#but then i scrolled down and saw the meme

[nemo-in-wonderland]

I was just minding my own business, when I saw the old Witch Wife meme while scrolling down, and I just had a vision that I needed to bring to life.

Because Aranea, as a Fiend Warlock, fit it to a T.

And while the meme usually is used for pairings, I decided to go the familial route because that meme was SO Aranea messing around with Raphael and just torture him (or using as a sacrifice to invoke Mephisto, just for the sake of it). Like, I can see their relationship being very Wednesday Vs. Pugsley, tbh (while I have Gomez/Morticia for Mephisto and Aranea), and that gave me LIFE.

Well, I hope that you will like this <3

--Nemo

[mobydyke]

I lied I don't actually like sex. put your clothes back on I want to talk about how for thomas, the pardons were meant to create freedom, freedom from piracy, from fear of british reprisal, freedom to live openly, but for woodes-rogers, the pardons were meant to establish his absolute control over everyone in nassau, bending the knee and accepting forgiveness, apologizing! to england!

[5uptic]

when i tell you the whiplash i got

[ktempestbradford]

I have been on a Willy Wonkified journey today and I need y'all to come with me

It started so innocently. Scrolling Google News I come across this article on Ars Technica:

At first glance I thought what happened was parents saw AI-generated images of an event their kids were at and became concerned, then realized it was fake. The reality? Oh so much better.

On Saturday, event organizers shut down a Glasgow-based "Willy's Chocolate Experience" after customers complained that the unofficial Wonka-inspired event, which took place in a sparsely decorated venue, did not match the lush AI-generated images listed on its official website.... According to Sky News, police were called to the event, and "advice was given."

Thing is, the people who paid to go were obviously not expecting exactly this:

But I can see how they'd be a bit pissed upon arriving to this:

It gets worse.

"Tempest, how could it possibly--"

source of this video that also includes this charming description:

Made up a villain called The Unknown — 'an evil chocolate maker who lives in the walls'

There is already a meme.

Oh yes, the Wish.com Oompa Loompa:

Who has already done an interview!

As bad (and hilarious) as this all is, I got curious about the company that put on this event. Did they somehow overreach? Did the actors they hired back out at the last minute? (Or after they saw the script...) Oddly enough, it doesn't seem so!

Given what I found when poking around I'm legit surprised there was an event at all. Cuz this outfit seems to be 100% a scam.

The website for this specific event is here and it has many AI generated images on it, as stated. I don't think anyone who bought tickets looked very closely at these images, otherwise they might have been concerned about how much Catgacating their children would be exposed to.

Yes, Catgacating. You know, CATgacating!

I personally don't think anyone should serve exarserdray flavored lollipops in public spaces given how many people are allergic to it. And the sweet teats might not have been age appropriate.

Though the Twilight Tunnel looks pretty cool:

I'm not sure that Dim Tight Twdrding is safe. I've also been warned that Vivue Sounds are in that weird frequency range that makes you poop your pants upon hearing them.

Yes, Virginia, these folks used an AI image generator for everything on the website and used Chat GPT for some of the text! From the FAQ:

Q: I cannot go on the available days. Will you have more dates in the future? A: Should there be capacity when you arrive, then you will be able to enter without any problems. In the event that this is not the case, we may ask you to wait a bit.

Fear not, for this question is asked again a few lines down and the answer makes more sense.

Curious about the events company behind this disaster, I took myself over to the homepage of House of Illuminati and I was not disappointed.

I would 100% trust these people to plan my wedding.

This abomination of a website is a badly edited WordPress blog filled with AI art and just enough blog posts to make the casual viewer think that it's a legit business for about 0.0004 seconds.

Their attention to detail is stunning, from how they left up the default first post every WP blog gets to how they didn't bother changing the name on several images, thus revealing where they came from. Like this one:

With the lovely and compact filename "DALL·E-2024-01-30-09.50.54-Imagine-a-scene-where-fantasy-and-reality-merge-seamlessly.-In-the-foreground-a-grand-interactive-gala-is-taking-place-filled-with-elegant-guests-i.png"

"Concept.png" came from the same AI generator that gets text almost, but not quiiiiiite right:

There are a suspicious number of .webp images in the uploads, which makes me think they either stole them from other sites where AI "art" was uploaded or they didn't want to pay for the hi-res versions of some and just grabbed the preview image.

The real fun came when I noticed this filename: Before-and-After-Eventologists-Transformation-Edgbaston-Cricket-Ground-1024x1024-1.jpg and decided to do a Google image search. Friends, you will be shocked to hear that the image in question, found on this post touting how they can transform a boring warehouse into a fun event space, was stolen from this actual event planner.

Even better, this weirdly grainy image?

From a post that claims to be about the preparations for a "Willy Wonka" experience (we'll get to this in a minute), is not only NOT an actual image of anyone preparing anything for Illuminati's event, it is stolen from a YouTube thumbnail that's been chopped to remove the name of the company that actually made this. Here's the video.

If you actually read the blog posts they're all copypasta or some AI generated crap. To the point where this seems like not a real business at all. There's very specific business information at the bottom, but nothing else seems real.

As I said, I'm kinda surprised they put on an event at all. This has, "And then they ran off with all our money!" written all over it. I'm perplexed.

And also wondering when the copyright lawyers are gonna start calling, because...

This post explicitly says they're putting together a "Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory Experience" complete with golden tickets.

Somewhere along the line someone must have wised up, because the actual event was called "Willys Chocolate Experience" (note the lack of apostrophe) and the script they handed to the actors about 10 minutes before they were supposed to "perform" was about a "Willy McDuff" and his chocolate factory.

As I was going through this madness with friends in a chat, one pointed out that it took very little prompting to get the free Chat GPT to spit out an event description and such very similar to all this while avoiding copyrighted phrases. But he couldn't figure out where the McDuff came from since it wasn't the type of thing GPT would usually spit out...

Until he altered the prompt to include it would be happening in Glasgow, Scotland.

You cannot make this stuff up.

But truly, honestly, I do not even understand why they didn't take the money and run. Clearly this was all set up to be a scam. A lazy, AI generated scam.

Everything from the website to the event images to the copy to the "script" to the names of things was either stolen or AI generated (aka stolen). Hell, I'd be looking for some poor Japanese visitor wandering the streets of Glasgow, confused, after being jacked for his mascot costume.

HE LIVES IN THE WALLS, Y'ALL.

[cherriesformatt]

collab of the year || matt sturniolo

matt x fem!reader

summary: matt invites you to meet some friends

warnings: none I think maybe a little suggestive

word count: 1,2k

a/n: hope you like this one

🍒

I was in my bed scrolling through twitter and all I had on my page was videos and pictures from Tara's party. Which Chris and Nick attended while me and Matt had a little gateway trip for our anniversary. They called him on FaceTime and that ended up in Tara's vlog. Everyone thinks it was hilarious including me. I also loved all of the memes with Matt going to bed while the party was happening.

When we came back boys told us about everyone and that they really had fun. I was really happy about that because they usually don't really go out that much. Especially not to parties.

I stopped scrolling when I felt arms around my body.

"Good morning" I heard Matt's raspy, morning voice.

I smiled when I felt little kisses on the back of my neck sending shivers down my body.

"Morning..." I said and turned around to face him.

I smiled when he opened his eyes.

"I am surprised it's like 9 and you're up" I laughed and fixed his hair from his eyes.

"Well...I have things to do" He said and smiled.

"Like what?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Like...you" He pulled me to himself even more and I was about to kiss him when I heard loud knocks on the door.

"Are you guys up? And dressed? Can I come in?" Chris said from the other side of the door and I looked at Matt and kissed his cheek and moved away a little.

"Yes... come in" I said and Matt growled and covered his head with a pillow.

Chris came into the room and looked at us.

"I have news!" He sat on the bed next to Matt.

"Me too, I actually hate you both right now" Matt said and threw the pillow from his face at Chris.

I rolled my eyes and sat up. I put my hair into the bun and looked at Chris.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Tara invited us for dinner to celebrate 1 mil, she wants us to meet Johnnie. Jake, Larray, Sam and Colby are going to be there too. Nick also said that they can come over here after dinner and we could hang out. y/n you will finally meet Tara!" Chris said.

I looked at him. Pure panic in my eyes. I need to clean up this place.

"Well... Then I should start to clean already" I said. That was kinda my thing. Cleaning when I am stressing out.

I spent half of my day cleaning the house, even if it was already pretty clean. Boys helped me a little, mostly Matt. Chris said he is going to clean his own room. Do I believe him? No.

"So should I like match the energy and go all black?" I asked Matt going through my clothes. I already did my make up and was standing in my underwear trying to find something I like.

"I already told you, wear whatever feels like good for you" He said looking at his PC.

"I hate men" I said dramatically and texted Nick to come downstairs.

He walked into the room and looked at me.

"Wow... I bet the other triplet does not get this view. All because I'm gay, how lucky..." He said sarcastically.

"I get more than that..." Matt blinked at him with a smirk on his face.

"Shut the fuck up, my room is above you, I fucking know" He said.

"What do I wear? Help me…He is useless" I looked at Nick pointing at Matt.

"Can't you wear that dress you bought last time we went thrift shopping? And the platform docs with it" He said and went to my jewelry box.

"Those are cool, wear this too" He put a chain and some small hoops on the dresser.

"Thank you Nick" I smiled at him and started to put the outfit together.

"See learn that for the next time" I told Matt when his brother left the room.

"Just to be sure... Did Chris saw you in your underwear?" He asked and I laughed. Can't believe he was still thinking about it.

"Probably? I don't know, who cares...Matt maybe I am just going to stay home" I said and sat on the bed.

"You literally need to stop overthinking that. You know that I also am not a fan of big groups but this people are really cool and chill. It's gonna be okay" He looked at me and smile.

"You look beautiful as always and everyone is going to love you" He stood up from his chair and came up to me.

He put both of his hands on my cheeks and gave me a quick kiss. I smiled and wrinkled my nose.

"Alright..alright.. you will ruin my make up Matthew" I took his hands of my face giving him one more quick kiss.

The dinner went great. They all were really nice. Me and Matt were the only couple there so sometimes they made little jokes about it. I felt very welcome even if I wasn't part of their world. I tried to stay out from the cameras usually. But I didn't want to be rude so when they were filming stories I was on it. I was kinda stressing about people talking shit about me.

When we came to our house and at first we talked and played games together. Then we decided to go to topgolf but before that they wanted to film some TikToks.

"You and Matt are literally a goal couple. He is just so sweet checking on you all the time. Look at him he is scared I'm going to eat you" Tara said to me and I laughed.

"Yes.. he is the best" I looked at Matt with a big smile.

"Do you wanna film TikTok with me? I love your outfit so much" She asked me and i said "fuck it if tara yummy asks you to make a TikTok with her you make a TikTok with her" in my head.

"Okay...I usually only post for my friends but if you want I'm in" I smiled.

We decided to use "Tara Yummy is a mindset" audio since we kinda match with our outfits. She was a real sweetheart and such a funny person. They all were.

"I am really glad you are having fun tonight" Matt said while we were driving to top golf. He put his hand on my knee and smiled.

"It's really fun I'm glad we are doing this. And that you guys are meeting more people" I said and looked at the back at his brothers.

"Girl your and Taras TikTok is so viral" Nick showed me and my eyes went big for the numbers.

"Fuck... that's crazy" I said and Chris laughed.

"Told you that you should start to film as well" He said.

"No thank you..I just couldn't say no to Tara" I laughed.

Topgolf was souper fun. I won with Matt for the first time since forever so I was so happy. Everyone had so much fun and we filmed a lot. Boys were teaching Tara how to play and she looked so cute with the club because she is just so small.

"Matt is sad because his girlfriend is better than him" Jake said while we were on our way to the cars.

"Poor Matty" Chris made a sad face.

I laughed at them and looked at Matt. He just shook his head.

"Well...he is a winner anyways, he has the hottest girl in town, I dare you to show her to the world Matt" Tara said and I blushed.

I BLUSHED. WTF

"Are you flirting with me?" I looked at her and she laughed.

I might have a new best friend.

[dangerousstrawberryshark]

Stress Relief

Pairing(s): Thor Odinson x male reader

Rating: Explicit

Requested: Yes or no?

Warnings: top Thor Odinson, bottom male reader, praise kink, oral sex, cum eating, slight spanking, biting, and blowjob (Thor receiving.

Word count: 1.8k

Summary: Thor wants to unwind after working and dealing with his brother. You decided to give Thor the best way to relax. 

A/N:  Hello, my 🍓little strawberries🍓! I’m finally on summer break, so now I can work on requests! Hopefully, all requests will be made before the year ends. Anyways, enjoy!

Tags: @spnfanboy777 @meyocoko @buckyshusband0 @blurredx18 @zamfam4272 @raspberryyuuki @maxxioislost

Read before continuing: If you’re younger than 18 or any warnings make you uncomfortable, do not continue reading! You may continue reading if there are no problems.

You were lying in bed, scrolling through social media to entertain yourself. Some people were doing the most idiotic things; others told stories from Reddit; and random memes that were becoming popular.

Nothing was happening. Usually, something would be happening at the Avengers Tower, but everybody is out doing something. Tony was testing new weapons in the desert, Steve and Sam were in Washington D.C, and the others you don’t know. 

Everything was quiet until your door opened. You jumped at the sudden intrusion until you looked to see it was Thor. 

He had an annoyed look on his face. You thought there was a vein popping out on his forehead. His jaw was clenching, face red with annoyance. He just looked at you before his features softened, but the look before was still there. 

He then sits right next to you.

You would ask what happened until you remembered why he was gone. Thor had gone back to Asgard to deal with some things. “Was it Loki or Odin?”

“Yeah,” Thor replied as he lays down.

“Do you want me to help you relax?” You said, moving your body closer to Thor’s. He immediately knew what you were hinting at. He smirks at your offer. 

“I would love that, darling,” Thor whispers into your ear as his rough hands roam underneath your shirt. He is pinching your nipples. You groan at the sensation of Thor’s touch. It was rough but soft and sweet.

Thor pulls his hands away. He pushed all the sheets to the side. His hands then move towards his pants, rubbing the noticeable bulge, blue eyes staring into yours. 

You moved from your position on the side of the bed to the floor between his legs. Thor removed his pants, revealing his enormous bulge trapped underneath his undergarments. You could see the thing throbbing with a little wet spot at the tip. 

