#but the thing is theres nothing in your life that you can pinpoint it to??

[whateveriscatchy]

x

[running-with-kn1ves]

Had this thought about yandere husband gardener where he buries the corpse of ppl on his very VERY large garden who tries to take his wife!reader away and reader always sees her husband he always do gardening weirdly at night when in reality he was burying a body. And if garden is already full of corpses why not bury it on the woods nearby.

I love this!!! I believe something similar happened in the movie Secret Obsession? It's such a perfect idea.

I imagine more of a househusband who loves gardening, cooking, etc. So his... skills arent all that questionable. Why does he have a bone saw and multiple different drills? Well to cut up meats and such for your dinners of course! The sudden growth of your garden and the mysterious 7 foot holes that seemed to pop up out of nowhere? Well its growing season honey it's time to plant!It's always a liiitttle bit of a stretch, but just believable enough for you not to question it. He may come back to bed with flecks of blood and dirt occasionally, but doesn't it give him the manly musk you admire so much?

I can definitely see him as the more homely, scruffy type with dad glasses and disheveled hair. He's got a cheesy 'kiss the cook' pink apron for when hes making you homemade meals, and a dark black one for when hes disposing of his victims.

He just loves you so much-- and cant help but say it at any moment of every day that he can. There isnt a lack of love in your relationship-- that's for sure. But you always feel like something is missing, like theres something wrong but you cant pinpoint it. Maybe it's because everyone in your life seems to be disappearing, or because your husband feels too perfect.

But even though things feel wrong, you can't bring yourself to say anything to your doting husband. You cant destroy things, not when he seems so happy. You always find him grinning, either when cleaning or coming back from the garden, covered in dirt and smelling like iron.

You worry when he speaks so possessively, promising nothing will ever come to harm you, that everyone who ever could is, "out of the way." You find that the days and nights where he spends longer in the garden, the dirtier he becomes, the louder the sounds in the basement are, he becomes more loving. More doting. Hes so affectionate with you, unable to stop himself from smothering you with kisses and handsy grabs. He seems exhausted, tired yet lovestruck.

You insist that he should let you do some of the work, that he should take a break. But he always seems to do his duties with a tired grin, claiming its 'his enjoyment as your husband.' And you wouldn't want to take away his responsibilities and hobbies, right? Even when you claim you can help in the garden and do the dishes, that you're not helpless. But all he wants is you to stay his sweet little spouse, working so hard to provide for your family, while he makes sure you have a nice warm meal and a nice warm husband to come back home to.

[chiiyuuvv]

[DAY 6] masterlist ᡣ𐭩 !

— " why are you staring? Is there something on my face? " ; friends to lovers ft. hunter

♡list : @yzerpoz , @imthisclosetokms , @rizzkisworld , @hyvelxve , @dogyunslover , @starryriize

"Hey! Why aren't you paying attention?" Seeun snaps his fingers in front of your zoned out face, a pout on his face as you blink away your daydreams. "Maybe she doesnt want to hear your rant." Says hunter who was scrolling on his phone unbothered, licking off some ketchup from his finger before resting his chin on it.

"Hunt-"

"Sorry, I'm just super sleepy." You cut off the boys that were just about to start their weekly fusses, a yawn leaving your lips as you rub your eyes, laying your arm on the lunch table before resting your forehead against it.

Seeun and hunter share a worried glance at you then each other, before deciding to keep quiet so they dont accidentally annoy you or something. Being sleepy was true.. but it wasnt the full truth. You werent daydreaming about climbing into your bed and clocking out for the day, you were daydreaming about a certain someone.

Seeun.

It was just so.. weird finding seeun anything other than annoying, your heart skipping beats whenever you catch him looking at you. Why was this the case? You werent sure, too overwhelmed with your feelings to pinpoint an exact answer. Seeun wasnt doing anything different. He was just his regular 'ol seeun self, being at the top of the class while also the class clown, finding new opportunities to make you and hunter laugh.

Yet now it feels like butterflies swarm your stomach whenever you crack a smile at seeuns behavior, hiding your face in your hands to cover your blush. It didn't help that seeun is touchy too, carefully prying your hands away to return the smile, your faces inches away from each other and it feels like your heart was going to explode.

It also didn't help you were starting to dream about the boy, shooting up every night to wipe the sweat from your brows when he was seconds away from kissing you.

In your dreams of course.

You could never imagine actually kissing seeun in real life, the nerves getting the best of you, plus, seeun didnt even like you. You were sure of it. He only saw you as a friend as he did with everyone else. Theres no need to be so delusional.

Until you hear a voice calling your name. And a warm hand attached to your hair, rubbing your scalp. You didnt know what was going on but you enjoyed it, a satisfied hum leaving your lips as you lean into the touch.

"Hey!" You hear that same voice again, a familiar voice. "Wake up, pleasee," you could hear the pout in the voice, and suddenly youre yanked from your precious sleep, lifting your head up to find your friends staring at you.

"Sorry, sorry. Wait- I fell asleep?" You ask confusedly. You dont even remember closing your eyes, let alone snoring. "Are you sure you're okay?" A concerned hunter asks, and although seeun doesnt say anything you can see the concern in his eyes.

When he was so caring, he was so cute, following you like a lost puppy just to make sure you were mentally and physically stable. It was adorable. "Why are you staring? Is there something on my face?" Seeun snaps you out of your thoughts, touching his face in confusion as you realize you were indeed staring.

"Huh? Oh nothing.. its nothing." You avoid his gaze, looking to your side to hide your red cheeks. While it might have worked on seeun, hunter could read you like a book, a smirk quipped onto his face as he watches you clueless idiots. He knew you two would like each other. If not then, it was definitely now.

He stretches his arms as the bell rings, signaling lunch and break time was over. His eyes follow your figure, watching as you hurriedly pack your things before bolting out of the door. But he was already a step in front of you. Patting your shoulder, he slows you down, his next words making your mind spin. "Just, you know, tell him."

Hunter says those five words so casually, like this wasnt some big deal, like he wasnt aware of how you affected you were before walking off, adjusting his straps like it was such an easy thing to do. You despised him, affectionly.

"Wait up!" Seeun runs after you, snapping you out of your thoughts once again. "You know, I've never seen you think before." He hurriedly moves away from your flying hand as you try to hit him, before comfortably walking beside you like a few seconds prior. "Serious, what's wrong? I've never seen you like this." He pouts again, his voice softening and you just want to jump off a cliff at how fast your heart was beating.

"Seeun, its nothi-"

"I know you." He cuts you off, grabbing your hands and looking deep into your eyes. "I know when somethings on your mind."

You open your mouth to say something, but it seemed like the words just evaporated. Seeun shakes his head, before affectionly rubbing his fingers on your palm. "If you cant say it, do it."

"What?"

"You heard me. Do it." You've never seen seeun so serious, his eyes boring into yours before you look away, nervous about the eye contact. But what you wanted to do.. could ruin your friendship. "Please.." he breaks you from your second guesses, his voice strained with desperation. So much desperation you decide to do it, ignoring the consequences.

And without stopping to think you actually do it, getting on your tippy toes to give the frozen boy a peck on the cheek. It was something small, but it felt like you were set on fire. Your hands were still connected so you look down at him, anxiously waiting for his repsonse as you chew on your bottom lip out of fear.

Did you actually ruin everything? A few seconds pass by and still nothing, your eyes stinging as you let go of his hands, about to book it to your next class and cry your eyes out. But you feel something tug at your wrist before youre slammed against the wall, seeun intertwining your hands before placing it above your head, leaning his own to lay his lips onto yours.

Your eyes widen and youre glad youre holding hands because you feel your knees getting weak, but after relaxing under his soft touch he wraps your hands around his neck, his own resting on your waist. You stay like that for a while, enjoying your presences while slowly deepening the kiss. It breaks after a couple seconds because of your shared smiles, your eyes fluttering open to stare at the other in content.

"eHEM. We still have class people," hunter comes out of his hiding spot, scaring the both of you. "R-right." Seeun clears his throat before walking behind hunter, his hands slowly interwining with yours as he gives you a lovesick smile. "We'll talk about this later, okay?" He whispers to you, his eyes lighting up as you nod.

"Okay." You reply before blushing furiously when seeun presses a kiss to your forehead.

"GUYS!!"

[enlighten3d]

i know i said id write this post four hours ago but i had to do the merge dragons event. anyway.

WINGS ! how the fuck would they be treated on smps where theres pvp? (this is an au where Everyone has wings. and talons but well get into that Later. this is about the wings sdhkjgl)

(context post btw: here)

they are very much a weak point in combat, id saying. if you fuck someones wings up, they are done for. cant fly away, permanent damage. and theres not many ways to defend them (beyond putting armour on the flesh and bone part of the wing - which would do a lot more than it sounds like!). so i do think that it would be social taboo to go for someones wings in battle.

but even if it is social taboo.. accidents happen, and it works differently on different servers, right? and thats what this post is about ! focusing on smps where theres actual Combat (sorry hermitcrafters and kww collab fans)

first off, my beloved.. the dream smp. honestly! i think people would NOT go for the wings. there may be wars and actually genuinely fucked up stuff, but going for the wings in a fight is taking it too far. accidents have DEFINITELY happened tho, what with the sheer amount of withers and explosions. like phils wings being fucked up! yes i know thats a canon thing but im using it to prove my point here. the EXCEPTION to this 'people not intentionally going for the wings' thing is, well. c!dream. the fucker would INSTANTLY go for the wings whenever he has an opportunity. its a weak point, of course he'd abuse the fuck out of it, like. its impossible to expect anything otherwise.

lifesteal!! this ones fun to me because i think theyd have Concrete Rules on this. like they already do! from off the top of my head, i remember that netherite armour is banned, for example. i think going for the wings would just be... another thing thats banned. and no matter how deep into the Lore that people get, those rules are GEEENERALLYYYYY followed. the wings one for sure is. it may be the dEaDlIeSt SeRvEr, but theyre all there willingly. getting their wings fucked up is not something ANYONE wants. i dont know enough about lifesteal to pinpoint specific times that Accidents wouldve happened but! whatever. this is one rule that they always follow i think. (please dont kill me for this one if you disagree, i havent watched enough lifesteal)

now the life series... naturally, going for the wings is banned. ..but only nominally, really. all bets are off when youre on red, right? i really dont think there could be anything to stop people on red from going for peoples wings in fights. i mean, depending on your interpretation of the life series (as in, does being on red actually make someone Bloodthirsty like most common fanon, or is it just a Thing that lets someone attack others?), this can change, but i like the first one, so with that in mind... yeah nothing would stop people on red from going for the wings. this only gets MORE INTERESTING if you believe life series and hermitcraft to be connected in some way... with the inevitable wing injuries that would come from the life series, if they just... go back to hermitcraft and other servers afrterwards... if those injuries are permanent (which i do believe they are), then... oh that would be Something hehe. keeping this in my back pocket a fic idea, yall are free to yoink it.

