#but regardless. fucking awesome i need to watch it NOW

[loverboybrightsideghost]

la cage aux folles musical. that is all.

[andy-wm]

3D by JK (feat. JH) - my take.

Ok, unpopular opinion maybe, and I might get my ass beaten for this (not in a good way 🤣)

Feel free to disagree RESPECTFULLY.

Disclaimer: If anyone comes at me with that cancel bullshit I will block you, because we all get to have an opinion.

If my post enrages you, scroll past until you can be civil, then come back and talk. Or block me. I dont mind.

And don't tell me that because I don't love this song I have to hand in my ARMY card... I'm not going to.

🙂💜🙂

I'll start by saying I love JK so, so much. Adore him. Will always support him.

But for me, 3D is a misstep.

My feeling is Hybe should have reconsidered releasing it as it is.

JK's lyrics are fun and sexy. The innuendo is on point. The melody is great and the chorus has excellent sing-along value. Even though I'm not a huge pop music fan, I like the vibe.

The MV dancers are awesome, and I got a kick out of the fire hydrant metaphor.

And in that jacket with nothing under it, JK looks hot enough to melt asphalt.

However....

Including Jack Harlow's rap IMO is a mistake. It sucks, frankly. Not in a good way.

It not only misses the mark on the tone of the rest of the song but his lyrics are really just offensive. Misogynistic. And racial refrences are just... not cricket. It's 2023 not 1995, regardless of what his hairstyle tells you.

His lyrics sound like an incel bragging about their sex life when all they've ever done is watch porn. From his words, I doubt he knows how to please any person but himself.

His message is gross, but its still just... generic. Like he went to urban dictionary for spicy language and then googled how to treat women like shit. There's nothing original about what he's saying. He's not even being gross in an intersting way. It's gross AND boring.

(Jack, if you're reading this, sorry my guy you gotta do better.)

I've been army since 2018 and this is the first BTS song I have tried to find merit in and given up.

I honestly tried to be into it and i just... can't. It doesn't sit well with me.

This is a new experience for me because even when BTS release something i don't immediately love, i still stream and watch and let it sink in, or I work on figuring out what I am missing and why it's ACTUALLY good even if i can't grasp it.

This... it's just... not good, in my opinion.

I have to clarify here...

It isn't about explicit content, i am totally down for that. If anyone read my post on Seven, they will know my response to that song. In a nutshell, I believe all adults who want to, should happily and shamelessly be doing ALL the horizontal tango. Every type, every day, in every way. With anyone and everyone they fancy as long as all parties are informed and consenting adults who are equally enjoying the experience.

Yes. I am all about getting down.

That doesn't mean treating your partners like a body count or using and abusing them with no consideration. That's not cool.

**PSA: please be safe and use protection. Get tested regularly if you have multiple partners. Don't do anything you don't feel good about and dont stay with partners who harm or manipulate you 💜**

Now, back to the smut.

Some criticisms i saw of Seven were about how dirty it was. A few people were upset because JK said fuck, and because he sang about how and when he liked to fuck. But more criticism was levelled at Letto. Why?

It seemed like it was because she's a woman, singing about sex.

Letto totally owns her sexuality and she knows what she wants. I snorted with delight at how deliciously filthy her lyrics were. Some very clever wordplay made her verse so visceral, and pretty shocking to the pearl-clutchers, without her ever saying anything directly. I really enjoyed it.

She was telling us straight up how good she is in bed. Good for her. She totally rocks. And she wasn't disrespecting anyone. She didn't need to do that to make herself cool AF.

The difference between Letto's rap and jack harlow's is that jack sounds like he's just looking at the women he's singing about as a hole to stick his dick in. Women have fought for long enough for equality and respect. They don't need this bullshit. You can sing about getting down, and you can be absolutely filthy and nasty and wild, and you can do it without degrading your partners.

I did read a theory about this song being social commentary on toxic masculinity. You can find it here and you can read it below:

Its not bad as a theory. At least it wouldn't be if Namjoon or Yoongi or Hobi - or Jungkook himself - had written the song. If that were the situation we'd see some inkling of self awareness in the rap, and maybe a hint of character development. But there's none.

Sorry ARMY, this is not the class of lyricism we have come to expect.

If jack is trying to make a social statement^*, or play a character, he is not succeeding in showing any growth or humanity at all. He's really just that stereotype.

In the last few lines, after he offers to fly his victim from Korea to Kentucky, he says "and you ain’t gotta guarantee me nothing I just wanna see if I get lucky."

How considerate...

All I see is zero care factor about the actual person he's trying to get with. Which is quite different from JK's lyrics, which show awareness that he's interacting with a conscious, living human being, not a piece of furniture.

jack follows with "I just wanna meet you in the physical and see if you would touch me"

Ugh. Not with a ten foot pole, douchebag.

And how about, in his first verse "All my ABGs get cute for me"

Good god, really? Is he seriously saying this?

So its a no for me.

The ONLY saving grace is that there's an alternative version which is pretty fun. It's almost as if Hybe knew we would hate the version with jack harlow. Wow, such insight!

Now, i know that's not the only reason they made an alternative. They needed a clean version for US radio play (let's be real, what possible other purpose can this song serve? *°)

But they could have censored jack's... actually they couldn't. The rap verses can't be salvaged. They genuinely have no merit, the only hope for the song is totally removing them.

What does that tell you?

ARMY will no doubt still chart the main track but personally, I would feel morally compromised if i supported that version. So I'll stick to the alternative and hope for better things to come.

------------

^* Stylecaster doesnt think so either. I visited their website to check thr lyrics. They said, of D3, "Meanwhile, Jack Harlow brings the cool with his two verses as he raps about all the women he could pull"

Uh, really? I hope that's intended to be ironic.

*° The MV had only 4.5million views after 12 hours. And we know what brilliant strategists Hybe employs. I am travelling in Korea right now. There was no promo visible here. And it was no accident that it was released at lunchtime on Chuseok - the biggest famiily holiday of the year - when relatively few people in Korea would be available to engage with it. THEY KNEW IT WAS A STINKER.

[munsonsgirl71]

Would you do a fluffy first date with Joseph Quinn? Maybe with a split reader and joe POV?

Perfect First Date - Joseph Quinn x Reader

A/N: I have no clue what happened with this... I've been working on it for DAYS and this idea just came out of nowhere. No clue if this is what you're looking for but it's fluffy with a bit of humor. Thank you for requesting!

“Awesome first date, huh?” You smiled weakly as you rolled your head towards the relative stranger sitting next to the hospital bed you were laying in. His brown eyes were sparkling under the fluorescents as he sat back in his chair, legs spread wide with his hands resting on his stomach. “You don’t have to stay. Seriously. You can go. It’s okay.” 

“Absolutely not.” He chuckled as he shook his head slowly. “I’m not leaving you here to get home by yourself, love. I’m not that kind of guy.” 

“Joe, it’s nearly midnight.” You rolled your eyes at his insistence to stay at your bedside but he just continued to shake his head. “Fine! You can stay.” 

“I was going to regardless.” He shrugged as his lips spread into that smile that made your knees weak and your head feel dizzy. “How’s your pain?” 

“Down to a five I think.” You flashed him your own smile as you held up your swollen wrist and looked at him through your splayed fingers. “You think it’s broken?” 

“If you can move it, I don’t think so.” He mused as he sat up and leaned towards you, taking your bruising arm into his big, warm hands. “You’re gonna have a wicked bruise though.” 

“Will it be wizard?” You giggled and his eyebrows shot up as the corners of his lips tipped down into a fake frown. “Sorry, sorry. I had to.” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He rolled his eyes but let his fingers brush up and down your arm as he scooted to the end of his chair. “It will be wizard though. The most metal.” 

“Ever?” You squealed quietly as your whole face lit up with your smile and he scrunched up his nose as he nodded. 

“Ever.” 

“Alright. Scans are back.” The doctor came in with a piece of paper in hands and you both looked towards him as he broke through your moment. Joe’s hands didn't leave your arm and you weren’t pulling away either. “There’s a tiny fracture at the base of your Ulna but it should heal on its own. I’m sending you home with some pain meds and some anti-inflammatories for the swelling. Try not to move it too much in the next few days, a week or so. Keep it elevated and ice it when needed. And you’ll need to set up an appointment with your primary care doctor in about two weeks just to check on things. Any questions for me?” 

“No, sir.” You shook your head as he handed you a piece of paper and you took it with your good hand. “Thank you.” 

“No problem.” His smile was professional as he typed a few things into his iPad and then looked up at you with amusement in his eyes. “Watch out for those curbs, okay? Don’t wanna see you back in here.” 

“You got it.” You giggled as he turned on his heels and left the room without another word. You sighed with relief as you rolled your head back towards Joe and his quirked left eyebrow. “What?” 

“I’m literally sitting right here and he was flirting with you!” There was laughter in his voice but his eyes narrowed as he looked towards the door. “Asshole.” 

“Joe!” You giggled as you swatted at him with the paper in your head and he turned back to you with fake offense written all over his face. “You’re the one who told him we were just friends.” 

“Well I can’t really call you more now can I? We haven't even finished our first date yet.” 

“Sorry.” You mumbled as you dropped your eyes to your lap and pulled your hand away from him to join the other on your thighs. “I really fucked this up, didnt I?” 

“Not at all.” He reassured as he laid both of his hands over yours and gave a light squeeze. “I’m having a lovely time. Best first date ever.” 

“You’re so full of it.” You rolled your eyes just as a petite blonde nurse bustled into the room rambling about your discharge paperwork and aftercare instructions as she unhooked you from all the machines. She was talking at you while her eyes kept flickering to Joe and you felt that uneasy feeling squeeze your heart as you watched her flirt. You couldn't blame her. You’d been doing the same thing all night long. But he was there with you and she could really learn to be more professional. 

An hour later after a stop off at the pharmacy you were leaning against the stone wall of your building as Joe fumbled with your keys in the lock. The pain meds they’d given you at the hospital had fully kicked in and you were a stumbling, drunk mess. 

“Joey! You gotta turn it over.” You giggled as you reached for his hand but it fell short and you giggled harder. “Flat on the bottom.” 

“I tried that, honey.” His eyes were focused on what his hands were doing and the tip of his pink tongue was poked out between his plump lips. “You’re sure this is the key?” 

“Yes!” You nodded as you drug out the s a little too long. “Gold square.” 

“You said triangle!” He shot you a betrayed look as he held up the key in his hand and you giggled again. 

“I did not, silly boy!” You shook your head wildly as you grabbed your key ring from him and shuffled through the metal until you found what you were looking for. You held it up in front of his face triumphantly as he narrowed his eyes at you, “Square. Flat side down.” 

