#but she doesn't realise b/c she's not feeling any different!!!

[idolsummons]

👏 hana, being self-taught in the magical arts, being unaware that the body has limits with how much can be executed by the user before it starts taking an actual toll on them and pushing herself too far 👏

[euryvices]

As someone who has never even touched ATLA (anime), and has only ever seen the movie, let me give you a list of reasons why i absolutely adored it :

aang is literally a kid in this one, like he's a child hero and golden boy, and god, doesn't your chest hurt a little from seeing all that youth pain and pain? don't you feel raw?

katara is a total badass. i know some of the anime fans don't like how she's different, but i look up to her so much and she's younger than me canonically. i would die for her. i esp like the fact that she saw jet, liked him, but the second she realised he was kind of a cult-leader she went fuck that shit im out

ZUKO IS A SMALL BABY I WANT TO PET HIM HE'S A SMALL CHILD HE IS MY SMALL CHILD HAVE YOU EVER FELT SO TERRIBLY ABOUT SOMETHING THAT YOU WISH TO EXIST IN A TIME WHERE YOU COULD HELP IT HEAL

sokka being a playboy/summer-fling/taylor swift's james from the love triangle coded kinda guy makes so much sense. in the movie he was obsessed with one (1) girl and that never made sense to me. like okay bby pop off monogamous king??? but i definitely feel that sokka is not the kind of person (esp in this time of his life) to be a one-woman guy. also i want to see him get in trouble for it sorry idk

iroh is zuko's dad and none of y'all can convince me otherwise.

i am so obsessed with jet he's literally babygirl. sebastian ATE TF UP!!!!!!

the complexities of monk gyatso being a friend and sort of a parental figure. how aang brought out his childish side, and how life is so terribly aching and huge with grief. how it's palpable in every room. and how love is an intimate boyfriend to time's cruelty and god why can't we let there be tenderness? this isn't fair.

FLUFFY!!!!! BIG!!!!! DOG!!!!! I LOVE APPA!!!!!! HES SO CUTE!!!!!!

ozai is more despicable that any father ive read about or even my own. i wish him all the most terrible forms of daily death.

absolute brilliant fucking chad actors (sorry for using the f-word and c-word) they're absolute g's. i love every single one of them and their ability to act and their personalities and also THEY HAVE A BIG WATER BISON THAT LOOKS ADORABLE HOW ARE YOU NOT HAPPY (SORRY FOR USING THE B-WORD)??????

Rant being over, I respect y'alls opinions fr. I get that seeing somethings change or become different in a new iteration of your favorite work is tough. But let's remember the amount of effort and time it takes for these actors, sets and even storyboard artists to work on these things!!!! Life is so terribly short, why must you fill your time with dissatisfaction? Find the things you love about the new show!! Find the positives!!!

also azula is so luke castellan coded

[i-am-the-oyster]

Hi there, I also have a quick question about this post (Paul's guilt about hurting John, possibly evidenced in song notes during the making of RAM, and its source—that he left John, despite having promised not to).

Are you saying Paul felt guilty towards John, and knew why, during the making of RAM? And, if so, how would you square this with Paul's notorious 'grief rant' phonecall with Hunter Davies shortly after John's death, where Paul appears not only upset by the idea that he hurt John, but also unaware of what he could have done to cause this hurt?

"But what had really got Paul upset that day was an interview with Yoko in which Yoko was quoted as saying that Paul had hurt John more than any other person. Paul thought they were amongst the cruelest words he ever read." (Hunter Davies grief rant fun)

Was Paul bullshitting Hunter? (Go, Paul)

Was Paul being defensive and angry b/c Yoko blamed him for hurting John in public?

Was Paul not surprised to hear he'd hurt John (after all, they hurt each other often), but struck by the 'more than any other person' part?

I don't mean to say you're right or wrong. I'm just curious to hear you elaborate on this. Meaning, your take on Paul's guilt, and how accessible it was to him consciously. I've long been thinking about him hearing this claim, 'you hurt him more than anyone else', and how different that would have landed, depending on how aware/guilty he felt.

(Whether Paul was right to feel guilty or not is a completely different matter, and doesn't play a role on my question.)

Thank you for the wonderful meaty (sorry Paul!) ask!

I think Paul *did* feel guilty at the time, but I wouldn't exactly say Paul was bullshitting Hunter. The thing that always jumps out at me from that transcript is where Paul says:

There's only one incident I can think of that John has mentioned publicly.

(emphasis mine)

Isn't that an interesting distinction in the context? It makes me think that there were deeply private things that they each did to the other but Paul feels certain that those things would never end up the subject of public discussion.

I don't buy the image of Paul as lacking self-awareness or self-reflection. BUT he is extremely good at re-framing things in a positive way "so many times I had to change the pain to laughter" AND he is a very contrary person. He seems to often instinctively push against whatever narrative the person opposite him is proposing, especially where the topic needs some nuance. (eg the one time he approaches the topic of Jim's violence is in response to Stern pushing Paul's own "idyllic childhood" bit).

So back to the version of their story that had in mind when I made my original post. (Which I'm not married to, but seems like a plausible scenario worth exploring). Paul and John are in a codependent relationship, John has clearly expressed his terror that Paul might leave (as he did with Cyn). John's behaviour has become erratic and (at least borderline) abusive. Paul knows that if he lets go John will "take a tumble", but he's exhausted and Linda is teaching him to take his own desires and needs into account in a much healthier way. (Not to suggest Paul was never selfish in the 60s lol, but he wasn't practicing actual self-care).

John is spiraling, and pushing Paul away in that heartbreaking pattern I call "see I knew you were going to leave". (I'm sure there must be a name for it in psychology). Linda doesn't yet realise the depth of feeling she's dealing with. Paul knows how terrified John is, he's promised he won't be like the others, he won't leave. But he can't do it any more. John finally convinces him that he actually wants him to leave, he bawls his eyes out in front of Mal, and he disappears to Scotland.

I think he would be absolutely wracked with guilt.

And then I think as part of his recovery from that depression he would reassure himself that he did need to leave, that it was the right choice, that he and John could continue to care about one another deeply and move on.

I think Yoko's statement was unnecessarily cruel hurt him, and triggered that contrary response. What's she even talking about? What did I do? The worst ever?!

Thanks again!

[marble-running]

AND another thing.

Since Syren established that Kim cares about people's feelings now, even if he's still not the best with social cues and thinking before he speaks/acts ("I think she was trying to tell me that I'm the boy she likes. But I was a doofus and didn't realise."), so wouldn't it make more sense for him to be akumatisd because he's feeling guilty about what he did?

He can see Marinette's upset, and he can piece together from her reaction and the added context he has that the reason she's reacting like this is because of the trick he pulled on her (as shown in the episode). Since he's friendly with Marinette now (shown in Dark Cupid, somewhat ironically), he feels guilty that he's hurt his friend like this.

Then there are a few potential routes:

A) He goes to Marinette to apologise, but she tells him to piss off (maybe because she's in the throes of a panic attack, maybe because she's justifiably angry at him), which makes him feel worse and opens him up to akumatisation. The akuma here would probably be different, since what he wants here is for Marinette to feel better and forgive him. Moral: you can't make someone forgive you, and you can't just make the pain you caused someone disappear.

B) He shifts the blame onto Chloe, since it was her idea, and he wasn't trying to hurt Marinette, he thought she'd find it funny (personally I'd have it as him just trying to make himself feel better, but you can have him genuinely believe it if you want). Again, the akuma would be different, since here he doesn't want to be blamed for the trick/how it affected Marinette. Moral: it being someone else's idea doesn't absolve you of responsibility. [Disclaimer: not sure this is very in character for Kim, as I don't recall him acting this way at any point in the show.]

C, if you want to stick with Dark Humour) He's in denial about how he hurt Marinette. He says it was supposed to be funny, she's overreacting and needs to learn to take a joke, but without any real conviction. When Monarch akumatises him, he says that he agrees with Kim, people need to learn to take a joke (because emotional manipulation is his whole schtick). Kim is relieved to have someone tell him he hasn't done anything wrong (no-one wants to be responsible for hurting their friend like that), and becomes Dark Humour. (The key difference is Monarch manipulating him into thinking he's in the right, not him thinking that way from the beginning.) Here Kim's underlying guilt plays into his defeat, causing him to resist Monarch somewhat, enough for the heroes to get the upper hand. Moral: you can't just run away from your actions. The best thing you can do is own up, fix the damage if you can, and try to be better.

Bonus: it actually shows Kim as a bully character who changed his ways and feels remorse for how he used to be, contrasting him with what Astruc has decided to with Chloe. (As opposed to them throwing in one line about him promising to change at the end.)

[dontbotherwiththepronunciation]

I really wish we could talk about Jeyne bullying Arya without people going completely feral, because as someone who was bullied (tragicomically involving the nickname "horseface" and even neighing when I walked by), and who can't even watch high school comedies like mean girls without wanting to die, I feel like it's so reductive to deny any possibility of conflict between the Arya-Jeyne-Sansa dynamic that is more than "mean girls vs pretty-but-doesn't-know-it-yet-girl situation" or "violent paranoid schizophrenic with a persecution complex feels victimised by girls who actually do their schoolwork" while still acknowledging Jeyne as a bully and Arya as a victim.

Jeyne is such a weird character to me, because I never feel this attached to the archetype she embodies.

And still, her dynamic with the two Stark sisters is interesting and the confusion in fandom is COMPLETELY fascinating and borderline triggering to witness, because it reminds me a lot to how a class of high schoolers reacts to *gasps, looks around to see no one is listening and whispers* bullying *lightning and thunder strike on the background to signify the gravity of such a word*.

Person A: What? What are you talking about?! She is exaggerating everything! Sansa never called her that! It was only Jeyne and I bet she only did it once! Person B: Oh, no it was just Jeyne who did it. Sansa told her to stop, but she just kept at it because she is less educated. Person C: No, Jeyne was actually just doing it to impress Sansa. Sansa is the real villain here. DontbotherwiththepronunciationIn2013: I don't think "bullying" is the right term. It's not that bad, Arya should get over it. It was just hurtful teasing.

Now I realise that "hurtful teasing" is in fact bullying.

So, if going by canon:

I think Jeyne came up with the name "Horseface".

I think Jeyne used to neigh at Arya when she was passing.

I think Sansa probably used that name at some point in her life or maybe multiple times.

I think that silence bestows. I think inaction can be encouraging more action. I think passiveness can be as harming as aggressiveness.

I do NOT however think that neither Jeyne nor Sansa are inherently despicable evil people for bullying Arya. I think they are still children. I think, like in most situations involving bullying and children, it's the adults who are at fault for not putting a stop to it, and sometimes even encouraging it.

Before starting to rant, I want to say:

I don't consider myself an expert on any of these characters!!!!!

So if I'm saying something disproportionately wrong in the following, I am open to being corrected.

With that said, I think this is a network of issues, most of them involving socioeconomic classes and period-compliant misogyny. I think it might look like this:

I know that focussing on this is a little pointless because the three main actors involved in this have been violently removed from the situation, (and most of the remaining cast is dead) but at the same time their possible future reunion will be even more violent and they probably won't even have time to cope.

And I can't sleep and I feel horrible and I already drew that dumb mind-map on my phone.

So, I'm starting with the least tangled component in this thing.

Ⅰ. The passive perpetrator, Blind Beth Cassel

To her sister and sister's friends and all the rest, she had just been Arya Horseface. - The Blind Girl, ADWD

I have loved the "Blind Beth" concept since I first read it.

It's so interesting to me how the most Beth interested part of fandom is the Theon corner, yet in the entire Arya-Sansa narrative she barely appears and rarely in meta. The closest I've come to find analysis on Beth & Sansa was in this gorgeous collage highlighting them as victims of violence from different sources in ACOK, but asides from that, there isn't much there. And at least with Sansa I can understand it. Sansa doesn't think of Beth once in the entire books. Arya on the other hand names one of her many identities after Beth and I think the characteristic chosen to describe that persona was a very smart and painful reminder from GRRM.

Arya thinks of Beth Cassel in two occasions. Once in AGOT, when we first meet them,

She studied her own work again, looking for some way to salvage it, then sighed and put down the needle. She looked glumly at her sister. Sansa was chatting away happily as she worked. Beth Cassel, Ser Rodrik's little girl, was sitting by her feet, listening to every word she said, and Jeyne Poole was leaning over to whisper something in her ear. "What are you talking about?" Arya asked suddenly. Jeyne gave her a startled look, then giggled. Sansa looked abashed. Beth blushed. No one answered. "Tell me," Arya said. "Joffrey likes your sister," Jeyne whispered, proud as if she had something to do with it. She was the daughter of Winterfell's steward and Sansa's dearest friend. "He told her she was very beautiful." "He's going to marry her," little Beth said dreamily, hugging herself. "Then Sansa will be queen of all the realm." Sansa had the grace to blush. She blushed prettily. She did everything prettily, Arya thought with dull resentment. "Beth, you shouldn't make up stories," Sansa corrected the younger girl, gently stroking her hair to take the harshness out of her words. - Arya I, AGOT

AND once in Braavos, when she is thinking of her life a Winterfell,

"Beth." She had known a Beth once, back at Winterfell when she was Arya Stark. Maybe that was why she'd picked the name. Or maybe it was just because it went so well with blind. - The Blind Girl, ADWD

Our first assumption as readers to the name "Beth" going so well with "blind" is because it is an alliteration. Who doesn't love alliterations? Tell me you don't love Sir Gawain and the Green Knight with all it's stylistic devices! They are lovely. And perhaps "Blind Beth" is only one of GRRM's alliterations acknowledged by a character.

Or perhaps "Blind" and "Beth" also go so well with each other, because apparently, and basing this from Arya's POV (the only one involving Sansa, Jeyne & Beth all together), Beth is a passive perpetrator. The typical class mate who pretends not to see the bullying and the way it affects the victim. The one who is decent or even kind when alone, but alienating when they are accompanied by a group.

I have seen certain takes claiming that Arya's POV in AGOT isn't a reliable source when involving the dynamic between her and the other girls in Winterfell.

That is possible, but she is our only source. As said, Sansa doesn't ever think of Beth, so if I want to examine her it has to be through Arya's eyes.

I would like to take the scene in AGOT once again and look at it more closely this time.

She studied her own work again, looking for some way to salvage it, then sighed and put down the needle. She looked glumly at her sister. Sansa was chatting away happily as she worked. Beth Cassel, Ser Rodrik's little girl, was sitting by her feet, listening to every word she said, and Jeyne Poole was leaning over to whisper something in her ear.

