very good, go, and be safe.” Virana said. “I will wait for you in the throne room tomorrow to celebrate our victory.”

Virana blinks, trying to wipe away water from her face as she looks up at the sky, now visible in the throne room. One of her arms wouldn’t move. She looks down and watches in disbelief as stone melts away.

Namaari leaving. The canal drying. Seconds of chaos and Druun and then. This.

She shivers and her lungs exhale forcefully as she begins to cough violently. Her legs crack and she falls to her knees, grasping at her chest, the rain and dust trailing down her face, as her staff clattered beside her..

“Narith?” She croaks out.

Her eyes cleared and she is wrenched away as she sees her surroundings. The palace is in ruins. Whatever had happened with Namaari and the dragon gem had gone terribly wrong.

Except she was no longer stone.

She looks around, and sees the water returned, and people walking around with a mixture of wonder and shock on their eyes. And then out of a massive crater, several figures climb up.

“Namaari!” She shouts and breaks into a run. She embraces her daughter, and checks her over.

“You’re alright.” Namaari lets out a shocked gasp.

“I’m okay,” she promises.

“Look.” A young woman, Raya, her mind supplies, point to the skies. Virana follows her finger and lets out a gasp. Thousands of dragons were dancing, and Virana looks back at her daughter.

“You did it.”

Namaari doesn’t have a grin on her face, just a grave expression as she corrects, “They did it.”

“Today, we mark the beginning of Kumandra!” Chief Benja stood at the round table smiling at the gathered leaders. “We are no longer separate tribes but a united people!”

There was a smattering of applause and Virana refrained as she sized up the other leaders. Chief Benja might be all smiles but he wasn’t a fool. Kumandra would not be that easy. He sat down and the others immediately began clamoring over the table.

“We need help rebuilding!”

“What of Spine’s army! They could overpower any of us easily!”

“Fang needs to pay!”

“I’m not trading with the Talon crooks!”

“Enough!” Virana said, hands curled into fists. “You yell like animals! The dragons are back and have shown us that we need unity to keep the Druun away. We do not have the luxury of separation.”

“Of course you’d say that,” Talon’s Chief, Dang Hai mocked, “Sitting pretty while you and your daughter broke the gem.”

“Excuse me?” Virana said.

“We were there.” The new Tail Chief, Malai said. “She did it.” She pointed her finger at Namaari who stiffened at Virana’s side. Namaari said nothing, looking down at her hands.

“It is pointless for us to look to the past,” Chief Benja said, “And I recall all of you trying to get your hands on the Gem.”

“But-”

“Enough,” His voice was as sharp as his sword, “We must look to the future, not the past. We could spend centuries picking out who hurt who the most.”

There were grumblings, and Virana thought she could make out mumbles of “Fang” but Chief Benja continued on, “The first thing needed is to repair the city centers. All have suffered damage during these times of hardship, so tell us, what do you need? Let us freely supply our own surpluses, so we can fix things quickly.”

Virana sat back as the other Chiefs began to fill out their list of demands and studied her daughter. Namaari hadn’t looked up once.

“And Chief,” General Atitaya paused at the end of her report.

“Yes?” Virana frowned.

“There’s repeated calls from the other tribes, for uh, Princess Namaari.”

“For Namaari?”

General Atitaya shifted on her feet, staring down, “They want her banished.”

“Banished!?” Virana stood, one hand reaching for her staff.

“Not Fang, of course not Fang.” General Atitaya said and with that Virana sat, “Tail, Spine, and Talon.”

“Not Heart?”

“Chief Benja refuses to consider it.” Virana nodded and motioned for Atitaya to continue, “They will likely make a formal push at the next meeting.”

“I see.” She dismissed Atitaya with a flick of her hand and stared blankly at her desk. These fools. They would condemn a child for all of their mistakes. She’d volunteer to be banished if it wouldn’t leave Namaari alone as Chief and surrounded by these vultures. She rubbed her temples to try to lessen her worsening headache.

Chief Benji cleared his throat, “That was everything on the agenda for today. Does anyone have an urgent matter to bring up?”

“Yes,” The Dang Hai said, “This never would have happened if not for Fang-”

“This is not a committee about blame!” Chief Benji roared.

The Chief of Talon didn’t stop, “Fang single handedly caused all this damage, and since they can’t pay for it with gold, they need to pay for it in blood.”

“We will not have war!”

Dang Hai nodded at Chief Benji, “No,” and Virana felt her body shiver, “War is unreasonable. Princess Namaari should be banished.”

“How dare you!” Virana stood before she realized the words were out of her mouth, “Don’t act like you weren’t just as responsible-”

“Stand up for your spineless daughter,” He roared, “But she broke the stone! And let’s not forget she killed Sisu!”

Virana banged her fists into the table, “Do not speak those words again or I will have your throat!”

“See!” Malai said, “Fang can’t be trusted! Already threatening murder for a reasonable request.”

“Reasonable!” Virana screeched.

“SILENCE!” Chief Benji banged the butt of his sword against the table several times. He let out a heavy sigh, “Kumandra will not banish its children. I will hear no more of this!”

“But-”

“NO MORE!” He roared. “Everyone is dismissed.”

Virana stared down the other Chiefs as they left, her fingers creating red crescents on her palms. The room cleared, Benji giving her a tired nod and Virana stared down at her daughter, shoulders hunched and head down.

“Namaari,” Virana said softly.

Namaari stood quickly, “It’s time for dinner.” 

She marched away from the table.

Virana stared at the full plate in front of her. It wasn’t that Heart’s food was bad, it was just that in the week they’d been away from Fang she really missed home. The burning pepper of home, her bed, a week away from these vultures, anything to give her peace while these talks went nowhere.

Namaari sat across from her, running her own spoon through her food, head bowed. She hadn’t said a word since they’d left the council chamber. The calls for Namaari’s banishment were just the worst of the day, many had demanded that Fang pay. Exactly what, Virana would still like to know and she had a permanent headache all week.

Apparently finding a good solution to the Druun was a crime.

“Mother,” Namaari’s voice was resolute as she drew herself up into perfect posture.

“What is it?” Virana said.

“I will accept my banishment.”

Virana frowned, “Excuse me?”

Namaari’s face broke its stoicism, “Banishment. For me. Away from Kumandra.”

“Why on earth would you do that?” Virana would laugh if Namaari wasn’t so serious.

“Breaking the gem. Killing Sisu.”

“Banishing you is madness.”

“No,” Namaari banged her fist against the table and Virana stared at the shaking tableware in shock. “I did those things! I broke the gem, I broke the world. I cost Raya six years! Chief Benji his entire village! I killed a dragon!” A tear dripped down Namaari’s face, followed by an avalanche. “This is my burden, let me bear it. This will stop them demanding the destruction of Fang.”

Losing Namaari would be the annihilation of Fang.

Virana turned around and clenched her fists. “Namaari,” She gathered herself and then strode to the other side of the table, “My morning mist, you were a child.”

“I was a princess of Fang.”

“A child.” Virana corrected. “Who yes, was given a great deal more responsibility than most, but this. This is too much. If anyone is to be banished it would be me.”

“You didn’t kill Sisu!”

“I very well did. I ordered you to take the gem pieces by force. I asked you to steal the gem.” Virana brushed the tears off her daughter’s face, “This is my burden. Not yours.”

“But-”

“Enough!” Virana felt her patience growing thin, “You will not be banished! You will never be banished! I won’t allow it!”

Her words echoed in the chamber and Namaari ducked her head, burying it into the folds of Virana’s dress like she had when she was younger, “Yes, mother.”

“Good, now eat, we cannot waste food.”

They settled into their seats and did not speak another word.

Virana couldn’t sleep that night and she would blame the humidity in the morning. These traitors don’t deserve a whisper of the truth. Namaari’s face wouldn’t leave her brain, the tears dripping down, the absolute determination to accept a punishment, the resignation, the-.

Virana turned over again. 

The fact that she blamed herself for her mother’s decisions.

Everyone was culpable in war. Virana knew that like she knew the stiffness in her hip during cold spells. But, sending a child into the battlefield? Virana slid out of bed and parted the shutters so she could see the moon. It cast a white glow, washing out Virana’s skin so she looked like a ghost.

She’d been a fool to think that with a single night’s vigilance, she conquered any failure with Namaari. After all, she had failed the other two completely.

Now, her strong girl nodded at criticism with a casual acceptance that pierced Virana’s soul. Yell at me, she wanted to tell each stranger who sneered at her daughter, for these are the sins of the mother.

Her soul raged, a serlot stalking its prey, and she wondered if she should stomp Kumandra into the ground to remind these imbeciles exactly why they feared Fang.

For how can Namaari hang her head so low when she has done so much?

She is one of the saviors of Kumandra, no matter how much she tries to defer credit.

She argued against the actions that Virana pushed her into to get the gems for Fang. And she did them anyway. And has cast no blame on her mother.

And Virana knows, that’s the biggest failure of them all.

“Chief Virana,” Chief Benja smiled at her as she joined him on the porch. It provided a nice overlook to the training grounds, where a small group had gathered. Among them were their daughters who were testing weapons together. “It’s good to see you.”

“Hmm.”