Your mouth salivates at the sight. Thor smirks as he strokes his cock through the fabric. Without a second thought, you pulled down the last piece of clothing: The most delicious part of Thor.

No matter how often you saw Thor’s cock, it always amazed you. He had the cock of a God. 7.5 inches (19 cm) with veins tracing to the red tip. A somewhat darker shade compared to the rest of his body. His cock was also girthy, measuring 6.5 inches wide (16 cm). You could see the tiny slit already leaking a transparent liquid, precum.

“Like what you see?” Thor said gruffly, as he grabbed his thick cock and slapped it against your left cheek. Smearing his pre-cum all over your cheek. You sigh as Thor guides his cock to your mouth. 

The salty taste of Thor’s precum made contact with your tongue as he slowly pushed deep into your mouth. You could feel your nose touching Thor’s trimmed bush. An incredible musky scent feels your nostrils as Thor doesn’t move your head.

After a few moments, you pulled your head and began slurping his thick cock. Your tongue swirling around the fat red tip, drinking his sweet but salty pre-cum. Thor’s chest heaves as he feels your warm wet mouth slurping his enormous cock.

Thor’s cock felt warm and heavy inside your mouth. You pulled back again to lick the sides of his cock before tracing your tongue along the protruding vein. Thor begins to move his hips as he grips the bed sheets. His balls are slapping against the bottom of your chin. 

His grip on your head tightens as he thrusts into your mouth. “Fucking– so good…” Thor moans as he thrusts a little faster. He could feel your tongue flicking over the silt drinking his sticky precum from the source. 

Thor looks down to see a beautiful sight. You are on your knees sucking his cock, drool, and precum sipping from the edges of your mouth. His cock glistened in the light from your saliva as you moved up and down his cock.

“F-Fuck, baby… Y-you’re– s-sucking m-me so… g-good!” Thor begins to remove his shirt. His chiseled body glistened in sweat as his other hand moved to his pectorals. He groans as he plays with his rock-hard nipples. Twisting and turning while squeezing his pecs. 

“Y-You’re amazing! F-fuck” Thor thrusts faster as he lets out a loud groan. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, teeth-gritting. You feel his thick creamy cum gush out from his tip, making contact with your tongue. A salty taste was prevalent as it ran down your throat.

You could feel your cock throbbing in your pants. Some pre-cum seeping through the cloth of your briefs. You happily let the cum run down your throat.

Thor’s chest heaves up and down as he tries to calm his breathing. Sweat runs down his forehead as he continues to admire you from above.

You pull back from between his legs as you gather the remaining cum around your mouth. Eyes half-closed and lazy as you swirl your tongue around the cum coated finger.

“Fuck, baby… You must want me to fuck that tight ass of yours? Yeah?” *Thor growls as he pulls from the ground and throws you onto the bed. Face first and ass facing him.

You could feel Thor beginning to remove your pants and your briefs. The cold air makes your throbbing cock shiver from the coldness. 

Thor was mesmerized. His large rough hands move across the fat of your ass. Giving your ass slaps as he smirks from the way the flesh jiggles. 

His hands spread your cheeks apart to reveal your tight hole. Puckering from the air as it clenches around nothing.

He was chuckling to himself as he pushed you further into the mattress as his hands continued to smack your ass, enjoying the way it jiggled from the hard impact. Your ass turning red with noticeable handprints. 

“You’ve been working out? This ass got fatter. I like that,” Thor says as he squishes and kneads it like dough. Even though he had an orgasm a few minutes ago, his cock was throbbing again. 

The bed’s springs squeak as Thor’s heavy body moves temporarily to search through a nearby dresser. After a few seconds, he returns with a bottle of lube.

You could hear the bottle cap opening and the lubricant squeezing out onto his hand. Thor smears the lubricant all over his hand before moving them down toward your hole. 

Your eyes widened for two reasons. One was feeling Thor slowly penetrate your tight hole with the lubed finger. His thick fingers slowly pushed deeper until you felt one hit your prostate.

The other one is Thor wrapping his large hand around your throbbing cock. You could feel him slowly stroking. One finger swirls the tip to gather copious amounts of precum. He smears it everywhere, and your cock glistens. 

Your teeth clench the bed sheets as you bite down from how Thor is fingering your ass and stroking your leaking cock

“Does that feel good, baby?” Thor says as he thrusts his fingers faster and strokes your cock. He leans down to your neck, biting and licking your ear. 

You start to breathe harder. Your cock was throbbing and leaking more. The tip turns a little red. Your balls tighten as it signals your orgasm.

Thor strokes you faster. You moan into the sheets as your cock, overstimulated from Thor’s constant stroking and fingering, finally spurts out its white sticky cum. The substance coats Thor’s hand and he makes sure to milk every drop. 

Your eyes rolled back as you covered Thor’s hand in cum. 

“Delicious,” Thor says as he licks his hand clean of your cum. He pulls his fingers out after determining you were stretched enough.

You then feel Thor slap his hard cock against your cheek. Thor smiles as he hears your moans. He grinds his fat cock between your ass cheeks. The tip nearly penetrated the rim.

“It’s been forever since I pound this tight ass,” Thor growls as he pushes the tip past the rim. His cock was surrounded by the lubed insides, slowly pushing deeper until his cock rested against your prostate.

Your eyes rolled back as you felt Thor’s thick cock penetrate your ass. His groans could be heard as you clenched around him, sucking his cock deeper.

“F-fuck… r-right- oh… there!” You moan as you push your head deeper into the sheets as Thor settles down for a moment. Letting you breathe and calm down. 

After a minute or two, you give Thor confirmation to continue. He slowly pulls out and pushes back. You grip the sheets tighter as Thor thrusts into your ass. His cock slams into your prostate.  

Your limped cock starts to become erect as Thor continues to ram his cock. 

Thor’s hands grip your hips as he thrust wildly into your ass. His mind turns mushy from how tight you are. Loud squelching noise rings through the room.

He pulls your ass cheeks apart and watches how his cock disappears and reappears from your hole. “Such a slutty ass. This slutty ass belongs to me!” Thor growls as he starts stroking your cock again. Syncing the thrusts and stroking.

“Y-yours! B-belongs to you~” you scream in pleasure as Thor rams his cock into your prostate and his hand stroking your cock. 

You could feel your second orgasm nearing from the constant stimulation. His cock rearranging your guys. 

After a few more rough thrusts and strokes, your thighs tense and your hole clenched around his cock. Back arches up and screams of ecstasy as your orgasm ripples through your body. Spilling thick cum onto the bed sheets underneath you. Thick and hot seeping from the tip.

Thor groans as he gave a few more thrusts until he grips your hips tighter. The knot in his guts breaks open; he fills your ass, one spurt after another. Filling you to the brim. 

Your mouth fell open as your body collapsed onto the bed. Your body glistens from sweat and exhaustion.

Thor pulls his limped cock out of your ass. He grabs and spreads your cheeks, admiring the art he created. Cum gushing out. He then collapses next to you.

He pulls you closer to his body. You could feel your body sticking against his sweaty muscular one. He buries his head into your nap. 

“I love you, m/n.” 

THE END.

A/n: it's been forever since I wrote smut. I'm sorry if this took so long to post. Anyways, bye, my 🍓little strawberries🍓!

[allywthsr]

24HRS WITH VOGUE | (l.norris)

summary: Lando and Y/N are doing a follow us around with vogue during the summer break, and show what their day looks like

wordcount: 5.8k words

pairing: landonorris x singer!femreader

warnings: allusion to smut, nothing graphic, rage at mario kart

notes: my favorite one I‘ve written so far!!! Please comment your thoughts!

When you opened the door after hearing a few knocks, you were faced with a big camera.

”Hello Vogue, my name is Y/N Y/L/N and this is my and Lando Norris‘ daily routine during the summer break. Welcome to our Monaco home.“

You smiled at the camera and led it to your bedroom, where a sleepy Lando was laying. After sitting on your side of the bed you began talking.

”This is where our mornings begin, obviously. We like to sleep in, depending on our plans for the day, and cuddle, check our phones, and talk nonsense for hours.“ ”Or do things we won’t name here“, Lando added, smirking while you turned around, shaking your head with a smile, where you were met with his beautiful face.

”Anyway, we start our mornings here, just chill and you know, enjoy the peace we have during the mornings.“

The cameraman pressed the recording button to stop the recording and said: ”Can we get a few beauty shots of you guys cuddling and just being on your phones? So we can add that over the talking?“

You guys both nodded and Lando opened his arms so you could lay down, closing them around you once you did. You settled on his chest, laying your head under his‘ and taking his scent in. Cuddling with Lando was the best thing ever, especially in the mornings after you’ve just woken up. You closed your eyes and the camera made a little beep sound, signaling you that it was recording again. For a few seconds, you both were quiet acting like you had just woken up and cuddled, it was kind of weird having you filmed while doing something that was intimate, but you and Lando recently got engaged and everyone wanted to have their piece of cake. You thought doing one big video would keep them fed, so you could enjoy the summer break. Now the cameramen spoke up: ”Can you change position maybe take your phones and just pretend to check it?“

So you took your phones and scrolled on them, pretending to see the newest gossip that happened over the night. When you saw a funny meme on your Instagram page pop up, you let out a laugh, showing Lando, who started to giggle in his high-pitched voice.

”Okay guys, I think I have it, let’s keep going with your routine.“

You got out of bed and walked to the blinds that were shut.

”The first thing I do is open the blinds, I just do it very dramatically, because they‘re floor to ceiling ones and I like to have my moment in the morning“, you let out a laugh, opening them.

”As you can see, I‘m still wearing my Pyjamas, well, a shorts and a T-shirt from Lando, so the first thing I do is change or pick out my clothes for the day if I need to shower, but I already did it yesterday. So I‘m gonna change and you’re gonna leave me alone for a minute“, you pointed at the camera smiling.

In reality, he didn’t leave the room, but you did. Changing in the ensuite bathroom that was connected to the bedroom. When you came back, dressed in your shorts and a crop top, you stood in the same spot where you had the last shot, beginning to talk.

”Alright, I‘m changed. Someone is not“, you took a glance in Lando’s direction, who was still on his phone.

”He always tells everyone he‘s an early bird but he hates getting up. So I drag him out of bed.“

You took his ankle and pulled on it, trying to pull him out of bed. All you could hear was an unsatisfied sound coming from Lando, you let out a chuckle.

”Come on baby, you need to go to your training session.“

”Nooo, safe me“, he dramatically fell out of bed laying on the floor pretending to sleep again.

”He‘s always dramatic, I‘m headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth and do my skincare routine, he‘ll follow eventually.“

The next scene was in the bathroom with Lando standing next to you. He was shirtless and only in sweatpants, you almost started drooling over how good he looked, and he was yours, all yours. Thank god.

”Alright, we brush our teeth before we do anything else.“

Lando and you like to make fun of each other during mornings like this, pushing the other constantly or tickling on the hip. You squeezed the toothpaste on Lando’s and on your brush and put it in your mouth, brushing your teeth. The bathroom had his‘ and her‘s sink, yours being littered with products you claimed you needed every day. Lando always scoffed while trying to prevent an argument that water does the same as your products. Pulling out your phone, you took a picture of Lando and you and sent it to the family group chat, as you always do. Because you both moved out of your parent's home and even out of your home country, your parents called even more, missing you both. You promised them to send a message at least once a day, so you took a picture most mornings to send it their way. Saying good morning and asking how they were. Putting your phone next to your sink again.

You stood behind your sink and Lando on his‘, your elbow always touching his arm as you moved it a lot. ”Can you stop doing that? It’s annoying“, Lando told you regarding the touching, but you barely understood him with the foam that started to form in his mouth due to the brushing of his teeth. Wanting to annoy him extra, you pushed your arm fully against his and he landed on the wall with a stumble.

When he stood next to you again, he put his toothbrush under the water and before he rinsed his face, he pressed a kiss on your cheeks with his foamy mouth. You pulled a disgusted face and spit out the foam in the sink and washed your face.

”That’s where I am finished, I just need water and not all the products Y/N uses, my face is spotless without all of them. Follow me for more beauty recommendations or whatever they say.“ He went into the bedroom to change into his clothes for the day, consisting of a pair of shorts and a T-shirt he found in his closet.

”My skin needs all of these products because somehow men have better everything than women. Better skin, silkier hair, lashes that are perfect and whatnot. But yeah, that’s where we part ways, I continue with my skincare and Land-“ ”I mostly prepare breakfast for us, so follow me if you wanna see what that looks like.“

The cameramen set up a camera to record your routine while he followed Lando into the kitchen.

”So yeah, I begin with putting on this hairband“, you picked up your favorite hairband and put it around your head.

”I start with this cleanser“, you showed your favorite cleanser into the camera, ”I just wash my face with it, cleaning the dirt off my face that‘s on there after removing my makeup from yesterday and the dirt from the night“, you applied it with your hands and rubbed your face nicely to get everything off. Washing it off with lukewarm water, you took the next product.

”Then depending on what my skin needs, I have this pore minimizer that I love“, you took some on your fingers and gently massaged it on your T-zone, again washing it off afterward.

”Sometimes I get very dry skin like today, where I love to use a peeling. I love this one because it just does the job, isn’t super expensive, and smells like an Angel“, just as you wanted to show it to the lenses you heard Lando from the door.

”So it smells like you?“, you turned around looking at him.

”I love you“, you whispered to him.

”Lando sometimes likes to join me during this, he watches me a lot or even lets me apply some masks or whatever, but he would never admit it in front of the camera“, you laughed and touched his face with your hand, guided it to yours and pressed a quick kiss on his lips.

”I would never do this beauty thing, my skin is perfect without it.“ With a wink to the camera, he turned around again, probably going into the kitchen.

”Anyway, I love this peeling so much“, you applied it on your face and washed it off again after massaging it gently.

”Next I use a mask, I have a few that I love, but today I chose this one“, holding it to the camera, ”I apply it with this brush and then leave it on for about 15 minutes. I also have to say that I don’t do this every day, I only use the peeling and the mask once or twice a week so I don’t overdo my skincare. Too much can also be harmful. Let’s see what Lando is doing.“

//////////////////////meanwhile at Lando///////////////////////

”Yeah alright, welcome to our kitchen. My breakfast is mostly premade by my coach Jon, but sometimes, like during the summer break, I get to choose my own breakfast. Really exciting stuff. But because I‘m still a high-performance athlete, I need to watch out for my carbs and whatnot.