He snatched the key from you and pushed it into the lock, another giggle escaping you as the deadbolt slid open and he rolled his eyes as he pushed the door open. You gave him a beaming smile as you sauntered into the foyer of your house and kicked off your shoes. He flicked on the light by the door and you hummed quietly as you reached for the hem of your shirt and pulled it up over your head, throwing it somewhere behind you. 

“Wh-what are you doing?” There was a bit of hesitation in his voice as you walked down the hall and started working on the button of your jeans. “Keep your pants on!” 

“You keep your pants on.” You mumbled over your shoulder as you took a hard left into your bedroom. “These clothes are suffocating! I need my jammies.” 

He stood in the foyer of your apartment as he listened to the sounds of you opening and closing drawers and shuffling out and into new clothes. You emerged ten minutes later to find him standing in the exact same spot with his coat still on and you giggled. 

“What’s funny?” 

“You’re so awkward. Take your jacket off and come inside.” You were still laughing as you crossed the hallway and pushed open the double doors to your living room. “Jesus, Joe. Relax.”

“I’m sorry.” He chuckled, more to himself than to you, as he shrugged out of his jacket and hung it up on the rack next to your door. “I just thought I wouldn’t be seeing the inside of your place until the third date.” 

“Our first date isn't even over and you’re already thinking about the third one?” You called back to him as you flipped on the tv and flopped backwards onto the couch just as he came into view. “That’s a little presumptuous of you, Mr. Quinn. What if I don’t want a third date?” 

“Well then I guess it’s a good thing I’m seeing it now.” He deadpanned as he joined you on the sofa, legs kicked up on your coffee table like he’d been there a million times as his arm went to rest on the back of the couch behind you. “Movie?” 

“Nah.” You shook your head as you clicked through the menu on the TV and pulled up Netflix. “I have a better idea.” 

“Don’t you even think…” He was cut off as you clicked on the show you’d been looking for and his eyes rolled into the back of his head as he threw it back against the cushions. “Don’t do this to me, love. Please.” 

“Oh come on, Joey!” You looked over at him with your bottom lip poked out in a pout. “I'm in pain and he makes me feel better.” 

“Eddie makes you feel better?” He pulled his head up and looked down at you with wide eyes. “Really?” 

“Yeah, that’s the whole point of a comfort character.” You looked at him with a blank stare and he rolled his eyes again. 

“Fine… just… fine.” 

“I'm just messing with you!” You giggled and his eyes widened as his nostrils flared out. “I just wanted to see your reaction. I would not make you sit here and watch Stranger Things with me. That’s fucking weird. And besides… who needs Eddie when I’ve got you?” 

“You’re a charmer, aren’t you?” He was smirking at you as you leaned your head onto his shoulder and threw your arm over his waist, shoving the remote into his free hand. 

“Find us something to watch, please.” You murmured as you cuddled into his side with a content sigh. “Is it okay if I cuddle?” 

“Shouldn’t you have asked before you got comfy?” You don't have to look up to know he’s smiling, you can hear it, and the way his arm slid around your shoulders from the back of the couch told you he didn’t mind in the slightest. He flipped through a couple of movies before he settled on one you’d never heard of and tossed the remote to the coffee table. 

“Can I ask you a question?” You whisper as the title credits start rolling and you pick your head up to look at him. He nods as his eyes slide from the screen to your face and you get lost in his brown irises for far too long, the clearing of his throat breaking you out of your trance. “Why’d you ask me out?”  

“What?” 

“That day in the coffee shop when I spilled my iced coffee all over your pants… Why did you ask me out?” You pushed against his stomach to set up a little more and a soft grunt huffed through his lips as you turned to face him. “I was a mess and I literally called you Joe before you even said anything so you obviously knew I recognized you. I’ve been trying to figure it out all week and I just… I’m coming up empty.” 

“You’re right, I did know that you knew who I was but it didn't matter to me.” He shrugged as he turned to face you. “Yeah you called me Joe but you just… treated me like a normal person? I don’t know how to describe it. You got all flustered and cute and your cheeks were pink but it’s because you spilled coffee, not because of me. And honestly, I saw this beautiful girl with an amazing smile and I knew I would regret it if I didn’t at least attempt to get to know you.” 

“Do you regret asking me? After the absolute shit show this night has been?” 

“Darling, I would push you off a million curbs if it meant I got to have more nights like this.” He laughed wholeheartedly and his body shook with the force. “Especially with you. Stop beating yourself up. We had a lovely dinner, a great chat and now we’re snuggled up on your couch watching a film. This has honestly been the best first date I have ever had.”  

“And you’re not just saying that right?” You pulled up an eyebrow as you narrowed your eyes at him, suspicious of his honesty cause honestly… How could this have been the best first date? He literally watched you step off a curb, try to catch yourself on your arm and then cry in pain when you felt something snap. He had rushed you to the nearest ED only to spend hours in the cold waiting room. It was a chaotic mess and it was your life. Shit like that happened to you all the time. 

“I am not just saying that.” He reassured you as his hand came up and cupped your cheek. “I mean every word. I have had the best time and I am looking forward to a million more dates with you.” 

“A million more?” Your eyes went wide as you nuzzled your cheek into his hand. “That’s a lot, Joe.” 

“We’ve got time, love.” And before you could even blink his plush pink lips were on yours and your entire body just melted into him. It was soft and warm, slow and sweet. 

The perfect first kiss. 

And as his lips moved with yours you silently hoped for a million more.

[isa-ghost]

I need qPhil to tell Sunny how awesome and swaggy she is so she stops thinking he hates her and so Tubblings that clearly don't watch any other POV besides Tubbo's shut the FUCK up about Phil hating her and stop posting the most rancid, untrue, one-sided & illiterate ass takes I've ever seen.

IT'S MISCOMMUNICATION. THAT QPHIL DOESNT REALIZE IS HAPPENING. BECAUSE NO ONE HAS TOLD HIM. BECAUSE QTUBBO'S STUPID ASS (I SAY THIS AS A TUBBLING MYSELF) DOESN'T FUCKING SPEAK UP FOR HIS DAUGHTER. AT LEAST NOT OFTEN ENOUGH. NO ONE ELSE BESIDES HIM REALIZES SUNNY IS FEELING THE WAY SHE IS. AND HE SAYS NOTHING ABOUT IT TO ANYONE. AND SUNNY DOESN'T REALIZE SHE CAN SPEAK UP HERSELF. OR SHE'S AFRAID TO BC SHE'S JUST A KID, WHICH IS COMPLETELY VALID. SUNNY'S ADMIN IS FANTASTIC AT PLAYING A CHILD THAT DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THIS SOCIAL STUFF.

TUBBLINGS NEED TO PULL THEMSELVES OUT OF RP FOR 2 SECONDS AND REALIZE A CHILD'S PERCEPTION OF THE WORLD ISN'T WHAT'S ACTUALLY TRUE. FOR A BUNCH OF CHRONIC METAGAMERS, THEY FUCKING SUCK AT THINKING META WHEN IT ACTUALLY FUCKING MATTERS. I SAY THIS AS SOMEONE WHO WATCHES STREAMS REGULARLY. I SEE CHAT.

AND IT SHOULDN'T BE ONLY SUNNY'S JOB TO SPEAK UP FOR HERSELF WHEN SHE'S FEELING A BAD WAY ANYWAY. PARENTS SPEAK FOR THEIR EGGS ALL THE TIME. TUBBLINGS MAY NOT HAVE WATCHED QSMP BEFORE TUBBO WAS ON TO KNOW THAT, BUT THEY'RE METAGAMING LITTLE FUCKERS ANYWAY. SO IF THEY'RE SO PRESSED ABOUT THIS, THE LEAST THEY COULD DO IS THINK OF PROPOSING COMMUNICATING ON SUNNY'S BEHALF AS IF IT'S AN ORIGINAL IDEA THEY HAD, SINCE THEY LOVE SUGGESTING META OR BACKGAME-Y SHIT SO MUCH.

OR THEY SHOULD THEMSELVES OUT OF RP FOR 2 FUCKING SECONDS TO REALIZE ROLEPLAY IS ABOUT COMMUNICATION. AND TUBBO IS NOT COMMUNICATING THAT THERE IS AN ISSUE. SO THIS IS NOT PHIL'S FAULT.

Also Tubblings & Phil antis in general have this habit of assuming he's being fucking rude when That's Just How Northerners Talk. So good job, you dumbasses are stereotyping. I've seen so many UK northerners speak up about how they hate seeing people from their region labeled as assholes for talking the way they talk. But I digress.

REGARDLESS OF FANDOM ISSUES.

QTUBBO SHOULD HAVE TOLD PHIL BY NOW THAT SUNNY FEELS THIS WAY. INSTEAD OF LETTING THIS FUCKING FESTER. WORSE, SOMETIMES HE STRAIGHT UP TALKS TO SUNNY LIKE HER PERCEPTION OF PHIL HATING HER IS TRUE. RATHER THAN REASSURING HER HE DOESN'T. FROM PHIL'S POV, TALLULAH & SUNNY GET ALONG NOW SO THERE'S NO TENSION BETWEEN THE DEATH FAMILY & THE UNDERSCORE FAMILY. HE HAS NO FUCKING IDEA THAT SUNNY DOESN'T RECOGNIZE HE'S TEASING. OR THAT HE CAME OFF A WRONG WAY. AGAIN, HE JUST TALKS THE WAY HE TALKS. AND SUNNY DOESN'T REALIZE THAT. AND THAT'S OK BC SHE'S A KID.

I hope to god this is ccTubbo playing his character this way intentionally bc I'm down for imperfect/flawed characters. Even if this is aggravating me SO MUCH and even if I HATE characters that think everyone & everything is against them when it's clearly not true. Bc at least then that means there's time for qTubbo to learn he's severely fucking things up going about things the way he is. There's opportunity for the narrative to progress and for the conflict to resolve. qPhil is imperfect and flawed and I snort that shit like crack. I'm down to ride out qTubbo's character development just the same even if I don't enjoy it.

BUT UNDER THE ASSUMPTION THAT THIS IS NOT A MATTER OF META VS RP AND NOT AN INTENTIONAL CHOICE ON CCTUBBO'S PART.

