#but the early part of the season i feel like i was less religious about it. i have no memory of miami

[probayern]

tagged by clara @userhamilton my beloved to do f1 wrapped <3

considered only putting lewis on the drivers but ill give up spots 4 and 5. vb for being a lesbian icon all year and lando bc. i feel like we all know im a lando girlie at this point

i have no idea who has/hasnt done this and also i feel like im blanking on who watches f1 but. i guess ill tag @mrcusarmstrong @44prop @fabioquartararhoe and @leclerrari

[chirpsythismorning]

I feel like a big part of the reason Anti Bylers are so aggressive is because this is the first time in mainstream media where there's a chance that the main couple of the show may end up being mlm.

Not only is there a likelihood that the main couple will be gay, it will come after years of these fans assuming that the cliche, safe straight ship was going to sail from start to finish.

If you look at the "predictions" these individuals have for season 5, which honestly have less to do with narrative direction and more to do with what they want, you'll always catch a certain undertone to what they're saying:

"The heterosexual, white male audience is the default for media. We will allow the wlw ship, so long as it has limited screen time. We will accept Will surviving, and even allow him to have an acceptance arc. But you will not receive queer rep at the expense of a ship that we are nostalgic for. The straight male audience is the one that matters, and we will be represented by the main couple in the show."

My favorite is when they’re asked what they hope for Mike and El in s5, only to list off qualities of Mike and Will’s dynamic. I legit saw someone say that they hoped they finally took the time to talk through their problems (oh so you’re admitting they never do..) and that we’ll actually get to see them be a team…

Like, do you hear yourselves?

I would actually like to read off their play by play of how they imagine s5 going down. Not just their wishes but like what they literally imagine happening over the course of the season, episode by episode.

And I’m talking the confident milkvans ones that are like super hostile about it. I wanna see what they hypothesize will happen in early s5 related to Mike and El… I don’t think I could keep it together if it is anything along the lines of them instantly making up and being happy for the rest of the season… 😳🤣

They just don’t realize how dumb that sounds.

S4 created conflict and hasn’t settled it. It was considered the beginning of the end, meaning those parts are going to fit perfectly together. If Mike and El were lacking romantically more than ever before in s4, don’t expect that to change much…

And gentle reminder that rewatch value is everything. If milkvans have to skip 3 eps in s1 bc they’re not together or fighting, skip all of s2 bc they’re separated, skip most of s3 bc they broke up in the second episode, skip most of s4 bc they separated in the third episode…. What does that fucking tell you?? They are not being prioritized for rewatch value, that’s what. Whereas byler is. (Bylers also are capable of watching milkvan scenes religiously… I can’t say the same about milkvans being capable of handling more than one second of rewatching a byler scene. And it’s bc they know if they watch it the mental gymnastics they gotta go through to convince themselves nothing romantic is going on is near impossible…)

Byler endgame is going to make the rewatch for the entire series hit, while milkvans, even with a hypothetical endgame would probably watch s1 and s5 and say the rest doesn’t matter. Do they think that’s how the show is supposed to be watched?

With one season left, they should have been hoping that monologue wasn’t in s4, but instead s5. Bc now how can those two one up that? They simply can’t. It was put there to show that they’ll never progress beyond this point. Nothing will ever top it. This is as good as it gets and yet, they still lost. What should that tell you?

What are they gonna just repeat that monologue in s5, but have mike say it 20x and THIS TIME it works?? Yay? Like there’s literally nothing satisfying about that in the least.

Can’t say I wish bad for ppl that simply like Mike and El and are bummed that they’re starting to lose hope. That as a basic idea is like whatever. I don’t like seeing ppl sad. Even if I told off a milkvan directly, seeing them like feeling depressed afterwards, does make me feel bad.

But when it comes to the hostile ones, people literally resorting to harassing directly with complete strangers unprompted and threatening to dox, over people merely theorizing? Like?? Was it ever that serious?

If we’re so delusional and we’re just setting ourselves up for disappointment, why not wait to say I told you so when it’s all said and done, if you’re so sure? Why dedicate so much of your time trying to discourage people on the other side? Unless it somehow qualms doubts you have?…

What makes this whole situation such bullshit, is that if this were a queerbait situation, you still shouldn’t be out here being hurtful like literally spouting off how you can’t wait for people to experience getting queerbaited? Like it’s fucking weird? The prominence of queerbaiting is literally referring to show runners taking advantage of fans, making them think it’ll happen, even encouraging it, and then ripping it away, usually ending in a bury your gays situation. That is the norm in the industry and it’s only now within the last few years starting to change in mainstream.

The hypocrisy of it all, is that they think we should just accept what they believe is the only possibility, queer-bait. But you know if the roles were reversed, which they inevitably will be when s5 drops, they’re going to be playing the victim, saying nonsense like if queerbaiting is bad then so is straightbating!! and it’s just going to be so out of touch and pathetic.

It’s not the same. Whatsoever. And the fact that they can’t see that, that one result is lazy writing and one is epic subversion, and are literally making a mockery out of the situation, convinced they’re right bc they have history on their side and gays should just be used to never getting their way and THATS okay to them?

Like it’s almost painful to watch. Especially knowing the 180 they’re gonna pull when they end up in the situation they convinced themselves we were gonna be in.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

I'm hopeful that Beth is coming, but one question I have after reading all your theories is why did it take this long to bring her back? Wouldn't it have been better for the story had they not shot her in the first place? That way she could've been reunited with Maggie and Glenn too.

I'm also curious to hear your thoughts on whether or not you think this was the original intention for Beth’s story (ie having her go missing for several years). I know she was originally supposed to be killed off in the prison arc by some serial killer dude but I mean after that. Personally, I've always felt like she was supposed to be with Daryl romantically, but then for some reason, they changed it.

Oh man. That's a lot of questions. I have lots to say about all of this. Let's dive in.

In terms of her arc in general, I do think Gimple more or less always planned it this way. They may not have had it specifically in mind when they brought her in for S2, but Gimple had an inkling, in my opinion. Maybe he didn't know exactly how things would play out, but her suicide arc was his baby, and he knew he wanted to take this character from a place of extreme weakness to one of extreme strength.

In S3, he was not the showrunner. If they'd decided to kill off Beth as they'd planned, he probably wouldn't have had any control over that. Thankfully, they changed direction. And the next season, Gimple was officially showrunner and could do whatever he wanted with the arc. And, NOT coincidentally, that's when Beth came from and center and we got the Bethyl hug in 4x01. So, I think the instant Gimple was officially in charge, Bethyl was officially a thing.

Side Note: You could argue--and many have--that they might have had plans for Beth and Daryl as early as S3. Because in 3x01, they officially shut down the idea of Caryl being a romantic thing, and clearly showed Daryl staring at Beth as she sang.

There's no way to know how extensive their plans were then, but I think, even if they were planning to kill her off via Axel then, they were still going to make it a huge loss for Daryl. Even if it hadn't been what it developed into in S4, it would still have been a matter of him being heart broken to lose her. They would have talked about the loss of her music and such.

To this day, one of my favorite scenes in the whole series is when Beth starts singing Hold On at the prison and they clearly show both Daryl and Merle staring at her. Something about Beth's music captivated both the Dixon boys. And I don't mention Merle in a gross, he-was-in-love-with-her kind of way. I think it's more that they didn't grow up with anything like wholesome music, so when she started singing, it mesmerized them.

Back to your questions.

So, in short, it feels to me like Gimple always planned it that way--as a romance between the two of them--but he probably didn't know at the beginning if he'd actually be able to do the story that way, because he wasn't in charge. He had to let things happen organically, sort of ride wave of all the problems they had with showrunners in S3, and know that he couldn't be overly possessive about anything.

But when the chips fell after S3, with him as showrunner and Andrea killed off, BOOM! Bethyl was born. Or at least, it was greenlighted.

So, in a very general sort of way, the reason for her arc is the resurrection theme. They have used this as a theme since the very beginning. It's built into a zombie tale. In the Christian religion, resurrection is a very wholesome, sacred part of the dogma. And in general, even for other religions or non-religious people, it's seen as a good and miraculous thing. Death = loss and tragedy, so being reunited with that lost loved one is a good thing.

Of course, things like vampires and zombies are the horror-genre's take on it.

So, because the whole story of TWD is about a twisted resurrection of the dead, the thing that compliments that is seeing resurrections of the living from time to time. That's why the TWDU so often tries to make us think a character has died, but then it brings them back. It's all thematic. They almost build all their story arcs around that.

So, in terms of Beth, I think Gimple just wanted to make her the ultimate resurrection arc. And they wanted to build it around Daryl and his love life because he's the fan favorite and they wanted to give him an epic romance.

That's why they pretended to kill her off and not have her reunite with people to begin with. It was the long play on a massive resurrection arc. And also, they needed to get through all the comic book material before they ventured into stories and characters that weren't in the comic books, and that were 100% their creations (which goes for both Beth and Daryl).

As to why it took so long, that's more complex. I think they probably originally planned for it to be several seasons--like 4 or 5--but things got in the way and pushed it back. Technology changed, the logistics of telling the main stories from the comic books got complicated, and of course then there was Covid. So, I do think it's taken several years longer to get around to her return than they originally planned.

So yeah. Hope that answers your questions! Xoxo! 💌😋

[gardenerian]

Do you have any headcannons on Ian and religion? Like do you think he believes in any god or is it just when he's manic? It seems like it might have a lot to do with fear. When he had yevgeny he was asking the cops if Jesus sent them to take his baby. I find that interesting

oh boy howdy wow wow wow hello! what a Q, what a Q. and do i have an A? i... don't know. but i sure do have some THOUGHTS.

getting my charlie kelly on under the cut:

okay. so.

ian is someone who does not do well with uncertainty, right? so much of his story is pushing and reaching and grasping for answers. in his relationships, with his sense of self, for his future.

i think he does look to things bigger or grander than himself for order and meaning, but it's not god (at first). it's things like the allegiance to serve, or the oath he takes as an EMT.

we don't seen much religion in early shameless, except for the odd (sarcastic) reference to irish catholicism or to stealing from/scamming their church. they have some (if minor) relationship with the place, and i do have a headcanon that they may have spent some time there pre-series as a place to get food/stay warm.

so when ian gets to his s5 manic episode, i think that's where the foundation of that delusion would lie, or at least, the vocabulary for what he's afraid is happening? jesus, gabriel, and demons stealing yevgeny is such a specific vision, i would think he had some religious grounding to come to that conclusion.

religious delusions are incredibly common in mania, even if a person is not particularly religious. and i totally agree with you that ian's is triggered by fear. the last thread kind of snaps in that moment. his paranoia is ramped up until it reaches the only end it really can - crashing down.

and we don't see religion for ian again until monica dies. ian turns to his job as an EMT and his relationships to help him make sense of the world. but losing mickey and monica all at once... he's lost at the start of s8. and i think the mania and religion are a little more closely intertwined in this episode. it appears far before the breaking point, and they kind of go hand in hand.

ian spends half the season looking for something to help him feel better and when he finds it, he locks in. trevor, the kids he helps, the shelter, the pastor, the religious movement - it all becomes this warped mission for ian. and it's both way bigger than him and largely self-serving. he's actively reading the bible and finding a calling that he believes is his alone.

the delusion here is less about paranoia and terror, and more about righteousness, grandeur, and sensing a calling - it's filling a void and lifting him higher than he can handle. but i will still argue there is still fear laced in it. fear is a powerful motivator for ian, it always has been.

and i think the s8 episode had a long, difficult recovery. one thing i'm always wishing we had was the mourning period - there is a grief that follows losing a delusion like that. we see it just a bit, with ian still looking for shim back at home. to have such strong conviction, only to suddenly face the reality that it was, in fact, a symptom of mental illness... that hurts. and to go to prison for it? yikes.

so i do wonder how ian let go of religion. does he purposefully not mention it again, or is this episode another victim of the show's goldfish memory? how does he explain it all to mickey? is the shame compounded by this religious aspect?

it doesn't play a role in their wedding, or ian's sense of right and wrong, it doesn't guide him after prison. so in canon.... you can say it's just gone. maybe it recedes until the energy returns? i don't know.

in my head, though... it's more complicated than that. i don't know if i think that ian actively believes in abrahamic religion. but i think there is certainly part of him that wrestles with the big questions and might find the idea of god (in whatever form) comforting at times.

i think they all grew up too cynical to think that someone is specifically listening to their prayers but... i don't know. in my head, ian at least remains sensitive to the idea of god, and won't bring himself to write it off entirely, even if he's not actively praying or searching for it.

i have rambled enough! what do you think?

