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paradisetemporarilymisplaced · 3 years

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So I was being a basic bitch the other day and listening to my true crime podcasts when it occurred to me just how suspicious Nile’s “death” would look to everyone not in the Guard, leading me to a train of thought that, 2200 words later, absolutely got away from me but I can’t let go so I’m inflicting it on all of you!

To set the stage, we know the movie takes place over approximately a week. Here’s what happens to Nile from the military’s point of view:

She dies is very seriously injured

She heals without a scratch

Just before she’s supposed to be shipped out to Germany, she vanishes, leaving two men concussed (and presumably reporting being knocked out by a woman with short hair wearing civilian clothes)

She goes AWOL for several days

They get word from the CIA that she is to be reported killed in action (details unclear)

So, at the beginning of this very weird week, the USMC has to tell Nile’s family of her death critical injury. What her family was told depends on how long she was dead – a Google search tells me that family will be notified in person within 8 hours of a soldier’s death, but we don’t know how long her first death lasted. For an injury, however, they’d get a phone call to notify them and the unit would arrange for them to visit as soon as the soldier is transferred out of a combat zone. Like I remember when I was in high school, a guy from my church who was a Marine was really seriously injured in a helicopter crash in Iraq and from what I could tell, his parents were told immediately and were flown out to Germany to see him, so it stands to reason that Nile’s family would have been informed relatively quickly after her throat was slashed, one way or another.

And then, she goes AWOL. Her family would be notified while the USMC tried to figure out where she went, not least because the military would want to know if she’s contacted them. (And it’s possible that her family may have been on the way to Germany to see her since we know that’s where she was supposed to go!) So for several days:

Nile’s mom and brother have no idea where she is

They know she was seriously injured and most certainly should not have been moving around on her own

They can’t get a hold of her

The military can’t tell them anything

And the next thing they know for sure is that she was “killed in action.” After being injured and vanishing into thin air. And they presumably cannot produce her body or any concrete evidence of her death. In any case, something sketchy is going on, so they’re like. SMELLS LIKE A MILITARY COVERUP.

In a surprise to probably no one, there is a well-documented legacy of mysterious US military deaths, particularly of women of color (TW for sexual assault in these links). The cases of LaVena Johnson and Vanessa Guillenin particular have made national news because of their families’ persistence in seeking justice. Likewise, Nile is a Black woman, and her mom and brother are most certainly hypercognizant of (a) state violence against Black people and (b) these high-profile cases of suspicious military deaths. So her family are seriously side-eyeing the situation, knowing that (a) the military has a serious incentive (and a documented history) of covering up things that make them look bad and (b) nothing about Nile’s disappearance and supposed death are adding up.

And Andy’s right. Nile does come from warriors. And you know who else does? Her brother.

Don’t get me wrong. Nile’s mom would absolutely not back down. She’d know something was up and want to get to the bottom of it. But based on what I know about Gen X parents (mine), they’re not the most technologically savvy. Like they can use the internet, but they didn’t grow up with it the way we young millennials and Gen Z did. So Nile’s brother takes the lead. And what do zillennials do best?

Social media.

Nile’s brother starts going hard on any site he can, trying to get the word out to see if anyone knows what happened to his sister. He starts a Reddit thread. He starts a Facebook group. He reaches out to the media and true crime bloggers and podcasters à la Sarah Turney, getting loud and being a general nuisance in hopes of getting some answers. He gets his friends and Nile’s friends involved. Maybe eventually Dizzy, Jay, and others from Nile’s unit hear about it and reach out, telling him what they saw and how weird it all was. He’s drumming up interest, and soon “Nile Freeman” becomes a household name (at least among the true crime fans).

Copley is, of course, trying his best, but at this point there is just so much that it’s impossible for him to scrub everything. Sure, he can erase new footage of Nile and the Guard, but what can he do about Reddit threads and podcast episodes that are speculating something weird has happened? Maybe he could hack the sites and shut those things down, but honestly, that’s the last thing he’d want to do, because that only adds weight to the theory that Nile’s disappearance is a military coverup. So eventually he has to tell Andy what’s going on.

Andy, obviously, does not take the news well. However, she is also completely computer illiterate, because that’s Booker’s job and he’s the only one who ever bothered to learn what the internet is in any meaningful way. (She probably calls Booker for advice, and for the record, I think Booker would have no qualms about shutting down conspiracy threads, tinhats be damned, but Copley is too concerned about the consequences. He’s ex-CIA for crying out loud, he knows how it’ll look if they scrub every mention of Nile’s name from the internet.) Maybe she confers with Joe and Nicky but, let’s be honest, they’d be equally unhelpful. So at this point, she knows they have to bring in Nile.

But the thing about Nile is that she, too, knows how to use the internet (duh). Aside from her being a young millennial/digital native, we know from the cave scene where she’s giving Booker suggestions on how to track Copley that she clearly is even more computer savvy than the average person. And for that reason she almost definitely took over the day-to-day tech stuff after Booker’s exile. So I think it would be foolish to expect her to be unaware of what’s happening. She’s not contacting her family or posting on the message boards or anything, but she knows what’s up. So Copley and the team probably sit her down to “break the news,” but we know the girl does not have a poker face (see: literally shooting herself in the foot and not being able to play it cool whatsoever) and cracks immediately, telling them she’s seen everything about her case – she’s not interacting with any of it, she certainly didn’t instigate anything, but she knows. (And she is so goddamn proud of her brother.)

At this point, I’d like to pause and consider Nile’s role in the overall narrative of this movie. She’s set up as a foil to Andy, obviously, but she’s also a foil to Booker. Booker, who, like Andy, is a serious pessimist, but who, unlike Andy, still has very fresh memories and trauma associated with being the new kid, which have destroyed him. In his mind (and Andy’s), if Nile communicates with her family, she’ll become just like him in a century or two – bitter, alone, and stuck with her grief and memories of watching her family die and knowing they died resenting her. It’s a small sample size, but this is the only experience they have to go off of.

But it doesn’t have to be like that.

There’s been a lot of discussion of TOG being a fundamentally queer movie – a group of people brought together because of something inherent about themselves that is different, that must be hidden, that causes others to hate, fear, and reject them. Booker’s backstory is the archetypal traumatic “coming out” story – his family learns who he is, hate him for it, and attempt to cast him out of their lives. He’s stuck with his trauma, his pain, his loss, and it consumes him.

But what if Nile’s family would be the opposite? What if her “coming out” to them as immortal is met with acceptance, love, celebration? What if her family is just overjoyed to have her back, and they don’t care what the circumstances are? I'm reminded of this incredible post from @shitty-old-guard-deaths a while back, where Nile’s mother hits Booker with a frying pan because “my baby let me believe she was dead for FIVE YEARS based on your bad advice???” (which may or may not have inspired this whole tangent). Nile takes the advice of someone who did the same thing she wants to do because she doesn’t want to risk her family’s rejection. She wants the good memories with her family and is afraid that showing them her true self will bring her unbearable pain, forever replacing those memories. But, with high risk comes high reward.

Anyway. Nile and the team are trying to come up with a plan for how to handle this whole thing, but she’s not really participating because she’s too afraid to hope. Until finally, quickly, so she doesn’t lose her nerve, she suggests she reach out to them, knowing that, realistically, that’s the only solution before things snowball even further out of control. The team is shocked, but realize that she has a point. They decide that Copley should actually be the first point of contact, posing as a US government official to talk with them and test the waters.

So Copley goes to Nile’s family’s house to talk with her mom and brother. They’re probably distrustful and apprehensive, but nonetheless secretly ecstatic that their work has paid off. They talk and review all of the information that they’ve collected, including testimonials from the people on Nile’s base and recent sightings (along with photos) of Nile (with the same three people) over the last few years that people have sent them but they haven’t posted publicly. At this point, Copley’s like, yeah this is about to blow up, we gotta put our cards on the table. He convinces them to come with him to some safe house/black site/whatever he can get that is technologically impenetrable (I’m picturing them in like, an interrogation room at a police station kind of deal), takes their phones, locks the doors, and brings in Nile.

What follows is the most delightful reunion scene of all time, bringing Joe, Nicky, and even Andy to tears as they watch and listen from outside the room. With Copley’s help, Nile tells her mom and brother about her immortality and what’s been going on since she died (within reason, of course), and they are thrilled. They don’t understand why (because no one does) but they don’t question it and they see it as a gift from God – she’s been resurrected, she will live, and she has a purpose. Her mother and brother are so happy to see her again and are willing to agree with pretty much anything to stay in her life as long as they can.

So. They set up some complicated agreement (they bring in the other three for support/intimidation as needed) setting the terms of their relationship. They swear Nile’s family to secrecy, maybe bringing up the lab to show how high the stakes are, and they readily agree. They come up with some cover story for Nile’s brother to share on the message boards (maybe that the government has opened an investigation but because it’s an open case he has to shut it all down? Tells people to direct their tips somewhere else? Something to that effect). There’s still speculation, of course, but without Nile’s brother at the helm providing the energy, the hype dies down as news stories are wont to do without any movement. And Nile’s family goes to work for the team. The experience has taught them that Copley can’t possibly do everything himself, especially when it comes to social media, so Nile’s brother takes the lead on the day-to-day tracking/social media while Copley and her mom focus on finding jobs and scrubbing their traces afterward.

So there you have it: Nile gets to integrate her biological family into her found family and spend the rest of their lives with them as it should be, Copley gets some badly needed help managing the reality of social media, the team finally has a positive narrative surrounding outsiders Knowing About Them AND about interacting with people from their previous life, and the audience gets the happy ending to this very lovely and very queer story to counteract the pain associated with Booker’s family.

Plus, you know, I’m a sucker for both a good government conspiracy theory and for Nile getting every good thing she deserves.

#the old guard #tog #tog fanfiction #tog meta #immortal family #nile freeman #mine #damn look at me contributing to a fandom! that’s new #pls reblog if you like this my self esteem could really use it #I just love nile so much and I’m being the nile-centric content I want to see in the world #it is just genuinely nuts to think abt how this situation would be perceived by anyone outside the narrative #she just mysteriously heals from a fatal injury and then VANISHES!!! this should be national fuckin news #also I do think there’s a major hole in the story when you think abt social media #like the only time it’s even hinted at is right at the very beginning when Andy erases that girl’s selfie #and the concept of fuckin Reddit is not even brought up despite Copley’s stalker board being analog Reddit #there’s just a lot of places one could go with this which is very much what we got here #1k

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practicalsolarpunk · 3 years

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Let’s talk about seed bombs

They’re pretty cool, right? Planting flowers, saving the bees, guerilla gardening, what’s not to love? But there are some things to consider before jumping in, in order to ensure that they are effective and to avoid causing any harm to the local ecosystem.

1. Native species

Many of the seed bombs available for purchase are... less than responsible about what kinds of seeds they use, even the ones that advertise as native. Read the list of species, look them up, ascertain whether or not they’re actually native to your specific region. Take the U.S. for example. It’s a massive country, and while a particular plant may be native to the country in general, it may be native to a state on the opposite coast. Do your research, make sure the seeds are actually native to your specific area.

Some resources to help with that*:

https://www.audubon.org/native-plants

https://www.wildflower.org/plants/

https://www.nwf.org/NativePlantFinder/Plants

https://xerces.org/pollinator-conservation/pollinator-friendly-plant-lists (scroll down on this page and there’s some international resources, too)

2. Where to place them

This one is a bit harder, because there are so many variables. Is the soil bare? Why? Is the soil so poor nothing will grow there, not even the most tenacious weeds? Is it high traffic? Is it heavily compacted? Some kind of pollution leaking into the soil and making it inhospitable?

Or is the soil covered? Is it grass? Is it a native grass? Does it get mowed? Is it going to get sprayed? If it isn’t grass, what’s already growing there? Is it native species? Is it naturalized, polite, nonnative species that aren’t threatening the biodiversity of the regions? Or is it a highly invasive nonnative that will choke out anything else trying to grow?

Observe the area for a while. What kind of sunlight does it get? Is it wet? Dry? Is there erosion? Mixing many different types of seeds together into one bomb might not be the best idea - even plants that are native to your area can have vastly different needs. The resources above should also have information about the growing conditions for the plants. Again - do your research.

3. Saving the bees

Not to stir the pot too much, but honeybees, while facing issues due to pesticides primarily, are not really in danger of extinction, they’re supported by humans enough to survive. Native bees, on the other hand, are, and we depend on them just as much, if not more, for pollination of our food than we do on honeybees. Pretty much globally, native bees and other pollinators and insects in general are in dire straits. They are desperately in need of love, less poison, habitat, and food sources. So, what kinds of bees and other pollinators do you have in your area? Which ones are most threatened? What do they eat? Where do they live? Many times, native insects have their own niche they fill, with specific plants that they depend on, and those plants depend on those specific insects in return. It’s pretty fascinating to do a deep dive into local insect and plant species, and their interactions. Once again, research is the way to go!

Some resources*:

https://www.nrcs.usda.gov/wps/portal/nrcs/main/national/plantsanimals/pollinate/

https://saveplants.org/pollinator-search/

4. Over seeding

Ok, some of the recipes I’ve linked below call for absurd amounts of seeds per batch - don’t do it. The seeds won’t spread out, so they’ll all be attempting to grow in maybe a few square inches of space at the most. Each bomb should only have a few seeds, otherwise in their fight for space, sun, nutrients, and water, they’ll all die. Putting a dozen or more seeds in a single bomb is wasteful, expensive, and counterproductive. There is literally no benefit to it, please, for the love everything green and growing in the world, don’t do it.

Now that we’ve covered some of the things that need to be taken into consideration, let’s talk about how to actually do this, hopefully successfully!

1. Seriously consider making your own! The process of making them involves wetting all the ingredients, including the seeds, which may start the germination process. If they then dry out again, they likely won’t grow. It will likely work best to make them right before planting, and toss them before they have a chance to dry too much. Also, if you make your own, you can be 100% sure that the species are well suited for the area, because you’ve done your research! Good for you, working hard to ensure those little bombs have a big impact!

Here’s some recipes, take your pick! (But, as mentioned above, ignore the parts that say to use too many seeds - you only want a few in each bomb. depending on the type of seed.)

https://www.wildlifetrusts.org/actions/how-make-seed-bomb

https://littlebinsforlittlehands.com/make-seed-bombs-earth-day-activity/

https://seed-balls.com/basic-seed-ball-recipe

And a handy image via this site:

[photo id: a graphic titled How to make seed bombs. Below it reads: You will need: meadow flower seeds or seeds collected from the garden, peat-free compost, water, powdered clay from craft shops - use clay soil if you can’t find any, mixing bowl. 1. In a bowl, mix together 1 cup of seeds with 5 cups of compost and 2-3 cups of clay powder. 2 Slowly mix in water with your hands until everything sticks together, then roll mixture into firm balls. 3 (no words, but a drawing of seed bombs laying on grass). 4 Now for the fun bit - plant by throwing your seed bombs at bare parts of the garden!]

2. Toss them out in the spring (or whatever season they germinate best in), when you know there will be a few rainy days in row. Seeds need wet to germinate, and good, steady moisture for the first bit of growing. If that isn’t feasible in your region, consider going back to water them gently at least once a day for a few days or a week or more, until the seedlings are strong enough to withstand a bit of drought. Unless, of course, the seeds are wet loving, and have been tossed somewhere that already maintains a decent moisture level for them.

3. Where to get seeds

Collect from native plants already growing in your area, that you have permission to collect from, or that are on public land. Make sure you are 100% sure of your id - don’t want to be spreading invasive species around!

Buy them from a reputable source such as*:

https://www.prairiemoon.com/ (they have lots of awesome info about native species in north america - a great resource!)

https://www.nativeseeds.org/ (focuses on food crops mostly, but a fantastic resource all the same)

https://www.seedsource.com/

Another method if you’ve got space is to buy seeds, but plant them in your own garden and collect seeds from them. Those seeds can get really expensive, so this way you only need a few, and then with time they’ll multiply!

Try to make connections with people in your area already growing native plants - they’ll probably be happy to help you get started with some seeds!

Phew that was a lot of information! I hope it helps you all in your bombing adventures!

- Mod S

*North America focused, I’m sorry, I tried to find resources and databases for other regions and couldn’t find ones that looked reliable or comprehensive. If anyone has any, please add it on or send in an ask.

#seed bombs #guerilla gardening #gardening #plants

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ms-demeanor · 5 years

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The Very Basics of Not Killing Your Computer

AVOID HEAT STRESS

If you have a laptop DO NOT use it on a soft surface like a pillow or on a blanket, it’ll block the vents on your computer and make it get really fucking hot inside.

If you have a desktop you gotta open it up and blow out the dust sometimes.

If you are moving your laptop in a bag turn the laptop off. Don’t put it to sleep, don’t just shut the screen, turn it off, because otherwise it’s in the bag generating heat and there’s nowhere for the heat to go in the bag. OFF. Not sleep. OFF.

DO NOT DROP

Okay I know that should be obvious but drop damage to your hard drive is bad bad news. Be as careful as you can to set your computer gently on flat surfaces; don’t leave it hanging out on a bed where it can get knocked off, don’t set it on the roof of your car. And yes, just dropping it a couple inches can kill your hard drive or totally shatter your screen.

DON’T PUT SHIT ON YOUR KEYBOARD

Look I’ve seen four people ruin their laptops because they had a pen on the keyboard and closed the laptop and it fucked up the screen and the keyboard and it sucks so much and you feel awful after it happens because it’s so avoidable just don’t put things on your keyboard and always check that your laptop is clear before you close it.

PROTECT YOUR PORTS ON YOUR LAPTOP

You’ve only got one power jack and a limited number of other inputs on your computer and if they detach from the motherboard you’re fucked. USB ports get damaged because people use them a lot and eventually it weakens the connection and then they just stop working and it sucks. You can get around this with USB ports by using a USB hub to connect things like your keyboard and mouse.

For your power plug you just gotta be careful. Avoid tripping over the cord at all costs, don’t yank the plug out of the computer. It will SUCK VERY MUCH A LOT if you have to buy a new computer because the power port lost contact with the motherboard.

Don’t move your computer with things plugged into it. Take the power cord off before you put your laptop in the bag, take out the USB mouse dongle, do not travel with little nubby bits sticking out of your computer that can easily get caught or get tweaked or snap off inside of the thing.

(I really can’t emphasize enough that most of the “it will cost more than it’s worth to fix this” laptops I see are because of USB ports and power jacks. People don’t seem to know that this isn’t something that can be fixed easily; a broken power jack is a “remove the motherboard and resoldier components” job, not a “plug a new one in in fifteen minutes” job and most computer repair shops aren’t going to solder things for you and if they DO it’s going to be very expensive)

RESTART YOUR SHIT AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH AND JUST LET THE FUCKING UPDATES RUN

You should probably restart more than once a month but whatever. This is actually something that I consider part of reducing heat stress because when your processor is straining to keep up with all the background bullshit that’s running from a program you opened three weeks ago it’s going to use up resources and get hot and look just restart it once in a while.

Also the updates are almost always okay and safe and generally running updates is a good and secure thing to do (though maybe follow a blog dedicated to the OS you run because if there IS a problem with the updates that blog will probably talk about it before the update gets forced on your computer)

ANTIVIRUS BULLSHIT

Yes you should probably be running an antivirus.

Sophos is free and it’s fine. But don’t pay for it - if you’re using Sophos use the free version.

If you’re looking for something paid and a little more comprehensive I recommend ESET - get the cheap version, renewals cost less than the initial purchase, and feel free to get a multi-year version, the credentials follow your email not the computer so if your computer dies before your license expires you can install the license on a new computer.

DO NOT INSTALL NORTON OR MCAFEE THEY ARE EXPENSIVE BULLSHIT. Kaspersky is whatever. It’s less bullshit than Norton or McAfee but not as good as ESET for about the same cost.

If you think you’ve got a virus run the free version of Malwarebytes and get your shit cleaned.

KEEP LIQUIDS THE FUCK AWAY FROM YOUR COMPUTER

Again this should be obvious and yet. But seriously, just make a rule for yourself that drinks aren’t allowed on the same table as your computer and you’ll save yourself a lot of headaches.

PLUG YOUR COMPUTER INTO A UPS

Okay I fucking hate amazon but here’s a thing you should be using, just search the rest of the internet for “surge protector/UPS” and you’ll find something that isn’t from amazon - APC is a solid brand for this.

