Regulusā heart breaks as he stands there, just behind the willow tree, watching James and Sirius roll around on the grass, play fighting in their own little world.
Of course he left him. Of course James would pick Sirius over Regulus, wouldnāt everyone? Regulus has never been picked first. Not once.
Not by his parents, who ignored him throughout his entire childhood to focus on framing Sirius as the perfect son and heir.
Not by Sirius, who ran away, picking James to be his brother and not bothering to ask Regulus to tag along.
Not in team games, where students would pick through the class one by one, and Regulus would be one of the last few standing.
Not by his friends, who all would chose their partners, or the other people in the group first. He joined last, itās only fair.
Not even by the lizard who inhabits his dorm room, who picks the three other boys to crawl over to first, every time.
And certainly not by James.
He thought, for once, the cycle might be broken. He thought, for once, someone would pick him first. Heād get chosen over someone else, just once.
He should have known better.
He should have known that the moment Sirius found out about he and James sneaking around in dark corridors and whispering sweet words to each other, James would have to pick.
He was foolish to think James would pick him over Sirius. He was foolish to think that James would pick him over anyone.
And as Lily, with her fiery red hair pulled back into braids, comes marching over to the boys, snatching James up by his collar and earning herself a cheek kiss, Regulus realises he should have seen that coming too.
Not even two weeks has passed since Regulus placed second to his brother, as he does in fucking everything, and James has already moved on.
Regulus would never be anyoneās first choice, he should have known better.
He knows better now.
Itās not until three months later that Regulus finally shatters from it. The crushing weight of never being enough, never being someoneās first choice.
Itās Slytherin against Ravenclaw for the quidditch cup, and there in the crowd, he spots his brother and James.
Theyāre decked out in silver and blue, and they donāt look at Regulus, not even once.
Barty finds him in the showers, once the entire teams cleared out. Heās dressed in a confusing mix of blue and green, for his own house and his friends.
Hes crying. Regulus doesnāt think heās ever cried this hard before. The water is pouring down over his head, and heās still fully dressed in his uniform.
Slytherin lost. He lost them the match, because he was more focused on trying to catch James or Sirius looking his way just once than getting the snitch. They didnāt, and he lost.
Barty clearly doesnāt know how to handle this. The lowest heās ever seen Regulus would have been prior to an exam he stressed himself out about. Besides, Barty has always been a little awkward when handling emotions.
Regulus tries to tell him to leave him be, he really does. But his words get all chocked up in his throat and he canāt get out much more than a wail or a sob. It fucking hurts.
āWhatās the matter, Black?ā Barty asks, switching the water off before crouching down in front of him, āWhatās got your knickers in a twist, hey?ā
āI-Iāll never beā¦ good enough.ā Regulus confesses. Heās never said it out loud before. Heās not a vulnerable person, he doesnāt do this. He knows better than to let out his sob story to someone, they can hold it over him one day. But he canāt help himself, he finds. He needs to get it off his chest before it rips him open, āIāll neverā¦ b-be enough.ā
Bartyās silent for a while, clearly unsure of what to say. It only makes Regulus sob more. He pulls his knees up to his chest and hides his head in his hand, and he fucking cries. Heās sure if anyoneās still out side, theyād hear it, but Barty locked the door when he came in. At least thatās something.
āI can never be enough.ā Regulus sobs again, and this time Barty kicks into action.
Heās still awkward about it, Regulus can tell, he probably has better things to do than listen to Regulus cry as well, which only makes this worse. He pushes Regulusā sopping hair out of his face and pats his face dry with the end of his Slytherin scarf before hauling them both to their feet.
āWho told ya that?ā Barty asks, pulling his wand out to try his hand at a drying spell. It mostly works, so Regulus canāt complain.
āI donāt have to be told something to know it, Barty.ā Regulus sniffles, wiping his eyes. They sting, and he knows he looks terrible, but thereās no use in worrying about that now.
