#can i call this an au? its the same story in the same universe just in a different format. hmm

[lazycranberrydoodles]

its prosecutor jiang wanyin!!!! oh fuck!!! / gifs + au rambling below the cut / follow for more mdzs x aa crossover stuff :3

all the gifs i made (poses traced off franziska):

hes so similar to franziska when you think about it. theyre both deeply insecure tsundere adoptive younger sibling of successful main characters. who carry whips. something something edgeworth choosing death and wwx actually dying also

his share code is HWFEFF if you wanna use him in a trial! you can't share backgrounds but heres the scenery from the donghua i used.

the easiest way to put custom stuff into objection.lol is to send it in discord and then use the link from opening it in your browser :)

a whole lot of AU stuff

the art im making is for if mdzs was an ace attorney game, playing from WWX's POV to solve various mysteries/cases over the course of the plot. so this scene would be from turnabout goddess, which would loosely cover the dafan mountain mystery.

cases include:

Turnabout Revenge (Mo Manor, quick introductory first case)

Turnabout Goddess (Dafan mountain, the good times flashback)

Turnabout Saber (the man-eating castle (omg hiii nhs))

The Blind Turnabout (Yi City arc)

Turnabout Deviation (the Koi Tower conference, Empathy on NMJ ala turnabout memories or beginnings. opening cutscene is his qi deviation)

The Blood-Soaked Turnabout (second Burial Mounds siege, flashbacks: Xuanwu, Sunshot, YLLZ, Nightless City massacre)

Turnabout Lotus Seeds (testimony about JGY, tree scene, golden core reveal, bathtub scene. opening cutscene could be JGS' death but that would make it canon rather than ambiguous)

Turnabout Confession (Guanyin temple)

the problem with splitting novel!mdzs into turnabouts is that flashbacks are a huge chunk of the book but they don't have mysteries/ cases to solve so they've gotta be lumped together with present day stuff. imo? many of the flashbacks would likely have to be abridged so they could be retold ala DL-6, SL-9, or the fourth grade incident, where characters talk about it over some pieces of art. this is really difficult when theres a metric ton of unspoken, complex, and signifcant history between every character lmao

there's not as much of a problem with the cql timeline but i have not finished it. so.

the opening cutscenes in ace attorney always show the murder and/or the murderer plotting. the first cutscene of the game would be MXY summoning WWX, muttering about getting revenge on his family (it would also be good for him to mention the yllz being dead because that's how the novel starts.) cut to WWX's POV as he wakes up covered in blood and the investigation segment begins.

for investigations of monsters (goddess, saber, etc) the cutscene would be a scene of some poor throwaway cultivator getting their shit wrecked.

it would be cool to make a breakdown for JGY but again I need to review that scene cause I don't know who I'd base him on. maybe Vasquez or Dahlia.

tell me your thoughts!! i'm working off of a mdzs summary/ skimming the novel because i don't remember it too well so if i get anything wrong please yell at me

Jin Ling's sprites & Nie Huaisang's sprites / masterpost

[reds-skull]

More Cyberknight AU sketches... I can already tell I'll have to do something with this universe, considering how much I'm thinking about the world building, plot, characters...

Speaking of world building, gonna write down some of it under the cut, if anyone's interested... (it turned out to be....... a lot..............)

Alright, so obviously there's a lot of influence of medieval knight armor, so my first line of thought was adding some sort of magic system. Initially I was like "well, can't use the magic system I have in my original stories, since Revenant AU is based on that, and if I do that again it would be way too similar". I considered scrapping magic off this AU completely, because I didn't think I could make a magic system different enough from rev AU to not be just the same thing but To The Left. And then it hit me.

COD already has a magic system. In Zombies.

Now, the Aether is not really treated as magic, more like scientific phenomena, but it's practically magic, taking to account the field upgrades, and its effect on living being (zombies, and special zombies like manglers, mimics, disciples...).

And the moment I thought about that, everything started clicking together.

Picture this, post apocalyptic world. Operation Deadbolt failed, and the Aether spread from Urzikstan to the rest of the world. Decades later, humanity found ways to ward it off, leaving swaths of land infected with the Aether, quarantined away from the remaining human cities.

This quarantine isn't perfect, however, and certain Aether forms threaten the delicate peace on the cities. This is where the Cyberknights come in.

Using Aether portals (the ones in-game), they teleport deep into Aether territory, and with motorcycles traverse the land, tracking big Aether forms that pose a big enough threat.

Scientists have found ways to build weapons made of Aether. The more in the metal, the better, so guns were now dwarfed by the power of swords and spears. These new weapons use the Aether of fallen enemies as a power source, for charging a powerful attack (in-game they're called Field Upgrades, and I'm giving them a lore explanation as to why it takes a while to charge them, and why it charges by killing zombies).

There are a few types of Aether forms: Aether-Mechanical (think the Manglers from the game), native Aether forms (Disciples, mimics, Aether worm), and infected Aether forms (humans turned zombies). Because of that, each unit must include at least one of each: a mechanic (in charge of equipment, and the mechanical nature of Aether-Mechanical forms), an Aether expert (for teleporters, and Aether forms in general) and a fighter (acting as sort of a tank as the others work).

I also thought a bit about the 141's weapons and field upgrades, so here's a little blurb on each:

Soap - Wields 2 short swords, the right with Cryo Freeze (Ammo Mod in-game), and the left with Napalm Burst. Field Upgrade is Frenzied Guard: Killing zombies grants a shield, but all hostiles are attracted to Soap once he turns it on. This Field Upgrade is usually reserved for fighters, which Soap used to be, but he's now acting as a mechanic for the 141 unit.

The blue and red in his design are for his ammo mods, ice and fire, and the helmet obviously resembles his hairstyle. Originally I went for something more Scottish, but it didn't look exactly like I imagined (Scottish warriors were notorious for not wearing a lot of armor, and they kinda scared other cultures, sometimes carrying the head of their enemies to intimidate others. So metal haha).

Gaz - Wields a spear, that uses Aether as a sort of magnetic force, meaning he can throw it and pull it back. Field Upgrade is Energy Blast: turning it on will create a force field around him, pushing and injuring anyone attempting to get close to him (this is a modified version of the Energy Mine in MWZ, just thought I can make it more interesting).

The purple on his belt are Aether crystals, as he's the 141's Aether expert. The "horns" on his helmet are actually a detector of Aether forms (and they're there to look cool).

Price - Wields a foldable shield, and a short sword, with Brain Rot applied to it (Brain Rot will make a zombie turn to your side for a short while, attacking hostiles for a few moments before their head explodes). Field Upgrade is Healing Aura, which will... heal everyone around him, obviously. Price is the fighter of the 141.

Price is nicknamed "The White Knight", as a well known fighter with a long history of felled Aether superforms. The piece on his right arm (his right), is his shield in folded form.

G.H.O.S.T. is a robot, powered by Aether, the first of his kind. This means he uses 2 Field Upgrades: Aether Shroud, making him go invisible for a short while, and Tesla Storm, which channels bolts of electricity through his body and his teammates', as well as his knives, so he makes sure to throw them in tactical positions before activating this. The electricity doesn't hurt his teammates, their armor makes sure of that, but it will kill lower Aether lifeforms, and damage the stronger ones. G.H.O.S.T. is the secondary fighter of the 141.

G.H.O.S.T. - Wields several knives, that use a similar technology to Gaz's spear, meaning he can pull them back at will.

[Edit: forgot to mention that the things sticking out of his forearms are his knives]

His design is based on the "Gilded Ghost" skin in-game, without the gilded part lol. The purple parts are the Aether powering his mechanical body.

For the story, I have something planned... but I don't wanna spoil you lmao. I was thinking a lot about Soap, who (if I make a fic which lets be honest I probably will) will be the POV.

Soap joins the 141 mainly as a mechanic. Each unit has a fighter, a mechanic, and an Aether expert. Gaz is the Aether expert, and Price is the fighter, G.H.O.S.T. acting as a support for Soap when the unit splits up. Soap comes from the northern territories, so he's very different from the rest in terms of his background, basically an outsider. He used to be a fighter, but a knee injury forced him to change positions. All members of a unit can fight, but it's not their main job, bar the fighter of course. He feels bitter about that.

He finds in G.H.O.S.T. an odd companionship, considering the robot can't feel. His AI is exceptionally advanced, so he does talk unnervingly, almost like a human. Soap often just rants, talking about his home city, about the life he used to have, and G.H.O.S.T. listens with no complaints, not that a robot can really complain.

It all changed on one fateful deployment, where Soap and G.H.O.S.T. get separated from the rest, and Soap finds the truth behind G.H.O.S.T.'s technology...

That's all I'm gonna leave you with for now, haha. As you can probably tell, I spent a lot of time playing Zombies in MW3 (idk I just find it a good way to relax), so I really enjoy trying to think of explanations for each mechanic, and how the world would look like 50 years in the future.

[gaylactic-fire]

Apparently no matter how many people complain about it the message just doesn't get through. So here's one last ditch effort to try and help people understand. I would appreciate it if the Linkverse communities spread this around.

Younger fandom members, newer fandom members and LoZ Tumblr newbies listen up!

Linked Universe is a Zelda AU created by Jojo56830. It has its own fandom surrounding the comic Jojo makes and is an entirely self-contained Zelda sub-fandom.

Linked Universe is NOT the catch-all name for every single AU involving the Links being grouped together.

Most people in the fandom refer to these AUs as "Linkverses" or "Links meet AUs", but they can simply just be called Zelda AUs.

Why does this distinction matter? Because tons of creators who also have their own Linkverse AUs repeatedly and often get their works tagged as "Linked Universe" by people reblogging their art.

This, plain and simple, is discouraging and disrespectful. These creators are trying to make their own projects and have undoubtedly done a lot of work to make their ideas distinct and unique. To tag their work as LU forcefully groups their work in with an unrelated AU, simply because both AUs share the same basic concept. Not to mention, it muddies the water and makes it harder for people to recognise these AUs as being distinctive at first glance.

That being said, I understand it can be confusing to tell which AUs are their own separate entity and which AUs (of AUs) are attached to Linked Universe.

As a general rule of thumb, posts that are not tagged as LU should not be tagged as LU (to see the original tags click on the poster's username). But if after that you are still confused, ask someone. Please PLEASE do not make assumptions. You have no idea how much those assumptions might hurt the artist or might cause them to outright block you.

So TLDR

Linked Universe is a story about Links meeting.

But not every story about Links meeting is Linked Universe.

Stop tagging every Link's meet AU you see with Linked Universe tags, because it's getting ridiculous at this point.

[cloudsmateria]

leon kennedy x reader / college au

summary: you and your best friend leon had gone off to university, too busy to see each other for the longest time you'd both been away. you eventually find the time to meet up, getting drunk and acting on some building up feelings :3

warnings: start of a smut, alcohol, not proof read idk its kind of a shit ramble that i didn't put much cohesive effort into but it's quite cute so i posted it

anyway, i’ll probably do the smut in p2

words: 2.7k

It had been a month since you last saw Leon. Ever since you started law school, and he got into his cop training program both of your schedules had been stacked, despite you both still living in the same city the 45-minute commute to each other's homes was too much. As your best friend, you both managed to call each other every other night, confiding about whatever stupid experiences you both had in your new lives.

Tonight, you finally were able to agree on him coming to your apartment tonight, as you finally managed to get all work out of the way to have a fully free weekend off. You didn't realise how excited you were for his arrival until he texted you he was at the door. You sprinted through the halls and threw the door open.

"Leon!" You shout, jumping onto him and wrapping your arms around him.

"Y/n." He smiled, hugging you back.

“I haven’t seen you in way too long.” 

“We saw each other on Facetime last night.” You finally pull away with a smile. 

“You won’t even let me have a moment to be sweet.”

“It weirds me out, you're impossible to take seriously.” He rolls his eyes in response as he walks into your apartment, falling onto your couch, you sit next to him, kicking your legs up and leaning your head against his shoulder. “Did you wanna order takeout?”

“I wanted to go out. Haven’t left my apartment to explore the city since I joined the training academy. But we’ll just stay in here for a few minutes, catch me up, then we can go outside and do dumb shit.”

“Catch you up on what?” You laughed. “You’ve been my virtual therapist for the past month. Let’s talk about you. Show me what you learnt in your training or something, entertain me.”

“You’re right, you’ve talked too much, your voice gives me a headache.” You slap his chest and he lets out a light laugh, grabbing your wrists and pulling you over him to lay on his chest. “Get comfortable first, it’s long.”

“Doubt it.”

“You have it easy. This training is just as physically draining as it is mentally.”

“It shows. You’ve grown a lot since I last saw you.” You say, tracing your finger up his arm that has noticeably grown in size, and he’s already been going gym since he was 15.

He laughs. “You must've missed me bad, I’ve never seen you this nice.”

“What’s the training like?”

“I’m at the top of the class right now but the coaches are fucking evil, 4 people have already left.” He rambles on about the jarring people he’s met and the few friends that he’s made until the story is over and he gets up regretfully as he loses the weight of your body on top of him. You go into your room to change as you are still in pyjamas, getting into a skirt with a baggy sweater you wore a little too much.

“Is that my jumper?” Leon asked as you walked out. “Is it? I've had it for ages." He steps closer and snorts when he gets a closer look, flipping the back to see the label.

"You stole this from me last year."

"You mean I borrowed it indefinitely."

"I could arrest you."

"I'd like to see you try your best, trainee. It looks better on me anyway, finders keepers."

"What if I took it back off you?"

"You'd have to catch me first."

"I'm pretty fast."

"Not as fast as me." You grin before pushing him and sprinting out of your apartment, the sound of his footsteps trailing behind you.

"You think you can lose me?!" He taunted.

"I've done it before!" You shout back, running down the stairs of the apartment complex, and out into the streets, almost losing your breath from how much you were laughing. Suddenly, he sped up to an ungodly speed, picking you up when he caught up and throwing you over his shoulder. "Oh my god! What do they feed you in training?!" You yell, slapping his back.

"Mostly protein." He says, sarcastically.

"Are you gonna put me down or carry me around the city like a caveman?"

"I’ll drop you."

"Don't even joke about that." He laughs.

"Fine, fine, I won't." He puts you down and you both start walking around the city, looking for a corner store to get into.

"Let’s get wasted." You say, pointing to a small corner store.

"You’re so irresponsible." He said, going into the store and coming back out with soda and a bottle of vodka, he popped it open instantly when he came out, taking in a mouthful without wincing, passing it over to you straight after as you both walked down the street.

"I found this nice spot, it's 5 minutes from here."

"You didn't tell me about this when we were on Facetime."

"I was hoping to show you in person, I haven't told anyone else about it." You say, taking a mouthful of the burning liquid, coughing slightly, and passing it back over.

"Well, lead the way."

After a few minutes, you were standing on the roof of an abandoned, bordered car park with a pretty view of the river that ran through the city. You already had a wooden bench up there that you took as someone left it on the side of the road.

"How did you find this?" Leon asks.

"I just went on a walk one day and saw the entrance was bordered up and decided to explore, no-one ever comes up here." You said, leaning against the rails. "How much have we drank?"

"About a quarter of the bottle. Do you want more?" He asked.

"Yeah." He passes it over to you. "Do you remember the time we broke into that abandoned hospital near our high school?"

"And you freaked out when you thought that fake skeleton was real.."

"You're never gonna let that go are you?"

"We had to climb out of the window and I had to catch you before you fell to your death. Of course, I'm not going to let it go, you owe me."

"What do you want then? A drink?”

"I can pay for my own drinks and I just paid for yours." He said signalling to the bottle in your hand.

"You get to continue to enjoy my lovely company, that's all I owe you."

"Good enough." He sighed, taking a swig. The both of you sit around, both of you talking each other's ears off until he makes a suggestion.

"We should play a game."

"What's the game?"

"Truth or dare."

"Yes! I don't remember the last time we played this. Truth."

"Any crushes yet?"

"Honestly, not really. There are some cute guys in my uni but I'm just too busy with work. Truth or Dare."

"Dare."

"I dare you to finish the bottle."

"No problem." He said, finishing the bottle, and dropping it on the ground. You laughed at him, knowing he's going to be out of his mind later.

“You’ve been going to too many parties.” You say, watching in astonishment. “This is definitely some pretence for a future alcohol problem.”

“You’re gonna be the reason for my future alcoholism.”

“To be fair you are the type to become an alcoholic over a girl.”

“You’re that girl. You’re the most annoying thing in my life and I can’t get rid of you.” 

You hit his arm.

“You hit me too. Can’t get worse.” You roll your eyes with a smile.

“Seriously, you got anything going on with any girls?” You ask, feeling a bit of tension rise. He gives you a knowing grin. “Because I love gossip, don’t get any ideas.”

“Yeah, her name is Sienna. Funny girl, might ask her out soon.” You nod, questionably annoyed. “I’m joking. God. You look like you’ve seen a ghost, got something you wanna tell me?”

“The alcohol is just hitting.” You say. “Don’t get so full of yourself. You know I wouldn’t get with you if you were the last man on earth.”

“Yeah, right.” He smiles amusedly, a plan in mind. “Truth or dare, y/n?”

"Dare."

"Kiss me." Your heart stops.

"I'm not kissing you."

"You have to."

“Do I?”

“Never took you for a girl who’d pussy out on a dare.”

You sigh.

"You have some sick satisfaction out of tormenting me." You say, standing up and straddling his thighs. Fuck. You can feel the thick muscles of his shoulders as you rest your hands upon them. 

"You have no idea." You stare at him with a small frown.

"You're so lucky I'm drunk." You lean in slowly, feeling his fingers trace over your skin, sending goosebumps all over your body. You're just a few centimetres away from his lips, your lips parting, your heart thumping, his gaze dropping down to your lips. Suddenly, you hear him quietly laugh as you start to close your eyes.

"I'm not actually going to kiss you." He says.

"What?"

"You don't have to kiss me, it was a joke."

"Oh god." You sigh, faceplanting into his shoulder.

"You're so cute." He snorts, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"I think you’re the one who’s gonna make me an alcoholic." You mumble. 

“Come on, let’s go back to your apartment before you jump off the railings.” He says, letting you get off.

"You're evil." You say once you get to the ground.

"And you're so gullible. How is someone supposed to not take advantage of that?"

"Now you’re showing your true colours, you’re going to regret saying that." You say as menacing as you can, before tripping up from how tipsy you were, just for him to grab the back of your sweater to keep you upright.

"Keep threatening me, I love it."

“Freaky bastard.”

“You have no idea.” He says, grabbing your hand to speed you up for you to trip again, he laughs as you manage to catch yourself. “Do you need me to carry you?”

“No thanks.”

“Too bad because I want to get back in a timely manner.” He says, wrapping his arm around the back of your knees and carrying you off. You weren’t going to complain. 

“Are you not drunk?”

“I’m drunk. I just have more spatial awareness than you.” He carries you the quick 5 minutes to your house. Managing to walk all the way up the stairs with you still in his arms, his stamina was kind of hot, or maybe those were just drunk thoughts. 

He sets you down on your couch, getting you both a glass of water to put on your side table. 

"I didn’t say this but I took some judo classes." You say, just letting whatever dumb shit stumble out your mouth as you take a sip from the glass.

"Did you now?" He says sarcastically.

"We should spar."

"You never fail to surprise me with your stupid ideas." He says while watching you get up. "Are you that confident?"

"You're scared, that's why you're trying to chicken out." He pushes himself up off the couch.

“You’re going to hurt yourself.” He says, watching you hype yourself up, jumping up and down.

“Come on, let’s go.”

“Come at me then.” He said, fully intending to go easy on you. You quickly try to tackle him onto the floor, wrapping your leg around him to drop him, and to his shock he falls onto his back, leaving him groaning and rubbing his back. “I didn’t think you were being serious.”

“Fuck yeah! Told you you’d regret it!” You shout, jumping up, he grabs your leg and pulls it down making you fall over him, rolling over so that you were pinned down by your wrists.

“How cute, Leon.” You smile, tucking feet underneath him onto his chest and launching off you and getting up. You usually weren’t this successful given you’d only gone to 2 classes, the drunkenness definitely provided you some much-needed confidence. He laughs breathlessly from the rollercoaster you just put him through, resting on his wrists for a second before standing up with you. 

“You wanted me to show you what I learnt in training right?” He says, as you rub your hands together mischievously. You run toward him, him holding both of your hands when you try to push him, pushing against each other as he swipes both your feet from under you and pins you to the floor, his shins pressing on your thighs to make sure you don’t pull the same trick again. Both of you are still breathing heavily from the high of the last round. 

 "You should give up now." He whispers, lacing his fingers in between your own.

"You should know better." You whisper back, smiling. His eyes drop down to your lips, his head fogged as the alcohol in his system starts to kick in more.

"What if I don't?" He leans in, brushing his lips over yours, your stomach fluttering, you were so glad you were drunk. You never would've come up with this idea if you were sober.

"What are you doing, Leon?" 

"Beating you up.”

"You're drunk."

"So are you." He replies, connecting your lips. The kiss is slow and soft. Not how you expected a drunk make-out to be. His lips part and your tongue meet his, the both of you letting out quiet sounds as the kiss gets more heated, his body weight shifting down. His arms wrap around your waist, under your jumper as he stands up with your legs wrapped around him. "We shouldn't be making out on the living room floor." He says and presses his lips against yours again. You were already a little light-headed from the alcohol, his lips trailing down your jawline, your neck, the soft breaths of his breath against your skin, it was almost dizzying. His foot pushes your bedroom door open and he places you down on the bed his lips still all over and his fingers lifting the jumper over your head. He trails his fingers over the waistband of your skirt.

"How much did you miss me?" He breathes against your lips.

"More than anything."

"How much did you miss me, Leon?"

“I was going insane." He whispers, his fingers slipping into your underwear, sliding them off and throwing them across the room. He sits up, taking his shirt off.

"Now that's just the alcohol talking."

"It's not, the time away made me realise something I should've ages ago." He said, leaning back over and kissing you. His hand trailed back down under your skirt, a finger gliding over your slit, a soft moan coming from his lips.

[blog-name-idk]

The Plot Twist | 02

Written by @blog-name-idk and @eserethriddle

Summary: Once upon a time you would have jumped at the chance to live the idol girlfriend life. The cameras, the action, the whirlwind romance. But what was once a dream has now become your worst nightmare, and you fully intend to fight the universe as it repeatedly conspires to set you up with your seven perfectly good soulmates from Bangtan Sonyeondan.

In which we punt Y/N into all the fanfiction tropes and you do your feral best to subvert the love story.

Because nani the fuck, you are The Plot Twist.

Pairing: OT7 X Fem!Reader

Genre: Soulmate!AU, crack, humor, idol!AU, light angst, slow burn, romantic comedy, just a fun silly old time

Rating: 18+

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Chapter 2: "Ahjussi, go back to MapleStory."

Life is truly unremarkable as a soulmate-less bachelorette.

Thankfully, none of the symptoms Junior Liaison Officer Choi Mijin mentioned to you have occurred – no bodily anomalies, no universal conspirations – and, on the way home from your parents’ place, you chide your anxious self for letting a thirty-minute phone call upturn the joyous revelries of turning twenty-five.

Though of course, even someone like you can see the grandeur behind it. The potential.

Soulmate. Not half of one’s heart, not ‘mi media naranja,’ but soulmate. Someone utmost, born from the same fabric of life – possibly indelicate, and not without flaws – but beautiful, blameless, and immaterially yours.

It’s great. Really great. But it’s daunting, too. There’s unprecedented pressure in that kind of ordeal, and… you like unremarkable. It’s safe. If you were ever going to be remarkable, it would be in ways you can directly control – like getting to the last floor of skull caverns or politely tearing incompetent coworkers to shreds when they challenge you.

But real life? Real personal relationships, with people that matter? That becomes a polynomial. There are too many variables outside of your ability to dictate, too much that could go wrong for you to spend too long mourning the absence of any soulmate symptoms. And anyway, your singularity isn’t your sob story – it’s your defense. Your most effective one.

You get back to your apartment at half past nine the following morning, heavy tupperwares of side dishes prepared by your mother hoisted in tow. At ease, you whistle a cheery tune as you get settled around your kitchenette, arranging each fully packed box amongst refrigerator shelves with care. You help yourself to an enticing pinch of putbaechu and decide to place its tupperware farther down the back.

Yes, that batch probably needed more time to ferment. After all, it’s impossible for napa cabbage kimchi to taste as sweet as cake.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

In his black-and-white checkered pajamas, Jeon Jungkook happily devours the two-tier caramel-frosted cake for breakfast. Furthermore, because he is a considerate maknae, he leaves the vegan, calorie-measured miniature cake for the rest of his hyungs to share when they wake.