[iworshipsappho]

aaah tack for the tag!! @rosetintedgreyspaces :D <33

Favourite colour and why? ooh red and honestly idk i think i was like 4 or smth when i went oooh blood = cool and blood is red therefore red=cool and i love that for me

Five comfort movies: oof uhh red white and royal blue for sure yeah, maan karate,vip and remo are some really feel good tamil movies for me and uhh badhaai do :33

Favourite season and why? oof definitely has to be whatever we have from october to january here. literally all the other months are hot humid pressure cookers :')

Favourite book(s): YOU CAN'T MAKE ME PICKKKKK. but like the obvious answers here are RWRB, the song of achilles, one last stop, ooh room on the roof by ruskin bond one of my comfort books for sure, oh and this one book i read called my life as a book, changed my life as a kid honestly. other than that we have the toa series and uhh the iliad and odyssey which i havent gotten to yet but do love

favourite aesthetic(s)and why? mmmm im a big fan of dark academia but tbf i do love most aesthetics in varying multitudes, never really got much into it

Favourite genre and why? genre as in music or media?? idk in media it is definitely queer romance atm used to be mystery and mythology. and for music i more or less listen to anything and everything thats vibey

Favourite clothes style: baggy tshirts and shorts >>>>> but thats usually for at home. when i head out ive been layering a baggy tshirt over a white shirt paired with brown pants/jeans off late. layering is one of my favourite styles for sure, the whole academia vibes or the 'teenage dirtbag' style is what i usually go for ig

Favourite music genres: ohhh music here, yeah as i said if its good me likey

Favourite artists: oof long list coming up :]] uhh taylor swift, omar rudberg, the front bottoms, wilbur soot as well as lovejoy>>>, jeff satur my beloved bottom, cavetownnnnnn, conan gray ofc, queen and then uhh mitski

Favourite song(s): i for the life of me cant possibly pick now can i???? BUT rn ive been obsessed with theseee

Favourite fandoms: young royals fandom my beloved, closely followed by mcyt bc that was my firstever proper fandom and fuck yeah for that!!! (still very much into that so les gooo qsmp and tommyinnit my beloved) and well im not really part of any fandoms save for these and rwrb tbf? oh how could i forget!!!! KINNPORSCHE!!!! love that for us

Hobbies: oof uhh reading, writing and playing minecraft or watching cubitos on minecraft probably lmao

Care language you give: i think i usually show my care in the form of words i think? pretty sure yeah

Care language you like to receive: mmmm physical touch <333

Are you an introvert/extrovert/ambivert: ehhh its pretty fluctuating. used to be introverted, getting more and more out of my shell off late. so ambivert it is ig

Morning or night person? again idfk at this point man what even is time anymore fjdksgksfg uhh night person probably tho i like satying up faaar more than i like waking up early

City, country or suburbs and why? uhhhh never really thought about it? idk on one hand i do want the quiet of the country but idk if ill survive with the constant bustle of a city ykn. and never really experienced to much of suburban life except for when i lived in australia for a few months so yeah idk

Favourite time of day and why? that time between like 5-8. the hours go by so quick and hte fucking sunset etc etc

Do you have any religious beliefs(don’t have to answer if not comfortable)? mmm vaguely religious from time to time

What does your ideal family look like to you? again its faaar too much in the future for me to have given it a thought but but ik for sure that ive always wanted kids, so thats the only definitive there

Dream future: mmm im an author lving in a little cottage just surrounded by overflowing love and creativity and nature etc etc. very ruskin bond-esque

Dream place to visit: greece and rome for sureeee. and thenn uh nyc just for the vibes of it ykn also uhh sweden for reasons ;)

Favourite type of nature: mmmm rainforests my beloved. absolutely love the earthy smell and just how fucking alive it is man like >>>>> oh also the fucking hills of north east india. lomls would drop everything and go there again no questions asked. and ofc beaches. be aches are just based

Favourite habitat (eg jungle, desert, tundra etc): mmm i have a special place in my heart for tundras and the savannah idk why. i just love that life fucking THRIVES despite ykn the harsh(er) conditions

How would you describe yourself in 4 words: dumb, enthusiastic, creative and uhhhh complicated

If you could be another thing on earth what would it be: oooo idfkkkk theres just sooooo many options i could literally be a fucking manatee!!!! or a vampire or or a mudskipper!!!!! wait can i be food?!?!?! id be garlic man ajskdsfl the fucking irony of wanting to be both a vampire and a garlic clove oooh id love to be a grapefruit ngl. omg i could be an actual monkey???? id be one of those spider monkeys man so fucking cool. gosh i could just oughhhh creatures and inanimate shit man. so cool

Favourite type of weather: i loveeeee thunderstorms. top tier weather. as long as its not during deepavali. if it rains when im trying to burst my crackers? im sorry but earth can perish /j

If you could travel anywhere right now we here would it be: is my girlfriend's house a valid answer? bc thats where i wanna be right now baksdflsd. uhh idk tbh maybe like oooh i wanna go to puducherry ngl i miss the beachhhh even tho i literally just went like a week ago man. its right here-

Do you have any fears (serious or otherwise): ehhh not as far as im aware. not materialistic ones atleast. ive always had a fear of being forgotten or left behind

Dream job: uhh a writer for sure

Would you be a pirate/vampire/cowboy/astronaut/werewolf/wizard/witch/knight/cryptid and why? VAMPIREVAMPIREVAMPIREVAMPIRE!!!!! i literally get to suck blood in the most homoerotic way possible- what more could i literally ask for ahfjdsflk pirates/knights are a close second tho fucking love them could go on a whole tirade if i wasnt to tired for it

tagging uhh @elblorbo @stygianirondiangelo @foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland @daylightsimon @desi-yearning @altruistic-meme @spaghett-onaplate @mirabel-on-a-bicycle

💜

[a-b-riddle]

Taken Chapter Eight: Spooky Season & Valid Reasons

Warnings: Religious Trauma, Cult, Forced Marriage, Kidnapping, Stalking, Stockholm Syndrome, Non-Con, Dub-Con. Violence against women. Threats and intimidation. Childhood Trauma.

Things between Elizabeth and Bucky eventually became serious quicker than she expected but, honestly, it was perfect. The sex was mind-blowing and he treated her better than she could ever imagine.

After the first time, Elizabeth snuck off to the pharmacy while Bucky went out to go see Sam and Steve. She had lied to Bucky, too afraid to admit her lie about the IUD and got put on the pill. Without health insurance, it was all she could afford through the department of health.

Feeling as though it still wasn't enough at times, she requested he wear a condom. She voiced her concerns about ectopic pregnancy and she didn't like the feeling of cum running down her legs. It was 'less messy'.

Bucky was annoyed, but obliged. Things were still getting ready for them to make the next step in their relationship, so he would just have to wait a little longer.

They never split a bill, not letting his little bird pay for anything. Doors were always opened and he always took the opportunity to grab at her ass or give a playful swat. She would always blush and scold with him with a smile, but both of them knew she liked it.

The idea of being in a relationship no longer plagued her. Bucky had taken the time and effort to get know her better and earn her trust.

Two months since that night they finally succumbed to lust, they were laying on the couch watching 'Howl's Moving Castle', a movie she had always wanted to see, but felt silly doing so. I mean, after all, it was a cartoon, but Bucky didn't seem to make any remarks about her picking it out. It was her turn to pick their movie and fair is fair.

Bucky had fallen asleep first, having been up early in the morning training with Sam and Steve. Elizabeth was still reserved around them, but liked them nevertheless. She was laying against Bucky's chest beginning to fall asleep to the sound of his steady breathing and the deep beat of his heart.

She looked up, the bright screen illuminating his beautiful face. She never thought a man could be so beautiful and this one wanted her. Her.

Maybe this was it. Maybe this was her happily ever after.

That was the first time she thought she loved Bucky. She felt comfortable. She felt safe. And that was enough.

Once Bucky had made it perfectly clear Steve wouldn't be just barging in anymore, Elizabeth found herself wearing less and less around the apartment. At first it was short shorts. Then just a shirt and underwear.

Now she was lucky if she even bothered to put on a bra in the morning. Not that Bucky minded at all. It was just one less thing he had to worry about taking off of her. The more Elizabeth seemed to relax, the more assertive Bucky became.

It started off small. Asking her to do small things like pouring him a drink or helping him do something. Then it became 'let's do this for dinner' or 'take your hair down, baby'. Small nudges and directions she barely noticed.

They were planning a date night in, just as they did most Friday nights. She was leaned over the counter looking through her phone, trying to decide what she wanted to cook for dinner when Bucky came up from behind her.

His hands rested on her waist as he pushed against her.

"Steve is wanting to have us over for drinks tonight after dinner. You should wear that dress. The blue one you just got." Bucky loved picking out her clothes. She honestly didn't care what she wore as long as it was comfortable and he loved dressing up his little doll.

His breath tickled the back of her neck as his hands traveled down, gripping her ass. "And forget the panties." Bucky was definitely the most passionate man she had ever been with. Granted her roster was only two, but still.

He took her in nearly every part of his apartment already, sans the balcony. But to not wear any panties to meet his friends for drinks? That was too scandalous even for her.

"Are you sure?" She asked, hesitance in her voice. "What if they see?"

"That's the fun in it." Bucky loved her innocence. It's part of the reason he chose her. All the more fun to defile something so pure. All the more of a challenge. "Come on, baby." He urged.

She didn't say anything else, except to ask what time she should be ready.

She had worn the dress and Bucky didn't even bother to check if she had went without panties. The way she carefully walked, pulling at the hem of her long enough dress to ensure it stayed down.

She had to be mindful of every move she made, careful not to expose herself to Steve and Sam.

Bucky didn't even want the easy access. He just loved testing her limits and seeing that she was already listening so well, maybe their stay out of town won't be as long and tedious as it had been for Pepper and Tony.

She chose a Dirty Shirley for a drink, but 'could you go light on the vodka, please? Sam was playing bartender and she still had dinner to make. Plus she needed a clear head to be mindful of her bare pussy touching Steve's couch.

She had just been thankful it wasn't leather.

"I should go ahead and start on dinner."

"I'll be up in a second." He kissed her hand, before letting her scurry off.

"Gotta say I'm impressed, Buck." Steve said. "Can't say I didn't doubt you though."

"So when are you going to the house?" Sam asked getting up to fetch himself another beer.

"Probably closer to Thanksgiving. As far as I know she doesn't have any plans so it will be good timing. Stay up there through Christmas, but that's still like 3 months away so I have some time to plan it."

"I still think it's weird how she has no connections." Sam remarked. "No friends, no family. Well besides that one co-worker, but I think Thor is taking up most of her time now."

"I haven't pried and I honestly don't care." Bucky said. "My best guess is her parents were fuck ups and she left. That or they're six feet under. Either way, the less for me to deal with when we leave."

They talked for about 30 more minutes before Bucky finally decided to head back to his floor. He did have dinner and dessert waiting for him after all. "You did put that powder I gave you into her drink? All of it?"

"Sure did." Sam responded raising his glass. It was some new kind of pollen Bruce had been working on. With any luck his sweet little birdie would be waiting for him bent over on all fours.

When he walked in, Elizabeth was bending over to put a tray in the oven giving him a clear view of her pussy and ass. He instantly grew hard at the sight before him and imagined him coming home every evening to that.

His perfect little wife in a short dress with no panties, having dinner cooking giving him enough time to give her a quick fuck before diving into their food.

She didn't even hear him come in, too focused on the buzzing between her thighs. She braced her hands against the counter and began to rub her legs together, trying to create any friction she could.

Bucky silently approached her, careful not to make a sound. He listened to her breathing speed up as the heat began to pool around her pussy. He flipped the hem of her dress up, revealing her bare ass. She had little time to register what he was doing before he dropped down to his knees and spread her ass with a hand on each cheek.

"Good girl." He praised before pursing his lips and spitting on her asshole.

"Bucky!" She squealed trying to pull herself away, found herself stuck between his body and the counter. Not giving her enough time to react, he buried his face and started to eat her ass while two of his fingers pumped into her from behind.

Elizabeth's head began to spin. This was wrong. This was so wrong, but she could help the way her toes began to curl and how she found herself pushing her ass against Bucky's face.

They never discussed anal. Bucky never even skirted around the idea of playing with her ass until now. At first, he came up stairs with the desire to fuck her next to the hot stove while their dinner cooled off.

But seeing her puckered little asshole just there for him. Well, he couldn't resist.

"So fucking sweet, baby." He praised. "You gonna cum for me, Doll?" He pulled away, giving her ass a hard squeeze. "You gonna cum on my face?" He didn't give her time to respond as his fingers curled inside of her, scratching that spot inside of her that always made her unravel for him.

"Bucky!" She squealed as an orgasm quickly took her. Bucky smirked. The powder was definitely in her sister. His sweet girl coming from just having her ass licked. God, before the end of the night she have both of their juices running down her legs.

Not wasting anymore time, Bucky pulled his cock from his pants, not even taking them off. He always wanted to fuck her like this. This is how good little whores get fucked.

Although he couldn't tell her that yet. She was still too sensitive. He tested the waters, his thumb pressing hard circles against her tight hole, but never fully going in."Is this okay?" He asked, never ceasing his thrusts. "Just rubbing your tight little asshole?"

"No," She said too quickly before shutting her eyes. "No, yes. Yes. It's perfect." She corrected. "Sorry. I thought you asked if you needed to stop."

"Aw," he chided. "Can't think clearly with my cock inside you?" He asked. When she didn't respond, he reached with his vibranium hand to grab the back of her neck gently. "Say, pretty girl?" His tone mocking.

"Bucky." She cried, her head thrown back, legs shaking beneath her.

"Say it." He snapped his hips faster, quickening his pace. "Tell me you can't think when I fuck you like this?"

"I-I can't-" was all she was able to get out before another orgasm was pulled from her body. Her walls tightened around him causing Bucky to succumb to his own release.

"That's my girl." He praised. "So fucking perfect. Fuck, fuck, fuck." Bucky's movements stilled as he came inside her, his grip tightening on the back of her neck.

After several movements of savoring the feel of her, he slipped out. Almost instantly she straightens herself.

"Bucky." She moaned out in displeasure. "You didn't put on a condom." She gave him a disapproving glare as his cum began to run down her legs.

"Shit." He cursed, a fake grimace of guilt on his face. "Sorry, baby. I just got wrapped up in the moment." The lie fell easily from his lips. "I mean, I come smell this amazing meal. You bent over without panties, wearing this pretty little dress for me." His hands went to her waist, pulling her into him.

"I would have to be a Saint to look the other way." He defended. "And, God." His eyes grazed over her body just as he did the first time he saw her. "You're too fucking perfect."

Something began to scream inside of her that this wasn't right. But she couldn't deny the feeling of praise. Being called good, perfect.

After living a life where she could do nothing right, with Bucky it seemed like she could do no wrong. Everything she did earned her praise and she loved it.

She promised herself she would never again rely on the approval of others. After everything that happened to her, she couldn't afford to make that mistake again.

But Bucky.

God, Bucky...

She felt good and sexy and smart and kind and cherished. He adored her, practically worshipped her. And maybe, she thought, that wasn't such a bad thing.

Months had passed and it was more of the same. She never went back to her apartment since her job never took her back on, the establishment closing indefinitely. The messages from Calliope were few and far between. They both made plans to meet up although never following through. Calliope had started seeing someone and she confided in Elizabeth, seeing as she was the only friend who knew what it was like dating during a quarantine.