For me, it’s just a toasty with avocado and some chicken breast filet. And Y/N likes toasties as well with her favorite topping, but she also sometimes just eats a bowl of cereal depending on her mood. So I just place two toasties in the toaster“, he did like he said and pressed the button for it to start baking.

He cut up the avocado and took the chicken breast fillet out of its packaging while he waited for the toasty to finish. In between he made a trip to the en-suite bathroom, annoying you in the process.

After you came into the kitchen with your mask on your face it was time to eat. You all sat down on the table and chatted while eating, the camera was turned off and Lando had also prepared a breakfast for the cameraman.

When you finished eating it was time to record again, so he got up and pressed play.

”Breakfast was delicious and before you think that Lando can all of a sudden cook, it’s just an illusion. He puts the toasty on the toaster and I forbid him to press anything else on it except the toasting button because he‘d change the setting and would burn everything. I showed him hundreds of times how to cut an Avocado, literally hundreds, I even recorded a video once when I was away and he called me because he didn’t know how to. And everyone can take a piece of chicken breast fillet out of the package, so he ain’t no chef guys“, you cheekily smiled at him while he mumbled a: ”Can you stop exposing me please?“

You pressed a kiss on his cheek and got up, speaking to the camera: ”Anyway, next we clean up, unload, and load the dishwasher. I like to do that right after so it’s not standing around on the table all day. Lando also helps with that, before anyone comes at him in the comments now. He helps quite a lot in the household, takes the trash out because I find it disgusting, helps with unloading the dishwasher, and even the small things like cleaning our mirror in the bathroom every now and then. He works very hard every day so he doesn’t have to do all the work.“

While you opened the dishwasher to load all of the dishes, Lando passed you the plates, the silverware, and the mugs you used for breakfast.

”I‘ll just go wash this mask off and apply some moisturizer and then I am done with my skincare routine.“

”Alright now I have my daily workout session with my trainer Jon, luckily we have an apartment gym in our building complex so we don’t have to travel far, only down to the basement. Y/N likes to join when she has time and motivation.“

So you three went down the stairs to the basement where you walked through the door to find a rather small gym, but it had all the needed equipment for a session that Lando needed to do.

You walked through the door and were welcomed by Jon who did his warm-up.

”This is my trainer, Jon, he tortures me every day. He is the evil guy who forbids me from eating Kinder chocolate. It’s my favorite and it hurts me every day. Anyway, we‘ll do a quick workout, today is more or less a rest day, but because I need to be in the best shape possible I train every day, just some light training today, we will start with the warm-up.“

With that Jon, Lando and you started to stretch and warm your muscles slowly, while Lando did his thing, you went onto the treadmill to get slowly to it. You weren’t a professional athlete but you were glad that you had Jon by your side as well, helping whenever you needed it. He wasn’t your trainer but always kept an eye on you to teach you when you did something wrong.

So the cameraman filmed beauty shots of you both training, doing lunges, squatting, and some light cardio. He also filmed little shots of Jon, Lando and you laughing because Lando said something funny about his training again. Whenever he had to do his neck training you couldn’t do anything else than laugh. The way his lip twitches got you crackling every time, you didn’t want to imagine how you would look like if you had to do this exercise.

You both finished this session with a plank hold, where Lando definitely won, but you liked to challenge each other.

Going back to your flat you went into the bathroom, doing a light Make-up for the day.

”I have nothing big planned today, but I still like to look a little fresh, so I’m just gonna apply some concealer, powder, contouring, blush, eyeliner, and mascara. I don’t need much time for it, it’s a routine by now.“

You put all the products on and went into the living room and sat around the dining table behind your MacBooks.

”You look absolutely beautiful, angel.“

Your heart melted and you blushed a little as always when Lando complimented you.

”We mostly take the time after a workout to check our emails, messages, and whatnot. Lando likes to go through some data while I go through new music with my producer. But, if you follow us on social media, you‘ll know that we‘re currently building a house in the UK. Since we live in Monaco, we can’t be there every day. So we FaceTime a lot with the company that builds it. We have a meeting scheduled with them in six minutes actually, where we just see the house and talk about the progress and the next steps. The shell is almost done and they can finally start building the inside. I‘m really excited, you have no idea.“

You opened your laptop and waited for the call to come. Lando got you both something to drink, him a smoothie that Jon gave him and you got your favorite drink, you thanked him with a kiss on his cheek.

”Before people say, look at them they‘re so boujee, building a house and all that. We got a piece of land from my parents as a gift. Yeah okay, that is boujee“, Lando started laughing in his high-pitched voice and then continued: ”But just don’t be a hater, we never wanted to stay in Monaco forever and so we thought that now is the perfect timing to build a house, especially with the engagement and all that. We’ve always dreamed about building our own home, how we imagine it to look like and we’re internally grateful that we can afford it. It takes some time before our dream home is built, so we have to be patient.“

When he mentioned the engagement, a big smile erupted on both of your faces. Just a month ago he went down on one knee and popped the question, you didn’t even have to think about what you would answer. Shouting out the yes after a second of processing what was happening.

The cameraman looked up, ” Tell us more of the engagement. You‘ve been together for what?“

”He‘s been nagging my ass for five years now“, you looked at Lando with a smile.

”Yeah and she‘s singing my ear off for five years, I don’t know what’s worse“, with a serious look he turned his head to the camera before a smile came across his lips.

”No but it was romantic, at least for us. We‘re both not really romantic people, we both need our separate spaces from time to time, we also don’t light a candle just because we eat dinner or something if you get what I mean.“

”Yeah and we have a spot in Monaco where we like to go when we need to relax, it’s up in the hills where you can see the whole city, I found it when I was on a morning run“, with that Lando put his hand on your thigh and slowly caressed it.

”So we went there in evening, it was beautiful weather, and we just settled on a blanket like we always do. Enjoy the peace and all that. I just wanted to relax a bit and he suddenly started to talk about how much he loves me and how happy he is that we found each other, and I just was like ’ Please stop, I want to hear the birds chirping to relax‘ but he continued and I started joking on ’how much of a simp he is telling me that’ he did ask me to ’shut up‘ at one point. So when he told me to get up, I was not having it. I just settled on the ground, and then I had to get up again, the audacity of this men guys. But no I’m kidding, when I got up he went down on one knee and boom“, after the boom you showed your hand with the ring to the camera.

”It’s beautiful, isn’t it? Exactly how I imagined it to be. But before anyone comments stuff like ’ How did you not get it when he started his speech‘, I had a suspicion but I didn’t think it would happen that day. And he tells me often how he feels about me and us, call him Simp but it’s really cute. So it was nothing new, him talking about it.“

”So when’s the wedding?“, the cameraman asked.

”We haven’t planned anything yet. With Lando’s busy schedule, it’s hard to plan a date when everyone is free. But we take our time with this, we don’t have to get married tomorrow.“

Just after you ended your sentence, your laptop started ringing, indicating that a FaceTime call was coming. You accepted it and you both were met with your architect.

”Alright“, Lando clapped his hands, ”we finished our call and normally we like to go on a walk or something like that during the afternoon. Let’s go then.“

Lando and you walked hand in hand through the streets of Monaco, being stopped by fans every few meters, but that’s the price you pay. The cameraman filmed a lot of beauty shots of Lando and you, you were super excited for when you would see the whole video.

After a walk through beautiful Monaco, you settled in a restaurant.

”Sometimes we are too lazy to cook anything and we go out to eat. This is our favorite restaurant. I try to choose something healthy from the menu, but it’s the summer break, so I get to treat myself a little. I‘m gonna go for some chicken with fries and a salad, so I can send Jon a picture of how healthy I eat.“

”And I‘m going to take number thirty nine, it’s my favorite. I always get it.“

After lunch was served, and you guys ate it was late in the afternoon.

”It’s almost 6:00 pm now and we have almost nothing left in our fridge, so we have to go food shopping.“

You guys went into the store and Lando pushed the cart, often enough putting all his weight on it and sliding through the aisles.

”We‘re going on our holiday trip in like four days, so we don’t need as much as we usually do.“

Putting in the cart normal things like fruits and vegetables, some bread, things to put on top of the bread, and some drinks.

Lando sneaked a kinder chocolate bar into the cart, looking guilty at the camera while whispering to the microphone: ”If your Jon, I‘m sorry.“

You picked a yogurt for yourself and one for Lando to enjoy during the evening. As well as some toilet paper, some kitchen rolls, and choosing a new surface cleaner.

You went to the cashier and put everything into a shopping bag you always carried around in your purse, as Lando paid with your shared card.

Walking back home, Lando carried the bag in his left hand while holding your hand with his right. Talking with you about the most random things. The walk wasn’t long, just fifteen minutes so you enjoyed the view, walking through the old streets of Monaco was one of your favorite things to do here, just looking at the architecture was beautiful. It also amazed you every time how luxurious this city is, so many luxury stores were next to each other, Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Prada, you could go on and on.

When you arrived home, you put all of your groceries away, while Lando started to unload the dishwasher you loaded this morning. Putting the plates in their place in the cupboard as well as the glasses and sorting the cutlery in the drawer.

Afterward, Lando went streaming. The camera follows your every step.

”Lando is now streaming and I like to make him a snack that he can eat while gaming. We bought some fresh fruit earlier, as you saw, and I’m just gonna cut him an apple and some watermelon. He‘s like a little kid, I swear.“

After doing so, you went to his gaming room, knocking on the door so he would hear you through his headphones. You heard a loud: ”Chat wait, Y/N knocked on the door.“

He opened it and you were met with your gorgeous boyfriend, wearing his big headphones and looking cuddly as ever.

”I cut you some fruit up.“

”You’re the best girlfriend ever“, you laughed at the statement.

You both went to his PC and he sat down with you on his lap. He took the fruit plate and showed it to the camera that was attached to his desktop.

”Look chat, Y/N made me some fruit. She gets the girlfriend of the month award!“

Looking at the chat, he realized his mistake.

”I mean fiancé, not girlfriend, you’re right chat. She’s not my girlfriend anymore.“

He smiled up at you while you turned your head around to see him, pressing a kiss on his lips.

You turned around again and read the chat.

”That’s Vogue behind us, Chat. They‘re following us throughout the day. Stay tuned it’s coming up next week. No, we‘re not filming porn, what the fuck? You‘re Chat is weird Lan.“

”I know, I know.“

”Anyway, Imma get going, I have a meeting about my tour now.“

You stood up, but not before you waved at the camera and said your goodbyes. Ruffling through his curls and pressed a kiss on top of his head, while he slapped you on your right ass cheek for everyone to see. You gasped and let out a loud: ”Lando!“, before leaving the room and closing the door again.

”Alright I just have to put our laundry in our washing machine so it can wash it. It should be ready before we go to bed, so I can put it in our dryer.“

Collecting the laundry and the dirty towels, you went into the utility room. Putting everything into the washing machine, you started the fast program and left to go into the kitchen again.

”I have a quick meeting about my tour now. I‘m going on tour in three months and it’s more planning than some would think. Right now we‘re discussing about the final visuals I want to have behind me while performing. But I‘m not showing you anything from it, it’s going to be a surprise and you should see it for the first time when you come to see me“, you winked at the camera. ”I‘ll see y‘all later!“

Finishing your meeting after an hour, you went into Lando‘s streaming room again, sitting on his lap.

”Alright Chat, this is it for today, we‘ll go and enjoy the rest of our evening and so should you.“

You both waved to the camera and you saw the goodbyes rolling in, Lando ended the stream and you went into the kitchen to prepare some dinner.

”When we already ate some actual food, we‘ll just eat some bread or bread rolls or whatever. We bought some fresh ones today while shopping, so we‘re eating that tonight. I‘m going to cut some cucumber and healthy stuff to eat with it“, you said and prepared the dinner table. Putting out the cucumber, peppers, and cherry tomatoes as well as the bread rolls and toppings for them. The cameraman shot some beauty shots of the table and then you sat around it and ate your dinner.

When you finished eating, Lando passed you the dirty dishes while you loaded them into the dishwasher, you always did this, he passed you the dishes and you loaded the washer. It became your routine and you loved how you had your routines, it was like a married couple. It showed that you worked together and how you helped the other, whatever you did.

Five years was a long time, you basically became an adult together, and you grew into the person you now are, and only because you had the other one to help.

Sitting down on your couch, you sat closely next to each other, Lando putting his hand on your thigh.

”After dinner, we just like to watch movies, watch our series, play video games, play board games whatever. Every night is different. I don’t know what we‘ll do today. Lan, what do you think?“

”Uhm, I kind of want to play Mario Kart. Are you okay with that?“

”I would love that actually.“

One of the things that Lando and you also had in common, was the love for Mario Kart. I mean everyone loved it, but Lando and you had an unhealthy obsession with it. At least that is what your friends say. You could play the game for hours, only stopping when one of the others got too aggressive. Lando had smashed multiple controllers because of it. You yelled at him for throwing blue shells or sending red shells your way whenever you were first. You hit him multiple times on wherever you could reach when he played unfair.

”But only if you play fair“, you told him. He sat up straight and looked at you with an unamused look.

”Me playing fair? What’s with you? You always distract me with ways I can’t name here, who plays unfair now?“

That was true. When things went bad you only had one strategy and it was: Distracting.

You kissed his neck, you loved his neck and so you left little kisses on them, biting playfully into it, knowing that that was one of Lando’s weaknesses. Tracing your tongue from his ear to his T-shirt collar, and then blowing air on it. Leaving him shivering with the sensation. And if that didn’t make him distracted and driving into a wall, you would do things he could never say no to.

Touching his bulge, and staring at his face. And if he was that into the game, not acting up on your touching, ignoring you to get the win, there was only one last solution.

Getting. On. Your. Knees.

You would throw away your controller and sink in front of the sofa and tug on his pants until his member was freed. Then doing unholy things to him that would definitely make him forget about the game. Mostly he would return the favor, the game long forgotten, and spending what felt like hours on making the other feel better. Sometimes he would groan and blame you afterwards, that he lost but when you reminded him what happened minutes earlier he would grin and then make some cocky remark.

But that wouldn’t happen today. Not when the camera or another human was in the room.

