#but you did mention bts and I felt it was appropriate to mention my time with toxic fandoms and my thoughts on it

[redcherrykook]

── ˙✧°📷 TORN PICTURES AND FROZEN LENSES 4

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College Photography Teacher!Jungkook x Student!Reader

27 year old, stupidly handsome asshole teacher Mr. Jeon has absolutely no human decency, he believes your victim complex is what keeps you from ever achieving anything, letting people use you as a bridge. When something unexpected happens, the ice starts to melt as a foreign word called "empathy" enters his egocentric lense. Maybe he will finally manage to teach you a lesson now, since you keep failing his class.

(Mini series)- Episode four!

Song recommendation: circles- post malone

Content: Cold, mean, distant, unprofessional Jungkook, hurt, stubborn reader, enemies to lovers, lowkey dramatic, accident happens, mutually beneficial relationship (emotionally), Jk learns a lot from her, Jk is mean but has a soft spot for reader (eventually), 6 year age gap, Reader is from a struggling background, Jk kind of rescues her, happy ending, angst at first, fluff, smut, comedy/crack, bickering, college setting, brief hospital setting

Warnings: swearing, name-calling,mentions of an accident involving a biker, mentions of hospital, mentions of injuries, really mean Jungkook, i promise he gets sweet, mentions of trauma and abuse (non detailed), mental health struggles (semi detailed), arguments

Taglist: @bts-iris @kaeysv @khadeeeeej @rockstryoon

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"Jungkook?" you shout when stepping out of the bathroom, dressed in a pair of baggy, low sitting sweats and a black tanktop that you had taken with you earlier. Appropriate for late night Fried chicken runs. Your voice filling up the empty hallway, no sight of the handsome teacher.

His groan can he heard from behind his bedroom door as he opens it.

"Finally done?", he walks out, a comfortable white hoodie with matching bottoms hanging loosely on his body.

Something about these damn casual clothes just make him look attractive.

It felt like your own little secret, seeing Jungkook outside of his classroom, his perfectly correlated image.

In the comfort of his own home, messy, having just woken up or going out casually.

It made you feel giddy, even if it was not supposed to.

Jungkooks eyes glue on your neckline, collarbones so delicately on display, damp hair sprawled out.

The drops of water dropping on your shirt reminding him of him of the forbidden thoughts tangled in his mind minutes earlier.

Gulping, he points to it "Dry your hair, you´re gonna catch a cold"

"Was gonna ask you for the blow dryer" you say, noticing the way his eyes focus on your cleavage.

No, you're over analyzing things now.

"Let me get it, right here" his inked arm reaching into a cupboard of the bathroom, pulling out a hairdryer and handing it to you.

"Thanks" your smile spread across your face as you dry your hair quickly, Jungkook gathers up his wallet and car keys, waiting for you at the front door.

"Lets go get drunk" you giggle with a fist pumped up into the air, walking past him to put on your shoes on. It had been ages since you had last gotten drunk with someone.

"The shit I do with you hm? How did we even get here" he shakes his head, trying to hide the little smile playing on his pierced lip.

"No idea, but I´m trying to forget all that mess anyways. you ready?" you reply to him, opening the front door to make your way to his car.

Buckled in, excited to loosen up a bit, you hit the radio to play.

The thrid time´s a charm right?

"Yeah no shut it off" he says, reaching to turn it off with his free hand.

"Nope. Only now please, not even the ride back, Are you allergic to music?" you slap his hand away, chuckling and waiting for the news segment on the radio to conclude.

"You´re in my car idiot, turn the radio off" he groans, his face beaming with annoyance.

Instead of responding and complying to his wishes, you turn up the volume and start singing along to the song playing, arms swaying in motion as happiness fills your body up. Being around Jungkook made you able to stop worrying so much about everything, you enjoyed a moment like this. Devoid of any care in the world, any problems or uncertainty.

Glancing over to him, his eyes locked on to the road with his lips tugging back a grin.

"See? not too bad" you tease while continuing to sway to the music.

"Horrible actually, your awfully off key singing just makes it worse. Check if my ears are bleeding i feel you´re ruining them"

"Drama queen. I´m a music major, I know i can sing stop pretending" your eyes roll, looking out of the window as the next song plays. he scoffs, secretly waiting for you to resume your screeching.

Instead of singing your heart out, you hum lowly to the soft vocals playing in the car. Jungkook snorts suddenly, making you shoot him a look of anger.

"Took that to heart? Keep singing idiot, you sound fine" his eyes move to yours in an attempt to show he´s just fooling around with you, while also pulling into the drive through of the chicken place.

"You suck. I forgive you because you´re buying me food" your hands reach for the radio, turning it off to make the employee hear Jungkook´s order. He smirks slightly, shifting in his seat to turn to you. With the way he´s looking at you, you expect him to say something serious.

"Ridiculous" is all he says before placing the order.

"Are we going to get soju from a convenience store?" You ask him, noticing he's driving back in the direction of his place.

"Yeah, its closer to me. I'll let you pick the flavors even" his voice in a low but playful tone.

"That´s crazy you're sooo sweet" obviously sarcastic you touch his shoulder, eyes squinting at him.

He grins, "I'm doing great at being nice aren't i? Come on, we need to get out here" he says when parking on the side of the street.

The store had many, many flavors. You examine each one carefully, wisely choosing which one fits the current vibe of well, getting drunk with an unexpected new friend who you happen to live with now. All the while, Jungkook is peacefully clutching hands full of snacks and ramyeon.

"I think ill take two melon, one strawberry and one peach. Sound good?" You mumble, looking over at him.

Immediately you start to laugh, he is standing there looking like a hungry kid left alone in the snack aisle. Tightly gripping on to as many snacks his large hands could hold on to. To capture this hilarious moment, you pull out your phone to snap a pic.

Rolling his eyes at your gesture, he nods, "Take one more peach, i like that one the best" he adds, already scanning his snacks at self check out.

"Noted" you reply, grabbing one more peach soju and setting down the five bottles of liquor for him to scan.

When he does, you walk back to the car, a bag full of alcohol, snacks and ramyeon in Jungkook's hand.

This was going to be a long night

"I guess we're calling in sick tomorrow?" He says, pulling the car out of the parking spot and driving back to his apartment.

"Naah, we'll be fine, right? Or are you a lightweight?" you smirk at him playfully, knowing very well that four shots are enough to get you very tipsy.

"Unfortunately that is one of the very few flaws i have. Don't act like you're all hard-core huh" he scoffs, remembering how horrible his last time being drunk went. He completely lost his mind. Drank way more than he should have and ended up waking up at some random girl's couch, next to two other men.

25 was definitely a crazy age for Jungkook, lesson learned.

That is however, also how he met his best friend Mingyu. Him being one of the other guys on this woman's couch.

That's a story for another day.

"Mister perfect over here. Yeah yeah, i'm also a light weight. But I'm a funny drunk"

His eyebrows furrow, "funny drunk?" he asks

"Yeah, like when i'm drunk i get super funny and unserious. Some people are angry drunks or emotional drunks" you explain, your eyes focused on the steering wheel. Studying the way his hand wraps around it, his fingers tapping against the smooth leather whenever he stopps the car.

He hums in return,

"Which one are you?" you ask him curiously, imagining what it would be like if he was also a funny drunk, dancing on his living room table or cracking up at something stupid.

It's not nearly as impossible to imagine as when you had first met him. After this past week of spontaneously getting to know parts of him, he is not actually as boring as initially anticipated.

Still, the thought seems particularly interesting, maybe a little over exaggerated.

"Don´t know. I guess we'll find out today" he says shrugging, his lips curving into a small, meaningless smile.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

"Wahhh finally" you exclaim, letting out a huff of air when setting down the bottles of soju on the table along with the food and some snacks.

You plop down on his couch dramatically, waiting for him to sit down next to you. He does exactly that, opening one of the peach soju bottles and pouring both of you a shot.

Slowly, you reach for his hand to place the small glass in your fingers, focused on the millisecond his hand would graze yours. He hands it to you carefully before taking his own glass in his hands.

"What do you wanna toast to?" He asks, leaning back against his couch. His legs are spread, his right arm supporting his head by propping it up on a cushion.

"Gosh i can't pick one, there's so much that happend" you giggle, zoning out while looking at the table and remembering how you were hit by the biker, how you had an argument with him, the day of getting kicked out and much more.

He snaps you out of your flashbacks, "You're trying to forget all that right? Stand above it?" his question makes you nod at him.

"Then lets just toast to a new chapter" he says blankly, his eyes moving to yours, awaiting approval.

"Sure, good idea" you smile slightly, extending your arm forward to meet him in the middle as he does the same, glasses clinking together.

You pour the shot down, the alcohol slightly burning your throat in a delicious, satisfying way. It truly felt like things had gotten better.

Washing away whatever has led you here in the first place.

He does the same, his hair falling behind him messily, his neck beautifully on display as he swallows down the shot.

"So? Good right, told you this flavor is it" he says, waiting for you to say something in return. His hands reach to take his glasses off, revealing all of his softened face to your wandering eyes.

"Tastes sweet" mindlessly licking your lips, savoring the remains of alcohol on them, you look into his eyes.

You watch them go down where your tongue had just been before, shooting back up again quickly.

"Lets eat im hungry" you fake whine, setting down the glass and opening up the bag of food.

Jungkook groans in return, reaching to take out some food as well.

"Always so impatient"

The time passes rather quickly. Soon the food was finished, both of you had already drunken one soju bottle each, the next one already half empty, opened on the table.

"You know.." you say, tipsy and with a wide smile sprawled across your face. Cheeks flushed pink from the liqour you consumed.

Lightweight indeed.

Jungkook tilts his head, listening to you closely.

"I'm reaaallllly thankful for you kook" you giggle, the nickname just naturally spilling out from your lips. Your vision is blurry, but you´re almost certain you see a smile creep up his face.

He notices it too, feeling his heart turn warmer as his brain gets irritated at the feeling. To try and conceal his painfully loud heartbeat, he reaches to pour another shot. Throwing it back into his mouth, right after doing the same with the second one.

"Me tooooo" you laugh, reaching forward with grabby hands, trying to take the bottle away from him.

He stops you, pushing your arm back down, noticing his body becoming more dizzy and uncorrelated.

"You've had enough idiot, no more drinking for you" his voice is low and sultry, his eyes remaining glued to the smile on your face, not a serious thought behind your red and glazed eyes.

You´re a funny drunk for sure.

"Okay thennn but, kook?" You question, scooting closer to him on the couch. He winces at the nickname, it's not easy to ignore when you keep calling him that, keep reminding him of that feeling in his chest.

He stiffens up at your proximity, feeling the need to run away from this.

But he simply can not bring himself to do so.

"Hm?" he says, setting the bottle down and waiting for your question. He expects something stupid and senseless, his mind growing more fuzzy as the soju's effect kicks in.

"Why are you always so mean? I learned once in psychology class... you know.. people are mean to protect themselves" you slur, tugging playfully on his hoodie when asking the question.

He pulls his arm away, looking at the table and scoffing.

"Come onnn you know sooooo much about me too jungkook" you´re back to giggling again, the wide and drunken smile still spread on your face.

He takes another shot to prepare himself for this uncomfortable conversation, if he was even to engage in it.

Just in case.

The thoughts in his head are blurry, raw in emotion and unclear all at once. Memories of his past resurfacing in a haze, reminding him of the scars he carries within him.

Whether from the alcohol or the questions, his eyes become glossy.

"Had a bad upbringing, got bullied and beat a lot for stupid shit like my interests" his voice starting to slur out lowly, shaking his head at the memory of his hometown school. Jungkook sighs before taking a deep breath.

"Made me toughen up i guess" he says, his eyes wandering to meet your face again.

You were not smiling anymore, instead a big overly expressing pout on your lips. Mumbling a couple "M'so sorry kook"

He nods, ready to change the topic.

"You've a gooooood heart. Promise"

Your hands are both pressed against his chest, firmly.

Your touch feels like fire on his body, even if covered by a thick piece of clothing, he can feel it. He can feel every crevice of your skin slowly imprinting on his chest. Your words only leave behind a bigger mark, staining his brain with them.

Instead of pulling away, his eyes glue to you, remembering to engrave this moment into his mind, hoping it would still be there once he sobers up.

As he stares, he can't help but bite his lip at you flushes cheeks, how soft your hair looks, slightly draping on your lazy smile.

Suddenly, you take your hands off his chest, hugging them around yourself, dramatically shivering.

"Aahgg, so cold. Wow, are we in the arctics?" you laugh wholeheartedly at your stupid joke, convinced it must be the funniest thing you had ever said.

For the first time in a while, Jungkook acts before he thinks. Excusing it by his clouded state of mind, confident he can blame it all on the alcohol, not on his feelings.

He pulls his white hoodie above his head, leaving him in a tanktop. Without hesistation, he pulls you closer. So close, your knees are on top of his thighs, one more move and you would be sitting on his lap.

He puts the hoodie over you gently, telling you to push your arms up the sleeves.

You comply, laughing loudly.

He smiles when you get stuck in the hood,so he reaches to pull it down, revealing your messy haired head inches away from his own.

The world freezes and becomes yours only.

His face inches closer to yours, looking into your eyes softly. Your breath is quiet on his face as you are stood still, a small smile hung up on your lips. Screaming to be kissed, screaming for him to close the distance.

You might be drunk, but you aren't wasted.

Jungkook's face looks even more beautiful up close, the scar on his cheek perfecting his features, his sharp eyes looking at you as big, brown, doe ones instead.

He looks at you like you hung up the stares for him.

Your heart is clenching at the closeness, the moment feels eternal, only one more second until you would break all you had known and get what you had wanted most right now.

Jungkook licks his lip piercing, pulling away from you before clearing his throat.

It was almost like you could hear your heart shatter if you had listend close enough.

Foolish little me.

"We're both too drunk. Come on, let's get you into bed" he smiles at you softly, standing up wobbly and reaching his arm out to help you.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

The alarm rings, causing Jungkook to wake up. Still on his couch, a annoyingly heavy feeling on his head.

Stupid hangovers.

Turning off the alarm he sits up, staring at the messy table before him. Three empty bottles of soju laughing at him for his stupidity.

Nothing goes right when he drinks.

He rubs his head in annoyance, noticing that he is not wearing his hoodie.

Memories of your face close to his, your hand on his chest, flashing in his mind.

Get yourself together, Jungkook, that's all meaningless. You can't keep flirting with your student.

Groggyly he calls into the office, announcing his absence for the day before cleaning up the mess that yesterday's night has left.

Throwing out the empty containers of food, gathering the two left over bottles and putting them into the fridge.

When taking the last steps to a clean living room, still thinking about the way your voice sounded saying his name yesterday, he knocks over an empty bottle of soju.

Crash.

You shoot up from the loud noise, immediately groaning at the penetrating headache that was the result of yesterdays escapades.

Should've known better.

When rubbing your eyes and yawning, you quickly walk out to room to look for the noise, spotting Jungkook crouched down, cleaning up the shattered glass.

"Ah fuck. Sorry i woke you up" he says, voice still raspy from sleep, turning his body to look at you. You stood there, sleepy and still in his comically large hoodie.

He wanted to stop thinking about you.

"Yeah its okay, you good? What time is it?" You stretch your arms up, only now noticing that you're still wearing his clothes.

Remembering the way you wanted him to kiss you just hours earlier.

"I´m good. Its dawn crack in the fucking morning because i thought I would be able to work today. No way in hell am i leaving this house" he groans, throwing away the glass shards.

You hum, awkwardly creating silence between the both of you.

Luckily he breaks it soon enough.

"Nice dress you got there" he remarks with a smirk, obviously making fun of you.

You scoff, pulling the hoodie over your head and throwing it at him.

He chuckles briefly at your actions, remembering how he threw a shirt at you before.

"Fair enough" he mumbles as you walk past him to the bathroom,

"Emotional" stopping next to him to pat his shoulder.

He glances at you, confused

"Are you talking in riddles to piss me off?"

"You're an emotional drunk, kook" you say, closing the door on him once again.

When having done your morning pee and it's time for you to walk back out of the bathroom, he´s sat on the couch.

"Why are you calling me by a nickname so suddenly?" he blurts out, his eyes sternly glaring at you. You scoff, wondering why he's so worked up about it.

Jungkook wanted nothing more than to forget what had happened, to not have to confront his feelings.

But if you were gonna call him 'kook', he would be constantly reminded of it.

Even if he liked the way it sounded, replaying in his mind.

"Because it suits you" your reply seems to anger him even more, unsure what you meant by your words.

"I'm not your little friend y/n. Don't get to comfortable" he spits out rudely, fully regretting it the moment his words leave his mouth.

Why was it so difficult to ignore you?

You roll your eyes at him, not taking it to heart. Well aware he's just saying things to hurt you.

After the way he opened up yesterday, even if drunk, you trusted him.

Trusted that he trusted you too.

His defenses are hard to lower, but you want to. Even if that means sometimes taking hits.

Jungkook needed someone to understand him, just like you needed someone like him as well.

Someone that accepts the way you are, while trying to help ypu change into a better version of you.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to strike a nerve" you reply casually, walking into the kitchen.

"I'm cooking hangover soup. If you're done being an asshole go get you some" your voice shouting from the kitchen.

"Whatever" he says, laying back down on the couch.

Googling up a recipe, you began cooking, occasionally looking at Jungkook passed out once again on his couch.

"Ridiculous" you huff out, lips pursed.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

"I'm NOT going to do that, no way Taehyung" you laugh at the guy in front of you.

Two days have passed since drinking with Jungkook. It's now friday afternoon, you're sitting in the library with the freshmen from the orientation.

Taehyung came up to you after class, asking to study for a test together. He´d been eyeing you ever since, still calling you ´´pretty´´ instead of your actual name.

The days have passed as normal, bickering with Jungkook and talking about things here and there.

You would be lying if you said that it hasn't been a little awkward.

It was getting harder to ignore the way you felt when Jungkook was around you, the way his strong veiny hands looked, the way he groaned at his laptop, adjusting his glasses.

How you wanted to trace every line of his sleeve tattoo.

The way you smelled his shirt he had given you to sleep in.

He was slightly more distant, restraining himself countless of times.

From thinking about you, wrapped around him.

"What? Why not. It's just a party" Taehyung smiles, closing down his laptop and taking a sip of his drink.

"Exactly. A freshmen party. I'm not a fan of parties, i pass. Hope you'll have fun though" you give him a thumbs up, shaking your head.

It was obvious that Taehyung wanted to take you there to get a chance at getting in your pants.

After seeing him on campus, he was always talking to some girl. It had only been two days that you hung out, counting today.

His flirty personality making it evident that although he could potentially be a good friend,

He was definitely not looking to date you.

Or anyone at all.

"A shame. You're kinda boring. Cute, but boring" he winks, packing up his stuff with you following suit.

"Thanks you party animal. Can't wait to hear about how many girls you've slept with after. Text me yeah? Stay safe" pulling him into a hug, you both walk outside of the library.

"Okay mom, will do"

Your face scrunches up in disgust at the nickname,

"Never do that again" you say hitting his arm, earning a loud laugh from him

Once you made sure Taehyung has left your eyesight, you walk behind the building to get into Jungkook's car.

Two minutes past the agreed upon time, you find him biting the inside of his cheek in annoyance.

"Hey, sorry I'm a wee bit late. Had to fight off demons" you joke while buckling in your seat.

"What happened this time?" Jungkook's eyebrow lifts curiously, he remembered Taehyung stopping you at the end of his class.

The thought pissed him off heavily,

"I was studying with Taehyung but he wanted me to come to a party with him" you explain, watching as his eyes darken and his hand tightening on the steering wheel.

"Is that so?" his voice sounding husky, "Are you going? I need to be prepared if i have to come pick you up disguised" he scoffs, looking out the window.

"Of course not. He's just saying that to get me tipsy in hopes of getting in bed with me" you giggle, amused by Jungkook's reaction.

When he stays silent, you decide to tease him.

"What? You look like something's bothering you kook" purposely using his nickname to push his buttons further.

His eyes look down at you, licking the inside of his cheek with his tongue.

"Yeah? You're bothering me. I don´t wanna hear about some college boy in your pants, none of my business" he says, driving off to his apartment.

Another lie passing his lips, he definitely cared if you were going to sleep with some campus playboy.

Surpised at the fact he's not fighting you on the nickname, you decide to test your limits. Pushing his buttons could end up in a fight, if not, the smile he gives will have made it worth the risk.

"I told him to text me how many girls he'll sleep with. What do you think kook? Im guessing four" you nervously watch his features, concentrating on any changes that might indicate anger or annoyance.

"You're gross. I'm not playing that game with you. Also, i know exactly what you're trying to do. I don't mind the nickname, stupid"

You smile at his reaction, patting his shoulder,

"Good. I wouldn't have stopped using it anyways"

[doomhands-jr]

The Choreographer -- Pt 14

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader | Jimin X Reader | Yoongi X Reader .

Rating: Explicit (not for this chapter though)  

Warnings: *deep breath* angst, smut, protected vaginal intercourse, blowjobs, eating out, emotional outbursts, post-coital emotional flooding, more angst, choking, scratching, biting, kissing, marijuana use, drinking, playful roasting, holding hands, and did I mention angst? Seriously your heart breaks a little for each of them. 

Summary: You were the assistant choreographer for BTS tasked with taking over for the lead while on tour. You'd sacrificed everything for this job, and you didn't want to risk it, but the temptation has proved to be too sweet.

Now you have to juggle the social, physical, and emotional consequences of your affairs. Jealousy between the members, social isolation, and potential feelings? No, that last one was not something you'd allow. You already had enough on your plate. You had to squash that down.

But feelings demand to be felt. And you cannot run away forever.

________

OR

________

How I dumped all my trauma into a single fanfic.

Masterlist

A/N: *sings* who is ready for things to get SO much more complicated? Me! I’m ready! This might be my favorite chapter I’ve ever written. Wooohooo! Let’s gooooooooooo! 

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The lights of the arcade flashed all around you—magenta, tangerine, and turquoise took turns in your periphery while you chewed on your straw. Rum and coke. It had been your go-to since before you were old enough to legally drink.

It had been three weeks since Jungkook had left your room. You’d just flown to Osaka. This was the second-to-last stop before Shizuoka, and then finally home to Seoul. You couldn’t wait for this godforsaken tour to be over. Once in Seoul, you’d have an entire month off to rest and recuperate before you had to head back out, and were singularly focused on getting through this tour so you could spend the next month doing absolutely nothing.

You and Jungkook hadn’t spoken to each other at all since that night, save for overly-polite greetings whenever you had to save face in front of staff and the other members.

Despite the time, it hadn’t gotten easier.

You took another sip of your drink and savored the carbonation that prickled on your tongue.

“Babe! Over here!”

You looked over to see Jia. She stood beside a large arrangement of dance-based games and waved you over.

“Come on! I need a player 2!” 

She jumped up and down as you approached her, eager for you to join.

“I don’t know if this would be a fair fight, Ji,” you taunted.

“Wanna bet?” Her smile held a sinister edge. “I used to play this game all the time back home.”

“Yeah, but I’m more coordinated.”

“Okay, well prove it then,” she said, gesturing for you to take your place on the platform beside her.

As it turned out, Jia was right. Your dance skills didn’t translate to being able to follow the directions of the arrows and match your feet to the appropriate pads on the floor.

“Shit, Jia, you weren’t kidding.”

“Years of practice.” She wasn’t even breaking a sweat, and she had set her difficulty to hard.

You lost spectacularly. Jia had a near-perfect score, while you received a 43%.

“Care to try again?” she asked.

“I’d rather watch you kick Jin’s ass,” you said. “Where are they, by the way?”

“I think they’re arriving soon. They had to drive separately since they need tinted windows. Paparazzi, you know?”

“Ah.”

You enjoyed watching Jia play against a few other crew members while nursing your drink. You much preferred this to going to the club like the crew normally did on Saturday nights. The crew seemed to relax more when it was just people from the tour.

Hanyuel had set up a makeshift bar on one of the ping pong tables and was handing out drink after drink. The others were being used for beer pong. Daejung, a member of the stage crew was absolutely dominating his counterpart, a camera man named Jay.

Two of the stylists you knew only by face played a racing game, while the resident personal trainer shot hoop after hoop at a basketball game. You still weren’t too familiar with the rest of the crew, but you knew they each played an integral role in the crazy traveling circus you’d been caught in.

As you were observing everyone, you caught movement out of the corner of your eye. All seven members were arriving through a side alley entrance. Once they made their way in, they received applause from the crew for having pulled off yet another amazing performance.

Polite as ever, they applauded the crew for having been instrumental in the show’s success. You could tell they still weren’t quite used to being applauded by people they considered friends and colleagues. Fans were one thing, but this was different.

You wanted to go up and say hi, but determined it was better to hang back and spend more time with the crew. You didn’t want to monopolize their time or attention. Besides, it was fun hanging with Jia and some of her friends.

After a few moments of greeting, the members spread out around the crowd. Hoseok made his way over to your group and challenged Jia to a dance off.

“I don’t know about that Hobi,” you warned. “I already made that mistake.”

“I’ll bet you 10 tokens I win,” said Hobi. You cringed in anticipation of his defeat.

He actually held is own against Jia. Apparently, he wasn’t a rookie like you had been, and he was pretty quick on his feet. You weren’t sure what you expected, but it definitely hadn’t been that.

Jia had years of experience, but Hoseok picked it up quickly, and he had more control over his body than she did. He lost the first round, but challenged her to a second and won.

“We’re tied. Best of three?” he said. “Winner take all.”

“You’re on.”

It was a tight race. They both amped up the difficulty level to expert and chose an up-beat song. Arrows flew across the screen at an alarming rate as they pounded a steady tattoo on the sensors at their feet. At first Jia was in the lead, but Hoseok surpassed her. Their feet moved fast and accurately, so much so that your eyes could barely follow their movements.

It was neck and neck. Most of the group was cheering for Jia, but Hoseok had a few supporters, Jimin being one of them. He’d just joined the crowd of onlookers, which had steadily increased in number as the game went on.

“You got this, Hope!” he shouted from beside you.

You looked over at him and he smiled back at you.

“Who do you think will win?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Jia’s got more experience, but Hobi’s fast. My bet’s on Jia.”

“I’ll take that bet,” he said holding out a hand. “One token.”

“Deal,” you agreed and shook his hand. It was the most contact you’d had with Jimin since the beginning of the tour. Had he noticed too?

In the end Hoseok won out by a margin of one percentage point. Jia made a show of begrudgingly handing over her tokens, which Hoseok took with glee. You grabbed Jimin by the wrist and pressed one of your own tokens into his palm.

“Thank you, ma’am,” he said. His smile was so bright that you couldn’t help but laugh. Even though you lost, you were happy that things finally felt normal between the two of you again. Like it had felt before everything had happened. It gave you hope that you could eventually get back to this place with Jungkook, too.

The crowd dispersed a little bit. Jimin went to go play a first-person shooter game with Yoongi. Hoseok and Namjoon were by the liquor table while Hanyuel poured each of them a drink, and Jia had gone off to find Tae, which gave you time to make your way around the room and talk to a few other people you’d gotten to know a bit over the last couple of months. You were on your third drink when you were pulled over to the karaoke booths with Tae, Jia, and Jin.

“I need you to lend me your vocal talents for a duet.”

“’Vocal talents’ is a bit of a reach, Jin,” you replied.

“Whatever you can bring to the table. Doesn’t have to be good. Please?” he said, extending the last word into a whine.

“Jin, I don’t think you know just how terrible of a singer I am,” you said.

“I don’t care! Be the worst singer possible! I just need someone to do a duet with me,” he said, sticking his lower lip out in a pout for extra effect. You were hit with the full force of Jin’s puppy-dog stare, and how could anyone say no to that?

“Suit yourself,” you said with a shrug. You looked around the room to see who was in the vicinity, not wanting to embarrass yourself in front of too many people, but it seemed like everyone else was off in their own world.

Clambering into the booth, you watched as Jin picked out the song he wanted. It was a ballad that you were familiar with. You already knew you wouldn’t be able to hit the high notes.

“Shit, Jin. This is going to be a disaster.” He chuckled in response.

“I think that’s the point.”

The music started. He began his part in a low tenor. As always, he sounded like an angel. He finished out his verse with no issue. Then came your turn. It took you three notes before you were already off-key.

You managed you get back on key before the end of the verse, and Jin had to take deep breaths to regain composure for his next verse since he’d been stifling laughter from the moment you began singing.

“You said you wouldn’t laugh!”

Karma was swift. He messed up his own verse because he couldn’t stop laughing. You figured you might as well just lean into it at that point, so when your next turn came around, you sang even louder, and much worse. Your voice cracked as you belted out a high note that was at least two notes below what it should have been.

Jin joined you, voice jumping up an octave. You both sang as loudly and as terribly as you could for the rest of the song, and when it ended, you were met with boos from the booth next door, where Taehyung and Jia had supposedly been playing (though you were pretty sure you hadn’t heard any singing coming from that booth).

“Thanks for being a good sport,” Jin said.

“Anytime.”

“I’ll save you from having to endure another game with me,” he said. “I think I’m going to get myself a drink.”

You breathed a sigh of relief. You didn’t think you could make it through another song. Your throat was already raw from the first one.

Jin was the first to exit the booth. You made to follow him when you just about ran headfirst into someone’s chest. You looked up to see Yoongi, grinning like the cat that caught the canary.

“Don’t tell me you caught that,” you said, backing into the book and making room for him to enter.

“When did you get so good at singing?” he asked. It took a moment for your brain to register his hand already planted firmly on your hip.

“Don’t,” you said, even though you couldn’t suppress the smile creeping along your face.

“No, really. I’ve never heard anyone sound so incredible,” he continued. “You simply must give me the name of your vocal coach.”

“Stop it,” you whined.

“Think you could give me some pointers?” he asked, placing his other hand over his chest. His tone was laced with false sincerity.

“God damn it, Yoongi,” you said, knowing he was relishing the opportunity to tease you. You crossed your arms in front of you and pouted. “Ha, ha. That’s very funny.”

“Forgive me,” he said, thumb brushing over your hipbone. You couldn’t help the blush that crept up your cheeks.

The intimacy of the moment wasn’t lost on Yoongi. His laughter died down to a smile as he placed the other hand on your opposite side. It was forward, even for Yoongi, but not unwelcome in the least.

Your back hit the wall of the karaoke booth, and you sank into it. Yoongi’s warmth and the dark of the booth giving you the odd feeling of hibernation.

“Hey,” he said, softening.

“Hey.”

You couldn’t help but smile in his presence. In all the chaos, Yoongi had become the only thing keeping you grounded.

In any other instance, this sort of touch would seem dangerous, but this one felt right in a way you couldn’t explain.

“How have you been?” he asked.

“I’ve been okay,” you said. “Better, at least. You?”

He ran his tongue along his teeth. His thumbs tightened their grip on your hips for just a moment.

You read that for what it was.

“Still having issues with the mixtape?” you asked.

He sighed and leaned into you. You stroked his back comfortingly.

“They postponed it again.” Ah. That would explain why he was extra touchy. He probably needed it just as much as you.

“How long?” you asked, stroking his back comfortingly.

“Indefinitely.”

“Fuck, man. I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t know what I was expecting, to be honest,” he said, face still buried in your shoulder. “All the signs pointed to that outcome.”

“I don’t think it’s wrong to have expected them to keep their word.”

“Naïve, then.” He sank more of his weight against you.

“Do you want to go back to the hotel?” you asked. You’d talked to everyone you wanted to talk to. Besides, spending time with Yoongi sounded like less of a drain on your social battery. He nodded into your shoulder.

“Let’s go, then. I’ve had my fill of fun.”

You led him out of the karaoke booth and weaved in and out between the other crewmembers partaking in the various games the arcade had to offer.

Jimin and Tae were in the middle of a racing game. The tip of Jimin’s tongue poked out between his teeth in his concentration. You chuckled. He was cute.

Yoongi now led the way, rushing to the side door. You hurried to keep up with him, but stopped short when you caught sight of the basketball hoops.

Jungkook had his arms wrapped around Yeona, hands covering hers as she held the orange ball between them. He guided her movements, dipping down with a slight bend in the knees, and springing up to release the ball. It soared in the air, bouncing once on the rim of the hoop, and tipped to the side.

Yeona turned toward him, still in between his arms and pouted. He mirrored her pout before his lips pulled up into a bunny smile.

Long fingers wrapped around your wrist. You looked over to their owner. Yoongi stared at you intensely, making sure your focus was on him and not on the scene happening behind you.

He began to pull you once again towards the exit. This time, you kept your eyes on him, refusing to look back, no matter how much you wanted to.

Outside, a black SUV had pulled up to the door. Yoongi opened the door for you and guided you inside. You slid over to make room for him.

“Back to the hotel?” asked the driver. You guessed these were their own personal chauffeurs, rather than the hotel shuttle the rest of the crew used.

“Yes, thank you,” Yoongi said, and slipped a folded bill to the driver.

The SUV pulled away from the city block. Streetlights passed by as you made your way back to the hotel in relative silence.

Images of Jungkook and Yeona staring at each other replayed in your head.

Fuck.

Your nails dug themselves into your palms.

You’d thought it was just a one-night thing. You didn’t think there was anything between the two of them.

A lump rose in your throat.

Yoongi squeezed your hand again. You looked back at him, and he offered up a somber smile.

There was nothing you could do about it now. You resolved to be present with Yoongi, rubbing the back of his hand with your thumb and trying to mirror his sentiment.

The ride to the hotel was quiet, both you and Yoongi content to exist separate, but alongside one another.

When you pulled up to the hotel, Yoongi escorted you by the hand through the lobby, into the elevators, and down the hallway, coming to a stop before the door to his suite.

He took a few minutes to fumble around in his wallet for his keycard. “Which hotel are we at again?” he asked, He flipped through what looked to be all the key cards he had used while on tour.

“You don’t turn them in at checkout?” you asked, scandalized.

“Don’t tell mom,” he said with a cheeky grin. “Ah, it’s this one.”

He pulled out a bright blue and yellow key card and shoved it into the slot on his door before the small lights on the panel lit up green. He just barely cracked the door open before stopping and turning to you.

“Do you want to come in?” he asked.

You recognized the real question hidden beneath his words. It was the first time either of you were openly acknowledging the possibilities that existed just beyond that door. There was no telling what would happen if you spent the night with him. For a brief second, you contemplated cutting the night short and going back to your room.

A knot twisted in your stomach, but you knew your answer.

“Yes,” you said firmly.

He scanned your face, looking for any cracks in your resolve, and when he found none, he nodded.

He just barely got the door open a few more centimeters, however, when the door across the hall opened.

“Oh!” said a soft voice behind you.

Looking over your shoulder, you watched Hoseok’s eyes as they looked from you to Yoongi, and then to your intertwined hands. A parade of emotions flitted over his facial features. Surprise. Confusion. Disappointment.

“Walk away,” Yoongi said before Hoseok had a chance to finish registering.

“Yoongi…,” he said with a note of accusation.

“This doesn’t concern you.” Yoongi’s voice was firm. Determined.

“Don’t do this.” Hoseok’s eyes were pleading. You knew he desperately wanted to finish out the tour without any more drama.

Yoongi turned to you. He brought your joined hands to his lips. “Go wait in the room,” he said softly. “I’ll just be a minute.”

You made no move.

Yoongi sighed again. “Okay fine. Stay here then.”

He turned again to Hoseok. “I know what this looks like. And you’re right. But it’s more complicated than that.”

“What’s complicated about it? You heard what Namjoon said. We all agreed.”

“I know, okay? I’m aware.”

“So then what are you doing?”

“Look. I get that you’re not happy about this, but you need to walk away.”

Hoseok looked taken aback. Yoongi had never outright gone against Namjoon’s wishes. He seemed at a loss for words for a moment, finally sighing and shaking his head. “I can’t lie for you.”

“I’m not asking you to. Just don’t go out of your way to tell anyone what you saw.”

“You know who I’m worried about,” he said.

“If he finds out, I’ll deal with it.”

You could see Hoseok was backed into a corner on this one, and you hated that the two of you were doing that to him, but you shared the same stance as Yoongi on this one.

When the realization that he had no other options fully dawned on Hoseok, he rolled his eyes.

“If he outright asks, I can’t help you.”

“Good enough for me,” Yoongi said with an air of finality, and abruptly grabbed your hand once more, pulling you into the room with him. You had just enough time to register the disappointment that had reappeared on Hoseok’s face. You hoped he could one day forgive you for this.

You hoped you could forgive yourself.

____

Once inside, the energy shifted to something quieter. The air between the two of you grew heavy.

You didn’t realize you were waiting for Yoongi to take the lead until he finally spoke.

“I, uh…, still have that other joint. If you wanted to finish it.”

“Oh! Yeah, actually. That would be great. Thank you.”

Yoongi went to rifle around in his suitcase, ultimately procuring a glasses case. Inside was the joint and a lighter.

It was oddly intimate, seeing where he stored his drugs. Like you were one of the only people he’d ever shared that little bit of information with.

“Shall we?” he asked, gesturing for you to follow him into the bathroom of the suite.

Inside, he turned the shower on its hottest setting, allowing the room to fill up with steam before flicking on the vent fan.

“Where’d you learn this trick?” you asked.

“Back home in Daegu,” he said. “I smoked a lot to deal with the stress of living with my parents. In the winters, it would be too cold to go outside, so sometimes I would smoke in the shower to hide the smell. You?”

“In college,” you said. “My roommate taught me a bunch of ways to cover the smell.”

“What was your go-to?” he asked.

“Fabric softener in a toilet paper roll.”

He chuckled, placing the end of the joint between his lips and lighting it. “Nice,” he said, still holding his breath while the smoke filled his lungs, before finally exhaling a cloud of smoke. It curled into the air before being sucked up by the vent fan along with the rest of the shower steam.

He passed the joint to you. You took a drag, immediately feeling the relaxation set in. It was much-needed.

You weren’t sure why you were going through with this. The logical side of you knew that it was objectively a bad idea, yet you also knew that there was no way in hell you were backing out. You were done suffering. You needed a break, even if it was just for the night. You owed yourself that much, consequences be damned.

“Sorry about Hoseok,” he said.

Whether it was the weed or the situation, you couldn’t help but snort.

“I’m sorry,” you said, recovering. “But could his timing possibly be worse?”

Yoongi shrugged, grinning at you.

You sank down to the bathroom floor, resting your back against the tub. He followed, sitting beside you.

“Tell the truth,” you asked. “Are we in deep shit?”

Yoongi said nothing, but the corners of his mouth pulled down in an exaggerated wince. You took another deep drag, held it in for a few moments, and exhaled, offering the joint to him.

He took one more drag before squeezing the cherry out from the end and placing the half-spent joint on the counter. Then he wrapped his hand around yours. You chanced a glance up at him. He was focused on where his thumb swiped back and forth across yours.

“One, two, three, four,” he muttered. “I declare a thumb war.”

You sprang to action, trying in vain to wrap your thumb around his. You managed to evade him for a few seconds before his long fingers ultimately won out and pinned your thumb down against your intertwined hands.

After savoring his victory, he resumed caressing your hand with his.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen, to be honest,” he said and stood, offering you his other hand. He pulled you to your feet with a surprising amount of strength. “But when it does, we’ll deal with it the best we can.”

He turned the shower off and led you over to the bed, where you sat.

“Need anything to sleep in?” he asked.

“That would be great. Thanks.”

Once again, he rifled around in his luggage, this time producing an oversized cotton shirt and a pair of gray sweats.

For a moment, you considered going to the bathroom to change. Were you ready for him to see you? He already had done so once, back in LA after your drunken rendezvous, but this felt different. This meant something.

You looked over to Yoongi, who had pulled out another soft cotton shirt. Without glancing at you, he stripped off the one he was wearing.

You’d seen him shirtless, but you were drunk for that and couldn’t remember too much.

He was pale. Slender.

