#but these are like the ones that I loved till the very last spray

[limi-strology]

Quick astrology question

Drop your sun, venus and rising signs and your favorite 3-5 perfumes (if not specific perfumes, what kind of scents do you gravitate towards?), I'm curious about it.

I'll start: Taurus sun, Aries venus and Leo rising

My favorite perfumes are:

Prada Candy

Gucci Bloom

Angel Nova

YSL Black Opium Extreme

Victoria Secret Noir Tease

If we're generally talking about scents, I love the smell of books, candles with a woody or musky base, paint and food being cooked (okay, these are just my Taurus sun talking 😅)

[rafesslxt]

Love Potion ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ | Mattheo Riddle

summary: y/n thought she would smell something different while making Amortentia

warning: enemyxlover vibes, cursing, mattheo blushing for a second

note: shorter than usual but got this idea and had to write ( obviously there are other imagines like this so no not a new original idea i mean )

Together with my friends Harry, Ron and Hermione I walked to out next class potions. This year Professor Slughorn was teaching us and I really enjoyed what we learned so far.

Today we shared class with slytherin. Everyone got in and sat down, waiting for Professor to start.

" Good evening everyone, today you are going to learn how to make a love potion. The strongest to be exact. It is called Amortentia."

All the girl started giggling but I was distracted by a strong scent, something like mens cologne.

" Who can tell me something about it? " Professor Slughorn asked. Hermione‘s hand shot up into the air. " Yes, Miss Granger."

" Amortentia is the most powerful love potion in the world. It is distinctive for its mother-of-pearl sheen, and steam rises from the potion in spirals. Also Amortentia smells different to each person, according to what -"

" Yes yes yes Miss Granger, 10 points for gryffindor. And the rest of the students should figure the last point out by themselves, right?" Hermione nodded and looked at the example in front of her.

" All the ingredients are on your tables, you can either partner up or do the potion on your own. You have time till 10 minuten before the class ends. Have fun!" He clapped into his hands and everybody started.

Ron and Harry decided to do the potion on their own while Hermione and I decided to team up. It went really well until my nose was filled with this strong scent again. I looked around and the only person walking behind me was Riddle. I rolled my eyes at the thought of having his cologne in my nose.

" What is it with you? You seem so tense since we started class." Hermione asked while stirring the potion. " I have Riddles fucking strong cologne in my nose. This guy needs to start using less of it."

She knew about my hate towards him and everything he does. But I didn‘t started it, he did and I was never one to back down. So we tried to get on each other‘s nerves on every opportunity.

"Oops." i heard and felt a shoulder bumping into my side, almost knocking the potion over. I turned my back and saw Mattheo. " Wow, really mature. But what did I expect from you huh?" i snickered and turned back.

As everyone got ready, Professor Slughorn walked around the class and looked at eachs Amortentia.

" Very good ladys. May I take this for an example?" Hermione nodded proudly and we watched him putting it on the table in front of all of us.

" You all did a great job. Now I want you all to take a deep breath trough your nose and smell the potion in front of you." Everyone did as he said but again I couldn‘t smell anything but that stupid cologne.

"Y/n, why don‘t you tell me what you smell?" Professor Slughorn asked you smiling, pointing at the potion you and Hermione made. " I would love to professor, but I can only smell Mr. Riddle‘s cologne cause he apparently doesn‘t know when to stop spraying."

I gave Mattheo a dirty look but got confused really fast due to his confused look. What? No barking back?

" I don‘t wear any today, I rushed out of my common room cause I overslept." My eyebrows drew together, I didn‘t really understand why I would smell his cologne all class.

" Maybe If you take a step closer to the potion you can concentrate on the single ingredient you smell." Professor Slughorn suggested.

I did as he said and took a deep breath in again. " Um, I smell Sandlwood, bergamot and something like the deep ocean.. sea salt maybe."

I was in some kind of trance while smelling it. It was lovely, i felt so light and some goosebumbs formed on my body.

I looked up seeing Hermionie smiling. " What?" I whsipered. " Miss Granger, could you tell us the last fact for the Amortentia ?" Mr. Slughorn asked her.

" Amortentia smells different to each person, according to what attracts them." Attracts them? No no no..

I look at Mattheo, who‘s already smiling from head to toe. " Very good Miss Granger, now have a good day! And remember: Amortentia is a very dangerous potion! You should never underestimate it!"

We packed our stuff and left the class. " So what was that all about y/n? Smelling Mattheo? I mean do you really have a crush on that doucheba-" Ron startet but got interrupted shorty after " Yeah y/n, you have a little crush huh?“ Mattheo swung his arm around me, taking me away from my friends.

"What the fuck are you doing?" We rounded a corner and he stopped. " No playing around anymore little princess. Was that supposed to be a joke ?" I hope so too. " Because I smelled your fucking perfume the whole time too!"

" You - You did what?" I almost whispered, my hand flying onto my mouth. " I smelled you the whole time. Vanilla and something like strawberry.. fuck I wanted to devour you so bad." He came closer, pressing me against a wall, his chest against mine. "Tell me you don‘t feel the same, tell me I can go fuck myself and tell me to get my hands off of you."

I couldn‘t. He was right, I wanted to tell him to fuck off and to not touch me, but I simply couldn‘t. " Y/n.." he whsipered my name, coming closer with his face. Then it hit me, it has to be a joke.

I started laughing which he just answered with a confused look. " It is a joke right? You try to fuck with my head because I said I smelled you while smelling the potion. I smelled your cologne not you. Somebody else could wear it too."

" I‘m not joking y/n." " Prove it."

And from one second to another, my whole life changed. He took my face in his hands and pressed his lips again mine. Hard at first but the kiss got softer and passionate. I slowly kissed him back, putting my hands on his chest. He let my face go and put his hands on my hips, squeezing them a little bit.

Out of breath I broke the kiss, his lips red and swollen, smirking. "So you don‘t hate me huh?" I grinned. "Oh shut up." He smiled back at me and kissed me again.

—

hope you had fun reading 🫶🏻

Masterlist

xoxo sarah

[jellyfiishatr]

Being friends with them!!

a/n : just some friendly hang out sessions with the great spider four >_<★!!

☆☆☆

Characters : Miles Morales / Gwen Stacy / Pavitr Prabhakar / Hobie Brown

content : headcanon / fluff / platonic / pure silliness

☆☆☆

Miles Morales!! (Small Ganke mention!!)

☆ study sessions with these two ofcourse

☆ ^and by study sessions I mean Miles is doing work and Ganke's been done and has been playing videos games since you came over to their dorm

☆ Miles asks for help with English, and you ask for help with whatever you're missing

☆ if not study sesh, then definitely out and about spray painting a new wall

☆ ^I can imagine late night talks with him after he's finished a piece are very heart to heart, he loves to speak his mind to you and hopes you do aswell

☆ I can imagine you meeting his parents are a little nerve wracking since he's mentioned that they didn't like ganke or Gwen

☆ so you tried to be as respectful and kind to them as you possibly could (probably also kissing up to them idk I would too)

☆ if you also do art, you guys compare drawings and give eachother advice on what you need to work on

☆ ^definitely the type to steal your notes and draw in them during class

☆ ^will also steal said notes for a week and forger he has them till your banging on his door in the middle of the night before your assignments due and those notes are very much important to you

Gwen stacy!!

☆ it took a long time for her to actually consider you a friend, a lot of the time you just stayed following her and talking

☆ ^anything you said in those few months prior to her considering you a friend, went through one ear and out the other

☆ She's definitely a teaser, making fun of you in a friendly manner

☆ movie night, or weekly sleepovers at one another's house is a must with her

☆ ^she says she's into horror/action but is really into romcoms, she won't admit that outloud though

☆ I feel like she's really bad at cooking so teaching her how better her cooking skills has definitely happened once or twice

☆ ^she loves when you make her lunches, she usually buys you lunch for the next two days in return

☆ when she's playing the drums you usually sit right outside her window with headphones because she's likes to have her room shut off

☆ ^but she still wants to hang out so she makes you wait outside for about an hour till she's done and has you back inside for dinner

Pavitr Prabhakar!!

☆ Study sessions pt2!

☆ he's a straight A, top of the class student. He doesn't really need to do homework because he does it in class

☆ he does help you with yours though, especially if you're failing

☆ early morning walks, he's an early bird and makes you walk with him because "It's good for the mind!"

☆ if you're not an earlybird, you're grumbling the entire walk about how it's a "weekend" and how "you do this everyday pavitr" and how "you need to stop making me do this"

☆ he doesn't understand whatever you're trying to say and pushes you lightly the rest of the walk (that last part definitelywasnt written by pavitr, no definitely not)

☆ he loves to rant about his girlfriend, talking about how they sneaked out and went on a late night walk that week

☆ if you have an s/o you're definitely talking about them with pavitr, telling him all about them

☆ he's definitely a dog person, he always has a dog following him no matter what

☆ you guys are walking to school? There's a dog right behind you. Hanging out at his house? There's a dog right outside his bedroom window. LITERALLY IN SCHOOL?? A DOG HAS WALKED IN DURING THE MIDDLE OF CLASS AND SAT DOWN NEXT TO HIM WHILE THE TEACHER WAS AWAY

☆ ^everyone think he just has some sort of dog treats on him always but it's really from just recognizing his face from him always feeding them, such a sweetheart

Hobie Brown!!

☆ draws on your hand a lot

☆ ^you always have faded sharpie on you no matter what because of him

☆ you tease him for his accent constantly, saying "pip pip cheerio," or "ello luv." In the most horrible accent ever

☆ You have to go to protests or big government events with him, whether you're political or not he's dragging you along

☆ Always has little trinkets for you everytime you hang out

☆ hang outs in an abandoned building are a daily thing

☆ ^he's probably made you carry a big couch for him to put in a new hang out spot because he said he "knew a place."

☆ he did infact know a place

☆ the playlist guy, he's the one with fire songs to hype everyone up at rallies/protests

☆ knows how to design, outfits, or banners whatever. He knows how to do it right

☆ you'll always have heart to heart conversations with him, early in the morning, mid-day, or late at night

☆ if you ever bring up the topic, "you think we're friends in another universe?" He just looks at you and nods (I've mentioned this before in my hobie hcs)

☆☆☆

[russellsppttemplates]

Papa loves you so much, princess (Mick Schumacher)

Mick and Y/N find out their family is growing

Note: english is not my first language. this is another long piece that I hope you enjoy! I have been talking about this since January, so this is ver long overdue!

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions reader's period and pregnancy

Getting up from the bed, you were fortunately quick enough to reach the bathroom in time to pour your guts out on the toilet, leaning on the toilet's side to support your torso. You were already up by the time Mick walked inside the bathroom, his sleepy expression with some traces of concern, "I told you I shouldn't have had that last piece of dessert", you pointed your finger at him through the mirror while you splashed your face, "you kept looking at it like you were a dog that was abandoned on the road, and then when I asked if you wanted my piece, I swear I saw happy tears in your eyes", your husband teased you, rubbing your back in a comforting manner, "do you want me to get you anything?", he asked, "just some cuddles in bed should do the trick", you muttered, allowing him to carry you back to the bed for a few more hours of hopefully uninterrupted sleep.

.

After leaving work, you stopped by the grocery store since you and Mick had noticed you were running low and running out of a few items at home, "we just had a snack break and the next part of the meeting should be the last one, I'm sorry I'm not helping you", he said over the phone while you browsed the aisles, "it's okay, handsome. You can still help me out here, though. I'm the cleaning section and I already have dish soap and the spray for the wooden cabinets, anything else?", you asked, earning a negative answer from him, "no, that's all I think. Next is the bathroom one, right? We are running low on toilet paper, and I used the last plaster yesterday. You only had one box of tampons in the cabinet so given that you are about to have your period, see if you need more of them", he pointed out, grabbing your attention to the matter. It should have started by now, you checked the date on your watch. And you were never late.

"We also need those tissues you keep on your bedside table, I used some today and I noticed they were the last ones", you could hear the smile on his voice, "alright, bub. I'll see you at home, have a good meeting!", you dialed off, grabbing the things he mentioned before looking at the pharmacy section.

You were never late, so it had to be this, right? Barring any other health situations, all of your symptoms aligned with pregnancy symptoms: you had been nauseous, feeling sick (and maybe it wasn't the stolen dessert's fault), you kept falling asleep whenever you rested on the sofa at home and Corinna had complimented the way one of your summer dresses fitted you, claiming that the neckline looked beautiful on you. And you and Mick had been trying, not with a whole calendar but rather just not using protection and seeing where it led you, and maybe this was it. Grabbing two boxes for the sake of it, you put them in your shopping trolley before heading to the till to pay for everything so you could go home.

When Mick got home, dinner was already on the table while you also fed Angie her own dinner, his kiss on your forehead coming with an apology for having arrived just in time for it, "no need to apologise, myself and miss Angie kept ourselves busy", you petted her soft fur before heading to wash your hands, joining Mick at the table and enjoying the meal.

"Does it taste okay to you?", you asked Mick, the taste of the broccoli seemingly off to you, "yes, tastes like this dish always tastes. It's very good, why do you ask?", he questioned, "I don't know, tastes funny to me", you mumbled, using your fork and knife to push the green vegetable to the edge of your plate, "maybe you got a bad one", he noted. That was another symptom, you thought, remembering when one of your friends couldn't eat her favourite meal while she was pregnant because she claimed it tasted different.

"Actually, I've been having a few symptoms, and they are all compatible with-", you were interrupted by your husband, "pregnancy", he smiled, seeing your brushed and stunned face, "I've noticed them too. You haven't told me you are craving your usual sweets when you're on your period, your boobs look even more amazing but the moment I so much as graze my finger in the skin you hiss because of the pain, you're not one to take naps during the day but the moment your head hits the pillow you're out like a light, and it's not common for you to have a bad stomach", he reasoned, making you blush even harder, "Why didn't you say something though?", you asked softly.

Mick shrugged his shoulders, "I just didn't want to burden you, or maybe I was keeping my hopes up and I didn't want to ruin yours, or point out something about your body like that, I'd never want to do so in a way that could be harmful", he answered apologetically, making your get up and go sit on his lap, "you could've said something, I wouldn't be offended, I think anyway, apparently pregnant women get mood swings so I can't speak for sure", you shrugged your shoulders, "truth is, I got some pregnancy tests at the store today because I also thought the same thing, but I wanted to do them with you", you looked at him, "but I don't know how to deal with this hope, like, I could just have some bug, but it is also true that everything checks out...", you fiddled and played with his fingers, "we take it step by step, if you'd like", your husband began softly, "and if you're not pregnant, we can keep trying", he explained, grabbing your hand once you nodded, heading to the bathroom so you could do the tests.

The plastic sticks were on the counter, Angie lying on the bathroom floor while Mick sat on the edge of the tub wirh you on his lap, "just a little bit more, liebling", he kissed the side of your head, "I'm sorry", you whispered, gaining his questioning look, "if I'm not pregnant, I got both of our hopes up for nothing", you explained, feeling his fingers lift your chin up to look into his eyes, "no need to apoligise, liebling. We just keep trying, it's not like we mind trying", he winked, looking at his watch to see the time was up, "I'm ready when you are", he said soflty.

You got up, picking up the sticks and seeing that both of them had the same information, "it won't be trying for a baby, but I've heard that sex while you're pregnant is a whole another level of sensations", you smiled at Mick, showing him the positive results.

"We're having a baby?", Mick mumbled, still not sure if he had grasped what you said in the right way, "we are, baby Schumacher is going to be here in nine months", you cried out, smiling as Mick cuddled you, his arms circling your before spinning you, "Angie! You're going to be a big sister!", Mick said once he put you down.

.

"I remember reading about these old wives' that help you guess the gender of the baby, and your grandmother did some on me for both of you and they turned out pretty accurate, I think", Corinna said as she sat in the outdoor sofa in front of you.

Since Gina was visiting, you and Mick decided to invite her and Corinna to spend the day together, Angie sitting next to her auntie while you sat next to Mick, "Oh, that would be fun!", Gina said as she straightened her back, picking up her phone so she could look them up on the Internet while Corinna started with the ones she knew, "they say that if you have a pointed belly towards the front, it means you're having a boy, and if you have a rounder bump and wider hips, it means it's a baby girl", she said, seeing Mick quickly ask for you consent before he helped you stand as he lifted your t-shirt, "what do we think? Pointy or not so much?", you did a turn around yourself, "I think it's rounder", Mick said earning a nod from his mother, "me too", Gina said, "but I've always had wider and rounder hips", you tried to reason as Gina wrote girl and a stick next to it to help count.

"The next one was that sweet cravings were sign of a baby girl, and salty cravings were sign of a baby boy", and Mick wiped the smug smile off his face, "I've been eating a lot of savoury stuff", you nudged your husband while his sister wrote down the tie.

Gina opened the lunar calendar on her phone while the four of you looked at all the details they asked for, "it's a girl according to this one!", Mick yelled way too close to your ear, "another point for babygirl then", you said, cuddling back to his side and giggling at everyone's exciting.

You saw and tested a couple more and, without realising it, you tried the last one without noticing it was the last, only for it to make another tie between babyboy and babygirl, "so that's it?", Mick said, not expecting it to turn out like this, "you just have to wait and see, you know, like all the people do because you can know for sure on the ultrasound", Gina teased him.

.

Once you got to the OB/GYN, Mick offered to go get you checked in at the desk while you went to find a comfortable chair to sit in while you waited, "final bet: are they a baby boy or a baby girl?", Mick said once he sat down with you, his hand holding yours to calm down your nervous thoughts. The ultrasounds always made you nervous, always wondering if everything was alright and as it should be, so having Mick there to support you and distract you was appreciated, "I think they're a baby boy, and he looks like his papa", you cradled his cheek on your palm, "I think they're a baby girl, and she has your kindness and empathy. It's just my gut feeling", he smiled, kissing the top of your head while he moved your conjointed hands to rest on your bump, feeling the baby kick, "not my chubby cheeks?", you playfully gasped, "what can I say? I think the Schumacher genes are much too strong", he teased you, looking up to the door when your name was called.

Entering the room and greeting your doctor, she asked you a couple of questions before asking you to lay on the little bed, the gel cold on your bump as she moved the wand around, "okay, everything looks good, strong heartbeat for little one and mother as well", she smiled, "I can see it. Do you still want to know?", she asked one last time, earning a nod from both you and Mick, "you're going to have a baby girl, congratulations!", she announced.

Your hand squeezed Mick's, feeling him press a kiss to the top of your head as you both looked at your baby on the screen, "we're having a little girl? Liebling, it's a little girl", he said, his eyes tearing up as he kept looking at the screen. Despite having feelings and guesses about it, neither of you didn't have any preference, feeling happy just with the idea that you were carrying a combination of you and Mick, but you couldn't help but get all goddy as you imagined Mick with a little daughter, knowing she would have him wrapped around her finger from the moment she was born. Even thinking now, she has him wrapped around her finger since you both found out you were pregnant.

"She looks good, there isn't anything that looks concerning. The measurements are all within the norm, everything looks good. Congratulations, mama and papa!", she smiled, "do you want copies to take home?".

While she went to get the slightly exaggerated number of copies of baby Schumacher (Mick wanted everyone that was important in his life to have one), your husband helped you clean the skin on your bump, "are you happy?", you looked at him, not seeing any signs of uneasiness but feeling his a little bit tense, "I am, liebling", he said, "but she's going to be here soon, you know? Little one is growing so fast, I can't believe we're past the half way point", he admitted, "I just don't want to disappoint any of you", he gulped, making you craddle his face with your hands, "My love, I know you and believe me, if how everything has gone until now is any indicator, we are going to have princess treatment", you smiled softly on an attempt to calm him, "thank you for sharing this with me, though. You can always share your worries with me, Mick", you finished, kissing his lips passionately, "I love you, liebling", he kissed you back, "and you little one, papa loves you so much, princess".

[thedvilsinthedetails]

rosekiller microfic band au pt3

heyyy pt3 is here yayyy

I haven’t rlly read it thru again and I’m feeling pretty tired today so if there’s a quality dip that’s why but also we have some nice Barty POV which I find easier to write sooo balances out ig

also we have some Marlene in this one (u can thank @good-oldfashioned-lover-girl because I wasn’t gonna put her in but she loves Marls [not that I don’t] to and yk she’s the boss so 🫡🫡🫡 Marlene is in the fic and I’m actually glad bc I love her part in this)

oh also Reg is autistic in this [in my mind] so when I mention him wearing headphones it’s bc he wears headphones on public transport/often in public/during gigs to help block noise <3

oh also all the skittles have matching nail polish and little tattoos on their wrists (idk if I actually mention it here but just so u have it in ur mind)

Tags for ppl that (I think?) wanted to be tagged <3 : @depressedtheatrekiddo @blu3stars @picklerab23 @lady-stardust-incarnate @always-reading @no-names-work @y0url0verb0y @2bluetwo85 @idk-what-to-put-here-123 @weirdtinkerbellversion @lulublack90 @nikholascrow (please please do tell me if you don’t want to be tagged bc idm and obviously won’t be upset but I just don’t want to tag ppl that don’t actually want to be tagged so I’m just sort of guessing by who commented last time so um yeah)

Link to previous part

link to part one

link to next part

(Cw: lil bit of homophobia in here sorry)

***

By the time the train arrived at their station both Barty and Evan had dozed off. Arms wrapping around each other, bodies curled into one another like a jigsaw puzzle. Evan didn’t wake up as gently as he fell asleep though because he was woken by Regulus kicking his seat aggressively. Once he finally opened his eyes he turned to face him. He was wearing his headphones, big and black originally but covered in splodges of spray paint from when Barty had offered to ‘customise‘ them for Regulus. He’d pushed them back though, now that the majority of people has filtered out of the little compartment.

“Hurry up and get your stuff.”

Regulus ordered before following Pandora and Dorcas who had already left.

Evan turned and tapped Barty gently to wake him up. Then when that didn’t work he shook him till he opened his eyes with a start. 

It took Barty a moment to realise where he was but even once he did he just grumbled.

“Ev don’t make me get up, please.”

He pouted, eyes wide and dilated in some kind of cheap attempt at cuteness.

“Come on you know you have to get up baby- Barty!”

Evan gaped, realising his mistake just too late. A slip of the tongue and he’d gone and fucked everything up.

“D’you just call me baby?”

A grin spread on Barty’s face and he poked Evan gently and laughed.

“You’ve been single too long Rosier.”

“You- you’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad, baby?”

Barty winked, clicking his tongue as he got up and shuffled past Evan with a wicked smirk.

•••

Barty was going insane. 

Evan had called him baby. Baby. And fuck his reaction had been visceral. But like…in a good way? It made him want to bite down on something hard but that thing was the muscles on Evan’s arms. Or bruise something but that thing was Evan’s neck…with a hickey or two. 

Something about the way it had slipped out so naturally, so warmly. It just made Barty’s heart flutter. Made him want to grab Evan and shake the sense out of him enough to like Barty. Something along the lines of ‘kiss me, ruin me, dear God I’m begging you.’ Ah well, nothing you can’t really do about these kinds of situations except get on with it. Lying was something Barty had gotten very good at from a young age and not stopped since. Some might call it acting but those were the types of people who were just trying to convince themselves they were good and moral. Barty didn’t really care enough about that kind of stuff to bother. White lies this and how it contrasts with malicious lies that, like someone trying to section off a gradient in two. You can’t, it’s all the same monochrome blur in the end. 

Barty was lost in this little daydream when he heard Pandora roar.

“WHAT?!”

Now Pandora didn’t often roar, maybe laugh maniacally every now and then yes, but yell? Scream? That was never her type of thing. Save for some rare occasions that Barty could probably count on one hand. Pandora yelling meant it was time to stop daydreaming about Evan’s curls or Evan’s hands with their chipped green nail polish or Evan’s fucking tight t shirts. Yeah time to stop thinking about that and listen up. So he did.

“I do not intend to offend anyone by it.”

Riddle raised his hands up defensively with a cheap sleazy smile that immediately made Barty dislike him.

“I’m just saying that this venue prides itself on a distinct lack of…untoward behaviour. It’s not a massive deal, I think your lead and backup singers can use separate microphones for two nights of a six month tour. 

“What the fuck man?”

Barty stepped forward immediately hands curling into fists, Riddle was pretty short, he could definitely take him if that’s what it came to.

“Barty stop, that isn’t the right way to solve things. Come on let’s just- let’s come back later ok? See if we can talk to someone else, not this piece of shit.”

Dorcas spat out the last three words as she pulled Barty back to the group.

He was going to argue till he felt Evan put a hand on his shoulder, instead he just left Evan guide him away after the rest of the group.

“We’ll figure it out ok?”

“Fucking- Ev we can’t play there. They’re fucking homophobic.”

“Barty the O2 has been your dream since-“

“I DONT BLOODY CARE!”

“Barty shut the fuck up. I said we’ll talk about it and we will, we will figure it out but stop acting like a goddamn CHILD.”

Barty looked over at Evan who had his teeth bared, slightly wild look in his eyes. He was seething too, clearly. Just more mature than Barty.

“Ok, yeah.”

He breathed in.

“I’m sorry Ev.”

“Hey it’s alright. It’s just important the band shows a united front against this you know? We can’t split up or in fight because then, well then we all lose.”

“Yeah. Yeah you’re right Rosie. But we will do something.”

“I promise you they’re not getting away with this.”

Evan nodded. He tossed a hand over Barty’s shoulder, pulling him in just a little bit closer as they walked. Barty wasn’t complaining. 

•••

“You don’t get it Marls, we can’t just not play the O2. We’d lose way too much money off it, probably too much to be able to continue with the rest of the tour. Plus venues will think we’re unreliable and might cancel or pull out. Riddle is such a fucking dick, he only told us when we went there for a tech practice literally today.”

“Fuck yeah that’s shitty.”

Marlene was sat next to Barty on the floor of his hotel room, helping him repaint his nails. The entire band had them matching, a bright toxic green, his had started to fade though. 

“What if you just…ignore them? Do it anyway?”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s not like they can drag us off stage mid performance.”

“Not without exposing their homophobia.”

“Still…I wanna make a statement. Something big you know? Show them they can’t straight wash us.”

Marlene looked up at Barty, eyes twinkling mischievously.

“I might have an idea then.”

•••

Evan was sat in an alcove in the hotel corridor watching Regulus patiently braid and unbraid Pandora’s hair on the sofa opposite him. It calmed them both down whenever they were stressed. And Barty and Marlene, locked up together in Barty’s hotel room. Both raging homosexuals dead set on never following rules talking amongst themselves just before the biggest gig of the band’s history? Yeah that was a reason to be stressed. That’s when he heard the tell tale clump of Barty’s docs down the corridor. And he was walking with purpose.

As soon as he came into view Evan noticed the way his eyebrows were knotted together yet his eyes were glimmering with excitement. Evan had no clue what Barty was going to say next but it wasn’t that.

“Marlene thinks I should kiss you.”

Barty announced and Evan dropped his jaw, staring at him agape.

“What?”

“And I agree with her.”

“What?”

***

OK HOPE U LIKED IT

xxx BYEEEE

pt4 probs gonna come soon bc I swear this fic has a life of its own

[loveswrites]

Pumpkins Please Billy Loomis x Stu Marcher x reader

Pumpkins Please Billy x Reader x Stu

Word count: 1397

Time it Took me: 1 hours 30 mins

To my loves: It was so obvious that stu and billy would win for our celebration of 300 followers! I wrote it that same night so I've had it in my drafts for 6 days now. I was thinking if I should wait till the poll ended but we reached over 300 followers before it even did, So here you go loves! Enjoy! Thank you for the support. It makes me so happy you guys enjoy my writing as it is all I want to do in life.

Love <3

“I wanna carve a pumpkin.” You pouted.

“Why don’t we just crave someone up instead.” Billy smirked playing with the tip of his knife. 

