#by just writing the whole thing off and trying to just not touch the topic which just makes things worse

[yaminerua]

i keep on thinking of chibita starting to write love letters to karamatsu - partly because he finds writing his feelings out anonymously helps him channel all that emotional energy that’s started to build up because having nowhere to vent it is beginning to drive him nuts.

So he writes his feelings out, in a way that’s honest but vague enough for Karamatsu not to be able to figure out it’s from him if he were to find it. And he doesn’t intend initially for him to read it at all at first. But then he thinks it would potentially give Karamatsu an edge over his brothers. Some kind of victory. An encouragement of sorts. And then before he can think too deeply on all the ways this could go horribly wrong, he sends it in the mail, not daring to run the risk of being caught sending it personally.

And on the morning that it arrives, Jyushimatsu picks it up, along with the rest of the mail. He shuffles through it all as he heads back through the house, seeing that it’s mostly just the usual stuff.. a random magazine, more of Choromatsu’s idol fan-club stuff, boring-looking letters for the parents...and... hmm?? A letter? For Karamatsu? That’s new.

And like... remember how in the episode with Hatabou’s birthday Jyushi could tell the invitation was from Hatabou because it smelled like Hatabou? I figure Jyushi at this point would already know it’s from Chibita because it smells like him.

He joins the others and loudly declares that there’s a letter for Karamatsu. This, of course, catches everyone’s attention. Somebody remarks “Yeah right, who would bother writing to Shittymatsu?”

Karamatsu, who was sort of sitting staring dramatically out the window as if that makes him look deep and thoughtful and mysterious, is now staring in disbelief at Jyushimatsu. He takes the letter from him and can feel everyone watching him out of the corner of their eyes as he curiously opens the envelope and takes out the little folded letter.

There’s silence as he reads through what’s written on it but the look on his face is rapidly evolving. He looks like he’s going to cry from joy and when he’s finally done he presses the letter to his chest and starts rambling about how some shy and surely beautiful angel has finally chosen to convey her feelings to him. His Karamatsu Girl has arrived at last.

And everyone’s like what the shit!? Osomatsu snatches the letter out of Kara’s hands and scans his gaze across what’s written there, his face contorting as he finds that it is indeed a love letter to karamatsu.

There follows a short period of the letter passing from brother to brother before it finally ends up in Jyushimatsu’s hands again. He’s got a peculiar look on his face as he sniffs the paper just to be sure he hadn’t got it wrong earlier. But no, it still smells like Chibita to him.

Karamatsu’s exasperated at this point. He would like the letter from his secret admirer safely back in his own hands now and stares beseechingly at Jyushi to hand it back to him. And Jyushi pauses, looks like he’s going to say something but then seems to change his mind and simply hands the letter back over with an innocent “Congratulations Karamatsu-niisan!”

Nothing more is said on the matter. The brothers go back to ignoring Karamatsu as best they can because his immense joy over this letter is already starting to get to them. But Ichi is more concerned with Jyushi’s peculiar behaviour. “You know who it’s from don’t you?” he asks him privately at one point.

And Jyushi thinks of telling him. But instead he just says he thought he did at first but was wrong. He doesn’t want to spoil Karamatsu’s joy. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. And maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t actually from Chibita after all..

Some time later though.. they’re all dining out at Chibita’s cart and oh boy Karamatsu is talking a lot tonight isn’t he? Waxing poetic about how sincere his anonymous angel’s confessions of love were and how he awaits the day they can meet face to face. And how he greatly wishes the sender had left him a means of contacting them.

Jyushi’s gaze is fixed on Chibita the entire time, who seems just a little bit awkward tonight. He’s definitely trying to change the subject and it’s just making Jyushimatsu more suspicious about whether his previous assumptions had been correct after all... and when they’re making to leave he hangs back a little, giving Chibita that owl-like stare of his for a few moments before Choromatsu calls for him to hurry up.

It unnerves him, but not any more than Jyushimatsu usually would.

So Chibita keeps writing the letters even after that first one, but after a while he starts to think it was a bad idea. Whenever Karamatsu comes by the cart all he seems to talk about is the latest letter, and how he wishes his shy admirer would allow him to speak with them. And it’s kind of heartbreaking. Because Chibita’s the one writing those letters and Karamatsu has no idea. But he’s certain things would not go well if he discovered the truth. Especially after the look Karamatsu gave him when he interrupted one of his rambles with a noticeably irritable ‘How do you even know it’s a Karamatsu Girl anyway?’ He’d gone so quiet after that which only served to suggest to him that the prospect of such a thing was preposterous.

So he resigns himself to it and just has to sit and endure this and try to decide whether or not he should stop writing them... This can’t go on forever after all.. It’s not even fair on Karamatsu... getting his hopes up only to never actually go beyond that.. To tease him with the promise of a love that he’ll never be allowed to meet with...

And idk I want Jyushi to have some sort of part in getting the confusions and gaps in the communication closed up.

Karamatsu is understandably miserable once the letters do stop. Chibita’s feeling no better... but it was for the best. And eventually, after seeing both sides wilting as this goes on and on, Jyushimatsu finally decides to tell Karamatsu about what he’s known for months now. Because anything is better than letting this atmosphere fester any longer. But Karamatsu doesn’t believe him, because why would Chibita do something like that? And Jyushimatsu doesn’t have an answer to that, he’ll just have to ask Chibita.

When he says this to Chibita himself tho, it causes Chibita to drop a plate in shock and just freeze up. And Karamatsu misreads the reaction like, ‘yeah, unbelievable right?”

And Chibita laughs awkwardly as he gathers up the broken pieces of the plate he dropped but it’s a laugh completely devoid of amusement...

There’s an anxious pulse that’s entered his system now and it just keeps going round and round until finally, he can stand it no longer. If Karamatsu’s going to keep talking about this it’s just going to drive him nuts. If he has to keep this a secret any longer he’s going to explode.... Karamatsu deserves to know the truth.. no matter what response the truth provokes...

So as Kara makes to leave to allow Chibita to close up for the night, Chibita halts him, shouting out so suddenly into the night air that it makes Kara jump.

And he comes clean with it. He confesses to the fact that he indeed was the one writing all those letters. That he thought it was a good idea and would maybe be good for Karamatsu and that he didn’t mean for it to wind up like this. It comes out all at once in a long emotional and frustrated ramble and through all of it Chibita cannot look Karamatsu in the eye, instead choosing to busy himself with hurriedly packing things away and keeping his gaze averted and at the end when he finally runs out of breath he stands there with his head bowed and bitter tears gathering at the corners of his eyes because dammit this is such a mess....

And Karamatsu is very quiet as he processes everything he’s just heard and when Chibita finally risks a glance at him his expression is completely unreadable.

He doesn’t wait to find out what his response is. In truth he feels ready to just throw himself down onto his futon at home and scream into his pillow for the rest of the night. Gaze turned to the ground he offers an awkward apology and pulls his cart off in the direction of home leaving Karamatsu still standing shell-shocked and staring after him... his mind still in the process of computing all this new information and what it means...

When he gets home he reads through all the letters again, refreshing his memory of everything that was written there and allowing those words to blend in with the knowledge that the hand that wrote them belonged to Chibita... and to figure out how he feels about that.

Did Chibita mean what he wrote in these? Were those words genuine? Or was it just like he’d said, just doing this to make Karamatsu feel better and give him an edge over his brothers?? That’s an important distinction... He finds he really wants to - needs to - know which is true. Did Chibita really feel those things? Or was he just writing things he thought Karamatsu would like to hear from someone else? Does Chibita... maybe… love him???

The mere thought quickens his heartbeat... it brings a strange fluttery feeling to his gut and a dryness to his mouth and causes a whole flood of other feelings to fill him up all at once - some of them oddly familiar... and he could almost kick himself for being so blind and never noticing them within himself before whenever he and Chibita had been in each other’s company. He was fond of him before, yes. But the more he thinks about this situation now, the more he realises that perhaps ‘fond’ is too weak a word to use...

And with that realisation, he also knows what he wants the outcome of this to be.. And it all depends on Chibita.

[jinhyun]

Omggggg

Lino and the "friends? Why are you looking at me like that?" prompt, where he asks reader what they are, and is finally frustrated (and whipped) enough to come clean about his feelings, after some time in their fwb/situationship, or wtv they had going on

Like some angsty (or maybe funny?) thing, with a happy ending obviously, it's all up to you if it's something you're interested in writing :)

Love your works, hope you're doing great love!!

"What are we?"

"Friends?" you answered in a heartbeat.

And maybe your answer had come just a little too fast for his liking; like you were too fucking sure of the fact that the two of you were just friends.

Not even the way your head had tilted as you spoke, or how your tone had come out as more of a questioning one, was enough to convince him you were not entirely sure of your answer either.

Minho remained silent, staring at you intensely enough to let you know with his eyes alone that he was not pleased at all.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" you asked, voice almost like a whisper.

He shrugged, taking his eyes off you and focusing on the door instead — the locked doorknob only seeming oh-so-ironic by then.

"Minho?" you pushed it, following his eyes and growing nervous at the sight of the cynical smile curving up his mouth.

"It's just funny, I guess" he finally replied, eyes fixing back on you. "I'm pretty sure friends don't lock themselves in the bathroom just so they can make out while all their friends are downstairs. I guess I got it all wrong".

"Stop it," you mumbled, grabbing his wrist when he tried to reach for the doorknob. "Are you really mad right now?"

"Should I not?" he raised a questioning eyebrow.

"I don't know, I..." you took a deep breath, not understanding how it all went wrong so fast. "I thought this is what you wanted? We were good like this? No strings attached?"

"Maybe at first, but things have changed now" he stated, looking into your eyes for some kind of confirmation. "Am I really the only one who feels that everything's changed between us?"

He wasn't. So, you let him know by lowering your head.

It had all started with a drunken kiss that later turned into more, but neither of you were stupid enough not to realise that the alcohol intoxicating your systems had only given you the little push you needed to do what you both had wanted to for a good while by then.

So, the next time it happened, neither of you needed to use alcohol as an excuse. And after that it just kept happening — over and over, like it was the most natural of things between you two.

You had never sat down to discuss the grounds of whatever this new dynamic of yours was. You were just friends who enjoyed the intimacy of each other's bodies, and you were okay with it so far. Your friendship didn't have to change because of it.

But it did.

Before you could even tell, it did; and you both were left feeling like the kisses you shared and the touches that made you come undone in a matter of minutes, meant something deeper than just two friends having fun together.

It was unspoken, but there had been a switch in your relationship; and although neither of you had been brave enough to bring it up —until now—, you both had welcomed it with open arms.

"Are we really just friends?" He asked.

You laughed under your breath, weakly. Still too stunned by the sudden question.

"What's so funny?" He frowned.

"Nothing," you shook your head, looking up to meet his eyes. "I just, never thought you'd care about labels".

"Well, obviously I'd care when Chan is trying to set you up with one of his friends".

That's when it hit you, why he had dragged you upstairs only a couple of minutes after the whole 'dating' topic was discussed — crashing his mouth against yours the moment the door was closed and cornering you against the sink, where he would later sit you down on.

Most importantly, however, it hit you why the question that was looking to define your relationship had so smoothly ran past his lips.

Smiling, you took a hold of his wrists, pulling him closer and placing them on your waist, before your arms snaked around his neck.

"So this is just you wanting to have some kind of claim on me?"

"I wouldn't call it a claim on you," he disagreed, softly caressing your sides with his thumbs out of utter habit. "Just, don't want you to go out with other people".

"Just say you fell for me and go" you smirked.

"Shut up..." he sighed, gently letting his forehead rest on yours. "But you're mine, though".

You could hardly hold back a squeal at the sound of those words abandoning his mouth, but you somehow managed to by biting your lip and shaking your head in defeat as a wide smile tried to break through. "Didn't you just answer your own question now?"

"Nope, I just said you're mine" he pulled you closer, tightening his hold on your waist. "Still don't know what we are".

You sighed, lovingly this time. It almost felt like a dream, where you got what you had wanted all along. Almost too surreal to believe this was reality.

"All of this because Channie vaguely mentioned setting me up with one of his mates?" You couldn't help but incredulously let out.

"Yes, now give me a proper answer".

"Why don't you take me out on a date first?" you proposed. "You know, like, a proper boyfriend and girlfriend date?"

You could see the way he beamed at the mention of said labels; he did not try to hide it at all. "And then I'll have my answer?"

You smiled, tenderly brushing your lips against his. "And then you'll have your answer".

Laughing under his breath as his hands cupped your face and his thumb traced your bottom lip, he whispered a small 'okay' before he closed the gap between your mouths.

Just like that, closing the deal.

"And you better not hit me with the friends bullshit again, becau—"

You shut him up with another kiss. One that would last longer, and that was enough for him to know you would never try to deny the obvious feelings between the two of you again.

[sordidmusings]

Tender Love and Care - Hair Care (Buggy x Reader)

Art by Capitanpoops (link keeps expiring QnQ)

A/N: Ah yes, another 'taking care of Buggy's head' fic to take up space on the internet. Just gotta indulge in giving this man some tlc. Did I write four thousand words of simping for the cringefail pirate clown's hair? Yes. And I'd do it again >:p

Word Count: ~4 k

Warnings: feminine leaning afab!reader (no pronouns or gendered titles), Lots of Feelings, yearning, possibly angst?, probably hurt/comfort?, waxing very poetic, Buggy being a prickly bitch who doesn't know how to receive affection, Buggy also being a delusional bitch who immediately latches on to that affection

amab!Version

Next ->

~ ~ ~ ••• ✦✦✦ ••• ~ ~ ~

“Touch the makeup and I’ll bite your fingers off!”

“I’m quaking.”

“...I’ll spit in your face.” His eyes narrowed while you blanched. “I’ve got damn good aim too so you better watch those big ol’ eyes.” Almost a compliment? Progress.

“To save us both from catastrophe, I’ll let you keep your grease-face,” you promised. After a few more seconds of giving you the stink eye (really, you should be taking notes because his form is exemplary), Buggy finally settled back into your hold. His stubble scratched lightly at your palms and you allowed your thumbs a scant few passes from his cheek bones to the back of his jaw. That was easy enough to play off as mindless movements while you examined him for the coming wash. Hopefully.  You were at least putting in the effort to keep the affection in your chest from blooming into a wide smile on your face, lest he begin spitting like a wet cat again.

After placing him down on your clothes chest, you began gathering together the things you’d need to clean him up. You had already prepared a large basin of steaming water before you had grabbed Buggy from Zoro for your night shift with him. If he had truly protested against you then you’d just have extra water to pamper yourself with for your nightly routine. What a loss. While you flitted around grabbing a cup, a pile of towels, and care products, Buggy took to commenting about whatever his eyes fell on around your room. Your half-assed replies did nothing to discourage his gentle roast of your safe space. He only shut up when you picked him back up and brought him over to the basin.

