#but this other dude!!!! his aunt is WINGMANNING FOR HIM

[breadmercury]

You know if I had a nickel for every time a nephew of someone who does accounting for the store i work at tried hitting on me despite my clear and firm disinterest, I would have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

[webslingingslasher]

ETHAN AND PETER MADE OUT????

pls elaborate

was it a one time thing? drunk incident? late night talk incident? lets make sure we’re not gay incident?? pls we need a trouble reaction to this info!!! “ive been telling u petey, dont be afraid to be your true self! im sure aunt may will be so pleased when she hears this, shes been waiting a while!”

i think they were both drunk but had stopped drinking and were just hanging out in ethan's room so they're slowly sobering back up and it's reaching early morning and they've been having deep talks and someone had asked "would you ever hook up with a guy?"

and maybe cause ethan’s been kinda open to the fact he's just honest about it, 'im not sure, i've never even kissed a dude. have you?'

and peter hasn't, but he's also confidently straight.

'no. have you ever thought about it?'

and ethan shrugs and is like, 'kinda, i don't know if i'm into them or not. does that make me gay?'

peter doesn't think so, 'if you hook up with a guy and you don't like it then you have your answer for sure.'

'yeah, but what if i do like it?'

'then i start wingmanning you with other dudes, should be easy enough.'

and it warms ethan's heart to know peter doesn't give one shit.

'i haven't even kissed a guy, i'm not trying to jump right into banging. like, who tops? who finishes first?'

peter's got an idea. 'so, you want to know if you're even open to going something with a guy before you do something with a guy?'

ethan knows it's confusing. it is for him too.

'i guess. any suggestions?' he gave a dry laugh, like he knew peter would be just as optionless as he was.

they're best friends right? and kinda drunk so it could be excused down the road. and hey, it's not gay if you're helping out the homies, right?

peter clears his throat, "wanna kiss me?"

and holy shit does ethan leave his body. the idea that peter would even offer was mind blowing, let alone asking. it's not even like ethan's into peter, not in the slightest but that was his best fucking friend and he just offered to kiss him.

'what did you just say?'

'don't make me say it again, cause i won't.'

ethan's shaking his head like a dog, 'you want to kiss me?'

'you asked for a suggestion! i gave you one! if it sucks and you hate it, then, hey, we were some friends that got a little curious while drinking. if it does something to you then, hey, you got your answer.'

logically, peter makes a good point. something they'd never talk about again, and he was the safest person to do it with.

'what if it doesn't work cause i'm not attracted to you?'

'we're not testing if you're into me, we're testing to see if you could make out with a dude.'

ethan thinks it's a solid deal. 'fuck it, man. let's kiss.'

peter leans in slowly, ethan gradually closes the gap. peter's the one who made first contact, but it felt like ethan was kissing his grandmother, there was nothing to base off a longing peck.

so, ethan takes the initiative and opens his mouth. peter follows, it makes ethan realize peter's willing to go as far as ethan will. so, he ever so slightly suggests the idea of a makeout, dotting his tongue on peter's lower lip, and surprisingly, peter's open to it.

if ethan can separate the kiss from the person, it's pretty nice. he likes the feeling of a rough jaw, a solid chest, strong arms, the slight tickle from stubble. the whole rubbing tongues thing kinda freaked him out, but that's also because it's peter and he knows where, or who his tongue had been in.

peter's right. it helped him make up his mind, plus, he needs air.

the second ethan pulls away they both wipe the back of their hands across their mouth, speaking at the same time, 'no homo.'

'bro, kissing you feels like i'm rubbing my mouth across an eraser soaked in clorox.'

peter's glad he's figured it out, 'so we have the answer?'

ethan nods, 'i'm open to doing stuff with dudes, just not you.'

'whatever, you made out with me.'

------

and yes, i think one night, just to be a shithead, ethan tells trouble,

'did parker ever tell you about the time he kissed me?'

[avengerscompound]

Small Gods: Little Traditions - 1

Little Traditions: A Sam Wilson Fanfic

Little Traditions Masterlist | More Small Gods

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Sam Wilson x F!Reader

Rating: E

Word Count:   1887

Warnings: Nothing on Chapter, smut on series.  Lot of mentions of food.  Reader is a god.

Synopsis: Since the blip and Steve Rogers giving up the mantle of Captain America, Sam’s life has been chaotic.  It’s not enough that the world has moved on in the five years he’d gone, and that he’d missed so much, now he has to live with everything it means to be Captain America.  He feels like he’s losing all the things that make him him.  A venture to the supermarket to recreate one of his parents famous recipes brings him to you.

A/N:  IF YOU WISH TO BE TAGGED IN THE REMAINDER OF THIS SERIES, EITHER ADD YOURSELF TO THE TAGLIST OR SEND ME A MESSAGE

Chapter 1

To say the world had changed was as much of an underestimate as a person could make.  One moment Sam was fighting in Wakanda to save it from some big, purple, Barney the Dinosaur-looking dude, and the next, it was five years later, and the very same fight was happening somewhere else.

After that, Sam had to accept a whole bunch of changes - one after another.  Losing five years of his life.  The death of one of his closest friends.  The death of Tony Stark.  The world plunging into chaos after the sudden reappearance of three and a half billion people they’d not only thought were dead but had stopped providing enough food and power to sustain.  Steve suddenly aging what looked like sixty years in less than a minute.  Steve handing over a shield he’d had made especially for Sam.  Missing so much of his nephew’s lives, not just because of the blip, but because he’d been on the run for three years before that.  The issues with borders and a whole hell of a lot of displaced people who had just been going about their lives for five years suddenly being homeless because of the blip.  Super soldiers.  John fucking Walker.   Becoming Captain America.

It was just so fucking much and by the time he had a chance to breathe, Sam wasn’t quite sure who he was anymore.  He felt like there were all these people he had been once - that made up the man he was now.  Sam the son.  Sam the brother.  The uncle.  Paratrooper.  Friend.  Wingman.  Falcon.

Captain America.

Each one was him and yet he felt the parts that he valued most were slipping from his grasp and were being replaced by the parts others pushed onto him.

Not that being Captain America was bad.  It was a lot - but it had its moments.  Besides America needed a hero to look up to that cared about all the people, not just some of them.  Sam wasn't going to let anyone else do it - not after Walker.

He just also needed to hang on to those things that made him Sam as well.  It was why he was still in Louisiana helping Sarah with the boat.  It was why he had started coaching his nephew’s baseball team along with participating in other community events.

It was also why he was going through all of Sarah’s kitchen drawers looking for his mom’s recipe cards.

He'd woken up with the memory of his family’s crawfish boils.  When the first good haul of crawfish came in, his aunts, uncles, cousins, and people from the street would all come around and cook up huge pots full of them.  They’d light a big fire out the back and set out long folding trestle tables with new plastic tablecloths, and the crawfish, potatoes, and corn would just be dumped on them for everyone to eat.  He remembered loving the smell, and the mess of cracking them open and sucking the meat from inside before throwing the shells into the fire.

They hadn’t done a boil since his dad died and while he’d had crawfish boils since, some of which were incredible while others had been less than spectacular, none had been the same as the ones his parents had made.  There was something about the way your parents’ cooking tasted that was special.

“Sam Wilson! What are you doing to my kitchen?”

Sam’s head snapped up.  He hadn’t realized he’d been looking for long enough for Sarah to be back.  Or maybe she was back earlier than he’d expected.  He looked around the chaos of the kitchen and back at Sarah sheepishly.

“Ohhh, Samuel,” Bucky said, stepping up behind Sarah.  Bucky had been staying with her ever since the thing with Kali.  He still slept on the couch, and Sam was considering converting the attic space into a makeshift room for the other man.  “What did you do?”

Sam resisted the urge to flip him off.  “I was trying to see if you had any of mom’s recipes written down,” he said.

She came over and began closing the drawers, straightening everything back up again.  “Some.  But not in here.  Mom didn’t really write that stuff down though,” she said.  “Why?  What are you looking for?”

“I want to do a crawfish boil like mom and dad used to do,” Sam said.  “Do you remember when they did their first big crawfish pull of the season they’d invite everyone around and do a huge boil?  We’d eat it outside and have a bonfire.”

“Vaguely.  I was pretty young when they stopped doing those,” she said, pausing what she was doing to think for a moment.  She shook her head and waved him off.  “We can do that if you like.  We even have the crab boil spice.  You don’t need a recipe.”

Sam shook his head.  “They didn’t use those premixed spices.  I remember mom putting the spice mix together.  Plus dad said he had a secret ingredient.”

Sarah shrugged.  “Sorry, Sam.  I have a few in the back of a cookbook, but I don’t remember any for a crawfish boil.  It must have been just something they messed around with.”

Sam grabbed his keys and wallet.  “Do you need anything from the store?”

“What do you plan to do?” Bucky laughed. “Just wander around until the secret ingredient jumps out at you?” 

“I don’t know,” he said.  “Maybe.”

Bucky started laughing hysterically. “Oh my god.”

Sarah put her hand on Sam’s shoulder.  “I think we have pretty much everything that you’d make the spice mix with.  But we’ll need way more bay leaves.  A lot more.  Get a few cloves of garlic.  And I need milk and eggs.”

“You’ve got it,” he said.  “I’ll be back soon.”

He headed out, jumped into the truck, and drove into town to the nearest supermarket.  It was a bit of a drive through the fishing town and he had to pass a lot of marinas and bungalows on stilts before stores started popping up.  During that time he tried to remember what it was that made his parent’s recipe different from all the other boils he’d had in his life.

He pulled into a parking spot outside the grocery store, no closer to figuring it out, and headed in.  He grabbed the things Sarah had told him to get first, along with plenty of fresh sweetcorn and potatoes.  He then made his way to the aisle with the herbs and spices.  He stood in front of the racks and racks of different bottles hoping one of them would jog a memory.  When that didn't work he attempted to smell different things through the packaging.  Generally, it didn't work but when it did it didn't bring back memories of crawfish boils.  Rather having pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving, eating Laksa at a street vendor in Penang, and köfte in Istanbul.

He didn't notice the cart pull up beside him until you cleared your throat.  “Sorry to interrupt,” you said.  “Do you mind passing me the star anise?”

“Oh shit,” Sam said, shoving his cart out of the way.  “I'm sorry.  I was lost in my own world.”

You reached past him and grabbed the star anise.  “You look lost.  Do you need any help?”

Sam’s eyes grazed over your cart as he looked up at you and he noticed many of the things he was buying, along with a big box of crawfish.  “Are you doing a crawfish boil?”

You looked down at your cart and back up at him and laughed.  “How’d you guess?  I mean it’s the season right?”

“It is.  I’m going to do one tomorrow.  I want to make it like my parents used to, but they had a secret ingredient and never told anyone what it was before they passed,” Sam explained.  “If you have any idea what someone might use as a secret ingredient in a boil, then I’d love to hear it.”

“That’s tricky,” you said, tapping your fingers on the handle of the cart.  “I know some people change the kind of peppers used.  So instead of cayenne, they might use ground ancho or even something like scorpion peppers.  You could try experimenting with that.  It would change the levels of sweet and heat so if you can remember if your parents’ version was hotter or sweeter than the ones you're used to, it might give an idea.”

“That's a good idea,” Sam agreed and grabbed a few different types of dried pepper from the shelves.

“Oh!  You know what else.  If it was me I might use lime instead of lemon.  Have you ever had the Viet-Cajun style?  They will sometimes use lime and lemongrass.”

Sam tried to picture the stock and whether it had lemon or lime in it.  He couldn’t remember seeing either and he knew there had to be something to account for the flavor.  “Lime, huh?” he said.  “I might try that.  Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome,” she said. “Good luck replicating your parents’ recipe.  Who knows, maybe if you can’t you can find something new that you love.”

A smile crossed Sam’s face as he realized how that was really what he wanted.  He wanted a new thing that he loved, that could be shared with others.  A tradition that could be rekindled that when he thought about who he was it would include more than just the words; Captain America.

“Thanks for your help,” he said.  “I really appreciate it.”

“Anytime,” you said.  “I hope it all works out for you.  It sounds like it will be fun.”

He watched you wheel your cart away and wished that he’d asked you for your number.  It was rare to meet someone who was cute and didn’t either fawn on him or treat him with some level of disdain.

He then remembered who exactly he was.  He was Sam Wilson.  He was Captain Fucking America, damn it.  If anyone could ask for a random stranger's number at a supermarket, it was him.

“Wait!” he called, quickly wheeling his cart after you.  “Miss!”

You turned to face him with a startled expression.  “I know this is a little forward, but do you think I could get your number?  I might text you to get other ideas for the recipe.”

You laughed and shook your head in disbelief.  “Sure.  Okay.”

He pulled out his phone and opened a new contact, filling in ‘supermarket’ as the name.  He handed it over, and you started filling in your number.  “I’m Sam, by the way.”

“I know,” you said before telling him your name.

“I’ll text you about how it turns out,” he said as you handed his phone back.

“I can’t wait to hear,” you said.  “Good luck, Sam.”

He tucked his phone back into his pocket as he watched you go, and when you’d turned the corner, he pushed his cart back to the fruit and vegetable section to grab some limes.  He was feeling a little hopeful now.  Maybe he’d be able to get this recipe how he wanted, and if not, he might be able to create his own version he liked just as much.  Besides, he had the number of a cute girl, so things were looking up either way.

// NEXT

[itsthemysterykids]

Pride Parade headcanons before this beloved month comes to an end?

Coraline

Bisexual Badass (She/Her)

Crazy irresponsible aunt of Pride

Always getting into trouble with the authorities

Makes sure to carry around a mask and gloves just in case she doesn’t want to leave any evidence behind

May or may not have been behind the prank where a ton of glue and glitter got dumped on protesters

Literal definition of ‘Be Bi, Do Crime!’

Tank Tops… That is all

… Also Crocs

Wears a bisexual cape

Out of everyone’s league

… Okay, she gone, Coraline simps over every pretty person she sees!

A tall girl dress as She-Ra walked by, followed a guy dressed as He-Man, and she got a nosebleed

She wants to give every Lesbian Goddess a gift, either jewelry or money

Hayley Kiyoko is her anthem

Learning how to Vogue. She’s a disaster

Cannot walk in heels to save her life

She, Neil, and Raz drink the most juice boxes

Likes to yell at TERFs

Definitely one of the loudest at Pride

Joins in on glitter fights whenever Mabel starts them

She threw glitter at Lili and saw her life flash before her eyes

Can and will bring a t-shirt cannon… And she can and will fire shirts at protesters on full blast

Next to Mabel, she eats the most sugar

One time, she had a major sugar rush and almost ended up joining a cult… Or starting one. She can’t remember

Chugs a ton of melted Icees

Wybie

Pan Trans Dude (He/Him)

Has been going to Pride with his grandma since he came out to her

May or May not be a Pride icon

Has enough binders to rotate through the week

Donates his old ones to those in need

This is the only time of the year where Wybie will refer to a person as ‘Hon’

Total mom of Pride

Like Mabel, if you ask, he will hug you

Carries a frying pan around for protection

Is terrified of losing Raz and Lili in a crowd. THEY’RE SO SHORT!

Brings those leash backpacks for kids just in case the others get into trouble

Supplies the snacks

Dyes his hair white and paints pink marks under his eyes to look like Allura because she’s a goddess and people refer to him as a goddex

Every time Wybie flips his hair, a trans girl gets a cupcake

Every time Wybie flips his hair, a trans boy also gets a cupcake

He unintentionally adopts people

Gets asked out nearly every year

People also like to give him gifts

Coraline, Mabel, and Neil ask him to be their wingman, but everyone’s too focused on him

Has the grace and poise of Billy Porter

Participates in glitters wars with the others

He didn’t win one year when Coraline threw glitter at Lili. No one was safe.

One year, some TERFs walked over just to yell at him. They walked away in love

Norman

Agender Gay Demiromantic Asexual (They/Them & He/Him)

Was roped into letting Mabel, Neil, and Raz do his makeup

Black lipstick every day

Also rainbow eyeshadow

Dipper may or may not have gotten a nosebleed

The ghost of Martha P Johnson goes with him to pride for protection

The first time Norman went to Pride, they cried. Everyone was so accepting!

Everyone immediately wanted to comfort him because seeing Norman cry should be illegal

Has to convince Stonewall Riot ghosts to not throw stuff at police

Long story short, one ghost threw a brick at a protester and now protesters fear Norman

They think he has ‘gay mind powers’. He’s not complaining

Has been carried by Drag Queens

Just to piss of protesters for the hell of it, they kissed Dipper… Then they did it again just for the hell of it

They get hugged every five minutes

Doesn’t know which cape to wear, so he rotates

Is a master at glitter wars. Seriously, this kid can dodge. Mabel gets frustrated every time

Hoodies and beanies no matter how hot it is

Raz: Norman! You’re sweating bullets!

Norman: Beauty is pain.

Raz: But-

Norman: BEAUTY IS PAIN!

