#but yeah look 2 doomed relationships but what makes them different???

[nightmanatee]

"i have loved being with you, yaz" "clara-", "everything you're about to say i already know"

[theemissuniverse]

Okay, okay, so I read the Shao Kahn fic for the first time earlier (I was avoiding it because I’ve never liked Shao Kahn), and now I’m genuinely questioning things about myself. He’s such a smug bitch and I’m ??? attracted to that?? (part 1 had me choking on my drink when it got to the NSFW part) All in all, extremely well-written, phenomenal characterization, I love how sassy the reader is because I actually see myself in them (I’m sick and tired of the timid, excessively submissive “I’m not like other girls” Y/N, so it’s a nice change of pace) also, the bits with Mileena were cute as hell. It made me think of-

Y/N: Alright, listen up, you motherfuckers. Not you, Mileena. You’re doing great and I’m glad you’re here.

But yeah, thank you for the food. I am now questioning my absolute loathing for Shao Kahn.

“IMPENDING DOOM” SHAO KAHN X FEM!READER PART 3

here’s part 1

here’s part 2

A/N : thank you! I’m glad that I’ve impressed the majority with you with this series! This is something I really like because it’s different

WARNINGS : (MDNI) thigh riding, praising, cumming

MASTERLIST 1 , MASTERLIST 2

Questioning your relationship with Shao Kahn took place at an everyday occurrence. It was something that ran through your mind at a constant rate.

He was the cruel tyrant awaiting to conquer all realms. Not when he was with you though. Everything was different.

The way he acted around you, the way he treated you, the way he’d constantly make an effort for you.

It gave you…butterflies?

You had to of been ill. There was no way in the very depths of Outworld that you could ever fall for a man like Shao Kahn. It was uncanny.

You were in the dining hall, seated by yourself. You constantly tried to lift the fork that was sitting on the table. You managed to lift it at a great height until your magic gave up on you and it fell on the table. You sighed.

Someone had pulled up a chair to sit next to you. It was Mileena. “Your telekinetic gift has grown. Perhaps it is my father’s doing?”

You rested your chin on your hand. “Unfortunately, I have to give it to him - I did not expect for me to grasp this so quickly.”

A presence was behind you. “I still cannot understand why the Emperor would choose such a weak woman.”

You didn’t have to turn around to see who it was. You knew it was Skarlet. “Thanks for the words of wisdom, Skar.” You stuck your thumb out sarcastically as a ‘thumbs up.’ “Always can count you, dude.”

Mileena turned to Skarlet, annoyed. “Don’t you have something better to do, vampire.”

Skarlet was offended by this. “I am no vampire, you failed Kitana clone.”

Mileena slammed her fist on the table and got up from her chair. “I am no clone!”

You got in between them. “Ladies. How bout we take five, yeah?”

The two of them stared down each other before Skarlet walked away. Mileena grumbled under her breath and crossed her arms.

You turned your attention back to Mileena. “Don’t worry about her. Let her be obsessed with her own father…or whatever Shao is to her.”

You sat down in your chair and continued to try and lift the fork into the air. Mileena just stared at you, curiously. “Do you really want to go through with the marriage?”

Pausing, you stared down at the fork. It was a valid question. You just didn’t have a valid answer. “I…don’t know.”

“My father is a lot of things but…he would never actually force you to do anything. If he’s doing all this then that means he knows that deep down, your heart desires it.”

The statement struck you. Because it was at least slightly true. Especially what Shang Tsung had told you. You were tired of being third best. You wanted to be the best.

Shao Kahn could give you that.

Were you starting to become the very villain you feared? All because you adored power?

Mileena walked away from you and you continued to sit there, getting tangled into your thoughts.

Hours had passed by and you were in your room. You were busy reading your book. The door had opened. You didn’t have to bother looking up. “Made anyone cry today?”

Shao Kahn rested his hammer on a chair not far from the door. “No but it’s only 3 in the afternoon.” He said, making you snicker. He took his red cape off and hung it on a nearby wall. “How was your day today?”

“We are not doing the husband and wife, asking each other about our days fiasco.” When you had said it, Shao Kahn uttered a laugh.

“What do you suggest we talk about then?”

“I don’t know. World hunger? Poor people? Anything else.”

Shao Kahn made his way towards the bathroom. He turned the water on for his bath. “Remind me to kill Reiko.”

The statement caught you off guard. You brought your head from your book and looked over to him. “Should I even ask why?”

Shao Kahn walked out of the bathroom and to the dresser where the big mirror was. He started to take off his rings. “He was in my chambers trying on my crown.”

“Damn. Dude might have a death wish.”

“And I will grant him that.”

You thought about it for a moment. You decided to test him. To see if you truly had that much control over Shao as you thought and everyone else did.

You clicked your tongue to the roof of your mouth. “Why don’t you ease up on Reiko?”

“Why do you ask or care about that?”

You closed your book and sat up on the bed. Shao Kahn did not turn to face you as he took every ring off his fingers. “I mean, he’s a great soldier. And he only tried on your crown because he admires you so much. It’d be a shame if all that loyalty would go to waste.”

Amazement wasn’t even the word. Shao Kahn was actually pondering on what you were saying. It took him a minute. “You are right. I will give him one more chance.”

You had done it. You actually convinced Shao to do something and actually not kill someone.

Shao walked back into the bathroom to stop the water. He walked back into the room and removed his crown before placing it back on the dresser.

“We will marry tomorrow night.”

Your eyes widen. You stood up from the bed and walked over to him. “Tomorrow? Isn’t that sudden?”

“I told you it would be soon.”

“Okay but like you didn’t say when so by definition, you telling me this is sudden.”

Shao brushed your comment off and started to unbuckle his pants. “You should join me.”

Last time he had asked you, you were annoyed. Bothered. But this time when he asked, you wanted to.

And god did you hate yourself for wanting to.

“Okay…but you have to keep your hands to yourself.”

Shao stopped in his tracks. He looked at you, a little stunned. He did not actually expect you to take on his offer but he was not complaining in the slightest. “You are asking me to do the impossible, my Empress.”

“Tuh.” You shoved past him a little, going to the bathroom. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll make it possible.”

Shao Kahn chuckled. He had always enjoyed your threats and you couldn’t begin to understand why.

He turned around so he was facing you. By that time you already had your whole evening gown off. You were unclipping your bra.

He watched as your bra fell to the ground. And then you took off your underwear.

This was the first time Shao had seen you naked and he had to admit, it was beautiful sight to see.

You were extremely gorgeous. Everything about you screamed beauty to him. He couldn’t help but get lost in all that was you.

You noticed his staring. You felt yourself get a little shy and you tapped your foot on the ground. “Stop staring at me like that.”

Shao didn’t break his gaze on you. “Like what?”

“Like you enjoy what you’re seeing.”

Shao Kahn broke out of his trance. He took some steps towards you. Very careful steps. The air was thick. It felt like you could cut the tension with a knife.

He made it to you face to face. As much as he wanted to touch you in all the right places, he’d respect what you had said. For now at least.

He lifted your chin up high so your eyes could meet his. “I do enjoy what I’m seeing.”

You hated it. You hated the way the tyrant made you feel. How could he of all people make you feel this way?

Your hands landed on his exposed chest. They rubbed all over slightly before then reaching to the buckle of his pants. You finished unbuckling his pants and when you did, his pants slid down with ease.

No eye contact was broken. You grabbed onto his underwear and slid them down as well. The two of you being completely naked.

“Shall we?” You asked.

Shao stared at you for some time before walking a little bit past you. He got in the tub on the right side, leaning back.

While his bathroom was huge, his tub felt like it was even bigger. Even with you going into the tub there would be a lot of space between you two.

You got in on the left side and sat down before leaning back. “Why do men like cold ass water when they bathe?” You questioned.

Shao gave you a look. “Cold? This is boiling hot.”

“No it is not. My grandma’s frying pan is hotter than this.”

When you said that, it made Shao Kahn laugh. A genuine laugh. You couldn’t help but bust out laughing yourself.

Shao Kahn wanted to appreciate the silence. He really did but he had a few things on his mind. “Why did you join the tournament? And how are you so close to Liu Kang and Kung Lao? You are no monk.”

You gasped sarcastically. “Really? I’m not a monk? Thanks Inspector Gadget.” Shao rolled his eyes playfully but didn’t say anything. You sighed a little. “I was living with my Grandma until I was seven. Someone raided the home and killed her. I lived on the street which felt like decades. Probably about three years. Then I met this one guy. Some thug was messing with him. The guy was a big guy too. Like a big ass guy.” Shao chuckled at the emphasis you put on it.

You tapped your finger on the side of the tub. “Well the big ass guy wasn’t having it. Not at all. He kicked his ass. And when I mean kicked his ass I mean…he really did a number on him. But the guy…this big ass dude didn’t fight him by the usual. Not a gun. Not no punch to the face or kick to the balls. He was…he was using everything. His hands, his feet, his head, everything.”

“So, I went up to him. I was like ‘that was cool! You gotta teach me that!’ He told me that I wasn’t ready. To come to him another time. He tried to walk away but I wouldn’t let him. I was like ‘please. Just tell me how you did that! I need to know! I don’t want to end up like my grandma!’ He turns to me and he goes ‘you really don’t know?’ Told him no. He told me that it was martial arts. But not just any. It was…it was to actually kill someone.”

“Told him my whole story. My parents dipped out on me, grandma died, and he took me in. His name was Master Bo’ Rai Cho.”

At the reveal, Shao Kahn couldn’t believe it. He gave you a look. “That drunken fool?”

“Yup. That’s where I met Liu Kang and then Kung Lao. That’s why we’re so close. I still don’t know why I was chosen to be in the tournament.”

“Because that fool Raiden saw something great.”

You scoffed. “Raiden. Yeah. He’s something.”

The relationship between you and Raiden had always been rocky. You felt like he favored Liu Kang and Kung Lao all the time.

He never believed in you and you’d guess you couldn’t blame him. It was only just now you were in tune with your telekinesis.

“How did you find out about your gift?”

“I was sixteen. I got angry at something. Can’t remember what. But all I saw was…anger and I threw Bo Rai Cho across the room using my mind. They say you usually gain abilities like that through trauma.”

Shao Kahn watched as you went from enjoying telling the story to complete sadness. It stung him a little that your mood could shift so easily.

He grabbed the bottle of soap and placed it on his hands. Then set the bottle down before then grabbing your right foot and rubbing in the soap on your leg. “Gifts such as that are a blessing and a curse.”

You let out a tired sigh. “More so a curse for me.” You played with the soap bottles that were sitting on the ledge. “Everybody has their own thing. Raiden is the God of Thunder. Liu Kang is the chosen one. Kung Lao is the descendant of a great champion. I’m just… me…”

Shao was actually taking in everything you had said. It was starting to make sense to him. As he knew you craved power, he just hadn’t known why.

“You’re going to be The Empress of Outworld. You beat them all in a landslide.”

You couldn’t help but smile at little. Usually you’d argue with him. That you never wanted to do this. That this was all done by force but for some reason now when he said it, it felt right.

Standing up in the water, Shao watched you. He wasn’t expecting for you to go over to his side. You turned your body around and then sat down in the water before leaning your back against his chest.

Shao Kahn was pleasantly surprised but he wouldn’t make that known. He didn’t want you to get up from him. He grabbed the soap bottle and placed some soap in his hands. Then he set the bottle down and began to rub the soap in your back.

You hummed a little at the feeling of his hands on your body. His hands were rough but he made sure to rub softly in your back.

He washed your back with the water until there was no more soap. His hands were clean of soap.

Shao’s hands started to run along your body. Especially at your breasts. He was waiting for you to object but you didn’t.

You moaned at his touches and sat even further back on him. He played with your nipples and cupped your breasts like they belonged to him.

Something came over you. You couldn’t help it. You turned your head around to kiss Shao but he had stopped you.

He placed a finger on your lips. “I want to save that for tomorrow night.”

You were a little shocked. Shao Kahn had more self control then you did.

You turned your head back and allowed Shao Kahn to continue to massage all over your body.

Like you were made for him.

Later on, everyone had disappeared as tomorrow was a busy day.

You didn’t have anything to do. Shao Kahn just told you to show up to the wedding and look pretty.

Bored out your mind with everyone gone, you decided to do some snooping around the palace.

Nothing changed much. You couldn’t find anything that you didn’t see before.

That was until you found a door.

There was something eerie about the door. You couldn’t describe it. Something just told you to open it.

And you opened it.

When opening the door, you walked in further. There were stairs.

You went down the stairs where you could hear cries for help and screams of agony. It disturbed you.

Making it to the very bottom, you saw people were in prison cells. That or they were chained. You were shocked.

Most of the people were monsters or were in mutated form. Besides one.

You walked closer to the woman. She was a black woman with glowing eyes. Her hair was black, straight, and in a bob. Her outfit was completely yellow.

You had wondered what the woman could’ve possibly done for her to end up down here.

She noticed your presence. She immediately stood up from the ground and hurried to you in an instant. She of course was stopped by the cell. “Please! You have to help me! I’ll do anything! I’m good for it! Tell the Kahn that I’m good for it! My name is Tanya.”

You tilted your head at the woman. You were no fool. There was something about her that didn’t seem so innocent.

You leaned against the wall and motioned with your hand for her to talk. “Well, Tanya you might want to convince me as to why I should let you go. It’s kinda creepy down here and I want to bounce.”

“Shao Kahn slaughtered everyone when he raided Edenia. He had only kidnapped a few of us. Now, I am not sure where the rest of my people are. And I don’t care. I just want out of here.”

Tanya pauses as she takes a good look at you. “You are not from Outworld.”

“How’d you figure that one out?”

“You do not talk as if you are from Outworld. Also, everyone in Outworld knows not to come down here. They are afraid of what Shao Kahn might do to them. You must be from Earthrealm.”

“Ding-ding-ding! We have a winner!” You said sarcastically. You stopped leaning on the wall and walked closer to her cell. “My name is (Y/N). And I don’t think he’s gonna do much to me. He’s got a soft spot for me.”

Tanya’s eyes widen at this. “An Earthrealmer? I had not predicted Shao Kahn would fall for one.”