“I see our daughters have taken to the spirit of Kumandra.”

Virana bristled, “How can you say that when they speak of banishment?”

Something flashed in his eyes, but he wisely held his tongue.

Virana gripped the handrail, her knuckles white as they watched Namaari disarm Raya. Raya pounced onto Namaari, throwing her off balance and they began to wrestle on the ground.

“I know they want to banish my daughter as some sort of cruel game against Fang. Nevermind that she was a child when her largest infraction happened.”

“I questioned the others, but they all,” He closed his eyes, “It doesn’t matter.”

“Tell me.”

“They all claim that it is the will of the masses, that they heard it from their people, and they are just trying to follow a united people.”

Virana spat onto the ground.

“Virana, please, I would never allow it. It’s absurd to punish Namaari when they all stood next to her.” He rolled his eyes. “And I’m sure your networks have told you the same as mine, the people have no grand desire towards Namaari. They want peace.

“I cannot promise Fang will escape with no reparations, but your daughter will not be one of them.”

“Good.” Virana said.

He nodded and they watched as Raya and Namaari rolled around in the dirt, Raya eventually claiming victory as she pinned Namaari below her. She helped Namaari up and they strode back over to the weapons rack.

“Would you like some tea?” He asked.

Virana stared at him, momentarily at a loss, “That would be nice.”

“Excellent, follow me.”

“Morning mist,” Virana called after the tea was done. Chief Benja proved he was agreeable company, and they bid their goodbyes when their daughters trooped in still dusty and sweaty. “Walk with me.”

“I should clean up.”

“To just get dirty again?”

It would soon be the hottest part of the day, when people would be in the river or pools that dotted Heart or inside, deep into one of the stone rooms where the sun didn’t touch. Namaari followed with the closest thing to a wry grin she’d had these days, and Virana led them to the main square, where vendors were packing up for a break of their own, and towards the stone temple that had once been the home of the dragon gem.

Now, it was a place of worship of the dragons, though none were around today. In fact, it was empty, except for a stone pedestal that held a Sisu ornament.

“This was mine,” Namaari stared at it, “I gave it to Raya on that day.”

Virana smiled at her, “I know.”

“What?”

“Namaari, that is the Fang pendant of the Crown Princess, I wore it when I was a girl.”

“Really?”

“Did you just think it was something I had gotten from some merchant?” Virana laughed.

“No,” Namaari’s eyes turned pink, “I, well, I, I thought it was nice!”

Virana smiled, “Oh morning mist, you certainly did more with that pendant than any Fang princess thought possible. You helped unite Kumandra.”

“I broke it first.” Namaari said, “I used it to get Raya’s trust and break the world.”

Virana faced her daughter, “You saved us. Me, Fang, Raya, she told me the story. You, my morning mist, put together the pieces. Even Sisu sings your praises now.”

“But-”

 “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Namaari frowned.

“Morning mist, for even the fact that you are asking that question,” Virana sighed, “I pushed you, to do what I thought would be best, and for too long I pushed you in a way that would be best for Fang, and not you.

“And as we’ve seen, my decisions weren’t even the best for Fang.”

“Mom-”

Virana placed a hand on Namaari’s shoulder to silence her daughter, “Namaari, I had you steal the dragon gem, multiple times, and they all fell to disaster. Could either of us have predicted it? No, but it was my decision, and you fought against it and I ignored your concerns.” Virana sighed, “You make a great leader, and I’m so proud of you. And I’m so very sorry.”

“Mom.” Namaari rounded the pedestal and flung her arms around Virana’s neck. They held each other for several minutes, Virana stroking circles on Namaari’s shaking back.

“Namaari, I should have listened to you and I’m so sorry that I put you through that. That I placed this tremendous weight onto your shoulders and never questioned whether it was right.”

“I’m alright, I am.”

“You are willing to accept exile,” Virana admonished and felt a tear trace down her face. A twin traced down Namaari’s. “They blame you for my actions, and,” She let out a strangled cry, one she hasn’t heard herself utter since the onset of Namaari’s birth, “You let them. You, my morning mist, my beautiful daughter.”

“I made the mistakes, you didn’t make me, you didn’t fire the crossbow bolt into Sisu’s chest!”

“No, but I let you believe that was the only way forward, that you were required by your oath to Fang,” Virana sighed, “I’m proud of you my girl, and I look forward to your counsel in the years to come.”

Namaari buried her face into Virana’s shoulder and Virana held up her daughter, now more muscle than bone, and whispered, “You have been strong, so very strong, and I am so proud to have you as my daughter. I’m so very proud. I love you Namaari. You have done so very well.”

Virana held her for as long as her arms would allow, and Virana can think, through puffy eyes and dried cheeks, that it will be well.

A/N: When I began writing this, I wanted to create a series of fics throughout fandoms about complicated mother daughter relationships. Then I realized that all my favorite characters have those really messy relationships with their mothers.

Guess sometimes fiction tells you too much about yourself.

I still hope to add to that series (eventually), and explore the different sides to that, and including ones that cannot be fixed. Even this one, I think falls into the trap that seems to have exploded into popular media since I started writing it (I’m very slow at getting fics done), which is there’s one conversation and the story’s over. There’s a ton more to explore what to do after the apology, the promise (because people rarely are suddenly good in a way they’ve struggled their whole life).

Thank you so much for reading this (and hopefully enjoying it), it was really interesting to write and I hope I captured the idea with justice.

[faithfulwarrior-og]

I’m gonna say it: the only reason Disney didn’t make Raya and the Last Dragon a musical was because if they were to keep the two in character, Raya and/or Namaari would sing at least one yearning song about the other. it would be so gay. And you know how Disney be..

[princessrayaofheart]

I love how they didn’t need words to express what they are feeling and what they want to say to each other in this scene

Raya sees how she has turned back, which can only mean that Namaari has put the dragon gem pieces together. Raya turns to face her.

Namaari can’t believe that she has turned back from being stone. Namaari is thrilled and happy that she has successfully pieced the gem pieces together. Namaari looks at Raya, wanting to see whether she returned as well. Raya did. The Heart princess is not stone, and she’s looking at her.

Namaari did it. They all did it. It worked. The Druun is gone, and now they aren’t stone.

Raya is overwhelmed and happy. She cries tears of joy, squeezing Namaari's hand to convey her gratitude to the Fang princess, a thank you for making Raya’s decision to take the first step and giving her the gem worth it, a thank you for how Namaari put the dragon gem pieces together.

It’s also a sign that they truly aren’t enemies anymore

Namaari is touched by Raya’s gratitude. There’s this feeling that Namaari is also happy seeing how happy Raya looked. They both share smiles of happiness. Namaari is glad that after Raya has given her the gem piece (followed by Boun, Noi, and Tong), she has pieced back the dragon gem together. Namaari is glad that she made the right choice.

They have all saved Kumandra from the Druun

Even I think my words aren’t still enough to describe perfectly what they are feeling. I love this scene so much

[thedragonnerd]

Rayaari headcanon - mothering moments with Virana learning to accept Raya

(inspired by this lovely anon)

Virana admittedly struggles to like Raya at first, the girl that has stolen Namaari's heart. Raya is the Princess of a land that historically has not been on the friendliest terms with Fang. Furthermore, she can remember the showdown in Heart all those years ago, when the Gem broke, and she remains suspicious that the young girl who was so impacted by that moment could now be so forgiving - of Namaari, of herself, and of Fang.

Raya also struggles to like Virana at first, although she refuses to say as much out loud. Namaari has never once placed blame of That Night on anyone except for herself, but Raya is mature enough now to recognize that a twelve year old was unlikely to be the mastermind behind the Gem theft, as well as smart enough to know exactly who was the likely instigator. She sees Virana for who she is, or so she thinks - a cold and calculating leader, who will stop at nothing to defend her people, everyone else be damned.

But Namaari...Namaari loves her mother with all her heart. Raya can see it in the way she smiles at Virana whenever the Chief says something encouraging, in the way she still seeks her mother out for an embrace sometimes after a long day, in a thousand small ways that remind her how Virana is all Namaari has left for family, just like her and Ba only have each other.

However, Raya is missing one thing...Namaari also loves her, although she has yet to say those exact three words. Virana can see it in the way she lights up whenever Raya enters the room, in the way she tries to make everything perfect for Raya's visits to Fang each time, in the way she can't stop talking to Raya or about Raya, and the thousands of words Virana has to hear about The Amazing Raya.

The first few visits where they all spend time together, Namaari is clearly a bundle of nerves. Her shoulders are tense, her gaze flicking back and forth between Raya and Virana, as if expecting things to implode at any moment even as they feast on congee.

Raya and Virana come to the same realization at the same time: Namaari wants them to get along, because they are the two most important people in her life. And so, a silent truce is born, built upon knowing glances and sometimes narrowed eyes. Namaari doesn't notice; she's too busy enjoying the fact that Virana and Raya remain perfectly civil through all their discussions.

This tense but "civil" relationship could have gone on indefinitely, neither being willing to evolve it into something more. But then, Namaari falls ill.

It starts off fairly innocuously, with Namaari simply feeling more fatigued and losing her appetite. But by the next morning, Raya can't wake her, and when she presses the back of her hand to Namaari's forehead, it is burning up.

