#but seriously I ship everyone x therapy

[purplerakath]

MiyagiDo Karate and Protagonist Morality

So when I watched the first two seasons this bothered me and then last weekend I watched everything else (thus far)... and this still bothered me. So here we are.

Spoilers for all five released seasons of Cobra Kai (although I'll mainly be talking about Demetri, Sam, Danny, and Hawk).

Before I get started...

As much as I'm criticizing the writing of these characters, I don't think the characters are bad, or hate the show. I just think more could be done with them, or in the case of Sam they could have started the ball rolling sooner and she could be a better character than she is.

Except Demetri, they really screwed the pooch on his writing.

Protagonist Morality

So I guess I should explain this term. Protagonist morality is where a show doesn't question the behavior of it's protagonists, assuming that whatever action they've taken is morally correct (for the setting). In a video game, you know all those unguarded chests full of stuff for you. The ones all across the countryside and in towns and often people's houses? The ones you can loot freely and nobody cares or is concerned with all the robbery you're doing?

That's protagonist morality. If the game labels you a thief and you get run out of public spaces for your actions, then the game is labeling your actions as maybe less than a paragon of virtue, and giving you reason to think about it. (Then you do it anyway because it's really nice loot.)

So what about the ACTUAL protagonists?

Johnny, Miguel, and Robby are questioned and judged by the narrative constantly. They generally do things right for them, but not universally seen as correct. And generally the narrative is about them moving forward and making less questionable calls.

The whole point of the start of S2 is that Johnny realizes "No Mercy" is a bad motto, because it just gets people hurt, and changes his teachings to match this bit of character growth. Characters backslide, Johnny and Robby both crash spectacularly at the start of Season 3. Each needs to dig themselves out of the hole their in all through Season 3 (Johnny) and 5 (Robby).

So the show never treats them as not needing growth, as the show is all about their growth.

Daniel

Danny is a hyper-judgmental asshole due to unresolved trauma from his youth and it's a problem. But also the show would be a lot less interesting if he worked through all of this in a timely fashion. Primarily the issue is his reaction to "Cobra Kai" just being back at all, and how he never once gets pushed to question if Cobra Kai in Johnny's hands changed.

Some of this is miscommunication, which is the cornerstone of the Unresolved sexual Karate Tension with Johnny. But his absolute refusal to see good in Cobra Kai had a direct hand in breaking up Sam and Miguel in Season 1 and Danny... came out of it believing he was right.

And when he goes out of his way to try and destroy the S1-2 era of Cobra Kai, the narrative never once actively punishes him for his prejudice. He's also never forced to face why he's like this. It's kind of shit but very much a plot lodestone.

Sam

Like her father, Sam often rushes to a moral judgement on bad info and never goes back. Even if she's wrong. So much of her Season 1 behavior is swept under a rug so that other characters (Kyler, Yaz, Miguel) can be her personal villain. And the worst being Season 2 with Tory.

Sam rushed to 'all Cobras are evil' while in a plot trying to fix her friendship with her best friend, she instigated things with Tory, and blamed Tory for all of it without having to think about why she's following her father so readily. Of course, with the end of Season 2 it didn't matter what her behavior was prior, she had every justification to treat Tory as her own personal satan.

Fortunately for me, and everyone else who likes Sam, most of the later seasons focus real hard on having her grow as a person. Maybe not facing all of her personal failings, but she does grow past them in respectable ways. And while her behavior toward Tory is... still bad, Tory is her personal anxiety attack she's allowed it now. (Unlike someone else.)

She also unpacks some of the prejudice she learned from her dad. Sneaking off behind his back to learn Eagle Fang and figure out before Father Dearest that balance is better than pigheaded arrogance of your own greatness. Leading to the Season 4 finale and her mixed styles.

Demetri Hawk

Before I rant about Demetri, I need to explain why Hawk's narrative, regardless of his failures, is better. Eli starts the show with a clearly defined failing (confidence and courage), focuses hard on overcoming it (through Cobra Kai Karate), and turns him into someone new.

That new person is a loud abrasive asshole, but it's a growth arc.

When Hawk behaves badly, it's treated as a start of darkness. As he grows to love having the power his weaker nerdy self lacked. His acts of vengeance make sense as the flexing of power he's never had before. To the point he becomes the sort of bully he feared. His reactions are all overreactions and that's good writing. You understand why he beats Kyler's flunky to a bloody pulp, it's cathartic but also framed as an act of pure violence and destruction. He needs to live in his anger, his violence, listening to the whispers Kreese offers.

Season 3 is Hawk struggling to choose between good and evil, and in the end he chooses good. Leading him on the path toward balance and being better than either side of him before. Honestly of every character in the show his path is the best defined.

Now Demetri

Demetri is a anxious pessimistic leech. He feels he'll fail before he starts, and therefore doesn't try. He rides the coattails of his friends as they become cool and popular and Hawk was right to call him out. But rather than investigate that, he becomes the target of Hawk's new villain arc, and rushes to the arms of MiyagoDo.

Where he proceeds to never actually face who he was, and just... get to be a cool martial artist with a hot girlfriend as the show sweeps his negative traits under a rug and never touches them.

The narrative never confronts how 'it's fine for me to reap the benefits of your hard work' (start of season 2) or 'I can humiliate my best friend by spilling all his secrets then hide behind my badass martial artist friends' (late season 2) were bad calls, because at the end of the season he just... gets to beat up Hawk to establish the full defeat of Johnny's Cobra Kai.

Directly into Season 3 where he's just as aggressive and antagonistic as Sam is, while neither is treated as being 'over the line' by the narrative. Which is all before Hawk breaks Demetri's arm, meaning he doesn't have the extant trauma reason Sam has.

By Season 5 Demetri is a pretty cool person, but as there's no actual focus on how he got there, it feels cheap. Which really sucks.

What I'd Write-

I don't want to rewrite the whole show, and that makes Danny hard to fix. As so much of him is that paranoia of Cobra Kai. Like- best I could ask for is him going to therapy and trying to work past it (and just being bad at it).

Sam the easy answer is Aisha not forgiving her (at least during S1-2). Where Sam tries to get Aisha back, but every time she either says something about Cobra Kai, or Miguel, or Tory and Aisha points out Sam hasn't given any of them a fair shot, and that Sam has no room to talk after dating Kyler and being Yaz's friend.

Bonus points if Sam also gets taken to task for her going after Tory when Tory was working. Because Amanda already got Tory fired once, but she felt bad about it.

Demetri has a similar route of 'best friend does not forget.' A simple 'why should I ever trust you again' after Moon's party would go a long way to rub Demetri's face in what he did, how he was as bad as everyone who made fun of Hawk's lip at school. How Demetri, for one brief moment, was worse than Kyler.

I want all the characters to either get the kind of care in how they change direction that Miguel has, and failing that being absolutely perfect like Devon (the only person to join Silver's Cobra Kai and not turn evil).

[poweringthroughthis]

love in three acts | kim mingyu, wong yukhei

nsfw, mdni (ftm reader)

ship: wong yukhei (lucas) x male reader, kim mingyu x male reader

(requested!)

desc: forced to act like only friends in public, (name) is sick and tired of his boyfriend's ignorance. Maybe another hot guy what it'll take to set his boyfriend straight and appreciate (name) more.

warnings: feminization, reader's genitals are referred to as pussy/tits, dirty talk, sweat, strength kink, muscle worship/kink, voyeurism, cross-dressing, manhandling, pussy slapping, pussy eating, spanking, breastplay, vaginal fingering, vaginal s*x

act i.

Life is not what it is portrayed to be in cinema. (name) learned as much now that he was well into his 4th semester of college. Society has romanticized the college experience to such an extent that one dives in, expecting alcohol, parties and an enchanting love life to be the frontrunners, while in actuality, it is assignments, exams and stressful days filling the void most of the times.

Nothing changes if you don't make it happen yourself. Your dream life doesn't manifest one day magically, and your love life doesn't become one for the books by itself either. You need to start living the way you want to. That, is the only viable form of happiness in today's world. At least that's what (name) taught himself during one of his loneliest nights, freshman year, which culminated with a self-therapy session.

Then the nerdiest, biggest pushover of a guy, (name) was now a changed man. He had the biggest glow-up: his slender curves, thick thighs and pretty eyes, putting everyone's wildest dreams to shame in comparison. He embraced his true self fearlessly, taking control of his life and living the way he wanted to. He had definitely been happier ever since then, but he believed it did little to better his dating life as he was still boyfriend to a man seemingly afraid to love him in public.

Wong Yukhei is a lot of things, but inherently smart, he is not. Which is why he doesn't understand why his boyfriend is upset with him right now. "W-what do you mean?"

"Seriously Lucas? We've been over this before. Every time I as much as I lean into you in public, you go off to do something else with your friends. It's like we're strangers in public." (name) explained, perplexed.

"It's not like that! You know I love you. It's jus-just.." Honestly, Lucas didn't know himself why he'd been subconsciously dodging his boyfriend's advances while they were out. It's not like he never indulged in PDA with his previous partners. Maybe he'd been getting too caught up with his friends that he unintentionally neglected his boyfriend each time they were in the public eye.

"You know what? I need to go. Come find me when you have an answer. " (name) scoffed dejectedly, storming out of the empty classroom, leaving the flabbergasted giant behind. (name) started wondering if he wasn't attractive enough for Lucas.

If only he knew how wrong that assumption was. Because if that was the case, he wouldn't have the hunkiest man to ever exist (besides his own boyfriend), eye-fucking him from behind. The large man traced (name)'s every movement with great intensity: the way his hips swayed as he walked quickly, the way his skirt rode up just enough to show his supple thighs, even the way his ass looked perfect as he bent down to pick up his fallen stationery.

Kim Mingyu was a lot of things. And like every other guy, being inexplicably horny at the sight of a pretty boy, was one of them. he snapped out of his daze, dashing to (name)'s side, helping pick up his belongings from the floor, without failing to catch a peek of his bra underneath the dress. needless to say, he had to physically restrain himself from popping a boner then and there.

"Hey, you okay? Looking a little sad there" he offered his charming smile, making (name) look up as he straightened himself. His gaze fell on the handsome man's huge biceps, that flexed under the weight of his stack of books, threatening to rip his half-sleeved tee that was already too tight for his massive chest. It was hard not to, when a 6 ft hunk was sizing up his body shamelessly.

"I'm Mingyu. I'm in this faculty too. 3rd year"

"(name). 2nd year." Offered he, politely.

"Boyfriend problems?" Mingyu inquired, (name) taken aback. "Just guessing", he clarified, knowing fully well he eavesdropped into the couple's conversation earlier. What? He just wanted to see for himself who bagged this hot specimen before he could. Before (name) could respond, Mingyu moved closer.

"I won't pry into your personal life, but tell you what. Any man that doesn't appreciate you enough, is a loser."

He ran his hands all over (name)'s curves, finally slipping underneath his skirt to grope his ass and lift one of (name)'s legs against his groin, making the boy gasp.

"Someone who loves the beauty that you are, y'feel me?" His breath fanned over (name)'s face, the boy feeling 50 emotions at once.

"I,I shou-"

"Hey! What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" the duo turned towards the source of the voice: (name)'s seething boyfriend. Lucas stomped over to them, snatching (name) from Mingyu's grasp and wrapping his bulky arm around his waist, pulling the boy flush against his hard chest.

"Not so shy touching him in public anymore?" Mingyu teased. If Lucas wasn't mad jealous right now, he'd probably wonder how Mingyu knew about the couple's fight. But he couldn't care less right now. He all but dragged (name) back to the empty classroom, heels clacking against the tiled floor and slammed the door shut.

"What's wrong with you Lucas ?"

"ME? The fuck's wrong with him? How dare he lay his hands on MY boyfriend?" Lucas fritted his teeth.

"I might as well let him. Since YOU'RE so ashamed of touching me. I bet, with his huge arms and adonis-like body, he can easil-"

"You mean, these?" Lucas threw his stupid smirk (name)'s way as he flexed his massive biceps that threatened to spill out of his half-tee.

"Lucas! W- what if someone sees us? The door has a huge window" (name) stuttered, turned on by his boyfriend's manly display.

"I don't give a fuck anymore." Lucas said, taking off his shirt over his head in one swift motion, using only one hand.

Throwing shame out the window as all coherent thought left his body, (name) ran firm hands all over the muscle mass that was rock hard under the touch. He squeezed the giant pecs as Lucas made them bounce. "You like that?" He smirked.

"So fucking much, you're so big and strong for me." (name) moaned, latching his mouth to suck on the bulge of Lucas' biceps, the giant flexing them hard in (name)'s mouth. The musky scent of sweat filled the air making (name) hornier as the recalled how hot Lucas looked playing basketball earlier, all sweaty and pumped up.

He ran his tongue over all his muscles: the abs, the meaty chest, the armpits, licking every crevice of the result of his boyfriend's hard work.

Lucas moaned, throwing his head back, grabbing a fistful of (name)'s hair as he pushed him further towards his body.

"Yeahh, worship those muscles like the good boy you are."

"You're so fucking hot, baby. Look how fucking huge you are."

Lucas growled, turning (name) around harshly, removing the string of his dress with one hand, the piece of fabric falling aside at once.

"This little pussy is mine" He landed a smack on (name)'s hole, cupping him hard through his panties, the boy shaking from the recoil of Lucas' strength. "Gonna ruin it with my fat cock, baby."

"Yes, daddy. Do it, fuck me!" (name) cried.

Lucas delivered more slaps on his clothed cunt, (name) tearing up and thrashing from the impact, but Lucas held him in place with one hand and he continued using the other to smack his pussy. "Crying already? Wait till I'm done with you. you're gonna cry harder than now, begging me to stop, but I won't."

(name) sobbed at the prospect, loving every second of it. Lucas grabbed a fistful of the boy's ass, kneading the flesh hard, digging his nails deep into his plump flesh. "You have the fattest fucking ass" Lucas groaned, slapping it hard again, and again, and again.

"I'll make sure this fat ass bounces when I fuck you."

Lucas turned him around, grabbing him by the back of his thighs and lifting him up easily.

"Ah! Lucas, fuck! You're so strong."

"Yeah? Want me to throw you around? Use my muscles to manhandle you and fuck you real hard, huh? Like this" Lucas lifted him up in the air and threw him on the desk. He leaned in, pushing his muscular body flush against (name)'s soft one.

He grabbed the boy's neck, squeezing it hard and forcing him to look him in the eyes. "I'm going to wreck you."

"Please" (name) choked out.

Lucas released his grip, sliding the panties clean off and shoving three of his fingers in.

"Look at how small your little clit is, baby. This is so cute, I'm gonna enjoy stretching it out."

He rubbed his calloused thumb on his swollen clit, teasing it in circles as he pushed his thick fingers deeper, adding his pinky.

"Fuck! Oh my god, you're so deep. I can't.

"That's right. Scream my name. Make everyone hear that you belong to me." The giant rammed his digits harder, abusing (name)'s sensitive spot. His body jerked forward and fell on the table behind him, hands scrambling for support.

"Fuck! I can't, please-ah!"

Lucas didn't relent, adding his pinky to the mix, his knuckles rubbing against (name)'s walls. "Take it! Take it like a good boy."

The taller boy continued his merciless assault, ramming his thick fingers in and out of his boyfriend. (name) felt the familiar knot in his stomach as the pressure kept building. "Cumming, please-!"

"Yeah? Gonna cum? Gonna cum all over my fingers? Cum like the good boy you are."

(name) did as told, clenching and shaking, squirting all over his boyfriend's fingers. Lucas took out his digits slowly, admiring the mess, licking his fingers clean and tasting his boyfriend's juices.

"Fuck, you're delicious. Turn around."

"W-wait, I'm sensitive-!"

"I don't fucking care. I'm gonna eat this pussy till I'm satsified. "

(name) turned and laid down, the hard wood of the desk supporting his back. Lucas grabbed him by the ankles and hooked them over his broad shoulders, spreading his legs apart. His heels almost reached the top of the man's back, but it did not deter him as he leaned down and pressed a kiss on the wet slit, his warm breath fanning over (name)'s sex.

"You look so beautiful right now. Your tits spilling out of your bra, and your legs spread wide for me."

Lucas dove right in, burying his face in the boy's pussy, licking and sucking at the swollen clit.

"Ah, Lucas-fuck! So good"

(name) gripped the hair on the man's head, bucking his hips as he was sent to another realm. He felt the wet tongue prodding and sliding, the sensation overwhelming his body.

Lucas captured (name)'s labia in his mouth, suckling hard between his lips and pulling it back with a pop sound. The lewd action made (name) cry out as he was eaten out, his pussy abused and raw, the man's tongue lapping at his entrance.

"Lucas, I-I can't take it. Too much, ahh"

"Yeah? Like how I eat your fucking tight pussy?

Lucas licked and sucked his boyfriend's clit, slurping up the juices from the sensitive hole. "Fuck, I can do this all day."

"L-Lucas, wait! I can't! Please-ah!"

Lucas kept at his pace, eating (name) out, the latter feeling his orgasm approaching rapidly. "I'm-cumming! "

The giant smirked, completely pussy drunk. " Yeah? Eating this little pussy so good, huh? Go ahead and cum all over my tongue, baby. Cum on my fucking face."

(name) was a panting and moaning mess. He couldn't take the pleasure and pain mixed together, and it all culminated as he squirted all over his boyfriend's mouth, the giant swallowing it all up.

Lucas sat on the teacher's desk, pulling (name) harshly onto his lap. He massaged his tits through the bra, growing hornier and more aggressive by the second. He couldn't take his eyes off the beautiful view of his boyfriend in nothing but heels, the black material covering his breasts.

"Take that fucking bra off" Lucas growled, pinching the buds beneath the fabric.

(name) reached behind him and undid the strap, the garment falling and pooling around his waist.

"Fuck" Lucas whispered as he squeezed the soft mounds in his large palms. He brought his head down and suckled the rosy buds, biting them harshly and leaving marks around the skin.

"Oh fuck! Please, more!

"Yeah, you like that? My mouth all over your pretty little tits?"

"Mmm, yes"

Lucas continued his ministrations, slurping noises filling the room as squeezed and sucked harder.

"Oh fuck, I need you, now. Turn around and show me your pretty little ass."

(name) slid off his lap and turned around, his knees resting on the wooden desk and his palms spread in front of him.

Lucas unzipped his pants and pulled out his throbbing cock, already leaking precum. He gave his length a few strokes before sliding the mushroom tip across his boyfriend's pussy, the heat of the wet flesh driving him crazy.

"Please, put it in. Put it in!"

"Yeah? This is what you wanted all along, huh? Wanted to be fucked stupid in the middle of class? Wanted me to breed you full?"

"Fuck yes, please"

Lucas didn't waste any time, grabbing his thick member and pressing the head against (name)'s sopping entrance. The hole twitched at the touch, aching to be filled. He pushed the head in and watched as the hole stretched to accommodate his size, a moan escaping his throat.

(name) whined at the feeling of being filled to the brim. The cock inside him was massive, stretching his insides and reaching the deepest parts of him.

Lucas grabbed his boyfriend's waist and rammed into him, his cock disappearing into the warm cavern. "Fuck! You feel so fucking good, babe".

The man kept his pace, his thrusts getting deeper and rougher. He leaned forward and bit the boy's earlobe, whispering filthy nothings to him.

"You take my cock so well, huh? Such a fucking good little boy.

"Ahh, please. Faster"

"Yeah, you want me to fuck you faster? Wanna feel my cock in your stomach? Wanna be fucked stupid?"

"Please! I'm so close, please let me cum!"

Lucas grabbed his boyfriend by the back of his neck and pushed his face down on the table, his hips never ceasing their movements. Lucas' strength never failed to amaze (name). He always sent himself over the edge thinking how the giant could easily snap him into two.

"Ah, I'm- I'm cumming!

"Go ahead and fucking cum. Squeeze my dick, milk me dry."

(name) shook as he squirted all over the thick cock, his walls tightening and convulsing around his boyfriend's length.

"Ah, fuck!"

Lucas slammed his hips forward, his balls smacking the boy's ass cheeks. His seed flooded the insides, filling him up to the brim and painting his walls white.

He pulled out his length and watched the cum trickle down the boy's thighs, the sight making him twitch.

(name) laid exhausted on the desk, his eyes shut and his lips parted. Lucas tucked his dick back in his pants and carried his boyfriend bridal style, the boy resting his head on the man's broad chest.

Lucas kissed his forehead as he left the classroom, carrying his boyfriend to his car.

Little did they know, they were being watched in this classroom, yet again.

Kim Mingyu let out ragged breaths, his head against the cold wall of the lecture halls, eyes closed and lips parted. He was sweating profusely and his jeans felt unbelievably tight. As he came down from his high and removed his hands from over his crotch, he looked down to see what the stickiness was.

He was so crazy over seeing (name) being wrecked in nothing but heels that he came in his pants.

[butterbabyflapjack]

Brat

Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!reader

sexual content, sexual tension, dominant ghost, power dynamics, messy feelings, voice kink, mask kink, glove kink, dom/sub, indirect daddy kink, biting, rough sex, begging, brat breaking, voyeurism, just a dash of possessive choking, forced eye contact, oral fixation, tactical gear kink

You’ve been acting like a brat, and Ghost has had enough of it.

“You can consider this punishment. Can consider it me spoiling your bratty behavior. But you wanted my attention, and you’ve gotten it. So tell me now if you don’t want me to bend you over this desk and fuck you until it breaks, otherwise I’m taking what I want from you, and you’ll accept everything I give like the greedy fucking whore you’re pretending so hard not to be.”

He pauses, as if for your reply, though your tongue won’t move, your heart won’t beat; all of you tangled and drunken and warm; your stomach clenching almost painfully tight as you hear his hoarsened hum.

“I need an answer, love.”

“I…” you swallow, hard. Unable to deny that your panties are steadily soaking through for him, though still you somehow manage to sputter, “I’m not a whore you fucking asshole!”

You hear the smirk behind his mask. “You will be for me.”

Chapter 1

You don't know why you're doing it. It's childish. Stupid. Unprofessional. Reckless. And yet, despite all of this, your smart mouth persists.

You’re not usually so abrasive. You’re usually a fan favorite on the team. Someone your comrades like to be around, whose skill they can depend on. Like 141’s own lovable, murderous teddy bear, complete with her own fully functioning rifle. But maybe the other guys locked in this shady apartment with you – who’ve been locked up in here all week with you – are right. Maybe you do have a giant stick shoved far too deep up your ass.

For the past few days at least, you've had a fucking attitude problem. You'll admit it to yourself, even if you’ll deny it to anyone else who has the balls to mention it.

In those first few days of everyone being locked up in here, waiting on word for your mission’s next move and that eventual moment you’ll finally be allowed to leave, the rest of your team had more or less ignored your souring attitude. The snarky comebacks. The utter disrespect. The numerous started arguments and absolute cheek. The never saying ‘yes’ without first saying ‘no’ and ‘fuck you’ and whatever else a few dozen times beforehand. It’s a bunch of men locked up in here with you, and it only took a day of this before they started goading that you "must be on the rag, but would you mind chilling the fuck out, sweetheart?"

