#chapter 11 coming....... extremely soon

[whinlatter]

‘Hermione, the attendees just survived a war,’ says Seamus impatiently. ‘I think they can survive a piss-up in a creepy old mansion.’

🪶 read the author’s note for c.10&11 (spoilers!)

🐾 listen to the playlist

🪺 watch the trailer 

🦉 thoughts & questions? ask me anything!

[bbkoolkatz]

𝖋𝖆𝖙𝖊 𝖈𝖍𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖓!

comment to be added to the taglist for this story!

»»————> presenting;

pairing: barbarian!prince! Katsuki Bakugo x chief!daughter! reader.

synopsis: an arranged marriage to the prince of the barbarian clan to save your kingdom from being wiped out... cliche innit. stem's off the MHA fantasy au!

content warnings: FEMALE READER! strangers to lovers! slow burn! MHA fantasy AU! adult themes! arranged marriage! sexual content! rough n gruff Katsuki! mentions of blood in a lot of scenes! rituals! dub-con in some scenes! (for caution, because y'all can't understand each other) if u're religious, PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!! angst! fluff! smut! WARNINGS APPLY TO ALL CHAPTERS!!! and are there to exercise caution!

updated on Wednesdays and Saturdays!

𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖑𝖔𝖌𝖚𝖊↓; 2.5k+ words

»»————> LORE! [you can continue without reading all this]

the barbarian clan is known for conquering any village, kingdom and/or empire. they are brutes, usually settling anything by waging war and desecrating the land.

the barbarians speak in old Norse! conversing is difficult...

Katsuki is the only son and prince of the barbarian clan.

barbarians are stronger and bigger in size than regular humans.

your kingdom is ruled by your father—called cheif instead of king—who's a big softy and doesn't see the point in things like war... he prefers to talk things out and leave casualties to a zero. even if that means marrying off his only daughter...

you are the only daughter of your father which only makes you more precious and worthy of bearing the heir of both your kingdom and their clan.

tetsugami; a huge, semi intelligent crab. [there are few now as people have hunted them down to the double digits.]

crimson dragons; giant flying lizards. [they are very friendly despite their mean looking faces & their scales are extremely valuable.]

(more coming soon)

Old Norse Alphabet;

1. A/a- Pronunciation: ah as in "father."

2. B/b- Pronunciation: b as in "bed."

3. D/d- Pronunciation: d as in "dog."

4. Ð/ð (called eth)- Pronunciation: Soft th as in "this."

5. E/e- Pronunciation: eh as in "bed."

6. F/f- Pronunciation: f as in "fox." Between vowels, pronounced as v.

7. G/g- Pronunciation: g as in "go." After certain vowels, it softens to a y sound.

8. H/h- Pronunciation: h as in "house."

9. I/i- Pronunciation: ee as in "see."

10. J/j- Pronunciation: y as in "yes."

11. K/k- Pronunciation: k as in "king."

12. L/l- Pronunciation: l as in "lamp."

13. M/m- Pronunciation: m as in "man."

14. N/n- Pronunciation: n as in "name."

15. O/o- Pronunciation: aw as in "law."

16. P/p- Pronunciation: p as in "pen."

17. R/r- Pronunciation: Rolled r, like in Spanish or Italian.

18. S/s- Pronunciation: s as in "see."

19. T/t- Pronunciation: t as in "top."

20. U/u- Pronunciation: oo as in "moon."

21. V/v- Pronunciation: Often interchangeable with f, pronounced like English v.

22. Y/y- Pronunciation: Similar to ee but with rounded lips, like French u in lune.

23. Þ/þ (called thorn)- Pronunciation: Hard th as in "thorn."

24. Æ/æ- Pronunciation: ai as in "air."

25. Ö/ö- Pronunciation: ur as in "bird" (without the r).

M-LIST!

𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖑𝖔𝖌𝖚𝖊 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 1 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 2 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 3.5 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 3.5

marriage. the best thing that could ever happen to a girl. all your life, you'd imagined being a bride; delicately decorating your hair with wild tulips, adorning your body in silver and white silk. spending the rest of your life with the person you love most.

now you're here, kneeling in front of a bonfire beside a complete stranger, cloaked in boar fur and animal skeletons, as the thick, warm blood of a lamb is poured over you. your marriage ceremony... filled with unfamiliar faces—including your now-husband—and traditions. drinking, dancing, and celebrating the union.

"nú ger hana konu þína!" a spiked-blonde woman, with an uncanny resemblance to the man kneeling beside you, announced, raising her hands in the air. you looked around confused as ever, as he leaned in, blood-stained fingers pulling you in by the back of your neck. your nose scrunched at the metallic taste of blood that his tongue shoved past your teeth. you push him away, gasping at the foreign feeling.

"hvat í helvíti, kona!?" he frowned, turning away from you, mumbling something under his breath, that you didn’t quite catch. not that you'd understand what he was carrying on about anyways...

the spiked-blonde woman—whom you guessed to be some sort of priestess or elder—shot you a sharp glare, her arms lowering slowly as she spoke in a hushed yet commanding tone. her words were incomprehensible to you, but the crowd seemed to murmur in agreement. your husband huffed, his frown deepening as he looked at you over his shoulder. you were kneeling there, with eyes pressing on you from all directions. the fire crackled in the silence, and the warmth of it did little to ease the chill settling in your chest.

two women approached you, their faces painted with intricate swirls of red and black. they tugged you to your feet without a word and began guiding you toward a tent decorated with bones, animal pelts, and dried herbs hanging from the entrance. inside, it was dimly lit by a few small lanterns. the air smelled of earth, smoke, and something sweet but unfamiliar.

they gestured for you to sit on a low stool and began pulling at your ceremonial garb, their movements quick but not unkind. your protests fell on deaf ears as they stripped you of the heavy fur cloak, wiping the blood from your skin with damp cloths. one of them muttered something, shaking her head as she scrubbed at your face. it was clear they didn't understand you either, but their disapproving looks were universal.

by the time they were finished, you were dressed in a simpler gown of rough-spun fabric, a far cry from the silks you were used to and had imagined for your wedding night. the older of the two handed you a wooden cup filled with a thick, bitter scented liquid. she pointed to it, then your mouth, her expression stern. reluctantly, you sipped it, grimacing at the taste. the woman nodded, seemingly satisfied, before they left you alone in the tent.

you sat there, staring at your hands, trying to gather your thoughts, but instead, they drift back to just a few mere hours ago...

-

"arranged?" you seethed in disbelief, looking at your defeated father, seated across from you at the council table, surrounded by old wrinkled elders.

"yes, daughter," he affirmed, voice devoid of emotion. "war against the barbarian clan would destroy everything we've built—"

"so they made a proposal, a very very rare one," one of the wart ridden elders interrupted-

"to make an arrangement," another continued-

"one that cannot be broken once forged," -

"a marriage,"-

"your sacrifice would save us all, child," the eldest croaked, concluding the proposal, "and as the chief's daughter, it is your duty to your people." one after the other, they all slowly turned their heads toward you, kneeling at the center of their godforsaken grey gazes.

your eyes flickered between them, their crinkled foreheads making you feel sick to your stomach as their words wrung your heartstrings. "marriage is sacred... it can only happen once. i don't know this person that you'd like me to be bound to for the rest of my life..." you snarled, stating the very obvious to those expired raisins.

"i'm afraid you misunderstood us, girl," the eldest fumed, weakly slamming his fist down, "it is arranged. you will wed the heir of the barbarian clan. that is why you have been summoned." firmly raising from his seat to intimidate you.

"that is my daughter you're speaking to, elder... as old as you are, mind your tongue." your father shifted his attention to you. "unfortunately, he is right, my dear. it's already been arranged, and you are to be wed at sundown."

dumbfounded... that's the look on your face. they we're giving you away to complete strangers... and at sundown!? despite all the colorful words that wanted to fly out your mouth, you grit your teeth and settled with a curt nod. you do have a duty to your people.

though it wasn't supposed to happen like this. it was supposed to be the happiest day of your life. you only get married once in your entire life after all.

-

the sound of heavy footsteps outside the tent snapped you out of your thoughts. the flap was pulled aside roughly, and your husband stepped in. his presence filled the small space, his broad shoulders and wild blonde hair almost brushing the top of the tent as his crimson eyes bore into you, a mixture of frustration and curiosity in his gaze.

he said something, his voice sharp and demanding, but you could only blink up at him in confusion. "i don't understand you," you said softly, shaking your head, as your voice trembled, despite your efforts to stay composed.

he huffed, combing a hand through his hair before pointing at you and then gesturing to the pallet of furs in the corner of the tent. his tone suggested he was giving you an order. when you didn't move, he groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"leggjask. sofa." he barked, his frustration very much evident. when you still didn't respond, he crossed the space between you in two long strides, grabbing your wrist and pulling you to your feet. the roughness of his grip made you wince, but he didn't seem to notice as he guided you toward the furs. he pointed again, his expression leaving no room for argument.

you hesitated, thinking that maybe he wanted you to lie down, and slowly you lower yourself onto the makeshift bed. he stood over you for a moment, his intense gaze making your skin prickle, before he turned and left the tent without another word.

you let out a shaky breath, your heart pounding in your chest. you were alone in an unfamiliar place, surrounded by strangers who you couldn't even get to know, married to a man you didn't understand. tears pricked at the corners of your eyes with the overwhelming thoughts, but you blinked them away, refusing to let yourself break down on your wedding night.

the two women that cleaned you up earlier came back with him, and they began to remove his furs. you quickly averted your eyes, feeling a heat crawling up your neck, as the thought of them removing more than just his cloak tainted your mind.

"nei!" the old one scolded, "Þú verður að líta!" ... why are they babbling their jibberish when they know you don't understand them... "she said, 'you must look'," the younger translated, seeing the confused wrinkle in your brows. oh thank the gods! you smiled briefly at the familiar words before coming back to your senses.

"must i?" you blush, slowly turning back to them.

"yes," she smiled, cleansing your huge husband before your eyes, "if you do not, you give chance for another woman," she carefully rubbed the damp cloth over his bloody forehead while you let the thought sink in.

"leave," you softly ordered, "I'll take care of my husband," and without hesitation she whispered to the old lady, they dropped everything and left. ain't no way you were about to let your husband be seduced away on the night of your union...

gently, you wrung the cloth of most of its water and brought it back up to his face, wiping away the dust and dried blood that covered little scars freckling his almost perfect face.

his eyes burned through your skull with his staring, slowly scanning over the curves and dips of your body as you moved. your finger danced over his skin, tracing the scar on his right cheekbone, moving down to brush past his thin lips, wiping away the remnants of dirt on his well built, chest. he seemed to relax against your touch, closing his piercing crimson eyes, and hanging his head back to let you do your work.

so soft... and smooth... the texture of his skin isn't what you expected. who would've thought that such a rough looking barbarian had the skin of a baby? would explain all the scars though. like this one running down his neck to his collarbone, and these over here trailing down his firm biceps. you almost forgot you were supposed to be cleaning him up... you've finished the upper half and tugged at the leather holding his pants up, struggling to get them undone.

a low chuckle rumbled in his throat and your eyes shot up up to his smirking face, "what's so funny?" you quiver, frowning, as he shifted to stand, undoing the leather and dropping his pants to the dirt floor. "þar," he rasped, smug at your flustered state.

having those women clean him up was starting to seem more and more reasonable now... nevertheless, you dippied the cloth in the bowl of warm water and squeezed it, before wiping at his lower abdomen. you're so adorable between his legs like that, avoiding his eyes at all costs, while you wipe your way down and around, to his back. again, your hands moved of their own accord, twitching along the scupletd bumps on his back.

he grunted softly as your fingers worked over the knots in his shoulders, his broad frame shifting slightly under your touch. emboldened by the lack of protest, you continued, pressing harder into the muscles along his spine. his head dipped forward, and a low sigh escaped his lips, sending a wave of warmth through you. he brought a large hand up to yours on his shoulders and guided you in front of him.

both your eyes reflected in each other's for a long moment before you tried to break the silence, your words sounding like nonsensical ringing in his ears. he pulled you into his chest, just holding you there in an attempt to shush you, closing his eyes as his brows pinched over them.

"what's your name?" you asked softly, your voice barely audible over the crackling of the distant bonfire. you paused, waiting for a response, but he didn't seem to react, his eyes still closed as if savoring the moment. you tried again, a little louder this time, "what is your name?" you pointed at his chest.

he peeped through his eyelids, a sliver of vermilion meeting yours with a flicker of confusion. "nafnið mitt?" he asked, the foreign words rolling off his tongue. he tilted his head, as though trying to piece together what you were asking.

you frowned, gesturing to yourself. "i'm…" you said your name slowly, pointing at your chest, then gestured to him, raising your brows expectantly.

he blinked, mildly confused, before a smirk tugged at his lips. "Katsuki," he said, his voice low and rough. he tapped his chest, meeting your eyes again. "Kat-su-ki," he repeated, in the same manner you pronounced yours, ensuring you understood.

"Ka-tsu-ki…" you tested the name on your tongue, the unfamiliar syllables feeling oddly satisfying. his smirk widened slightly, pleased that you had caught on.

you nodded, offering a small smile in return, then gestured to yourself again. "my name is…" you repeated your name slowly once more, hoping to bridge the language barrier. his brows furrowed, lips moving as he attempted to mimic the unfamiliar sounds. his effort was clumsy but endearing, and you couldn't help the small laugh that escaped you.

his frown deepened at your amusement. he murmured your name under his breath a few more times, his pronunciation improving with each attempt, until he finally said it with enough accuracy to make you grin.

"that's right!" you cheered softly, nodding in approval.

he held your gaze for a moment longer, his expression unreadable, before his hand came up to gently brush against your cheek. his touch was surprisingly tender, his calloused fingers rough against your skin, but warm.

"sofa," he murmured again, his tone softer this time. he gestured toward the furs, his crimson eyes watching you closely.

you hesitated, unsure if he was commanding you or simply suggesting something. this is it. you thought, heart racing, as you slowly nodded, giving him a glance over your shoulder, before crawling onto the makeshift bed.

he stood for a moment, watching as you adjusted yourself among the furs, before he joined, sinking beside your head with his weight on his palms, caging you in under him. his hair fell beautifully over his narrow, glowing eyes, his nose brushing against yours as he lowered to your quivering lips, sucking them between his, tugging at your plump bottom lip with his teeth.

footsteps thumping right outside your tent made your heart race, thinking someone was coming, but he didn't stop, nor did he care, he hiked up the thin fabric of your dress, his large hand caressing your upper thigh as he shed the leather covering his— good god... you look down and your eyes widened. he smirked and hooked the strap of your dress with a finger to pull it down, and expose your heaving chest.

"Katsuki!" the blonde woman from earlier yelled, barging into the tent, "Tak hendur þínar af henni, þú þarft at vera við ráðsafn. núna!"

"För Guðs sakar, kona!" he yelled back, moving himself off you to sit. he looked up at her worried frown... "Ek kem..." you had no idea what was happening... eyes darting between them as their words flowed out of their mouth and their hands moved in frustration as they spoke.

katsuki looked back at you, a worried expression overtaking the lustful one he had mere seconds ago. he kneeled down kissed you, then threw on his cloak and left. the woman rested a comforting hand on your shoulder, gently smiling before she too headed out, leaving you alone, following behind your husband.

»»————> 𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖘𝖑𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘; <————««

❈ "Nú ger hana konu þína." - now make her your wife

❈ "hvat í helvíti, kona!?" - what in the hell woman!?

❈ "þar" - there

❈ "nafnið mitt?" - my name?

❈ "leggjask" lie down

❈ "sofa" - sleep

❈ "Katsuki! Tak hendur þínar af henni, þú þarft at vera við ráðsafn. núna!"- katsuki! take your hands off her, you need to be at the council gathering. now!

❈ "För Guðs sakar, kona!" - for gods sake, woman!

❈ "Ek kem..." - I'm coming...

hope u enjoyed and look forward to more! don't forget to comment to be added to the taglist! mwah~♡

mlist!

[kloofspeaks]

The Creation of a Physical Copy of Coming Home (But Not to You) - The complete summary

Since, I promised I would update this as soon as I started working on it and boy, has it been several hours of me trying to learn how to use Microsoft word, hundreds of songs in my Jayvik playlist and perhaps, a small minor emotional breakdown. I have gotten Coming Home (But Not to You) formatted for bookbinding.

I hope @lesbianherald knows that they have not only written about 678 pages of a glorious and beautiful story but when in book format, that comes out to be 340 pages which is bigger than Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare (which.. you out wrote him twice). I swear, I promised to update you and that’s literally all I have besides a minor practice signature before I venture out to find a book suitable to hold the piece and paper that looks a tad more vintage.

The first draft pages in word looked like this, this was also MY final concept before I went out of my way to make a little page design in procreate. (Featured later)

The Artist featured also gave me permission to use this for this personal project. Please, check them out with this link here: X (their art is gorgeous)

[Written January 3rd, 2025]

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

Okay, we’ve settled on some covers. Might be wondering why I didn’t want to make one from scratch? I didn’t want to weather it, personally. It’s a lot more work and the threading and binding itself is going to take most of my time. I’m working on A4 (Actually, it ended up being smaller than A4 at about 11 by 8.25 but when folded it’s 5.5 by 8.25) paper format, having to adjust my measurements as we go because they were drastically different in the word document. I edited some of the features of the pages and actually sketched out a design for my Cricut to use for the cover and chapter page emblems for just a little personal flare!

I actually went to the thrift store and broke apart books that werent in use to provide me a proper book board because the ones I had were too thick! Reuse and recycle, baby! (All for the power of Jayvik)

A little thing about this project is that I actually bought weathered paper for this! Yeah, that.. it didn’t end up coming LMAO. I did buy some book corners for some metal flare. The hexcore design I drew out, myself, in procreate and also cut out in Cricut (thank you, TikTok tutorials).

A little fact as well; I haven’t bookbinded in 3 years! My books when I started were actually GOD awful— which is also part of why I chose a base book frame because that was my biggest weakness when it came to this. The binding itself was actually the easiest part to me when I started! I kid you not, I did very much come out of retirement because of Jayvik. I wanted a physical book I could mark and leave notes on, so why not make it myself? I’m extremely thankful, I got permission to do this and plan on doing this with another one of my favorite Jayvik fanfictions once it is completed, so perhaps… maybe. I don’t know, after I had gotten all the signatures out I had realized that the book covers used WERE TOO SMALL! This is the book before pressing for over 48 hours and in a middle of a snowstorm!

[Written on January 6th, 2025]

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

And the book is binded! I had used wax thread which is already thicker and way more durable and actually made for bookbinding. It has already had about two layers of glue on the binding but I tend to do about four just for extra strength and protection. It should be going in the book in about a day or two, which will lead to the final update of this!

It took me about three well-spread out days, six hours of actual sewing and teaching myself how to use a curved needle without violently stabbing my skin but I was able to get the box-stitch in.. I tried to even out the layers as I had binded too fast in one part and two signatures ended up being uneven, whoops. I fixed that with a tap of a literal hammer (No pun intended) but this was truly an experience. The parts with the open black page on front is when the stitching was glued and the book pages were placed on. This also meant I had the actual book for it to sit in ready. Which was crazy to think about.

Would you believe me if I told you I measured this all by eye and had to cut the pages four different ways to make this book actually become a book. The next paragraphs will be glamor shots. Thank you for sticking with me�� encouraging me on this because of my LACK of experience in this entire field and prayers for my poor fingers.