His abdomen sloped down from soft ribs to the slightest bit of pudge right below his navel. A very faint scar ran across his right side, right next to his hip bone.

That was as much studying of his body as you could do before bare skin was replaced with black cotton.

His hands dropped to his belt. Long fingers slipped the leather out of the buckle with ease before working the button on his jeans. He slid his pants down his thighs to reveal generic plaid boxers. He placed the discarded clothes in a pile next to his suitcase and looked at you.

“Okay if I sleep in my boxers?”

“Yeah,” you croaked past a mouth that was suddenly drier than before. “That’s fine.”

He nodded. You waited a beat.

He continued to observe you, patient. It was your turn. Taking a breath to steady yourself, you unbuttoned your jeans and pushed them off your hips. You could hear Yoongi inhale sharply through his nose, but you didn’t dare look at him. You didn’t have to—you could feel his gaze boring into your skin.

You didn’t give him too much time before you replaced your jeans with the sweatpants he’d lent you, though you also didn’t hesitate before pulling your top over your head. After a moment’s pause, you decided to remove your bra.

His adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, but that was the only break in his poker façade. You gave him a moment to take in the sight of you, as he had done, before slipping the white cotton shirt over your head and finally meeting his gaze.

He looked at you calmly, but with intention. Like he wanted you to know he was looking at you on purpose.

He gestured for you to get in the bed, which you did while he fetched two large glasses of water.

“Room service?” he asked.

You smiled. “I’m not hungry, but I could go for a cup of chamomile.”

“Coming right up.”

His suite was equipped with an electric kettle and an assortment of teas. As Yoongi busied himself filling it and heating up the water, you took the opportunity to snuggle into his king-sized bed.

Pressing your toes into the sheets, the soft pillow-topped mattress sank down beneath you. The sheets were cool to the touch; the down comforter on top of you warm and heavy.

The bedding smelled like expensive detergent—the kind that barely smelled like anything. You caught a whiff of lavender and sandalwood. Searching for the source, you found a large white candle on the desk across from the bed.

“Did you bring a candle with you?” you asked.

“Came in a gift basket sent by the hotel,” he said, not looking up from where he was preparing the tea bag.

Funny, you had always assumed hotels didn’t allow candles, but you supposed the rules were different for celebrities.

“Can I light it?” you asked.

He shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

You hopped out of bed and grabbed the lighter off the bathroom counter. Candles were a comfort you didn’t realized you’d missed so much while on the road.

It wasn’t three minutes before the room had been enveloped in the soothing aroma. Yoongi inhaled deeply as he brought two mugs of tea over to the bed.

“I’ve never been much of a lavender guy, but this one isn’t half bad.”

“Really?” you asked, taking a steaming mug from his outstretched hand and sitting up cross-legged in the bed.

“You seem surprised,” he said, sipping his own mug.

“I don’t know,” you said. “I never pictured you being so particular.”

“I’ve just always preferred woody and musky over floral.”

“Ah,” you said, scooting over to make room for him. He sat facing you, cross-legged on the bed. His hair was slightly mussed from when he changed earlier and you couldn’t think of a time when he looked more real to you.

“So do you want to talk about it?” you asked. “The label?”

“Not really,” he said in between sips of tea. “I’ve had to process enough disappointment this tour. I think I’m going to find some joy first.”

“That sounds like much better idea.”

He smiled sideways and lifted his mug up in salute. You followed.

“Joy’s been hard to come by these days,” you said.

He sighed. “It’s hard when your version of joy doesn’t match up with the things that are supposed to be fun.” He used air quotes around ‘supposed to.’

“What do you mean?”

“The arcade. I know it’s Hanyuel’s way of helping everyone blow off steam and have fun. And it’s not that it’s not fun. But it’s just…,”

“...not the kind of fun you need?” you asked.

He nodded.

“What kind of fun do you need?” you asked.

He glanced over at you, deadpanning.

A bundle of nerves tugged at your stomach.

Oh. Right.

“How’re we doing on time?” he asked.

You looked back at the clock behind him. It was nearing midnight.

“I’d say we have probably an hour before he finds out. Two if we’re lucky.”

“Better make it count, then.”

It was your turn to raise your mug in salute. You drained the remainder of your tea and handed him the mug to set beside him on the end table, along with his own.

Then he stretched out on the bed and wiggled a bit until he felt comfortable. “Come here.”

You wasted no time in snuggling into his side. With your head on his chest, you could hear his heartbeat racing. He was nervous too. The fact gave you some sense of comfort.

“It okay if we just stay like this for a while?” you asked.

“Sounds perfect to me,” he said, stroking your hair with his palm. “We don’t have to do anything, you know.”

“I know,” you said, lacing your fingers through his. “Thank you.”

He nuzzled his nose into your hair, punctuating the action with a kiss on your head. You snuggled lower into the bed, pulling the covers up to your shoulder, heart fluttering in temporary safety. “Can we listen to something?” you asked.

“Like what? Music? Podcast?”

You shrugged. “Anything is fine.”

He took out his phone and connected it to a Bluetooth speaker on his nightstand. “Ambient jazz okay?”

“Perfect.”

The first few notes of a soft piano melody played through the speakers, slow and romantic. The kind you could see yourself swaying back and forth to with a lover. A kind of dance that was entirely foreign to you. You’d taken lessons on every single style of dance you could find. Perfected choreography with the technical skills of a master. And yet you’d never done the simplest of dances. The kind that erupts spontaneously between two people who simply want to connect.

You could see it happening with Yoongi. It would be so easy with him. Almost effortless.

You wished the timing had been better. That you’d connected with Yoongi first before everything with Jungkook had happened. That you didn’t have a mess of emotion to clean up before you could even consider being with anyone, let alone your best friend.

At least you had tonight. In his room, burrowed under his sheets, with his arm around you, you could forget about all of that, at least for the moment. And you were determined to make the most of it.

“Yoongi?” you asked.

“Mmm—yeah?” he mumbled, voice thick with near sleep.

You didn’t know what you wanted to say. ‘I love you?’ ‘Kiss me?’ ‘Stay here forever?’

“Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

_________

People often told Hoseok that he worried too much. That he needs to assume that things will be okay, but the truth is that Hoseok could smell out trouble long before anyone else. He clenched his fists as he paced back and forth at the hotel bar, trying to figure out if he should warn Namjoon about what was likely to happen.

What would Namjoon even be able to do? Make sure Jungkook stays clear in case they come out of the room? Keep him out so that he wouldn’t have to hear anything through the hotel’s thin walls?

He scrubbed a palm over his hand for the millionth time and ordered himself a drink.

He told Yoongi he would stay out of it. And stay out of it he will. And when shit inevitably hits the fan, he is going to keep his head down and mind his business until this unlucky tour is over and he can finally catch a break.

_________

You must have drifted off, because when you next opened your eyes, the room was dark. The light was off, and Yoongi had blown out the candle on the nightstand. The music continued to play softly through the speaker as you scanned the room for what had woken you up.

Slowly, your consciousness drifted downwards, to the thigh resting between your knees.

You inhaled deeply and squeezed your eyes shut. It was mere inches from you. God, it was like the universe was taunting you. Doing everything it could do to get you to crack under the pressure.

You shifted slightly, trying to ease some of the discomfort that was only growing more pronounced by the second. It did nothing to quell the ache.

Could you roll over without waking Yoongi? Move to the other side of the bed? Even go to the bathroom to relieve yourself? Hell, if the coast was clear, you could even go to your room without anyone noticing.

You shifted again, body begging for you to do something. His thigh was right there, tucked neatly in between yours.

Was Yoongi awake? You glanced over at the clock on the nightstand. It had been an hour and a half since you’d gone to bed. He must be asleep, right? He wouldn’t have stayed up that late. You wanted to check, but you didn’t want to disturb him.

You shifted once more, trying in vain to ease the tension that had begun to take over your whole form.

Alas.

That must have been one too many times, because without warning, Yoongi tightened his hold on you. You froze in place, breathing as quietly and gently as possible.

Slowly, without moving anything else, Yoongi hiked his leg up so that his thigh rested firmly against you.

You couldn’t stop the breath that hitched in your throat.

It was as if you were frozen in time.

“Move,” he whispered.

“Okay.”

You fisted your hand into the neck of his shirt and rocked into him. And the part of you that had been drowning for months finally surfaced for air.

You rolled your hips again and a whimper fell from you lips. Fuck, it was needed. After weeks of denying yourself, you could almost cry out in gratitude.

Yoongi’s hand wrapped firmly around your thigh and hoisted it up over his hips. You could feel him already hard beneath you and wondered how long he’d been awake. Had he woken up when you did? Was he wrestling with the same indecisiveness about what needed to happen between the two of you?

But then he climbed on top of you, and you had a hard time remembering what you’d even been thinking about because his hands had braced themselves on either side of your arms and his face hovered over yours, his breaths labored. Fuck. Shit.

“This okay?” he whispered, lips just barely brushing against yours, and you skin vibrated where he touched it.

Ah.

“Yeah,” you breathed, struggling to stay aware of your surroundings, because his hips had now taken the place of his thigh and they were grinding into you.

Yoongi wrapped one of his perfect hands around the back of your neck and slid his thumb along the column of your throat, up towards your jaw and over to your mouth.

“I remember this,” you muttered against it as he traced over your lips.

“Is that so?” he asked, stretching your bottom lip towards your chin, taking in its softness. “You gave me hell that day,” he said, hooking his thumb around your bottom row of teeth and using force to open your mouth even wider, just as he had done back in LA the first time you’d smoked together.

“I give you hell every day,” you countered.

He rocked into you, causing you to jolt upwards at the contact. You were extra sensitive. “One of my favorite things about you.”

You arched back, exposing more of your throat to him, which he gladly attached his lips to. Pulling you closer with one arm, he grabbed your hand with the other and pinned it above your head before caressing you from wrist to waist. Once he got to the hem of your (his) shirt, he wasn’t shy about slipping his hand underneath and cupping your breast.

He immediately realized that this level of contact wasn’t quite enough for him, and before you had time to process what was happening, he had slipped the shirt entirely off your body, lips coming to close around a nipple.

“Aren’t we eager?” you teased.

“It has been two years since I’ve had a titty in my mouth,” he murmured, not bothering to remove his lips from you as he said it. You grinned at his cheekiness and cradled his head in your hands, taking in how the strands of his hair slipped easily past your fingers. You’d have to ask him later what conditioner he used.

Sighs escaped from your throat almost without your notice. Saliva pooled in your mouth and you had to swallow thickly to accommodate the excess. Yoongi’s tongue circled your nipple, gently sucking and causing it to pebble between his lips.

Once he was satisfied with the first, he moved over to the second, giving it equal attention. With one final long suck, he backed off your breasts, admiring his work for a moment before taking one in each hand and pushing them together, at which you had to laugh.

“Can I help you?” you asked.

“Oh, you already are,” he said before planting his face in the cleavage he had made.

Yoongi was, by all rights, a kid in a candy store.

“You have the best boobs, you know that?” he said, voice muffled on either side by your breasts.

“Can we continue, or are you just going to play with my boobs all day?” you asked.

He finally looked up and caught your eye. “It’s tempting,” he said, before reattaching his lips to your neck and nipping at the skin.

At the same time, he hooked your thigh over his hip and rocked into you once again, and immediately, you were back under his spell, marveled at how Yoongi could oscillate back and forth between two seemingly polar opposites. He was sexually assertive while still retaining a playful innocence you would find refreshing, if it weren’t for the fact that he kept getting distracted. Then again, perhaps you were too goal-oriented, and could stand to have some fun exploring his body as well.

“Yoongi,” you whispered.

“Mmm?”

“Take this off,” you said, tugging at the hem of his shirt. He removed it swiftly, the warmth of his chest now pressing against yours.

_________

Jungkook downed yet another shot of vodka.

“Do you want to go back to your room?” Yeona asked.

“No,” he scowled, not looking at her.

“Can you please not be like this?” she pleaded. “I just want to have a good time.”

He shrugged. “Go find someone else, then.”

He fully knew he was being an ass and she didn’t deserve it, but he wasn’t in the mood to be courteous.

She sighed and stomped off. He’d have to apologize to her later, but he couldn’t think about that now.

Yeona, as nice as she was, was no longer serving her purpose of helping him forget about you. And how could she, really? It was impossible. You were everywhere. Everything reminded him of you.

From the moment you began working at the company, you drove him crazy. Everything about you captured his attention. But you’d always been so by-the-book. Your commitment to professional boundaries rivaled even Namjoon’s. There was no way in hell he even stood a chance.

No way in hell, until that day in rehearsal, when you crashed into his world in a very real way and shook him to his core. From that moment on, all he could think about was you.

He could hear any song and think of how your hips swayed when you danced. Someone would tell him a joke or a funny story, and all he could do was think about the way you’d laugh if you were there to hear it. At night, whether it’s his hand or Yeona’s lips wrapped around himself, all he could see was your cheeks hollowed out as you sucked him.

So when he caught sight of Yoongi’s hand clasped over your wrist, pulling you out the door, it struck him like a hammer to the chest.

That had been over an hour ago. Neither of you had come back.

He poured himself another a shot. _______

“How’s that?”

“Shhh, it’s fine. Just don’t stop.”

Yoongi’s face was buried between your thighs, lapping at you like a man dying of thirst and you were a desert oasis. He had his first two fingers inside of you, sliding over your g-spot while his tongue performed unholy acts on your clit.

“Faster,” you pleaded. Without hesitation, he picked up his pace. You were already hurling towards climax, but you had no intention of holding back, and neither did Yoongi.

You dug your fingers into his scalp and pulled him closer.

_________

Namjoon had seen Jungkook drunk before, but something was off with him this time. On the surface, he looked like he was having fun, but there was an undercurrent of intensity that spelled trouble.

After leading the group for so long, identifying signs that something was off had become second nature to Namjoon.

Jungkook had been acting weird the entire tour, so he knew something was up. He suspected it had something to do with you, but he wasn’t sure of all the details.

“Taehyung!” he called over when the younger man flitted across his periphery.

“What’s up?”

“Do you know what’s been going on with Jungkook?” he asked.

Taehyung sighed.

“I don’t know, man. Something’s up with him. I thought he was fine last week, but I’m not so sure.”

“Keep an eye on him for me tonight, would you? Make sure he doesn’t get into trouble. He’s been hitting the liquor pretty heavily.”

“Sure thing, boss.”

Somehow Taehyung’s reassurance didn’t ease the sinking feeling in Namjoon’s gut.

_______

“Fuck, just like that,” Yoongi growled out.

He was on his back as you knelt between his legs and massaged his balls. Saliva trickled down your chin, but you kept a steady rhythm while you sucked. Every once in a while, he’d jolt forward and slam into the back of your throat, causing you to cough and sputter, but he was gaining more and more control over his movements, while you gradually relaxed into it, finally able to find a rhythm that worked.

His hands moved on their own accord, raking themselves through your hair, grabbing fistfuls and pulling you towards him, before moving down to caress your face or massage your shoulders.

His breathing sped up, chest rising and falling beautifully, eyes screwed tightly shut in concentration. You watched while his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down whenever he swallowed.

“Fuck, I’m not gonna last,” he hissed through gritted teeth. “Please?”

Hearing him beg did something to you. You doubled down on your movements, letting him hit the back of your throat over and over.

“GOD! Fuck! Damn it!”

His hips began to thrust into you. You tried your best to accommodate the movement, knowing he wouldn’t last much longer.

“Shit, baby, please?”

The pet name caused your lower abdomen to tense up with want. You never thought he’d call you ‘baby’ but hearing it gave you such immense satisfaction. At that moment, your singular purpose was to give him the best blowjob of his life. He fucking deserved it.

You relaxed your throat even more, allowing him to go as deep as he wanted. Tears streamed down your face and you had no room to even breathe, but you held out.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come,” he grunted.

He’d barely gotten the words out when his hands gripped either side of your head, his hips sputtered, and ropes of hot cum shot down your throat. You stayed and dutifully swallowed it all before finally coming up for air.

He immediately pulled you down on the bed with him and began peppering kisses all along your neck.

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you,” he said in between kisses to your sweat-logged skin. You barely even heard, still trying in vain to catch your breath.

He buried his forehead into your shoulder and caressed you as your breathing returned to normal.

“I have never appreciated anyone in my life more than I appreciate you right now, at this moment,” he mumbled into your collarbone, punctuating it with a kiss. And you knew that was an exaggeration, but you also believed he meant it more than he didn’t.

“Yoongi?” you breathed.

“Yeah?”

“Kiss my neck.”

You knew you could stop now, but there was so much more of him you wanted, no needed, to experience.

Yoongi complied eagerly, nipping at the soft skin as you arched your back and revelled in the sensation. There were no thoughts. Nothing existed outside this room. There was only Yoongi, consuming you with a fiery passion. You wished the night would never end. Morning would never come and you could stay there with him forever. Nothing would make you happier.

________

“Where the fuck is she?!” Jungkook shouted as he punched the target. It swung upwards, locking into place at the top of its swing while the machine calculated his points. He received the highest score of anyone so far that night.

“Easy, man. Relax. She’s probably back at the hotel. You know she doesn’t do large crowds unless she’s dancing.”

Taehyung patted his friend’s shoulder, trying to soothe him the best he could. He’d been trying to do that all night, but it was no use. Jungkook was spiraling out of control. Taehyung knew he had to get him back to his room fast, but he didn’t want to risk crossing paths with you or Yoongi and setting him off even worse.

“Come on. Why don’t we go back to the hotel and order some food?”

“I’m not hungry,” Jungkook insisted, but followed out the door anyway.

As he loaded Jungkook into the cab, he pulled out his phone to text Namjoon.

[Taehyung 2:13 AM: You'd better come back to the hotel. I think we're in for a rough night.]

_______

“Condoms?” you panted. Yoongi looked up from where he’d been nuzzling below your jaw. “If you can go again, that is.”

“Yeah,” he breathed, hopping off the bed. He rummaged around in his suitcase and produced a small convenience store bag with a brand new box of condoms. He paused to deliberate for a second and then reached back in to grab a small bottle of lube. You couldn’t help but smile.

“When did you buy this?” you asked.

“Honest answer?” he said. You nodded.

“The day we left LA. I paid a staff member to go out and grab some for me.”

“I never would have guessed. You practically ignored me after that day.”

He smiled, climbing back onto the bed. “Had to make you work for it. You were too entitled.”

“Min Yoongi!” you scolded, shocked.

“Don’t give me that,” he said, hand coming to rest on your pubic bone while his thumb glided between your folds. You arched into his touch. “You know all too well you were totally spoiled with attention by the time you made your way to me. That’s why you were so shocked when I denied you.”

Something about what he said stuck with you. He was right, and it was a truth that had been too painful to confront until now.

“Hey,” he said softly. “Don’t let it get to you, okay? You made mistakes, but you’ve also learned from them. That says a lot more about you than you realize.”

You looked back up at him and you could tell he meant it.

“Plus, you’re already serving your sentence. Don’t punish yourself more than you need to, okay?”

You exhaled through your nose, determined. “Okay.”

“Okay.” He took a condom out from the box. “Help me with this?”

______

Yoongi groaned as he pushed into you. Fuck, he needed this. Holy shit, did he need this.

A small part of him felt a little guilty. He knew he was betraying Namjoon’s trust. And if he were honest with himself, that devastated him. But he also knew that there was no way around this.

Fingernails dug into his hips. You let out a shy gasp as he pushed into you again.

He wanted to be the obedient one. The team player. Like Hoseok. Or Seokjin. Or Namjoon. And ninety-nine percent of the time, he was. But every once in a while, he needed some grace.

It was exhausting, having to look out for so many people’s interests. There were people whose livelihoods depended on him behaving in a way becoming of a public figure. Yours, even.

It’s not that he minded all the time. He enjoyed his role. But he had needs.

Sexual needs, sure. But he could take care of those on his own. He needed connection.

What he really wanted was to connect with his fans through music. He knew there were people who would hear his tracks and understand him. He needed to be known, and that was hard to come by these days.

But then he hung out with you, and for once, he felt understood. There was something—a vibe you shared when it was just the two of you—that took a little bit of the sting away. And there in that bedroom, with you panting beneath him? It had been a long time since he’d felt so connected to anyone.

You let a breathy moan slip past your lips, and for all the work he’s done on his vocals, he knew he’d never produce a sound quite as intoxicating.

He bent over you, resting his weight on his forearms while he cradled the back of your neck between his hands, your skin slick with sweat. You had your entire body wrapped around him, nails digging into his shoulders and legs crossed over his hips.

In Yoongi’s opinion, you had never looked more beautiful. Or vulnerable. Seeing you look up at him through half-lidded eyes, already fucked out but so eager for more affected him more than he cared to let on.

Up until recently, he never paid you much thought. Of course, he’d found you attractive, but he never would have guessed you’d have anything in common. You always seemed so focused on dancing—a part of the job he loathed—that he never even bothered to start a conversation with you. He came into contact with so many attractive people that they all seemed to blend together.

That was, until he watched you slam back two shots of bottom-shelf whiskey, one right after the other. And then suddenly, you went from being a background character to a Real Person.

That night, you’d appeared in his fantasies as he was getting himself off. And many nights since. He thought about how you’d feel sheathed around him. How you would taste. What your moans would sound like. How your nipples would feel in his mouth. He thought about your body as if it were his own personal playground, and everything he wanted to do to it.

But as great as his fantasies were, they were nothing compared to you now.

You whined again as he pushed further into you, pussy sucking him in, swallowing him whole. You looked so innocent beneath him. Soft and supple and absolutely breathtaking. He couldn’t help himself from wrapping a hand around your throat. As soon as he did, you moaned and your eyes rolled back into your head.

“You like that?” he breathed, hoping he sounded sexy, but it was an honest question. Did you want him to choke you?

“Yes,” you moaned again, nodding enthusiastically.

He began slow, still sliding in and out of you ever so gently, making sure his grip on your throat wasn’t too tight. Your breath hitched as he moved. God, he fucking needed you. Needed to draw every gasp and moan out of you that he could. Needed to scratch and bite and absolutely ruin you.

“Yoongi?” Your voice came out high and needy and it just about broke him.

“Yeah baby?”

God, he’d never get over the way you sigh his name.

“I need more.”

Anything for you.

He sped up his movements, gripping your throat tighter as he went. Fuck, you were going to be the death of him.

_________

“She’s a liar!” Jungkook half-sobbed into Taehyung’s shoulder while the older man soothed him. They were back in Taehyung’s room, empty bowls of spicy noodles long forgotten. “She lied about everything! About wanting to focus on her career and not get distracted. About nothing going on between her and Yoongi. And then she goes off with him!”

He put extra emphasis on ‘him,’ as if he’d been using a slur.

“Jungkook, man, you’ve got to calm down, okay? You’re assuming a lot of things right now. We don’t know anything for sure until we’ve talked to them. So why don’t you get some rest and we’ll figure it out in the morning?”

“How can I sleep when all I can think about is what they’re doing?”

“Come on, man,” Taehyung pleaded. “Please, just stop thinking about it and go to bed. I am begging you. Nothing good is going to come out of staying angry all night. We have a performance tomorrow.”

Jungkook inhaled and exhaled through his nose for a few minutes before finally sighing and dropping his shoulders.

“You’re right,” he said at last. “I think I’m gonna go to my room.”

“I’ll walk you there.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll be fine,” Jungkook reassured him.

“Promise? You’ll text if you need anything?”

“Promise.”

Jungkook sighed and left Taehyung’s room, fully intending to sleep as long as he possibly could. He was coming down off the liquor now and knew he was going to be in for a massive hangover tomorrow, as well as a lecture from Namjoon about binge drinking. But he could at least get some rest before he had to face the next day.

He slumped forward, trudging the short distance between Taehyung’s room and his when he heard it and his heart stopped.

He’d recognize that moan anywhere. He paused, listening for it again, this time pressing his ear to the door to see if he may have been imagining things.

Though it was muffled, it was unmistakably yours. He’d heard it on more than one occasion. He could practically see you under him, making those exact sounds. Those were your ‘fuck me harder’ moans.

He double-checked the room number to confirm. Yoongi’s room.

All the rage he’d worked so hard to suppress over the last hour flared up in seconds. You were unbelievable. After all that talk about wanting to focus on your career? Kicking him out after he fucking poured his heart out to you? This was a whole new level of betrayal.

Jungkook snapped.

“Yoongi! Open this fucking door right now!” he shouted, fist pounding as hard as it could against the solid wood. “Yoongi! I know you’re in there! At least look me in the face like a man while you stab me in the back!”

His fists never let up. Within seconds, several doors flew open. Hoseok’s was the first. He tried to pry Jungkook away, but the younger man easily overpowered him.

“Namjoon!” he called.

Almost instantly Namjoon was there, along with Taehyung and Jin. Together, the four of them were able to pull him away from the door.

“You fucking coward! You liar!” he shouted, this time half-sobbing.

“Get him to my room,” Namjoon directed the other members. “I’ll calm him down.”

"She's a liar," he sobbed once again. It came out quieter and more defeated. "She lied."

"I know, buddy. I know," Namjoon soothed as he dragged his friend towards his room.

Jungkook's sobs continued to echo down the hallway as he was dragged off. ________

“Yoongi! Open this fucking door right now!”

“Shit!” you whispered. The loud rapping on the door from Jungkook’s fists caused you to bolt upright, almost knocking face-first into Yoongi.

“I think he found out,” Yoongi said grimly, still holding on tight to you.

You trembled. You could hear the anguish in Jungkook’s voice. He sounded drunk. It was almost too much for you.

“Hey,” Yoongi said, pulling your chin towards him. “Eyes on me, okay? Stay with me.”

You nodded, trying to tune out the yelling coming from the other side of the door, but it was practically impossible.

“You fucking coward! You liar!” you heard Jungkook’s muffled shouts and it took everything in you to ignore him. You could tell he was talking to you directly and your heart shattered in real time.

“There’s nothing we can do about it now, okay? We will deal with it tomorrow. Tonight is for us, remember?”

You nodded, but couldn’t help the tears welling up behind your eyes.

“Shhh,” he soothed. “Stay with me, babygirl. I’ve got you.”

You paused your movements, Yoongi slowed his rhythm inside of you.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you said, kissing the palm of his hand that rested on your cheek.

“Want me to keep going?”

“Yeah.”

He picked up his pace once again. You fought to stay in the moment and not let what was going on outside distract you.

“Yoongi?” you asked.

“Yeah?”

“Kiss me?”

This was the most vulnerable you’d been since that night back in LA with Jungkook, when you asked him to kiss you. And for half a second, you worried Yoongi would deny you the way Jungkook had.

But half a second was all Yoongi needed before he captured your lips in his.

You briefly registered the sounds of Jungkook being led to another room by what sounded like Namjoon, but after that, all you could focus on was the way Yoongi glided his tongue along your bottom lip, and you melted into it.

Yoongi was right. There wasn’t anything you could do about it now. Tonight was for you, and you were going to make it count. You did your best to stuff Jungkook to the back of your mind and concentrate solely on what was taking place right now.

It suddenly registered that this was the first time you and Yoongi had kissed. For all the teasing and touching you’d done, you’d somehow glossed over this bit of intimacy entirely.

You wrapped your arms around the back of his neck to deepen the kiss. He tasted like whiskey and cigarettes. Harsher than you were used to, but not in a way you minded. His mouth moved in tandem with yours and you were content to let him take the lead, because you wanted nothing more than to drown in him.

He nipped at your bottom lip and you opened for him, granting his tongue entrance. He licked along the roof of your mouth, meeting your tongue with his.

At the same time, his thumb traveled down to draw circles over your clit. He continued to thrust into you, and between his hands, his cock, and his mouth, you were in full sensory heaven, unable to form a single thought.

He sucked your bottom lip into his mouth, scraping over it with his teeth before capturing your lips in another wet, open-mouthed kiss, and you were very quickly overcome with such gratitude for his presence in your life. What you did to deserve him right now, you had absolutely no idea, but you wanted to do everything you possibly could to cherish him in that moment.

The kiss became less coordinated as his movements sped up, sometimes consisting of your lips connecting for a period of time while you both focused on the sensations happening elsewhere, and sometimes devolving into the two of you licking and sucking and biting any flesh you came into contact with.

Your hands roamed all over his body, searching for anything you could grab hold of. His speed continued to gain momentum, and you couldn’t help but scrape your nails down his back as he fucked himself into you. He moaned into your mouth, voice rough and gravelly and hollow.

His hands came to rest once again on your neck, using it as leverage to pull himself in deeper. He pulled back from the kiss to look at you, his eyes dark, wild, and half-focused on something you suspected wasn't even in the room. His hands pulsed around your throat, wanting to squeeze tighter, but not wanting to hurt you, while his movements grew sloppy.

Yoongi was fighting to stay in control, afraid of what he might do if he gave in to his most primal urges. You didn't want him to hold back. You wanted to see him at his most stripped down and vulnerable. You covered his hands with yours and squeezed them tighter around you.

He furrowed his brow in question, unable to form coherent thoughts but needing to make sure it was okay. You nodded, squeezing your hands even tighter over his.

It did not take him long to catch on. His movements sped up and his grip around your throat tightened. He gritted his teeth, pouring all his anger and bitterness into fucking you. You inclined your head to give him more room and smiled to yourself, relishing in the Min Yoongi you were receiving. This was Min Yoongi in his rawest form. Furious. Rough. Unrestrained. Empowered. He shared with you the very core of his being and you bathed yourself in it, needing it to consume you.

He fucked into you with all the speed and power he could muster, slamming over and over again with uncontained rage at everything he’d been forced to put up with for nearly a decade. All the broken promises and forced isolation. All the hours spent in meetings and learning dances and doing everything but what he truly wanted to do.

And in turn, you gave him everything, etching all your disappointment and frustration and regret into his back with your fingernails. Each mark you left was a story of a time you’d been failed by the people who were supposed to show up for you. Times you’d failed to show up for yourself. Times you’d failed to show up for the people you loved. You carved them into his skin with as much force as you could muster, sure you’d made him bleed.

“Why?” he growled through gritted teeth. It was low, barely audible, and you didn’t know the answer, but you nodded. You wanted to answer him. Tell him you didn’t know why either of you were going through what you were going through, but you could barely get anything past the vice-like grip he had on your throat.

“Why?” he asked again, this time voice a little more shaky, laced with pent-up frustration and tinged with sadness.

You stared into his eyes, at that point they were far past feral. Almost unhinged. You shook your head. You didn’t know why, but you knew how it made him feel. And that was enough.

Yoongi came with a strangled sob. As soon as he let go of your throat, the increase in oxygen and blood flow sent you directly into your climax. You rode out the rest of your high together, movements slowing as you came down.

Yoongi was shaking. At first you thought it was overstimulation until you heard the soft sobs coming from him. You wrapped him up in your arms as he collapsed onto you, sobbing into your shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”

“Shhh,” you soothed. “Don’t be.”

“I don’t know why this is happening,” he whispered into you. “I’ve never done this before.”

“Probably just a big release of emotion. It’s happened to me before. Don’t stress about it.”

“It’s fucking embarrassing,” he said, though the tears didn’t slow at all.

“Let it out,” you said, stroking his back. “You probably need it.”

It was at that moment you felt your own emotions start to well up. What was going to happen to you after tonight? Would you still have a job to go to in the morning? If word had gotten back to the label, you might have a letter of termination in your inbox at that very moment.

You allowed yourself to feel it. Yoongi was the only safe space you had at the moment, and he wasn’t in any position to judge you for your emotions.

You and Yoongi held each other while you cried, each feeling separate emotions, but side-by-side. And when the crying stopped, you went to the bathroom and finished the rest of the joint. By that time, the crying had worn off, and you were left with a strange happy relaxation at having finally released everything that had been building up. Periodically, one of you would burst out into giggles over the course of events that had taken place that night, causing the other to erupt into laughter as well.

“I don’t know, man. That’s never happened to me before.” Yoongi kept repeating.

“It’s only happened to me once. I looked it up afterwards and apparently emotional flooding is normal after sex. Elevated hormones or something like that.”

“If you say so. Didn’t feel very normal to me. Felt good though.”

“Yeah, well guys aren’t as used to expressing emotions as we are.”

“Fair enough,” he said. “Usually, I express mine through music.”

“Hard to do when music’s the thing you’re disappointed about.”

“Don’t remind me,” he said. “Hey, by the way. Um, that? Was fucking incredible. No wonder everyone was fighting over you.”

“Stop,” you groaned, waving your hand in protest. “I don’t want to think about that.” He laughed and caught your hand in his.

“Okay. We won’t talk about anyone else. But can we talk about the fact that my shirt is now stained with blood because of your damn nails?”

“Um, what about the bruises on my neck? Those can’t be covered up so easily.”

“You didn’t seem to mind at the time,” he said, voice velvety smooth.

“Still don’t.”

“Is that so?” he asked, wrapping his arm around you and plucking the joint from your hand. “Seriously though,” he paused to take a drag. “That was incredible. Thank you.”

The tenderness in his voice caught you by surprise, but it was welcome. He looked you over once before taking another drag and bringing his lips to yours. He nipped on your bottom lip as a sign to open your mouth, and when you did, he exhaled the smoke, allowing you to inhale the drag he’d taken, before he continued kissing you. It was a surprisingly intimate act.

You finally broke apart to exhale, barely any smoke coming out, most of the drag having been spent between the two of you.

“Thank you,” you countered, eyes still closed, savoring the leftover taste of his lips. You couldn’t help but smile stupidly. “That was something else. I’m going to be fantasizing about that for months.”

“Doesn’t have to be a fantasy,” he said.

You laughed. “I doubt we’ll have that much pent-up anger to get out for a while.”

“What do you mean? There are tons of things to get angry about. Like how nosy Hoseok is.”

“Or how I might not have a job after today.”

The energy died a bit with that comment.

“You’re really stressed about that, huh?” he asked, rubbing your shoulder with his thumb and offering you the last hit of the joint before it was totally spent. You took it with gratitude.

“I don’t see how I’m keeping my job after this. Not after the spectacle Jungkook made.”

“You know whatever happens, I’m here for you, right? We’ll get through this together.”

“I know,” you said, standing and stretching. It was nearing sunrise by that point. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Yoongi.”

You crawled back into bed, kissing lazily until neither one of you could keep your eyes open. You fell asleep listening to his heartbeat, chest rising and falling under you as he stroked your hair, and you wondered if this was the last moment of peace you’d see for a long time. You hoped it’d be worth it.

[mizugucci]

hiii you seem like a pretty chill and unproblematic person, so I wanted to ask (since you stan svt but I'm not sure about bts): how you deal with fandom toxicity? as a multi, I'm really tired of seeing fandoms I'm in bashing each other and it makes me feel like dropping everything and never listen to kpop ever again...

hey there! first, thank you for the compliment lol but to tell you the truth I'm not entirely the best person to ask advice for this? and what I mean by that is I have entirely cultivated my online experience, and I only see what I want to see. I'm aware of a lot of toxicity in fandoms, especially bigger ones, but I rarely personally see it on my dash, so it's hard to give you advice on how to deal with actually seeing the toxicity and/or interacting with it.

really, the only thing I can say is to pick your battles and if ignoring or blocking the main culprits can help, then so be it. I've found it's quite easy to be oblivious to (most) toxicity if the only people I'm interacting with are the ones I trust not to participate in such things, especially if I'm only on tumblr. twitter is a different story, but if you're able to curate who you follow and you avoid searching in tags, that should be relatively okay as well.

I also want to mention that these fights have nothing to do with you, or even the majority of fans. if you're able to grow thick skin or acknowledge that those fights are not your fights, and that most likely they don't represent all fans, I think it'll be a bit easier to withstand such things. of course it's harder than it sounds, but to see such awful things and think, "hey, that's their problem. this toxicity is on them" would lessen the burden, I'm sure.

by the way, it's totally okay if you do feel tired and want to quit listening to kpop... this is a fun hobby, it's not a job and it's not required for you to give your time to it. if it's exhausting, then take a break -- it shouldn't be like that. the same goes for multis! if you find yourself liking a group less, don't feel bad. you only have so much time and energy to go around, so you should spend it with who you want without any guilt.

you should also not feel any guilt about liking a group less because of their fans. it's human nature to dislike something because of other people, whether it be because of toxicity or because of the "i liked them before they were popular" mindset. it just... happens. I can attest to that personally, as I used to be a huge army in 2015-2018ish until other fans drove me from stanning bts. sometimes you just gotta acknowledge how you feel and move on, because it's never going to feel the same. people are always going to be nostalgic for the good ole days and that includes kpop, but it's best to stay in the present.

I hope at least some of that makes sense, lol. my main point for you is to curate your time online to your benefit, acknowledge that other fans are not you, and to understand that liking kpop is purely a hobby.

[anonnie-in-wonderland]

Home Calls the Heart

Summary: Twenty-year old L/N Y/N realizes she might be, okay, is a little bit of a social pariah. But there’s not much she can really do about it. Until a dreary winter day, when a determined, persistent dog hybrid named Taehyung shows up and declares that he’s interested in adopting her for himself and the rest of his lonely pack.

chapter: three

Word Count: 6.2k

rating: T (mentions of death and mental illness/depression, a brief moment of social etiquette cringe from reader, who is too awkward for life)

genre: romance | hurt/comfort| magic AU

tags: bts x reader | ot7 x reader | hybrid | poly| FM!reader

Emperor Penguin!Seokjin, Golden Retriever!Taehyung, Coyote!Hoseok, Mountain Lion!Yoongi, Wolfdog!Namjoon, Kingfisher!Jimin, Holland Lop!Jungkook

Author’s Note: Hello everyone, it’s been some time since the last update and I apologize about that but appreciate the patience. The taglist has grown considerably longer so I put it at the bottom. There are about 6 slots left open, but to keep it from getting to be a mile long I will close it down when I hit 50 people. Sorry in advance that I accidentally ended up back on my angst BS again this chap. Next one will likely be fluffier. 😭

prev/next

There was an undeniable awkwardness in the air, and (Y/N) couldn’t help but feel she was entirely to blame. Maybe she should have been more insistent about declining Taehyung’s offer to meet his family. It was evident to her now that they were indeed completely blindsided, though no one was overtly rude about her crashing their dinner.

On the contrary, the black-haired man who had taken one look at her and then fussed to get her a hot cup of tea was trying to make light conversation as he put the finishing touches on the evening meal.

Yoongi— the mountain lion, and Jimin and Taehyung’s hyung— had mostly focused on silently helping him after he shooed off Taehyung and told him to go let the others he had worried know he was back.

Jimin had cast her a small smile and a wave before joining the golden retriever. Which left (Y/N) with the two older men, sitting on a stool at the kitchen bar and feeling painfully in the way despite being physically well removed from the spot they were cooking in.

“Warming up any?” asked the broad-shouldered man, peeking at her from over said shoulder.

(Y/N) was quick to nod, now realizing just how lost she had been in her steaming cup of liquid. “Oh, um yeah, it’s doing the job really well.” She licked her lips, tasting the honey and chamomile of the tea, “Thank you.”

“That’s good. Let me know if you want more. It was probably freezing out there for you in just that sweater.” She had assumed that all of the others Taehyung lived with were hybrids as well, but to be completely honest, she had no idea what species of hybrid this man could be at a glance. And it was far from appropriate to ask when they had only just met.

“Taehyung let me borrow his scarf too.” She put in feebly, shrugging a little bashfully. (Y/N) had never planned to trek through the snow in such flimsy covering, but she had, and she felt foolish for it.

For the first time since resuming his spot next to the other man, Yoongi looked up and scoffed. “Which did exactly what for you? What you needed were layers.”

He was right, of course, but (Y/N) felt a little rankled by his tone. Was he blaming her or was he just gruff by nature?

“I’m sure she didn’t expect our pup to ambush her like that. You know how headstrong and impulsive Tae can be. Then there’s that big blue puppy eyed thing to contend with. It’s not a fair playing field.”

