#cake is better than sex

[ikemen-trifecta]

can I get a coffee with genshin or obey me! characters reacting to their s/o coming out as asexual on top? /lh

Here you go~! Your order served with extra whip cream, some chocolate drizzle, and a cherry on top!!!

I had so much fun writing this, and I hope everyone reading this loves it too!!! :D And remember~ you all are valid!! <3

Enjoy!!! <3 ~ Mod Astraea!! >:3

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💖⚠️caution!! It’s super sweet!!!⚠️💖

Coming Out as Asexual to the Demon Brothers!!

Lucifer: 

Would be super understanding! 

“Thank you for sharing this with me MC. I love to know more about you.”

He will ruffle your hair and any anxiety you had inside of you away with a sweet smile on his face

As long as he gets to spend time with you and have you by his side, that is all that matters <3

“Your very presence is so soothing to me. Now come closer, I want to hold you.”

After you told him he would be extra careful to make sure you were comfortable with anything he did, even gentle touches to brush a strand of hair out of your face, or to get a bit of food on your cheek. 

“(y/n) you have a bit of cream on your cheek…may I?” 

NOT TO MENTION HOW SWEET HE WOULD BE <3

“Please, tell me all the ways that you do wish to be touched. I'll give you my undivided attention.” FELL TO MY KNEES AT WALMART

Would be so respectful of your boundaries~ the epitome of a gentleman!! 

Mammon:

“Oh! Y-ya are? That’s pretty cool…” 

You can tell from his facial expressions and how he’s stuttering he has absolutely no idea what that means 

After you explain it to him, he totally accepts you!! 

To him, head rubs and holding hands means everything <3 EMPHASIS ON THE HEAD RUBS 

And he would never give those up for anything in the world! He feels like a million Grimm every time you pat his head!!

And now that you’ve told him he feels so special!! He’ll be all like (y/n) told me…ME!! 

If someone tries to make fun of you for your sexual orientation, expect him to run to your defense and go into attack mode!!

“No one makes fun of my human, ya hear me!? If any stupids act mean to you, I’ll give 'em’ a piece of the Great Mammon!” 

It makes the “I was y/n’s first!!!” jokes so funny though ashdjksl

LIKE “mAMS PLEASE-”

Leviathan:

“Do you…still like me?” Poor baby is worried that he may not be good enough T-T

“Of course I do!! You cry out and explain, “I don’t feel sexual attraction at all, and I just never want to have sex in general. I love you lots Levi!! Thiisss much!!” You extend your arms out by your side as far as they can possibly go, which immediately puts a blush on his face.

His worries fade into happiness, and when you ask how he feels about it he goes, “I d-don’t mind at all! If it means I can still play games together all day with you and do the things we love together, it doesn’t matter to me in the slightest!”

He adds with a slight blush while glancing over to the side, “I mean that’s normie stuff anyways!! I’m comfortable like this with you!” 

He’s also over the moon that you trusted him with this and told him!! <3

Would gift you little pins like the ones adorned on his shirt with the Asexual pride flag!! So you can match with him too hehe

Shows you characters who are also asexual!! He would want you to feel represented, and you guys would also head canon characters together that you feel are asexual too!!

He thinks the way you say, “that’s me!!” when watching a show with an asexual character and your whole face lights up is the cutest thing ever! Levi knows exactly how it feels to see someone like yourself in the media, and how big of a comfort it is! 

This also opens up to squealing over kins together <3

Satan:

“Okay, that’s cool. We don’t need to do anything you're not comfortable with. I’ll show you how much I care about you in other ways. It’s your sexuality and it’s part of you…and I love every part of you.” 

You almost have tears of happiness in your eyes!! “Satan that was so sweet…”

“Oh, hush you,” he says with the biggest blush on his face

He’ll honestly be so proud of you for coming out because he knows it’s not easy! 

AND YES IN OTHER WAYS HE SHOWS YOU LOVE~ HE DOES INDEED <3

Because is there anything better than sex? Yeah, a really good book! 