[Written on January 13th, 2025]

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

And we’re here, it’s finished and settled. Here are the glamor shots. I do plan on doing more bookbinding in the future as I DID enjoy the process but folding and making signatures will forever be my enemy. Here’s the glamor shots and underneath the cut is all my reactions and build up to finishing this monster of a book.

A couple things, I never want to do this again. If I ever do a fanfiction THIS big again. I’m spilting it into two books, perhaps even three depending on how big it is. The symbol on the front is the Piltover symbol, I tried to find Jayce’s Talis house symbol and THERES NOTHING, I literally tried drawing and everything. My Cricut didn’t want to cut it and trust me, I tried for over three hours with the symbol.

What only matters is that I think it’s cute. I think the simplicity and mix of tears added to the final design a lot more than I thought it would.

If I ever do this again. (Knowing me, I will.) I plan on revisiting this, probably make another version when I have more bookbinding knowledge under my belt LMAO, but enjoy this lengthy post. I’m now going to go to bed.

Also huge shout out to my Zelda art book for being my primary book press for this entire thing. I really need a book press.

[Finished, January 14th at 12:08 AM, 2025]

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

[damn-stark]

Chapter 11 Eternal eclipse

Chapter 11 of Tragedy at the Miller’s

A/N- This chapter was an emotional one to write, more than the previous one

Warning- ANGST, talks of violence and death, thoughts of suicide, spoilers for season 2, Remember this is a rewrite not an AU, so the major stuff that happens in the show will happen here :)

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader (platonic of course :), OC x Fem!reader

Episode- 2x03

(If you want to be tagged let me know!)

————

What sweet escape is there from the deafening echoes of your father’s screams torturing your every waking second?

What mercy will erase the violent memories of him getting violently beaten to death?

What trick can you play on fate so it can cut your life line and stop you from hearing your father's last words repeating again and again, adding to that merciless torture?

“Don't look…baby.”

What is the answer to all your loaded questions? If it was not Abby, then what?

You look around the clinic bathroom for a quick answer, something that will let you join him quickly, but you find nothing until…you look past your reflection. There in the depths of that steaming bath water is your answer…

Nothing can be as painful as the torture you went through, and will go through from here on out, so there’s no hesitation or fear. You were supposed to undress and wait, but you dip in the bath, getting quickly enveloped by the steaming water, and seeing darkness when you close your eyes.

A part of you expects all that grief and trauma to follow you, but there’s a peaceful abyss in the darkness, so you sink under and wait to finally be complete with your family.

It’s the only way to know peace again. It’s the only way to end the pain that awaits you. It’s…the only way to be with him again…

Yet…you can almost muster a laugh when you hear the door open, letting in fate’s intervention. Your husband, Apollo.

Said man sees you completely sunken in and reaches in to pat your shoulder, making you rise from the water and not care to wipe the water off your eyes when you open them. You just sit there with your eyes downcast and dark, with the horror still clinging to you.

“I told you to wait for me,” he says the same way he’s been speaking to you since you reunited in the middle of the street; softly and like he’s afraid that if he speaks any louder, he’ll hurt you in some way.

“At least you helped by loosening up that dry blood,” he adds so he knows he’s not scolding you, he’s just reminding you kindly of what he told you—“I'm going to start with your face, okay, my love?”

You don’t respond or acknowledge him, you simply sit still as he rubs soap on the rag and then gently touches your face to gently and slowly scrub your father’s blood off your face.

“Maria and Tommy will be back, they just have to take care of other things around town,” Apollo fills the morbid silence. “Our friends will come visit soon, and my dad will take Teddy home later. If not, Maria said he can spend the night with her.”

Finally, after a long silence, you shake your head, letting him know without a need for words that you want Teddy to be home, and he doesn’t argue against it, not in your state.

Apollo would actually not dare to try and upset you at all, thanks to Maria and Jesse, he knows why you returned home in such a disarray. He doesn’t know what exactly happened or how exactly you got hurt, but he knows enough to ask for time off work to be with you and be extremely gentle with his words and actions.

He wants to know how you ended up getting hurt, but he can’t bring himself to ask, so he has no choice but to wait to read the reports. Until then, he just washes the blood off your face, and when there’s no trace of red left, he moves onto your hands, skipping your throat because the nurses had cleared that area when they tended to your wounds. However, when he starts scrubbing your hands, he notices how filed down your nails are, and the cuts on all ten of your fingertips, almost as if you had scraped your fingers until they bled.

Once again, he doesn’t ask; he just tends to you quietly until finally you lift your eyes off the water and pull one hand away to start signing.

Now, he doesn’t know as much as you do, but he knows the alphabet, so he understands when you sign, “ELLIE.”

“Oh,” he gasps and lets his hand hang over the bathtub to give you the answer you seek. “She had some broken ribs. They’re tending to her now by the best doctor, Mia,” he lets you know with a smile in hopes you’ll mirror it, but you just express faint relief and a light nod.

“She’ll need to stay here until she heals,” Apollo continues to share. “Which is good knowing her. She’d probably try and get back to work tomorrow.”

You nod again in agreement and then pull yourself closer to the edge of the tub to ask after someone else.

“DINA,” you sign, making Apollo continue scrubbing your hand.

“She’ll be fine. The drugs have worn off, and they'll tend to that frostbite on her hand,” he lets you know, making you let out a short and deep breath of relief before you continue to look down at the water.

“And you,” he adds sweetly and with another sweet smile. “Will get to go home today. There’s no need to stay with a bruised throat. I think you’ll be more comfortable at home anyway.”

Home…

It’s supposed to bring you peace. It’s meant to be an escape from the everyday commotion of work and this apocalyptic life. You hoped with every fiber of your being that it would be an eternal escape anyway, and in some way, it is some escape. Home does offer some peace, but only because it offers sanctuary from the outside world.

You don’t fear that the infected will roam the streets, that’s not why you don’t leave home when you step foot in it. Home doesn’t keep the violent and painful memories away; no, you have those every day and every night.

When you close your eyes the first night at home, you think you’ll be in that peaceful abyss once again, but you end up back in that lodge, seeing your dad slowly slip away right in front of you.

Every single night it’s like you’re being tortured, feeling every raw ounce of grief and crippling pain. It reaches the point that Theo needs to start sleeping in his own room so he wouldn’t be startled awake by your screaming. You had advised Apollo to do the same, but he refused to, so every night, like clockwork, he wakes up to you screaming and offers you the comfort of his soothing embrace.

Apollo is the sweet reminder that you’re not there again, so you keep him close. Being near him or in his embrace eases your pain and makes days easier to navigate, but he’s not enough to ward away your paranoia. It’s why you don’t leave home for three months, because home is a sanctuary. Home keeps you from failing your dad again, it keeps you from being taken back to that lodge again and watching him get beaten to death.

Albeit eventually, sometime throughout those three months, Apollo has to return to work. He’s the head of the construction unit now, you see, because the previous one died, so who else can fill his shoes but the man he mentored?

Yet you’re not alone. You’re never alone when he’s gone. If it’s not your Uncle Tommy, it’s Maria, or Mia. Even Dina is around sometimes, but you’re never at home alone.

That would annoy anyone; it would annoy you when it hit a certain point, but why would a corpse be annoyed?

That’s what you are. A shell of a person who has a beating heart, working lungs, but no soul. It was sucked right out of you, leaving you roaming the earth like a corpse.

You do eat, but hardly. You take care of your son, but every achievement he makes passes over your head. You listen to Apollo, your Uncle Tommy, Maria, your friends, and Dina talk, but you never respond to anyone besides mindless nods and blinks.

Life just passes by. The snow melts, the bitter coldness begins to leave, and day by day spring slowly takes over the earth, but everything might as well be bitter, dull, and lifeless because you don’t bother to care.

It comes to a point where everyone who loves you, except for Ellie and Jesse, meet up at your house to talk about you, thinking you’re busy putting Theo to sleep. Albeit he's quick to fall under the spell, so you overhear everything that is said.

“It’s been 3 months, Mia,” you hear Uncle Tommy raise his voice at your friend. “If something is wrong with her, you need to tell us.”

“N-No,” Mia argues. “Nothing is wrong with her. Her wounds have healed. She should be able to talk now.”

“Then?” Your uncle quips with worry.

Mia sighs, and there’s a moment of silence before you hear Gail, Mia’s adopted mom, speak up for her daughter. “It's a trauma response. She may not be doing it on purpose. It’s her mind's reaction to everything that happened that day, but now it all depends on her. You can’t force her to speak. She needs to decide on her own.”

“And if she never does?” Maria asks with the same concern that everyone in that living room carries.

“Then she never does,” Gail puts it bluntly. “But either way, I’m going to start her therapy tomorrow. That's what you still want, Apollo?”

A second of silence passes before you hear your husband speak. “Yeah. We've been putting it off for long enough, and I…I don’t know how to help her anymore. Her nightmares don’t stop, and I…I don’t want her to suffer anymore. She doesn’t sleep. She doesn’t eat. I…don’t want this to take her. So please. Come.”

Tears slip from your eyes, and you rest your head against the wall as you take in his words and think about everyone gathered in your home, worried about you.

You don’t want them to be worried. You don’t want to be a burden. It’s all just…impossible.

Life…without him…

If you make a sweet escape, no one will worry. You’ll be no one’s burden, and most importantly, you’ll be with them again; Sarah and your mother, whom you never got to meet but was your dad's great love, according to your Uncle. Most importantly, you’ll be with your dad again. You crave that sweet afterlife so dearly…

An end to the pain…

However, one of the reasons you don’t take that path suddenly stirs awake and looks up at you with his father's sweet eyes, making you wipe your tears off your cheeks and muster a soft smile.

——

*THE NEXT DAY*

And then, in the silence of the day is an interruption. A disturbance in your day-to-day life.

Yet even though you were broken from the spell you were under, you don’t move to open the door after a visitor rapped their fist on the wooden door. You don’t pretend to be busy, you remain seated in your rocking chair with your blanket covering your legs and your crocheting project in the same state it’s been for the past three months, just a square.

The visitor, on the other hand, walks into the living room trailing after your Uncle Tommy, revealing themselves to be Gail. As predicted.

“Hello,” she greets as she walks past your Uncle to stand at his side and face your pathetic state, and since you can’t speak, you just offer her a tight-lipped smile before you look down at your crochet square and pick up the needles to pretend to be busy.

“Well, make yourself at home. I’ll be close by,” your Uncle Tommy interjects in the awkward silence, taking no time to turn away and walk off, leaving you alone with Gail and her intentions, you really don’t plan to entertain.

“Well, you can put that shit down, we both know you weren’t doing it before I got here anyway,” she says bluntly, making you pause and wait a moment before you drop the needles and keep looking away.

“We’re also not going to pretend that you don’t know why I’m here. You’re smarter than that, so get up and come with me.”

You draw out a deep breath and slowly raise your head to face her with a glum look, making her think you’re going to give her a hard time, but you pull the blanket off your lap and toss it on the couch before you rise off your seat.

“Good,” she praises you and doesn’t fret to walk off. You follow after her at a normal pace, not giving much thought to her grabbing a bag next to the doorframe, and not asking questions about where she’s taking you. You follow her until you notice that she’s heading to the backyard. That's when you stop in front of the back door, hoping that the door will close behind her, securing you inside, but Gail is quick to notice that your footsteps are not trailing after her, so she turns and manages to catch the door before it closes.

“Come,” she beckons you outside. “Just to your backyard.”

You step back, telling her that you refuse to follow along now, but she takes a step past the door as she keeps it open, and hardens her gaze.

“There’s no point in making you,” she argues. “But if you want to be difficult, I will be difficult right back. Come. Outside. I need you to see something.”

You think about her threat and know she means it, but what is her persistence compared to what she wants to show you?

You have an idea as to what she may want to show you after all, and even the thought of it makes you want to cry.

“Ellie gets out of the clinic in a week,” she then cuts through the silence to share that bit of information about a girl you haven’t gone to see in three months.

“Do you want her to see you the way you are? Is that the example you want to give your sister?” She cuts deep, forcing you to think about what she said and come up with an answer, which is no. You don’t want her to see you the way you are. That’s not the image you want her to have of you after she gets out of the hospital.

You want her to see someone…handling her grief. An example of strength so she can be so and know that it will be okay. Yet how can you be the very picture of that with the way you look now?

Thus, you drag out a deep breath and step forward, making Gail offer you a tight-lipped smile before she continues her path outside.

This time, you trail after her, and the moment you step outside, you gasp deeply as you’re hit with the simple touch of fresh air. You then immediately shield your eyes from the sun’s rays breaking through the branches of the great oak trees that live around your backyard, and duck your head whilst your shoulders tense up as you’re offended by all the noise that travels through the sky.

When you finally manage to catch up to Gail by the garden of wildflowers, your discomfort slowly washes away. The sun still slightly burns your skin and bothers your eyes, and the noise is just as annoying, but you don’t let it drive you inside. You let it all be as you keep your eyes on the vivid green leaves that decorate the oak tree.

“Look down here and tell me what this garden means to you,” she gets right to business with a strict and professional voice.

You remain defiant though and let your eyes wander the trees, feeling the sun stop burning and start feeling warm and kind against your skin.

“Look,” she presses with her voice raised, and so you proceed to blink and drag your eyes down, but you keep every feeling, thought, and memory at bay.

“So?” Gail probes.

You simply shrug, making her sigh and crouch to study the little yellow rue flowers that take part in the great wild garden.

“I think these Rue flowers are lovely,” Gail shares her thoughts, making you cross your arms over your chest. “When did you plant these?”

You don’t say anything, of course and since she already knows the answer, she continues for you.

“Was it after you came back five years ago? They’re very pretty.”

You bite your lip and glance away.

“These purple ones are really nice too,” she adds, and so you grip onto your arms and keep your eyes averted.

“Everything is just so lovely. I think there’s a purity to flowers. Grace. A resilience and a rather dependable beauty in this new life. You know? Infected roam the earth, bad people live amongst us, but this…these flowers are something you can always count on when you want to see something so perfectly beautiful. Furthermore, when you can’t see them, at least you know they’re still here, growing tall even through it all.”

You look down and see the picture she paints with the flowers. You can understand everything she says, but every personal meaning you have connected to all that’s beautiful is still kept away.

You meant to lock it away in the dark corner of your mind, but you weren’t strong enough, so it came rushing down. The only thing keeping it from completely crushing you is your fight to keep it at bay.

“Oh, ok,” Gail sighs and pushes herself to her feet before she pulls out something small from her bag that fits in her balled hand.

“If this doesn’t mean anything, then you won't mind if I torch it, right?” She says and catches all your attention.

“Tell me,” she huffs and reveals a match and a striker as she opens her hand. “What does this wildflower garden mean to you?”

You watch her pull out a match and hold it up between her and you.

“The yellow flowers are Rue flowers. You planted them with your dad in memory of your mother. Am I right?” She asks, and since she doesn’t get an immediate answer, she answers for you. “Yes, I am right.”

You swallow thickly and drop your arms to your sides to ball your hands tightly in defiance of what she threatens to bring out.

“The rest of these beautiful flowers are a reminder of who you’ve lost, right? Right.” She nods. “But mostly your sister. The one you and your dad adored. The one who looked after the both of you. The one you would spend breakfasts with just before she had to go to school and your dad had to go to work—”

You shake your head, and your eyes begin to sting along with your throat as your mind slowly gives signs of pain.

“These flowers aren’t just a reminder of her. But of that life with her and him. They’re the reminder that no matter what, your sister and now your dad will always be with you. Even if the flowers themselves aren’t showing, you know that they’re still here, underground, in the same way your dad is and will always be here. With you. Even if he’s not alive, he’s still here…with you. So what if I torch it?”

She won’t do it.

She won’t dare to, so you don’t give her what she wants or what she threatens to set free.

You remain defiant, so she chuckles maliciously and lights the match before she holds it up between you and her again.

“You think I won’t do it?” She reads your mind and smirks at you before she tilts her hand down to let the match dangle between her fingertips.

“Watch me,” she snaps, and you see her loosen her grip, making your heart begin to race with fear.

“I won’t let it burn my fingers,” she adds and looks down at the match before, in the blink of an eye, she lets the match go, causing your eyes to widen, and a breath to catch in your throat seconds before you reach over with the attempt to catch it.

Albeit you’re too slow, the match hits the ground, and the flames don’t hesitate to start wanting to consume everything in its path. So before they can kill the beautiful wild garden that holds everything sweet and hopeful, you quickly stomp out the fire and look at her bewildered and with tears welling in your eyes.

“Tell me,” she insists softer, and this time, after she almost took it all away, you feel it break like a weak dam.

Everything you tried so hard to keep away comes bursting out like a cascade of water, and when that happens, there’s no way of trying to put it all back in. It’s too late and impossible. Everything comes apart.

Every attempt to keep every feeling back washes away. The memories of the day you lost your dad are loud, and his last words are even louder, but it’s every single memory where he wasn’t being tortured, where you were happy, and when he was simply alive, that consume you completely, dragging you under the surface where you can’t breathe because of the emotions that come rushing up your throat, and where you can’t see because of the tears that cover your eyes.

The only way to breathe is by coming up for air, so you do. You surface and take that breath, and when you do, you can’t help it, you start to let out a mighty, painful wail like never before as if you had been holding everything back and only now were able to let it out.

It hurts. It really fucking hurts. It’s like every part of you is on fire, but you can’t stop. You let it all out and continue to wail for the father you loved and lost.

You lose your balance and fall on your knees. You almost fall on your hands, but there to catch you is none other than your Uncle Tommy, who had been on standby by Gail’s instructions.

“It’s okay, baby girl. It’s okay.” He whispers as he cradles you. “I’m here.”

You grip onto him and part your lips to utter your first words in months. “He’s…he’s gone,” you say hoarsely and wail again before you bury your face in his chest and sob like the day he died.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “He is, but never forgotten.” He whispers, and you cherish it as you weep and continue to weep. The pain of grief and loss doesn’t wash away with all your tears, nor does it just go away when you muster the will to speak again. Maybe grief will be a long companion, but the wildflowers are vivid with color, the sky is a sweet hue of blue, and the sun is brightly yellow.

“I think…these flowers will look just perfect in your garden.” Your Uncle says after Gail left, and you were able to stop crying, and able to pull yourself away. “Don’t you think?” He asks and pulls out a couple of lovely blue Irises still connected to its root, begging for it to be part of the dirt so as to not die.

“Gail brought them for you to plant,” he says, giving you the answer as to why Gail was carrying a bag that she left here.

“Where should we put them?” Your Uncle asks and brings the flowers down to a spot already occupied by many a flower. “Here?”

You scoff and remark at him hoarsely. “Are you jokin’?”

He sniffles and flashes you a sly grin before he gets on his feet, making you mirror his actions.

“There,” you point out and lead him to the spot to give your new flowers a place to thrive.

After a while. After you planted the Irises and spent time in your wildflower garden, basking in the sun your body has lacked for three months. Apollo comes home from work, finding you and your uncle sitting on the bench swing.

“Hey,” he says with an air of disbelief and hope as he sees you outside for the first time in months.

“Hey, Apollo,” your uncle greets your husband as he walks over to join you by the bench swing.

“Hi,” you still can’t get your voice to sound clear, but it’s not like it matters to Apollo; he still looks at you with shock, pride, and a twinkle in his eyes.

“Oh my god,” he gasps and quickens his pace to reach you faster, making you get off the bench swing to let him embrace you and undoubtedly hug him back.

“I’m so proud of you, sweetheart,” he coos as he holds the back of your neck with one hand and rubs your back with the other.

“Teddy?” You ask for your one-year-old.