You were taken by surprise when you took off his bandana.  You had guessed that his hair was thick from the pieces that framed his face, but you hadn’t expected long locks to be wrapped up in there. They slipped and fell down like silk despite being in clear need of a wash, and you started to become a bit excited to see how they would come to shine under your care.

“What’s wrong with you? Never seen hair before?” There was a bit more bite to him all of a sudden and it hit you that he may be self-conscious from your staring.

“Never seen yours before, duh,” you teased. “You should wear your hair out as a power move against all the scrangly ass men in these waters.”

Buggy took a blank-faced moment to process your words. Probably weighing your sincerity against the backlog of insults he’s heard in his life. Unfortunately, one joking compliment never stood a chance.

“Whatever, just do your job.” His bitter tone made you keep your mouth shut and drop the topic. For now.

Seeing how he had a lot more hair than anticipated, you got up again to grab yet another towel so that you could use it as a cushion. Finally settled, you grabbed Buggy in one hand, the cup in the other, and got to work. You had laid a small board across the basin so you could rest Buggy on it instead of having to hold him up the whole time. You may have gotten strong in this life, but you were not masochistic enough to try holding him up throughout this process. You made sure to be extra gentle when you put him to rest on the back of his head, mindful that the hard plank wasn’t the most comfortable.

Wetting his hairline was taking longer than you thought. The soft noises from the pouring water hitting his scalp and trickling through his hair into the basin below felt loud in the stillness of the room. Everything had a languid air like you could breathe freely without thought or time to measure the passing of each exhale. Wanting to check in, you looked down from your task and into Buggy’s face. Despite all his past showboating, Buggy was having difficulty keeping his gaze anywhere near your face.  You decided to take pity on him in his discomfort but not too much. “So how’d you get your damn good aim?”

Silence.

You’re beginning to think that him looking at you like you’re stupid is his comfort zone.

“You know, that ‘damn good aim’ that makes my ‘big ol’ eyes’ easy targets?” you supplied.  At first, you thought he would roll his eyes and make more digs at you, but he finally caught you off guard.

“It’s a trade secret,” he said with a growing smile and a glint in his eyes. His face grew even more pleased when you smiled mischievously back at him.

“Clown trade?”

He hummed out an affirmative. You saturated the last of his hair at the front and sides and now needed to dunk the rest in the basin. The sheer amount of long blue locks that this pretty, pretty man had may cause it to overflow, but you supposed that’s just a workplace hazard when becoming a glamor clown’s hairdresser. You paused in lowering him to look around quite dramatically (squinty eyes, pursed lips, and all) before leaning slightly closer to stage whisper, “You can tell me; I ain’t no snitch.”

You barely caught the laugh that he choked short in order to keep up his serious facade. He let his eyes wander the room to double check your surveying and pretended to be in thought. He let out a heaving sigh and said, “Okay, okay, but you have to lean in close. Can’t have this getting out.”

Ever obliging, you turned your head and leaned until you felt his warm breath on your skin and the roundness of his nose tickling to top of your ear. You were thankful he couldn’t see the little shiver down your spine or the goosebumps spreading down your neck. He was thankful you couldn’t see him close his eyes to savor the scent of your perfume. All was still for a few breaths too long.

“The secret?” you prompted, thinking he was waiting for your urging or that he was just trying to make you squirm. You didn’t see his eyes flutter open while he forced thoughts other than your closeness back into that head of his. Okay, he really needed to do something to reel himself back in and get some control of the situation.  Easier said than done when he’s only a head.

You felt as much as you heard him take a deliberate inhale… only for a loud raspberry to be blown right next to your ear.

Nearly dropping him in shock, you quickly pulled your head back and held him at arm’s length like a misbehaved puppy. Through his canting cackles, Buggy met your wide eyes with a proud grin. It didn’t even need the help of his makeup to split his face. Damn, you could stare at that forever. He had just the prettiest eyes you think you’d ever seen. The way they shifted color under the low lights and sparkled with his smile had you feeling entranced. It had the same commanding presence and addicting warmth as flames with their own swirling colors and sparking embers. You thought your poetic idioms for him would always center around the sea, especially for his blue-green eyes, but here we are.

The corner of his smile started to twitch downward under your stare until wild and cheerful giggles burst from your lips. They were the kind to shake your shoulders and scrunch your cheeks up into your eyes and he’s now certain that he has fucked right up. Buggy felt alarms blaring in his mind as he took in your joy and was certain he would make an absolute fool of himself in any and all ways possible to keep getting hits of it. Between your settling laughter, you managed to say, “Don’t worry, I’ll bring that wisdom with me to my grave.”

Readjusting your grip, you moved forward and dunked the back of Buggy’s head fully into the water. He sighed out at the sensation, but he fully melted when one of your hands went to support the back of his skull and the other flowed through his tresses to make sure all of them were wet. You let yourself take your time, both to make sure you were thorough and to indulge yourself in the comfort of the moment. A tenderness spread through you when you saw that this was also indulging Buggy. His breath was slow and steady, and his eyes were resting closed to better focus on the sensations coming to him. You truly were a people pleaser at heart and seeing someone so bedraggled and affection-starved accept your care made your heart and head feel fuzzy.

You slowly leaned him more upright and used your other hand to wipe out some of the excess water. Buggy felt you shuffling around, and his eyes opened to see what you were up to. After you moved him to rest on the flat bottom of his neck on top of the softest towel that he’s felt in ages, he realized that you went through the trouble to try to make even that wooden board comfortable for his sake. He was starting to feel even more uncertain and out of his element.

Careful fingers carded through and spread out his hair behind him while an equally careful gaze watched over their work. After lathering your hands with a shampoo bar scented by vanilla and spices, you set to work giving him the scalp massage of a lifetime.

While focusing on doing the best job possible and maybe also the beautiful color of his hair was keeping you from thinking about anything else, Buggy had no such luxury. He had nothing to direct his nervous energy at - didn’t even have fingers to fidget with! - so he closed his eyes and tried to keep his face neutral. Everyone enjoys a good scalp massage or at least some kind of pampering so it wouldn’t have been weird for him to visibly enjoy it, but something watery and vulnerable was pressing at his throat under your tender care. His mind and body (well… head) were at odds. While his train of thought spun every which way only to be tethered back to the word ‘why’, his muscles melted until they were soft and pleasantly limp. Has his brow ever been so smooth? His jaw so loose? His lips so softly set? Oh God, you must have noticed the stubborn stiffness in his neck because your fingers abandoned his hair to firmly rub from the base of his skull to where he met the towel and that was truly his undoing.

With a rumbly hum, Buggy finally gave in to temptation and tied his mind to your movements. He let himself imagine affection there - imagine that this was special and just for him. You’ve never tended to anyone else like this. You offered because you simply had to know what his hair felt like. You just wanted to touch him. You wanted it much more than you ever wanted to touch anyone else. If he opened his eyes and looked up at yours, he would see them pouring with love, just like your hands were, and you would look sweetly down at him with your pretty eyes and pretty smile and say lovely things and you’d love him-

You’d love him.

Fuck.

You noticed Buggy suddenly flinch under your hands and you tensed up.

“Are you okay? Did I snag your hair?” You hadn’t felt anything tug but you supposed you could’ve missed it.

Buggy cleared his throat before stiffly responding, “No. Keep going.”

Something thick in his tone caught your attention and you looked to see his expression was tense instead of the blissed out one you had admired not too long ago. That won’t do. You went back to the tried and true pressure points on the scalp that you knew from experience eased anyone up. Checking his face again, you noticed it was more relaxed but still too guarded for your tastes. Deciding he must be getting antsy, you switched to working the shampoo down his hair after getting a touch more product on your hands. The time it took to get it properly sudsed and rinsed was calm, despite the fact that there was some undercurrent to the air that felt charged. Maybe it was just from seeing the talkative and bratty clown be so subdued. As you began spreading conditioner through his hair, you decided that it was time to engage him again.

“This bar is my favorite; nothing makes my hair softer,” you said. Already, his hair was relaxing to glide even more smoothly between your fingers. You weren’t ready to give the feeling up, so you spent the entire time that the conditioner was setting to run your fingers through his hair.

Buggy couldn’t do anything at the moment to judge your claim, but the smell alone made him understand why it was your favorite. It matched that of the shampoo bar, but the richer ingredients in the conditioner highlighted the comforting tones of the vanilla and the sensuality of warm spices and wood. He relished in it on every inhale, hoping to unravel and memorize its every undertone. Was that a touch of orchid in there? A little pink peppercorn? Maybe some incense and amber at the base? Buggy suddenly felt ridiculous. He was never one to give much thought to fancy perfumes, yet here he was trying to dissect your scent like a sommelier tasting a new wine. 

You made quick work of rinsing his hair this final time and gently pushing and squeezing any excess water out. You set Buggy back on a towel, this time one that was spread on the floor. It was the one that you had just been sitting on. Buggy was embarrassed that he noticed and enjoyed the fact that he could still feel your body heat on it.

“How many of those things do you have?” Buggy scoffed as you pulled yet another towel over to dry his hair. You bopped his forehead with a finger in warning against further sass.

“You can never have too many. It’s something that you use daily and they come in handy during emergencies,” you explained.

“Oh yeah like what?”

“Well, I was thinking of situations like having to soak up a spill or blood, but the state of your hair definitely qualifies.”

The outburst was immediate.

“I KNEW YOU WERE MAKING FUN OF ME YOU DAMN LIAR! HOW DA-”

Good thing you were prepared for this and stuffed some of yet another towel into his screaming mouth. He bit down on it harshly and glared at you with all his might. Snarls and grumbles still made their way through the cloth, letting you know just how displeased he was. You were a little shocked to find that despite being gagged and despite just being a head that his glare still actually intimidated you. The time spent with the crew treating him like a harmless little pest had helped you forget that, when push came to shove, he could back up his talk with violence.

The brief glimpse of fear in your eyes gave him a twinge of satisfaction but mostly felt a lot more hollow than he’d expected. Wasn’t this what he wanted? 

When you reached back out to continue drying his hair, you were more tentative than he had ever seen you and his mood dropped even further. Even with your caution, the way that you moved the towel over his hair and gently squeezed more water out of it was filled with care. The whole thing felt very foreign to him. Buggy usually rubbed his towel through his hair chaotically like the more forceful he was the sooner he could get done with the bothersome task. You were working over him like any undue force would be an insult. Like he was something precious. That watery feeling started pressing on him again.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” you started quietly. “I just meant to poke fun, not make you actually feel insulted.” After a few more soft pats with the towel, you slowly removed his makeshift gag. He took a moment to wiggle around his jaw and get the dry feeling out of his mouth.

“Yeah, well good job, dumbass,” he bit. You winced at the hurt in his tone. “Just finish up.”

You took a moment to recenter yourself while you grabbed your comb and brush. This was not how you wanted this to go. One wrong comment had sent this whole interaction spiraling and it made you sad. Sensitivity like that was usually built up from years of feeling the same hurts over and over again, and you didn’t ever want to be someone to aggravate an already festering wound, especially not on someone who you genuinely enjoyed. Not on someone who you were increasingly craving affection from. This needed to be fixed. Steeling yourself for the resistance you were about to meet, you began combing the ends of his hair and spoke, “The blue color is so pretty.”

He ignored you. As expected.

“It was one of the first things I noticed about you.” He still wouldn’t even glance up at you. “Also how it brings out the color of your eyes.”

He snorted dismissively in a way that very clearly told you he wasn’t believing a word you said. Also expected. You’re just going to have to soldier on until this eventually worked… maybe worked… hopefully worked?

Just as in the rest of the process, you were slow and thorough when combing his hair. You murmured compliments to him about how soft it is; how thick and how beautiful. By the time that you had switched to using your brush, he was showing signs of being worn down by your flattery. His face was more relaxed and he let himself look around instead of trying to burn a hole through the floor. All you could focus on, though, was how downcast and tired his eyes looked.

“Alright, I’m all finished up,” you told him. “I’m going to put you in the hammock for a minute while I get ready for bed.”

After placing him in the middle of your bedding, you disappeared behind a dressing screen. The routine of bathing  yourself with a washcloth and bowl of soapy water eased you. Since you had taken so much time tending to Buggy, the last bowl of fresh water had become lukewarm. Despite this, the final wipe down had you feeling refreshed and ready to jump into bed. It was no soak in the tub, but still left you feeling much better after a long day of helping work around the ship.

You had set about your routine briskly so that you didn’t leave Buggy waiting too long. Little did you know, he didn’t mind the time of having nothing to do besides enjoy the soft blankets you curled up in every night. He was trying to soak it in before you inevitably put him back down on the floor. If the night had taught him anything, you’d at least put him on one of those fluffy towels instead of throwing him back in the bag like the others did.

You came over to him on the hammock and he admired how you looked, now clean and fresh in a modest slip. When you picked him back up, your face and body language were as placid as he had ever seen them and he was surprised at how content that made him feel. He readied himself to be moved away, left cold and forgotten, but he was astonished when you plopped yourself in your bedding instead with him still in your hands. The shock must have shown on his face because you giggled at him and gave him a bright smile. Even with the bumpy road that the night had been, your smile made him soft and content. He was realizing with more and more resignation that your smile and laugh would let you get away with anything when it came to him.

“So no floor? Trying to bribe me with favors?” His voice was mostly back to that sarcastic lilt you’ve come to adore.

Content that he was feeling better, you answered, “Nah, just using you so I can have a teddy bear. Haven’t had a good one in ages.”

Making good on that promise, you made sure that he was securely nestled into your neck and shoulder. You used both of your arms to cradle him there and both hands to continue your worship of his hair. It was just barely damp and the coolness felt nice on your hands, especially in contrast to the cozy heat emanating from his head. His long eyelashes tickled at your neck every time he blinked, just like the light scruff on his jaw teased at your chest. His big nose felt cozy rested on your clavicle, and you had to resist the urge to reach down and trail your fingers on it. A giddy and victorious feeling flushed through you when you felt him close his eyes a final time and sink into your embrace.

Buggy should have known that he was doomed from the start. He was having a hell of a time trying not to moan at your fingers scratching and massaging his scalp, both during the hair care and now, when he was held in your arms. He couldn’t stop his little movements to nestle into you and get just that much more of your warmth and touch. If he thought that he loved the smell of you before, he was absolutely intoxicated now that he knew what it was like when it floated over the two of you while wrapped in body-warmed sheets.

He wanted to ask you why you were doing all of this, but he didn’t want to know the answer. Not right now. Right now he was going to let himself go back into that place in his head where you lo- cared about him. A place where each night he would crawl into bed with you and, no matter how the day went, you would be there to empty his mind of anything but the two of you. You’d greet him with a kiss or a laugh or an embrace and you would shine with so much joy because he’s next to you again. He’d know what your love felt like, how your body felt under his hands, how your skin felt under his lips. All these daydreams swirling in his head started to make him sick with want, and he needed to know at least one of them. He couldn’t handle all of them staying forever in his mind.