At first, Virana and Raya sit in silence by her bed, whilst the doctors flit in and out of the room, prescribing different medications and treatments. As night falls, and Namaari's condition remains unchanged, they settle in for the long haul, unwilling to leave her.

Some time after midnight, Virana extends a peace offering, by way of words. 'She was so small as a child,' she says quietly, eyes still fixed on her daughter. 'And so often sickly, not helped by the food shortage at the time. She's been strong for so long, I had almost forgotten what this feels like.'

Raya can't help but lean slightly towards the older woman, sensing the pain in her words. It's a shared pain, but she tries to alleviate the moment by adding 'I bet she was also a troublemaker as a child too though, right?'

Virana laughs shakily, and agrees. 'Although no more so than she is now, when you and she go off on adventures together.' Raya can't help but smile at this thought too, and they spend the rest of the night quietly reminiscing about some of the different ways Namaari has managed to get herself into trouble.

When Namaari awakens three days later, it is to her mother and her girlfriend both leaning over the bed and smiling at her.

After that incident, it's impossible to go back to the icy relationship they had before. Raya catches herself exchanging silent gestures with Virana sometimes, but now it is in full view of Namaari, and usually along the lines of 'can you believe the ridiculousness of what your daughter is saying?' or 'She's your girlfriend - make sure she takes a break and stops working today'.

Namaari always narrows her eyes at this, unsure how thrilled she is at her Ma and Raya ganging up on her now.

Sometimes, although Raya would never admit it, she feels a small spark of jealousy when she sees Namaari and Virana together. She loves her Ba deeply, but there are days where the loss of her mother sends a spark of sadness through her. She was so young when her Ma died that she has barely any memories, but she has a sense of longing over the idea that she could receive advice or a loving hug from a mother figure.

Fang hosts a large celebration a year after the defeat of the Druun, as a way to bring all the lands together and also to offer a hand of diplomatic friendship to those who are still unsure of their intentions. Raya will be representing Heart for the evening, but since she's being staying in Fang for the last fortnight, she is preparing for the evening in Namaari's room.

Namaari is busy getting her own formal outfit on, when Raya for some reason unbeknownst even to herself begins to have a meltdown in front of the mirror over her hair. She wants to look every inch the important Princess tonight, both for her Ba and Namaari, but also to intimidate all the political dignitaries who still doubt her ability to help lead her own country. Yet, it is the one day where her hair refuses to cooperate, and she's embarrassed to feel hot tears of frustration leak down her cheeks.

'Are you alright?' Virana's voice interrupts her internal spiral. Raya tries to hide her face quickly, ducking her head and mumbling quietly about being absolutely fine.

Then there are soft hands cupping her cheeks, and thumbs wiping away her tears with the practiced strokes of a mother used to comforting her own daughter.

'Come on, let's get this sorted,' Virana's voice is no-nonsense, but her movements are gentle as she pulls the comb out of Raya's hand and begins to brush her hair.

She hums as she works, expertly twisting Raya's hair into a beautiful style and pinning it place so it will last the full evening, including through dancing. When she's done, she places both hands on Raya's shoulders, and smiles at her reflection in the mirror. 'Beautiful,' she says, just as Namaari returns from her own preparations, and echoes her mother's thoughts.

Several years later, Raya asks Virana to recreate that same hairstyle - this time, for her wedding to Namaari.

[animalgirl225]

I've got a longer Raya x Namaari piece in the works, I'm working on setting up an Ao3 account to give me the space to flesh it out properly. In the meantime, please enjoy this fic of Namaari protecting Raya from a sparring practice gone wrong.

The ringing of swordplay echoed throughout the practice arena in the gardens of Fang's palace. Practicing swordplay with an opponent was a new feeling to Raya. For 6 years, she'd only had rocks and plants to practice against. Now, however, she found herself outside Fang's palace alongside warriors from all tribes, engaged in a friendly sparring session. The tribes had gathered for the first anniversary of the Druun's defeat, and as the location where the fateful day occurred, Fang was hosting. It was still bizarre to Raya to see the different tribes engaged in any kind of combat that wasn't hostile. Throughout the clearing, the colors of the tribes intermingled as warriors sparred with partners from a tribe other than their own. In the ring next to Raya, Namaari faced off against a lithe young Talon warrior. Onlookers of all ages and tribes watched the activities with great interest from the edge of the field.

Raya was currently practicing with a newer Fang warrior named Dhakar. He was a large man, overly cocky and reliant on his size more than technique. Raya had fought the type before, and the matchup was even. Both had lost 2 bouts to the other and now engaged in the final bout for best of 5.

Raya scored a touch on Dhakar's hip and quickly danced away before he could retaliate. Dhakar pressed harder, his sword flying around Raya but never connecting with anything but her sword in return. Raya deflected another blow and stepped back, only to feel her foot falter on a slightly larger tuft of grass. Thrown off balance, she suddenly found herself on defense as Dhakar siezed the opening. He knocked her sword out of her hands with a hard slash to the hilt, and she felt her feet swept out from under her in classic Fang technique.

Raya fell onto her back with a heavy "oof." She stayed there for a beat, eyes closed, frustrated at the loss. Her left elbow throbbed; she'd twisted it awkwardly when she landed. But then, she sensed something was wrong and opened her eyes. She had expected to see Dhakar standing with his blade leveled at her, ready to claim his point. What she saw sent a wave of fear through her body. Dhakar stood over her, his sword held behind his head, eyes glinting with the ferocious gleam of a man lost in the rush of the fight. He started to bring his sword down, and Raya closed her eyes again, bracing for a heavy blow.

But it didn't come. Instead, she felt someone leap over her, and the loud ring of clashing blades reverberated through the clearing. She peeked her eyes open. Namaari stood over her, sword lifted to Dhakar's collarbone, Dhakar's blade lying on the ground several feet away. Namaari's sparring partner still stood in the next ring in the stance she had been in before their fight was interrupted, looking surprised to suddenly find her opponent gone.

"Have you lost your mind, Dhakar?" Namaari asked, her voice rough with barely controlled fury. From her position on the ground, Raya saw her legs shaking, though her blade was steady. "What on earth just happened? Explain yourself!"

"P-please, your grace. I was only pressing an advantage I gained when Princess Raya stumbled in a hole," the man said, quailing under her scrutiny.

"Which is fair swordplay and why I didn't stop you before," Namaari said, her voice as steely as the sword in her hands. "However, your critical mistake came when you attempted to finish your point after Princess Raya had already lost and was lying weaponless on the ground. You forget, Dhakar, that this is only practice. They may be dulled, but these swords are real and can cause serious injury when misused. Had I allowed you to finish your swing, you could have broken Princess Raya's neck."

Namaari's voice had grown colder than the glacial rivers in Spine. "In practice, we NEVER finish points against a helpless opponent. Touches and scores in an active session are expected, but attempting a killing blow on someone with no defense, and during a friendly event? Unacceptable. You are dismissed, Dhakar. I will be speaking with General Attitaya and Chief Virana about this, make no mistake.

"Yes, Princess." Dhakar whispered. Head bowed, he walked out of the clearing to muttering and scornful glances from the onlookers. Raya watched him go, still processing what had just happened. "That's all for today, everyone." Namaari called out to the rest of the warriors as the midday hour was announced by the palace gong. "It's time for midday meal anyways." Fang warriors saluted their princess before joining the rest of the people leaving the field.

Namaari crouched down beside Raya, who had sat up and was rubbing her elbow. "Are you alright?" She asked quietly. "Fine," Raya replied. Aside from her elbow, the worst blow of the incident was to her pride. "I normally could have moved, but I wasn't expecting him to do that."

"Of course you weren't. The bout was only practice. You shouldn't have been expecting anything like that." Namaari said bitterly. She took Raya's arm to inspect her elbow. "His lack of control is very concerning. We can't have impulsive warriors in our army." Despite the anger Raya could feel rolling off her, Namaari's touch was tender as she felt Raya's injury. "It's fine, really," Raya protested, but then gasped involuntarily as Namaari pressed a bad spot. "Hm. We'll let a healer be the judge of that. I don't like that it's already bruising, and you've got a scratch that needs cleaning."

Raya gazed at the other girl, wondering where this soft side had come from. She was so used to seeing Namaari as a hardened warrior that she hadn't really given much thought to her gentler tendencies. The two had been friends for several months now, but they were learning more about each other with every meeting. Namaari straightened up and offered her hand. With only a slight hesitation, Raya allowed herself to be pulled up. Their hands stayed together a beat longer than necessary before Namaari cleared her throat. "Come on, I'll show you to the healing wing."

Bemused, Raya walked beside Namaari as she led her up towards the palace. "Seeing him standing over you like that scared me," Namaari admitted quietly. "He would have seriously hurt you if I hadn't been close enough to stop him." Raya was quiet, thinking back to a familiar scene exactly one year ago. She wondered if Dhakar had reminded Namaari of Raya standing over her, ready to strike in the exact same way. She looked sideways at Namaari, but even if it did, she sensed no animosity from her.

