#can you tell this is my first time drawing Fiona and Cake?

[vanillabox]

I think they’d be friends

[ask-rp-devra]

A few more days passed, the whole island was preparing to lose two staff members for a short while so ther was a handful of new Pokemon squads on patrols, and a lot of handing over of work to Professor Grey and Pari who were happy to stay behind for the time being. Seeing as the trip to the Crown Tundra area in Galar was looming, peach had put in special permission to bring along Valka, her age and subsequently monstrous skill made her usually unable to travel, trained to a fine point, putting her in a gym battle or a league seemed very unfair, but the locals seemed to think she’d fit the bill, Professor Magnolia had mentioned the abundance of legendary Pokemon in the area, so it would seem wise to take along a Pokemon that was able to hold its own.

With bags packed and bodies in seats the woman and her apprentice began the trip back to Galar, not only to collect more data on the new areas, but also to gather Devra’s team mates up to bring back to the island. The flight back was fine, Peach slept, drooling a bit, legs tucked up in the plane seat, her single Pokemon stashed for the journey, it felt uncomfortable having Valka in her pokeball, it didn’t happen often.

Devra had spent most of her free time packing for the trip, and the rest of it bonding with the two Pokémon she’d be bringing to the tundra. She had to make sure Aliza and her newest Pokémon Coal were strong enough to hold up in the tundra. Fiona helped her load with training her daughter, trusting her human to take care of Aliza but also wanting to make sure she’d be okay too. Now that they were on the plane Devra sat in the window seat, watching the clouds go buy. As they got closer to landing she gently nudged Peach. “Professor? We’re almost there.” She then looked out again, excited to see her mom again, as well as all of her other Pokémon.

Peach grunted, awoke with a jolt, and looked around, dazed and somewhat still very asleep, looking rather disheveled. Drool sticking hair to her face, squinty tired eyes, and a miserable headache. Water and pills as she waited to get the green light to get off the plane, and finally see her partner again, the ball sat in her pocket, in her hand, waiting patiently.

by the time they had disembarked, got their luggage and had caught a flying taxi towards Devra’s home, they had been able to finally take in the scenery, and enjoy the view as they made their way back to postwick, a quiet little town full of wooloo keepers and families.

“you must be happy to get home, see the family, you’re old Pokemon.”

Devra had given the corviknight a warm hello when they were picked up, being familiar with his taxi team. “I’m super excited. I told mom we were coming the other day. I think she’s going to have tea and cake waiting for us. I think you’ll be happy for the tea. She says my Pokémon have all been keeping an eye out for me. I have a feeling there’s going to be a mob when I get of the taxi.” She laughed as she saw her house come into view, here eyes bright and happy.

The pair thanked the taxi driver, and his delightful Pokemon, watching them fly off, leaving them outside a quaint little home, the front door swinging open in haste, a woman stepping out, presumably Devra’s mother? Peach smiled a bit, trying to come off as pleasant, and let Dev take the lead here. In her pocket she could feel the pokeball shake, Val trying to get out.

“not yet bud, let’s just get settled, not long now.” She murmured very quietly, not drawing any attention to herself.

Devra glanced over at Peach, her own poke balls in hand. “You can let her out now Peach. Most of my guys know to be polite around new visitors.” She let out Coal and Aliza, the young ponyta snorting as she was finally able to stretch out. Devra quickly explained things to them before a loud cry was heard from the side of the house. “Oh boy...give me a second.” She got up and quickly put some space between the little group and the hoard of Pokémon coming at her. She soon disappeared in a mass of excited cries, her laugher still being heard.

This was...expected. Peach had caught Devra chatting on her phone across videos to a lot of these Pokemon, all shapes and sizes, so she took a perch on the fence out of the way, and let the mob rush over and get their affection out of their systems. The poor girl within the crowd was far from unhappy about it all, they seemed like relatively well behaved Pokemon. While the ruckus went on, she release her darling fire type, who shook her whole body thoroughly, hating the feel of pokeballs, sending little embers out of her fine fur, before seeing the group, and scaling a tree to be as far out of the way as possible. Peach looked up to her, a small almost unnoticeable grin on her face. “you’re probably right to get some distance, never been one for socialising hey buddy.” She grumbled, folded her legs up under her and sat like a loaf in the tree.

As Devra made her rounds through the mob, four figures bounded over to the grumpy woman. Two of them were applin, both rolling around at her feet. Then a smaller than normal dreepy floating slightly behind the excited little ponyta that stood happily in front of peach.

The quad of new and quite familiar Pokemon approached, Peach for once had no snacks in her pockets, fresh from the airport with its restrictions, she rummaged to no avail.

“ah sorry guys, I normally have snacks on me, I’ll have to go shopping sometime soon.” Instead holding her hand out to see if they wanted to sniff. The applin had her attention in particular, her trip to Galar was cut short due to a medical emergency back at the labs, so she never had a chance to catch any or observe them. “you’re all certainly very strong looking aren’t you.” The ponyta reminded her of home, in a weird way, growing up with the species just being around, she became use to them from an early age, though this youngster was Galarian and very different in appearance.

Devra looked over at peach and grinned, seeing her with four particular Pokémon. She managed to make her way over to the little group, her Gardevoir holding onto her harm as she went. “Looks like you met your surprise.”

“my what?” She was a little dense at times, head empty. By this point they’d gotten a bit closer to her, she had been able to pet them all a little, besides the Dreepy who was a little more shy from the looks of it. Val stayed high up and observed quietly, she was use to sharing her human, this was not new to her.

“Your surprise! You were so excited when you saw the Pokedex entries for applin, and curious about Dreepy. So I thought I’d get you a gift for all the help you’ve given me. The ponyta is kind of a bonus. The dreepy has gotten kind of attached to him, so I don’t think it would be smart to split them up.” She laughed as she was hugged buy the gallede as well, the two obviously fond of their human.

“wow, that’s really thoughtful of you, you know you didn’t have to do all this right? But thank you regardless.” Peach didn’t think she’d be getting a few team mates so fast, some may have to go home for now, they’d be too young for battling in the Crown Tundra just yet. “‘what do you all think then? You want to see if we get along? Don’t have to stick with me if you gave it a try and don’t enjoy it, but it’d be nice to get to know you all a lot more for sure.” She directed her questions to the Pokemon before her, not focusing on the little ghost type too much to not freak them out. It would certainly be nice to have the company, and there was no other fox pokemon so Val wasn’t bothered by their presence at all. With so many around it really felt a bit more like home.

Devra laughed as the applin bounced happily. “Oh don’t you worry. They’ve been super excited to meet you. I’ve been telling all about you and what you do for Pokémon. The dreepy has been excited too, but he’s just a little shy.”

“oh! So you all knew me before I even knew you, well that explains why you all came over so quickly.” The woman laughed a bit, noticing Val descend from the tree behind them, sitting bout a meter back from the others, there was a shimmer you could almost not notice around her, she was putting up a barrier to give herself some space, but seemed rather calm and not at all in discomfort around these new faces. Peach shifted to the side a bit, gesturing to her beloved partner. “well then everyone, meet Valka, she’s...well, family. hopefully you’ll all get along and learn a lot from each other. If you’re worried or want some advice, please ask me or Val and we’ll try to help.” Her attention shifted to the Dreepy who was still hiding a bit behind the Ponyta.

“‘Ah, and don’t worry little guy-“ her eyes glanced about secretively, trying to be a little less scary with her expressions, softening as she whispered a little to him. “‘you and me can be shy together, I’m not great with big crowds or lots of eyes on me either. If you ever think it’s too much for you, you can hide behind me and I’ll scare off whoever’s bothering ya, I’ll be the brave one when you can’t.” She did laugh, this wasn’t the first shy Pokemon she’d had to handle, and they had a lot of love to give normally, just took time to get them comfortable. Her attention now off of him, she let Val so her usual thing, advance to the group, sit in her lap, and discuss with the others, get ting to know them a bit. One applin seemed happy to crawl up onto the professors shoulder, the other wiggling up next to her leg where she sat.

“‘honestly Dev they’re all darlings, I’m sure we’ll all get along great in time.”

She grinned happily as she watched Peach with the little group. “I’m really glad it worked out. I was a little nervous that they still might be too shy. Well, besides the dreepy. Oh!” She dug in her bag and pulled out an odd looking apple. “I almost forgot this! It’s a Sweet Apple. You can use it to evolve one of the applin into an appleton.” There was a happy rumble from behind her as her own Appleton stepped forward. “There’s another apple called a Tart apple that can get you a flapple like mine too. But I haven’t been able to find one yet.”

The mention of the specific fruits found in Galar caught the professors attention, also noticing the big rounded Pokemon approach upon seeing it. The Appleton was actually surprisingly small for a dragon type, shin height, and possibly the cutest looking thing peach had seen in a while. She accepted the fruit thankfully and had to look it over, sniffing it, and all too tempted to take a bite to figure out what it’d be best suited to, from the name, it’d be a really good eating apple, the tart one however would be a cooking sort no doubt.

“ill have to keep my eye out, I must have missed this all last time I was here, good thing you kept your eyes peeled for this.” She let everyone of the new youngsters around her have a chance at looking over the apple too, even Val took a sniff. It was always good to let them see as much of the world as possible, and all the items it contained.

“Maybe one of the pair will like the chance to evolve one day, they’ve probably had time while staying here to meet your pair of Pokemon who chose to evolve, so who knows.” She looked to the two Applin who she had become very fond of quite quickly, they had surprisingly big personalities for such small species, giving each other grief at any given opportunity, like bickering siblings. “they’ll figure it out when they are ready.”

She smiled as she glanced back at the house, waving to her mom as she came to meet them now that the chaos had settled down. “My moms name is Olivia by the way. Not sure if I told you that.”

“you did not.” She said matter of factly, and stood to greet the woman who looked very happy to see her daughter. The woman herself had a fair bit of resemblance to Devra, they shared a few mannerisms too peach noticed while offering a smile and a handshake, which did slightly throw Olivia, she had intended to go for a hug, but saw the social queue and changed it up.

“it’s really nice to meet you, you’re daughters been a real asset out in Johto, you should come and visit her some time perhaps, see what she gets up to.”

Olivia smiles warmly at Peach as she shook hands with her. “It’s wonderful to finally meet you as well Professor. Devra has told me so much about you and the island. I’ll have to make a trip out some time. I’ve been meaning to take a holiday for some time now.” She then turned to her daughter and gave her a massive hug, inviting both of them inside for a rest before they continued their trip.

[fansofvow]

Interview with Eve Golden Woods!

Many of you know who is Eve is. She's a writer and artist, a part of Dreamfeel studios whose beautiful game If Found won Best LGBTQ Narrative and Best LGBTQ Indie game at the first ever Gayming Awards presented by EA games. I am really excited I had the chance to ask Eve some questions about herself, her time at Lovestruck and her creative process.

Congratulations on the two Gayming Awards (Best LGBTQ Narrative, Best LGBTQ Indie Game) for "If Found" from your game studio, Dreamfeel. What was the inspiration behind making the game?

If Found... was a game that emerged out of a collaboration between Llaura McGee, the founder of Dreamfeel, and artist Liadh Young. Liadh's background is as a comic artist, and so when they started working together Llaura had the idea of showing off Liadh's art by making a diary game, and using an erasing mechanic she had previously developed to let the player move through the diary in a fun way. By the time I came on board at the start of 2019, the game had already been in development for a while, so in some ways my work on that game was similar to the work I did for Voltage, because it was taking existing characters and concepts and writing a lot of scripts for them. Unlike Voltage, though, my work for Dreamfeel was a lot more collaborative and I had a lot more creative input. I really enjoy taking something and helping to make it the best version of itself that it can possibly be, but I was also really happy that I got to reflect a lot of my own experiences in If Found. Llaura and I both grew up on the west coast of Ireland, and although If Found... isn't autobiographical for either of us, it was definitely really meaningful to be able to tell a story that reflected our own experiences of growing up as queer teens in a similar kind of environment. Since the game came out we've had fans reach out to us and tell us that they also connected to the experiences of the main characters, and as far as I'm concerned, that makes me feel like I achieved everything I wanted to.

You are a writer and a visual artist. Does one come easier to you than the other?

I used to think of art and writing as talents, and I always felt like my art was at a very mediocre level (that's probably still true, lol). So when I was younger I focused a lot more on writing. It was only later that I started genuinely trying to improve as an artist, but when I did, I think I had a much healthier mindset, and approached it as a skill I could learn with patience and effort. Because of that, even though I still have a lot more confidence in my writing, I find art more fun and relaxing, and I don't stress about it as much.

Did you always know you would follow a creative path?

Kind of? Both my parents are artists, and I grew up surrounded by artists and writers, so it was something that was always very familiar and accessible to me. On the other hand, I didn't exactly have a clear idea of how to make it into a career, or what kind of work would be involved. But there's never been a point in my life where I wasn't doing something creative, even if it was only writing fanfiction.

What did your path to working professionally as a writer/artist look like?

I did a creative writing masters in college, but after that I spent years teaching English as a second language. That was really fun and I got to live abroad, but it was so busy and tiring that I didn't have time to do any writing outside of the occasional fanfic. I only started to take art seriously again when I became interested in games and comics as ways of telling stories. I did some critical writing, which led me to speak at a few local events and get involved in zine fairs. That was how I met Llaura, the director and lead of the Dreamfeel studio, and it's also what gave me the confidence to start applying for actual writing jobs.

Is there any work of art, visual or written, that you look to for inspiration?

So many! I try to read and watch as widely as I can, although there are touchstones I always return to, like the works of Ursula Le Guin and Terry Pratchett. Right now I feel very passionate about the actual play podcast Friends at the Table, which manages to combine really thoughtful worldbuilding and storytelling with cool, fun characters and great action scenes. I'm also reading a book called The Memory Police by Youko Ogawa, which has extremely beautiful prose.

Do you have a favorite piece of your own art, whether it is something you’ve drawn, a screenshot of something you’ve written or something else?

My favourite piece of art is usually whatever I finished most recently (I think that's true for a lot of people). Especially with visual art, once a bit of time has gone by you look back on it and start to notice all your mistakes, which is very annoying. But actually I do still really like the first piece of Fiona fanart I did last year. I managed to use some effects to give it a kind of nineties anime quality that I find really fun, and I think it conveys an emotion pretty effectively. That's always one of the hardest things to predict with visual art, whether the different parts will come together to create the exact mood you're looking for.

I also really like the compass I did for Bycatch. Krissy (@xekstrin) was the one who suggested filling it with fingernails, which was such a good, gross idea! As soon as I heard that I knew it was perfect and that I had to try and draw it.

Many people who read this blog know you as a writer for Lovestruck. When you look back on your time there, what stands out in your mind?

Lovestruck was very important to me when I first started because it was my first ongoing, regular, paid writing work. It gave me a lot of confidence and helped me to get into the habit of writing consistently and rapidly, which is a really useful skill to have. I know I was right to leave when I did, though, because I am just brimming with energy to work on my own projects, and channeling that power into something that you can't control will always end up disappointing you. Also, I made a ton of incredible friends, through Lovestruck itself but then even more so through VOW (@vowtogether), and that is more than worth all the difficult parts.

Is there any character that you would have liked a crack at writing?

Oh gosh, what a fun question! There are so many, but one I do sometimes think about is Axia, just because I know there are a bunch of fans who want her route, and because I had fun writing her as a villain in Zain's route. I can see in my head the shadow of a storyline that takes place after Zain's route is over, where she's in prison and trying to understand how she lost the battle with Zain and MC. I think there's, like, a gap there, where you could see her downfall forcing her to reconsider her assumptions about power, and that could build into a very interesting redemption story. But maybe it's for the best I never got to do that, because I would have wanted full creative control over it, and also I think the story in my head is very different to the sexy, in control, menacing version of Axia that her fans enjoy.