“Story of my life. Still haven’t really convinced me as to why I should put myself in jeopardy to release you.”

“I am loyal! I will serve the Kahn of Outworld. Please. You have to convince him.”

You thought about it for a moment. You were going to be with Shao Kahn whether you liked it or not. You mind as well get something out of it.

“You will not.” You told her. “You will serve me. I am to be the Empress of Outworld tomorrow night.”

Tanya could not believe that. “An Earthrealmer being an Empress? Shao Kahn must be love struck.”

“Trust me, I’m banging my head against the wall about it. Know this though, do not underestimate me for being an Earthrealmer. Do not think you can cross me.”

“I would never, Empress.”

You gave her one final look as if to really see if this was worth it. You then shrugged at it. What was the worse Shao could do to you?

“Stand back.”

Tanya listened to your command and walked away from the bars on the cell. You stared at the bars. You concentrated everything with your mind. You then ended up destroying the bars with your mind.

Tanya looked at you in amazement. “I have never seen an Earthrealmer with so much power.”

“I’m a hat full of tricks.” You grabbed Tanya’s hand and helped her out of the cell. “Come on.”

You brought her upstairs. Then made sure to close the door behind you.

When you turned around, you saw Shao Kahn sitting in the dining area with Shang Tsung, Reiko, Skarlet, and Mileena.

You motioned for Tanya to follow you. Shao turned into your direction and when he had seen you with Tanya, his face twisted with confusion and anger.

You spoke before he would get the chance.

“She already pledged her allegiance to me so don’t go out on a villain monologue on why she needed to stay down there. She’ll prove she’s worthy. And if she doesn’t…simply end her. You can’t always scare your way into people following you. You wanted an Earthrealm Empress. This how we deal with things in Earthrealm.”

Shao stayed silent as he heard your explanation. The others awaited to for his anger to combust. For him to get rowdy with you but he did not. He stayed silent.

When Skarlet had seen this, she immediately stood up from her seat. “Emperor, she made a decision without consulting you! She puts this whole empire at risk for the generosity that she shows!”

“Oh?” You questioned her. “Was it not generosity when Shao Kahn took you off the streets and taught you blood magic?” You turned to Mileena. “Was it not generosity for Shao Kahn making Shang Tsung give you life?” You turned to Reiko. “Was it not generosity that saved your ass from death because he had listened to me instead of himself?” You finally turned to look at Shang Tsung. “Was it not generosity for him to give your old ass life and now you don’t look like a dying raisin anymore.”

You turned back to Shao that looked like he was pondering on your words. “Is this not generosity? Taking me in? Treating me like I am your own? Is that not what this is? Call me weak if you want to but you’re the one that wanted a weak woman.”

Shao Kahn stayed silent. Skarlet had seen he was really siding with you. “Emperor I-“

Shao lifted his hand up to stop her from speaking. “You are far from weak, (Y/N).” He put his hand down. “You are going to be the new Empress. You are free to do or make any decisions as you please.”

The tyrant actually supported you? Now everyone had seen everything.

“Join us for dinner.”

Tanya bent down to whisper in your ear. “I am amazed at how much of a soft spot he has for you.”

You snickered a little. “I told you.”

You and Tanya took your seats. When you were sat down, Shao Kahn spoke to Reiko. “Reiko. Thank (Y/N) as without her you would not be alive.”

Reiko turned his attention towards you. “Thank you, Empress.”

You shrugged some while eating. “It’s whatever.”

Everyone heard plates clatter and turned to see Skarlet aggressively slam her fork down and walk away.

Shao Kahn rolled his eyes at her behavior. “She is always a brat.”

You shook your head and continued eating your food, wondering how much longer Skarlet’s behavior towards you would go on.

It was late at night. You and Shao Kahn were getting ready for bed. He was sitting at the edge of the bed rubbing lotion all over his body.

You were at the dresser, taking off your earrings and necklace.

You wanted to fight the feeling you had toward him. Everything in your being was screaming to not fall for the man but you couldn’t help it.

The way he stuck up for you in front of everyone was not only kind of him but was extremely sexy to you.

You felt the wetness between your thighs form. You bit your lip slightly as you tried to push away those thoughts.

“Thank you. For sticking up for me back there.”

Shao didn’t bother to look up to you. “I trust if that Edenian betrays you, she will be dealt with.”

“Of course.”

“Then I don’t care what you do.”

You finished taking all your jewels off and turned to look at him. He was shirtless and had his boxers on while he lotions his body.

You licked your lips. You tried to fight off all of the thoughts that ran through your head.

But you couldn’t. You were only human.

You walked over to Shao Kahn and stood before him. Shao looked up at you and your eyes meet.

You sit on his lap and kiss all over his neck. Shao Kahn groaned in pleasure. He threw the lotion aside and his hands clung on to your back.

Luckily for you, you had were in your night gown. You rode your nightgown up where your underwear was seen.

You placed your clothed clit onto his thigh and began to go back and forth on him. You moaned out in pleasure.

Shao Kahn licked his lips at the sight and held onto your hips as you rode his thigh. He made sure to help you go back and forth at a steady pace.

You moaned loudly. His thigh was perfect for you to ride. It was big and bold. You didn’t have to do much moving for constant pleasure to hit your clit.

“This is what I like to see.” He told you. His right hand slid on your ass and gave it a grip before smacking it. You moaned. “Keep going until you cum all over my thigh. I want you to make a mess on me.”

You held on tightly. Your arms wrapped around his neck and you focused moving on him up and down. Shao Kahn bounced his thigh slightly so he could meet with your force.

“Oh god, yes.”

Shao Kahn ripped your entire night gown apart and immediately attached his lips on your right breast. You gasped at the feeling of his tongue colliding with your nipple.

You continued moving on him back and forth, closing your eyes in the process. Shao played with your other breast. You clawed at his back and he only groaned in pleasure as a response.

Shao pulled away from your breasts and watched you ride his thigh. Your head was swinging back in pleasure. He brought your chin down and made you look at him in the eyes. “Look at me. I want to watch you fall apart.”

You hesitantly opened your eyes and there Shao Kahn was looking at you, awaiting for you to cum all over his thigh. “It feels so good.” Shao placed his hands on your hips and moved you faster on his thigh. “Oh god. Oh my god.”

“Like this?”

“Yes. Please. Oh my god. I’m so close.” You felt your eyes about to close again but you forced them open knowing he would be mad if you closed them.

The two of you looked in each others eyes as you inched closer to your release. “I’m cumming. Oh Shao please let me cum. Please. Please.”

“That’s right. Cum on me, my Empress. Let it all out.”

You continued to hump on his thigh. He bounced his leg a little to meet you halfway. You clawed on his arm. You were about to throw your head back but he grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him.

“Oh yes. Yes. I’m cumming. I’m cumming.”

Shao Kahn helped you ride your orgasm out as you continued to spit out incoherent sentences. He made you finish completely on his thigh.

You took in a deep breath when you were done. “What did I do to deserve such a gift?” He questioned.

You chuckled slightly. “I just felt like it.” He began to kiss your neck softly and you moaned at his touches. “Stop before I make another bad decision.”

“I like your bad decisions.”

You moaned more when he sucked on your sweet spot but he soon pulled away. He laid you down on the bed. Then he reaches over to turn off the lamp.

The room was dark. He grabbed the blanket and placed it over the two of you. “Tomorrow you will be truly mine.”

Even after all this you still didn’t know if marrying him was the best idea.



[jennydwren]

My Arthur: Some Night Thoughts

In between the cancellation of The Acolyte (there's still hope, Clone Wars came back) and the premiere of Rings of Power S2 -- and I PROMISE you that each and every dudebro I blocked in these situations on the former bird app either had crypto in bio or a timeline that was entirely focused on a sports team... I mean, why not think about RDR2? I want to think what it means that so many players speak of MY Arthur, like we all have little pocket Arthurs as pets. "I like my Arthur to be a scary bad guy so I keep him shaved bald." "Well, my Arthur looks his best with Level 7 or 8 hair and a Level 1 or 2 beard." "This time I'm making sure that my Arthur has the best satchel and the Legend of the East outfit." "I always pamper my Arthur before a hard mission. I buy him a ribeye steak at a saloon, get him a bath, and let him sleep just one more night in a hotel. I feed him up to Overweight before Guarma and Chapter 6." "My Arthur is high honor. He would never do XYZ." "Oh yeah? I think my Arthur loves being low honor and beating the crap out of people." "Weird. My Arthur's favorite missions are the dinosaur bones." All of these Arthurs are different and yet the same. All of them are doomed. You have to rewind the timeline and go back to a Chapter 2 save to have a healthy Arthur who can chat and sing with his compadres at the campfire. Nobody's Arthur, until you take him out of the game and into some of the absolutely and utterly beautiful fanart and fanfics, can succeed with Mary Linton, or Charles for that matter. The R* canon Arthur is always doomed. What does it say about us that we can't bear to let go of him, even though his own dialogue tells us he clearly sees the writing on the wall as early as Chapter 1? Is it just the natural human abhorrence of the reality that we too will someday die without accomplishing all that we wanted to? I can relate. Big mood, Arthur. In fragmenting into all of these disparate Arthurs -- Roger Clark has pointed out more people own copies of the game than live in Ireland -- maybe that's how the egregore, the Arthur conjured from the collective consciousness of millions of individual players, stays alive. Many writers of fanfics want their Arthur to be theirs. Not just a rough fuck on daddy's kitchen counter, although I've read that story too, and not just the Not Enough Beds trope, though that too was a fine story. They want to smash Arthur because who doesn't? But they want him to love them, despite R* Arthur having not one single solitary relationship skill. This new Arthur teaches you to draw (the preponderance of Arthur fics I've read involve a "you" reader). Your wish that he address you as he does a mare, "That's mah good girl," comes resplendently true. Sometimes, such are the fix-him powers of You that You and he escape the gang before the name Thomas Downes can be uttered. Arthur's heart beats for You and You alone. Sometimes he protects You from danger. Sometimes he accepts a free sample of sponge cake from You in a bakery. All of these Arthurs go out Arthuring all over the wrong but familiar RDR2 America, often with You at their side. Sometimes You even find him on the cliffside before his rattling last breath, and drag him to safety and a warm, dry climate. One Arthur I read was even saved by a doctor in Mexico with the only available treatment of the period -- collapsing part of the lung -- and recovered fully, having four kids with Sadie Adler and saving most of the RDR world along the way.

You can have your Arthur and play him too. Indeed, a fresh shot of Roger Clark's bravura performance -- combined, as he is the first to point out, with the animators' work, for example giving him the most delicious lower lip -- compounds the infatuation should it threaten to recede.

People suffer profound grief over this game. Of course, it is their own grief from non-digital life: "It is Margaret you mourn for" -- Gerard Manley Hopkins. Perhaps the loss of their Arthur and the way his surviving friends gradually adjust to the loss helps people make room for the holes in their own lives. But that's the thing. That's the comfort at the bottom of the grief pit.

Because once you find your Arthur, including within yourself (I don't just mean cosplay, but I've seen people of all genders don the stained blue workshirt, the suspenders, the neckerchief, the goddamn hat, and wear Arthur on their bodies)... you can't ever really lose him. He changes you. And that may be the strangest and most wonderful thing you can say about a work of fiction.

Keep sharing your Arthurs. The chibis, the young Arthurs cradling poor Isaac or reading to child John Marston, the AUs, the low-honor black coyotes and the high-honor 14-point stags. Marthur, Charthur, Albert Mason x Arthur. All the versions of him. Because they're also You.

[swampstew]

Trafalgar Law, B-6 ~ Master/Servant

Summary: Part 3 to Trafalgar Law as a Fylgja: A supernatural being associated with fate, usually an omen of one’s impending doom, who can shapeshift - his favorite form is a Snow Leopard. You're his new little pet and this a little treat on how your life with Law would be.

Part 1 | Part 2 Author's note: This needs to the final part for Fylgja Law, I'm exorcising him from my brain space and back into the friendzone where he belongs (for me, Raven, personally.)

Warnings: Spicy, pet play kink, master/servant relationship, Monster Law, hybrid Law/leopard form. Adding dead dove in case people take issue with monster fucking/hybrid fucking or whatever. Word Count: 643

Law is quick to bring you into his home. He doesn’t mind you keeping the apartment if you want, but he wants you around at all times when he has the time to be home. Being a Fylgja and moonlighting as a surgeon means he seldom has down time. Any time he does, he wants to spend it with you.

When he’s gone, you do whatever you want to entertain yourself in his absence. You won’t need to work because his pay is phenomenal, but if you do its fine by him – so long as you wear a token of his ownership on you. A stunning golden choker with a dangling crystal heart charm. Never take it off unless you want to be in the doghouse.

You take care of his place when you’re under that roof, not because he expects you to but you do it anyways, and you always wear your cat ears – that’s the only rule. Your real catsuit only comes out whenever its play time. He loves shopping for you too, absolutely adores seeing you wear the outfits he buys.

He always starts by having you change into your ‘house’ outfit, the same outfit he gifted you that first day he made you his pet. He washes your hands and feet, drying them with a soft towel before slipping your gloves and socks on. He slips on your panties and bra and you admire the way he restrains himself when his eyes eat you up with a predatory gaze. If you give him a teasing look he’ll flick your cat ear and give your ass a slap. Law looks ravenous by the time he clips on your collar. Before he can indulge – can’t forget your tail plug.

Law will make you purr, hiss, mewl, and downright yowl with what he knows about the human body. He wasn’t an expert at first but when he figured out your cues he was on them like a hound. Loves taking care of his Kitten, in every single way. He saved you and now you’re all his so he wants to spoil and protect you.

He’ll fuck you however you want. Human form, hybrid form – he’s game for anything, he’ll make sure to never hurt you and heavily enforces safe words and check-ins to make sure you’re not lying to him or yourself about being in situations you may not enjoy. Enjoys watching you in the mirror, alone, with him, him making you pleasure yourself, he just loves watching you and watching himself fuck into you. It releases a deep growling that normally doesn’t come out during any other times you are together.

If you’ve ever in your life thought – I wish I could quit everything and become someone’s pet, Law’s the guy you want to be adopted by.