“Right?” (Y/N) agreed, happy someone was aware of the power of that puppy eye agenda. “I don’t think I stood a chance.”

“Try living with him.” He laughed, his full lips pulled into a bright smile. (Y/N) smiled too, a little bit of her nervousness melting away. His dark eyes twinkled, seeming to deem her reaction as a positive response, until something dawned on him. The loud gasp that came from him had Yoongi nearly losing his grip on the handle of the wok he was cooking with.

He gave the black-haired man a glare that went unnoticed. “Oh, I can’t believe I forgot to introduce myself in all this.” He frowned, placing a hand to his chest. “I’m Seokjin, or just Jin. The charming one.” Much to her amusement, he brought his thumb and index finger up to his chin, pushing his lips out a little and wiggling his eyebrows.

(Y/N) wanted to introduce herself as an automatic response, but she was pretty positive he had heard the other boys say her name already. Still, it didn’t hurt to be polite. “(L/N) (Y/N), nice to meet you.” She giggled. “And sorry for turning up unannounced.”

“It’s alright,” Seokjin reassured her, staring down at the meat he had been preparing and then nodding in satisfaction. It smelled heavenly, and despite (Y/N) not wanting to intrude on their dinner, she couldn’t deny that if offered a plate, she would probably eat. From what she could tell they were having stir fried rice and lamb skewers. “It’s not the first time Tae’s gone out and brought a friend back.”

(Y/N) tilted her head curiously at that, hoping the mysterious dog hybrid wasn’t collecting strangers at the park whenever the mood arose. Someone was going to assume he was a kidnapper.

“He brings home injured animals that need looking after every once in a while.” Yoongi clarified. “A whole human is a different story.”

(Y/N) once again felt somewhat unwanted, playing with her empty cup, unsure what to say.

“Don’t mind him, he gets a little flustered with company if he feels unprepared.” Jin rolled his eyes. “He’s probably nervous about you liking his cooking.”

(Y/N) wasn’t so sure it was that simple, but before Yoongi could reply, someone gave an exaggerated sniff, groaning as he sauntered into the kitchen area. “Ohh, lamb’s on the menu tonight.” The girl turned in her seat, trying not to stare too openly as yet another handsome hybrid showed up. In spite of her crappy best efforts, he caught her looking, staring back with intrigued brown eyes. “Hi, TaeTae’s guest, right?”

(Y/N) swallowed, her mouth dry at the warmth he oozed, barely managing a nod. He was wearing a baggy white t-shirt, black joggers and socks with matching slides. His hair—an interesting mixture of rust brown with some intermittent streaks of gray—looked soft, parted in a fringe that showed his forehead.

(Y/N) had never given a great deal of thought about how attractive a forehead could be, but here she was, checking one out. “I’m Hoseok, everybody’s hope.” he winked, two pointed canine ears flicking up. “Including yours now.” Despite his casual greeting, the position of his ears would suggest he was equal parts curious and alert. She couldn’t exactly blame him when a new face showed up unexpectedly in his space.

“(Y-Y/N)…” she waved stiffly, mentally smacking herself for being such an introverted dork at times. Hoseok only grinned a little wider, leaving her awed that his lips naturally formed the shape of a heart when his perfect white teeth were on display.

“Hobi here is our happy pill.” Jin said proudly. “It’s hard to be grumpy with him around. Right, Yoongi-yah?”

Yoongi grumbled something unintelligible, but his eyes were noticeably softer the minute he saw Hoseok, so there was definitely some credence to Jin’s claim.

“I heard a little already from Jimin,” Hoseok said, skirting around behind where she was seated and into the kitchen. “But Taehyung latched onto you at the park, huh?” He reached up into a cabinet and handed Jin a platter. (Y/N) tried not to stare too much as the man piled the plate high with perfectly browned meat.

“Something like that…I was having lunch and I noticed a really pretty golden retriever that was unaccompanied wandering around. When he came over to me I just felt for him I guess,” (Y/N) toyed with an old ring on her pinkie finger, one that had once belonged to her mother. “No one likes being out in the cold all alone.”

(Y/N) wasn’t entirely sure if she was speaking about Taehyung or herself there. It wasn’t a stretch to say her mind was muddled when the hybrid had come trotting over to her.

“You have to admit, following a hybrid you don’t even know back home is kind of risky.” Hoseok tilted his head, eyebrows pulling up as if he was trying to discern what would make her do it.

“We’re nice people,” Seokjin huffed, making quick work of setting the table once Yoongi scraped the rice out of the pan. “(Y/N)’s got nothing to worry about.”

“Not like she knew that when she walked through the door though,” Yoongi turned to her. “In the future, be a little more cautious, for your own sake. The last I checked, small humans like yourself are fragile.”

It sounded well-meaning enough, like concern, in his own way. So (Y/N) chose to take it as a friendly(ish) reminder. “Not that fragile…” she sniffed. “I took a few years of jiu jitsu as a kid. I was a purple belt.”

The feline hybrid stared blankly, as if silently asking what that was supposed to mean to him exactly. Flustered, (Y/N)’s chest deflated, “Right, noted. I’ll be better about paying attention to my surroundings in the future.”

“Okay, okay.” Hoseok sang out, “How about we lay off a little. She’s a guest. No need to go scaring her off, hyung.” In a move that looked incredibly brave from (Y/N)’s vantage point, Hoseok playfully leaned into Yoongi’s face, squishing his cheeks together until they resembled dumplings. For a fleeting second, (Y/N) wanted to coo. At Yoongi. The grumbly, so-far-solemn mountain lion.

His long tail came up, lightly slapping against Hoseok’s wrist, making the other man step back with a fond smile. “Just call the rest, would you? Tell them food’s done.”

“On it!” Hoseok bounced away with a cute little smile and a salute. Jin shook his head, but there was nothing but affection on his face.

“(Y/N), grab a seat,” He pulled out a chair, beckoning her over to the table. (Y/N) blinked, a little surprised. If anything, she would have expected to eat at the counter. There was plenty of space. What if by sitting at the table, she took someone’s seat? No way she was about to put someone out when these men had already let her come in out of the cold, despite her being a total stranger.

Seeming to notice her dilemma, Jin’s eyes grew warm and reassuring. “Don’t worry about taking someone’s spot.” The rectangular table had eight chairs set around it, all of the places set except the seat at the head, something she didn’t feel comfortable commenting on. “Our youngest is probably going to eat upstairs again tonight,” Jin sounded a little disappointed by the prospect, but that too was something (Y/N) was hardly going to pry about. Some people didn’t do well with surprises, like unexpected company at dinner. Who was she to subject someone antisocial or painfully shy to her presence?

Slowly, she slid from her stool at the counter, clutching her empty teacup until Seokjin noticed she still had it. “Oh here,” he took it from her, setting it in the sink, probably thinking he was being nice. Little did he know that the teacup and its happy bunny pattern had been something to physically cling onto, keeping her nerves at bay just slightly.

“Thanks,” she said, not wanting to explain that. (Y/N) took the seat she was directed to, her stomach giving an involuntary gurgle with the meat and bell pepper skewers right in front of her eyes. The rice accompanying the protein and veggies cooked to perfection too.

“Poor thing, you sound hungry.”

(Y/N) blushed. Of course Jin would have heard it. Which meant he was a hybrid after all then. Yoongi likely heard it too. He just didn’t deem it worth commenting on, taking his spot diagonal from hers across the table. Thundering footsteps kept there from being a need for strained attempts at conversation (luckily), Jin’s handsome features puckering into a sour expression as several boys slid through the door all at once, nearly toppling each other over. “Yah, have you all lost your minds, running in my kitchen?”

A chorus of “Sorry hyung,” in different voices had (Y/N) smiling to herself as they filed through the kitchen with more composure. Taehyung made a beeline for her as soon as he saw her, his tail wagging as he plopped down beside her, their shoulders brushing.

His eagerness to be near her eased her nerves just a little, making her feel less awkward as the rest of the hybrids filed in. There was only one she didn’t think she had met, a tall, tanned hybrid with dark rectangular ears similar to Hoseok’s, if not slightly larger. They met eyes, (Y/N) getting swept into his deep, inquisitive gaze.

“Joon-hyung, this is (Y/N).” Jimin introduced, also finding his place at the table. The avian hybrid looked very cozy in a striped long-sleeved shirt that fell over his hands, baggy sweatpants nearly covering his bare feet. From so close, she found his wings twice as gorgeous as before. Such a striking shade of cobalt blue, every feather groomed just so as the feathery appendages stayed tucked against his back. She had never seen a winged hybrid before, come to think of it. A slew of questions she was too shy to ask stayed balanced on the tip of her tongue. Were his wings heavy? Did he have to clean them in a special way? Was it uncomfortable keeping them tucked in like that?

All of these things were pushed to the wayside when she realized the hybrid she didn’t know was talking to her. “Nice to meet you,” he nodded at her, voice deep and expression cordial. “I’m Namjoon.”

“Hi Namjoon,” she swallowed, not sure why her palms felt a bit sweaty. It was probably just that he had such a commanding presence, though she wasn’t uncomfortable. “Likewise.”

As he made his way toward a seat at the table, his black and silver tail swept out when he turned, knocking into and nearly turning over a cup full of liquid there. Only Hoseok’s fast reflexes saved it, Namjoon whirling around with a small gasp, eyes startled and then sheepish. “Oh I…I didn’t mean to do that.” He muttered, causing the man beside him to laugh brightly, patting his arm. “We know, Joonie.”

“Just sit down.” Yoongi clicked his tongue.

The burly hybrid quickly lowered into his seat, looking as though he was trying not to draw further attention to himself. His shoulders were hunched in and his ears were down as he picked up his cup with concentration and took a delicate sip. (Y/N) softened, his display of clumsiness cutting his intimidation factor cleanly in half. Besides, they had only just met, and he hadn’t done anything to her besides tell her his name. The young woman mentally scolded herself for letting her nerves get the best of her.

Jin whisked by out of the kitchen holding a plate of food. “I’ll take Jungkook his dinner.” He announced, “There better be enough for me when I get back! And (Y/N) be sure to go ahead and dig in. You have to be quick when you’re eating with a bunch of animals.”

She blinked, “Okay…”

“I’ll help you,” Taehyung offered, taking her plate for her and beginning to put rice on it. He added three lamb skewers to it and presented the food to her with proud eyes.

“T-Thanks, it looks great.” (Y/N) directed the compliment at Yoongi as she carefully took the plate. He nodded silently, eating the fruits of his and Seokjin’s labor.

Although she readied her chopsticks, (Y/N) still paused, having the sense of having barged in on their quiet family meal, despite the circumstances that had brought her to their doorstep.

“Everything okay?” It was Jimin who’d asked, tilting his head in her direction curiously as he bit into the skewer of lamb in his hand.

It felt like all eyes drifted her way, and (Y/N) bobbed her head in a nod, clearing her throat. “Uh it’s just that,” she laughed nervously. “I’m a vegetarian.”

All the sounds of activity around the table stopped, the hybrids staring with bulging eyes, except Yoongi, who lifted a brow.

“She can’t eat this, hyung,” Taehyung reached for her plate, expression serious. “What else do we have that’s—”

Before he could completely tug it away, (Y/N) grabbed his wrist, wincing. “Sorry, sorry. That was just…it was a really crappy attempt at a joke. I’m not a vegetarian. I’m just an awkward dumbass that didn’t know how to explain I was too nervous to take a bite. I didn’t know what to say and I blurted that out, so just…sorry.”

As the hybrids processed her words, everyone sank back into their chairs, panic fading. “Some joke.” Yoongi huffed.

“So…you like bad jokes?” Taehyung asked thoughtfully. “How do you feel about puns?”

(Y/N) shrugged, “I’m not eggxactly opposed to a good one.”

Several of the men groaned, Hoseok chuckling across the table from her. “Oh, Jin’s gonna be over the moon excited.”

Any lingering awkwardness and tension died down, the sounds of eating filling the room. Taking that as her cue, (Y/N) tentatively dug in, feeling self-conscious even as the others around her ate heartily. That first bite of the tender lamb was like her tongue being serenaded by the perfect blend of flavors. It had been so long since she’d had any, especially seasoned to perfection. Her pleasure must have been written clearly across her face, the tip of her a finger startling her as it poked her bulging cheek. Taehyung watched her in amusement, a knowing look in his eyes. “Good, right?”

“Uh-huh,” If there was one thing bound to make her lose any bashfulness with new people, it was great tasting food. “So good,” Was she drooling? Hopefully not. It was the kind of meal that tasted so amazing that it was tempting to go for another big bite before the first had even been chewed and swallowed. “Compliments to the chefs.”

“You like it?” Jin had stepped back into the kitchen, sans the plate he had been carrying, at that exact moment. “It’s nothing much really.”

“Listen to him, pretending to be modest.” Namjoon smirked. “We all know you’re proud of your cooking, hyung. Well, (Y/N) didn’t, but now she does.”

“Aish,” Jin scolded, “Don’t tell on your hyung! People like a little feigned modesty every now and then.”

(Y/N) found herself further relaxed, taking a sip of the juice she’d been given. Taehyung sighed happily, “This is going better than I thought it would. See, (Y/N)? Everything’s fine.”

“Speaking of (Y/N), not to put you on the spot, but I still have a few questions.” Namjoon spoke again, and the girl urged him to go on with a nod. “When did you meet Taehyung? I thought we knew all of his friends, and most are, well…hybrids.”

Taking her time wiping sauce from the corner of her mouth, (Y/N) tried to formulate a proper answer, sensing that more than just Namjoon was curious about her. “I was having lunch by myself in the park earlier today, and I noticed a pretty dog walking around, looking for someone to play with.”

Yoongi fixed Taehyung with a pointed stare at this. “Wandering up to strangers without wearing your collar? Do you realize what the consequences of pulling a stunt like that could be?”

Taehyung’s ears folded down against his fluffy hair, avoiding his hyung’s eyes. “It was the easiest test I could think of to find a nice human. I figured I’d know a good one when I found them,”

“Why were you looking for a ‘nice human’?” Hoseok prodded, shooting (Y/N) a quick smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Whatever kind of animal instincts he had, they seemed to be on alert in regards to her. “Not that you don’t seem like one.”

“No, no I get it,” (Y/N) assured, putting a bit more rice in her mouth. “I turned up at your house kinda suddenly.”

“Answer the question, pup.” Yoongi said.

(Y/N) could feel Jimin tense up beside her, his wings making a quiet sound as he shuffled in his seat.

“I wanted…to find one who’d be willing to join our family.” He confessed. “Nothing’s been the same without Gramps.” His deep voice cracked, raw with emotion. “So I just thought maybe…”

“…Are you serious?” Yoongi said. (Y/N) had been staring at her plate, but she risked a peek in his direction, and immediately wished she hadn’t. Those limpid feline eyes, so green, were shiny with emotion. Rage? Sadness? Shock? All of the above? It was hard to say. “He’s been dead one fucking week, and you bring someone home with the intention of replacing him, without even consulting us?”

Just like that, all the tension taut enough to steal the air from her lungs was back. Taehyung looked ready to get up as Yoongi made to leave the table. “Hyung, it’s not like that—”

Yoongi rounded on him with startling grace. “Then tell me what it is like, Taehyung.” The big cat demanded. “Tell me what was going through your head, to feel the need to rush out and drag home some weird girl, sit her down at our table, and tell us this out of the blue.”

(Y/N) couldn’t look at a single one of them. Hearing that she had been brought to visit so soon after what sounded like a severe loss made her feel immensely guilty. The eighth spot that wasn’t set, Taehyung’s loneliness and sadness when she touched him, the wariness some of the hybrids displayed towards her. It all made sense. They were fresh in their mourning, and here she was, an intruder who had no right to be among them.

“You’ve got to admit, you didn’t think it out.” Hoseok’s voice wasn’t as sharp as Yoongi’s, but it caused her to flinch nonetheless. There was an undercurrent of disappointment that ate into (Y/N) even if it might not have been directed at her. “Gramps was…he was an amazing human. We all know that. What other person would be crazy enough and compassionate enough to take in a group like us, and raise us like his own kids?”

“I’m not trying to replace him at all!” Taehyung sounded so desperate for them to understand, his words pleading. “I swear I’m not. I know how much he meant to us,” he was starting to tear up, his pain, all their pain making (Y/N) rub at her chest. Sometimes, when animals in the vicinity were hurting enough, she didn’t need to touch them to feel their emotions. Apparently it was the same for hybrids. The grief all of them had over their departed caregiver was obvious, a palpable weight in her chest. “He saved me that day…he meant everything to me too.” As he broke down, scrubbing at his eyes as he began to sob, Jimin stood, walking around (Y/N)’s seat and encircling him in a fierce hug, his wings spreading a little to shelter his friend.

“Did you know?”

The tight, raspy voice belonging to Yoongi startled her from her dazed state of silence.

“Did I…know?” She croaked.

“That he wanted you to join our family? Did you know we’d only just lost our human?” He clarified. “I thought it was weird, you just up and following our pup home. I know Tae’s charming, but it was so abrupt.”

Throat itching, wrapped up in all the melancholy that had overtaken the six of them, (Y/N) felt the need to speak up, explain her side of things. She hadn’t meant to be hurt them, wasn’t trying to be complicit in rubbing salt in what she now knew to only be a week old wound. From losing Ha-Kun, (Y/N) was perfectly aware that the loss of someone dear took much, much longer to start closing than that. Right now their anguish was an exposed nerve, and she had stepped on it.

“I…um, yeah.” (Y/N) admitted, sounding tiny even to herself. But, undoubtedly they heard her just fine. “He told me not long after we met.” Yoongi’s features curled in disdain. “But I didn’t come here because I agreed.” she rushed to add, “It’s not because I’m trying to replace anyone. I would never diminish the grief you must all be feeling by assuming I could come in and sweep away the memory of a man who was clearly very dear to you all.”

“It’s not…not (Y/N)’s fault…” Taehyung lifted his face from Jimin’s neck to explain. “I was pushy. M’ sorry hyungs…Jiminie…I didn’t think about your feelings. And I’m sorry to you too, (Y/N), for dragging you into this.” He whimpered, and without thinking too much, (Y/N) reached over and placed a reassuring hand on his arm.

“Well, I still agreed to come home with you, didn’t I?” she mumbled. “I thought I could help you deal with some of that pain I felt, but that might have been really presumptuous of me. I didn’t even know the full situation.” Rising to her feet, she bowed deeply to all of them. “I can’t thank any of you enough for letting me into your home, and even feeding me. I think I’ve done enough harm, though. I should go.”

“No!” Taehyung cried, snagging her sleeve as she pushed in her chair.

“Taehyung, I’m sorry, but I—”

“Wait,” Namjoon’s commanding tone was enough to halt her in her tracks. “What did you mean when you said some of the pain you felt?”

(Y/N) hadn’t even realized her slip. Not that her power was anything she necessarily hid. But it also wasn’t something she went around volunteering at random. However, given that it was largely responsible for how she had ended up in her current predicament, maybe it was best to come completely clean.

“Oh, that’s because I kinda…have a special ability.” Her eyes darted from one male to the next, gauging their general reaction. “You know, magic. Empathic magic. Since I was little, I’ve been able to feel and understand the emotions of animals.”

Yoongi narrowed his eyes, “We’re not—”

“And hybrids too, I think.”

“So when we met at the park…” Taehyung was clearly beginning to piece it together. “You…you…”

“I felt what you did.” (Y/N) confirmed, a warm tear sliding from her eye.“I couldn’t leave you like that, so I told myself whatever I could do to step in and help, I would. I kind of do it for a living. I’m an animal behaviorist. I try to help animals express themselves and guide people towards understanding their emotions.”

“I’ve read about humans like you.” Namjoon informed her. “They’re pretty rare these days. Only something like one in every two hundred thousand has a gift, right?”

“Something like that.” (Y/N) said lightly, gripping the back of her chair hard, instincts still urging her to run away. “I’ve never met anyone else with a gift in my life, to be honest.” Pausing, she considered another possibility, “Or maybe I have, and they were being discreet.”

“Either way, none of us have ever met someone like you before.” Hoseok said.

“Yep, I’m not a garden-variety weirdo.” she joked weakly. “I’m a rare weirdo.”

That broke the tension, just a little, several of the hybrids staring in soft amusement. “Anyway, I’m really sorry for any trouble I might’ve caused, and sorry for making dinner…this.” she gestured around. “I uh, my condolences too, for your loss.”

“Thank you.” Seokjin smiled.

(Y/N) scrambled away from the table, heart hammering as she felt Taehyung’s burning stare follow her. ‘I know I gave up before I even tried. I’m sorry I let you believe I was someone special who could help.’

Surprisingly, it wasn’t the golden retriever—who looked every bit the kicked puppy—that called out to her first.

“(Y/N), hold on.” Jin approached slowly, as if trying not to corner a startled animal. She blinked. Wow, she must look really uncomfortable and desperate to escape. “How far away do you live? There’s supposed to be a cold front with heavier snowfall coming tonight. If you plan to walk, then I’m going to have to put my foot down.”

Walking back to the parking lot to retrieve her car was exactly what she had planned to do. “I’m sure it’s not too bad.” She tried, but the older man was having none of it.

“It’s too dangerous, and you don’t even have a proper coat or boots.” Seokjin disputed, “You aren’t going.”

“Listen to Jin,” Yoongi huffed. “If you think you caused so much trouble now, think of how much more you’d be causing if you went out in that storm and got lost or froze to death. This one’s already about to cry.” He pointed to Taehyung, who indeed appeared ready to shed tears.

“Stay the night.” Jin offered, patting her shoulder. “I’m sure Tae would like that.”

Taehyung’s tail was wagging hard, his sterling blue eyes hopeful as he remained beside Jimin. “C’mon (Y/N), at least until the storm passes?”

(Y/N) mentally weighed her options, glancing out the kitchen window to see the snow coming down in a flurry. No way would she be able to see to make it back to her car safely. It would be just fine parked where it was overnight. No one was going to risk getting buried in the snow to go bother it. “You make a tempting offer gentlemen,” she finally conceded. “I don’t think I have much choice.”

“Now that that’s sorted out, everybody sit down.” Jin ordered, shooing everyone who had stood back toward the table. “If my cooking isn’t appreciated, I’ll be the next person crying.”

Taehyung maintained a firm grip on one of her hands throughout the rest of the meal, but after the dramatic turn things had taken there, the empath couldn’t find it in herself to complain.

~~

“Seriously, I don’t have any trouble sleeping on the couch downstairs.” (Y/N) uselessly repeated for the fourth time. It was pointless, because Seokjin was hearing none of it.

“Oh hush,” he rolled his eyes. “The couch is alright for naps, but it can get a little drafty down there in the winter. I could turn on the fireplace,” he considered, turning down the sheets. “But wouldn’t you rather be nice and cozy up here?” The man, who she had found out was also a bird hybrid, patted the bed enticingly.

“It looks amazing, especially after the long day I’ve had, don’t get me wrong,” (Y/N) assured him, “It’s just…this is clearly someone’s bedroom.” The space was far too lived in to think otherwise. There was an open sketchbook with doodles on the writing desk near the bedroom’s window, and a vintage camera close to it. Whoever owned the device knew what they were doing, a cork board of pinned photos of happy smiling faces and serene skylines displayed there. Not to mention the partially opened closet full of male clothes and the set of weights in the corner. “Where are they going to sleep?”

“Jungkookie? Don’t worry about him. He’s sleeping down the hall tonight anyway.” Jin explained. “He knows we have a guest, and I don’t think he’ll be too upset about you using his room for the night,” Finished switching out the sheets, the bird hybrid tucked them neatly away in a dresser drawer.

“The more of your hospitality I use up, the worse I feel.” (Y/N) perched herself on the edge of the bed, having to silently admit that it was very comfy. If it felt this good just to sit down on it, laying there on her back was bound to feel even better.

Seokjin sat beside her, placing his hands on her shoulders to focus her attention on him. “(Y/N), it’s alright,” he said earnestly. “I know things got…intense downstairs. And it’s true we were caught off guard. But that doesn’t mean we’re putting you out in the cold just because Taehyung did something impulsive. It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong, so stop sulking.” Her heart skipped a beat as he leaned in a little, “In fact, stare into my handsome face until it’s imprinted into your head. Then when you fall asleep, you’re guaranteed to have good dreams.”

(Y/N) gave an unattractive snort, quickly covering her lips and then tittering into her hand. Seokjin said it like he was trying to hypnotize her into obeying. What a goofball.

“Yah, there’s nothing funny about a face this good looking.” He fussed, “Are you rejecting my offer?”

“Of course I’d never turn down an offer so generous.” (Y/N) sobered, though it was hard to fight the grin edging back onto her lips. “A face that beautiful, and I get to look at it for free? Lucky me.”

“That’s what I’m saying.” Jin agreed. In hindsight, him being an emperor penguin made a lot of sense. He carried himself with a certain self-assured elegance. “Anyway, you should be all set now. There’s a bathroom just down the hall to the left if you want to shower before bed.”

He got up to leave, telling her where he would be if she found she needed anything else in the middle of the night. (Y/N) was grateful, but imposing again was the last thing she planned to do. She would cause as little disruption as possible and then trekk back to her car after saying the proper goodbyes in the morning.

Although…a hot shower might help with her nervous energy. (Y/N) looked down at herself with a light frown. If she wanted to shower she would have to put the same clothes back on for the night… Sighing heavily, the girl decided maybe she wasn’t getting that shower after all. Her fingers had only just started to peel back the sheets when a knock came at the door. Snapping upright, she tried to tamp down the unnecessary feeling of guilt, like she was somewhere she shouldn’t be. “C-Come in,” she called.

The door creaked open, a blue head slowly peeking in. (Y/N) met Jimin’s eyes, a little smile on his face. “Good, you’re still awake. I wanted to bring you these,” he trotted in the room with fabric draped over his arm, holding it out to her. “To borrow for the night.”

(Y/N) carefully accepted the bundle, realizing he had brought her a pajama set. Unfolding them and holding them out, she surmised it should fit pretty well. Jimin was taller but there shouldn’t be any issues of them being too large.

“You didn’t have to,” she said, “I could have just slept in what I’m wearing.”

“You could’ve, but now you don’t have to.” The hybrid insisted, his tone edging on sassy.

“Well thanks,” (Y/N) relented easily, because truth be told she still wanted that shower and now she had a change of clothes. “I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome,” When he smiled, his cheeks were so cute. “Tae wanted to come say goodnight anyway, but he’s busy with the hyungs. So I said I’d do it.”

(Y/N) winced in sympathy for the poor dog hybrid. “How’s he holding up? They’re not going too hard on him, are they?”

“My hearing isn't as good as some of the others, but I know he’s getting an earful.” Jimin revealed, playing with his fingers. “Oh, but don’t worry about it,” he added when he saw her frown. “It’s TaeTae, so they won’t be mad for too long.”

(Y/N) supposed that was all she could hope for. At the end of the day, Taehyung had been trying to help his family, as unorthodox as his idea was.

Jimin looked back, eyeing the door he’d left cracked, and then studying her with big, soft eyes. Not for the first time, (Y/N) was mesmerized by how positively angelic he was. “Can I tell you something?”

(Y/N) was so captivated by how pretty he was, she nodded without hesitation. He could tell her about the stock market report and she would listen dutifully. “Keep it just between us…” he started, licking his lips, “But I’m glad you’re here. I hope you can help Jungkookie, and the hyungs too.”

“I’m not,” (Y/N) hesitated, “Sure they really want my help. And if you mean the Jungkook that Jin mentioned, I haven’t even met him.”

“You might if you want to stick around…” he whispered, staring down at his slipper clad feet. “Gramps was home. Some of us don’t remember where we came from before, and some of us got ripped away from our families and then tossed around like property up for grabs. Gramps was never like that. Maybe he had magic too. He just felt that special.” (Y/N) listened solemnly, letting Jimin wipe at his watery eyes. “I understand what Tae was trying to do.”

Tentatively, (Y/N) stuck out her hand. “I don’t know if I can become your human so suddenly, but would it be alright if I became your friend?”

His face lit up, and (Y/N) thought she might melt at the way his eyes disappeared into his full cheeks when he was beaming. “That’s perfect.” He said, accepting her hand.

Taglist: @luciferslvst @hesmyphenominiall @taradevonne @childfmoonn @stcrwhiz @ghostkat23 @mochimommy2002 @colourlyhobbit @bunzom @lore-lover @juju-227592 @junhaven @iconicgguk @kawaiikpoplover268 @cestlabellemort @squishyturtle @singukieee @jcrml @ryumirae @kadencialthings @neyneythepainaway @emu007 @mojojojothegreat @daydreambrliever @dinorahrodriguez @cosmos-d-clouds @blackrockshooter780 @hydroyaksha @tinyoonsblog @toughbook @4evahevah @7dilemma7 @yoursoontobestepmom @jiminie-08 @anacbm @black-rose-29 @malewife-supremacy @do-as-you-dont @yoonseok-jjang @mageprincess7 @pipminnie @jiminisaslytherin @sinceritythatcouldntbedelivered @kodzuskook

[biaswreckme]

how to care for your hybrid | jjk

Pairing: hybrid!Jungkook/Reader

Member: Jungkook

Length: 5253 words

Genre: smut, fluff, angst, 5+1

Rating: 18+

Triggers/Warnings: smut, hybrid smut, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), insinuation of past abuse (but nothing explicit or even saying what happened), mention of abandonment 

Project: @btscreatorscorner​ March workshop with the theme push the limits

Summary: how to care for your hybrid, or 5 times you cared for bunny hybrid!Jungkook and one time he took care of you

A/N: So this was supposed to be a drabble and it turned out to be a 5k fic. Alright. This was written for this month’s workshop for BTS Creators’ Corner network, and the theme was to push the limits. I had never written a hybrid fic before, so I interpret the theme as coming out of my writing comfort zone (even though it’s still smut...) Thankssss to my lobely lobely betas, @heejinnien​ for beta-reading the sfw parts of this fic, and to @taegularities​​ for beta-reading the nsfw bit :3 I love you girls ♥

You can find the sequel here.

1. Provide them with a comfortable home

You still remembered the day you had brought Jungkook home from the shelter. You had gone with a friend, just as a companion, not intending nor really wanting to adopt a hybrid. Sure, you’d feel lonely sometimes, living by yourself and in a foreign country, but the thought of adopting a hybrid had never crossed your mind. Adopting a plant? Sure. Adopting a cat? Maybe. Adopting a hybrid? Never. Until you saw him, that is.

The shelter was legit, your friend had said, having done her research. But the place still made you uncomfortable; the creatures, those people, inside the divisions - you refuse to think of them as cages - waiting for someone to help. You had to bite your lip to keep from crying upon seeing them, knowing it was a rescue shelter, and then your eyes crossed with his.

There was some magnetic energy in the air that had pulled you closer to his unit until you could read the informational pamphlet: he was named Jungkook, a rescue bunny hybrid. Your gaze had immediately shifted to the man again; he was only a couple of years younger than you, but there had been something about his gaze that almost hypnotized you. He had such wide, expressive, and round eyes glistening with moisture and paired with his ears drooping low on the back of his head, you could not resist it.

There would be a home inspection and you would need to get some provisions to fulfill all the exigencies, but you rushed to get everything together. They had provided you with a list of items to make the bunny hybrid comfortable and ease the transition, and you did not hesitate, deciding to worry about the credit card bills later.

And so you took him home. He had clung to you entering the apartment, slowly exploring the space and showing where he would be sleeping. At the shelter, they had told you the hybrid would need an appropriate bed, but you hadn’t felt comfortable just getting a bunny bed at the store, so you got him a real and human bed, wanting him to feel at ease enough to not need to shift into a full bunny to sleep - they had also told you he tended to do that, sleeping as a bunny because he did not feel comfortable in his hybrid human-like body.

You had gotten the basics necessary for the approval of the adoption, and then you took him to the store, letting him choose his own things. It would be a while until that wide-eyed, surprised look would leave his expression, even when you were alone at the apartment and just hanging out on the couch on a Sunday night. That first night, giving him the blankets and tucking him in, you promised to take care of him, and you could barely hear his voice in reply, so small and shy, even though he was much taller - and more muscly - than you. It did not feel right that he had to make himself so quiet and small if that was even possible, so you swore to yourself that you would do everything to help him come out of his shell.

And soon you would find yourself in the company of a very loud and boisterous bunny, no shame about singing, his love for gaming until late hours, and working out. And you could not avoid falling in love with him.

2. Make sure they are getting appropriate food

It was a Friday night, you got home tired after a long day at work, and you smiled to yourself, biting your own lip upon the sight that greeted you upon entering the apartment. A shirtless Jungkook, towel haphazardly thrown over his shoulders, his torso glistening with sweat from working out in your living room. He lifted his head upon hearing you enter, a big smile lighting up his face and his long ears pointed up. He got up and made a movement to hug you.

“Hi, noona!”

“Oh no, you don’t,” you barely ducked out of the day. “Jungkook, you’re sweaty…”

He was faster than you, predicting where you were going to dodge his new attempt at enveloping you with his arms, something he had been picking up whenever you joined him in a boxing workout. His arms quickly went around your body, pressing you against him, your forearms up in the failed endeavor of avoiding getting his sweat all over you. He hugged you tight, his chin resting on your shoulder and you felt one of his ears on your head as his entire body seemed to tremble, and as you looked down you saw his tail wiggle from side to side rapidly.

“You’re finally home,” he sighed, swaying you softly from side to side.

“Is everything okay, bun? I’m sorry I’m late, they had me stay…”

“I’m so hungry,” you could almost see the pout, knowing the small lisp that came out whenever he pursed his lips and whined.

You looked around the living room, seeing the empty protein shaker bottle on the coffee table, narrowing your eyes.

“Didn’t you have your shake? You were working out.”

“Well, I did…” he started.

“We went grocery shopping and there are still some veggies and fruit cut up from our weekend meal prep, bun,” you felt him hiding his face even more on your shoulder, squeezing your body. “What’s going on? Am I forgetting something?” There was a slightly teasing tone in your voice, knowing what he wanted.

“You promised…” his voice was a mumble, muffled by the way his pouty lips were pressing on your body, but before you could ask him to repeat, “You promised pizza night, noona.”

“I know, bun, I haven’t forgotten it,” you stepped away from him, looking into his eyes and seeing his demeanor change completely.

“Oh?”

“I made the order when I was stuck at a red light. I got your favorite,” you were about to continue, but was interrupted by his sweaty hug again, this time accompanied by a chuckle.

“Ok, we have just enough time to shower before it arrives, so let’s run and get ready.”

You were right and there was just enough time to quickly wash the day - and Jungkook’s sweat - away. You set up the coffee table while he went to get the pizza, knowing it would be hot and he would almost drop it entering the apartment as usual. You sat side by side on the floor in front of the small table, turning the television on to the show you have been binging, your backs propped up against the sofa.

Jungkook was usually very strict with his diet, being mindful of the food he ingested to maintain his physique and try to lower his body fat percentage - which was crazy to you, his muscles were already prominent and he seemed to get only bigger… how were you supposed to leave the house to work when you had your bun looking like that, especially early mornings, his hooded half-open eyes almost smiling at you wishing you a good day at work. Your fridge was always full of fresh and cut-up vegetables, fruit, and greens, catering to his diet (and you had to admit you have been eating much better since he entered your life). Sometimes you thought it was all his difficulties from before, his time spent in the shelter, that he had such a love for a cheesy hot pizza every once in a while during the weekend.

And how could you say no to him when he purposefully lowered his ears, pouted, and widened his big round eyes even more to convince you?

3. Explore new things together

“Come on baby, you said you wanted to try this. It’s just us now.”

“Y… yes, noona. It’s just so… big.” Jungkook’s eyes were wide open, looking at the size of the pool in the club. For as much of a muscle bunny he was, the sheer magnitude of the pool seemed to scare him.

He first brought up the idea when you were watching tv a few days ago, some random program late at night showing people on a beach, and Jungkook had seemed to be fixated on the screen. He wanted to visit the sea, for he had never been there before. You agreed to it, but you had to admit that you were scared too, so you compromised: you would start your water adventures at a pool, so he could test things out, see if he truly enjoyed being in the water and swimming.

A few calls later there you were, standing by the water. You picked a time when they said people weren’t usually in - it even involved getting a day off work so you could go this early, but you would do everything for Jungkook. You looked at him, observant, watching his reactions carefully. His ears were down the back of his head, his hands clenched together in front of his shirtless torso, his front teeth worrying into his bottom lip. You took one of his hands into yours and started taking him in the direction of the small ladder to enter the pool. For a moment you wanted to jump in, but you didn’t want to make him even more nervous.

“It’s okay, bun, we’re going into the shallower part so most of your body will be above the water, ok?”

He nodded, but still seemed hesitant to get in, waiting for you to do it first. You stepped down the small ladder, showing him that almost half of your body was above the water, that he would be safe and didn’t need to worry about this part. The water was on the warmer side; you thought going for the hot pool was the best idea to help him feel comfortable at first. He stepped in feet by feet, slowly, his nose scrunched, but the moment he felt the warmth on his feet it was like magic: his ears shot up and his eyes widened in surprise, his mouth coming into a small circle.

You smiled encouragingly and stepped back, giving him some space, seeing him put one of his feet to the bottom and then the other, grounding himself. He was taller than you and he noticed the difference in the level of the water surrounding you. You lowered your body, telling him you were doing it first so as not to frighten him and submerged yourself to get your hair wet. When you emerged, you saw his eyes were wide again, but his ears were not down as before. There was a glint of curiosity in his expression and you nodded in encouragement for him to try it out.

“It’s just like when you wet your hair in the tube, bun. Here, hold on to my hands and remember to hold your breath.”

He did so, holding them tightly in his fists as he bent his knees and lowered his body. You chuckled slightly when you saw that half of his ears were still out of the water, so you quickly untangled one of your hands from his and lightly pressed on them so they were submerged too. He got up and shook his head, water droplets flying everywhere. He started laughing when he saw you put your hands in your eyes, and you couldn’t help but laugh along with him.

“Good?”

“Yes, noona, it’s good.”

“Are you ready to go a bit deeper?” His long ears perked up at your question, but his face seemed apprehensive. “Not much, we’re not swimming today, just going a bit more so you can maybe try floating.” His head moved up and down, agreeing to the idea, and you couldn’t help but think it was so cute the way his ears moved too.

You grabbed both his hands again so you were looking at each other as you slowly started to step back further into the deeper part of the pool. You didn’t rush, letting him adjust to the increasing level of the water, and only moved when he seemed comfortable. Jungkook always loved to have baths, so you figured he would love going to the pool too, especially a hot one. His smile got wider with each step, feeling more confident and safe with you. When the water hit your shoulders, you stopped and let his hands go.

“Bun, let’s try floating, ok? We’re starting small today, so you can just come closer and put your arms around my shoulders.” You said as you turned your back to him, and almost immediately you felt his arms around you. “Good! Now try letting your feet rise from the floor, let your body float a little.”

He tentatively lifted his feet, clinging to you harder as his body moved with the slow slushing of the water.

“I’ve got you, Kook,” you said as you pressed your hands to his. “I’m not letting go. Trust me, bun. Kick your feet back and put your weight on me.”

You felt him kick the water behind you, his strong arms flexing as he let his weight fall onto you. You knew the moment he started to float and enjoyed it; he pressed his face against your neck and started giggling, and when you looked at him, his nose was scrunched with happiness. His long ears were slightly facing backward, his eyes half-closed, and his little tail wiggling. You walked around the same area of the pool while he kicked his feet behind him, laughing freely as he enjoyed himself. As soon as you taught him to swim you would be taking a small holiday on the beach; you wanted to see this joy in him forever.

This moment was worth everything.

4. Make sure they are getting enough attention

“Morning, noona.”

You heard his voice, so gentle and still thick from sleep, waking up to the sound and the small kisses, his lips softly pressing against the back of your neck, his nose smelling your hair, his warm chest pressed against your back. You made an attempt to move your body but he tightened his arms around you.

