#c: grog strongjaw

[harusuki]

the legend of vox machina gifset per episode season 2 episode 9: a test of pride

tip jar

[justafandomgvrl]

Bitch you ask for a headcanon I shall provide ya:

How well does the rest of the team do as petsitters for Trinket? Do they fail a lot or are these guys used to petsitting by now? Does Grog try to feed him ale?

Grog definitely tried to give him ale - once, before Vex all but chewed him out so hard he couldn’t look at her. Other than that if anyone even looks at Trinket he’s got his weapon out.

Scanlan refuses point blank to look after Trinket. He just does not like that bear. At all. For no reason. And the feeling is mutual.

Vax successfully sneaks ale to Trinket and Grog pouts about it. Vax is the second best pet sitter for Trinket, partially because the bear is part of his family but mainly because his sister scares him.

Percy and Trinket have a respect and understanding for each other. Trinket knows to be safe. Percy knows to let him do his thing. Vex loves them both.

Pike is sweet with Trinket but she smells like Scanlan and he is not a fan of that. So she has to bathe before she can look after him.

Then there’s Keyleth. Sweet, loving, Keyleth. I think Trinket has a softness for Keyleth, doing as he’s told the way he does with Vex. Sometimes she becomes a bear and they just sit together, other times she druidcrafts flowers to make into a crown for him.

[gentle-giant-swag]

HELLO EVERYONE! I SHALL NOW REVEAL THE BRAKCETS

First up

Wait

MOST FUCKABLE GENTLE GIANT

The A bracket (finished)

Battle 1-16

(most submissions in form 1 and most submissions in form b)

Starts Friday the 9th of June. 5pm CET. The brackets will be posted between the 9-10th of June.

Side A, 9th of June. 5pm to 8pm cet

Raphael Hamato (rise of the TMNT) vs Totoro (my neighbor Totoro)

Heavy (team fortress 2) vs Big Friendly Giant (BFG)

King Dedede (Kirby) vs Scorpia (She-ra)

Bismuth (Steven universe) vs Susan Murphy (monsters vs aliens)

Fezzik (the princess bride) vs Dick Gumshoe (ace attorney)

Master Chief (halo) vs Bumblebee (bumblebee)

Big Macintosh (my little pony: friendship is magic) vs Massimo Marcovaldo (Luca)

The titan (the owl house) vs Tyson (Percy Jackson)

Side B, 10th of June, 5pm to 8pm CET

Ivan Bruel (miraculous ladybug) vs Asahi Azumane (haikyuu)

Takeo Goda (ore monogatari) vs Caduceus Clay (critical role)

Milly Thompson (tri-gun) vs Sandy (Lego monkie kid)

Jaguar D. Saul vs Jean Bart (one piece)

Komamura (bleach) vs William Ellis (identity v)

Beelzebub (obey me) vs Kazanari Genjuurou (symphogear)

Senri (plus anima) vs Murakumo (rune factory 5)

Holly (super lesbian animal rpg) vs Brutus Feels (Kane and feels)

The B bracket (finished)

Battles 17-32

Characters who have returned from the spring bracket and from fandoms I’ve personally interacted with. So the spring bracket but we blacklisted big man

Date: Tuesday 13/6 to Wednesday 14/6, between 5pm to 8pm CET

Side A (Tuesday)

The iron giant vs Baymax (big hero 6)

Gonta gokuhara (danganronpa) vs Jonathan Joestar (JoJo’s bizarre adventure)

Dj (total drama) vs Yasutora “Chad” Sado (bleach

Muriel (the arcana) vs Jasmine (total drama)

Subject Delta (bioshock) vs aaarrrgghh (trollhunters)

Klaus Von Reinherz (kekkai sensen) vs Asterios (fate grand order)

Hunk (Voltron) vs Gooliope Jellington (monster high)

Dragonite (Pokémon) vs Asgore Dreemurr (undertale)

Side B (Wednesday)

Alphonse Elric vs Major Lewis Armstrong (full metal alchemist)

Urbosa (legend of Zelda) vs Glamrock Freddy (five nights at Freddy’s)

Milla Vodello vs Helmut Fullbear (psychonauts)

Dedue Molinaro vs Raphael Kirsten (fire emblem: three houses)

Winston vs B.O.B (overwatch)

Kanji Tatsumi (persona) vs Common Wubbox (my singing monsters)

Mordecai vs Muarim (fire emblem: gay rights path of radiance/radiant dawn)

Minsc & Boo (baldur’s gate) vs Big the cat (sonic the hedgehog)

C BRACKET (ongoing)

Battles 33-48

Those who fell in between the A and the D bracket. So this one has some pretty chaotic matchups

Date: Sunday the 18th to Monday the 19th, 5pm to 8pm cet

A bracket: Sunday

Nicholas St North (rise of the guardians) vs Grear Danes (irl)

Falkor the good luck dragon (the never ending story) vs Susan Strong (adventure time)

Grandpa Max (Ben 10) vs Cerberus (Greek mythology)

Kiryu Kazuma (yakuza) vs Dr Joshua Strongbear Sweet (Atlantis)

Fatgum (my hero academia) vs Takashi Morinozuka (ouran highschool host club)

Will Powers (ace attorney) vs Luther (Detroit: become human)

The Tick (the tick 1994) vs Evan Buck Buckley (911 on fox)

Riki Nendou (saiki k) vs Hearts Boxcars (homestuck)

Side B (Monday)

Shirahoshi vs Tony Tony Chopper (one piece)

Jetfire/skyfire (transformers) vs Indus Tarbella (epithet erased)

Sisyphus (hades) Vs Grog Strongjaw (critical role)

Hugo the abominable snowman (looney tunes) vs Aone Takanobu (Haikyuu)

Android 16 (dragon ball) vs Tiny (ever after high)

Wrecker (Star Wars: the bad batch) vs K (virtues last reward)

Goldlewis Dickinson vs Potemkin (guilty gear)

Yasha Nydoorin (critical role) vs Lily Bowen (fall out)

D BRACKET

Battles 49-64

Aka the one where the contestants sadly got the least amount of votes)

Date: Thursday 22/6th to Friday 23/6th 5pm to 8pm CET

Side A: Thursday

lain chu (dragon hunters) vs Panda (tekken)

Isaroth (genshin impact) vs Bizarro (DC red hood and the outlaws)

Jienji (Inuyasha) vs Jackie Wells (cyberpunk 2077)

Looks to the moon (rain world) vs Jogu (naruto)

Bane Perez (identify V) vs Zinnia (super lesbian animal rpg)

Vulkanon (rune factory 4) vs Argus (Greek mythology)

Mountain (ark knights) vs Taiga Saejima (yakuza)

Abbi (Omori) vs Gorem (bakugan)

SIDE B: Friday

Junko (storm hawks) vs Hajin (monstress)

Gylph (super lesbian animal RPG) vs Bongchun (Bongchun bride)

Fitz Fellow (detective grimoire) vs Bubbles (questionable content)

Dubo (omega strikers) vs Bob the titan (Percy Jackson)

Otto the giant water dog (wondla) vs Kurita Ryoukan (Eyeshield 21)

Mele the Horizons Roar (ishura) vs Gentle Bear (dog island)

The Selfish Giant vs Banjo Lilywhile (the hogfather)

Livio the double fang (trigun) vs Hank McCoy (x-men)

I will make propaganda master posts and if you want to add, just use the ask box or dm me with propaganda for one of the characters who’s going to participate. But that’s all!