“I already have the pumpkins at my house. You wanna carve em here or there?” Stu said dropping himself on the bed making you and Billy shake with the bed. 

“You didn’t tell me you bought pumpkins.” Billy said, narrowing his eyes at Stu.

“Do I have to tell you everything?” Stu laughed out.

“Yes.” You and Billy said in unison. 

Stu started to laugh but slowly stopped when he realized you and Billy were not joking. 

“I just thought I should have them at the house since you know it is halloween. You know our favorite holiday.” Stu said, looking in between you and Billy.

“It’s not my favorite holiday mine is-”

“Christmas.” The two boys groaned, making you smile.

“The moment September 1st came along you were running around here yelling out ‘It’s christmas!’” Billy mocked you but you could see the slight smile in his cheeks as he recalled the memory. 

“It’s a lovely holiday, what can I say?” You smiled rubbing your socks together. 

Billy stroked the sides of your waist with his knife sending a shiver down your spine. He did this often. To both you and Stu. Still would often get cut most of the time cause he'd always laugh or move too much. But you trusted Billy to never leave a mark on you and he never did. Never has. 

Billy had three favorite things. His knives. His girl. And his best friend.

“Do we have to go to school tomorrow?” You questioned as Stu rubbed your legs while he stared up at the ceiling.

“You wanna skip again? Something on your mind, pretty girl?” Stu questioned. 

“Is someone bothering you? I can handle that, you know.” Billy said with stern eyes as he watched you respond.

“No no none of that I’m fine and no ones bothering me. I just don’t want to go and talk to people you know?” You said, stressed by the thought of even being in that building. 

“When do your parents get back in town?” Billy asked, putting his knife on your nightstand after taking one last long drag against your skin that sent tingles throughout your body.

Your parents had left for a business trip so you invited your two boyfriends to keep you company because why not? They weren’t doing anything before you called anyways.

“Sometime next week. It might get extended depending on some things. They told me I could go with them as always but I wanted to stay.” You said snuggling into Billy’s side.

“I would’ve left. No school and a free trip as a replacement sounds fun right about now.” Stu said, making you smile knowing that he wouldn’t just leave. He’d make sure that you and Billy were able to come as well. No matter if he wanted to admit it or not Stu couldn’t live without Billy nor you. 

Looking up at Billy who had his eyes closed you know he couldn’t live without you or Stu also. He wouldn’t admit it but he shows his love in crazy ways. Rather that’s spray painting the sides of buildings to pulling pranks on literally anybody to actual crimes. Billy has killed for you and Stu. If someone hurt one of you two you either never saw them again or saw them in the news the next day. Same if it was reversed with Stu but Stu doesn’t really clean his tracks very well so it’s mostly just Billy. 

You wondered if loving them made you a bad person. You wondered if keeping their victims a secret made you a murder. You wondered if not feeling a drop of remorse made it seem like you have the knife in your hand. 

But at the end of the day you didn’t really care because at the end of these dark sad thoughts all you saw was Billy and Stu. The two crazy boys who were in love with you. The two boys who showed you the world and would kill anyone who got in the way of your happy fairytale. You just prayed that they wouldn’t be the one to ruin your love story. 

You woke up the next morning feeling relaxed and refreshed. This made you just up and check the time. 1:24 pm. Shit you thought I missed damn near all of school. Rubbing your eyes you noticed that your bed was empty. Where did they go? Getting out of your bed you walked downstairs. Hearing voices, you followed them to the kitchen.

“Dumbass! the butter goes first, did you not read the box?” Billy snapped hitting Stu in the back of his head with said box. 

“You didn’t say that!” Stu said, trying to defend himself as he wiped his cheek leaving some flour in its place making you smile. 

“Maybe if you looked at the box I wouldn’t have to say it!” Billy fussed back. Stu opened his mouth to say something but that's when you decided to make yourself known.

“So are you two gonna bicker all day or tell me what you're doing?” You questioned walking fully into the kitchen.

“Baking you some cookies. Again..” Stu said, making you frown your eyebrows.

“Again?” You questioned.

“Stu burned the first batch.” Billy said, rolling his eyes.

“I did not! They just cooked a little bit longer than the rest.” Stu finished.

“Burnt.” You and Billy said in unison. That was happening a lot more often than usual. 

“We just wanted to do something nice for you before you woke up.” Stu said sneezing all over the batter when he rubbed flour on his face.

“What the fuck Stu!” Billy yelled while you just turned your nose up at the fact that he just sneezed on the batter.

“It’s fine. I’m not hungry. Like at all. I just wanna carve pumpkins okay? That’s it.” You said shifting your eyes between Billy and Stu.

“I’ll go get the pumpkins then.” Stu said starting to move, making you and Billy scream out ‘No!’.

“No! I’ll do it,  just stay here.” Billy said, shaking his head as he walked past you but not before giving you your ‘morning kiss’.

“You keep touching me I’m gonna throw pumpkin guts all over you.” You yelled out. Stu’s elbow kept touching yours as he attempted to show you how to carve your pumpkin.

“I’m trying to help you! You're doing it all wrong, trust me I do pumpkins.” Stu stated as if he was some kind of Pumpkin master.

“You do pumpkins?” You laughed out, tightening the grip on the knife in your hand.

“Shut up if I did you’d be jealous of the pumpkin.” Stu said, rolling his eyes. 

“As if, Who wants to sleep with you?” You questioned going back to cutting your pumpkin.

“You!” Stu said laughing as if that was the funniest thing in the world.

“Only on holidays.. Billy gets Monday through friday.” You said poking your tongue out at Stu to which he leaned in and bit your tongue making you jump back squealing in surprise. 

“Good thing Halloween is coming up.” Stu grinned. 

“Billy, he bit me!” You pointed at Stu with the knife in your hand. Billy pointed down to your pumpkin that was hanging on for dear life. 

“You need help, you keep cutting it like that there's not gonna be any pumpkin left.” Billy said, smirking, making Stu laugh.

“Shut up, it's perfectly fine.” You said going back to cutting pieces of the pumpkin.

“As if.” Stu snickered, earning a handful of pumpkin guts to the face.

“Hey!” Stu yelled out. 

“That’s what you get your lucky I didn’t throw the whole pumpkin!” You yelled.

“What pumpkin?!” Stu yelled back making you gasp.

“Billy!” You yelled.

“God.” Billy said, holding his head in his hands still with the knife in his hand. All he could hear was you two fighting with each other

He was in for a long bumpy ride if he wanted to be with you two forever. But watching the two of the most important people in his life bicker made him realize that he would kill any bump in that road to make them happy.  

[koostarcandy]

Could I request welcome home kisses with Jungkook, or whoever you feeling inspired to write about! 💜

so, give me all your kisses

pairing: jungkook x chef!reader

summary: after one long, tiring month, all jungkook craves is his lover's kisses.

genre: fluff

wc: 1.4k

a/n: thanks for the request! hope it was upto your expectations ^^ if you ever find yourself requesting smth you like, please make sure to follow the guidelines!

it's been an excruciating wait.

jungkook swears the video calls and photos you send from the land of love itself doesn't do justice to your beauty. you never fail to send updates about your work, sending him random snaps of kittens and puppies in paris. he sleeps with your pillow close to his chest, counting and striking off the days on his calendar till you're in his arms.

it's been 3 weeks, 5 days and 8 hours since you've left his side, if he can recall correctly. you laugh teasingly at his math, questioning if it's right. he'll take anything you give him, even if it's blurry pictures of the eiffel tower or pixelated video calls with your pretty face.

"just 2 more days then you're here, right baby?"

"yes, koo. for the millionth time, yes. i promise i'm not changing my schedule, okay?"

jungkook pouts, slightly miffed that he can't see your face before he sleeps. "are you sure you can't switch to video call for a few seconds?" he can hear you sigh sadly, "when i get back, you can look at me all you want, my love."

he mimics your sigh and wishes you a good day at work, suddenly declaring he'll love you for the rest of his life if you bring back souvenirs. you chuckle, saying that you weren't planning on coming back if there weren't plenty of gifts to give him. he hangs up after whispered confessions of love between the both of you, sending the sweetest of "mwah's!" your way.

putting his phone on the bedside table, he rolls over to your side, burying his face deep in your pillow. it's lost your distinct scent of jasmine and cinnamon sugar but he tries reviving it with the weekly laundry washes which you claim to love the smell of. he thinks you know him all too well, promising that the pillow mist you bought him will work just fine in your absence.

groaning at his lack of will to sleep, he grabs the small silver bottle of pillow mist ("its smell reminds me of the time we went to that botanical garden, koo. it's a happy memory, so isn't it best to fall asleep happy?") and sprays the required amount on your pillow, head falling back and eyes immediately closing, the scent pleasing to his sensitive nose.

he smiles instinctively of your time in the garden, the pictures he took you posing with the millions of flowers there playing like a movie in his head. it was the last date you both had before you left for your work trip. jungkook was, after all, the one who urged you take up the workshop at this famed restaurant, claiming it would help you in your future as the greatest chef he'll ever know.

he falls asleep to the thought of you and your nimble hands making him the best food he's ever had, the same hands handing him flowers at your date and the hands which hold him close and safe at night.

"i'm coming, i'm coming! it's 5.45 in the morning, for goodness' sake!"

jungkook groans at the sound of the incessant ring of the doorbell, regretting his decision of ever installing one. all his hyungs know the pass lock to his door and he knows it isn't you because you're the one who made it. if it was the staff, they would've called him. he fixes his hair and rubs his eyes off the sleepiness, internally calming himself before he opens the door.

"excuse me but you can't ring the doorbell like this at-"

"good morning, koo!"

all of a sudden, sleep's tight hold on him has vanished. your crescent eyes and face half covered by the plushie you showed him as your sleeping companion (who he was very jealous but that's not the point) is infront of him, very much real, not blurry and not pixelated.

he flings the plushie off, hands cupping your face. if there's tears in your eyes, you both don't say a thing, instead beaming at each other with sparkly eyes.

"hello, my love," jungkook whispers shakily, trembling lips falling on yours. his hands fall to your waist, gripping you tightly. you're still in your work clothes, smelling of cheese and bread. your hands, which he dreamt of so vividly, are on his arms, quivering fingers gripping the long shirt he wore to bed.

he can hear the clear sound of glass bottles clinking against each other, probably the wine you spoke of so fondly. he doesn't care about the potential mess it may create and in all honesty, who would? he's got his favourite person in his arms, his favourite smell back in his nostrils and his favourite smile on his lips.

"you promised you wouldn't change your schedule," jungkook mumbles into the kiss, hands reaching behind you to shut the door and lean you against it. "but this is a good change, yes baby?" good would be an understatement. his feet stamp on something soft which startles jungkook just abit. he looks down at the culprit, picking it up, "ah, you," glancing back and forth at the plushie and your smiley face, flinging it off again to god knows where.

"hey! that was unbelievably expensive, you know."

"why get that when you can have the real thing, baby?"

you giggle and laugh happily, when he picks you up and spins you around, practically zooming to your shared bedroom. he places you gently on your side, hands below your head so it's laid on the pillow. your smile beams up at him, arms reaching up for him. he promptly falls on you, his limbs getting tangled with yours like it's muscle memory.

you stroke his hair just like how he likes it, the steady but slow rays from outside making it seem like there's an angel on you. "was the flight too early? you must've been so tired," jungkook says, face propped on your chest and hands untucking your shirt. you shrug and boop his nose, smiling when he scrunches it up, "i left after the last class and grabbed all the wine available at the duty free and i slept through the whole time so, no koo, i'm not that tired," you giggle amusedly.

"good. now tell me all about it!"

jungkook holds the tall bottle of wine away from him, face contouring into one of thought.

"this must be from france, am i right or- ah, it's rome, hehe"

you shake your head in amusement and spread the garlic confit on the crisp toast, "let's have breakkie, koo, we've been up too long without food."

he all but rushes to the kitchen/dining area, eyes sparkling at the sight of the food. "thank you for the food," he says in perfect fashion, teeth peeking out to have a bite. his eyebrows furrow in delight, much to your mirth. "eat up all you want, darling," you encourage, humming in delight at your simple breakfast.

jungkook brushes his fingers off of crumbs, doe eyes on you as your tales of the city of love is said from your point of view. he always wondered what he missed when you were gone, always having your pictures and videos a few clicks away. as you ramble on about some sauce and how you finally mastered on how to get it creamy, he finally gets it.

it was you.

you and your never ending chatter of your first love, food and the way your eyes light up when the topic falls on it. your expressive gestures and your gleeful laughter, which never fails to make his day. you in his clothes, a simple oversized white tshirt. you in your shared dining table, talking to him.

he doesn't waste any time to get closer to you, not caring one bit if you complain of him almost spilling your juice. he tilts your chin up so he can get his lips on yours, hand on your neck and tattooed hand curled around your waist. he vows to never let you go anywhere without him ever again, be it for work or for leisure.

you don't question him nor complain, instead wrapping your arms around him, pulling him impossibly closer. he pulls away first, combing your hair out of your face and smiling at your blissed out expression.

"let's invite our friends for dinner tonight," you suggest, "i want to show them all what i learned there."

jungkook nods, never turning down an opportunity to be proud of you. "what do we start with first?"

"well, obviously, hors d'oeuvres-"

"what did you just call me?!"

you roll your eyes at his lame albeit childish joke, smile threatening to break from your lips. he giggles at his own joke, hugging you from the back when you walk away from him. he promises to listen and learn from you, only if you give him your infamous kisses as a reward.

pt time: @armys-dna ; @joondiary ; @soobhyun ; @shatzkrinslinzki ; @highly-functioning-mitochondria ; @taegisms ; @cherishoshi

[moonlightspencie]

what i wouldn’t do to forget

Part 1 of ‘a life where we work out’

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader/Dean Winchester x Past!Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

—————————— -> DEAN’s POV <- —————————

My bed was usually a place of comfort. From the moment we moved in, it was my favorite part of having my own room at last.

Then, when she started taking up residence in that same bed almost every night from a year ago till now, it only became more special.

The sheets were covered in her scent. Even when she wasn’t there, I could lay down and know exactly what it’d feel like and smell like if she were. She was as much a part of me as my right leg was.

But, sometimes, you injure yourself.

Sometimes, you screw up and get hurt. And sometimes, instead of healing, the wound worsens. Slowly. Day-by-day you feel it getting more and more painful, and eventually, the limb needs to get severed.

So, I sat on my bed, knowing what it’d be like if she was right next to me. And it was torture.

————————— -> 24 HOURS AGO <- —————————

“Babe, you ready?” she called from outside of the door.

I glanced up, looking at the wood, imagining what she looked like on the other side. Probably wearing that old flannel of mine she loved so much. Definitely her favorite jeans.

“Yeah, just a minute,” I called back.

I finished lacing up my boots, sprayed a little of the cologne she bought me, and opened the door. She smiled at me immediately, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Hey, cutie,” she greeted softly.

I smirked. “Hi.”

She swallowed, walking alongside me until we got to the car.

Tuesday date night. Practically every single Tuesday for over a year straight we’d make sure we went on a date. There were very few exceptions to this rule, and even if we couldn’t go out, we’d still make sure we had time for each other.

It was all her brilliant idea, of course. She always made me feel wanted.

This Tuesday, though, was different. We both knew it. I saw it coming a mile away.

I’d been pulling away, and she definitely felt it. Hell, even Sam knew something was wrong. I knew how this night would end. She’d tell me she loves me. She’d kiss me, putting on a smile as if it wouldn’t be the last one we’d have. She’d manage to make it all feel okay somehow. We’d go to our rooms alone, and I’d wake up to news I wasn’t quite sure I could handle.

“Honey?” she asked softly, looking at me as I sat in the driver’s seat. “Are we getting out?”

I stared at her for a moment, then realized she wanted to go inside. The night wasn’t over yet. It had hardly started.

“Sorry, must’ve zoned out when I parked,” I said quickly, a shy smile on my face.

She smiled back softly, getting out of the car. We walked into the restaurant we loved so much, sitting at the same table we always sat at. She ordered the same thing she always ordered, and I got my usual. We shared the same stories, laughed at the same jokes, held hands over the table the same way.

It should’ve all felt the same, but it was like the first time reading about some new horror we had to take down. It was new and scary and I didn’t know what would come next. I only knew I couldn’t let it kill me.

I paid the check, taking her hand and holding her extra tight as we walked back to the car.

“I love you,” she said on the way home, still holding my hand.

We parked, lingering by the trunk. She smiled at me softly, stroking my cheek for a moment before she leaned in. She kissed me softly, just like every other sweet kiss she’d given me.

She pulled back when she felt my tears fall on her face.

“Baby,” she cooed softly, wiping a few tears away with her thumb.

I leaned into her hand, kissing the inside of her palm. When I looked back at her, tears were falling on her face now, too.

“I love you,” I managed to say, voice trembling.

I wanted to ask why, but I know she wouldn’t tell me the truth. She’d tell me it was her. She’d say she needed space. She’d do anything but make me feel like it was my fault, even though I knew it was.

She knew I loved her. I just didn’t love her enough anymore.

She left me there in the garage, a lump in my throat that I couldn’t swallow down. I don’t know how long I stayed there, but I knew I couldn’t stand it to walk past her room and hear her packing.

Eventually I got to my room. I laid down, surrounded by her smell and her presence everywhere. Her favorite mug was on my nightstand. Several pictures of us and of her were all around the room. Her perfume was on the pillows next to where I laid my head, not falling asleep until I stopped hearing her move her things out to the garage and my eyes couldn’t produce any more tears.

————————— -> PRESENT DAY <- —————————

I finally got up, not having moved since the night before. I hadn’t eaten since yesterday around the same time, and I couldn’t go any longer without trying to eat something. I was making myself sick enough without starving myself on top of it.

I stumbled into the kitchen, rummaging around for anything at all that didn’t immediately make me think of her. The problem is that everything made me think about her.

I settled on a bowl of cereal, not even bothering to sit down at the table. I was leaned over the counter, halfway done, when I heard someone come in. My heart jumped, hoping for what I knew wasn’t true.

“Hey,” Sam said, clearly spotting my swollen eyes.

“Hey,” I responded with a hoarse voice.

He walked in slowly, seemingly waiting for me to go off like I was a ticking time bomb.

“You okay?”

I opened my mouth, then stopped. There was no point in lying at this point. He knew.

“No.”

He nodded. “I’m really sorry.”

“I know, Sammy.”

He watched me for a few moments, then decided to do something neither one of us thought he’d do. He pulled me away from my cereal and hugged me. I felt my eyes welling up again, and didn’t even bother trying to stop the inevitable from happening.

“I miss her. It hasn’t even been a day, but I miss her so much.”

“I know, man,” he said, sniffling himself. “I’m gonna miss her, too.”

I nodded, not even realizing till now that he was losing her too, in a way.

No more hunting with us. No more living with us. No more bar trips. No more movie nights. No more long car rides together. No more pointless laughing in the library over too many beers.

We separated, both wiping at tears and pretending we didn’t see one another crying.

“We could…” he started, the sighed. “I know it’s not the same, but we could hang out tonight. Make a bunch of crap food and watch some stupid movie. Like when we were kids.”

I considered for a moment. I knew it’d probably be good for both of us, but I didn’t think I had it in me to be happy at all.

“I don’t know, Sam.”

“I’ll get you pie,” he offered. “And drinks.”

“Drinks wouldn’t be too bad,” I said, a humorless chuckle escaping.

“You do what you need to for the next hour, then we’ll meet in your Dean cave, alright?”

I nodded. “Okay. Thanks, man.”

He nodded along, patting me on the shoulder before heading out to get the snacks and drinks.

————————— -> READER’s POV <- —————————

I threw myself into hunting as much as possible when I left.

After being in the bunker for so long, I’d gotten used to having a place to call home. It was bizzare being endlessly on the road again, sleeping in crap motels, and being the only one to drive.

It was weird only ever being in my car.

I found myself chasing down every lead, no matter if it ended up being worthwhile. Giving up Dean meant giving up everything I’d grown accustomed to since joining the Winchesters. That was years ago.

My time with them ended much more differently than I ever expected it to.

I always thought the only way I’d separate from them is if they both died, or if I did. Even then, death didn’t exactly stick with those two often.

Now, I was back to where I was what feels like a lifetime ago. Everything had changed so much. Solo hunts were way more difficult than I remembered them being, for one.

I sat in the motel room, tears wetting my face. Less from the fact that I was forced to give myself stitches in my leg, and more the fact that I wished I could at least be home to do it. But, I had to accept that home didn’t exist for me anymore.

I left my physical home, and I left Dean. Home was pretty much out of the picture entirely now.

I sucked it up as much as I could, finished up the stitches, and bandaged myself up. I wasn’t about to let a werewolf scratch take down all the work I’d put in the past week to be independent again.

Partially because I needed to learn to depend solely on myself once more.

Partially because the issue of my non-independence over the past year or so was the culprit in all of this to begin with.

I never thought I crossed the line of complete codependency with Dean. But, when he started pulling away and pushing me away, I realized I should’ve learned to back off.

He needed space to be himself. He needed room to breathe. I wasn’t allowing him to get what he needed.

Forcing weekly date nights. Always sleeping in his bed without asking. Constantly getting him things that I liked for him, like that stupid cologne. Cluttering his space with all of my things.

I wouldn’t take a hint that I was the one who liked all of that.

And look where it got me. Alone and bleeding on a motel room bed.

I got a call, and grabbed my phone while trying hard not to jostle my leg.

“Hello?” I said after answering.

“Hey,” Sam breathed out, sounding almost relieved. “I’m sorry, I just— I was thinking about you. Wanted to make sure you were safe.”

“No, no. That’s okay. I’m— I’m fine. Hunting.”

He paused. “By yourself?”

“It’s not as bad as it seems,” I said, trying to laugh a little to calm his nerves. “Only got sliced up a little bit so far, and I took care of it.”

He said my name softly. Not quite reprimanding, but clearly nervous for me.

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” he said quietly. “Can’t help it, though.”

I fell quiet for a moment.

“How’s—” I stopped myself before I could finish that thought. “How are you?”

“Good. We’re both all good here. Just miss you a lot.”

I swallowed, fighting tears that wanted desperately to spill out of my eyes.

“I miss you too.”

“Do you think you’ll ever come back?”

My stomach dropped at that, tears fully slipping out now. I closed my eyes tight, trying to keep my voice even.

“I don’t know. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“You’re always welcome, you know? This is your home, too.”

I nodded. “Yeah. I, uh— I actually have to go now. But I’ll call you sometime, okay?”

“Oh. Okay, yeah.”

“I really do miss you.”

He sighed. “We miss you, too.”

We.

I ended the call after a short goodbye, laying back and letting the tears fall freely. They formed little pools of saltwater at my ears, and I didn’t have it in myself to stop it from happening. I finally fell asleep some time later, dreaming about green eyes and freckles.

—————————— -> DEAN’s POV <- —————————

Months went by, and not a single day passed that had gotten any easier.

Distractions came and went in the form of bottles and hunting, but neither of those ever lasted. I was never quite interested in the pretty waitresses that tried flirting any time we found ourselves at a restaurant in some little town. It felt like I’d fallen into some screwed up alternate universe. Everything was mostly the same, but something horribly wrong had happened and it left me feeling empty and confused.

I couldn’t stop it, and it only got worse as time went on. I knew what I had before it was gone, but her leaving made it so obvious that I couldn’t think of anything else.

Sam tried hard to make it bearable. He’d suggest going out, and when I didn’t want to, he’d do anything to get me out of my own head. I knew, though, that he at least still got to talk to her. I’d overheard him talking quietly on the phone when he thought I was asleep a few times, and a few times more when I’d walked past his room in the bunker. He told me she was safe to calm my nerves when I started thinking about her being on the road alone.

I knew I needed to give her space, but it still hurt knowing she was staying in touch with everyone else. I wanted to be the one to hear firsthand that she was okay.

But, she was better off without me. That’s what I had to remind myself of.

Every time I had a selfish thought, I needed to remember that she deserved a good life. I wasn’t giving that to her. I pushed her away when all she ever did was love me, all for the sake of self-sabotage. I say I didn’t love her enough, but I think my real problem is that I loved her too much.

I’d learned the hard way too many times that too much of anything ain’t a good thing.

I walked into the library, finding Sam already at a table with his laptop open.

“Hey,” he said, looking up from the screen. “I think I found a case.”

I raised my brows, walking to sit across from him.

“What’s the deal?”

“I think… it’s a djinn. Seems like it anyways. Three people have gone missing, and two turned up dead with their blood drained, but it wasn’t vamp-style.”

I sighed, thinking for a minute. I needed a new case. I had to get out of the bunker and stop sitting in my room all day and night. But I hated djinn, and they seemed to like to target me for some reason.

Sam stared, waiting for a response.

I nodded. “Alright, let’s head out.”

It was a long drive to Indiana, and by the time we reached the town everyone had gone missing in, I was ready to crash. We decided to get our sleep and start fresh in the morning by double-checking all the facts we got online.

We were certain by mid-day, and had an idea as to where the latest vic was being kept. It felt like a lucky streak, but I couldn’t help but wish that it had taken a little longer. Maybe if I found another case tonight I could convince Sam to head off right away.

We stopped off at a diner before we went to kill the son of a bitch, but I realized when we sat down that it was a huge mistake.

I looked up from my coffee, glancing around the joint as Sam talked about the plan for after lunch. Then, I saw her.

She was by herself at a little table back in the corner, giving the waitress that pretty smile of hers as she accepted a bowl of whatever she got to eat. Probably some kind of bulky salad since it was lunchtime. She’d get a cookie or a piece of pie afterwards, and leave a little smiley face on the check.

I didn’t realize I was still staring until she met my eyes, her face dropping immediately. I looked away fast, clearing my throat.

Sam stopped. “What? Did you see—”

He turned.

“Oh.”

I saw him wave out of the corner of my eye, though I couldn’t bring myself to look at her again. I stopped getting an option when I saw her stand and walk over slowly.

“Hi,” she said.

My chest tightened just hearing her voice again. I looked up, trying hard to look unaffected. It was hard when I’ve never wanted to hold her and never let go so much before. She glanced at me with a soft smile before returning to look at Sam as he asked her what she was up to.

“I’m tracking a djinn, actually,” she said slowly. “I guess you guys are probably here for the same reason, huh?”

“Yeah,” Sam confirmed. “We actually were going to go after lunch, if you wanted to come with?”

“I don’t want to intrude…”

“We’re going anyways, you might as well come with,” I said quickly before I could stop myself.

She looked at me with those wide, beautiful eyes, wetting her lips a moment. It was everything in me not the track the movement.

“Okay,” she nodded, not taking her eyes off of me.

“Okay,” I repeated, my voice nearly failing me.

She took a deep breath, finally looking away from me.

“I’ll go finish my food and then…”

“Do you want to eat with us?” Sam rushed out.

“Sam…”

“Please.”

I was looking down at my coffee again, but I knew she looked to me as a reason to stay away. I swallowed down that feeling as fast a I could.

He spoke up again. “Ours is going to be here in a minute, but we’ll eat fast.”

She sighed softly. “Alright. Let me get my stuff and let the waitress know.”

The second she was walking back to her table, I looked up at Sam. He looked back at me, still a little shaken at seeing her, too.

“I’m sorry. She’s just— She’s here.”

“I know, but did you have to make her sit with us?”

“She agreed.”

“She doesn’t want to be around me. It’s bad enough I told her to come with on the hunt.”

He sighed. “One day isn’t bad, you know? It’s been months. She seems okay.”

“I’m not,” I said, a whispered yell. “I can’t look at her hating me.”

“She doesn’t hate you.”

“How do you know that?”

“She wouldn’t have agreed to come with. She wouldn’t have come over in the first place.”