Do you have any upcoming projects you can talk about?

Most of my current work is under NDA, but I will say that I'm doing something very exciting with other VOW members that we should be able to talk about soon(ish). Maybe I can even give a little teaser... It's not a game, but it is something you can read, and my part involves cakes, swamps, and a museum.

Do you have a favorite quote or song lyric?

It's a big long, but there's a section from The Dispossessed by Ursula le Guin that has stayed with me ever since I read it:

"For we each of us deserve everything, every luxury that was ever piled in the tombs of the dead kings, and we each of us deserve nothing, not a mouthful of bread in hunger. Have we not eaten while another starved? Will you punish us for that? Will you reward us for the virtue of starving while others ate? No man earns punishment, no man earns reward. Free your mind of the idea of deserving, the idea of earning, and you will begin to be able to think."

It's such a profoundly radical way of imagining the world, so different to everything I was raised with, but whenever I think about it I feel like I can see something very beautiful and powerful that I hope to come closer to understanding some day.

And of course, "Solidarity forever, the union makes us strong."

I was a big fan of the show Inside the Actor’s Studio. Host James Lipton asked every single guest the same 10 concluding questions. I’ve picked 3 of them:

-What is your favorite word?

My favourite word: for sound, I like words you can really roll around on your tongue. Chthonic, alabaster, insinuation. For meaning, I think simple words that encapsulate big concepts have a kind of power to them. We use them so often we forget how big they are, how much weight they really have, but they give us the space to imagine new possibilities. Love. Freedom. Revolution.

-What is your least favorite word?

I've heard that "moist" is a lot of people's least favourite word but it doesn't actually bother me. My least favourite word is probably one where I feel like the sound doesn't match the meaning. One of the Irish words for rain is báisteach, which I feel has a much weightier and more onomatopoeic sound than rain. Rain is just very flat and uninteresting.

-What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Oh, so many! I love history, and I think being a historian/archaeologist would be fascinating. Or something that had a physical component to it, like being a potter or a carpenter. I don't think I'd be any good, but I'd love to take the time to learn.

What would be your advice to anyone who wants to pursue a creative career?

All the work you do matters. Even the failed experiments, the things you hate when they're finished. It all helps to make you better. Also, creative career paths are often really unexpected, so chase any opportunity that seems remotely interesting. Don't work for free for anyone who can afford to pay, but work for yourself and put it somewhere. On a blog, twitter, whatever. You'd be amazed how many people get noticed and get offered opportunities because of something they made in their spare time. You'll probably have to work another job for a long time, so don't be hard on yourself if you're too tired to devote much energy to creative work. Try to make art consistently, but don't feel like that has to mean every day. Don't chase after celebrities. Make friends with your peers.

[mageicalwishes]

Read on AO3: Here

Rating: Teen And Up 

Summary: "But then, before I even knew what was happening, she was kissing me back. And Crowley, I swear I melted. She tasted of cigarette smoke and spiced rum - Like fire personified.”

Carry On Countdown, Day 6 - WLW (Women Love Women) @carryon-countdown​

Tags: Unrequited Love, Friends With Benefits, Implied Sexual Content (Never Actually Described Though), Pining, Watford Eight Year, Slight Angst, Everyone Is Over 18 Just To Be 1000% Clear, Carry On Countdown 2020 Day 6

Words: 1,580

Ebb

The first time it happened was New Year's Day. We’d stumbled back into our room from our impromptu party on the Lawn with Nicky (After her sister came out and yelled at us), when she suggested that we dance. It was stupid, really - Flinging ourselves about to The Doors, our booze-addled minds incapable of keeping a beat - but it was fun. So fun. She was giggling loudly, spinning me around the room with reckless disregard for our neighbours. And I just couldn’t stop smiling. Everything felt so … big - So light and bold. I didn’t think - I didn’t even know how it happened - I just … did it. 

I’d been thinking about it for months. I’d always known that I liked girls (Well, ever since I figured out what my weird obsession with Kate Bush really was), and then the Crucible went and gave me her. With her copper skin and her salt and pepper waves, that near permanently raised slitted eyebrow; it was impossible not to fall. I’d been infatuated with her since the start, but I’d never actually intended to act on it. I mean, for Merlin’s sake, Ebb, use your brain! But, in that moment, I was drunk enough that I didn’t care to be cautious. I just wanted. I didn’t think about the embarrassment, or the risk, or the rejection. I just thought of her. I let it all go and just did it. I kissed her. Finally.

She stiffened at first, clearly shocked, and my mind snapped back to normality at a sickening pace, desperately trying to recall a memory spell potent enough to erase everything.  But then, before I even knew what was happening, she was kissing me back. And Crowley, I swear I melted. She tasted of cigarette smoke and spiced rum - Like fire personified. And she was so confident with it, working her jaw against mine as she knot her hands in the roots of my hair (I don’t know, maybe she snogged girls all the time. It definitely seemed like she knew what she was doing, and she was always going on about how fit Chrissie Hynde is). Unprepared for reciprocation, I was at a loss. So, I just lay my head back against the wall and let her go - Let her give me everything that I’d been craving. 

And then, as she trailed hot kisses down my neck, she offered me everything - Wrapping her hands around my wrists and tugging them downwards, pressing my palms to the backs of her thighs.

“What do you want?” she’d said, voice low and heady. 

Christ. What did I want? I didn’t even know (Well … I mean, I kind of did, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her, even with all the Whiskey). But she was asking. Her skin was warm and soft and real in my hands, and she was offering it all to me. I could’ve just … taken it. But I didn’t want it to be like that - Blurry eyed and spur of the moment. So I shook my head.

“I do want to. I just … another time? I want - I think that we should wait” 

Taking a step back she’d smiled, soft and uncharacteristically apologetic. “Alright. Another time. Wanna just go to bed? I think I may have had a bit too much, I’ve got a fucking massive headache.”

Truthfully, I didn’t really want to sleep, despite the increasing heaviness of my eyelids. I wanted to go back to dancing - To pretending that everything was normal. I wanted to spend more time with this Fiona. But I agreed.

Yet, despite my woe, when I came back from the bathroom, she was laid out on my bed, boots and jeans still firmly in place. Unsure, I stood frozen in the doorway, staring at the curve of her back against my sheets until she started laughing at me, lifting up the duvet in invitation.

“Come on, Ebby,” she’d teased. “Don’t go all shy on me,”

So … I went for it, slipping into bed beside her and taking her in my arms; drifting into sleep with the taste of fire still heavy on my lips.

I assumed that it would be over after that - Her promise of ‘Another time’ doomed to go undelivered. Just a mad one-off - but, to my surprise, it continued. We weren’t … anything proper, not really (I mean, she didn’t look at me the same way that she looked at Nicky). But it was something. 

Every now and then she’d come into our room with that wicked glint in her eye, and I knew that I was lost. She’d have me boneless, kissing up my thighs and muttering all kinds of wild things into my ear, before I even had time to wrap my head around why. (My mother would’ve be so disappointed if she’d found out what we were up. She’d always said that the ‘Pitch girl’ was a bad influence). But I needed it. I liked it. 

Alas, I couldn’t stop myself from wanting more. From wanting something real. Something more than just … messing about.

She’d never really shown an interest in having a ‘real’ relationship before, always preferring quick, non-committal flings (Half of which were based off of nothing more than the desire to piss off her parents), but for a mad moment, I convinced myself that maybe she’d make an exception for me.

She was always softer with me when we were like that - Holding me tight against her at night, and reassuring me when I thought I was getting things wrong. But, it went beyond that. Even on days when we wouldn’t have our ‘fun’, she’d still sneak into my bed to cuddle, or press kisses to my clammy forehead when I got one of my cursed migraines. It was … strange. It was if, once we opened that door to intimacy, she couldn’t help herself from creeping through it, even in situations where ‘friends’ would almost certainly draw the line. And then … there was my birthday. 

She’d woken me up at the crack of dawn, jumping on my bed, still in her knickers and worn Queen pyjama shirt, shouting about ‘exciting plans’. And then, after breakfast, she’d driven me out into the countryside and led me into a barn filled with goats and sheep, where she’d set us up a little picnic with pizza, and hot chocolate, and strawberries (She’d even gone so far as to bake me a little ginger cake). “I know it smells like shit in here,” she’d said. “But I thought you’d appreciate the company.”

I’ll admit that, in spite of the gesture, I was a little apprehensive at first. But, after she explained that the farm belonged to her ‘Sister’s pet’ (Which I can only assume was the Fiona way of saying ‘husband’), I soon relaxed. And then, it was lovely. 

We danced, and talked, and laughed, and played with the animals (Fi tried to feed a lamb a piece of pepperoni but I managed to convince her not to). She told me all about her new nephew and I told her about the time me and Nicky accidentally turned our nanny blue. It was friendly. It was nice. And then … she kissed me - Unrushed and to no purpose - and it was perfect. 

So, when she finally had to go (Off to her pre-arranged birthday drinks date with Nicky), I couldn’t find it in myself to dampen the day with the appropriate amount of jealousy. Instead, I left floating far above Cloud Nine, that small, nagging part of my mind teasing me with a hopeful ‘What If?’, despite my better judgement. 

Consumed by the prospect of more, a few weeks before the end of term - Before the end of Watford - I bit the bullet and initiated that regrettable ‘What are we?’ conversation. She’d just laughed, like I was being utterly absurd, in her usual, unbothered way and set me straight with a simple “We’re friends, Ebb. Best friends. Don’t stress yourself out by overcomplicating things, it’s just a bit of fun. Relax. Let yourself enjoy it.”

I was in a foul mood for weeks after that. Even though I knew that that’s all it was - That my foolish, growing love could only ever be one-sided - hearing it hit me like a curse. Left me wounded - Bitter, and broken, and bruised. 

She didn’t know, of course - About the depth of my feelings (I guess I wasn’t as unsubtle as I thought, after all). While she may have a bit of a negative reputation, what with her famously short temper and record-breaking list of detentions, Fi wasn’t cruel. Not to me. Never to me. She didn’t say it to be harsh, or to cut me down, she said it because it was true. ‘Just friends’. Only ever ‘Just friends’

Thinking back, I should’ve stopped it right then and there (It would’ve saved me a lot of heartache). But … I couldn’t give her up. Even though the messy, undefined greyness of the ‘relationship’ that we found ourselves in was so far from what I really wanted, I took it all greedily - Our ‘benefits’ my subpar consolation prize. Her distant touch a hollow shadow of what I longed for. Sometimes it felt like it was tearing me to pieces. Sometimes it felt like it was the only thing holding me together. Sometimes it felt like nothing at all. Like I said … Fiona Pitch is fire personified. And I’d let her burn me a thousand times. 

[silyabeeodess]

FusionFall Retro 2019 Holiday Event Fic: Icy Imagery, pt. 2

Previous: https://silyabeeodess.tumblr.com/post/189843252259/fusionfall-retro-2019-holiday-event-fic-icy

The next day—bundled in layers of clothes with a large, black sweater draped over her—Silya marched up the spire to find around a dozen soldiers at one of its lowest bases all gathered by the Ice King’s all but forced invitation.  Everyone had a holstered weapon, but fortunately, the area had already been cleared of Penguin Pests.  The Ice King had manifested a table beforehand, and had laid a small spread of chips, veggies, dip, liters of Super Porp, and what looked like some kind of potato salad, but they were either slushed or frozen by the time anyone got there. Despite this, everyone had one snack or another pushed on them.

Waiting for the last of the stragglers to arrive, Silya sloshed her iced drink around in its cup without taking a sip, not for the first time that day rethinking her decisions in life. She wondered how insane she had to be to let herself get talked into this and whether or not it would amount to anything.  Maybe she’d just spent so much time as one of Dexter’s lab rats that rational thought had abandoned her a long time ago.

Whatever the reason—passion, desperation, or her own madness—there she was, standing in the cold, about to take lessons from a raving lunatic.  Well, at least she wasn’t the only one crazy enough to be there…

Even if only a few others showed up after her.  Their pitiful numbers didn’t deter the wizard: He just glanced them over with a thoughtful pout and affirming nod before deciding to himself that they’d waited long enough. He raised his arms in a calling gesture, “Alright, alright, everybody, settle down.”

No one was saying much to begin with, all dialogue confined to a dull murmur, but they stopped to fire incredulous glances at him all the same.

The Ice King took on an authoritative persona that was almost comical, pacing in front of them as if he were their commander, ready to lead them into battle.  “Now, I’m sure you’re all wondering why I’ve called you here… It’s because your brains are all mush!” He waved his arms at the group. “You’re telling me that you all are capable of drawing from some kind of superpower, but you can’t even use it without a bunch of sciency junk? If it’s imaginary energy, then you should focus on using your imaginations a little.”

“Easier said than done…” someone muttered to Silya’s left.  They were right.  This was just the kind of thing she was worried about.  IE went a lot farther than what the Ice King described—if it didn’t, then it would’ve been seen used in almost every aspect of human life—so, no, just ‘using their imaginations’ wasn’t enough. She glanced back the way she came, already considering her escape.

An uncomfortable silence hung in the air.  Who knew what kind of response he was expecting, but clearly whatever speech the wizard had prepared didn’t go much farther than what he’d already said.  He glanced over the group again, the kind of look of his face that begged for someone else to step in.  When no one did, he held his hands up, “Uh… look, maybe it’d just be easier if I show you.”

A light blue aura shimmered around his fingers, a clear sign to everyone of Ice King’s elemental magic. Some recoiled instinctively, hands lingering by their sheathes and holsters. Instead of directing it at anyone there, however, Ice King instead aimed for the ground.  The magic scattered at their feet, manifesting in crackling icy, geometric patterns.  Then it swarmed around them, a cold chill pouring over them like a sudden, snowy blast of air.  Silya shielded her face from the winds with one arm, reaching for her sword with her free hand in case a stray bolt of ice trapped her legs.

Despite the Ice King’s bad history of encasing people in ice, however, none of them were harmed. Instead, the frosty cloud distorted their surroundings into some kind of strange, starry void washed in shades of green. The spire was gone and they were left hovering in the air.  A mix of excitement and panic took over the group.

“What is this? Where are we?!”

“Is this some kind of imaginary world?”

“It can’t be.  I’m checking the readings now, but I’m only picking up low traces of IE.”

Silya said nothing, taking it all in.  There was no way this could be an imaginary world.  Not that she’d ever had the chance to explore one herself, but no one could just summon one up like that!  Besides, it didn’t look like much of any kind she’d seen from the reports about them: They were always spawned with some kind of wonderland-like element to them. There was nothing here.  Nothing besides them…

Her eyes fell on the Ice King as their brief talk from yesterday entered her mind.  Sure enough, he called them back to attention with a proud grin on his face, “Fellas, you’re in my imagination zone!  Pretty cool, right?” He wiggled his brows. “It’s like a mindscape where anything goes.  Even Finn’s got one of these—and he’s got the imagination of a missing sock!”

“Mindscape?” a young man echoed to her right.  

Were they all currently somehow connected to the Ice King’s thoughts then?  Like some form of telepathy? She grimaced, unsure of how comfortable she actually was with that…

“Yeah, everyone’s got one they can go to.  Or should, I mean, I guess you shmoes never figured that out.  But that’s about to change.”  The Ice King hunted through his robes until he withdrew a worn, ruddy blue book.  “You guys read my fanfiction, right?  Since the ideas are all written out for you, it shouldn’t be a problem bringing Fiona and Cake and the rest into the world.”