May the best gentle giant WIN!

SECOND CHANCE BATTLES FOR ROUND 1

27/6, apricot bracket

Battle 1

Battle 2

Battle 3

Battle 4

29/2, shavedown of the apricot bracket

The battle

1/7, blueberry bracket

Battle 1

Battle 2

Battle 3

Battle 4

3/7, shavedown

The battle

4/7, citron bracket

Battle 1

Battle 2

Battle 3

Battle 4

5/7, shavedown

7/7, durian bracket

Battle 1

Battle 2

Battle 3

Battle 4

8/7, shavedown

The (un)official GGSmod messed up someone’s name post

The crime list

Ask game

[storiedhistories]

This probably doesn't come as a surprise, but I'm still on a bit of a hiatus, at this point. I'm trying to focus more on revamping and getting things all cleaned up while I'm not doing writing things, and to that end, below the readmore is an updated list of muses, since my current information is very out of date.

Current muses by franchise:

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA William Adama Karl C. Agathon

CRITICAL ROLE Caleb Widogast Essek Thelyss Grog Strongjaw Keyleth of the Air Ashari Lady Kima of Vord Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III Vax'ildan Zahra Hydris

DETROIT: BECOME HUMAN Hank Anderson

DOCTOR WHO The Doctor (Nine) Madame Vastra

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST Alexander Louis Armstrong Sig Curtis Envy Solf J. Kimblee Roy Mustang

GAME OF THRONES Brienne of Tarth Tyrion Lannister

GARGOYLES Brooklyn Goliath Hudson (with Bronx as NPC) Macbeth

GOD OF WAR Atreus Brok Faye Freyr Kratos Mimir Odin Sindri Thor

GOOD OMENS Anthony J. Crowley

KILL LA KILL Satsuki Kiryuin Senketsu

THE LAST OF US Joel Miller

MIRACULOUS LADYBUG Adrien Agreste / Chat Noir Alya Cesaire Gabriel Agreste / Hawk Moth Luka Couffaine Tom Dupain

HADESTOWN/MYTHOS/PERCY JACKSON Hades Hazel Levesque Kronos Orpheus Thalia Grace Will Solace

STAR VS. THE FORCES OF EVIL Globgor Moon Butterfly River Butterfly Tom Lucitor

SUCKER PUNCH Sweet Pea

X-MEN Remy LeBeau

ORIGINAL CHARACTERS Irithiel Galanodel (D&D) Vanessa Hunter (Monster of the Week)

[alloarocharactershowdown]

I have a question b/c I don't see people ask this that much! What characters are you expecting to see in the final round, and what match-ups have surprised you so far? :)

Vi am expecting Sasha James and Taylor Swift to make it very far.

As for the matchups that have surprised ve— vi was definitely surprised by Arthur Lester vs. Grog Strongjaw as vi was expecting Grog to get more votes as he was one of the most nominated characters. Taylor Swift vs. Jeff Winger was surprising as vi didn't realize how much support Taylor was going to get. Vi feel like Taylor is one of the few characters who could possibly defeat Willow Park. Vi was also surprised at how far Sister Carpenter has come

[nicolewrites]

darling you’re pulling on mine

what’s with me and finishing this stuff at past 12. anyways, as promised, Pikelan heartstrings verse

heartstrings

Rating: T Genre: Romance Characters: [Pike Trickfoot and Scanlan Shorthalt], Grog Strongjaw Words: 4,114

Pike exhaled slowly. She knew what love looked like, but for a long moment, when she stole a second glance at Scanlan only to find him still watching her, she wished that she didn’t. She wished she could pretend she didn’t recognize the flames in his gaze and how it twisted her stomach because love was never easy. Love was never, ever simple. 

And there was sure nothing simple about Scanlan Shorthalt.

AO3

Pike knew what love looked like. She loved her grandfather, and her friends, and she had seen plenty of happy couples. She didn’t date, not really, because she was so busy with Grog and the channel and hanging out with friends that she never saw the need to. For so long, Grog and Scanlan were the only friends that she had needed and it had been good.

But, as she sat on the rooftop lookout of Percy’s over-the-top penthouse suite surrounded by Grog, and Scanlan, and Keyleth, and Vex, and Vax, it felt more right than she could have guessed. Percy has adamantly refused to have every gathering of their odd group of friends at Scanlan’s place, even if it was bigger, because he claimed that he had had a better view. Looking out across the roof, Pike couldn’t argue with that statement.

As popular as streaming and making videos made six of the seven friends, there was no denying that Percy was cut from a different cloth with his expensive movies and family-owned record label. That didn’t dissuade him from hanging out with their motley crew instead of other A-list celebrities.

Pike loved streaming and making videos with Grog and occasionally Scanlan. First, though, Pike was a people person. She had always found it easy to read people and what they were thinking. Her friends were not immune to this scrutiny as she had seen grief and darkness in Vax’s gaze and she had been able to offer him guidance for both him and Vex’ahlia. She saw roiling anger and unchecked grief in Percy’s gaze and she saw doubt and insecurity in the bright greens of Keyleth’s eyes.

Grog was different. He carried rage with him at all times, but Pike had helped him develop a system to deal with it long ago. There was a great loss in her big friend that she wasn’t sure how to approach, so she nurtured his love and protective instincts instead and it worked. Grog was her best friend and she loved him so much.

Scanlan, on the other hand, was hard to read. As much as she tried, he was always able to keep little things hidden from her, even if she hated him for it. He tried to seem like he wore his heart on his sleeve, but there was a guard to his charm: a barbed-wire fence of clever jokes and pretty songs built to keep people from knowing the real him. Pike tried and tried and she was pretty sure she was pretty close even if she would never fully know everything little thing about Scanlan Shorthalt.

She had never been in love. Again, she barely dated because she had no need to, but as she looked across the roof at her friends, she saw love between them both platonically and so deeply it caused her heart to ache.

Vax looked at Keyleth like she had hung the stars in the sky and then had ascended to rule over them all. He barely kept his eyes off of her and his admiration was easy to read as it rolled off of him with every stolen glance or whispered word. Pike knew Vax to love intensely and wildly and she saw this when he watched Keyleth and when he cast glances at his sister to check on her.