“He was sleeping, so I put him to bed.”

You hum before you hug Apollo tighter, not saying it then, but demonstrating how much you love him.

You can’t even begin to fathom how alone he must’ve felt in the time you didn’t talk, and you were there physically, but mentally, you just weren’t there.

He could’ve given up or not been so patient, but he never complained or turned his back. He held you every time you woke up screaming and when you’d cry in the middle of the day.

“Well,” your uncle breaks you and Apollo apart, but you don’t stray from one another. He keeps his arm around your waist and you tuck your hand in his coat pocket—“I’m going to head out now. You’ll be okay?”

You sigh shakily and nod ever so lightly. “Yeah. Tell Maria not to come tomorrow. I…don’t know what I’m going to do, but I know I don’t need to be looked after anymore. Thank you.”

Your uncle scoffs. “Of course, Sunny. Don’t mention it, but how about dinner, then? At our place? It’s okay, don't bring anything with you.”

Without needing it to be discussed, you nod to give your uncle the okay, making him smile before he begins to head out.

However, before he can leave, you break away from Apollo to catch your Uncle in an embrace. “Thank you, Uncle Tommy,” you whisper shakily.

“You don’t have to mention it okay?” He assures you. “It was nothing. We’re family. Always.”

You nod, and he holds you closer before he interjects.

“You remember where we put your dad to rest, yes?” He asks.

“Yeah. I remember,” you let him know and then pull back. “Get home safe.”

He scoffs and nods before he waves Apollo goodbye and then leaves, leaving you and Apollo alone in the garden where you look at the flowers and think of everything you need to tell him. Everything he needs to hear after three months of you being…not here.

“Apollo,” you don’t hesitate to say, and look away from the flowers to meet his already attentive gaze. “I—”

“Don’t say it,” he cuts you off and closes the gap to be face to face with nothing but an inch of space left between you—“it was really nothing and we made a promise to each other the day we got married. For better or for worse,” he repeats those sacred vows. “I meant them and I live by them not only because you’re my best friend, but because I am in love with you and I couldn’t abandon you when you needed me most.”

You move in, leaving no gap left to be able to grab his hand and be physically connected. “But that’s it, you didn’t abandon me, and for that I will always be grateful. So thank you…I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you.”

He shakes his head and brings his other hand up to cradle your cheek with his warm palm. “And you don’t have to. Ever so don’t look at it that way because you’d never want me to see it that way. Right?”

“No.” You shake your head right away, making him flash you a smile before he lets your hand fall to hold your face with both hands and keep your eyes on his so as not to stray even an inch.

“Tell me, what do you feel now?” He asks.

You cup his hands and sigh. “Like I’m here…my heart was beating and my lungs were drawing in air before, but I was never here. My body was only an empty shell. But now…now I’m here and it hurts so much worse, but,” your voice trembles. “I want to try and…make it hurt less. I want to keep talking to Gail.”

Apollo sighs with relief and then caresses your cheeks. “I’m glad to hear it,” he says. “Really. I’m proud of you.”

You draw in a shaky breath before you drop your head on his shoulder, letting him press a gentle kiss on top of your head before he wraps his arms around you once again.

“I’m here,” he whispers.

“Me too,” you whisper back and let a silence linger before you break it with a desire. “I want to go pay my respects. I want to see my dad's grave.”

“Of course. We can go whenever you want.”

“Now,” you blurt and pull away to find his gaze. “Please.”

Once again, Apollo is too kind, he gives in. “Okay. Let me just let our friends know. They want to accompany you, if that’s okay?”

You nod. “Yes, of course. I’ll get Teddy ready and we can go.”

He hums, and without delay, you do as you agreed upon. You wait for Teddy to wake up first, and then after he’s ready, you gather your friends, ride out of town, and find yourselves in Jackson’s cemetery occupied by all of the loved ones everyone’s lost.

You have never had to come until now, but you find no trouble in finding your father. You wish you had struggled to find his grave to have time to process the fact that he’s buried here and that you’ll never get to see him again, but you find his name amongst the row of other dead and instead linger behind to take time to process the fact that he won’t be waiting for you, or meeting up with you. You have to walk to his tomb placed where he’ll be forever. Even when you’re nothing but bones as well.

No one rushes you, though. They let you take your time and wait with you until you’re finally able to approach the tomb.

“Hi Daddy,” you greet, and for the first time in thirty years, you cast a shadow over him. “I know…it’s been a while. I know I wasn’t here when they buried you, but…I’m here,” you cry and crouch down, reading the words carved on the wooden tomb.

‘Joel Miller’

‘09-26-1967 - 01-01-2029’

‘Beloved Brother and Father’

“I’m sorry,” you blurt after you read the carved letters. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I,” you stammer. “I did try. I’m sorry.”

Footsteps close in on you before a shadow casts over your figure, swallowing your shadow before you feel a warm hand on your shoulder as they crouch down by your side, revealing themselves to be Apollo and Theo in his arms.

Apollo doesn’t proceed to say anything; he just stays by your side with his hand on your shoulder, stopping you from saying everything else you had to say, everything that was already written out in your mind after months of thinking about it, and leaving you with that weight on your chest.

“Teddy, why don’t you put the flowers down for your grandpa,” Apollo tells Theo, who’s already come to visit your dad with your Uncle Tommy and Maria.

“Just there,” Apollo instructs your son before letting him go, making you hand him a bunch of yellow Rue flowers that Teddy places down without a struggle.

“Good job, Teddy,” Apollo praises him, making the boy turn to smile with glee, and causing you to clap for him and his great achievement.

“Good job, baby,” you follow up by saying as you wipe the tears off your cheeks and offer him a sweet smile, making the boy get the idea to walk over to you to hook his arms around your neck and cling onto you instead of his dad.

“You did good,” you whisper to him and cradle the back of his head, remembering at that moment the first time your dad saw Theo and held him.

He was so happy that you thought his heart would give out with joy. He also struggled to hand Theo back, so you thought he’d leave with him.

Now…your son will grow up and not even remember him. He’ll know him by all the things you’ll tell him. Other than that, he’s too young to remember how much your dad absolutely loved him, all because…

You drop your head and hold Theo close as if seeking that embrace from your father in someone who’s a part of him. You know it will never be the same, but a part of your dad lives in your son.

“Why,” you pause and clear your throat of that ball of emotions caught in your throat. “Why don’t you say hi to Grandpa?”

Theo pulls away, but keeps one hand around you as he turns to face the tomb. “Ha,” he tries his best to say. “Ha!”

You giggle and kiss his cheek before you stand up with your son in arms, causing Apollo’s hand to slip off your shoulder before he slowly mirrors you and stays by your side.

“I will follow you,” Atlas breaks his silence as he sees you on your feet. “If you want to get justice for what those bastards did, I will follow you.”

“I will too,” Mia proclaims, abandoning her mother-like role in your friend group and showing a fierce and dangerous devotion. “I follow you too. It wasn’t right what they did.”

You keep your eyes on your dad's tomb and hear Mia’s husband chime in next.

“I know I joined your friend group because of Mia, but you’re special to me now too. All of you. And Joel was a good man. I will follow you too.” He pledges and all their words warm your heart. They make you happy, and they let you know that even if you’ve been a bad friend for the past three months, you can still rely on them like before.

Yet as touched as you feel, you know revenge is not what you want.

“Thank you,” you interject and pull your eyes off your dad's tomb. “Thank you, all of you, for your support. I appreciate it more than you know. I do.” You nod and then sigh deeply. “But,” you pause and look at each and every one of them. “That’s not who we are. I’m angry. Sad beyond measure, but I’m not going to gain anything going after the woman who…killed my dad. That’s not going to make my pain any less, and that’s not what I want Teddy to know either.” You express yourself with confidence because no matter what you feel, you know that’s not the path you want to take. That’s not who you are.

“Thank you, though. It really means a lot,” you add softly and look back at your dad's tomb, feeling that weight on your chest push down so heavily that you feel it pushing on your heart.

You don’t like the feeling, but you can’t find a way to get rid of it. Not even finishing what you were sharing before you got interrupted would have been the solution. They were just a manifestation of what you feel and have been feeling, so you don't know what the cure is.

It’s not revenge.

Is it time?

Or…

——

*THE NEXT DAY*

“You don’t think she’ll be mad at me, huh, Teddy Bear?” You ask your son rhetorically, but he looks over at you and blinks as if processing what you asked.

Teddy ultimately doesn’t respond, so you don’t prolong the moment; you secure the bag of goodies around your shoulder and then knock on the door and wait.

Moments later, there’s a response from the other side of the hospital room.

“Come in.”

You open the door and slowly push it open, revealing to Ellie, the patient, that it’s you. After three long months, it’s finally you.

“Holy shit,” Ellie gasps as she sits up straighter and looks at you with her eyes wide. “I thought you were dead. Or completely forgot about me.”

You close the door behind you after you walk in and then respond to her absurd comments. Which are reasonable, but it’s still absurd.

“No,” you argue with your voice still a hint hoarse. “I just…”

“Lost your voice,” Ellie cuts you off more seriously now. “Yeah, I know.”

You set Teddy down and he doesn’t hesitate to roam, taking advantage that he’s not being held, whilst you approach Ellie with your lips drooped and your eyes dull out of guilt and shame.

“It’s not only that,” you share. “It’s…I…felt guilty,” you confess and rob Ellie of her smile and make her slowly frown. “You shouldn’t have walked in seeing that and me on the floor not being able to…uhm,” you pause and clear your throat to avoid crying more than you already have. “Well…stop her. I should’ve,” you pause again and put down your bag of goodies as you stop at the edge of her bed. “I should’ve stopped her even if it had gotten me hurt or killed.”

Ellie stares at you hard for a moment, with the wheels behind her eyes churning fast as different thoughts form.

“For that, I’m sorry,” you finish saying and drop your eyes to try and fight back the tears that well in your eyes, regardless of your attempts.

“I think Joel would have died with you if you died saving him,” Ellie says softly, pulling your eyes off the ground to look at her with sadness—“and,” she continues. “It was a tough situation, so don’t apologize. Besides, he wasn’t my dad. He was yours. I should be the one who’s sorry.”

You take in her words and take a seat beside her to hold her hand.

Ellie looks down at your touch with surprise, expecting an estrangement now that your dad wasn’t alive to keep you talking to her, or expecting anything else but your touch.

“You loved him,” you argue with a small and wobbly smile. “And he loved you. There’s nothing to be sorry about. You lost him too.”

Ellie’s eyes flicker down to your interlaced hands before she meets your watery gaze and breathes out shakily as if dropping a mask that hurt her so much to carry. After that, for the first time, she moves in and surprises you with an embrace.

There’s no awkwardness. Just vulnerability that she lets you see, just like that time after David.

Yet it’s that same vulnerability that makes a different kind of guilt creep in. Yet, you don’t let it affect you at this moment. You hold her tightly, feeling a spark of bliss in your heart that only she was able to make you feel.

“You know…” you pause as you sniff her. “You smell like sweat.”

You pull back and study her face, catching a sheet of sweat glistening over her face, proving that what you smelt was right.

“I hope you haven’t been doing something you’re not supposed to,” you manage to tease her. “My best friend is the doctor of this clinic.”

Ellie scoffs and shakes her face with an obvious lying expression. “Nope, I’ve been sitting here…all day. Every day.”

You know she’s lying, but you’re not annoying about it. Instead, you pick up your bag of goodies and then place it over her legs.

“That’s for you,” you let her know with a happy little smile. “Before the outbreak, if you were in this situation, people would’ve brought balloons and stuffed animals, but this is now, and you get out in a week, so,” you breathe out and pat the bag. “I brought you a bag with foods you like and things to keep you entertained. This last week will be hell, so I think it’ll help make the days pass by faster.”

Ellie groans as she grabs the bag to rummage through it, causing Teddy to walk over with curiosity. “Wouldn’t your doctor let me go now? I feel so much better.” She says.

“Sorry.” You offer her a pitiful frown. “But that’s something I cannot make her do. Trust me. Unless you want her pestering you for a week.”

“No,” she grumbles. “They already check on me more than they should.”

You look over your shoulder to make sure no one is coming and then look at Ellie again as you pick Teddy off the ground and sit him on the bed. “I’m sorry about Dina,” you finally address the situation you’ve overheard Dina ramble about the times she’d visit. “I can maybe start giving her the cold shoulder,” you offer. “Albeit she did visit me and stay with me so…maybe I can keep it strictly professional.”

Ellie scoffs as she pulls out a brownie and breaks it in half to share with Teddy as he grows ever so curious. “Nah, I…learned not to be bothered by what she did. It’s Dina. I assumed she’d forget about it. It’s okay. However, I am sorry she visited you.” She says with a teasing look.

You shrug. “Well, I was out of it, but it was nice. We…share a memory that will always keep us connected, so I’m quite touched she went. It’s Jesse whom I haven’t seen. Has he come to visit you?”

Ellie nods with her mouth full, thus making crumbs fall out of her mouth just like Teddy. “Yeah,” she says with her mouth full. “Plenty of times.”

You hum and wonder again why he didn’t visit you. It’s not like you were impossible to reach, you never left your house.

But alas, you push it aside for now and face her with a faint smile. “After you’re out of the hospital, you are welcome to come stay at my place if going back home is difficult.”

Ellie swallows her snack and slowly lifts her gaze to find yours with nothing to say. She just sighs as her face grows serious and glum.

“Thank you,” she offers you, with no say if she’s going to accept your offer or not.

You don’t pester her about it as long as she knows that’s an option.

“Have you gone to his house?” She asks and looks at Teddy as he asks for more of her brownies.

“Uh,” you swallow thickly. “No. Not yet. I thought about going after this, but I-I don’t know. Maybe...”

She hums and grabs another brownie to share with Teddy.

From there on, you can’t think about anything else but stopping by at your dad's house. You argue with yourself between wanting to go and waiting for a different day.

Gail says it’s okay to take things slow. You’re talking again and no longer trapped in your trauma, so you shouldn’t want to do everything at once, but it’s been three months. That’s what you keep telling yourself until you decide not to go.

You’ll go on a different day, maybe when Ellie goes.

Alas, after the hospital, you find yourself in your dad's street, slowly walking up to his house, fully expecting to see him sitting on his porch enjoying the warm sun until you reach his house and see old and new flowers, drawings, and notes in front of his house in his stead.

The porch is abandoned and has a cold shadow covering the wooden chair where he liked to sit and where you found him for the last time, just at the start of the New Year.

Maybe if you walked to the front door and knocked he’d answer, you thought foolishly until you once again noticed the dozen of notes and bouquets left in memory of him, becoming a cruel reminder that no one would answer the door. No one would sit on that porch again to play the guitar in the sun, or try to fight his sleep as he tried to read.

Maybe if you went inside, you’d feel like a part of him was still there. All of his stuff has gone untouched after all, but when you approach the end of that driveway to prepare to walk to the front door, you come to a sudden stop.

No matter how much you wanted to move, your grief would not let you take a step forward because you knew he would not be there. You knew that you’d no longer have dinners at his house or have movie nights. You'll no longer come and find him and Teddy asleep on the couch, and you’ll no longer have someone to share a cup of coffee.

His house will be alone and a harsher reminder of what you won’t have anymore, so instead of going in, you hang around the fence to read everything everyone wrote and let Teddy see and touch all the things that call his attention.

There’s things that make you smile, but there are more things that make you cry as you read how much he impacted everyone who lived in Jackson.

It all brings you close to finding the strength to walk inside, but alas, you still can’t, so you linger where you are for a moment. When you get ready to leave, you hear someone walk over, so you stop and pretend you don’t hear.

That is until you hear Jesse say your name, causing you to turn and face him with Teddy in your arms.

“Jesse,” you greet with a hint of joy and the hint of a smile, but it’s a blink and you’ll miss it type of smile.

“Were you just coming out of your dad's house?” He asks as he glances over.

“No.” You shake your head and steal a glance at the house before you look at all the things and then at him. “I…couldn’t…you know? But it’s okay, Gail says it’s okay to take my time.”

Jesse nods in comprehension and gulps before he glances at the ground and doesn’t prolong the moment. “I saw you walking out of the clinic, and I thought I’d follow you to uh, tell you first, I’m sorry that I haven’t gone to visit you.”

You watch him and hang onto every word, but wonder why someone usually so confident is struggling to speak.

“And two…I’m sorry,” he says in a quieter voice than the one you’re used to hearing. “I should’ve gotten there sooner. Maybe that would’ve made a difference. Maybe he would still be here and you would have your dad, but I didn’t even catch the ones who did it. For that, I’m so deeply sorry,” he shares what’s kept him away with genuine guilt and shame.

“Oh, Jesse,” you whisper and close the gap between you to grab his shoulder so he can at last look you in the eyes—“you did nothing wrong. Nor do you have anything to be sorry about. Maybe if you had been there you would have gotten hurt too, or worse. What happened that day happened for a reason. So please know that I have never blamed you. I actually wondered where you’ve been.”

He scoffs. “Trying to think of the right thing to say,” he shares. “I just couldn’t bring myself to face you. We are patrol partners after all. Friends too. I just…felt ashamed I let my friend down.”

You smile softly and gently shake his shoulder. “Well, as your friend I want to tell you that there’s nothin’ to be ashamed about. Ok?”

Without making things hard, he nods in comprehension, so you offer him one last smile before you let him go and bring up a question. “You workin’?”

“I have some time until my next shift,” he says, so you nod and then share what you have in mind.

“Okay, cool, come over. I was just thinkin’ about gettin’ some lunch.”

——

*A WEEK LATER*

“You need to take that goat back to the barn,” your uncle tells you for the…third time. Not like you’ll listen or consider it. “It’s goin’ to get attached to ya…more than it already has.”

“What should I name it?” You ignore him as you look at the 1 week old baby goat who was ignored by his mama. “You know that some people believe goats are the devil,” your uncle tries to spook you so you'll leave the goat be, but you get a bright idea for a name.

“Ha, Lucifer!” You snap your fingers. “Isn’t that such a good name?” You tell the baby goat over your shoulder, as it doesn’t fall behind.

“Don't worry,” you now address your uncle as you glance at him trailing at your side. “It’s just until it’s weaned and just while I’m here working on the farm.”

Your uncle sighs since he knows better.

“It seems you're slowly getting your color back,” your Uncle points out as he smoothly changes the subject. “You feelin’ stronger?”

You nod softly. “Yeah. The sun doesn’t bother me anymore, and I’ve been trying to push myself when I’m doing my work.”

“Ok, but as long as you’re not straining yourself,” he warns. “Continue to take things slowly. You’re in no rush. You ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

You huff and flash him a smile, leaving a short silence as you approach the area you’re working at to fix the chicken coop.

Albeit when your eyes land on the area, there in the fenced area between the cows and the chickens are Dina and Ellie.

“Maybe you should give that same advice to someone else,” you whisper to your uncle as you both know that they’re up to something since Ellie is here just after she got out of the clinic after three months.

“If she asks what I’m guessing she’s going to ask, then I will,” he responds before you reach the area and acknowledge both girls.

“Hey Dina,” you greet as you open the fence door and walk in with the goat trailing behind you and your uncle trailing behind the goat.

“Hey…aw! Hello there, goat!” Dina says back with more enthusiasm for the goat than you.

“Ellie, I’m glad to see you’re out and about after just getting out of the clinic,” you direct at her, causing her to offer you a feigned smile.

“They said I should get fresh air,” she quips, making you feign a laugh.

“Girls,” your Uncle greets them. “What brings you out here on your day off? And on your first day out of the clinic, Ellie. Weren’t we all gatherin’ at Sunny’s house later to welcome you?”