Basically you want a fat surge protector that has a little bit of a battery backup and you want to plug your computer (desktop OR laptop) into that instead of into the wall. The benefit of this is twofold:

1) if there’s a power surge the UPS will prevent your computer’s power supply from getting fried and possibly frying parts of your motherboard

2) if there’s a power outage and you’re *at* your computer you’ll have enough time to save what you’re working on before your computer loses power (like, you’ll maybe only have a minute or two on a small UPS but that’s still time to hit CTRL+S and keep from losing work)

At a bare, bare minimum your computer should be plugged into a surge protector but NOT directly into the wall.

BACK YOUR SHIT UP

[we interrupt this yelling for me to tell you that Western Digital has apparently released their new My Passport line and I’m obligated to inform you that you can get a 2.5″ USB 3.0 backup drive with FIVE FUCKING TERABYTES OF STORAGE for $130. Or you can get 4TB for $93. Or you can get 1TB for $53. basically what I’m saying is that it is not only cheap computer season it is also cheap hard drive season.]

[also if you’re getting a backup drive get western digital not seagate seagate fucking sucks and has a much higher failure rate]

Uh, okay, anyway - Do an image backup of your computer every once in a while so that if you get infected or your hard drive dies or whatever you can just restore from backup and move on like nothing happened.

HERE’S HOW TO DO AN IMAGE BACKUP.

SAVE YOURSELF THE WEAR AND TEAR

You know what is cheap? USB Keyboards and USB mice. You know what is not cheap? Fixing the touchpad on a laptop or replacing a laptop keyboard.

Get yourself a USB hub, a USB Keyboard and a USB Mouse (wired or wireless, doesn’t matter) and if you’re using your laptop at home plug *that* into your computer.

Also if your keyboard on your laptop breaks it’s fine just to use a USB keyboard instead I promise; if the screen breaks it’s also usually cheaper and easier to get a used or inexpensive monitor than it is to replace the screen. Your laptop is basically just a very small version of whatever bullshit is going on inside a desktop, if the peripherals break but the core components are fine you can just use it like a desktop.

Unless it’s a piece of shit that doesn’t have any USB ports or video out in which case you got ripped off, friend, demand functionality in your devices I’m sorry.

/rant

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snifflesthemouse · 3 years

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Harry’s the Problem. His wife is the symptom. He is the real Diana 2.0 Wannabe...

Since the Oprah interview aired, my whole perspective regarding the spare and his spouse has shifted. It would seem that I’m not alone in my thought process as more and more media outlets start reporting similar stances. Just recently, there was an article suggesting Harry didn’t change; but rather, he is only finally revealing his true self. The more I think about it all, the more I’ve come to the realization #6 is the real culprit behind everything.

I’m not saying that his wife doesn’t have her own agenda or shares responsibility for her part in all this. Her hands are far from clean. What I am saying is it’s finally time for all of us to consider the cold, hard truth. Harry is his mother’s child. Harry is the bad egg, and his wife is only a side effect of the real problem here.

Had it not been for the Oprah interview, I would have never put it all together. The problem with oversharing is too much information gets put out in the public. Most assume PR firms would worry about oversaturation in the press, but the real problem comes from personal interviews they cannot control in real-time. Puff pieces can be edited before publishing so facts and statements align; live interviews cannot. Over time, one of two patterns form from this oversaturation. Consistencies, repetitions, and similarities can be found in oversaturated truth-telling. Inconsistencies, changes, and huge differences result from those like Harry who prefer their trousers scorching hot from bursting into flames from deception. When you consistently lie, the only constant is the inconsistencies.

Now, those of us who have been following these two already know by now inconsistencies and changing stories should be expected. But the Oprah interview really highlighted some interesting things I had previously missed. The interview with Dax Shephard only solidifies my theories. Up until lately, those two have been together through most everything. Very seldom have we seen Harry alone in an interview or speech. There’s never a time where the missus isn’t popping up. James Corden proved that. Then we have the Oprah interview where she was supposed to be the star of the show. But, that was the moment it all changed. That interview was the moment she became the understudy.

Think about it. Who is the one being used in the media lately? Most people would suggest that the impending delivery of child number dos is why the missus is absent. One would then argue the Apple + special with Oprah started production well before the second child was a topic for discussion. The missus is being used less and less on camera or in the media. Everything is all about Harry. Forget about when Harry met Sally; Harry Met Hollywood!

Harry is the one doing the interviews, dropping projects, and talking with big Hollywood names. Even their announced Netflix projects are focused on one of Harry’s pre-married concepts. All the wife has going for her is a book that’s only number one in the “Books written by ex-Royals who couldn’t hack it” category. Seriously though, as of this posting the Bench is #2130 on the Amazon Books list, #12 in Children’s Black and African American Story Books, #73 in Children’s Emotions Books, and #167 in Children’s Family Life Books. Being pregnant isn’t a disqualifier for being interviewed. But, apparently being just the wife is.

So, if it was his wife’s plan from the beginning to marry Harry, get him to abandon his family, move to California, and become a big star with a Prince for a husband, her plans have been ruined. And if you think about what she said in the interview with Oprah, you can actually see the moments she told us all exactly that. She clearly tells Oprah Harry was her direct link and source to the Royal Family and everything she needed to know. She didn’t misspeak or misunderstand a thing; she was telling us that Harry’s next to be markled. In every weird answer or revelation where she gave her versions for why their child(ren) were without title, saying they wed three days before the chapel, or having to cry out to HR since Harry failed to help her while she was so depressed she wanted to kill herself and her unborn child... all of it. It was all just the beginning. It may seem like she is attacking her husband’s family, but Harry’s the real target now.

In just a couple sentences, she managed to reveal who Harry really was. Harry, of all people, should (and does) know how to navigate the press. Clearly, he failed to not only help her acclimate to Royal life, but it could also even be argued he set her up for failure for the get go. Let me give you an example. When my husband introduced me to his family for the first time, he told me little tidbits of information he found important for me to know. He essentially prepped me for the meeting so things went well. He wanted his family to like me because he loved me. I wanted them to like me because I loved him, too. So, I took to heart everything he told me. Yet, Harry’s wife shared with the world how little Harry cared about that. She credits Fergie with teaching her to curtsey, google for teaching her the National Anthem, and even said Her Majesty made her feel especially welcomed. So how did Harry not do more? If they started seeing one another in the early Summer of 2016, how is it Harry failed to teach or explain anything to her prior to meeting his grandmother, the Queen, when he had months and months of time to do so? How is it he failed his wife so miserably, she didn’t even understand basic UK custom, laws, or protocols? Why might you ask?

Simply put, Harry is so much like his mother, all he knows is how to play the victim narrative while using the link to the Royal family as a nonstop ATM machine. Many people aren’t honest with themselves when it comes to Diana. She wasn’t the Mother Theresa everyone makes her out to be. Mother Theresa wasn’t a Mother Theresa either, though. Did Diana do some great things? Absolutely. Did she do them only because they were nice or great? Absolutely… not. Diana’s PR team would even have her switch up her charity causes whenever they felt it was getting to martyrdom level. They’d refer to her PR stunts as flavors. Does that sound like an innocent woman?

Not to me. This whole time we all have seen his wife as the root of all issues, but she’s the side effect. It’s becoming more clear by the day that Harry searched out her. He wanted someone with the basic Hollywood connections that he could capitalize. Someone that seemed so controlling and ambitious it would be easy to believe they were controlling him, too. Of course he knew she would invite all the celebs she did. He probably inspired that guest list. Instead of guiding her in the press and in British society, he leads her to slaughter. He hides behind her repeated gaffes and wokeness to keep on his own mission.

You see, Harry is obsessed with his brother eventually becoming king, being the “Second Son of Diana” and being the misfit. He is obsessed with his brother and father. They are all he talks about. When you obsess on something like that, it is more revealing than anything you say. Harry’s true motives aren’t protecting his wife and children. His real motive is making a name for himself like his mother did. If he can manage to get some revenge by making the Firm feel some backlash, hey that’s a bonus.

While his wife may think in her mind she will be the next Diana 2.0, the truth is we all missed who really will be. Harry is the one wanting to be Diana 2.0. If that’s the case, then that means the much older spouse for whom there are two children with, aka the wife, would be his Charles. Remember, Diana lost her HRH and titles. And we have Harry being very aggressive and pushy, to the point it seems he is trying to get ahead of a Palace announcement of them losing their titles. But it makes sense now.

They aren’t trying to lose anything, but instead Harry keeps opening his mouth to create pressure in the media. He knows his wife does not want to give those titles back. But if he himself keeps saying outrageous things, then it would put everyone in ultimatum mode. Either Harry will push hard enough that Parliament and the Queen will have enough, or the press will get so critical of the two, Harry will push his wife to agree to returning the titles.

Harry is following the Diana business model. While in the Royal Family, they both were seen as rock stars who had more star power the the Sovereign, which was an issue. Then, they couldn’t take all the abuse, coldness, and inhumanity, so they bolted for freedom. Instead of putting the past behind them, they use the past to monetize grief and trauma in such a way, they become their own brand. Right now, the trauma being monetized comes from the past, but the problem will soon come when that trauma is tapped out. He will need a source of new pain or victimhood. Enters the wife stage left.

The wife is a tool. She of course has her own plans and thinks she is the one in control or the genius. She thinks she is the one everyone wants to work with. But it’s becoming clear to her that isn’t the case and she’s been played by her elite buddies. They all want him, not her. They all duped her for him. If I can see it, and I can see her already finger pointing that Harry is the failure here, then she can see it. And that means paradise will soon be lost in those Montecito hills. His wife won’t go down without a serious fight here. I wouldn’t even be surprised if she eventually causes him to lose his special visa.

Overall, Harry hides behind his wife like a beard or shield protecting him from the press’s glaring lens. He lets her do and say whatever she thinks is great so he can keep plotting his own plans. He allows her to take the fall, look stupid, pull stunts people can see through, etc. for a reason. He isn’t completely sure he can make it in his new California life. He knows he can’t if he keeps her for too long, but he also knows he needs an exit strategy in case it blows up. So, he pins the press to attack her as the true culprit. If they split and he has to, he can return home and play the victim of her. If they split and he is doing okay in Hollywood, she can be the reason he plays victim to big named people like Oprah and Gayle.

I can see it now. An Oprah Special with Harry tonight on Apple +. Something cheesy or corny that is almost plagiarism. Like Narcissus and the Prince or something. Watch. Mark my words. Oprah talking to Harry about surviving the marriage while trying to rescue two small kids, being in the spotlight as a Royal while being gaslit by a narcissistic wife… yes I can see the green screen set up now.

I know this is difficult to digest, but I do ask you to try. While his wife is not innocent, she clearly is guilty for her own part indeed, his wife isn’t the true problem. The true problem here is a man who has a serious issue with living in the shadow of his future-King father and future-King brother, and his future-King nephew, that he has chosen to use the same exact attack model his own mother used to merch and marginally disrupt the institution that made her a star. Harry and his mother both wanted the entire spotlight, but both knew they could never have it the way they wanted it. So, they wrote their own victimhood narrative.

And here we are now. Mark my words. Harry will keep pushing until those remaining titles are removed by them forcing the hands of Parliament and the Queen. Or, they’ll push and push in the press so much the outrage and hypocrisy will leave them no other option but to renounce and re-gift those titles and rights to the line of succession. That is what he wants, even if his missus doesn’t. Also make no mistake about it. Harry is the real Diana 2.0 wannabe, not his wife. Keep an eye out. I have this gnawing feeling that soon enough, there will be plenty leaks from the wife about the husband. She won’t go quietly into the Beverly Hills… but neither will he.

#megxit #6 #harryswife #yankeewally #murky meg #diana2.0

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13uswntimagines · 3 years

Text

Loose Lips Sink Ships (Soran X Swift!Reader)

Request: The Next Instalment of the Swift!Reader Universe where everyone finds out that the reader is dating Emily and Lindsey. Basically, 5000 words of the reader getting caught in compromising positions, having deep conversations with her sister and teasing some too invasive fans.

Other Parts of the Swift!Reader Universe

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Taylor considered herself a very perceptive person, especially when it came to you. From the time you were little, she could read you like a book. She knew to look for the tilt of your head when you were curious, or how you scratched the back of your neck when you were nervous.

But this, she had never seen before. Your thumbs twiddled on your thighs, patting out an erratic pattern that didn’t match any of your favorite songs, and your feet were tapping out a completely different beat. You also kept tucking your chin, completely refusing to make eye contact with her.

It wasn’t just tonight either. It was for the entire week you had been staying with her in her Manhattan apartment. She didn’t know if she could take another three weeks of you sneaking off to the terrace to make phone calls at midnight.

She sighed, turning away from the stove to lean over the island, taking a long drag from her wine glass and eyeing you carefully.

“Alright, what’s going on with you?” She asked, raising an eyebrow at you. You blinked up at her with owlish eyes.

“You’re acting weird,” she added with a shrug, turning to whatever she was making on the stove.

You took a large gulp of your drink and swallowed hard. You didn’t think you had been that obvious, but then again Taylor knew you better than anyone (well, there were two people who probably knew you as well as she did). Soon enough they would be just as good at getting information out of you as Taylor was.

“I’m just tired. Pre-season and national team duty are kinda kicking my ass,” You mumbled, rubbing the back of your neck, praying to god that she would take this excuse.

She nodded, tapping the spatula on the side of the pot before turning back to you and picking up her glass again. “I’m sure the media pressure isn’t helping that,”

You shrugged.“Everyone just expects me to be you, and it’s a lot sometimes,” You mumbled, absentmindedly circling your fingers over the rim of your glass.

Taylor’s eyebrows furrowed. She could tell you weren’t telling her everything, but if this was the route you wanted to take, then she wouldn’t miss a chance to reaffirm you.

“I know, and I’m sorry for that,” She said softly, reaching across the island to gently grab your hand.

You finally looked up at your sister, echoing her sad smile, and noting the worried crinkle by her eyes. “It’s not really your fault,”

She nodded. “I know, but all I can do is tell you how amazing you are as many times as I can,”

You held her gaze for a few more seconds, her seriousness giving you no reason to doubt her sincerity.

It didn’t matter what the media, or your family, said about your career. Taylor maintained that you were just as good, simply because you were you. She was your greatest champion and most trusted confidant.

You nodded, and she squeezed your hand before turning back to the stove. She knew pushing you to talk about what was really bothering you wouldn’t help. You would come to her when you were ready.

You watched her thoughtfully as she put the final touches on dinner, checking on a tray in the oven and stirring the things on the stove.

You were comforted by the familiarity of it, but the little voice in the back of your head reminded you that you also enjoyed this position when it was a different blond cooking for you (and the way Lindsey teased her while she cooked).

The three of you had been together for nearly eight months, and recently you had all decided that maybe it was time to stop hiding. The first step was telling Taylor, but you weren’t really sure how.

Your heart thumped in your chest at the thought of your two favorite women. Your girlfriends, you reminded yourself. They made you feel so many amazing, and terrifying things you had never felt before. Taylor always sang about those emotions, and you wondered if this was what she was talking about.

“Can I ask you a question?” You asked softly, and Taylor paused her stirring on the stove. That was always the cue you used when you wanted to have a serious conversation. When you were nervous about whatever the answer would be. The last time you had asked that you wanted to know if she would be upset if you skipped college in favor of going pro.

Her opinion mattered to you more than anyone else’s.

“You know you always can,” She said, avoiding looking over her shoulder (towards where she knew you were worrying your lip between your teeth).

“How did you know you were in love?”

Taylor paused, a pan halfway out of the oven, at the completely unexpected question. She should have seen this coming, she had seen the way those two looked at you.

She cleared her throat, straightening and setting the hot pan on some oven mitts on the counter, before turning her full attention to you. She took in how you seemed so hunched in on yourself, your eyes still glued to your glass.

“Well, She made me feel warm and bubbly like there was a hot spring in my chest. When anything happened, she was the first person I wanted to tell,”

You blinked up at her, your eyebrows furrowing. “Like you were addicted to her? Like when she smiled, it finally felt like you could breathe?” You rushed out and Taylor let you, giving you to work through your emotions, before she pulled you into a tight hug.

You had a very bad habit of bottling everything up and pretending that you were fine (something she was sure her career choice - and your mother- didn’t necessarily help).

“Did you feel scared of how much she made you feel?” You leaned into her touch, sighing when she ran her fingers through your hair.

“In the beginning it did, but then it was freeing when I realized that she would be there to catch me,” Taylor said, kissing the crown of your head.

You closed your eyes. You didn’t doubt that they would catch you, but the feeling of falling was terrifying. You were in deep and keeping it from your sister was difficult.

“Dinner looks amazing and I’m starving,” You mumbled, and you felt Taylor sigh. She had gotten a little out of you, but definitely not enough to curve her curiosity. All in good time.

“Let’s eat,” she said, kissing your hair and standing to make you two plates. She still had 2 weeks to get the rest of the story out of you.

****

You were in absolute heaven. Trapped in between the two warm bodies of your girlfriends, one set of lips moving with your own and another trailing kisses lightly down your neck.

Emily and Lindsey had spent one of their free days (between Adidas and other sponsor commitments) hanging out with you, and you couldn’t be happier. You spent the day exploring the city and checking off a massive list of stereotypical couple things the city had to offer. It had ended in a very romantic dinner at a little pub on the lower east side, and now some amazing kisses in your room at your sister’s apartment.

Lindsey’s hands slipped under the front of your shirt, her nail scratching lightly up your tummy and ribs as she pressed herself further into your back. You sighed into Emily’s mouth, tilting your head to both give her a better angle on your mouth and give Lindsey more room in your neck.

“Hm, we’ve gotta stop. Tay will be back soon,” You mumbled when Emily pulled back and turned you so Lindsey got her turn too.

You felt Emily sit up behind you to get a good look at the clock. “You said we had till 12, it’s only 11:15,” you could hear the smirk in her voice, even as she kissed your ear and made her way down to the patch of skin on your neck she knew drove you wild.

You bit your lip. It was one thing to ask your sister for relationship advice, and a complete other for her to walk in on it.

Lindsey gently brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. “Do you wanna stop?”

Emily paused as they both waited for your answer. It was sweet and comforting how they always made sure you felt safe and that you were enthusiastically consenting to whatever you were doing.

You shook your head and pouted. “No,”

Lindsey sent you a very indulgent smile, her thumb gently rubbing over your cheeks. “Then less talking, more kissing,”

You giggled into the kiss, a shiver running down your spine when Emily continued her ministrations in your neck.

You hummed into the kiss, very much enjoying how their bodies felt pressed into yours. God, it was like you just couldn’t get enough. It was so easy to lose track of time with them. It wasn’t until a loud slam of the door and your sister calling “Y/n, you here?” That you finally pulled away from the women.

“Shit! You two have to hide,” You squeaked, practically leaping from the bed. You threw Emily’s pants and Lindsey’s shirt towards the women on the bed, who were moving way too slow for your liking.

“Where?” Emily asked, tripping as she tried to hastily shove her legs inside her pants, while simultaneously glancing around your room in search of a suitable hiding space.

“I don’t know! Figure it out,” You said over your shoulder, taking a deep breath to hide your panic before you exited the room.

You carefully closed the door behind you, she would have zero chance of getting any information out of you).

“Hey kid, how was your day?” Taylor asked from the couch, looking over her wine glass at you. She opened her arms, and you immediately went to burrow into her.

“The best. I went out exploring,” Your entire face brightened (Taylor wondered if it was because you got to experience the city, or from the person, she was sure you experienced it with - ie the person(s?) who had left the hickey’s all down your neck).

“Where’d you get that shirt?” She asked after a few minutes, pinching the grey sweatshirt (which conveniently had a number 9 and the USWNT logo on it).

You blinked down at your outfit, your eyes widening, at your outfit, a pair of Emily’s Thorns shorts and Lindsey’s sweater.

“Oh, Umm,” you stuttered, racing to come up with a response when a bang echoed from your room.

Taylor’s head snapped in the direction of the sound “What was that?”

“Nothing Tay,” You winced at another loud thump followed by several giggles.

She raised an eyebrow at you and stood to go investigate for herself. She didn’t mind you bringing a significant other home (especially if they made you this happy) but she didn’t want them hiding from her.

“Are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to go find them for myself?”

You crossed your arms like a petulant child and pouted. “I also spent the day with Emily and Lindsey,”

“And?” Taylor asked, slightly confused. She liked the women and she thought you knew she would approve. Hell, she had practically given them the shovel talk already.

You sighed, hunching your shoulders. “They’re hiding in my closet because we were making out when you came home,”

Taylor giggled at how absolutely pitiful you sounded. She patted your shoulder “Well, I think the closet is a terrible place to hide. How about you get them out here,”

You nodded and stood to go retrieve the girls, slightly afraid of what Taylor was going to say to them.