Wanda and Nat were busy in their own bubble and came around sparingly, but still gave Elizabeth the 'girl time' Bucky thought she needed. And who else would be better than two people he trusted?

She finally had agreed to let Bucky pay off the rest of her lease, seeing as even if she did move out, she wouldn't have a source of income besides him. It bothered her at times. At one point she started looking for jobs. She made it through one shift as a barista. When she got home, Bucky offered to just pay her whatever she would be making working at some coffee shop if she would just stay home with him.

She saw it as Bucky just wanting to take care of her. In reality, Bucky didn't need her making any new connections. Their trip for out of town was just around the corner and nearly everything was in place.

The weather was beginning to cool down as October approached. Birdie never was allowed to celebrate Halloween as a kid so when she finally became an adult, she soaked up everything she could. Even despite the frigid chill in the air, she loved fall.

She liked the decorations and the smell of fall-inspired candles. Bucky learned that very quickly when she went and got several for the apartment. He came back from training to a home that smelled of warm apple cider.

He let her indulge in decorating for the holidays, reveling in the the joy it brought her. Bucky never understood the term 'happy life, happy wife' until now. Seeing her getting so happy over buying something as simple as a plastic pumpkin was money well spent in his opinion.

Birdie weren't too keen on super scary movies, but she did like classic horror and the animated ones. I

On their weekly date night which happened to fall on Halloween, Bucky had turned on the original Halloween since he had never seen it. Birdie had made the popcorn and settled underneath a fuzzy blanket she had ordered off of Amazon. A warm cinnamon scented candle filled the room.

The scene with Michael outside of the detached garage came up when Birdie made a startling comment. "He's kind of hot though." Almost as if it were a knee-jerk reaction, Bucky pulled away from her, staring at her in disbelief.

"Excuse me?" He didn't say it as though he was jealous of her finding another man attractive. He said it as though he was so in shock at his innocent little bird exhibiting some interest in a kink. He needed her to further clarify her statement.

"I mean," she shrugged. "I don't know. Same thing with Ghostface from Scream. They aren't scary, it's just kind of hot."

"First of all 'Scream' is a scary movie. Second of all, what is kind of hot? Killers?"

"No," she held up her hand and straightened herself up as if she were about to give a academic lecture. "I have a theory. If you watch a scary movie enough times, it stops being scary. But the mask thing. And it's on TikTok, okay? Other people think they're hot."

Jennifer's Body was the next movie on the line up. It wasn't a 'classic' in terms of age, but it was still a really good one in Birdie's opinion.

When the credit rolled, they decided it was time to turn in for the night. She blew out the candle, gathering the empty cups as he picked up the bowl with only kernels remaining.

When they got to the kitchen, she asked Bucky if he liked it since it was mainly geared toward female viewers. She didn't know a lot of men who liked Jennifer's Body with the exception being that they got to watch Megan Fox.

"Yeah." He said. "Although, as I guy I would prefer the blonde more than the brunette."

"I thought you didn't care if someone was a blonde or brunette?" She narrowed her eyes teasingly, but growing worried. Did Bucky not like her brown hair?

"I don't," he explained. "but based on looks alone, I like the blonde."

"You think she's hotter than Jennifer?" She asked almost skeptical.

"Listen," he said emptying the bowl of kernels into the trash. "I like them innocent, okay? And I'm not going to be lectured by someone who wants to fuck Michael Meyers."

"Don't be ridiculous." Birdie rolled your eyes. "He is like 6 foot 7, I'm like a third of his height that doesn't make any sense. I don't want to fuck him... I want him to fuck me." She squealed as Bucky charged at her, tossing the empty bowl in the sink. She sprinted out of the kitchen and into the living room.

Mia had taken over their spot on the couch and essentially ignored both of them as they played their game of chase. Elizabeth giggled as he took her wrists and pinned them against the wall with his metal hand.

He leaned closer to her, his breath tickling her face.

"So you're attracted to psychopaths?" If she hadn't trusted him so much, the sentence would have frightened her. But she knew Bucky. He wouldn't hurt her and he definitely wasn't a psychopath. He was intimidating on looks alone, but otherwise harmless.

"I honestly think it's the mask and knife thing." She joked. "I've always wanted a stranger to stab me to death."

"Really?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. Knife play?

"I was just kidding, Bucky." She tries to her wrists free.

"I'm not judging." He put his hands up defensively, letting your hands go."but if that's something you want to try."

"A mask?" You questioned.

"Or a half one." He planted his hands on her hips, still pressing her against the wall.

"I like seeing your face." She said pushing his hair back and looking into his hypnotic blue eyes. "Besides, I love how safe you make me feel." She was craning her neck up to look up at him, like she always had to do if she wasn't wearing heels. He smiled down at her and kissed her forehead. "I don't think I would want to role play you hurting me."

"There's other stuff we can try." He assured her, his thumbs rubbing against her exposed skin. "Nothing that makes you feel scared." She could have melted right then. She often questioned why her? How did she get so lucky?

That night he tied her up. Made her wait anxiously as he peppered her body with kisses in all the places except for the one she desired most. She was dripping with desire by the time he slid inside of her.

October officially ended and it was first weekend in November. Bucky had woken her up to the smell of pancakes and bacon, basically the only thing he cooked  now and days.

She was wearing one of his shirts that had stopped mid thigh and nothing else. She looked freshly fucked from the night before and Bucky wanted nothing more to have a morning like this every morning.

"So I was thinking that you and I go for a little weekend get away." Bucky said drinking his coffee. "There is a cabin that Tony owns and he said we could use it this weekend."

He handed her an empty mug so she could pour her own cup of coffee to her liking. She had just gotten some holiday creamer whereas Bucky preferred a plain black coffee.

"Sure." She beamed. The idea of going out of the city just the two of them seemed wonderful. "Our first vacation as a couple."

"I wouldn't call it a 'vacation'." He corrected. "Just us getting a way from the rest of the world. Lets leave this Wednesday then come back Monday morning?"

"Sounds perfect." She closed her eyes as he kissed her forehead.

Days passed and it was time to leave. It was several hours of the city so they got an early-ish start. Bucky came back from his morning run with a Mia and a grande iced chai latte with apple brown sugar syrup just for her.

His hair was half up in a man-bun, but she never called it that (in front of him at least), and small droplets of sweat collected on his forehead. He said he needed to hop in the shower and the two of them could be on the way.

She felt like she was living a fairytale. Although she didn't mind taking Mia on a walk, it was so nice to sleep in. And she would never admit it to Bucky but the scent he had when he came back made her want to ride him like a stolen bike.

She packed lightly for the weekend, not expecting to go anywhere and packed enough of Mia's food to last until they returned back to the city.

Bucky took the M340 instead of his bike since they would have to take Mia and the luggage with them as well. It was nice drive and she couldn't deny how hot it was to see Bucky driving stick so easily.

It still felt so bizarre. Nearly a year had passed since the world basically ended and this was their first time really going out with the exception of picking up take out or grabbing groceries. That apartment had become their own fortress of solitude.

She could tell they were easily escaping the city from the landscape. Skyscrapers were replaced with trees. The leaves had began to change into warm hues of orange and red.

She gazed absent-minded out the window thinking about how the she somehow went from winter right back to fall. Everything had changed so much, yet she didn't go anywhere. She didn't do anything, or meet anybody new. But nothing was the same.

It was well into the afternoon by the time they reached the cabin. Bucky pressed in a code into the callbox to open up the iron gates that had to at least be 15 feet tall. The box pinged, and the gates opened. It seemed a bit excessive for a cabin in her opinion, except it wasn't.

The house was not the cabin by any means, but more so a mansion.

"Holy shit." She said staring at the vast estate.

"Easy there, sailor." He joked. He had mentioned it several times before, and as much as she tried to monitor her language, she slipped here and there.

"This is not a 'cabin', Bucky." She said with eyes wide, ignoring his reprehension. "I was expecting something smaller."

"Well for now, it's ours." His thumb made small circles on her thigh as he continued to drive up the gravel drive way. The sound of crunching rocks underneath the tires ceased when Bucky pulled the car around front. The two of them got out and Bucky went to the trunk to get the luggage. Mia hopped out of the car and immediately relieved herself in the grass.

The french country chateau styled house was something out of a magazine. It rested on several acres of green grass before being encompassed by deep thick forests. "2,000 acres all to ourselves." He said walking up behind her, a bag in each hand.

"Tony doesn't have securities cameras here does he?" She asked, her tone changing to one Bucky come to recognize as mischievous.

"Why?" He stopped in his tracks and narrowed his eyes.

"Because I don't want him to see certain things we do." He laughed. The two of them had been like rabbits ever since that night he made her cum from eating her ass.

"There is one in the garage, one in the entrance and one at the end of the driveway. He already warned me." Bucky explained, walking over to unlock the front door

"Well you just can't take me over the hood of the car then." She joked.

"Oh, I still plan to." Bucky winked. "Give Stark a bit of a show." She blushed at his crudeness but at the same time, she loved it. She loved how obsessed he was with her. His sweet words of affirmation and cuddles after always made her feel so safe and cherished.

Bucky took full advantage of the solitude of it being just the two of them. He took her anywhere he could. While breakfast was still cooling, he took her face down on the kitchen floor. Over the couch, in the shower, even on the desk in the study room. The two of them like teenagers, fucking any chance they could get. It had been pretty hot and heavy up until they got into the pool...

It was the last night of their stay. The two of them enjoyed a homemade pizza dinner which Bucky nearly ruined by taking a break to finger her over the kitchen's island almost not stopping to take it out of the oven.

They were torn whether or not to watch a movie or go for a swim. Birdie reasoned that they could watch movies when they went back to the city. So they both got into their swimming suits and stepped out into the cold air.

It was not an ideal evening for a night swim, but Tony of course had a heated pool so it wasn't bad when she was in the water. Bucky didn't know how to turn the pool lights on, bringing an eerie feeling to the water. "Why is it that whenever you swim in the pool at night it feels like there is a shark in the water?" She asked. "Is it just me or is that kind of a universal thing."

"No. Why? You scared?" He asked before dipping his head underneath the water.

"That's not funny, Bucky..." she said. The waters went still. "Bucky?" She couldn't see anything, not even a figure underneath the surface.

Birdie let out a squeal of surprise as he came out of the water and grabbed her.

"Don't worry, Doll," he said pulling her to him. Instinctively, she wrapped her legs around his waist. "I've got you."

He was already hard and pressing against her. Much to Bucky's dismay she wore a one piece so he had to settle for pushing it to the side before slipping his middle finger inside of her.

She gasped at the surprise entry. Even though his fingers were practically nothing compared to his girth, it still felt so good.

His face buried in her neck, placing delicate kisses on her soft skin. His hot breath felt nice compared to the chill that had taken over the air.

"Here?" She looked over into the woods. "Outside?"

"It's just us two." He said continuing to peck at her neck. His fingers continued to work their magic. But it wasn't enough. Even in the water she could feel how wet he was making her; her pussy becoming slick. She needed him.

Moaning her name, he pulled himself out of his swimming trunks. "God, I need you." She felt the tip of his cock pushing against her entrance.

"Bucky..." she said pushing him away. "We need to use a condom." He stared at her momentarily dumbfounded.

"Baby, we're in the pool and you're on birth control anyway." He tried to reason. She felt like she had contradicted herself. He had been right.

"Bucky, come on. I'm just trying to be safe."

"We've had sex a million other times without one and it's never been enough of a big deal for you to stop. Please baby."

"Well you're not inside me yet. You've always just gotten inside me and didn't have one on and didn't think I should press it." She held her hands against his chest. "I want you to wear a condom." She repeated. "I'm not asking for a lot."

"Fine." He said holding up his hands and sighing in the air. "Fuck it." She was taken back by his frustration in such a simple request.

"I don't understand what the issue is."

"The issue is I don't want to use one." He said. "You're on birth control and we have had sex multiple times without one. We don't use a condom every time and it's annoying you picking and choosing when you want to."

"Listen, this is our last night, can we not ruin it by arguing it?" She asked.

"I'm ruining it?" He placed his hand on his chest. "We were about to have sex and you literally put it to a halt because you wanted to wear a condom. We had sex in the kitchen, on the balcony," he began to count using his fingers of all the places they had sex. "and all of a sudden you want me to put on a condom in the only place where a condom wouldn't be ideal."

"It was in the moment." She repeated. "I'm supposed to be ovulating soon and I don't want to risk it."

"Don't want to risk it." He mocked. "Baby, I've been fucking you for months, most of the time without a condom. I don't want to wear one in the pool and I don't see what the big deal is. Unless you're fucking someone else." The allegation made her blood boil.

"How about this then." She said tilting her head to the side. "You can go fuck yourself." She quickly swam to the stairs of the pool, all while Bucky called for her to come back. Her teeth began to chatter as she stepped out into the crisp autumn air.

She nearly slipped on the marble flooring as she hastily went inside and up the stairs. Luckily, those were carpeted so she didn't have to worry about falling.

As angry as she was, he did really make her doubt her own wishes. He had been right. She was picking and choosing. But this wasn't normal of Bucky. The Bucky she knew who took things slow. This was the Bucky at the restaurant. The one who had no issue with letting his eyes creep over her body. The one who looked at her like a piece of meat he was ready to devour.

But maybe this is who he had been all the time?

She became so lost in her thoughts, she didn't even realize she had made it to the guest room. She was shaking by the time she locked the door behind her.

She stripped off the wet bathing suit and left it in the corner on the floor. She would normally have washed up after a swim, but at the moment she didn't give a shit.

All she wanted to do was crawl in the bed and cry at the fight that just occurred. At Bucky's behavior. At her own self-doubt.

Several hours passed on and Bucky didn't come into the room. He didn't knock on the door. He let her fester in her anger. The bastard. That night she hardly slept. She hoped in the silence of her heart that he didn't either.

Chapter Nine: True Colors

[journeydb]

October 31 2022 Barcelona

Happy Halloween! All Hallowed Eve, as it has been known throughout history, has been celebrated in one way or another in different parts of the world for millenia.