Lucky for you, it only took one bruised jaw at the edge of your irritated fist to keep that idea from spiraling, and you still don't know why Soap let that slide. He must like you a hell of a lot more than anyone who deserves being treated this way all week, because he could have easily retaliated. You may be the best sharpshooter in the room, but you're physically the smallest and weakest, and you damn well know it. But even this isn’t enough to curb your newly sharpened tongue, apparently.

Seriously, what is wrong with you? These guys aren't just your teammates, more than a few of them are your friends. People you know well, and who know you – who you’ve been through thick and thin with. So why are you treating them like their very existence annoys you?

You're overworked. That must be it. You’ve been running too many contracts, barely sleeping a single night in one corner of the world before shipping off for the next. In fact, the week this started, these past few days that you’ve been holed up with Ghost, Soap and a few others in this over-cramped Amsterdam apartment, all of you just killing time whilst waiting on word for your next move – this is the longest you’ve spent in one place in a long, long time. And something about that makes you antsy. Like you need to keep moving. Like you’re running from something. And damn, apparently you need therapy or something; someone to crawl inside your head and tear out all this pent up angst, the hurt, the annoyance, the sleepless nights plagued by every horrid thing your line of work brings. All that anxious rage, the never being able to turn off, to relax. 

You need an actual full night’s sleep. That would fix everything. You think. You hope. Or maybe, as Soap so lovingly put it, you need a swift, firm kick up the–

You're startled from your thoughts as a graveled voice calls your name from the doorway of the room you’re lounging in. And when you jolt and twist toward it, eyes wide upon being caught so off guard – because since when are you, one of 141’s stealthiest, caught off guard by anything? – you see your Lieutenant standing there. Ghost. His tall, imposing outline, black shadows with a skull’s face. Leaning one dense shoulder along the frame of the open doorway as he watches you, as if he’s been here watching you for a while now.

Shit – how long have you been trapped inside your own head? 

“Not gonna greet me with a friendly fuck you, then?” he wonders, eying you idly.

Your surprise eases itself into a lowered scowl. “Not a friendly one, no.”

You hear his raspy tsks of the tongue. See his head just barely shake in disapproval, his eyes still trained to you. And even though you know you’re being rude – and to Ghost, no less – it still manages to bother you. “You know I’ve saved your sorry ass more than a few times, don’t you?”

“Just like I’ve saved yours.”

“So, what then?” he asks, growlishly bemused. “I s’pose in your eyes that gives you permission to act like a sour fuckin’ tart?”

You don’t. You don’t think anything should make you act like this, but you still are, and you’re still irritated. Though he doesn’t exactly wait for your thoughts on the matter.

"Come with me," he says. No prelude.

"What for?" you wonder back, because of course you do - and even at this distance you see his lashes lower across his dark eyes.

"We need to have a little chat."

His tone, low and jagged, is amiable enough; though its undercurrent not to be trifled with. 

You trifle anyway.

“Kinda busy right now,” you point out, even though you’re not, and with how you’re lazing on a moth-eaten divan with perhaps the most boring reading material known to man - an outdated British arms manual - this is more than obvious. “We can chat later.” You flip to a random page, even though you feel annoyance fizzle off of him. Even though your gut clenches at your disobeying what isn’t exactly an order from your Lieutenant, but is certainly far from a suggestion. Somehow still having the gall to feel nervous, despite your brazen cheek, to so temp the ire of so dangerous a snake.  

You hear his heavy steps coming toward you, and suddenly your book’s torn from your fingers, tossed against the nearest wall, pages fluttering to the ground. And though you blink up in indignance at him, muttering out a petulant little ‘hey!’, that blunted look in his eyes otherwise silences your objections.

“We can chat now,” he says.

Though your eyes narrow, you don’t dare deny him a second time. “Fine, then. If I still had a book, I’d close it for you.”

“Well aren’t you just a doll.”

It takes a lot not to roll your eyes at his sandpaper-coarse sarcasm. “What do you want? Or did you come just to flatter me?”

“Not here.” 

He turns, his tactical vest shifting across the breadth of his sturdy chest, tugging at the fabric of his olive-green shirt, its sleeves rolled to half-length to reveal densely muscled forearms. Boots, gloves, mask; he’s ready to receive word that you’re all to head out at a moment’s notice – not that that moment seems likely to happen anytime soon.

When he doesn’t hear you scrambling up to follow him, he stops at the edge of the room, boots scuffing to a halt. Glancing back over one broad shoulder, eyes darkly held within the sockets of his mask. “Not a fan of repeating myself, sweetheart.”

You frown a bit at what feels to be his condescension, though you can’t deny the little thrill you get every time he calls you sweetheart, even if he just uses it to annoy you. From anyone else it’s annoying, but from him, it speeds your heart a bit, squeezes it.

You tell yourself you hate that.

“This apartment’s tiny,” you argue, unmoving. Nerves suddenly locking you in place, though you think you succeed in masking it. But that way he's watching you… It doesn’t bode well, not with your attitude. And yet you still can't seem to help yourself. “Here’s as good a place to talk as any.”

With one hand raised to shoulder height, he knocks the empty doorframe beside him with the blunted side of his fist. “No door. I don’t think you'll want anyone listening in on us. Not for this. But if you insist on being difficult…” He glances back, down the hall toward the living room, before turning back to you. “I can make due with an audience…”

Something about the way he says it has you jumping to your feet.

“Fine,” you mutter, shuffling toward him. Ignoring his throated hum that may as well be a chuckle – and you must look as rattled as you feel, to so easily amuse him.

“Well would'ja look at that,” he gruffs, “she actually listens. When she feels like it, that is." 

You want to protest that of course you listen to him – you’ve always listened to him. You may be having a tough go at it right now, but if he’s about to begin questioning your loyalty or commitment to the team, to him, you’ll punch him in the face just like you punched Soap – skull mask be damned. But you don’t punch him. You don’t even note on any of this. Because his dark eyes scanning across your face, as if silently assessing you; lingering for just a moment on your eyes, your lips… 

It's enough to inspire warmth creeping up your cheeks. To make you bite down all those arguments. 

Luckily, he doesn't appear to notice his unwanted effect on you; already turning away again. Because of course his little glances lead to nothing. They always lead to nothing, and you know deep down that’s a good thing, that it would undoubtedly make things messy, that any feelings you may have for him are stupid, so you try not to be disappointed by that.

"On me, then," he says, his every boot step echoing down the narrow hallway he leads you down, the commotion and conversation from the nearby living room growing more and more distant as you follow rigidly at his heel.

If he's ever noticed any of the times he's pulled a similar reaction from you throughout these past few years you’ve known each other – stealing your usual snark, tugging flustered heat up to the very tips of your ears – he's never made note of it. Not even to tease you, and you're pretty sure he would. Well… he’d either tease you, or maybe he'd just completely ignore what you fear is your highly unprofessional, inexplicable, stupid attraction to him, thus bypassing any need as your superior to address it…

Shit… maybe he has noticed…

Gritting your teeth, you silently swear to better hide any feelings you may have for him. Especially since you can barely even admit to having them to yourself. And you don’t – not really – have feelings, I mean. Because it would be unprofessional. 

Being locked up with anyone for this many days can make things a little foggy – that’s it.

Though… that doesn’t exactly explain why you’ve caught yourself thinking about him, far less than appropriately, before this mission… 

And it doesn’t account for why you’re sometimes, more often than you care to admit, kept awake on night’s that feel far too long by what his husky voice might sound like, warm against your skin, whispering filthy, horrible things inside your ear. Why it’s always him in your bed, if only just imagined. Teeth tugging at your earlobe, hot tongue tracing its shape. Breath growing more and more unsteady as he tells you how sweet you taste. As one calloused hand slips down, slowly down along your stomach, down between your thighs; his other hand forming a possessive shackle round your throat. 

Wow. And now you’re picturing all these sinful things whilst following the unfortunate object of your ardor, your fucking superior officer for christ’s sake, to wherever he wants to take you for his ‘little chat’. Likely about your recent attitude problems, if you had to guess – which you’ll argue you don’t have, even when you know you really do. So maybe you deserve to be chewed out right now about it, but that doesn't mean you’ll take anything he has to say lying down.

Seriously, what’s come over you this week…? You undoubtedly respect this man. No one here, and especially not him, has really done anything deserving of your ire. And he wasn’t wrong – he’s saved your life. Many times. He’s your friend. Your mentor. Your superior. You’re intimidated by him, too – and why wouldn’t you be? If anyone says they aren’t intimidated by Ghost, in even the smallest of ways, they’re a bold-faced fucking liar. 

He must be leading you to his office; which is a lenient term for it, seeing as how it’s just another cramped room inside this stuffy apartment that he’s set up camp in and brushed all the clutter off the desk of.

Maybe you should’ve just let him finish reprimanding you in the cramped study he found you in, but it’s a little late for that – he’s already striding into his office, leaving the door wide open for you to follow him in. Which you do, even though the room feels suddenly like a trap. Standing tall with indignant pride as you slip inside, despite also feeling like a mouse. Pausing just beyond the doorway, fingers curling and uncurling at your sides. Glancing from a few overstuffed bookcases lined against the walls, to the messy futon Ghost’s been sleeping on that’s stuffed in one corner, before your eyes slowly draw, magnetic, to him. Watching as he prowls around the desk, his desk, which he’s dragged to the center of the room; its formerly stacked boxes and useless knickknacks replaced with maps and various electronics and tactical equipment.

There’s no chair behind it. It seems he’s merely decided to stand there, behind his desk, just to make you feel smaller by staring up at him from the other side of it. His gloved fingertips lightly tracing across a few loose dossiers, attention flitting over them, before his kohl-rimmed eyes flicker up to meet yours.

“Shut the door.”

chapter 2

chapter 3

chapter 4

[spooky-bunnys]

I have this idea for a request

The reader is secretly sneaking out of the house to go on a date with taiju and the reasoning for sneaking out is quite obvious mikey and Shinichiro don’t like taiju and our quite protective of the reader after his last relationship was bad and from what happened between taiju and his siblings. But the reader loves taiju and their relationship is beautiful pure innocent love. The reader and taiju head to a nice restaurant and after that they head to a beautiful flower garden where they plan on having their first kiss but they get interrupted by what appears to be motorcycle noises and it’s of mikey, Shinichiro and the rest of toman (the reader would be like a mom/father figure to the toman members and toman doesn’t want to see the reader get hurt) and Mikey saying stuff like “get your Christian hands off my brother” and Shinichiro is saying “our brother is too good for in fact he’s too good for anyone” and they can attack taiju and drag the reader back to the house they are being held back by grandpa sano, izana sano and Emma sano and they tell everyone to go back and let their brother and taiju have their romantic moment and kiss but not before Shinichiro spewing threats saying how he isn’t afraid to go to jail if taiju so much as leaves a micro scar on their brother

And the reader would probably get grounded for sneaking out after the date and kiss

Listen. I know Taiju is made out to be a bad guy. But Taiju is one of my favorite characters in Tokyo Revengers. He's also extremely attractive in my opinion. Also I changed it up a bit. Hope that was okay. Enjoy!

First Kiss

Taiju x Male Reader

(Name) smiled brightly at his phone. Quickly replying and giggles quietly. Emma smiles watching her brother be so happy especially after what he stupid ex did to him. Therapy could only do so much. But now he luckily had a very loving family. Unfortunately two of the three brothers are too loving now a days. Speak of them and they shall appear.

"(Name)! Who ya texting?" "Yeah who? Is it anyone we know?" Mikey and Shinichiro tried reading over (Name)'s shoulders until their grandfather slammed the paper onto the table getting everyone's attention. "Shinichiro. Manjiro. What have I said about reading something that doesn't involve you?" The two flinched as Izana laughed at them. "Yeah~"

They glared at Izana who shrugged them off. "So Aniki have you had time you check my bike?" Shinichiro confused stared at him. "What?" Izana looked at Shinichiro in disbelief. "I asked you to check my bike out like a week ago because I can't get my breaks to work. I almost crashed remember?" Shinichiro froze trying when he asked. He shook his head coming up with nothing.

Izana glared at Shinichiro before marching off and Shinichiro quickly went behind him. Probably to figure out what exactly was going on with their brothers bike. Emma took a quick Glace at Mikey. "Hey Mikey?" Mikey turned to Emma with a hum. "Aren't you late for a meeting?" Mikey confused looked down at his phone. "No we don't have a meeting until tonight."

Emma pulled her phone out showing him the messages between her and Hina. "Really? Cause Hina told me that Takemichi told her that Chifyuu told that Draken told him you guys were having an early meeting due to our date tonight." Mikey froze staring at Emma. "You do remember scheduling the meeting early for our triple date right? Me and Draken, Takemichi and Hina, and Senju and you?" (JUST A WARNING I DO NOT SHIP THESE CHARACTERS)

Mikey paled. Did he seriously forget that? Mikey quickly ran out of the house. Emma followed throwing a wink towards (Name) who smiled. (Name) took a peak at his grandfather who gave a short nod. (Name) grinned and quickly grabbed a jacket before kissing his grandfather's cheek and raced off to the restaurant where he boyfriend of almost 4 months was waiting.

When (Name) saw the restaurant he was surprised at how nice it was. He suddenly felt very under dressed. As he made his way to the entrance he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder making him jump. He quickly looked over his shoulder seeing his boyfriend smiling softly at him. (Name) smiles and kisses his cheek giggling. "Taiju!"

Taiju wrapped his arms around (Name) pulling him close and sighs happily. "So how'd you get out this time?" (Name) excitedly started talking about how Emma is distracting Mikey and Izana is doing the same to Shinichiro. Taiju led (Name) through the restaurant until they arrived in the private room he booked. "Then grandpa gave me signal and I came straight here!"

When (Name) finished he realized they were already settled in a back room. "Oh..." He blushed embarrassingly. "I guess I was so busy talking I didn't notice we arrived to the room..." Taiju let out a laugh pulling out (Name)'s chair then pushing it in. Then joining on the other side. "Well I'm glad you made it on time. Our reservation wasn't missed this time." He sent a playful look towards (Name).

(Name) blushed more covering his face. "I said sorry!" They had to cancel their last dinner date due to (Name) not being able to sneak away from his brothers on time. (Name) suddenly sighed sadly and slowly grabbed Taiju's hand. "Tai?" Taiju let out a soft hum telling (Name) he was listening while he gripped (Name)'s hand gently. (Name) nervously played with Taiju's fingers.

"Aniki and Mikey are getting suspicious..." Taiju frowned. (Name) held Taiju's hand tighter looked sad and scared. "I think we should tell them soon. I mean I already told our grandfather, Emma, and well Izana was accidentally told....but he's keeping it a secret for now. But I think we should tell the others soon." Taiju sighed looking away.

He hadn't told either of his siblings. He knows how they'll react to their oldest brother dating "The Angel Sano". While his brothers all had dangerous nicknames in th delinquent world (Name)'s wasn't so much dangerous. It's more cute now that Taiju thought about it. It definitely suit him. Though (Name) has become more then am Angel to him. (Name) had become his god.

Taiju kissed they're combined hands. "Alright Angel. If that's what you think is best. We'll let them know. But right now let's focus on our date. I was thinking after this we could go to the flower garden. The one with all the Cherry Blossoms." (Name) nodded excitedly. Throughout dinner Taiju got (Name) to forget his worries. Only relaxing and laughing.

After finishing the desert which (Name) will absolutely have to find the recipe for. Taiju tangled his fingers with (Name) pulling him towards (Name)'s favorite spot. The flower garden where they first met. Cherry Blossoms surrounded them and (Name) stared at the view of the blossoms in awe. While Taiju stared at him. The look of awe on his face made Taiju's expression soften.

It was all thanks to (Name) that he changed so much. He used to be so violent and angry. But now? Taiju cleared his throat gaining (Name)'s attention who smiled brightly at Taiju. The duo were so immersed in themselves that they didn't notice another person there. A look of shock and horror covered they're face.

At the shrine Mikey was waiting for everyone to show up. Chatting with Draken about what different gangs have been up to. If any of them are a threat to toman and what not. "Oi ken-chin. (Name) has been suspicious recently." Emma who was beside them slightly froze lisstening in to the conversation. "Hah? What do you mean?"

Mikey goes on to explain how (Name) has been more smiling and happy. Then he mentions how he's always on his phone then disappearing. Draken shrugs. "Maybe he's got a new boyfriend." The look of confusion on Mikey's face slowly turned to a look of disbelief. "(NAME) HAS A BOYFRIEND?!" His yelling had caught everyone's attention. "Wait what! Are you serious?!" Everyone turned to Hakki.

Whose face was extremely pale. "Please tell me your kidding." Confused Mitsuya quickly asked Hakki what was going on. "Wait Yaz let me put you on speaker." Hakki quickly put his sister on speaker Everyone quiet. Trying to Hear what was being said. Her voice filled the shrine. Clear panic in her voice. "Taiju is here at the Cherry Blossom garden with (Name)!" The air turned cold as everyone froze.

She continued. "They look like their on a date!" Mikey quickly ran towards Hakki snatching the phone. "Yazuha can you repeat that?" His voice cold and serious. "Okay so I came to the Cherry Blossom garden with some friends. Well, I was looking for the bathroom when I heard (Name)'s voice. Which confused me because when I asked him to come with us he said he was busy. But I saw him holding hands and laughing with Taiju!"

(Name) is on a date with Taiju? Mikey gripped the phone tighter. "Are you sure it's them?" "Yeah! Wait hang on something is happening." Everyone was quiet and on edge. "Wait are they about to kiss?" That's all Mikey needed before he closed the phone throwing back towards Hakki making his way to his bike.

When he got oh his bike and flipped open his phone. He quickly found Shinichiro's number. It was silent before the voice of the oldest Sano filled the now cold and quiet air. "Mikey what do you need? I'm busy fixing Izana's bike right now so it better be important." "(Name) is out on a date with Taiju." "Wait Shiba Taiju? The guys Inupi was talking about the other day! Oh hell no!"

Mikey put away his phone. Looking up meeting the eyes of Toman. "Toman let's go resuce (Name)!" Toman yelled taking off towards their bikes when Mikey met his sisters eyes. He noticed the panic look on here face. He thought she was worried about (Name). "Don't worry Emma. I'm gonna get (Name) and come straight home. Ken-chin take her home and tell the old man what's going on."

While Toman was headed towards the Cherry Blossom garden, Shinichiro was on the phone with Takeomi explaining what Mikey told him. Takeomi explained everything he knew about the oldest Shiba. "Shin I'm telling you this guy is not a good one. He doesn't need to be around someone like (Name) especially. Who knows what kind of harm he'll do to him." Shinichiro paled. (Name) already has enough trauma from his last relationship. He doesn't need more.

Shinichiro told Takeomi to get to his house while he was gonna wait for Mikey to bring (Name) home. When Draken dropped Emma home she immediately made her way to her grandfather telling him what happened. When Izana walked in she too told him what happened. "I thought we were being careful enough!" Emma cried.

She was nervous of how her older brothers were gonna react. She just hopes it won't start a war or anything like that. Besides she knows how much (Name) means to Taiju. It wasn't that long when they eard Mikey's bike and arguing? The Sano's made there way outside where a teary eyed (Name) was and an angry Mikey. "(Name) you don't understand how dangerous he is!"

(Name) just shook his head and stomped into the house. Pushing passed a frantic Shinichiro and a worried Emma. When Izana saw the broken look on his face he snapped. "Mikey what the fuck did you do?!" Mikey looked up in disbelief. "What do you mean? (Name) was out and about with Taiju! Remember what happened at Christmas?!"

Emma frowned glaring hatefully at herbrother. "That doesn't explain why (Name) looked so upset! Manjiro what did you do?" Emma never calls him by his actual name. Mikey looked her in the eyes and glared back. "I saved our brother from making a mistake! Toman is taking care of him right now." Shinichiro nodded proudly. "Good job Jiro." He patted Mikey on the head.

What they weren't expecting was the glares the two got when they looked at their family. "What?" They both asked. That's when they were yelled at. Hell even Izana was yelling at his brothers. They stopped when Takeomi came in breaking the yelling. "Hey Shin 'm here. Also Taiju is outside and (Name) is climbing out his window." Everyone quickly made there way outside where a beat up Taiju was hugging a sobbing (Name).

Mikey and Shinichiro immediately started yelling at he taller male. "Oi! Get your Christian hands off (Name)!" "Yeah! My baby brother is too good for you. In fact nobody is good enough for him!" When they went to stomp over to them. They were grabbed by the back of their shirts. Their grandfather glaring at them. With Emma and Izana standing in front of them.

"What are you guys doing?! We need to save (Name)!" The duo were slapped on the back of their heads. Hard. The trio then began to explain how Taiju had proved that he truly loved an cared for (Name). How Taiju had saved (Name) from not only rival gangs that wanted to hurt the Sano delinquents. But also how he saved (Name) from is ex a few months ago.

"Don't you two see? (Name) changed Taiju to his best self. Taiju loves (Name) for that. And I'm extremely disappointed in you two for breaking up such an important date! You two should be ashamed for how you reacted." The two Sano boys were being lectured by the other three Sano members. "Now. You are going to let them finish their date AND FINALLY HAVE THEIR FIRST KISS!"

Shinichiro jumped to his feet. "Listen here Christian boy! If I see any injuries on him I swear to any and EVERY God I'll kill you. I don't care about going to jail for it!" Takeomi started dragging him away into the house. Izana and Emma doing the same to Mikey. The oldest Sano turned to the two and smiled. "I deeply apologize for that. (Name) why don't you stay with Taiju tonight. Just don't have too much fun."

(Name) blushed and hid his face in Taiju's chest. Which was rumbling in laughter. "I'm sorry about my brother's. Are you hurt anywhere?" (Name) started frantically searching Taiju. He was stopped when Taiju pulled him close and gently held his face. Staring in his eyes. They slowly started leaning in. "HEY! ABSOLUTELY NOT! ACK-." They turned seeing Shinichiro on the ground with Izana ontop of him.

"Sorry about him continue please." They watched as Izana quite literally dragged Shinichiro into the house. (Name) nervously looked at Taiju. "C-Can we try that again?" They started leaning forward again. This time their lips met with no interruptions. It was like fireworks were let off inside them. It was magical and gull of nothing but pure and undoubtedly love.

They both pulled away, slightly panting and Taiju rested his head on (Name)'s shoulder. (Name) giggled and played with his hair. "I love you Tai." "I love you Angel."

[dissvicious]

I was wondering, how does your OC x canon ships deal with jealousy and possessiveness? I think that Buggy and Red must be the only closed couple of the pack and u can imagine Buggy being an insecure and jealous asshole, but I can't really guess for Law and OSHA or the punk trio.

Not totally related but does Redbomb triplets feel jealousy towards each other too?

Have a nice day!

Thank you for your ask!! Gonna answer in order

Redbomb

Buggy is incredibly jealous because he knows very well that he landed a girl WAY too much out of his league

He'd be the type of guy to be jealous of the kitty pet (Richie) if Red cuddle it too long

Working on it tho, he's more insecure than possessive

Red mostly isn't jealous because she knows Buggy a) don't see anyone else the way he sees her and b) would probably never score anyone else anyway

However if sometimes, by accident, someone flirt with him, they will probably lose teeth in the process

Basically this scene from how I met your mother is Redbomb coded

Lawsha

Totally polyamorous! They don't feel jealousy or possessiveness at all. They're just not cabled this way.

