#but. but. i cant help but feel so certain that it just wont happen at all. i dont know what it is. but its unattainable | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mipexch · 10 months

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thinking about a potential ultrakill lethal company au type crossover for fun. long ramble of headcanons under the readmore. feel free to add on, i’d love to start something silly

i haven’t thought too much on the possibilities of an Actual fully fleshed out au complete with designated planets being certain layers so all of this is made under the idea that it’s just these characters tasked with doing what the employees do. all the headcanons i’ve made are just how i feel these characters would act :)

gabriel is.. he’s gabriel. his ass is getting fired IMMEDIATELY. he’s smart sometimes but his impulsivity & arrogance gets the best of him. he doesn’t need a flashlight— or a walkie-talkie for that matter. what is he, a husk? he goes in empty handed and comes out empty handed. his pride wont let him return to admit his tactic was shit so at best he steals another piece of scrap someone may have set at the front to bring back. sure. it works. he agrees to bring a walkie-talkie but sticking with the group is completely out of the question.

being the one on the monitor isn’t too difficult for him but it gets VERY stressful for the ones actually inside the facility. he’s going to yell at you to go a certain way and alert you to a nearby enemy only when he feels it’s absolutely necessary. he switches cameras very often and tasks himself with keeping everyone safe. if you stand still for more than 4 seconds he’s going to declare you dead and stop checking. (unless it’s V1)

if a dog happens to come by while he’s monitoring he’ll try hard to stay quiet for a short amount of time before fear gets the better of him and makes him start the ship (even if there’s still people inside). goes inside the facility half the time and stays back the other half. he enjoys reading through the bestiary and organizing all the scrap people dump onto the floor of the ship. very prone to getting attacked by snare fleas. he checks his surroundings but Not above him. dumbass

V1 is going in with nothing but a shovel and…another shovel. you cant even wield both but that doesnt stop them from wanting another. no one’s entirely sure how they have so many on hand except for gabriel. if he isn’t around to reluctantly buy them a shovel they’re going to buy as many as they can before they get caught. (gabriel makes sure to keep an eye on the terminal when they’re using it for this reason alone)

they beat the shit out of every enemy they find and disregard scrap completely. it’d probably beat another crewmate to death. whether it was on accident is up to you. they’re able to outsmart and survive certain enemies given they can hear them. they’d probably do very well at sneaking around dogs, although their first instinct is to make a run for it when there’s a forest giant. (they’re fast dont worry they can make it) the only creature they wouldn’t be able to survive and potentially beat to death is the bracken. explanation should be self explanatory given the enemy list i’ve made but they are Bad at frequently checking their surroundings and are very easily caught off guard. they can defend themselves quickly, but the bracken is. hm. yeah. you get it.

the only help they can offer their crew is being the only one brave enough (if you could even call it that) to retrieve someone’s corpse and successfully bring it back to the ship.

LOVES to scare other people by chasing after them with shovels but minos wrestles the damn thing away from them every single time

V2 is less like their predecessor but they still take after them quite a lot. they’re smart and actually have the decency to take a walkie talkie with them, but they don’t communicate much with it. it’s less of a necessity to them and more of a tool that may or may not prove useful in certain cases. they don’t particularly like being given orders (even if they know it’ll help) so it’s turned off half the time anyways. they’re smart in that they’ll actually look for and bring back scrap, but they have a bad habit of attempting to hold as much as they can instead of bringing more important things back to the front. they enjoy bringing back a big haul— it’s affirming. if V1 is with them, they’re going to try their hardest to avoid them but still follow their trail because they know every enemy they encounter will either be dead or chasing after the other. there’s a high chance there’ll be scrap V1 has ignored along the trail anyways. it’s smart until the frantic running stops and suddenly they’re face to face with a bracken. they’ll figure out a way around this eventually i’m sure.

they’re also really bad at jumping across platforms. they jump without looking and often take chances with jumps they can’t see. LOVES closing the ship door on V1 but if gabriel’s there its gonna be opened in under a few seconds & V1 will promptly chase them down with a shovel (and kill them!)

ferryman has a horrible case of GET SCARED disease but generally they do pretty well! they tend to follow around other crewmates but on the offchance they’re going alone or somehow get lost they ALWAYS bring a flashlight. they’re bad at navigating through the dark but they have a Really good sense of direction and can find their way back very easily. always the one tasked with investigating steamy rooms because they usually find the valve pretty quickly. surprisingly good at defending themselves against enemies given they have a weapon and a warning given before it shows up but coil-heads are a nono. they’re bad enough at prolonged eye contact as it is.

can’t work the monitor because they’re way too quiet for anyone to hear and they get really nervous about the forest giants (dogs are okay with them. they’re good at being silent) but they really like reading the logs people find. also really good at making jumps between platforms

swordsmachine ACTUALLY DOES THEIR JOB!!!!! SOMEWHAT!!!!! every piece of scrap they find goes to their designated corner at the front of the building. no one is allowed to take their scrap back to the ship. Their Pile. Will die everytime they land on a stormy planet because of their refusal to put their shit down. they’re smart but i think their scrap is too important to them and they think making a mad dash for the ship might give them enough time to get back before they get struck by lightning and explode. they bring NOTHING with them. they need all the space available to hold as much scrap as possible. if V2 is on the ship they tend to to tag along with them.

mindflayer reads as pretty lazy to me. im not sure why. they’d go into the facility but once they find one or two items they’re gonna return to base and camp out there for the rest of the time. they LOVE the mansions though. will stay in there for much longer than they should. steals all the keys people have collected overtime for mansion expeditions & unlocking all of the doors. very fond of almost every enemy EXCEPT the forest giants. they’re bad at not getting spotted

minos is like the Only level headed person on this entire fucking ship. does what he needs to! does it well! he heads into the facility when there’s less people going in (or the only ones going in don’t typically do much) but most of the time hes at the monitor. very good at calming people down when there’s an enemy near them. tends to lead the group whenever he actually goes inside. when he delivers back his first haul of scrap he always checks the monitor just to make sure everyone else is doing okay. he’s gonna go after them if he feels like they’re in a tight spot. instinctually goes for the fire exits instead of using the main entrance because he believes it’s better for some reason.

he has a nasty habit of staying in the facility for Far too long but he’s pretty diligent about getting back safely and with everything he’s found. if he feels particularly worried he’ll drop everything and run for it.

sisyphus is also pretty great. makes a lot of jokes over the walkie talkies whenever he’s doing monitoring (much to the dismay of whoever is being chased by creatures). he Will lock you in a hallway for shits and giggles but he’ll let you out after a few seconds. he does really well actually within the facilities but he’s mostly doing work outside with bringing scrap people leave outside back to the ship. loves jumping out of the ship before it lands so he can get a head start. if he hears or somehow knows that someone around him has just died he’s going to do everything in his power to bring their body back to the ship. he feels strangely obligated but in a way he enjoys. LOVES the jetpacks. buys one whenever it’s possible. weirdly bad at making the jumps between platforms

mirage really loves the mansions. will bring scrap back but leaves to explore the planets rather than focus on the job at hand. turns off her walkie talkie and keeps the flashlight just to stay out a bit later but always makes it back within the nick of time. if the monitor person dies (or everyone else does) she’s usually the one to start the ship and go. knows most planets like the back of her hand. if the mindflayer on the ship hasn’t already taken the stored keys then she probably will. not one to explore the facilities in the dark but she does really enjoy it when she gets to be alone. knows when it’s about time to leave if she starts hearing other people screaming. not intimated by the bracken- if anything she enjoy its company. her favorite piece of scrap are the paintings

POTENTIAL enemy list….

thumper - filth (ignore the staggering difference in power these two have)

spore lizard - cancerous rodent :)

bracken - something wicked. loves to target v1 specifically

snare-flea - ??? help me out here

hoarding bugs - swordsmachine would make SO much sense but for the sake of them actually being a crew member on this hell of a ship i’ll say a swordsmachine copycat. a scraphead

spider - i’m running out of enemies. spiders exist on earth too so i think it’d make sense for it to be a husk of some sort. nothing specific

baboon-hawk- drone :)

forest giant - i think corpse of king minos is most fitting. let’s just pretend he isnt 20 stories tall for the sake of this. cerberus would also make sense. either of them work

eyeless dogs - imagine a giant maurice rolling around. now imagine many of them. cant exactly see you because it’s made of fucking stone but it sure can hear you & you’ll definitely hear it when it comes barreling towards you before running you over

earth leviathan (worms) - EASILY the leviathan

coil-head - mannequin. maybe. bonus points if she gets to strike a different pose everytime she moves

ghost girl - i think it’d be funny if it were that one council member. any council member, honestly. they go after gabriel specifically

jester - im actually not sure! the skull looks most similar to minos’ parasites but at the same time having it be some weird hell-made husk machine would also be cool

jeb - it’s a bit lazy but hell itself would fit very nicely

turret - sentry. pink dot instead of orange

i’m ill. thanks for reading

#ultrakill #lethal company #nothing huge just something silly and small #this isnt serious its mainly an au made for fun but i suppose you could try turning it semi serious #help me out!!! add to these!!! id love it

