#but y? thats so cruel. everything about their situation is cruel and painful. is there any divinity to be found? is god here captain?

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Someone should rewarch The Terror and pull out every quote making reference to God.

[saintobio]

I somewhat understand y/n’s decision to leave with everything that happened but lying about a abortion and hiding his kid is messed up on SO MANY LEVELS😩 there are gonna be some serious consequences to her actions and she’ll feel so bad because we all know he loved that baby😔 and she deprived him of that feeling of seeing him grow up a bit. I get her feelings tho not saying that they weren’t valid, but like what were you going to explain to your son in the future? I mean you have Toji and that’s great and all I guess but I think eventually their son would’ve figured out that he wasn’t his actual dad…what was her plan? What were you gonna tell him then? And not trying to make gojo seem like he’s innocent but damn….Did she not think that far….. I feel like y/n was dead wrong for that 😕



Anonymous said

she drove satoru to the point of being suicidal for years i think she made him suffer enough especially when she saw how much he already changed for her during the first few months of her pregnancy. idk i know ppl say shes right to do it because she was traumatized well id argue gojo is just as traumatized if not more. it seems like hes paying for things he didnt even do bc why is he suffering more than eula? 😭 idk that was a shit move for yn no matter what the reason is thats his child and he could've been his savior but instead he was miserable and driven to kill himself over and over for 3 whole years while she was healing and about to get married.

Anonymous said

*TW: Mention of Suicide*

You don’t have to answer if this is a spoiler for pt 2, but was it really Y/N’s idea to fake an abortion or was it Gen and her dad’s idea? Cause going through all of that to keep Gojo away from her is ridiculously fucked up. Like I absolutely agree with her getting away from him and all, but hiding his child from him for 3 years??? Especially knowing how excited he was to be a father? I just… y/n should’ve known better than that, even if she doesn’t know about his attempt. Even as shitty as Gojo was to y/n, nobody deserves to be fooled into thinking their child is gone… I’m sooo conflicted☹️. Anywho I hope Gojo will be okay and no offense to y/n cause I love her but Toji deserves much better than someone who’s still hung up on her ex (as does she tbh). I can’t wait to see how this all pans out!!

Anonymous said

I support YN in her decisions

For the divorce, her leaving Japan, she had every right to do it

But I find depriving Gojo from his child is wrong. After their encounter YN can probably guess that Gojo’s mental state is sh1t so she knows that if he sees his son and find out about him his mentality will be even more fcked up which can also make him unalive himself which is basically what happened.

I find YN cruel in this chapter but I also understand that she has every reason to do it

Anonymous said

I love y/n, I’ve defended her a thousand million times and I think I always will, but for the first time in my life I’m gonna have to say that she’s in the wrong. Not only did she take satoru’s fatherhood away from him, but she did it in such a cruel way oh my god. The late term ‘abortion?’ Wow, I know she was in a desperate situation, I do, but I hope she felt shame hearing that mans cries outside of the hospital room she was in. That goes for her father, gen, leiri, literally anyone who kept up with this lie that Satoru’s child was dead.

And then to marry another man, which in itself isn’t a problem (honestly good for her) but then what? Would Toji raise the child as his own? Maybe the child wouldn’t call him papa, but wouldn’t he be the child’s main paternal figure??

Does anyone, if not y/n realize how cruel this is to satoru?

Say what you want about Gojo, but the mans had more than enough karma come his way. More than enough!! This all layered on top of his car accident and possible amnesia? Will he have to relive all of his pain?

Oh my god, I actually really hope y/n isn’t forgiven so easily for this. Because although I support her personal growth and happiness, Satoru truly never deserved to have his son taken from him like that, she heard him and still went through with it. Wow

Anonymous said

No because I understand why Yn might have wanted to keep the secret of having the baby, but making Gojo think she aborted it is actually insane. Like y’all literally cannot defend her actions. So what if you didn’t want to see him anymore? You literally absolutely trashed his mental health just like he did yours, and for what? To be an “independent woman?” Not worth it. She took away the opportunity to let a father care and love for his son, which I 100% think might have saved him from trying to KILL HIMSELF MULTIPLE TIMES. It’s so sad. They both fucked up (and I am in no way defending Gojo’s actions so don’t start y’all) but she took it to another level. AND THEN MARRYING TOJI?? Damn that really adds salt to the womb💀💀 Anyways I really do hope Gojo finds happiness because I believe he’s had enough karma. He deserves someone new who will care for him through everything, and I hope he looses his memory and forgets all about the drama. As for yn I hope she realizes her mistakes, but I will always hope she gets a happy ending too because it’s what she deserves after everything she’s went through. These people do not need to be together considering EVERYTHING, but whatever you do I’ll support. Keep up the good work ive been looking forward to Friday’s and Saturday’s each week

Anonymous said

Is so unfair to gojou was been lied to by y/n she did SOOO wrong in not telling him about his child. As much as gojou was an ass he deserved to know. 🥺

Anonymous said

omg saint…I feel horrible but a part of me is mad at y/n, u probably kno who this is cuz I commented it but it’s whatever, but anyways,, IDKK I just have been feeling so bad for gojou the past few chapters, makes me so sad :(( plus I’m a gojo fucker I can’t imagine that man sad - 🦚

Anonymous said

NAUR ?! now i don’t mean to be mean but HELLO ?! Y/N GIRL WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ?????? I CANT BELIEVE SHE KEPT GOJOU’S OWN CHILD A SECRET FROM HIM !?? also when she called him gojou instead of satoru :(((( but omg i can already tell how good sn2 is gonna be BUT THIS CHAPTER WAS SO SAD :((( y/n’s dad and gen hearing abt satoru’s accident like “RIP BOZO💯” LMAOOOO also if gojou gets amnesia i will literally d*e… like it’s so bittersweet to think that he’ll be like a brand new person regardless of if it’s for the better or worse bc his suffering has really made him his own unique character and it’s the basis of his relationships with so many people :( but it also allows for so many more opportunities ITS SO BITTERSWEET I TELL YOU!!! AAAAAAAA

anyways,,, onto more serious things… saint thank you so much for writing sn!!! it’s seriously one of my favorite fics of all time and it brings me so much comfort i reread it all the time!! i hope sn2 come out soon but please continue to take care of yourself and rest!! i appreciate the chapters, characters, the storyline, everything you wrote!!! you really went the extra mile and i hope sn2 comes out with a bang!! :> thank you again saint! :’)

yn’s side previously answered here !! once again, i’ll remain neutral regarding this discourse so i can also prevent any spoilers and also people are 50/50. but my two cents about satoru on this:

writing abt his downfall made me feel sorry for him especially as it’s affected his overall mental health . although she wasn’t aware abt him being suicidal after she left, it was horrible on gojo’s part to be deprived of his own child esp by means of faking an abortion (which again, like i said, will come haunt her next season). he definitely deserves better than that, but then again they also both hurt each other.

at the beginning of their marriage, he insulted her to her face, disrespected her, treated her horribly, blatantly cheated on her, shamelessly neglected her. now by the end of their marriage, she abandoned and pretty much ghosted him, lied about the abortion so he has no reasons to hold onto her, kept the baby away for some time thinking it’s for the best, disallowed any communication between them. they obviously are very different situations and have very different impacts, but that just shows that yn (like gojo) also has the capability to destroy him even twice as much as he destroyed her. was it acceptable? definitely not. and she’s not proud. neither is gojo proud abt his behavior in the first few months of their marriage. they make mistakes, they hurt each other, one may be cruel than the other, or maybe not—either way, this is satoru’s realization that he is not always the person to blame. that he isn’t an antagonist to his story bc yn can also be as selfish and flawed like him. that she, too, can make inexcusable decisions like he did.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Wilfords Demands: Separated

Summary- 5.6k Curtis x You. Curtis lost the tournament and has been cast back to his original home, the tail end. You are now contained in Wilfords precious engine to see the crazy ramblings of Snowpiercers Leader. You also must find out Curtis’s fate and you believe you can find him, if you can just get beyond that door Wilford likes to disappear into. Dividers made by @firefly-graphics​

Warnings- Stressful situations, spitting, hitting, demeaning talk, threats, language. You also find out what happened with Curtis’s other children, its dark and upsetting. Proceed reading with caution. Thats as descriptive as Im going to get in that warning. 

Chapter 6 / Wilfords Demands Masterlist 

As you were dragged away, you could hear the cheers echoing off the steel walls. You could feel the overwhelming sensation of panic settling in your chest. It was all consuming as you started struggling against the man dragging you behind Claude, trying to pummel your fists against his padded chest and scratch at him. 

“Let me go! CURTIS!” you screamed, resorting to trying to bite at his hand wrapped around your upper arm. Claude scoffed seeing you give the guard a hard time and snapped over quickly, open palmed, she slapped your face to stun you. 

You panic turned to white hot rage at the woman, turning on her but the man tightened his grip, stopping all your movements. 

“For once in your miserable fucking life, will you stop it?! Jesus Christ you are not worth the effort Wilford puts in you. You don't even make a good whore.” She spit in your face before turning back to open the door to Wilford’s chambers once more, jerking her head to direct the guard to bring you in. “He will be back soon, make sure she doesn’t do something stupid can you? Just don't hurt her, Wilford will have both our heads if anything happens to the precious prize.” 

She sneered out the last words at you, You spat at her with a smug smile when it landed on her face. She screamed in disgust and wiped at her face with her sleeve. “Tail Ender Pig, you are all so disgusting.” continuing to mutter as she left the room, the guard released you, standing at the door and his eyes followed you as you were sure to put distance between the two of you. 

Wilford’s area was the same as before. More luxurious than the others, you went towards the engine, the furthest you could get from the guard when he barked out. “That's far enough.” 

Flipping him the bird, you moved to sit in a nearby chair, rubbing at your belly protectively. 

Right now the anger was the only thing controlling your fear. You had no idea what was going to happen to Jace, was Curtis even still alive. You couldn’t think like that, because you would lose it if Curtis was dead. 

He promised you that he would find a way, swore to you. 

But promises made were not always kept. You swiped at your face furiously to hide the tears, thinking about Curtis would have to come later, when it actually could sink in. For now Curtis was still alive, he would come for Jace, that was all that mattered. 

Time seemed to stretch, tension building when you heard the door shift open. The guard stepped aside and Wilford walked in, followed by Grey who was bloody, limping and spotting several cuts and bruises. 

I hope you feel every single one Curtis gave you, you hissed in your mind looking at him before turning away. 

“Well look at you sweetheart, told you we would be getting to know each other better.” His hand came to stroke your cheek and you jerked away, making him laugh. “Soon enough you will learn not to pull away.” Grey said while Wilford handed him some towels to clean himself up. 

“As promised, she is your prize. You just have to wait till after the birth.” 

You shifted in your seat, your hand still protective over your stomach to face Wilford, ignoring Grey for now. “Where is Curtis?” 

“Well she isn't going to be much longer till she spits out that spawn for you. I don't mind waiting.” Grey spoke over you, ignoring your question. 

“Weeks Grey, not long at all.” Wilford flipped to a calendar, and to your disgust you saw where he had appointments set up with the doctor. Your name, some others, you shuddered at it. 

“Is Curtis still alive?” You started again, but both men ignored you once again when you finally gave a scream, willing them to at least acknowledge you. 

Wilford blinked at you calmly while Grey scowled at you. “Curtis really didn't teach you any manners did he? Know what we are doing first.” 

You hitched your chin, refusing to back away from him in fear. 