So you just scoffed at the camera and rolled your eyes.

He chose Koopa Troopa, his favorite, and you chose your favorite character, selecting a kart, that would make you the fastest.

”One hundred ccm? Or one hundred and fifty?“

”Let’s do one hundred and fifty, I‘m up for a challenge.“

”Uhhhhh baby, you have no idea what’s coming“, Lando yelled.

So you started with the Mario Circuit, Lando won, but only because he threw a red shell your way in the last corner, getting you right before the finish line, which he crossed with a loud giggle and pushed your shoulder to mock you.

Next up was Toad Harbour, Lando‘s favorite track, he knew it like the back of his hand and aced it, of course. You tried to sabotage him by tickling his sides but that didn’t work.

The third was Sunshine Airport, you won. Flying through the corners like a bird, drifting your way around the track.

The last one was Rainbow Road. You both groaned when the random setting chose this track.

”Whoever wins, is the winner. Rainbow Road is only a track for professionals“, Lando suggested.

You nodded and prepared yourself for the screaming that was about to happen.

Looking at the cameraman, hoping he wasn’t too disturbed by you and Lando competing in the game, knowing how competitive you both could get.

The race started and you fell down in the first corner, being pushed off by some character, you yelled at the screen. Otherwise, you made it through the first two rounds safely. On the third lap, you were in second, and Lando in first, you drove through a question block and you got a red shell. Sending it his way he screamed at you.

”Stop with this bullshit Y/N.“

You giggled and he did a backflip on the track after it hit him. Now you being in first place your heart started beating faster, now or never. You already saw the finish line but then suddenly a bomb appeared in front of you, fully driving into it. You just heard a scream from Lando, you looked at his screen and you saw that he also drove into it. And before you knew it Baby Rosalina won the game.

”NO THIS CAN NOT BE IT, FUCKING BABY ROSALINA WON THE GAME NO!“

Lando going into full rage mode and screaming at the TV while throwing the Controller next to him and crossing his arms before his chest.

”I have enough of this stupid game, I wanna watch something on Netflix.“

You looked at the camera. ”That is something that happens whenever he loses. I‘m not that much better, to be honest.“

With that, you opened Netflix and you cuddled up to him, choosing the series you started two days ago.

The cameraman filmed some beauty shots of you cuddling and then went around the flat filming beauty shots of the apartment, you were curious on how the video would turn out.

Suddenly you sat up and Lando looked at you with a big question mark on his face.

”What happened?“

”Our laundry!“

”I thought something happened, god damn Y/N.“

The camera followed you to the utility room, filming you taking out the laundry, putting it into the dryer, and starting the dryer.

”It’s late and I need to do my nightly skincare routine, it’s not as big as the morning routine but I do some things to get ready for bed.“

You went into the bathroom and explained your next steps.

”First I start with removing my makeup. I remove it with this“, you showed your favorite product into the camera, ”I just love it. I apply it and it practically melts my makeup off. Next, I use this cleanser to make sure I am fully clean in the face and then I just use a night cream or an oil to give my skin the moisture it needs. And now is when Lando normally joins me for brushing our tee-.“

And before you could end the sentence, Lando walked into the bathroom settling behind his sink just like this morning. He took his toothbrush and squeezed some toothpaste on it while repeating the same on your toothbrush. Putting it in your mouth, you both started to brush your teeth. Instead of pushing the other, you leaned your head against his arm, slowly feeling the tiredness overtaking your body, sometimes doing nothing all day can be more tiring than having a big schedule. So you spit out the foam, rinsed your mouth and Lando did the same, washing his face after. You both went into the bedroom and put your Pyjamas on for the night, well, you again put on some random shorts and a T-shirt from Lando and he put on shorts as well.

Settling in bed, Lando turned on the TV.

”We normally just watch some YouTube videos until we almost fall asleep, we‘ll watch whatever pops up, mostly some sidemen videos. But now is the time where you’re gonna leave us, thank you so much Vogue for following us throughout the day and I hope you all enjoyed the video.“

You started waving toward the camera and Lando screamed out a: ”Peace!“

The cameraman ended the recording and you got out of bed. Thanking him for following you both through this day and accompanying him to the door, saying your final goodbyes, and wishing him a good night.

When you returned, Lando sat on your bed with his arms wide open, ready for a cuddle. So you took the spot and looked at the new MoreSidemen video that just came out, ending the night with the love of your life.

[mapiforpresident]

Claudia Pina Angst pls! (Or literally anything Claudia Pina! ❤️🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

How Could You Do This Part 1

Claudia Pina x reader

warnings: angst

Summary: You find out your girlfriend is cheating on you

Not proof read so let me know if you see any mistakes.

~~~

You were scrolling through TikTok on your girlfriend's phone, patiently waiting for her to finish her Cupra interview. Since your phone had died, Claudia had kindly lent you hers to stave off boredom during the wait.

Halfway through watching a hilarious dog video, a text from Patri popped up, catching your attention before you could swipe it away. It read, "just tell her before she finds out." Confusion washed over you as you tried to decipher whom or what Patri was referring to. Another text appeared, stating, "Y/n will be so mad once she finds out. Hopefully she doesn't break up with you. At the very least, you might be sleeping on your new couch for a week."

What could Patri possibly be talking about? It seemed clear that Claudia was keeping something from you, something she knew she shouldn't. Your mind immediately jumped to the conclusion that Claudia was cheating on you. You and your girlfriend had always prided yourselves on honesty, promising never to keep secrets from each other. Thus, you couldn't fathom what else she could be hiding.

Though hesitant, you couldn't resist the urge to snoop. Clicking on Patri's message, you hoped to uncover the mystery. Initially, the conversation consisted of random memes and funny videos they'd exchanged, but you stumbled upon a series of texts from two days ago that piqued your interest.

Patri: Did you meet up with the girl today?

Pina: Yeah, she was awesome. I can't wait to see her again.

Patri: That's great! I'm glad you found someone better.

Pina: Yeah, me too. Y/n is going to murder me when she finds out though. I need to tell her soon.

Patri: Take her to a nice dinner and then try to break the news.

Pina: I might. I keep trying, but every time I go to mention it, I chicken out. I don't want her to be upset.

Recalling the fancy dinner Claudia had taken you out to the previous night, her nervous demeanor suddenly made sense. You had assumed it was related to her upcoming interview, as she never enjoyed media engagements. It was unfathomable to think that she had started seeing someone else, especially with Patri's encouragement. A whirlwind of thoughts flooded your mind. Your girlfriend of over three years was cheating on you. Feeling overwhelmed, you dropped the phone onto the chair and rushed out of the room. Claudia remained engrossed in her interview, oblivious to your sudden departure.

You raced down the training ground hallway until you found a bathroom, locking yourself in the first stall, overcome by sobs. How could Claudia betray your trust like this? You believed you had the perfect relationship, and just that morning, she had seemed so deeply in love with you. She had made you breakfast and cuddled with you on the couch until the last possible moment before you had to leave. She had always been affectionate, constantly holding and kissing you. You were at a loss, unable to comprehend what you had done wrong.

"Y/n, is that you in there? What's wrong? What happened? Do you want me to get Claudia?" It was Alexia's voice. You hadn't heard her enter the bathroom.

"No, no, don't get Claudia," you called out desperately.

"Why? What happened? Did she do something? Let me in." Alexia was very confused at this point because whenever you were sad or hurt or upset, you immediately asked for Claudia, and Claudia always immediately came to your side no matter what she was doing.

You silently unlocked the door as Alexia squatted down in front of you. When she saw your tear-stained face but no visible injury, she decided to try and help you up, knowing you were physically fine. "Oh, bebita, what happened?"

Alexia now had you standing and hugged you tightly as she tried to get you to calm down enough to explain what had made you so upset.

"Clau... Clau..."

"It's okay, it will be okay. Take some deep breaths for me." You did as Alexia told you, trying to take a few deep breaths as your sobs turned into sniffles.

"Clau... she cheated... she told Patri... that she... found a better girl... she said she met up with her," you choked out as Alexia started to look furious. She loved Claudia, but if this was true, then she wouldn't hesitate to confront her.

"Did she tell you this? Did Patri?"

"No... I saw their text messages... I was just TikToking while she had her interview."

"God, I am going to kill them both. You are coming to stay at my place tonight. I will text Olga to make up the spare room. I am going to have a talk with Claudia tomorrow and then Patri. I will bring Mapi too." Alexia was basically talking to herself at this point as she led you to the locker room to quickly grab her things.

Just as she was about to lead you towards the door to leave, Claudia burst through.

"There you are, amor, what happened? I couldn't find you anywhere. Are you ready..."

"Get out," Alexia said in her loud, stern voice.

"What... what happened? Is y/n okay..."

"Get out now," Alexia said again. "Don't ever come near y/n again, I swear, Claudia."

Neither you nor Claudia had ever seen your captain look so angry and so disappointed. Claudia was stunned; she had no idea how to react. She turned and ran out the door, not knowing where she was going. What did she do wrong? She didn't think she had done anything wrong, but you had clearly been crying, and Alexia looked furious, so she must have done something.

~~~

Claudia ran out onto the pitch and grabbed a bag of balls laying off to the side. Everyone had already left, but she didn't want to leave until she figured out what she did wrong.

She took penalty after penalty until her leg could barely kick the ball into the net. She finally decided to go to her best friend for help, maybe Patri could help her figure out what she had done wrong.

It was well past the sun going down as she pulled into the parking lot of Patri's apartment complex. Patri was shocked at hearing the knock and opening the door to reveal the most sad she thinks she had ever seen Claudia.

"Hey Claudia, what happened, aren't you supposed to be at the movies with y/n tonight. She's been waiting for it to come out for months." Patri said as she moved to let Claudia into her apartment, but before Claudia could fully enter she broke down.

"I messed up, I don't know what I did. We were fine this morning, but after I got done with my interview she was gone and... and... and... then I went to go find her and she was crying in Alexia's arms. Alexia told me to get out. I have never seen her that angry before and y/n wouldn't even look at me. I don't know what I did wrong. I don't know what to do. Y/n and Alexia won't answer my calls or texts and..." Claudia ranted so fast that Patri could barely keep up.