and last but not least, bcs i dont actually watch that many smps (esp not with fighting) or whatever... unstable universe. pretty much what i said for lifesteal! like! i dont see any reason why itd be any different. yes unstableverse doesnt have Rules like lifesteal, but... theyre mostly the same people. if they can follow that Rule in lifesteal, combined with the social taboo thing, i think that they wouldnt really go for the wings. thats just a line you dont cross. (..also wemmbu did canonically yoink Most of the elytras on the whole server at one point, and in this context i think it would be funny if he just somehow managed to disable flight for a while, but thats a whole other thing unrelated to wings in combat lmao)

ANYWAY YEAH THATS THAT. I HAVE SOOOO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT HOW WINGS IN COMBAT WOULD ACTUALLY WORK. might write a post about that.

this is all headcanons !! im making shit up, as always !! o7

[davejade-daily]

3 - massive fail 2 electric boogaloo

---

As soon as he steps foot through the door, he is totally regretting his life’s decisions. Scanning the room, it is as he feared: The Girl is there, laughing with Karkat and, surprisingly, John. Dave does a double take. John and Karkat in the same room together? He’s surprised the place is still standing. Dave hopes that she - Jade, right? - has forgotten all about him and his massive uncool failure, but Karkat turns his head to see who’s at the door, and shit, the jig is up. It’s all over. He can pinpoint the exact moment Karkat realizes the power he has to turn around and ruin Dave’s life. He does not disappoint, nudging Jade and saying something barely audible to her. John perks up, looking over as well. Take a picture losers, it’ll last longer, Dave thinks sourly as John begins to wave.

JOHN: dave!!! it’s me, john!! 

DAVE: wow really i hadnt noticed

He makes his way up to the counter, Rose in tow. He knows she’s watching all this go down with sharp amusement, feeling her beady little eyes on his back. John is sitting on the counter (to compensate for his shortness), and Karkat moves up to the register in front of them. Jade is nowhere to be seen.

KARKAT: HEY DAVE. 

He gives Dave a shit-eating grin. 

KARKAT: HAVE I INTRODUCED YOU TO MY FRIEND YET? 

KARKAT: I THINK YOU’D REALLY LIKE HER. 

KARKAT: YOU HAVEN’T MET BEFORE, RIGHT? 

DAVE: no no i definitely havent she doesnt have a very memorable face no siree 

DAVE: who is this person to have been deemed worthy of my acquaintance

DAVE: im a very busy guy karkat

DAVE: not a lot of time for trivial matters like consorting with coffee-making damsels

KARKAT: OH I’M SURE. 

KARKAT: COME HERE, LOVE. OH SORRY, I MEAN LOVELY LADY.

The lady in question pokes her head out of the pantry, tilting it quizzically.

JADE: wait karkat are you talking to me

JADE: i mean uhh

JADE: yes?

KARKAT: I WANT YOU TO MEET SOMEONE.

KARKAT: THIS IS DAVE.

DAVE: sup 

DAVE: nice to meet you

DAVE: definitely for the first time

JADE: uhhh yeah! likewise

Dave holds his hand out to shake, and Jade awkwardly slaps it like a high five. This is going great. Karkat looks ready to pass away from holding in hysterical laughter. In the background, John looks confused. This is not an unusual occurance, as John is often confused. It’s a fact of life at this point. Rose has ambled over to the display case and appears to be intently scrutinizing the goods. 

DAVE: so uh

DAVE: john

DAVE: whatre you doing here

DAVE: are you a coffee connoisseur

DAVE: now are you fancy bitch or starbucks junkie

DAVE: i dont see you as either honestly but then again i didnt know you liked coffee at all

JOHN: no, i’m visiting my sister! jade.

JOHN: do you really not remember me ever talking about her?

JOHN: we’ve known eachother for what, 6 years?

JOHN: i even said something about it a couple days ago! i told you i would be busy because i would be helping her here.

DAVE: i have no recollection of this 

DAVE: wheres the evidence egbert

KARKAT: I CALL BULLSHIT. 

DAVE: surprise surprise

DAVE: im shocked

DAVE: flabbergasted even

DAVE: if i wasnt so young youd need to call life alert because i just had a heart attack

JADE: i know cpr!!

DAVE: impressive

DAVE: a woman of many talents 

DAVE: i respect that 

ROSE: So very feminist of you, Dave.

ROSE: Your progress is astounding.

JOHN: dave’s a feminist now?

JOHN: i think the lack of sun exposure on his eyes has somehow warped his brain.

DAVE: whats the problem guys theres nothing wrong with feminism 

DAVE: i love feminism. i. love women?

KARKAT: ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?

ROSE: Did something change in the last few minutes that I wasn’t aware of?

KARKAT: I SEEM TO RECALL DIFFERENT THINGS.

JOHN: i like women too. 

John nods in a very serious manner. Dave can’t tell whether he’s actually serious or doing it for the bit. He doesn’t think he wants to know the answer

DAVE: im glad

DAVE: women really need to be liked and treasured

DAVE: anyway

DAVE: can i get a uhh

DAVE: latte

Karkat resumes his place at the register and ringing him up. Jade turns and starts making the espresso, and Dave steps back to let Rose order. He finds himself a seat at the bar counter next to John, resting his arms on it and talking about nothing in particular. He’s only half paying attention, watching Jade work from the relative privacy his shades offer.

A short while later, a latte is pushed across the counter to him. The frothy milk jiggles a bit as it stops, and he observes the expertly poured heart shape in the foam. When he looks up, Jade has already moved on to the next customer, laughing over her shoulder at something he can’t see.

---

hey there quick authors note ig

thank you (especially you!! you know who you are. you can absolutely be crowned our number one fan) for the support on our silly little self-indulgent writing

:)

[snobgoblin]

🍎💛 for the emoji ask!

x THANK YOU! sorry this took a hot minute I just got off work and settled

🍎 RED APPLE — where was your oc born? do they still live in/around their place of birth or do they live somewhere else? how do they feel about their birthplace?

➼ he was born in Vesuvia! yeah he still lives there but not quite the same place. like he was born in the South End but now he lives in the Center City. he actually doesn't know that so he doesn't think anything of it but he's curious about the South End. as far as he knows he's never been there, he's heard there's a really interesting market but the stories kind of scare him out of it

💛 YELLOW HEART — how many languages does your oc speak? what language(s) are they learning, if any?

➼ okay I'm gonna preface this by saying I know it's a fantasy world and everything and the devs have said "there's no real life equivalents to the languages spoken" but there's obvious CODING at play so I'm just going to refer to the languages by their real life counterparts for simplicity (also like. Vesuvia is enough of a melting pot that I don't think "Vesuvian" would be a single language you could even pinpoint- with that said theres very obvious Italian coding in a lot of the names of people we know are from Vesuvia, or can reasonably assume they are (Prospero, Spada, Valerius, Volta)) ANYWAY

➼his native language is Italian, and he doesn't really speak other languages. not enough to carry on a conversation anyway, (like he can't understand Mazelinka when she's speaking Russian/the salt flat dialects, but he can read SOME of Julian's letter to Portia. so like he's picked up things here and there but nothing that I'd say he's anything but monolingual <- trait taken from in game) and also, I think they mention in game that the player can read some of Asras parents books, but not very much, so he probably knows some Arabic as well

➼ as for if he's going to learn any new languages, he would like to but he isn't sure where to start. in this case, the languages he ends up learning depends on the route, since he'd end up learning the language his partner speaks. like he learns Russian with Julian or Portia's route and German with Lucio's route etc- probably even more for characters that know a lot of languages (like Nadia and Julian)

[its-no-biggie]

okay i said before that i didnt have a lot to say about banana fish but i lied. i have thoughts about the ending (spoilers ahead!)

because holy shit. like. ash deciding not to see eiji?? and eiji knowing that hes doing it for his own good, and trying and failing not to get his hopes up, and giving the letter to sing to deliver? and sing yelling at ash to go see eiji and ash still not budging? and then ash reads the letter and THATS what changes his mind, so he gets up and starts running and its all priming you for the dramatic reunion at the airport. something something love can overcome anything, happily ever after, the end, right?

but then ash gets stabbed. by someone who had obviously been tailing him and wasnt particularly skilled. someone who never shouldve been able to sneak up on him. and its such a forceful reminder that eiji is ashs weakness, which we've known from the start, but the danger was supposed to be over! it specifically waits for you to let your guard down, to really slam it home that everyone was RIGHT. that eiji makes ash let his guard down, and that it would one day get him killed.

and like. okay. we know this from very early on. the narrative is perfectly clear that what they have is doomed. that its going to cause a lot of pain for both of them and can never end happily. you want to believe that they can overcome it, that once the fighting is over they can be happy together, but the story keeps telling you over and over that this isnt going to go that way, no matter how much either of them want it. BUT. the point is that it was worth it anyway.

ash lowers his defenses around eiji, and thats a GOOD thing. being together puts them both in danger, but its better than being apart. to love is to be vulnerable, and having someone that you can trust, that you can let your guard down around, is something worth fighting for. worth losing everything for. worth DYING for. ash is CONSTANTLY presented with chances to fix everything if he can just let go of eiji. but he chooses eiji every time and even though it always makes his own life worse, his own burden heavier, he never once regrets it. theres nothing he wouldnt do to keep eiji safe. to keep eiji nearby. he sabotages his own allies to save him. he risks getting caught just to see him one more time. he drops everything for an opportunity at happily ever after and pays the ultimate price for it. but he NEVER EVER REGRETS IT. he dies because of his love for eiji and he does it with a smile on his face. and eiji goes back to his peaceful and happy life with tears in his eyes because hes doing it without ash.

i dunno. maybe im reading into it too much, or maybe this is an extremely surface level analysis and everyone got it the first time but me. but i just remember the first time i watched it, being so shaken by the ending. i thought they deserved a happy ending, and was hoping they would finally get it, but when it didnt happen i didnt feel betrayed or frustrated by it. just shaken. it felt like a really good ending, but i couldnt pinpoint why. because all i could think is that it seems so unfair to rip away their happy ending like that. and it took this second watch through to really figure out why it works.