“Curtis is no longer your concern Y/N.” Wilford started. “You won't be seeing him again.” 

Your eyes welled up at these words and your face pinched trying to process these. You can't break down right now. Jace needs you to keep it together. 

“Fine, but this child is my concern. I need to know what his future is going to be.” 

Wilford broke in a grin at this one, rubbing his hands together. “Of course, you spent all this effort supplying me with Curtis’s child. I have high hopes for this one.” 

Fuck you were going to be sick, listening to him. “I want to raise him, he is mine as you said.” 

Grey cocked a brow, his arms folding over his chest with a laugh, Wilford joining him. “Ah- no. This child is mine. I already have a name. Trust me, that whole Jace Tyler was cute and all, I heard all about why you wanted that name but no. Joseph Wilford the second will become my successor. Hopefully. Curtis was always my favorite.” 

You spared a look at Grey who’s features clouded slightly but then went back to victorious. “Well Curtis is washed out, past his prime now.” He pointed out and Wilford shrugged a bit. 

“Happens to all of us. Why I needed Y/N to get pregnant rather quickly, before the tournament. I'm still taking a risk, but such a pretty thing who's a survivor from the tail end. I like Joseph’s chances. So for now Dear, your stuff is being removed from Curtis’s quarters, being moved into Grey’s. For now though you will be staying with me. Grey, how about you go get cleaned up, celebrate your victory.” 

Grey gave one final swipe of his towel, smirking. “I think I will just do that.” Cold eyes swept over you, possessive now. “I will see you real soon.” Sure to run his fingers over you again and grasp your chin tightly when you tried to pull away, his touch hurt, bit into you as he dug fingernails into your skin to mark you. “Keep up that act, I like breaking women in.” 

Letting you go with a cruel laugh, he left the engine. Wilford seemed oblivious to your distress. “Come Dear, let me show you your cot. You need to rest. Most certainly, can't have you stressing the baby.” He tugged you to a stand, leading you to a corner near the engine humming and pushed you to sit. “See this is pretty good.” 

You couldn't help it anymore, everything you had hoped for had shattered in moments. You curled as much as you could away from Wilford rubbing your back and sobbed into your arm, mourning Jace’s father. 

Curtis first noticed the pain. It riddled him hotly with every sway of the train's movements. His fingers curled against rough fabric underneath him. When he tried to move pain seared through him everywhere making him grit his teeth and sink back into the hardness beneath him. “Don’t try to move mister, Mama said you needed to stay still.” came a young boy's voice near his ear and Curtis strained his neck to look next to him, nothing but shadows and more darkness filling his vision but then movement caught his attention. 

A boy, young by the looks of him but it was hard to tell without proper lighting. Big eyes stared at him though as the boy crawled closer to him. “Where am I kid?” Curtis grunted out as the boy lifted a gelatin block to his mouth and took a bite. 

“This the back of the train Mister.” He shoved the block at Curtis, setting it on his chest. “I will go get my Mama. You can have some if you're hungry.” The boy smiled and crawled away, dropping away from sight and scurrying off. Curtis curiously picked up the block and sniffed at it, wrinkling his nose at the smell and set it off to the side. With a groan he tried to sit up again, but gasped again in pain. “Fuck!” 

“Fuck is right.” A woman came into view, carrying a lantern with her to light up her way and sat at the edge of the bed. The little boy crawled in on the other side and grabbed at the gelatin block to bite into again, squeezing it a bit in his small hands, humming happily at his food. 

“Mama, I thought you said that's a bad word.” 

“It is Timmy, but he's allowed to say it. Go on now, shoo. Let me talk to this man.” she waved her hands at him and yet again the little boy, giggling this time climbed upwards into what looked like more bedding above Curtis. 

She watched him with a soft smile till the boy was gone, then turned her attention back to Curtis. “That's my baby Timmy and my name is Tonya.” 

Curtis frowned a bit at the name, then it clicked. “I remember you…” he grunted and Tonya smiled with a nod. 

“I remember you to, but back then you were still a youngin’. Barely 17, still young and hot headed. If you are back here, I’m assuming you're still hot headed?” Tonya chuckled as Curtis tried once more to sit up, and she pushed against his chest to press him back down. “Whoever did this to you did a number on you. Mostly your ribs and possibly your shoulder. You are gonna have to just stay put for a while.” 

Curtis worked his shoulders and she was correct, the pain in his collarbone and down his back was enough to make him see sparks. “Yup, I have to agree. And not hot headed… There was a tournament and… Fuck.” This time he surged up to a sit with a yell, holding onto steel grating above him, gasping. “I have to get out of here right away. They took her and I promised to keep her safe, keep our son safe.” 

Tonya shook her head confused. “Who? What are you talking about? You should lay back down.” 

Curtis stubbornly swung his feet over the edge of the bunk and moved to sit on the edge, looking around. More and more of it was familiar. In the years he had been up front, none of it had changed. Except there was less crowding then before. 

“Y/N, she's up at the front and in serious trouble. Fuck.” He swore again and pushed to a stand, bracing his hand against the framework and tried to make sense of where the door was. Tonya was right next to him, following along. 

“Wait, Y/N? She's up there still alive?” 

“Yes.” Curtis weaved among other people and Tonya tried making him stop. “She was in my care, Wilford… “ He came to a stop at a steel door, looking it over to see any way to open it. “Wanted her to get pregnant with my child. Once he has what he wants, he is just gonna throw her to monsters.” he hissed while pressing his hands against the door. 

“You are not getting that door open Curtis.” Tonya wedged her way next to him and made him turn around, being as week as he was at the moment. “You are telling me shes pregnant? Our Y/N is pregnant?” Her eyes glowered at him and he squared his shoulders slightly. 

“Yes, due anytime now. I told you, she was brought to me for a reason. It wasnt what either of us wanted but…” He turned back to the door and up towards the ceiling, looking for cameras or anything to get someone's attention. “... It turned into something more. And I need to get to her now.” His gaze turned intense looking at Tonya. Her hands were at her hips accusing but then her gaze softened a bit and she sighed. 

“There is no way out Curtis, don't you think we have tried? Its a box, a prison. This is hell on earth and you are now stuck in it with us.” 

Curtis could feel his breath quickening and his heart racing. 

He had to get out of here, he had to get to you. 

Time seemed to turn meaningless while you stayed with Wilford. He had the doctor monitor you daily, check constantly for the moments you went into labor. But you shut down, not talking or acknowledging the others around you unless you were forced into it. Wilford though didn't seem to notice. He talked all the time. Rambled joyfully about everything to do with the engine. Tinkering away at little things in it, tightening screws and bolts. Running inspections. “Dear this whole train keeps us alive. And it needs so much care and love.” He would sing softly as his hands stroked along the metal wall. “Just a gentle touch for our sweetheart here.” 

You would curl up your legs onto your cot, or try to, it was hard with your belly. He was fucking crazy the way he spoke to the engine. The constant hum of the engine and the spinning didn't help either, it made your head pound till you felt like you were also going to go a bit mad in the room with him. 

The nights though were the worst. The engine would seem louder without Wilford’s constant chatter. You would stretch on your cot across the room from Wilford, who slept in a large plush bed. It was hard, almost impossible to get comfortable and relax. It wasn't because the cot actually bothered you, you spent years either in a hard bunk or leaning against a wall in the tail end. 

Instead you were used to sleeping with Curtis. His body would be pressed in against yours, his arm wrapped around you to hold you close and your head would be cushioned on his chest or shoulder, or a hand draped over his stomach. He was warm and safe. That is what you missed. Your hands would rub your belly, sniffling to yourself. You refused to let yourself cry in front of Wilford. But in the night when your only company was the hum of the engine, you let yourself talk to Jace about Curtis. 

How much you missed his father, letting yourself mourn for him because it was the times you thought maybe he actually didn't make it. Those thoughts you cursed yourself, because he couldn’t be gone. He hadn't even gotten to meet his son. The nights were the hardest, the only time you didn't have to pretend to not exist and it would become overwhelming. When it became too much you would sing softly to your belly. 

Don't take my sunshine away. 

The only thing unusual about the engine was the door. Just a door near the spinning blue lights that made the engine come to life that you studied. It was better than going into a trance watching the blue orbs circle slowly. Wilford would once in a while disappear into the room and wouldn't come back out. Just a few times you leaned just right in your cot when he disappeared into the room, catching sight of computer monitors. That had to be how Wilford was watching all of you. 

That made you shiver, the idea Wilford watched you and Curtis doing everyday things. You didn't even want to think of what else he spied on. But more importantly if you could get in there, maybe you could find Curtis. Or see if he was still alive. 

One morning Wilford was cooking what you guessed was supposed to be breakfast. The smell of onions, potatoes and eggs was making your stomach roll viciously. Curtis had always made sure no eggs made it into the room. Wilford wasn't quite as considerate. You were just coming out of the bathroom, having rinsed your mouth out when the smell hit you all over again. Luckily nothing was left to come up. 

“Sweetheart, just think when I have Jr, I will have him ready to take over the engine.” Wilford said cheerfully, sliding eggs onto a plate with a sickening splatter. Your stomach did another roll, and you did your best not to gag. It didn't click with his Jr. spiel, since you never thought of your son as anything other than Jace Tyler. Wilford slid a plate on a small table near your cot for you. “Go ahead eat, I want Jr big and strong like his sire. Make his Poppa proud.” He turned away and you ignored the eggs, recalling his earlier statement. 

“Take over the engine?” 

Wilford made a show of cracking another egg into a bowl, holding up the shell. “Did you know these would be extinct if it wasn't for me? Something so simple… “ He studied it before tossing it into a nearby garbage bucket. “No more chickens. Or oranges like you have in that glass next to you. Fresh squeezed by the way. No more bread.” He picked up two slices of thick sliced bread. “Nor butter, because cows would be extinct.” He dropped them into a pan to crisp and sizzle. “Everything Y/N would be extinct, if it wasn't for our Snowpiercer.” he flipped his eggs and slid them onto his plate. 

You remained quiet, refusing the eggs, the toast and the juice he had set on the table, watching him. 

“But I won't last forever. I can fix this train, but there is no way to replace my body parts. So next best thing. Make the perfect replacement.” He went to his table and sat down. “Why I searched you out for Curtis. Women in the front, been ruined in less then twenty years we have been on this train.” He said disgusted as he started to eat, shoveling a forkful of eggs into his mouth and chewing. The yellow burst of yolk on his lip certainly made you gag this time, covering your mouth while trying to turn away. 

“No, I needed someone smart enough to survive but also untouched.” His grin turned cool as his eyes raked over you. “You survived the tail end, were strong enough to survive the lockbox as well as stunning, how you came out of there a virgin I don't know. But it worked out for me. Perfect for Curtis. All his other children before, just weren't perfect enough.” Another forkful of runny eggs and toast. You were struggling trying to wrap your mind around what Wilford was saying. 

“W-what happened to the others?” You asked shakily, scared of the answer. 

“Ahh, they didn't work out. We tried, sometimes the babies wouldn't shut up, other times they got to a certain age and would struggle with the motor skills. There were a few who got sickly.” Wilford shrugged as he sopped at his plate with his bread and popped that into his mouth. You though, your arms circled around yourself protectively as the horror of what he was saying made your heart race. 

“You just- got rid of them?” 