āWellā¦ I think, if you havenāt been told, it canāt be true.ā Barty shrugs, tucking his wand back in his pocket.
āFine.ā Regulus nods, āMy entire fucking family has told me then, on several occasions.ā
āOh.ā Barty stills, and he has a look on his face of utter confusion.
Regulus shakes his head and goes to walk for the door, but he winces when he puts pressure on his ankle. He fell on it weirdly, midway through the match when he was knocked off his broom. It didnāt bother him before, but it does now.
āYou hurt?ā Barty asks, and Regulus nods.
Silently, Barty reaches out and wraps his arm around Regulusā waist. He flinches at first, startled by the slightly intimate touch, but then Barty pulls Regulus to shift his weight, and he relaxes into it a little. Together, they walk back across the field, Barty carrying Regulusā broom, and half of Regulusā weight, and make their way back to the castle.
Itās oddly silent.
Itās always quiet, between them. Regulus isnāt much of a talker, and when Barty runs out of stupid things to say he goes quiet and people watches. He usually watches Regulus, since theyāre always together, something that took a while to get used to. Barty really likes to watch Regulus read, it makes him a little self conscious of any strange expressions he might be making.
But itās a strange sort of quiet now. Itās silent. Regulus isnāt talking, not because he doesnāt want to, but because he feels ashamed for breaking down like that. He doesnāt just break down. Men donāt fucking break down. Especially not in front of people like that. He feels embarrassed that Barty found him.
Well, heās grateful it was Barty over anyone else, seeing as though theyāre supposed to be close friends, Merlin forbid Sirius found him. But itās still uncomfortable.
The only friend any of them have that likes to talk about feelings is Pandora. Regulus assumed this was because she was a girl, at first, however, Dorcas doesnāt like talking about them either. Pandoras just strange like that, she cares about people in odd ways. Sometimes itās nice, but mostly itās terrifying.
Barty looks like he wants to talk. He also looks like he wants to watch Regulus, but every time he turns his head to do so he probably sees the red rimming of Regulusā eyes and finds something much uglier than usual. It only makes Regulus feel all the more ashamed.
Barty starts whistling. Itās not his regular noise filling whistles either, itās his uncomfortable whistling. He doesnāt want to be here, Regulus can tell. Merlin, he needs to get away.
āGoing back to your dorm?ā Barty asks as they round a corridor in the castle.
Regulus nods, āIs Evan-ā
āHeās there.ā Barty says, āCas tooā¦ dunno about Dora, sheās always off with the fairies. If sheās not hugging Dorcas about their loss then I dunno where she is.ā
Regulus goes tense, āI donāt want them to see me.ā
Barty stops and swallows, āOkayā¦ how about my dorm then? My roommates are all down by the lake. They snagged some firewhisky.ā
āOkay.ā Regulus agrees, because he has no where else to go.
Once settled in Bartyās dorm, Regulus changes into more comfortable clothes. Plaid pyjama pants and a green knitted sweater he knows is his own that went āmissingā last year. He doesnāt question it, Bartyās strange like that. He likes to collect things, and especially Regulusā things.
Theyāre both sitting on his bed, Regulus tucked up under the covers and Barty sitting on the other end. Heās flipping through one of his dorm mates magazines and whistling to himself, his regular whistling again. It calms Regulus a bit.
Lying there, stuck with his own thoughts, he canāt hide from the images that pop into his mind every time he closes his eyes. All of Sirius and James, all of them examples where Regulus placed last.
Thereās so many itās hard to filter out which ones are new and which ones are old.
They all hurt just the same.