also side note but. as much as i respect the asheiji shippers (because like. yeah. literally the most resonable ship ever) im really glad that its platonic in the show. they love each other very deeply, and thats what the show is about, but it doesnt HAVE to be romantic to be meaningful. and i like that! i can certainly see the shipping potential, and i can even see how it could be interpreted as queer-coded, but i also just like it as a story about friendship. its really nice. anyway 10/10 i love this show so much

[the7thcrow]

ok coming into ur ask box this time so we dont have to be confined to the comment limit LOL and dont apologise for rambling i Wanted to pick your brain abt this!! sdhfgjksdfk i see… misbelief about the world driving the plot forward rather than their own motivation, that actually Is a very common plot device in y/n fic now that i think abt it. whenever i try to make my mcs Intentionally vague, it's usually their appearance, or anything regarding their gender. like now that i think abt it i dont think ive ever even tried writing an mc that is vague as a character itself? bc to me, a vague character, a "blank slate", is still a character, just one that lacks any life to it. like, among the writers i like interacting with on here and typically enjoy reading most, the general consensus seems to be that most dont actually read y/n as themselves and see them as more of a vague oc anyway, even as a reader, as they don't actually have any interest in inserting Themselves into a story in the very self-inserty, projecting way y/n fic is known for, and thats why they prefer a really fleshed-out mc.

personally, as a reader i seem to be the niche in between where i Do like projecting myself into the story as a character, but i Don't like blank slate mcs - because theres nothing to project On. i project onto self-insert characters the same way i project onto fully-fleshed characters in regular media, or hell, the same way i sometimes project onto an idol's image themselves. a reader insert being in second person just kinda helps enable the projection, and of course im gonna feel More seen by projecting onto characters that are More similar to me whether that be in gender/pronouns/appearance/personality/etc, but like... i dont go into it expecting to see the Entirety of Myself, written by someone else. i go into expecting to see someone else, in their wholeness as a character, and have them written compellingly enough that i can slot myself over them because even if i wouldnt do things the same way they would, i can still understand them and get in their head enough to "be" them for a while, in a way? like, even if i dont Personally relate to them, if theyre written well enough i can relate to how theyre feeling. kind of. i dont know if this makes any sense. i guess i just like feeling like a part of the story as a reader rather than Watching a story happen, kind of like playing a story-based video game with a preset ending - i get to play out the story as if im a part of it, and im gonna enjoy it even more if the character im playing as is similar to me, but even if theyre not, it still feels like im them for the duration of that story. and playing as a character that has no lines or backstory just isnt Nearly as compelling as playing as a character with a motive. yk? like with video games a blank protag is more forgiving bc you can create your own, but thats what fic is for. thats intentional. but you dont write fic of fic to fill in the blanks like that, so those blanks needa be filled already, imo.

as a writer i like the focus to be on the relationship dynamic the reader has with any of the given love interests, and i don't know how to create a relationship dynamic between two characters when only one character has a defined personality. bc the first question i ask myself is "what are these two characters like together? how do they play off each other/whats their interactions like?" so at this point im like ok x is a snark and y is a sunshine so x teases a lot and y just eats that shit up and gives contrastingly wholesome responses. or something like that. just for a vague idea of what they look like interacting. n then when i start working on the actual Plot, the question is "what made them fall in love with each other?" and This is what i base the entirety of the plot around. i pinpoint the specific traits that theyd like in one another, then i craft the perfect situations for them to experience those traits and fall in love with them. to do that, i need traits for the love interest to fall in love with, and i need a criteria for what the mc will be looking for in the love interest, and such a criteria comes from personality. theyre such closely intertwined concepts to me that i cant separate one from the other, hence why my mc's are all closer to faceless, nameless oc's than a blank slate. the only thing making me hesitate from following melty's lead and straying directly into named oc 2nd person fiction is the fact that i as a reader do like inserting my own name as y/n lmfao on my pc i even have a browser extension that does it for me. but i can use that same extension to change an oc's name in someone elses story so its not a big deal to me as a reader, but i just wonder if there are readers similar to me but that would be thrown off by having a different name instead.

this is really long and rambly unprompted so i apologise SKDFJGSKDFK but ive been itching to get my thoughts out on the matter with all this talk abt how we approach writing mcs. i didn't realise how many longfic writers put so much effort into writing a character so intentionally vague for the purpose of making someone that "could be anybody." but then again, considering im personally alienated from 95% of the fic i read just as a non-woman polyamorous person (among so many other factors), i guess other readers are a lot more used to actually being able to see a perfect carbon copy of themselves in self inserts without having to squint too hard at the lines. huh. wonder what thats like. SKDFGJSDFKGKDF

adding the break as to not horribly flood the dash

i really like what you said about feeling like a part of the story rather than watching it. i’ve been extremely negative all night about this, but at the end of day, i obviously enjoy 2nd person pov. i would hope so, after the shit-ton i’ve read and written, and continue to read and write about it. there is something nice about stepping into the story and experiencing something in such a different way. i enjoy it as a reader, it’s a different kind of experience. it’s really neat.

to be clear, i don’t think i write a total blank-slate. like, to give myself a bit of credit i think all my mc’s have a personality for sure. relationship dynamics with people surrounding them, definitely. they’re usually headstrong and maybe a bit cocky, bc that’s what i like to read and frankly, am generally like LMAO. i by no means take out lines or subject matter bc it could be too much unlike someone reading it. but idk, i feel less inclined to spend as much time as i should creating a completely fleshed out character when i don’t even have an image for them in my head, and majority of readers are going to imagine that it’s themselves anyway (which frankly, as they should, it’s literally called reader-insert). it’s definitely not an everyone problem. like from what you said it definitely seems like reader-insert has helped you develop characters and dive into them, but i just don’t think it works the same way for me.

i’ve been thinking a lot about character building lately. fanfiction itself is one of the most helpful tools and greatest liabilities for character building. on the one-hand, you learn to bring an idea to life. you learn how to really embody a character or person, especially in rpf where you sorta can do whatever you want with no canon, but everyone has a sort of idea or interpretation anyway. but it also relies on the fact that your audience already loves the characters you are using, instead of you having to start from scratch to make them love them.

maybe that’s why my original oc’s feel flat in my personal writings. when people read “y/n” obviously they already care about them bc well, to a lot of people it is them. which is the literal point of reader insert, so i think it would be extremely stupid to discourage that. but for me it feels a bit limiting.

speaking of which, there’s this idea of “y/n” and god… GOD do i hate it.😭not reading wise, bc i understand the appeal and literally throw my name in there and have since i was a pre-teen, but writing wise. i stopped using y/n in my fics as a name holder bc i didn’t like it in there anymore and i couldn’t place why for a while, but i think it’s bc when people call my mc “y/n” it’s just like… in the end that’s all she is. i can put as much planning and shit into this character but she’s not really a character, she feels like a placeholder. at least when we refer to her as mc it’s like, she’s her own thing. she is the main character™️ but when people are like, i love your “y/n”! it’s like she’s compared on this scale of reader-inserts compared to an actual breathing complicated protagonist. it’s hard to explain and i think i’m doing a horrible job, but that’s how i feel about it.

you’re also someone who like, does not do this whatsoever, and comments and discusses the mc as an actual character which i really appreciate. bc you do also write, and i think you share perspective on that even if also inserting yourself into the story. i sorta do both too. you get it. i think this is in a lot of ways a me issue more than a collective issue, which is why it probably sounds a bit messy and maybe just incorrect lmao. but idk, the bottom line of what i’m feeling is if i really want to work on protagonist building and that’s my number one priority that i need to improve upon, why would i do it a genre where a lot of readers (and thus those giving the feedback that i try and use to improve upon) are going to often judge the mc solely on the level of relatability, imagine that it is them and thus view it as such rather than an actual character, i can’t (and shouldn’t) flesh out mannerisms / appearance, and overall just causes an extra level of struggle compared to a third person character that i can fully embody with none of these limits.

especially if i’m starting to realize how much i really like writing in third, it just seems like that is what’s probably the right path for me as a writer. i’m still going to write natgig because i love it and it allows me to do a mixture of all these things, i’m still going to write reader-insert. but if i’m working on individual character building and embodiment revolving around the protagonist, i think a necessary step for me is to redirect a lot of my energy into writing some third-person non reader-insert pov.

[crepuscollo]

you know what i think the problem is? i continuously let people who don’t meet my mandatory needs into my life. thats why i end up hurt. i never told them what i need and half the time idk what i need anyway. i just let things go for everyone. i dont speak up. i usually dont even know it bothered me till later. and sometimes i think thats j how things are and i cant fix them theres nthn this person can do; blame everything on myself. from here on out, i wanna rlly make sure that i communicate my feelings. im so fucking tired of my emotional needs not being met and walking over myself and just keeping the peace. well, im not at peace.

god. i always let them. im “unproblematic” “low maintenance” “carefree” “everything is simple and nothing is a big deal”. right? cause thats how i gotta be. or else everything would go up in flames. this is how i was fucking raised alright?

my mum makes everything a problem w ruins everything for everyone. so im never gonna be like my mum; always sharing her opinion and expressing herself and saying things and shit. even if all of it is stress, its easier to not show it, it’s easier fof everyone around u. and its not like its unhealthy, right? no bad side effects. and its not like thsres room for 2 stressed and overwhelmed indiciduals right? there cant be. i havs to stay sane. cause she has to act insane.

my dad on the other hand? dont care. carefree. life is simple. life is too short to worry and stress and react and feel. unbothered, unprovoked, uninterested. he seems happy he seems okay. and my mum doesnt.

so how the fuck do u think i turned out? my dad telling me the way to live ur life is to not care and not cause problems and j give ppl simple solutions to their problems. just salek. and no one and no thing can be a problem big enough to make u give a reaction or stress or falter. keep the peace, yeah? all this while my mums anxiety eats away at her. constantly worrying ab this and that and overwhelmed and overstimulated and her minds in bits and pieces and here and there and not sleeping and not focusing not asking no more fucks to give no more space to care about her daughter and fuck, no one gives a shit. LIFE IS EASY ITS SIMPLE JUST DONT WORRY ABOUT NOTHING.

so, how. the fuck. do you think i turned out?

i bottled up my emotions so much to the point where im so overwhelmed but i cant even pinpoint a single feeling. its just all there, overflowing, but i cant see it. i cant feel it. i dont know how. and im afraid that if i start i wont be able to stop.