“No moving yet, noona.”

“Morning, bun. What are you doing?”

“Just making sure you’re not going to leave my arms today,” he started, and you noticed his voice was heavy with emotion.

“Bun?”

He stayed quiet, hiding his face on your shoulder blades, and you did not say anything else until you felt it, until you felt them. There were small droplets of tears falling on your skin, and you turned around quickly to look at him fighting his embrace. Your hands immediately went to his face, wiping his cheeks, seeing him close his eyes and just quietly crying. Whenever he got like this, he would usually be quieter, needing to talk in his own time, so you did not ask him anything else, giving him space to let his feelings out. All you did was press your forehead against his and wipe his tears with your thumbs, and when you saw he would not stop so soon, you hugged him, letting your shirt dampen without caring about it. The moment you cradled his head against your chest, sobs started to wreck his body, making him shake and you could feel tears gathering in your own eyes. You had no idea how long you were like that, slowly caressing his hair, minding his long ears, but all that mattered was Jungkook. Slowly you felt his body starting to shake less, his hard sobs turning into small hiccups as he almost clawed at your back, needing to be closer to you.

“You’re… you’re not leaving me, right, noona?” His voice was quiet, but his question was too loud in the silence of the bedroom on a Saturday morning.

“Jungkook… no, love, I’m not leaving you,” your heart started to crackle with this question, and you pressed him against you even more. “Why, why do you think that, bun?”

He sniffled, pressing his nose against you and inhaling deeply, then said, his tone still small, “I’m feeling lonely… this past week…”

“Oh, Kook…” it seemed impossible, but you held him even closer to you, “I’ve been just too busy and exhausted from work, I know I got here yesterday and you were already in bed… I’m sorry, I’m sorry...”

He sniffled again and you felt a new wave of fresh tears wetting your clothes.

“I thought…” he started, but his voice faltered. “I thought I made you mad. I thought you were angry at me… and that…” there was a small sob that shook his entire body, “I was scared, noona, I was scared you were going to take me back.”

You could not stop your own tears from falling on top of his head; you had no idea he had felt that way. You had tried texting him during the day whenever you could have a moment for yourself at work throughout this insane week, but again and again, they demanded more hours from you and you did not have the chance to say no. Jungkook was still finding his freedom and footing in the world, and it had worried you that you had to leave him to spend more time by himself than usual. But you never expected this reaction, and you made up your mind. They could ask someone else at work, why did it always have to be you?

“No, Kook… Listen, bun,” your voice trembled, so you paused to be more stable when talking to him. “I’m so sorry you were alone this week, this is not going to happen again, I promise. And the day you came home with me I made a promise, remember? I’m never taking you back unless you want to go.”

He shook his head quickly, signaling his opposition to the idea.

“I don’t want you to go either, bun. I love you, and I’m sorry again.”

He finally looked at you, murmuring I love you too, a small smile gracing his lips. Your chest was starting to feel lighter, starting to relax after being so worried at his crying. You had never seen him like this, and you never wanted to see it again.

“What do you need from me, bun?” you said and kissed his forehead, letting your lips linger for a brief second.

“Can we just… stay in bed today? I want to stay like this in your arms, I missed you too much, noona.”

“Whatever you want, love, I’m yours.”

“I never want to leave this bed,” he whined, burrowing closer to you, and you noticed that even though his face was swollen from the tears and his voice was hoarse, his ears were more relaxed than they were before; they were tense in a way that was new to you.

“What about food? And I’m sorry, you’re not using this bed as a toilet, ok?” you tried to lighten the mood and it worked, the sound of his delightful chuckle filling the room, and you laughed along. But you understood and agreed. You never wanted to leave this bed. And at least for the day, you would only leave when necessary, needing to feel him in your embrace and carefully observe as he truly started to believe in you, leaving his worries in the past.

5. Love them unconditionally

The first time it happened was purely accidental. You were cuddling on the sofa, watching television, your hand caressing his hair when you felt his entire body tremble with such force that you stopped and looked at him, your hands away from him.

“Jungkook, bun, what… did I hurt you?”

You were worried; his arms were crossed in front of his body and his hands clasped together tightly on his lap. His doe-like eyes were more expressive than ever, open wide, his long ears were down, and he seemed to still be shivering. What had you done? You noticed there was a pink hue starting to tint his cheeks and neck and when you kept staring at him, you saw that he tried to make himself smaller. You felt tears start to gather in the corners of your eyes, fearful that you had done something to remind him of his life before, as he usually referred to the time that preceded the shelter.

“I’m sorry, Jungkook. I’m so sorry, just tell me what I did so I don’t do it again.”

“You didn’t…” he started, his voice slightly higher-pitched than usual. He cleared his throat and continued, his eyes wandering around the living room,  “you… I…”

You nodded, trying to encourage him to speak, needing to know what went wrong.

“Noona… my ears… my bunny ears, they’re, hm, too sensitive,” he said, blushing harder, and he shuddered.

Oh.

Oh. Your gaze shifted downwards, and you could see his hands were trying to conceal his erection. You licked your lips unconsciously, and his eyes seemed to get even bigger.

“Bad sensitive or good sensitive?”

He looked down at your question, clenching his hands and pressing them on his crotch, but said “Good sensitive, I think?”

You scooted a little closer to him on the couch but still did not touch him. “Talk to me, bun,” you said softly, feeling that the subject was delicate, but you wanted to know whether or not to bring it up again, whether or not you could touch him like that.

“Noona… no one ever touched them like this before, like you,” he seemed hesitant, but continued nonetheless, “you don’t hurt me. You like it, you like me, right?”

You did not think twice before enveloping him into a hug, pressing him tight against you, overwhelmed with emotions at his question.

“I love you, Jungkook. Every part of you.” You had a feeling that this was what he needed to hear. It was not often that you saw him being insecure anymore, and it tugged on your heart uncomfortably. “You don’t ever have to feel bad with me, ok? I love you,” you repeated, emphasizing, trying to comfort him.

“I love you too, Y/n,” his voice continued soft, but he looked a tiny percentage more confident. “I think… at some point… maybe…” he looked at you, and you nodded again for him to continue. “I think I might want you to touch them when we’re, you know,” he wiggled his eyebrows up and down, chuckling, and there he was, getting back to you.

You laughed with him. It was unusual seeing him this shy in talking about sex, as he was definitely not shy at all performing it or even talking about it most of the time, but you understood this was a different issue.

“Only if it will make you feel good, bun, you know I don’t want to hurt you or make you uncomfortable,” you took his hand and held it, caressing the back of it with your thumb, and he nodded.

The next time it happened was not accidental at all, and it caught you by surprise.

You were already in bed, whispering sweet nothings as sleep didn’t reach you. The kiss started innocent enough, his lips pressing softly against yours while his hands stopped at your lower back, pulling you towards his body. His tongue caressed your lower lip and you opened your mouth, deepening the kiss as you pressed your body closer to his. His leg nudged its way between yours, and shortly after he rolled over you, his underwear not able to conceal his erection and you felt it directly where you needed it as he grabbed your leg and wrapped it around his waist.

His kisses moved down to your neck, nipping and sucking, his hips subtly moving, stimulating you. You grabbed his hair as he descended, lifting your tank top, softly sucking on your nipples as his hands started to lower your panties. He wasted no time, licking your slit from bottom to top, pausing to circle your clit before putting his lips around it and sucking rhythmically as one of his fingers teased your opening, slowly moving in and out. It wasn’t long until you felt your orgasm building that your hands grabbed his hair, pulling him up and towards you.

“I want you in me,” you whispered against his lips, tasting yourself, you needed to feel him.

He nodded and quickly removed his underwear, throwing it haphazardly behind him. He moved back between your legs, lowering his body on top of yours as you crossed your legs on his waist, helping the angle. His cock started to press into you and you felt the delicious stretch, inch by inch. His thickness filled you perfectly; you could almost feel the veiny lines that adorned the underside of his cock pressed on your walls, and whenever his hips made those small sharp trusts, the upwards curve of his erection put some pressure just right where your sweet spot was.

It was sweet and slow, your mouths connected in a seemingly never-ending kiss, his hips moving without rush, the pleasure building unhurriedly and constantly, his weight on top of you heightening the feelings. You started canting your hips with his, your languid movements following his rhythm, and his hand reached to yours, intertwined your fingers. He broke the kiss, looking into your eyes as he directed your hand to his hair. You immediately entangled your fingers on his dark strands, tugging on it and he moaned, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them again and stopping the movements of his hips. Before you could ask what happened, he pushed your fingers from his hair, shaking his head softly and smiling. Still staring, he lowered his head and made your fingertips graze against one of his long ears, almost a ghost-like touch. You opened your mouth in surprise and let out a loud moan at the same time, as your first touch on that sensitive part of his made him snap his hips hard once against yours.

A shiver perpassed his body, probably due to the intensity of the touch, but he looked at you and nodded, and so you did not hesitate. Your other hand went to his head too, so you could gently caress his bunny ears; he trembled again but started moving his hips, this time with more urgency and small whines came out of his mouth in between kisses on your neck. One of his hands sneaked between your bodies, his thumb circling your clit, pressing on it, needing you to get closer, the intensity of his orgasm starting to overwhelm him. You were already close, so close to it, but you wanted him to reach his peak with you.

“Can I…” you pause to moan, feeling the edge approaching, “can I touch your tail too?”

He seemed so lost in the moment that you had to repeat the question, the need clear in your voice, and upon hearing it again, he did not hesitate in moaning out an affirmation, curious to see what it would feel like. You waited until you were at the brink of the precipice, your right hand going down his body, his back. And just as a sharp snap of hips hit you just right, snapping the coil of your orgasm, your fingers reached the fluffy tail. Feeling your touch, Jungkook let out a loud shout and stopped his hips, his cock deep inside you as you felt him pulse and his entire body trembled. He fell on top of you as aftershocks still ran through his figure, little high-pitched moans leaving his lips. You were not sure how long you were like that, legs entangled, your fingers caressing his back soothingly as your own body calmed down from the intense orgasm.

“Jungkook?”

“I’m…” he moaned out, “good. We’re doing this again as soon as I have control over my body, okay?”

You chuckled and he moaned for you to stop, the tiniest of movements overwhelming his senses. The next time you giggled at a comment he made, he turned you over, pushing your upper body into the bed and hoisting your hips up, and you certainly did not laugh anymore that night.

+1: Expect to be surprised by them

You heard the commotion outside on the street and you ran out of the apartment to the front door of the small building to see what it was about, and you opened it just in time to see Jungkook stepping out of the cause of the noise.

“Bun, what’s all this?”

“Oh hi noona! Surprise!”

It was indeed a surprise. This morning you had woken up and could not find Jungkook anywhere so you assumed he had gone for a run, but apparently not. There he was standing and waving at you in front of a camper van, a huge smile on his face, his long ears perked up. You could see your neighbors, Taehyung and his cat hybrid Jimin next to him, a sheepish expression on Taehyung’s face and a smile as big as Jungkook’s on Jimin’s lips.

“We’re going camping, noona!” Jungkook said as he approached you, enveloping you into his arms. “You’ve been so tired from work and now that you have a break, I thought we could go camping and have some fun…”

“Right now?” You asked, a little overwhelmed, but starting to get excited about the idea.

“Yes! Taehyung-hyung called up this place and rented the van, we got groceries, and Jimin even helped me pick a new coat for you, noona, I know you needed one.”

You felt your eyes tear up. You were so used to taking care of Jungkook and putting him in the first place that it was strange having someone take care of you like this. But this was Jungkook, you should have expected that. The day you brought him home from the shelter, he had said he would take care of you just as much as you would take care of him. You kissed him softly, pressing him against your body, and you whispered a thank you low in his ear.

“I love you, noona. Now let’s get your things ready, we have to get going, or else Tae-hyung said he is going to play all his old records in this player he brought the entire trip,” he stated wide-eyed and clearly hinting that he definitely did not want that.

You chuckled, knowing how picky Jungkook was with everything - his food, his clothes, his music. You took his hand and pulled him into the house, waving to the other boys at the front, signaling you would be out in a minute. You quickly packed a bag with Jungkook’s help and you waited as he got his camera and equipment bag, not forgetting the aux cord, set on not letting the other boys have control over the music.

What you would find only later on that evening is that for the first night, Taehyung and Jimin would set their tent a little far from the camp, giving you two some space for the date Jungkook had planned. A bottle of your favorite wine, Jungkook cooking a simple dinner by the fire camp, the bun’s eyes shining brightly as he scrunched his nose, and his small tail wagging slowly to the rhythm of a Frank Sinatra record under the moonlight.

--

Hope you enjoyed it and if you want to read more, how about finding out about the first time bun!Jungkook went to the beach?

[nightswithkookmin]

OH I REALLY WAS GONNA GO...

Close shop and everything. I was done ready to pack my bags.

To some extent I am done.

But then I heard some doodles and crayons rallying up to block and report me blah blah

One thing i hate more than being a headless super obsessed toxic stan is unhinged bigots and racist homophobic antis who try to weaponize their numbers to silence people.

That's where I draw the line.

I'm not going anywhere they can fume and die😌

The last i checked, projecting yourself and your views and values on to others and idols isn't a crime nor does it violate any social media platform policies.

Tumblr can't eject me just because I think my bias holds certain views or do not hold certain views.

It's called free speech free expression and once these racist homophobic bubble gums pass kindergarten they'll finally figure out how it all works.

Thats not to say I'm not taking time out to work on myself and heal my traumas. Mental health is something I take seriously in spite of my pettiness and kickass nature.

Not allowing myself to be bullied, silenced etc is to me a form of self love. So I'm here. They are gonna smell my pepper from now

I'm in the process of realigning myself and reorienting myself with my values because I feel I had slowly gradually started to compromise it in the name of stanning.

I am one person who being gay and black, used to be heavily uncomfortable with certain remarks and jokes BTS made in the past and even dealt with the brunt of certain artistic choices they made.

From certain members teasing others for their dark skin and tanned skin. Claiming certain members are too dark to see in a room, and making fun of them for becoming too tanned in the sun- through to the cultural appropriation.

Being dark skinned, and having been raised a black kid, I used to get told a lot that my black skin is nasty. Heard the too dark to spot in bed joke one too many times. Have been told to bleach my skin and lighten it up to look pretty. Soak in acid. Have been compared to baboons and monkeys because I'm black skinned.

So to see people I stan repeat these same rhetorics to eachother, make fun of eachother because they have darker skin, it really did a number on me.

At the very least, these statements they made were emboldening the racist pockets of the fandom and normalizing color discrimination. Not to mention it pushed some of us to internalize racism and hate for ourselves and our skins.

But I called it out. Foreign culture or not black people exist and there are black people in South Korea. It's insensitive for them not to know that these rhetorics are wrong and rooted in colorism and racism.

I take pride in the fact, I didn't let my love for BTS cloud my judgment. I spoke up for myself and for other dark skinned people who felt harmed by these jokes they made.

Not everyone who criticizes BTS is their enemy or anti or fake stan. I think it's brainless and disingenuous to lump everyone who so much as calls BTS out for when they say and do problematic stuff into the pocket of anti. That's what brainless stans do.

BTS gets criticized a lot. Some are baseless criticisms rooted in malice and some I'd say are constructive. And if by now you can't tell the difference then sorry for you.

Last year, Agust D came under fire for sampling bits of Jim Jones in his music and to this day some people still don't know why it was problematic for him to have made that artistic choice.

JK went out to Itaewon with his friends. Doesn't seem harmful. But he's choice resulted in the LGBTQ plus community being blamed and stigmatized for spreading the Corona virus.

As a queer woman, am I supposed to applaud him and his friends in this situation or even defend them when the LGBTQ community is the one that suffered the most and is still suffering for their actions?

I hate to be the one to say this, but BTS and idols in general are influencers too. They may not intentionally set out to promote certain life styles but people look up to them and people buy into their messages, advocacy and lifestyle.

Making self deprecating jokes about their bodies is all fun and all until you realize there are little boys and girls at home who look exactly like them or have their exact body type.

And each time they say their body isn't nice. That they are fat and they need to lose weight or do this or that to be beautiful and valid, they are not just saying it to themselves. They are reaffirming the self deprecating beliefs of the millions of people who watch them and stan them about their looks and their bodies.

Fat phobia is real. Body dysmorphia is real and you may not think your faves suffer from these but there are people out there in the community who do.

It's like my mixed cousins who express frustration because they aren't white enough or their eyes aren't blue or their hair isn't straight. They hate the blackness in them and that is internalized racism. When they express these frustrations to me it makes me sad. It hurts me and makes me question whether I'm in the right to be confident in my blackness.

That's the same thing BTS do to people with body issues when they talk shit about themselves. Shit is not funny at all.

And I feel sad that i lost sight of that along the way thinking my faves could do no wrong and that everything they do is perfect and acceptable.

Worse, I held on to this delusional belief that my faves are so perfect I missed when I started imposing my standard of perfection on to them.

In my perfect world, my fave is ok with who they are, is so perfect they don't wanna change anything about themselves, aren't problematic, dont have a dark past, don't have their own issues they deal with and everything they do is just right perfect.

I called my fave perfect one too many times it started to look that way in my head. They are beautiful and yes they are perfect but they are human too.

I'm wrong. My fave is wrong and we both need to hit a timeout.

Yesterday, I saw hashtags trending on Twitter because Hybe staff had decided to use speech often co opted by antis against a certain member.

It's crazy how we as fans can hold other people accountable for when they use speech that harms the members but can't call those same members out when they use speech that harms themselves.

To put this into perspective, there's another fave i stan who in recent times talks about how they don't like their face anymore and that they don't feel handsome.

Immediately, i go, that's not true sir you are being too hard on yourself and even join a certain nasty group of shippers in reaffirming and reassuring him that he is handsome- as JK says very often.

But I think if this fave of mine started wearing too much makeup to hide their face because they thought it wasn't as beautiful, or if this fave decided to go under the knife to get work done on his face to look beautiful then I'd have serious issues with that.

It would be frustrating if people came out to defend this fave claiming 'he enjoys going under the knife' and he 'enjoys wearing make up' and proceed to hurl slurs at others who point out how not ok that is by calling such people fake stans and antis and go on blocks demanding people block them etc.

I'm just gonna chalk this whole controversy over Jimin down to range. Not everyone has the debt and range to engage in certain conversations and as someone pointed out beauty standards are complicated and nuanced.

I know the kind of stan i want to be. And it is not the kind of stan who bully others to defend my bias when they've done something wrong or grey.

I have always thought of myself as someone who would defend my faves even against themselves regardless of what anyone else thinks.

I don't want to compromise my values for anyone and I'm not going to. I think Jimin self deprecating and degrading his body and proceeding to tweak it through exercising is fucked up. I won't recommend anyone do that.

And if there are environmental and psychological factors that are pushing him and impacting his choices like I theorized in past posts then i can understand and empathize with him. Idol industry will fuck you up physically and mentally.

After careful consideration that's the stand I've taken. And i think that's what I needed to hear days ago on this topic.

And If his decision to exercise his body and buff up comes from a place of self love and not because he hates body and thinks it doesn't look nice then I think that is worth celebrating and I need to accept that too.

I'm chilling on the shipping and stanning shit like I said. I don't think I owe anyone explanations for it. I'm just taking care of myself and my mental health.

But I'm gonna exist in here till haters explode and rain down like a billion confetti tossed in the air.

GOLDY

[bubblesuga]

A Match Into Water

Summary: Sometimes all Yoongi needs is a warm cabin, and you. W/C: 2,068 Warnings: mentions of smut, cussing, slight angst but mostly fluff

There’s something undeniably gorgeous about the Rocky Mountains of the western US. The sun shines brightly in the middle of the day and cloud coverage is practically non-existent, yet the snow resting on the peaks of the mountains persists like the buzzing of a bee desperately trying to find it’s hive. 

At times, it becomes more of a hindrance to Min Yoongi. He doesn’t like the cold. Hell, he hates it. The brush of the cold winter breeze drags his mood down into the deepest depths of a sinking black hole that he just can’t seem to pull himself away from. This vacation was supposed to help him, bring his mood up and inspire his creativity. Unfortunately it seems to have had the opposite affect. 

“Oh come on,” the girl who followed him on this company appointed vacation is cute, she knows English and helps Yoongi get around, “you’re supposed to be having fun.” 

“You’re insufferable sometimes, you know that?” Yoongi drawls, sipping his warm coffee and sitting in front of the wide window of the rented cabin. American coffee sucks. 

“I’m insufferable? Min Yoongi, you have not left this cabin once since we arrived. You’re like a fucking cat that doesn’t want to move from the one spot of sun inside the house.” her voice is loud, confident. Her lips curl downward and for a moment, Yoongi feels disappointment rush through his veins. He prefers her smile more than he’d be willing to admit. 

He shrugs, taking a long sip, “I like the sun.” 

She groans, falling back onto the well decorated couch, “Can you at least try skiing?” 

“Skiing involves the cold.” 

“Yeah, Yoongi. It’s winter.” 

“Maybe I didn’t want to come here! Maybe I wanted to stay in Korea, I wanted to write the album, and I wanted to move on!” Yoongi bites back, setting down his cup and turning to her. Her face is red, but she stares up at the ceiling as if she’s alone in the room. Yoongi resists the urge to lay beside her, to stroke her hair and ask if she’ll kiss him. 

She huffs, pulling herself up and meeting Yoongi’s eyes, “I’m sorry you didn’t get that opportunity. You’ve been in a rut and your company thought it’d be best for you to get away.” 

“Ah, and why’d they bring you here with me then?” 

“I’m your assistant, you dick.” she stands again and walks away momentarily. For a moment Yoongi thinks he went too far, sometimes the venom at the tip of is tongue moves too fast for him to catch with his lips. It’s not even true, he wants her here more than anyone else. 

When she reemerges from Yoongi’s room, she holds a jacket and warm sweats. 

“Change into these, we’re going down the mountain and shopping.” she’s demanding, maybe Yoongi should listen to her. 

“Why? If you’re my assistant, shouldn’t you be listening to what I want?” not without a little fight, though. 

“Now, Min Yoongi.” 

He chuckles, downing the rest of his coffee and slipping off the hoodie he already wore for the warmer jacket you brought out. She tries not to let her eyes linger on his briefly exposed abdomen when his shirt slides up with his hoodie. Instead, she opts for a nice look at the scenery outside. 

Yoongi’s legs briefly feel the cold of the cabin on his bare legs as he slips on the warm sweats. He’s let himself become comfortable with his assistant, more so than the past women who followed him around and listened to his every wish. This one is different. She’s feisty, opinionated, determined. He likes that a lot. Especially when she crosses her arms and pouts when he tries to fight her decisions. 

He glances at her, the sun reflecting off the snow and shining in her gorgeous eyes. He knows he shouldn’t feel the things he feels for her, but she makes it so damn difficult not to. How was he not supposed to fall for the pretty girl who smiles big and tells him when he’s being an asshole? Everything about her was exactly what he wanted in a woman. So, maybe listening to her wasn’t such a bad thing. 

~*~*~

“When I graduated college, I traveled throughout the world for a year. It made learning English pretty easy.” she shrugs, twirling the pasta around her fork. After shopping for a few hours, Yoongi insisted on stopping at the one Italian restaurant in the small valley at the bottom of the mountains. He only insisted because he knows it’s her favorite. 

“Ah, without you here I would be screwed.” Yoongi shrugs, reaching his fork across the table and digging it into a piece of chicken on her plate. She doesn’t make the effort to slap his hand away, instead reaching for his sangria and taking a sip. 

“I think that in a lot of aspects in your life. Where would you be if I didn’t pick out your outfits for the day?” she giggles as she speaks, already knowing the answer to her ridiculous question. 

“Hm,” he hums, slurping up some of his own food and pausing to swallow, “struggling to tell my right from my left sock.” 

Yoongi grins from ear to ear the moment her laughter leaves her lips. 

This is how their days together were usually spent in Korea, so the fact that the slush covered streets didn’t deter the two of them made moments like these even more special. 

“Why don’t you date?” she asks suddenly, stacking their plates as they were cleared off. 

Yoongi nearly chokes on his drink, taking a deep breath through his nose before swallowing the liquid in his mouth. He clears his throat, “what makes you ask that?” 

“Well,” her face turns slightly red, “I’ve seen all the other members dating. Bring people home. I’ve just never seen you do that so I was just curious as to why.” 

He can tell that she feels like she’s over stepping a boundary. Maybe she is. Of course it’s not appropriate for an assistant to ask her boss why he isn’t so keen on finding a woman to date. Yet, Yoongi isn’t upset by the question. Shocked? Possibly, but he doesn’t feel the need to deny her of an answer. 

“I have my eye on someone, I’m just not sure if she knows that I like her yet.” his words fall off his lips unstirred, landing into a pile on the table that Yoongi suddenly feels desperate to wipe away. Why even give her the notion that he may be interested in her? 

She smiles, but it doesn’t quite brighten up her face like her usual ones, “Who’s the lucky guy or gal?” 

Yoongi raises an eyebrow, “Lucky, eh?” 

“Well, yeah,” she laughs nervously, as though she didn’t mean to say what she said, “you’re a catch, Min Yoongi. Anyone would be lucky to have you.” 

He chuckles, that same breathy chuckle that seems to have an affect on women he meets. It comes across as careless, unwavering in his attempt to pull off his cool persona, yet it’s really just a ruse to hide the fact that he wants nothing more than to take this woman home and fall asleep with her between his arms. Yoongi meets her eyes momentarily, catching a shine in her shaking pupil. He drags his bottom lip between his teeth while his eyes drag to his assistants lips. They’re cherry red, stained with the remnants of his cherry sangria. He bets they’d taste amazing. 

Nodding, he speaks, “Would you feel lucky to have me?”

Her breath stutters as her eyes go wide. She seems to contemplate for a moment before she opens her mouth, “U- uhm, I’ll go get the bill.” 

Abruptly, she turns away and walks towards the front counter. Yoongi sighs, waiting for a moment before placing a 20 on the table and collecting both of their things. Multiple bags from various stores around the valley fill his arms and he quietly follows her back out into the street. 

In an almost unspoken decision, the two of them begin their trek back to the car and Yoongi drives them back into the mountains just as the sun is about to set. 

Though silent, Yoongi could tell his assistant was nervous. Her fingers fiddled in her lap while she stared out of the window into the dark wooded road. 

Perhaps he had been to abrupt. Perhaps he should have broke his interest to her a little slower. Or not at all. It probably would have been better for anyone if he didn’t say anything at all. 

~*~*~

His usual night routine began with a shower. Afterward, he brushed his teeth and blow dried his hair. Then, he turned on the bedside lamp and opened a book Namjoon had suggested to him ages ago. ‘The Unbearable Lightness of Being’ has become some sort of sick irony to him now. Minus the mistress, living awkwardly with a woman and not being able to leave quite yet was how he lived his life. 

It’s only been 2 days since he said anything to her, yet it felt like an eternity. There wasn’t anymore jokes, nor did he feel like he could speak to her as an equal. She called him Mr. Min, and it hurt. 

Suddenly, he hears a knock on his door frame. He glances up, and she stands in his doorway in her sleep wear. An oversized T-shirt and shorts that hid subtly beneath.

“Hello.” he greets, closing his book and setting it on the night stand. Sliding his glasses off his face, he turns his attention to her. She fiddles with the hem of her shirt, swallowing nervously. 

“When you asked if I would feel lucky to be with you, what did you mean?” 

Oh, so we’re getting right into it. 

Despite only being a couple years younger than Yoongi, she seemed nearly child-like as she asked the question. Her eyes stay glued to her feet while she sways gently. 

“Just that. Would you feel lucky to be with me?” 

She nearly scoffs, “What kind of a question is that?” 

Yoongi rolls his eyes, “Answer the question.” 

With a huff, she walks into the room and sits at the foot of Yoongi’s bed, “Of course I would be lucky to be with you, dumbass. You’re Min Yoongi.” 

“No,” Yoongi isn’t satisfied with that answer, “would you be satisfied with just being with Yoongi. Not Suga of BTS, not Agust D. Just... Yoongi.” 

She tilts her head adorably, her forehead creasing with concern, “That’s what I mean. You’re Yoongi, I’d be the luckiest girl in the world.” 

He smiles, crossing his legs and leaning forward, “That’s what sets you apart from other people. They don’t want just Yoongi. They want the identity I’ve created for the public.” 

“So that’s why you don’t want to date?” 

“I do,” he sighs, “I just want to with you.” 

She swallows, “Are you asking me out?” 

Yoongi shrugs, “If that’s what you want this to be, then yes.” 

As though the heavens had opened up and an angel had descended right in front of Yoongi, her face is bright with delight. She leans forward, crashing her lips onto Yoongi’s.

He’s quick to wrap his arms around her, bringing her as close to him as possible. Her frame fits against his perfectly, just as he had imagined so many times before. Yoongi feels his abdomen ignite with butterflies while her hands move to cup his cheeks. She rests her forehead gently against his, her breathing ragged. 

“Maybe this vacation wasn’t so bad.” Yoongi jokes, kissing each of her cheeks. 

Her eyes flutter close, “I’ve been telling you that from the beginning.” 

He grins, “I wanted you to prove it to me.” 

“Well, did I?” 

Yoongi doesn’t respond, he simply brings his lips back to hers. 

He gently lays her onto the bed, careful not to break the kiss. Her hands grip the back of his shirt as if he could disappear in her arms. It takes everything in him not to begin kissing down her neck, the last thing he wants is to scare her off. Yet, she encourages him. 

“I’m on the pill.” She whispers against his lips, and Yoongi grins. This was going to be a very fun night.

[bts-weverse-trans]

201123 Weverse Magazine 'BE' Comeback Interview - Jimin

Jimin: “I’m the kind of person who likes to be loved” BTS BE comeback interview 2020.11.23

When he’s talking, Jimin often starts his sentence with phrases like, “I just,” “it just,” “they just …” But then he immediately goes on to open up about his feelings, always providing a sincere response.

On one V-LIVE session back in October, you wore the clothes that you had planned to wear at the airport if you were to go on tour. Jimin: I hadn’t really noticed, but I think I’ve finally come to terms with the reality of our present situation.

By “situation,” you mean how it’s difficult to meet your fans in person? Jimin: Yes. If we had to go on stage in this situation, or if we had to perform our songs, I’m not sure how we would go about accomplishing that. At the same time, It felt like something that was closed up and blocked was opened up again. There isn’t the kind of excitement we got from tour season, though, so it’s easy to feel worn out. But, just like when we’re making new songs, I try to do whatever I can.

BE feels like it’s all about taking care of your feelings and the process of moving forward. Jimin: I had the role of listening to what the members wanted to include in the album, but it’s more a record of the present than it is about our individual feelings. We talked openly about how we’re having a hard time and how we’re trying our best to get over things, and that became the album.

As the project manager for BE, how did you go about gathering and organizing all the members’ ideas? Jimin: I became the project manager because Yoongi recommended I do it, but I didn’t think I had to lead anything along, more just make sure the other members could do their work quickly and easily. Usually that meant asking about their opinions, or passing opinions back and forth with our company. So I would collect ideas, organize them, say, “These are some of the ideas we got back. What do you think?”—ask them again, if they said okay, pass it on to the company, and if they made a song, I sent that over, too.

How did you prod along the members who were taking too long with their ideas? (laughs) Jimin: I would mention them by name in our group chat, and that got them to reply. (laughs) Any time I said someone or other didn’t submit their idea yet, all the others would chime in with, “Hurry up, guys!” and then they’d give it to me.

Sounds like it’s great for one of the members to be project manager. (laughs) How did you accommodate all the different ideas? Jimin: When we first started, we sat down for about an hour and said: If you feel downtrodden, just make a song about feeling desperate; if you want to give others hope, go ahead and write a hopeful song. Let’s find the topic and work from there. And since there’s seven of us, and the album’s going to be about current events, let’s put in one skit to make seven songs; and let’s not put in any solo songs. Let’s make something that we can all work on together.

That approach must have been different from the way you worked on your other recent albums. Jimin: We never said anything like, somebody will make this song and someone else will make that song. We would just take a song and say, Who wants to do this? Who wants to do that? I became more ambitious, and wanted the other members to recognize the work I was doing. And because it was so fun working together, any time I made something, I wanted to play it for them right away. I also loved when they gave me compliments, so that added to the fun. When the songs are eventually finished, we hoped the fans would be able to pick up on all those emotions exactly as we felt them, although there are some songs that didn’t make the cut. (laughs) It was really fun.

You could say that, while it’s important to deliver songs to the fans, the process of creation itself is also important. Jimin: A little while ago, I learned something new about myself: I’m the kind of person who likes to be loved. Looking back, I realized I do what I do not just for the work itself, but to be loved by my friends, family, the group, and fans. It’s been really hard to hold onto those connections, but I felt a fullness once I was sure of that love and kept those relationships close. It was like getting something of my own.

Rather than simply being loved, is it actually a satisfaction arising from the effort involved and the deep sense of trust it builds? Jimin: I used to think more frequently about what I was getting from them than what I was doing for everyone else. Even if I don’t strictly owe our fans or group members anything in return, I feel a deep and sincere appreciation for all the things they do for me. I also saw some people for who they really are, some people who don’t really care about me. Rather than pushing those people away, I learned how to react less emotionally to them. Likewise, I was able to be more emotionally honest with people who are very considerate toward me.

It’s become difficult to express those kinds of feelings to fans these days. The only choice, really, is to talk to them through your songs. What is your message this time? Jimin: There’s a message in every album and music video we make; but you don’t have to understand the message, I just hope you enjoy listening and watching. That’s the first thing. I hope you really like the songs and videos I created while working to not become complacent, so I took great care and practiced a lot to present something perfect to you.

On that note, I think your singing and dancing are changing quite a bit. Your performances in “Black Swan” and “Dynamite” are completely different, but perhaps because of your changed body silhouette, the feel of your dance has become more consistent. As a dancer, what is it you want to express? Jimin: I just hope my emotions come across. I just want the emotions I put into my dancing, actions, and singing to be felt. So I got a lot of feedback, asked around, did some research and found that for each emotion you might express on stage, there’s a body most appropriate for the job. We all have different body types. In order to get the body that can best express my emotions at my age, I went on a strict diet, but I don’t stick to it nearly as intensely as I used to. (laughs)

If you watch your dance in “Dynamite,” your body, especially when you turn away, looks different from before. You look lighter. What effect did your new body have on your dance moves? Jimin: I look how I want to look when I’m around 58 kg, so I went on a diet and lost 5 kg. That’s when I found the look I wanted to present to everyone. I can’t be objective about myself, but there was a certain vibe that I wanted. In the past I tried really hard to be no-frills, and by focusing less on trying something new and more on avoiding mistakes, I prevented myself from advancing any further. But in “Dynamite,” I tried out expressions I’d never tried before. I wanted people to be able to tell that I was really concentrating on this when they watched the video, so for this song, I tried to be sentimental and—how should I put this—I even tried to look suave (laughs) and funny, too . I ended up focusing on painting a single picture rather than on each of the individual elements.

And what is it you wanted to show off? Jimin: We haven’t been able to put on a real show during COVID-19. I wanted to show that we didn’t waste all that time but rather have kept going through it all, that we keep working hard. But portraying “working hard” through dance would look really tiring, so I smiled and danced throughout filming “Dynamite.”

How was that possible? It couldn’t have been easy to keep the whole team motivated. Jimin: With the spread of COVID-19, it took us a while to really believe our rise to the top of the Billboard Hot 100. When we checked our phones and it said we got first place we were amazed, but it was hard to believe, although we were all crying. (laughs) But when COVID-19 first hit, we said, “Ah, it’ll pass quickly and we’ll be right back on tour.” The reason was that we had said, even if it gets tough, let’s give it our all for the next year. Give it our all and collapse.. That was the plan, but we were really disappointed. What was worse was, when I heard it would be hard to have any performances this year, my head … it sort of went blank. My mind was empty. We couldn’t just take a break either. Other people had it really hard but we could keep working. I didn’t know whether we should be happy or sad about it. There were no answers for anything. It was really tough.

How did you get over that? Jimin: If an interviewer or anyone else asked me what my goal was, I told them my goal is to perform with the members for a long time, and that is probably my biggest goal; but I was really saying that to the group: I want to be with you guys for a really long time. I think we conveyed that feeling well to one another. I seriously worried a lot that the group would get exhausted. But they’d be laughing with one another, cheering each other up. We had a lot more time to chat together, so whatever was going on, we could always talk about it over a drink at our home and work it out.

What makes you take your work so seriously? Jimin: I really want to love this job inside and out. If we just look at work as work, all we’ll be after is money, but I never once thought that our group’s dynamic, or the relationship we have with our fans, was based on that. But I think if you’re exhausted mentally and physically, the work becomes a chore, and then your relationships will inevitably suffer. That’s what I was afraid of.

The song “Dis-ease” is about how each member feels about working. How do you feel about your work? Jimin: I don’t consider my main profession, performing and singing, “going to work.”. But when I’m doing something else with the camera right in front of me,that feels like “work.” Singing and performing for our fans isn’t work—it’s something I really, really want to do.

You helped write “Dis-ease,” correct? Jimin: The bridge. I was recording with Pdogg and there was one part that didn’t have a melody, so—should I call it improv?—I was just singing something without thinking about it, and then he asked me to sing that again. So I asked if he was sure, and then he asked me to write the melody, so I ended up writing it.

Some of the other songs on BE have something like that too, but “Dis-ease” somehow feels particularly like old school Korean hip hop. Jimin: I thought so too. I thought of 20 years ago when I sang it. The majority of the song was written by j-hope, so that might just be my thinking (laughs) but I sang it when there was a question mark on who would sing the vocals. I was really doing whatever I wanted, so I sort of had to be restrained (laughs) but it was fun.

Was there any place the vocals changed while recording? There are a lot of parts on BE where you use almost a normal speaking voice. Jimin: I usually already have the big picture set in my mind when I sing, but this time it wasn’t like that. “Life Goes On,” especially—that song’s not about me, but I couldn’t help but empathize with it, so right from the beginning I performed it without having to think about how my voice should sound. I wasn’t thinking about some particular emotion of mine I wanted to express to you. I just recorded exactly the feelings I had as I sang.

There’s a song titled, “Telepathy.” When you streamed yourselves in production on YouTube, the group mentioned the idea of telepathy which made me think you were sending the song directly to your fans. If you could talk to them through telepathy, what would you say? Jimin: People have kind hearts, and I just hope they don’t let that go. You asked about telepathy, but I think we really do have a telepathic connection with our fans. It’s not crystal clear or anything, but I think if we’re sincere then they can feel it somehow. I think that’s why our fans support us and are always by our side.

And what about the other way around? What would you like to hear from your fans? Jimin: One thing I’m always curious about, about our fans, is what’s the hardest thing in their lives. What each of them is struggling with, what’s making them happy—I’m really curious to know. We face our own difficulties as well, so I always wonder if there’s someone in each of our fans’ lives to ask them if they’re doing okay. I hope things get better soon, that people can keep holding on, and that the adults will follow all the rules. Kids don’t have a lot of options right now to do the things they want to do. I imagine a lot of kids see this as something that’s being forced upon them by adults, so I hope the grown-ups will properly explain the situation to the kids so they can help each other too, to end the pandemic.

The news is saying that they’ve made a COVID-19 vaccine, so you might be able to meet your fans sooner than later. What are you going to say to them when you finally see them again? Jimin: I don’t think we’ll say anything. I think we’ll just look at each other for a very long time. And if I’m able to say anything, I’ll probably say, “You made it. Now let’s get back to having a good time.”

Trans © Weverse

[fyeah-bangtan7]

V: “I have a desire to perfect one cool thing about myself”

As he’s being interviewed, V speaks his mind at a relaxed pace. But there was one moment where he kept on speaking without taking a breath. Look for that moment in the interview below. You listen to a lot of old music on vinyl. Has any particular artist’s music excited you since your last interview with Weverse Magazine? V: I was listening to Louis Armstrong’s music again. And I picked up some albums with a pretty jacket that’s also got a lot of really good hits on it.