"Well, it's a good thing you were. But you were in the middle of your own session at the same time. How did you react so fast? Were you watching me?" Raya asked mischievously. "Well, you know, you're Heart's princess. I have to make sure nothing happens to you while you're here," Namaari said, tripping a little over her words. "Admit it, dep la, you just can't keep your eyes off me." Raya laughed. Namaari flushed. "Nah, I'm just trying to make sure a skinny troublemaker like yourself doesn't wind up a smear on Fang's floor. You'd stain the white tile," she retorted, giving Raya a friendly shove towards a large door labeled 'Healing Wing.'

"Now get in there and do what they say. I can't have my favorite sparring partner making her injuries worse and delaying our chance to fight again." Namaari said. Wait, favorite sparring partner? Raya thought. She turned to press Namaari about her comment, but she was already disappearing around the corner. "Point for the Fang princess," she muttered to herself. "Alright, let's get this over with," she said, and pushed open the door.

[neworleansspecial]

There is pain after the fact.

Raya can’t talk to her father about it, because he was frozen much longer than her, and all her friends lived through much of the same that she did. None of them have nightmares, or flashbacks, or this inability to carry on without feeling like the world is going to end at any given opportunity.

She stays in the river most of the day, where she knows she’s safe from the Druuns. They’re gone now, everyone says, and the dragons are here to protect them. Sisu wouldn’t let anything happen to them, least of all Raya, but she still lives in fear. She remembers too heavily the face of her Ba in stone. The faces of so many. She didn’t get the chance to process any of it at the time, but now it seems to overcome her. She isn’t grieving, she doesn’t think, but she is suffering. Something in her has broken, something she cannot fix. 

Namaari comes and sits beside her, feet dangling in the river instead of placing her entire body in its swift current, and does not speak. At least, she does not right away. Instead they remain still in their silence until finally, Namaari places a hand on Raya’s shoulder and she flinches.

“The war is over,” Namaari says. “It’s all over. No more Druuns, no more five nations. We are safe now. We are at peace.”

“I don’t feel peaceful.”

Slowly, Namaari lowers herself into the river beside Raya. “Don’t worry. I don’t either.”

In the shallows, they both sit with their knees drawn to their chests and their eyes on the dragons frolicking about the river. There are always some near what used to be Heart. Sisu is playing with her siblings today, as well as some others, none paying any mind to the two small humans lingering at the bank of the river. 

“Sometimes I feel so heavy it’s as if I’m still made of stone.”

“I sometimes feel as if I might be floating away,” Namaari counters. “But you anchor me. Let me lift you in return.”

She takes Raya’s hand and holds it tight. Raya leans her head against Namaari’s shoulder and wonders if she can share this burden with someone who will help her carry it. If anyone will do such a thing, it is Namaari. 

[moon-spirit-yue]

Firmly believe the gang did this at least once:

Raya, sighing in Talon right after taking in Noi and the ongis: we are broke you guys. I mean actually broke. Not a piece of jade to our names

Boun, looking around the boat and frowning: I don’t have any ingredients for food left either. We’re doomed

Sisu, shivering in fear: does that mean we have to go into town?

Raya, grimacing and nodding: afraid so

Boun: well how are we going to get anything? We’ve got no money

Raya: *watches a couple and their young kids get free stuff because some vendor felt bad for them*

Raya, smirking: I have a plan!

Boun: I don’t think I like that face-

*a few minutes later*

Raya, fake crying: it’s just so hard you know?! My wife and I were struggling long before the Druun, and our two beautiful children have gone through so much at such a young age

Sisu, nodding and patting Raya on the back: I know my love. But there’s nothing our love can’t survive!

Noi: *cooing cutely in Raya’s arms*

Boun, getting his acting on: it’ll be okay ma! Even though we haven’t eaten for three days, we’ll get through this!

Raya, fake sobbing and hugging Boun with one arm: oh my strong boy! I love you so much!

Talon vendor, absolutely buying everything she’s saying: that’s so sad! You know what, here just take this stuff! Free of charge!

Sisu: your kindness moves us, my friend! We will forever be in your debt

*back at the boat with a bunch of new stuff*

Sisu, in awe: as much as I hated lying, it was effective!

Raya, nodding: I know right! Man, you guys are a great fake family!

Sisu, laughing: I always knew I’d make an excellent wife!

*somewhere in Fang*

Namaari, frowning: well now I just feel really upset for no apparent reason-

[thatsgay-writes]

Raya x Fang!Reader

I know what you're thinking. Two riders, a dystopian world, a land gone to waste. How did this world get so broken? Well, that all began 500 years ago. Kumandra. This is what we used to be. When our land was whole, and we lived harmoniously alongside… dragons. Magical creatures who brought us water and rain and peace. It was paradise. But then, the Druun came. A mindless plague that spread like wildfire, multiplying as they consumed life and turned everyone they touched into stone. The dragons fought for us the best they could, but it wasn’t enough. That’s when the Mighty Sisudatu, the last dragon, concentrated all her magic into a gem and… blasted the Druun away. Everyone that was turned to stone came back. Except the dragons. All that was left of Sisu was her gem. It should have been this big inspirational moment, where humanity united over her sacrifice. But instead, people being people, they all fought to possess the last remnant of dragon magic. Borders were drawn, Kumandra divided. We all became enemies, and the gem had to be hidden. But that’s not how the world broke. That didn’t truly happen until 500 years later, when we came into the story.

You were the youngest daughter of Chief Virana and Namaari's younger sister by a year, while Namaari was being brought up to be the next Chief of Fang, you were being brought up to be the next general of Fang's army. Growing up your mother played clear favorites between you and Namaari and you're pretty sure it's because Namaari was going to be Chief. You weren't very social growing up and you only really talked to Namaari and Atitaya, who was training to be your second in command.

Today, you and your tribe were heading to Heart after being invited by Chief Benja. You rode your serlot next to Namaari's and made small talk with her. You noticed that Namaari kept sending your mother worried glance and you kept trying ask what was wrong but she wouldn't tell you. "We'll walk from here." Your mother announced as you got closer to Heart and you all slid off your serlots and met up with the other tribes, waiting for Chief Benja to arrive. You didn't have to wait long for Chief Benja to walk across the bridge with his daughter. You're eyes widened at the sight of her and felt your face heat up and your heart beat fast when the two of you made eye contact. Is this what Namaari feels like when she talks about Atitaya? You wondered as you ignore the other tribes laughing at whatever Chief Benja had said about becoming Kumandra again.

You watched as Heart's princess walked down the steps of the bridge and asked if anyone was hungry. A random guy from spine raised his hand in excitement. The leader of spine sent him a look causing the man to fold into himself. You and Namaari both shared a look before quietly laughing at what had just happened. Namaari looked up at your mother and waited for permission. "Go ahead, it's alright." Your mother says and allows Namaari to walk up and greet the other princess. You attempt to follow your sister but your mother holds you back. You send your mother a questioning look as she shakes her head at you and you hang your head in sadness as you watch Heart's princess and Namaari head into Heart.

---

You don't join Namaari or Raya until your mother finally releases you from her side. You speed walk towards Namaari but stop when you feel something roll into your foot. "Aww..." You mumble as you pick up the small pill bug armadillo pug, and pet it on it's shell. "Tuk Tuk?" You hear and the small animal in your hand turns towards the person calling his name. You blush when your eyes connect with Heart's princess and you awkwardly hold the animal out to her. "I, um, here." You say and duck your head down. "It seems like Tuk Tuk likes you." The princess says as she tries to take Tuk Tuk from you but he turns to hold on to your shirt instead. "Uhh, yeah, I guess." You laugh out nervously as you tuck your hair behind your ear with the hand that wasn't holding Tuk Tuk. "Would you like to join us?" The princess asks as she motions towards where your sister was sitting. "Sure... I'm Y/n by the way." The princess sends you a wide smile and introduces herself. "Raya."

---

You were back with your mother again when the firework went off. You wanted to go with Raya and Namaari when Raya wanted to show something to the both of you but Namaari told you to stay put. You stared at the firework in confusion before feeling your mother start to pull you in a certain direction. "Mom what's going on?" You ask as you look back only to see Chief Benja looking at your mother's retreating form in shock and disappointment.

---

You follow your mother as she rushes into the room holding the dragon gem with the other tribes. You were confused as to what was going on but understood as soon as you stepped foot into the room. Your mother didn't accept Heart's invitation out of good faith, she did it purely out of greed. When Namaari ran up to you and your mother, you ignored her hand reaching for yours and let go of your mother's hand, not that she noticed. Namaari gave you a questioning look and you just returned one of disgust. How could she do something like this? You knew everyone wanted the dragon gem but it was safe in Heart, why couldn't they just accept that?

"Listen to me! We have a choice. We can tear each other apart, or we can come together and build a better world. It's not too late. I still believe we can be Kumandra again." Chief Benja says as he puts his sword away and you hope that everyone would agree. But instead, someone shoots an arrow at the Chief and it gets lodged in his thigh. "Ba!" You hear Raya yell as all the tribes rush towards the gem. You watch in shock as everyone fights for the gem before ultimately dropping and breaking it.