Also: the King of Aftercare. He knows that he’s rough sometimes, especially when he’s shapeshifted (oh yeah, he’ll appeal to your appetite if you want a different breed of cat. Or marine animal), so he performs medical care under the guise of aftercare but honestly you don’t mind it much. He disguises his prodding for discomfort as massaging your muscles, ‘stretching you for the next round’ to make sure nothing is broken or sprained, applies several kisses to remedy any scratches or bite, and teases you with playful snatching of comfort items to check for concussions or brain damage. He’s a natural worrier.

But then – the snacks he brings, taking charge of clean up, the vibe he sets to just hang out with you in post-sex comfort, making you laugh and feel cherished as he feeds you little bites and just talks with you. He might treat you like a plaything, a pet, but make no mistake, you’re his little house cat. He’s in it for life. Well, the rest of your life anyway.

13 tiles to go, 37 calls made so far.

[ynbabe]

Titans x Male reader

Dick: Every time I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.

Kory: Okay, but what is updog?

Rachel : Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.

Gar: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Jason: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

M/N: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

Dick: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Gar: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Rachel : No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

Kory: What’s a henway??

Dick: Oh, about five pounds.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Dick: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

Kory: What if it bites me and it dies!?

Rachel : Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Kory, learn to listen.

Gar: What if it bites itself and I die?

Jason: That’s voodoo.

M/N: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Kory: That’s correlation, not causation.

Gar: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Jason: That’s kinky.

Dick: Oh my God.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Dick: I CAN'T DO IT!

Kory, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!

Dick: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE

Rachel, saw them walking in: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.

Dick:

Dick: I appreciate it,

Dick: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-

Gar, was the man in the chair: Dick-

Dick: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!

Gar: Dick we gotta-

Dick: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.

Dick: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'

Dick, motioning to M/N and Jason covered in blood, standing in his room’s doorway like the shinning twins: NOT FUCKING THIS

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

*Jason is cooking*

M/N: Any chance that’s for me?

Jason: It’s for Gar. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need him on my side.

Kory, preparing the med bay: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

M/N: I just ended a two year relationship.

Jason: Oh, fuck. You good?

M/N: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship.

*Gar and Rachel fighting from across the room*

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Jason: Do you think different paints have different tastes?

Gar: They do.

M/N: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Jason: Come on, I wasn't that drunk last night.

Gar: You were flirting with M/N.

Jason: So what? He’s my boyfriend .

Gar: You asked him if he was single.

Jason:

Gar: And then you cried when he said he wasn’t.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Jason: What if mayonnaise came in cans?

M/N: Well, that would suck because you can't microwave metal.

Gar: DICK!!! M/N AND JASON ARE BEING WEIRD AGAIN

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Gar, trying a new recipie: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste

Jason, being a bastard: We got spring water

Gar: NO.

M/N, bastard^2 : with EXTRA minerals

Jason: it's like licking a stalagmite

Gar: DON'T COME HOME.

M/N: Mmmmm cave water

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Gar: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-

M/N: Awwww, you're so adorable! Give me a hug~

Gar: Wh- What? NO, YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-

Jason, recording: This is so cute.

GUYS!! I just rewatched Titans after a yearrrr and I swear to god idk why Gar is so underrated. He has such a great character arc and he is absolutely HILARIOUS. also I just realised he became like all the male role models he had in his life, like when he used to live with the Doom Patrol, Larry and Cliff were the primary caretakers, they would make the food and give emotional support and then Dick, he was basically a dad to him and Rachel

[canyoufucksoniccharacters]

I am DEEPLY sorry about making you dive down this rat’s nest of a lore hole, but I’m back with another question that should be cleared up: Can You Fuck Shadow the Hedgehog?

I have a feeling this is gonna get complicated real fast…

I've had this one in mind for a while, so this shouldn't be all that hard to write.

CAN YOU FUCK: SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG?

...

YOU FELL FOR IT! YOU ALL FELL FOR IT!

To any reasonable person, Shadow should have been included in the Sonic post, alongside Surge, Mighty, etc. But you want to know why I didn't? Because if I did, it wouldn't give me the proper opportunity to rant about something.

SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG IS NOT 50 YEARS OLD. HE NEVER WAS, HE NEVER HAS BEEN, AND HE WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE.

This is a misconception that has permeated through the fanbase for Chaos knows how long, being repeated over and over and over again, ad nauseam.

Why do people even say this? Well, Project Shadow started 50 years before the event of Sonic Adventure 2. Which means Shadow's creation happened 50 years ago.

So, people take this as "Oh, Shadow was created 50 years ago, this must mean he's 50 years old!"

DO YOU PEOPLE NOT KNOW WHAT THE WORD "STASIS" MEANS.

During Sonic Adventure 2, Eggman breaks into a military base to unleash a "top secret military weapon" for his plans. This weapon, is, of course, shadow. The screenshot above is from the scene where Shadow is released.

What does this look like those particles are? What do they look like to you? Usually, thick white air particles like these are a result of the use of cold to pause biological processes. On top of that, the shot right before it displays the object atop the machinery pretty well, although with some distance.

This is a pod. Like, this is very obviously a pod. Shadow is even standing on top of it once he's revealed.

And what does he say when he's revealed?

Note how he says "Awakening". This is taken from a re-translation of the Japanese script, since the official translation makes him refer to being released as opposed to being awakened. Remember, translations for these games in this era were... Less than stellar.

(seriously, don't go there yet? to the guy telling you he shouldn't have ever been born? like maybe you're right maybe you shouldn't have been born but we don't know enough to say that for sure. ok, buddy)

So, yeah, Shadow isn't 50. I've been saving this for a standalone post, because it is baffling to me how people still keep spouting that "Fact" over and over, even though it makes no sense. He was frozen. He didn't develop mentally or physically. I'm not a Marvel fan by any means, but this is like if you added 66 years to Captain America's age because that's how long he was frozen. For these characters, if you just knocked them unconscious and then sent them to the future, it literally would not make even a bit of a difference.

He's not 50. Moving on.

Oh yeah, uh. That whole immortality thing.

(Source: Japanese dub, translated.)

Here and there, official material will mention Shadow as being "Immortal" or "Ageless". While never stated in the 2005 game, it makes complete sense, as Shadow was made with Black Doom's own genetic material. Black Doom is immortal, Black Doom's genes are in Shadow, thus, Shadow cannot die of old age.

There is, however, no implication that he does not mentally mature. In fact, it would make sense for him to start out quite young to then become more mature as time goes on, since part of the reason he was made was to accompany Maria, in a sibling-like relationship. Although it's unlikely that the Sonic Channel artwork is canon, most of it at least, it does convey a situation akin to this, which would be horribly out of character otherwise.

Look at em! They're doing their homework together! And then a few years later, after Maria's death...

Look at him! Using a minigun for the first time!

His maturity in SA2 also seems just about on par with Sonic's, so it's safe to assume that when that game happened, they were about even in terms of mental development. In general, Shadow is a Sonic counterpart. A very, very close counterpart.

... Very... Very... Ah screw it, let's just bite the bullet.

This happened! An entire Bumblekast episode dedicated to Sonic, Shadow, and mostly Sonadow. It's pretty recent, too! From 8 months ago! In fact, it was made for Pride Month 2023; after Frontiers released. So, Ian Flynn by then became not just a comic writer, but a writer for the games.

I'm not saying Sonadow is canon, obviously, but if the current writer of the games is willing to entertain it for an entire episode and even go as far as saying it's actually really easy to make happen and you don't need to do too much work for it to happen, then it's probably safe to assume the characters are on even ground in terms of maturity.

So, if Shadow can hypothetically, in a fully canon-compatible way, make out with Sonic, and Sonic is fuckable, then Shadow is, by extension, fuckable.

Honestly this is entirely longer than necessary. I could have brought this one up earlier and saved myself the work. Where's the fun in that, though?

Either way, verdict is;

You can, in fact, fuck Shadow The Hedgehog.

[nyikondlovu]

Was rewatching Left Behind (1x07) and as much credit as I give Bella for Ellie’s gay pining, I gotta give 10s to Storm for her Riley.

Riley pretends to be this cool gal who’s unflappable and isn’t fazed by anything until it comes to Ellie.

She’s nonchalant about disappearing until she sees Ellie’s black eye, then she’s pissed and protective and only after Ellie says she dealt with Bethany, she goes back to cool mysterious girl mode.

She’s all blasé about the carousel until she sees Ellie’s little smile and all of a sudden SHE’S shy and staring at her like she can’t believe she’s real.

She is all about impressing Ellie when they arrive at the arcade then they start playing MK 2 and Ellie allows her to be a kid so she’s loud and jokes with Ellie and even celebrates Ellie kicking her ass then snaps back when Ellie realizes she missed her shot to kiss Riley and retreats so Riley tries to salvage the night by saying she has a gift for Ellie.

Then they read the pun book and you see Riley revert to a teenager because yeah, this is something she and Ellie share. Something they both love and she’s giggling unabashedly…until Ellie finds the bombs and now she’s having to start being real about her leaving and disappointing Ellie.

She goes to the Halloween store and sits there because she’s sad she hurt Ellie. She’s sitting with the fourth wonder at the fifth wonder and we see an expansion on her sadness. She’s leaving and her last conversation with the only person who matters to her (Storm’s words) ended harshly, with venomous words and tears.

Then Ellie comes back and finally Riley let’s all her walls down because holy fuck she nearly lost Ellie more than physically. So, she decides to tell Ellie that while she’s not sure about the FireFly mission, she is sure she needs something or someone who needs her. Then Ellie confesses that Riley mattered to Ellie, the first we truly see outside of playful moments (“I’ll be your best friend again” “again? You’re already my best friend Ellie.”) and Riley is no longer showing this +1 wonder because she wants to be cool, it’s because she wants to make Ellie happy. Whether she looks like a dork dancing on a glass counter with a creepy clown mask on…as long as it makes Ellie laugh, she doesn’t care anymore.

And then the moment when Ellie does the one thing Riley wanted happens: she asks her to stay. And you just see the instant release of tension by Storm when she realizes she truly does matter to someone so of course she’s staying. Of course she’s not gonna want Ellie to apologize for kissing her and of course she reacts to kissing her best friend and first love by giggling uncontrollably and averting her eyes for a second.

They get bit and finally she shows that she’s just a scared kid. She’s doomed herself, she’s doomed ELLIE and she’s just cost them the potential relationship and life they could’ve had. Storm plays Riley as a child who is truly broken. Then she puts herself together again to try and raise Ellie’s spirits because at least they’re in this together and without even saying it, she loves Ellie.

Storm played Riley with such nuance. She’s different from the constantly playful and unserious Riley from the dlc and issue 1-3 of the comic and takes on the same energy as the last page of issue four Riley: she’s hardened. She’s closed off. She has trauma. She keeps a secret until Ellie puts the pieces together herself (why she got Winston to take Ellie on a ride on Princess in the comics)

But she also loves puns and games and music and giggling with her best friend and teasing her and being quippy with her. She wants to show Ellie the beauty of the fucked up world they live in. She’s a quiet optimist to Ellie’s loud pessimist.

Bella played 1x07 Ellie as openly hopelessly and thinks it’s never gonna happen in love with Riley. Storm played her as as in love but holding back because what if Ellie does like her back…she might lose her. And she almost does. Then Ellie loses her.

TL:DR, I need Storm and Bella in a romcom asap because I give 10s where 10s are due and they ate best friends to lovers THE FUCK UP!

[kats-fic-recs]

The Best Daredevil Fics I read in 2022

How to Make a Family by Matt Murdock

Step 1. Have a dad.

Step 2. Lose your dad. Be miserable. Great job, everyone. We’re doing amazing so far.

(Matt's arduous journey towards being a functional person, with many stops and starts along the way.)

Candy Land

Matt is having fun with this, at least in some way. Sucking on Life Savers and smirking, and no guilt at all. If Matt could feel guilt, none of this would be happening. Things might be okay again.

But he doesn’t, and this is what Foggy is left with: a candy-stained mouth and a creature that’s more devil than man.

And Foggy still loves him

Invisible Ink

“Hello, welcome to Josie’s, I’m Foggy, what are you looking for?”

“Uh, nothing,” the guy replies, and Foggy is nonplussed for the nanosecond it takes to put together glasses, cane, and the way Hottie McHotFace is gazing absently over his shoulder.

“Oh, oh, you’re blind, dude, sorry. But, uh, this is a tattoo parlour?”

“I know.” The guy sighs. “I lost a bet?”

Or: The One Where Foggy Is A Tattoo Artist And Matt Is The Worst

Just to Listen to Your Breath

After the events of Season 2, Matt and Foggy aren't speaking. But that doesn't mean Matt's not hanging around.

Knock Three Times (On the Ceiling If You Want Me)

Matt's downstairs neighbor sings showtunes (badly) at all hours, eats weird-smelling food, and never stops talking.

Matt falls in love long before they actually meet.

Rowan and Red Oak

Foggy meets a man with a red oak wand and a sweet smile. Over the next eight years, Foggy makes a lot of coffee, reads a lot of tea leaves, breaks a lot of rules and casts a lot of charms. He also spends a good amount of his time pining over his perfect partner and trying to keep his wild outbursts of emotional magic to a minimum.

Stupid Cupid

Foggy plays karma bingo and wins a cupid.

His cupid is possibly the worst matchmaker in the world.

Other People's Blood

Foggy finds himself reminiscing on the ten years he's known Matt Murdock - son of and assassin for the Kingpin. The things they've learned about each other and the violence they've wrought together. Something sharp, and twisted, and beautiful.

A love story written in other people's blood.

The Constellation of Touch

Months after Fisk is put away, nothing's right between the partners at Nelson and Murdock. But Christmas is here, and Matt is still expected at the Nelson house.

darling you're stars

Matt wanted only Foggy’s purple flannel and if he could not have that, then he would have nothing. He would go cold.

(Foggy tries to understand the underlying causes of Matt's bizarre relationship with clothes.)

just meant to smile

“So we agree that Matt is still an Elle, though?” Foggy said.

The current working theory among their cohort was that there were Elles, Emmetts, Vivians, and Warners and if you weren’t one of them you were an extra and you were doomed to fail.