QTUBBO SHOULD BE SUPPORTING SUNNY WHETHER THAT MEANS SPEAKING UP FOR HER OR ENCOURAGING HER TO. INSTEAD HE BASICALLY GOES "DAMN THAT'S CRAZY, WE'RE BOTH SO HATED" AND MOVES ON. WHEN. IF YOU WATCH PHIL OR FIT OR PAC OR MAYBE EVEN BAGI BC SHE'S ON "EARLY" SOMETIMES. THEY ALL CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THEM BOTH. THEY CARE ABOUT EVERY ISLANDER. EVEN THE ONES THAT DON'T SHOW UP FOR FUCKING MONTHS. ITS THEM VS THE FEDS. ALWAYS. EVEN AFTER FUCKING PURGATORY, THEY WILL ALL STILL DROP EVERYTHING TO MAKE SURE EGGS ARE OK OR ASK IF PEOPLE NEED HELP WHEN MESSAGES POP UP IN CHAT. THEY STILL PANIC EVEN WHEN MESSAGES OF SOMEONE GOING DOWN POP UP BECAUSE THEY'RE PLAYING AROUND. IT HAPPENED JUST THE OTHER DAY WITH RICHAS AND MIKE. NOT EVEN BEING FORCED TO BETRAY AND HURT EACH OTHER, AND BEING PITTED AGAINST EACH OTHER FOR WEEKS HAS BROKEN THE BONDS THEY ALL HAVE. THIS ISLAND HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN "IT TAKES A VILLAGE" ISLAND. EGG NEED HELP, EGG SAD, PARENTS SCRAMBLE TO HELP AND COMFORT. SAME WITH FELLOW ISLANDERS. EVERYTHING THE ISLANDERS DO IS TO A) PROTECT THE EGGS NO MATTER WHO'S EGG IT IS, B) PROTECT AND SUPPORT EACH OTHER, AND C) TO FIND ANSWERS FROM THE FEDS TO GET CLOSURE. OR ESCAPE THE ISLAND. THE DAY TUBBLINGS LEARN THAT IT'S NOT AND NEVER HAS BEEN TUBBO VS EVERYONE IS THE DAY I KNOW FUCKING PEACE.

SO I AM BEGGING. THAT IF QTUBBO WON'T FUCKING SPEAK UP FOR SUNNY. AND IF SHE'S TOO AFRAID TO SPEAK UP FOR HERSELF. THAT AT THE VERY LEAST, PHIL FUCKING DOTES ON HER SO SHE REALIZES HE DOESN'T FUCKING HATE HER. AND THEN TUBBLINGS REALIZE HE DOESN'T FUCKING HATE HER. HE DOESN'T HATE ANYONE ON THE ISLAND THAT ISN'T A FED OR A PURGATORY FUCKWAD. AND BY DOTING ON SUNNY AND TELLING HER HOW COOL AND FUN SHE IS, TUBBLINGS WILL FINALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP. AND SUNNY AND THE CROWS WILL ALL KNOW FUCKING PEACE.

[kindnessisweakness2]

7

"You look fucking sexy!" Cara whistled as Emily emerged from her bedroom in a pair of tight black leather look trousers and a gold halter neck top. It left her back bare apart from one band that stretched across the width of her back keeping the cowl neck at the front flying away and exposing her boobs. Her tattoo on full display. Paired with black chunky heels and dangly gold earrings, her long black & purple hair was pulled up into a curly/messy up do. "I don't know Car, I feel like it's too much." Cara shook her head, her own ear rings shaking. "No! You look amazing." Emily looked at Cara's outfit. Tight black jeans, a red lacy body con that made her boobs look incredible and red heeled boots. Paired with a black leather jacket, red earings and her hair curled she was ready to go. The sound of a car horn made Cara grin. "That's our cab! No time to change now come on you beautiful bitch. Get out!" Emily groaned loudly as Cara pulled her along, barley having time to lock her front door.

Not even 15 minutes later and they were walking through the gates of Teller Morrow. Jax was right about there being a party. People filled the parking lot, loud thumping of music could be heard even from outside as girls danced around any man with a reaper patch. "Damn these boys know how to throw a party!" Cara whistled as the man that Emily knew as Juice walked past. "And blonde Adonis did not disappoint, that boy is fine with a capital F!" Cara's eyes did not leave Juice as he sat down next to Opie on the far tables by the boxing ring. " Your a horny bitch y'know that?" Emily giggled at her friend. Cara rolled her eyes turning to fully face an amused Emily. "Oh come on! Not like you don't think the exact same about Blondie! I know you Em! I bet your dirty little mind has already fucked that man 6 ways to Sunday!" The Shock on her face was clear as Emily adamantly denied it. "I have not imagined doing dirty things to Jaxon Teller, you bitch!" Emily playfully shoved Cara! "Oh well that disappoints me darlin" a gasp fell from her lips as she turned to face the one and only Prince. Cara giggling like a school girl beside her. Emily felt like the wind was knocked out of her. There he was in his baggy jeans, a grey checkered shirt and that fucking leather kutte she wished she could pull him around by. She would never admit it but fuck the things she wanted to do to him. "Your back tattoo is awesome." He smiled as he admired her back. The full dark image of the grim reaper etched into her back was her most loved tattoo to date. "Thanks! I got it when I was 19 back in England. It's my favourite of all I have." Jax smiled as he watched her light up, tattoos clearly were a passion of hers. "What's the quote say?" Jax leaned closer, his breath fanning across her neck making her shiver and her own breath catch in her throat. "You can be a king or a street sweeper, everyone dances with the Grim Reaper.' Emily recited the cursive words that were inked across her shoulders. "A reminder, both the lowest of the low and the highest will have to face the reaper one day. Regardless of anything, you never out run the reaper. It'll always catch up." Jax smiled wide at her. "Sorry I'm abit morbid. Death, superstition, fate all of it excites me." Emily looked down and picked at the nail polish on her fingers. Noah would constantly tell her to shut up about all that stuff. Hated her ink, regardless of it's meaning to her. Tattoos to him were a turn off. Cara watched it. The moment Emily got excited finally letting a piece of her wall slip away. She also noticed how quick she retreated into herself. Shut herself up without having to be told. Quickly thinking on her feet, knowing she needed to change the subject, Cara stepped forward."Can you introduce me to your friend? He's fit as fuck and like I said earlier we need sexy men!" Laughing at Jax's expression, Cara noticed Emily smile again. "Juice. She likes Juice." Jax nodded throwing his arm around Emily he lead them both towards the table where his brothers sat. "Yo Juice! This is Cara, shes a friend of Em's." Juice smiled at Cara as she went to sit next to him. And that was the moment Emily knew she lost her friend for the rest of the night.

"How are you Em?" Opie asked as everyone around the table smiled at her. Juice and Cara in their own little world, but Happy, Opie, Chibs and Halfsack all watched her with smiles. Shock and confusion must of been clear to see on her face because Chibs spoke up. "Don't worry darlin' we don't bite! Jackie boy here don't shut the hell up about ya. Oh and that lasagne you made...perfection!" He smiled as Jax went red. Emily couldn't help but smile back. He was comforting, had the whole daddy vibe going on. Before she could say anything back to Chibs, she jumped at the feeling of a hand trailing down her back. Turning quickly she locked eyes with Noah. "Are you out of your fucking mind?" She snapped. Noah flashed her a smile that months ago would've easy made her melt and give in. But now? Now it made her angry. "You Not gave in yet? Thought you would've calmed down by now." Jax tensed beside her. "Thought I told you to stay away prospect?" Noah bristled at the way he spat out the word prospect, like it was an insult. "When are you gonna accept the fact I'm done with you?" Noah's face scrunched in anger at her words."You being done have anything to do with the fact HIS bike was parked outside our house 3 nights ago?" He spoke through gritted teeth. Jax went to step forward but Emily's hand on his chest. This was her fight. "MY House. MY bed. MY Choice." Noah's hands shook With temper. "Oh so your not denying it? You had him in MY BED?" Emily felt the redness creeping up her neck spreading like fire. It wasn't embarrassment though, it was pure rage. "Oh you mean the bed you had that WHORE in? No not that I got rid of it. Just like I got rid of you you little weasel." The laughter from Jax tipped Noah over the edge. "I told you to stay away!" Out of nowhere, Noah was knocked to the floor by a feisty brunette. Cara standing over him high heeled boot hovering at his groin. "I dare you to move you little wanker." Noah looked up at her clearly pissed off. "fuck sake when did you get here?" Hands on her hips, Cara blew a fallen strand of hair from her face. "Not soon enough, clearly. Now listen to me..." Cara pushed her stiletto heel hard enough into his groin to make him groan but not near enough as hard as she wanted to. "This is your last warning to back off. I swear little boy, I'll stomp on them till their mush." When Noah didn't respond she pressed down slightly harder, making him groan in pain again. "Fine." He spat. When Cara didn't move her foot, Noah looked at her questioningly. "I think your missing something?" Noah grinded his teeth in anger. Looking at Emily who stood silently next to a grinning Jax, Noah mumbled a pathetic "I'm sorry." Cara sighed in fake disappointment. "I think you can do better than that." Noah muttered something about her being a crazy bitch. "I'm sorry Emily. I really am. I love -" Cara clapped her hands sarcastically, "Well done almost believed your performance. That'll have to do, your cutting into our fun now off you fuck!"

Emily looked blankly at Noah as she watched him pull himself up from the floor and with one last look sloped off into the clubhouse. She had an unsettling feeling in her stomach as it twisted and turned. Was it just the effect of seeing him again? If he thought Jax was sleeping with her did everyone else? Was this fun and games to Jax? Fuck around with the prospect and wind him up, get under his skin. She didn't know what to think. But there's one thing she couldn't deny and that's the way her heart leaped when she looked at Jax. The way her stomach fluttered. That feeling was hope. And she wouldn't allow herself to entertain it. She's messed up enough as it is right now. Jax could have anyone he wanted, it was a known fact he slept his way around Charming and she won't let her heart get crushed again.

Distance. That's what she needed.

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Hello! I love your work! Could I possibly please get an Eddie x popular!reader who knows absolutely barely nothing about dnd apart from it’s a game and it’s got dice. Like she’s supportive of him having his interests and hobbies and everything and wouldn’t say a bad word about it but knows nothing about it and isn’t into it herself. I don’t mind what happens in the story I just always read ones where the reader is part of hellfire or knows all about dnd and I know nothing as it’s not really my thing! If you could make the reader opinionated and sarcastic as well that would be my dream as I am a far cry from the sunshine and rainbows readers I always read! Thank you so much!! It’s absolutely okay if not as well!! :)

Request by anon ❤

Warnings; Fluff, No Vecna in this story, except in Eddie's D&D campaign ;)

Likes or reblogs are always welcome and appreciated ❤

I don't give anyone permission to copy my work

❤

"I think I could stay like this forever," she says cuddling into her boyfriend Eddie who smiles pressing a gentle kiss to her hair.

"We could princess? Call in sick and maybe we could just stay in bed all weekend?" he asks mischievously.

She smirks.

"Uh, I think your sheeples at Hellfire would have something to say about that baby" he sighs.

