#but who cares what eve’s doing

[twinkinspector]

work rant in the tags

[stargazeraldroth]

I will never be normal about the family of the First Humans in my Hazbin Hotel AU. I will never be normal about it. I really took this AU and said "Family angst to the MAX". Also this may or may not contain spoilers about Hazbin Hotel, so be warned about that when reading this.

Since we don't know much of anything about Eve in Hazbin Hotel's canon universe, the Eve included in this post is obviously how I imagine her character. Also, there are some major changes to the relationships between some of the characters. For starters, Vaggie and Lute are sisters, but they're also direct creations of Adam's.

Let me explain.

So in this AU, Adam and Eve became a thing shortly after Lilith ran away to be with Lucifer. And in this AU, they were only able to have Cain and Abel before Eve ate the Forbidden Fruit and ultimately died (I might elaborate on the whole Garden of Eden story in another post). But they'd talked about having daughters and Eve was especially excited to have little girls. Clearly, that never ended up happening. So how does this tie into the story? Because Adam made Vaggie and Lute with the idea of them being the daughters he and Eve were never able to have.

(To take this a step further, this AU started as a Reimagine series where I went over how I would've done it all, so there were also name changes. Vaggie and Lute were two characters who got their names changed; Vaggie's name became Evelyn [originally Evangeline but I thought that too long and didn't roll off the tongue as well] and Lute's became Edith, with Vaggie being named after Eve and Lute being named after the Garden of Eden. And if you want even MORE angst with that idea, Adam sometimes called Vaggie "Eve" as a nickname because of how much she reminded him of her. There's nothing romantic there, I just wanna clarify that in case anyone jumps to conclusions. The changed names aren't important to the post, I just wanted to mention this little background fun fact from before I decided to make it a regular AU)

I may not have diddly squat about Cain and Abel in this aside from the fact that they exist(ed), but BOY do I have a lot to say about these four. First, let me just start with the parallels between Eve and Vaggie in this AU:

Both someone Adam swore to himself that he'd protect at all costs

Both fell from grace and are in Hell

Both of them are on the opposing side (for Eve this'll rely on the post I eventually make about the GoE story, but the gist is that she was completely unwilling; Vaggie saw no other way)

Both of them fell in love with demons

Like... Vaggie reminds Adam of Eve so much that sometimes, it physically hurts. In this AU, Vaggie wasn't left to die in Hell, she got attacked and left behind. Adam thought she was dead, which was part of why he pushed to move up the date of the next Extermination and why Lute is so set on revenge, wants to kill ALL demons, etc. And Adam doesn't care about sexuality- he doesn't care if Vaggie's bi, pan, lesbian, ace, etc. In this AU, he only cares because Charlie's a demon (and the daughter of Lucifer, but that's another thing). The way Adam sees it, he's been losing everyone he loves to temptation and sin. He believes he lost Lilith to Lucifer's seduction (even if he was an angel at the time, he eventually became a demon), he lost Eve to both Lilith & Lucifer and the Apple, he lost Abel to Cain's jealousy and wrath, he lost Cain to his inner darkness, he originally thought he lost Vaggie to the demons, and then he thought he lost her to seduction (even though Charlie didn't do anything like that). And this- this is why Adam's both so close to Lute and why he smiles when he dies in this AU. He died believing that he failed everyone he cared about except Lute, even though- in the back of his mind- he told himself he still failed her. Because he wasn't going to be able to make it back to Heaven and stay with her.

Y'all. I don't know WHAT made me decide to focus so much on these four... but this is what I got. This is what happened. They're devouring my brain.