The tiniest increase of pressure from his lips brought your attention to where they rested below your collarbone. The almost kiss was so heartbreakingly shaky and hesitant that you felt your eyes burn with the threat of tears. To reassure him, you dragged your cheek across his temple before turning to leave a deliberate kiss there. Buggy relished the contact, the satisfied sigh you let out afterward, and the gentle weight of your cheek as you snuggled back into him. Your reward came in the form of a grinning cheek pushing into you.

All his humor and posturing certainly caught your attention in the best way and even his explosive temper was something you couldn’t say turned you away. This gentleness, though, this uncertain and wounded place, had you bursting with affection and you were hoping to keep experiencing it. You’d meet it each time with steady affection until it turned into something he embodied with the same surety that he had in his beloved spotlight.

Both of you slipped more sweetly into dreams, curled up together as you were, and with more peace and ease than the years before had allowed. Neither of you would let the years to come be absent of this sweet treasure, either.

Next->

[reverie-starlight]

{PR DAY ~ sakusa kiyoomi}

MSBY manager!reader my beloved <3

it’s PR Day for the jackals and you, their manager, have the day off. so why is your boyfriend trying so hard to convince you to go with him?

gn!reader, fluff, an attempt at humor, atsumu slander (as much as it pains me, it comes with the territory of writing a fic like this 😔) suggestive in some parts. not nsfw at all, but explicit language is used and one conversation surrounds that topic, so read at your own risk <3 also, intentional tense-switch in the beginning!!! and just like the first part, it’s not explicitly mentioned, but reader and atsumu have known each other since high school.

part 1 of the mini-series

managing MSBY came with its ups and downs.

on one hand, you wouldn’t have met your boyfriend if it weren’t for this job. and you've never laughed as hard as you have been these past three years with coworkers before meeting the current core line up of the jackals.

but on the other? you had three massive fully grown children under your care. four, technically, if they managed to annoy sakusa enough that he stoops to their level of childishness.

which was unfortunately very often.

…

nearly every week.

…

fine, basically everyday.

and ever since your relationship was revealed to the team nearly a year ago, the “trouble trio” had been behaving exactly like you expected them to. the whole team was slightly insufferable about it, sure, but atsumu, hinata and bokuto really took it too the next level.

so obviously you really valued your days off.

and today was the first day off you’ve had in months. you refused to take off days during the busiest weeks of the season, but today was a PR day.

interviews, promotional videos for the official social media accounts, a livestream or two- all things you were more than happy to leave in the hands of the team’s PR and social media managers.

the birds were singing, the sunlight was streaming through the bedroom window and a cool breeze could be felt against your skin. the day was calm and you were so excited to relax and do all the things you had planned.

but of course, your hopes are just that.

you see your boyfriend standing in the doorway of your bedroom, looking like he wants to say something. your heart lurches into your throat.

“soooo,” he starts, not looking directly at you as he moves to the bed and looks at his laid out clothes. you’re already shaking your head before he can say anything else. he ignores this and proceeds to betray you. “if you wanted to tag along today, you could or whatever.”

he’s shameless. he knows how much you’ve been looking forward to today.

“kiyoomi. love of my life. my darling. what the fuck?”

he lets out a snort and looks down at you semi-pleadingly- a rare sight. “I’ll buy you coffee on the way there.”

oh, he’s bargaining? you smirk. “aww, baby,” you stand up and make your way over to him, dramatically twirling and falling back into him with the back of your hand touching your forehead and the other pressed to your chest. “you just can’t bear to be apart from me, can you?”

the pleading look in his eye fades and he gives you a disgusted look you know he doesn’t mean. his arms stay wrapped around you so you don’t fall. “you wish.”

you shrug and move back to your chair, finishing up your morning routine. “hmm I guess I’ll stay here then.”

you enjoy the silence for a moment before he sighs. “fine, two coffees.”

a loud laugh leaves your mouth when he says that. your boyfriend would never put this performance on for anyone else. it was as close to begging as you’d ever get from sakusa kiyoomi.

you shake your head and sigh. “my love, you know I’ve been looking forward to my day off for so long. why are you so insistent about me going with you?”

suddenly he’s behind your chair and leaning down so his breath tickles your ear. “coffee and lunch and maybe when we get back I could be convinced to try that thing you were talking about…” the words are backed up by a kiss to your jaw and some pointed eye contact through the mirror.

you widen your eyes and search his expression for any trace of a lie.

none.

you cannot believe you’re letting him convince you into this, but the offer is far too good to pass up.

you pretend to mull it over, then meet his eyes in the mirror again. “make sure the trouble trio don’t try to coerce me into working and we have a deal.”

“well of course, I was going to yell at them if they tried anything like that anyway.”

“perfect, then let’s seal it with a kiss.”

“only a kiss, baby, I feel your hands wandering.” he pecks your lips quickly and pulls away before you can deepen it.

you pout. “can you blame me? you’ve got me all excited now.”

he shakes his head fondly and straightens up, moving to put the shirt his stylist had insisted upon for the upcoming interviews. you had to hand it to her- she knew exactly what she was doing.

you watch him with hawk eyes and he just turns his head to look at you in amusement. “stop staring at me and get ready, you perv, we have to leave soon.”

as soon as you step into the building where all the other jackals are, you’re bombarded with confused greetings.

“hey, I thought it was your day off?”

“ayy, manager’s here! good to see ya.”

“what are you doing here? you weren’t scheduled for today, were you?”

you sigh and sip your coffee, letting go of sakusa’s hand as you speak to the coach. “no, I wasn’t. I was kidnapped and brought here by one of your wing spikers.”

he chuckles and glances over at your boyfriend, who is looking up at the ceiling and avoiding eye contact. “I see. well, if anyone tries to get you to work today, just let me know and I’ll help sakusa put them in their places.”

you smile kindly. “thank you, sir, I appreciate it.”

as soon as he walks away, you’re surrounded by the three people you wanted to see least today.

a long sigh leaves your lips as atsumu, hinata and bokuto stare at you in wonder.

“just get it over with,” you grumble.

“how much do ya wanna bet he promised something outrageous?” atsumu.

“what, like an all expenses paid vacation?” hinata.

“no, it’s omi-omi, it wouldn’t make sense for him to take time off in the middle of game season.”

you roll your eyes at their back and forth and glance over at the man in question, who appears to be glowering. you can almost picture the scowl underneath his mask. “you’re all idiots,” he states.

“hey! I haven’t even said anything yet!” bokuto protests.

“yes, but I can practically hear the gears in your brain grinding.”

“I’ll bet it’s a sex thing,” atsumu interrupts just as bokuto is about to defend himself.

you all freeze and stare at him.

your boyfriend, deadly calm, says “miya, I will skin you alive.”

the blonde, who absolutely loves getting a rise out of sakusa, just smirks. “oh, so I’m right then?” he turns to you and slings an arm over your shoulder. “tell me, dear manager, what exactly did he have to agree to in order to get ya to show up on your day off?”

you flick his forehead and shake your head disapprovingly. “none of your business, you freak. just 'cause your dating life isn’t going too well right now doesn’t mean you can pry into mine. download tinder or something if you’re that bored.”

bokuto and hinata snicker at that, but straighten up quickly when he shoots them a glare. suddenly, meian stalks up behind the three of them and clears his throat.

“if you’re all done terrorizing our manager, our social media team is ready for us now. hurry up.” he nods at you with an apologetic smile and drags atsumu away from you. “sakusa, you too. we’ve been waiting for a while now.”

as soon as his teammates walk away and he’s sure they’re not watching him, he slumps a bit and you notice the tips of his ears have gone red. you smile at him in amusement and pat his cheek, the action only slightly awkward due to his mask.

“aw lighten up, kiyoomi, I’m used to dealing with atsumu by now. just ignore him, he wouldn’t dream of bringing that up again if he knows what’s good for him.”

he sighs and drops his shoulders, relief washing over him now that he knows you’re not regretting your decision to come with him. he slips off his mask and presses a quick kiss to your lips. “alright. I love you, just enjoy the show.”

you take his mask and walk with him to the rest of the group so that they can start with the promotional videos.

it’s fun to watch, honestly, because the team’s dynamic does work well for the cameras. they’re not even playing anything up.

you sit through the promo videos they need to film for upcoming games, the silly one-off fluff questions and the fan asks for their instagram page before they’re allowed a break.

sakusa stalks over to you with a small scowl and you smile. “you’re doing great, handsome.”

his expression softens a bit and he offers you a kiss on the forehead. “thank you, darling. care for some lunch?”

you nod and pull him out the door before a certain trio can invite themselves to the impromptu lunch date.

you walk in comfortable silence towards the building’s food court before something pops into your mind. “kiyoomi, you never answered my question from earlier.”

he hums in acknowledgment. “and what might that be?”

“why were you so insistent on me joining you today?”

he doesn’t answer for a moment, but you wait patiently. you know he’s not ignoring you.

finally he sighs and squeezes your hand. “I feel like we haven’t been spending much time together lately outside of work… and I was hoping that by bringing you with me today we’d be able to have at least some time together…” his voice is low, but he’s not shy about it.

you fiddle with the chain around your neck, one he bought for you a while back. "that's very sweet of you, kiyo."

"and..." he hesitates a bit, but you squeeze his hand in return to encourage him. "I feel more relaxed in front of the cameras when you're there."

you melt a little bit. "I'm happy I make you feel that way, kiyoomi. thank you for kidnapping me on my day off, I suppose."

he snorts and you smile. you're about to lean in to pull his mask down for a kiss, but you're interrupted. of course.

"hey, hey, hey! there you guys are! we saw you leaving so figured we'd get lunch with you!"

you honestly don't think you could ever be mad at bokuto, but he is seriously testing your patience right now. not far behind him are atsumu and hinata, one looking smug and the other a bit sheepish. one of them probably brought up your departure to bokuto, either on purpose or accidentally you'd never know.

you sigh and pat sakusa on the back. "yeah, come on. you're all paying for your own, though."