“Of course, I can't keep them if they can’t be useful. That's when it clicked. Curtis, he was fine. He's everything I wanted, big, strong, smart. Until you came along, he thought logically. It's a flaw, his falling for you, made him weak. But nothing I can't overlook I suppose. So many other perfect qualities in a leader. It was the woman.” He carried his plate to the sink and approached you. You shrunk back on your cot and he cupped your face in delicate warm hands, hands that never did hard work. “I needed a strong woman to match. All the front end bitches I paired with him threw off weaklings. You Sweetheart are going to give me the perfect prodigy. I considered switching Curtis for Grey for a while, but ahh he is too volatile to throw me a good son. No, it had to be Curtis and You.” He brushed your cheek gently and then grasped your hair to yank you forward towards the plate of food. “Now eat this gift I give you, because I need that baby to come out healthy.” 

Claude entered the room, clipboard in hand with a smile. “Sir if you're all set, we are ready for the inspection in the greenhouse.” 

“Oh yes Claude, be right there.” He beamed as he pointed at your tray of food with a snap of his fingers. “I want this gone.” Turning he made his way to Claude, the two of them chatting as they left the room, leaving you all alone. 

Your heart raced and breathing came out in a rush. With a swipe of your hand, you pushed the plate and glass off the table to shatter against the floor in a mess, screaming in a shrill burst. Overwhelmed with what he informed you, you couldn't hold it all back anymore, your scream just got shriller and tense to bounce all around you from the steel walls. Your voice ended up giving out with a croak and you dropped your heads into your hands sobbing at the fate of your son. 

You can't let this happen, just can't. This isn't what you or Curtis wanted for Jace. Your head lifted and eyes were wildly looking around the room, trying to figure something out. Attacking Wilford would do nothing. You could possibly hold him at knife point, but it would only be a matter of time before you were captured again, and it would just be worse for you and Jace if you had managed to kill Wilford. No, it needed to be more permanent. Something that would overthrow the whole train. 

Your eyes fell to the door, the door with all the monitors and control panels. You needed to be in that room and that's when a plan started to form. 

Although Curtis couldn’t find a way out of the tail end didn’t mean he wasn’t busy. Curtis started to get to know more about the tailenders, those who were ready to fight for there freedom, those with special skills that could be used in a revolt, listen to the stories of the horrors they have had to do to survive. It became more then simply getting back to you, now it was about getting these people out of here as well. 

Curtis started timing the guards coming through, trying to figure out how to work the inspections and feeding times to his advantage. After all this time, they should be fairly slack, rituals loose purpose after a while. 

But he didnt see his opening. No matter how many times he timed the lengths the doors were open, how long they stayed, how hard the cart full of the blocks were to manuever. It was all so precise, the same everytime and there eyes were watchful, always willing to bash a tailender should they step out of line. 

There was just four counts when all the doors were open and Curtis could see down the length of the train. It just wasnt enough time to get through several train cars. Tonya was perched next to him, listening to him count under his breath. 

“Curtis, don’t. We’ve tried that. It just ends with them culling us.” She hurriedly whispered back to him. Once they left he turned to her. 

“Then what Tonya? Y/N might have had Jace and tossed to Grey. Who even knows what will happen to my son.” Some frustrated tears caught in his lashes and some managed to escape, making a track down his now sooty dirty face. He dropped his head into his hands and Tonya rubbed at his back, trying to be supportive even though she delivered the harsh reality. 

“I know Curtis…I’m sorry, I just don’t want you going on a suicide mission. Y/N needs you, so does that little boy you got coming.” 

Curtis took a ragged sigh and stared back up at the camera beeping above the door, flipping it off before pushing to a stand and disappearing out of sight to continue trying to figure out a way to get back to you. 

You waited, you could be patient. You learned a while ago when you first joined Curtis to watch, it was also the harsh lesson he taught you in the beginning. It was how you got to know him as the man you cared for today. You were quick to learn that Wilford wasn't predictable. He would go into the room at random times. Sometimes for hours, sometimes for a few minutes. 

No matter how much you looked around the engine from your perch on your cot, you couldn't see where there were any cameras in the engine room. But you were still wary. Thinking maybe he was trying to catch you doing something, spring out of that room with a gotcha. 

But you were smarter. No, you were patient. Storing it all away. 

The worst was when Grey would come around. He seemed to turn into Wilford’s pet, always coming in to chat with him or ask favors. Oftentimes he would sit across the table, staring intently at you with a sneer. His eyes roaming you up and down like he had a right to take you whenever. These times you would hitch your chin up and stare back at him. Refusing to give him the satisfaction that he won. 

Maybe he did win your body. But you refused outright to give him any satisfaction in that. It didn't matter though, for Grey you were just a prize. You didn't matter to him except what you could give him. 

“She must be due soon, right?” Grey drawled out, moving to a stand and approaching you. In your bid to defy him, you didn't move an inch to draw away from him. His hand fisted in your hair, twisting viciously to have you look up at him. “Excited right? I'm sure it gets a bit boring just sitting here on your cot, waiting for time to pass with that little bastard inside of you.” 

You work your mouth to draw out some spit, hocking it at him as best you can at the unnatural angle. It earned you a loud smack, whipping your head to the side. Not a word dropped from you in pain as you glared up at him. Grey leaned in closer, his hand wiping at his face and wiping his hand clean in your hair he still had fisted in his other hand. 

“Nasty little thing arn’t you? Treat Curtis like this? Or did you just drool all over his cock every chance you get?” His fingers bit into your cheeks as he pressed harshly against the hinge of your jaw, wrenching your mouth open. “Don't worry, soon this will be all you know.” He spat in your open mouth, making you heave and try to pull away from him as he lewdly groped his crotch, laughing at your distress. 

“Grey, leave her alone… you will have her soon enough.” Wilford finally interjected, beckoning Grey forward towards the room. “I got something to show you anyways, step in here.” 

Grey snickered at you before sauntering over, passing through the door and Wilford followed him in, closing themselves in. You grabbed at some of the bedding, bringing a corner of a blanket to your mouth to try to tear at the fabric. You just needed a little bit. 

Your teeth ripped into the cloth and stitches, wrenching at the fabric till you could feel it weakening. 

Another pull, another twist and you could feel the fabric starting to give. Your eyes darted back to the door. “Come on…” You whined out and then there was a distinctive rrrriiippp… 

Balling the small bit of fabric in your fist, you got up to approach the door. Careful you pressed your ear to it, trying to listen over the engines humming, but it was pointless. The whoosh whoosh whoosh of the spinning mechanisms made you sigh in exasperation. You didn't want to ruin your chance by not being prepared.

Pressing against the wall, you tried to think about what you knew. The door was pressured close to guarantee a seal. Your eyes roving up to the mechanism that worked the door. It also made it close slow. You could wait a good five seconds after they left the room to do what you wanted. You could pretend you were passing by to go to the bathroom, seeing the door was just beyond your main target. Stepping back a few steps, you paused. Eyes on the handle, waiting for them to walk back out, swing the door wide open. 

It felt like hours till the handle jiggled and sure enough it swung wide open with both men leaving, laughing about some shared joke between one another. You started counting just like the way your Grandpa showed you when you were a kid playing hide and seek in the apple orchard.

One Mississippi

 You stepped forward as if you had been striding from your cot, which neither of you bothered to give a glance. The door clicked into reverse. 

Two Mississippi

Your chest clenched seeing the door start to close, the two men were a step away from you now where you could pass between them and the door. 

Three Mississippi

In passing, you rolled the ball of fabric in your palm, your hand brushing against the inside of the door jam and nimbly shoved the ball into the hole that would seal the door shut. Continuing on past. 

Four Mississippi

You paused at the bathroom door, your hand giving a shiver of anxiety while listening before opening the bathroom door. Please don't latch, please don't latch…. 

Five Mississippi

The door shut, but there was no distinctive click the door handle locked. You glanced over your shoulder to see it looked sealed. You yanked on the bathroom handle and escaped into the bathroom, covering your mouth as a gasp of relief escaped you, tears brimming your eyes at knowing it worked. Now it was just hoping Wilford left before he found out what you had done. Sinking to the floor, you took several breaths to try to calm your racing heart. Tilting your head back and closing your eyes, your hands pressed against your belly, whispering. “Jace, we are gonna find your daddy and figure it out from there. Right kiddo… we got this. We are going to be okay.” 

After giving yourself your pep talk and you weren't feeling like Wilford was going to figure it out and bust through that door, you made your way back out to see Claude had joined Wilford and Grey. 

“Well I need to go do my inspections.” Wilford motioned towards to exit, Grey took a glance at you shuffling back to your cot. Coldly he looked you up and down, obviously checking you out. 

“Will be seeing you soon Y/N.” You didn't respond, looking away as you lowered down onto your cot. He left and Wilford reached out for a clipboard Claude was holding, scanning over several papers. “What's the numbers on the tailenders?” 

“High hundreds. We took a count this morning. Its getting overcrowded once again.” 

“Ahh, I know it was getting bad once more. Gonna have to do something about that.” Wilford sighed. “Just need to get creative about it.” You did your best to keep from retaliating. “And how's our special guest there?” 

This made you perk, curious as to who he would be talking about. “Oh settling in nicely, like he never left.” Claude retorted as the door opened, and you couldn't stop the flutter of hope. Maybe it was Curtis.. Could be Curtis they were talking about. The door slammed shut and you started to count. 

Wilford could stay away anywhere from ten minutes to an hour. As anxiously as you wanted to run to the door and go in the room of cameras, you couldn't do it too soon. Wilford would just rush back in and stop you. All this effort, lost. 

So you waited. Counting like before till you were sure it had been a good ten minutes. Easing off the cot, you approached the door and rested your hand to the door handle. 

God let this work. You screwed your eyes shut and started to ease back, the door moving just as easily as if it was properly unlocked. Not even a turn of the handle. Slipping inside and pulling out the fabric from the hollow spot in the door, you let it shut you in. 

Camera, so many grainy moving pictures, it made your head thump with the intake of information. You started moving from screen to screen, searching faces to try to find Curtis. No matter how many you looked through, searching the garden cars, over to the kitchen crew, entertainment cars full of kronole high individuals, none of them had Curtis. You made your way down the line, cars with animals, people making equipment, prison cars. Still no Curtis. You bit at your lip, your fingertips pressing against screens, like you were crossing off people. 

“Come on Curtis, I need you to show yourself.” You passed to the last row, people all from the tail end. You leaned in close, mentally crossing off sections till you stopped at the door. It was a flash of familiarity that brought you back to that screen. 

“Jace… I found your daddy.” Your voice broke in relief, seeing him studying the door and camera, scowling up at it. You remember that look, the one that he was frustrated with his situation. You had never been so relieved to see him looking pissed off. “Thank fucking god you are still alive Curtis.” You fell back to sink in an office chair. “Now how do I get you out?” 

[doyoungyoung]

Summary: Never leave someone without telling them or simply you shouldn't have left doyoung alone

Words: 2.4k

Warnings: heavy angst

Doyoung and you had the relationship everyone wanted in their lifetime. You were so lucky to have him around you, were basically living with him, waiting for him to come back home from his work, and almost jumping on him when you see him. Everything was perfect, too perfect that it scared you. The fear that was keeping you awake at nights came true when you got a job and they wanted you to leave the country and go to America. The idea of being away from doyoung made you cry, you had your doubts but you never thought it will come so soon. Facing doyoung became difficult from that day, you cant even look in his eyes properly. 

Doyoung works enough for both of you to have a good 2 bedroom flat for both of them but the problem was your parents. You have to give them money so they can survive. It was hard, exhausting, you are stuck with them forever even  though you hated them but there was no way for you to get rid of them. The moment you told them you have to go to America, they were like

"Thats the best thing"

"Yeah now you can leave that rabbit dude"

This is why you hate them they dont care about your life they only care about your money.  

