#can't do anything to help or change the outcome or fix it. It's just there and happening and you have to watch and do nothing even knowing

[m0rninglatte]

Monster from Epic and Icarus analysis because the thoughts do be real

“How did suffering become so endless?”

- Icarus thinking it should have been done by now, but it's not. It's still going

“Do I need to change?”

…

Moving on.

“I'm surrounded by the souls of those of lost”

- Icarus talking about Aurelius, Enderian, *Centross*, Momboo, etc.

- The idea of everyone who has died is a sacrifice, and they will be brought back, but also Icarus ability to not grieve properly because of it

"What if the greatest threat we'll find across the sea, is me?

- Icarus wondering if they are failing and they are going to slip up to the point everything crashes because they made one wrong move.

“What if I'm the monster? What if i'm in the wrong”

- I like to think this line as Icarus beginning to think of each reset and all the "antagonistic" acts they've done and thinking if they are and have always been a monster because they in their own eyes can't seem to do anything to help people as they just end up hurting someone.

“What if i'm the problem that’s been hiding all along”

- Icarus in “Lady of the world” talking about how corruption has always been there, how whatever they did then was always there they just pushed it back of their mind until corruption made it the forefront of their mind.

“What if i'm the one who killed you”

- Icarus debating if it was Quixis that killed Momboo or themselves.

“What if I’ve been far too kind to foes but a monster to ourselves”

- Foes = Fable, ourselves = everyone else minus the co-workers

- Although Icarus currently wants to fix everything and stay with Fable, i like to see this as Icarus debating if they are on the right side.

The Polyphemus section is Centross, mainly the Violet Reaper

“Or does he end my men, to avenge his friend”

- S1 funeral. 

-“Avenge his friend” is a line you could annotate “friend” to be Enderian

- If you wanted to, you could almost switch into "...,to serve his goddess"

The Circe section is Enderian 

"When the witch turns men to pigs, to protect her nymphs"

- Corruption of Ominus Bane

- You could see this line in my opinion as either to protect her realm or to prove her point about Overworlders and how they are the same, for example, resorting to violent outcomes

The Poseidon section is Fable

- This section is a mix of things, I can see mixes of Fable during the war and Fable currently, and Icarus is like thinking of the similarities and differences between Fable and himself.

The Odysseus section about him during the Trojan War is Icarus and the Wack

“Does a soldier use a wooden horse to kill sleeping Trojans cause he is vile”

- Icarus using the wack to kill Momboo

"Or does he throw away his remorse and save more lives with guile"

- Icarus querying if he should just throw away his regret for any actions he has done and attempt to help people through sly and cunning intelligence (literally the definition of guile)

The section after the Odysseus section is Icarus wondering if they should just become the monster to everyone else but not the co-workers and yk Fable 

“I lost my best friend, I lost my mentor, my mom, 500 men gone…”

- Best Friend is Centross.

- Mentor is a funky one because i could see it be switched into my brother, but at the same time, you could keep it as mentor and annotate it to be Quixis

- Mom is Isla -> "Like King like Prince" : Icarus finding her portrait and realising Fable hasn't told them where she is and that he can't remember her aswell as Rae

- 500 men gone = the people and gods who have died and or been husked

“I must get to see Penelope and Telemachus”

A) remove the context of the names, no wife, no son, none of that

B) This could be annotated into two different ways but i can mainly see it as Momboo and Centross and Icarus’ hope with all this they can come back

“I’ll go where Poseidon wont reach us”

- Poseidon could be annotated into Enderian, but one that I think works well is the faction, mainly Ocie.

“And if got to drop another infant from a wall in an instant so we all don't die”

- Icarus being like if i have to kill another person, fuck it, whatever it is I need to do to prove myself or help in anyway.

The end section with Odysseus choosing to become the monster I could see as Icarus state of mind of their not meant to be helping people as all they have done is hurt people, so that's what their meant to do, it's what they were ment to do from the beginning, so they will.

Thoughts and feelings go bonkers and bit of aaah and bit of RA

[haunted-xander]

I think one of the (several) reason for why Shadowbringers is so good is because the narrative is more about the individual characters than it is the Greater Conflict.

Like, the Greater Conflict is definitely there, obviously, it's what keeps the story going, but the focus is always on the people, much more so than the other expacs. HW and STB also have some level of character focus ofc, but it's very selective and even then the focus is based on them in the specific context of the current conflict.

But in SHB, the story bends around the characters' narratives, rather than the other way around. The story forms to put them in situations that challenges their flaws and limitations, by forcing them to confront it and actually deal with it. Even just at the very beginning, you see the twins being dealt a terrible hand that very neatly clashes against their faults.

Alisaie is confronted with a situation that she can and could never do anything about. She has no means to help the patients (at the time at least). The only way for her to help them is by eradicating the source of the affliction itself: the Light. But the Light isn't just some Big Bad she can kill and be done with. Even when all the lightwardens are down the Light is still there, it's just more manageable. Alisaie learns to not only see the bigger picture, but to care for it for her own reasons. For all that she has participated in Big Operations, it has always been because that's what others were doing, what others cared for to be done. She feels for the people of Doma and Ala Mhigo, but she didn't set out to liberate their homelands because she has any personal investment in it. But other people do, and she cares about what other people- be they strangers or friends- care about.

Caring about other peoples feelings and opinions isn't a flaw by itself of course, but doing things without any sense of personal purpose, is. This is what SHB helps her fix and confront, because it is personal now, she does it because she cares.

Alphinaud is forced into a situation where diplomacy and negotiations does and would never work. He can't talk himself into Eulemore, and he sure as hell can't convince Vauthry or the free citizens to let go of their life of ignorant luxury. The problem here also isn't as straightforward as a corrupt ruler, because even after Vauthry is revealed for the bastard he is, it takes considerable effort and convincing to get them to get off their asses and get to work. It's one thing to change the minds of people who wanted the same outcome just in a different way (like Ishgard- they rejected unity with the dragons, but they still wanted an end to the war), but it's another thing entirely to convince people that another way of life is even worth it.

And this is what SHB teaches Alphinaud, that words and deeds can achieve much, but that there is much more to diplomacy than appealing to their wants and/or sensibilities to convince them of an alternative outcome. His development may not be as immediately noticable as some of the others (largely bc he had a lot of it already from HW), but it is still very much there.

Urianger's development had already been build up and sort-of started already, but we don't really get to see it until it near explodes in his face after we kill Vauthry. Even after he swore off secrecy, he's forced to confront his morals when the Exarch bids his assistance. Urianger has always been looking at the greater picture, to the point he'd almost lose himself in it if it wasn't for the overwhelming guilt he feels. He works with the Exarch, because he knows he's the only one capable of it, and he hates the very fact that he is. When the climax of the plan is about to be executed, he is pained to the point that even he can't mask it anymore. He has betrayed their trust once more and once more it will result in the death of a friend.

But it doesn't, and that's what's needed for him to confront himself. As terrible and unexpected as the circumstances around it was, it did show him that there are other ways. There is no one way to solve a problem, the first choice doesn't need to be the only one. And he would find those other ones of he had just talked to the others.

The pay-off doesn't quite come until EW, where we see him actively make the choice to go against his first instinct of acquiesing to the Loporrits' plans, and instead chooses to consult us, but that scene wouldn't have made sense or even happened had it not been for his development in SHB.

Now, Y'shtola is a bit of an odd one because while she does get her due focus, she doesn't quite get the same amount of development as the others. Rather, it shows how she thrives when not held back by others interests and (often somewhat needless) bounderies. Her intelligence and charisma have the chance to shine, her independence and confidence now rewarded rather than punished. In ARR, she is constantly annoyed by the Maelstroms way of dealing with things, and how no one bothers to actually listen to her. Her advice and reprimands are almost entirely ignored until the problem blows up in their faces and they have no choice but to concede that she was right.