They really don't appreciate him enough.

An early riser, also still in pajamas, Kim Seokjin spots him and tuts. “Jungkook, that isn’t healthy.” When Jungkook suddenly spits out the forkful he’d just shoved into his mouth, the eldest grimaces and admonishes, “Yah! I taught you better than that! That is disgusting behavior.”

“You know what’s disgusting?” Jungkook retorts with a revolted scowl, pushing the offensive dessert box far away from his person, lest it insult him yet again. “Surprise vegan cake. I’m going to sleep, hyung. Good night.”

“You mean ‘good morning.’” Seokjin corrects, reaching for the coffee pot with a sigh. “Brat.”

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

During your afternoon gaming hours, your phone screen lights up with a notification. Your extended arm worms through sofa pillows to swipe and unlock it, and you instantly growl at the e-mail that greets you.

From: executive-offices@samsong.kr Recipients: yln.yfn@samsong.kr, lee.jaesung@samsong.kr Subject: Executive Meeting on Tuesday

Dear Associates,

We hope this e-mail finds you well.

In preparation for the upcoming work week, we would like to advise your stations re: the exploratory meeting with CEO Son Hyunsuk scheduled for this Thursday at 15:00 (KST) on external company collaborations.

We appreciate your confirmation upon receipt of this notice and bid you a happy weekend.

Regards, Samsong Executive Scheduling

“Jesus Kim Christ, it is a Sunday. This should be illegal,” you swear, placing down the handheld gaming console on the couch next to you and getting up to refill your glass of water instead. Unfortunately, on your return from your hydration quest, you bang your ankle on the leg of the coffee table.

"MotherFUCKER!" you curse, collapsing onto your sofa and cradling your leg for a full minute. After recovering, you pick your console back up.

Idly hovering on the gaming screen, Tom Nook stares up at you with a deadpan glare. You’d think his heavy-lidded, judgmental look was a reaction to your use of offensive language, but you roll your eyes at the prospect.

Tom Nook, the island racoon? A landlord. He can judge all he wants. He’s as evil as company capitalists come.

With somehow even less of a conscience.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

“Ah one, ah two, ah five, six, seven, eight!”

Jung Hoseok snaps his fingers as he moves to the beat, flawlessly demonstrating the first few steps of the dance routine. Kim Taehyung watches him, crouched in front of the floor-to-ceiling mirrors like a religious student, except he’s also thinking, That is not how arithmetics works. This is why we are performers and not math teachers.

Hoseok seems to catch the faraway look in Taehyung’s expression, because his limbs freeze, dropping to a sudden stop, brown gaze slanting sharp and deadly. The other boys, sensing blood in the water, subtly shift away and try to look as focused as possible.

“What? Would you rather practice cartwheels with Jimin again?” Hoseok rumbles, hand on hip.

Yes…Taehyung laughs nervously. “No.”

Jimin shoots him a knowing look.

“You know,” Hoseok says, pointedly, brandishing his left leg, “I woke up with more bruises from you again. I couldn’t pair my tie-dye top with my denim shorts so now I’m stuck here practicing in my joggers with you instead of walking around Yongsan.”

You’re welcome, Yongsan, Taehyung thinks. Personally, he believes Hoseok’s fashion sense is something of a moving target.

Hit or miss. Miss a lot.

Oh well. Time to bring out the puppy eyes. “Hobi-hyung, can we start from the chorus instead?” He pouts, for cuteness excess.

“Fine!” the dance leader snaps, trying to mask the way the irritation ebbs out of his voice.

Taehyung suppresses a satisfied grin.

Yup. Works every time.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

By the middle of the work week, Min Yoongi has barely scraped by to meet a hard production deadline. Gears still turning in his mind, day lapses into night, unnoticed in the dark haven of his studio. He leisurely strums his guitar for an hour, puts it down, and reaches to compose an accompanying melody with the use of the nearest piano.

Eventually, Yoongi turns off all his music equipment. In his mind, there’s an echo of a tune he can’t shake away. He can barely hear it himself – soft, feminine, slumberous – and he lays back with his eyes closed to savor the ghost of it instead.

He wants to commit it to memory. It’s something he’s never heard before.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Miles away, you feel pleasantly adrift. It's been months since you moved in, and you hadn’t been aware that your neighbors played music. In fact, the walls between apartment units are assuredly thick enough for all kinds of noises to filter through – a blessing when you get sniped by yet another rune bear.

You're also not really one to enjoy ambient noise outside of your control, but to your surprise, you don't mind this music at all.

It’s nice.

You tuck your knees to your chest and rest your body against the headboard of your bed, closing your eyes to listen. But it seems that the mysterious musician has gone to sleep for the night. Instead, the old made-up lullaby your mother used to sing to you when you were a child filters into your brain unbidden, and you smile at the memory. Within minutes, lightly humming to yourself, you let the notes overtake your thoughts and fall sound asleep.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Tonight, your dream plays like an old movie. Most of your dreams are like this, but here you feel like you exist in snippets – that you’re a passenger in someone else's skin. Like you’re standing at a different height, taller than reality. The colors seem to cling to the edges of your vision like haloed light through fogged glass when you move, leaving you half-sentient, fighting to see through the haze of your subconscious mind. Like you’re not you.

You wonder where you are. Who.

I want to do more, you hear yourself think in your dream. I want to be more.

You see your feet take you away from backrooms with white walls. Your heart’s near bursting and telling you how much of this it missed, telling you you're finally back where you belong.

This: before your very eyes, an ocean of twinkling violet.

There’s an overwhelming rush of love in your chest as a chant fills the air, expanding throughout your body until it's spilling from your eyes. You can feel the skin of your lips stretch into a smile.

Everything feels like a dream come true.

“I’m your hope!” you tell the roaring crowd.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Jung Hoseok bolts upright at exactly 6:15 AM.

Letting out a groan, he drops his face into his hands and croaks out, “What the fuck.”

“You okay, hyung?” Jungkook asks, getting ready to turn in for bed himself. It’s his fourth nocturnal day in a row.

Hoseok usually admonishes Jungkook for this kind of misbehavior, but right now he can’t muster enough indignation. It’s just–

“I had a dream. I was a MapleStory livestreamer and – I was really into it. But really? In this economy?” Hoseok continues to complain in his rough morning voice, “I don’t even game.”

Jungkook sniggers, hogging the blankets to himself. “That’s true. Maybe you traded dreams with Jin-hyung?”

Hoseok rubs the spot between his brows. Frowns. It's possible, Jin does love MapleStory. Though lately he's been on a weird arcade game kick despite Namjoon scolding him for being careless in public.

Appeased, he finds the spark to be a proper hyung to their precious maknae. “Don’t sleep at this time tomorrow, JK. If I catch you again, you’re dead at practice. Capisce?”

Jungkook nods a hundred times and buries himself under the sheets. Hobi might lack the broadness and mustache of the stereotypical Italian mobster, but he manages to exude a menacing aura all the same.

“Capeesh, hyung.”

Because he is not a MapleStory livestreamer, Jung Hoseok climbs out of bed at 6:30 in the morning. Because he has a bunch of back-breaking schedules to get to. It’s another Thursday.

No matter what, he’s going to survive. In this economy.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Thursday meetings are like Monday meetings but from the nine circles of hell combined.

You shuffle into the arcade with a slump in your shoulders but a fire in your heart. The last time you had a day this bad at work was the last time you had come here, to let out your inner rage on tiny dots and cute little ghosts.

You hadn't even realized it was an arcade at first – you had just found your feet moving automatically towards the storefront, as if inexplicably drawn. And as soon as you set foot inside, even before the odd smell of metal tokens that lingers even in arcades with balance cards, an immediate sense of peace washed over you. That this place was safe. That you could enter and put your everyday life and problems on pause for a short, sweet amount of time.

That feeling has remained with each visit, only growing stronger with your increasing familiarity with both the arcade and the elderly owner Lee-ssi, a friendly man who reminds you of your own grandfather.

You're sure that the worn down sight of you in your white blouse and black pencil skirt amidst the backdrop of the rowdy neon arcade is strange, but you figure if your colleagues can release their frustrations by throwing down in public establishments, so can you. In your own way.

The first and last time you went out with your coworkers, the guy from marketing tried to get you to come home with him. So you made up a liver disease to avoid being expected to drink with them again, and are now letting out your frustrations in a much healthier way: against some cocky kid who calls themselves "the Pacman God."

They are pretty good, you will admit.

Just not as good as you.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

There are a few things that never fail to brighten Lee Seungwon's day. Getting to see the half-toothed smile on his baby grandson's face, making his son-in-law uncomfortable when his daughter isn't around, and –

"WHO. DID. THIS?!" Kim Seokjin demands, furiously pointing at the arcade machine standing innocently in the corner, taunting him.

Resisting the urge to laugh, Seungwon only sighs and crosses his arms, looking like he'd rather be anywhere else. Which is truly a front, because despite all the annoyances that come with running an arcade, he truly loves his job. He loves providing a space where kids can be kids, and the rare adult can relive the worry-free days of their youth.

"We respect the privacy of our clients, sir," he says politely, lips twitching at Seokjin's dramatic shriek of outrage. Seungwon has especially been looking forward to this particular adult's reaction upon finding his high score beaten by one of the newer regulars.

"Don't you remember who I am?!" the handsome man questions, and the storekeeper looks him up and down, once again unimpressed. Seokjin remembers he's ensconced in a bright pink hoodie and pink sweatpants, then gives a mental shrug.

Whatever. He looks good in everything.

"Yes. ‘Jin the Pacman God.’ Currently… number two in that game," the shopkeeper sneers as he insults the most handsome man in Korea – possibly the world. "Second to GoDsLaYeR_69." he adds, for good measure.

Seokjin gapes at the audacity of this mortal, his gamer rage only further activated by the offensive words that come out of Seungwon’s mouth next.

"Maybe you should go back," the shopkeeper suggests, inspecting his cuticles, "to MapleStory." After a pause, he puts the final nail in the coffin currently housing Seokjin's pride: "Ahjussi."

The Kim Seokjin, being called ahjussi by a man who looks older than Yoongi's soul?

That's it. That's fucking it.

With gurgling, unintelligible squawks of indignation, Seokjin pulls out his wallet and slaps his arcade card on the counter, followed by his black credit card.

"Load this up with 2,000,000W. Right now."

Lee Seungwon hides a smirk as he obeys.

It's just too easy.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

It had been a rare occasion in which all of the boys’ evenings (and following mornings) had been free simultaneously, and Hoseok decided to celebrate this in a way so rarely possible for them to do together anymore: to find a noraebang and get absolutely wasted.

"How did I let you guys persuade me into doing this again?" Namjoon asks, blinking in a mixture of joy and consternation at the freshly inked, slightly inflamed 7 on his skin. He flexes the side of his leg and watches the clear bandage wrinkle and smooth at the motion.

"Friendship!" Taehyung announces happily, eyes alight as he sways ever so slightly in his chair. Jungkook and Jimin are fully knocked out on each of Taehyung’s shoulders, their demonic sides hidden by the angelic expressions on their sleeping faces.

"No," Yoongi corrects, revealing a bottle of Suntory whisky from god-knows-where. "This."

"Ah, yes!” Eyes bright with satisfaction, Namjoon’s dimples deepen, and Seokjin laughs at how childish Namjoon looks in his glee as he receives his prize and cradles it to his chest with utmost and deliberate regard. With his vision blurred from all of the alcohol, it almost looks like it's disappearing into the leader's ample bosom. “Sunny, my frieeeend!"

Yoongi nods at him, ten times too much, then glances at Taehyung as he narrowly avoids falling off his chair for the umpteenth time. “The infants are fading,” he mutters, “Let’s get them home.”

Twenty minutes later, Hoseok emerges behind a curtain with a brand new tattoo, ready to show it off and receive compliments for being brave and only screaming once.

Except he’s all alone in the waiting room.

He waits a single beat before looking around in confusion.

“Guys?”

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

You stumble through your doorway, confused by your body's decision to stop functioning properly. It had begun at the arcade, your normal precision and flawless execution apparently deciding to take its own mental health day and leaving you with slowing reflexes and sloppy reactions.

Finally, you decided to leave after realizing you'd been growling at the machine for the better part of an hour.

Well actually, Lee-ssi had kindly given you a bottle of water and suggested you take a break because you were scaring the kids. You decided to go home lest your happy place become tainted by the miasma of your god-slaying alter ego.

On the train, you nodded off and almost missed your stop – something that never happens. You tripped on your way off the train, and you had initially blamed it on being drowsy, but the trek from the station to your apartment did nothing to dispel your clumsiness.

If you didn't know any better, you would have thought you had gone drinking with your coworkers and were now stumbling home in a drunken haze. But you've been at the arcade since you left work, so that's impossible.

Maybe you're getting sick. That would explain the fogginess in your head, the sluggishness of your limbs.

Feeling under the weather, you spend the night in the dark of your bedroom. But then intense, prickling feelings bug you all over. Instead of the rest you hoped for, the hours are filled with tossing and turning, needle-points on your skin that fall just shy of being painful.

When you wake up, you find your skin tattooed seven different times with the number seven in seven different places.

Um.

What the fuck?

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Masterlist | Next

[oddinary4bts]

The Forgotten Spaces | ch 9 (jjk)

☆summary: you've been dancing on the same dance crew since your teenage years, and you finally have an important role in it. It feels like life is taunting you when your rival comes back after disappearing for a year, ready to tease you every chance he gets. Will the teasing turn into more, or are you going to take him down with you?

☆pairing: photographer and dancer!Jungkook x dancer!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, there is mature content in previous/later chapters)

☆genre: slow (SLOW) burn enemies to lovers, college!au, slice of life!au, angst (oop), smut and fluff

☆warnings: ending of that lil bit of miscommunication in ch 8, a very heartfelt conversation, probably some curses

☆word count: 7k

☆series masterpost here

☆a/n: Finallyyyyy, the angst is ending my friends. I hope you'll enjoy it <3 and also thank you to @moonleeai for her beta reading on this fic, I won't ever thank you enough, you're the best <3

☆Read What Was Hidden here, the fic that inspired this whole story, written by @daechwitatamic, one of my fav human beings on this app <3 It follows the story of Jo and Taehyung before The Forgotten Spaces

☆☆☆☆☆

For this meeting of our end of the world

It's with you that I want to sing

On the threshold of the memories the dead of today

Them that breathe for us

The forgotten spaces

Je t'écris - Gaston Miron (rough translation by me)

☆☆☆☆☆

Tuesday, September 25th

                You wake up slowly at first. Like a feather, softly falling, unbothered by the weight of the universe. It’s calm, like a forest in the winter when it’s snowing. It’s peace personified, like the world never held any wars or pain.

Then you wake all at once, like you’re struck by lightning, energized by it, electricity coursing through your blood. You feel his presence before you see him, and you think you’d be mad at him for lying next to you.

But when your eyelids flutter open to the sight of his purple room, all that fills you is peace again.

It grows tenfold when you turn and see him lying next to you, on his belly, hand reaching towards you. His mouth is slightly open, and he’s lying on top of the covers.

Which means he never meant to fall asleep next to you.

You haven’t realized how long his hair has grown before. Because right now it’s falling in front of his eyes, and you want to brush it behind his ear. It’s a visceral need, and the peace grows once more.

It grows and grows, and you reach and push his hair back, softly. Fingertips grazing his cheek, staying there as if they’ve found a home. He closes his mouth in his sleep and sighs, but he doesn’t wake up. He returns to his soft snoring a second later, and you just run your fingers along his cheekbone, tracing the planes of his face ever so softly.

But tomorrow has come, or is coming soon. And the peace grows again, until it bursts.

Until it bursts and aches, choking you up. Your hand rests heavier on his cheek as tears blur your vision, and the explosion of peace crushes your heart, until a sob finds its way up.

You choke on the sob, and quickly sit to move away from Jungkook. In this moment, all you can think is that he’s hers. Your brain produces the words like a litany in your mind, and you think it’s making you crazy.

You were crazy to come here in the first place. To think you deserved a spot at Jungkook’s side.

You grab your phone, and see that it’s the middle of the night. You don’t care one bit, and you call Jisung. Not Jiho, because Jiho doesn’t know how to drive, and she also has a midterm tomorrow morning.

Jisung doesn’t pick up, and you choke on another sob as you call again. This time, the call goes on voicemail quicker than it’s supposed to, and you receive a text a second later.

[4:46 am] Sungie: you better have a good reason for waking me up in the middle of the night🙄 [4:46 am] Sungie: what’s up? [4:47 am] You: can u come pick me up? [4:47 am] Sungie: what’s wrong [4:48 am] You: it’s complicated. mom kicked me out, and i’m at jk’s place [4:48 am] Sungie: wtf? [4:48 am] Sungie: i don’t wanna go outside😭 and i’ll kill your mom, but what’s new. [4:49 am] Sungie: omw

You sigh a breath of relief, but it breaks on your lips and you cry out, as the tears and the pain win once again, as they’ve been winning all evening.

You get up, you take a few steps, you stumble on something and catch yourself on the wall. You feel like you’re going to be sick, you’re tired, exhausted, and you wish for your bed.

But you don’t have a home anymore, do you?

Jungkook says your name. He says your name like you’re a prayer, and you break some more, refusing to even turn to look at him. You just stumble to your bags, pick them up and try to reach for the door.

Jungkook stops you with a gentle hand on your wrist.

He repeats your name, and you refuse to look at him. This time, when he tries to pull you in, you resist. You don’t want him to touch you, you don’t want him to hold you when you know it’s all just a lie. When you know tomorrow will come and he’ll be gone.

He’s forgotten you. He’s forgotten you too, he’s forgotten the pain he brings. And you think, if the world was ending, would he stand on the threshold of your memories together with you? Because you think you got lost in the memories, you forgot memories come and go.

“Let me go,” you beg, weakly, because you’re weak. Like you’ve been sick, and you think you might be. Maybe your broken heart festered inside of you, releasing toxins into your bloodstream until it rendered you sick.

“Please tell me what’s wrong,” he says in an equally weak voice, but he does let go of you.

You scoff, and you don’t say anything before turning the doorknob and opening the door.

“I’m sorry that I fell asleep next to you,” Jungkook says, and he sounds like he’s panicking. Like he doesn’t want you to slip through his fingers. But the tighter he holds you, the more you slip. You’re like sand: immortal in the way you’ll always slip through his fingers, like he’ll always slip through yours.

“It’s not that.” You drop one of the bags, because your wrist hurts almost equally as your heart. “Jungkook, you have a girlfriend, we shouldn’t be together.”

You eye your bag, deciding that it’s not worth trying to pick it up. You’ll ask Jo to bring it to you wherever you’ll find a home for the next few days. You’re walking away, striding away, running away.

You’re fleeing like he fled that night he told you about her. Part of you wishes you could rush to your mother’s side, could show her your broken heart and beg her for the love she is supposed to give you. Unfortunately, her maternal affection ran low far too long ago.

But Jisung is coming. That’s all that matters.

You’re at the top of the stairs when Jungkook speaks next. “I broke up with Laura.”

You still. As much as you were breaking a second ago, your heart just stops shattering. Just stops existing altogether for a moment.

“What?”

“I broke up with her Sunday morning.”

You turn to look at him. He’s barely visible in the purple light that escapes his room, and you can’t see his features. But you feel the weight of his gaze on you.

“What?”

“I’m not with her anymore. I wanted to talk to you about it tomorrow only, because I found you already vulnerable earlier.” He pauses. “That’s why I went to the studio in the first place.”

“Jungkook…”

You wonder if he’s breaking in time with you. You wonder if he too was vulnerable tonight, and if that’s the reason why he’s cried so much.

Did he care for her enough to ache from your presence?

“I didn’t want you to think I was taking advantage of you by telling you while you were vulnerable.”

You understand why he chose to do it that way. But you still hate him for it.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I know.”

“You’re a fucking idiot, Jeon Jungkook.”

You think he might be smiling. He does sound like he’s smiling when he speaks next. “Can I hug you?”

“I hate you.”

He laughs, and it breaks, and you only then realize that he wasn’t smiling. He’s crying, and he wipes a hand on his face.

“Don’t…” you trail off, and then you both startle as Jin appears in the doorframe to his room.

“Can you guys please shut the fuck up, it’s the middle of the night.”

You snort. It sounds like a pig, or maybe a hog or a boar. You actually have no idea what it sounds like, just that it’s hysteric, as is the laughter that erupts from you and Jungkook quite at the same time.

Jin just watches the both of you as if you’re crazy, and you are. You’ve suffered so much you’ve gone crazy, and you don’t even care.

You laugh longer than Jungkook, shedding tears that you dry mindlessly with your thumb. Tears heavy with emotions, different emotions than the ones that you’ve been feeling for weeks.

Indeed, hope has cracked some part of the pain, like a sunrise that shines through a veil of thick clouds, sunrays stubbornly refusing to be stopped by the bleariness.

You laugh for all the breaking that you did, and it’s no wonder Jungkook eventually moves to grab your hand and pull you back into his room. Only then do you stop laughing, and you say, “Jisung is coming to pick me up.”

That showers the both of you until you’ve calmed down, enough to be able to glance at Jin that’s still watching with the most disgusted expression on his features. When the two of you find him on his doorstep, Jin figures it’s better to dip, and he goes in, shutting the door softly behind him.

You think you see him winking at Jungkook before he disappears from view.

“Okay,” Jungkook lets out. “That’s okay, let me grab your bag.”

“You’re not angry?”

He shakes his head no in the faint light of the hallway, glancing at you as he grabs the bag you left near his door. “No. I understand that you need some space. And we’ll talk tomorrow, right?”

You nod. You nod because you’re done breaking. “I’ll call you first thing in the morning.” And then you feel infinitely stupid, because he’s blocked your number months ago.

Jungkook has probably thought about the same thing, because as he’s walking back towards you, he says, “I’m sorry I blocked you.”

You raise your hand, the one whose wrist is in a brace. “We’ll talk tomorrow. Just unblock me.”

“I…” he trails off. “I don’t know how to.”

You shut your eyes. “You’re annoying.”

“I’ll figure it out”, he promises. “I’ll figure it out and I’ll be the one calling you.”

You nod, and you look at him. “I… might be angry at you.”

“I deserve it.” He grabs the bag you’re holding, and then motions to the stairs. “You can punch me if you want, but we should go downstairs before Jin kills me.”

“Please do!”

You both laugh once again, and you think you hear a feminine voice scolding Jin.

You follow Jungkook downstairs, shining light with your phone so you don’t fall. Jungkook leads you right to the hall, and he puts your bags down by the door. He then leans down to massage his knee, and you wonder if pain has licked its fingers up his thigh the way it’s been licking its fingers up your arm.

But not in your heart. Your heart is done aching.

You glance outside, and you see that Jisung is already there. He must have been at Felix’s place. Jungkook notices too as he stretches, and you think you see disappointment on his features.

“Do you want me to carry the bags to the car?” he asks, gently.

You reach out between you, hand moving up until it’s cupped his cheek. He looks startled, eyes going round and looking between your two pupils a couple of times.

“I’m sorry I woke you up”, you say as you let your hand fall, because you have no idea why you did that in the first place.

“No, don’t be,” he reassures you. “I’m glad I woke up and could reassure you. I don’t like misunderstandings.”

You think he’s a little full of shit for saying so, because you wouldn’t have been in this position if he listened to you in July. But you refrain from telling him, because you’re going to talk to him tomorrow, and tomorrow only. When you’ll both be ready.

Tonight, you’re still going to cling to the fact that he cares.

He cares, and he hasn’t forgotten about you, or about the July night sky. No, he too still can see the stars that night.

And suddenly, you don’t fear tomorrow anymore.

*****

                Felix’s apartment is cozy in the morning light. But the absence of curtains in the living room windows has made it hard to sleep. You’re lucky you don’t have a class today. You usually do, a three-hour long class at 8 am, but the professor gave you a week off before the midterm next week. He’s still available for office hours, but you’ve had him before in another class. You know he’s not a strict grader. So you’re not going to make it to office hours, and you’ll try to catch up on more sleep before Felix and Jisung wake up.

It’s hard to fall back asleep though. Indeed, your thoughts have been clouded with Jungkook. With the anxiety that you can finally talk to him now, that he’s not hers, but that you don’t even know if you have something to tell him.

He was soft yesterday. Willing to help, wearing his heart on his sleeve the way you reckon he did it that July weekend. It reminds you that Jungkook has a heart of gold. It took you years before you saw it, but now it’s blinding you.

Jungkook would go to the ends of the Earth to help the people he cares about. And he cares about you. You, with the flaws that make the mosaic of you. You, who’s never been able to love, and now you think maybe you’ve loved all along.