“And y/n,” she said just as you got to your door.

You paused and turned towards her “Yeah?” You asked, tilting your head to the side.

“I’m happy that you’re so happy to be dating them,”

You smiled so wide that your cheeks started to hurt. It felt like a weight was lifted off your chest. No matter what happened going forward, Taylor supported you (even if you were sure she was about to give them one hell of a shovel talk and set up some serious boundaries).

You nodded and entered your room. Perhaps it was about time that you all came out of the closet.

******

You weren’t quite sure how you always got yourself into these situations. Maybe it was that you, Em, and Linds barely got to see each other outside of camp during the season, or maybe it was because the three of you were so sickeningly in love that you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself.

Whatever it was, you, Emily, and Lindsey couldn’t seem to keep your hands to yourself (especially after you came out to your sister).

Even now, with the no girlfriends rule at camp, you found yourself pinned to the elevator wall by Lindsey’s hips, thoroughly enjoying the way Emily’s tongue was exploring your mouth (shivering slightly when Lindsey hit the sensitive spots on her neck) (with no idea how they thought this position was comfortable for them).

You were so engrossed in your kissing that you didn’t hear the ding of the elevator, or the doors beginning to slide open.

“Holy shit guys, at least let the girl breathe,” Kelley’s cackling caused all three of you to jump, and Lindsey to inadvertently knock heads with you.

“Fuck,” Emily hissed, working her way out from between Lindsey’s arms and your chest.

“Ow,” You mumbled, rubbing your forehead l, as Lindsey used a thumb to lift your chin so she could look at it. “You alright babe,” She asked softly.

Kelley laughed louder at the mess that was the three of you trying to untangle yourselves from each other, ignoring Alex’s glare (teasing someone while their cheeks were as red as yours were wasn’t something she felt comfortable with).

“Shut up Kelley,” Emily grumbled, pulling you off the wall so she could hug you from behind. You leaned back into the woman, taking whatever comfort you could. The three of you knew it was time to tell the team, but you hadn’t expected it to happen like this.

“How long has this been going on?” Alex asked softly after a few minutes. There was no way the three of you could be so comfortable around each other if this was a new thing.

“Almost a year,” You said, shyly looking up at Lindsey, who placed a very sweet kiss on your cheek while Emily placed the same on your other.

“Does Taylor know?” Alex asked at the same time Kelley said “I’m gonna need an exact date,”.

Alex slapped the back of Kelley’s head. “Not the time Kel,”

“Yeah, Taylor knows and is super cool with it,” Lindsey said softly, squeezing your hand.

Alex tilted her head, looking to you for confirmation. You nodded.

“Good, because I didn’t want to have to try and keep it from her,” The forward smirked, and you felt more heat in your cheeks. You all promised you would never mention that incident again.

“She was terrifying last time we saw her mad,” Kelley grumble, rubbing the back of her head.

“That was because you let Y/n surf in giant waves on her first time out,” Emily snorted, nuzzling her nose into the space behind your ear. Alex smiled softly at the sight of you so relaxed.

“Are you three going to tell the team?” She asked.

“You might have to if you are going to continue playing tonsil tennis in the hallways,” Kelley added, only for Alex to slap the back of her head again.

“We hadn’t really talked about it yet…” You mumbled. Both of your girlfriends squeezed you (Lindsey getting your gains, while Emily tightened the arms she had wrapped around your middle).

“Well, could you wait like 3 days? I have 20 bucks on you three taking until the middle of camp to come out,” Kelley asked, scratching the back of her neck. You rolled your eyes. Of course, they would have bets on you, but you weren’t about to bend over backward for it.

“You knew?” Emily screeched. Kelley cackled nodding wildly.

“You’re not exactly subtle,” Alex laughed. Anyone with eyes could see that you were head over heels for the women and that they were falling just as hard as you were.

*****

The internet fucking sucked. You knew that and found it relatively easy to ignore the mass chatter of the online world, but then again you had never been a part of such a disgusting report by some shady internet reporter.

All you had done was gone to lunch with Shawn Mendes, and someone had snapped a picture. The two of you had become good friends after spending so much time together on the 1989 tour. Now some random reporter was commenting on how you had confirmed your new relationship. It wouldn’t have mattered if you were anyone else, but Taylor’s fandom had blown up the small town reporter’s article.

Now they wouldn’t leave you the fuck alone.

“We’re not going to respond to it,” You huffed, crossing your arms adamantly in front of your chest, effectively pushing your plate of pancakes away. You squinted at the vets sitting across from you, completely baffled why they thought you would take any other route.

Lindsey’s arm around your shoulder righted, while Emily leaned in, almost conspiratorially. “Of course not, but wouldn’t it be fun to send the fans on a little goose chase anyway?”

Your ears perked at that. Taylor’s fans were always so fun to mess with. They made it so easy, particularly because your sister had trained them to always look for clues (that most of the time exist).

“And we have been talking about wanting to come out,” Lindsey added softly.

Your expression soured. You didn’t want to do this as a reaction. You wanted it to happen naturally.

“I don’t wanna do that in response to some asshole who doesn’t understand boundaries,” You pouted.

“But what if we did it our way?” Lindsey and Emily both asked at the same time. It was scary how in sync they were most of the time.

“Like get the team involved, tease the fans. At least show them that you don’t play for Mr. Mendes’ team,” Emily shrugged, trying to act like she didn’t care, but you knew she did.

You couldn’t help but smirk. You did love to mess with the fans.

“If you do wanna mess with the fans, I have the perfect picture” Tobin chimed in, giving you that little push you needed.

Emily raised her eyebrows at the woman, ignoring the glares the rest of the vets were sending her way. “Didn’t see you as a prankster Toby,”

“It’s artsier than anything else…” Tobin grumbled, flipping her phone to show you the photo she was talking about.

It was of you, Emily and Lindsey during a morning hike the team had taken. You were laughing, while both of their heads were tucked into your neck. You were the only one clearly identifiable, but it was clear you were smitten with whoever you were with.

“Ooo, I like that one,” You said, suddenly feeling excited. It was bound to send the fans into a frenzy because you couldn’t see who was making you smile so wide.

Tobin nodded and began typing out the post, before flipping it for you to read and ok. You giggled at the tag line “only those two knuckleheads could get you to smile this wide before your morning coffee”.

“Good?” Tobin asked, and you nodded enthusiastically. It was perfect, and coming out this way- with the help of your team- felt amazing.

“I have one too. You guys are too photogenic,” Christen said, pulling up her phone and begging to scroll through her photos (much like the rest of the team began to do). Were you guys really that obvious? No wonder they had bets going.

*****

Your teammates were having way too much fun. You shouldn’t have been surprised considering how private the women normally were, it must have been nice to get some time sending the fans on a wild goose chase. You were also surprised at how many photos your teammates had taken of you and your girlfriends. And just how many of those photos were perfect for the little game you were playing with the fans.

You could identify yourself on all of them, but Emily and Lindsey weren’t clear at all. But it was plain to see that you were very in love with whoever was sitting next to you.

“Did you see Alex’s picture? It's amazing!” You said, wiggling excitedly between your girlfriends. The three of you had taken a break from the team and decided to cuddle while you watched the fans go insane. (It was honestly one of your favorite places to be).

“Pshhh, no Pinos is totally the best,” Emily snorted.

You pouted. She nudged your side and placed a very sweet kiss on your pouty lips.

Alex’s photo of Emily and Lindsey throwing you into the ocean was totally better than the one of you shoving and chasing your girlfriends with birthday cake-covered hands.

“No, Kelley’s is totally the top picture in the bunch,” Lindsey smirked, nudging your chin with her nose from your other side.

You blinked up at her and looked at the photo of one of your favorite goal celebrations. You had literally leaped into Emily and Lindsey’s arms, but you were at least 3 feet higher than Lindsey’s head in that picture.

You bit your lip. It was a very good picture, one of your favorites actually, but there was one that topped them all for you. “They’re all pretty good, but I think I’ve got the best one,” You said softly, pulling out your phone.

It didn’t take you long to find the picture in question (it also happened to be your lock screen). You were smiling brightly at the camera, the reputation tour stage (lit for the song Dress) clearly behind you, trapped between Emily and Lindsey kissing each of your cheeks. Your girlfriends looked over your shoulders to catch a glimpse of your phone.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” Lindsey asked softly. There was no hiding or pretending in that photo. It was open and honest (and a great picture of a fantastic night).

“Yeah, it’s like speak now or forever hold your peace,” Emily added, and you could practically hear her eyebrow raising.

“No, but I don’t wanna hide you two,” You shrugged. It was the balance you sister had worked her entire career to achieve. Hiding away meant that there was no commentary about your relationship from people you had never met (loose lips sank ships after all), but it also meant avoiding the little things that you longed to do in public.

You weren’t sure if you would ever be ready to face the media, but your desire to be with your girlfriends the way you wanted was just so powerful.

“You know we’ll wait as long as you need us to,” Lindsey said, using her thumb to tilt your chin and look you in the eyes.

you nodded, your eyes never leaving her concerned blue ones. “I know but, like-. I wanna be able to hold your hand or kiss you and not have to worry who's watching. I want to be able to take you on dates, and not care about if a camera can see us cuddling. I want to be able to post about how great you looked in a game, or for your birthday. I don’t want to hide,”

During your rant, Emily had wrapped herself around you from behind, resting her chin on your shoulder and rubbing her hands flat on your belly (which never failed to calm you down).

“We know darling, but once this is done, it can’t be undone,” She said softly.

You threaded your fingers through hers, glancing down to avoid Lindsey’s appraising stare (you never could get anything past them). “I didn’t think you were a Shakespeare fan,” You mumbled.

“I’m full of surprises,” Emily said, kissing her favorite spot just behind your ear. Lindsey cracked a smile too “we both are”.

“I know,” You nodded suddenly serious, as you carefully extracted yourself from your girlfriends and began to type up the Instagram post.

You passed them the phone when you were done, idly twiddling your fingers now that you didn’t have anything in your hands. “I’m gonna do it if you two are alright with it,”

“We’re fine with whatever you choose, we love you and just want you to be comfortable,” Lindsey and Emily both said, rubbing your back and arm respectively in a comforting motion.

“I know, and I love you too. Let’s do it,” you said clicking the button and closing your phone. You didn’t need to watch the comments roll in.

It wouldn’t be until the next morning that you would see your sister had also decided to chime in. And you couldn’t keep the smile off your face at her simple caption- love my sister and her girlies. For sure the best squad ever.

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #soran x reader #soran imagine #taylor swift x reader #taylor swift imagine #taylor swift fanfiction

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apparentlyaswarmofbees · 4 years

Note

How about a headcanon of what does MC and the brothers do togheter other than the typical dating stuff(going on dates,cuddling,...). Like, I imagine my MC and Lucifer just painting togheter in front of the fireplace,listening to classical music,drinking wine and chillin.

Hmmmmm, I do have a headcanon on Things You Do Behind Closed Doors which actually portrays exactly things you guys may do while alone, though in there some do involve cuddling seeing many of the demons are so snuggable 🤭.

But this has given me an idea for something quite a bit different! So I hope you will like it!

One of Many Shenanigans You May Do With The Brothers

Lucifer

Classic

Do you enjoy classical music? Do you wish you could play a fancy instrument? Do you get off on Lucifer's teacher mode? Well, I present you: Instrument lessons with your one and only Avatar of Pride.

Is he being touchy with you on purpose or is he actually being a responsable adult and actually helping you? Does he actually think you made progress or is he that much of a simp his standards have dropped lower than him and his brothers after the fall?

Honestly? Once you catch the sight of that twinkle in his eyes as he happily rambles almost like a certain otaku about classical music and almost forgets the original purpose of you guys being in the music room, I don't think any of that will matter.

Mammon

x² + (y - ∛x² )² = 1

Do you hate math with every single inch of your body and will rather fail a math class than to deal with a math problem but you love Mammon all the same and would do anything and everything just to see him smile?

Then get ready because now he is your math study budy and he doesn't take refunds.

Seriously, you will never be able to understand how numbers work better than when you study together with this man.

Investment? In real life it may be a disaster but on paper he can find the answer in a blink of an eye. Find the X? Just make it involve money and suddenly he not only finds the X but also complains about how the entire problem is way too unrealistic.

He totally doesn't realise he was now sitting pretty close to you, you should definetelly take this chance to peck his cheek.

Leviathan

They're Not Just Cheesy, They're Cheesier.

You know that one moment when you go to a party and you sit down somewhere away from the people but there is no internet therefore nothing for you to do but suffer?

Only Leviathan is now there by your side and he has a pen! And some paper!

For anyone on the outside it will look like two love birds exchanging small love messages to each other.

But if anyone came closer enough to see what was actually being written on the paper, all they would see would be a mess of lines, numbers and even some kaomojis as you guys have an intense battle of connect four and tic tac toe.

It's romantic.

Satan

I Hope You Like Storms

One of the worst problems of highly intelligent people is how sometimes their brain munches on more information than it can swallow, leading to their entire brain process getting choked. That's why some good ol' brainstorming is extremelly appreciated, that way they can just puke it all out and finally be able to sort through all the information.

So yes, I hope you like storms, because you are now Satan's brainstorming buddy.

Specially when he needs to sort out his feelings and some decisions, he just straight up searches for you and if he can't find you he will just shoot you a message.

You guys can spend entire hours just laying down several ideas and opinions. Most of the time you guys won't even come to a concrete answer, but it really helps him, and he hopes it helps you too.

Asmodeus

Is It a Mom Thing?

I don't know about you but if there is one thing I have been doing my entire life with my mother is go shopping for clothes and spending hours going back and forth in the changing rooms trying out different outfits, being way too loud and definetelly taking pictures which was explicitly written on the walls not to do.

See the Asmo energy of that?

You gyus would definetelly cause some chaos in Majolish as you guys basically turn the changing rooms into a damn fashion show, there are laughs and some screaming to "help me with the zipper" and he definetelly strikes up a conversation with the other demons also wandering in the changing rooms.

Do you guys buy everything you try? Theres a high chance all you guys will do is exactly that, try it out, and never buy it. But damn if the Lust Avatar's presence in the store doesn't already boost their sales, so the workers deal with having to put all the clothes back in place.

Beelzebub

I May Not be Able To Carry it For You, But I Can Carry You.

Tired of walking? Do you just wish you were able to teleport to places even on days you haven't moved your leg muscles more than to walk to the kitchen and back to your bed?

Fret no more!

The Avatar of Gluttony, one of the seven most powerful demons in the Devildom was made just for you!

Build in with broad enough shoulders for you to sit comfortably on, strong enough arms to carry you around and a soft and caring personality that will worry and help you with your needs, this ginger haired demon will gladly carry you around to wherever you wish only with the promise of food, kisses and you making sure to take care of yourself!

Participate now in the RAD's new Exchange Student Program to get your own for only the price of 5 demon shaped stress fuels that you will need to sit down and have a teraphy session with and get yourself killed-

Belphegor

From Nowhere

When it exactly started happening is hard to pin point, but at somehow, you will often find yourself staring Belphie dead in the eyes as he stares right back at yours.

There is absolutely no meaning and you guys have absolutely nothing else to do, you can be anywhere in any position, laying down, on the same table, standing up, it will just happen.

Your eyes will sting but you will not blink until he does first.

Faces and smirks will be exchanged, you guys are basically dead to the reality around you until either of you blink or Belphie gets tired and blows air into your eyes.

"I win"

He didn't win shit.

Random staring contests can be romantic I guess.

#yes there are more references #tho they're less #obey me #obey me!#obey me! shall we date?#obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #obey me imagines #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor

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cockroachmotherfucker10 · 4 years

Text

PRIDEFALL UPDATE: real or fake?

What is Pridefall?

Operation Pridefall, also known as Project Pridefall or simply Pridefall, refers to an attack planned by /pol/ (a political discussion board on the anonymous website 4chan) for all of June, AKA Pride month. The original 4chan thread, which has since been deleted, was primarily focused on “redpilling,” i.e. spreading queerphobic propaganda to make people question the LGBTQ+ community. However, now that it has spread outside 4chan, there are threats of harassing, doxxing, and outing queer people (especially minors) on social media, spamming gore and rape videos in private messages and Pride tags, and even kidnapping, assaulting, or killing queer people in real life.

Specific targets include Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and dating apps. The goal is to go after smaller accounts so the queerphobia isn’t lost in the comments.

Is Pridefall real?

Yes and no.

I searched “pridefall” on 4chan last night. Apparently any new threads on it are being deleted, and anytime someone mentions it, everyone calls them slurs and says no one is doing it.

However, Pridefall is gaining some traction on Instagram--I have seen it for myself. I don’t have TikTok or any dating apps, but I’ve heard that some people are spamming homophobia on TikTok. As for Twitter, I only looked briefly, but I saw some Pridefall accounts there, as well as a lot of warnings and blocklists from people who are worried about it.

I’ve also heard that there have been a few Reddit and Discord raids, and that there is an Operation Pridefall Discord server (someone who spied on them says they have been banned on Discord as well as a platform called Riot before, so very few people are left on the Discord server now).

What do you think, Lia?

This is not coming from 4chan. No one on 4chan is interested anymore.

Most likely, people outside of 4chan heard about it and decided to take matters into their own hands.

The original 4chan thread wanted to make Pridefall “normie-palatable” by avoiding Nazi imagery or other overt unpleasantness, but I have seen a LOT of both on Instagram. This reinforces my belief that 4chan isn’t doing this.

A lot of the people behind this are young, or at least unsophisticated. Most of the Pridefall accounts on Instagram engage in very childish trolling, and one of them said they were a minor. Some of the threats I’ve seen are so outlandish that I can only imagine they came from a fairly young person.

My guess? Most of these people are around 13-19.

There are also very few of them and some of them probably have multiple accounts. Anti-Pridefall accounts outnumber them by far.

However, on Instagram I’ve seen Pridefall accounts following each other and commenting on each other’s posts, so there may be a few groups working together.

A lot of this shit is going to get deleted. I know Instagram is working through reports very slowly right now because they have fewer people available due to COVID-19, but most of the worst accounts I saw last night were deleted by this morning. I saw some more accounts deleted today.

Most, if not all, of these Pridefallers are just trying to scare us. Because they’re probably quite young, there’s very few of them, their accounts keep getting deleted, and law enforcement can track online activity, there is no way they have the balls or resources needed to coordinate major attacks.

There is a very, very slight chance this could spill over into real life, but as long as you practice basic online safety, you will be fine.

That being said, if you are threatened or doxxed by a Pridefall account, PLEASE contact the police. Better safe than sorry.

I do think that the threat of being doxxed or outed is more real than the threat of being attacked. I have already seen one Pridefall account who posted a trans boy’s address on Instagram (he is okay, he posted recently) and another who posted someone else’s address.

There is little chance this will last throughout Pride month. Apparently the goal is for Pridefall to worsen until the end of June, but given that this is most likely just some vastly outnumbered teenage trolls who are bored in quarantine, I seriously doubt they’ll be able to stay interested for a whole month.

This might not be as big on Tumblr. Tumblr is a lot more anonymous than, say, Instagram, which will hopefully deter would-be doxxers. It’s also known to be a highly liberal and queer-friendly site, so any Pridefaller with half a brain cell should know that A) their content is sure to be outnumbered and reported (only us Tumblr users know how bad staff is at deleting questionable stuff), and B) anyone with the original goal of “redpilling” is sure to fail here. Plus, I only remember seeing few, if any, mentions of Tumblr on Pridefall planning threads.

Still, expect to see some Pridefall activity here. Unsurprisingly, not all of these Pridefallers have half a brain cell. Some of them will definitely be unable to resist the lure of a community as openly queer as Tumblr, and we’ve all seen or heard about doxxing, harassment, gore, Nazis, and queerphobes on here. Also, 4chan has historically had some beef with Tumblr, so young teenage boys who idolize 4chan may target us for that reason.

How can I stay safe?

If you have any social media accounts where you A) have posted identifying personal information, and B) are openly supportive of the LGBTQ+ community (especially if you’re queer yourself), put them on private for June. Any other accounts are probably fine to stay public.

If you need a private Tumblr, you can make a password-protected secondary account and only share the password with mutuals you trust.

It is probably okay to be openly queer on a private account (e.g. have pronouns/rainbow emojis in your Instagram bio), since a private account is not likely to be doxxed. But if you want to be extra careful, remove queer identifiers from anything that is publicly visible.

Use Pridefall blocklists. They’re all over Instagram and Twitter. I may repost some here.