fun fact: when im crying i dont like being held. i want space. i need reassurance and being told im normal im okay ill be fine cuz it may seem pointless but i need to hear it “youre okay. its okay. youre okay. everything will work out. ill be there. together well make everything right again. dont worry, okay? we got this. you and me? we got this. there’s nothing we cant handle. nothing. is everything is in our hands and is handled and is fine. dont worry. please dont worry. we got this.” and god, i need my tears to be wiped away by some loving hands.

dont talk. just listen to me. tell me that if i share it, and say it, and let you in, well be in it together, and youll help me, and hear me out, and share and unbiased outside perspective. tell me you care so much you just want to take my pain away. you want to hear it. all my thoughts that are eating away at me, if i let them out they lose their power. tell me why you wanna know and dont tell me u wanna know bec u wanna help tell me u wanna know bec u wanna keep me safe and u care and u dojt think i should be alone in my mind. then stop talking. dont over do it. dont be desperate. i need to know its okay if i dont talk. once u tell me ur here with me and i have space to say everything out loud, then create that space with your silence. give me a moment. i need a moment to say it. dont interrupt me. dont give ur opinion. dont try to guess what i want. just dont try. tell me to tell u exactly what it is that i need. let me tell u the story and everything and then ill tell u oh this situation is making me sad or making me regretful so that means i need comforting or ill tell u idk what to do or im confused or idk how i feel then i need advice or if im j overwhelmed and stressed and needed to talk then i need a distraction. let me tell u what i want because if u interrupt or guess or give the wrong expression at the wrong moment itll make me feel misunderstood and unable to communicate how i feel and ill stop trying to talk. i need u to wipe away my tears and give me kisses. not hugs. kisses. let me initiate the hugs.

[jonnnysuh]

"do you notice anything different about me?"

Requested by anon: "could you do seventeen's reaction to their s/o asking the dreaded question: "do you notice anything different about me? :D" without them having the SLIGHTEST idea qwq"

A/N: i swear to god every time i write something for seventeen it becomes my new favourite thing. pls send more requests!!! Imma start tagging myself in these... .. i am Vernon no i will not elaborate.

S COUPS- Does a full 360 around you, with his finger tapping his lip. Doesn't want to say the wrong thing because he's been in trouble before.

JEONGHAN- Gets it wrong and then says something deep about how life is constantly changing and different and in ten years from now you'll look different again.

JOSHUA- freezes in place like oh shit umMMM. stares at you for a very long time but eventually gets it.

JUN- OFFENDED! APPALLED! That you would ever think he didn't notice! Can't believe you thought so little of him! He needs to take a walk! to think about it!

HOSHI- Confidently says something and will try to convince you it HAS changed when you tell him it's wrong.

WONWOO- "Nothing." You've made him look dumb before and he's not playing your games smh. Will analyze your body when you walk away and wonder if that was the right answer tho.

WOOZI- Goes "Your hair. Your hair looks so good!?" Unsure, but the way he fakes his confidence is almost commendable.

DK- Names everything but the actual change you made. Wants a clue. Actually wants 3 clues. Point to the general area... hmm.

MINGYU- "I have no idea because-theres-nothing-in-the-world-that-I-would-ever-change-about-you." sir... take a breath. ALSO THE BIGGEST COP OUT EVER.

THE8- Tells you specifically what it is that changed, how you changed it. Looks at you like "duh"

SEUNGKWAN- Barely looks at you and can pinpoint it almost immediately.

VERNON-Says something dumb like "ears" BRO??? LMAO?? YOU THOUGHT THEY GOT EAR SURGERY?? Pls ask him if he thinks your ears got bigger or smaller I wanna know the answer.

DINO- thinks it's just a yes or no question so he responds. When you stare at him he's like "OH! You wanted me to guess?"

[peachiimilquetea]

something angsty with tenya leaving fem reader for the event? ty! prompt: “you can’t leave me. i don’t know how to survive without you.”

“𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞. 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮.” + tenya iida

a/n: bro… i don’t really like angst without the potential for a somewhat happy ending so i hope you’re ok with the fact that it’s not completely sad. i did pull on the heartstrings quite a bit tho, i hope you enjoy! check out the event here

contains: angst (obviously), iida being heavily influenced by his family, tensei to the rescue lowkey, crying, insecurities, mentions of alcohol, ambiguous ending, miscommunication

length: 2.0k

at first things had started off small.

iida worked long hours as the work of his brother’s hero agency fell on his shoulders. he tried his best to make time for you, but it always felt like your schedules could never line up just right.

you tried to work something out, quick calls on break times and cute messages around the house to remind you of one another, but most efforts fell flat.

then things started to get worse.

long and empty nights were spent building up resentment towards the man you had married. he was always doing something, something that took precedence over the vows you made when you walked down the isle no more than three years ago.

you knew his family didn’t like you that much, feeling that a marriage for love was a waste of such a powerful commitment. a commitment that could built them an empire, and boost the rank of their hero agency, solidifying a legacy for them.

tenya defied them for you, boldly declaring that he would marry whoever he wanted and that you were in it for the long haul. you were the girl of his dreams, he said, and anything that got in the way of his happiness was not something he would subscribe to. that only made them hate you more.

so when his texts of encouragement grew shorter and more sparse, and he began to have more special responsibilities bestowed upon him by none other than his father, you knew it was on purpose.

unfortunately, it was an effective strategy to chip away at a young and unseasoned marriage.

“tenya can you please just check your schedule? i really want to spend more time with you.”

he sighed and rubbed his temples as he sat in his office. why were you bothering him with something so insignificant? you knew how important this transition of power was for the iida family, for the legacy of ingenium, but you still persisted.

he could feel the anger beginning to build until he looked in your eyes and saw the sadness brimming in them. his heart squeezed in his chest as he watched you, his wife, plead with him to spend time together. when had things come to this?

“i’ll try my best, but i cant promise anything.”

at this point, that was better than anything you could’ve hoped for.

with a kiss to his forehead you left him alone to get the heaps of paperwork he had to do, spirits lifted at the prospect of spending time with him again. just like the way it used to be.

you checked the time on the microwave for the 9th time. fifty-seven minutes had passed and your husband was officially late.

you should have seen it coming really, empty promises were becoming more and more common amongst the two of you. he would promise to try harder and you would promise to cut him more slack, the constant push and pull never being enough for either party.

getting up from the barstool at your kitchen island you made your way to the wine cooler to get a drink. not even bothering to pick up a glass you slumped on the couch, kicking off your shoes and splaying yourself out, just wanting the cushions to swallow you whole and dull the aching in your heart.

he wasn’t coming.

he was never coming.

you laid passed out on the couch when iida finally came home 2 hours later. he was only stopping by for a quick break, then going back out on patrol and he completely forgot about the things he said, smiling through tired eyes as he thought, this time i’ll make it up to her.

at the very least he could clean you up and tuck you in. he could brace himself for the impending fight later, but he was concerned about you. you never drank, not unless there was something wrong.

iida easily hoisted you up over his shoulder, discarding the various wine bottles and taking you to your shared room, although he wasn't sure if it was still considered shared anymore.

he laid you on the bed softly, changing you into one of his old shirts. his fingers ghosted over your cheek as he watched you sleep, the reality of where he was sitting heavy on his heart.

he loved you and yet there was nothing he could do to help at this moment. he had to leave for night patrol. he had to leave you.

his gentle touches roused you from your sleep and your eyes felt heavy as you tried to blink them open.

“you came?” you breathed, voice sounding foreign even to yourself.

iida gave you a small smile, “im sorry.”

your demeanor did a 180 at his apology. he was sorry. he was always sorry. but sorry couldn’t fix this. not when it had been so broken.

you winced and sat up, “sorry for what? sorry that you broke your promise for the thousandth time or sorry that you’ve been such a shit husband for the past few months?!”

“______-”

“no tenya. you do this every single time! every time i want to spend time with you theres always something more important! what could be more important than your wife?!”

“______ you know my father-”

you laughed bitterly at the mention of his dad. he always had to be such a good little iida child, always on daddy’s beck and call. it made you sick.

“your father doesn’t even want us to be together! cant you see that he’s doing this on purpose! youre a grown man! not a child permanently tied to his mommy and daddy!” you spat

“hes giving more responsibility for the sake of the agency! for the ingenium legacy! why are you always so selfish when it comes to these things?”

“selfish? selfish?” you asked, incredulous. you couldn’t believe your ears.

“yes selfish. do you know how much i sacrificed to be with you? how much i already have on my plate on top of trying my best to make time for you?”

you stared in astonishment.

sacrifice?

what had he sacrificed for this relationship? he got to do what he wanted, come and go as he pleased with virtually no regard for how you felt or what you did. what sacrifice was there in that way of living?

“fuck you, tenya.”

tenya took a deep breath and ran his hand down his face. he chose his words carefully before finally saying, “i cant do this. im leaving.”

you could hear a pin drop in the room. you felt your blood pound in your ears as you stood up quickly, dizzy from the alcohol but still trying to process the words you had just heard.

leaving?

“youre leaving?”

“yes, i have to go. im not doing this with you, not now.”

your heart felt like it had been smashed by a sledgehammer, as you tried to regulate your breathing. leaving. he was leaving.

“w-wait,” you feebly attempted to cling onto him as he gathered a few of his things.

“tenya you cant leave me.”

“_____ i do not want to do this right now,” he sighed, easily shaking you off and moving to collect more things. his words were buzzing around on the inside of your skull. he was leaving.

leaving without so much of a second thought. he had been planning this. still unsteady on your feet you hobbled after him as quickly as possible, desperation taking over every fiber of your body. you didn't want to lose him, you just wanted your husband back, you happiness back.