I let out a breath, dropping the subject as she walked back. I knew she wouldn’t sit next to me, but it still felt like a hit to see her sliding in the booth next to Sam instead. She gave a polite smile, and thanked the waitress as she dropped off mine and Sam’s food a few seconds later.

“How’ve you been?” Sam asked her.

“Alright. Busy,” she said, taking a bite. She covered her mouth as she continued speaking, “Hunting non-stop pretty much.”

“With anyone, or are you still by yourself?”

“Myself.”

I looked up at her as I picked around my plate, suddenly losing my appetite.

“You’ve been hunting alone?”

She simply nodded.

“You could at least call Garth. Have someone with you,” I said, trying to keep emotion out of my voice.

“I’ve been managing just fine.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but stopped myself when I saw how Sam looked at me. It wasn’t my place anymore. I nodded slowly, eating a few fries to keep my mouth full.

I struggled through lunch, my head taken up completely by her. The exact opposite of why I wanted to be out hunting all the time now in the first place.

She did her hair the same. She still wore the same perfume.

I found out that second fact by walking past her to get to the bathroom. I all but knocked some poor guy over because of it.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled as he regained his footing. “Wasn’t paying attention.”

“It’s okay,” he nodded, moving past me.

I made it to the bathroom, splashing my face with water. I knew I was shaken seeing her, but this feeling was getting worse by the second. I glanced in the mirror, suddenly feeling dizzy. I tried to move to sit on the ground, barely making it before my eyes shut.

The last thing I heard was the bathroom door opening, closing, and locking.

PART 2 ->

—————

dean winchester taglist:

@deanwithscissors @hyunjaebaby @simp4olderm3n @king-of-milf-lovers

[1moremilgram-enjoyer]

Currently obssessing over 0308 (as usual) and the way punishment/judgement is represented as fire in Fuuta's MVs and rain/water in Amane's. The parallels are driving me insane I swear.

Punishing someone else.

Being punished (I assume Fuuta is supposed to be burning here).

Like okay okay listen.

CW: Online harrassment, doxxing, child abuse, cults and indoctrination, burning and drowning.

What do these things represent in the MVs? Well, like I said, it's punishment or judgement. They're these suffocating, overpowering forces of nature which feel like they swallow you whole, right?

[Backdraft] Flames closing in, are both sides losers? Flames closing in, can’t douse this FIRE

Alight, enmeshed, their eyes closing in Dodging seems impossible Bust out, explode that counter uppercut Swallowing me whole, can’t douse this FIRE

Amane may not mention water in her lyrics, but the visuals are clear enough.

But obviously they're so so different. The fires in Bring it On and Backdraft always have human origin. It's Fuuta weilding the fire swords, it's Fuuta who uses the highly flammable spray paint. In fact, Fuuta uses the username Pazuzu, a wind demon, and wind very easily causes fires to spread and worsen (more on the Fuuta-Pazuzu connection in this post by milk-ly I highly recommend you read!). Fuuta for a long time had control of the punishment and judgement dealt out to others, he controlled the fire.

But humans don't control rain. It always comes from nature, and in Amane's eyes, from a God. It's an immutable fact of life, punishment shall come because it is ordained by a higher power.

Right? You get it?

And there's more. Because rain and water in general is a necessity. It's something humans can't live without. Even if it's unpleasant or annoying when it does rain, people should always be grateful that it does. Even if it's inescapable, it's a gift from God. It's love.

[Magic] But it’s not scary at all, because it’s love I can really think it’s great. See, isn’t it a great thing?

Please get my girl some therapy.

Okay so that's all well and good. But probably the most important difference is the aftermath.

Because for Fuuta, fire doesn't leave anything behind, but ash. It's a completely destructive force. Even if something new can take the burnt object's place (see: agricultural uses of fire), the old object is completely destroyed. It's unforgiving, nothing good can come from being burnt.

[Backdraft] An ever-victorious FIRE, burn so high 'till it becomes ash

With just one mistake and I’m out of chances Bless me, please, with one more chance

Fuuta's lives in a world where judgement is damning. Just one mistake, and you're already burning, and no one can douse the fire. That's how it's always been for him and the people he attacked. Nothing good comes from being punished, and there are no second chances.

But rain isn't like that. After the rain comes the rainbow, right? After punishment comes reform, after being judged, one can become a better version of themselves.

The thing that ties all the Purge March scenes with a rainbow is the theme of punishment, of rain. It first appears when Amane fumbles the Gozake flag, later when Amane heals the cat, then the last two images are after her victim killed the cat. It's the good following the judgement, the "improvement."

[Magic] I won’t say “I’ve had enough” Will you laugh with me and forgive me? I promise! I can only become a better girl!

I wonder why she won't say she's had enough punishment...

[The Purge March] The “It can’t be helped”, from the scum who can’t be helped That makes them doubtlessly, clearly, absolutely, unequivocally, beyond any doubt, GUILTY

Oh right! Because saying you won't be able to change after punishment is blasphemous and makes you "scum who can't be helped"! Right!

Please get my girl some therapy.

Okay, and why's all this paralleling important? Like sure it's neat, but this is all stuff that can be gathered individually from each MV, why do we gotta relate it to one another?

Well, because it makes it make so much more sense.

[Fuuta] Brat, you’re on the side who weren’t forgiven too, right? ……so why can you still stand? Don’t you can hear it too? The voices blaming us. ……I don’t have the energy to do anything like this. [Amane] It goes without saying. Because there’s something far more important than the voices of people we can’t even see. People are able to get back up again. As long as there’s something to guide them. Kajiyama Futa, by coincidence today happens to be your birthday, correct? Don’t you think it’s a good opportunity to be reborn?

Of course Fuuta wants to believe Amane! Because if her religion is right, then he does have a second chance!

Bless me, please, with one more chance

The use of "bless" here really became quite ironic huh. (Disclaimer, I don't have a good way of checking if there really is a religious implication in the original Japanese lyric and I actually think there isn't)

He's going through the punishment here, and he's reforming! He probably wouldn't dox anyone again after what happened with Killcheroy. Suddenly, his Guilty verdict isn't just an unforgiving fire which will consume him whole and leave nothing but ash. Instead, it's just a tiny bit of rain, and as long as he holds out, he can see the rainbow. If you feel like you're standing in an inferno, wouldn't you rather be in the rain instead?

I've always been worried about how Fuuta would react to a second Amane Guilty. I'm pretty sure Amane herself would only cling to her beliefs harder, because when the rain turns into a storm, the rainbow becomes even more necessary. If after all she's gone through she still believes in her faith, there is zero chance in my mind a second Guilty would help at all. The question is what the hell would Fuuta do if Amane suffers so much and the only thing she has left is her religion. The issue is that Amane's religion, given everything I talked about, seems like it would love martyrs, so if Fuuta is already starting to believe, he's only going to be... more impressed? Maybe? By Amane.

[Magic] I won’t say “I’ve had enough” Will you laugh with me and forgive me?

Yeah that line again.

And I don't know man, I really hope he doesn't end up attacking Shidou in Amane's stead, but I think it's not all that impossible. And it would also be very funny I think, a small part of me wants to see the reaction of people who voted Amane Guilty to protect Shidou if that happens.

Would Amane Innocent help? Not by itself, probably. But if Amane gets into a better mental state, it's possible Fuuta would be able to sorta start getting her to realize some of the bad parts of her cult and hopefully a Trial 3 inno on Amane would be enough to start a path to healing.

Listen, Shidou can survive a stab, and he can tell someone else how to heal the other injured prisoners. He and the others can probably come back from Shidou's injury. I don't think Amane can come back from a second Guilty if I'm honest. Given the Situation, I hope I'm wrong, but I am so so worried.

Come on Fuuta make a Timelines post asking us to inno Amane like Haruka did with Mu. Do it. I know it didn't go well last time but you know.

Anyways, Inno Amane please- take care!

[mapileonxputellas]

We're a team (Mapi Leon x Reader Part 2)

Part 1 can be found here Hope you enjoy, I'm planning on making more parts to this but any suggestions on what you want to see are more than welcome 3.7k words x I've got a request that I want to do first but this will be back Writing will be slower midweek so might not be till the end of the week x Also just a warning: I've only just started watching Barca this season so I'm not too familiar with any like past relationships or friendship groups.

Ignoring the question coming from behind you, you had to focus on the problem right now and that meant firstly getting everyone calm. “Thank you so much Sofia, I’m sorry she’s a bit unsettled.”

“No worries she only just woke up, I’m sorry for interrupting you two.” She said making her way out of the driveway. “I’ll see you next week.”

“Thank you.”

It was now or never, you knew you wouldn’t get Mapi to leave right now with the obvious questions that she would want answers to. Thankfully you had managed to quieten the cries and lull the little girl back to sleep but that just left you in silence.

“Mapi, this is Isabella, my daughter.” If her eyes couldn’t get any wider before they have now. “Look I’ll put her back to bed, if you’ll give me five minutes maybe I can answer some questions. I know this is probably very confusing right now.”

“I’ll make us both a drink.”

Usually you would just be able to transfer her back into the cot but as if to prolong the wait, you took your time knowing this would just be the beginning of opening up again. Even just watching her in her sleep brought you back down to Earth, from the little bear she had a vice grip on, to the way her bleach blonde hair sprayed out onto the mattress. Everyone who met her said she was your spitting image and you loved that, she was your mini me in every way possible. Pressing one final kiss to her forehead, you walked out the door and grabbed the monitor before heading downstairs where you found Mapi on the sofa, with what looked like two peppermint teas in front of her, her eyes following you every move as you entered the living room.

“Thank you.” You whispered taking a seat beside her but leaving enough of a gap to give her space. “I know this is probably a massive shock right now but maybe I can answer your questions now.”

“You have a daughter?”

“I do.”

“An actual daughter?”

“She looked pretty real to me.” You tried to tease but stopped when her serious face did not waver. “Sorry, I do. As I said her name is Isabella but everyone calls her Bella. She’s two and a half, her birthday is in December.”

“She looks exactly like you.” She pointed to the photo of her taken only a few weeks ago sat on the coffee table. “She’s cute.”

“Did the Mapi León just call me cute?”

“Shut up.” Finally a small smile came out as she took a small sip of her tea. “I presume you still like this from the boxes in your cupboard.”

“As much as I love coffee, this definitely helps me get to sleep.”

“So when did you find out, that you were pregnant?”

“The day after the final game of the season. I wasn’t feeling too well so I took a test and then yeah it came back positive.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone.” If you didn’t know better than you would say there was a tiny peak of jealously coming out with that last bit but you ignored it.

“I didn’t want to distract you all, the plan was to tell you all when you came back and then things just got out of control and then you all blocked me and I didn’t want to be a burden on you. In terms of the father, well more like donor, he didn’t want anything to do with it. He was just a drunken mistake on a night out but you know how much I wanted to be a mum and I knew from the moment I found out I was pregnant that I would be having the baby.”

“I’m sorry he left you like that.” She whispered taking your hand in her own, moving to fill the gap next to you so your head could lie on her shoulder and you instinctively curled into her side, her arm over your shoulder. “So who has her when you’re at training? Your parents?”

“I wish. I told them when you were at the world cup and they cut me off, said they were ashamed of me and it was either them or the baby.”

“And you chose the baby.”

“So I’ve never seen them since that day, they’ve never met Bella. They never reached out to me and I sure as hell am not reaching out to them.”

“So you thought we would all react the same way.” She joined the pieces together. “So you’ve done this all alone.”

“You were all my family and losing you all meant I lost my best friends, every time I thought about reaching out to you my mind would just stop me. I told myself that I would tell you once I gave birth but she came early and we were in hospital so again I just didn’t want to burden you all with that.”

“So who supports you both now? Who looks after Bella when you’re away?”

“I’m not quite sure yet what I’ll do when we’re away overnight but right now she goes to nursery during the week and then they knew some people I could trust when I needed someone to look after her at the weekend.”

“But other than that she’s with you?”

“Every moment of free time I have is spent with her.” You knew it was going to be hard as the footballing life doesn’t exactly match up to being a single mum but as you were always told nothing worth having is easy. “Tonight was the first night I’ve not been there when she woke up.”

“Can I see some photos?”

“Of course.” No longer was your photo library filled with photos of yourself but it was now just a mural of your daughter. “This is her when she was born.”

“She looks tiny.” Mapi almost whispered, observing the tiny baby on the screen in an incubator, taking you back to the days where she could have fit in the palm of your hand.

“She was in hospital for just over a month…” Taking her through some of the good photos you have together you took her from leaving the hospital to celebrating her first birthday to all the two Christmases you’ve spent at home. “This was just last week, she loves animals so she loved the zoo.”

“You should be so proud of yourself, by the looks of it you’ve got an amazing little girl.”

“Thank you.”

“And you know I’m not going to walk away now, neither will the girls if you decide to tell them. We’re a team and I’d love to get to know Bella.”

“I’d really like that.”

“I’m sorry as well for how I’ve treated you these past few days, I let my sadness at the whole situation just turn into anger and I shouldn’t have.”

“I think no-one’s handled the situation perfectly but hopefully we can look past that now.”

“I’d like that.”

…..

You had the weekend off before training would ramp up on Monday and in usual Saturday style the plan was to enjoy the sunny weather whilst it was still around before a movie night in bed tonight. That was the plan anyway but just as you and Bella were settled on the sofa before you got ready, engrossed in the latest animated show she loved, the doorbell rang.

“Wonder who that could be?” You said, picking her up to go and answer it. “I wonder if Sofia left something.”

“Hola.” You definitely was not expecting to open to the door and find Mapi stood on the other side, blushing as you remembered you were only in a small pink bralette and sleep shorts.

“What are you doing here?”

“I was hoping that maybe you’d allow me to spend the day with you both. If not I can go, I know I’m intruding but….”

“You’re not.” You interrupted her. “Come in.”

“Thank you.” You could see Bella’s eyes training on Mapi as you led them both through to the sofa, taking up the same seats as last night. “Bella this is my friend Mapi, do you think we can let her play with us today?”

“Play?” She asked gesturing to her toys scattered all over the floor.

“Why don’t I take her whilst you get dressed? Give mama time to shower because she smells, she’s stinky.” That was definitely your favourite sound the in the world as laughter resonated around the room from Mapi tickling her belly.

“If you’re sure?”

“I wouldn’t have offered otherwise, come on mi Bella.” It’s hard to believe there’s anything that would make your heart heavier right now than seeing the heavily tattooed, usually quite serious, woman pulling faces as she pulled the toddler from your arms. “Go.”

“Alright I’m going.” You stood up, watching as Mapi transferred herself onto the floor with Bella on her lap.

You could feel her eyes trailing on you as you walked out of the room. “Nice outfit by the way, pink suits you..”

“Shut up.”

…..

Sometimes it’s scary to think how much life can change in just 24 hours. 24 hours ago you were sat on the other side of a changing room to Mapi, not daring to even look her way and thinking she hated you. Now she was on a slide with your daughter on her lap, the two squealing as they reached the bottom before climbing back up and going again.

“Are you two ready to go back now?” You shouted over to them. “One more time and then we’re going.”

“Yes mama.”

This little park was almost your safe haven, it was just busy enough that no-one took their time to recognise either you or Mapi and you were free to play with Bella. Mapi had taken the lead today leaving you to sit on the grass and catch up with your tan, every so often looking over to find the two of them stuck into what they were doing.

“Mama, mama, mama.” Bella came squealing over once they were done, bundling into your lap. “Mapi fun.”

“Mapi’s fun?”

“Mm.” She said taking a sip of the drink Mapi had got out for her whilst she sat down next to me. “Tired.”

“You’re tired? Have a little nap now and I’ll wake you up when we get home.” It didn’t take long for the little girl to close her eyes in your lap, covering her with the spare jacket you brought as the afternoon sun begun to fade. “Thank you for today, she already loves you.”

“She’s a great little girl.” She whispered, gently running her fingers down her face. “Probably ready for her dinner though.”

“She knows Saturday night is pizza night. Would you like to join us tonight? Saturday night is always dedicated as our film night, it’s usually something silly like Frozen but you’re more than welcome to join us.”

“I’d love to but…”

“You probably already have plans, it’s fine you’ve spent the day with us today.” You quickly shut down, moving to pack things up around you whilst keeping the little girl still, embarrassed that you’d assumed she would want to spend the time with you.

“Stop, let me do that. What I was about to say is that I’d love to spend the evening with you, I just need to go home and feed Bagheera.”

“Wow she’s still going strong.”

“Still my little baby.” She confirmed. “I’ll drop you both off and then I’ll nip back and meet you back at your place if you’d like?”

So that was the plan, usually we would do the movie night in your bed but you didn’t want to make Mapi uncomfortable so you settled for the sofa downstairs as Bella took her nap. You knew this meant she would be up late tonight but the excitement of meeting someone new had definitely took its toll on her. You didn’t leave her too long though waiting until Mapi’s car had pulled up outside to bring her back downstairs.

“Guess who’s got pizza?” You heard her shout as you walked down the stairs. “So I don’t know what you two like but I went for margherita and pepperoni, can’t go wrong with a classic. Oh and a garlic bread”

“You know there’s only two adults right?” You questioned seeing the three large boxes on the table.

“Plus one little food monster.” She grinned, taking Bella from your arms. “Tell mama to go and get the drinks and then we can eat.”

“Go mama.”

“Wow already turning my daughter against me.” You teased but did so anyway, retrieving drinks for the three of you and a plate for Bella.

You were wrong about the amount of food you had as by the time you finished there were only a few crusts left, minus the ton of sauce around Bella’s mouth.

“Frozen now?” Bella asked.

“It’s Frozen time.”

“Bed?”

“You want to go to bed?” Mapi questioned the little girl on her lap. “I thought you wanted to watch Frozen?”

“She means she wants to watch it in my bed, how about we watch it down here tonight?”

“Mama bed.” She whined again and you knew she wasn’t going to stop until you went to bed.

“Is Mapi ok with that?” You questioned leaving the ball in her court.

“I’m happy with that. How about I clean up and you can go and get your pyjamas on and then we can watch the film together? Good?”

“Good.”

Bella wanted to show off her Frozen pyjamas for her new favourite person, plaiting her hair so it was just like Elsa before settling in the middle of the bed. You decided that your denim shorts weren’t exactly suitable for this and found an old sports shirt that went down to your mid-thigh for you to wear.

“Woah look at this huge bed?” Mapi teased as she walked in and found the two of you already in bed. “Can I join you two?”

“This side.” Bella pointed to the opposite side of where you were led, Mapi immediately getting under the covers. She was only in her lightweight shorts so you didn’t think she’d be too fussed about getting changed. “Ready?”

“Ready.”

You’d now watched Frozen so many times that you were certain if you were asked you could recite it line for line but Bella enjoyed explaining every single detail for Mapi, who definitely exaggerated her emotions in a cute way to seem excited by the film. By the end though the little girl was asleep between you both as you watched the credits roll.

“I shall see you on Monday then?” Mapi asked as the two of you sat up. “Thank you for today.”

“No thank you, I’ll see you at training.”

“Please think about speaking to Alexia.” She asked as we went down the stairs. “She’s just hurt and upset but she’d understand.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Thank you.” Wrapping her arm around your waist she pulled you into her chest, your head resting in the crook of her neck as you enjoyed the instant warmth you felt. You’ve secretly known for a long time that she always had this effect on you, but even after all this time you felt safe in her arms, enjoying the way her fingers traced little patterns at the bottom of your back. But just as you thought she might have felt the same way, she let go and collected all her things. “I’ll see you soon, call me if you need anything.”

“Will do.”

Leaving you with one final wink and a soft kiss pressed to your cheek she was off into the night. Of course that used to be a normal thing for you, the whole Spanish team were quite affectionate with each other and you just put it down to that but deep down you knew they weren’t waking each other up with a kiss in the morning, a kiss to say goodnight, a kiss on the forehead when you got into the changing room. Just another thing you were slowly learning to get used to again and probably shouldn’t have left your heart beating as fast as it was.

…..

Coming in on Monday you realised how hard it would be to keep this secret between you and Mapi, she no longer wanted to treat you like a stranger but she couldn’t do that without people asking questions on your secrets. Secrets which you knew couldn’t last forever.

The next piece of unravelling that secret came through Alexia, but to do that you would need Mapi’s help. Knowing that you had no way of contacting Alexia, you organised for Mapi to bring Alexia to a small café before training where you would meet her.

“Ok so I’m going to introduce you to another one of my friends today.” You explained to Bella as you got her out of the car. “Mapi’s also going to be there but I think you’ll like my other friend.”

“Mapi?”

“Yeah Mapi’s inside.”

Your plan was to slowly talk yourself up to doing this as you walked inside but that was all scuppered when Bella let go of your hand seeing Mapi facing towards you and Alexia with her back to you.

“Mapi!” She shouted, sprinting over to the familiar face.

Luckily for you she noticed her and managed to slip her chair out enough for Bella to climb straight onto her lap. “Bella!”

“Who’s this cutie?” Alexia asked.

“My daughter.” You announced your presence, taking the seat next to between them. “Hey.”

You needed to get used to this shocked face as her eyes flitted back and forth between you and Bella. “Your daughter?”

So that led you to explaining the basics of the situation again, Mapi kept Bella entertained when she asked about where her father was but like she assured you, the reaction was a positive one.

“Bella come here.” You gestured over for her to come and sit on your lap. “So this is Alexia.”

“Hola and you must be Ben.” Alexia smirked, pretending to shake her hand.

“Bella.” The little girl repeated.

“Bethany.”

“Bella.”

“Ah it’s Bella.” She finally gave in, taking the little girl onto her own lap and then turning to Mapi. “So when did you find out?”

“I took Y/N back on Friday and saw her so I spent the day with them yesterday.

“Well Alexia is much more fun than boring Mapi.” Alexia teased, tickling Bella so squeals resonated round the little café. “Are you going to tell the rest of the team?”

“I think so, I was most worried about telling you both so the rest should be a breeze.”

“You had no reason to be worried.” Mapi once again reassured you. “We know it’s been tough but we’re here for you no matter what.”

“Completely.” Alexia agreed with her. “Bella just becomes the fourth member of our squad.”

When the time came to go to training you dropped Bella off at the nursery before making your way to the training centre. You could instantly see the looks coming your way as the team obviously noted that Alexia and Mapi waited for you at the door, laughing with you as you all entered the changing room.

“Ok what’s going on?” Irene asked as the group all fell silent. “Just last week you three weren’t even speaking.”

“You should actually all gather round because I’ve got something you’ll all want to hear.” And that’s how the secret unravelled further as you let all your teammates in on your life. “I just want you all know that whatever you heard at the time or whatever you feel now, I never wanted to stop playing. Every inch of me wished that I could have been with you for that tournament and I’m sorry I never told you all but I’ve got an amazing little girl and hopefully I can help the team again.”

All your Spanish and previous teammates came and officially welcomed you back, a breath of relief coming out with every hug you received.

“Welcome to the mum club.” Irene said as she gave you hers. “I’m always here if you need anything.”

“The same with you, I might not be much help but I can try.”

“Does she look like you?” Claudia asked. “Come on I need some pictures.”

“She’s the cutest thing ever,” Alexia said.

“And Y/N’s twin.” Mapi said. “She’s definitely your daughter.”

So that’s how you spent the majority of the training session, in the changing room all they wanted to see was every photo and video you had of her from a baby up until now. When you were on the field they just wanted story after story and would not stop until you promised to bring her one day.

Just as you were about to walk into the shower room after the session you stopped in your tracks when you heard your name being mentioned.

“I heard her and Mapi used to be really close.” The accent gave away that it was Caroline. “Them and Alexia.”

“Mapi never really mentioned her.” That voice you could tell was Ingrid Engen, the one girl on the team who didn’t really welcome you and stayed well away.

“I think there was a big bust up because of this, like they looked quite close again this morning.”

“Maybe, Mapi has been a little tense this past week. I was meant to be hanging out with her on Saturday but she cancelled on Saturday morning.”

“Why?”

“Oh she said her parents had organised a surprise family meal or something, something she couldn’t get out of.” You wouldn’t call it a smug face but you were a bit confused as to why she’d come to you when she already had plans.

“I’m sure like you said it was something she just couldn’t get out of, I wouldn’t worry about that or anything to do with Y/N.”

“Oh I’m not worried about any sort of competition between us two and Mapi’s never really like overly playful with any children.”

Really? I guess she really didn’t know her at all then.

[blacksta4]

please please please more pussy drunk jonathan in general i just absolutely love the way you write him

ABSOLUTELY!

Jonathan wants you to sit on his face. It’s all he asks for It’s like he NEEDS it, he’s been pestering you all week about it and let’s be real that boy has very little muscle mass so the thought of suffocating was rampant but also the fact of you’ve never done this before but he kept asking—begging. “Please…don’t even need you on m’cock just wanna taste you” he’d say one last time while his front was pressed up against your backside and that’s when you gave in.

It had been hours and Jonathan still has you strapped down onto his face, nose bumping against your clit which sends you into a frenzy—“n-no more please” you’d plead but it fell on deaf ears sometimes he didn’t even respond but when he did it was always a variation of “stay still” or “be a good girl and keep still”. You can’t lie and say you weren’t enjoying it but with 5 orgasms in you became overly sensitive—Jonathan on the other hand seemed to be liking this more than you, whenever you’d buck your hips against his tongue and nose in some attempt to lift off of him he’d hum sending shock waves all over your body and whenever you’d finally cum. There was Jonathan groaning into your cunt like this was the best thing he’d ever experience—it probably was tbh, he didn’t have any intent of stopping soon he claimed “wanna to keep you here forever” or something it was all hazy as you felt your 6th orgasm coming but it felt different. There was a heavier feeling than usual in your lower tummy, it felt like you were about to explode and when he brought his calloused thumb up to roughly rub at your clit you lost it. Spraying all on his face and dripping down his shirt he pulled you off after the initial after shock and you writhing your hips into his face, “holy fucking shit.” He’d say while you look confused till it clicked “babe you fucking squirted.” “I know.” He smiles with a glint in his eye you know all to well before he pulls you by your feet “I wanna try something.”

[literary-motif]

could you make another Elias NSFW, THE FIRTS ONE WAS SOOOO GOOODDDD AND THANK YOU THANK YOUU, i personally think you got his character down perfectly ‼️‼️ I’ve been obsessed w him lately and there’s not many people that write about him. YOUR WRITING IS ALSO SOOO AMAZING AND TRULY OUT OF THIS WORLD AND I LOVE EVERY PEICE OF WORK THAT YOU DO <33

Thank you, anon <3 I hope you like this!

Cup of Coffee (NSFW)

Elias x Reader

Elias fucks you against the kitchen counter.

His eyes never left you, following your graceful movements in the kitchen — the half-spin you did as you dashed to the nearly overflowing milk, the sweater riding up against your skin as you stood on your tiptoes to get the large mugs from the shelf above your head — with a fondness in his eyes and a content little smile. Elias was happy to just watch you work your magic as you prepared a ‘special’ coffee for him, his head propped on his hand as he gazed at you dreamily. 

You were just perfect. 

“I could make this better,” you said with a huff as the foam refused to get as fluffy as you wanted it to. Maybe it was the milk, but as you eyed the pathetic milk foamer in your hand, which had given up halfway through doing its job, you had a creeping suspicion that it was the fault of the equipment you were forced to work with. “If I had the machines of the bar, I could make the most amazing coffee you have ever tasted in your life, trust me.”

Elias chuckled, taking a mental note to buy you your own bar once all this mess was over, or at the very least all the machinery you wanted to be a barista at home. Seeing you so passionate and excited over the work you missed to do, made his heart melt, and he could not wait to wipe the frown of annoyance from your face as you prepared a drink just the way you wanted to.

“Anything you do is amazing, barista,” he said, waiting patiently for the coffee you were preparing. He was curious about what you had come up with after promising him a special twist to his morning routine. 