Report any Pridefall accounts you see. This is VERY important because this is how we can actually get rid of Pridefall content.

DON’T RESPOND TO ANY PRIDEFALLERS WHO PERSONALLY INTERACT WITH YOU. I know it’s tempting to give a snarky reply, but if they message you, comment on your post, etc, just block them. Seriously, don’t feed the trolls. It's exactly what they want.

Make sure your password game is strong. Use a different password for every site (I know, I know, it sucks), and use passwordmeter.com to test their strength. Write them all down on a piece of paper.

Make sure your username game is strong. Don’t use the same username for multiple sites, and avoid putting personal information in your username, such as your name or birthday.

Do NOT open random links!! Pridefallers could message you links that will give you viruses or track your IP address.

Don’t accept DMs or follows from people you don’t know. Pridefall accounts don’t always look like Pridefall accounts. Some of them are undercover.

Use a VPN. This is probably a little overkill unless you’re particularly at risk of being doxxed, but it will hide your IP address.

Be careful who you interact with. A lot of queer people on Instagram are DMing Pridefall accounts or commenting on their posts, but this could make you a target. As helpful as anti-Pridefall accounts are, you might even be targeted for following those.

Be wary of Pride tags. Unfortunately, a lot of Pridefall accounts plan to infiltrate tags commonly used by queer creators during Pride month. Use discretion when looking for queer content.

Be safe IRL. Lock your doors, lock your windows, be aware of your surroundings, don’t walk alone in poorly lit places, know basic self-defense, etc. Again, I absolutely do not think people will be attacked in real life, but you should be doing this shit all the time, not just in June. Thanks to COVID-19, you’re safer inside anyway!!

Make yourself hard to dox. Even though I have a very unusual first name (it's not really Lia), I am extremely hard to find online. I just went into an incognito browser window and searched my first and last name in quotation marks, but I didn’t find myself until page 4 of Google (and that result wasn’t even posted by me). I’m only half as careful as I could be, but here’s some of the things I do:

-I never use a picture of myself as my profile pic, except for Facebook and Instagram, which are both on the highest privacy settings possible.

-If I post identifying information on a public account (my college, my age, etc), I use a pseudonym or my first name only.

-On Instagram, I only use my first name, and I used special characters to type it, so you won’t find me if you search my name.

-On Facebook, I only accept friend requests from people I know. Most, if not all, of my Instagram followers are IRL friends, friends of IRL friends, and trusted Internet friends.

-If I’m really being paranoid, I’ll make a brand-new email account to sign up for a site. That way, my accounts aren’t all linked through one email address.

-Before I post a picture online, I delete the EXIF data with verexif.com, since EXIF data can hold GPS coordinates.

🌈 Stay safe, everyone.

You will not be harmed. You will be okay. Like cockroaches, we are survivors, and we will get through this!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

-Mod Lia

#mod lia #og post #og post cmf #pridefall #operation pridefall #pride fall #pride #pride month #lgbt #lgbtq #gay #safety #psa #please reblog #pride 2020 #lgbtqia #lgbt pride

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comedicreliefonlyworkswhenfunny · 3 years

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I am against the "Americanization" of fandoms.

What this applies to

Holding non American characters (and sometimes even fans) to an American moral standard. This includes

Refusing to take into account that, first things first, America is NOT the target audience, so certain tropes that would or would not pass in the west are different in Japan.

Like seriously, quite a few of the jokes are just not going to pass or hit, because they require background information that is not universal.

Assuming all American experience is standard. (This could mean watering down just how much pressure is placed on Japanese youth irl by saying that sort of thing is universal (while it is, to a degree, Japanese suicide rates are pretty fucking high because of how fast paced and work heavy some of their loads tend to be), and it's really annoying and rude when someone is trying to speak out about how heavy and harsh the standards are placed on them to succeed just for some American whose mom occasionally yells at them to do their homework dropping by to say "it's like that everywhere")

Demonizing (or wubbifying) a character using American morals, including and up to harassing fans over their interpretations or gatekeeping whether or not a character "should" get development (while you shouldn't do that fucking period, it's rude and annoying- this is specifically for the people who use American standards without acknowledging the cultural gap between them and, you know, the fucking target audience) ((Like seriously, saying "It's different in Japan" is not the end all be all excusing someone's actions, but sometimes the author didn't immediately think that maybe (insert vaguely universal thing) was that bad or that heavy of a topic before they put it into their media. If you don't want to see things like that? Pick a different series and stop harassing the fans))

Getting mad at or making fun of Japan's attempts to satirize their own culture. (A good example is Ace Attorney! To most of us, it's just a funny laugh can you imagine if courts were actually like that- guess what? Japan's are! (Not that America's are actually that much better, they just look good on paper))

Making America/American issues the center of your fan spaces

(Usually without sharing or bringing light to the issues that other countries are going through)

Your

Experiences

Are

Not

Univseral!

Seriously, very few things across America, even, are universal. Texas things the hundreds are nothing while Minnesota's like "oh it's only thirty degrees below zero"- so for fucks sake, stop assuming that all other countries work in ways similar to America.

It's good and important to share Ameican issues with your American followers, but guess what? America isn't the only country out there, and it's certainly not the only one going through bullshit. Don't pull shit like "why's no one reblogging this?" or "why should I care about what's happening in (X country)?"

Don't assume everyone lives in America.

Stop assuming everyone lives in America.

America is not and has never been the target audience for anime, and it's certainly not the only country outside of Japan that enjoys it.

Like I said above, sometimes Japan attempts to satirize its own culture. We can't tell what is and isn't meant as satire, because it's not our culture.

Social media activism can be tiring and maybe you don't have the energy to focus on things that are out of your control, but, if someone tells you about the shit they're going through, don't bring American politics up.

For the neurodivergent crowd out there thinking, "But why?" it's because a lot of social media, especially, is very heavily Americanized- sometimes to the point where people assume that everyone is American. Not to mention, it's disheartening. I'm sorry to say, but you're not actually relating to the conversation, you're often diverting the focus away from the topic at hand. Even if you mean well, America is heavily pedestaled and talked about frequently, and people from other countries are tired of America taking precedent over their own issues.

Don't divert non-American issues into American ones. Seriously. It's not your place. Please just support the original issue or move on.

Racist Bullshit

This especially goes for islanders and South Asian characters, as well as poc characters (because, yes, Japan DOES have black people)

Making "funny" racist headcanons. Not fucking cool.

Changing the canon interpretation of an explicit character of color in order to fit racist stereotypes.

Whitewashing or color draining characters. Different artistic skill sets can be hard, yes, but are you seriously going to look at someone and say "I don't feel like accurately portraying you or people that look like you, because it's difficult for me." If someone tries to correct you on your cultural depiction of a character and/or their life style, don't be an ass. (If possible, it would be nice for those that do the corrections to be polite as well, but it does get really frustrating).

Seriously, no offense guys, but, if you want to persue art, you're going to need to learn to depict different body types, skin colors, and/or ethnic features.

On that note, purposefully, willingly, or consistently inaccurately portraying people or characters of color (especially if someone in the fandom has "called you out" or specifically told you that what you're doing comes across as racist and you continue to do it). If you need help or suck at looking things up, there are references for you! Ask your followers if they have tutorials on poc (issue that you're having), whether it be bodily portrayal, facial proportions, or coloring and shading. Art is so much more fun when you can depict a wider variety, and guess what? Before you drew the same skinny, basic, white character over and over, you couldn't even draw that!

Attempting or claiming to DEPECT CULTURAL ACCURACY within a work or meta, while being completely fucking wrong. ESPECIALLY and specifically if someone calls you out, and you refuse to fix, correct, or change anything.

*little side note that the discussion revolving art is a very multilayered conversation, and it has quite a few technical potholes, which I'll bring up again farther into this post.

Fucking history

Stop demonizing or for absolute fucks sake wubbifying Japanese history because UwU Japan ♡0♡ or bringing up shit like "you know they sided with Nazis, right?" It's good to recognize poor past decisions, but literally it's not your country keep your nose out of it. And? A lot of decisions made by countries were not made by their general peoples. Even those that were, often involved heavy propaganda that made them think what they were doing was right.

Seriously, it's not your country, not your history. Unless you have some sort of higher education (but honestly even then a lot of those contain heavy bias), just don't butt in.

^^^ this also goes to all countries that are NOT Japan (specifically when people from non American countries talk about their history while in fandoms and someone wants to Amerisplain to them why "well, actually-"). When we said, "question your sources," we didn't mean "question the people who know better than you, while blindly accepting the (more than likely biased) education you were given in the past."

What this does NOT include:

Fanfiction

FANfiction

FanFICTION

FANFICTION.

Seriously, fanfiction is literally UNPAID WORK from RANDOM FANS- a lot of which who are or have started as kids. ((No, I'm not trying to excuse racist depictions of people just because they're free, please see above where I talk about learning to grow a skill and how it's possible tone bad and get good, on top of the fact that some inaccuracies are not just willful ignorance))

"Looking it up" doesn't work

"Looking it up" almost never works

Please, for fucks sake, you know that most all online search engines are heavily biased, right? Not to mention, not everything is universal across the entirety of Japan. You want to look up how the school system works in Hokkaido? Well it's different from the ones in Osaka!

Most fanfiction is meant to be an idealized version of the world. Homophobia, transphobia, misogyny, ableism, and racism are very prevalent and heavy topics that some fan authors would prefer to avoid. (Keep in mind, this is also used by some people in those minorities often because thinking about how relevant those kinds of things are is to them every day).

A lot of shit that happens in writing is purely because it's an ideal setting. I've seen a few arguments recently about how fan authors portray Japanese schools wrong- listen, I can't tell you how many random school systems I have pulled from my ass purely because (I need them to interact at these points, in these ways). Sometimes the only compliment I can think of is 'I like your shirt' or sometimes I need character A to realize that character B likes the same thing as they do, so I might ignore the fact that most all Japanese schools require uniforms, so that I can put my character in a shirt that will get someone else's attention.

Sometimes it's difficult to find information on different types of systems, and sometimes when you DO know those things, they directly rule out a plot point that needs to happen (like back on the topic of schools (from what I've seen/heard/read- which guess what? Despite being from multiple sources, might still be inaccurate!) Japanese schools don't have mandatory elective classes (outside of like gym and most of them usually learn English or another language- I've seen stuff about art classes? But the information across the board varies.), but, if I need my character to walk in and see someone completely in their element, I'm probably not going to try and gun for accuracy or make up a million and two reasons as to why this (non elective) person would possibly need something from (elective teacher) after school of all things.)

Some experiences ARE universal- or at least overlap American and Japanese norms! Like friends going to fast food places after school doesn't /sound Japanese/ or whatever, but it's not like a horrible inaccuracy to say that your characters ate at McDonald's because they were hungry. Especially when you consider that the Japanese idolization of American "culture" is also a thing.

Also I saw someone complaining about how, in December, a lot of (usually westerners) write Christmas fics! Well, not only are quite a few of those often gift fics, with it being the season if giving and all, but Japanese people do celebrate Christmas! Not as "the birth of Christ," but rather as a popularized holiday about gift giving (also pst: America isn't the only place that celebrates Christmas)

But, on that note, sometimes things like Holidays are "willfully ignorant" of what actually happens (I've made this point several times, but (also this does by no means excuse actual racism)), because, again: plot convenience! Hey what IF they celebrated Halloween by Trick or Treating? What if Easter was a thing and they got to watch their kids or younger siblings crawl around on the ground looking for tiny plastic eggs?

Fanfiction authors can put in hours of work for one or two thousand words- let alone ten thousand words, fifty thousand words, a hundred thousand words. And all of these are free. There is absolutely no (legal) way to make money off of their fanworks, but they spent hours, days, weeks, months- sometimes even years- writing. It is so unnecessary to EXPECT or REQUIRE them to spend even more hours looking up shit that, no offense, almost no one is going to notice. No one is going go care that all of my combini prices are accurate or that I wrote a fic with a Japanese map of a train station that I had to backwards search three times to find an English version that I could read.

Not everyone has the attention span or ability to spend hours of research before writing a single word. Neurodivergent people are literally a thing yall. Instead of producing the perfectly pretty accurate version of Japan that people want to happen, what ACTUALLY happens is that the writer reads and reads and reads and either never finds the information they need or they lose the motivation to write.

^^^ (This does NOT apply to indigenous or native peoples, like Pacific Islanders or tribes that exist in real life. Please make sure that you portray tribal minorities accurately. If you can't find the information you need (assuming that the content of the series is not specifically about a tribe), please just make one up (and for fucks sake, recognize that a lot of what you've been taught about tribal practices, such as shit like human sacrifices or godly worship, is actually just propaganda.)

Not to mention, it often puts a wall in front of readers who would then need to pull up their OWN information (that may or may not be biased) just in order to interact with the fic ((okay, this one has a little bit of arguability when it comes to things like measurements and currency, because Americans don't know what a meter is and no one else knows what a foot is- either way, one of yall is going to have to look up measurements if they want to get a better understanding of the fic)). However, a lot of Americans who do write using 'feet, Fahrenheit, dollars,' also write for their American followers or friends (which really could go both ways).

On a less easily arguable side, most fic readers aren't going to open up a new tab just to search everything that the author has written (re the whole deep topics, not everyone wants to read about those sorts of things, either). Not only are you making it more difficult on the writer, but you're also making it more difficult for the reader who's now wondering why you decided to add in Grandma's Katsudon recipe, and whether or not the details you have added are accurate.

Some series, themselves, ignore Japanese norms! Piercings, hair dye, and incorrectly wearing ones uniform are frowns upon in Japanese schools- sometimes up to inflicting punishment on those students because of it. However, some anime characters still have naturally or dyed blond hair some of them still have piercings or wear their uniforms wrong. Some series aren't set specifically in Japan, but rather in a vague based-off-real-life Japan that's just slightly different (like Haikyuu and all of its different prefectures). Sometimes they're based on real places, but real places that have gone through major changes (like the Hero Academia series with its quirks and shit).

Fandom is not a full time job. Please stop treating it like it is one. Most people in fandoms have to engage in other things like school or work that most definitely take precident over frantically Googling the cultural implications of dying your hair pink in Japan.

Art is also meant to be a creative freedom and is almost always a hobby, so there are a few cracks that tend to spark debate. Like I said, it is still a hobby, something that's meant to be fun (on this note!)

If trying new things and expanding your portfolio is genuinely making you upset, it's okay to take a break from it. You're not going to get it right on the first try and please, please to everyone out there critiquing artists' works, please take this into account before you post things.

I'm sorry to say, but, while it gets frustrating to see the same things done wrong over and over again, some people are genuinely trying. If it matters enough for you to point out, please offer solutions or resources that would possibly help the artist do better (honestly this could be said about a lot of online activism). I get that they should "want" to do better (and maybe they don't and your annoyance towards them is completely justified- again, as I said, if this becomes a repeated offense and they don't listen to or care about the people trying to help them, yeah you can be a bitch if it helps you feel better- just please don't assume that everyone is willfully ignorant of how hurtful/upsetting/annoying a certain way of portraying things is), but also WANTING to do better and ACTUALLY doing better are two different things.

Maybe they didn't realize what they were doing was inaccurate. Maybe they didn't have the right tutorials. Maybe they tried to look it up, but that failed them. Either way, to some- especially neurodivergent artists- just being told that their work is bad or racist or awful isn't going to make them want to search for better resources in order to be more accurate, it's just going to make them give up.

Also! In fic and in writing, no one is going to get it right on the first try. Especially at the stage where we creators ARE merely in fan spaces is a great time to "fuck around and find out", before we bring our willfully or accidentally racist shit into monetized media. Absolutely hold your fan creators to higher standards, but literally fan work has so little actual impact on popular media (and this goes for just about every debate about fan spaces), and constructive criticism as well as routine practice can mean worlds for representation in future media. NOT allowing for mistakes in micro spaces like fandoms is how you get genuinely harmful or just... bad... portrayals of minorities in popularized media that DOES have an impact on the greater public. OR you get a bunch of creators who are too afraid to walk out of their own little bubbles, because what if they get it wrong and everyone turns against them. It's better to just "stick with what they know" (hobbies are something that you are meant to get better at, even if that is a slow road- for all of my writers and artists out there, it does take time, but you will get it. To everyone else, please do speak up about things that are wrong, but don't make it all about what's wrong and please don't be rude. It's frustrating on both ends, so, if you can, please try not to escalate the situation more.)

Anyways, I'm tired of everyone holding fictional characters to American Puritanical standards, but I'm also tired of seeing every "stop Americanizing fandom" somehow loop into fanfiction and how all authors who don't make their fics as accurate as possible are actually just racist and perpetuating or enabling America's take over of the world or some shit.

Fan interpretation of published media is different than fan creation of mon monetized media. Americans dominating or monopolizing spaces meant for all fans (especially in a fandom that was never meant for them to begin with) is annoying and can be harmful sometimes. Americans writing out their own personal experience using random fictional characters (more often than not) isn't.

#just google it #better represent real life #if you tell a fic reader to ngl you're being pretty ableist and don't really have a good idea of how search engines work #also when people DO try to make culturally accurate fics often times at least one or two people will pop in and say 'actually that's wrong'#not to mention sometimes they might not even be right to begin with...#and okay once or twice it is what it is #but seriously if this keeps happening over and over most people are just going to stop writing or caring #fanfiction #fanfiction is literally free #fanfiction is free labor #adding layers upon layers of research and knowledge needed- on top of how difficult it can be to portray human emotion #it's not going to it's just going to make once starry eyed writers loss their ability to enjoy their work #and guess what #some ACTUALLY racist (or homophobic or transphobic or misogynistic) writer is going to swoop in not giving two fucks #and they're going to go on and get their work published because they don't care about accuracy

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stomp-that-ho-regard · 4 years

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Retcon

noun

(in a film, television series, or other fictional work) a piece of new information that imposes a different interpretation on previously described events, typically used to facilitate a dramatic plot shift or account for an inconsistency.

verb

revise (an aspect of a fictional work) retrospectively, typically by introducing a piece of new information that imposes a different interpretation on previously described events.

Retroactive Continuity

Reframing past events to serve a current plot need. [...] In its most basic form, this is any plot point that was not intended from the beginning. [...]

Post-hiatus C2, and the Great Retcon...

(The retconning really started with the playlists, but we’ll come back to those.)

First, some context:

SDCC (July ‘18) - Marisha was asked directly about Beau and Yasha and if she and Ashley had discussed it. “After the first few times that I kinda put the moves on her, we were at break, and I could sense that Ashley was wanting to ask me something. And she was like, ‘Hey, I’m just curious... is Beau- ’ And at that exact moment someone’s like, ‘Yo Ashley! We gotta go! We gotta get on stage!’ And I was like, ‘Bye!’” Then Brian asked, “And you haven’t had a further conversation about it?” Marisha said, “Nope!”

(Seven months into the campaign, and no discussions. Hmm.)

NYCC (Oct. ‘18) - Marisha was asked about who would Beau get flustered over if they ever flirted back, and yes, she said Yasha and laughed, but then said, “It’s like throwing pebbles at a brick wall.” Meaning, she was putting stuff out there and not getting anything back. (And, she really wasn’t. I still remember when a major portion of the fandom, including the diehard shippers [of which I was one at the time], weren’t sure if Ashley was even interested in this. More than that, it wasn’t until the Zuala reveal, that the fandom and the players found out for certain that Yasha was actually into women.)

(To me, Marisha’s answer here also suggests that at this point, there were still no discussions.)

Talks Machina for ep61 (May ‘19) - Marisha was asked ‘What was going through Beau's mind when Yasha revealed her past with Zuala? Has this changed any feelings Beau might have? Or has Beau's character growth allowed her to mature a little more with regards to her feelings about Yasha?’ Which Marisha instantly pegged as a shipping question. And she said, “I’m trying to figure out a way to answer this to not ruin everyone’s internal canon, in their brains. I don’t want people to overestimate Beau’s intentions towards Yasha. But then also, is that on me? Have I been leading everybody on?”

So, you had all of that, all the way up to ep61.

None of this indicates that ‘it’s been happening since ep1′ or that it’s ‘the slowest of slow burns.’ In fact, it shuts that down completely.

Moving forward to the Beau and Fjord convo (ep108)...

Marisha suddenly having Beau say “There was something about Yasha from the moment that I saw her”. She’s retrospectively attempting to give that moment more weight, when (based on the examples above) we know that the over-the-top flirting was just for fun. And truthfully, she really wasn’t flirting with Yasha any differently than she was flirting with any hot female NPC the party crossed paths with.