Dressed as a witch one time (Made sure Aggie was okay with it first) and wore the rainbow flag as a cape

They cursed protesters with their ‘gay mind powers’

Neil

Omniromantic (He/Him)

He’s the Pride Dad, Wybie’s the Pride Mom

Wears Deadpool merch every year

Then he pretends to break the fourth wall

Likes to Cosplay with Mabel and Raz

They went as She-Ra, Bow, and Glimmer. Guess who was who

Rolls around in body glitter with Mabel before every parade

Wears a shirt that says ‘Free Hugs’

Sometimes unintentionally adopts people with Wybie

Likes to carry people on his shoulders

Rainbow lipstick. SLAYED

Teaching Coraline how to Vogue

Always the first one out in the Glitter Wars

Then Lili got hit and… It was a massacre

Eats a ton of marshmallows

Brings a ukulele and sings ‘Everyone is just a Little Gay’

Everyone will throw hands if Neil gets hurt

Some protesters tried to beat him up and they met the business end of a Drag Queen’s nine inch heel

Likes to do makeup

He once painted rainbows on kids’ faces

Supplies extra glitter while Mabel brings the main supply

Pacifist, but will not hesitate if the situation calls for it

Did drag one year. He was good, but not on Raz’s level

Norman’s wingman and it’s exhausting!

Why must his friend be a disaster?

Dipper

Bill Nye the Bi-ence Guy! (He/Him & Ze/Zir)

Likes to throw his old binders into the crowd

Gender envious of Wybie

Seriously, he’s a total goddex!

Only let’s Mabel do his makeup. It’s that sibling trust

Tank top and khaki shorts

Dipper doesn’t know it, but people find zir iconic

Different Pride caps every day

Mabel is zir wingwoman

When Norman kissed him in front of protesters, Mabel had to keep him from passing out later

When protestors attack, ze goes LGBT scientist on their butts, explaining the difference between gender and sex, what hormone blockers actually do, and how not every gay person has AIDS

Makes flower crowns with Lili. It’s relaxing

Comes out every year

Dipper: Okay… I am Bisexual.

Mabel: Dipper, we know. You come out to us every year.

Dipper: Oh… I do?

Stan: Yes! And we love you just the way you are!

Dipper: Well, thank you for being an ally!

Once asked Norman out during a parade. Now the two have a day named after them

One protester tried to hit Mabel and ze just saw red

He had a major sugar high one day and starting singing all the Pride songs he knew

Now people clap and cheer whenever he walks by

Mabel

PanRomantic (She/Her)

Calls everyone ‘My loves!’

Also a pride icon

Drag Queens LOVE her outfits

Beauty guru

She has a vlog Dipper helps her out with, and she promotes different products from LGBTQ+-owned companies

Will do everyone’s makeup

Seriously, her mascara is on point

Hugs pride kids who were forced to sneak out or were kicked out of their homes

Then she buys them ice cream

She likes to knit Pride-themed sweaters and then just pass them out to anyone who wants them

A drag queen wore one to one of her shows and Mabel got over 30K followers on her Instagram

Now people are throwing hundreds of dollars at her for just a beanie

Some say Mabel fired the first glitter ball, which started the Mystery Kids Glitter Wars

Wears Crystal Gem merch

She cosplayed as Pearl and warded off protesters with her spear

Same with her Rose Quartz sword

Dipper’s wingwoman before ze asked Norman out… And it was in no way easy

After Dipper and Norman finally got together, she and Neil celebrated with Rainbow Unicorn Frappuccinos

Out of respect for Mabel, the coffee shop gave her the recipe for Rainbow Unicorn Frappuccinos

Brings her Polaroid camera and scrapbook to document every moment

Raz

Genderfluid Bi-Guy (He/Him)

Good at makeup, but he’s not on Mabel’s level… No one is

But he is a pro at drag

He mainly does drag versions of BNHA characters. He slayed as Drag Deku

Is trying to teach Coraline how to walk in heels… It’s hopeless

He’s been working heels since he was eight. It’s all about balance

Has over thirty-five wigs

Likes to wear feathered boas

Dressed as Peter Pan one time and threw rainbow glitter at the protestors

Fanny packs

Somehow, he makes them look good

Backflipped away from protesters

Likes to belt Steven Universe songs and songs from The PROM Soundtrack

Buys all of the Pride merch he can get his hands on. It concerns Lili sometimes

Hid in a Drag Queen’s dress when Lili got involved in the glitter wars

Once stole fifty candy bars without getting caught

Is everyone’s impulse control… If they don’t do anything crazy, he will

Raz: Oh, the burden!

Coraline: Raz, no one told you to eat a ton of sprinkles

Joins Wybie and Dipper in throwing their binders to the crowd. He just throws them at random and goes, ‘Binders! Binders! Binders!’

Small but feral

Immediately starting singing ‘Turn it Off’ as soon as someone said “light switch”

Whenever a protestor says, “you’re going to hell!” He fires back with a “I’ll save you a seat!”

Lili

Nonbinary (They/Them & She/Her)

Sarcastic Pride shirts

Has a shrine of George Salazar

Will bite a TERF and has a shirt that says exactly that

Dyes their pigtails rainbow for every pride parade

Boots…

Also scrunchies

Draws stars on the cuffs of her jeans

She once took down a protester twice her size and now they all fear her

Norman/Lili: FEAR SQUAD!

Wears a “Queers for Isabela” shirt

Makes flower crowns with Dipper to pass around

Getting a flower crown from Lili is an honor

Acts as Raz’s impulse control by threatening him with a spray bottle of makeup remover

Whenever the Mystery Kids even think about throwing glitter she will hold up a fistful of it and have them crying like babies

Drag Queens and Kings love her. She’s sassy, has nice hair, and is a pro at eye shadow

Will buy binders for people with their own money

They also buy Raz ring-pops. (Sugar free, though)

Once set fire to a TERF’s hair after they tried to beat up Dipper

Supplies juice boxes

LOVES Rainbow Unicorn Frappuccinos

They had a sugar rush that lasted for hours

And the next day, the Mystery Kids were all laughing and no one will tell them why

Wears a denim with over a hundred Pride-themed buttons

Paints Pride flags on their boots

Stole a motorcycle from one of the Dykes on Bikes and went on a joyride

[sithsecrets]

vows | din djarin x reader

with the armorer’s blessing, you and din marry in a place more beautiful than any other you’ve ever been to.

---

2.7k words

mentions: sex, fem! rea`der, marriage customs/wedding customs, lots of fluff, happy crying, big wedding presents!

this is part 7 of my valentine’s week series! read the other parts here!

---

“You’re sure you don’t mind keeping him for a couple more days?” you ask Cara, bouncing the baby lightly in your arms.

“’Course not,” she says with a shrug, perpetually unbothered in a way you’ve always envied. “He’s good company and an even better wingman. You should see how women flock to me in the bazaar when I’ve got him on my shoulder.”

You roll your eyes at that, mock-perturbed, but you give Cara the baby when she reaches for him anyway, glad to know he’ll be in good hands while you and Din are… wherever he’s going to take you.

The details are all of this are still hazy to you, and you’ve been thrumming with nervous energy since the Crest touched down on Nevarro. With the Armorer on board, you and Din are free to marry… whenever. The way Din explains it, the two of you could duck into a supply closet right now and come out five minutes later as husband and wife. You’re not going to do that, of course, but you could, and the idea is kind of freaking you out. Seeing the Child has soothed you a little bit, though you’re still worried about imposing on you and Din’s little circle of friends.

“If you get sick of taking care of him, Cara, you can send me and Din a comm. We only need—”

“What you need,” Cara cuts, hiking the baby up on her hip, “is to get married, say that you love each other, and then proceed to have wild sex for the rest of the weekend. The kid is fine with me, really. Don’t worry about me, or him, or anybody else. Just focus on your husband.”

You blush at the tease in Cara’s voice, still unaccustomed to her frank, vaguely crass nature after all this time. Leaning down, you give the baby one last kiss on his green little face, whispering that you love him before you pull away. He seems unphased by any of this, far more focused on entertaining Aunt Cara. Apparently, the two of them are joined at the hip now, a fact that, by all accounts, has made Greef insanely jealous.

“Everything good?”

Din’s voice catches your attention, and not one second later do you feel his hand on your back. He comes to stand beside you, looking between you, Cara, and the baby.

“Everything’s great,” Cara tells him. “Your girl here is just worried that the both of you are putting me out by asking me to watch the kid for a couple of days. As if me and him aren’t going to have the best time, right, dude?”

As if to emphasize her point, the Child gurgles and cries out in excitement. Din reaches out to hold his little hand, gentle and affectionate, but his voice is frank through the vocoder.

“Make sure he’s asleep before you bring a girl over, Cara.”

Cara gives him a shove, mock offended. “Go get married before I change my mind, tin can.” But she’s smiling as she says it, and Din huffs out a laugh.

---

The sun is beginning to set by the time you and Din make it to your destination, every inch of the horizon blazing bright orange. The walk here wasn’t a long one, the little house you’ve come to located just outside the city, and yet you still feel like you’re a million miles away from the rest of the world. There’s a lot of space around you, open ground with any and all neighbors far off in either direction. You never knew there were houses out here, but then again, it’s not like you ever proclaimed to be an expert on Nevarro.

Before you can ask, Din’s already typing in the door’s passcode, letting you walk in before him when it clicks open. You come into a teeny entranceway, the house’s front room laid out before you. Off to your left is the kitchen, and then a hall the rest of the rooms past that. It’s by no means a palace, but you don’t care— it’s a sweet little place, perfect for you and Din’s needs. Neither one of you has a liking for fussy spaces, and this certainly isn’t that.

Off the hall past the kitchen lies two bedrooms, one with an attached bathroom and one without. A second bathroom sits at the back of the hall, and then there’s not much more to see after that. A pantry, a small storage closet in the front room— nothing about this place is extra, everything has a purpose. Even the furniture, or what little there is to be found is plain and practical. No decorations, not even much technology— just a simple little house, bare and basic.

“Who did you rent this place from?” you say to Din, peeking in the kitchen cabinets to see what you can find. A few pots and pans, a set of dishes, silverware… There’s even some food in the refrigerator, enough for you to cook a few meals this weekend.

“It’s not a rental,” Din replies, stock-still in the living room, “it’s ours.”

You stop dead in the kitchen, one hand still on the handle of an empty drawer. Slowly, every so slowly, you turn around, heart hammering in your throat.

“What?” is all you manage to say, voice so small in the— in your kitchen.

“It’s ours, cyare.” Din takes a step closer, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. “I bought it for a few months ago. Greef helped me get a good price. It took some time, but I finally got all the furniture and the pots and dishes for the kitchen. I didn’t— I don’t know anything about decorating, so I didn’t so that. I figured I couldn’t pick out everything anyway, you know, since it’s not just my home.”

Tears well up in your eyes as you listen to Din speak, and… and you just don’t know what to say. Suddenly, everything around you seems infinitely more precious, infinitely more splendid. The little table and chairs, the couch in the living room, the forks in the silverware drawer— all of it was picked out by Din, all of it’s for you.

“I know we never discussed getting a place like this, but we can’t live on the Crest forever. You and the baby deserve stability, and if we have other children… I want us to have a life, cyar’ika, a real life. But if you don’t like it, I can… we don’t have to come here. The Crest will still be our place, I mean.”

All you can do is laugh through your tears and throw up your hands, amazed. “Din,” you declare, “I just…”

Din won’t come to you, it seems, and so you go to him, wrapping him up in your arms. The warmth of your embrace pales in comparison to what’s in your heart, but it’s all you have for him at the moment.

“What do I say?” you ask, finally stepping back after what feels like an eternity. You swipe at your cheeks and sniffle, trying to get yourself together just the slightest bit. People cry through their vows all the time, but you don’t want to.

“What?”

You look at him. “What do I say, Din?”

He acts surprised, like he forgot why the two of you came here in the first place. “Oh! Right. You, um— Just give me a minute.”

Din turns his back on you, headed for the door. He throws two locks there, moving to the windows next. There’s two sets of shutters on all of them, and Din closes them firmly, even flitting off into the other rooms to presumably repeat the action there. You allow him this little ritual, not saying a word even as your excitement builds and builds. You could float if you wanted to, you think, so giddy and anxious and full of feelings that it’s a wonder they aren’t pouring out of your ears.

After a couple of minutes, Din returns, nerves showing in his voice as he asks you for your help. “I— I want to be me when you see my face. No armor, just… just me in my clothes, nothing else.”

You say yes, of course, and then you’re fiddling with straps and struggling with buckles. This part you’ve done at least fifty times before, well acquainted by now with the process of getting Din out of his armor. It takes more than a few minutes, but then the two of you are done, face-to-face in the kitchen. The light is dim, just two lamps throwing their warm glow onto the walls of your house, but you couldn’t imagine anything more perfect.

“Din,” you say softly, repeating yourself one last time, “what do I say?”

The string of Mando’a that comes out of his mouth is long and complicated, all the words twisted together on his expert tongue. You laugh before he’s even through saying it, reaching out to grab his hands.

“A little slower, please,” you murmur, “and maybe in parts?”

Din laughs, a real, genuine laugh, and then he’s breaking down the phrases for you. You set your face now, serious as you speak these sacred words into the air of your little home. Finally, it’s Din’s turn, and you think the vows sound so much better coming out of his mouth.

“Mhi solus tome,” he says to you, the words honey on his lips, “mhi solus dar’tome. Mhi me’dinui an. Mhi ba’juri verde.”

We are one when together, we are one when parted. We will share all. We will raise warriors.

The weight of what’s just passed between you settles like a soft, warm blanket on your heart. Din is your husband, it’s finally happened, and now you feel rightly and truly at home. There’s one thing left to do, the action that will complete this ritual, but it’ll only be right if Din does it.

It feels surreal to watch him raise his hands, to stand there as he grasps the sides of his helmet and pulls upward. Slowly, ever so slowly, your husband’s face is revealed to you. First his chin, and then his nose, and then… and then….

Din is beautiful. Beautiful, and terrified. The fear in his eyes is plain, the shaky quality of his breath only serving to show you how scared he is. You should comfort him, you know, you should reach out and hug him, tell him it’s alright, but… But you’re just so mesmerized by him, transfixed on all the features you’ve felt but never seen. The curve of Din’s nose, the slant of his mouth… You knew his hair was shaggy, but this wasn’t the length you were picturing! He looks so different than you thought, and yet you weren’t expecting anything less than the man that stands before you now. Stars, he’s so handsome, so… so… perfect. Din is perfect.

Miracle of miracles, even with as terrified as he is, it’s Din who speaks first.

“I think now would be a good time to tell you that there’s no take-backs on the vows.”

The joke fills your chest with warmth. “Not even if I had my fingers crossed behind my back?”

Din shakes his head, and you laugh, fingers twitching at your sides. You want to badly to touch him, to lean up and kiss him and put your hands in his hair while you do it, but you’d sooner die than frighten him any more than he already is. No, you need to be careful right now, careful like you were the very first time you two laid down together in the dark all those days ago. Din had been scared then too, shaking under your hands as you touched parts of him that no one had felt in years— maybe ever, if you’re being honest. This is going to be no different, that much you can tell.

“Can I touch your face?”

Din nods, tracking every movement of your hands as you bring it up to his cheek. He flinches when your fingers make contact, but you soothe him through it, stroking the hair on his jaw, tracing the curve of his eyebrow. No one’s more shocked than you when Din takes your hand in his own, twisting it until your palm is flat on his cheek. You can’t help but laugh— Din has always liked that.

“You alright?” you ask, relieved when Din nods against your hand.

“As long as you’re not regretting all your decisions, then yes.”

“No regrets here,” you affirm. You look him up and down then, deciding that the time for talking is coming to an end. “Are there sheets on the bed?”

It’s in this moment you realize that Din has his hands on your waist, and the tightening of his grip makes your heart jump. “Mhm,” he hums. “Made it up for us when we dropped the baby off the first time.”

“Take me there, then.”

Din doesn’t have to be told twice, and the two of you go stumbling into the bedroom together, kissing and trying to undress all at the same time. You have to coax him out of his shirt and pants, promising that you already know about every scar and mark he has. Still, Din’s uncharacteristically timid when he lays you out on the bed, and so you make a point of praising his body, pointing out all the things you love about him as he presses kisses to the swell of your chest, the inside of your wrist, anywhere and everywhere he can get his mouth on. And it’s no chore, not by a long-shot, not when parts of him are so toned and tan and cut perfectly.

Thankfully, Din seems to derive some confidence from this, and you find him to be much more sure of himself when he parts your legs and pushes inside you. You’re on your back for a while, blissed out and content to be fucked by Din for the rest of eternity, but then Din’s pulling you into his chest, murmuring that he wants you in his lap as he maneuvers you around. You let him put you where he wants you, moaning softly when the two of you are settled again. This has always been such a good angle for you, and Din’s never been one to make you do all the work yourself, even in this position. Tonight is no exception, it would seem, the press of his cock robbing you of all coherent thought within seconds.

It feels like one long, blissful eternity passes before you have to so much as think about thinking again, every bit of you focused on the sex and the feeling of Din’s arms around your body. He’s the one who pulls you back down to reality, holding you back from his chest so he can look you in the eye.

“I’m crying,” Din tells you, announcing this as though he’s surprised. Sure enough, tears streak his cheeks, his skin wet under your fingers as you go to cradle his face.

“That’s okay,” you say, because it is. “Are you happy?”

“So happy,” Din says at once, and the strain in his voice tells you that he’s getting close. “I love you so much, cyare, fuck, I just… I just…”

“I know,” you soothe, falling back onto his chest, threading your fingers in his hair. “I know, baby. I love you too.”