How do you feel when you’re listening to those classics? V: I feel like I’m beginning to relax a bit. If I listen to a song when I’m feeling depressed and then really get thinking, the things that are frustrating me disappear, and I can feel myself becoming more peaceful. And it makes me picture things in my head. For example, some songs might make me think of seeing something in front of me while walking down the road somewhere at night when I listen to them. I think setting the mood for listeners is the most important thing. The mood will presumably be different for everyone, but for me, those songs are the ones that are good at setting a really beautiful mood in the moment.

You said that you got inspiration from artists of the past like Sammy Davis Jr. for your performance in “Dynamite.” Was there any artist who inspired you for “Butter”? V: Well, there was Billy Joel. When I shoot a music video, I think of a movie more than any one artist. And when I perform on stage, for some songs I think of the way movies like Reservoir Dogs look. For “Butter,” I watched a lot of teen movies. And musicals. After that I randomly ended up seeing a video on YouTube of some scenes from an old teen movie Johnny Depp did [which turned out to be the movie Cry-Baby]. The image I got from that was really intense. That’s the look I used in “Butter.”

“Butter” felt like a teen musical to me and now I know why. V: I did it like a teen musical, just like you say. When we shot the “Butter” music video, I really, really tried to shoot the part in the elevator so it would feel like a teen movie. Although a lot of takes were edited, so not all of it’s there. (laughs)

What kind of feeling do you get from that kind of teen movie that you find so charming? V: For me, teen movies show a youthfulness that’s appropriate for the age. I think there’s an appropriate mix of emotion, energy, and a completely different and peculiar mood that everyone necessarily experiences at that age. If you watch teen movies, they’re overflowing with energy and full of sunny emotion, but behind it all they’re not as bright as they seem. They are really bright, but the color itself almost feels like some kind of filter. They feel like they have a different filter than other movies, so I tried thinking of teen movies when we shot the music video and put on performances.

That teen movie feeling seems to be divided in two between “Butter” and “Permission to Dance.” By the looks of the thumbnails for the fancam focus videos uploaded to the BANGTANTV YouTube channel, “Butter” seems to showcase a really cool character, while “Permission to Dance” is more teenagers smiling brightly for children. V: The teen movie vibe in “Butter” and “Permission to Dance” are different from one another. We showed the sunny image people usually think of when they think of teen movies in “Permission to Dance.”

Do you think that going with the teen movie vibe influenced your vocals to be the new style that you used? In “Butter,” you still had your signature vocals but without the deep notes, giving them a new feeling. V: That’s because, when we’re given a concept, we have to come up with vocals that fit with the concept. I think my singing style matched up with the concept, so I feel relatively satisfied. There was nothing majorly difficult about actually changing the style itself, since unlike changing your voice, you only have to change your vocal technique. Having said that, even though the notes in “Butter” were high for me, I still hit them! (laughs)

I guess hitting the high notes was your assignment this time around as a vocalist. V: I’ve been working a long time to make up for my weak points. For example, I thought I was weak when it comes to high notes because I sing low parts a lot and I tend to sing in a flowing way. But I had trouble when we were recording “Dynamite” and I had to sing the high notes during the chorus. I got so mad (laughs) so I practiced a lot.

How does it feel to see the results you’re seeing with “Butter” now after all that effort? V: I’m just trying not to rest on my laurels. Like instead of savoring the feeling, I feel like I should go to bed early for everything I have to do the next day? Getting back in tiptop shape quickly is what’s important, so I haven’t really had time to bask in the joy very much. I’m just working hard at the work I had like I always do.In your 

New Year’s greeting on YouTube, you said you regretted not being able to put on the show for ARMY you wanted, and that your 2021 resolution is to “follow my own pace and pattern” when you work on music. Do you think your personal pace and your professional pace are in step this year? V: No. [My professional pace is] fast, so fast. (laughs) We have a lot we have to get ready for since we’re always promoting. It can be challenging sometimes, but in a way, I think it’s also given me a good opportunity to become a little stronger.

I imagine it’s meaningful to do the work for your own songs, because you can slip into your own world. You also made “Blue & Grey” when you were having a hard time, and it consequently became a song that allowed you to empathize with many people and vice versa. Looking back now, what kind of song do you think “Blue & Grey” will be remembered as? V: I think with “Blue & Grey” I just wanted the song to let people know how I was feeling, and how we were feeling, at that time a little better. Obviously everyone was having a hard time, but I think I wanted to share those emotions with ARMY as-is, including the pains we went through in our growth process. And, to put it another way, I think I just felt like making it obvious. (laughs) I thought it was okay to be that obvious, seeing as I couldn’t put those feelings into words. I just hope people could understand how I was feeling; it’s okay if it becomes forgotten later on.

In the “BE-hind Story” interview on YouTube, you talked about the first line of “Blue & Grey”: “Where is my angel?” You explained how, when you have any kind of issue, you close your eyes and wish for your angel to come and think. Are there times when it seems like your angel understands your feelings, as you just mentioned? V: I get a ton of answers by doing it. I’m not religious, but whenever I have some kind of issue, I close my eyes and think about it. Is this right, the way I’m thinking about this, or not? They’re just yes or no questions, like, Does my outfit look good today? Instead of just worrying about what you should do, if you tackle it in the form of a question, you  get a response with the answer.

I guess it could work when you’re looking for inspiration in your life, but what about for your music? In your previous Weverse Magazine interview, you said you make a note whenever you feel something. V: I write in my diary in hopes that it’ll help with writing lyrics and so I don’t forget those feelings. I do it constantly—I open up my diary whenever something comes up. I copy melodies that pop up in my mind, lyrics, and other things from my diary to my notes app temporarily, and when I’m taking a break or I get the urge to work, I open my notes and say, Let’s try this out today, and run over to the studio.

You released “Snow Flower,” featuring Peakboy by V, on Christmas Day. Is that another song you ran to the studio to work on after the feeling came to you? V: For that song, when I was drinking with some older musicians, we were talking about doing a song together, and then we were like, Well, do you think we’ll have time to do that? So we decided to do it right then since everyone was available. My mixtape was delayed, so I at least wanted to play a different song for ARMY, and I thought, since I’m a bit tipsy (laughs) I thought I should try writing something. So I made the song really quickly. In maybe three hours.

Even though you made it quickly, the composition is somewhat complex and it has the same unique atmosphere that “Blue & Grey” did. V: There’s times when I’m, like, in the zone (laughs) and can make a song all in one sitting, but when I’m not feeling it, I end up revising it more and more. And I don’t want the composition to be too obvious, so I try to change up the way the melody flows. With that kind of sharp image coming to you almost immediately, what were you imagining for that song? V: You might think “Snow Flower” is about a type of snowflake, but I was actually thinking about snow and flowers separately. I started hoping that flowers wouldn’t wither away and just keep on blooming on snowy days. But in reality, when it snowed, all the flowers were crushed, the world became blanketed in snow, and I felt like the flower buds turned into snow flowers. I wrote that song about how I felt after watching that happen.

It must be important to feel things intuitively when you’re trying to express yourself through song. V: If it sounds pretty to me: approved. (laughs)

On the other hand, as a member of BTS, you have a job where you have to deal with a packed schedule and keep various situations in mind. How does that make you feel? When you celebrated your Billboard Hot 100 win on V LIVE and the topic of your clothes came up, you joked that you wore them to give off an idol vibe. V: It’s fun. It’s fun, but I could also say it’s hard. The performances are fun. I think idols should shine in a way that’s suitable for their age, and it’s important to do lots of things for fans like ARMY. Not just performances, but also posting pictures, having conversations on social media, making content. We’re artists and idols, so we think each and every one of those things is important. That sentiment won’t change just because we’ve achieved so much success.

You recently held an impromptu event on Weverse for ARMY. V: I’m sure there’s lots of ARMY out there who are tired of not being able to see us in person. But since the only thing we can do for them is to be on stage and stuff, I was worried that we’re not doing enough for them. And I love being able to talk with ARMY so much that now it’s like a habit that I read their posts. I have a thing today. I have a test today. I’m moving today. Somehow I feel better when I hear their stories. When I end up reading things like about how ARMY are living or what kind of lives ARMY have, I can’t help but write a response, and because of that ARMY respond, so I try to become friendlier in a more fun way, too. I want us to be more than the Billboard number one Bangtanies—I want to be ARMY’s partner, their best friend, the friend who’s always by their side when we’re not on stage. It feels like business when I talk about communicating with ARMY. (laughs) I just want to talk with a close friend. I wanna talk with a close friend—that’s exactly how I feel. It’s been a long time since I could see my friend, ARMY. Usually when friends can’t see each other they keep in touch all the time. I can talk about all kinds of things like that with ARMY thanks to the Weverse platform, and because I can hear all about their lives, I think I was able to go on Weverse and hold that kind of event.

You’ve been talking about ARMY nonstop for a few minutes. I was going to ask you how you feel about ARMY, but I think you already answered the question. (laughs) V: They’re just, well, friends I would hate to lose. Friends who seriously give me strength whenever they’re around. Sometimes you find friends like that in life. It’s like that with the other members, and I have other friends who I can share my feelings with. And I have ARMY. So I can’t help but do whatever I can do to make those people smile and make them feel happy.

Well then, is there a song you’ve heard that you want to let ARMY know about? A song that shares your feelings. V: Umm, recently … “No. 1 Party Anthem” by Arctic Monkeys. When I hear that song … I get emotional, somehow. I don’t usually listen to a lot of rock music, but I can instantly feel the band’s emotions with that song. I seriously get goosebumps listening to it, and emotional, and just all kinds of feelings. It’s to the point that, as soon as I hear that song, I think about how I really want to live well.

That song really means a lot to you. V: Actually, I don’t really know what’s up with that song. I don’t even know the lyrics, but I’m quite clear on what sort of emotions the melody and the band’s performance give me.

Don’t you feel like that’s an emotion you want to express to people, as an artist? Like you don’t have to explain your messages in detail? V: I don’t know. I just want to exchange the good, and be the one to embrace the bad. So I have a desire to perfect one cool thing about myself.

So how close do you think you are right now to becoming an artist who has perfected something cool? V: I’ll say 2%. It’ll go up someday later. (laughs)

© source

[btsandvmin]

Ask: Reply - 2021.03.18

I don’t know what might be the best way to go about asks, but for now I’ll try to answer asks as they come and when I can/want to I’ll collect them together in a post instead of answering indivudually. I’ve seen other Vminie blogs with similar formats and have done a few collection posts like this before, and it really seems to be the easiest way to digest your questions.

Let’s go through what you’ve sent me today as I finally opened up this blog for asks again. :)

Topics:

Ask 1 - Vmin’s emotional connection vs ship moments Ask 2 - KTH1 and creative control Ask 3 - What makes a ship big? Ask 4 - Thoughts on Tae/kook’s relationship (+ edit on other post) Ask 5 - When did they first mention the dumpling fight? Ask 6 - A little about me and my big analysis Ask 7-9 - Thank yous and nice things

Thank you all for waiting. <3 Read more under the cut.

Ask 1 -  Vmin’s emotional connection vs ship moments

I agree with you. I might not look at other ships as focused as I do with Vmin, but I would guess no other ship comes close to how much Vmin have shown their emotional intimacy in many ways over the years. Not to mention how many times even BTS themselves point out Vmin’s bond as special. Not to mention to begin with we shouldn’t be insecure about their bond based on their interactions with others. We should judge Vmin based on how they interact with each other.

All members have skinship (though some more than others), but both Jimin and Tae are super comfortable with touching, sometimes even with strangers. Looking at moments you can ship all ships, and there are even those that believe their ship to be real for almost all ships in BTS at this point. Why? Well because if you focus on your ship and put emphasis on the moments between them as bigger or more important, you can find “proof” for anything. Because that’s just how close and shipworthy all of the dynamics in BTS are. They all love each other, and shippers can find their own preferred love amongst them. 

I think we also need to remember all the things Vmin has CONFIRMED that other shippers try to prove with their own ships. How is tae/kook hugging or ji/kook cuddling supposed to make me feel insecure about Vmin when they have that too AND call each other soulmates in a song that made one of their procucers cry and other things like Namjoon getting goosebumps thinking about their bond? Taehyung cried reading his letter to Jimin and Jimin said no other member would likely truly understand why he cried. Taehyung has called Jimin the warmest person he knows and his one and only best friend. AND AGAIN, SOULMATE. The years of material we have show us again and again how important they are to each other and how they grow and work hard together to make their bond even stronger.

Vminies, please appriciate what we have because we are spoiled.

Ask 2 - KTH1 and creative control

Honestly this is a difficult one. The thing is that we know that likely to some degree Big Hit will always be involved with what the boys do and release. But I also think their freedom to express themselves is better than most idol companies, and BTS whole brand is to be as genuine as possible. As for what Tae would be asked to tone down is hard to say exactly, but we do know that Yoongi and Namjoon (and other members) have been pretty dark and honest in their lyrics. I know from a Vmin perspective it could be something either LGBT+ or even directly Vmin related, but there isn’t enough to go on for me to make a good guess. We literally just know that he was told to tone it down. It doesn’t even have to be about the subjects or lyrics, even though that does seem the most likely. But we do know that Taehyung wants to release something that reflect him and that he can be proud of, so I am sure no matter what we get they will be his honest feelings. I am very excited and a bit scared thinking about Tae’s mixtape if I am being honest.

That being said, I think there could be lines that they should be careful not to cross. I think it’s possible with Taehyung’s personality who “doesn’t beat around the bush” that he might want to express more than what might be appropriate. Not just from Big Hit’s perspective but for his own sake. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying Tae is an idiot who doesn’t know what’s good for him. I just think at times he might be rebellious against his own better judement because it is something so important to him. For me talking about the Christmas song is partly such a moment, but I still think he was careful and ambiguous enough about it, even though he allowed himself to complain. Still, I am sure if it is about sexuality or even a relationship he knows the risks of being too open about it and would likely understand the need to be careful, or tone things down, if that was the case. A mixtape/album is not something done rashly or in the moment, so no matter what we get I am sure it will have been checked and considered by Tae and by Big Hit.

So basically I suppose the delay could be about creative control but mostly I really think it’s about Taehyung wanting to do well and writing when he feels like it without pressure. Which I feel is a very healthy approach by him honestly. We know mixtapes takes time and we know how Hobi felt about his first one, so I really think we should just give him time and I am sure we will get something amazing.

Ask 3 - What makes a ship big?

Aaaaaaw~! Thank you so much for your love and compliments. I feel like am very lacking in many areas still, but regardless I am glad my posts are appriciated. If I can bring a smile to anyones’ face that is an acomplishment to be proud of. Thank you. <3

As for what makes a ship big or not is of course quite subjective. For me at this point I would say ALL BTS ships are big ships. Not comparing them to each other but just by the huge amount of fans they all have. (I hope you don’t have to learn the pain or liking a rare-pair from a small fandom T-T). Almost all the ships in BTS even have analysis and people who believe in them, and I think that is partly an effect of size as well. That being said I think the bigger a ship is the easier it is for it to grow more. Which is why it is no surprise a lot of BTS ships that were popular right at the start are still the biggest ones now. But with more material and more fans there comes communities focused on their own ship, and they all grow as they get more moments. Vmin too have had a few times when they blow up for a while and gather new curious shippers. Friends is clearly a great example of this. Even Sweet Night seem to be something of a turning point for some to start shipping Vmin. All ships will grown in size with each passing year as we are always given new material. Even if a ship doesn’t get a lot, it will likely get enough to keep fans engaged.

For me I would say the loudest and the most agressive are often the biggest  (more bad apples the bigger the basket you know) and I think we can see some size indications by what ships trend more often etc. Ships can also be big in different ways and in different forums... Like how ji/kookers have taken tumblr as their platform while tae/kookers seem to be on youtube comments a lot.

All in all I don’t think size matters much though. Especially not with BTS where all ships get a lot of material and has their own fans who create for, share and dicuss about their pair. Popularity to me is not really something I think too much about, and honestly I think the way only the most popular pairs seem to get attention in the form of “worry” etc. is very telling. If JK and Hobi share a bed and cuddle and celebrate JK’s BD together, or Hobi post them having a picknick outside their house at night no one bats an eye... But if it was JK with one of Vmin? Confirmed to be dating and all other shippers get worried. 

Going into detail why ships gets big is a different conversation though. :P I hope I understood your ask correctly. Basically I consider all BTS ships as more or less big (perhaps with the exception of 2seok).

Ask 4 - Thoughts on Tae/kook’s relationship

So I got two Tae/kook asks today, seemingly because Tae/kook has had a lot of moments recently. I deleted the first one, but this one I feel is safe enough to share. I’ve talked about tae/kook before... (HERE for example) and I stand by that now too. I don’t have to dismiss other ships to feel confident about Vmin’s love for each other.

Tae/kook has always had a very physical and playful dynamic. Even when Tae changed and toned down this side of him we got moments where he played with JK or they hugged or cuddled close. I do see a little change now after ITS but mostly in that Tae seems to initiate more, not that it looks different in nature. I think when Tae changed his dynamic with JK lost a lot of it’s “main focus” as Tae wasn’t as playful. Look at JK with Jin as a comparison and I think JK in general is drawn to hang with people who are happy and fun to tease. 

Anyways, about their bond I do think tae/kook are close but as grown men they don’t have the same relationship that they used to when they were younger. They simply grew up and their dynamics changed. They haven’t had a lot of more serious conversations, but I think now that distance have become a little shorter after ITS. I think Tae/kook has a great bond that is underrated by many in the fandom but overrated greatly by their shippers. They clearly love each other and have fun with each other and can be very comfortable physically. 

But are they as close as Vmin? Personally I really doubt it. And even if Tae/kook would be real why should that have any impact on Vmin? Surely you wouldn’t think they are together but cheating or something drastic like that. I am also not sure why you would be particularly worried about tae/kook based on physical interactions alone though... I mean, both Hope/kook, Tae/jin, Ji/kook and Vmin also have a loooot of very intimate looking moments if you ask me.

You don’t have to worry about Vmin. If Tae has gushed about Jimin being special to him from 2013 to 2020 I don’t see why 2021 would be any different.

I also got a reply to this post where I mentioned the tae/kook ask I deleted. I must first say that it was my mistake to write JK’s lips and not his lip mole. I have edited the post to make clear he talked about the mole and not the lips.

Either way, thank you anon for giving perspective and adding your thoughts to the moments. Not to mention moments like this happen for all members and I don’t think we can draw any strong conclusions from them saying another members is sexy or something similar. But yeah, people pick and choose what they will remember, and often focusing on the negative will leave a bigger impact than the positive.

Ask 5 - When did they first mention the dumpling fight?

Hi and don’t worry. I honestly think a lot of Vminies don’t know about this because the first time was such a small moment not many would pay attention and remember it. We knew about it since 2016 where Tae offhandedly mentioned him and Jimin fighting about dumplings once.

I don’t even have the actual source for the first time Tae mentioned it, but it was all the way back in July 2016 in an interview with @star1 magazine, so we know it happened before that.

Then Tae got asked about it on a post it during a BST era fansign as well. Also, did you know the reason they fought was 💜?

Yeah.... Let’s just say I am not surprised at all to hear their dumpling fight having more meaning than first let on. As with most things brought up in the lyrics of Friends it’s something we already knew about since before. I also talked about this in my post Vmin analysis - “Friends”. (Though at that point we hadn’t heard them speak much about it and didn’t know how big of a deal it seemed to be.) It makes me wonder if the other things they talk about in the lyrics might also have more meaning than we know. 

Personally I think the reason we even got them talking about the dumpling incident so much is thanks to JK in the carpool karaoke. When asked what Vmin would fight about he was the one who mentioned dumplings and likely brought more attention to it than if it would simply have remained as one of the many lyrical anecdotes in the song. I am glad we got to know more, because honestly the dumpling incident seems to have been a pivotal moment in Vmin’s relationship.

Ask 6 - A little about me and my big analysis

Hi and thank you so much for the lovely compliments. Trying to consider all kinds of possibilities I feel should be obvious if you truly want to analyse something, but sadly I think when it comes to observing real people and being invested emotionally that becomes really difficult. Me too have to hold myself back a lot, because in the end there is always going to be room for error. And if I am wrong, who will be hurt? Likely all of you who listen to me and take my words into consideration. So I rather be upfront about the risk of being wrong than to speak too confidently and accidentally ending up misleading someone. I am really so happy and proud over Vminies who can stand back and not become delusional despite everything we actually have (this includes myself, because it’s not always easy to not get caught up in theories).

As for who I am it’s of course ok to ask. I am from Sweden and is 30 years old. (English isn’t my native language so I hope you forgive my mistakes, I know I have a lot of them in my posts). I’ve been a BTS fan since 2016 and Vmin fan almost since the start. I have been a fan of other groups long before BTS too and was pretty deep into the Japanese idol culture before fell for K-pop. For some additional info I also work with marketing and project managing and have a degree in conflict resolution. Thanks for being curious about me. :)

About my big analysis I am working on it still, and of course I hope to post it as soon as I can. I am a bit hesistant in bringing attention to some things though, as I have seen some of my previous theories and speculations be regarded as fact. I don’t want Vminies to run with my interpretations in a way that make them confident in Vmin being real. So yeah, I do want to post it, but I am also a bit worried what reactions it might get. I try very hard to remind you all that my theories are only speculations and we won’t know anything for sure (unless it would be confirmed). It still isn’t finished yet though, but I’ll keep working hard.

Ask 7 -  Thank you for the fic rec

Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed it. I haven’t had too much time to catch up on reading and just added a lot from my bookmarks, but good thing it was so appriciated by you all. Vmin writers truly are amazing aren’t they? :) 

(And don’t worry about me getting bad asks. I think I would have quit a long time ago if I let them bother me too much.)

Ask 8 - Just a very sweet anon

Thank you! I’m ok. Not great, but ok. Life goes on, you know? But I feel like I finally have the energy to blog again, and honestly that feels pretty great. It feels like I’ve been gone forever, but I hope you will still enjoy my musings and thoughts as you send me questions and I write new posts. :3

Ask 9 - The whole world is different from yesterday~ Just with your joy~

Omg what a sweet thing to say, thank you so much, you are putting a big smile on my face right now. I am glad you enjoy and understand my thoughts so much. I know many of you have missed my thoughts and even asked me when I would open my asks again, and so much always happen with Vmin too... (There is literally enough material to write books about them.) Thank you for waiting and being so understanding. I am happy to be back too. <3

Thank you everyone for you asks and I hope you liked this new format. :) I’ll try to keep it up and if you have any thoughts and opinions feel free to share them.

[justcallmenikki7]

BTS Reaction To: Drunk Mafia BTS

Summary: your mafia boyfriend gets drunk and shows a different side to them.

Warnings: hurt/comfort, angst, crack, alcohol consumption, mean!Namjoon, crying!Jungkook, mentions of sexual undertones, cute but annoying drunk Hoseok, mafia!au (but not really mentioned mafia), emotional Yoongi who needs readers love and reassurance, cute Jimin.

W.C.: 2.4k

Request: hi!! can you do a drunk bts mafia reaction?

Notes: Like I’ve said before, I love Mafia requests.

Jin:

You knew that you should not have left Jin alone with his brothers for thirty minutes.

You knew that leaving his side so you can go and talk to Jisoo about girl stuff, leaving Jin unattended with his brothers, especially the maknae when there is alcohol involved was a no-go. But you did it anyways, so now you are here – dealing with a flirty Jin who has one too many drinks in his system.

“You’re so pretty,” Seokjin cooed, body weight leaning into yours as you walked him to the car. “But!” He announced loudly, shocking you. “I haves a girlfriend, ACTUALLY! A fiancée. So, my compliments need to stop. I-It’s just that you look so much like her, that it is uncanny.” He rambled. “You even have the same, comfy, soft boobs! Are you her doppelganger?” Seokjin asked with a curious voice – a voice that does not suit his mafia boss persona.

Laughing at his question, “No, Jinnie, I’m Y/N. The actual her.” Mouth dropping wide in astonishment, “No way! Baby!” He yelled, flying into you, sending the both of you to the ground. But even in his drunken state, his reflexes still worked, and he turned you guys around to where he took the beating of the ground while you fell onto his chest. “Ooo, I like this position,” he said cheekily, smiling up at you.

“Of course, you do, you drunk.” You chuckled, “Now, get up. We need to get your drunk ass home.”

Yoongi:

The sound of breaking glass was what caught your attention from the book you were reading. Closing the book, you put it aside to see if the sound would repeat again, which it did. The breaking glass was coming from above you, which is where your boyfriend’s office was. Standing up, you quietly, but quickly, made your way up the stairs, slowly hearing the curses and angry words coming from your boyfriends’ mouth. Once you got to the office door, you quietly knocked on the door, silencing all of the commotion on the other side of the door.

The door opened, showing the distressed man in front of you. Trying to hide his tears, he turned around and made his way over to his desk, silently telling you that you can come in.

“Yoongi, what’s wrong?” You asked softly, walking up behind him, putting a few feet between you guys.

“Nothing. Why do you ask?” He replied, being short with you.

Spotting the bottle of whisky on his desk, you connected the dots that he is stressed since whisky is his escape drink.

“Well,” you started off, “There’s broken glass on the floor from you throwing it, whisky on the desk, and you’re obviously crying. So, something is wrong.”

“Wow, why would you ask me since you apparently know what’s going on.” He snapped, turning around to look at you, eyes blank.

Taking a few steps back, you coiled in on yourself by his harshness. Realizing that he wants you to leave him alone, you respected his wishes. “I’ll leave you alone then. I just wanted to check up on you.” You bowed, turning around and leaving.

Before you could walk out the door, you felt a soft grip on your arm, pulling you back.

“Please don’t leave.” Yoongi asked, voice raspy. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”

Not saying anything, you pulled your boyfriend into a hug. Your actions caused your boyfriend to breakdown, shocking you at the sight. The most dangerous man in the underworld, the one who scares the law itself, was falling apart in your arms for a reason you do not know.

Hoseok:

“And a BOOP!”

Trying to stay calm, you watched the finger – for the twentieth time – come in contact with your nose. Your eyebrow twitched from irritation. Surprisingly you were keeping your composure really well. You were not blowing up on your boyfriend yet.

But the thing that you do not get is how the man who can kill a person with a smile on his face, not even flinching, can act so childish and love messing with your nose whenever he is drunk.

It is like trying to figure out how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll.

“Your nose is so cute!” Hoseok squealed, face moving close to you, breaking your personal bubble boundary, “It has a little arch to it!” He added, a squeal evident in his tone.

That was a new one, you concluded.

“Can I run my finger over your nose?” He asked, voice innocent.

Releasing a sigh, a sigh that seemed to be very offensive that Hoseok took to heart. “Are you mad at me?” He sniffled, looking away to hide his face.

“No, Hobi.” You reassured softly, “I’m just getting a little irritated, but I am not mad at you, I promise.”

Sniffles growing louder, you realized that you messed up.

“I’M ANNOYING YOU?!”

Fuck.

Before you could say anything else, your body was met with the couch while your boyfriends body was thrown on top of yours. ‘I’m sorries’ were spewing out of his mouth rapidly, body shaking from the sobs racking over his body.

“Yes! You can run your finger over my nose.” You said, hoping it will calm him down.

As if a light switch was turned off, your boyfriend immediately stopped crying, a huge smile gracing his face. “Yay! Thank you!” His finger running over your nose, face morphed into a concentrated look.

Namjoon:

When you walked into your home, your sense of smell was met with alcohol – mainly whiskey and cigars.

“Oh no,” you whispered to yourself, preparing yourself for what was possibly going to happen.

Namjoon is drunk by now, and this only happens when he is overly stressed, or in need of an outlet for his anger. So, a drunk Namjoon equals an angry drunk Namjoon. You have only seen this side of him just once, and it was not pretty.

You did not speak to Namjoon for a week because of it.

He promised you he would not seek comfort from alcohol ever again – but he broke his promise.

Walking into the living room, you found your boyfriend sitting in the single sofa chair, the top three buttons of his dress shirt undone, showing the caramel skin of his chest. But his beautiful sight was ruined when you saw the whiskey bottle sitting on the side table with the cigar on the ash tray, and a glass of whiskey in his ring clad hand.

“I am surprised you have not started yelling yet,” Namjoon mocked, interrupting your train of thought. “Last time I drank, you freaked out on me.”

Taken aback by his words, “I didn’t freak out on you? Plus, I am not going to now. I am curious on why you are drinking, whiskey especially.”

“Oh, so am I not allowed to drink certain alcoholic drinks?” He asked, sarcasm and mockery laced in his words. “Wow, you’re more controlling than I thought.”

You could feel your heart break at his words, eyes stinging from the tears that are wanting to spill. “Wow. Um, okay.” You said, not knowing what words to use. You were beating yourself up mentally from how weak you are and your inability to stand up for yourself. So, choosing the cowardly way out, you turned around and made your way to the guess room that was in your house, locking the door and hiding yourself in there.

Jimin:

Sitting at the booth in the bar, you listened to your best friend Yoonji vent about her and Namjoon’s relationship.

Tonight, was club night with the boys.

Having a boyfriend who is a mafia boss that owns his own private club was awesome, especially during parties. Not having to pay and wait in line was awesome, drinks and food was free, and the best of all – sitting in the VIP section away from the drunk people.

“I just wish that he would make more time for me,” Yoonji stressed, eyes tearing up. “I feel so alone sometimes…” She trailed off, taking a gulp from his glass.

A frown was on your face, watching your friend cry was one of the worst things ever. Before you could add your opinion in, you felt a body that was all too familiar fall on top of you. A pair of lips attached theirs to yours, shocking you from the abruptness.

“My Love!” Your boyfriend announced, a drunken grin of his face, cheeks tinted red from the alcohol he has been drinking. “I have missed you so MUCH!” He stated, lips now turned downwards.

“I’ve missed you too, Jiminie.” You replied back, honesty laced in your words. “But, I’m talking with Yoonji here,” you motioned towards your friend, your boyfriends head whipping around quickly to look at her.

“Ooops! I’m sorry Yoonji!” He apologized truthfully, head turning back towards you. “Is it okay if I lay my head on your lap while you talk with Yoonji? My head hurts, and I PROMISE! I won’t speak of anything that you guys say to Namjoon!” He promised, sticking his pinky in the air towards you.

“Wait, what?” Yoonji asked in shock. “How do you know we are talking about Namjoon?”

“Cause silly! You just admitted to it,” Jimin giggled, already making himself comfortable on your lap. “Plus, the both of you came in upset, so it’s kinda obvious that you two are arguing.”

And that was the last thing your boyfriend said before he was lulled into a deep sleep.

Looking up at Yoonji, you gave her an apologetic smile. “Jimin’s extra blunt when he’s drunk?”

Taehyung:

As you conversed with your boyfriend’s gang members girlfriends, you could feel the heavy stare on your back from your boyfriend. You knew that you looked hot – thanks to the constant compliments and love that your boyfriend gives you everyday has helped with your self love. Wearing a sexy, but appropriate dress to the ball that was thrown by an ally mafia gang was a good idea because it was messing with your boyfriend. You knew the little things that riled up your boyfriend of three years – and this dress was one of them; especially when he had alcohol in his system.

“Um, Y/N?” Madison, Jungkook’s girlfriend of seven months spoke, catching your attention.  

“Hm?”

“Taehyung is I think glaring at you,” She said nervously.

Smiling at her innocence, “Oh, is he?” You asked, turning around to look at your boyfriend who just finished downing his glass of wine. When the two of you made eye contact you gave him a gentle smile and he winked at you. You could see that he has had a lot to drink due to the flush of his cheek and aura that he was giving off.

“He literally has been undressing you with his eyes all night.” Suri commented, bringing a blush to your cheeks from her bluntness.

“And you are right,” Taehyung admitted, surprising you from his sudden appearance. His strong arms wrapped around you, pulling you into his chest, head ducking down to nuzzle into your neck. His breath smelt like alcohol and cigarettes as he pressed kisses to you neck. “You’ve looked so beautiful all night that I got turned on.”

“You’ve smoked a cigarette?!” You yelled, shocking the girls and Taehyung.

“What? No, baby—”

“Do not ‘baby’ me,” your voice came out deadly. “You told me you quit!” You accused, glaring at your boyfriend who looked scare, something that you will later laugh at since he is the biggest mafia boss in the world.

“I did. I just had two with Jackson and Namjoon!”

Not wanting to make a bigger scene, you walked away with a nervous and apologetic Taehyung.

“He’s totally not getting anything tonight,” Suri chuckled into his cup of wine.

“$20 he is,” Jisoo, Jimin’s friend had bet.

“You’re so on.”

Jungkook:

“Ugh, another fucking voicemail,” Jungkook grumbled drunkenly. “Y/N, this is my hundredth voicemail, when will you answer? Please answer. I’m sorry that I snapped and scared you. I know that I acted out irrationally during the argument. You’re right, I am childish and short tempered, but that doesn’t give me the excuse to say what I said and act how I acted. Wait? Did I say that right? hopefully because I want to make this right with you. I love you, Y/N, and I know that I have a suckish way of showing it, but I do. You’re the light in the darkness that I live in. never would I have thought of meeting you, meeting love in this Mafia world. I just want, need, you back, baby. Please come back to me,” Jungkook stopped, the sobs taking over him. The scary realization of losing you might be coming true. “Please give me one more chance to make this right.”

And with that, he hung up.

On the other side of the city, you listened to the voicemail that Jungkook had sent to you, tears streaming down your face and blurring your vision, your mind already being made up. Putting on a bra and shoes, you grabbed your purse and made your way to Jungkook’s mansion. When you pulled up, you were met with Phil and Leo at the gate. The two guards gave you smile, relief filling their eyes.

Walking into the mansion, you were met with a disastrous living room that had glass and frames on the carpet. A sigh escaped your lips as you realized that you had of fixing up to do.

“I am this drunk that I am imagining you standing right in front of me?” Jungkook asked, scaring your soul out of your body it felt like.

“It’s actually me, Kook.” You giggled, eyes tearing up at the relieved look in Jungkook’s eyes.

One minute his was on the stairs and the next he was squeezing you into his chest.

“You’re back,” he croaked. “Thank God, you’re back to me.”

[sevenseasofbangtan]

BTS REACTION — HOW YOU MET (IDOL VERSION)

Summary: Idol!BTS meet Foreigner!Reader

Warnings: None, except maybe light cursing, reference to a car crash and mentions of alcohol being consumed.

Note: In these scenarios, all members are fluent in English (or they can at least hold a good conversation). I tried to keep all the scenarios gender-neutral, although I had a specific vision in mind for Hoseok’s and Jungkook’s one, which involved a girl. If anyone wants me to write new scenarios or to rewrite these ones in a gender-neutral form, feel free to let me know.

KIM SEOKJIN (JIN)

It was a rainy day and clouds were filling the sky, hiding any trace of sunlight. As you walked through the streets of Seoul with your friend, an umbrella in one hand, you listed different possible activities you could spend your free time on. You both had just arrived in Seoul and although you hadn’t seen much yet, you had already fallen in love with South Korea’s capital.

Seokjin had a few days off from promotion, glad to get a short break from his hectic schedule. Even though he loved his job to no end, he sometimes needed some time off to himself, so he could go back to work feeling more inspired and relaxed than ever.

He had recently opened a restaurant with his brother and had decided to go lend a hand to the staff, seeing as someone couldn’t make it to work that day. He knew this was far from the stress-free day he had envisioned for himself, but there were two reasons why he felt compelled to head to the restaurant as soon as he woke up that morning, the first one being that he was one of the directors of said restaurant and that it only seemed natural that he visited and helped around from time to time, the second being that he was a generally very caring being and that refusing the request would simply be choosing to go against his core values.

Both your friend and yourself hadn’t yet thought of an appropriate way to keep yourselves occupied, but all you knew was that you were beginning to get quite hungry, your stomach grumbling every once in a while. You didn’t want to disrupt the course of your friend’s thoughts, but you thought it might be relevant to bring up the idea of stopping by a small restaurant to take a bite. As soon as you voiced your suggestion, her face lit up, and with a mysterious and excited tone, she declared, “Oh, I know a place where we could eat!” You agreed with a shrug, thinking to yourself that any restaurant would do at this point.

You walked in the streets for a good twenty minutes before finally reaching your destination, your friend becoming more and more excited with each step, but categorically refusing to tell you why. You entered the friendly-looking restaurant, analyzing your surroundings. On the outside, it looked as any other Japanese-style restaurant, but the inside was harmoniously decorated, suggesting the owner had great taste in accessorizing and inside decoration. A few plants were randomly displayed throughout the restaurant and the wooden touches gave a warm feeling, in contrast with the overall modern style of the building.

As you sat down to your assigned table and began flipping through the pages of the menu, after having spent a good half-hour waiting in line and complaining to (y/f/n), she called out your name and finally decided to tell you what had been on her mind ever since she came up with the idea of stopping by this particular restaurant: “You know about BTS, right?” “Of course! Who doesn’t?” “Well this place just happens to be owned by Jin and his brother!” You chuckled and commented, “Well now I get why you were so excited all of a sudden and why we had to waste thirty minutes of our precious time waiting in line! It’s certainly what’s causing all the hype surrounding this restaurant... This food better be worth the wait though!”

After having spent an overall total of forty five minutes waiting, the food finally came. You furrowed your brows in confusion as you heard several people gasping in unison when the waiter arrived with the numerous plates of meat, vegetables and other side dishes you would be sharing with your friend. As you looked up, you nearly choked on the water in the glass you were drinking from, quickly identifying your waiter as Kim Seokjin, Jin from BTS himself.

Seokjin had finally decided to step out of the kitchen, unable to stand the heat of the crowded area anymore, and as he saw two physically distinct woman sitting at a table, he specifically requested to attend to that table, intrigued and interested in the unusual situation.

In an attempt to make a nice first impression and as to project a good image of his restaurant, he formally introduced himself, trying to remember all that Namjoon and his English teachers had taught him about the English language over the years: “Hello! Welcome to Ossu Seiromushi! My name is Seokjin and I will be your waiter for today. Is this your first time here?” “Yeah,” the both of you answered at the exact same time. He quickly exclaimed, “Oh this is great! I hope that you will enjoy our food and that you will want to come back here next time!”

As your meal went on, Seokjin periodically came back to check on you, way more often than a usual waiter would, trying to hold some sort of conversation as much as possible given the fact that some fans occasionally interrupted the discussion to interact with their idol, and you had to admit that despite the situation, you enjoyed yourself quite a lot and already planned on visiting again soon, as suggested by Seokjin himself. You also had to admit the food lived up to your expectations, much to friend and your waiter’s delight.

When it was finally time to leave and to carry on with your day, it was with a heavy heart that you left the cozy building filled with delicious smells, knowing you might not be met by your friendly waiter the next time you stopped by in the future.

As you left the restaurant and as he headed back to the kitchen, Seokjin made sure to inform his brother about his lovely encounter and to make sure he kept an eye out for the two charming foreigners next time they came back.

MIN YOONGI (SUGA)

After having spent almost a year without seeing his family, Yoongi was finally returning to Daegu, having a brief pause in his busy schedule. As soon as he entered the familiar building that used to be his own house, he was greeted by Geumjae, his older brother, who had come over for the night knowing his younger brother was visiting, his dog, Holly, and the scent of his favourite dish, that his mom had so kindly decided to cook. Memories began flooding his mind and he couldn’t help but feel nostalgic about his past life, before he even though of becoming an idol. He was glad to have a break, even if it was only for a few days, so he could remember what being normal feels like, although he knew deep down he would never be seen as a ‘normal’ person anymore, even in his hometown. In fact, he was almost an heroic figure there, seeing as it almost seemed like a miracle that a young man from this small neighbourhood had succeeded in the international music stage.