Mostly because I headcanon Trafalgar Law as aromantic, so even if Osha is his main partner, he don't have any problem with them seeking romantic love elsewhere

And on the other hand Osha is just happy to be with Law, they really are a low maintenance partner. As soon as they can spend time with him, they're happy

ChainsawMetalKiller

LOL THEY'RE ALL JEALOUS AND POSSESSIVE AS FUCK don't hey fooled by the throuple thing

Whoever oggle Nina a bit too much will end with two bloodthirsty giant jealous boyfriends clenching fists behind them

On the other hand Nina will not hesitate to throw hands to everyone getting a bit too close to her boys, they're off limits and she'll make it clear to everyone

Due to her past she has massive abandonment issues and massive trust issues so... Yeah

There is no jealousy between the three of them anymore, but at first it was really complicated... Kid and Killer kinda fought for Nina because they are stupid, then Killer and Nina started dating and Kid was jealous of the attention Killer gave to her, then Nina was insecure because of she understood Kid and Killer were in love, then Killer was jealous because Kid kinda tried to steal his girlfriend.... Then they activated their common braincell and decided to be a throuple but oh god if it was long.

Nina had an absolute (and one sided) hate towards Trafalgar Law because of KidLaw

Seriously it's a mess they should all go to therapy

BONUS Redbomb triplets

They all are jealous of each other but not really for the same reasons

Blaze just is a big moma boy :3 so he just wants to hog his mother attention and will be jealous if anyone else got it

Rory is jealous of his twin brother, but not because of the affection, because of how everything seems easy for him and how carefree he can be while Rory is always a nervous wreck thinking too much

Skye is jealous and insecure because how different she is from her brothers: she don't have the big red nose and is VERY self conscious about it, she's the only girl, plus Rory and Blaze always fight and both need special extra attention so she sometimes feels a bit left behind...

When she was a toddler she used to throw tantrums whenever Buggy or Red gave more attention to her brothers

[v-anrouge]

Haha we should all ship Riddle x therapy am i right guys ??? 😝😝😝😍😍😍😜😛😛🤪😋 /j

(Not but seriously 😭 my boy needs it. Actually everyone does 😭)

it makes me so sad that every chapger in twst was rushed to get to malleus as fast as possible because there's still so much to know about the other overblots :/

[crossovershipstournament]

SIDE 1B: ROUND 2: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III (How To Train Your Dragon)/Jack Frost (Rise of the Guardians) VS Dib Membrane (Invader Zim)/Dipper Pines (Gravity Falls)

Propaganda for Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Jack Frost:

i dont personally ship them but i know there are people who still do (and i found out abt rise of the brave tangled dragons stuff when i was young but i never got into it) so i'm just submitting this for fun and bc it's kinda cute lol

Worried and uptight x Laidback prankster. They compliment each other so well!!! Jack helps Hiccup relax and not die of a heart attack from worring too much, and Hiccup makes Jack take things seriously when needed. Prep x Jock!!!! Sun x moon!!!! Blessed be the ships from Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons (Rotbtd)

They're silly!! Hiccup's sarcasm and compassion pairs well with Jack's fun. That and Hiccup often tries to befriend everyone and Jack is incredibly lonely, they would be friends pretty quickly. Jack's whole origin involves the fact that nobody perceived or believed in him for a good 300 years before the events of the movie take place, but Hiccup if I remember correctly is pretty involved with folklore and legends and the like. He'd probably believe in Jack's existence which could lead to them meeting While Jack is kind of bitter in the beginning, we mostly just see him snarking the other spirits, since they're able to see him and just don't like him. The way he treats people and kids, however, is very different; he's all smiles and games even if they have no idea he's there! So I think Jack would be pretty friendly towards Hiccup, who had been previously bullied by literally everyone his age, which would be a VERY nice change of pace for him Idk. I think they would get along and maybe fall in love a little!!! They're just neat

#HIJACK SWEEP #HIJACK SWEEP

A VOTE FOR HIJACK IS A VOTE FOR THE PEOPLE

#hijack #HIJACKSWEEP #We have to make those two win

#vote hijack if you care about me at all

#i call upon the power of hijackians

#HIJACKSWEEP #HIJACKTHEWORLD #OURSHININGHIJACK

Propaganda for Dib Membrane/Dipper Pines:

They're weird. They're on that transgender grind. They've been emotionally scarred by aliens. They both have sisters and two male guardians who has eerily similar names (Stanley and Stanford/Membrane and Clembrane). They both need therapy. They can both get a little silly with it. I just think they both feel gaslit by everyone around them except those they're closest to (although Dipper finds himself vindicated by the end) and they could bond over those experiences.

#yo guys pLEASE vote for dib and dipper :3 they're my besties they NEED your help

#MY PSIONIC WARRIORS!!!!!!! VOTE FOR DIB/DIPPER NOW!!!!!!!!

Art Credit: Both pics by @/kannra-orhara

[charturnus]

I'm It's a complex

Ship: Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader

a/n: ...... So, surprise, I'm not dead! What can I say? Mercury was in retrograde? In all seriousness, I am very sorry for the ungodly amount of time between chapters, I hope this goliath makes up for it somewhat. Thank you to everyone who has been kind, your messages mean so much to me. Please let me know if you enjoy this!

Dedication: For Magda, who is the brightest light in my life. I know without a doubt that I will never be unloved by you, and that knowledge is balm for an aching soul.

Tags/warnings: 18+ minors DNI; top!wanda; bottom!reader; vaginal sex; praise; dominance; dirty talk; sex toys; degradation; unconventional therapy tactics

Word count: 15K

Summary: Chapter IX; Did you get enough of love, my little dove? AU

The one where Agatha is a show-off, you let something slip, and you make a friend. 

Previous chapter ➵➵

━━━━━━━━━ ✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯ ━━━━━━━━━

‘’I told you so!’’  Is the first thing Pepper says, as she steps over the threshold with a bouquet of flowers in one hand, and a stack of papers in the other, a black tote bag slung over one shoulder. Kate follows right behind her, offering us her genuine congratulations. Neither of them know yet, of course. Wanda and I have been sitting tight on the secret of our budding relationship, so they’re just happy our staged kiss worked so well.  

Wanda has made it her mission to throw a dinner party for her friends, so she can announce our relationship in style. But it turns out that it’s quite difficult to gather a group of women who all have insanely busy jobs. Pepper works crazy hours, Agatha sometimes works miles away, and I know from experience that Maria, who has taken over my old job, has her plate completely full. But, Wanda has managed to find a date and time that works for everyone, so as Pepper and Kate file in (20 minutes early), we all keep an eye on the clock, waiting for the others to arrive. 

‘’Have you seen the pictures yet?’’ Kate asks me as we stand at the kitchen counter, pulling out empty plates, bowls and sets of cutlery to lay the table with. I shrug, ‘’Wanda doesn’t take papers or magazines, and she told me not to bother looking for it online. I think she’s got some weird experience with the press or something.’’ Kate gives me a wide-eyed look of understanding. ‘’They’re ruthless, they print really nasty things sometimes, she’s probably just trying to protect you.’’ I nod, unconcerned, ‘’yeah, probably.’’ I know tabloids have a way of painting people in the worst light possible, but Wanda isn’t that famous. It’s not like she’s an A-list celebrity, so I’m quite sure nobody is going to bother with me.

We each take a stack of plates, and a handful of cutlery to carry into the dining room and when I push through the door with my shoulder, I see that Agatha has joined the group. I didn’t hear the front door open, so she must have come in through the back. She's sitting together with Wanda and Pepper, leaning back in her chair, rolling her eyes at something the two other women are saying to her, their voices muddling together. 

I don't quite catch what the conversation is about, but Kate is quick to turn to Pepper after we deposit the dishes on the scrubbed wooden table. "What was that about a hotel?" She asks, strolling over to seat herself comfortably in Pepper's lap. Their limbs fit together perfectly, in a way you wouldn’t assume when you see them standing next to each other. I envy the easy way Kate drapes herself over Pepper, with not a care in the world. My eyes linger for a short while on their intertwined fingers, but my attention is quickly drawn back to the topic at hand. My brows knit together in confusion at the mention of a hotel. I don’t understand why Pepper would need a hotel, as she isn’t due for a holiday yet. 

"Are you going on holiday?" I ask casually, my curious side getting the better of me. I direct my question at Pepper, but it's Wanda who answers me, her voice soothing and casual, "no, honey, it's a work trip. Pepper and I are both going, and we need to book the hotel soon." 

Kate’s eyes widen in alarm, and I watch as her hand tightens around Pepper's fingers. She gives her a reproachful look, "you didn't tell me you’re going away." Pepper looks genuinely sorry as she lays a comforting hand on Kate’s back, cradling her close. I turn to look at Wanda, my eyes asking the same question of her. You didn't tell me you’re going away. 

"The conference was supposed to be in town, but the venue cancelled at the last minute," Pepper says, "the closest place we could find is a four-hour drive and there's no way we can travel 8 hours every day." It's fair, I know it is, but still my heart contracts painfully in my chest. ‘’I can come, right?’’ Kate asks, her tone hopeful and cheery, ‘’we haven’t been on holiday in ages.’’ Pepper for her part really does look sorry when she has to disappoint her. ‘’Honey, you know your mother will also be there, I don’t want you so near her for that long.’’ Kate’s face crumples, and she begins to cry softly, resting her head against Pepper’s as her shoulders shake. I ball my hands into fists, staving off the tears, wishing I could do the same.  

I watch as Pepper cradles her close to her, holding her head tightly to her chest, rocking slightly as she whispers words I can’t make out. I can feel tears prickling at the back of my eyes, knowing already what’s to come. Wanda holds her hand out to me, inviting me into a hug. "It's only five days, dove," she says, holding me tightly, whispering, "You’ll be fine, won’t you? I bet you’ll enjoy a nice little break.’’ 

I want to crumple like Kate, be shushed by Wanda like Pepper is doing for Kate. But Wanda thinks I'm stronger than that, that five days apart is no big deal. And it is, of course it’s not a big deal. The rational part of me knows that there is nothing odd about this, it’s completely normal. So why then does it feel like my chest has been hollowed out?

Wanda doesn't expect me to cry. So, I force myself to smile at her. "Of course," I say with a laugh, my voice straining against the tears that threaten to escape from me, "it's only five days." 

***  

As soon as the opportunity arises, I escape to the kitchen for a while, trying to find something useful to do. Wanda hired a catering company to take care of the food, so I can't cook, or pretend to fuss with the food that's cooking in the oven, or sitting covered on the counter. 

I decide that wine is my best option, and I open the wine cooler, to inspect the available bottles. I slide my hand over the cool bottlenecks, feeling the condensation dampen my fingers. Truth be told, I don't know what I'm doing, I don't drink wine. So, I just take out the bottles one by one, and try to judge them on their appearance. I discount the white ones, simply because red wine looks more dramatic. The labels aren't very exciting, though, so this really doesn't help me to narrow it down. 

"Are you contemplating alcoholism?"  

Agatha's sudden appearance startles me so much that the bottle of Argentinean Malbec threatens to slip from my fingers, but thankfully I manage to regain my grasp on the thin neck before it can crash to the ground. My heart pounds in my chest, and I quickly replace the bottle, letting out my breath in a shaky puff. Agatha raises an eyebrow at me, "guilty conscience, hon?"  

"Not a fan of people sneaking up on me, actually," I say, scowling as I close the door to the wine cooler. Agatha snorts, "I wasn't sneaking, I was looking for you."  

"What for?"  

"You tell me, you get your feelings hurt and next thing I know you look like you're turning to the bottle."  

I’ve only known Agatha for a very short while, but after my conversation with her at the gala, I’m not surprised in the slightest that she noticed I’m upset. I actually think it’s pretty comical, and want to laugh at her remark, but I don't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing I think she's funny. So I try very hard to make it look like I'm annoyed, and I keep my lips resolutely sealed.  

"I thought you didn't drink?"  

"I drink," I say evasively, now perusing a rack of champagne next to the wine cooler.  

"Wanda said that you had your first drink in 10 years at the gala." I roll my eyes, "three years, actually. And so what? I fancy another one now." 

Agatha moves over to lean against the kitchen counter, looking at me over the lenses of her glasses. "You know I have great connections with Alcoholics Anonymous, do you want me to give you their number?"  

From the rack, I pull a bottle of Dom Pérignon, scanning the label like I know what I'm doing. "What are you actually here for? Because I think we both know I'm not looking to start a life of alcohol abuse." I keep my eyes glued to the label as I speak, turning it over and reading every word twice, anything so I won't have to look at her. But Agatha notices, of course she does.  

"I see you're avoiding making eye-contact with me," she says, in that simple way she has of saying things. Just stating a truth, and waiting for me to explain myself. I don't, I just shrug, "it's not a crime, is it?" 

‘’No,’’ she says airily, ‘’but I think it’s essential in order for a person to open up and allow themselves to be vulnerable. If you avoid eye-contact, you’re avoiding your own vulnerability.’’ This makes me falter, and I stammer a bit trying to find an adequate response, but Agatha ignores me, her eyes suddenly serious as she asks, "what do you think of Wanda having to go away for a business trip?"  

Out of spite, I make sure to look Agatha dead in her eyes, but I regret it almost instantly. She's looking at me in that way again, like she can already see everything that's playing in my head, and she's just waiting for me to confirm her theories. "It's pretty normal for her to take business trips several times a year."  

Agatha's eyes change, a look of reprove evident in her gaze. "I think you know that isn't what I was asking you." Her dissatisfaction with my answer stings, and not for the first time, I'm seized with a strange desire to tell her everything I'm worrying about. As if in doing so I wouldn't have to face her disapproval again. I try to keep myself composed, under her scrutinizing gaze. "It's only five days, Wanda said it's not a big deal." Agatha cocks her head to one side, "did she? I don't recall her saying that."

I'm agitated now, provoked by the anxiety from the conversation in the dining room, and now by Agatha prying into this situation. "But she meant it,’’ I say, a little too loudly, my voice cracking just a bit. ‘’Ah,’’ Agatha mutters, taking off her glasses, the end of one ear resting against her lips, ‘’so that’s what you’re about.’’ This makes precisely no sense to me, but Agatha doesn’t seem bothered to explain what she meant. She only smiles at me, the kind of encouraging smile I imagine her giving a client. ‘’You’re ashamed,’’ she says simply, as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world.  

‘’I beg your pardon?’’ Agatha ignores me again, which appears to be becoming a habit, and presses on with a question of her own, ‘’Wanda didn’t actually say that it wasn’t a big deal, did she? So why do you think she meant to say it?’’ My hands are beginning to shake, and I have to put the bottle of champagne down. ‘’I don’t know, she just asked me to deal with it.’’ I mumble, turning away from Agatha, so I don’t have to look at her anymore. Behind me, I hear her hum, mulling my statement over in her head. ‘’Remember what I said about eye contact, hon?’’  

With a herculean effort, I turn around again, resting my back against the counter, slowly raising my eyes to look back up at her. She gives me a smile for my efforts. “Good job, hon,’’ she says in a higher pitched voice than I have heard from her so far. It feels somehow both condescending and rewarding. It’s the kind of tone you’d use when training a puppy, big exaggerate sounds that they can recognize, so they know when they’ve done something right. I want to hear her say it again.  

"How did it make you feel when Kate began to cry?’’ she asks, her glasses dangling from her fingers. ‘’I don’t know, sad, I guess?’’ Agatha hums again, ‘’Sad because she was upset, or sad because you felt like you weren’t allowed to show the same level of emotion?’’  

This throws me a bit, and I stutter out several uh’s and uhm’s before I can form a proper reply. ‘’I didn’t say that I wasn’t allowed to cry,’’ I say defensively. ‘’No, you didn’t. But you wanted to cry too, didn’t you?’’ 

‘’Why does that matter?’’ I say, my old agitation flaring up again. I feel my face heating up, and I’m profoundly uncomfortable under Agatha’s scrutiny. I don’t like that she knows these things about me. It frightens me that she can watch me and tell me exactly what goes on in my head. It feels invasive.  

‘’If it doesn’t matter, answer my question.’’ 

‘’Fine,’’ I snap, much more aggressively than I had intended. ‘’I am upset, and I did want to cry, but that doesn’t matter anymore because it’s settled now.’’ Agatha’s brows furrow at my tone, but she doesn’t chide me for it. ‘’Do you really believe that?’’ she asks in a tone that suggests that she knows I’m lying. ‘’Wanda is going, and no amount of whining is going to change that.’’ She pulls a face of surprise, but I know enough to know by now that she isn’t surprised by this. I’m confirming what she’s known all along. ‘’Is that how you see the expression of your emotions? As whining?’’ 

‘’That’s not what I said.’’ Agatha smiles a devious smile. ‘’No, but you meant it,’’ she says, parroting my own words back at me. My shoulders slump forward a bit, my body wanting to shrink in on itself, to hide me from Agatha. ‘’Hon,’’ she says gently, laying a warm hand on my shoulder, ‘’I’m not doing this to be mean, I’m trying to help you. Be honest with me, and let me help you make it better.’’ I’m tired of this back and forth already, and the rational part of me knows that she’s right, Agatha isn’t doing this to antagonize me, so I sigh and nod. ‘’I just don’t want Wanda to think I’m too needy.’’ 

‘’And why is that?’’ she says, her tone encouraging, trying to coax me out of my shell. ‘’I’m afraid she won’t like me anymore if she knows how much I need her.’’ Agatha allows a silence to fall, stretching out painfully long. I think she’s waiting for me to say something, let loose more of my thoughts, but I don’t want to. Not when I’m not being prompted to, anyway.  

‘’Have you felt that before?’’ she finally asks, after what feels like an eternity, ‘’That you couldn’t let someone know you needed them?’’ 

The answer is out of my mouth before I can stop myself. ‘’Yes.’’ I say, without even thinking about it. Something like triumph glitters in Agatha’s eyes, ‘’Why don’t you tell me about that, hon?’’ I shake my head dismissively, ‘’I don’t want to talk about it.’’ 

‘’You don’t have to give details, just give me a rough idea.’’ I shrug, my eyes finding the floor again. ‘’I don’t know, this is just so personal. I’m not your client.’’ Agatha chuckles, ‘’aren’t you?’’ She takes a step back from the counter and begins pulling open drawers, she stops when she opens the miscellaneous drawer, where we keep bits and pieces that don’t belong anywhere else. She fishes out a notepad that I’ve been using to write grocery lists on, and that Wanda uses to write little notes to me or the housekeeper. She produces a pen from her pocket and throws the notepad down on the counter, clicks the pen open, and begins to take notes. 

She replaces her glasses carefully on the edge of her nose, writing down words that I can’t make out from here. A silence lingers for a while, and whilst Agatha seems perfectly at ease, I feel more and more disconcerted with every second that passes by. After a while, she looks up at me, her glasses sitting slightly crooked on her nose. ‘’So, are you going to accept that you need my help, or are you going to run yourself into the ground? The choice is all yours, toots.’’  

This isn’t rejection, quite the opposite, but there’s a suggestion of it in her tone, and it makes me recoil. Her approval earlier felt so warm, enveloping me like a blanket, shutting out the cold. I feel ridiculous for wanting this from her, when I could get it somewhere else. I could go back to work, and fall back into the steady rhythm of misery, that nonetheless feeds that ugly part of me that wants to be praised for my actions.  

For a second I feel the sensation of déjà vu, like I’ve done this exact thing before, stood in this spot together with Agatha. I know I haven’t, of course. Just a trick of the mind. But I know I’ve been here before, not in this kitchen, with this woman, but in different places, with other women. My neighbour, my aunt, several teachers, a doctor, and then me, wanting nothing more than to please, to say or do the right thing, so that they would like me and keep me around. Agatha waves a hand in front of my eye-line, and I realize I’ve been staring off into the distance. I shake my head slightly, clearing the foggy thoughts from my mind. ‘’Well?’’ she asks, her eyebrows raised, ‘’penny for your thoughts, hon.’’ 

‘’Kate used to be your client, right?’’ She’s surprised by my question, but she still answers me. ‘’A couple of years ago, yes.’’  

‘’What did you do to help her?’’ Agatha smiles, and it’s slightly condescending, like I’m a child asking her why the grass is green. ‘’Trade secret, baby. It’s confidential.’’ I try to brush past the pet name, pushing her for more answers. ‘’At the gala, Mrs. Bishop said that thing to you,’’ I say with a slight flush creeping into my cheeks, ‘’about, uhm, you know- The mother thing.’’ Agatha snorts, shaking her head at me. ‘’Right, what was it again? Something about telling vulnerable girls to go fuck their mothers, I think.’’ Now she doesn’t have her glasses in hand anymore, she takes to playing with her pen, spinning it around in her hands. The plastic of the pen makes soft ticking noises as it makes contact with the many rings on her fingers.  

‘’Eleanor Bishop doesn’t know the first thing about my line of work, and not just that, she has no clue who her daughter truly is. She knows that I encouraged both her relationship and her dynamic with Pepper, and unfortunately, she found out a few too many details about the workings of it all. She drew her own conclusions, and as a result, she spouts nonsense like that.’’ 

‘’Oh,’’ I say, ‘’so, she was lying? I mean, you didn’t-‘’ I trail off awkwardly, and Agatha laughs, the sound of echoing through the kitchen. ‘’What? Tell her she wants to fuck her mother? No, I didn’t.’’ My face heats up, and I scramble for my words, ‘’N-no I didn’t, that’s not what I-‘’ But Agatha waves it away dismissively. ‘’Eleanor Bishop is upset, because she realized that she messed her kid up, and she’s looking for everything she couldn’t get from her mother, somewhere else. Kate is making up for lost time, and her mother can’t accept that she failed her child.’’

Unbidden, the image of my own mother floats up into my mind's eye, and the little voice in my head taunts me when the similarities in our situation become so clear to me. I think she can sense my discomfort, and the shift in energy, because she shrugs it off, ‘’never mind all of that, if you want the details of Kate’s treatment plan, you’re going to have to ask her for consent because I’m not in the business of HIPAA violations.’’ 

‘’O-okay.’’ I manage weakly.  ‘’That’s later,’’ she says, her demeanour shifting as she looks back down at the notepad full of her scribbles, ‘’now I’d like to circle back to that question I asked you. Someone made you feel like you couldn’t let them know you needed them. Who made you feel that way, and why?’’ 

‘’Uhm,’’ I mutter, forcing myself once again to make eye contact with Agatha, ‘’my mother.’’ I watch as her eyebrow twitches slightly, and her eyes light up as though she just struck gold. ‘’You needed her, as all children need her mothers,’’ she says, ‘’but she didn’t fulfil those needs?’’ Her voice is sweet as honey, asking a question to which she already knows the answer.

I begin to pick at the skin around my palm, digging my nails in hard to prevent myself from crying. ‘’My mother didn’t care for me like mothers are supposed to,’’ I say, ‘’I had to care for her a lot of the time, support her emotionally, I mean.’’ Agatha nods her understanding, encouraging me to continue. ‘’I needed her when I was little, and after that too sometimes. But I never felt like I could tell her that, because I was supposed to be the strong one.’’ 

Her pen flies over the page as I speak, and I try to follow it, but can’t make any sense of it. She isn’t writing down my words, but that’s as much as I can tell. She’s drawing arrows too, and little stars next to sentences. She doesn’t say things that my old therapist would have said, like ‘that’s rough’, or ‘that must have been hard on you’. She just lays down her pen, nodding her head solemnly.  ‘’What were you feeling when Pepper comforted Kate as she cried?’’ 