āWhatcha crying about now?ā Barty asks, looking over at Regulus. He didnāt even realise he was crying again, but he is. āDid I do something wrong? Iāll fix it, whatever. Get ya whatever you need, promise.ā
āYou didnāt do anything.ā Regulus sniffles, rolling onto his back to look up at the ceiling. Bartyās stuck posters up there, muggle ones of girls on motorcycles and punk bands, just to piss off his dad. āIām justā¦ā
āGo on.ā Barty asks, sitting up now, cross legged and attentive. āThereās no one here, just me. Promise Iāll never tell.ā
Regulus sighs and fiddles with his fingers, āI donāt need your pity, Barty. Iāve survived this long, I can survive some more.ā
āYeah, but youāre crying.ā He says, and Regulus glares at him. āWhat? I aināt seen you cry before, itās weird. I know itās really gotta be botherin ya if youāre crying like this. What would Dora say?ā
āSheād probably try to hug me and make me cry more.ā Regulus offers.
āDo you wantā¦ me to- uhm, hug you?ā
āNo.ā Regulus glares at him. āI donāt want your pity, I said.ā
āItās not my pity, Regulus!ā Barty splutters, āItās a bloody hug. Dora says there really good for ya! I love her hugs, you know. Get āem all the time. I- I know Iām no Pandora butā¦ I mean, I can offer ya a real bony one.ā
Regulus snickers and looks back up at the roof, āNo thanks. Thatās weird.ā
āIs it?ā Barty asks, āCauseā¦ cause Iāve been listening to what sheās sayin andā¦ I think it would be nice.ā
āIf I hugged you right now?ā Regulus raised an eyebrow at him.
āYeahā¦ and other times.ā Barty shrugged, āI dunno, might be dumb butā¦ weāre supposed to be friends, ya know? Friends hug. Cas hates āem, unless theyāre from Dora, but Evan and I hug sometimes.ā
āYouāre being weird.ā
āIām not trying to.ā Barty frowned, āI justā¦ I care about you, I suppose.ā
Regulus swallowed. The only person whoās said that before has been Pandora, but she cares about everyone.
Bartyā¦ well, he doesnāt care about much at all. He cares about so little, that Regulus thought the only thing he probably cared about was pissing off his dad and Pandora herself. But apparently thatās not true.
Regulus doesnāt want to believe it. He doesnāt want to hurt himself by believing that he could be one of the very few things Barty has come to care about.
But theyāre friends, and Barty watches him a lot, and collects Regulusā things, and helps him when he cries, and offers to hug him.
Now Regulus is crying for a whole other reason.
āOne hug?ā Barty offers, sticking out his arms, āIāll make it so quick and if you hate it we donāt ever have to do it again.ā
Regulus contemplates it. He doesnāt remember the last time he was hugged.
He knows the last good one was Pandora, maybe last year, when they were leaving for summer. Quick and carefree. The last bad one, that was James. Not that it was bad at the time, but it hurts to think about now. It was false stability and ended in heartbreak. The last time he was hugged to be soothed though? His mind takes him back to Sirius, when they were still little.
āFine.ā Regulus mutters, sitting up under the covers, āBut make it quick.ā
āYeah, yeah.ā Barty nods and moves in, āSorry if Iām uncomfortable.ā
Regulus nods and sits very still as Barty wraps himself around Regulusā shoulders. Itās awkward, to say the least. Theyāve never done this before, and theyāre going about it very strangely.
āRegā¦ you gotta relax a bit.ā
āHow am I supposed to relax when I have a boney man attached to me?ā
Barty scoffs and squeezes him a little tighter, āJust put your head on my shoulder, orrite. Relax, just for a second.ā
Regulus huffs but does it anyway. He leans his head over to rest on Bartyā shoulder and drops his own, andā¦ oh, itās nice. Itās actually really, really nice. Bartyās soothing his back, and twisting his finger around the end of Regulusā hair. And itās nice.
He canāt even feel Bartyās ribs poking him or anything. Itās really, really cosy.
Regulus pushes him away, wiping his tears.