You had arrived a while ago in Korea, settling down in a small apartment in Seoul. However, your desire of seeking new challenges and to explore the unknown led you to smaller cities, including your current location: Daegu. You had rented a hotel room nearby for a few days and had instantly fallen in love with the more modest buildings of the residential neighbourhoods and the flora of your surroundings, even though this town technically wasn’t half as impressive as South Korea’s biggest city, Seoul.

You had decided to go out and explore the city once the sun began to set, so the streets would be nearly empty and you’d be completely immersed into the peaceful atmosphere of the area. You aimlessly wandered around the town, stopping in a quiet park to sit down on the grass, staring at the sky.

Yoongi had dragged his brother out with him, still feeling the nostalgia from his childhood. He knew the only time he could come out of his house without getting noticed by locals was in the late evening, so he waited until it was pitch black outside to leave the familial residence. As soon as he stepped out, the light breeze surrounded him and the sound of silence rang in his ears, making him feel at home again. He carried a conversation with his older brother while walking on the sidewalk, the only lighting being provided by the small shops on the other side of the street, the lampposts lined along the sidewalk and the thousands of stars in the sky. Soon enough, the both of them reached the park where they had shared so much memories back when they were still children.

You got up from your spot on the fresh grass, beginning to walk again. At this point, you had to admit you were a little lost, after having mindlessly walked through the city for an hour or so. The once warm temperature had decreased, leaving you shivering through the thin fabric of your shirt and your partly exposed legs, and you could barely see where you were going as the sun had completely set.

You were so absorbed in trying to find your way back, that you had completely ignored your surroundings. You suddenly heard some noise directly coming from behind you, yelling in surprise. Your screams were answered by those of two manly voices. You looked up, meeting the eyes of two young men, seeming as surprised as you did. You quickly apologized, embarrassed from causing such a scene, but the boys assured you there was no harm done and you shouldn’t worry about such a thing.

Soon enough, you initiated a conversation with the two men you found out turned out being brothers. The oldest was named Geumjae, while the youngest, who seemed to be relatively close to your age, was named Yoongi, a name that sounded oddly familiar to your ears. Having nothing better to do, you sat back down in the grass, carrying on with your discussion. It was definitely close from midnight, but it didn’t seem to bother any of you. The boys were intrigued about what had brought you to their city in particular, seeing as you weren’t from the area, so you shared your story without neglecting a single detail, as the boys sitting in front of you questioned you from time to time, seemingly interested in your adventures.

After spending so much time outside, you could barely feel your arms anymore, your body not being able to keep you warm for much longer. You kept shivering and Yoongi soon noticed, offering you his hoodie, as the well-mannered man he was. After having made sure he didn’t mind, you gladly accepted his offer, the soft fabric warming up your skin at the very first contact.

Yoongi finally asked you where you were staying and as you answered, his brows knit in confusion. “But that’s at the other end of town... How long have you been walking?” he asked, staring at you. You shrugged, having lost track of time. “You’re really going to walk all the way back there?” he questioned you, seeming perplexed. You finally admitted being absolutely lost. At your confession, Yoongi suggested he and his brother gave you a ride back to your hotel. You felt terribly embarrassed at the thought of having to burden the kind strangers with your own issue, especially at such a late time in the evening, but you were also very tired and definitely couldn’t make it back to the hotel by yourself, so you gladly agreed, endlessly thanking the two brothers for their kindness.

About twenty minutes later, Yoongi dropped you off to the address you had given him. Before you left, he stopped you and stated, “You should keep my phone number as well as my brother’s in your phone. You never know what could happen and since you’re far from home, this might be useful. Don’t hesitate to let me know if you need anything. I might not always be available, but it might be worth the try anyway in case there’s a problem.”

With one last ‘thank you’, you exchanged your goodbyes and wished each other a great night, hoping you might get the opportunity to meet each other again in the near future.

JUNG HOSEOK (J-HOPE)

You had moved to Korea a few months ago to begin a student exchange program in university and you were definitely enjoying the new culture, as well as the new people you had met.

You did not expect to meet so many friendly individuals you had so much in common with and you had definitely become a more sociable person over the course of the past few weeks, much to your surprise.

You had met Dawon through mutual friends at a party and you were surprised at how well you both got along almost immediately. She was very warm and welcoming and her English was definitely above average, which made it easy to communicate, though you were also improving in Korean. You knew nearly from the start that she was Hoseok’s sister, but you never truly brought it up, well aware that she must hear about him and be compared to him more than enough as it is and there is no need to make matters worse.

Dawon’s parents were soon hosting a big gathering over at their house and Dawon had decided to invite her closer friends over, as well as her fiancé, since they were already expecting a large number of guests, and you felt incredibly blessed and honoured that she considered you as one of said close friends.

On the night of the house party, Dawon had texted you, claiming that one of the friends she had invited could not make it and that you were free to invite someone else to bring along. However, by the time you noticed her message, you were almost ready to leave and didn’t bother trying to reach anyone else.

Dawon, who was living in her own apartment, came to pick you up a bit early, as she had promised her parents to help set up the decoration and cook the different meals that would be served that night. As you got in the car, you noticed she was on the phone with someone and definitely seemed displeased: “What do you mean you’re not coming? I told you not to plan anything too time-consuming today so you’d be ready for the party! I already told my mom you three were coming! On top of that, Ga Young is sick and won’t be able to make it either...” The voice on the other side of the line replied, “I know, I’m truly sorry but I can’t make the cars in front of me go faster. I’ll do as best as I can, but don’t assume anything. If we can’t make it, have a great night and I’ll talk to you later!” Before Dawon could add anything, the other person you had recognized as Eun Hye hung up.

Dawon turned to you and said, “Sorry about that, I don’t want to ruin the mood or anything, but Eun Hye just called to tell me she, Soo Ah and Ye Rin got stuck in the traffic on their way back from I don’t know where, when I clearly told them not to plan anything today so they could come to the party and I already told my mom they were coming, but they’ll most likely not make it. Now you’re going to be the only friend of mine to come over...” She kept ranting, so you reassured her, “Hey it’s okay. It’s definitely not your fault and I don’t mind staying with you and your fiancé all night. I don’t think your mom will mind having a few less people to cater to tonight either...” “Thanks (y/n), you’re way too kind,” she answered. You smiled back at her and loudly declared, “Now let’s go get your fiancé so we can make it to the party on time!”

You soon left the city and reached the nice suburbs of Gwangju, where you were greeted by Dawon’s parents who excitedly welcomed all of you, glad to see their daughter and her lovely fiancé, and intrigued by the foreigner they both had brought along. You were scared of their reactions to your obvious cultural difference, but you were pleasantly surprised by the fact that they were very kind and interested in knowing about you.

Dawon dragged you inside, where you were met by a very familiar face, which left you speechless as Dawon exclaimed, “What are you doing here? Weren’t you on tour?” He frowned in confusion, replying, “What are you talking about? I told you I was coming back on the 5th.” “Oh I thought I had heard the 15th, my bad,” Dawon stated, chuckling. She then ran to hug her brother tightly. They were definitely a close pair. “Hoseok, this is my friend (y/n). You better be nice to her because all our other friends ditched us for the night and she doesn’t know anyone here but myself and my fiancé. By the way, just saying ... she’s single,” Dawon introduced you to her sibling with a playful tone. She then turned to you, saying, “(y/n) you probably already know my brother, but nonetheless, this is Hoseok.” You bowed to her brother and he did the same, the both of you smiling a bit awkwardly at Dawon’s introductions.

You all went on to assist their parents before the guests began arriving. Throughout the night, the four of you stayed together in a peaceful corner of the backyard, as Dawon stated she “would rather avoid the intrusive aunts and uncles constantly asking her about her private life”, to which Hoseok agreed.

You all discussed your latest stories and experiences, often having a good laugh at each other’s expense. The wine and soju you had all drunk surely helped loosening everyone up and making everything sound funnier than it really should be. Hoseok was very sweet, charismatic and down to earth, and it might’ve been the alcohol speaking, but you couldn’t help thinking to yourself that he definitely was very attractive. You thought it had been easy becoming friends with Dawon, but befriending Hoseok had proven being even easier. There was something about him that was so strongly compelling.

As the party came to an end and Dawon’s fiancé drove you all back to her place, she poked your shoulder, still a bit tipsy, commenting, “You know ... My brother really seemed to like you.” You turned to her and told her to stop saying such nonsense, but she continued: “N—No I’m not even kidding! Haven’t you noticed how he kept staring at you ever since you stepped foot in the house, how he laughed a bit more at your jokes than anyone else’s—“ “That’s because my jokes are funnier than yours and he knows that. And he was staring at me because I’m obviously very different from all of you guys,” you interrupted her. “Shhh — don’t interrupt me. He always filled your wine glass first and he kept leaning towards you. I know my brother, I know he’s not like that with just anyone,” she finished. You rolled your eyes and replied, “Dawon, I think you’re tired, just go to sleep and I’ll wake you up once we get to your apartment.”

She ignored your comment and before you could even react, she reached for your phone and unlocked it, already knowing your password by heart, and typed something in. She gave you your phone back and declared, “Here’s his number, since you seemed to be just as interested as he was.” You did not dare say anything, as you knew Dawon would not take any argument if you tried to prove her wrong. Were you being this obvious? As if she read your mind, she carried on, “You were way too smiley and giggly for your usual self, even when drinking. You should give him a chance, he can be a pretty nice guy sometimes even if he often purposely annoys the hell out of me. Anyway, when’s the last time you’ve been on a date?” “Hey don’t be so mean! I’m waiting for the right person, alright?” you affirmed in a jokingly offended tone. She laughed and claimed, “Well that right person might be my brother, who knows...”

Maybe Dawon was right, maybe you should give her brother a chance after all.

KIM NAMJOON (RM)

It was nearly midnight as you stared at the digital clock resting on your nightstand. After almost having spent a full hour tossing and turning in bed, you decided you had had enough and threw the blankets off your body, sitting up in the process. It had only been two days since you arrived in Seoul and you still hadn’t quite adjusted to the jet lag yet.

You threw on some very casual clothes and headed out the door, thinking some fresh air would do you good and maybe even help you fall asleep. You loved the fact that a lot of shops were open until very late, as you enjoyed the calm of the night. You abandoned the busy streets of Seoul’s most popular districts and soon reached the much more peaceful atmosphere of a mostly residential neighbourhood, taking advantage of the quietness that surrounded you. You had seen more than enough crowded places in the last two days and desperately needed a break from the obnoxiousness of the most famous landmarks.

You eventually spotted a small café on the other side of the road that seemed quite nice. As you entered the building, you were hit by the strong but pleasant smell of freshly ground coffee as well as the emptiness of the place, though that did not surprise you, considering that it was getting late.

You went through the list of possible selections on the wall behind the order counter and eventually settled for something simple as to not excite your brain more than it already was.

You stepped forward, greeted the lady in front of you and placed your order. As you were speaking you could clearly read on the woman’s face that she did not grasp a single word of what you were saying.

Although you had learnt some of the basics of the Korean language prior to your trip and that you were still studying the language to this day, you did not consider your skills good enough to have this kind of discussion, especially not at this time of the day, when your brain could barely function normally. Ever since the beginning of your trip, you had managed to avoid speaking Korean to anyone, as there was always at least one person available who could speak in English. However, as you looked around, you soon realized that it was only you and the barista, and that you had no choice but to find a way to communicate with her.

As you were reaching through your pockets to grab your phone in order to write down what you wanted to say on a translation app, you heard a manly voice behind you, making you jump slightly, “Excuse me, do you need help?” You turned around and had to do a double take. There was no way this man standing behind you could be Kim Namjoon, or was there? You decided to keep quiet and not bring this question up just yet. After having frozen for a few seconds while you processed your thoughts, you finally answered, “Ummm, actually, yes I do. I’d like to order something, but the employee only speaks Korean and I don’t master the language enough to hold this conversation.” He smiled sweetly and nodded, questioning you about your order.

Once you told him everything there was to know, he stepped forward and began discussing with the barista, who also seemed shocked by the man’s presence, ordering for the both of you.

“How much was it?” you immediately asked as he finished ordering and paying. He looked at you and smiled once again, declaring, “It’s free. I’m paying for you. Take it as a gift.” You quickly shook your head, arguing, “Oh no, I can’t accept that! You had to go through the trouble of ordering for both yourself and myself. If anything, I should be the one paying for the both of us.” He chuckled and replied, “This is non-negotiable. No matter what you say, I won’t change my answer. If you really want to make it up to me, why don’t you just keep me company while I drink my coffee? I’d sure love to chat if you want to. Get my mind off things, forget about my stressful day, you know?” “As long as you don’t have bad intentions, I’ll gladly accept this offer,” you playfully said, making him laugh.

You both found a clean table at the back of the room and sat down with your orders, chatting about anything and everything. At one point, you couldn’t help but ask him: “Is there a possibility that I’ve seen you somewhere before?” “There is, actually. My name is Kim Namjoon—“ “From BTS, right?” He nodded, as you continued, “Wow, I just want to say that I really enjoy listening to your music and that all of you guys are amazing artists!” He smiled shyly at your compliment, still not used to receiving such positive feedback from anyone, even after all this time, and then thanked you for your kind words.

As you had both finished your drinks and as you started to feel sleepiness weighing heavy on your shoulders, you decided to call it a night and head back to where you came from. However, right before leaving, Namjoon stopped you, cleared his throat and said, “Hey, um. I could give you my number, you know... just in case you ever need anything, or if you ever wanna chat again.” You nodded, answering, “Yeah, that would be nice...” And so you both exchanged your phone numbers before leaving.

As he watched you exit in front of him, Namjoon had a feeling he would be dialling that number soon enough.

PARK JIMIN (JIMIN)

You had just landed in Seoul no more than two hours ago, accompanied by your close friend. As soon as the luggage pickup and the customs were out of the way, the two of you headed off to retrieve your rented car from the car rental company located right outside of the airport, at a three minutes distance in the shuttle bus.

After nearly waiting for an hour in line, the both of you trading places between standing in line and a nearby seat every ten minutes, you were finally done signing the contract papers and had finally gotten a hold of the car keys that would belong to you for the next month.

A kind employee directed you towards the right car and then helped you pack your luggage into its trunk and backseat as necessary, before leaving the both of you by yourselves with this unfamiliar vehicle. You settled yourself in the driver’s seat, in common agreement with your friend, and began discovering and adjusting to its features.

It had been a long time since you both had last gotten any sleep and the darkness settling outside did not help at all. As you drove out of the car rental garage, you immediately noticed the heavy rain pouring from the evening sky, sighing deeply. Then, you were hit with the sight of the immensely dense trafic of the very populated city of Seoul, groaning in annoyance. Nothing seemed to be in your favour at this instant and you were quickly regretting your decision of taking the wheel in these conditions.

You had slowly gotten adjusted to driving and were slowly making your way towards the hotel where you had booked a room for the next few days in order to finally get some rest.

You reached an extremely crowded intersection and tried to pay attention to all of the surrounding cars as you turned around the street corner. However, you forgot to switch your focus back towards the front of your car quickly enough and suddenly —

BANG

Your car suddenly hit the one right in front of yours, making you and your friend scream in shock at the unexpected impact.

BTS were on their way back to their shared dorms after having performed on a music show. All of them were exhausted as it was getting late and they had been up since the early hours of the morning. As they sat at the back of the van, some fell asleep, some stared at the window and some kept chatting despite their low energy level. A sudden impact startled the passengers of the van as the driver let out a string of curses under his breath. Thankfully, the collision was not strong enough to cause any significant harm to anyone, but they definitely knew that the car would not be left intact.

You sighed, hiding your face behind your hands before brushing your hair back in despair. This was definitely not the most ideal way to start off your vacation and you were surely not planning on spending an important sum of money in car repair for a vehicle you had just gotten not even an hour ago as well as paying for the damage occasioned to the other driver’s car.

As you got out of the car and noticed the consequences, you couldn’t help the “Oh crap” that escaped your mouth. Soon after, the other driver also came out to inspect the damages. After eyeing the back of the van for a good fifteen seconds, he turned around to face you, angrily muttering in Korean, as you stood still, staring at him in confusion. Noticing you did not understand a word of what he was saying, he resolved in going back to the van to request an English speaking person as to discuss the incident with the foreigners who had bumped into their vehicle.

You had no idea what was going on and why the driver left you standing there without any explanation. Soon, you found yourself crying from anticipation, feeling a wave of panic overtake you, which was definitely uncharacteristic of your usually composed self. When all of this would be over, you would surely blame it on the lack of sleep, the stress occasioned by travelling and the jet lag. Your friend walked over to you, resting a soft hand on your shoulder in reassurance and questioning why you were in tears, but all you could manage to do was to gesture at your car and the van. You were so caught up in your thoughts that you did not notice the men coming out of the car.

BTS all sat in the van, curious as to what was taking so long. The driver soon came back and requested the only English speaking manager to come out, as the other individuals involved in the situation did not seem to speak much Korean. Said manager then turned to Namjoon and asked him to join him, as he wasn’t fully confident of his own English skills. Taehyung had fallen asleep on Jimin, who was beginning to feel restless and slightly bored. He decided to follow the two other men out of the car, despite the orders he had received to stay seated.

Namjoon approached you and your friend, firstly asking if you could speak English. The both of you nodded, encouraging Namjoon to continue. Your vision was still blurred from the tears and you were frightened by the situation, so you barely noticed the shocked look on your friend’s face and the three men standing in front of you. The manager began speaking, but didn’t know how to finish his sentence, so Namjoon took over once again: “Would you mind telling us what happened?” Your friend immediately responded, seeing you weren’t exactly in a right state to speak much, explaining the full situation in details to the good-looking man in front of her.

Jimin had always been extremely empathetic, a trait that would sometimes betray him, as he would excuse people that did not deserve forgiveness or as some took advantage of him. However, as he listened to your friend’s story and saw you standing on the side with tears pooling in your eyes, he couldn’t help feeling the need to walk over to you and try to comfort you as best as he could. 

You felt someone resting their hand on the side of your arm, so you looked up from the ground, freezing as you finally realized who the men standing in front of you were. Jimin smiled softly, asking if you were feeling okay. As you shook your head and once again motioned at the two vehicles, he spoke up again: “Don’t worry about it too much, it happens to everyone... My friend, Jeongguk, could definitely tell you something about it.” He chuckled, then carried on, “Seriously though, we can definitely afford the repairs that need to be done to the two cars. Don’t worry about it, we’ll take care of that so you can peacefully enjoy your vacation.” You quickly shook your head, embarrassed at the thought of them paying for your own mistake, but Jimin was having none of it and dragged you back to where the others were standing, suggesting his idea to the two other men.

The manager refused, saying he was being too kind, as you were still the one who had caused the accident. Jimin did not give up and quickly thought of a seemingly fairer deal: “What about we pay for our own car and they pay for theirs? I can handle the cost for the van without a doubt.” The manager still felt sorry for you, and easily agreed to the offer.

You gratefully thanked Namjoon, Jimin and their manager, as Jimin walked back to you. “Please open your phone and give it to me.” You did as told, not knowing what to expect. Jimin seemed to be writing something down, and as he gave it back to you, you realized it was a phone number. He glanced at your slightly confused face and claimed, “Here. In case you ever need anything, you can call me, alright?” You thanked him and you both exchanged one last smile before parting ways.

As you sat back in your car, your friend turned to you and asked, “What was THAT?!” To which you replied, “You sure we’re not asleep and dreaming?” It came out as a joke, but you truly felt as though you were in some kind of dream or unconscious state since the situation felt so unreal.

You finally drove to your initial destination, the hotel, and right before falling asleep, you stared at your phone screen, a fond smile on your face.

KIM TAEHYUNG (V)

BTS had just started filming a long awaited new season of Bon Voyage. In the past few days, they had learnt how to cook traditional foods, competed in an obstacle race against one another and flew over the area in an helicopter, trying to spot important features that were listed in a document that was handed out to them.

Today, they were yet again racing against each other, but this race was much different than the one they had previously done. They were being given a map of the city they were currently in and had to orient themselves without the help of electronic devices in order to get to a specific landmark before the others did, requesting help from locals if needed. The boys all started at an equal distance from the target, but they were all separated as to avoid some members following or helping out others, which would be considered as cheating.

Taehyung looked at the map in his hands, immediately drawing over what seemed to be the quickest path to take to reach the final goal from his starting point, then searching for the right street to head on. After walking for nearly ten minutes, Taehyung noticed that the road in front of him seemed to be going uphill on a long distance. He decided he would find a new itinerary, as the one he was currently on would significantly slow him down because of its increased difficulty.

He walked for another twenty minutes, before he stopped to take a small break. He stared at the street signs, then back at his map with eyebrows knitted in confusion. It seemed he had been going the wrong way all along, despite him making sure to look out for the different streets and avenues that would lead him to the landmark. With a deep sigh, he decided he would not waste time trying to find his way back by himself and would instead resolve in asking a local for guidance.

You were getting out of a small shop, a water bottle and your phone in hand. You had planned on meeting a friend in a park at the other side of town and thought it would do you good to walk the whole distance instead of going by car or public transportation, a choice that you were deeply regretting as you felt overly thirsty and tired not even halfway towards the destination. You had forgotten to bring something to drink, so you resigned in buying a water bottle and then kept heading towards your destination.

Taehyung noticed you walking out of the store and thought that you looked nice. He walked over to you, hoping you could help direct him.

You felt someone gently tapping your shoulder, then an unknown voice said, “Excuse me, do you live around here?” Confused, you turned around and nodded at the stranger’s question. As your eyes met his, they widened in surprise. You thought you knew who these eyes belonged to, yet there was no way Kim Taehyung could be standing in front of you right this instant, or so you thought.

He smiled shyly, then continued, “Sorry to bother you... My friends and I are not from around here and we’re competing in some kind of race. I’ll spare you the details, but now I’m — kinda — lost. Could you maybe direct me the right way?” You kept your excitement to yourself, not wanting to bother him while he was on some kind of vacation, and simply asked where he was heading, so you could help him out.

As he showed you his map with a big red dot on the target location, you realized it was relatively close to where you were meeting your friend. “This is going to sound weird, but I’m heading approximately the same way, so if you want, I could walk with you and accompany you until you reach your goal, then head off to my own destination,” you suggested. You knew this was not exactly the most prudent decision, as you barely knew the person standing in front of you, at least, not personally, and he might as well have been a psychopath that was planning on abducting you, but there was something about his charming face and genuine smile that radiated trustworthiness, reliability and kindness and you couldn’t help trusting and assisting him. Too bad if you end up getting killed, at least you’ll have spent your last minutes with a handsome man. Besides, he had a cameraman with him, so what could truly go wrong?

Taehyung gladly agreed to your offer, before stating, “Well, since we’re going to spend the next minutes together, might as well introduce ourselves properly. I’m Taehyung. Nice to meet you!” His introduction sounded so simple that if you didn’t know any better, you would’ve never guessed he was part of the biggest boy group in the world. “Nice to meet you too Taehyung, I’m (y/n),” you replied with a smile, handing out your hand for him to shake.

You didn’t waste any more time and started walking towards Taehyung’s destination. However, the man did not seem to be in such a hurry as he was before. He was fascinated by everything your city had to offer, even in the smallest details, and he often stopped and pulled out his expensive camera to snap a picture of something he thought was worthy of being captured. You had to admit he really had an eye for that and seemed to take some amazing pictures that you could only hope to ever achieve. He was very interested in anything you had to tell him about your city’s history, attractions and current events, as well as stuff about yourself and your life. He was very attentive, yet revealed very little about himself. Maybe it was the fact that he was constantly in the public eye that made him that way, so you did not insist on asking him more personal questions.

As you reached Taehyung’s end goal, you both figured he was clearly not going to win the race, but he didn’t seem to mind at all. He wasn’t much of a competitive person. Before you left and he went to join his other members, he cut out a small piece of the map and took his pen out, scribbling something on the paper and handing it to you. It seemed to be his phone number.

“Thank you so much for your time and help, I promise I’ll repay you for that. Just think of anything you’d like and let me know. Have a nice rest of your day and hopefully we’ll speak again soon,” he claimed, walking away before you could argue that it was not necessary of him to repay you for anything.

You went on to meet your friend and had to explain your late arrival as they gave you a skeptic look, but believed you anyway in the end. As you got back home that night, you plugged Taehyung’s number in your phone, a wine glass in your hand. As you were about to press send on your text message, you thought to yourself that it was definitely worth giving it a try and that the worst that could happen was that you’d be left with a funny story to tell.

JEON JEONGGUK (JUNGKOOK)

You had recently gotten a job at a relatively famous club in your city through a friend who already worked there. You weren’t exactly the type one would imagine working in a club, but you were gradually getting used to the loud music, the drunk people stumbling around and the flirty individuals, who’ve had one too many drinks and who seem to forget about personal space. Not that you were complaining about it, but working a few nights in a row could be quite exhausting and you definitely enjoyed your days off even more than you used to.

It was Friday night, which was already a busy night to begin with. However, at some point, you could definitely feel the crowd getting bigger than you had expected and the atmosphere being filled with an unusual level of excitement, which had you wondering what could be happening that had gotten people so thrilled.

It wasn’t a rare occurrence that celebrities would come and visit the club, but there had never been so much enthusiasm linked to it. Although you were curious as to what was happening, you couldn’t leave your spot behind the bar unoccupied, so you kept your curiosity to yourself and kept doing what you were supposed to do and what you had been doing all night: serving drinks.

It had been about an hour since the crowd’s intensity had reached a new high when two young men came to sit on the bar stools right in front of you. As you turned to face them, you immediately recognized Jimin and Jungkook from BTS, and god were they even more gorgeous in real life than you could ever have imagined! You thought to yourself that this must be the reason why clients had been so excited all night. Feeling slightly intimidated by their presence, you minded your own business, waiting for one of them to speak to you first.

After a few awkward seconds that seemed to last for hours, Jungkook turned to you, grinned and said, “E–Excuse me miss! Y–You really have n–nice hair!” He then turned to face Jimin, who was giggling uncontrollably at his friend’s behaviour. They were both very clearly drunk. You nodded and smiled, murmuring a quiet ‘thank you’, hoping the dark lighting would cover the fact that you were extremely flustered at his words. Drunk or not, Jeon Jungkook had just complimented you.

Turning back towards you, Jungkook carried on, “Can I pleaseee have um... maekju?” “I’m sorry, what did you just say?” Jimin quickly corrected his friend: “Beer. He wanted to say beer. I want one too please.” You nodded and left to go and get the beverages, confirming that this was what they wanted as you came back.

Before giving them their orders, you jokingly claimed, “Just because you complimented me, doesn’t mean that you’ll have this drink for free!” Jungkook exaggeratedly gasped in a silly manner and replied, “Oh noooo! Why?” You rolled your eyes, although your smile clearly gave away your amusement. “Because that’s not how it works, sir.” “You can call me J–Jungkook and... and this is my friend Jimin! And Jinnie-hyung, Namjoonie-hyung, Hoseokie-hyung, Yoongi-hyung and Tae are somewhere else. It’s Yoongi-hyung’s fault if I’m like that now! He gave me all these drinks Ma’am!” You almost felt as if you were talking to a child and you couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of it. “What’s your name, Miss?” “(y/n).” “Lovely (y/n),” Jungkook drunkenly mumbled.

It seemed as though the two friends were not there to party, since they spent half an hour discussing with you and drinking a few beers. Jungkook suddenly stopped you mid-sentence, asking, “M–Miss! I want your uh... phone number!” As soon as he finished speaking, he reached for his phone, handing it to you. “You need to put in your password so I can have access to it,” you stated. He quickly grabbed his phone back, unlocked it, and shoved it back in your face. You plugged your number in and gave the phone back to him, as he asked for your phone so he could give you his own number. He then insisted on giving it a try, to verify that all was working well.

After a while, you could see Jungkook dozing off on the counter in front of you, his excitement slowly being replaced by sleepiness. Jimin asked you if you could keep an eye on his friend, so he could go and gather his other friends, to which you gladly agreed. He soon came back with the other members of BTS who introduced themselves to you, all chuckling at Jungkook’s sleeping form on the counter.

You delicately patted his head to wake him up, so he could join his friends. He smiled up at you, then awkwardly hid his face back into his hands once he became aware of his surroundings and noticed his band mates staring at him.

When the time came for BTS to leave the club, Jungkook decided to pay for all of his friends, giving you definitely much more money than needed, adding, “Extra tip for an extra-nice barmaid!”

The next morning as you woke up, you tried texting Jungkook:

“Hey! It’s (y/n), the barmaid from yesterday night, in case you don’t remember. You seemed pretty drunk... How are you feeling this morning?”

You laughed at the short answer you received from his end:

“Sick :(“

You were glad he at least remembered you despite the drunken state in which he had met you. This seemed like the beginning of a pleasant and exciting friendship, and you couldn’t wait to see where this would lead you.

Author’s Note: Hi! I used to be excusemiihatesnakeu, but I recently changed my username. I haven’t written on this blog for a long while, despite having promised to come back with some content soon after having posted my first reaction. Truth is, not only have I been extremely busy with school, work, relationships, social life, etc. but it also takes me forever to write anything because I keep doubting my writing and lacking inspiration, which deeply discourages me of even trying to write anything to begin with. Despite still being extremely busy, I will challenge myself to write more, as it is somehow calming and freeing for me, and I will try my best to post more content in the near future, but please be patient with me, I swear I’m trying my best! By the way, sorry about the excessively long scenarios (and the uneven, varying length of those scenarios between the different members), I seriously cannot stop myself from writing once I begin. I’ve literally spent hours on this and I feel like I’m slowly losing my mind (lmao)! If you have any thoughts or (constructive) criticism that you would like to share, please do so in the comments or in my ask box (in which you can also request content). Thanks for reading my work and I hope you’ve enjoyed doing so! If you’ve read up to here, you clearly deserve an award! :)

[whitesparrows97]

A Thousand Springs – Part 20

Pairing: BTS x Reader/OT7 x Reader

Warnings: Heavy, heavy angst (seriously, the ending is not for the faint-hearted), mentions of blood, violence and suicide

Word Count: 5.5K

Previous / Next

(picture credit: photograph by Mok Jung Wook for TIME Magazine)

Warm. That was the first thing you noticed the next morning. You felt incredibly warm. You blinked as bright rays of sunlight hit your face and sprinkled the room with light. Your gaze slid down your body and immediately you saw an arm wrapped tightly around the middle of your body. You turned your head and saw that Taehyung lay snugly nestled beside you. You raised one hand and brushed the hairs from his face, which were standing out in all directions due to sleep.

It took a moment before you stopped in your movement. Wait, Taehyung? Your gaze fell to your other side where Jimin lay, his head at the spot where your shoulders and neck met. His warm breath met your skin at regular intervals. When you saw them sleeping so peacefully beside you, your heart leapt with joy. You remembered the previous evening and the words you had exchanged with Jimin. You couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across your face. 

You closed your eyes again and enjoyed the moment of feeling the warmth of the two men beside you. Their regular breaths calmed you down and you felt yourself drifting back to sleep.

“Hey, don’t fall asleep again,” you suddenly heard a voice and immediately you opened your eyes again. Confused and still sleepy, you looked at Namjoon, who sat on the edge of the bed watching you with a warm smile. 

“How long have you been sitting there?” you asked in a hoarse voice, not yet fully functional from the deep sleep.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe five minutes. You’re hard to wake up,” he said laughing, “almost as difficult as those two.” He made a chin movement towards the two men next to you. 

It was quiet for a moment and you hardly dared to ask, so much you enjoyed the closeness of the two. But you knew that time did not stand still. “Do we have to go?”

Namjoon nodded and gave you a wistful look. “You get ready, I’ll take care of these two sleepyheads.”

You laughed and tried to carefully free yourself from Taehyung’s clasp. In vain. The moment you tried to release Taehyung’s hand from your hip, his grip immediately strengthened. He muttered something before pressing his face into your neck. “Tae,” you said softly and tried to shake him awake. That too, in vain.

“You won’t get far with that volume,” Namjoon explained to you, whom you looked at seeking help. He sighed before he got up from the bed and tore the blanket off you. Both men next to you muttered something incomprehensible and Taehyung wrapped his leg around yours. 

“Well done, Namjoon,” you said laughing when you couldn’t move at all anymore.

“We’ll have that fixed in a moment,” Namjoon assured you, but he was interrupted by Jungkook who came through the door just then.

He took a quick look at the three of you in bed before a grin spread across his face. A moment later he lay across you three, and you definitively had the feeling of being crushed and the fear of never being able to leave the bed again.

“Jungkook,” Namjoon groaned and pulled the youngest back to his feet. Taehyung and Jimin next to you stirred again and it seemed as if the hubbub had finally woken them both up. You seized the opportunity and released yourself from Taehyung’s grip. With a laugh you noticed the two men complaining about your sudden disappearance before you went out the door.

∞ ∞ ∞

A little later you all sat spread out on two cars and made your way to the shopping center. You remembered going there a few times. Especially at the beginning of college you liked to study in one of the cafés there, before you eventually withdrew into your own four walls. That’s why you felt a little nostalgic when Hoseok drove into the mall’s parking garage.

“I have the perfect store in mind where we can look for dresses,” Taehyung said, intertwining your hand with his and almost dragging you to the elevators. The store he meant looked more than fancy from the outside and you knew you would never have gone in there alone. You had always avoided such high-priced stores. So you were surprised when a lady, around her early sixties, came up to you and welcomed you.

“What may I help you with?” she asked and smiled at you. “I assume you are looking for a dress for the young lady here?” 

You returned her smile and nodded, immediately a touch more relaxed as her warm and open nature swept over you. “Do you have anything special in mind?”

“Surprise us,” Namjoon said, winking at the lady. She giggled and made a waving hand movement in his direction before turning around and walking to the rows of dresses. 

“Have you never been to balls before, Noona?” Jungkook asked, who brushed his hand over one of the dresses. He looked up when you didn’t respond straight away.

“Not really,” you dodged the subject and turned your gaze to the many different fabrics and styles as well. “Somehow it was never really my thing…”

“You’ll like this, trust us,” Jin joined in and gave you an encouraging smile. Before you could respond, the elderly lady came up to you, a dress in her arms that made her whole dainty figure sink under it.

“Here is the first dress, would you like to try it on?”

You took the dress from her with a smile and gently stroked over the soft fabric. It almost felt like water gliding through your fingers, so soft it was. 

“The dressing rooms are over there,” the lady pointed out. As you stood in the spacious, separated rectangle, your heart was pounding up to your neck. You didn’t really know why, the nervousness of the evening ahead caught up with you. Your trying on dresses made the whole situation all too real.

You took one deep breath before you changed. You had to suppress a sigh when the soft fabric enveloped you and sat on you like a second skin. The dress was floor-length and had long sleeves, which were made of lace. When you straightened your shoulders, the only thing missing was to close the corset. A bit sceptical you examined yourself in the mirror. The dress looked noble in its pleasant dark blue and you were surprised how well it underlined your skin tone. Yet you could not shake the feeling that this was not the right dress for you. 

You flinched when you were suddenly brought back by the lady’s voice. “Shall I help you tie up the dress?”

“Yes, please,” you said, quieter than you had planned, but she had heard you and drew the curtain aside and entered the dressing room quickly. She inspected how the dress fit you and a smile spread across her face.

“It fits very well,” she praised and tugged at the fabric here and there to check her statement once more. “The clasp is a bit tricky, especially on your own. But you have some lovely men to help you,” she laughed at you in the mirror. You gave a little laugh from yourself as you shyly lowered your gaze. 

You felt her fingers on the back of the dress and you drew in the air in surprise as she pulled on the laces and you felt as if she was squeezing your chest a few inches tighter. She laughed at your stunned reaction. “I’m sorry, but this has to be tightened,” she apologized when she started tying the back of the dress. With every centimeter that she tightened the dress further, you felt your lung capacity drop.

“But breathing would still be nice,” you said breathlessly, pressing your hand to your hips to check how tight the corset of the dress was.

“But it’s worth it,” she said finally when she was finished and took a few steps backwards. “Turn once.” You complied with her request and she examined you thoroughly from head to toe. “Shall we see what the others say?”

She pushed the curtain to one side and you were surprised to see the men in front of you spread out on the sofas and armchairs. Their eyes were on you when they heard the sound of the curtain. For a moment no one said anything and you stepped nervously from one leg to the other. “So?” you asked, nervously chewing on your lower lip. To your surprise, it was Yoongi who stood up and came towards you. He put one hand on your waist and pulled you closer so he could whisper in your ear. 

“As excellent as that dress looks, I’d much rather see you without it,” he breathed and you felt your heart accelerate. You felt the blood rush to your cheeks and stared at the blond man. He grinned at you and you smiled back embarrassed. Your heart was beating as the others joined in to see the dress up close.

Jimin looked at you with narrowed eyes and mumbled something about that he would be right back. Confused, you looked after him and a few seconds later he came back to you with a dress in his arms. Wordlessly he held the dress out to you. “Thank you,” you said softly, still surprised by Yoongi’s statement and went back to the dressing room. 

The lady helped you with the corset and took the dress back before leaving you alone again. With some restraint, your eyes fell on the flashy red fabric before you started to put it on. If you wouldn’t feel it yourself, you would find it impossible that the fabric was even softer and more comfortable on your skin than the dress before. This dress was also long, probably a bit too long, and lay close to your body. It did not feel uncomfortable at all. It was as if the cut supported and emphasized all your curves and concealed parts that you always looked at in the mirror with a slightly too stern look.

Your fingers stroked over the high slit on the side of the dress, which even reached all the way up your thigh. You bit your lower lip, unsure, as you looked at yourself in the mirror; you looked sexy. You felt sexy, too. But was the dress really appropriate for a ball with the work colleagues of the seven men?

One big plus, though, was that you could breathe. You never thought that was a criteria. Naive as you were, you’d assumed it was a given.

“What kind of suits do you wear?”, you heard the lady ask the seven men. “They have to match with the dress,” she added with a little laugh.

“Probably simple black,” explained Namjoon. “The focus is on her,” he added so quietly that you almost didn’t hear it.

You could feel the blush rise to your cheeks with Namjoon’s comment. The seven always made you feel like you were their center. And they never hesitated to let others know as well. 

“Can I come in?” you heard the woman behind the curtain ask.

You answered yes to her question and she helped you fasten the clasp of the dress again. With her trained fingers, she straightened the sleeves of the dress so that your shoulders were exposed. 

“Well, if the others don’t like that,” she said smiling, “then I don’t know.”

With your heart pounding, you stepped out of the dressing room. You had to refrain from laughing when you saw out of the corner of your eye how Jungkook’s jaw dropped. The other men also seemed speechless. Only Jimin had a grin on his lips and seemed more than satisfied with himself. 

“Do you like it?” you still asked, though the men’s reaction gave enough answer.

“It’s perfect,” it came from several mouths at once and you had to laugh. 

∞ ∞ ∞

Your feet ached after all that walking back and forth and exhausted you let yourself fall onto one of the benches. You were glad that the others took care of the bags and that you could at least still feel your arms. Jin had left to get food in one of the many restaurants of the mall a few minutes ago. The rest of you were sitting on two benches with a small plastic table between you. A bit restlessly you distributed your weight from one thigh to the other before you looked up.

“I have to go to the toilet, I’ll be right back,” you excused yourself and stood up. You were a bit confused when immediately Hoseok and Jimin jumped up with you and joined you. “The toilets are just over there,” you explained to them and pointed in the direction. “You don’t have to come with me.”

Hoseok shook his head disapprovingly. “We’re coming anyway.” His tone did not allow any further objections and you sighed. You were just hoping that they didn’t insist on going in the restroom with you. So you exhaled with relief when they assured you to wait right outside the door. If you needed anything, you should just call. For whatever reason you would need help in the bathroom.

The relatively large restroom was empty except for one woman who was standing in front of the mirror washing her hands. No David waiting for you in the ladies’ room. For a short moment the horrifying image came to your mind of David looking down at you from over one of the toilet cabins. You shivered and reached for the toilet paper. In the middle of the movement you paused as you listened to the sounds outside the cubicle.