Being independent and confident aren't flaws by themselves, but her sometimes aggressive approaches to telling others off does her few favors. In SHB, she has the Night's Blessed who actually heed her word and respect her, they listen to her and actually take what she says- be it advise or reprimand- to heart.

She does also, however, have to deal with Thancred who, much like the Maelstrom, ignores her reprimands and doesn't listen to her. The difference here is that her bluntness actually serves a purpose. In ARR, her bluntness lacks tact and meaning, simply a result of frustration. The Maelstrom won't listen to someone who doesn't come up with fleshed-out arguments and solutions, but Y'shtola doesn't bother giving them any until she knows they'll listen. But with Thancred, she does give him the solution. It's just that the solution is him. His words, to be precise, and his acceptance. And he needs to be reminded of that, and she does. It doesn't automatically solve anything, but that's simply how it is with complicated situations like that.

Speaking of Thancred, his narrative is probably the most important of all for SHB. He's always been shown as a capable, but ultimately self-destructive man who genuinely does not know how to deal with himself in a healthy manner. Theoretically speaking he knows, he recognizes that he is self-destructive, but he still has no idea how to actually fix it. It's been shown as early as ARR when it results in him getting possessed, but it's not really made a point of until it almost ruins his relationship with Ryne. Up until now he could just ignore his problems, but with Ryne he can't because now The Problem(s) aren't just his anymore. Anything that would hurt him now would also hurt her, meaning that if he wants to continue doing the one thing he actually cares about (protecting his loved ones) then he needs to get his shit together.

But Thancred doesn't know how to. And for all that his friends try and try to help him, he doesn't know how to. He's paralyzed. Thancred is so deep into his self-destructive habits that it takes the threat of both his and the person(s) he loves the most in the worlds deaths to get him into action. He doesn't know if it's Minfilia or Ryne who will return, and I'm not sure he expected to survive Ran'jit. He only has this chance, and if he wants to die without (as many) regrets he has to do something now.

And he does. He does and what it is he does is tell Ryne that whatever happens, it has to be her own choice. That he will accept any outcome, that he will still care about her no matter what, that as long as she lives or dies as she wants to, that he still loves her. He still loves her. And it works, because that's what he's needed to do all this time, to be able to just tell her that she matters. That he cares.

He tells her to live her own life, and he learns to live his own too.

[vexxandra]

after the fall (timeless pick-a-card)

so you`ve taken the leap of faith. what now? ☆ 4-10-24

PILE ONE ; " in the darkest of night / there is always light " ...

after pulling your cards, i immediately heard 'fed to the wolves', and i feel like that's how you feel as well. i think that at the start, you'll feel extremely vulnerable, and some of your older or more reputed peers might intimidate you at the start, but after a while, this energy changes. i hear 'pulling out the roots', so this energy is not permanent at all. i see it shifting into an extremely light and bright energy that feels like peace and happiness.

i think you'll find what you're lacking after taking the leap of faith. i feel like there's some emotional unsatisfaction in some shape or form, and this leap of faith you're taking is you trying to find it. i think you will, pile one, for sure you will. you just have to brave your way through the storm for a little longer to reach it. i believe in you.

PILE TWO ; " where is the key / that could possibly stop me " ...

i dont know what you're looking for. do you? i feel like you're trying to fix your past mistakes. you feel small and worthless, like things keep going wrong, like you can't do anything right. are you looking for a way to stop messing up? to stop your endless surge of mistakes? i dont know your situation, but objectively speaking, its not all your fault. i can't figure out what you'll find, because this feels like an energy of the past, or unknowing present. you can't live in the past, try to forgive yourself in order to move on to a lighter future.

after taking your leap of faith, you find people who bring you away from the past, into an energy of acceptance and positivity and adventures. im really happy for you pile two, this energy is really infectious and so accepting that my heart is bleeding. i feel like this group of people will really be influential to you, and will help you find gratitude in the little things. you might not know what this leap of faith is at the moment, but you will in time, just listen to your heart.

PILE THREE ; " sometimes its me / that has to chose to be free " ...

after i pulled these cards, i felt confusion and honestly a little scared. i felt a kind of dangerous energy, but after a little bit, realized that it was a good energy. the cards tell a very fortunate outcome, but you have to take it into your own hands. you're tangled in knots, waiting for someone to set you free. but just like the quote above, you have to set yourself free sometimes. find confidence to fall after you free yourself, because it is inevitable, but don't bruise yourself too much getting up.

after falling, you'll find yourself rising from the ashes of your old self and find your true happiness. in the cards, i see stability, happiness, and strength (literally). i feel like you'd have everything you'd ever want and have your perfect dream life. i think that it might take a little time for this to happen as i had to marinate on this reading before having the energy to continue it but i feel like the wait will be totally worth it as i can see you being happy for a very, very long time.

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

Heard this morning (27 March, 2023) A transcript for this piece is not yet up. They're usually up in a couple of days.

~3 minute listen.

This one right-to-repair law got through in just one state, because the lawmaker who introduced it narrowed its focus down from "The right of everybody to repair anything" (too many businesses to lobby against that) to "the right of wheelchair users to repair their own wheelchairs."

On the one hand it's great. On the other hand, it's a reminder of how marginalized we are in society.

Next thing to fight for: the right of farmers to repair their own farm equipment.

One state's gotten started. Forty-nine to go...

Transcript is now up. I've put the full thing under the cut.

MICHEL MARTIN, HOST:

Somewhere on your list of life's annoyances is probably this - manufacturers who won't let customers fix products themselves. Some states are pushing back with right-to-repair laws. Andrew Kenney from Colorado Public Radio visited with one of the first people to use a new right-to-repair law for powered wheelchairs.

(SOUNDBITE OF WHEELCHAIR WHIRRING)

ANDREW KENNEY, BYLINE: Bruce Goguen, who's 68, has used his powered wheelchair for so long that it feels like an extension of himself. He has multiple sclerosis, which affects his speech.

BRUCE GOGUEN: I just think of it as legs, as being my legs.

KENNEY: And that means when he got a new chair last year, every detail had to be right, like the speed of its different modes. His wife, Robin Bolduc, says each one of those adjustments required a visit from an authorized technician. It took weeks.

ROBIN BOLDUC: We would have to call someone, make an appointment, have them come out and say, gee, I'd like to change it so we're walking just a little bit faster.

KENNEY: On one of those visits, Robin realized that the technician wasn't using some specialized device to change the settings. It was a smartphone app. She even found it on the App Store, but it was only available for authorized users.

BOLDUC: Well, I want the app. And he was like, you can't have the app. But I want the app.

KENNEY: That would've been the end of the road, except that Robin and Bruce knew that Colorado's new wheelchair right-to-repair to repair law had just gone into effect. Representative Brianna Titone is the sponsor of the new law. Back in 2021, she originally proposed a much broader bill that would've applied to computers, cellphones and more. That meant an uphill fight against lobbyists for everything from hospitals to tech giants.

BRIANNA TITONE: So I did not win that fight. I lost that fight pretty bad. So that's why the following year, we pared it back to the people who really deserve to have this right. And that were the people who were in wheelchairs.

TITONE: The narrower, wheelchair-focused law passed the legislature last year with the help of advocates like Bruce and Robin. Once it went into effect on New Year's Day, Robin called the manufacturer to demand access to their app.

BOLDUC: They were not prepared. Right. Which - understandably, we're the only state. And it was day one, right? So they were not prepared.