Vex was different. She guarded her heart much more closely than her brother, but there was something about Percy, some fragment of shared trauma between them, that lowered her walls just enough that Pike could see the budding admiration and affection in her gaze. And Percy’s darkness, his grief, wavered just for a moment when he tucked his arm around Vex’s shoulders and she shifted subtly into his side.

Pike pulled her gaze away from the warmth that sparked between Vex and Percy and let her eyes wander anywhere else so she didn’t disturb the intimacy of the moment. Her mind wandered and her eyes met Scanlan’s across their half-hearted circle of deck furniture. The corners of his eyes crinkled and his smile lifted up just the tiniest bit in one corner, but he had already been watching her as if he had been waiting for her to make eye contact.

Pike wanted to hold eye contact, to silently question him, but the intensity of his gaze flustered her more than she cared to admit and she looked down. Scanlan was normally so good at keeping his emotions under a tight wrap, but the way he looked at her was warm and open and looked entirely too much like Vax looking at Keyleth mixed with Percy looking at Vex.

Pike exhaled slowly. She knew what love looked like, but for a long moment, when she stole a second glance at Scanlan only to find him still watching her, she wished that she didn’t. She wished she could pretend she didn’t recognize the flames in his gaze and how it twisted her stomach because love was never easy. Love was never, ever simple.

And there was sure nothing simple about Scanlan Shorthalt.

-

Pike pulled her headset off, still giggling over Grog’s latest antics. Next to her, Grog was frowning, but he would get over the loss soon enough. He placed his controller on the desk and rolled backwards in his chair, leaving Pike to finish closing up the stream.

They’d been playing Wrath of Sarenrae tonight, a co-op action-adventure game. Tonight’s stream had been the culmination of several weekly Sunday night streams in a progression to fight one of the major dragon bosses of the game. Grog had been so dead set on landing the finishing blow, but Pike had managed to swing her smaller, nimbler character closer than Grog’s lumbering tank build to land the last hit. The chat had gone wild–half congratulating Pike on her kill and half laughing at Grog for failing to get the kill in the first place.

Pike closed the stream window and brought up the Major Monstahs YouTube channel. Their videos for the week were all scheduled: work out video and vlog on Monday, gaming stream VOD on Wednesday, and the monthly roast on Friday. They flipped between random vlogs or gaming videos on Friday’s normally, with the last Friday of the month always dedicated to their video series where Grog and Pike would sit and watch some of Scanlan’s videos and make fun of him.

Pike grabbed for her phone as Grog headed into the kitchen of their shared apartment. She scrolled mindlessly through Twitter for a while, retweeting some of the cool fanart that had been drawn during the stream. She had muted her mentions for the duration of the stream, but after skimming through them, there wasn’t anything that needed her attention seriously.

Just before she could lock her phone and head after Grog, it vibrated, the screen lighting up with a text.

[Scanlan] nice hit on the dragon. i told you speedboost was the spell to equip for this fight!!

Pike rolled her eyes, but opened the text app.

[Pike] you’re right, let me bow to your greatness, my liege.

[Scanlan] gasp, how dare you insinuate that i am more valuable than you. If anything, i shall endeavour to worship in the light of your glory for the rest of my days.

Pike blinked at the message, feeling her cheeks warm. She and Scanlan had been friends for so long that they’d built a steady teasing rapport and relationship over many, many years of friendship. Still, sometimes Scanlan would turn on the charm and it could catch her off guard, especially if it was in person. Pike was grateful that over text she could at least hide her flushes from him.

[Pike] :P i’ll tell my other clerics to make room for you.

[Pike] wait we’re still on for drinks Friday right? Grog’s been talking about it all week so you’d better not cancel on us.

[Scanlan] I talked to Sybil and rescheduled my Kaylie time for Saturday afternoon, so we are a go for Friday!

Kaylie was Scanlan’s three-year-old daughter. He had shared a brief fling with Sybil and Sybil had attempted to completely conceal Kaylie’s existence from her father. Scanlan had been horrified when he’d finally found out and had been heartily channelling funds to Sybil and Kaylie since he’d found out. He had fought Sybil tooth and nail to gain the right to spend time with his little girl and they’d worked out a schedule for him to see her once a week.

Pike tagged along with Scanlan sometimes. Kaylie was adorable and already had spunk and Pike loved her. She also loved watching Scanlan with his daughter because there was something gentle and open about him that she was able to see and appreciate. Plus, being around his daughter had opened up a vulnerable side of Scanlan that had hardly existed behind his barbed-wire charms.

Pike was smiling blindly at her phone as she began typing out a reply to Scanlan, but Grog appeared before she could hit send on the message.

“Hey, Pike, we gotta eat that ice cream now,” he called, his big voice booming in the room.

Pike was so startled she nearly dropped her phone, but she managed to lock it and shove it into her pocket. “Yep, coming!” she replied quickly, jumping up from her chair.

Ice cream post-stream had been a tradition for a long time. It was their cheat-treat from their usual workouts and healthy eating. She’d gotten so wrapped up in texting Scanlan–thinking about him, her traitorous heart corrected–that she’d nearly forgotten that Grog would be waiting for her.

Grog folded his arms and looked at her. “Something’s up,” he said. It wasn’t a question, but rather an observation.

Pike bit her lip. Grog wasn’t the most observant person, so she had to have been projecting her thoughts all across her face for him to pick it up. “Nope,” she lied through her teeth. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“Pike,” Grog argued. “You’re my best buddy, why don’t you want to tell me?”

She sighed, her fingers skimming across the outside of her pocket where her conversation with Scanlan was on hold. “Grog, I love you, but you’re no good with secrets.”

He frowned, his nose scrunching up. “I’m great with secrets!”

“You told Keyleth she couldn’t come to Percy’s early because she wasn’t allowed to be early for her own surprise party.”

“One time,” he argued.

“You told Kima that I sit on a cushion when we stream to correct the height difference.”

Grog pouted. “Pike, I swear I’m great at secrets. Scanlan thinks so! It’s why I’ve done so well with not telling you that he loves you.”

Grog’s words doused her brain in ice water. Pike blinked slowly. She played back what her big friend had just said, but the words were swimming about and not making sense. “Grog,” she breathed. “What was that last thing you just said?”

He opened his mouth to repeat it, but seemed to realize halfway through that he’d spilled a secret he wasn’t supposed to. He clammed up, his back straightening. “Nothing, it was nothing, Pike.”

Grog immediately left the room and Pike practically collapsed back into her streaming chair. She pulled out her phone and stared at her wallpaper: her and Scanlan on Grog’s shoulders, the three of them wearing shit-eating grins, but Pike and Grog were looking at the camera while Scanlan was staring at Pike.

Sure he was a flirt, and Pike knew he had flirted with her lots, but she had just thought it was Scanlan being Scanlan. Recently, like at Percy’s, she’d started seeing more openness, but she had thought it to be just a byproduct of spending time with an adorable toddler every week.

Scanlan loved her? No, Grog was mistaken.