“Yeah, no. He’s still an Elle.”

“Okay, so at the risk of sounding desperate, does this make me an Emmett yet?” Marci gave him a pitying look. She reached over and squeezed his shoulder.

“It’s gonna be okay, Vivian,” she promised. “The plot will go on once we get our internships.”

(The Legally Blonde AU that no one asked for.)

Take All The Courage

When what should have been a straight forward mission in Hell's Kitchen goes pear shaped due to lack of communication, teaching his teammates sign language seems like a logical step to Clint. Communication when their comms are down - great plan! And including the local vigilante, who's been working closely with them on this, is a real no-brainer.

Until it turns out said vigilante is an asshole that thinks sign language is beneath him, judging by the way he's stubbornly refusing to learn it.

(Conversely - Matt's trying, he really is but damn it, those two signs are exactly the same... what do you mean they mean completely different things?!)

None So Blind

They say when you assume you make an ass of you and me.

Matt wishes that the Avenger's assumptions about his seeming inability to read the written word did something as benign as making an ass of him and them. Being called illiterate shouldn't hurt, not when he knows he's not, and it's not like he can tell them the truth.

Not that the truth would make much difference. He's just going to have to grin and bear it.

If he can.

Speyeria Cybele

Matthew's not the first Murdock to tell Father Lantom he had the Devil in him. Only Jack's Devil was nothing like the one Matthew sees in himself.

Jack's Devil was magic. Literally.

(Or a history of Father Lantom's relationship with magic, the Devil and the Murdock boys)

anthropomorphism

Matthew Michael Murdock was a person who had been taken, killed or next to killed, and turned into a droid.

Foggy sobbed as quietly as he could into the toilet.

Like a Handprint on My Heart

The day Foggy’s supposed to start working at Hogarth, Chao, and Benowitz, he wakes up, walks into the bathroom, starts to take a leak, glances down to check his aim, and freezes when he sees black letters on the inside of his right elbow.

His bladder forgotten, he brings his arm up, closer to his face and horizontal, as if he couldn't tell what the word was immediately. As if he'd somehow misread it, even though it's only four letters.

Matt.

Look Around, It's You I Can't Replace

Matt handles his separation from Foggy after the breakup of Nelson and Murdock a bit less well than he anticipated. As in he doesn't really handle it at all.

What All This Time Was For

On the rare occasions he reminisces about high school Foggy kind of wonders if he isn't just filling in the worst parts of teen comedies.

Foggy goes to his high school reunion.

[thewertsearch]

Asks Compilation 11/12

I never considered that Aradia could be feeling sincere gratitude towards Equius - that's a good point, and might partially explain her flushed feelings for him. Similarly, I never thought about how difficult and impractical a relationship would be for Equius, given he has this kind of strength paired with this kind of dexterity.

Anyway, I half-agree with your thesis. I can imagine a hypothetical kismesissitude between an older, more mature Equius and Aradia, and I think that relationship could potentially be healthy, for the reasons you describe.

But the one we're getting is doomed from the start - Equius's mind-control shenanigans have pretty much torpedoed the whole thing. I don't think he can have a healthy relationship until he figures out why that was wrong.

I'll give you a freebie right now - most of the Jojo villains would fit right in with the Felt!

Yeah, it's not like romantic rivalry is a new idea. Really, the more I think about it, the more I think Hussie's riffing on real relationship tropes with all the quadrants.

Hell, I could probably list some fictional characters that work pretty well as Moirails - and I'm not just talking about The Locked Tomb!

[ sent when you posted your troll ranking! - C ]

She's the best, she's the worst, and she's destined for great terrible things.

Sorry Eridan - someone had to nab last place!

He does have a great design. The cape and scarf work well together - I can see how he'd be easy and fun to cosplay.

We have two opposing views here, and they both make good arguments. Aristocrats do tend to be egotistical by nature - but Alternia would expect him to act that way, even if it wasn't his natural tendency.

I personally don't think Eridan ever intended to exterminate the land-dwellers, but I'm not sure he ever realized that himself.

Don't forget Insane Clown Hussie, which is when your webcomic author keeps putting more harlequins in their story.

Toby, what are you doing back in my ask box? Get outta here, you scamp!

Ayy!

It's funny, I never considered that many people are reading through the liveblog/chrono/ tag. I'm almost never on my blog's page; I see it through the dashboard!

Happy belated birthdays, Jade, Dave, and, Rose!

Odd. It really looks like John's birthday should be December 2nd. Maybe something went wrong with his meteor.

The Newtonverse is a corruption of Homestuck, but Homestuck is already a parody of a million other things. It's one layer too deep, and feels 'wrong' as a result.

Unless Cool and New Webcomic is a similar style of parody, in which case, who knows? Maybe the Newtonverse is simply real, and trying to break into our reality.

Yeah, that makes sense. She certainly looks like a classic eldritch monster.

I can't see the commentary - I assume because some of it contains spoilers. For comments that don't spoil anything, feel free to send them along.

It's always very tempting to check out other livebloggers so I can compare and contrast. I won't, though - quite aside from any worries about spoilers, I just don't want to influence my own opinions!

This has always been a blind spot with me, and it always will be. Try as I might, I will never recognize the difference between Rouge and Rouge.

I knew the comic had about 8000 pages, but it's good to know it clocks in at 8128.

It annoys me more than it should that it's not 2^13, or 8192. It would have been a nice round number to finish on!

Thank you, and welcome!

Eridan's beliefs don't really make sense - but it makes sense that they don't. It's bigotry, after all.

He knows trolls like Kanaya, and can clearly see that there's nothing inferior about her - but he can't let go of what he's been taught, so he just doesn't address it, and continues on as normal.

This comic is damn long, so it's a fun reference to make.

I'd probably pick one. No special reason - I just sort of vibe with the number, and it's the closest to something kooky like zero, or a negative number.

I would have picked the cueball, but I don't think I want Scratch as a rival...

Ok, that's fair, actually.

I love how she's trying to 'cull' them.

It's a good bit. I wonder if this means Hussie's trollsona is a green-blood, like Kanaya?

Read it!

It's not intended to! The others all link to the post where the work was recommended to me, but Con Air wasn't recommended - it's just a movie slightly relevant to Homestuck. I have it up there for completeness, and it's underlined for consistency.

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 2

Episode 2: One Henry, Three Girls: Part 1

~Swellview Junior High~

It was a tense time for Henry right now; he was having girlfriend issues. His relationship with Bianca had reached its boiling point and now they were signifying the end of their relationship by removing Bianca's access to his locker. It was sad, but he just couldn't commit to the 'responsibility' anymore.

"Ugh, when is he gonna get here?" Bianca complained, wondering what was taking the school's repairman so long. Henry looked at her with an annoyed face as he ate a banana. How was he supposed to know what the repairman was doing?

"I don't know. I'm not in charge of when guys get here." He told her, which made the brunette scoff.

"Well, did you make an appointment?" She asked him, the pair arguing like an old married couple.

"Not exactly," Henry admitted, not knowing that you had to make a specific appointment.

"Of course, you didn't, you can't commit to anything," Bianca yelled, upset at how their relationship had turned out. Everything used to be so sweet between them.

"That's not true. I'm committed to finishing this banana." He sassed her, shoving another bite of the fruit into his mouth and making a point of chewing it in front of her. 

"Hey-ho. Here I am." The handyman appeared, interrupting their petty argument.

"Good. Now, delete my thumbprint from Henry's locker." Bianca instructed the man, desperate to separate herself from Henry and their relationship.

"Yeah, we're not gonna be sharing a locker anymore," Henry told the guy, nibbling on his banana as he did.

"You want me to act surprised? 'Cause I'm not." The handyman said as he began to reset the locker.

"Why are you not surprised?" Henry asked. Did the guy think that his relationship was doomed to fail?

"Let me guess. She wants you two to be boyfriend and girlfriend, but you say you're not ready, so she's moving out. That about it?" He asked the teens, but Henry tried to play it off so it didn't sound so childishly simple.

"It's not exactly it." He rolled his eyes, but Bianca begged to differ.

"That's exactly it!" She corrected her not-boyfriend.

"I thought so." The repairman said as he opened the locker.

"Huh, look, Bianca. I'm almost finished with this banana I committed to eating." The boy smirked at her, trying to score a low blow against the girl that was frustrating him so much.

"Hey, Henry. You wanna mango?" A girl walked past and offered Henry one of the large fruits in her hand.

"Yes!" Henry exclaimed, throwing his banana into a trash can and taking the mango. With his banana long forgotten, he tried to bite into his mango, but the fruit was too hard for his teeth to cut through.

"You can't just bite into a mango, you have to peel it first," Bianca explained to him with an irritated face.

"Well, I...do what I want." Henry snapped back, taking a large bite from the mango and chewing both the delicious flesh and the god-awful skin. Bianca smirked as he struggled to eat the bitter outer layer; she knew she was right.

"You wanna spit it out into my pocket?" The handyman asked Henry as his face twisted in disgust.

"God yes." He groaned and spat out the mango. This was just tragic, they used to get along so well, where had it gone so wrong?

~Later that Day, Henry's house~

"And then, Bianca said she didn't want to be my locker buddy anymore, just because I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Can you believe that?" Henry complained to Charlotte, having invited her over to his house after school so he could rant to someone. 

"Yes," Charlotte told him, thinking he was being ridiculous.

"I know, wait...wait." Henry looked at his friend like she had kicked a puppy.

"Yeah, I'm on Bianca's side here," Charlotte said to him, knowing that Henry was too indecisive with the girls he wanted to date.

"No. No, that's a—that's the wrong side for you to be on." He complained, taking a seat on the sofa's arm. As he was sulking, Piper came in, look extremely proud that she had a glass bowl on her head.

"What's on your head?" Henry asked his little sister as she waited for them to say something.

"A glass hat. I just got it." She told him as Charlotte stood up so she could get a closer look at it.

"Oh, I've heard of those." The teen girl smiled, having seen the dumb trend online.

"What's a glass hat?" Henry frowned in confusion, despite the name making it pretty obvious.

"It's a hat, made of glass." Piper deadpanned him, thinking that her brother was dumber than she already thought.

"A lot of celebrities are wearing them," Charlotte added, telling Henry why Piper was wearing it. She always jumped on the latest trends, even if they were unbelievably ridiculous.

"Congrats on your glass hat, but Charlotte and I are—" The boy tried to get rid of her, but she gasped and butted in.

"Guess what? Don't care." She rolled her eyes at him and walked off to the kitchen. Now that they were alone, Henry sat down with Charlotte on the couch so he could resume their debate.

"Okay, I can't believe you're taking Bianca's side." Henry hissed at her, checking to see if Piper was eavesdropping.

"Henry, you don't share a locker with a girl unless you're really into that girl," Charlotte whispered back. He really had a lot to learn about dating.

"I was really into Bianca." He whined. It wasn't his fault he had girls falling at his feet.

"But you wanted to keep your options open for..." The teen girl rolled her eyes, not seeing where he was going with this.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Henry stuttered, trying to avoid the awkward topic about him and certain pretty criminal.

"I'm talking about....I'm talking about your Wall Dog friend, Veronika. Your pretty little graffiti girl, who you like to kiss." Charlotte said in a low voice so Piper wouldn't hear. Her words freaked Henry out; he couldn't help it if he liked both girls.

"T-that was undercover kissing." He lied, acting as though he had pretended to like Veronika.

"What?" His friend furrowed her eyebrows as he dragged her off the couch and further away from where Piper was in the kitchen.

"I was being Kid Danger and my job was to get information from her." He explained, which was only a white lie. Sort of.

"What information we're you trying to find out? What her mouth tastes like?" She rolled her eyes, knowing that Henry did a little more than find out some information.

"Ah! There's a smudge on my hat! Hey, where's the glass cleaner?!" Piper suddenly yelled from the kitchen, her glass hat clenched in her small hands.

"Uh, check the garage," Henry told his sister, who groaned but ran off anyway. She'd do anything to keep her new hat in a good condition.

"Okay, this whole thing's about Bianca, not Veronika," Henry said once she'd dashed off to find some cleaner.

"Uh-huh. And when was the last time you saw Veronika?" Charlotte folded her arms, wanting to know how deep this whole thing went.

"I don't know. Maybe last week, once! Or three times, I don't remember!" He rambled as she raised her eyebrows at him. She'd bet all the money in her piggy bank that Ray and (y/n) didn't know about that.

"Hey, Charlotte!" The door suddenly burst open and Jasper came running into the Hart's house, desperate to find his best friend.

"Henry, I've been thinking about your mom's chilli all day. Is there any left? Can I have some?" The curly-haired boy asked his friend quickly. Henry looked at him in confusion, but Jasper wasn't going to leave without satisfying his craving.

"Uh, yeah. There's some left in the fridge." Henry told him, making the boy skip into the kitchen.

"Awesome!" Jasper cried excitedly, ready to down Mrs Hart's amazing chilli.

"Y'know, I don't think you're being very fair here," Henry told Charlotte as his best friend dished out a serving from the fridge.

"Henry, I know you. You want both girls. You want to have your cake and kiss it too." The girl joked, which irked Henry even more.

"No. I-I-I just want...I just want my freedom, because this is America." He stated.

"Oh my god." Charlotte groaned at his stupid comment, neither of them noticing how Jasper was using Piper's glass hat to hold his chilli. Oh, no.

"What? It's true! And I have the right to go out with more than one girl. I think it's even in the constitution. Or the Torah or something." Henry lied, the whole situation stressing him out. Meanwhile, as Henry panicked, Jasper had put Piper's hat in the microwave and had turned it on, not knowing that the little girl was going to kill him for it.

"Okay, then. Fine. You want your freedom from Bianca, so now, she gets her freedom from you." Charlotte told him, laying down the notion that 'freedom' worked both ways. Not that Henry saw it that way.

"You know what? You're right. It's good that Bianca and I broke up. 'Cause that way, I get my options and she gets her options. And now, I have more in my locker for sports balls." At this point, Henry was just lying to himself so he'd feel better. 

Piper came back up from the garage, a bottle of glass cleaner in her hand, only, her hat was no longer on the countertop and Jasper was here and ah, geez.