Barty gives him a guilty smile, āTerrible?ā
āNo.ā Regulus sniffles, āIt was actually grossly nice.ā
Barty snickers and nods his head, āWell, if you ever need another hug, Iāll give ya as many as ya kneed.ā
āThanks.ā
āNo problems, Black.ā
Regulus fiddles with the ends of his sleeve, refusing to look up at Barty, who he knows is sitting there and staring. Heās so quiet, when he stares. Itās as if any noise Barty makes would ruin his ability to set his full attention solely on Regulus.
Itās so strange. Heās so strange.
āYou canāt tell anyone.ā Regulus mumbles.
āWhat, that we hugged?ā Barty laughs.
āNo.ā He scoffs, āWhat I said before, wanker. In the showers.ā
āOh.ā Barty nods, āWell, I wasnāt gonna anyway. Course not, Reg. I know you. I know you hate people knowing your business.ā
Regulus nods, āYou really wouldnāt have told anyone? Not even Dora?ā
āCross my heart.ā Barty smiles, doing just that, āI know sheās my best friend, but you are too. It means something, you know?ā
āOh.ā Regulus mumbles.
Barty can only laugh at him, and Regulus turns a little pink.
āCan Iā¦ no, donāt worry about it.ā
āNo, go on.ā Barty offers, āItās just you and me.ā
Regulus sighs, āI justā¦ Iām tired of not being good enough, Barty.ā
āI dunno what you mean, Black. Youāre bloody brilliant.ā Barty says, flopping down on his back like a starfish, āYou shoulda been in Ravenclaw with your smarts, and not to mention your skills as a seeker. Youāre top of the class, Reggie, course youāre good enough.ā
Regulus thinks Barty will never understand how much that singular sentence fucking means to him, even if he tries to explain it. It stings, how good it feels to hear it. He never has. Not once.
āNot just in school, Barty. Everywhere else.ā Regulus mumbles, wiping his teary eyes. Theyāre stinging again, and he really doesnāt want to cry, but he knows he will. Itās so stupid. āEverything else. Iām justā¦ā
Barty rolls onto his side, propping his head up on his elbow to look at Regulus, āLike, with your family?ā
Regulus nods, chewing on a hangnail.
āYeah, I get that.ā Barty sighs, āIs this aboutā¦ those who must not be named?ā
Regulus closes his eyes to compose himself, and nods again.
āRight.ā Barty says, āDid Sirius do something? You know he barked at me the other day, like a fucking dog. So Iāll go hex him, happily, if you want?ā
āNo, Barty. Donāt.ā Regulus shook his head, āHe didnātā¦ Iā¦ they both justā¦ā
āGo on.ā Barty said softly, softer than Regulus has ever heard him speak before as he slowly sits up to get level with him.
āIāll always be second best.ā Regulus mutters, and then he starts crying again. Hot tears down his cheeks, redness in his eyes, stuttering over himself as he shakes.
āOh, Regā¦ā
āHe- he just picked James, over his own blood brother. Every time itās James andā¦ and Iā¦ and James justā¦ I loved him. I loved him Barty, I was in love with him. I think part of me still is, butā¦ he, he picked Sirius too. He picked Sirius, and Lily, because sheās justā¦ sheās so pretty, and smart, and sheās got everything that Iāve got but, sheās justā¦ sheās just so much better.ā Regulus heaved, pressing a hand to his chest, āEverywhere, I see it everywhere. Not just with them, but mostly, I- Iāll neverā¦ Iāve never been someoneās first choice, Barty. Ever. And I donāt think I ever will be. No one picks me just because they can.ā
His shoulders shake as he cries, his breath short and stuttered. When Barty reaches out in offer for another hug, Regulus falls forward into his arms, head pressed against his friends chest.
It feels so safe there, to be cradled in Bartyās arms, itās warm. He cries a puddle through his sweater, but Barty doesnāt seem to mind.