"Shit! yeah can't miss tonight sweetheart, we are knee-deep in a tournament including Vecna, it's so cool babe. Gonna be a rough tournament for the boys"

She feels a little tug in her stomach, not really versed in D&D and the lore she struggled to keep up with what he talked about but regardless he knew that and she was always supportive of his hobbies.

Sometimes she did worry that he would prefer a girl who was into D&D and understood everything he said.

"What's wrong princess?" he notices the look on her face and she pouts.

"Eddie, do you ever wish for a girlfriend who's into D&D and knows about it all and isn't completely clueless about it?"

She tries to hide how much it bothers her, she rarely feels insecure in this relationship, Eddie loves her as much as she loves him and treated her like a queen but this is a worry that's been lingering for a while now.

"Why would I want that when I have the most amazing girl already? I love you sweetheart and we have a lot in common, we both love horror movies, you love Metallica and Iron Maiden, you got me into Queen and they are fucking awesome. We both love reading and a lot more"

She relaxes and snuggles back into his arms.

"We don't have to have all the same interests princess it would be boring after a while if we did. I like that we are into different things, I don't know shit about Cheerleading but I know it's awesome and you work super hard and love it so it's important to me"

Her heart swells at his sweetness and she kisses him.

"God, you're disgustingly sweet" he laughs and she finally gets up groaning at the chilly air.

It was well into Autumn now and it was very chilly in Hawkins.

"You know I think we can skip one day after all don't you?" He whoops.

"Absolutely" then he pulls her back into bed and wraps his arms around her.

"But we have to go to Hellfire princess, can you stay and watch? You're my good luck charm" he pouts and she giggles.

"How can I resist those eyes and that pout" his big brown eyes were her weakness and he knew it.

"Fine, fine... Can I sit on your throne?" he grins.

"Baby, I love you but it's my throne, I'm the Dungeon Master". She frowns.

"But you weren't complaining about me sitting on it when I surprised you that time and took you to Hellfire early and we played Dungeon Master and his Mistress" she bats her eyes and he gets a glazed look on his face and grins at the memory.

"We really need to do that again sweetheart". she nods eagerly and relents.

"Fine, you can sit on it until I set up the campaign".

❤

Hellfire arrives quicker than she expects and then she and Eddie brace the chilly air to get to the Drama Club.

While he sets up quickly she takes a seat and Dustin and Mike are the first to arrive then Lucas.

"Hey, how come she can sit on your throne?" Mike complains.

"Because I am his adorable albeit sarcastic yet loving girlfriend Wheeler," she tells him with a smirk.

Eddie looks up annoyed.

"Do you have a problem with my girl sitting there butthead?" Mike splutters and shakes his head.

Dustin rolls his eyes at Mike and Dustin hugs her as Lucas shows her the new trainers he got for playing basketball.

She'd never admit it but Dustin, Lucas and Mike were her favourites in Hellfire, they were like her little brothers and she adored them, which meant she also loved teasing them along with Eddie.

"Princess, I need my throne now. Got to get to work" he tells her as the others arrive.

She might not know much about Hellfire but she sure does love watching Eddie play. He was so focused and intense and it made her stomach flutter with butterflies.

It also made her want to pounce on him but she would save that for when they were back home. It was just very hot watching him when he was in his element as The Dungeon Master.

He's so focused and magnetic that even she was enchanted by the story he was weaving.

She smiles when a character he's created, which he told her was based on her comes up.

An Elven princess, who could weave magic and heal injuries and had a wicked, sharp tongue.

Damn straight she thinks grinning as she hears the description and he briefly comes out of character to wink at her.

Once the session winds down with great victory for the team Eddie approaches her and pulls her in for a kiss.

"Told you that you were my lucky charm princess, now let's get home and continue our lazy weekend yeah? I'm thinking mac and cheese and you for dessert yeah?" he raises an eyebrow.

"You sure do know a way to a girl's heart, Munson, come on" she takes his hand and leads him to his van ready for the weekend.

❤

[thatstonedwriter]

Trip Out w/ Me

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A/N: I love this prompt so much, and I may turn this into a Headcanon Set involving more characters. Post is named after my "getting high" spotify playlist. I also made this from a platonic perspective, but it could be perceived as romantic, if you squint.

Contents; mentions of substances, platonic relationships, swearing, gender neutral reader

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It was a pleasant surprise when Loona asked if she could join you for one of your sessions. To make sure you're both comfortable, you go out and make sure you have all the necessary supplies. There's more planning that goes into it than some may think..

For the set up, you've got a small speaker playing some trippy music, or maybe a small T.V or computer to watch something on. There's a light projector with patterns that dance across the walls- or maybe some fairy lights. You can never go wrong with fairy lights. You've got your vape pen, edibles, bong, etc. (whatever you're down to use). Of course, you can't forget your beverages of choice. Gotta stay hydrated, after all. Whatever your preferred set up/environment, you're now prepped for a fucking awesome sesh.

Now, there are many different kinds of high, especially depending on what strain you use. Regardless, Loona appreciates the relaxed atmosphere. Whether your high involves laying in bed and watching movies, hyperfixating on something, or just laying on the floor and listening to music, Loona is down for pretty much anything. With you, she doesn't need to worry about making a good impression or masking.

Munchies can be a bitch, so if Loona isn't smoking or drinking, she'll be happy to be your designated driver. Y'all could go through some fast food place or go to a sit-down restaurant, it doesn't matter. If both of you are inebriated, then it gives you an excuse to order food for delivery. Eliminates the need to go anywhere and you don't have to interact with more people than necessary. Win-win.

It's easier to laugh at shit when you're high. It's great. Especially since Loona's laugh is so loud. It's that kind of laugh where you're on the floor, gripping your sides, tears welling in your eyes. It's the kind of laugh that's contagious, that makes you feel free.

On the flip side, however.. if either of you get a little too high and the anxiety starts to kick in, it's important to have a contingency plan. Noise cancelling headphones, soft blankets, a jacket, water, and lots of hugs/cuddles (if physicality helps).

I strongly believe that Loona's favorite part of any sesh would include the "making a pillow-fort and watching something" segment. Not to get angsty, but she's never had a concrete sense of safety, stability, or comfort (except for some moments with Blitz). That's why she appreciates these sessions so much.

Personally, I think weed makes us more genuine/honest, and I think Loona would be anxious about that at first. What if it brings out the worst in her? This could all go horribly wrong.. But it doesn't, much to her surprise. There may be a point where you both trauma dump or have deep talks, which makes Loona feel seen for the first time... ever, really. To be honest, she'd probably end up sleeping over.

Loona loves having you in her life. Not only can you provide a safe, relaxed environment for her to exist in, you're just one of her favorite people. Don't be surprised if she asks to hang out more often. Whether if its a trip to the dispensary, getting high in one of your rooms, or just existing together, Loona couldn't ask for a better person to be around.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Ending Note; Don't drive while under the influence of any substances. Your tolerance level doesn't matter. Safety is the most important thing when it comes to enjoying yourself in these situations. Know your limits, know your environment, and know the substance. There are more cases of drugs being laced with fentanyl so make sure your sources/dispensaries are reliable. Do your own research, and know what works best for you. Be safe y'all.

[neon-green-reagent]

Buyer Beware: Cushing Curiosities

I don't normally do this. My aim is to keep things positive in this space, as much as possible. But I need to talk about the new Severin Films box set dedicated to Peter Cushing and basically beg anyone who loves Peter Cushing to not waste their money on this. When I saw they were, after multiple Christopher Lee sets, finally doing one for Cushing, I admit I got too excited and impulsively pre-ordered it. I have regretted it ever since. Okay, that's too strong. It was way too much money and time wasted on something that's about one-third good. One third is not enough, and even then I'm probably being too generous. 

The box art and presentation are beautiful. If that's all that matters to you, then you'll be delighted. The GIANT book that comes with it is also really awesome. It's informative and thorough with a lot of really cool images. I can't deny that they really went above and beyond, turning a booklet into an actual book that is well worth owning. These are a couple of the highest points you're going to experience with this set. Let's dig into the movies. 

Cone of Silence. Jesus, what a waste of fucking time. This thing was a slog. An absolute bore. If you care a whole lot about planes... Fuck, even then, you probably won't be able to sit through this, because it's so old-fashioned and drags its feet. Is this what thrillers used to be? I shudder to think. Cushing's role is small and that of a misguided villain character. He shows up to accuse a pilot of being bad at his job, gets put in his place at the end, and that's really it. I'll go ahead and make a blanket statement now that he's always good, always worth watching, but that doesn't make most of these movies worth sitting through. 

Suspect. Here's a movie that goes around and around, struggling to get to the point, trying to imitate Hitchcock but without any of the style that goes along with that. Just stationary middle shots of people talking. But don't you worry, it's not just boring! Multiple characters make cracks about how women shouldn't be working in science (Cushing's character included, which makes this an utter loser of a movie to watch for his role). The "villain" is a man with a disability who eventually kills himself, and that's treated like a GOOD OUTCOME. Some movies are old. This movie is old-minded, and it brought what was already not very engaging down to a pile of shit for me. And again, a theme you'll notice, Cushing is a side character who isn't given hardly anything to do and little screen time. Oh, and Donald Pleasence shows up and makes this face: O.O

The Man Who Finally Died. So this was at least engaging. Maybe by this point the bar was just VERY low for me, but I actually enjoyed this. It had lots of twists and turns. Despite being pre-giallo, it had a lot of those storytelling conventions, so I found myself, you know... actually watching the movie instead of struggling to stay awake. The rewatch value feels low, because once you've experienced those twists and turns, they won't shock you next time. But at least it wasn't a total wash. AND ONCE MORE CUSHING WAS BARELY IN IT, SO REGARDLESS OF THE QUALITY OF THE FILM IT WASN'T REALLY A CUSHING FILM, WAS IT? 

Sherlock Holmes. Ohhhhh God. This was not good. I managed one and a half episodes before shutting it off. I couldn't believe how shoddy everything about this was. It's a BBC Sherlock Holmes show! What happened!? I mean, I'm still not clear, but after some googling I did find out that Cushing was a fast replacement for another actor who was leaving in a huff. And the reason he left in a huff was because everything about the production truly sucked ass. It shows. And it didn't improve when Cushing came on. Everything was so clearly rushed. You can feel how everyone's just trying to remember their lines and where to stand, because they were given zero time to rehearse and prepare. I thought this would be a highlight of the set, but it's probably one of the worst aspects. At least Cushing is the main character? 