The question throws me a bit, because my mind had wandered off into the dark depths of my past. I bring myself back to that moment in the dining room, standing there watching Kate fall apart. I shift my weight nervously from foot to foot, and shrug. 

"Be honest, tell me how you felt."  

"Envious." 

‘’Ah,’’ Agatha says softly, ‘’You wanted Wanda to do the same for you?’’ 

My nails dig harder into my palm, as tears threaten to spill from my eyes and fall down my cheeks. ‘’Pepper just saw straight away how upset Kate was, and she comforted her. I wanted that too.’’ 

‘’You want Wanda to look after you, like Pepper looks after Kate?’’ 

‘’I guess,’’ I say, acting like I wouldn’t give the world to be comforted by Wanda right now. I think back to my first night at the house, and how gentle and kind she was then. She held me as I cried, and rocked me to sleep. I wonder what it would take for her to do that again.  

Agatha hums thoughtfully, ‘’that dynamic didn’t spring up out of nowhere, you understand that, don’t you? It takes time and trust, and most importantly honesty and openness.’’ This sounds so much like actual advice, that the surprise must be evident on my face, because Agatha snorts, ‘’you know I have my PhD in psychology, don’t you? I can say half decent things when I bother to.’’ She shakes her head at me, but I haven’t yet wiped the smirk from her face.  

‘’Pepper didn’t spot that Kate was upset out of nowhere, it was communicated to her when Kate began to cry, Pepper picked up that cue, and was then able to comfort her. It’s about communication and mutual understanding.’’ Agatha removes her glasses again, her gaze suddenly stern, ‘’and given that you’re standing here contemplating getting drunk, rather than talking to Wanda, that indicates to me that you have a long way to go in that department.’’ 

*** 

Our impromptu therapy session comes to an end when Wanda slips in through the half open kitchen door to announce Maria’s arrival. She doesn’t seem surprised in the slightest at Agatha’s presence, and merely gives my hand a little squeeze as she leads me out of the kitchen and to the dinner table. All seats, barring one, are filled, and I know, even without anyone telling me so, that that seat was meant for Natasha Romanoff. Opposite me, Kate looks to have calmed down mostly, and she’s contentedly nibbling on some bread as she listens to Pepper gloat about our achievement. Her cheeks are red now, though, and I notice her squirming in her seat, but quickly my attention is diverted by Pepper showing the others the magazine covers featuring mine and Wanda’s picture.  

I have a look, too, and I’m surprisingly pleased at how the photographs turned out. Our backseat kiss genuinely looks like it could have been an accident, our edges are blurred, making it look like it was hastily taken. We’re pressed impossibly close to one another, the flush in my cheeks clear, even in the fuzzy picture, the sight of this brings me right back to that moment. Under the table, Wanda takes hold of my thigh, squeezing slightly. ‘’You make a handsome pair,’’ Maria says, inclining her head towards us with a smile. Wanda nudges me playfully with her elbow, ‘’we do, don’t we, honey?’’  

Maria snorts, ‘’you could’ve fooled me.’’ 

‘’Actually, that’s why I asked you all to come over today,’’ Wanda says, making good use of the segue provided by Maria, ‘’we may or may not have been keeping a secret from you.’’ Even with so little to go on, the reaction from the room is instantaneous. Kate gasps hugely, and Agatha slumps back in her chair with triumph, a gloating look on her face. ‘’I knew it,’’ she says, with a shit-eating grin, ‘’cough up, Hill.’’ Maria curses, slamming her fist hard against the wooden table, ‘’oh come on! You couldn’t have waited two more weeks?’’  

I look between the two women with some confusion, trying to figure out what exactly they’re talking about. Maria fishes a £50 note out of her pocket, and slides it across the table with a sour look. ‘’You took a bet on our relationship?’’ I say indignantly, but all the women at the table, including Maria, merely laugh at me. ‘’For the record, I knew before you had even signed that damned contract that this would happen.’’ Pepper states, pointing her finger around at everyone, ‘’I called this.’’ 

 ‘’I’m sorry Wands,’’ Agatha says, as she pockets the money, ‘’it was too good of an opportunity to let go. I think all of us knew this was bound to happen.’’ She’s clearly right, because it seems that everyone had been expecting for us to make the announcement soon. Even with the anxiety about Wanda’s trip weighing me down, I feel slightly comforted by the knowledge that Wanda’s friends are accepting of us, and approving of me. They treat me like one of their own, and have done so since the very first moment. And once the moment of shock has passed, everyone goes back to their regular conversations. The normalcy of it all grounds me somewhat, even as my stomach twists and turns as I think over Wanda’s upcoming trip.

*** 

The dinner is delicious, the wine even more so. Still, my appetite is minimal. Even with the good conversation, and the nice company, my mood is dampened by the thought of Wanda’s departure. I nibble at my meal, pushing it around a little with my fork. I compensate for my lack of enthusiasm for the food by gulping down the wine. It goes straight to my head. Not in the way hard liquor does, this feels different somehow. My head swims, and I feel the buzz, but there’s none of the horrible nausea that comes with drinking cheap vodka.  

Wanda notices that I don’t make much of a dent in my dinner, and she places a strong hand on my thigh, leaning in to whisper to me, asking me if I’m feeling alright. Seated at the head of the table, Agatha is holding court, loudly telling a lewd story involving a student, several board members and a cat o' nine tails whip.  ‘’Of course,’’ I lie, with a smile, and I notice that it’s a bit harder to pull off than I am used to. In the before times, as I now have come to think of them, I told all sorts of lies all the time, with no issue whatsoever. Yes, I slept well. Yes, I ate my dinner. No, this project isn’t overwhelming. No, I don’t need more time to work on it. Lying came as easily to me as breathing, and the difficulty I have now, however slight, unsettles me.  

Wanda frowns a bit, looking down at my hardly touched plate, and she opens her mouth to speak, but I am saved from her inquiries by the sound of breaking glass. I start, almost threatening to upset my own wine glass, but I save it in the nick of time. Across the table from me, Kate’s face is red, and a slight shimmer of tears is visible in her eyes once more. Her glass lies broken on the ground, the little orange juice that was in it, splattered all over the floor. Pepper’s hand flies to the ring of her collar, yanking her harshly towards her.  

‘’Uh oh…’’ Agatha sing songs, a cruel smile on her face, ‘’you should house train your pets Pepper.’’ If looks could kill, Agatha would be decomposing where she sits. Ever dignified, however, Pepper ignores her, instead choosing to hiss some words to Kate that I can’t make out. Kate is still squirming, tears steadily dripping down her face. It doesn’t shock me, but I’m surprised to see them interact like this. Until now, I’ve never witnessed an altercation between them, and it’s strange to hear the venom in Pepper’s voice when she grabs Kate harshly by the face, to turn her head in our direction. 

‘’Now apologize to miss Wanda for breaking her pretty glass.’’ Kate whines, and she struggles in Pepper’s grasp, but she manages to stutter out a weak, ‘’I- I’m sorry, muh-miss Wanda.’’  Wanda for her part takes it well, she squeezes my thigh slightly before she speaks, her voice gentle and reassuring, ‘’that’s alright Katie, thank you for apologizing. Are you going to be a good girl and clean it up?’’ 

Something inside me jumps at her words, and I suddenly wish it were me in Kate’s position. Across the table, I watch as Pepper’s fingers move from her face, where they were squishing Kate’s cheeks together, back to her collar, pulling her in so close that only she can make out her partner’s words. My eyes drift to Pepper’s lap, where her phone lies open on a screen that shows something like sound waves. I stare at it for a while, unsure of what I’m looking at, but when Pepper’s finger casually slides over the screen to increase the waves, and Kate lets out a high-pitched noise of surprise, I realize what’s going on. I feel the heat bloom in my face, and I look away quickly from the pair, trying to ignore Wanda’s warm hand on my thigh, and the strange feelings swirling in my gut. In my haste to look anywhere but the scene in front of me, I accidentally make eye contact with Agatha, who sits at the head of the table, leaning back in her chair, grinning at me from over the rim of her glasses. She raises an eyebrow at me, and I can just imagine her voice as though she were actually speaking to me. 

Enjoying the show, hon?’

*** 

Under Pepper’s watchful gaze, Kate sweeps up the broken glass and mops the floor to clear it from the orange juice. She’s not crying anymore, but she’s prone to having fits of uncontrollable shaking, whenever Pepper plays with the waves on her phone. Everyone at the table continues their conversations, acting like this is the most normal thing in the world to them. And maybe it is. 

‘’Are you okay?’’ Wanda whispers to me, ‘’I know it’s a lot, is that why you’re having a bit of a hard time tonight?’’ I seize this opportunity with both hands, ‘’Yes,’’ I whisper back, watching as Kate clambers into Pepper’s lap, having just finished cleaning up her mess, ‘’it’s okay though, I just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.’’  

She seems satisfied with this explanation, and she throws an arm over my shoulders, reclining in her seat. Kate has her face buried in the crook of Pepper’s neck, and the conversation falls silent, just in time for us to her Kate mumble something against Pepper’s skin. ‘’I’m sorry mommy.’’ 

It feels like a current of electricity runs through my body at the sound of that word, and suddenly the room has become uncomfortably hot. I’m hyper aware of Wanda’s arm around my shoulders, and I know for certain that if I were to turn my head, Agatha would be right there staring at me. I don’t give her the satisfaction, so I resolutely stare straight ahead.  ‘’Don’t mind her,’’ Pepper says airily to the room at large, ‘’she’s fussy today’’ and then, turning to Kate, ‘’aren’t you, puppy?’’  

Kate seems much more relaxed now, her tears are gone, her sniffles replaced with soft moans and whines. She nods blearily, her hands pawing slightly at Pepper’s blouse. ‘’Someone’s impatient.’’ Maria laughs, and she stands up to fetch a simple black bag sitting on an ottoman in the corner of the room. I recognize it as the bag Pepper brought over today. She throws it underhanded to Pepper, who surprisingly catches it. ‘’Give us some entertainment, won’t you? It’s been ages.’’ Pepper gives her an annoyed look, ‘’she broke a glass, Hill. I know you don’t understand the concept of discipline, but she can’t be rewarded for that.’’  

‘’Who said it’ll be a reward?’’ Agatha cuts in, shoving her chair back loudly and strolling over to where Pepper sits holding the bag. She reaches in, fishing out a pretty purple toy with a suction cup. She leans down to attach it to the floor, before heading back to her seat. ‘’She can fuck herself on that, we all know she won’t be able to cum from just that.’’ Kate’s eyes go wide, and she whines, both of her hands clutching at Pepper’s blouse now. ‘’No, no, no, no. Mommy, I’m sorry,’’ she cries, ‘’you promised, you said I could.’’  But Pepper doesn’t relent, merely giving her a stern look, ‘’maybe later, if you’re a good girl for us now, okay puppy?’’ 

Maria helps Pepper to extract the girl from her, guiding her to the floor, where they squat on either side of her to manoeuvre her to her knees. Once she’s down, Maria returns to her seat, keeping a respectful distance. From my position, I can’t see everything that’s happening, but I watch as Pepper reaches her hand up Kate’s skirt and whispers some words to her that I can’t hear. Kate puts her hands on Pepper’s shoulders to steady herself, there’s a wet sucking noise that makes even the tips of my ears feel hot, and then the quiet room is filled with a buzzing noise. I feel rather light-headed as I watch Maria helpfully turn down the waves on Pepper’s phone, and the vibrations stop instantly.  

‘’Be a good girl and fuck yourself on that, puppy.’’ Pepper says, petting Kate’s hair affectionately, ‘’you heard miss Maria, they want a show.’’ There’s a smacking noise, and I assume Pepper tapped Kate on her ass, because she makes a startled noise, and moves into action almost instantly. She shuffles on her knees, holding on to Pepper for support, before lowering herself down. I can only imagine what is going on beyond my line of sight, but Kate lets out a low moan of relief, that almost fills in the blanks on the picture in my head. I can almost see the purple silicone between her thighs. Pepper raises herself up again, slipping a small black toy, shining with slick, into the pocket of her trousers. ‘’That’s a good girl, puppy.’’ 

*** 

My head swims, either from the alcohol, Wanda's ever burning grip on my thigh, or Kate's increasingly loud moans. Maria, Pepper and Agatha are egging Kate on, making lewd comments about her body, and vulgar remarks about everything they could be doing to her if only she had been a good girl. Kate's face is red and streaked with tears that are by now dripping down her chin. Whilst she had started off moving slowly, her face contorted as though the toy was almost painful, she now sets a punishing pace, and she pants with the effort of it. 

 ''It's such a shame that you've forgotten how to behave, Katie.'' Agatha remarks with a dark smile, ''it's been so long since you kept my pretty cock warm.'' In response to this, Kate lets out a tortured sound, ''no, no, no, no, no...'' She whines, turning her eyes upward to look alternately at Pepper and then at Agatha. ''Please- Please,'' she huffs, ''you promised, you said I could, I've been good all week.'' 

My heart beats at four times its normal speed, and I can't help but keep myself focused on Kate as she bobs up and down on the toy. The revelation that Agatha has slept with Kate before doesn't shock me, as it probably should, but the thought that Pepper would share her is astounding to me.  

''Mommy, please,'' Kate whines again, fingers grabbing at Pepper's white trouser legs, ''I'll be so good, please, please I want to sit on daddy’s lap.'' If Pepper is surprised at that title for Agatha, she doesn’t show it. Instead, she rolls her eyes, grabbing a fistful of Kate's hair, yanking her upright, ''you're a desperate little cock whore lately, aren't you?'' With a shove, she's pushed in the direction of Agatha, who looks as though Christmas has come early.  My throat feels rather dry, and I take a shaky gulp of my wine. Wanda, who's been silent until now, speaks up, ''you can't blame her for wanting Agatha, now can you Pepper? I think we've all fallen victim to her charm at some point.''  

My head feels much too foggy to even begin to try to understand what this means, so I just decide to let it go for now. Wanda clearly feels more confident, now that everyone is busy watching this display, and she leans down slightly to press a kiss to my cheek, her hand dropping back to my thigh and skirting dangerously close the apex of my thighs. Quite suddenly, I'm uncomfortably aware of the throbbing sensation between my legs.  

I look around for a distraction, for something that could help me turn these feelings around, something dull to stare at, tiles to count. But my wandering eye is drawn to Agatha, who is beckoning Kate over to her. I wait for something to happen, for someone to search through the black bag again and produce another toy. But, nothing of the sort happens, Kate merely lowers herself obediently in between Agatha's spread legs.  

''I told you to house-train your pets, Peps,'' Agatha says smugly, her nimble fingers moving to undo the zip of her trousers. I feel as though I might faint any moment now. ''How many years has it been now? Four? Five?'' her fingers dig in the opening of her zip, grasping at something I can't see, ''and she still remembers my training.''  

From the gap she pulls another toy, also purple, but short and thick, and more realistic in looks. The thought of Agatha walking around with that hidden all evening makes my head spin, and my mouth water. Kate doesn't need instructions, and simply leans down to take Agatha in her mouth. With a smirk, the older woman collects all of Kate's hair to keep it away from her mouth. I have to breathe in through my nose and let my breath out through my mouth in order to calm my racing heart somewhat. But it's difficult when Maria talks about how Kate ''sucks cock like a champ'' and when Pepper is urging Agatha to ''make her choke on it'' 

 Agatha seems to like Pepper's suggestion, because a few times she snaps her hips up sharply, and in response Kate makes a grotesque gagging noise, saliva dribbling from her chin to her chest. Even through all of this, I manage to keep it together, manage to ignore the way Agatha makes conversation with Maria as if Kate isn't sucking her off under the table.  

But when after a few long minutes, Agatha hauls Kate up to sit in her lap, my brain seems to short-circuit. Kate lets out a contented sigh of relief, but this is only short-lived because the second she tries to lift herself up to fuck herself on it, Agatha stops her. Kate's lower lip trembles, and I'm sure she's going to put up a fight, but she remains silent. ''See?'' Agatha gloats, ''you can be a good girl. Go on, grind on my cock, Katie.''  She flips up Kate's skirt to reveal her cunt, soaking wet and swollen. My clit twitches and throbs, and I grasp at Wanda's hand, my fingers clutching hers desperately. I can't take my eyes off of her, and all I can think is why her, and not me? 

Images of me in Kate's position flood my mind. I want Wanda to reach out and touch me, in front of everyone here, I don't care. I just need this ache to stop, but I don't know how to ask for it. Kate is getting desperate now, and I like to imagine that she's letting out my frustration for me. At least she can be loud, I have to sit here quietly.  

She's struggling in Agatha's grasp, but the older woman holds her firmly in place. ''Please, please, please-'' she babbles, and I'm not sure who she's asking. ''Please what?'' Pepper answers. Kate's whole body trembles as Pepper gets up, moving to stand in front of Kate seated on Agatha's lap I can feel my own wetness, and I'm sure that if I were to touch myself now, my fingers would be covered in my own slick. My hands are sweaty, and my legs are shaking.  

Pepper’s fingers find their home around Kate’s throat, and they both smile. Kate looks relieved, almost. ‘’Please take care of me mommy, I need- I need…’’ It comes out slightly garbled, but I can still make out the words. ‘’It’s okay baby, let’s empty that pretty head of yours.’’

I’m highly conscious of Wanda next to me, and I wonder what she thinks of this. Does she want this like I want this? 

I wish this were us. 

I wish I could ask her to take care of me. 

When Kate comes, Agatha’s eyes find mine again, and I can almost hear her speaking to me, gloating and goading. I can almost feel her hands on my waist, just as they are on Kate’s. You wish this was you, don’t you?

The room feels much too hot, and I feel too exposed. My chair makes a loud scraping noise when I push it back, startling everyone except for Pepper and Kate, who seem to be in a world of their own.

Wanda rises to follow me, but I hear Agatha calling her to stay, and to let me go.

***

When I burst into the bedroom, where the windows have been open all evening, I notice how clammy I feel. My mouth is dry and tacky, the world spinning slightly on its axis. Maybe I had a little bit too much wine. But what else was I supposed to? All evening I’ve been trying to push Wanda’s trip from my mind, but I feel the horrible, twisted sadness creeping in again. My chest feels hollowed out, empty and gaping. I blame Agatha and her awful questions. 

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about this, I don’t want to cry, but I can feel it in my throat and behind my eyes. I swallow it back. I’m better than that, surely. I lower myself onto the edge of the bed on shaking arms. I want comfort, I want Wanda. But I can’t have her, I don’t know how to ask for this. I don’t even know what I want to ask for. What do I even want her to do? Fuck the sadness out of me? Maybe that idea isn’t half bad. At least then I won’t have to think about this. Maybe that’s why Kate wanted to do all of that today, maybe she just knows how to regulate her emotions better than I do. 

Almost mechanically, I push myself back up, and make my way to the second bedroom, that once was meant to be mine. I pull out the tote bag that I had wedged between the headboard and the wall on my first day at the house. My toy doesn’t look like Kate’s, but it has a suction cup just like hers. This will do. 

With trembling hands, I suction the toy to the smooth tiles of the bathroom floor. I make sure it's close enough to the bath, so I can drape my upper body over that when I inevitably lose the strength in my arms to keep myself upright. Hastily I slide my underwear down my legs, kicking them away into the corner and I sink down onto my knees. The tiles are hard and cold, and it's somewhat painful to kneel there. I think it's wonderful. 

I'm wet all down my thighs, and yet I know I haven't been prepped properly. I know this will hurt for a while, but I welcome the pain. The lubricant spreads messily over my hand, cold and slick, as I wipe it off on the toy. Gingerly, I lower myself down over it, mewling as the cold head slips and slides over my heated clit. When I position the head over my entrance I realize just how unprepared I am for this, but I can't find it in myself to care, if I don't get this inside me now I feel as though I might collapse in on myself. 

The stretch is significant, but it still slides in easily thanks to the combined wetness of my arousal and the lubricant. Just the head rests inside, and I have to breathe through the stinging pain. It doesn't hurt too much for me to continue, so I try to relax and bounce myself up and down a bit. After a few moments I feel able to take some more of the length, though it still stings. The head now rests comfortably against that one delicious spot inside of me, and I have to bite back a moan. How can something feel so uncomfortable, and yet so wonderful at the same time? 

It takes only a few minutes for my body to adjust, and for the stinging to fade away into nothingness. Now all I feel is a primal, deep sort of need. My insides twist and squirm, begging for more, begging for some kind of relief, not just of the physical kind. The rhythm I establish is nothing short of messy, and it’s all wrong. I can’t get the pacing right, and that marvellous feeling of bottoming out on a toy is nowhere to be found. It feels good, but not good enough. Frustrated tears pool in my eyes, so thick and heavy they actually fall, dripping all the way down my chin onto my chest. After fifteen minutes I am half sobbing, half moaning, delirious from an ache I can’t satisfy. I need more, I need more, I need- I need-

When Wanda finds me, she looks surprised. Her mouth open and rounded into a perfect little oh. I can’t stop myself, not even with Wanda here. It aches so bad, and I can’t make it go away, no matter how much I try. I don’t want to think about how I must look to her now, red-faced and sobbing, still dressed, fucking myself on her bathroom floor. She doesn’t give me time to consider it. She is on her knees in front of me in a split second, her hands smoothing my hair away from my sweaty face. ‘’What do you need?’’ she asks, so earnestly I would cry, if I wasn’t crying already. 

‘’Please, please, please, please.’’ 

I hang my head, to let it rest on her shoulder, breathing in her perfume as I take shuddering breaths in between each word. ‘’I need- need- you, please, I can’t- I can’t.’’ Wanda’s hands grasp my hips, trying to slow my movement, and I almost scream in utter frustration. ‘’No, no, no, puh-lease,’’ is all I can get out, before she shushes me. ‘’Honey, take a deep breath, and tell me what you need, I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.’’ 

I force myself to stay still, to breathe deeply in, and out, and again. Until my body relaxes somewhat into Wanda. ‘’There you go, good girl,’’ she coos, reigniting the heat in my belly once more. ‘’I can’t do it right,’’ I whine into her neck, my fingers grasping at her arms, ‘’I can’t feel and think at the same time, and I can’t get it to feel right.’’ 

She smooths a soothing hand down my back, and I can feel her smile into my hair. ‘’It’s okay, baby. Did seeing Katie like that get you excited?’’ I whimper, and nod, too far gone to even be ashamed of admitting it. She guides me off of the toy, ignoring my whines, and removing the toy from the tiles. ‘’It made me excited too, made me want you just like Agatha was having her, would you like that, sweet girl?’’ She helps me to my feet with my hands in hers, and just for this moment, I decide, it doesn’t matter. She has admitted to me, so now I may admit to her. Just for tonight.  ‘’Please, I need you so badly.’’ I whisper, my eyes downcast to the blueish bathroom tiles, my fingers grasping tightly onto hers. 

Wanda has smiled at me in a thousand different ways. She has a smile for everything, for an exceptionally well performing report, for over hours at work, for when I make her breakfast just right, for when she wants to say I love you without saying it. But now her smile is devilish and predatory, and this is entirely foreign to me. 