Because what was that hate for him, if not misguided love? Immature feelings, maybe. Though you wouldn’t call it love. You wouldn’t dare say you love Jungkook. But you do feel for him. You feel for him the way you feel for the early morning. It’s filled with possibilities, with calm and serene moments. It doesn’t ask for anything but offers all. And maybe that’s how you’ve been feeling for him all along.

You sigh, turning so your back is to the window, trying to block out the rising sun so you can sleep some more. It does nothing to how your heart’s been acting up, but you still force yourself to lie in silence, to enjoy the feeling of infinity today carries.

You’ve dozed off a little by the time movement is heard in the apartment, and your eyes flutter open to look at the ceiling, as you’ve turned on your back. You yawn, stretching a little, before glancing to the side.

You let out a high-pitched squeal at the sight of the shirtless man that’s standing there, and he startles just as much as you, letting out a sound that rivals with the one you just made.

He’s not Felix, and he’s not Jisung. In reality, you have no idea who he is. You didn’t even know Felix has a roommate.

“Who are you?” the guy asks, and the first thing you notice is his accent.

“Jisung’s friend,” you reply as you sit up.

The man seems to realize he’s half naked, and he folds his arms on his chest. It makes his biceps pop out, and you reckon he’s quite the sight to see so early in the morning.

You have the decency to blush at the thought, and you look down at the floor.

“He and Felix offered to let me sleep here,” you add, worrying at your bottom lip. “I’m not going to stay.”

The guy shrugs. “Hey, it’s okay. Just was startled.” He laughs a little, before glancing in the direction of what you assume is the kitchen. “Do you want some coffee?”

“Uh,” you let out. “Yeah, sure.”

Turns out the guy is called Chris. The accent you’ve heard at first is the unmistakable Australian accent, and he informs you that he’s moved here with Felix for college. You end up eating breakfast along with him, because he’s decided to make protein pancakes. You’re surprised at how good they are, and you’re idly chatting at the kitchen table when Jisung enters.

He looks between you and Chris once, before saying, “You’ve got explanations about how you ended up at Jungkook’s place last night.”

He’s got a firm authoritative tone to his voice, and you recognize him for the older brother he is to you. You let out a shy laugh, before shrugging your shoulders.

“I already told you mom kicked me out.”

Chris’s eyes go wide as saucers as he looks at you, before his gaze dips down to his pancakes and he focuses on eating them.

“Yes, but Jungkook?”

Felix appears behind Jisung, brushing sleep out of his eyes. “Leave her alone, Han.”

Jisung glares at his boyfriend, before shrugging his shoulders. “I just think it’s weird because he’s got a girlfriend.”

“They broke up”, you say in a defensive tone.

Because it’s Jungkook you’re talking about, and you’d always defend him.

Jisung looks so surprised you almost start laughing. And it’s weird that you’re in a laughing mood – you were kicked out yesterday for God’s sake. But at the same time, it feels like you’ve reached the limit of your breaking, and the morning holds the possibility of healing.

The morning, and Jungkook, you reckon. Because you know healing starts with Jungkook. Healing starts with figuring out where it all went wrong, it starts with the conversation you’re supposed to have later.

Some place you also can study, hopefully, because you’ve got a midterm on Thursday.

“You’re fucking shitting me,” Jisung lets out as Felix starts pouring coffee for himself.

You shrug, feeling shy as everyone’s gaze moves to you. “They broke up on Sunday.”

“And you were over yesterday? Boy’s not wasting time.”

You furrow your brows. “It’s actually a coincidence that I ended up at his place. And Jiji’s fault.”

“Jiji? She hates his guts,” Jisung points out, still not fully believing you.

“She told him to go to the studio, he found me crying about getting kicked out and he offered me to spend the night before I figure out what to do.”

“That’s fair enough”, Felix says, interrupting Jisung who clearly was about to say something vile about Jungkook.

Jisung frowns, but he sighs and lets the expression go. He fully walks into the kitchen, helping himself to some of the pancakes Chris made. “He hurts you again I’ll fucking punch him.”

“Sungie,” you whine. “You’re the one that wanted me to tell him how I felt.”

“That was ages ago,” he reminds you. “I also told you to move on.”

“We’re going to talk today,” you admit.

There’s a heavy silence that follows your words. Jisung looks at you like you’re stupid, Chris seems like he wants to disappear, and Felix scrolls away on his phone as if he hasn’t heard.

“You ask me to come pick you up from his place in the middle of the night and then you say you’ll talk today?” Jisung eventually says, voice low.

It makes you feel stupid, and it makes you realize that maybe, maybe talking to Jungkook will lead nowhere.

Maybe you’re just going to offer each other closure before you truly move on. But you think you still deserve the closure, you still deserve the moving on. No matter how you might feel for Jungkook, some things truly are just not meant to be.

And this morning you think maybe that’s okay.

“I didn’t know yet that they were broken up,” you admit. “He didn’t want to drop it on me while I was crying because of my mother.”

“Valid,” Felix lets out, offering you salvation from Jisung’s wrath.

“Please,” Jisung scoffs. He seems to realize Jungkook might have actually done it right, because he adds, “Whatever. As I said, if he hurts you, he’s dead.” He’s frowning again, shaking his head. “And I can’t fucking believe your mother. My parents will give you a room at home if you want.”

The pain comes back now, but it’s different. Dull, as if Jungkook took its edges and softened them last night.

“Thank you.” You sigh, looking down at your plate, and you know you won’t be able to finish eating. “I’m going to get an apartment.”

It changes the subject to apartment hunting, and Jisung does his best to not appear too pissed whenever you mention that Jungkook will be helping you. Because even if all you give each other today is closure, you know Jungkook will still help.

You think you might know him better than you know yourself after all.

You follow Felix out when he says he needs to leave for college. You reckon sharing a Lyft might be a good idea, because you’re still on the other side of town. Felix agrees, though he admits he usually takes public transport to go to college. You shrug your shoulders, saying you’ll pay, and it’s halfway to your college that you realize something.

You realize you need to stop spending and to start saving money, if you want to be able to afford an apartment. And it makes you feel strange inside, like you might still have more that can break.

You cling to the feeling this morning holds. But some part of you is growing weary, dreary, because you get to college before Jungkook texts, and he told you he’d text you first thing in the morning. You don’t know his schedule though. You can’t assume his morning starts at the same time as yours do, so you try to stay calm and not let panic rise in you.

Felix walks with you on campus, until you part ways because he has to get to class. You decide you’re going to squat in the library, with your damn duffel bag and school bag you’ve been carrying around since yesterday. You find a spot in a corner, and you get busy studying, figuring it’s a better way to pass the time instead of looking at your phone expecting Jungkook to call you, to give you a sign of life.

You like studying. As much as law is a hard subject, it makes you feel connected to your father, somehow, and you like it. You like the highlighters and the lo-fi medieval beats and the books filled with laws and ethics and everything in between. You like being in a library, looking like you’ve got your shit together. You think that, to outside eyes, you probably look like you do. You can invent a life to yourself here, one where you haven’t been kicked out. One where you’re the pride of your family, and where you go skiing in the Alps once a year, taking pictures that you hang over the fireplace.

Not that you’re a big skier, and not that you’d go to the Alps anyway. You’d rather backpack around the world, discovering cultures unheard of before.

But sometimes, you do wish your family would have worked. You do wish your father never left, your mother never cheated. And sometimes, you do wonder who’s your biological dad.

Not that it’s important, and not that you will know one day. Your mother says she doesn’t even remember his name, and he was just a back-up dancer in a foreign country. Not someone that you’d ever have a chance of running into.

You sigh, turning the page of the book you’ve been reading. It’s about international law, your favourite subject, and your hardest class this semester. Professor Wickham is a bitch, and she loves failing people. Loves the look of pure distress people throw at her during exams, because she insists on being there while her students take her exams.

She’s a bitch, but she’s also renowned in the field, and you’ve been trying to make a good impression on her forever. Even though she refused you last semester when you tried getting an internship with her. Even though your summer internship still ended being great.

You run a hand through your hair, and you reach towards the reusable water bottle you always carry with you. Your hand stops halfway when your phone lights up next to you, and you grab it, heart beating wildly in your chest.

To your dismay, it isn’t Jungkook, but Jimin texting you.

[10:17 am] park.jm: jk wants me to tell you he’s an idiot [10:17 am] park.jm: he’s not able to unblock u. But he wants to know where u are🫥

You can’t hold in the smile that decides to grow on your lips.

[10:17 am] You: my college’s library. he can unblock me on insta and dm here..🙄

This time, you laugh a little when you see the next message you’ve received.

[10:18 am] jkonthebeat: i’m fkg dumb [10:18 am] jkonthebeat: is there a cafe near ur library? [10:19 am] jkonthebeat: haven’t eaten yet and figured it’d be great to talk over a cup of coffee? [10:19 am] jkonthebeat: if u still wanna talk [10:19 am] jkonthebeat: like i’d understand if u’d rather not? plz don’t feel like you have to [10:19 am] You: Jungkook [10:20 am] jkonthebeat: …what? [10:20 am] You: yes i still want to talk. i’ll send u the location of a chill place [10:21 am] jkonthebeat: okay, yeah good. i’ll be there as quickly as i can [10:23 am] You: shared location [10:26 am] jkonthebeat: eta 35 min😌

You can almost imagine Jungkook panicking on his side of the screen, and it makes you laugh a little more. Some guy throws you a look from the table where he’s sitting, and you offer him a wry smile before looking down at your international law book again. You still have a few pages to read in the chapter, so you decide to do that before meeting up with Jungkook.

It’s really hard to focus when you know his starry gaze is waiting for you. You eventually make it through, though it takes you so long you have to jog to the café to make it on time. You’re out of breath when you get there, and maybe a little sweaty, which you reckon might be disgusting. But Jungkook arrives almost right in time with you, hands digging in the pockets of his sweater pants. He looks like he came in his PJs, and you offer him a small smile when his eyes meet yours.

It’s an embrace, the same way the sun embraces the Earth every morning. It feels like you’d feel lying down in the morning sun rays, letting them warm your cold skin from the lightless night. It feels like you’re safe, like you’ve journeyed around the world only to return to the same spot that you’ll always return to.

He’s cataclysmic, he really is. Like he created you that night in July, the same way you know you’ve created him. In truth, you reckon the cataclysm might be you two together. As if the stars wrote the story decades ago, as if the universe knew your fate from its birth.

You expect it to hurt, but it doesn’t. It’s peaceful. You reckon you deserve a little bit of peace.

“Hey,” he greets you, and you wonder if you’re imagining the pink tint on his cheeks.

“Good morning.” You glance over your shoulder, at the door to the café, before meeting his soft gaze once more. “Do you want to go in?”

He nods, laughing a little. “I got to admit I’m starving.”

“Well, let’s get some food for you,” you say, and you turn.

You’re about to open the door when he grabs the duffel bag from you. “Let me carry that.”

“Oh,” you let out. “I don’t mind, I’m getting used to it.”

He just offers you a no-bullshit look that leaves no room for arguing, so you chuckle before opening the door. He follows you inside, and you choose a table in a quiet corner before you go to order something. You settle on an almond croissant while Jungkook gets a coffee and a cinnamon bun, along with a muffin that ‘looks too good to be left there’. You roll your eyes at his comment, but he just offers you a wink.

It’s the wink you once thought was cocky. It’s not cocky at all anymore today, just teasing.

You’re back at the table and halfway through your croissant when Jungkook says, “Thank you for accepting to meet up.”

It makes you anxious, because the time has come. No matter how much you want this conversation to happen, you can’t help but dread it too.

“Of course.”

He worries at his piercing, big doe eyes watching you carefully. You feel as if he’s gazing right at your soul, and maybe he is.

Maybe he’s been gazing at it since the very first day.

“I’m going to start by saying I’m sorry,” he says, with a shy insecure voice you’ve never heard from him before. “Not that it changes anything. I can’t imagine how it must have felt for you all this time.”

Straight to the point. For some reason, you expected him to talk about your mother. But maybe he believes the subject to be over, or he’s been wanting to talk to you for too long about what’s been troubling his heart.

“It…” you start but you don’t know how to say it. You don’t know which adjective to employ, because all of them feel like you’re just trying to guilt him. And though you do want him to feel guilt, you know you don’t have to impose it on him.

He’s doing it to himself already.

“It’s been really hard,” you choose to simply say, because it’s the truth. “The way you did a one-eighty in just a few days? Like…” you trail off because you don’t know where to go, but Jungkook’s listening, waiting for you to continue patiently as he surveys you with those big eyes of his. “Like I felt horrible. The moment I told you we shouldn’t have…”

That’s what you wanted to tell him in July. Strange to think that the words are coming out now.

“I don’t think I believed it. Maybe I wanted to believe it, because it was scary, but I never believed it. And I’m sorry I said that.”

He’s still playing with his piercing, and it takes him a while to digest your words. “I knew, if that can make you feel any better. Not that I think it’ll feel better. But you have to understand that it really hurt me. Like…” It’s his turn to look for words, and you anxiously wait for what’s to follow. “I’m not a perfect person. I try to be, and I’ve tried even harder after the accident. But when you said that, I felt ashamed. Like I’m just someone disgusting. And I focused on it so hard the only thing I could think to do was push you away.”

And he did it. So easily, as if you were nothing but some weed he was taking out from his burgeoning flowers.

It hurts, that same pain you’ve grown accustomed to over the last few months. You want to flee, to disappear, but you know you have to face your feelings. Ignoring them brought you nowhere good, didn’t it?

“Did it help you feel better?” you ask.

A crease appears between his brows, and you wish to reach between you so you can flatten it away. Needless to say, you resist the impulse, and hate yourself for having it in the first place.

“It did?” he admits, though he sounds unsure. “I can’t lie and say I didn’t get scared too. It was terrifying. But I think I knew before you did.”

“What?”

“I think the night after I told you about the accident?” he says like a question, waiting for you to nod before he continues. “It changed something for me. I couldn’t see you the same way that I saw you before.”

You remember the day after he told you. You were angry at him, because he ignored the text you sent him when you woke up. Mostly because you were embarrassed that you acted like you cared, and you reckon you already did too. It feels like a lifetime ago, and for a mere moment you wish you could be back there and tell yourself to stop being blind. It’d save you a heartbreak.

“Oh,” is all you can think to say.

“So then it all culminated when you looked like you regretted so much,” he adds. You think you see him gulp. “Not going to lie, it actually really hurt. And when I hurt, I tend to turn into a very ugly person.” At that he can’t hold your gaze anymore, and he chuckles bitterly as he shakes his head. “Ask Tae.”

“You weren’t an ugly person”, you gently say after he’s stared at his half-eaten cinnamon bun for a while. “I hurt you, and you tried to move on. No?”

He looks at you again then. “Yeah. But I think some part of me wanted to hurt you too. And…” His gaze lines with silver, and his words die on his mouth. It makes you feel like there’s lava in your blood again, and you shiver. “And I did hurt you. I saw you wasting away all those weeks. You looked… so sad. And nobody cared.”

You don’t think it’s true that nobody cared. But you think you understand what he’s trying to say: nobody cared the way that he did, nobody can care the way that he does. Or so you like to tell yourself.

“It wasn’t just you, if that can reassure you,” you admit, eyes falling to his coffee cup as he picks it up. He doesn’t move to drink, just holds it, maybe because he needs to busy his hands. “There was my mom, and then Jiho growing distant, and all that shit. The internship was great, but it was rough too.”

All of it is true, though you know it wouldn’t have felt as gut-wrenching if you didn’t have to watch Jungkook loving someone else coincidentally.

“Thank you for saying so.” He clears his throat, tries a glance your way but decides to let his gaze drop again. He shifts in his chair a little, before saying, “I understand why you didn’t come to dance practice most of the time. And honestly, I didn’t like that you weren’t there. I know it makes me selfish, but I… I wanted to see you? Because…” He gulps, and you watch a tear as it rolls down his cheek. “Because then I could at least know that you were okay?”

You shut your eyes, nodding slowly. “It was just too hard to see you.”

“I know.”

There’s a pause in the conversation, while both of you fight the emotions that are choking you up. You expected you’d get angry at him, but all you’re able to feel is longing, the kind of longing that aches and burns and crushes your heart.

“I was a dick for not listening to you that night after practice,” he says, slowly. You open your eyes to look at him, catching his eyes on you before they flit back to the table. “I knew exactly what you were going to say, and I couldn’t hear it. I think if we had had this conversation then, I would have hated you.”

It’s your turn to gulp. “Why?”

“Because it was too soon. I was still neck deep in the embarrassment, and in the selfishness. But I wish I didn’t have to break your heart for the embarrassment to go away.”

“You think the ending would have been worse if I had told you that night?”

You sound like you don’t believe it. Maybe because for weeks you’ve kept telling yourself that it would have made things better. It’s hard to accept that it could have made things worse.

“Oh, trust me,” he says, scoffing. “I would have been very ugly. Remember all the fights we used to have? They wouldn’t have compared.” He pulls at his piercing, hard, and you think it probably hurts, but he doesn’t look like he cares. “I was ready to hurt you. That’s why I left.”

There’s an untold sentence there, but you hear it nonetheless.

I knew I was already going to hurt you anyway.

And that he sure did. But you find it hard to be angry at him today. You do let a silence linger for a time, only because you feel like cursing and crying at the same time, and you don’t want either to happen.

It passes, with your gaze diverting to the street outside. You watch a woman walking her dog until she’s disappeared from view, and then your eyes move up to the blue sky. It’s strange how sunny it is, when you feel like a tiny storm is brewing between you and Jungkook.

“Were you happy with her?” you ask, eyes still on the world outside.

It takes a while for Jungkook to reply. “I don’t know, honestly. I wasn’t sad by her side, I won’t lie to you, but I don’t think I was happy.” He chuckles sadly. “In all truth, I think I was punishing myself by being with her.”

It makes you look at him again, and this time your gazes connect like long lost lovers hugging after years apart.

“Punishing yourself for what?”

“For all the bad things I told you, all the times I tried to get on your nerves on purpose.” He shrugs. “For the way I purposefully decided to break your heart, and how I tried to ignore the consequences at first.” He speaks with conviction now, like that’s really what he’s been wanting to say all along. “I knew that being with her was hurting me, and I believed I deserved it.”

“But why?”

“Because… I feel like we’re going in circles, so I won’t repeat all that I just said. But because of all of that,” he says, and there’s a ghost of a smile on his lips. “All in all, I just was a fucking idiot.”

You can’t agree more, so you purse your lips and nod once. “That you were.”

He doesn’t even fake offence, just chuckles a little before taking a sip of coffee.

“Do you really want to help me with the apartment?” you ask, thoughtfully, eyes glazing a little as your mind runs miles away from him, to the place of hurt that being homeless at the moment is bringing to you.

“Yes,” he answers softly. “Not even because I want to redeem myself or anything. Like I said yesterday, I do care about you. And I wouldn’t let you go through a situation like this alone.”

You inhale shakily, blinking away the sudden tears. You won’t cry again.

“Okay.”

There’s another silence, only interrupted by the regular café sounds. You only then notice that there’s some music playing, but it’s so low you can barely make-out the song. It sounds like some indie artist you’ve heard once before, but it’s hard to tell.

“Do you think…” he starts, but he doesn’t finish. Instead, he eats a bite of cinnamon bun, as if he’s giving himself time to collect his thoughts. “Do you think we could be friends? Like… I don’t think I deserve your friendship, after everything that’s happened, but I’d forever be thankful if you still gave it to me.”

You don’t even hesitate before you say, “Of course, Jungkook.” You’re choking on tears again. “Of course we’re friends.”             

He’s crying too. “We can put it in the past?”

You bite at your lip to keep a sob in. “It might take some time, but yes, I think we can.”

“Fuck”, he curses, then he adds your name like it’s his favourite line from his favourite poem. He says it softly, carefully. “I am so sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.”

He shakes his head, stubbornly blinking his tears away. “No, but like… this is all my fault. I think I’ve never fucked up so bad in my life.”

“Jungkook…”

“I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you.”

It sounds like a promise, with forever laced to it. And maybe that’s what you are to him, a forever he can’t bring himself to let go.

It’s what he is to you too. Because, for all that Jisung and your father said, you didn’t want to move on from Jungkook. Some part of you always believed you’d find your way back to him, and today, you know you weren’t wrong.

And you’d go through the pain all over again, for eternity, just to experience this moment with him right now. This new cataclysm, the one that creates instead of destroying. It creates a world between you, and you find yourself excited to explore it. Yes, the scars will stay, but scars make us who we are.

Scars mar Jungkook’s skin, mar your heart and his too. Scars are the reason why your heart started opening up in the first place, and scars are what makes you want to hold on to him today. They brought you to him, brought him to you, and the pain that they carry, like everything in life, doesn’t last.

No winter lasts forever, no night can stop the sun from shining when the morrow comes.

But you’re right. It’ll take a while before you’re able to fully forgive Jungkook. The look in his eyes tells you that he’ll be with you every step of the way. It tells you that he’d die for you, and maybe he already did. Maybe you both died for each other, and that’s what the scars truly tell. A story of a complicated love that destroys and creates.

The story of the cataclysm of you and him. The story of the forgotten spaces where you always met. Because Jungkook meets you, even in the darkest corners of your heart. He doesn’t balk from it, doesn’t fear the worst of you. And you’d meet him in the desert, in the dance your hearts share, the one his body can’t experience anymore, but his soul and yours know by heart.

Maybe he’s been your forgotten space all along, and you his.

Prev | Next

☆☆☆☆☆

The idiots are finally not idioting too much anymore :') what did we think? Did we like this chapter? Let me know!

All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2023. Do not copy, repost or translate.

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@whoa-jo | @pamzn | @sugaluvmyg | @kelsyx33 | @mafameal | @allisonstonex | @daisies-and-dandelionpuffs | @nadzzzblog | @bloopkook | @synnfulqt | @ggukiepie | @quarter-life-crisis2 | @amylouisecullen | @melodiesforari | @chimchimmarie | @jk-190811 | @notbotheredtho | @jjkluver7 | @chiefdreamercherryblossom

[marshmcore]

Pondering Sniper with his Emotional Support Scout (AU)

Modern+College AU speeding bullet

Both in their early transitional age (Scout is 19, Sniper is 22), they’ve already spent a handful of years, supposedly taking the steps to build their futures, but are they where they want to be? Are they going to where they want to be? Where is it anyways?

I just had the idea for a more grounded side to their story, slice-of-life in a coming-of-age setting, with themes of existentialism. I aged them down to make it work… Under cut for info dumps about these goobers 8)

Scout took a break right after high school, working for his family business (an unsuccessful one, ran by one of his oldest brothers). This used to be a summer job, a way to get extra money as a kid, but now he’s been a full time worker for 2.5 years, familial obligations exploiting him to stay, while being undermined by his narcissistic brother. He eventually gets out of it, but has to face the hurt from being used, and also the fact that he had to grow up so quickly as a kid (especially when he has to deal with the fallout caused by his Mom’s and Spy’s affairs. He and his Mom are in good terms, it’s just his Mom isn’t a good support system atm). Left to face the real world by himself, he tries to find a way to stabilize by himself, while trying to face his trauma (trauma from a missing father figure, and being treated as the black sheep of his family) as he finds a way to be more himself and be happy. He’s optimistic and responsible when the world calls for it, otherwise he’s most likely to test this new freedom (for better or worse). Eventually Spy comes around to try to reconnect with Scout, there’s no telling how Scout will cope with it when he’s in the midst his new-found freedom.

Sniper went straight to university, never once took a break from the school work, because he thinks that’s the only way to go about in life. He took up a program and career plan that was not right for him, but struggled his way through by retaking course’s countless of times, pulling off impossible all-nighters, etc. At some point he gave up, began to drop classes every semester, and finally quit the program. However, he started working somewhere in the industry he had been studying years for. He thought this could bring him forward, but it kept digging him a deeper grave. He’s a workaholic, impulsive, but lost. At a very young age, he was a subject of a tough custody battle between his neglectful biological parents (Lar-nah and Bill-bel), and his grandparents (who are Mr and Mrs Mundee in this AU). From that, his guardians want him to be better than his parents, and in return he strived for that. However, after giving up, he feels like a failure and is currently going through a period of depression. However, with the money he earned from his job, he wonders if he should take that road-trip he used to fantasize. He told himself doing this will help him find himself, but a part of him wonders if its just him trying to run away from something. Either way, he’s got a deal for a junk RV and he wants to renovate it!

