#but she wants to avoid them all if she can. she selfishly wants to live

[isaacathom]

i have so many thoughts about my campaign but absolutely nothing coherent. just snatches of ideas. the most clear thing i have in my head is that, if the acting-commodore steps down once he has liberty, and in the ensuing election and hullabaloo, naielle becomes commodore, there is absolutely no way she comes back from the jade sea

naielle understands how she gets when shes stressed, when theres crisis. theres a point along this bell curve of emotion, pursuant to context, where she stops thinking about herself and only those around her. and once that threshold is passed, she'll do damn near anything for them.

as commodore, her station would necessitate being that much more aware of the crisis. that much more aware of the state of play. that much more aware of the myriad lives that she holds in her hands.

she would cross that threshold far sooner.

she knows this about herself, and it applies outside of formal responsibility. she knows this, and does not know how to change it, and so instead she removes options from herself. like changing the phone's password just before wisdom teeth removal to prevent from saying something nonsensical online, she has to put the weapon away before she becomes of a mind to use it.

she's failed at that before. she told herself the weapon she had would be safe in her hands, that she'd use it only for 'good', and not ill. and in short order she had used it to enthrall, to even temporarily rob a man of free will.

she has such a weapon now. two, even, if you like.

the first, and least likely to kill her outright, is a caged king of dragons, whose essence is hostile to mortality but whose personality is not, who sees the crew as a means to liberate himself, his breathren, and their domain. she uses his power sparingly for its risk, but she's come close before, and been lucky not to be overwhelmed. there is far more power she could gain from him, but it would tear at her from the inside, like a hollowing parasite. she's seen a dragon's power wrought on a mortal, and seen that he marks a man decades older than he ought be. She may be an elf, but even decades would see her predecease a great many people, and that assumes it does not do her worse. She doesn't know.

the second is the offer, if it can be called that, of her patron. reach for the stars, young elf, and find the divine. channel his power in the storm to banish the dark, and in so doing lose yourself. merge with the celestial. its death, she thinks when out of crisis. sure, theres a lingering of the soul, bound in the eternal starlight of the astral sea. but the form is gone, and much of the person. to merge with him would change her, and she would never see her loved ones again.

but his power could save them all.

a naielle who is mere captain, whose responsibilites are smaller, who is delegated specific tasks, has the capacity to decide to be selfish. she has the capacity, and the excuse perhaps, to decide that she refuses godhood. she can risk success for her own soul, if she likes. she may yet do so.

a naielle who is commodore, and for whom's patron remains in earshot, will take that weapon and point it at their ultimate foe, and consider one life worth thousands.

[grimrester]

i love farcille but i have Thoughts

i don't think marcille is even close to accepting any romantic feelings towards OR from falin by the end of the manga, or even in the supplemental comics set after the manga.

marcille has huge issues and misconceptions around age. part of her still sees falin as the young girl she met in school. when she hears about falin and laios's parents' age, she immediately calls them "those kids." she's objectively wrong here, but her perception of time and maturity is totally warped. she uses her own numerical age as a benchmark for maturity - with her own current age representing "totally 100% mature." anyone younger than her is "a kid." this is completely flawed thinking in two ways. firstly, half-elves age differently and inconsistently, so her numerical benchmarks don't make sense for literally any other race. secondly, marcille is NOT MATURE.

she spends half the manga whining about what she has to eat to survive. she repeatedly endangers her teammates to selfishly prove her worth. she clings to doing things by the book to the detriment of her own growth and her relationships with other people. she pouts when people don't want to do things her way. hell, just in day-to-day personal interactions, falin is more mature than marcille by a long shot. and yet she sees herself as more "adult" than falin.

falin, who understood early on that her parents did their best to protect her with the resources they had, even if they didn't always communicate it well. falin, who rejects shuro's second attempt at a proposal with such nuance, kindness, and grace that he smiles afterwards. falin, who withstood bullying from her peers at school and from adults in her village for years and came out of it with kindness that can exorcize zombies with a hug.

in order to accept any feelings she has for falin or vice versa, marcille would first have to recognize that falin is not a child compared to her. and there are times she comes close. falin, in her eyes, is almost superhumanly kind to the point of near worship. but she still sees falin as silly or childish because falin doesn't make the same practical choices that marcille would. ironically, those choices are typically driven by falin's kindness or love of all things living. and falin is too conflict-avoidant to tell marcille directly that she's wrong.

i don't think that a romance is impossible between them, though. i think it'd just take either emotional growth on marcille's part, or possibly even growth on falin's. while falin canonically doesn't push back on marcille's assumptions at all, she's also not so passive that she couldn't ever push back. we see pretty early on in the story that she's willing to hurt others if it means protecting her friends, she'd just prefer not to. i could see a situation arising where marcille makes selfish or damaging choices and falin has to put her in her place about it, and marcille finally comes to a revelation about her own or falin's maturity.

from there i think would essentially be an emotional floodgate. the groundwork for her having feelings is there, as they're obviously very affectionate with each other, but the revelation "falin is not an ickle babby i have to look out for" would have her recontextualizing a lot of their interactions. marcille would have to spend a while wrestling with suddenly feeling "wrong" about sharing a bed with falin, something she used to do easily. when falin gets cuddly, she'd struggle with the feeling of "this used to seem platonic to me but now it doesn't."

actually, it'd probably be a lot like realizing you're a lesbian and that your relationship with a friend was kind of weirdly homoerotic, and not knowing if that was "okay" or not.

[dreaisgrayte]

Under the Goddess' Veil [TEASER]

A/n: This fic was a tad bit spur of the moment to take a break from rewriting some of Lady of Amberguard. Turns out I really like the idea and haven't been able to stop writing on it for 2 days. I will say this will be a bit of plot in the first 4 or 5 thousand words but from then on...dear Lord forgive me for the absolute FILTH I have planned.

Description: I'll give a silly one for right now, basically a maiden gets sacrificed to 5 dragons and a lot of fucking happens. The end.

Pairings: Obanai Iguro, Sanemi Shinazugawa, Giyuu Tomioka, Uzui Tengen, and Kyojuro Rengoku x reader

ENJOY!

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“I was supposed to be sacrificed to you for the honor of my village…” You trail off, trying to connect the dots. You glance in the direction of Sanemi, his usually stern eyes softening when they connect with yours. “Are you going to eat me?” Your words sound pitiful, like you had accepted that fact already – and you had. You’d be raised on the single constant that you would be fed to the Gods atop the neverending tips.

Uzui appears in front of you, a lazy smirk playing with his lips as he leans down to be eye level with you. “Not in the way you’re thinking.” He purrs, rolling his smirk into his mouth.

Kyojuro pushes forward, his long hair whipping in the wind Obanai was still creating. “Your humans assume when we request a maiden to be given to us that we would feast upon her supple flesh,” He sighs, looking at Obanai as he speaks. “Every century our loneliness becomes unbearable. There was the occasional soul that attempted to harm us, wanting to take the hoard for themself, but that didn’t last long. Other draconics would visit us, but some of them would fight for our territory.” Your eyes are drawn to Sanemi again and his plethora of scars. He avoids your gaze at all costs, he finds the outer wall of the cave particularly interesting.

Kyojuro continues with a solemn smile. “Then one day a beautiful woman found her way into the lower tunnels. She came begging us to help her village, people were sick – dying. She was ready to give anything to us for the sake of the people.”

Uzui, who is leaning against the wall, pipes up again. “So she gave us her body.” Your brows knit together. Her body? What exactly did that mean? Kyojuro shoots him a glare before setting himself in front of your gaze, staring into your eyes.

“The women before you were scared, frightened of the big bad monsters within the Ponorich peaks. Most of them tried to escape with no avail…they would get lost and starve or stay within our sight and do the same thing. There were others that would find our hoard and selfishly conspire to harm us to take it.” Kyojuro’s eyes are bright swirls. “We want a mate, a bride.” Bride…you had dreamed about a day adorned with joy once. It had been a quick thought, squashed by the reality that you understood from a very young age. Though, now perhaps you could live the life that had been taken away from you.

The wind dies down and you quickly look behind to find Obanai stepping onto the edge in a graceful manner. He nods his head at you, an ethereal glow still present in his eyes. It made your stomach dip in the strangest way. "You can have one of us,” He waves his arm to the group of men, their eyes trained on you. Obanai steps forward, picking up your hands softly. You peer at him through your lashes. “Or all of us." He finishes. A distinguishing feeling glides through your very being. Something that tells you if you were going to die for the village the least you could do was live for them.

"I-I'd like to have all of you..." You stammer, your confidence dropping with every second. When did you decide to become so brazen? Here you were, a maiden surrounded by five men that surely looked upon you with heat and desire.

"Are you sure you can handle that little doe? Becoming the wife of five hungry dragons isn't going to be easy. You will ache when you are without us and you will ache when you are with us." Giyuu coos, placing a hand on your back. It sends licks of warmth that jolt to where you had never been touched.

“You will become ours in every way possible.” Uzui is now to your other side, hand upon your waist. “We will take you whenever we want,” A piece of hair falls to the side of his ear, distracting you for a moment until he brings your gaze back to him with fingers under your chin. “And you can take us whenever you want.”

Kyojuro hangs his arms around your shoulders, placing himself square behind you. The thin material of your slip does nothing to hide the warmth radiating off the man. “When our heat occurs you will have to be careful. One of us may ravish you and then two more join in.” He nudges your head with affection and your stomach stirs.

“Are you willing to make sacrifices?” Sanemi asks, still standing a few feet away from the huddle the rest of them had now created around you.

“I was raised to do so.” You reply, a confident nod moving your head.