"Hey, hey, hey slow down, everything will be ok. You and y/n love each other ok. recount your steps, there is nothing that you could have done to upset her?" Patri asked as they sat down on the couch, Claudia with her head in her hands.

~~~

Thirty minutes later Claudia stood nervously outside of Alexia's door with flowers and your favorite chocolate. She wanted to come talk to you knowing that you were most likely here. She wanted to figure out what she did wrong and how she could make it up to you.

Alexia opened the door thinking it was the food she ordered for takeout. "Hello thank ... oh Claudia." Alexia's voice immediately changed from nice and friendly to annoyance and verging on rude.

"Please leave you are not welcome her. Y/n does not want to hear from you or see you again outside of practice."

"But... but what did I do. I didn't do anything wrong. I love her please Alexia just let me talk to her," Claudia begging while trying to remain calm and not let her tears fall in front of her captain.

"Go. Now. Before I call the cops." Alexia slammed the door in the face of the girl she once thought of as a little sister. Claudia didn't know what to do so she just called Patri as she got back in her car.

"I lost her. I lost her," Pina says as she sobs on the phone.

[writingoddess1125]

saw ur request is finally open dlsksksks i hope modern au is your jam 🤞🏻

I would love to get your thought on buggy, shanks, and minawk reacting to reader accidentally sending them a nude pic 🤧

Oh I love you RN ❤️

Okay so did I go overboard? Absolutely Do I care? HELL NO!

You Accidently Send them a Nude Pic!

Buggy, Shanks, Mihawk

SPICY THEMES! ❤️‍🔥

You are gonna need some Ice cubes 🧊 after this one ;D

If you like please Support me on Ko-Fi

Buggy

"For fucks sake" You grumbled as you looked through google- You needed a specific pose for this commission, it was an expensive NSFW one and yet you could not find the right pose and for some reason couldn't figure it from memory-

"Fuck it time to go old school-" You grumbled, Peeling off your clothes and walking to the bedroom were your mirror was, Setting up you snapped a few pictures in the pose needed.

Looking at the few shots you couldn't help but pat yourself on the back. You looked good and got the pose perfectly- Dressing back you went back to your computer.

You kept your phone gallery opened to look at the photo, embarrassed you had to go to such lengths to do so- But money was money.

As you continued your sketch you saw a message ding and smiled- It was non other then Buggy, your close friend and truthfully your partner in crime.

Buggy Boo 🤡: U busy?

Me: Yeah I'm trying to find some references, but what's up?

Buggy Boo 🤡: NVM wanted to hang out

You smiled at this.

Me: You can still but at a price 😌

Buggy Boo 🤡: Price? 💰

Giggling you open up your text gallery. You scroll through the photos to find the McDonald's meme youd saved earlier and quickly sent it-

Me: Gotta Bring Me The Mickey D's 😩 💦

However you saw two images loading to be sent with the text. Raising a brow as you waited for it to load- However when it sent and showed you the second image you threw your device across the room.. there just below the McDonald's Meme was your nude reference photo.. You tried to panic unsend but saw he read it instantly.

Fuck FUCK FUCK!!!

Expecting a call or a WTF text of some sort but .

Silence- You didn't see him text back or anything. Fear eating you up inside as you thought the worse.. He's going to fucking hate you now- you two had just been really really good friends for years and maybe had a few drunken nights together however nothing like this!

In your panic you didn't realize how much time had passed before a knock snapped you from your thoughts.

You heard frantic knocks in your front door, surprised by the urgency of them and walked over- Opening the door your face flushed with what you saw. There was Buggy, with a shirt barely and clearly backwards, his hair down in thick waves looking wet and barely holding up his pants like he had gotten into clothes on the way to you however the 4 massive bag of McDonald's in his hand clued you in he had stopped at the restaurant right before.

"Buggy?-" You say shyly and face cherry red at seeing him in such a disheveled state- that and his boxers didn't exactly hiding him very well.

"I came over as fast as I could- I also got everything on the menu-" He said breathlessly holding up the bag and you glance to see his car parked sideways in your driveway, words seemed to leave you as you could practically see the desire in his gaze as he grinned widely.

He stepped forward and gently pushed you back into the house closing your door behind him as he quickly closed the space between you two, handing you the bag whicj you could barely hold onto.

"Gotta say, that was a welcomed surprised from you. I loved it~" He purred out, You squeaking in surprise at his words as his hands found their way to your hips.

"I have some modeling I'd like to see you do~ For art purposes of course" He said with a wink.

"Y-You actually liked those?" You manage out- Buggy laughed at this.

"Of course! It was sexy, flashy, surprising all at once. Not gonna lie if it wasn't for me needing to get the McDonald's I'd have came straight here and fucked you into the floor" He growled out in desire. You decided to not tell him you were joking about the McDonald's thing.

"In that case-" You sent the bag to the side and smiled as you felt him practically waiting for you to give the OK.

"Food can wait~"

Shanks

So bored- You thought as you laid on the couch of your boyfriends apartment. Shanks, The famed biker gang leader in your state. It was famous for his skills, the brutality of his gang and the unfortunate missing arm from a accident to save a child.

However for you he was just the love of your life- and also the one who had left 3 hours ago to do some sort of meet up with his gang which always ment leaving you behind-

Deciding to text him you open your phone to snapchat seeing he was still at the bar and sent a message.

Me: Red I'm Bored 😴

Red Head: I know Babe but I'll be home soon.

Me: It's been 3 hours 🙃

Red Head: Almost done here. I'll Bring you flowers if you're good.

You rolled your eyes- Flowers if your Good hm? You stewed for a moment before jumping up and marching to the bathroom. Maybe it was boredom or sexual frustration but you figured some teasing was in order- Deciding to take off your bottoms you poses in the mirror and snapped a quick picture. Smiling as you loaded it to send

Me: Good like this? {Image}

Prepared to hit send you stopped yourself and sgiggled... This was so stupid. Why would you do this? Rational thought clearing your heated mind and you tossed the phone on the couch to stop yourself.

"Just watch TV Jesus-" You said to yourself and plopped down. Turing in the TV but heard your phone rapidly ding, raising a brow you picked it back up and your face fell- It had sent dear God it had sent. It seemed when you tossed it the screen pressed sent by accdient.

Red Head: I'll be damned-

Red Head: Holy Shit did you just take this now?

Red Head: Baby?

Red Head: I'll be over in 10 minutes..

You saw Shanks text and you felt your face grow hot. This was not how you wanted it to happen but you weren't mad either-

In 8 minutes you heard a knock on the door and you quickly rushed over to open it. Assuming his hand was full-

He smiled at you, Holding the flowers in hand which had somehow survived his speedy ride to you.

"As promised flowers" He said with a grin and you stepped back so he could enter fully and took the flowers that were handed to you.

"Thank you" You say shyly but can't meet his gaze.

"You just love giving me a heart attack hm Love?" He purred out grabbing your chin gently to look up at him.

"I had to put away my phone so quickly cause I was at the bar with the gang" He said with a chuckle as you held the flowers close to your chest.

He leaned forward releasing your chin and began to kiss your check- His body pressing into you and you felt dizzy and warm.

"I-It was an accident" You Squeak out as Shanks layered kisses down your neck- His hand pulling you by your waist as he pulled you closer, your hand setting the flowers to whatever was closest to you as you felt warmth flutter through your body.

"Really?~ Didn't seem like one to me. As yoj said you were bored~" He said softly, you hadn't realized it but he had worked you two backwards till you felt the couch hit the back of your legs and you fell with a surprised yelp. Shanks smiling at this as he pulled away his leather jacket.

"Well let's make sure I don't leave you bored again~" He winked and lowered himself right after you.

Seems you were about to have the ride of your life~

Mihawk

You kicked off your heels with a sigh as you finally made it back to your home. Flopping on the couch with a groan- be a lawyer they said, You'll make a lot of money they said- BULLSHIT!

You were overworked, under paid and under laid- it was brutal honestly but you did like your work to some degree and you got to meet interesting people.

You hear a ding from your phone and sigh, already prepared for some client to email- But instead you were met with a text Ling saying your photos were ready.

Photos?... OH The Nude Boudoir Photos of yourself! Jumping up you quickly press the downloadable link and open it up quickly.

It had been a gift for yourself, when your confidence had been down and wanted something to make you feel beautiful and sexy. Opening up the downloaded folder you smiled, it was a bit weird to admire pictures of yourself but the photographer had done such a great job!

However you were cut off when another email rolled in- Sighing heavily as you saw it was non other then you poss and CEO of the firm Mihawk Dracule. The man was a sticklier about everything and he was just lucky he was hot or else you would have slammed a folder in his face by now-

Mihawk D: (Y/N) I need the file for Eros vs Tuller Case. Seems file did not send correctly.

You sigh, that wasn't hard and you'd already downloaded it on your phone. Attaching the document from you phone quickly you sent it-

So lucky!-

There it had been the last thing you...downloaded- wait... it hadn't been the last thing you downloaded.

Dread filled your chest as you slowly opened up your phone once again and clicked the downloaded tap- Seeing two downloaded files, slowly opening the file you sent Mihawk only to see your naked body...

You stared at your phone and screamed- Bloody. Murder

'NO NO NO NO-!!' You panicked as you literally through your phone across the livingroom.

"I'm so so fired I just sent my boss my naked photos!" You sobbed as you fell to the floor, your face as red as a tomato and you damn near cried. You hear another ding and crawl to your cracked device and took a look.

Mihawk D: Come to my office tommorow morning early. We have things to discuss.

You were dead- So very very dead... You cried that night and shot out your resume to several firms and waited for the next morning.

On cue you arrived to the firm brighf and early, having to psych yourself up before going in. You walked in to the building and up to the executive office- you half expected to see a box and a pink slip waiting for you- your head low as you stepped into your bosses office.

"Sir?.." You say softly, looking up you saw Mihawk sitting there looking through some papers- Your eyes focusing on what he was so interested in and you damn near had a heart attack. Seeing professional prints of your boudoir images on his desk and he was looking through them calmly, He glanced up at you finally seeing your wide eyes and flushed face he pointed you over to him calmly.

Slowly stepping forward you stood next to him behind the desk- Seeing the expensive professional prints of your intimate photos sprawled out.

"A-Am I fired?.." You finally asked, Your voice no better then a shaky whisper.

"No. I quite like these infact- I've had many people in my company who have tried to flirt, I was even curious when youd act.. But ive never seen one as bold as this" He said clearly amused, the humiliation burned in your chest- especially since he knew you had a crush on him.. but now you were curious why he didn't want to fire you.

He flicked back to one of the photos, one were you had worn something akin to a playbunny outfit made of lace. He tapped the imagine a bit playfully.

"I must say, This is by far my favorite out of the lot... I'd like to make a proposal to you" He said, craning his head to meet your eyes as a smirk played on his lips.

You felt your brain turn to mush.. first that he liked them and second that Mihawk Dracule was smiling- Had you died?!

"A date if you will, But I'd like to explore your skills in your modeling afterwards. Back at my home. If you're more comfortable with a written contract that is fine with me, but verbal is just as good" He stated calmly, Heat flushing your form at his words and you skittishly nodded.

"What would be the terms of this contract?" You ask shyly, Now more interested then you thought it would be. Mihawk reaching into his caot and pulled out a satin case, opening it to reveal a beautiful necklace, it was very classy looking and could truthfully be worn with anything- but you realized it was a infinity choker with a key lock in the back.

Warmth hitting your body once again asnyou realized what this represented.. A collar.

"Dates, a more personal relationship and some.. let's say recreations of these works?" He said calmly still holding his favorite one.

You thought for a moment, before running your fingers over the necklace and nodding softly.

"I agree to those terms" You say a bit playfully, Earning a smile from Mihawk. He stood up calmly and picked up the necklace, moving behind you as he carefully clasped it and locked it into place.

"Wonderful" He practically purred out and admired you for a moment. Head flooding your body once more at his golden gaze.

"I will pick you up tonight then, 8 sound good?" He asked, you agreeing and he patted your behind playfully.

"Good. Now Run along now Bunny, I still need the file for the Eros vs Tuller Case" He said amused, You nodding quickly.

"Yes Mr. Dracule" You say softly and as you stepped out a blush on your cheeks and a smile on your lips.

That went better then expected~

[jughead-is-canonically-aroace]

hi reddit refugees. you probably know about blocking tags by now, but i havent seen a post mention this:

you should probably block #long post. that is the standard format for tagging when someone reblogs a really really really long post, so that you don't have to scroll past a million miles of scooby doo taught me that the real monsters are humans memes (real post)

on mobile, opening a blocked tag post opens it in a new side thingy so if you see a #long post and open it up and it looks interesting, you just saw a cool post, but if you open it up and it's scooby doo taught me that humans are the real monsters you can just nope back onto your dash no harm no foul

desktop doesn't do this, but on desktop you have the ability to jump to the next post. press j to jump down a post and k to jump up a post

some people don't use #long post. it's definitely less common than it used to be. but some of them do. and the less scooby doo taught me that the real monsters are actually humans color of the sky posts you have to scroll past the better

[lnfours]

summer love | l.n

summary: part 2 to this request but make it ✨summer break ✨

warnings: fluff, language, all the feels, lando being 100% whipped. fem!driver x lando :,)

masterlist | part 1 | ask box

₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊

it was officially summer break, a whole month off of racing to recharge the batteries, spend time with family and friends and just do normal people things.

but all you could think about was him. it was sickening. you weren’t sure how or why, but you found yourself thinking about lando a lot more than you should. and you knew you shouldn’t, he was your teammate, but something about that day in the drivers room made your heart rate spike.

you were laying in bed, scrolling through instagram when you had come across his story. you held down the picture, examining it as you looked it over.

it was a picture of the sunset, the location tagged london, england. you furrowed an eyebrow, he spent his summer break at home? before you knew it, you were sliding up, adding a comment underneath the picture.

you’re home for summer break?

you bit down on your lower lip after you had sent it. surely he wouldn’t reply, he was probably off having a good time, enjoying his life and not thinking about you-

yea, feels good to be home. where’d you go to spend holiday?

you clicked at the top of your screen, opening the dms. you had saw the previous dms being memes you had sent one another a while back, the two of you going back and forth about who was funnier.

it was you.

actually, i’m here too 😅

you saw his icon appear at the bottom of your message before it changed to say he was typing. you tried so hard to ignore the way your stomach was doing cartwheels.

out of ALL the places you could’ve chose from, you picked london? stalker much? 🙄

you let out a soft laugh, typing back a whitty response.

you wish i was here to see you, norris 🥱 no, i’ve just never been. always been on my bucket list to come outside of racing

typing…

i do, actually. i miss you

you read it over and over again before another message appeared from him.

also, where are you staying? we can meet up, get coffee or something? i can show you around 😁

okay, now you were internally screaming. you clicked on the photo option, snapping a picture of you in your bed, adding the location of the hotel you were staying in before sending it. he opened it almost immediately, sending another picture back. he was shirtless, sunglasses resting on his nose and you noticed he had grown out his facial hair. the sun was still setting and it looked like he was on a beach.

you’re literally 15 minutes away from me. hang out with me, i’m bored ☹️