"Uh, where's my glass hat?" She asked slowly, a sense of dread settling in her stomach.

"Your glass hat?" Jasper looked at her in confusion. He had no idea what one of those was.

"Yeah, my glass hat. I left it right here. Did you see it?" Piper was hoping that he had just moved it out of the way.

"I saw a glass bowl?" He told her, picking up his phone so he could check his Twitflash.

"A bowl? Did you use my glass hat as a bowl? Where is it?!" The little girl yelled, scaring Jasper at her loud voice,

"It's in the microwave." He explained, paling when Piper's face grew red from anger.

"What? It's not microwave safe!" She snapped.

"Well, how was I supposed to know—" Jasper was cut off as the microwave exploded from the superheated glass, causing the kids downstairs to fall over from the shockwave. Piper ran over to the smoking appliance and pulled out two smouldering shards of what used to be her beloved glass hat. She gave Jasper a murderous look as he gulped.

"I'm sorry I broke your hat." He apologised, but it wasn't enough for Piper. Even his sincerest grovelling wouldn't be enough to calm her fury.

~That evening's news~  "And in other news, yesterday, Swellview's own Captain Man was attacked again by the elderly woman, who's come to be known as the Mad Granny." Trent Overunder read out on the news report. Recently, poor Ray had been subjected to constant beatings by a person disguised as an old woman. Every time he went out, she'd come, attack him and then disappear before he knew what was happening.

"It happened at a Junior High School yesterday, as Captain Man was speaking to kids about the importance of climate change." Mary Gaperman reported as a clip was played of Ray speaking about the climate to a load of kids. An old woman snuck up on him then began to severely beat him with a pink umbrella, which the two newsreaders thought was hilarious.

"Anyway, speaking of Captain Man, he'll be on hand tomorrow in Swellview Park, where the Vice Mayor will be hosting the official dedication of Swellview's first public bathroom, that was built way back in 1898. Mary, you know that bathroom." Trent looked at his cohost, who sighed in nostalgia.

"I do. So many memories." She looked off, leaving her viewers wondering what she got up to in the bathroom.

~The next day, Swellview Park~

It was a great celebration that day in the park. The stage was set, there were food stalls set up, balloons, bunting, a crowd buzzing with excitement; this toilet ceremony thing was going to be great, especially since Captain Man and Kid Danger were going to be there. 

The heroes walked to the stage area, (y/n) walking with them as if she was some excited citizen they were talking to. She had decided to join them at the dedication ceremony since she was the only one who helped Ray's nerves, which were on edge constantly as he didn't know when the Mad Granny would strike next.

"Stop being so paranoid." She soothed him, refraining from putting her hand on his bicep since they were in public.

"Oh, easy for you to say. You don't have a crazy old lady running around, whacking you with an umbrella." He retorted, his anxiety making him snap at her even though she was just trying to help him.

"Relax, I'm here. I'm watching everything like a hawk." Henry commented as (y/n) quietened down. She let his harsh words go, trying to be sympathetic with his situation. She'd be moody too if she was getting attacked every five seconds. Henry was absorbed in his smoothie drink, stirring the straw through the cloudy liquid, which really pissed off Ray. He grabbed the boy's drink and threw the straw away, passing the cup back to his baffled sidekick.

"Stop that!" He snapped as Henry took a sip to agitate him further. 

"Now, go, survey the park. Make sure the Mad Granny's not here." He ordered Henry, who sighed in annoyance. 

"Okay..." He complied begrudgingly, doing as he was told so his boss would calm down. '(y/n) really needs to work her magic on him...' The kid monologued as he walked away, leaving the adults alone.

"Calm down, you're so on edge," The woman gave him a kind smile, making Ray sigh. He really didn't want to take his anger out on her, he was just so jumpy from that insane lady who kept beating him up.

"I know, I just down wanna get whacked in public." He said as the Vice Mayor went up on stage.

"Henry's here and me and...that's your cue to get ready, so good luck and knock 'em dead." She gave him a bright grin, which caused a new kind of butterflies to fly in his stomach; butterflies that went crazy when she placed a fleeting good luck kiss on his cheek. Hopefully, no one saw that.

"All right, all right. Thank you for being here to witness this official dedication of our city's very first public restroom, built way back in 1898." The Vice Mayor introduced, making the crowd clap and cheer as (y/n) took a seat in the front row. She wanted the best seat in the house for when Ray did his piece.

"And now, I give you, our very own, Captain Man!" The politician smiled and the crowd cheered even more as Ray jogged out from behind the toilet, waving at the crowd and sending a particularly charming smile to a certain young woman on the front row. He shook hands with the dignitaries, but suddenly noticed an old lady shuffling through the seated crowd, causing him to freak out.

"Oh god, the Mad Granny! Eat this lady!" He yelled in a panic and took out his laser control and fired a strong beam at the elderly woman's head, causing her to scream in pain. The crowd gasped as (y/n) gave him a wide-eyed stare.

"This isn't the Mad Granny, this is my mother!" The Vice Mayor cried, comforting the woman who was yelping in pain.

"Oh. Uh, well then...no need to apologise." Ray smiled sheepishly, making (y/n) facepalm. She gave him a few hand gestures, subtly indicating that she wanted him to calm down and focus, to which Ray gave a small nod of understanding.

~Meanwhile~ "Look. Bianca's over there feeding popcorn to some guy." Henry had dragged Charlotte away from an interesting conversation when he had spotted his ex-girlfriend flirting chatting with another boy. Yes, they had broken up, but that didn't stop a bitter flame of jealousy from igniting in his chest.

"Oh, you mean Blake?" Charlotte asked him as she recognised the boy with Bianca.

"I don't know, he's some dude in a red shirt with—who the hell is Blake?" Henry did a double-take after Charlotte's words had sunk in. This Blake guy sounded like a douchebag and Henry knew nothing about him.

"He moved to Swellview about two months ago. Super nice guy." The girl smiled, knowing that Blake wasn't some dick that didn't deserve Bianca's attention.

"Who cares if he's nice? She can't be with him." Henry spat, hating how the girl he used to date was putting her hand on another boy's chest.

"Why not? You said you wanted your freedom." Charlotte frowned at her friend, not believing how unfairly possessive he was being.

"I don't remember saying that." The boy fibbed, feeling stroppy since his friend was outsmarting him.

"You said, 'this is America, I want freedom and I have the right to go out with any girl I want.'" Charlotte deepened her voice as she imitated what Henry had said yesterday. 

"Yeah, but that applies to me, not Bianca." The boy explained, not realising he sounded like a conceited moron. 

"Oh, you get your freedom, but Bianca should just sit at home alone, doing nothing." The teen girl said sarcastically as she folded her arms, but Henry took her seriously.

"Thank you." He replied, earning him an eye roll.

As the two friends bickered over Biana, Ray was making his speech, (y/n) watching him dreamily, like she was watching an angel speak the gospel. Jasper and Piper were having their own issues too, Jasper really needed to pee and Piper was still angry about her hat, so she had convinced him to use the female toilets instead. He really needs to stop trusting her. 

"Ah, great, now their elbows are touching. What do they think this is? Their honeymoon?" Henry groaned as he spied on Bianca and Blake who were watching the ceremony, occasionally giggling to each other. Charlotte tried to block out his jealousy and her focused mind suddenly spotted something worrying in the crowd.

"Uh, Kid Danger, isn't that the Mad Granny?" She pointed to an old woman who was walking past the stage. Henry blanched as saw her shuffle towards Ray as he made his speech.

"Uh oh." He whimpered as the woman edged closer to the superhero, (y/n) spotting her just too late.

"Captain Man, the Mad Granny!" She shouted in fear as the criminal swung her umbrella and whacked Ray across the back of the head, causing him to scream in pain and collapse on the floor. She continued her assault as he writhed in agony, his best friend rapidly rolling up her sleeves and jumping into action.

"Let him go, bitch!" (y/n) yelled, jumping on the granny's back so she'd stop hitting Ray. The woman stumbled from the new weight, struggling to move as the plucky helper thumped her fists on the criminal's back. The Mad Granny managed to twist herself free and tried to make a break for it, but not before (y/n) landed a punch on her lip. The collision hurt the young woman as much as it did the old one, causing her to shout as pain bloomed in her fingers. 

"Oh, come on!" Ray growled on the ground as he tried to grab the granny as she made her getaway, his best friend clutching her aching fist. Ignoring the throbbing in her hand, (y/n) knelt down beside him, helping him to his feet as he moaned. 

"I'm okay. I'm okay. " He chuckled at the crowd as he rubbed his sore neck and looked at (y/n) with worried eyes. She'd definitely need to ice her bruised knuckles after this. Henry sprinted up to them, ready to sort out any attackers, but he was too late, the granny had legged it.

"Hey, don't worry. I'm here." He said to Ray, who gave him a sarcastic look. Henry looked around the crowd to see if he could spot the Mad Granny, not noticing the annoyed look shared between the adults.

"Yeah, thanks a bunch, kid." (y/n) clapped him on the back with her good hand, the other held to her chest as she winced at the pain. Suddenly, two officers came from around the back of the bathroom, both leading a handcuffed Jasper away. The boy had his pants around his ankles and the scene definitely distracted the young woman from her injury.

"I had to go! Nobody else was in there! I even had my eyes closed. Piper! Piper! Where are you?!" He protested as they took him away, the two superheroes and their friend looking at him in bewilderment.

"I don't even wanna know," Henry commented as Ray continued to massage his neck. Henry tried to smooth down his hair, thinking he could help, but Ray just angrily swatted away his hand. He had enough of Henry's 'help' for one day.

"Okay, girls, let's not do this here." (y/n) hissed at them. She just wanted to get back to the Man Cave so they could work out who the psycho granny bitch was.

~The Man Cave~

Ray was pacing up and down the Man Cave as Henry and Charlotte sat on the couch with (y/n), who had her hand stuck in a bowl of ice. The coolness soothed her swollen hand and they all watched closely as the clip of when Ray was struck by the granny slowed down and showed them the attack in slow motion. The video ended with the young woman angrily jumping on the granny, which made her blush slightly at how she'd reacted.

"See what we learn there, is that when an old lady wants to beat me and you're not paying attention, what happens to old Ray?" The man asked his sidekick in a fake-happy voice. Henry sighed as he stared at the ice cubes bobbing in the bowl, giving Ray the answer he was looking for.

"You get beat and (y/n) has to save you." He mumbled quietly, feeling embarrassed that he had been distracted and someone else had to step in and do his job.

"I'm sorry, what?" Ray leaned in closer, the young woman next to Henry appreciating his shirt choice. She couldn't but simp over his loud shirts, they just suited him so well.

"You get beat and (y/n) has to save you," Henry repeated in a louder voice, making the woman roll her eyes at how harsh Ray was being.

"I get beaten and (y/n) has to save me, yeah!" He snapped, eyeing the darkening bruises on his best friend's knuckles. Seeing her hurt didn't sit right with him, especially when he knew she shouldn't have even been the one fighting in the first place. 

"Just call me Rocky Balboa." (y/n) smirked, proud of the sucker punch she had managed to land on the Mad Granny's face before she ran off. Yeah, it hurt, but no one was going to hurt Ray and get away with it, not on her watch. 

Ray resumed the video, admiring the way the young woman used her weight to pull the granny away from him. What impressed him even further, was the way she slugged the woman in the face, making him gulp at how hot she was when she fought. She was a real tiger when she wanted to be.

"The way you hit her was awesome." Charlotte smiled at the older girl, causing her to blush as Henry stood up and wandered over to the computer. Everyone shared a look of understanding as they saw how upset he was, so the girls encouraged Ray to say something to the boy.

"Y'know, Henry. When I picked you as my sidekick, it was 'cause I thought I could count on you to be by my side. I mean, it's in the name, side-kick. Why'd you let me down?" Ray asked him, Charlotte and (y/n) smacking their hands against their foreheads as he made the boy feel even worse. That was not their plan.

"'Cause, I...I saw Bianca." He told his boss.

"Bianca? You mean that cute girl you used to go out with?" (y/n) asked, trying to stand up so she could talk to him face to face, but Ray gave her a stern look.

"Put your hand back in the ice, young lady." He pointed to the bowl, making her groan as she slipped them back in, the numbness from the cold and his commanding tone making her shiver. His baritone voice made that stupid cavewoman DNA in her awaken, willing to let him be the one who provided for her and protected her. To hell with her independence and confidence, she was ready to revel in the tender care he gave her.

"Bianca, wasn't she there yesterday with that super handsome new guy?" Ray refocused his mind back onto Henry's problem, satisfied that the ice would heal the swelling and she'd be on the mend in no time.

"He's not super handsome." The kid protested, hating that everyone loved that Blake guy.

"I was told he was super handsome," Ray added quickly, (y/n) nodding as they revealed the gossip they had both heard.

"Who told you that?" Henry asked them both, and they looked at Charlotte, who innocently took a sip of her juice and avoided eye contact with her friend. She might have said something about the whole Henry-Bianca sitch. Oops.

"Wait, I thought Bianca got cast in that reality show, Kids in the Woods?" Ray asked as he sat down next to (y/n) and gently took her hand from the melted ice bowl. He helped her pat it dry tenderly with a soft towel, using his warm fingers to chase away the cold in hers. He gently ran his thumb over the bruises, wishing he could speed up the healing process.

"No, no, no, that was Chloe, doofus." The young woman giggled, leaning her head against his shoulder as she savoured his touch. She could just stay like that forever.

"Another girl Henry used to like," Charlotte commented, smiling at the way Ray treated her friend. When he wasn't being an ass and flirting with other women, he was so sweet, respecting and secretly loving her like a true gentleman.

"Hey, you can't blame me for the Chloe thing. She's the one who left me for the woods." Henry sat down at the computer, getting upset at how his first crush left him for some crappy show.

"I once dated a guy who was on TV." (y/n) mentioned, recalling a memory from her youth. It must've been around five, maybe six years ago, one of her last-ditch attempts to stop herself from giving her heart to Ray, but it ended with her dumping him when she realised it was pointless.