KENNEY: In a committee hearing last year, Tonya Hammatt of National Seating and Mobility, a wheelchair vendor, warned state lawmakers that power wheelchairs are too complex for DIY jobs.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)

TONYA HAMMATT: This bill will allow anyone to perform complex repairs to power wheelchairs, which may lead to negative outcomes for the end user.

KENNEY: But after Robin showed Bruce's wheelchair's maker the text of the law, they agreed, sending out two staffers to get the family set up with the internal software.

BOLDUC: They gave me the code to get into the app. We played around. We programmed.

KENNEY: The couple have been tweaking the wheelchair's different modes, searching for the perfect speed for Robin to jog alongside Bruce or the right settings for a steep walking trail.

GOGUEN: It's wonderful. It's very wonderful.

KENNEY: And their success could have broader effects. They've been told the manufacturer is working on a public-facing app for everyone else who wants to use it. The company didn't respond to a request for comment. Meanwhile, right-to-repair laws are gaining momentum around the country, says Kevin O'Reilly of the advocacy group PIRG.

KEVIN O'REILLY: We think that this first bill was the crack in the dam that we needed.

KENNEY: That includes a new bill from Representative Titone that guarantees similar rights for farmers to repair their increasingly high-tech tractors and other equipment. It's poised to clear the state legislature in a matter of weeks. For NPR News, I'm Andrew Kenney.

(SOUNDBITE OF EDAPOLLO'S "BY THE RIVER")

[your-turn-to-role]

so, was rewatching s1 of lovm, got to episode three again. and i'm thinking about percy's backstory. and also because of sylas briarwood, thinking about dalen's closet

and percy's got a real interesting relationship with the concept of drowning, huh

i mean first of all he's almost drowned (or actually drowned) three major times in the story. and all of those had similar themes, though different outcomes

so to explain what i mean, let's look at these in chronological order

1) the river. one of the worst days of his life, if not the actual worst. watching your entire family murdered, being locked up and tortured, your siblings bodies dumped in the cells next to you, just to rub it in. after weeks of this, you learn your youngest sister is alive, and she helps you escape, it's the first tiny bit of hope you've had. and then they kill her. you realise you're on your own all over again. you're hurt and you're lost and you don't know what to do, you run because you can't do anything else. and then you trip and before you know it you're in water and it's freezing and you can't breathe or move and you're so scared and so tired- and you don't remember much after that

when that fishing boat finds percy, he's basically in a fugue state, he has no idea what's going on and is barely responding to anything, his mind just couldn't take it anymore and left. and it doesn't get any better when he comes back to himself, because he survived, but for what. they're all gone. he couldn't do anything about it. he couldn't even save his sister like she saved him

and yes, they eventually save whitestone, and get cass back, but that experience stays with him

because then we get 2) duskmeadow.

percy's just learned that ripley bought up near industrial amounts of gunpowder, and he's terrified. he doesn't know what she's planning, but he knows what she will do with his weapons will change the world for the worse. it'll get countless people killed. and he made the decision to let her go, because at the time his personal revenge mattered more to him. he's feeling that "i survived for what" more than ever, because now not only did he survive when his family didn't, he didn't deserve to be the one that survived. none of the others would have caused destruction on this scale. he's not just alive for no reason, him being alive made things worse. (this is kinda explicitly his most suicidal point in the campaign, to the point of he literally wrote a goodbye letter that evening, and then just kept it on his person knowing vox machina would find it when his mistakes inevitably got him killed)

and so he goes to ask the raven queen for help. he's not yet reached the point where he's stopped trusting in gods (this meeting is about to be what sparks that), and he knows she's helped vax, so maybe she can help him, tell him how to fix this, he'll do anything

but there's only one way to talk to the raven queen. and that's to willingly let yourself drown in the communion pool.

and he tries, he tries so hard. he's putting every bit of trust he has in the raven queen right now, that this will be okay. but it's freezing and he can't breathe and he's so scared and so tired and all he can think about is how he survived and he shouldn't have, and then he has a panic attack. the only reason it eventually works is because he hits his head on the stone of the pool and then he's too confused and hurt to fight it

and when he finally talks to her, she tells him he can't fix it. that he was a broken person right from the start.

so far his two experiences with drowning have not only caused him lasting trauma around the whole experience, but continually affirmed that he's not only incapable of saving anyone he cares about, he actually makes the situation worse just by getting involved. and drowning honestly in itself makes a pretty good metaphor for how overwhelming and out of his control all of this is

but 3) dalen's closet. god, this was so good for percy and vex in so many ways, you can keep meta-ing about this episode for years. and in this case, sylas' attempt to murder vex and percy? chain them up and drop them from a cliff into the ocean

they're both drowning. there's no easy way out, and no one around who could rescue them

their attempts to free themselves, while clever, don't work

vex loses consciousness

it's just percy, alone, about to lose the person he loves most in the world, again. to a man who only knew vex even existed because percy got her involved

and percy doesn't panic

by all rights he should have, he's certainly got more than enough reason to. but he manages to stay calm enough to figure out a way to get his head above water, and to yell for help, because his fault or no he is not losing anyone else

and because of that, their friends can find them in time. he didn't get vex killed, he saved her

he's not helpless underwater anymore. and he's certainly not broken beyond repair. and it's only now that he's come far enough to realise that

[sciderman]

I love the Cable hate recently because honestly that’s my favourite thing about Cablepool, the fact that Nathan truly is the biggest prick (and has the biggest prick) and only Wade seems to realise that, especially during the Cable and Deadpool run: the world sees Cable as strong and intelligent and cool, and Deadpool is calling him out for being lame and a dick. Meanwhile everyone in the world only sees Wade’s flaws, while Cable has heart eyes every time he looks at Wade.

Spider-Man (at least early on): “I could fix him.”

Cable, holding a collar and leash: “Grow up. I think the atrocities he commits are funny.”

NATE IS SOOO... i'm obsessed with his ridiculous mind. he should not have that much power. he should not have that much power.

nate does want to fix wade, but nate is so deeply flawed and controlling and hardly the barometer for you know. moral good. and i'm obsessed and constantly thinking about nate's backwards logic in justifying that wade is a good boy by consequentialism alone. it doesn't matter what wade's intentions are and whether wade had any say in the matter over anything - if, in the end, wade "behaves" it doesn't matter how much nate had to interfere and force wade's hand to get that outcome.

nate: "he did the right thing." everyone around him: "you literally fucking rearranged all variables around him so that he had no other option than to do the right thing." nate: "he did the right thing and i'm proud of him."

i'm obsessed with you nathan. full offence what the fuck is wrong with you.

i always say that's kind of just... that's why nate and wade just couldn't ever be healthy, and why peter and wade are just... healthier. because nathan wants control over wade - basically, wants control over everything. wade's intentions don't matter as long as the outcome is desirable. wade can't - wade can't actually turn a new leaf in those circumstances. because he's a disobedient dog, and he will growl and bite and kick if someone tries to control him.

and wade is so aware - wade knows nate is constantly exerting his will over wade's actions.

lord mama they are so fucked up... they are so fucked up...

i think that's why 9319 peter (my beloved) is so good for wade - because he pointedly - pointedly does not want to exert power over wade. he doesn't want responsibility over wade. wade has to make his own decisions. peter is hands-off.

wade isn't a child - or an animal that needs to be tamed. and peter's been all about this since the beginning.

peter knows that a man is the product of the choices he makes. i think peter kind of embodies the power of choice - peter makes the conscious choice to do good, despite his own wants and desires. he could be bad. he could be just like wade. and he knows it.

he doesn't intend to rob wade of choice. he knows how important it is. he knows how important it is that wade makes the choice for himself, to be better.

he doesn't want to take credit for wade's positive change. it's his.

and it makes peter's pride in wade just, all the more sincere. because he knows it's all him. it's all wade.