You huffed again as you messed up the foam art, cursing under your breath. “Well, it’s not gonna be much to look at, I’m afraid,” you murmured, quelching your disappointment by spraying some whipped cream on top of it to hide the disaster and sprinkling it with a dash of cinnamon. “Last-minute changes had to be made because I royally fucked up. Do you like cinnamon?”

“You know I do,” he answered, still able to taste the cinnamon swirls you had baked together yesterday when he closed his eyes. “And don’t be so harsh on yourself, it’s just a coffee. Anything you do is perfect to me.” Elias added the last part in a whisper.

You heard his words perfectly, and they made your movements till for a second, the candid adoration in them causing your heart to skip a beat. “Cheesy,” you mumbled light-heartedly, the warmth spreading through your chest nearly stealing your breath. “Your coffee is ready.”

Elias beamed as you approached with his drink, setting it down on the counter he was resting against. “This looks wonderful,” he praised, looking at the cup of coffee with wide eyes. “You’re the best barista I have ever come across. Thank you so much.” 

“You haven’t even tried it yet,” you said sheepishly, biting your lips in nervousness as you wondered if his praise would hold up to the actual taste. “I hope you like it.” 

“I’m sure I will,” he said, hesitating to taste the masterpiece you had prepared for him. “But it’s so pretty, I kinda feel bad to just—” 

You burst out laughing, moving the cup closer to him. “It’s coffee, Elias. I prepared it just for you. It’s made to be drunk.”

He conceded, picking up a spoon and incorporating the whipped cream into the liquid, mixing the cinnamon as well. “It smells delicious, by the way,” he said, eyes fixed on the soft brown swirling in his cup, “I never knew coffee could smell this lovely.”

“Just because I made it, I’m sure,” you teased, picking up your own cup of coffee and stirring the containment. 

“How else?” Elias asked lightly, but there was not a hint of irony in his voice, making your eyes snap up to look at him just as he sat down his cup, humming at the taste. “It’s delicious,” he said, licking at his lips to disperse the milk foam clinging to him. “I love it.” 

You chuckled in relief, happy to have made something for him that he liked. “Good,” you said, raising your cup to your lips. Elias watched you with a fond smile which lightly faltered as he saw the milk sticking to your upper lip. “This is why I normally serve this with a straw,” you laughed, reaching your hand across the counter to grab a paper towel. Elias stopped you, taking hold of your hand and intertwining your fingers before moving to stand next to you. “What is it?” you asked, suddenly breathless at his intense gaze.

Instead of answering, he tilted his head, kissing the foam off of your lips before deepening the kiss, and backing you against the counter. “You’re so hot right now,” he whispered, one of his arms wrapping around your back while the other kept you pressed up against him, trapped. “I love it when you’re happy. You’re so fucking beautiful, I’ve been staring at you all morning.”

You exhaled shakily, his words against your ear making you shiver, the placement of his hands and his tickling breath on your neck — promising more, so much more — had desire coursing through you, longing for the man in front of you. 

“You’ve been staring?” you asked, feigning innocence as you wrapped your arms around his neck, nails gently scratching along his back. “What were you staring at?”

“You,” he breathed, groaning as he pressed his hips further against yours, making you feel the swelling of his cock, steadily hardening against you. “Your face, your hands, your back, your tummy, your ass,” he said, grinding against you slowly. “All of you, my perfect barista.”

His words made you moan, tightening your arms around him to pull him closer, reducing the space between you as you grind your hips against his, giving you both a taste of the friction you needed. “I think you’ve stared enough,” you gasped, trailing your hands down his back until they rested against his ass, pushing him more firmly against you.

“I want to have you,” Elias groaned, letting go of your body to slip his hands between you two, undoing your pants and letting them pool at your ankles before doing the same for himself, freeing his achingly hard cock. “I want to fuck you against the counter. Yeah? Shit, I need to feel my cock inside you so bad.”

“Fuck, yes,” you gasped after a moment as his hands trailed between your legs, stretching you out against his fingers briefly to prepare you for him. “You feel so good,” you moaned, whimpers falling from your lips as he angled them, brushing against the spot that made you buck your hips against his hand in desperation.

Elias removed his fingers, making you deflate for an instant before he angled his cock with your entrance and pushed it inside slowly, stretching you out inch by inch. “God, you’re tight,” he gasped as you mewled at the stretch, fingers digging into his back as he rested his forehead on your shoulder, a hand on your hip to keep you steady as he moved the other between your shoulder blades, keeping you securely against him.

“Fuck — ah — Elias,” you moaned as he started thrusting, filling you up so well it made your head spin. The rhythm he set in pumping his cock in and out of your tight hole had you bouncing with every thrust, lower back digging into the counter behind you as Elias fucked you so exquisitely against it. 

Your hands move from his neck to brace yourself against the surface behind you, keeping yourself steady as Elias thrust into you, groaning at your pleasured moans and murmuring your name over and over again as if it were a prayer. 

“You’re taking me so well,” he panted against your neck, placing hot open-mouthed kisses against your skin as his arms tightened around you, bending you over the counter further to ram his cock even deeper inside of you.

The new angle made your toes curl, the pleasure building in your lower belly increasing further until you could do nothing but cry out a broken choke of his name as it pulled you under, waves of pleasure crashing over you as you came. Elias held you through it, thrusting into your shuddering body a few more times until his cock twitched and he released inside of you with a groan, riding out his high. 

“Shit,” you cursed breathlessly, heart hammering against your chest as Elias continued kissing your neck softly. “I think the coffee’s cold now, Elias.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he murmured against your skin. “I like it cold, too. Take another sip, barista. I think I’m going to lick it off of you again. What do you say?”

[burgundybmw]

Ahoy Sailor!

Masterlist

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2,427

Warnings: Reader is described to have curly hair, could be natural or a perm, it's the 80s hahaha.

Summary: Steve hated the Scoops Ahoy uniform. It was tacky, lame, and totally ruined his best feature. It was a walking red flag to any girl that walked into the ice cream shop, leaving Steve alone in a sea of people without any hope of a date. Until a girl walks in he's never met before, and for whatever reason, the uniform doesn't seem to be a problem. In fact, it's the opposite.

Author’s Note: This is essentially a love letter to the Scoops Ahoy uniform. Babygirl Steve is my bread and butter.

There were a few things Steve Harrington hated in his life. One, the fucked up monsters that ruled the Upside Down. Two, when he forgets to restock on his Farrah Fawcett spray. Three, Billy Hargrove's entire existence, and finally, the stupid sailor uniform he's forced to wear at Scoops Ahoy. The last two were related. If it weren't for that mullet wearing asshole he'd be sitting pretty at the public pool. He was captain of the Hawkins High varsity swim team, been a certified lifeguard since he was 15. This summer was supposed to be a breeze. It all came crashing down when he walked into the Hawkins Pool house on his first day and saw Hargrove's smug face in the locker room. Steve took one foot inside of the threshold and immediately walked out. His dad was forcing him to get a summer job, teach him responsibility or some other bullshit. It's not like he was ever home to make sure he actually did what he asked, but Steve knew his parents had spies all over Hawkins. A bunch of bored soccer moms who had nothing else better to do than snitch on him. So now he was stuck inside of Starcourt Mall, slinging ice cream in the world's ugliest uniform known to mankind. It was ruining his life, something his new coworker Robin took great joy in reminding him daily.

"I believe that's strike three Harrington, you're out!" Robin teased from the back window. She had that stupid white board out, of all of Steve's failures clearly on display. It was the uniform's fault. Steve knew he had game, he had no issues getting girls back in high school. He may no longer hold the title of King Steve, but it wasn't like he was a total loser. How was anybody supposed to take him seriously in a sailor uniform? The dumb hat ruined his best feature. Stupid Scoops Ahoy protocol, stupid Billy Hargrove, stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Laugh it up Buckley, one of these days I'm gonna score and you're gonna eat your words!"

"Gonna capture your white whale, Captain?"

"That's messed up Robin, you shouldn't talk about women like that"

"It's a Moby Dick reference, dingus" Robin rolled her eyes, placing the whiteboard with a fresh tally mark behind the counter.

"Well if you want to talk about di-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there before I vomit"

Steve couldn't help but laugh at her a bit. He liked working with Robin. She was a cool girl, even when she liked to annoy him with her scoreboard. It could have been worse, he could have been stuck with Hargrove all summer. She filled a void he had in his heart since Dustin went to summer camp. The other kids only used him to get into free movies, didn't stay to chat very long. He missed the little butthead. The kids were all planning a surprise party for him when he got back, but that was still a couple weeks away. Till then, he had to make do with what he had. Virtually alone in a sea of people.

Steve thrived in crowds. He liked talking to people, getting to know them, and the Starcourt mall was full of potential. If only this sailor uniform didn't scare them away before he could even open his mouth. It was getting ridiculous. Nancy had dumped him a little over seven months ago and he had zero luck with women since. He didn't start seriously trying until spring break, it took awhile to heal his broken heart. Steve was beyond ready to get back out there, find the other fish in the sea, capture whatever dick whale Robin was talking about, some other shitty nautical metaphors.

He really needed to get laid.

"Heads up Ahab, new customer on board" Robin whispered as she refilled napkins in the dispensers.

Steve turned around to see a girl standing at the counter. She hadn't noticed him yet, too busy peeking at the ice cream flavors in the freezer. He hadn't seen this girl around before, definitely didn't go to Hawkins High with him. She looked about his age, maybe a year above or below him. She had her hair pulled up in a bright yellow scrunchie, delicate curls framing her pretty face. Steve always had a thing for curly hair, loved the idea of tracing the ringlets with his finger. Liked the idea of tracing hers.

"See anything you like?" Steve asked in a cool voice, or at least what he thought sounded cool. He's afraid he's lost his touch recently.

The girl popped her head up to see who spoke to her, noticing Steve's presence for the first time. Her glossy lips formed a small o shape, and he couldn't help but wonder what they would taste like. Steve was getting ahead of himself, one step at a time.

He watched her eyes slowly look up and down his uniform, it took everything in him not to shrink with embarrassment. Yet, when they made eye contact once more it wasn't the look he expected. Usually girls would be stifling their giggles at him, not in the endearing way either. It was always the you look ridiculous but I'm not going to be rude and laugh in your face about it act. This girl didn't have that. She looked embarrassed yes, but not for him. If Steve didn't know any better, he might have thought that she liked the uniform on him. That was impossible though, nobody liked the stupid uniform.

"I definitely do" the girl replied, a modest smile on her face.

"Well we have an ocean of flavors here at Scoops Ahoy, what are you feelin' today?" More nautical puns. Maybe he was a loser. A full fled member of the loser's club. If Mike were here he'd be laughing in his face at the moment, little jerk. What did Mike know about anything? Thought he was so high and mighty getting his first girlfriend, as if that's the mightiest achievement in the universe.

Now Steve was comparing himself to a 13 year old. Oh how the mighty have fallen...

"What flavor's your favorite? I can't decide. Everything here looks delicious"

"I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to judge..." Robin had asked him the same question their first shift together and she went on a 20 minute rant on why Steve was totally 100% irrevocably wrong. How someone can be wrong about their favorite flavor of ice cream was beyond him.

"Pinky promise I won't" the girl held her manicured finger out for him, her nails painted the same color as the scrunchie in her hair. Steve looped his finger around hers and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"It's mint chocolate chip" he had the full defense on his choice at the tip of his tongue. Mint chocolate chip was an excellent flavor of ice cream, most people just didn't give it a chance. It didn't taste like toothpaste, that always mind boggled him. Chocolate and mint go hand in hand like peanut butter and jelly. Like peppermint patties or shamrock shakes and some other third thing.

"Really? I don't think I've ever met someone who's favorite was mint chocolate chip" she pulled her finger back as she said it, Steve missed the contact.

"Trust me, it's great. If you haven't tried it, give it a shot"

"I don't know, seems like a big risk," she looked down at his name tag, before slowly dragging her eyes back to his face, "gonna sell it to me Steve?"

Now, Steve knew when a girl was into him. Maintaining eye contact, physical touch, teasing. It's flirting 101. He just had no idea how he managed to do it right this time. Steve didn't try anything special, didn't lay it on thick. It was like he didn't have to try. For whatever reason, this girl didn't seem bothered by the uniform. He wasn't going to waste the one opportunity he's had in months.

"Well, I am certified in the frozen confectionary arts, Miss?"

"L/N, Y/N L/N" she definitely didn't go to Hawkins then. He would have recognized the name if she had.

"Alright Miss. Y/N L/N, mint chocolate chip is perhaps the best flavor of ice cream we sell"

"Really? Do tell" Y/N asked with teasing grin.

"Oh we constantly sell out of the stuff. This tub right here we got in this morning, fresh is the best. I hear the CEO of Scoops Ahoy himself keeps mint chocolate chip in his office everyday because he loves it so much" Steve is talking out of his ass. He doesn't even know if Scoops Ahoy even has a CEO. It's a corporation, so he's sure there must be someone at the top of the frozen food chain.

"That's some high prasie"

"Who doesn't like to be praised?" Steve does. Too much if he's being honest with himself.

"Fair enough" Y/N began, twirling one of her curls around her finger, "one scoop of mint chocolate chip in a dish please "

"Any sprinkles or fudge?"

"Do they cost extra?"

"It's on the house, for taking the risk and all that" Steve was glad his manager was a total flake and never showed up to work. He could get fired for giving away free ice cream, it wouldn't have been a total loss though.

"Then I guess I'll do both"

Steve grabbed the scooper from his belt and gave it a little twirl, earning a giggle from the girl on the other side of the counter. He was on cloud 9. For the first time since he started this lame job he might finally have a shot at adding a tally to the You Rule side of Robin's stupid board. Y/N was clearly into him, as long as he didn't fuck up in the next few minutes he was as good as gold.

"Here you go, one scoop of mint chocolate chip for the lady" Steve said as walked back to the counter. If he was paying better attention, he would have noticed the forgotten white board edge behind him. But Steve wasn't paying attention, and he clocked the board with his hip. It fell to the tile floor with a loud thunk and slid across the floor to the other side of the counter. Right in Y/N's line of sight. He could only watch in horror as she picked up the board and read the incriminating marks on the white plastic.

"I-I can explain that" Steve stuttered, placing the cup of ice cream on the counter.

"Oh yea?" Y/N asked, her grip on the whiteboard remaining steady.

"Yea, well, you see" Steve was floundering. He knew he couldn't come up with anything that didn't seem like total bullshit, because that's all it would be. Bullshit. A shiver ran down his spine at the memory of Nancy and Halloween. Steve didn't want to be bullshit, so he was left with only one option. Honesty.

"It's a scoreboard for me. Every time I hit on a girl and fail Robin puts a tally on the you suck side. If I manage to get a number or a date it would go on the other side. As you can see, I don't have the best luck. I swear it's this stupid uniform, it's cursed" Steve refused to look at the girl as he spoke, his face flushed red with mortified embarrassment. It was all over now, Steve was sure of it. He hadn't felt that pathetic in weeks. Not since his dad laid into him, calling him a fuck up for not getting into Tech. A certified loser he was.

"Well, apparently the girls of Hawkins have shit taste"

"What?" Steve and Robin asked at the same time. Robin had been pretending not to listen during the entire interaction, but she finally blew her cover then. Steve was also in a state of shock. Moments before he was convinced Robin would another black line to his never ending shit score.

"If I'm being honest," Y/N began as she reached over to grab one the dry eraser markers beside the cash register, "I actually dig the uniform. Don't know why, but there's just something about those little shorts and that tie that I like"

Steve was struck dumb. Static in his brain as he watched the girl write something on the board. He didn't know what he did to finally get some positive karma in his life, but he wasn't about to question divine intervention now.

"I guess it's true what they say" Y/N said with a wink as she capped the marker, "ladies do love a man in uniform. Well, at least this one does"

She handed the board to Steve and grabbed her scoop of mint chocolate chip ice cream. He looked down to see one single tally mark on the You Rule side of the board, alongside ten digits and small heart beside her name.

"I don't know your schedule, but I'm free this Saturday night. I hear St. Elmo's Fire is really good" Holy mother of God. Steve had a date. A date with a pretty girl for the first time in eight friggin months.

"Saturday's good for me, maybe I can get you dinner instead of ice cream this time" Steve had to work until 5 on Saturday, but maybe with a bit of groveling Robin would be willing to cover the last two hours solo.

"Dinner and a movie, sounds perfect" Steve watched as Y/N took a single bite of her ice cream, her tongue swirling around the small red plastic. He couldn't keep his eyes off of it.

"Yea, perfect"

"See ya then Sailor" Y/N turned to walk outside of the shop, her hips swaying with every step. As soon as she was out of earshot, Robin raced to get behind the counter. Her eyes scanned the board Steve still held in his hand, her eyes nearly bugging out of her skull.

"Holy shit, you got a date!" Robin gasped with barely contained surprise. Holy shit was right. For the first time since Steve started at Scoops, he praised the company uniform. It managed to charm the one girl in Hawkins that was into silly sailor get ups. It seemed like things were looking up. Steve grabbed an old receipt and a pen, quickly jotting down Y/N's number before it got destroyed. A proud, and slightly smug, smile on his face.

"Still got it"

Tag list:

@cevans-winchester , @lalalalemonade11 , @esoltis280 , @celestialsxturn , @thatredlipped-classic , @musicmoviestv , @panagiasikelia ,

[callsign-magnolia]

Right Here Waiting // Bob Floyd

A/N: This is my first reader insert story and I'm quite proud if I say so myself. This is also the longest story I have ever written! This is for @roosterforme's #Love is in the Air challenge! I wanted to have this out in February but life prevented that but it's here now and I hope you guys enjoy it!

Warnings: Major character death, mentions of cancer,, mentions of Alzheimer's, postpartum depression, mentions of cheating, smut, angst and overall sadness!

Synopsis: Your life with Robert Floyd from start to finish.

Word Count: 25.8k

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I met Bob Floyd when I was in college. Him at the Naval Academy, and I was at the University of Maryland in College Park. "Come on! It'll be fun! There will lots of cute guys from the Academy!" I shook my head as I laid back on my bed. "Annette, I'm not really feeling it tonight. I'd rather stay here." This was the fourth week in a row she invited me out with her. Her boyfriend was attending the Naval Academy and she went down every Friday to see him. "So, lame." I sat up, raising a brow at her. "Did you just call me lame?" She nodded, just barely glancing over her shoulder at me. "I did." She knew I couldn't stand that. "I'll show you lame! Give me twenty!"

Soon we were at a bar at Annapolis. I had on a silver party dress, heels, the whole nine yards. "That last stop at the tanning bed this morning really did it for you." Annette said and I smiled. "You think? I almost double dipped and got a spray tan too." She rolled her eyes. "What? Tanning is not just a style, it's a way of life!" I said as she led us up to a group of guys. "BABY!" She squealed, rushing up to one of the tall guys, jumping into his arms. I smiled as I watched them, high school sweethearts who were still so in love. "Luke, this is my friend!" He shook my hand as I gave him my name. "Nice to meet you." The night went on, and we partied but I noticed one guy at the bar, drinking water and sitting alone. "His name is Robert Floyd." Luke said as he came over. "He's in the Academy with us. Tends to keep to himself." I smirked. "Then I guess I'll change that."

So, I did. I walked over to him and decided to take up the seat next to him. "Wanna buy me a drink?" I joked and he looked to me, wide eyed. "M-me?" I nodded, resting my chin in my hand. "Why me?" I giggled at his question, a little tipsy. "Why not you?" He seemed confused by my question. "You've sat here all night, while your friends are drinking and dancing. Figured you could use a friend." He smiled at me. "That's very kind of you. I'm uh, Robert Floyd." He said, holding out his hand. I shook it, giving him my name. "That's a beautiful name." A blush crept up my cheeks. "Thank you." He chuckled, liking the way my cheeks heated up. "What would you like to drink?" He asked, standing to go to the other end of the bar. "An Ultra, please." He smiled, turning to leave but turned back, furrowing his brows. "You'll be here when I come back, right?" I nodded. "I'll be right here waiting."

And I was true to my word. I did wait. I was still sitting there when he came back. We hit it off, and soon we were dating. He would drive to me or I to him. Soon summer came and he asked me to meet his parents, so I booked a flight out to Oklahoma. "You're picking me up, right?" I asked as I stood at my gate, waiting to board. "Yes, honey. I'll be right here waiting." Sure enough, he was. I ran towards him, launching myself into his arms. "Oh, I missed you." I muttered into his shoulder, he chuckled, letting me down till I was steady on my feet. "It's only been three weeks." He said, a smile on his face. "Three weeks too long." He leaned down, capturing my lips with his. Once he pulled away, he pulled me close, a smile on his face as his glasses slid down his nose.

"Come on. Ma and Pa are excited to meet you." He said as he guided me over to baggage claim. "Can we stop and get some flowers before we get there?" I asked as he grabbed my suitcase from the conveyor belt. "Flowers? Why?" He asked, surprised by my request. "I'm not showing up to your parents’ house empty handed! My own mother would be angry if I did!" He chuckled, taking my hand as he led me out of the airport. His parents were amazing people, owning a small ranch in Oklahoma and raising three kids. Robby being the middle child, and one of three boys. His older brother Zeke was a chemical engineer, and his younger brother Michael was in his junior year of high school. "So dear, Robert tells us you attend the University of Maryland. What are you in school for?" His mom asked as we sat down for dinner the first night. "Oh, education. I want to be a teacher." She grinned at me. "Elementary?" I shook my head. "I love kids, but I think I'm better suited for high school. I hope to be a college history professor one day!" His dad nodded at me. "Big dreams, stick with them. Robby tells us you work hard so I have no doubt you'll achieve that goal."

His parents took me in as their own, loved me like the daughter they never had. My parents on the other hand, took a little convincing. They were worried about Robby being in the Navy, my dad feared he'd break my heart, my mom worried something would happen to him and leave me crushed. But, once they met him, they loved him. I grew up an only child. They wanted more but after me, mom couldn't have any more kids. My dad loved him like a son, taking him out to the garage to work on his cars with him. My mom stuck to embarrassing me with childhood pictures, which Robby loved.

But soon we went back to school and stayed together. Upon his graduation, I pinned his gold bars to him as he graduated second Lieutenant. It was a wonderful week for him, seeing all of his success. Pride swelled in my chest, seeing him in his dress whites. "I'm so proud of you, Robby." He grabbed my hand, kissing it. "That means a lot to me, coming from you."

I graduated the same year and soon we were separated. He went to Pensacola, and I got my first teaching job at a high school in Maryland. "You'll be here when I come visit?" I nodded. "I'll be right here waiting." He smiled, kissing me before boarding his flight for Florida. It was hard. There were times I questioned if we would make it, but after his graduation from flight school he was sent to NAS Pax River, right here in Maryland. He lived on base, and I had a tiny, one bedroom apartment not far. We spent so much time with each other, as much as we could spare, because I knew, soon he'd ship out.

That came about two months after he was stationed. Orders came and took him from me. "Keep this safe while I'm gone?" He asked, placing his class ring on my thumb, the only finger it'd fit. "I will. I won't take it off." He smiled, kissing me fervently as we stood on the docks, tears running down my face. "I don't want you to go." He gave me a teary smile, and I took his new glasses from him, cleaning them off before sliding them back on his face. "I'll always come back to you. I promise." He held me close as I nodded, my hands resting on his chest. "I'll be right here waiting. Always." He held me until he was forced to board. I sat there for the rest of the day, wishing the ship would turn around and bring him back to me. I was a wreck. My students noticed, my parents noticed, and his parents noticed when they called. I cried and cried. The facetime calls didn't help, as soon as he hung up I cried some more. My chest ached and I felt like it would never end. He never told me when he was coming home. So, I screamed when my apartment door flew open and pointed the knife in my hand at whoever came in.

But I dropped immediately as I saw Robby standing there, huffing with his hands on his knees. A cry escaped my lips as I rushed him, throwing myself into his arms. "You're home!" I cried into his shoulder. Once he caught his breath he all but dropped me, and I stumbled back as he fell to one knee. He grabbed my hand, taking his class ring off my thumb in a rush. "Marry me." It wasn't a question and I was baffled at the suddenness of it all. "I don't have a real ring; this is all I can offer you right now. But all these months apart have made me realize, more than ever, I don't want to, and I can't live my life without you by my side. So, will you do me the honor of becoming Mrs. Floyd?" I had to catch my breath, tears streaking my cheeks. "Yes. Yes!" I squealed as he pulled me into his arms, his lips finding mine. That night we called our parents and his mom sent his grandmother's engagement ring. It took a while but when it arrived, I was in love. A simple gold band with an oval cut diamond with a halo of smaller diamonds around it. Soon we were planning a wedding. He was still stationed at Pax River, so we opted for a wedding in Annapolis. In the chapel of the naval academy. Why not get married in the place it all started?

Our wedding day was hectic as everyone rushed to get ready. Annette was my Matron of honor, and Luke was Robby's best man. They got married right out of college, not wanting to wait any longer. I wore a ballgown style dress, long lace sleeves with a veil that trailed behind me. I always joked that if my husband-to-be didn't cry as I walked down the aisle, I would turn around. But I never told Robby that, and I didn't have to as tears rolled down his cheeks behind his glasses. He stood there, handsome as ever in his dress whites and I almost couldn't wait to get to the end of the aisle. My dad gave me away and Robby and I both cried through the ceremony. "I now pronounce you, man and wife. You may now kiss the bride." He grabbed me, pulling me into a passionate kiss before letting go. "I now announce to you, Mr. & Mrs. Robert Floyd!" I couldn't help the squeal that escaped me, and I leapt back into his arms, kissing him again before we made our way back down the aisle and out the door.

"I think I know what song our first dance will be to." He told me that months ago, but never told me what it would be. He just pulled me to the dance floor for our first dance and I started crying as the opening keys of Richard Marx's 'Right Here Waiting’ played. "I will always be waiting for you, Robby. Wherever we go." I said before resting my head on his chest as he slowly spun us around the dance floor.

Our first year of marriage was bliss, he moved off base with me and stayed stationed at Pax River until orders came. Once again, I had to let him go and it wasn't any easier than the first time. "I'll be right here waiting for you." I said as he kissed me. "And I'll always come home to you." With that, he was gone and all I could do was work and wait. But Robby was different when he came home this time. More closed off, more reserved. I never pushed him to talk but soon he started getting up in the middle of the night, leaving and coming home early in the morning and immediately showering. He wouldn't hardly touch me anymore. All the signs pointed to another woman, but I didn't want to believe it, I couldn't. The Robby I loved would never do that to me, but I didn't know this Robby. So one morning after his shower, I cornered him before he could get dressed for work.

"Are you okay?" He just hummed, nodding. "Where do you go?" He stopped, turning to me. His pants were unzipped, unbuttoned, and he had no shirt on. His jaw was slack, as if he couldn't believe I'd ask. He ignored my question, getting dressed as tears rolled down my face. "Is it another woman?" I asked as he walked by me, and he stopped. "I don't want to believe it. But every sign points to it." He just stared at me in shock. "If you're struggling, I want to help you. But if there's someone else, you have to tell me." He shook his head, rushing over and taking my face in his hands. "No. Honey, I would never. I just- this last deployment was hard. We lost some good people and I’m struggling to process it."

My heart broke for him. I was so stupid to think he'd ever do that to me. I took his glasses off, running my thumbs under his eyes to wipe away tears before holding his face. "Let me in, Robby. Let me help you." At my words, he broke. He sunk to his knees, holding me close and burying his face in my stomach. I just shushed him, running my fingers through his hair as he cried. I let him cry until he was done, standing and holding him close. "Don't shut me out again? You shouldn't have to carry all of this alone." He kissed my head before resting his cheek on my head. "Thank you, darlin. You don't know how much that means to me." I smiled, pulling away, keeping my hands on his ribs as I looked up at him. "I'm right here, Robby. Always waiting for you."