He will read a lot about it and educate himself on the topic as much as possible!! Best ally ever <3

And he will read to you while you lay your head on his lap <3

Asmodeus:

If you were nervous about telling him cause he’s the Avatar of Lust - don’t be!!

He will immediately cup your cheeks and pepper your forehead with kisses~!

"Being with you makes me happy and I can see every day how happy you are with me! That’s all that matters (y/n)!" 

Would buy you pride flags and make his own with cute designs with the colors to support you!! 

THE MOST ROMANTIC GESTURES IN THE WORLD

He will adorn his bathroom with divinely scented candles and rose petals to bathe together with you - only if you’re comfortable with it!

Lots of self-care with him~ face masks, bath bombs~ you know it!

Oh and of course massages are a must!! It makes him feel close to you <3

Also, if you’re open about being ace, he will totally paint your nails white, black, and purple and make them look beautiful! 

He will constantly let you know that sexual feelings aren’t everything, and that there is so much more than that! He will always reassure you that he is there to give you love and affection~

“I will always be ready to give you so much love! Nothing will ever change that hon~”

Beelzebub:

You know all too well that Beel loves his food! So, you know just what route you should go with this! The cake analogy!! 

At first, when you start explaining how some people like chocolate and vanilla, he lights up and starts engaging intensely with your explanation 

And then when you tell him, “so basically, I’d rather eat cake than have sex!!” he immediately understands!!

All the talk of cake makes his stomach growl

“MC, would you like to go get cake with me?” to which you happily go out on a cake eating date with him!!

You grin and just KNOW you have to tell him about all the garlic bread memes 

And surprise surprise~ he loves them 

“There’s nothing better than eating food with you. It tastes even yummier when we’re together and fills me up in another way. There’s no better feeling than this.” :D

Belphegor: 

"That's fine, I still love you (y/n), it doesn't change a single thing."

CUDDLE SESSIONS CUDDLE SESSIONS

Belphie is so down to just cuddle with you! 

Sometimes he would like to rest his head on your bare tummy/thighs because he’s big on physical touch and it makes him feel close to you

And your heart!! Whenever he rests his head on your chest and hears the sound of your heart beating it makes him feel so warm and fuzzy

After telling him, you two lay on soft blankets together, hands intertwined. It’s so quiet and comfortable, and just as you think to yourself that this couldn’t get any better, Belphie mutters out in a sleepy voice, “I want you by my side forever and always…” Truly the magic words for this tranquil and enchanting moment shared between the two of you <3

[sepulchritude]

I got myself thinking too deeply about asexual history again so here is the link to my summarized notes on asexual history from the 1800’s to modern day

The notes are easy to read and give the broad strokes of major events in asexual history. I didn’t go into much detail for most things, so if any of them grab your curiosity I highly recommend looking into it in more detail!

[morethansalad]

Better Than Sex Cake (Vegan)

[flakey-tart]

Better than Sex Cake

Click here for the recipe!

Click here for more recipes like this one!

[emily-wesley3]

A conversation I had with a coworker earlier today that I think asexuals would enjoy…

Me: I love the strawberry cake you left in the break room for us!

Coworker: Thanks! I make another cake called “Better Than Sex”.

Me: (listening while snacking on some more food, whales)

Coworker: People ask why it’s called “Better Than Sex” and I tell them bc it’s better than sex! Even the whales your eating, they’re better than sex! Bc you can eat them, share them, enjoy them in the public…etc.

Me: (thinking to myself) I can’t tell how much you’re joking but you’re literally speaking my language😳

[peckcohen]

Better Than Sex Cake This better than sex cake is made with decadent devil's food cake, condensed milk, gooey caramel, chocolate-covered toffee bits, and whipped topping.