The object composition is so carefully placed that I find it difficult to believe it is not supposed to have a meaning. Jeyne whispers into Sansa's ear, an image I often associate with a political advisor plotting or scheming with the ruler they serve (which she will remind me of again in future AGOT chapters). Beth has a lower position in the hierarchy She is sitting at Sansa's feet, completely enthralled to whatever it is Sansa says. She probably seeks her approval.

(There is this very sweet art depicting the image of Sansa, Beth and Jeyne and even if I kind of feel guilty for reading the scene as them alienating another girl and still enjoying the art, I still want to share it because it's very cute.)

"What are you talking about?" Arya asked suddenly. Jeyne gave her a startled look, then giggled. Sansa looked abashed. Beth blushed. No one answered.

Jeyne's reaction is alienating. She giggles and denies Arya the knowledge behind that sudden laughter. It always reminded me a little of how Theon's smiles are often described contemptuously, probably because people tend to think he is actually laughing/smiling at them. They think he is mocking them. I don't think this is something completely involuntarily. I think Jeyne knows that giggling when Arya is asking to be integrated to the group is painful to her. Sansa is described to look "abashed" which I take as uncomfortable. I thinks she is aware this is mean spirited. She still doesn't do anything, but she is at least "abashed". Beth seems to follow this reaction but her description is only physical, not necessarily tied to an explicit emotion. Still, they collectively refuse to include Arya into the conversation.

"Tell me," Arya said. "Joffrey likes your sister," Jeyne whispered, proud as if she had something to do with it. She was the daughter of Winterfell's steward and Sansa's dearest friend. "He told her she was very beautiful." "He's going to marry her," little Beth said dreamily, hugging herself. "Then Sansa will be queen of all the realm."

Arya has to insist to be accepted as part of the group. It is not Sansa who acts as the typical "Queen Bee" and grants her that privilege, but Jeyne. Jeyne is the one who speaks in a slightly haughty manner. Only after getting Jeyne's implicit permission does Beth make a comment. She is not described with any type of rancour by Arya.

Sansa had the grace to blush. She blushed prettily. She did everything prettily, Arya thought with dull resentment. "Beth, you shouldn't make up stories," Sansa corrected the younger girl, gently stroking her hair to take the harshness out of her words.

This is an interesting passage to me, but not because of Beth as a passive perpetrator, but because this is the first time I can think of where we are confronted with another monster that will play a role in here, the green-eyed beast;

Ⅱ. Envy

Not it's more mild mannered cousin jealousy that gets spoken of more in fandom, but envy!

Jealousy is usually seen as a less malevolent feeling, but the term is often used when actually referring to envy, so I will clarify that jealousy could be defined as a feeling of defensiveness and protectiveness over what you think to be yours and feel threatened or fearful of possibly losing it.

Envy is not protective or defensive, its offensive. It is a feeling of resentment over what another person or group has - be it a a material possession, a skill, or an emotional bond - and you feel you lack.

And oh boy, there is a lot of envy oozing from that medieval class room, some it more legitimate than other, but all felt.

Before continuing I want to clarify that Arya’s very real pain and low self-esteem, and the cruel ways in which Sansa sometimes treats her during AGOT shouldn't be dismissed as "deserved" or "exaggerated" because of her envy.

Ⅱ. Ⅰ. ARYA'S ENVY

Probably the easiest to locate.

In the formerly mentioned passage we see Arya being envious of Sansa. I would argue it's not up to interpretation since "with dull resentment" makes it very clear to me, but there is also tenderness. I don't think Arya hates Sansa, or at least not in that moment.

Something curious about envy is that it's not an entertaining sin. It's damaging not only to those you envy, but perhaps mostly to yourself. It is self-poisoning. And I think that during that scene Arya, isn't manifesting her envy. She very rarely verbalises it, instead she swallows her own anger and keeps it inside her. I couldn't find any passages where envy is the driving force on the few occasions Arya hurts Sansa. The closest I came to that is:

Arya wanted to scream. It was just like Sansa to go and attract the septa's attention. "Here," she said, surrendering up her work. - Arya I, AGOT

But even then, her envy only hurts herself.

Arya longs to be like Sansa. She wants to be considered as pretty as Sansa, she wants to be as skilled as her sister and to feel accepted by the other girls in the group.

It wasn't fair. Sansa had everything. Sansa was two years older; maybe by the time Arya had been born, there had been nothing left. Often it felt that way. Sansa could sew and dance and sing. She wrote poetry. She knew how to dress. She played the high harp and the bells. Worse, she was beautiful. Sansa had gotten their mother's fine high cheekbones and the thick auburn hair of the Tullys. Arya took after their lord father. Her hair was a lusterless brown, and her face was long and solemn. Jeyne used to call her Arya Horseface, and neigh whenever she came near. It hurt that the one thing Arya could do better than her sister was ride a horse. Well, that and manage a household. Sansa had never had much of a head for figures. If she did marry Prince Joff, Arya hoped for his sake that he had a good steward. - Arya I, AGOT

I find it curious how Arya starts off listing skills, yet the thing that pains her the most is related to her appearance.

What starts as painful envy becomes a self deprecating chuckle and later maybe even a half-optimistic outlook on her own strength. Arya recognises that she is not worthless or fully inferior to her sister. She is able to find qualities in herself and they way she does is endearing. She internally even makes fun of Sansa for not being as good as she is in this one little thing.

Sadly she is still aware of how in the eyes of most, Sansa is the one deemed worthy of admiration and emulation, while the best Arya can get is pity.

The septa examined the fabric. "Arya, Arya, Arya," she said. "This will not do. This will not do at all." Everyone was looking at her. It was too much. Sansa was too well bred to smile at her sister's disgrace, but Jeyne was smirking on her behalf. Even Princess Myrcella looked sorry for her. Arya felt tears filling her eyes. She pushed herself out of her chair and bolted for the door. - Arya I, AGOT

And Arya's envy doesn't come from simply being Arya, it comes from Arya not being seen as a valuable person by Westerosi society and, in my opinion, most importantly, by her mother.

I refer to the parent-child relationships on the whiteboard as "perceived", not because I deem them false or delusional, but because I've seen a lot of debate going around this topic and whether the favouritism is true or not and I don't know what to believe and honestly I don't care too much about it.

At this part of the conflict we don't really need to know if the Ned-Arya and Cat-Sansa favouritism is true or not. We just need to know that both girls feel some insecurity over their bond with their parents and feel envy.

Personally, I think both Stark parents love all their children deeply, it's just that love sometimes isn't perceived the way we want it to.

Both of her parents had conventional expectations for Arya, but it seems to me that Catelyn was the one who upheld these expectations while Ned acted more permissive. Eddard still intends for her to lead a life that is typical to that of a Lady,

"[...] And it is past time that Arya learned the ways of a southron court. In a few years she will be of an age to marry too." - Catelyn II, AGOT

But it's not Eddard who Arya is terrified of:

It was worse than Jon had thought. It wasn't Septa Mordane waiting in her room. It was Septa Mordane and her mother. - Arya I, AGOT

And it's not Eddard whom Arya often fears being rejected by or disappointing.

Her father tells Arya she remembers him of Lyanna, a woman who is not only remembered as beautiful but also as loved and desired, and also shared some of her interests, such as swordsmanship.

Her mother though..

"Sansa's work is as pretty as she is," Septa Mordane told their lady mother once. "She has such fine, delicate hands." When Lady Catelyn had asked about Arya, the septa had sniffed. "Arya has the hands of a blacksmith." - Arya I, AGOT

Sansa would shine in the south, Catelyn thought to herself, and the gods knew that Arya needed refinement. - Catelyn II, AGOT

“…my hair’s messy and my nails are dirty and my feet are all hard.” Robb wouldn’t care about that, probably, but her mother would. Lady Catelyn always wanted her to be like Sansa, to sing and dance and sew and mind her courtesies. Just thinking of it made Arya try to comb her hair with her fingers, but it was all tangles and mats, and all she did was tear some out.“ - Arya VII, ASOS

Her mother used to say she could be pretty if she would just wash and brush her hair and take more care with her dress, the way her sister did. - The Blind girl, ADWD

And a recurring pattern in those lines is a comparison to Sansa, the sister who is not constantly failing at fulfilling society's expectations on her. The sister who she wishes she could emulate while also staying true to the person she is. The sister who seems to act as a passive perpetrator of Jeyne's bullying and sometimes acts cruel herself.

Ⅱ. Ⅱ. SANSA'S ENVY AND EMBARASSEMENT

When I first read AGOT, I didn't like any of the Stark sisters. I actually think the only Stark I liked back then was Bran. I was about as old as they were, had my own issues with internalised misogyny and thought both of them were a little annoying. My views on both of them during AGOT have changed A LOT in the past ten years and while I like who they become as the books move n, much more than I like who they were at the beginning, I've become very fond of their AGOT selves. And I think they are children! Children make mistakes! Children are shallow and impulsive and hedonistic.

So, I don't think Arya is the only person here who has a few negatives feelings about her sister.

More than envy I think Sansa feels second-hand embarrassment by Arya's behaviour and wishes she wouldn't be associated with her, and this is something Arya is aware of.

She was barefoot and dirty, her hair tangled from the long run through the castle, clad in a jerkin ripped by cat claws and brown roughspun pants hacked off above her scabby knees. You don't wear skirts and silks when you're catching cats. Quickly she lowered her head and dropped to one knee. Maybe they wouldn't recognize her. If they did, she would never hear the end of it. Septa Mordane would be mortified, and Sansa would never speak to her again from the shame. - Arya III, AGOT

Arya looked down at her ragged clothes and bare feet, all cracked and callused. She saw the dirt under her nails, the scabs on her elbows, the scratches on her hands. Septa Mordane wouldn't even know me, I bet. Sansa might, but she'd pretend not to. - Arya V, ACOK

And we also see Sansa wanting to deny association between her and her sister multiple times during AGOT:

Why couldn't Arya be sweet and delicate and kind, like Princess Myrcella? She would have liked a sister like that. - Sansa I, AGOT

"Send Arya away, she started it, Father, I swear it. I'll be good, you'll see, just let me stay and I promise to be as fine and noble and courteous as the queen." - Sansa III, AGOT

"[...]I have only to remember how your sister set her wolf on my son." "I'm not like Arya," Sansa blurted. "She has the traitor's blood, not me. I'm good, ask Septa Mordane, she'll tell you, I only want to be Joffrey's loyal and loving wife." - Sansa IV, AGOT

Envy is something less present in Sansa's case, but I dare to think there is still a little of it lingering in her feelings. As if we had a cross involving affections and what is perceived by each Stark sister as a special relationship or favouritism between their fraternal foe and a respective parent.

One day she came back grinning her horsey grin, her hair all tangled and her clothes covered in mud, clutching a raggedy bunch of purple and green flowers for Father.  - Sansa II, AGOT

There is envy perhaps not of the relationship itself, but of the liberation that comes with it, but I don't even think this is actually Eddard's fault, I think this has more to do with the overall social conditioning of girlhood in Westeros and with another adult.

Ⅱ. Ⅲ. SEPTA MORDANE AND THE SOCIAL CONDITIONING

Septa Mordane sees Sansa as an exemplary student and she has reasons to do so. Sansa is a good and well mannered girls who fits into the model Septa Mordane is trying to shape the girls into. She performs her assigned gender roles with grace and is willingly doing so. Sansa enjoys being a Lady, it makes her feel worthy and it allows her to daydream and enjoy romantic hobbies like poetry or singing.

Arya doesn't. Partially because she rejects that model, partially because she id rejected by that model. I don't know what came first.

And yet, Sansa also sometimes seems to feel encaged by that model and by the Septa's teachings. And often, when Sansa does something that contradicts this model of conduct that she usually likes following, her thoughts go to Arya. She compares herself or gets compared to Arya, not necessarily in a pejorative manner, but almost seeing her sister as a little devil on her shoulder.

The kitchen yielded no lemon cakes, but they did find half of a cold strawberry pie, and that was almost as good. They ate it on the tower steps, giggling and gossiping and sharing secrets, and Sansa went to bed that night feeling almost as wicked as Arya. - Sansa III, AGOT

Sansa sighed. "They rode with Lord Beric, to behead Ser Gregor Clegane." She turned to Septa Mordane, who was eating porridge with a wooden spoon. "Septa, will Lord Beric spike Ser Gregor's head on his own gate or bring it back here for the king?" She and Jeyne Poole had been arguing over that last night. The septa was horror-struck. "A lady does not discuss such things over her porridge. Where are your courtesies, Sansa? I swear, of late you've been near as bad as your sister." - Sansa III, AGOT

"It was for love," Sansa said in a rush. "Father wouldn't even give me leave to say farewell." She was the good girl, the obedient girl, but she had felt as wicked as Arya that morning, sneaking away from Septa Mordane, defying her lord father. - Sansa IV, AGOT

And who is usually disapproving of Arya's ways and telling her she puts them to shame?

Septa Mordane called after her. "Arya, come back here! Don't you take another step! Your lady mother will hear of this. In front of our royal princess too! You'll shame us all!" - Arya I, AGOT

And knowing how much Sansa cares about the way she is perceived by others, I can imagine Sansa thinking in frustration that it's unfair she gets reprimanded for these type of things when Arya does them all the time without realising that Arya suffers constantly because if it. It's just that they are less common in Sansa, so people are more surprised and "hopeful" of rectifying them. Septa Mordane almost looks at Arya as a lost cause. When she nags at Sansa it's because she wants to avoid Sansa becoming another lost cause.

And it's not that Septa Mordane is an evil witch trying to make Arya's life impossible. As much as I dislike Eddard Stark, I agree with him. This woman is just doing the job he and Cat tasked her to do. It's that she is part of an institution where girls like Arya aren't as valued as girls like Sansa.

Personally, I think she is one of the people carrying the most responsibility over Arya's bullying. I wouldn't say she participates in it, but she enables it.

During AGOT Arya describes Septa Mordane in an unflattering way and it is one of the few occasions where I don't think I should fully trust her POV, because yes, this woman is antagonistic to Arya, but I don't think she hates her.

"Septa Mordane is beside herself with fear. She's in the sept praying for your safe return." - Arya III, AGOT

I think, in her own flawed way, she is trying to "help" Arya adapt into conventional views of gender and Arya is having none of that (good for her!).