is peter frustrated that he can't do more to help? endlessly, yeah. but i think he accepts it - that he's powerless.

nate wants so badly to be wade's saviour.

and peter - i think peter's accepted or is learning to accept that he can't be. and kind of never wanted to be, in the first place.

i think it's why wade is kind of scared of the term "hero" - because he's never felt like the hero in his story. he's always felt like a victim of the narrative, or his actions were somehow influenced by someone else or the desire to impress someone else. he has very little trust in his own power of will.

it's a sore spot.

once again, wade attacking peter parker for something he feels guilty of himself. letting outside forces influence his choices rather than taking ownership of his own decisions

the original.. FUN fact. the original draft of civil war was so much more overt about this, actually. and i can finally share the panel. i can finally share the panel from the original draft of that post. it's wild. i don't really remember writing it, and i don't even have the rest of it. but bex saved this one panel and i think about it a lot. out there in the cosmos is an alternative version of that civil war argument that i guess i didn't go for. i think the uncle ben thing worked better. but. still. i love the red art. red is so sexy.

i think wade's whole outrage in civil war with peter was the whole discredit to wade's change. the second that peter put the tracer on wade, PAIRED with the confession that morning, made wade feel all kinds of "oh. i finally qualify for his love." feelings. and it made him angry. because it made wade feel like all the positive change he made wasn't actually for him, but peter's will all along.

god. i got so carried away here. but yeah. wade is all furious about this because it's something nate would pull.

long story short, wade's tired of being controlled, but he's still in the mindset that he's being controlled. by whatever. by peter. by nate. by the author (me) (he's wrong, by the way).

yadda yadda yadda, wade learning he has power. he has free will. he is capable of change, and he's not at the mercy of nathan fucking summers or the narrative all the time.

i think it's fun actually that wade has this perception of powerlessness and an absence of free will in his relationship with nate,, and peter is (unintentionally) teaching wade how he has power over his own life and power over other people and with great power c

[jaeyunluvr]

Little things they like

Seungcheol

when you stay up late waiting for him to return home after work, with dinner all ready. if you fall asleep while waiting he would feel extremely bad but still so happy that you give him such importance. him being your first priority makes him reassured and loved.

Jeonghan

talking about the most random stuff while laying in each others' arms is literally the most jeonghan thing in the world. he'd just love those moments and would want to have them going on for days. also play with his hands please he'll love it. like holding his hands, tracing your fingers along his, lacing them together and doing just whatever light gestures. he's going to LOVE it.

Jisoo

sharing little details and random occurrences of your day. Tell him you thought of him everytime you walked past the cute lil cafe on your way to work, he'd just smile like ^_^. Or talk about how you would rather have 276 dinners with his menace friends than having one boring company dinner.

Junhui

Jun would love your energy when you're with his members and how well you get along with them. He's lived with his members for almost half of his life and they're like family to him, so he would feel as if you fit well into his family and he would feel a lot more open and comfortable around you. He would watch with a lil smile and maybe even get shy over your playful banter with seungkwan over who loves him more.

Soonyoung

Hoshi will absolutely combust if you took interest in his daily activities and hobbies. He would love it when you tag along to dance practices and hype him and his team up. He would love it even more if you were willing to learn the new choreos he's made for their new comeback. Also yes, the horanghae, if you ever tell him you actually liked his tiger agenda, then you're in for some (a lot, lot) love and affection.

Wonwoo

Wonwoo would appreciate it, if you took notice of the little things about him. When you always remember how he can't have seafood and you avoid having it when he's with you, when you provide him with hotpacks during the cold days because you knew how he'd get cold easily, when you fix his hair just as he was about to step out for schedule. He'll LOVE it. He just loves the thought of you being so attentive and considerate to every small detail about him.

Jihoon

Holding his hand. Jihoon has this side of him where he's utterly whipped for you but nah he's not being obvious about it. When you randomly hold his hand while you're by his side in the studio as you watch him review the songs made for their new album, and on top it you place a light peck on the back of his hand GOOD LORD. he was already off track when you held his hand but now excuse me there's the endgame final battle going on in his tummy BUT the outcome of your gesture is just a lil smile on his face, which means absolutely a lot.

Seokmin

everything tbh. he's the sweetest and purest soul to ever exist and his partner is what he considers to be the most important thing to him in his life. so he likes anything and everything about you and your relationship and he's so committed like goodness god. you change your style, good he likes it. you hate someone, he hates them. he literally does anything for you oh my he's so in love with you, head to toe and inside-out.

Mingyu

we all know how clingy mingyu is. he appreciates it when you give him all your attention. like it's one of his daily needs. you're watching a movie, you still need to give him glances or converse with him. you're working and he's always pestering you about this and that. like he's desperate okay, it makes him so happy for some reason. he needs you to focus on him and him only.

Minghao

minghao is living art, visually and personality wise too. he'll love it if you were creative and willing to work with him on various things. if you originally did not have a creative side, this man will do everything to bring it out and he helps you explore yourself.

Seungkwan

complimenting him. he wore a new pair of shoes and he's going to purposefully walk back forth in front of you until you complimented his choice and tell him that they suit him well. once you were on your couch, talking about this and that as you rested your head on his chest. you looked up at him and maybe it was the dim lighting of your living room or it was just him, but he looked absolutely ethereal. so you said it out loud. he stopped mid sentence as he smiled the widest you've ever seen before his face turned red. he just likes the fact that you appreciate his existence and company. he feels reassured and satisfied with himself.

Vernon

vernon's is almost similar to hoshi's but a lil specific. watch his favourite movies and listen to all his playlists along with him and you're automatically his favourite person in the whole universe. he loves to interpret different things in movies with you, predict the endings, talk about how the plot would've been better, all the positives and negatives. we also know how vernon basically had his headphones glued to his ears so if you have the same music taste as him, or you were willing to explore his kind of music he's going to love it.

Chan

the bickering, followed by tooth rotting sweet gestures. one minute you two are arguing over stuff like best pizza toppings, it's almost like you both are going to fist fight and then the world blinks, y'all are all sweet and loving. like hello?!? what just happened? bickering is like a daily activity you do together and it's chan's absolute favorite one. he loves how playful and real he can be with you, not caring about a single thing.

[nanabansama]

If what the mysteries of time changed only in 1968, do you think Hanako or Tsukasa would still be alive in this new present?

Hi! Thank you for the question, but...if I am to be completely honest I have no idea what changed and how that will affect the present!!! I think that's one of the funnest things about the new chapter, in fact: the possibilities are endless. But...I will try my best to guess what changed regardless!

We at least know that Aoi's hair changed, which is directly related to the Severance in one way or another. What caused the Severance (beyond just Aoi being sacrificed) was No. 6 taking drastic measures after so many yorishiro were destroyed, causing an influx of supernaturals in the Near Shore. We also know Kako seemed to have changed something in 1968, the year Amane tried to fix the clock at the School Festival. (And failed.)

Kako said to tackle the root of the problem...and if we say the root is whoever is destroying the yorishiro, then it is indeed Hanako and Tsukasa. Tsukasa coordinated an effort to coax his brother into destroying the yorishiro, and Hanako's yorishiro is Tsukasa. However much you think Hanako is responsible for everything that's happened, the fact remains Tsukasa is his yorishiro and Tsukasa is a big player in all of it.

That said, Kako is totally ignoring Sakura and Natsuhiko (of whom he knows Sakura wants the yorishiro destroyed thanks to Tsukasa's confession during the trial, thus incriminating her), but it's possible they can't do anything without Tsukasa and Kako knows this. Regardless, that's a possible safety net...