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ppnuggie · 1 year

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hi! if ur comfortable with it can i ask for the constructicon and insecticons x gn human reader?:3

　　　　　　G1 x gn reader

　　　　『　constructicons ,, insecticons ,, gender neutral reader 』

　　-> relationship headcannons

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, crack

　　— YESSS i love these guys sm 😭🙏🙏 i wrote sm of them ,, hope you enjoy

- constructicons

| • these guys are so silly ,, theyre always trying to get your attention ,, especially if youve been gone for long or theyve been at work for a while

| • whether hook wishes to admit it or not ,, he does make plans with you in mind . he thinks about you more than youd think ,, always on the lookout whilst at work for something that'd pique your interest

| • scrapper just enjoys hanging around you in general ,, no matter what it is you two do !

| • you two could chill out and watch earth tv shows and he'd enjoy every minute ,, especially if it means you get to sit in his lap

| • mixmaster loves to steal you away any chance he gets though ! so be prepared to be picked up and tossed all around with him around

| • he is a sweetie though ,, and loves to hug and hold you close to him ,, even if its just an excuse to be close to you

| • mixmaster would take you wherever you wished to go ,,vibing to whatevers on the radio

| • but dont forget about scavenger :( whilst pushed out a lot by the rest of the constructicons ,, he really feels happy with you

| • he enjoys mass displacing and making blanket forts with you . he also loves how soft everything is ,, you included ! he'll probably steal any plushies you have and store them away in his habsuite <3

| • or he'll snatch a couple of blankets and pillows when you arent looking

| • bonecrusher also doesnt mind what you two do ,, but he is somewhat intrigued by human food ,, and tries to make it based off one of the shows you watched with scrapper

| • it didnt go so well though ,, and the other constructicons make fun of him for it

| • he enjoys when you give him a little cheek kiss ,, the big bot acts like a little girl ,, giggling in delight

| • long haul usually gets time to spend with you last because of how overworked he is ,, but he knows you'll listen to his troubles

| • youre there to cheer him up ,, make him feel better ,, he swore that if he wasnt a decepticon and wasnt so attached to the constructicons ,, he'd give away his days to spend with you

- insecticons

| • being with the insecticons is quite chaotic ,, especially when they dont really listen to the rules and all

| • not only are they super clingy but theyre super overprotective of you ,, any bot that happens to look wrong at you is now landing themselves into the medbay for repair

| • shrapnel spends the most time with you ,, whether you think about it or not

| • he usually says its to protect you from certain decepticons ,, but hes just really worried that something might happen and he wont be there to help you

| • youre the only human he likes :( he cant have you just dying on him ,, now when hes this attached

| • kickback loves to break into your home though ,, no matter how often you try to foolproof your house of insecticons ,, he always finds a way in

| • honestly youre considering getting bugspray but youre pretty sure thatd just make him mad

| • kickback also loves invading your fridge <3 so thanks to him youre always in need of a refill

| • though he usually eats the leftovers that you havent gotten around to eating ,, and unfortunately the tubberware too

| • its pretty much futile to stop him from eating it ,, hes threatened to eat the whole fridge before and you honestly dont want to take that chance

| • it takes time but bombshell ends up warming up to you in the end ,, and finds himself conflicted about his emotions for you

| • on one hand ,, youre a human and he knows how little time you live ,, how its a waste of time to even bother mingling with you

| • and on the other ,, youre quite addictive ,, and he cant bring himself to stop seeing you in the end ,, always seeking you out

| • he's probably the one with the only braincell amongst the insecticons ,, always fretting about how the others are gonna crush you

| • he doesn't understand how you can just laugh it off ,, letting kickback lay all his weight in your lap ,, he swore he heard a crunch somewhere !

| • though due to this ,, hes hesitant on giving you affection ,, but he does adore when you give him a hug or a kiss to the forehead

| • at night when you cuddle ,, he chitters silently and it's honestly become a replacement for white noise on the background

#transformers x reader #x reader #x gender neutral reader #insecticons #insecticons x reader #constructicons #constructicons x reader #generation 1 #tf g1 #transformers g1 #🌄.g1 #🌄.insecticons #🌄.constructicons

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sighs-deeply-and-dreadfully · 1 year

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Hi again Ghast °^°, I have a request that be either drabble or hc---you know I dont really care--- for a GN! Reader that struggles with sleep, a very much a "multiple all nighters" type of struggle. Sleeping isn't the hard part however, its the process of actually getting into bed and staying with only them and their thoughts, or be stuck in suffocating slience that leaved them too paranoid to sleep without feeling like they are being watched by someone, or something.

Wally would probably be the first to suggest having a sleep over, out a normal level of concern--or reliability--and he packs for the nines, face care, movies, coloring, painting, board games, books, man probably brought matching pajamas for the both of them. So even if the reader can't manage any sleep, they wont grow bored. Ofc kept it semi-vauge for your personal take on the idea, i cant wait to see what you may produce

-🌼

OHOHO.. MORE SLEEPOVER DRABBLES, YOU SAY..? I am feasting, flower anon- BWAHA /lhj /pos !!

I’m happy to see you again, though!! Hello again to you, too!! :] hehe!!!

Snoozing Soundly

Wally Darling x GN!Reader who struggles with Sleep

Drabbles Format, Relationship can be interpreted by Reader!

CW//There are descriptions of paranoia in this! I will put a red divider between the sections with it, so you can skip it if wished!! Stay safe, lovelies!

It had been days, at this point, since you had last properly slept.

The neighbours had noticed, of course they had— how could they not? From the eyebags painted messily under your eyes; to your staggering, lethargic movements; to your odd times of being out, or being inside your home.. It was pretty easy to piece together. They were worried, of course they were, but none of them were actually—? Very sure what to do about it.. You had begun to struggle even holding a conversation, at certain points— when your energy was especially bad, so asking if you were okay was a bit.. futile.

The first to come up with an idea was Barnaby, actually. He had been helping Wally brainstorm ideas on just what to do to help.

“Why not do a sleepover, or somethin’?” He chirped, idly fiddling with a stick between his paws, “Might help. We dunno why they can’t sleep, aft’r all.”

Wally’s eyes would light up a bit, before his smile grew— ever so slightly.

“That.. is a good idea, Barnaby. Thank you.”

With that, he’d slide over his untouched hot dog, an unspoken ritual between the two, and waved him off.

That following evening, your phone would ring— snapping you out of the half-asleep lull you were in. Your limbs felt achey and burnt, and your head held an ongoing pressure, but you dragged yourself to your feet despite this. Soon, you had grabbed your phone and placed it to your ear— Wally’s voice soon bleeding through it.

“Hello..!! I didn’t.. know if you’d pick up, ha ha ha!” He spoke softly, voice laced with concern. “Are you.. up to anything, tonight?”

You tell him no, but try to express the fact you were too tired to really do anything, if that’s where this was going..

“Oh— no, no..! I wanted to.. maybe propose a sleepover?” Beside him, on his end, he.. may have already packed a bag. Obviously, it’s a bag that can wait, but— he may have gotten a bit excited. “It’s.. okay if not, though, I understand you are tired, friend.”

His voice, albeit still somewhat flat, held genuine understanding— and you mulled over your options; soon agreeing. What’s the worst that could happen? Besides, the company might.. help.. with the constant nagging feeling you had.

TALK OF PARANOIA STARTS BELOW

What had started out as just a few sleepless nights soon quickly spun itself into suffocating paranoia. Each time you laid down, alone with your thoughts, the ebbing feeling you had throughout the day would run over you like a train. Your thoughts would quickly begin to spin out of control, until you felt stamped to your bedsheets. It felt like if you moved you were in danger, and if you stayed? Even more so. Nothing felt safe anymore— not safe from your thoughts, and you weren’t safe from it. It was exhausting, to never feel safe, to always feel watched. Maybe some company, or— hell, even just a distraction at this point, might help.. Your body longed for sleep, but your mind had been snapped into some sort of need for “protection” when there was no call to be protected.

END OF PARANOIA TALK

In just about thirty minutes, Wally had arrived with a little bag at his side. When you opened up the door, he stared up at you with a smile, one seemingly filled with relief.

“Hello, neighbour..!” He spoke with a smile, but to be fair— when didn’t he? “Can I come in?”

Your mind caught up to you, and you buffered. You kind of assumed it’d be at your house, but that hadn’t dawned on you until now. You hadn’t cleaned, you had been too tired to, and now you didn’t really have.. uhm, a chance.

Nervously, you told him yes and stepped aside so he could come in— immediately starting to babble apologies about the mess. Instead, he shook his head, and lightly put a hand on your arm.