Bloodsuckers. This was great. I can finally say something was GREAT. What a relief. Cushing is still barely in it, but at least it was entertaining. It's your standard, early seventies, vampire romp. With some psychedelic weirdness thrown in toward the beginning and lots of overly sexual shenanigans. In particular, Johnny Sekka gives a great performance, and in a more modern movie, they would have made the character gay as he should have been. Also, Edward Woodward shows up for a single scene and steals the entire movie. Definitely worth watching, regardless of Cushing's ten minutes of screen time. Even though I thought the point was for it to be a CUSHING box set... 

Tender Dracula. Last but actually the best. This is an absolute ride of a movie. I loved it. My problem is this is such a crazy film, with tonal shifts galore and an unsensible plot, that I could actually see people hating it. It's a movie that is not for everyone, not by a long shot. It breaks the fourth wall, plays with stereotypes and tropes, throws out humor that sometimes lands and sometimes doesn't, and leaves your head spinning. Plenty of viewers might find the experience frustrating and not rewarding. I happened to love it and got a lot out of it, but it feels very poor for a movie like this to be probably the best thing about a shoddy box set. That's not exactly promising your customers the best they could get. BUT CUSHING IS THE STAR! Finally! One (arguably) good movie where he's the main attraction. Christ, that took long enough. 

So what do we have after all that? A set of movies that, for the most part, only tangentially involve Cushing, with his name slapped on the side of the box. Trotting out a beloved actor who isn't here to approve of what's being done for a quick buck feels pretty damn gross. Severin has made a multitude of mistakes over the years in how they've conducted their business, but this is by far the worst of them. Even with the compliments I've given this set, do not buy it. It isn't even close to being worth the price point. The fact that I spent as much as I did on this leaves me shamefaced. 

[scutchythedm]

"..Do you have any idea what happened in Solace when rock music was invented?"

"I don't-"

"Do you have any idea what you're talking about?"

"I- I'm not sure, no, I've never heard this story"

"The first electric lute was invented 350 years ago. And when it was first played, every single person, of the 225 people in attendence, regardless of gender, became pregnant. Do you understand the power that rock music yields?"

"I didn't know that-"

"Do you have any idea?"

"..I'm sorry"

"Sometimes when you talk it really pisses me off"

"I realize that, and it seems like a new-ish thing, but I'm sorry"

"So there was 225 immaculate conceptions?"

"In the same day."

"Was their dad the lute?"

"Conjecture holds that it could've been the bard themself or that it could have been the lute"

"But what did the babies look like? Did they have like big, round bodies?"

"Like a lute"

"Nooo, no, the children all looked mostly like the species of the carrier or the parent that took the pregnancy to term, except for, they had awesome MOHAWKS or like LONG hair and some of them were born with denim JEAN vests"

"No pants?"

"I mean a baby with pants is a little weird, but a baby with a vest is pretty cool. Honestly, fuck the nightmare king's crown, I wanna find one of these babies"

"Well, no, on their 18th birthday they all ascended to the upper planes"

"WHAT???"

"It's rumored that there's a 17th outer plane. Beyond the 16 of the great wheel, there is a 17th made of pure rock."

"So there's about 250 adult babies flying around on rocks?"

"Adult babies? They're just adults. Babies grow up, Gorgug, be reasonable"

"oh, I'm sorry"

"Use your HEAD"

"I'm sorry"

"USE YOUR HEAD"

"i'm sorry"

"Do they still have the denim vests?"

"I don't think they fit anymore, but.."

"Yes, is it like their skin, does it grow with them?"

"I DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO GO THROUGH EVERY PIECE OF SOLACES' INCREDIBLE LORE WITH ALL OF YOU, ALL OF THIS IS AVAILABLE IN THE LIBRARY IF YOU CHOSE TO CRACK THE BOOKS AT THE ADVENTURING ACADAMY, and if you ATTENDED BARD CLASSES, this is IN the history of bardic cirriculum. WHAT'S SO WEIRD ABOUT A BABY BORN WITH A VEST AND A MOHAWK?!?!?"

"That's not the weirdest part, it's-"

"225 IMMACULATELY CONCIEVED BABIES GREW UP AND WENT TO ROCK HEAVEN!! I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE CLEAR I CAN BE"

"It kinda sounds a little tragic too for the people who gave birth to them"

"YES. MANY OF THEM WERE NEVER OKAY AGAIN. THERE WAS NO WARNING. THERE WAS A ROCK SHOW, A BENEFIT, ON ALL OF THEIR 18TH BIRTHDAYS. DID I MENTION THAT NOT ONLY THEY WERE CONCIEVED AT THE SAME MOMENT, BUT THEY WERE BORN AT THE SAME MOMENT."

"...okay, I understand the power of rock now, but I'm still gonna bring it to the peasants."

I need you to know this was EXTREMELY shortened so go watch the original clip

I'll never be able to recreate the true hilarity of everyone talking over each other & how everyone went silent when Arthur was yelling & Emily just actually crying over it

But I couldn't help myself. I will never forget the history of rock n roll. I love bringing it up out of context to my friends, saying shit like "did you know at the first rock show, everyone who was in the audience got pregnant?"

so good

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff: The Super Mario Bros Movie

A fan shouldn't always sugarcoat it. Even if you get something you never figured you'd ever want but appreciate a lot, that doesn't mean a bias should bury any deeper feelings. What I'm getting at is Illumination's Super Mario Bros Movie can be so awesome and it was worth going to the theaters to see personally, but I can't get over the crippling flaw it has to say it was as great as I could say now. Better to be honest now than get increasingly unfulfilled later. First, though, I gotta give the props where they are due.

First, Bowser was The Best in this and I want him

For real, the animation was what I waiting for this whole time, no problems here. The film is fun. If it wasn't fun, that means Disney would've made it and it'd never come out anyways because of "creative differences". Illumination I found can make animations that are really bouncy fun, and it's best shown here. Plus the characters look incredible, DK especially, and there are moments where, in the best way, it felt like a cutscene from a video game I would want to play. Not to snipe at the Sonic movies, but this is seriously what I've wanted from video game movies since... Angry Birds 2? Like enough with the hybrid live-action crap, make a cartoon if the sourced game is about a CARTOON universe. "You mean like Ratchet & Cla-"

We do not... talk about that one.

This leads to something tricky I had in mind to discuss, and that's "faithfulness". Not long ago I watched the 1993 Mario Bros movie, a fiasco that one can argue was unfaithful to most of the source materials even with the few things they got right. Did we get something more suitable here? Well, I definitely wasn't annoyed with the fucking stupid discourse surrounding Peach's characterization and Mario's voice that's for sure. Many will cite this as having a great fuckton of references but I enjoyed the liberties they took whether or not they were references. The fact it starts out in Brooklyn made me already smile but the final act had my booty jiggle with unhinged glee. There's some corniness to it, especially with the certain musical needle drops they do, but even then it felt like they reveled in the corniness of those moments. This made me believe Nintendo and Illumination were looking to just make it excitable and enjoyable regardless of what fits where. It pains me though, knowing that there is that crippling flaw I mentioned at the beginning because while this film was fun, it went by fast. Ludicrously so... disjointedly so.

It was the Apex Cinema Speedrun, if you will

Many negative reviews claim this has a very thin plot and I honestly didn't consider that a wholly bad thing. A thin plot doesn't mean it wasn't cohesive or focused, or that there weren't any arcs to be had. The real problem comes in that certain moments don't feel earned when we barely get any time to cherish them. The pacing of this was kinda atrocious, the tight runtime truly being a detriment behind ideas for characters getting brought up well only to have shallow payoffs. Peach and Luigi especially had something about them I wanted to see more of, but before you got to see the plant blossom, they keep chugging and you're like "Ah, that's it?" They didn't need to spell everything out but let the characters breathe.

Bowser and DK felt like the exception

If this was the only movie we ever got again (knocking on wood), the fun of it all would soon subside for increased disappointment in the long run. I could say "This needs more movie" as a compliment, but that would mean I was fine with what we got. The live-action film, batshit as it was, felt consistent with everything it wanted to show and tell whether or not you saw the director's cut. That's why it became a cult hit, you remember how batshit it was. I genuinely enjoyed the film, but even with its many stand-out moments, it's gonna be hard to remember this film as much as I want to.

Except for Lumalee, I don't ever wanna forget them

I won't tout this overall as mid or "playing it safe" because they did so much right with this. When I say they stuck the landing with the Mario brothers themselves, that genuinely got to me. When we got the adventure, I relished the adventure. Like for the love of god, give me more of all this PLEASE! However, I won't give it a pass and call it perfect just because it tickled the Nintendo fan in me. Illumination's great when it comes to being in the moment, that's why I stopped hating on them, but in terms of their films having staying power this being a Mario film is carrying it hard from being a potentially forgettable one. For me, this is the movie adaptation of the Super Mario Super Show I never knew I wanted but looked forward to and felt was worth it. At the same time, my mind is fighting my heart strong knowing this Mario movie could've definitely been stronger. My final say is that it's a 6/10 movie with 10/10 moments. If you're looking for fun, this delivers no doubt, and don't let this review stop you from calling it a personal masterpiece.

What matters is that Mario finally made the Range

[forcebewitht]

i'm the same anon that requested the athletic MC for Leona!! if you'd allow me- can I give one or two more prompts? The first.. how is the entire Savanaclaw (or Heartslabyul) dorm gonna view MC after this?? because holy f u c k. The second is, I like to think Leona —and if not Leona then his entire fucking family would— just straight up asks MC if they'd marry him after hearing the story; MC says yes, that was the plan already, because they'd never risk THAT for someone they didn't wanna marry,,

Nice to see you again, anon! Glad that you asked such questions because I already had ideas on it!

Now, I'm sure one recalls the power that the deemed more.... I guess you could say "alpha" animals within a clan, whether it be hyenas, lions, whatever- would have over the rest of them? Yeah- the entirety of the Savanaclaw dorm is like t h a t. If they thought you were a weakling before, regardless of your gender, that sure as hell changed once Ruggie excitedly (and terrified) relayed the story of you literally SOARING through the air to stop their dorm leader from Overblotting like that. Like, I mean- if one of them dares to try and purposefully piss you off after that, you can guarantee that as least half of the dorm is gonna snap at them. They tried making you the vice dorm leader on the spot- but, what with Ramshackle and Grim and all, that conversation soon was cut incredibly short (RIP Ruggie's constant hard work-). Jack quietly seems to keep an eye on you after such events so as to protect you for his dorm leader, which you definitely would need in events to come with a certain aquatic dorm...