Anyway, I think your ask is kind of funny since you seem to be implying Kako performed some kind of Yugi assassination back in 1968? 😂 I mean, we must remember, the Yugi twins WERE dead in the previous present...but yeah, changing the circumstances of their deaths would certainly be one way to alter the present. After all, it's possible the only reason Hanako was able to become a mystery was because he killed his brother in a very specific way in 1969.

But let's look at it this way...in order for Kako to have succeeded at birthing a new, more beneficial present for the Clock Keepers, Hanako needs to have not destroyed the yorishiro and Tsukasa has to either be locked away somewhere or totally gone. Considering Kako's calculated effort to sow seeds of discord in the Yugi relationship, too, I have to assume that will play a role in it...so I'm going into this under my theory that Amane at least still feels that Tsukasa is an impostor after Kako turned back time, due to his powers as Number 7 allowing him to retain his memory.

Thus, we have a few options for how the future changed. Here's my list of "hows":

Amane's relationship with Tsukasa deteriorates in 1968 and he never commits a murder suicide with him.

Alternatively, he still commits a murder suicide but without any of the previous love he had for Tsukasa. (i.e. he kills himself out of honor instead.)

Amane fixed the clock with Kako's help and accomplished whatever it is he wanted to do by doing that, which somehow changed his future significantly.

Kako blew the clock to smithereens in 1968 and the explosion killed them both. (What can I say you inspired me anon.)

And here is my list of outcomes (the numbers do not directly correspond to my list of "hows"):

Amane never died as a child and became a school teacher instead.

Amane does die and become a school mystery but his yorishiro isn't Tsukasa, whom he now believes to be an impostor.

Alternatively, perhaps his yorishiro is still Tsukasa but he either destroyed him single-handedly or is keeping him locked away somewhere.

Amane did die, one way or another, but his regrets weren't powerful enough to become a school mystery and he just passed on normally. Or worse.

These are FAR from comprehensive and I'm sure any of you reading this could come up with some good ideas of your own, but these are the best I can do right now! Thanks for reading. :)

I think Kako's plan probably wasn't Yugi Clock Explosion but I can't deny that would be hilarious, lol.

[anonymousbeefriendfanfics]

Could I please get a HC for Felix from Last legacy for an MC who when they first woke up there had unnaturally colored hair (blue if I'm being self-indulgent or basic F/C if non descriptive.)

How Felix would react to MC's hair color fading and maybe him helping them dye it again.

Of course! Sorry it's a little short, but I hope you enjoy this - it feels so very good to write again, and I hadn't realized how much I missed Felix!

Fandom: Last Legacy

Character(s): Felix

Warnings: None

For starters, I'm going to take a slightly unique angle on this and assume that hair color changing is not that unusual in Astraea. Sure, one could argue that Rime's strawberry pink hair is as natural as his antlers, but what about Anisa? Her mother's hair appears to be solid, yet she's got those lovely streaks in her hair. So it's possible, however... I'm going to say that it isn't dye, but magic.

Imagine salons employing mages who can color your hair instantly, along with other feats, such as causing it to grow out instantly when you've tired of a short haircut. Or salons with a host of magical potions in stock that can be applied to your hair similarly to our dye and instantly causes the color to change! I imagine this is a bit more expensive than just getting a haircut, though, which might be a good way to explain the lack of such vibrant colors in Astraea - most people cannot afford it, or maybe can't access any salons with such options. Or mayhaps it's simply more common than we were led to believe!

For funsies, I'm going to say that Felix's hair is naturally a much duller shade of brown, but during his early teenage years he experimented with spells and potions to color it a bright purple to scandalize Escell, but it didn't quite work, so now it's just... got this purpleish hue to it.

It might So when you turn up with colored hair, it's the least of anyone's concerns. Forget your hair, they want to know where you came from, how you ended up here, and how to get you home!

But the thing about magically colored hair is that it doesn't quite suffer the same phases as our dye. It's either fully permanent, if one could pay enough or find a talented enough mage, or it simply fades away like magic and leaves your natural color behind. But this... this is different. The color fades, and your roots begin to show through as your hair grows out, and no one's ever seen anything quite like it before.

Once Felix finally notices, oblivious little dork that he is, his first instinct is that something is wrong - he skips straight over the possibility that you might be sick, as Sage would surely suggest, and instantly fears corruption. If magic is the thing that colors hair, then surely it must be the cause of strangely un-coloring hair as well. Think of it as an allergic reaction, of sorts; right as you start learning how to perform magic and becoming more and more proficient with it, your vibrant hair seems to wither and become dull.

It's Felix, so... he probably doesn't bring it up immediately. Instead, this loveable idiot decides to fix the problem himself, and tries dissuading you from using magic. The sudden 180 from encouraging you to study the heaviest tomes and practice until you're utterly exhausted to trying to talk you out of doing those exact things is... concerning, to say the least, and you're not that easily convinced.

One way or another, it comes out, whether it's you confronting him, Felix spilling his concerns on his own, or some knightly intervention from Anisa. You explain that your hair is dyed, and Felix freezes, assuming you meant, you know... died. Hopefully you'll explain the difference to him before he launches into a tangent of apologies.

Once he understands, however, he's on a quest to renew your hair for you. He either attempts it himself - which, as mentioned, might not have the best outcome - or he takes you to the best salon in Porrima to have your hair professionally done by a proper mage who can ensure the color will never fade again, unless of course you want a different color.

Writing Masterlist 🐝 Requests Open!  Tag List 🐝

[haunted-xander]

Sometimes I think about Urianger's role in and feelings on the Thancred-Ryne dynamic and I think watching it kills him a bit inside. For several reasons.

Like, to begin with there's the guilt he's been carrying with him since he ushered Minfilia to the first, how he effectively killed the person Thancred cared about the most in the world and who's "death" ended up causing Ryne's entire Situation. He looks at what's happening between them and can only think "I caused this" even though that's not really true. No one person is responsible for this outcome, it's a culmination of several circumstances and the consequences of them. Logically, Urianger knows this. But it doesn't matter, because his guilt is overpowering his logic.

And also, like. What Thancred is doing here, the way he's knowingly letting Ryne be and stay hurt because he literally cannot bring himself to tell her his feelings, is the exact same mistake Urianger made with Moenbryda. Of course, the circumstances are vastly different, and the potential consequences to Thancred telling Ryne the wrong things or her misinterperating it is far greater (being a matter of literal life or death), it's still the same sort of paralysis they are trapped in.

And he knows it. He sees it. But he can't say or do anything about it, he doesn't have the right to. He acknowledges the mistake, but he hasn't really improved upon it yet. He still doesn't voice his thoughts and feelings as he should. He's also non-confrontational by nature, he doesn't argue or try to change peoples minds, he probably doesn't think he has any place to.

So, he tries to help in what little ways he can. Because he doesn't want it to become Monebryda again, he doesn't want to know he stole not one but two people from Thancred. So he does what he can. He tells Ryne little tidbits about Thancred, things that help her understand him but are safe to share. Nothing too deep, nothing too personal. Just small things, things that are purely factual, because he can't afford to give her a false image of who Thancred is. He teacher her fun and interesting things, because Thancred isn't in the mindset to provide her with non-essential skills.

I like to think Urianger has brought it up with Thancred at least once, during one of his stays. But nothing would've come of it. Not really. Unlike Y'shtola, Urianger isn't pushy, he'll bring it up once or twice and when he sees this won't go anywhere, he gives up. He wants to help, but he knows that persistance only does do much, and he is not the person who has the resiliance needed to push and push until Thancred finally budges (because he won't budge, it won't help anything but to sour things further by adding aditional stress to an already strained dynamic).