Caught between a mix of irritation and guilt, Silya didn’t know what to feel worse.  Did he make us come here just to see if we could bring his fanfiction to life?  It didn’t exactly surprise her: Of course there was a catch.  There was always something like this no matter what villain joined the Fusion Fighters.  On the other hand, he had such an eager, puppy-like expression on his face that she felt bad for him.  She bit her lower lip.  While she didn’t have the hurt to dump her copy, she’d buried that brick of text somewhere so deep into her storage bank she didn’t even know where to find it without combing through everything.  

One look at the others told her that none of them had read it either.  Few of them answered him, and the ones that did had some excuse or another:

“I’ve been fighting fusion monsters, so I haven’t really gotten a chance to sit down with it…”

“Y-yeah! A-and it’d be a shame to rush through the story: It’s so… detailed.”

Miraculously, it worked, although the wizard still seemed disappointed.  He lowered the book, muttering a faint ‘oh,’ before a sudden anger took over him directed at no one in particular. “Well, this was a waste of time!”  The charge of emotion came and went, replaced with an excited smile, “Oh wait!  I can just read some of the good parts aloud right here then!  Makes sense, since it’ll keep us all on the same page.”

This time, at last, Silya finally interjected, raising her voice as a look of dread passed over the soldiers, “I think we’re good, Ice King.”  Caught under his curious stare, she thought up something quick, “Think about it: No one’s gonna know your characters quite like you do anyway, so even if we managed to create them, they wouldn’t exactly be the same.”  

She wasn’t lying: It was a case that happened all the time with imaginary friends.  People had their own needs, desires, and impressions, and those things always imprinted on imaginary beings.  It was even the case with their nanos, who took traits from themselves as often as they did their original counterparts.    

“Artistic interpretation and all…” she finished, scratching the back of her head.  “So, if you want to see Fionna and Cake, don’t you want them to be just like you’ve written them?”

He stared at her hard for a long moment—so long that she wondered if he’d snap again—but instead his expression turned a little sad and he dropped his gaze to the book in his hands with a casual shrug.  “Yeah, sure, but I tried all that before.  Even kidnapped some buddies of mine to find a life-giving mage to do it, but it didn’t work.  Took forever to write all the stories again after that…”

She wasn’t even going to ask: Somehow, she just knew that they and the Ice King had extremely different ideas about “buddies.”  However, it gave her an idea for how they all could get what they wanted.  “How about a trade then?  There this place called Fosters’ that specializes in imaginary friends. They might be able to help out.   You show us how to enter our own imaginary zones and we’ll get you in contact Fosters’.”      

Silya could feel the eyes drilling into the back of her skull from her fellow soldiers.  They could judge her all they wanted.  Frankie would probably kill her for passing the Ice King along like this, but after all the times she’d had to look after Cheese in the Darklands, the young woman felt that turnabout was fair play.  If this was their chance of getting one step closer to mastering IE, then it was worth it: He could make an army of Fionnas for all she cared.

Before she could get an answer though, one of the other Fusion Fighters spoke up, “Wait… If this is a mindscape, then what about our physical bodies?”

The area went so silent that you could hear a pin drop.  All heads turned to them, eyes wide with growing realization.  The wizard answered somewhat dismissively, “Duh, this is an imagination zone: It’s not like I could bring those here.  You’re lucky I was able to get everyone here at all.  I never tried it with so many people.”

“But if we’re all here, then who’s watching our backs in the real world?!”

Continued through the following fic... 

[imperiusv]

I - Oh, I just died in your arms tonight

I think it was during that damned pub crawl , that i first thought of you in that way, we were kinda organizing it, if i remember correctly, i was with all my gang and Dilara too and at the time i was into her, we were flirting back and forth , but i didn’t want to make a move on her, because i was insecure , that she won’t like the real me, being so fragile at the moment, I thought to myself i wouldn’t want anything like that to fuck me up even more, I needed more time to heal and develop, so yeah for the first time in my life, I ignored and rejected  someone who had more sexual  market value than me, it was really fun, as she wanted , but yeah that’s whole different story, so back to the pub crawl, I was with Dilara the whole evening, we even got tied up in that game, but the conversation was kinda boring and stale , so I quickly proceeded to get wasted, to make her more interesting, all my squad was there too, except for the germans and i think Key didn’t come,as they had gone to the one before. It was a really good night, before i got drunk as fuck, but that evening i noticed you and was the first time  me thinking that you are actually kinda cool and cute. Funny enough you introduced me to Baptiste that evening,strangely for a person that remembers everything, this is something i can not recall even to this day. Halloween was  quite a special day for me  on that day I finally came to accepted that  i had a crush on you . That’s why my ringtone for you was that ariana grande song you hated, focus, because I finally focused on you, that you are something special, a fucked up girl I thought I could fix and in fixing her, perhaps mend my own wounds and fix myself, never have I been so wrong. I did save you from the Pit, pulled you out at the cost or my very soul, you of course repaid me in kind , I traded my freedom and who I was for you. A mistake I will never forget or forgive myself for.  It was a really posh evening , you making my make up and stuff, me making dumb jokes, cuz i didn’t know how to act around you, it was all really cute, i didn’t even realize it at the time,when we went to Indie, we all had a good time, that turkish/french girl wanted to fuck both me and Timur, but he pussied out in the last second and we didn’t have a threesome that time , which sucked, cuz she was really hot that evening and probably things between us would have been different, imagine how something so small can change a lot of stuff down the line, everything has consequences that ripple in time and change your world. We went to shots after the party, I didn’t want to spend money in the centre, as i was already spending most of my cash on booze and other dumb shit, that winter semester i spend more than five thousand bucks on booze,parties and having fun, all the hard earned cash i got in Germany, also i prefer your company rather than being with the others, which worked out great , as we clicked and had always a good time when it was just us. We tried that stupid weird game as i wanted to challenge you to do something with me, but we were too wasted and the music was too loud to hear one another, funny thing that the entire evening the slovaks were stalking us and later she was complaining.  The next big episode was the famous couples party that we hosted together for sure, we arrived for our own party fucking wasted, as you even recorded in your diary, by that time i was already really hooked into you, after the traffic lights and Halloween party,  I remember at that bloody party , that i was looking so desperately for your match , the whole kissing thing - to find your famous partner ( Shrek and Fiona,Cleopatra and Mark Anthony) i invented for you, but unlike the next such party, i didn’t have full access nor control over the drawing of the numbers, the next one was rigged af, never told you that , but i hooked up more people than Cupidonis himself. Imagine my surprise when you kissed some stranger, it was disgusting, but my fault entirely. After that i saw you kissing Alfredo in the bathroom,my heart sunk and i went outside to drown my sorrows in the vodka bottle we had hidden in the bushes, thank God for Timur. The next couple of parties you didn’t come of course - the mustache and nerds/hipsters bullshit, there was this thing with Antonio and you blowing me off , cuz i was a dick, but who cares, btw i really wrote him last year out of desperation to reach out to you in some manner to see if you still care,the fact that he didn’t even bother to reply, proves what kinda of scumbag shitty slug he is - a disgusting spineless person and a liar, he never fucking came close to kissing Justyna , let alone banging her,what a sad joke that fat wanker was and still is! So yeah through malus I managed to get you to come to the preparty at Etienne’s place for the i think it was a bad taste party or some other shit. It was such a great evening, that you ruined or I ruined , idk who is to blame, me having feelings for you or you being a slut. The whole squad was present, even fucking Pierre came , it was glorious , a night full of booze, laughs and good times, until you decided to make out with Alfredo again in front of everybody and more especially me , even after i tried to stop it from happening, I remember you said that he kissed you and you didn’t want to. but i was too wasted to remember, so yeah i was rage incarnate, damn I had so much fucking anger in my during those months and the ones after, it was like I can’t even comprehend now how can someone be some enraged all the time,i was never calm , just a whirlwind of emotions , a tornado and a volcano in one, losing complete control over the slightest of mishaps happening , i really had no control over myself back then, but yeah  , praise the Emperor, that Timur saw what I was about to do and stopped me on time, or i was gonna make an even bigger fool out of my self , punching that smug Italian faggot in the face for something that was not his fault. I ended up with Dilara in Blackroom ,but she didn’t want to play second guitar and i wasn’t in the mood to even talk to her, so she went home with some guy and as I was drinking outside, minding my own business, trying to make sense of it all, guess who came crying. You were really upset and embraced me and cried,never felt so low as you told me why you were crying, i couldn’t hold it any on and added gasoline to the fire, by confessing my feelings for you, such a beta move that was, what was I thinking or drinking. Couple of days of drama and then came my birthday, to which you actually came and brought me a cake, it was one of the sweetest things someone has ever done for me,at that time we were already good friend and texting back and forth all the time , even before we were together we had around 500 000 messages between us, which i do not know how it’s even possible. But yeah the first birthday party, it was all good, until you pulled out a Victoria and vanished on me, again i was left with a thumb in my mouth, looking like a fool. The second Birthday party  was actually Timur, Ouriel and mine’s , we did it cuz we wanted to get wasted and i didn’t want to celebrate together with them, as my redneck friends didn’t like Erasmus people and Timur needed a reason to get wasted then and on the first of December which is his actually birthday, so  technically only Pussiel’s , but yeah whatever. It was  in Yavuz’s place you didn’t want to come , but we managed to get you there , you and your green umbrella - weeks of flirtations and tension building up to the event, finally shit was going down. The party was wild, around 40 people in a top floor flat , we had hit up a casino with Timur on the days prior and had won some good money , we bought so much booze and even a disco ball , also got some amateur DJ to play EDM. I was trying to avoid you, but then you  came to me and we started talking. Soon i went from golden to drunk, and being wasted, i let go of all the dumb things that held me back , like what would people say and how will everyone react i was finally brave enough . As i looked deep into your eyes , i remember how you  bit your lips and said this will ruin everything. And it did. I took your face into my hands and                                                    Ausculor we made out probably for a good two- three minutes. But at the same time it felt like eternity and few seconds, i couldn’t really tell, my dopamine and Oxytocin receptors were exploding Inside my brain, i felt like i was high, better than cocaine, booze or whatever, we connected, body mind and soul. Release. My knees were soft , i was euphoric , literally felt like the best thing ever. You just had kissed me. As i want to end up every story with something positive i will end  it here. The next one will continue right off the bat from this one and will cover up the next couple of months as they were crucial  for the whole story. It must’ve been something you said I just died in your arms tonight It must’ve been some kind of kiss I should’ve walked away, I should’ve walked away

[lesbianstarlightglimmer]

2, 4, 5, 6, 10, 22, 35, 47, 48, 53, 54, 56, 64, 66, 74, 79, 80, 90, 91, 104, 111, 117, 130, 134, 153 (omg, this is the most questions i have ever sent to anyone... there were so many good ones tho!!! uhhh, definitely take your time with this one.... i mean, always take your time to answer, but ESPECIALLY this one. if there is anything u can’t or don’t want to answer dw!!! ; w ; )

2 What’s your dream pet(Real or not)? Ik these are super bad to haveas pets bc they’re not made to be pets but god I’d love a fennec fox. Ik I canget one legally in state but its very not good to have exotic pets like thatlol.

4 What was your favoritevideo game growing up? I didn’t start playing Pokemon until middle school (like whenever blackcame out) but in elementary school I loved playing nintendogs and Mario kart onmy ds!

5: What three things/peopledo you think of most each day? 1. “ugh I should just skip class today except I shouldn’t but thenagain-“ 2 ex friends unfortunately and 3. My current friends and how theyre doing today

6: If you had a warninglabel, what would yours say? “WARNING: Don’t piss off”

22 Pet peeves? God a lot…the ones I can thinkof off the top of my head are: people talking over each other/interrupting andpeople who park SUPER badly and thus affect the rest of the parking lot/garage.

35 Where would you like totravel and/or live? Somewhere mountainous with lots of trees! While I liked going to NY fora trip, I doubt id wanna live there. Also someplace not super conservativewould be nice too.

47 What is a sound youreally hate? Tbh any noise my brother makes. He transitions to different ones everyso often. Once he had a toy from burger king that was lisa from the simpsonsthat would say ‘we gotta save springfield!’ and he knew it annoyed me and mybrother so hed hit the button over and over. He likes finding out what noisespiss us off the most and does it until he moves onto the next one. Also there’sa kit kat commercial on tv rn I loathe bc of the song on it idk! I hate it!

48 A sound you really love? Rain, cat noises, tbh most noisesfrom nature

53 How are you feeling rightnow? Tired haha

54: What color would youlike your hair to be right now? Anything pastel tbh!

56 Something that calms youdown? Fireball (my cat)or writing/drawing

64 Favorite animal(s): can’t answer this one bc Ilove all animals

66 Favorite emoticon: >⋮3c

74 What is one random butinteresting fact about yourself? I used to be able to quote the entire first two episodes of Fiona andCake from Adventure Time. Like I could recite everything and see it happeningin my brain. which is weird since i dont watch AT but i liked f&c for some reason. (idk I struggled with this one haha)

79 Something you wish didn’texist: I mean on aserious note stuff like racism, homo/transphobia, sexism, etc. on a lessserious note I wish trucks didn’t fucking exist outside of farms. Why the fuckdo you need a truck. you aint carrying shit. Fuck your truck. 

80 Something you wish didexist: myyyy self-insertstories bc it’d make all lives very interesting lemme tell ya.

90: If you were an animal,which one would you be? A ruddy somali cat no doubt no doubt

91: If a flower couldaesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? Idk any that exist rn butsomething neon colored that opens at night.

104 What is your favoritemineral or gem? Opals are so pretty I haven’t found one I haven’t liked!

111 A question you hatebeing asked? “What are you going to do with a Professional Writing™ degree?” Aaand“Any cute guys at college/got a boyfriend?”

117 What color do you wishthe sky was? Tbhhh I wouldn’t mind a starry sky lol. Pink sky would be nice too.

130 Who would you like topunch in the face right now? Probably my gma for her insensitive question about when we were gonnareplace Jewel not even a week after she died.

134 Do you like rollercoasters? HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!

153 How did you meet yourspouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? We’ve actually known each other since elementary school! The only schoolwe haven’t gone together was college and she didn’t go to the first elementaryschool I went to (the elementary schools in my town are split into elementaryand intermediate where elementary was pre-k through 3rd grade andthen intermediate was 4th through 6th. However theychanged the grades when we were going into 6th grade so we werethrust into middle school instead of staying one more year at the intermediateschool. She went to intermediate w/me)

Thanks for the ask!!

[carryonchristmas]

Christmas in Great Britain

So I’m not a Brit but Simon Snow is and since I’m trying to host a Christmas party that is literally titled “Christmas with Simon Snow” I decided that I had to do some research on British Christmas traditions before starting any of my projects because otherwise, the whole thing would be pointless. After taking notes from various sites I also remembered, that a lot of Snowflakes aren't British either and therefore I decided to share my research results on here, so that you have a quick and short sum-up of Christmas in Britain, that will help you with writing fanfiction, creating fanart and whatever else you are doing in preparation for the Christmas party!

So this post has two parts: First I will focus on general traditions and then I will talk about food because if Simon Snow is involved you can't skip the food part. Depending on where you live, some of these things may seem familiar to you. 