As the earth starts to shake and water dries up, a large statue that stood behind where the dragon gem was kept fell. It was silent for a few tense seconds, everyone confused to what was going on. Chief Benja and Raya pushed through the group to get to the gem. "No... No..." Chief Benja mumbled when all the sudden a purple and black fog looking ball rose from the fallen statue and started screeching. "Druun..." You say in shock as you see what had almost destroyed the world 500 years ago.

The druun instantly darts forwards towards people but back tracks when Chief Benja holds out a piece of the dragon gem towards the creature. "There's still magic in them! Get the pieces!" People yell and everyone is suddenly in a frenzy trying to get to the gem once again. A guard from Fang gets a large piece and instantly hands it off to your mother. Virana takes the piece of the dragon gem and grabs Namaari's hand before running off. "Someone get y/n!" She yells as she runs, not noticing how everyone was already out of the room. You go to run yourself but stop when you hear someone still yelling. "Ba! Come on we have to go!"

You turn around to see Raya trying to help her dad away from the Druun. You make a split second decision and run up to the two before throwing Chief Benja's other arm around your shoulder. It's a slow walk down the mountain and out of Heart. You do try and look to see if there was anyone from Fang that could help but all people cared about was saving themselves.

You are halfway across the bridge when Chief Benja falls to his knees out of exhaustion and pain. "Ba, get up! Come on! Please we have to keep moving!" Raya begs as the both of you try and help the chief stand again. "We need to go!" You join in as you attempt to pull Chief Benja up, getting more and more scared as the druun get closer. "Raya, you have to listen. You are the guardian of the dragon gem." Chief Benja starts and you already don't like where the conversation is heading. "Ba, why are you saying this?" "There's still light in this. There's still hope." Chief Benja pulls out his piece of the dragon stone and hands it to Raya. "No! We can make it together. You're okay." Raya cries into his chest and you look away. "Raya, don't give up on them... I love you dewdrop." Chief Benja says as he gives Raya a kiss on the forehead before throwing her over the side of the bridge and into the water. "No!"

You look at the Chief in shock and he just returns it with a sad smile. "I never wanted children to be caught up in something like this." He says with a frown and holds his hands out to you. You walk closer to him and he pulls you into a comforting hug, you hadn't been keeping a calm façade well. "I'm so sorry, I had no idea, if I-" You try to apologize as you pull away from the hug. CHief Benja just shakes his head. "Keep an eye on her for me okay?" You nod your head and you feel him put his hands under your arm pits before throwing you over the side of the bridge and into the water.

---

As Namaari ran out of heart, struggling to keep up with her mother, she kept checking over her shoulder wondering where you were. "Where's y/n? Where's y/n!?" She yells and feels a sense of relief as she catches sight of you halfway across the bridge but that relief suddenly washes away as she noticed the man you were helping had collapsed and that you stuck by his side. Namaari had to face forwards as she was running since she almost tripped but turned around again only to see druun blocking the way to where you had once stood and her heart dropped. If it wasn't for her mothers tight grip on her hand dragging her along, Namaari probably would have froze in her spot. You were gone... and it was all her fault.

NEXT

[free-falling-grenade]

PLEASE more of Rayaari analysis. SCREW TUMBLR'S 10 IMAGE LIMIT. Ruining the vibes >:(((( PART 6 LESGO

OK. ITS HERE, ANON. I somehow managed to squeeze 10 pics. (Damn you tumblr & your damn media limit) I didn't wait 3 weeks to do this part aha. But Part 6 LESGO.

Part one. Part two. Part three. Part four. Part five.

Exhibit P:

P stands for please kill me coz this scene always make me tear up.

Here we have Namaari’s look of devastation as Raya turned into stone and Boun just offered his piece to her. She looks completely torn and anguished as she glances back at the Heart princess’ stone figure. Boun joins soon after, leaving even more dread and the reality of the situation finally catching up on Namaari.

She seems to be really conflicted because she doesn’t understand. She doesn’t understand why Raya decided to sacrifice her life like that, now everyone was following along, and she just doesn’t get why it has to be her. Is it because of the severe desperation that their leader is gone so they ought to follow? Or they’d all just rather turn into stone than be infested with Druuns and ruled by Fang. They had nothing left to lose anyway. She’s unsure of the intentions but I have a feeling her heart knows why. Why Raya had chosen her. Coz this was her last chance.

Exhibit Q:

Which leads me to this scene, that had me screaming coz to quote myself “she better fuckin not runaway” I aggressively said to my screen the first time I watched it. 

Here we have Namaari glance at the exit that made its way visible as the world literally collapses around her.

Okay, the first time I saw this scene, I got mad. But after the next few times, I noticed it was pure instinct for her to run. The fight or flight response triggered. To leave with all the gems, away from danger as the Druuns get closer and the power of the gem fading. I’d like to believe and give her the benefit of the doubt that she momentarily forgot about the others. But, as she is climbing the steps, realization dawns on her.

No, she didn’t take a break coz she was tired, as some would say. Namaari is all muscle and athleticism, a bunch of rocks won’t stop her from sprinting over it like its nothing especially if her life depended on it. But the weight of the reality sets in perfectly, as she turns to the bitter truth. As she looks back to the people who shouldn’t have sacrificed their lives but did. We have the movie cut right at the close up of Raya’s stoned figure, (Disney editor we know this was intentional, you damn cowards.)

It’s like Raya is gravity pulling her back, a big part of her physically stops her from running away, the part that yearns for the Heart princess. A part that doesn’t want to disappoint her again. Somehow, she knows she won’t ever be okay or continue living if she betrays and misuses her trust this last time.

Let’s pause at her expression.

This is basically her desperately weighing her options. The stone figures set as a reminder of what she’s about to leave, if her decision of running away is actually valid this time. Will there be a point of no return? Should she go back to her people and try to help the rest of them? Or should she risk everything and put her trust and Raya’s trust especially, on the unconfirmed belief that fixing the gem will actually work? That a binturi like her can actually fix what she had help break in the first place. Her heart only lurched painfully at the idea of hope.

And then, we have the look. When she stands up, I’d like to think this is her mind coming into conclusion with her decision. Her last few heaves of breath before the scene change of her hastily putting the gem back together.

Y’all this is quite a long time to be staring at your kinda dead lover in stone realizing you’ve known nothing but betray her all your life and this is your chance to actually redeem yourself, type of vibes. Right?

Jokes aside, the way her face pinches together tightly, eyebrows furrowing, eyes narrowing. Each heave and puff of breath is her exhaling her fears, as she probably intensely stares at Raya’s stone figure, replaying the scene in her mind as she sacrificed herself turning into stone before her eyes. The way Raya placed her last fragile trust on her, should she choose to fix it or break it after all these years, is totally in her hands. The symbolism is so strong, I might cry.

Exhibit R:

R is for REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE coz omg this scene

Her sighs. The way her face scrunches up.

Let's pause at her intense vulnerable stares:

And that LAST look before the Druuns completely take her soul:

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Ok. This scene is just wow when slowed down. Let’s talk about it.

To sum it up in one, this is what I think Namaari’s last thoughts were:

“Idk why you trusted me but thank you. I’ll be joining you now. Hopefully wherever we are, I can make up for what I’ve done, and we can start over”

Who’s crying in the club with me? No one? Ok, that’s fine.

But to further elaborate, this scene is so important because this is the time we see Namaari’s most genuine feelings for Raya. No one, no actual human life form is present around her. It’s just her and the end of Kumandra as she knows it. But she spares her last few precious seconds on gazing at Raya’s stone figure as if she were still there. She probably relived their whole past in her mind, flashes of their meeting, the betrayal and years of tracking her playing through her head. How they’ve got to where they are right now, she wouldn’t have ever imagined risking her own life like this. 

But I feel like, Namaari is so tired. Tired of following rules, tired of being afraid of her own decisions and tired of hurting her. So, she’s a little glad, even if Raya weren’t there to see it, that this is her actually trying to start and mend things the right way. This is her finally doing the right thing, not just for Kumandra but for herself. There’s still fear present in her eyes in that scene. You can see it. The years of uncertainty, despair and regret washing over her in that last few seconds. I feel like she knows its far from redemption, but she tried. After years, this is the best she can do, it’s all she can do.

So as she takes her last breath, her face scrunching up and expression resolute, she makes sure Raya is the last thing she sees, as a reminder of who it is that started the change within her. To leave it imprinted in the back of her mind and soul wherever she may be in the afterlife.

-×-

Can you believe the fact that they are each others last looks before the Druuns takes them?

Neither can I.

Cue the song: “I dont want to watch the world end with someone else by Clinton Kane”

[sapphic-yearning-lesbian]

Comfort*able * (RATLD-October Prompts)

Raya admitting she wants to be comfortable with her feelings for Namaari.

Warnings: Brief mention of nudity.

Timeline: Resuming from where the movie ended (Like a few hours after)

A03

(1st) In Raya's perpective 

I watched as Namaari walked into the room, as our eyes connecting, as a massive smile erupted onto my face, Maari mimicking the gesture. 

Our eyes staying fixated on each other as she approached me.

Waiting for her arrival, I took the time to study the softness of her face. 

Over the six years I accidentally ran into her; I had never noticed the tenderness of her smile. Or the way her chocolate eyes sparkled like stars. I also noticed a difference within me; my heart beating so fast, I feared it would pop out of my chest.