After all that, Scout and Sniper meet, their lives are in the cross roads, and their relationship is a turning point as well. It feels like the world is moving faster than they can cope with, but can they find some respite in this new relationship together? DUN DUN DUUUN

Phew this was really fun to write! I really like their dynamic, romantic or not (idc). Them being the same age range inspired me to write this, because I know myself and some friends have gone through this similar experience aswell, and I just think its fun/interesting to explore that with they have in cannon.

A lot of this projection tho lmao with a loose base derived from cannon, and some embellishments to make this AU work.

[sofasoap]

Heartbreak

Pairing : Din Djarin x f!reader. slight description of injuries on Reader otherwise no other physical descriptions.

Summary: The only time Din says no to you. Din sucks at communication.  Part 1 of the Series.

Slightly AU-ish, he didn't get N1 after Razor Crest got blown up. he got something similar.

Warning: Mature theme. strong languages. angsty. 

A/N : I seem to be writing all the Din fic for the University students at moment to push them on ( Trust me, I know your pain. been there done that)   @groguspicklejar  and @deakyjoe, this is for both of you. GET YOUR ASSIGNMENTS GOING!!

MASTERLIST For sequel to this series

Din couldn't say no to you.

First time he met you, you were a mechanic work in a dingy workshop on the planet of Coruscant.

Din can sense you don't belong there at all.  You were too... pure? Radiating this aura that has him guessing you were originally from a good family,  slight Naboo accent seeping through as you speak, no matter how much you try to hide it. Judging from the huge scar you have running from the base of your jaw towards the bridge of your nose, you must have a story behind how you end up here. But it's not for him to probe. Everyone has their own secret.

"Alright, Mandalorian,All those carbon scorings we have tried and removed, that is no problem. But, " You wipe your sweat away from your face as you reading the report from the holopad of all the damages to him. " Your Hyperdrive is on its way out. It's a miracle it actually lasted this long." Lowering your voice, " I have replaced few parts here and there as well, it's on the house. Just don't tell my boss." You winked.

Din insisted on paying for the extra components. But again, you wouldn't budge, saying you manage to reuse the parts you salvage from other older imperial ships that has been sitting in the corner of the workshop , for makers knows how long. " It's taking up space anyway. you are actually doing as a favour getting rid of it."

He couldn't say no.

Thanking you, he went on his way.

Two cycles later, he is back again.  To the same shop.

This time he can sense something is different.

The owner came out and greet him. Different person, Din noticed.  Part of him wonder if you were still there.

The owner yelled towards the corner, your head popped out from the speeder you were working on. Spotting Din with the owner, your eyes went wide slightly as you hurryingly came and answer his call.

"Hello Mandalorian, I see your back again. Your hyperdrive is still functioning?" Din was surprised you still remember him. But then, how many Mandalorians are left out there around the galaxy?

He watches you as you walk around with the holopad, running diagnostics. Tapping away, you were mumbling something to yourself, making a few notes as you go along. You look sadder, more tired. You are not as happy.

Same as last time, You explain to Din the hyperdrive is still the main problem, also the most important thing, Carbonite freezer is leaking. This is going to cost him quite a bit , he sighed, but both important components for his ship he just have to throw the money in and get it done.

"I am sorry I wouldn't be able to give you any freebies this time... my.. new boss.. isn't as nice." You lowered your voice.

That confirms his suspicion.

Few days later, after the repair has been done, you begged Din to take you with him as your owner was not looking.

" I am not a taxi service." 

" Please, I will work for free, I can maintain your ship.. I have enough credits I can take care of myself.. I wouldn't be a bother. I just need to get away from here."

The way you were looking at him, how can he say no?

He later thanked himself for it.

Din was suppose to drop you off at some mid-rim planet as per agreement, but time goes on, he feel comfortable with your presence. Not only you were an excellent mechanic, saves him a lot of time and credit to find a planet with a decent workshop, you worked your miracle to keep the ship flying with no problem.  You can even cook, keeping the ship nice and clean, Din even trust you with his weapon maintenance as time goes on.

Along came the little green munchkin.

You ease into the role of caretaker smoothly.  

Hell, what else can you not do? You take care of the child like your own.  Taking care of his needs, feeding him, cleaning him, teaching him lessons, history of galaxy, sciences, mathematics. Din not quite sure how much the baby really understand or taking in, but he love watching your interaction with the child.   Reminds him memories of his own childhood, whatever little bit of memory he has left with his birth parents before the attack.  

He especially loves it when you recite stories and sing songs to the child.

Your angelic voice.

"Sorry Mando, Do you mind if we can buy more books or holopads of stories and lessons so I can teach the child? I still got enough credit I wouldn't waste any of yours.." You timidly ask him one day.

He ended up paying for the the stuff you asked for. How can he say no to you?

The longer you spend with him, you feel there was something simmering between you two, but never acknowledged. Both of you were too scared to say something, to break the equilibrium, breaking that little temporary happiness the three of you formed, a family. Clan of three. Clan mudhorn.

He gave you a vibroblade once,

“ For protection. Blaster isn’t always going to be effective.” He commented. 

You turn the blade over, you notice the corner of the handle, there’s a mudhorn signet engraved on it. 

You want to ask him about it, but he already walked off after you look back up at him.

You were hurt. Din was hurt.  There seem to be a gap between you two after Grogu has left for the Jedi training.  Both of you were trying your hardest to recover from the emptiness. You kept yourself busy doing work around the ship as per usual, but Din, already a man without too many words, seems to shut himself out from you even more than before.

He doesn't want you anymore. Just like your family.  You are no more use to him. Mind is a dangerous thing.   

This is for the best.

" Mando... We need to talk."

 "......" " I been thinking..." 

"......"

"it's time for me to leave." " NO."

"what is the point of me staying when Grogu isn't here anymore?" 

" NO."

" Why not??? You been ignoring me since Grogu left... As if I don't exist! Just let me go Mando... please.. " you sobbed.

You left that night. Despite him saying No.

Din thought Grogu's departure broke his heart, your departure absolutely tore his heart out.  

But who can he blame apart from himself for pushing you away?  His clan of three has fallen apart. 

“Hey Mando! I see you are back with your little green thing!! Come to Aunt Peli!!”  Grogu happily ran towards Peli, jumping into her hug. 

Din’s heart healed a bit after Grogu returned from his Jedi training. But there’s still an empty part in his heart that can only be filled by you. 

“So what is the problem this time round Mando? Hyperdrive again? You are in luck! I have someone new started working for me lately, she is absolute master fixing old imperial space junk like your ship!”  Din rolled his eyes. 

A voice piped up behind an old engine. 

“ I wouldn’t say I am total expert Peli, it just happen I have a lot of.........”  

Din snapped his head towards owner of the voice. 

It was you. 

You froze on the spot once you spotted Din. 

Grogu let out a happy squeal and jumped out from Peli’s lap and ran towards you with his little short leg.  You crouched down and scoop up the little child that you admit you miss so much. He let out happy coo and noises, as if trying to express his happiness to see you and trying to tell you all the things been happening since you last saw him.

“ I know little pea... I miss you a lot too. Have you had a good time with Master Luke?”

“ ... Why are you here.”

You turn your attention back towards Din.  Frowning at his accusation tone, you stood up and face him. 

“ I work here. That is why.” 

Peli walked over and carefully extract Grogu from your embrace. 

“ Come on you little thing.. Aunty Peli got some sweets for you... let the adults talk.”  Shooting you two a glance, she walked off with Grogu into the office while all the droids followed her. 

Din clenching his fist. Part of him was glad he has finally found you, by pure accident, and the stubborn part of him was furious you left without a proper goodbye, or even, left even without his permission.

“Why did you leave.”

“ I thought i stated it very clearly that night, Mando.” 

You know his real name. but you never use it.  He hates that. It put that extra distance between you two. 

“ I didn’t give you permission to leave.”

You point a finger at his chest and spit out with anger “ OH, So I need permission from YOU to leave? What are you? My master and I am your slave?”  Din flinched, him and his damn mouth.  

“I will fix your ship up. After that. Leave me alone.”  You turned around, walking towards his ship, trying to end the conversation. 

” ... have you still got the blade.” You heard him asking as you walk off. 

”..... yes.” 

You were going to leave it on the ship the night you left, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. 

Take it as a souvenir. Something to remember him by.  You said to yourself.  You try to convince yourself. 

But you know the only thing you left behind that night was pieces of your broken heart. 

I was going to leave it as sad ending but I think someone will kill me if I did... * looking at  @deakyjoe * I might do a part 2 to this tomorrow. 

Thank you for reading! Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated :D 

[agustdakasuga]

The Way Of A Criminal: Chapter 6

Genre: Mafia!AU, Criminal!AU, Angst, Romance

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Characters: Normal!Reader, Gangster!Namjoon, Gangster!Seokjin, Gangster!Yoongi, Gangster!Hoseok, Gangster!Jimin, Gangster!Taehyung, Gangster!Jungkook

Summary: Your father was a stranger, you never knew who he was and what he did. But one day, someone knocks on your door, informing you of his passing. Now, you learn more about him, his life and the legacy you are expected to continue with the help of his 7 executives.

Story warning(s): This story will contain depictions of violence, blood shed/gore, death, mentions of abuse, smoking, alcohol drinking and gambling. This story is fictional and has nothing to do with real life events or the actual members of BTS. Please read at your own discretion.

Jimin’s words stayed in your mind. You were being selfish. Your feelings aside, you knew the boys were trying their best to honour your father’s words and wishes. All the while you’ve only been protesting but now, they’ve helped you when you needed help.

“I need to return the favour, don’t I?” You sighed, asking yourself. You shook your head and turned back to your assignment in front of you. This was what you needed to focus on now.

“Hey.” Wonwoo whispered, two coffees in his hands. He placed his bag down and took the seat next to you.

“How was class? And thank you.” You received the coffee.

“Boring. How’s your essay coming along?” He asked. You shrugged, not really having paid any attention to the assignment. You knew you wouldn’t be able to do any work at home so that’s why you’re at the library.

Wonwoo decided to accompany you to study, which may be a good thing. He’ll keep you in check and ensure you get work done.

“You don’t have to stay with me. You can go home, I’m sure you have better things to do.” You said, facing the screen as you typed your essay based off your notes.

“You’re not getting rid of me so easily. Besides, whatever assignment you’re working on, I probably have to do it too. We are in the same classes.” Wonwoo stated, taking his laptop and notebook out. You hummed, nodding in agreement. To help you pick a major, you’ve been taking extra classes in various subjects.

“Are your extra classes going well?” Wonwoo asked.

“I would like to think so. I’m taking the basic classes in the choices I have narrowed down... It’s between the life sciences field and the linguistic arts realm at the moment.” You informed.

“That’s something?” Wonwoo said, trying to sound positive. You raised an eyebrow, letting out a scoff before continuing your essay.

You and Wonwoo continued to do your work with the occasional chatter until he decided to call it a day at 11pm. The study area of the library was open 24/7 so it wasn’t surprising to see students study until the sun rose.

“Do you want to get supper before heading back?” Wonwoo asked.

“Sorry, I’m feeling a little drained so I think its best I head back. We’ll go another day, I promise!” You rubbed the back of your neck.

“It’s okay. I can drop you-”

“(y/n).” You both turned to see a Bentley there. The back seat window rolled down and you saw Yoongi there. He leaned down enough for you to see him but his face was a void of emotion.

“You free?” He asked. The driver came out and opened the door for you despite not having made the decision. You chewed on your bottom lip before letting out a sigh. You gave Wonwoo a small wave before sliding into the back seat. The driver closed the door behind you.

“Are you always leaving the campus at midnight?” Yoongi asked. Half his arm is rest on the open window sill, burning cigarette between his fingers.

“Just trying to find a place with no distractions to get work done.” You shrugged. You drummed your fingers against your thighs as you waited for him to speak.

“Speak your mind. Say whatever you want.” He spoke.

“I don’t... really know what to say.” You confessed. You thought you would have time to plan what to say to them when the universe cursed you to cross paths with them again. This spontaneity was difficult for you.

“You don’t have to say anything then. We’re here.” Yoongi said. You looked up, not having realised you were home.

“It’s late but... D-Do you... want to c-come in?” You gulped as you offered. You really hoped you wouldn’t come to regret your words. Yoongi nodded and snapped his fingers. The driver opened the door for you then Yoongi. Yoongi trailed behind you, hands in his pockets as you fished your keys out and unlocked the door.

“Please, make yourself comfortable.” You gestured to the small seating area. He sat down on the couch while you went to get him a glass of water. You didn’t know what other drink to offer him.

“I owe all of you an apology. I’ve been selfish and-”

“I hope you understand, I didn’t come here for you to apologise to me.” Yoongi cut you off, placing the glass on the coffee table.

“I just... want you to know I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting.” You replied, sitting down opposite him. He nodded his head to let you know he at least acknowledged your words.

“Jimin’s an idiot. He speaks before he thinks.” Yoongi said.

“No... He’s right. Whatever he said that day.”

“Tch, stop being a pushover. I came here to tell you that you shouldn’t let his words affect you but I see I’m too late. Clearly.” He clicked his tongue, reaching over to drink more water. You sighed, head hanging down.

“So you’ve lived with your mother here your whole life?” Yoongi asked, changing the subject. He wasn’t good at comforting people, not that he ever cared, but it wasn’t his intention to make you feel worse either. The best thing to do is to change the subject.

“Yeah. It’s the only home I’ve ever known. Small but just right for us to be comfortable, I guess.” You shrugged, looking around.

“Must be nice to have a relationship with a parent.” Yoongi said.

If an ordinary person said the same words as him, it would usually be filled with bitterness and hold resentful connotations. But when Yoongi said that to you, there was nothing. He didn’t sound jealous, hurt, nothing.

“Would you like something to eat? For supper.” You offered. Now it was your turn to change the subject.

“I’ll order.” He took his phone out but you stopped him.

“No. You’re a guest in my house now.” You insisted. Yoongi paused but nodded, putting his phone back into his pocket. The both of you decided to get a box of rose tteokbokki and a mixed fried food platter to share. After you placed the order online, all that was left was the wait. You excused yourself to use the bathroom since you were still dressed in university clothes.

“Sorry about that.” You came back down after changing your clothes. There was no time to shower but at least you were now in some fresh smelling clothes and not the ones you were wearing the whole day.

“No worries. The food just came.” He said, taking the food out of the bags. You noticed that he had gotten more comfortable, putting his suit jacket aside.

“Here.” You went to get him a small plate.

It would usually feel weird that you’re sharing food, especially from a communal bowl, with someone you treated as a stranger. But it strangely felt okay, almost comfortable. Yoongi and you dug into the food.

“Actually, I have beers, which would go along with this. Want one?” You asked after you swallowed your food.

“That would be nice.” Yoongi said. You sotod up and went to the kitchen.

“Woah~!” You were suddenly on your tiptoes, not having noticed that Yoongi was behind you when you turned around. He caught you to prevent you from falling backwards. He let go of you, taking the beer can out of your hand with a small, grateful smile.

“Didn’t think you’d be someone to have readily available beer in your fridge.” Yoongi noted as he sat back down with you to eat. You cracked open your beer and took a sip.

“I’m still human. I also need to destress sometimes.” You looked away in embarrassment. The man just chuckled at your reaction.

“Is university tough?”

“Not... really?” You blinked, surprised by the sudden conversation.

“Come on. You can be honest. If you hate it, say you hate it.” Yoongi leaned back as he chewed on a piece of kimchi.

“Well, I’m just not sure if I am wasting my time. It’s not that I don’t like it or am necessarily struggling. I can’t even decide on a major, I don’t know what I want to do in life. If I don’t even know, why am I there?”

“You don’t HAVE to have your life planned out, you know? Just... do what you want, when you want. Let life sort itself out, some things are not within our control. Who knows, you might find something along the way.” Yoongi advised.

“Never thought about it that way...” You hummed.

“I hate to sound cliche but when doors close, more will open. You discover you hate something, you move closer to know what you want.” He said.

“What about you? You all seem to already be working, whatever you guys do or did for my father. How did you know that this was what you wanted to do?” You asked back.

“My brothers and I have been doing this for a long time. We never had proper childhoods or upbringings. Everything that we know, we taught to us by your father or learnt on our own accord, it was what we did to survive in the world. For me, school didn’t equip me with the actual knowledge I needed so I never wanted to go.” He explained.

“Are you tempted to drop out now?” Yoongi smirked.

“No... My mother sacrificed a lot for me to go to university. The least I can do is get a degree. She never pushed me to pick a specific major so that’s still up to me.” You said.

“You’re very filial.” Yoongi noted.

You hadn’t realised that you and Yoongi spoke and ate until 3am. He helped you gather the trash and you tied up the bags, momentarily excusing yourself to go bring the trash out to the curb while he wiped the table.

“Just let me do the dishes real quick.” You washed the small plates and beer glasses that you both used.

“Yoongi sshi-” You were wiping your hands as you came from the kitchen. Looking up, you saw that Yoongi had fallen asleep.

“Hmm...” Looking at the sleeping male, you were unsure of what to do. You didn’t want to wake him up even if sitting up and sleeping was gonna hurt his back in the morning. Going upstairs, you went to retrieve a blanket for him and carefully draped it over his body.

“Goodnight, Yoongi sshi.” You whispered before going upstairs.

“Finally, I can have a shower.” You sighed happily, taking a much needed shower. When you came out, you went downstairs to check on Yoongi before going back to your room.

Despite it being so late and feeling the exhaustion, you couldn’t sleep. You thought about Yoongi downstairs and what you talked about. You didn’t think that you would have an almost personal conversation with him.

But you were grateful that he didn’t mention anything regarding your father, the business, or what you planned to do next.

And for the first time in a long time, you were not alone in the house.

“Let life sort itself out.”

At about 7am, you yawned and rubbed your eyes. You had tried to do work to make yourself tired enough to sleep but it didn’t work. You put your laptop aside and went downstairs. But the couch was empty. The blanket folded neatly and placed aside.

“Yoongi sshi?” You called out. With no reply, you assumed that he left, until you saw a trail of smoke from the window by the front door.

“You’re up early.” Yoongi said as you stood behind him. He just sat on your front door step, smoking his cigarette. But when you came, he dropped it and crushed it beneath your foot.

“It would be rude of me to leave without a goodbye. After your hospitality.” Yoongi stood up, dusting his pants.

“I’m sorry, my couch probably wasn’t very comfortable to sit on.” You rubbed the back of your neck in embarrassment. Yoongi chuckled, shaking his head.

“Thank you, (y/n). I’ll see you soon.” Yoongi gave you a nod before walking away. His driver arrived, opening the door for Yoongi to enter. He rolled down the window and shot you a wave. You awkwardly waved back.

“Guess I’m not going to university today.” You yawned again before shuffling back into the house.

“Wow, Yoongi ah. You were out the whole night... Welcome home.” Jin stopped as he crossed paths with Yoongi while he was heading to the dining room, taking the time to tease the shorter male. Yoongi rolled his eyes, ignoring the eldest. He didn’t want to have breakfast, still feeling full from the supper, but he did want a coffee.

“Send it to my room. I’m going to shower.” Yoongi ordered. The butler bowed and went to the kitchen to get Yoongi’s order, assigning the maid to get Jin’s breakfast ready.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

“What...?” Taehyung groaned, rolling around in his blanket. Yoongi strolled in, fresh out of the shower. He threw something at Taehyung.

“Wait, wait, wait. Hyung, you went to see (y/n)?” Now Taehyung was awake as he recognised the jacket that he had lent you a while back when he sent you back from the club. If Yoongi had it, meant that he met you.

“Hyung! Don’t ignore me~ The only way you would have this jacket is if (y/n) gave it to you.” Taehyung chased after him.

“You were with her the whole night? What did she say?”

“I don’t have to tell you anything.” Yoongi scoffed, taking a sip of his iced coffee from his table. Taehyung jumped onto Yoongi’s bed, getting comfortable in the other male’s sheets.

“Get out.” Yoongi glared. Taehyung ignored him, snuggling deeper into the black satin sheets, messing everything up.

“Fine. I just went to make sure that Jimin didn’t get to her. As much as Jimin’s words were right, I know Namjoon is stressed about making things work out between her and us. And we can’t expect him to do everything while we just kick back.” Yoongi crossed his arms.

“And...?”

“And what? Of course she feels bad after what Jimin said. She’s a regular human being, she’s not us. But that doesn’t mean she’s just going to drop everything and resume the title of the head.” He said.

“I see. Jimin’s been keeping everything in for a while now, especially after boss’ death. He can’t help that it all exploded.” Taehyung shrugged.

“It’s not just him. We all didn’t mourn.”

“Hyung...”

“But sometimes, it’s not about us and what we feel.” Yoongi sighed. Taehyung didn’t reply. Instead, he got up and left Yoongi’s room to let the older take a rest. Finishing his coffee, Yoongi laid in his bed and finally went to sleep.

Jimin leaned against the wall, having overheard the conversation between Taehyung and Yoongi. When his 95′ brother came out from Yoongi’s room, he hadn’t even noticed Jimin just standing there against the wall, probably just half asleep. He let out a long sigh.

“Chim.” Namjoon called out. Jimin looked up at the leader.

“Go sleep. You haven’t slept in 3 days. We’ll talk when you wake up.” Namjoon ordered. Jimin just looked away.

“Here. Now, go.” Namjoon handed him something and patted his shoulder. The younger nodded glumly and went back to his room. He looked at the sleeping pills that were placed in his hands.

Ever since he snapped at you, he was benched from work by the others. He thought he could finally mourn, with his frustration off his chest, but that didn’t happen. He was barely even sleeping, moving around like a zombie.

“You finally caved.” Jin said as Namjoon walked into the dining room.

“He needs to sleep. Plus, what I gave him was very mild.” Namjoon replied, sitting down in his seat.

“Don’t shoulder it all on your own, Namjoon ah. Things will work out, don’t worry. We should all be focusing on our work to continue holding up the fort.” Jin said. Namjoon nodded in agreement.

“Morning. Just coffee. I’ve got to go.” Hoseok walked in, all dressed up. While waiting for the butler, he sat down with his two brothers.

“I’ve got a meeting with all our shipment partners today. My boys will be patrolling the docks and moving in the new shipments. Also, Namjoon, I’ll be doing inventory for the warehouse so tell your boys to not retrieve anything today.” Hoseok informed. Namjoon nodded his head and took his phone out to send the message to his lab team.

Their work and experiments needed a constant supply of chemicals, which were brought in and stored at some of Hoseok’s warehouses. Maybe Namjoon could give his team the day off.

“Taehyung said the governor wants to see me. So let’s keep things to a minimum for now, it’ll be annoying to have to handle any attempt at blackmail from him. I’ll let the rest know later.” Namjoon said.

“Yeah. I’ll let my boys know.” Hoseok bid the two goodbye and left.

“Well, I’m going back to work. I should be done with your files by noon.” Jin stood up and stretched his arms. He retreated out of the room.

“Good morning, Jungkookie.” Jin greeted as he passed the youngest on the way to his room. The boy yawned, giving a sleepy wave before going down to the dining room, in search of food.

“Namjoon hyung, I finished Jimin hyung’s list last night.” Jungkook said, yawning midway.

“Thanks for taking over, Kook. Take a break for the next few days. I was telling Hoseok to keep things to a minimum too. The governor wants to meet and I don’t need him having anything on us.” Namjoon informed.

“Yes, hyung. I’ll just work the shop.” Jungkook nodded. He had no issue taking over Jimin’s hit list, the extra work wasn’t that taxing on him. But now that Namjoon needed them to laylow, he could use the time to catch up on working on his cars and bikes.

When Namjoon finished his breakfast, he went up to his office. He knew that Yoongi went to see you last night and judging by how he stayed out the whole night, Namjoon guessed he was able to talk to you.

~~

Series Masterlist

Ko-Fi

Main masterlist

[trailblazethegalaxy]

Old Books ~ *Dan Heng*

Summary: You're looking for a new book to read, so you decide to see if Dan Heng has any. This leads to the two of you engaging in a debate about books and languages to learn...

Pairing: Dan Heng X G/N!Reader

Genre: Fluffy Drabble

Word Count: 582

Warning: Dan Heng is a bit OOC. This is an AU to the highest degree.

Masterlist

“All I’m saying is Don Quixote was not that great of a book.” You shrugged, perusing one of Dan Heng's many bookshelves.

“And I’m saying you’re absolutely wrong.” He shook his head. “Don Quixote is a charming novel I found on Terra. It was funny and thought provoking at the same time.”

"I never thought I'd live to see the day you call a novel funny, especially one from Terra." You shake your head with a teasing smile.

He shot you a glare. "Forgive me for not being textbooks and calculations all the time."

You held your hands up in mock surrender. "I never said that! But I’m sorry. I just found Don Quixote boring.”

Dan Heng scoffed. “Let me guess. You liked those Jane Austen and Brontë novels instead, didn’t you?”