She wrung her hands together and worried her bottom lip between her teeth. Grog wasn’t the smartest guy, but he didn’t lie. He hated liars and he had never once lied to Pike. Even with a slip of the tongue, she doubted he was capable of telling her a lie.

She felt vaguely lightheaded. Scanlan was in love with her and she had no idea what to do with that information.

She had an urge to call someone and ask for advice, but she already knew it was a bad idea. Vax would immediately say ‘I told you so’ which was something she didn’t want to hear. Keyleth would get so flustered she’d probably just hang up. Vex’s solution would probably be to sleep with him or ignore it and Pike couldn’t stomach either of those opinions. There was a whole other thing with Percy that meant she definitely couldn’t ask him. Grog was, naturally, out of the question, but that just left her with Scanlan.

Which was her problem in the first place, so she had effectively gotten nowhere.

“Pike?” Grog called from the other room. “Are you coming for ice cream?”

Pike inhaled slowly. She slid her phone into her pocket again and stood up. “Eat the ice cream and forget about the rest,” she whispered to herself. Louder, for Grog, she called: “Coming now!”

-

Pike @thetrickfootp • Just Now

Hey Internet, it’s time for @barbariangrog and me to roast @burtreynoldsesq again and it’s a good one this month :D youtube.com/watch?v=fFTukkN

Pike sent out the tweet as the video went live and flopped onto her bed. She had managed to go almost the whole week without thinking of Scanlan or the bomb that Grog had accidentally dropped on Sunday night, but after rewatching to groom a video entirely about Scanlan, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him. It didn’t help that Grog had been excitedly babbling all day about how excited he was to go for drinks that night.

Her phone vibrated and she lifted it above her face to read the notification.

Scanlan Shorthalt @burtreynoldsesq has tagged you in a tweet: It’s the last Friday of the month and I am once again regaled by the wonderous @thetrickfootp and also @barbariangrog #suchmockery #theroastofburtreynolds

Pike smiled faintly and tapped the notification. She gave the tweet a like and retweeted it with the side-eye emoji. Scanlan almost immediately liked her retweet and she put her phone down. Her hands brushed against her cheeks and she was surprised to find them warm. She rolled over onto her stomach and shoved her face into her pillow, letting out a long groan. She had no idea what was going on, but she wanted it to stop.

After almost twenty minutes of wallowing, Pike pushed herself up so that she could change into something drinks-acceptable. She hovered a hand over a loose-fitting Slayer’s Take t-shirt which she would wear with ripped jeans. At the last second, she snagged a dark purple tube top and pulled it on with the jeans. She gathered her hair up into two buns at the top of her hair and dusted some glitter along her cheekbones. She swiped on some mascara and nearly put on lip gloss before realizing that it was just drinks with Grog and Scanlan and she didn’t know why she was suddenly trying so hard.

She slammed the lip gloss tube down and grabbed her purse. She didn’t change out of the shirt and it had nothing to do with the fact that Scanlan’s favourite colour was purple. Pike walked out into the living room of the apartment to see Grog and Scanlan sitting on the couch, laughing about something. She stumbled and nearly tripped as Scanlan looked up, catching her eye, and beamed at her.

“Looking good, Pikey!” he complimented. The flirtatious tone of his voice was nothing new, but the teasing glint in his eyes felt more real this time somehow.

Pike inhaled sharply and forced a smile. “Thanks, now let’s go! I need this drink.”

-

Scanlan had entirely too much charm for his own good. He had gone to the bar to retrieve a round for the three of them almost ten minutes ago. Grog hadn’t really noticed since he was just telling some story drunkenly, but Pike could clearly see Scanlan where he stood at the bar. He was surrounded by two girls in low-cut shirts and short skirts.

Pike could see the flirty, pleasant smile on his face from across the room and it made something in her stomach boil in anger. She couldn’t help it as her eyebrows dropped into a lower position and her face scrunched into an unpleasant expression. Grog finally seemed to notice something was wrong and he cut off his story abruptly as he stared at Pike.

Pike, upon realizing Grog was staring at her, immediately dropped her gaze away from Scanlan and spun her straw through the ice cubes in her otherwise empty glass idly. Her cheeks felt hot, but she could blame it on the alcohol and her fair complexion. Grog didn’t seem to notice that she’d been glaring at Scanlan, but he just frowned as he watched her.

Finally, after an entirely too long period of time, Scanlan returned with their drinks: Guinness for Grog, whiskey sour for Pike, and an old fashioned for himself. Unfortunately, he also returned with a lipstick print on his cheek that had only been half-wiped off. Pike saw it immediately and took a long sip of her drink as she pointedly avoided eye contact with Scanlan.

Grog and Scanlan launched into a conversation again and Pike tried to contribute and stay active, but her gaze wandered and she saw the two girls from earlier were still giggling and looking over in Scanlan’s direction. She settled for pressing her lips together and sipping hard at her drink.

After another painful hour, Grog saw a woman across the bar who caught his eye and excused himself from the table, leaving Pike and Scanlan in awkward silence. Pike knew Grog’s patterns well enough at this point; he wouldn’t be home tonight, much less back to the table.

“Hey, Pike, are you okay?” Scanlan asked suddenly.

His brows were furrowed together as he watched her. Pike’s gaze snapped to his face from the table and she took in his pursed lips and curiously twinkling brown eyes. There was a lock of curly brown hair grazing the right side of his face that had slipped from his ponytail tonight. The whites of his teeth stuck out against the deep tan of his skin, complimented by the pale purple shirt he was wearing. Pike’s breath hitched involuntarily because sweet mother of god Scanlan was pretty.

She snapped her gaze to the far side of the bar and exhaled shortly. “Totally fine.”

Scanlan touched her arm lightly and PIke felt an instinctual need to rip her arm away, but she managed to force herself not to move. Scanlan’s fingers traced something along her wrist and it took her a long moment to realize he was writing something as they often did.

L-Y-I-N-G, his fingers spelt out along her forearm.

Pike forced her hackles to lie flat and she retracted her arm from his touch to adjust her shirt and shift in her seat. Now that Grog, her buffer, was gone, she felt like she needed to be far, far away from Scanlan and his charming, pretty smile and gentle eyes. She stood up, reaching quickly for her purse.

“I have a video to edit for this week I just remembered. Besides, Grog’s done for the night, so I should get home.”

She turned and headed for the door, purse and jacket draped over her arm, not even waiting to see the look on Scanlan’s face. He would obviously take her leaving as a gift and head back over to the pretty girls in the corner because no matter what Grog said, there was no way he was in love with her.

And she didn’t love him.

-

She was around five paces away from the bar in the dark street before Scanlan caught up to her, his hand tugging on her arm, turning her to face him.

“Pike, what did I do? You’ve been treating me like I burned you all night.”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “You didn’t do anything, Scanlan,” she lied. It was a half-truth really, because all he’d done was be himself and Pike was the one over-reacting.