[creepy-friday]

Creepypasta Mansion Headcanons

Warnings: misogyny,suggestive themes,violence,mental illness and drugs mentions

Slenderman

I see Slenderman as an entity who uses his power to control more and more of the human world,but at the same time I can still see some sort of "humanity"

He took in Sally because he felt pity for her and treated her as his daughter after all,so I believe there are still some feelings underneath all of this darkness

Using and desposing residents is no strange occurrence to him,yet he is able to form bonds with them and see them as more than possessions and valuable minions

Because of this,there are definitely exceptions on who he decides to kill and who he decides to punish and to what degree.The others have an idea who is more favoured than the other

Cody

he's fresh meat,new to the proxy team,yet he's already pissing the living hell out of Masky

Cody's skills sure can be a threat to the power hierarchy among the proxies,altough he would selfishly want more he won't get promoted solely because you're already all the team needs Slendy's words,not mine

He has a special sibling-like relationship with Toby,at first he looked up to him as a mentor but now he became a little cheeky shit and wants to overpower him,kinda like how smaller siblings would want to do

He's also in the lab 80% of his working time,so no one really sees him that often which means he has time to do and clean up the messes he does with his chemicals

Cody is no longer the loser everyone in his life assumed him to be.He has power and became mentally and physically way stronger,it's only normal for him to want to be seen as the bigger/stronger person,the one who can finally protect what he loves do what you want with this information

Toby

Mister insecurity himself.He was bullied outside of the mansion and now he's bullied by slightly more deranged and dangerous motherfuckers.I feel bad for him to be honest

I believe the residents choose to keep their memories or not(or they are punished to lose them and have to work to get them back)from before they were abducted in the mansion,but Toby choose to lose a part of them and now he feels bad for it,especially because he cannot truly remember his sister's face

He believes he was a coward because of this and now he does everything in his power to prove to himself otherwise,but the constant toxic environment doesn't really let him to

Even if he is allowed to go to town he might lose his control and that isn't really good for him and his "work".He cannot be with people and cannot be alone,except some emo moments from him

Yeah,he was fucked by Natalie a couple of times when he was sort of new in the mansion,but nothing too serious happened between them.Now he resents and slut shames her but never to her face,he's kinda afraid of her lol

Clockwork

she has no shame whatsoever,would talk the dirtiest pornographic/goriest content over breakfast like it's the morning news

I headcanon her as a chaotic bisexual

There are reasons why she's here,so she's not all sweets and roses.She slept with Toby and made his mommy issues worse.After she got bored of her boy toy she ditched him and now they have this "bad blood" with each other

She was lonely but Toby had too many issues and she really needed someone to improve her,that's why they are now not in the greatest terms

She doesn't like Nina because Jane doesn't like her,it's kinda like how your best friend has beef with someone and now you have it too

I see her,Jane and Liu being mostly seen together because they tend to get along really well.She's definitely the glue that keeps the group together

Jane

strong woman.Definetly uses way too much perfume so her presence is always known,it's her assassination signature

Altough Clockwork puts on a strong and confident demeanor,Masky would avoid Jane the most she gives him the creeps

The reason she doesn't like Nina it's because of her past involving Jeff,she would never forgive her bad decisions.She surprisingly gets along with Liu because of his cool demeanour and his ability to calm her down

In terms of Sully,she actually is the one to mellow him down

She observes a lot and doesn't talk much,I see her listening to goth music in her room while she reminisces over her past life

Jane either ignores or gets extremely violent with Jeff,but all of the aggression is MOSTLY started by Jeff

Liu

he's a sweet guy.He's the calm after the storm while Sully is most like the actual storm

I see Liu having trust issues and would need a while to get intimate with someone,he labels himself demisexual, much to Sully's disapproval since he puts his dick into anything that has a hole

He's the only friendly face you would see when you need one

Liu has strong opinions and moral codes despite his work,I headcanon him as a feminist tbh

You will know when Sully takes over,even tough he likes to pretend he's still Liu for personal reasons, the eyes never lie ("the eyes chico,they never lie")

Jeff

he definitely has issues but he loves himself

don't let this ass fool you,if you go trough all the layers you will witness mister insecurity 2.0

uses his looks to his advantage.Jumpscares people,tries to overpower them,eats only gym shit and he's blasting metal everytime he works out

this guy loves when women fight,finds it especially amusing whenever Clockwork starts to fuck up Zero smh

his trauma doesn't justify his actions tough.Everytime he gets bored he goes out and tortures his victims for hours,rapes them,photograph and humiliate them just because he feels like it.

Jeffrey has his moment of question about his morals but he will simply get high and try to puff puff pass these thoughts away

The only person who stands him is Ben,and even if Jeff won't admit it,he's secretly grateful he has someone.Sure,Liu cares about his brother and even if they act as if nothing has happened between them sometimes,he knows that everyone gave up on him.

The tought terrifies and soothes him.He wants to be free and to fuck up even more but at the same time he wants one more chance

sadomasochist

Hold him accountable for his actions.As much as he needs someone to untie his strings he needs someone to further pressure him to do better.

Masky

the amount of times Natalie smacked the table with her palm and made him jump inside is galactic

before you came he definitely TRIED to bang at least one woman in the mansion,all to Jane's utter disgust towards him

I'm sorry your mother didn't tell you she loved you Tim,you don't have to seek approval to every feminine presence you come in contact with

He gets high with Jeff,but do they get along outside of this?Not really,but they are okaish with each other.I would say they are buddies,not really friends

Jane gives him the creeps,it's something about her presence that doesn't allow him to insult her,that's why he decided to avoid her as much as possible

Secretly respects Natalie's strength,wishes to train with her or have a friendly battle but outside the fact that he doesn't really has the chance to,he would be too ashamed if he would lose to a woman lmao

He could overpower her but he's more impulsive while Clockwork can think before she blows a hit

[ashwhowrites]

angst to fluff eddie fic with 12 from the angst prompts and 7 from the fluff prompts plsss❤️

Cannot deny it when you say please! I hope you like this. If it was not what you wanted, let me know so I can rewrite it!!! In order to have a happy ending I tried to make the “no you were too much” more of a happier thing?

“I wasn’t enough for you?” “No, you were too much.”

“You’re the only person I want to spend my life with”

Eddie knew he was heading down a dark path. He lay in his bed, thoughts going into overdrive. He hated himself at times. He felt like a failure at school, going into another senior year. His band was going nowhere, and he didn't have a future set. He lived in a crappy trailer, and he barely had any family. Once he graduated, if he could, everyone would move on with their lives and he would be left behind. And what hurt the most was knowing Y/N would be leaving him behind.

He wasn't sure how he managed to win her over; she was smart, a goddess, and the sweetest person on earth. He was nothing compared to her. He had nothing. She was heading to great things, a bright future in college out of state, and he had nothing. He already knew she was going to venture out and make something of herself. She was too good for him even now. He couldn't imagine how much more he didn't deserve her when that happened. The final days of senior year were coming, and they had been waiting for that letter from New York to see if she had made it in. Selfishly, he's hoping it's a no, so he can keep her just a little bit longer.

Before he knew it, his alarm was blaring. He realized he did not even get a blink of sleep, staring at the ceiling all night long. He slowly got up and got ready for school. He headed to his girlfriend's house with a heavy heart and a frown. A frown, she picked up right away, "What's wrong baby?" Even her voice was perfect. "Nothing, baby." He was not going to do this before school. She needed to focus on the school day ahead of her. They could talk about it later.

 Once the final bell rang, they were in his van once again, parked in her driveway. "Okay Eds, something is wrong? You've been quiet all day. " Before he had a chance to answer, he was breaking down. She gasped at his sudden sobs, and she quickly unbuckled and hugged him across the console. It hurt even more. She was always there to take care of him, something he'd never be able to do for her.

His next words felt like venom traveling through his throat; "I think we need to break up."

She went frozen. Her arms went dead around his body, which was still shaking with sobs. She pulled away, confused, "Baby what?" "No, why?" He hated that her voice cracked. He refused to look up. If he saw her crying, he'd snap and beg her to love him forever. But that wasn't fair to her. She needed to move on and be free, free from his baggage. "Answer me." But he couldn't. His voice was gone, and all he could do was cry and avoid her as if she didn't exist.