There was only a week left before you have to go but you havent told doyoung it just couldn't come out of your mouth. You were scared to see how he will react, how angry he would be and that was ur most cruel thing you ever did.

D-day

You were super clingy with him knowing you have to leave him today for 2 years or more if they didnt let you go. The thing you were doing was absolutely wrong but still you didn't have to courage to say it loud

"Why you are so clingy today?" Doyoung ask while caressing ur hairs softly making u sleepy

"Just bcoz- wait do we really need a reason for cuddling?"

"No you dont i was just ask- " you didnt even let him complete his sentence and kissed him. He smiled in the kiss and wrapped your face in his hand and deepen the kiss. When you both were satisfied he broke it. 

"Baby i will go now and buy the things you told me to okay wait for me i will be right back" he kissed ur forehead and went to our room to take his wallet. You watched his every step wanting to suck in all his beauty, his feature in your mind to keep the memory something you can think about when you will reach there. 

Time went faster than you expected, after saying goodbyes and love yous he left. The nostalgic feeling you were feeling moments ago hitted you hard making you cry out loud in pain. Nothing like this would have happened if her parents were working so all the blame was on them. And then being away from doyoung was more hurtful. Maybe you did really bad things in ur past life that you are stuck in this situation. You put urself together and packed your things maybe taking away two three of his hoodies bcoz they give you the comfort like doyoung do. Everything was done under an hour, his arrival was close you changed your clothes, took a cab and was able to escape to the airport before he could come back.

Doyoung was happy. He bought all the stuff even though he was confused why will you even need it. He was thinking about u making him smile. You made him the happiest without doing a thing and he was ready to spend his whole life with you. He came back home, placing the stuff on the table and you werent there on the couch and it felt a bit empty he didnt knew why. He brushed off the awful feeling and moved to your room. 

"Y/n where are you" 

He opened the door and maybe he forgot how to breathe for a moment. Everything was out there was only a bed which was only used for sometimes or else u were sleeping with him. His heart was trying to tell him dont think that dont think that but it was so obvious he found a letter laying on now an uncovered bed, he slowly took it, scared to look at it.

Dear doie,

If u are reading this you might be back home and heartbroken after seeing i am not here. Doyoung it wasnt in my hand. You know how i have been helping my family for years now and still they struggle so i got a job opportunity in america and decided to take it. I know i made a very selfish decision but i hope you can understand why i took this path. I wish maybe we can be together when i get back from there i dont think it will take way too much so only i can wish. Its too much to ask right?? I shouldnt. Doyoung you are one of the best things that ever happened to me and i love you the most in this whole world. No one ever made me feel the things like you do and i hope you remember this. Btw i took 3 of your hoodies with me to have the same feeling i feel when i hug you i hope u dont mind that. I am sorry doyoung for doing what i did but please dont take anything on urself, you deserve much better person than me. U can find anyone if u want. In the end i just wanna say

I love you doyoung please stay safe and stay healthy <3

Doyoung eyes were filled with tears which was on the verge of falling down while reading the letter. He doesnt understand why you didnt told him. He may have understood you but now you were gone leaving him in the apartment which he tried so hard to earn just for the sake of them living together. At this point the tears made its way out of his eyes. His heart was hurting like someone just cut it open making a wound which he thinks is never gonna heal. He falls down on the down trying so hard not to scream it hurts it hurts more when you were his first love. The love which he tried so hard to keep but all his efforts went to waste when you left. 

He pulled himself together after that day he spend all his time for 3 4 days in your room ,crying, screaming, hurting himself. He wasnt able to come out of this phase and accept the fact he lost you. 

On the 5th day he woke up with dark circle under his eyes, ruffled hairs, smelly clothes bcoz he may have forgot to bath. He was feeling numb thought of you was out of this mind too fast for his liking but it felt nice for the first time in 4 days. Feelings weren't there he doesnt feel anything and doesnt even pay attention to it. He takes a bath, puts up some makeup to hide his dark circles and leaves the house for his office. He already was on a leave for 5 days and it may risk his job. He went there, worked and came back and he didnt knew when all the time passed by

5 years later

"Y/n boss is calling you" mark told her making her a bit confused on the sudden invitation. U entered his place kinda intimidated by the office layout. It was too dark for her liking but who can question his choice.

"Yes sir"

Jaehyun made you sit down on the chair in front of him

"So listen y/n you have been working here for 5 years now and i am really impressed by your work and i think your job is done here. I will allow you to go back to korea and i will talk to the boss their to get you on a higher post so dont worry about the salary"

The words leaving his mouth made you so happy that u almost jumped.

"Thank you sir i will moved out tom"

"Sure" he send me off giving me the cutest smile which everyone was a fan of.

Your stay in america was nice, you were given a place to live while working, you made some new friends which made you forget about doyoung for a bit but he never got out of ur heart like he sat in ur heart and never stood up. Living without him was more tough than you thought but now the suffering was gonna be over you can go back to your place back to him and now even your parents approved of him as the best guy for you because no one can take his place. 

Next day 

You were here, here in your hometown seoul which was one of the prettiest place for you. You were happy more happy than you were ever in the other country. You decided to visit the bridge you love the most that maybe be the place where doyoung first confessed to you. It holds a special pace in your heart so you made your way there. 

The weather was a bit chilly but it was warm enough to roam around in a jacket. The trip to the bridge was beautiful. Night time in seoul is one of the most beautiful things you can encounter making your heart full. You reached the place and took all your sweet time to reach the top. You were about to reach it when you saw him. 

You saw his broad shoulder he was wearing a black tshirt his jacket was in his hand. You can tell its doyoung by his hairstyle he never changes it. He was looking at the city which was lighted like Christmas. You stood there behind him observing how he was breathing slowly taking all the scenery in. But..... you didnt have to courage to face him. All of the sudden you were scared remembering how everything was ur mistake and maybe its very wrong to be back to him after hurting him for so long. U were busy with your own thoughts that you didnt realise him turning back and your eyes met. That moment felt like all the time in the world stopped. Everything stopped moving around them like it was only them in the world.

Doyoung in the past 5 years went through a lot. His job gave him a hard time but he worked hard getting promotions after promotions making him the manager in his company. It made it easy for him to buy a new home for himself in the expensive area of this town. He was living a good life now without worrying about anything. But seeing you there standing front of him felt like the wound he thought he closed 5 years ago opened up in broad nightlight. It hurts he forgot how things feels after you left. All the feelings he burried in that 5 days were back he wasnt sure if he was happy, angry, sad or everything at the same time. He was out of words. You were staring in his eyes with so much love that he might have melted away at that moment. You became more beautiful than how he was used to see you before. You looked matured like a business lady. It made his feel things after so long which he forget how it felt. It didnt last long when all the pain he went through those 5 years hitted him making him almost loose his balance. When u saw him looking a bit lost u decided to start the conversation

"Hey doyoung" hearing ur voice was too much for him he cant figure out how he feels he was confused he was hurt he was on the verge of crying again but he tried to maintain himself.

"Hi y/n" it felt right and wrong at the same time hearing your name again from his lips made you feel the butterflies again but it also felt painful at the same time. Before you can say anything he spoke

"Why are u back?" Fuck that hurts he said it with so much coldness. the eyes which was filled with emotions 2 seconds now were filled with hatred. 

"B-bcoz i am done with my work there now i can have a better post here so they sent me back" u were suddenly nervous that you might trigger him or something. 

"Good for you" he dropped the topic more quickly then it started. 

" what about you?" 

"I am a manager now at the same company"

"Congratulations doie your hard work paid off-"

"Dont call me doie" "you lost the right to do so"

His words were like a swords piercing through ur heart knowing u deserve it u deserve all of it. Doyoung saw it he saw ur eyes getting teary. He was mesmerized even though he hates you now from all his heart he still was in love with the same person who he confessed to on the same place they are standing rn. No one can take ur place even after trying a thousand times. He took ur wrist and pulled you closer. Your heartbeat increased at the dangerous speed like a teenager in love. You looked into his eyes you felt the love when you saw the same doyoung you loved 5 years ago. 

You were about to say something when you felt his lips on yours. Your heart might have bursted in love. It felt so soft it was perfect, his lips moved with you pulling each other closer to feel what was missing for 5 years. U were crying between the kiss overwhelmed by the whole situation. He was the one who pulled back he kissed you for the one last time, and he got backed to his cold eyes which made you cry harder. He whipped your tears away and walked a little far from you.

"One day we will meet again y/n. i am leaving u here. I loved you the most y/n and u still decided to do all of this leaving me to suffer. Lets hope we wont meet again bcoz if we did idk if i will make u suffer like you did to me or will give u all the love we both missed in 5 years. So dont ever try to find me again bcoz the wound you made will never be healed"

And he walked away.

[highstwildflower]

Highly

A/n: this is really long I’m sorry!😂

Words: 2000 ca.

The cloud that erupted from your lips vanished into thin air, reminding you of the man who used to fan the smoke away from his reach. Now the spot next to you was empty, no one was complaining and no one was bugging you about being unhealthy. The thick joint was pressed between your lips once again, sucking the poison into your lungs. The relaxing plant infected your system and everything slowed down. The stars swimming above you dripped into the moon that was filled to the brim. You finished the joint, leaning back with a heart that was aching. Moving around you found the position that allowed your heavy heart some rest, your phone was out of reach and you were too lazy to retrieve it. You wanted to shoot him a text tho, telling him all the words he never got to hear.

Instead you lay there, images burning behind closed eyes. Images of his green forrest eyes that disappeared when his laughter erupted, how you would kill to hear that laugh again. The feeling of  the vibration through his chest as he sung you a new tune. How he used to look at you, eyes searching for inspiration and the look in them the second he found it. Being his muse had been the greatest achievement of your life. Your favorite memory was from the frosty night in December only five moths prior, ditching a party the two of you had ventured off into the night. He had held you close when you arrived at your shared home, bodies moving in sync, the rhythm you fell into in the bed had been steady and slow. Intimate love making till dawn. Your bodies not craving sleep, instead you had moved to the patio. His large body had been pressed firmly against the lounge couch and he had pulled you against him. Limbs draped over each other's and low voices filling the air with words of adoration. The conversation following the flow of the wind, the chilly morning offering you an excuse to snuggle closer to your love. He had happily accepted the closeness, and soon series of laughter had erupted into the slow morning. Just the two of you, bodies pressed together and love flowing freely.

You mind had turned off to the memory of him, and next thing you knew you woke up in your lonely bed. It had never felt so big when Michael had been taking up half of it. The empty room taunting you and the long halls hunting the memories that was made here away. As days fell into night and night turned into days your speckle off hope had vanished. The hope of feeling his body once more, his lips on yours and his voice rumbling against your skins. Instead you tugged away your emotions everyday walking through life as someone else, and only allowing the emotions to take over at night. Most nights your mind raced to the loving memories, but some nights it was the burning memories of pain the pressed into your head.

Dating Michael had been fun and easy, when he asked you to build a home with him you had been ecstatic. Slowly reality dawned on you, the rockstar lifestyle being far away from the life you wished to led. His drinking turned into situations that was hurtful, a large number of girls pressing on. Wishing to enter your relationship, you begging him to change every night when he would stumble through the door.