āShh, Reggie.ā Barry sooths, lightly scratching his nails over Regulusā back and sifting his fingers through his hair. āJust breathe, love. Just breathe.ā
Regulus follows his command, taking deep breaths and timing them with the rise and fall of Bartyās chest beneath his head. He relaxes there, letting his eyes fall shut, and Barty continues to rub his back and play with his hair.
āIām so tired.ā Regulus mumbles through the last of his tears, āIām going to fall asleep if you keep doing that.ā
āThatās okay.ā Barty laughs softly, āHow about we lie down?ā
āIsnāt that weird?ā Regulus asks.
āIsnāt everything I do weird?ā
Regulus shrugs and follows when Barty pulls him down to lay against the pillows. Barty slips under the covers with him, and pulls Regulusā head against his chest again. Bartys heart is beating faster than it should be, but Regulus ignores it and wiggles around until heās comfortable.
Once again, Barty strokes his back and scratches his scalp, and folds himself into Regulus a little.
He presses a little kiss to the top of Regulusā head, and his heartbeat speeds up rapidly.
Regulus tenses, āWhy is your heart beating like that, Barty? Are you okay? Did I make you uncomfortable?ā He questions, already coming up with a million terrible reasons for it. Heās been so stupidly selfish about his own problems he didnāt even notice how uncomfortable heās made his supposed best friend.
āNoā¦ā Barty half follows as Regulus sits up, leaning back on his elbows, āNo, Reg. Obviously not.ā
Regulusā shoulders relax a little, āWell, then what is it?ā
Barty looks away, āCome on, donāt tease, Reggie. Iām not in the mood.ā
āIām not teasing.ā He shakes his head, āWhatās the problem?ā
āThereās no problem, obviously.ā Barty snickers, āCome on, we can justā¦ we can forget about it by tomorrow if itās weird.
āWhatās weird, Crouch?ā Regulus pressed, āI donāt understand.ā
Barty looked at him for a moment, eyebrows drawn together in the middle, and his mouth slowly fell open, āYou donāt know?ā
āKnow what?ā Regulus asked.
āAbout meā¦ā
āAbout youā¦ what?ā Regulus shook his head.
āAboutā¦ā Barty sighed, shaking his head in delirium. He laughed, at himself, mostly, which only confused Regulus more, āEveryone said it was obvious. I just thought we bothā¦ I thought we had an understanding. That weād both ignore it and go on with our lives.ā
āWhat the fuck are you talking about, Barty?ā Regulus asked, shoving at his chest.
āOi!ā Barty snickered, āThat Iā¦ wellā¦ I thought you knew youād be my first choice for everything.ā
Regulus froze, scowling at him for a moment, āDonāt tease-ā
āNot teasing, Reggie.ā Barty looked away, taking a short breath. āLook, if itāsā¦ if itās too weird, I get it. But, Iām okay pretending, if you want.ā
āP-pretending?ā Regulus whispered.
āYeah.ā He shrugged, sitting up and loosely hugging his knees, āPretending Iām not in love with you.ā
Regulus didnāt have an answer for that. He was truely wound speechless. Bartyā¦ loves him?
āI meant itā¦ Iād pick- Iād pick you over everything else in this world. I really mean it, Reggie. I promise.ā Barty mumbled, āYouāre my first pick, always have been.ā
Regulusā heart stops in his chest for a moment. His throat hurts and his eyes sting again. Regulus doesnāt think heās cried as much as he has today through his entire life, including when he was a baby.
He canāt help it, crying again. Because Regulus believes him. Bartyās always been devastatingly honest, even at the worst of times. So why would he lie about this? And he looks so earnest, sounds it too. He sounds like he really, truely means it.
No ones ever picked Regulus first, besides Barty Crouch Jr, who has a collection of Regulusā things, and who stares at him unashamedly, and consoles Regulus when he cries even if it makes him uncomfortable.
And Regulus has been too self centred to ever notice.
But Barty is in love with him, and by the sounds of it he has been for a while. Apparently everyone knows it.