"Just where do you think you are going, Arya?" the septa demanded. Arya glared at her. "I have to go shoe a horse," she said sweetly, taking a brief satisfaction in the shock on the septa's face. Then she whirled and made her exit, running down the steps as fast as her feet would take her. - Arya I, AGOT

"Pray, where do you think you are going, young lady?" Septa Mordane asked. "I'm not hungry." Arya found it an effort to remember her courtesies. "May I be excused, please?" she recited stiffly. "You may not," the septa said. "You have scarcely touched your food. You will sit down and clean your plate." "You clean it!" Before anyone could stop her, Arya bolted for the door as the men laughed and Septa Mordane called loudly after her, her voice rising higher and higher. - Arya II, AGOT

Arya spun around, with Needle in her hand. "You better not come in here!" she warned. She slashed at the air savagely. "The Hand will hear of this!" Septa Mordane raged. "I don't care," Arya screamed. "Go away." - Arya II, AGOT

Poor woman is so frustrated with her job she one day passes out drunk on the table.

And I think Sansa suffers under her too, not because she dislikes the customs and views on femininity - she often recalls on Septa Mordane's teachings in moments of emotional need (Lady's armour is courtesy, find the beauty in every man) - but I think that as readers we can see how those are harming for her too.

"I've never seen an aurochs," Sansa said, feeding a piece of bacon to Lady under the table. The direwolf took it from her hand, as delicate as a queen. Septa Mordane sniffed in disapproval. "A noble lady does not feed dogs at her table," she said, breaking off another piece of comb and letting the honey drip down onto her bread. - Sansa II, AGOT

Sansa cried as Septa Mordane marched them down the steps. They were going to take it all away; the tournaments and the court and her prince, everything, they were going to send her back to the bleak grey walls of Winterfell and lock her up forever. Her life was over before it had begun. "Stop that weeping, child," Septa Mordane said sternly. "I am certain your lord father knows what is best for you." - Sansa III, AGOT

That one last passage drives me wild when it comes to Jeyne Poole and you'll see why later.

So basically, Septa Mordane antagonises Arya for her failings as her student. The class (Beth, Sansa & Jeyne) emulates the teacher's disapproval and distaste, Sansa feels embarrassed by association and Jeyne Poole takes advantage of the situation and targets Arya.

And now I can finally get to the true object of my obsession here, beloved middle school mean girl:

Ⅲ. Jeyne Poole and her many mixed emotions

As said, I feel so weird about my love for this girl. People call Theon a "poor little meow meow" but when I first read these books I didn't see him as an anti-hero/minor-villain during ACOK, but more of my avenging hero. I had tears of rage when he was threatening to hang Beth but I was also weirdly cheering for him. Jeyne on the other hand, she is my poor little meow meow! She is my problematic fave! And she makes me cry like crazy and I hope she has the happiest ending in these goddamn books.

I probably feel more attached to her than I feel to Arya and Sansa. I don't understand this. Anyway, I have two possible assumptions for why Jeyne is always antagonising Arya. And yes, she IS ANTAGONISING Arya, even when Arya is no longer there.

"What are you talking about?" Arya asked suddenly. Jeyne gave her a startled look, then giggled. Sansa looked abashed. Beth blushed. No one answered. - Arya I, AGOT

Sansa was too well bred to smile at her sister's disgrace, but Jeyne was smirking on her behalf. - Arya I, AGOT

Jeyne used to call her Arya Horseface, and neigh whenever she came near. - Arya I, AGOT

Jeyne Poole had told Arya that he'd cut him up in so many pieces that they'd given him back to the butcher in a bag, and at first the poor man had thought it was a pig they'd slaughtered.  - Arya II, AGOT

It was all her fault, everything bad that had happened. Sansa said so, and Jeyne too. - Arya II, AGOT

"I saw your sister this afternoon," Jeyne blurted out, as if she'd been reading Sansa's thoughts. "She was walking through the stables on her hands. Why would she do a thing like that?" - Sansa III, AGOT

"I will be a better wife than the real Arya could have been, he'll see." - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

"Arya Underfoot. Your sister used to call you Arya Horseface." "It was me made up that name. Her face was long and horsey. Mine isn't. I was pretty." - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

You know, this entire thing started because I wanted to make a stupid joke but then I got more emotional and invested into this as I wrote, and now we are here and I don't even remember the actual joke I wanted to make so I have to improvise with the thing above.

I don't believe this is true either. There are absolutely no canon indications for Jeyne to have had been dealing with comphet and bullying Arya because of a crush (there is a rather fun fanfic though!) (and there is another but with angstier and subtler vibes and it's Theyne + Jeynsa). Although, in my opinion, there are a few other things; like class envy and projection!

Ⅲ. Ⅰ. JEYNE POOLE'S CLASS ENVY

I think hers is the most obvious case of envy, but unlike the envy between the Stark sisters it doesn't come from a place of emotional insecurity, but of socio-economical discomfort.

That is why I included "Beric Dondarrion" [insert highborn lord/knight] in that mind map.

Jeyne isn't envious of Arya's relationship with Ned Stark and much less of her skills. Jeyne is envious, and perhaps even particularly resentful, of the fact that Arya is offered AND rejects what Jeyne wishes but will always stay out of her reach.

I have joked about Jeyne's crush on Beric (and her possible implied crushes on Robb & Theon) in the past but I don't think I ever mentioned the class envy when doing so.

When [Jeyne] saw young Lord Beric Dondarrion, with his hair like red gold and his black shield slashed by lightning, she pronounced herself willing to marry him on the instant. - Sansa II, AGOT

She had seen Jeyne Poole giving [Robb] moist-eyed glances, and some of the serving girls, even ones as old as eighteen… - Catelyn XI, AGOT

"Help me." [Jeyne] clutched at [Theon]. "Please. I used to watch you in the yard, playing with your swords. You were so handsome." - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

All the men she seems to at some point in her life experience some form of attraction for, even if it is that of a child, it's a puppy crush, just infatuation, are people she would never have a chance with. Two (theoretically) future lord paramounts and a marcher lord. All of them unachievable to a steward's daughter. And with that in consideration, let's look at this:

Arya cocked her head to one side. "Can I be a king's councillor and build castles and become the High Septon?" "You," Ned said, kissing her lightly on the brow, "will marry a king and rule his castle, and your sons will be knights and princes and lords and, yes, perhaps even a High Septon." Arya screwed up her face. "No," she said, "that's Sansa." She folded up her right leg and resumed her balancing. Ned sighed and left her there. - Eddard V, AGOT

And I wonder how frustrating that must feel to Jeyne. To see someone who she deems as inferior in skills and manners because of the conditioning they've gone through under Septa Mordane's tutelage, someone who she considers beneath her, be offered and forced things she desperately wants and will never get.

Hell, Jeyne even manifests some juridical administrative knowledge and argues with Sansa about it, something she won't get to do as an adult woman, while Sansa and Arya will rule (their husband's) castles.

"Father's leg, silly. It hurts him ever so much, it makes him cross. Otherwise I'm certain he would have sent Ser Loras." [...] "Ser Ilyn's the King's Justice, not Ser Loras," Jeyne said. "Lord Eddard should have sent him." - Sansa III, AGOT

Not that any of them would be good at ruling anything, they are all middle schoolers at this point, but I think she could have felt vexed at constantly seeing Arya reject all that she wishes she could have for herself.

Please don't misunderstand me, that is still not a valid reason to bully Arya.

There are no valid reasons to bully a child.

But there are reasons behind Jeyne's mentality and actions, and I think some of those reasons come from a sense of resentment over how "easy" things are for Arya because of her status as Lord Stark's daughter.

As Arya Stark, Jeyne's dreams come true, she marries the future paramount Lord of Winterfell and twisted wish fulfilment is one hell of a drug and not one strong enough to numb the pain! And to add insult to injury, the real Arya gets to spend a significant amount of time accompanying Beric Dondarrion and his band of merry men. I fucking hate this!

And while I think that this is the main aspect of Jeyne bullying Arya, there is something more which I haven't seen written elsewhere and I am willing to admit it could be a sketchy interpretation, but I would like to talk about it anyway because it's MY inane post and I get to choose the straws I grasp at!

Ⅲ. Ⅱ. JEYNE POOLE'S LOOKS

We don't have a lot of physical descriptions for Jeyne. Her eyes are the most remarkable feature about her, being described as big, brown and expressive by Theon and Jaime. Sansa and Holly consider her pretty. Theon calls her beautiful, but only when prompted by Ramsay and it's not very believable. In his thoughts he previously claims she is no longer pretty because of the slashes on her back. I don't know how seriously he means this, but I find it remarkable. Asides from that she is described as a skinny, pale, brown haired girl. She describes herself as formerly pretty but not beautiful and when doing so compares herself to Sansa and sees herself as the lesser of the two. And yet, the entire ruse she is later involved in with this pseudo-karmic punishment, is based on her looking similar enough to Arya or the Stark look to pass as one. I always thought it was so extremely funny how defensive she gets when she claims her face isn't horsey, at the mere mention of the "horseface" nickname, even without Theon telling her she looks horsey.

I don't know. It is probably that I'm looking into this with more depth than I should simply because of...obvious reasonsfsgfgsfsghgdnfjdhdf, but who sometimes makes remarks about the Stark look being one of bastards and plain-looking-people?

[Arya] even looked like Jon, with the long face and brown hair of the Starks, and nothing of their lady mother in her face or her coloring. And Jon's mother had been common, or so people whispered.- Sansa I, AGOT

My lord father found some skinny northern girl more or less the same age with more or less the same coloring. - Jaime IX, ASOS

"You [Arya] ought to marry Hodor, you're just like him, stupid and hairy and ugly!" - Sansa III, AGOT

Imagining little Sansa Stark going to vent to little Jeyne Poole after having an argument with her sister and making a perhaps not even genuinely meant comment about little Arya Stark's looks and Jeyne just sitting there mentally competing against Stannis Baratheon in who can grind their teeth the hardest.

While there are no instances of Sansa calling Arya "Horseface" she sometimes remarks to herself and to her sister that she thinks Arya is ugly and looks like a commoner.

And who has class insecurities and also seems to look similar to Arya?

"Jeyne, Jeyne, it rhymes with plain..." I can already imagine her whispering that to herself if she ever hears Theon's rhymes.

"I was never beautiful like Sansa, but they all said I was pretty. Does Lord Ramsay think I am pretty?" - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

The only thing Jeyne seems to really have going for her compared to Arya, the thing that could miraculously elevate her, are her looks and even those pale compared to Sansa. As said, she is described as pretty by some, but not beautiful.

In my opinion, the text doesn't really describe Arya as ugly. It is somewhat left up to interpretation since, while Sansa, Cat, Theon and Arya herself give us the impression she might be, there are also textual comparisons to Lyanna and even people who didn't know her think of Arya as beautiful (Lady Smallwood), but since these girls grew up the way they grew up...

I can imagine Jeyne feeling like her "prettiness" is the one thing she thinks can be used to make her more valuable in Westerosi society, and in order to keep that idea of herself being prettier than Arya, she has to make sure Arya doesn't feel good about her looks, so she calls her horseface.

And, if going by this entire text that I've been writing because I am stupid, that is also completely self-destructive and tragicomical !!!

Basically I think it is possible that Jeyne is projecting her own insecurities regarding her looks and her overall sense of inferiority compared to Sansa unto Arya.

And Jeyne has reasons to feel inferior to Sansa beyond simply the class hierarchy and the possible feeling of unattractiveness, because - and now I will get blocked by another load of people if this is read- Sansa is not very good at being a friend to her!

Ⅳ. The Sansa-Jeyne Dynamic

This is one of those things that completely baffles me, same as the Theon-Robb dynamic, where I have no idea how it is possible that my perception in the past ten years has been so drastically different from the majority of the fandom. And I swear to god, I've tried to change my perspective, I read metas, I tried fanfics, and I still don't get it.

This years Sansa month dedicated an entire day to Jeyne Poole.

Someone who is not very well acquainted with the books would probably assume Jeyne Poole is a very important girl in Sansa's narrative based on that information. They'd probably be surprised to find out that, since the two girls were separated, Jeyne Poole is remembered a total number of four times by Sansa Stark.

Sansa thinks of Jeyne Poole a total of four (4) times since AGOT.

In the span of four books in which both Stark sisters go through terribly drastic changes in their lives, Arya thinks of the girl who bullied her three times.

Sansa who loves and misses Jeyne thinks of her four times.

And you are telling me that she is so important to Sansa that she deserves an entire day dedicated to her? And everything that is created in that day is about how Sansa loves her so much and cares for her tremendously and will protect her?

PERSON D: It's because Sansa is traumatised. It pains her too much to think of her. Not thinking of her is a coping mechanism.

"She missed Septa Mordane, and even more Jeyne Poole, her truest friend. The septa had lost her head with the rest, for the crime of serving House Stark. Sansa did not know what had happened to Jeyne, who had disappeared from her rooms afterward, never to be mentioned again. She tried not to think of them too often, yet sometimes the memories came unbidden, and then it was hard to hold back the tears." - Sansa II, ACOK

Person D: See?

Probably! I don't oppose that interpretation, it's very possible. People often suppress painful memories. But I can still disapprove of that coping mechanism. Would you like it if you suddenly disappeared form the face of earth in extremely mysterious circumstances and your friend wouldn't even ask about what happened to you? I don't think I would feel loved and treasured if I were to know that.

I don't like the way their dynamic is perceived by a majority of the fandom based on those four thoughts and the few other times we seen them interact in AGOT.

Person E: Oh OP is just posting anti-Jeynsa stuff because they ship Jeyne, A CHILD, with Theon, AN ADULT MAN AND RAPIST!

I wouldn't consider this anti-Jeynsa since

This is what makes their dynamic intriguing for me. This is the type of Jeynsa I'm into!!!

I don't think their relationship in inherently wrong or that it would be morally condemnable.

Also I don't even really ship Theon & Jeyne as an endgame romantic/sexual ship, not that it wowuld be morally wrong for anyone to do so. I "ship" it as a very turbulent dynamic between two people who have been forced to bond by the horrible circumstances they have been in and who have had the boundaries that define certain relationship dynamics blurred in some very traumatic ways. I "ship it" in the sense that I would like to see both of them find some tranquility and peace in their lives and try to explore which of those blurred boundaries they wish to reestablish, keep blurred or fully erase. Hell, I wrote a 100k fanfic focusing on their relationship and didn't even let them be endgame. I didn't even let them be actually in love.