He sighed and scratched at his head with the hand that wasn’t holding her arm. “Can I call you an Uber at least?”

Pike shrugged. “As long as your friends back there don’t get worried about you.” The comment came out unexpectedly bitterly and Pike blamed the alcohol. She was clear-headed still, but it had given her a bit of unexpected sass.

Scanlan stared at her. “Pike, are you jealous?”

The question caught her off-guard and she tried to laugh it off and say that no, of course, she wasn’t jealous because that would be something a girlfriend would feel, not a strictly platonic, not-at-all romantically interested friend. Instead, her voice caught because, she realized, that yes, of course, she was jealous because of course, she liked Scanlan. She probably always had.

Scanlan’s features rippled into his charming grin. “You are!” He chuckled warmly. “Wow, and here I thought I was going to be the one jealous of all your fanboys for all eternity.”

She blinked at him.

Scanlan tilted his head and the confident smile morphed into a shyer, almost self-conscious look. “Grog told me that he told you, but come on Pike, didn’t you already know?”

“Know what?” she asked, her voice small.

Scanlan shifted his weight. He dropped her arm. “I’m hopelessly in love with you,” he said firmly.

The words were barely out of his mouth before Pike leaned forward onto her toes and gripped him by the collar. She reeled him in quickly and slanted her mouth over his, kissing him hard. He tasted like whiskey and orange–something sweet and something bitter. She was about to pull away when Scanlan’s hands shot upward, sliding along her jaw as he deepened the kiss. Pike melted against him, letting one hand drift up from his collar to his shoulder and then along his back to the nape of his neck where her fingers twisted in his hair.

After a long, breathless moment, they broke apart, but Scanlan didn’t let her move back. His eyes were closed and he let out a deep, heavy breath.

“Tell me you’re not drunk,” he begged.

Pike leaned forward, exhaling shakily, and pressed her forehead against his. “Just enough for courage.”

Scanlan let out a breathy laugh. “God I’ve wanted to kiss you since the first time I met you.”

She took a moment to tug at his ponytail, loosening it as she fought to find the right words. “You drive me crazy, Scanlan Shorthalt,” she settled on.

“Good,” he replied, “because you drove me to insanity a long time ago, Pike Trickfoot.”

She kissed him again, relishing in the feeling of his warm lips against hers as his hands cradled her face. She hummed into the kiss and felt him smile as they broke apart.

“About that Uber,” she said breathily, her gaze flickering between his eyes and his lips quickly.

“My place or yours?” he asked, dropping her face to reach for his phone.

“Mine’s closer,” she replied.

“Perfect,” he said and kissed her again.

-

Several hours later, Scanlan’s arms were hooked warmly around Pike’s waist and his face was pressed into the crook of her neck. She was running her fingers through his hair, breathing deeply.

She felt warm and safe and the bubble of emotion that had been building up slowly over years of friendship finally burst. She grazed her fingernails against his scalp and Scanlan blinked up at her sleepily.

“I’m hopelessly in love with you too,” she breathed.

He smiled. “I loved you first though.”

She giggled softly. “Probably.”

His fingers ran up her side and ghosted along her chest over where her heart was as he mimed playing the piano along her skin. “I have so many songs to write for you.”

She twisted, sliding so that they were level and she could kiss him again. “I love you.”

He hummed against her and when his eyes opened after the kiss ended Pike knew that his walls were down. The barbed-wire charm had been retracted and he was laying himself bare for her, literally and figuratively.

“I love you too.”

She kissed him again and didn’t think of anything else as he rolled her on top of him and they kissed like schoolkids.

[demjinhearts]

Looking up at one of the planes, Kaz couldn’t stop wondering what this was useful for and why it was held suspended above the floor. He wasn’t one to try to understand this world usually, but if he had to live here, maybe it was better to do so. “What do you think they use that for?” Kaz asked as he gave a slight hit with his elbow in the big man next to him, pointing at it with the crow-head handle of his cane. “It looks like a weird submarine.. With wings.”

@strongestjawintaldorei

[moiraineswife]

The Search For Grog: 

Fate Rolls

[criticalnine]

@deltaiczap won the third prize of my giveaway, and asked me to paint grog! [image description: a digital painting in a realistic style of grog strongjaw from critical role, head and shoulders. he is a goliath man with grey skin and black tattoos on his face; his eyes and single earring are bright blue, and the background is a lighter grey. he’s side-eyeing the camera grimly. End image description.]

[harusuki]

the legend of vox machina gifset per episode season 2 episode 6: into rimecleft

tip jar

[sweetsmalldog]

People and fictional characters I get gender envy for in no particular order:

Eret

HannahxxRose

Fundy

Jack Manifold

Awesamdude

Caleb Widogast

C!Philza

How I specifically imagine C!Techno

Sneegsnag

Jack Black

Grog Strongjaw

Hbomb

C!Hbomb

Catmaid Hbomb

Piglin Brutes

Haymich Abernathy

[professorthaddeus]

tags masterlist [in progress]

putting this under a cut because it’s mostly for my own organization

my stuff

my writing (fics)

my meta (or more accurately, my incoherent attempts at meta)

my ramblings (all original posts, including asks)

cr catchup (slowly but surely getting there!)

types of posts

cr meta

art

cast appreciation

gifset

cr fic

cr reference

video

tagging notes

all posts about the most recent campaign episode are tagged cr spoilers until they’re up on youtube; all posts about the most recent the legend of vox machina episode are tagged tlovm spoilers for a week

posts about the legend of vox machina are tagged tlovm

posts pertaining to specific main campaign episodes are tagged c#e#

speculative post-canon posts (aka uh. headcanons lol) are tagged c# epilogue

exu posts are tagged exu#

posts pertaining to games that aren’t in the main campaign or exu are tagged cr oneshot

all posts about dropout shows are tagged dropout

I use a self reblog tag in case anyone wants to block those self promos

queued posts are just tagged queue because I’m uncreative

PCs

vox machina (posts with all or most of them)

vex’ahlia

vax’ildan

percival de rolo

keyleth

pike trickfoot

scanlan shorthalt

grog strongjaw

taryon darrington

mighty nein (posts with all or most of them)

caleb widogast

beauregard lionett

fjord

veth brenatto

jester lavorre

caduceus clay

yasha nydoorin

mollymauk tealeaf

kingsley tealeaf

bell’s hells (posts with all or most of them)

dorian storm

orym

fearne calloway

imogen temult

laudna

fcg

ashton greymoore

chetney pock o’pea

bertrand bell

dariax zaveon

opal

fy’ra rai

the ring of brass (posts with all or—you know the drill)