In Britain, it is common to visit (or partake in) Nativity plays before Christmas. It's basically a retelling of the original Christmas story and even though it is very unlikely that something like this will take place at Watford or in any of the families featured in the book, I could imagine, that Simon was part of quite a few nativity plays before he started spending Christmas with the Wellbeloves. Maybe the child care homes he lived in even created their own plays to raise money for the homes to be able to afford food, clothes etc. 

Another Holiday tradition is sending out Christmas cards, it's a pretty global phenomenon, so I don't think I need to elaborate on that - I just want to add, that a Christmas card can make a nice (party) gift as well. Pick a nice card, imagine yourself as one of the characters (or as yourself) and write a nice card to another character or to the fandom, then post it on Tumblr. Of course, you can do the entire thing digitally, you don't have to buy a real card, but I'd love to see some Christmas cards during the party and maybe so do you.

Carol services are yet another common tradition that is self-explanatory - for the Christmas party maybe you could record yourself singing a carol or even create your own, Carry On related, version of a carol. (Or write your own song, that would be so cool!)

The most cliché thing that I can think of talking about British Christmas is for some reason Christmas crackers. If you've never heard of them: they are basically giant bonbons that you can pull at both ends (most times it takes two to make it pop) and once the thing exploded you get a colourful (paper) party crown, a small toy or a little gift and a festive joke. (Picture below) Just imagine Snowbaz in that situation, or, for example, Nicky, Ebb and Fiona. Write about it. Sing about it. Create some funny jokes. Draw it maybe - the opportunities are endless!

One of the things Brits do, according to my research, is listening to the Queen's speech during or after Christmas dinner on Christmas day - it is even mentioned in Carry On when Penny challenges Simon to imagine listening to the Queen's speech with the Mage on Christmas day. There are definitely plenty of things that can evolve starting with the speech. As a kind commenter informed, obviously republicans donot listen to the Queen’s speech, so please be careful with that!

Talking food: The one mandatory thing seems to be Christmas cake that is eaten somewhere throughout the holiday season, for the rest, there is a general concept with plenty of options which you can see in the list below. If you are looking for some great recipes, check out this link: The Spruce  Maybe you could make your own, Carry On themed, Christmas dinner?

As far as I know you can choose from the various options and create your own meal, for a Carry On reference you can also check out my Carry On food post, in which I listed all the food mentioned in Carry On including the Christmas Eve dinner of Baz’s family - they are having chestnut stuffing, turkey roast, bacon and lashings of gravy or at least, that’s what Simon tells us.

I hope you enjoyed this post and are as excited for the Christmas party as I am! If there are any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them immediately. 

[reactingtosomething]

Reacting to Sweet/Vicious

Part I: Remember Fondly When 4th Meals Were a Thing and Breakfast at Night Reigned Supreme

The Setup: It started, as much does, with a tweet. That tweet was followed, as many are, by regret. Fortunately, Jennifer Kaytin Robinson is a generous sort.

Robinson’s glorious but short-lived vigilante dramedy Sweet/Vicious was always on the list of candidates for an all-hands Reaction -- Miri started watching a day or two after Kris did, back in the fall, so Liz and Marchae added it to their (lengthy) to-watch lists -- but we didn’t put a timetable on it until our loyal reader @crazyhannibalthedaisiesslayer suggested it.

In this post (and its continuation, on Friday), we cover the first three episodes: “The Blueprint,” “The Writing’s on the Wall,” and “Sucker,” and many thoughts and feelings about campus sexual violence and related topics.

LIZ: First thing: I only had time to watch the first 3 episodes, although I wish I’d been able to see more!

Kris you here?

MIRI: Ok, that’s how many I rewetted!

MARCHAE: I watched 4

KRIS: GOSH DARN IT

MIRI: DAMMIT rewatched 

hahahahahha insert gif here

So, Liz and Marchae, what did you think????

MARCHAE: It is oddly addicting

KRIS: Why oddly?

MARCHAE: I think because I used to work in student affairs and dealt with some of the scenarios so in that way it is weird to see a comedy/drama of this topic

LIZ: I am IN LOVE. I thought episode one was amazing and I am pretty much hooked. I am here for the message and the premise and i think every college campus needs these 2 ladies!

MARCHAE: however the characters are 100% engaging and you want them to win so hard...

I called my mom after episode one and was like should i feel bad for wanting to see the guys get beat up

LIZ: The way they show the victims of sexual assault and discuss their stories is just so real even though the show suspends our disbelief in other ways so much

MIRI:  Marchae, I don’t think you should feel bad

How do you feel about how stylized it is? I love it, but I feel like it’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea

LIZ:  Rapists who are getting away with it 100% and ruining their victims lives? no I would not feel bad

KRIS: When I first saw trailers for it (while my old roommates watched MTV reality shows) I was like oh, man, I don’t know, this seems like it might be trashy and exploitative

MARCHAE:  I do agree Lizzie... it’s weird because my brain wants this to be a straight drama

yet i am oddly satisfied with the moments of comedic relief

LIZ: I didn’t think the stylization was OVER THE TOP

MIRI: Yeah, it’s a hard show to sell but SO GOOD

LIZ: theres a lot of comedy

MIRI: I think it all works together beautifully

LIZ: agreed

I was pretty much in love

KRIS: I was almost upset at how good it was

MIRI: For me, the cold open of ep one says it all

KRIS: I had to text Miri immediately

LIZ: and then they were singing defying gravity in the car and i was like

KRIS: THERE’S A LEVERAGE WRITER

MIRI: You were definitely upset

KRIS: THE EMOTIONAL CLIMAX IS A WICKED SINGALONG

MIRI: THERE IS???

LIZ: yeah

like

MIRI: WHo?

KRIS: BRANDON MYCHAL SMITH FROM YOU’RE THE WORST

M Scott Veach

MIRI: Cool!

LIZ: oh end of sentence about defying gravity.. i felt like the show understood my soul

MIRI: Moment of appreciation for Brandon Mychal Smith playing SUCH a different type of comedy equally well

LIZ: ALSO.. it takes a certain type of weird ass show for all 4 of us to be VERY on board.. and I also like that about it

KRIS: He’s one of the only men who can say the word “bitch” and not make me a little uncomfortable

MIRI: True!

hahahahaha

LIZ: Is that Harris?

MIRI: Yes!

KRIS: Yeah

LIZ: I LOVE HIM

MIRI: Yay!

KRIS: One of the reasons I really wanted us to do 3 episodes was so you could see the start of his thing with Fiona

LIZ: What do you think about that?

MIRI: Is that the sorority girl?

KRIS: I like it!

Lemon as the one of us with the most first-hand sorority expertise what’s your general sense of the Zeta dynamic?

LIZ: I identify with the sorority characters who are actually smarter and much more .. defined as human beings than most would give them credit for or that they initially come off as

KRIS: (Harris gets crystallized so instantly with the line “I’m not saying I have sexual dreams about Ruth Bader Ginsberg... but I’m also not saying I don’t”)

LIZ: I mean.. I had several (male) friends and family members say to me when I joined my very small.. one of a kind local sorority.. “oh so you’re a sorostitute?”

MIRI: SUCH A LINE

LIZ: Yes i have a note about the RBG line

MIRI: UM that’s horrible and fuck them

LIZ: right, but that kind of mentality and characterization of college aged women who are friends with other women in the form of a sorority is so widespread

MIRI: The pilot honestly does SO much to characterize Jules, Ophelia, and Harris so quickly

KRIS: I do really like how they initially lean into the less generous expectations about sororities and then flesh out I think all of those characters in great ways

Mackenzie was a sleeper favorite for me

(the anxious redhead safety chair)

LIZ: this gives them facets.. like fuck what you thought about me and also.. I don’t have to not like to do my makeup or sometimes dress up for me to be a smart or valid female.

MIRI: I feel like Kennedy takes a little longer, but not in a bad way

Liz, you are amazing and I love you

LIZ: i don’t know many shows that give girls that kind of credit.. very legally blonde of this show..except Elle Woods was the exception there

MARCHAE: They have to save Kennedy (I say this not Having seen more than 4 epi)

KRIS: You will be pleased

MIRI: Definitely

LIZ: Visually, I am impressed with the shows set designs, makeup, and wardrobe

MARCHAE: I feel like they have to hold her close because of nick and Jules 

LIZ: hold who close?

oh kennedy

MARCHAE: (Also back to thumbs on the phone)

KRIS: I LOVE the world-building, especially on what I assume is a pretty small budget

MIRI: I do love her moment when Ophelia tells her she has a very calming presence and she’s just like “I know"

LIZ: yeah i am also worried about her

KRIS: Lemon talk about makeup

MIRI: Yeah!

LIZ: ITS EXPENSIVE

KRIS: (please)

LIZ: what else?

oh as far as this show is concerned

MIRI: yes, world building 

LIZ: Jules and Ophelia (yes to the names btw)

have such amazing looks and their hair is bouncy like they are comic book drawings, but their makeup isn’t like that (bc that would be fucking bizarre) and I love how the fresh rosy-cheeked and bright eyed look of Jules is enhanced with her makeup and Ophelia’s brows and eye makeup are dark and defined/ grungy at times, but she is also kind of sweet because they don’t cake her up or give her a heavy lip.. idk if that makes sense to anyone else

their eyes are so expressive as actresses

and then they’re important because of the ninja outfits

MIRI: That all makes sense to me and I would never have thought of it at all

KRIS: it is right on the edge of my comprehension

MIRI: Sidebar: SUPER excited for you to see more Orphan Black and discuss that makeup

LIZ: but I am pleased with the fine line between real world and cartoonish that the MUA on this show kind of stride beautifully to give them unique looks that foil one another and bring out their strengths and sometimes their faults

KRIS: Ophelia I think I understand best in this context

MARCHAE: YESS LIZ!!!

I do want to ask a question

LIZ: It is more subtle with Jules, because she is made to look more fresh, but I mean everyone on any show has lots of makeup on

ok done w makeup ranting/ observing

MIRI: What’s up, Marchae?

MARCHAE: *sorry liz...go on***

LIZ: oh no thats pretty much it

are you getting things in real time marchae? (with your computer)

MARCHAE: I wanted to chime in about wardrobe because it’s super similar to the way in which makeup is handled... and you definitely know who these people are and the kind of persons that this show is trying to share

MIRI: Ooh, please do!

LIZ: oh yes, the wardrobe feels almost theater like to me.. do you agree or am i wrong

MARCHAE: ( It was touch and go for a moment but me and my thumbs are finally #winning on the computer... I couldn’t take the tiny keyboard anymore)

LIZ: bless you for trying

MIRI: I never really notice Ophelia’s wardrobe that much, but the props they have for her are iconic and say so much

MARCHAE: I think it does... the show feels VERY comicbook-esq like I mentioned it reminds me very much in aesthetics to deadly class and there is another comic that focuses on a high school that I’m blanking on

LIZ: was this ever a graphic novel or comic book?

MARCHAE: but you get a lot in terms of wardrobe via colors that they use for these characters... Ophelia is almost always in darks, Jules in pinks and pastels

I quick checked and didn’t see it

KRIS: it was original to Jenn Kaytin Robinson

I mean she did a shit ton of research, and the producers watched The Hunting Ground and stuff

LIZ: nice..and yes I agree with the colors

MARCHAE: But these choices are interesting because they are almost opposite to the characters we meet in the show

LIZ: and the fact that Jules keeps her identity even as a vigilante with her pink backpack

MARCHAE: so Jules we meet as the original vigilante and she’s the one in the brightest colors ALWAYS in the show

LIZ: and then Ophelia has that car!

MARCHAE: that backpack is definitely our hint

MIRI: Because she’s trying SO hard to still be that girl

KRIS: Oh that’s so interesting. Jules is super dark and “damaged” and Ophelia’s ultimately a sweetheart.

MARCHAE: and Ophelia is always in darks

LIZ: right!?

MARCHAE: **taps nose at kris**

MIRI: I like that even when they put Jules in the Spitters are Quitters shirt, it’s light colored

MARCHAE: so its totally the opposite of what we see

in terms of how they are portrayed in their “normal life”

any who enough of my rant

LIZ: I find Ophelia to be much more innocent.. not because of being sexually assaulted, but because she is kind of playing catch up and barfs when she kills a guy and Jules obviously took this mission upon herself to become a kick ass fighter and to start doing something

MARCHAE: liz i absolutely agree

ophelia definitely the more innocent seeming of the two

KRIS: Ophelia’s so fucking great

MIRI: Yeah, Ophelia thinks of herself as So Hardcore but is basically a sweet 19 yr old with some abandonment issues

I love her

MARCHAE: and she tells you as much in her dialogue

LIZ: I love her!

MARCHAE: some is an understatement miri

KRIS: I loved the vomiting and I don’t even know why

MARCHAE: she has ALL the abandonment issues

LIZ: i loved that it was pink

MIRI: Because it’s pink!

KRIS: I guess the unexplained pink?

MARCHAE: the vomiting is AMAZINNNGNGGGGGGGGG

LIZ: yes

MIRI: It’s absurd and so totally the show

LIZ: hahahha

KRIS: wow we are ALL on a wavelength tonight

MIRI: But it is!

LIZ: like.. I don’t need to see chunky soup barf

i get it

MIRI: The show is 100% going to show you the puking

MARCHAE: i usually don’t want to see it at all period ever

but it works for the show

MIRI: But it’s also going to make it funny and stylized

MARCHAE: and that character as kind of a she seems hard core but is not!

OH OH

KRIS: LeBong James

MIRI: YES

MARCHAE: so my question and this was a thing that kind of made me curious

LEBONGGGGG

MIRI: She’s a nerd ❤️ 

LIZ: There is a lot of suspension of disbelief in this show.. not bc girls can’t fight injustices, but because of how they  should’ve gotten caught and how Ophelias mad hacker skills save the day alot

LEBONNNGGGGGGG

MIRI: I feel weird being the only one who hasn’t said LeBong

MARCHAE: (THEY MURDERED SOMEONE CLUMSILY AND CHICA BARFED ALL OVER THE SCENE!!!!DNA MUCH)

there it goes

LIZ: Also the male assailants aren’t even cookie cutter like on other shows or movies

MIRI: I KNOW BUT JUST GO WITH IT

KRIS: Without spoiling anything I’ll say they’re generally really good about chickens coming home to roost

Maybe not DNA specifically? But the show is serious about Consequences

MARCHAE: so question... what institution do they go to where there is an assult like every freaking second

LIZ: they are all different and some are even charming (most are) and they have different personalities and hobbies.. like Nate is acting like a really good boyfriend to Kennedy so if we didn’t know what he’s capable of, we’d forgive his jerk reaction to her missing his football thing bc of his super sweet apology

MIRI: Well, it’s Darlington University, right?