It's just that "cute, loving, soft, homoromantic childhood best friends" isn't the dynamic I'm usually interested in.

And I don't think the Jeynsa dynamic is that.

I think there are class issues and inferiorities to be explored. I think Sansa is true in her affections for Jeyne, she loves her and sees her as a friend, but she is also diminishing and tends to look down on her, and regardless if it is a coping mechanism or not, she shows no interest in finding out what happened to who she considers her "truest friend".

And I don't believe Sansa is a bad person for this, I believe she is a young girl. Relationships between women are complicated enough already. Relationships between pre-teen and teen girls have entire studies dedicated to them.

Person F: How much would Sansa even consider her as a bff? In their bullying of Arya, Jeyne comes across as the acolyte to Queen Bea Sansa. And that's just modern projection. Jeyne is from a minor house. She's just a steward's daughter. She's just slightly above a servant in feudalist hierarchy. She's assigned to be her "friend" coz she's conveniently the same age, and that's just what you did then. Like "milk-siblings", servants who shared a wetnurse with a lord. (1/2)(2/2) Lower houses are fancy domesticity to the greater houses. The great nobility is fancy domesticity to royalty. That's just how feudalism worked. Everyone was thought of as a servant, the entirety of society was built on a network of servitude and dependance. Even the king is a servant: to God. Or "Gods" in the case of ASOIAF. Hence all the conclicts between church and royalty.

I saw this comment a while ago on a Tumblr post (I'm not putting a source link because I don't believe that would be fair to them and also it's older than a year) and I don't like it.

I think it is unfairly villainising Sansa and also removing Jeyne's agency in that situation by putting her as an "acolyte" (assistant, follower), when the composition of our first scene involving them, in my opinion, shows her as an adviser. I also don't like how it is pretending that Jeyne is being forced to be Sansa's friend and if going by that logic, then why isn't Beth being forced to be Arya's friend?

I disagree with it. I think it simplifies a more complex situation.

But I wish we were allowed to explore the less wholesome aspects in the Jeyne-Sansa dynamic without being instantaneously labeled as a Sansa-anti and it is what I'll attempt.

Something I always found very endearing and relatable about Sansa was how much she craved for friends - especially female friends - since she is left alone in King's Landing.

It had been so long since she had enjoyed the company of other women, she had almost forgotten how pleasant it could be. - Sansa II, ASOS

How am I supposed not to feel my heart ache in bittersweetness? My favourite Sansa "friendship" is actually the one she builds with Garlan Tyrell, but this is a moment of bliss.

It's interesting how Sansa often finds amusement in female friends who act very differently from how she does, but as her character evolves in the books her feelings for those types of companions also seem to change.

We have Jeyne, Margaery and Myranda, as her "friends", characters with whom she experiences very different dynamics and I think it is at least partially involved with their classes too.

Jeyne is the one she treats the most poorly, in my opinion. Ignoring how little she thinks of her after Jeyne is taken away by Littlefinger, let's see some of their previous interactions and let's also keep in mind that Sansa is (at most) a 12-year-old girl not having a very good time and she deserves compassion:

[...] Jeyne and Sansa cried out in unison as riders crashed together, lances exploding into splinters while the commons screamed for their favorites. Jeyne covered her eyes whenever a man fell, like a frightened little girl, but Sansa was made of sterner stuff. A great lady knew how to behave at tournaments. Even Septa Mordane noted her composure and nodded in approval. - Sansa II, AGOT

Sansa feels superior to Jeyne for staying calm at the face of violence. This will become a pattern.

Jeyne Poole wept so hysterically that Septa Mordane finally took her off to regain her composure, but Sansa sat with her hands folded in her lap, watching with a strange fascination. [...] By then Septa Mordane had returned, alone. Jeyne had been feeling ill, she explained; she had helped her back to the castle. Sansa had almost forgotten about Jeyne. - Sansa II, AGOT

Jeyne is hysterical after seeing a man die at the tourney, Sansa isn't very concerned for her friend's mental state.

"His leg?" Jeyne said uncertainly. She was a pretty, dark-haired girl of Sansa's own age. "Did Ser Loras hurt his leg?" "Not his leg," Sansa said, nibbling delicately at a chicken leg. "Father's leg, silly. It hurts him ever so much, it makes him cross. Otherwise I'm certain he would have sent Ser Loras." - Sansa III, AGOT

"Silly". It could be solely meant with endearment, but throughout that scene Sansa is in a bad mood and I wonder how Jeyne might have perceived it given she continues arguing with her about juridical administration and contradicts Sansa.

Of course, Jeyne had been in love with Lord Beric ever since she had first glimpsed him in the lists. Sansa thought she was being silly; Jeyne was only a steward's daughter, after all, and no matter how much she mooned after him, Lord Beric would never look at someone so far beneath him, even if she hadn't been half his age. - Sansa III, AGOT

Again, "silly", and this time with a slightly classist connotation. And the saddest thing is that Sansa is right, but she often daydreams of unrealistic or impossible romantic scenarios herself and had a crush on Waymar Royce, a man who was older than her, of lower nobility and about to make a vow of celibacy. Why is Jeyne the silly one for daydreaming?

"They're killing everyone," the steward's daughter had shrieked at her. She went on and on. The Hound had broken down her door with a warhammer, she said. There were bodies on the stair of the Tower of the Hand, and the steps were slick with blood. Sansa dried her own tears as she struggled to comfort her friend. They went to sleep in the same bed, cradled in each other's arms like sisters. The second day was even worse. [...] The only sounds were Jeyne Poole's endless whimpers and sobs. - Sansa IV, AGOT

Jeyne Poole had been confined with her, but Jeyne was useless. Her face was puffy from all her crying, and she could not seem to stop sobbing about her father. "I'm certain your father is well," Sansa told her when she had finally gotten the dress buttoned right. "I'll ask the queen to let you see him." She thought that kindness might lift Jeyne's spirits, but the other girl just looked at her with red, swollen eyes and began to cry all the harder. She was such a child. - Sansa IV, AGOT

Remember what I said about Septa Mordane's "Stop weeping, child."? Sansa is vexed by her crying although Sansa cries herself, thinks of her as useless, she thinks demeaningly of Jeyne because she is crying after realising her father has been killed..

"Jeyne's scared," Sansa said. "She won't stop crying. I promised her I'd ask if she could see her father." - Sansa IV, AGOT

This feels like a twisted version of the first passage in this list. Sansa is scared herself, we know this because she was trembling as she dressed, but she speaks only of Jeyne's fear.

Jeyne Poole and all her things were gone when Ser Mandon Moore returned Sansa to the high tower of Maegor's Holdfast. No more weeping, she thought gratefully. - Sansa IV, AGOT

Sansa, love, I know you are very stressed out but come on open your eyes!

Somehow this reminds me a bit of a less extreme version of Theon's inconsistencies in thoughts and actions involving Jeyne in ADWD. He is very crude when thinking of her, but if you go through his actual treatment of her, he is surprisingly tender. The only exception I can think of for them is in TWOW.

With Sansa, I think it is similar, but whereas Theon is painfully aware of how perilous their lives as Ramsay's playthings are, Sansa constantly refuses to see the gravity of their situation and thus is dismissive of Jeyne in a moment where it becomes terribly cruel. I don't think she doesn't love Jeyne, of course, she does,

The kitchen yielded no lemon cakes, but they did find half of a cold strawberry pie, and that was almost as good. They ate it on the tower steps, giggling and gossiping and sharing secrets, - Sansa III, AGOT

"Where are you sending her? She hasn't done anything wrong, she's a good girl." - Sansa IV, AGOT

No more weeping, she thought gratefully. Yet somehow it seemed colder with Jeyne gone, even after she'd built a fire. - Sansa IV, AGOT

She missed Septa Mordane, and even more Jeyne Poole, her truest friend. [...] Sansa did not know what had happened to Jeyne, who had disappeared from her rooms afterward, never to be mentioned again. - Sansa II, ACOK

She sang for her mother and her father, for her grandfather Lord Hoster and her uncle Edmure Tully, for her friend Jeyne Poole, - Sansa V, ACOK

She had not had a friend to gossip with since poor Jeyne Poole. - Alayne II, AFFC

Remembering bright cold days at Winterfell, when she would race through Winterfell with her friend Jeyne Poole, with Arya running after them trying to keep up. - Alayne I, TWOW

I think Sansa just sometimes takes her for granted.

I think it's sad because it's realistic and it hurts even more when you compare her treatment of Jeyne to her treatment of Margaery and Myranda after going through a period of hostile isolation and a heartbreaking customary middle school betrayal, two things that I believe influence her feelings for both girls.

With Margaery and her posse, she is idealistic. She considers Margaery to be kind, brave and wise, and finds bliss (and a little bit of envy and gayness, ooooh) in the company of her ladies.

Margaery's kindness had been unfailing, and her presence changed everything. Her ladies welcomed Sansa as well. It had been so long since she had enjoyed the company of other women, she had almost forgotten how pleasant it could be. Lady Leonette gave her lessons on the high harp, and Lady Janna shared all the choice gossip. Merry Crane always had an amusing story, and little Lady Bulwer reminded her of Arya, though not so fierce. Closest to Sansa's own age were the cousins Elinor, Alla, and Megga, Tyrells from junior branches of the House. "Roses from lower on the bush," quipped Elinor, who was witty and willowy. Megga was round and loud, Alla shy and pretty, but Elinor ruled the three by right of womanhood; she was a maiden flowered, whereas Megga and Alla were mere girls. The cousins took Sansa into their company as if they had known her all their lives. They spent long afternoons doing needlework and talking over lemon cakes and honeyed wine, played at tiles of an evening, sang together in the castle sept ... and often one or two of them would be chosen to share Margaery's bed, where they would whisper half the night away. Alla had a lovely voice, and when coaxed would play the woodharp and sing songs of chivalry and lost loves. Megga couldn't sing, but she was mad to be kissed. She and Alla played a kissing game sometimes, she confessed, but it wasn't the same as kissing a man, much less a king. - Sansa II, ASOS

There is a direct comparison to Arya, mentions of many of Sansa's hobbies, some sapphicness, and if I squint my eyes the needlework and lemon cakes remind me of Jeyne & Beth. And then...Sansa is made to marry Tyrion and that match frustrates the Tyrell's ambitions.

And here Sansa found the Tyrells. Margaery gave her such a sad look, and when the Queen of Thorns tottered in between Left and Right, she never looked at her at all. Elinor, Alla, and Megga seemed determined not to know her. My friends, Sansa thought bitterly. - Sansa III, ASOS

After that emotional betrayal, Sansa spends more time of isolation and this time it's even more depressing in my opinion. The few people who show her kindness are also somewhat compliant in her misery and then she gets abducted by Petyr Baelish and has to take the role of his bastard daughter, Alayne Stone. Under this guise she meets Myranda Royce and Mya Stone.

While I would say she befriends both girls, her connection with Randa resembles that which she had with Jeyne and Margaery more than her connection with Mya. Both of them share some common interests and Myranda, isn't disdainful at all of her supposed bastardy.

Person G: That's because she is cunning and suspects Alayne is actually highborn.

I'm not so convinced by that argument! She is described of being as closes as sisters with Mya Stone, another bastard.

Sansa's distrust for Myranda is, in my opinion, only partially fuelled by Littlefinger's words.

"Soon or late you must meet Myranda Royce," Petyr had warned her. "When you do, be careful. She likes to play the merry fool, but underneath she's shrewder than her father. Guard your tongue around her." - Alayne II, AFFC

I think her distrust comes mostly from her last close homosocial relationship having been a farce, from feeling manipulated, used and deceived. And that mistrust remains but is worn down by Randa's warm personality.

I think there is is something very sweet about comparing the following passages:

Sansa knelt at the feet of her future queen. "You do me great honor, Your Grace." "Won't you call me Margaery? Please, rise. Loras, help the Lady Sansa to her feet. Might I call you Sansa?" - Sansa I, ASOS

"Kind?" The older girl gave a laugh. "How boring that would be. I aspire to be wicked. You must tell me all your secrets on the ride down. May I call you Alayne?" "If you wish, my lady." But you'll get no secrets from me. "I am 'my lady' at the Gates, but up here on the mountain you may call me Randa. How many years have you, Alayne?" [...] "As you say, my lady." "Randa. Come now, you can say it. Ran. Da." "Randa." - Alayne II, AFFC

It's curious how in both cases there is this chance of friendship being offered to Sansa by a girl who has a higher rank than her but one is done much more courteously than the other. Sansa never calls Myranda "Randa" again, but as she warms up to her she begins referring to her as such in the narration. I think that is very heartwarming.

Maybe it is stupid to complain about the idealisation of a flawed friendship in these books, but I think the reason it annoys me so much is because it removes this type of development in Sansa's socialising. Her interactions with Myranda are delightful to read and I think it's the healthiest friendship she has formed yet.

And Myranda also embodies aspects of Margaery and Jeyne, so it's an even funnier conclusion. She is a little bit less ladylike than Sansa, but is still comfortable with her gender and the assigned roles, she is a little foul mouthed, she likes to gossip and to take friends to her bed (in an apparent not-sexual way).