 "Eddie, fucking answer me," she yelled, irritated. Her voice was laced with anger, but he could tell she was hurt. "Can you even tell me why?" " Or look at me?" she spat at him. She needed some type of reaction from him, but he was giving her nothing. "You are an asshole and a coward." And with that, she slammed his door and marched into her house. Once the front door slammed, Eddie looked up. A closed door separated them, but it felt like so much more was in between them. The biggest thing was Eddie's insecurity.

~~~

The next few days were awful for both of them.

Y/N cried herself to sleep every night, and it showed every morning. Robin hugged her the second she heard about the breakup. Robin vowed to stay next to Y/N the whole day so she wouldn't have to feel alone. The one good thing was that she didn't interact with Eddie. He didn't bother to show up, which angered her. He had the nerve to break her heart, not tell her why, then not bother to show up to school like he was the one who was hurt.

Eddie felt even worse. He thought it would be better for them, but he had never felt so heartbroken before. He told Wayne he was sick, which he didn't have a question about seeing as Eddie looked like shit. He strummed his guitar and looked around his room. His fingers froze over the strings when his eyes locked on a polaroid. He got up and walked closer to it. It was a picture of Y/N and him on one of their dates. The group went rollerskating. Jonathan was back from California to visit and took a photo of them as they held hands at the claw machine. The photo showed their hands intertwined as Eddie was trying to win a bear. The bear lies on his bed—black, with a white snout—in a leather jacket. He won it for her, but she refused to take it. saying that the bear was Eddie's style and needed to be with him every night. He didn't admit it to anyone, but he stole her perfume and sprayed it on it. He cuddles it close and smells it before he drifts off to sleep. Now the smell made him sick to his stomach and tears formed. It had been two days since he'd seen her, and it felt like forever. He fucking missed her, but it was his fault and he needed to stay strong for her sake.

When they reached the one-week mark of no interaction, Dustin had enough. He loved her and he loved Eddie, and seeing them both heartbroken hurt him. He was pounding on Eddie's door relentlessly. He heard feet stomping towards the door, and it swung open angrily. "What?" Eddie barked. Dustin shook it off and pushed himself into the trailer. "Come on in, I guess," he huffed.

"Okay, talk to me. What's up with you two? Why are you both devastated and sad? " Dustin asked, he was going to fix this.

"Nothing, Dustin, we just need some time apart." Eddie answered as he walked back to his room, the young one following close.

"Why? You guys never need space. You guys are like perfect." He explained his confusion.

Eddie couldn't stop thinking about how she was crying when she ran into her house. "Is she okay?" He asked quietly. His heart broke when Dustin quickly shook his head no.

"She's heartbroken, Eddie. She's confused, lost, and upset. You didn't tell her anything. "She doesn't think you love her anymore." Eddie's eyes widened at that.

"That's ridiculous. I love her too much. That's the problem. "he scoffed, but Dustin always had the right answers. "How can she know that if you didn't tell her?"

Eddie was quiet. He knew he was right. He didn't tell her anything, so what else was she supposed to think? He felt even worse now. She was probably sitting in her room crying because she thought he didn't love her anymore.

Y/N was cuddled up in her room, wearing an old hoodie of Eddie's. She needed to feel him somewhere. She hated that he was her main source of comfort and she couldn't run to him. He didn't want her anymore, and he didn't love her anymore. Her college acceptance letter lies open on her dresser. No excitement filled her as she read the words. New York wasn't important to her anymore. Eddie was her future, and that's all she wanted.

"You got in," His voice came out of nowhere. She jumped up from her bed, shock written on her face. There he was, standing in her room. His hair was pulled back, the way she loved it. A lose shirt and sweats were hung on his slender body. She despised how good he looked, but she could see his eyes were puffy, red, and covered in dark circles. He looked like a kicked puppy.

"Um yeah. I guess I did. " 

"You don't sound too happy about it." He answered back as he sat next to her. He knew he didn't have the right to touch her anymore, but he couldn't stop himself being this close to her. He grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles. He hummed at the softness of her hands. Her eyes closed softly at the comfort. But her heart hurt knowing he wasn't hers anymore.

"Not really as excited anymore," she murmured, He could not help but say, "Don't do that, baby, not for me. You were so excited to apply." He hated that he was ruining this for her.

She didn't care to talk to him about New York; she wanted answers. “I deserve to know why I wasn't good enough for you anymore." His heart broke into thousands of pieces. Dustin was right.

"No, that's not it. You were too much. You are way too good for me. I do not deserve you in the slightest way. I'm a failure, baby. I have no future ahead of me and you have big dreams. I can't hold you back from that. " She wanted to slap him, so she did, softly on the hand.

He was taken back by the small slap, and a small laugh left his lips; "what was that?" He said it reminded him of when a kitten swats at the air. “You are not a failure, stop being so hard on yourself. And second, for making this choice for me. I never feel like you are holding me back and it is so unfair that you forced that decision on us without talking to me. " He nodded. She was right. If he had just talked to her, no harm would have been done.

"I'm sorry for making you think you weren't good enough. I love you so goddamn much and it scares me. You're the only person I want to spend my life with," he said softly. She smiled at his confession and kissed his hand.

"Well, that's good because when I applied to New York, I contacted some local producers and sent in your work. They want to meet you the second we fly in. " His head wiped up at her words. "Wait we?" He asked. She laughed.

"Did you really think I was going to leave without the love of my life?" She asked with a teasing smile. He could not hold back his tears at that.

"I don't even know what to say." He was so touched. He was always left behind, a second thought to everyone, but here she was. She planned her future and worked his future into it. She wanted him around and wanted him around forever.

"Well, you could say thank you." She teased again. Eddie practically threw himself into her arms, smashing his lips into hers with every emotion he had in him. He was so grateful for her love. And now he had a future ahead of him, a future with her.

[deus-ex-mona]

just a tl of mona's q&a from her summery! photobook~~

Q1: Please introduce yourself.

A: I’m mona, a High School student and an idol. It’s nice to meet you!

Q2: What is something that you’ve been hooked on lately?

A: Trying out different foods! As you can see from a couple of the pictures in my photobook, I love to eat shaved ice with tons of fruits on it. I plan on trying shaved ice topped with lots of mangoes next time.

Q3: What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?

A: I stretch out, just like a cat does. My body is all stiff when I wake up, so stretching feels great. I recommend that you guys do it too!

Q4: What is something that you always carry with you?

A: Lip balm, I guess. As I’m an idol, I’d like to avoid having dry lips if I can help it!

Q5: Do you collect any items?

A: I collect goods of idol girls. Whenever I attend their concerts, I buy at least 10 random bromides, though I’d buy 20 if I can afford them! Also, I have all the CDs of the idols I follow!

Q6: What is your favourite ride at the amusement park?

A: The roller coasters! Like the ones that make you scream a ton, I guess. But that bungee jump that I did on that one TV show was pretty scary~.

Q7: What would you say your strong point is?

A: The flexibility of my body, I guess. I train my flexibility every day for the sake of my dances.

Q8: What is something that you are unable to deal with?

A: I can’t stand horror stuff all that well. Though, I’m the type of person who’d become composed when I’m with someone who’s more scared than me.

Q9: What would you do if you had 5 more hours in a day?

A: I’d play games! I’ve been hooked on a dating sim these days… It’s so much fun that the hours just fly by. I wanna romance all of the targets someday. Ah! I’m not betraying all of my fans with a boyfriend, or cheating on you guys or anything! I promise! This is just a really fun game! I mean it! Please believe me!

Q10: What would you do if you turned into a cat?

A: I’d want to bother my owner! Cats will be forgiven if they selfishly plead for attention, won’t they? I wanna be spoiled a ton too!

Q11: At what point during your Summer vacations would you usually finish your homework?

A: I’d try my best to do my homework on the first day of Summer vacation, but the end of the break always arrives before I know it. So I alwaaays end up barely finishing my homework in time…

Q12: Are anniversaries important to you?

A: Not really~. But maybe I just don’t know cuz I’ve never wanted to fall in love! The birthdays of my family and friends are really important to me, though.

Q13: Do you wait for the entire recommended duration before eating your cup noodles?

A: Nope. I like my noodles firm! Plus, the noodles will soften while I’m preparing my meal afterwards anyway.

Q14: If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be?

A: I wouldn’t change anything. Everyone loves me just the way I am after all! …I sure said a really embarrassing cheesy line there, ehehe.

Q15: What would you do if the world ended tomorrow?

A: I’d hold a concert! I’d want to have fun with everyone till the very end.

Q16: What would you do if you turned into the opposite gender for just one day?

A: I’d want to tease my Big Sis, I guess. She’s so pure that I think it’d be really fun to tease her. I wanna make her heart pound!

Q17: What is a must-buy for you at convenience stores?

A: Ice cream! There are new kinds of ice cream every time I go. It’s the best~.

Q18: What gestures could a member of the opposite gender do that would make your heart skip a beat?

A: Eh, lemme think… Maybe my heart would pound if I saw him enjoy a delicious meal? Like the other day, my heart pounded as I watched this boy from the same batch as me eat cream puffs. No, maybe the sight of a boy who loved sweets was just so cute that my heart skipped a beat… I don’t really know for sure!

Q19: If you could live in a fictional world from either a book, TV show, or a movie, what kind of world would it be?

A: I’d want to live in a world where I could use magic. I still dream of flying to the skies on a broomstick with the use of magic.

Q20: Do you think aliens exist?

A: I think they do! The thought that there’s a civilisation that’s way more advanced than ours in a galaxy far, far away is pretty exciting, right?

Q21: Which of the four seasons is your favourite?

A: Summer! Be it Summer live festivals, Summer festivals, or Summer vacation, Summer’s full of events, which makes it really great~!

Q22: How would you describe yourself in a single phrase?

A: I hate to lose, I guess.

Q23: What image do you currently have as your phone’s lock screen?

A: Uhh, it’s a photo of my class’s blackboard that has the deadline of my assignment written on it… I’m sorry that it isn’t cute at all… But if I don’t set it as my lock screen, I’ll completely forget about the deadline.

Q24: Who are you good at imitating?

A: I’m great at imitating my Big Sis! But Big Sis is really good at imitating me too, y’know?

Q25: Do you believe in fortune-telling?

A: I’ll believe in good fortunes! But I’ll completely disregard bad fortunes!

Q26: What is something you’re unexpectedly good at?

A: Crane games! I’m great at grabbing plushies from my favourite manga series and such. Even my Big Sis often begs me to help her snag some goodies from them these days! Crane games don’t just hold plushies, they hold sweets and all other kinds of stuff too! I like them cuz they’re really fun to play!