KRIS: Well A) that doesn’t actually strike me as unrealistic but B) I got the sense of a “backlog” of assaults -- they’re using that wall, which was started who knows how long ago

MIRI: So it’s at least big enough to have masters programs

KRIS: not responding to like the student weekly or something

MIRI: True

LIZ: i mean i know so many people in so many schools (large, small, medium and very small) who all have sexual assault stories

MARCHAE: thanks for the wall reminder

LIZ: i didn’t find the number to be at all shocking

KRIS: yeah

MARCHAE: I think maybe again its the dissonance of this being a drama/comedy that has me a bit jarred

LIZ: maybe the number of guys that were turned in or reported seems high, but SO FUCKING MANY are floating around in my mind right now

MARCHAE: i dealt with lots (more than i have ever wanted to) but not weekly by any stretch

that definitely doesn’t mean it wasn’t happening

MIRI: Well, just because the show aired every week doesn’t mean it’s only a week in universe

LIZ: right

thats true

MARCHAE: thanks gang

MIRI: And Kris is right--they definitely go into past exploits some

KRIS: That wall, man

MIRI: It is BRUTAL and so effective

MARCHAE: yeah the reminder of the wall definitely does it.... i literally was like

DAMN this is INSANE and darlington should be shut the hell down

KRIS: I texted Miri something like “I never do this but there’s a pure drama beat that made me 😭😭😭😭”

LIZ: I wish every college had a wall

KRIS: and it was definitely Ophelia handing Jules the Sharpie

MIRI: He did and I treasure that text

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

LIZ: oh something that I meant to google.. could be such a coincidence

MARCHAE: UGHHHH

LIZ: at my college, in the same kind of font.. the party dorm/ suites were called “Reimert Hall” and they are like “see you at Leimert” spelled the same and then they show “Leimert Hall” and it is creepily spot on

KRIS: Huh

MIRI: Whoa 

LIZ: not related to the wall

separate

MARCHAE: we did have a question from one of our readers and I promised I would bring it up to react to

LIZ: lol.. it is student housing but.. idk weird to me but maybe not to anyone else

MIRI: Yes, I want to talk about that!!!

LIZ: go for it! I don’t know the question

MARCHAE: about student housing or the question from our loyal reader

i get confused sometimes

KRIS: our loyal reader

LIZ: I’m assuming she means from the reader

MIRI: The question

yes

MARCHAE: BWHA

sorry

LIZ: mine was just a point thrown out and doesn’t really leave much to comment on haha

MIRI: Share the question with us, Marchae

MARCHAE: OH MY GRIEF I  am typing then stop to read...

LIZ: I know.. Kris and Miri are too fast for me

MARCHAE: ok so the reader wants to know if we read Ophelia as bi

MIRI: Sorry!

KRIS: NO STOPPING the overlapping is half of our charm

MIRI: Omg Kris

LIZ: There was one thing that made me think that

MARCHAE: GO!

MIRI: Ok, I am deeply bi-ased (hahahahahah) so I want yawl to discuss it first

LIZ: hahaha

MARCHAE: STAP!

MIRI: 😉

MARCHAE: go lizzie

@miri you are my everything LOL

LIZ: Harris said something about her being with Jule (I’m having a brain fart and can’t remember if it is jules or rule..)

MARCHAE: her being with rules?

LIZ: and I think Ophelia was like “not like that” kind of blushing

jULE*

damnit

KRIS: For all of my striving toward wokeness I am generally still slow to pick up on, I guess, Sapphic vibes -- although being a social media-engaged Supergirl fan is training me better -- but I did also note that on my rewatch

LIZ: but it was a micro second kind of moment that made me think.. oh she dates girls too.. cool

so what do you think Kris

KRIS: This is pretty convincing to me:

http://wistfulwatcher.tumblr.com/post/154191025349/harris-has-most-definitely-seen-ofeefs-kissing-a

MIRI: Kris I offer my services if you ever need a consultant on this quest

LIZ: OHHH and PERSON yes thats smart

MARCHAE: AHHHHHHHHHHH

I didn’t even pick up on it!

MIRI: Ahhhhhhhh shit I didn’t even notice the person thing

MARCHAE: SWEET

i also think there is a lot of tension with Ophelia

MIRI: Ok, Reacting to Something officially rules Ophelia to be bi

Or pan, who knows

LIZ: I kind of also thought that was just a more interesting way of putting it..  like IS THERE A LIVE HUMAN JUST RIGHT THERE IN YOUR HOUSE?

MARCHAE: the writing and ACTING are smart like that

KRIS: And on my search for gifs to add to the post later, the scene in the cemetery -- “I think you’re amazing” -- seemed to be another touchstone

MARCHAE: yes!

MIRI: So when we got this question I was like “huh, are people seeing that?

Outside of shipping her and Jules?”

MARCHAE: but we also know that Ophelia doesn’t have friends

MIRI: But upon rewatch it’s pretty solidly set up

MARCHAE: so before the question i suspected that she was just kind of enjoying her new friendship with this person

LIZ: wait whats solidly set up

MARCHAE: she’s wanted that

LIZ: her being bi?

KRIS: yes

LIZ: just confirming

MARCHAE: then after the question we received not only did I pay more attention, but I think again there is definitely some tension

MIRI: I’m honestly so jaded from shows that like to dip their toe in the idea of something happening but will never go for it that I tend to only accept stated queerness

MARCHAE: and she might have a crush on jules!

MIRI: But it does feel very genuine and deliberate here

Which is lovely!

MARCHAE: agreed miri

LIZ: good!

K: consider it canon

KRIS: I think it was a writers room with only one straight man

LIZ: Im HERE FOR THAT

MARCHAE: That’s kind of awesome!

KRIS: (the past tense here kills me)

MIRI: I love it

UGhhhhhhhh I know

LIZ: wait

is it done?

forever

KRIS: I don’t think I’ve ever been so upset about a cancellation

LIZ: LAWD

MARCHAE: yup

LIZ: I CANT

KRIS: They’re shopping it to streaming sites

MIRI: Guys, sorry we’re making you fall in love with a cancelled show

LIZ: THIS FUCKING WEEK

MARCHAE: yeah i found out today

yeah

MIRI: OMG did we not tell you???

LIZ: *BREAK FOR EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN*

MARCHAE: i was PISSED OFF

LIZ: NO

I DIDNT KNOW

MIRI: I’M SO SORRY!!!!!!!

MARCHAE: and like this is why I DON”T WATCH TV

LIZ: This is the devils week. why not this too!?

anyways

MARCHAE: LOLOL

LIZ: also.. good girls revolt was amazing (to me)

MIRI: I loved it!

MARCHAE: also can i just have my moment for the fact that this show also digs into the issue of racism

LIZ: why can’t bad bitches get a win? why

yes

MARCHAE: and handles it kind of nicely

KRIS: That scene was surprisingly upsetting

LIZ: super upsetting

KRIS: I love that it’s the cop we saw be nice to Jules

MIRI: Yes! Let’s talk about that froyo scene

It’s so well done

MARCHAE: reminded me of trayvon martin

MIRI: And the other cop recognizing that it’s wrong, but not stepping up enough to actually stop it

MARCHAE: i also love that is it harris?

LIZ: like he was being racially profiled.. but he also had the one good thing he was looking forward to smashed on the ground

MARCHAE: yup

LIZ: yeah just kind of being like “sorry, but this is kind of what we do, i won’t stop it”

MARCHAE: it is heartbreaking and realistic

KRIS: That younger cop also comes back

MIRI: I’m glad that they played it very seriously

LIZ: ooo

MARCHAE: I was glad that he didn’t want to be seen as only one kind of black when he fought back with the paper editor as well

KRIS: This show has a really deep bench of minor-ish supporting characters

MARCHAE: they better had!

KRIS: MM I think that’s episode 4

On a lighter note I also really appreciate the importance of froyo to the world-building of this college town

LIZ: yes I’m not familiar

MARCHAE: YES

MIRI: Froyo continues to matter

As does pizza

MARCHAE: and dairy queen soft serve

LIZ: In college, we would plan a whole trek to froyo (we got one a few min away my senior year)

MARCHAE: GURL

MIRI: We once drove to Waffle House at 4 am in the snow

In South Carolina

KRIS: From earlier than I remembered, too -- Ophelia running away from Barton and running into a guy carrying a cup -- “Tart?!”

MIRI: where they can’t handle snow

KRIS: YES the pizza place

MIRI: Huh? What is the cup thing?

KRIS: of froyo

LIZ: Food culture in college .. is something very important and lets think abouthtat

MIRI: OHHHH

KRIS: Ophelia has no patience for Basic things, clearly

MIRI: Also that running away scene is great

LIZ: and by think of that .. I mean.. remember fondly when 4th meals were a thing and breakfast at night reigned supreme.

MIRI: Ophelia has a lot of opinions and I have a lot of feelings about her

KRIS: (I love Jules’s “I like sunsets on Instagram”)

LIZ: ophelia is hilarious.. i love her comment “she’s literate”

KRIS: Ophelia’s ramen diet

MARCHAE: LOL

LIZ: and also that girl [Fiona] trying to be sexy and saying “there are no drapes” so seriously

MIRI: Yeah I definitely want to see that girl eat a vegetable

LIZ: and giving up and being  like “IM SHAVED” ahaha

KRIS: Lemon I laughed so loud at “She’s literate?” on my rewatch

MIRI: I love that girl!

MARCHAE: there are a ton of one liners

LIZ: yeah the popcorn for breakfast made even me feel like OH HONEY NO NUTRIENTS

KRIS: So real

MARCHAE: that’s usually my breakfast on sundays after i mop

LIZ: miri what are your many opinions about ophelia

MARCHAE: and i’m old

MIRI: WAIT

LIZ: my dogs eat better than I do so I get it

MIRI: Marchae eat real meals please I worry

LIZ: and you mop before you eat

MARCHAE: yes almost every sunday

MIRI: Ok back to my many opinions: as stated I LOVE HER

LIZ: i had a banana, fake chicken, vegan pasta and granola today.. that is kind of healthy

MIRI: I also really love her need to belong

MARCHAE: i eat popcorn, drink a pepsi and catch up on my shows

LIZ: her need to belong to who or what

KRIS: just in general

LIZ: I guess I am really new

MARCHAE: YES

KRIS: to have friends, to have a cause

MIRI: She’s obsessed with the idea that she’s this cool fuckup who doesn’t need people, but she needs people so MUCH

LIZ: I get that

MARCHAE: its evident from episode one almost immediately

LIZ: we all do! even when we aren’t good at.. people!

MIRI: She jumps head first into this insane vigilante thing

LIZ: MARCHAE

MIRI: and kicks it into a higher gear

LIZ: STOP DRINKING SODA

MARCHAE: i think it makes her so relatable too and you fall in love with her

LIZ: IT WILL KILL YOU

MARCHAE: (mostly only on SUNDAY AFTER MOPPING but WITH POPCORN)

LIZ: I know, she is the perfect.. not robin.. robin

MIRI: She hurts Harris so easily but would be devastated if she actually lost him

LIZ: yeah i love her apology scene to him

MARCHAE: but he loves her no matter what

MIRI: She thinks she’s beyond needing that sort of connection because she can’t have it with her mom

LIZ: just a girl standing in front of  a boy.. asking for her job back

KRIS: Yes her bad-friend-ness is great

MARCHAE: *snap snap snaps fingrs*

MIRI: But she’s wrong

KRIS: Dammit Ophelia you know I can’t resist Notting Hill

MIRI: and she needs people so badly

Also she’s just hilarious and brilliant and I love her and Harris’s friendship so much

LIZ: her mom was so rude to her on the phone it made me sad especially because Jules doesn’t have a mom.. and I know those were really briefly introduced to me, but I’m sure those are important issues

MIRI: OH YOU JUST WAIT

On the subject of friendship, there are a ton of examples of girls being very affirmational to each other that really interest me

LIZ: I also love that Harris is.. presumably straight and is not afraid to love RBG or Notting Hill

KRIS: I’m so jealous you’re experiencing this show for the first time

MIRI: Because sometimes they’re played for laughs

But not most of the time

and I love that

MARCHAE: YES!

MIRI: Like, the high girls just need to hug!

LIZ: I wanted to be in the back seat of their car screaming along to Defying Gravity

MIRI: And sometimes Kennedy is a bit ridiculous with her goddess stuff

MARCHAE: i love your love for defying gravity liz

MIRI: But for the most part it is 100% genuine

MARCHAE: Kennedy is the most

MIRI: And so what I do with my friends

LIZ: yeah kennedy suggesting that shit to ophelia was HILARIOUS

basically like “HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO GOOP.COM?”

MIRI: kennedy is indeed the most

MARCHAE: I am so CURIOUS about what happens when Jules tells her

KRIS: That shot where I assume Fiona and Gabby are on a dolly when they enter Vinylton high on shrooms is perfect

MIRI: So I love that there’s drunk girl in the bathroom type compliments and Woke Freshman type compliments AND really genuine support for each other

KRIS: sorry I was just slow there

LIZ: i think that kennedy will eventually (i mean who knows since it is cancelled) be an ally and join the cause or at least be supportive in a protective way

MIRI: OH JUST WAIT

MARCHAE: if she does I may ink myself!!!

KRIS: I repeat, I am so jealous you’re experiencing this show for the first time

MIRI: It’s a very well plotted season and that is all I will say

MARCHAE: *hugs kris*

UGHHHH i’ll probably finish it this weekend

LIZ: hahaha kris I’m feeling like that repetition is to keep yourself from spoiling

KRIS: There is Jules-Kennedy closure, for sure

Yeah, so, we went really long, even for us. Find the rest of our Reaction here.

EDITED 20 April 2019: You can and should buy Sweet/Vicious on Amazon, Google Play, or iTunes. If you’re here because you just watched Jennifer Kaytin Robinson’s Someone Great, maybe now’s a good time to renew calls for Netflix to add S/V to its library.

[footbaliimagines]

surprise (an antoine griezmann imagine)

You’ve always been a terrible liar.

You could never get away with lying to teachers about homework, or come up with white lies on the spot to get you out of sticky situations. More importantly, you couldn’t lie to Antoine about your plans for his birthday.

Which consisted of a surprise party and the biggest chocolate cake you’ve ever seen, despite you telling him that you thought maybe you could go out for dinner at the Italian place you knew he loved. Some of the guys from Atletico had approached you with ideas of what to do for his birthday, and as soon as Saul had suggested a surprise party, you’d leapt off your chair and decided adamantly that it just had to happen.

(Cue 2 months of sneakily buying decorations and presents and brushing Antoine off when he suggested maybe taking a helicopter to Venice to celebrate for the weekend, just the two of you.)

(God, saying no to that had been difficult.)

When his birthday morning arrives, you lie straight through your teeth that his present hadn’t arrived in time. It’s a good job he has his back to you and is too busy buttering his toast to notice the smile tugging on your lips, and he simply kisses you in response and asks, what’s the need for presents in the first place when I have you right here with me?

(He’s far too lovely and far too romantic, and you could honestly cry.)

Then, when he tells you he fancies heading down to Buen Retiro Park for the afternoon, maybe getting lunch and some cocktails at that cute boutique in the city, you have to shake your head violently. “I thought maybe we could just spend the day here. I could make you a cake!” You warble.

He frowns initially, mind flashing back to the last time you attempted- and subsequently failed to- bake cupcakes, the state of the kitchen and the burning smell that had lingered in your oven for weeks afterwards. “Maybe avoid the baking stuff, babe.” He laughs lightly, before pressing a kiss to your hair. “I’m going to head upstairs and ring my Mum. I’ll be back in a bit, mon amour.”

You let him go upstairs, with his mate cup in one hand and toast in the other, and you’re pretty sure the guilt washing over you nearly pushes you over the edge.

You thought practice would make perfect.

But every time you’re forced to lie again, to tell him that dammit, you swore you’d ordered a proper cake! or to suggest staying in watching a film instead of going out for dinner, it feels more and more disingenuous. You’re petrified that your cover is going to get blown any time soon. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to head out for dinner?” He asks.

It’s 5 o’clock now, and Antoine’s head is in your lap, you’re watching some reality show and running your fingers through his hair. “Hmmm.” You hum, fixing your gaze on the television. “Would you rather not just stay in?”

“Well, um, not really.” He wrinkles his nose up. “I kind of wanted to go out for dinner.”

“Fine. I guess we could.” You sigh dramatically. “What about that Italian place? The one we went to the other month?”