He thinks about it for a moment, while he sobs and cries and heaves. Barty does all that he can to soothe him, reaching out to wipe away tears, and hold him, and rub his arms and back.
Regulus doesnāt think heās ever felt as safe as he doesnāt when heās around Barty. Which is an odd thing to realise, because Barty is kind of a loose cannon. Heās violent, and angry, and snarky and rude. But with Regulus heās alwaysā¦ well, heās funny, and he can still be a little rude sometimes, but heās also kind and generous and a little odd.
Regulus now realises all that oddness heās noticed is just things Barty does that signals heās in love with him. But Regulus has never noticed, heās never looked to see how Barty doesnāt do all these very things with other people.
Heās Bartyās first choice.
And now that he thinks of it, Barty might just be his.
Heās the only person Regulus trusts to see him like this. Not even Pandora could, as much as he loves her. Regulus just hates being vulnerable. But he supposed itās a little different with Barty, because heās always been a little vulnerable with Regulus.
Itās comforting, to say the least, to have confirmation that heās wanted. That heās cared for. That heās somebodies first choice.
And Barty loves him, which is strange. Heās never looked at Barty in that way before. And sure, Barty makes plenty of jokes about finding Regulus fit and wanting to snog him and so on and so forth, but heās never thought too deeply about it.
He does that with other people, doesnāt he?
Now that Regulus thinks about it, he definitely doesnāt do it as much as he does it to Regulus.
Barty pulls away, rubbing up and down Regulusā biceps, as he gives a nervous smile. Itās crooked, like most of Bartyās smiles, but this time Regulus really notices it.
āIām sorry if itās weird, I dunno what to do, Reggie.ā Barty tries, āHow do I stop you crying?ā
Regulus sniffled and blinked his tears away slowly, refusing to cry anymore. His cheeks are all wet and sticky, and his eyes fucking ache, as well as his throat, but heās not thinking about that.
āDo you really mean that?ā Regulus sniffles, and he blinks away a few more tears, āMe being your first choice?ā
āOf course, why would I lie about that, Reg. It clearly means a lot to you- I justā¦ I thought you knew.ā
Regulus scrunches up his nose, āWell, why would I cry about how Iām no oneās first choice if I knew I was yours?ā
Bartyās quiet for a moment. He retracts his hands and ducks his head to mumble, āI just thoughtā¦ well I thought I didnāt really matter, at the end of it all.ā He shrugged, āIād do anything for you- I already have, you know, andā¦ I justā¦ I thought you knew. And I thought it didnāt matter to you becauseā¦ well, Iām the same, I suppose. I donāt think anyoneās picked me first either.ā
āYou stillā¦ even thinking that I just- I just didnāt care about you, or your feelings orā¦ or anything at all, you stillā¦ā Regulus scrunched up his nose, ducking his head to catch Bartyās eye, āYou still would have picked me first?ā
Barty nodded, āDone anything for you.ā
āOh.ā Regulus whispered, shaking his head, āBartyā¦ā
āYeah?ā Barty asked, swallowing a large lump in his throat.
Regulus kisses him. No thoughts, no warnings, no nothing at all. He just leans forward and kisses him right on the mouth.
Barty pulls away first, almost immediately, wide eyed and startled, āWhat the fuck did you do that for?ā
āI donāt know.ā Regulus muttered, touching his lips, āYou justā¦ Iā¦ you love me, andā¦ fuck, Barty. Youāre my best friend.ā
āYeah.ā Barty nodded, thereās water in his eyes now, and Regulus can tell heās trying to hold it back, āAnd you just kissed me. Please donāt- donāt do that. Iāmā¦ I canāt handle that, Reg. I can handle us being friends, even though itās driving me mad, butā¦ I just- I canāt-ā
āWell, donāt you want to be more?ā
āFucking hell, Regulus.ā Barty leers back.
āWhat?ā Regulus scoffs.