Q27: What is something that you would like to challenge yourself to do in the future?

A: I’d like to write lyrics and compose music! I want to give writing songs by myself a try. I think that there are songs that only I would be able to write in order to convey the feelings to my fans which would otherwise be unable to get through to them. Those are the feelings that I wish to write songs about. So I hope that you’ll continue to keep watching over me!

[ccfever]

unsurprisingly, caitlin was an amazing kisser. she kissed exactly the way you liked it. enough tongue that the kiss was wet and messy in a good way but not too much that it was sloppy or gross. the hand on your neck snaked into your hair to cradle the back of your head. the hand holding your hands down moved to your face. the kiss was slow and sweet but so so filthy in the best way. you pulled back and took in how beautiful she looked. her eyes were full of lust, her cheeks flushed, and her lips were wet from your kiss. she stroked your cheek with her thumb

“let me take care of you” you breathed out “let me make you feel good”

“fuck yes. please” you gave her another deep kiss before sitting up and taking your baggy t-shirt off. you don’t want anything getting in the way of this moment

“i’m gonna go slow so you can relax and take time to enjoy yourself” you gave her a quick peck on the lips before moving to her ear and whispering “and so i have more time to hear you scream” you slowly placed kisses down her neck, careful to avoid marks in case someone recognizes her at the hotel and a picture from vacation gets on the internet. you kissed from the side of her neck to the middle before starting down her chest. the soft moans and sweet whimpers returned. letting the intrusive thoughts win, you moved your head to her underwear waistline and licked from her bellybutton to the middle of her chest. she raised her eyebrows

“i didn’t realize you were an ab licker. you’re dirty as hell”

“if you don’t like anything i do, just tell me”

“i never said i didn’t like it” with that in mind, you licked all the way up her right thigh to the edge of her underwear. she made a noise of surprise, but not displeasure. you moved your head back down to her right knee and gave small light kisses up her thigh. her soft moans and sweet whimpers turned you on endlessly and only encouraged you to continue your teasing. once you got to the top of her thigh, you rubbed your nose against the wet spot (which definitely did get bigger) and licked it. caitlin groaned your name and you swore it was the most beautiful noise you’ve ever heard. it almost made you abandon your plan. almost

instead of eating her out like she wanted, you moved to caitlin’s left knee and started placing small light kisses up her left thigh. if she asked, you would’ve told her you did it to make the payoff better but, selfishly, you wanted to prolong the moment. you weren’t sure you were going to get to touch her again and you wanted to make this last as long as you could. you wanted her soft moans and sweet whimpers to go on as long as possible. when you got to the top of her thigh, you pulled your head fully away from her. she gave you a death stare until you hooked your fingers on the side of her underwear and pulled them off her body. you moved your head back between her legs

“you’re so wet” you teased “is this all for me?” caitlin whined out a yes and you finally put her out of her misery. you licked her pussy and she brought her hands to your head. she pulled on your hair and you yourself let out a moan. caitlin pulling your hair while you ate her out was something you fantasized about for years. it was unbelievable that this was actually happening. you started sucking on her clit and brought two fingers up to her mouth. she was certainly wet enough to take your fingers without it but you’ve wanted her to suck on your fingers forever. yes it was probably too much to have all of these fantasies about your friend but it’s not your fault! she’s too hot. it’s actually her fault you have all these dirty thoughts

as caitlin sucked on your fingers you determined that the fantasy could never live up to the real thing. you pulled your fingers out of her mouth and put them inside her. you curled your fingers up into her as you continued sucking on her clit. you tried to commit her pretty noises to memory as she came closer to orgasm. she groaned your name over and over. definitely the most beautiful noise you’ve ever heard. caitlin came on your fingers and you let her ride out her orgasm. you pulled your fingers out of her and put them in your mouth. she sat up on the bed as you wiped your face. you sat up next to her and smiled

“was that good for you? do you feel more relaxed now?”

“yes that was amazing. can you do something for me? it would really help me relax”

“yes whatever you want”

“let me make you cum” your jaw dropped open and you stuttered a bit

“i-i-i mean if it would help you relax then who would i be to tell you no?” you tried-and failed-to maintain your composure at the idea of caitlin touching you. you were already distractingly wet but just thinking about her touching you sent a new surge of wetness between your legs. she gave you a dirty smile, put her hands on your hips, and tugged at your sweats and underwear

“off” she commanded. awkward nerdy off court caitlin was gone and confident cocky on court caitlin had appeared. you lifted your hips so she could take your clothes off your body. wasting no time, she immediately put her head between your legs. your fingers gripped her hair as you fought the urge to tilt your head back and close your eyes. you wanted the visual of her eating you out seared into your mind in case this was a one time thing. she pulled her head back. her eyes were wide and doe-y and her entire face was wet. fuck

“you’re so wet. is this all for me?” she teased you with your own words and you were too desperate to be cute

“yes all for you. please keep going” smirking and satisfied with your answer, caitlin continued to eat you out. she was fucking relentless as she ate you out with an intensity you’ve only ever seen from her on the court. you tried to hold off your orgasm to savor the moment but she was too much for you

“i can feel you fighting. let go” you pulled her hair as you came all over her pretty face. she sat herself up in front of you and you stared at her in awe. she slowly wiped her face while never breaking eye contact. she brought her fingers between your legs and traced your pussy with them. you inhaled deeply as she brought them to her mouth

“you’re still wet” she said with a dirty smile “what do you want?”

“what do you mean?” maybe it was your post orgasm haze or maybe the question was actually unclear, but you didn’t understand what she was getting at

“i’m going to make you cum again. how do you want it?” any and every way she was willing to give it to you. but you couldn’t be greedy

“let me ride your thigh” years of seeing her gorgeous legs in shorts made the choice obvious. she moved to the headboard, sitting up with her legs spread. you threw your legs over her thigh and lowered yourself down. caitlin’s large hands grabbed your hips and guided you up and down her thigh. you were already so sensitive from your previous orgasm, you knew you weren’t going to last long. you stared at her face as you got yourself off on her thigh. she looked so pretty all fucked out and focused on your pleasure. she flexed her muscular thigh and the sensation went right to your clit. you moaned out her name pathetically

“that’s it baby. cum for me” with another flex of her thigh, you came again with a strangled moan of her name. caitlin giggled as you caught your breath. how can she always be cute and sexy at the same time? she moved her hands from your hips to your face. she sweetly stroked your cheeks with her thumbs

“now i feel relaxed”

good morning

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for kicking my little brother out after a fight?

yes, the title is catching, so bare with me please.

my family and I (19NB) live like cottage core folks. we have separate sheds here and there that are modified to be tiny houses, whilst there are actually 3 houses placed and modified on our land. I switched many houses to find the most comfortable one, and that I have. Our aunt (M, dunno her age) is visiting us currently, and because we have no proper space for her to sleep, she's sleeping with my mother (R, mid 50s) as her husband (C, late 50s - early 60s) is forced to sleep at my house for the time being. There are many reasons as to why I'm uncomfy with this choice, a lot of them are personal, but one that stands out the most is that I'm uncomfortable with sleeping together with other folks, unless I trust them the most. I took some of my belongings to another house, along with one of the wifi motors we use (we have two) and tried to sleep in a house that my brother (N, 18) occasionally visits to cook his food. The first night was doing fine, until the second night kind of got worse, and where I would be called the asshole.

N has level 3 autism, as I have level 2. he doesn't understand not like change, and so do I. I was invading his space where he should be cooking, yet I try not to get into the middle of his process. he noticed I slept there now and decided to force me to cook for him, and I simply calmly told him he could do it himself. that part, I know he can understand, but he chooses not to do so for some benign reason. after trying to bother me several times, he decided to grab my stuff and use them without my knowledge, which quickly made me furious and aggressively told him to get back to whatever he's doing. that wasn't the right thing to do, admittedly, which resulted to throwing a Yeti stainless cup at my head and computer. that was where I drew the line entirely and have forcefully kicked him out of the house where he was cooking, all because he wanted to be rude and abusive towards me.

I called C to handle him momentarily as N was beating on the windows and yelling bloody murder, we were lucky that we didn't live in an urban neighborhood. C accused me for starting all of it when I calmly explained what was happening, and he kindly took it and left me be. on the other hand, R barged in and yelled at me for 1. taking the wifi motor to another house and 2. kicking N out. I was already exhausted and told her the same thing that happened, yet she refused to listen and still has blamed me for the troubles that happened. I told her why I was here, that was not relevant for her at all. I told her I needed space and a place to sleep since the other houses were not best suited for me, that was not relevant either as she looked at me stupid since her two options were let C sleep in her house with M and have R sleep in her car, or have C sleep at my house whilst M and R continue their shenanigans late at night.

not that this is too relevant, but to add damage to the situation is that this has been an occurring thing with how R treats N and I, with no little respect or freedom at all. every boundary that has been established has been either bent far beyond repair or blatantly crossed and ignored selfishly. This is not the first time she's acted this way towards us, and will probably never be her last. Instead of working through the situations that are brought up, she refuses to take accountability and let everything fall into her own hands, which never really works out at the end for everyone.

After the argument, I slept at an old house that was completely trashed, absolutely stunk, and did not feel comfortable at all. I do not have enough spoons to handle this on my own, and I refuse to help my family through the mess to avoid unnecessary consulting and other comments.

I will admit fault about not thinking through this situation, but I still need an opinion on this.

AITA for kicking my brother out for throwing a cup at my head? AITA for trying to find a place to sleep peacefully at my own comfort place?

(paws, in case something happens)

What are these acronyms?

[all-pacas]

Would you elaborate on a Chase in The Good Place AU? It's consuming my brain since you mentioned it and I love your AUs

I mean, mostly just an offhand comment on I'd love to have all of them be forced to attend a Chidi philosophy lecture, because it would be fascinating on so many different levels, right? Or just using the Good Place as a shorthand for "surprise! Your life was meaningless and now you're in hell! Change!"