And like. Urianger gets it. He gets it because he's been the same way- not saying what he should to someone he loves more than anything else because she was meant to figure her life out herself, and 'steering' her in any direction by telling her his feelings (regardless of if the 'steering' is intention or not) will go against that. He gets it. He gets it and it's all the more painful for it. He knows it can't just be fixed by acknowledging it or with encouragement, something needs to happen to break the stasis.

I think this is probably why he stayed behind while they went off to Nabaath Areng. This is the very last chance they have to say what they want to, and he can't afford to be the anchor anymore. This is about them, not him, he can't let their resolution be buffed by his presence, so he stays behind. Which was probably for the best. Ryne got nervous when Urianger said he's staying behind, probably not too excited about being alone with Thancred (well, not alone, but WoL doesn't count) so soon after she had ran away crying. But she needs to be nervous. For anything positive to come out of this Thancred and Ryne both can't afford to be too relaxed. As sad as it is, the stress is necessary for anything to happen. He knows it. Does he like it? Absolutely not, but nor does he like his other plots. At least no one dies this time if it goes right.

[woodsfae]

If you haven't had a hysterectomy, it's hard to even conceptualize how intense the recovery is. My doc says, in impact on the body, it's second only to open heart surgeries and limb amputations! (particularly when the cervix is removed, which mine was)

The weekend before my surgery, I mountain biked 35 miles. I was tired, sure. But fine. As my pain rose over the years, my physical activity didn't really drop. Instead, I just became more and more body-blind as I ignored higher and higher levels of pain to push through.

That isn't an option with recovering from a hysto. After my hysterectomy, my physical restrictions were: no bending/twisting/reaching at all. No lifting more than 10 pounds (I soon revised that down, because lifting even a gallon of milk hurt). I was instructed to spend most of my time in bed. To go for a few walks a day, but to get back into bed after my walks. Whenever I felt pain I was supposed to go lie down again, which meant that I didn't sit up for more than 45 minutes until I was nearly a month post-op. And total pelvic rest. I was supposed to disengage my core and back muscles as much as possible to let all the delicate things that got chopped n sewed together time to heal back up. None of my restrictions were lifted till I was 7 wks post op.

My partner took 100% care of me during this time. He lifted my legs in and out of bed. Laid me down and sat me up whenever I needed to adjust. In the first couple of days, he helped me onto and off the toilet, till I figured out how to get up without using my abs. He lowered me onto the couch and pulled me off. Took care of all the grocery shopping, cooking, and cleaning. He kept track of my meds, got up every few hours all night to get me my pain meds until I could sleep through the night without needing a dose. He did this all with such tenderness! Hugs, kisses, and he held me gently whenever I could be comfortably arranged to be held. He brought me coffee in bed every morning and helped me sit up, and fixed my pillows just so. I cannot express how meaningful this was to me. no one has ever taken care of me like this. Not even my own parents.

I have hyper-independence as a trauma response to my neglectful childhood, and in preparation for my surgery, I almost meditated on accepting help and not trying to do things myself. My doctor was very clear that my best outcomes for surgery were to not do anything but rest and go for walks! Partner was an enthusiastic support in that. He would gently chide me if I got myself out of bed or got myself dressed. He never made me feel like taking care of me was an imposition. He told me to have friends over as much as I wanted, but not to arrange a care rotation: he would take care of me.

The experience of being cared for so gently, so lovingly, so intentionally has rewired my brain. It has changed me, and I can't even quantify the hows and whys of it all yet.

There have been many unforeseen impacts of my hysto, but one of the most profound is that I know I am loved, I am loved, I am loved.

[romeulusroy]

Succession Preference: Dating A Political Figure

Requested: would you write preferences about the roy siblings with a significant other who is a successful political figure?? i feel like it would be an interesting concept especially with connor running for president & shiv being a political consultant - anon

A/N: I love this my love!!! Thank you for requesting!!! I hope you like it!!! Feedback is always appreciated 💜💜💜

Connor thinks your political hold is great for his presidency. Very nicely you sit him down and explain that being president isn't an easy thing, it's not something you can just decide to be one day. He's not really listening though, assuring you his campaign won't hurt yours. It might even make yours better! Who knows? You can't stop him, you would never want to, it makes him so happy. But you definitely put some distance between what you're doing and what he's doing. You're doing the real thing, with goals and issues and a real idea of how to do your job. Connor just decided one day that's what he was going to do after a lifetime of doing nothing. It can be frustrating, especially when you're known as President Roy's first partner. You're actually doing something that will have an impact. You know his siblings don't actually believe in him, nor does his father. You're the only cheering him on. It comes with a lot of conflicted feelings.

Kendall feels a lot of stress. He can't help but spiral anytime something doesn't 100% go your way. He's very reactive. You're the one who's able to take a step back, look at the whole picture, and find a way to fix the problem. Most of the time it's not even that big a deal. So some of your numbers are a little low, you can always make up for it later. You're the one calming him down, reminding him that this is a long game you intend to play well, with lots of strategy. He can't help it, you know this. When something goes wrong in his world everything, absolutely everything, falls apart. He's so proud of you, too. When he's not freaking out, he's bragging to anyone who will listen that he's dating the next President of the United States. You wouldn't go that far, you laugh, but you can dream. He doesn't get too involved, not wanting to mess things up, but he'll always ask you how it's going. At night, in bed, the two of you debrief your days. What did your campaign manager say about this or that? Was Logan any nicer today? How are Shiv and Rome? When is your next speech? Your days are stressful and all-encompassing, but your nights together are anything but.

Shiv loves helping you with your career. All her life, she's been ignored. By her father, by her mother, by her brothers, by everyone she's ever worked with because she is a woman. Because they have already decided she's hysterical and stupid and not as powerful as they are. She doesn't want to overstep at first, but your career is new, and you're still building your image. You know Shiv is smart. You know she knows what she's doing. When she's not competing with everyone around her, she can actually think through every decision and have the best outcome. You two often spend date nights going over speeches, campaign ads, slogans, meetings, etc. You try to change the subject, not wanting your whole life to become this, but Shiv doesn't mind at all. She loves it. Not only is she helping you, which she loves, but she's finally starting to feel heard for the first time in her life. She knows you're going to be one of the greats. She does. And she's gonna help you get there. You're a power couple. No one is going to get in your way.

Roman my baby my baby, you're my baby doesn't get involved at all. He says it's because politics aren't his thing, but really he's afraid he'll mess everything up. He got involved with Mencken and that went pretty well. After he starts dating you, he makes sure his public image remains neutral. He gives Mencken to someone else, wholeheartedly standing behind you. He knows the politics of his fathers business. The backstabbing, the lying, the cheating. He expects the same kind of cat fights from you and your opponents. You remind him that you don't run like that. That's not your style. You run a clean, fair campaign. Your opponents can do and say whatever they want, but you won't be dragged down to that level. You know what they say about politicians. . . He's got endless jokes lined up. You don't mind, you know the reputation you all have. But you're trying to do better, be better. You think people deserve honesty, they deserve the truth. Roman can't believe it, you've got no skeletons in your closet. He assumed everyone did. Everyone else in his life did, at least.

[eliziarts]

It really gets me how you can't say shit about Helluva Boss (or Hazbin Hotel for that matter) to actually critique without fans getting buthurt, and the only people agreeing with you people who just hate Vivzipop (for the record i dont lol). But here are my gripes that I wish people were actually talking about (btw I really *want* to love Helluva Boss and none of this is mean-spirited, just things I've noticed that I wish the team would fix, or I believe are beyond fixing):

1. The very confused tone. I know a lot of people deflect any criticism from the show by saying 'oh but it's a comedy you shouldn't take it too seriously'. Here's the thing- it's literally taking itself too seriously. There's a balance that a show can have between dark elements and humor, but Helluva Boss consistently tries to tackle very, VERY heavy subjects. This combined with the Brandon Rodgers-essque d!ck joke comedy doesn't.. work. At least not in the way they're attempting. I think the most egregious example of this is the scene in the latest episode when Moxie's dad is literally threatening to kill him if he doesn't follow through with an arranged marriage... immeadiatly followed by Moxie walking though a hall of wall d!ldos. It kind of says, 'hey, we were taking this really seriously 2 seconds ago, but jk actually now you should laugh!'