Her lips curl up beautifully, her eyes shine with the infinite possibilities of her power over me. It’s the most dangerous smile she has ever given me, and yet I have never felt so safe. 

***

Wanda guides me from the bathroom into the bedroom, and onto the bed. She positions me on my knees, on top of the soft sheets. From there, I watch as she strips, the muscles in her arms becoming more pronounced when she reaches up to pull her shirt over her head. She slips the harness on like it’s the most natural thing in the world, like tying her shoelaces, or doing up the buttons of a coat. She needs my help to fit the base of the toy through the ring, and with the combined shakiness of my hands, and the slickness of the toy, it takes a few moments before it’s comfortably in place. She kisses me, hastily, like she herself is impatient too, and she asks me quietly ‘’are you sure about this? Remember to tap out when you want to stop.’’ I nod so quickly that I fear I might have given myself whiplash, and my enthusiasm makes Wanda smile. I hesitate for half a second, but then I speak up, ‘’don’t go easy on me- please, I think I just need- I don’t know, I just want you to be a bit rough.’’ 

Wanda smiles again, and this time it’s a cocky thing, all smugness and pride. My insides twist at the thought of what is to come and my head buzzes at the sight of Wanda like this, cool and confident, perfectly at ease, perfectly in control. She knows I will bend for her, in whichever way she asks me to. She knows I’m all hers, to with as she pleases. 

Her hand is warm and firm as she places it in the middle of my back, pushing down harshly to bend me over. I fall into position as though I was born to do this, my back arched prettily, legs spread as far as they can go. ‘’You really are gagging for it, aren’t you?’’ Wanda delights, so satisfied with herself that I can hear it in her voice. I don’t bother responding, I just whine and wiggle my ass for her. 

The smack comes as somewhat of a surprise, startling me so much that I yelp out loud, my voice reverberating through the room. Her hand instantly rubs smoothing circles over my stinging skin, and the motion has me moaning hotly, leaning back into her, sticking out my ass, asking for more. She delivers two more hits that leave me reeling, and somewhere in the distance I can hear her snicker. ‘’I’m going to have so much fun putting you over my lap someday, sweetheart.’’ 

And I would respond to her, tell her how much I want that, but then her fingers find my soaked cunt and my brain goes silent. Her intake of breath, along with the slick sounds her fingers make, are the only sounds in the room for a few moments, but when she sinks two fingers into me, I groan just a bit too loudly. I push back against her, impatient for more, but she’s stubborn. She fucks into me lazily for a while, her hand splayed out on my back, holding me in place. Then suddenly her fingers are gone, leaving me empty and wanting.

I hold my breath, waiting for her strap, waiting for her to give me what I want. But seconds pass, and then a few minutes, and suddenly, the dam in me breaks completely. My arms give way underneath me, and a sob tears at my throat. I struggle in her grasp, fighting against the hand on my back, holding me in place. ‘’Ah, ah, ah,’’ Wanda muses, placing both of her hands on my hips now, so harshly that her fingernails dig into my skin, ‘’that’s not the way to ask.’’ 

Tears find their way back to my eyes and drip hotly onto my chest. I wail into the sheets underneath me, ‘’please, please, please.’’ The words tumble over and into each other, blending together in a jumbled mess of tears and saliva, and muffled by the sheets. ‘’Pl-ease, I need- I- I- oh…’’

Wanda finally takes pity on me, sliding her strap into me in one thrust, the front of her thighs resting against my backside. Her skin is warm, but against my overheated clammy skin, it’s like she’s icy cold. I am so wet that she slides right in, with absolutely no resistance. She holds me there for a while, and I relish in the way we fit together, Her cock pressed snugly against that sweet spot inside of me. Then, slowly, one of her hands creeps up towards my scalp, sliding in between my hair and scratching softly. ‘’Detka,’’ she muses, her voice velvety smooth, ‘’remember that you asked for this.’’

Then her hand balls up into a fist, collecting a handful of my hair and pulling hard. At the same time, she thrusts her hips into me, so harshly that my full body lurches forward. I would have fallen if she didn’t have such a strong hold on me. Some part of it hurts, and I know I will feel her tomorrow, but for now the pain makes it feel just that much better, and when her cock rubs me in just the right way I howl from the pleasure of it. She gives me no time to adjust before she sets a punishing pace, laughing at the way I squirm under her. It is somehow both too much, and yet still not enough. 

Tears are steadily leaking from the corners of my eyes, and I’m having a hard time containing the saliva in my open, moaning mouth. Wanda delights in it, cooing at me with a slightly cruel tone of voice. ‘’You’re such a mess, baby. Is that really all it takes?’’ I can’t think, let alone string a sentence together. But she feels so good inside of me, and I need her to know this. In this position, I feel so totally enveloped by her, that it’s almost overwhelming. I suck in great lungfuls of air, trying to form any sounds that aren’t moans. I end up making some kind of wailing gasping noise, punctuated by a high-pitched squeak, as she tries to deliberately trip me up by giving me an extra rough thrust,

‘’Awww, what’s wrong, little dove? Is it too much? Do you need me to stop?’’ The hand in my hair releases its hold and my upper body, no longer supported by her strength, falls limply to the bed. She stays infuriatingly still inside of me, and I can hear her panting slightly as her hands cup my ass. When I try to move myself, they find their way back to my hips, holding me in place. ‘’Isn’t that better, dove? You were struggling so much, I think you’ve had enough.’’ 

I know she’s only teasing, but the threat of being left like this so horrifying that my tears begin to flow once more. ‘’No, no, no, no, please, please don’t.’’ I try to buck my hips into her, but I can’t move a millimetre with her holding me so tightly. She chuckles at my cries of frustration, clearly amused by this display of desperation. She pulls out lightly, just to tease me a bit, sliding her strap in and out in a slow and steady pace that leaves me reeling. I am so close, and I know that if she touched me in just the right way, it wouldn’t take long. 

In one final act of desperation I reach for one of the hands grasping my hips, and she must think I simply want to hold it, because she lets go of one of my hips to entangle her fingers with mine. Carefully I guide her around my body, flatting her hand so that her palm is flush against my skin. I find the spot with ease, and lay my hand over hers, pressing her into my lower stomach, where I know she can now feel herself inside of me. 

She swears loudly, and she moves experimentally to feel the bulge of her cock. ‘’Please,’’ I whimper, ‘’you feel so good inside of me, please, please, I need more.’’ I expect for this to break her, for her to finally give me what I want, but if anything it gives her more restraint. She relishes in the feel of her cock bulging in my lower stomach, I can tell by the way she presses down on me, and increases the force behind her thrusts. She refuses to speed up though, simply pulling out languidly, before thrusting back in with considerable force behind it. It’s sloppy, and on every other thrust her strap slips out and slides over my clit as she tries to push back into me. This act alone brings me right to the edge, the feel of the slick ridges of her cock over my aching clit, pulls the knot in my abdomen ever tighter. It’s so, so very close to what I need, but it’s still not enough. 

The frustration of the night, combined with the fears surrounding Wanda’s trip and the painful edging she’s putting me through, finally become too much. I let myself cry in earnest, feebly trying to buck my hips into her, trashing in her arms as she holds me close to her. I can’t take this any more, I can’t think, I can hardly breathe. 

‘’Say something nice,’’ Wanda muses, amusement clear in her voice, ‘’and I’ll think about letting you come.’’

‘’Mo-mmy-‘’ I whimper, no longer able to contain myself, too far gone to think straight, I echo Kate’s desperate plea from easier. Behind me, Wanda stills, her grip on me loosens, and I find room to throw my hips back, fucking myself on her cock. She doesn’t try to stop me. One of her hands finds its way to my throat, pulling me up slowly until I’m flush with her front, her breasts pressing against the bare skin of my back. ‘’Say that again,’’ she whispers, her breath hot against the shell of my ear. 

I’m so ready to come, I try to spread my legs, to slide my own hand down to rub at my clit, but Wanda is too quick for me. With her free hand she catches my wrist, and she holds my body in position with the combined grip on my throat and her thighs holding mine steady. ‘’I said, say that again,’’ she hisses, giving my throat an extra squeeze. 

‘’Mommy,’’ I whine, ‘’Please, I wanna- I- I need-‘’ 

‘’I know, little dove,’’ Wanda coos, pulling out of me fully, and guiding me to lay on my back, ‘’do you want mommy to make it all better?’’ Somehow, when she repeats it back to me the reality of what I’ve done begins to set in, somewhere in the back of my mind my anxiety kick-starts. Now there’s a battle waging in my mind, between shame and desire. But with Wanda’s soft hands on my skin, and the still slick strap bobbing between her thighs, my shame buckles for my desire. My face flushes, and I shake my hair in front of my face to hide myself, but I nod, and hum my ascent. Yes, yes, I do want her to make it better. 

She pulls a pillow from the pile at the top of the headboard, and manoeuvres it to fit under my hips. She looks magnificent above me, with flushed cheeks and a heaving chest. She’s nude, save for the harness around her hips, and I cannot believe that she is all mine. Some of her flyaway hairs stick to her sweaty brow, and I get the overwhelming urge to brush smooth my hand over them and press a kiss on her forehead afterwards. And I would have reached up to do it, but then she’s between my legs again. The strap, now slightly cold, but still slick, slides up and over my clit, and I am instantly and forcibly reminded of the intense burning heat in my gut. I was so close to the edge only moments ago, and as she warms up her strap, I am pushed right back towards that edge. 

When she’s ready, she holds my legs up and open for her. The tops of my thighs touch my stomach, and I squirm at the feel of my tummy being on display like this. I cringe at the thought of what I must look like, and Wanda must notice because she frowns slightly, her brows drawing together in disapproval. One hand leaves my thigh to cradle my cheek, and she leans in for a lazy kiss, open-mouthed and messy. When she pulls back, her hand finds its way back to my thigh, spreading me open. ‘’You’re stunning every day, my love,’’ she says, sliding the tip of her strap into me, ‘’but when you’re spread like this, ready for my cock, you’re absolutely ravishing.’’ 

When she slides her cock in all the way, she stays there for just a few moments, resting her forehead against mine. We let out a synchronized sound of contentment. I am beyond relieved to feel her back inside of me, the sense of completion is almost overwhelming. This quiet moment doesn’t last, however, because soon I am squirming against her once more. I grind my hips deliberately, feeling her moving in me. I look down to my lower stomach, where I can just make out the bulge of her cock. And without looking, I can tell she’s watching it too. 

Finally, finally, Wanda’s restraint gives out. Using her grip on my thighs as leverage, she pushes into me harshly, driving all the air in my lungs clean out of me. The feel of it is heavenly, and I want to arch my back, contort my face and howl with the pleasure of it. But Wanda can see my face now, and her view of my body makes me uncomfortable. I fight to stay in control of my reaction, fight to make myself look pretty, or at least presentable. Wanda, ever the observer, notices within seconds. ‘’Ah, ah, ah,’’ she chides, ‘’none of that, let it go now, dove. You’re safe with me, I’ve got you, just let go.’’ Mercifully, she leans forward, covering my face with her sheet of long hair, giving me a respite from the ugly feeling of being known. There, under the cover of her hair, and the safety of the crook of her neck, I allow myself to let go. 

In this new position, she’s resting most of her body weight on me, and she puts considerable force behind her thrusts. My moans are broken, and desperate, my voice cracking as I beg her to ruin me. I lose track of what precisely I’m saying, but Wanda seems to love it. With easy access to her neck, I lick and suck and bite to my heart's content. She turns her head slightly to make it easier for me to reach, and it’s clear that she’s enjoying herself from the way she shudders every time I run my tongue over the hard muscle in her neck. She moans softly when I bite down her tender skin, not hard enough to make her bleed, just enough to create a pretty red mark. Her moans make my head spin with want. The knowledge of being desired by her, is more erotic to me than any kind of physical touch could be. Wanda Maximoff moaning above me feels like heaven on earth. 

It doesn’t take long before Wanda’s movements become more frenzied, and I wonder if she, like me, is impatient for my orgasm to arrive. It’s only when she shifts our position, lowering one of my legs slightly to give herself a better angle, that I realize what is going on. She moans loudly and almost obscenely into my ear, and I wonder how I ever managed to live without having experienced this. Heat, like nothing I’ve felt before, erupts throughout my body. From the very tips of my toes to the ends of my hair, I am utterly incandescent. 

Her moans stutter in their rhythm, and I know what’s going to happen. I hold her tightly to me, my mouth on her neck, my legs locked firmly behind her back. ‘’Oh- oh God.’’ She keens, ‘’I- oh- I’m sorry honey, I think I’m gonna-‘’ I detach my mouth from the hickey I’m steadily developing at her pulse point for just long enough to moan out my response, ‘’Come inside me, please, mommy,’’ I plead, my voice obscenely high-pitched and whiney, ‘’you feel so good, please- please.’’

Wanda comes first, and it’s a marvellous fall from grace. She grasps at me, her body pushing into mine so firmly that it feels as though she’s trying to merge us into one. Her moans so close to my ear, and so desperate and needy, finally push me over the edge. My whole body seizes up so forcefully that I worry I might tear a muscle. I hold onto Wanda for dear life as she fucks me through my peak, her cheek pressed to mine as she rides out her own pleasure. 

It takes a while for us to come back to ourselves, both still reeling from our release. Wanda stills inside of me, propping herself up to come nose to nose with me. She’s laughing, but I feel beyond exhausted. Still, I encourage her gently to rest her full body weight on me and to keep her cock inside of me for a while. We snuggle like that, not speaking, just breathing each other in. My hand finds her hair and I scratch her scalp softly with my nails. My anxiety is creeping up on slowly, replacing the relaxation in my body steadily with that too familiar uneasy gut feeling. 

Even in this state, Wanda picks up on the change in me. I don’t know if I have given her any physical cues, or if she can somehow sense the change in energy, but she notices nonetheless. Without further ado, she makes us get up. I wince at the rawness of my body when she pulls her cock out of me, and Wanda laughs when she sees the state of her neck in the bathroom mirror. 

She draws us a bath, throwing in some lavender scented oil, and we both clamber into it on unsteady legs. We wash each other with soft cloths, and talk through some of our experiences of the night. Wanda has a lot of questions for me, which I understand. She wants to know why I didn’t go to her first when I was frustrated, and why I retreated into my head so much when we came face to face in such an intimate moment. But I’m too tired to open those wounds up now, and even the soft light of the bathroom feels too overstimulating on my tired head. So, kind as ever, Wanda accepts that today is not the day, and she merely draws me back to her chest, singing her lullaby to me as we hold each other close.

When the water gets cold, and my head feels a bit clearer, I hop out of the bath to dress myself in something cosy and warm. I have to dash through the bathroom, wrapped in my towel, to grab some clothes from my dresser. I decide against pyjamas, considering we still have guests. So, instead, I settle for a well fitting pair of black joggers and a wonderfully soft roll neck top. According to the clock on Wanda’s night stand, an hour and ten minutes have passed since I first made my way upstairs. 

I wonder what everyone else has been doing in the time we’ve been gone, and I wonder too if they know what we’ve been up to. But, I reason with myself, even if they know it won’t be a big deal to them, considering Agatha fucked Kate at the dinner table like it was the most normal thing in the world. 

I am beginning to feel the lack of dinner, though, and my stomach growls loudly when I re-enter the bathroom. Wanda has drained the bath by now, but she’s turning the shower head on. ‘’Aren’t you coming downstairs with me?’’ I ask, as I watch her step carefully back into the tub. ‘’I just want to wash my hair quickly, dove,’’ she says over the sound of falling water. ‘’You can go, I’ll join you soon.’’

***

I leave Wanda in the bathroom to take her shower, and head downstairs groggily in search of tea and a snack. I’m quite sure everyone left, because the house is dead silent, but I’m in for a surprise when I walk into the living room intending to pick up a blanket to stave off the chill running through me. Kate occupies the sofa, laying down with my favourite blanket covering her. Pepper and Maria are nowhere to be found, but Agatha is there, reclining in one of the armchairs, a paperback folded double in her hands, her glasses once more perched at the edge of her nose. 

She looks up when I enter the room, and suddenly I’m hyper aware of my messed up hair, and I’m grateful to Wanda for helping me to clean up. I wouldn’t be able to bear it if I had come down with my tear streaked makeup. Still, Agatha smiles at me as though I had come down looking freshly fucked. 

‘’I bet that was a weight off your shoulders, huh hon?’’ I stare at her blankly, my brain too sluggish to comprehend her words. She laughs, ‘’well, Katie and I went up to the guest bathroom to freshen up after our little session, and it sounds like you two had a marvelous time.’’ Mortified, I raise my hands up to my face to hide myself from her. It was bad enough that Wanda heard that outburst, but the knowledge that Agatha heard, and not just her but Kate too, makes my throat constrict painfully. 

Kate shifts on the sofa, turning her face outward and towards me. She’s clearly sleepy, her eyes half closed. ‘’She’s not teasing you,’’ she mumbles, ‘’I know it feels like it, but she isn’t.’’ She yawns hugely, turning over again, and settling the blanket over herself more securely. ‘’That must have felt nice to finally let out.’’

I shrug half-heartedly, embarrassed tears prickling in my eyes. Agatha rises from her chair, plopping her book down onto the seat, and whipping off her glasses. ‘’Come on, we should let Katie rest.’’ With a firm but gentle hand on my lower back, she steers me towards the door, leaving no room for argument. I don’t bother trying to fight it, and I allow myself to be guided through the living room into the bright LED lighted kitchen. 

When she lets go of me, I move away from her, hugging myself tightly, wishing Wanda would hurry up already. She leans back comfortably against the kitchen counter, and I feel myself shrink under her gaze. I want to turn around and walk away, or snap at her for looking me with those all-knowing eyes. I hold myself securely, shielding myself from attacks that won’t come, trying to breathe through the discomfort of being known. 

‘’I know that you feel dirty’’ Agatha says finally, breaking this awful silence, ‘’you’re ashamed, and you’re afraid of these feelings you can’t make sense of.’’ She steps closer to me, a strong hand outstretched, like a hunter approaching a startled deer in the forest. ‘’One day you’ll learn to proud of these feelings, and it will give you the peace you’ve always craved. But only if you open yourself up, and let us help you.’’

She’s so close to me that I can feel the heat radiating off of her body. She smells like lavender, and the veins of her hand stick out like rivers carving a path through land. Involuntarily, my eyes flit down to her trousers, where her bulge is still visible. A shiver runs through me when I recall Kate writhing on her lap, Agatha’s strong hands holding onto her, delighting in her pleasure, in the way she begged and the words she used. Unashamed, ecstatic, and free. 

Fresh tears dribble slowly down my cheeks, and instinctively I turn to face away from her, but she’s too quick for me. In half a heartbeat she has me pressed tightly against her, one hand cradling the back of my head, the other resting on my lower back. She rocks me lightly, shushing me, in a way that is too clinical to be motherly. Still, this display of gentleness from her shocks me so much that I don’t even fight against it, instead I welcome the wave of tears that rolls over me. ‘’I’m disgusting,’’ I manage finally between the tears and the heaving breaths I have to take, ‘’I don’t know what’s wrong with me.’’

She lets go of me now, the moment of affection passing just as quickly as it came. She’s back to scrutinizing me, but now there’s something like pity in her eyes. It makes the underside of my skin itch. ‘’Why do you think you’re disgusting?’’ 

The notepad is back, arrows and lines and squiggles and stars all over the paper. I didn’t even see where it came from. The lights are too bright, and the counters smell like lemon. It makes me feel somewhat nauseous. I look at the black ink when I speak, deliberately avoiding her gaze. 

‘’It’s not natural.’’ 

Agatha snorts derisively, ‘’depriving children of a loving and nurturing relationship to their parents isn’t natural. This response is nothing but natural. Your brain is protecting you, in the absence of a protector. You are trying to fill in the gaps, in the only way you know how.’’ I hug my chest again, noticing how little comfort I find in my own cold hands, now I’ve felt Agatha’s warm body against mine. ‘’What are you so afraid of?’’ She asks, her pen skirting over the paper. I like to imagine she’s writing my answer down for me.

‘’She’s going to think that I’m weak, and hate me for being so needy. I can’t let this out, because then I won’t know how to go back.’’

Her eyes twinkle when she looks up at me from her paper, the lines by her eyes contracting as she smiles. ‘’Have you spoken to Wanda about this?’’ 

My head hurts, and I can’t tell if it’s because of the crying, or the bright lights bouncing off of the white marble counter tops. I shake my head, my fingers picking at the skin around my nails, it’s already bleeding.

‘’Do you think you believe she won’t accept this side of you, because you don’t accept it?’’ I close my eyes, agitation returning to me. I’m too tired for this, I’m too tired for anything. ‘’I think you’ve made your judgement already. You clearly think that’s the case.’’

‘’I do,’’ she says, not the slightest bit of venom in her voice, though I had expected it. ‘’Clearly you loathe yourself so much that you’re depriving yourself of any form of love and acceptance she tries to give to you.’’ There is no malice behind this statement, but it still stings, and I flinch as though she has struck me. My nose has closed up from the crying, and I have to breathe through my mouth in an effort to steady myself, trying to hold back the next wave of tears. Agatha is surprisingly patient as I try to collect myself enough to be able to get some words out.

‘’I- I want to accept it.’’ I begin, my voice thick from the tears, ‘’I want it so bad, more than anything else, and I never thought I had an issue with accepting love, but- but…’’ I trail off, shrugging my shoulders half-heartedly, ‘’I don’t know, I’m just so scared uncovering all of this because if she doesn’t like me like this, I don’t know if I could bear it.’’

Agatha nods sagely, patting my arm in a vaguely comforting way. She reaches behind me for the paper towels, ripping off two sheets and handing them to me, so I can dry my eyes and blow my nose. ‘’You need to calm down a bit, alright, hon? I’m going to make us some nice tea, and then you’re going to listen to what I have to say.’’

There is no room for ifs or buts, so I just wipe my tears, and nod along. She kindly gives me a second to sort myself out, turning her back on me to put the kettle on. When my tears are finally dry, she sets a steaming mug of tea in front of me, and directs me to sit at the bar stool. She sits right next to me, so close that our knees touch. Her glasses are back on her nose now, and I’m grateful for the mug because it gives me something to do with my hands. 

‘’A mother complex in sapphic women is often viewed as repulsive by outsiders,’’ she begins, her voice reassuring and gentle, ‘’whilst a father complex in heterosexual women is very widely accepted, and people don’t bat an eye at a girl who calls her bed partner daddy,’’ she says, giving me a significant look, ‘’but a girl calling her partner mommy? They can’t cope with it. As a society we’ve been a bit desensitized by the word daddy, because we’ve been taught to accept it in a sexual context. The word mommy hasn’t got the same treatment, so it’s still viewed very much in the context of a mother and child. People find it especially inflammatory when a younger and older woman respectively engage in such a dynamic.’’ 

She lays a warm hand on my knee, and my skin burns with the contact. ‘’What you feel is normal, your inner child has been so severely neglected that she’s screaming for love and affection. You don’t need your mother, you need your mommy, and those are two entirely separate people.’’ 