The last time you saw him stung in the back of your mind. Just mere hours after you had told him that he had to stop with the excessive amount of alcohol and he has kissed you with a promise of doing better. You were fuming when you heard him fumbling with the front door, the creaking of the door setting you completely off. With steam clouding your mind you had entered the entrance and he had shot you a short smile. As he came close the words that left his mouth dragged your breath away, leaving your body defenseless "I though you were out with us? Who was the girl I kissed than?" He carelessly moved through your house towards the bedroom. Tears drawing pathways down your cheeks and hiccups threatening to spill passed your lips. You stayed up all night, waiting for him to sober up. Every minute of the night was spent considering the conversation of tomorrow. When he was clear in his head, he yelled out for you, his words bouncing of the walls. Your fragile body towering over him, and your voice anything but fragile. He was shunned from the house, leaving in a hurry as you yelled out your pain. Months passed where you awaited his next move, silently hoping that he would beg for you to forgive him. Instead you got nothing.  His stuff was still where he left them except from his guitars. And you knew everything but his guitars was replaceable. When Calum had turned up at your door with a sorrowful painted across his face you knew he was there to pick them up. It hurt every time you glanced at the empty room having yet to entered it, dust was covering the corners and slowly tugging the room into a dull forgotten memory.

Your high ponytail was swinging from side to side as you strutted down the sidewalk. The pep in your steps were just a reminded to yourself that you had the power to move on. When you spotted him at your favorite coffee shop, your steps came to a halt. His eyes meet yours long before yours meet his. He saw you and froze. Your smile telling him that you were doing good but your eyes spilling your secret. Awkwardly you walked over to him "hi stranger" your voice was a pitch higher than usual and you mentally scolded yourself for the preppy outburst. His voice was darker than you remembered but the impact of his words stronger than you expected "Hi. How are you?" The concentration on your face told him that you were trying your best to stay cool "I'm good , yeah very good. What about you?" The forced smile made his heart ache and his guards grow weaker. "Im glad you are doing good y/n. Im getting through day by day. 4 months sober yesterday" His voice grew with pride as he told you about his sobriety, and his smile grew even larger as he saw the proud look on your face. Without thinking twice you leaped into his arms, hugging him tightly against yourself "Im so proud of you Micky." Your cheeks grew red as you realized that this wasn't what was normal for you to do anymore. The break up meant that you had to sacrifice being close to him and just watch his life from afar. You knew he was sober, his instagram had told you so. But to hear the words leave his mouth made you ache with pride. When he felt you draw back he pulled you into himself again, not ready to let you slide through his fingers once more. Your smell was filling his nostrils and he wanted to keep you wrapped in his arms forever. When he let go of your body, you stumbled back and took him in. He looked better than ever, more fit and more alive. The silence laid as a blanket making the air hot and thick and just as you were about to say your byes he spoke up "Do you wanna catch up some day? maybe drink a cup of coffee?" you smiled shyly at him, and the fact that he had cheated on you was forgotten, "Yeah I would like that." Just like that you had a date with him, your body felt like yours for the first time in months and the pep in your step were no longer forced.

The knock at your door alerted you that he had arrived. You opened the door and smiled at him a laugh followed shortly behind "Quite weird having you knocking on your own door" he smiled back at you before he spoke "Thats ok, you look absolutely beautiful love" he handed you the flowers in his hand and you felt oddly embarrassed, such gestures never fell naturally to Michael. More a man of words he would praise you, shower you in physical affection but stray away from gifts. The ride in his car was longer than you remembered it, the small drops of sweat that was collecting at Michaels hairline let you know that you weren't alone with the crippling feeling of anxiety that started to form the second you woke up. His hands were both clutched to the steering wheel and as he turned into the coffee shop your stomach turned with anticipation. "I was thinking we could do to go? And then go to our spot?" You smiled at his idea, that he remembered how much you enjoined your spot.

The car came to a halt at the empty parking spot. Michael was quick to climb out of the car and open your door for you. Slowly you made your way towards the spot. Surrounded by nature you felt your breath become easier. The large stones that leaned against each other offered a place to take a seat. He came prepared with a blanket and a packed picking. Like so many times before you took place next to each other, the still warm air clinging to both your bodies as the sun continued it's decent. The ocean reached the stones and splashes were sent into the sky. His legs rested and made contact with the firmness of your other thigh. Slow conversation filled the space between you and drew you closer. Coffee was sipped and sandwiches shared. The sun came into contact with the ocean and Michael dived into the cruel conversation that was awaiting you. His body turned to yours "I'm sorry" his words were low but you heard him, your eyes meet and you signaled for him to go on. He took deep breaths of fresh air, worried that his fragile words wouldn't be enough "I'm sorry for everything I put you through. I've realized that I was so far out of line. All my decisions fell back onto you. And I'm awfully sorry about kissing another woman. You are truly the only one for me. I understand if you aren't interested in being with me ever again, but I've changed y/n. I'm still working on myself, but you are my motivation every single day and I want to make it up to you." You mind was clouded by his words, the mentioning of his infidelity was like salt in wounds but you wanted to give him a chance. "Yeah you sucked" you tried to lighten the mood but you both knew that, that was a light way to put it. You continued while gripping his hand " I want to be with you Mickey. But it is definitely going to be difficult for me to trust you" you smiled a careful smile at him and he moved even closer, desperate to feel you. His hand moved to your face as he silently asked for your permission to press his lips against yours. You nodded your head, eager to feel the movement. The world stood still, birds chirping became louder and the intensity of the small gesture made you dizzy. Michael was right there with you, you soft lips sending him into a feeling of ecstasy.

Silent promise between lovers who had been torn apart filled the now colder air. Sun kissing the ocean and dancing in warm colors. Pulling one another closer, and thinking of each other highly.

[shotokimchi]

Heartless (Bakugou x Fem!Reader) vs (Kirishima x Fem!Reader)

Summary: ANGST, ANGST, ANGST...

A/n: If you have any ideas for me, please dont be shy and message me! I will gladly write for you. Please make sure to check it out Spices and Love HERE!

You were sitting in your room, with red puffy eyes and messy hair. Your clean and cute room was now a mess. When you were about to wash your face you got a notification, sighing you made your way towards the phone, it was a message from Kirishima. Kirishima tried to reach you for hours but you left him on read, you didnt wanted to see anyone at the moment. Then you heard a knock on your door and sighed “I wanna be alone.” Your voice cracked at the end and your face turned into a scowl. *Ugh, i feel sick.* then you heard the knock again and slapped your forehead “What do you-” Your words died in your throat and you saw a familiar brunette. It was her, the one who ruined everything, the one who told you that she was your best friend then stabbed you on the back. You tried to slam the door shut but she immediately pushed it back “Y/n, please listen!” You felt the anger rising, when you were angry you were way too scary, sometimes even Bakugou looked soft compared to you. “Leave, now!” You screamed and tried to close the door then you heard a 3rd voice “Uraraka-san, stop it!” It was Momo, she was your everything. You gave a sigh of relief and continued to push the door, then Momo grabbed Uraraka’s arm and tried to yank her back without hurting her. “Wait, i need to talk to her!” She tried to reach towards the door but Momo tightened her hold on Uraraka’s arm and replied “She needs some time right now, dont push things.” Uraraka sighed and left. Momo’s room was next to yours so it made her hear every single thing that happened around you. When Uraraka’s figure dissapeared she immediately knocked on your door “Y/n-chan, its me.” She waited and the door slowly opened “Momo-chan...” Your eyes started to water and she pulled you into a hug. “Lets go inside” she smiled and holded your hand. When she saw your room her mouth was on the floor, you were a clean and organised person but now the tissues, and the glass of the broken lamp was everywhere. “Y/n-chan you cant walk around, you can cut your toes!” She called Mina and Jirou for help and five minutes later they were in front of your door. Mina pulled you into a tight hug and Jirou patted your head with a small smile, Mina tried to lift your spirits so she tried to give her biggest smile “Let’s clean!” You tried to smile but it looked more like a grimace. When you bent down to pick up the tissues Jirou crouched down beside you and grabbed your hand “No, you go sit on the bed!” the other two nodded and you sighed “But, i cant let you clean my room, i wanna help.” Momo cupped your cheek and smiled “You are tired Y/n-chan, please go sit.” You gave a defeated sigh and plopped down on your bed. When you started to wiggle your toes Mina turned to look at you and gasped in shock “Y/n-chan, your feet?!” When Momo and Jirou turned to look at you their face turned pale and you raised a brow “What about my fe-” You saw the cuts under them caused by the glass of your nightstand lamp. “I-i didnt noticed.” Mina frowned and putted her hands on her hips “Thats it! Im calling Kirishima!” You tried to get up but after looking under your feet, you realised the pain. Kirishima was one of your best friends so you knew that he was going to get more worried than he needed to “N-no!” But you were too late, Mina dialed his number and told your situation and after 3 minutes you heard loud bangs and slapped your forehead, when Mina turned the doorknob Kirishima barged in and ran towards you “Y/n!” He grabbed your shoulders and started to examine you “K-kiri, im fine!” He looked at you with worry and sadness. You sighed and pulled him into a hug “Why were you ignoring my texts?!” He raised his voice but regretted it, he was just trying to understand what happened. “Im sorry, Kiri...” He sighed and flicked your forehead “Y/n, i should be the one who’s apologising.” You immediately understood where he was getting at so you pinched his cheeks “Dont you dare blame yourself Kirishima Eijiro!” He felt guilty and it wasnt even his fault it was his best friend’s. “Owieee!” He grabbed your wrists and tried to stop you then you started to giggle and his eyes softened. You were finally laughing...

After Kirishima got a call from Mina, Bakugou saw the worry in his eyes and immediately understood that it was about you, shitty hair was trying to reach your for hours. Kaminari sighed loudly and looked at Sero “I wonder what happened.” Sero shrugged and looked at Bakugou “What are you looking at?” He barked and Sero frowned. Kaminari sighed and looked at Bakugou “Dude, chill.” Bakugou scoffed and got up from his seat “Im going to my room, i dont wanna deal with anyone.” He walked towards the elevator and left.

-

“Y/n, can you tell us what happened?” Jirou asked, you were sitting on your bed with Momo and Jirou, Mina and Kirishima were sitting on the floor. Everyone was looking at you with curious but sad eyes, you didnt told them what happened but they knew that your heart was broken. You took a deep breath and started to explain as calm as possible “This morning, when i was walking towards the classroom... I saw Bakugou and Uraraka.” Jirou raised a brow “They were making out.” Kirishima’s eyes widened and Mina shouted “But you guys are dating?!” Your nails were leaving marks on your thigs “No Mina... I walked towards them and pushed him, i tried to confront him but i learned that...” You squeezed your eyes shut and Momo patted your back “Learned what?” Jirou whispered “I learned that he was using me to make Uraraka jelaous.” Kirishima gritted his teeth “This is unacceptable.” He growled and Mina stood up “Y/n!” She pulled you in a tight hug and you started to cry. Everyone in the classroom knew that you were in love with Bakugou for 3 years, at first everyone was shocked because you were strong and intelligent some of the guys from other classes gave you a nickname, “Unapproachable” some of them tried to ask you out but you always refused, your heart was screaming ‘Katsuki’. So when he asked you out you felt like the happiest girl in the world. “He tossed me out because Uraraka feels the same about him.” You started to shake and Kirishima couldnt watch you suffer so he got up and rushed towards the common room.

-

“Where is Bakugou?” Kaminari panicked bc of the harsh tone, it was Kirishima. He had never seen him so angry, he gulped and answered “In his room, everything ok ?” Kirishima gave a firm nod and walked towards the elevator, Kaminari looked at Sero and they both stood up “You guys stay here.” Kirishima said with a firm tone. Kaminari shook his head “Dude, we are in this together i dont know what happened but you are my best friend.” Sero nodded and tried to smile, Kirishima relaxed and thanked them.