You looked over at him, horrified. “Oh hell no! Wuthering Heights was worse than Don Quixote by a long shot! Heathcliff was the absolute worst!”

He smirked and shook his head. “You’re correct in that observation. I never understood how writers from that age thought those stories were romantic. Are there any classical novels from Terra you do like?”

You paused to think. “Good question. Well, I think the Count of Monte Cristo was really good, one of my favorites actually. A Tale of Two Cities is also pretty good. And I did enjoy reading Anna Karenina and War and Peace.”

One of his eyebrows perked up. “You read War and Peace?”

“More like I skimmed through it.” You mumbled, letting out an awkward giggle. 

Dan Heng shook his head again. “You should read it some time. I think you might enjoy it after you get past all the fluffy 19th century language.”

“I’ll be sure to look into it if I can find it. You never clean up around here. It makes it hard to find anything in this place.”

“Everything has a place and everything is in its place.” He reminded you, his voice sharp.

You rolled your eyes, before muttering under your breath. “Yeah well it seems the place for everything is all over the floor.”

“I heard that!”

All you could do was laugh and hope he didn’t kill you. However, after digging through the shelves some more, you were surprised when he handed you a large book with the words War and Peace printed on the front. You took it, surprised that it felt lightweight despite how big it was.

“Found it.”

“So you did.”

As Dan Heng went back to looking for a new book to read, which was easier said than done, he asked, “So, what’s the oldest book you’ve read?”

“Hmm, probably the Epic of Gilgamesh.”

He nodded. “Not a bad little epic. But I’ve read books older than that.”

You rolled your eyes again. “Of course you have. It's your thing. You love reading books from way back when and from all over the universe. You can probably read every language in the universe and understand it. Even dead languages!”

“Well, I could teach you some if you’d like.” He shrugged.

You perked up. “Please? There are so many cool languages I’d love to learn and use to both impress and scare people with.”

He laughed. “Alright. Pick a language and we’ll start learning when we both have time.”

Nodding, you added smoothly. “You better be prepared for all the love notes in multiple languages I’m going to send you when we're traveling through planets.”

He sighed. "I don't doubt it."

[bonefall]

Since you mentioned only cats and a few other distant animals are sentient, does this mean foxes are getting their sentience removed? Midnight can talk to foxes in the books and even convinces some foxes to leave a patrol of cats alone (the foxes are WEIRDLY violent and talk about eating the cats too lmaoo).

I assume Hollyleaf's changes mean the Fox Cub Incident is either being moved or just removed entirely, I always found that small plot point interesting in face of all those "Non-cat in clan" AUs. Seems like something that could be interesting if an "us vs them" argument was formed from it, especially if it was targeted against Midnight and calling her unholy yknow?

Yeah, that sapience is gone completely. In this universe, language is limited only to humans, cats, and some distant animals that are far outside the range of Albion (elephants, bottlenoses, some parrots, etc)

And Hollyleaf's story especially. Ngl to you, I don't like that fox idea. Or anything about Hollyleaf's Story. I think it was the worst possible route to take.

"Hollyleaf will be a mother to this evil creature to learn what it's like to love something that hates you. It is so sad to be your mom Leafpool (Squirrel-who?). Don't you feel like a shitty daughter now, Holly? Let's not ask any questions about the code btw, or how you were already filled with crushing shame from it. Or how it made you so disgusted about the idea of pregnant nuns that you flipped your shit and ruined the lives of your entire family. No, what really mattered about this situation was maternal empathy. Also here take the nearest male character we can find to ship you with, we accidentally made Cinderheart too gay when she was upset about your death lmao"

But, digressing, putting my distaste of that novella aside,

WC is profoundly xenophobic already with just the cats, and I think it was a CATASTROPHIC mistake to make it so every animal is secretly intelligent but speaks animal language. Now every conflict between cats and their predators is an ethnic dispute! You're chasing out groups of people perfectly capable of reasoning if you bridged the language barrier, but they're also ACTUAL PREDATORS.

AT BEST; It's the same uncomfortable situations that Zootopia and Lion King ends up tripping over. In Zootopia, predators are used as an allegory for oppressed groups... but predators are MADE to eat prey. A rabbit is RIGHT to be terrified of a fox, twice its size with a jaw made for catching bunnies. In Lion King, lions have divine authority to rule over their dinner/subjects, and chase out any animal based on their personal ideology... which just so happens to only be leveraged against rival predator species.

(Nerd preemption: yes i know about lion guard. I do not think diverse Lion Cops were the solution you think it is.)

Carelessly adding sapience to "natural systems" often ends up accidentally justifying bigotry. Bigotry doesn't MAKE SENSE, it's bullshit we made up and perpetuate through culture, but food webs are completely logical. The rabbit fears the fox because the fox eats rabbits. The lion hates the hyena because they compete for the same food. Gazelles don't happily submit to an overlord who is divinely capable of deciding who should live and who should die, it's just nature.

But it gets even worse-- because it's actually WORST CASE; the Erins saw that complicated moral problem and went, "don't worry! They're actually born evil! Foxes just talk about food and killing things :)"

like... my brother in cats, YOU gave them language in the first place! What was the fucking point if they were just going to be evil barbarians anyway?!? For ONE scene where Midnight could show off her Duolingo streak???

So to summarize,

It was an awful idea to start with

It was executed in the worst possible way

In a series that is already plagued with xenophobic sentiment, this somehow made it even worse and more direct

If it was completely nuked it from the story, the series would be immediately better with minimal change. Holly caring for what is essentially the clan cat-equivalent of an exotic animal like a chimp or a tiger cub would have done the same thing

There is not even a glimmer of an idea here that justifies the poison that full sapience does to the wider implications of the series.

Don't even get me started on the Badger Debaucle in TNP, which is actually in my top 5 for most vile things in WC

So if I don't explicitly say that a species in BB is capable of true language, assume it is non-sapient. Talking animals like Midnight and Rat Leader are magical individuals-- gods, curses, etc.

[skzhua]

MASTERLIST

pairing: trainer!hwang hyunjin x female!reader (feat. han jisung)

genre: divergent!au, love triangle, fluff, angst, dystopian, slow burn.

word count: 16,170

warnings: swearing, fighting, mention of death, drugs, drinking, suggestive. (proofread-ish)

summary: hyunjin is a confusing man. one day he confides to you with such passion, the next he ignores you. meanwhile, you have to figure out who you are and what you want.

a/n: the story is similar to divergent but very different at the same time. some things don't match with the original universe. tell me if you would be interested in a sequel!

"Wake up." you groaned as you shook your brother awake.

He let out a whine, slowly getting aware of his surroundings. With a yawn, he finally opened his eyes and gave you a disgusted look. You were dressed formally from head to toe. Even your hair that was usually in a messy bun was properly styled into a slicked back ponytail.

"What's happening?"

You rolled your eyes before throwing a pile of clothes at him. "Today's our aptitude test, remember?"

He frowned for a moment while inspecting the attire. "Right..." he sighed.

Walking downstairs, you met with your parents as they prepared breakfast. Kissing both their cheeks, you sat down and watched them cook.

You loved your parents for sure, there was no denying that. However, being in the Candor faction meant they were unapologetically truthful in their remarks. This was a great strength in political terms but as far as you were concerned, it made your childhood rough, especially since you became a teenager. Nonetheless, you loved them. Sometimes.

"Did you wake Felix up?"

You nodded your head. "He'll be coming down in a bit, that is if he doesn't fall back asleep."

"I'm up." the said-boy spat out at you as he came down the stairs.

Stealing a toast from your father's grasp like it was nothing, he sent you another one of his annoying grins. One that said "Aha, I'm the favourite." He was undeniably the favourite but it didn't mean he had to be this pretentious about it. His spot was earned when your older brother left the family to join the Erudite faction. It was a rough day for you and your family but Minho was even worse than Felix in terms of showing off being the golden child.

"I can make some more, Felix." your mother smiled warmly at your brother.

You huffed. "You didn't even bother offering me one."

"Y/N, don't be like this."

"I'm only saying that it wouldn't hurt showing a bit of love to your other child."

She sighed before sliding a bowl of cereals your way. She sure tried to make an effort at times but she couldn't lie to you. She loved Felix more. You looked at the meal with an unfazed look and pushed it back to it. Why were you still trying at this point?

"I know it can be a stressful day but I have no doubt this will be a new beginning. I sure do hope you will get Candor but as long as Abnegation is not an option, I'll respect your choice."

Your father's words being obviously directed to your twin brother, you let out yet another groan and went to the front door, ready to leave. As your family continued on with their chat, you leaned against the doorframe to wait. A few "good luck"s and "do good"s types of comments later, Felix finally joined you to head out.

Just as you were about to step out, your mother stopped you by calling out your name. "Good luck to you too." she smiled.

Although you knew she could only tell the truth, you still doubted her. With a quick nod of the head, you walked out.

It was a woman who was in charge of your test. While the room was threatening with its white walls, the intimidating tools and the chair that stood in the middle, you were far from being stressed. If anything, you had been waiting for this moment your whole life. An opportunity to get away from your annoying brother and your parents who were constantly disappointed in you? Yeah, you knew you were definitely not a Candor.

"You can sit." the woman said, grabbing your attention and you did as told.

Totally unbothered to say another word to you, she began to prepare the material for the test. The screen next to her was pitch black for now and she seemed to be mixing some sort of serum. You were about to ask her what it was but she turned around in a swift manner and held the said-serum in front of you.

"Drink this."

Doubtful, you took the vial from her hand and drank it down. Coughing at the taste, you almost choked.

And as you got over it, your whereabouts had totally changed. The test had started.

You were taken aback when you saw your reflection from across the room. Looking around, there was nothing else but that. What were you supposed to do now? Unsure, you walked towards the reflection. Only, seconds later, another you turned into an infinite number of yourself. Mirrors everywhere. Just to be sage, you walked backwards until you hit something. Two pillars with bowls on top were what you had bumped into: one with a knife and another with cheese.

"Choose!" you heard from your left.

Jumping in surprise, you came face to face with yourself but not quite yourself. Although it wasn't exactly another person, it felt somehow reassuring to have a presence with you.

"Choose..." you repeated in a whisper. "Which one is the right one?"

The other you refused to speak.

"Can't you tell me?"

"Choose."

You frowned. This was sure not helping. And luckily for you, you would have to make the choice as the pillars were replaced by a dog. You usually adored animals but this one wasn't exactly what you'd describe as friendly. Quite the opposite, it was barking at you nonstop. Growling with his back arched up, he was coming dangerously close to you. You knew it was a matter of seconds before it'd attack you. Stepping backwards, you held your hands up in defense, waiting for it to charge. Before you could even prepare yourself mentally, it lunged at you at full speed. Heartbeat racing, you closed your eyes. As if time had stopped, your mind was filled with reasonings, one being the most logical.

This was a simulation. There was no dog.

Your eyes slowly opening, the dog was sitting at your feet, looking up at you with its puppy eyes. You mentally gave yourself a tap on the shoulder but the pride didn't last long. A young girl staring at you and the dog appeared nearby. This caused the animal to go wild again, growling and barking at the girl. As it started to chase after, you jumped at it before thinking and tackled it down.

You gasped for air and sat straight up on the chair. You weren't fully back to reality when the woman in charge of your test spoke in a hurried voice.

"Go home, now."

You stare at her in confusion, not moving the slightest bit which was definitely putting her to the edge. She took you by the arm to get you off the chair and led you to the door.

"Tell your family I sent you home early because you reacted poorly to the serum."

"Wait." you stopped her. "What happened? Why are you telling me this? What were my results?"

She froze in place before clearing her throat. "It was Candor." she paused. "But it was also Amity, Abnegation, Dauntless, Erudite-"

"Woah, what are you saying?" you cut her off, confusion growing in you.

"You can't tell anyone, not even your family. This type of results puts you in grave danger."

Your brain was running at a thousand miles per hour as you were trying to make sense in what she was saying.

"So what do I chose at the ceremony tomorrow?"

She grunted in frustration. "Anything but I put Erudite as your result."

"How is it possible that I don't have a clear result?"

She had visibly caught on your desperation and curiosity as her eyes got softer. "It's called Divergent. It's extremely rare but possible and you will get eliminated if someone ever finds out."

"So..?"

"Stay on the low and don't tell anybody."

Felix seemed to be floating on a cloud. Skipping as you were heading to the choosing ceremony, he was grinning like a child while singing happy tunes.

"Lix, can you shut it?" you asked in the nicest way possible.

He walked closer to you and leaned down in order for his mouth to be right next your ear. "No."

"Let your brother have his fun. After all, it is an important day for you two." your mother said in his defense.

"Sure is important. Proof is that you truly were worried when I came home sick from the test yesterday." you smiled at her in a sarcastic way.

"Y/N Lee." you father said in a warning tone.

"Sorry."

You weren't anywhere close to feeling sorry. Still, you followed them as you finally arrived at the ceremony. The room was filled with people your age who were accompanied by their parents. It was interesting and nearly awkward to see all of the factions together in one place as this was a rare occasion.

You soon found your seats and waited for everyone to settle. Once the place was full, a man you presumed to be the host stood in front of the bowls that were displayed for you to make your choice. He started to go on about the factions, the importance of today's choice, and so on. Frankly, you weren't listening and Felix wasn't either apparently.

Snudging your arm continuously, he whisper-yelled your name a couple of times before you decided to finally snap a "what?" at him.

"I'm nervous."

You perked up an eyebrow. "You? Nervous?"

He nodded. "You know, I'm going to miss you."

You laughed sarcastically but his face remained the same, his worry was still plastered all over his face.  With a sigh, you rubbed his hand. "I'll miss you too. You might get on my nerves but you were a good brother."

You exchanged smiles but it was soon interrupted by Felix's name being called. He took a deep breath before walking down to choosing point. You watched his back while he was making a small cut un his hand. You had no idea what he was choosing or what were his results to the test. You wanted to think he was going to pick Candor to stay with your parents but he was obviously not going to. Felix was simply not fitting in Candor.

"Erudite." the man announced after Felix's blood came in contact with the water.

You stared at him blankly, watching him head towards the Erudite group. You would have expected him to go with Abnegation, he has always been a kind soul despite being the snob brother he was to you. You started to wonder whether he made the choice himself or he picked Erudite to not be on your parent's wrong side. Anyway, this wasn't important to you anymore. It was your time to choose.

After hearing your name, you walked to the same spot where Felix was standing seconds ago. You hissed as you sliced part of your palm with the knife. And then, you froze. As it came down on you that you had no idea what you were supposed to belong to, every muscle in your body tensed up. You had to think fast, everyone was watching you. Looking at each bowl one by one, you gulped. What now?

After what seemed to be hours, your hand lifted above a bowl and you hear a sizzle as your blood dropped.

"Dauntless."

The faction in question cheered while you went to sit with them with a shy face. Why did you even choose Dauntless? You weren't built to be physically fighting. You weren't as cunning as they were. Sure, you had an attitude but that was it.

The rest of the ceremony went by rather quickly as you had totally zoned out after your turn. You could stay like this for long, however. The moment your new faction left the place, you were told to run and follow.

Your cardio was never in its best state, this was only a confirmation of it. You were among the people running behind. Still, you didn't let this discourage you and you persisted on joining the others.

Coming face to face with a metal pole that led to the train rails, you watched everyone climb up. Taking a second to check your proper and formal attire, you doubted a little. Nonetheless, you followed their moves and climbed up, not daring to look down.

Next thing you had to do was jump in the train coming whilst it was functioning. The speed was almost too fast for you to keep up but you managed. Grunting and panting, you put your body against the wall and slid down in exhaustion. That's when you noticed a boy in front of you was staring. You almost called him out for it but were interrupted when you heard people getting agitated. Glancing outside, they were jumping from the wagons to the rooftop of a building. You cursed at yourself, already having enough of it for your first day. Again, you shut yourself up and followed. You would lie if you said you weren't proud of yourself.

"Hmph." you heard grunting behind you.

The same boy from earlier. He was the same age as you for sure but he looked much younger, as if he wasn't supposed to be there. Most importantly, he looked vulnerable. It made you question yourself why he even chose Dauntless.

You walked to him, offering your hand which he took with no hesitation. With a grateful smile, he stood up before you walked side by side to join the others.

"Han Jisung." the boy spoke up.

You extended your hand again for him to shake. "Lee Y/N."

"Nice to meet you." he smiled, a bit too enthusiastically in your opinion.

"Likewise."

"Alright, initiates!" a man, presumably one of the trainers, called out. As everyone gathered around him, he led you to the edge of the building. "My name is Changbin, I will be going through your initiation with you. You chose Dauntless, I hope you have an idea what you got yourself into."

You hated the look in his eyes, menacing and yet, obscure. You couldn't tell a single thing past his façade.

"So, who's willing to come down first?" he asked, scanning the group. "Nobody?"

You and Jisung exchanged looks, his much more nervous than yours. You took a deep breath and made your way through the crowd to come forward.

"What are you doing?" you heard Jisung whisper-yell at you.

"First jumper, uh?" Changbin snickered.

You ignored him and stepped onto the wall, not forgetting to look down. There was a hole, wide enough for a whole building to fit. It was so deep, you couldn't see the end of it. Taking a deep breath, you shut your mind off from any distressing thoughts and jumped. You could feel you heart pound so loudly and yet, it felt liberating. You were in the air, falling slowly and feeling nothing around you.

As you reached the end merely seconds later, your body was met with a net. Waking up from your daze, you began to make your way to edge so you could get off. Still, you were struggling.

"Here, take my hand." a soft voice spoke.

Your eyes moved to where it came from and you spotted what you could describe as the most beautiful man you've ever seen. Mysterious but soft, his features were completing one another perfectly. He was breathtaking.

"What's your name?" he asked once he helped you get off.

"Y/N."

"Hm." he hummed, taking a moment to look at you closely. "First jumper: Y/N." he announced loudly.

It made you realize a whole other crowd was there, watching the new initiates arriving. You joined them and waited patiently for the next person to come. You were relieved to see Jisung coming safe and sound, although slightly shaken up. He rushed to your sides as soon as his feet touched the ground.

"This was not fun." he breathed out, making you chuckle.

"It's only the beginning."

"Believe me, I know that." he rolled his eyes.

"Why did you choose Dauntless, anyway?"

He gulped. "It was my test results, but I think I should have stayed with my parents in Amity. What about you?"

"I don't know, it looked fun to me."

His eyes widened. "How can you describe this as fun? It's a death wish."

"What was that?" the pretty man said, interrupting your friend.

Jisung froze in place as the man made his way to him in a slow and imposing way. The guy was tall to begin with but you felt smaller than a mouse in his presence. If you thought Changbin was intimidating, this was nothing compared to that.

"That's what I thought." he sighed before stepping away from the two of you. "Welcome initiates. My name is Hyunjin and I will be in charge of your training with Changbin here with me to keep a look on you all. A few times during your initiation, Chan will come take a look to see how things are going for you. For those who don't know him, he is the faction's leader. Now, I'm not someone who teaches softly. It will be harsh, demanding, but you knew that once you chose us.

"The initiation process is long and tiring but I believe you'll be doing just fine. The first step is physical training. You will learn to fight and defend yourselves in ways you can't even imagine as of right now.

"The second step is psychological endurance. I will go more in depth once we get there but it will be the hardest part of the process. Only the toughest ones among you will make it through.

"Finally, your abilities will be shown to the faction leaders which will then determine your role among the faction. For exemple, I was made a trainer and Changbin is one of the co-leaders."

"Because you rejected to offer to be one, they asked me." Changbin commented but Hyunjin brushed it off.

"For tonight, a party will be held for your arrival. Tomorrow morning, your training will begin. Follow me, I'll show you where you'll stay."

The whole group did as told and you walked through a couple of hallways, all darker than the ones before. Water was dripping and the lighting was dimmed so much, you could barely see.

In the end, you arrived in a one-room place where the toilets were exposed for everyone to see. Beds were arranged messily and you could tell the conditions were not going to be the best for the next year.

Hyunjin, after answering a few questions, left you all to get changed before coming to the cafeteria. He instructed for you to go burn your old factions' clothing as you were no longer going to need them. It kind of broke your heart to official put terms with your past life, but you had to do it.

As you dropped your old attire in the burner, you thought of Felix for a second. How was he doing in Erudite? Did Minho find him and help him? Was he adapting well?

And your parents? How were they handling being separated from their favourite child?

"Are you going to pick at your fries all evening?"

Jisung speaking brought you out of your thoughts. You didn't even remember getting your food and sitting with him. Right in front of you were two other guys who Jisung had seemed to befriend.

"Sorry." you replied. "I was just thinking."

He sighed. "Same. I'm thinking about my parents. I hope they know I'll be alright."

"Will you, though?" one of the two boys asked jokingly.

"Jeongin, come on." the other said. "We'll be done with this initiation thing before we know it. Plus, Jisung is braver than you; he jumped right after missy here."

"Thanks, Seungmin." Jisung smiled.

"Where were you before?" you asked, curious about where these new friends came from.

"Abnegation." Seungmin smiled proudly. "And Jeongin was in Erudite."

"Amity." Jisung informed, though you already knew that. "Can I just say, you look nothing like a Candor."

You furrowed your eyebrows. "What do you mean by that?"

Jeongin scoffed. "You're kidding? You're supposed to be truthful and say what comes in your mind but you're awfully quiet."

You jumped when a tray a food was dropped on the table. Hyunjin, in all his glory, sat next to you as he sent a glare to Jeongin before speaking.

"Knowing when to shut your mouth is actually a good trait for Dauntless, which is your faction now. So no talk about the other factions, got it?"

You all nodded nervously, afraid he'd take out any of you in a second. Nonetheless, you could see there was something mysterious about him. Whether it was the presence or lack of darkness, what was in his eyes: you were pulled by it.

"Are you a Dauntless born?" you bluntly asked.

Your new friends' eyes widened at your boldness. Either you were about to get beaten or killed, both bad scenarios.

Hyunjin finished his bite slowly, jaw clenching, before he turned to look at you in the eye. "What tells you you can speak to me?"

You blinked once, unsure on what to answer. "Well, I just thought-"

"You thought wrong. I'm only here for the training, not to make friends."

And just like that, he stood up and took his tray before walking away, far enough for you to lose sight of him. You huffed at yourself. Odd, you thought.

"Did he come here only to leave two seconds later?" Seungmin said in confusion.

Jisung shrugged. "Let's not question it."

Dinner continued normally after that. As instructed, none of you mentioned their faction again. Instead, you went on with learning more about each other. Jeongin is the middle child, making him the forgotten one by his parents. He is a lively guy but can be rude at times. He never means any harm, though. Seungmin is the younger sibling of an older sister. He likes making jokes and fun of people, in an affectionate way of course. And Jisung, you were starting to know him pretty well. He is a shy boy at first but can be noisy when comfortable.

"I have to thank you, Y/N. I don't think I would have been able to go through all what happened if it wasn't for you." Jisung smiled gratefully.

"Thanks for sticking around too." you smiled back.

The moment was interrupted when a loud whistle was heard. On a table stood Hyunjin, Changbin, and another unknown man. Once they caught everyone's attention, they asked you all to shut it.

"Initiates." Changbin started, loud enough for the whole group to hear. "I hope you had a blast tonight. Unfortunately, it has to come to an end. Before we send you back to the dormitory, the faction leader has a few things he'd like to tell you."

He gestured to the man next to him to speak in his turn. He wasn't that much taller than Changbin. What stood out from him to you really was his blonde hair. His aura was intimidating but nothing remotely closed to Hyunjin's. For him, you could see he had a soft side.

"Hello, everyone. My name is Christopher, or Chan. Whatever you prefer. I am Dauntless' leader for a 5th year now. Welcome to the faction. I won't lie, the process of initiation will be hard and rough. Now, I am strict with newcomers, but I'm also someone who won't take disrespect lightly. Although you are trained to fight, I strongly believe we should all be respectful among us. I'll be watching you throughout the process, which starts tomorrow. Good luck, and welcome again."

Hyunjin was quick to dismiss you all to your room – though you wouldn't go as far as to call it that – and instructed you all to get up in time the morning after. As he finished speaking, he gave you a glare that lasted too long to your liking before leaving as well. Was it a glare or a simple stare? You weren't exactly sure in all honesty.

You did wake up in time, all thanks to Jeongin. The poor boy had frantically ran around while almost screaming as he couldn't find his pants. In the end, he had simply left them with Seungmin's belongings the previous night.

Still a bit sleepy, you looked around to check where you had left your own things. Strangely enough, they were nowhere to be found. Only then, Jisung appeared with a pile of your clothes and laid them on your bed before sitting on the thin mattress.