Not ten minutes later, the two of you are lying beside one another, breathless and coming down. Din still has tears on his cheeks, and you know you probably look like a mess, but you can’t bring yourself to care. You should shower, you know, shower and probably change the bed, but you’re so comfortable here under the covers. Din seems similarly inclined, reaching for you from his side of the bed,

“I take it you like the house then?”

All you can do is nod, snuggling into his chest.

“This is all I’ve ever wanted, Din. I can’t wait for the baby to see it.”

“We can go get him tomorrow, if you want,” Din offers, one hand dragging up and down, up and down your back.

“Sounds good,” you murmur, and then you’re dozing off in your husband’s arms.

[over-under-through1]

Brick and Buttercups friendship headcannons

judgemental homiez

like they’ll be staring from 4 yards away at Boomer and Bubbles unsuccessfully flirting and just look at each other like “... dude.”

except Brick has no room to judge cause he’s a TRAIN WRECK while flirting with Blossom

so Buttercup is kinda forced into helping him with that one cause “jesus christ I cant watch this anymore you’re embarrassing yourself man”

Buttercup is his number 1 wingman

when they work together they can get literally anything done

like, if the teacher pairs them up on a group project? it’ll get done in 2 days, there’s a light show, speakers are set up, they bring in horses, it’s just nuts

Brick finds out that Butch has a thing for BC and does some lowkey work to get them together that no one knows about

he finds out BC likes guys in flannels? he starts sneaking flannels into Butches closet

oh, did I mention that he only trusts Buttercup to drive his car? because yeah, that’s a thing

also if he’s driving everyone (and Blossom isn’t there cause duh) BC gets first dibs on the front seat (much to his brother’s discontentment)

BC lowkey blackmails Brick into making her food cause his cooking is the best

they started making fun of Mike and Mitch doing the “bro hug” by mimicking them but then they got into the habit of doing it so now that’s a thing

so you’ll just see Brick congratulating BC on something by doing the 🤝 pat on the back thing

okay at Brick and Blossom’s wedding the red’s had a squabble over who gets to have BC has their brides maid/grooms man (maid?)

Blossom won because sister rights but Brick was very petty over it

he did however have BC at his bachelor party (he and Blossom had their parties on different days so this would work)

also if you were wondering: yes, Brick was at BC’s bachelorette party

BC is the cool aunt and Brick throws a hissy fit over it. BC finds this hilarious

Brick and Buttercup both mutually agreed that all big time family dinners (i.e. Christmas, any of their birthdays, new years, etc.) cooking is up to them. the only other person who is even REMOTELY aloud in that kitchen is Bubbles but Butch, Boomer, and Blossom’s are banned on all accounts

Brick and BC have been forbidden from being on a team during full family game nights (these nights include the greens, red, blues, miblo,robike, the prof, the mayor, Ms.Bellum, and Ms.Keane so you know that there’s a lot of competitive vibes in that room) cause they either get WAY too competitive together and end up flipping the board if they loose or they win within the first 10 minutes of playing

also This Art by Red Can Draw basically sums up how I see their entire friendship

Blossom may steal his hat and wear it to show love, but Buttercup does it purely to annoy him. it makes her laugh to see flames coming out of his nostrils

Brick once asked Buttercup to braid his hair and it DID NOT GO WELL

NEVER. AGAIN.

there’s a reason why she keeps hers so short, she’s just not good at hair man

she’s what influenced Brick into getting his ears pierced

he cried like a bitch and she had to begrudgingly comfort him with a “😑😬” face the entire time

they tag team to calm down their counterparts because hey, yes, normally Brick and BC are the more volatile teammates, but when their counterparts get pissed it takes the works of both of them combined to get them to see clearly again

Brick found out about the shit Buttercup went through with Ace in the past (not gonna get into that right now) and he literally shook Butch and Boomer awake at 4am so they could go “teach that slimy little bastard a lesson he’ll never forget” (Butch didn’t know why they were doing this because BC threatened to demember Brick if he ever told him, but hey, any excuse to beat up the green turd he’ll accept)

I’ve mentioned this so many times before but the amount of ARSON JOKES Buttercup makes about Brick

it’s non stop and he hates it

“I WAS 13 YEARS OLD, UTONIUM!! LET IT GO!!”

I also said before that she sends him a fire meme a day and I’m sticking with that

90% of the time they call each other by their last names, otherwise it’s “BC” and “Cap Boy” and “your redness”

[penaltbox]

flights, fate, and football games (4+1) - quinn hughes

*or 4 times you were in the same place and didn’t know it + 1 time you were in the same place on purpose*

if you like it let me know :) reblog it, send me a message, leave your thoughts in the tags. thanks in advance!

word count: ~3k

__

Same restaurant/Post playoffs 

You wave at your two best friends as soon as you enter the restaurant, surprisingly being the one who was late this time. You hit more traffic than you expected, but Pop’s was not to be missed. 

The little Ferndale restaurant was one of your favorites and you needed the time to wind down after the crazy week you’d had. You hear a guy’s voice behind you talking to the suddenly excited hostess as you walk past her to get to your table, but never glance back at who it might have been. 

“Wow, for once we aren’t the late ones,” Abby smiles, nudging Hannah with her elbow.

“Oh, aren’t you guys funny,” you roll your eyes playfully, but take a seat with them, “it wasn’t my fault though. Traffic was insane on the highway. It’s like everyone forgot how to drive at once.”

“I hit some traffic too, no worries,” Hannah smiles, glancing over your shoulder, “did you somehow miss those super cute boys that came in behind you though? The one was so your type.”

Your eyes widen a little as you turn around to quickly survey the area you’d just come from. There’s no one waiting at the front of the restaurant though, so you turn back with a frown. 

“I mean, I heard a guy’s voice as I walked in but I didn’t think to look back at him. Why? Was he really that cute?” You ask, looking around the restaurant to see if you could find who she was talking about. 

Abby sighs, “I can’t see where they went either but Hannah and I noticed them as soon as you got here. We should have got you to turn around somehow.”

You shrug, checking over the menu and deciding between a pizza or the bolognese instead, “I guess if I was supposed to have seen him then I would have.”

You would have looked around for him more but the waiter showed up and you were dying to get your hands on a glass of wine to start your weekend off. 

...

“Quinn, I swear if you don’t start talking to cute girls when you see them I’ll end your career,” Will points across the table. 

Josh holds his hands up and laughs, “guys, come on. We all know Quinn isn’t smooth enough to seal the deal anyways.”

This gets the other two laughing, but Quinn doesn’t find it as humorous. He rolls his eyes and tries to fight off a smile. He opts for focusing his attention extra carefully on the menu rather than fueling the fire that was already started. 

“Hey, by the end of summer you never know. Maybe you’ll be able to land a girl. It might take a small miracle, but we’ll help you out if we can,” Will grins, thinking it’s the funniest thing in the world. 

“Great,” Quinn nods, thinking matchmaker Will sounded like a living nightmare, “I’m sure that would go well.”

He tries to brush it off, but the thought lingers a little longer. He’d find someone one of these days. His mom always told him he shouldn’t rush a good thing. It would happen when it was supposed to. 

Your brother’s hockey practice/Early June

“I swear to god, Adam, you need to get moving,” you mumble, watching your brother get beat in yet another drill. 

The air inside USA arena was definitely colder than outside and you were wondering how you’d managed to get stuck picking him up that night. He seemed off though so maybe he’d asked your mom if you’d get him. Sometimes he needed to talk, and definitely not to your parents. 

The whistle blows loudly and you watch your little brother skate off with his head down. He’d been lucky to make the U17’s but you could tell he was struggling. It made your heart hurt and you knew the drive home would involve the long route that day. 

You wait in the lobby, responding to your group chat that had somehow blown up while you watched the end of the practice. You’re in the middle of a message when an oddly familiar voice catches your attention.

You pick up your head and look around just as a group of guys head down the stairs to the locker rooms. You don’t manage to see any of them but something about the voice you’d heard seemed to catch your attention for some reason. Where had you heard that voice before?

Adam comes barreling out of the doors, an annoyed look on his face, “let’s go.”

“Hi to you too, asshole,” you scoff, but the look on his face matches the tone he’d given you. Something was wrong. 

You grab your keys and walk out of the arena, glancing over at your only sibling, “Adam, what’s wrong? Wasn’t there another practice after that you wanted to watch or something?”

“No, some alumni guys rented the ice next and pushed the 18’s back an hour,” he mumbles, his hands dug down in his pockets. 

You reach over and ruffle his hair, despite the fact he’s well taller than you now, “come on, we’re getting ice cream before we get home. And you can tell me what’s got you so worked up on the way.”

A smile takes over his face finally as he reaches your car, “okay fine. So there’s this girl in my chem class but she’s dating a football player.”

“Ew,” you laugh, playing along with the story, “also if you’re playing like shit because you’re mad that a girl you like is taken then I’m kicking your ass”.

“Hey, it was one bad practice. Just don’t tell dad,” he looks over, “surprised you didn’t want to stay and watch the next practice though. You know it’s the guys who went on to play college and pros and stuff right?”

You almost smack him when you see how smug he looks, but you hold off for once, “the last thing I need is some trouble maker hockey player to deal with. I already have you.”

“Suit yourself. Every girl I know loves Hughes though,” he shrugs. 

The name sounds familiar but you don’t think twice about it for some reason. Of course you wanted a boyfriend but you weren’t sure you wanted your younger brother setting that up for you. 

…

“Try not to suck tonight, okay?” Jack laughs, shrugging his bag a little higher on his shoulder as he picks on his older brother. 

Quinn laughs and shoves him sideways, “try not to get run over. Are you gonna put any weight on this summer, bud?”

“You’re both getting lapped,” Alex interjects, walking between the two and entering the arena first. 

Quinn notices you leaning against the wall in the lobby and does a double take. Had he seen you before? Why did you seem so familiar? You had to be waiting for someone if you were there, he knew the 17’s had the ice, so maybe you were younger than he thought. 

He shakes off the odd feeling he gets from seeing you and turns to find his brother grinning. Quinn knows he’s been caught staring and he immediately bumps Jack into the wall. 

“Don’t even think about it!” He says, hurrying down the stairs as Alex holds the door. 

“I’m just saying!” Jack yells after his older brother, “I could go play wingman for you!”

Quinn thinks that sounds like the worst thing ever, if he’s being honest. The last thing he needs is to rely on his brother to set him up. He could see that going wrong in a million different ways. 

The airport/pre-4th of July

You sigh, slouching down in your seat a little further as you take a sip of your coffee. You wish your anxiety didn’t have you at the airport almost two hours before takeoff, but here you were. 

You watch a few planes take off, ignoring your surroundings for a little while as you wonder where the people might be going and why. You respond to a text from your aunt in Boston, who you were going to visit, and quickly get lost in your thoughts again. 

You let your eyes start to wander after a bit and they land on a cute boy a few rows over. He’s sitting with a few other boys around his age and you glance over at their gate. New Hampshire? What was even in New Hampshire? 

You watch him for a few more minutes, but shake your head before looking back out the window. You certainly weren’t brave enough to go talk to him and you didn’t want to get caught staring. Something about him seemed so familiar but you brush it off, figuring you were just imagining things. 

…

Quinn drops his backpack and sits heavily into the creaky airport chair, arguing with Luke about what they’d do first when they got to the cabin. There was no winning the argument but Luke liked to be a pest and Quinn had learned from being gone so much that sometimes he just needed to let his little brother bug him while he could. 

Airports were so boring and he’d luckily stalled enough that his parents didn’t have them all there three hours early for once. Quinn lets Luke “win” the argument finally, agreeing that they’ll go on the boat as soon as they get there. 

Quinn’s attention wanders and he looks around the airport, his eyes seeming to focus on the gate heading for Boston. His eyebrows pull together as he tries to squint and see the line of people boarding. He swears he sees a familiar face but he’s not so sure. 

There’s no way it was the same person he saw at the arena a few weeks ago, right? He blinks hard and suddenly he’s hit with a water bottle in the chest. 

“Dude are you good?” Jack questions him, waving a hand in front of the older boy’s face. 

Quinn looks at his brother quickly before checking where you’d been standing, only to find you’d already boarded the plane, “yeah, knock it off. Can’t you leave me alone for like five minutes ever?”

Quinn is mildly annoyed that his brother pulled the stunt when he did and he’d lost sight of you before he could be sure. Maybe you were from Boston and you were headed home. That wouldn’t explain why you were at USA arena unless your brother played there, too. 

He turns to Luke then, elbowing the youngest Hughes to get his attention, “do you play with any kids from Boston?”

Ann Arbor/football game/late August

You laugh as you try and keep up with Abby and Hannah, excited for one last year at the school that held your heart. You were convinced you could never leave Ann Arbor and luckily for one more year you didn’t have to. 

The weather was perfect that night as the first football game was set to kickoff in no time but the three of you had left a pregame a bit later than you planned for. You’re being rushed through the crowd by Hannah, who has a tight hold on your hand, when Abby suddenly veers off. 

“Hold on, I need to say hi to him!” She yells over her shoulder, causing Hannah to stop in her tracks and you to slam into her back. 

The two of you stumble a little but fix yourself, standing and watching where Abby had run off to. She moves to a group of guys and your stomach turns a little with worry, hoping she actually knew who these people were. 

You’re about to march over when you see the boy. The one from the airport. You shake your head a little, trying to make sure you weren’t imagining what you were seeing, but he really is there. Abby is talking to his friends and he’s got a soft smile that makes you want to know more about him. He’s not as outspoken as his friends and his hands are stuffed in his pockets like he’s not sure what else to do with them. 

Hannah catches you staring and laughs, “that’s Quinn by the way. I know you’re looking. Abby met those boys a couple months ago while she did her classes on campus. Can you believe they’re the ones we saw at Pop’s at the beginning of the summer?”

“They’re who?” You ask, your brain speeding through the memories, but all that keeps coming up is Quinn. 

Pop’s, the airport, and now here. Was he the guy from the rink too? Was that the voice you’d recognized. There was no way you’d been in all the same places for the last three months and never talked to each other or actually truly met. What kind of fate was playing around with you two?

You glance back over at Quinn only to find him looking at you, too. Your cheeks feel instantly hot and you bite your lip, looking away quickly. You hated that you reacted so quickly to something so simple. Maybe he was looking at Hannah, you tried to reason with yourself. Or maybe he recognized you too. 

…

Quinn is shocked when a bouncy little blonde runs up to Josh and says hello to him. She’s happy as can be and Quinn would be lying if he said she wasn’t cute. She quickly introduces herself and motions back at her friends, talking a mile a minute, when Quinn realizes he’d definitely met her earlier that summer. 

Her and her friends were going to the game but if the boys wanted to hang out after they’d be having a small party at their place and they were more than welcome to come. Quinn gives Josh a little nod when the taller boy checks with him for plans and Josh smiles at the girl he’d been talking about for weeks now. 

Quinn looks around the crowd of maize and blue, looking for the friends she’d mentioned, and his eyes freeze on one in particular. You’re so familiar in that moment and suddenly you’re the prettiest girl he sees there. It was the same feeling as the rink, the airport, and now here in Ann Arbor. What were the chances that he’d ran into you this many times but never talked to you? 

He sees you and your friend watching in their direction and he catches your eye. You blush and bite your lip, making him smile right away. That had to be the cutest thing he’d seen in a long time. He forgets that Abby has mentioned her friends and he’s about to walk over and talk to you when Josh grabs his arm. 

“Come on, we have to go this way to get to the field,” Josh says, nodding in the opposite direction of the girls. 

Quinn is about to argue, but sighs instead, “yeah, okay. Did you say we’re seeing them again later?”

+1 Your friends set you up/late August/post football game

“You wouldn’t stop staring at him. Don’t even try and lie about it now!” Hannah accuses, pointing her finger at you. 

You feel like you’re dying of embarrassment and Abby can’t stand up straight because of how hard she’s laughing over the situation. You were being bullied by your best friends and none of you could contain your laughter over it all. There were more than a few people watching the scene as you made your way around the field, trying to find which section your tickets were for. 

“Stop, I don’t even know him!” You say, though it’s only a partial lie. 

Abby snorts a little and carefully wipes a tear away from the corner of her eye, “holy shit, my stomach hurts from laughing so hard. Yeah, Quinn is awkward as hell but I think you two would be amazing so you’re definitely meeting him tonight.”

She’s quick to pull out her phone and text Josh, already making a plan with him to get you and Quinn cornered in the same area. You can’t fight her on this. Once Abby set her mind to something it was going to happen so you were just along for the ride at this point. 

The football game goes by too fast considering it was the last first game of the season you’d ever get as an undergrad, but the three of you are in such good moods that you hardly have time to be sad about it. 

You leave the game a few minutes early to try and beat some of the crowds as you head back for the house you all shared. You almost forget the boys are coming over as you head to the kitchen and grab a drink. You figured you had a little while before they’d show anyways. 

Popping the top of your can, you take a big drink and sigh. You hear Abby’s little giggle behind you and you whip around confused. You’re suddenly face to face with Quinn and you immediately blush in embarrassment. 

“Uh, hi,” you stutter, giving him a little smile even though you wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole. 