I hang my head, letting out a shaky breath, ‘’I’m so tired of taking care of myself all the time,’’ I admit, my voice shaking. Agatha rubs her hand in gentle circles on my back, ‘’so let go, and trust that we will catch you.’’ Her use of we doesn’t escape me, but I’m too exhausted to question her on this. Her words sound so sweet, and so promising, I want to sink into her and let this all go. I can’t though, I know I can’t give into this temptation. My resolve is breaking, I can feel it, and it’s so hard to not give into her. A compromise then, however much the truth can be a compromise. 

‘’I really want to,’’ I begin, and I can already tell that she knows exactly where this is going. Maybe she knew where this day would end when she cornered me in the kitchen for the first time. ‘’But I can’t let myself do this, because I think it’ll ruin me.’’ Agatha gives me a sceptical look, ‘’you’re full of shit, did you know that?’’ I laugh, before I realize how serious her tone is. ‘’You’re going against your nature, and it’s going to end up hurting a lot more than it already is.’’ I shift uncomfortably in my seat, staring at the laces of her shoes. ‘’you don’t know that.’’ 

She laughs humourlessly, ‘’Which one of us has the PhD, hon?’’ I pull a face, unable to contain myself any longer. ‘’Are you this rude to paying clients?’’ This makes her smile, the curve of her lips breaking the icy cold mask that was previously there. ‘’No, lucky for you, you’re not paying me.’’

‘’I just don’t know how to accept it,’’ I blurt out suddenly, unable to bear this awful tension, knowing she disproves of my choices. ‘’She’s going to think I’m a freak, and she’ll hate me for it, and then I’ll lose her. But I want to let go just like Kate can, I want that so bad. I don’t know how to do that without terrifying Wanda.’’ 

‘’You underestimate her,’’ Agatha says, ‘’you saw how she was with Pepper and Kate.’’ 

‘’That’s different,’’ I say evasively, making Agatha roll her eyes. ‘’How is that different?’’ I shrug, ‘’it’s one thing to watch someone else do it, it’s another thing entirely to do it yourself.’’ Apparently that’s notebook worthy, because she scribbles something down messily, the pen excreting a bit more ink than is necessary, staining the paper with a dark blob of ink. ‘’I’ve known Wanda a lot longer than you have, and I’ve known her intimately. She’s insecure, and stubborn and just as afraid of you to admit it to you, but she needs someone to take care of.’’ 

I stare at the jet black blob of ink, focused on how it seeps into the paper. It bleeds into the thin white sheet like blood sinking into snow. A part of my brain itches with excitement, screaming at me to listen to Agatha. Another part of begins to loosen its grip on the doubt. 

‘’If it takes me banging your heads together to make you understand, I will.’’ She says, and I have a feeling that this isn’t a joke. ‘’In the meantime, let’s start small, with something you already know, but that isn’t fully in your comfort zone yet.’’ She pats my knee and smiles at me In a somewhat condescending manner. ‘’When we get back to the living room you’re going to kneel for Wanda, I know you enjoy that, so that should be a nice way to get this ball rolling.’’

I open my mouth to protest, several urgent questions rushing to the forefront of my mind, but she’s way ahead of me, holding up a finger to silence me. ‘’None of that, this isn’t a request, dear. Now, we really should find Wanda, she’s taking an awfully long time up there.’’ She’s up now, and peeking out the door, listening for movement upstairs. 

‘’H- how did you know, about the- the kneeling thing.’’ I say weakly. ‘’Hmm?’’ she hums vaguely, still alertly waiting for any signs of life from the upper story of the house. ‘’Oh, Wanda told me ages ago now. She said you were mad for it.’’

‘’Oh.’’ I say dumbly, thinking about Wanda and Agatha chatting about me in such a casual way. I wonder what else she has told her. The thought of it all makes my face burn.

A few more moments pass of the older woman standing guard at the door, before she finally shows a sign of life again. ‘’Wanda’s coming,’’ she warns, pulling my half drunk mug of tea from my hands, and dumping it out into the sink alongside hers. Hardly 10 seconds later I hear her footsteps on the stairs, and I can tell she’s about to walk past the kitchen, but Agatha calls out to her. 

‘’There you are,’’ Wanda says from the open doorway, and I’m so relieved to see her again, smiling and happy to see me, even after what happened. She leans against the frame, her hair wet and her shirt damp at the neck, smiling like everything is fine. It gives me hope that maybe everything is fine, and that Agatha is right after all. 

Agatha moves past us, muttering something about Pepper and Maria, and an unexpected zoom call. When the door falls closed behind her, Wanda stretches out her arms towards me, inviting me in for a hug. She smells like shampoo, and fresh laundry, and it’s the most comforting smell in the world to me now. She holds me tightly, one hand on my back, and another on the back of my head. We stand there for a while, silently swaying in each other’s arms. I don’t want to let go, so I hold on even when she begins to speak. ‘’Are you sure you don’t want to talk about what happened?’’ she asks, in a voice so gentle that I can’t even bring myself to imagine that she hates me for this. I shake my head as much as I can in this position, and mumble into the crook of her neck, ‘’no, please not tonight.’’ My voice cracks a little bit and I curse myself for this weakness when I feel her squeeze me a little tighter.

The voices from the living room have increased in volume, raucous laughter coming through the closed door. Just like that, the spell is broken, and we let go of each other. I yawn slightly, rubbing at my eyes. ‘’Do you want to go back to bed?’’ Wanda asks, surveying me with a cocked head. ‘’No, it’s okay, let’s go see the others and if I’m too tired I can always go to bed anyway.’’

*** 

Finally, we move to the living room, where Pepper and Maria have returned and are now laughing over some pictures on Maria’s phone. Kate has moved from the couch and is curled up comfortably between Pepper’s legs, kneeling on the plush carpet. They all smile when we enter, and I hide myself behind Wanda bashfully, flushing at the thought of Agatha or Kate having told them what they heard. They go right back to their conversation, though, and Wanda steers me towards where Pepper is sitting. I can feel Agatha’s eyes on me, and I remember the demand she made of me. Instantly, my heart picks up its pace and I can feel my hands beginning to sweat.

I’m saved from having to make the request, however, because Wanda notices how I haven’t sat down even when she indicated for me to do. She looks between me and Kate, who’s snuggled up close to Pepper. Then, she leans down to whisper in my ear ‘’do you want to sit up here, or kneel with Katie?’’ 

I fidget slightly, making eye contact, first with Agatha, who gives me a slow nod, and then with Kate, who’s looking up at me with a welcoming smile. ‘’It’s nice down here, you know?’’ she says, her voice friendly and teasing. And her encouragement, combined with Wanda’s reassuring squeeze to my hand, is enough to embolden me to lower myself down to my knees, even with everybody watching me. 

Wanda’s fingers find their way into my hair, Pepper and Maria continue with their laughter, Agatha winks at me, her smirk clearly showing her approval, and Kate’s fingers creep towards mine across the carpet, intertwining our fingers and squeezing in a gesture of sisterhood. It feels like she’s saying, see? Isn’t this nice? 

And it is, it really is. I squeeze back, and hope she knows what I mean.

━━━━━━━━━ ✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯ ━━━━━━━━━

Taglist:

@swirlofsnow @emeraldevan @ichala @romeo-the-cactus @lainjupi @lissaaaa145 @princessprudy @333hhm @im-my-hope @inluvwithfictionalwomen @imthenatynat @imnotawitch @gay-trash-in-a-paperbag @messuhp @loudsharkface @ripofflizzie @alwaysbimyself @how-to-disappearrr @s1ut4nat @cookiesimpt

Next chapter ➵➵

[shegeekery]

Pretend there's a clever title here (intro post)

Update: I'm going to start putting links to my fanfics in this post as well. If you prefer reading on AO3, my author page is here. Splintered (DW/Loki crossover, 13,439 words) Dream Therapy (One-shot about Erik Selvig, 1,308 words) Misfits (Jane Foster & Loki in Valhalla, 15,714 words)

Update: I have a side-blog for spiritual stuff now (@finally-learning-to-be-me ). This main blog is mostly for fandom and general stuff. Norse Loki and MCU Loki are two very different things in my mind, but it can get confusing if it’s all jumbled up together in one blog.

Guess I should probably introduce myself on this platform...

Hi everyone. I'm a geeky, AuDHD, NB, Gen-X software engineer and mom. I'm a long-time Doctor Who fan, but since the Loki S2 finale I've been completely obsessed. (I mean, seriously? David Tennant and RTD were coming back and suddenly all I could think about was Loki? How did that happen?) I just needed others to share with as I'm socially isolated and my family doesn't get into these things the way I do.

If you couldn't tell from my previous posts, I spend a lot of time thinking about (over-thinking?) certain characters. Nice to read all of your posts and know that I'm not alone in this!

I don't really get emotionally invested in ships, but I don't mind reading others' takes on them. Lokius, Sylkie, OB/Casey, whatever. It's all good. The only thing I actively avoid (in any fandom or in tabloids, for that matter) is anything that involves shipping real, living people. That's a line I'm not comfortable crossing. I've dabbled in writing fan-fic in the past and I think I may do so again in the not-too-distant future.

Other interests include studying history and connecting with other autistic folk online. I've stopped using other social media platforms, though — too much drama and not enough listening. Who needs it?

I know I'm older than the vast majority of people here and I'm more than a little self-conscious about it. I seriously considered not mentioning it at all, but I've spent most of my life trying to hide who I really am in a vain effort to "fit in" and just don't want to do that anymore. Hope that's okay with you all. Truth is, I've never connected easily with people my own age.

Views: social democrat, strongly pro-LGBTQI+ (one of my daughters is trans and nothing brings out the mama-bear in me like transphobic nonsense), anti-genocide, agnostic, anti-bullying of any kind.

[torchickentacos]

gonna be controversial. drew x brianna 👀

LMAOOO OH WHAT A FASCINATING CHOICE IRA KSDJSKDJ /positive (for the ship ask game)

So, uh, I don't think my opinion of it lies within 'i do/don't ship it' tbh! I DO ship it but in a 'let's watch this unfold like a car wreck' way and not a 'i want them to live happily ever after' way. But it's NOT a hateship thing. I REALLY DON'T HATE IT! I just think they're very "I can make them worse". I'll try to take this ask really seriously, as much as i know we meme about it in server shenanigans. Under cut bc I am a wordy individual.

Ok, so i'll just answer every part of the ask for this. side note that i get PERSONALLY icked out by shipping canon ten year olds at ten, so this is answering like, for ten years in the future. None of my opinions here are for the canon pokeani timeline because, uh, not my thing. I do not care to know what ten year olds are doing with their romantic lives. Love pokeani as a foundation for ship stuff but i don't work within the canon timeline for shipping. They're ten. they should be learning about photosynthesis or george washington or some shit.

Ship It

What made you ship it?

Again. It's the watching a car wreck in progress thing. I appreciate drama and mess and chaos and I FULLY think these two would bring that. It's kind of giving 'coordinating pr relationship' honestly. Don't think it would be that but the energy is there. I like ships that give me interesting stuff to work with, and with these two you've got two of the most interesting/messy personalities in Hoenn to mix like a live wire in a puddle of water, or kerosene and a faulty lighter. It's just INTERESTING and has a lot of potential to explore things like jealousy, longing, feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, settling, something doomed from the start, etc. again, not in a hate way. I do not say this because I prefer contest- not at ALL. I genuinely think, separately of any other biases, that they're just perfect to explore in a more messy context, especially if we want to factor in coordinating fame bullshit.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

Chaos aside, I do think they'd bring out different sides of each other that we don't see much of. They're both very... two-sided, not in a bad way, whereas characters like May tend to be pretty May no matter what. May's just herself all the time kind of, but Drew and Brianna act differently around different people.

Brianna, super soft and anxious and reverent around Drew as opposed to her insane competitive streak and go-getter mentality with May. Drew, kind of quiet and, uh, shockingly normal and polite around Brianna. It's genuinely interesting to contrast and mess with those sides of them and how they shift.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I think entertaining this ship in any capacity counts as an unpopular opinion tbh DNKsfjhkjHKJDFHJ

Don’t Ship It

Why don’t you ship it?

They would make each other and everyone around them SO much worse /positive. I ship and do not ship it for the exact same reason. I ship it the way one would ship hazardous materials. My contest bias plays very little into this tbh, I just cannot see them making it long term at all. It's giving 'summer fling but in a flinging themselves into therapy' way.

What would have made you like it?

Answering this one really genuinely- I think if Brianna had decided to become Drew's direct rival instead of May's, opting to get involved that way. It would have made more sense. Since in canon Brianna knows Drew likes May, I don't see how beating May would make Drew like Brianna more? I don't see her logic there honestly. But if Brianna saw that Drew had a thing for his rival and decided she could be his rival, too, that could have been more interesting than 'let me beat up this chick he likes' if nothing else.

I think it would have been super interesting to see Drew with another rival (Harley counts but like, not in this context). We could have compared and contrasted the dynamics in the rivalries more instead of it just being this:

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

Answering this one as intended as well. I think, assuming I had to look at it in a traditional happy ship way, I like the subversion of it. I think it would be great to give Brianna more of a focus in general. She's a FUN character with two very opposite sides to her and I'd have loved to see that personality shine more, minus the Spontaneous Combusken of it all /affectionate. Love that episode. It's a fucking mess. But yeah- I like it because it would give us more Brianna. She's FUN. Unhinged, absolutely, but fun.

TWO FINAL NOTES:

1.) Kind of way fucking funnier if Drew/Brianna/May goes the mako/korrasami route though, ngl lmfao.

2.) My opinion on them regarding the sims (iykyk) is that I need to kill that sentient wishing well. by the way.

[buffyspeak]

for the Character Asks, how about I give you your pick of any/all of our 3 established Gossip Girl Main Characters bc we're writing a whole show about these 3 rich dysfunctional gays lmao

hello YES! i enjoy our rich disaster gay trio sitcom (/dramedy) headcanon chats! work with for the other two so it would largely be headcanons anyway. i decided to go with jenny since the others don't have much canon to work with.

How I feel about this character: my beloved <3 more seriously, she's the character in gossip girl i find most interesting so this is going to be. long. anyway. she can be flawed and self-righteous and self-destructive and petty and she can be awfully, egregiously cruel, she knows how to take someone's insecurities or mistakes and hit them where it already hurts -- and despite all that, she's so sympathetic. because she's also ambitious and creative and starts off the show so optimistic and relatively happy-go-lucky, even with her parents' separation. she's cutthroat because she HAS to be, because she would never be able to hang in the upper east side if she wasn't, and that's the path she sees towards her dreams and doesn't she deserve her dreams? she knows she can hack it if she can just GET THROUGH THE DOOR. she's funny and charming and witty and SAD, sadder than i think anyone in the show realizes until she's imploded by the end of season three. she develops this armor of black clothes and sharp eyeliner and bitchy witticisms in season two and season three even moreso and so many people see this as character derailment or think it makes her awful or irredeemable somehow but i look at her and see a girl who's been tread on too many times, with chuck and with damien and with agnes and the guys in the club and what they almost did. with her father, even, and his lack of ability or willingness to understand where she's coming from, that she's not just sad or lonely at school, she's in DANGER. (evidence: the reference to the fact that apparently everyone except two girls in her chem class apparently tried to light her hair on fire?) so she builds up walls and she isolates and she makes decisions that maybe aren't great but she doesn't have the support she needs and all of this makes me feel so soft and sad for her and protective OF her and protective, even, of her right to be flawed, of her right to make mistakes. every other character in the show has equally (or even worse) egregious flaws that get excused or hand-waved by not only the fandom, by the narrative. jenny is held to a much different standard. the narrative screws her and casts her aside (and yes, i get that taylor momsen wanted to leave, i respect it, and i even respect that it's a teen drama and her exit was always going to be a little dramatic, but they did not have to do what they did) and if they didn't think all of this was the perfect storm for me to emotionally adopt her into the list of blorbos in constant rotation in my head-oven well. they've got another thing coming. tldr; jenny is the Born To Die trope except it's more like Metaphysical Innocence Born To Be "Corrupted". it's so clear what they're doing even in the pilot. i will go to my grave defending her.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: jenny x therapy LMAO. actually answer is uhhh idk. might be easier to give a list of my DEFINITE NOTPS (easily guessable, i'd assume.) i simultaneously DO headcanon jenny as having had a crush on blair and think they have interesting dynamic (and lots of angst and turmoil and admiration/jealousy psuedo-political warfare that makes me understand why people DO ship it) while also not really wanting it be like. A Thing. (i also think their relationship was too fraught and blair in particular was too awful to jenny for them to ever have a healthy romantic relationship, so.) i have... a soft spot for nate and jenny let's say? i don't think canon was the right time for them to be together, obviously, and i can easily see how some of her feelings could come across as comphet (especially with him being so constantly unavailable). at the same time, i think they have a lot of sweet moments that are rooted in like, affection and genuinely liking who the other person is. he's very gentle with her and i think jenny could have used a lot more gentle moments in the show. at the same time, i'm not sure they're ultimately the right fit for each other, and i don't really imagine that they're "end game", so to speak, but i do like reading the occasional post-canon fic about them. so that's where i land on them, i supposed. in actuality, i think jenny probably realizes she's queer in some capacity eventually, but that's a whole other question lmao.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: jenny and eric! but also jenny and dan! but also jenny and serena!! it's hard to pick lmao. i think the show does a pretty decent job showing the complexities of the friendship between jenny and eric given eric's limited screentime lmao. i think they hit something very grounded and real with eric and jenny's back and forth, which how much they love and need each other and also can't stand each other half the time, how their introduction was a really simple moment of jenny showing him compassion and him meeting her back with that effort full-force, with how they both value each other more than is common in heterosexual romance-based western cultures but also can't or won't or don't know that they need to or how to admit that to one another. it's a very honest depiction of a friendship at this age and of this kind, at least for me.

i was about to say that my feelings about dan and jenny are simpler, but i don't know if that's true? i might be repeating myself here, but if there's one thing gossip girl does well, it's grounded and realistic dynamics. they tease each other lightly and they tease each other too harshly sometimes, they fight, and they try to understand each other but often can't, they secret-keep for each other until that's no longer viable, and they do their best to protect one another and it's all just so balanced. one scene that stands out to me is when jenny steals the dress in season one and dan goes into talk to her and it's so clear he's had to take on somewhat of a parental role with her since their mom has been gone? and i'm sure that's frustrating for both jenny and for dan. but despite taking on this role of care, he doesn't treat her condescendingly or with any ire, he tries to be understanding and careful and thoughtful where rufus couldn't be. and while i'd say the show does a disservice to their relationship as time wears on, i think when dan gets the CHANCE to be a good big brother to her, he always always is. he tries to do right by her and even in her harsher, more isolating days, she still tries to trust him and lets herself be jenny around him moreso than she knows how to do with other people.

with jenny and serena -- i think i love what their dynamic could have been more than what it was? watching the pilot for the first time, i was sure there were going to be more big sisterly moments between them, but they end up going for conflict instead. which is understandable; like i said, it IS a drama. but serena tries so hard to be kind to jenny in the first season and while jenny wants to BE blair, i think serena's kindness lets her hold onto her dream a little longer, imagine that there's a world where she gets in with the in-crowd and someone like serena is there to back her up. i also think there's a really intriguing theme of jenny's arc paralleling what's serena's been through in terms of assault and sexual exploitation. the "the sixteen year old virgin" really exemplifies how serena WANTS to protect jenny from going down a path of self-destruction that could lead to her getting hurt even more. and just. that's an interesting but woefully underexplored dynamic. she also has the best approach (at first) in that episode which is to just like. talk to jenny like a peer. explain her worries over a shared pint of ice cream. it's only when she panics and starts Plotting that it becomes Too Much. anyway. there's a world in which their relationship was meatier and i want to live in it!

My unpopular opinion about this character: she deserved way better than the narrative throwing her under the bus to prioritize ch*ck.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: i think i wish dan would have found out somehow about jenny getting drugged by agnes. on the one hand, nate telling him maybe would Kind of Not Be Cool, buuut it's tv the characters are allowed to be flawed and messy. plus! it makes the most sense. i feel genuinely feel that if dan found that out, she would be able to open up to him and they would figure out what was best for her (going to stay with their mom for senior year, lots and lots of therapy) sooner and without the ch*ck of it all.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Okay I think I have a ship that is not Zutara related but still fits the rules, it’s Azula/Therapy. I’d like to now what your opinion is about this shit, since I can stand it. Everyone in her age is traumatized and would need therapy but Azula get singled out because 1. Crazy 🙄 2. I don’t like her.

If it’s rule confirming just ignore and delete the ask.

I am not deleting it because as a disabled/mentally ill person, BOY, the ableism makes me mad. People could just say "I don't like Azula/any ship that has Azula in it", but nooooooo, they have to go "Well, she's mentally ill so OBVIOUSLY that means she is incapable of feeling love/it is impossible for someone to love her"

I seriously don't understand how people think that's an okay thing to say. Imagine if people went "I ship Toph X Vision" or "I ship Theo X Walking" or "I ship Zuko X A non-scarred face." It's fucking gross.

[frickingnerd]

For the Ask Game give me... Fire Emblem 3 Houses and Hopes (since they have the same setting)

answers for the ask game under the cut!

3 male characters I love:

only three? this is really hard for this game 🥺 one of them has to be dimitri, who's just my absolute favorite fire emblem guy out there. i think the other two would have to be claude and ferdinand. i love all three of them so much, they have such compelling stories and their s-supports are absolutely adorable! plus, they all got great va's! honorable mentions to sylvain and seteth (or just every male student 👉🏻👈🏻)

3 female characters I love:

my favorite fire emblem girl is dorothea! i absolutely adore her and i'm so glad she's one of the bi options! she also says one of my favorite lines in the entire game. spoiler: if you kill ferdie but have dorothea recruited, she'll remind you of the times when he was on your side and just... got that part always makes me cry! plus, she's voiced by allegra clark who i adore! that woman is so talented and funny, she's genuinely perfect for the role as dorothea!

my second favorite girl is petra who's just really cute. her little language mistakes are adorable and she's such a genuinely kind person. i absolutely love her!

third place is hard, but i think i have to go with flayn! she's just such a sweet heart and such a funny character! plus i love her va as well (her va & seteth's va act like actual siblings in all their interviews togethers and it's both adorable & very funny).

3 romantic ships I love:

byleth and dimitri, for sure! this is absolutely a self insert situation, i'm not even going to hide it. i love dimitri and his relationship with byleth is very sweet, but i'm def cheating a bit by picking them.

second place has to be dorothea and ferdinand! i love both of them so much individually but they somehow get even better when they're together??? i love their A support in three hopes, where they are just yelling at each other and everyone assumes they are a couple. they are definitely in love and nobody can convince me otherwise. plus, again, their va's have such a funny dynamic with each other and they are great individually, but even better together.

i can't actually decide on a third pairing because i like all those ships equally, but some that come to my mind are lysithea x cyril (very cute & wholesome), edelgard x claude (very interesting dynamic; likely frenemies to lovers) and like... pretty much all the blue lions with each other. seriously, these people should all date each other. i can't even pick a fav blue lions ship!

3 platonic dynamics I love:

my favorite platonic pairing is seteth and flayn! they are really funny but they also deeply care for each other. but seriously, the seteth & flayn related memes are some of the funniest ones in the FE3H fandom!

claude, dimitri and edelgard are another platonic dynamic i love! there is just so much conflict, but especially three hopes shows that they can work together well (and they should smh 😔). if they just had some group therapy, they could be great friends!

and my third pick is claude and flayn! flayn is such a sweet and innocent character, but claude being this chaotic schemer would absolutely be a bad influence, but in the funniest way possible. he's like an older brother that teaches her curse words and seteth would hate him for that!