-

Bakugou was laying on his bed and staring at the ceiling, he knew what he did was wrong bc you always cared about him even when he was a jerk but his pride was too important so instead of apologising he avoided you like nothing happened. When he saw the broken expression on your face he regretted his actions but he had a crush on Uraraka. At first his plan didnt seemed so cruel to him, he was going to flirt with you, make Uraraka jelaous then make her confess to him. Things got out of hand and he found himself asking you out. He knew about your feelings and he hated himself for playing with them but when he saw the looks Uraraka was giving you both, he forgot about you and continued. He started to get touchy with you whenever she was around. There was jelaousy in her eyes but something else was there too... Fear, sadness and regret. She didnt wanted to stab her best friend on the back and Bakugou knew that, he couldnt help it, he wanted her. So today, when Uraraka wanted to talk with him, he got excited and forgot about you. She came with a serious expression on her face “Bakugou we need to talk.” He tried to hide his smirk but failed “What do you want pink cheeks?” She crossed her arms “Stop playing with my friend’s feelings.” He chuckled and answered “Are you worried about her or is it about your own feelings?” Her eyes widened and she blushed “This is not about us, Bakugou! You are playing with her, you know that she has a crush on you.” Bakugou’s smirk dropped and he sighed “Tch, i know that. Then why are you watching and not helping her?” She froze “I-i want her to be happy.” Bakugou wanted to laugh but controlled himself “I cant make her happy and you know that.” she sighed “We are both selfish...” Bakugou grabbed her wrist and looked at her in the eyes “So... what about it? Lets be selfish.” He pulled her into a heated kiss and thats when they both heard a gasp. Your eyes were wide, brows were furrowed and legs were trembling. Bakugou’s heart stopped, he didnt thought seeing the expression on your face would make him so sad. “W-what are you doing?” your voice cracked and you started to walk towards him “Y/n-chan please listen!” Uraraka immediately pushed him and tried to grab your hand but you avoided contact and grabbed Bakugou by his collar. “Why...?” Your pupils were trembling, he opened his mouth but nothing came out. You started to shake him “Give me a reason!” Uraraka grabbed your arm “Y/n im so sorry!” You pushed her and shouted “You are sorry because you got caught!” Bakugou crouched next to her and helped her up “Y/n!” He warned you with a harsh tone and your blood started to boil. “You asshole, you owe me an explanation, i loved you and thats what im getting for return?!” Uraraka’s eyes were glued to the floor, Bakugou looked at you in the eyes and opened his mouth “I never had a crush on you, i asked you out because... I wanted her.” Your vision become blurry with tears and you gave them a disgusted look “Y/n please!” Uraraka shouted but you turned around and left. When class started, he sat down he looked at your desk and it was empty, Aizawa came and told that you werent feeling well. Everyone in the classroom got worried especially Momo and Kirishima. They were clueless, he decided to stay quiet. *BAM BAM BAM* The loud bang on the door woke him up from his thoughts, he groaned and opened the door “What do you-” When he was about to scold the one who interrupted him, he saw his best friend standing in front of the door with bloody red eyes, Kaminari and Sero were grabbing his shoulders but when he saw Bakugou’s face he yanked them off and punched him in the face “You were my biggest role model, you were my best friend... How could you do something so wrong?!” He shouted and Bakugou groaned “Leave me alone.” He demanded but Kirishima continued to look at him with anger, Kaminari and Sero ran towards him and tried to calm him down but it didnt worked “Bro calm down!” Kaminari shouted but when he received a glare from Kiri, he stopped trying. “How can you play with Y/n’s feelings?! You knew that she liked you, how can you play with someone like they dont have any emotions?!” Sero and Kaminari was even more confused, Sero decided to step in “What do you mean Kirishima?” Kirishima turned around and glared “He dated Y/n because he liked Uraraka. He used Y/n.” Kaminari let out a gasp and Sero’s eyes widened “What...?” Sero’s question was more like a whisper. Kirishima only got angrier and he kicked Bakugou in the stomach, Bakugou lost his patience and screamed back “I cant deal with you right now!” He punched Kiri back and now they were wrestling on the floor. When they got too intense the other guys in the floor informed Aizawa and he separated them. 

-

Mina’s phone was ringing, she looked at the contact info and saw Kaminari’s ID. “”Whats up?” Her face dropped and she looked at you, Momo and Jirou gave questioning looks. “Y/n, Kiri and Bakugou... They got into a fight.” You immediately stood up and rushed towards the common room “Y/n wait for us!” Jirou shouted but you were too deaf to hear it. When you arrived Kirishima was sitting on the couch with an icepack in his hands “Kiri!” You ran towards him and some of the guys turned to look at you “Y/n-chan... What happened to your feet?” Midoriya pointed at your bandaged feet and you shook your head “Nothing important Midoriya, dont worry.” Todoroki frowned but you paid no mind and crouched in front of Kirishima. “Idiot, what did you do?” You grabbed the icepack and pushed it on his cheek.” He hissed but gave you a small smile “I didnt do anything.” You sighed “Kirishima, dont get into trouble because of me.” He frowned and flicked your forehead “Owie! What was that for?!” He pouted “You are my best friend! I would gladly get into trouble for you!” Your eyes widened and your cheeks started to burn. He closed his eyes and gave you the biggest smile he could manage “You are important Y/n!” The mood was better and the other guys started to smile. Bakugou watched the interaction from afar and he realised that... He just made the biggest mistake.

A/N: If you want a part 2 just reblog and let me know! Also if you have suggestiongs dont be shy and message me!

[arthurflecksgirl]

Hello 💖

May I please have Arthur x Reader? They get into a fight and reader is so stressed that they get overheated and ends up passing out? Like their pulse is fast and out cold for a few hours. Thanks chu 💫✨⭐

Hiiiii hun, I missed you! ❤ Of course. Its always a pleasure. Here is the result and I reallyyyyyyy hope you like it.❤

Arthurs hand in yours felt warm and familar. It was the only thing to hold onto in this cold, dark world, especially here in Gotham city. Walking through those crowded streets usually wasnt fun. But today he was by your side. The two of you together. Hand in hand. There was nothing in this world you needed more. Even though it was just a regular day, there was that moment of pure happiness.

You just came back from Arthurs appointment with his new therapist and she seemed so much nicer than Dr Kane. She even allowed you to be present for the whole time, because Arthur was more than nervous about meeting her for the first time. He didnt had  any good experience with his former ones. Arthur wished for someone to listen. Now that he was with you, he always had someone to talk to. But he still wanted to go to therapy, he wanted to get better and he needed to go there,to get his meds.

Arthur was very toughtful with his medication. Sometimes he took one more pill in the hope to find some sleep, but besides that he was trying his best to take his meds like he should. He knew it was important to talk about his thoughts and he felt the need to do so.

The new doctor seemed nice and asked him to start a brand new journal. She thought it was time to let the old diary go. It was nothing more but bad memories of loneliness and with you on his side, his lonely times were finally over .  Arthur smiled when Dr. Tyler told him so. He liked the idea of a new journal. So you both went into the city to get him a new one.

Arthur sqeezed your hand while he held his new diary with the other. It was dark red, his fave color. "I`ve got lots and lots of blank pages now" he said.

"Yes, I bet they will be filled with some new jokes tonight?" you blinked at him, which almost made him blush. It was so easy to make him blush. He was so innocent at heart.

"Nahh I think I will write some poetry tonight, especially for you."

"Oh Artie, you`re the sweetest"

"Dont say that before you read the poems" he laughed.

"I know they`re going to be beautiful"

He pressed his new diary to his chest "I dont know....sometimes I think I`m not good with words. I mean, besides from joking. Its hard to put my feelings into words. Especially love. I mean. I feel it. I feel so much of it. Too much actually. Its so much it feels like the words and letters are too tiney to fit all these emotions in them because the emotions are like....endless... and....." he looked at you and  noticed the grin on your face "See? Thats what I mean. I am not good in this. At all."

"It was actually pretty impressive".

A shy smile crossed his thin lips "Thank you, honey".

You felt happy for him. Arthur appriciated the little things in life. Like holding hands or a brand new journal. A poem.

Life in Gotham was often overwhelming but hand in hand you both created your own little world. You made the universe as small as you wanted to.

You just crossed the street as you noticed a very small man being kicked by a puff looking dude. Arthur immediately noticed. He knew these kinda situations too well.

"Arthur look, what is happening over there?"

He let go of your hand and ran up to them "Oh my god, thats Gary!"

He was a fast runner and it was almost impossible to be as fast as he. The traffic got in the way  and for a second he was out of sight.

"Arthur?!"

He waved for you to come over.

He was kneeing down at Garys "Gary, my god, are you okay? Did he hurt you?" His workmate tried to get up "Its okay Art, I think I`m fine. Maybe a broken a bone or two".

"You are joking right?" Arthur seemed confused. Sometimes he couldnt tell if someone made a joke or not.

"His bones are not the only ones getting broken today" the muscular guy laughed.

"Excuse me, what?" Arthur got up but not before making sure Gary was able to walk.

"You heard me, you clown. Thats what you both are, right? Fucking clowns. I saw you working for HaHas."

Arthur took a step closer "So what?"

You took his hand "Arthur , I think we should go home right now"

Gary was standing right next to you, holding his arm, a painful look on his face.

Arthur focused the stranger "No. I mean, my friend was just attacked by this guy and I really want to know why".

A cruel smile formed on the attackers face "Because I felt like it, clown boy. I mean look at this freak" he pointed at Gary.

There was something in Arthurs eyes you havent seen before "Dont ever call him a freak again. He is my  friend!"

"Awwwww" the tall guy yelled "Sweet" and just as he said so, he punshed Artthur in the face. Bloods of drop dripped down his nose.

"Ohhh clwon boy got a red nose. How tragic!"

Your touched Arthurs cheek "Oh my god, are you okay? Baby?"

The attacker couldnt stop laughing "Baby! Hahaha. Yeah . Thats what he is" and his fist punshed Arthur right into the stomach. Arthur fell down on his knees, bending forward from pain. Gary whimpering in the background. This was all too much.

Arthur pulled his gun.

The stranger took two steps back "Calm down, pal."

"Leave now or you will see what clown boy can do" Arthur coughed while the blood was running down his nose.

"Arthur, don`t. He`s not worth it" Gary cried behind you.

You almost forgot how crowded this street was. But no one seemed to notice. No one ever seemed to care here in Gotham city.

The attacker turned around and ran away. Arthurs gun disappeared in his pocket.

Watching him pulling out his gun was too much for you.  You almost thought he would do something.

"Arthur you almost...." you felt the heat floathing your body. It was uncomfortable.

"No, I didnt. I only wanted to scare him. Its not even loaded."

His words should have camled you down but it was already to late for that. Your pulse was racing from stress. And the moment Arthur took you in his arms , your vision started to blurr.

The next thing you remembered was waking up on Arthurs couch. His huge, green blanket covering your whole body.

Arthurs curls tickeling your nose. The familiar smell of Prell shampoo and his cigarettes.

You were home.

How did you got here?

You tried to recall what happened.

Gary.

There was an attacker and Arthur got into a fight with him.

You tried to remember more but everything seemed like a dream you forgot the minute you woke up.

"Darling?" you said with a sleepy voice while you felt Arthurs arms tight around your body.