“Hi,” he says, and you know immediately that he was the one you’d almost run into so many times that summer. 

His smile is just as nervous as yours and you get why Abby had called him awkward before. He fidgets with his hands as he stands in front of you but it’s endearing somehow. He’s not overly cocky or trying to impress you somehow and yet you’re completely on board with getting to know him. 

He’s a stranger, technically, but he feels so familiar that you laugh a little. Quinn’s eyebrows furrow over the noise but he doesn’t actually ask. 

“Sorry, it’s just… did you want a drink or something?” you offer, trying to keep yourself from getting giddy over having him in front of you after all the months of fate making sure you dodged each other. 

His smile gets bigger then and he seems to relax, “yeah, that sounds good. Maybe I could steal you too and get to know you? If you want anyways.”

You nod, not hiding your smile anymore, “I think I’d really like that. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Peter Parker’s sister

Peter Parker x sister!reader

warnings:

a/n: this is LONG

prompt: @coffeeaff: “Hc where y/n is Peter Parker's sister!”

let’s start this out by stating the obvious: you were Peter’s other half

ever since you were kids, it’s always been “Peter and Y/N”

sometimes you’d literally have to be pried apart bc you refused to leave each other’s sides

may and ben went from zero kids to two in a day and had no idea where to go from there

especially when you and peter had nerf wars

“what are we gonna do, ben?”

*ben, cocking his nerf gun* “it’s nerf or nothing?”

once your aunt and uncle got the hang of things, you were all one big team

peter and you started growing up and going to school

it was new and scary for you

you came up with a secret way to say “i love you” to each other bc you were afraid the 5 year olds would make fun of you

“the lion says hi” (you were 5 and you really liked the wizard of oz)

every year you got placed in the same elementary school classes, turning into some of the most delightful kids who kept to themselves most of the time and showed real promise

until one year they wanted to put you in separate classes to see how you’d do alone

you and peter simultaneously had tantrums until they called may and ben and calmed you down

“what’s that noise?” -teacher at least 35 doors down the hall

the school almost switched your class so you’d be together again, but ben decided that the two of you needed a little bit of space to grown on your own

which worked! now when you guys got home, you’d run to your shared room and tell each other all the third grade gossip

by the time you reached middle school, you were in half of each other’s classes and most of the same clubs

by high school, peter was begging you to join band and the decathlon team

you can’t tell me you guys didn’t take the same foreign language class to talk to each other

“j'ai renversé du chocolat chaud sur le canapé” (I spilled hot chocolate on the couch)

“je vais retourner le coussin” (i’ll go flip the cushion)

now here’s where things get interesting

you were the first to know about peter’s newfound powers

because you walked into your shared room while he was stuck to the ceiling

“hey, uh, i can explain in a minute, but can you maybe possibly help me down?”

it took you an hour

he fell on top of you

“sorry! sorry, sorry! i’m sorry”

“start talking, please”

peter explained that he had the powers for 2 weeks and he has gotten stuck to so many things

he was scared

“don’t tell anyone!”

“since when have i been a snitch?”

you and him using your science brains to figure out how to deal with all of this

then ben died and everything wasn’t so good for a while

you’d find each other crying alone a lot

then sitting together and crying

and comforting aunt may every chance you got

sometimes you and peter made cookies for her and now peter likes baking and cooking

peter decided to become “spider-man”

which you weren’t completely psyched over but you weren’t totally against either

“pros: my brother is a super hero, cons: it’s dangerous and if i lose you, me and may will be very very sad. we already lost ben”

thrifting together

clothes and electronics

“do we really have to go through the trash, too?”

“yes, y/n, there could be some really cool stuff here!” *peter holds up a mechanical keyboard* “score!”

missing trains together

walking to school/home together

showing each other new music

walking into your apartment and finding tony freaking stark on your couch

sitting with may on the couch until tony calls you into the room

“so you helped create the webs for his suit?”

“i have no idea—”

“y/n, he knows”

“yes, yes i did”

getting to work as tony’s engineer/scientist apprentice

“y/n, this is a little weapon that i am gifting you so that if peter ever does something stupid, you can lend a hand. that is all it is for, kapeesh?”

mr. stark this, mr. stark that

peter’s tired, bruised-ass self crawling through your bedroom window at 2am was actually pretty normal

you are his wingman

he had to copy your homework a lot

“you owe me”

you almost died on the washington d.c. field trip but you were the chillest person there bc you knew peter was nearby

“dude! why are you so calm?” -flash

(fast forward to infinity war)

“holy shit! we’re all gonna die!” -ned

you grabbed peter’s arm right before he left

“lion says hi” you chuckled with fear in your eyes

“lion says hi” he repeated, handing you his hoodie from out of his bag “if i lose this, may will freak. keep it safe.”

you and ned talking about spider business on the bus

“do you still have that thing mr. stark gave you? the secret weapon?”

“yeah but it’s not much use right now”

you seeing a certain spider being lifted into space

calling the suit itself bc you have access to the comms

“peter? peter, what the hell are you doing? come back!” you were staring out the bus window

*line disconnected*

you called pepper

“ms. potts? hi, it’s y/n”

“they’re in space”

“are they coming back?”

“god, i hope”

and then may dusted

and all your friends dusted

and you were freaking out

and pepper called you

“oh, my god, thank god you’re okay”

“are peter and tony okay?”

“i have no idea.” she’s crying now “is your aunt okay?”

“she’s gone” you’re crying now

“oh, jesus. okay, hey, don’t worry, everything will be alright. i’m gonna get you a ride to the avengers compound. everyone we need is meeting there”

waiting weeks to find tony and your brother

your hopes were so high when captain marvel brought the ship back

you, steve, and pepper got there so fast

but your heart dropped when you heard “i lost the kid”

pepper and tony decided to adopt you since you weren’t quite 18 yet and tony knew what it was like to be young and alone

and you looked up to tony and pepper anyways

and they had already started to see you and peter as their “crazy ass yet talented nephew and niece” (tony’s words)

you were a bridesmaid in the wedding, though

and you’d never had a sister, so morgan was pretty great

you babysat a lot after you left the house because you secretly liked being back home

when the snap was reversed, everything was really really weird

peter was 5 years younger than you

you fought against thanos in a suit that you built yourself

peter didn’t know it was you until you landed in front of him to protect him and lifted your mask up with tears in your eyes

it was the most emotional hug you ever had

may was super proud of who you grew up to be

but she was upset she didn’t get to be there during some of the most important years of your life

mourning tony with your brother, trying to comfort him the best that you could

telling him all about the past five years

still having one of the strongest family bonds you could imagine because that’s the way it is

[gamerwoo]

Seventeen headcanon: Joshua as Nani and David’s son

from this svt as disney characters’ kids hc i did

a/n: i think there’s a second lilo & stitch or something like that but this isn’t based off of any of that since i haven’t seen it. but i think experiment 002 is in the series sooooo i guess it is kinda based off the series too

warnings: josh x female reader, hybrids, a small mention of death in the very beginning, mentions of bullying

-

So at first, Nani wanted Josh to be raised not knowing anything about aliens or experiments

It’s her first kid and she wanted him to be,,,,,”normal” for lack of a better word

But of course, that was very difficult, and Joshua ended up knowing about aliens around the time he was 2 or 3

David’s honestly impressed they even got that far tbh

“That’s all still a part of him,” David explained. “The aliens and the weird stuff, that’s just how his family is. We can’t keep him away from it.”

He even got his own experiment as a “pet” when he was about 5 or 6

Mrs. Hasagawa had passed away, and the experiments that she thought were ‘cats’ needed a home

Josh picked out experiment 002 aka Doubledip

He was a cute and essentially harmless (other than the fact that Joshua grew up basically sharing every single food he ate with Doubledip like ice cream and lollipops and stuff)

Josh nicknamed him DD and Double D, and they’ve been together ever since

As a kid, Joshua was super close with Lilo, Stitch, Jumba, and Pleakley

He absolutely adored all of them and always wanted to go hang out with them despite Nani being lowkey upset about it

“It’s fine, they’ll keep him safe,” David would always remind her. “They’re ohana after all.”

However, there reached a point where Joshua got bullied kind of like Lilo did

His norm wasn’t necessarily the norm for everyone else

No one else believed in aliens or experiments

No one else had the same thoughts and ideas that Joshua did

No one else was interested in the same things Joshua was

He knew he had to say DD was his dog, but he didn’t think that he would have to be a completely different person just to fit in

But that’s what he did

Instead of focusing on aliens and experiments, he focused on surfing

Thankfully, he was raised learning how to surf, but now that was his #1 interest

He stopped visiting his aunt and Stitch as often

The only real connection to his ‘weird’ side was DD because how could he just give up his childhood best friend?

Well, other than Seokmin

Seokmin was always the only person who ever knew what Joshua was truly like, and he even tried to stop Josh from changing himself to fit in

“I can literally grow a tail!” Seokmin pointed out. “I talk to a dolphin on a daily basis! I’m the king of weird, and I’m still a prince!”

“Yeah, but that’s normal in your kingdom,” Joshua pouted as he sat out in the ocean on his surfboard, talking with Seokmin. “Here, it’s not. Normal isn’t experiments and aliens and spaceships.”

So despite his best efforts, Joshua just became as average as possible, which he would have to see when they hung out on the beach and went for walks together

But in the ocean, Josh could say and do whatever he wanted without being judged

Like feeding Pudge the fish’s offspring

So since becoming less weird since he was a kid, Joshua got more friends, including the girl who worked at the froyo place he often hung out with Seokmin at

And pretty much everyone calls him Shua

Her name was Mali and she feared the ocean despite living a five minute walk away

He usually spends most of his time there so that’s how they met

He’s basically just a regular

And it’s at that froyo shop that Joshua’s life starts to change

“So y’know Seungcheol?” Seokmin asks

“Not really,” Joshua shrugs. “I just know you talk about him and he’s a prince of some other kingdom.”

“Right, well he’s having a birthday party this weekend, and I can bring a plus one. Since I don’t have a princess or anything to bring, I wanted to bring you.”

“Really? Why not like, one of those girls lined up to date you or whatever? What are they called?”

Joshua obviously isn’t royalty so he doesn’t know much about these things

But it’s fine because Seokmin doesn’t know anything about experiments or surfing either

“I don’t want to bring a date, I want to bring my best friend!”

“I thought your best friend was Kipper.”

“I can’t bring a dolphin on land, barnacle head.”

Cue Josh flinging his damp towel at Seokmin’s head and going, “Not cool, bro.”

And Mali sighing behind the counter about how, “We really need a sign that requires you to wear a shirt in here.”

So skip to Seungcheol’s party

Admittedly, Joshua is pretty nervous

He keeps trying on different clothes but all he really owns are shorts, t-shirts, tank tops, flip flops/sandals, and sneakers

He’s a surfer dude okay, he doesn’t really need to dress up for anything

“DD, does this look okay?”

DD simply ignores him and continues to lick the bowl of candy Josh keeps for him

David and Nani have to help him find something decent to wear

Although David insists he should wear something super fancy since Seungcheol is royalty

“So...is he a lion then, or...?” he keeps asking

And then Joshua has to explain for the hundredth time that he’s kind of a lion-human hybrid thanks to magic stuff and yadda yadda yadda 

Tbh, Josh doesn’t even get it

Seokmin finally picks him up, and they go to Seungcheol’s kingdom for the party

With David still asking questions even after they leave because he doesn’t understand this magic concept

And yet he understands aliens

Sort of

Josh is used to acting normal to fit in, but now he’s trying to act Extra Normal TM

But god he’s so curious because he’s never really been outside of Hawaii so he can’t help but just look around in wonder at all the sights and the people

And then Seokmin asked, “Do you wanna meet Seungcheol?”

“Like...the prince?” Joshua stammered

“You do remember that I’m a prince too, right?”

“Yeah, but-- DD!”

Joshua suddenly spotted his experiment trying to eat the cupcakes

He didn’t even know DD went with him, but he assumes the little experiment hopped into his backpack before he left

“So much for acting normal...” Seokmin mumbled under his breath before running over to help Josh with his little problem

Now, 002 wouldn’t be an issue, but his name is Doubledip

Essentially, all he’s going to do is lick all of the food before putting it back

If you couldn’t tell, that’s disgusting

So DD is loose at the party of a royal, and it would be all Joshua’s fault that the food is ruined

So the urgency to collect DD and get him back into Joshua’s backpack is very, very valid

Well, and the fact that Joshua wants to come across as normal as possible

Thankfully, DD only licked 5 cupcakes and 3 mini hot dogs wrapped in croissants before Joshua managed to stuff him back into his backpack and handed him a bowl of pretzels to keep him occupied

And it was as Joshua was zipping his backpack up that he accidentally bumped into you

You lived in Seungcheol’s kingdom, but you were one of the people who actually quite liked him

Since Seungcheol is Kovu’s son and Kovu was considered bad before, there’s some controversy over him but that’s another story for another time

You wanted a drink and he accidentally backed up into you

You spilled your drink a little but at least it didn’t get on your clothes

You both spun around and began apologizing even though you didn’t really do anything so you weren’t sure why you were apologizing

“I-I can get you a new drink!” he stammered

“It’s really fine,” you assured him with a polite smile.

But you’d never really seen either of them around, and you figured you should mingle a little since you were here, right?

“You guys aren’t from around here, are you?” you asked.

The one behind him stepped forward and smiled brightly, “Nope! I’m Prince Seokmin, the son of King Eric and Queen Ariel.”

“Oh! It’s an honor to meet you!” you bowed to him before looking expectantly at the one who’d bumped into you.

“That’s just Shua,” Seokmin shrugged. “He’s from Hawaii.”

But y’know what, just Shua from Hawaii was kinda cute

And he thought the same

Plus, you just seemed normal and that’s what he wanted

You were just wearing some jeans, a nice shirt, a cardigan, and a beanie

Compared to all the royalty and important people here, you were like a breath of fresh air

“Hey, Seokmin!” a new voice called

And Prince Seungcheol strolled over and grinned at the other prince he called his friend

“Oh, I see you’ve brought a friend -- and you met _____!”

Seokmin introduced the two and then the four of you continued to make some small talk

You were just thankful that Seungcheol didn’t say or do anything to blow your cover

He eventually walked away to greet other guests, leaving the three of you alone again

But you continued to talk

Seokmin kinda took the hint that he was a bit of a third wheel at this point and left to find someone else to talk to

He’s a prince and he knows other princes so it’s fine

He mumbled something about wishing someone named Wonwoo was there but you didn’t pay any attention to it

You talked about where he was from, what he did for fun, what his family was like and stuff

He may have slightly bullshitted and/or left out some things but it’s fine

You also talked about you and what you did and your family

You may have also slightly bullshitted and/or left things out but again, it’s fine

Eventually, Joshua asked if you wanted to dance since you’d been standing at the snack table just talking this whole time

And since Seokmin was a great wingman and took the bag with DD in it, he was safe to do whatever

So you agreed and the two of you danced and talked all night

And you were so worried when the party was over that you wouldn’t see him again

But he asked if there was any way he could see you again and your heart fluttered

And you said you were sure you could make that happen

You had to figure out what surfing was, anyway

But after that was all over and you went home and the butterflies had died down just enough for you to think about something other than your growing crush on Joshua from Hawaii

You remembered that you weren’t exactly who or what he thought you were

And now you had to keep that hidden from him

And you weren’t sure how long you could do that

And when Joshua was on the way home with Seokmin, who was happily talking all about how he got to see Hansol again and he finally got to meet Hyunggu and everything

DD popped out of the backpack with his bowl of now salt-less pretzels

And Joshua remembered that you didn’t know what he was really like

Or his family

And now he’d have to keep that a secret from you, too

So fast forward to the next weekend, and you were planning to visit him

Joshua was doing his absolute best to like, hide everything

Make sure Lilo, Stitch, and any of the others won’t be around

Make sure his cousin won’t be hanging around

Make sure DD is at Lilo’s

Meanwhile, you had to make sure you looked normal before you left

Which was basically just wearing normal bottoms and wearing a hat

So when you arrived in Hawaii, Joshua was there to eagerly greet you

Though he didn’t really seem it on the outside

He’s the stereotypical surfer dude so he’s just very chill overall

He basically had the whole weekend planned out

Most of it consisted of teaching you how to surf

“I actually hate the water,” you admitted as he walked with you down the beach toward the water

He chuckled, “Well, then you’ll hate surfing. It’s in the water”

So instead of surfing, he compromised and made sand castles with you on the beach

He said something about wanting to show you the joys of fresh coconut milk so you offered to climb up and get one

“Nah, it’s cool,” he chuckled. “It’s high up anyway.”

“I’m a great climber!” you reassured him

And then you climbed up a tree and got him a coconut

But then he had to open it himself which was a whole struggle by itself

And then he brought you to his favorite place to go after surfing: the froyo shop

“Make a new friend, Shua?” Mali smirked

“Be nice. This is _____, she’s from Seungcheol’s kingdom. You know him, right?”

“Kovu and Kiara’s kid, right?”

You noticed that Mali joked around with Joshua a lot, but it was very lighthearted

You liked her

He had to work that night but he invited you because he worked as a fire torch performer (dude fuck if i know the correct term) at a restaurant

Which also meant you got to meet his parents, David and Nani

“So you’re the girl he’s been talking about so much,” David grinned as he went to shake your hand

And then Nani gently whacked him in the shoulder and reminded him, “You weren’t supposed to mention that,” in a hushed tone

Which you heard

David only shrugged and gestured to you, “Well she’s blushing, isn’t she?”