“y-you cant do that! you cant leave me! i dont know how to survive without you, tenya, please-”

“_____, just go to bed. you’re drunk.”

you trailed him around the house,“no, you don’t get to decide when this is over. i'm the one whos been hurting for months you cannot just leave me by myself.”

iida spared you one last glance before grabbing his bag, “goodbye, _____”

crushed, you sank to your knees, leaning on the couch for support. you felt like you were dying., hell, you probably were dying. you had never had so much to drink in your life, and you were desperate to make the pounding pain in your chest stop.

you cried yourself to sleep that night, waking up to the sunlight coming through the window with a splitting headache. you felt like your skull was trying to crack itself open from the inside but you shakily got to your feet, remembering bits and pieces from your fight with iida.

you could tell he didn't come home last night; everything was exactly the way you had left it last night. the house alarm was still on, and his shoes were gone.

he actually left.

anger bubbled in your chest as you thought about what had actually happened. you would not let him get the last laugh, or be the last one left, the one waiting on him patiently to pick up the pieces after trying to keep it together. you would leave too, as much as it hurt, and show him just how selfish you could be.

in a flash, you haphazardly packed a bag with essentials and had texted your friends that you needed a place to stay for a few days. you didn’t get into specifics- your heart ached too much to relive the events of the previous night- but you told them you had reached your limit and you needed to take some time to cool off.

alternatively, iida did not sleep that night. after finishing patrols, he stayed at his brother’s apartment out of pure convenience, not feeling prepared to face you after everything that had transpired between the two of you.

the dark-haired man laid staring at the ceiling of tensei’s guest bedroom, wracking his brain and trying to pinpoint how things had gone south so fast. he wanted to fix things, but really didn’t know how. he couldn’t even tell you what was broken, let alone how to begin to fix them.

his brother had tried to give him advice after listening to the entire story, but there was only so much he could do. he knew that you were right, their father was keeping him from you on purpose, slowly making tenya think that he was in the right in an attempt to break you up, but he couldn't be the one to tell him.

tenya had to come to that conclusion himself. he needed to be the one to set boundaries and save your relationship, but from the looks of it, soon any attempts would be futile.

“_____? darling?” iida called as he came into your home. immediately noticing your missing shoes, he moved to the bedroom in a flash, checking to see if you had just moved them or something.

the room was a mess, drawers left open and clothing strewn across the bed and floor. the bathroom had been cleared of almost all your essentials, and a note was left on the dresser. gingerly, iida picked it up and read it, offering up a silent prayer that it didn't say what he thought it did.

i don't know when you'll see this, or if you ever will. if you're reading it, that means you came back home but you will not find me there.

im tired, tenya.

im tired of always being the one to extend the olive branch or bend over backwards for you.

i refuse to be in that position any longer. i love you… i love you so much it hurts sometimes because i know this isn't the way things were supposed to be. but you left, and so i decided to leave too.

if a way to fix things exists, i want us to find it, but right now i need some time to reevaluate us and what that means. i hope you understand, i know you will.

if you want to reach out, im open to talking about this further, but for right now i need to think.

goodbye.

--------

[bleufrost]

Guiding Light

Summary: Even though your team finally trusts Loki enough to give him a chance, you still have to help him realize he's not the monster he sometimes thinks he is.

a/n: this is within the same universe as There's Just Time but it can also be read as a standalone (: more notes at the end for anyone who wants to read them!

Words: 1,921

Warnings: angst, self doubt, theres also fluff so dont worry!

If we come back and we're broken Unworthy and ashamed Give us something to believe in And you know we'll go your way

You never really realize how loud everything is until Loki cuts you off from his energy. Now, that isn't to say that Loki leads a tranquil existence, it's actually quite the opposite. Loki's emotions are incredibly sporadic and loud; so loud in fact, that they have become nearly identical in nature to the crashing of waves against the shore. Deafening, yet with the promise of calm once you come to recognize it as home. Without the roar, everything you’d rather drown out comes back to the forefront of your mind. That is exactly what is happening right now.

Tony’s bubbling anxiety to get his hands on something new clashes with the forced control of Bruce’s psyche as you enter the lab. The opposing energies nearly incapacitate you. “Hey, have you guys seen Loki?” You sit next to Bruce, your focus on his hands as he moves some things around on a screen. It��s a lame attempt to center yourself, but it helps a bit when a drill sparks to life in Tony’s hands. Bruce smiles at you apologetically and you shake your head.

“What’s that, kiddo?” Tony’s voice barely registers over the monotonous sound of the drill and you try to signal for him to turn it off, but the attempt is in vain. Instead of continuing to scream, you wait it out until Tony finally seems to be finishing up. The drill powers down and he smiles at you in that way that only he can; as though he truly believes that the world can wait for him. You can’t exactly blame him, you did wait, didn’t you?

“Okay, what’s up?” He places the drill down and brushes his hands off on his pants.

“I was just wondering if you’ve seen Loki around?” He looks to Bruce and they both seem to mutually agree that they haven’t. Tony shrugs at you.

“Sorry, kid. No Reindeer Games around here.” You roll your eyes at the nickname and he lets out a loud laugh. “Okay, thanks.” Getting up, you exit the lab and head for the common room.

It takes a few more tries, and by the time someone finally tells you they spotted him, your head is racing. There are so many different emotions and waves of energy in so limited a space, it exhausts you. Often you found navigating it all to be a fun game, but that was only when you had an anchor. Unfortunately, your anchor seems to be a little lost at sea.

When you do find Loki, he’s staring out a large window on one of the top floors of the compound. There’s a book abandoned in his lap, his finger resting on the page as though he had drifted mid sentence. The bright sky reflects on his eyes in a beautiful show of light. Anchors and waves, you knew Loki was all of it to you.

“Hey.” It comes out as only a whisper as you approach him slowly. It’s so soft, you almost doubt he hears it at all. Of course, he does though. He’s a god and, with great pain, you also know that he’s very used to being on his guard.

Loki’s eyes move from the clouds above and over to you. You’re not sure if the lights are playing tricks on you, but you swear that there are small hints of unshed tears in his crystal eyes.

“Hello.” If you thought your voice was soft, Loki’s is hardly there at all. It shakes ever so slightly at the end of the word, and if his shielding emotions wasn’t a dead giveaway, his demeanor most definitely is. Something’s wrong.

Your feet take slow, tentative steps forward. Neither one of you breaks eye contact, and when you attempt to push your energy over to him as some form of comfort, it hits a wall. He’s using his own magic to deliberately block yours from reaching him. Your feet stop moving and you can see in the way that his eyes glint that he’s aware of how distanced he is keeping you.

“Loki, what’s hurting you?” It’s a simple question, but that’s all it takes. After over a thousand years spent dancing around problems and masking insecurities, your willingness to openly address such intimate pains was still so novel to him.

The first few times he had spoken to you, really spoken to you, all illusions set aside and with no intent to trick you, he had been struck hard by your lack of judgement. All Loki ever knew was how to hide the most vulnerable parts of himself because others would use them against him. WIth you though, the vulnerability was exclusively used as a bridge to growth. You had told him once that energy flowed toward energy. It was made to grow. Naturally, because he was composed of all different kinds of untamable energy, it was only inevitable that he would continue to evolve into a stronger version of himself if he chose to recognize the points that were draining him.

Energy moves toward energy, and so he allowed his to move to you.

“I don’t feel I belong here. I’m not worthy of forgiveness.” The confession twists your heart into a knot. It hurts to hear the insecurity lacing his voice, but the emotions that seep into you hurt even more. With his wall down, you can feel the nervousness, fear, anxiety, and overall sense of loathing that Loki has been carrying by himself. You understand why he blocked himself from you, but you’re so incredibly relieved to be sharing his burden.

It takes a second for you to acclimate to the new feeling, but your feet take you the rest of the way to him as soon as you do. You’d never run from him, no matter how intense it may be to stay.

“No, no. Even just your ability to share that with me proves that you’re more than worthy, Loki.” The unshed tears come to the surface, slipping past his eyes and running slowly down his cheek. Your hand instinctively comes up to rest against his face.

“There’s not one of us here who hasn’t done things that we regret. Things that have hurt people and that we wish we could take back, but we can’t.”

More tears fall from his eyes and he looks at you so lost and frightened that you fear your heart may break.

“How do you live with it?” His eyes search yours for answers, and you wish you could tell him something that could help right now. Unfortunately, all experience you have with this calls for an agonizing amount of time to pass before even a hint of relief begins to seep in. There’s so much to do before forgiveness can come; not from others, but from yourself. It does come, though.

An idea sparks to life then, as you recall everything you’d done to make amends for the lives you had damaged, Forgiveness, understanding, healing. You knew these feelings and, luckily, that was all you needed.

Your other hand raises slowly, a soft blue light wrapping around the edges of each finger as it hugs around your skin. You hold your hand out to Loki, knowing that he needs to be the one to initiate this. You can offer yourself, but he has to choose to accept.

His large hand comes up, nearly meeting yours before he stops mere centimeters away. He can feel a slight wave of the emotions that you hold in your hand, but that same fear of being unworthy holds him back. Does he even deserve this kindness that you show him? You know he deserves that and so much more, but the doubt still makes him struggle.

The back and forth pull is not lost on you. Your thumb strokes the sharp curve of his cheekbone, finding your own comfort in providing it to him. His eyes close at the motion, and when he opens them again, the fear is gone.

Loki slips his hand into yours, finding the empty spaces between your fingers to be a perfect fit for him. He clings to you like a lifeline, and you very well may be one to him. You know he is for you.

Your light engulfs him, flowing up his arm and straight into his chest, his mind, his heart. Anywhere he needs it, your light will find him and help him feel okay. Every memory you had, every emotion, and every tear was placed into that light. Relief. Forgiveness. For Loki, it was hope.

“You do whatever you can to make up for it. You can’t fix everything, but sometimes just trying is enough.” Loki takes in your words and continues to let your energy hug him like a warm blanket. Trying. He could do that.

When he’s ready, he lets your magic go. Immediately, some of the doubt returns, but it’s nothing he can’t handle. Not when you’re here.

“Thank you.” The air around you seems to spark to life and you find your energy starts to pull toward Loki. It was odd; unlike anything you’d felt before.

Of course, there were certain people that naturally caused your powers to want to be near them. Their energies were calming enough or provided with just the right amount of curiosity that stoked the childlike wonder in yourself. You always knew exactly why you were being drawn to them. This time, with Loki, it was different. You couldn’t pinpoint the exact emotion of yearning that drew you to him. All you knew was that you felt connected.

Deciding that this moment held enough excitement for the two of you, you left it alone. Maybe you could ask about it some other time when things were a bit calmer. Right now, you just wanted Loki to relax. There were many things about your abilities that you were still yet to explore. This was probably nothing.

Loki’s hand guided you out of your thoughts and back to him. He brought you closer and smiled. “Sit with me?”

You immediately reciprocated his smile. Loki may think that his well crafted charm is the most endearing thing about him. You know that’s not true. By far the most compelling and radiant thing about Loki was the unfiltered appreciation he had for the smallest things in life. Sitting beneath a blue sky sounded like heaven when he offered it up with such a gorgeous smile.