"Lothor Brune?" Myranda raised an eyebrow. "Does she know?" She did not wait for an answer. "He has no hope, poor man. My father's tried to make a match for Mya, but she'll have none of them. She is half mule, that one." Despite herself, Alayne found herself warming to the older girl. She had not had a friend to gossip with since poor Jeyne Poole. "Do you think Ser Lothor likes her as she is, in mail and leather?" she asked the older girl, who seemed so worldly-wise. "Or does he dream of her draped in silks and velvets?" "He's a man. He dreams of her naked." She is trying to make me blush again. Lady Myranda must have heard her thoughts. "You do turn such a pretty shade of pink. When I blush I look quite like an apple. I have not blushed for years, though." She leaned closer. "Does your father plan to wed again?" - Alayne II, AFFC

Even Lady Myranda began to yawn and complain of being weary. "We have apartments prepared for all of you," she told Alayne, "but if you like you may share my bed tonight. It's large enough for four." "I should be honored, my lady." "Randa. Count yourself fortunate that I'm so tired. All I want to do is curl up and go to sleep. Usually when ladies share my bed they have to pay a pillow tax and tell me all about the wicked things they've done." "What if they haven't done any wicked things?" "Why, then they must confess all the wicked things they want to do. Not you, of course. I can see how virtuous you are just by looking at those rosy cheeks and big blue eyes of yours." She yawned again. "I hope your feet are warm. I do hate bedmaids with cold feet." - Alayne II, AFFC

"I do hope you will forgive me for depriving you of Lady Myranda's company," Alayne told the knights. She did not wait for a reply, but took the older girl arm-in-arm and drew her away from the bench. Only when they were out of earshot did she whisper, "Do you really know where my father is?" "Of course not. Walk faster, my new suitors may be following." Myranda made a face. "Ossifer Lipps is the dullest knight in the Vale, but Uther Shett aspires to his laurels. I am praying they fight a duel for my hand, and kill each other." Alayne giggled. "Surely Lord Nestor would not seriously entertain a suit from such men." - Alayne I, TWOW

"Too late," Myranda said. "They're here. We shall need to do the honors by ourselves." She grinned. "Last one to the gate must marry Uther Shett." They made a race of it, dashing headlong across the yard and past the stables, skirts flapping, whilst knights and serving men alike looked on, and pigs and chickens scattered before them. It was most unladylike, but Alayne sound found herself laughing. For just a little while, as she ran, she forget who she was, and where, and found herself remembering bright cold days at Winterfell, when she would race through Winterfell with her friend Jeyne Poole, with Arya running after them trying to keep up. By the time they arrived at the gatehouse, both of them were red-faced and panting. Myranda had lost her cloak somewhere along the way. They were just in time. - Alayne I, TWOW 

I don't even ship them (Mya x Myranda and Sansa x Brienne ftw), and this doesn't have anything to do with the theme of whatever this text turned into, but I love their dynamic so much I would ship it if it became canon. It's adorable and funny and out of her dynamics with other girls, this one is my favourite.

We know that the Sansa-Margaery friendship turned out disappointingly, and some have the suspicion that Myranda could act as a new tormentor for Sansa, and I have no way to disprove that, but seeing her development in regards to female friendships makes me at least doubt it.

She took Jeyne for granted and was disdainful, spent a time of hostile isolation, met Margaery and her ladies, went through the horrors of idealisation and crashed against the truth, spent even more time alone and kept the wounds from her sorrow, and is now apparently finding a healthy friendship with Myranda Royce and I love that for her.

It makes me wonder how her feelings for Jeyne could evolve if they get to meet again, and whether she will be more conscious of how their friendship was flawed. Of how she should have probably tried to be more attentive to the dynamic between Jeyne & Arya, of how she perhaps shouldn't have been passive about Jeyne's bullying nor participated in it.

As I write I am checking everything in my journals and I couldn't find a single occasion in which we see Sansa calling Arya "Horseface", but I did however find her thinking of Arya's looks as "horsey" with a negative connotation:

Her long horsey face got the stubborn look that meant she was going to do something willful. [...] One day she came back grinning her horsey grin, her hair all tangled and her clothes covered in mud, clutching a raggedy bunch of purple and green flowers for Father.  - Sansa II, AGOT

She also giggles at and uses Jeyne's nicknames for Hobber and Horas Redwyne:

The Redwyne twins, Ser Horas and Ser Hobber, homely youths with orange hair and square, freckled faces. Sansa and Jeyne Poole used to call them Ser Horror and Ser Slobber, and giggle whenever they caught sight of them. - Arya V, AGOT

She recognized black-skinned Jalabhar Xho, gloomy Ser Aron Santagar, the Redwyne twins Horror and Slobber - Sansa V, ACOK

Paxter Redwyne, Lord of the Arbor, marched down the length of the hall flanked by his twin sons Horror and Slobber, - Sansa VIII, ACOK

And seeing her snicker at those names is already enough for me to pin her as a passive victimiser in their case. Even if she felt bad about it, something I could find no indication of. Sansa doesn't think of how painful it must be for them to be referred to that way, how dehumanising it is.

So, with that information, I don't think she's above having called Arya "Horseface".

Ⅴ. Adulthood

Where are the adults? Why is it that during the entire time we spend with these three girls under the care of Septa Mordane, Ned and Catelyn Stark and Vayon Poole we never see them taking action and putting a stop to this?

DontbotherwiththepronunciationRightNowRealisingTheySpentWayTooMuchFuckingTimeDevelopingAPunchlineTheyLost: Probably because this book isn't about medieval setting middle school bullying, you idiot! And there is a lot of really urgent stuff going on with the adults. Get over yourself.

Yeah...

But still! Prior to all that, prior to the story we've been reading, these characters existed in their own universe and in that universe, all these girls have been judged by adult society and have been set in a toxic environment that unintentionally allows and encourages the bullying.

I already explained that when talking about Septa Mordane.

My question now isn't whether we should fault the adults or not, but more about how this would have developed as Arya, Jeyne and Sansa all became adults.

Of corse, this is all speculation on a rather unimportant topic that has been discussed hundreds of times before and my opinion is probably somewhat tainted by lingering emotions, so yeah this might have been worthless but I couldn't sleep and it was a little fun.

Perhaps because of my own issues with bullying, which were handed very poorly by the adults who should have solved it, I like daydreaming about these three girls, all of who I like and wish good things upon, and wondering whether they would have been able to solve their problems as they matured into adulthood if their lives had remained peaceful. I sadly don't think they would have.

Throughout the entire text I wrote, I felt like walking on egg shells because, as you can probably see if you just look at my blog, I barely talk about Arya or Sansa and I know there is a lot of tension between fans of those characters and I didn't want to say anything that could feel offensive and somehow it was still surprisingly easy to write this. I think maybe it is because I don't relate to any of the characters, like I do with Theon or Barbrey, so I can distance myself from it a little more. On the other hand, this is a topic that still haunts me.

I really don't think they would have solved any of this if they had remained in Winterfell with things going the way they usually went.

But now, after being completely torn and victimised by war in extremely different ways that still somehow manage to bring similar themes to their stories (the always present threat of sexual abuse, the weaponising of a person, depersonalisation, dead parents, a broken home, losing their privileges as highborn, being saved by the Hound), once they reunite and are the only bonds that remains of a happier time, I think they could.

Maybe their newly found maturity and the despair born out of tragedy could make it easier to overcome all their past offences and forge a bond.

It's strange. I always go for the bitter, resentful and scorned women - I wonder why - (Barb, Cersei) or those who have aspects I can relate to cultural duality, immigration or rootlessness (Theon, Dany) but never for the more-or-less-happily-gender-conforming "damsel in distress", much less for one who reminds me of some of the worst people I've met, and yet out of the three girls involved in this she is the one I am the most attached to.

I think she mostly grew on me after I learnt she was omitted from the show and that her narrative was given to Sansa because that is such a cruel joke from D&D.

Jeyne Poole: Hey! I am the character meant to show how everyone is valuable, worthy and deserving of being saved and protected and how everyone matters and also to further develop Theon's character while functioning as a symbol of his culpability and regret of the three vilest things he has done(among other things of course)! D&D: Ok, we are cutting her because she is not important enough to matter. Give her plot to the barely adult red-headed Stark so Theon can find redemption by saving a Stark and getting a wolf pin and we can shiptease Sansa with a bunch of people and marketise her as an ice queen girlboss.

It's so mean it's a little funny. On a meta level I think she is the biggest loser in this series. I think that is why I like her so much. I liked her before I knew of that and I remember crying at @/croclock's art of her and Theon escaping (1) (2) (3), but I didn't feel as emotionally attached to her until after I found out.

I remember when I watched the show there was a scene that caused a lot of controversy that I can somehow relate to this.

Sandor Clegane: You've changed, Little Bird. None of it would have happened if you'd left King's Landing with me. No Littlefinger, no Ramsay... none of it. Sansa Stark: Without Littlefinger and Ramsay and the rest, I would have stayed a Little Bird all my life.

And of course this dialogue is gross and it doesn't make any sense in the books, and I still wrote it down on my journals because I think, maybe trying to be an optimist, that the message behind it was different than what was actually said???

It comes across as "I'm happy and grateful I was abused and raped" which is nauseating, obviously, but I think it was rather supposed to be more of a "All the choices I've made across my life and all the events that occurred through it have lead me here, to become the person I am today and I am proud of that person." which could still have been controversial, but is something I would have agreed with more, and it's not something I would only apply on these girls.

Maybe we'll get such a moment at some point with a better execution, hopefully, in the books.

[collectionoftulips]

Thoughts following the most recent episode of The Way Home

There's probably maybe like one other person on here or maybe a few who watch The Way Home and if so, hi!!, and secondly, I hope my regulars will excuse me for talking about another show for a minute. (For those who haven't seen it - I really recommend giving it a watch!) Basically - I've had some thoughts swirling around my head since the latest episode (this is mainly about some of my changing thoughts on who I ship on the show):

(Spoilers for 2x08 of The Way Home and it's mostly Kat-centric thoughts)

In some ways, my thoughts can be summarised by two points and I will make the case for them below: I feel like I have outgrown Elliot/Kat the way they are currently being written and I'm pretty heavily going on the Kat/Thomas ship.

If someone had told me at the end of season one, that I would be finding myself torn between Elliot/Kat and a new ship, I would have said that they are bananas. But after thinking about it some, at least the way the ship is being currently written, I'm not the fan I once was - and I don't think it's entirely because I'm 'intended' to have those feelings at this point of the show.

I really appreciate how this season has really given Elliot more space to grow as an independent character outside of his romantic relationship with Kat, but I think by giving him that space, the show inadvertently, or perhaps too successfully, made a case for why they are not right for each other at this very moment in time. The fundamental issue, to me, is that Elliot has spent so much of his childhood idealising Kat and he has in some ways put her on a pedestal. He knows her, but the way he knows her is so intimately wrapped up in his feelings towards her and that coupled with the weight of their past together, makes it an increasingly less attractive ship because of a few reasons:

a) he knows her very well but it's going to be very difficult disentangle the reality from the fantasy he has grown up with in his head (and being friends with someone is very different from being in a romantic relationship with them) b) she's been put on this pedestal that the only way she can change in his eyes is by disappointing him; she's already got this aura of 'endgame' status in his head c) it's very difficult to see where they get room to grow in a way that allows them both the character growth they both need/deserve, especially given the amount of trauma that especially Kat is going through (Elliot has also been through stuff, but that's mainly in the past that we partly get to see or it's off-screen in the past).

Additionally, seeing Kat going back to the 1812 has really highlighted some aspects of her characterisation that were previously not as prominent; she's spent most of her life blaming herself for Jacob's disappearance and now that she is on the precipice of finding him, she's displaying really a lack of self-preservation and desperation (to the point where she even forgets Alice and Thomas has to literally remind her that she has people depending on her and obviously there's the subtext that he might have feelings for her that I'm now very here for). These things make total sense for Kat as a character, but I don't think any of the people back in her time fully realise the extent of that self-destructive tendency (we also saw a less Jacob-related instance of this in the most recent episode with Kat's idea to go to London and leave Brady, but Elliot was too busy to be all 'this is my shot!' to really notice).

My growing hypothesis since 2x07 is that a lot of Kat's interactions with Thomas is fundamentally fuelled by Thomas' acknowledgement and frustration with Kat's lack of self-preservation (a skill he himself had to learn growing up in the time he is from), a tendency which is also amplified by the fact that Kat is from a different time and doesn't really have the same kind of sense about the scale of danger around certain tasks. I'm might be reading into it, but I was thinking about what was going on during their superdramatic beach scene, when he picks her up and it looks for a moment like he is about to wade out to sea with her. On the surface, of course, Kat's terrified that Jacob might die and also a fear and frustration that she does not know her brother, that even if he survives it might not matter because he might not remember her, that he has grown so much from the little boy that she knew that the fact that she found him might matter very little.

But I was wondering a little about Thomas' reaction regarding that whole scene. He's of course frustrated that she doesn't seem to have much understanding of the extent to which the world that they inhabit is not one that is forgiving or allows one to stay on any kind of moral high ground, but I also thought that probably from his perspective, he's probably getting quite frustrated with Kat. This is a woman who seems to have absolutely no self-preservation, and while he has recently learned that she is a time traveller, that lack of self-preservation runs much deeper than just being ignorant of the time period. She is a woman he clearly deeply respects and admires and has growing feelings for but that regard is seemingly not one she has of herself, and it has to be pretty frustrating for him to see someone whose strength he admires seemingly not respect herself or have such little regard for her own wellbeing. Which is why I think he reacted the way he did, trying to snap her out of the emotional spiral she was going down when she was in a panic trying to grasp at anything to soothe the sense of crisis that was exploding inside her.

In these ways, I sort of feel like the show has propped Thomas up to be the opposite of Elliot; this is not a man who has been in love with Kat Landry a really long time, but one that only recently realised it, and where Elliot sees this idealised 'prize' version of Kat (informed by his childhood), Thomas sees all of Kat's 'flaws' and all of the 'cracks' that she conceals from people in her regular life, and loves appreciates her for those qualities.

While obviously the extent to which they have any future depends on what the writers have decided to do for season two (and for season three), and it is looking pretty bleak, I like the path forward for Kat/Thomas more, as there is more ground to cover there and I think it would be a very different dynamic that I would find refreshing. Hence me going a bit cold on Elliot and Kat (despite that kiss in the most recent episode which felt like the most shoehorned thing ever that had extremely poor build up but that's a rant for a different post) and am now leaning towards the potentially doomed ship of Thomas/Kat.

I don't know if this made any sense, and I'm not sure if anyone is interested in my thoughts on this but it's either ranting about it here or at some point writing fic, so I decided for the former for the time being.

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

Kokichi being related to Ishimaru

Apolllo: All the killing games were simulations (though Junko did die. She had it set up that once she was executed, life support would be switched off and a poison would be administrated meaning she didn't have to face them for she knew it would cause despair for them not to get that sort of closure. She made sure her pod was hidden as well). Kokichi got some of his leadership skills from his cousin, one Kiyotaka Ishimaru. They have different styles sure but he still learnt most of his things from Taka. He also learnt some from both Byakuya and the Imposter (who's impressed that Kokichi somehow managed to pick up that they weren't all they seemed). It hurt all three of them though Byakuya is hesitant to admit it to see him in V3 and the way he acted during it. It hit Imposter hard because they were one of the causes behind the tragedy which ended up with Kokichi being captured.