Overall, you thought his parents were great

Though, they did seem a little strange

Then again, who were you to judge?

David would start to say something only for Nani to quickly cut him off

You decided to not think much of it

You did have to admit, watching Josh twirl fire around without burning anything or himself was impressive

Why did he have to seem so perfect?

Afterwards, he joined you guys for dinner

Nobody let the alien thing slip, so overall, he thought it went pretty good

He was really sad to see you go but you promised you’d come back again soon

And you did

The two of you actually saw each other a lot

And feelings on both sides only continued to grow

He did finally have to introduce you to Lilo and Stitch and DD, though

He knew he couldn’t keep them hidden forever, and besides, everyone still fell for the dog thing when it came to the two experiments

Well, Doubledip was originally supposed to be a ‘cat’ but whatever

And Josh just made Lilo swear to not talk about aliens or mention anything weird

“I really like this girl,” he explained to her, “so don’t mess it up”

“You know, I’m fantastic with girls!” Pleakley chimed in

Joshua quickly shook his head, “You and Jumba aren’t invited”

So eventually, you had met all of Joshua’s family

Well, he called it ohana and explained what it meant, and you thought it was really cute

He was happy to find that you did buy the dog story, and you really liked DD and you got along with Stitch

Tbh he was most worried about Stitch

DD gets along with pretty much anyone, but Stitch isn’t so easy

Things were going super well, so he was ready to ask you to actually be his girlfriend

He brought you on a nice picnic on the beach where the two of you first hung out

And he had everything laid out and the two of you were starting to eat, and he was going to ask

But then he heard his name being shouted from down the beach

Lilo was out and about with her daughter and Stitch

And Stitch was very excited to see you

He bolted down the beach toward you and jumped on you, knocking you back onto the blanket

And also knocking your hat off your head

Out popped your fuzzy white round ears

Stitch pulled back and looked at you, head cocked to one side

Joshua just froze and stared at you

Because you weren’t technically human

You were from Seungcheol’s kingdom, so you were an animal that used magic to stay human

That magic turned you into a human/animal hybrid, just like Seungcheol

But instead of being a lion, you were a lemur

It was why you wore hats to hide your ears and jeans and skirts to hide your tail

It was why you didn’t like water

It was why you could climb trees so well

You weren’t normal

And now Joshua knew that

“I-I gotta go,” you quickly stuttered out, grabbing your hat and scrambling to get up

“_____--”

You shook your head, jamming your hat back on your head to conceal your ears, “Save it, I already know what it is.”

“B-but you’re-- What are you...?”

“I’m a lemur, alright?” you huffed, tears pricking your eyes because you knew Joshua was not going to want anything to do with you

Even though you were a human and could stay human, you couldn’t get rid what you really were

It was weird, and people didn’t like weird

“You don’t have to say anything about it,” you continued as you tried your best to keep from crying, “because I already know you’re going to say I’m weird and you won’t want anything to do with me. So I’ll go and I won’t bother you again. And...I’m sorry for not telling you.”

And then you ran up the beach, not looking back once

Joshua sighed and dropped his head, closing his eyes as he rubbed over his face with his hands

Stitch just looked up at him and said, “Oops...”

Heartbroken, Joshua walked back home alone

Nani and David knew what he was planning, so they were so excited for him to get home

But seeing him with a frown as he threw the half-empty picnic basket on the counter before going to his bedroom without a word, they knew something was wrong

“I’ll take this one,” David told her before going to Joshua’s room

David knocked softly before entering to find his son face down on his bed

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No,” he mumbled into his pillow

“Did...she say no?”

“I didn’t even get to ask, dad,” he sighed, lifting his head to look at David

“Did something come up?”

“Stitch tackled her and knocked her hat off and she...”

How was Joshua supposed to explain this?

He could deal with aliens and experiments, but human animals were something he hadn’t dealt with before

Would his dad even believe him?

“What? She got a weird haircut or something?” David chuckled

“She had fuzzy animal ears,” Joshua finally told him straight-out. “She’s an animal that’s human by magic.”

“Ah, right. That stuff you explained before. Y’know, Nani had to tell me how that worked like, seven times before I really got it.”

Joshua just let out a groan and dropped his head back in his pillow again

David sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, “Who are you to judge? You keep an experiment as a pet -- and worse, it licks everything you eat.”

Joshua pushed himself to sit up and sat beside his dad, “That’s not it, dad. I still like her, it’s just--”

“I thought you wanted a ‘normal’ girl, though?”

He just shrugged, “I like her. But she ran away before I could tell her. Besides, I’m way weirder...”

“Then if you like her for being a little different, why can’t you be okay with yourself being different?”

“A little?”

“Do you think being an animal is only a little different?”

And it’s that talk that caused Joshua to go after you

He packed up the photo of his ohana that he kept on his nightstand

And he packed DD

And he left for Seungcheol’s kingdom

You were obviously just as upset, if not more, back home

The silver lining was that you could wear your usual pants which had a hole cut in them for your tail to comfortably stick out

You wanted to spend the next day just sulking

But you ended up being called to Seungcheol, claiming there was someone who needed to talk to you

Joshua got Seokmin to bring him to Seungcheol’s because he realized he had no idea how he’d find you

And walking into Seungcheol’s throne room, Joshua was the last person you expected to see

“Sh-Shua? But...w-what are you--”

“I like you,” he blurted before you could finish what you were saying. “I like you with your ears and your tail because you’re still you. But before you say anything, just... These are things you should know about me, too.”

He opened his bag, and out popped DD

“Double D isn’t my dog. He’s an alien experiment from outer space, and the only thing he knows how to do is double dip foods, and lick things before putting them back. He’s stupid, and I love him”

Then he pulled out a framed picture and handed it to you

You looked it over and saw it was Joshua, Nani, David, Lilo, Lilo’s two kids, Stitch, DD, and some...things you didn’t recognize

“That’s my whole ohana. It’s not just the people I let you meet.”

He told you all about the aliens included in the photo, and you listened, glancing between the picture and him

And when he was done, you just stared at him because honestly, you didn’t suspect him to be anything but normal

But for some reason, maybe because he could relate to you, you liked him even more

Neither of you were considered ‘normal’ so didn’t that make you an even better match?

“I just...wanted you to know that before you decided to never speak to me again,” Joshua concluded

You weren’t sure what to say even though you knew exactly what you wanted to say

You just didn’t really know how to say it

“This is the part you tell him you still like him, too,” Seungcheol whispered in your ear

While Seokmin was Joshua’s wingman, apparently Seungcheol became yours

“I like you, too,” you told him with a sheepish smile, feeling your cheeks heat up

Joshua’s grin matched the brightness of the sun

“So...you wanna go out sometime?” Joshua asked

To which Seokmin whispered, “You’ve already done that before. Just ask her to be your girlfriend, kelp-for-brains”

So he does

And you accept

The next time you visit, you properly meet his ohana

Jumba and Pleakley definitely take a little getting used to but you do think they’re pretty amusing with the way they bicker

“They’re like an old married couple!”

“Don’t say that in front of Jumba, though”

You visit him all the time

So often that sometimes you just spend weeks there at a time

You eventually work your way up to being able to sit on Joshua’s board while he surfs

He makes sure to only go on baby waves so that way you don’t fall over or get wet

You befriend Mali at the froyo shop, and despite roasting Joshua sometimes, she always says how cute the two of you are

And the two of you live happily ever after

[neshabeingchildish]

08. Am I Dreaming?

Detemined: A Chasper Fic

Charlotte could hardly believe that, "Of all the people in this world, my Uncle Roscoe is actually getting married. I honestly can't even imagine it."

"Uncle Rox is getting married??" Jasper asked.

"To whom?" Henry followed up with.

"They met at the Couch Potatoes Cafe," she told them. They went in to sit and order and both selected the same couch at the same time and decided to share it. 

"Awwww," Jasper cooed.

Meanwhile, Henry joked, "And now they'll live forever and ever on somebody's couch together."

"I think she's got a place of her own. I haven't met her, but the wedding is this weekend, so I've got to get out of work to go."

"I wanna come! I love weddings. I love Uncle Rox. This is like a perfect event." Jasper said. 

"Yeah, sure. You want in, Hen? If for nothing else just to see who is marrying my uncle?"

"I actually am morbidly curious." 

"There should still be those tuxedo gumballs in the Man Cave."

"Naw. Those taste like butt," Henry said.

"Right. Schwoz did put some butt in there," she told him. 

"Ewww. Gross!" Henry declared.

Jasper submitted, "Who's butt did he put in? Butt tastes good if done right."

"Done right?" Henry asked. Charlotte was simply equal parts horrified and mortified.

"You know, hygienically and genetically. Like…" he glanced at Charlotte, then at the ground and said, "If they're well put together and take care of themselves, it's a treat for all."

"That's quite enough on that subject," Charlotte said.

"I have additional questions later," Henry told him.

.

Whenever the guys met at Charlotte's house, Jasper said, "I made you a corsage."

And Henry chimed in, "I picked out the flowers."

She gave them both looks, withheld calling them idiots and instead informed them, "You guys know that we're guests at a wedding, not the prom, right?"

Henry rolled his eyes and said "Jasper will do the honors…"

But, she snatched it, set it down and said, "I'm not wearing that. Let's go."

Henry gave Jasper a pat on the back as he grabbed the corsage. "I'LL wear it, Dude." And he did.

When they were seated in their seats and everybody stood up for the bride, Charlotte gasped and Henry stared, speechlessly as Nurse Cohort came walking in, wearing a bridal gown. "HEY! Look who it is!" Jasper said. "Uncle Rox has great taste."

Henry whispered to him, "She's a villain and an enemy and she's about to be married into Char's family."

"A hot villain," Jasper corrected.

"Obviously," Henry agreed. Charlotte was still just staring, glad that the woman didn't remember or recognize her as she met with Uncle Roscoe at the altar. 

Whenever the officiator asked if anyone had any objections, Charlotte's nervous foot syndrome was in overdrive. She should definitely say something, right? Point out to everyone that the woman is a known villainess and enemy of Swellview, yeah? She didn't have to.

Dr. Minyak came bursting through both double doors with the loud announcement, "I have an objection!"

Now… Charlotte had no idea if this was better. Henry, on the other hand commented, "Well, this just got interesting."

"Interesting is definitely a word," Charlotte said. 

Minyak went on to ask, "Who is this man and for what reason are you marrying him?"

"Newsflash, Horatio. That will they/won't they you made up in your head? A resounding they won't! Now, leave. Before my husband to be takes you outside." 

"But I ask, again, who he is!"

"He's Roscoe. A simple man who doesn't ask for much and lets me run the show. Roscoe, Dear?"

Uncle Roscoe nodded and picked Dr. Minyak up. He used to be a bouncer and he bounced him right out of the building before the ceremony proceeded. "Well… maybe she's not going to be doing evil anymore now that Dr. Minyak is clearly out of her life," Charlotte said, hopefully.

"WOOOWOOOO! GREAT JOB, UNCLE ROX!" Jasper called out.

Charlotte had no clue why Jasper was such a huge fan of her uncle, but simply asked him, "Can you calm down over there?"

"I told you, I love weddings and this one had an action/adventure element to it!" She rolled her eyes.

Henry said, "Hey. It'll be okay. If she's up to no good, we'll stop her before she can harm or taint him." She nodded and he beckoned her closer, "But what's the deal with you and," he gestured his head towards Jasper, who was pointing his phone to record and said as he did, "Uncle Rox, you're doing great, Sweetie."

"What do you mean, what's the deal? You told me to back off and I backed off," she said.

"I mean… I told you to back off if you didn't really want him, but things seem different for you these days. Like, you like him."

"Well, if I do, it doesn't matter if I can't treat him how he deserves. You pretty much made the decision for me. Are you backpedaling, now?"

"No! Not backpedaling. Just… seeing if YOU'VE changed since our last chat. You like him?" She folded her arms. "He likes you. Like, he loves you."

"Hen… Has Jasper said something about me?"

"Kinda got mad whenever I inserted myself last time. But, last report I have him was that you're definitely on the same page. Should I recant?"

"I’ll talk to him later."

"Good, I don’t know WHAT to say. But, if you're still… Just… Let him down easy, though. 

"I said I’LL talk to him."

"LET HIM DOWN EASY THOUGH!"

Jasper and a few guests looked at the two of them and Charlotte panicked and said, "He has tourettes."

"Insensitive and ableist," Henry commented.

She told him, through her teeth, "This is no longer your business. Thanks though." The last time she listened to him, he made her rethink every emotion and observation that she had about Jasper. Now, he was essentially saying that she should have just followed her first mind anyway! Which..  now she wasn't sure was correct. If she had let the advice of Henry move her, maybe it was because deep down, some part of her agreed with his doubts.

.

At the reception, she asked him to dance, "But, you hate dancing." She furrowed her eyebrows and he quickly hopped to it, "And yet, you're gonna bless me with a dance!" 

She took him to the floor and started to sway in his arms as the Ol School ft XScape & Keith Sweat Am I Dreaming remake came on. Her uncle and new aunt were singing to each other nearby and she laughed a little bit, but got right to business, "You know… I'm not interested in romance and coupling. That stuff is like one of those things that I think I might one day get bored after doing everything I needed and wanted to do and reluctantly give it a try. What about you?" 

Jasper shrugged his shoulders and admitted, "I love love. I want a soul mate, wife, kids, pets, all in one house, no custody disputes or visitation rejections. No divorce. No different last names. Just a family that I built with my bare hands alongside a life partner."

"Cool. So, you know what you want and that means that you'll be more likely to go after that and only that with someone who also wants that." He knew what this was. She was finally addressing his interest in her and she was declining, as he could have guessed she might.

"Yeah. It's gonna be quite a find, if I ever find anybody that would even consider me that way."

"You will. I have faith in you."

"I do too. I believe in my dreams. But, maybe instead of having faith in me, have a little in yourself. How do you know that you won't want anyone until your life is over? Maybe you just haven't paid attention to the right person."

"Maybe. But, I'm not ready to start doing that for anybody. I've got goals and plans and I never factored in even the possibility of connecting before any of them are met. Plus… I don't even get… well… you know. I've been openly ace for like 3 years. Guys don't even want to be my friend when they find that out."

"Guys like that never wanted to be your friend in the first place then. If they truly did, they would be willing to try anything for you."

"What's there to try? I'm not quite as adventurous as you, what with your butt taste buds and all…"

He blushed. "I only meant that I'm not against trying it, with the right person."

"Here's the thing, Jasper. For you, the right person is kinda whoever you're into at the moment. We've spoken about this before. You get into somebody, and you're in love, hard and heavy until you're not. Then, you just move on. Any girl who knows you probably would never date you. What happens when you get bored with her? You just bounce."

"I… didn't realize that my actions could be read like that." He sighed, "Okay. It's not hard for me to fall in love and I put a lot into things, whenever I do. But, if it isn't working out, I might move on, but I'm also latched on a lot of the time. I don't get over it as easy as it looks. You have to remember who you're talking to. Just because I'm not whining doesn't mean I'm not pining." She stared at him and the song was ending. They pulled apart and he said, "But, I get what you mean. Somebody who's slow to jump and neutral with her response might need a little more evidence as to how badly I want her."

"Or. She might not be interested in any of that and just likes having her friend."

"Or that. Thanks, Char. You're always good with advice." Even about yourself, he guessed. He found Henry and wondered, "Ready to go?" Henry took one look at Jasper and knew which direction Charlotte had gone.

"Yeah. Did she at least let you down gently?"

Jasper bit his lip and nodded, "Like it hurt her to do it, but like it had to be done."

Henry sighed and wrapped an arm around him, sending Charlotte a text that they were going to head out. Outside, there was a girl waiting at the corner and she said, “Hey! Excuse me! Dr. Minyak stole my Uber and I’d just put my purse down in it. Can I catch a ride and pay you guys back? I promise, I’m good for it.”

Even though they weren’t about to order a car, Henry said, “Sure thing!” Jasper tried to decline and walk instead, but Henry practically forced him into the agreement. He didn’t feel like being a wingman, but Henry did leave the party early for him, and the reception was always one of the best parts, because hot girls with marriage on the mind… So, he agreed and they waited with her for the car, sprinkled with small talk and heavy flirting.

.

After work, Charlotte and Henry met Jasper upstairs, in the store. He was on the phone, but still locked up with them. Whenever they got outside, Charlotte wondered, “Who in the world is he talking to?”

“I think her name is Emily or Honalee? We met her outside of the wedding.”

“Amelie?”

“Yeah! That’s it! I guess you know her?”

“Yeah. Uncle Roscoe dated her mom years ago and she still sorta sees him as a father figure.”

“Which is ridiculous, because he is literally an oversized child,” Henry said. They heard Jasper giggle on the phone and Charlotte shook her head. Unbelievable. Just because I’m not whining doesn’t mean I’m not pining. Yeah right. Pining for Amelie, who apparently was literally the first girl you saw after we parted ways! 

“You okay, Char?” Henry asked, sure that he knew exactly what her suddenly sour mood was about.