nydas okiro

patia por’co

zerxus ilerez

loquatius seelie

laerryn coramar-seelie

cerrit agrupnin

NPCs/guest PCs

essek thelyss

astrid beck

eadwulf grieve

artagan

marion lavorre

yeza brenatto

luc brenatto

trent ikithon

the gentleman

frumpkin

sprinkle the weasel

lucien

clay family

yussa errenis

kiri

allura vysoren

tomb takers

pumat sol

dairon

tj lionett

vandran

lady kima of vord

avantika

verin thelyss

shaun gilmore

little mister

poska

ted

myr’atta

marwa endalia

pate de rolo

the nightmare king

delilah briarwood

sylas briarwood

jiana hexum

lord eshteross

nila

sprigg

anna ripley

trinket

cyrus wyvernwind

orthax

zhudanna

gwendolyn de rolo

cassandra de rolo

de rolo kids

the green seekers

estani

oltgar

dusk

maya agrupnin

otohan thull

platonic or ”it’s complicated” relationships (what’s shipping? I’m here for the angst and found family only)

empire siblings (beau & caleb)

brjeaus (beau & fjord)

blumendrei (caleb & astrid & eadwulf)

widobrave (caleb & veth, in progress of tagging)

twinnies (vex & vax)

best buddies (pike & grog)

dorym (dorian & orym)

exu crew (dorian (sometimes) & orym & fearne)

witchy bitches (fearne & laudna & imogen)

imodna (imogen & laudna)

klepto kids (fearne & ashton)

southern comfort (imogen & fcg)

woodworker’s apprentice (orym & chetney)

team task force (imogen & orym)

romantic relationships (help I’m here against my will)

beauyasha (beau/yasha)

shadowgast (caleb/essek, in progress)

perc’ahlia (percy/vex)

vaxleth (vax/keyleth)

kimallura (kima/allura)

[tighnaurri]

Get to know me - a tag

Answer these questions and then tag some peeps!

Tagged by @koalapilikseu !! The cutest bean of all the beans!!

Post the most recent selfie of yourself: mm a grainy mess but a least my eyeliner looks good. also I’m in a gross painting shirt asdfghjkl

First name: Ashley, but I prefer Ash.

Last Name: I don’t want to say it b/c privacy, but it means “the embers of fire.” Metal, I know.

Height: 5ft 7in, or 170cm

Age: Seventeen

Hair colour: Dark brown with weird magenta undertones in bright light from dying it too many times.

Favourite fruit: All. I love fruit. 

Favourite flower: Daffodils! 

Favourite season: Summer! 

Favourite animal: Crows b/c they are like people and are sweet to you if you treat them kindly :)

Favourite Fictional Characters: Taako Taako, Lance from Voltron,  Lord Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III, Grog Strongjaw,  Takeshi Kovacs, Hazel Levesque.

Favourite TV shows: Altered Carbon, FMAB, The Office, Merlin, Sherlock, Host Club.

Favourite Colour: Yellow :D

Dog or Cat person: BOTH. EVERYTHING.

Do you have a crush on a Tumblr?: So many. Uncountable. I love everyone.

Biggest dream trip: South Korea! I want to go walking at night and watch busking.

I’mma tag these babes: @retrofelix @nctris @skaberen

[cantfakethecake]

Scanlan: What would you wish for?

Grog: I mean...I guess...p e a c e... o n ... e a a a r t h h h h?

Scanlan: You don't sound very excited about that.

Grog Strongjaw, without taking a single fucking breath: IWANNALIVEFOREVER

[mrandmrsvex]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III/Vex'ahlia, Vax'ildan & Vex'ahlia (Critical Role) Characters: Vex'ahlia (Critical Role), Vax'ildan (Critical Role), Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III, Grog Strongjaw, Shaun Gilmore, Mentioned: Pike and Kima and Scanlan Additional Tags: Rated Teen and Up because of Alcohol, alcohol mention, alcoholic mention? I suppose, also lotsa swearing for some reason my Vex swears a lot Series: Part 3 of thursday nights and friday mornings

Summary:

Vex has had quite enough of this week full of extra studying and homework. Now she's gotta deal with everyone at the pub teasing her about her supposed new 'sweetheart'. And then suddenly she's gotta deal with 'sweetheart' and his very obvious problems. (All while Vax laughs)

Notes:    

It's the first thursday night! Off to such a great start! Or not. You gotta add some dramatic undertones to a slow-burn dorklove fic, I think.

[Part 1]

[Part 2]

It had only been a week since her last engineering class, but Vex felt like it had stretched on for months. What was usually just a quick half hour of homework – granted, she'd never bothered to spend more time than necessary on this class, and oh what bitter irony it felt like now - had turned into a whole week of research, library visits and late evenings staring at equations that would not, could not be solved.

And that was just the first two assignments Percy had given her. She'd not dared to look into the folder he'd handed her with even more papers inside. Two assignments instead of one after a week, that should count for something, right? Surely it'd make him agree that she was taking her grades seriously now. Surely he'd decide to drop the rest of it and give her a damn C or D on the entire class and be done with it. (Surely he'd be a bit impressed by her efforts, she thought for a second, before beating down that silly idea coming from out of nowhere.)

But none of that plan would work if she didn't manage to finish this set of equations tonight.

Before she could pick up her pencil to scribble some more useless numbers on the paper, Vax interrupted her with a theatrical slam of the front door.

„Get your shoes on, dearest sister! I've found us yet another great and well-paying job!“ That could mean no good – Vax's idea of a 'great job' usually meant either something so boring he could just sleep through it, or something so dangerous and barely-legal that Vex didn't even want to hear about it.

„Vax, I told you hundreds of times, I can't. I have to finish this goddamn homework so I can hand it in tomorrow.“

„That's for tomorrow?“ Vax's question seemed innocuous enough, but she could see the edges of his mouth twitch upwards suspiciously.

„Yes. My engineering class. Every friday. We've been over this.“

„Could it be, Vex, sister, dearest.“ He stood behind her chair now, hands heavy on her shoulders, and she could hear the glee in his voice. „Could it be that you've forgotten tomorrow is a holiday?“

She tensed up. Her mind raced. What was the date again?

„Oh, fucking hell.“ was all she could stammer.

Vax couldn't hold back anymore, and her continued swearing was drowned under a wave of laughter as he leaned down, still holding onto her shoulders, which she quickly shrugged off.

„You didn't think to tell me that the whole week you watched me work my ass off?!“

„I didn't know you were doing it for this friday.“ He was still giggling and only barely lying. „I thought you just wanted to get as much done as possible!“

„I fucking hate you.“ She slammed her book shut. „Now tell me about this goddamn job I'm apparently working tonight, considering how much free time I've just gained.“

„Oh, it's a great gig! Scanlan's playing at-“

„I'm not working for Scanlan again. We agreed on that.“ The bastard had stiffed them last time, despite the copious amounts of cheap-drink-buying - which Vex realised now was mostly done to get them drunk enough not to notice when he paid them barely half of what he promised.