"You mean that Aaron guy?" Ray asked, busying himself by playing with her fingers as he remembered how jealous he felt back then. Her announcement that she had found herself a boyfriend made him feel anger and spite like never before and he had to endure two months of watching her kiss and flirt with someone else. It caused him to date a new girl every day, but no one could drown out the way his soul was cried out for her. 

"Yeah, him. God, he was so full of himself." She giggled, glad that she had seen sense and left the man who did nothing but talk about his job, his hobbies, his family, his day, his childhood. There was never a chance for her to share her life, so she left him at the restaurant and went home to the only man who truly knew who she was. 

"Okay, fine, but you're the one who messed things up with Bianca." Charlotte steered the conversation back to Henry, who was still sulking by the supercomputer. 

"I'm over Bianca." He said, trying to dismiss off his angry attitude.

"Then why do you care if she's with another guy?" (y/n) asked, snuggling into Ray when he put his arm around her shoulder.

"Because I love her! What? Oh, life is hard!" Henry cried, hating that he was still crazy about the girl he had just broken up with. Ray could sympathise with his sidekick, he constantly felt that way about the girl on his chest, but he never did anything about it. She was better without him and he was certain that she'd never feel the same way, not for some childish idiot like him. 

"Y'know what? I don't care what girl or girls you wanna hang out with. I mean, look, nobody knows the joy of many girls better than I do." He smirked at his sidekick, not seeing how (y/n) deflated like a balloon. With just one sentence, the loving serenity that had come over the two was shattered. It was another reminder that he probably did this with all his girlfriends and it took away the specialness she had attached to their moment. It was just Ray expressing his touchy-feely personality, not her being the one he wanted. He was happier without her and she was sure that he'd never like her back, not for some mousy, shy engineer. 

Feeling stupid, she left his embrace and took a gulp of her juice, acting as normally as she could despite her heartache. Ray frowned as she moved away from him and wondered if it was something he said. 

He got the hint that she felt uncomfortable around him, which made him curse himself in his mind and stand up. If she needed space, he'd give her space, but in reality, she just wanted him to hold her and only her. What didn't she have that those girls did? For the first time since she had fallen for him, she wanted him to see how much she loved him, she wanted him to see that she had been waiting for him for so long. Her only question was: would he leave her like he left all the rest?

Henry and Charlotte each gave him an irritated frown, noticing how the young woman shrank into herself and looked at his back with hurt yet pining eyes.

"But when your Kid Danger, you have a responsibility. Don't let me down again." Ray scolded him, his angry voice, causing (y/n) to slink off through the sprocket so she could hide under her bedsheets. The superhero watched her leave, sensing that she was upset about something, so he chased after her, intent on finding out what was wrong.

Henry sighed, he and Charlotte turning to each other as they watched their boss run after the woman he loved. The boy took a moment to mull over his situation and finally decided what his course of action would be.

"All right, I know what I'm gonna do." He told his friend.

"What?" She was very curious to hear what his plan was.

"I'm gonna find Bianca and I'm gonna tell her that I lo—that I like her." Henry stopped himself from saying the l-word. Why can't guys just give in to their emotions?

"Good." Charlotte smiled, but she wasn't completely satisfied with his answer.

"I'm gonna." Henry rubbed his hands together and tried to walk to the elevator, but his friend stopped him.

"Right after you tell that Wall Dog girl you're not gonna see her anymore." She told him sternly, causing Henry to groan and dramatically clutch his chest as he dropped to the floor. 

"What?" Charlotte groaned at his theatrics.

"I can't tell Veronika I don't wanna see her anymore." He confessed in a quiet voice, so Charlotte took a seat next to him on the floor.

"Why can't you?" She asked.

"'Cause if I do, then, she'll try to kiss me and that's when my brain goes dumb." He whined, thinking about how Veronika's good looks and sweet lips turned his mind to mush.

"All right, give me your wrist." Charlotte sighed and Henry complied with a confused face.

"Why are you holding my—ow!" Henry hissed in pain as Charlotte smacked him across the face with his own hand.

"You slipped me with my own hand!" He yelled, looking at her in disbelief.

"Yeah, now man up! We already have one guy around here who's terrible with the girl he loves, we don't need another one! Go tell Veronika that you're through so you can make up with Bianca before it's too late." She warned him that he risked losing the girl he loved/liked forever if he didn't act quickly.

"Okay. Or maybe...I could just—" Henry's suggestion was cut off when Charlotte smacked him across the face again. 

"All right!" He complained, getting the message that he had to be a man and do what's right.

~Meanwhile, in the sprocket corridor, near the bedrooms~

(y/n) sprinted to her room, wanting to get away from it all and seek the blissful protection her room brought. Four walls where there was no outside interference, just her own thoughts in her own world. Her private paradise was only a few steps away, but a hand on her wrist pulled her back from reaching the door button.

"Sweet girl, what's wrong?" That voice. That damn voice. It had the power to cut her down and build her back up again so easily, she craved it, but she also knew that it came with a man she couldn't have.

"(y/n)? What's wrong?" He repeated when she didn't answer. She screwed her eyes shut as he kept a grip on her wrist, her chest rising and falling in uneven breaths as she thought of something to say, anything that would uphold the lie.

"Nothing. I'm fine." She told him in a surprisingly calm and steady voice. Blinking back any tears that sprang up in the corners of her eyes, she turned around and gave him a wobbly smile, trying to convince both of them that their situation wasn't heart-breaking.

"Don't lie to me." He glanced down as he swallowed the lump in his throat. He didn't know how to handle his own emotions let alone hers.

"I don't lie." She told him in a strong voice, despite that being a lie itself. It was in the best interests of their friendship, everything they had built together in the almost eight years they'd known each other. Was it such a bad thing if she lied to protect herself from losing the one person she deemed irreplaceable?

She turned again so she could leave it there, but he wasn't done talking with her. Using her wrist to manoeuvre her, he carefully pushed her against the wall and put one hand next to her head, effectively caging her in his arms. (y/n) froze his eyes dragged over her body like she was an innocent lamb in the clutches of a bloodthirsty wolf. 

"What do you want from me?" She whispered breathlessly as he studied her features. He was foolish to think that any other girl could make him feel half the passionate anger, half the burning lust, half the complete adoration or half the pure love he felt for her. 

"I can't help you if you're not honest with me, sweet girl." He mumbled, his mind screaming him to kiss her right then and there, to finally discover if she tasted as sweet as she looked. Her bottom lip quivered as her brain faltered, this man, no, this Greek god in front of her would surely be the death of her.

Her silence spoke volumes to him, but he couldn't read the signs that she was desperate for him to make her his own, so he shook his head and clenched his fists, wrestling with his instinct to mark her up. His mind ultimately won the battle, despite the temptation from the sight of her décolletage and her soft neck. Shaking his head, Ray yanked himself away from the wall and stomped off to his room. There, he could be left alone with his lust and keep himself from ruining her with his feverish desire.

(y/n) was left panting against the wall as she reeled from the last few minutes. As her brain processed the interaction between the couple, a simmering heat lit in her lower belly, which left her with the question: what the hell was that?

~Later that night, Swellview Park~

Henry was pacing around a secluded corner of the park. He had transformed into Kid Danger and had met up with Veronika at the location he had specified. She had arrived with a smile, her art supplies and mysteriously, a split lip. Where had she gotten that? Anyway, all he had to do now was pluck up the courage to tell her he was finished with whatever the spark was between them. She was busy drawing something secret, so he decided to use the moment to break it off.

"And see, there's this other girl, that I really like and she really likes me and...you know I feel like you're not listening." He trailed off as he realised that she hadn't registered a single thing he had said. Maybe he should've picked a moment when he had her undivided attention.

"And done." Veronika smiled at her easel, finishing the final touches on her picture with a flourish and smile. She turned the sketchbook around to show him that she'd drawn her and Henry as caricatures, which made him sigh. This was not going to be easy.

"It's you and me, together, on a boat." She smiled at her, thinking he'd love the drawing she'd done of them.

"But Veronika..." He started, trying to stay strong.

"You don't like the boat?" Her smiled dropped as his voice became serious.

"I don't care about the boat." He hissed. God, this was torturous.

"I can make it a truck!" Veronika told him sweetly, thinking that she could make everything better.

"I don't care about the vehicle. I'm saying I can't come meet you anymore, 'cause I like someone else." Well, he said it, but Veronika didn't take him seriously. She thought no other girl could match up to her.

"Oh yeah? Is she prettier than me?" She smirked at him, switching on her beguiling charm.

"I don't know, I mean that's like asking what's prettier, pizza or ice cream? 'Cause, pizza's pretty, but ice cream's also attractive." Henry replied, thinking it was cruel to segregate two girls based on their looks. Veronika stroked his face and leaned in to kiss him, but they were suddenly interrupted.

"Stop right there!" A police officer yelled, running towards the pair with his handcuffs in his hand. The cop and his partner grabbed Veronika, who protested and struggled against the police, as they arrested her.

"How did you know she was the Mad Granny?" The cop asked Henry, who looked at Veronika in shock. She was the criminal who had been beating up Ray every day? At least that explained the split lip, (y/n)'s punch must've been a pretty powerful blow.

"We were just—what?!" He gasped, not believing his ears.

"She's the Mad Granny." The cop confirmed, making Veronika scowl at him.

"Right, I know that, but how'd you know? Like I did?" Henry pretended like he'd been in the loop the entire time, not wanting to appear dumb in front of the police.

"We found her DNA on the umbrella she dropped at the bathroom ceremony. And we tracked her here. How'd you find her?" He explained as the teen girl shut her eyes. The game was up for her.

"Y'know, the usual ways." Henry stuttered as the other policeman searched Veronika's backpack.

"Hey! Leave my bag alone!" She shouted at the man, watching nervously as he rifled through her stuff.

"No! Looks like we got a granny wig. Granny dress. And granny panties." The officer took out every piece of evidence from the bag, Henry groaning as he pulled out the items of unflattering clothing.

"What do you have against Captain Man?"  "Yeah, why have you been dressing up as an old lady and hitting him with an umbrella?" The cops asked, deepening the frown on the girl's face.

"For revenge. 'Cause, it's Captain Man's fault that all the other Wall Dogs are in jail. And if it wasn't for that stupid bitch jumping on me, I would have never dropped my umbrella!" She snapped as the officer behind her tightened the cuffs.

"Well, that's where you're going." "To jail!" "Get her out of here!" The police took her away, leaving Kid Danger to stand there awkwardly.

"So, you and me, we're over!" He yelled to the retreating group, even though they couldn't hear him. He walked away, returning very briefly to kick the easel over so the dumb drawing of them would fall to the ground. And that was the last time Henry Hart ever spoke to Veronika the Wall Dog.

~Henry's house~

"Hey, are there any more candles?" Henry asked Charlotte, who had kindly agreed to help him make his house all romantic so he could make up with Bianca. He had put on his best button-down and his friend had arranged a variety of snacks and juice so they could have a nice sentimental date.

"Uh, yeah, I got two more." The girl dashed over to grab her spare Yankee candles as Henry picked up some vases of flowers.

"Cool, put them on the coffee table." He told her, his stomach full of butterflies. This date had to go smoothly.

"Where should I put the flowers?" He asked, trusting her feminine attention to detail.

"Put them anywhere," Charlotte told him, rushing to get everything perfect before Bianca arrived.

"Hey, guys!" A new voice entered the room, as Jasper burst into the house uninvited. The hell was he doing there?

"Jasper?! What are you'd doing here?" Charlotte gasped. Oh god, they really didn't want their well-meaning, but oafish friend messing the night up.

"We thought you were locked up in juvie for wazzing in the ladies bathroom." Henry giggled at his friend as he set down the drinks.

"I was, but my mom bailed me out," Jasper explained with a smile, unbelievably glad that he didn't have to spend the night in a detention centre.

"Okay, that's great, but you've gotta go 'cause Bianca's gonna be here in a second." Henry quickly told his friend and adjusted the bowls on the coffee table.

"I thought you were done with Bianca." Jasper frowned. He was always the last one to know the latest gossip going on in his friendship group.

"I was, but I called her and she's coming here tonight." The blond boy smirked, hoping that tonight would go smoothly.

"Why?" 

"So I can get back together with her," Henry told him.

"And just her." Charlotte quickly added and Henry agreed with her, not wanting to be smacked by her again. 

"Cool, but I need to talk to Piper." Jasper walked to the staircase as his friends groaned. Couldn't he just leave?

"No, you and Piper can scream at each other later." He complained, not wanting Bianca to walk into a shouting match.

"I'm not gonna yell at her. Look, it was my fault that I broke her glass hat, so, wa-lah!" Jasper opened a cardboard box and revealed that he had bought a glass hat that was identical to the one Piper had. 

"Whoa!" Henry gasped and took the delicate thing into his hands so he could admire it.

"You bought her another glass hat?" Charlotte looked at Jasper with wide eyes. It was a very sweet thing to do for the girl who got him arrested.

"Yeah, I met this kid in juvie, who hooked me up. It's the last one in America. Cost me two hundred bucks." Jasper told them, smiling as he felt proud of his selfless act.

"Awwww! That's so sweet of you." Charlotte complimented him.

"Thanks, now, where's Piper?" Jasper asked, desperate to give him the hat and get her forgiveness.

"Uh, she went next door to borrow a sledgehammer, so why don't you come back tomorrow after school and then we can—" Henry tried to push Jasper out of his house. However, he was stopped when Piper came from the back door with a sledgehammer in her hands. Ah, geez.

"Hey, I got it!" She yelled as she came back into the house.

"Hey, Piper." The curly-haired boy was happy to see her, for once.

"Jasper? I thought the cops took you to jail." She frowned at the sight of him.

"They did, but—"

"Wait! Is that a glass hat?" Jasper was interrupted as the little girl spied the item in her brother's hands.

"It is," Henry confirmed. All he wanted was for everyone to leave. His living room was starting to look like Piccadilly Circus.

"Jasper bought it for you," Charlotte told her, still scurrying around to finalise the romantic setting.

"It's real?" Piper gasped.

"It's the last real one in America," Jasper told her, loving the way the little girl's face lit up. However, the excitement picked up for everyone as the doorbell sounded. 

"Ah!" Henry paled and his hands grew sweaty around the glass hat as his date announced her arrival. It was now or never.