(It’s a tiny, dimly lit restaurant with a menu the size of your hand and a spaghetti Bolognese that made you both vomit for days after. The look on his face as he attempts to grimace a smile is so perfect and so close to causing you to blow your cover that you fake a cough before he gets suspicious.)

He opens his mouth to reply but silence ensues, and then sits up before frowning. You ask him in mock concern, “Are you okay? You look a bit…annoyed.”

He looks at you tellingly, before exhaling and shaking his head. “You know what- and I really didn’t want to actually have to say something- but I am annoyed. It’s my birthday and I thought that maybe you’d have planned something a bit more, you know, special? Instead we haven’t moved all day and now you’re taking me to that Italian place- I appreciate the gesture more than you know, but seriously? I had to spend the whole day with my head in the toilet after we ate there last time! And I thought that maybe we’d do more, get lunch, go out for drinks. Plus, you’re not the kind of person to turn down drinking alcohol before noon.”

“That’s kind of hurtful, you know.” You let your voice wobble.

Antoine’s face falls and guilt instantly washes over his eyes.

(Move over, Meryl Streep. You were the best god damn actress in the world.)

“Look, I’m sorry. Maybe it’s the stress, or nerves because of our Champions League fixture, or whatever. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” He rushes forward, taking your hands in his. “I’m sorry. Should we leave soon, then? For the Italian?”

“I mean, if you even want to leave-“

“Of course I do.” He picks up your hand. “I would go anywhere for you.” Antoine kisses your knuckles and then reaches forward to press a light kiss to your lips. “I’ll go and get dressed and then I can call a cab. Again, I’m sorry.”

He looks genuinely apologetic and again- again- you’re so close to blowing your cover. He’s too sweet and it looks like he’s seriously flustered after voicing his thinly veiled annoyance. You pull out your phone and go to text Fernando. We’re leaving in 5!!!! I repeat, sunflower is officially leaving the garden in 5!!!!! WE’LL BE THERE IN T MINUS 15 MINUTES!!!!

(The cheesy nicknames were all your idea, that you were proud to admit.)

It’s a mild, spring night, and the sun is only just setting. He’s in his best jeans and even combed his hair for this, and you link his arm as you both walk down the street. “This isn’t the Italian place.” He frowns.

You hook your hand more firmly into the crook of his elbow. “Is it not? I swear I told the taxi driver the right address.”

“No, I’d remember.” He shakes his head, frowning. “Where even are we?”

“By the Italian place, right?”

“Babe, I swear that’s not around here. Aren’t we closer to Fernando’s?”

“Hm. Weird.” You reply shortly. “Hey, um, Antoine?”

“Yeah?”

“Hypothetically speaking, if I asked you to put on a blindfold right now, right here, what would you think?”

“I’d probably ask you to save it for somewhere more private.”

“Behave.” You giggle. “Seriously, though?”

“I’d probably think something along the lines of, why the fuck is my girlfriend such a creep?”

“Ha ha ha.” You roll your eyes, pulling out a piece of red fabric- it’s one of your headbands, you notice- and gesturing to it. “Can I?”

“What is going on?”

He lets you tie it around his face (but not before you manage to pull his hair and make him yelp in pain about three dozen times) and there’s a grin, a nervous, excited one, creeping onto his face. It’s almost as if he knows what’s about to come. “I swear to God, if you let me trip up-“

You laugh, reaching for his hand and pulling out your phone. “Hold my hand.”

Blindfold on!!!!! T minus 5 minutes!!!!!

It’s a short, brisk walk from where you’re currently stood to Fernando’s house, and you manage to keep babbling at a ridiculously high noise level to hide the sounds of opening his front gate and pushing open the front door. “Can I take my blindfold off, now?”

(He’s been asking you this non stop, and he reminds you of Donkey when Shrek and Fiona are trying to get to the Kingdom of Far Far Away.)

“Patience is a virtue. Shh.”

It’s dark and unusually quiet in Fernando’s house, and you let out an excited squeal when you see the outlines of the decorations hung around his shadowy living room. You find yourself gripping his hand even tighter, zoning out from the relentless questions he was asking. What are we doing, where are we going, babe if you’re trying to murder me I swear I can scream louder than you, is this for my birthday, why are we inside now, what’s going on?

“Surprise!”

“Merde!” He hisses, and you feel him leap away from your side as the lights flicker on.

You tug the blindfold off his face and the lights flicker on. There are balloons, of every single colour you can think of (Antoine had always been adamant that he didn’t have a favourite colour), crowding around Fernando’s living room, a playlist made specially by Koke and Filipe featuring an array of songs (from current songs Antoine liked to cringey French songs from his childhood to early noughties R&B) and fairy lights strung around the ceiling that Fernando later informs you, took him 3 and a half hours to pin up.

All of your friends are grinning at you and you glance quickly at him. His eyes are wide and he’s beaming and you feel your heart swell.

(Best surprise birthday party ever.)

-

The night eventually draws to an end, and it’s now way past 1.

It’s only you, Antoine, Fernando and his wife left now, and the latter two have headed to the kitchen to get started with the washing up. It’s still warm enough outside for the patio doors to remain open, and Antoine approaches you. You sip on your drink, humming softly, pleased not only with how smoothly the night has gone but also with how much Antoine seems to have enjoyed it.

He’s spent the better part of the last 5 hours grinning from ear to ear, taking photos and laughing, and you wish you could have taken a photograph of the moment when all of your friends had jumped out and yelled surprise. You’re smiling again, as you do every time you think of him, when he hugs you from behind, pressing his chin into your shoulder. “Thank you. So, so much.” Antoine murmurs, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “It meant the world.”

“You mean the world.” You reply, grasping his hands which were wrapped around your waist and letting your head back to lean against his firm chest. “I hope you liked it.”

“Liked it? Babe, this has the best birthday ever.” He begins to babble. 

You grin and turn around to face him..

He’s so excited, so bubbly and it’s just so, so, Antoine, being this full of energy despite the time, and you hold his face between your hands. “I’m sorry for having to act like a bitch all day. It was so hard.”

“You were a bloody good actress, I must say.”

You smile and kiss him again.

(And this time, you weren’t acting.)

-

A.N.: i wrote this for grizi’s birthday which i’m just about (by like 2 hours) posting in time!!! my update schedule has kind of been warped and messed up as of late and i have about 30 pending requests that i’ll write over the next week or so!!! as per please give me feedback or come and say hi here or feel free to have a look at my masterlist!!!

thank you for everything as always!! millie xx

[tellerford13]

MO ASTOR- CHAPTER 23

We don’t own the bikes, brothers, or any “related” Sons of Anarchy, trust us, if we did we wouldn’t have the time to write. No money is being made from our stories. So, please don’t sue. It’d be a fruitless endeavor indeed. That being said, Harley, Journee, and any other newbies are ours, and we don’t share. :Whispers in creepy voice: “My precious.” The universe This reality is a mix of cannon, and our own ideas. We strive to keep the boys cannon, but since we will be shifting around some of the events, that will reflect in our writing and their personalities as well. It’s our goal to provide you with quality fiction, and solid, fleshed out OFC. We appreciate constructive criticism and love LOVE reviews, they are a writers life blood and definitely help encourage us and inspire us. We will be posting on our Tumblr where we’ll have fun pictures from time to time as well. http://tellerford13.tumblr.com We’ll also be taking requests for one shots, preferences or imagines for all things Sons at our other Tumblr, so check it out and send your thoughts!http://tellerford13oneshots.tumblr.com/ And just for fun, we’ve decided to start a Pinterest for the story! So if you want a glimpse at our girls and see into our world, check it out! https://www.pinterest.com/tellerford/

                                                       A/N: A huge round of thanks to all of you amazing folks for your patience. As you guys know, Telford is a writer, she’s got four books coming out this month. Imagine the editing… yeap it was horrific. Teller has a busy career and schooling of her own, and sometimes life prevents them from posting as they’d like. We love your comments, emails, and reviews. It really keeps us going.  Thank you for your continued support!

                                         Chapter-Twenty-Three

Chibs

I study my sleeping bride as the airplane taking us back to the states flies through the night. It’s been a busy two weeks full of remembering and healing. Seeing Greer and Padric was cathartic for me soul. They were okay. Healthy, happy, and moved on with their life. Leaving the way I had, forced me out of their lives as well as Kerrianne’s. Kerrianne. The thought of my daughter puts me in a strange place. I’m proud of the young woman she’s becoming. She’s lovely, intelligent, and kind according to Padric and the pictures I’ve seen of her over the years. The best wedding gift other than my bride was the phone call Padric arranged.

~

“Heya cousin. I got someone for ya to talk too.”

“No, it’s not me ma. Are you alone? Good. Close your door.” Padric hands me the phone, and I swallow hard as my heart thumps in my chest. Journee squeezes my hand, and I open my mouth.

“Hullo?”

“Hullo?” Her soft voice responds and my heart skips a beat.

“It’s yer Da.”

Silence falls between us.

“Da?”

“Aye. I’m visiting with Paddy and his mother, w-with me wife, Journee.”

“Oh. How…How are you?”

“I’m perfect now, Lass.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Say anything ye want. Hearing your voice is all I need.”

“Oh. I-I’m good. Lazy day, no school, and I’ve been in my bedroom reading.”

“Do you like books, love?”

“Aye. I’d like to be a writer one day I think.”

I close my eyes and lose myself in the soft, sweet sound of her voice.  “I know you could if ye put your mind to it.”

“You think so?” “I know so. I may not be able to see you myself or speak with ya, but I’ve kept up with you over the years.”

“You did?”

“Aye. You’re me flesh and blood. Padric will be taking letters from you if ye want. We...” I swallow and look to Journee who nods her head. “We could write each other?”

“What about… I mean would it be safe?”

“We’ll be careful love. No one will find out.” “I’d like that a lot.”

“Good. I have to go now my beautiful girl, but we’ll be in touch, yea?”

“Yea, Da.”