Unfortunately, it has become, as many things have been, corrupted by capitalism and greed. The consumerism of the holiday has clouded the original meaning of recognizing the veil between the world of the living and the world of the Spirits of our ancestors, honoring it, and maybe even passing through it.

Now Halloween is about buying or, less often, making costumes and dressing up in them then parading around to show them off. I do appreciate the creativity that goes into many costumes and I'm not knocking a chance to have fun with friends, as we do every year in our Zumba class. However, my feelings about capitalism and consumerism caused me to choose an unusual costume, based on one of Bruce and my favorite TV series "Money Heist" or, as it's called in Spain "Casa de Papel".

I dressed up as one of the bank robbers from the show, who are actually, in fact, (spoiler alert!) revolutionaries fighting the big banks and the military-industrial complex. I wore a Guy Fawkes mask, which is one of the masks worn by the bank robbers, the other being a mask of Salvador Dali.

If you've seen the show you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't seen the show I highly recommend that you do because it's AWESOME! It has inspired people all over the world to watch it religiously (pun intended) and also inspired many people to protest in the streets in the costumes from the show.

According to Screenrant.com:

"The red jumpsuits in Money Heist support the show's core theme of revolution. Red is a bold color, often associated with resistance. It's the color of blood, which is likely why it has symbolic connotations with violence, as well as passion. Red flags are commonly associated with revolutionary movements in real-life as well as in fiction — for example, in Les Misérables. The professor, the mastermind calling the shots behind the scenes, even states in season 1 that group isn't just targeting the Royal Mint in order to obtain money — it was an act of "resistance" against "the system." From the show's very beginning, the robbers' ethos has always contained an element of revolution.

The Salvador Dalí masks similarly serve as a symbol of resistance and national pride on Money Heist. Dalí is arguably the most important figure of the surrealist movement in the early 20th century; although the movement is typically associated with France, Dalí' was Spanish, and spent a significant portion of his life living in Spain. Like all surrealist art, Dalí's work was inherently rebellious — the surrealist movement sought to disrupt the norm. Like the robbers (and their red jumpsuits) in Money Heist, Dalí has become a symbol for revolution."

Unfortunately, although all that is true, it's also true, according to some sources, that Dali was an admirer of Hitler and the Nazis. So, some people have called him a fascist, which is not the ideal of the revolutionary which Money Heist is trying to portray.

According the The Guardian:

"Salvador Dalí was nicknamed ávida dollars ("eager for dollars") by his former friends the surrealists for abandoning idealism in favor of fame and money, and suspected of far worse. He was condemned by the group for his painting The Enigma of Hitler. He later wrote that Hitler "turned me on".

Now it turns out he was friends with Wallis Simpson, who has also been suspected of Nazi sympathies.... An FBI investigation in 1941 suggested Wallis Simpson shared Dalí's strange attraction to Nazism. She was said to have given information to Joachim von Ribbentrop, the Nazi foreign minister, during the German invasion of France. The FBI was told she had a relationship with Von Ribbentrop in London in 1936, and that he sent her 17 carnations every day to mark the number of times she slept with him.

Wallis Simpson and Dalí were both habitues of a brittle elite world that could flirt with Hitler as if the fate of millions of people were a sick joke. After the war, Dalí was happy and rich in Franco's Spain. "

Guy Fawkes, whose mask I wore today, was a revolutionary who died for his cause. His story from Work Rights Center:

"Historically speaking, Bonfire Night commemorates the failure of the Gunpowder Plot of 1605, during which a group of Catholic conspirators attempted to blow up the Houses of Parliament. Led by a man called Robert Catesby, the group of 13 conspirators united in their anger at King James I for failing to support greater religious tolerance to Catholics, whose freedoms had been oppressed by Protestants.

But the conspirators' plot was never to come to fruition, as an anonymous letter informed the Parliament of the group's radical plan, and guards were placed on alert. On the day of the plot, Parliament guards discovered Guy Fawkes with a rather incriminating fuse on his person! All co-conspirators were either killed resisting capture, or tried and executed. This included Guy Fawkes. 

Interestingly, Guy Fawkes' reputation has shifted from that of a traitor to that of a revolutionary hero. The change in perception is partially due to the 1980s graphic novel 'V for Vendetta' (and the consequent film of 2005), which depicts him as an anarchist fighting an authoritarian regime. In both novel and film, the antihero wears a stylized Guy Fawkes mask, which has since been adopted by protest groups such as the hacktivist group Anonymous, and The Occupy Movement who, in 2011, invited protesters to gather on 5th November to "rally again for our efforts to end corruption and social injustice."

Our gym was also decorated for Halloween.

Early this evening there was a Halloween at the community center of the residential community in which we live. It was really a party for the kids but some of the adults dressed up too.

Our little friends Paula, Julietta, and Valentina were there in pretty cool costumes so I posed with them and their dad, Michael.

I don't think this lovely lady realized that some people would consider her costume inappropriate and cultural appropriation but that isn't as touchy a subject in Spain as it is in the United States so she got away with it here.

I went home and made dinner because I needed to prepare for the Trick-or-Treaters who came to our door and there were actually a LOT of them!

[thedaveandkimmershow]

This is that part of the year where we historically try to apply more brakes and less gas.

We try to.

This is that part of the year where we try to react less, be more intentional, and try to figure out what don't we, what don't we have to do. To subtract rather than add to our schedules (a year-round challenge, of course).

We’re trying to at least attempt something that’s on purpose . Even as this year we try to connect with more friends than we could or would have in the past.

We wanna pull off something that looks like, yeah, we meant to do that.

All for good reason.

When we were first married, it was all gas all the time. There were lots and lots and lots and lots of obligations, of have-to's related to becoming part of each other’s families. So it was a lot of this... a lot of that... and a To-Do List that never got shorter.

We were running around...

And that was never gonna stop.

Never.

Not even on Christmas Day.

And yes. There were implications. As in it became tough to see Christmas underneath all the stuff in which we wrapped it, all the obligations both external and internal we piled on top of it. So it became impossible for us to experience the celebrated and much-touted Christmas Peace and Joy when all we were doing was relentlessly ratcheting up our anxiety and frustration.

And no. It's not a good sign when you find yourself looking forward to the season being over. To the sweet release that is January 2 of the following year.

No wonder, then, that one of the most epic arguments Kimmer 'n I ever had... was on a Christmas Eve. It was a true WTF moment if ever there was one. I kid you not.

Sadly, further Christmas seasons bore the marks of those early experiences for many years after. Ultimately, over even more years, we learned to get an actual handle on what it was we were trying to celebrate.

In some instances, we established boundaries between our own desires for the season and those of other people. We let other people's expectations be their expectations, not ours.

And what is it we were trying to do? 

We were trying to be more to the point in our celebration. It could not be, could not be Christmastime if we're angry. If we're upset. If we're overwhelmed. If we're attacked.

Those are all mutually exclusive to Christmas and Christmastime even as most of us have factored in those things as simply the cost of doing business.

Spoiler Alert: they're not. They don't have to be. They're not required, is my point. 

So whatever it is you're celebrating in the coming weeks and days, my hope for you is that you're actually able to feel it, to experience the charm of its Norman Rockwell festivity, or the implications of its religious tradition.

I wish you and your family a holiday with authentic warmth and caring, a celebration of you and yours that brings more memorable laughs and smiles and perhaps an honest answer to Charlie Brown's question

Isn't there anyone who knows... what Christmas is all about???

Yes, Charlie Brrown. 

There is.

😊

[shallowseeker]

The familial murder of the mother, the blaming of absent father, and the symbolic death of a child in 14x18 Absence

On Cas-- genuinely trying to understand Dean's headspace. Castiel: Are you mad I didn't tell you-- or that I'm telling you at all? Dean: Both! An irrational position, but he's angry. Cas feels it.

14x18 Absence

(Dean is angry as a spouse is angry, because Cas is his emotional rock, the partner that soothes and stands strong and above all else, who makes pain go away. It's a confusing, instinctual emotionality that many spouses fall prey too in times of trouble. Sharing burdens gets all messed up because the burden is too heavy, and above all else, unfixable.)

///

It's so good! I’ve heard this kinda thing play out in so many agonizing situations, especially in the hospital setting and amidst a backdrop of unexpected death— it's brutal. This whole thing is dreadful— it's leading up to the realization of inter-familial murder and the symbolic loss of a child (followed by the actual loss of that child).

It's so awful!

In this episode, Absence is a three-part play on words:

it's about Mary's absence (death)

it's about Jack's absence of good (soul) and symbolic "death"

and it's about Cas's absence from the family at a critical time (paralleled by the overworking father not being there in 14x05 Nightmare Logic btw)

///

As Anael pointed out, Cas went lone wolf and tried to solve the problem alone, out of fear of facing the truth of the situation, leaving his human fam with a loose nuke--a loose nuke that Cas is, like it or not, physically the best equipped to handle (i.e. his superior strength; and his ability to "see" souls, however diminished that ability may be from his early days).

///

So, Dean is irrational.

The bit about Dean being angry on all fronts is good because it showcases Cas's astute recognition of Dean's current fight-or-flight irrationality. It also shows that Dean might've shrugged off the snake situation, even if Cas had told him about it.

Dean's in denial. He's been in denial about Jack, and neither of them has had time to process the awful truth, much less deal with it. (Not to mention, it's triggering awful memories of soulless!Sam leaving Dean to die via vampire, and of another time Cas went AWOL and left him in the dark through omission.)

At a high-pressure time like this, emotions are gonna take over. This kinda grief is irrational. Dean can feel that he's on the precipice of grieving loss of mother and of child. It's being angry with the "shell" of the child, it's blaming the absent father.

“When a child dies in a family, the members feel as if they have been ripped apart, unwound, which creates tension and conflict. Crisis begets crisis and the greatest stress is put on the marital dyad.

Many times each individual falsely expects their spouse to make the pain go away and when they cannot, they begin to feel resentment, anger, hurt, abandonment, etc., toward their spouse.”

Yes. Cas is that for Dean.

///

Dean wants to be Cas's partner:

For a long while, especially in the late seasons, Cas has been the faith and hope that Dean believes in. This is heavily implied in 13x04 The Big Empty, when Dean says at the end of the episode that he, "doesn't believe in a damn thing." That gets juxtaposed with Cas reawakening, and ofc Dean does a total 180 upon Cas's return.

Cas is Dean's faith, his hope for future.

Cas is also unofficial family protector, even though Dean has some discomfort with Cas having that role. This is showcased very well in 12x19 The Future, with Dean feeling bitter about being viewed as "someone to be babysat." -> "You're not our babysitter, Cass, okay? That is not your job. And when in our whole lives have we ever been safe?" (As always, Dean wants to be someone Cas relies on, too--his equal partner.)

///

As for Dean, Cas, and Faith...

What does it mean to have faith in someone like this? Here, it's not just getting down on your knees and professing love to a set of religious doctrines or dogma.

Here, Cas is Dean's confidence in the meaning of life. Dean's faith in Cas is love and loyalty. It's that belief in the truth, value, and trustworthiness of a person.

Regardless what you believe about the nature of their relationship, Cas is the support that lessens the pain; he is the balm that brings Dean joy and peace. He represents Dean's hope in the future, because Cas is a vital part OF his future.

But here in Absence, Dean is spinning out, because no matter what Cas says, in the face of THIS, the pain is too enormous. It's unfixable.

And as his family disintegrates via the death of Mary and the symbolic death of Jack, so disappears Dean's faith. His faith in the future is gone, and his faith in a happy future with Cas is gone. The future is "dead" to him.

///

The irrationality of grief and the horror of choosing "the wrong man"

Cas recognized Dean's emotional state. He understands. It doesn't make it easier, but Cas still knows.

Irrational behavior is a triggered fight-or-flight, and often it becomes anger because of a perceived unmet need. The unmet need in this case?

Dean needs his loved ones to be safe and he wants Cas specifically to make him FEEL safe.

He wants Cas to take away that fear and pain, but he doesn't exactly know why or how he wants that to happen. He instinctually wants Cas to protect them, but he wants Cas to be safe and open while doing it, so that Dean feels like an equal partner.

"Don't do anything stupid."

It's a strange dualism. He doesn't want Cas to name the problem (Jack's lack of soul) AND he wants Cas to solve the problem (make everything okay again). It's contradictory and confusing.

///

Dean does not fight with Sam in 14x18 and 14x19, because he's not expecting a certain kind of support from his brother, other than to be in his corner and fight the good fight as usual, maybe even to help Dean commit murder-suicide via Equalizer.

That is, he's NOT expecting Sam to take the pain away.

Despite the marital "schism," Cas is still around and working with Winchesters (and Dean) in fellow soldier dynamic. It's...tense. It's limbo. But it's not completely sundered, because Cas attends the burning of Mary, and his instinct is to hold Dean during it. (I still sometimes wonder if Sam made the wrong move stopping that from happening? Even if Dean reacted badly, it might have brought the tension to a head sooner.)

///

And angels...

Cas and Dean have been fighting this human/angel schism since season 6. "I'm not human," Cas says over and over, in a variety of ways. (In Dean's view, angels have pretty literally ruined his life, so it's easy to slide down the road of bitterness and hurt concerning angels.)

And after all this time, in Dean's mind, Cas still won't meet Dean halfway when it comes to protecting the family as a unit.

Yet, Dean wants him. He wanted Cas to stay in the family; he tried to keep Cas for so, so long. He force-fit Cas into the shape of human spouse, even when Cas pulled away or left. Dean wanted Cas as his partner, "even when all his instincts told him otherwise."

So, what if Cas is "the wrong man?"

Now, this means Dean potentially chose wrongly. Dean put Mary and Sam in danger with chosen spouse and chosen child. Dean chose Unwisely. Dean's instincts were constantly screaming, "Angel, angel, angel!"

He didn't listen.

///

Lizard brain

What is “irrational,” and why does that word spring to Cas's mind? The OverwhelmedBrain's definition works well: An overreaction.

It goes on further:

"When you are overreacting, that means you are making up stories about the situation you are in. You are fabricating your own meaning of something that is likely not at all what you think it is. Overreacting usually stems from letting emotion cloud your logic. It’s okay to be emotional about something, but when it actually clouds your logic, and you respond solely from a place of emotion, you are closing off rational thought."