“Yeah. But, we’ve gotta vet her. I know that she’s like family to Uncle Roscoe, but Uncle Roscoe isn’t a great judge of character, and Jasper doesn’t have a very good track record with selecting girls!”

“She seemed alright to me,” Henry said.

“From the one car ride that you shared with her, when she was most likely being polite in order to appease the guys that just helped her get home?”

Henry rolled his eyes and wondered, “How do we figure out if this girl is good for him, or not?”

“Simple…” Charlotte invited Amelie over to hang out at her house with the three of them. Jasper thought it was weird, but didn’t make a big deal of it. But, whenever they were all there, Char was acting weird. First, she kept asking Amelie pretty intense questions like, “What is it that you think that you might see in Jasper? Because, I’ve known him nearly half my life and only saw any appeal a very short time ago.” Then, there were comments, “Well, I guess it’s a good thing that you ran into Jasper and Henry, real regular heroes. Especially Jasper. Great guy, but don’t let the dimples fool you. He’s quite the heartbreaker.”

“Nothing could be further from the truth,” Jasper said, laughing, uncomfortably. “What is with you?”

Amelie said, “I’m sorry, Charlotte. I didn’t realize that you and Jasper had history. I wouldn’t date my cousin’s ex!” 

“I am not your cousin,” Charlotte said at the same time that Jasper said “I’m not her ex.” But, she heard it and tilted her head at him, “Maybe not, but let’s be really honest about the circumstances in which you met this girl…” She didn’t say anything else. She didn’t have to. He met Amelie when he was leaving from being rejected by Charlotte and of course, if this DID go anywhere, it would definitely simply be some type of rebound.

“But, that doesn’t mean that you should get to be rude to your guest,” he told her. “Or, to me, for that matter. Why do you feel like you have the right to say anything about who I may or may not date?”

“Whoa oh,” Henry said.

“I think I should go,” Amelie said.

“No. I’LL go, since I’m the one making everybody uncomfortable,” Charlotte said.

“YOU LIVE HERE!” Jasper snapped. 

Charlotte got up and retired to her room. It was quiet for a while before Henry said, “Well, the chicken was just lovely.” Jasper got up and stormed after Charlotte and Henry got up and tried to stop him. “Hey, Jasper, Buddy. Where ya goin’?” “She can’t brush me off, then get mad whenever I’m trying to move on!” 

“Okay. BUT, can she feel insecure about trusting you after you indirectly professed love, then started talking to another girl mere hours later?”

“NO! She didn’t even want to give me a chance. She has no right.”

“Can she actually be concerned that maybe, just maybe you’re making a bad decision, since you do kinda have a track record for going all in after girls who turn out to be disasters.” Jasper stopped. “I just don’t think you getting mad is the best way to deal with whatever Char has going on in her head.”

Jasper folded his arms and said, “I just want her to be real with me and say whatever she actually means. I want her to explain it to me like I’m stupid, because getting me to take a hint is clearly not working. The hint I took was that she wanted me to leave the thought of us behind completely. I even said that I was willing to work harder to prove myself and she told me not to!”

Charlotte appeared at the end of the hallway and said, “I can hear you, Jasper!”

“Good! Because we need to talk!” He complained.

She leaned against the wall and said, “Henry, can you go check on Amelie and maybe apologize to her? I’ll call her to speak for myself in a little while.” He nodded and reluctantly left them alone. Charlotte sighed and said, “You’re right. It would be unfair of me to turn you down and get mad at you for moving on, but that’s not what this is. I’m upset because, like Henry said, you seemed all about me, then suddenly, you were back into the same old habits. Amelie is cool, or whatever, but you know absolutely nothing about her! She could be a criminal. She could be a… Republican!” He leaned against the wall next to her. “Everybody gets concerned when you like a girl, because you’ve had not only bad luck, but bad judgment in that department. I’m the only one who will tell you, while Henry and the guys at work are content to let you look a fool, so long as you possibly get some action. I’m the person that usually has your best interest at heart.”

“You're the person who makes me feel the worst about everything that's wrong with me!”

Now, she was really sad and slid down the wall to sit down on the floor, “I see. Sorry. You will not have to deal with it again. You can leave whenever you want.”

He sat next to her. “It’s not completely like that. I mean, you can be pretty harsh and don’t really compliment me very much, but… I feel like I have to always be trying to be a better person with you and that gets to be heavy.”

“I’ve never placed that responsibility on you, so how is this my fault?”

“It’s not about fault, it’s about… You like me right?”

She couldn’t bare to look at him right now, because her emotions were all over the place and she didn’t even like when her emotions were present, much less active, “You're one of my best friends. Of course I like you.”

“That's not what I mean.”

“Well I mean it.”

“And you don't think we could ever be more than that, right? I mean… we like each other more than that. I don't understand why we can't act on it. You’re the one who basically told me to get over it and move on. I didn’t understand, but I tried to respect it, and now HERE we are.”

“I think that if we did that, we'd be taking on a huge risk. Do you want to possibly ruin what we already have?” Her hands were so interesting, right now. She traced them with her fingertips, stretched and wiggled those digits, meanwhile studying them.

“No… but if we make it, the risk will have been worth it.”

Finally, she looked at him. His optimism and dreamlike wonder was becoming such a problem and worst, she felt like he had a point. Jasper. He couldn’t have a point. She had thought about this. She thought about everything. “Knowing yourself and knowing me… do you think that we'd make it? Honestly. One or both of us would have to go through a lot of changes, and even then, that would be two people we've created to make it work making it work, not necessarily who we are..”

“You're so smart.”

She nodded her head and pointed to him, because finally, he got it. “And that's never going to change.”

“Unfortunately for you, I'm not nearly as smart,” Jasper said and moved in to kiss her. Now, she saw it coming and she knew that she strongly believed everything that she had just said, so the smart thing, the responsible thing would be to dodge his lips and get up and go. The thing that she did was lean forward to meet him in the middle, and wrapped her arms around him as she kissed him back.

[were-cheetah-stiles]

The Recruit (Chapter 18) - Mitch Rapp

Author: @were-cheetah-stiles

Title: “Day 78, Part II”

Characters: Mitch Rapp, Steven Rapp & Reader/OFC

Author’s Note: thank you to @ninja-stiles for helping me decide what to do with this chapter WEEKS ago. I was going in all different directions and she really helped to shape this. Also, I’m assuming that Jake Gyllenhaal joke was with you, Britt............ I’m assuming. 

The Hills - The Weeknd

Warnings: SMUT. like dirty bathroom sex kind of smut. cursing. 

Chapter Seventeen - Chapter Eighteen - Chapter Nineteen

"Bro.. do you know who that is over there?"

"Hmm?" Mitch glanced over to where Steven was looking. He didn't recognize the man that was being seated at the table nearby. He shook his head and looked back at his food.

"Dude, you know who Jake Gyllenhaal is."

Mitch shrugged. "Name sounds familiar."

Steven shook his head and looked back at the table full of food in front of him. "You are so nonchalant about everything." Mitch laughed and shrugged again, his mouth full of cornbread. "So do you have any pictures from your trip?"

"What trip?" Mitch asked, his mouth full after shoving a forkful of mac-n-cheese in it.

Steven lowered the barbecue rib from his mouth and put it back on his plate, confused as to how Mitch didn't know what trip he was referring to. "....... the trip you took after Katrina... the one you were on for more than a year...?" Steven stared at his brother, with his brow furrowed.

"Oh.." Mitch chuckled and glanced down at his plate. "Um, not really."

"No pictures? At all?" Steven seemed bamboozled by that concept, as he was absolutely addicted to his iPhone and was garnering quite a following on Instagram. Steven was definitely more a child of their generation than his brother.

Mitch nodded and stuffed more cornbread in his mouth, chewing the dry carb in an effort to stall. "It just wasn't that kind of trip, you know? I was trying to..."

"Get over Katrina, I know. I just figured.. I don't know, a landscape or something. Where'd you even go?"

Mitch felt the need to lie about this. He didn't think that his brother would understand why, after seeing his fianceé be killed, Mitch would return to the Middle East for “leisure”. "Spent some time in Asia. Hong Kong, Thailand, Japan, Indonesia, Vietnam, Cambodia.. I really liked Cambodia." Mitch had never been to any of those places. "I wish I had taken some pictures now. The thought just never crossed my mind at the time." Mitch shrugged.

Steven went back to eating; his suspicions having been quelled. "I'm guessing you're not really allowed to take pictures on your trips for work either."

Mitch chuckled and shook his head. "No, not really."

"Well, listen..." Steven sighed, and wiped his hands on the napkin tucked into his shirt collar, protecting his suit from their messy lunch choice. "I don't need pictures of your trips, and I don't really even need the stories either... I just need my big brother back. I can take trips down to D.C. when you're in the States, and I'm assuming like every one else you get holidays off. You and Y/n can always come back up here for the Fourth of July."

Mitch understood how much he had abandoned his younger brother and he felt guilty for it, but he could not give Steven anything definitive for fear of letting him down again. "We get some holidays off, and if we have that off, then yea, we'll definitely come up here for it."

"Or I could come down to D.C. I bet Independence Day in the Capital is probably sick."

"Yea, maybe.."

Mitch and Steven finished their lunch and began walking back to Steven's office building, when Mitch spotted a used bookstore.

"Uh, do you mind if I pop inside for a minute? I want to see if they have something.. if you have to go back to work, I'll just see you later at dinner?" Mitch asked, as they stepped out of the way of the other pedestrians. Steven shrugged and followed his brother.

"What are you looking for?" Steven said as Mitch looked for someone who worked there.

"Excuse me, um, Derek?” Mitch glanced at the young man’s name tag. “Where are your classics?"

The skinny young man behind the check out desk took his time raising his gaze from his magazine up to Mitch, but when he did see the brothers, a smile spread across his face and he leaned over the counter. "Over there, honey." He pointed of to the right. "Let me know if I can help you with anything."

Steven snickered and Mitch walked off, not noticing that he was being flirted with. "What are you looking for?" Steven asked again, Mitch's eyes scanned the shelf full of old secondhand books.

"I just want to see if they have something..." Mitch poked his head around, moving the stacked books around on the shelves.

"I can help, you know?" Steven complained, tiring of his brother's silence.

"Don't need it." Mitch grabbed a dusty blue, hardcover book off the shelf and brought it up to the register. "How old would you say this is?"

The employee gave his best pout as he examined the book. "Maybe a third or fourth edition?" He rung up the book and handed it to Mitch, who had a slight smile on his lips. The cashier watched as the two brothers walked out of the store together.

"Alright well that was fun.... I'll see you guys at like 8?" Steven said smirking and shaking his head, holding the door to his building open, half standing in the lobby.

Mitch nodded and walked back towards the subway.

You sat on a cozy love seat, under a heat lamp, at the rooftop bar of The Standard Hotel in the Meatpacking District of Manhattan. You, Mitch and Steven decided to get drinks after dinner and enjoy a Tuesday night on the town. Mitch was standing at the bar, trying to get all of your orders in, and you seized the moment. You leaned forward towards Steven and asked a question that had been in the back of your mind since you found out about Katrina.

"What was he like growing up?"

Steven put down his phone when he heard your question. He glanced behind you to see Mitch still waiting to be served at the bar. "Funny. He was always smart and driven and all of that, but he was lighter then, you know? When our parents died, Mitch really took it hard."

"The boarding schools..." You interjected.

Steven nodded. "We got shipped off to Bethlehem, Pennsylvania to live with our aunt, step-uncle, and three cousins, and Mitch just didn't handle it well. I was young enough, that I was just sad, but Mitch was angry. He got in fights and he didn't go to class.. He stole my uncle's gun and car and just drove out to the woods and shot targets until it got dark. The police finally found him and.." Steven shrugged. "It was failed boarding school attempt, after failed boarding school attempt, after failed boarding school attempt... The last one made the difference though. He found a coach that saw the potential in him and he became Varsity captain of the lacrosse team by Sophomore year. He did winter track and swim team in the fall."

"He went to 'Cuse on a lacrosse scholarship, right?" Mitch had never told you that, he didn't like talking about college very much, but you had done some snooping in the files in Stan's office when they were both gone.

Steven smiled and nodded. "Yea, he was a beast... an actual All-American athlete, you know?" Steven shook his head. "I love my brother a lot, and I don't mean to sound cocky, but when I got to Syracuse a year after him, it was like me and the school and our friends and lacrosse brought out the Mitch I grew up with. He was good again, light, effervescent, funny, talkative... I think being around a sport he loved, and good friends, and his brother-"

"And Katrina.." You didn't like beating around the bush.

Steven nodded. "I think it all did a lot of good for him.

"So the Mitch that we have today is because of what happened to Katrina then?"

Steven paused and nodded. "It was not at all fair that that happened to him twice.." Steven came around and sat next to you on the seat, trying to not shout over the music. "...that he lost people so suddenly and tragically, twice? It was just fucked up. He left about two weeks after her funeral and he stayed in touch and kept his apartment for about four months, and then he just disappeared, sold the place, and I didn't hear from him again until like two weeks ago when he told me he was coming up here with you."

You fidgeted with your hands in your lap. "I don't know what to to say.. that's... just.." You trailed off and shook your head, looking around to see Mitch finally speaking to the bartender.

"I've never seen him like he is now though. I can tell that the anger is somewhere under the surface, like it was when we were kids, but at the same time he's...." Stephen paused looking for the right words. "You clearly make him really happy, Y/n. He's different than he was with Katrina. Maybe he just grew up more or something. I mean, they were only twenty-three when they got engaged."

"What are you two talking about?" Mitch came over, balancing three drinks among his long fingers, and sitting where Steven had been sitting, across from you.

Steven hooked his arm around your shoulders, hugging you close to his side, and smiled. "Talking shit about you, big bro."

You grinned and patted Steven's arm, appreciating that Steven didn't divulge the true nature of your conversation. Mitch smirked and rolled his eyes. "Then you get no drink, little bro."

Mitch leaned against the wall, sipping his whiskey and watching as you chatted up a girl with Steven. He thought back on the last time he saw you act like a wingman at a party. He remembered the electricity that surged through his body when, in your tight, short, cream colored dress and thigh-high black suede boots, you leaned over his lap, your hand resting on his thigh for stability, and ordered his favorite drink without him ever having told you what it was. He remembered watching you gyrate on the dance floor, and the way your body moved in your dress. He took a deep breath and took a sip of his drink, suddenly feeling overheated. He scanned the dark room, full of sweaty, grinding bodies, swaying to the overly loud music, and saw you, grin and nudge Steven as he got dragged out onto the dance floor with the girl he was trying to snag.

You turned around, a mischievous and drunken smile plastered on your face. You spotted Mitch and began strutting off the dance floor towards him, purposefully swaying your hips in an exaggerated fashion as you approached him. You paused to down the rest of your champagne and leave it on the bar, turning back to Mitch, and dancing your way over to him. He stared at your legs, barely covered by a high waisted and short red leather skirt. His eyes made their way up your body passed the tight, long sleeved, but low cut black shirt, and choker necklace, and up to your red-stained lips moving as you sang the words to the song playing over the speakers. He grinned, and rubbed at the stubble on his chin, chuckling and shaking his head at your tipsy behavior.

"Come on..." You pulled at his hand, trying to get him to follow you onto the dance floor.

Mitch didn't budge from the wall, instead pulling you back against him. "I haven't seen you like this before." He said, his lips curling up at the corners, as he snaked his arm around the small of your back.

"I have fun sometimes." You whispered up to him, tonguing your top left canine as you smirked. You swayed your body against his, your hands pressed against Mitch's chest, and your face inches away from his. "Come dance with me."

"I haven't danced in a long time..."

"But you've danced.." You ground your body against his a little harder, and smugly licked your lips.

"I don't think so, Y/n/n.." Mitch was trying to suppress a grin. He didn't want you to know how much you were turning him on. He wanted to remain stubborn and win, so that maybe, instead of making him dance, you would want to leave and go home instead.

You were definitely the more stubborn of the two of them. You looked up at the speaker above the two of you in the ceiling as you heard the song change. You grinned and then pouted. "I love this song. Please?" Mitch shook his head.

"Your man on the road, he doin' promo... You said, 'keep our business on the low-low'.."

You connected your eyes with his and began silently singing the words to him. "I'm just tryna get you out the friend zone, cause you look even better than the photos..." You smirked and wiggled your fingers at him in a come hither fashion.

Mitch laughed, dropping his head down, and pushing the back of his hand to cover his smile. "Nope." He killed his whiskey neat and placed it on the tall table next to him, finally wrapping his hands around your waist.

The bass on the lightly remixed version of The Weeknd's, "The Hills" dropped and you turned around, your hands pulling Mitch's arms tighter around you, and you began to grind your body against his. Mitch pressed his lips together and tried to remain resolved in his stubbornness. He rolled his head back and quickly gave up. He'd pretty much do anything you wanted. Mitch grabbed your wrist and pulled you into the dense crowd of people.

"I only love it when you touch me, not feel me. When I'm fucked up, that's the real me. When I'm fucked up, that's the real me, yeah.."

You grinned from ear to ear and wrapped your arms around Mitch's neck. He tried to suppress his smirk and pulled your body close against him. You swayed back and forth against him, smirking as you remained inches away from his face. You pressed your hand against the nape of his neck, leaning him closer and you connected your lips to his. His hand made it down to squeeze your ass as you continued kissing and grinding on each other.