Foreman and Cameron both seem fairly set and certain of their morals and philosophies, but are in different ways hypocritical and inconsistent. They both think of themselves as good people for sure. And I don't know how much critical self reflection either of them do.

Chase is a bit askew of the two of them, not because I think he's much more self aware, but he's also much more morally vague — he doesn't have a ton of stated values or a strict moral code, I'm not even sure how he views himself, how he'd define himself if asked. Cameron would call herself a good person. Foreman would call himself intelligent, a good person. Would Chase? Not out of some enlightened awareness, but just… everyone on the show thinks he's morally vacant, and he knows it too.

(And that's not even touching House or Wilson in the Good Place. House alone, who studies religion and philosophy and both knows his morals and his code and is incredibly ambivalent and self-hating.)

I mean, they're all going to the Bad Place. I think Chase and House would be the least surprised, on a scale: not happy or accepting, but, you know. Sure. (Especially post S6 Chase. He knows he's off to hell.)

Cameron would be horrified, and outraged. She does so much to help people! She's so nice! I think she overlooks or tries to overlook the harm she causes, the ways she can be cruel: they're accidents. They're unintentional. Intent is what matters, and her intents are always good, or at least: she tells herself that they are. Which isn't true. She can behave selfishly, she can behave unkindly. But it's very important to Cameron that she is a good person, both as something to be and something to strive towards. And she is! She is a good person! She does work hard at it! But I do think she ignores her own failings.

Foreman, for his part, strikes me as a utilitarian — he's done net good, so what does it matter if here and there he's bent a rule or hurt someone's feelings? He probably is the one who lies awake and considers himself and his place in the world and how he's doing and what he's done. He wants to be good, but he also wants to be the best, he wants to be admired. (Him and Amber are the same. If they won't like you, you have to be right.) He wants power, partially because he does have that ego; partially because it's a way of proving himself. On the whole, he is a Good Doctor, he Saves Lives, he Helps People. That should outweigh the people he's hurt or been cruel to. That should matter more.

I don't know what sort of philosophy Chase would best fit with. He falls into a sort of … nihilistic hedonism, almost: enjoying himself and wanting to have fun, but only because he also believes that if he's a burden to others he deserves death; because he's Quite Catholic and just sort of accepts when it's over he's going to hell. So what does it matter, right? If he's fucked no matter what, why not sleep around and having a good time? It's sort of a reflection of his talk with House in Cursed: if caring leads to pain, it's better not to care. If you burden others, you have failed.

So they're all in the Bad Place. There was another bus accident or something. And they get to do the fixed version of the game, reincarnating again and again until they reach enlightenment. Foreman's Bad Place seems pretty easy. He's gotta stop caring so much about the opinions of others, getting his self worth via superiority and praise. Cameron's biggest flaw, I think, is that she avoids the consequences from her actions. Runs away and uproots her life repeatedly; ignores the ways she hurts people or ignores their feelings. In a way she's too empathic: she pushes her own feelings and empathy onto others, and assumes they feel the same way she does, need nothing but what she'd need or want. I'm not sure how to make that her personal hell. Chase? He's again the hardest (after House), because I think he'd sort of just accept he was in Hell and that was that: why try to improve? Why try to change? He doesn't try, that's his biggest problem. We know he's incredibly bright, capable of solving cases on his own from early on, but he never tries (because trying means failing which means disappointing others). He stays with House for years after he should have moved on because it's safer and easier. So that's his personal hell: something to make him need to try, want to be better. Put him in a position where he has to.

[lookingfts]

One of my favorite stories of yours is a place to rest, amongst a multitude of yours that are really just fantastic reads.

How are those two doing today?

Thank you! I can’t believe I wrote that fic almost two years ago. Here’s a little glimpse into them now.

--

She always knew when Anthony had something on his mind. When he was tangled up in an issue at work, or one of his siblings was involved in drama (constantly), or his mum was going through a rough patch. That little dimple would pop in his forehead, his brows furrowed in concentration, his lips pressed together in a thin line.

“Everything okay?” Kate asked, running her hands through his thick hair. Anthony looked up, pressing his laptop closed, and flashed that warm smile that seemed exclusive to her.

Stretching out his hands, he tugged Kate into his lap, and she went willingly, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Yeah. I’m okay. Just thinking.” Drawing little circles on her hip, Anthony took a breath. “I’m glad you’re here, actually. There’s something I need to run by you.”

“Okay.” Even before they’d gotten married and officially merged their lives together, Anthony had sought her opinion on personal and business matters alike. He trusted her to tell him the truth, and even when they disagreed – sometimes passionately – they always managed to find a way forward.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while,” Anthony said, deliberately as though he was searching for the right words. “And I want to buy Journey’s End from your mum when she’s ready to retire.”

The words soaked in slowly, and Kate blinked at him. “What?”

“I talked to Mary about it last weekend. She was thrilled. But I want you to be on board too.” His hand tightened on her hip, his expression so earnest that her heart skipped a beat. “I want it to stay in your family. Our family. Besides, it has sentimental value to me, too. It’s where I fell in love with my wife, you know.”

Kate laughed thickly, remembering the sad girl who hid behind her responsibilities to avoid living. Until a smug, rude viscount happened upon her corner of the world and turned everything upside down.

She didn’t even feel like the same person anymore. Maybe no one had it all, but Kate thought she was pretty close. A challenging but fulfilling career, a strong marriage, a solid relationship with her family. And even more incredible things on the way.

“We’ll hire people we trust to run it,” Anthony said quickly, mistaking her silence for hesitation. “We can be involved as much or as little as you want. Maybe one day our kids will want to be involved.” His hand rested on her stomach, only the smallest curve visible. None of their friends knew yet, and she could tell it was killing Anthony not to shout it from the rooftops. “It wasn’t your dream to run it. And I’m selfishly glad about that. But we could still keep your father’s legacy alive.”

Tears welled in her eyes, beading on her lashes. Kate had never faced a harder decision than walking away from the thing her father had worked so hard for. Accepting that following in his footsteps wasn’t the only way to honor his memory, especially if it was holding her back from what she was really meant to do.

But Anthony was offering her the chance to do both. To live her life in London, with him, while ensuring that her father’s dream wouldn’t fall into the hands of someone else. Someone who would never understand what it meant, would never see all the sweat and tears and love that lived within its walls.

There weren’t many men who would have known how important her father’s legacy was, but Anthony did. He knew better than anyone how badly Kate wanted to do right by him, even after he was gone. Especially after he was gone, and could only live on through her and Mary and Edwina. And, in six months or so, through their child.

“Are you sure?” she asked, tears spilling onto her cheeks now, and Anthony’s face softened as he brushed them away.

“Of course. I’ve already run the numbers on it. Plus, Mary could retire when she wants and not have to feel guilty. She’ll have the money to live off and know that it won’t just get torn down and turned into ugly flats.”

Taking her hand in both of his, Kate pressed a kiss to his knuckles, feeling almost incapable of containing the affection swelling inside her. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

“You’re happy?”

“So happy.”

“Good.” He kissed her, soft and tender, and she knew he felt the same. “I’m dying for chai, want some?”

She chuckled, brushing her nose against his. “Definitely.”

[salty-an-disco]

For ParaCold... Pre-Relationship 6, General 6, General 13, Love 11, Love 13, and/or Domestic Life 12? (Yes I am asking a lot, feel free to only answer one of these if you'd prefer! I just love your thoughts on them always~)

(I freakin' knew you'd come at me with the asking sheet lol /aff /pos)

Ship Questions Redux

Pre-relationship 6. What was their flirting stage like?

Veeeeery awkward. At least from Paranoid's perspective; the moment she started consciously flirting, she felt like a shelf full of glass jars constantly shaking and dropping everything onto the floor. She'd go out of her way to compliment Cold's additions to any convo or their appearance, all while sweating bullets and feeling like a giant fuckin' buffoon.

Cold, meanwhile, never registered anything he did as 'flirting', but when they saw Para actively flirting, it found the sight very amusing, and started going out of its way to compliment her back and even say some suggestive lines (cue Paranoid.exe stopping working and going into overdrive)

General 6. How do their personalities complement each other? How do they clash?

I mean– we already talked about this at lenght like aikskdmdjdmd

Cold is uniquely equipped to help Paranoid calm her nerves and look at situations with a more pragmatic view, while Para can make Cold consider being less reckless if only for other sakes, how they can read each other, the way their actions often clash but also helps them grow– aaaaaaaagggghhhh

General 13. Which one thinks they aren't good enough for the other, if at all?

Oh, they both have their own form of Imposter Syndrome.

Para knows she can unlikable to others, with how intense and inquisitive she can be, and she knows it's hard to approach her when she's already expecting the worst from others. And that's fine!! She can live like that, it's safer if others don't even try to approach cuz she seems a bit too prickly. And she often wonders if Cold would've felt the same if they weren't born from the same being–

Cold knows it's difficult. Knows others find it unsettling or menacing. And it's fine with that, really, it's a flattery that so many people think of it as an uniquely evil being. And Paranoid is no exception, she was definitely afraid of it in multiple occasions, but she still puts it aside to try and work with them. They're sure she wouldn't want anything to do with it if it didn't insistently follow her and got into her personal space, but it selfishly wants her attention. And if they're evil and scary and dangerous anyway, why bother if it's being a little selfish too?

Love 11. What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

I like the idea of Cold calling Para 'Dots' cuz of her plumage patterns. A cuter way to look at the markings that triggers Paranoid so much. She was very taken aback by it when it was first used, but didn't mind it and even came to like it.

I think Para definitely calls Cold some of the many nicknames the others gave her to tease her. 'Cool Guy' is one of her favorites for this. Avoids names like 'heartless' tho, cuz she noticed how those seem to actually get to Cold (it's very subtle, but she learned to read him at this point).

Love 13. How do they make up after an argument? Who is the first to apologize?