you both ignore the whines of the fully grown children behind you and continue walking hand in hand.

~~~~

BONUS:

"so this question is directed at sakusa..." atsumu reads the question silently and the team watches as he holds back a laugh.

you watch as your boyfriend narrows his eyes at the blonde in front of him and you sigh. things had been going so well up until now.

it’s past lunch break now, and their social media manager had just given them a box full of printed out tweets with fan questions to answer. she snickers to herself as if she knows which question it is and looks pointedly at you from behind the phone she’s recording on.

you blink in confusion, but everything is made clear when atsumu opens his mouth again.

“omi-omi, user @/kiyosdear wants to know if you’re single, or if you’re in need of a dog, because they’re more than willing to bark.”

the social media manager giggles, as does the rest of the team. you feel your eye twitch a bit, but you’re easily able to shove down any possession you feel in the moment.

it’s obviously impossible to ignore so many people vying for his attention all the time, but sometimes it could be a little funny to see how flustered your boyfriend could become from the unwanted attention.

you smile at the small scowl that forms. “no thank you. I’d want nothing less.”

atsumu snorts at his curt answer and hands the box to him. sakusa picks out a question and reads it to himself before blushing furiously and turning his face away from the camera. you watch curiously as meian looks over his shoulder to see what could have garnered that reaction from him and his eyes trail to you amusedly.

the social media manager looks like she’s having a field day, zooming in on sakusa’s red face for a moment. it’s not often something flusters him that badly after all. she’ll milk it for all it’s worth.

the captain pries the paper out of your boyfriend’s hand and reads it out loud.

“@/msby_luvr asks, yo @/sakusakiyoomi, is your team's manager single? totally unrelated, @/msbymanager, are you free on thursday?"”

it’s not exactly a secret to the public that there’s something going on between you two, they just don’t know what that something is.

of course neither of you ever confirm or deny anything, but you imagine being asked outright like that is what caught him off guard.

the camera cuts to you, “offstage” laughing at the question and shaking your head a little in amusement.

or maybe he’s not shy, but rather jealous?

that’s kind of sweet.

regardless, you speak up for him, knowing he wouldn't answer. "I am not single, but thanks for asking."

the camera pans back to the team, just in time to catch the tail end of atsumu clapping your boyfriend on the shoulder.

sakusa gives you a small smile, clearly relieved you took over for him, and goes back to focusing on the interview.

hinata, the poor thing, reads the next question. “oh boy… @/msbymanager asks, sakusa and atsumu rivals to lovers arc when?”

you cackle as both men whip their heads in your direction, betrayal and incredulity on their faces.

raising your hands, you said to them “in my defence, I was still miffed about being dragged here on my day off when I sent it in!”

atsumu loudly refuted the question and the jeers from his teammates, but that was all drowned out by the look your boyfriend sent your way.

you sighed. you were really in for it later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’ll 100% be doing more MSBY manager!reader. and I’ll do more PR scenarios as well, bc as much fun as this was to write, it didn’t have as much as I wanted to include. but I’ll have to do more research. thank you for reading!! and happy birthday sakusa <3

tags: @dira333 (ty for inspiring me to turn it into a mini-series) @emmyrosee (Ik you love Sakusa and you wanted the WIP for this a long time ago)

[idontknowreallyidontcare]

Silly Husband!König decided to give it a try to one of Soap’s girlfriend’s ideas. Out with the boys for a beer, he let it slip that in some weeks you’d celebrate your first anniversary and he’s just scared of not being able to make you live a night full of passion, he’s getting a bit old after all.

Some of the girlfriends were trying to give him lots of advice, “don’t watch porn, don’t masturbate, don’t be overly sexual because you might not be able to get it up”, Soap’s girlfriend casually mentions just taking some aphrodisiacs and calling it a night (better if taken some hours before the act, so sexual tension can be built up). Soap ends up telling König how it actually works and how his girlfriend never had a complaint while they used them, just make sure not to exaggerate with the dose/the amount of times you use it.

Husband!König returning home to you, finding your precious self asleep on the couch as his heart starts pounding and blood rushing, he just loves you so much, he will not risk anything to ruin the day of your anniversary. He brings you to your shared bed and gently tucks you in, kissing your temple as he gets out the room, closing the door slowly so he doesn’t wake you up.

Husband!König that spends the night on the computer and researches the topic of aphrodisiacs, writing down every pro and con he finds. He goes thru a list of the safest ones to buy and chooses the absolute best one, paying a good amount of money for it, but it’s all for his sweet lady upstairs, he would pay millions just to make sure she’s safe.

Husband!König that receives his package and runs to hide it asap, so you don’t see or suspect anything. Your anniversary it’s in a week, he can’t risk to ruin the whole surprise. The bottle it’s actually small, or maybe his hands are too big (umm.. DUH?), but he reads the instructions very well, aside from trying to remember what the website he bought this thing from said. A maximum of 2 drops mixed with anything, or just plopped in the mouth and swallowed, if taken more, there was not really any risk, the state of the aphrodisiac would just last longer, but don’t go over 5 drops, it’ll be painful to deal with the effects for DAYS!

Husband!König is getting ready for your dinner, being finally the day of your anniversary, and as you’re still stuck on your make up, he prepares two glasses of champagne for you two to drink before going. Of course he has a reason to, he squeezes, well he tries to, some drops of the aphrodisiac. He’s careful to remember not to go above 5 drops, and decides to be precautious, he’s squeezing in 2 for you, you’re a young lady, your stamina still pretty high, while he gives himself double, 4 drops hoping he didn’t fuck up, still, he’ll think later about consequences. He brings the glasses upstairs to you, and you both drink, you thank him and notice how he is not able to keep his hands off you already. You have to drag him outside the house, or you’re risking your dress ripped off and your makeup destroyed, but it’s still too early for that!!

Husband!König that’s being tasted for the whole duration of the dinner, you caress his hands, your foot seductively touching his leg, running up and down his calf, your eyes focusing on his face and never breaking eye contact, your lips, your voice, everything about you is so sexy and seductive, and he can’t wait to just bring you home and give you a proper fuck, one you’ll never forget, and not because it’s your first anniversary together, but because he really plans to fuck you good, worship you but still get you all dirty and messed up for him. He’s a man of thought, he bought condoms, he has lube, even bought one that tastes like strawberry, he’ll pour it on your pussy and enjoy himself between your legs for a good amount of time. He has cuffs, ropes, toys that you would already regularly use, but tonight he wants to push you to the limits, he’ll probably stick his cock inside your pussy while he fucks your ass with a dildo, he’ll make sure to torture your clit with a vibrator while he fucks your ass, and play with your tits, maybe even sticking his cock between them too! Night’s young and he has a lot of plans, he can tell that his magic drops are working on you also, not just on him, because the moment you both leave the restaurant you’re leeched onto him, grabbing, touching, tracing his body and hungrily kissing his lips when he allows you to. He’s a taste, he’s not lowering himself on purpose just to hear you beg and whine about wanting his lips.

Husband!König who stands on his title as a silly man, because he might be actually good with technology, but why would he not delete the chrome history on a computer he knew very well you were using too. Maybe it was a slip, maybe he really didn’t think that his searches would pop up on the search bar the moment you typed an ‘A’ onto the keyboard, eager to look for ‘Austrian foods’ to make for him, just to have ‘Aphrodisiacs for couples, pros and cons’ pop up as a recent search. Needless to say, you left it be, your silly husband was onto something and you were really exited to see how it would all play out. You knew the moment he brought you the glass of champagne, you knew what he had put inside, and you still drank all of it. Careful not to spill a drop. The night was long ahead, you knew, but were more than happy about it. Feeling your panties already sticking to your folds while in the car was an indicator that the aphrodisiac was indeed in your champagne, and it was working its magic already! Of course he wanted you to suffer a bit by giving it to you before dinner, but he mostly wanted to edge himself, force himself to have you all wet and ready for him the whole time you were at the restaurant, having to wait till back home to have you in every place and position he wanted.

[pedgito]

hi! would u ever be comfortable writing about eddie's uncut cock? if not, it's totally fine. hope ur having a great day! <3

author’s note: funny you ask, because yes, absolutely. and look, i know people have varying opinions but let me be a whore in peace with my own nsfw headcanons, i don’t care what others think about eddie’s dick because this is just what sits in my brain. this was meant to be a small blurb so ignore the lack of form that i usually keep.

cw: 18+ (minors dni) obviously lots of dick talk what else do you expect, talks of self-exploration/masturbation, eddie dealing with some body issues pertaining to the topic in the ask, handjobs, oral (m receiving), i don’t apologize for any of this.

word count: 1.4k

eddie doesn't realize how uncommon it is until the reactions become the same and frequent, eventually forcing eddie to hate any kind of sexual interaction outside of himself for a while—he knows it's not a big deal, but the judgey looks and offhanded comments about how weird it was didn't make him impenetrable. it was always there in the back of his mind.

but eddie has always been about self-exploration, maybe to an unhealthy degree as he got older, interacted with girls less, buried himself into hellfire club and his side business of dealing—he usually kept interaction to a minimum, which wasn't hard when most of the school despised him.

and he can't imagine how anything could be better, his dick laying heavy against his belly as his fingers dragged up under his balls, touching delicately, almost teasing in a way before he gripped himself forcefully, tugging down until the head peeks past the skin in all of it's glistening glory, precum smeared over the slit as he slides back up, squeezing the head between his thumb and forefinger under the foreskin.

he thought being this sensitive was normal, but he was proven wrong time and time again. he's learned over time and through a lot of experience how to hold himself back, squeeze himself at the base to keep himself from coming too early or letting go completely, occasionally trying the tactic of squeezing the head until the feeling fades, it works wonders, but still, it doesn’t prepare him for the real thing—he's embarrassed when he's coming in the hands of some beautiful girl he sat next to in english class at the beginning of his first senior year, only some unrhythmic strokes of her hand and her thumb rubbing over the head of his cock before he's there, spilling over her hand without warning.

and when he’s really eager and seeking the relief, he's quick, knowing just the ways to touch himself, how sensitive the head of his cock can get under the skin and he's there before he can even process, groaning through clenched teeth.

he meets you somewhere between the beginning of his hopefully last year of school and the few weeks before then end of '85—he doesn't understand how you came into his life, telling himself how he surely manifested you, that there's no possible way you were real.

regardless, eddie's is riddled with nerves the first time you touch him, making some off-handed comment about how not pretty his dick is, hoping it isn't a total deal breaker.

you can't help but look at him, eyes wide but your gaze scewed, confused on why any of that would matter. you can't remember the last time you've found that to be a dealbreaker.

when you finally get his pants down, sneaking your fingers into the waistband of his boxers until his dick springs free, you realize just how dramatic eddie was being about the whole thing, having been fed some idea that uncut dicks weren't as acceptable as the contrary and it's a shame, because if it isn't the prettiest dick you've ever seen, arguing his earlier statement with a quick quip that has eddie laughing through his nervous blush.

"eddie—i don't say this to too many guys, none actually," you glance up at him briefly before trailing your fingers along the hard ridge of his abdomen, barely grazing him, "your dick is very pretty."

"careful," eddie warns with a grin, teeth peeking through slightly, "you'll give me an ego."

eddie watches you wearily, your eyes taking in the full sight of him as your fingers wrap around the shaft, the soft velvety texture of his skin pressing against your palm and fingertips.

his thick, not so much that it's intimidating but he fills out your hand in the best way and somewhere between seven and eight inches, the head of his cock a deep pink that slightly contrast the softer shade of his skin and you're pulling the skin back to rub your thumb over the tip, earning a hiss from eddie in response.

"sensitive?" you ask teasingly, smiling at eddie's reaction before you repeat your previous movements, circling his head with a torturous pressure that has eddie gripping the pillowcase above his head, chin tilting down slightly against his chest to look at you, his eyes squeezing shut momentarily as the feeling becomes too much.

"okay, okay," he rushes out, "maybe ease up on that unless you want—want this to be over in the next five seconds."

he's right, so you relent, continuing the slow drag of your hand as you gauge his reactions, the easy glide that the skin creates until you're leaning forward to lick a stripe along the underside of his dick, tracing along the faint vein that ran there before you’re practically drooling over him, the mix of your spit and his own precome making it more overwhelming before you're closing your mouth over him completely, keeping the same pace of your hand as your mouth hollows out around the tip.

eddie feels like he might die, but he's fully accepting it.

"oh fuck—shit, that's so much better than—" eddie rambles mindlessly, "never—never had anyone suck my dick before."

which is a shame, because it's easily becoming your favorite thing.

"can't see how," you reply as your bottom lip drags along the ridge of his blushed tip, “but i guess that makes me lucky.”

“just—girls always looked at me strange, said it was weird,” eddie comments, “like i have any control over that, guess my parents have always been destined to fuck me over, even from birth.”

you laugh along with him, his rambling thoughts slipping past his lips and filling the quiet lull of the air.

you were so thankful eddie wasn’t the type to stay quiet, because while his sounds were torture, the way his voice cracked with every few words was even better. you let him talk as much as he pleased until he physically couldn’t, his fingers slipping over the top of your head and into your hair, squeezing lightly as your shifted your hand up, skin slipping back over the head as you pressed your tongue over the small glimpse of his slit that was still visible, moaning softly as he tugged a little harsher, mumbling something under his breath you couldn’t make out.

“can’t wait to have you inside me,” you confess, his eyes lighting up as they connected with yours, “don’t ever want you thinking anything negative about yourself again, either—it’s not true.”

eddie nods slightly, “fuck—can’t say stuff like that with my dick in your mouth, sweetheart.”

you prod further, breath ghosting over his dick as you spoke, “why?”

eddie groans quietly, speaking through gritted teeth, “really need you to stop unless you’re okay with me coming in your mouth—i’d hate—hate to do that without asking.”

your teeth drag along your bottom lip, biting at the skin briefly.

“is that you asking?” you giggle softly, stopping briefly with skin pulled back to take him into your fully and fast, earning a choked gasp from eddie.

eddie nods again, more needy, “uh huh—yes, yes—god, please—“ and it’s only a few seconds later that he’s spilling into your mouth, his own hand wrapping around his shaft to pump it quickly, swatting your own hand away, salty slick pooling over your tongue in spurts, the warm liquid wouldn’t be as enticing if it wasn’t for it being from eddie—and you wouldn’t dare let a man come in your mouth like this, but eddie had earned that right.

you pull back slowly, swallowing for show as eddie squeezed at his dick, thumb rubbing over the head tenderly as his body jerked slightly with aftershocks.

“i’ve never—“ eddie sighs heavily, catching his breath, “never came that hard, holy fuck. i’ve always been sensitive but jesus—“

“i guess that’s quite the perk then,” you tease, crawling back up the slowly until your clothes cunt is pressed over his slowly soften dick, “amongst others.”

“you sure it doesn’t gross you out?” eddie asks curiously, having been programmed to always think it does, needing to hear the words for reassurance.

you grind the soft fabric cover your hips over his cock, feeling the subtle pressure it applies and watching eddie wince from the overstimulation, chucking weakly.

“positive.” you smile, leaning forward to press a sweet kiss against his lips, quickly turned dirty from eddie’s obvious impatience, his tongue slipping into your mouth to taste a mix of you and himself, the tanginess strange but welcoming as you moaned into his mouth openly.

“about being inside you—“ eddie starts, speaking softly against your lips, “can i take you up on that?”

“i thought you’d never ask.”

and it’s safe to say that eddie never doubts himself again, learning just how beautiful every piece of him is.

[leeknow-thoughts]

Your two different versions of Minho made me feel a certain kinda way. God lately this guy has been conjuring up all my thoughts and now, after having read that fic of yours I can't stop thinking about him even more 😭

I hope you write an entire fic on that topic someday. Imagine him losing his shit and going from mommy to minho and just being deliciously mean when oc cries out the wrong name. 😭