A few more years down the line, Robby was called up for Top Gun. We cheered as he hoisted me into his arms. "I always knew you were the best, honey!" We celebrated until he left for San Diego and while it was hard for us to be separated, it was a little easier knowing what an achievement it was. I was unable to get off work for his graduation, which hurt but he knew I was right here, waiting for him. He got orders for a mission immediately after and he would be gone another two weeks and had to be completely dark. But once he docked back in San Diego, he called me. "We're moving." I furrowed my brows as I sat at my desk once the school day finished. "Moving?" He hummed on the other end. "Lemoore, California." And with that we got to packing. He moved out there before me, it was three weeks from the end of the school year, so I decided to crash with a coworker until I finally left for Lemoore.

I launched myself into Robby's arms at the airport, just happy to be with him again. "You ready to see our house?" My eyes widened at his words. "House?" He nodded, carrying me over to baggage claim. "No more apartments! We have a house, with a large porch and a big yard. Perfect for little feet to run around." I leaned back as he held me, my hands resting on his chest. "Wait. Are you saying you're ready to try?" We had talked about kids, but we wanted to enjoy being married for a while first. "I am if you are." I smiled widely, resting my forehead on his. "I say we start as soon as we get home." He kissed me passionately, holding me so close. "We'll christen every room of the house." I squealed, kicking my feet in excitement as he set me down to grab my bags.

Of course, when we got home, he kept his promise. "Fuck, Robby." I cried as I bit into his shoulder. He had me up on the kitchen counter as he thrust into me. "That's it, Darlin." He moaned into my neck. It was almost animalistic, the way he fucked me. I was never left unsatisfied, unless he did it on purpose. In the midst of my thinking, Robby pulled out. I gasped as I heard the familiar pop and the empty feeling that followed. "Robby, please." I whined as I tried to pull him back in. "Nope. I said every room, darlin." His voice was husky as he chased his breath. He wrapped his arms under my thighs, carrying me to the living room which was lacking a couch. He laid me on the floor under the large picture window before slipping back in again.

"Fuck me, Robby. Please." I begged. "You're so pretty when you beg for me." He said as he ran his finger down my cheek, fucking into me again. He kissed across my chest, taking one of my nipples in his mouth, making me moan loudly. "I can't wait to see you pregnant. Swollen with my baby." He said as his hands rested on my waist. His words alone were enough to send me over the edge, making me cry out as I came. My legs locked around his waist as he finished, making sure he came inside me, keeping him there. "I love you, Mrs. Floyd." He said as he tried to catch his breath. "I love you so much more, Mr. Floyd."

We tried and we failed many times. "I'm sorry, Robby." I cried into his chest as he held me on the couch. "Don't apologize, darlin. It'll happen when it's our time." He said as he kissed my head. Soon I quit sobbing and only had a few hiccups here and there. "I just want to give you everything." He chuckled, playing with my hair. "You're everything I could ever need, darlin'. I'll always be right here." Once again, another deployment came though, a shorter one. Twelve weeks in the pacific. I scored a teaching job on base, which kept me busy during his deployment, and so did the puking. I had been getting sick since two weeks after Robby left and I immediately grabbed some pregnancy tests from the pharmacy on my way home. I threw everything in the floor by the front door as I rushed down the hallway to Robby and I's room. I went into the en suite, peeing on the sticks before letting them rest on the counter. I waited in the bathroom floor , twiddling my fingers as I waited for my phone to go off. Once it did I scrambled for the tests, dropping them into the floor before flipping them over. Three positives stared back at me.

I squealed loudly, jumping to my feet as I bounced around the bedroom. I rushed over to my full length mirror, lifting my shirt. There was nothing there, nothing to be noticed. But I felt it, my whole body filled with joy, and I could feel the little baby inside me. "Your daddy is gonna be ecstatic." After that I went to see my gynecologist, struggling to keep still as they did the ultrasound. "There they are!" He cheered, pointing at the screen. "There's your baby." He printed off pictures and I kept one on me at all times. I wanted to tell Robby, but he had to go dark for the entire mission, so I wouldn't be able to talk to him till he came home.

But soon, the twelve weeks were up and now I was just waiting for him to show. I was in the middle of teaching when I heard my class start whispering and giggling. "I didn't think the Civil War was funny." I said as I turned around, eyebrows raised. My students were all facing the door to my right, and I turned. A gasp escaped my lips as Robby stood there in his dress whites, flowers in hand. I rushed forward, launching myself at him, wrapping my arms around him. "Your home!" I cried as he held me. "I'm home." I gasped again, fighting my way out of his arms and rushing for my purse. I grabbed the ultrasound, running over and holding it up. "I'm pregnant." He was shocked, gently taking the picture, staring at it through his large glasses. "You're pregnant." I nodded and he set the flowers down on my desk, swooping me into his arms again. "How long?"

"Twelve weeks as of two days ago." He cheered, spinning me around. "YOU'RE PREGNANT?!" One of my students yelled, making everyone else get excited. "Yes, I am!" They all cheered as Robby took me in his arms again. "I love you Mrs. Floyd. More than anything in the entire world." He muttered against my lips as his hand drifted down to my stomach. As the months went by, Robby was a champ at dealing with me. Midnight cravings, he was up and getting it. He even took me to McDonalds at two a.m. because I wanted their fries. So, we sat in the truck, fries resting on my small belly as devoured them. As I got bigger, he slid my shoes on my feet for me, he helped me shave, he made my food. Anything I need, he did. Until he had to leave again.

"Back to Top Gun?" I asked as I sliced some radishes. "Has that ever happened before?" He shrugged, taking a radish slice from the cutting board. "Beats me." I sighed, setting the knife down and looking at him. "How long?" He smiled at me. "Three weeks." I laughed. "That's a cake walk compared to any other deployment you've done!" I looked at him again and he kept his head low. Looking at me through his glasses. "Darlin." He took my hands, leading me to the couch and setting me down as he kneeled in front of me. "This... is the most dangerous mission I will probably ever go on. It's likely someone isn't coming home, and that someone could be me." "Don't say that." "Hon-" "No! Don't put that out in the universe! I don't want anyone to die, but especially not you!"

I grabbed his cheeks, running my thumbs under his eyes. "Robby, I can't go through life without you. Me and ducky, we need you. I can't do this by myself. Don-don't say that because if something happens I-I can-I won-" "Okay! Okay, I'll be fine. This mission will be fine, and I'll be home before you know it." After seeing how upset he made me, he made sure not to say something like that again. So, the day he left for Miramar, he kissed me on our front porch and cradled my swollen belly. "I love you. So much and I'll be home before you know it." I nodded as he kissed me again. "Stay right here, Ducky. Don't even think about making an early debut." He said to my belly before placing a kiss on it. "I'm just barely seven months pregnant and the doctor says everything is normal. By the time you come home we'll be gearing up for the delivery." He smiled at me, kissing me and my belly one more time before he walked out to his car. "I love you!" He waved. "We love you too! We'll be right here waiting!" I yelled as I waved back.

But I wasn't waiting. Two weeks later I was in the middle of class when my phone went off. I ignored it but it immediately rang again. "Um, excuse me for a second guys." I told my senior class as I grabbed my phone. "Hello?" I answered the unfamiliar number. "Is this Mrs. Floyd?" My heart sped up. "This is she." "Mrs. Floyd, I'm sorry to report that your husbands plane crashed during a training exercise. A bird strike occurred and took out their engines." My chest tightened at her words as I leaned over on my desk. "He'll be transferred to Sharp Coronado Hospital." I opened my mouth to ask a question, but she beat me to it. "I'm afraid I have no information on his condition as search and rescue are still looking for him and his pilot." "Thank you." I wheezed out before she hung up. "Oh god." I cried as one of my students, Cassidee came over. "Mrs. Floyd you need to sit down." She helped me into my chair as she sent another student next door.

Soon, my coworker Miranda came in. "What happened?" She asked as she rushed over. "His plane went down! They haven't found him yet; I don't even know if he's alive!" I squalled. All she could do was hug me, holding me as I soaked her dress. I was sent home, which killed me. I called the hospital, looking for word and no one had one. I waited for another call, but no one ever did. So, I did the next best thing. I packed a duffel bag and hopped in my car, driving down to North Island. I cried the entire five-hour drive, showing my ID to get on base and immediately went to the hospital. It was ten o'clock by this point and I walked over to the front desk in the ER. "Hi, I'm Robert Floyd's wife. I was told he was being brought here but I haven't been told anything else." The nurse nodded, typing in the information I gave. "Oh my, he's been here for a while now. He's up on the ninth floor. Go through these doors and take the first elevator on your right up to the ninth floor." I nodded and rushed through the doors, taking the elevator up to the ninth floor.

Once I arrived, I saw a nurses station and rushed over. "My husband is here. I just got here, and I don't know what state he's in, can I see him?" "Ma'am, I need you to calm down." I took a deep breath, knowing she was right. "Visiting hours are over. You can come back at eight." My eyebrows shot up. "Eight?! I just drove here five hours from Lemoore because no one can even tell me if my husband is alive! I want to see him!" I said as I slammed my hand on the counter. The girl just raised a brow at me. "You can't see him. Visiting hours are over." I scoffed. "Can you at least tell me if he's alive?" Surely she could, if he was on a floor, he had to be alive right? "Come back at eight a.m." What the hell? "I'm his wife! I have a right to know if he's alive or not!" She groaned, rolling her eyes. "Look, those doors aren't going to open for visitors until eight a.m. You can either leave, or I can call security and have you escorted out!" If I wasn't pregnant, I'd come across this desk. "No! I'm going to park my pregnant ass in a chair, and you can stare at me all night! Then, at eight a.m. you're gonna open those fucking doors for me!" I said before marching towards a chair and settling in it.

"Does she want me to feel bad for her?" She remarked. The other girls looked uncomfortable, but never said anything. Soon I drifted off from exhaustion, with tears soaking my cheeks, and laid in the chair, waiting. "Mrs. Floyd?" My eyes fluttered open to see an older gentleman looking at me. "Whose asking?" I groaned, rubbing my belly as a small cramp passed through. "I'm Captain Mitchell. I've been training your husband." At the mention of Robby, I jumped up as best I could. "I'm so sorry, Captain." He grabbed my arms, steadying me. "Bob wasn't lying, you are pretty far along." I nodded, my hand running over my belly. It was a comfort at this point. "Robby. Is he okay?" Captain Mitchell furrowed his brows. "Has no one called you?" I shook my head. "I got the original call saying his jet went down. I don't even know if he's alive. He has to be, right?" He nodded quickly, reassuring me. A cry escaped my lips, realizing he was alive. "He is. They kept him overnight for observations, but he did get a few scrapes and bruises. Have you not seen him?" I shook my head. "I got here at ten last night and she told me I could only see him at eight. Is it eight?" I asked, looking down at my watch.

His face contorted in to anger before he stormed away from me, over to the nurses station. I couldn't tell what he said, until he yelled. "SHE'S HIS PREGNANT WIFE AND YOU COULDN'T EVEN TELL HER HE WAS ALIVE?!" It startled me, making me jump slightly. My watch said nine-thirty, and I sighed, walking over. "Come on. I'll take you to see him." I nodded, following Captain Mitchell as his hand rested on my back. It was aching from the chair, so the pressure was nice. "He's in here." I looked through the sliding glass door to see him in the bed closest to the window and a girl in the bed closest to the door. A whole group of people stood around them. Captain Mitchell opened the door, alerting everyone of our presence. "Holy-Darlin, what are you doing here?" He asked as I cried and pushed past everyone to get to him. I sat on the bed as I pulled him into my arms. "You're alive. Thank god." He held me as I cried into his neck. "Of course, I'm alive. Why would you think otherwise?" He pulled away, holding me a few inches away. "I only got the first call. They hadn't found you yet and no one called to update me."

His face hardened in anger, something I don't see often. "I'll set it straight, honey. Don't worry." He said as he kissed my forehead. "I can't believe you drove down here." I nodded as another small cramp went through me. "Can barely get behind the wheel but I made it." Someone cleared their throat and we turned to see his team staring at us. "When were you gonna tell us you were married?" The short guy with a buzz cut asked. "Yeah, and with a little rugrat on the way." The one with a mustache remarked. "Keeping me a secret, huh?" I smirked at him. "Wasn't my plan. Guys this is my wife." The way my name rolled off his lips always made a warm feeling settle in my belly. "Do you know what you’re having yet?" The girl in the bed next to his asked. We shook our heads as Robby grabbed my hand. "We want to be surprised." She grinned as Robby introduced me to everyone.

"Honey, this is Natasha Trace or Phoenix. She's my front seater." I waved at her before turning to everyone else. "This is Payback and Fanboy, Fanboy is a WSO like me. Then you have Coyote, Hangman and Rooster." I waved at everyone before the nurse came in. "Well good news. You both have clean scans and are free to be discharged." Natasha sat up, looking to the nurse. "Are we allowed to fly?" The nurse nodded enthusiastically. "Sure are!" Everyone cheered and I stood, a sharper cramp shooting through my belly and I winced slightly. "Hey, you okay?" Fanboy asked and I nodded, before another cramp hit, making my hand fly to my swollen belly. "You okay, honey?" I nodded but cried out as another cramp hit, the sharp pain making me bend over slightly, resting my hand on the bed.

"Hey, darlin. You gotta talk to me here, what's goin' on?" He asked as I sat back down, his hand slowly rubbing my belly. "I think it's Braxton hicks, but god it hurts!" I said as tears welled in my eyes. "Should she be seen?" Rooster asked and I shook my head. "No, you're getting seen." I shook my head as a sob escaped me. "No, my doctor is in Lemoore, we can't have this baby here." Robby stood, grabbing my hand in his. "Well, you can't have it out in the parking lot either. Come on, mama." The nurse said as another young nurse brought a wheelchair in. "No." I said and Robby sighed, standing and saying my name with a stern tone. "Get up, we're going to get you and Ducky looked at." I couldn't argue in my state, so I let him and the nurse help me up and get me into the wheelchair. "I'm gonna get changed and I'll be there." I nodded as the nurse wheeled me out.

They got me in a room and started doing exams when Robby burst in. "Shouldn't you be in training?" He shook his head. "I'll go after this. Maverick said I needed to be here." I nodded as he took my hand, kissing my wedding ring before we turned out attention to the doctor. "So, it looks like all the stress has pushed you into early labor." Both of our eyes widened. "Wh-what?! We don't have my hospital bag packed; we don't have any of the babies stuff!" The doctor quickly shook his head. "I'm not comfortable letting you go into labor at twenty-seven weeks. So, we are going to stop the labor but you will have to be on bed rest until you give birth." I sighed but nodded. "We are going to keep you here for a while for observations, and if everything goes well you will be discharged this evening." I nodded as he walked out. "Where are you staying?" I bit my lip, knowing he would be very upset with me for sleeping in the waiting room. "I don't know. I slept in the waiting room last night." "You what?!" I leaned me head back, looking up at him with doe eyes. "Why would you do that, darlin?"

"I didn't know if you were alive, and the girl at the nurses’ station was a grade A bitch. I wasn't leaving till I saw you." I crossed my arms over my chest, looking out the window. He chuckled, pressing a kiss to my head. "I love you, Mrs. Floyd." I turned to face him, his lips softly landing on my own. "I love you too, Mr. Floyd." His hand rubbed my belly, bringing me a little comfort. "I love you too, Ducky." He said leaning down and kissing my belly. "Okay, go. You need to train if you're gonna come home to me. No more accidents." His gorgeous blue eyes stared into my own. "You know, you two were the only things I could think of when we burned in. The thought of leaving you two alone, it killed me." I gave him a teary smile as he kissed me again. "That's why you're training, so you don't leave us alone." He nodded, kissing my head before standing in his flight suit. "I will figure out where you're going to stay until I get back. You're on bed rest and I don't want you too far." I nodded and pointed to my purse. "And I guess I will find a sub for my class." He handed me my purse and kissed me one more time before, begrudgingly, leaving.

I found a sub and relaxed the rest of the day and soon, as I was getting dressed to be discharged, Robby came back in after his day of training, showered and in a fresh set of jeans and a white t-shirt. "Hi, honey." I said, taking his face in my hands and placing a kiss to his lips. "Help me?" He nodded, clipping my bra and helping me pull my leggings on. I groaned as I sat on the bed, leaning back so he could slip my shoes on me. "I'll be glad when I can dress myself." He chuckled as someone knocked on the door. "Come in." The door opened and I turned, surprised to find Rooster there. "Oh, hi!" I said, attempting to sit up. Robby chuckled, taking my hands and pulling me up. "Sorry. I'm just a little big to be sitting up without rolling off the bed." I said and he laughed. "Honey?" I turned to Robby who looked nervous. "I didn't feel comfortable putting you in a hotel room. But Rooster has a spare room in his house and said you're more than welcome to stay with him." I bit my lip, nervous. It wasn't that I didn't trust Rooster, he seemed kind and caring but I would be invading his space, and a lot of it.

"Oh, Rooster. I appreciate it but I don't want to invade your space." He shook his head. "No problem, it was my parents’ house and honestly, it's a little quiet in there. If it makes you feel any better, my roommate in college got pregnant and I helped her through the entire pregnancy. So, I have some experience." I smiled at him but opened my mouth to protest. "I'm not giving you an option on this one." I raised a brow at him in surprise. "I never tell you what to do, but I am now. You need someone there with you when I can't be, and I trust Rooster." I sighed, knowing there was no point in fighting with him. "Okay." He kissed my forehead before helping me stand. We took my car, following Rooster to his cute little bungalow about a mile off base. Robby grabbed my bag as Rooster helped me inside. "Okay, guest room is upstairs. I'll show you." Robby and I followed Rooster upstairs and into the medium sized room. It had a bed, a dresser and a small chair in the corner. "Okay, it's not huge but the bed is really comfortable, and the sun keeps the room warm." I smiled as I sat in the chair, finding it was comfortable. "Thank you, Rooster. I really, really appreciate this." I said as my hand fell to my belly.

"No problem, I'll let Bob help you get settled. How does chinese sound?" I moaned as my head fell back. "Heavenly." He chuckled, turning to Robby. "You staying for dinner?" He nodded as Rooster stepped out and Robby helped me get settled. "I don't know how I'm going to sleep." I said as I refolded a shirt before handing it to him to put in the dresser drawer. "I know, and I'm sorry, honey. I am just more comfortable with you being here than in some hotel farther away from base. I'll be here every evening after training, until I absolutely have to be back on base." I smiled, leaning up and kissing him. "And I'll be right here waiting for you."

I was, Robby came by every evening and only left when he had to. As for me, I wasn't sleeping. "Hey." I jumped slightly, turning to see Rooster leaning against the kitchen door frame. "I'm sorry, Rooster. Did I wake you?" He shook his head. "No, I got up to use the bathroom and noticed the light from upstairs." I nodded, eating the croissant I pulled from the container I got from the grocery store. "How do you feel?" He asked, leaning against the stove, drinking his water. "I'd be better if ducky would get off my bladder and stop rolling around." He raised a brow. "Ducky?" I nodded. "We don't know the gender and we got tired of saying 'it' or 'they'." Suddenly, Ducky rolled around, making me groan. "Ducky is also upset Robby isn't here. He's the only one who can calm ‘em." Rooster grinned at me, coming closer as Ducky stuck their foot in my rib. "Wanna feel?" He nodded and I grabbed his hand, placing it on the left side of my belly. "Hang on." I said, shifting his hand before we both gasped, mine in pain and his in amazement. "That always amazes me." He said as Ducky kicked his hand again before stopping all together.

"Ducky stopped." He said and I nodded. "Sure did. Your hands are about the same size as Robby's, probably thinks your him." He removed his hand, and thankfully, Ducky stayed still. Rooster finished his water and turned to leave before I stopped him. "Rooster?" He turned to me, a soft smile on his face. "What are the odds Robby doesn't come home?" I asked as tears gathered in my eyes. "Well, I can tell you they're choosing two teams and with his and Phoenix's accident, their chances of being chosen are a little slimmer. But Phoenix is one of the best pilots I know, and Bob is an amazing WSO so it's not impossible they'd be picked. But I can promise, we'll all do their best to bring him home." It made me feel a little bit better knowing he had a team who would do their best to bring him home. "Thank you, Rooster. That does make me feel a little better." I said as I stood. "Now, let's go back to bed before Ducky decides to wake up and roll around some more." He chuckled, helping me back upstairs and into the guest room. "Goodnight, Rooster." I said as I sat on the comfy bed. "Goodnight."

"Our mission was moved up." Robby said as we sat on Rooster's sectional, my feet in his lap as he rubbed them. My eyebrows shot up in confusion. "What?" They nodded. "A whole week." I groaned, my head falling back. "Well, at least that means this is all over faster. Then we can go home." He nodded, kissing my forehead. That night, with a lot of help, Bob and Rooster took me to the Hard Deck. It was so odd being pregnant and in a bar. "Here, mama." Penny, the bartender and owner said, setting two glasses of water down in front of Robby and I. "Thank you, Penny. I hate to be a bother, but can I also get an order of those loaded tots?" She nodded, putting in the order. "Bob, come on. Play a round." Hangman called and Robby kissed me sweetly, before getting up and going over to the pool table.

Penny came back, setting the basket of tots down in front of me. "So, how are you feeling, having to be on bed rest and all?" I sighed, leaning back. "It's killing me. I'm a busy body. I'm used to getting to work at seven and staying till four, then I'm usually bustling around the house until Robby and I go to bed. Now, Rooster gets me set up on his couch before he leaves for work, and I stay there most of the day." She gave me a small smile. "I was on bed rest with Amelia. We were high risk, so I spent most of my time on the couch as well." I sighed, resting my chin in my hand. "And now their mission was moved up and I'm worried. What if something happens while they're gone? I'll be all alone." She smiled, resting her hand between my shoulder blades. "You're not alone. You can call me any time, day or night. If you have a question, or if somethings wrong. I live ten minutes from Rooster, so I'm close by if you need me." I smiled at her.

"That makes me feel so much better, thank you Penny." She nodded. "Stop by the bar before you leave, and I'll give you my number." I nodded, and she rubbed my back before standing and walking back to the bar. "Everything okay?" Robby asked as he came over, pool cue in hand as he picked up his water. "Yeah, Penny is gonna give me her number before we leave. She said she would help keep an eye on me while you guys are gone. Which makes me feel a lot better." He visibly relaxed, his head tilting slightly. "That makes me feel a lot better too, darlin'." He said before leaning over the table, kissing my forehead. Everything would be okay, it had to be.

The end of the week I stood on the docks, Robby holding me close as his lips rested on my forehead. Penny standing behind us, ready to take me home when they left. "We'll be back before you know it." His words caused me to sob as I wrapped my arms around him. "Come home to me." He sighed as one hand drifted down over my belly. "Honey, you know I can't promise that." I stood straight, looking into those blue eyes that I fell in love with. "No! You promise me this time Robby! Please!" I begged as I fisted his shirt. "Darlin-" "Robby, please!" I was a wreck, burying my face in his chest. I had been upset saying goodbye before, but my gut didn't feel right. I wanted to beg him to stay, but I knew I couldn't. He would've been ripped from my arms anyway, so this was the next best thing. "I can't promise you that." His words broke me, my shoulders shaking violently as he held me. "I can't live without you, Robby."

He swayed us back and forth as he held me. I'm sure I was attracting a lot of attention, but I didn't care. The horn on the ship blew, saying it was time for them to board. "No. No!" I yelled as Penny gently grabbed my shoulders. "Honey." Her grip was firm, but not harsh. "He has to go. He'll be home soon." Robby nodded, taking my hand and kissing my ring. "Here." He said, slipping off his class ring, sliding it on my thumb. "Keep this safe till I come home." I barely managed to nod, the memory of his first deployment playing in my mind. Penny held my head against her shoulder as Natasha came over, resting her hand on Robby's bicep. "Time to go." She muttered. I lunged forward, grabbing her hand. "Natasha. Just, watch out for him and please, try to bring him home." She nodded. "I'll do my best; you just keep Ducky safe in there till we bring him back." I nodded as her hand brushed my large swollen belly before walking away with him. "Are you usually this tore up about him leaving?" Penny asked as she wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "No. Not since his first deployment." She nodded. "What's different?" I sighed, resting my head on her shoulder.

"Him and Natasha were picked to fly this mission. Since his accident I've been betting on them getting made spares, but they aren't." She squeezed me but we were both caught off guard when we saw Robby shove past Hangman and Coyote, rushing towards us. "What's wrong?" I asked when he got within earshot. He never stopped, grabbing my cheeks and pulling me into a searing kiss. "I didn't kiss you goodbye." He said, kissing me again before getting on his knees, kissing my belly. "And you. No more surprises, you be good for your mama." He muttered against my belly, and Ducky decided to kick against his hand that stayed attached to my belly as he stood. "I love you, Mrs. Floyd. More than anything in this world." He said before kissing me one more time. "Lieutenant Floyd!" A tall man yelled behind him. "Better go, Cyclone can be a hard ass." Penny said and he nodded, kissing me one more time. "I'll miss you two." I nodded. "We'll be right here waiting." I said before he sprinted back towards the ship.

Penny and I stood there waving as they set off, the ship growing smaller and smaller as it drifted. After a few minutes Penny turned to me, "Do you want to stay a while?" I shook my head immediately. "It won't do me any good. My back is killing me anyway." I said as I pressed on my lower back. Penny smiled at me and took me back to Rooster's. The rest of the week dragged by this bed rest was killing me. But what killed me more was the no contact rule Robby had. I could only wonder what was going on out there, in his world. Halfway through the week Penny called, telling me she forgot she promised her daughter, Amelia, she would take her on a sailing trip this week. I told her to go, but she decided to wait until the day everyone came home. I was buzzing that morning, excited and nervous. I wanted to hold Robby in my arms, but what if he doesn't come off the ship?

Soon, I couldn't stand it and decided to go to the docks an hour early. When I arrived, there were only a handful of people there, milling about, making conversation with each other. I stood in my sundress, hair hanging down around my shoulders, and sunglasses covering my eyes. The sun beamed down as I wrapped my hands under my belly, ducky rolling around, making me groan. "Ducky, please. Your daddy will be home soon." I started swaying in hopes it would soothe ducky, but no such luck. "Do you want to sit?" I turned to see who spoke, seeing a woman around my age with a little girl in her lap. Normally I would say no but sitting sounded too good right now. "Yes, please." I said as she slid over, allowing me to sit next to her.

"How far along are you?" She asked, nodding to my belly. "Twenty-nine weeks. She tried coming two weeks ago, but the doctor stopped my labor." She smiled at me. "Grace here came at twenty-five weeks. We spent a while in the NICU, but now, she's the happiest baby." I smiled as the little girl reached out, resting her hand on my belly. "I'm Maria." I smiled at her, giving her my name before looking back at Grace. "How old is she?" I asked as she wrapped her hand around my finger. "Eight months." She said as Grace leaned forward, resting her head on my belly, making us laugh. We sat there talking for a while until finally the ship docked. I knew it would be a little longer before his group would deboard, so I sat there with Maria until her husband rushed forward, gathering both of them in his arms. Maria introduced me to her husband before they left.

With that, I was alone. I decided to stand, wandering through the crowd as I held the bottom of my belly. After another twenty minutes, and his group started stepping off. Rooster stepped off first, looking rough. Mav almost matching him as far as cuts and bruises went. My heart rate sped up as his team filed off, Hangman, Phoenix, Coyote, and the rest of the team. My breathing became labored as I didn't see him, that is, until he came rushing off the ship. Tears spilled down my cheeks as I saw him attempting to look over everyone, looking for me. I put my hand up, catching Rooster's attention who grabbed Robby's shoulder, turning him to me. His smile lit up his face as he rushed over. He dropped his bag just before he got to me. "You're home!" I cried as he gently wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. His hands rubbed my back as he buried his face in my neck. "I'm here. I'm here." He reassured me. Soon he pulled back, lifting my sunglasses to rest on top of my head and brushing hair from my face. "Oh, I love you." He whispered before he leaned in, his lips pressing against mine. Our lips molded together, warm and familiar as my hands rested on his neck as his wandered to my belly. He held me as close as he could with my belly in the way. He pulled away, resting his forehead on mine.