Depends on the argument, and how much one was at fault over the other. Para definitely apologizes as soon as she realizes she was being unfair/going a bit too far. Cold doesn't verbally apologize– almost never, but it does change its behavior when they notice how it upsets others and tries to make up for their actions through other ways.

Domestic Life 12. Who likes to dance with, or sing for, the other?

I know many have Cold with good singing voice hcs, but personally, I think he'd rather whistle than sing. And they have a very haunting but weirdly beautiful whistle, and can make many melodies with it. Para finds it weirdly comforting, so Cold will sometimes whistle for her.

[thelampisaflashlight]

The Cloudy Sky to Your Sunny Day Pt. 1

[Sunny has never really had a home before. The Sunny angst I mentioned ages ago. Not suitable for younger audiences.] Below the cut.

It's weird, Sunny feels, watching her pack leave the abbey without her.

She's barely known them more than a year, and yet... they're all she has.

All she really knows.

But that doesn't mean she regrets her decision to stay behind, not even a little bit.

After spending most of her first year on the surface bouncing from city to city, Sunny's ready to see what else life has to offer.

At home that is.

And she's not alone in that regard; Looking over at Aether, who's a little misty-eyed but smiling as he watches their friends leave, at least she knows someone else is in the same boat.

Kind of.

Aether's retirement wasn't exactly planned -he'd be on that bus right now himself if he had it his way- but necessary.

Not long after the first leg of the tour, the older ghoul's vessel had begun to rapidly deteriorate for seemingly no reason at all, resulting in a prolonged stay in the infirmary as the staff worked day and night to determine what, exactly, had caused the once lively ghoul to a shell of his former self.

Omega -Aether's mentor and a senior member of the ministry's medical team- couldn't give an exact diagnosis.

"His condition," he had stated gravely, "doesn't have a name, but it is not uncommon in quintessence ghouls. I, too, developed the same illness at one time."

"He has to rest and avoid overexerting himself... Which means, of course, he cannot go back on tour... In fact, with how weak his vessel has grown, I feel he will need to remain on leave indefinitely."

Sunny watches Aether settle onto the low rock wall surrounding the front flowerbeds, letting out a deep sigh.

"Aether-" she starts, but stops herself when Aether pats the stone beside him.

"Sit." he says, "You should take it easy, too."

She hesitates for a moment before taking a seat.

"How are you feeling today?" he asks, and it takes everything she has for Sunny not to blurt out the exact same thing in return.

Why's he asking her how she's doing when he's the one who-

"It's not a contest, Sunflower." Aether says, clearly picking up on her reluctance, "So... how are you?"

Sunny frowns.

"I'm going to miss them." she admits, but when Aether hums in agreement, she can't help but feel a twinge in her chest.

A rotten feeling is starting to pool there around her heart, not that she'll say it out loud.

Something jealous and bitter that's gnawing on her ribcage, and she can't even push it aside now, not when she has plenty of time to unpack it... she just doesn't want to.

"...I'm going to go get some work done today, so I'll see you around lunch?"

Aether pats her knee, "Sounds like a plan."

Truth be told, Sunny's never really had a chance to really stew in her more negative emotions.

Despite all the, well, "Hell" she went through in the pit and the trauma of clawing her way through the portal, she's always kept a smile on her face... for the most part anyway.

It's much easier to squash down those ugly feelings and pretend like she's okay.

Fake it 'til you make it, ya know?

But lately that's been hard, especially when faced with the fact that she is so easily replaceable.

That they were so easily able to find someone smaller, cuter... better... with such short notice.

She doesn't hate Aurora, but her heart had selfishly wished that it would have been at least a little more difficult for the church to find someone else to fill her position.

"So that's how it is." she can recall thinking, "I'm not really that important in the end, huh?"

The others in their pack hadn't even been nearly as upset when she announced she was staying behind as they were when Aether told them.

Sure, they'd known him for longer -for years- but she thought... she thought they were at least a little close by now.

"Whatever," she tells herself, "it's fine."

But it's not.

It's not fine.

Not really.

Sunny's stubborn, she knows; She has too much pride, doesn't like to admit that she wants -needs- to be wanted.

And maybe that's it.

Maybe that's the reason no one does.

They can smell it on her; The desperation.

.

.

.

"I don't get why I have to do this." Sunny says, picking a pebble from the tread of her boots with nimble fingers, "I mean, like, I'm good. Aether's the one you should be talking to."

"I do talk to him" Omega says, leaning back in his office chair, hands folded in his lap, "but that doesn't mean I can't talk to you as well."

"Okay, but, like, I don't need..." Sunny gestures broadly at the room their in, at the motivational posters, the cool toned pastel walls, and the basket of fidget toys beside her, "...whatever this is. I don't- Nothing's wrong with me."

The older ghoul tips his chair back towards the desk and reaches down to open a drawer, removing a thin, yellow folder; Her name is written on the cover in looping cursive handwriting.

"...What's that?" she asks, frowning at the folder, feeling a bit anxious now, "Seriously, what is that?"

Omega holds up a hand, "Nothing yet."

"Yet-"

"Every ghoul that is summoned, transferred to, or born here in the abbey has to go through certain evaluations in order for us to get an idea of who they are and how to best meet their needs." the larger ghoul slides the folder over to Sunny, "You can open it if you'd like."

Sunny picks up the folder and opens it.

"It's kind of... empty." she says, thumbing through the sparse paperwork, "...Why's that?"

"Well, we never really got to speak before you left on tour, which I apologize for. Normally, I would have come and interviewed you right away, got you settled in and given you time to adjust to everything first, but, instead, you got thrust right into the thick of it." Omega explains, "Now that you're going to be home for a while, I thought we might meet now and then to talk about things."

"Things?" Sunny questions, "Like what?"

"Anything you want." Omega offers, "Things you like, things you hate, how you're feeling that day..."

"That's what diaries are for." Sunny huffs, tossing the folder back onto the desktop, "Why would I talk to you about that stuff?"

"Because a diary can't talk back, and while I think journaling is certainly a healthy outlet for your thoughts and feelings, if that's the only way you get them out, it might be beneficial to have someone you can speak to without fear of being judged." Omega says, "And that's what I'm here for."

Sunny clicks her tongue.

"I don't even keep a diary, so..." she waves her hand dismissively, "...Like I said, nothing's wrong with me, so I don't think I need to do this."

"You keep saying that." Omega points out.

"Saying what?"

"That nothing's wrong with you." he says, "Do you think there has to be something wrong with you to be talking to me?"

Sunny shifts in her chair, the toe of her boot squeaking against the glossy hardwood floor as she adjusts herself, "...Kind of."

"Why is that?"

"Psh... 'Cause, like, you don't see a therapist if something's not wrong with you." she mumbles, "And being here means I'm probably, I dunno, nutty or weird, or fucked up somehow and I'm not seeing it or somethin'..."

Omega takes out a small notepad and a pen.

"Let's talk about that then..." he says, "Unless you want to start somewhere else?"

Sunny draws her feet up onto the chair, propping her chin up on her knees.

"I dunno..." she furrows her brow, "...I just feel like, because I'm here right now, I'm... it's like I'm in trouble somehow, and I don't like it."

"And, like, I dunno, I don't like feeling like people can tell I'm different somehow, 'cause I don't feel different, and I thought, ya know, I thought I was doing okay, but I guess not..." she continues, "...I don't even know what I'm doing here, like, in general. I... I'm not in the band anymore, and I wasn't even in it for long, so I should just leave..."

"Do you want to leave?" Omega asks after a moment, and Sunny looks up at him, red eyes drowning in tears yet to spill over.

"I don't want to go...!" Sunny hiccups, "I don't want to go! I want to stay! But I'm not- I'm nothing if I'm not with the others, but I can't, I don't-"

She pulls in a shuddering breath, sniffling.

"No one's going to make you leave, Sunny." Omega assures her, slipping her a packet of tissues, "This is your home now. Whether you're a band ghoul or not. Look at me; I've been here well passed my tenure in the band, there are some ghouls here that have never plucked a string or sung a single note, and they're still here. You're still here."

"But I'm..."

Sunny isn't sure what she wants to say.

She opens and closes her mouth, then looks at Omega, eyes wide.

"You sneaky motherfucker-"

.

.

.

Sunny nibbles on her pizza slice, trying her best to savor each bite.

There's something about crying that always makes her hungry, and when Aether offered to order a pizza for them to split, she couldn't pass up the idea of red sauce and cheese.

"So, how did your work go?" Aether asks, wiping his mouth, "Get to do anything fun?"

Sunny shrugs, "Went okay, I guess... I had to work with this guy on some paperwork. Boring stuff, not worth getting into."

Aether nods, "And the guy?"

"What about him?" Sunny tilts her head.

"What was he like?"

Sunny thinks back on her conversation with Omega earlier and looks down at a stray green pepper on her plate, picking it up and eating it before responding, "He was... kind of annoying."

"Oof, hopefully you don't have to see him again any time soon then." Aether scoffs, taking a sip of his water.

"Hn, actually, I'm going to be working with him a bit more." she says, recalling the note Omega had written on his calendar about their next scheduled appointment, "And I have to do this... writing assignment."

"A writing assignment?" Aether muses, "Really?"

"Yeah, uh, I have to do it daily. It's for... research!"

"Oh? That sounds more exciting than you made it sound earlier." he chuckles, "What are you researching?"

"We..." Sunny coughs, "Weather patterns."

"Weather patterns?"

She nods.

"I'm supposed to track the weather. Ya know, cloud... cloudy days, and... sunny ones."

"Ahhh, I see." Aether yawns, "...Goodness, I'm sorry... eating makes me sleepy anymore."

Sunny yawns, too, "Dammit, Aeth-"

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

I'm planning to re-play part 1.5 and 2 soon, and I'm kinda interested in understanding Vita better. Like, right now I just don't understand her. She says things like "I love Seele", that she wants to be friends with people, but it kinda seems like she's got some ulterior motive? And if she doesn't have some big grand evil plan that she's working on in the background, how can she, how can anyone express those feelings as genuinely as she does? It's like she just doesn't know what shame, fear and anxiety are. Maybe after getting Sa's powers she feels like nothing can stop her so she can just whatever she wants? idk

While 1.5 is, Part 2 isn't replayable on the same account at this time, so watch out on that.

Vita... Vita knows shame, fear and anxiety a little too well, I'd suspect.

Salt Snow Holy City and the Phosphorus arc to a lesser extent are very important to understand why she's like this. More than Part 2 is; Part 1.5 established all her villain backstory character, Part 2 we see more how she's getting worse now that she's free lmao.

You have to understand Vita is someone who was created in her mother's image. Furthermore, she has been told, explicitly, by someone who loathes Sa, that she is too much like how her mother used to be. If you played Born in a Dream, Vita's personality was born from a mix of her experience as a Proxy and Sa's memories.

Vita is essentially to Sa what Kiana is to Sirin.