“Would.. you like help, to clean? I don’t mind.” His smile softened. “I understand.. that you haven’t, yet.. You’ve been tired, it’s okay.”

No matter how the conversation went from there— you soon found him helping you to tidy up your home. You were on organization duty, and he was on mess/trash duty— which.. these “duties” weren’t directly specified, but it’s just sort of how you two fell into operation. Once finished, he’d just seem to contently place himself in your living room, legs crossed as he waited for you to join him— as he.. stared. Albeit that wasn’t uncommon for him, truly. When you did join him, he’d seem to be idly wiggling his head side to side.

“So..” As he spoke, he was— “discretely”— reaching for the bag he had brought. “I.. might’ve brought.. some stuff..”

From there, he began to rattle off exactly what he had brought— ranging from movies, to some of his art supplies, books, face masks (because of course he, Wally Darling, has face masks— have you seen him??), Monopoly (???), and.. and a set of matching pyjamas.

He had, earlier in the day, rung up Barnaby for suggestions on what to bring for entertainment at a sleepover! Barnaby, from afar, helped him pack— including the matching pyjamas. However, he had meant those as a joke— but Wally did not pick up on this, and instead genuinely brought matching pyjamas. They’re even in your size!!.. where did he get these??-

Very soon, after maybe some pleading from Wally, you were changed into the pyjamas and he was changed into his. He looked very content. From there, you two began to do a range of activities— albeit at a slow pace. Wally never rushed you to move faster or be more energetic, and instead encouraged taking breaks if you needed them!!

By the end of the night, you two had put on some random movie to giggle at on the old television. Wally was sat up, back against the couch as he crossed his legs, idly scribbling in a colouring book he had brought along. You were laid out on the couch, struggling to stay conscious. You felt.. okay. It was pleasant, relaxing even. Though some part of your body still held an ebb of worry— maybe even panic, it felt like it couldn’t reach you here, reach you now. You continued to struggle to keep your eyes open, the movie flipping by in the slow frames of your blinks, until you.. gave up. It was the middle of the night, the sun would rise soon, but you had no clue or care for that, now. You let yourself slip into sleep, ignoring the ebb of poorly-placed panic in your stomach as you did— it couldn’t reach you. You were safe.

Wally watched as you fell asleep, his hand slowing on his messy colouring book scribbling. He smiled a bit, soon sliding the book off his lap and onto the floor— and he stood. Grabbing a blanket nearby, he’d soon drape it over you, murmuring a soft “Goodnight, friend.. sleep well..” as he did. He then sat back down and nabbed the colouring book again. It’s impolite to leave when someone’s sleeping! So he’d be by your side, all the way until you woke up.

Gwgwgegegegg I HOPE YOU ENJOYED READING THIS!!! It was fun to write >:] I’m a sucker for sleepover prompts BWAHAHA

Have a lovely day!!

EDIT: Ignore that I forgot a title I’m SILLY

#sighsdeeplyanddreadfully #wally darling #wally darling x reader #reader insert #welcome home #welcome home wally darling #x reader

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gremlingottoosilly · 1 year

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hi!! how are you? i love your fanfic If you need to be mean and sometimes think about how reader is very young compared to Konig. in the last chapter konig says that they wont have a child soon but i cant help but think about that they will have one. and reader is young, marrying an older man who literally kidnapped and isolated her and i feel so sad?? i imagine her being a wife and eventually a mother to a man who she kinda of likes but she didn't even had a choice about having feelings for him :/ will you explore with more details that dynamic? the feeling that she didn't had a choice in a important part of her life is very sad :[ BUT IM LOVING IT!!! also lovefool is 😚😚🤌🤌🤌🤌 perfect

Hello! Thank you so much for this, first of all hehe. Yes, this is a very dark corner for our girl(for us??) because Konig is an old man with very certain values that he wants to fulfill and was unable to before we came along - he wants marriage, he wants to take us to his house, he wants us to be his little housewife and never having to work a day in our life anymore. Kids are a very strange subject to him, however. He thinks he wants them, he braces himself with the thought of little you or little him in your hands, giggling and laughing and just existing like a ray of sunshine - but this is it. He thinks he wants a kid because this is what he was taught, living in a very traditional old-fashioned family with his father who was always talking about creating that little cell of society, that you literally can't not want a kid. And if Konig is being completely honest with himself, he is...afraid. He would never be around his kid enough, not until he is retired and he is fucking scared of being retired and "useless" so he would work the longest it is physically possible for him. He loves us, his adorable young wife, and he wants to keep us like this forever, a sort of escapism of his own mortality - and having a child to him is like writing himself out of the future. So yeah, he wouldn't make us go for an abortion if we happened to get pregnant, but he is pretty careful about birth control and children and he is subconsciously thankful that we aren't really into the idea of having a happy little family with him. He loves us and that's enough, he doesn't really need us to love him back as much. I'm touching on this in the latest chapter on my AO3 so please check it out if you aren't already hehe

#cod headcanons #konig x reader #yandere konig #cod

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l-michalska-writer · 1 year

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Bookplots from "Scars from your knives" pt.1

Perhaps i should phrase myself better. You. Wont. Lay. A. Single. Finger. On. Her.

Yes, we used to know each other. But now I am someone you dont even recognize.

I’m not gonna fall for this.

It’s not your fault I cant be what you need.

Loving you is a losing game.

Giving us up didnt take a lot I see.

There are certain things about you i chose to ignore.

Why am I still here and waiting for us to happen?

I know youre not listening.

I cant even look at you.

Its better to love you from a distance.

I knew that this was gonna happen.

You’ll bleed just to know youre alive.

What should we do with this pretty liar?

I bet shes just your type.

If i’m being honest, i no longer know what was true and what was a lie.

All you did was take.

How many drinks would it take to forget you?

Just tell me what’s on your mind.

You made your bed now in it you lay.

My past is past. Yours doesnt seem to be.

Dont let your past be an excuse for your present failures.

You cant be serious…

You asked me once if there was anything I could not forgive you. I guess we finally found out what it is.

Theres no going back, theres no undoing what you did.

Nobodys feeling sorry for you.

The silence between us is defeaning.

This pain is a big part pf who i am.

„Please, I need your help.” „you would have to make it worth my while.”

Just love me like you were supposed to.

I’m done carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Young people fall for the wrong people guess my one was you.

In the end theres no love.

I keep forgetting theres no love between us anymore.

I love you and I hate you at the same time.

I’m terrified by the price there is to pay.

„They say she’s gone too far this time.” „and they’re right.”

Im just gonna call you mine.

I see it in your eyes, you don't believe a word I say...

I hate him for what he did to you.

When did you get so deadly?

Suddenly it's hard to breathe...

#my prompts #fanfiction prompts #story prompts #dialogue prompt #writing prompt #sad prompts #love poetry #story prompt #otp prompts #sorry for being depressing #writing prompts

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mizuena2010 · 2 months

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let the Mizuki rambles begin

okay well first off I’m using they/them for Mizuki here, but also refer to them with like feminine nicknames u could say? Idk but if that bothers you, I’m so sorry but I am NOT getting into all that gender stuff so.. respectfully, SHHHHHH.

also could anyone tell I’m obsessed w their character?

no?

didn’t think so either (｀・∀・´)

anyways. Here I go.

okay the reason why I’m so obsessed with this girly is just that they are too relatable. Like I will literally start crying like the emotional ass I am when reading their stories. Especially the What Lies Ahead event. Mizuki is faced with a lot of issues, most of them due to not fitting in. I think this is one of the most popular problems that many individuals face in today’s society, hence why their character is on the more popular side.

it is difficult for Mizuki to be themselves, and over the years, they’ve just learned to store away hurt they may face, and dismiss it like nothing. That’s why when the hurt catches up with them, it affects them very strongly, causing them to shut people out, and put up their careless act. I’ve also noticed the habit where they do allow people to grow close with them, but only at a certain point. Past that point, they fear what happens in the future if they cross that line.

Mizuki is also one who finds lying easy; a simple act to cover up concern from the people who care about them. They see their lies as something that benefits the other person, as when they lie, they won’t have to drag the other person down into their problems they see as burdens.

okay hiii guess whose brain is working again so Imma finish this up.

Besides the comments Mizuki gets, their other worries are primarily about the people they care about.

Despite the fact that they shut themselves away from others, they do get attached to people quite easily, and it doesn't take long before they think, "How long until I lose them?"

They dont wish to get so attached, but they crave for the affection that their loved ones show them. They want more of it, but are hesitant to ask for it. Experiences that are supposed to be positive for them can quickly become negative when Mizuki shifts their thinking process. Instead of cherishing their moments (not saying they dont, but they do worry a lot) they begin to think of the future, and imagining a future where the person they love ends up leaving them. This thinking process is something that develops over the years with issues like Mizuki's. They find it difficult to stay in the present, they cant help but grow sad at the thought that soon the memories they make with people they love wont matter. Change is something they dislike. They grow anxious while trying to find ways to get people to stay with them longer.