Our lizard brain is the lowest level of behavior or the closest we get to responding to life’s events like an animal. Very survival driven. An overreaction can be seen as an attempt to survive.

Here, it becomes Jack-Cas hurt me. Jack-Cas are threats. Angels are dangerous.

But-- Can't do it without Cas, it's too hard.

And-- The real Jack is dead. That's not Jack. We need to solve the problem.

So-- Cas should be my fellow soldier, then, not my spouse. (Stupid, stupid Dean for thinking otherwise.)

And nihilism-- There is no future, only mission. If Jack's symbolically dead because of Dean, then Dean will kill the shell of him (and himself, too). It'll be the murder he doesn't survive.

"Get onboard with our new cause or walk away. ...Cas!"

Then, even as fellow soldier, Cas walks away.

///

When they are being irrational, then basically anything they do or say is not personal. In fact, what’s coming out are usually repressed emotions of some sort.

But, even if what they say hurts you, this is the worst time to respond to what they are saying. I realize it’s a challenge not to get triggered because the person could be saying some very mean things.

Only mission. Nothing matters.

Dean is powerless to change what he is.

Later, the situation further devolves. They are all co-weapons in a meaningless fight designed by Chuck. It gets so much worse after Chuck's true nature is revealed, because if Chuck is a writer, then Cas is a narrative trap. He's the catalyst for all of Dean's deepest emotions and pains. Dean is a fool for putting blind faith in the wrong man.

Cas is the son of Chuck. And Dean is a fool.

(The light was just a lie.)

Now, Cas recognized this emotional breakdown for what it was, right from the get-go, but it still hurt. It was an "existential wound."

So, rightfully, he walked away, got some air, and reconsidered the situation. He tried to get clarity on the core of the situation instead of responding to Dean's irrational grief.

///

And at the core, Cas's own father egged on the inter-familial murder of his son for entertainment, perhaps even killed him in the first place via Sergei's cure to "restore the harmonics of the universe?"

All Cas can see for sure is that he was deeply in need of support, but when he called his father, that father ignored him, purposely letting it get worse before he stepped it. Then he did some brutal shit-stirring, tasking the on vulnerable, grief-stricken family with murder. Gleefully, sadistically tried to hurt them all, to kill Jack and bend them to his iron will.

Then, Chuck tortured the rest of Cas's human family, as a cat plays with its food. Cas recognizes this, because Heaven did that to him. That's why Cas is oddly quiet, even calm at times during season 15. Watching. Assessing.

In season 15, Cas is certainly disillusioned by Chuck but he's not affected to intense degree that Sam or Dean is, because Cas has already been disillusioned by serving a corrupt Heaven for billions of years. Cas has had, at minimum, three existential crises just during the course of the last decade (and Naomi implied more than that).

He's already dealt with the concept of "his life as hoax."

And Cas’s heart is strong, steely. Even when the djinn stabs him, he stands tall.

Cas comes to the conclusion that, unlike in season 7 where he despaired at the breadth of the universe and its cruel rules; here, getting out of Chuck's game would not change the game. So, Cas's resilience wins out.

Chuck's not getting the rest of his human family without a fuckin' fight.

ANYWAY, it's a mess. But it's not SIMPLE by any means. Cas gets a lot more of WHAT is happening thanks to both his emotional intuition and his assessment of Chuck. Cas's been there when it comes to loss of hope / Heavenly existential crisis. (It’s why he’s forgiving. He’s been there, over and over; he’s even being tasked with child-murder of first-borns and Nephilim children.)

He's even sundered his own critical relationships when he was going through shit, when he felt they didn't support him in the way he wanted and deserved (Balthazar, hello).

In season 15, Castiel-angel-of-the-Lord-serving-a-corrupt-machine meets Dean-my-life's-work-is-a-hoax-Winchester. And he stands strong for both of them in the end.

[standingappablog]

My interpretation of Toni and Shelbys relationship.

I am re-watching the wilds and I wanna talk about a few things I missed in my first viewing. 

Toni

Starting off in episode one, which I think a lot of us picked up on the gay vibe from both of them, was Tonis front with shelby at the beginning of the show. All talk, and takes no shit. But you can spot her flustered moment easily when Shelby puts her hands on her shoulders and when she begins to sing (while she pees yes lol) But you can just SEE IT on her face. This quickly subsides though as not long after Toni lets a tree branch fly back in her face.

The writers also try confuse you and make you think the reason why Toni  dislikes Shelby so much (at least untill episode 6 before the homophobia) is becuase of her possibly stealing her best friend away. Which of course played a part in it too.

The scenes of her looking at Martha and shelby was a common 0occurrence. You notice though, in most scenes how Martha is sort of out focus and in the backround while shelby takes up most of the shot. Indicating that shelby is the person Tonis gaze is fixed on.

I think the reason why Toni so strongly disliked Shelby in the beginning  is becuase she found herself attracted to her, which she obviously didnt like. With shelby having this happy go lucky optimistic front, and all the jesus talk really clashed with her pretty pesimistic personality. Not to mention how Toni thinks Shelby is extreamly privileged,which in a lot of aspects of her life she is. Considerably more after you find out Tonis backstory. So with that knowledge of her backround you could see why she would assume her life is better than hers. I mean she is a rich white girl from texas, so her assumption wasnt unreasonable. To Toni the idea of liking someone like Shelby is unexpected for her, so she does as much as possible to push her away. Explaining why she was pretty rude to her for the first half of the series. 

Along with Shelbys little “westburo baptist” moment Toni got pretty angry (rightly so) and this probably solidified the irationality of thease feelings she had for Shelby. Giving her even more of a reason to dislike her.

 Despite this Toni finds it in herself to try cheer her up when the two run into each other in the woods after Shelbys biggest insecurity is revealed by leahs theories. Tonis feelings for Shelby are on view a little bit here. Beforehand she barely could interact with her without expressing her dislike for Shelby.

 Though the mood shifts again after Shelby brings up the subject of her views on being gay.

Right up until shelby kisses her, Toni outwardly berates Shelby on how medieval her veiws are, and what a priveleged life she leads. She tells her on this island they are free, and Shelby takes this opportunity to show who she really is.

The kiss the two share as we all saw was in no way one sided, Toni does kiss her back. Obvioiusly this shocks Toni, as well as shelby herself. WIth shelby running off as she tries to escape what she just did with a girl who she thought hated her.

You immideatly see Toni run after her. Her feelings for this girl who Toni thought hated who she was where reciprocated. In this moment her whole attitude towards Shelby changes as she begins to understand why she is the way she is.

Shelby

Shelbys sexuality was pretty obvious to many of the LGBT viewers, we have all been there, obviously not the religious cult part, but putting up a front, hiding who we are. So it was easy to tell that she was gay from the beggining. Its also pretty common in the media to portray a closeted LGBT person like this. The question was how the writers where going to go about revealing the fact that she is gay.

You notice Shelbys attempts to be friendly towards Toni pretty early on with inviting her out to the first exhibition. Of course we all know it ends with her getting a branch to the face. But when questioned about the cut on her temple, she doesnt reveal that Toni was the one who caused it. 

Though as we all know as Shelby begins to become friends with Martha, Toni becomes increasingly more hostile towards her. Probably shattering the hopes of being friends. So we see less of Shelbys perspective of the relestionship between the two from her, and more from Toni. The two become pretty bitter with each other after the shelter building contest, the tension rising pretty quickly, although it seems that Toni is always the one who initiates the fights they have. Even after Toni destroys the hut and storms off, Shelby goes to find her and still tries to have a friendly conversation, possibly she went to comfort her, but of course we know from watching Toni interact with those around her she only initates in deep conversation with those she trusts, and the weird feelings she has for Shelby probably didnt help. 

Fast forward to episode six and Shelby has her little moment when the others are joking around with the shellfish. Of course this one isnt as subtle as previous scenes but it shows Shelbys internalized homophobia.The gestures Toni demonstrated made her uncomfortable becuase she knew thats who she was, the idea of being gay freaked her out, so she did the only thing to stop it. To lash out and reveal how she truely felt about herself. She proably never intended on revealing this, becuase really she doesnt hate the fact that Toni is gay. She hated the fact that she is gay herself. This probably shattered any hope of frienship with Toni after this incedent. (She also mentioned to martha afterwards that she knew it would happen, this revealation pushed everyone away from her considerably for the rest of the season)

When everyone begins to get sick, we see Shelby desperatly trying to prove to everyone and Toni that, she doesnt hate her. Ofcourse we knew by now that the two felt something for each other. In a way this was Shelbys feelings acting out. Her romantic feelings yes, but mostly guilt.Ignoring the others offers to let them give her the pill, instead she desperatly overcomes Tonis pride. Making her take the pill  forcably, so that she would stay alive.

Just before the two share their first kiss, shelby finally opens up about how miserable she finds her life. Toni as we know with a troubled backround claims that she cant “out sad” her. The only thing that Toni has that Shelby doesnt is freedom. Toni seeing the solution around them points out she is more free than ever and that moment you see the contemplation in her face, you can almost see whats going on in her mind just before she leans in and impulsively kisses Toni.

She then runs, obviously horrified with herself. The immeanse internalised homohpbia making her feel ashamed for following her heart.

I honestly loved watching this couple come together, their chemistry and writing was great and super intriuging to watch. I am glad a rewatched it again, there was a few things I missed out on in the first veiwing becuase i was too busy chanting “kiss! kiss! kiss!” everytime they appeared on screen together. This is completley my interpretation of their releationship and how the scenes are done, I honestly could be completley wrong and they are as they are shown to be on the surface. I just really enjoy delving deep into the motives and feelings of characters I enjoy watching. :)

*Edit* My apologies if this is written bad! At the time when I wrote this I was extremely tired. I hadn't slept the night before and I was just back from a full day of school.

[feetoffire]

Captain Christopher Pike, the rec list

I had this almost finished and ready to post, and then the kitten wiped everything, so here it is, a gazillion years later than I wanted. Yay. 

Ongoing - the fic is complete, but not all chapters are posted

WIP - fic isn’t finished

Incomplete - last-updated-more-than-a-year-ago WIPs

recs under the cut; spoilers abound

AOS

Gen

Pike’s Office by AnxiouslyGoing. Poor Jim has a Tarsus related panic attack, and ends up sleeping in Pike’s office/on Pike’s lap. Academy Era, bonus appearance by Spock, dad!Pike. 2k oneshot.

Another Life by LullabyKnell. Time travel fix it for ST2009. As ever, LullabyKnell gave us a spectacular, delightfully well-written fic. Dadmiral Pike, even if he’s technically a captain at this point. No pairings, everything is platonic. 12 chapters, 61k, T. Complete. 

Watching the Cloud of Dust by AngelQueen. Pike runs into Spock Prime while seeing the Enterprise off. Cue melancholy fluff (it follows Spock Prime around like a dog). 1.7k oneshot, G.

Phil Boyce/Chris Pike

horizons universe by gracieminabox. Massive, massive series spanning the whole of Chris’ life. Not canon compliant, i.e. Pike Lives. “Christopher Pike, in word and in deed.” Series, 263k in seventeen parts, G-E. 

Altered Horizons by InsaneSociopath. The bar fight goes very differently because Chris gets elbowed in the face. Featuring depressed!bipolar!Chris, who is Not Having A Good Time, Emergency Department (ED) doc Bones, and mother-hen!Jim. Phil is essentially Sir Not Appearing In This Fic, but he and Chris are married. Seven chapters, 14k, G. Incomplete. I adore this one. 

When Darkness Drifts by InsaneSociopath. Tarsus fic. Jim gets adopted by Starfleet but still ends up on Tarsus, except Chris is there. All Tarsus-related warnings apply. Jim and Chris centric; Phil is most present in the last few chapters. Six chapters, 44k, M. Complete. 

Kinktober 2017 by nerdqueenenterprise. What it says on the tin. Series, 13k in eight parts, T-E. Complete. 

A Vacation Long Overdue by nerdqueenenterprise. Reunion sex, mostly. They haven’t seen each other in six months, so they take leave on a remote beach. ~9k oneshot, E. 

The Weight of a Man by imachar. Another huge series charting the evolution of Chris and Phil’s relationship. Both canon compliant and canon non-compliant, so there’s a choice if you want it. Series, 174k in sixteen parts, M-E. Complete. 

shatterproof by gracieminabox. Will Make You Cry. Phil’s POV, STID compliant, featuring a picture from their early days. 4.3k oneshot, M.

Winged Desires and Veiled Persuasions by imachar. Post-Narada, ignores/was written before STID. Bones ends up hanging out with Phil and Chris at Spuhura’s wedding reception, and then the three of them have sex in Phil and Chris’ hotel suite. Pretty much pure smut. 12k oneshot, E. 

McPike

The Wind and Its Satellite by severinne. Long series, some BDSM, eventual Bones/Jim/Pike. Something of a McPike classic. Series, 186k in twenty parts, M-E.

Partridge Fallen From the Pear Tree by severinne. Post-divorce Bones works as a prostitute to make ends meet. Pike comes to town to recruit him, ends up paying for a night without knowing Bones is Bones, and then they both freak the fuck out when Pike realizes who he is. More-or-less just smut and angst. Pre-canon. Three chapters, 12k, E. Complete.

Singularities Verse by FrancescaMonterone. Bones and Pike fall in love, Pike adopts Chekov, Jim is Jim. Bonus Admirals Archer and Reed, and Archer/Reed. Mostly pre-canon, ace Pike. Series, 81k in six parts, T. WIP. 

Need by Noranem. Post STID, Pike and Bones invite Jim into their relationship and their bed. Established McPike, early days Bones/Jim/Pike. Four chapters, 12k, E. Complete. 

Pirk

See All The Stars by HoneyBeeBritt. Chris and Jim fell in love some time before Daystrom. Fluff and angst, with a happy ending promised in part four. I come back to this one regularly, especially part one. Series, 6.2k in three parts, T-M. Ongoing.