„It's not for Scanlan, and if you'd let me finish a sentence you would know that.“ Vax poked her side. „As I said – Scanlan's playing at Gilmore's tonight. I helped him set up, and Gilmore mentioned he was short-staffed. He needs a bartender and a waitress.“ Another poke. „I sang some praises about how quick on your feet you are and how friendly and customer-oriented and how good all my drinks taste, and he's agreed to let us help out.“

That was, surprisingly, an actually great job Vax had scored them. Gilmore's Glorious Gastro-Pub was a nice enough place – albeit somewhat chaotic and filled with the most random and weird customers she'd met so far – and Gilmore was as good a boss as they could ever get. If they worked the latest shift as well, he would probably let them take home any and all leftovers from the kitchen. He'd already done that whenever Vax stayed as a guest far longer than opening hours allowed. A well-paid job, food for the fridge and a shitload of tips if she just practised her winks and smiles some more sounded wonderful to her after the stressful week.

„You have yourself a deal. When do we start?“

„Pretty much right now. Get your shoes on and we can help Gilmore set up the kitchen for the evening crowd as well.“

„Doesn't he have that new kitchen-guy that replaced Pike for help? Greg?“ Vex hadn't been to Gilmore's for quite a while, but Vax was a frequent customer – along with Keyleth – and kept her pretty up to date on their friends' shenanigans.

„Grog. Once you meet him, you'll realise why he won't be much help at all when it comes to delicate things like dishes.“

----------------------------------------

8 hours later, Vex was still surprised how well her brother did in getting this short time job. She would have to actually be nice to him tomorrow, to say thanks.

But right now, she was allowed to shoot dagger-sharp looks in his direction every time he matched her stare.

It only took about 5 minutes after she put on the waitress apron at the beginning of this shift that Scanlan had made an off-hand joke about 'putting in extra work everywhere' that she planned to ignore. It took another 30 minutes until she was introduced to Grog, and his first words to her were „Ain't you got an important class tomorrow?“. It was so busy in the middle of the evening that she barely noticed Kima getting a beer at the bar and shouting „Didn't know you liked blondes, too, Darky!“ when she shuffled past her with a tray full of drinks. But the breaking point had been when Pike came in after an obviously exhausting day at the hospital, sitting down to an already perfectly prepared drink and patting the seat beside her, putting on her usual happy-mumfriend face and asking Vex to tell her „everything about your new sweetheart at college“. Vax had almost dropped his cocktail shaker from giggling before fleeing his sister's rage by dashing to the kitchen.

He didn't get far. He was halfway to the walk-in cooler before she slammed him into the wall.

„What the everloving fuck have you been telling people about me?“

„Nothing but the truth.“ Vax was still giggling slightly, trying to push her away, but she didn't budge. „Just that you've got a class with a much bigger workload now and a new teacher.“ „That is an awfully short way of describing the gossip you're spreading about me.“

„I'm not spreading gossip. It hurts that you think I would do that, to my own sister.“

She pushed a bit harder and heard him cough – her elbow was digging into his chest. „Pike thinks I've got a 'sweetheart'. Kima knew his fucking haircolour.“

„Now, to be fair.“ He finally managed to push her away just a bit, enough to let him breathe again. „You've given me such a good description of your horrible-not-horrible teach by now that I could pick him out of a crowd, and I've never even seen the guy. I know you're very perceptive but I get the feeling that you've spend more time than usual memorizing little Percival's... attributes.“

All he earned for his smug wink was a punch in the stomach. Vex had left before he could get up from the floor and stop coughing.

Hours later and with the pub now empty, she was still fuming about it. It hadn't taken a lot of insisting to convince Pike that there was no one new in her life – not that Pike would ever push further even if she didn't believe it – and she'd managed to mostly ignore or stare down any other jokes from their more rambunctious friends, but Vax had still avoided her pretty well. So all she could do was stare at him in anger. And now she couldn't even do that, because he had dissappeared somewhere while she was cleaning the bar top – which was, supposedly, his job as barkeeper.

Another figure appeared next to her to help instead. A tan hand, covered in gold rings and bracelets, grabbed a towel and began scrubbing with a slight jingle from all the jewelry. Vex looked up and looked into the dark, heavily painted, absolutely lovely face of Gilmore smiling at her.

„Let me help, Gorgeous.“

Vex couldn't help but laugh at his greeting. „I thought that was one of your many titles.“

„Ah, but that is one of the rules.“ Gilmore pointed at the sign behind the bar. The usual jokey 'no shirt, no shoes, extra friendly service' had been expanded with sharpie during many drunk nights. „Everyone in this pub is gorgeous. Some more than others, I might admit, but I'd certainly count you in the top class as well.“

„Well, thanks. I appreciate it, even if it's mostly because I look just like my brother.“

Now it was Gilmore's turn to laugh quickly. „Oh dear, enough about me and my gorgeous friends. What about your new friend? Is he as gorgeous as Vax makes him out to be from your descriptions?“

She groaned and put her head on the freshly cleaned countertop. „Not you too, Gilmore. Why does everyone believe I'm interested in someone just because I dared to talk about him more than once? Am I not allowed to be annoyed by a substitute teacher without everyone immediately dreaming up wedding lists?“

„Hyperbole, dear.“ He softly lifted her head back up. „The lady doth protest too much, methinks. I'm pretty sure people wouldn't be bothering you with it quite so much if it didn't... bother you as much.“

He had a point. Not that Vex was going to admit it out loud in any way. She was getting far too riled up about some light-hearted ribbing – why couldn't she take it with a smile and a sharp joke in return, like she usually would?

„Besides...“ Gilmore pulled her out of her thoughts again. „I wouldn't be quite so adamant about how much you dislike this new fellow. Just in case it turns out to be a bit more than nothing.“ He lifted his hand, jingling again, to stop her from answering. „Because if it is indeed more than nothing, I'm sure he'd be a tad unhappy to hear how much you talked him down before we ever met him.“

„Gilmore, you're not ever going to meet him.“ The lady doth protest again, she realised. „But maybe you're right, overall, and I should cut my brother some slack. He's just making fun of me as he always does.“

„He tries, dear. He cares for you a bit too much, maybe.“ A soft pat on the back. „And now get your gorgeous butt out of here, and take your brother's gorgeous butt with you. You've been here far too long and helped with much more than you needed. I'll get you your official payment tomorrow, okay? And for the unofficial...“ Gilmore turned around, towards the kitchen. „Grog! Is that takeout bag ready yet for the twins?“

---------------------------------

The icy air outside Gilmore's hit them both like an arrow in the chest. The absolute darkness beyond the streetlights at this time of night did not make the scene any more cosy. Despite still being angry with him, Vex couldn't resist huddling against her brother for warmth – and maybe a bit of feeling of safety, to be honest.

„At least we might not need a freezer for all this food, then.“ Vax looked down at the two large bags they'd been handed moments prior by a wide-smiling Grog.

„Let's just get home, and sleep.“

He steered her left down the street, past a smaller side alley that looked as inviting in the dark as it did by day – filled with trashcans, even more spilled waste, and leftover bottles from people who'd been thrown out of the various pubs around or were too drunk to ever be allowed in. And amongst all this dark rubble, she spotted a patch of white.