And now it’s clear that that one line she said is the reason why BY shippers have suddenly clung on to the idea that “It’s been happening since episode one! SLOooOowBuUuuUrn!!!!!” when its clear that it was not planned. (Not before the hiatus-from-hell, anyway.)

Then Marisha having Beau go from describing Jester as “She's fun. She makes me laugh. I like her ridiculous plans. I think she's complicated and layered.” to “It’s easy to lust after her”. I’ll direct you to Talks for ep85. After Marisha had mentioned that it was a bunch of little things that build, and then pinpointed a few of them, Brian tried to make a joke and said “So you’re saying it’s been more a series, than just one moment that you can point to and say ‘It was right here when I went, let’s fuck!’” Marisha specifically countered that with “It’s not even about 'let’s fuck’. It’s nothing sexual in this case.” (Having her backpedal on this so heavily was such a huge gut punch and was the thing that wholly soured everything for me.)

There were so many better, more delicate ways Marisha could’ve had Beau examine/come to grips with her feelings for both women, but all the reduction and saying they were ‘transferable’ was nothing short of insulting.

On that same Talks episode, Marisha also said this: “Going into this campaign all of us were like, ‘No relationships!’ I didn’t want it! I didn’t ask for this!”, while smiling. What this shows me is that she was thinking of a relationship in regards to Beau’s feelings for Jester. As if she was maybe even anticipating this culminating into something? Why even mention relationships at all if this was nothing serious and was always meant to fall by the wayside?

Brian then followed up with, “In my opinion, as a viewer, Beau’s someone who seems to be on the search for innocence. Whether innocence lost or just innocence in general. And to me it makes sense that you would be attracted to someone who exudes genuine and sort of intrinsic innocence.” Marisha replied with “Fairly astute.”

The next question was, ‘Beau has taken a pretty casual, no-strings-attached approach toward sex and relationships so far. How do her feelings for Jester compare to her previous romantic flings?’ Marisha answered immediately and very seriously with, “Noncomparable. It’s more than that.” She wasn’t playing coy and it didn’t take her a century to find the words. She didn’t even have to think about it. Succinct and direct.

How did all of that ‘organically’ disappear completely, after only 14 episodes?

(Everything felt more genuine back then, because it seemed like Marisha was going where the character was taking her, and not where she thought the character should be going.)

Post-hiatus, everyone and their mother are acting like BY is some epic romance-of-the-ages that was all mapped out, and like Beau having feelings for Jester was just some sort of temporary curveball. That Beau was confused, or was just missing Yasha and projected onto Jester.

That’s really fucked up no matter how you try to justify it. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen another piece of media backpedal this hard, and this callously.

None of that squares with what we were shown or with what we were told. Until, everybody made a hard pivot and now they've done (and continue to) do everything they can to rewrite campaign history, even though we have plenty of footage that contradicts the new ‘company line’.

Now, where the retconning truly began, with the playlists...

Remember the first round of playlists? Those were released randomly, whenever the cast felt like posting them. I also don’t remember there being announcements every time one came out either.

This time though, they had a fixed schedule, complete with official twitter announcements. As they started to just get back into the swing of things, Yasha’s playlist was released right after the first episode back.

So, right out of the gate, they had to make sure they started to drill home a certain mindset for viewers. That’s why Yasha had a song called ‘Let Me Hold You’. (Lo and behold, a few episodes in, Beau randomly asks Yasha to hold her.) A few weeks later, Beau’s playlist was released, and there was a song with the caption saying ‘Ultimately, all she really wants is someone to hold, and someone to hold her’. (But sure, no planning here! The wording is just a total coincidence, folks!)

The other song, directly about Yasha, mentions ‘a crush forged in battle’ (ok), and ‘awkward flirtations’ (???). Yasha never openly flirted with Beau before the hiatus, until maybe right after the Obann arc, in a very vague way.

On Beau’s playlist, there’s nothing about Jester. The one track that mentions her is actually about Artagan. Which, after all they’ve been through together, is fucking ridiculous no matter how you slice it.

In addition to that, Marisha had made Beau’s time in Kamordah (ep92/e93), and the incidents with her family and the Hag, about the group now, not about Jester, fully contradicting her own reiterated words that ‘Jester saved Beau’.

When Beau was talking to her dad, reverting back to her old self and getting all riled up, Jester helped her in that moment, and saved her. Yes, the group was very supportive, and yes, Yasha said something to him before they left the house (that Beau was out of earshot for by the way), but Jester was Beau’s rock throughout that whole thing.

With the Hag, when the group was having a hard time coming up with a solution, and they realized they might actually lose Beau, Jester stepped up and took control of the situation. She, single-handedly, saved Beau/the group from the Hag. And with that, Jester also became Beau’s hero.

In both instances, Marisha thanked Laura/Jester. First on Talks for ep92 with both of them on it. She reiterated, “You saved me. You saved Beau.” Then on Twitter after ep93 with, “Still processing last night. Saved by a cupcake? Eh - saved by @LauraBaileyVO ... again.”

But now suddenly, it’s the group. Just the group?

Now, don’t get me wrong. The entire party showing Beau support was incredibly important. The M9 showed her that they value her, that she’s important to them. It solidified the theme of ‘found family’, which was beautiful. But, to not also highlight how crucial Jester was in all of this, after making such a big deal about it?

That is very deliberate retconning of some hugely important, highly emotional moments for Beau that directly involved Jester.

Any of Beau’s organic and genuine connection with Jester (which encompasses their deep friendship as well as Beau’s romantic feelings) has been massively reduced (and now erased), specifically to prop up a supposed ‘deep’ connection with someone else that was barely ever there, is still barely there, and has no actual depth at all.

Case in point, the BY date (ep126) showcased this fact to the most extreme degree...

Yasha’s infamous line: “I fell in love with you in Kamordah.” So, Yasha literally watched Beau relive her childhood trauma, and caught feelings during it. I’m not wrong in thinking that that’s just a little disturbing, am I? Also, if that’s the moment she supposedly fell for her, why did she not offer her any form of help? I mean, besides that one sweet moment with TJ, the entire time Beau was in Kamordah, she was the most broken down she’d ever been and needed some real comfort, which is something Yasha did not give her. (Jester did though. In spades.)

So, on multiple levels, this seems highly out-of-place.

Several people have said that that line was not thought through. In my opinion, it actually was thought through and was only said specifically to have viewers completely dismiss everything else that happened in the Kamordah episodes. Despite the FACT that Beau and Yasha barely interacted during those episodes, they have now stripped down the party’s experience there, and twisted it into a giant BY shipping moment. (Further feeding into the retcon.)

Their ‘trip down memory lane’ was laughable. Most of the things that were mentioned, Yasha wasn’t even around for.

Gee, remember when the cast was actually good at separating what they knew from what their character knew? When you start injecting what you know into your character (who isn’t supposed to know, because they literally were not physically there), you are metagaming.

The entire date was one big metagaming bonanza. And it had to be, or else they would’ve had nothing to talk about. There is not one thing they have to call their own. To people who don’t have BY tunnel vision, it was made glaringly obvious that they have nothing in common and their dynamic is fairly shallow. Meanwhile, the rest of the cast are sitting there watching this unfold, smiling and nodding along as if it all makes perfect sense and isn’t utterly ridiculous. (And I’m sitting here wondering when I got shunted into the Twilight Zone.)

The shallowness holds true for FJ as well. Aside from both of them being from the Menagerie Coast, what exactly do they have in common?

While Fjord has grown as a character, as far as Jester goes, he still does not seem to have the capacity to fully understand her as a person, or fully respect her abilities/emotional strength/intelligence. He doubted her often, which led to Jester getting irritated with him several times over the course of at least the last third of the pre-hiatus episodes. He even continued to doubt her judgment (in regards to the Traveler) in the post-hiatus Rumblecusp episodes. But hey, they’ve kissed now (ep118) so all of that gets wiped clean, and he’s being touted as her ultimate romantic soulmate who’s oh-so-perfect for her.

For fuck’s sake, why does that sound like something pulled right out of a CW show?

(I'm convinced that the only reason FJ is ‘popular’ is because the shippers have projected Travis and Laura’s real-life marriage onto the characters. If Fjord and Jester were played by different people, or Travis and Laura were not together, people would realize how paper-thin and half-assed this pairing is and hardly anyone would care about it.)

Beau and Jester had developed the deepest, most genuine friendship and overall dynamic in the entire party, that should have absolutely been given the chance to be explored further. They constructed a pretty solid foundation that could have easily been built upon, and the fact that it’s been unceremoniously pulverized and snuffed out in favor of such overwhelming tepidity and flavorlessness will never not infuriate me.

Finally, to finish this off, I will say with my whole chest, that that is one of many nasty, rotten patterns that I’ve seen far too much of in all kinds of scripted media, which is...

Not wanting to commit to the thing that’s actually growing organically, because it’ll ruffle too many feathers. It’s too inconvenient. It gets in the way. Because of course, nobody wants to do that. Nobody wants to take a risk, or you know, actually follow where the natural fucking chemistry is taking you. Of course not! Heaven forbid, we go down a different road! You have to go with what’s ‘expected’, no matter what, at the great expense of something new that’s come along that’s clearly better. Even when what’s expected is hollow as fuck and doesn’t make sense anymore, because characters have grown and dynamics have changed, they decide to dig their heels in with the most fanservice-y options instead.

Yet this is UNSCRIPTED media. A D&D campaign, that’s supposed to be mostly improvised. D&D, that’s all about taking chances/going with your gut/making bold choices/etc., from people who have claimed up and down that they “like to see things play out at the table”.

So why are those same disingenuous patterns being utilized here too?

One of the big reasons I got into CR was because I naively believed that because the format was different, that the storytelling would be different. I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about running into this nonsense here. That I wouldn’t have to worry about getting bullshitted, jerked around, and having my intelligence insulted left and right, but alas, here we are.

In conclusion... [TL;DR, kinda?]

Reframing past events (between B & J, and B & Y) to serve a current plot need (railroading BY):

Beau playlist ignores Jester’s importance to what transpired in Kamordah. (minimizing/erasure)

Beau playlist doesn’t acknowledge/hint at Beau’s feelings for Jester. (total erasure. could have at least included a song about feelings being lost, or being confused about feelings for a friend, but Marisha took the cowardly route, and didn’t bother mentioning it at all.)

Beau playlist claims that Beau and Yasha have both been flirting forever. (easily debunked by session footage.)

In her conversation with Fjord, Beau says, “There was something about Yasha from the moment I saw her”. (it was just about hooking up then, and stayed that way for a majority of the campaign. This line suggests that Beau has had ‘deeper feelings’ for and/or has been ‘in love’ with Yasha since the first episode, that this was all intentional build-up, which again, is easily debunked by session footage, panels, and TM.)

In her conversation with Fjord, Beau says, “It’s easy to lust after her.” (minimizing/erasure/twisting of Beau’s feelings for Jester, which Marisha had previously stated were ‘noncomparable’ , ‘more than that’, and that her attraction is ‘nothing sexual in this case.’)

This isn’t a fucking conspiracy theory. This is plain evidence of a planned retcon.

#op #super long post #uber rant #happy thursday! ;)#beaujester #i wrote this up back in december but didn't have the energy to finish it until now #it got longer as i went #guess i still have a lot of bitching left in me lol #that's what happens when you feel like you've been getting kicked in the teeth for nine months

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mageofseven · 4 years

Text

Part 3! This is the last part, containing Beel and Belphie's sections below the cut. Please enjoy~

Part 1 | Part 2

Beelzebub:

Things were peaceful with the pregnancy for a while.

Even in the beginning, when MC was barely showing and faced very little issues, the sixth brother was waiting on her hand and foot

And he almost always had a smile on his face. He was just insanely happy about becoming a dad, about having a baby with MC.

He handled every thing more or less with stride.

When she started showing and the woman felt self-conscious about the fact that she was losing her figure, he'd hold her close and kiss her, telling how beautiful she was, that the belly she was growing made her no less so. In fact, it made her even more beautiful because to him, what her body was doing was a beautiful thing: growing and carrying his child, something that meant the world to him.

Yeah, he was a bit anxious about how things would go since Lucifer told them the pregnancy could become dangerous for her, but he was still truly happy for the two of them to become parents.

Unlike his siblings in the other timelines, Beel had no fears about how he'll be as a dad; he knew he had so much love to give their son or daughter and was ready to give it.

It wasn't until MC's fourth month when some concerns were raised.

MC's belly had grew at an unusual rate. Despite just entering her fourth month, her belly was roughly the size of what it should be in her sixth or even seventh month of pregnancy, according to Satan.

Beel didn't really know anything specific about pregnancy so he didn't see it as anything to worry about. I mean, he was the Avatar of Gluttony and this was his baby. MC developed quite the appetite because of this and was eating at least twice more than she used to. Surely that's all this was? And if so, the man couldn't see it as anything dangerous, at least.

Still, MC's anxiety grew over it, causing him talk over it more with the blonde to figure out if there was anything he could do for her.

And so the time came; the rune! Satan drew the rune over the human's belly to collect the data they needed.

After a minute or two of absorbing the data, the blonde raised an eyebrow.

"What is it?" MC asked.

"It... well, I suppose for a start, Beel is correct that his sin is part of the reason for the growth spurt." Satan began. "But only partly."

Beel leaned towards his brother, listening closely.

"However, there are some more difficult elements at play here." The fourth brother continued. "The most pressing being... the number."

"I... what?" The woman stared at the demon in front of her.

"It seems you two are having twins. Two girls, in fact."

Beel immediately pulled MC in for a hug. The woman cried heavy tears, but they were paired with a smile. The big guy teared up as well.

"Twins. Beely, we're having two little girls." She said from inside his arms.

"I know." The man pulled back and gave her a sweet kiss before laying both hands on her belly. "Our little girls--"

"I hate to interrupt," The Avatar of Wrath said, but of course, did so anyway. "But... do either of you realize the danger this poses to any degree?"

Beel turned back to his brother, furrowing his brow.

Satan sighed.

"Beel... one baby was going to be rough on her body, but two?" He pointed out. "Honestly Beel, she'll likely be eating at least as much as you, if not more, and that still might not be enough for her body. It's manageable now, but once she enters the last trimester, it'll be very difficult to keep two gluttony demon children fed as well as the mother they're siphoning nutrition off of faster than she can get it."

Basically, MC was going to be eating an extreme amount of food and still literally be starving. That's how Beel understood it at least.

The man looked at his girlfriend and frowned in worry. He hated feeling hungry and didn't wish that on his Muffin, but knew she'll end up feeling even worse than that.

"Is there anything I can do for her now?" The redhead asked.

"Right now... all we can do is stock up and hope for the best." The blonde answered. "Lucifer should probably be informed so things can be planned out."

And so he did. He walked his girlfriend to their bedroom so she could lie down for a bit while he went to Lucifer's study to inform him. The older brother was instantly stressed out, but let out a sigh and told him that he'll handle it.

Lucifer did warn Beel though that he probably won't be able to eat as much as he's used to because of this. The Avatar of Gluttony only nodded. If he had to go hungry to keep MC fed and alive then so be it. It was worth it to him.

As the months went by, Satan's predictions were proven true. By half way through her seventh month, MC was bedridden. Her belly had grown so big that she literally could not get out of bed on her own.

The woman was never alone though. She constantly had either Beel or Belphie or both with her to bring her food or carry her to the bathroom or cuddle her so she didn't get lonely.

What was equally as worrisome as her gravid boulder of a belly was the rest of her. The woman had lost so much weight in her thighs, arms, and face that she looked like she's been starved for years.

Each touch of Beel's was extra gentle because his girlfriend looked so fragile like this. He was afraid to hurt her even more, especially because of their girls' kicks.

The twins had inherited their daddy's strength. Occasionally, one or both of them would kick their mama a bit too hard, causing a bruise to form on her belly.

This led to lots of belly time. Beel would kiss and rub his Muffin's belly while talking to his girls, telling them how loved they are, but how they need to be more gentle with their mama.

Despite how difficult the situation was, both Beel and MC kept positive, smiling through it. After all, this was all for their little girls so of course it was worth it.

Good End:

Oh this poor woman. It took ten months of pregnancy, being a full month over due, but her twins were finally ready to come out into the world and meet their parents.

It was a long twelve hours for the couple; after all, these were two very big, overdue demon babies of gluttony being pushed out by a mom they've seriously weakened for months now. Yet despite the odds, both Mama and babies made it out okay.

Beel kissed his girlfriend's head and watched as she fed their girls. Their girls. This was really happening. Beel was a daddy. His sweet Muffin was a mama and those sweet girls feeding from her chest were their daughters, sporting his hair, eye color, horns, even delicate versions of his wings, but still had all of their mother's facial features. They were identical, unlike him and Belphie, but the demon truly hoped the two could forge just as strong of a bond together as he had with his twin.

When the two were done drinking, Beel took the one from MC's left arm and brought her into his own. Just then, a knock came to the door and it clicked open to reveal Belphie, who Beel texted a few minutes ago; he wanted his twin to be the very first one to see his daughters.

The couple smiled at him.

"Belphie, come see them." MC invited him to come closer.

The seventh brother approached the bed and gave a small smile.

"So... whose who?"

MC looked up to Beel, letting her boyfriend introduce them. The man smiled.

"This is Arsenia." The redhead stared down at the little girl in his arms, kissing her head before looking to the one in MC's arms. "And right there is Anais."

The three talked for a bit and watched the babies before MC needed to sleep. Beel laid the twins in their cribs before giving his Muffin a quick kiss on her head.

"Sweet dreams, Muffin. Thank you for everything." He smiled.

Bad End:

Twelve hours. Twelve hours of labor that seemed like it was going no where. The first baby was barely even crowning after all this time and MC was losing what remained of her strength. The woman honestly didn't know how much more she could take.

Beel felt so helpless as he watched her struggle. He was so hyperfocused on his Muffin that he hadn't even thought of food once during these twelve hours and even a non gluttony demon would be getting hungry right then.

It took another hour, but MC eventually got the head out and then the shoulders. But that was it. That was as far as she made it. She had lost the last of her strength and just... faded away at that moment. Beel couldn't accept it at first and just kept calling her name and shaking her shoulder, begging her to wake up. But she didn't. The man let out a howl of pain before collapsing on his knees in sobs. He cried for a minute before remembering his girls.

Beel quickly shot up and freed the first baby, Arsenia, from her mother's body. Anais... Anais, he never got to save. They never knew it, but the cord had been wrapped around her neck for most of the labor and she left them before even MC did.

And just like that, the Avatar of Gluttony lost his Muffin and one of his daughters. As he held tightly to Arsenia though, he vowed that he would never, ever let any harm come to her.

Beel was a loving, but fiercely protective father. His daughter handled it in stride for the first twelve years of her life, but after that, grew to really resent him. He never let her truly live her life. By fifteen, she actually ran away to the Human realm in search of what was left of her mother's side of the family, leaving a note saying that she couldn't handle him suffocating her anymore. Arsenia had succeeded in finding her grandma and Lucifer convinced Beel to just let her be for a few days. Then he came to get her and the two had a heart to heart talk.

The man didn't know how he could grow to let go more; all he knew was his fear. This was his daughter. His worse nightmare was losing her just like he did with MC and Anais. But he knew if he didn't learn then he was just going to lose her in another way. The man just didn't know what to do anymore. Not without MC, who kept him grounded. Not without MC, who he sees everytime he looks at his daughter's face. And so he was stuck feeling desperate and lost and just wanting his daughter to understand him and be happy.

Belphegor:

After the two's three month fight, Belphie was dedicated to taking care of MC.

He was an ass to her when he found out of she was pregnant and he knew it, never even denied it, but it came from a place of fear and love for his human.

Seeing just how important this baby was to her though... it was enough for him to bury his fear deep inside of himself for her. He had to; she needed him and he was not going to abandon her again.

Her second trimester was... well, let's just say he stepped in to support her at just the right time.

MC was always so exhausted and went through her days in almost a daze.

She even passed out at the dinner table one evening, face falling straight onto her plate.

Normally, the Avatar of Sloth would find this funny, but the pregnancy had him on edge.

She woke up fairly easily though. Just a couple shakes of her shoulder and the woman was lifting her head, wondering why there was mashed potatoes in her hair.

That was enough for him though. Belphie picked his girlfriend up and carried her to his room. He cleaned the food out of her hair before laying her back on the bed.

"I'm sorry..." She mumbled.

"Don't apologize, Butthead." He said softly, pulling her to his chest.