As for Heartslabyul, they had already seen your hidden power since you had taken down Ruggie when he Overblotted just before Leona- but this only solidified something...that you were truly not somebody to be messed with. Cater starts trying to ask what your workout routine is- and you have to stop him before he tries to post your feats from Leona's Overblot all over magicam. Oh yeah- he was recording. Are you kidding? Of course he was recording. You instead had to offer to do your usual leaps and soars in the cafeteria off of things instead to avoid him posting that. And- occasionally, some outside or around the various dorms. Trey genuinely.... doesn't seem to know how to react? Is it the shock? It's probably the shock. He'll just see you doing some stunts for a recording for Cater and just whisper "....And we're sure they don't have magic-" under his breath. Riddle, however, just solidifies the thought he had to experience firsthand about your abilities- you may not have magic, but that doesn't mean that you were helpless (like he might've thought originally). Deuce and yourself take up a little thing of going to work out pent up energy together...and you may or may not begin to show him how to do what you do to make him more self confident. Ace watches all the while, making his usual offhanded comments, but there's something about the glint in his eyes when he looks at you now that you know he doesn't view you the same now as he did before. Overall, the Heartslabyul dorm is just as shook as the Savanaclaw one- but theirs may be less out of a generalized respect and more out of genuine questioning now.

All Leona knows- and well....all he needs to know? His S.O. is now starting to become one of the most questioned and sought after people in the halls for their abilities. Does this boost his ego? Ohhhhhhh you surely bet it does. In fact, it boosts his ego SO much, HE is actually the one to set up some sort of call with his family just to brag about how awesome you are (TAKE THAT, FARENA)- not just to himself, but as a whole. Cheka cutely soon is heard piping up over the line something about "ARE AUNTIE AND UNCLE GONNA GET MARRIED?!?!" to which Leona was actually left flabbergasted for but a moment- but it was long enough for you to confirm the small lion cub's suspicions....but not right now. There were things to do still, after all.

Let's just say you didn't escape Leona's grip that night with a proclamation like that. ✨💕

[rays-of-fire-and-ice]

Shinji and Ikkaku for the Character bingo? :)

Character bingo

Shinji

THIS MAN! THIS BEAUTIFUL, DUMB, AMAZING MAN. It took me many years, but I have come to. Love. This. Man. One minute he's being beaten up by a girl who's basically half his height and writes everything backwards 'just because', and then the next he's a grinning badass ready to throw down with Aizen and has one of the most OP bankai in all of BLEACH...and then he goes off and gets a questionable fringe haircut (probably believing he's setting some new trend).

Like a lot of characters in the series, there's an unsaid depth to Shinji and you just end up wanting to find out more about him. When you realise the story is over though, you end up turning to fanon, and that's where you can get some awesome headcanons and theories about why Shinji turned out the way he did, what his relationships with others are like, and what he truly thinks about certain things (like Aizen).

When you sit down to think about his backstory, I don't know about you, but I just want to give the guy a hug. He thought he could keep an eye on Aizen before he did anything to endanger someone, but he ended up getting played and actually brought Aizen to the exact spot he needed to be to enact his plans. He was then thrown out of his home world, became the pseudo leader of the people he feels responsible for getting into this mess, and had to learn about human culture and find a way to live in the World of the Living. All the while he's likely blaming himself for what happened, seething about Aizen, and having to deal with a Hollow's voice trying to get him to go full carnage.

But then you see him turn all of this into a means to understand someone who had gone through a very similar experience: Momo. While Shinji had been blinded by his suspicion of Aizen, Momo was blinded by admiration for Aizen. Regardless, this use of of a blind spot and the betrayal she felt is something Shinji can most certainly relate to. So he does what no one else was doing at the time: letting her talk about Aizen. Its stated in Death Save the Strawberry that he never prevented her from talking about Aizen, and he would casually bring up Aizen in a conversation if he so happened to come up. It's in talking about Aizen and in telling her that her friends aren't leaving her behind but are waiting for her that he helps Momo recover from her trauma. He helps her back up on her feet, to become the lieutenant she once was, but with a much healthier dynamic with her captain. She's now more assertive with her feelings, expressing annoyance and exasperation towards her captain, but also able to laugh with him and know that he truly has her back. She retains some of her prior qualities (such as her willingness to throw herself into dangerous battles when her captain is harmed, like with Bambietta), but Shinji helped her develop and grow, and he saw a kindred spirit in her, and that probably helped him get back into his role as captain and motivate him to do right by the division. Hell, he apparently calls her his 'daughter' in We Do Knot Always Love You!! Who else does he think of in that way?! You can just SENSE the dynamic between these two, it was absolutely ingenious on Kubo's part to put these two together!

I love speculating on what his life was like in the World of the Living for 110 years, on his dynamic with Momo and his subordinates and the other captains, on his interests and how he runs the division...I JUST LOVE THIS MAN!

Ikkaku

To be honest, I just couldn't pick a suitable box for Ikkaku! XD I like the guy, he has his great moments (mainly with Ichigo and Yumichika) and I think he's one of the more unique character designs. His lucky dance is in my top 5 funny moments of BLEACH, and every now and then when I need a pick-me-up, I go watch a clip of the dance. However, he isn't oen of my favourites, so I don't think about him too often.

As for why I have 'genuinely. what the fuck'? Simply because of the filler episode where he makes these faces:

I cannot for the love of my think of any other BLEACH episode that has character pull faces as creepy and crazy as this. Also, the heck is happening with his hands in the final shot?

Thanks for sending these in! :D

[crazy56u]

Okay, shopping cart accident to one side, I’m home now. Let’s go.

Tonight, on a very special “Quantum Leap”, we remind you that 2012 was about 11 years ago.

Oh fucking God, Party Rock Anthem…

Okay, it looked like Ben punched her to the floor.

“You love basketball.” Interesting time to pint that out.

“Ben, call it a hunch, but I think you have to save basketball.”

“Amanda, if you don’t rest your ankle, I’m banning you from basketball.”

You didn’t have to cue Party Rock Anthem back up, guys…

Gia should’ve done a Space Jam, but she got the job done regardless.

Now Ben, as you can tell, you are not leaping yet, so welcome to the long haul.

Ah, we’re getting right into the transphobia, delightful.

“And she’s your daughter.” She just called Ben “Dad”, no fucking shit.

I too sadly stare at high school trophies when confronted with dickhead teenagers yelling at my daughter.

In-fighting amongst the team, and Ben being scolded by the principal for having his trans daughter play basketball, we are starting off on a cheery fucking note…

“Look, my daughter can fucking grow a new ankle all I fucking care, you are the asshole here, not me!”

Calling it: In 8 years time, Amanda’s mom becomes a full blown Karen. I can technically say that since “Karen” didn’t enter the public consciousness until 2020, she doesn’t count yet in 2012.

Well, I commend Gia for trying to make light of a shit situation.

Also, dollars to donuts the principal was the one to make her use the janitor’s closet as a changing room.

Why the fuck would they use a real helicopter for “Miss Saigon”? You remember what happened with “Twilight Zone: The Movie”, right?

Ben already changed history, neat.

So, Ben has to make sure Gia has to not run away, got it. How many transphobes does he need to beat up to make this happen? Can that be the episode?

Moral of the Story: Being an ally is for scrubs, being an accomplice gets shit done.

Why am I convinced this bar is in Texas?

Also, is Janis still at the Project, or was she allowed to leave after saying a name?

Dottie, you are clearly lying about not knowing Ben, why are you lying to Ernie Hudson?

Dottie is such a sick-ass poet, the government hates her. That’s awesome.

So, while Ben is fighting transphobia in 2012, Magic and Jenn are attending a poetry slam in Not Texas.

March 13th, the scariest March. So, watch as it turns out that day was actually super bad for Dottie, and I become an asshole.

“Management here is sus.” Among Us has done a lot of fucking damage to society.

[My phone wanted to autocorrect “damage” to “Sam anger”, just FYI.]

If only “Angry Birds” was still a good game in 2023…

“I can’t believe you put her in the game without giving me a head’s up first!” It was the last 30 seconds, and Amanda had a shit ankle, stop trying to make Ben the bad guy here!

“Don’t make me the enemy, I’m already doing that to you!”

Okay, I count that as confirmation of my “Amanda’s mom becomes a Karen” theory.

I think you need to block that number, ma’am.

“I-I didn’t think-” “That’s right. You didn’t think.” Ma’am, remember how you told Ben to not make you the enemy? Yeah, that’s a two-way street.

Ma’am, I am willing to bet Gia’s going to regionals, I hope you are prepared for that.

I love how Ben indirectly asked “Why couldn’t this episode just be basketball?”

“They banned trans people in the military?” Oh, I wish to fucking God they were allowed to directly shit on Trump here…

“The point is, we saw it coming, and we[…] didn’t say anything.” A tale as old as time.

I love it when my wholesome time travel show openly admits it wants to fix the bullshit of 2017, but can’t yet.

“[soft cheerful music]” is not a caption this episode deserves.

I love how the episode is blatantly making this a wholesome family moment to set the audience up for more bullshit at that car wash. I saw the trailer.

I fucking felt myself die hearing Ben say “Swag”. Certain things were left behind in the 2010s for a fucking reason.

And now there’s a debate between Twilight and Hunger Games. I am fucking old.

“Bella is totally useless without Edward or Jacob.” Show, I did not fucking sign up for debates about the lore of Twilight, stop this.

“Who needs The Hunger Games if you got high school, am I right?” Mic drop.

And now the episode enters hardcore “This is the fucking moral” mode.

Nothing like a dance party to make life better.

Okay, legitimate question: How much of this speech was written, and how much of this is ad-libbed from personal experience?

Okay, time for the fun car wash scene set to Carly Rae Jepson, clearly things will not get bad!

Oh goody, Amanda’s mom is also here, I already do not have high hopes!

[Fun fact: I dabbled in car washing as a kid one summer. That lasted only a week; when I tried washing my sister’s car, she got annoyed that I didn’t do a good job, and when she tried doing it herself, she sprayed me in the face with the hose out of anger. That’s why I don’t wash cars anymore.]

“Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s tonal whiplash, I guess sorry, maybe.”

Ohhhhhhh, I hope that wasn’t the principal’s car…

…so, of course it was actually Amanda’s mom’s car…

Ben is getting fed up with this mom, and I agree with him.

Boy, I already know what the principal has in mind for “protecting girl’s basketball”, and I already am mad.

Ben is legitimately knocking some skulls to protect Gia. Father of the year.

“Okay, let me tell you a story. It’s about me.”

“Dad, I bet it sucked for Ben Song…” “You don’t know the fucking half of it.”

“And every time I smell Febreze-“ Holy fucking tonal shift, Batman.

“She called it loneliness, but I called it toast.” …you were having a stroke?

Magic is having a religious experience in this poetry slam.

I love how she didn’t even say a name, and yet Amanda’s mom instantly owned up to being the complainer. No fucking subtlety.