"I`m here, Y/N. I`m right here. You are home. Everything is okay."

"I cant remember...what happened....is Gary okay,too?"

"He is" Arthur whispered into your ear. You now noticed that quiet music was playing in the background.

He kissed into your hair "He got away with some scratches."

You turned your head to face him "You`re nose is hurt" you kissed the tip of his nose.

"Thats....nothing. I`ll be fine. The most important thing is how you feel. You passed out. "

"Ohh....thats why I cant remember anything...this happenes when I get stressed out".

Arthur stroke your hair "I`m so sorry, its my fault.I should`t have pulled out that fucking gun".

"You only wanted to protect Gary "

"Yeah...."

"Dont blame yourself,Arthur. " you rested your head on his chest "I cant even remember you bringing me home. "

"I carried you all the way home. You coudln`t walk."

"Oh my god..."

He pulled you even closer "Tell me if there is anything I can do...."

"Just hold me....and could you....could you please kiss my neck until I fall back to sleep? I feel like I need some rest...After I fell asleep you could start the first page of your journal and tomorrow you can show me the poems you wrote? That would be nice."

"Of course darling" Arthur placed his smirk right on the spot he knew so well, placing one kiss after another, one as gentle as the other.

You thought about the unwritten poetry and what he might write for you.

But for now his lips on your skin was the most beautiful poem ever written.

[prettywordsyouleft]

Becoming Human - Chapter 21

Previous Chapters:  1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20

_________________________

When I woke up again, I knew Leo was gone. I didn’t go through the stages as I had before; I was numb from fear. The look he had in his eyes as I fought and failed to avoid sleep had followed me into my dreams, depicting an enraged Leo taking on the science lab at the office and destroying everything. Would he really be that out of control? I knew he was capable of doing a lot more than a human could. He was made of the best software and engineering in AI robotics. A normal Kboy was trained to not show any harm to humans or their surroundings.

But Leo wasn’t like the others.

My mind slipped back to the night he found out about my incident and how he passed out from the sheer control of resisting an outburst. Could he be somewhere in this world offline from the overwhelming emotions he was feeling?

I felt helpless as I laid there trying to figure out what to do. And after seeing Leo’s phone purposely left on the bedside table, I knew things were worse than I could hope for. I couldn’t help Leo alone. Scrambling around to find my phone, I unlocked it and dialled my most used number.

“Gunhee,” I managed to say when the call connected, biting at my chapped lips a little. “We have trouble.”

“Yerin, it’s after eleven, why are you ringing me?” I could hear the sleepiness in his voice but the idea that it was that late and Leo wasn’t home yet bothered me further. I got up out of bed and began trying to find clothes in the darkened room.

“Leo, he knows.”

The sharp inhale of his breath seemed to waken his senses entirely. “You promised you wouldn’t tell him!”

“I’m only human, I didn’t say it with my own mouth initially either, and you and I both know Leo is able to read our emotions better than we think he can,” I protested, flinging my legs through a pair of sweats that I couldn’t tell belonged to me or Leo until I was having to tighten the waistband. “I was sick and he left when I was asleep. You haven’t seen him today at all, have you?”

Gunhee groaned and I could tell he was rubbing at his face in frustration. “I saw him earlier and he asked me if he could trust me or not. I didn’t know what he meant and I told him of course, that I was always honest with him. He must think the absolute worst by now.”

“Gunhee,” I started, my voice shaking as the panic surged within me. “You don’t think he’s done something bad, right?”

“Of course not, he’s a robot trained to respect our world.”

“Except we all didn’t show him respect,” I mentioned, throwing a hoodie over my head and left my room to go fetch my purse. “Leo has a temper.”

“He has a what?”

“He can experience anger, he’s just very good at suppressing it. But with the look in his eyes that I saw-”

“I’ll be there in five.” The call was disconnected and I hurried to put on my shoes before leaving the apartment, making my way out into the lobby and waiting for Gunhee to show up. Although I knew it was only minutes that I waited, it felt like I stood there for eternity until his car appeared outside.

Running out the doors and right into the passenger seat, Gunhee barely waited for me to close the door before he took off again, a grim expression on his face. His knuckles were white on the steering wheel as he navigated the late night traffic. “You look like shit, and why didn’t you tell me he showed anger before? Was it at you?”

“Didn’t it show up on his records?” Gunhee shook his head at my question and I sighed. “It was over something I need to talk to you about when this isn’t the biggest issue in our lives. That’s odd though, in that moment he must’ve not recorded anything.”

“I trust in you that you’ll tell me when it’s right. Do you have any leads on what he’d do?”

“Last time he just collapsed from holding back.” I grimaced when Gunhee cursed and smacked at the steering wheel. “But I don’t think he’s going to hold back this time.”

“We’ll try the lab first,” he decided and the rest of the ride to Kboys Headquarters was tense and silent. We took the elevator up to the floor we needed, walking through the darkened hallways with a quickened pace until Gunhee used his swipe key to get into the locked down science lab. The lights were out but I could see the faint glow of the multitude of Kboys lined up in the main floor below. They all seemed untouched and my heartbeat eased a little finding no massacre in sight. Gunhee however was frantic, using his long legs to his ability and powering on ahead. Despite being weakened from my emotions and sickness, I managed to jog to keep up with him as he ran down the stairs and over to a room I had never been in.

When I made it to the door I gasped, finding Leo on the floor beside a wall lined with technology that I knew had to be important. Obviously, Gunhee would have guessed Leo wouldn’t use physical strength when he knew of this hub of information was more vital than any Kboy out there.

Leo glanced up at us with darkened eyes, barely smiling at our arrival. Gunhee cursed again as he edged forward. “Leo you didn’t-”

“All the information on your research is held within these backup devices, right? If the office suffers a blackout, the generators keep this information alive. But if someone or something were to manually destroy this system, Kboys would face a huge impact.” He looked up at the doctor when he referred to himself as something lesser than man, his face contorting up with pain. “I thought about attacking all those robots out there that you plan to base off of my mind. I could do it too, quite easily. The temptation was strong.”

Leo got up and Gunhee, despite being taller, looked tiny beside him. Leo sighed heavily. “But I remembered helping you in here the other week, hyung. It would be more devastating if I ruined this entire system.”

“L-Leo,” Gunhee started, and I was startled to see my best friend begin to shake. “You didn’t, y-you-”

“Then I thought about how much work you have all done. How many customers this company has. How many people are employed and rely on having a job here, Yerin included. It’s a curse having a moral compass. How humanlike of such a robot, don’t you think?”

Leo stepped around Gunhee then, coming over to collapse against me as my friend rushed to check that the systems hadn’t been messed around with. I held onto his frame as best as I could but his weight against my weakened body made us both slip to the ground, Leo grabbing me tightly as he buried into me.

“I’m sorry,” I repeated over and over, rubbing at his back as he struggled to remain calm. “I didn’t know how else to cope with it. Please don’t ever run away from me like this again.”

“Don’t give up on me then,” he pleaded from inside my embrace, and I choked back on a sob as I looked up at my best friend and what he and his department had started. I could see the guilt coursing through him as he breathed heavily from finding everything untouched.

Humans were far too cruel, and we were teaching Leo just how bad we could be.

  Despite Leo’s lack of faith in Gunhee, he allowed him to pick us up and drive us to work the next day, my cold easing off enough that I felt like I didn’t need to take another sick day. And whilst Gunhee was more apprehensive than usual, he still tried to make conversation with Leo on the way there, and Leo responded to everything he said. I knew deep down, beyond the betrayal Leo was feeling, he knew Gunhee wasn’t a bad person.

It gave me immense anxiety to leave my boyfriend and best friend to travel alone together though, heading into the call center on edge and bumping into Daniel in the process.

“Oh Yerin-noona, are you alright?!” he cried, helping me upright before I fell and genuinely scanning over me to ensure I was okay. I smiled lightly at him and he grinned after completing his evaluation. “You are fine. Although you were sick yesterday and I can see the adverse signs from that. Would you like me to make you some camomile tea?”

“Actually why don’t you make two, Daniel-ah. Bring them into my office, won’t you?” We both glanced towards Younha, Daniel smiling brightly at her before leaving me to follow my boss into her office. After sitting down, and asking simple questions about my health, she finally asked what I knew was on the tip of her tongue. “That Leo bot we see around the building, he’s yours isn’t he?”

“Not… officially,” I stated weakly, her eyebrows hiking up a little at my vague answer. I sighed, feeling the urge to share everything with her in that moment but knowing the experiment was deemed classified made me hesitate.

“I assumed it was something you couldn’t talk about, given how Doctor Jung has been investing a lot of attention in you of late,” Younha said with a sigh, fiddling with some papers on her desk. “However, I feel like you need someone out of the situation, who understands the complexity of loving a Kboy to talk to. Is that something you’d like?”

I was nodding before I realised it, and soon the journey I had been on so far tumbled out of my mouth with more ease than I expected it to. 

_________________________

Next chapter

A/N: Leo’s suffering is hard, but I think both Gunhee and Yerin now realise the consequences and how entangled their lives and feelings are with him. And now we have Younha being involved too. Will we see some progress towards saving Leo now?! 

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[very-sleepy-wizard]

Warm Touch

Jack Kline X Reader fluff

Word count: 1237

Warnings: a bit of swearing,thats all 

“Ahhhhh” you groaned in pain while clutching your stomach,turning in bed for what felt like the milionth time. The warm cuddly blankets laying on you suddenly became too warm ending in you throwing them off the bed violently and shuffling around trying desperately to get comfortable. 

Giving up a few minutes later you floped on your back and sighed.

“Why must I go through this,what did I do to deserve this? Periods are bullshit” A new wave of cramps washed over you making you once again curl in a ball on your bed untill it would go away. And then repeating,all night. The pills you took no longer worked so you were left to suffer About 3 waves of pain later you cried out in mostly anger and frustration. Regretting it when you realized the sound was too loud and one of the boys probably heard you “fuck” you whisper sighed to yourself and soon enough there was a gentle knock on your door and a soft worried voice following it,asking if everything was alright. You lit up with happiness and relief inside when you realised it was jack. The pure innocent Jack who wouldn’t know awkwardness if it punched him in the face. Because if you had to explain your pain to one of your brothers it would definitely be awkward. 