"Come in!" Piper yelled, not knowing the significance of the person who was at the door,

"No, that's Bianca. You guys have to leave before..." Henry tried to chase them away as the door opened, so he turned around with a cool smile on his face, but the person who walked through the door was the last person he expected to see.

"Hey, Henry." A familiar face smiled at him, but it didn't bring him too much joy.

"Chloe?" He breathed out. Oh. My. God. 

"I'm back from the woods." She smirked at him, the shock making his whole body go numb and the glass hat fell from his fingertips. It smashed on the floor, the shards scattering as Piper freaked out.

"Henry!" She yelled horrified, but her brother couldn't hear her. This was definitely an unexpected turn of events...

[phonypizza]

get to know the mun ! very long post, under readmore.

name / alias. hen / henhen / hennethy / henry.

are you over 18 ? yes. no.

WRITING.

are you selective about who you write with ? no (anyone.) semi (most people.) yes (some people.) highly (few people.) private.

are you selective about who you follow ? no (anyone.) semi (most people.) yes (some people.) highly (few people.)

if your muse is canon, how much do you adhere to canon ? not at all. a little. some. mostly. strictly. not applicable.

well, like... there IS some canon, but not much? and some of it was walked back. it's not difficult for me to pin down HOW to write him, but adding stuff that makes him feel like he had a life before the game canon is... well, I get a little anxious about how it looks.

what post lengths do you write ? one - liners. single - para. multi - para. novella. all of the aforementioned.

do you use icons and/or gifs ? no. gifs. icons. yes. sometimes.

do you write on other platforms ? no. yes.

I can do stuff on Discord as well, though I don't write as quickly when it's just one-on-one. I gotta ferment that writing juice.

what level of plots do you write ? unplotted. open - ended plots. semi - plotted. fully plotted epics. all of the aforementioned.

sometimes stuff will just spring up out of nowhere and I'm okay with that! I really like having wiggle room when it comes to plots though. am good with a general direction and a certain conclusion to reach but if things get too rigid I don't like it.

how quickly do you usually respond to threads ? very slow (more than a month.) slow (3 - 4 weeks.) average (1 - 2 weeks.) fast (less than one week.) very fast (less than three days.) depends on my motivation, this can make it range from days to weeks.

y'know, I got a job recently and even if it isn't full-time it's still tiring. between that, my anemia, and my Discord servers, I may get in a burst of writing for a little while or I might not have motivation for some time. generally though if we're chatting about the thread I'll have it on my mind more often and I'll respond more quickly as a result.

what types of themes do you like ? adventure. romance. fluff. angst. violence. tragedy. domestic. family. all of the aforementioned.

the best way for me to put this is, if it progresses something in some way, I'm down for it. could be plot, character development, relationship, anything as long as something goes somewhere.

what genres do you like? high fantasy. supernatural. science fiction. historical. horror. comedy. romantic. drama. action. smut. adventure. espionage. all of the aforementioned.

are there any themes you’re uncomfortable writing on your blog ? (not triggers) no. yes. it depends.

I might put my characters through a lot, but I don't enjoy writing or writing with 'doomed' characters - beings who are destined to suffer with no catharsis. I do have a difference between 'character who had opportunities to be saved' and 'character who cannot be helped no matter what', and the latter just really bothers me. especially if they don't deserve it.

do you have any triggers ? how do you request it tagged ?

yeah, the big ones are gaslighting; finger, mouth, and eye gore; emetophobia; and trypophobia.

SHIPPING.

what types of relationships are you open to ? romantic. platonic. familial. other. all of the aforementioned.

what types of pre - established relationships are you open to ? romantic. platonic. familial. other. all of the aforementioned.

ehhhh. not really a pre-established relationship kind of person. though I don't mind talking about where a relationship might go - positive, negative, or whatever's in between.

do you have otps ? no. chemistry only. yes.

with pino, it's generally anyone who will accept him and let him lean on them. with the lyoko warriors? poly group, don't @ me my pals and I knew what we were doing when we came up with that. pizzelle? rosette, naturally. vigilante? i might be one of the extremely few peppino and vig supporters. the manipulator? bro they [SPOILERS] because of [SPOILERS] but idm a weird hatemance thing either--

do you have notps ? no. yes.

look I've been in the CL tag, I know there's a freak in there. stop it. get some help. besides that, my pizzelle isn't really interested in (most) pizzanos. since the one I planned to eventually develop a decent relationship with dropped off tumblr, well. uh. so far I'm not really interested in pepperman/vigilante? it feels like a case of 'pair the spares' and that's not... really my thing tbh.

what is your muse’s sexual orientation ? heterosexual. bisexual. pansexual. homosexual. demisexual. asexual. still trying to figure it out. depends on the muse you’re asking.

what is your muse’s romantic orientation ? heteroromantic. biromantic. homoromantic. panromantic. demiromantic. aromantic. still trying to figure it out. depends on the muse you’re asking.

are you comfortable writing smut ? no. selectively. yes.

no strangers. if you're a stranger I'm not comfortable jumping in, and I have a couple of boundaries to abide by. and like 95% of the time I don't wanna do that publically anyway >> but otherwise, eh, occasionally.

how early in a relationship do you ship romantically ? autoship. during plotting. after a couple ic interactions. several ic interactions. slow burn. plot dependent. never.

are you open to toxic ships ? no. selectively. yes. i am not sure.

it 100% depends on how 'toxic' the ship is. while I enjoy a good hatemance, if things get too realistically toxic I'm outta there.

are you open to problematic ships ? no. selectively. yes. i am not sure.

'problematic ships'. just say it bro. we know what you mean. :/

are you open to polyshipping ? no. selectively. yes. i am not sure.

I'm poly irl so this is sort of a continuation of that.

are you an exclusive shipper ? never. sometimes. yes. i would be open to discuss it.

does crack shipping ever happen ? nope. yes. depends.

tagged. thanks @lultimagoccia :)

tagging. get going gamers

[sofipitch]

I feel so betrayed by the show, tbh. I've been so positive about it and talked many of my friends into watching it (I even got a friend to read IWTV in anticipation for the show) and.... I'm just so upset after episode 5. There were a few things I was disappointed with before this, but I could live with them:

(1) AMC!Louis being so much younger than Lestat; I've always liked that they're only 5 or so years apart and both so young at the start of IWTV.

(2) Daniel being aged up so much—the actor is killing it but I doubt we'll see anything resembling Devil's Minion on screen.

(3) And what probably bothered me the most before ep 5: Lestat and Claudia's dynamic. He seems to barely tolerate her and only for Louis's sake. Like, that's supposed to be his daughter that he dotes on... from what we've seen it doesn't look to me like he has any personal affection for her at all or her for him. They're roommates that sometimes get fast food together.

But now? My faith in the show has been broken and I'm really starting to doubt if I even want to keep watching. I'll probably finish out this season and keep tabs on it over the hiatus and during S2 but... idek man I'm just SAD.

Yeah I agree. There were a few things I was just "whatever" on and giving the show the benefit of the doubt. Like I'm not super attached to Daniel and wasn't sure we'd make it far enough for QOTD so like whatever. The loustat age difference I wasn't crazy about but I didn't find it morally objectable, it's really common in vampire media to have a hundreds of years old bf. Like that's Armand and Daniel's dynamic and I like them as a couple.

The Lestat Claudia dynamic is a biggie to me tho. I think it was kind of always more tragic that Lestat was trying his best to be a good dad but because of his hairpin triggers due to trauma, withholding info bc of some stupid promise, and the way he made her it was always doomed. Like isn't that more tragic, that the love was real but the relationship failed anyways?

I thought the scenes in ep 4 where fine and in character with the exception of Lestat being called Uncle, which I took as a time period thing. But now having heard what Lestat says about Claudia in ep 5 and he isn't even concerned for her, doesn't want her back... It's horrible and if RJ said this Lestat is based on all the books he should go back to the scene in Claudia's diary for QOTD where Lestat gets on his knees and reassures Claudoa that he loves her and doesn't see her as a doll. That's the real dadstat

[r0b0tb0y]

directors cut for 1 rogue street?

fanfic writer director's cut meme

ROGUE STREET MY BELOVED

Here are scattered thoughts and a piece of 2 Scarif Street to see if posting part of the draft revs me into filling out the rest of the sequel:

One thing I've been really happy about is that three headcanons of mine came true in Andor: he lives in a vehicle, has a good relationship with his adoptive mother, and works in engineering.

Interestingly, I hadn't finished House of Leaves when I wrote Rogue Street, so the distorting staircase was a coincidence (but it was kind of clear that was where HoL was going)

Because the Yonder is shaped by human belief, Kay looks like a stereotypical demon because Cassian grew up with Doom and Gwar and D&D. This gets mentioned in 2 Scarif Street because exorcist Din Djarin thinks it's hilarious.

Krennic is Australian and I tried to show it by making him as annoying as possible

The choices of when they go to Tesco and Sainsburys were absolutely intentional and narratively significant

Maple pecan praline latte really is my favourite Starbucks order

The house's Fucked Locus that functions as a cylinder of negative energy from the basement to the top floor is based on a really unlucky spot in the construction site opposite my old apartment where multiple accidents such as fires, collapses, misapplication of concrete, and dropping stuff all happened in a 2m-diameter area on different levels.

Chewie is Han's watcher demon, but he's a dog, since the movie Chewie was based on Lucas' real dog.

Cassian's paramour in That Other Time is fancast in my head as José Maria Yazpik, since he and Luna have worked together lots and have great chemistry.

I once had someone say they wanted more description of the interior design, which I totally concur on but I don't have a huge design vocabulary. I grew up in a hideous Edwardian house (complete with shrieking creatures in the walls and doors that opened by themselves) so Rogue Street has some elements of that, like the crown moulding, ceiling roses, patterned glass, dark wood panels. I think Galen had the living areas painted and carpeted in cool grey Nordic fashion, since that's his palette in Rogue One.

HERE HAVE SOME EXPOSITIONY DIALOGUE SEQUEL DRAFT (also be warned it talks about religious homophobia):

‘You know, I had an exorcism once,’ Cassian said.

Din winced. ‘How’d that go?’

Cassian nodded in Kay’s direction. So, not very effective.

‘Catholics?’ Din asked.

‘Yeah,’ Cassian’s tone was mild.

‘Must have been a long time ago.’

‘You can see that through the beskar?’ Cassian raised an eyebrow.

’No, you’re just…’ Din waved a vague hand. ‘You seem okay. The way you talk about it.’

‘If you thought he’d be scarred by the experience, why did you ask?’ Kay spoke from further ahead.

‘He brought it up,’ Din pointed out.

‘It’s okay,’ Cassian shrugged, despite the skeptical look Kay gave him. ‘I mean, it’s okay now. I was thirteen.’

‘Your family realised you had a demon?’ Din guessed.

‘No, my family thought I had trauma,’ Cassian rolled his eyes.

‘Which you did,’ Kay added.

‘Yeah, but it was my teachers who called the priest.’

‘Which didn’t work,’ Kay said.

‘It worked on the other boy,’ Cassian muttered.

‘He wasn’t possessed,’ Kay said. ‘He was queer, and probably still is.’

There wasn’t room to get a word in between them—not that Din had much to add.

‘Does it ever work?’ Cassian directed this question at Din.

‘Not on queers: we’re immune,’ Din said, and Cassian laughed. Din frowned at himself: what was he trying to prove? Cassian was spoken for, and the Watcher was a dealbreaker. Maybe some way to assure them he wasn’t a total outsider.

‘On demons, it can work,’ Din kept his mouth talking. ‘What did it feel like to you?’

Kay tilted his head. ‘Like people shouting at my charge. The incense tickled.’

Din nodded. 'A lot of it is showmanship and browbeating the victim into compliance, but if there’s a sensitive priest and a real possession, it can work.’

‘So the Catholicism is auxiliary,’ Kay drawled.

Din sighed. ‘It’s a ritual. Religion amplifies the intent, some of the techniques… but a real professional can lorem ipsum their way through an exorcism.’

‘You’re not making a good case for yourself, you know,’ Cassian said.

‘We’ve been going down these stairs for ten minutes,’ Din muttered. ‘You notice how nothing has attacked us?’

Cassian looked at Kay: he did that a lot. There wasn’t an increase in psychic interference when they communicated this way: it seemed to be mundane codependence.

‘Beskar?’ Cassian asked Din.

‘And professionalism,’ Din quipped.

[lenievi]

snw2 #6

My personal episode ranking based on my enjoyment: 3 - 6 - 4 - 2 - 1 - 5

such a GOOD episode

(this time I’m leaving all my feelings and thoughts as they occurred as I went through the episode, so it’s a mess and I mention things that the episode explains later. I mean these posts are pretty much just for me anyway)

Kirk/La’an in the preview!!! why are you teasing me so?????? (also the parallels in the preview between Kirk/La’an and Spock/Chapel.... if you’re experimenting with Spock/Chapel, I want you to experiment with Kirk/La’an, ok? I think that sometimes people misunderstand, because I don’t expect or even want Kirk and La’an to live happily until Kirk’s 60 and dies, I just want them to give them a chance... for a year or two (which is entirely plausible because there are years before Kirk gets the Enterprise where we don’t know anything about a girlfriend), it’s about the journey, not the endgame - and I feel like people are always focused on endgame. After ep 3, I made a mistake and looked around the fandom and the amount of people who would just be like doomed doomed doomed is annoying. And like, so what? I know people do this with Spock/Chapel too, even though with them it’s way more about glee than anything else, and it’s also pretty annoying)

....... wow they robbed us of Pike’s promotion ceremony? Does it mean it’s just for this episode so he and Kirk can meet? Like seriously? This is so hilarious if true

Pike: “I’ve been given a command of the Farragut” LMAO (this is some... convoluted writing lbr) 

- awww Uhura’s watching video of Hemmer to learn T_T

- Una’s finally doing her job. amazing.

- oh, Uhura now has a single room. Interesting. So maybe only cadets share rooms?