"How was Ducky while I was gone?" He asked as he rubbed my belly. "Fine. But honey, Ducky is gonna have to play a sport. They've spent a lot of time rolling around in here." He chuckled, getting on his knees, kissing my belly. Ducky kicked his hand, making his bright smile cover his face. "Oh my god, I have missed you two." He chuckled as he stood, kissing me again. "I told you; we'd be right here waiting for you." He smiled, kissing me again, stealing my breath. Soon we went back to Rooster's where the boys showered as I tossed some sandwiches together for them. "So, I got orders to relocate." Robby said as he held me. "What?" I asked as my face fell. "We're ten weeks out and Ducky will probably be here before that. Where?" I rushed out as he tried to calm me down. "Here. Miramar." I groaned, resting my head on his shoulder. "When does it go into effect?" I asked as he rubbed my back. "For me, immediately."

"What are we gonna do? All our stuff is still in Lemoore, including all the baby stuff. We finished the nursery, I mean, Robby we had dreams of raising kids in that house! It'll take forever to get base housing; we'll have to stay in a hotel until something becomes available!"

"What about living off base?" Rooster asked as he came in, rubbing his hair with a towel. "There's a house just down the road that's been on the market for a few months. You guys are also more than welcome to stay here as long as you need." My shoulders slumped, feeling defeated. "Hey," Robby said, pulling me into him. "It can't hurt to look at the house. Who knows, we may fall in love with it." I nodded my head slightly as I wrapped my arms around his midsection. "Okay." And we did. We met with the realtor and fell in love with the two story bungalow. It had four bedrooms, three and a half baths, large kitchen that I couldn't wait to get in. But what sealed it for us was the enormous backyard that had a white privacy fence around it. We put in the bid and now we could only wait.

"We still have to get all of our stuff. That's gonna take time." I said as I laid my legs across Robby's lap. His strong hands immediately found my feet, making me moan in pleasure. "Fuuuuuuck." He chuckled as he massaged my feet. "We can hire movers." I bit my lip. "Yeah, but that will cut into the cost of the house, if we get it of course." He hummed before we sat there in silence. "You think your parents would come out and help?" I groaned, my head falling back on the couch. "Probably, but then they won't leave until Ducky arrives. I love my mother but seven to ten weeks of her is too much." He chuckled and nodded. "What if the team helped you guys move?" Bradley said as he sat on the other side of the sectional. "We couldn't take up your leave like that." I said and he shrugged. "I really don't think anyone is going to mind. Even if everyone else says no, I'll help." I smiled at him before turning to Robby. "We're keeping him around." I said, making them laugh.

That night was the first night we shared a bed in weeks. Robby laid his head on my chest, his hand rubbing my belly as mine played with his hair. "Have you thought about if they're a boy or a girl?" He asked me. "I'm set on a girl." I said and he smiled. "Me too." I bit my lip, looking up at the ceiling. "So Violet Marie Floyd for a girl." He nodded. "And Zachary Robert Floyd if it's a boy." My heart pounded at the thought of our baby being named after him. "I love you Mr. Floyd." He grinned, placing a kiss to my collar bone. "I love you, Mrs. Floyd." He still made my heart flutter, and I had a feeling he always would. That weekend the team went with us back to Lemoore to get all our stuff. We rented a U-Haul and hit the road. Once we got there I was exhausted, only wanting to sit on the couch. "Where do we start first?" Hangman asked. "I would start with the kitchen. We'll leave the bedroom furniture and couch for last that way if we have to stay the night, we have places to sleep." They nodded and set off. "Hey, honey!" I called from my spot on the couch.

"Yeah?" He asked, coming to stand next to the couch and running his hand through my hair. "Could you bring me some of our clothes, or the baby’s clothes? I'll fold them." He sighed, squatting down and resting his hand on my leg. "Are you sure you should be here? You seem exhausted." I nodded. "I am, and my back kills. But our obstetrician cleared me for this, so long as I don't lift anything heavy." He pursed his lips but nodded. "Okay." With that he kissed my head and went to get me some clothes. By the next day we were home, and within two weeks we closed on the house down the road. "We'll get out of your hair, Rooster." I said as I carried a small bag in my hands, Robby not letting me carry anything else. "I'm actually gonna miss you guys being here. I've gotten used to the noise." Rooster and the team helped us get the nursery set up, painting, hanging curtains, setting the crib up.

And just in time too. Two days later I was lying in bed, staring at the clock. A harsh cramp shot through my belly, and after a minute it went away. Five minutes later another and after thirty minutes of contractions I turned to Robby. "Robby." I said and before I could reach for him, he sat up. "Are you okay? Is it time?" I nodded. "It is." His grin lit up his face before he leaned forward, his lips landing on mine as his hands cradled my face. "It's time. Oh my god." I could see tears welling in his eyes. "It is, we have time but let's not wait too long." He nodded. "Okay, let's get you changed into something warmer, and I'll get dressed." He leapt up, getting us dressed before we made our way downstairs. Robby drove us to the hospital, and soon we were in a room. "Get some sleep Robby, it'll be a while." He shook his head, pulling a chair up and grabbing my hand. "No, you get some rest. I'll be right here waiting when you wake up." I leaned down, kissing him softly before closing my eyes and attempting to get some rest.

There was no rest, even after my epidural. After eighteen hours, my legs were in the stirrups, and Robby held my hand, his other hand wiping sweat from my forehead. "Come on honey, just a little more." He said as I was mid push. "I see the head!" The doctor called, but I eased up as the contraction ended. "I can't. Robby I can't." I cried as he brushed loose hairs from my sweaty forehead. "We can't back out now. Ducky is almost here." He said as he knelt on the bed next to me. "You are strong, and brave. Now, we're right at the end here. So, on this next contraction, you have to push darlin." I took a deep breath and nodded as the next contraction hit. "Okay, mama. We need you to push." I did as the doctor said, a scream ripping from my throat. "IT'S A GIRL!" The doctor yelled, but it was quiet. "Why isn't she crying?!" I asked in a panic. Anxiety shot through me as I sat up, squeezing Robby's hand. I watched as a nurse suctioned something from her mouth and soon, a noise more beautiful than anything else I'd ever heard echoed throughout the room.

"Here mom." A nurse said, opening my gown to lay her on my chest. "Oh my god." I said as tears rolled down my face. "Hi, sweetie. Hi Violet." Robby said, running his hand over her head, little tufts of hair covering it. "Darlin', she's perfect. Thank you." He said as he kissed my lips softly. Robby changed that day, in the best way. I knew he loved me, but his love for Violet was beyond comprehension. Mine was as well, but they immediately formed a bond that made them inseparable. "I love you. Yes, you're perfect." He said as he cradled her in his arms. She had to stay in the hospital for a few days, as her bilirubin levels were higher, and she became Jaundiced. Robby and I stayed with her as much as possible, rotating out when we were there but soon, we got to bring her home.

That was terrifying. No one else there to monitor her except Robby and me. But it was a breeze, she was an easy baby, not giving us many problems. I waited till the next school year to go back to work, wanting time with Violet and Robby. But finally, the time came, and I started at a school on base, Violet going to daycare just up the street. I was excited to go back, ready to be back in a classroom and teaching. But that first day, I realized something. "I want to go back to school for my PhD." I told Robby that evening. "Hm, Dr. Floyd. I like it." He said as he wrapped his arms around me. "So, you're okay if I go back to school?" He nodded, kissing me sweetly. "Anything you want, honey. I'll be there to support you." I squealed, wrapping my arms around him. "Thank you!" He chuckled, swinging me around until a scream from the floor caught our attention. Violet sat on the floor, her bottom lip wobbling as she looked at us. "Oh, did we leave you out of the love?" Robby asked, swooping her off the ground. Seven months old and she was a daddy’s girl through and through. I walked over as he held her, wrapping my arms around him. We both kissed her cheeks, making her giggle as she sat in her father’s arms.

With that I started on my PhD and poured myself into work and my family, and on Violet's second birthday I walked up to Robby. "I have a present for you." He furrowed his brows as he hung streamers along a wall in the living room. "It's Violet's birthday, not mine." He said as I held out the little box to him. He kept one arm around my waist as he opened the box. "You're serious?" He asked, looking to me with teary eyes. "You're pregnant again?" I nodded as he kissed me. "Yes, we're having another baby." I said as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, kissing him sweetly. That evening once both of our parents and the dagger squad arrived, we announced it. "OH MY GOD!" My mom screamed, rushing me as I stood next to Robby. Throughout the nine months I was pregnant, it was fairly easy, much like my pregnancy with Violet, without stress sending me into early labor. But soon we welcomed Zachary Robert Floyd into the world. He's the one that pushed our boundaries, seeing just how far we could go. He was also, of course, Violet's little brother and the one she'd tease constantly.

But a year after Zach was born, I finished my PhD, and scored a job at a university on base. "You're going to kill it today." Robby said as he took my hand, helping me out of the car. "I love you, Mr. Floyd." I said, kissing him softly before pulling away. "I love you too, Doctor Floyd." He annunciated, making me grin. "Okay, go. I can't have you being late. Maverick will humiliate you if you are." He nodded, getting back in as I walked inside and into my office. I had been here a few days prior setting it up, but I had one last thing to add to the shelf above my desk. A picture of Robby and I, both holding the kids. Him with Violet in his arms and me with Zach. I smiled at it before heading into the lecture hall. Many of my students were already here, scrolling on phones or laptops, not paying me any attention. After ten minutes almost every seat was full, and my heart was pounding with nerves. I picked up my phone, texting Robby.

I'm shaking, what if I screw up?

I set my phone down, pulling up my syllabus on the screen before looking back at my phone.

You won't. You're Dr. Floyd, a kick ass history professor and my amazing wife and beautiful mother of my children. You know your lecture in and out, there's no doubt in my mind you'll do great.

Tears welled in my eyes that I had to wipe away. 'I got this, I can do it'. I told myself before standing in the middle of the floor. "Good morning." I said and got a mumbled response back, something I wasn't used to as my high school students would echo back loudly. "I am Dr. Floyd. My degree is from the University of Maryland, where I'm from. Also, where I met my husband who was in the Naval Academy at the time. We are now stationed here permanently on North Island, and we have two kids." I was trying to personalize myself with them, maybe make them more comfortable. First days are uncomfortable for everyone. "College history is a little different from high school. There is no sugar coating the horrors that took place. It can make you feel uncomfortable, which is good, that's how we prevent these things from repeating. But history isn't all bad, we had great things happen. The discovery of DNA, signing of the Magna Carta, the development of CPR, discovery of Vaccines, the Suffrage Movement. We hear a lot about the bad, I also want to highlight the good. Now, before I go over the syllabus, any questions?" My smile took over my face as many hands shot up. Maybe I would be good at this.

A few years later, Robby and I celebrated ten years together. Of course, we celebrated when I handed him another pregnancy test. "Really?" I nodded as he took my face in his hands, kissing me fervently. "Baby Floyd number three!" We cheered. Little did I know, this pregnancy would be much different. I was sick the entire pregnancy, up until the last few weeks of it. But my back killed by that point, I was so big I could barely waddle. I was twelve days late and if I didn't go into labor the next two days, I would be induced. "I can't anymore." I cried as I sat on the edge of the bed. Robby held me close as I cried. The kids were at school and daycare while Robby and I were at home, hoping I would go into labor. "I know, darlin'." He said as he kissed my head. "We've done everything we know to induce labor." He said as I continued to cry. Until it hit me. I sat up straight, looking up at him. "Have sex with me." He furrowed his brows. "You sure? You haven't wanted me to hardly look at you this whole pregnancy." I nodded, scooting back and laying on the bed, attempting to push my shorts down my legs. "Yes, now get your pants off and come on!" I demanded. He stripped before helping me to get my own clothes off.

"Hey." He said as he grabbed my thighs, hiking them on his hips. I looked up at him as he leaned down, kissing my cheeks, cleaning them of the tears. "No matter what, we'll be okay." He said and I stared up at him. He gave me a small smile and I reached up, my hand resting on his cheek before slowly traveling up into his hair. My other hand grabbed the stem of his glasses, pulling them off and setting them on the bed side table. "I know we will, we always are." He smiled, leaning down and kissing me gently. His hands held my hips gently as my fingers entwined in his hair. He kissed from my lips, down my cheeks until he got to my neck, where he paused licking under my ear. A moan slipped through my lips, making his cock twitch between my legs. "You're sure about this?" He muttered against my neck before he kissed his way down, taking my nipple in his mouth. "Yes." It was a high-pitched whine. The sight of him leaned over me, nipple in his mouth, cock ready for me had me soaked. "Robby, please." I begged, my nails raking across his shoulders. "Whatever you want, honey." He said as he grabbed his cock, nudging my entrance.

I gasped as he entered me, it's been months since we've had sex, so I had to readjust to his size. "Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?" I shook my head, my arms wrapping around his shoulders as he kissed my neck. "No, Robby move, please." I could feel him grin against me, thrusting into me gently. "Fuck, darlin'. God, I've missed you." He moaned out. He sat up, sitting back on his calves as he held my hips. "You look so pretty beneath me, so full of me." He had a raging breeding kink and at almost forty-two weeks pregnant that shouldn't turn me on, but it did. His hand ran over my belly before his hand slid up, grabbing my breast as he fucked me. Soon I felt a cramp ripple through me, but I didn't want to stop. I had missed him, and it would be weeks before we could be this close again. He had a glow to him, a thin sheen of sweat covered his body, making him glow. "Robby." I cried as he rolled my clit in his fingers. "Come on, darlin'. I know what you need." He mumbled as he continued to thrust into me. His hair was a mess from where I had my hands in it, his lips swollen from all the kissing we've done. "I love you." I moaned as he rubbed my clit, making my core tighten. "I'm gonna cum, fuck Robby, I'm close." I cried as he smirked at me before he leaned down, taking my nipple into his mouth again. The stimulation was enough to push me over the edge. "Fuck!" I cried out as I came, clenching around his cock, legs shaking. His jaw dropped as he came inside me, making him look almost ethereal.

He laid next to me, laying his hand on my belly. "Anything?" I nodded as another contraction hit. "Yep, contractions started not long after we did." He shot up as his eyes widened. "What?! Why didn't you tell me?!" I giggled, pulling him into my kiss. "I wanted a little more time with my husband." He just sighed, resting his forehead on mine. His hand rubbed my belly. "I love you too." I smiled at him, and we laid there, waiting on my contractions to get closer together.

And they did, but ducky number three was difficult, not wanting to come out easy like the other two. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Floyd. You need to have a C-section." I was breathing heavily as I looked up at Robby. "Is that the only way?" He asked as he held my hand, swiping my hair from my forehead. "If she keeps up her chances of losing her or the baby or both increase exponentially." We both nodded immediately. "Do it." He nodded and soon I was rolled into an OR as Robby stood next to me, holding my hand. "It's gonna be okay. You both are going to be okay." He said as tears welled behind his glasses, as he held my hand. I cried when they laid our baby on my chest. "Hi." I cried as he looked at me, eyes matching his daddies. "Hi, Michael." Michael William Floyd was our third baby. He was the perfect baby like Violet was, generally happy most of the time, even when you'd expect him to be upset. Four weeks after Michael was born, Robby got deployed for an entire month. "NO!" Violet screamed as she held onto her father. "Baby, daddy will be back." I said as I crouched down next to her, holding onto her so she wouldn't chase him down. Michael and Zach were sitting in the double stroller thankfully, I couldn't handle all three loose.

Robby came over and crouched down in front of her, her little arms going around his neck as he did. "Daddy, don't go." She mumbled into his shoulder. He looked at me, tears running down his face at her little voice. "Baby, I have to go. But I'll come back, I'll always fight to come back to you." She cried as he pulled away, clinging on to him as best she could. "Here, I want you to keep this safe for me." He said as he held out his class ring to her. Her sobs turned into little hiccups as her head rested on his collar bone, her little fingers wrapping around the ring. "You ring?" She asked, toying with it. "Yeah, you know I used to give it to mommy when I went away. It was my way of telling her I would be home soon." Violet looked up at him, her eyes that were an exact replica of his, showing the love and adoration she had for him. "I'll be back, baby. I promise." He said as he pressed a kiss to her forehead, taking her into his arms and standing. "Can you be good for mommy while I'm gone? Help her with your brothers?" She nodded, resting her head on his shoulder. "I don't feel good leaving you alone here. You're still recovering from your surgery, a major surgery." He emphasized. "I'll be fine. I will just have to take it easy for a while, and that means you'll have to walk on your own two feet little missy." I said as I tickled Violet's belly, making her giggle. It was still the most beautiful noise I'd ever heard. "Bobby!" Hangman cheered as him, Coyote and Rooster walked over. Violet grinned, reaching for her uncle Jake. Those two get into all sorts of trouble together, making him her favorite uncle, but Rooster was Zach's favorite. "TOOSTER!"

Rooster reached down, plucking him from the stroller. "How's my little buddy?" Zach pulled his thumb from his mouth, looking at him. "Tired." He said as he laid his head on his shoulder. Soon the boat signaled it was time for them to board, Hangman handed Violet back to Robby who squeezed her tightly. "I'm coming home, okay?" She nodded but the tears running down her face told me she still wasn't happy. Rooster set Zach back in the strolled and Robby set Violet on the ground as I crouched down, taking her in my arms. "DADDY!" She screeched as I held her. Robby had tears streaming down his face as he boarded the ship. Violet flailed in my arms as we watched the ship set off, I tried to give her a few minutes but soon half an hour went by, and she was still inconsolable. I wasn't supposed to lift her but as she laid on the ground, I knew she wouldn't get up any time soon.

"Vi, come on baby. Let's go home and get you some lunch." I grabbed her under her arms and as I lifted her, I felt the pull in my belly, but she decided to kick her feet. Landing a kick right to my incision, making me yell out. I was already stressed about Robby leaving and she wasn't helping. Wrangling the kids while recovering from surgery was so hard, and I felt like a failure most of the time. Violet cried most of the week, in turn making her brothers cry. The only relief we got was when we all piled into the bed at night, little feet in my side as Michael slept in his bassinet next to the bed. The day Robby came home the kids had been awful and I wasn't handling it well. When he walked through the door, I was breastfeeding Michael, almost falling asleep as Violet and Zach fought with each other over toys.

I barely managed to give him a smile before he came around the couch. He kissed my forehead before our oldest two tackled him to the floor. The noise didn't go away, but now, it was easier to deal with and everything felt right in the world. Soon he managed to come around and sit on the couch with me, taking Michael when he was done eating. "I got him, honey." I shook my head. "You just got home, why don't you go shower?" He shook his head. "I just want to hold you both for a while." He said as he held Michael and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. That night after we ate dinner, Robby attempted to pull me into the shower with him. "No, Robby. You shower in peace. I should stay out here so if one of the kids wake up-" "They won't. Come on, I just want to be close with my wife." I wanted to, but after having my C-section, I didn't feel like myself and I didn't want him to see me. "No." I shook my head, pulling away.

He let me go, and I closed the door behind me. I checked on Michael in his bassinet before deciding to just go ahead and lie down. I was exhausted and in pain. I haven't had proper downtime since a little before Robby left and I was paying for it now. So, I laid in the bed, covers pulled up to my chin, darkness laying over me like a blanket. Robby came out of the bathroom, turning the lights off before walking down the hall to the kids’ rooms. It's what he always does, he goes and watches them for a few before coming back. I was comfortable and warm when he came in, but not asleep. I felt his hand brush some hair off my forehead, back into the bun I've had in for a week.

"Mommy's not herself, huh buddy." I opened my eyes to see him bent down into the bassinet, his finger brushing Michael's cheek softly. "I guess I wouldn't be either if I'd done all the things she has. She gives me you and your brother and your sister. You kids and your mama make my life complete." Michael gave a yawn in response, making Robby's shoulder's shake in a chuckle. "Goodnight, little buddy. I love you." He leaned into the bassinet, kissing his chubby cheek before coming around to his side of the bed. I shifted closer to the edge as he laid down on his side of the bed. I wanted more than anything to roll over and curl into him, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I looked even worse than when he left. My shirt was covered in milk stains, my hair was all kinds of knotted, I haven't had a proper shower in a week, only able to get in long enough to rinse off. So, as we laid there in the dark, I felt more distant from my husband than ever. The thought gutted me, tears streaming down my cheeks as I silently cried.

"Okay!" He jumped up, turning on the lamp on his side of the bed. "I can't take this. Darlin', please, just look at me." I didn't until he reached across me, his hand cradling my cheek and coercing me to roll over. "I need you to talk to me. I can't help you if you don't and to be honest, you're scaring me right now." Sobs racked my body as his blue eyes gazed down at me. "I'm such a bad mom!" I cried and he sighed, pulling me into his lap as he sat back against our headboard. "You're an amazing mom-" "No I’m not! Every time I turned around, I was just yelling at the kids because they just wouldn't behave! I let them eat candy for breakfast, watch as much tv as they wanted. I just couldn't handle it! How can I be a good mom if I don't make them eat healthy, or make them play outside?" He sighed, pressing his lips to my forehead. "Stop. You're a good mom and you were put in a situation you've never really been in, and you've also been recovering from surgery. You did what you could." He muttered against my forehead, his hands holding me close as his thumb rubbed my side.

"There's more to it though. I can tell." My eyes were locked on Michael's bassinet. "I hate myself." It was barely a whisper, but he heard it. His hands stopped and his hold loosened. "What?" It was as if he couldn't believe me. It's hard to see how we couldn't believe me. "Look at me," I said as I sat up, pushing myself away from him. "I'm a mess, and I've gained so much weight. I look like shit; I feel like shit. How can you even stand to be around me?" I asked as I stood from the bed, pacing next to it. "Honey-" "I'm so fucking gross, Robby. Why don't you feel the same way I do?" I stopped, finally. Standing before him as more tears fell and my body slumped. "Okay first off," He said as he crawled to his knees on the bed, taking my face in his hands. "You're not gross. I don't feel that way about you because I love you. I don't care what you look like. Because to me, you will always be my gorgeous wife and I will always view you as the woman standing at the other end of the aisle looking like a literal angel." He finally sat, pulling me down next to him as he did. "You had a surgery and Michael is our third baby. Your body is going to need time to heal and recover and it's not going to happen overnight. But I don't care about any of that, because this body. It gave me some of the greatest gifts I have ever received. It has given me three more reasons to live, to fight to come home."

He had tears streaming down his own face now, and I felt bad for making him cry. "I think you're gorgeous, and I will never view you as anything less." He was silent for a moment before standing, pulling me with him into the bathroom. "What are you doing, Robby?" He lifted me onto the counter, grabbing the bottom of my shirt, my hands flying out to stop him. "I'm making sure that you never view yourself like this again. We're gonna get you back in the right headspace, honey. I promise." That night I finally let him undress me, his lips placing soft kisses along my body as he did so. A shudder flew through my body as he kissed the curved scar on my belly. He helped me into the shower, joining me as he took my hair down, knots tugging on my scalp as he did. He gently picked out what he could before washing and conditioning my hair and taking his time to wash my body. Once we were done, he carried me back to bed, but I sighed as soon as we laid down because Michael woke up.

"Stay. I got him." I shook my head, sitting up. "Robby-" "Honey, in all honesty I really just wanna hold him and feed him." I couldn't help but nod and lay back down. "Is there any milk downstairs?" I nodded. "I put some in the fridge the other day for you." He smiled, leaning down and kissing my forehead. "I'll be right here waiting." He nodded before taking Michael downstairs. I laid there thinking about how lucky I am to have such an amazing husband, wondering what I did to deserve him. I tried to stay awake, but I was exhausted and soon drifted off, but I woke up just enough to feel his arms wrap around me and a kiss being placed on my forehead. It got better after that. He spent time with the kids like he wanted and even invited Annette to visit so I could have some time to feel like an adult. He said, "You need time to remember you're a person outside of being a mother and my wife." After talking to my doctor, he put me on some anti-depressants which made a tremendous difference in how I saw the world. I had more patience and was able to be a better mother and wife.

We made great strides as parents and in our careers. "Yo-you wanna make me head of the history department?" Dean Lowden nodded. "We do. Your work has proven that you're one of the best we have and we want you to head up the department." I accepted of course, and as I rushed home I was surprised to see Robby still in his flight suit, which was unusual because he liked to come home clean for the kids. "What's-" "They wanna promote me to Commander!" My jaw dropped before I rushed him, launching myself into his arms. "Oh my god! Oh my god!" I screamed as he held me. "I have news as well!" "Please not another baby, not right now!" I shook my head with a laugh. "The Dean appointed me head of the department!" His jaw dropped as he yelled out. We were both jumping around and yelling as Violet came downstairs. "What's wrong with you two?" She had sass now, at eight years old. "Oh!" Robby said as he swooped her up. "Great things are happening baby girl!" He said as he squeezed her, making her giggle. Soon our other two came downstairs to see why we were all yelling. Zach at six and Michael at four. Things seemed to be right in the world at the moment. "You know, you said something about a baby." His eyebrows shot up. "No, but I think we're done. I think these three are all I want." He grinned, leaning down and kissing me sweetly. "If that's what you want, I'm happy with it."

"Thanks for having us over, guys!" Jake said as he grabbed another beer as he held Violet. "You're welcome, we love having you guys over!" I said as I followed him to set the charcuterie board on the coffee table. The past year since we both got promotions has been great. We were spending so much time with the kids, and each other, we were thriving. As I set the tray down everyone reached for it and I managed to barely get out of the way. I chuckled as I wrapped my arms around Robby, his own holding me close. We watched as the team watched the football game and played with the kids, their own kids joining in. I watched as Michael squealed when Coyote tossed him across his shoulder. "Are we sure we're done having babies?" I asked and just after that, Zach got sick in the hallway. "Yep. We're done." He said as we both grabbed Zach to clean him and the floor.

A few months later I got sick and felt like I was dying. So much so Robby called Rooster and Phoenix to watch the kids while he took me to the ER. I was constantly puking; I hadn't eaten in two days and I was severely dehydrated. Once they got me in, Robby sat with me as they ran tests. "Dr. Floyd. We're going to take you in for an X-ray. Is there any way you could be pregnant?" I shook my head no. Once we decided we were done having kids we went back to birth control and using condoms. "Alright, let's get her in." A nurse grabbed my bed as I looked at Robby. "I'll be right here waiting for you." He leaned down and kissed my forehead before they wheeled me out. They laid me on the table as I felt nauseous again and just as they were about to do the scan the door blew open. "STOP!" I was so confused and growing nervous. "She's pregnant!" "WHAT?!" I yelled, almost rolling off the table.

That was a really hard time for us. We wanted this baby, but our hearts were set on enjoying watching our kids grow without starting over. "It takes two to make a baby!" I huffed as I stormed out into the garage, not wanting the kids to hear us arguing. "No shit sherlock! But you're the one who forgot the condom!" I said as I whipped around to face Robby who followed me out into the garage. "And how do you know you didn't forget a pill? Huh?" I crossed my arms over my chest, giving him a smug look. "Because I checked when we got home from the hospital." He scoffed. "Not hard enough because I also checked and you missed a pill, the same night I forgot the condom!" I furrowed my brows. "There's no way." I pushed past him and rushed up to our room. I pulled the pack from my bedside table, cursing when I saw the pill still in there. "Oh my god." I groaned, sinking down onto the bed. It wasn't that I blamed Robby for this, I should've noticed he didn't grab a condom, but we were all over each other and rushing to get out of our clothes.