The deejay seamlessly flowed The Weeknd into a remixed version of "Drunk in Love" by Beyonce and you smiled into your prolonged, sloppy kisses. You broke away and turned around, keeping your arms hooked around his neck. You felt Mitch begin to sway his hips against yours in a way that kept good time with the hypnotic rhythm. You felt your desire for the way his body moved against you begin to pool against your black panties. You were entranced at the natural way his body moved to the music.

Your left hand broke free from its sweaty grip around his neck and ruffled your hair in a way that wafted the familiar vanilla scent into his nostrils. He was more intoxicated by you than the alcohol. Mitch snaked his hand up your arm and placed your hand back around his neck. He then reached around, cupping his hand under your chin and pulling up. He felt you twitch against his grip, a quick flashback beginning to form in your memories.

"It's just me. It's just us." Mitch whispered into your ear, his lips grazing your cheek.

You breathed deeply and surrendered to Mitch's pull. He locked his lips against yours, his hand holding tightly against your jaw, as he bit and pulled at your bottom lip. He heard the faintest moan come from your mouth, as your fingers curled into his hair and you pushed against his cock. His free hand worked its way up from your hip bone, lightly pulling at your leather skirt as his sticky skin moved, to your sternum, and you whimpered. You could barely hear the music over the sound of your heart thumping in your ear drums. Mitch tugged at your bottom lip again and you could no longer fight the urge.

You grabbed at his hand, pulling it off of your throat, and led him out of the crowd. Your skirt was slightly off kilter from the dancing, and Mitch reached down with his free hand to pull it back in place. You were no one's to look at but his.

You led him down a long and dark hallway and towards a stairwell. Mitch stopped you and pushed you up against a wall, the sound from the speakers in the club caused the surface to vibrate against your body, as Mitch pushed your head to the side and began kissing at your neck. You pushed Mitch off and began walking down the staircase, wobbly from the alcohol and your high, black suede booties. You grabbed his hand again when the two of you made it to the bottom of the stairs and he followed you towards the end of a slightly less dim hallway. Mitch glanced around, the walls were covered in graffiti and stickers and chewed gum, and the music was muffled, but still decipherable through the ceiling.

You opened the door to the women's restroom and crouched down to glance under the stalls. It was empty. Mitch followed you in and reached up to the metal arm at the top of the door, locking it closed. Mitch suddenly got pushed against the door by you, who ran your hands through his hair and pressed your lips against his. He leaned down, looped his hands under your thighs, and picked you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist, still kissing wildly at him, and suddenly felt the sensation of cold and wet porcelain against the bottoms of your bare legs.

Mitch pushed your chin up and left long, sucking kisses against your throat and jaw, as you fumbled to get his pants undone. He finally relieved you of the task, unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and pulled them down. You bit and pulled and sucked at his bottom lip, moaning into the action as he grabbed your waist, pulling you off of the sink to stand in front of him.

Mitch turned you around, watching you press your delicate fingers into the white porcelain, and he ran his hands up your thighs, reaching them underneath the supple leather of your skirt, and pulled down your underwear. You glanced over at the full-length mirror on the back of the door and saw Mitch's cock, fully erect and waiting to be buried inside of you. Mitch looked up, you were staring back at him in the dirty mirror in front of you.

"You trust me?" He asked your reflection. You nodded. "Do you want me?"

You bit your lip. "God fucking yes."

Mitch smirked, placed his hand on the back of your neck, and pushed you against the sink. You gripped onto the sides as you felt him push your skirt up around your waist.

"Oh god." You moaned loudly, as Mitch pushed his thick cock inside of you pussy; knowing that you were wet, but not actually checking. Mitch let out a loud exhale as he explored your body from a position that he had been to afraid of experiencing with you up until that morning. He felt his length fill you up completely and he shuddered at the sensation of his hips meeting your ass.

Mitch began to pick up his pace, and his strength, fucking you with the speed and force of a man who knew he was probably about to be caught by bouncers. Mitch watched as you moved one of your hands from the sink, to up against the wall in front of you. He listened to your staggered breathing, muffled by the bass of the music from upstairs.

"Harder." You said, barely audible amidst your moans.

Mitch obliged and began thrusting into you with even more force. You grunted and pushed back against his thrusts, causing Mitch to quickly lose control. You wanted him as deep inside of you as he could possibly get when he finished.

"Fuck, baby." Mitch whined, as he watched and felt you pushing back against him. "Fuck."

Mitch leaned forward, pressing his hand against yours on the sink, and gripping your shoulder as he quickly came undone. He pressed his body against yours again, and felt himself become drained of his seed. You moaned loudly as you felt his throbbing dick empty inside of you. Mitch collapsed his head onto your back and felt your heart racing against the back of your ribs.

"You okay?" He asked as he pulled out, a drop of his cum quickly dripping onto the dirty tiled floor between your feet.

"That was...so good."

Mitch walked over and unraveled a roll of toilet paper from the closest stall. He wiped himself up, tucked himself back in his pants and zipped them back snug around his waist. He wiped you up, and pulled your panties from your ankles back up around you, then pulled your skirt back down. He pressed his body up against you, your ass smushed against the porcelain once again.

"So, that was okay?" Mitch asked, placing his hands on your hips, and staring into your y/e/c eyes.

You nodded. "That was the hottest thing ever... but you owe me."

Mitch smirked. He knew you hadn't finished. He fully intended on repaying the debt. "I know."

"What time is it?"

Mitch looked at his watch. "2330."

"Do you think Steven will be pissed if we leave early?"

"Yea, I doubt we were even really going to see Steve again tonight." Mitch commented, reaching up to unlock the door.

"Why's that?" You asked, standing next to him with your hand on the handle of the door.

"Oh, Steve is definitely going to take that girl home and have sex with her, so I really don't think he'll be pissed if I take this girl..." Mitch gestured to you. "... home with me and have sex with her until she comes."

You grinned and followed Mitch out of the club.

Guys. Mitch is going to be the death of me. Um, I also think I’m gonna close the tags for The Recruit around Chapter 21? So get your requests in ASAP. 

@chivesoup @confidentrose @alexhmak @dontstopxx @iloveteenwolf24 @surpeme-bean @snek-shit @kalista-rankins @parislight @cleverassbutt @damndaphneoh @mgpizza2001 @chionophilic-nefelibata @ninja-stiles @sarcasticallystilinski @teenage-dirtbagbaby @mrs-mitch-rapp93 @alizaobrien @twsmuts @rrrennerrr @sorrynotsorrylovesome @lovelydob @iknowisoundcrazy @5secsxofamnesia @vogue-sweetie @dylrider @ivette29 @therealmrshale @twentyone-souls @sunshineystilinski @snicketyssnake @xsnak-3x @eccentricxem @inkedaztec @awkwarddly @lightbreaksthrough @maddie110201 @hattyohatt @rhyxn @amethystmerm4id @completebandgeek @red-wine-mendes @katieevans371 @girlwiththerubyslippers @theneverendingracetrack @snipsnsnailsnwerewolftales

[beaglelinefics]

The Wedding: Part 2

NCT Yuta X Male Reader

Writer: Jaime

Part One

Masterlist

           “Does this tux make me look sexy?”

        Yuta groaned from the bed as you tried on your fancy outfit and admired yourself in the mirror. The two of you had checked into the hotel just after the ceremony and had around an hour before you had to be at the reception, and he had been sulking on the bed the entire time. He hadn’t seen any of his family yet—thank god—but he knew he’d be seeing them very soon, and he wasn’t looking forward to hearing their attempts to get him to go out with whatever poor girl they had lined up for him.

        “Yuta, dude.” You glanced over at him in the mirror and frowned. “Babe!”

        “Oh my god, what?”

        “Are you okay? You’ve been groaning and sighing since we got here!” You carefully draped the snazzy jacket over a chair, slipped into a more comfortable—and cheaper—outfit, and took a seat beside your “boyfriend” on the bed. “Want to tell me what’s going on in that head of yours?”

        He sighed and flipped over so he could look up at you pitifully. “In an hour I’m going to have to face a family who up until this point hasn’t really believed I was gay, and I’m not completely sure how they’ll react to me having a boyfriend.” He shyly reached out to grab your hand and said, “They might say some things about you… I’m sorry for dragging you into this, Y/N.”

        “Hey, no, none of that,” you scolded lightly. “I can handle some mean comments from your family, but I can’t handle seeing you like this. Whatever they say or do to you… just know that I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

        Yuta smiled that pretty smile of his and squeezed your hand. After a month or so of hanging out, he was finally comfortable enough with you to pose as a believable couple. You had a great time together, and Hansol agreed the two of you could convince even him. The problem with all of this was you came to realize just how amazing Yuta was—in addition to how attractive he was—and you may or may not have developed a small crush. I mean, you spend enough time with someone like that in this sort of situation, and you’re bound to like them at some point. You just hoped you could survive the weekend and then get on with your life without kidding yourself into believing Yuta may actually like you back. This whole fake dating thing was harmful to your health; how could Yuta even look at you like that? Like he actually loved you? It just wasn’t fair!

        “Thank you, Y/N. Now let’s get ready and blow them all away.”

        He finally got up from the position he’d been in for hours and headed for the bathroom, probably to take a shower. He had admitted to you when he’d picked you up that he’d forgotten to take one this morning with how nervous he was about this whole thing. So thankfully he was going to remedy that. While he was off getting clean, you walked over to the closet and grabbed what Yuta had brought for the two of you to wear to this reception. Fancy tux and shiny shoes. Just the essentials. You took them over to the bed to lay them out nicely, even bringing over Yuta’s, and got ready to change. You’d gotten into the pants and were working on switching shirts when your companion exited the shower wearing a fluffy robe. You froze and stared at his in panic when you realized you were shirtless and very vulnerable; why had you decided to take a five-minute break and check your Instagram feed?!

        “Hey, Y/N, have you seen m…y…” he trailed off when he saw you standing by the bed half-naked and felt his body flush. He’d of course seen the pictures of you and Hansol on the beach when you two had celebrated your anniversary, but it was a lot different seeing your body in person. You had a very sexy body…

        “Have I seen your what?” you asked calmly, trying to seem as casual as possible, as if you walked around shirtless all the time. Well, I mean, you did, but that was in front of your roommates and any current boyfriend, not guys you liked!

        “Uh, my, uh… my hairbrush?”

        “Yeah, I think I saw it over here.”

        He watched as you wandered over to the desk and rifled through the bag he’d left on it, having far too good of a time admiring the way your muscles moved on your back every time you took a step. You let out a sound of victory when you finally found the lost item and grinned at your friend as you handed it over.

        “Thanks,” he muttered softly before locking himself in the bathroom again. He was fucked, man.

        “Hiya, Uncle Yuta!”

        Your “boyfriend” tensed when he heard the voice of a small voice call his name from behind him. The two of your stopped and turned to see a young woman attempting to calm down two energetic boys while another older boy smiled and waved. And meeting the family had now commenced. You felt your heart melt at how sweet the boy looked with his big eyes and dimpled smile. Pretty smiles definitely ran in Yuta’s family, that’s for sure. The boy left his mother’s side and ran up to you, throwing his arms around your companion happily.

        “Hey there, little one,” he greeted back as he returned the boy’s hug. “You guys want to take the elevator with us?”

        “We would love to,” the woman breathed in relief. She had finally managed to get a hold of her other two sons and herded all three of them into the lift with you and Yuta. “Who’s your friend here?”

        “Oh, right.” He slid his hand into yours and smiled at his family. “This is, Y/N, my boyfriend. Y/N, this is my cousin and the three little troublemakers she calls her children.”

        “It’s nice to meet you, Y/N,” she told you with a warm handshake. “I’m glad Yuta has found someone nice, and hopefully now my mom and aunts will stop their crusade. Forcing a girl onto Yuta is not going to make him straight. I mean, I should know.”

        “Pardon?”

        “I was pressured into a marriage that was doomed to fail,” she answered casually with a shrug. “After the birth of our third child, my husband and I realized we were both interested in the same thing: women.”

        “You’re kidding!” you laughed in surprise. “How’d your family take it?”

        “Let’s just say that this is the first gathering I’ve been invited to since I came out.”

        “She came out five years ago,” Yuta supplied helpfully.

        “Hey, maybe you’ll get an invite to Thanksgiving.”

        “Yeah, after I’m thirty maybe.”

        “Yeah, I wouldn’t hold much hope for that either,” she agreed. “Anyways, you look nice enough, and Yuta needed to find a nice person. Enjoy the festivities.”

        She waved to you both before corralling her children towards the table that held their name placards. On the other hand, Yuta led you straight to the bar. You watched him with raised eyebrows as he ordered some decently hard liquor and leaned against the counter to study his family.

        “Hey,” you started with a light hand on his arm, “we’re going to be just fine.”

        “I feel like I’m going to puke,” he admitted, and you could see that he did look kinda pale. He really did look like he was going to vomit.

        “Whoa, okay, no puking.” You placed a hand at the back of his neck and turned his head so he was looking at you and not at the party. “Just look at me, okay? We’re going to be fine. It’s just a party, Yuta.”

        “Y/N, my entire family is here,” he reminded you. “They’re all here, and they’re all going to hate the fact that I have a boyfriend.”

        “Not all of them. Your cousin over there doesn’t hate me.”

        “Well she’s gay too!”

        “Okay, so who cares? Yuta, if your family hates who you are, then you shouldn’t have to try and appease them in any way. My parents? They still won’t talk to me, and I came out to them six years ago. I’ve given them space and time to come around, and I still call them on Christmas every year, but I don’t try to appease them or make them happy. They don’t deserve that.” You smiled and rubbed Yuta’s cheek with your thumb reassuringly. “If your family doesn’t accept who you are, you owe them nothing. So let’s just go out there and have a good time, okay?”

        “…Yeah, okay,” he finally agreed with a nod of his head. “Let’s fucking rage, babe.”

        “Without the alcohol,” you added as he tried to grab the drinks he’d ordered. “We’re not here to get plastered. This is a classy establishment.”

        “Fine, whatever.”

        He quickly kissed your cheek before dragging you to the table that held your names. Wait a sec… did he just kiss your cheek? You were about to ask him, but then he was pulling out a chair for you and you had no choice but to sit there and smile politely to the other guests seated at your table. That sneaky bastard…

        “Yuta! So glad you came!” an older man greeted happily. “And you brought a friend! That’s great. So much better than showing up stag. You have a wingman now!”

        “Uh, actually, I don’t need a wingman,” Yuta informed his family member.

        “Finally got yourself a nice girl? Good for you, man!”

        “No, I—“

        “Yuta!”

        “Fuck me,” Yuta whispered when a shrill voice called to him. I mean, if he was offering, you had no—

        Suddenly a woman was shoving herself between you and Yuta and waving over a pretty girl from the other side of the room. You could only assume this was one of the aunts trying to set Yuta up with a girlfriend. What a bitch.

        “Yuta, I’m so happy you could make it,” the aunt was telling her nephew. “We missed you at the ceremony! We were so worried you wouldn’t be able to come, but I just had a feeling you would so I invited this lovely young lady for you to meet.”

        “Uh, hi, I’m Yuta,” he introduced himself awkwardly.

        “Here, let’s make some space for her,” Yuta’s aunt insisted as she started to push at your chair. Oh, hell no.

        “Look, I appreciate getting the invite, and of course I’d come to support my cousin in her union to what’s-his-face, but you trying to set me up with this girl is not okay,” Yuta told her as he grabbed your chair to keep you from being yanked away from him. “It’s incredibly rude and bigoted, actually, and I came here already with someone special. I’d like you to meet Y/N, my boyfriend.”

        He took your hand and pulled you up to your feet, glaring at his aunt as you just smiled and waved awkwardly. “Hello, pleasure to meet you,” you offered to the half of the room that was now paying attention to what was going on.

        “So you have a boyfriend now?”

        “Yes. I do.”

        “You bring a boyfriend to my daughter’s wedding and think we’d be okay with it?” she scoffed. “I go through all the trouble of finding a nice girl for you to meet, and you think it’d be fine to bring a boyfriend? That’s what I like to call ungrateful.”

        “Mom!” the bride gasped out in horror as she rushed over to the scene. “Mom, stop it! What are you doing? Oh my god, Yuta, I am so sorry!”

        “Oh, hey, congrats on the whole wedding thing.”

        “Thank you! Congrats on your boyfriend.” She leaned in and whispered, “He’s cute.”

        “I know, right?” Your eyes widened upon hearing Yuta agree that you were cute. “Where’s what’s-his-face?”

        “You know, one of these days you’re going to learn his name.”

        “Never see that happening.”

        She rolled her eyes and shoved him playfully. “Seriously though, I’m glad you came, and I’m glad you brought along the cute boy you’ve been admiring for a while. Now, Mom, let’s leave these two alone and go over here, shall we?”

        They left the two of you alone, and Yuta cleared his throat awkwardly when you turned to grin at him.

        “Let’s go dance!”

        He dragged you onto the dance floor and nervously started to move to the beat. All the while you couldn’t wipe that huge grin off your face, and he knew he couldn’t avoid the topic for much longer.

        “So,” you began casually, “you’ve been admiring me for a while?”