He knew she couldn't help it. In general, pregnancy could be tiring, but when the baby daddy is the literal Avatar of Sloth? Yeah, that made things harder.

The human fell asleep, barely staying conscious long enough to hear his response.

Belphie leaned in and kissed her forehead.

Even after such an early bed time, MC didn't wake up in the morning. Or the afternoon. Belphie was tense as hell, but tried to be patient.

Around 3pm, after sleeping for about twenty hours straight, the man tried shaking his girlfriend awake. But she wouldn't.

Belphie started freaking out and shaking her harder. She still wouldn't wake up.

He had to triple check that she was alive. And she was; the woman still breathed slow, sleepy breaths and had a calm pulse like any sleeping person would.

But she wasn't waking up? Why?

At some point, the younger brother wasn't sure when, but Beel had gotten up and rushed to Lucifer.

The oldest brother put a hand on his youngest brother's shoulder, stopping him from shaking the human anymore.

Belphie instantly shook the oldest off and gave him a glare.

"Stop, she's not waking up!"

"Shaking her is not going to help the situation."

Belphie was frustrated with the Avatar of Pride, but knew he was right. But what else could he do?

Lucifer did most of the talking with Beel after that. The two went back and forth on different things as Belphie simply held his girlfriend close.

Eventually, the two left the room and came back with Satan, book in hand. Belphie growled as the blonde approached the bed.

Satan sighed.

"Enough with that. I believe I know a way to figure out the problem."

And with that, the fourth brother explained step by step everything he was going to do.

The boyfriend scowled, but let the blonde do what he needed to do.

Satan opened his book and laid it on the bed. He gave a glance at the page before pulling down the blanket and raising up the woman's shirt.

Belphie growled again, but stopped as Beel laid a hand on his arm. The man then took a deep breath and just sat up, watching the blonde's movements carefully as he guarded his girlfriend. Yeah, Satan was his brother, but more importantly, that was his girlfriend the blonde was messing with. Whatever he does, he better be gentle.

The three other men watched as the Avatar of Wrath drew a rune around MC's navel. The woman stirred, making some noises in her sleep, but didn't awake.

When the blonde finished the rune, it glowed a very bright purple. The fourth brother raised an eyebrow at this.

"It's... not supposed to do that." The blonde picked up his book, rereading the passage once more.

"What did you do?" Belphie immediately jumps to the worse scenarios.

Satan waved off his words and continued to read the passage.

"It's suppose to glow green since I am the rune's scripter... however, it shows itself in your color."

The Avatar of Sloth didn't say a word; he didn't understand what was going on. He looked down at his human, whose sleep had turned a bit restless since the other man drew the rune on her.

The fourth brother finally sat down the book and reached out to lay his hand on the rune

...and was immediately shocked.

Satan cursed and pulled his hand towards his chest.

"What happened?" Lucifer asked.

The fourth brother just shook his head and breathed for a minute in order to keep calm.

"It... I seemed to be locked out." The blonde answered in a controlled voice.

"What do you mean, you're locked--"

"It means I don't have control over the rune!" The Avatar of Wrath snapped at the oldest before taking a deep breath. "Belphie, you do it."

"Do what?"

"Just put your hand on the rune; it'll do the rest."

Belphie stared at his brother for a minute before slowly laying his hand on MC's belly, right above the rune.

Suddenly, his eyes glowed as his brain was flooded with information.

Okay, first off, he learned the rune was purple because of the baby. As soon as they sensed the rune intruding on their safe place, the baby locked Satan out... apparently to protect themselves and their mother. Belphie only has access because they seem to trust him.

It also seemed that the baby has inherited their dad's protective instincts. Belphie approves.

That's not the only thing they got from him though.

The reason MC has been out cold for past twenty hours is because they inherited their dad's miasma powers, the ability that he uses with his aura to weaken people and put them to sleep

The very same power he used the night he killed MC.

Belphie wanted to curse, to scream, to aim all his anger at the little being doing this to her

But then he discovered why.

The baby... they sensed their mama's great distress, something MC had been trying so hard to hide from him.

It all went back to the first revelation; the baby was protective of their mother. They weren't just protecting her from outside forces, but from herself too.

Lastly, he learned learned that there was no single baby; there was two

Twins. A boy and a girl.

Belphie pried away his hand so quickly that he almost fell off of the bed. If it wasn't for Beel being right behind him and catching him, he would have.

"What is it?" His twin asked.

Oh dear devil, where should he even start? The seventh brother didn't even know if he wanted to say anything; he just wanted time to let it all sit within him, but he had three pairs of eyes trained on him at the moment.

Belphie glanced down at MC's sleeping face and a fresh wave of guilt washed over him. She was essentially being drugged into sleep by his kids. Once again, this was his fault.

Sensing how overwhelmed his twin was, Beel turned to Lucifer and said some things that the younger twin didn't even try to hear before the oldest and the blonde left the room, leaving the twins alone.

Belphie sat with his knees to his chest and hid his face in his arms.

Beel came up and hugged his brother.

"It's my fault..." Belphie's voice cracked.

The younger twin told the redhead everything, who listened patiently to all of it.

Beel's arms tightened around his brother.

"You know she wouldn't blame you for it." Beel told him.

"Doesn't change the fact that it's my fault..."

The twins talked together for a little over an hour. After that, Belphie fell asleep next to MC and Beel left to update Lucifer.

The conclusion? Wait. All they could do for now is wait. Satan looked into some human-safe potions that would be strong enough to wake MC if she took too long, but otherwise, waiting is all they could do.

Two days later, MC woke up in severe need of water. Beel ran to go get some for her as Belphie held her close, relief washing over him.

A few bottles of water later, MC asked what happened.

Belphie didn't know what to say. Or rather... how to tell her.

But he did. He admitted everything with a heavy heart and actually apologized to her.

Wide eyed, his girlfriend pulled him in for a hug.

"Hey... none of that." She told him. "I'm fine, I-- it's okay."

The two laid there and cuddled for a while. Belphie laid with his head on her chest, feeling it rise and fall with each breath (and being incredibly grateful for each one) as his girlfriend stroked his hair.

"So...twins?" She asked softly. "How...how do you feel about that?"

Belphie let out a sigh. How could she lay there and worry about him despite the situation she was in?

It didn't help that the demon honestly had no clue to how to answer that. How did he feel about any of this now?

He hated all of this in the beginning and he resented this baby for even existing. Since his experience with the rune and getting the chance to understand the babies inside of her... he really didn't know.

They seemed... anxious and overall just wanted to protect their mother. That was no different from Belphie himself.

His twins just... devil, he could feel his heart softening for them as he thinks over everything.

He didn't resent them anymore, but how did he feel about them? About there being two of them?

Honestly, it sounded like a hassle. Even once this whole pregnancy is done with, MC and him will have twice the responsibility; he was exhausted just thinking about it.

Still, he accepted it all.

"Dummy, you shouldn't be worrying about what I think." Belphie shook his head. "...How do you feel about it?"

Silence.

"A bit... scared." She admitted. "I don't want you to get overwhelmed again and... and leave me."

Belphie sat up and stared down at her.

"I'm not leaving you. Ever." He said firmly. "I know I was a dick in the beginning, but I'm staying with you. Period."

MC looked away.

"Y-Yeah, but..."

Devil, he had to keep her stress levels down or their twins are gonna drug her again. The demon leaned in and kissed his girlfriend before laying his head back down on her chest.

"I love you, Butthead." He mumbled. "I'm not leaving you or our kids so stop worrying."

He could feel her body relax underneath him.

Months went by with very little issues. She went through somedays with a really froggy mind and that was concerning on it's own because she was extra clumsy like this, tripping over furniture and starting little fires in the kitchen.

Belphie and Beel were always hovering around her because of this, ready to catch her when she tripped. They also took over her cooking duty and took turns. MC felt bad and said she should be contributing more, but Belphie would always silence her with a kiss and tell her she's contributing enough by carrying his little gremlins.

This made her smile because she knew he was joking. If he was able to joke about them like that then there must be affection for them underneath it all. And she was right.

Her coma-like sleeps were rare but they did happen twice more in her pregnancy. Luckily between Belphie and Beel, they were able to keep her stress down enough to where it usually wasn't an issue.

Good End:

MC had woken him up in the middle of the night. Her contractions started while she was asleep and woke her up when they got too strong for her to sleep through. Belphie woke up to her crying and clinging to him.

From 3am to 9am, a long six hours, MC labored hard till she pushed both twins out. Their son had his dad's dark hair while their daughter had MC's hair. Both had Belphie's purple eyes though. Their daughter had their dad’s horns while their son had their dad’s tail.

MC held their son close to her chest as Belphie held his daughter. He stared down at the little girl, who lightly squirmed in his arms and let out soft cries.

"Belphie..."

He looked over to his girlfriend, just to notice that he himself had been crying as he watched his daughter. The demon looked away, blushing. After a moment, he spoke.

"I know we really didn't talk about this beforehand... but I want to name her Lilith."

His girlfriend gave him a smile.

"Of course."

The two discussed it for a few minutes and decided to name their son Judas.

Bad End:

Things fell apart early in MC's eighth month. The woman suddenly just collapsed where she stood, seconds after whispering Belphie's name and trying to reach out to him. The man caught her before she hit the floor. She had suddenly fallen into one of her comas. But why? He thought his girlfriend was okay, but apparently she had been bottling some feelings up. She would have had to have been or otherwise their children wouldn't be doing this to her.

It was three days later that Belphie woke up in the night to feel that the bed was wet. Very wet. MC's water broke! She was still in her coma though so how did this work?? Even with the contractions, could she birth the twins if he she wasn't awake to push?? Belphie quickly woke up Beel who in turn rushed to Lucifer. The oldest called a doctor, who had Belphie stay outside of the room.

The youngest brother paced back and forth in the hallway, cussing, and overall more awake then he has been all of his demon life.

In the end... MC didn't make it. But the twins did. The twins survived even when his girlfriend didn't and that fact destroyed him.

For the first two years of their life, Belphie had absolutely nothing to do with his kids; Beel raised them for him. It wasn't because of what you might think. Belphie didn't resent his kids or blame them for their mother's death like he thought he would. Belphie was drowning in self-hatred because it was his fault. He believed this with every fiber of his being. He couldn't even look at his children, especially Lilith, who he saw both MC and his sister within her whenever their eyes met.

Eventually, he got his shit together, at least somewhat. He always needed help though so Lilith and Judas were raise by both their father and their Uncle Beel. Belphie was pretty laid back as a father so between him and Beel, the kids had the freedom to do just about anything. However, they grew to be a bit bratty. Good hearted, but bratty. Any time anyone other than he or Beel tried to discipline them or said anything awful to his kids, Belphie was ready to murder a bitch and slowly at that; it was a lot easier to set this man off now as a parent. Luckily, Beel was always able to drag him away and calm him down.

Those around them were always put on edge by the Avatar of Sloth's presence because of this; even the other brothers weren't sure how to interact with him somedays. Still, his kids were safe and between himself and Beel, they never went without anything. They grew up loved and protected... just like MC wanted.

He sometimes got into these depressive moods when he thought of her and couldn't leave his bed. At first, Beel would try to occupy the kids elsewhere so he could have his space and the twins didn't have to see their daddy like that. One day though, when they were five, they snuck away and into the attic room that he hid in. Wordless, the two just climbed into bed with him and he held them close to his chest.

As much as he missed MC... he loved his kids and moments like that reminded him just how important they are to him. There was once a time where he told himself that if he had to choose between MC and their kids, he wouldn't hesitate to choose her; he simply couldn't imagine how he could care about anyone as strongly as he does her. Now that they're here though, he doesn't have to imagine it; it's his reality and though he missed MC with every fiber of his being, he wouldn't trade his children for anything in the three realms.

Part 1 | Part 2

#obey me #obey me otome #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me mc #obey me pregnant mc #obey me next gen

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pitterpatterpot · 3 years

Note

We already had high, clingy Gavriel/Aedion interaction, will we also get clingy/needy (maybe drunk or high) Aedion with Gavriel interaction?

You get it right now!

~~~

“My head hurts,” Aedion states glumly, his expression turning even more downtrodden as his boot lands in a filthy puddle.

“I’m sure it does,” Kyllian grunts, Aedion’s arm slung over his shoulders.

“It’s because I fell.”

“You don’t say,” Kyllian huffs, shifting his weight.

“Kyllian?”

“Yes, Aedion?”

“I feel strange.”

The commander reigns in his frustration, the palace walls looming around them and flickering with the shadows of the night. The bar had been suspiciously empty when they arrived, and no one had questioned it when Aedion accepted and lit a pipe. The only surprise was that, instead of the usual slightly soothing drugs most pipes obtain, the one he had been given was filled with a stronger substance. One that’s left him leaning heavily against Kyllian’s side.

“That would be the herbs you smoked,” Kyllian sighs. “Did you seriously think it was just a normal smoke?”

“You said it was!” Aedion snaps. “Walking is hard.”

Kyllian sighs, nodding to a guard as they pass through the gate. “For all we know your father will spot us and-“

Aedion gasps. Kyllian grunts and jolts to a stop with him.

“Gavriel!” Aedion cries, stricken. “Kyllian, he’s my father!”

“...I know?”

“And I haven’t seen him today!” Aedion frets. “What if he’s dead?”

“That is a very large jump,” Kyllian winces, tightening his grip on Aedion. “Why don’t I get you some good food and water and we try our best to avoid the male that will rip me apart if he sees what I did to you.”

“...I want Gavriel.”

“What did I just say?” Kyllian scowls, tugging Aedion towards a kitchen. “You have to- Aedion, no!”

The demi-fae tears free of his grip and sprints down the hallway, following a familiar scent. Kyllian watches him with wide eyes, then slumps and sighs. He turns and makes his way to his own room, mentally calculating the benefits of sleeping in the armoury instead.

~~~

“Gavriel!” Aedion knocks repetitively on the door of the most common room the cadre members meet in for their late night talks. “Gavri-“

The door flings open, Gavriel looking to Aedion in concern. The Lion quickly takes stock of his son, Rowan, Fenrys and Vaughan all watching with trepidation from where they sit in the armchairs.

“What happened?” Gavriel frets. “Are you alright?”

“Gavriel!” Aedion wraps his arms around his father. “You’re alive!”

“What?” Gavriel stiffens for a moment. “Of course I’m alive. Aedion, what are...” realisation sparks in Gavriel’s eyes, and they soften along with his voice as he wraps his arms around his son. “Did you have a nightmare?”

“This entire night is a nightmare,” Aedion mutters before yawning, going lax in his father’s arms.

“Come in, sit,” Gavriel directs Aedion to the couch he was previously occupying. “Where’s Kyllian?”

Aedion shrugs, scratching at the fabric of the chair.

“You look exhausted,” Fenrys states in concern. “How long have you been back?”

“Around two,” Aedion thinks back.

“Hours,” Rowan nods.

Minutes, but Aedion is in no state to correct him. Instead he looks pleadingly up at his father.

“Can you hold me?” Aedion asks, bluntly. “Please?”

Gavriel jerks, taken back. Even the others seem surprised by this blatant request. Vaughan stands and gives the others a gentle look.

“We’ll leave you two,” he nods, Fenrys and Rowan following suit. “Feel better, Aedion.”

“Do you want to talk about your dream?” Gavriel asks, arm wrapped around Aedion with his son’s head resting on his shoulder. “And you’re still wearing your clothes. You should at least get comfortable before trying to rest.”

“I know,” Aedion mutters.

“And you...” Gavriel trails off, taking in Aedion’s eyes. “And your pupils are large.”

“Probably because I love you. They get bigger when you love something.”

Gavriel stiffens. “Aedion, where is Kyllian?”

“Don’t know.”

“When did you last see him?”

“After he gave me a funny pipe. It was sweet.”

“Right,” Gavriel stands, grabbing a blanket from a near basket and dropping it securely around his son. “You wait here.”

Huffing, Aedion squirms out from under the blanket and stands to follow his father. Gavriel frowns.

“I need you to stay here, Aedion,” Gavriel pushes him to sit again.

As soon as he turns to go to the door his son follows him once again. Gavriel winces and leads Aedion back to the couch.

“Cub, just-“

“I can take you to Kyllian!” Aedion stands, delighted.

“I think I’ll be fine,” Gavriel frets, shifting in uncertainty. “If you could just stay- that’s it, I’ll be back-“

And as soon as he reaches the reaches the door Aedion is once again by his side. Gavriel sighs, bowing his head in defeat. Aedion bounces slightly on the balls of his feet, humming quietly.

“Alright,” Gavriel concedes. “I may as well take you to Lysandra along the way.”

“Oh!” Aedion’s eyes brighten. “I love her!”

“I’m aware you do,” Gavriel huffs a laugh.

“I love you, too.”

“Thank you,” Gavriel leads Aedion down the hallway, firmly holding his son’s hand in his own. “Do you love anyone else?”

“Aelin, she’s basically my sister,” Aedion muses. “Evangeline, definitely... Rowan is becoming like a brother... I don’t love Fenrys and Vaughan and Lorcan yet... Kyllian is my best friend, so yes...”

“What about Dorian and Chaol?” Gavriel prompts, a smile in place.

Aedion stares back incredulously. Gavriel chuckles.

“Where’s Lysandra?” Aedion suddenly asks. “Is that my room? Lysandra!”

Gavriel immediately hushes his son, his loud cry booming through the palace. The bedroom door immediately swings open with the shifter popping her head out to search for the disturbing sound. She placates as she spots them, hair and clothes disheveled from bed. Aedion jumps free from his father’s grasp and flings his arms around her.

“Lysandra!” He announces. “I love you!”

“I feel the same, darling?” Lysandra replies, blinking rapidly. “Aedion, it’s three in the morning.”

“No it’s not. It’s four.”

“It seems he and Kyllian found some interesting substances,” Gavriel informs her. “I’m going to hunt him down now.”

“You’re too harsh on him,” Lysandra chastises, running a hand through Aedion’s hair to his delight. “The human equivalent of cat nip was just legalised, it’s fully possible Aedion just grabbed the wrong pipe.”

“We need to break him of that habit,” Gavriel grumbles.

“Just taking other people’s pipes or smoking at all? You are aware he doesn’t use harmful substances?”

“The borrowing pipes parts,” Gavriel confirms. “It’s unsanitary. Either way, I’ll go find Kyllian to ensure he’s safe. Good luck.”

Lysandra snorts as he turns and walks away, Aedion leaning his face into the palm of her hand.

“Alright, you oaf. Bed time.”

“Is Kyllian going to die?”

“Possibly. Now shush.”

#tog #aedion #lysandra #Gavriel #Kyllian #ask

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luvspence · 3 years

Text

darling, you’re the one i want

spencer reid x reader

{im not quite sure this is how a song fic works but this is basically stolen from paper rings by taylor swift, i’m using the lyrics as like prompt one liner things?????? idk bare with me}

- 1,3,4 are mainly fluff but 2 is a lot of fighting and bickering

——-

i want to drive away with you

“do you ever feel”

you took a pause in the middle of your thought, spencer spun around in his chair to face you

“indeed, i do feel”

“shut up i’m thinking” you said as you laughed and slapped him on the arm

“do you ever feel like, trapped? like boxed in almost”

he chewed on the end of his pen

“i guess? elaborate”

“well, i love my life. i have no regrets. but sometimes i feel like just running into the streets and screaming and keep running and never stopping? just fleeing in a sense”

“yeah, i get that. sort of an intrusive liberating type thought”

“exactly” you said tapping your finger to yourself head, a few seconds of silence passed before you spoke again

“i want to drive away with you”

spencer looked at you in confusion

“you’re all i need, seriously. i love everything in our lives right now i do, but i could go without all of it, besides you”

he rolled his chair up next to your and caught your hand in his

“i’d get up right now, keys in the ignition, and i’d drive into nowhere with you y/n. you’re it for me”

——

i want your complications too

you chased spencer up the stair way

“spencer!”

he turned around

“listen to me would you? every time i open my mouth it seems that you turn off your ears”

“i’m all ears y/l/n” he said, giving you more attitude than necessary, but you were having a hard time getting through to him

“that was unbelievably stupid! you could’ve gotten yourself killed! spencer this isn’t the first time, let alone the second, let alone the 7th time you’ve put yourself in harms way! this is so dumb spencer you understand this shit but you still are reckless! and don’t give me that crap about calculated risks”

you were fuming at him

“so what i’m alive, so is our victim what more do you want?”

“why are you turning this on me? i don’t want shit from you spencer! it’s not what i want! it’s your life! my god i shouldn’t have to justify to my colleague, god to my friend why i care about them being alive!”