Juxtaposition doesn't work if it actively confuses its audience on what to feel. I'm not sure how much influence Vivzie and Brandon have on the outcome of the show vs the rest of the writing team, but it seems like Brandon's humor and Vivzie's tendency to write melodramatic soap opera scenes just aren't really meshing together quite right. I wish it had more similar pacing and tone shifts that HH had, because it felt more sudden in a purposeful way, rather than 'we're too lazy to find a good transition between these two scenes.'

2. Why does Vivziepop never write interesting female characters? I know this is talked about a bit more, but it's growing increasingly prevalent in Helluva Boss. We still haven't gotten an episode focused on any of the female leads that's actually about *them*.

Millie is practically nonexistent without her relationship to Moxie. Even the episode where we meet her family, it doesn't give us any insight about her. Every time she goes feral(tm) it's either to save her husband or it's part of a group fight. The only backstory we got for Loona was there to service Blitzo's character, and show us *his* reaction. The only things we've seen with Octavia were put there to help us learn more about Stolas. Even in the scene where they only had Loona and Octavia on the screen, it didn't feel like it was about them at all. It didn't feel like the scene existed to show us them bonding about their shitty dads. It felt like the scene was there to once again ask the audience to give Blitzo and Stolas pity points. Which- brings me to my next problem.

3. Its justifications of abuse. I know they're in hell. Most of them should be shitty people, and they are! But I wish the story would stop trying to pretend they're not. Helluva Boss keeps doing this thing where it draws a line between 'good' abuse and 'bad' abuse. And this kind of completely changed Stolas and Blitzo's relationship. Ik some people may like this change but I personally don't.

Earlier on, we were made to believe Stolas kind of fucked up by cheating on his wife. Not only did this affect Stella (tho ofc we later learn it's due to image reasons) but his daughter as well. It's just generally an uncomfortable and tricky situation. And I liked it! It was interesting and had levels of nuance. However, now that we know that he was basically being abused by Stella this entire time, and met Blitzo when they were kids (which is a WHOLE OTHER UNCOMFORTABLE CAN OF WORMS LMAO) the audience no longer feels like Stolas did anything wrong. Now his actions feel justified.

As much as I loved his confrontational scene with Stella the first time I watched it, as I know many people did, I also know that it kind of ruined any sense of nuance that whole situation had. Now, Stolas suddenly has been absolved from any previously implied mistakes. And, Stella is portrayed as this 1 dimensional cruel monster.

Which brings me to the point of abuse in this show. It's a very prevalent theme, and it's a heavy one for a show branded as a sit-com to portray (hard, but not impossible). But it fails on the end that it doesn't stay consistent in its condemnation of it. Every time a character does something 'bad', as soon as we find out there is a reason for this bad behavior, the show suddenly makes it seem like we should feel bad for them and that their actions are justified because they're a broken person. See: the narrative around Stolas' affair suddenly being changed as soon as we find out he was being abused by Stella.

Inconsistent emotional consequences in writing is lazy for sure. But the real problem is when it gets to the abuse side of things, it can actually become harmful. It's implied that Blitzo had an emotionally abusive relationship with Verosika. But ohh we know he had a fucked up childhood and has fear of forming emotional bonds so! Geuss it's okay! But when it comes to Stella, she's just downright mean, 1 dimensional, and literally says she's doing things for no reason other than to make Stolas suffer.

It's important to note that every single time a character gets a *reason* for their assholery, it becomes a *justification* in the way the show frames it. But whenever a character doesn't have a reason for being as asshole, like Stella (at least not one that's shown), that's where the show then draws the line.

This is harmful! Hate to break it to you but the bulk of abusive people out there were abused themselves. They have multitudes of reasons for why they are the way they are. But that doesn't excuse their actions! And I really hate that this is the standard of framing Helluva Boss has set up for their show because now, no matter how bad a character's actions are, they can slap on a sad backstory and suddenly make that character a sympathetic one.

Yeah but anyways idk. If you read all of that I thank you for taking ur time to listen to my 2 cents. The last episode I really enjoyed was the Ozzie's one and I'm just kinda bummed at a lot of this stuff I mentioned.

[whotf-atemywaffles]

Betty

idk what my obbsession is w bucky rn (its august) (I write my fics in advance bc i forget otherwise lol im planned up till october)

(High School!Au)

Pairings: (Highschool!Au)Bucky Barnes xreader   (Highschool!Au)Steve Rodgersxreader

Summary: A Teenage girl reflects on her past mistakes and decides to apologize to her ex-boyfriend, Bucky, for hurting him. She faces her fears and goes to his party where she apologizes and they eventually start dating again, taking things slowly. They spend the summer together and fall in love all over again, but know they have to face the reality of going back to school.

“Bucky, I won't make assumptions about why you changed your homeroom during the school year, but i think it's because of me” you sighed after speaking to yourself in the mirror, it was summer now..

How could you fix what happened? What do you say? what would he say when he sees your face again? would he tell you to go and fuck yourself? you stayed silent, looking in the mirror, trying to find the words for an apology, “Bucky, one time i was riding on my skateboard when i passed your house, and it felt like i couldn't breathe'' No that's stuipid. he had heard the rumors from Tony, usually you can't believe a word he says, but this time, this time it was true. as you stared at yourself you couldn't help but try not to look yourself in the eye, you had hurt Bucky, deeply. You took a deep breath and tried to calm your nerves. You knew you had to face Bucky and apologize for what happened, even if it meant getting rejected. You couldn't keep avoiding him forever. It was time to face the music and hope for the best. What was the worst possible outcome? What if you told him it was just a summer Fling? You're only 17, none of you know anything, except you, you knew that you missed him.

Where did it all go wrong? Was it when his favorite song was playing from the farside of the gym, during the school semi-formal? and you were nowhere to be found because you saw him start to dance with a blonde girl from your calculus class? Or was it when you saw him at the party, and he was making out with someone else? It didn't matter now. What mattered was that you needed to talk to him and apologize. You couldn't let your pride get in the way of that. You took a deep breath, grabbed your skateboard, and headed to his house. It was time to face the music and hope for the best.

it was Late, and a friday night…when you got there bucky had been throwing a party, would he let you in? Or tell you to go fuck yourself? would he even want to see your face again? as you walked closer to his house steve drove passed you, he said “Hey, Y/N Need a ride?” smiling “Sure” you had replied not thinking about it even though Steve had been part of the reason you were in this position. Steve unlocked his car door and told you to get in. we drove, into the summer sunset, days turned to nights as you slept next to him, but dreaming of bucky. Eventually after you got back from your little getaway with Steve you started to walk to Bucky's house again once again. It was a Friday night…there was a party.

As you approached the party at Bucky's house, you could hear the music pumping and laughter coming from inside. Your heart raced as you knocked on the door, not knowing what to expect. When Bucky opened the door and saw you standing there, would he tell you to go fuck yourself? Lead you to the garden? Kiss you in front of all his stupid friends?

You took a deep breath and tried to steady your nerves as Bucky opened the door. His eyes widened in surprise at the sight of you, but before he could say anything, you spoke up. "Bucky, I know I hurt you and I'm so sorry. Can we talk?" He hesitated for a moment, but eventually nodded and led you to a quieter area of the party.