Instinct was all that made her pull her brother back sharply, against the wall and away from the alley. He was just as alert as her in an instant, probably thinking she'd seen a mugger or something equally dangerous.

„What?“ He barely whispered. „What is it?“

„Percival.“

„...What?“ Vax's expression changed from concerned to confused, but Vex only shushed him and inched forward a bit, peeking into the alleyway.

There he was, just as she'd seen it, all white hair and golden glasses and big blue coat. What she wasn't used to was the slumped position down on the ground, head hanging low. Nor was she used to the bottle in his hand.

„Holy shit.“ Vax had apparently peeked in as well. „Is that – that's your boy? De Rolo?“

„Ssh!“ She pulled him back.

„What do we do now?“ Vax didn't know why they were still whispering. It seemed like Percy was in no state to hear them anyway.

„What do you mean, what do we do? We go home!“

„Are you serious? You find someone you know crouched down in an alley and your first reaction is to run off?“

Vex stared at her feet, thinking of Percy's embarassed face once he sobered up enough to realise that she'd found him in this state. It would be easier to just pretend nothing like that had ever happened.

„I mean, I don't know. He's just...“ Another lean past the corner and a quick look at Percy. „He seems pretty out of it. Drunk. I mean.“

„No shit.“ Vax shook off her hands, still around his collar, and pushed his takeaway bag into her hands before she could react. „Let's check if he's just drunk or if it's something worse, though.“

„VAX!“

She couldn't stop him as he stepped into the alley and straight in front of Percy, who barely reacted by shortly shaking his head.

„Hey, bud. You ok? Somebody jump you, or something?“ He tried to sound calm, but Vex could hear the slight nervosity in her brother's voice. They knew all to well how much could hide in the rest of this alley.

„M'fine.“ She could barely make out from Percy's mumbling.

„Yeah, no, you're not. Where do you live? Is there anyone we can call to pick you up?“

No response. Vax sighed and turned back to her.

„Sis, come and help me at least. This is your drunk bag of problems here, after all.“

She hated him for this, sure, but she was at his side just as quickly.

„And now?“

„And now we take Mister de Rolo out of the gutter and, preferably, into a warmer home. He'll thank you for it later, I'm sure.“

Vax lifted Percy off the ground and slung his arm over his shoulder. Vex took a step closer, pretending to try and help, instead getting a good look at the bottle Percy had left lying on the ground. She recognised the label, barely, from behind Gilmore's bar. It wasn't the cheapest.

„Your boy is pretty light.“ Vax could feel Percy's ribs as he put his arm around his waist, even through shirt and coat. „I think he's not eating right.“ „He's not my boy.“ She grumbled quietly, hoping Percy wasn't awake enough to listen to them.

„Whatever. Let's get him home. Where does he live?“

„How should I know? I only see him at school.“

They stared at each other, blank, while Percy gave out a quiet groan from being dragged.

„Well, then. Should we just... should we take him home with us?“ Vax asked. Vex shrugged.

„Maybe by then he's sobered up enough to tell us where he lives.“

„Sis, I'm not gonna carry your pretty boy through town only to find out he lives at the other end. If we take him home, he's gonna stay until he's sober enough to walk back on his own.“ He looked down at the still groaning guy hanging off his shoulder. „And I highly doubt that's gonna happen anytime before tomorrow morning. He can have the couch.“

With that, Vax began dragging Percy down the street, only to be stopped by his slurring voice.

„Jus... jus leave me.“

„No can do, boy. The pub's closed, there's obviously no one else to take you home, and the police's gonna start doing their rounds soon.“ Vax patted Percy on the back and instantly hoped it wouldn't cause him to throw up. „Trust me, the worst place to wake up hungover is in the drunkard cell.“

„I know.“

Vex and Vax shared a look. What a catch, Vax seemed to say silently, you really know how to pick them. She flipped him the bird.

-------------------------------------------

It didn't take them long to get back to the twins' flat just a few roads down. It proved a bit more difficult to get Percy up the stairs, but they managed to get him through the door and on the sofa without any really major scratches or bruises. Percy had already blacked out halfway down the street, so at least he wouldn't remember where the few scrapes on his cheek came from.

Vax pulled off his jacket while Vex undid his shoes, and together they draped him over the old couch. Vex carefully lifted his glasses off his face and put them on the table, at the same time shooing away Trinket, who was very interested in this stranger suddenly taking up all the space on his couch. She wasn't fast enough to stop him from licking right across Percy's face.

Luckily it only elicited another groan before he turned his head away and quietly snored again. He looked so calm, it was hard to believe she'd only just found him in a beer puddle next to a pub. It was hard to believe she'd met him there at all.

„Well, let's see here.“ She was still lost in thought when she heard her brother at the other end of the room and looked up. There he was, Percy's coat in front of him on the hanger, his hands already deep in its pockets.

„Vax, what the fuck?!“ She hissed. „Don't go through his stuff! Don't steal anything!“

„Oh please, sis. Like I'd be that stupid.“ His hands didn't stop, though. „I just wanna see if he has a cellphone or something. We gotta let somebody know where he is, don't we?“ One hand emerged – with a very crumbled pack of smokes. „An alcoholic smoker. What a lovely set of addictions.“ The other hand emerged empty. „No cellphone, though. Maybe in his jeans pocket?“

„We are not picking his pockets while he's asleep.“

Vax was by now going through what she could only assume was Percy's wallet. He pulled out an ID and snorted almost immediately.

„Oh, poor boy.“

„What?“ Vex was up and halfway towards him, but he quickly pushed the ID back in.

„Nothing, dear sister. Nothing that you should know, if he's not willingly told you yet.“

„He hasn't told you anything willingly either! You just went through his stuff!“

Vex made a move for the wallet, but Vax pushed it back into the coat quicker.

„Okay, so no phone to call someone, I've no idea where the adress from his ID is, nothing else in the pockets that could tell us anything, except that he is as unhealthy as he could get. Your boy is a mystery man in his own right.“

„If you don't stop calling him my boy, I'm going to punch you where it hurts.“

„Let's just let him sleep off everything on the couch and worry about it in the morning.“ Vax was obviously getting tired and ignoring his sister's threats.

„I'm gonna worry the whole night.“ She'd murmured to herself, but he heard.

„Vex, he's fine. Sure, drunk out of his ass and probably frozen halfway through, but he'll be alright.“

„That's not- ...not exactly what I meant.“ She sighed. Why did she have to find him like this? What would he think once he remembered? How much more embarassing could their whole situation get, anyway?

 And why the hell was he getting blackout drunk?,  a true worry crept into the back of her head.

(other fanfics: -non-AU-)

Percy being a wreck about having babies

Percy being a wreck about protecting his new baby

Proof that his kids are doing just fine with him as a dad

Percy is a wreck after Vex kills him in his dreams