“Of course.” You let go of his hand to lift yourself onto the cushioned bench he was sitting on. It’s long enough to provide you with enough room to place distance between yourself and Loki, but you don’t. When you’re settled, Loki finds your hand once more. He squeezes it gently and lifts the book with his other.

“Would you like me to read to you?” He raises the book a little higher so you can see the cover, but quite honestly you don’t care what he’s reading. You just like to hear his voice. You nod happily. “Yes, please.”

Loki offers you one more genuine grin and sets to work, reading the words on the page like a poet sharing their most prized work. You can feel him, deafening the world around you until you’re lulled back into a calm that only his noise can guide you to.

As he reads, your connected hands glow with an energy that neither of you intentionally brings forth; it just happens. Even without trying, some things just do.

a/n: I realized that I was making little references to moments/memories in the main story that I really wanted to write, so thats what these mini pieces will be! on that note, the second chapter should be up by saturday at the latest. i had some computer problems which sucks lol, but its getting done! after that, i'll be trying to get the new chapters up before the premiere of the next loki episode. have a lovely day yall!

[thinking1bee]

When it Reigns Part 5

Requested by Anonymous

Pairings: Kara Danvers x Reader

Tags: Angst, Kryptonian!Reader, Parent!Reader, Parent!Kara, Estranged Parent, Graphic Depictions of Injuries, Blood, Humor, Bad Dreams, Memory Loss

Everything Taglist: @sammy90682 @nobody13 @owloftheshadows @captain-josslett @camslightstories @worldovart @finleyfray @acertainredhead @sammm9068 @reginassecretlover

It took some more investigative journalism, but you and Kara found out that it was Edge who was behind poisoning the kids. He orchestrated the plan to have chemicals dumped into the pool, and then to frame Lena further by dumping the same chemicals into National City’s water supply. Luckily with some saving from Supergirl, Edge was thrown behind bars and a cure was made for the families afflicted. You sighed for a day well done and you were in the process of saying good night to Angel.

“Will Luke be okay?” she asked you and you smiled.

“Yes. He should be getting better as we speak.”

You leaned down and kissed her forehead when Angel froze.

“Hey what’s wrong?”

She blinked. “You have a hole in your shirt.”

You looked down to see what she was talking about. Sure enough, there was a tear in the fabric of your blouse, and you held it in confusion, wondering how it got there.

“Oh, weird,” you said, shrugging it off. “Sweet dreams, okay?”

Angel nodded before she closed her eyes and you left quietly, smiling fondly as your daughter drifted off to sleep. As you walked down the hall, you felt at the tear in your shirt, and as you kept playing with it, something cold and metallic fell from the torn threads and landed on the floor with a sharp clang. You paused, bending over to pick up the object, and when you inspected it, you saw that it was a bullet.

You were…shot.

And you didn’t feel it.

Your hands went to your stomach, feeling around for anything unusual. You even lifted your shirt to see if there was anything wrong. There was nothing. Just the expanse of smooth and unharmed flesh. You swallowed hard as you looked up, seeing nothing but the emptiness of the hallway in front of you. You couldn’t ignore any of this anymore. You needed answers, so you went into your room and packed a small travel bag. You’d be gone for a day tops and hopefully, you would find what you needed. As you packed, you dialed for Kara, and she answered in the first ring.

“Y/n is everything okay?” she asked, and you smiled. Your darling wife, ever the worrier.

“I’m fine babe,” you replied with the smile playing at your lips. “I was wondering if you would be okay with watching Angel. I need to take a trip.”

You could practically hear Kara fix her glasses while shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “Is everything okay?” she asked again.

“I think so. I just need to pay a visit to my mother.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

The question was justified. The relationship between you and your adopted parental figure was less than stable. You’d soon go to hell voluntarily before stepping foot in her house again, but this was important. Something was going on with you and you needed answers. You had to start somewhere.

“I’ll be fine, I promise.”

Kara accepted your promise, trusting that you would be fine like you said. “Okay, just come back soon.”

You smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” you replied, and you disconnected the call.

***

Kara nibbled her lips, staring at the screen when you disconnected the call. She couldn’t help but think that something wears wrong and that you wanted her to think that everything was okay. Whatever it was, she knew that she would have to wrap this up soon. Angel was already home, and judging by the clock on Kara’s phone, was also in bed.

“…Kara?”

Kara looked up to see everyone in the DEO staring at her and she hastily put her phone back in her pocket.

“Sorry.”

“Is everything okay?” Alex asked and Kara shrugged. That was all she could do.

She was so worried about you. Ever since Angel told her about your selective memory loss, she had been so preoccupied with you that it was evoking distracting. She knew she should have followed up with that. She trusted you, as she did, but something was telling her to dive deeper into it and she ignored it. What could be going on that you felt the need to reach out to a woman that you had spoken to in years? Was everything that bad? And what about when Angel got hurt. Angel told her that it was a city light pole that fell on top of her, but she had been less than forthcoming with the details as to how she got free from under it. Things weren’t making any sense.

“Kara?”

Kara blinked and focused on everyone again. Alex had asked her a question and she went on a mental spiral.

“I’m fine,” she said quickly, but everyone looked at each other with skepticism. If Kara was truly okay, she wasn’t very convincing about it.

“Are you sure?” Alex asked, mirroring Kara’s early question to you. She nodded.

“Yes. Let’s focus on what caused the earthquake.”

Alex gave her once last look, her eyes searching. Kara nodded, her eyes focused on hers, knowing that she would know what it meant. We’ll talk later. Alex nodded before turning her attention back to the giant screens in front of her.

“Go ahead, Winn.”

Winn typed on his tablet before he dragged his finger across the screen, his wrist flicking, before what was on his tablet appeared on screens for everyone to see. On them was a map, with a single dot highlighted on a specific location. From the dot came virtual shockwaves that pulsed from the single location and spread outwards.

“I was able to pinpoint the exact location of the earthquake,” he explained. “But theres nothing out there.”

Beside him, J’onn nodded and crossed his arms. “I flew from the center and covered the entire area of coverage. There’s nothing there except cracked earth and debris.”

“So, if there’s nothing there, where did the earthquake come from?” Kara asked.

“That’s the mystery,” Winn said as he turned his attention back to the pulsating dot on the screen. Kara watched as the shockwaves emanated from the point over and over, the feeling of foreboding sending a chill down her spine.

***

You pulled up to your mother’s house and put the car in park. She still lived all the way out in Metropolis and was still in the same house and everything. It was like nothing changed. Well almost nothing. She may have stayed the same, but you changed entirely. No matter what happened, you promised to keep your cool. There was a reason why you never so much as sent her a Christmas card. So, you took a deep breath and squared your shoulders, before getting out of the car and knocking on the door. It took a bit of knocking but she finally answered, and she looked at you like she had seen a ghost.

“Y/n?”

“Hello, Elizabeth,” you greeted. “May I come in?”

After some small talk and a glass of water that you still hadn’t drank from, it was finally time to address the elephant in the room. Though if it were up to you, the elephant wouldn’t need to be pointed out anyway. Just acknowledge it and move on.

“I haven’t seen you since…” Elizabeth swallowed thickly, a nervous chuckle escaping her. “Well, you know.

“I couldn’t imagine why you’d expect me to keep in touch after you kicked me out.”

“I did that to teach you a lesson!”

She still believed that? Even after all these years?

“That’s odd because that wasn’t what it felt like.”

She looked away from you, her eyebrows furrowed in hurt, and you had to resist the urge to scoff. Her little act wasn’t going to work on you. You decided that you had enough with strolling down memory lane.

“Do you know where I can find my birth parents?” you asked. At that, her head snapped up and she met your eyes.

“Why?”

“That doesn’t matter. Do you know or not?”

She didn’t answer, she only stared at you, and you could feel your irritation grow. You never asked her of anything, not since she kicked you out, and now that you were asking about your real parents, after all these years, now she wanted to give you a hard time???

“I’m sorry,” was all she said. You smirked and she looked at you.

“You have got to be kidding me. Then at least tell me which adoption agency you adopted me from.”

Elizabeth shook her head, and you actually snapped your fingers, pointing at her as your irritation morphed into rage.

“I’ve never asked you for anything once you threw me out, and this is how you want to play this?!”

“That was to teach you a lesson,” she repeated, like the explanation would make everything okay.

“That what?” you demanded. “That it was never okay for me to like who I liked?”

“You know that I didn’t approve of your homosexual escapades.”

“Oh yeah, and then I dated a guy to make you happy. Good thing for me that he knocked me up and left the moment he found out I was pregnant. I was 19! I needed someone there for me! I needed my mom!”

“Y-you were pregnant?” she whispered, horrified that she hadn’t known until now.

“Yes! And you would have known that if you had just listened to me!”

Elizabeth had thrown you to the side after finding out that you had sex with him. She wanted a good Christian daughter, one that followed every rule in the Bible. That wasn’t you, and no matter how much she tried to force you to learn, or how much she forced you to go to church, it would never be you. Even now. You were happily married and trying your damnedest with your daughter. The relationship with her sperm donor may have been a huge mistake, but Angel never will be that. She was so much more. She was the reason you never gave up, and the woman that was in front of you, was the reason why you never learned to be a good mom. You spent your whole life being what she wanted for her sake.

“Did you keep it?” Elizabeth whispered.

“Her name is Angel,” you said sternly, and you had the satisfaction of watching her flinch. “And I guess by technicality you do have a granddaughter.”

“How is she?”

You stared at her, really stared at her, incredulous that she thought that she had the right to ask about Angel.

“If you think that I would let you, with your religious, Bible thumping poison and rhetoric around her, then I must be on crack.”

Elizabeth sighed. “I’m sorry.”

It was way too late for sorry. That wouldn’t work on you either.

“Do you know anything about my birth parents or the adoption agency that you got me from?” you asked again.

“Why do you want to know so bad?”

You had to stop yourself from screaming in from frustration. Instead, you took a deep breath and looked down.

“Things have been happening to me, Elizabeth,” you started as you looked at her intensely. I keep blacking out to do only God knows what and then I have no recollection of going anywhere or saying anything. Earlier this week, a pole fell on my daughter, and I lifted it clear above my head and threw it away as though it weighed nothing. Yesterday I was at a press conference when someone open fired into the crowd. I was shot, Elizabeth, and I didn’t feel anything. I pulled the crushed bullet from my clothes but there were no marks, no cuts, no anything. The past few weeks have been weird, and I swallowed the anger I have with you to ask you for your help. Now if you know anything, now would be the time to tell me.”