Amanda, why are trying to be cordial at this point, your mom is currently making shit worse, and both you and Gia know this.

Okay, fuck it. She’s a full-blown Karen now. The evolution is complete.

Please, please let her slap the shit out of Amanda’s mom…

Amanda, there is only one reason why you would say it would be different. You know that, right?

I love how the principal has just decided to cowtow to Amanda’s bitch-ass mom.

I now really fucking hate the principal. Way to fucking go, you made shit worse!

And now Gia’s going to run away! Good job all around!

“This isn’t my first runaway kid, let me tell you about an earthquake in ‘89 sometime.”

Maybe basketball will help fix everything…

Look, Gia, if it makes you feel better, there’s a decent chance karma is going to bite Principal Kruger and Amanda’s mom both in the ass hard.

“Why don’t you grownups figure out how to make school safe for everyone?!” Gia? Hi. I’m from 2023. We’re still waiting for that question to be answered…

Ben has indirectly said the principal can go fuck herself.

Okay, cool, Amanda has decided to stop giving a shit about her mom.

“You’re really going to put your job on the line for this stunt?” “Go fuck yourself, ma’am, I’m fucking Ben Song.”

“What exactly do you think you’re going to achieve with this?” “Well, ma’am, I think we’re about to go to regionals.” I honest to God wish Ben flipped her off after saying that. You know for a fact he wanted to.

Okay, time for the most important game of basketball all episode.

The only cheaters I see are all the assholes holding up the shitty fucking signs trying to psyche Gia out.

That was Ben’s “Remember the Titans” speech.

I love how everyone at the Project is getting in on the action.

And Ian goes into the Imaging Chamber.

“Look, the principal wanted me to make you pull your daughter, but I ain’t her fucking lackey. Instead, I just want to tell you good luck, we’re all counting on you.”

Yeah, get fucked, society, the Union saves the day yet again!

Annnnnnd I was wondering when Katy Perry would poke her head into the door…

I love how Ben leapt there.

Meanwhile, back at the poetry slam.

“Dottie, you got Quantum Leaped.”

So, I guess Ian’s the secret leaper.

Meanwhile, Hell’s Kitchen.

“Awesome! I get to be a cook! Nothing bad can happen!”

[On an unrelated note, the promo revealed that the next episode involves the restaurant burning down that same day.]

All in all, I am now doubly upset I couldn’t watch this live. And that’s not even factoring in there’s another three week gap.

Also, my pet theory is that Principal Kroger gets sacked soon after that game.

[cienie-isengardu]

"I know we couldn't leave her in the asylum," Ruu said, "but did anyone think how the poor woman would feel about being surrounded by strange men in Mando armor?" "But we're not the Death Watch," Besany said. She'd fallen into the role of alpha female by virtue of being Ordo's wife. "We're not the ones who killed her family." - Imperial Commando: 501st

This quote is one of the reasons why the entire Republic Commando book series makes me so furious when I’m not focused on Vau, Mird, Deltas or Atin. The female characters, while having a lot of potential to develop, are ultimately not treated with respect by the narrative or even by some male characters, and it is not about an existing conflict of interest that has arisen between them. I mean the moments where Besany is described as Alpha Female (whatever the hell that is supposed to mean in alleged gender neutral mandalorian society) leading other women when men aren't around. Not because, as a former agent of the Republic Treasury Audit Division, she had the appropriate abilities to do so, such as keeping a cool head in difficult situations (established in TZ and TC), self-confidence or even ordinary kindness when she took someone under her wing, so that this person would feel accepted / safe in a new - not always friendly - environment (as in the case of Corr). Instead, she is called the Alpha Female and is the leader "by virtue of being Ordo's wife". Which, excuse me, is shitty reason as hell. Disrespectful toward her as a person and toward other women whose supposed role and worth is now based on their husbands' social hierarchy? Like what, Laseema wouldn’t be a good leader in times of need because Atin is not the favorite son of Skirata? Or Etain, if she survived, because of Darman’s position in Kal’s list of fav boys?  That is the logic of the narrative?

(I mean, there is a chance I'm reading it wrongly, and Besany simply felt she need take charge at what is happening as a way to help Ordo, as the gesture of sharing the burden of responsibility but the text doesn't frame it that way for me.)

And what is even more irking? The whole narrative oh, she is the Alpha Female! Look how awesome she is, when being put in charge! But then never even seen anywhere truly close the "war council" that makes all vital decisions? You know, the one mentioned by book as "The usual war council was assembled-Skirata, Vau, Gilamar, Ordo's brothers, and Jusik." Sure, so great fucking Alpha Female, the queen of kitchen or whatever she is doing now in between the rare moments when IC: 501st remember she exist still. Riiiight.

(Just to be clear, Skirata, Vau and Gilamar, as the Mando veterans and the most experienced men make perfect sense and in truth, a lot of major issues were usually discussed/argued between Kal and Walon first and foremost, with input from Ordo and Jusik. But their decisions were affecting all the members of the clan, especially in regard to Jedi. But if being Ordo’s wife by virtue puts her in charge - or demands from her to act as leader, then her lack there is really disturbing. Even Ruu Skirata talked more about mandalorian politics with her dad than Besany doing anything more prominent than being in the kitchen and watching when boys played? I admit, I may be missing something important so feel free to correct me as I’m lately doing research focused mainly at Vau and his “kids” (including Mird) so Besanny could slip away from my memory. But regardless I think my point will still stand, as women of RepCom deserve better than being gutted out of their previous established traits and sadly turned into mindless wives or waiting to be married with another clone / Jusik (don’t even let me start about Arla Fett 😡)

[samuraiko]

Reading your imodna betting vignette, and realized that the hells doing their best to wingman for the two of them in their own unique way so would be really cute as a vignette

Again, so sorry for the delay in responding to vignette requests (see my last one for explanations). And I'm glad you enjoyed "Wanna Bet?"! :D

"A Little Friendly Advice"

Ashton and Orym were relaxing on the deck of the Silver Sun as they headed toward Yios. A throaty laugh echoed down from the poop deck above, and they looked up to see Imogen and Laudna giggling about something.

"Good to see that things are looking up for some people," Ashton said wryly.

"Oh yeah, that reminds me..." Orym lightly poked Ashton in the ribs. "You owe me ten gold."

"For what?"

"Our bet... Imogen said it first."

Ashton frowned for a second, and then gave a rather lopsided grin. "Yep, you're right." He reached into his money pouch and pulled out ten gold, which he handed to the halfling. "But that's a bet I don't mind losing."

"I know what you mean," Orym replied, pocketing the gold. "As long as they're happy together, that's the important thing."

"Question is if they're gonna take the next steps or not." Ashton leaned against the railing and looked thoughtful. "It's kind of a tossup right now, really. Either they embrace the idea of going for it because they nearly lost her once... 'make haste while the sun shines' and all that shit. Or they're gonna wuss out because they're afraid of being hurt like that again if something happens. Which, because it's us, it likely fucking will."

Orym was quiet for a while, watching the clouds go by while his thoughts were far away. "What would you do, Ash? If you were in their position?"

"Never been in love before," the earth genasi said bluntly. "But I care. I care a fucking lot. So based just on caring? I'd fucking go for it. If I'm gonna be miserable afterward regardless, I'd rather be miserable having had some awesome times beforehand."

The halfling gave him a rather wistful, sad smile. "Yeah, I know how that goes."

Ashton rested a hand on Orym's shoulder and squeezed it hard. "I know you do. That's why I can talk to you like this and not some of the rest."

"But what about them?" Orym waved a hand vaguely in the direction of Imogen and Laudna. "Do we help them along?"

"On the fence about that one, to be honest. I don't have the best track record when it comes to relationships, but fuck knows I have no problem being there if Laudna needs to talk to someone."

"You two do have your own kind of close," Orym commented. "Different, but still close. And that's good."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You gonna help out Laudna or Imogen? I know they're both important to you, but you seem to get along better with Imogen in your own way."

"Well, if she wants to talk to me, I'm always willing to listen. But she's... not always great about advice. She gets kind of headstrong that way." He shrugged and went back to looking off into the distance. "What about the rest of the gang?"

"FCG doesn't exactly give the best romantic advice, Fearne would just probably shove them in a room at an inn and tell them to have at it, and Chetney would probably offer to show them how it's done by practicing in front of them with Fearne."

Orym choked on his laughter, and Ashton had to pound him on his back until Orym could get his breath back.

[medea10]

My Review of Chainsaw Man

…Do I even need to say how I got into this? Here’s an exaggerated recap of nearly every manga reader with a penis ever since an adaptation was announced.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! THIS IS GOING TO BE THE MOST AWESOME FUCKING ANIME EVER! THIS IS THE BEST THING STUDIO MAPPA HAS EVER DONE! EAT SHIT ATTACK ON TITAN! WATCH IT! WATCH IT! LOOK AT THIS ANIMATION! IT’S GOING TO BEAT DEMON SLAYER AND SPY X FAMILY!”

And Crunchyroll was no better! They spent the last two months prior to the premier whoring it out saying, “Hey, come to our site, we have Chainsaw Man! Fuck Bleach, we’re dumping it in the trash. That shit ain’t been hot since 2005.” Or something along the lines! I mean, the fall anime season was just nothing but a raging dick-fest between the Bleach sequel and this bro with a chainsaw on his head. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here waving my Anya Forger flag. Regardless of this explosion of shounen shit, I will watch the Bleach sequel and NOT give it a review, I will continue to watch Spy x Family, and I will give this Chainsaw Man a try.

Denji is in never-ending, crippling debt. Thanks to his dead deadbeat father, Denji has to carry his father’s burden by giving the yakuza everything. Even after selling an eyeball, several internal organs, and even one of his nuts, it’s still not enough to get out of debt. Denji works for the yakuza by killing devils. But Denji isn’t alone as he has a pet devil to help him. Pochita has a chainsaw in his head and during missions, assists Denji in killing his objectives. Yep, just a boy and his pet devil. But he has high hopes for him and his buddy like meeting a girl, eating bread with jam on it, and such.

Give the boy a break, if you were in Denji’s shoes you would dream about eating bread with jam too. However, Denji’s services for the yakuza came to a grinding halt as he is no longer needed. A devil with a contract to the yakuza kills Denji. Hey, don’t worry! This is only the first episode. Denji’s pet devil Pochita ends up saving his life. Pochita merges with Denji’s corpse, giving him an unbelievable new power. Denji wakes up with his body back in tact and a cord sticking out of his chest.

When he pulls it, his body transforms to…well, a chainsaw man. Hence the name of this anime! Denji’s head and arms all have chainsaws. Let’s just say that Denji made mincemeat out of those that tried killing him.