Shining On The Quay by topaz. Post-Narada through Beyond, ignores STID. Chris and Jim fall in love, get together, and figure out how to keep a relationship going when one of them is in space and the other is an admiral. Series, 32k in three parts, E. Complete. 

You Still Got Wheels, Kid by withthepilot. Yes, this is partially on here because it’s one of the few (good) fem!Pike fics. Pre-canon, Pike finds out Jim’s alive because she (not Winona or Sam) is listed as his emergency contact. Prostitute Jim. Takes place two years before canon, I think. 12k oneshot, E. 

Moments along the path by InsaneSociopath. Jim, through no fault of his own, is assigned to Pike as an aide bc Command thinks he’s a loose cannon. Pike is delighted /s. (he warms up eventually.) Some Tarsus PTSD; also a fair amount of fluff. Academy Era slow burn that goes right through to (immediately) post-Narada. 46k oneshot, M. Second chapter is artwork. Long but 100% worth it. 

How Do You Want Me, How Do You Want Me? by babykid528. Get together via smut. Feelings abound but talking about them does not. 3k oneshot, E. 

The Ocean Between Us by severinne. They get a drink in a bar. They’re both dead. Something of a get-together fic. Can and Will sucker punch you with feels. STID compliant. 1k oneshot, T.

Mutual Profusion of Good Feeling (aka Wherein the Aliens have a Flair for Mood Lighting) by kayliemalinza. This doesn’t really count as Pirk, but it’s not platonic enough for the gen category. Away mission, the premise is ‘aliens made them do it’ but there’s no sex or fade to black. Romantic, I guess? I really don’t know, but the prose is gorgeous. Also a Pike Lives/returns to the Enterprise AU. 5k oneshot, T.

Timeline Shenanigans

In plain view by IceCream_Junkie, Killermanatee. Pike/Pike. What can I say? The image of Greenwood’s Pike and Mount’s Pike together is very pretty. 2k oneshot, E.

Out of This World by TheAsexualofSpades. Space Puns. That is all. 1.1k oneshot, G. 

Discovery/quasi-SNW

Gen

A Small Storm by EKthered. Spock goes to visit his captain and ends up comforting him instead. Post Boreth. 2.3k oneshot. 

you were never broken by ordinary things by SiderumInCaelo. Michael Burnham & Chris Pike. Michael has only an inkling of what’s going on, but she manages to comfort Chris anyway. Post Boreth. 1.2k oneshot. 

Piler | Chris Pike/Ash Tyler

the chair and the badge by ninjamcgarrett. The boys are soft and in love. Lots of smut, but a fair amount of plot. Their respective traumas are addressed too, so there’s plenty of h/c. Honestly? My favorite from this pairing. Series, 59k in five parts, M-E. Ongoing. 

Reality by aishahiwatari. Initially a take on how these two idiots settled their differences, and evolution from there. Part two is post-season two of Disco. Series, 5k in two parts, E. Complete.

survival is insufficient by topaz. Post-Disco; they get together to remember Discovery’s crew, and then they get together. Traumas are addressed. Part two is a sort-of case fic, TW starvation. Series, 33k in two parts, E. WIP.

Feeling Too Deeply by NightOfTheLand. Established Piler, post-Disco season two couch sex. 6k oneshot, E. 

dancing to a beat of our own, flying with the speakers blown by wolfhalls. Neither of them want to talk about anything, aka Horrible Coping Mechanisms TM. Bottom Pike, quasi-hurt/comfort. 2.7k oneshot, E. 

Christmas in Sickbay by lah_mrh. Chris is accident- and injury-prone and has a new reason to hate spiders. Ash just wants to spend time with his boyfriend. 1k oneshot, G. 

The Pillow Will Disappear When I Forget I Put a Pillow There, Worry Not by prototype_malice. Sleepy fluff and cuddles. (they deserve it.) 665 words, oneshot, G. 

Chris Pike/Una | Number One 

it will take place without witnesses by love_in_the_time_of_kohlinahr. Post Disco, Pike is struggling with the knowledge of his future, so he and Una play chess until stupid o’clock in the morning (as one does), and then he lowkey has a panic attack. Una POV. Also features sleepy sex, but it isn’t plot-important and can be skipped over, if you wish. 2k oneshot, E. 

Overtime by Astronoddingoff. Una has Thoughts about Chris working doubles for the better part of a week. Also men get pegged. Definite sub!Chris. 7k oneshot, E. 

Terminal Velocity by Astronoddingoff. Una pegs Chris and drags his favorite fantasy out of him. Chris is On Board with all of this. Implied poly!Chris (i.e. Boyce/Pike) and hardcore switch/sub vibes from Chris. 6.8k oneshot, E. 

All for One by knightinmourning. D/s universe, where Pike had/has to hide the fact that he’s a sub to make (and stay) captain. Mostly reccing for part two, which has a fair amount of hurt/comfort (and also hints at threatened sexual assault and definite torture; be forewarned). Technically also Chris/Phil and Chris/Spock, but there’s no pairing sex, and part two is entirely Una’s POV. Series, 4.2k in two parts, M-E. Probably incomplete. 

A Gentle Touch by jedi_harkness. Chris and Una shower together. Body worship, no sex. So Much Fluff (and also happy tears). It’s super sweet. 1.7k oneshot, T.

Phil Boyce/Chris Pike

Decompression by Astronoddingoff. Chris is elated by a recent treaty success and the time spent dirtside. Phil does his best to make him even happier. Lowkey sub Pike. Implied poly!Chris (i.e. Pike/One). 3.5k oneshot, E. 

Most Pike/Boyce fics fall under the AOS tags

Una/Phil/Chris

Triangulate by Astronoddingoff. Sex pollen, but they’re already-kind-of-mostly in an established relationship. Recent miscommunications lead to angst. They all love each other and they’re all idiots. Lowkey sub Pike. Two chapters, 20k, E. 

Holy by Astronoddingoff. Self-actualizing featuring religious guilt/conflict, i.e. Pike is a sub and religion is weird about enjoying yourself. 2.7k oneshot, E. 

Happy Birthday by MeganMoonlight. It’s Phil’s birthday. Cue breakfast in bed. 530 word oneshot, G. 

[aondaneedles]

Bella Goth (all as well!)

Which one, my fake (the clone) or the real one? I'll just answer for both (and will regret this not even halfway through).

❤️: OTP

Of course I ship Bella with Mortimer. That's not even a question.

For fake!Bella, I think she's a free spirit. She needs to find herself before she can ever settle down. For now, I don't see her with anyone.

💔: No OTP

Um, anyone but Mortimer? But that's not true. I've seen her with Pascal and liked that. I don't think I have a NOTP for her...

Anyone who clips her wings.

🌈: Sexuality

Bella is straight, maybe bi-curious?

Fake!Bella is bi.

😊: Friends

Morty, of course, and the rest of her family. Bella is everyone's friend. You may have met her just two minutes ago, but she behaves just like you've already known her for years.

Fake!Bella befriends Erin pretty early on and they're as thick as thieves. She's also one of the few sims who really just... gets Nervous.

💀: Enemies or Rival

Bella has this larger than life personality that doesn't hate anyone. Or at least, you won't notice if she hates you. She'll always behave just as amicable as if she likes you. Dina was one of the only people who could see behind that facade and it drove Bella nuts.

The Beakers, no doubt. They'd love to get their hands on the clone, and while fake!Bella may not realise this, she senses that something is way off about them!

🐶: Pet or favorite Animal

Bella comes from a long line of witches. She is a cat person, 100%. But like... those ridiculously fancy, naked cats. They're just as high-maintenance as she is.

Fake!Bella has a pet lizard back at the gas station she sleeps at. She's named him Ziggy.

🌷: Flowers or plants they like

Roses!

Have you ever seen a blooming cactus? They're kind of pretty...

☀️: Favourite Season

Winter, when everyone gathers together and all of the big functions are held.

Anything but summer.

🌧️: Favourite Weather

That's easy! Sunny weather for both!

🕯️: Favourite Aromatic candle

Bella is a big fan of exotic flowers. Mix them with anything that creates an interesting smell (like herbs, sea salt or something) and she's all over it.

Fake!Bella likes it simple, in contrast. Lavender is nice.

🥘: Favourite Food

There's nothing better than a homemade barbeque with burgers for Bella. They had an old grill they got out of storage a few times of the year and did a small family barbeque. Bella manned the grill (because Mortimer burns everything he touches). Michael and Dina used to bring salads (Bella would never admit it, but Dina's salad was actually quite tasty) and the kids played in the graveyard. There aren't as many family barbeques nowadays...

Fake!Bella is not too picky. Anything that fills her up is fine with her. Whenever she's got some money, she heads over to the diner. Their burgers are good.

☕: Favourite Drink

Officially, champagne. Inofficial, Bella is fuelled by coffee.

Tap water. If she ever had coffee, she'd be all over it, too.

🍦: Ice-cream Flavour

Something simple, yet elegant, like Straciatella. Bella loves the little chocolate bits in it.

Chocolate.

🍕: Pizza Topping

Bella and Mortimer used to get salami pizza every Friday back when they were in high school. She's been craving it lately.

Once again, Fake!Bella is not picky. She's heard that pineapple pizza is a crime against pizza, though and steers clear from it.

🍟: Snack

Bella's favourite snack is frozen grapes. Very refreshing and sweet.

Fake!Bella's favourite snack is chips. Every flavour is fine, but the more savoury, the better.

🍿: Movies they like to watch

Bella is really into those old-school Hollywood movies. Movies like that just aren't made anymore...

Whatever's running on tv. Fake!Bella has a soft spot for those lifetime-esque movies though, where long lost family members are reunited and everyone gets a happy ending.

📺: TV Show they like to watch

Don't tell anyone, but Bella loves telenovelas. They are her guilty pleasure.

Fake!Bella has been watching soap opera reruns religiously lately. Erin showed her how to use SimTube, and she's been spending all her free time watching them. She's on Episode 2751 of "Days of the Cowplant" already!

🎵: Music they listen to

Classical music. Maybe a bit jazz, if Bella's feeling fancy.

Fake!Bella hasn't heard anything but the type of elevator music they play at the gas station yet, but she's pretty sure that that's not it.

⚽: Sport they like or play

Golf.

Fake!Bella goes running sometimes. Just runs as far as possible. Until her lungs burn and she can't remember anything. It's freeing.

📚: Books they like to read

There's a library of classics in the Goth library and Bella has read most of them.

Fake!Bella has found a tattered copy of "The Great Simsby" behind the trash cans of the community pool one day and for some reason, it spoke to her...

🕹️: Video Games they like or Play

Bella doesn't do video games.

You can find fake!Bella at the arcades on a good day. She likes anything that has jumping and running. And she loves rhythm games!

🎻: Musical instrument

Bella knows how to play the piano and usually plays it to entertain guests.

Nothing yet. Maybe synthesizer?

🎨: Favourite Colour

Her signature colour, red!

Red, even though she feels like a fraud for wearing it...

👠: Shoes they like

Fancy high heels. Bella has ruined her feet years ago but she doesn't care. She loves how powerful and sexy she looks in it.

Sensible shoes. Who needs uncomfortable shoes, fake!Bella thinks.

👕: Clothing style

Fancy, elegant, yet understated.

Anything that she can find in the dumpster behind the clothing store. She makes sure to look put together, though. It's an urge she can't help.

👜: What’s always on their bag

Her lipstick. And a good book. Always carry a good book with you and you'll always be in good company.

A few coins, if she needs to buy stuff.

📰: Section of the Newspaper they read

The society section.

The celebrity section.

💻: Website they visit the most

Bella spends a lot of time on various fundraiser sites to look for a good cause to sponsor and fundraise for.

whoisbellagoth.com

📱: Social media they use the most

Bella doesn't really use social media. She'd rather spend time with her family and friends in person.

Fake!Bella is addicted to SimTube. Not only for her daily dose of soap but also for conspiracy videos about aliens and the Elixir of Life.

📗: Favourite School Subject

Economics and Biology. Morty may be the genius in their family, but she was no ditz either!

Fake!Bella never went to school. But if, she would have been be super into P.E.

📕: Less Favourite School Subject

P.E. She wasn't bad at it, but she hated getting sweaty.

Maths. Her brain's wired weirdly and she just can't wrap her head even around simple maths. She usually just tosses money on the counter and hopes it's enough.

🎓: University they attended (or not)

Bella attended ALT, of course. She was in a long-distance relationship for all of it, as Morty attended LFT.

Fake!Bella was never college-aged.

🎒: University Major

Economics. It surprises a lot of people, but it really suited her. She has a mind for business. In another life, maybe...

I think that Fake!Bella would have ended up in philosophy due to being unable to decide which major to choose.

🔮: Something Random

Sometimes, Bella wonders what would happen if she were to disappear. Would her family be fine, or would they struggle without her? Of course, she wants them to be happy, but a not so nice small part of her wishes that they'd have trouble to move on...

Fake!Bella sometimes has random flashes of... she's not sure what she sees, but it makes her sad... a small girl with pigtails, a big house, a man holding a baby...

Phew! Thanks for playing, anon!

[astrology-with-charu]

𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟏 𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲 𝐇𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐞 : 𝐊𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬 & 𝐔𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐬

𝗢𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄

While the Scorpio full moon we just experienced along with Pluto retrograde would continue to bring things up from below the surface that need to be handled, faced and healed, we would start now working on the future. May would have not just a new moon in Taurus, giving us a fresh boost of self worth and net worth so we can start building our new life on firm grounds, we would also have three fated encounters on 10th, 17th and 31st May which will bring more clarity to our life path which would unfold further with the eclipses we are about to experience end May and June. We will dig deeper into all of this today and then in part 2 delve deeper into May themes by sign.