But worse! Kiana was a child and grew up amnesiac of Sirin's memories even if they eventually came back (this really isn't elaborated on uh?), while Vita remembers, and was drop-kicked into adulthood with no one protecting her. Also, Kiana doesn't look like Sirin, while Vita's an identical clone.

She's got baggage as the basis of her identity!

Next up, you have to remember Vita was created as and lived as a slave and assassin all her life. Her thoughts were being spied on constantly, she had to follow orders or else she could be killed by Sa at any moment (her life even gets threatened onscreen in the Phosphorus arc), and her personality was molded to be approachable specifically so she could manipulate and kill people. That's what the kids would call a nasty abusive situation, with a side of neglect.

So Vita lacked a proper childhood, and she was unable to form bonds in a normal way in her formative years because her job was murdering everyone she got close to. The four sisters she got attached to in the event dream? They existed to an extent, but they were already gone. Vita already killed them. Yippeee! Marah, arguably the only one who could've been a loving parent, or at least her friend? Ran away, leaving her alone with Sa. Yippeeeeee!!!!!!!

Girlie calls herself a villain and told Seele she doesn't feel guilt for Salt Snow because no one died for good, so... I think she does feel shame for the blood on her hand, but also it was kind of all Sa's fault? So she wants to get over it and live her own happy life now. That might seem callous, but what else can she do? She can never atone for all the worlds she's destroyed, besides protect those that are threatened now... which is exactly what she is doing on Mars.

She explicitly tells Hua she finds genuinely good people disarming because she's so used to looking out for herself selfishly. She's twisted, and she's been constantly running in survival mode because that's what growing up in an abused household does to you. She is well aware she might turn out evil without guardrails, and asks Hua for advice about avoiding it in Phosphorus, but she feels being held back by equal friends doesn't suit her. Can you blame her? Girl's never had those before!

So. Why does she have zero filter? Vita very much always had the capacity to love, and that went horribly with her siblings who kept dying, but now she can indulge it without holding back, she no longer has a sword of Damocles hanging over her head. She can be childish and provoke people, because she has nothing to fear anymore, with Kiana asleep there's nearly no one left to be able to make her feel consequences for her actions (this is kind of a bad thing).

Toying with people is a habit, one she finds fun, and she is very much used to accepting that people hate her for very good reasons, so she has no incentive to stop. In Part 2 she's only been free for five years out of several dozens of millions of years of slavery. She hasn't unlearned any of that shit!

There's also the factor that she does not like it when gods decide what mortals do (yaknow like Sa did?), so she's pretty incensed against [REDACTED] on Mars. That seems to be her main long-term goal... and it's making her angry and frustrated, which she takes out on others by being extra mean (RIP Dreamseeker).

TLDR: Vita is an annoying gremlin because she's a pissed off abused woman catching up on her childhood while going slightly mad with power.

[deiscension]

﹄ ◇ ; @riwrite / left a prayer:

“ don't lie to me. ” / from hx!

       ⌜◈⌟    ▌ ──   "𝐈'𝐦 𝙣𝙤𝙩!" she cries, reflexively reaching for the end of his sleeve. As soon as her fingertips graze the gilded hem, she yanks her hand back as if she's touched open flame. Nothing in or of the Heavens should ever fall within her grasp again. Including her best friend.

     𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭, Shi Qingxuan insists, "I always meant it. You were-- you are my best friend." 

     𝐈𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐠𝐨𝐝. For him to not believe it, for there to be even the slightest chance he would doubt...

     𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐲𝐬𝐬. That would be a far kinder fate than for Ming Yi to choose now of all times to denounce their friendship.

     𝐀 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟.

     "𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞. I'll understand." She winces as soon as the words tumble out. Hadn't he just told her not to lie? The least she can do is listen to him for once. Swallowing around her shame, she amends her statement with as much convinction as she can muster. "I'll try to understand." 

     𝐒𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐬, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐬. To think of him, stoic and uncaring, responding to all questions regarding her whereabouts with his usual blase tone, "Who? She was never my friend." ... it hurts. It makes her want to tear her hair out, to scream herself raw, to break everything within reach, to wrap her own hands around her neck and squeeze until she's relieved of having to endure consciousness any longer. Agony ignites in her chest, the flames licking higher and higher until they nearly burst from her mouth in a plea for him to not forget her too quickly. 

     𝐒𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩, and he's still standing right in front of her. What will become of her once he's nothing more than a memory of a life that should never have been hers?

     𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬. Her first concern ought to be cooling her head and planning her next steps. Steps that will lead her further away from her brother's grasp. She must ignore how her heart trembles at the thought of willfully deepening the rift that has opened between them; otherwise she may go running to him rather than from him. Anywhere the gods could walk without need for disguise is anywhere she should avoid. Spending too much time in Yushi Country wouldn't be prudent. 

      𝐎𝐡, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞? When has she ever known anything at all? Silly, spoiled, self-absorbed. A blight upon innocent lives. A curse. She never saw beyond the charm and glamor of her life because she had so childishly refused to acknowledge the shadows she had been saved from might still exist. Someone as righteous and selfless as Ming Yi shouldn't force himself to remain at her side.

      "𝐖𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬. I wasn't lying about that either." Shi Qingxuan circles her thumb and index finger around her wrist, worrying skin rubbed raw by the ropes that had bound her to the Water Master's bed. "...I overheard what you said to His Highness. You're right; I'm friendly with everyone, but when hard times come, nobody can be bothered with me. Except for you. You've always taken such good care of me, haven't you? You know, when you came back for me, I thought I'd die of happiness. Ahaha, ah..." Nervous laughter deflates into a shaky exhale, leaving her lungs empty and burning. Deciding to act selfishly once more, she refuses to breathe in again right away. She needs a moment to exist before the caveat. Once it's passed, there's no going back.

      𝐃𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, she's struck with the overwhelming knowledge that the best thing she could do for either of them is drop dead. She does the next best thing instead.

     "𝐑𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰, you really shouldn't care. You should go back. You-- you--"

     𝐀 𝐬𝐨𝐛 𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐭. Ashamed of her unending weakness, Shi Qingxuan buries her face behind both her hands. In the dark behind her eyelids, where she's not as much of a coward as she is when her eyes are open, she lays herself bare.

      𝙔𝙤𝙪. It's always you. Don't you understand that by now? Take my hand. You don't have to tell me it will be okay; you've never done me the disservice of sparing my feelings before, you don't need to start now. Ming-xiong, Ming-xiong, my Ming-xiong. I owe you more than I could ever repay, in this lifetime or the next. I'm sorry. This lowly one never knew her place. I'll find your temples and give earnest thanks. Use the merits to treat yourself to the meals I've promised you. That's the only time I'll ever intrude where I don't belong, I swear to you. So take my hand one more time. I want to remember how it feels in mine once we've parted ways. And you know how forgetful I am. Please, Ming Yi. Please. 

     𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬, 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐭.

      𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰. She needs him to know. Selfish as ever, fighting back tears yet again ( and oh, how tired she already is of her own useless tears ), she tries. She tries with everything she is: not much, yet audacious enough to look into the face of heaven and speak without inhibition. 

      "𝐈... 𝐈 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞. Ming-xiong, you're everything." And I deserve nothing. "I still can't believe nobody else sees that." She dares take a step forward. Dares reaching for him again, determined not to pull away this time--

      --𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐣𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝, announcing the arrival of another Heavenly Official. She backs away from the door, and consequently from Ming Yi. Her hand remains hovering between them, a hairsbreadth away from his collar, fingers trembling and half-curled like withering petals.

[oc-aita]

AITA for making my mother raise my daughter?

What the title says. I understand if I'm TA, I even think it would be the most reasonable option. But I don't know.

I (21M) have a daughter (5F) whom I love with all my heart. And yeah, the ages are correct, I had her when I was 16. Teenagers sometimes don't fully understand the consequences of their actions, and I always was a person who preferred to do what I was told to avoid making people upset. This led up to me becoming a teenage father. Can't do much now, but it's okay, because my daughter became my everything as soon as I saw her.

As I said above, I always preferred doing what people wanted to avoid making them upset, I was always anxious and depended a lot of other's opinions, because I always feel like I can't make choices of my own, that others just know better. I also had this thing were I started to feel unreal, that the world was unreal or just lose hours of the day if I got really anxious, usually for minor things that escalated quickly on my mind, despite having zero evidence that the thing was happening or going to happen.

Anyway, my daughter's mother and ex girlfriend just disappeared completely from our lives, so for the first three years I raised her on my own. Managing schoolwork and a kid was hard work, but I eventually graduated from high school two years after she was born.

Everything was... kinda fine? Except my mental health started to awfully deteriorate the exact day of my 19 birthday. I don't know why, but I started to be a ball of anxiety. Always looking for possible threats to my well-being, physical or emotional, no matter how minor. And with so, the feelings of unreality became something usual, and something that lasted for hours or even a whole day. Hours not understanding where I was or who I was, hours feeling like nothing was real, or being totally disconnected from reality I wouldn't realize time was passing until hours later. And as you can guess, this led to me accidentally neglecting my daughter for these hours I wasn't feeling real. You can't just ignore a 3 years old for hours. She was never seriously harmed thankfully, but she would sometimes cry and that somehow wasn't enough to snap me out of that state.

Anyway, this got repeated for months. My mother (54F) knew about it, and was worried for the both of us. However, she way more worried about her granddaughter, understandably so. She didn't wanted to call Child Protection Services, and I refused to give her up for adoption, but I was legitimately unable to take care of myself, let alone a child. So at the end we agreed she would take care of her until I am better mentally. And so, my daughter has been living with her grandmother for two years now, with me visiting every time I have a chance.