        “Y/N, can we just—“

        “Uh, no, sir, you need to answer the question.”

        “Okay, so, yes, I’ve liked you for a long time now,” he admitted with a sigh. “I remember seeing pictures of you and Hansol together and thought you were cute, and then we got partnered together in BioChem, and I was a goner. So when I got invited to the wedding and Ten suggested I get a fake boyfriend, I immediately thought of you.”

        “Why?”

        “Because I was hoping all this pretending would make you like me for real.”

        “Hm… interesting assumption.”

        He narrowed his eyes as you took the opportunity to take the lead. All of this was very interesting to say the least.

        “Are you making fun of me?” he asked.

        “Oh, absolutely. But I will say you got lucky here, sweetheart. All this pretending did make me like you for real.”

        “Oh, shit, really?”

        “Yep!”

        “…So, then, like… would you want to go out with me after this?”

        “Yuta, you will not be able to get rid of me easily.”

        “Good to know.” The two of you swayed there for a few moments before you realized Yuta was staring at you. “Can I… Can I kiss you?”

        A smile tugged at your lips. “All you have to do is ask.”

[oceannocturne]

So @aporeticelenchus was a True Friend and sent me links to watch a ton of Gilbert and Sullivan stuff so tonight I watched Pinafore while doing my homework and these are my reactions (in no real order):

“So do his sisters and his cousins and his aunts!”

Said sisters and cousins and aunts pouring out of an actual crate onto deck and just wait there’s probably just as many of them as their are sailors...

“What never?” “No, never!” “What never?” “Well...hardly never.”

That One Aunt of Sir Joseph’s who actually seems like a lovely person, bothering her nephew, comforting Josephine, and looking Very Disapproving while Ralph is being sent to Boat Dungeon

Sir Joseph not knowing what a brig is

Sir Joseph swinging onto set on an anchor wearing every possible flotation device known to man

What kind of a name is “Little Buttercup” for a full-grown adult woman???

Also she switched Ralph and the Captain at birth...so Josephine’s gonna marry someone her dad’s age??? Like I know that’s not scandalous for the time or anything, but the whole thing is treated like Young Love so it’s kinda weird that one of the Young Lovers is apparently old enough to be the father of the other...

The heck kinda occupation is “baby farming”?!?!???

The actress playing Josephine is beautiful and all of her expressions during “Never mind the why and wherefore” were perfection. I love her so much.

That one sailor bro who pipes up with ‘nah it’s all kosher cuz he’s an Englishman.’ Dude, you are a True Wingman.

But also it’s hilarious how everything’s fine cuz he’s English.

Also Buttercup reminds me a ton of Ruth from Pirates of Penzance. The way she reacts when she first sees Ralph xD

Also I kinda feel bad for the Captain, he’s just trying to do what’s right and take care of his daughter.

All the social commentary is gold.

Dick Deadeye. Just...smh xD

Josephine’s white dress is #goals

Sir Joseph’s whole song where he sings about how his sycophancy and lack of decisiveness is what got him so far along the ranks... @every politician ever

Kinda sad that that’s still relevant

‘Carefully on tiptoe stealing’ = ‘With catlike tread’. G&S, I see you reusing material, you’re not fooling me! ;D

When Ralph comes out at the end with that awesome costume change he totally looks like the prince from Cinderella xD

Also I love how the captain’s like ‘well this is my lot in life guess I’m Not Allowed to speak Posh English anymore’”

“If You Please” xDDD

I mean I’m glad both couples got together but like...British Societal Structure, you are a Hot Mess that needs to get its act together.

Also love how being high born makes Ralph automatically qualified for Captainship. I get that that’s the point, it’s just...wow. W O W.

...did Sir Joseph marry one of his aunts??? O.O

a Proper British Ending, I love it xDD

[jupitermelichios]

Smallville Recaps: S1E2 “Metamorphosis”

This is what every other episode of Smallville was trying to be. This is the best goddamn episode this show ever had, evil villain, heroic heroes, comprehensible plot, and it is all downhill from here.

Wow, they're really proud of that terrible CGI spaceship from the pilot, huh.

Every time they show Chloe's “wall of weird” they choose to do a close-up on the headline “man looses finger from left hand, grows it on right hand” so until they tell me otherwise I'm going to assume that that's super significant for some reason.

Cosmo sex tip #667: why not try leaving a box of live butterflies in a girl's bed and then filming her without her consent when she opens it. It really sets a romantic mood.

I'm liking villain of the week's mom. Finds out her son is filming Lana without her knowledge or consent, and actually tries to do something about it! Admittedly her solution is military school, which is never a good solution, but at least she's actually trying unlike ever other fucking parent in this town!

So butterfly guy appears to get sexual arousal from fireflies. You know, like people do.

Okay, props to butterfly guy, when his mom says she's sending him away he packs up all his bugs and their food into his car and gets the fuck out of dodge to a Papa Roach soundtrack. Anti-props for the fact that he doesn't have proper cases for them (the bugs, not Papa Roach), and a jar breaks and he gets superpowers from evil kryptonite fireflies. But still, this is a very proactive family. Good for them.

Well that was an uncomfortably long helicopter shot. Right into Lana's bedroom. That's not creepy at all.

Wow, Chloe Sulivan is a bitch. I'd almost respect it, if only she wasn't being a bitch to Whitney the nicest guy in town.

Case in point, Whitney notices butterfly stalker guy making Lana noticeably uncomfortable, immediately steps in to protect Lana. If I was Lana I would have super-appreciate the save. But it's framed like Whitney being overprotective for some reason. Butterfly guy is literally stalking her!

I love the little detail that the Kent's apples are so horrible Lex won't even eat one to be nice. No wonder they never make any fucking money.

Jesus, butterfly dude has had superpowers for all of a day and he's jumping right to attempted murder. What the hell dude?! Would you not at least try intimidation first?!

Well, that's not how fire works even a little bit, but I appreciate that they didn't let Whitney die in that crash, so I'm giving you a pass this time show.

Lana's got a horse. But not the same horse she was riding to the graveyard last episode, so I guess she really did just abandon that horse. I hope it's okay.

Lex was skinny-dipping with a girl at 14. I know money is an aphrodisiac, but honestly, that's pretty impressive. Baby Lex got game.

I love that after only 2 conversations, Lex has appointed himself as Clark's wingman extraordinaire, and he takes the job fucking seriously.

Butterfly guy's mum continues to be really pro-active. Sees he's turned into a weird insect monster, immediately tries to get him help. Obviously he then kills her, but still. She tried. RIP the best parent in the history of this show.

Lex plays Warhammer. Lionel forces Lex to play Warhammer as strategy training. That's actually fucking amazing. I really love Lionel Luthor sometimes.

Lex's mum is seriously fucking gullible. “This lead box is made from the armour of St George.” Ah yes, lead armour. The best protection. Completely Dragon-proof. That sounds totally plausible.

“Are you blowing me off for your boyfriend?” Dude, you barely know each other and you just asked her to go over your Lit paper. It's not like you had a fucking date. Back the fuck off.

Lana following the proud Smallville tradition of breaking into people's houses. Discovers that Clark's telescope is focussed on her bedroom window. Assumes he's into astronomy. I mean, thinking the best of people is admirable, but you'd get kidnapped a whole lot less if you learnt to distrust people.

Okay, so Lana being morbid and making the 'meteor that killed my parents' necklace, understandable in a none-more-Goth kind of way. Her aunt Nell making it and giving it to her is just fucking weird. Although given what we learn about Nell later on, fairly indicative of her general approach to parenting.

Lana mentions once, in passing, that she's going to talk to Clark. Butterfly dude's first reaction is murder.

Given what happens in the rest of this show, it's honestly such a relief to have an episode where the bad guy is actually the worst dude in the episode. Even Jonathan's being pretty reasonable this time. I know it won't last, but I'm enjoying it while it does.

Jonathan is seriously trying to argue that Luthor-corp's legally run fertiliser factory is a more likely cause of super-powered teenagers appearing all over town than, say, alien meteor rocks that emit an unknown kind of radiation. Fucking thinker of a year here, give that man a Nobel prize.

Huh. Chloe is implied to think that Clark has a crush on Greg. Given the whole secrecy, only has a crush on one girl who he has no chance with and basically avoids her, thing, that's actually a pretty reasonable assumption, and therefore totally out of character for her.

Chloe apparently read about Amazon tribesmen who gained insect powers from being bitten by insects. You know, like really happens in real life. Also apparently “bugs have very short lifespans”. All bugs. Because all bugs are he same. Basically identical. Classic Chloe, I knew that logical reasoning wouldn't last.

I love that Chloe is so bored by Clark and Pete she just wonders off halfway through conversations with them and tries to break into nearby houses as a way to avoid them.

Oh good, butterfly dude has kidnapped Lana. Fucking why?! I know she's cute, but she's also the most boring human being on the planet and a fucking terrible girlfriend. You don't want her dude!

Whitney is honestly and sincerely apologising for his behaviour in the pilot. Because he is the best. Even when he's injured and scared for Lana, he still takes the time to say sorry.

In the grand tradition of Smallville's stupid ways to get rid of villains, butterfly guy accidentally drops a digger bucket on himself and gets crushed. Although then a load of weird bugs run out from under it, so maybe he just turned into 100 beetles?! Sometimes a family can be 100 beetles standing on one another's shoulders wearing a person suit.

While Clark is busy mostly loosing a fight with Bugboy, Whitney's first thought is rescuing Lana. Because he is an excellent boyfriend.

Meanwhile Clark can't just give back her necklace like a normal person, he has to leave it on the porch and knock on the door and run away like a child playing a really lame prank. Grow-up Clark. Act... however the fuck old you're supposed to be. 17? 36? I have no idea, but act it.

[letterstopoldark-blog]

Pilot (Part I)

Dear Poldark,

Hi. I’m here. Why? Well, I love historical fiction. I love the 18th century. I needed something to fill my Droughtlander. Supposedly, you’re going to fill this void in all of your tri-cornered hat glory. I am promised love, scandal, 18th century England, and objectification of the male physique. I mean, okay. I’ll try anything at least once. 

Enter a you, tall, dark and handsome (or should I say, pol, dark and handsome? heh... sorry,) scoundrel wearing a red coat. Despite the fact I am American and literally every piece of American propaganda since I was born has told me to find red coats and tri-corner hats distasteful, I somehow don’t hate you in the first few scenes in which I see you. You seem apathetic to the war around you, gambling a few coins away and laughing like you’re in some 18th century frat and not, oh, the American Revolution. You actually seem a bit spoiled, tbh. Joking about breaking the law and going to war to escape the gallows. LOL, good times. 

I am very close to being not that into you when I see a flash of honor on your part, questioning your Commander and whether they were defending liberty or tyranny in the backwoods of New England. Ah, so Ross Poldark is a philosopher, eh? 

We never did get to hear the Commander’s answer, because, well, war.

Suddenly, we think you might be dead except we know you’re not because why would they name a show after a dead guy? Okay, I guess they did that with Cukoo, but I’m watching the “real" BBC-in-collab-with-PBS, not BBC 3-in-collab-with-Netflix. I expect the best here. 

Cue mysterious flashback of a pretty, giggly woman on some bucolic coast somewhere, and then there’s that sweet, rustic violin music and some vast, pretty skies and a rugged English shoreline, nearly as rugged as your 5 o’clock shadow and okay, I’m in. Because I am always in when a show has good intro music.

Come to find out, two years later, you, Mr. Pol, Dark and Handsome are returning home to a dead father and gossiping neighbors and … at least you might still have that girl we saw in the flashback, right? Because, I mean...

Wait, sorry, forgot what I was saying. I became too distracted by your cape. I do love a man in a cape.

How pleasant that you arrive home and promptly crash a family dinner party! What a joyous homecoming. Perhaps you can all play a rousing game of Monopoly afterwards while wearing matching sweaters. Side note, I love the woman in the frilly cap. She has only said one or two lines but I will already tell you that she is what I aspire to be when I grow up. Also, doesn’t she look familiar? Anyways, fun fact, I once bought a colonial-style hat that looked exactly like the one she’s wearing in a gift shop situated in a former, 18th century French fort in Northern Michigan. It matched my Felicity doll. 

#nerd. 

I was not the popular girl in school. 

Anyways, this dinner that you crashed seems to have brought you back into the arms (almost!) your dear flashback!girlfriend, Elizabeth, who is all a-fluster at your reappearance into your life. (Which, side note, it would be adorable that she is all flushing and girlish to once again be blessed by your presence, but this is 2017 and I think women, even if it’s anachronistic, are... not supposed to be all girly like that? I mean, is it not a little... silly? Are we for once actually not going to be anachronistic in a television series and actually show how shitty and un-politically correct the world once was? I’m conflicted about how this is all playing out.) At any rate, something is clearly amiss here because it all seems too good to be true and we’re only 10 minutes into the show.

Oh, goody, and your cousin is there, too, welcoming you home heartily. What a lovely time!

Wait... what’s that? And he’s getting married! Yay, wedding. Maybe you’ll get to dance with flashback!girlfriend at the wedding, Pol.

Um, stop. Who is he getting married to? 

No.

Aw.

Awww.

Poldark. Sweetie. I mean, ugh. Tough break. You go off for several years overseas to fight some spoiled, uncivilized American brats and you return home just in time for flashback!girlfriend to marry your cousin.

Awkward.

I really love your cape, by the way.

I guess you aren’t staying in your cousin/soon to be flashback!girlfriend aka. Elizabeth’s mansion tonight, eh? Time to go home. 

Your dad wasn’t much of a housekeeper, was he?

Drunk servants. Rats. How pleasant. Wait, why do I obsess over this century so much? It could use a vat of antibacterial wipes and I would need an arsenal of antibiotics to go back there.

Anyways, Poldark, I know you’ve had a rough day, but do you really need to snap at the servants and be such a bastard? Prickly. 

So, let’s recap, my dear. Your house is a rotting piece of trash. Your flashback!girlfriend is gone, to your cousin/friend no less, daddy is six feet under, and… well, at least the scenery is pretty. I mean, you do have a million dollar view there.

So back to the local mansion: is it Trenwith or Chenwith? My uncultured American ears cannot tell the difference. (Side note: it’s Trenwith.)

I like that you have a group of guys in town to be all bromancey with. At least something is going right in your life.

I can see now that, despite your moody sensibilities, in the next few scenes we have definitely established that, while you may be fairly poor right now, you have your heart in the right place. Are you going to be some sort of Robin Hood type figure? Or perhaps an 18th century, more rugged version of Harry Potter, whose reckless bravery leads him to fight for noble causes? You do have the facial scar. 

Speaking of Harry Potter, now that we have fully established you as being in Gryffindor, let’s cut to a scene where clearly the VILLAIN of the series is being introduced.

“Ross Poldark is alive” we hear a man with curly hair and frilly clothes say. He is counting his money. He has a wingman with an evil voice. I’m 99% sure the curly-haired blonde with frilly clothes is Draco Malfoy’s great-great-great-great-great grandfather. The guy with the evil voice is Crabbe and Goyle’s ancestor. 

Speaking of villains, Elizabeth’s mother is a Disney villain, no? I’m getting some wicked stepmother vibes here. “Marry the dude you don’t like as much,” she advises her daughter. Yes, because that always goes well, lady.

Meanwhile, this episode clearly can’t show too much of you being nice, because we are frequently reminded of how your servants are useless but as much as they’re useless, you’re even more of a bastard to them. Also, did you just call them fat? Wow, Pol, my friend. A+ servant owner of the year award. What’s next, “Let them eat cake”?

This episode is getting a little tedious, but all of the sudden we are introduced to your cousin Verity. I love Verity already. She’s sweet. A breath of fresh air. She’s also been a character in literally every British television or movie I’ve ever seen, and I like her. She has a good attitude despite the mopey family she was clearly born into.

I’m getting the sense that you and flashback!girlfriend are made for each other, because your favorite hobby is brooding. Still, better broody than insecure, which your cousin Francis is. He must be insecure about not being as broody. Instead, he goes for pouty. It’s not quite as sexy.

Luckily, flashback!girlfriend’s mother seems to be influential, because Francis is hanging on to her.

#thatawkwardmoment when you are invited to your flashback!Girlfriend’s wedding with your former BFF.

Okay, so here’s the thing, Poldark. Right around here you make a fatal flaw. No pun intended. Were you literally about to let your cousin die in front of you? Um, I don’t know what to say to you other than, asshole. 

“Is Poldark a bastard? Moment #2: Almost lets cousin/BFF drown. 

10 points from Gryffindor.

Let’s check in on Malfoy, who is now currently vying for a spot as your best frenemy. Good luck shaking that guy off.

I take it back about you and Elizabeth being made for each other. Your broodiness would eventually destroy each other, as you try to out brood yourselves and ultimately would brood each other to death.

Oh, and by the way, at this point in the episode, I have decided you are indeed a bastard.

Pol, dark and broody.

Quick question, Are there going to be pirates in this series?

And then there’s a good ol’ fashioned family Tarot reading, which is appropriately Mysterious for the halfway point of this episode. Thank goodness for the crazy old aunt in her Colonial cap reading the Tarot to her mopey family. This kind is how I like my 18th century dramas.

To be continued...

Sincerely,

A.

{{still photo credits}}