𝕂𝕖𝕪 𝔻𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕤

𝟚𝟟 𝔸𝕡𝕣𝕚𝕝 𝕥𝕠 𝟙𝟙 𝕄𝕒𝕪 : 𝔽𝕦𝕝𝕝 𝕄𝕠𝕠𝕟 𝕚𝕟 𝕊𝕔𝕠𝕣𝕡𝕚𝕠 𝟟º𝟘𝟞’

𝟚𝟟 𝔸𝕡𝕣𝕚𝕝 : ℙ𝕝𝕦𝕥𝕠 𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕖 𝟚𝟞º𝟜𝟠’ ℂ𝕒𝕡𝕣𝕚𝕔𝕠𝕣𝕟

𝟛𝟘 𝔸𝕡𝕣𝕚𝕝 : 𝕊𝕦𝕟 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕛𝕦𝕟𝕔𝕥 𝕌𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕦𝕤 𝟙𝟘º𝟜𝟙’ 𝕋𝕒𝕦𝕣𝕦𝕤

𝟙𝟙 𝕄𝕒𝕪 𝕥𝕠 𝟚𝟞 𝕄𝕒𝕪 : ℕ𝕖𝕨 𝕄𝕠𝕠𝕟 𝕚𝕟 𝕋𝕒𝕦𝕣𝕦𝕤 𝟚𝟙º𝟙𝟠’

𝟙𝟛 𝕄𝕒𝕪 : 𝕁𝕦𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕞𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕕 𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕠 ℙ𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕖𝕤

𝟙𝟘,𝟙𝟟,𝟛𝟙 𝕄𝕒𝕪 : ℕ𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕙 ℕ𝕠𝕕𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕛𝕦𝕟𝕔𝕥 𝕄𝕖𝕣𝕔𝕦𝕣𝕪, 𝕍𝕖𝕟𝕦𝕤, 𝕊𝕦𝕟 𝕒𝕥 𝟙𝟘º𝟜𝟝’ 𝔾𝕖𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕚

𝟚𝟡 𝕄𝕒𝕪 : 𝕄𝕖𝕣𝕔𝕦𝕣𝕪 𝕘𝕠𝕖𝕤 𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕖 𝕒𝕥 𝟚𝟜º𝟜𝟛’ 𝔾𝕖𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕚

𝟚𝟛 𝕄𝕒𝕪 : 𝕊𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕟 𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕖 𝕒𝕥 𝟙𝟛º𝟛𝟙’

Read it on the Medium

Listen to the podcast

Watch it on YT

𝗠𝗮𝘆 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟭 & 𝗧𝗮𝘂𝗿𝘂𝘀 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗠𝗼𝗼𝗻

Right at the onset of May on May Day we have Sun and Uranus making a surprising contact at the very degree we would have solar eclipse - fated new start in April of 2022. The shifts we are bringing this month especially in first half of the month have structural implications on what we are going to grow in 2022 financially and physically. We are taking those first steps of making a change in our life which underlines financial independence, shift in our values and shift in how we create value. Even shift in what we perceive to be stable and what we perceive to be gainful and beautiful. The definition of abundance is being changed and as our values shift so does our external reality. In the same vein definition of love and creativity is being progressively changed as the way we choose changes. The things we did before which seemed to form the structural part of our world, now do not seem to be inline with our new values. Uranus is a trigger which would show us a stale situation which needs changing and its been trying to do so since 2019. Now its entered its second decan, the Virgo dominant decan where we now do something useful and practical to make those changes. It also comes with more flexibility versus the initial rigidity to change we might have experienced.

There is an inner separation from our own old inauthentic identity or even father figure as a new discovery of our unique identity begins.

At 10º41 Taurus we create a new ego, its almost the old identity has been eliminated, weeds are being eliminated one by one and a new self is being born. “As the roots, so the flowers” said Rudhyar of this degree. We are ready for a new bloom and we would become ego attached to a new identity, such is human nature. We would nurture it, water it, love it and expect the world from it. This is the period of “Cultivation”. We must use May for nurturing and cultivation of our new roots. Which would culminate in the full flower supermoon on 26th May which is a lunar eclipse this month - closest full moon of this year.

Remember this is part of our chart where once we make home, we tend to live longer.

So whatever new source of income or new assets or personal resources or investments or heart choices you are cultivating remember you are laying down grounds for the long haul. It would feel that its not going at the speed you want, especially financial aspect of it. Words would be flowing fast, ideas and even documents may be going but that solid growth and ground might look slow. That’s a topic of 2022 when North node comes in Taurus and accelerates that element.

Do not forget Mother’s Day on 9th May ! Venus would be square Jupiter day before at last degree of Taurus, some people are about to go overboard in their purchases.

𝗝𝘂𝗽𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗣𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗲𝘀!

Jupiter the planet of expansion moves into its own sign and in its full strength briefly from 13 May to 28 July before it settles down fully in Pisces for 2022 starting 28th December 2021. This is a preview period and we will see growth in faith, spirituality, compassion and idealism. We last had this transit in 2010. So you can review what shifted for you in Jan 2010 when Jupiter last just entered Pisces. This preview would also show us the growth we would fully experience in 2022, as well as some over the board optimism or even misleading or inflated expectations. I have put the brief of my previous note on the 2022 Jupiter Neptune cycle at the bottom of this note for your reference. We are more open to choices but all choices aren’t lucrative, this might be a good season to lay some good ground rules. But overall this is a very expansionary transit and Jupiter works very well in Pisces so expansion and growth is greatly supported. This transit especially sprouts creative geniuses.

Covered by zodiac sign earlier this year

𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻 𝗥𝗲𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗲

Contracts, agreements, discussions agreed past 14th May might need some revision as Mercury would go retrograde after 29th May. Fated encounter need a bit more time to be fully understood and messaging of them may not be clear at the onset. We might in early June take a bit of step back to make sense of it all. This would also be supported by Saturn going retrograde, there might be structural changes required in our plans, getting some boundaries and rules right to make what we are initiating is more abundant. After 23rd May till 10 Oct there might be structural reworks which would be needed in our vision and plans to make them more resilient. It will also be the time to evaluate where healthy boundaries need to be built with friend, our network and sibling.

𝗙𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗥𝗮𝗵𝘂 𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀

Each of the fated encounters of 10th May, 17th May and 31st May come with the Saturn trine giving us discipline to make the structural changes I just spoke of. It’s the pie in the sky thoughts, ideas and discussions we had in March and April are now being given substance. These dates and a day before / after give great opportunities to have a productive talk with authorities, progress on approvals and guidance from an elder or experienced person. These are the “rising to the occasion” contacts - these are unexperienced grounds of potential. After 10th of May and especially 17th of May you would truly feel yourself free from the past and moving into this unchartered territory we are about to chart together. Stay flexible, open and present as it would require us to leave our old life belief system behind as south node asks us to release our beliefs and replace them with new information.

All of these fated encounter come in close contact with one of the great stars in the sky, one of the four Royal stars of Persia, the Archangel star (Michael), the Watcher in the East, called Aldebaran. Contact with this star has promise of success or happiness but it comes with a test of integrity. We would be faced with an issue of integrity and would have to rise to the occasion. A very famous example is of Edward VIII who fell in love with a divorce and even though the most logical & traditional choice would have been to compromise his integrity he abdicated the throne to marry the woman he loved. We would have to live by the morals even though the temptation to not follow them would be high. Galileo Galilei rebelled against the church announcing that Earth was the one that orbited around the Sun at the risk of being arrested & imprisoned. We would have to rise up for our truth as we encounter some moral dilemma.

Mars met this start on 26th March with influence across end of March - did you had to take a high road on a subject which was tempting ? Were you prompted in some way to change your course to take the road less travelled yet the one thats morally and spiritually more in line with you ? Well I have my natal Venus on Aldebaran so I was. If it was the case for you, you would see more progress, more information on that choice you are making.

𝗠𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵 𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗘𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗽𝘀𝗲𝘀

As we go towards the month end, I do believe activation of this star which has Mars like equalities, we could see our world leaders encounter this very moral dilemma. When Mars met north node in Gemini last in March Biden had called Putin the “murderer” and ofcourse Ever Given went on giving stuck in the Suez Canal. It was also the deadliest days in Myanmar protests. This all coupled with the eclipses, Saturn standing still and Saturn square Uranus becoming exact in June, makes for an intense month end and summer.

Communication would be charged up, transportation a bit haywire as people try to speed and we would want to go hundred miles a minute in our mind, hands and voice. Use your words wisely and its a great opportunity to make once in 19 years progress on our written, creative, verbal, communication, commercial projects and skills.

Due to the eclipse of the month end on 26th May with south node and its history, I do not recommend to travel or be engaged in religious group activities which can lead to crowds. You always have to use your own judgement in whats best for you but astrologically this eclipse comes with a travel or religious incident.

As Saturn would go retrograde on 23rd of May and square Uranus for a second time on 14th June, the Saturn in Aquarius and Saturn square Uranus themes of breakthrough, rebellion, regulations on innovation especially tech become stronger as we approach June. More regulations would be drafted over this period of Saturn strength especially covering innovations in financial system such as digital currency, stock market, investments, land use and at some point food innovation.

Covered in the past in details as below :

Saturn Square Uranus : Overview

Saturn Square Uranus : By Zodiac Sign

More on eclipses soon!

Have a great month ahead.

==================

𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗘𝘅𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮

“Jupiter the planet of expansion is moving into Pisces fully after 28th Dec and it will meet Neptune at yes at this spot on 12th April 2022 which would be a outer planet meet colouring global events of 2022. This is a once in 166 years of divine cycle when optimism hits up our dreams and inflated expectations are very much at root of this cycle. We are seeding that cycle right now with this new moon so a bit of inflated expectations are in. But so are prospects for creative genius, compassion, inspiration, positive thinking, divinity. In 1856 when this cycle was last seen in Pisces - Sigmund Freud was born; Frank Baum the author of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz was born ...Robert Peary who claimed discovery of North Pole was born... I can go on... Nikolas Tesla was born - creative genius underlines this cycle which is about to begin in 2022.

But there would also be delusional leaders, bad intention false hopes and inflation which would come with this. Seeds of that also is being planted now in inflated expectations and idealism. This cycle has deep implications for change in religion and spirituality. Also on weather patterns especially linked to floods, hurricanes - the Last Island Hurricane in US which destroyed Last Island was part of last cycle as was a massive church explosion. This was also first year when the Third Party in US called “Know nothing American Party” fought elections. Seeds of American civil war were grown in this cycle as well back in 1856. “

[theyaskedmeto]

what i think each og new direction member's social media presence would be like

basically i’ve been doing nothing all day and i’m way too addicted to social media and i started thinking about this so here we are. also i’m just gonna pretend social media was a big thing when they were at school (it obviously wasn’t but lets pretend this is set in like 2016 or smth)

rachel berry

lets be honest rachel would be so damn annoying on social media (not like that’s a surprise tho she’s annoying anyway)

she’d definitely use instagram the most

she’d post photos of her and finn holding hands and caption it like ‘My world, I love this boy 🔐❤️🌏✨’ and then deletes them all when they break up

EXCESSIVE use of emojis 

posts selfies and quote song lyrics in the caption

posts what she’s listening to on her stories (usually boradway) and feels very entitled because of it

posts singing videos 

santana and brit probably bully her in the comments of her posts lbr

honestly i can’t see her having any other forms of social media tbh, she just always uses instagram

auto caps stay ON at all times bc it’s ‘against the rules of basic grammar’

tries to talk in the nd groupchat but no one likes her or listens. like ‘What song should I do for a solo this week’ and then it starts a massive argument

finn hudson

one of those boys who just takes photos of The Scenery™ and no photos of him

maybe posts some photos of him and rachel when they’re together though

actually he probably does the same thing as rachel like ‘Can’t believe this girl is mine 😍💗’ and commenting ‘Love You ❤️’ on her posts but it just seems v high school

probably not very active but uses instagram the most

does a lot of those ask thingys on instagram like ‘send me an emoji and i’ll say what i think about you’ LMAO

i feel like he’s not very involved with it because he prefers video games more lol

uses ‘😂’ unironically

auto caps on and doesn’t even know having them off is a thing

noah puckerman

USES SNAPCHAT. nothing else. but he does have insta

has sent streaks to everyone he’s friends with on sc and will continue to until he’s like 25 

posts way too many mirror selfies with the flash on without his shirt off (ew) 

literally never talks in the nd groupchat

auto caps on - actually he probably Types Like This All The Time

has A Rule that if he’s talking to a girl he has to not reply for at least 2 hours but if it’s a guy then he has to reply asap (bros before hoes type vibe)

blaine anderson

i really don’t think he’d use it that much??? i feel like he’d get too overwhelmed ahdkjhdjs

WAIT APART FROM TUMBLR

he’s probably very involved with tumblr and is part of the star wars fandom/marvel fandom

his ao3 history is between him and his computer only

ppl wanna be his friend on tumblr because he’s just nice and kind 🥺

he’s probably quite popular on there - has a lot of followers

but he doesn’t really use any others - has an instagram but there’s no posts on there

maybe he tries to spread awareness on his insta stories???

hates snapchat with a passion 

uses :) :( <3 ;_; way too much (he’s on tumblr)

has auto caps off. like he’s a fanboy okay he’s on TUMBLR fgs. 

occasionally talks in the nd groupchat but is normally a bit intimidated by all the arguments it causes 

v open about his sexuality on his insta (has a 🌈in his bio🥺)

brittany pierce

she uses all of the main ones (insta and snapchat)

posts loads of photos of lord tubbington on there and adds loads of gifs on her stories

such!! a wholesome!!! insta page!!!!!

lots of mirror selfies with the flash on

bad spelling 😔

tries to do those story bingo things but gives up when she gets confused

also has another insta account to build her fondue for 2 channel 

auto caps OFF

uses all the pretty emojis way too much like ‘went to the park 🏞 it was so ✨💗 fun!!! 🌸🌈☀️ we had a good time 😍’

is the QUEEN of the nd groupchat along with santana. tbh her and santana would just use it as their place to talk about everything rather than private messages

santanna lopez

her whole instagram is just selfies

uses snapchat quite a lot but when she gets older she stops completely and deletes it ‘snapchat is for straight ppl’

cyberbullies rachel ajhfdsjhd

does ops on her story and is just brutally honest to everyone who asks 

auto caps stay on but sometimes she forces her keyboard to type all lowercase

NEVER uses emojis. not even :( or :) she just never uses them ever

has a tiktok addiction for when she gets sad about britt (especially s2 when britt isn’t with her)

kurt hummel

uses instagram to show off his outfits 

especially when he gets older and lives in ny!! 