"This is on both of us. The blame doesn't fall to just one of us." He said as he sat next to me, but I just jumped up, going into the bathroom. I was mad at myself for letting this happen, mad at our situation. I stayed mad throughout my shower and after we put the kids to bed, as a couple like always, before we silently went to bed ourselves. I'm not sure how long we laid there, both on our backs, staring at the ceiling but soon he spoke up. "I love you." I couldn't help how the corner of my lips twitched upwards. "I love you too." After a moment, his hand found mine under the covers, intertwining our fingers. "We're gonna love this baby just like we love Vi, Zach and Michael. Right?" I could only nod as tears welled in my eyes. "Robby?" "Yeah honey?" It took me a minute to reply, my throat feeling thick as I started to cry. "Hold me?" He rolled over, pulling me into him and I buried my face in his bare chest to cry. The very next morning he told me he scheduled a vasectomy. I was a little surprised, but I wasn't complaining.

Nine months later we welcomed another boy, Alexander Thomas Floyd. The recovery from this c-section was harder physically but easier mentally because Robby got to stay home longer. Violet was older and dying to help as much as possible and so was Zach. Michael wasn't too happy about no longer being the youngest, but he soon grew to adore his baby brother. Not long after Alex was born, Robby's parents came to visit, which was a big help in my recovery and gave Robby and I some time together. In fact, about six weeks after, while his parents kept the kids we went out to the hard deck. "HEY!" Everyone cheered as we walked up. "How you feelin', Mama?" Rooster asked, pulling me into a hug. "I'm sore. But I'm happy to be here." He chuckled before letting me go and I hugged everyone else, saving Phoenix for last. She squeezed me before pulling back, tears in her eyes. "What's wrong?" She shook her head before reaching back into her purse, pulling out an all too familiar stick. "I'm pregnant." She said it so quietly, but I couldn't help but scream. Soon everyone knew and the question came. "Okay, but who’s the baby daddy?" Hangman asked, his arm around his own girlfriend.

Rooster sneakily slid a little closer, his hand on her back. "YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled, smacking his shoulder. "Are y'all dating?" She nodded quickly. "We have been for about eight months. We wanted to keep it quiet for a while, but then this happened." I could tell by the look in her eyes, she was scared, terrified. "Were you guys planning on having a baby?" Rooster shook his head. "That was pure accident." Robby chuckled. "We know a thing or two about accidents." I chuckled, tucking myself into his side. The rest of the night was filled with questions from Natasha and Rooster who both were scared shitless. Once the night was over, Robby drove us to the hotel room he booked. We were giggling like teenagers as we rushed into the elevator and up to our floor. As we approached our room, he lifted me into his arms, bridal style, and carried me into the room before he carefully sat me on the bed, leaning over me. "I love you, Mrs. Floyd." He said as he leaned down to kiss me, but I stopped him with a finger on his lips. "I have a title, Mr. Floyd." He just grinned against my finger. "I love you, Dr. Floyd." I laughed, pulling him into a kiss. "I love you, Commander Floyd."

Soon he pulled us up, dragging me to join him in the shower. His lips were attached to my neck as his hands wandered my body. "Fuck, Robby." He chuckled against my skin as his fingers brushed over my scar. "You keep that up and I'll have to ignore the doctor." I moaned out as he nipped at the space just behind my ear. "No, you won't." He said as he pulled away. I whined as he did so, but he just smiled, and we finished out shower before curling up in the fluffy bed together. "We're really done having kids this time." He said as his hand ran across my belly. I still had baby weight, but I have to remind myself I wouldn't lose it all right away. "Well, I hope so because you got snipped. If I get pregnant, we have a problem!" He chuckled and we laid there in the quiet before finally drifting off.

We made sure to do things like that often, reminding each other we have lives outside of our children and our jobs. It rekindled that spark we had at the beginning of our relationship, not that we ever lost it, we just make time to enjoy it now. As the kids grew, they all formed their own interests. Like Violet, she picked up softball and she fell in love. When she wasn't training, she was working with Bradley who offered to train her in his down time. Zach picked up a fascination for aviation. He loved going on base and seeing the jets take off. But one thing he loved even more was when he turned ten, Mav's gift to him was taking him up in the Mustang. Seeing a smile like that on his face was one of the best feelings as a mom. Michael was super into dinosaurs and every chance he got he was telling us whatever new facts he learned. Alex, well he was still pretty young, so he was into whatever his siblings were into.

When Violet was thirteen, I started noticing differences in my own body. My hormones were raging, and I was constantly upset with Robby even when he did nothing wrong. Then my periods became sporadic. I went to the doctor expecting them to tell me it was just menopause. But I came through the door with a blank look on my face which caused worry to flash across Robby's own face. "Hey, darlin'. What's wrong? What'd the doctor say?" He asked as he took my face in his hands. I shook my head, and he took my hands, leading me to the couch. "Honey, you gotta tell me what's wrong." My mouth opened and closed a few times before I finally pushed the words out of my throat.

"I'm pregnant."

His hands slowly let go of mine, falling into his own lap. "What?" I shook my head. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around it." He pushed off the couch, pacing in front of the fireplace. I watched him for a few minutes before he turned to me, tossing his arms out. "What?" I asked, getting irritated. It took him a moment before he asked a question that sent me reeling. "Are you cheating on me?" I could only stare at him in shock. "No. Absolutely not. I can't believe you'd even ask me that!" I said as I stood up. He scoffed. "I've had a vasectomy and you’re pregnant!" "They don't always work a hundred percent!" This rocked our marriage. We were hardly talking to each other, once the kids went to bed he went to the couch. We didn't want the kids to see it, but they all sensed we were tense with each other.

A few weeks later Robby came in, a sad look on his face. "Can we talk?" I nodded, following him out to the front porch, sitting on the swing we had on the porch. "I want to apologize. I um, went and got tested and the surgery was not one hundred percent successful." I pursed my lips, not really knowing how to respond. "Even if it was, I know you never would cheat on me and I was just so thrown off by the news, that was the first place my brain went to." I nodded, looking down at my legs which were tucked under me. He pushed off the house, coming over and taking my hands in his. "Hey, look at me." I lifted my head, his crystal blue eyes catching my own. "I'm sorry, and I'm excited for this baby." I nodded. "I'm getting a hysterectomy after this one." He chuckled, capturing my lips in a kiss. "I love you, Dr. Floyd." He whispered as he pulled away. "I love you too, Mr. Floyd." I said before pulling him into another kiss. "It is going to be a while before I can forgive you, because that hurt." He nodded, kissing my forehead. "Whatever you need."

Things slowly started getting better, and crashed back down when we told the kids. "You're what?" Violet was now thirteen and took after me when speaking her mind. "I'm pregnant." She scoffed, standing from the couch. "Vi-" "Don't you know what causes that?! I mean isn't four kids enough?!" She yelled before storming upstairs. "Violet Marie!" I called, attempting to follow her before Robby grabbed my arm stopping me. "Just let her cool off, we'll talk to her later." I nodded and we turned to the other three. Zach was eleven now, Michael was nine and Alex was five. They were all whispering to each other before turning to us. We just raised our brows at them, and Zach smirked. "We all agree that we want another brother." All I could do was groan and rest my forehead on Robby's shoulder. "There's too much testosterone in this house." Robby could only chuckle and kiss my head.

As time went on, Violet was still upset with us, and she wasn't letting up. We tried to talk to her, but it never worked. "Violet?" I called. After a minute she padded into the kitchen. "What?" Her tone was snippy, and I wanted to say something but it would be no use. "Could you help me clean the kitchen, please? I'll do dishes while you wipe down the counters and the table?" She huffed but did so anyway. "Done." She said, tossing the dirty rag into the laundry room before rushing up to her room. I sighed and finished the dishes before going up there. I was already starting to show, and my back was feeling it. Robby was kind enough to massage it and I'll have to remember that when we go to bed. "Vi?" I knocked on her door. It was quiet for a moment before I heard her quiet voice on the other side. I opened the door, the darkness taking me by surprise. I walked over to her bed where she was laying down, facing the wall.

I sighed, leaning down and rubbing her arm. "Make room?" I thought she would tell me no, but she just quietly slid closer to the wall. I smiled, grabbing her covers and crawling in, pulling her back into me and placing a kiss on her head. I was trying to think of what to say, but I didn't have to as she started sobbing in my arms. "Oh, baby." I held her as she cried, letting her get it out before I questioned her. "You wanna talk?" I asked. "Why did you guys have to have another baby?" I sighed, pulling her closer. "We didn't plan on any more after Michael. But we were careless, and we got Alex. After your dad's surgery, it was supposed to be impossible. But I guess when they say nothing is impossible, they mean nothing." Her sniffles broke my heart, knowing that a new addition to the family had her this upset worried me. "Why does this have you so upset?" I asked, brushing some hair away from her face. "You'll think it's stupid." I kissed the back of her head as her hand found my arm. "I would never think that anything that has to do with your feelings would be stupid."

Another beat of silence and she spoke up, her voice almost a whisper. "I feel like you have less and less time for me." My heart shattered at her words. I sat up, leaning on her headboard before turning her over, her head on my chest. "I'm sorry that we've made you feel that way, and your feelings are totally valid." She sniffled as her arms wrapped around me. "We can't take this back, and we don't want to. But you are my oldest, my first baby. I love your dad, but you made us realize what love really was. You changed our lives, even before you were born." I held her close, hoping she'd listen this time. "You know, we wanted to be surprised if you were a boy or a girl." She furrowed her brows. "Then what did you call me till I was born?" I giggled. With the boys, we always found out, so we called them their names during my pregnancies. "Ducky." She snorted out a laugh as she held onto me. After a few minutes her hand drifted to my belly, rubbing slightly. "Can we be surprised this time? And call it ducky?" I smiled at the memory of my first pregnancy. "I think that'd be nice."

Things got better after that, and she was fully invested in this pregnancy. The kids loved kissing my belly and talking to ducky, Violet especially. About seven months in, Robby got deployed for a mission. "Be thinking of baby names while I'm gone." Robby told Violet as he squeezed her on the docks. "I will, daddy." She kissed his cheek before he took me by the waist. "This feels too familiar." I muttered after he kissed me. "Reminds me of your pregnancy with Violet." I nodded. "Well, just be careful and I won't be stressed into labor this time." He nodded. "You'll be here when I come back?" I smiled. "Maybe not this exact spot. But we'll be right here waiting." He kissed me again and him and the team headed out. That week at work was when I noticed all the stares. You'd think they would've started when I began to show, seeing as I only told necessary people instead of a department wide announcement. A few women in the department would walk past my office, looking in, pointing and whispering. I knew what they all thought, and I didn't give a damn. At least that's what I told myself.

"Hi." Melissa, another professor in the department said as she knocked on my door. "Can I come in?" I had a class in fifteen minutes, and I really didn't want to talk to her. "No, I- Oh, you're sitting down anyway." I huffed as she clasped her hands together, resting them on her knees. "I just wanted to talk to you about your pregnancy." I raised a brow, curious as to what she thought she had to talk to me about. "Don't you think you're a little old to have another baby? Plus, you have four other kids who need you." I stared at her in shock. I knew she just spouted things off, but this is crossing a line. "I mean, after your pregnancy with Alex, are you sure you want this baby? Is your husband forcing you to keep it?" My hand flew out, smacking her clean across the face and knocking her into the floor. A squeal escaped her as I stood, coming around my desk when people crowded around my door. "Get up!" She scrambled to her feet, not meeting my gaze. "Get the fuck out of my office, and don't come back. How dare you say those things to me. My family and my marriage are none of your business." It was basically a growl, and she ran out of my office as fast as possible. Everyone continued to stare at me which pissed me off even more. "What are you staring at?! Go! I have a lecture to teach!" Everyone ran as I walked out, rushing for the lecture hall.

"Bye daddy!" the kids all screamed as their time on the video call ended, now it was my turn. "Hey, darlin'. How you feelin?" I shook my head. "Like shit. I'm still puking, my back kills, and I'm so damn tired." He gave me a sad smile. "Well just think, eight more days and then I'm home." I nodded. "I also got put on maternity leave early." His brows furrowed in confusion. "What? What happened?" I sighed, trying not to tear up. "Do you think we're too old to have this baby?" I asked as tears started streaming down my face. "What?" I wiped my eyes, trying not to full on sob on this call. "Melissa came into my office and started asking me if I was too old to have another baby. She said I had four other kids who needed me and then she said we weren't too excited about Alex." I stopped to wipe my tears again, hoping my makeup wasn't running. "She even asked me if you were forcing me to keep it! Who thinks that way?" My voice was just growing louder and louder. "I don't even remember reaching across my desk, but I smacked her so hard she landed in the floor." He just stared at me in shock.

"I just feel like maybe she's right." I said feeling defeated. "No honey. Sure, it was a huge surprise, but I don't think you are. The doctor says you're perfectly healthy." I groaned. "I'm forty-two Robby! This is literally considered a geriatric pregnancy!" I said as more tears streamed down my face. "Fuck what she says, and you were right for smacking her!" He exploded. I jumped, his loud voice startled me, taking me by surprise. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "Honey, I know this is hard. But you’ve gone through four other pregnancies, some of which were harder than this one. Tell me, would you trade this baby in for anything else?” I immediately shook my head, but he knew my answer. “This baby is gonna be just as loved as the rest of our kids.” I nodded, feeling a little better. “You’re the most badass mama I know. I can’t think of anyone else who could handle a pregnancy at our age.” I chuckled, cleaning my face off. “Don’t tell Phoenix that.” He laughed. “I think Caroline will be all her and Rooster have.” I nodded. “She sure is a handful.” Caroline was almost four now, her birthday almost exactly nine months after Michael’s and she was the perfect mix of Rooster and Phoenix, in looks and personality. “Time’s almost up, darlin’.” I gave him a sad smile. “KIDS! DADDY’S CALL IS ALMOST OVER! I love you, and we’ll be right here waiting for you to come home.” He smiled. “I love you too.” The thunderous sound of four kids rushing me was enough to make me feel better. Michael crawled into my lap as the other three leaned over the chair waving. “Bye daddy! We love you!” He managed to say one more ‘I love you’ before the screen went black.

“Can we order pizza and watch a movie?” Zach asked. “That sounds great.” Violet snatched my laptop, ordering the pizza for us as the boys tried to agree on a movie. This was what I loved. The kids didn’t always get along, but they surprised me sometimes with how they loved and cared for each other. A few more weeks went by with Violet and the boys helping me get the rest of the nursery set up as well as my hospital bag. We moved Zach and Michael into the same room, and Alex will share with the nursery. Seeing as we only had a four-bedroom house, we had to make room and it has been quite the adjustment. “Mama.” I rolled over, looking past Robby’s side of the bed to see Alex standing in the doorway, blankie in hand as he rubbed his eyes. It was so adorable I thought I would combust. “What is it baby?” He walked over, looking at me from across the bed. “I don’t like my new room.” I sighed, pursing my lips. “This has become a nightly thing, especially since Robby left. “Can I sleep with you?” I nodded. “Come on.” He managed to pull himself into the bed and tucked himself into my side. “I miss daddy.” I sighed. “Me too, buddy. Me too.” His little hand rested on my belly, and I rubbed his back, slowly soothing him to sleep. “Mama?” I looked over to see both Zach and Michael standing in the doorway. “Come on.” I scooted Alex over as Zach came and laid on my other side as Michael laid next to Alex. We all slowly drifted off, but I woke up later feeling something shift the bed.

I looked at the end of the bed, seeing Violet had joined us, laying across our feet with one of her blankets over her. All my babies in one bed? It was cramped but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Finally, I fell back asleep, but woke up once again when I heard footsteps coming down the hall. I sat up, leaning against the headboard, wondering who the hell it could be? I was ready to throw myself out of bed when the figure stopped in the doorway. “Hey darlin’.” I immediately relaxed when I saw Robby leaning against the doorway. He quietly walked over, around to my side of the bed, leaning down to kiss me. His lips were soft against mine as he tucked some of my hair behind my ear. “God, I missed you.” He muttered against my lips. “I missed you too.” He smiled at me, kissing me again before he pulled away, opting to kiss my forehead. “I’m gonna shower really quick.” I nodded as he walked into the bathroom. Once he was done, he came over, looking at the bed. “I’m sorry.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “I can fix this.” He gently grabbed Alex, holding him against his chest as he scooted Michael over before he slid into the bed as he decided to lay down. He held Alex on his chest, running his hand through his blonde curls. “I miss when they were all little and would lay on my chest.” I nodded. “Soon you’ll have another little baby to snuggle.” He nodded. Robby always loved snuggling with the kids, he’d take them, go crawl in bed and take a nap whenever he could. “I love you.” He whispered as he tossed his hand on top of my belly, his thumb rubbing me gently.

That morning the kids piled on him, and he ate it up. I know it’s hard on him when he’s gone so these moments are the ones he cherishes. He made sure to spend as much time as possible with the kids in the weeks leading up to ducky’s birth. But soon, we were in the hospital, and I was going in for my c-section. The doctor also did a cesarean hysterectomy for me, so he took my uterus and ovaries in the same procedure as my c-section. I was a train wreck when they handed me another little boy. I was in pain, and I was overwhelmed. Baby number five and it was another little boy. After a few hours Hangman brought in the kids, they all rushed the bed, Robby stopping them all. “Slow guys. Violet.” He motioned our oldest over, and she stood on the side of the bed staring down at the little boy in my arms feeding. “What name did you come up with?” She stared at him for another moment before looking up at her dad. “Liam James.” It was a perfect fit, and I couldn’t imagine naming him anything else. “You like it?” She asked me and I nodded. “It’s perfect baby.” I pulled her down so I could kiss her forehead and soon, he got passed around, all the kids holding him. Alex struggled even with his dad helping him, once Liam started crying, he handed him off. “I don’t like him. He loud.” It was hard not to laugh at that and over time it didn’t get much better. Poor Alex was having a hard time no longer being the baby, and not too keen on taking on the position of big brother.

Time went on and five years later things changed drastically. Violet was eighteen and she had offers from a few schools to go play softball on a scholarship, and she was struggling on which to choose. “I don’t know which to choose.” She whined as she sat at the island. “Well, you need to look at who has the better biology program.” Violet had taken an interest in Marine Biology and planned to study it wherever she went. She had offers from University of Texas, San Diego State University and University of California at San Diego. She just groaned, looking like she was ready to pull her hair out. “I just wish you could tell me what to do.” I huffed, turning to her. “You want my opinion?” She nodded. “Go to UT. It’s a great way to get a grasp of living out of the house, you can always come home and go to one of the other two after you finish prerequisites if you want.” She nodded. “I needed that.” I knew she’d take it into consideration. That Friday, she had to decide who she would sign with, and I watched as my oldest sat at the table, looking at the different National Letters of Intent in front of her. Robby and I stood by her as Rooster and Hangman stood on her other side. Rooster continued to coach her well through high school and is helping her condition for college ball, Hangman was just dying for her to sign with UT. She took her time, before slowly sliding the UT hat closer to her and signing their contract. “YEAH!” Jake yelled, shaking her shoulders. She stood and I expected her to hug Rooster, but she clung to me. “Thank you for believing in me.” I squeezed her tightly as Robby rubbed her back. “I will always believe in you baby.”

Before we knew it, we headed out to Texas to ger her setup. We took the day and stayed in a hotel that night, the next day we stopped on campus to see her one last time before leaving. “Remember to check the oil in your car every so often. Can’t have it messing up all the way out here.” She nodded, hugging me one last time. Soon she let go and hugged her dad. “You’ll let me know every time you deploy?” Robby nodded. He was now a Rear Admiral, and even though he isn’t in the air as often as he used to be, he still deploys on the ships. “I will. You have my email so you can email me when I ship out.” She pulled away, tears streaming down her face. “We love you, and if you need us, we’re a call away.” It was hard leaving, Robby and I both crying for a few days. But as soon as the tears dried, it was Liam’s first day of kindergarten. It was weird, realizing we just sent our oldest off to college and we’re sending our youngest to kindergarten. “Bye mama!” Liam said before running off. “Wh-what? No! He’s supposed to cry and hold me and beg me not to leave!” Robby pulled me close, a few tears of his own slipping. “He’s always been more outgoing and independent than the others.” I choked back a sob, watching him turn into his classroom. “Come on, honey.” Robby said, turning us around. We were halfway to the front doors when I heard a little voice behind us. "MAMA! DADDY!"

We turned to see Liam sprinting for us, throwing himself into Robby's arms, allowing his father to pick him up. “What is it buddy?” I asked, brushing some hair out of his face as he squeezed Robby’s neck. “I forgot to hug you and say I wove you.” He said turning to me, clinging to me like a Koala. “We love you too, Buddy.” I held him for another minute before he wanted down. I put him on his feet, looking at how small he really was. He stared down the hallway, children and adults filling it to the brim. I could see the hesitation in his eyes, so I crouched down next to him. “Do you want us to walk you back to your classroom?" He nodded, squeezing my hand. He took Robby’s hand, and we led him down the hall, me giving a fist pump as Robby laughed at me. Once we arrived at his classroom, he looked up at us. “Will you be here to get me?” I nodded. “We’ll be right here waiting, buddy.” Robby said before kissing his chubby cheek. He gave us a toothy grin before rushing inside. We thought it would get easier after that, until we were called into the high school principals office for Michael. He was a freshman this year while Zach was a junior. Once we walked in, Michael was sitting in the chair across from the principle, his head lolled back. “Rear Admiral.” The principal shook his hand. “Doctor.” He said before shaking my hand.

We took a seat, Michael between us. “So, Mr. Floyd here was caught purchasing not only marijuana, but also Adderall.” My jaw dropped as I looked to him. “Michael William!” I scolded as Robby shared my shocked look. “The other student has been expelled.” I crossed my legs, very mad. “Michael is an exceptional student, one of the best we’ve had. He even tutors other students during lunch. I don’t want to expel him. So, I wanna give him the chance to redeem himself. I think out of school suspension will be a good way to go, and he continues to tutor students.” We nodded. “I think that’s fair.” He sighed, putting his head in his hands. “His teachers will email him his work and I think being here at five-thirty for tutoring is good.” We agreed wholeheartedly. Soon he was dismissed, and we all walked out. “Mom I-“ I held my hand out. “We will talk when we get home. You are coming with me, and you will sit in my office and do your schoolwork every day, then I will bring you back here for tutoring.” He just nodded, following me out the door. It was frustrating, knowing your child did something that they knew they would be in major trouble for, and even more frustrating because he was mad at Robby and I for how we punished him. “Really Michael?” We were sat out on the back porch, away from his other three siblings. “It’s weed! It’s legal in California!”

“For adult recreational use. You are fourteen, you are not an adult. But that doesn’t matter because not only are you under eighteen, but you also live under our roof, and smoking anything isn’t good for your lungs. Whenever you are over eighteen and out from under our roof, you can do as you please.” He sighed, rolling his eyes. “Roll them eyes one more time and see if they don’t roll down the street!” I snapped, Robby grabbing the finger I pointed at Michael. “Okay, mama. Take a breather.” I was raging, trying to calm myself. “It wasn’t just the weed, Michael. You bought Adderall-“ “It helps me focus!” “You think it does. You have no medical need for it. It’s doing you more harm than good.” Robby said, trying to get him to see reason. “Is that why you haven’t been eating?” He raised a brow at us. “Or why you haven’t been sleeping?” He seemed to fall back, like he’s been caught. “I only started the Adderall two weeks ago. I haven't slept right in months.” My face fell into one of concern. “Why?” He just shrugged, leaning his head back. “I don’t know. I just haven’t been sleeping. I try and try, and I’m lucky if I can be asleep by four or five a.m.” And all the kids are up by six to get ready for school. “Okay. Well, is there anything going on that may be keeping you up? Stress about school? Adjusting to your sister being gone?” He shook his head, not meeting my eyes. “No.” I sighed. I wanted to help him, but it was hard when he didn’t know what was causing it. “Do you want to see a doctor?” He shook his head. I looked to Robby who looked as stumped as me. I looked back to Michael to see his eyes glazed over and it tugged on my heart. “Oh, baby.” I got up, crouching down next to his chair and laying my hand on the arm that was holding his chin. “Talk to me, please.” I was begging at this point. A tear slipped down his cheek, and he mumbled something. “What? I couldn’t hear you.” It was like a damn broke, he leaned over, practically putting his head between his knees. “I don’t wanna be alive.”

I was scared shitless.

I gathered him in my arms, holding him as Robby came over, holding us both. “We’re gonna get you help, buddy. We promise.” Robby said as he rubbed his back and kissed his head. We got him in with a doctor who referred us to a psychiatrist. He started on antidepressants and even started therapy, which he asked to do all on his own. It took a few months, but I started to see parts of my little boy again. The one who loved spending time with his father, cooking with me in the kitchen, and enjoyed watching movies with his siblings. “Mama?” I turned to Michael who was smiling at me from the other side of the island. “Yeah?” I asked as I flipped the burger on the stove. “Thank you. You and dad both for helping me and not judging me.” I smiled, walking over and pulling him into a hug. “I’d do anything to help you. I’ve been in your position before, just after you were born.” He raised a brow at me, looking for an explanation. “Your dad was deployed right after you were born, it was my first c-section, and I was with three kids all alone. It was hard. I didn’t feel like anything other than a mom, I felt like I had nothing outside of that. But your dad came home and bless that man. He got me up, he took care of me and helped me get back to who I was before I had you kids.” I heard a throat clear behind us and we turned to see Robby. “Are you talking about me?” He asked, walking over and tossing his arm over my shoulder. “All good things.” He pecked my lips as Michael leaned away. “God, you two are so gross.” We laughed, looking at each other. “It’s okay. If you have kids, they’ll say the same thing to you.” He shook his head, mumbling something about not having kids and walking away. “I’m glad he’s doing better.” I nodded. “Me too, it’s a relief to know he feels better.”

Two years later, and Zach had graduated high school. He decided to join the navy like his father and wanted to be a pilot, so he applied for the Naval Academy. “Anything yet?” Rooster asked as he walked in. The entire team came over to hear the results, eager to see if Zach would be part of the next generation of fighter pilots. “Not yet.” Robby said as Rooster joined the crowd. Zach was sweating bullets, nervous for this email, so much so he called his sister to have her on facetime while he opened it. Robby rubbed Zach’s shoulders as he refreshed his emails. “Just remember, if you don’t get in, it’s not the end all be all.” Robby uttered to him, and Zach shook his head. “I know.” He groaned. “Oh my god. It’s here!” We all jumped to stand behind him, staring at the screen as he opened the email. He stared at it for a second, the tension building. “Congratulations, you have been accepted to the Naval Academy based in Annapolis, Maryland!” He screamed, standing up and hugging his father. Everyone yelled and congratulated him before he turned to me. “I am so proud of you.” It was terrifying when your kids join the military, especially when you yourself know what it’s like to stand on the other side. But there’s also a sense of pride that flows through you. A few weeks later we all packed up, heading out to drop him at Annapolis. “We love you and we’ll be right here waiting.” He nodded, kissing my cheek before hugging his dad and his siblings. It was hard to watch him go, but he had to start his Plebe summer and he was eager to do it. “You think he’ll be okay?” Robby nodded. “He’ll be fine. He’s our kid.” I laughed at that. “We are pretty resilient.”

And that proved true a few years later. It was Violet’s last year of college, Zach’s sophomore year at the academy, Michael’s senior year of high school, Alex was starting his eighth-grade year and Liam was eight and just loving his little life. “Um, can you go to the doctor with me tomorrow?” Robby asked when he came back from telling Liam goodnight. “Um, sure?” I asked as I rubbed lotion on my legs. “He’s called me back in, wants to talk to me about my CT scan.” I stopped, looking up at him. “Did he say why?” He shook his head. “Nope, he wouldn’t tell me anything over the phone.” That was never good, we both knew that. But we looked on the bright side anyway, having a quiet, passionate night with each other. The next day we sat in the doctor’s office, two chairs across from his desk as he looked at some paper work. “We found something abnormal in your scans, and upon closer look we found it is lung cancer, stage two. So far it is only in your right lung, which is good, that means it hasn’t spread.” I gasped, my hand clutching his tighter than ever. “What are my chances?” Robby asked, both of his hands clutching my one. He voice never wavered, but I could tell by the way he held my hand and spun my wedding ring he was scared and so was I. “Given you are fifty, and age does play a factor, we usually give around a sixty-eight percent chance of survival for five years after remission.” The numbers made me feel slightly better, but those numbers only matter if he makes it to remission.