3 favorite moments in canon:

this is a bit hard, but i think my favorite scenes from three houses are the reunion with dimitri and the reunion with edelgard. the reunion with dimitri was very bittersweet, but mostly beautiful, while the reunion with edelgard was much more heartbreaking. her "when next we meet, one of us will breathe their last" absolutely kills me everytime. my third favorite moment in canon comes from three hopes, when dimitri spares edelgard at the end of his route and edelgard realizes that dimitri is the boy she used to know as a child. like, if only they had realized it sooner... :')

3 favorite headcanons:

headcanon number one is that claude is an older brother figure to flayn (& also to cyril, but i'll be focusing more on flayn–). like, he's absolutely a bad influence to her and he keeps telling her to do what she wants and stop listening to seteth so much, but flayn is always super worried about disobeying seteth. but over time, claude does get her to do more things she wouldn't have done otherwise, like taking her to the market and buying her sweets, teaching her slang & curses or even getting her to skip classes on occasion.

slightly related but i headcanon that seteth & rhea do not understand teenage slang. like those two are old and cringe and i mean this in the nicest way possible! they are constantly asking the other teachers what those students meant when calling them "dilf" or "mommy" and if that meant that they view them as a mother figure. meanwhile the other teachers (mostly manuela, shamir & catherine) are trying so hard to let them think that those are just compliments, while also trying to figure out which student said that, so they can give them detention... seteth and rhea also keep using slang the wrong way and nobody dares to tell them.

and my third headcanon? uhmm... poly blue lions! they are all dating each other. i don't make the rules here.

3 least favorite things about it:

this one isn't too bad, but the first part of each route (white clouds) gets a bit boring after multiple playthroughs. it would've been nice if they switched up the missions a bit, to fit the individual classes more.

another thing i dislike is that you can't train & have supports with dimitri for quite a while after the time skip. like, i get that he's busy with being depressed right now, but gameplay wise it gets really annoying when everyone surpasses him, because he can't be trained.

and another thing that isn't too bad but still a bit of a waste is the fact that there isn't a golden route. i feel like this could've worked very well, if they had jusr established that every time a new playthrough starts, byleth rewinds time with the divine pulse and she keeps all the memories of former events, so she can create a future where everyone lives. but this one is more of a nitpick than actual criticism.

[cecebookworm07]

Okay, so I recently saw a comment on Pinterest saying something along the lines of “Yeah, but everyone in the Lost Cities likes so Sophie—” in a clearly mocking manner (the post was originally from here and was about how OP didn’t get why the fandom blamed Sophie for breaking Keefe and Fitz’s relationship) and I disagree to some degree.

Recently I started rereading and annotating the whole series and I’m halfway through book one, and I’m beginning to put together exactly what all of the guys saw in her. I mean seriously, when you put it together I can kind of understand why each of them fell for her.

Dex was 100% the first one to fall for her and that was because she was the first friend he ever had. Prior to there first meeting, he was a total outcast. Everybody treated him like crap because his parents were a “bad match”. Then this random girl his age shows up and is constantly talking about how she disagrees with the whole system. Of course he was going to fall for her (regardless of the whole being legally cousins thing I guess?). But seriously, I can understand why he fell for her. She was the first person to take him seriously and treat him like a normal person, and she was more then willing to keep his technopathy a secret if it kept him happy. For awhile, in his eyes at least, she was the only person who looked at him as something more. Although I’ll always ship him and Biana because of there enemies to lovers nerd boy x popular girl vibes.

Fitz is slightly harder for me to analyze because I haven’t reread any of the books recently enough to remember any specific moments of him complimenting her except regarding how powerful she is (more on that later). From what I do know with book one at least, is that I don’t think he liked her before Exile. For most of the first book he’s an awkward teenage boy holding her at arms length because he perceives her as more of a “close” friend, I would say what changes this is the infamous camp fire scene from Exile (again, take that with a grain of salt as I don’t remember many specific details). But regardless, what he likes about her isn’t a trait or a moment, it’s simply a mix of convenience and how arguably impressive he is. I mean, unlike the rest of the fandom I kind of just look at him as a mildly spoiled probably traumatized teenage boy so I don’t carry an obscene amount of hatred for him, but that’s still what I assume he liked about her. I mean seriously, his whole mentality in Flashback (again, take this with a grain of salt and feel free to correct me) is that he’s a Vacker and she’s the Moonlark, so they’d obviously be the perfect match cus there both strong. Then like 99.9 percent of the time his compliments involve how powerful he is. I don’t fault him for these feelings as you can’t control your own feelings, but you can control your actions so like -10 points from Fitz for being an ass to Keefe.

Then, finally, Keefe. I’m trying to be unbiased here but it’s SoKeefe sooooooooooo… yeah. Don’t expect this to be entirely neutral because I’m a former SoFitz shipper turned SoKeefe + Fitz Therapy so I definitely have my own opinions. Anyway, judging by what he says in Stellarlune, we can assume that Keefe was vaguely attracted to her in book one. I realize a lot of people will find that unrealistic, but he was also like 13-14 at the time and as a fellow teenager I know people who meet someone for a minute and already attracted to them. Not quite a crush yet, but definitely something. I would say probably one of the moments he started to actually fall for was when she encounters Keefe and his dad talking during midterms. Keefe can feel how worried she is about him and how disgusted she is by his father. Sure other people may care, but Sophie was pretty much about to beat Cassius after encounter one. Anyway, after that we know all the cute moments. The flight with Silveny, the window sleepovers, the betrayal at the end of Neverseen, Keefe coming back for her at the peace summit, blah blah blah. There are so many. But this isn’t a SoKeefe post, so I digress, this is about why they like her. And I think Keefe’s is pretty obvious. She’s the calm to his chaos, the serious to his (not so) comedy. While she has her moments of both, usually when Keefe isn’t, for the most part the two of them are opposites. (Regardless of the whole Lodestar Initiative V.S. Project Moonlark thing). They balance each other out and are always there when one needs the other. I mean seriously, look at how they were in Stellarlune. Sophie was basically on the brink of going full blown impulsive anti hero (something usually left for Keefe), meanwhile (from what we know) Keefe was playing this very cautious stay out of trouble sort of game (usually reserved for Sophie) so there positions basically swapped while still balancing each other out in the end.

Anyway, I don’t know how to end this. I just wanted to say it. As I reread this series I’m gonna be posting a lot more because I already have a lot of thoughts. Mostly on how in retrospect most of book one is a lot of set up.

[vinyls-and-valentines]

Do you think korse has any rights

Hmmm. Hard to tell. DD Korse? That man has one right and one right only, which is the right to shut the fuck up. Comic Korse? He has the right to some goddamn therapy. Like, please someone get this man therapy. Him and Val need all the therapy

[slothgiirl]

the spy part 1(keith x reader)

8k. explicit content. while on medical leave reader meets the red paladin of voltron during the war against Zarkon.

The corridors are well lit. It’s like being in a brand new hospital, this ship in the rebel fleet. 

People hustle around, landing, taking off in smaller ships to distant planets. Your hand goes to your arm. The medic had given you a movement’s leave, so you were resting for now on this ever moving ship. 

Outside the widows, you spy an assortment of ships, each one’s origins clear from the design. So many planets, so many peoples banding together against Zarkon. You’d win the war. 

It was what you kept telling yourself. 

You would. 

It was just a matter of time.

You round the corner, stretching your arm across your chest, a simple form of physical therapy in deep space. You hadn’t seen earth since being deployed. The galaxy garrison seemed like a dream from another life. You had been on track for the chemistry department, long term missions to mars to analyze soil and dust, not this, not a war. You take a breath. 

And spot the Red Paladin. 

He’s one of the most recognizable people in the universe, and his grungy hair and distinctive outfit does him no favors. You’d never seen him before, not in the flesh. Sure. Voltron had saved your ass a handful of times. You wouldn’t have survived the assault on Arrakis if Voltron hadn’t rammed the shield. Trapped. Piloting a fighter craft that was closer to a mosquito irritating the Galra then pushing them back.

But you hardly knew him.

He’s gripping the railing tightly, trying to camouflage into the wall as an alien with crystalline blue skin and hair like saturated indigo leans into him. 

The line of his shoulders is taut, brittle. 

You don’t even think. 

“There you are,” you force yourself to be synthetically cheerful as you smile easily at the paladin, who you realize quickly you don’t know his name but you know what he is and that must be an awful feeling, being so recognizable without being known. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” you lied, elbowing the blue alien out of the way. You could never tell much from a single glance at themis species despite their largely humanoid appearance. 

You put your hand on his arm loosely, “come on, we’re late enough and you know how annoyed the others get.” Good, that seemed convincing enough. 

The red paladin’s eyes go wide, his mouth a grimace and it’s then that you notice the feverish flush to his skin. 

But he doesn’t pull away or argue. 

You ignore the alien and decide small talk was the way to go until you put some distance, “I’m kind of hurt you didn’t come visit me while I was healing,” you stick close to the truth, “but since it only took an hour? a varga? for me to heal I won’t hold it against you.” He’s too warm.

Maybe the space flu?

Was that even a thing?

You weren't sure. 

Mostly, you snuck into work camps and blew up strategic targets using whatever you could get your hands on to make a bomb. The chemistry came in handy. 

He sways as he walks, looking like your roommate at the garrison after a few too many hits after an exam. “Do I know you?”

You flush, embarrassed. “Sorry, I just,” you look back, but the alien’s been left a couple turns back, “you looked uncomfortable.” You take a step back, letting go of him. “Are you okay?” 

His expression furrows, mouth a pinched line as he goes from suspicious to annoyed, takes a u-turn back to suspicious as he studies you, before relaxing. “Yeah. yeah. . .who are you?”

You introduce yourself, taking on the meaningless garrison designation at the end, “technically second year member, though I’ve been with the runners mostly.” No designation more than a number. 

“You do look human,” he replies simply, moving to get a look at your ears, “not many of those out here.”

“And yet somehow the sentries always look the other way,” you muse, “not very bright. I’m almost convinced the Empire’s in it’s failing bureaucracy days.” 

He winces, before deadpanning, “eh, I don’t know how useful a lion is against the DMV.” 

You laugh. 

He takes slow deliberate breaths, steadying himself, “I’m Keith.”

“Seriously though, do you need to see a medic?” He looked in serious need of a tylenol. The ships were usually crisp, you wore a jacket most of the time to stave off the permanent chill. 

Keith shakes his head, chewing his lip before meeting your gaze with an intense concentration in his violet eyes, as if he was gauging how much titrant he could add before hitting the endpoint and if half a drop was worth the risk. “I’m just. . .going through something.”

“Anyone I can call for you?” You weren't about to abandon him here. Sure, he was a paladin and could probably look after himself. But you couldn’t in good conscience walk away. 

He swallows, looking down for a moment and you are startled to find how much you miss his attention boring into you with the loveliest eyes you’d ever seen. 

“No,” Keith replies mulishly as he jerks away from you. “I’m fine.”

Which was a total lie. It was obvious he wasn’t feeling well but you weren’t about to get on his case. You were sure he had people for that. He wasn’t some random soldier in arms with you that you watched out for and hoped not to have to watch die. 

You swallow the bitter thought away, crossing your arms over your chest.

Leaning back against the hall, you watch evenly as Keith stumbles, catching himself on the wall. His mouth is a drawn line of determination. 

You didn’t understand why. 

There was aid here. It wasn’t the same as crawling through cramped mining tunnels and swallowing back pain forcing yourself to work through it until the mission was accomplished. 

“Do you need help,” you ask.

“No.” He leans a hand against the wall.

You raise a brow, wondering if he would pass out for whatever weird space flu he had clearly caught and you could only hope it was nothing like the infections that ran rampant in the work camps, or if he would give in and accept your offer of help. The former seemed more likely. 

You don’t ditch him though, focusing your attention on the porthole to the stars. 

There was no rush: no reason to help him by force. People didn’t learn if you babied them you’d caught on quick back on earth during your tutoring hours. You had to let them fall and smash their face in sometimes. 

So you stay, watching the stars.

Keith makes no move to take another step. 

It still got you, looking out into the vastness of space and realizing this really was your life now, you were out here, further than you’d ever dreamed. Everywhere you looked, novel stars, distant planets teaming with life. You could have done without the war, but it was what it was. 

“And here I thought Mars would be the furthest I’d go,” you comment more to yourself than Keith. 

The red paladin makes a small sound of acknowledgement. 

“Earth’s, or was, at the beginning of our space age. People had barely begun to live on the research bases on Mars,” you watch him out of the corner of your eye in case he really does pass out, “so no Star Trek for me but now I’m here.” 

“There’s a war going on.”

You turn over to look at him, sort of annoyed because yeah you got that, spent enough time in the trenches without a fancy lion spaceship, but the bubbling annoyance dissipates when you see the upturned corners of his mouth. Keith was teasing you. 

Shifting your weight, you add, “yeah well, instead of being a footnote in a Mars base’s history I’ll be a footnote in this war instead.” Gallows humor. You needed a lot of that when regularly infiltrating camps and posing as a slave, as a prisoner, the bottom of the barrel that wouldn’t get a second glance from the Galra soldiers. 

He frowns. “I don't think anyone’s just a footnote.”

“I was joking.”

“Oh.” Keith looks away.

You feel bad. “It’s probably better not to be so cynical,” you muse, “but it’s like the vice president thing, no one remembers them unless the president gets assassinated.” God you couldn’t help how dark your humor could veer even when trying to be positive. 

He looks over at you, head tilted, considering. Despite being standoffish, Keith was easy to read unlike the slick space pirates you’d encountered. 

You meet his gaze head on. 

“I might need some help,” he allows. 

You bite the inside of your cheek, fighting the smile that pulled at the corners of your mouth. “If you’re sure,” you utter, regarding him carefully and unable to keep the teasing from your voice. You shouldn’t. You barely knew him and what little you’d learned made it clear he wouldn’t take well to your teasing. 

War made quick brothers out of everyone. 

But Keith held himself afar.

A questioning glance danced in his uniquely violet eyes as he tried to get a read on you. “I am.” 

You nod, stepping besides him and wrapping an arm around his waist. You were always caught by surprise by how heavy a grown adult could be. And depending on the alien. . .

He takes a step, still holding himself afar from you, barely resting any weight on you. His muscles were stiff under your touch, back rigid that matched the uncomfortable look on his chiselled features. 

You follow his lead. 

At Keith’s sedate pace, it would take quite a while before you dropped him off where you needed to go. Being personable was part of being a leader or it’d lead to mutiny. Not that you had ever gotten that far. The Galaxy Garrison had slapped the graduation badge on your uniform and sent you into space. 

You scrabble for familiar territory, earth and the garrison. The Black Paladin was a Garrison member returned from the grave. Rumor had it all the paladins were garrison deserters. 

Veronica McCain did share a familiar resemblance with the blue paladin. It was probably true. 

“I attended the Garrison campus at Guiana,” you offer. “I was hoping for Texas or Florida to be closer to home, but I didn’t test into pilot or engineer.” 

Keith makes a sound in the back of his throat. 

Even through the fabric of his uniform, he felt warm. How anybody could be warm in such cold halls was anybody’s guess. A permanent chill had sunk its way into your bones. You missed the humid heat of Guiana. 

“It was nice though. The jungle was pretty close and it was always hot,” you tell him. “I thought I wouldn’t miss the humidity, step outside and it was like having just showered but I do. These ships have to be at 15 C.” 

“Texas is hot too.” Keith utters quietly. 

“Isn’t the desert cold at night though,” you ask, already knowing the answer. It had been basic earth science. 

“Yeah. It is.” There’s longing in his voice. You wish he’d say more just to hear him speak. 

Warmth spreads, an embarrassing tell, through your cheeks. 

“I did miss the snow while there,” you continue, “it didn’t snow much up in Vancouver but it was never as hot as Guiana, and the rain was warm!” You had never gotten over that. The rain would spot and start throughout the day but the sun would keep on shining. 

“What were you,” Keith asks bluntly.

“Chemisist, more the physical and inorganic type,” you admit, “it was fun doing wet labs.” That had gotten you hooked back in regular school. “Then got shunted to command track after a few too many volunteering opportunities. Guess the lesson there’s to not try too hard.”

That gets a laugh out of him. 

“You,” you ask him as he shifts more of his weight onto you, finally accepting the help he asked for. Stubborn guy. 

“Pilot.”

You look over at him, his wild hair brushing against your cheek and the simple action shouldn’t excite you but it does. He was hot with sharp features offset by a certain enthralling earnestness but he could run a comb through his hair.

Keith didn’t seem the pilot type: arrogant, loud, generally strong personalities. 

“You any good,” you ask though you’ve heard about Voltron so he has to be pretty fucking good to be part of them. How did Voltron choose its pilots?

He smirks easily, close to a smile at the mere mention of piloting and you knew that moment he loved it: didn’t matter if he was good at it or not. You swallow hard as anticipation buzzes under your skin for no good reason. 

Get your head out of the gutter, you tell yourself. 

“I’m a pretty good pilot,” Keith answers, somehow managing to sound like he’s stating a fact instead of bragging. 

“Just pretty good?” You smile at him, letting him know you were only joking around as you both round another corner, finally making it to the transient quarters. People were always dropping in and out of mobile spaceports like these. 

He snorts. “Better than most.” Keith shrugs, smiling over at you. 

“Don’t be modest on my account,” you utter, looking away, not sure what to do about the growing heat in your body that had nothing to do with temperature controls. 

“It’s true,” he says simply. 

Honesty was a hard thing to come by. You were finding more and more reasons to like the red paladin as you reach his current room. No special treatment here. 

Or maybe it was politics and optics, making sure everyone knew Voltron was of the people and not aiming to replace Zarkon as rulers of the universe. 

Keith places a hand against the door, putting space between you both.

You swallow, glancing away, feeling some of the tension ease. 

“You sure you don’t want me to send a medic,” you ask him, looking over at his striking eyes. The heat under your skin is a live wire: you curl your toes in your shoes. People usually didn’t affect you this much. Even the smell of him was so distinct, drawing you in. 

It was an unprecedented reaction. 

He must feel it too. 

Keith studies you with an enraptured fascination shining in his wide eyes, mouth parted on the verge of answering. Both your bodies sway towards each other like branches in the wind: sunflowers orienting towards the sun. 

You shift your weight from one foot to another. 

It relieves enough tension for you to shift away. 

“No. No medic,” Keith finally answers. 

“Right then.” But you don’t make a move to leave. 

He says nothing. 

The silence is broken by the hum of the ship's engines under your feet. People move about and you can hear their footsteps echoing on the metal floors. 

Supposedly quintessence powered ships smelled like ozone. 

This one was powered by crystals and some Olkari engine. You wouldn't know the specifics, they were beyond you. And not your job. 

You look back at him, ready to leave. The space between you could so easily tilt to awkward and you weren’t sure what you were doing or why you found yourself so entranced by Keith. You barely knew him. You didn’t want to be one of the soldiers with a photograph in your pocket and a farflung hope that you’d-

He’s looking at you, cautious, movements slow and deliberate as if he’s caught between thinking and simply doing. 

Then Keith’s demeanour becomes determined: deciding to take the leap without looking down. He cups your cheeks in his hands and kisses you.

For a second you’re baffled, trying to figure out how you got to point B when this wasn’t a bar and you had no agenda, before you shrug and kiss him back. Keith was undeniably attractive. He was even a bit taller than you which was compelling, you were on the tall side for a girl. 

It’s not some unsolvable thought experiment, you kiss him back.

And a current of static electricity runs through your core. Heat pools after only just a kiss that steals your breath away. 

You can’t get enough, his hands warm against your skin, igniting a delicious sensation in your very core. You want more. You kiss him harder, your mouth against his, sucking on his bottom lip. 

Your hands clutch at the fabric of his shift.

Keith kisses you back, matching your frenzied energy, his mouth parting against yours and pulling you flush against his chest. 

It does nothing to dissolve the tension, the charged energy between you spikes. Like a fire fed by wood it grew. 

It was a heady feeling, his hands caressing your cheeks as Keith kissed you with a vigor you thought only existed in soapy dramas. Heat pools in your belly like a sinking stone: you liked his intensity. 

Keith pulls away, catching his breath, resting his forehead against yours. 

Some of the muddled list clears from your head, now completely in the gutter as you press Keith against the door to his room. 

Oh. . .were you really doing this?

Keith looks a fuckable mess, his eyes flickering from your lips to your eyes. Still, he hesitates. 

You can feel the question linger in the air, can feel it in the featherlight touch of his hands ghosting over your cheeks as he makes to pull away, to let you go if you want to turn back now. But you don’t.

You want to run your hands through his hair. You’re practically burning up wondering how Keith would look splayed on the bed between your thighs. . .how he would feel. 

Would he be just as intense in bed as he fucked you? 

“You feel it too,” he asks quietly.

You furrow your brows, thrown. There were a lot of intense emotions coursing through you all narrowed down to feeling horny as a teenager back on earth. Masturbation only went so far. 

You swallow, trying to rack your brain cells together and say something. Yeah. It was a bit. . .much. Space much. But that didn’t make any sense. You hadn’t taken any drinks from strangers. 

The connection was too strong to discount the possibility of space weirdness affecting both of you. 

“Yeah,” you reply, sounding more whiny than you’d like to. The apex of your thighs throbbed with want. Anticipation had built up and he was right there; Keith

s breath fanned over you, his forehead against yours like a touchpoint. 

Your fingers were still curled into the fabric of his shirt. 

In the hall. 

Where anyone could see. 

“So what now,” you ask, “medic?”

Keith snorts, “No. I just-do you want to come inside?”

You smirk. Everyone knew what that meant. There were so many variations with the same outcome. 

“Yeah. Okay.” You put a pin in any alien space nonsense and slip inside Keith’s assigned quarters for however long Voltron was here for.

The lights are off. You don’t bother to study the room when Keith crushes his mouth against yours. You stumble around in the dark, feeling emboldened now that he’d voiced an invitation, he wanted this as much as you did, and run your hands up his chest. He was lean and lithe. Keith leans into your touch, a shiver running down his spine when you run your fingers through his hair and run your tongue over his bottom lip. 

Keith moans, the sound scratchy from the back of his throat excites you. 

It was thrilling to know you could elicit such a response from someone. You liked feeling hot and sexy. And from a guy like Keith who you were vibing with. . .

He finds the jagged hem of your cut tank top, which had doubled as a bandage, and slides his hands under your shirt. His fingers are calloused, skin hot against yours and there was always something so carnal about skin on skin touch. Keith clutches at your sides and leads you backwards. 

You trust that he knows the layout.

Your mind has boiled down to simple desires. 

“Keith,” you mumble against his mouth as he guides your hips against his and you feel his cock beneath the fabric. It goes straight to your ego: straight to your pussy. 

More heat. It’s unbearable how much your body throbs and you moan against him, against his lips, your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling.

“Mhm,” he asks, just as overcome with lust as you were. Keith tilts his head up, and you kiss his jaw, kiss the side of his throat, nipping at the flesh and enjoying the breathy moans he makes as your knees hit the bed. 