You didn’t hear anything and that’s what made you wonder for a moment. Had you perhaps simply not heard it when the woman had left the restroom? You strained your ears further, but apart from your quiet breathing and the muffled noises in the mall, you could not hear anything. As quietly as possible, you put your clothes back on and flushed the toilet. The loud noise made you flinch.

You took a deep breath and opened the door. Immediately you looked at the row of sinks directly opposite the toilet cubicles. Your heart was beating faster when you saw the woman who hadn’t moved in those few minutes. You tried not to let it show when you walked carefully to the sinks as well. You made sure to leave a few sinks free between you and the strange woman so that you were not standing right next to her.

When the cold water hit your hands you tried to watch the woman from the corners of your eyes. It was strange. It seemed as if she was just standing there. You didn’t want to stare and that she might even notice. But you were sure she wasn’t moving. Not at all. 

You felt your own heartbeat in your throat as you turned off the water and reached for the paper for your hands when the woman suddenly started to speak.

“Are you Y/N?”

You stopped moving; you were completely frozen, your one hand still on the way to the paper dispenser. You took one deep breath before drying your hands as relaxed as possible. “Sorry, I think you have me confused with someone else,” you stammered. You were glad that you had turned your back on her and she could not see how your eyes had widened in horror.

“Are you sure? You fit the description perfectly,” said the woman and you had to suppress the need to turn 180 degrees immediately when you heard how close she suddenly was to you. She had come at least a few meters towards you. 

Slowly you turned around and flinched imperceptibly when she stood not even one meter away from you.

“What description?” you said. Even though you didn’t touch the wall behind you, you could almost feel it in your back. It was like a barrier that trapped you and prevented you from escaping.

“David’s,” she said, making it sound as if it was the most normal thing in the world. And actually it should have been. You should have realised that David knew where you were at all times. That you were nowhere safe from him and that every moment, no matter how small, without the seven men, he took advantage of it.

You didn’t know what to say. All the words that formed in your head couldn’t get out of your mouth. Your tongue stuck to your palate and you were afraid to swallow it. Was such a thing even possible? To swallow your own tongue while being conscious? In any case, you felt as if the muscle would slip down your throat at any time and you would die miserably on the dirty floor tiles of a mall. But probably better than continuing to talk to the woman David sent.

“What do you want?” you managed to say. Your hands trembled and you clenched them into fists, hoping the woman wouldn’t notice.

The woman in front of you began to smile and a shiver ran down your back at the sight. The smile was crooked and… somehow not right. Something about her expression worried you and made your blood freeze in your veins. When you looked into her eyes, two lifeless eyes stared back at you.

“It’s best if you come with me,” she said and reached for your wrist. You could react just in time and turned to the side so that her hand reached for nothing.

“No,” you said and tried to push yourself past her, but her reaction speed was unbelievably fast. You felt a strong pressure on your shoulders when you were suddenly pushed backwards against the wall. All of your breath escaped on impact and your eyes closed for a moment with the pain that shot through your body.

“You stay right here,” growled the woman through clenched teeth. “Or do you want something to happen to her?”

This comment made your eyes flutter open. Speechless you looked at the woman and suddenly you were not so sure anymore whether you really had the woman in front of you or someone else. Someone you never wanted to see again.

“David?” you asked, and your voice was nothing more than a whisper. But the woman did not answer your question and grabbed your upper arms, hard. She squeezed the flesh between her firm grip and you wanted to scream. Your scream got stuck in your throat when the woman pushed you hard against the wall again. 

“Hoseok, Ji-“ you wanted to shout but your cry for help was interrupted by something hard that hit your face. Your arm shot up and you grabbed your face and you were glad when you didn’t have blood on your fingers. Had that woman just elbowed you in the face?

With your eyes wide open, you stared at her.

“Call for help again and I’ll smash your face on the sinks over there so that you’ll never be able to call for help again,” she warned you with a growl. 

You still held your cheek protectively, fearing the woman would strike again. “What did David mean when he said that something would happen to you?” 

For a brief moment another emotion seemed to replace the distorted masquerade on her face. Fear. Pure panic was visible one moment and gone the next. Oh, God, the woman still seemed to be there, in her mind. She seemed to hear everything and could not fight back.

“Who knows, there are enough possibilities,” the woman explained to you in a monotone voice. “Maybe I’ll throw myself in front of a car right right outside the mall,” she started and looked almost thoughtfully to the side. 

“I don’t care,” you whispered, even though the opposite was true. You didn’t know this woman, but you didn’t want anyone to get hurt. Especially not because of you. 

The woman looked back at you and for a moment she looked at you blankly. Then she closed her eyes briefly and when she opened them again, tears welled up inside. “Please,” she suddenly begged and was shaken by sobs, “please, follow his instructions! I have a little daughter at home! I cannot die!” She pressed her hands to her mouth to muffle her sobs. 

You felt your own tears burning in the corner of your eyes. You stood helplessly watching that woman. Hesitantly you raised one hand and wanted to calm her down. “Okay, I’m coming with you,” you admitted defeat. “There are two men at the door, we have to take another way.”

The sobbing stopped immediately. And so did the tears. The distorted grin reappeared as quickly as it had disappeared a few moments earlier. “There you go,” she said and her voice sounded anything but weepy and desperate. 

Your heart stopped for a moment when you understood that it was all just an act. Acting or one of David’s techniques. You didn’t know which was worse. You didn’t even want to think about how much power David must have to control a person this much.

The woman grabbed your wrist and this time you were too stunned by the sudden change of emotion that you couldn’t react and avoid her. She clasped it tightly and pulled you towards a door that was next to the cubicles, probably leading to a staircase only used by employees. You struggled and braced yourself against her pull. 

“Don’t make it harder than it is,” the woman commanded and pulled you closer to her with a jerk. You didn’t dare to call for help one more time. Her warning had burned itself into your head. 

“Let me go,” you said just as forcefully, but you knew that the woman before you was much stronger than you. 

“Stop it,” cried the woman as you grasped her hand with your free hand and tried to release her fingers from your wrist. She cried out as you pulled one of her fingers painfully upwards and you heard it crack loudly in the room. “You little bitch,” she screamed and released her grip around you.

You spun around and had your eyes firmly fixed on the exit door. But you didn’t get two feet before you felt two strong hands on your back pushing you forward. With a scream, you were hurled towards the sinks. You closed your eyes and all you heard was glass shattering and falling to the floor. You felt a stabbing pain in your forehead and palms, but you didn’t dare to open your eyes. 

“Hey!”, a voice echoed loudly across the room and you flinched. “Not one step closer.” Hoseok. You wanted to breathe a sigh of relief, but the pain that ran through your body was too strong and paralyzed everything else. 

“Baby,” you heard a voice close to you and suddenly a hand was on your cheek. Your eyes flew open and only now did you feel the tears running down your cheeks. “Let me see,” Jimin said softly and you concentrated on his dark hair that fell lightly into his eyes. His lips were pressed into a thin line as his gaze brushed across your face. 

“Hobi-Hyung!” he yelled and a second later the brown-haired man knelt beside Jimin, his worried look lying on you. “She’s bleeding,” he said and you knew he must be right. One side of your face felt hot and wet and out of the corner of your eye you saw the blood dripping onto the floor tiles beneath to you.

“Tell the others, I’ll take care of her,” Hoseok said without taking his eyes off you. 

You shook your head and immediately regretted it. A stabbing pain flashed through you and you squinted your eyes. “Don’t,” you spoke and Jimin paused in his movement as he stood up. “The woman, she was manipulated by David.”

“I knew it,” said Jimin, and Hoseok looked away in anger as well.

“No, wait,” you said, frustrated that they didn’t let you finish. Every minute counted if David would keep his warning. “He said he was going to hurt her.”

“What?” they both asked at the same time and you flinched as the loud voices echoed across the room and your head seemed to explode.

“Okay, Jimin,” said Hoseok as his gaze went from angry back to worried at your miserable sight. “Bring Yoongi here, tell the others to look for that woman.”

“But…,” Jimin tried to contradict him but Hoseok brusquely interrupted him.

“Go now!” The younger flinched at Hoseok’s stern tone of voice but followed the order and ran out of the restroom.

Hoseok jumped up and was back at your side a few seconds later, several layers of paper towels in his hand. You painfully grimaced as he began to dab the blood from your face. “Sorry,” he apologized and threw the red-soaked cloth aside. “Fuck, you’re bleeding so much,” he murmured before he dropped the paper from his hand and grasped your face with both hands. “This will hurt a little more at first than it does now, but this will help you. Do you trust me?” His thumbs gently brushed your cheeks. You could barely concentrate on his words as you felt the blood dripping again from the wound on your forehead. 

You tried to nod, hoping that Hoseok would recognize it as such. He took a deep breath before closing his eyes. His one hand came away from your cheek and before you knew what he was about to do, he pressed his palm to the wound. You gritted your teeth but a painful sound still came out. However, the sharp pain was replaced a second later by a pleasant warmth. Your muscles relaxed and you felt your eyelids getting heavy so that you could hardly keep them open.

“It’ll be okay, princess,” you heard Yoongi’s voice next to you. “What happened, Hoseok?“ Your gaze fell briefly on Jimin, who stood awkwardly behind the other two men, his worried look directed at you.

The brown-haired man remained silent for a moment before he removed his palm from your forehead. The two men began to clean your blood-crusted face while Hoseok quickly told what had happened in the last few minutes.

“And the woman was definitely sent by David?” Yoongi asked as he picked up the remaining shards of glass so you wouldn’t get hurt. Hoseok examined your palms which were also bleeding. 

“I’m sure I saw… him for a moment,” you said and flinched as Hoseok pulled a piece of broken glass from one of your hands. Immediately, a small pool of blood gathered in the palm of your hand. Hoseok stroked his thumb over it and you could see firsthand how the wound under his finger closed up. With your mouth slightly open, you watched the procedure in amazement.

“David certainly manipulated her, I could see it in her eyes, Yoongi,” Hoseok said and helped you up when all your wounds had healed. The only thing that remained was the slight pounding in your temples and your bones, which hurt. 

“We have to find her,” you said and your voice sounded worried. “I can’t bear to think of David hurting her because of me.”

Yoongi and Hoseok exchanged a look and you knew that they were not thrilled with the idea that you would remain in danger. “Please,” you added and the men sighed.

“Okay, come on, let’s go,” Yoongi said and together, you left the restroom. Immediately, the noise of the mall surrounded you and you tried to block out everything else around you and remember the face of the woman.

“There’s Namjoon and Jin,” said Hoseok and took you by the hand before you ran more than you walked and joined them.

When Namjoon saw you, he couldn’t take his eyes off you. There was concern in his eyes, but most of all, you could see the blazing flames of rage behind his pupils.

“Where are the others?” Jimin asked, looking around.

“We split up,” Jin replied to Jimin’s question. Namjoon was still frozen and carefully raised one hand before he let his fingers brush over your hair.

“Are you in pain,” he asked.

You shook your head and Namjoon exhaled in relief. It seemed as if that was his biggest worry. He lowered his hand again and looked at you for a moment before he averted his gaze and scanned his surroundings.

Your eyes also searched through the hundreds of faces of people who were in the mall that Saturday. Always in fear of seeing David’s face in the crowd at any moment. You began to walk together in one direction and look for the woman. But it was like a needle in a haystack. 

“She was talking about letting herself be run over by a car,” you noted as you recalled the scene in the bathroom and the men stopped. “Maybe we should look outside?”

You had just expressed your suspicion when your gaze fell on a figure a few stories up, going up one of the escalators. You immediately recognized her as the woman “There!” you shouted, pointing to the woman who had just arrived on the top floor at that moment. 

“I’ll call Jungkook,” said Jimin, and a second later held the phone to his ear. As you sprinted to the elevator, Jimin explained to Jungkook where the woman was. You could hardly stand still while you waited for the elevator. Nervously, you bit your lower lip as you watched the orange light above the elevator doors and breathed a sigh of relief when the doors finally opened. 

The ride up went much too slowly in your opinion, but you knew that the dozens of different escalators up would take longer. Still, it was worse for you to just wait without moving.

You were the first to push your way through the opening elevator doors and stormed towards the railing where you saw the woman. You breathed a sigh of relief when you saw how Jungkook was already there and you watched him calmly stretch his arms towards the woman and apparently talk to her.

His eyes fell to the side and he saw you. “Thank God you are here,” he sighed in relief and quickly turned his gaze back to the woman.

You felt a sickness in your stomach when you noticed how the woman pressed her back against the railing and clasped it firmly with one hand. Even from a distance, you could see her knuckles turning white with effort.

“Don’t come any closer,” she warned you when she noticed your arrival. Her eyes fell again on Jungkook who was still trying to calm her down. “And especially not you.”

Yoongi next to you frowned. “What happened?” He had addressed the question to Jungkook, but it was the woman who answered hysterically.

“Whatever is wrong with him, don’t let him come any closer. He just appeared suddenly, as if out of nowhere,” she explained and stretched a shaky index finger in the direction of the youngest.

“Yoongi,” Namjoon asked and he didn’t have to elaborate further on what his request to the blond one was. 

But Yoongi frowned and strained his eyebrows while he focused his gaze on the woman. Astonished, he took a step forward and immediately the woman screamed out.

“Stay away, I said!” To your horror you watched the woman support herself with both hands on the railing and lifted herself up on it.

“Yoongi!” Namjoon exclaimed, but the man shook his head in frustration.

“David’s manipulation is too strong,” Yoongi explained and turned his gaze towards Namjoon.

“Hey,” whispered Taehyung, who had also appeared next to you. He protectively put a hand on your hip and pulled you tight against him. But even that didn’t bring you any relaxation when you cast your gaze firmly on the desperate woman a few meters away from you. Tears ran down her cheeks and had already soaked her top, which left dark spots on the fabric.

You released yourself from Taehyung’s grip and took a cautious step forward. When the woman didn’t yell at you, you became more courageous and took another step forward so that you stood right next to Jungkook.

“We only want to help you,” you tried to calm the woman, but she looked at you with a mixture of hatred and despair.

“If you had wanted to help me, you would have come with me,” hissed the woman, “now it’s too late.”

“It’s not too late for anything,” said Namjoon softly, who had also stepped to your side. His posture was similar to Jungkook’s, his palms stretched forward as well. “We can help you.”

Suddenly, it became very quiet. Her sobs fell silent and tears stopped flowing. Her eyes fell on you and for a moment she looked at you silently before a little smile spread across her face. “Best regards from David,” she said before she let herself fall backwards into the deep. Your shrill scream echoed through the whole mall.

Written 2019-2021. Do not copy, translate or repost without permission.

I’m so sorry you had to wait so long for this (and about this cliffhanger)! I’m in my last semester in college right now so I have to concentrate on graduating (and I’m kinda terrified). The next few weeks will be quite stressful but I have another fuckboy!Yoongi (soulmate au) story planned and will post the first chapter in a few days! As always, I hope you liked this chapter and every feedback is greatly appreciated! I hope you have an amazing start into this week! 💜

Tag list: (if you want to be tagged in the next chapters, just let me know ♥️ )

@oddly-drawn-muse @yoongiismytruelove @btsmysteriestolove @unicorntrooper @crazy-fangirl-10@namjoonsslutakakoreanmanswhore @lyricstae @aretha170 @yoongisdumplingcheeks@bangtxnbxunch @brokencrownqueen@dont-hyuck @xanny91 @peaches-422@kimmie113080@madisonred88 @peachy-bhun @y-0-u-n-g-b-l-0-0-d @squeakermarie @lauren2408 @kalkeegan @unatempesta-dipensieri @dapppphhhhh @just-a-little-teapot13 @rosexbangtan @fawnzilla​ @pieislife​ 

[jooniperhun]

The End of the Rainbow | ot7 (1)

pairing: tall!black!reader x bts, poc!reader x bts, woc!reader x bts, black!reader x bts

genre: fluff, strangers to friends to (maybe) lovers [later], romance [later], comedy, misunderstandings [later], (slight) angst [later], smut (maybe??) [later], idol!au

rating: PG-14

wc: 2.3k

warnings: swearing

notes: the boys won’t make an appearance until chapter 2 but there is some foreshadowing in there (hint hint); pretend that corona never happened; most of the geographical locations/distances will either be made up or not named because I’ve never been to Korea lol whoops; this reads more like a reader-insert sorry that’s my default writing setting; and the boys’ backstories and such won’t be all that accurate because I’m the author and I say so teehee :)

“Text like this is spoken in Korean.”

“Text like this is spoken in English.”

summary: Your current job as a travelling housesitter has taken you to many places, some strange and many wonderful. When the acquisition of a new client takes you to Korea for three months, you wonder if your self-esteem can survive being around so many other-worldly looking people. Also, not to be paranoid or anything, but maybeperhaps you’re being stalked by the same seven strangers? They’re pretty loud and always surrounded by a tonne of people, so you write it off the first few times.

But this shit is getting excessive, chile. And annoying…

Rhetorical question, but what lies at the end of a rainbow? You hope that it’s a pot of gold, but with the way that your luck has soured, it might just be seven short(er than you), rowdy leprechauns ready to flip your world sideways…

Chapter 1: New Beginnings

Usually, when it came to social outings, ___ would go out of her way to make sure that she looked her best. Her wild mane would be tamed, her makeup would be carefully, painstakingly applied, and her clothes wouldn’t hold a single wrinkle. This, however, isn’t ‘usually’— this is an airport, and ___ currently couldn’t find it within herself to give a single, flying fuck about her appearance after the flight that she had just had. 

That isn’t to say that it was terrible— she was flying first class, for Christ’s sake! Not to mention that she didn’t have to spend a single dime on it (excluding the multiple new outfits and lashes that she purchased for herself because if she was anything, it was slightly vain). But a roughly 18 hour flight, combined with slight motion sickness? It doesn’t matter how comfortably she had dressed, or how attentive the flight attendants were, or how delicious the food was— ___ walked off of the landing strip probably looking exactly as she felt (read: terrible). 

Luckily, the good thing about airports was that she wasn’t the only one. No one paid her any mind, too worried about themselves and finding their respective luggages and families to be giving some rando more than a passing glance. 

She was officially in Seoul, South Korea, and she couldn’t read a damn thing.

Okay— slight exaggeration. Most of the signs had English (and Spanish, and Chinese, and Japanese) translations beneath the larger blocks of Korean, but her damn near-blind ass missed that the first time around. 

The airport looked as airports tended to look— large, modern, and clean. There was a beautiful netting of glass in the ceiling that let gentle rays of sunlight in. The walls were similarly comprised of the netting design and slanted outwards, away from all of the passengers. Statues and abstract constructions divided the masses. People from all walks of life milled around, looking for their luggage or anxiously waiting for their plane to arrive.

Incheon International Airport, Terminal One, Flight DL27. ___ reminded herself over and over of the number of where she would go for Baggage Claim, scanning the area and mumbling slightly to herself. She adjusted her dark shades and hefted her purse (her only carry-on) higher onto her shoulders, following the crush of fellow passengers into the depths of the fragile looking place. 

There were a lot of people walking around with black facemasks and shades on, so she was glad that she wasn’t the only shady-looking sista walking around. Inwardly snorting at her own pun, ___ nearly walked past her destination. 

It was honestly this part of each trip that gave her the most anxiety— that is, waiting for her suitcase to come around on the conveyor belt.

She had heard and read multiple horror stories about too many passengers never recovering their luggage. Either stolen, lost, or dropped from the airplane itself— if it could go wrong, it went wrong. But it’s not like hers’ is particularly interesting to look at. It was a simple, standard black. Only a red, knotted ribbon tied around the handle marked it as her own.

Ten minutes of fretful bag checking later, ___ finally found it. She gave a silent sigh of relief and turned towards the exit. Then, her anxiety flared right back up when she realized that she would have to hail a taxi to get to her destination. 

Honestly, her people-meter was getting a little bit too full for her to actually be initiating direct human interaction right now. 

But she would persevere! Even if her persistence could use a bit of work, she’s faked confidence enough times to make it. 

Getting a taxi to stop for her was like pulling teeth. By the time that she had stuffed her menial baggage into the trunk and clambered into the front seat, her temper had risen a few notches. She’s had a long two days. The flight wasn’t kind on her stomach or her sleep schedule— not to mention the fact that she felt disgusting. A shower sounded so nice right now… She didn’t want to be on the streets any longer than she had to be, dammit!

Donning her ‘Customer Service’ voice (as she liked to call it), she politely rattled off her destination to the driver in Korean. He was on the younger side for the profession (at least, from what she’s seen), with neatly laid dark hair and slightly tanned skin. His dark eyes constantly shifted from the road to her when they were stopped for traffic, but he luckily seemed to sense her mood as he did not say anything more than the polite initial greeting. 

All in all, it was a 30 minute drive filled with determinedly unawkward silence. ___ sent a quick text to her employer to inform them that she would be at the house in a bit, then sent another to her mother to let her know that she touched down safely. Almost immediately, her phone began to buzz.

Rolling her eyes, ___ answered. “Good morning to you too, Ma.” She said as her full lips tilted up in amusement. Upon hearing the English, the driver sent another glance in her direction.

“Hey, baby! It’s night time for us right now (we just got finished eating dinner). How was your flight?” Her mother’s voice gave a slightly tinny echo as she spoke, and the sound of shifting fabric clued ___ in to the fact that she, indeed, was probably on the toilet.

“Tiring. I forgot to buy Dramamine, so it was a fun time for me.” She switched hands with her phone so that she could look out of her window more comfortably. Little snatches of the city flashed by before they turned into a slightly more residential area. The houses here were large and gated, yet closely located. “How is everyone doing? No-one dead yet, right?”

Her mother snorted. “Yet is correct. Turns out, ya’ sister got herself a lil boyfriend—” ___ had to stifle her laugh before she gave herself away, “— and ya’ daddy wasn’t too happy when he found out. Her fast ass is sitting in her room right now, phone taken and everything. Woulda’ gotten an ass whoopin if we found anything triflin’ in it, but she’s clean.” Yeah, only because of her advice. No sending nudes back and forth, no secret folders dedicated to trifling shit, and no conversations going further than normal teen-girl gossip. Those were her three cardinal rules to sneaking around with a boy, and it seems that her little sister had done well to heed them.

“And the lil’ boy? Anyone we know?” ___ asked, playing along. If her parents found out she already knew about him, her ass would be grass, too. 

“Yes!” Ma exclaimed frustratedly. The driver jumped at the sudden loud sound in the otherwise silent car. “That nigga, Devin. Lives a block down from us? You know the one.” She gave the appropriate gasp at the news while rolling her eyes. Devin was a sweet boy who had a good future ahead of himself. There was no goddamn way she would waste her painstakingly gathered advice on someone who wasn’t good for her sister.

“Dam— I mean, wow. You think you know the people you live around...” She caught herself quickly before she cursed. Even halfway across the world, her fear of her ma’s wrath was still very, very healthy.

“I heard that, but I’ll let it slide this time.” Her mother’s tone was amused despite her previous outrage. 

“Anyways, as I was saying… I don’t see anything wrong with Devin. He was a nice boy, last time I talked to him.” From the cover of her shades, ___ watched the driver watch her from the corner of his eye. The car began to slow.

“Tell that to ya’ daddy. He—” Ma began to rant as ___ pulled the phone away from her ear. 

“How much do I owe you?” She asked quietly, hands dropping to rummage through her purse for her wallet as she cradled the phone between her ear and her shoulder. “—Alright, Ma. Imma have to call you back. We just pulled up to the house and I gotta get situated.”

Handing the driver the appropriate amount of Won, they both left the car to remove her luggage from his trunk. “Okay, sweetie. Love you! Call me again when you get settled in.” Her mother echoed as she mouthed a quick ‘Thank you,’ with a shallow bow.

“Gotcha. Love you, too! Bye.” She hung up and grabbed the handle of her suitcase, making it extend before dragging it behind her towards the house that they had stopped in front of.

She couldn’t really see anything past the high, brick walls and iron gate. Spotting an intercom, she quickly checked her reflection in her phone’s camera before she could press the button to call her employer.

Removing her silk head-scarf, she found that her high puff had held up reliably under it. She quickly stuffed it into her purse and pulled out her glasses case to place her shades in. Shoving that back in, too, she smoothed out her black jeans and checked for stains on her yellow top. It was only after assuring that her face was, indeed, clean that she rang the buzzer.

A red light blinked on before a voice answered. So there was a security camera for surveillance? Good. “Good morning! You must be ___, right?” Her voice was smooth and low, like velvet. It hinted towards an older age, especially when compared to the commonly high pitched tones of the youth.

“Yes, good morning.” ____ stepped back slightly to bow. The gate unlocked with a soft click, and she made her way up the driveway. She could only see one car at the moment, but from the size of the house— no, mansion—, she was sure that a lot more were probably in the garages (yes, plural).

The mansion was a modern white with a lot of windows to let in natural light. The lawn was cleanly cut and the rich, emerald grass shined with small droplets of morning dew. There was actually a surprising amount of yard space, which was ideal for pets and children. The only thing that she would be needing to worry about this trip was a dog and some plants, though.

Little solar-powered lights lined the walkway that ___ walked down. They looked nothing like the one-dollar versions from the Dollar Store, and definitely cost a lot more, too. She climbed a few stone steps to reach the porch. On either side of a dark-wooded door, two gold vases stood guard. They were almost as tall as her and intricately carved with little, delicate flowers. The welcome mat that she stood upon was a sensible dark brown and had a looping Welcome swirled across the front in white. 

She rang the doorbell and patiently waited.

A few moments passed before the door sprung open. The lady that answered was small and adorable in her old age. Her dark hair was sprinkled with white streaks, and her large, dark eyes were creased with laugh lines. The same lines were also wrinkled around her mouth, but they did not take away from the traditional beauty that she still held. Her cheeks were rounded and scattered with pink, and her skin was the color of milk. She was dressed in a fashionable black pantsuit and wore black pumps that boosted her height. 

“Good morning!” ___ bowed lowly with a sweet smile. Her eyes, large and slightly too round to truly be almond shaped, disappeared into crescents. With her face transformed so cutely by just a single smile, one would find it hard to believe that ___ had a mean, mean resting bitch face that, when combined with her not inconsiderable height, gave her a naturally intimidating demeanor.

Endeared, the woman bowed back. “Please, come in.” She invited, stepping aside and letting ___ and her suitcase drag in. 

***

She was still getting situated in the guest room when the door slowly creaked open.

Though she couldn’t see anything from where she was seated on the bed, the tell-tale pattern of claws clicking against the hardwood floor cued her in to who was entering— Mickey, a cute, little Shih-Tzu breed with floppy ears and a brown and white coloring. Despite the fact that he was male, Mickey had two tiny, powder-blue bows woven around his ears. His matching sweater creased slightly as he padded towards her.

“Hi, sweetie!” ___ cooed, reaching down to give him a gentle pat on the head, “Are you looking for some company now that Grandma isn’t in?” 

Mickey had been (surprisingly) very calm upon his introduction towards ___. He barely reacted (outside of a few weak wags of his fluffy tail) to her squealings of how cute he was. Perhaps it was behavior that he was used to.

He settled down onto the carpet next to her bed, the ideal spot for her to reach down and pet him if she wanted to. It was a good move on his part, because that was exactly what she wanted to do. 

___ was a huge dog lover— in fact, she just loved cute, fluffy animals in general. Cats, llamas, sheep— you name it. She tolerated reptiles, and if she had to handle insects, it was usually with gloves and a healthy bit of distance. 

The moral of the story is that she adored fur-babies, and until Mickey’s owner came to pick him up or his Grandma came back home, Mickey was her dog.

a/n: Thank you all for reading the first chapter! I really hope you liked it. The fun stuff starts next chapter, so please stay tuned! I have so much planned *evil laughter*

[mendesficsxbombay]

loving you is the antidote | s.m

A/N: I wrote most of this with two badly injured fingers, but when creativity strikes, it strikes! his name hasn't been mentioned in this fic... at all. hope you like it! 

requested fluff from this prompt list

17: mmm… you’re warm

18: you’re so cute when you’re sleepy like this 

19: I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a hot drink and someone to cuddle with 

“And up next ladies and gentlemen is a very special guest, she’s starring in Golden - hailing from India and known over the world is a critically acclaimed actress with awards lining up longer than the line of fans waiting to see her, and let me just tell you that line wrapped around the block!” James Corden jokes. The audience goes wild as he announces her name and she walks out onstage, the cheers nearly deafening as she crosses the room, all smiles and poise in her red bottoms, taking a seat opposite the host’s desk. 

“Can I just say something we start, you were the most requested guest on the show after BTS, and there was a damn near riot for the last two days for people who wanted to catch a seat here!” He exclaims motioning to the audience and a faint blush rises to your cheeks at the attention of the audience cheering and hooting for you again. 

“Hey, can’t compete with BTS!” She grinned back at him, “I don’t know if everyone knew this already, but I love those guys! They’re taking over the world aren’t they? And, can I just say something, too? I’ve loved the Late Late Show since the first time One Direction were invited as guests and that was a long time ago…”

“Wow, a fan is amongst us, that’s so nice to know! But enough about bands, let’s talk acting,” He moves to hold up a poster of her upcoming film, the sole reason for her to be on the show, “Golden comes out in just a few weeks, and from what we’ve seen so far it’s going to be everyone’s new favourite romcom very soon! Tell us a bit about the film!”

“I’m so excited, I can’t put it into words - Golden was like, the movie of my dreams, it was a story that I always wanted to see on a screen but playing a part in a movie like that was really just unbelievable,” she dishes out, filled to the brim with love for her upcoming project, “It’s a story about new love, the whole process of falling for someone and the new feelings that come with it and how different people address it differently, I think there’s something everyone can take away something from it - there’s something for everyone.”

“You said it was your dream project! Really?”

“Yes it was! I think when it comes to love stories we tend to see most things in black and white, but it’s high time we told stories that address the grey areas, too, you know? Like there’s going to be insecurities, there’s going to be doubts and second thoughts but whoever you’re in love with, you need to fight through problems and you’ll only come out stronger. A great love story isn’t the one where things get hard and fall into place immediately after, it’s the one that’s seen it all, it’s the one that’s worn in and still stands as it was the day it started - so I think it was a really important project for all of us to be part of,” she replies sincerely, nothing but pure honesty and now a little coyness dripping from her words, “And I hope it’s an important film for you, too,” she shyly looks over to the audience, which, listening intently so far, now responds with more hooting and clapping. 

“Is there anything from your personal life that made you feel closer to your character? I mean we all do have doubts here and there but I don’t think someone as like you would have to go through that” He adds, and while she knows this is just to butter her up the crowd’s reactions are varying affirmatives. When James sees her shake her head in disagreement he quickly speaks up, “It’s literally impossible, I mean, you’ve been titled most desirable woman in Europe and you’re not even European!” He’s exasperated in a way she’s seen before, but only through her television screen. A light spark is felt in her chest when she realises that this may only be one late night show of many, but she’s finally ticking off her childhood dreams. 

“Alright I’m gonna be honest, I’ve never really had very serious long term relationships before so I thought I was pretty much immune to these feelings but there was this one incident that really stood out for me - and even if it did or didn’t help me while filming it taught me an important lesson so - would you guys wanna know? I don’t wanna bore you or anything…” she baited the audience, her eyes glinting with mischief. She didn’t plan on giving out any details if she were being honest, they’d been so good so far but this seemed appropriate. She found it to the correct time to show off how mature and amazing and sensitive he is, and how lucky she was to have fallen in love with him.

“Ah! Do tell!” The host leans forward, propping his chin on his hands as he was ready for story time. 

“Well, this was in London last year. We had basically set up camp in the city for the movie for about… 7 months, I think. I had a few days off between schedules, but there was this one day that went really bad.”

She’d slipped and hurt her ankle right before leaving her apartment that morning. Her favourite jacket was nowhere to be found and she’d had a fight with her agent by mid day. The last few days of filming before she got a break were taxing, mentally and physically, but the exhaustion was now catching up to her. Whether she liked it or not, her day was nowhere near good and she hated to have to whine about it to anyone. 

“This boy I really, really liked was also in London at the time, and he - well he,” is a multi platinum selling artist that tours the world and plays shows for tens of thousands of people every night, “travels a lot for his job and that would’ve been the last day I would have a chance to meet him. And our relationship was still fairly new, it was just the beginning and I mean - you know what it’s like at the start - you never want this person to see you in your worst condition, I knew he wanted to see me, but I told him I wasn’t really in the mood for it and there was no option but to put this off for another time.”

A meeting with her team had confirmed that she would be working on her birthday this year. There was a photoshoot with British Vogue lined up the same day that could not be moved to another date, and she had fought tooth and nail to free up the date, so far as requesting for them to just free up those 24 hours and she was willing to put in double the work through that week, but they wouldn’t budge. To anyone else this would look and feel like a diva meltdown, and she felt guilty, too. It’s just that - her birthday was always spent with her family. Every year without fail. Her family would free up their schedules to spend a good day together, and she already saw very less of them since her career had taken off, this just felt like she didn’t hold the reigns to her life anymore. 

Getting out of the meeting, she texted him for a rain check. The words felt heavy to even type out, this really was the last chance they’d have of seeing each other for another two months until his Europe tour ended and she wrapped up her film. But there was no way she could let him see her in this condition. She needed to go home and curl up in a ball and cry a bit to just have an outlet - but she also needed him, his body pressed against hers and his strong arms wrapping her in, making her feel safe. Her fingers flew over the keypad for a second, pursing her lips to try and think of what could possibly soften the blow, not only for him but also herself. 

hi my love, I hope you’re having a good day so far. I know we planned on you coming over today but I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a hot drink and someone to cuddle with, and I think I’m in love with y- she tutted at herself, pull it together. She hit backspace, wiping out the text and typing again. hi my love, I hope you’re having a good day so far. I know we planned on you coming over today but I’ve had a rough day and I think it’s best if I spend some time alone, I’m really sorry for cancelling

“So you blew him off so you could go home and cry? That was your big plan?” James asked, clearly amused and you could only laugh at how silly it all was. 

“Absolutely! That’s exactly what it was! I wanted to go home and wallow in peace. When I cry it’s not pretty at all and I didn’t want him to see that but he ruined all my great plans!”

She could see that he had opened the text within five minutes of her sending it, and didn’t reply. Was he mad at her? She would understand if he was. With the way the past few days had tested her emotions, this was the one thing she could take full responsibility for. She reached home soon after, washing herself up and changing into the fluffiest pair of pajamas she could find. She fixed her hair into a loose bun, scrubbed her face free of makeup and took her contact lens out to wear glasses. She’d given up on the week and now she looked like it, too. 

She had only just found herself comfortable in front of the large flatscreen in her living room when she heard three sharp raps on her front door. Great. Now she would have to tell off the poor person who chose to come her way today of all days. When she swung the door open, her jaw fell open, too. 

There was the boy who took up space in all her daydreams lately, with two big bags of what looked like food, dressed down in a baby pink hoodie and a pair of sweatpants. Grey sweatpants. 

Seeing her unmoving for a few moments he welcomed himself in, and shut the door behind himself. He took off his sliders by the door, a habit he learned from her, and walked further into her apartment. He stopped for a second, only to place a soft kiss to the side of her head. He rounded off into her open plan kitchen, unpacking the two bags. He pulled out two large pizzas, and a crate of what looked like Nesquik chocolate milk. 

“What, um, babe what are you doing here?”

He turned around, as if he was surprised she was talking to him, even with the two of them being alone in her apartment. “Hmm? Oh, don’t mind me, just dropping off some food for you, I’ll be out in a second.”

“Why?”

It’s his turn to stay quiet. 

“You said… you said you didn’t have a good day, and I didn’t want you to be alone,” his voice was soft, keeping in mind the energy of the space between them. If she wanted she could just reach out and touch him, make herself believe he wasn’t a figment of her imagination, but not just yet. “I don’t really know what happened… and I don’t want you to tell me unless you feel comfortable and uh,” he ran a hand down his neck, slowly looking back up at her, “I got you your favourite food… it won’t make things better but… you can have it if you need. Got the toppings right as well.”

He opened the lid of the pizza box and slid it over to her on the counter. A large veggie supreme with no corn, extra olives and jalapeños. Just how she liked. The longer she looked between him and the food the longer he felt like he messed up. 

“I - I just wanted to drop all this off and be on my way, sorry for bothering you I just needed you to know it’s okay to have bad days and I know you wanted to be alone but I jus-“

“Stay.”

His eyes snapped back up to read her face, catch any signs of discomfort or annoyance or anything that would let him know she didn’t actually want him to stay. 

“Really?”

“Please stay,” she whispered, overwhelmed. She rounded around the kitchen island, pausing just for a moment to take a good look at his face and then pushing onto her tiptoes to hug him as tight as she could. If he felt the stray tears on his neck, he didn’t say anything. 

She’d planned on camping out in her living room and binge Brooklyn 99 ’til she eventually passed out but now that he was here, she wanted nothing but him. Turns out he did, in fact, think she would ask him to stay, and the second pizza he got was for himself. Sneaky bastard. Also a really lovely, thoughtful bastard, she thought. 

“And then we spent the rest of the evening just catching up, I drank like, four gallons of Nesquik, so I think I got high on that. But the one thing he taught me that day was that some things just aren’t in our control, and it’s not correct to punish ourselves for what could have been, y’all know what I mean?” She saw a few heads nodding in the crowd, proud of herself for sharing this story. “I think we’re all willing to forgive others no matter what, but we should learn forgiving ourselves, too. Also - crying is the best form of therapy - always!”

“And - so how did this night end?” James batted his lashes at her, causing her cheeks to flush even though there was nothing of the sort that he was implying. 

“Nothing that you think - I ended up falling asleep before midnight and he had to leave soon because he was supposed to catch a flight the next day. That’s it! That’s my great story!”

“mmm… you’re warm,” she mumbled into his shoulder as he carried her up the stairs to her bedroom. Her voice was scratchy and worn out, she did cry a good amount, after all, and then they’d eaten, finished half the crate of the chocolate milk he brought after which she’d snuggled up to him, and slowly drifted to sleep. He’d made her comfortable on the couch while he cleaned up after them, deciding to tuck her in before he had to return to his hotel. “I’ll really miss you when you’re gone, you know that, don’t you?” She continued mumbling things into his neck that he couldn’t quite understand, and then pulled away.

Slowly blinking up at him, she bit her lips, hissing at how sore they felt because she’d forgotten how he had kissed her, slow and deep, after their meal. No wandering hands, no further moves. Just them, just kissing, as the 99th precinct continued to save the day in the background. This had quickly become her favourite day they had spent together and she was clutching onto the last fleeting moments. 

“And I’ll miss you just as much,” he replied, laying her on the mattress, moving away to turn on her night lights, the room now lit in hazy gold from one corner. “You’re so cute when you’re sleepy like this.”

Her eyes followed him around the room, biting the inside of her cheek to keep any second thoughts at bay. “Can you keep a secret?” She whispered, mind suddenly more conscious than it had been all evening. What could she say, being this close to him caused cross connections sometimes. 

He sat down on the edge of the bed next to her, taking her hand in his again. “Of course.”

“I think I’m in love with you, and it scared me to let you leave without you knowing.”

The biggest smile she had seen all day slowly broke out on his face, bringing their entwined hands up to his lips so he could kiss the back of her hand. “Can you keep my secret?”

When she hummed, he sighed out dreamily. “I know I’m in love with you. I have been for a long time.”

Tears gathered in her eyes for the third time that night, and soon he was gone. 

“So this boy you say you liked, what’s he like? Do we know him? Does anyone here know him?” James perks up cheekily, and she knows exactly what and who he was aiming at. She can feel her cheeks heat up under the makeup, thank god for full coverage foundation. 