I think this is also why Mizuki was so taken aback at Ena's promise, and her words alone.

In the What Lies Ahead event, even after Ena says these things, they cant help but doubt her words. They try to imagine a future where Ena is forever by their side, but with everything they've faced, this makes it hard to do so.

It’s not like they don’t want to change, though. In many of their stories, they’re seen wistfully imagining a day where they could stop worrying, where they could stop lying to themselves and others, a day where they can have faith in the ones who promise they’ll stay.

Overall, Mizuki’s story is an interesting and well-developed one, with lots of build-up as they begin to realize that they don’t want to hide as much anymore. They want to push themselves further, they want to deepen their connections with the people they love. They’ve seen everyone around them move on, and they feel it’s time for them to move forward, too.

(I’m not ready for Mizuki5 I will be ugly crying istg)

#mizuki akiyama #mizuena #rant

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bridgyrose · 7 months

Note

If you've seen Hazbin Hotel - Emily and Charlie have a girls night that may or may not upset Vaggie... a lot.

(Yes, I have seen Hazbin Hotel, so I hope you enjoy this little drabble)

Vaggie paused as she watched Charlie do her makeup, trying to think if there was anything she was missing. It wasnt an anniversary, that still wasnt for a few months. Though she was certain it wasnt any sort of event for the hotel, otherwise Charlie would be making a bigger fuss about how everything looked. No, this was something different.

“So,” Vaggie started. “What’s the occasion?”

Charlie finished putting on her make up and started to brush her hair again. “Well, remember when we went to Heaven to try to stop the exterminations and get them onboard with our hotel?”

“Why do I feel like I’m not going to like this?”

“Emily invited me back up for a girl’s night.”

“Wait, what!?” Vaggie made her way over to Charlie, not quite sure she heard her correctly. “Why would you want to go back up to Heaven?”

“Because I think Emily will be a great friend to have,” Charlie answered as she finished brushing her hair. “And… I think she really does believe that our idea can work. So if being friends with her means making an ally up there, then I dont see why I shouldnt hang out with her.”

Vaggie sighed and sat down, watching Charlie as she finished getting ready for her girl’s night. “Then you shouldnt go alone. Someone should go with you-”

“I cant bring Alastor, Angel, or Husk for a girl’s night, Nifty is a bit too… and you… if I take you up there, then who’ll watch the hotel while I’m gone?”

“Since your dad is sticking around with us, I figured he could.”

“You remember what happened the last time we left him and Alastor alone, right?” Charlie gave a small smile as she finished up. “Besides, you’re the only one I trust to keep the hotel running while I’m gone. And its only for a night, I’ll be back by morning.”

“Wait, cant we talk about this before you go?” Vaggie asked as a portal to heaven opened up next to Charlie, standing up and putting a hand on her shoulder. “I really dont want you to go alone.”

“I promise, I’ll be fine.”

Vaggie sighed as she felt Charlie kiss her forehead and rush into the portal. She watched the portal close, still a bit upset at her girlfriend for rushing off on her own and without telling her about it. It wasnt like her to keep something like this a secret, and if she wasnt going to accept any help to keep safe, then she was going to take things into her own hands.

Vaggie quickly rushed out of Charlie’s room and started to make her way to Alistor’s, already running through her head how to get this favor without making a deal with him. When she reached his room, she knocked on the door, blood nearly freezing as she heard his voice.

“Come in!” Alastor said, his voice almost a bit too cheerful. “I’ve been waiting for you, my dear.”

Vaggie took a deep breath as she walked in. “Alastor, I need you-”

“I know exactly why you’re here.” Alastor pulled away from his microphone and smiled at Vaggie. “And I can give you exactly what you want. For a price.”

“I’m not here to make a deal, I just need a portal to Heaven. And I know you know a few people who can make that happen.”

“And if not for a deal, then what do you plan to use for payment?”

Vaggie paused for a moment, then smirked. “If you know why I’m here, then you know that Charlie’s in Heaven. And since you made a deal with her for a favor you still havent asked of her, I know that you’ll get me a portal to Heaven so I can keep her safe. Otherwise, if something happens to her, you lose that favor.”

Alastor’s smile slowly lowered to as close to a frown as he’d let it, glaring at her. “Fine, but only so Charlie can make good on our deal.” He turned to look out his tower once more, his smile coming back. “Though, I’m sure Charlie wont like you following her if she didnt tell you that she was going there in the first place. If I’m going to get you a portal to Heaven, then we’re going to need to make you look less like you.”

Vaggie hesitated for a moment as she watched Alastor’s shadow start to grow and a green glow started to come across the room. “A-and… what exactly do you have in mind?”

“Oh dont worry my dear, this will only hurt for a second.”

#vaggie hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #vaggie #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #drabbles #hazbin hotel

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freebooter4ever · 15 days

Note

I've been doing my best to stay up to date on the boots brainfog fatigue lore for a while and I have two things to say. First, I am so glad the antibiotics are working and helping you and you're able to somewhat pause your symptoms. And second, your story is so terrifying I had no idea anything like this could happen and I hope the saga ends soon with you going back to a normal livable life.

Apologies for the slow reply, it took me a while to come to grips with my story being used as a 'lore' example. Legit i sometimes forget that i have a lot more followers than just the ones who talk to me on a regular / semi regular basis. So thank you to anyone who is quietly watching this painful illness play out and rooting for me <3 i hope it ends up being a happy ending, though my depression right now is being a witch and telling me it wont. As i type right now my eyes are doing the '300 times more effort to focus' thing because i ate dinner an hr ago, and im slowly getting used to putting this much work into something as simple as writing but...gosh this is all exhausting.

I didnt know this could happen either, but i cherish all the friends and strangers who have gone through this or are going through this who immediately reached out to support me. I've met one guy in person who was a casual friend until now, but who is becoming one of the few people i can randomly text depressing symptoms to and just know he at least semi understands. He also promised to take me on his motorcycle the minute i get back into a physically stable condition so i at least have a carrot on a stick at the moment.

I have also had a lot of really really enlightening conversations with my grandma who has MS, and she's told me stuff about her own illness that I don't think she ever would have divulged to me if this hadn't happened. And I now almost understand why. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to complain about a symptom and then have a friend or loved one immediately counter with 'oh, i have that!' and then go into detail about how they handle it when their symptom is obviously fleeting and passing and much less intense. Also, there's certain people in my life who i just cant get to understand how this illness is connected to food. Every time their response is 'I'm sorry you feel bad, let me make you something to eat' and i have given up trying to explain, lol.

I think it's also important for me to note that although my blog has seen a lot of this drama that i shared...the WORST parts of it i have not posted because i simply dont know how to process or talk about it yet. And also most of the worst moments happened while with my friend G, and when I'm at their house I tend to not need social media so much.

The funniest part in all this - it took a month for me to become so terrified of food because of the intense pain/reactions after eating, that I don't miss food at all despite my diet being severely limited. I miss peanut butter, although my reaction to peanut butter is not so bad that i can't eat it sometimes (but not daily like i used to). Strangely enough, I don't miss bread at all, except I do miss the easy convenient calories bread provided so I could run/dance/exercise. There is only one thing I have been craving this entire month....this fucker from 85c:

I have dreams about this guy. I vividly remember the taste and texture and how it felt to bite into one. The joy of snacking on one in the California sun under the arroyo trees. I long to be able to eat it again ;_; But with how little food I've been able to eat, I can't afford to waste calories on anything that isn't packed with nutrition so :( no taro bun.

#Marble taro bun and geno are probably equal on the number of vivid dreams i have had #No thats a lie theres definitely been more geno dreams 😂#Jrnlsht

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imliketheiceifreeze · 1 year

Text

Resisting temptation-part one

Levi Ackerman x AFAB reader

warnings: smut, violence, swearing, MINORS DNI

summary: reader is a 20 something soldier who has hopelessly pined after her captain for many years, little do you know he has more than noticed your presence. what will happen when all of these emotions come to a head and the consequences of your actions become a reality?

I longed for him, his sharp wit and tongue that cut through all those niceties and lies. It calmed me in a way during this time of complete turmoil that seemed never-ending, he possessed the ability to prevent the spiral of anxiety. I guess you could say he grounded me. My captain. I will be forever loyal to him and although I feel he would not return my feelings I am satisfied just being in his presence.

I suppose that is the problem. When I am alone I cant stand it, I miss him. Part of me wants to believe he could return my feelings but to admit it and be crushed was something I don't think I could take, his rejection would kill me, so I stay silent. I'm an apathetic person you see, at least usually. I prefer not to make a scene, anything for a happy life. If I am offended I wont tell you, if I feel I am wronged I wont make a large effort to undo this, for the most part, life is too short so it is rare that I allow myself to indulge in such selfish desires.