āYou canāt just fuckingā¦ donāt say that.ā He shakes his head, taking a moment to compose himself, āDonāt be stupid, orrite. I canāt fuckingā¦ I love you, Reggie. I canāt handleā¦ possibilities because Iām justā¦ Iām gonna drive myself crazy thinking about them. And thatās not good.ā
āIāve never had someone love me before, Barty.ā Regulus whispers, āIāve never had someoneā¦ I want- I want to chose you too. Youāre my best friend, and I already do choose you. But I want to do it more. I want toā¦ please?ā
āI donāt understand, Reg.ā Barty whispered back.
Regulus took his hand, smoothing his fingers over Bartyās rigid knuckles. Theyāre rough and scarred, just as they always are. Just as Regulus knows them to be.
āI donāt really either, Barty.ā He admits, āI never knew you felt that way, and Iāve never thought about it- you- us. Iāve never thought about us like that before, but Iā¦ I can picture it.ā
Barty closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.
āIām not trying to hurt you, Barty. I donāt want to lead you on. I want to try. Donāt you want to try?ā
Barty keeps his eyes sealed shut and he shakes his head no, āWhat happens when you get bored of me? What- what happens when Potter comes crawling back to you? What happens when you realise Iām fuckingā¦ more insane than you thought? Iād- donāt tempt me, Regulus, because I meant what I said, Iād do anything for you.ā Bartyās breath trembles, āIād kill him, Iād kill them both. Iād kill all of them, just to make you happy. So you never feel like a second choice to them ever again- I- I mean it, Regulus.ā
āI know.ā Regulus breaths, and it scares him, what Bartyās saying, because he does know. Itās not just words. But those words arenāt the part that scare him, itās the fact that he likes it that does. It makes him want. āI know, Barty. And I know that if I hurt you, truly, truly hurt you like this, youād make my life a living hell. I know.ā
āWhat about Potter?ā Barty asks, trying to mask tears of his own, āDonāt you love him?ā
āMaybe.ā Regulus admits, regretfully so, āBut I donāt want to. Heād neverā¦ he could never love me the way you could anyway. The way that I need.ā
āAnd how do you need it?ā
āTo be your first choice.ā Regulus whispered, āHow do you need it, Barty?ā
Barty took a deep breath, thinking about it for a moment. He looked up at Regulus with a pout and hopeful eyes, āI just want to be good enough for love before anything else.ā
Regulus smiles, āYou are.ā
Barty shakes his head.
āYou are.ā Regulus confirms, āTo me, you are.ā
Barty sniffles, āDo you love meā¦ like that?ā
Regulus sighs, āNā¦ no.ā He scolds himself for the truth, because it seems to shatter Bartyās heart to pieces. āBut I want to, Bartyā¦ I want to love you the way you do me. And I think I will. You just have to let me.ā
āReally?ā Barty sobs.
Regulus nods, āWill you let me?ā
Barty nods and leans back in, and Regulus kisses him again. They both had wet cheeks, and headaches, and heartaches from crying, but they kiss anyway. And Regulus cries again, for hopefully the last time, because Barty kisses like he never wants to stop.
Regulus has never been kissed like that before.
Regulus has never been loved before.
He thinks with Barty, he might just be enough.
ā
ā
ā
Bartylus shippers unite.
This oneās so angsty Iām sorry but I canāt help it and yerr Reggie kinda has misogynistic views which is gross but itās the fucking 70ās and look at his parents. I USUALLY write them all to be better than that and not arseholes but I wanted to make this one hurt.
Also I donāt think Iāve written from Reggieās pov before sooooo that was interesting.
Idk I liked this. Let me know your thoughts :)
Read here on ao3
If you want to read more of my stuff you can find it all here :))
Tagging everyone that expressed interest in the angsty bartylus one shot lmao: @lapassemirroir @mayflywrites @garlicbread4ever @moonyluv-s @managingmischeif @stxr-bxy @the-lionsheart @crimsonlovebartylus
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