there’d be such cute lil videos of him and blaine on his story like taking videos of his ootd and then blaine photobombing and then he zooms in on him and laughs ok i’ve thought about this too much

compliments all his besties on their photos like ‘So gorgeous 😍’

auto caps stay religiously ON but uses a lot of abbreviations like ‘btw and ily’ etc

in the early days of him and blaine being together, he’d be quite private about it but around the time just before he leaves for ny they get more public

only uses emojis for reactionary purposes eg. to compliment friends

posts photos of anything. honestly i want to see his insta it’d be so cute

has a private instagram for his close friends where he shitposts his whole life like ‘Dad’s taking us to get mcdonalds!!!!’ with blaine

sam evans

posts shirtless pics and all the girls thirst over him ajdhksjdk

uses insta more than snapchat but always sends streaks (maybe when he’s younger tho like around season 4 i don’t think he would be anymore)

also v wholesome though??? like i think he’d post pics of what flowers he got his mum for mothers day 

posts pics of mercedes on his story when they’re together 🥺

posts his favourite songs on his story

auto caps ON bc he doesn’t know having them off is a thing lol

uses 😂 unironically

mercedes jones

doesn’t post much on any social media platforms but is always liking everyone elses posts and complimenting her friends

posts more on her story than anything else

when she gets more confident in herself tho, she posts more (especially when she moves to new york)

occasional photos of sam when they’re dating with a lil love heart emoji on her story

lots of emojis but she uses them when necessary

auto caps on!!!

tina cohen-chang

THE SAME AS RACHEL WITH MIKE but like 10 times less annoying and people actually care

literally the cutest couple on instagram with the new directions group

uses the nd groupchat quite regularly bc people actually LISTEN to her there

has a cute lil gc with sam and blaine with some weird ass name

switches to auto caps off after she goes through her goth phase 

uses :) and :( and also a few pretty emojis eg. 💗☀️✨🌟💐🍬 to make her captions looks pretty

v quick replier

quinn fabray

this bitch has too many emotions for social media ok?

just watches tiktok to cheer herself up but it makes her more sad

has an instagram but never posts on there

if you wanna message her just text because she’ll never reply otherwise

disappears off the face of the earth during her skank phase. deletes her instagram and everything

auto caps on but it doesn’t even matter because she never even needs to use her keyboard 

(we’re talking s3 tho. in like s1 she’d have been into it to keep up her persona lol. her insta would’ve defo had over 1k followers)

mike chang

uses insta more than sc and posts photos of him and tina on his story 

fast replier - loyal king

fully ignores the nd groupchat because he avoids drama 😌✨

non caps because it ‘looks friendlier and not like you’re shouting’

will help you with your homework if you have any questions 

like ‘hey have you done this english homework?? i can’t find any good quotes that’ll help with the question’ and he’ll reply fast with a whole list bc he’s an academic KING

would love to post some dancing videos but gets too scared :(

artie abrams

has no social media and is rlly annoying bc its so hard to contact him

auto caps on. i mean like how would u know having them off was a thing if you don’t have any socials

fully punctuates every text

[raayllum]

I'm honestly amazed how people can stay strong to their opinions despite all the negative people, antis and critics(not that bad, but still) going around the fandom.

It’s honestly not that bad (from my perspective, anyway) - nor is it that hard, honestly. I can’t speak for any social media site fandom wise except for tumblr, but TDP fandom on tumblr is overall beyond fantastic and one of the nicest fan communities I’ve ever seen. There were definitely antis on tumblr in the early days of the fandom (especially pre show) to the degree it was something I  worried mildly about - I’d experienced harassment before as a teenager and seen it almost ruin other fandoms - but that quickly faded post-s1. I was scrolling through the early pages of this blog the other day out of curiosity and I couldn’t believe how many people from the first three months ish in the fandom just left even before season two came out, but who knows why, honestly. Sometimes people’s interests do just change!

Now, I do generally have pretty thick skin. I was somewhat in the ATLA fandom for 5+ years where every opinion I had was exceedingly unpopular (something the recent surge in 2020 has changed, thankfully) to the degree it would frustrate me. I had to be very picky about who I followed to try and find anyone like minded, or at least not super off the rails with how they were viewing canon and tagged appropriately. I was also in the Voltron fandom and had to very much sequester myself away with my mutuals in order to remotely have a good time, and even then I saw a lot of bullshit (a lot of particularly nasty ableist shit that was then unfortunately replicated in canon).

I’ve received whack ass fandom hate, such as “you hypocrite you hate [insert ship here].” Me, confused, looking at post I made talking about why said ship is fine or interesting only three days prior. 

I have also been in classes of 40-60 people and been the only one presenting an opinion and have had people crap on it (the professor then gave a ten minute spiel on why my view was the theme of the course and the work we were studying, but I digress) because I don’t mind standing alone. That’s just kinda a part of life. People are not gonna agree with me all the time. It can be frustrating (or sometimes, a learning experience), but we all gotta deal with it.

So here are the tips for making it work:

1) Get used to blocking people. The block button is your absolute best friend. If someone posts a fandom opinion you’re really tired of seeing everywhere, even if it’s not bad per se, but just one you disagree with? You can block ‘em. Do it. There’s no shame in it - and I definitely have, like, all the time, for TDP, and for other fandoms. You can always change your mind later and unblock later, but there’s nothing like being preventive!

2) Unfollow religiously. Mutuals are fun, but tumblr romanticizes that sort of ‘relationship’ way too often, tbh. You should never feel pressure to follow people for any sort of reason. For example, there’s a lot of people on tumblr I really like, and I generally like their content a lot, that I don’t follow, cause they reblog a lot of something else I’m not interested in or don’t want to see (and don’t feel like / can’t blacklist for whatever reason). So I unfollow very easily and I go onto their blog or the main tags, search up whatever I’m interested in, and reblog from there. 

3)  You don’t have to engage with or listen to every opinion. This relates back to the other two, but you can just say “no thank you” and dip. For example in TDP, I see some people take a really critical stance with how the show treats dark magic. I think a lot of those takes are disingenuous (the show’s portrayal of dark magic, to me, gets more complicated as we go along, not less) but people are fully entitled to their opinion. I just don’t have to see it or engage with it. Cue block or unfollow button, boop! 

4) You can’t care about what other people think. Not of you, not of characters, not of ships. Easier said than done, I know, especially when people will sometimes make a huge judgement on a very tiny thing, but it is the key. You can never control someone else or their opinion. That’s not to say don’t be considerate, or not to approach people in good faith - I have successfully changed people’s minds on the internet before (I’m up to 10, thank you very much), it is very possible. But those were people I thought could be open to having those sorts of discussions and I was fully prepared for it to go badly / not go my way. But I had to be able to not care if it didn’t go my way, and sometimes it didn’t. 

And usually people who are extremely judgemental online all the time - repeatedly, constantly, about ships or story beats or anything and only seem to like one or two things from a source material - probably aren’t pretty happy. Cause they’re spending all their time either shaming people for things or trying to change other people’s minds. And if you spend all your time trying to convince other people of something and caring about how they do things, you’re not going to be happy. This is true for everyone.

This is not to say you can’t consider other people’s viewpoints (especially privately), either. For example, I read some of the critiques with dark magic, thought it over, tried to think about it more objectively / see where those interpretations were coming from, and still went, “Nah, not for me, I don’t agree” and blocked whoever I needed to. Cause consideration doesn’t equal engagement and that’s more than alright.

No one has power over you that you don’t give them, especially in an online space like this. Curate what content you see, block profusely, unfollow when you need to, and make sure that your fandom experience is first and foremost what you want and curate it for yourself. 

It will be much brighter that way, I promise.

[fedoranonymous]

Okay okay okay

If we're gonna do a powerpuff girls reboot, let's do a

Powerpuff Girls Reboot!

We open with the intro text from the original cartoon. It's iconic, it's been basically unmodified since they were the Whoopass Girls, you've gotta have it. Either use the original animation or hire three cute lil things to do it, but have your new Professor read it out.

When we get to "but a secret ingredient was added to the concoction..." start pulling out to reveal that it's coming from the TV, and the Girls are reacting to the portrayal of their childhood in real time. They keep saying the girls are cute, but they have things to say about the plot. Blossom wants to know if this is a period piece or isn't it, make up your mind. Bubbles is worried about people confusing fiction for reality and blaming them for things that happen on TV. Buttercup just wants to watch a mindless action flick.

The Professor narrates again. "It's been ten years since the Girls first woke up in that Lab. Of course, they were already physically six by then. Mentally... Well, they certainly had the intelligence of adults 7 times their age. Along with the innocence of children. That was our goal -- people who could really, honestly, and without cynicism plot an attainable future for humanity. The superpowers? Well they caught everybody by surprise."

Flashback to the girls earliest moments perhaps, or just go straight to: for their safety, and to try and dissuade the onslaught of costumed villains that have come to Townsville seeking a fight with Real Superheroes, the Mayor and the Professor have decided that there will be No More Superheroing In Townsville Anymore. They get to live the next twelve years as ordinary girls, have real lives, isn't that exciting?

Well, if it's what you think is best.

In the intervening decade, the girls have grown. They're not perfect little girls anymore.

Blossom has clearly seen the Incredibles. She has a meticulous line of silver medals: science fairs, races, MMA. Straight 95% As across the board. Her golds are all in team sports, and her clear eye for tactics has garnered her the attention of the junior ROTC, who she has to dodge frequently and ever more creatively because "it just doesn't seem right to train with them like an ordinary soldier when I have heat vision and two purple hearts".

Major drama comes from her science fair partner who seems... Weirdly well researched about weapons manufacturing. And obsessed with superheroes. During the midseason finale, they get way too riled up working on their automatic water purification system and end up inventing a weather machine that goes haywire. Science fair partner is way too into "something exciting happening for once". Even though it nearly destroys the city, they get a Tidy defense contact for the technology. Blossom adds it to her secret safe absolutely bursting with various patents.

Bubbles, meanwhile, is working herself to the bone trying to do as much good as it's possible for a "normal girl" to do. She volunteers at the hospital. She gets yelled at by the Professor for giving plasma when they can't know it wouldn't hurt a normal human. She volunteers at the soup kitchen, at Big Brothers Big Sisters, at Habitat for Humanity. She's a religious follower of the "only eat what can be grown within x miles of where you live" (I think it's 100?) While being vegetarian, obviously, she can talk to animals. She had to get yelled at for volunteering at the pound for that reason, too, but the vets missed her so much, she got brought back in. She's much more vocal about shopping locally, though, and she is never not eating a handful of nuts, because this girl needs protein! She feels bad even though she knows squirrels eat a different kind of nuts.

Definitely a scene at a farm where her cow friend tells her that food is love and that she needs milk so she can have bones string enough to punch through steel, right after Bubbles had punched through some steel.

Definitely the instigator of Let's Fight Crime Again and early season drama of her learning that she needs to accept some reciprocation of all the love she puts out into the world. Like, she drops out of the sky out of exhaustion, shit like that.

And Buttercup? Buttercup is just fine. Never been better. Cruising down easy street. No complaints here. Yeah, she's been suspended for starting fights with normal kids again, and that's super dangerous, but that kid's an asshole and all they've got is a couple of bruises. Yeah, she stays out all hours of the night, trying to drink and use enough that it gets past her metabolism, but like, it hasn't yet? Honestly this is science at this point. And yeah, no one knows where she got the money for that bike (until an early season episode reveals that she's been cutting hair at a publish barbershop that is either part of or adjacent to a tattoo parlor, and that her coworkers there are the only people she feels like she can talk to. All the characters here are blatantly queer.) But the bike isn't stolen, or anything, back off.

The only thing that lets on that there might be something deeper than "takes no shit, gives a mean right hook" is the way she JUMPS at the chance to fight "for real" again.

As a Powerpuff Girl, as a kid, Buttercup always felt like all she could do was fight. Blossom was the smart one, the leader; Bubbles was the kind one, the friend to all. Yeah, they all had the same capabilities, but like most twins and triplets, they specialized. So the could hit, too, but she could hit best.

Having their hero work taken away from them hit Buttercup hardest of all. Especially because when they started trying to take up "normal" hobbies, Blossom and Bubbles had an easier time holding back their powers while she felt like she had no middle ground between laughably weak and giving her all. Basically, a feedback loop. So Buttercup has spent the last ten years walking on eggshells Constantly and is ready to go Ape Shit.

All of these skewed self esteem issues make her crazy self sacrificial and beastly to fight. She's not holding back anymore, and she never will again! This is who she is, this is all she'll ever be, and she'll die as herself rather than give anything less than 100%!

You know, terrifying.

Comes to a head when one of her sisters takes a hit meant for her and she realizes that she might be the most fucked up, but they kind of all are a little fucked up. The same, but more so.

Obviously everyone's going to want the Rowdyruff Boys to feature heavily, maybe the teaser after the midseason/season finale is them making parole or something? I've got to admit, they were never my favorite villains. If the series leans more comedy, maybe start with them coming (back?) to school and purposefully starting trouble while making direct eye contact, since they Know.

I definitely see the Gangreen Gang being involved with Buttercup's tattoo parlor place. Not even commiting crimes, just being Green and sleezy. Or, shit, that's a racial profiling allegory. Very CW, but no thanks! I have no trust in my senshi heart, you will fuck it up, forget I said anything.

That being said, if you don't get the license for ANY Gorillaz music, when Ace has canonically played for them? Fuck right off.

I really want HIM to appear in a place of prominence, like a season finale. Just rip HIM straight out of the cartoon, don't try to update HIS appearance or schtick at all. But HE is all about getting into your head and toying with your insecurities, right? I just went through all this effort to give the girls imposter syndrome and negative self worth, let HIM play.

I regret my formatting choices on that last paragraph.

Also Halloween episode where they go as their alter egos from Super Zeroes and the monster is like "Oh not this shit again" and the girls are like "hey, we can dress up AND kick ass".