She nods faintly. “Yeah,” she brushes him off. “But later I won’t get the chance to share what I just learned, so thankfully you’re both here so I can save some breath.”

You and your uncle share nervous looks before Ellie spills what brought her to the farm while you and your Uncle are working. And it’s nothing good.

It seems Dina finally told her about the girl and her friends who killed your dad, and now Ellie is requesting what you were afraid she’d want. Revenge.

That’s why you haven’t told her about what you know and why you told her you forgot, blaming everything on the trauma of the day. Yet it seems Dina doesn’t have the same precaution in mind. She doesn’t seem to know Ellie like you know Ellie, or else she would’ve never told her.

Alas…Ellie knows, and now she’s here telling your uncle and you to go with her to Seattle, so maybe Ellie doesn’t know you.

Yet you don’t turn her down right away and tell her that. Nor does your uncle turn her down either. Whereas Ellie makes your uncle genuinely ponder, you walk away to grab more wire and pretend to be thinking about the plan when, in reality, you just need time to breathe and gather your thoughts as memories of that day threaten to flood your mind.

You think about Abby, Owen, Mel, Nora, and Manny too. You see their faces every day, but you don’t see red like Ellie. You see betrayal, guilt, a deep aching pain, and a great sadness that threatens to take you down by adding to that unbearable weight that gets closer and closer to crushing your heart.

You hurt differently than it hurts Ellie, and that’s the only reason why you return to where they are to listen, but not even consider it.

“Well?” Ellie questions you and your uncle after you come back, making you put the wire down and take a seat next to your uncle before you bend down to pick the goat off the ground and cradle it in your arms.

“I gotta think about this,” your uncle breaks the silence, saying what you were going to lie about, so you end up being quiet and let Ellie retort.

“Think about what? Let’s fucking get these guys.”

Your Uncle glances over at you as you keep your eyes on the goat, as you try your hardest to fight your emotions.

“Ellie,” your Uncle argues and looks away. “It ain’t that simple. The town is still recovering. So are you.”

“Uh, we get where you’re coming from—” Dina interjects, but gets caught off by Ellie countering with annoyance.

“No, we don’t get where you’re coming from, I don’t get where you’re coming from.”

You clench your jaw and start to caress the baby goat while also slowly starting to rub your thigh.

“If it had been you, or her,” Ellie refers to you too. “Joel would be halfway to Seattle before the sun came up.” She argues, but she argues wrong. She argues completely wrong in your dad's defense. He might’ve been an angry man. He might’ve had a reputation, but he…wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t take a path toward revenge. He only got defensive.

“He’d be halfway to Seattle to save our lives,” your Uncle counters correctly. “But when we lost people, no. It would just break him like it was his fault. I saw that time and time again. And don’t talk to me like I didn’t know him. He was my brother.”

There’s a silence where you finally pick your head up to look over at Ellie, catching her sigh and averting her gaze, which in turn makes your uncle continue more gentler and understanding.

“Listen, I’m not sayin’ you shouldn’t do this. But if we’re gonna put a posse together, we gotta do it right, which means taking it to Maria.”

Ellie’s jaw drops as she’s about to argue against your Uncle, but your Uncle beats her to talking, knowing what she had to say. “Yes, it’s fuckin’ necessary…”

You scoff softly and smirk in amusement.

“She’s gonna want a council meeting,” your Uncle continues. “Open it up to the town. Everyone who wants to get heard gets heard.”

“But you two will back us, right?” Ellie asks, and you catch the hope in her eyes.

Yet even that doesn’t change your mind. Albeit, you still lie and nod so she doesn’t argue with you.

“Of course, I will,” your Uncle gives his genuine response, releasing some tension off Ellie.

“Come here,” your Uncle says as he gets up to wrap her in an embrace that she seems to be tense in for a few seconds before you see her ease.

“And you,” your uncle directs at Dina, keeping to herself in the distance. “You hold out information on me again, you got rendering detail for a month.” He warns her as he and Ellie let go, making Dina scrunch her nose.

“Alright,” your Uncle puts an end to the matter, making Ellie and Dina walk away with the attempt to leave, albeit your Uncle stops Ellie before she can walk past the gate.

“Ellie. We buried our dead ten miles south of town. If you want to visit him.”

You let the goat go and continue doing your job.

“When we're on our way to Seattle,” she says and then leaves after Dina, leaving your Uncle with much to think about.

“You’re actually considering it?” You ask after you made sure Ellie wasn’t near anymore.

Your Uncle pushes himself off the fence and then answers. “‘Course. I’m not thrilled that she wants to pursue revenge, but if she wants to ask the council for permission, I’ll give it to her…will you?”

“I don’t have a say,” you deadpan, making your uncle sigh.

“No, but Apollo does, and what you say goes,” he says what you know and what you were pretending to be dumb about—“Will you tell him to accept?”

You don’t stop working, you keep going and give him a simple answer. “You want the truth? No. It’s not good for her to go down this path. It will get her hurt or worse.”

“Yes,” your uncle quickly argues as he approaches you now. “But if we deny her, she'll find a way to do it behind our backs. It doesn’t end well when you try to forbid the young ones from doin’ something. You were the same, and Teddy and any other kids you might have will be the same.”

You finally stop what you’re doing and look back at him. “I heard her out,” you quip. “I was about to walk away, but I heard her out. I will continue to hear her out when she speaks to the council, but my answer won’t change. She won’t like it, but it’s something I’m more than glad to risk…and it’s because I love her. Now, can we talk about something else and finish this?”

Without any more arguments, your uncle keeps his thoughts to himself to respect your choice.

Later that day, when everyone gathers in your house for the get-together you threw for Ellie, she asks Apollo the same thing she asked you, and he gives her hope since you hadn’t discussed it with him, but your Uncle is right, what you say goes. Your voice is heard one way or another through your husband, and he makes sure to ask for your opinion the next day when you���re lying in bed before you have to start the day.

“I want you to vote no,” you don’t hesitate to share without a doubt. “Whatever she might say, vote no.”

Apollo takes in your words and debates them himself only because Ellie is trusting him with this important decision that may or may not depend on him, and saying no feels like hurting her in some way.

“What if she gets the votes regardless,” Apollo brings up, so you drag yourself back, causing his leg to slip off yours, and feeling a hint of coldness as you pull your head away from his chest to face him with your gaze pointed.

“Then she gets them, but at least I’ll know I tried to put my foot down,” you rebuttal and look into his eyes, catching his doubt, so you sigh deeply and argue in your defense.

“What will getting revenge do?” You ask him. “It's not going to heal her grief. It’s not going to bring him back either. She’s just going to get hurt or worse. I get that she’s angry, I am too, but that’s why we handle it. We don’t chase people across the country for something that can’t be undone.”

Apollo sighs deeply and nods stiffly. “I understand,” he mutters. “She’s just putting her trust in me, you know?”

You swallow thickly and nod. “Yeah, I know. She’s putting her trust in me, too, but we’re the ones looking after her now, Apollo. We have to watch over her and make sure she doesn’t get herself killed. She deserves a good and long life. She won’t get that if she leaves.”

Apollo’s eyes linger on you, letting you see his resolve over the matter, but making you feel bad that he also has to go against her.

“Thank you,” you whisper and cup his cheek before you stroke your hand back to cradle the side of his head, making him smile a loving smile as he strokes your chin and then grabs the back of your head, letting you take that as a sign to nuzzle against him again.

“Will you go today?” He asks with worry. “You don’t have to, I’ll vote no.”

“Mia and Atlas are going to sit with me,” you let him know. “And either way, I’m there to support Ellie. I’ll hear what she has to say.”

He hums, and you go quiet to enjoy the little time you have left in silence before you have to get up. After that, you start your day, and the council meeting approaches soon thereafter, meaning you don’t have to handle your nerves all day. Thankfully.

Yet the same topic Ellie brought up the day before with your Uncle Tommy is brought up again, and you get uncomfortable as violent memories threaten to overwhelm you. You almost get up to leave, but you muster the strength to fight them off because your friends are with you to remind you that you’re not in that lodge, and your dad is no longer suffering.

You’re okay, and he’s…dead…

“Which is why I keep saying we need to invest more in turkeys and less in chickens,” Scott, a Jackson Hole resident and speaker for today's council meeting gets off topic, which you kind of enjoy so the matter can be delayed and your decision along with it—“and that brings me back to my earlier point about corn. Corn, some of you have heard me say, is not the easiest crop to grow, but it’s among the fastest. You can plot a graph that shows ease and resources versus time to harvest and get a li—”

“Scott,” your Uncle cuts his rambling off. “I’m sorry, but we gotta keep you on target here.”

“But it’s an open meeting. The bylaws say that—”

“Maybe we should stick to what everyone else came here to discuss,” Maria interjects now.

“I don’t really have an opinion on the Seattle thing,” Scott inputs now, ending the matter once and for all.

“Okay. Thank you,” Maria says and moves down the list of speakers. “So, that was Scott. Next is Rachel.”

You shift in your seat and keep focused, but as murmuring goes around the room and a baby goes fussy, you can’t catch a word that’s said. If it even was said.

“Can’t hear you!” Someone shouts for the entire crowd, making people go quiet and causing some shifting to happen before you finally hear Rachel’s voice.

“I said that Joel meant so much to so many of us. But he wasn’t the only one.”

You blink repeatedly and drop your eyes to your hands clasped on your lap.

“I-I lost my sister that day,” Rachel continues to say. “A lot of people in here buried family. And now, you wanna send, what are you saying, 16 of our best? Well, while they’re gone, who’s gonna be on the wall if Raiders come? A wall that’s barely mended. And none of you up there can promise us that all 16 will come back. So my heart is with you,” she says and says your name along with Tommy and Ellie’s before she finishes sharing her opinion.

“We are too hurt, and it is too soon.”

You sigh and lift your head to look at Jesse, Apollo, your Uncle, and Maria, all up on that platform as Maria brings an end to Rachel’s time.

“Thank you, Rachel. Next is Carlisle,” she moves on, making the old man stand from his seat to address the crowd.

“I’ll be quick,” he clears his throat. “‘Cause this one’s simple to me. People came and killed Joel. So, why wouldn’t we wanna take our vengeance?”

You clench your jaw and sigh deeply with distress caused by the worry that he’s going to encourage the request.

“Well, because we’re not supposed to.”

You peer over your shoulder and look at the man as he’s caught you by surprise.

“Forgive and be forgiven. No grudges. No revenge. And I’m not even a Christian. I’ve always seen the wisdom in that. That’s what separates us from the Raiders, and the murderers. Our capacity for mercy.”

You take in his words with relief, hoping that his honest and wise words will sway the council to vote no.

Yet your relief is then turned to anxiety when Seth, of all people, cuts in.

“Those sons of bitches don’t deserve our mercy.”

You clench your hands into fists and gain Apollo’s surprised and worried gaze from his place on that platform, so you end up holding in what threatens to break you and express the same surprise, but also share your anxiety on the matter.

“Well, of course they don’t deserve it,” Carlisle argues in between all of the crowds murmuring. “That’s what makes it mercy.”

“Well, to hell with that,” Seth exclaims as he gets up. “And to hell with you for saying it, Carlisle.”

“Seth, sit down,” Maria tries to bring an end to the interruption, but Seth becomes a pain in the ass and holds his ground.

“No.”

“You’re not on the list.”

“No!” He screams louder, causing you to drop your head and exhale deeply.

“What the hell are we all talking about here?” Seth continues. “Boo-hoo, it’s not fair. What, we gotta forgive everybody when they show up and piss in our eye? They came into our house. They took one of ours. My God, somebody shoots your brother, you wanna take the locks off your doors? Grow up!”

You begin to nervously rub your thigh, to the point that Atlas notices and tries his best to try and reassure you by putting his hand over yours.

When you feel his touch you look at him and offer him a faint thankful smile before you wrap your hand around his to keep clinging onto that support as Seth goes on.

“You idiots, they’ll come back. They’ll come back because we didn’t make ‘em pay. And when they come back, they’ll be laughing. And you’ll all deserve it. Bunch of goddamn victims.”

The old man sits down, bringing down an awkward silence that you almost want to leave, but you hold on and listen to the last speaker, Ellie.

After Maria finally gives her the floor, she makes the room go silent for a minute before she gets up and pulls out a paper that she reads off of. Surprisingly enough.

“I normally don’t write things down,” Ellie starts off by saying. “Because I normally don’t think before I talk, which has gotten me in trouble before, a lot.”

Oh? She’s rhyming?

“And it’s cost me in ways that sometimes couldn’t be undone. But I can’t afford that right now because I know what I’m asking is a lot. I’m asking us to risk more people and resources, and at the worst possible time. And I want everyone to know, it’s not because I want revenge.”

Oh?

“It’s not,” Ellie tries to make her lie clear, but she’s not fooling you—“what I want is what you used to give people. I want justice. Because it’s either that, or we do nothing. That’s what everyone else out there is going to do for us. Nothing,” she says with more passion. “A whole world of people who won’t lift a finger if something bad happens to me or you. We have a word for these people. They’re called strangers.”

Atlas snorts quietly over Ellie’s words, so you let his hand go and slowly glare at him, making him go serious right away.

“Well, I don’t think that we’re strangers to each other,” you hear Ellie continue. “And I want to know that I can count on you. And I swear, if someone hurts any of you or the people you love, you can count on me...”

You take this time to smile in amusement at Ellie’s complete bullshit attempt to sway the council's vote.

“…that's what holds all this together. Not potluck dinners or New Year’s Eve dances. Definitely not a wall, because that thing got busted through. But Jackson is still here. I’ll accept whatever the council decides. But I’m asking you, please…do what it takes to see that justice is done. Not for me. Not even for Joel. I am asking you, please do it for us,” she finishes her letter in an emotional ending that she even adds tears to. Whether the tears are genuine or not you don’t know, they probably are but that won't change the fact that it’s all still bullshit.

“Thank you,” Maria tells her, bringing an end to the discussion to finally move on to the voting—“The council will now vote on the proposal to send a party of 16 citizens to Seattle to find the people who killed Joel and execute them.”

As the voting begins, Apollo steals a glance at you, and you steal a glance at him and trust he’ll do what you asked, but it’s the others that make you nervous and make you sit at the edge of your seat as if that would help. It only makes you more anxious.

Either way, like watching a clock, the process seems to move more slowly than anticipated. A couple of minutes drag on, and you almost can’t take it, but alas, all the votes are given to Amy-Beth, the one person who will share the votes with the crowd without fear that she’ll lie.

“Amy-Beth?” Maria encourages, and so said girl starts.

“Yes.”

You swallow thickly and sit up straighter.

“No. Yes. No. No. Yes. No, no. No. No. No.”

You let out a shaky, relieved breath and sit back without that fear clinging onto you a moment longer.

“The vote is 8 to 3,” Amy-Beth clarifies. “The proposal is rejected.”

Murmurs spread around the room, but no one interjects this time because the word is officially given now. There’s no do-overs, just disappointment from only a handful of people. The only one you care about, you don’t look at though. Not yet.

“Adjourned,” Maria releases the meeting, making people not linger back. Everyone but the council and you get up, causing a cluster of people as they all want to leave at the same time. That’s why you finally drift your gaze to Ellie, so your gaze won't be detected as she's leaving.

Alas, when you look at the other side of the room where she had been sitting at, you actually end up catching Ellie’s gaze.

You try not to read too much into it. You don’t want to catch the betrayal she feels because, instead of getting at least 4 definite votes in support of her, she only got three, and it was obvious to guess that you lied and voted against her. You haven’t been able to look at her all day. All you greeted her with was a quick good morning, and you sat at the other side of the room with your best friends at your sides.

You lied and made Apollo vote against Ellie’s request. Against the one thing she desperately wanted. The one significant matter that required your support more than anything, and the one matter that she trusted you to have her back on, but you lied and turned your back on her and that hurt and betrayal is plain to see because of the dark shadow that cast over her face as if intentional so you won't miss a thing.

Alas, as ashamed as you feel. You feel no regrets. You’re determined to stand your ground, and that’s obvious to Ellie as the sun keeps basking your face as if…intentional.

——

*LATER*

After the council meeting, you had purposely stayed behind, welcoming people’s pity and sweet consolations to avoid facing Ellie’s disappointment and anger, but you can’t hide forever, and when you return home, sitting on your porch steps is Ellie waiting for you.

She makes herself easy to see and makes sure you know that she’s not here for pleasantries. She knows you know why she’s here, so you hand Teddy to Apollo and usher them inside.

Once the front door is closed, leaving the porch just to you and Ellie, she is quick to get to the point. “Why did you do it?”

You draw in a deep breath and turn away from the door to face her and exhale deeply before you respond. Or at least you try to, because just as you part your lips, she cuts in abruptly.

“You said you would support me, and you had Apollo vote no, why?” She asks as you see her teeter over an edge where her balance all depends on what you’re going to say.

“Because I don’t want you to go down that path,” you say, and manage to keep her from falling into a pit of anger. “I know it was messed up to lie, but it’s not like you would change your mind if I said no that day you asked.”

“No,” she interjects before you keep going.

“Exactly—”

“But you still lied,” she cuts you off with a narrowed glare. “You said I would get your vote to go get justice for Joel, and instead you want me to, what? Sit idly by?”

You shake your head. “No. I want you to grieve the right way, Ellie. I need you to open yourself up to letting yourself grieve.”

Ellie scoffs and shakes her head before she snaps, causing her grip to loosen. “So what? So I can turn to you and be depressed and pathetic for three months?!”

You blink repeatedly in disbelief and feel her words stab your heart.

“Do you not get what I’m trying to do?” Ellie continues to argue, raising her voice with the anger that seeps through. “I’m trying to get justice! You were there! You saw them! We have to make them pay!” She exclaims almost desperately.

“I was there,” you interject this time before she keeps ranting. “I know! I live through that day of my life every day and every night. I see their faces and see him die over and over again. I,” you pause and sigh to collect yourself and try to explain your reasoning behind your protest.

“I miss him too,” you say instead. “But what you want to do won’t get him back. Nothing you do will get him back, so why risk your life? Why risk anyone else’s life over it? Revenge won’t make you feel better, Ellie.”

Said girl holds your gaze with annoyance before she shakes her head and retorts. “That’s a whole bunch of bullshit and you’re a liar. If you really loved Joel, you would have voted yes,” she doesn’t hesitate from saying, making you gasp softly and feel your eyes immediately well with tears as you feel a sharp heartache.

Yet you don’t dare and use such harsh words like she did. You keep your head up and watch her give you her back.

“I’m going to do this with or without you. I don’t care,” she grumbles and walks off the porch, expecting no response, but before she can leave, you blurt.

“What about all the risks my dad took for you to be here? Will you just make that go to waste? Because if you go, there’s no chance you’re coming back. You will get hurt, or worse, so what will make those sacrifices he took to save you?”

Ellie stops in her tracks and keeps her back turned to you for a tense silence that seemed to drag on for hours, when it's only been a few seconds where you unknowingly lose her in that pit of anger.

“You know,” she mutters before she slowly turns to face you with her face contorted with rage and her eyes oozing with that terrible and blinding feeling.

“You know why he made those sacrifices,” she continues sneering as she strides back to you. However, you don’t let her make it all the way to the porch because you meet her halfway.

“Why did those people kill him?” She suddenly asks something she’s never hinted at wanting to know. She asks for the first time, letting you see a flicker of sadness in her eyes this time.

“The truth,” she blurts as her eyes well with tears, and you gulp and falter.