- soooooo, the preview did lie to me, okay. I mean, I expected it, but I wanted Una and Kirk to meet :(((( 

- omg thank you for 1. Sam being jealous 2. the brothers not having a loving buddy buddy relationship 3. love seeing that Jim’s biases against soft sciences are actually still very much present

considering that Sam has a family, a wife and kids, I wonder if Kirk Sr. doesn’t consider that enough... and that’s why Jim is always going after career because that’s what his father instilled in him. = to be a man, you’ve got to be successful, you’ve got to aim high, you’ve got to be the best. And so Jim goes through that life while yearning for a home and family... and eventually, he just gets an empty house.

- I really like these types of episodes where we can see everyone. This is already so much better than last week’s episode

- Spock and Chapel do play chess together. Yay :D

- oh, wow, it’s gonna be Chapel who ends it? (just me theorizing, because she’s like pulling back now :/) That... hmmmm, will make tos!Chapel look worse. Please, handle the relationship with care or officially make SNW a different timeline where stuff in TOS happens differently (I know ep 3 did that, but also a lot of people are sooooo stubborn against it, like, ok, they changed the years, but it doesn’t mean that what happened in the episodes changed. But... anyway, handle it with care and don’t make tos!Chapel look bad because she’d still be pining even though it’d be her fault that the relationship ended. I mean we’ll see how it goes...) Also LMAO at Spock actually being extra invested. He really wants this to work, and Chapel is probably going to break his heart? (even though that is not what TOS implies but could be interesting. I’d actually prefer if we could get them having a relationship together, but... yeah)

love how Kirk implied that Spock might be losing against Chapel in chess lol (Kirk was like, ok, I guess Vulcans are good at chess BUT they’re also easily distracted. Noted.)

- why can’t all episodes just have everyone interacting, so we can learn more about their dynamic?

- uhmmm, Pike, you shouldn’t be your crew’s friend......... (I kind of miss the lack of proper professionalism like it was in TOS. I know, I know, different times, but...)

- is Kirk literally going to meet everyone from his future crew in this episode? (we’re missing Chapel and Spock atm, even though he already saw them playing chess)

- and as I was just wondering where is La’an since it’s a security job, she appeared. Good. Would be stupid if they kept her away from an episode with Kirk (can they meet pls?)

- why is everyone calling Kirk “James”??? (do the writers have some fanfics wishes for Uhura to do that or what? Wouldn’t an ensign call her superior officer by the title? Now, what’s missing is Kirk calling her “Nyota”)

- akhdkjahfjshdjfghjdsgjsgjsh 

La’an: James? Pike: You two know each other?

akdhjahfjdshjghsjghsj 

- I’m glad that Pike is there for Uhura too btw (I just don’t think a captain should say he’s an ensign’s friend, that’s all)

omg omg omg Thank you so much for that Kirk/La’an scene

1. just the way he opens up to her because he doesn’t want her to think he’s one to chase every pretty skirt

2. Kirk not truly growing up on Earth but jumping from an outpost to an outpost, from a planet to a planet is my long time headcanon. (So I’m gonna take it and use it so much.) Kirk not really growing up with a father around as well. (which might also mean that Kirk’s parents’ relationship might not be ideal, but we’ll see. So much validation in this little scene. Gonna probably be really annoying about it later)

3. La’an just... smiling at him T_T idk I’m just so happy with this scene

4. Kirk being all “I didn’t forget you owe me a drink” kshdjkahfjkhdjkghjsdhgjsh

it must still be hard for La’an, but tiny steps

- thanks for giving me good scenes with Una in this episode (but I still have the same problem when it comes to the relationships. They showed Una and Hemmer interacting once...)

- and when I thought they would ignore Spock, they had to insert him in lol At least, that’s out of the way, and now they can just exist while having adventures with other people. I like it was together with Uhura and that Uhura introduced them and that it was completely casual, but omg please stop with Spock needing to clean dishes after Sam Kirk. 

McCoy: So, Jim, how did you and Spock meet? Kirk: He came to my table when I was talking with Uhura to clean a glass after Sam. Can you believe that? Who does that in a bar?

(I kind of entertained the thought that “meet James Kirk” was about Spock (or rather it was literally the first thought when hearing the line), just edited in that way in the trailer, and... I was right lol)

aaaand is Pike like going to loose the Fleet Captain badge in the next episode? Is that really what will happen? Temporary promotion for one single mission. Okay. Sounds... like a good writing (I think it’d be better to just ignore The Menagerie than do this... are you gonna not let them meet after this or what?)

anyway, such a good episode, and I’m actually so glad that they left Spock out, because people would probably just talk about that and wouldn’t focus on Uhura, and she deserves it so much. (the fact that startrek.com’s promo pic about the episode is Kirk and Spock is so insulting - it was like three seconds)

I kinda like that it felt like Kirk wasn’t actually sure about his “charm and jokes”, that he feels like he needs to use them, but they’re not really him, and it will take him years to grow comfortable with them. 

Thank you for making him so serious. And thank you for making him immediately open up to La’an (and La’an knowing what to say back, so they kind of connected through understanding) T_T 

I loved Kirk and Uhura together. Now, Mirror Mirror has so much background when it comes to Kirk and Uhura. Love it.

Now, since Pike was already randomly promoted, I wonder if we’ll still see Kirk or if this was his last episode in this season. They got everything out of the way. And tbh two episodes are enough lol

Next ep is the crossover (and he’s not in that one). Then I suppose it might be some M’Benga and Chapel and PTSD from the war episode (because I feel like that still needs to come up again), the 9th episode is ????, and then it’s the finale, which imho might have Batel (unless that’s 8 - you know, there’s a scene in the trailer where she is on some planet and some ship is attacking), so... Kirk isn’t really needed tbh

well, we’ll see

anyway, I was so worried about this episode, and I’m so happy they didn’t disappoint me T_T (doesn’t mean I’ll start trusting them though, but I got so much of my headcanon and even expectations validated. I’m so happy. I’m gonna be so annoying with all this Kirk info)

I mean, SNW just does that, doing what I expect (even though sometimes in a slightly different way), but it has to end one day...

[sparatus]

Crawling back into your ask box for another ask meme, ship edition: Gimme... Barrix and Kryterius bc we have absolutely no idea how you feel about these gay birds, not us, nope

oh no no way, couldn't be me,

send me a ship

barrix (macen barro/avitus rix)

gee that's hard, but i gotta say i ship it

1. What made you ship it?

honestly i hadn't even played andromeda yet when i found out there were canon gay turians and the more i learned the more i fell in love with them, then i met avitus myself and i just. yeah okay i'll recenter my entire brand to include this man

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

canon gays canon gays canon gays-- ahem, i really love the clear differences between the two of them and how they're a "really? him?" kinda couple, like on paper yeah sure a blackwatch officer and a spectre feel like a given pair, but then when you know their personalities you wouldn't expect them to get along at all but they do and avi is so clearly incredibly devoted to macen and just [gnaws on arm]

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

"hey bioware we've talked about this burying your gays thing unlock the door i just wanna talk" probably isn't THAT unpopular huh. well ik for some reason there's a kinda popular theory that they faced homophobia in the milky way when..... they canonically wouldn't have?? turians don't give a shit what you do in your personal life as long as you don't hurt anybody or yourself?? why are you all obsessed with making the gays experience homophobia i just wanna talk

kryterius (saren arterius/nihlus kryik)

hmmm gosh i wonder what soren noisynoiverns thinks of kryterius it is a mystery

1. What made you ship it?

at this point it was so long ago i genuinely could not tell you. probably something about them being canonical best friends and the inherent tragedy of saren's betrayal and the idea of their relationship being doomed by the narrative

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

where do i even begin. the mutual pining. the fear of making a move lest they ruin what they've already have. the long-standing foundation of deep friendship and respect. the way they balance each other's strengths and weaknesses. nihlus acknowledging saren is nothing worth a second look by turian standards but thinking he's the most beautiful man he's ever seen because he fell in love with his power and presence and confidence. saren being in love with nihlus's personality and how well they fit together while his being so hot he can get any partner he wants isn't even secondary. putting them in my mouth forever

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

everyone who writes them as anything other than best friends who know each other well and get along well owes me money. why do you all seem to think nihlus would be genuinely afraid of saren and wary of refusing him. or that saren is an asshole for no reason or care for how nihlus would respond. they're canonically best friends you assholes

[gar-trek]

oh noooo what abt snw is bad 😭

:smiles:

One million little things. I’ll will put them in an arbitrary numbered list for no reason.

1. Enough TOS already: we get it, tos was pretty awesome but like…. No need to beat a dead horse. Spock is the most deadest horse to ever die. The fact that there has now been THREE actors to revise the roll of Spock is a red flag. When Spock came back on TNG, in the 80s, I felt like they were jumping the shark with that. Enough Spock, let Spock rest. I don’t care about his secret siblings that’s literally dumb. He was at his ever best in tos and everything else after has been a bad interpretation only created so people can go “look it’s Spock!”. Also speaking of which

2. Spock isn’t Spock: SNW Spock serves no Spock energy anyway, so why even bring him back. Just have a different Vulcan character for the love of god…. OH WAIT you can’t because you decided to make a tos prequel and Spock was the first Vulcan in Star fleet so you literally on god cannot have another Vulcan… sucks to be you. And then…. For some unknown reason… they were like “you know what Spock needs ???? A love triangle” like dear lord in heaven the cringe factor just shot through the roof. I don’t even wanna get started about how in amok time it was very clearly implied and stated and tpring and Spock had an arranged marriage and only ever met as children. You know, the whole reason they didn’t wanna get married because there was nothing between them in the first place and being shackled to a stranger for the rest of their lives would have been awkward as hell….. instead the writers of SNW were like “what if we retconned one of the most iconic episodes of tos… and instead made it so Spock and tpring were bitter exs 😂😂😂😂” LIKE SHUT THE HELL UP! Honestly Spock not being interested in pursuing romantic/sexual relationships was very fundamental to his character. It set him apart from the others in the show and was definitely meant as a parallel to Kirk who was constantly falling in love with everyone. How many times did they have to explain the concept of love to Spock who would then be like “hmmm I don’t personally get it but you humans do seem to gain something from it.. so” AND NOW WE ARE MEANT TO BELIEVE THAT SPOCK WAS IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP AND IN LOVE ???? Literally giant retcon for something so fundamental to his character.

3. They based a show off a failed pilot from the 60s: that’s kinda all I have to say about that one. It’s just kinda funny on principle and kinda gives the whole operation doomed vibes. They were like “nooooo we can make it happen this time I swear!” Yeah. No.

4. Pike is nothing: Pike is a lame captain, I’m sorry. He constantly seems like he doesn’t know what’s going on and his plastic face is stuck in a smirk as if he’s epic, and I feel like the show keeps TELLING us how epic he is and yet he has done nothing to prove that so far. Like character will walk up to him and be like “pike you are so bad ass!” But it seems like whenever anything bad happens pike looks exactly like the below picture.



Maybe he did awesome stuff in disco that I just didn’t see yet but still…. No proof of anything bad ass. I feel like he’s not even in the show that much, really.

5. I don’t like the humor: humor is personal of course so I won’t go too much into it, but they rely on a lot of quippy one liners and characters reacting to something random happening by being like “well that was random!!!” Which to me is just like the laziest form of humor. I honestly think that classic trek managed to be very very funny at times, especially tos and ds9, and they never much relied on pointing at something, turning to the audience and going “well isn’t that crazy!”

6. Weird pacing: I feel like I’m constantly being bored to tears and yet often get taken off guard by events happening. I think this is because they try and throw in as many plot twists as possible. I do not like unnecessary forced plot twists. For example at the end of episode three they were like “the transporter didn’t work….. because m’benga is keeping his daughter in there!” Like what. Literally what. No hints to that before. No nothing. Plot twists that come out of left feild with no hinting before hand are just empty. That whole episode was filled with empty plot twists. “Number one is genetically modified!” Like okay. Do you want me to feel shock at this revelation that is never brought up again and holds no relevance in the bigger picture

7: I dont like new trek aesthetic: again just a personal preference. I can barely look at the stark white shiny chrome polished plastic of it all. I hate lense flares too and it’s disappointing that the new trek aesthetic seems to be mostly established from AOS movies… like why. I will say they have built some impressive sets and don’t seem to be relying too much on CGI to get the job done, so that’s good to see and to their credit. But yeah, I think the 60s modernism of TOS was very timelessly beautiful. I understand it was very of the era and won’t hold up the same, but I wish they would have incorporated more aspects of modernest design when creating the aesthetic for new trek. Like that wouod have cool. Oh and also most the uniforms are so 🤢🤢🤢

8. there is only 10 episodes per season: that is like, not enough time to get into a show in my opinion. No time to get to know any character or nothing. Oh and speaking of that

9. Why is there so many damn characters. I can’t even tell who’s supposed to be a major character and just kinda a background character. It leaves no time to explore their personalities since we have only got to know them for 10 episodes. I guess maybe since half of them have been mentioned before we are supposed to know them already? Like Spock? But for a character we know the most about, we sure do spend a lot of time on Spock.

I don’t know, I could probably keep going. Like I said a lot of this is just personal opinion and it’s not an awful show. It’s just I care so much about the franchise it would be hard for any show to meet my expectations. I did go into it kinda exciting but pretty neutral and wanted to watch as much as possible before I formed an opinion. I’ve seen up to episode 9 now and am definitely gonna finish it off, just for completions sake. Overall it just feels pretty stale to me, like they aren’t trying to do anything new and are just relying on recognizable stuff from the franchise to get them through. I’d really like to see them make a show that continues the journey (you know… maybe We can meet the…. Next generation… of people in starfleet?) instead of shows that keep going back or are based around well known character.

I think they are really scared to make a series that doesn’t heavily lean on TOS or TNG because those are their two most recognizable shows. However, if they made a show that took place where canon left off (after ds9) then they would have to bank on the fact that everyone watched a much less popular series. I feel like they don’t even want to touch the dominion war because they are afraid no one will know what that is, but in order to make a truly new series they do kinda have to talk about it, don’t they? So like, instead of dealing with that whole mess let’s just keep making prequels because everyone knows who Spock is. So yeah those are most my thoughts on SNW (I could keep going) if anyone reads this whole thing feel free to send angry messages and pick apart the probably countless misspellings I made here cuz I am not going back to edit all this. Bye