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this awakened something in me my dear anon and OH MY GOD THIS IS THE HOTTEST THING EVER AND YEAH I INITIALLY WROTE LIKE A PARAGRAPH AND THEN WAS LIKE YEAH THIS NEEDS ITS OWN DRABBLE SO I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS MY DEAREST ANON :3 also @yongbun bc I think she'd like :3

୨୧ MAKE YOU FEEL MY LOVE

𝝑𝝔 cw : soft!Dom Minho (referred to as mommy), mean!Dom Minho (referred to as Minho), spanking, clit play, porn no plot, one face slap, pussy slapping, degrading, uhhh guys I think that's it??

"Say ah, jagi," the devilish tone of Minho's voice paired with his almost piercing gaze is pointed at you has you dripping, waiting for you to open your mouth, a command that you're quick to obey. You're on your knees in front of him, he's sitting on your couch, one of his hands running through your hair, the other's fingers finding homage in your awaiting mouth.

"Mommy," you groan against his fingers, "mommy pl-please t-touch me?"

"Aw, sweet girl," Minho coos, "you want mommy to touch your drippy kitty parts?"

You're nodding your head so fast you're sure it's going to fall off. "C'mere," he hums, patting the space next to him on the couch, removing his fingers from your mouth and watching as you crawl onto the couch next to him.

"Lay your head on my lap, jagi," he instructs with the softest voice, "c'mon, baby, mommy doesn't bite."

You lay your head on his lap, head so full of Minho, everything about him. Your head is facing up at him, Minho staring down at you with a loving gaze.

His soft skin, his scent, his aura. Minho's hands are slipping past the waistband of your pants and you're slipping into that soft familiar headspace.

Minho's hands are delicate, touching you ever so gently, rubbing your clit with his calloused fingers. It is too much, body writhing around on the couch, trying to grasp everything he'll give you. "Minho!" you're screaming, hands gripping his own, your nails clawing into his soft milky skin.

"You want Minho?" he evilly grins, his hand coming down to slap your cunt.

The sting of the impact setting your nerves ablaze, your whole body curling around his hand, toes curling, eyes squeezing shut. "Open your fucking eyes," he hisses, his spare hand gripping your chin.

When you don't open your eyes he is quick to slap you across the face, not enough to actually hurt you - he wouldn't dare - but just hard enough to remind you of your place. Your eyes are snapping open, staring up at him, your pupils lust blown and fucked out and he hasn't even put his cock in you yet.

"Mommy!" you squeal, fat tears running down your cheeks.

"Ah ah ah, mommy can't help you now, dumb girl," he coos, slapping your cunt yet again, "you wanted Minho, you get Minho."

"Mommy!" you can't help but cry as Minho man handles you.

He has you face down ass up on the couch, you can hear his sweatpants being pulled down before you feel his fat tip pressing into you.

You scream into the pillows as he gives you no time to adjust to his cock, his movements swift and deep in your cunt. "Minho!" you're chanting his name like it's the only one you know and you're positively crying, salty tears running onto the cushions of the couch.

"There you go, jagi," he's groaning, his cock hitting that spot inside you that has you seeing stars, "just take it like the fucking whore that you were made to be."

[pathetichimbos]

How would tommy be like during sex? rough or soft mb in between?

I have many thoughts. So many. I don't really mention a gender but the pp goes into something. what you decide that is is between you and god

Well, to start it off, we all know Thomas is a big man. 6'5, wide set shoulders, big tummy and just all around a big stature.

He's naturally strong from growing up on a farm and working at the slaughterhouse, especially given that he walks back and forth a lot.

And he knows it.

This is something I could write a whole essay on, but I'll keep it short for the sake of this post and it's primary objective: A lot of people think Thomas is unaware. They think he doesn't understand basic things, like in The Beginning, after the slaughterhouse is shut down and Jess has to kick Thomas out, resorting to insulting him after Thomas won't leave, a lot of people assume it's because his mind can't grasp the fact that it's shut down, but it just isn't true. Thomas is very aware, and he's a very intelligent man. No, he may not be able to read all that well, and math confuses and frustrates him, but he's not an idiot.

All this to say that Thomas isn't this dumb jock that doesn't understand his own strength, he's very aware of how strong he is. He's spent his entire life on a farm, and if you've ever spent a lot of time around animals, you know that you have to know how to control yourself and your strength to protect the animals and yourself from getting hurt.

He's a gentle man, with a kind heart. And this carries over to sex, with several other factors as well.

See, the thing is, considering the time frame and everything, it's safe to assume Thomas never got the sex talk. He knows that sex happens between two people, he knows that babies come from sex, and he knows that it's sinful to have sex outside of marriage, but that's really it. He has no other frame of reference.

Considering this, and his own self repulsion due to his skin disease and seclusion from his peers, I honestly believe that Thomas is probably pseudo-asexual.

I say pseudo because I don't think Thomas is actually asexual. I think he has those urges and thoughts, but pushed them away in his own form of repulsion due to his self hatred and the shameful aspect his mother projected onto him.

It's very likely that Thomas does in fact have sexual feelings, and most of his "experience", if you could call it that, probably came from media. When someone of particular attractiveness came on the TV, like the local weather woman, or the sultry voice of the unseen radio man crackled through, it gave him an itch he couldn't scratch.

He would feel ashamed at these thoughts, because not only was the feeling such a sinful act in his mind, but he also believed he was too worthless to deserve anything like that. After all, those feelings are reserved for people who are married and love each other, and he doesn't believe he can ever be one of those people.

At some point or another it gets to be too much though, and he eventually caves and starts taking matters into his own hands, but the guilt and shame that comes afterwards makes it a very rare occasion.

So, given all this, we can finally move onto answer the original question of how Thomas is during sex.

Given that Thomas doesn't really know what sex is, he doesn't ever make any moves himself. He doesn't know how, all he knows is that sex is meant for marriage.

But as the two of you date and become closer, it gets harder and harder to avoid the topic. Sure, he's been attracted to the people on TV and in the magazines, but this is different. You're really real, and you're really here, and you really like him too. All of those shameful feelings he's spent his life trying to push away rush to the surface everytime you touch him in any intimate way.

But he won't change his mind on waiting until marriage, he has way too many pent up issues to get past that. The two of you fool around, sure, (which leads to you realizing just how little he really knows, and to talking him about it all), but that never really moves past desperate, through the clothes humping, and the occasion wandering hands when that just isn't enough.

When that time finally comes, though, he's riddled with anxiety.

It takes a lot of soft words and easing before it actually happens.

He stays still for a long time after he first bottoms out, and he's trying not to hold you too tightly. He's overwhelmed with the emotions running through him, and you can feel his tears from where his face is buried in your shoulder.

When he finally does move, it's awkward, and bumpy, and there's no real rhythm. He's just desperately moving, holding you tightly. He's very loud, moaning and whining against you. He finishes way too quickly to give you a chance, but he's got a lifetime to make up for, so it definitely doesn't end there.

Skipping ahead a bit, Thomas gets a lot more comfortable (and better) with sex. I think overall, he prefers the slow and lazy. He doesn't like to rush things, he prefers taking your time and enjoying it.

But, he's honestly pretty moldable. He forms into whatever you prefer, he just enjoys being with you more than anything. He'll be as rough or as soft as you'd like, you just have to direct him on what to do.

Anyways, now that we've taken six detours, it looks like we've finally reached our destination. I hope y'all enjoyed, and feel free to send in more asks like this.

Thank you <33

[bingbongsupremacy]

Closure Pt. 2

Pairing: Steve Harrington x plus size!reader

Warnings: swearing, anger, idk what else

Series Summary: You never knew Steve could be so shallow. When he leaves you to date Nancy Wheeler, you're left with a pain you thought he'd never leave with you. Maybe you should've stayed friends.

Part Summary: He wrote a letter. You don't need him. Right?

*Not Proof Read* Stranger Things Masterlist

Based off of Taylor Swift Song Closure. This was a request. I tried to make everything as general as possible. Pls let me know if missed something ty.

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3

*****

No one was supposed to know we were dating. Steve said he didn’t want his teammates to bug me. He didn’t want people to overreact when they found out about us and say mean shit. At the time, I agreed. I mean, Steve’s the king of Hawkins high. I wouldn’t be the first girl he’s dated who’s had rumors spread about them. 

Hiding us was harder than we thought. A month or so after we got together Tommy found out and told the whole team. Gradually the whole school found out. Gossip spreads like wildfire, especially in a town like Hawkins. 

During the weeks after we broke up, I started to think about our secret relationship.

He wasn’t trying to protect me. He was trying to protect his reputation. Steve might not show it but deep down he’s just like everyone else. He’s got insecurities too. He obsesses over anything negative that’s said about him, analyzing everything that others think is imperfect about him until he finds a way to change it.

That’s something I noticed sophomore year when we started to get a little closer.

He was kind to me, but he wasn’t perfect. I don’t know for sure but I think he still messed with underclassmen, bullying them for praise from Tommy and Carol. He wanted to be liked by everyone, especially those two assholes.

He was always going to pick them over me. 

“ Honey, this came in for you today. “ My mom breaks me out of my thoughts. 

I look up from my stack of paperwork. “ What? From who? “ My brows furrow in confusion. Who would send mail to my parents’ house? I haven’t lived here in years. 

“ It’s from Steve. “ My moms eyes scan over the stark white envelope. 

My heart sinks. 

What the fuck does he want? 

I haven’t seen or talked to him since graduation 7 years ago. What could he want with me? Last I heard he got a job at Family Video and Nancy broke up with him. 

He knows I’m here. He has to. Fucking Hawkins. When one person knows everyone knows. Mrs. Henderson must’ve told someone when I ran into her at the gas station. 

“ What ever happened to you and Steve? Do you both still talk? “ My mom asks curiously while handing over my mail. 

Oh right. I never told her. 

“ We fell out of touch. You know, life. " I shrug, hoping that's enough for her.

" Oh, that's so sad sweetie. I'm sorry. " She sends me a small sympathetic smile. " That's always hard when you lose touch with someone you love. " She gently pats my shoulder.

Love.

Steve didn't love me.

I send her a small smile, hoping to drop the topic. " It happens, ma. "

" Well, I'll you get to it. " She dismisses herself, leaving me to the letter in my hands.

I trace the sharp corners of the envelope. Should I open it? Do I want to?

I wonder what it says.

What could he have to say to me after all of these years? It couldn't be something worth my time. Not after the shit that happened in high school. Right?

But what if it is?

Fuck it. I'm curious.

I pull open the envelope and let the torn paper fall into my lap. A neatly folded letter greens me, the bright white stationary paper matching the envelope.

This is it. Here we go.

I pull open the letter. Dark blue pen lines starkly contrast the white paper. Steve's familiar handwriting fills a good portion of the page. At the bottom his squiggly signature lies, bold and exactly the same as I remember.

Y/N,

I hope this letter finds you. I heard you're back in town. I've been meaning to do this for a long time. I've debated writing to you for years. I didn't know if I had anything good enough to send to you.

I was an asshole to you. You didn't deserve how I broke up with you. I feel horrible about how I treated you. About how I let other people change my opinion and control my actions. I should've stood stronger with what I thought.

That's something I always loved about you. You didn't let other people sway your opinions. I'm sure you still don't. You thought for yourself.

You are so much braver than I am. You didn't compromise yourself for others.

I've thought about what happened for years. About how you must have felt.

I hope you're well. I hope you've been able to move on and you've continued to be yourself. I know I don't deserve to say that, I just wish you the best.

I wanted to explain to you why I did what I did. I owe it to you. I was selfish. I got caught up in the high school popularity shit. I know it's stupid. I wanted to be Hawkins High's main guy. I wanted the Prom King title. I wanted the attention.

I really did like you. You made me feel safe and understood. You were always patient and kind. You urged me to be me, even when I felt like caving under pressure. You liked me for me, not for who I was trying to be. You deserved better than me.

People started to talk. You know. You heard the rumors.

At first, I thought I could handle it. I thought it wouldn't bug me. I thought I could push past it all. I cracked. Tommy and Carol jumped on the wagon and it pushed me over the edge. I couldn't bare the thought of losing the respect I'd worked so hard to get. I couldn't handle the teasing I'd get from the guys after games or the looks Tommy'd send my way when he saw us together.

It was wrong. I didn't think about you. About how you must've felt and how you were handling everything that was going on. It was Senior Year. I should've held on. We would've been out of this shit hole in a few months anyway, I don't know why I didn't just ignore it all. That's one of my biggest regrets.

I've been in therapy for a few years now. I've worked past all that surface-level shallow shit. I really see just how much I hurt you, and for that I'm so sorry.

I don't expect you to forgive me. I just wanted you to know that you're the first girl I ever loved and I am so grateful for you. Our relationship sent me on a path to help myself, and for that I will always love you.

Thank you.

-Steve Harrington

P.S. The week before we broke up I was going to give this to you. I never did.

I glance down at the envelope in my lap and open it. At the bottom lays a shiny silver necklace. A small gem, my birthstone, lays in the center. It glimmers in the light. It's beautiful.

I turn the gem over and spot a small engraving on the back.

SH +Y/N

For a moment I'm torn.

Should I write him back? Should we talk?

Part of me does miss him. I miss his laugh. His playful teasing. The way he looked at me.

No.

He hurt me. A lot.

He can't just send a letter and make it better. Why didn't he talk to me in person if this really weighed on him as much as he says it did? Why didn't he call me?

I don't need him. I'm fine. I've been fine without him for years. I'm not going to let him back into my life because he feels bad about his actions and insecurities.

I left Hawkins for a reason. I needed to get away from Steve. I needed him out of my life.

I'm not going to let him back in for his sake.

I don't need him.

I stand up, taking the papers and necklace in my hand. I walk over to the trashcan near my dresser. Without a second thought, I drop everything into the can.

The necklace makes a small clunking sound as it hits the bottom of my empty can.

The rustling of papers quiets and so does my pounding heart.

I'm fine on my own.

(Do we like this ending? Or should I try to make another part? )

Taglist: @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @queen-apple24

[heartshapedbubble]

Hi! I hope your having a good day/night wherever you are 🫶

I was wondering if you could maybe write some friends to lovers head cannons with Ganji and Eli?

hello!! you too anon💖 (like. 5 months later but oh well :c )

this is such a cute prompt HEEHEE >W<

ganji gupta and eli clark friends to lovers hcs🏏🦉

ganji gupta🏏

he likes company but doesn't like initiating hangouts. he's a man of few words, most of them reserved for when there's really no other option other than to communicate verbally

whenever you two sit together he always gets a bit restless and fidgety. if you try to bring up the topic he'll just brush it off, saying it's nothing to worry about

he can't EVER discern if he likes somebody or if he's just anxious and it literally swallows him whole. thinking about verbalizing what he feels or physical closeness makes him feel a bit dizzy so he just pushes these thoughts to the back of his brain until they eventually resurface again

gets a tad distant, being a bit rude and brash as a defense mechanism

shows his care by being (over)protective, especially in matches. when he sees you in danger it's like he's seeing red, leaving hunters bruised from his aggressive swings. he says he's overprotective in general, that you're not special and that he treats you like he would anyone else, but it hurts to say that when he thinks the exact opposite

confess first. or, at least, hint at doing so. it's not gonna get to his head unless you say it first, directly, no buts or ifs - only then will he realize that hey, maybe i should stop denying myself romantic attraction?

your first few dates are a bit awkward. you two are a *thing* now, but he doesn't understand the new boundaries your relationship sets. is it really alright to hold your waist in front of everyone?

just give him some time until he gets comfortable, it takes time for him to drop the stoic persona

his first kisses are sloppy. he initiates them slowly and without much confidence, hands trembling as they bring you closer and he plants his warm lips against the corner of your mouth - he still doesn't dare to go lips-to-lips. they make for a good laugh afterwards, him nervously grinning at his own anxiety.

is almost shocked when you return the favor, maybe even more eagerly than him. slowly kiss his temples, rub the back of his head with care and he's paralyzed under your hands, his mind wandering away beneath your tender touches