I try to not think too much because when I do it takes over like a monster, eating away at my mind, poisoning it. I find solace in small things, like the time I get to write, one on one combat, fighting against titans. They occupy my mind fully, I can't have distractions from the task at hand, I'm shut off from the past and future, all that matters is the actual.

That is why when I am dismissed from my duties, laying on my bed stripped of my gear the thoughts invade my mind. I Can't deny the heat I feel on my hand where he brushes against it. The need to be closer to him. Know what he thinks and feels. I hate this infatuation!

A knock on my door broke me from my self-pity and introspection

“yes,” I reply quickly.

“Hi Cadet Y/L/N.”

I jumped to my feet and saluted the higher up, “squad leader Hanji, hello!" I exclaim.

“At ease soldier,” she laughs deeply, her shoulders shaking. “You are a jumpy one,” she mused making a red tint trickle up my cheeks like a blossoming flower “I have a duty I would like you to fulfil,” she carried on.

“yes Dr Hanji.”

“Corporal Levi has requested tea in his chambers, Jasmine, I trust you know where to find it in the kitchens.”

“Yes ma'am.”

“haha, perfect!” She smiled “try not to piss off that little bridge guarding troll,” she cackled before leaving my chambers quickly with a slam of my door.

I couldn't help but snort in response, she was surely brave, or had a death wish, she must be the only person able to insult Captain Levi without certain death.

“right,” I mumbled remembering the task at hand, I must deliver his tea soon or he may punish me in his own way. Tying up my hair that was far too long to be cooking with, I allowed it to swish from shoulder to shoulder as I bounced along to the kitchen. “put the water in the kettle hmmmhmhm,” I hummed “and place it on the stove,” I turned on the gas next to a lit match to light the ring, placing the kettle on top.

I hummed to force down the bubbling excitement and anxiety inside of me “jasmine, jasmine,” I rifled through the various boxes of tea in search of the desired one. The Captain sure does enjoy his tea. I feel I was chosen for this task for my gentle nature, I always did as told and wouldn't dare talk back to the captain, even when assigned extra jobs. Somehow, that didn't make me happy. Am I complicit in life? I think people think they can walk all over me. I have emotions sure, just like everyone else, I just am dedicated to the larger goal of serving my country.

“eeeeeeee!”

“ah the kettle!” I ran over to it, “okay tea, 2 spoons per person, but the Captain likes his tea strong so 3 teaspoons of tea, let it brew for 5 minutes,” I repeated my mothers instructions aloud as I slowly tidied up and pulled out a cup from the cupboard, washing it once more not wanting to have to redo the whole process because of a speck of dirt. Humming I fumbled around the kitchen, grabbing a tray.

Suddenly, I squealed and instinctively grabbed the hand on my shoulder twisting it as I turned around, although I paled as I saw the face of the person or should I say man I was attacking.

“Jesus, easy there cadet,” he grabbed my arm and easily removed it once I had relaxed, placing it by my side.

“Commander Erwin, forgive me, I'm so sorry, I'm really sorry, I hadn't meant to... I didn't want to...I'm sorry,” I rambled as he chuckled.

“I'll let this one slide, hey, at least we know you're reactions aren't getting slow,” his eyes creased at the edges as I teared up in embarrassment.

“I'm sorry Commander Erwin.”

“that's a strong grip you have, at least I know Captain Levi has been teaching you well,” he smiled, ignoring my profuse apologies.

“I-I was just preparing tea for the Captain,” I murmured as I placed the tray on the table along with the cup, strainer and teapot.

“ah, I see, The Captain has always taken a liking to you.”

“huh?” I exclaimed, wondering if I had heard him correctly. He did not repeat himself nor did he appear especially pleased as he turned,

“as you were,” and walked away down the hall.

what the hell was that strange encounter? I can't possibly figure out any moment of it. What strange people soldiers are it seems. Now even more nervous, I shakily carried the tray of tea down the hall, spying the back of Erwin's head further along.

“You can do this, don't be nervous, don't spill it. Phew,” I mumbled as I rapped on the door 3 times which swung open to reveal one, extremely angry looking Captain Levi. He eyed me as if to ask what the hell I was doing there but he softened a little when he saw the tray I carried precariously.

“well come in before you drop it brat.”

“thank you sir,” I nodded as I entered his room, it smelled of tea and bleach. He lead me to his bed as he sat himself on the edge, I placed the tray on the small table, standing to attention. He eyed me slowly before commanding,

“pour it for me,” resting his chin on his hand as he watched me shakily pour the piping hot tea through the strainer placing it down and standing up again to face him. “pass me the cup,” once more I carried out his instructions, passing the tea to him feeling his fingers brush mine as he carefully took the hot cup from me. “say, what are you always thinking in there” he questioned “your silence is unnerving.”

“I'm sorry Captain, what would you like me to say?”

“Anything Brat, anything interesting,” he sighed placing his head in his hand, exasperated.

“Um, well if you don't mind me saying...” I gulped “ Comander Erwin is quite... strange” he laughed, a genuine laugh as he sipped his tea.

“Oh really, do you think you should be talking this way about your commander?” I shook my head “go on, shut the door and sit down, I feel like company today.”

I wondered why, if he wanted company, he had chosen objectively the quietest cadet in the squadron. Yet I still shut the door, sitting cross legged on the floor in front of him, explaining the encounter I had had with him earlier. “Oh I see,” he sipped his tea, “at least you remembered your training,” he chuckled. “I know Erwin is mistakable for a titan, being the size of a fucking tree, but please try not to get confused.”

I giggled along with his chuckle as he drank his tea. I eyed the cup, I suppose a little to longingly as he asked me “do you want some? There's plenty in the pot, just get yourself a cup.”

“I-I” I was a little stunned for words but I decided to be bold “Yes please Captain.”

“go on then,” he stated in a monotone “and call me Levi when we are informal like this, it makes me feel even older with you calling me sir all the time,” he moaned as I left to fetch a cup. When I returned he was sitting cross legged on the bed, savouring the taste of the hot tea with his eyes closed.

“Levi,” I let his name stay on my lips as I breathed out the words. His eyes snapped open to gaze coolly at me.

“ah, she returns,”

I smiled, moving to pour myself a cup before settling myself down on his floor again.

“Go on, taste it, it's the finest tea around, you wont find better here within the walls.” He enthused, looking as if he would force the tea down my throat if he could. Inhaling the scent I sighed before bringing the cup to my lips. The taste was warm and comforting, but most of all the delicate taste of the jasmine flower was heaven on my tongue,

“oh wow,” I sighed, my eyes meeting his. His eyes bore into mine.

“See, exquisite isn't it?” He murmured “better than anything those posh wall rose worshippers could ever get a hold of.”

“It makes me feel like I'm some princess being brought such fancy food, I'm used to crackers,” I smiled.

“Well captaincy has its perks, you never know, maybe one day you'll reach that level.” my eyes grew wide, such a complement was unexpected.

“You think?” I asked excitedly.

“Tch, there's no point you asking me, you've got to be confident in yourself. Don't rely on others Y/N.”

“Yes sir.. I mean Levi,” he smiled sipping his tea, watching me squirm. “Say, Levi, may I speak unprofessionally?”

“Tch, brat, what the hell did you think we were doing before?”

“Well, you see, I'm concerned...”

“oh?” one thin eyebrow arched.

“Often, lately, you seem... well, sad” I paused “is there anything I could do?” He blushed lightly, obviously not used to being cared for.

“And just how do you think you are equipped to be my therapist Y/N?” He seethed, obviously a nerve had been touched.

“I'm sorry only, I could listen, I often listen to peoples problems, you look like you could use someone to talk to.”

He was annoyed again as he sipped his tea and uncrossed his legs, pulling the cravat from his neck and brusquely folding it before getting up to place it on the back of his chair. He stood like a caged animal, unsure of if he should run or attack, never turning to face me. Placing my tea down on the floor I stood and slowly but surely stepped towards him.

“Levi,” I called, something in me urging me, telling me he needed someone more than I was afraid to be rejected. “tell me, I'll listen...” Placing my hand on his shoulder he tensed “I care,” he shuffled and sniffed a little “I still respect you as my Captain. You of all people should know I would always have the utmost respect for my superiors.” His shoulders shook and I realised he must be crying. Sobs racked through his body and I wrapped my arms around his powerful back, he turned to face me, finally.

“I can't be superhuman, I can't do this, I can't save everyone,” he exclaimed, pulling at his hair “I couldn't save them,” I placed my hands on his face staring into his eyes.

“No-one can, Levi, all you can do is your best and that's what you do. Every time you kill a titan or lead the troops, you take on a heavy burden no man should bear.” His tears flowed freely as I wrapped my arms around his body he responded wrapping me up in his arms.