You want more. 

You move your hands to his shoulders, “let's get this off,” you utter softly, pushing at his jacket. 

“Okay,” he replies, crowding you against his bed until you have no choice but to sit down. Keith discards his jacket, and pulls his shirt over his head. 

Your breath hitches in your throat. It’s dark. You can’t see him well. You still react like a charged electron. 

“Now you,” Keith states simply, not exactly a command. It was nice, the lack of mind games and subterfuge. 

You scoot up further on the bed, shrugging your bomber jacket off. 

He’s watching. 

Awkwardness creeps up on you. There was no sexy way to take off a sports bra. 

You pull your shirt over your head, tossing it aside carelessly. Then you peel off your sports bra. The elastic worked too well. 

Keith’s sitting up on his knees.

“You’re beautiful,” he states.

“Come here,” you utter, inviting him closer. 

He complies readily, cupping your cheek and kissing your mouth eagerly, closer to a lover than a random encounter. 

You grab his other hand, guiding him up to your chest, to your breast. Keith runs his thumb over your nipple, gooseflesh rises on your skin. He trails bruising kisses down your throat. 

Your breath catches in your throat. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him flush against you, savoring the feel of his chest against yours. 

“Fuck,” you groan as Keith bites down hard at the crook of your neck, harder than you’d expected. 

He stills. “I’m-I,” making to pull away.

“No,” you reach for him, tilting his head up as you move to straddle his waist, “it’s okay. I just didn’t expect it.”

“I won’t do it again,” he stammers out. 

“I didn't say I didn't like it.” You push him down against the bed, topping him. “Just warn a girl.”

Keith wraps his hands around your hips, tugging at the waistband of your trousers. “These are kind of in the way.”

Laughing, you reply, “could say the same to you.” Your hands pop the button of his jeans. 

It’s a fumble to pull your trousers down. Neither of you care, eager to get on with it. He shoves his jeans down his legs along with his boxers. 

You straddle Keith, completely naked and lean down to capture his lips against yours. His cock twitches against your thigh and your toes curl up. His tongue runs over your top lip, you part your mouth, letting him in. 

You cup his cheeks between your hands, your hips rolling against his. 

He thrusts feverishly against you. His fingers dig into your bare hips, skin against skin. 

“Come here,” Keith utters hoarsely, “I wanna fuck you.” 

“Think I’d rather ride you,” you reply back breathlessly.

“You can do that after,” he whines, a rumble emanating from his chest but your head is too fucked up to make sense of it. 

You sit up, hands on his chest. “That’s presumptuous of you.” 

Keith grins, wrapping his hands around your wrists, and rolls you over so he’s on top. “Is it,” he asks rhetorically as his hand reaches between your thighs, ghosting over the wetness of your pussy, “when you’re this wet?”

You moan, canting your hips, cashing the feel of his hand, wanting relief. It was a mounting pressure in your belly, a forest fire under your skin and you needed Keith. “Okay. yeah,” you nod, closing your eyes when Keith bent his head and licked a stripe from your nipple to your collarbone. You whimper, lost in the sensation. 

“Tell me what you want,” Keith asks. 

“Fuck me. Please fuck me,” you utter, you hands clutchinf at his shoulders, bringing him flush agaisnt you. 

Keith aquieses. 

You bend your knees, spreading your legs as he positions his cock. 

“Oh fuck,” Keith mutters as he pushes into you. 

Fuck indeed. You moan his name without thought, closing your eyes and laying your head back against the bed. His cock fills you up, sliding into your pussy with ease given how turned on you were. 

Your fingers dig into his shoulders as he stretches you out. 

“God, yes,” you utter dazed. 

Keith moves his hips. You roll your hips up to meet him. He nips at your collarbone as he thrusts into you with favour. 

As promised he fucks you.

Keith captures your mouth in a kiss that catches the moans you make as he reaches between you and runs his thumb over your clit. His pace, the way he was kissing you madly. . .the heat that had been building since you’d met him comes crashing down. 

You come. 

Leaving you boneless. 

“Keith,” you whimper.

“Sh,” he tells you, kissing the shell of your ear, “let me make you feel good.”

“You..sort of already did,” you utter completely fucked out. 

“Turn over.” Keith says even as he’s already helping you move, his arms supporting your weight. He presses his lips on the back of your neck, as he grabs a pillow and sets it under you. 

You bring up your knees, laying on your legs, “thought I was going to go next,” you tease, reaching up to card your fingers through his hair. 

He stills, “if you. . .”

“No. No,” you shrug, “I did ask you to fuck me.”

Keith runs his hands over your shoulders, sliding down your sides. He squeezes your ass with his hands. 

“Best two out of three,” you offer, half joking half serious because while you were still blissed out from having just orgasmed, you could already feel your pussy clench with anticipation. Seriously, the effect he had on you-

You can feel his smile against your skin, “If you think you can handle it.”

“I’ll hold you to it,” you reply, arching your back into him, titling your head back, and pulling his hair so you could kiss him. It was sloppy, and the angle was awkward, but none of it mattered when Keith stroked your pussy with his fingers, dipping into your wet folds. 

Already stimulated, you shudder with pleasure. 

Your tongue strokes his in an open mouthed kiss. He tastes as good as he smells, Keith filling up your senses like an incense stick wafting through a room. 

He wraps an arm around your chest, his hand caressing your breast, pulling you against his chest, both of you melding together. Keith thrusts his cock into you again. 

You squeeze your eyes shut, hand fisting the sheets of his bed, moaning into his mouth. 

It was a combination of his cock in you, his thumb rolling your nipple in his hand, that set you aflame. 

You couldn’t get enough, your hips jerking back, up to meet his. Keith fucks you against the bed. 

He palms your breast in his hand, pulling you up to him, keeping you close as he plants a kiss at the juncture of your ear and jaw, on the side of your neck whilst nipping the skin and you moan, his cock hitting just the right spot as he slams into you. 

First he grows comfortable, pulling almost entirely out before thrusting hard as he finds a pace that leaves you both a mess. 

“Right there, right there,” you utter. 

“Tell me how good I make you feel.”

He punctuates his words with a roll of his hips, his fingers draw a circle around your clit without giving you the satisfaction you desperately seek, already building up to another climax. 

You nod jerkily. “So fucking good Keith. Your cock feels so fucking good,” you manage to reply.

He speeds up, faster, deeper, at your words. The bedframe, bolted down into the floor, creaks. 

“Just like that.” You moan wantonly. “Right there.”

He responds to your words, pulling out to the head of his cock, teasing your entrance just so before slamming back in.

You shut your eyes and whimper, over sensitive to your very marrow. It was too much. Keith was trailing kisses down your spine, his breath warm, his cock twitching inside your filling every inch of your pussy up. 

With a shudder, you come, stars behind your eyelids and short circuiting. You never knew sex could be this amazing. Not in real life. 

You got what people meant about the right partner. 

The right sexual energy to match. 

You collapse, a puppet with its strings cut. Keith’s hand across your chest is the only thing keeping you from melding into the mattress like a blob. His hips thrust against your ass mindlessly, chasing his own climax.

With another couple of thrusts, his hips snapping against you, Keith moans your name and comes undone behind you. 

He comes inside you, hot and sticky.

His hand grasps the back of your neck, holding you in place as he comes inside you. It’s unexpectedly hot. You didn’t know you could like this in bed. 

You didn’t know how much you liked an obstinate expression with wide eyes until you met Keith. He had the type of soulful eyes you could drown in. 

He had drawn out something in you that you hadn’t even been aware of. 

Your thoughts center on him as he finishes inside you. 

“You take my dick so good,” he says with a surprising amount of softness for what amounts to a one night stand and a pang strikes your chest, wishing you had met him under better circumstances where there might be-

Keith gets off you, slumping next to you on the bed. 

There’s a thrum of satisfaction running through you as you look at his face in profile. The insane idea that you might just stay and cuddle plants itself. 

That was impossible.

It was time to cut and run.

Sure, he’d fucked you. But he was also still half a stranger. No matter how jumbled your thoughts were, you refused to give into the pull he had on you. 

You wanted to lay there with him. 

Keith blinks slowly, looking as blissed out as you feel, reaching out a hand towards you, but stopping himself halfway. 

You feel a little disappointed, but say nothing. It was just a one off thing you remind yourself, no matter how you felt. 

Now that you can think a little more clearly, though the sensation remains like a lump in your throat that starts there no matter how much you swallow, you glance around the dark room. Only the barest red lights on the floor illuminate enough to cast shadows. 

Keith’s own eyes reflect the light like a cat. Just a glimmer of traffic sign yellow. 

But you’re too tired to think, so you file it away in your head under the nebulous details you’ve learned about the red paladin.  

You blink, grimancing as Keith’s come runs down your thigh onto the sheets. At least they weren’t yours. 

He closes his eyes. 

“I’d say sorry about the mess,” you break the easy silence lulling you into staying there, “but it's your fault,” you tease way too familiarly. 

Keith sounds embarrassed when he utters, “sorry about that. I can get carried away.”

You smile softly, tracing over his shadowed form with your eyes but resisting the urge to reach out. That part was over. “It was good.”

“You did mention.” 

So he could joke. 

You giggle in the darkness that envelopes the room. You were good at being friendly and taking charge but you understood the hesitancy to open up to people you just met. 

Keith’s chest makes a rumbling sound akin to a cheetah purring. 

You try and hold onto the thought, sure it means something, but the sound draws you in and you lose the battle against yourself, curling up into his side. 

He takes this as the permission it is, and tangles his limbs with yours. 

A thrum of warmth surges where Keith’s skin touches you and you’re not sure if its his running warm or if it's all in your head or-

your eyes drift closed. 

He’s purring.

You know Keith would be embarrassed if you pointed it out. 

So you say nothing. 

Everything seemed so intangible anyhow. The world had been turned down a notch. The post orgasm glow remained unrivalled. 

Even a hit from a bong didn’t measure up. 

Your first time had been a real embarrassment (you hadn’t managed to get the boy’s cock in you), this was just a weird quirk of his, and it was soothing. 

You close your eyes. 

Keith’s breathing is deep and steady, you wonder if he’s fallen asleep, but don’t feel pressured to check. 

It was nice, not scurrying off, not being more than a little drunk. War was exhausting. Earth had only been in it for less than three years. No wonder some aliens were in such shit moods. 

You exhale. 

There’s no way to mark the passage of time. 

The bed shifts under you. Keith runs the back of his hand gently over your shoulder.

Your eyes flutter open.

“So would this be round two or three,” you ask lightly.

Keith smiles lightly, “you did say…”

“I did,” you laugh easily, blushing, the flush creeping from your cheeks to the tips of your ears. 

You swing a leg over his waist, straddling him, but not without feeling the start of a soreness in your legs. It doesn’t deter you. 

Keith lays back, watching you through his lashes as you sit up. He looks lovely. 

You lean down and kiss his mouth, reaching for his cock with your hands. He was already half hard when you wrap your hand around his shaft. 

His breath hitches in his throat as you move your hand. It’s been a moment since you’d jerk anyone, but it’s not rocket science. You press kisses down his throat, moving your hand firmly up and down his length until he’s completely hard. You nip at his collarbone, marking him the way he’d left bruising kiss all over you. 

His cock twitches in your hand, Keith’s hips thrusting up into you. 

Anticipation builds in your belly, but you want to set the pace, stay in charge. So you still your movements.

Keith whines under you, his hands holding your waist.

“Be a good boy for me,” you tell him. “Can you do that?”

“Mm.”

“Use your words.”

“Yeah,” he manages hoarsely, “I can be good.”

You smile, lining him up against your entrance. You shift your hips, teasing his cock against your wet folds, closing your eyes as you moan at the feeling. 

Keith thrusts up, trying to get more friction.

You still wanting to drag it out. Though your thighs ached and your pussy throbbed and you wondering if you should just-

You rub his cockhead against your pussy, “oooOH,” you moan. Your nails scratch his chest lightly, trying to steady yourself. Your heart raced, back arching down to him.

“Come here,” Keith groans, his fingers trailing up, asking for more, his hand on the small of your back. 

You give in, sinking down onto his cock. 

He moans your name, shutting his eyes. 

It’s pornographic, the way Keith rises up to meet you, hips bucking against yours, the expanse of his pale throat. 

You roll your hips slowly, fucking yourself on his cock. At this angle, the way he filled you- 

“Fuck,” Keith moans, “you feel so good.”

“I could say the same,” you reply, sliding against his hips, picking up speed. You hold yourself up, hand on his chest.

You suck in a breath as his cock thrusts into you. Static filled your head as you chased your pleasure, grinding against him. You tilt your head back, moaning his name, everything but Keith becoming background noise. 

He palms your breast.

Your breath hitches when he rolls your nipple between his thumb and finger.

“Ah,” you sigh. 

Your stomach was taunt. 

He doesn’t go further. You sort of wish he would. You trusted Keith not to hurt you. . .too badly. 

The idea excites you, as he wraps his hand around your throat. 

You match him, curling your fingers in his hair and pulling hard, “look at me,” you try and order but your voice is a whine. You’re too hot and heavy to think. 

His cock twitches inside you, filling you up and fuck it felt good to be streched out. 

Keith’s thumb strokes the side of your throat, his grip firm. “Do you like this,” he asks, his gaze heavy on you. He was entirely concentrated on you. It was like being worshipped. 

It sent a wave of pleasure coursing through your veins. 

“I wouldn’t mind if you got rougher,” you admit, finding it easy to trust him.

He looks away. 

You falter. Had you read things wrong? 

Keith bucks his hips up against you and you let the thought go, sinking onto his cock and groaning, “Keith…” 

It was easy to let go when it felt this good. His hand around your throat, fingers digging into your hips, you were sure there’d be bruises tomorrow. Not that anyone would be able to tell from over your uniform. 

A shudder runs down your spine, you squirm on his cock mindlessly, thinking about bruises in the shape of his hands, about the marks on your neck you could already feel blooming on your skin. Heat surges in your chest, something primal as your thoughts linger there. 

You nails run down his chest, leaving shallow scratches as you try and get a better hold, desperately grinding against Keith, down on the bed, his cock ramming into you. “Fuck,” you think, “fuck. . .Keith. . .”

You can’t stand it. 

The pressure in your stomach, the heat scorching your pussy, the sound of Keith’s whines and moans, your name tumbling out of his mouth like a hymn that raised your heart beat, blood pounding in your ears. 

Keith squeezes your neck, your throat bobs under his fingers and fuck-

You come. 

Your legs tremble, unable to support you any longer as you collapse, a quivering mess on Keith. His hands move down to grip your thighs, pulling you down flush against him, down to the hilt of his cock as he comes, moaning erotically. 

The thread of heat doesn’t dissipate entirely as you rest on his chest, boneless and sticky with sweat, but it relaxes and you breath the scent of him in instead of pulling away entirely. 

Keith strokes a hand down your spine, an afterthought, “that was. . .” 

“Yeah.” You’re exhausted. 

You close your eyes, listening to the inhuman rumble of Keith’s chest as it rises and falls with every breath you take. 

You end up slipping out. The halls are in the light cycle, but no one bothers you as you walk. 

Getting up the next morning is hell. 

Your legs are sore, and that’s not even mentioning how much your pussy hurts when you take a step. You take a dose of painkillers still remaining from your injury and check your messages. 

Nothing from earth. 

That was expected. 

The meager universal communications were taken up by the war effort. You still sent your family messages, even if it was just one way. It was a way to keep in touch. It felt like watching starlight and knowing it was millions of years old, a form of time travel. 

You shower. 

Keith’s come was a mess on the inside of your thighs and the thought is not as gross as it should be, your skin warming up, zapped by static. You run your fingers over your clit and fuck yourself in the shower thinking of the red paladin and his come.

You get out, brushing your hair out, not looking in the mirror at the purple hickies spread out like a constellation on your chest, and realize how weird you were being. 

Come was gross. 

You hated swallowing so you never did. The tentative relationships at the garrison had been short, you had all been teenagers, and now anything that happened was a one off thing sometimes involving aliens. 

You swallow, gripping the counter of your sink. You were horny again. 

No. 

Not going there. 

No space weirdness this morning. 

Because you’re on leave for the space equivalent of 6 or 5 days, you don’t have much to do. You get food. It had taken getting used to, and figuring out which brightly colored pastel goo thing was good, but there was a variety. You still had no clue what was plants or animals up in space. 

The more liberated planets, the more supplies trickled in. Pirates loved to take a cut. 

You eat as soldiers stop by to refuel, fill up on supplies. Despite the stress, you missed being out on the front. Being out of the action sucked. 

Sitting around on a spaceship was boring. 

It wasn’t like they had shops or movie theaters. Walking around too much ended up with you being in the way. 

You clench your jaw, feeling feverish. 

And you had just been getting better. . .

You shove the thought away. 

You end up watching space TV: reality TV shows like Galra Ninja Warrior and nature docu series on plants, some you’ve been on, before finally sliding your hand under the waistband of your trousers and rubbing your clit. 

It takes the edge off, but the heat’s still there, pressed up in the pit of your stomach, cheeks flushes and you sigh, unsatisfied as you click to something other than the marine biomes of Kmeolsuahr. For aliens larger than a schoolbus, they were peaceful creatures. Since they were filter feeders, agriculture had never developed a hold on their planet, but water generators were plentiful. 

Yet another show starring Galra. It was the most common type of show in the Empire. Hijacking communications had given this traveling spaceship TV. You were glad for it now. 

You curl up, the communicator snug around your wrist translating everything instantaneously. It was the part in the soap where there has to be a duel for honor. What a load of crap. 

The two Galra circle each other, close ups of their face like a mexican stand-off. Through TV you got to know the Glara in the empire as more than just soldiers. Spending time in the camps taught you that even Galra citizens could be arrested for treasonous statements against Zarkon. 

They make growling alien sounds, something between a jaguar and a sound not found on earth, an underlying clicking that raises the hairs on the back of your neck. 

You connect the dots. 

The glowing eyes, the purrs and rumbles, and whatever weird alien thing was going on: the red paladin was part Galra. 

Only that made no sense. 

He was from Earth. 

First contact had been what, when the paladins had disappeared? When the Kerberos mission had been abducted, and boy had that made fringe conspiracy theorists happy. . .how could he be part Galra? 

Was it even your problem?

Surely this would go away. . .

You were leaving in a little over five days. 

You curl up and watch TV until you fall asleep, determined to enjoy the rest while it lasted and your weren’t trudging through waist deep mud. 

“Read through the debrief,” a commander with a nebulous rank above you asks. In your line of work, so much was redacted. Information gathering was a fancy way of saying spy. It was why you worked so closely with the rebels. 

You don’t even blink at the slight pale easter egg yellow alien, ears that resembled hair, long and droopy like a rabbit: there were four of them. You’d met stranger. “Yeah. Long mission.”

You were not looking forward to being on a planet with an inhospitable surface. A sun close enough that set the surface on fire with it’s rays, no thanks. 

Still, it was your assignment. 

“It is vital.”

They always said that. 

It seemed to be extracting some key players. Who they were remained unknown until you had to know. It was a lot of flying blind to keep information from leaking to the wrong ears. Loose lips sink ships and all that jazz. 

“I’ll treat it that way,” you nod, pressing your tongue to the roof of your mouth. It would be fun flying a hijacked Galra fighter ship. The planet was pretty deep in Empire controlled space. 

“And,” the alien looks you up and down like a Garrison RA finding a stain on your uniform during morning inspection, “get rid of that scent.”

“What,” you ask plainly, “scent.”

The alien raises a hairless muscle over its eye. The gesture is human enough. “Voltron has docked here.” 

It was subterfuge. Both of you were in the same line of work, you could do this dance in your sleep. “As far as I know, yes.” You are careful to keep your expression neutral, feeling stupid for not having used negating get. It wasn’t even rationed, but used pretty widely. There were many aliens who relied primarily on scent, and those whose sense of smell was far sharper than yours. 

“Mm.”

You hold their gaze. 

You weren’t one to waver.

“Any further questions?”

“None.”

“Good.”

You walk blithely back to your room, intending to shower, again, and probably take care of the warmth in your gut. The heat was like an uncomfortable itch under your skin that stubbornly remained no matter how much you ignored it. 

How was it even possible that Keith was any part alien let alone Galra? You were pretty sure the entire planet would have known if the Galra arrived on the planet. 

It was intriguing. 

Your mind drew up the details you knew, trying to make them fit. It was half mental exercise, half the urge to actually get to the bottom of this. Keith didn’t look half Glara like Prince Lotor and his gang of misfits. . .quarter, one sixteenth. . .

Occam's Razor. 

The mystery occupied your mind as you made it back to your quarters. 

Keith is pacing outside your door. 

How did he even know where your quarters were?

“Did you sniff your way here,” you ask, genuinely curious. Maybe the traits might not be apparent. . .just how Galra was the red paladin. You were reminded again how little you actually knew him. 

Understanding fills his eyes; he knew you knew. Keith looks over at you for a second before ducking his head dejectedly, a straw dog expecting to be run off. 

Your heart ached. 

How a paladin of Voltron could be so self conscious despite going toe to toe with the Empire on a daily basis. . .you didn’t know. They were only flesh and blood after all. 

You take pity on him, “so is this going to be a thing,” the corners of your mouth lift into a small smile. You were still a little sore. You wouldn’t mind going another few rounds. . .

But you needed to clear some things up first. 

Just how much of this between you was space Galra funkiness? 

Keith snorts, looking up, meeting your searching gaze. His shoulders were still tense, unsure that you weren’t about to tell him to shove off. Not the loner type entirely by choice then, his innate awkwardness must have made it hard to connect. 

It wasn’t a problem you’d ever had, rushing into everything headfirst, taking charge. 

“Not like there’s a lot of humans to choose from up here,” he says self-deprecatingly. 

You bite the inside of your cheek. “I’m down for some alien funkiness,” you answer evenly, taking a step towards him. He inhales sharply, looking away again, this time in thought. 

The lines of his face increase, clearly uncomfortable, frowning. 

“I can’t usually,” Keith admits in a tense voice, “smell this well. . .though I can smell better than Shiro.”

“Shiro?”

“The black paladin,” he explains, surprised he has to explain at all. 

You answer his unvoiced question, “everyone tends to focus on the color of the lion rather than the pilot inside.”

“Oh. That’s dumb.” He looks a little relieved at the anonymity that grants. 

“Is it just me then,” you ask, getting to the bottom of things. 

He nods, meeting your gaze. “I don’t know why but I can’t stop thinking of fucking you,” he says without ceremony. 

You find yourself blushing. The connection went both ways, the very alien connection. “Don’t hate me but I think we should go to the medic.” 

Keith frowns. “Or we could just fuck.”

“That horny,” you tease, raising a brow, “or was I just that good?”

Keith cusps a hand against your cheek, his thumb running over your lips. 

Your mouth parts, the tip of your tongue grazing his thumb. 

“So you don’t want to fuck,” Keith asks, a playful smirk on his lips. 

You swallow, the urge to say yes right there as his touch on you entranced you, sending desire cascading through your body down to your toes. “This isn’t just alien weirdness is it?” You wanted it to be more. 

“No,” he shakes his head, his breath mingling with yours. “That’s-I’m not that impulsive.”

“Good,” you mutter, pressing your body against his, and opening the door to your room.