At daybreak, official devil hunters came upon the grizzly scene full of dead devils, zombies, and yakuza members. They came upon Denji as he was turning from his chainsaw form. He is offered to come and work for the Public Safety Bureau. He has steady employment, a girl to feed him bread and jam, plus now that the yakuza is dead, his debt should be wiped clear. Under the guidance of the bureau leader Makima, she gives Denji a second chance at life. However, Denji’s new-found power could spell trouble later on as he is now part devil. But Makima has a habit of adding special folks to her roster. This includes a fiend named Power and a human named Aki who has contracts with a fox devil.

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: Crunchyroll was preparing for this moment. I think they licensed this anime months in advance. Only heavily anticipated animes such as this gets an announcement of an English dub weeks prior to the world premier of the actual series. That’s how special Chainsaw Man was. First, I will discuss the sub. Holy shit, imagine my shock to learn that Denji’s voice was brand-new. This is his very first anime, his debut to the anime world. And clap, clap, clap my good sir! Listening to you in the first episode, I could have sworn I was hearing Nobuhiko Okamoto. When you hear a psychotic laugh before someone dies, you automatically think of Okamoto. That’s how good this new guy was at playing Denji. As for the dub, I only watched a little bit of it and yeah, it’s fine. Good job, y’all! Here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

JAPANESE CAST: *Denji is played by Kikunosuke Toya

*Pochita is played by Shiori Izawa (known for Nanachi on Made in Abyss, Kanata on Demon Slayer, Sakura on Miss Nagatoro, and Mayumi on Silver Spoon)

*Makima is played by Tomori Kusunoki (known for LLENN on SAO: GGO, Setsuna on Love Live Nijigasaki, Neiru on Wonder Egg Priority, Misha on Misfit of Demon King Academy, and Futaba on My Senpai is Annoying)

*Aki is played by Shougo Sakata

*Power is played by Ai Fairouz (known for Jolyne on Jojo’s Pt. 6, Young Mikey on Tokyo Revengers, and Takechiyo on Yashahime)

ENGLISH CAST: *Denji is played by Ryan Colt Levy (known for Squalo on Jojo’s Pt. 5 and Naruse on Komi-san)

*Pochita is played by Lindsay Seidel (known for Nagisa on Assassination Classroom, Eris on Mushoku Tensei, Ruka on Steins;Gate, Nejire on My Hero Academia, Romeo on Fairy Tail, and Kanata on Love Live Nijigasaki)

*Makima is played by Suzie Yeung (known for Milize on 86, Ayumu on Love Live Nijigasaki, Sumi on Rent-A-Girlfriend, Nokoko on Komi-san, and Koito on Wonder Egg Priority)

*Aki is played by Reagan Murdock

*Power is played by Sarah Wiedenheft (known for Tohru on Miss Kobayashi, Ruby on Love Live Sunshine, Charmy on Black Clover, Lily on Zombieland Saga, Zeno on DB Super, and Yonebayashi on Tokyo Ghoul :re)

SHIPPING: Denji is a simple man. He’s never experienced any of the finer things in life, but has ambitions that involve getting his first things in life. And yes, that includes kissing a woman, feeling up a woman, and dare I say go all the way with a woman? Halfway into this series, Denji has experienced almost all of that…sorta. Denji’s first feel-up session involved fake-o padded breasts. And the less said about his first kiss, the better my stomach will feel. Denji has pretty much had a thing for Makima from the moment he met her. But you’ve gotta remember that this is anime. Let’s tack on a couple more women (not you Kobeni). So…who do we choose here? The sadistic love at first sight woman, the psycho, or the sloppy drunk?

First of all, I don’t consider Power to be in the running. Power’s the kind of girl who doesn’t flush her shit down the toilet and doesn’t bathe. Denji’s got standards and you’ve gotta remember that up to this point, Denji ate anything including cigarette butts. So Power is gross! I keep going back and forth when it comes to Makima. Not just when it comes to her and Denji, but just her character in general. Unless I get convincing information from the manga, I’m standing by that. And then we get to Himeno!

I didn’t think she was that crazy until she had one too many drinks in that episode. Denji’s first kiss was nothing but memorable and not in the good way. Himeno barfed in his mouth. Okay, let’s get that out of the way. Hence, why I have Crabman blocking the money-shot. That was the gross part of this segment. I don’t care how many bloody massacres I see; I will always cover my eyes at barf scenes. Makima made things better for Denji as he got his first indirect kiss from her through a lollipop. And then Denji was almost sexually violated by Himeno. This girl, for real yo! Actually, Himeno does have her eyes on someone and it’s Aki. Gee, wouldn’t it suck if this couldn’t get a happy ending?

Stay tuned.

REFERENCES: Did everyone catch all of the pop media, movie, television, and anime references that were shown in the opening sequence? Well sir, if you managed to put in references from The Big Lebowski, Reservoir Dogs, and Pulp Fiction, you deserve some sort of praise. I know there’s more references in the theme song like No Country for Old Men, Neon Genesis Evangelion, and that hunk o’ shit Fight Club (yeah, I said it), but those three are the first that popped out at me. I’m sure you can find side-by-side comparisons somewhere on the internet.

TRANSLATION MISHAP: Oh Crunchyroll, what are you doing with your subs?

In episode 11, there’s a scene where Aki is face-to-face with the future devil. Aki’s about to make a contract with him. The future devil then tells Aki that he can see how Aki will die and says that his death, “will fucking rule”. In the manga, the line is, “you’re going to die in the worst possible way”. I honestly took this change as the devil being really into gory deaths that he takes pleasure in the way Aki is going to die. But after a few moments thinking about it more, yeah, this scene could have been changed differently.

ENDING: We slowly notice that there are a lot of devils out for Denji in general. Particularly, it’s the Gun Devil. Does this have to do with the slaughter-fest from episode 1 when Denji decapitated a slew of devils and that one asshole who put a hit on him to protect his life? Quite possibly! A katana devil, a girl named Akane with a snake devil, and their associates tried to kidnap Denji and, in the process, tried to take out the rest of that division of the public safety bureau. Power, Aki, and Kobeni seemed to survive somehow. Makima, who was thought to have been shot to death is actually not dead. It gets scarier from here. Makima unleashes her power. She manages to kill off death row inmates and most of the guys that kidnapped Denji at the same time. The latter exploded.

It's been a while since I saw bodies just kinda explode. I sure hope no one was looking over my shoulder while I was watching this episode at work. In the end, Makima taught the mafia the meaning of “fuck around and find out”. Unfortunately, there were some casualties within Division 4, including Himeno. Meanwhile, Aki is recovering from his injuries and is being watched over by the Kyoto branch. Aki ends up gaining another power once out of the hospital in hopes of ending this infamous gun devil (and a stark warning about his own death). Aki’s other devil contract seems to not be working. I feel like I should mention that. As for Power and Denji, Makima decided to put them under the supervision of a bad mother fucker.

I call him that for the simple reason that the first time we see this guy is in the opening theme with that Pulp Fiction reference. Kishibe is going to be in charge of this special division and he’s going to put Denji and Power through hell and back.

Leading up to the finale, we’re introduced to more characters that are shown in the opening theme I’m sure you’ve all watched the video a million times because the OP is a banger. In some moments, we’re introduced to Angel Devil and Violence Fiend. But we don’t see much of them after that. Meanwhile, Makima is at it again. Except this time, meeting with the mafia face-to-face. And Aki finds himself in deep trouble as he was being choked by Akane and the snake devil. Thankfully, Aki was able to get out of this and detain Akane. Guess we won’t see this special death of Aki’s just yet. Akane on the other hand was decapitated while going in for interrogation. Suicide? Homicide? Who knows?!

Denji comes face-to-face with Katana Man. Yes, he’s still very angry that Denji killed his grandfather. And that’s why this sword demon made a pact with the gun devil. In Denji’s defense, he was up against the wall when he was face-to-face against the Yakuza and a bunch of zombies. Eat or be eaten and all that shit. Their last fight didn’t end well for Denji. This time, Denji came in swinging and kicking with surprise chainsaws. They didn’t kill Katana bro. Denji tied him up so the division can take it from there. But not before Denji and Aki exact a little revenge on Himeno’s murderer. Um…Hmm…

Alexa, play Thugnificant’s Stop Em’ in the Nuts.

We end with some unanswered questions, Makima being creepy-ass cryptic, a door with Pochita on the other side warning Denji to not come in, and a cute dinner moment between Denji, Power, and Aki. All I can say is that I hope this door thing doesn’t drag on for five years like Attack on Titan with it’s freakin’ basement plot point. Okay, the end!

I liked this anime. I can understand the hype surrounding this anime as this was talked about literally six months before the debut. Okay hypers, you were right. While it does start off almost like a typical shounen anime, it does step away from many of those tropes. I guess I can thank the Chainsaw Man fandom.

…

Well, excuse me while I add another fandom to the “Toxic AF” fandom list. What the fuck, guys? No, seriously…what the fuck is wrong with you? Oh hell no, you entitled fucks are not demanding a reboot to an anime that just finished airing. An anime that only has 12 episodes to its name! An anime where the animators put their hearts and souls into this to give you rabbid ass-baboons this anime. You are literally going to be whiny, little babies. Get the fuck over it! Talk to a Berserk fan and then sit the fuck down. Selfish-ass mother fuckers, I swear to God! Tired of this shit!

Look, I’m not going to sit here and say that this anime is the greatest gift from God because it isn’t that. Not yet anyways. There’s only so much an anime of this caliber can give in just 12 episodes. While it was cryptic near the end with the introduction of several characters and Makima’s true power, I thought this was a solid first season. And as for those complaining about the animation, yes, I can see some issues there. But it wasn’t that bad. I think people just find anything to complain about. They did the same thing with part of the final season to Attack on Titan. CG can be a harsh mistress. Studio MAPPA is doing their best. They are on severe deadlines, working on major shows like this and Attack on Titan, and a tinier fanbase eagerly awaiting them to give us news on Yuri on Ice. With each passing year, they are improving with the anime they put out. And that was showcased beautifully here. I praise the animators here. Bravo! And fuck the surly fanbase!

I’m giving a full recommendation for this anime and a middle finger to anyone who signed that fucking petition. This is why we can’t enjoy nice things. This is why we can’t have nice things! YOU ASSHOLES! And if this shit is the reason I never see a season two to Chainsaw Man, fuck you to infinity and beyond, surly fanbase. But judge Chainsaw Man for yourself. I’m a simple person that can find a charm to just about anything. I just happened to like this anime and it was one of my favorites to come out in 2022.

If you would like to watch Chainsaw Man, Hulu and Crunchyroll have the series available to watch.