"I assumed you'd want to stay in bed a bit longer so I prepared your things in advance." he shyly admitted.

"I appreciate it, thanks." you nodded your head.

You rapidly ran to a corner, making sure no one could see you naked, and joined your new friends so you could head to the training room together. On the way there, you couldn't help but look at your surroundings once more. It was still surreal that you were in a new faction, one so different. You started to wonder if you had made the right choice. Maybe you should have gone in Erudite with your brothers. Then, again, you didn't have the best relationship with them anyway.

There was no room to have such thoughts, you were in Dauntless and that was it. Even more so now that you were standing in front of a seemingly exhausted Hyunjin next to an equally tired Changbin. Maybe they continued the party after you left.

"First day and you're all here. Good." Hyunjin nodded to himself after counting everybody. "Alright, so today is going to be hard for you. It's the beginning and you aren't used to it yet so don't expect yourself to be absolutely great. I don't expect any better than that anyway."

You noted how low he was speaking of the group. Sure, you were all beginners but it was no reason to slander you like this.

"Each week, you will be ranked from strongest to weakest. This is in no way my decision, it is a new reform by the factions leaders. The strongest one are going to be assigned higher positions and the weakest ones are unfortunately not going to make it to the faction."

"Wait, what?" you spoke up, making Jisung grab your wrist as a warning.

Hyunjin's eyebrow perked up as he walked to where you stood. "Y/N."

"Won't make it as in..?" you trailed of for him to finish.

"As in they won't be kept in the faction, they'll become factionless."

You scoffed. "This is ridiculous."

His eyes darkened. "Again, this is not my choice. If it was me, I wouldn't do such a thing, I'm not as cruel as you believe me to be."

"I never said you-"

"Dagger throwing. We're starting with that today." he cut you off.

Jisung's grasp on you loosened, but it didn't mean he was going to let you be just like this. He moved his head to your ear and whispered.

"You really have a death wish, don't you?"

You snickered. "Maybe."

He rolled his eyes at you, unimpressed at how you weren't taking this seriously. Jisung wanted you to stay, he knew and saw the potential in you. Plus, it did help that you were so nice to him.

"The goal is to throw it exactly where you want it to land." Hyunjin informed after you all positioned yourself in front of a target in the shape of a person. "I'll tell you a body part and you have to throw it at the exact spot. Let's start easy with the heart."

He did it once as an example before letting you try for yourselves. Easy... For him, yes, but you weren't sure if you could throw it far enough. Despite your extreme lack of assurance, you mimicked the motion he did and try your best to throw the dagger with enough strength. Visibly, this was not your strongest point. You did reach the target, but it landed on where the hip would be. Discouraged a bit, you still tried again. Lower stomach this time; improvement.

"Holy shit, look!" Jisung nudged you as he pointed to his own target.

As you saw that his dagger had landed on the chest, you high-fived him, not forgetting to slip in a small "good job". If Jisung was capable, that means it wasn't impossible. So you attempted it again. Stomach again; consistent at least.

"Y/N." you heard from behind you, a little too close to your liking.

"Yeah?" you said, turning around to come face to face with Hyunjin.

Damn, you had forgotten how pretty he is. Up close, you could see even the pores of his skin, a skin so smooth it made you mad. How was he able to keep it so clean in an environment like this? And his eyes, so obscure you could drown in them and yet, their slender shape brought a balance between beauty and fright.

"Your throw is good but you need to put more power into it." he commented before taking your forearm and bringing it further back to where you'd usually start. "Try again. Same method, but you gain momentum."

You let out a breath you didn't acknowledge you were holding back and looked back at your target. As he told you, you did the same move and you hit it. Right where he was asking you to hit, the heart. Just where Jisung had threw his own dagger as well. You squealed in pride, earning a smug huff from Hyunjin. As if he was saying "I told you so".

"I can see why he's the one teaching us." Seungmin said, impressed. "Good job, Y/N."

Next up was physical fighting. To start with, you were going to use punching bags as you would eventually move up to fighting each other. For this part, Changbin was the one to show you a few techniques. Meanwhile, Hyunjin sat in a corner as he observed the scene. To give you an idea on the aura he was projecting, he looked like a mafia boss watching his henchmen do his work.

"We'll start with that for today and add a couple of moves tomorrow. Go." Changbin finished instructing.

Jeongin was the first one to hit his own punching bag, meanwhile you decided to look around instead. By watching the others, you might be able to understand quicker how to position your body. Physical strength wasn't something you had to start with and it wouldn't hurt to not dare too much on your first attempt.

"Are you okay?" Jisung asked you, taking a small break.

You observed the sweat dripping on his face before nodding. "Are you okay?"

"This is hard but, I mean, it's our first time. I'll get the hang of it eventually, hopefully."

The worry in his eyes didn't go unnoticed by you but you presumed he wouldn't want to talk about it. You were quick to start attacking your own bag, going soft at first as you focused mostly on your moves.

The first month passed by so fast, you were barely getting used to your new lifestyle. Jisung was the one to wake you up every morning since your habit of sleeping in didn't leave you yet. He was also the one you got along with the most, unsurprisingly. You had your little routine every day : waking up, leaving for training, helping each other, joking around and complaining during your lunch break, training again, eating dinner with Seungmin and Jeongin, and finishing the day by hanging out at the rooftop of the main building.

"Let's do something else." you prompted as soon as you sat down in front of Jisung.

Cheeks already full of his meal, he almost choked at your sudden appearance. "What?" he asked once he finished his bite.

"Tonight, I want to explore more of this place."

Jeongin scoffed. "It's already a maze and you want to get lost even more? Count me out."

You rolled your eyes. "I wasn't suggesting it to you, anyway."

"Right, you're asking the scaredy cat instead." Seungmin sneered, earning a nudge from Jisung.

The latter cleared his throat before responding to you. "Maybe not tonight?"

"Please, Jisung! I like the rooftop but we see so many things from up there that we haven't even had the chance to discover yet."

"Because we will eventually during our training when accompanied by our trainers. That us much safer."

You pouted. "That's more boring, though. We'll have to follow their lead and we won't be free to see for ourselves."

Seungmin shook his head. "As if you follow their rules, anyway. Have you seen Hyunjin's death stare this morning? I thought he was about to boot you off to the factionless."

You deadpanned at him. "Thank me, you would've gotten shot with an arrow if it wasn't for me."

Looking at your wound on your shoulder, Jisung frowned. "That is another reason why you shouldn't explore tonight, this hasn't had the time to heal."

You shrugged. "I feel fine, and I saved Seungmin. Today is a good day."

"Good?" Jeongin scoffed out.

"Fine, you guys. Be lame but I'm going out tonight."

Stubborn should have been your middle name, there wasn't a better word to describe you. Jisung both adored and hated that about you. Every comment you made always put you through the most dangerous situations, especially with the trainers.

"You're gonna follow her, aren't you?" Jeongin said to Jisung as soon as you left the table.

"I'm tempted to but I shouldn't. She knows to defend herself so I can't say I need protect her. Plus, it would put me in trouble as well."

And so, just as you told your friends, you were off to go on your own, wandering the Dauntless grounds. It took everything in Jisung to not get up as well when he saw you leave.

You discreetly made your way up to the rooftop. As you already knew how to get there, you determined it would be a good start before going any further. Going there was easy : avoiding trainers and other people of the faction, making as little noise as you could, and getting to the rooftop without getting caught. You were used to it by now.

What you did not anticipate, however, was finding Hyunjin sitting exactly where you would be usually with Jisung, staring at the stars. Maybe your friends were right, you should have stayed at the dormitory tonight. You were starting to climb back down but Hyunjin's senses had definitely acknowledged your presence.

"Sneaking out again?" he said nonchalantly, not even bothering to look at you.

You stopped on your tracks and gulped. You didn't know if you were supposed to answer or act as if you hadn't heard to go on with leaving. You didn't have to think about that too much, though. Hyunjin finally took a look at you before nodding his head to the spot next to him. You still did not budge, too stunned from what was happening.

"Am I speaking to a wall, or...?"

Finally, you hurried to sit next to him, at a reasonable distance of course. Satisfied, he exhaled loudly before looking back at the sky.

"You do know I should ban you and your friend for coming here at night, right?" he spoke, his voice softer than usual.

"Why haven't you?"

"You're the two best of the group, it would be a terrible mistake doing so."

You snorted in disbelief. "Jisung, yes, but I'm far from being even good. I'm almost at the bottom."

He stared at you again, making you want to shit in your pants because, damn, the man was terrifying when looking at you. "You might not be physically the best, but you have the attitude and the character to survive."

It might have been the first time he complimented your behaviour. Heck, this was the first time ever he informed you it was a good attribute. If anything, you thought he despised you for being this way.

"Sure, you are a lot to handle." he continued. "But it gives me a challenge every day."

"Thank you?"

You seriously had no idea on how to respond to his comments. Other than your usual banters during training, this was the longest the both of you had ever talked.

"Don't let this go to your head, it doesn't mean I will go softer on you."

"I never-"

"You haven't treated this yet?" he said, cutting you off.

Turning his whole body to your direction, he pulled your arm closer to analyze the wound on your shoulder. You caught on he was referring to your very much infected shoulder but it didn't even hurt you that much.

"It's not hurting, I'll be okay."

Without speaking any more, he took you by the arm – your good one – and dragged you behind him as he walked to the stairs that led back inside. You didn't question him although you were a bit concerned on where he was taking you.

After a bit, you arrived in front of a door and Hyunjin took a key out of his pocket. Unlocking it, he turned the doorknob and revealed a room as big as the dormitory. One wall was solely windows and in the middle was a door leading to a balcony. A bed was messily standing in the corner while another corner was arranged to be some sort of bathroom.

"Make yourself comfortable, I'll go get the first-aid kit."

You were about to protest but he was quick to leave you on your own. So you did as told and sat on his bed, patiently waiting for him. In the meantime, you didn't miss out on observing how his room was. Rather than clumsy, it was nicely put together. He had a rack for his clothes that he had sorted by colors and styles next to couch that was very well-maintained considering the environment you were in. A few paintings were stored by the wall, almost as if he hadn't had the time to find a place for them.

"You really should have treated it right away, it goes real deep." Hyunjin almost nagged at you while sitting next to you.

"Well, the guy who did this must hate me a lot." you joked.

"I could've made it worse."

Without a warning, he pressed a cloth dripping with alcohol against your shoulder causing you to screech a little, squirming at the pain.

"Stop moving."

"Switch places with me and I'll tell you to stay still." you spat at him.

He rolled his eyes but continued to clean out your injury nonetheless. He finally removed the cloth and went on with wrapping your shoulder with gauze.

"Pretty." you let yourself slip out in a whisper.

Frowning at you, Hyunjin huffed. "What did you say?"

"Nothing." you hurried to reply, blushing in the process.

He didn't push it further and finished wrapping you up quickly. He told you to wait while he put his things back to his so-called bathroom and was quick to sit back with you.

"If you want to see the rest of the Dauntless grounds, I can take you."

Your eyes immediately got brighter. "Really?"

He chuckled, though not so much in a funny way. "I'm joking, you're not going unless we have training planned to be done outside. Today's my first and only warning about this."

You groaned. "You're such a fun killer." You stood up and walked to his door. "Fine, I won't do it again. But can I-"

"Rooftop is fine, yeah. Now leave."

Just as he had told you, Hyunjin planned a training game outdoors only a few weeks after your interaction. You didn't dare to tell your friends about it, scared Hyunjin would make your life a nightmare for it. Although he had shown himself to be more humane than you originally thought, he hadn't dropped his cold behaviour just yet. You were determined to find what he was hiding behind it. If you managed to see a glimpse of it, you were convinced you could see it all.

"Are we even on the same team?" Jeongin asked while you were all getting your weapons ready on the moving train.

"We don't know that." Seungmin answered. "I think they're made on the spot."

"It only adds to the fun, if you want my opinion." you cheered but Jisung was definitely not thinking the same.

"Y/N, are you kidding? It stresses me out. What if I'm all alone and you guys are together? Are you going to shoot me?"

You laughed at him. "You'll be fine, and yes, I will definitely shoot you."

"I hate you."

"I love you too."

Jisung smiled awkwardly at that, and it didn't go unnoticed by his two other friends. You two were not strangers to jokes of that sort but Jisung almost wished you wouldn't say it for sarcastic purposes. He liked you, you were his safe home ever since he changed factions.

"Okay, people!" Changbin said, too loud to your liking. "Hyunnie and I are going to be team captains."

"Don't call me that." Hyunjin said in disgust but the older guy totally ignored him.

"The game is Capture-the-flag which should be known by all of you. Each team protects a flag and the first to steal the other's wins. Hyunjin, why don't you start with picking your teammates?"

The man in question shook his head. "You do the honours, Binnie."

"Alright." he said in a chuckle. "Squirrel guy, you're with me."

Jisung, confused, pointed at himself and looked at you for confirmation. After finally understanding he was first picked, he smiled widely and joined Changbin's side.

"Y/N." Hyunjin said with no hesitation, surprising everyone.

"Going with the weak ones?" Changbin joked.

"I like a challenge."

It reminded you of what he told you that night. A challenge, uh. Whether it was to mock you or tease you, you liked the sound of it but just a little bit.

Jeongin and Seungmin were picked to go on Changbin's team so Jisung had no uncertainties about being alone anymore. His main worry consisted of you being stuck with the detached trainer. He didn't like Hyunjin, not a single thing about him reassured him.

Just before the game started, he sent you a smile with a wink as support and comfort to which you blushed a little. Nonetheless, your teams spread apart through the woods and abandoned buildings. Having been assigned as a seeker for the other team's flag, you lost no time in moving away from your teammates. You kept yourself on the low, bending down as you walked around carefully, making sure you weren't making too much noise.

"That's your first instinct? Walking towards the opposite team without even knowing where they are hiding their flag?" you heard someone scoff at you.

You couldn't even see properly as it was nighttime, you could even less determine where the sound was coming from. Your heartrate began to rise as the stress of not knowing who was speaking to you took over you. Discreetly, you crouched down even more and attempted to hide behind a torn down wall. Even then, it wasn't as subtle as you had hoped it to be. In a matter of seconds, someone grabbed your arm and pulled you close to them. With no hesitation, you stepped hard on their foot and punch them on the pelvic area.

"Fuck, Y/N!" you heard the man groan. And somehow, you only then came to the realization this was Hyunjin.

"I'm so so-"

"Whatever." he shut you up in a raspy voice. "If anything, this shows me you have been practicing combat fight."

You acquiesced even though he probably couldn't see you. "Need help?"

He finally straightened his posture, trying not to show too much his pain. "No, you've done enough. Now, why were you going straight to them instead of trying to find the flag?"

You frowned in confusion. "Can't I find it when I get there?"

"They could've hid it anywhere. Come with me." he ordered you around as he began to walk away.

You didn't move a single muscle and stood still. There was no way you were going to be treated this way by him.

"Y/N!" he called for you.

And it was what it took for you to give in and follow him. He was heading the opposite way to where you were originally walking to. For a moment, you started to doubt yourself for trusting his instinct this easily. That was until you spotted a tower that stood high in sky.

"What are we doing here?" you finally spoke after walking in silence.

"Higher grounds are what you need to look out for if you were to search for something or analyze a place before taking any action. You can see everything from up there." he explained while tossing branches away that were blocking the access to the ladder. "We'll go up until we are high enough to see what's happening on their side."

He immediately hopped on the ladder, climbing it with no difficulty whatsoever. You watched him, baffled and nervous. Heights were not a fear of yours, but climbing what seemed to being an unstable ladder in the middle of the night was nothing close to reassuring. You stuck with watching Hyunjin go higher, looking around from time to time in case someone was to suddenly appear.

"Y/N!" he yelled from where he was the moment he understood you weren't behind him. "What are you doing?"

"Someone's got to stay on the lookout, no?" you answered, embarrassed.

With a heavy sigh, he began to climb down. Luckily, he hadn't gone too far so it took only a minute to come back on the ground. Once he was facing you, Hyunjin crossed his arms in front of his torso as he stared down at you. You were reminded, once again, of his tall figure as you were feeling so small.

"I thought you weren't afraid of heights."

"I'm not." you confirmed.

"Why weren't you climbing, then?"

You gulped and started to search for your words. Never were you this nervous in front of him. Was it because of the ladder or because of the proximity between the two of you? Either way, you weren't capable of letting a single sound out of your mouth.

He sighed again but loosened his posture. "Go before me, I'll be behind you in case anything happens."

You blinked slowly, not fully understanding what he said. Still, you walked to the ladder and started to make your way up. The bars weren't as fragile as you expected them to be, which was a good sign. As you were getting higher, you grew more confident. Perhaps, maybe a little too much.

In a swift and rapid motion, your foot had to slip. Thus, one of your hands let go of the bar and you were barely hanging there. Hyunjin was quick to join you and grab you by the waist, bringing you close enough to the bar so you could get a good grip on it again. Even if you were already secure again, he didn't let go of you just yet.

"Thanks." you murmured.

He cleared his throat as he let go of your body. "Be more careful, this could have cost your life."

Ignoring the feeling in the pit of your stomach, you continued to go up until you reached a platform. Slightly out of breath, you sat down to the side to leave a place for Hyunjin to sit as well. He copied your motion and began to detach his equipment from his suit. You looked at him curiously until he pulled out an electronic telescope, holding it out to you.

"What?" you asked obliviously.

He rolled his eyes in disbelief. "Really?"

Catching on what he was expecting from you, you took it and placed it on your eyes. You could easily zoom in and out and analyze the field. Not so far from your own spot, the building across had one room on a high floor that was filled with people chatting. You recognized, with no doubt, Seungmin's face as he was in charge with a couple of other people of protecting the flag.

"Got it. Can we go, now?" you asked, giving him back the telescope.

Hyunjin, however, was not focused one bit on what you were saying. His eyes were looking up the sky, taking a moment to observe each individual star that were on display. He was full of amazement, eyes glistening from the little amount of light the moon provided. You already thought he was pretty, but he was more than that at that point. He was ethereal, breathtaking.

"And to think there is a whole world to discover while we're here..." he spoke lowly, mostly to himself.

"What do you mean?"

His eyes tore away from the stars and went to you while he let a breath out. "Do you really not know what I mean?" Clueless, you shook your head which made him chuckle, but in a sad manner. "Y/N, do you know how the factions were formed?"

You nodded confidently. "It was created to prevent another war from breaking out, to keep everybody where they belong."

He chuckled again with a hint of discouragement this time. "I doubt you believe what they told you in those classes."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"This city, the factions, the rules... It's all keeping us out from what is happening outside."

You huffed. "But beyond the walls is-"

"Whatever they want us to believe."

A siren interrupted your talk, informing all the players that the game was nearing its end, meaning there wasn't much time left for you to steal the flag.

Hyunjin stood up on his feet and pulled out a wire with pulleys, not forgetting to attach them securely to the structure. Without saying a thing, he brought your body close to his as he firmly held onto you.

"Ready?"

"For what?"

He shrugged. "I guess you are."

Next thing you know, you were hanging in the air by a thread while Hyunjin was jumping down on the side of the tower's structure. You allowed yourself to yelp ever slightly causing Hyunjin to complain about it.

"Just get a good hold of me and you'll be fine."

"Easy for you to say."

"We're almost there, stop squirming around."

When you finally reached the ground, Hyunjin detached himself from the wires and the two of you ran towards the building where the flag was kept. He went in first, shooting every single players of the opposite side with no guilt whatsoever. Although these darts were only simulating the pain of real bullets, you felt bad for the poor initiates getting taken down by Hyunjin.

Too distracted by the show in front of you, you received a hard push behind your head, falling on the floor automatically. You spun around to stop whoever was attacking you only for your heart to drop.

Jisung was on top of you, breathing heavily, his weapon ready to slash you.

This was a game, you had to remind yourself of that. But the sight of him ready to hurt you simply broke you. A tear slipped out of his eye against his will, falling directly onto your face.

"Y/N, I-"

He couldn't finish his sentence, and fell on you as he groaned in pain. Hyunjin stood behind with his gun pointed to Jisung. Quickly, he helped you get away from underneath your friend. As he was leading you upstairs, you looked back at Jisung with sadness. It took a harsh tug from Hyunjin for you to come back to your senses and walk up the stairs.

And there, you won the game.

Three weeks in itself isn't long. Three weeks without Jisung felt like an eternity. While fighting during the game, he had hit his head so hard that the pain of the dart was all it took to completely knock him out. And out was he... He had barely reacted to your voice when you were visiting him, which was every day. The more time passed, the more concerned you were getting. Seungmin and Jeongin stopped by from time to time but not nearly as much as you.

"He'll be alright." Jeongin tried to reassure you.

Your gaze was still on your friend's limp body while you shook your head no. "Weeks worth of coma caused by a simple hit on the head is very worrisome, Innie."

"You know Jisung, he's a fighter."

"Sure."

Giving up, the younger boy decided it was better to leave you alone. At the door, Hyunjin observed the scene from afar, mainly focusing on you. While your physical abilities were improving, he was afraid it wasn't the case for your mental state. As Jeongin gave him a simple nod while leaving the room, he decided to try to talk you out of staying there all night, again.

"There's a party tonight."

"So I've heard." you responded rather harshly.

"You should go."

"No."

Hyunjin sat right across from you. "He won't magically wake up if you sit there all night."

You decided to look at him, daggers in the eyes. "You should be glad I'm still talking to you, you're part as to why he's still like this."

"The darts stimulate pain, they don't affect the body in any way." he explained for what seemed to be the hundredth time to him.

"How can you be sure of that?"

"They were designed for that."

You hummed. "Maybe they want us to believe that." you replied, taking his words from that night at the tower.

You saw his jaw clench before he stood up. "I'm sorry he's not awake yet but I sure hope you learn how to stop being a coward."

Slamming the door behind him, Hyunjin was fuming. Not because you spoke to him in a rude manner, more because he felt like you had shut yourself down completely from him. Just as he was starting to understand you, your way of being.

"You think he'll cut you off for that?"

Jisung's voice took you back in immediately and you sighed in relief when you noticed his eyes slowly opening. You didn't hesitate to throw yourself into his arms, even if it was hurting him a bit. After breaking apart, you didn't forget to punch his arm to which he fake-cried.

"You asshole! You scared the shit out of me!"

Still wincing, he rubbed the spot where you had just hit him. "I didn't know you loved me this much, should I be honoured?" This earned another push from you and he understood this was his sign to stop messing around.

"I missed you." you pouted.

"I know." he chuckled. "How long was I out?"

"Three weeks."

His eyes widened, even bigger than usual. "Almost a whole month?" he whispered to himself and then looked at you with fear. "Am I... you know... at the bottom?" he dared to ask.

But your smile was enough for him to feel relieved. "I made sure Hyunjin kept you up since it was partially his fault."

"The darts don't even-"

"Nuh, uh." you shushed him. "Thank me instead."

"Thank you my beloved Y/N."

"My pleasure." you said with a proud smile.

A comfortable silence set in. However, Jisung still had one thing that bugged him. And in all honesty, it still bugged you as well. It was as if none of you dared to bring it up first. So, Jisung gathered all of his courage and broke the ice.

"I didn't mean to hurt you."

You smiled weakly. "I know."

"But..." he encouraged you to go on.

"But it terrified me." you admitted.

He took both of your hands, holding them together with his. "I swear I didn't even recognize you from behind. And I'm sorry I stayed on you too long, I was in shock with myself. I... I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I actually hurt you."

You brought him in an embrace, holding him close. "I know you didn't mean it. We're good, don't worry."

He exhaled in relief before hugging you back. You were the only one he fully trusted, he would never allow himself to do something like this ever again, he would make sure of it.

"I heard Hyunjin talk about some sort of party?"

You nodded. "To congratulate us for making it to the next phase."

"Already? Wow... But I missed out on some stuff."

"You were at the top three, they know you're well-qualified."

After making sure Jisung was stable enough to participate at the said-party, it took you no more than a couple of minutes to get ready and join the crowd in the basement. Music was playing loudly but it didn't stop the other initiates to take notice of a very much awake Jisung. You let him go with his other friends to catch up and went by yourself to get a drink. Now you were in the mood to celebrate.

Chan was present to see how things were progressing apparently, but you believed it was because this was an opportunity for him to let it loose for once. From what you've heard, this man never took a break. He was being pretty relax in the company of Changbin and Seungmin. If your friend was going to befriend the leader of the faction, you surely were happy to be on his good side.

"Want me to introduce him to you?"