Yeah, I showed up at your party. Would he have you? Will he love you? Will he kiss you on the porch In front of all his stupid friends? If he kissed you, will it be just like you dreamed of? Will it patch your broken wings? I'm only 17, I don't know anything But I know I miss you

You explained everything to him, how you were a stupid teenager who didn't know what she had until it was gone. Bucky listened to you intently, his eyes never leaving your face. When you finished, there was a long silence between you two, standing in your cardigan. You feared the worst, that he wasn't going to forgive you. But then he spoke up, "Y/N, I forgive you. I've missed you so much." You felt tears prick your eyes as you hugged him tightly, relieved that he was willing to give you a second chance.

a week later you decided to start dating again yet taking things slowly You spent every moment that you could with Bucky, trying to make up for lost time. You went on long walks, visited museums, and saw movies together. It felt like you were falling in love all over again. As the summer drew to a close, you both knew that you had to face the reality of going back to school.

A/N Buckys POV coming next week!!!

[veintrry]

past life.

scaramouches pov completely, minor angst(?), mentions of corpses for comparison sake

summary! scaramouche comes to a great realisation seeing you / after he reverses to the past instead of erasing memories? nangs -tame impala but past life by the same artist is a better fit

The ways of Sumeru had become natural to him. There was little left for him to consider as foreign, after all, he had already wanderer here before. Through his attempts to resolve the past he discovered that though he could relive the things he cherished, some things, some are simply inevitable. I suppose time can only do so much. He thinks he wasn't enough to stop these events. Then he wonders, was he made to merely suffer constantly? To never feel anything other than...disappointment.

That didn't matter, he'd simply try again.

He thought he was done by now, seeing old friends pass, until you came into the picture.

This was the first time he's seen you, but he knows that isn't true. Something is familiar; You've met.

It's weird though, not because he recognises you, but because he can't remember. That wasn't like him, he has an astoundingly good memory, always had, and with all the hours he spends reminiscing on the past there is no way this being -- you -- would slip from his thoughts.

He departs from his current duties, not caring to maintain surveillance over a project he already knew the outcome for, it'll arrive sooner or later with or without his instruction.

The harbingers' steps are confident, embracing the persona he had long worn like new skin. You didn't seem abnormal, not for this place. Your appearance would blend in with everyone else if it weren't for how his violet eyes stayed fixated on you like a crow or a stage light, shining a strong illumination onto your figure, making everyone around you practically disappear, fade into the background like bothersome noise being blocked out.

He examined you, your attire, your hair, all of you. He'd scan your body for any marks, scars, burns, moles, any hints to help him.

This was unusual, it felt sick in a way. But this hasn't happened prior and he has met previous friends before. You were friends, he assumed.

Scaramouche was stupid to. He was an idiot to not consider that surely there might be more. But why, why would he think that when you were nothing to him? You were nothing to him. Right?

He felt the circuits in his body churning back and forth quicker the closer he got, the cogs in his mind turning rashly, and he slowly began to remember, he began to recall; then he wished he didn't. You changed right before him. You warped from this familiar stranger he spotted to that who has been buried deep in his mind. You are that corpse that plagues his mind with memories of you even after death. Memories of you festered like maggots at a corpse, but none were enjoyable to recall despite his recollection of his time with you speaking otherwise. It doesn't feel good, none of it does; It hurts.

Like ink splashes it taints his mind but rather than the deep black void of life you expect, there are but only glimpses of you, tainting the paper, tainting him. And these stains he found he could not cleanse, he could not remove or erase but he could only hide. Hide it like he hid his origin, his lack of being.

And he stops. He stops everything: Walking, thinking, breathing.

This is enough.

His eyes merely fixate onto you, never wandering as they widen, but it isn't shock that swirls in those eyes but regret, and he winches. Why was it that he was so bitter about this? … He bit the inside of his cheek, his eyes narrowing on you. He's rejecting it, rejecting you.

It's true that he went back to fix things – try to at least – but this, this he couldn't do. He just couldn't. Scaramouche- Kabukimono- Whatever, or whoever he was, he knew one thing; He didn't want this again. Not after all he's done with everyone else. He doesn't want this, not anymore.

He feels fear. Because, what if he tries only to fail? What if he comes to love your company only to lose it, again? What if this, what if that. What if he still isn't enough.

The man pays no regard to the people that walk around him, seemingly ignoring his existence, and if anyone notices his intense staring they don't point it out to you. He's glad, maybe that way you'll be void of any interaction. Yes, it's better this way. He convinces himself. Everything is better this way.

Slowly, he begins to take steps backwards, and with each step back he is dissipating. The him you knew is leaving, fading, for now he was only to play his role as it should be. It is what he should be best at, he was a puppet, he was made to play a role, and this; was the only one he was good enough for.

You turned then, not in his direction. You were leaving the stall, you were walking away, he watched your legs stretch, the swaying of your arms, the look on your face. You looked content, just normal. Just normal. He bets he could make you feel better, then he shuts that thought, telling himself to not be so invested in a stranger.

That is all you are, all you ever will be. And you, you won't view him the same, you won't even know he exists.

Despite you being a stranger, you still receive deep violet hyacinths at your door. You wonder how many there are, no notes. They're pretty, you keep them. You keep a part of him. That's enough for him, he lies to himself.

[deathlessathanasia]

do you believe that any mythological female character (especially mortal characters) can be considered "feminist"?

i see people saying "medea is a feminist!" and i think how a woman who doesn't show care for other women is a feminist, since feminism presupposes female collectiveness. then i see people saying "medea isn't a feminist and we have better examples like penelope" and i don't see how a female character who is an example of the female status quo is feminist, since feminism presupposes going against the status quo

the discussion continues (just changing the characters) and i can't agree with anyone. i don't think any of them are anything like "feminist" and i don't think a female character with decent development is inherently feminist. that doesn't make them bad characters, they're just not feminists (not unexpected considering the time)

as I see you posting a lot of books that you study, i was curious what your take on this would be

I wouldn't call any figure from Greek mythology feminist and I find discussions like this pretty annoying and useless given how watered down the concept of feminism has become. At most it could be said that (some of) a mythological female character's words or actions can be seen as protofeminist, but not the character as a whole.

Medea is wonderfully complex and what she says about the female condition in Euripides' play is very poignant:

„Of all creatures that have breath and sensation, we women are the most unfortunate. First at an exorbitant price we must buy a husband and master of our bodies. [This misfortune is more painful than misfortune.] And the outcome of our life's striving hangs on this, whether we take a bad or a good husband. For divorce is discreditable for women and it is not possible to refuse wedlock. And when a woman comes into the new customs and practices of her husband's house, she must somehow divine, since she has not learned it at home, how she shall best deal with her husband. If after we have spent great efforts on these tasks our husbands live with us without resenting the marriage-yoke, our life is enviable. Otherwise, death is preferable. A man, whenever he is annoyed with the company of those in the house, goes elsewhere and thus rids his soul of its boredom [turning to some male friend or age-mate]. But we must fix our gaze on one person only. Men say that we live a life free from danger at home while they fight with the spear. How wrong they are! I would rather stand three times with a shield in battle than give birth once.”

Is she a feminist though? It's not like she advocates for women's liberation from those unfair conditions even though she is so aware of them, or as if she uses her abilities and talents to help other women.

Penelope is clever and resourceful and resilient, but not sure what exactly would make her a feminist. Klytemnestra defies expectations for how a woman should behave by taking a lover and murdering her husband, but she also kills Kassandra, a defenseless woman who never purposefully wronged her in any way. Helen could be interpreted as a liberated woman who willingly left her family for whatever reason, but a woman doesn't become a feminist simply because she does what she wants