“Forgive me for showing you this weakness,” he mumbled into my shoulder as he squeezed my soft frame, inhaling my scent of soap as we stood embracing for an innumerable amount of time, both enjoying the loving contact of another person. “I wish they were all here, I wish I could apologize.”

“what for?” I questioned “they knew the risks of the corps when they joined, that doesn't make the loss any less sad, only... it's not your fault Levi.” Slowly, he unwound his arms and pulled away from me.

“I like the way you say my name... like you enjoy it,” he leant in his hand on my cheek, caressing the skin lightly “do you?” I nodded, unable to lie in his presence. He leant in further “say it again,” he commanded.

“Levi,” I breathed onto his lips as they slowly closed the gap between us both. It was a welcomed warmth that made me gasp. Much like the jasmine tea it was an exquisite yet comforting feeling to have him move his lips against my own, encouraging me to do the same. Leaning up I ran my hands over his undercut before tangling them in the soft locks of hair there. He groaned a little, kissing me more enthusiastically now, making my knees wobble, almost unable to hold myself up, however he snaked an arm around my waist anchoring me to him before nipping at my bottom lip. “Levi,” I mumbled, feeling heat travel through my body like a fire and he pressed his crotch to mine, our bodies now flush together I was able to feel the beginnings of his excitement. He retreated to look me in the eye as his fingers danced along my reddened lips. His eyes searched mine for consent to continue “I wont tell,” I said, already voicing his thoughts.

“hmm, you are much more insubordinate than you seem,” he chuckled

“how can I be?” I questioned, eyes sparkling with amusement “I'm following my Captain's orders.”

A smile reached his eyes as he pulled on my chin to open my mouth before placing his own on mine, snaking his tongue inside. The foreign feeling made me moan and crumble under his touch. He was so warm against me, the muscle licked at the roof of my mouth and entangled with my own. Kissing him felt so natural I was only surprised I hadn't done it sooner, but I could hardly take his teasing. He detached his mouth from mine and latched onto my jaw, kissing and sucking to my ear, nibbling and biting and sucking along every section of my neck. “please Levi, I can't take it” I whimpered, unsure from where this confidence had emerged inside of myself as I ran my hands along his back.

“hmm, for a virgin you are quite needy,” he paused “you are a virgin aren't you?" I blushed, not having expected him to be so crude.

“yes,” I bowed my head in embarrassment.

“Good, none of those bastards would fuck you properly anyway,” he bit down “would you like me to fuck you?” He asked gruffly “would you like to be fucked by your own Captain?” I nodded shamefully “how long have you wanted it? Did you touch yourself thinking about me?” I nodded again making him chortle “oh my, I had you all wrong Miss innocent,” he laughed amazedly making me shrink back and turn away from him. “hey, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.”

“Don't tease me” I mumbled angrily “And you're the one stood here with your tongue down the throat of your own subordinate!” I quipped.

"it seems we deserve each other then” he spoke softly “ah, I can't do this though” he pecked my lips despite himself then again and again walking backwards towards the bed.

“Mind the tea!” I exclaimed worriedly as he looked over my shoulder spying it. He pushed me down slowly onto the bed.

“Tell me to stop,” he spoke looking into my eyes as he undid the button on my trousers, tantalizingly slowly pulling down the fly.

“Don't stop, please, don't ever stop,” my fingers bunched in the bedding as he, as if enslaved, bent his head dutifully to my thigh where he proceeded to kiss and nibble through the fabric of the thin uniform trousers.

“lift your hips,” he slid the trousers from my lower half, maintaining eye contact he slid them lovingly from my legs, savouring them much like he had been the tea, taking his time to kiss and touch everywhere. He was obviously a man well practised in these rituals, the thought ever so slightly saddened me. Once he had removed them and my socks he lifted my thigh up above his shoulder, kissing along the flesh.

“you're beautiful, you know, all the cadets stare at you...sometimes even captains and commanders,” I blushed brightly now and covered my face with my hands, this was all too embarrassing. With this he stopped his ministrations and reached up to uncover my face “don't look away, watch me touch you.” He was always so straight forward, it drove me mad in the best of ways.

Leaning down again, he breathed onto my sex, the heat making me wetter, it certainly did not help when he began to kiss against my clitoris through my underwear, making out with my pussy lips as sensually as he had done with my mouth

“ah!” I drawled immediately, gripping onto his hair once more. This was so dirty and wrong, having my superior kneeling in front of me, eating me out, but how could I deny those slender fingers that tickled my stomach and brushed the laced edges of my underwear or the soft lips, warm tongue, that caressed me tenderly and lovingly, even if it was only an illusion. I couldn't help but moan as my dream came true in front of my eyes.

“Hey, you still there?” he murmured against me making me whimper.

“Yes, it's just,” I paused to collect my thoughts, screwing my eyes shut to block out the sensual image of the Captain so dishevelled, red lips swollen.

“what?” He breathed, palms kneading my thighs.

“it's too much, I feel like I'm going to explode!” He snorted at my bold claim “I mean, not like that.. well maybe, uh,” I stammered, shamefully hiding my face once more.

“Hmm please do Y/N,” he said as he carefully began to pull down my panties, the cold immediately hitting me making me suddenly feel very bare and vulnerable. He kissed at my stomach as he pried open my legs “watch me,” with those words he eyed my exposed pussy mumbling “beautiful,” before leaning in to taste. He licked a long stripe up my lips before spreading them with his fingers making me almost cum on the spot.

“Levi,” I gasped as he continued to tenderly tongue my sex before slowly inserting a finger. “Oh god, oh god, don't stop please, ah,” I tried to clamp my legs shut but he wouldn't let me, continuing to finger me and suck at my clitoris.

He then, to top it off, curled his tongue into my opening, making me squirm and scream quietly, attempting, feebly, to not awake the other soldiers “Levi, Levi, Levi, I'm going to... I can't, I'm cumming aaaahhhh!” I rode out my orgasm against his tongue that was pumping into me, fucking me as I clenched, and even more humiliatingly, squirted. Luckily, he had pulled away at least a little but he held me down as he watched the clear streams of liquid squeezed out of my body, clearly fascinated by the whole ordeal.

“huh, I guess you really meant it,” he mused, dipping his fingers into me before sucking them clean, moaning around them whilst he palmed himself a little.

“Captain, let me suck you off.”

He raised his eyebrows, “well isn't that a line out of a wet dream,” he commented as he quickly shed his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt. Though his cool words didn't quite match his clearly flustered outward demeanour.

I followed his lead, albeit slower than him, feeling a little silly sitting there in only a shirt and jacket. When it came to removing my bra he knelt beside me on the bed, kissing my lips as he unhooked it himself, letting the thing drop from my shoulders with wide eyes to finally reveal my naked form.

“Fuck, you're gorgeous,” he ran his fingers through his hair as if distressed before making the decision to run his hands over my body, groping at my breasts before latching on to a nipple, toying with the other in his fingers

“ah, Levi, isn't it y-your turn?”

"I want to fucking kiss you everywhere,” he growled, blatantly ignoring me in favour of leaving love bites in his wake, dark purple and littered over both of my breasts. As I saw he had completely lost control, I reached down to his cock, running lightly over his trousers with my fingertips. He bit his lip and growled.

“Okay then, have your wish, suck off your captain and that is an order.”

“Yes sir,” I spoke darkly, a slave to his words and as he laid back, I straddled his waist, unbuttoning and unzipping his trousers with slight urgency. Pulling them down, he kicked them off his legs and I did the same with his boxers, placing them all in a pile on the floor making him huff in agitation, but the promise of my lips wrapped around his cock left him unable to move.

He guided me, showing me how to move my hands against his manhood. It was velvety soft and I felt honoured with this task to see Captain Levi in such an exposed state, only following his instincts. I became bolder, stroking his balls and then running my fingers over the tip before licking the head a little like an ice lolly. “hmmm,” he growled grabbing my hair

“let me in, please,” he pleaded with me, sweat sticking his hair to his forehead as he panted desperately, leaning up on his elbows to watch me. Since I knew it's what he wanted I attempted to accommodate his large size into my mouth. and when I did, I felt stuffed full, unable to make any intelligible sounds.

“shit,” he exclaimed whilst I tugged him off where my mouth couldn't reach, moving my mouth up and down, although, eventually just letting him get up to his knees and fuck my mouth.

He went in a little deeper each time and I clawed at his hips, moaning at the lewd sounds coming from us both. “say my name now, say it!”

“Leeeveiihmph,” you mumbled around his dick.

“Oh fuck,” he contorted forward, leaning over me now, clearly coming undone soon. “Oh god again, say it again. Say it with your mouth stuffed full of my fucking cock.”

“Levi!” Tears streamed from my eyes “Levi!” I tried to please him as he fucked my face faster and I fondled his balls.

“Shit, fuck, your mouth is so good, I'm coming,” he pulled out of my mouth making me choke and gag, exhausted.