you smiled before sending another picture, this time of the tv in the hotel which was currently playing an episode of a show you had seen a million times before.

can’t, busy :/

another picture from him, this time he was in his car. he had a shirt on now, the white fabric making him look tanner, his hair messy. how could someone look so good?

too bad, i know where you are 🥰

you took a picture of yourself giving him the finger, a playful smile on your face.

ok fine, but you’re getting me food

he replied with another picture, this time of his hand on the steering wheel. the mclaren logo on the center was the star of the show, the four little lines on the bottom making an appearance.

deal, see you soon

you double tapped his photo, throwing the covers off of your legs before making your way to your suitcase. you grabbed a pair of shorts and an over size hoodie, tugging it on before fixing your hair. you opted on no makeup, slipping your sunglasses on before grabbing your bag. once you made sure you had everything, you made your way to the lobby.

in the elevator, your phone pinged.

your chariot awaits, m’lady

you rolled your eyes and smiled, typing back a response.

coming to lobby now, mr. uber driver

he double tapped your message and when you walked through the doors of the hotel, you immediately spotted him. he was waiting for you, leaning against the passenger side door. you smiled, approaching him as he smiled back at you.

“hey,” you said, the two of you reaching for a hug. he wrapped his arms around your waist, desperately trying not to hug you too tight as you slung your arms around his neck.

“hey,” he smiled back, “ready for the best tour of london you’ll ever get with your favorite guy?”

you looked around, a playful smile on your lips, “lewis is here?”

he rolled his eyes, shoving your arm softly as he chuckled, “oh, fuck off.”

you laughed back at him, letting him open the door for you. you smiled and thanked him, letting it close as he made his way to the drivers side. you took note of each little personalized detail of the car, smiling softly at how much of his personality was put into it.

“so,” he said, starting the car, “anywhere in particular you wanted to see?”

you shook your head, “no, but if you want, you could show me your favorite places.”

he nodded, pulling out of the parking lot, “i’ve got the perfect place for you.”

you couldn’t help but smile again as you looked over at him. he handed you his phone, spotify open, “play whatever you want.”

you raised an eyebrow, “whatever i want?”

he nodded, “yeah, curious to see what kind of music you listen to.”

you smirked, typing in ‘summer love’ by justin timberlake. the song boomed through the speakers and he laughed, turning it up slightly as he made his way to one of his favorite spots.

after more songs, which may or may not have included some one direction songs (which he surprisingly knew all the words to), and some small talk later, he pulled into a parking spot at the overlook. you both got out, standing in front of the car as you looked out at the view.

“wow,” you breathed, “this is stunning.”

you looked up at the sky as you finally got to see it’s beauty without any light pollution. he smiled, leaning against the car as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

“yeah,” he looked over at you, “it is.”

you looked over at him, “you’re looking at me like that again.”

he raised an eyebrow, but the smile still sat on his face as he shook his head, “no idea what you’re talking about, doll.”

your stomach did a flip and you walked in front of him, your legs between his, “how many girls have you brought here?”

he snorted, “none, only you,” he looked up at the stars now, his neck on display for you. his fluffy curls were pushed back with his sunglasses, his nose and cheeks slightly red and covered in sun freckles from being outside all day. he looked so pretty like this to you, who was still standing in front of him and god you wish you didn’t look awkward staring at him like this, “kind of a place where i come if i need to get away, just think for a little bit.”

you finally adverted your eyes back to the sky, “yeah, this would be the place to do it.”

he nodded, “so, to answer your question, none. guess that makes you special.”

you gasped, “i’m special to the lando norris?”

“don’t start,” he rolled his eyes playfully, “you’re like, P3 at best.”

“well you know what they say about being third,” you said, “they have the treasure chest.”

he chuckled again, the soft breeze of the night whisking a hair in your face. he carefully reached out and brushed it back, “actually, you get 15 points. cmon, you’re supposed to know this, y/n,”

you couldn’t wipe the smile off your face even if you tried, “you would know, huh?”

your phone buzzed in your pocket, pulling it out and reading the notification.

⚠️ time to bereal ⚠️

you clicked on it, looking up at him but he was already looking at you, “wanna be in my bereal?”

“sure,” he said and you smiled before clicking on the notification.

however when you held your arm up, you started laughing and not being able to take yourself seriously. lando laughed with you.

“hurry! take the picture or it’ll be late!” he laughed and you pulled yourself together before laughing again. you weren’t sure what it was. if it was how close he was to you or how happy you were right now, but he took the phone from you.

“jesus christ,” he laughed as he raised his arm up, pulling you in by your hip. you wrapped both arms around his neck, smiling at the camera. he turned the phone around to get the other picture, this time he turned his head towards you and you faced him with a smile. he smiled back, your hand resting on his cheek. the flash went off and he brought his arm down, but you still kept his face in your hand.

you took the phone from him, “thank you,”

“yeah,” he smiled, “anytime,”

you locked your phone, slipping it back into your pocket before looking at him again. he still had the same look on his face, almost like he was-

“i like you, y/n,” he said, “a lot.”

you smiled, heart jumping up to your throat, stomach doing flips, and you swore you were going to pass out when he placed his hand on your cheek, thumb stroking the skin, his fingers starting to move into the hair behind your ear.

“i like you too,” you said, and that was all he needed to hear before he was pulling your neck towards him, lips connecting with yours. your body felt like it was on fire as his hands moved from your face to your hips, shifting as he leaned back against the hood of the car, taking you with him as you laid on top of him.

the kiss got hot, his tongue poking out to lick at your bottom lip. at first you didn’t let him in, which made you giggle against him. but, the giggling turned into gasping the minute he tugged on your hair gently, allowing him to sneak his tongue in.

he finally broke the kiss, the both of you panting. you hadn’t realized that your hands were in his hair, it now being a mess of frizzy, beachy curls. his lips were red and puffy, pupils blown. you were so in love.

your phone buzzed in your pocket, taking it out and almost laughing at the notification. he smiled at you, but raised an eyebrow in confusion, “what? what’s funny?”

you turned your phone around to show him oscar’s comment on your bereal:

oscarpiastri81: WHAT THE FUCK??!?!

he laughed, pulling you as close as he could while you typed out a response to your teammate, “you hungry?”

you nodded, slipping your phone back into your pocket, “starving, actually.”

he nodded, taking your hand in his as you stood up, “i know a really good spot not far from your hotel, think you’ll like it.”

you smiled as he opened the door for you, you thanked him with a quick kiss on his lips, “sounds perfect.”

[decolonize-the-left]

When are we going to talk about how gen z and alpha growing up with lifelong access to tech didn't make them good with technology, it made them bad with people.

A lot of people, when Leave the World Behind was released, related to the youngest character. The daughter who's only priority and desire was to watch the Friends finale as the adults around her were crippled with anxiety about politics, current events, and the very real possibility a war was happening.

One of her most hard-hitting lines was about wanting nothing but the smallest of comforts in a world that guaranteed you none. So if she was gonna die, she was gonna die watching Friends.

She had little to no empathy for her parents or the rest world, which is key to her character's behavior throughout the movie.

"yes, okay the internet is out and there's a blackout and flamingos are in the pool in the USA, and you're terrified, but can you just please fix the TV for me?"

And yeah, I do think it was the damn phones. Because what she's doing isn't all that different from what a LOT of Americans and Gen Z are doing right now while genocides happen.

It's not that different from what a lot of us do. See something awful on our phone and at some point put the phone down like we didn't. Instead we make dinner, do laundry, go to work.

It's our routine.

But gen z and alpha were born into that climate, unlike the rest of us. They didn't grow up seeing the internet be built. They didn't grow up with friends who created forums or sites or were constantly finding new ones. All that already existed. The internet doesn't have secret corners to hide in anymore. Just shadowy ones you really shouldn't wander into.

The work that needed to be done was already done or being done by someone else. Markets and sites were already saturated. If I want to Google something right now, I know for a fact that someone already posted sources and a webpage for it, too.

So much was simply Provided to them. They're so used to the idea of Unknown Others solving problems for them.

Why would they make the effort to solve anything themselves when experience has shown they just have to Google it. Or that it probably already exists. And what difference would They make anyway?

Afterall they themselves are just another Unknown Other in someone else's life, aren't they? Someone nobody thinks about again after their avatar scrolls by.

Is it really that far of a stretch to say that doing this everyday or even just seeing it happen everyday has had material and tangible effects on us as a society?

That it's resulted in a generation of kids who not only undervalue themselves but the impact they are capable of having on their society. Who have resigned to simply Existing within the world instead of trying to thrive in it?

Can we talk about how millennials saying "the next generation will handle it" was nothing but entitlement? We wanted to stop fighting and tried to pass the torch onto a generation that hadn't even graduated high school yet.

And we made things worse by doing that. If we can refuse to fight for them, why would they fight for anyone else? And when parents hand their kids an iPad and send them off to occupy themselves why would they look for human connections?

We taught them not to.

The internet was and is the only consistent thing Gen Z and alpha has had that did not expect anything of them.

And now most of us would be content to doomscroll in the apocalypse in the name of our "mental health"

We've all seen the memes and jokes about it, don't backpedal now. Like I said, a lot of people saw Rose in that movie and made #me & #same posts.

Few would get up and try to cause the change to change anything. Which, in that movie and IRL is how change is made. Real people getting up and working together. Someone doing the work nobody else wants to because someone has to.

But what happens when you grew up thinking someone else was always gonna do it for you anyway?

And that if they didn't, that you were the least qualified because the internet is Full of people more capable than you, right?

The world is full of people more capable than you. Your phone told you that, didn't it? So there's no point in you doing anything.

Is there?

X

People need people, in case you forgot. People need you, in case you forgot.

You're not an Unknown Other in my phone. You are person, in case you forgot.

My tribe has this saying that I know is shared with other natives "be a good ancestor"

A reminder that not only are we the product of the people who came before us, but the people after us will be products of us and our choices, too. That time is linear and goes forward and that how we spend that time matters. Not just for us, but for every single person who will come after us.

A reminder that even though we may be one person in a very long line, we are never ever without the power to change our future. That we have a responsibility to our community and family to use the time we are given for good. A reminder that the life I have isnt just for me. It's for a we.

That I am not just some Unknown Other. I'm a community member, I'm a person, and as such I owe it to my community to be better and demand better for them.

I think a lot of people need that lesson.

You're not an Unknown Other that nobody thinks about. Youre a community member and I actually think about you all the time.

I think about everyone who has resigned to doomerism all the time and I wish y'all would wake up. You're like the depressed cousin on the couch who naps too much and this is me trying to snap you out of it again.

Wake up.

You're loved and valued and people need you. Get up. Be a good ancestor.

[rpreaperperson]

Hi there!!

I don't know if it me or to everyone else when it come to Claw the Neko. I literally found it overwhelming adorable and funny and I just LOVE to read more!! That and the Mom series.....

I may have an idea for Claw.... What if during the downtime with the 141 + Alejandro and Rudy and Neko want to have a cuddle in both cat and human forms depending on who she hangout with...

Hope you enjoyed the new year Nya~~

Sounds..like...a....

NOICE idea consider this is a holiday day! thank you @sliverwolf20 for the suggestion

This one will gonna be a Bonus Chapter 2

Masterlist

Off of Duty

Once upon a time....in a base where a certain cat Hybrid lazying around her room playing on her console, after getting bored of it she munched her snack while scrolling into her phone snickering when she found a funny meme or funny video

Then she take a nap....drifting into her sweet dreamland Yep...this is how she spends her day off

Suddenly her door slammed open by a certain beardy Captain, frown plastered against his face when he saw her napping on her sofa

With her cat form

Price let out an exaggerated sigh, the moment 141 got an off day the Hybrid spent her time in her room shutting herself there, while others went to spend their time with their families (Mostly Soap, and Gaz, Ghost still hanging around the base but he likes to went off somewhere)

Approaching the hybrid that was still in her dreamland, he shook her small fury body while calling out her code name

Instead of waking up she just stretches her body while purring

'Bloody hell...if she always like this in her day off...' Price glances at the pile of her snacks on the desk

"You'll gain weight if you keep doing this love..." mutter Price, then Claw's eyes snapped open jumping to Price while meowing in complaint, swiftly Price catch her small furry body with his hand

"Nyanyanyanyanaya!!" she flaunted her paws at his face

" now you awake when I say you'll gain weight huh? It's the truth love...it may be a day off but you can't spend your time lazying around like this! You haven't even left your room in days!" he rant at Claw

"Nyauuw...." her ears and tails flopped down as she glanced at her photo with 141 on her desk, narrowing his eyebrow Price followed where Claw looking at..

Then he realized..

"You miss 'em?"

Claw nodded, she even couldn’t contact Professor cause of some new experiment she was working on right now

“Oh Lovie..you know they wanted to spend their time with families too no?” Price cuddling her into his warm chest walked onto her soft sofa and sat there, caressing her soft head with his hand she licked his jaw he chuckled as he kissing her furry head

She purred even louder rubbing her head into his mutton chops, she really loved the prickles sensations

“Guess I’ll have some nap too...curse those boys..and their reports” he grunted taking off his shoes, gently Prices lay his body on Claw's sofa with Claw on his chest

“Ahh...that Professor of yours really spoil you huh? This is some good sofa” he grunted adjusting his position

“nyauww~”

“wonder where did she find this sofa..” Price murmur

“Mrrauw?” she chirps her little head looking up at him, tilting her head

“Nahh.. it's okay I’ll just ask her about it...” Price caressed her soft furry body shutting his eyes as he felt Claw purring vibrating his chest

“how do you manage to tend your tails this smooth?”

“Mrrep mrrep” her tails swirling in mischief, a Cheshire cat smirk planted on her lips

“Ahh..a secret eh..? fine by me” Slowly hearing Claw purring Price lulled into a dreamland

.

Ghost who just came back from the store bought something for Claw, and got a notification from Alejandro that he and Rudy will come to their base to spend their day off with them ...but most likely to meet Claw..

When he reach the base

“Hey there L.T!”

“Ghost”

Greet both Soap and Gaz waving at him still in their civilian clothes, bringing their bag

“thought you both on the leave?”ask Ghost cocking his eyebrows confused

“got a mail from Alejandro, he want to visit here yeah?” claim Soap

“Mmhm...gotta go bought something for Claw” he nonchalantly noded

“Ahh..right I bought ‘er something too” Soap takes out a Scotland souvenir from his bag, together they walk into her room

“How is she? Last time I saw she was sulking in her room when we departed” asked Gaz

“She still shut in her room, missed both of you” explained Ghost, they saw her door open wide Ghost slightly raised his eyebrows

“Bonnie!~ got somethin’ for – whoa..” Soap rushed into her room but he snap his mouth shut...

A warm fuzzy sight, both Claw and Price cuddling on Claw sofa

“gotta take a picture of this” amused Gaz sneakily taking his phone and taking a photo, silently scanning around her room gushing when he found the latest console in her room