I've always known I felt something different for Namaari, a feeling I could never name: Making it was easier to ignore it and listen to the feelings that had names, such as anger and frustration. But now that the druune were gone...those feelings had also vanished, replaced by the feeling I couldn't quite name.

The feeling that makes your hands sweat, your cheeks flush, your voice break, and erupts fireworks in your abdomen.

All those sensations were always there, yet this was the first time I acknowledged them and let them magnificate within me.

"Raya," Namaari snickered as she stopped in front of me.

I pressed my lips together before chuckling, "Princes Undercut."

I watched as the joy left her face, "Thank you for trusting me...even when I gave you every reason not to."

"Trusting you with the gem was easier than you think..." I admitted rolling my eyes, watching eyebrows go up as curiosity overtook her eyes. I said too much. She wasn't supposed to know that.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

 I bit my bottom lip, trying to calm my nerves. "I used to claim you broke the world, but that's not the truth. The gem shattering was a consequence resulting from our division as lands." 

"I don't understand."

"You didn't break the world, but you did break my heart..." I whispered as I looked down at the floor. "I wasn't comfortable saying that before," I grunted. "I don't even know what that means for us, or me! I just know that's how I felt!"

"Raya?" Namaari questioned with such tenderness, "Do you still feel that way?"

I stayed frozen, trying to piece together precisely how I felt, yet to no avail. So I explained what I did know, "When I gave you that gem a few hours ago, I also gave you my heart. When you fixed the broken gem, you also fixed what you broke within me...That's all I'm certain of right now."

"Can you look at me?" 

My gaze left the floor and met Namaari's brown eyes, noticing the tears pooling in her eyes. "I want to feel comfortable about how I feel about you, but I'm scared," I admitted. 

Namaari smiled at me, and she shook her head to the sides, "I'm scared too because it feels like I don't deserve this."

I reached my hands out, intertwining our hands together, rubbing my thumbs along the top of her hands. "Everyone deserves to have something that makes them happy!" She narrowed her eyes at me, so I huffed. "I want you to grow comfortable with the fact that I want to explore whatever these feelings are with you...If you'd like to, that is!" Namaari glared relaxed as she nodded yes.

"I'll like that!"

"Time to get comfortable!" I squeaked.

A grin appearing on Namaari's lips "how comfortable per se? Like naked comfortable."

I scrunched my nose at her. "All in time."

---

I am officially going AWOL for the next few days; midterms are due on Sunday and I’m freaking out as I have 5 classes and work...

[raointean]

RatLD Prompt 2

Some time during her travels, Raya gets pregnant. Maybe it was a boyfriend who broke her heart (and contributed to her trust issues), maybe it was a one night stand, maybe she was captured, who knows?

Anyway, she has a son and, because she’s soooo good with kids, she names him Nhan (Vietnamese name meaning “person”).

One day, when Nhan is about 1 1/2 to 2ish, he wanders off while Raya is otherwise occupied. Raya realizes that he’s gone after about a minute of quiet and runs off to find him.

She sees him and then almost immediately afterwards, sees a druun bearing down on him. She gets the gem out and runs as fast as she can, but she’s just a second too late. Her son is gone.

She stays there and mourns for days but eventually she has to move on.

Not much changes during the movie. She doesn’t mention Nhan because the pain is still too near to her heart and she refuses to trust anyone enough to help her through it.

Even though she tries to compartmentalize and shove the pain away, Nhan still influences almost every decision she makes. She takes on Noi because she reminds Raya so much of her own child. She’s still not good with kids, but she loves them to death.

She ends up actually trusting Tong somewhat because she knows what it’s like to lose a child and to be alone. She doesn’t tell Tong about Nhan, but he has some vague suspicions.

At the end of the movie, as soon as she realizes people have been de-stoned (bad wording, I know but...), she goes into a flat out run towards where Nhan was frozen. Tuk-tuk figures out where she’s trying to go and rolls up beside her. She hops on and they roll as fast as possible.

In the meantime, her new friends are trying to figure out what’s come over her. At first they think that she’s going to see her Ba until Namaari points out that she’s going in the wrong direction.

Namaari then, tentatively brings up a rumor she had heard a few years back; that the Heart Chief was with child. She had dismissed it at the time because she hadn’t seen any evidence. Tong agrees that that would explain a lot.

After half an hour’s hard roll, Raya finally reaches the area where it all went down. She gets off of Tuk-tuk and calls for Nhan. She runs around calling him until finally, she hears a child crying.

(Of course he’s crying! The last thing he remembers is his mother’s terrified face and then getting consumed by a druun. The next thing he knows, he’s all alone.)

Raya runs to him as fast as physically possible and scoops him into her arms. She reassures him that he’s alright and that she’s not going anywhere.

After a few minutes, he cries himself to sleep. Raya, now finally, mostly, out of raging mama bear mode, thinks about her next move. She makes a sling out of her cloak and gets back on Tuk-tuk. They head toward the bridge at a somewhat-less-than-breakneck speed.

When they get there, no one’s on the bridge. Raya panics and runs toward the palace. She bursts in and frantically asks the nearest person if they’ve seen Chief Benja. The person tries to calm her down first (probably because she’s obviously in the midst of a panic attack) but that doesn’t help so they just tell her that he’s in the kitchen. (He cooks when he’s nervous, fight me).

Raya tears off to the kitchen and Nhan senses her anxiety and starts crying, forcing her to take a moment to calm him down. She gets to the kitchen and walks in the door.

Benja is cooking up a storm and doesn’t notice her right away. Nhan definitely notices the food though. He starts making happy little sounds which alerts Benja to their presence. He spins around, drops his spoon, and embraces the both of them.

Raya’s exhaustion finally hits her. She’s been going at breakneck speed all day, running on nothing but adrenaline and it’s finally hitting her. She starts shaking, and then crying. Benja does his best to comfort her but Nhan needs more immediate attention.

He doesn’t understand what’s going on. All he knows is that his mother is crying and this old guy is hugging both of them and he’s crying, so Nhan decides that he should be crying too.

Raya tries to comfort him but she’s too much of a mess to do much so Benja steps in. He may not know specifics, but he definitely knows that this is his grandchild.

He gently pries him from Raya’s arms and starts talking to him. He introduces himself and tells horrible jokes until eventually, Nhan calms down. Benja then moves on to the next kid (Raya will always be his little girl).

He holds her through her tears and, when she’s sufficiently calmed, he tries to distract her by asking her about the child. He asks his name, how old he is, what was his first word, etc. And eventually Raya stops crying altogether and tells him how they all came back.

Over the next weeks and months, they relearn how to be a family. Benja teaches Raya parenting tricks and is the best grandba to ever live. He also tells the worst jokes in history. Raya learns how to trust again and introduces Benja to her friends.

He’s a little surprised by Namaari and doesn’t really understand the rest of them, but he’s glad his daughter has a good group of friends. Namaari comes to visit more than might be considered “normal” but she says it’s just to visit Nhan. It’s not just to visit Nhan.

[anzcty]

So, I have never published a fanfiction before (I've written quite a few throughout my life but,,,, I don't even wanna talk about it) and my english is not the best because it's not my mother tongue but I wrote a Rayaari Oneshot in one sitting today and wanted to post it on here because I literally have nothing else to do. Sorry for grammar mistakes!

It's really angsty and sad though and I don't want to hurt anyone but writing this certainly hurt me, oh well.

⚠️ Trigger Warning: major injuries, death

(Raya's POV)

What if Raya didn't hold back at a certain point during her fight with Namaari in the Fang palace? What if anger took over her completely, causing her to make a mistake she'll forever regret deeply within her soul (and her heart).

She was blinded. Blinded with rage, blinded with anger. It's almost like she's functioning automatically at this point, clashing her Ba's sword against Namaari's equally sharp weapons. Each step happened without a second thought, because the only clear image in her mind was Sisu's body, pierced by an arrow and losing the everlasting glow it once maintained.

This is all Namaari's fault.

If only she followed her own plan instead of Sisu's. She knew that she couldn't trust Namaari, not after all those things she has done to her, done to her Ba, done to all of Kumandra (or at least, what remained of it).

There she was, clashing her sword against Namaari's, putting all of her force into each striking blow. This wasn't the very first time she has fought against the Fang princess, but this was certainly the most intense battle she has had with her in the span of the last few weeks. She could feel Namaari struggle with defending her blows, much to Raya's liking. Her blade found it's way against Namaari's sword in her left hand, causing the Fang princess to slightly loosen her grip. Raya took the opportunity to clash her weapon against it for another time, resulting in a loud metallic sound echoing in the empty palace. Namaari took a few steps back and tried to defend herself against her foe's continuous attacks, failing miserably as Raya grabbed her other hand in a swift motion and kicked her remaining sword to the ground. She was now defenselessly taking several steps back while facing the Heart Princess.

This is all Namaari's fault.

The fight was over. Raya has clearly won the upper hand and Namaari had no other choice but to surrender. After all, she's the one responsible for the events happening around them. The Fang palace is slowly crumbling around them and there was no hope for the people to be safe now that the last dragon is gone, too.