You jumped up when you noticed Hyunjin next to you. For a second, you forgot to breathe. Both because he scared you and because of how goddam good he looked. This evening was full of people dressed in rather classier attires so it made sense he was going to choose an outfit accordingly. Still, it didn't prevent you from being speechless of the sight of him. His dark locks weren't tied anymore and they fell perfectly on the sides of his face. He still had his combat boots but they were completing the look of his black jeans and his loose buttoned shirt. It might have been the first time you saw him wearing any kind of jewellery.

"So?"

You shook yourself off your thoughts and shook your head. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Chan is a young good-looking guy, I can understand why he'd catch your attention."

You furrowed your eyebrows. "Are you saying I am interested in him?"

"Why wouldn't you be?"

Taking a sip of the alcoholic drink he had, you couldn't stop yourself from checking him out once more. His Adam's apple bopped up as he swallowed, showing off all of his veins. Was he doing this purposely?

"He's the leader."

He let out a laugh. "It doesn't mean he's off limit."

"Sir, I'm 21 years old and he's, what, 30?"

"26, actually."

"Almost had it."

You exchanged a laughter, weirdly enough. Although your previous altercation was, well, unpleasant, you felt rather at ease with him. Their was this silent agreement to not bring it up or start one of your regular quarrels.

"I was looking at him because I was wondering why Seungmin was with them."

"Ah." Hyunjin simply said, drinking more of the alcohol afterwards. "And why do you think they're all together?"

"No clue."

He laughed again. "Does it matter why?"

"I'm just curious."

"I've noticed."

You gasped in surprise, although sarcastic. "Our trainer Hyunjin noticing me? I must be dreaming!"

"Hwang Hyunjin." he revealed. "That's my full name if that helps your very convincing statement."

"Hwang." you repeated. "Are you, by any chance, related to a Yeji? She's a Candor and her last name is Hwang."

He gave you a smirk and drank again. You were growing annoyed at his constant sipping, especially since he was now using it to stall.

"My cousin." he informed.

"What a small world."

He scoffed. "I told you, there is one much bigger to discover."

"And here you go again with your nonsense."

"Me? Y/N, the only one between us who is full of nonsense is you."

You glared at him, taking it very personally. "Pardon me?"

He put his glass on the counter for a refill, as well as yours. You didn't notice you had finished it. "You're hard to read, it's frustrating."

"Okay, creep."

While you found yourself to be hilarious, he was definitely not of the same opinion. He drank again and set his glass aside to come closer to you, as if he wasn't close enough already. "I can see through everyone, but you, you confuse me."

You felt your breath hitch. "You aren't easy to decipher either."

"I know, but I do it purposely. You don't."

Looking over his shoulder, you caught a glimpse of Jisung making his way through to crowd towards you. You weren't necessarily happy he was coming to your rescue but you were glad at the same time. Knowing him, however, you felt like something bad was about to happen.

"Hyunjin." he said, putting his hand on the man's shoulder. "Can I steal Y/N from you for a second?"

Hyunjin glanced at Jisung's hand with what resembled anger but he said nothing, leaving with his drink to go elsewhere. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding and chugged down your own beverage before asking for another refill.

"Woah, there." Jisung said as he pushed your drink away from your mouth.

You pouted. "One more."

"I think you need to sit down."

Leading you to a corner that was quieter, he sat down with you on a couch without forgetting to bring you a bottle of water. Growing worried, he patted your bag while you drank the liquid.

"What happened back there?"

You shrugged. "I don't know." You looked around for a moment and spotted the tattoo section. "Oh, should I get one?"

"Okay, the night is over for you."

He helped you up while you argued you were fine. You were right in some way, you weren't totally drunk. Because of your talk with Hyunjin, however, the confusion got the best of you which only worsened your state.

Walking among the sea of people, Jisung was still holding onto you firmly to not lose you. You were almost at the exit. Only, there had to be someone to stop the two of you. Standing next to the hallway that led to the dormitory, Hyunjin looked at you curiously.

"Is she okay?" he asked your friend.

"She would have been better if it wasn't for you."

Baffled by Jisung's claims, he scoffed. "I didn't do anything."

"You refilled her drink, did you drug her?"

Hyunjin stepped closer to Jisung, towering him. "You really think I would do something like this?"

You put your hand in front of the two men, pushing them away from one another. "Guys, no one drugged anybody."

"I would've cut you out of the group if it wasn't for her. Instead of accusing me of something I didn't do, focus on your attitude or I will definitely boot you out."

"Hyunjin." you tried to catch his attention but nothing.

"I will respect you the day you stop harassing my friend."

"Harassing?"

You knew by then there was nothing you could do that would calm either of them. As they continued to bicker, you stepped away in fear it would get physical eventually. And as predicted, Jisung was the first to throw the punch. He received the same before he took Hyunjin by the collar, pushing him up against the wall. Soon later, the attention of the whole group was on them, including Chan's.

You were more than relieved when he rushed to take Jisung away from the trainer, who had then been tackled on the floor. Both of their clothes were stained with blood as their wounds were fresh. While Jisung was taken away by Chan and Changbin to wherever, Hyunjin sat up, wincing at the pain.

While you were dying to be by Jisung's side to check on him, especially since he had just woken up from a coma, getting dragged away by the faction's leader meant he was off-limit for now. So, you rushed to Hyunjin's side and helped him up before you took him away from everyone. You tried to remember where his room was but it went blank in your mind.

"Uh, where is your room?" you asked shyly, a bit uncomfortable to be asking him anything while he was this injured.

"Fourth level, end of the hallway."

You decided that the elevator was more appropriate than the stairs. Once you reached his level, he took out his key for you to open his room. You got him to lay in his bed and then went to look for his first-aid kit.

"First cabinet, last shelf." he indicated in a weak voice as he noticed you were struggling to find it.

"Got it."

You made yourself comfortable next to him, close to his face as it was where it had the most damage. The once-perfect skin he has was painted with blood and cuts all over. While you understood why Jisung did so, you still couldn't believe he who caused this. Ignoring the thought, you focused on applying alcohol directly onto the wounds and he winced and grunted in pain. You whispered an apology, feeling truly bad for making him suffer even more. You were quick to move on and start wrapping him up with bandages, not forgetting to clean the spots where some blood had dried up.

You felt his eyes on you but acted as if you didn't see that. But at some point, it became too intense to ignore.

"What?" you said, still cleaning his forehead.

"I'll tell them to keep Jisung."

You finally stared back at him. "He attacked you."

"And I did push too far with you earlier, I have to admit."

"You don't have to defend him."

You were following the blood stain to remove it but soon realized it wasn't just on his forehead or his jaw. One was coming form his cheek all the way down past his neck. As he seemed to understand that as well, he began to unbutton his shirt.

"No." you said right away, grabbing his hand to stop him.

"I can do it myself if you don't want to..."

Even his voice had some discomfort in it. Nonetheless, you encouraged him to go on and, hesitantly, he slowly unbuttoned all the way down and removed his shirt entirely. You had an idea that he was toned because of how physical he had to be on a daily basis. Despite knowing that, you were left breathless by the view. Toned, yes, but his muscles were standing out so much even if his figure was quite slender. What you hadn't imagined he would have were the dozens of scars all over his torso.

Without thinking, your hand moved to go over each one of them, touching them so slightly that he could barely feel it. "Wow."

Hyunjin's face get redder and redder, not because he was bleeding out. "The... uh... You can- I-"

You blinked a couple of times before your concentration was back on getting rid of the stains on his skin. You did it rather fast, mostly because you were embarrassed by your own actions. Who would touch their superior like this?

He thanked you before taking a random shirt that was laying on his bed and put it on. While you were packing the kit up to put it back in its place, he closed his eyes while breathing in and out. While he still felt horrible, your presence made it ten times better. Even if you were only standing a few feet away, doing nothing.

"Can I ask a question?" you said as soon as you came back.

"You asked one now."

You huffed, stunned he was being annoying despite his physical status. "Right... Uh, I don't want to seem noisy but..."

"The scars?" he finished for you, opening his eyes.

"Yes."

He thought for a moment, probably debating whether he should tell you or not. After a couple of seconds, he finally spoke up. "Being a Dauntless born has its downsides, let's say."

This wasn't good enough of an answer for you. Sure, you now learned his birth faction but this didn't tell you how he got these marks. A bit frustrated with that, you jumped on the other side of his bed, legs crossed.

"Can I see them again?"

He stared at you, bewildered. "Wh-what?"

"Can I?"

He would've said no, and he knew that's what he should've said. But something bigger than him was telling him to trust you. It was a part of his life that was so personal and sensitive to bring up for him. But he took off his shirt again as you did the same as earlier, inspect one scar after the other. You are pretty, he noted. The crease created between your brows was adorable, you were too focused to take notice you were doing that.

"Was it your parents?"

"Something like that."

Your eyes moved up to meet his. "Your trainers?"

His simple heavy breath told plenty to you. Determining you weren't going to push it more, you simply nodded and continued to look at his imperfections. As much as they were many, they added so much beauty to him, more than he had to begin with.

"I think I should go now." you whispered.

"Yeah."

And alone he was again, only seconds after being this intimate with you.

Jeongin couldn't help but pace the floor as he was waiting for his turn to do the first psychological test. Although these were only practices, the idea of having to face his fears distressed him. Having enough of it, you stood up to grab him by the shoulders to stop him.

"Innie, breathe."

The youngest shook his head vigorously. "You saw how Jisung was when he came out of there."

"Jisung is naturally a scaredy cat. This is made especially for dealing appropriately with fears and yours aren't so bad. You'll do great."

Almost on cue, Seungmin came out of the room with his face deprived from all its colour. Lifelessly, he sat next to you before leaning on you.

"Sure, I'll do great." Jeongin huffed out, gesturing to Seungmin as if he had proven his point.

It didn't take long for his name to get called and, a minute later, yours. When you stepped inside, the seat placed in the middle reminded you of the setup for your aptitude test. For once since a few weeks, the image of your brother popped in your mind, very vividly. How was Felix doing? Was it as hard to adapt as it had been for you? Was he well-surrounded? Did he find Minho? He must have. You would question things if he hadn't.

"Mrs. Lee." Hyunjin said as he motioned for you to take a seat.

"Using last names all of the sudden, Hwang?"

He gave you a stern look. "Please, sit while I prepare everything."

Unwilling to listen to him, you still did as told. The sooner you were going to be over with all this, the better.

"My last one was Han and he didn't react very well. I assure you, this is normal as it is your first time. Now, I can see everything you will see through this monitor here. If I notice any sign of panic, I will unplug you right away. Questions?"

You stared at him blankly, unbothered by his instructions and warnings. "Nope, all good."

He let out an elongated sigh. "Y/N, can you be a bit more cooperative?"

"Just give me the shot."

Despite his discontent with your attitude, he gave you the shot which transported your mind to a whole new environment. The first of your fears was the void. Evidently, you were in nowhere in particular. Just floating. All of the sudden, you started to perceive a light from afar. As this must be your next fear to face, you tried to reach it.

Until you realized you were not able to move forward. Or move at any direction for that matter. You felt your heart beat faster as panic slowly crept on you. Of course you knew this was the purpose of this test but you couldn't help it. That was until your mind began to reason itself in its own. This isn't real, you told yourself. With that in mind, you calmed down a little and observed your surrounding. Surely, there was a solution to your issue. Instead of imagining yourself in the void, you changed it into water. Now you could swim.

Congratulating yourself mentally, you swam towards the light, getting closer by the second. Reaching it, you could make out that it wasn't just light, it was an exit. Going up to the surface, you were surprised to arrive at what seemed to be a field of flowers. Confused, you assumed something else would come along. That is only if you could get out of the hole. The exit had shrunk significantly, making it nearly impossible to get away. Your second fear: getting stuck without being able to set yourself free. Once again, the panic attack came back. Only this time, you could feel it was worse than earlier. Trying every position possible, you still couldn't move by an inch. Growing discouraged, your breaths were more uneven, heavier...

Until you reminded yourself that none of this was real. And so, you took a deep breath, closed your eyes, and pushed yourself up. Just like that, you out, safe and sound. It didn't last long as an army of bees came flying right towards you. Logically, you began to run from it. The field of flowers had no place where you could hide of capture them. How the hell were you going to get away now? Right, this is all in your mind. Stopping on your tracks, you closed your eyes and imagined butterflies instead of bees. It was only a few seconds later that the buzzing stopped. Slowly opening your eyes, you were greeted by field full of butterflies flying around.

Having being unplugged, you were pulled back to reality in an instant as you gasped for air. Hyunjin was still looking at the monitor, deep in thoughts.

"What the hell?"

"Shhh." he told you off.

You crossed your arms, rather unhappy that he interrupted your test for whatever stupid reason he had. He was playing back your test over and over again, you began to think he was simply obsessed with how smart you were.

"You're different."

"I'd say I'm logical, but sure."

Hyunjin grunted out of frustration. "Stop that. None of the things you did were Dauntless-like behaviours."

You frowned. "And that means..?"

"You're divergent, aren't you?"

Your body froze. There was no way he would know. How could he? Only from a test like this?

"I don't know what that is."

He huffed a chuckle. "Don't lie to me."

"I swear I have no clue what divergent means."

He scrutinized your face in search of any sign you weren't telling the truth. However, you were good at this game and you were not going to let him win.

"Alright. What were your results?" he ended up asking.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"The aptitude test, what did you get?"

"Erudite." you answered in a second.

"No, what were they really?"

"Erudite."

He bit his bottom lip, getting visibly impatient with you. "You're lying."

"For fuck's sake! It's Erudite, I'm telling you."

His gaze stayed on you for a bit, too long to your liking. In the end, he dismissed you without questioning any more. You were glad he did but at the same time, you were getting worried as if he was about to tell on you to Chan. He had the power to do that, after all.

"Told you, it's traumatizing." Jeongin said as soon as he spotted you.

You smiled and nodded in agreement, hiding any other expression. "Yeah, you were right."

Jisung laughed uncontrollably while you were almost to the point of crying. You didn't even remember what made you laugh so hard but his laugh itself was plenty to make you cackle nonstop. Ever since the incident at the party, you two had been getting along incredibly well. Chan decided to keep him in under the condition he behaved, and he did. Most importantly, his attitude was more positive than ever. He showed himself as confident and proud, and also very funny. A side of him you had yet not discovered. Until now.

"Y/N?" he said after you had gotten over your laughter.

"Jisung?"

"I like you."

You sneered. "I know."

"No, uh... I meant it as in, I think I have feelings for you."

You thanked the universe that it was night so he could barely see your reaction. A blushing mess you were. You certainly didn't expect a normal night out on the rooftop to turn into a confession, even less from Han Jisung. Did you like him too? Maybe?

"Ji, I-"

"Guys." a voice you, now, recognized so easily interrupted you.

Jisung would've punched Hyunjin right there and there for ruining the moment but he had rules to follow. As the older man nodded his head to the staircase, he understood this was his cue to leave. Only him.

"We'll talk about it later?" he told you before going.

Only you and Hyunjin now. The subject of what happened after the party still had no been brought up, even less the discussion that happened during your test. It was killing you inside that both these topics had not been cleared out, especially the last one considering its gravity.

He was the first to speak, asking you to come to his room. You didn't protest and you headed to the said-place in complete silence. It was better like this, you couldn't see yourself do some small talk while fully knowing there was an elephant in the room that wasn't being addressed.

After he closed the door, he walked right up to his balcony, implying that you had to do the same. Leaning on the metal bars, he finally took a look at you. You straightened your back, starting to feel intimidated.

"You lied, didn't you?"

There was something about his room that made things seem simpler than what they were. Unconsciously, you acquiesced without a doubt but quickly panicked.

"I lied that it was Erudite." you tried to justify, thinking you could save yourself by stating another faction. "It was actually-"

"Divergent." he finished for you. "You are all of the factions, not just one."

"Hyunjin, please don't tell Chan."

He cocked his head to the side. "Why would I tell him? What would it change, anyway?"

"I was told that it can... that I'm not wanted." you kept it simple.

He turned around to observe the view, completely ignoring your answer. Unsure of what to do next, you walked up next to him, mimicking his actions. It stayed like this for a while, until he spoke again.

"That's why I couldn't read you. You are brutally honest but so gentle at the same time. You think of others before yourself. You think of stuff so clever that the test doesn't even work on you, and you dare to do whatever you decide to do even if you don't know what will happen."

You weren't sure if you had to say something to that but him talking again answered that doubt real quick.

"You can't do your test like you did today in front of the faction leaders or they will know."

"Why?"

He chuckled. "You turned nothing into water, bees into butterflies. You slipped out of a hole that was supposed to be impossible to get out of. Y/N, these are not ways a Dauntless would think."

"Alright, sure. How am I supposed to confront my fears, then?"

He hesitated, not knowing if his plan was good or not. You weren't the first Divergent he helped but your personality and mind was stronger than what he had dealt with before. You were a tricky case.

"Meet me at the test room tomorrow morning. I'll show you an example."

"I'll be there."

"Good."

You both focused back on the view. That was settled at least but it didn't mean the awkwardness was totally gone. You thought of ways to bring up the weird tension you had, none seemed appropriate. Was it better if you simply straight up tell him you want to know more about his past? Or should you start with bringing up the way you felt when touching his skin? You weren't sure if you even wanted to bring it up anymore. Maybe you should leave now.

Seeing you turn on your heels to reach his front door, the only thing that Hyunjin could think of was how much he would regret not holding you back.

"Try again." Hyunjin instructed after seeing you now controlling the bees instead of doing what you were supposed to.

"If you told me what to do, we would have been done with it by now." you argued.

"You have to find it out by yourself, try again."

You groaned, getting sick of going through the same fear over and over again. Not only because you were actually getting scared but also because it was repetitive. In Hyunjin's opinion, you weren't thinking like a Dauntless just yet. Restarting for the nth time, you started out by waiting for the point pf light to get bigger instead of trying to go after it. Once you were able to reach it, you tried climbing out of it but got stuck. As you did on a previous attempt, you grabbed a stick nearby and dug the hole to make it larger, letting yourself free.

Now, the bees. This was the bit you couldn't figure out. You tried befriending them but they stung you anyway. You tried getting them sucked in the flowers. You even tried to eat them. At that point, you were desperate for Hyunjin's help but he still refused to give you any guidance.

"Y/N, think for a second. What do you when a bee lands on you?"

You assumed he was growing annoyed himself as he finally gave you some sort of hint. Obviously, the right way to respond in this situation was to stay calm. He couldn't believe you didn't figure it out.

"Onto the next fear." he sighed.

The setting morphed into an empty room where there was nothing. Well, almost nothing. In front of you, there were your brothers standing next to each other and they both had something in their grasp that horrified you. They were holding guns point at you. You haven't been aware any of your fears involved your family. Maybe the change of faction did have an effect on you.

"Who are they?" Hyunjin asked.

Even though you were shaking quite a lot, you answered nonetheless. "Minho and Felix. My brothers."

You had to have a reasoning according to your bravery, not any other aspect. With that in mind, you grabbed both guns and twisted them around to unarm your brother before aiming at their heads in your turn. You immediately shot them, not wanting to deal with the internal heartache you had.

Gasping for air, you were back in the test room with Hyunjin, tears streaming down your face.

"How are you holding up?"

There was all the care in the world in his simple question. You would have answered truthfully but what you were experiencing at the moment was overwhelming.

"Good, I'm all set for the final test. Wait for the light, dig a hole, stay calm and shoot. Easy-peasy. Thank you, Hwang."

Storming out of the room, there was one place you had in mind that could truly ease your thoughts and emotions.

Home.

Obviously, you didn't have a home in itself per say. Still, you really needed the reassurance of seeing them well and alive. Beyond the fact you were aware mixing with other factions was not allowed unless there was a legal necessity, you really didn't care.

You had never seen the Erudite area up so close, even less their main headquarters. You recalled Minho mentioning he was hoping to obtain a position there for work so this was your best chance to find him. Unsurprisingly, people around were staring at you weirdly as you definitely didn't fit in. You felt self-conscious for an instant but tried to shake the feeling off as you were arriving at the front desk. The woman glanced up at you before working on her computer again.

"Name, reason for visit?"

You smiled awkwardly as you were not sure what you were supposed to say. She waited for you to talk but since no words were coming out from your part, she was quick to dismiss you.

You would have left if you weren't so desperate. "No, ma'am. I'm actually meeting up with someone named Lee Minho."

"I see... Name?"

She started to type and you lowkey panicked. That was until your spotted Felix from afar, by some sort of miracle. Sighing in relief, you called him out and the moment he spotted you, he ran towards you.

"Y/N, what the fuck are you doing here?" he almost yelled, earning a stern glare from the receptionist. "This is my sister, she's with me."

The woman nodded reluctantly but let the two of you go. Felix brought you up to his office to not bring so much attention to you. You were happy to see he had settled just fine in his new home, from what it looked like.

"I'll call Minho over. He's been asking a lot about you." your twin chuckled before sending a message to your sibling. It took you aback that Minho was even aware you existed. Your childhood relationship was never good. "What are you doing here?"

You laughed sheepishly and cleared your throat. "It hasn't been the easiest adapting and..." you trailed off.

"Hey, it's okay." he tried to reassure you. "To be honest, it's been hell for me as well."

You sensed that something was off, a feeling you would usually never have towards him. Felix was a bright and ambitious person who always had no difficulty in fitting in.

"Did you come here because of mom and dad?"

He avoided your stare and fiddled with his rings, visibly distressed by your question. To his luck, a knock was heard from the door. Not bothering to wait for someone to open it for him, Minho walked in and his eyes fell upon you immediately.

"I thought Lix was joking." he laughed incredulously while coming up to hug you. "And I thought he lied about you going to Dauntless. Who would have thought?"

"I'm not so weak anymore." you rolled your eyes, breaking away from him.

Even if it felt weird to be the three of you together again, it was plenty to calm you down from the experience you've had. Minho had matured, physically but in personality too.

"What can we do for you?" he questioned after you were done with your little reunion.

"I'm just having some issues with adapting, that's all. And I missed you two."

The older man snorted. "Sure."

You deadpanned at him. "I'm serious. The initiation there has been killing me inside. We've started the psychological trials and things have been hard."

Felix now had his full attention on you. "I've heard about it. Some don't make it past this phase."

"Yeah, it's hardcore. I had a test this morning."

Minho caught onto what you were avoiding to say explicitly. "One of your fears is us?"

"Not you exactly. More the action you make."

Your twin exhaled loudly. "Wow, okay. Are you sure you want to go on with all this?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Come here with us."

You scoffed. "No thank you. You, yourself, don't want to be here."

Once again, Felix looked away shamefully and didn't dare to speak any more. To diffuse the atmosphere, Minho changed topics and informed you about how it was for him when he entered Erudite. Not that it wasn't interesting but your situation was too different from his. Not a single thing he mentioned was relevant to how it was going for you.

"But I have to say, Felix joining in was a huge relief."

"It wasn't my first choice." the younger man said, taking the opportunity to finally admit it. "My results were Abnegation."

The two of you exchanged looks with sympathy. "It's okay." you smiled.

Minho huffed. "You lied, wow. I'm both impressed and confused."

"Come on, Min. Mom and dad would have never approved of this."

"I know that but after you change factions, they have no say in what you do with your life. I'm certain they weren't thrilled when you chose Dauntless."

He did make a good point. But for Felix, it was too late. The main thing about Abnegation is selflessness, and it was that very characteristic that cost him to not pursue his real calling. You felt a lot for him, even more so because yourself weren't sure if you made the right choice.

"You can't stay for much longer, people will question things." Minho reminded you. "If someone asked, you were called for a new technology testing and that it's confidential."

You agreed for them to walk you out just to be certain you were safe until that point. What you didn't expect was to see Jisung standing right in front of the building, anxiously looking around. After parting ways with your brothers, you ran up to him.

"Jisung?"

The moment he spotted you, you could see the relief he felt. "Don't scare me like that! Hyunjin told me you ran away and sent me to find you."

You questioned yourself as to why the trainer didn't come himself if he was the one concerned. Besides that, you were touched Jisung had taken upon himself to search for you.

"I needed to figure some stuff out with my brothers."

You walked back to the training building just it was time for dinner. However, you weren't so hungry. You insisted for Jisung go eat without you even if he tried to convince you to tag along, having other plans in mind. The weather was perfect to enjoy the fresh air, meaning the rooftop was a good place to relax.

You don't know how long you stayed there, there were too many thoughts in your heads that even the quiet sound of the wind was bothering you. Before you knew it, it was nighttime. Somehow, you weren't tired nor did you felt like you had to go back inside.

The noises were become more bothersome when you heard someone coming up. Now used to it, you replaced yourself more comfortably to leave the place next to you free. Hyunjin's tall figure came into your view and he made his way to sit with you.

"You didn't eat."

"Not hungry." you responded nonchalantly.