“They were…after revenge,” you put it simply because you’re sure there’s no shortage of people your dad pissed off. “Just like you’re after revenge, that’s why—”

“Oh shut up,” she hisses and steps forward while she keeps holding your eyes with her watery gaze and pinched eyebrows. “They were from Salt Lake…right?” She asks as she begins to slowly uncover the truth you never got to share, and the truth that threatens to unveil something else you kept a secret

“Right?!” Ellie snaps, making you blink and lower your gaze to nod stiffly and hope she doesn’t probe about the other matter.

“They killed him because of what he did, right?” She asks, getting closer to that secret.

“Right,” you answer, and look at her so she doesn’t catch anything suspicious.

Nevertheless, your attempts are futile.

“And you knew what he did?” She probes as she narrows her gaze to a glowering glare. “You knew and you lied, right? That’s why you were never mad at him, and you…” she scoffs and holds her chest. “And you told me you didn’t know. You let me believe that I could trust you. Right?!” She exclaims, causing you to let out a shaky breath and nod.

“Right,” you whisper shakily before you step toward her and grab her hands to try and make her understand. “But I need you to understand that I did it for you. I was too late to stop him, I wanted to, I really did, but I was too late, so why would I mortify you even more by telling you the truth? So I kept it from you so you could have a good life. Ellie…you deserve a good life. Please—”

“You were too late,” she repeats and nods stiffly before she huffs and spats hurtful words. “It seems you’re always too late. Always too weak. That’s why Henry is dead,” she hisses quietly, making you slowly let her hands go as you're hit with disbelief.

“And that’s why Joel is dead,” she hurts you with those last words, feeling as if the knife in your heart got twisted for something you already blame yourself for. All because you tried to stop her from walking away, and all because you brought up your dad's sacrifices to have her be here.

You unknowingly opened a can of worms, and now you’re the one hurt because of it.

“I won’t sit by like you,” she spats and points her finger at you as tears finally break out of her eyes and roll down her cheeks. “I will make them pay, and I will hate you,” she sneers. “I will hate you for the rest of my life.”

She turns around swiftly and storms away, leaving you more hurt by those words than what she said before, because it feels like another great loss.

.

.

.

.

.

A/N- Seattle anyone?

Tagged- @slut-f0r-u @star-wars-lover @maplecohen @givemylovetoall @itzagothamcitysiren @sammy-13 @beloved-reblogger @emiriia @rues-daya @sunfairyy @littleshadow17 @mcu-starwars @bigtuffswordboy @riaqiax @dheet @queenofthekill @joliettes @d4rno @hardbeingcasual @rana030 @pedropascalluvr41 @ahoyyharrington @beaniebeensbaby201 @maeneedsabreak @maelartasch @adristyles @daughterofthequeen @alastorhazbin @sunsumonner @khaylin27 @hypatia93 @hummusxx @v4mpyk1tten @1donoow @your-shifting-gurl @g4ns3y @izzzzy-the-amazing @aphr0d1teh @lovelyygirl8 @ivy-taylorsversion @mmkkzz @avitute @fuckmebobboys @kitdjarin1

[sukunatoes]

Sanguine Masterlist

True Form Ryomen Sukuna x Female Reader

San•guine

[adjective]

1. optimistic to the point of seeming oblivious or naive

2. blood-red in color

3. bloodthirsty

Synopsis: Everything is in shambles following the Culling Games. Millions of residents are displaced, cursed spirits roam free, and the sorcerers are being stretched beyond their limits. It had been years since you’ve done any work as a jujutsu sorcerer. However when an old friend calls, you find yourself back in the midst of it all and somehow you end up with the most daunting mission imaginable — finding and eliminating The King of Curses, Ryomen Sukuna.

[An AU where everyone, including both Sukuna and Gojo, survives the Shinjuku Showdown]

Content: Enemies to lovers, post Shinjuku Showdown AU, no use of y/n, extremely toxic relationship dynamics, power imbalance, reader is a jujutsu sorcerer, angst, fluff, smut, eventual smut, slowburn, sukuna will have two cocks, tobacco use, alcohol use, canon typical violence, graphic depictions of violence, blood, action, fight scenes, cursed spirits, lots of lore, more tags to be added, each chapter tagged individually

Status: Ongoing (11/45 Chapters)

Story can also be found here on ao3.

18+ ONLY, MDNI

1. An Unfortunate Twist of Fate

2. An Unbreakable Vow

3. Petrichor

4. Intentions

5. Cursed Reckoning

6. Inconvenience

7. What Lies Beneath The Surface

8. The Looking Glass

9. The Ritual

10. Spilt Sake

11. The Price of Pleasure

12. The Moonlight’s Illumination [Coming Soon]

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 80 Nerves Posting

Hello, dear void. The anxiety increases as we inch towards the climax of the arc.

Editor's Comments: First Page: でっけ-書庫 [dekke- shoko!!] "A huuuuuge library!!" Last Page: 己が戦場へ駆��出せ！！ [ono ga senjyou he kakedase!!] "Dash towards your own battlefield!!"

More Kamunabi Lore Dump

Kudou, you're a great person, but I felt seen and heard by Hakuri this chapter.

How I was feeling looking at all the yap in the first half of this chapter.

Ro, head of the Sorcery Nerd clan, having such a high opinion of Hakuri is adorable. Hakuri himself is adorable too. It's now canon that he gets nauseous when overloaded with information or asked to study though (please let this just be a silly gag and not tied to anxiety over trying to please his family). Hakuri, you're the best. I love you.

Following my favourite little guy has given us some insight into the Kamunabi side of things like I hoped. And more insight into the world building! Barrier and movement sorcery being "more academic" -plus some emphasis on how important it is to learn to be useful- makes me wonder if we'll get a Hakuri training arc focused on him making use of what's in the Kamunabi's library. Or maybe having someone like Azami teach him. Who better than the incredibly strong gorilla that's a head above the best sorcerers in the whole organisation?

I'm really sad that one of Hakuri's rare smiles was turned into this though:

Absolutely insane that the "x days since someone slit their throat in front of Hakuri" timer was reset to 0.

This poor kid can't escape people killing themselves in front of him. Then Kudou (most likely) died to save him too. He stays focused but honestly?! I feel like there's a good reason to think he'll burst one day. He's got a similar near-meltdown expression Chihiro had in chapter 11 before someone snaps him out of it. Neither of them are addressing the pain they've been shoving down to get things done. If that's not brought up in some way later on then I'll be disappointed honestly.

But anyway. The guy who killed himself: Ishihira, written as 石枚. 石 [ishi] for "stone" and 枚 [hira] for counter (of things like thin, flat objects, portions of gyoza or soba, ranks, fields or rice paddies, and more). Hokazono having a laugh at naming this guy Mr. Beancounter lmao. I feel awful for him though since the Hishaku are definitely doing dastardly deeds by taking his daughter as a hostage.

The second name we got was much more interesting: Prince Nez, the short Kamunabi guy that trained Shiba and Azami, is Ichiki (壱鬼). 壱 [ichi] for "first/one" and 鬼 [ki] for "ghost/devil". PLACE THOSE TRAITOR BETS! I think we'll have the reveal soon. Azami's busy entertaining Samuraishaku, Kudou just got murked, Eyepatch hasn't been on screen since the trial in chapter 46 basically, and we've seen quite a bit of Ichiki lately while not knowing where he is at present. Hmm.

Lastly, the elite squads.

Hajime...

Hagiwara is alive and not so well. But he's active and fighting at least. Man, he looks so bitter compared to the first time we saw him with the Anti-Kuregumo squad in chapter 11. I hope we catch up with him sooner or later.

I think we should also remember the woman in the panel underneath him. I won't be surprised if she comes back with a name to call her by.

HAKURI

I can't express how much I love him.

His mask is cracked so it seems like his Storehouse sorcery really is on thin ice. But man. He's always so good at thinking under pressure. And he even apologises for hurting the people who are beating him. Hakuri, you're so kind. Probably because he knows pain far too well.

Oh man.

This is extremely interesting framing to me. Hakuri's hand is outside the panel, partially covering up the huge LOVE (愛) in the narration box in Soya's panel. At least that's how it is in JP; I assume the English version will do the same. They got it close enough I guess.

But yeah. What's up with that?

Hakuri overcame Soya's "true love" and killed him to show that he finally broke free from the family bond that kept him trapped and helpless for so long. However, he acknowledged Soya's affection for him as such and doesn't talk about what he actually endured and how it affected him. He's still quite happy to say he's fine and get on with whatever needs doing. I really get the sense that Hakuri doesn't want to think about those experiences at all. He's fine now (he's not). He's okay (he's not). He can still be useful (and thinks he needs to be to be loved). He broke free from his family but not the mindset that was literally beaten into him.

So basically I'm interpreting this as more of Hakuri not wanting to acknowledge who and what gave him the strength to endure this attack and fight back. I wrote 8k words about all this in a different post but man, Hakuri... I hope we do address all the things that have been used against him lingering in his Storehouse.

The other thing I'm thinking of is that Hakuri might be cluing in that Soya's "love" for him (and Kyora's, the same ai/愛) isn't really love after all. But I think that's something further down the road for his character if we do address that aspect of what what instilled into him. Right now we're showcasing the Sazanami influence in terms of him thinking he needs to help and give everything he has for the cause. What love means and should feel like will come when Hakuri's finally ready to address that from a healthier frame of mind, most likely. If it's addressed at all (which I really hope it is).

It's also a bit odd for a reveal that Hakuri was abused for ten years instead of the five that he was "useless" for. Maybe Soya only really went off the rails when Kyora gave up on Hakuri? Or maybe he was abusive in the name of making Hakuri strong once training started? Soya a shit either way, may he burn in hell. Hakuri has better sources of strength now!

When in a pinch, think of the person who inspires you.

Once again he uses Chihiro as motivation to shore himself up and do everything he can. Just don't push yourself too far again... please...

Hishaku Machinations

It's all going to shit, just as planned.

Using Hakuri as bait, huh. Who is considered to be in the "main forces"? What's the ultimate goal of putting Hakuri in peril? Is he really the heroine of Kagurabachi? (Yes to the last one, apparently.)

The most obvious answer to the questions would probably be that Hakuri's intended to bait Chihiro away, probably to free up Samura. But that would be unsatisfying on a narrative level after we had so much setup for Chihiro and Samura to clash over ideals at last. It's possible despite the distance between Kyoto and Tokyo -Hakuri can summon him at will and all-, but it'd be a questionable and risky move is what I'm saying.

I think it might be bait for some people in the Kamunabi higher-ups, like how Kudou was taken out in the elevator. The higher-ups in the Kamunabi have some good eggs that would probably put their lives on the line to protect Hakuri if he gets in over his head. Kudo was the best of them but Azami certainly wouldn't let Hakuri be hurt- yet he's tied up with the Samurai Hishaku guy.

So who's left?

We have no information on where the other members of the council are right now. Ichiki, Beard, and Hairclips would be prime targets because they are key to sealing the Shinuchi and Beard in particular seems to be the leader. Ichiki might be with Azami (and is a great traitor candidate) though, and the little we saw of Hairclips made her seem very dispassionate. Beard isn't above bending morals but he's also got the greater good in mind so maybe him? He invited the Hishaku in to prevent innocent civilians from being caught up in the battle, so I can see him responding to Hakuri being put in danger.

Giraffe and Mutton Chops were the most dismissive of Chihiro and seem to care about the Kamunabi as an institution more than the people they're supposed to protect. I don't think they're traitors but they're not the type to respond to Hakuri being used as bait either in my mind.

Earlobes and Eyepatch don't feel like major players this arc. Earlobes has been shown talking and being a rather flippant guy, Eyepatch has been offscreen. I don't think they're going to show up.

As for other choices, it might be bait to leave the other Bearers we haven't met yet undefended- or to catch Shiba. Hiyuki wouldn't leave her post to save Hakuri but Shiba absolutely would; he would definitely teleport in to save the day (assuming the defensive barriers didn't get in his way). The only question would be how he was informed of what was happening.

Basically, I'm on the edge of my seat hoping nothing too horrible happens to Hakuri and whoever he's meant to draw to his side while bracing for heartache.

As for the bastards orchestrating all of this...

From breaking into the strongholds with trees to having hostages released, Hatshaku can fulfill all your second-man-hand needs.

I've gotta say this: I sincerely appreciate the writing of the villains in Kagurabachi. Hokazono-sensei shows a lot of restraint by having them not be cartoonishly evil like you might expect in a shounen manga. They took hostages to make people kill themselves and turn allies against each other: clearly evil. But they also let those hostages go once the pawns fulfill their tasks.

I was ready to roll my eyes and be all "yeah, they're super bad dudes, got it" if the Hishaku were shown to be killing the hostages after all. But they let them go! They have ethics, damnit. And it's really refreshing to see Hokazono keep them consistent as villains who are doing bad things but not without some internal logic. For the most part. Kuguri and Hiruhiko are definitely not going to get into heaven with how casually they kill innocent people, yeah. But the organisation as a whole is following a plan that doesn't encourage them all to be wanton killers, so the hostages go free.

It really helps the Hishaku feel serious about what they're doing. They've got these unhinged weirdos all gathered up for a goal that they care deeply about, so much so that they'll do the right thing even when they're doing wrong overall. Finally there's a criminal organisation in a shounen that I can actually be invested in!

So much to wait for... see you next week, kind void.

[morgana-larkin]

And here's the next chapter of Mine! I'm almost done the next one shot that I will post on my patreon for paid and free members only. I won't tell you much but it falls under the topic of secret admirer. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 32

Mine - Part 31

Summary: It's Halloween and Amelia gets frustrated at school the next day.

Warnings: Smut

Words: 5.3K

“Alright, this shouldn’t take long to fix.” Melissa says to Amelia in the break room. It’s Halloween and Amelia decided to go as the wicked witch of the west and some of the makeup came off before lunch and Melissa offered to fix it. Melissa has Amelia sitting on the couch while you warm up both you and Melissa’s lunch. 

“Mamma?” Amelia asks as Melissa starts doing the touch ups with the green face paint.

“Ya, Tesoro?”

“You and Mommy aren’t going to get a divorce right?” Amelia asks and Melissa furrows her eyebrows and you look over.

“No, mommy and I are happily in love.” 

“Ok good.” Amelia says.

“What makes you think that mommy and I are getting a divorce?” Melissa asks her.

“Well last night I heard these noises.” Amelia starts and everyone looks over. “And then I heard mommy screaming and you swore.” Amelia explains and Melissa’s face goes red as everyone tries not to laugh. You then put your head in your hands and groan and Ava starts laughing.

“Melissa and Y/n, I think you need to have a talk with your kid.” Ava says. “Although it’s so funny that your kid is unknowingly spilling some tea.” Ava adds.

“Sweetheart.” You say as you get up and go over to Amelia and Melissa. “So typically the noises you hear, followed by one of us screaming or swearing or both, it does not mean we’re getting a divorce. It just means that we’re playing a very adult game in our room.” You explain to her.

“What game?” Amelia asks.

“One that you don't need to know about yet.” You quickly say.

“Was it a fun game?” Amelia then asks.

“Oh, extremely.” Melissa says with a smirk and you flick her head. “What was that for?” She asks you and you raise your eyebrows. “I was just answering her question.” She tells you and she finishes fixing Amelia’s makeup. “And there we go, all good.”

“Thanks Mamma.” Amelia tells her.

“Not a problem, Tesoro. Come on, I’ll take you to the cafeteria.” Melissa offers and she gives you the makeup before Amelia takes her hand and she brings her to the caf. As soon as Melissa and Amelia leave, everyone bursts out laughing.

“Your kid spilled so hard.” Janine says.

“Alright. It’s not like me and Melissa having sex is new as we have 5 kids.” You tell them.

“Didn’t know you were so loud though.” Ava tells you. “Loud enough for your kids to hear.” She adds and you flip her off. Melissa comes back a few minutes later and everyone looks at her and she sighs.

“Alright, everyone go back to doing whatever you were doing.” She says.

“Or what?” Ava asks. “We already know you got lucky last night, which explains your extra good mood today.” She adds and you hand her your coffee mug.

“Here, you might need it.”

“To throw at Ava or to drink?” She asks you.

“Either one.” You tell her and Ava runs out. You then lean forward, closer to Melissa. “I told you we were too loud last night.” You whisper and she shrugs.

“Maybe, but it was really good.” She tells you with a smirk and you roll your eyes.

At the end of the day you were talking with Melissa and you see Amelia coming with Barb and she has a small bag of candy and a smile on her face. Melissa turns around and sees Amelia and she smiles and bends down.

“Hey Tesoro.” Melissa says and Amelia runs to her and hugs her. “Did you get some candy?” Melissa asks and Amelia nods as she shows her what she got.

“Aunt Barb allowed us to have a chocolate bar at the end of class.” Amelia adds and you both look at Barb.

“You let her have chocolate before you send her home with us?” You ask her and Barb nods.

“Yep.” Barb says with a smile before she walks away. “Good luck.” She adds and Melissa looks at you.

On the ride to the daycare, you both notice that Amelia is more restless than usual and you can tell the chocolate is taking effect. You see her bouncing her leg, tapping her leg with her hands and humming when she doesn’t know what to say.

“Are Nico and Cat going to go trick or treating this year?” Amelia asks.

“Yep, they are.” You say as you scroll on your phone. You all go into the daycare and pick up both sets of twins there and you and Melissa strap them into their car seats. 

“Are you ready to go trick or treating, my Ometto?” Melissa asks Nico and he smiles. 

“Ya, am I going to get to eat lots of chocolate, Mamma?” He asks and Melissa smiles and ruffles his hair.

“You’ll get a lot of chocolate and I’ll allow you to eat a couple pieces.” Melissa tells him and then she closes the door and gets in the driver’s seat. “How were your students today?” She asks you and you hum.

“They were distracted and just wanted the day to end, like every Halloween.” You tell her as you relax in your seat. “Were yours the same?” You ask her and she nods.

“Yep.” Melissa says as she stops at a red light and looks at all 5 of her kids in the mirror and she smiles.

You guys all get home and Melissa makes dinner for everyone as soon as you get back as the kids want to go out as soon as possible. After everyone finishes eating then you make sure everyone has a jacket and they’re candy bags ready, as well as a few garbage bags to fill all the candy with that you put in the stroller. You put Bella and Mia in the double stroller and Melissa is pulling the little wagon for when Nico, Caty or Amelia get tired, as well as have a place to put all the candy. 

Amelia wanted to do a costume theme with you and Melissa to the wizard of Oz. So Amelia chose to be the wicked witch of the west, Melissa is Glinda and you’re Dorothy. Then you have Caty dressed up as little red riding hood and Nico as the wolf. A couple weeks ago Melissa saw 2 adorable green fairy costumes that would fit the girls so she got them for Bella and Mia.

“This dress is so fluffy and hard to walk in.” Melissa says as you all walk towards the 4th house. 

“I told you to get your guy to get you a less poofy version of the dress.” You tell her.

“But this one is as poofy as the original.” She tells you.

“But the original Glinda didn’t have to walk to about 100 houses.” You say and Melissa crosses her arms. “Alright, how about you push the stroller and I’ll walk up to the houses with the kids?” You suggest and she smiles. 

“Thank you.” She tells you. 

An hour later Amelia empties her bag of candy into the garbage bag for the second time and then she runs up to the house with you and the twins. 

“Trick or treat!” All 3 of them exclaim and the woman puts a chocolate bar in all of their bags.

“Mommy I got more chocolate!” Nico tells you.

“I see that, what do you all say?” You ask.