This is all Namaari's fault.

She was the one who gave Raya a gift and therefore a reason to trust her. Namaari on the other hand used said trust against her, causing the world to shatter completely. She was the sole reason why she lost so many years of her own life while trying to survive in a broken world. And when she tried to take the next step, Namaari stabbed her in the back yet again through the action of bringing a crossbow to their supposedly peaceful meating. Sisu was now gone, the Druuns are closing in and humanity is bound to face their last remaining hours.

Without a second thought the Heart Princess lunged forward quickly, glaring into Namaari's soul in contempt of all the painful things she has caused her throughout their journey. Namaari's eyes widen in shock but Raya only responded with the same hateful face she has kept for the whole battle.

It was until she heard yet another metallic sound fill the atmoshpere around them when she tripped forward with the body in front of her that seemed to slowly lose it's balance. Now it's Raya's eyes that widen in shock. Suddenly she wasn't blind anymore. She could see a clear image right in front of her.

Raya's sword was buried right below Namaari's chest. She still held onto the grip of her sword but quickly put an arm around Namaari's waist to prevent her from falling to the ground. Raya's breath quickened up, slowly realising what she has done and what certainly can't be undone now. "Oh god", she whispered, kneeling down with Namaari's body in her arms. "Namaari, I-" She didn't continue because regardless of what she'd say, nothing would be able to help her. Panic rose up in the long haired woman who was now desperately looking around for help. "Raya", Namaari said in a weakened voice. The Heart Princess moved her face towards her foe, tears building up in her eyes. "It's okay", she breathed out shakily while placing a hand on Raya's arm. "No, it's not okay! Namaari I- this- I didn't want this to happen", she said while simultaneously trying to hold her body with both arms now.

"I know Raya" Namaari locked her eyes with Raya's.

"But I deserved it"

Guilt washed over her. She could have ended the fight the moment Namaari was disarmed but instead she strictly followed her cloudy and anger infused mind. She did indeed deserve to be hated by Raya, be shouted at by Raya, be repeatedly scolded for all the things she has done, but she certainly did not deserve this.

"No, you didn't-"

"I did. After all the things I've done, I don't think I could have ever lived with all this guilt weighing on my shoulders. I'm sorry Raya.... I never meant any of this to happen"

Raya kept her eyes on Namaari's face, realising that the princess was indeed speaking the truth. The tears that were slowly streaming down the weakened face were not for the physical pain she's currently feeling but rather the pain she has caused the person who's holding her tight in her arms. Namaari felt a lot of guilt. She has probably felt it all those years ever since the dragon gem broke. After all, she was only a little girl solely following what she was taught. Just like Raya.

All of a sudden, something catches Raya's attention.

The long haired woman glanced over to a small object lying a few inches away from them on the ground. It reflected the remaining sunlight that fought it's way through waves of dusty particles that have been surrounding the two figures throughout their whole confrontation within the royal building.

It was the dragon pendant Namaari has once given to Raya as a gift when they were children. Raya has kept it for six years until she finally gave it back to Namaari so that the two could work together from now on. This pendant meant the world to her, but it also meant the world to Namaari. She couldn't figure out why she has kept it for so long, considering the fact that it was a present from someone who used her trust against her.

But something within her has always found comfort while looking at the pendant in very difficult times. She always thought it was because the jewelry represented Sisu, but now she might recognize the actual reason.

Namaari.

Once her name shot through her mind, she looked at the woman in her arms again. She felt her heart sink as she found Namaari's eyes closed, her mouth just slightly agape and her chest not moving anymore. Raya errupted in tears at the sight, holding Namaari's lifeless body as close as possible towards her own.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry", she wispered into her hair while swaying back and forth with her own trembling body.

This is all my fault.

[it-fits-i-ships]

Rayaari and 35, if you are still doing these.

I am indeed!

35.  An awkward kiss given after a first date.

Boun’s family restaurant boat made regular visits to the region formerly known as Heart. Raya and Boun had grown quite attached to each other, developing a sibling-like dynamic, so it should have come as no surprise to Raya that Boun had gone overboard when she’d told him about her date with Namaari. And yet, when Raya and Namaari arrived at the boat and saw the romantic candle-lit dining setup and Boun with an uncharacteristically clean face and neatly combed hair, Raya’s jaw had fallen open. 

Even more surprising was the fact that his antics actually helped dissipate some of the nervous energy and palpable awkwardness that permeated the date. Between their respective training, the political tensions that had plagued the shattered nation of Kumandra following the dragons’ disappearance, and the chaos the Druun had wrought, neither Raya nor Namaari had been on a date before. Despite that, dinner had gone remarkably well and Raya suggested they take stroll to take in the cool night air to finish off their evening.

“It really is beautiful here at night,” Namaari said, a soft smile forming on her once permanently angry face.

“You’ll have to show me around Fang some time too,” Raya said.

“This time I promise not to try to kill you,” Namaari said, rubbing the back of her neck nervously.

“Hey,” Raya said, gently placing a hand on Namaari’s shoulder, “I meant it when I said there were no hard feelings. Times were crazy and we all did things we aren’t proud of. We’re starting over with a new chapter and I’m glad I get to share it with you.”

They stopped walking as they reached the door to the guest quarters Namaari was staying in. 

“Well, this is me,” Namaari said, pointing to the door.

“I had a lot of fun tonight,” Raya said, “Maybe we could do something tomorrow too?”

Namaari smiled.

“I’d like that,” she said, pausing as a thought seemed to occur to her.

Before Raya knew what was happening, Namaari leaned in and quickly kissed her on the cheek. Namaari’s face was bright red as she fumbled for the door handle without turning around.

“Goodnight!” she said as she hurriedly entered the guest room and closed the door.

“Goodnight,” Raya said softly, raising a hand to touch the spot where Namaari’s lips had been as a wide grin spread across her face.

[thedragonnerd]

Rayaari headcanon - let us be sad with some angst and hurt/comfort

(inspired by a lovely anon)

With the rebirth of Kumandra and the return of their lost loved ones, everyone tries to sweep away the last six years, in a desperate attempt to move on with their lives and not waste any more time dwelling on the past.

But the scars, both physical and mental, still remain, and trauma endured cannot simply be washed away. There is a disconnect between people now - especially between those who had to endure the threat of Druuns hanging over their heads for years, and those who have awoken to a new world and changed people.

The most heart-wrenching discovery for Raya is that she doesn't always know what to say to her own Ba. It's been so long since they spent a lot of time together, and she is a very different person now compared to the 12-year-old little girl he threw into the water. Sometimes, she's worried he won't like the person she has become.

She also has more arguments with him than before, especially whenever he treats her more like a small child than the young woman she is today, who has survived hardship he never wanted her to experience. They don't always see eye-to-eye with each other regarding trade, politics and what is best for Heart, with his optimism and her realism clashing. If they don't resolve their disagreement quickly, Namaari will find Raya crying softly in their bedroom; she hates fighting with her Ba.

Raya sometimes sees children from her past, who were turned to stone in the original Druun attack and been frozen in time until now. It feels a lifetime ago that she was the right age to play with them, and when she sees them laughing and playing games, she wonders was I ever really that young?

She carries a weapon on her at all times, unable to shake off the feeling that something might go wrong. She learnt this the hard way when she was thirteen: a market deal in Talon had gone wrong, and she was attacked by two large men when she was only a child and without a weapon or knowledge how to fight back. Her ability to run fast had saved her that day. Since then, she has vowed never to be caught weaponless again.

One morning when Namaari tries to wake her, she accidentally pulls a knife, holding it up to Namaari's neck. Raya is almost sick with the idea that she could have seriously injured Namaari just through instinct, but Namaari just holds her hands until she calms down, rubbing her thumb back and forth. 'I trust you with my life,' she tells Raya.

Raya also still has moments where waves of anger wash over her, striking her unawares and in an uncontrollable manner. One time, Namaari makes an innocuous comment about Benja that sets Raya off, words of anger and blame falling from her lips with malicious intent. She feels awful after having done it - she never meant for Namaari to become the target of her bad emotions that day, and she can see how far it sets back their fledgling relationship. Namaari spirals into several days of guilt before they reconcile again.

For Namaari sees the trauma Raya carries, and can't help but feel responsible. She adds this to the weight of the guilt she has already carried for the past six years, and then bottles it up inside, with the opinion that she doesn't deserve Raya's sympathy, or indeed sympathy from anyone.

She has been raised to place the safety of her people before herself, growing to accept and embrace the risk to her own life every time she had to go out on a mission beyond the Fang borders and into Druun territory. It is something she has always been willing to do if it means keeping the rest of Fang safe, and in this new, safer world it is difficult to shake off these feelings of self-sacrifice being a worthy endeavour.

Indeed, she sometimes thinks that it would have been nobler to have turned to stone herself at some point over the years, but she is also too pragmatic to believe that would absolve her of her sins.

Her way of trying to atone therefore is to help as many people as possible now. Her self-sacrificing thoughts are channeled into working herself to exhaustion, as she tries to juggle fixing Fang's city and palace, expanding her citizen's homes back out into their previously Druun-infested lands, and offering up her services to any of the other lands who need extra support in rebuilding.