his most cherished moments with you are spent in complete silence. the feeling of unconditional love contained within a comfortable silence is indispensable, and just the fact that he doesn't have to strain himself with small talk and expressing things he can't actually describe feels great

eli clark🦉

victory or loss, no matter his mood, whenever you call upon eli clark his head turns towards you in a second. his face is completely covered - save for his mouth and nose - but his lips are always curled into a soft smile

the cloaked seer enjoys solitude and spends most of his free time in it. he's softspoken, but always a tad gloomy and breathless

yet it doesn't take much to creep under his skin. a few kind words will quickly put him at ease and, encouraged by your own openness, he won't hesitate to be straightforward with you

spending so much time pondering and overthinking, he can't help but notice his feelings towards you. well, they might not be feelings by the traditional definition, but what other word can describe the tingles he feels when he hears your voice from behind, when you creep upon him? or the surge of heat in his abdomen while he's slowly making his way towards you, watching your expression change through brooke's eyes?

he confesses first. definetly. it'll take him a few days to devise a plan, to find the best spot and time to confess and phrase his thoughts, but it wouldn't take long during your friendship for it to happen. he's a bit of a romantic at heart and can easily get swayed by affection

most of his ways of expressing affection are through small PDA. tenderly holding your hand or your waist, rubbing your shoulders after a tense match or holding you from the back. he's a literal heat machine! has so much layers on and it feels really good to lay back against him in response. you can easily wrap the remaining fabric around yourself, too

only takes off his hood and blindfold a bit further into the relationship. he's so used to them masking his true appearance that taking them off in front of others makes him feel vulnerable

asks the WEIRDEST questions and says the most random stuff on dates. literally no filter. who knows where his mind actually goes while you talk to him?

likes when you get touchy with him :,) rub his hips (they're kinda sore and he often has to crack them like knuckles, it's hard to carry so many bags and pouches around his waist ok!!), mess with his hair, trace your fingers around his face, whisper him the dumbest things up-close into his ear, hell, even bite him if you want to! has insomnia anyways and any kind of stimulation helps him fall asleep. he just turns into a happy human blob

[cochineal-leviat]

Sweet Dreams, Stardust

Okay, so I have a lot of feelings about In Stars and Time. But let me say first, wow, this game irreversibly changed my brain network. For anyone who is considering buying this game, please do. I don't think I've had a story touch my heart and mind like this for a long time. And that goes without mentioning the stunning visuals and entertaining battle system. (Be careful, though, because this game handles heavy topics regarding mental health)

If you're still hung up on buying it but are curious, there is a free demo on Steam if you like to try.

Thank you, @insertdisc5, for this gem of a game. I will be turning it around in my head like a microwaveable gourmet meal for months to come.

Technically the illustration has no spoilers (unless you count Siffrin having a good nap as a spoiler). But I will be going into heavy spoiler territory under the keep reading since I need to get my thoughts on this game off my chest.

And a monochrome version because you know me, I can't help myself. Even in black and white art pieces, I will put in some colour.

And a very tiny Loop

Initially, I was going to do a piece with a theatre stage and the cast (Siffrin, Mirabelle, Isabeau, Odile, Bonnie and the head house maiden) taking a bow and finally leaving the spectacle to a life not controlled by a script and Wish Craft. But it was more fitting to put my feelings into creating a peaceful scene. Like, oof, I needed this very badly. I used sepia to make the painting warmer and added some more details like headcanons. The stars/colours might be remnants of Siffrin's transformation. Or maybe they were always there, but he never paid attention to it. Who knows.

I'm going to keep this brief. Otherwise, this post will take way too long.

I adore Siff's character. It's perfect for a game and narrative such as this. I saw a post not long ago on Tumblr going into depth about how their role as the rogue and not the hero works so well, so I won't linger on it for long. But how they would rather listen and fade into the background perfectly aligns with the player's experience of being the silent observer. (And the nodding off that changes into zoning out. It took me way too long to realise that small but essential narrative change) Oh, and the portrait change! It flew over my head until I was staring at the game menu. I was so confident Siffrin had a mischievous grin and not a frown. I always feel slightly surprised when the party asks for Siff's opinion or mentions that they have been too quiet. I felt Siffrin's excitement like my own when he got excited at finding clues to end the nightmare they were in. So I knew it would end up falling on their face because they were too excited. I just had this bad gut feeling the whole time during Act 4.

And oh boy, speaking off acts. I thought it would have been the standard 3. Boy, I was wrong. Whenever I felt I was nearing the end, I was thrown back at the start with more mysteries than answers. It made exploring the game intriguing since there is almost no information about it online (at the time of writing this post). There is the Discord, but I didn't know about it until I finished it.

This game has a lot of secrets, and I had a lot of fun uncovering them. The looping mechanic works so well in discovering little details and further leads. (even though my stubborn arse kept trying to do everything in the least amount of loops as possible. I thought the ending would be different if I exceeded a 100. My final number is 59. I am still not sure if I should be mad about it not being a rounded number like 60 or that I went over the 50 threshold)

However, it is a good thing that only some mysteries were solved. Like, what's up with colours in this world? Everyone sees in black and white, and the idea of shades and colours is only spoken of in scientific studies. They do exist and are not a part of the disaster that happened to Siffrin and their land. But there is definitely something mysterious about it. I adore how the dialogue reflects this, as the characters do not speak of shades or colours. Isabeau expresses surprise to see a streak of red colouring the sky in Act 6. It makes you think about how colour is perceived and how you describe it. (The lore inside this game is immaculate. I eat this shit up)

We never find out the name of the country north of Vanguard or what it was like. We can only infer that the beaches had black sand, with shells that shine like stars, high-reaching mountains, forests and plains. Which is vague and yet intriguing enough to make you wonder. It connected me to Siff and King because I also wanted to know. I was desperate to know. I needed to know. But in the end, we never will know because that is not the story's point. Siffrin even says in the game, that King should let go because he is hurting everyone and everything, including himself, in his desperation to preserve Vanguard. This is all the more ironic when Siff accidentally does the same with his family and the loops. I might gush more about what the country might be like and their technology in another post. This game makes me want to theorise. This is the first time I've wanted to write and post theories. ISAT fucked me up good.

Which, by the way, was genius. Siffrin and King are mirrors of each other. Siff does not have King's disastrous ambition, but their love/obsession will be the downfall of both of them. They have more than being each other's countrymen in common, and I imagine Siff despises that.

I love the fact King's question to Siffrin before the showdown was/could never be answered. Usually, in a game such as this, you must figure out how to solve everything, especially for the big bad. But that was never the goal. King is a delusional monster who will not stop before achieving his dream. He will raze everything to the ground and hurt many people because he must succeed. It is what he desires. Nay, the universe wills it. What a witless excuse that can easily be made into someone's truth. Especially to somebody who is driven mad with grief.

How King's character's done is so excellent. Because, at first, I wasn't scared of him at all. He was just the big bad, and I felt nothing much but the glory of victory when Siffrin outsmarted him by looping and making sure Mirabelle learned the shield spell that would protect the party from freezing in time. But each time you fight him, you get more frustrated until Siff figures that talking to him might be fruitful. It does, but unfortunately, you and Siffrin leave yourself emotionally and mentally vulnerable. King stops being a one-dimensional villain and changes into an actual person. Someone you can sympathise with and possibly mend peace with without fighting. You and Siffrin opened his heart for a kindred spirit and got hurt.

King stopped being a monster and became human. And while monsters are wretched, humans have intent behind their cruelty. I felt so betrayed, so angry, but most of all - terrified. I felt it when Siffrin spiralled when fighting King again after their actions caused such a catastrophic turn of events for Bonnie. Every time after that, the fight with King felt tense and nerve-wracking in a dreadful way. Because even victory could not soothe the dread I felt. (The track 'It's finally over" will forever haunt me. I already feel anxious whenever it cycles to that when I listen to the playlist)

He was not, however, the final villain, even though everything that happened was King's fault. You were always your greatest enemy (or Siffrin in this case, since you are supposed to be Siffrin). I never could have guessed that the whole reason why Siffrin could not escape the loops was because Siff accidentally wished to never let go of their friends. This reminds me of Modaka Magica, where (spoilers for the OG anime) Homura goes back in time so much that the universe ties itself around Modoka, making her a waiting egg whose wish and magic will be massive when she becomes a magical girl. The one thing Homura was trying to prevent.

(Siffrin and Homura are identical in that sense. Shy characters who are loyal to a fault but are rendered into something cold, bitter and cutting by their traumatic experiences. Only Siff has people who care about them and would do anything to save him, too, whereas Homura never lets go, making the world a worse place to live in. Yes, I did go into doomed Yuri. That anime lived in my mind rent-free in my mind for years)

The Head House-maiden not being the villain was also a great touch. I am used to the apparent antagonist turning out not to be the big bad and the trusted, friendly character ending up being the evil one. Twist villains no longer work when everyone expects them to be villains.

That was my biggest theory as I played. The second biggest being that Loop is someone who enjoys Siffrin's suffering. I am so glad that was also not the case. They are apathetic but not cruel. Never intentionally, anyway. They were like the player, urging Siffrin to go deeper into the mystery to solve it. Ultimately, I chose and made cold and cruel decisions simply because I wanted to see what would happen. So yeah, I warmed up to this cosmic star thing as the game went on and even started trusting them. Act 5 really is a punch in the gut. I am so sorry, Loop. Thank you for coming through in the end.

Oh man, this is so long, and I haven't even gone into the main cast. I will leave that for another post. They are such great characters, as are the people of Dormant and the House. (Don't think I don't see the wordplay in this game. Very clever)

Going into this game completely blind was the best experience I could have had. I felt anxious, happy and scared so severely that my neurons were rearranged. I don't know if there are more endings (aside from the obvious action of attacking Odile in the True(?) ending of the game), but I am taking a break from it to make art and write for this game before I dive back into despair-o-land.

Anywho, thank you for coming this far and reading my ramblings. Have a fantastic day or evening further! o(*'▽`*)ブ

[arahdow]

SHY AROUND YOU

Pairing. Knuckles x reader

Content. fem!reader. lil angst, hurt-comfort, knuckles having trouble with his emotions. kissing but nothing too sensual or anything.

Word count. 1.3 k

A/N. Not beta read, we die like men. Also, again, sorry if it's too occ! I had the time of my life writing this sjdjs (it's 4:51 am atm send help)

At the distance, you could see the echidna and the bat talking to each other. Rogue was smiling and occasionally pushing his shoulder, a playful glint on her lips, as he seemed to not mind her closeness. You frowned at their interaction.

It wasn’t the first time it happened, it actually became a usual thing. Rogue speaking with Knuckles about her life, him telling her stories about his past, like old time friends. He always said she was his best friend, even before you two met. It was sweet at first, knowing he had such a reliable someone to hold on to. But not right now. Right now you were fuming.

You and Knuckles have been a couple since a couple of months, both of you getting used to each other’s mannerisms and habits, it was something you really treasured as you spent a good year or maybe more, trying to open your way into his heart. In the end, he let you build a little nest in his mind, as he kept thinking more and more of you every day, and not the typical worry, no, it was something beyond that. Something that wanted you close to him at all times. To protect you when he was around, and if he wasn't you were in his thoughts until he sees you again.

So, with a lot of effort and patience, he explained his feelings and you ended up catching on what he was talking about. Needless to say, you spent the whole evening together, speaking about deeper topics and stuff. It was such a sweet memory.

But it’s been days, even a few weeks since the last time he has kissed you. At first it was fine, you were busy with tasks around the island, and Knuckles was busy guarding the emerald, you barely saw each other and you were okay with that. You knew it was a temporary thing and there was nothing to worry about.

Even then, the thing that made your heart grieve in the worst way was how shy and reserved he became since you don’t spend much time together anymore.

It’s like you returned to base one again.

You were sad, of course, worried. And even then you showed empathy, knowing he needed space and maybe time to grow closer to you again. But seeing him right now being his extroverted self with Rogue ticked you in a bad way. He seemed genuinely happy. He laughed at her comments and didn’t seem to mind her hand touching him. It made your blood boil.

Standing from the beach chair you were sitting on, you started walking towards your shared home. The whole crew went to the beach to rest for a bit after the week’s activities, and you thought it was a good idea to try and make an advance on your boyfriend. But right now, you were just pissed off and wanted to sleep the anger away.

As you entered your home, the first thing you saw was two rocks on the top counter. It was the two rocks you both chose as a token from the day you both became lovers. One was a reddish stone with white undertones and the other was a shimmering one. It made your eyes sting just remembering how nice those times were. It was hard noticing how sad times got.

Getting close to the rocks, you took the reddish one, that symbolized Knuckles, and felt your eyes water. Your emotions were caught red handed when you felt a presence behind you. Wiping the few tears away, you left the rock on it’s place and started to go to your room, when a big hand stopped you, holding you from your forearm.

You whined a bit, not because of pain, but because you missed his touch more than ever and this is the first time he has touched you in days. It was pathetic.

“What’s wrong?” You heard his low voice, and something inside you stirred. Oh you were so in love with the oblivious echidna and there was nothing you could do about it.

“Nothing…” The voice came out in a thread. You winced listening how broken you sounded.

“You left, why?”

And you wanted to punch him so bad right then and there, but you knew better. He was so muscular, your hand would hurt first than his body if you were to punch him. Shaking your head, you looked at him in the eye. “What’s the matter with you?”

He looked at you confused. “Me?”

You choked on a humorless laugh. “Yeah, you seemed pretty occupied with Rogue, I didn’t want to intrude…”

“What’s this about?”

A groan left your throat. Time to let it all out. “Knuckles you’re not the same. You haven’t been the same. You’re not the guy I wanted to be with a few days ago.” You started to breathe fast. “You’ve changed. You feel like you don’t love me anymore. You don’t say it, you don’t show it, and I can’t handle that kind of treatment..."

Taking a deep breath, you continued, speaking fast and breathy. "What do you think it feels when other girl can have all of your loving self and not me?" The air was soon leaving your lungs making you feel like burning. Choking on a sob you didn’t know was there, you continued. “I’m sorry, but there’s space for one girl inside of your heart and if it’s not me then, what are we doing?”

The echidna stood there, motionless, and you didn’t know if it was a good signal. You thought he wanted space.

Trying to leave, you yanked your arm. But it was no use, he had such a strong grip on you. Looking at the floor, he seemed deep in thought. He pressed his lips, motionless. His breathing was easy and calculated. Almost too calm.

“I don’t…” He started, then shaking his head. “I’d never…” His eyes met yours. “I… Don’t… Why…” His body seemed composed, but in his eyes, you saw fear. And the tremor in his voice confirmed that he was scared. Of losing you, perhaps. “I don’t know what to do…” He said rapidly.

You sighed, walking slowly to the couch on the living room making him follow with short steps. When both of you were close, you sat down and made him mirror your actions.

“Knux…”

“I don’t know how to make it better, help me, how can I…” He looked at the floor with furrowed eyebrows.

“First of all, don’t be so hard on yourself.” You said, breathing in slowly, trying to make him follow your inhaling and exhaling. “Second, tell me how are you feeling, what are you feeling?”

Silence reigned between the two of you. The only thing to be heard was both of your breathing.

“I feel bad. I feel angry, and sad, and like the worst boyfriend…” He said with an annoyed grunt.