“Thank you.” They all tell the woman and then they run to the next house. 

An hour later Caty is walking with Melissa, holding Teddy as she had enough socialising with strangers. While you, Amelia and Nico walk up to the next house, Caty spins in her dress and shows Melissa how it twirls. Caty ends up getting dizzy and Melissa catches her and picks her up. 

“You alright Dolcezza?” Melissa asks her and Caty nods.

“World was spinny.” Caty says and Melissa smiles. 

You get back with the kids and Nico empties the candy in the garbage bag. You see as Caty lays her head on Melissa’s chest with a smile and Melissa places a kiss on her head. You go to the next house and then Melissa hears one of the twins call out for her. Melissa walks in front of the stroller and sees Mia is falling asleep and Bella is looking at her. 

“Mamma.” Bella says. 

“What’s the matter my little one? Are you hungry?” Melissa asks her and Bella nods. Melissa goes into the carry on bag and pulls out a container of goldfish cookies and gives it to Bella. Bella then holds the container in her lap and eats the goldfish. Melissa then goes back to the carry on bag, and with one hand, as she’s still holding Caty, takes out a blanket and carefully puts it on Mia who fell asleep. “You really do love to sleep and sleep whenever, even when the household is noisy.” Melissa says to herself.

Another hour later Nico and Caty are both sitting in the wagon and you can tell Amelia is slowing down. Amelia comes from the house that she was just at and goes up to Melissa and hugs her leg.

“You done, Tesoro?” Melissa asks her softly and Amelia nods with a yawn. “Alright, let’s head back home.” Melissa says and you nod before you both turn around and start walking back home. About 10 minutes later and you both notice Amelia stops walking and just sits down on the sidewalk. 

“You alright sweetheart?” You ask her.

“Legs hurt.” She tells you and wipes her eyes tiredly. Melissa then goes up to her and picks her up.

“I’ll push the wagon, you push the stroller.” Melissa says and you nod. 

You both get home 15 minutes later and Amelia is falling asleep on Melissa, both the girls are asleep in the stroller, Caty is wide awake and holding Teddy while Nico is falling asleep in the wagon. You end up having to wake all your kids up and then get them all into their pjs. You put both sets of twins to bed as Melissa helps Amelia take all the green face paint off in the bath.

“Alright, and all the green is off.” Melissa says with a smile and puts the soap and cloth down. Melissa pulls the plug to drain the tub and Amelia tiredly stands up. Melissa gently wraps Amelia’s animal towel around her and picks her up. “Ready for bed my little Tesoro?” Melissa asks and Amelia nods as she lays her head on Melissa’s shoulder. 

Amelia falls asleep as soon as her pjs are on and Melissa tucks her in and kisses her cheek. She then turns the nightlight on, turns off the LED lights and then closes the door. Melissa quickly checks on all her other 4 kids and sees all of them are sleeping in their beds and cribs before she goes to the bedroom.

“How did it feel to take the dress off?” You ask her as she took it off before giving Amelia a bath. 

“So freeing. I don’t understand how women were able to move in dresses like that.” She tells you and you smile. 

“Were you able to get all the green off her?” You then ask and she nods as she walks up to you in the bathroom. You take a makeup wipe out and start taking off her Glinda makeup. “You make a beautiful Glinda.” You say and she smiles. 

“More beautiful than the original?” She asks and you nod.

“You’ll always be more beautiful than anyone.” You say as you wipe the blush off her cheeks to reveal her natural blush. You then wipe the eyeshadow, eyeliner and mascara off her eyes. You cup her cheek and she wraps her arms around your waist. 

“You make a cute Dorothy, with the plaid dress and ponytails.” She tells you and you kiss her. 

You pull away to throw out the makeup wipe and then you kiss her again. She pins you against the bathroom counter and then she picks you up and you wrap your legs around her waist. She brings you over to the bed and lays you down gently.

“We have to be quiet this time.” You tell her as she kisses down your neck. She lifts your pj shirt up and wraps her mouth around a nipple and you moan out. Melissa takes your top off and puts it in your mouth to silence you and you look at her.

“Like you said, we have to be quiet. Don’t want to give Amelia anything else to say about our sex life.” She says and then goes to your other nipple and both of you let out a muffled moan. 

Melissa then trails up and starts kissing and sucking your neck while she moves her hips against yours. She then goes in between your legs, goes on her stomach, takes your pants off and then grabs your thighs. She then dives in and swirls her tongue around your entrance and you buck your hips. Melissa pins you down and then brings her tongue to your clit and you let out a muffled gasp. You put your hands in her hair and you see her burying her face in between your legs and making sure that you’re enjoying what she’s doing. She already knows what you enjoy though, as you’ve been together for 12 years, but she does enjoy your reactions. 

She then pulls away and replaces her tongue with her middle finger on her left hand and sits up. She then removes the top from your mouth and gets you to suck on two of her fingers on her right hand. You swirl your tongue around, making sure they’re all wet and you see Melissa looking at you with dark eyes, your juices on her chin and her mouth is slightly open from enjoying your tongue on her fingers. 

“My god, your tongue makes me want to pound into you with the strap but I can’t as you’re ovulating.” She says quietly and you notice her breathing is heavier and quicker. She then goes back in between your legs and runs her two fingers down your folds and pulls her finger away from your clit. “Remember before the kids when I used to spend about an hour between your legs, just eating you out, making you have multiple orgasms?” She asks and you nod.

“You're so damn good with your tongue.” 

“What did you used to say?” She asks as she sticks two fingers in your entrance and you gasp. “Didn’t you used to say that I would eat you right into heaven?” She asks you and you nod, unable to talk as she’s pumping two fingers inside of you, slowly but still feels good. “You’re always so tight for me, even though I fingered you yesterday.” She says as she’s almost knuckle deep in you. 

“Oh god.” You say a little too loud and Melissa takes her shorts off and puts them in your mouth.

“You’re the one who said we have to be quiet and yet you can’t be quiet.” She tells you as she goes harder and you buck your hips and grab the sheets. 

You try to close your legs when she starts rubbing your clit with her other hand but you can’t with her in between you. She then straddles one of your thighs and starts moving her hips, getting your thigh to rub her clit. You say an “oh god” around her shorts but Melissa is able to understand, used to having to put clothes in your mouth to silence you. Melissa can tell your orgasm is close so she curls her fingers inside of you and speeds up on your clit. You arch your back and shut your eyes as your orgasm comes rushing through you. Melissa pulls her fingers out of you as she’s still riding your thigh, trying to get her orgasm. She then leans forward enough to put her fingers back in your mouth, getting you to clean up your juices. She lets out a quiet moan as she closes her eyes and just feels your tongue moving all over her fingers.

“My god baby, your tongue feels so good.” She says breathlessly. 

She starts moving her hips faster, getting more turned on with her fingers in your mouth. You grab her left hand as it’s not in your mouth and lace your fingers with hers. She leans forward more to get more stimulation on her clit as she’s close and pins your hand to the bed with hers. You tense your thigh muscles and she lets out a squeaky gasp as she comes. She takes a few breaths as she lets her brain come back to her body before she gets off and lays beside you. 

She gets the cloth that it’s in the nightstand, as you two always keep one in there for moments like this, and she cleans both of you up. You take her shorts out of your mouth and put them beside you and see she’s still wearing her shirt. You look at the baby monitors and see that all your kids are asleep so you pull at the hem of her shirt. Melissa gets the hint and helps you take her pj shirt off. You throw it on the ground somewhere and then rest your head on her chest and wrap your arm around her waist.

“I should know better than to keep clothes on around you in bed.” She says and you smile.

“I like snuggling more when you aren’t wearing anything.” You tell her and she places a kiss on the top of your head.

“So do I. I just hope none of our kids get a nightmare so they don’t come here just to see both of us naked.”

“It’s not like it’s anything new, I’ve breastfed before with them in the room.” You say and she hums. “And you’ve bathed them while being topless many times.”

“That’s because they like to splash and I don’t want my pjs to be wet.” She tells you and you wrap a leg around hers. 

You then fall asleep in her arms right after that and she just feels you in her arms for a few moments before she closes her eyes. Before she falls asleep, she hears crying from one of the baby monitors and sees it’s one of the twin girls. She sees you start to stir as you hear the crying so she carefully gets you off of her, grabs the baby monitor and mutes it so you don’t wake up. She then grabs her robe, puts it on and goes to the nursery. She sees it’s Mia whose crying which is unusual as she usually sleeps through the night. 

“Hey my little Mia, what’s up?” She asks her as she picks Mia up. Mia then bites down on the tip of her sleeve and Melissa grabs a teething ring and hands it to her. Mia takes it and puts it near the end, getting some of her bigger teeth. “Got more teeth coming in?” Melissa asks as Mia lays her head on her chest as she chews on the teething ring.

Melissa tries comforting her as best as she can but Mia keeps crying when she’s put back in the crib. Melissa then sits in the rocking chair, trying to rock her back to sleep but it doesn’t work. So she quietly goes into the bedroom, hoping Mia doesn’t start crying, she grabs her phone and then goes back to the nursery. Melissa sits back in the chair and looks up ways to soothe teething pain. She then puts her phone down, grabs the teething ring from Mia and then massages the gum where the new tooth is coming in. Within a few minutes, Mia is fast asleep on Melissa’s chest and Melissa waits a few minutes before she gets up and gently puts her in her crib. She then grabs her phone and goes back into the bedroom, takes her robe off, unmutes the baby monitor and then crawls back into bed and cuddles you.

The next day right after lunch, Melissa is trying to teach a lesson but all the kids are restless and won’t sit still or pay attention. Melissa can probably guess that they had Halloween chocolate at lunch that the parents packed for them. 

“Alright class, let’s go outside and get that energy out.” Melissa says and all the kids put their shoes and sweaters on before she leads them outside to the playground. When she gets there she sees you and Barb are already there with your classes and the both of you are talking on a bench while watching your classes. Melissa’s students start running around and you look behind you and see Melissa there with her students. 

“Your class had a lot of chocolate at lunch too?” You ask her and she nods.

“Oh my god, they couldn’t pay attention for 30 seconds.” She tells you and you move over to let her sit next to you on the bench. 

“My kindergarteners wouldn’t fall asleep for nap time.” Barb says and you both look to see Amelia running around with a couple of her classmates. 

“Nice to know she’s making friends with her classmates.” You say as Melissa places an arm around your shoulders.

“Oh she’s a social butterfly. Talkative and social.” Barb tells you both. Amelia then notices Melissa is there as well and she runs up to you both with another girl. 

“Mommy, Mamma, this is Annie.” Amelia introduces her new friend to you both.

“Well hello Annie.” Melissa says. 

“The two Schemmenti’s are your mommies?” Annie asks Amelia and Amelia nods. “My sister is in the third grade, her name is Robin and she’s mentioned the two Schemmenti’s.” Annie says.

“Your sister is in my class.” You tell her.

“Do you have any sisters?” Annie asks Amelia.

“Ya, I have 3 sisters and a brother.” Amelia tells her and Annie widens her eyes. 

“You have a lot of kids.” Annie tells you both before they run off to the playground. 

“Wow, a 5 year old just said we have a lot of kids.” You say and Melissa chuckles. 

“Well I guess technically we do as most households have 2 kids, not 5.” Melissa says and you hum. “But I couldn’t imagine not having any of them.” She adds and you look at her with a smile.

“Well I hope so as it was a lot of work being pregnant with them.” You tell her and she smiles. 

“And I appreciate you going through it 3 times.” She says and then gives you a kiss on the cheek.

After half an hour, the sugar crash comes and you all bring your classes back inside. You’re all able to teach again without them getting distracted and the kindergarteners immediately fall asleep. 

You say goodbye to your last student at the end of the day and you look to see Melissa is helping with the shoelaces of her last student and you don’t see Barb and Amelia coming like they usually are. You furrow your eyebrows and you grab your things and lock your door and see they’re still nowhere in sight. You then look and see Melissa is making her way over to you with her purse and see she already locked up.

“We should probably go see what’s holding them up.” Melissa tells you and you nod before you go make your way to Barb’s classroom. You walk in and you see Barb sitting next to Amelia and Amelia is sitting at her desk, getting frustrated by something.

“Hey sweetheart.” You say and Amelia looks up before she looks back down. Amelia tries moving the pencil and then slaps it down on the desk with a frustrated sigh.

“Why can’t I do it?” She asks and Melissa walks up to her.

“What are you trying to do, Tesoro?” Melissa asks her.

“Trying to write the letter A.” She explains and Melissa moves the paper and looks at her attempts.

“These are pretty good, you’re almost there.” Melissa tells her.

“Most of the class was able to do it.” She says before she leans back in her chair and crosses her arms.

“You’ll get it eventually, Tesoro, in your own time.” Melissa tells her softly. 

“She didn’t want to move from here until she got it. Saying she wanted to make you both proud.” Barb explains and you go over and bend down in front of her desk.

“Sweetheart, you make us proud everyday.” You tell her and you see her eyes get watery. 

“But I can’t write an A fully.” She says softly and Melissa holds her hand. 

“And that’s ok, a lot of kids aren’t able to do things at the same time as others, but they always catch up. Also, schoolwork isn’t everything, and you’re so smart in other ways.” Melissa tells her and Amelia looks at her.

“In what ways?” Amelia asks Melissa.

“Well you're an amazing great sister, you figured out quickly what to do if one of your siblings needs us if we’re in another room. You learned how to help me cook and bake very fast, which not even your mommy knows how to do.” Melissa explains and you look at her.

“What a way to throw me under the bus.” You mutter and Melissa hits your leg with her free hand. “Ow.” You complain with a pout and Amelia looks at you.

“Why can’t you cook?” Amelia asks you.

“Just not gifted in that area.” You simply tell her. “But you are.” You add and she looks down. 

“You’re also so smart socially, you always make friends wherever you go. Not a lot of people can do that.” Melissa adds.

“So even though I’m behind in something, you’re still proud of me?” Amelia asks Melissa and Melissa smiles and nods.

“We’re extremely proud of you, Tesoro.” Melissa says and tucks some strands of hair behind Amelia’s ear. Amelia pulls her hand away from Melissa’s and then launches herself at Melissa. “Oh.” Melissa says in surprise but catches her daughter and hugs her. Melissa stands up with Amelia in her arms and you stand up as well and Barb gets out of the chair.

“I do have to lock up so I can go home.” Barb tells you all and Melissa looks at her daughter.

“Ready to get your siblings and go home?” Melissa asks her and Amelia nods. 

At home you see Amelia is practicing the letters again and Melissa goes up to her with a blank piece of paper. 

“Instead of trying to draw on the lines, how about you try it without any lines?” Melissa suggests as you’re holding Mia and she has a teething ring in her mouth as Melissa told you about last night. 

You then watch as Amelia looks at the lines for the letters and then tries to write it on the blank paper. She tries it a few times before she’s able to get it and she gasps. Amelia jumps up and down and then looks at Melissa.

“Mamma, I did it!” She exclaims and Melissa smiles at her. 

“Ya, you did.” Melissa tells her and rubs Amelia’s back. 

At night you get into bed next to Melissa and you sigh. Melissa looks up from her phone at you and quirks an eyebrow.

“Something on your mind, Amore?” She asks you and you nod.

“Amelia learned some things really fast, like talking and reading.” You start and Melissa puts her phone down. “What if she learns other things quickly and the others feel like they’re not smart like how Amelia felt today?” You ask her and she thinks about it. “Or what if Amelia feels that way again because she thinks she has to get everything right away?” You add and Melissa grabs your closest hand.

“If that happens then we’ll fix it just like we did today.” She tells you and you look at her. 

“If it happens again with something you’re not good at then maybe I’ll throw you under the bus.” You say and she quirks her eyebrows at you.

“And what am I not good at?” She asks and you think about it and come up blank.

“That’s actually a good question.” You say and cross your arms. “Oh actually, you sometimes have trouble controlling your emotions.” You tell her and she laughs.

“That’s the best you can think of?” 

“It’s the only thing that came to mind actually.” You say and she smiles.

“How about the fact that I have trust issues?” She tells you and you furrow your eyebrows.

“Ok first of all, most people do, and second, are you helping me figure out a flaw for you?” You ask her.

“Ya. I mean I did point out one of yours to our 5 year old so why not?” She tells you. “What about that I’m not as physical as I used to be?” She tells you.

“I don’t know, you were pretty physical last night and the night before that.” You say and she laughs. “But see, you’re perfect. Both of us can’t find a flaw about you.”

“I’m not perfect Amore, I’m just perfect for you.” She tells you. “Just like you're perfect for me. I mean I think it’s great that you can’t cook which means I get to feed you and my entire family the most amazing meals. And I get to pass it on to my kids.” She says. “As well as you’re just as crazy about me as I am about you, and I find that perfect.”

“You know what I just thought that’s not really a flaw but can be used against you?” You ask her and she quirks an eyebrow at you. “You hate the show that Caty and Nico are obsessed with.” You tell her.

“You tell them that and I will divorce you.” She threatens.

“You’ve gotten so bad at threats since being with me.” You tell her and she rolls her eyes. 

“I say you’re perfect and you’re threatening to tell my kids that I hate their show?” She asks and you nod. 

“It can be used against you whenever I like.” You say with a smile.

“I’ve been such a bad influence on you.” 

“I think the skills I’ve learned from you are very useful. Where to swing a bat at an intruder, swearing in Italian at someone who pisses me off and they won’t understand a word I say, how to threaten people. And because I married you, I have connections all over the city.” You tell her and she hums. 

“I regret telling you about a few connections.” She says and you kiss her. 

“Let’s go to bed.” You tell her and then you both get comfortable. “Did you put a cloth in the fridge in case Mia gets teething pains again?” You ask her.

“Yep, there’s one in there. Top shelf next to the lunches.” She says before she puts an arm around you and pulls you up against her body.

“I hope you know that I’m not mad at you for pointing out I can’t cook, and that I love your flaws.” You tell her and you feel her hold you tighter.

“I know.” She says. “You weren’t serious when you said you’d use that I hate the kids show against me, right?” 

“Oh I was definitely serious about that.” 

“I hate you.”

“I love you too.” You tell her before you both fall asleep.

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Let me know if you want to be added!

[snailsgoingdowntown]

Help, I Reincarnated as the Female Lead’s Sister-in-Law!

Story Masterlist

Chapter 11

‘Slight’ Yandere! Dion Agriche x Fem! Reader.

Arranged marriage AU

Warnings: Obsessive and possessive themes, overall slight yandere themes, mentions of self-harm (referencing of biting thumb), mentions of injury (the thumb + bruised knees), mention of vomit, very slight sadistic themes, implied guilt and maybe implied depression (???), implied coercion, mention of drugs (sleeping pills), almost near panic attack (probably?), toxic relationship/marriage, Reader is barely having a good time but it gets ruined, slight themes of a misogynistic society. Please tell me if I missed any.

NSFW Warnings: VERY SLIGHT suggestive themes.

NOTE: The reader has enough hair to put into a bun.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT CONDONE ANY OF THE HARMFUL AND/OR DANGEROUS ACTIONS AND/OR BEHAVIORS THAT MAY TAKE PLACE IN THIS PIECE OF FICTION. THESE ACTIONS/BEHAVIORS SHOULD NOT BE NORMALIZED NOR ROMANTICIZED AS THEY ARE BOTH EXTREMELY TOXIC AND DANGEROUS.

MINORS/BLANK BLOGS/BLOGS THAT DO NOT INTERACT WITH OR REBLOG ANYTHING FANDOM RELATED (FICS, ART, ETC.) DNI.