[miametropolis]

ten in the journey’s end makes me so goddamn mad…rose punched through MULTIPLE dimensions, tracked you through all of time and space, single-handedly saved Donna while you were doing fuck all in a market, gave EVERYTHING to find you again and ALL. SHE. WANTS. IS. FOR. YOU. TO. LOOK AT HER!! WHY WON’T YOU LOOK AT HER ITS ROSE!! ITS THE HEART OF YOUR HEARTS!! YOU COULD EACH DIE ANY SECOND NOW HOW MANY YEARS HAVE YOU SPENT WISHING YOU ACTED SOONER HOW MANY YEARS HAS SHE WAITED FOR YOU, BURNED HOLES IN THE UNIVERSE FOR YOU AND YOU’RE STILL! LOOKING! AWAY!

[gayemoji]

for how bad killing eve got the books are infinitely worse.

[sleepygh0stt]

hi, im tate. im dead.

wanna hook up?

[cleargreyskies]

Nothing like the end of a year to really drive home your feelings of loneliness.

(some venting in the tags, it's that time of the year again. also to the two people from offline life potentially reading this: this is obviously not about you and I care about you deeply)

[lemonlurkrr]

…is the wardio even a joke anymore I can’t tell.

I think I’m at the point where I don’t want it to be a joke anymore.

[marshmellowtea]

lila/tanya is. first of all a severely underrated ship but second of all perpetually funny to me because i always picture it in one of two ways, those ways being "seriously angsty enemies to lovers that may or may not also involve william in some way" or "lila has an existential gay crisis because she's never had a crush on anyone before and it's on the ONE girl she's decided to have a (probably one-sided tbh) rivalry with and that's terrible. for her at least. everyone else thinks it's kinda funny"

[somerandomgal19]

Amelia’s finally experiencing first-hand the depths of Sebastian’s money power and manipulation. I am both enraged yet also unsurprised.

But I’m surprised Sebastian left THAT much evidence behind. A cane head that would have his fingerprints all over it? A hose from HIS company? A SCRAP FROM HIS FUCKING JACKET?

Though I guess when you can buy your problems away, who cares about being careful.

[timoswerner]

why is organising a holiday with friends so hard

[myheartxmyman]

[amtrak12]

*runs back to Tumblr dash and slips it over my mouth like an oxygen mask*

*gasping*

You don't even know what they're doing out there, you guys. Those fans… okay, those fans, eeeeee :S ….. They want to punish Eve for kind-of-definitely instigating a demon mutiny after her boyfriend broke up with her -- WHEN WE ALL KNOW SHE'S VALID FOR THAT! Even if it wasn't her very first break up in the history of humanity, she's a woman with really pretty brown eyes! That's an automatic get-out-of-jail free card in TV land, we all know that. Don't we all know that!??

(Breathe, breathe)

*slips mask back on*

*rips it back off*

Oh, but then -- BUT THEN YOU SEE! -- these same people also want to woobify Michael and make him a misunderstood twin instead of the shittiest angel to ever shit. HE FUCKING KILLED CHLOE!!! Stabbed her right in the gut with a super blunt object so it probably hurt like a bitch on top of the dying! So how is him being played by the same actor as Lucifer make him redeemable? Huh? HUH?? RIDDLE ME THIS BATMAN!! Why is it oh so fucking sad that MICHAEL, the evil scum, was treated appropriately as scum in the show, but MY FUCKING BEAUTIFUL EVE WHO NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG IN HER LIFE is the true criminal who should have obviously been punished after S4 if the writers knew anything?

THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD?! 😱😫😭

[skeletonmaster69]

someone ask me about my nier losing everything you love essay

[leahcee]

.

don’t mind me I’m just reminiscing? thinking about the past?

[shadow4-1]

I'm just imagining the 141 looking for a medic because all of the ones they sign on keep dying or getting poached by other task forces. And you're a baby medic who is shadowing your higher rank and well esteemed teacher (who is actually the one on the 141's radar). But something goes horribly wrong...

You've done everything you possibly can but he's still drowning in his own blood.

He's tried walking you through everything through wheezing, wet breaths. He has a knowing look in his eye, this isn't working and it won't work. You're in the EVAC helicopter, but the time it'll take to get you back to base is too long.