“Now, what would be good thing to say?” You ask. It was like a mechanical thing, but it always helped him with his unknown emotions. And he loved you for understanding him and helping him even in these moments.

Knuckles turned a bit and took both your hands, he kissed them and sighed. “I’m sorry, darling.” He looked down. “Rogue is just a friend, I always see her as my big sister, helping me with things regarding of our relationship… But I didn’t think how that might’ve looked from your perspective.” He pouted a bit making you smile lightly, suddenly your mind imagining a lost Knuckles asking Rogue for dating advice.

“You ask her about us?”

“Of course!” he exclaimed. “I wanted to know how to make a special dinner for us, you know, it's gonna be our anniversary soon… It was a surprise but it wouldn’t be fun if you break up with me before I can even start to plan it.” He said sheepishly.

A smile broke into your lips. “You’re so silly, but also cute.” you said, holding a hand out to caress the fur on his cheeks. “We can plan it together!”

“But what about the surprise? Rogue said it was indispensable to have a surprise on a special dinner.” The echidna complained.

You thought. “Well, we can give each other a special gift, what about that?”

Knuckles thought for a bit before he nodded. “Agreed!”

Both of you smiled at each other. One of his hands traveled to your cheek, caressing the skin under his covered palm. Looking at him lovingly, you kissed the inside of his palm, trying to convey your feelings with your lips.

He seemed deep in thought, when suddenly his hand cupped your cheek firmly and started pulling you towards him. His face coming close to yours, watching intently at your sparkling eyes. With a swift movement, you got closer and cut the space in between the two of you, kissing his lips.

The echidna gasped lightly in between the kiss but soon reciprocated sweetly.

The kiss was brief. You pulled away and he looked at you enamoured. "I feel my stomach fuzzy."

Giggling at his words, you nuzzled on his chest fur and smiled. "I missed kissing you too, Knux."

[venusbby]

i just feel like being itoshi rin's bestfriend is a whole new experience.

there is something about being rin's closest person that brings you a feeling of warmth and pride altogether. knowing each other for years, you were aware that the mighty itoshi rin was selective when it came to people he wanted to spend time with. sure, he had many friends, he was a professional player after all- but even he can't help but admit that nobody could compare with you.

maybe it's because to him, you aren't really a friend at all.

you're much more.

and he definitely does not want to admit that. so he does not.

you, on the other hand, have a hard time trying to figure it all out. one part of you thought in a more simple way.

he's just closer with me because we've known each other for so long, that's all it is.

and then there's the other part of you that is greedy and aching and yearning to get some sort of sign that he's interested.

you're not expecting much. this is itoshi rin we're talking about. he just doesn't do any of that stuff. it's crazy that you're even thinking about the topic of dating when all these years you haven't heard a single word from him about having a simple crush on someone. but again, this is itoshi rin. he doesn't say the things he doesn't want to say. he doesn't show the feelings that he doesn't want to show.

you scolded yourself every year for not getting over your little crush on your bestfriend. unfortunately for you, it went on increasing until your heart was overflowing with care and adoration for a guy who seemed absolutely clueless about romance and the wildly trending best friends to lovers trope in almost every recent book or movie.

in your case, the best friends to lovers trope feels a little less sad because rin never really showed any interest in other people.

oh, little did you know. but you're still glad that the person writing your story didn't pour the cup full of jealousy into your life.

it's almost comical how stupid the both of you are.

a hopeless romantic and her hopelessly unaware bestfriend.

the stupidity goes for a few more months. sneaky glances, touches that feel like a spark, those short words of affection that rin manages when you're at the lowest and oh, the birthday.

the stupidity finally stops at rin's birthday.

ten minutes left to 12 AM. you were trying to drive as slowly and as patiently as you could to rin's apartment. arriving early would just ruin the surprise. you needed to get out of the car when there were just 8 minutes left, so that by the time you reached the high floor of the apartment complex it would leave you with 5 minutes to prepare yourself and the box of cake in your sweaty hands, waiting outside his door. then you would enter when there's just a minute left.

only rin deserved this type of difficult and serious planning.

you felt the pride for being able to think so much and felt extremely smart for calculating this plan accurately. however, the feelings were quick to drain out and be replaced by nervousness.

he wouldn't be mad, no. you just didn't want to make him feel awkward.

rin never really made a big deal about his birthdays. that never stopped him from letting his teammates and friends from blue lock enjoy the day, though. every year, he booked some place they could spend time, eat, drink, party, whatever. he didn't care much, just watched bachira and isagi wreck havoc. as long as he had you sitting next to him, laughing at his friends' antics, he was okay. he also liked seeing you happy. his chest bloomed with some unfamiliar feeling every time you said that you were happy because he was happy.

one minute left.

you quietly entered with the spare key rin had given you.

for emergencies.

somehow birthdays counted, right?

the lights were off, and you felt a little dumb. it would be really embarrassing if rin wasn't even home. maybe even more embarrassing if rin didn't expect you to come at all and told you to go back home or something.

from the living room, you could still see rays of faint warm light making its way into the hallways, escaping through the doorway of his bedroom. judging by the low sound effects, you guessed he was watching another movie or tv show.

one thing your dumbass forgot to plan. how the heck were you supposed to call him into the living room without scaring him?

fuck it, you thought.

"rin, im home, come out here please." you tried, trying your best to sound as less alerting as you could, hoping you didn't scare the guy. from the way the sound of the movie quickly stopped after your voice, you grimaced.

quick, heavy footsteps followed as itoshi rin entered his living room. his expression was a mix between a scowl and a frown- a face only he could make. you paused before you could even try to explain.

paired with the handsome, annoyed face was the absence of a shirt.

what were you going to say again?

well, it didn't matter. rin spoke before you could even adjust to the unfamiiar view.

"what the fuck."

"uh, look-" you managed.

"no, what the actual fuck."

you pursed your lips in an attempt to put your mind to work, to come up with something- anything. those teal eyes felt vibrant even in the darkness of the living room with just more of the golden light from his room passing through- because of the bedroom door now being opened all the way. you shifted from one foot to another. he continued to stare, his eyes slowly travelling down to the cake you were holding.

"happy birthday."

itoshi rin, your bestfriend, exhaled.

two strides and he was standing right in front of you, expression unreadable, and maybe you were hallucinating, because in the slight darkness you thought you saw him smile.

"y/n, you're insane." he breathed out, running a hand through his dark, disheveled hair. rin's face felt a little warm when he realized how he looked in this situation. this is by far the most out of pocket thing you've done, in his opinion.

for you though, this reaction was somewhat better than what you'd expected. you bit your lip to hold back a smile and set the box down on the neatly kept coffee table next to you. "i might be."

it was already three minutes past twelve. but you didn't care anymore.

while you carefully removed the cake out and placed it on the table, rin turned the lights on, still not recovered from your sudden appearance.

"shit," you realized when the brightness of the light hit your eyesight, "i forgot the fucking candles in the car. sorry."

now as unbelievable as it sounds, it was rin's turn to hold back a smile as he muttered quietly, "stupid."

it was even harder to focus on the cake without candles in front of you, when itoshi rin was sitting next to you on the couch, shirtless.

silence filled the room, and none of you made a move.

why would you do anything anyway? wasn't it rin's job to cut the cake?

apparently, you seemed more interesting than the cake, because rin was staring at you instead. you stuttered underneath his gaze. "what, you want me to sing the song for you?"

he huffed, attempting to fix his hair so he could stop thinking about your sleepy eyes. god damn it. he didn't know how to deal with this, with the erratic beating of his heart.

"thanks. for this."

itoshi rin was malfunctioning. and you were the cause for that.

to that, you managed a genuine smile. it was nice to hear.

"it's nothing. i did it because i care." you said quietly, fiddling with your fingers, eyes focused on the cake. you don't think you can handle looking at him. it might tempt you to pour out all your feelings. you could save them for another day, just not his birthday.

the mess of your hair kept together by a hairband, your heavy eyelids and the nervous fumbling of your fingers, rin knew you meant more. you wouldn't do so much for him despite being so tired if you just cared. there was only one option he had, to show you how thankful he was.

you're out of your short anxious trance when his bare, strong arms slowly but confidently pulled you into him.

the shock doesn't last for long and you find yourself melting in his embrace, face resting against his shoulder as your arms made their way to his back, to hold him tighter.

the cake must be satisfied with this outcome as well because it doesn't complain as you both stay in the same position for quite a few minutes.

rin felt your breath against his collarbone and sighed.

"stay the night. i can tell you're tired."

you don't deny it, but still whisper, "let's eat the cake first."

he finally let out a soft chuckle, feeling relieved that you couldn't see him as he mumbled something along the lines of "that's why i love you."

wait.

did he say love?

[maltesejjong]

Its my first time putting a request so I'll try to sum it up!!

Could you make a bangchan x f!reader? Where yn and Chan have been trying for a child for abt 2 years they've had 3 or 4 miscarriages and after a long time, they have 2 beautiful twins!! (You don't have to do it if you don't want to!! Your health comes first 💗)

OMG ilysm for this. Thank you for being my first request, and thank you for trusting me to be your first request! Before I go any further, though, I want to touch on a few things with this one. First off: this is a very real thing that doesn’t get talked about enough . Miscarriages happen and there is no shame. If you have ever lost a baby before, please know that you are stronger than you think, and that you did nothing to deserve such a loss. Secondly: this is a major fear of mine. I want nothing more than to be a mother. I have had three moms throughout my life and I want to be able to give someone the love and protection the first two didn’t give me. I’m also the mom friend so yeah lmao. Finally, to all the moms out there, or those who would have been moms if not for this loss: thank you for all you do. You deserve more than what you have because you truly do the most unappreciated task in the world. You bring children into the world and give them life, regardless of if you lost the baby, there was still a life force that you created. That is an amazing accomplishment. I apologize ahead of time if any of that seemed insensitive but please know you are loved and appreciated. You are not alone🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

ONTO THE POST!

Warnings: mentions of miscarriages, that’s pretty much it. You’re married to Chan, afab!reader. Pure fluff! Oh, and mentions of girl dad Chan idk bout y’all but girl dad Chan needs a warning because he’s TOO DAMN MUCH ISTG HE IS A GIRL DAD

There’s a time skip bc I was lazy and wasn’t sure what to write as filler lol I’m sorry😭😭

Wc: Idek I didn’t count

Enjoy 😊

꒰ঌ(⃔ ⌯' '⌯)⃕໒꒱

You sigh and drop your head back to rest on the cabinet behind you. It had been almost two whole hours since you laid the damp stick on the counter and slid down to sit on the cool tiled floor. You had been feeling nauseous lately, but chalked it up to something you ate.

Until you realized you’re late.

By three weeks.

Three. Whole. Weeks.

You’re never late.

So, of course, you decided to take a pregnancy test.

While your husband was at work.

It’s not that you don’t want Chan to know. It’s just… after so long, after trying for this long, all the disappointment and heartache that came with each failed pregnancy, you learned to avoid the topic of kids. Specifically kids of your own. As much as you both want kids, the hardship of discovering each miscarriage broke your spirits.

So you’ve learned not to get his hopes up. Which is why you keep a secret stash of pregnancy tests. Because no matter what, you always get your hopes up when you realize what is most likely going on with your body.

You close your eyes, trying to relax your mind when your phone buzzes, bringing you out of your thoughts.

💙channie💙: hey princess. I’m on my way home

You: alright babe

💙channie💙: want anything from the store?

You: ice cream?

💙channie💙: ofc baby. I’ll see you soon love you

You: love you too. Drive safe💞

Sighing, you put your phone down, knowing you need to get this over with before he gets home. You slide your thumb over the diamond on your left hand before pushing yourself up to look at the results of the test.

“Shit,” you mutter. “I knew it.”

Four months later

You let out a sigh as the doctor spreads the cold gel across your belly, which, despite being four months pregnant, has stayed suspiciously flat. Hence why Chan never caught on.

“How’s the morning sickness?” Dr. Kim asks.

“Gone,” you say.

“Any general nausea?”

You shake your head. “Only when I sit or stand up too fast.”

He nods and hums to himself. “Any cramping? Abnormal bleeding?”

“None,” you happily reply.

His eyes flick up to yours. “Have you told your husband yet?”

You close your eyes. “No,” you whisper. “And please don’t hint to him.”

“Like I would,” the doctor scoffs.

Dr. Kim, as he is known at work, is one of your closest friends. The only time you ever call him Dr anything is when you’re in his office. Outside these walls, he’s just Seungmin to you. Your best friend since high school. He’s also the first person you tell when you’ve gotten pregnant in the past… and the first to know when you lost the baby.

“I can’t tell him, Min,” you say quietly.

“Why’s that?”

You feel your eyes start to burn. “What if I lose another one?”

Seungmin stops what he’s doing and grabs your hand. “Y/n, do you realize how long it’s been? It’s been four months. In the past, it only lasted half of that. I think it’s safe to tell him. You’re more than halfway through your pregnancy. Doesn’t he deserve to know?”

You bite your lip. “I don’t want to get his hopes up, though. It would crush him.”

“And it wouldn’t crush you?”

You blink back tears.

“Y/nnie, this is why you’re married. In sickness and in health, remember? You’re with each other through thick and thin. If this is gonna crush him, then let it crush you too. It’s okay to go through that. I understand protecting him, but have you ever considered that he wants to do the same to you, but he can’t? Let him in. Let it hurt if it ends up hurting. But you’ll heal together.”

“Minnie… as a professional… do you…?”

He understands your unfinished question. “Yes, love,” he says, eyes softening. “I think it’ll make it. So tell him.”

You take a deep breath and nod. “I will.”

*************

You feel something tickle your shoulder and sleepily roll away from it. But it returns, traveling up to your neck.

“Mmm,” you groan tiredly.

“Morning, beautiful,” Chan whispers against your skin.

You roll over to face him. “Morning,” you reply, feeling a loopy grin stretch across your face. You sigh contentedly when his hand slides up your waist and rests there, holding you close. You peek up at him, recognizing the glimmer in his eyes. “What?”

His dimples appear. “Nothing,” he instantly replies. “You’re just so pretty.”

You squint at him. “Is that all?”

“What? I can’t call you pretty?”

“Christopher Chan, I know that look in your eyes. Out with it.”

He props himself up on one elbow, half hovering over you. “I was thinking…”

“Oh boy, that’s never good,” you tease, reaching up to tangle your fingers in his soft black hair.

He closes his eyes in bliss for a moment, than takes a deep breath. “What do you think about adopting?”

You go still. “What?”

“Adoption. I don’t know I just think maybe it’s time to add another member to the family?”

You bite your lip. “But… baby. We already have another addition to the family.”

He looks at you, obviously confused off his ass. “We do?”

You nod, steeling yourself. “Well… it might take a bit but… yeah we do…”

“Love, what are you talking about? It’s not a very long process. Did you pick one out without telling me?”

You feel your eyes widen as you realize he’s not talking about the same thing you are. “Channie, what are you on about?”

“I asked you first.”

You shake your head. “Not until you spill.”

“A dog, babe. What else?”

“A… a dog?” You ask in exasperation. “I thought you were talking about a child, Christopher.”

“No…?” You watch his eyebrows join together in thought. “Wait. Back up. We already have another addition? What is that supposed to mean?”

Shit. “Umm…” you start to consider saying you actually did pick out a dog already. “Nothing.”

“No no no no no. Nah-uh. Y/n. What did you mean?”

You shake your head, refusing to answer.

“Fine then.” His hands meet your shoulders and he pushes you into your back, hovering over you. “You don’t wanna talk? Fine. Then I’m not getting up.” And he plops down on top of you, dead weight.

Of course, it hurts. Hurts even more considering you have an extra little someone residing in you. “Shut,” you yelp. “Chan get off.”

There’s something in your tone that makes him shoot up. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

You shake your head. “Not… not me…”

“Then who…” as his voice trails off, so do his eyes, until they land on your stomach. “Fuck. Wait. No.” He looks up at you. “No. Baby. What?”

You bite your lip and nod. “Yes.”

“Shit. I…” he places a hand on your stomach. “I— I could’ve hurt you,” he whispers, staring down at your tummy.

“Baby, look at me. Please?” He does and you cup his face in your hands. “It’s okay. I’m okay. It’s alright.”