Ves: making kokichi an ishimaru is FASCINATING was he shielded from the grandpa blowback? Apollo: He's shielded dw! Kokichi doesn't tell anyone about their connection until he gets into Hope's Peak and one of them (probably Taka) slip up and mention that they're cousins or something

Ves: being in that family's gotta give him some WILD baggage around leadership, still how's he feel about having a cop uncle Apollo: Oh it really does. Especially when he gets his acceptance letter. He's tried to be his own person but he now officially has a (somewhat) similar talent to his cousin. As for the cop uncle, it's sorta awkward because DICE aren't the most…Law abiding citizens out there Ves: the ishimarus are canonically poor as dirt bc of what happened, but there seems to be a lot of pride in not turning to ~less scrupulous~ ways of earning money. the friction DICE'd cause,,,ouch

Apollo: It's something that annoys the hell out of Kokichi. So what if he's pulling stupid pranks and occasionally petty theft? If the world finds out he's connected to them, they're gonna expect it so may as well have fun. Taka's tried to stop him but it hasn't worked. Kokichi's got it in his mind that because Japan basically hates his family, he may as well give them a reason to hate him for more than any connections he has He almost turns down Hope's Peak but DICE encourage him to go…They regret it when everything happens though He forgives them dw

Ves: 'forgives' implies previous anger apollo don't do it don't break up the clown fambly- Apollo: At first he may or may not be slightly annoyed when he first goes to Hope's Peak because who needs some stupid school? He wants to go back to the clowns damn it! Ves: ohhh i thought u meant blaming them for him getting kidnapped Apollo: No he'd never do that he blames the man who ruined his family's life lmao When he gets out and remembers everything, he's pissed off. In the game he wanted to be someone and he gets out and finds that he basically had been but it turned out horribly The others find out and expect him to flaunt it only to discover how disgusted he is with the whole thing. He prefers his poor clown family thank you very much! He is slowly improving his relationship with his cousin and uncle but it's slow

Me: what if the reason Kokichi is shielded from the association with Ishimarus because he's from Taka's mother's side of the family, and his mom (or it could be dad ig, but I imagined mom) was like "I can't believe my sister married a cop" and kept him away for the most part, not fully cutting them off, but they're distant, usually making sure to meet up without the old man there Apollo: OH HELL YES Kokichi purposely fucks with the law because A) It's fun B) He sees how much the whole distance thing is actually hurting the family C) He just wants attention from them and what better way than to end up at the station his uncle works at? Taka tries to reconnect when he realises Kokichi is at Hope's Peak but Ko keeps brushing him off despite knowing he's not to blame for everything Me: yes, cause, when I said they meet up without the old man, I definitely had them still meeting and playing together as kids, but as they got older they started to sense something is off, and their mothers don't get along as well as they tried to make it seem and instead just tried to still support each other despite their disagreements Kokichi probably had a lot of hand-me-downs from Taka when they were kids

Apollo: Imagine if that ends up making Kokichi feel worse because yet again, he's connected to the part of the family his mother is lowkey trying to make him hate or something Me: I just wanted to be silly and have Kokichi's mom say acab and be the one that gave Kokichi his values when this started Apollo: Kokichi: acab…Got it, time to break the law whenever I can Me: She just disapproves, but still loves her sister and they supported each other through rising kids Apollo: The poor kids [pensive emoji]

[viktoriakosci666]

The fact that Daemon x Rhaenyra parallels with Petyr x Sansa is enough proof for me to know that Daemon is not the right guy for Rhaenyra.

Rhaenyra and Sansa were both underage when these men started grooming them and using them for their own ambitions - Petyr married Sansa to Ramsay Bolton, Daemon tried to sully Rhaenyra so that he would be forced to marry the Heir of the Seven Kingdoms, making him the ultimate candidate for King Consort since no one would want a deflowwmered girl - and these men did this with the knowledge that both of these girls did not know any better, because at the end of the day, to these men, these are dumb little girls who know no better and are easier to coerce to do things, like love and marriage and lust (remember, Daemon liked young virgins in the books - probably because they were more innocent and naive to sleep with him - he also convinced Rhaenyra that he was in love with her by simply taking her to a brothel and kissing her and by giving her gifts occasionally).

Rhaenyra: believes that Daemon loves her because a) he gives her gifts b) he kissed her in a brothel c) he was helping her to strip her clothing so that she could be naked d) he nearly kissed her on her Wedding day in front of her father - if you look at these scenarios, NONE of these seem Romantic - giving someone gifts can be seen as cute and romantic, but it seems like a tactic that kidnappers use to lure children in by showing them candy to make them trust them - and this level of trust that Rhaenyra has towards Daemon is continously shown within Hotd, whilst Rhaenyra has no problems with distrusting Otto and Alicent - all because Daemon groomed her enough to whisper to her that he was her only really ally - and this level of trust from Rhaenyra is simply because she was too sheltered within her life to know whom she can or can't trust, but since she loves Daemon, she naturally believes in his every word.

Sansa: doesn't believe that Petyr loves her because a) she knows about his obvious feelings for her mother b) she feels strange and wrong when Petyr kisses her c) she's been too traumatised to fully believe someone again who's not a Stark - if you look at THESE scenarios, you see that Sansa doesn't believe that Petyr loves her BECAUSE of her trauma, and it's BECAUSE of her trauma to not trust people that she eventually becomes independent of Petyr and gains insight of real manipulation.

Petyr ultimately wants the Iron Throne, as does Daemon, but Petyr can only do so many things before Sansa abandons him as he has no significancein her life other than being the only man who will 'sometimes' help her, whilst Daemon is stuck with Rhaenyra for life because they are family.

The only difference between Sansa and Rhaenyra is that Sansa realised that she was being used whilst Rhaenyra grew an obsession with Daemon, which ultimately didn't help her realise that he was manipulating her - and both of these affect these girls in different ways.

The Conclusion

Show Sansa learns to make people trust her but she herself doesn't trust them unless they're family, and even her family is limited to her trust - basically, she learned to be the MANIPULATOR and not the manipulated.

Book Rhaenyra learns to not trust people, even her family members, as she becomes paranoid and fearful of who she can trust - she doesn't learn how to manipulate people, so she becomes the MANIPULATED.

In further conclusion, don't ship little girls with their groomers, manipulators or abusers. Rhaenyra, Sansa and Alicent deserve better.

[ansbobcar]

Infodumping/venting about the lack of Mashle fanfics on most fanfic platforms

WARNING: This isn't a vent. This is a mashle fanfic idea dumpster fire with MANGA SPOILERS.

I'm so heartbroken discovering that there is barely any mashle x oc content out there even x readers or character x character. I have so many tiny plot point ideas for a Rayne/Rain x fem oc/reader. Which resulted in me beginning to write my own oc, Darren Randel. Her name's stolen from my random ass mha oc Darren Halston. Darren Randel is lowkey different (she's less edgy/and emotionally unstable) even though they both have brown hair.

PLS TELL ME IF YOU'RE GONNA STEAL OR GET INSPO FROM THIS PLS BECUZ I WOULD LIKE TO HELP.

SO-

What was the original plot idea you may ask?

Infamous girl from rival school transfers to Easton Magic Academy because she fell in love with Rayne Ames lol.

Lowkey unoriginal right?

So then I added an extra spin to it borrowing a key romance drama plot point from See You in My 19th Life: Darren only gets 3 chances to confess and have her feelings be reciprocated by Rayne, and if he rejects her feelings. She'll give up (on that romance).

The ending of the fanfic is bittersweet: She doesn't get Rayne. But they stay close friends.

OH BUT HERE'S WHAT I'M TRYNA FIGURE OUT TO ADD MORE OF THAT BITTERSWEET FEEL TO IT:

1. Darren confused her initial crush on Rayne to be love at first sight/romantic feelings when she actually felt like she had a friend/that sense of trust in him compared to others.

1a. As a result of that she kind of decides to nullify all her chances of getting him.

1b. Regardless of this plot point she still ends up developing actual romantic attraction for Rayne and still doesn't get her feelings reciprocated.

2. It turns out that Rayne ALSO developed feelings for Darren over the course of the fic but he still rejects her advances due to either:

a. Her newfound realisation that she confused her feelings of attraction for something like companionship or trust. (1a)

b. His new position and role as Divine Visionary and the fear that she would be in more danger than she already was. (For context: her former school Walkis has so much beef with her existence for the 4 ish years she was there that they want her erased from existence and the Bureau of Magic is extremely alert about her whereabouts due to that and her skills which will be explained in the OC Profile section below).

c. Typical fears of a dude who for most of his life before Easton was seen as a nuisance alongside his younger brother Finn. (Big headcanon.) Doubt he cares/he probably would shove in the aristocrats face if he was dating her honestly (fake dating plot point???)

_ _ _ _ _ _

OC PROFILE:

Fyi - I haven't completed her complete information so I may have removed some parts.

General Info:

Name: Darren Randel

Other names: “Renren”, “Walkis Traitor”, “Wandless Psycho”

Sex: Female

Age: 18 (from the start of Mashle canon timeline)

Birthday: February 18th

Blood Type: A

Height: 168cm

Occupation: 3rd Year Student at Easton Magic Academy

House: Adler

Affiliation: Easton Magic Academy (current), Walkis Magic Academy (former)

Dominant Hand: Left

Good Subjects: Magic Geography (it better exist), Magic Zoology

Bad Subjects: Magic Mathematics, Magic Biology

Hobbies: Cooking, Running at 4am, Pestering Rayne whenever possible

Favourite Food: Mussel/Seafood Pasta

Favourite Word: “Antidisestablishmentarianism”

Favourite type of the opposite sex: “People think about those?”

Dislikes: Her sense of justice being challenged, Bunbun, People who hate Rayne Ames

Frequently visited school spots: School Garden, Training rooms, Dormitory kitchen 

Appearance: 

Her hair is orange brown with cornflower tips. The way she styles her hair hides one of her lines. The main line that is shown juts out just under her cheek from her forehead while the other one only juts out slightly from the side of her eye. She’s more of a sports person than a bookworm. When she manifests her third line, it appears across and under her eyes. She switches between 3 types of bottoms. Pants, Long skirt, shorter skirt of which she wears jogging leggings underneath but they’re all dark blue you know.

Lines: 2 + 1

Skills/Abilities: 

General Magic: Offensive Magic - Due to the competitive environment of Walkis, she has a general grasp on nearly all learnable offensive magic spells. Being able to cast them with ease compared to more typical and unlethal spells. Her speed at casting these spells were unmatched during her time in middle school.

Personal Magic: Impart - Darren’s magic essentially allows her to balance out either magical power, strength, and weaknesses between her targets (living and non living) or with herself. It’s essentially cheating at life. The magic is highly confusing due to the fact that she doesn’t have to chant the words to the magic and its essentially treated as a debuffing magic (which is wrong because she aims to fight everyone on fair terms).

Impart Zero - It dispels a spell.

Impart Seconth: Impartial Vice - Instead of deducting and balancing their power, like a water dam. Water is added to balance both sides.

Summon: Themis (Goddess of Justice) - When summoned, the user’s wand transforms into a dull sword whilst Themis appears with blindfold with a scale in hand

Themis Inclination - Themis appears and buffs her attacks’ range but she rarely utilises this due to how lackluster it was against Rayne (ineffective) and other people

Impart Thirds: Divine Mercy - It’s essentially renders its' target a painless death. It's an instant kill move.

Impart Thirds: Divine Tears - Unlike Divine Mercy, this one's pure torture. (To be developed later) (Tears of Themis reference?)

Wandless Casting: Her aptitude to cast magic without a wand has earned her infamy and wanted death since she enrolled into Walkis in middle school. It has also made her wanted by a few subdivisions of the Bureau of Magic, namely Magic Talent and Magic Research Administration.

Immense Speed: Exactly what running at 4am, and doing marathons before starting class does.

Immense Endurance: Due to the fact she does running as a hobby, her stamina/endurance in terms of speed/running is more than decent. She can withstand advanced offensive spells typically used by the police.

Equipment:

Basic Wand - She prefers to not wield a wand though finding it too rudimentary for her purposes, hence many assume she cannot unleash her secondth and thirds magic (to which she has). It stays in her cloak mostly.

Infinite Storage Fabric - Lining her uniform’s robe it has the ability to store anything it can consume within its’ own subspace. She stores majority of her items in it. Even though it’s mass doesn’t change due to how many things there are, it still is a heavy fabric. It will help fish out whatever the user who is currently wearing the cloak wants to have.

Resistance bands - She carries it around to do some exercise. Especially when she’s in the kitchen

Thick Rope - She carries this around as well but its to apprehend anyone she sees.

Photo album of Rayne Ames - She carries this with her at all times alongside a self printing camera. Don't worry, she gets permission to take the pictures.

Family/History:

The Randel Family while not aristocrats or anything, take pride in their magic aptitude which is a recent cut above the rest. Born as a two-liner magic user, she was put on a pedestal with unwanted attention, which is why she has a hime cut to hide her other mark. Her parents treat her like a trophy child and place their expectations on her.

She’s an only child but has an extensive selection of uncles and aunts 5 each. But she prefers her grandma over everyone else.

She had a tendency to break her wands while practising magic as a kid. Due to this her family/parents decided to just stop supplying wands (cuz it was costly) which resulted in her adapting the way she casted magic spells without the use of a wand. During her entrance exam into Walkis, she was ridiculed for not having a wand and got into trouble while getting the highest score of her batch in terms of magic.

_ _ _ _ _ _

I was tempted to add a Modern Magic/unmagic AU of this as well based on the anime endings which I find to be completely confusing even though they're fun. (SERIOUSLY, HOW IN THE WORLD DO RAYNE AND FINN HAVE FANCY OLD CARS THOSE ARE EXPENSIVE TO MAINTAIN WHEN THEY'RE CANONICALLY ORPHANS UNLESS DIVINE VISIONARY IN MODERN AU IS A SUPER RICH POSITION-)

[ssaalexblake]

Don't you think that it's a bit dodgy how 13 basically kills a TARDIS to kill the Daleks and never gets called out on it?

Oh it's super messed up she did it, it's also a bit messed up she wasn't called on it, either, lbr, but this has been one of those things i'm not sure how i feel about. Because hm, hello, that was a murder. That they didn't face consequences for, or even a call out. But also, it's not the first time the doctor's done a murder and not been called on it or faced any consequences for, it happens occasionally.

I know it's happened more than once, but hilariously the only one i can remember rn is one also written by chibnall. Maybe he just has a ~thing (I am talking about dinosaurs on a space ship, which is an episode i hate and probably only remember Because i can't stand it, but still). I distinctly remember rewatching the episode and thinking to myself that I could add that to my list of episodes where the doctor offs somebody, and now I can't remember the others, which is typical, really. Though, I personally think 12 pushed the guy, because he'd never have jumped on his own, so that moment's on the list.