“Let ‘em rest..both deserve it”claim Ghost

“Especially Cap..” Gaz put his small gift for Claw on her desk joined by Ghost and Soap, taking Claw's blanket from her bed Gaz covered both of them with the blanket scratching her little furry head with his finger

She making biscuits on Price's chest, and her purr became louder both Gaz and Soap were awed at her Ghost smiled behind his mask

“We’ll wake ‘em both when the Vaqueros come” claims Ghost then he walks out from Claw's room (not before he sneakily snaps a picture of Claw sleeping)

“Sleep tight Bonnie~” coo Soap

.

Meanwhile inside a pick up, as usual Rudy driving the pick up while Alejandro sat beside him

Then he got a notification from Gaz he send him a picture

“..? GASP!” his cheeks flushed red

“Whats wrong Ale?”

“Ay dios mio...I want to replace Price place”

“say what now?”

[comradekatara]

i do feel kind of bad for the person who made that biggest bottles post because she was far from the only person who shipped makorra and was really pissed off, loudly, on the internet for months after the lok finale aired. i remember this due to the sheer schadenfreudic glee i used to feel scrolling through people’s rants about how makorra was supposed to be endgame and korrasami was just lazy pandering to seem progressive and wasn’t even established well, unlike makorra, who were clearly perfect for each other if you only ignored the majority of books 1, 2, 3, and 4, including their many fights, fundamental incompatibility as a couple, and their pretty final breakup at the end of book 2.

but people didn’t care about any of that as long as they finally saw the fire nation guy get the water tribe girl. i mean, admittedly, mako is like a slightly more sympathetic zuko (autistic and swagless) and korra is just a slightly more powerful katara, so if you’re into that, i can see the appeal. but at the time, i had no sympathy for makorra shippers, and assumed they all just didn’t get the obvious sublime beauty of korrasami because they were being homophobic and for no other possible reason, so i derived a lot of enjoyment through witnessing their melodramatic shippers' laments.

but we really dogpiled on this one woman in particular, huh? like, her post is a meme to people who have never even seen lok. and her greatest crime was simply liking a straight ship in a show that had never before implied that they knew what gay people are. even among korrasami fans, the percentage of people who genuinely expected it to actually happen onscreen were in the vast minority. nothing like this had ever happened before in a kids’ cartoon. it wasn’t even a decade ago, but 2014 was a vastly different time, and both avatar shows had been painfully heterosexual up until that point.

i expected makorra to happen in the finale, and resigned myself to that eventuality, despite not liking them as a couple. most of us did. so that post is such a beautiful thing specifically because it documents the excitement we all experienced upon witnessing this monumental paradigm shift wherein korrasami had suddenly happened. if you weren’t there, i cannot convey the sheer joy so many of us felt, and the bitter tears of people who really wanted heteronormativity affirmed for the millionth time only further enhanced the rich flavors of our victory soup.

but this woman had no way of knowing that korrasami would happen, and she wasn't actually being intentionally homophobic. her only real crime in this post was displaying questionable taste in ships. yes, of course, we all know that she doubled down hard on her stance after the finale, but if you were being harassed by thousands on the internet for an ultimately insubstantial reason, wouldn't you double down too?

we're only a year away from that post being a decade old. i'm sure she no longer cares about being harassed online back in 2014. but i nevertheless want to clarify something: when i look back on this post today, the joy it brings me is not the joy of schadenfreude, not any more. it is a joy of celebrating the wonder in the unexpected, the poignant affirmation in a beautiful surprise that paved the way for so many other lgbt characters in media. and whether or not she likes that this is how her post has been read over the years, i am celebrating with her, not against her. no one deserves to be subjected to such vindictive mockery for such a truly negligible reason. so i wish her all the best, the author of one of my favorite posts on the entire internet. and i am popping the BIGGEST bottles.

[eggtartz]

a/n : request by @bontensbabygirl for a part two of tr characters doing this trend 🫶🏻

masterlist

characters : mikey + rindou + ran + sanzu + izana

mikey

"manjiro?"

"yes bubs?"

"can we do this one trend?"

"trend?"

"yeah it's a thing where the video goes viral and everyone does the same thing like the video"

"sounds lame"

"manjiro!" he laughed while sitting on the couch so you turned record and attempted to sit down but mikey closed his legs.

"manjiro..." you voice with a warning. you redo it and mikey happily obliged, the video perfectly done although you had to force him to wear covered shoes. "i don't think anyone would find slippers hot in thirst trapping"

"that's not the slippers fault!"

rindou

"rinnie.!!"

"oh here we go again it's like that one meme where the boyfriend is trying to relax and the hyper girlfriend keeps bugging him"

"are you saying that you hate my presence haitani?"

"fine, if you won't do it. your brother might do it with me anyways" you stomped your feet away from him but heard footsteps grow behind you. "oh c'mon now, i never said you're annoying. what is that you wanted to do baby?" you glared at him and showed him the video. "oh, anything for my baby! c'mon sit sit" he urged you to start the recording and did the trend so well. after posting the video, rindou didn't let you go from his lap and said sorry.

ran

"ran?"

"y/n?"

"ran?"

"y/n?"

"ran you're annoying"

"i love you t- wait what" he snapped his head towards your direction while you giggled at him. you the moved closer to him. you turned the camera and pressed record, ran oblivious to your activity and kept watching the tv without a single care of the world as he's watching his favorite drama.

apparently in the app, girls saw how your boyfriend manspread and went wild with it. after telling ran about it, he was PROUD. but for you, that's the first and last time you're featuring ran in your account.

sanzu

"haru wanna do this trend with me?" sanzu who just finished washing the dishes wiped his hands on his apron. "what trend is that princess?"

"it's a trend for couples on tiktok"

"oh okay may i see the trend?" you showed him the video and he scrolled through the video with the same music and nodded his head slightly. "we can do it on the chair princess let's go" you were giddy and when sanzu looked like he was ready, the camera was on. unfortunately you tried sitting between his legs but you slipped because the apron he's wearing was blocking the way. sanzu laughed at you and said sorry while taking off the apron. rubbing your butt, you pouted. "aw does it hurt come here, i'll take care of it"

did the trend the next day because you two forgotten about it.

izana

"no"

"but just once?"

"no honey"

"aw it's not like im showing your face" you tried talking to him while izana was typing away on his laptop. "it's just a 7 second video, won't disturb you after this promise" you whined at your boyfriend. izana pinched the bridge of his nose.

"fine c'mon then honey seven seconds move it, move it" he pushed the chair from the table and gestured his lap. you wasted no time and wiggled your way between his legs. after posting the video, you didn't budge from his lap and sat there. "on a second thought, this position is comfortable don't you think?" you asked while looking back at him. he looked down at you and sighed, making you giggle. you stayed there anyway, clicking sounds heard.

[rallentando1011]

Somnambulant Soulmates (rise Donnie x gn reader)

rise Donnie x gn reader

Prologue, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

Word Count: 4873

Content: movie night, fight scene, brief text messages (it was a doozy to write but still really fun!)

Chapter Artwork: Here

Waking up before noon was a chore. 

Not necessarily because you stayed up late, also not because you forgot to set an alarm, but the combination of the two made last night’s sleep enticingly prisonlike. 

You only awoke when your bedroom seemed suspiciously bright, your rest suspiciously long. Having work at noon and not wanting to miss it, you shot up in bed, frantically padding for your phone in its place beside you.

Checking the time revealed that it was a comfortable while away from when you had to be at work, not even eleven yet.

Checking your telephone also revealed numerous notifications filling up the screen.

Not that it was odd for you to wake up to a bunch of text messages, but yeah, it was.

When you opened your phone, you saw that the group chat that had been made at April’s birthday party was the culprit.

Shoot. You’d almost forgotten that it even existed. Outside of the pictures from April’s party and a few memes, not much had been sent.

That was, until last night, apparently.

You scrolled to the top of the new messages, getting to work on reading through the slew of them awaiting you.

Today 1:58 AM

Leo: so I recognize that we’re all busy people/yōkai/mutants/unspecified, but we’ve got some free time tonight if you guys would be game for a movie night?

Mikey: Yeah baby! I’m SO down!

Leo: …

Leo: we’re the ones inviting people over so this was more for everyone else, you know?

Mikey: oh. right. knew that.

Today 3:17 AM

April: I’m game! After like seven because your girl has work :))

Donnie: Aren’t you on your fifth job this week?

April: Isn’t your forehead on its fifth inch?

Raph: f

Leo: f

Mikey: f

Today 4:23 AM

Casey: HECK YEAH, I’LL BRING SNAKCS.

Casey: *SNAKCN.

Sunita: You can do it Cass

Casey: **SNACKS!!!

Sunita: It’s a yes from me btw

Casey: Your sarcasm is not appreciated, goopy one.

Casey: Junior is with me right now. I hope you find it suitable that I have invited him along.

Leo: wait, Jr’s not in here? lemme add him rq

Leo added an Unknown number

Maybe Junior: A movie night sounds great! I’m assuming we already have plans to get pizza? If not, I’ll gladly pick some up.

Mikey: You /know/ we’ve got pizza covered, baby! All you need to do is show up

Maybe Junior: Sounds great!

As you caught up on the conversation, you thought about your schedule for the day. Sure, you had work, but only until six, and you didn’t have anything the next day. Some social interaction sounded nice, even if all of the people you were hanging out with all seemed to stay up until ungodly hours.

Today 10:48 AM

You: gosh dang are all of you nocturnal?

You: also yes, I’m absolutely down for a movie night! where at?

April: Remember that one patisserie we ate at in SoHo? Just meet me outside of there and I’ll lead you the rest of the way ;)

You: bet

With that, you rolled yourself off your mattress, slapped on some jeans, a shirt, beanie, fanny pack, boots, snagged some breakfast for the road, and started off on your way to work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day at work proved drudgerous.

Thankfully, nothing terrible happened, and you didn’t have many bad interactions with customers, but it was so painfully dull. It had been insipid, realistically, since April had left, but it provided a steady pay and got you by. Such is the life of a retail worker.

The boredom you experienced at work was quickly warped into excitement as your shift ended and your walk to meet with your best pal began.

After a brisk journey, you landed in front of the patisserie that you and April had visited only a few weeks prior. You scanned the area, grinning as your eyes landed on her leaning against the brick wall by the building’s entrance. No sooner than you noticed her, she did the same with you.

“Hey!” April waved you over.

“Hey!” you responded as you walked over to her, taking in the familiar area around you. Coffee shops, hot pot stops, standard commercial buildings and advertisements galore, but not many residences.

“Hey April, where do these pals of yours live anyways?” you asked, still surveilling the nearby edifices.

“Oh. About that…” she started, and you looked at her. 

She seemed nervous, almost.

“It’s fine if they live a while away. I could use the exercise.” 

She clicked her tongue on the roof of her mouth anxiously. So it wasn’t that.

“What is it?” you asked, the smile you had slowly draining from your face.

“It’s nothing bad, just- let me show you.”

April slipped around the corner and into a dim, adjacent alley while you trailed her like a confused sheep. When she stopped abruptly and looked at the ground, you came up beside her and followed her gaze.

You started rethinking everything that had brought you to this point as you both stared down a slightly ajar manhole.

“The sewers.”

“The sewers,” she confirmed grimly.

“No, you’ve got to be kidding right now. Wherever the hidden cameras-slash-film crew are, they can come out now…”  You paused. You didn’t truly expect anyone or anything to happen, but it sure would’ve made you feel better if it did. However, after a moment filled with the distant sounds of cars and people, you met her eyes again. “We’re really going in there?”

“Yep.”

“Does it not smell like, I don’t know, sewage?”

April snorted. “Oh, no. There are measures put in place to spruce the lair up. We’re talking industrial-grade air fresheners. I helped Donnie put ‘em up years ago.”

“... So it did smell?”

“Man, just get in the sewers!”

With that impetus, you cautiously helped her kick the cover askew, then open, and tentatively placed yourself on the first rung of a ladder built in a wall. Before you continued your descent, you narrowed your eyes at your companion.

“If this is some kind of trick, I swear-”

This time April didn’t indulge you with words. One sight of her deadpan sent you carefully yet swiftly working your way down into the sewers.

Despite being underneath the ground, it was still bright enough to see in front of you, see the rungs methodically moving up as you went down. You attributed your ability to see to the light creeping in through the entrance above, so when April followed you down and worked the cover back in place, you were immediately plunged into darkness.

“Woah, it’s, uh, a bit dark down here,” you called, definitely not clinging desperately to the ladder.

“Oh, right! You’re not really used to this,” April laughed lightly.

“You could say that.”

“Here.” After a moment, a bright light shone from above you. April’s flashlight. In the now illuminated cement structure, you looked up to see her flash you a smile. You mustered up an uneasy one back at her and crept the rest of the way down.

You almost collapsed in relief at being back on solid, albeit sewer-water-dampened, ground. At least it didn’t smell like sewage, just like she had said.

April landed beside you swiftly, giving you a nudge before bounding down a tunnel. “Come on. It’s this way!”

You sighed before coming up beside her.

“Once again, I feel I just need to ask for legal purposes, this isn’t an elaborate hoax or scheme for my demise, right?”

“I promise! Look, just relax.This’ll be fun!”

“Alright.”

You two meandered through the tunnels in a comfortable silence, the only sound coming from the echoes of your steps and the constant drips of faraway water. With how many chambers you had moved through, you contemplated confirming that she knew the way, but the confidence with which she walked convinced you well enough.

Eventually, a light came into view at the end of the passageway, and you could faintly discern the sound of indistinguishable chatter.

“Right here,” April exulted, jogging up to the exit and stepping out into the light. 

You tailed her. As you drank in the scene around you, it was drastically contrary to what you would expect of a sewer dwelling.

The room had the spaciousness and height of a gothic church, though the decor was certainly less ornate. In lieu of flying buttresses or stained glass, the architecture in the lair consisted of graffitied walls, string lights and drainage pipes, which presumably led to more rooms. For an underground home, it was very bright and comely. The most notable feature of the room, however, was the huge skate ramp in the center of the room, the deck almost reaching the ceiling.

“See? Not a slaughterhouse.” April grinned.

You playfully raised a brow. “The night’s still young.”

You took to surveying the ground floor for anyone else.

Off to the side of the grand atrium stood Raph, Casey, and some kid who you’d never seen before. You could only presume him to be that ‘Junior’ character from the group chat.

Well, maybe you weren’t giving him enough credit. He wasn’t a kid, per say, as his built physique and the stubble on his chin made evident, but his bright eyes and how exuberantly he spoke to Casey accentuated his youthful appearance.

“Hey y’all!” April called as you walked over to the three.

Raph and Casey both greeted you with enthusiastic grins, Casey additionally giving you a light slug on the arm.

The new one, however, had a much more interesting reaction. His eyes widened upon seeing you, but maybe he just wasn’t expecting to see a new person. Reasonable, you supposed.

You decided to put your best foot forward, offering a hand shake and your name.

After a moment of just staring at you blankly, he blinked himself back into the present and shook your hand firmly.

“Casey Jones. Nice to see- or, meet, you,” he smiled widely.

“So you’re Casey?” you looked Cassandra mischievously. “And you’re Casey? Are you two related or is that just a coincidence?”

All ongoing conversation stopped for all of them to exchange a look.

April cleared her throat. “Well, about that-”