Elizabeth looked at you and was quiet. It seemed like she wasn’t going to say anything until she nodded her head, deciding something internally, before she looked at you.

“Follow me. I want to show you something.”

Part 6

[stuffingisforfools]

So I can’t stop thinking about Bobby killing his own father at like 12 and burying his body in the back yard and the implications of him chasing off John with a gun when Sam and dean were young cause spn never followed up of that because why would they.

But anyways I was thinking about that and about young dean who would do anything to protect Sam and refuses to say a word against a father who most definitely hits him and what would happen if we made John just a little bit more unstable. Sam just a little weirder. But leave dean the same.

What happens when Sam’s psychic powers start themselves earlier. Say he’s 8 years old and sometimes when John is out for a couple weeks and he gets angry or hungry or just frustrated and dean can’t calm him down the lights start to flicker and the shelves start to rattle. Or how sometimes he’ll wake dean screaming babbling about things he shouldn’t know about yet. And it scares dean ofc it scares him. He’s only 12 but he already knows he can’t tell John, knows he wouldn’t take it well and he can’t pinpoint why but he’s so so afraid of what would happen if he finds out, he tries to tell himself that John loves Sammy, that he wouldn’t hurt him, but he doesn’t quit believe it, can’t quite convince himself of a lie that big.

Anyways let’s say that’s been going on for a year or two at this point. And dean has been doing his best to keep it from John. There’s been a couple of close calls but they’re still in the clear. Maybe John is getting a little suspicious maybe not but then dean fucks up and John leaves him at sonnys (Listen I know the wiki says dean was 16 at this point but Sam was definitely not 12 in that flashback and the script says Sam is 9 so I’m going with that) and all of the sudden Sam is alone with John for the longest time since he was little little, since before he started coming into his powers. Let’s be real here John has no idea what to do with Sam on his own for 2 months, he fucks up and Sam is a stubborn shit and they’re so similar that Sam gets angry and shit happens. Maybe the lights flicker or maybe johns glass of whiskey gets knocked over, just enough for John to snap out of his rage, just enough for John to get suspicious but not too big that he can’t brush it off as something he imagined. But still the door has been opened.

Fast forward a couple months, dean is back from sonny’s and things are still tense and dean is so so afraid of being sent away again, of leaving Sam with John, when John comes back from a hunt shaken, dean can instantly tell that something wrong, he won’t stop glancing at Sam when he thinks dean isn’t looking, there’s something in his gaze that dean doesn’t like. Deans on edge for a couple days but John never says anything, even if he does act a little shifty, but the day Mary died is coming up so dean jsut brushes it off as grief, tells himself they just have to make it through the next week and then things will be fine.

But things aren’t fine.

John had finally managed to pin down a demon long enough to get some answers. The demon tells him that Sam is corrupted, that Mary made a deal for access to Sam and that Sam is theirs, destined for greatness he can’t even imagine, that this is the reason that Mary is dead. And John tries to deny it, tries to tell himself its nonsense, that the demon is lying to try and get in his head, but then he remembers what happened when dean was gone, and all these little incidents over the past two years that he’s been brushing off start clicking together, and he knows the demon is telling the truth.

The demon escapes and John goes back to the motel they’re staying in. He can’t stop looking at Sam, trying to see the evil that’s coursing through his veins. Sam is the reason Mary is dead. The thought keeps building and building in his head, he can’t stop thinking about it. And then all of the sudden it’s the day Mary died and things come to a head.

The day starts as it always does it’s not even noon and John is already at the bar, drinking and thinking about Sam and the demon and his beautiful Mary burning to death over his head. Dean is sitting with Sam back at the motel trying to keep him entertained, on high alert making sure to listen for when John gets back because dean knows there’s a couple different ways this day could go and he has to be ready. Last year was a bad one but maybe this year will be different.

It’s midnight by the time John staggers back from the bar, sams all tucked in bed asleep but dean is still up keeping vigil, a gun on the bed next to him. Dean doesn’t know what it is exactly, maybe it’s the way John turns the key or the cadence of his footsteps but dean knows that it’s going to be a bad one again, that John is angry angry angry and he’s going to have to do his best to calm him down before he wakes Sammy. Kid can sleep through almost anything so if dean can get John asleep and calmed down fast enough he’ll never have to know. Dean doesn’t want Sammy to ever have to see John like this.

Except when John falls through the door there’s something different about him, something that wasn’t there last year or the year before that. Dean quietly tucks his gun under the pillow next to him and goes to help his dad to a chair. Dean manages to get John situated and goes to get him a glass of water, but John hasn’t even glanced at him, won’t stop glaring at where Sammy is hidden under the blankets.

and then quicker than dean can react, way faster than a man as drunk as john should be able to move, he’s up and marching towards sam. Dean doesn’t know what going on but dean knows that whatevers about to happen isn’t good, so he does what he always does, and puts himself between john and sam. John staggers to a stop, and roughly motions for dean to get out of the way, but he doesn’t move. And if john was angry before it has nothing on how he is now, he is RAGING. He starts yelling, telling dean to get the fuck out of the way, to let him at the little beast that stole his mary away from him. And dean is in shock, asking john what hes talking about, desperately trying to calm him down, your drunk dad, please please, what are you talking about, lets sit down and talk about this. But john won’t be calmed, you think i didn’t know?? you think anything happens in this family i don’t know about?? and dean is like what dad what are you talking about, he’s trying so hard not to cry rn, and john is like, i know what sam’s done, i know what he can do, and i have to stop him before he hurts anyone else, and then all of the sudden john is puling out a knife and hes shoving dean to the floor, saying im sorry dean but it has to be done, hes evil and someone has to pay for what happened to mary. 

and then theres a loud bang, and john falls to the ground, bleeding out from a gut shot. and dean is looking down in shock at the gun in his hands, he’s shaking. He doesn’t remember reaching for the gun, doesn’t remember pulling the trigger. but john is wheezing and bleeding out on the floor so it must have been him. 

Everything’s a little fuzzy and hes not sure if this is really happening but then sam is crying and dean is on autopilot. He gathers him up in his arms (dean can barely carry him at this point hes getting so big) presses sams face into his neck so he can’t see where john is lying on the floor and walks him out of the room to the impala. The motel is shittier than usual and there was a silencer on the gun so dean is pretty sure no one is going to come looking anytime soon, dean is an expert at knowing what places won’t ask questions, but he knows they cant stay there. Dean shushes sam, tells him to stay put and walks back to the room. 

In the interim john has managed to pull himself upright into a seated position, pressed up against the wall with a hand against where he’s bleeding out. Despite everything john is still angry, he can’t yell but dean flinches anyways when john starts cussing him out, telling dean that he expected more of him, that he didn’t raise him like this, that they need to get revenge for mary and that sam isn’t human, is something that needs to be put down. And dean makes a choice. 

The gun is sitting on the bedspread where he dropped it when he grabbed sam. He may have reacted on instinct when he first shot john, did it without even thinking. But this is different. John has been telling dean his entire life that he has to protect sam, that nothing is more important. And so dean does what he needs to do. And shoots john point blank in the head. 

Everything is a blur after that, when he think back to it he can’t quite pinpoint how he got from the room to the impala to out on the road but hes a good little soldier so he knows what to do even when running on autopilot. He strips the room, gathers up all their things and cleans up as much evidence of who they are as he can. Does his best to keep from looking at where john is slumped against the wall. 

Dean doesn’t remember the walk back out to the car, doesn’t remember telling sammy to be quiet or even making the choice to drive. The next thing he knows he’s is pulling up in front of bobby’s house, staggering to the door with a passed out sam in his arms. It isn’t until bobby opens the door and hands him sam that dean finally gives in to the exhaustion and the stress and the shock and passes out. 

[wordsandshawn]

The Platonic Series ~ Two Weeks Later 

A/n: this is super short and i wrote it pretty quickly yesterday. I thought about saving this and waiting until i had something 6k-7k written to post it as a longer piece, but honestly i just felt like posting this now, so here ya go. its about 1k. 

~

(2026) ~two weeks after frantic calls

You know that Ella absolutely adores Shawn. There’s not even a shadow of a doubt about that, however, what you’re not so sure about is how she would feel about you and Shawn together. For as long as Ella can remember, you and Shawn have been best friends, co-parents in a way, but never romantically linked. 

The last even remotely romantic thing you did with Shawn was that kiss you shared when you were fifteen and even that kiss felt platonic. 

If you’re being honest with yourself, you’ve felt this way for a long time, but you didn’t want to admit it, not to yourself, and certainly not to Shawn. The truth is,  it was nearly impossible for you not to fall for him. From watching him calm Ella down in the middle of the night when she was a newborn to noticing the way he always made sure he had a carseat in his car just in case she needed to be picked up from somewhere, his love for Ella made you love him. Even though you’ve always known this, you really convinced yourself that’s all it was. Shawn, as your best friend, loved Ella, and you loved him for it. 

The truth is, you loved Shawn before Ella was even born, and you’ll love him long after she grows up and moves out. You’ll never not love Shawn Mendes. 

But falling in love with him could possibly ruin everything you’ve come to love about your friendship with him and that terrifies you to your very core. That’s what has stopped you from even entertaining the idea before this. 

Shawn has been basically living with you and Ella for the past two weeks. Katie came home last week, and Shawn and Katie broke up. Even though Shawn’s resolve to break up with her had only further solidified between the time he spoke to you about it and when Katie arrived back home from Tennessee, you were still a little shocked that afternoon when he returned to your apartment, announcing it was over. 

Shawn told Katie she could stay at his place until she found her own place to rent, which also meant Shawn moved in with you and Ella during the interim, although he never really left after Ella’s accident. It just became more official once he told Katie she could stay at his place. Shawn mostly camps out on the couch, except for the time he fell asleep on the little beanbag by Ella’s bed when he was supposed to be reading her a bedtime story, or the times he fell asleep in your bed after a late night horror movie after Ella went to bed.

During these last two weeks, you’ve fallen into a surprisngly easy routine with Shawn. You take Ella to school every morning, and Shawn has been picking her up after school, so she doesn’t have to stay at the afterschool care she normally does. He’ll usually either make her a snack or buy her one on the way home and then he’ll help her with her homework. You’ve been taking turns with cooking dinner, although Shawn normally lets Ella pick a restaurant and he’ll order out when it’s his turn. 