(this whole list was a Thing to start with bc i find it fascinating that the doctor sometimes casually does genocides and doesn't catch Half the fandom crap for it than they do if they kill one person. Something something about crimes that we are able to comprehend and feel emotionally and those we aren't. Like, I cannot comprehend the total annihilation of a species in a single second at all, but I can comprehend a single death and have an emotional response to that one. I find it fascinating ngl).

But to get back on subject, in the end, I think my real answer to this would be to say that it depends on Why she's not called on it. When it aired, people in fandom immediately clocked what she'd done was bad and messed up, so obviously a telling was not strictly Necessary in that people worked it out for themselves.

But, was she not called out for it in the show bc A) they didn't believe it was Necessary to do so bc it wasn't supposed to be bad, B) they didn't believe it was necessary to do so because they realised the audience members both old enough to understand and familiar enough with the snow to know tardises are alive would realise what had happened Without mentioning it and know what she'd done was bad without a hand hold or C) she was not called on it simply because there was nobody To call her on it.

Or it could be a mix of the three different things above. Like, they thought it was messed up for her to do it, but she simply was not called on it bc it was exactly like a few of her other greatest and very messed up hits. Nobody had the context to call her on it, so she wasn't called on it even though it Was messed up just because nobody knew it was messed up.

I like, work on a case by case basis as to whether media should call out its characters for bad behaviour and if it's wrong for them not to because you can't paint everything with the same brush and have any sense of nuance, so I guess I think it depends on if you think it's acceptable or not for a show to portray a character doing something bad that is obviously bad without mentioning it, and if that not doing so implies any kind of acceptance of it. I don't think in general the lack of call outs in media imply acceptance, personally, but that doesn't mean there aren't times when call outs Are necessary.

But I do genuinely think it depends on their reasoning as to if it's actually dodgy they didn't do it or not. Like, if they didn't call her on it bc she apparently did nothing wrong, that's dodgy as hell. If they didn't because they portrayed something bad and trusted the audience to get that without being told, that's ambiguous to me and i am personally unsure how i feel about this instance, and since i've not worked it out in two years, I don't expect to any time soon.

If they didn't do it for watsonian reasons involving the lack of informed knowledgeable characters actually there to call her on it, then i'm fine with that in a vacuum? The fam don't ever actually work out if they think the tardis is alive or some kind of super argumentative AI and that 13 implodes one would probably suggest the ai thing to them, lets be real (even though they'd be very wrong, she hides her worst from them). Jack has basically been trained by the doctor to not ask too many questions at this point by the doctor treating him awfully when he does, And on top of that, he's more ruthless than the doctor to start with and I doubt he'd care much.

I think, in general, instead of a callout, i'd have personally liked a Consequence instead? I don't think bad actions necessarily require a call out bc audiences aren't thick and neither are kids, especially In context of the lack of people to call her out on it. But I do think that consequences should be more often utilised unless you're deliberately showing a moment where somebody Gets Away With Something.

So I'd have loved a consequence for her. Like, 13 desperately needs another tardis being alive and well to do something vital and Oh No the world is going to burn to a cinder bc she killed the last one in a callous last ditch plan which suddenly makes it very clear exactly What she did by killing one! So she's slapped in the face by it even though she didn't have anybody to call her on it at the time. The audience is reminded that what she did was wrong without compromising characterisation, ~viola.

TLDR, it depends on Why she wasn't called on it as to if i think it's necessarily dodgy she wasn't (personally i'd have called her on it, but I don't think it's an automatic black mark she wasn't considering the circumstances of there being nobody would could effectively do so), but i do think it's dodgy she didn't catch any consequences for it, actually? idk, i would have done it differently but i'm a terrible writer so I don't know how. I also would like to know the plan for this show pre-pandemic so i can see what didn't happen through necessity via episode cuts and what didn't happen bc nobody thought it was necessary. It's so hard trying to pick apart anything post rotd without knowing this.

[skeleton-in-a-hoodie]

Ageswap will not be having the love triangle between Yoshi, Shen and Saki as such.

Shen and Saki did use to date. It was back when Shen lived in Japan, but by the time her and her parents moved to New York they'd been broken up for at least 6 months. The breakup was largely due to how Saki treats people he sees as beneath him.

Saki was upset about the breakup, but he handled it 1000x better than his 2012 counterpart. If he even thought of behaving like 12 Shredder, ageswap Shredder and Shinigami would manifest behind him and be like "what do you think you're doing?" In short, Shen is a person, she does not belong to him, it sucks they're not together anymore, but he's gonna deal with his feelings and move on.

There will be no obsessing over her 15+ years after the breakup, kidnapping her kid and lying to said child, or scratching out the eyes of her future partner from photos. Instead he sits on a sofa with Shini and they watch trash tv. They eat icecream and he talks through his emotions.

Ageswap Shredder gets him a dog.

When he sees Shen and Yoshi together and realises that those two 100% like each other but don't know it, he's not so much angry that his ex has moved on (though he is a little upset about that), he's angry that she's flirting with a guy from the clan who kidnapped his twin brother! He had mentioned his missing brother to her - she'd been to his house and seen the photo of him and his brother as infants (he doesn't like guests seeing his literal baby photos, but it's one of the few surviving pictures of his little brother).

Saki's beef with Yoshi is pretty much two guys from different ninja clans fighting in the latest round of a generational clan war, with a side order of Saki being annoyed that Shen likes Yoshi.

Ageswap Yoshi also doesn't really care that Shen used to date Saki. He knows Shen has a life of her own, and that life includes ex-partners. Mostly he's just shocked that this particular asshole he's dealing with is her ex. At most he's like "??? him???", and June signs "Shen, you can do so much better."

(Saki, who is still there, shouts: Hey!"

Mayday: Oh shut up, hot topic!")

Yoshi's main issue with Saki is him being from the Foot Clan, who are trying to kill his uncles, and then the fact Saki is just kind of an asshole. Splinter wants to smack that smug look off Saki's face, possibly by slam dunking him into a trash can.

Besides, it takes Yoshi a long time to realise he has a crush on Shen to begin with and after he figures it out, he's chill with the idea of her dating someone else. His reasoning is mainly: a) he doesn't want to confess and put on any pressure on her or make things weird between then, b) he doesn't want to mess up their friendship, c) it's not her fault if he's too much of a coward to tell her how he feels.

He also assumes she doesn't feel the same way (tbh, the idea that anyone could love him romantically just does not occur to him.)

Unfortunately for the rest of the ageswap kids, Shen does like him back, but is also worried about ruining their friendship. The first person Shen talks to about her crush on him (whilst said person knows the full situtation re. mutants) is June. Whilst Shen is marching up and down, panicking and coming up with worst case scenarios, June is burrying her face into her hands. She pretends to be shocked. When Shen says he knows Yoshi doesn't feel the same way, June's eye starts twitching. Never before has she been more thankful that Kirby just asked her out.

The only person who is enjoying watching the Yoshi/Shen slowburn is Mayday, who lives for drama.

Shadow thinks her brother should just talk to Shen. She knows April, Donnie and Casey didn't get together until they'd known each other for at least five years. The idea of having to put up with these two sighing whistfully at each other, and staring sad but adoringly when the other isn't looking for another five years does not appeal to her. Shadow is hoping that they're more like Raph and Mona.

[writer-sedai]

(major spoilers through book 4 of Wheel of Time and the latest episode)

My only problem with Suian's stance in 2x07 is that it's now the one the Tower has always believed, and the reason that why what Moiraine and Siuan were doing would be considered treasonous - the Tower wanted to keep Rand under lock and key until the Last Battle while they believed that he had to be allowed to roam free and fulfill the Prophecies in order to actually be READY for the last battle.

It makes a ton of sense that Siuan is panicking about the likelihood of their plan succeeding in the light of the news she's just received - two of the strongest Forsaken are walking again (she doesn't even know yet that one had struck up a relationship with Rand!), Rand has been left to wander on his own, and Moiraine no longer has access to the One Power and any way to reasonably control him. They do need to recoup and come up with a new plan of attack (something Moiraine has been staunchly pretending is not necessary) or else they could end up being responsible for losing the Last Battle. That's a lot of pressure!

HOWEVER - her now believing that the Tower's way is the right way feels like too much of a swing in the other direction, especially given that Suian's knowledge of the Dragon Reborn and her approach to containing him is a large part (I'm pretty sure, anyway) of why she later ends up deposed. With this twist in Suian's beliefs now, how are they going to pull off the coup in season 3?

Anyway, instead of immediately crying "character assassination!" here are some thoughts about how this could still work:

1) Suian's been Compelled - I've seen this theory raised and think it holds merit, despite some people thinking it would weaken the appearance of the Aes Sedai's competence (spoiler alert: they're not competent). Most people seem to think Liandrin's the one who's done it which makes sense given her past with Compulsion, but I propose someone else: there's at least one other Black Sister in the Aes Sedai contingent who was shown on screen several times. It's possible that Liandrin was told (by Lanfear) to deal with Moiraine while Joiya was told to work on Suian.

2) Suian has just spent some time in Caemlyn with a sister who a) holds the belief that Rand should be caged, b) has the Talent of Foretelling, and c) will be raised Amyrlin in her place. What if Siuan witnessed the Foretelling Elaida has that convinces her she must keep Rand close? Or knowledge of one of Elaida's Foretellings (misinterpreted, of course) combined with Moiraine's mishandling of Rand could convince Siuan to try another way.

Since their life's work started because of a Foretelling they overheard, it would be interesting if a different Foretelling puts them at odds.

3) Suian is just purely convinced (either by a Black Sister or one of the many others who end up on Elaida's side of schism without being Dark) that a different approach is needed and bringing Rand to the Tower would give her the time she needs to think of a different solution (though planning to have Rand announce himself in Cairhien means she seems to think the Prophecies can be circumvented - or perhaps she just hopes they can?) We saw in the latest ep that Suian believes her grasp on the Tower and the sisters is much stronger than it actually is.

Regardless of reason, I think it's possible that after Rand does declare himself in Falme, both fulfilling the prophecy, showing off his power, driving the Seanchan into the sea, and hopefully allowing some captured sisters to return to Tar Valon that Suian realises that she was wrong and proclaims it to the Hall.

At this point (since we know it serves the Dark to have an Amyrlin who wants Rand caged) the machinations for her deposition could be put into place and the coup proceeds as it does in the books.

[mummybearmusing]

Realised I never really updated re the chat I had with dad bear in regards to the meeting we were called into at school.

Longgggg update alert ⚠️

So the talk happened a few weeks ago and we talked like an hour.

He didn't directly blame me for anything, when I told him how cub can be he was like I don't know why here he talks himself out of it at his.

* He thinks we were called in so they could tick boxes.

* He thinks home school link worker is saying stuff to make her seem like she's doing her job

He doesn't think teacher shares many of the same another staff member raised.

* He thinks a lot is bs.

* He is adamant cub isn't with him/isn't there/elsewhere like he is with me.

* He said he thinks someone has been putting ideas in his head/words in his mouth because that triangle v thing was so odd a thing to come out with and everyone he spoke to about it said the same.

* He defo wasn't told about theELSA, doesn't even know who she is or why he went to talk to her, it turned out it was actually cubs y4 teacher who suggested it but ELSA was seeing other children last year so it was just a wait list thing.

* He said just because he's not smiling all the time doesn't mean he's always sad either.

* He said if anyone asks anyone repeatedly they're okay maybe they're going to start questioning that maybe they aren't.

* He said cub knows how to call someone in an emergency, even me, if nanny has a fall or what not but they're getting old it's just life (when I suggested maybe he don't wanna be with her cos he's worried she could fall while he's in her care as shes very unsteady on her feet)

I suggested he told me what time he'd be back each time and I'll get him dropped for then

Or

I suggested that I dropped him back at 8 and not 7 Fri/Sat if he DOES have to work any lates.

Or

I also suggested when he finishes not too late he picks him up from mine instead each time, like he's done before (he did a few weeks back but I had the weeks mixed up and he was here to pick him up at half 5 but I thought I was dropping him back at 7..oops..he was in the bath..doh)

* He said nothing regarding us will be like it used to cos he's old enough to understand now and things are so different now.

* He said soon he's gonna want his own life and space and we'll both potentially be rejected within the next few years.

He also said in 10 years time for example we'll barely need to see each other or speak..probably sooner than that.

Plus side of the conversation.. he's still saying same secondary school so I think cub is mistaken about his feeling he keeps having that he wants to move them to his gfs.

Oh he also said he doesn't know what they're going on about his confidence/self esteem for or his emotional wellbeing because if he had issues with any of them

A) he'd have seen it more

B)he wouldn't be able to play rugby and volunteer himself as leader like he did earlier.

C)he wouldn't spot classmates in the park and bolt over to them

And

D)He wouldn't have made friendly with a random kid yesterday in at laser tag because he'd be too shy or withdrawn

I told him the friends to enemies.

I said I know it was never plausible for us to be friends but I wanted to make it clear I've never thought of him or considered him my enemy..without him I wouldn't have our cub and I bloody love that kid.

I told him about kicking off and refusing to move from the bus stop cos he didn't wanna go back and he was like he don't kick off.. I was like I know that which is why I was like wtf and suggested I drop him back either later or straight to him or he gets him from here

If he does it again I'll call dad bear.

Its been suggested by several.

He needs to hear it first hand.

(I don't think he gets the coke bottle analogy or masking)

I suggested he gets the masculine side of our cub because he's his dad bear and maybe he wants to be tough around him and I get the softer more emotional side or his feminine side because I'm mummy.

Maybe it's hormones cos he's that much older now and it could just be he's so tired where he's so busy is what he suggested..didn't suggest a break from anything though.

So big conversation.

Lots discussed and like I said..

I tried.

I put things across.

I stayed focused on our cub.

I was honest

I don't know if anything properly sank in but I definitely took what school said far more seriously.

