#but this time it’s a gag

[teddy-bear-d]

A goopy boi

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"

just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible

[ftmtoyboy]

want someone who has trouble sleeping to use me as a sleeping aide. tire yourself out by fucking a load or two into me, then keep me as a cockwarmer to lazily thrust into as you drift off to sleep

[jjadmanii]

i genuinely love that the hunger games is in katniss’s pov bc shes the one character that has no clue about whats going on, clearly does not want to be there, and shes just walking through life in a permanent state of utter confusion. and idk i really relate to that.

[lesliemeyers]

babysitting

[ejsuperstar]

Imagine you live in pelican town. The new farmer has been here a couple weeks now and seems to be settling in, except... He's picking the weirdest friend choices. Like sure it's not weird to befriend the local fisherman, especially when he has an interest in fishing himself, but you're pretty sure you've seen him rooting through the Saloon's garbage with the local homeless man. As well, he keeps harassing the poor guy who works at Joja even though you KNOW he doesn't want to be friends with him.

And since you're on the topic of weirdness, isn't it odd he seemingly runs everywhere at a full sprint? Or just... Eats entire raw fish while fishing for "energy reasons"...

...

Despite all that, it's too early to call him off putting or anything... He has been engaging in town traditions, and he's started helping out with the old community centre. He's probably like the rest of you. Someone with a few quirks, that will fit in with the valley great!

Surely he can't get any weirder... Right?

[kamwashere]

whoever runs the verified batman account in instagram needs their ass ate cause these are hilarious

[mydairpercabeth]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 4: Deranged Bedfellows

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.5)

[k-wame]

JACOB ELORDI He Went That Way (2023) dir. Jeffrey Darling

[ryllen]

sebek really said, i will give u a lifetime beating ur parent never gave u because they love u too much but u are too dumb to realize that

[dolldefiler]

I love finding out when a wholesome, sweet woman is also entirely depraved. She'd never hurt a fly but she cums hardest to the thought of being littered with bruises. The type that cuddles me but also blows disgusting cum bubbles as my piss runs down her face. One moment she'll encourage and support me and the next she'll scream the most obscene words while I rape her tight, tiny asshole.

Fuck, and the cheerful little smile she flashes me? It's so hard not to imagine spraying her lips with hot jizz after I find out, marking her as a cum dumpster.

The duality of a woman, I suppose.

[soybean-official]

Remember what you're fighting for

[adventurade]

the essence of finn's being (math-related interjections) remains intact in any universe

[yrsonpurpose]

Weirdest thing you learnt in preparation for the show?

[morganbritton132]

Eddie posts a Tiktok of him, Steve, and Robin waiting for Nancy outside of a restaurant after a double date. Eddie pans the camera around but lands on Steve, spacing out as he eats a bag of skittles.

He reaches for the skittles but Steve moves the bag out of his reach without looking at him.

Eddie sighs loudly and looks directly at the camera: I literally spent four years watching this guy buy school lunch just to pass it out to his dipshit friends who had their own lunches.

Eddie: Then I spent the next thirty years watching him do the same for the kids, the band, his students, literal strangers, but when I -love of his life, light of his world- wants one skittle…

Steve: I gave you half my burger

Eddie, reaching for the skittles again: And it was delicious. I want a yellow skittle

Steve, holding the bag over his head and out of Eddie’s reach: A yellow one? That’s the worst one!

Eddie scoffs at both his statement and that Steve thinks his one inch height advantage will stop him. Eddie goes for the attack, Steve blocks, and the video gets shaky as they play a game of keep-away.

All you get a bunch of movement, some grunting, and a lot of laughter until Steve steps back off the curb and they both trip into the parking lot. It’s more or less a controlled fall, they go down but they go slowly with nothing worse than a tear in the knee of Eddie’s jeans.

They’re still laughing as the camera footage levels out. You can only see Robin digging through her purse and not Eddie’s hard won battle for yellow skittles.

Robin looks up sharply and asks, “Did you steal my skittles?”

Steve: Nah, I think Eddie took ‘em