Exhaling your pain away you got up and opened the door,giving Jack the best smile you could. “Everything’s alright Jack,thank you for checking on me” “Are you sure? You sounded as if you were in pain” “Well..” you flinched and furrowed your brows at a new wave hit you,grabbing your abdomen like always. Jack registered your distress and reluctantly reached a hand out,but stopped letting it hover in the space between you two as he was unsure of what to do,you grabbed his hand and pulled him into your room,closing the door quietly not wanting to risk waking and bringing anyone else into this. Your legs felt weak as you fought trough your pain,for a bit of relief you leaned against the door,Jack watching you with a deep worried expression plastered on his features. “Y/N are you sick?” “No jack it’s..it’s not that” “Can you tell me what it is? Can I help you?” “Well there isn’t much you can do,but I guess I can explain to you what it is” jack nodded,eager to know but still worried and serious towards the situation. You zombie walked yourself to your bed and sat down patting the empty space next to you,Jack got the idea and sat down as well. “You see what im going through right now,its normal it happens to every woman” Well almost,there is definitely cases where girls don’t get their periods due to medical issues,but you weren’t really sure about that topic and it would make everything more confusing for Jack so you settled on the most simple explanation you could muster. Yes definitely the best option. Jack urged you on with a nod. “You see there is this process that happens in a girls body every month,it allows the girl to get pregnant,I assume you know what that means” Jack nodded again ,listening to you very carefully,his gaze being so focused on you made you blush a little but you ignored it. “But if the girl doesn’t get pregnant then her body gets rid of what it created in that cycle,make sense?” Jack waited a few seconds,processing the information “Yes,the human body is designed to do that and women can’t control it right? Its a natural process?” “Yes,and the way the body gets rid of those things is quite painful and it leaves a wound in the uterus which takes a few days to heal,in those days the girl will experience pain and bleeding,but it’s not fatal so nothing to worry about” “But you are suffering,that’s not fair” “I know,we just accept it eventually,there is things that can help at least” “Are you in pain right now?” Jack asked,his tone sounding sad and a little hurt You sighed,tired and,indeed,in pain “Yeah..” Jack reached his hand out to you and placed it on your lower abdomen where you were grabbing at in pain earlier,his hand was warm,it made you blush but also relieved some pain. You looked up at him,he looked as if he was concentrating. Was this another reflex? You got your answer when Jack’s eyes lit up a beautiful gold,their light filling the small space between you in the dark room. Slowly relaxing into his thouch you felt your pain melt away. You sighed in well deserved relfief. “What was that?”  You smiled and chuckled at Jack

“I don’t know,did I hurt you?” Jack looked up worried he did something wrong

“No! no you..did the opposite,you took my pain away”

His eyes lit up “Really?” Jack sounded very proud of himself,and you were too “Yup,seriously Jack I can’t thank you enough for this” You wrapped your arms around him pulling him in for a hug. He seemed shocked at the affection but soon returned it. You stayed like that in a comfortable silence,unknowingly comforting eachother trough that hug,silently,for everything the other needed. And Jack really needed a hug,he felt needed and proud of himself for the first time in a while since he’d been born. Once you parted Jack smiled at you,but he seemed a little sad at the same time. “I guess I should go now” he stood up “Wait” you called after him in almost a reflex,you really didn’t want to be alone tonight Jack looked at you with a hopefull look,you guessed he didn’t want to be alone either. “You can stay if you want,I don’t mind” “Really?” he shot you that pure innocent smile that made you want to hug him again that instant,this boy was too innocent for his own good. You picked up the covers off of the ground,silently apologising for being cruel to them minutes earlier,and drapped them back over the bed. Jack quickly made himself comfortable followed by you. You were both facing each other,you closed your eyes,going to sleep but after a few minutes of silence you heard Jack speak up. “Y/N..can I hug you?” “You mean cuddle?” Jack furrowed his brows in confusion “What is that?” You smiled at his adorableness and reached your hand out,brushing a few rebel strands of golden hair out of his face,the gesture made him smile in return. “Its basically when two people hug,but they are laying down” “Oh,I think I understand” Jack wrapped his arms around you,before pulling you into him he stopped for a second,making sure you were okay with it,you nodded and he proceeded to pull you into his arms. Jack was radiating warmth,he was even more comfortable than your blanket. Your head was resting against his chest,and you could feel his heart beating. You melted into Jacks warm embrace and fell asleep almost instantly.Bless this nougat boy.

[ohsweetkiwi]

Dr Styles Part Two

Read part one HERE

“ Good, I want notes on what happened in the surgery and what could have changed the outcome in Mrs O’hare’s file in an hour” he curtly spoke before exiting the room, the sudden realisation that Dr Harry Styles had the inability to make or break your career, and despite your major crush and the sweetness you had just encountered, it had dawned on you that ,this precise moment could give him reason to end your career.

Seeing Harry around the hospital the week after the surgery was awkward, you had to work with him for the full week after, he gave you the worst cases to do almost as punishment. You’d done rectal exams, cleaned up vomit, stitched up wounds and hadn’t seen the inside of an operating room since. You were exhausted by weeks end, it was like he was trying to run you down, everyone else was getting the best cases, your friend Jess had helped remove a bullet from the muscle around the heart and another friend George had got to cut a tumour out of a lung. Today was your last day on his service, and despite still loving him more than you would like to after what he’s put you through, you were thankful to move on to another doctor. Your day had turned for the worse when Dr Styles had you work with him on a child, Maisey with heart failure, among with inoperable tumours in her lungs he had given her a week to live 9 days ago, and as a surgical intern you knew she wouldn’t make it to the end of your shift. You knew why he put you onto the cause with him, you hated him for it, he wanted to test you just like he said he would, your day consisted of making the young girl comfortable and making sure she had no pain.

“ Dr Y/L/N, I trust yeh will be capable to see this case through to the end, we cant have a repeat of our previous case” Harry spoke as the two of you stood in an X-ray room looking over films of Maisey’s heart and lungs. “ Of course Dr Styles, last time was a mistake, a shock to the system it wont happen again” you wanted to be a bitch and say something snarky, but that would help his case if he were to decide you were incompetent. “ Im sorry if yeh think I’ve been cruel, it’s my job to asses yeh and make yeh into an excellent surgeon, that means I have to make sure yeh can handle every situation” he spoke and you rolled your eyes. “So you had me do rectal examinations? Im a 3rd year intern I should be in surgeries and not in the ER doing 1st year interns jobs, I haven’t seen the inside of an operating room for a week unlike everyone else and you know I should be in there” you spoke your voice dripping with sarcasm and annoyance. “ Yeh’re smart Y/N and yeh know it, yeh’ve been allowed run rings around yehr classmates at other hospitals because of it, because everyone knew yeh were smart and in doing so yeh’ve become distracted and sloppy because yeh’re not the smartest in the room here, so I put yeh in scut and first years job to remind yeh, yeh’re a surgeon. Be a surgeon not some brat who whinges about not being in the operating room, or havin to do her job of looking after patients or cries when a patient dies. Get yourself together and be a surgeon”

You stayed quiet for the next few hours, you didn’t need to piss him off even more and you guess you deserved it, he’s your superior and you should have shut your mouth.The way he spat the words at you with such venom and anger is what really shocked you more than the words themselves, you hated that he was right and you hated even more that he used it to belittle you.   You sat in the cafeteria eating while you listened to everyones stories about cool surgical cases they got to see while you were waiting for a child to die. You hated that this was going to happen, that there was nothing left to do for her which made you feel helpless especially when her small body just laid in a bed all day unable to go outside without the chances of cardiac arrest. You had studied this case when you first moved to this hospital, she had lived longer than anyone had expected thanks to Dr Styles and he had done everything in his power to help her but unfortunately there was nothing else to be done.

You were sitting outside her room at around 9pm, watching and monitoring, she sat looking out the window it was snowing, very lightly but enough to have her captivated. Dr Styles had just finished talking to her parents to let them know they should prepare themselves, that the next few hours would be it, they didn’t cry much to your disbelief, they’d been doing this long enough they were immune to the pain. You tried to distract yourself from the family in front of you by updating all of Harry’s patient charts doing anything but looking at him or them not wanting to break down again, which you knew would be happening when you were home. “ When was the last time she had morphine?” Harrys voice broke through the silence of the hospital. “ With her dinner, it was enough to make her comfortable for when it happens” you replied turning to look at him, he had a frown on his face it caused little creases between his eyebrows. You realised how hard this must be for him, he’d been with this Maisey for a year and he’d now done everything in his powers and it still wasn’t enough. “ Go get a wheelchair and portable oxygen” he spoke standing up and grabbing the hospital brand jackets that sat behind the nurses station. “ What for? Where is she going?” You asked as he handed you a jacket before walking towards her room. “ No time, move it”

“ Harry what the hell are we doing?” You whisper yelled at him as you held an oxygen tank while he pushed the wheelchair down the hall towards the elevator while the Maisey’s parents followed behind. “ She hasn’t seen the anything but these hospital walls in months, I’m not lettin her die without seeing the snow” His words shocked you as you all descended to the ground floor to the hospital. Part of you wanted to be mad about how he had spoken to you today, but all you could think of was his kindness and what he was doing for this little girl.There was a patch of grass just outside the lobby doors, the hospital sat on a hill overlooking the city and from where Harry had placed the wheelchair she had a view of the entire city and the snow that was leaving a light dusting over everything. The two of you sat on the bench behind the family allowing them to savour every moment in private, neither of you spoke a word, you didn’t know what to say so you sat in silence.

An hour later Harry called time of death after Maisey died in her sleep with her parents in the snow, not in a hospital bed hooked up to all the machines. You were the one who had to confirm the words to her parents, on the first day on medical school your taught that even if the family knows their loved one was dead you had to say the words to leave no room for questions, you spoke to the parents and held their hands as they cried while Harry personally accompanied the child’s body to the morgue, something surgeons, especially of Harrys rank didn’t do often.

Your shift had finished a few hours ago so you made your way towards an on call room to give yourself a breather before you left for the night. You opened the door and immediately stopped in your tracks when you saw Dr Styles sitting on one of the beds head in hands his palms digging into his eyes as he swore. “ Im sorry, I didn’t know anyone was in here” you backed away from the door ready to leave. “ Its fine, stay” he spoke quietly looking up at where you stood, his eyes were puffy and tired from the countless hours he had been at the hospital. “ What you did for Maisey and her family was beautiful” you whispered before walking into the room a little more before closing the door. “ It’s the least I could do, I spent the last year cutting into her and filling her body with drugs” he spoke the words with pain and you saw him brush away a tear. “ She would’ve been dead months ago if you hadn’t done those things” you moved closer now and sat next to him, you were pushing the boundaries, this is what got you in trouble last time, but you were so in love with this man you couldn’t help it. “ She was a child” his voice broke and you could see the tears streaming down his face freely now, your heart broke as you reached for his hand a placed it between two of yours. He started letting out small little sobs as he continued to try and swat away tears and his chest heaved with sobs. “ She was a fuckin kid” he swore before you pulled him into you allowing his face to rest between your neck as you rubbed his neck shushing him he wrapped his arms around your body pulling you down onto the bed until you were laying underneath him as his sobs slowed.

You didn’t know how long you laid like that Harrys head on your chest while you drew patterns in his back trying hard not to drift in and out of sleep. He lifted his head up and looked at you, his eyes even prettier than usual after crying “ Im tough on yeh because yeh’re gonna be a great surgeon” he spoke his lips puffy and pink you nodded in reply running your hand through his hair thats often covered by scrub caps. “ This whole week I’ve avoided yeh after seeing yeh in that OR I haven’t been able to get yeh outta my head” he spoke and you looked at him in surprise. “ I’ve been angry at you at all week, thought you put me on this case to test me, to see if you could break me” you spoke wearily meeting your eyes with his. “ I put yeh on this case because I needed yeh to be here for me like I was for yeh” you nodded back at him before gently moving forward to press your lips together, your heartbeats became quicker before pulling away a grin on your face. Harry leaned in this time and deepened the kiss pushing you back onto the bed and hovering above you, your hands made their way into his hair pulling his body forcibly against yours as his hands made their way underneath your scrubs. The two of you were breathless his shirt was off and yours followed soon after, you flipped over and were straddling him placing kisses along his chest the two of you giggling like children.   “ Dr Styles!” the two of you pulled apart in shock at the sudden interruption, both of your eyes moving to the source, you let out a gasp before pulling your scrubs to cover your chest. Dr Webber the chief of Surgery, yours and Harry’s boss stood at the door arms folded with a scowl on his face. “ My office both of you, now!”

Thank you for reading,I  hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing! please reblog if you like it, it really helps my blog. Im also taking requests so send me what you want to see x