[rickmandowneyjr]

Eyes of the Beholder

Fluff (thought I should after my first post broke a few hearts lol)

Pairing: Severus Snape x Student!Reader (student is of age)

Prompt: "Severus mistakenly takes a beautification potion meant to make the taker seem extremely appealing/attractive to the people around him and is met with quite the surprise when everyone's stunned at his transformation but one particular student of his doesn't seem to notice any difference in the man." (via@wtchbtchj )

Warnings: none, I think

Word Count: 1238 (I thought of making it longer but I liked this particular ending)

Severus angrily made his way through the halls, his cloak billowing behind him. He had been coughing uncontrollably for the last five minutes due to a prank pulled by the Weasley twins. He obviously wasn't the intended target and had definitely taken away at least 50 points from Gryffindor, but that didn't make him feel any better. Normally, he would just let the coughing stop, but he had a class to teach in five minutes and couldn't risk having to give a free lecture because he couldn't stop coughing.

So he made his way to his stores in search of a cough potion that he knew would be there. He entered the room, looking over to the bunch of potions under 'C'. He picked one up from under the 'cough potion' sub-section and drank it in one huge gulp since he had to rush to his next class. As he stepped out of the storeroom, he realised that his coughing hadn't stopped. He walked back inside and checked the vial's label, his eyes widening as he read what it said.

p.s. - I realise it's in the 'C' section, but 'B' was full."

"Beautification Potion

He pinched the bridge of his nose, mumbling angrily, "This is what I get for making a student organise and do inventory as detention." He took the coughing potion, double-checking the label this time, and made his way out of the room, messing his hair up more than usual, to cover his face.

As he walked towards his classroom, every single person he passed did a double-take and he hated the unnecessary attention. He never was fond of the stares he got from people, ever since his school days. "Why do we have something as useless as that in-store anyway? This is a school," he mumbled under his breath, ranting to himself all the way to his classroom.

As he reached his classroom for his last lecture of the day with the seventh-years, he contemplated whether he should just dismiss class but decided against it. He entered quietly, hoping to not draw attention until he had to speak. However, it didn't work, since the class fell silent as he took a seat, waiting for the last few students to arrive. There was still a minute or two for class to start, but it felt like an eternity to Severus.

You entered the class with a minute to spare, with your head buried in a book. As you crossed Snape's desk, you looked up from your book, greeting him, "Good afternoon, professor," with your signature smile. Snape nodded once, acknowledging you. This time, he was the one to do a double-take as you walked ahead, not paying him any mind. Though a welcome reaction, it was very unexpected.

You took a seat, still lost in your book. 'She's probably too engrossed in the book to notice. I expect her to have the same dumbstruck look on her face when I start speaking and she finally pays attention,' he thought.

As class commenced, you put your book away, looking up at your professor, the same way you did every class. His attention was on you more than usual as he looked very intrigued by your lack of a reaction to his beautified self. You felt flustered under his gaze but managed to keep your composure as you did in any class. Three years of practice had made you quite adept at hiding your crush on the potions master. You noticed the other students look at him like he had two heads, and some were swooning over him. You wondered what the matter was, but brushed it off as unimportant.

As class ended, you were ready to scram, not knowing how much longer you could hide the crimson tint that was threatening to show on your cheeks. You were nearly out the door when you heard his deep voice. "Ms. [L/N], please stay back for a second," he called out. You halted and your classmates gave you sympathetic looks as they walked past you. You turned around to face him, breathing a sigh of relief when you saw that he didn't look mad.

You walked to him, your heart pounding against your chest as you desperately tried to calm yourself down. You were the top in potions class, so you knew that your grades weren't the issue. You wondered if you'd done something in class today that had offended him, but then shrugged that thought away since you hadn't spoken at all, bringing you to the final and most troubling conclusion... he knew. It would explain why he was watching you in class the whole time and you panicked, wondering whether you weren't as good at hiding your little crush as you had thought. However, all your overthinking was forgotten the moment he spoke, making you realise that you were fine.

"Do you notice something different about me?" He asked, not bothering to beat around the bush.

The question left you with a puzzled look on your face since you had never known Snape to be a fan of small talk. You studied him for a second before you answered, "Not really, no."

Snape raised an eyebrow in surprise, making you wonder if you had said something wrong. You sat awkwardly as Snape looked to be deep in thought. He finally spoke after a minute, a smirk gracing his features as he said, "It's just that I had consumed a beautification potion."

Your eyes widened as you realised what you had just implied by saying that you didn't see a difference in him. You coughed, clearing your throat and stammered out a response. "O-oh. I did think that you looked rather charming today. Um... I just didn't know whether- uh... whether it'd be appropriate for me to say that... Yeah! You know... considering I'm a... student."

You squeezed your eyes shut as you thought, 'Smooth, [Y/N]. That was very convincing. You really ought to be a motivational speaker.'

What you didn't know, was that Severus was reading you. A small chuckle escaped his lips as he heard your thoughts. Your head snapped up to look at him. Severus Snape was laughing.

'Oh, that has got to be the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Be still, my beating heart,' you thought and he looked at you with a small smile.

"Thank you, [Y/N]," he said. "You may leave now."

"Oh. Thank you," you mumbled, confused, but you didn't dare question it. You turned on your heel and made your way towards the door, nearly bolting out. As you reached the door, you heard him call out to you once more, and you turned to face him.

"Once you graduate in a couple of weeks, would you maybe... like to get a drink sometime? Just to... celebrate," he said, fighting everything that told him that he shouldn't be saying that.

Your heart was racing as your brows furrowed, wondering if you had misheard the man. "Um... S-sure," you replied, but couldn't help but wonder, "Why did you ask all of a sudden... if you don't mind me asking?"

"Well, let's just say... I think you'd make a great motivational speaker," he said, giving you a wink that made your face flush when you realised that the man was a Legilimens.

"Oh. Uh... Th-thank you," you mumbled as you rushed off. You bumped into the doorway in your frenzy, getting another laugh out of the man as he sat back down.

"Today wasn't so bad, after all," he said to himself, smiling softly.

[fanfiction-artist-prototype]

One of the biggest things that annoys me on a personal level (and not a capitalism consumerism level) about the MCU is that if you're brunt out from the films or you've sat back and realised "Wow... they're really just shitting all over these stories and covering it up with millions in green dotted suits and abuse of SFX crews aren't they?" you're automatically counted in the same basket as 'Marvel Bros'

You know the people I'm talking about; they've never picked up a comic in their life but women have to list like 17 arcs they verify by Wikipedia, the people who sit there and scream about how comic accurate representation is Marvel/Disney vying for woke points -those are the Marvel bros.

And it annoys me that I can't say "I won't be watching the new she-hulk show because it looks atrocious." And be given the time to say that the CGI makes me uncomfortable because it's un-canny Valley esque and that the premise of the show might be based on a actual comic line but it just feels a bit too late to be picking up a "fourth wall break" character after all the multiverse references/use of the multiverse they've thrown in.

Not to mention that it does feel pandering to the people who liked the Deadpool films and that comedic aspect of fourth wall breaking but now with... MCU "he's behind me isn't he"/"on your left" humour. This is purely subjective on Mt part and I recognise that She-Hulk has always been a fourth wall break character and I do love her in the comics but MCU writers don't know what comedy is.

You can't say you don't want to watch it because it looks atrocious because Marvel fans are in three camps.

A: Marvel Bros.

These guys think everything is for woke points and if it doesn't appeal to them sexually or in a power fantasy way its woke and stupid.

So you can't provide actual reasons to rhem because they'll just go "Well why did we even NEED a FEMALE hulk!? Fucking woke bullshit!" and any actual reasons you have will fly so fast over their heads the Guardian of the Galaxy writers will get in another Drax joke.

B: We know but we're ostriches.

This group are the people on the verge of burn out, who have turned liking MCU films into a part of their core personality and so NEED to watch the next one even if they know all the issues surrounding it, even if they're disappointed or hell even anxious about what's next and how the drop off in quality is going to look next phase with more production that should be feasible.

But they're a MCU fan so they put their head in the sand and they know what you're saying but they can't acknowledge it because then a part of their personality is gone then.

And C.

C: Marvel suckers.

These are the ones that as soon as you mention not liking the films they're screaming about you being a marvel bro. Don't like the look of she-hulk? Mysonginst.

Black Panther was an alright film but didn't really capture you the same way say the Avengers did? Racist.

Thought that Endgames solution and explanation of timeliness made NO fucking sense and can even point out glaring potholes in Dr Strange's logic and his decision and how it then contradicts with future films? You just don't UNDERSTAND, you weren't paying attention. If you give Marvel more knew and watch their spin offs and mini series and not Canon amendments we all take as Canon to fill the void in our hearts, you'll actually understand its not a plot hole its a different timeline even though timeline branches as explained in the movie don't work this way.

And it just... MCU films are nothing more than CGI hotmesses designed to suck any joy and love that was put into the original project and it makes me so mad you can't criticise them online without being a massively "anti-progressive" fan.

On that note I hope people finally fucking stop saying "you just hate the left" when people criticise the MCU for attempting to make the Hydra Steve Rogers arc into a film. Wherein the character all these men and boys have been told is a role model will be shown as a literal nazi worldwide at a time where anti-semitism and facism is rising. Its disgraceful enough that Marvel defiled the character made by two Jewish men and made him a nazi for story purposes but to do that and try and get the storyline green lit for a film at a time where fascism is on the rise is disgraceful.

[rsmrymnt-tea]

okay i think this ask might be a bit long so beware uh. so honestly i'll read anything with dola! i love the way you talk about things and i find dola super interesting (and whenever there's a readmore on your posts i'm like *happy wiggle* coz that usually means there's more to read ahh!)

in terms of specific stuff i'd want to see:

dola's relationship to the cast. like you said you haven't talked much about her relationship to the cast. we know where she ends up with satan and solomon, and I think you've said she doesn't like mammon all that much and that's kinda it. and like the details of the relationships: even if they aren't close/don't get on what do they do when they hang out? how likely is she to do a favour for the person? what moments shape how she feels/sees them?

divergences from canon. i'm super intrigued by these! if she's not getting on with mammon then does that mean he's not involved in helping her make pacts? oml you said the tsl quiz doesn't work for dola, are there any others? how does she make her pacts? is the order different coz she's closer to satan? and you mentioned her returning to the og timeline in lesson 16 i'm really down to hear more details about that! oh and the sorcerer trials? i think you said you weren't too satisfied past the first trial?

emotional stuff. so i have realised that the dola in my head is kind of apathetic and i think it's because you haven't talked too much about her emotions in regards to different things? i get she's like, not keen on letting people see that sort of thing but that doesn't mean she's not feeling it right? like there are probably times when she's like desperately trying to cry in front of everyone because something just pressed the wrong button or times when she's just absolutely over the moon about something no?

and connected to that is relationship stuff! (do dola and satan have a ship name?) i wanna know when she developed a crush on satan! i wanna hear the details of confessed first and what was said. first kisses and first dates! you've talked about how you think there would need to be conversations about satan's wrath and how to deal with it (and perhaps a few other things?) and i really wanna know how you think those happen!

and also if you wanted to put a bunch of miscellaneous ideas together that you want to share about her and how your version of om is that'd be really cool.

i don't think i said at the top so, these are just suggestions coz you asked what i might like to see! there's no pressure for you to do any of this, it's just stuff to think about!

Anon????? Nonnie???? Oh my fucking god I didn’t expect to get this asdgfjhsdgjh I’m legitimately going to cry, you’re so interested and invested asdfjhsdgf I Don’t Even Have The Words what the fuck??? I had to get up and walk around for a bit but in a good way because you’ve also been paying attention to the shit I’ve been saying on here ehksdhgksfdgkjkdfksdfhf I Am Going To C o m b u s t 🥺😭😭

I’m definitely gonna slowly work on these because I feel like the only way I’m ever going to finalize anything is if I actually put it out here? I actually have this long, long Notion page that’s like almost 6k words long that’s just me trying to sort out her canon—from what’s going on in her life before she’s brought to the Devildom up until the equivalent events of Lesson 27 or whichever is the one where canon MC snaps and uses that stupid ‘stay’ command for the first time. So uh… Pretty much everything you brought up is definitely being pondered over and written and workshopped and rewritten for the past few months asdkfhsakjdg

I guess I’ll talk about her emotional stuff first this one? :0 Since that’s pretty important but I haven’t really had that chance to show more than her being annoyed and amicable but a little distant?

(Oh!! And the Lesson 16 bullet points are here under the cut and it’s also a long read sdkjgshg sorry I just… I don’t know how to make things shorter??)

This ended up being more of a challenge to put into words than I thought omg

So like she’s definitely feeling feelings, for sure! I honestly think she feels things kind of intensely, she’s just good at hiding them or setting them aside for later depending on the situation. Partly because she has walls up for the unfamiliar and unsure, and partly because if she starts feeling too much she cries. >.>

So big yeah on the times when she feels like she fucked up and is just keeping it together so she doesn’t make the situation worse. It happens a lot more than she’d like because she’s honestly pretty hard on herself whenever she makes mistakes or takes one try too many to get something right.

(An aside; I like to think that’s part of why she agreed without hesitation to formally apprentice under Solomon once she got the Ring of Light—she trusts that he won’t suddenly turn and give her shit for not being a perfect student like so many of her previous mentor figures, plus he’s gentle and supportive as a mentor.)

Also I know I’ve sort of written her to seem somewhat apathetic and incredibly private about her life, but when it comes to her feelings she doesn’t really hide those away as intensely as she does factoids about herself. I think she’s okay with her emotions shining through, they’d just be much more subdued with someone she’s unsure of as opposed to if she were with someone she was much more comfortable and familiar with. In my head it’s supposed to be chill and a bit reserved as opposed to outright cold and distant? And when she warms up to you, she really does warm and loosen up.

(Like if someone she was just getting to know gave her a flower, she’ll accept with a smile... And perhaps wonder if they’re trying to get something out of her because that’s the kind of treatment she’s used to. But if it were someone closer to her, like maybe Asmo or Satan, she’ll softly gasp, grin and giggle a bit as she accepts it, knowing that there aren’t any bad intentions behind the act?)

And while she wishes she could just let go of those old habits, they’ve honestly served her well throughout her life. Plus she’s can’t really help but be somewhat on guard when she meets new people, so yeah.

Without those walls, she lets loose more and expresses herself more freely. A little animated, and even affectionate. There isn’t much reluctance to show everyone how she really feels, and even when she wants to hide something away, it’s always clear in her eyes because part of her does actually want you to know that you’ve hurt her or that she’s sad. She likes being open! She just can’t bring herself to be like that with everyone.

Though if she really has to keep things under wraps, her absolute determination to get the job done takes over and she becomes much, much better at hiding those feelings again unless it’s really a Lot to deal with.