“I think he might get by… maybe you know him, maybe you don’t…” she trails off but she knows James would want more. She knows most people who consider themselves her fans must’ve seen the few times she was spotted with him over the last year. There was a grainy video of the two of them standing very close at a small pub in Toronto, a few photos of the two of them walking hand in hand in Hyde Park while she was still filming in London, the one 35mm photo he posted of himself by the fireplace in her house, the same house that was the backdrop of many of her own photos. She knew they knew. But the two of them had never confirmed or denied anything, keep ‘em guessing and all. The sneaking around was half the fun. The other half was not having the media and the general public up their asses for every minuscule detail of their private lives. 

“So it probably wouldn’t be someone we’ve seen before right? You don’t happen to know this devilishly handsome Canadian singer - his face looks like it was carved from marble - has the voice of an angel?”

She tapped her fingers on her chin as if in deep thought, “Nope, sorry doesn’t ring a bell. But it sounds like you do know someone like that,” she smirks back at him, “What say, James, wanna set me up?”

“An opportunity to set up an Oscar winning actress? I wouldn’t dare pass up on that!” He seemed delighted, fully aware that his show was the first and only one to have had her spill any details about her personal life at all. 

Soon, he thanked her for being on the show, reminding the viewers to grab tickets to her upcoming film before announcing the next guest. She was brought backstage to pack up and head home, but not before she had her promotional photos taken with James, and in their signature photobooth. By an absolute coincidence she pinned her photo next to her love’s, smiling at how pathetic and mushy it was. 

Later that night as she got ready for bed, she saw herself tagged in a video by the Late Late Show’s Instagram account. It was the one of her talking about how “the boy she liked” taught her a life lesson and how she asked James to set her up with interested suitors. 

She found herself smiling at the video, when she felt his presence behind her, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her into him. She let out a blissed sigh, and felt him nosing at her neck, dropping stray kisses as he liked. He cleared his throat lightly, sending chills down her spine due to the proximity. 

“Heard you’re looking for handsome Canadian singers to be set up with, where do I apply, Miss Golden?”

taglist: @shawnwyr​ @mendesstories​ @lanallaa​ @sleepybesson​ @rulerofnocountry​ @luvluvxx​ @wholesomemendes​

dm to be added or removed ♥️

[ephemerlskies]

in the stars tonight | pjm

⇢ pairing: jimin x reader

[other members - seokjin, taehyung, namjoon]

⇢ genre: series, ANGST, enemies to lovers au, actor!jimin, actor!oc, (eventual) fluff if you squint

⇢ word count: 8.4

⇢ genre: Landing a role that might launch your entire career as an actor had come with the most unpredictable and daunting circumstances: grappling with the tragic loss of your boyfriend, Namjoon, and co-starring in a film with the vexing yet enchanting (and famous), Park Jimin.

⇢ warnings: explicit language, themes of grief/loss, themes of depression, (many) mentions of death, mentions of driving under the influence (please stay safe!!), themes of alcoholism, themes of escapism, mentions of alcohol, mentions of marijuana, unhealthy coping mechanisms, lots of internal dialogue with one deceased boyfriend, arguing/bickering, seokjin being seokjin, eventual love triangle (ish) feud

♪ playlist: dynamite - bts, move! - niki, saint nobody - jessie reyez, through the night - iu, ilomilo - billie eilish, the truth untold - bts, slow dancing in the dark - joji ♪

╰ series index: 01 | 02 (coming soon)

a/n: i, and i cannot emphasize this enough, can't believe this came out of me.... it was just a lil idea in my head, but then it expanded into this entire story that was way too long to fit into a one shot. so, here's me serving up a hot plate of enemies to lovers with a generous side of angst and longing!!! i hope y'all enjoy (and hate) arrogant jimin as much as i did hehe <3 ps i have no idea how long i want this series to be i'm lowkey winging it

The world does not slow down for anything. Not for catastrophes or miracles or even something as devastatingly common as death.

When your boyfriend of three years, Namjoon, lost his life due to another's drunken mistake, you realized this. The world revolves on a scheduled orbit, and not even your tragedy wedged a wrench big enough to halt life just a moment. Just to let you breathe and grieve without feeling left behind. However, you were left behind, both by the world and him.

Every sun and moon, every skipped meal, every unfulfilled rain-check, every isolated Saturday night, and every cancelled audition that came as quickly as they left paid tribute to this merciless phenomenon. It seemed you now existed just to watch the days pass, just to balefully relive the moments before Namjoon's passing. And that seemed to have been the only way you could have survived. To make a recluse of yourself because if the world was careless enough to let someone as amazing as him go, then what held it back from spilling even more wreckage into your life? For the past six months, you stuck to the cold, dead past. It was all you had to hold onto; letting go meant plummeting into a depth far too unknown and inescapable.

You and Namjoon were steadfast. You were still steadfast, or more appropriately, stuck now that you had no one to be loyal to anymore.

You and him were one of those couples other people saw and wished they could replicate into their own lives, but when it came down to it, rooted for your happy ending with him. The type similar to that of highschool sweethearts who beat the odds, or the type whose encounter fell along the silver lines of fate. Something beautiful that automatically made all the love poems authenticated by you and him. And when he held you, the idea of worry or evil seemed like concepts that did not exist past fictional tales. So warm, so loving, now gone.

The way in which you and Namjoon grew over the three years you were able to love him was in a convergent manner.

Your branches and vines were woven into his, and his into yours. Even your roots, the elements of your past, began to entangle beneath the soil. To root between each other meant there had been a foundation from which you grew, a stability that was once neat. There was no boundary of which would discern your life from his. And at one, more favorable, point in time, your life did belong to him. Namjoon was someone you only knew for a mere fraction of your life, however the moment he wandered into it, you had unlearned how to continue without him.

You didn't think you would have to relearn.

But then one decision forced you to do so. One person, who decided paying fifteen bucks for an Uber was not a wise enough investment, ripped out the plant of his body from your shared soil by means of inebriated judgment and a missed red light. You had no choice but to absorb the cruel sustenance of the sun completely alone. Most of your branches of life were left barren, with torn twigs where your body once borne fruit and leaves and beauty. But the roots were where most of the pain inhabited. A stubborn, sharp ache resided in your chest, deep enough that you might have had to be cut open and searched through to find the source.

It had been six months of 'Sorry for your loss' and 'Gone too soon' and your personal least favorite 'He's in a better place now'. It made you angry, because was there a place better for him that didn't have you in it? How could anyone know what was better for him when they didn't experience something as tender and gentle and loving as your relationship?

But none of the sympathetic smiles or half-hearted condolences made you quite as angry as the monster who was too selfish to call someone to drive them and consequently punctuating the eternity you were meant to spend with Namjoon. You always followed the virtue that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Forgiveness was a sweeter release than anything else, but if you could, you would take that drunk driver's life in a heartbeat. You would have gauged out your own eyes if the chance fell into your reach.

Though, no matter how hard you screamed at the universe for hurting you, despite the countless pleas to somehow retrospectively tell Namjoon not to go out for something as trivial as toothpaste so he might be alive today, holding your hand in this waiting room, telling you that you're going to do great, you knew the world wouldn't stop for you or your sorrow.

It revolves, waits for no one, and you had to pace yourself to jump back into the turning carousel of life.

"___. We're ready for you!" His voice was ten notches above a volume that wouldn't irritate you. The only hint you let slip that his tone made you want to throw this script at his crotch was the muted sigh.

You knew this audition was going to play out like the rest. They would ask you to read, stop you in the middle of your monologue, then say something like 'Thank you for your time, we'll get back to you soon' which was show business code for 'We are not giving you the role'. The only reason you were here was because you had been out of work for too long, the piles of overdue bills on your kitchen table a cruel reminder of that. Plus, you knew Namjoon would have told you to go.

He would have said something like, 'Get your lazy ass out of bed and go to that audition! You don't want Hollywood to miss out on a star just because you want to sleep in fifteen more minutes'. And it would have worked. It always had. Now, the only motivation that came to your aid was the echo of his voice, and even that had begun its slow descent into forget. Other than that, guidance of your own volition was as fleeting and disarrayed as a violent wind.

"Hi, my name is ___, and I will be auditioning for the lead. Jordan." Your hand must have been fielding its way through a nervous tick. The person you assumed was the director was eyeing the way it had been contorting at your side, and you hated showing that you were nervous.

"Perfect! We've already casted the other lead role. This audition will mostly be based on whether we think you'll have good chemistry with him." Him. So your possible running mate was a man. Before a list of names engraved on rows of stars cemented into the Hollywood walk of fame ran through your head, you lifted the script and collected all the air your lungs would allow.

Maybe, you thought, my courage and passion might come with it.

And when you opened your mouth, something magical that you credited to talent claimed sovereignty over your body. Now, you were Jordan. Jordan didn't have a dead boyfriend, now ex boyfriend, or luggage enough grief to sink a depression into the crust of the Earth. Jordan was a kind, low-energy, and sentimental artist coming into an age of overwhelming success and fortune —and love.

That's what alluded you in acting. For a moment, you could escape your life, leave your pain on the back burner while you emerged into someone who was unacquainted with the pain of losing the love of your life. It was akin to a drug, administering an intoxicating fill of temporary serotonin. Instant relief, and if you got this job you would have your fix of this twisted sort of high that tempered the Namjoon-sized void in your life. And Jordan's life definitely seemed to have, quite literally, all the things yours lacked.

"Wow, ___, was it? That was absolutely incredible!" The hand-covered whisper that followed this appraisal gave you time to begrudgingly peel of the Jordan mask. Within a half second, all the pain seemed to compound into your body. If you hadn't already shaped your entire life around that weight, you would have fallen over. Though you had done this, and even worse, you had been shouldering it for so long, you would have felt naked without such a burden. "Okay, well, we have a few more auditions but I think we have our Jordan! We'll send your manager the full script along with the schedule for the first week of shooting in about two weeks."

"Uh-" If you had not said something quick, the opportunity might have slipped away all too fast, the way Namjoon had. You vowed to grab hold of anything remotely good that arose into your life, giving you more than late nights of choked sobs and transfixed gazes out of half-curtained windows. This offer was clutched tightly in your fist. "Oh... Th- thank you! Thank you! Fuck, thank you so much. This means so much to me, thank you!"

Before you proliferated the meaning of the words thank you and the director's smile turned into rolled eyes, you stumbled your way out of the door. Waiting on the other side was a world that might strike against you with partially docile cruelty. The wind pressed against your skin, almost blowing away all your grief with the help of this successful audition.

That feeling, as always, was as comforting as it was fleeting. Because the scars of your past would not have budged for any brash current. Because your next thought disrupted the scant flourish of joy. It was the thing that came easier and sooner to you than eating and blinking; telling Namjoon any news of both good and bad ranks, sharing your life to celebrate or stress over. One of the many things that remained by an undissolvable adhesive along your mind. You tried to soak it away with liquor or smoke it out with weed, but there was no breaking of habits you loved almost as much as Namjoon.

I did it, Joon. I landed my first role. You thought, because that was the closest you could have gotten to relaying the news.

Your heart began to physically hurt. Heartaches were literal in your case. Literal and grim. You felt the grip of loss pierce its sharp thorns into your flesh. It had nearly been as painful as all the times your words were met to deceased ears, speaking to someone that had not belonged to you anymore. Six months had passed and pain cannot tell time in the way people can. So, you knew the marathon of your grief was one that followed its own metaphorical clock. You just had to keep running in hopes you could make it out alive.

Though, being Jordan for the next six months would help momentarily satiate your grief. If there were a remote for your emotions, this role would be the mute button. Your pain would still move as it usually would, but now it would be silent. You wouldn't have to listen to its unforgiving taunts and crippling obscenities. It was only just that you were paid reparations for six months of utter misery with six more months of narcotic, soundless distractions.

Two Weeks Later

If the universe had given you one good thing, it was skill and dedication to your craft. The script was memorized in just short of four days, and even a sizable amount of lines of the other characters had been stacked atop your memory. Doing an acceptable job at this role wasn't something that was worried you. In fact, the idea of wearing another's life on your body and on your heart was something you looked forward to. 

It was a bit difficult to convince yourself how good this natural born gift was when the universe took something that felt a thousand times more crucial to your existence. Acting, or anything else that planted joy in you, was a consolation prize for merely participating in life. Namjoon was the reward you were meant to win in the end.

And you had no idea what the hell to do when the prize becomes in all of the sense of the word unattainable.

You hadn't driven in six months, despite the run-down Honda parked in front of your street, desperate to be given some sort of purpose. It was too much. Ever since the accident, the idea of manning a wheel that could take away more than it could ever offer was a responsibility you felt entirely too daunted to assume. Even though seat hogs, missed busses, and overcrowded walkways had been inconveniences of an indescribable level, it wasn't enough to put your body into the same vehicle that derailed your life.

Luckily, the bus stop was only three blocks away from the studio. It gave you plenty of time to get into character, however it also nestled in a span of time for Namjoon's voice to filter in and out through running your lines.

He talked to you a lot. As much as it made you want to cry, you held onto it, feeling as though it might be the last of his voice you'd be able to recall. If Namjoon's internal commentary were to suddenly disperse, you might forget his voice entirely. And you wouldn't admit this to anyone else, but you would always answer back. Sometimes out loud, and sometimes, when company forced you into sanity, you responded mentally. It kept you separate from life and any form of interaction with actual people, but it felt better than living in a world without him. Additionally, it helped keep his voice alive, which when you thought about it, was such sick irony. His voice, alive, his heart and mine and soul, dead.

And that was the only downside to acting. When there was another mind you had to engage in, Namjoon couldn't have broken the barrier and his voice wouldn't even register as an echo. Perhaps that was why you waited so long to dive back into your job. It felt synonymous with betrayal to do anything that would sever your connection already hanging by a single, fragile thread.

"___? Hello?" You were immune to every condescending gesture or vernacular weaponized in Hollywood by now. Your makeup artist's snaps fell into the base of annoyance you had grown used to. "Did you hear me? You're all ready."

Her voice wasn't too abrasive. If anything, you should be the one apologizing for dazing in and out of consciousness. Though, Namjoon's sweet compliments about how beautiful you looked with your stage makeup should have been the one to acquire this remorse.

"Sorry. I'm, uh, tired. Not used to waking up at six in the morning quite yet."

"Well, get used to it, or you'll have a rough few months ahead of you." Her laugh had shed whatever shell of pretentiousness once veiled her previous impression. "I'm Nayeon, by the way. I've heard many great things about you, ___. Let's hope you live up to the hype."

Nayeon's nudge was friendly, and it comforted you that within the first day you hadn't pissed off the person who could easily turn your face clown-like with a few heavy strokes of her brush. She was beautiful, too. If she hadn't been dressed in a black T-shirt strewn with foundation and powder stains, then you would have mistaken her for an actress.

"Let's hope so... I guess the director was selling me better than myself." Your eyes scanned the area, though no one seemed a fitting candidate to be your lead. "So, who's the other lead?"

"Park Jimin. I'm surprised they didn't tell you yet. I guess it's some obscure, artistic director decision to keep you in the dark. I’m lowkey fangirling right now… But, don't tell anyone that." Before you could respond, let alone react, Nayeon had collected all the products she needed for her next subject and was about a yard away from you. "Good luck, rookie!"

Park Jimin. You've definitely heard of him, but it surprised you that someone like him accepted a role in a romantic, indie, coming of age film that had not the budget to pay half of what he usually made in his repertoire of previous movies. He was certainly what one would consider an 'A-list' celebrity. The type paparazzi actually cared to stalk, and fans recognized in public, but were too shy to approach due to his sheer intimidation. It hadn't eased your nerves that he was notoriously withdrawn when it came to the behind the scenes portion of shooting a movie.

And, like any decent person, you did your very best to refrain from placing judgments without the opportunity for them to fill in their own narrative. Most of what you ‘knew’ of Jimin had been hearsay. However, you had some hunch Jimin wouldn't qualify as one who labored tirelessly for the roles he had landed or authenticated any sort of compassion with his rising fame.

See, acting and snagging a big role in a movie was characterized as a tall building for you. If one reached the top floor, then they would assume a wealth of opportunities and Oscar nominations and acclimation. Of course, this film industrial structure had various modes of climbing to the top. Some had stairs which called for more excretion and effort but still, all you needed were persistent legs, then each step would eventually get you where you wanted to be.

You had more of a ladder. Each wrung was slanted at an angle of which only deepened your brawl with success and had not been sanded down enough to save you from a generous supply of splinters. After a while, your hands began to ache and the fear that some high-society type would kick the base of your ladder always stalked the forefront of your worries. It certainly had not been a choice means of arrival to whatever awaited you on that top floor, however it was the only one available.

And while you had a ladder to overcome, Jimin had an elevator. The most he'd ever expend to reach that coveted floor was a few presses of a button. And perhaps his only sacrifice would be sharing the elevator with one or two others. Things just worked out for people like him. And an elevator’s delivery was always in a manner that was quicker than the likes of a staircase or a ladder.

When he arrived on set, dragging himself like his own body was a weight he shouldn't have to carry himself, you fought that instinct of yours to assume everything you needed to know from him.

Just because he's wearing sunglasses inside doesn't mean he's some arrogant asshole, even if that is the most cliché character trait of one. This internal lecture was certainly of Namjoon's doing, since he was always one to never run out of allotting the benefit of the doubt.

Yeah, I guess. But, come on, he looks like a fucking idiot. You replied as if he were really there before walking up to the callous man with your gauntlet thrown down by default. No need getting on Jimin's bad side, because you were sure it's complement was being blacklisted from the film industry. Instead of sharp edges you offered him a non-threatening smile and handshake.

Play nice. Namjoon reminded you before you had the chance to decide what you wanted to say.

"Hi! It's such an honor to be working with you. I'm ___." Jimin looked at your hand like you had filled it with mud and were intending on smearing his Gucci jacket, which you assumed was worth more than your monthly apartment rent. "Um, wanna touch base before we start shooting or..."

If his admonished glare at your hand wasn't encouragement enough to retract it back into yourself, then what he said, or more fittingly, what he didn't say next was.

The way his sigh infused a scoff within it made you feel small. It felt like fire, how thoroughly it burned you into a pile of ash, but then it felt like a gust of prickled wind that would scatter your remains completely. If it had not been for the way his head shifted from your head to your toe, you wouldn't have known that his shielded eyes were trailing the length of your body. Such a glare seemed like a calculation of your worth; it must have totaled out to that of a fly he had to swat away because the second you stood on the outside of his peripheries you stopped existing in his world altogether.

His back made a longer impression on you than his eyes, and that was your que to huddle yourself in the corner and stick to the two things you were best at.

Imaginary conversations with Namjoon and rerunning through your already memorized lines.

Before you say anything, I already think he's a prick. It might be pathetic to have instigated theoretical conversations with your dead boyfriend, but the world wouldn't know he would have scolded you first for already constructing an agenda to avoid Park Jimin whenever you could. You just felt an itch to lay down the first word.

You never know, maybe he had a bad day.

Yeah, well people like him don't need to be professional unlike the rest of us. I mean, I'm on the verge of openly conversing with you and I'm the one that has to turn the other cheek? Your script was decorated with a number of wrinkles. Proof that your anger was sleeping from your insides in the form of tightly gripped hands that were pretending to pinch Jimin's skin instead of the script. For once, you felt some grain-sized semblance of luck for having a grasp of acting to pull off pretending to love Jimin.

"Hey." You weren't quite thrilled to meet the person you had imagined pushing down a staircase standing over you. Without his glasses, it was difficult to remember why you had been so angry with him and you hated that. His eyes consisted of more than just irises and pupils, though you would not have been able to place what exactly accompanied these features. They were just eyes, after all, parts of a body. Functional. Mechanical facets of being. And yet, his seemed more than that. More than just sense mechanics. Perhaps beauty. 

But for him to have been beautiful, it would have tainted the very idea of beauty.

"We're about to start shooting. Don't make this difficult, I'm trying to leave on time." 

"Okay... Sure." Those were the two words you substituted for the 'fuck you' itching to crawl from your throat.

"I'm Jimin, but you know that already." The way he spoke was punctuated as though it was a waste of his time to spend any attention on you. If you weren't already drained of your strength from that tube of toothpaste that was some sort of paraphernalia of the night Namjoon became an article of your past, then you would have rolled your eyes or retorted with something that would knock him down a peg.

"I do." Your own weak will bothered you more than Jimin. "Um, I-"

"Let's not." Though he had no idea what you were about to say, a part of you agreed to not even indulge in small talk with him. It would be too forced and uncomfortable and that might leak into your performance on camera. Still, he had an abrasive way of going about it that made you want to disagree with him just to be able to lie contrary to him.

"Fine." It rolled off your tongue easily, like silk. His lingering eyes had you wondering if you somehow impressed him with your passive agreement or insulted him for not groveling for his approval. Either one would have satisfied you.

"Alright! Looks like you two got acquainted. We're jumping right in." The director, Kim Seokjin, was chirpy. Even if this project wasn't necessarily mainstream or highly anticipated, he was the type to salvage all his passion and pour it into anything he created. It comforted you knowing someone other than you found this to be somewhat life changing. "Please, Jimin, ___, on your marks. This is the scene where you two meet, so we're hoping you two can infuse that feeling of being slightly awkward but nevertheless enthralled in each other's presence. Got it?"

"Yessir." You said, and Jimin only produced a nod which seemed generous for him. Fighting the urge to snarl or squeeze your brows together came as a difficulty you had to practice at.

"Slate! Quiet on set..." Seokjin’s voice filled the empty space of the entire studio.

"Scene one, take one." Just as the snap of the slate reverberated through the room, your eyes changed just as abruptly. Your gaze upon the set transformed it into your reality. You looked at Jimin and now saw Laurie, a young soul filled with enough dreams and kindness one could have mistaken him for a cloud; the kind that spoke in loving whispers and gentle caresses. He reminded you a lot of someone else you knew.

You tucked Namjoon's voice away with the rest of your grief and became Jordan.

Amazing things seemed to happen when you least expected them too. You guessed that was the nature of amazing things, for if you expected them then they probably wouldn’t feel so amazing. About halfway through the scene, after a number of cuts, re-shoots, directorial notes, you noticed something. Or more so, this something willed you to notice.

Once you fell into stride with your character, it became easier to pick up on the person acting opposite of you. Maybe you hadn't given Jimin enough credit before. You knew maybe was an understatement, though you felt a sting admitting talent had fallen into his hands just as all his accomplishments had.

Jimin's acting rested on the side most polar to your own. You replicated, he revolutionized. You became your character, shrinking yourself enough so that one wouldn't have been able to tell who you were beyond who you were playing. Jimin, however, made the character his own. There was no minimizing his own body to fit into the mold of the character. Jimin was the mold, and he sculpted the character to fit along himself. He forged his movements, voice, and confidence into whichever role he played and brought life to someone strewn with a signature of his own soul polishing said character. All the while, he was inventive with each intention and emotion that were strung into his lines.

It was difficult to pull this off, being that you could easily begin to just play yourself in a movie and neglect any character mannerisms that you were supposed to portray, however Jimin seems to slip in and out of his role with ease. And with each take, he peppered in more dimensions to a character. He gave meaning and depth to a person constructed onto a paper script until you couldn't believe this person didn't exist in real life.

That was the amazing thing that kept your well-rehearsed lines behind an impermeable wall of reluctant admiration.

What hadn't helped, though seemed to have been timed to a tee to unwind your sensibility, and timing had always worked against you like you had done wrong to it, was the part when Laurie was written to sneak his hand along your waist after Jordan stepped backwards into his body.

His palm felt so warm. So warm that the entire world felt too cold for you to be anywhere but apart from his touch. Then, all your lines spilled from your recollection. He was standing close behind you, the plush of his cheek tickling your ear and sending the entire world away so you and he could reserve this moment just for yourselves.

"Your line." His whisper wouldn't be picked up by the mic, though it had no trouble debilitating the rest of your senses. Did he intend for it to blur any sort of attraction his character felt for you into the life beyond the camera?

The director called cut to the scene, and it felt like a lifetime before you were released from the entrapping heat of Jimin's body. When you spun around, hoping you could at least dig through your throat to pull out a deflated apology, the smirk laced along his lips illustrated every bit of his arrogance and once again shut you up.

From the way his eyebrow was arched, you assumed he must have read your mind. He knew what he did to you, and it reminded you of everything you disliked about Jimin. Presumptuous, prideful in his taunts. It also reminded you that he stood many floors above you in this architectural competition of acting. You were grabbing hold of each wrung as you went, unprepared for something as disarming as Jimin. All he had to do was peer down at the sight of you to make you feel a hundred times lower than him. 

“___? What’s wrong?” You looked over to find Seokjin’s half worried, half irritated expression. 

“No, nothing. Sorry, I just blanked for a second.” Jimin’s snide chuckle at your confession to a faulty performance didn’t help simmer the burn of embarrassment.

"It’s okay, I get it.” The director offered a smile as a peace offering, and since he looked not seven years older than you, it had you assuming he was the laid-back type. “Let's take five. We'll block a few of the scenes and finish the rest of this and we'll call it a day."

You made your nest over at the snack bar. Shoving half of a donut into your mouth had almost resurged your energy. Nayeon made a swift return to pat your face with more powder.

"Hey, you're pretty damn good." You were stuck with a mouthful of donut to null any chance of responding. "Except for when you kinda just shut down at that last scene."

You would have felt embarrassed, or rather more embarrassed than you currently did, if it weren't for the light laugh that followed. All you had to reply with was a shrug.

"I mean, I don't blame you. Jimin's pretty hot and if I were cozying up to him during a scene I'm sure I would also fuck up my lines." Nayeon finished applying whatever touch ups she felt necessary, not without a suggestive eye arch. This either meant she was going to shuffle over to another actor in need of visual repair or she would stay and talk. Her continued monologue advocating for Jimin's talents and good looks proved the latter was what you had in store. "I mean, damn. Also, I'm pretty sure he's got abs under that shirt. So, are you into him? Is that it?”

"It's not like that." The harsh delivery gave an impression contrary to what you said. "I mean, I just... He's just really good at this. I guess I got kinda intimidated."

Normally, you would have sought Namjoon's voice ringing in your head about how you could do this, reminding you how he believed in you. It would have gotten you through the scene however, Jordan didn't know Joon.

"Well, he won an Oscar for a reason, babe." You finished the rest of your donut and begun a prowl for another savory comfort food. "I mean, damn, twenty-five and already winning Oscars and getting nominations. It ain't for nothing."

"Yes, this is helping so much, thank you." You twisted in sarcasm as if that would make you seem any less intimidated. Again, Nayeon laughed off any shroud of roughness coating your words.

"What, do you want me to lie? Is that how you want to start this friendship, with lies?" Her elbow nudged you, and that alone communicated more than the brief exchanges you two shared. Now, you had a friend. Someone else to talk with that wasn't a figment of your own imagination.

Look at you, already making friends. Your smile was not as hidden as you attempted for it to be. Namjoon's little encouragements had that effect on you.

"What's that smile for?"

"Oh, nothing." You scarfed down the mini muffin, turning towards Nayeon. "Just happy my makeup artist goes easy on the blush."

She winked, and you felt ready to be sent back into the throes of this film. You weren't keen on Jimin feeling closer to a competitor than a partner in this project, however if that is how he wanted it to be, you were never one to submit so easily. You were determined to level this playing field, and your communion with victory felt like a well-deserved birthright.

"Thought I told you I wanted to go home on time, rookie." You watched his lips shape such venomous words, since his eyes, the unnamed, nearly beautiful presence, might have sunk you back into that state of speechlessness.

"I take it you're not a method actor, since Laurie is so sweet and you're a fucking ass." It felt good for all of one second before a series of reprimands fueled by none other than Namjoon now had you on the brink of apologizing.

"Feisty, huh?" Again, his lips eased out sharp words as if they would not nick the plump skin as it went.

You hoped Joon had nothing to say about how you were now tracing the lush of Jimin's lips. And yes, it had been six months, though you knew your love-ridden heart had yet to free its hands from grabbing hold of Namjoon, still, the feeling of attraction, no matter how brisk it might have been, felt like you were committing adultery. Adultery, over someone who was dead. You weren't the one who left him behind, and at the same time, you never got that shiny patent of closure. There was no break-up, so perhaps that was an explanation as to why your heart was foolishly stuck in love, never realizing its oath to loyalty was graced upon the deceased. 

You thought of love now, while you were supposed to be getting into character. You thought of the one thing you once had held worn so easily, and now you had been chasing it knowing your legs weren’t enough to catch up.

There was a well in your eyes, supplied by the same source which fossilized a ragged lump in your throat. And you must have blinked twice as many times as you normally would since Jimin's eyebrows met halfway between his forehead as he watched you. Or, more disappointingly, he might have noticed your tendency to grow red in more places than just the whites of your eyes when you were about to cry. Holding those tears in hadn't helped with keeping your skin less flushed.

It frustrated you that he might have noticed, which only twisted you tighter into the verge of crying. You knew it was unlikely that his watchfulness of your pre-breakdown expression was due to a lapse of genuine concern. For all you knew, he was subtracting even more value from your worth, plummeting you into negative integers.

And if you weren't so dedicated to your craft, then you wouldn't have the ardor nor the ability to pull off acting like you loved him.

Nayeon is a good makeup artist, I think you have a thick enough cover of foundation and powder to hide it. That of course, along with any sliver of light in this dark tunnel, had always been attributed to Namjoon. He was the reason you kept going, the reason you had been able to get out of bed to drink a glass of water once in a while, the reason you did not completely break down every time a tube of toothpaste fell into your line of vision. Him and the memorialized voice was what chipped the lump free from your throat and dried your tears before they had the chance to spill.

"What-" Whatever motivated Jimin to ask you something had been gone almost immediately after it sprouted.

"Quiet on set!" There was no way you'd figure out what he was going to say if the director had mandated pre-shooting silence.

The rest of your day went accordingly. Nothing too devastating happened that cleared away the momentum of excitement of this being your first big role. Though, not that you weren't beyond grateful for this chance, you made a chore of reminding yourself to be aware of your good fortune.

And, with the help of a few well-placed improvisations that made you seem somewhat of a visionary in your craft, your previous mistake had been washed with water under the bridge in the director's eyes. It escalated your ego and confidence to watch Jimin scavenge for an unpracticed reaction to go along with the slight details or lines you infused into the scene. At a certain point, you could almost describe him as impressed with your acting. Maybe enough to bump your worth up a few decimals, not that that should be occupying your worries.

"Wow, ___! Look's like we hired the right thespian. Great work! By the looks of it, things will flow easier from here." The director, who you finally felt on a first name basis with, approached with a hug. Though, usually this would have sent red alerts, you could tell Seokjin had no ill intentions of the predatory type. "Also, you two have chemistry, but it's not quite there yet. I want this to be believable. There has to be some real life element of camaraderie if this story is going to be genuine."

"So, what exactly are you asking of us?" Jimin, of course, sounded all but thrilled with whatever Seokjin was suggesting even when it hadn't been specified yet. And though you hadn't expressed it outwardly, this aversion for what Seokjin has been suggesting was shared.

"I don't know, get to know each other? Method acting works usually. I mean, Jared Leto did it for that movie and he seemed pretty crazy." The attention was never yours to claim once Jimin had already pressed his phone to his ear and Seokjin was off reevaluating the shots taken today.

You were alone again. Surrounded by an entire crew and cast, but alone nonetheless. Your version of escapism was never as consistent as you needed it to be. All it took was a moment of stillness for you to drift into some place much darker than your current reality. Jordan was sealed away for now, and you were trapped in your own body. It felt horrible. Being you without the man who loved and cared for such a kindred soul felt no different than writhing in pain. Being you without him was empty. Before long, you might have fallen faint in front of your coworkers.

The only target you could acquire as of now was Jimin, taken away from the world for reasons much less burdensome than your own. Where you had a plight of grief to sift through, Jimin had a phone and most likely a supply of friends to text and busy himself with. Seokjin wanted you to get to know him, try your hand at method acting so to speak, and that was the excuse which allowed you to walk over and try to kindle some sort of conversation.

"Hey, so, uh..." The pause came to no avail, since it seemed as though you could have said nothing at all judging from his reaction. "Hey."

It took a fictitious clearing of your throat and three more seconds of unwavering silence to lure his eyes from his phone.

"What?"

As it had been for this entire day, everything involving Jimin was made to be some sort of challenge. A feat you had to overcome without an ounce of reprieve, just to remain standing.

"Seokjin said we should, like, get to know each other. Or, at least get along. I think that's a good idea." His eyes gave absolutely no clues to anything below the exterior of an expressionless face.

"Why are you trying so hard?" You waited for him to laugh, or even for a laugh of your own to slip and loosen the tension. A laugh to make what he just said a joke, victimless banter, because it would have been wildly insulting if that were the most genuine thing he had said to you all day.

"What the hell does that mean?" Your arms were crossed as if that would keep your heart safe from his cruel tactlessness.

"I'm not taking this shit seriously." He laughed, but it wasn't the one that you wanted previously. It sunk wounds deeper, with such a dull edge too. "It's just a side job so people think I'm humble, or whatever my manager said."

The puzzle began to piece together, it took this admittance from Jimin for the picture to emerge from ambiguity. This movie was some form of damage control for his reputation, and that might be because your accurately placed criticisms of his lackluster humbleness did not stand solitarily. Your big break had been reduced to a convenient plot of image reconstruction. You were familiar with anger, it was one of your trickier stages of grief to surmount, but it still affected you to the same degree as before.

He didn't expect a response. You could gather that much from the way he instantly turned back to his phone, rendering you nonexistent once again. Namjoon would have told you to remain civil. But Namjoon was gone. It hurt to think that way, but if his voice hadn't emerged to mitigate this situation now, then Jimin was yours for the taking.

"You're a fucking ass." It seems brash was the only approach to seize immediate attention from Jimin. His eyes widened as if you had grown twice as large and the vision of you wouldn't fit in his narrowed, judgmental glare. "This may be a joke or a throw away gig for you, but this means a lot to me."

"Wanna back off, Jesus. I only-"

"No, I don't wanna back off. I haven't had the best year, and having a co-star that treats me like shit isn't really helping either. And, I get it, you're some sort of elitist who thinks they earned their success." You scoffed, tethering his eyes with yours as though there were a string tying them together. And with each step closer you took, the knot only secured tighter. "But people like you, men like you, don't do shit to earn where they are. But it's so cute the way you think you did! Truly, it's embarrassing watching you flaunt your ego around like you actually have something to be proud of."

"So it's like that, huh? You know, I was almost starting to respect you." The fact that his delivery suggested this was some sort of badge of honor made him all the more pathetic. You should not have put it past Jimin to boast over paying a fundamental level of respect where it's due.

"Wow," You doused a generous layer of sarcasm over your throat so the words came out so. "Basic human decency? From you? How can I ever repay you for such kindness?”

"I said almost."

"You're pathetic."

"Like you're one to talk."

"Yeah, well at least I don't pretend I'm hot shit." The tip of your shoes finally closed the gap between his. Again, you were snared in his warmth, however it didn't feel as tranquil as before. Now, it was closer to a pot of boiling water, evaporating flesh and bone until you were steam floating along the air, bendable and displayed out thinly.

"You don't pretend because you're just that bad of an actor, huh?"

It suffocated you, being this close with him; the blurry details of his face became sharp this way. His eyes were hypnotically watchful of your lips, preparing for your next gambit. You surrendered only a smirk, hoping it would antagonize him. And you could have sworn standing at the furthest point of the Earth from Jimin wouldn't appease this invasive thronging. The universe had yet to expand wide enough to provide an acceptable distance away from him. Until then, you were left with shallow bouts of breath tasting of metallic hatred, hoping those would alchemize into words that would make you seem more intimidating that you really were.

"Please, I could act circles around you. Your performance is transparent. Anyone with a scope of the basics of acting could see through you."

"Is that so?" You hated how quick you had been to notice his tongue slip along his lower lip. He must have found this delicious, patronizing someone who only had 'friend number five' or 'cashier' as proof of their employment. Jimin was greedy, devouring all the blood spilled from his wounding retorts.

In some perverse way, being the focus of his attention had you feeling fulfilled. Jimin, the man commonly sought after among the demographic of teenagers and middle-aged women. Not only were you proving your merits of qualification to act alongside him, but you had something to prove to yourself. You weren't going to let Jimin push you around without pushing him right back. You were strong enough to fight. It seemed to have come natural to you to enjoy provoking anger in him. It felt as if you were finally accomplishing something that was unattainable to anyone else. 

And even if you wanted to retreat, his gaze guaranteed your obedience. It was a battle, along with every other exchange you have had with him. Even when silence was the only parcel between you two, when the only semblance of noise was heavy, jaded inhales, it felt as though you and he were at wits to gather more air than the other. To see who would fall breathless first.

"You're pathetic." His words hit like physical blows, and you might have had to check for bruises along your ribs and torso from the churning sensation in your stomach.

"If I'm pathetic, I don't know what that makes you." You wanted your rebuttal to feel like fire. You wanted to scorch and sear blisters along his flawless skin for proof of any successful hit. “A privileged boy with enough of daddy’s money to get him any job he wants. But, I’m the pathetic one?”

He appeared unscathed, with one end of his lips rugged upwards, mocking you without needing any of the words to do so. Perhaps he'd gotten the best of you, as you were searching through your arsenal of refutes only to find it overspent. It would not have surprised you to discover his supply of acidic insults piling without a visible dent. 

His eyes looked fully employed in studying you, and you felt disrobed to be under such scrutiny from a stranger. Jimin seemed to have been reading you like words on a page, armed with a twisted smile that was unnervingly addictive, but you tried your hardest to keep your book closed. You didn’t want him to know how weak you really were.

"God, you're so-"

"Oh, great! Both of you are still here." Seokjin's voice reminded you that there was a world of events beyond you and Jimin. For a moment, you had felt secluded into a universe constructed especially for any collateral destruction that might have come of whatever war was about to be waged. "I have some notes for you two. Go home, read, digest, and come prepared tomorrow! I have full confidence in the two of you."

"Thanks." Succinct yet not lacking any tonal sentiment, Jimin got the first word in with the director, leaving you scrambling to find yours.

"Thank you." You were frustrated in how recycled your responses felt after Jimin handled them. Actors like you always fed on scraps of the higher-ups, and they were never as appetizing or filling as you would hope.

"See ya, ___." Your name sounded awful on his tongue, like his voice had filtered out the good parts of it and the waste remained spilling from his lips. Like dirt or decayed flesh, or both, and saying your name was akin to saying a slur.

"Fuck you." Those words couldn't sift through your screwed jaw or muffled throat, but it gave you satisfaction that it had been said in the slightest.

It wasn't until you were halfway to the bus stop that the realization pummeled you down a hole you hadn’t recollected being dredged. That whole time, what might have been the product of a mere ten minutes, was the longest segment you had gone without thinking of him.

It was the most intimately you had ever engaged in a conversation with someone other than the late, imagined voice in your head. And it was the most you've gone without consulting with said voice before speaking. You simply spoke, and listened, and responded; like you were normal. You couldn't tell whether that was good, because maybe you would finally be able to move forward with the world, perhaps catch up with the life you were supposed to be living. But, at the same time, the guilt festering something acrid in the pit of your stomach had you convinced this wasn't entirely sunny skies and bright futures.

"I'm sorry." What frightened you, besides your mental slip to keep the words meant for Namjoon in your head, was the unreturned sound of his ringing through. It took the longest ten seconds of your life for the mental silence to be furtively trimmed by your own train of thoughts.

Jimin had done this to you, that you were entirely sure of. Jimin and his carnivorous tongue and greedy glare had drained your head of its second conscious. The one it had adopted when Namjoon's body could no longer harbor it. And that's how he lived on, through you.

Jimin took that away, somehow. You could almost kill him for it, but you had not favored a life in prison nor tabloids that headlined the Park Jimin being murdered or 'Crazy, Jealous Co-star On Murderous Rampage Targets Jimin'. So, for the time being, all that was accessible was quiet hatred.

And you took that over nothing. You hated Park Jimin.