"I-I'm sorry." You whimper, tears forming on your lashes. "I'm not a very good student."

Your mentor smiles sadly, his eyes glassy. He was always sweet to you when he was no nonsense with everyone else.

"You're doing great, kid." He huffs, blood leaking out the corner of his mouth. He winces and sputters up more but you're there. You try to fill up his vision and give him something to focus on. "People crash. Don't give up on 'em till it's over."

You cradle his head, memorize every wrinkle, scar, and patch on his kit. And then, it hits you.

He's right, its not over yet.

You rip through your medical supplies with shaking hands. It feels like it takes forever but it's merely seconds before you're sticking a needle from your vein into his. You watch the bag as it quickly fills with your blood before entering into him.

Your mentor chuckles and shakes his head weakly. This is nowhere near anything he taught you. But he knows it might just save his life since you're both the same blood type.

You go through multiple more needles releasing pressure on his lungs until he's even more stable than before. He finally has a shot and that's all that matters.

You're so close. Fifteen minutes out when he starts to crash again. You've exhausted everything. Your medical supplies are dwindling. You have no more blood to give. Your teacher just continues to smile at you. And he keeps smiling at you and he keeps smiling at you. You rub at his face, his eyes are far away. You feel for his pulse.

You scream.

It's not one of fear, but a deep, mournful cry. You turned your comms off forever ago but you know everyone could hear you, even through the wind. It carries your scream off and away as the heli's motors clip around you. You feel empty. He was supposed to teach you more. He was supposed to live.

You scream again and throw yourself over him. You sob and scream and grab at him, trying desperately to look for vitals. You know you won't find one but you're delirious. He's supposed to live! You did everything right!

Tears blur your vision but you notice someone out of the corner of your eye. It's one of the members of a different task force assigned to help your squad with this now terribly failed mission. He's their Captain, you think. He tries to reach down but you hiss at him. You don't care about rank. You don't care about the social ramifications. You scream to be heard over the wind.

"DON'T TOUCH HIM!"

The man's eyes soften. You don't imagine what you look like. You probably look wild, feral, gnashing your teeth and growling. You don't care. He's YOUR teacher, he's YOUR responsibility. Quite frankly, you don't trust any of the other strangers watching you. You hiss at them too. Then you cry again.

You bury your face into your now dead mentor's chest and sob.

- - - - -

The look in your eye is like nothing he's ever seen before in a medic.

Price had watched you exhaust every possible avenue to save your superior's life. When all else failed you gave him your own blood. And when he finally succumbed to his injuries you threw yourself over him, not allowing anyone or anything to get close.

Even when they arrived on base, when your other superiors tired to swoop in, you stood your ground.

"I don't care! Even in death he's MY patient!" You yelled at your own Captain.

And surpisingly, they let you take care of him to the end. They even let you escort his body to the morgue. It's where Price finds you hours later.

You sit in a rusty old folding chair just outside the morgue doors. Your eyes are glazed over, far away, and still brimming with tears. He kneels in front of you to get on your level. He doesn't say anything, just waits for you to finally see him. You blink slowly and look up at him.

"I-I'm sorry..." You apologize. "I d-didn't mean t-"

"It's alright, Love." He hums and offers you a tight smile. "I understand."

He pats your knee in a fatherly way before standing up. His knees pop and he winces. You immediately stand up, your eyes searching him up and down.

"S' alright, I promise. Just a lil' stiff s' all." He soothes. "I need you to come with me."

He notices how your pretty lil' eyes widen. He shakes his head and offers a hand to help you out of the chair.

"You're not n' any trouble, sweetheart. I just want to talk with you."

He looks down at you with a knowing, sweet smile.

Your commitment is exactly what he's looking for.

[allseeingdirt]

everytime i think about kath for too long especially when considering the wider picture im like. ngeremes plastik