"Jisung told me you went to visit your brothers. How did it go?"

You looked at him suspiciously. "Aren't you going to nag at me for breaking rules again?"

"Sweetheart, I gave up doing that a while ago."

Your heart tightened from his words. Still, you pretended it wasn't. "It went well. It definitely helped with... Well, you know."

Silence set in once again. None of you spoke as you were too preoccupied your own thoughts. Hyunjin was having a crisis on whether he should confide in you or not. His own experience was something he believed to be horrifying. If you knew about it, maybe you'd be reassured. Settling on that, he still had no idea on how he'd bring up the subject. He still tried.

"My biggest fear is loneliness. I know it can be surprising considering that I am most of the time alone. Chan and Changbin are like brothers to me, you can't find better people." He paused for a second, thinking about how he was going to continue his mini-monologue. "I don't have siblings, nor do I have parents. They died when I was a baby still. This guy took custody of me and he was a trainer. I think he didn't know how to raise a child. I was the rebellious kind so I can't blame for getting mad at me so often but he marked me for life."

You understood he was referring to his scars, most likely punishments he had received in the past. Taking his forearm to stop him for telling you furthermore. Unbeknownst to him, small tears fell off his eyes. You rubbed his skin with your thumb as to say you were grateful that he trusted you to tell you something so personal. You both looked back at the sky, simply enjoying the company of the other. You couldn't comprehend how exactly you started feeling so safe with him. One thing for sure was that you had a mutual understanding of each other. Without saying it, you sensed his thoughts and he sensed yours. But there was one thought he had been having in mind for a while.

"What was your answer to Han?" he broke the silence.

"I haven't answered yet. I think I'll tell him that I need time."

"What is stopping you? You get along quite well." he commented but you didn't think this was a good reason to say yes.

"First of all, I don't think I see him like this. And second of all, well... I mean, there's you."

His gaze shifted from the scenery to you. You didn't see through him so well, he was a mix of so many emotions. His eyes were both hopeful and ashamed. Full of lust and full of pain. You couldn't pinpoint his exact reaction and it drove you crazy.

"I can't tell you that it's right." he finally replied. "But yes, there is me I suppose."

You had unconsciously stepped closer to him, so much that you could feel the warmth his body emitted. And again, the lighting from the moon hit his features so perfectly that you could see every single one of them. His eyes shined, his cheekbones as well, and his lips were so pink, it was almost like they were inviting you to be kissed. Gradually, your hands moved up to land on his upper arms. As for him, his own were positioning themselves to lay on the space between your jaw and your neck. You could see his face getting dangerously close to yours and it only intensified the electricity that was traveling all over your body. Just as your lips were about to touch, he stopped but didn't pull back.

"Are you sure?" he said lowly.

"Yes."

And your mouths clashed together. All of the tension that had built up until then exploded, so much it was nearly impossible to handle. But it was addicting. Soon, you realized staying outside probably wasn't a good idea. A bit in a rush, you headed back inside to go in his room.

Pushing you back inside, he careful led you both to his bed before carefully laying you down on your back. Moving down to kiss your neck, he left a trail of sloppy kisses on your jaw while his hands rubbed against your skin as they travelled down to grab onto your thighs. He squeezed them, hard enough to make you gasp but light enough to not hurt you.

"You've been driving me crazy." he said in-between kisses.

"You too."

He went on to grope your ass, causing to moan louder than you would've liked to. As for him, he grinned at the sound, visibly satisfied.

"Poor Jisung will never get to hear this."

You weren't totally there, your mind had too much to unpack there that you could answer. The kissing only continued, intensified. Panting heavily, you didn't know you could hold your breath for this long. Before you knew it, you were undressing each other while the moon still shined as brightly as ever.

You didn't understand the world you lived in. One thing was clear to you, Hyunjin was going to be by your side on your journey of discovering it all. There might not be in place for you in this city, but you had a place with him. You could settle for that.

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[iuciferic]

Oh my god I was just thinking about asks the other day and then it wasn't available so I'm gonna use this. I found you through Armored Core and I've stayed for the OC art because the SUN GOD??? Immaculate. I've been dying to know, is there like, a post on here with more information on the lore of these characters you've created? I'm so invested.

Hi and thank you for asking

I'm admittedly the WORST person to ask their OCs about because i have dozens of different AUs where those OCs doesn't even have the same names, relationships, ages, status, powers, etc because i really use them as barbie dolls

And even the lore of main universe (sol invictus) keeps changing (hence why i keep deleting the webcomic). But I promise I'm gonna try to make a definitive artbook.

However the main thing about the story that mostly doesn't change and you can read it under here:

Apologies, i write badly, english is not my native language and my friends usually proofread my comics to make the dialogues sound more natural

Basically gods are aliens, they're space entities such as planets, stars, black holes, etc or even phenomenon like wind, thunder... and are more or less sentient. Once there was a huge star called Paragon that imploded into a black hole. When it imploded, its light (called Hyperion) was ejected and what remained was a black hole called Exodus (which will later become the main antagonist). Basically Paragon's consciousness was split in half between Exodus and Hyperion.

Hyperion, gathering dust and debris left by supernovae created the original sun god "Sennacherib" (this guy). After that, Hyperion created the planet on which the story takes place and the rest of its solar system (hence, the other deities).

Now comes the problem that Exodus is not happy about being left into a literal corpse state and it thinks that if it can absorb Hyperion back, it will become the star it was once before (but it's too late there's no coming back from being a black hole). Therefore Exodus desperately tries to reach the solar system Hyperion created (in the form of dark particles called Miasma that corrupt (rot or turn into monsters) and eat away everything they touch). To defend itself, Hyperion creates beings of lights (an army of angels) whose job is to destroy anything that's been contaminated by that darkness. Hyperion itself turns is busy keep up a barrier that stops Exodus from sending even more miasma (but like, things slip in, and its the angels job to kill those things).

Hyperion especially has ONE angel whose role is not only to manage mortals (like humans and other sentient races) but also to absorb the Miasma inside himself because you cannot get rid of Miasma, you have to put it somewhere. That angel is Lucifer. Lucifer is the strongest of angels, it's said his light was even brighter than the sun itself. And Sennacherib, the sun god, loved him. They were involved romantically.

Unfortunately, after thousands of years, Hyperion senses that Lucifer is reaching its limits and it's going to be problematic if they don't get rid of him soon and send him into the void where he'll cease to exist. He's going to become another Exodus with how much Miasma he's absorbed.

So Hyperion asks Sennacherib to help create a new replacement for Lucifer, one that will be less powerful, easy to kill if things go wrong but still able to absorb as much Miasma. So Sennacherib creates Adramelekh from one of his 6 arms.

The problem is Adramelekh is a body without a soul. It's literally just a pile of light. He asks Lucifer to give him a piece of his soul so he can start from it and create a full person. But he explains that Adramelekh will replace Lucifer as the light bringer. At first Lucifer is perplexed because he doesn't know what will happen to him once Adra replaces him. But he also sees it as creating a child who is the fruit of their love and accepts. The first incarnation of Adramalekh is created. She's mortal but she's not allowed to reincarnate like everyone else due to how much Miasma she absorbs, she will corrupt all the other souls. Instead she's reborn from her ashes like a phoenix every time she dies.

Meanwhile Exodus decides to launch another attack on Hyperion by creating a being of darkness called Death. Death will infiltrate the planet, live there and slowly corrupt everything as to force Hyperion to leave. The plan is to basically plant 3 seeds of chaos into powerful beings that will force weaken Hyperion.

Death plants the first seed, Pestilence, inside Lucifer during a battle. The seed drives Lucifer crazy, he starts questioning everything and eventually finds out Hyperion planned to get rid of him as soon as Adra was ready to replace him and cast him into the void. So he rebels against Hyperion, beings corrupting everything around him, but loses the war. [I have to keep brainstorming what happens to him, but he doesn't die, he's just incapacitated for like 3000 years]. The saddest part was Lucifer didn't become evil of his own, but mostly because he found out he had been betrayed by his loved ones. he still had the mental capacity to fight the seed if it wasn't for that

Later, Death plants War into a character. But that's spoiler and tbh some people who know the story probably know who. War's job is to plunge the world into chaos with constant wars.

But death's ultimate plan is to plant Famine inside Adramelekh and turn her into a black hole that will absorb everything Hyperion created.

In the future the old Sun god is badly injured and he's forced to merge with Adramelekh who then takes his place. The problem is she also loses her sense of identity because her consciousness is confused with his and the many corrupted souls she's absorbed through the millennia.

Now to Anamelekh (who doesn't have human ears like in this pic, i made a mistake).

Ana is a golem created to protect Adramelekh or execute her if she ever becomes evil. I am still brainstorming weather or not Ana used to be human. But basically Anamelekh has known dozens of Adras. They all died young for various reasons (there's one guy who keeps making sure Adramelekh dies as soon as she's reborn). All of them had different personalities, but Ana loved all of them (Well... those that survived long enough).

Except the current one (at first) who seems immature, stubborn and selfish.

Ana will also have to merge with the old moon god and become one too later in the story.

[geostatonary]

What's the relationship between CMWGE, Nobilis, and Glitch? The bits of understanding I think I've picked up so far are that they're all (diceless?) ttrpgs and are in vaguely the same setting but at least one's setting is an AU of another one's? They sound really cool, but really confusing, but really cool despite and/or because of the really confusing, and continuing to just pick up the random bits that tumbl my way is Not Enough. Help?

Okay!

Let's talk a bit about publishing for background

In 1999, Jenna Moran (formerly R. Sean Borgstrom) published the first edition of Nobilis through Pharos Press, resulting in what is often called the "Little Pink Book". This was a small run, and it proved successful/interesting enough to get picked up by Hogshead Publishing in 2002, resulting in the second edition of Nobilis, which is often called the "Great White Book". This is the one a lot of people think about when they think "Nobilis", and really put it on the map in the tabletop gamer consciousness. In 2011, the third edition of Nobilis was released through EOS Press. There was a lot of drama involving the publishers and distributors for the last two editions but that's not relevant to your question. Also, a fourth edition is in the works.

Chuubo's Marvelous Wish-Granting Engine (CMWGE) was released in 2015 after a successful kickstarter, initially through EOS Press and then through Jenna's own efforts and the support of a generous benefactor due to her separating from EOS for some of the aforementioned publisher drama. Its technically a multimedia project that also has two associated novels, The Fable of the Swan (2012) and The Night-Bird's Feather (2022).

Finally, Glitch: A Story of the Not was self published in 2022 after another successful kickstarter. This is the most recent of her games within the collective game line, sometimes referred to as "gluubilis" or "the Ash Tree Engine".

Why'd you tell me all that?

So you'd have context for this.

Mechanically, each of these games represents a development on the preceeding works; every later game iterates and develops on the previous games and concepts. This looks something like this

1e/2e Nobilis > 3e Nobilis > CMWGE > Glitch/4e

in terms of major mechanical divisions and advancements.

All the systems are diceless and there's a lot we could say here, but probably the biggest single innovation would be the introduction of Arcs and Quests starting in CMWGE, providing a strong narrative xp framework for all the future games to engage with and be built around.

In terms of the setting, all the games except CMWGE take place on the Ash-Tree Earth in which the universe is a big tree in a cup of fire that's presently at war with the forces of the Void. Nobilis explores play as the Nobilis, individuals empowered by the rulers of Creation to defend it against the Excrucians, the representatives of the Void. Glitch flips this around and has you play as one of those Void beings who used to fight in the war, but is now abstaining from it for any number of reasons.

CMWGE takes place in a world that was drowned in a sort of ontological uncertainty called the Outside. It's set in a possible future where the war of Nobilis and Glitch doesn't reach a conclusive end, but rather the world was cast into an interregnum during which any number of things are possible and also you can have slice of life adventures and shit. None of that background is actually necessary to know to play CMWGE, but I think it's enriching and also it'll help explain some of the various otherwise insane things we the players and fans will say about it. Again, though, nothing actually like. Holds you to that if you wanna do something of your own. CMWGE is notable for being the most customizable of these systems by far.

What's next?

A couple recommendations!

First, I'd recommend reading some of these games! Glitch and Nobilis 3e are imo the most accessible of the game books + they're ones still in use, but CMWGE is also absolutely worth checking out; just be aware that it's handing you a toolbox, so there's a lot more big chunks of mechanics to work through. Honestly, don't be afraid to skip around these books and look at whatever catches your interest. They're very rewarding reads! If you want to read fiction, The Fable of the Swan and The Night-Bird's Feather are both also really good starting points.

Next, talk with people about them! The scene is kinda scattered, but you can still find people on tumblr, Twitter, and cohost at the very least who're talking about this stuff. There's also an official discord and an older fan discord (you can ask me for an invite to that one) where people are pretty active.

Also, just, try playing the games! A lot of the apparent complications are a lot easier to parse and understand when you actually see them in play, and they're fun games.

Finally, don't be afraid to keep asking questions! Given the chance, a lot of us won't shut up about these games, myself included.

[the-worms-in-your-bones]

tell me about your ocs 🫣🫣 i liste

thank you for unlocking my side quest. this is probably definitely going to be a very long post

okay, so i've got five time lord ocs, but the main one is Fox (short for foxilquinn, because of course i had to give him a weird time lord name)

so he kind of started out as the kid in a doctor/master child au type story, and hes not not that anymore, but also he's got much more lore than just that now

to start off at the beginning he was born (or loomed i should say) on earth during the third doctor's era. i still haven't figured out why or how they had a loom, but they had one. the unfortunate thing for fox is that this loom was mildly broken so that leads to some problems for him (mainly his hair color will stay the same across all regenerations (which isn't really a problem but whatever, and its also where he got his name since the hair color is about the same as the color of a red fox's coat), he doesn't have a typical injury/stress threshold for regeneration, he has to literally be dying or he can't regenerate (this ends up with him losing a leg and an eye during his first regeneration, but it doesn't kill him so he doesn't regenerate from it), and he's really time sensitive to the point that being near anything paradoxical or too out of sync with the time line just kind of makes him pass out)

(also side note, fox is trans, it isn't like a big part of anything but i just like making my characters trans)

anyway when he's like six the cia show up and are like 'hey we're going to take your kid and put him in the academy on gallifrey' and then basically kidnap him. and since he's still got two years before he's initiated into the academy they stick him in the care or brax because a) he's the doctor's brother and therefore closest available family member on gallifrey and b) i thought it would be funny to stick brax with a child, he does not seem qualified for that

fast forward a bit and he's at the academy doing academy stuff. this is mostly uneventful, he does some mischief, but nothing big happens here. he does end up being in like the same year/class as romana though because this is my story and i like romana so she can be in it if i want her to.

after graduating fox steals a tardis and runs away because hes seen what gallifreyan society is like compared to the rest of the universe and he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life in that society not being able to do what he wants.

anyway he kind of just travels around for a while until he one day runs into the doctor and romana and him and romana have a fun little reunion and he travels with them for a while.

after romana returns to gallifrey fox starts sneaking in and out of gallifrey to see romana. this gets a cia agent assigned to his case because he's now a threat to security (he isn't really all that much, his main goals other than seeing romana are to not get arrested and being annoying to gallifreyan government officials that aren't romana). of course this cia agent is narvin because he's one of my favorite time lords so he goes in the story as well

anyway things happen, romana gets captured by the daleks and imprisoned on etra prime. fox goes looking for her, does not succeed but does get blown up and has a building fall on him, resulting in him losing most of his right leg and left eye (also he builds himself a futuristic prosthetic leg and also uses forearm crutches that can fold up really small (like fit in your pocket small) because that's something i desperately want to exist so i'm giving them to him and just calling it time lord technology instead of finding a way for it to make sense) (forearm crutches are so inconvenient to bring anywhere if you're not actively using them and also sometimes when you are)

after romana gets back she gets a bit concerned about fox just running around the universe and getting into dangerous situations because of the events mentioned in the previous paragraph and basically goes 'why don't you teach a class at the academy' so she can make sure hes not out there somewhere getting himself killed

he agrees and ends up teaching a small class of students that (maybe they know this through like matrix prediction or something idk) are all probably going to be renegades. the goal of this class is basically him teaching them how to not die out in the universe (the high council also make the rule that if he's going to be employed on gallifrey he needs to stay there and try to take his tardis from him, but he basically tries to fight them about it (i like to think he tries to bite one of them) and they let him keep his tardis as long as he doesn't go on any unplanned trips)

(there's other stuff about him, like he survives the time war because i don't want to kill him off and theres a few regenerations here and there, but i've already said so much about fox so i'm going to talk about my other ocs now)

the other four are all fox's students who i actually just made up to be placeholder characters for like a scene then i got attatched. they're Azdran, Ensil, Jerex, and Maxin

Az is probably the one i have the most stuff for, they're from the house of oakdown and their parents really want them to be like some kind of politician, but they just want to get off of gallifrey and live a normal life without the expectations of their house behind all their actions. they're nonverbal and use a data pad that they modified as an aac device, this data pad is pretty old and it's a miracle that it still works, but az manages to keep it functioning somehow. they're also the only one of the students that survives the time war, they fall through a rift in time and space opened by the war and end up on earth (something something that rift in cardif)

I honestly don't have much for ensil, hes arcalian (the others are all prydonian) and finds the whole time lord society thing stifling and wants to not deal with that for the rest of his life

Jerex was raised by tardis engineers and likes tardises more than people. he already is bonded to a tardis by the time he enters fox's class and would prefer to spend his days working on upgrading and fixing it rather than having to do classes. if it weren't for the time war getting in the way of things he probably would have just settled himself on a quiet planet with his tardis and helped with repairs on the tardises of renegades who stopped by. i think he still ends up as a tardis engineer/repairer during the war because its what he's good at, but he'd rather not be involved in the war

Last there's Maxin. she's the daughter of maxil and i honestly can't remember if she started out that way or if i made her design and then named her and went 'yeah that could make sense'. anyway because of that she often disregards a lot of rules because her father has like some power and can get her out of things. she also definitely breaks into his office and looks through things she shouldn't be. after the academy she ends up joining the military and pretty quickly climbs the ranks (all of them graduate pretty close to the start of the time war so the gallifreyan military is actually like a relevant thing that does stuff at this point). once the war actually starts though it doesn't take her long to figure out that she a) kind of hates rassilon and thinks he's just making everything worse in some sort of power play against the daleks and b) she can't actually do all that much of what she wants or thinks is best in the military both because of it's structure and because, even despite her rank, she isn't often taken seriously since shes pretty fresh out of the academy, so she defects and starts helping the resistance

[auideas]

Ermmm sorry if this is weird but do u maybe have any like, ““original”” cyberpunk prompts? I want to write something cyberpunk for an au but I just don’t have any ideas right now no matter how long I brainstorm

Exploring Cyberpunk

Cyberpunk is a very unique genre, which is why so many people are both attracted to it and stumped when attempting to develop plots within an unknown world. Think of Black Mirror created by Charlie Brooker (TV show), Blade Runner written by Philip K. Dick (a movie based on the novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, a classic Cyberpunk novel), Altered Carbon by Richard K. Morgan (modern Cyberpunk novel), etc. -- each of these were incredibly influential in their own right, but they all also build their worlds gradually while having a single easy-to-explain concept that can spawn an entire universe. To be more specific, each story establishes an issue created by an advanced society ignorantly abusing technology, then allow their characters to explore that problem and try to find a solution in a manner that isn't explicitly black or white for society as a whole, but every shade of grey.

For Black Mirror, each episode anthologically builds upon a high-tech future within the same universe and explores how its characters interact with problems created by new pieces of said technology, both good and bad.

For Blade Runner, the story establishes that androids seem to be malfunctioning, but the bounty hunter charged with hunting them down discovers that the true issue lies in society's understanding of what it means to be human.

For Altered Carbon, the novel explores the issue derived from the obscene length of time it would take for humans to travel between planets stretched across the universe, then dives into more detail regarding how a solution has been abused.

How to Construct a Cyberpunk Concept

What we'd recommend is to start by asking the right questions and looking in the right places. Black Mirror takes its inspiration from a variety of technology, both new and old; Blade Runner explores the idea of AI and androids during the 80's when robotics was on the forefront of innovation; Altered Carbon took note of our increasing ability to travel in an interstellar fashion, then posed a simple question regarding the limits of humanity (specifically, time).

This may sound strange, but the best thing you can do is seek out trends online and scientific journals about new breakthroughs, then ask questions about what may go wrong. For example, an old post we featured here on AUideas that has since been removed from ~2017 because it's in the process of being developed into a script (sorry guys, our bad!) called Dreamscape Co. uses this exact method. When the prompt was made, Admin M was in the process of reading a scientific journal about how neurologists had been able to project a person's thoughts into an image. Although the technology was rudimentary at the time, Admin M posed the question "if dreams can be viewed, what if dreams can be watched in real time with a high quality image? What if they could be immersive? What would that industry look like? Who would pay how much to see a certain person's dreams?" This spun out into a sweeping cyberpunk mini-series, yet came from a simple news article.

Some Cyberpunk Inspiration

When performing a quick search, some amazing ideas seemed to jump out from technology news headlines these past couple weeks alone:

Ferroelectric Liquid Crystal (FLC) Technology Being Used in 3D Displays

Unlike holograms, this technology uses liquid crystals that exhibit spontaneous polarization, meaning their orientation can be influenced by an electric field. They're high-speed, low-power, and have innumerable applications in the future. So, what could go wrong?

How could this technology impact the medical field? Although this may not be possible, consider what could occur if FLCs were injected into human bodies and influenced by electric fields to perform different tasks and functions, such as replacing an organ, attacking cancer cells, etc. How could such a technology be abused or go wrong? How many could die with a simple pulse, like an EMP?

Real-Life Freeze Ray Technology Created for the US Airforce

This technology hasn't been developed to be used as weaponry, but instead to replace large amounts of coolant that must be used on space and air crafts to prevent the machinery from overheating (coolant is heavy and can reduce efficiency yet is absolutely necessary due to the fact that space is a vacuum and therefore does not cool heat like air would on Earth). This "freeze ray" technology utilizes plasma's strange property that seems to break the second law of thermodynamics: it chills down when touching another object before heating up, which experts have proposed is because it vaporizes the ultra-thin layer of carbon and water on an object upon contact, similar to how water evaporates off your skin when stepping out of a pool. The question must be asked: how could such technology be used for not just utilitarian means, but outside of the Airforce's intentions?

Perhaps the technology could be manipulated and over-chill an aircraft, or otherwise damage internal engineering.

Consider its potential applications here on Earth: what could benefit from being chilled with something light-weight and low-power? How could it be integrated into homes? What could be disastrously destroyed with such technology?

Breakthrough in Enhanced Geothermal Systems Technology May Completely Replace Carbon Energy Sources

Google and Fervo have successfully developed geothermal technology that has increased its efficiency and broke records by changing existing rock formations in the Earth's crust. For a natural geothermal energy system to produce electricity, it has to have the right amount of heat, fluid, and rock permeability -- these Goldilocks conditions can be difficult to find 'in the wild'. However, this new Enhanced Geothermal System (EGS) targets the most-easily found aspect (rocks with high heat) then creates the necessary permeability artificially by drilling to the intended rock formation and injecting fluid to create fractures in the rock, achieving the necessary Goldilocks conditions. Sure, this may be carbon-free energy, but what would happen if this were employed on a mass scale?

When energy is prioritized by a high-tech society over food and water, how could citizens gain access to those resources?

What long-term effects could such a system have on the Earth as a whole? Could the ground become unstable? Maybe earthquakes crumble city after city? Maybe the entire Earth's crust loses its integrity and disintegrates, pulling only a lucky few deep underground and forcing them to survive off the left over fluid injected into the Earth's crust and whatever they can find.

Closing Thoughts

As you can see from above, there's a crazy amount of inspiration that can be drawn from current technology events. What's important to remember is that yes, we've been talking about complicated technology, but only you have to understand how it functions in your universe down to the molecule, not your audience. Deep technology topics can be dry to a certain extent, and over-explaining your world can be damaging to your story. Explanations regarding how technology works in each of the stories we discussed is limited for that same reason (Black Mirror's overarching concepts, specifics about how Blade Runner's Replicant technology are rarely discussed, etc.). Leave some mystery surrounding how your cyberpunk world functions and allow how your characters room to breathe and interact with that world -- it can speak for itself. Your audience may first love the idea behind your story, but what they'll remember and relate to is how your protagonists and antagonists suffer and prevail within your universe.

We hope this answered your question, and feel free to follow up if you'd like some more guidance and advice on how to construct your Cyberpunk story! In addition, feel free to check out our other post which outlines more information on how to build a Cyberpunk world.

Now get to writing, and have an awesome week!

-- Admin M x