= = =

The first thing you were told about your fiancé was that he was from an extremely well-off family. Deep down you knew your father told you that to give you a reason to look ‘forward’ towards the marriage. He didn’t tell you anything about the man himself and you never asked - after all, he was your father, right? He would only choose the best for you, right? No way he would allow the lowest of the low to even lick the bottom of your shoe.

The ‘fact,’ however, did not stop questions from forming. Never bringing them up, wanting to believe in and trust your father, you covered your own eyes and shushed your own voice. You followed while completely in the dark.

It was expected by society. It was burned into your brain from a young age- and besides, your father had never broken your trust prior to this. He was a trustworthy man.

The second thing you were told about the mysterious man was that he was ‘extremely handsome.’ 

Your mother had brought him up one evening while taking a walk in the garden. Walking cane in hand, her faint wrinkles started to fade into the shadows as the sun went down. “I only met him once, but he’s an extremely handsome young man.” She smiles when you look at her.

“Oh? What brought this up, mother?” You ask as you both come to a stop. Leaning into her touch as she pushes a few stray hairs back, you notice how dull her (e/c) eyes become. The smile she gives is almost heartbreaking.

Penitent.

“Well, it’s just that… you never asked one thing about him. You accepted the engagement rather quickly, and while that can be a good thing… even good girls should question things and people sometimes.” 

“Oh,” you say, blinking as you become wordless. After a pause you resume, “but father was the one who picked him, right? Who agreed to it with my soon to be father-in-law; how could I not trust him?” Despite your own words, a pang of anxiety strikes your heart. 

Your parents have been acting weird ever since the news was broken to you. 

Your mother never talks like this. She expected you to behave the majority of the time - of course, she also expected you to make mistakes, like any human would. Soft scoldings if they were small and harsh ones if they went too far. She also taught you to have full trust in your father whenever it came to picking out a potential marriage partner. 

And yet, now she is indirectly telling you that you shouldn’t have. Like a blotch of ink spilled onto pristine clothing, what was a small ‘mistake’ now ruining the entire product. It was like they were saying they ruined your life. 

No - no, they wouldn’t. They love you, they do, but why is your heart dreadfully beating? 

The corner of her lips turn downward before quickly settling back into a fine, tight line. “Right,” she strokes your hair, eyes still dull, “you think that.” Her words confuse you but she gestures to continue the walk. You do so, the atmosphere becoming heavy. 

 You fight yourself to keep your eyes covered, resisting the urge to pull up the wool covering them. Believe in your parents, as you were taught. Ah, but what should you do when your own parents indirectly tell you to question them?

You don’t know what to say, heart beating faster. Teeth begging to chomp down on your thumb, a harmful habit that was forgotten but threatens to return since your father told you about the engagement. The need for control was shoved down, accepting - or at least attempting to - your father’s decision. 

The rest of the walk was quiet, both daughter and mother unsure of what to say next.

- - -

“My lady, it’s time to get ready.” Hana informs you of the dreaded event; dinner with your father-in-law, Lant Agriche. 

Your chest painfully contorts, mouth becoming dry as two other maids enter the room. They bow deeply and you don’t miss the grave look on their face. Perhaps they were scared of offending Dion’s Agriche’s wife, still unsure of what her standing is within the family. 

Still gauging the situation, seeing how it’s been only two weeks. Still observing how the most achieved son treats you, wondering if he secretly holds you dear or if you mean less than dirt to him.

Well, that’s probably part of it - the amount of presents Maria has sent you was mind boggling - it became worse after you gave her a gift as ‘thanks’ for her unwanted ones. How often she invites you to… anywhere, really, made it look like you could rival Sierra in being your mother-in-law’s favorite person. It was clear that the mad woman had already made room for you in her ‘heart,’ thus becoming your guard dog.

But how long until she bites?

However, the fact you were her son’s wife had some still in doubt. Some thought she was merely acting out a fantasy of having a daughter until she becomes bored of you, and secretly, you agree. Others think that they’re just rumors, not bothering themselves with you nor her. 

A few wanted to dip their toes in, testing the waters - seeing how far they could go before the third wife would bare her fangs. Or if she would at all, subtle jabs at your character and her behavior behind your backs.

 In other words, you were still very much fresh meat. 

“Oh, right.” The two new maids look at each other with a knowing look, most likely pitying you. They refuse to help you, however, knowing the price they would pay if you even gave you the idea of running away. Instead, they get your makeup ready, multiple eye shadow shades and colors laid out on your brand new vanity that was gifted to you days ago by none other than Maria. Lipstick was also brought out and organized by color.

Hana starts to help you undress. Temporary physical relief washes over you once the tight dress and corset are taken off. She asks you to step out of the ring they formed once the articles of clothing crumbled to the floor. You hesitate before stepping over it, already dreading wearing that beautiful dress stored in the closet that had the Black Agriche’s family crest.

Just by being stored in it taints it.

“Please bear with the discomfort until you return here, my lady.” Hana brings out a new corset and you eye it wearily. Reluctantly you grab onto the bedpost, mentally preparing yourself for how tight the clothes will hug your body. She almost looks guilty.

“Gah!” Gasping for breath as the brunette tightens the strings, the other two maids only watch on with pity. Pity for the corset? Or for the dinner you’ll have with Lant? Or both?

It doesn’t cross your mind that perhaps they are also including Dion in that list.

“Please bear with it until after dinner, my lady. Master Lant is leaving immediately afterwards.” Hana’s attempts to comfort you are sweet, but they barely help. As in the end, while one threat will temporarily leave, the other one will share this room with you again. 

Life sucks. God hates you.

It never occurred to you that you should question why Hana is attempting to comfort you. She shouldn’t, but your mind is about to completely dismantle which prevents rational thinking.

“Y-yes, of course… he’ll leave,” hoping the other two won’t rat you both you out, you shut your eyes until she’s done with the torture device. You take in a deep breath before releasing it, begging your heart to calm down and mind to settle. Your nails dig into the bedpost, leaving marks as your wrapped right thumb throbs in sharp pain. 

The maids glance at it, wondering if the injury was on purpose - if you did it in a sad attempt to delay the dinner. Of course, you didn’t, and the thought of harming yourself and masking it as an accident never crossed your mind. And even if you did, it would only serve to make you look weaker, more pathetic in Lant’s eyes.

You can’t stop thinking about Lant’s temperament. His snarkiness and disgusting face. Nails on a chalkboard voice that’s worse than his son’s. The sinister look in his eyes that never seems to leave. That smug smirk he nearly always wears.

You can’t stop thinking about how your faith and livelihood are in his hands. How he’s the true holder of your leash, handing the ‘responsibility’ over to his son for whatever reason.

Your bruised knees start to buck and no-one comments on it despite the way their eyes are glued to it. Hana instructs one of the maids to get that scarlet dress from the closet, a quiet agreement on not to comment on your near broken state. Be it out of kindness or obligation, you’re grateful regardless of.

“Here’s the dress,” the dirty blond presents it to Hana as your eyes zone into the bed - you could be sleeping right now. Reading a book. Instead you’re listening in as the three maids discuss what accessories to pair with the lovely scarlet garment. It only makes you want to rip it into tiny pieces. 

“Oh, we should probably put her Ladyship in the dress before deciding on anything,” the black haired maid points out and the other two nod in agreement. The blond helps Hana with dressing you. Hana quickly fastens the button of the neck piece from behind your neck. 

It’s choking you. 

And so is the form-fitting dress. 

Goosebumps form on your exposed shoulders, and you just now noticed that a good portion of your back is also exposed. The cold air nips at the (s/c) skin, making you tremble harder. Taking in a shaky breath, you don’t fight back when they smooth out the dress, making sure it fits you perfectly. 

You feel more like a lifeless mannequin than a living, breathing human.

“Please sit down, my lady,” Hana guides you to the vanity seat, and the mirror reflects a fearful lamb. You see the dark circles under your eyes from the lack of sleep, the experience of being interrogated by your husband drilled into your bones and fresh on your mind. You hate how they’re almost dark enough to match his. 

“...Hana,” you say, wincing as her knuckles brush against the exposed skin of your back as she gathers your hair. You don’t want to be touched, heart beating against your chest as you get closer and closer to being finished. “C-could you bring me some sleeping pills after dinner?” 

“Yes, my lady,” she responds immediately, like she was anticipating your question before it was even asked. “I’ll fetch it as soon as I escort you back here.” Her smooth voice and promise makes your shoulders relax. 

- - -

Elena had invited you to an outing, her pregnant belly starting to show. You had accepted, of course, wanting to spend some time with the sister who moved out years ago and visits were sparse. 

Plus, it was easier to ask her about married life, too awkward to ask your mother. Their guilty looks were starting to get to you.

“Thank you for inviting me, sister.” Your smile is warm as your sister sits across from you at the bakery table. “It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.” 

She smiles back. “It has, hasn’t it? I’m sorry for not showing up more often - I’ve been busy with planning for the baby,” she strokes her baby bump, “and preparing for a dinner we’re going to host. Obviously I’m also going to invite you and our family.” 

It was nice to see someone who wasn’t constantly on edge. To not have their anxiety transfer over to you, keeping your mouth shut as they close themselves off.

“But that’s enough about me - tell me, any news within the family?” She thanks the waitress as she comes with your orders and you do the same. “Father barely tells me anything as is.”

You blink in surprise - wouldn’t Elena be one of the firsts to be told about the news as she’s the oldest child? You shrug it off a moment later, guessing he wanted to keep it a surprise. Still, you didn’t want to hide it from her. You had no reason to. 

“I just got engaged two weeks ago. I’m surprised father hasn’t told you yet.” 

She almost drops her tea cup as she processes the information. Confused and worried you ask if she’s alright only to be met with silence. She bites her lip before forcing out a chuckle. 

“Is that so? Con… congratulations, (Name). Have you met him yet?” She looks worried, drumming her fingers on the table. Everything about her is tense. 

Anxiety starts to swell inside you, concerned about her reaction - just who exactly was your fiance? First, your father was hesitant to tell you, then your mother bitterly accepted - no, acknowledged your own reaction and acceptance of it all.

The only person who has yet to talk about it was Zac.

“...no, not yet. There hasn’t been any news of his portrait arriving, either.” You leave out the part that yours was about to be sent out.

Her expression wavers while your’s becomes concerned. You both hold back your true feelings. 

“I see. Well, maybe you’ve seen him once - at a gathering or ball. Just didn’t realize it was him.” Elena quickly says, and it only makes you question the entire thing more. Her fingers keep drumming against the table. “Ah, but, as his wife…” she trails off, looking to the side.

She reluctantly finishes with, “make sure to behave. And accept what he does in bed - eventually, you’ll enjoy it.” 

Your heart drops and you have to stop yourself from jumping up from your chair. So far, your family is making your future husband sound like a monster.

“...thank you for the advice,” you say without genuine gratitude. 

- - -

“No, we should put her hair up.”

“But if we leave it up, the sight of her back won’t be teased whenever the young master walks behind her.”

“If he walks behind her, you mean.”

“Well, they’ll be returning fairly early once the dinner is ready… it’s only natural to expect something to happen. Maybe he’ll think it’s sexier to have it down.”

“Oh you-! If we leave her hair up, the smaller hairs at the base of her head won’t stay in place, thus making it prettier, and if part of her neck and back is clearly exposed, he might think about taking a bite - any man would. She’s so pretty. Plus, he might prefer undoing her hair himself, enjoying how it flows down.” 

The blond woman hums in thought as the black haired one shares her opinion. It seems that they both completely forgot that Hana told you herself that she would be the one escorting you back, not Dion.

It took them fifteen minutes to settle down and gossip like school girls. Quicker than expected, and you’re hopeful that Hana will keep quiet about it to the masters.

Their debate only serves to make heat crawl up your neck and cheeks to feel hot. They don’t even bother to whisper… no, rather, they were lost in their own world, failing to notice Hana’s glare at their unprofessionalism. But it all felt so natural.

You hope they’ll be wrong in their assumptions - you don’t want to be touched by that man again. You hate the way he looks at you. The way he touches you. Just being in the same room as him installs fear and small amounts of disgust in you.

Dion is nothing more than a perverted creep.

“Okay,” the blond claps her hands, “we’ll put it up. Hopefully that’ll satisfy him.” You cringe at her words. You hope he’ll keep his hands to himself. 

You hope he’ll leave and won’t return at all tonight. 

You keep your true thoughts and feelings at bay, cautious about the employee’s reactions. No matter how natural this setting felt, you were still in enemy territory. Still, the longer this goes on the more your worries fade into the background.

Hana sighs, clearly done and used to their actions and behavior. Just how closely does she work with them?

“You two, hurry up and help me ready her Ladyship - you’re being paid to work, not to yap.” Hana’s uncharacteristic annoyance draws a giggle from you - while embarrassing and unwarranted, the entire exchange felt normal. 

“O-oh, right, of course, please forgive us my lady,” closing her brown eyes, the blond maid bows, face beet red. The black haired one follows suit, and despite the topic being unwanted, you can’t force yourself to be upset. They were just normal girls - they reminded you of you and your friends. 

“Oh, right. What are your names?” Finally asking the million dollar question, both women snap out of their daze. 

“O-oh, right.” The blond introduces herself first. “My name is Anne, my lady.”

“And I am Charis,” the black haired one says next.

You nod your head. “What pretty names - it’s a pleasure to be working with you.” Hana has started to work on your hair once the style was decided on. It’s slightly tight but it doesn’t pull on your scalp. 

Anne and Charis stare in surprise before bowing once more, flustered, the tip of their ears pink. You see everything from their reflection in the mirror, ignoring yours. You don’t want to see yourself. You might break if you do.

- - -

Zac was the last to bring up the engagement. However, unlike Elena, he was fully aware of it. Maybe your father or mother told him before you. If so, it stings a bit.

Shouldn’t you be the first to know? To know the full details? Since it was your marriage, and all.

“Let me guess, father said he’s rich and mother told you he was handsome.” He scoffs as he sits on your bed, playing with the bug he captured from outside. Despite your discomfort with the big beetle, you leave it be - as long as he doesn’t shove it in your face you’ll let it slide. 

“Yes. But how do you know that?” You question him while brushing your hair, getting ready for bed, nightgown already on. Your younger brother has yet to change into his own nightwear, still wearing the button up shirt and knee length shorts he was recently given. 

“Because it’s them.” He answers causally. There’s a hint of annoyance in his tone, but he doesn’t show it fully. “They’ll say anything to make you accept it. Not that I completely blame them, but it’s still stupid and sad how easily they gave in.”

There it goes again - your own family making your future husband and in-laws sound like monsters. You frown. “I’m sure he’s a decent guy - father wouldn’t pair me up with anyone less.” Despite your faux confidence you can’t help but to feel uneasiness rot you from the inside out. 

“Do you believe that yourself, (Name)?” He looks at you through the mirror, the beetle crawling up his arm. The eleven-year-old boy stares at you like a grown man. 

“...of course I do. Our parents would never knowingly and willingly put me in danger.” Your fingers start to tremble as you put the brush down. It’s getting harder to keep your eyes covered and your lips shut.

When you look down he starts again.

“We both know that’s a lie. You can’t keep lying to yourself forever.”

You hate how he says nothing but the truth.

Even so, you’ll live in denial until the day you meet your fiance. If you pray enough to God, your husband will be decent.

You fail to consider that maybe, God held no love nor mercy for you.

- - -

“No, don’t choose butterfly theme accessories - that’s Lady Roxana’s signature look. She will be looked down upon, with everyone thinking she’s copying her.” Anne scolds Charis when she suggests black butterfly earrings. Hana nods her head as she does your makeup. This time around, the foundation hides your dark circles perfectly.

“What about dew drops, then? It’s simple but elegant.” Charise presents a pair of gold rimmed ruby earrings in the style she mentioned. Anne thinks for a moment before agreeing. 

“Should we add a necklace?” Anne looks through the options displayed on the vanity’s surface. So many options, so little time.

“Of course! A small and simple one, though. Hm. It should be gold to bring out the color more. How about adding a flower hair clip?” Charise picks up a black and red clip and holds it up, inspecting the expensive looking item.

Their investment in your outfit distracts you from the urge to throw up the closer they get to finishing. For a moment, you forget why they’re dressing you up in the first place. You felt at home in their care. Including Hana’s, of course.

“Make sure it’s not too similar to one of Lady Roxana’s.” 

“Obviously.” 

Once everything is said and done with, you don’t look like yourself. You don’t look ugly, but as all three maids admire their handiwork, the urge to puke worsens. You don’t look like yourself, this outfit doesn’t suit you, and you’re reminded of the reason for this when one of them says Dion’s name. You feel gross.

“Oh, her thumb… we can’t let her show up with it wrapped.” Anne brings it up as Hana goes to your dresser to pick out a pair of satin black gloves - they reach a bit above your elbows. After she slips them on, the look is complete.

They all call you beautiful, a sight for sore eyes - you feel out of place. Even so, you thank them, reality crashing down any of the remaining enjoyment and peace for this moment. You’re about to enter the battlefield that is the dining room -  with your opponents being Lant and Dion Agriche. 

Hana escorts you out while the other two tidy up the room. They wished you luck before your departure. It feels like you’re being sent to war. 

- - -

The day to finally meet your fiance has come. 

Dressed in a dark navy blue dress, a black mesh covering part of your neck and cleavage, hair curled and tied in a half-do, anticipation won’t escape your chest and head. Your hands are clammy as your father helps you out of the carriage - both families agreed to meet at the venue where the engagement party will be held. A venu that was chosen by your future in-laws without the opinion of your family, which was concerning.

However, you didn’t question your father on it - he looked worried enough as is. But so are you. The wool over your eyes is finally slipping off.

“Okay, (Name), remember to behave yourself.” Your father reminds you as your mother frets over your appearance, smoothing out your dress and hair. He doesn’t let go of your hand despite both of your feet on steady ground. He tightly squeezes it instead. 

“Of course, father.” Nervousness is written all over your face but no-one comments on it. Instead of excitement you’re scared. Instead of a relaxed smile it’s wavering with each step towards the venue. Your knees threaten to buck as your heels dig into your feet.

Your mother speaks up before opening the doors. “Remember dear to listen to him - it’s your duty as his wife. It will make everything easier.” This should be the part where she encourages you to be yourself. To say that hey, maybe a love will eventually blossom between the two of you.

It’s clear that she can’t force the words out. 

Everything is setting you on edge. Your legs feel weak and the heels aren’t helping. Your heart is threatening to explode as a servant opens the doors of the venue. Every bone in your body is screaming at you to run away and start a new life. 

Footsteps echoing in the hallway, you make a right turn before reaching the room. Time stops and your heart drops as you catch sight of familiar hair that resembles dark ink and glowing crimson eyes, the man dressed in a black uniform with red rimmed shoulder pads that has skulls engraved into them, the Agriche family crest proudly imprinted on the back of the shirt that splits at the hips, tied together with a brown belt. Blanks pants that disappear into nearly knee-high brown boots with long, tied laces that make his long legs look even longer. 

You’ve only seen him a handful of times - in the distance of balls and banquets, the man keeping to himself while you stayed far away from him and his family. Only ever meeting eyes once, tearing your gaze away immediately to focus on your friend.

He looks at you with disinterest while you stare in horror. 

Then, an older man who looks exactly like him turns around to face you and your parents. A sinister grin on his disgusting face makes your skin crawl as he greets you. Your ears bleed at the sound of his smug voice.

“I see that you’ve arrived,” he says with a cocky smirk as your father besides you winces. Your mother holds her breath as both men walk towards you, fully aware that all three of you are stuck in place. His red eyes are filled with glee at the fact.