We worked out a treatment plan and soon went home. We had to tell the kids, and we needed to tell them together, so we waited the additional week before Violet came home after graduation and Zach came home for summer leave. Once they were home Robby didn’t want to wait, so we sat them all down on the couch as Robby and I took a seat on the coffee table. He was scared to tell them, and nervous about their reactions, which was totally understandable. I rubbed his back as he held back tears. “Daddy, what is it?” Violet asked, leaning forward and grabbing his hand. He took a deep breath, Violet’s simple action almost sending him over the edge. “I had to go to the doctor not too long ago and had a few scans done. They found something abnormal, and they determined it was lung cancer.” All at once, I saw five little hearts shatter on the ground. Violet immediately broke down into tears, Michael not far behind her. Zach and Alex were barely holding it in, and poor Liam looked so lost. “Is it terminal?” Violet choked out and Robby shook his head. “No, baby. It’s not. The doctor thinks that if I go through with the chemo and radiation therapy, I have a good shot at going into remission.” Violet leaned over, her head on her knees as she held Robby’s hand. That alone broke him. Tears fell from behind his glasses as he squeezed her hand. “Make room.” He said, separating Violet and Michael and sitting between them. I opted to sit between Alex and Liam, but Liam decided to crawl into my lap. “You’re almost too big for this buddy.” I whispered as I brushed some of his hair back and kissed his forehead.

“So, daddy’s sick?” I nodded as I wrapped my free arm around Alex who was crying. “He is. This isn’t going to be easy on daddy.” He laid his head on my chest as I rubbed his back. “Is daddy gonna die?” God, kids are blunt. How do you answer such a question? “The doctors are gonna do everything in their power to keep that from happening.” He just nodded before climbing out of my lap and walking over to Robby, leaning over his legs and laying his head in his lap. That night we spent some real time together as a family, we ate dinner together, played cards at the table and finished the night all knocking out on the couch. Liam curled up against Violet, as Violet’s legs were tossed in Michael’s lap, the other three boys were all leaning against each other. Robby and I laid on the other side of the sectional, his arms around my waist as he pulled me back into his chest. “We’re gonna be okay, right?” He asked and I nodded. “You are, we are. Everything will be okay. I’ll be right here with you every step of the way.” He kissed the back of my head, squeezing my lightly. “I love you Mrs. Floyd.” Even after twenty-five years of marriage, that still makes me giddy like a little school girl. “I love you too, Mr. Floyd.” Soon after, we told the team and it was just as bad as telling the kids. Lots of tears, poor Phoenix was beside herself. I couldn’t handle anymore tears, walking away to the kitchen where I was preparing lunch. I was chopping some celery when there was a knock on the door frame. “Hey.” Rooster whispered as I looked up. His hair had started greying not long after Caroline was born, and even more after him and Phoenix got married. “Hi.” I whispered, going back to chopping the celery. He came over, grabbing my wrist. That’s when I realized not only was I aggressively chopping the vegetable, but I was about to slice my fingers.

“How are you feeling?” I planted my hands on the counter, my head hanging low. “Fine.” He scoffed. “You’re lying. And I know you are because you said the same thing that first night you moved in with me before the uranium mission. You had a complete breakdown that night.” The fact he knew me so well made my throat feel thick and more tears welled in my eyes. “I just- I can’t lose him.” Finally, the dam broke. I hadn’t really cried once since we got the diagnoses, so this was everything escaping me. “I can’t live without him, Bradley.” He pulled me into him, holding me as I cried. He rubbed my back, a few tears of his own landing in my hair. “You know he’s not giving up without a fight.” I was gasping for breath at this point. “But what if he doesn’t win?” I cried and he squeezed me a little tighter. “If that happens, then we will be here. You and the kids won’t be alone.” He held me till I calmed down, handing me a kleenex to clean my face off. “What’s going on?” Robby was standing in the doorway, looking confused. I rushed past Rooster, throwing myself into his arms. “I’m so scared, Robby.” He buried his face in my neck as he held me. “Me too, darlin’. Me too.”

Soon he started chemo, me taking time off work to go with him. “Mama, go to work. I’ll take him today.” Violet said as I got up that morning. “Are you sure?” I didn’t want to miss it, but we couldn’t afford all of our bills as well as the medical expenses if I kept missing work. “Positive. Zach, Michael and I have all agreed to rotate out.” My bottom lip wobbled as I pulled her into a hug. “God, how did I get such amazing kids?” She chuckled as she rubbed my back. “We’re just that good.” I laughed, pushing her out of my bedroom. Violet got a job in San Diego after graduation and started right away, Zach was still on summer leave and Michael is in a local trade school for diesel mechanics so they’re all local and dying to help. While it wasn’t their responsibility, they made it so much easier to juggle everything. Even Liam was more than happy to get his daddy anything he needs, water, glasses, blankets, you name it and he’s got it. I saw the effects the chemo had on him, making him sick, and soon his hair started falling out. “Dammit. The one good thing I had going.” I laughed as he sat in the kitchen as I held the clippers in my hands. “Nah, you got a lot going for you that I love.” I said as I kissed his cheek. “You’re sure?” He nodded and I clicked the clippers on, gently running them over his scalp until soon, there was no hair left. “All done.” I said as I wiped what little hair was left off his scalp. He was taking everything in stride, but soon it caught up to him.

After nine months we didn’t see much improvement and it broke my heart, because soon the chemo started causing pain. So much so he would curl up in bed and cry. “It hurts.” He sobbed and all I could do was hold him, rubbing his back as he cried into my chest. “I know. I know and I’m so sorry Robby.” My own tears slid down my cheeks, wanting nothing more than to take the pain away. “I don’t know how much longer I can do this.” I quietly gasped, trying to catch my breath at his words. I sat up, rolling him onto his back as I leaned over him. “Hey. Look at me.” Those crystal blue eyes stared back into me, into my soul. “If you want to stop. I will be right here by your side. As much as I want to spend the next thirty to forty years with you, I don’t want you to spend them suffering.” I said as my hand fell to his cheek, holding it. “This is your choice, and I want you to do whatever you feel like you need to do. I love you so much and it's killing me to see you in so much pain.” He continued to sob as I kissed his forehead, a sob escaping me as I did so. I didn’t want to lose him, I couldn’t but seeing him in pain wasn’t worth the time I so selfishly wanted with him.

We had talked about it, and he decided to quit treatments, until we went to his doctor appointment and saw he was improving. “It’s hard, but I can’t quit now.” Were his words, and with that he carried on with treatments and it paid off. Another nine months go by, and he received his last treatment, officially going into remission. Violet had dragged him with her to run some errands while the dagger squad and I got everything ready. “Get that banner up higher Javy!” He threw his hands up at me as his wife laughed. “It’s gonna be okay.” Hangman said, placing his hands on my shoulders. “It has to be perfect!” I said as I set the bowl of dip on the table. He just laughed, watching as I blew by Rooster who was watching Alex and Caroline sitting on the couch. They’ve grown close over the years, being so close in age. “He’s here!” Fanboy yelled, and I rushed into the living room with everyone else. We heard them walk up on the porch and as the door opened, we all screamed. “Congratulations!” Robby was caught off guard, almost stumbling back into Violet. A smile cracked on his face, as he turned to Violet, seeming to ask her if she knew about this. She nodded and he pulled her into a hug before coming over and hugging everyone else. When he got to me, he pulled me close grinning at me. “I love you. You are amazing.” He said before kissing me sweetly. “You have no idea how relieved I am.” I said as I laid my head on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, darlin’. I’m gonna be here for a long time.”

And he was, we got to see all of our kids get married. Violet married a boat captain that worked for a local motor yacht company, and her wedding was probably the hardest for Robby to deal with. She was his only daughter and our oldest, so giving her away was so emotional for him and it was hard to let her go, but she stayed local, giving us three grandkids. Zach married a catapult officer in the Navy, and she kept him on his toes. Michael and his girlfriend had a baby before they got married, but he was the sweetest little baby. Alex went to med school, getting married to Caroline in his last year of his residency, which everyone saw coming. Liam decided to go to culinary school, getting married to a local school teacher when he was just twenty one. Over the course of those years, we got older, and greyer. Arthritis setting in, joints locking up. But it was okay, because even though our house was now empty most of the time, I had Robby. We spent those years after he went into remission enjoying ourselves and traveling. We took a few family vacations a year, and quite a few solo trips. We saw Hawaii, Greece, Italy, Scotland and many other gorgeous countries. We made the most of our golden years.

We lost friends along the way. I found out Annette had passed after she developed sepsis from a hip replacement surgery and that was hard. Over the years we kept up with each other and Robby and I even went on trips with her and Luke, rekindling that friendship we lost after a while. Fanboy had developed heart disease some years ago and he passed when his heart finally gave out. Javy had gotten pneumonia and he just couldn’t kick it. It hurt me to lose them, but it hurt Robby so much more. He put his life in their hands, he trusted these people, spent his days with them. So, it hurt to see him hurting. I wrapped my arms around him as he cried, kissing his head. “I’m sorry, honey.” It was all I could say, all I could do. It was part of aging, you start losing those close to you, and it hurts but it’s sadly part of life. Another few years later, we were seventy-eight and laying in bed together. “What do you think our lives will be like when one of us is gone?” He asked, making me furrow my brows. “Why do you ask?” I asked as I took off my own glasses and laid my book in my lap. “I don’t know.” He seemed very confused as to why he asked. “I was just curious I guess.” He said as he picked his own book back up. It was quiet for a minute before I spoke up. “Miserable.” He looked to me. “What honey?” I sighed, laying my book down. “Miserable. When you had cancer, I knew I couldn’t live without you, just because we got older doesn’t mean that changed. I don’t know if I could go through the rest of my life without you.”

He grabbed my hand, squeezing tightly before bringing it up and kissing it gently. “I couldn’t live life without you either.” I smiled at him before leaning over for a quick kiss. “Goodnight, Robby.” I said as I shifted down in the bed, him following. He tossed his arm over his waist, just like he’s done since we got together and kissed the back of my head. I was almost asleep when I heard him behind me, whispering oh so quietly. “I love you, darlin.” I smiled, intertwining my fingers with his. “I love you too, Robby.” With that we fell asleep. It was odd for Robby to ask things like that, he didn’t really focus on living life without each other. He always talked about our next trip or what plans to make with the grandkids that weekend. So I have to wonder if a part of him knew before he was consciously aware of what was happening. The next morning, I woke up I was surprised to see him still in bed. Even in our old age, all the years in the navy still had him getting up before me. “Robby? You okay?” I asked as I stretched in bed, my arms raising up over my head before I rolled over to face his back. “Robby.” I said as I placed my hand on his arm. I immediately knew something was wrong, I rolled him onto his back, shaking him. “Robby?” My heart sped up as I reached for his neck. As soon as I felt how cold his skin was, it was like the ground was ripped out from under me. “Robby?” My hand was on his chest as I shook him, my voice breaking. “Robby?” This wasn’t happening. We had a trip with the kids in a few weeks and he was so excited to see all of our grandkids on the beach together. “No. No!” I cried as I buried my face in his chest.

A pulmonary embolism in the middle of the night is what took him. I felt numb. The world wasn’t as bright as it usually was, I couldn’t find joy like I used to, even with the kids or my grandkids. When the funeral came around I just sat in the chair by his casket, shaking hands and giving fake smiles as I listened to people tell me how they knew Robby. “Mama. You need some water.” Violet said, holding out a bottle to me. “No, I’m fine baby.” She sighed, grabbing the hand held out and pushing the bottle into it. “You haven’t had water since yesterday morning and I know you haven’t eaten since then.” I sighed, taking the bottle just to please her but she was right. I wasn’t taking care of myself, and Robby would give me the scolding of a lifetime. So, I gave in and ate something as well as making sure I drank plenty of water. I held it together through the funeral for the most part, only breaking down as the jets flew overhead performing the missing man formation. I approached the casket for the last time, leaning on it as I cried. “Mama.” Liam said as he came over, hugging me, and soon so did all the others. All five kids and all eleven grandkids came up, comforting me. “I don’t know how I’m gonna do this.” I gasped out. I stayed like that for who knows how long, but eventually Zach and Michael helped me up. “It’ll be okay, mama. We’ll make sure of it.”

It was never truly okay. You never get over losing your best friend, your other half. It’s a pain you simply make room for. The days seemed longer, the winters were colder, and the house was lonely. Not long after I turned eighty-three Violet moved into the house with her husband and kids. The house was lively again, just like it was when the kids were younger, but there was still this gaping hole that could never be filled. Rooster and Phoenix came over often, Hangman and his wife would take me out, the team was trying to make sure I knew I wasn’t alone. But these days that’s all I wanted. To sit alone and flip through photo albums and reminisce on our life together. I did it sometimes, other times I would spray his side of the bed with his cologne or go through old videos or voicemail’s. I was so scared that I would forget what he smelled like, or the sound of his voice. Then one day it did slip my mind. “Mama? Do you want to go down to the beach with the kids and I?” Violet asked as she stood in my bedroom doorway, watching me fold laundry. “Sure, go ask your father. You know he loves to see the kids play in the surf.” It was quiet for a minute and I looked up. Violet had tears streaking her cheeks as she stared at me. “Mama.” She said as she came over, sitting on the bed next to me. She took my hand, squeezing it. “Daddy’s been gone for a few years now.” Suddenly everything came rushing back, all the painful memories of losing Robby. “Oh my god.” I cried, my head falling down to my hands. “I’m so sorry Violet.” My words reminded Violet of one of the worst days of her life, and I felt like an awful mother for reopening those wounds. “No, mama. It’s okay, it happens.” Except it doesn’t. Lab tests and imaging proved it to be Alzheimer’s and slowly it got worse. I was forgetting who my kids were, constantly forgetting Robby was gone. Life becomes hard when you don’t understand the world anymore.

At the age of ninety-two I went into the hospital for aspiration pneumonia. Too much food and liquid going down the windpipe and allowing infection to settle in my lungs. “There’s nothing we can do?” Liam asked as he sat by my bedside. “I’m sorry. We’ve done everything we could, but sadly this is what happens with most Alzheimer’s patients.” Liam nodded, squeezing my hand as I tried to pull away. “It’s okay mama. It’s me, Liam.” It was like everything became clear again. “Liam?” He nodded, his eyes glassy with tears and for a minute I saw my baby boy. “Yeah. It’s me.” Soon all the kids were in the room, sitting around my bed. “I’m so tired.” Zach nodded, patting my arm. “We’ve all talked, mama and we agree. If you’re ready. So are we.” It was like the world lifted off my shoulders in that moment and a sense of peace washed over me. “We love you, mama.” My eyes flashed to Michael who spoke and as I did, I caught a figure in the corner. The figure was leaned against the wall, faded jeans, white t-shirt, hair styled and large frame glasses resting on his nose. He pushed off the wall, stepping into the light, making me gasp. “Robby?” He looked just like he did when we met, so young and bright. “Hey, darlin’.” He said as he came over, his fingers running through my thin, gray hair. “What are you doin’ here?” It was a mumble as I stared up at him. He stood next to Violet, looking at her before looking at me. “I’m right here waitin’ for you, honey.” I nodded as he squatted down, leaning his arms on the bed. “They’ll be okay. We did good with ‘em.” Tears ran down my cheeks as I looked at him, still in shock that he was standing next to me. “Go to sleep, darlin’. I’ll see you when you wake up.” I nodded, watching as he walked out of the room. My eyes grew heavy as the kids held onto me in some way. “We love you, mama.” I barely heard it, but it made me smile. “I love you too.” With that, I drifted off.

When I opened my eyes later I was standing on a beach, which was so confusing. I looked down, seeing my white painted toes in the sand and I looked at my hands. Same nail color, but my hands were so soft, and all the wrinkles were gone. My wedding ring gleaming in the sunlight, making me smile. I had on a white halter top, backless sun dress which allowed me to feel the warm breeze. I looked around, seeing palm trees across from the endless ocean. As I turned my head I saw a figure in the distance, I couldn’t make out any discerning features except for the white shirt and faded jeans. I took a few steps closer and a grin threatened to split my face in half. I took off in a sprint down the beach throwing myself into Robby’s arms when I reached him. My legs wrapped around his waist as my arms squeezed his neck. He smelled just like his cologne and I could’ve drowned in it, burying my face in his neck. His hands splayed across my back and I missed the feeling of him on my skin, the way his cologne would linger on me for a while. I pulled back, looking into those crystal blue eyes that I adored. “Is this real?” He nodded. “So real.” I grinned at him, my forehead resting on his as my fingers played with the hair on the nape of his neck. “You were waiting?” He nodded. “For too long, honey. I’ve wanted nothing more than to hold you in my arms since the minute I got here.” My grin never faded. “Kiss me honey. I’ve waited too long.” He whispered and I giggled. “Anything you want, Mr. Floyd.” I said before my lips pressed against his in one of the most passionate kisses we’ve ever had. He held me tightly against him as our noses lightly bumped each other’s, his hands drifting over the expanse of my back, my fingers buried in his hair. We pulled away forehead’s resting each other’s again as we caught our breath. “I can’t believe you’re finally here.” I giggled as he set me on my own feet. “What is this place?” I asked as we looked around. Robby shrugged his shoulders. “Heaven? Valhalla? Who knows, I just call it paradise, and it really just became paradise with you here, darlin’.” He said as he tilted my chin up, kissing me again. “I just hate we had to leave the kids.” He smiled, tugging me along to follow him. “Come here, I wanna show you something.”

He led me to a little tide pool between some rocks. “Look.” I looked at it, and after a moment it showed me all the kids sitting in a waiting room, Liam and Zach with their heads in their hands as they cried. My heart shattered, realizing what I left behind. “Mom would tell us we don’t need to cry because she’s with dad and they’re probably picking on each other.” All the kids broke out in giggles at Michael’s words. He wasn’t far off; Robby and I do enjoy picking on each other sometimes. “Picking on me, huh?” Robby asked, arms crossed over his chest. “Yes. Because I love you.” I said as I wrapped my arms around his midsection, leaning up and kissing him. When we pulled away I rested my head on his chest as he held me. “You think the kids will be okay?” He immediately nodded. “They will be. And when they’re ready, we’ll be right here waiting for them.” I nodded, looking back down at the tide pool, seeing Violet shove Zach from his chair. Life is full of joy, and heart ache. It pushes your boundaries and shows you what you’re made of. “Yeah, we’ll be right here waiting.” He kissed my forehead one more time before grabbing my hand and pulling me down the beach as the sun set behind us.

[littleone]

Earth-42 miles as a caregiver!<3

•miles tries very hard to keep his prowler business away from his little he dosent want them to get involved in any danger or be scared of him he dosent want that he wants to be the best caregiver for his little baby

• he can be a little overprotective at times but it’s only to keep you safe his universe is very dangerous and he doesn't want his little one getting hurt.

•he will SPOIL you lots ! If you want a new plushie you’re getting it ! A new paci? You got it ! A new onsie ? You’re getting it ! He dosent care if you think you don’t deserve it you are getting it no matter what.

•he’s constantly watching you like a hawk to make sure you don’t hurt yourself or get into any trouble if you reggrese under ten he will have you hold his hand when you cross the street or while doing anything really he just wants to make sure his baby’s safe.

•he will keep anything you make him he will hang it up in his room to proudly show off his baby’s artwork!

•he will always make sure your safe and comfortable no matter what is someone’s makes you sad or unhappy he will be very mad (not at you tho) at the person who made you upset he will comfort you and reassure you and take you away from the situation telling you not to worry your pretty little head and how your to little for that.

•he always and I mean always makes sure your in bed before 9pm he will always tuck you in and read you a bedtime story and tell all your stuffie friends goodnight and kiss your forhead and tells you to have sweet dreams and will even plug in a little nightlight incase your scared of the dark ! (Which is okay I’m still scared of the dark lol)

•if he’s working on his gear for his vigilante suit or if he’s working on his gauntlet he”ll have you sit on his lap or be in the room with him.

•he will call you cute nicknames like baby ! Mi amor little one ect!

• he’s not the best at when your upset or crying so he just sits by your side and hums a little lullabie his mama used to hum him when he was little if you wanna hug or to be held he will definitely hold you and make sure your okay

•he will draw with you color with you he loves anything you draw or make him ! It’s okay if you color outside the lines that’s fine ! You’re still a kid !

•he calls you as often as possible he loves hearing your little voice and giggles ! He always promises to get you somthing while on his prowler business he always follows though with his promises getting anything your little heart desires! Anything for his little baby !

•he loves talking to you ! And making sure you feel safe and comfortable! His favorite thing to do is have you in his lap curled up while he had his arms wrapped around you and he gives you little forhead kisses and headpats !

•he understands that littlespace can be scary at times or when you invoulntery reggrese he’s more then happy to take care of you and comfort you he dosent mind taking care of you.

•if he’s busy or has to go on a mission last minute he might ask Gwen or ganke to help babysit you

•he gets a little flustered when you cal him dada/daddy but he’s okay with it!

•he loves u lots! He will always make sure ur safe and comfy

•If you reggrese rlly little and need padding like pull-ups/dippers he’s okay with it! He will always help you and make sure you’re comfortable! If anyone makes you feel bad about needing padding he will make sure they don’t see the light of day again

•he has autism (facts) he can get a little off task but he always has everything on him that you might need ! Like tethers pacis fidgets etc)

•I feel like he’s great at cooking if he dosent have somthing you want he will gladly get it for u! •will def take u out on spray painting dates! •I feel like he will play peak a boo with you since his mask can go from seeing miles till not seeing him he loves hearing your little giggles and smiles! •if you reggrese rlly little one to four he will def put u down for bed like rlly rlly early like 6pm or 5pm

my baby needs sleep so they can have good dreams hmm *gives your forhead a little kiss and tucks you in*

I love you all sm! Make sure to eat and drink water!<3

[elejah-wonderland]

_elejah_au

Love is in the Air

_a tvd fanfic_part 4

*

a/n: a little light-hearted love story, set in Rome, Italy.

I know Valentine's is a month away...but I'm in the mood to write a totally human AU Elejah story.

*

The next morning, Elena got up pretty early and after a very quick shower, dressed in a shot, choosing just a pair of skinny jeans, white shirt, wrapping a small red spotted scarf around her neck.

She then looked at herself in the mirror, ruffling her hair in her hands trying to decide what to do with it. It was short. She just applied a bit of the magic hair spray her hair styles gave her. And drying it up quickly, she looked at herself in the mirror smiling happily. Applying a red lipstick, and a mascara, she checked herself once again.

The whole looked screamed - so 1950s, so Audrey Hepburn, so rockabilly, and she smiled - why not.

Slipping her flats on, and grabbing her bag and keys, she floated out of the apartment.

A bit later she glid at full speed on the rented bicicletta through the streets of the old part, across the piazza with a basket full of fresh vegetables, flowers and bread from the market, she skidded to a stop beside a fountain, and securing her bike, sat down in a cafe near by to have her morning cappuccino and a brioche. 

Ordering her breakfast,  looking at the people passing by, taking photos near the fountain. Her heart buzzed dreamily at the thought of Elijah.

"Dance?" Elijah's voice, soft, sweet, and yet so manly, still rang in her ears bringing back all she had often replayed in her head when she went from one heartbreak to another. That one dance was a food for her #imagine how it would have been if only I had not gone away that day.

And then, there he was, sitting next to her in Rome, and asked her to dance again.

At the same time, Elijah stopped typing, and took a sip of the espresso he had made earlier. He looked out through the window and grinned, his soul springing up with the memory of the night before. 

Flashback

"Dance?" Elijah said putting his hand out to Elena.

Elena nodded, and took her hand and there, immediately, goose-bumps raced all over her skin. Making a small mental breath, they came closer. 

As she leaned a bit to him, her scent engulfed him, taking control of all his senses. He pulled her slightly to him.  He could feel shiver up.Together as one they moved slowly to the music,  transporting them both to their dance so many years ago back in Mystic Falls.

Lost in their little world, they continued to sway , to another song, not bothering that all eyes were more or less on them. A couple sitting not far, looked at the pair. "Sono così innamorati. Che meraviglia!"

And if it wasn't for the waiter clumsily breaking a glass, they would have most probably stayed this way, moving to eternity, or at least till they were asked to leave, because they had to close. 

"Thank you - for this dance" Elijah said politely with a small smile crossing his face.

"You are so welcome - oh, there is your pizza!" Elena exclaimed as she saw the waitress now taking the plate with the scrumptious dish to their table.

"Oh, it smells so good even from there" Elijah said as the walked to the table.

Talking some more about his book, and the idea behind his sequel, they shared the pizza between them, having Elena succumb to its delicious waft.

"Ah, it's raining again." Elijah commented as he looked outside.

"I've got an umbrella," Elena said ,"the spring in Italy is a layer of sunshine and a layer of rain. Always be prepared to have an umbrella, even though it seems like you don't need it. It's a common misconception that the climate in Rome Italy is Mediterranean."

"Wow, you are talking like you live here"

"Well- I read that. I get prepared." Elena said. "Also I have spent last four months in Florence and Venice. You don't want to experience the flood in Venice. Not easy and so not attractive. But, when it is not raining, it's the most fairy-tale like place on Earth."

"You love Italy, don't you?" Elijah said taking a sip of wine.

"I do. Shooting in Florence was great too. You also chose to set Angel Heart in Padua. Seems like Italy is special to you, too." Elena said. 

"My fondest memories are always connected to Italy." Elijah then said.

"Yeah?"

"Yes. My best friend lives here now, too. I am staying in his apartment."

"Oh?"

"You know him - well, he used to date Rebekah back then in college. Stefan Salvatore."

"Stefan? Really? Wow - how come?"

"His grandfather was Italian - and they returned to live in Italy. I don't know if you know, but he and his brother were brought up by them, as their parent's died when they were little. Anyway, he is an art historian, and teaches at the John Cabot University. It's an American university in the heart of Rome." Elijah replied.

"Right. And - uhm - how is Rebekah? I - well, I know she was the editor of Vogue, and I know that she got her own designer line out now. Actually, I have seen her designs on New York fashion week."

"Then you know that she is ass-kicking," Elijah said,"it has always been her dream to have her own label."

"You will not believe this - uhm - a week ago - I chose a dress from her to wear on the Premiere of 'Dark Beauty' - huh - and now meeting you here - it's like," Elena now stopped gulping a bit, and took a bit of wine.

Elijah made a little sweet sigh and looking at her, "Like it was meant to be."

Elena raised her head, another gulp bolted out, "What?"

Thinking that he had participated himself, Elijah turned to the window and briskly changed the subject, "It's pouring down."

"You can have my umbrella and I will take a taxi if it doesn't stop. Deal?" Elena then said.

"Deal. But then you will have to let me pay you back for saving me from getting drenched - I invite you to Carbonara a la Elijah."

"Ok. But you will have to let me make some salad-"

"Agreed. Tomorrow at six - my place - uhm - Stefan's place."

Elena nodded, and as he paid the bill, they were on their way to their respective apartments. Elena left in a taxi and Elijah walked back with the umbrella, smiling from ear to ear like a Cheshire cat.

Now, Elena paid for her cappuccino and made her way back to her apartment. The sun was up in the sky flickering down on her as she cycled through the streets, her heart jumping radiantly.

Was this really meant to be?

*