All of this responsibility and guilt weighs her down enough that she sometimes gets hit with extreme panic attacks. She manages to get herself to a private location the first few times it happens, but then it strikes in the middle of a sparring session with Raya, and she just sinks to the floor and covers her face with her hands.

She can faintly hear Raya asking 'what's wrong?' and feels a hand being placed on her trembling shoulder. She opens her mouth to tell Raya to go away, but instead chokes out 'Please stay?' It is the first time she has managed to ask for help.

Both of them have scars scattered across their bodies, each with a different story to tell, and some even caused by the other person. Raya is concerned at first that Namaari will find hers ugly, but Namaari soon puts those fears to rest by peppering them with tiny kisses. A couple of Namaari's old injuries give her trouble still, so Raya returns the favour by giving her massages when the pain behind those scars grows too much.

Trauma and loss is not a new concept to either of them, even before the arrival of the Druuns. At night, sometimes Raya sings a song that she can remember her mother using as a lullaby. Namaari doesn't like to discuss her father, but occasionally, safe in the dark, she will mention a story about an adventure they had together.

Over a long period of time, they are both able to release themselves of some of their fears and traumas; others, they learn to live with, or learn how to help the other cope. The most important thing, they find, is being together through it all.

[poisonivy7]

raya x namaari // chapter 1: raya’s ex-gf returns

ahh thank you guys for all the love and support for my post!! i really appreciate all the likes and reposts :)

i finally finished the first chapter of the fanfic about the ex gf headcannon -- sorry my writing is a bit rusty, but i hope you guys like it!! i’ll be putting it on my ao3 once they decide to take me off the waitlist, and i’ll update it with another chapter if you guys like the first one. enjoy!!

--

Chapter 1:

It had been a week since the Druun was finally extinguished, the dragons returned, and the people of the five different lands came together to form Kumandra once again.

Raya has been spending the past week reconnecting with her father, making sure only to tell him all the good things she’s experienced in the past six years traveling with Tuk Tuk. They took long walks outside the palace in the evening and enjoyed the peaceful silence between them. Occasionally, they would also go out in the courtyard and practice sparring together. It felt like the good old days for Raya, and she couldn’t have been any happier.

That night, at Heart, there was going to be a festival for all to come and celebrate the era of peace that had come upon the newly reunited Kumandra.

While Raya was waiting for the other leaders to arrive, she decided to take a ride on Sisu through Heart. She smiled as the warm sun hit her face and a group of dragons passed by.

As she looked down, she noticed some of the leaders of the different lands arriving by boat. One of them was Fang. At the front of the boat was Namaari. Raya smiled. She was glad that they had finally regained their trust in each other. She missed the friend she had met six years ago. However, she was also a bit nervous to see the Fang princess again. She always seemed to get butterflies whenever they were together, even when they had been sparring in Spine or in Fang’s Royal Palace.

Raya returned home and got dressed for the festival. She tried on several outfits and asked Sisu for her professional opinion many times before settling for one both she and Sisu approved of. “Why are you even stressing out about what you’re going to wear for this festival? It’s not even like anyone will care much. They’ll be too busy fawning over how you literally helped save the world,” Sisu said, rolling her eyes.

“I-I just want to dress my best, that’s all.” In reality, Raya was stressing out that Namaari would be there at the festival that night.

Sisu squinted her eyes. “Really? You sure it’s not to…impress a certain someone?” she asked, winking.

Raya chuckled nervously. “W-What? I’m not trying to impress Namaari, I just want to-“ Her eyes widened when she realized her mistake. Sisu never even mentioned Namaari’s name.

“You said it, not me,” Sisu said, laughing. Raya groaned, face-palming. “If you ever need a wing woman, just holler at me, okay?” she added.

Raya rolled her eyes. “Never in a million years,” she replied, playfully throwing a pillow at Sisu.

After Sisu left laughing, Raya looked outside to see Fang approaching the entrance of the palace. Seeing Namaari made Raya’s throat go dry and sent butterflies in her stomach. The Fang princess was so beautiful with her hairdo and fresh, white outfit. Raya sighed. As much as she hated to admit it, she’s had a crush on Namaari since they first met six years ago, which has only gotten stronger since. However, she figured that there was no way that the Fang princess would ever like her back.

The festival officially began an hour later. Little kids came running in to hug Raya. “Thank you for saving my Ma and Pa,” a little boy said, a big smile on his face.

Raya smiled. “Of course, buddy,” she said, kneeling to his level. She continued interacting with the other kids who were eager to see her. While part of her definitely enjoyed being with the kids, another part of her wanted to distract herself from the fact that she was freaking out that Namaari was in the same room as her.

While Raya was spending time with the kids, Namaari was off in some corner of the room, intently watching Raya. Namaari wasn’t one for parties. Honestly, if her mother hadn’t forced her to go, she would’ve chosen to camp out in the woods because that was the life she was used to living for the past six years.

After a few minutes, Namaari began feeling especially claustrophobic about the increasing amount of people coming in. She decided to sneak out of the room and go down a flight of stairs, finally reaching the balcony to get some fresh air. She had hoped she successfully left without her mother noticing.

Looking over the balcony, she saw the beautiful greenery and the lake. A few dragons were playing with the kids, and more people were entering the palace, eager to meet Raya. Raya. Namaari didn’t know how to explain it, but she got butterflies in her stomach whenever she was with Raya or just thinking about her. She’s never felt like that about anyone else, but it was different with Raya. It always has been different with her. And as much as Namaari was confused about her feelings towards the Heart princess, she knew that she could never be with her. She had betrayed Raya’s trust time and time again; she didn’t deserve her. And anyway, Namaari figured there was no way Raya felt whatever weird feelings she was feeling.

Back in the room, Raya noticed that Namaari was now gone. “Raya! Raya!” a few kids shouted excitedly, running over to her.

“Sorry, kids, I’ll be right back, I promise,” Raya said, getting up. She felt bad as she heard the kids sighing disappointedly, but she needed to find Namaari again. After searching throughout the palace for a while, she finally found Namaari leaning over the balcony. Raya’s heart started beating faster as she came closer to the Fang princess. She was so beautiful, and Raya couldn’t stop staring at Namaari’s strong back muscles.

“It’s beautiful outside tonight, isn’t it?” Raya asked softly from behind Namaari, walking over and standing next to her. Turning to face Raya, Namaari nodded, smiling softly.

“You okay?” Raya asked, noting the quiet, sad look on Namaari’s face. No one had ever asked her about how she was feeling these past few days.

Namaari nodded. “Yeah…it’s just that so much has changed now.”

“Come with me,” Raya replied, gently grabbing Namaari’s arm and leading her to a wooded area a few blocks away from the palace.

“What are we doing here?” Namaari asked, looking around in the woods for any sign of what Raya could have been up to. As Namaari was looking up at the trees and the bright full moon in the sky, she heard Raya drawing out her sword.

“I challenge you to a rematch,” Raya declared confidently with a big grin on her face. The only way she knew how to cheer Namaari up was to have a duel with her.

The princess of Fang smirked. “Okay, but you’re going to lose, dep la.” She drew out her dual swords and stood at a fighting stance across from Raya. They began to clash head-on, each one delivering strong blows. They soon got into a graceful rhythm, and unlike in the past, there were no bloodthirsty, angry feelings from either Raya or Namaari. This time, they were fighting as friends who were finally able to trust one another.

Namaari eventually managed to flick Raya’s sword out of her hand and advanced, ready to pin her opponent down with her dual swords. Just as she was about to do so, she suddenly dropped her swords as a wave of bad memories and guilt came over her. Seeing Raya lying on the ground defenseless gave Namaari flashbacks to when they had fought back in Spine.

Tears filled Namaari’s eyes as she stepped back. “I-I’m so sorry, Raya. I’ve hurt you so much over the past six years. I-“

Raya got up, shaking her head. “I forgive you, you know?” she said softly.

Namaari shook her head. “How can you forgive me, after everything I’ve put you and the world through?” she asked, her voice breaking.

Raya smiled, slowly stepping closer and closer to Namaari until they were only a few inches apart. “Because I know you’ve changed. You’re a better person now; I know it. I mean, you literally helped save the world, dep la.” Raya looked into the Fang princess’ eyes and wiped the tears off her face. Being so close to Raya made Namaari’s heart beat out of her chest. It was at that moment that she realized that all she wanted was Raya.

As their faces were slowly and awkwardly getting closer, Namaari and Raya heard someone behind them ask, “Raya, is that you?”

Raya pulled away and turned around, smiling at who she saw. “Minh?”

They ran into a tight, joyous embrace, both crying of happiness and relief. “I’ve missed you so much, Raya.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Raya replied. Minh proceeded to pull the Heart princess into a passionate kiss.

Namaari was watching the whole encounter. Her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach. She snuck out and continued to run deeper and deeper into the forest until her legs finally gave in. She stopped at a tree, panting, and sunk down, putting her knees up to her chest and resting her face in her hands. She shut her eyes tight, and as much as she fought it, she finally let herself cry. Just like that, an ex-girlfriend came back into Raya’s life, making Namaari lose the one person she’s wanted — no, needed — since what seemed like forever.