She hangs up, and I close my eyes. I just heard my daughter call me Da for the first time I can really remember. Tears blur my vision.

~~~~~~~

PRESENT

Things are finally coming back around for me. I’m doing more than making it from day to day running on empty. Alcohol was my fuel for so long. The thing that numbed the pain blurred the memories and kept me functioning. I leaned on Journee more than I should’ve, but she never turned me away, and I clung to that in many ways. I’d been lying to myself about my leanaan for so long, I almost started to believe it.

~

PAST

I can’t handle the club tonight. Not on Kerrianne’s birthday. I ignore Tig’s whine for me to return as I weave my way through the crowd out into the night air. My chest is tight, and my nerves are short. Getting drunk is a must, but I find tonight I don’t want to do it alone. There’s only one person I can stand to be around when I get dark like this. I walk to my bike and start her up with two things on my mind, Whiskey and Journee.

I have the bottle open and another in the black bag I’m carrying as I take a long draw and walk up the driveway. There’s no bikes here, so I know we’ll be alone. Her home has become a haven for us when we need to get away. It’s not unusual to see Happy or Jax here when they need to get away. The door opens and I meet her kind eyes.

“Oh, Filip.”

Her words are full or sorrow, but I don’t feel pitied, only cared for. Only she has the power to do that. At the bottom of the stairs, we’re the same height. She cups my face with her hand. Her fingers graze my scar. I shiver, but it’s not with disgust or discomfort. I really am a rotten bastard. It’s not the first birthday I’ve ridden out here, I know in my heart, it won’t be the last.

“Are you up for a party, love?” I offer the bottle.

She accepts it and takes a long pull.

“Are you?”

My lips quirk upward. “Cheeky girl. Only ye could get a smile out of me on this day.”

“Come inside.” She steps back, and I follow her in. The scent of incense is a religious experience. I’m baptized by the sweet smell that I associate with the place I consider home.

“I was hoping you’d come by today.”

“Were ye now?”

She nods. “Saved me the trip to the clubhouse.”

“Why are ye so good to me bonnie lass?”

“We’re friends, aren’t we?” she asks.

I rake my gaze over her. In a flowing white dress with skinny straps that support her full breasts, she’d tempt a saint.  

“Aye, love. Best friends.”

She gives me a smile. “I thought maybe we could do something different today.”

“OH?” I take the bottle bag and chug. She pushes it down. “Yes, and I need you sober for it.”

I can think of a lot we could do sober, leannan. The stray thought is enough to make me hand over the bottle. “Tell me more.”

“You’ve shard a lot about Kerrianne with me. Why don’t we honor that?” She bites her lower lip, and I know she’s nervous. I want to hunt down her ex and kick his arse. She never used to be like this with me.

“Go ahead, love.”

“I have the ingredients to make a lemon cake. I hope I’m not overstepping my boundary, but I know that was her favorite, so I thought maybe we could make it?”

The thought of making my daughters favorite cake with the person I’m closest too nearly brings me to my knees. I place a hand on her shoulder and squeeze. “I think that’s a fine idea.”

“Yeah?” She glances up at me through her long dark lashes. I tuck her hair behind her ear and skim her delicate jawline with the backs of my knuckles.

“Aye.” I’m not the only one who needs healing. I can see the shadows that didn’t use to exist in her eyes. Even at my worse, I can pull it together enough to be here for her.

“Good, then we should head to the kitchen to get started.”

I nod my head, unable to speak around the lump in my throat. Her thoughtfulness knows no bounds. It’s more than I’m used to from a woman. My relationships have been few and far in-between, and none of the woman had an ounce of the kindness and giving nature. I used to think it was because their lives had made them harsh and hardened, but knowing that Journee came from tough stock has changed the way I think about them. It made it easier in some ways to accept what happened between me and Fiona. It was never going to be happily ever after. The old girl didn’t have it in her to give me what I’d need long term. Instead, we’d have remained together growing a bit bitter every year as the distance drifted in and separated as surely as the ocean now does.

I wash my hands, and we work together between drinks to make a traditional Irish lemon cake. I study the yellow cake as it cools.

“Did you know they call this an Irish lemon fairy cake? I think it was part of why Kerrianne loved it so much. She was obsessed with the Fae. I can’t tell you how many of their stories I read her over and over again.” I laugh as I remember her little face lighting up as I made up stories about the wee faeries that came in at night.

“Tell me a story?”

I glance over at her and laugh.

“I’m afraid I’m a bit rusty, love.”

She pouts.

“Ack. Put that away. I’ll tell ye a tale.”

She smirks.

“Little brat. There was once a dark haired little sprite with big brown eyes and a wild head of hair. She liked to bask in the sun and draw her markings for others.”

She giggles, and I smirk.

“Markings?”

“Aye she had a skilled hand, and all her markings brought her fellow sprites great joy. They came from all around the land to be marked by the dark-skinned beauty.”

“And did she live happily ever-after?”

“Of course she did, love.”

Her smile falters, and she looks away. “It should be time to dust it with powdered sugar now.” She moves to the cabinet, and I make a note to pay closer attention to her. She returns with a canister of sugar and a sifter.

“You sprinkle. I have a few things to set up in the other room. You can’t come out until I call you, Okay?”

“Right, leave me to do all the work.”

She kisses my cheek and walks off.  I admire her thick ass and take another draw off the bottle. It’s not the way a man should be looking at his best friend. Don’t fuck this up. A voice in my head begs.  I blink and refocus as warmth envelopes my body and the tension eases from me. The whiskey is doing its job.

“Okay, I’m ready for you.”

I stroll out to the living room and my eyes water. She’s set up a proper European birthday complete with white bunting on the wall and crackers. A white cake pedestal sits on the table waiting for the cake we just completed. A teapot, saucers, and cups, are waiting for hot water and tea leaves. I run my hand over my mouth, stunned.

“…Or I can get rid of it all.” She moves to grab the tea pot. I walk over, and still her hand, placing mine over hers. I shake my head no, unable to speak as I pull her to my chest and palm the back of her head. The liquor is racing through my bloodstream, along with the heavy emotions. My shoulders shake, I bury my face in her neck, and the flood gates break as I grieve for the loss I’ve been holding back with bottles of Jamison since I came to Charming.

She wraps her arms around me and holds on tight enough to keep me from completely falling apart. Drained, purged, and tipsy, I pull back.

“Better?”

“Aye, love. Hate for you to see me being such a misery guts.”

“There’s nowhere else I’d want you to be right now. You’ve been there for me. Now it’s my turn to return the favor, okay?” She wipes away the tears with her thumbs, and I clear my throat as I nod. Everyone one has their breaking point. Tonight was mine.

“Good now, let’s be rebels and have cake in bed. Get your boots, cut, and pants off. We’re slumming it.”

I smirk and salute her. “Aye, but don’t forget the whiskey?”

She rolls her eyes. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

I smirk. I like it when she lets me in her bed more than I should. But the sheets are always clean and sweet smelling, and with her warm body around mine, I have the best sleep I ever have.

~

PRESENT

I should’ve admitted then and there I wanted her, but I’ve always been a stubborn bastard. I was ashamed of my desires. She’s half my age, and back then she was just getting the shop off the ground and getting over that piece of shit, Kyle. I didn’t want to do anything that would feel like I was taking advantage of her. In the end, it all worked out as it should. I slid down in my seat, and rest my head on top of hers. I want to enjoy the peace we’ve found and the bubble we were allowed to live in for as long as possible, before we return to our chaotic living.

***

Jax

It’s amazing how you can know someone your entire life, and still not know them completely. Dating has allowed me to see Lee in an entirely different light. There’s a softness to her. A vulnerability I want to protect at all costs. I’ve see what a man can do to a woman in this life. I won’t see her beaten down and used up. I’ve always treated her like royalty because that’s what she is, a child of the first nine, equal to me in a different way because she’s a female and I’m a man. Now I know she’s going to be queen one day. I can do no more than treat her thus. I snicker and run my hand down my face. She’s got me breaking out the vocab I learned in high school.

It’s crazy how much love I have for her inside me. Once I took the blinders off, it was like a trickle of water turned into a waterfall. She’s everything I need. Funny, laid back, but tough and willing to fight if necessary. She knows all there is to know about me and my life. But most of all I trust her. She’s not going to leave me or fall off sobriety into a drug fueled backslide. That’s what always kept me from investing too deeply in Wendy. I never held it over her head…But after her second relapse, I knew she wasn’t someone I could fully depend on. I shut off from her after that, and I think that’s where the honeymoon phase ended, and we began to go south. She turned into a habit. I stayed because I had nothing better to do and it was familiar. That was stupid of me looking back. But it gets lonely after a while, and you get sick of sleeping with the same trim the brothers’ have passed around. It’s good in a bind, but kind of sad long term, unless you’re looking for that.  My mind goes to the older members who’d opted to stay permanent bachelors. For them, it was like hitting pay dirt.  Me, I always needed someone to feel close to. It’s why I was shit at leaving even when I couldn’t remain monogamous because I grew bored and disinterested.

Now that type of behavior is no longer an option. Lee is it, and I know she won’t put up with my bullshit. It’s why I’m chomping at the bit to see my sister. She always had a way of putting my mind at ease and walking me through things. Usually, If Baby J isn’t available I could just as easily go to Lee. But you can’t go to your girlfriend about your girlfriend, so Lee isn’t the only one anxiously waiting for her to return home. For all intents and purposes, this is my first grown up relationship. Wendy was playing house. I want to build a home with Harley, for my child and myself.

My child. The tiny being is the reason I’m driving toward my old home. We hadn’t seen or heard much from her since the wedding. That worried me. It was always something with her. Even if it was clear, she was calling just to bitch. After we came out at the wedding, not a peep was heard. Which is why we’re heading over unannounced. I don’t want her to have time to clean up any messes. I turn onto the street and park a few houses down. We leave the bike. The lawn is overgrown, and the house seems to have a dark cloud around it. My hackles rise, and I pick up the pace. I don’t even bother to knock. I take out my key and let us inside.

I scan the area. The house is dim. Dishes are piled up in the sink. My gut clenches.

“Wendy?” I call out.

“Jax?”

The voice is slurred. Fuck. I jog to the room we used to share and see her on the floor in the bathroom.

I rush toward her, and she heaves into the toilet bowl.

I fall to my knees beside her and grab her hair. “What’s going on?”

“Morning sickness,” she says from her position half in the toilet bowl.

Oh, thank God.

I glance at Lee whose hovering in the doorway. “If your morning sickness was this bad why didn’t you call someone?

“Who? You? You’re too busy playing house with your new woman, and I don’t have anyone else here.” She pushes into a seated position and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.  Lee steps inside grabs a washcloth and runs it under cold water.

“That has shit to do with me taking care of the sick mother of my child.”

She hiccupped. “I don’t want to be another baby mama. They’re treated like shit.”

“You think I’d be like that? We have a good arrangement going. Don’t fuck it up because you’re inside your head.”  I sweep my eyes over her. She looks clean. I hold out her hands and study her arms. No needle pricks.

“Let me see your feet, Wendy.”

She rolls her eyes and straightens out her legs. I search her toes for tracks.

“I’m clean. Jesus.”

“You can’t blame me for checking.”

She rolls her eyes.

Lee offers up a damp washcloth, and she snatches it away. I narrow my gaze, and she shrinks. “Thanks,” She mutters.

“Let’s get you into bed. I’ll have the prospects come by during the day and keep the place clean, yeah?”

“Whatever you say, your highness.”

I roll my eyes. “Don’t be a bitch.”

“I’m pregnant, alone, and sick as a dog, excuse me if my manners are lacking. You should have told me what was going on Jax.”

“What?”

“You and .her. I always knew you two had a thing, and there I am with my belly out to here in a black dress with everyone giving me pity filled glances. That was fucked up.”

“Hey. This wasn’t going on when we were together.”

She snorts. “Right.”

“I’m many things, but I don’t wreck homes. Your home was already broken, and Jax was already out the door.” Lee says from the doorway.

“And you had no problems opening your arms for him, right Lee?”

“Hey! I went after her. Your beef is with me,” I say.

She narrows his gaze. “Yes, it is. Look, I’m fine. Nausea is kicking my ass. You want to send Prospects by, fine. Let them help me keep the place up. You want to meet me at the hospital for appointments fine. You want me to keep up with you on the phone. You got it. But I don’t want to see this bitch in my home dogging your footsteps in my fucking place like she always belonged there. You owe me that shit.”

I bow my head. “Fine. You’ll deal with me.”

“Finally. It only took a year and a pregnancy to get your attention again.” She scoffs.

“You plan on being a bitch the entire time.”

“Yeah, I do.”

I roll my eyes, just grateful she hadn’t relapsed. I give a chuckle. “Fair enough.”

“Good. Now you saw me, examined me for tracks and helped me into bed. You can go.”

The undisguised rage and hurt in her eyes makes me recoil. I did that. I fucked up another person’s life when all they did was love me, and now my child is going to be caught up in the mess. My shit’s catching up with me and I’m seeing how my actions affect others. It’s an ugly realization.

***

“Are you okay?” Lee asks when we arrive back at her house.

“Not really. My kid hasn’t even arrived yet, and I’m entering world war three with his mom, and dude…She has a right to be pissed. I strung her along, dicked her over, and bailed when she told me she was pregnant.”

“You didn’t bail. Trust me I know leaving.” Lee places a hand on my shoulder.

“Didn’t I, though?”  I spear my fingers through her hair. “I’m over here happy, and she’s puking her guts up and barley able to take care of herself.” I shake my head. “What the fuck does that say about me?”

“It’s not like you knew Jax,” she says softly. I nod my head. I hear her words, but I’m conflicted. I stand and pace the length of her living room.

“Shit happens. You grew apart long before you knew she was pregnant. Step up, be the amazing father I know you can be for the child. That’s what’s important.”

The walls are closing in on me. I’m antsy, and for the first time in a long time, I’m uncertain.

“Harley, I need a minute.”

Her eyes widen. “Where are you going?”

“I just. I need to be alone and ride and clear my head. Maybe go see my Dad.”

She bites her lower lip and nods. She understands my nature. There are times when I’m better off by myself muddling through my thoughts.

“Alright. I’ll be here.”

“I won’t be long,” I promise. I bend and press a quick kiss to her lips before walking back the way I came. There’s too much noise going on in my head. I need silence to think. There’s nothing like the freedom I have on my bike. There’s a point where the wind blows everything out of my head, and I’m one with the bike, the road, and the sky. It’s a beautiful spiritual experience I can never explain to non-riders, so I’ve stopped trying.

I pull out of the driveway and weave through the streets, taking the bike onto the highway so I can hit that magical speed where nothing else matters. As I open up the engine, I can’t help but think of my own father. He was the strong, but level-headed type. There was an abundance of kindness, but he ruled with a strong hand, guiding, and disciplining when necessary. He was charismatic and sturdy, but not hardened by the life. Not the way Clay is, or even my mom. She laughed a lot more then. Until Tommy passed. Then they went silent and internal. I hated that period most.

I learned a lot about being a parent from my Old man. I could be that for this kid. They deserve to know the same stability and unending love. No matter how I fucked up, I never felt like my mom or dad wouldn’t back me. I can do this. I find myself doubling back and heading to the cemetery. I know my father’s soul isn’t here, but it makes me feel better when I have somewhere to focus my attention.

I park my bike beside the path and walk to his headstone.

“Hey, Dad. Guess you know I got myself into a real pickle huh? I’m going to be a father. It should be the happiest time of my life, but instead, I’m scared shitless. The mother can barely stand me, and I’m watching her like a hawk for signs of a relapse. Jesus, when I do anything, it’s never easy. You always said that and I’m still proving you right. ‘Cause to top it all off…I finally find the woman I want to be with forever. You know her pops, it’s Lee. I know, not a surprise to you at all. You always had a way of seeing things far beyond the moment.” I shove my hands into my jeans. “I got to get my shit together for my kid Dad. Problem is I ain’t sure how. There’s some shit I just can’t go to Mom with. You know how she can be. You leaving made her even more… over the top. Clay and I…well he never filled that Daddy role. I never wanted him too, and Tig…He changed man. He might’ve been your best friend once Dad, but I’m not sure you’d recognize him now. Clay’s twisted him into a tool he uses as needed.” I shake my head. My mind goes to Chibs and Journee. They’re my go to’s next to Lee and Op. But Op’s not accessible.

“I’ll talk to Baby J and Chibby tomorrow. They got married in an honest to God Castle Dad you would’ve enjoyed the show. Good to see the bastard and my sister happy. They deserve it.” I think of the long way around they took, and how well it worked out and my panic recedes enough for me to breath. I don’t have a plan yet, but I will soon.

[gotta-save-your-ass-for-a-change]

Who Would Have Thought?: Chapter 8

Chapter Title: Love Is In Everything Fandom: Shameless, Mickey/Ian Rating: M Summary: Mickey and Ian enjoy their reception, and Fiona surprises the newlyweds with a major wedding gift. Notes: Updates are definitely going to slow down a bit due to real life responsibilities, but there is so much more of this. It’s getting out of control, to be honest.

Also, I was trying to set something up with the whole Frank thing a couple of chapters ago, but I have since discovered that I hate writing Frank, so that didn’t really go anywhere. There’s a mild attempt at resolving it here, but I just cannot get Frank’s characterization right, so I decided not to push it.

Title from Darren Hayes’s “Love Is In Everything.” (Anyone noticing a pattern here 😉)

Ao3 Link

Chapter One * Chapter Two * Chapter Three * Chapter Four * Chapter Five * Chapter Six * Chapter Seven * Chapter Eight * Chapter Nine * Chapter Ten * Chapter Eleven * Chapter Twelve * Chapter Thirteen * Chapter Fourteen * Chapter Fifteen

They join their guests immediately following the announcement, choosing to forego any kind of tradition, for what they assume will be a few minutes of hugs and thank yous before the whole crowd heads to the diner for the reception. A few minutes into greeting their guests, though, they hear Fiona’s voice from the front of the room calling for everyone’s attention, and Mickey and Ian are turning to her curiously, confused at the new development.