“well i am alive. so i don’t know why you’re so bothered y/n it’s like your my mother or something” he said as he continued walking up the stair case

“no, you don’t get to do that. you don’t get to put your life on the line and then treat me like i’m the irrational one. painting me as the villain when i only just care about you”

“why do you care so much?”

“because i’m your friend?! because i love you?!”

he ignored you and resumed walking up the stairs

“you know what spencer? it’s because i love you. it’s because i love you so much that it affects my sleep. so much that i always make you coffee when you come in. so much that no matter what i’m doing, where i’m doing or who i’m doing it with, you’re always on my mind. the problem is spencer, not that i love you, that i’m IN love with you. and even at that you can’t seem to let me in. so i don’t know what the fuck to do anymore”

a tear fell down your cheek as you slammed the door and left

spencer standing dead in his tracks on the stair case. honestly wanting to vomit

you spent the rest of your day scream crying. so many emotions that you couldn’t quite process anything

you were laying on your couch, radio head on your phone, dried tears on your cheeks when your heard the doorbell ring

you go and open it

spencer

“hi”

“hi?”

you stood in your doorway, looking at each other with swollen eyes

silence, 2 seemingly frozen bodies

until spencer opened his mouth

“look, i’m sorry.”

“yeah me too”

you were sick of him, sick of how he couldn’t communicate, of how blind he could be. but something about his face was so so good. you were about to shut the door in frustration before spencer started to speak again

“and with what you said, about the love thing...”

he took a big gulp

“i do too. i love you too. i mean i’m in love with you too”

what. the. fuck.

between the shock and the upset you were feeling, there was little part of your heart that warmed when he said those words. you opened your mouth to speak but spencer cut you off

“and i just wanted to say that because i uh i owe you the truth always. regardless. but anyway, i don’t think we should pursue that though”

you stood in your doorway in shock

you didn’t know if you wanted to fight him, cry, or vomit

probably all of the above

you were blank, nothing came to your mouth. you tried to speak, tried to scream , but the only thing that came out was

“what?”

“i’m no good for you, you deserve someone who can be perfect for you. you deserve that truly. and i can’t be that. so i’m sorry but that’s just how it is. i just want you to be happy. you don’t deserve a guy that you have to yell at in stairways, that makes you cry until your eyes swell shut, a guy that cant reconcile his emotions for crap or can’t communicate or anything that i am. so im sorry, but i think this is what’s best for you.” he stuck his hands in his pants

“so bye i guess”

you were paralyzed, a surplus of information hitting you all at once. you couldn’t quite process it but you knew you couldn’t just let him walk away

“you’re idiotic” you shouted as he was about to get on the elevator

“i’m what now?”

“idiotic. no ones buying the ‘i’m not a nice guy’ crap”

“it’s not crap, it’s true. i’m no good for you”

“oh please spencer you’re acting like this is your villian orgin story. first off, who do you think you even are? i’m an adult i don’t need a white man who doesn’t know how to brush his hair to tell me whats ‘good for me’”

“i’m just looking out for you”

“okay, thanks, but i’m a big girl spencer i know how to take care of myself. and even so i don’t even think thats what this is about. you know what i think? i think that you’re too scared to admit that you don’t feel the same way. which is fine by the way, but if you’re to scared to face the reality of whatever your feeling and youre covering it by turning it on me? by saying that ‘i’m too good for you’ thats fucked up and thats that spencer.”

you caught your breath and continued

“because spencer i know you’re pulling all this shit about not being good for me but is that even true? spencer reid we’re perfect for eachother. in every way. and if you’re blind to that than whatever, but i don’t want you to lie to try and tiptoe around my feelings”

“ever since you walked into the bau y/n ive loved you. every word you’ve ever said to me get played on repeat in my head. i love you i would want nearly nothing but to be with you y/n. i love you that much. that’s why i’m trying to our myself above what i want and above whatever so that you can be the happiest you can be. it’s just that i don’t want to hurt you. you don’t deserve that. i never want you to hurt ever. and i can only prevent that by taking myself out of the picture”

“spencer, when i said i love you. it means all of you. i want every side to spencer reid. i want your complications too. it’s all worth it spencer because you’re the one for me”

you two stood there for a couple minutes. it was the longest and shortest time of your life. spencer eventually took a deep sigh and stepped in a step closer to you, looking down at your face

red from the crying, left eye swollen shut, giving him a weak smile

“you’re the one for me”

——

i want your dreary mondays

“thursday”

“no?! the worst day of the week is monday obviously”

“monday is underrated in my opinion”

you were conversing with spencer while walking through the park after dinner

“monday is the worst, it’s so hard after the two perfect days of rest to return the mundane process of life”

“sure”

“so thursday? story behind that?”

“hey have you seen spence?” you asked around the office, only getting head shakes

it was the monday after a long weekend, and spencer has had a less than ideal day

just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, spilt hot coffee on his pants, forgot his satchel at hole

you searched around for him, when you realized

when spencer was overwhelmed or stressed or sad or anything like that, he retreated to the basement file room

no one ever went down there, and there was a closet with a couch in it that was good for taking mid day breaks

you ran down the stairs, opening the door to the closet and sure enough spencer was there

“hey”

“hi”

he wiped his hand across his face, presumably for a tear

“what’s up spence?”

you said scooting next to him on the closet couch

“having a monday”

“i’m sorry to hear that, what’s going on”

“well besides the coffee incident and satchel problem...” he began to rant about how his day was going less than ideal. when he stopped abruptly

“hey, you don’t need to listen to this”

“i dont have to, but i want to”

“are you sure? i’d hate to bore you with my bad day”

“come on spence, i want your dreary mondays something you gotta recognize, is that you’re such an incredible person, that your bad days are better than most people’s best.”

“yeah, perspective right. my worst days are someone’s best”

“yeah, but don’t ever feel invalidated abt your bad days, you always deserve to feel upset, and i’ll always be here to listen to it”

“god i love you”

—-

wrap your arms around me baby boy

spencer wasn’t a touchy person

germaphobe habits

but something about you, he was magnetic to you

no matter what it was, on the jet, in the office, while in line at the grocery store, anywhere and everywhere he always had you in a hug

coming up behind you while you were cooking, wrapping his arms around the back of your neck while you were working

he adored you, and you adored him

after a case, the team decided to hit the local bar, nearing the end of the night, they started to play slower stuff

slower jazzier beats, the dj came on and said

“okay you couples! get up there”

a few couples hand gone up, you were tugging on spencer’s arm to accompany you up there

“well if you don’t go you know morgan will”

derek raised an eyebrow at him, and before you knew it he was dragging you on stage.

poor spencer didn’t know how to dance correctly, he was standing so far from you. hands in each other’s hands like middle schoolers

“jeez spence, wrap your arms around me”

you grabbed his hands, positioning them on your waist, you wrapped your arms around his neck, and leaned into his chest

swaying back and forth, as the sinatra echoed the other the bar and the click of garcias camera could be heard

and in that moment, nothing felt better or more right, than dancing in spencer reids arms

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fluffy #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer x y/n #mgg #mgg fic #mgg x fem!reader #fem reader #sr #criminal minds fluffy #criminal minds fic #matthew gray gubler #mgg fluff

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libsterslobsters · 4 years

Text

Whole Lotta Love

Synopsis: For some people, Valentine’s Day is another word for "stress", especially when you don't know what the other person is expecting. Several years into their relationship, Bucky’s pretty sure he has a good understanding of the Reader, until a word from Sam makes him question everything he thinks he knows. The race is on to make their first Valentine’s Day since saying their vows a special one, but as per usual, fate has it's own ideas about what will make the holiday truly memorable

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem! Enhanced! Super-soldier Reader

(Reader can see bits and pieces of the future in visions as well as speak every language)

Warnings: Smut, Fluff

Author's note: This fic contains references to earlier stories. For more information, click the series masterlist link. As always, the reader is unnamed so that this can be read as a self-insert, but at this point, I think of her as an OC.

The song referenced is Hearts Don't Break Around Here by Ed Sheeran

Series Masterlist

A The Song Remains The Same Fic

---------‐-----------------------------------

“So, Valentine’s Day.”

Bucky doesn’t look up from his laptop (or more specifically, the field report he’s typing) at Sam’s words. Despite his concentration, he can tell that his partner is staring at him, boring holes into his back with his gaze.

“Uh-huh.” He’s listening, but so far, he doesn’t care.

“What are you doing for it?” For Valentine’s day? Um…

“Not much.” It’s a Tuesday this year, right? Then probably working, like most other people, he’d imagine.

The room is silent as he types, so Bucky assumes that settles the matter. That is, until Sam mutters a quiet, “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

“About what?” How many paragraphs does he have to type before he can pass this off as a full report? When he joined the Avengers, he thought the hardest part of his job would be the bad guy of the week, not doing paperwork!

“You’re really not doing anything for Valentine’s Day? Seriously?” He nods absentmindedly and clicks the save icon. He’ll finish this tomorrow. It’s five o’clock. Time to head home. Home to-

“What’s your wife gonna think about that?” He shrugs and cuts the power to the laptop.

“She thinks that the whole holiday is a rip-off. See you Monday?” He turns around for confirmation, only to catch Sam staring at him, mouth hanging wide open. “What?”

“A rip-off?” Is he just going to be stuck repeating himself?

“Yep.” Told him that the first February 14th they spent together.

“And you actually believed her?”

He nods. “She’s not one to lie.”

Sam nods incredulously. “Uh-huh. And are you planning to ever have sex again?”

He’s not going to dignify that with an answer (because really, isn’t it obvious?).

“Fine.” Sam shrugs. “You do you, man. All I’m saying is, if I had a wife who looked like that-” he indicates the lock screen of Bucky’s phone (a picture of her laughing, telling him to put away the damn camera after wrestling the dog for the tie to her favorite robe). “-I’d have my V-day plans set up a month in advance.”

Normally Bucky would take what Sam says with a grain of salt, but he is after all a man out of time, so maybe it’s worth considering that his partner may be right.

“What would you suggest I do?”

“Outside of the bedroom?” He narrows his eyes at the Falcon. “Okay, bad joke.” Sam scratches at the back of his head, thinking. “I don’t know, man. That’s your girl. You know her best, but flowers are always a good place to start.” Good to know that hasn’t changed since the 1940s. Although, last time he brought her flowers, she spent the afternoon sneezing until he eventually convinced her that it was okay, he wouldn’t be offended, she should throw the damn things out. Then again, that was before she was a super soldier.

“Flowers.” He repeats, earning a nod from Sam.

“You can get creative. Do a little research. But I’m just saying, when a woman waits five years for you to reappear, the least she deserves is a few flowers.” On that, they can agree.

He must bid Sam some sort of goodbye and make his way through the Avengers compound, but he’s unaware of anything until he’s in the parking lot, sitting behind the wheel of his car, googling “What to do for your wife on Valentine’s Day.” There’s a web page that boasts twenty different selections. Might as well give it a look.

___________________________________________________________________________________

She’s nearly home when her phone dings with a text from Barnes. “Just got in. Forgot to get milk. Can you swing by on your way, or should I go to the gas station and pick up a gallon?” A frown forms on her face. It’s pretty rare that Bucky forgets things. Must’ve been a hell of a day at work, then. Either that, or his brain has completely turned to mush thanks to typing out field reports. Either way-

“I got it. See you in twenty.” She thinks about tacking on a “love you”, but the light turns green before she can.

The grocery store is packed thanks to so many people getting off work. There’s only three carts left, all with bad wheels. She chooses the least squeaky option and, grabbing an add on her way, heads into the grocery store. Milk, and if she remembers right from this morning, they’re running dangerously low on coffee and tea. Despite caffeine having absolutely no effect on their enhanced bodies, both of them are nightmares to be around in the mornings without their beverages of choice. Force of habit and all.

She’s halfway to the checkout when she sees it. A sign, decorated in garish shades of red, pink, and purple. “All Valentine’s Day chocolates 10% off.” Shit. Yeah, that is coming up. To tell the truth, she’d completely forgot all about that day halfway through February. For most of her life, it only meant giving homemade cards at school when most kids had store-bought. Then, once she reached adulthood, it was a reminder that she was destined to be alone. Who would want someone who’s on the run, and what’s more, sees the future? Once she and Barnes got together, it didn’t change much. That first Valentine’s Day, he mentioned the holiday, and she shut it down immediately. They were both broke (or at least, he had no legitimate way of making money while she was broke), and celebrating a mostly commercial holiday seemed like a waste. Plus, she didn’t want to put a strain on a new relationship. Over the years, the subject never came up again, and she’s content for it to stay a non-starter, thank you very much. In her opinion, you should show your partner you love them every day of the year, not shoe-horn it into one twenty-four hour period. Call her unromantic if you must.

She’s completely immune to the various displays of cheap chocolate in heart-shaped boxes and overly sentimental cards as she approaches the register and starts to unload her items. Milk. Tea. That one specific brand of coffee that he likes because, “It tastes like what we drank in basic training. Terrible, but I kinda got used to it, so now everything else tastes like it’s trying too hard.” whatever that means. He’s right; she’s tasted it, and it’s fucking awful. Still, every morning, he drinks at least three cups while she drains her pot of tea.

“You got a hot date for Valentine’s Day, hun?” The cashier asks her, never breaking her rhythm as she rings up the items.

She chuckles. “As a matter of fact, yes.” The cashier’s eye go wide, and she holds up her left hand. “And every other day.”

“Ooh, nice. How long have you been together?”

“Nine years.” Wait… “Or four years, depending on which of us you ask. He blipped, I stayed.”

The cashier nods. “So are you older than him now?”

Physically? They’re not completely sure, but if you calculate the times he was off the ice with HYDRA and add that to the age he was before the serum, then they’re not far off. But chronologically- “No, he’s still older.” And yes, it will always be funny that Sam responds with “Okay, boomer” whenever Bucky makes an outdated reference (even if he’s off by a good twenty years).

With a little more light chatter, she pays for her items and leaves. Now, for home.

As soon as she opens the front door, she’s greeted by their dog, Sarge, barking excitedly and hopping around like he’s on a trampoline despite missing a leg. Bucky’s not far behind, placing a quick peck on her forehead before taking the bags from her and unloading them in the kitchen. Tonight’s his night to cook, but unless her nose has suddenly decided to give out, he hasn’t started dinner yet. She doesn’t mind taking over tonight, and when he sheepishly apologizes while she begins her preparations, she brushes it off. Although, for the second time in an hour, she’s seen proof of his unusual absentmindedness. Oh well. She’ll ask him about it later.

Despite being relieved from tonight’s chef duties, Bucky stays in the kitchen, sitting at the breakfast bar scrolling through his phone as she cooks. His expression is neutral, which can mean one of two things; a) he’s just killing time and there aren’t any interesting posts or articles vying for his attention, or at the opposite end of the spectrum, b) he’s deep in thought, possibly angry, sad, or even frightened, but he’s gone into Winter Soldier mode and shut down so that she won’t pick up on his mood. Damn the man and his poker face.

Eventually dinner is served and she sends him off toward the fridge in search of two beers while she serves their plates. Just as she’s spooning a generous helping of salad into her bowl, it happens. A vision, but a limited one. All she’s seeing is a phone. Well, that and the hand holding it. She’s not sure whether to be proud or embarrassed that she immediately recognizes the hand as Bucky’s, but that goes by the wayside as she takes in the article he’s reading. “Should you do something for Valentine’s Day even is she says no?” It’s a thread on some anonymous discussion board. The reply that has his attention is in reference to a now divorced individual who “was dumb enough to believe that, on our first V-Day as a married couple, she didn’t want anything.” Oh boy. Not good. This will be their first Valentine’s Day since exchanging vows, and if the fact that he’s read this reply (if not already read, will read soon) means that it’s at least crossed his radar that she might be feeding him bullshit. That’s not the case, but after his research, she knows from experience that no matter how much she tries to convince him otherwise, a small part of his mind will be stuck on, “But what if this is a big deal?” Which means-

“Doll, are you just gonna stand there with the salad tongs in your hand?” That snaps her out of it.

“No. Just a vision.” He frowns as she passes him his plate.

“Anything important happen?” Should she say?

“No.” She’s not sure if the smile or not, so she takes a bite from her roll to cover it. “Random sneak peek.” It’s not a lie. What she saw really isn’t important. Still, if he’s in that mindset, she should probably go on and do something for him just in case. After all, why should it only be the ladies who reap this holiday’s benefits?

___________________________________________________________________________________

Not flowers. That’s the one thing that, after copious amounts of research Bucky is one hundred percent certain about. They may still be a common romantic gift, but since they were also a go-to back when he was courting girls in the 1940s, it’s safe to say they’ve been overdone. Plus, he doesn’t really want to remind her of that time she had such a severe allergic reaction to the flowers he picked her on a walk through the park in Bucharest that her eyes nearly swelled shut and she sneezed herself sick. That doesn’t exactly seem like prime romance.

Chocolates or other candies have the same issues as flowers. Contrived and predictable. A bottle of wine is nice, but neither of them can so much as get mildly tipsy thanks to the super serum. The fourteenth is his day to cook, so he guesses he could do some reading and try to create something a little more special than spaghetti (he thought about going to a nice restaurant for dinner, but there’s a few issues with that, not the least of which is they’re likely to be recognized without their disguises, and he’d rather not look at his wife through sunglasses on Valentine’s day), but that seems a little underwhelming.

As he loads the dishwasher (she fell asleep half-way through the third episode of whichever nonsensical comedy they’re watching this week, so he sneaked back downstairs to clean up the dinner dishes), he thinks back to the dozen separate articles he read on the subject of Valentine’s Day gifts. Jewelry was a common theme, but that’s out. She’ll say thank you to his face, but worry about the cost behind his back. Plus, he has absolutely no idea what she’d like, and there’s no sense in purchasing something only for her to hate it.

Another common one was lingerie. Bucky almost choked on his tongue when he saw some of the examples given with that option. None of it looked comfortable (in fact, he’s still scratching his head about how you even put on one of the pieces that popped up on the web page) and he doesn’t want to give her the impression that she has to dress up for him. Even putting all that aside, he has no idea what size she’d even wear. He likes to think that he knows his wife pretty well, but somehow, in all their years together, it never occurred to him to ask her for her clothing sizes. That, and have you even seen the bra sizing system? Does it make sense to anyone, because to Bucky, it’s all gibberish. 32 B? 36 DD? What the hell? Somehow, when HYDRA was training him to extract information, they failed to go over the translation of a woman’s bra size. He supposes he could ask, but he’s not sure there’s a non-suspicious way to work, “Hey, sweetheart. What size are your breasts?” into casual conversation.

Sam said to get creative, so he tried to think outside the box. What’s something she really needs? A new vacuum cleaner is the first thing to come to mind, but he’s not stupid enough to think that would make a good gift. He knows she’s had her eye on a set of throwing stars, but that doesn’t seem to correlate well with what this holiday is all about. That’ll keep until her birthday.

He’s still wracking his brain for anything at all that might work when he feels a wet nose poking at his hand. Sarge. “Hey, boy. Has your mom gone to bed?” The response is a quiet “woof” and lick to his palm. He scratches the mutt behind the ears, smiling to himself as Sarge’s back leg thumps at the treatment.

“What do you think we should get our girl? Huh?” There’s no reply (of course not, he’s talking to a dog), but he nods, pretending all the same that Sarge has offered up a suggestion. “A bone. Yeah, somehow I don’t think that’s her thing. Try again.” The dog blinks at him lazily. “No, you’re the one who wants new tennis balls. Not Mom. Although you’re right about her liking peanut butter.” At this rate, he might as well get her a bone and some tennis balls, because he’s sure not coming up with any ideas.

She likes music. The thought pops into his head while he’s brushing his teeth. All sorts of music. Over the years, he’s tried to make sense of the songs he’s heard her listen to, but has yet to find a discernible pattern in her listening habits. She doesn’t seem to stick to just one genre or era. More like she picks songs by how they relate to what she’s feeling at the moment. Wait a second-

“A mixtape.” His reflection mouths the words back at him. Despite technology having moved on from the days of burning CDs, she still has a thick stack of the disks stored in a cabinet and plays them on the regular. He’s even seen a few that she made herself, pasting together the songs she likes to make a “Cleaning mix”, “Workout Mix” and “Pissed off Mix”. Bucky’s sure he could figure out how to burn a CD, but it’s not like she’d be able to listen to that everywhere she went. That leaves a playlist. She uses one of those apps to listen to music on her phone, right? Surely he can put something together for her using that.