[geekeryisafoot]

Me this morning: uuuugggghhh Monday 😮‍💨 I don't wanna go to work it's homophobic to make me get out of bed when I'm ssoooOOooOoo comfy and cozy 😣

Me this evening, voluntarily working shifted late hours and getting free leftover food AND dessert for my sacrifice: this cake is so good I'm going to die. Life is worth living I love my job I could never work anywhere else life is beautiful ❤️🥰💜🥰💜🥰💜🥰❤️

[totalutfrysning]

Desserts Recipe

Devil's food cake, condensed milk, gooey caramel, chocolate-dipped toffee bits, and whipped topping are the ingredients in this better than sex cake.

[thebarefootcajun]

Not wanting to go out

I stay in and bake

Got some bananas going bad

I think ‘banana bread’

That moist sweetness of the cake makes me all sweet inside

I mash up the bananas

Fold in flour, sugar, vanilla, pecans, I’m southern, “What other nuts are there?”

Okay enough about bananas and nuts

A bit too phallically gay for a horny gay guy like me

Mix all of those ingredients

And pop that thick liquid, good enough to eat raw, into

a preheated oven at 350 degrees

The kitchen heats up

The smell is delicious

Even the chi knows something terrific is taking place

The timer rings

I set the cake on a rack for five minutes

And then I dive in with a glass of cold milk

The chi and I lick our fingers and have another piece

Better than sex banana bread

[fullcravings]

Better Than Sex Cake

[chameleonsalwaysblendin]

Better than Sex Cake IV Recipe Whipping cream, vanilla pudding, and yellow cake with pineapple. Delicious!

[alphapowerbear]

Better than Sex Cake IV Recipe Yellow cake with pineapple, vanilla pudding, and whip cream. Delicious! 2 packages instant vanilla pudding mix, 3/4 cup white sugar, 1 cup heavy whipping cream, 1 can crushed pineapple with juice, 1/2 cup chopped pecans, 3/4 cup flaked coconut toasted, 1 teaspoon vanilla extract, 1/4 cup confectioners' sugar, 3 cups milk, 1 package yellow cake mix

[carreterapanamericana]

Better Than Sex Cake with German Chocolate Cake Mix German chocolate cake mix, hot fudge topping, and crisp chocolate-dipped English toffee are the main ingredients in this better-than-sex cake recipe.

[enamouredpoet]

Better Than Sex Cake This better than sex cake is made with decadent devil's food cake, condensed milk, gooey caramel, chocolate-covered toffee bits, and whipped topping.

[idrawstuffs]

Better than Sex Cake IV Whipping cream, vanilla pudding, and yellow cake with pineapple. Delicious!

[konigsblog]

simon riley is the man you love.

he's the man you find trust and comfort in, where you feel safe in his burly arms that wrap around your waist, sat on his lap with his length buried in your hole, lifting you up whilst praising you for taking him so well, his brave girl easing down onto him once again.

he's the man that'll whisper sweet nothings into your ear during morning sex. your walls tightening around his cock, gripping onto him and making you moan with each sloppy, slow thrust. crying out his name as hits that sweet spot repetitively.

he's the man that'll always watch out for any signs of discomfort, holding you close in missionary as you chant his name like he's an ancient god to worship. his large calloused hands nestled in your hair, gritting his teeth with each thrust as he loses himself inside you.

but, he's also the man that'll bake with you and make you feel all giddy inside when he teases you with flour. it ends up covering your aprons, and even on your clothes beneath it. burning the cake and buying a store bought one instead, one that tastes better than what you two would make.

he's the man that'll kiss you good morning before going on his morning run, telling you that you're so gorgeous and perfect for him, everything he needs and wants. who promises you the future with a gold ring wrapped around your finger...

but, you don't expect what'll eventually happen. you're so high in the clouds that you don't realise how he's gone for longer months during deployment, coming back silent and distressed before making love to you, unable to look you in the eyes.

he's the man that won't turn up at your door one late afternoon, and instead his captain holding his dog tags with a firm, protective grip. your heart shattering into pieces as tears begins flowing down your cheeks, gasping as you sink to your knees with your back to the door.

simon riley, the man you loved.