Fiona smiles brightly at them once she has the attention of most of the room. “All right, people,” Fiona announces, watching Mickey and Ian mischievously. “Thank you all for being here. In about an hour, we’re going to head over to Patsy’s for the reception, but before we do, the owner of this wonderful venue would like to invite everyone to help themselves to some coffee and hot chocolate, and in just a bit, we’re going to bring out a little surprise for our guests of honor. So stick around, have some refreshments, and enjoy this lovely space.”

A moment later, she’s stepping back and approaching Mickey and Ian, both of whom are staring at her in confusion.

“The fuck’s going on?” Mickey questions when she’s within earshot, raising a brow at her.

“Casey and Trevor are giving you a cocktail hour, and I’m about to surprise you fuckers,” Fiona announces, slapping Mickey on the shoulder and grinning at him playfully before she wanders away, presumably to prep her so-called surprise.

Mickey turns to Ian in confusion. “The fuck’s a ‘cocktail hour’?” Mickey asks and Ian just laughs brightly and grabs Mickey’s hand.

“Don’t know,” he confides, pulling Mickey toward the coffee bar, “but I need some fucking coffee.”

“Decaf,” Mickey insists, and Ian waves him off, but complies with the request with a smile and a wink.

A bit later, Fiona finally shows up again, and she’s carrying a simple, two-tier wedding cake. The tiers are circular, lovely intricate lines looping out around them in the same pattern Mickey had drawn out for Fiona months ago—a pattern that matches the ones they have etched on their skin in promise to one another. It’s subtle, the design completed in the same cream colored frosting that adorns the rest of the cake, lovely burgundy roses lining the top of each tier to add contrast.

Mickey and Ian quickly appear by Fiona’s side as she gingerly lays the lovely confection beside the coffee bar.

“The fuck did you do?” Ian asks, pulling Fiona into his arms, even while his eyes remain glued to the surprise she’d planned. “We were just going to do pie at Patsy’s.”

“Yeah, well, this is a wedding, and you two idiots deserve the tradition. Bottom tier is for serving. Top gets boxed up for you to freeze until your first anniversary. Tradition. It’s chocolate with a mocha mousse filling and a white chocolate buttercream, and it is delicious, so stop complaining and enjoy!” she insists, hugging Ian back, and then moving to kiss Mickey’s cheek as Mickey pulls her into a half-hug.

“This is amazing, Fiona,” Mickey insists, squeezing her shoulder. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do this. You’ve already done so much—”

“Yeah, well, it’s done,” Fiona argues with a smile. “No going back now, so enjoy it. I’m happy for you two. Let me spoil you, okay?”

Mickey laughs at that and lets her go. “All right, all right,” he waves her off, and moves to join Ian where he’s examining the fresh tattoo on his skin against the design on the cake. Mickey sidles up behind him, wrapping an arm around Ian’s waist and peeking over Ian’s shoulder, laying his left hand atop Ian’s so the matching ink on their skin stands side by side. “Your sister’s kind of amazing,” Mickey murmurs, and Ian turns to him with a smile and a nod.

“Yeah. She really is,” Ian agrees, twisting until he can wrap his arms around Mickey’s neck to kiss his lips softly.

A moment later, Mandy appears beside them, her voice shrill as she pulls a face in mock disgust. “Jesus Christ. Could you two assholes keep it in your pants for two minutes? I’m your fuckin’ sister for christ’s sake. I don’t need to see this shit.”

Ian laughs and breaks away from Mickey immediately to drag Mandy into his arms for a tight hug.

“Good fuckin’ luck,” Mickey shoots back as he watches Ian rock Mandy playfully for a moment. Mandy jabs Mickey in the shoulder over Ian’s back and gives him a glare. “Hey,“ Mickey protests indignantly. “It’s my fuckin’ wedding, bitch.”

Ian laughs at the two of them as he draws back to look Mandy over. “You look good, Mands,” he tells her with a smile. “Missed you.”

“Yeah, well, I missed you, too, asshole.” She turns to Mickey then, giving him a glare. “And you, too, dick. Although, I’m still fucking pissed that I had to hear about this shit from my best friend instead of my own fucking brother.”

“What the fuck’s it matter?” Mickey counters, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “It’s his fucking wedding, too. We called, you heard, end of story.”

“Ian called,” Mandy counters, “not we. And it matters because you’re my goddamn brother, and it would’ve been nice to hear it from you, asshole.”

She gives him another playful little punch in the shoulder before dragging him into a hug. “I’m so fuckin’ happy for you two. Congratulations.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Mickey plays it off as though he’s not near tears at finally seeing Mandy again, looking healthy and happy, and Ian watches them fondly as Mickey hugs her back and teases, “Shut the fuck up.”

She rolls her eyes and pulls back to turn to Ian again, her voice sincere. “Really.”

“He knows, Mands,” Ian smiles back at her, reaching out for Mickey’s hand. “And so do I. Thank you.”

“Whatever,” she brushes it off. “I’m gonna go harass your brother and leave you two to bask in your shiny new relationship status. Love the rings, by the way.”

She winks at them and wanders off as Ian pulls Mickey into another gentle kiss with a smile. They hadn’t made a big show of the tattoos. They’d gotten them done the night before—the ink and the redness surrounding it still fresh against their skin, the vibrant black standing out sharply, no time to fade and dull. They’d gone just the two of them, without telling anyone, including Fiona, and they hadn’t incorporated the choice into the ceremony. Because this one little element was just for Ian and Mickey—the branding on their skin a deeper promise of forever than any they’d made at that altar just minutes ago. It was nice, though, knowing that that promise was visible on their skin, noticeable to those around them who bothered to look.

A few minutes later, they find themselves wandering away to a little nook off to the side of the main space. They both know they should be greeting their guests and mingling among them, but they’d planned to do that at Patsy’s, and they’d quickly found themselves wanting some alone time in the lovely little shop to just be together. So they snuck off, cozying up in a comfy leather loveseat in a dimly lit corner. They sit together, Ian leaning back into Mickey’s arms, his head pillowed against Mickey’s chest as they examine the ink on their skin silently, just enjoying the quiet time together.

They’ve only been in the space for a few minutes, though, before they hear footsteps approaching, and the disappointment they feel is palpable as they prepare for their inevitable return to the festivities.

When they glance up, though, it’s Fiona who rounds the corner, Yevgeny tucked in her arms with his little hands wrapped tight around the worn copy of The Velveteen Rabbit that Mickey had read during the ceremony. Yevgeny’s face lights up in a smile when he sees Ian and Mickey, and he reaches out a hand, nearly dropping the book that Fiona catches at the last moment with a little smile.

“Hey,” Fiona greets quietly, resituating Yev until he has the book firmly in his hands once again. With a smile she smooths back the child’s hair, and he grins at her, tucking his head against the crook of her neck. “Yevy’s getting a little sleepy,” she explains with a smile. “He asked for a story from his daddies.”

Mickey’s face lights into a smile at that, and he and Ian shift until Mickey can reach out for Yev. Fiona passes him over carefully, and Mickey situates Yev on his lap so that Ian can sit close. “You want to read a story, Yev?” he asks gently, eyes soft as he watches his son.

Yev nods, as he makes himself comfortable in Mickey’s lap. Over the past several months since Mickey’s been back, Mickey and Ian have learned quickly that Yev gets quiet when he gets sleepy, and sleepy always means storytime to Yev.

Fiona smiles softly at them as Ian strokes a hand over Yevy’s blonde locks and opens the book in his lap. “I’ll let you guys be,” she promises, keeping her voice low. “And I’ll run interference for you, in case anyone tries to interrupt. I’ll let you know when it’s time to cut the cake.”

Mickey smiles and whispers a quiet, “Thank you,” as Fiona waves him off and wanders away to leave the three of them in peace.

“Hey, Trev. Casey,” Fiona greets as she wanders back into the main space, keeping close to the little nook Ian, Mickey, and Yev are hiding in to keep away unwanted interruptions.

“Hey,” Casey offers back with a smile; Trevor giving a little wave in her direction. “They duck away? Was this too much?

“Nah,” Fiona responds honestly. “Think they just needed a little time to bask in the whole married thing. Plus, Yevgeny wanted some time with his dads.”

“Makes sense,” Trevor responds, sipping at the coffee he holds. “They really love that little boy.”

“Yeah. Yeah, they do,” Fiona agrees, leaning back against the wall behind her with a fond smile on her lips. After a moment, though, she snaps out of it with a shake of her head. “Hey, I just wanted to thank you guys for all you did here. They loved it. Even if they are off in their little family bubble. And, Casey, I want to make sure you know you’re expected at the reception, all right? No arguments. Order of the grooms.”

Trevor smirks a bit and raises his hands in innocence when Casey glances his way. “Wasn’t me,” he insists.

Fiona laughs at that, fond little smile playing at her features. “Look, they want you there. For real. Not just a formality or some shit. They love this place, and they like you. So. Be there,” she threatens playfully before turning to Trevor. “And you. Make sure he’s there.”

“Will do, boss,” Trevor offers with a playful salute as he takes Casey’s arm to lead him back to the party, leaving Fiona to keep watch over the little family around the corner.

Later that evening, when they’ve finally all made it over to Patsy’s and everyone’s been fed, they find themselves out on the dance floor—or at least the open space that’s serving as one. Even Mickey’s dancing, rocking playfully in Ian’s arms and laughing with his husband as they watch Yevgeny bopping along to the music with Amy and Jemma. The little boy had found a second wind after spending a little time napping in his dad’s lap, and now he’s back to enjoying the festivities.

They’re due to make the rounds with their guests—they’d been avoiding that particular responsibility, opting instead to stay close to one another in their little bubble of happiness. There’s a fear lurking that letting the rest of the party in might somehow dampen the evening, and it’s not entirely unjustified considering some of the family who’d shown.

For the most part, it’s Frank they’re worried about. They’d managed to keep him away from the actual ceremony, but somewhere along the way, he’d forced himself into the reception with Monica on his arm. Ian’s tense for a bit after they arrive, but Lip is keeping them under control for the most part, and part of Ian is happy to have them there. He knows he should be over the attachment, and for the most part he is, but even through the worry he’s feeling, some part of Ian is still grateful to have both his parents there celebrating with them.

All that appreciation fades, though, when they finally drag themselves over to say hello.

The first thing Monica does when they get there is hand Ian an unsealed envelope full of cash, cooing about how proud she is of him, and Ian’s defenses are instantly raised as he shakes his head in frustration.

“Goddamnit,” Ian forces out, anger tightening his voice as he shoves the envelope back at Monica. “We don’t want your fucking dirty money, all right?”

“Oh, sweetie,” Monica reaches out, laying her hands gently on Ian’s cheeks, “it’s not dirty money, I promise.”

“Then where the fuck did you get it?” Ian insists, pulling back and reaching for the gentle hand Mickey lays on his shoulder for comfort.

“Ian, honey,” Monica tries again, eyes gentle, but Ian’s not buying it. “We just want to leave something for you and your new husband. We want you to be happy. We want to help.”

“We don’t need your help,” Ian counters as he pushes away from the table, standing close to Mickey. “We are doing just fine on our own, and I’d appreciate it if you both left us the fuck alone.”

Ian grabs Mickey’s hand then, drawing him away, and Ian can feel the tension in Mickey’s form, the waves of protective frustration rolling off of him. He hears Frank call after them, a loud shout, That’s how you talk to your mother?! You ungrateful little shit. But Frank’s cut off by Monica who’s begging him to let them be and Lip who steps in to get Frank back under control, and Ian can feel his own tension starting to melt away the further they move from the scene.

“It’s okay,” Ian whispers quietly to Mickey, placing a gentle hand on Mickey’s cheek and guiding his eyes back to Ian’s from where he’s turned an angry gaze to Frank. “Lip’s got it. It’s okay. I’m okay.”

Mickey sighs at that, reaching out to stroke his fingers through Ian’s hair, eyes soft with concern. “You sure?” Mickey asks, eyes locking on Ian’s.

With a little smile, Ian leans forward to kiss Mickey softly, nodding as he pulls back and whispers a quiet, “Yeah, Mick. I’m good.”

After the debacle with Frank and Monica, they jump back into making their rounds, assuming the worst is over. So they wander the space, chatting with their guests, and it should be easy—it’s just their family and closest friends—but Ian can see that exhaustion is starting to wear on Mickey. Mickey’s not used to the full Gallagher experience. It’s not often that they’re all in the same confined space. Ian’s pretty sure, in fact, that this hasn’t happened since they’d announced their engagement.

At some point, though, Mickey ends up with Franny in his arms while they’re chatting with Debs, and his face lights immediately. Ian’s trying to listen as Debbie offers her congratulations and updates them on Franny and Neil, but Ian can’t seem to focus on anything but the bright, happy smile Mickey wears as he coos at the baby in his arms. Ian’s never seen him with a baby other than Yev. Back when they’d been staying in the Gallagher house, Mickey had always been good with Liam, but Ian has never seen him interact with a baby who wasn’t his son. It made Ian’s heart ache at the sweetness.

After a moment, he realizes Debs has gone quiet and both Debbie and Mickey are watching him expectantly. Debbie has a knowing little smirk on her lips, and Mickey’s smiling openly.

“The fuck you lookin’ at?” Mickey teases. He’s rocking Franny, fingers tickling at her back with her little head resting against his cheek. Ian thinks it might be the sweetest thing he’s ever seen.

“Language, Mickey,” Debbie scolds, and Mickey doesn’t even roll his eyes, just smiles a little and offers a quiet apology that Ian thinks he might even mean. It makes Ian smile.

Debbie stares at Mickey for a moment in disbelief. “Wow,“ she offers, turning her eyes to Ian. “Either you’ve seriously tamed him, or your husband really likes babies.”

“It’s cute, isn’t it?” Ian agrees, the corner of his lips tipping up as he and Debs watch Mickey with Franny.

Mickey scowls at them both, and Ian can see the silent fuck off in his eyes that he contains to avoid Debbie’s wrath, and Ian laughs happily at Mickey’s antics.

“All right, Mick. Time to give the baby back. We’ve gotta keep making the rounds,” Ian insists as he gives Debs a little hug and thanks her for being there.

Mickey frowns, the disappointment obvious on his face as he presses a gentle little kiss to Franny’s hair before handing her back over to her mom. Ian wraps an arm around Mickey’s shoulder and nuzzles at his hair, smiling in fond affection as he steers Mickey on to the next group of guests.

Once they’ve finished circulating with their thank yous, Ian insists Mickey join him back out on the dance floor. They’re laughing and happy and Ian’s not sure he’s ever felt so complete. He has Mickey now, for always, and he’s determined not to fuck it up.

“The fuck you thinkin’ about, man?” Mickey questions after a moment, the carefree smile on Ian’s face catching his attention.

“I’m happy,” Ian insists, grin stretching wider as he nuzzles at Mickey’s neck.

Mickey laughs at that and continues to rock Ian in his arms, holding Ian close as they bask in the joy of finally having one another so completely.

It’s not long, though, before Monica’s asking to cut in, cooing apologies at Ian, and Ian sighs but gives in, pressing a reassuring kiss to Mickey’s cheek before breaking off to dance for a bit with Monica.

For a moment, Mickey watches them, his protective instincts flaring. But Ian seems okay, and Mickey’s not about to argue until something goes down, so he moves to wander off to their table. Before he can make it, though, Fiona’s stopping him with a grin and a raised eyebrow.

“Any chance I can get a dance with my new brother-in-law?” she asks playfully, and he can’t quite bring himself to deny her the request.

“Come here,” he smiles, grabbing her hand and dragging her forward. She laughs and rocks with him to the mid tempo music that’s flowing through the speakers, and she chatters happily at him about how beautiful the whole wedding turned out and how happy she is for them, and he tries to pretend like it’s no big deal, but Mickey is really fucking happy there dancing with Fiona and watching Ian from across the room.

As the evening is ticking away, Mickey and Ian are beginning to get restless, ready to head home and spend their first night together as husbands. Fiona has instructed them that they’re not allowed to go anywhere until she can hand over their wedding gift, though, so they’re trying to hold out until she can get a moment away.

When she finally does, she approaches them happily, a bright smile on her face as she hugs them both close and kisses their cheeks as she whispers congratulations. After a moment, she hands over a small box wrapped in delicate shimmering pearl paper with a small cloth bow adorning it. Ian smiles when Fiona places the gift in Mickey’s hands and then nudges Mickey with a shoulder and a raised brow. Mickey raises his eyes, dumbfounded, and Fiona scoffs playfully.

“Open it!” she insists, bright eyes shining with excitement.

So Mickey does, tugging gently at the bow, and then opening the paper carefully. Curiously, he lifts the cover off the small box in his hands, and gasps softly when he sees a key nestled on a bed of tissue paper. “Fiona?” he asks, fingers tracing the cool metal of the key delicately, afraid to hope. “What is this?”

Fiona smiles brightly. “It’s the key to your new apartment. In my new building. The two bedroom you liked with the little office you could easily turn into a nursery someday, if you ever decide to extend your little family. Renovations are all finished, and it’s move-in ready. Could even stay tonight, if you want.”

Mickey’s silent for a moment, disbelief and utter joy written across his features.

With Mickey indisposed, Ian cuts in, wide eyes locking with Fiona’s. “Are you serious?” he asks. “We couldn’t afford the two bedroom, Fi. Best we could do was the one bedroom.”

“Yeah, well,” Fiona waves him off with a grin, “I’m givin’ it to you for the price of the one bedroom. With the other units rented, I’ll be turning a decent profit. I can swing a deal for my family. I’m even giving you the first couple months free. Happy wedding, assholes.“

When Mickey looks up, there are genuine tears in his eyes, and he presses a palm into them to stem the flow before he finally breaks and pulls Fiona into a hug. “Thank you,“ he whispers, squeezing her tight before pulling back so Ian can take his place and hug his sister close.

Mickey’s overwhelmed by all the emotion as Ian turns to him and pulls Mickey into a delicate kiss, pressing their foreheads together when he pulls away. Mickey can see the tears shining in Ian’s eyes then, and Mickey let’s a little laugh escape his lips. “We have our own home,” Mickey murmurs with a smile. “With room for Yev. We have a home, Ian.”

Ian laughs loudly, then, joy radiating off of him as he kisses Mickey again happily. “Yeah,” he nods, tears threatening to fall from his own eyes, “yeah, we do, Mick.”

Chapter One * Chapter Two * Chapter Three * Chapter Four * Chapter Five * Chapter Six * Chapter Seven * Chapter Eight * Chapter Nine * Chapter Ten * Chapter Eleven * Chapter Twelve * Chapter Thirteen * Chapter Fourteen * Chapter Fifteen