I understand that my mother also agreed to it but, she's 54. She already raised a child, she shouldn't be raising another one who's that small and young. But I selfishly refuse to give her up for adoption, in fact I'm not even that comfortable with someone else raising her, even if that someone else is my mom. But that's a middle ground between what I want and what she needs.

So, AITA?

[moonlightndaydreams]

Deep End - Part 9

Part 8: 2K words approx

Available on Ao3 HERE

Characters: OFC Aura, Minho, Han

Overall Summary: AU/ Minho is the new accountant at Aura's work, and he's got his sights set on her. But what happens when her ex Han comes back into the picture.

Workplace romance with a blast from the past for Aura.

Part 9 Summary: The truth is revealed.

Warnings: Angst, hopeful ending

Read Part 8 Here

---------------------------

“You’ve been avoiding me, and now I know why!” Han sneered. Anger burned in his eyes as he glared at Minho.

“I don’t know what you think you’re doing Minho. I get it, you say you don’t want me. But you string me along anyway, telling me it’s friendship. But then I see the way you look at me. It’s not fair of you, but I can live with it.

But Aura? She deserves better than what you’ve done to her? Fucking her and then giving her no explanation as to why you ended things like you did? Do you know what she thinks?” His voice was full of bitterness.

Minho finally met Han’s eyes.

“She thinks you hate her.”

“That’s not true.” Minho’s eyes were full of despair.

“Then what is it?” Han growled, grabbing Minho by the collar and shoving him against wall of Minho’s office.

“It was inappropriate to date your ex. Han, it would’ve made things…strained… between you and me. I broke it off as soon as I found out. Besides, I thought that maybe you two would probably get back together.” Minho lowered his head feeling ashamed.

This was not how Minho wanted things to turn out. All he wanted was to protect the people he cared about, the people he’d fallen in love with. He thought distancing himself would be the right thing to do.

But Han had stormed into Minho’s office, and now Minho had to finally deal with the mess he’d caused.

Han was right. Minho had strung him along. He hadn’t meant to. He wasn’t supposed to fall in love with the messed up, broken boy that had come into his life.

Fuck, how he had to control his feelings when Han had shown his interest in him. But it would have been wrong to allow Han to get close to him like that. He was his mentor for fuck’s sake, it would have been taking advantage of him.

But he couldn’t not see him. Under the guise of wanting to be just Han’s friend, Minho could continue to selfishly be in Han’s world long after their program ended.

Oh how he would often wish that someone would come along that would catch Minho’s attention. That there’d be someone else out there for him.

And then he started is new job and met Aura. A welcome distraction. A new beginning. Minho was hopeful that Aura would be the person that he could have a future with. He could see it in his mind’s eye. He really could.

What were the chances that Aura was Han’s ex girlfriend?

And now she was gone too. He’d managed to fuck that up before it even properly began.

All he wanted to do was get over Han, and now he had to get over them both.

Han gripped Minho’s jaw, holding it so he couldn’t look away. “Aura’s an incredible woman. You two could have made each other happy. There was no reason you couldn’t have made it work, even if you knew she was my ex.” He whispered.

Minho stared into Han’s heartbroken eyes. “Hannie,” Han released Minho, dropping his hands to his sides. Minho, without thinking reached up and cupped Han’s cheek. “I broke it off with her… and I’ve been avoiding you because… fuck,” Minho looked up the ceiling and sighed, then returned his gaze to Han. “I’m fucking in love with you both.”

Han made to take a step back, but Minho held him in place, still cupping his cheek. His thumb traced over Han’s trembling bottom lip, and then he leaned in connecting his lips with Han’s and taking him in a soft kiss.

Minho was sure Han would pull away and punch him in the face, but instead he started to kiss Minho back. He slightly parted his lips allowing Minho to gently deepen the kiss.

This was wrong. Kissing Han was only going to complicate things further. But he couldn’t stop. He wanted to remember the feeling, the taste of his lips forever. Who knew if once this was over he would ever be able to be close to him again?

-------------------------------

Aura entered the cozy restaurant and closed her umbrella, leaving it the bucket at the front door. She was grateful to be out of the rain. It was definitely not the kind of weather Aura wanted to be out and about in, but Han had said Keely wanted her to come to dinner with them, to say thank you for her support with their mum.

She followed the waiter as he ushered her through to a table in the back corner of the restaurant. She was nervous about seeing Han again. She hadn’t seen him since they slept together, although they had been texting. Things had seemed good between them in the written form, but she had no idea how she was going to feel face to face.

“Here you are.” The waiter said, gesturing to the table in the corner. Aura stopped dead in her tracks. Han was already seated, but next to him, backed turned to Aura, was not Keely at all. It was… she walked around the table to find…Minho.

Aura had so far successfully avoided him since returning to work. Actually, she only ever left her office to use the bathroom because quite frankly she didn’t want to see anyone who might have heard that audio of them having sex.

Aura’s eyes widened at the situation before her. Han looked up at her hopefully, but all Aura could do was shake her head ready to walk straight out of there.

Minho was just as surprised at seeing Aura as she was of him. He glanced at Han confused and then angrily up at Aura. He stood as if to leave too.

“Aura, Minho… please…” Han stood up and gestured for them both to sit.

Tears welled up in Aura’s eyes. Han had tricked her. Half of her wanted to run away, the other half wanted to hear him out. What was going on? Why did he ask her here? Why was Minho here?

She lowered herself into the chair, and poured a glass of water from the jug on the table. Minho hesitated a moment longer before he also sat himself back down. An awkward tension filled the room as they waited for Han to speak.

“Look. I know I lied to you to get you to come here. I’m sorry.” He paused. “Actually, no I’m not sorry at all.” His voice turned assertive.

Both Aura and Minho sat in silence and waited for Han to continue.

“Minho,” Minho looked to Han confused. “Tell Aura why you broke it off. She deserves to know the truth.” He insisted.

Minho opened his mouth with a horrified look, “What? Hannie? I can’t.” he shook his head. Aura had never seen him look so…scared.

“Minho,” Aura’s voice was soft and soothing, but inside she was scared too. What was he going to tell her? “Please…” she urged.

Minho paused for what felt like an eternity, then cleared his throat. “Aura. When you and I met, I didn’t know you and Han were, used to be, together.” He started nervously. He looked between Han and Aura. “Then, when I found out, I thought it would be for the best if I kept my distance.”

“You could have told me.” Aura said solemnly.

Minho nodded. “I know…but there’s more.” His eyes darted to Han and then to Aura.

“Go on.” Han encouraged him.

“I can’t.” Minho squeezed his eyes shut as though he was willing himself to disappear.

“Please, Minho. Please just tell me.” Aura whispered.

“I had…have…feelings for Han.” He dropped his head as if waiting for Aura to explode in anger.

That was not what Aura expected to hear. “Hannie!” She turned her attention to her ex. Aura’s mind was buzzing with a million thoughts. So many conflicting feelings raced through her body. On one hand she was heartbroken that Minho left her, she felt like she’d been kicked in the guts. But she wanted Han to be happy. Maybe Han and Minho could find a way to be together after all.

“So are you two together now? Wait.” She paused as a revelation hit her. “Han? Did you bring me here to give you both some kind of blessing or something? Because, honestly, I’m fine. I really am. You two would look amazing together. It’s really… wonderful. It’s amazing.” Aura’s voice was becoming more forced and shrill the more she spoke. Her skin burned. She could feel tears threatening to spill out of her eyes, and she felt like she was going to vomit. She was happy for them. She really was. But it hurt. It hurt to be a rebound. It hurt to be rejected.

Aura didn’t feel like she was in her body as she walked out of the restaurant. She didn’t pick up her umbrella, she didn’t care that the rain was pouring down outside. She didn’t get into her car. She just kept walking up the street. Her hair drenched. Her makeup running. She barely heard the voices calling after her, getting closer.

“Aura, please. Wait.” Minho stepped in front of her stopping her by grasping her wrists and pulling her under the awning of a Thai restaurant for shelter.

“You have my blessing, I told you!” She wailed, trying to free herself from his grip.

“I hadn’t finished, Aura!” He growled gripping her wrists tighter, and she fell silent. His hair was sopping wet, droplets of water were running down his beautiful face.

“I can’t just be with Han when I’m fucking in love with you too.”

Aura stood frozen. He was in love with her? He was in love with Han? He was in love with both of them?

She shook her head. “So what are you saying? You want to date us both?” She said sarcastically.

“I hope that’s what he’s saying.” A voice behind her said. Aura turned to see Han, also soaking wet, and panting from running to catch up. He took both Minho’s and Aura’s hands in his. “Aura,” Han started. “Maybe Minho can have us both?” He said hopefully and shrugged.

She turned back to Minho. Was that really an option? Could her and Han really both date him? Could it really work? How would it work? What would that mean for her and Han? Things were complicated. What if this fucked everything up even more?

“I slept with Han.” She blurted out. “After you started ignoring me.” She regretted saying it as soon as it left her lips. “I’m so sorry Han…. I shouldn’t have said that.” Her hand covered her mouth.

Minho pulled her hand away and his mouth was on hers. He kissed her like he never wanted to let her go. At first she wanted to push him away, tell him to fuck off. But then a burning heat coursed through her veins and she found herself melting against him. She’d missed him more than she knew. She kissed him back, finding his tongue, communicating with him how much she needed him. She didn’t know what she was doing, or what was going to happen after this, but for now she held onto this moment for as long as she could.

He eventually peeled away only to take Han in an equally heated kiss. Han still had one hand holding hers, squeezing it as his other snaked around Minho’s waist. Minho held Han’s face in his hands as their mouths explored each other. Their perfect lips connecting in the most beautiful, passionate way.

Aura thought sex with Minho was the most erotic thing she’d experienced, but that paled in comparison to watching the two men in front of her. It stirred something inside of her. Curiosity, yes. But there was something else. It was love. A love for both of them. She wanted them both too.

They eventually pulled themselves away from each other, and gazed into each other’s eyes.

“Han?” He turned to face her. She took both his hands in hers. “If you’re not one hundred percent okay with this, I won’t do it. But if you are…” her concern turned into a smile and Han smiled too. It had been so long since he smiled like this, like in the photos hidden in her drawer. It was a smile she’d missed and it lit up her heart.

Then she did something she didn’t expect. She kissed him. Not a hungry, wild kiss. Just a small, careful, hopeful kiss. “I’m one hundred percent okay with this.” He whispered.

Minho cleared his throat. “So, kittens, think maybe we should get out of the rain. Maybe go back to-

“Let’s go back to my house.” Aura offered. “I’ll make coffees, we can get some takeaway dinner, and maybe we can talk more about how we’re going to do this throuple thing, yeah?”

So.... I need to know... Do you need a threesome chapter?

@channieandhisgoonsquad

@lyramundana

@2chopsticks2eyes