“come inside, please Levi,” I whispered hoarsely which seemed to snap something inside him because he slammed back into me and I watched his face screw up, eyes shut as creamy hot liquid shot down my throat.

I licked and sucked him clean until he softened and I pulled away. He surprisingly lent down to kiss my lips softly, a silent thank you, although more than that as he continued to kiss me. He's so passionate, I thought as he kept kissing my lips, nipping and sucking at my lower, pulling me on top of him.

“Do you want me to be your first?” he asked seriously “a 35 year old man, do you want to not have this to give to the one you love?”

“Yes,” I didn't even have to think about it “if you're waiting for me to stop you, rest assured it's the last thing I want. Life is too short to wait.”

“I want you so many ways,” he murmured

“have me, any way you like, I've always wanted this,”

“me too,” this revelation surprised me and he could clearly see that on my face.

“You couldn't see me looking at you in training?” I shook my head “didn't notice me touch you, brush up against you? Question why I'd always request you in my quarters?” I shook my head again “Jesus Christ what else don't you notice? A horse and cart coming head on?” he exclaimed clearly just as shocked as me.

“I thought it was all in my head, I thought you hated me,” I spoke loudly

“fuck me. Look I don't know what this is but clearly we are attracted to one another. It's always been there,” I silently agreed, knowing now the heat of my presence must have been driving him insane as much as he had me.

“I don't want anyone else, I want you any way you'd have me.” I think I love you. I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud, hopefully he could read the intensity of my passion through my eyes. I bent over, my ass in the air and chest against his. “So have me Levi, please.”

“Oh you really want this don't you. Well I can't deny you life's simple pleasures...” he was half hard again and jerked himself off underneath me.

“This is going to hurt, lay down Y/N," I did so beside him, staring into his eyes as he climbed on top of my body, pressing the tip of his manhood to my entrance, slowly pushing inside making me open my mouth and gasp, quickly grabbing his shoulders.

“ow ow ow, stop!” he did so quickly and looked down at my pained face

“I'm sorry sweetheart, I'm so sorry,” his words melted my heart in a way I hadn't expected and he brushed the hair out of my face to kiss my lips, I leaned up to catch his before he pulled away but what I hadn't expected was for him to ram himself into me during that sweet kiss making me cry out in pain, but it wasn't too much, I felt like I could take it.

“Don't move,” I barely huffed out, my hands on my stomach, as though I might be able to feel him poking through. I felt so full, full of him, I wished it would never end.

“I'm sorry, It's easier if your relaxed, I wanted to distract you.” he fumbled, clearly regretting his decision “I'll stop, we can do this another time, you're not ready.”

“No!” I grabbed his shoulders to stop him, “I told you, not to ever stop. Fuck me Captain Levi.”

he kissed my lips heatedly as he pulled out smoothly, right to the tip before slowly guiding himself back inside to the warm heat of my entrance.

“Mmmm” I hummed, head lulling back in pleasure as he grunted lowly. He continued to stroke me inside slowly and carefully, driving me crazy “heh, Levi,” I panted, nails digging into his back for purchase “mm, harder,” that was all the conformation he needed before he began losing himself like a wild animal, sucking at my neck and biting hard as if he wanted to consume all of me.

“Levi, Levi, Levi” I chanted looking into his grey eyes “it's so deep ah harder please, don't stop,” The headboard began to slam with our movements, the tray of tea wobbling precariously a top his small dresser table.

“Fuck you're so tight, and so goddamn sensitive,” he grabbed my wrists in one hand whilst pinning them to the bed as he continued to chase his orgasm as well as my own. Fucking me slowly and deeply, hearing the smack of skin against skin each time we rejoined, eyes glued on the spot where he disappeared into mw, fascinated and turned on just as much as I was to watch his own large cock disappear inside of me.

“Levi,” I whispered, catching his attention and, in a moment of madness I spoke the words “put your hands around my neck.” I don't know why I wanted it so badly at the time but all I remember is that it felt fucking good.

His eyes darkened and he slammed into me, bringing his hands away from my wrists and onto my delicate, porcelain throat. His long fingers wrapped around tightly, his eyes staring into my lust filled ones questioningly. “Do it.”

And so he did, wrapping them tighter he began to squeeze making my eyes roll into the back of my head at the immense pleasure of it all and my back arched, toes curled, I was coming. I clenched so tightly around his cock that he stopped thrusting and just shivered, releasing my neck as I proclaimed his name to the empty room.

“That's it let them know who made you cum so hard,” he spoke between thrusts, before pistoning into me quickly once again, trying to keep me in one place in the bed before pulling out.

“No, cum inside, please, Levi,”

“Shit, my name's never going to sound the same on your lips,” he mumbled, sliding sinfully back inside your wet cavern. “This is what you want hmm? You're filthy,” he thrust quickly, bruising my hips where he held before shouting “fuck, Y/N”- just in case any other soldiers hadn't been woken up already- loudly into the dark, shooting his hot seed inside almost making me cum a third time.

I lay in a dazed state as he collapsed onto me, his head buried in the crook of my neck as I rubbed up and down his undercut. Slowly he pulled out making me wince

“Shit, now we really are sinners,” he chuckled half-heartedly, guilt tainting his tone.

“Stay with me,” I pleaded and he didn't bother to protest, and that's how we stayed, laying in one another's arms until the sun rose the next day.

#levi ackerman #attack on titan #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman smut #levi ackerman fluff #shy reader #levi ackerman fanfiction #attack on titan fandom #attack on titan fanfiction

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fictionfixations · 2 months

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LMAO ZEN (doesnt it happen for everyones routes though? i havent done like another story yet tho)

anyway before i get into talking about jumin (as the route im on rn) i wanted to wonder

yknow how certain things happen but only on someones route?

like zen has the echo girl thing, idk what yoosung has i forgor but i think jaehee had that one project??? that got her interested in like coffee stuff? jumin has the arranged marriage?? and seven has like. well. the hacker stuff.

but it never gets mentioned on someone elses route ? i dont think? i feel like itd be more cooler if it was all happening at once as like little references (but either something they can handle or cant handle outside of the route. just like maybe a vague mention of trouble to interest the player in that route, while still making sense from like a timeline standpoint???)

like. people doing things but its not because youre the one pushing it towards that. i like that more. and im curious how chaotic itd be

anyway

JUMIN. (disclaimer: I dont like him)

WARNING i start venting in this post. theres only one mention of a triggering thing (which is warned before the actual vent part but i dont want to put here to bring the mood down more cause in all honesty im over it. im just kind of projecting.)

i think ive said before how i can understand the liking of possessive partners

but. okay maybe its just that i dont like jumin as much as the others but. this is kinda way too much. or maybe its that i value my own independence a whole lot or maybe its because i really dont like the thing with his cat (and i LIKE cats. so giving me a character who likes cats and making me not like them??? ahgeiudhf)

like 'dont leave or ill go insane and make your face known everywhere so i can find you again' like the fuck no w h y CAN I LEAVE

I want to leave i dont care if i get the bad ending get me out of here 😭 (actually i think the bad ending mightve been if we encouraged being compared to like his cat and like. was willing to stay forever.)

e w NO like CHILL

maybe. im. being too extreme. and im just too on edge. but like. can you not. i am not your property?? i am not an object??

now LISTEN i understand marking. like like yknow biting and so and so as like a claim over your partner. and now that? thats hot and i like that. but thats ONLY for the bedroom there comes a point where too much of a thing is a bad thing

ALSO we've known each other how many days has it been. eight?? WE've known each other EIGHT days dont be horny bonk

g o o d . this is good.

STOP. dont talk like you know whats best for a person. like its some thing that'll happen, not a what if.