They proceeded to tell you the craziest story you’d heard in your life. They detailed how when, a couple years back, the Krang invaded and ransacked the city, the kid before you had been portaled from the future by older versions of your current turtle friends. The icing on top of the cake? Casey, the new one, is Cassandra’s son.

“What in the back to the future- you’re from the future?! Dude, you are from the future. That’s the most- I don’t want to say ridiculous but- it’s the wildest thing I’ve ever heard. Did you know me? Ooh, am I cool? I hope I’m cool. Also, no pressure to answer anything, just know that this is literally the most excited I’ve been all day.”

“Yeah, I knew you,” he nodded exuberantly with a bittersweet gleam in his eye. “The coolest commander I ever knew, aside from Commander O’Neil.”

“Commander?! Man, that’s wicked! Sorry if bringing this stuff up is weird or sad.”

“It’s fine,” he reassured. “It is odd seeing you, but I’ve gotten used to it. And it’s sort of nice.”

You smiled warmly at him just as the others’ conversation caught your attention. Casey mentioned something about everyone already being in the projector room, then April brought something up about getting this movie night on the road. You couldn’t agree more.

“So, should we head over there?” you proposed.

“We’ll grab the snacks and meet up with you!” Raph flashed you a toothy grin before smirking at Casey. Original Casey, not Jr. “Race you to the kitchen!”

“You’re going down, reptile!”

The two bounded off. You, April, and other Casey stood stupefied.

“Us too, future boy!” April challenged before breaking into a sprint after Raph and Casey. Casey Jr. shook his head lightheartedly before racing after them.

Just as you thought you’d be left standing like a deer in headlights until they returned, two giggling figures emerged from the sewer tunnel you’d come through, one blue, one orange.

“Hey Mikey, Leo!” you waved

“What’s up?” Leo smiled.

“Not much- woah!” you exclaimed. Mikey had already ran up to you and was currently squeezing your ribs in a tight hug.

“Hi,” he said, grinning widely.

“Hello.” You patted his back once, twice, awkwardly. “I think everyone’s either grabbing snacks or already went to the projector room, wherever that is.”

“We’ll show you the way!” Mikey was practically bouncing. “We’re gonna watch that new JJ movie! It’s a sequel to Pluto Vacation Part 77, but a prequel to Part 4,” Mikey explained exuberantly as he all but dragged you toward the projector room.

“Arguably the worst JJ movie, but let’s not delve into that right now,” Leo muttered.

“JJ?” you slanted your head.

“Jupiter Jim!” Mikey clarified. He let out an audible gasp and stopped walking when he saw you were still confused. “You don’t know Jupiter Jim! Omigosh! Wha- How? I thought I knew you!” The box turtle shook your shoulders.

“Easy, Miguel,” Leo moved Mikey’s hands off of your arms. “It’s not their fault they’re uneducated.”

Your stupefied expression soured. “I was about to thank you for coming to my defense, but I think you just made it worse.”

“Shhh, it’s alright. Don’t you fret, we’ll get you fixed up in about 800 films, reboots, and comics. Onward!” The two brothers started back up on their way to the movie.

“What? How many?” you asked, exasperated. You did not have the time nor attention span for that.

Leo and Mikey continued walking with you tagging along. The red eared slider just shrugged. “Chill, we’re not getting through all of them tonight. We’ll marathon as many as we can, though. I think the one we’re starting on works well enough chronologically.”

“I’ll take your word on it.”

You entered the projector room. The only person who was currently there was Sunita, though you almost didn’t recognize her in her yōkai form at first. You’d only seen it one other time at April’s, and you had lost your mind when she turned into a sludgy green puddle of googlyschmootz. You’d thought that she’d spontaneously combusted, but nope. That was just her insanely cool true form.

She was seated on the ground, eagerly staring at the projection of the menu screen of the Jupiter Jim movie on the wall. Behind her sat an orange, worn out sofa, and to the right of it was a gray bean bag chair.

“Sunita!” Mikey exclaimed, ran up to her, and took a seat beside her while Leo covered himself with a blanket on the couch and scrolled on his phone. “How long have you been watching the menu screen?”

“An hour,” she said nonchalantly, still not daring to take her eye off of it. “The score is just so good! I physically cannot look away.”

You squinted. “But you don’t need to look to hear the- nevermind.” You settled down in front of the bean bag, using the chair as support for your back.

Once you were seated, the sound of footsteps fastly approaching signaled the arrival of more people. 

Casey ran in first, bags of popcorn tucked under her arms, followed by April, with chips, Casey Jr., soda that certainly wouldn’t explode once it was opened, and finally Raph, arms full of candy. All of them were out of breath; you inferred they raced here like they had earlier. Casey boasting about her superior skills proved your hypothesis.

Raph muttered something about having the most to carry as he sulkily plopped down on the couch. Casey landed between him and Leo, still smiling victoriously. 

Casey Jr. set down the ticking time bomb that was the carbonated beverages he had sprinted through the lair with on the ground beside him as he took a seat by Mikey.

April clicked a couple of finger guns your way and sat beside you. She also decided to use the bean bag chair to rest against.

You were about to propose starting the movie before you realized someone was missing.

“Wait, where’s Donnie?” you whispered to April.

“Probably in his lab. Push comes to shove, we send Mikey to sucker him out of his room.”

“Is the lab here?”

“Yep. Just on the other side of the lair.”

“I might be reconsidering my whole stance on the whole ‘living in the sewers’ thing.”

April laughed lightly.

Suddenly, you felt the bean bag you two were resting against gain another commuter, the action bouncing you both.

You tipped your head back, meeting eyes with a nonchalant Donatello resting behind you.

“Personally, I recommend it. Technically not tax evasion if the government can’t find you,” he shrugged.

“It also helps that they don’t know you exist,” April jabbed lightheartedly.

“For legal reasons, I’m gonna pretend I heard none of that,” you averted your gaze jokingly, slowly tipping your head back down.

You heard your companions snicker, then joined them in their laughter. 

Soon, once Raph saw that everyone was present, he hit the buttons on the projector until the movie started playing.

While the movie opened up on, you guessed it, Pluto, snacks and drinks began to proliferate throughout the room and even eventually made their way to you three on the bean bag.

The movie was fairly obviously made on a low budget, as the shoddy camera direction and presence of a boom microphone for five minutes showed, but it was self aware about its campiness. Sure, the lore and character relationships were an absolute cluster, but it was still entertaining. Plus, the prosthetics used for the aliens looked phenomenal, and some scenes were genuinely eerie.

All in all, it was an enjoyable watch, made even more so by April’s occasional humorous comment and Donnie researching behind the scenes facts when something seemed intriguing to him.

As the credits rolled, you took a big stretch.

“That was a bit creepier than I thought a Jupiter Jim movie would be. Consider my timbers, shivered,” you admitted.

“I thought we reserved ‘shivering timbers’ for nautical excursions, same as ‘ahoy,’” Donnie commented. Man, he could really work sarcasm into any conversation. It was impressive, really.

“Hey, you can just drop it now, Don-Tron… That ship’s sailed.” Leo smirked.

“Wow. Boat puns. Stooping low today.” Donnie crossed his arms.

“Please, if we were stooping low, we’d bring up your internet history,” Mikey jumped in on the shenanigans. “But I’d much rudder keep this civil.”

“...” 

“Continuing on,” Raph changed the subject. “I guess Pluto Vacation IV makes the most logical sense?”

Donnie and April cheered. Mikey and Leo groaned. 

“Hey!” April exclaimed. “We agreed not to trash on each other’s favorites.” She then gestured to you. “Plus, they’ve never seen it, so we’re doing this. Got it?”

“Fine,” Leo and Mikey spoke unison, the former rolling his eyes as Raph placed in the DVD and started the film.

The film started, once again, with a killer score, just as Sunita had said. Maybe she had a point about not being able to peel your vision from the screen-

Suddenly, a horrendous beeping noise shrieked from right behind your head, causing you to snap your head around immediately. 

“What is that horrible- oh wait that’s me.” Donnie tapped on the tech gauntlet on his forearm and made the alarm cease. At the same time, someone paused the movie.

“What was that?” you exclaimed, cautiously uncovering your ears.

“Hmm,” the turtle hummed. “Seems like we’ve got a 2100-47 in progress.”

Somewhere in the distance, you could hear crickets chirp.

“Oh, right, no one reads the manual. Art heist, going on right now, Hudson Street.” 

You looked around the room, wondering what the heck any of that meant, but everyone else seemed determined, ready, like superheroes.

“Wait wait wait, what just happened? What was that look?” Silence met you. “Wait, you guys are trying to fight crime? Right now? Seriously?”

You looked to April, who only smirked in response.

“Dang you guys are not slash j right now,” you remarked, gaining a small laugh from the soft shell behind you. “Do I have to stay here or..?”

“I don’t think so,” April spoke up.

“There are plenty of us. What could happen?” Leo pitched in.

“Besides, in the future, you were always able to hold your own,” Casey Jr. beamed. Okay, if you had him backing you up, the guy who knew a future version of you, you couldn’t let him down.

“Alright. I’m ready. At the very least, I’ll be moral support,” you shrugged.

“That’s the spirit!” Casey shouted. “Now let’s go!”

Just like that, your peaceful movie night turned into all of you rushing through the main room of the lair, those with weapons and masks grabbing their respective tools, and climbing up to the surface.

Immediately, Raph, Casey, and Sunita began scaling the rooftops in the direction of Hudson. Leo used his blades to form an electric blue portal, leaving a tingling sensation in the air after he leapt through. Mikey took out a chained instrument and, after latching it to lampposts, swung through the night. The mechanical shell on Donnie’s back converted into a jet pack-adjacent piece of technology with a seat, allowing for him and April to whirl off in the direction of the fighting.

You stood still. You had nary a clue what to do or where to go or- just about anything, really.

You looked over at the only person still beside you and wondered how Casey Jr. planned to get over there.

He looked back at you brightly and stepped beside you.

“Hold on!” Before you could question why, the youth revealed a grappling hook-esque contraption on his wrist, tucked the other arm around you, aimed at a lamppost, and sent you two soaring through the air.

You instinctively clung to the poor lad, who was somehow managing his own and your weight. The wind lashed at your face harshly as you dipped and soared, swinging off of every suitable lamppost or rooftop you passed.

As soon as you started to feel ill, you two landed on solid ground in an alleyway. However, the dread from that was quickly replaced by what you saw there.

Numerous goons were there, some loading crates of presumably stolen items into a large vehicle. The others were already engaged in fighting off your friends.

Their faces seemed unnatural, borderline demonic, and the fact that all of the creatures  had the same exact face did not make it any less uncanny.

The Caseys and April were steadily beating them down with hockey sticks and a baseball bat respectively. Raph and Sunita had seemed to head straight for the truck to salvage the stolen art. Donnie, Leo, and Mikey appeared to be pure agents of chaos, distracting and fighting goons with any means necessary.

“Standard goons. We’ve so got this.” Leo confidently utilized his blades, trapping one of the enemy in particular in a loop of falling infinitely to dizzy them. You weren’t so sure. There were a lot of them, and you were almost getting taken out by your own side.

“Heads up!”

You barely had time to duck out of the way of Mikey’s weapon, a ball attached to chains that were literally on fire, as it whipped just over your head.

“Heads down would be more appropriate!” you called.

You stumbled forward in an attempt to catch your balance. You were barely able to prevent yourself from falling, but you managed to stay upright. No sooner than you steadied yourself, a low hum emitted from the space right in front of you. The air vibrated tensely; it reminded you of how Leo’s portal felt earlier, but that turtle in particular was already busy behind you.

Just as everything clicked in your brain, another portal tore through the air in front of you. This one was colossal, filling up the entire alleyway in its amber glow.

Your breath quickened as you cumbersomely took one step back, then another. Your wide eyes remained transfixed on the gateway in front of you.

Out of the otherworldly portal emerged a ginormous spider, about as tall as the portal itself, four legs acting as legs, the others similar to arms. Well, as similar as spindly spider limbs can be to arms. The arachnid’s six glowing red eyes bore deeply into yours, her jagged teeth curled delightfully into a wicked grin.

Perspiration permeated every pore of your being. Every limb went stiff, each muscle rendered taut. You probably would have screamed if not for fear of bile rising up your throat instead.

“Big Mama…”

“Oh, what a delectable surprise!” Big Mama delighted, her uppity, whimsical tone in such stark contrast with her imposing demeanor. “So many turtle-y boos, and- oh, this is pos-a-bubbly splendiferous!”

Her eyes narrowed in on you, but she didn’t take any action. She simply surveyed you, then the damage her lackeys had taken so far, then what all had been recovered, before they fell back on you.

“Come now, my minions!” The spider ordered coolly, almost excitedly. “We have far more pertinent prerogatives.”

Obediently, immediately, the identical servants ceased their fighting with everyone and filed through the portal behind Big Mama.

With one last nefarious smirk, she disappeared just as she had emerged: in a flash of auburn light.

All of you stood tensely. No one so much as breathed as if an action as insignificant as that would somehow summon the gargantuan spider and her lackeys again.

“So…” Leo’s lighthearted timbre cut through the atmosphere, “who’s up for Part 79?”

“Leo, not the time!” Raph corrected, and the two started to squabble.

“I think I’m gonna call it a night,” you said shakily.

“You okay?” April placed a hand on your shoulder

“Yeah. I’m all good! Just had enough excitement,” you shrugged coolly out of her touch, hoping that you were concealing your panic better than you thought you were. “I’m right around the corner so I can just walk over-”

“I could walk with you.”

You paused, looked at who had said that. Donnie. You tilted your head at him, fairly certain that everyone else was just as perplexed.

He retracted about as much as he could into his shell at the attention. “For safety, of course. Because, you know, that was a really oddly timed exit and they could be waiting nearby and-”

“I get it, I get it,” you reassured, sparing him from digging a deeper grave. “I’ll gladly take the escort.” You turned to address the rest of the bunch. “Thank you very much for having me over, guys, it’s been real. A-A little too real, maybe, but fun either way. Goodnight, gang!”

You waved goodbyes and exited the alleyway, a purple-clad turtle in tow. You walked silently, still hardly processing what you had just witnessed. His presence was still pleasant, even if no words were exchanged.

Only when you were about a block away from your home did you speak. “So, do you guys experience stuff like that all the time or is the physical embodiment of arachnophobia a special occurrence?”

“Yeah, that was pretty much the usual, but Big Mama’s just about the worst of them. It used to be Baron Draxum, the warrior-alchemist-sheep man who made us, but he’s been rehabilitated.”

“Pardon? Your dad’s a sheep man?”

“No, my dad’s actually a rat. Draxum’s just my creator, father at best.”

“Oh, okay.” You nodded along as if you grasped any of that. But if he was a turtle, then how would a rat or a sheep- oh, you were reading into it too much. It didn’t matter though, as you had already arrived in front of your complex. You walked up to the porch and turned toward him.

“Thanks for walking me back. I appreciate it.”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t mention it.”

You two paused. Were you supposed to walk away? Have more conversation?

After a moment of just looking at him, you gave him a small salute. “I’ll see you around, ‘Tello-”

“Wait!” he said before speaking more quietly. “I made a prototype of the technology I told you about at the library, if you want to come over and check it out sometime?”

“Oh, would I?” you beamed. “That sounds wonderful. I’m free tomorrow morning, if that works for you?”

“Y-Yeah, tomorrow’s great.” He smiled brightly back. “Great!”

“Does eleven sound good?”

“Eleven works.”

“Cool.”

“Cool.” He clicked his tongue, rocked back and forth on his heels.

“I’ll see you then.” You did finger guns, internally cursing yourself for it.

“I bid you adieu.”

“Right back at you. Goodnight!”

“Goodnight.” He finally made his way off the porch before shooting off into the sky with his battle shell, and you could finally head up to your place.

That was quite possibly the most awkward farewell you’d ever had. Very sweet, yes, but awkward nonetheless.

At the very least, you’d made it home in one piece. You couldn’t wait to see him- you meant, see his invention tomorrow.

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