He bites his lip. “Are… are you sure?”

You nod.

“How long?”

“Four… four months,” you whisper.

He blinks. Five times. “What?”

You nod. “I had an appointment with Minnie and he said everything looks fine. He said that I just have a late developing baby bump. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I just didn’t want us to get our hopes up… But Min said that since it’s been so long and I’m already more than halfway there…”

Chan’s eyes light up. “There’s a chance?”

“A very high one. You aren’t mad?”

“Mad?”

“That I didn’t tell you sooner.”

He shakes his head. “Baby. No. I’m not mad love. I understand your hesitation to tell me. Truly.”

You blink. “Why are you so calm right now?” You bury your face in his arm, which is still planted next to your head. “I feel like I’m freaking out and I want to cry and… God I don’t even know.”

He presses a kiss to your hair. “Because I know freaking out won’t help you and staying calm is the best way to process this.”

You sigh. “Why are you so perfect?”

“Just part of the charm. Besides, I have two princesses to take care of; I can’t let myself be anything less than that.”

You turn to face him. “Two?” You ask, raising your eyebrow.

He smiled sheepishly. “I feel like it’s gonna be a girl.”

You hmmm in thought. “What if it’s a boy?”

“Then I’ll still be nothing less than perfect. I’m just saying I think it’ll be a girl.”

“I think you just want to be a girl dad,” you tease lovingly.

He blushes slightly. “Maybe.” He leans forward and nuzzles your neck. “I think id be a great girl dad.”

You kiss the side of his head. “I think you’d be a great anything dad.”

“We got this,” he whispers against your neck. “We always do.”

You wrap your arms around him. “You still want to adopt?”

He chuckles. “Babe, you just told me we’re having a baby, and now you want to add a puppy in the mix?”

You shrug. “Why not? We’re growing our family, right?”

He nods against you.

“So then let’s grow it.”

@linoalwaysknows Tysm again for submitting the request

[oneshotnewbie]

Authors note: Okay, I have no idea if you'll like it but the idea came out of nowhere and was buzzing around in my head. I told Skylar and she said I should write it, so… you'll get to read it too, of course. Have fun ♥ Can you tell that I'm really into Criminal Minds recently? No? That's good

⚠️Trigger Warning for the whole series⚠️ This one-shot includes the topic of death and alcohol consumption and those plots are presented. If this triggers you too easily or you just can´t handle the subject, I urge you NOT to read this work. I am NOT embellishing this topic under any circumstance. Read at your own risk.

The apartment was dark, only the faint and dull glow of the street lamps outside filtered through the half-drawn curtains. The air smelled of stale alcohol, and the half-empty glass on the coffee table spoke of a night that had gone on too long. Emily Prentiss sat slumped on her couch, her head in her hands. The bottle of whiskey was almost empty, and the dull ache in her heart seemed to be the only reason she felt anything at all. Her head was buzzing, the world around her was blurring, but her feelings were not easily numbed.

Her hand shook as she reached for the bottle again and tipped it. The last drops fell heavily into the glass, but it was not enough. She drank, but the bitterness that burned in her throat was nothing compared to what raged in her heart.

"You can't just run away, Em." Your voice, calm and familiar, rang out softly from the silence beside her.

Emily froze, her fingers clutching the bottle. She slowly turned her head to the side. Your smile was gentle, your eyes looked at her with understanding and warmth that she knew so well.

She felt her throat tighten. She blinked a few times, hoping that the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes wouldn't fall. "Y/n.." her voice broke. Her voice was rough from drunkenness and the sadness that she couldn't shake off. The guilt burned in her chest like fire that wouldn't go out. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see how you were doing," you answered, your eyes piercing Emily as if you could read her every thought, your hand sliding over hers. "You don't let anyone get close to you. Not even now. You don't have to fight like this, my love. You don't have to go through this alone."

Emily snorted bitterly. She shook her head and drank, desperately trying to drown out the words she didn't want to hear. "I'm fine," her voice broke again.

"That's a lie, and you know it." Your calm voice held her tight, pulling her back to the reality she was so desperately trying to escape. "You drink because you don't want to talk about it."

She closed her eyes for a moment. The room seemed to spin, and she clung to the arm of the couch as if it was the only thing that connected her to the here and now. "There's nothing to say."

"Em.." Your voice sounded more patient than she deserved and you tilted your head slightly to the side, the gentle smile fading. "You can't run from yourself forever."

"What do you know?" Emily's words were harsh, a desperate attempt to fight back. "I failed. I lost everything... everything." She stared at the floor, her mind drifting to the moment, the one terrible moment she couldn't undo.

One heavy, painful breath followed another, and the silence in the room became oppressive.

"That wasn't your fault. You can't always control everything," your voice was firm but full of compassion. You moved closer, your knees almost touching Emily's. "You did your best."

"Not my fault? My best?" Emily laughed bitterly, a hard, desperate sound that echoed in the room. "My best wasn't enough, I failed. It wasn't enough. I..." she grabbed her chest as if she wanted to tear out the pain that held her so tightly in its grip. Her words blurred, more indistinct than seconds before. "I should have prevented it."

You were silent, letting the words hang in the air. Your hand hovered over Emily's cheek, almost as if you wanted to touch her. But you didn't. "You have to accept that you are not infallible. It wouldn't have made a difference if you had been there faster. Sometimes things happen that we can't change and you did what you could."

"That's not good enough. None of it is good enough." Emily turned to you, her tears still stubbornly refusing to flow down. She was determined to carry the guilt like a burden she couldn't let go of. She felt the pain in her whole body, sharp and deep, as real as the whiskey poisoning her veins. "It was my job to protect you. I can't go on without you."

"Yes, you can," you said quietly and sat there, your hands both resting gently on hers. A contact that felt so real that Emily almost believed it. Almost. "But not like this. Not in this darkness. Alone."

Your eyes, those warm eyes, seemed to see through her, as if you could see all the pain, all the guilt and all the suffering. "Just tell me what you need. Tell me what to do." Emily whispered back, her voice thick, almost suffocating. You next to her on the couch seemed so real that she almost forgot that loneliness was her constant companion.

A long silence followed. You stayed by her side, but the inescapable feeling of loss hung heavy in the air. Emily knew it was wrong to see you here, to hear you. She knew she had to stop drinking, but she still clung to the illusion as if it were the last lifeline that could keep her from drowning.

"You have to let me go," you finally said softly and Emily paused. The room suddenly seemed colder, the darkness thicker. "I need you not to blame yourself. I need you to figure out how to be happy again even after I'm gone."

Emily shook her head and stared at you. The woman she loved. The woman she had lost. "I... I can't," she whispered, her voice barely audible. The words came out heavy, as if each syllable was pulling her deeper into the depths. "I don't want to."

"You'll find a way," your hand squeezed Emily's briefly before she pulled back. "But not like that."

The silence between you stretched, and the shadows in the corner of the room seemed to creep closer. You were still sitting there, so perfect, so real. But somewhere deep in Emily's mind, the truth was beginning to take hold. She was too drunk, numbing her senses and poisoning her mind.

"I'm not really here, my love," you finally said, softly and gently. Your eyes were shining now, but you kept the smile, even though it hurt. "You know that."

Emily closed her eyes. She didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to admit what she had known all along. "Please... don't go," she whispered pleadingly, and now the tears began to flow desperately down her cheeks.

"I will always be with you, Emily. But you must keep living." Your voice was barely more than a breath now, soft like the wind through an open window.

She blinked and saw you slowly fading away. The room around her grew colder, the dim light seemed dimmer, and she was alone again. Reality hit her with the force of a blow. She collapsed, the tears now flowing uncontrollably.

The empty glass in her hand was a silent testimony to a lost battle against pain. Reality crept back mercilessly, filling the room with a loneliness that was unbearable.

The bottle of whiskey was still in front of her. The emptiness in her heart was not filled, no matter how much she drank, no matter how often she indulged in this illusion. You were gone. Forever.

Tears ran down Emily's cheeks like streams, and she let the glass fall from her hand. It fell to the floor, the dull sound barely audible in the deep, oppressive silence.

She pulled her legs up to her chest. In the darkness of the night she sat there, alone with her thoughts, with her guilt and the unbearable loss. The memories of what she had lost tormented her, knowing that she had to go on living - without you.

Maybe it would get easier someday. Maybe time would heal the wounds. But at that moment she could only feel one thing - the painful truth that she couldn't save you.

And that you would never return.

[x0x0josephinex0x0]

svt gym rat bf things

I am re-starting my fitness journey, and what better to motivate me than being a casual (worrying) level of obsessed with svt. So yeah once again no one asked for this but here we are, writing it anyway

Warnings: some slightly suggestive material, going to the gym/fitness/working out is the topic, meals and eating mentioned

seungcheol

-he is 100% using any gym time with you to show off/impress you/remind you he's ya man, the most overtly sexy of the gym bfs

-likes to hold eye contact while he does hip thrusts. if he's really feeling it he'll get the weights as close to your actual weight as possible, looking at you while he stacks them all up.

-the BELT FLICKS.......the belt flicks. he does it on purpose. and by god you’re grateful.

-shamelessly ogles you the whole time

-he will slap your butt after spotting you for squats and call it his boyfriend tax

-knows you think he's sexy when he works his arms or chest so he always calls you over to spot and then smirks when you get flustered

-but he doesn’t anticipate how desperately whipped he becomes watching you work out (the post lift cardio session is always of a very specific genre if u know what I mean)

-also is a sucker for you in gym clothes and buys you new gym fits every other week

jeonghan

-only wants to go if you're going (poor boy is tired)

-really good at spotting though, always there to help if you need

-easily impressed when you do anything even remotely cool or beat your pr

-spends most of the time talking to you while you work out

-gets flustered when you do something he finds attractive but will NEVER admit it and tries to play it cool

-when he does finally get to the workout you are disgusted by how much bigger his arms are than yours

-i just know he got a fire gym playlist with barbiecore songs bc they get him hyped

joshua

-subtle flirting in the gym is this man's love language

-meets eyes with you and winks across the squat rack, "accidentally" grabs the same weight and your hands touch and he looks up at you all dramatically, leans against the mirror to chat you up

-all smiles even when he's lifting something really heavy if you're there

-makes a plan beforehand for what you're both working that day and checks in with you periodically to see how you're doing

-does silly dances to his gym playlist to make you laugh

-gives you hugs no matter how sweaty you are

-makes sure you push yourself just enough but never too hard

-the gym selfie king -- and he knows all your best angles

jun

-working out with him is a hazard because he always makes you laugh mid lift and you nearly drop what you're holding

-big proponent of stretching but mostly because he likes to see how flexible you are because he is a heaux

-he is also pretty dedicated to his workouts and knows how to keep on task at the gym, but thinks it's cute if you're bouncing off the walls a little

-switches earbuds with you while working out and then judges you when half of it is music he's a featured artist in

-he will challenge you to fake dance battles

-sneaks lil kisses between sets

hoshi

-cannot contain himself because YOU CAME TO THE GYM WITH HIM, goes way too hard, and complains for the next four days about how sore he is

-"races" you on the treadmill

-takes his shirt off because "he got too sweaty" but then gets suspiciously excited when you stare at him or compliment him

-you catch him staring at you all the time

-does his squats RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE and then looks over his shoulder at u like "what r u looking at? perv"

-will do every single gym couples challenge with you, sends you videos throughout the week being like "we should try this"

wonwoo:

-another tired boy, but he does plan what he's going to work out at the gym every time and appreciates you following his schedule with him to keep each other on track

-workouts are usually not aerobic heavy so there's a lot of eye contact with him too

-cannot keep a smile off his face when you hype him up while he lifts, which is almost reason enough for him to do it

-is also super encouraging -- when you're challenging yourself to do something you've never done or trying to break a pr he's always so supportive and sweet

-lets you pick out matching gym fits to wear and always loves how happy you get when he comes out in his

jihoon:

-this man is the ultimate gym buddy and personal trainer

-if u express even a vague interest in working out he will sit you down to discuss goals and expectations and then come to your first gym session with a written, illustrated schedule targeting your specific body type & goals

-meal preps for u :(:(:(:(

-THE BEST spotter and also why do i feel like he has weird amounts of chiropractic knowledge and will be able to help you stretch SO well

-you can ask him any question about any workout and he knows the answer

-for some reason being in the gym with jihoon is so romantic to me like??? i feel like he'd be spotting you while you lift and he'd just lightly touch your arms to steady you and you'd be a blushing mess and so would he and then you'd go make out after

-worried you’re gonna get hurt so it’s sometimes hard for him to complete his workouts bc he’s watching your form

seokmin:

-going to the gym with seokmin would be a disaster in the best way

-will you work out? yes

-will it mostly be your abs, from laughing at him the entire time? also yes

-he will do bicep curls at you AGGRESSIVELY while he blasts careless whisper over the gym speakers

-his squats are all excuses to throw it back/twerk into you

-is also down for a couples challenge or two

-would be very complimentary of your muscles even if you don't feel like they're that good

-counts down your reps in a silly voice

-he ALSO has really good belt flicks but kind of by accident, and when he catches you blushing he'll tease you about it

mingyu:

-another elite-level gym buddy bf

-does love shots with your preworkout & makes the BEST post-gym meals

-he would also totally be that guy who has you kneel on his feet when he does sit-ups or lay beneath him while he does pushups so he can kiss you every time

-he is also an ogler. he will stare shamelessly at your butt as you walk by

-you might try to do a couples challenge once, but he's clumsy af and it didn't end well so you vowed never to do it again

-he's just a big baby so every time you exclaim over how nice his body is he'll get all shy

-also of course this man is posting up in a backwards baseball cap, a black skintight shirt, and gray sweatpants ON PURPOSE but he'll pretend he doesn't know he's committing literal crimes

-enthusiastically encourages you “one more rep babe one more you got this YEAHHHHH”

minghao:

-i see him more as a yoga/barre guy than a lifting guy

-also very good at stretching you out

-gets embarrassed when you watch him push through a difficult workout bc you're practically drooling at how attractive it is

-but he's also surprisingly goofy in the gym with you and makes sure you’re both having a good time

-loves to do those couple yoga poses and couple stretches

-also is down to help you with boxing or jiu jitsu moves

-post-gym glow is real on minghao

-hard to keep ur hands off each other after you get home hehehehehehehe

seungkwan:

-leg day is every day. so many squats are being done

-he also makes you laugh a lot

-for any aerobic workouts you are either getting in the pool with the grannies for water aerobics or ur doing Zumba there is no in between

-takes you on runs to beautiful spots in the city

-gets competitive about working out with you so if you do more reps than him or run a lil faster he pushes himself too hard

-is always prepared: the night before, he’ll set out your gym clothes, fill your water bottle and put it in the fridge, portion out the preworkout, etc

vernon:

-wants to share gym playlists, so he has one earbud of yours in the gym at all times

-surprises himself with how much he’s staring at you because wow he likes you in that tight shirt and leggings

-I can see him being really methodical about working out, so he kinda gets lost in it and forgets you’re alive, until you do your little dances around him

-he loves it when you show off for him so he can compliment you bc he’s kind of shy to do it without a reason bc then he’d have to admit how much he’s forgetting to work out because he’s paying attention to you

-gives you kisses to congratulate you when you reach milestones

chan

-he would also be elite level gym buddy bf

-uses gentle hands to correct your form if he’s worried you’re gonna hurt yourself 🫠

-he is also goofy in the gym but he also knows exactly when to be serious

-almost more committed to your goals than you are and goes buck wild when you reach a goal of any sort bc he is AN ADORABLE CUTIEPIE

-it’s the little things for him — like when you hum along to the song in your ears when you’re re-racking the smaller weights, he’s just so smitten with you

-idk why but I feel that he would be so good to you when you’re feeling that post gym soreness. he’s on that draw you an epsom salt bath, give you a massage, bring you Gatorade type beat