Quietly, he climbs into bed next to his sleeping wife and pulls her back against his chest, slinging one arm over her waist as usual. He closes his eyes, but his mind is alight with activity. A playlist. Of course. He’ll put some extra effort into whatever he cooks that night, stop by a bakery and pick up some sweet treats for dessert. Hell, maybe they’ll both dress up and act like they’re on a date. Then, once they’re sitting down to their meal, he’ll pull out his phone and hit play. It’s perfect. At least, he hopes it is.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Putting on a lacy bra and panties set underneath her regular work attire seemed like a brilliant idea this morning. Today’s a short day; she’s only got three classes to teach, and Rhodey called last night to tell Bucky that he’s suspending work hours at three pm “Since most people have holiday preparations to make.” Her plan was to be waiting on the sofa in the living room when he arrives home, professional button-down blouse open just enough for him to get a good look at what’s underneath, pencil skirt pushed up enough to reveal the stockings and garters she’s donned for the occasion. It’s fun, with just enough cheesiness to match this whole holiday. And, well, it’s a guarantee that by the end of the night they’ll be in bed together, both rumpled, sweaty, and satisfied. Perfect, right?

Wrong. On her drive to work, her skimpy underwear began to ride up, giving her a wedgie, and there was no way to adjust without running the risk of wrecking. She was so distracted by her discomfort that she missed her exit, and by the time she arrived at the college, she was running so behind that she didn’t get the chance to run to the bathroom and readjust. Her lecture on sentence diagrams was pure torture before the underwire from her bra decided to join in the fun and poke her directly in the ribs, but with that addition, she was especially impatient with her students’ tendency to joke around a little too much in class.

Luckily, she had just enough time to wrap the exposed metal bit in tissues before her next class, which eliminated the pain in her chest, but did nothing to alleviate the discomfort once her stockings began to slide down, having at some point disconnected themselves from the garters. She taught like that for the next two classes, but as soon as they were over, she pealed the whole ensemble off in the teacher’s restroom and changed into her gym clothes. Alright, screw the whole seduction routine. She needs to blow off some steam and fast, or else she’ll be in a bad mood all night.

That’s why, thirty minutes later, she finds herself in the training room of the Avengers compound, working over a punching bag. “Fuck-” Her fist connects, making the bag swing crazily from it’s hook. “-this- whole- day!” It goes sailing, and she feels a little better.

“Ouch!” The voice comes from behind her and she whirls around, gaze resting on-

“Sam.” The man in question holds up his hands in an “I surrender” gesture.

“Don’t shoot! I come in peace.” Rolling her eyes, she holds up her middle finger, receiving a snicker in acknowledgment.

“Just working off a little frustration before I head home.”

“Good.” Sam chuckles. “’cause otherwise, I’d be worried that when Barnes pulls out his dick tonight, you’ll bite it off.” She thinks about telling him that there’s no chance of that, but she might just cut off his if he crosses her. However, that jogs her memory.

“Has he left yet?” Sam nods.

“About an hour ago. Said he had to pick up groceries.” Shit. There goes her plan to shower, throw the damn lingerie back on and proceed as planned.

Bidding Sam a hasty reply, she makes tracks towards her car and, once inside, heads for home. Fine. New plan. She’ll shower once she arrives and then when the evening is drawing to a close, wait for him in bed. Nodding to herself, she puts the car in park and climbs out. Now, to psych herself up enough in the next few hours to put the damn lingerie back on.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Where did he go wrong? It takes all of Bucky’s self control not to spit out the spoonful of sauce he just tasted. This was supposed to be an easy recipe for Chicken Alfredo (or at least, that’s what the website boasted; he should’ve known better than to get his information from the internet and stuck to a good old-fashioned cookbook from the library). Not… whatever the hell this is. Maybe even if the sauce is nauseating, the chicken is okay?

He pulls open the oven door, and immediately smoke billows out, making his eyes water. Okay, chicken’s a little well-done. Who is he kidding? Black. The chicken is burned black. And the pasta… he lifts the pot lid and stirs, only to come to the realization that the pasta is completely stuck to the bottom of the pot. Wonderful.

It’s inevitable; over the years, he’s had his fair share of cooking disasters, but usually he does okay. Tonight though… who the hell up there did he piss off, because the only explanation for how badly this is going is his karma coming due.

Still holding the offending spoon, he looks over at Sarge, who’s staring at him, long pink tongue sticking out as he pants. “Trust me, boy. You don’t want any of this.” There has to be something else he can pull together on short notice. Normally he’d be worried that she’s running late without so much as a text, but today he’s relieved. At least if she’s running behind he’ll have time to… what? Maybe order takeout? Before she gets-

“I’m home.” Shit.

Sarge yips, shaking with excitement, and starts towards the kitchen door, then turns back, uncertain. “Go on. I know you’re dying to jump on her and lick her face.” Something they really should be training out of him because he’s getting too big for that sort of behaviour but, well… there’s a reason they call them “puppy dog eyes.”

Not needing to be coaxed, the dog takes off, tripping a little in the momentary lapse in his memory that he’s a tripod, but easily catches himself and goes on his merry way, leaving Bucky to clean up his mess. From the sound of things, a game of fetch is going on in the living room, so she should be distracted for a while.

He manages to pour the sauce down the drain and scrape most of the pasta into the trash while Sarge is acting as a decoy, but there’s absolutely no way he can dispose of the chicken without tipping her off (damn enhanced senses, it’s a wonder she hasn’t already smelled it). Finally, he decides to just go for it. She’s going to notice whether he throws it out now or two hours from now. Might as well get a head start on cleaning.

Sure enough, not ten seconds after he empties out the oven, he catches a movement in his peripheral vision, and the familiar sound of her breathing tips him off that he’s no longer alone.

“Hey, Doll.”

“Hey, Bucky. Did something burn in here, or-” He holds up the pan for her inspection before continuing his scraping.

“That’s one way to put it, yeah.” He slams the lid back on the trashcan and turns on the tap, intent on rinsing out the pan. “Another is whoever the god of culinary arts is has it in for me today.”

She chuckles. “You know, that would be funnier if we didn’t actually know a god.”

“Yeah, but he’s in control of thunder.” He meets her eyes, smirking slightly. “Although it did look like I electrocuted the bird.” Her lips quirk up into a smile, and he takes the opportunity to kiss her, cupping the back of her head gently to hold her in place when she tries to move away, muttering something about being sweaty.

He’s not entirely sure how it happened, but by the time they come up for air, her back his pressed against the wall and he’s got her pinned in place. Not that he’s complaining.

“Anyone ever tell you that the tip of your nose turns pink after you’ve been kissed?’ Her cheeks go rosey in response.

“I think so. One guy did. I told him it’s only when I’m kissed properly.”

He really would like to continue the playful banter, but there’s still the small matter of whatever it is they’re going to eat.

“What do you feel like for dinner tonight?”

“Apart from electrocuted chicken?” He responds with a swat to her ass, which earns him a snicker. “Let’s keep it simple. Pizza. Your choice of toppings.” Right, that’s easy enough. Plus, if they have to wait longer than thirty minutes, it’s free.

“Okay. I’ll order while you shower?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

He’s just pulled up the menu on his phone when the sound of her clearing her throat attracts his attention. She’s standing in the doorway, combing through her freshly let down hair with her fingers, a playful look in her eyes.

“Or you could join me. Just a mild suggestion.”

Dinner can wait for a while.

___________________________________________________________________________________

The Brooklyn townhouse they live in has many nice features. There’s a functional if small screened in back porch, big enough to hold a table for two and a grill. Two bedrooms, on the off chance someone from work needs to crash for a night or two. A kitchen with a dishwasher. A working fireplace. Good closet space. And an en suite bathroom.

Maybe it’s a little ridiculous to call a bathroom luxurious, especially when, in comparison to what’s featured in many brownstones, it’s more than modest, but she can’t help but think of it as such. There’s a double sink so that in the morning rush to get ready, Bucky’s able to shave and brush his teeth without having to wait for her to finish applying her makeup. Shelving above the toilet makes certain that even if the last person to shower took the towel with them, another one is on hand. Speaking of the shower, it’s not the largest one in the world, but both of them can fit in comfortably at the same time, which is what’s lead to their current situation.

She’s just finished allowing the water to course over her body, easing the sweat from her skin, and is about to begin the process of washing her hair, scrubbing her body, but she hesitates. She might as well ask. It’s only practical after all.

“Do you want to start now or get cleaned up and have dinner beforehand?” It’s obvious what she’s referring to, so she doesn’t bother to spell it out.

His brown knits, and if she didn’t know him as… intimately… as she does, she’d actually believe he’s confused.

“Oh, so you’re just assuming there’s gonna be sex involved at some point tonight?”

She shrugs, wringing out her hair.

“Seemed like a safe enough bet.” She glances pointedly between the two of them. “After all, we’re already undressed. “

His laugh is a quiet huff, barely discernible over the sound of the water. “Then I’d say start now, have dinner, then go for round two. Sound about right to you?”

She nods. “Solid plan.”

“Then get over here.”

Unlike the welcome home kiss they shared not half an hour ago, this one is less tender, more electric. Hands twist in hair, bodies press together. Tongues begging for entrance quickly give way to teeth nipping at bottom lips, an unspoken sparring match for who’ll be in control this time around. Ultimately he wins, grasping her hips and lifting as she wraps her legs securely around his back.

There’s no need for prep; the teasing of their earlier words is foreplay enough. Back pressed against the wall, her body easily welcomes him in as she braces one arm against the glass shower doors for balance. Any concerns about slipping and falling wash away as they move together like so many times before. She’s sure her nails will leave marks on his back, fingertips digging in for purchase and it’s a guarantee her hips will be littered with fingerprints from his grip, but she can’t find it in her to care, and if the desperate, bruising kiss assaulting her lips is anything to judge from, neither can he.

“So damn good, Doll.” It’s panted against her neck. “Always. So damn perfect for me.” All she can manage is a moan in response.

She feels him twitch inside of her and knows he’s close. So is she, but she can’t quite get there without-

As if he’s read her mind, he reaches between them to touch her where she needs it most, and on instinct, she readjusts, locking her arm around his neck to stay in place. “Let go, sweetheart. Can you do that for me?” She couldn’t disobey if she wanted to.

“Fuck.” As her walls contract around him, he pulls out just in time to paint her middle with his release.

“That’s one word for it.” She’s still fighting to catch her breath, but she shoots him a shaky smirk, which he returns.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Mrs. Barnes.” Snickering, she releases him to stand on unsteady legs and pecks his legs.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Mr. Barnes.” Maybe there’s something to this holiday after all.

___________________________________________________________________________________

“You want the last slice?” Bucky considers it for a moment before deciding-

“Nah. You can have it.” It may not be exactly what he planned, but it’s been a good night. Between the two of them, they’ve gone through two large pizzas while watching the new version of Beauty and the Beast (she rolled her eyes when he asked if this was her way of saying he reminds her of a certain hairy, horned character) in their pajamas.

“No, really. You take it. I don’t want it.” She nudges the mostly-empty pizza box towards him. The noise makes Sarge lift his head from where he was snoozing beside her on the sofa. That gives him an idea.

“I don’t want it either, but I can think of someone who does.” He cocks his head towards the now-drooling dog. “How ‘bout it, boy? Wanna help us out?”

Snickering, she picks the pepperonis and pieces of sausage and ham from the pizza, forming a pile. “Here, Sarge. Catch.” She tosses a coveted treat in the air, and Sarge’s jaw snaps, swallowing it whole. “Good boy.”

They sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes before she speaks again.

“You know, I actually did have something planned for you.”

“Oh, yeah?” She nods.

“Absolutely. Had a whole seduction plan laid out. Tiny underwear, lacy bra, and stockings with garters included.” Huh. Guess she wouldn’t have taken the “lingerie” option the wrong way. He’ll file that away for future use… along with a mental note to ask her bra size. “That is, until I tried wearing the damn things for longer than an hour. Turns out, hiding a dirty secret under your clothes is more itchy than sexy.”

He can’t help it. He laughs, producing a pout from her which quickly turns into her own quiet laughter.

“Well, that fits in perfectly with my fancy dinner going up in smoke.”

“We really do have shitty luck with the whole “romance” thing.” She’s joking, but he decides to respond anyway.

“I don’t know about that.” Entwining his fingers with hers, he lifts their hands, twin wedding bands catching the light. “You waited five years for me to reappear after the blip, and I convinced you to elope with me. Seems pretty romantic.” Although, that reminds him…

“Don’t move.” Releasing her hand, he stands and goes in search of his phone.

“Bucky, what-”

“Don’t move, Doll. Stay right where you are.” Ah. On the kitchen counter, just where he left it. Jogging back into the room, he resumes his place on the couch next to her. Ignoring her questioning gaze, he pulls up the app and, selecting the correct playlist, hits play.

Immediate recognition blooms on her face at the opening lyrics. “She is the sweetest thing that I know. Should see the way she holds me when the lights go low.” He’s not one for modern music, but when he was googling “songs for Valentine’s Day” and this one popped up, he couldn’t help but think that the lyrics were fitting.

“I didn’t know you’d heard this one.”

He chuckles. “Even old men have a few tricks up their sleeves. That, and a wifi connection.” She rolls her eyes but leans closer, which he takes advantage of to show her the playlist.

“This is the app you use, right?” Receiving a nod, he continues. “Feel free to scroll through and add whatever you want. I haven’t listened to all of them the whole way through, but they seemed to fit the mood.”

Her hand closes over his, covering the phone. “Thank you, Bucky. It’s perfect.”

As the singer goes on about how hearts don’t break around here, he presses his lips against hers.

“I love you, Doll.”

“Love you.”

Not bad for a disastrous Valentine’s Day. Not bad at all.

#marvel #the avengers #bucky fanfic #bucky x original female character #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #captain america #the winter soldier #bucky barnes smut #smut #fluff

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shiredded · 3 years

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Random wildfire evacuation tips from california

Fire far away, or it's just fire season

Pack your Emergency kit Important documents, water, etc. Google what you should put in yours. There's a lot of resources.

Plan where to go It's gonna SUCK if you're scrambling to figure out who can take you in when there's only a few hours to pack. A friend is ideal but hotels will work too. If they're decent places they will only have a minimal fee for fire victims. Make sure your destination is pet friendly if you have those. Some hotels will make exceptions, call them.

Microchip your pets You should do this anyway but you could lose your pet while 50 miles away from home and this will help it find you again. They'll be scared and confused in a new neighborhood.

Find a reliable source of information Check to see if your county website or fire/police department has a place for updates. You want accurate information from the source, not from a neighbor or a stranger.

Eat all the icecream Depending on the evacuation, You will want to empty your fridge and freezer, so the weeks leading up to this are perfect for clearing out those tater tots

Keep your gas tanks full You never know when you'll have to drive several miles to find an open gas station.

Fire preparedness on your property Another thing to look up in more detail, they will give you measurements on clearing brush/branches etc. Sometimes this is the difference between a kind of smoky house and literal ashes.

Safety gear This will get scarce the closer a fire comes. You need N95 masks/respirators. Your covid masks will not filter smoke. Only take as much as you need to evacuate, because other agencies (like livestock evacuators) need them more.

Evacuation Warning

This means you MIGHT get evacuation orders, but not yet Make sure you know what the terms mean for your local district. This period can last hours or weeks, depending on the fire.

ONLY trust official information sources If a stranger runs up to your house and tells you that it's a mandatory evacuation and they're here to help, don't trust them. Watch them every second if you let them help and don't turn your back. They may rob you as soon as you hand them your valuable keepsakes.

Double check your destination Call your friend/hotel/etc to make sure they still have room for you.

Start packing Grab your dirty laundry basket: its all clothes you like/have worn recently and you can wash it later. You really only need a few hours to pack and evacuation warnings can last weeks, so it's more identifying what you should pack and starting on the more time consuming bits now.

Only pack what can't be replaced heirlooms, hobby items, artwork, photographs, etc. You can buy a new TV I promise. If you have fire insurance they will help pay for that.

Find your pets and livestock Bring your pets into the house and know where their supplies/carriers are. There may be organizations in your area that specialize in evacuating your livestock, so look those up.

Lock up for looters A horrific problem, but that's the reality. You won't be around to watch your property so looters will go around trying doors so they can steal from people in crisis. This is the main reason that law enforcement will/should be in the area. Plan to take expensive equipment inside, like table saws, motor/bikes, generators etc, and lock them up. Whatever is outside is easy pickings. If you leave any vehicles, lock them, even in the woods where everyone is kind and safe. The looters are not your neighbors, they will drive in from out of town to rob and vandalize evacuated places.

Check on your neighbors Especially elderly neighbors who may not be tuned in to what's happening or not taking it seriously. Fundamentalist religious people tend to be difficult. Make a note if you think someone is going to sit on their porch with a rifle instead of leaving.

Request help Get help if you need it from neighbors or community resources. If you don't have a car, don't worry. Someone somewhere has one and they truly do want to help you. Get everyone's names and contact information so you can keep track of each other. Social media is generally where this stuff tends to happen, so dust that off and see what you can do.

Mandatory Evacuation

All that planning pays off You will likely have a few hours to pack, but depending on the fire you can have just minutes or seconds before they pull you from your house. Evacuation orders usually have a "get out by" time on them.

Children and pets Find these and get them ready to go first. Do not let them wander off because you don't want to be scrambling for them later. Cats in carriers, dogs in a room or pen. Other animals in appropriate travel gear. Keep them indoors until everyone is ready for the car, because smoke can hurt/kill them (birds are especially sensitive)

Most important stuff first This is your emergency kit. Medication is extremely important. Harddrives, photos, documents, computers, etc, all goes in first. Next is clothes and toiletries. They'll make your evacuation less chaotic. Then valuables like jewelry, cameras, stuff that would be hard to replace. At this point your car should be pretty full.

Empty the fridge If you are evacuated for weeks and the power goes out, you do not want to know what happens in there. Throw it all in a garbage bag and put it outside. It's better to discard food now than discard your whole fridge later (they cannot be saved, trust me)

Check on your neighbors again If someone refuses to leave, let law enforcement know so they can handle it. They will either convince the person or make a note of their location for firefighters to worry about if the fire gets too close.

Lock every door and window you can Bring valuable outside stuff indoors and lock it down. This will deter looters looking for an easy target. Lock your cars, sheds, barns, etc.

Do not go back Law enforcement will be controlling the road during an evacuation. They might let you go back for forgotten things, or they might stop you completely. If you left a pet, they will notify the pet rescue teams (generally trained and certified volunteers) Basically assume you can't go back until the order is over.

Evacuated

Uncertainty Hunker down and prepare for a fight. Being evacuated can last between a day and several months (if your town got half burned, etc) Know ahead of time that you won't know much.

Official sources of information may be wrong The fire map sometimes reads smoke and might tell you your house is toast when it's not. Eyewitness reports are more trustworthy at this point. But know that you might not know anything for certain for a long, long time.

Seek out resources There will be food, supplies, and housing opened up for evacuees, depending on your community. Look up your area and take advantage of what applies to you.

Looters will follow you People will stalk fire victims and break into their cars and take everything they own. This can happen a hundred miles away from the fire, so keep your car in your sights if you can. Hotel parking lots are especially dangerous, so ask if security can patrol that area extra vigilantly. Sadly, robbers will also drive through tiny rural neighborhoods looking for an unusual amount of cars and will rob those. Take your MOST valuable things into the house/hotel room etc to keep them safe.

Your mental health Everything is going to suffer during an evacuation, so make sure you're doing selfcare to keep yourself ready for new challenges. Take time to cry and scream and kick rocks. Connect with other fire victims and you can emotionally support each other.

Going home Most evacuations are precautions, and everything will be fine when you get back. It's going to be a pain to unpack all that stuff again, but it would have been worth it if you lost your home.

Do it all again next year The climate crisis is bringing drought, plant-drying heat, and dry lightning storms to places we all thought were safe. Fires are hard to control, but your evacuation isn't. You'll be alright, and eventually rain will come. It gets easier every year and it really helps you identify what you value in life.

Help others If you're in no dangers, search up where to volunteer to help fire victims. Maybe you'll train as an evacuation response team and go into fire zones to rescue animals! Maybe you'll help out at a soup kitchen. Maybe you'll open your home to strangers who need a place to stay. Be the human kindness you'll need for yourself one day.

TLDR: The more you plan, the better. Round up kids and pets first. Lock all your doors because looters will rob you, or follow your car and rob that. Connect with your community to give and receive help.

#fire #wildfire #evacuation #fire evacuation #evacuation tips #fire season #shire screams

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