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. now if he was being more weird id say go home but hes. OKAY. ish. now. like hes trying. and anyway getting him to not do it takes time. and also this is a game of romance fantasies where creepy shit gets played off as kinky or something. (not a jab towards mysme its just the kind of thing its trying to do which can result in uncomfortable parts if you take off your rose-tinted glasses of wOAH ROmANCE. its expected since ppl think certain things are hot when in reality its kind of very not that great)

…CAN I GO HOME???? like BRUH im not gonna accept you just cause you do so and so

why does this feel like a 'nice guy'. maybe this is my bad because this is making me really want to leave buth gdiuhfuih

trigger warning. i vent. mention of kermit sewer slide but nothing actual.

ive been pushing the 'stay here to help jumin feel more calm' but. i do also need to prioritize my own well being and my well being is not happy here rn 😭 (on a serious note though while its important to be there for your partner, its NOT a good thing to give everything to make sure your partners okay, because y'all are equals and as you help them stand they need to help you stand too or you'll collapse under all that and it really wont be a good time. im telling you its very draining. and why i promote the idea of get your shit together before you get with someone because there comes a point where you can be too dependent on your partner which isnt good for you or for them [and they can feel hesitant to express their feelings because they dont want to hurt you, or hesitant to do anything too stressful because theyre like that support pillar for them, and they dont want to do anything that causes otherwise because they dont want their partner to get hurt. it can also mean they go along with what the other wants even if they dont really want to because they dont want to hurt them. am i projecting? ithink im projecting. cause like. ive been there. and honestly i think it kind of fucked me up cause there was like a power imbalance in that one was significantly more fragile and vulnerable then the other, which made me feel like i should be going along with it because i didnt want them to be hurt when they didnt have anyone else they could rely on but me. [i tried to get them to make more friends cause relying on a single person is very unhealthy but no dice] but that also meant that they didnt respect my boundaries or respect me when i say no and instead just gave off excuses to make me change my mind or made me feel like i had to do what they wanted or theyd deliberately hurt themself. so.. it was a lot. anyway it really fucked me up cause i felt like i was in the wrong for not going along with it. blah blah blah. we split. i genuinely have no idea if it was true or not but they'd started saying things to make me feel bad and just not a fun time at all. they were probably in a really dark time in their life but im gonna be honest. i dont know in what scenario its okay to go 'im gonna kermit sewer slide if you dont [blah blah blah]'. so yknow. and this is not really the same but it still feels the same in walking all over boundaries and lines and is especially why i do not like this character a bit. yay trauma.])

i might actually get a bad ending because i. really dont like this.

#mysme #mystic messenger #thoughts #vent tw #cw vent #personal vent #i kind of got off topic #haha oops #mysme jumin

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cdd-systems-support · 2 months

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Hello! Im not sure if this is the right place to ask so feel free to ignore this ask if not. But i was wondering if i could get some information on alter nationality? Just not quite sure where to look. Because i as an alter somehow ended up different to the body, wont say what country because its odd, and i just cant understand how this happens or how to go about this. I try not to glorify or appropriate, but i still just feel weird being the way i am, it feels weird living in a country that doesnt feel like mine and weird to say i belong somewhere else. Any info would help, and sorry for this being an odd question

hi! sorry, can't find any scientific stuff abt alter race / ethnicity, so may only tell abt community stuff.

it's known to have alters present different from body in many ways. it's known to have alters who look like different race / ethnicity than body. so, it happens.

why it happens? can't say for sure but some assumptions:

introjection. you may introject from any sourse, and this sourse may belong to different race / ethnicity than your body.

trauma representation. like, if you have trauma connected with belonging to your race / ethnicity / birth country, you may feel distant from it. or if you're mixed and have trauma connected with family parts of different races / ethnicities. or if you were deprived of your culture. or something else traumatic / stressful / identity disrupting connected to race / ethnicity.

don't know why you as alter are like this. only you may research and understand this (but please don't pressure yourself in any researches, especially trauma digging. it may be unsafe if you're not in safe place or not ready to process it). but it's possible, it happens with many systems.

what to do with it? as far as know, the most reasonable idea is "alter may present anyways in innerworld, but don't claim you belong to culture you don't belong bodily and have experience you don't have bodily." like. don't use / try to reclaim slurs towards race / ethnicity you don't belong bodily. don't invade spaces for people of race / ethnicity you don't belong bodily (if spaces allows only people of certain race / ethnicity). don't claim this alter is actually this race / ethnicity. don't practice closed practices of culture you don't belong bodily (if you are not allowed by someone of this culture bodily). etc.

because if you don't belong bodily to certain race / ethnicity, you can't know what it is to be them. you haven't been raised in their culture (or deprived from culture but still raised by people who were traumatized by deprivation from their culture). you haven't faced discrimination towards this race / ethnicity. race / ethnicity is mixture of physical appearance, cultural stuff, social stuff, etc. this experience may be understood only from inside. so you can't accurately replay it in your head. and even if could, you wouldn't be treated same because physical appearance, accents, dialects, etc. [not negative, just explanation].

you may still learn abt different culture respectfully. you may do open things from this culture if you wanna.

but am not really good in understanding things abt race / ethnicity (just listen to others and try to be respectful) so am not expert / someone really advanced in these topics. so you may wanna ask someone else for better explanations.

#system community #cdd community #osddid community #systempunk #syspunk #wild rose #system questions #alter ethnicity #alter race #osddid #did #osdd #cdd #cdd alter #osddid alter #anti endo #endos dni #endos do not interact

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bongo-ghoul · 1 year

Text

Sing to me

Swiss and phantom

This is written on whim and not betad or edited

I have no idea how many words there are

Phantom using they/them

Swiss using he/him (in this one)

Warnings, some sensory overload

Theres most definitely spelling errors and run ons

Swiss was very used to phantom coming to him when in need of a pick-me-up hug or some kind words or even just some silent company, he had come to the conclusion that its cause hes a multi ghoul and phantom is in need of quintessence used on them, and while swiss' small bit of quintessence was a bonding point it for certain was nowhere near why they went to him.

Phantom had woken up today with a dull feeling in their head, not a headache but a full and numbing sensation that resides along sound of any kind, starting off the day with simple turning on their music only to turn it off immediately because it made that strange numbness grow to swallow their hearing almost entirely.

While not a new sensation it was however new in their topside body, the way it fills their head making everything feel heavy and if not acknowledged very well could lead to an eventual headache or migraine.

Continuing on with their day they still payed that full feeling in the head no mind, just breathe, calm the heart and itll stop... right?, it being the heartbeat sound pulsing through their ears, being able to turn off the sound themself helped alleviate the curious situation temporarily but while others go about their absent mindedly noisy days the heartbeat eventually will shift from a beating pulse to a low thrumming rolling sound, their head felt heavier as it continued like its filled with sand.

With a mind repleated of sand, the singing dunes in their head were sensitive to the storm in sounds today and it was becoming overwhelming, choking them and drying their throat stopping them from crying out as the mental sand fills their vocal chords and stops any sound from adding to the world around.

when sound becomes all consuming and than disabling to the senses it will completely disorient a person or ghoul making functioning almost impossible, especially when its a normally working sense and than its use in survival is ripped away leaving a raw wound left open from where sand had turnd to glass and ripped though the signals to the vocal chords making a voice so desperate now silent so not to disturb the percussion in their ears.

The second sign was that light left a burning, dizzying, nauseating feeling in their body, the textures of things felt like they were enhanced tenfold sleep and taste were gagworthy, sickening.

Every sense lit ablaze but only one causing a full fire in sensations and it just so happens to be the sound they rely on the most, its disorienting, a bat without its echo location is nothing but an accident waiting to happen, a wrong turn, three doors on the left and two doors at the end of the hall, thankfully phantom doesn't need to follow sound or harmony to know where to find safety.

Stumbling into the rehearsal room ears coverd and eyes squinted teeth bared in a grimacing disposition, swiss drops all sound, setting his acoustic guitar down quickly almost immediately the grimace drops and their eyes open once more, hes seen this with rain and mountain before, he knows what to do.

Grabbing a spare pair of fully noise canceling eardefenders putting them over phantoms poor ears, turning on full silence mode theres nothing making its way into the auditory cortex of tommys head. Phantom crashes chest to chest into a desperate safe keeping hug with swiss, they cant hear him but swiss is speaking small nothings, the vibrations, physical sensation of a bats point of visibility, sensation of a spiders web being disturbed, silent sight.

Small tendrils of quintessence making their way from swiss' hands into and up the spinal cord and tommy can feel it, it wont work, their mind will just feast and consume it, ready to use on another, but instead they place a gentle hand on their own throat to make sure theyre actually speaking "stop"

And swiss does, all he wanted to do was fix quickly the way everyone else had asked when a full quintessence was preoccupied but he had jumped into this role without knowing what was actually needed.

Phantom places one hands carefully over swiss' larynx on the thyroid cartilage while keeping a hand on their own "speak" tommy mumbles out only to feel vibrations in return

Vibrations lighting sensation in the mind, theres something so surreal about feeling what you can see or hear, the way things move vibrate and shift, a spider aware of its web as an extention of itself through vibrations phantom aware of sound through vibrations and movement of the thyroid cartilage and the shape of swiss' lips, silent sound.

"Sing to me" it comes out as a plead but they had no idea; swiss taking a moment to process the request he smiles, taking tommys hand thats on their own neck and adjusting it so theres onto two fingers extended and moving it to lightly press to his lips.

Keeping his eyes on phantoms face swiss starts singing, nothing crazy just a calm simple song, one hes heard tommy listen to before and while they cant exactly tell what the words are the vibrations however a calm a sway through tides changing, the phases of the moon in increments and the sparks of stars in the sky, it sounded like nothing but safety when their hands played the roles of hearing in a different way.

#swiss x phantom #swiss ghoul #swiss multi ghoul #phantom ghoul #quintessence ghoul #phantom quintessence #ghost ghouls #the band ghost fanfiction #the band ghost #bongo ghoul on a whim #bongo writes🤠

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