It’s been nice having Shawn around. He’s been keeping an eye on Ella, and helping you watch her because you’ve been extra paranoid since the accident, wanting to know that she’s okay and theres nothing wrong that you might be missing. Another perk is that you don’t have to listen to Ella complain about wanting to go over to Shawn’s now that he’s always at your place. And you’re not drinking wine alone after Ella goes to bed because Shawn’s there. 

“So what?” You question after one too many glasses of wine on a thursday night. “Are you gonna get a new girlfriend?”

He chuckles, signaling he heard you, but he doesn’t tear his gaze away from the tv to even entertain your question. However, you persist, the liquid courage causing you to press into your best friends dating life, not that it’s abnormal for you to do so, but it feels different this time. For a reason you can’t quite pinpoint, everything feels different this time. “Seriously, are you going to start dating someone new now?” You ask. 

Shawn turns slightly, angling his body so he’s facing you, studying you for a second before responding, “No. Why?” 

You shrug, “I just need a warning, that’s all.”

“A warning? What kind of warning?”

“A warning before you introduce my daughter to a random girl.” You respond, backtracking. That was not the reason you were originally questioning, but the feel in the room turned serious for a moment, and it caused you to rethink your reasoning. 

Shawn raises an eyebrow at you. “When have I ever introduced Ella to a random girl I was dating?” He questions. 

Again, you just shrug becaue he’s right. He and Katie dated for at least a few months before he introduced her to Ella. Just like how you were cautious about any guys you brought around, making sure it was serious before you introduced them to Ella, Shawn did the same. 

“Well, just in case.” You say, making a conscious effort to move your eyes away from Shawn’s questioning gaze and staring at the tv instead. 

“Y/n.” Shawn lets your name hang in the air between you two. When you provide no response, he repeats himself, “Y/n.” Then he pokes your shoulder. “Hey, are you feeling okay?” 

This time you answer, “Yeah. I’m fine. Just had a little too much wine.” 

He smiles now, at the sight of tipsy you. “Okay, well, I will definitely warn you before bringing any--” He holds up his fingers mockingly in the air doing air quotes, “Random girls -- home.” 

“Wait, you mean home here? Because you don’t even have a bedroom so you’re not hooking up with anyone here.” You respond forcefully. 

Shawn, knowing you’re not entirely thinking straight, just responds, “I won’t bring anyone home here.”

“Okay good.” You say, leaning over to rest your head against his shoulder as you turn your attention back to the tv, unable to stop the flutter you feel in your stomach focusing on the fact that Shawn called this home, even though you were the one who called it home first. 

Shawn shifts you a bit, moving his arm around your shoulder, so you’re resting more against his chest, “Good.” He says, as you cuddle a little closer to him. 

[berri-hopefulspouse]

"Soren, would you like to go first?" Ren never really expected themselves to be before an officiant- let alone for this reason...But, for some reason, they weren't afraid. Not exactly, not in the way they thought they would be. Nodding, they look back to Makoto- after keeping in yet another internal little squeak- and give a soft sigh and a little smile...They were ready for this.

"When we first met...and I mean, truly, deeply first met... I felt almost drawn to you. You said it yourself; we had always had some kind of connection, one that goes beyond time, space...probably even ourselves as we are currently. I always felt drawn to you then, to be close to you- but I could never exactly pinpoint what it was...yet, here we are now. Years later, and we're both still here. Both still...okay. I'll be the first one to say it- shit isn't perfect-" That gets a bit of a chuckle from themselves, "-But we're here...and we're alive. And we have the groundwork for a new beginning."

With a little shaky, nervous sigh, they bite their lower lip and manage to maintain eye contact with Makoto, "...I know I can't always be there when you need me- and I know I can't promise things will be perfect. But I can promise- can vow to you- that I'll be doing my best, each and everyday. Doing my best to improve, to get better, to learn new things, and to love you. Each, and everyday. Always, and forever. You mean the world to me, and to whatever secrets that we may share in the future..." Theres a smirk, and already Makoto knows what's coming, "I'll never tell a single soul. That's a promise, and my vow to you...I'll always, always cherish you."

Despite their light joke, there were tears in their eyes, barely held together through their strict will alone. Makoto wasn't much better- in fact he had to let go of their hand once or twice to wipe at his own eyes, before letting out a soft laugh of surprise himself. Still, after looking to the officiant himself- and getting a small nod- he proceeded to speak himself.

"Ren, first of all, how dare you make me cry like that-" That got a laugh out of the two of them, as well as the small gathering of people who had decided to attend that day, "-Still, still...There's so many things I could say...So many things I want to say- and it wouldn't truly be enough. You're so many things- you've done so much for me and for those around you...and yet, you never stop pursuing to help everyone around you. Everyone except yourself." Despite himself, he rests a hand gently on their cheek to reassure them, to calm them down a bit.

"I thought I knew who I was- someone who didn't quite stick out in the crowd, who was just...well, average at everything I did. And I thought I was okay with that... But uh..." He chuckled nervously, "Turns out that's just self esteem issues, I suppose. You never stopped believing in me- back then and all the way up until now. No matter what we faced, you had full faith in me that it'd be alright. I've always had a more optimistic attitude...and you always struggled to maintain one, but you still were always there for me. You say you weren't- but I assure you, even if you couldn't physically help in some way...I knew you were there for me, in spirit."

He shakes his head a bit, "I guess this is a roundabout way of saying...I'm proud of you. You've taught me so much, and grown so much more than from when we first met. You stand tall- well, really short in your case-" A little joke that earned him a gentle subtle kick with their shoe- causing him to laugh, "-You stand tall in the face of everything you've been through. Each day you keep moving forward, despite what lingers over you...And for that reason alone, I'm so proud of you. You always tell me that I saved you, that I've done so much for you...and while I can't always believe that's true, I can promise you that I'll be there whenever I can. You deserve to have someone who can protect you, and well- if it's me...I guess I really can't argue with that. I love you, Soren...with everything I am. You're my hope, and my proof that my Ultimate Luck truly isn't just a throwaway Ultimate...It's proof that I really am lucky to have you in my life. I swear, I'll never leave you- if you'll allow me to stay in your life...and that I'll always do my best to protect you, and cherish what we have. Always. My love for you is no secret."

He was trying to keep his voice from shaking, truly he was- but while his tone held certainty, his nervousness was equally as palpable in his tone. It was also not much of a secret that, simply put- he had completely did that on the fly, rather than plan it out. All the same, it looked like his words got through to them- the tears they were trying to keep back having started to fall from their cheeks. Leaning into the palm of his hand that still rested on their cheek, they nuzzled into it for comfort before pulling back to let his hand free- a smile on their face the whole while. At least he knew he didn't royally screw that up.

Still, thereafter came the rings- the one thing Makoto knew for certain. Ren may have been the one to do most of the planning- Mostly in part due to Makoto knowing full and well they were better at all of this than he could ever really hope to be- but he was the one who picked what the wedding bands would be. He didn't let Ren see what they were, wanting to get their reaction above anything else. He did his own first, slipping the ring carefully onto their ring finger- trying to quell the slightly anxious tremble of his own hands. He couldn't help being nervous.

The ring itself was simple in nature, but it's meanings would show themselves to those two alone. Theirs particularly had an outer layer of silver- steel, particularly- with moonstone in the middle. Carved into it, were a few small things. A moon and some stars, a reminder of the promise ring they got the both of them and a light comparison to his own band. A small little heart, that had a little ruby heart gemstone in the middle, as it was their birthstone. Lastly, on the underside of the ring, was engraved a few simple words; 'You are my luck, and my hope.'

His was similar of course, rather instead a shade of gold rather than silver with sun and cloud engravings on his own, and an sapphire heart rather than a ruby one. On the underside of his, was something that he heard them say to him once or twice- something that stuck with him, something he observed as they, in turn, slipped the band onto his ring finger.

'You're the reason I believe in my empathy.'

He watched Ren's reaction, though, as their expression shifted from the soft counterance they had previously to curiosity. Then, to thought- likely tuning out the officiant in favor of observing the ring- and finally acknowledgement, gaze snapping back up to meet Makoto's as the tears that had started to slow down only picked right back up. He could faintly notice them mouth something along the lines of 'You fucking dork,' as the officiant had continued to speak, their facade of pride crumbling down with their tears.

The two had been so busy reveling in their own little world for a few moments, that neither had even noticed that the officiant had been asking a question. Makoto, naturally, snapped out of it first in time for him to recognize his name being said.

"S-sorry, what was that?" And, promptly, his question snapped Ren back out of their own stupor, blushing a bit in embarassment. Makoto wished he wasn't in the same flustered state. Thankfully it got a bit of chuckles out of everyone else, and the officiant repeated himself.

"Do you, Makoto Naegi, take Soren to be your spouse?"

"Oh!" Well, if he wasn't red before hand, he definitely was now, "I...I do." ...But he still wouldn't hesitate with his answer, not for a moment.

It got a bit of a giggle out of Ren. At least they were amused at how flustered he was- but he knew full well it was a double edged sword.

"Soren, do you take Makoto to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Despite watching their cheeks turn a bright red- called it- and noticing their breath bitch a bit, their resolve didn't falter in the slightest.

"I do, now and forever."

Makoto couldn't help but smile at that, the nervous expression he adorned softening into adoration. He could be nervous, sure, but right then and there? With that smile they had on? He could feel nothing but pure, unadulterated love. He didn't notice when the officiant was asking if anyone had any objections- he didn't notice when no one had said anything, or that everyone was staring intently at the two, all he could really notice was them.

He only snapped out of it once more when he heard the Officiant speak once more.

"Then it is my great honor to pronounce you as husband and spouse!" The officiant look to the two with a little grin, "You may now kiss, if so desired."

About halfway through that sentence however, impatient as they were- Ren had quickly grabbed Makoto to yank the brunette into their shorter embrace. Yelping a bit in surprise- it instead dissolved into a little laugh as Ren mumbled a short and cheeky, 'Hey', to Makoto- only before pressing a shy kiss to him. He didn't hesitate to reciprocate, a hand gently combing past the flower crown veil to instead thread his fingers through their hair. Only then did they relax a bit, pressing back with a bit more decor for a few moments before drawing away a bit.

"Hello to you, too, Mx. Naegi," Makoto lightly teased, despite being out of breath. Watching their face equally flush a bright red, but light up with delight, he ignored the small uproar of his friends and family- instead laughing to himself before being ambushed in another kiss from his now-spouse. Despite it all, they made it to this point...New Years Eve- now New Years day...Now, officially, married. To the two, it was clear as day...

What a great way to start a new year.