Then, he introduces himself. 

“I believe this is the first time we have formally met. I’m your future father-in-law, Lant Agriche - you don’t have to wait to call me that. And my son here is your future husband - Dion Agriche.” 

A black gloved hand reaches out to shake yours and you can’t breathe during the exchange as your fiance takes your shaky hand. Boredom is plastered on that handsome face of his, and he’s not even looking directly at you - no, he’s looking at the hallway, like he was expecting something. Someone. 

You pray to God with a heavy heart that this engagement will be broken. As later learned, he did not listen to your desperate prayers. 

A forced and painful strained smile, you introduce yourself, voice threatening to disappear.

“Hello, I’m (Name) (Last Name). It’s a pleasure to meet you, father-in-law and…” 

His name won’t leave past your lips. You don’t want to utter it and -

“Dion,” he finishes for you, eyes flickering to your face before they land on something behind you once more. His voice is low and deep, a hint of tiredness in it. Had it been anyone else, maybe you would have found it attractive, sexy even. 

“Ah, yes. Dion. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” His name tastes bitter on your tongue as you lie.

“Likewise.” 

He sounds bored and clearly not interested in you nor this meeting. 

However, the eyes of his father burn you as the older man pats his son’s shoulder. “He won’t bite.” Yet, he leaves out, but the simper airs it out in the open. Lant then proceeds to shake your hand as well, relishing in how your expression becomes grave. 

Still, you smiled at him, forced or otherwise. You’ll listen to your parents - you have to. When he lets go you resist the urge to wipe off the grime his touch left on you. You want to cut this hand off. 

“Why don’t we leave them alone for a bit? They should familiarize themselves with each other before the wedding.” His ‘advice’ drips with sinister intentions as he shoo you and Dion away to a corner with a victorian style loveseat. 

It dips under your combined weight. Your gaze is glued to your lap, fingers laced together as you rest them on your lap. Words don’t form inside your head much less on your tongue. Sweat builds on your temples and the back of your neck. 

Your thumb is starting to look biteable. Fingers twitch as your fiance shifts in his spot, your brain screaming at you to run. You almost do, legs straightening only for you to force them back down. You feel like you’re about to have a heart attack, your hands are clammy and it’s hard to breathe, biting the inside of your cheek just so you won’t scream or cry. 

The silence is deafening. 

Your parents are too far to hear what they’re saying. But every now and then you can feel eyes on you and curiosity and wariness overtake you as you lift your eyes, only to meet your father’s. He quickly looks away after a nod of his head and an apologetic smile - guilt was clear but responsibility wasn’t taken. 

Whenever you feel like someone’s looking at you, you just assume it’s your father checking in on you. It was the only reasonable explanation. So, you kept your head down.

However, had you looked up from your lap, you would have seen scarlet eyes boring into your form, taking everything about you in - from your anxious look to the color of your dress, how your chest raised with every baited breath, your nose cutely twitching as you kept tears at bay. 

Tapping your foot against the tile, hoping time would fly by fast, you can’t bring yourself to look up at the handsome man next to you. You’re vaguely aware of his head staying in place, looking ahead and not sparing you a glance. 

It makes you feel relieved a bit, but you’re unable to see how he looks at you just by moving his eyes. And to think, the entire time you had thought it was your father. 

You don’t see how his fingers twitch as you shift to get more comfortable, leg accidentally bumping into his before you cower into the side of the armrest, further away from him. You apologize with a hushed whimper. 

“S-sorry…” 

Dion doesn’t say anything. 

And you fail to notice how close he was to grabbing you, bringing you closer, onto his lap until your scent threatens to drown him as he nuzzles his nose into your neck. Arms tight around your waist, not willing to give you an inch to escape. Of course, he doesn’t act on these urges, knowing that the better choice of action was to leave you to your devices. Driving you away wasn’t an option.

These desires confuse him - they’re not like him. He wasn’t raised to be like this. But you’re the forbidden apple he took a bite from, and you’re sweeter than sweet. He almost scoffs at himself but his stoic demeanor remains.  

Meanwhile you’re begging to God that somehow, someway, this engagement will be broken off peacefully, that you will never cross paths with the Agriches ever again. That you’ll split ways without a word, a mutual agreement that no-one would benefit from this marriage.

It never occurred to you that your future husband would do anything to prevent that.

The ‘chat’ ends with your father looking your way once more, only to realize with horror that Dion Agriche was already attracted to you, a hint of obsession in those red eyes and his hand threatening to grab your arm possessively as you turned your back towards him, excusing yourself to gather your thoughts in the restroom. 

Upon turning his head at the feeling of eyes on him, your groom-to-be smiles eerily once he makes eye contact with his future father-in-law. The sight made your poor father nearly faint, and yet, it felt warmer than Lant’s. But horrible regardless. 

This entire time, you had thought that the beast held no interest in you, not realizing you were the lamb he had his sights on.

Not once realizing and noticing how he watched closely at your interactions with other people, other men after that split second of accidentally making eye contact with him at a ball that took place over a year ago. 

And now, in the present, you’re starting to realize things a little bit too late. 

[jareaujareau]

I'd move mountains for you (my love) - Chapter 5

Chapter 5: The Perfect Present

Summary: Christmas means an extra special present for the team and their parents, Mapi won't take off her headphones and Ingrid's always sleeping.

December 1st 2025, Barcelona, Spain

“It’s Christmasssssss!”

“Maria, it’s six in the morning…” Ingrid groaned, turning to sleep away from Mapi.

“But it’s December mi amor, we have to start celebrating!” The Spaniard beamed as she leaned over to see if Ingrid’s eyes were shut

“It’s the first of December… let me sleep before I start throwing up.”

Mapi sulked but allowed her girlfriend to continue sleeping. Despite it being way too early to be up she busied herself in their living room with her iPad, the pregnancy app being the first app she checked everyday. As it was the start of the month Mapi wanted to make this polaroid extra special to mark the start of Christmas and the start of the end of the first trimester, a time she assumed Ingrid would be happy to let go over regarding the sickness. 

The app told her that their baby measured the same size as a strawberry, something that was thankfully one of Ingrid’s favourite fruits and an item that was currently in their fridge. And so Mapi got to work crafting what she thought was a really cool looking breakfast - a yoghurt bowl decorated as the face of Father Christmas with the strawberries making up his hat. 

The Spaniard left the bowl on the kitchen counter before making her way back to their bedroom knowing that Ingrid had likely fallen asleep again.

“Princesa,” She smiled, watching as Ingrid’s eyes fluttered open, “It’s time to get up. I made breakfast!”

“Noooo, let me sleep.”

“Ingrid…” Mapi whined, “We have training in an hour and a half. It’s a special breakfast!”

“Fine.”

The two women trekked into the kitchen where Mapi eagerly waited for her girlfriend to notice the yoghurt bowl and when she did Mapi was not expecting her reaction.

The Norwegian burst into tears, something that had Mapi’s eyes widened as she rushed to hug Ingrid.

Had she gone off yoghurt? Was she about to be sick?

“Ingrid?”

“I’m sorry I don’t know why I’m crying! I just- this is our last Christmas as a family of two. Next year we’re going to have a baby with us!”

Mapi rained kisses down on Ingrid’s face, “Sweetheart…”

It was then that Ingrid noticed the polaroid camera on the side, “Did you do this for our next polaroid?”

The Spaniard nodded, “And because I love you.” 

They separated from the hug and moved to the mirror. Similar to last time Mapi held the object, the yoghurt bowl, whilst Ingrid held the camera. The photo soon came out and Ingrid wrote ‘Week 9 - Christmas Strawberries’ on it as an ode to the time of year it was. 

________

As the middle of December rolled around so did something else - their week 11 doctor appointment. 

This time they were able to come away with an ultrasound, the image of their baby extremely clear to see. Even better though, the couple heard their baby’s heartbeat for the very first time. Yet again Ingrid burst into tears, an act that would happen multiple times a day like she was on an emotional rollercoaster, the fast thumping of the baby’s heart echoed throughout the room. Mapi kissed Ingrid’s hand repeatedly, gripping it tightly as she tried to hold back her own tears. 

The second they got home Mapi played the recording of the heartbeat as she needed to memorise it. She played it while making dinner, while eating dinner, while cuddling on the sofa with her arms wrapped around Ingrid’s middle where the bloat bump became more prominent in the evening, right before bed and even in the shower. 

Any time the Spaniard heard the baby’s heart she looked as if she was drunk on love, something the cheekier members of the team quickly caught onto during the next away match.

Mapi had a ritual before each game. While assessing the pitch with the rest of the team she would pick at the grass of the pitch like she was willing it to let her play well. With her headphones in and the heartbeat playing she missed Patri and Pina sneak up behind her. Once she took notice of their shadows Mapi turned around, a suspicious look on her face.

“Can I help you guys?”

“What music have you got on?” Patri smirked, laughing as Pina tried and failed to remove Mapi headphones.

“Nothing!” Mapi squeaked.

“You’re a liar Leon! Come on, tell us!” Pina then whispered, “Is it Ingrid saying dirty things?”

Both of them giggled as Mapi looked horrified, “Of course not! It’s just something special, something for my ears only.”

“Something that makes you seem away with the fairies!” Patri scoffed.

“No!” Mapi huffed, standing to walk back to the changing rooms.

“It’s soooo dirty messages, look at her face!” Pina shrieked as the both of them followed Mapi back down the tunnel.

It was in moments like that that Mapi knew her and Ingrid’s secret would soon be out to the team, something she was a little apprehensive about. How would they react? Would they be positive about it? She knew they would but in the back of Mapi’s mind there was a voice nagging that the team would be negative, it was a big secret and a big secret the two women had held for a while. 

After a strong 6-1 win over Valencia the coach was in party mode for the drive back to Barcelona. Mapi though was sat at the front with Alexia and Irene, away from the chaos she was usually at the centre of. This time Vicky and Jana noticed her absence and alerted Patri and Pina. The four of them made their way to where the older three were talking, Mapi had her headphones on yet again with that same drunken like look.

Patri and Alexia shared a look regarding this which alerted the younger Spanish midfielder to not question the look on Mapi’s face.

“Do you guys want to join the party?” Jana questioned, it seemed way too boring at the front of the bus for her.

“Sorry Jana, not today thanks.” Irene smiled, Mapi had been telling her and Putellas about their latest scan. That was something she’d much rather hear about than party. 

Vicky and Pina looked sad but the four of them accepted, chatting about how odd Mapi was acting on the way back. 

Once they were gone Mapi pulled out a picture of their latest ultrasound on her phone, the two older women gasping and awwing at the sight. It was a special time and they were so happy for their friends. 

Mapi cleared her throat, “We also got an even specialer thing from our appointment. We heard the baby’s heartbeat.”

Alexia’s jaw dropped as Mapi offered her the headphones. She gasped as the quick thump played and her hands grasped Irene’s who was impatiently waiting to hear the noise. 

Once Irene had heard it she pulled Mapi in for a hug, “That is so precious.”

The three of them talked about everything and nothing at all for the rest of the journey home, Mapi only half paying attention, she just wanted to get home to Ingrid. She missed her girlfriend more than ever. 

In the late evening Mapi finally arrived home to find Ingrid tucked up asleep on the sofa, some Norwegian drama Mapi knew she loved playing on the TV. Bagheera greeted her with a purr as she was nudged from Ingrid’s lap. Mapi carried her girlfriend bridal style to their bedroom. She failed to keep Ingrid asleep though, the Norwegian stirred awake and she was placed on the bed, her eyes watered as she saw Mapi who looked scared that she was why Ingrid was crying.

“Maria, you’re back!”

“Mhmm.”

“I missed you.”

“I missed you,” Mapi smiled, kissing Ingrid’s eyes, cheeks, nose, forehead and mouth. She needed to get across her love. Finally, she leaned down and lifted Ingrid top, placing a kiss to the warm skin of the bloat she murmured, “I missed you too baby.”

Ingrid’s hands moved to her stomach, “I also think baby missed you, everytime you came on screen during the match I started to cry. My emotions are everywhere!”

Mapi laughed and moved to stand up but Ingrid stopped her.

“Stay,” She whispered, “Unpack tomorrow, that can wait but cuddles can’t.”

“Alright mi amor.” The Spaniard chuckled.

___________

The next day was an off day, something that meant Mapi was happy to let Ingrid sleep for as long as she needed to. Her emotional outbursts seemed to make her a little more tired as the Norwegian’s body wasn’t yet used to the increase in hormones. Due to this Mapi aspired to make everything a little easier for Ingrid when she woke up, making breakfast and coffee was part of her routine anyway but a new aspect was to do Ingrid’s hair. 

Mapi finally heard Ingrid wake up around half ten, over two hours after she’d usually wake up, the extra sleep was very needed. 

“Good morning Maria,” She said, arms open for a hug.

“Morning Princesa, did you sleep alright?”

“I did, it was nice having you back in the bed with me.”

“I feel the same, I think I sleep better next to you.” Maria smiled as she led Ingrid to sit on their sofa, “Now you sit while I bring you your toast.”

Mapi was back in a flash with their breakfast and coffee, in between bites they spoke about their plan for Christmas or rather how they were going to tell their parents they were having a baby. The current plan was to spend Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day in Zaragoza with Mapi’s parents before coming back to Barcelona to then fly out to Norway for the new year. 

“Tell me again, Princesa. How are we letting them know?”

“It’ll be the very last present we give our parents, an extra special one. They’ll open a box, remove the tissue paper and see the ultrasound.”

Mapi kissed her cheek and moved so Ingrid was sat in front of her. Grabbing the hairbrush she stated,  “Then they’ll know.”

“Yeah,” Ingrid smiled, “They’ll know.”

Mapi finished the two plaits on Ingrid’s head, letting the rest of her hair cascade down her back freely and pulled out her laptop, a quick search on Amazon brought her to what she wanted. On the screen was a shirt with ‘best cousin’ written on it.

“I love it.”

The couple shared a sweet kiss before Ingrid brought up the others who needed to know.

“Elsking, how are we going to tell the team?”

“At a team meeting? That’s how a lot of people do it. Ours will be better though, we can jump up and say ‘Merry Christmas’ when the ultrasound comes on screen!” 

Ingrid laughed, “Let’s do it. I’ll get Frido to film it too.”

___________

December 16th 2025, Barcelona, Spain

The meeting room was full of life as Pere walked in, each week the energy grew as it got closer to Christmas. He clapped his hands, a signal to the team to listen but also a signal to Fridolina that she should start to film.

“Right ladies, we have our last game before Christmas tomorrow! So, before we start we have a special announcement for some extra joy…”

The screen behind him came to life, the photo of the ultrasound clear to all in the room. Players and staff alike gasped and screamed as Mapi and Ingrid jumped up from their seats, their screams of “Merry Christmas” echoed around the room. 

The majority of the team raced up, Patri and Pina piled onto Mapi and ruffled her hair whereas Aitana and Esmee raced to Ingrid, hugging her and wiping her tears. Frido soon joined in, the camera she had firmly in Ingrid’s face, any words she said were drowned out by Aitana. 

“Ingrid, oh my goodness!” The Spanish midfielder screeched, “You’re not injured, you’re pregnant!”

The Norwegian laughed as the crowd dispersed, she moved over to side hug Mapi, they stood in front of everyone as if they were open to questions. 

“How long?”

“When’s it coming?”

“Boy or girl?”

The questions didn’t stop until Mapi raised her arms in a sort of measure to hush the crowd.

“So,” She started, “We are at 11 weeks, the baby is due in June and we don’t know whether it’s a boy or girl yet. One final point I will add is that this news will not leave the room - no one outside of this team knows!”

“Guro, Frida and Maren know.” Ingrid whispered.

“Okay… no one outside of this team and Guro Reiten and Frida Maanum and Maren Mjelde know. So no telling.”

Squeals echoed through the room again. 

This good mood continued during training and the energy stayed high all throughout the last match of the year. Bilbao were an up and coming team and were defensively strong throughout the match. It remained 0-0 up until the dying minutes of the game until an 89th minute corner. Ona took the corner, the ball soared in the air heading for the back post, heading for the exact place Mapi was. She lept and headed the ball into the net with incredible force - no goalkeeper was stopping that goal. The Spaniard turned immediately and looked up into the crowd to search for Ingrid, she found her and raised her hand to point at the Norwegian and blew two kisses. Ingrid reciprocated the gesture and smiled as the full time whistle went.

Ingrid made her way down to the pitch, seeking to stand next to Mapi during the team talk. She found her and leaned into the Spaniard, she laid her head on Mapi’s shoulder, more focused on the warmth of her girlfriend than whatever Pere was talking about. Ingrid stayed in her own bubble until Mapi shook her, that’s when she noticed the whole team's eyes were on her. Esmee approached her, the cheeky look on her face Ingrid had seen too many times plastered on, it was then she noticed the bag in the Dutch woman’s hand. 

“As a team we thought you and Mapi deserved an early Christmas present, especially after the one you gave us. We weren’t able to top a present that special but we sure did try.”

Mapi took the bag and opened it for Ingrid to take out the two tops inside. She turned over the first top, the home kit, it read ‘Mamma Engen’. She chuckled and reached for the second, this time the kit read ‘Mami Leon’ which made Mapi howl with laughter with a proud look on her face.

“They’re brilliant!” Mapi beamed, “That’s our outfits for the Christmas party sorted then!”

The group of players quickly did their lap of the pitch before heading back to the changing rooms ready to make their way to Alexia’s apartment where the party was being held. 

The changing room was already buzzing with life when the couple entered, the younger players had a party playlist on, their singing could be heard from the hallway. Ingrid didn’t think much of it when she removed her top to switch to the gifted Barcelona one until she heard the gasp from Aitana.

“Ingrid Engen, is that a baby bump I see?”

The rest of the room went quiet, in just her bra and jeans the Norwegian took note of all the eyes on her. Looking at the slight swell of her stomach and the tightness of her jeans she nodded. 

“We like to think of it as a bloat but there’s something there for sure.”

Later that night, Mapi and Ingrid had Esmee, Aitana and Frido piled in the back of their car; they had designated themselves as drivers as Mapi was showing her solidarity with Ingrid not being able to drink. The atmosphere in the car was positive - Esmee would tease Mapi who had her hand over the console, drawing patterns over Ingrid’s jeans. Ingrid had a fond smile on her face, this was her second family and she knew their child was so lucky to grow up around them. 

They arrived at Alexia’s to a similar party as to what was in the changing room, alcohol clearly flowing through most of the team already. The balcony of the captain’s apartment was a makeshift dance floor and it wasn’t long before Mapi was dragged into the action. She didn’t quite have the flair that Jana and Vicky possessed but watching her dance was sure funny. Ingrid hung back at the food table to decipher what she wanted and returned next to Alexia with what the Spaniard could only describe as criminal.

“Engen… what is that on your plate?”

“Strawberries and sour cream. Come on Ale, that’s not that weird.”

“No, it is!”

The captain called for Mapi who stammered over, her energy to keep up with the younger players wearing off. Alexia looked shocked when Mapi exclaimed the food combo wasn’t the worst she’d seen Ingrid eat.

“She eats ice cream with cucumber all the time! Trust me, it could get worse.”

Ingrid cuddled into Mapi’s side, “Don’t knock it until you try it!”

Later that night the couple were found together away from the party. Mapi had sat them on Alexia’s sofa, inside and aside from the noise where the party continued outside. On her lap Ingrid was almost asleep when Aitana stumbled towards them with Frido, the two of them clearly had had a little too much to drink. 

“Leon, let me get a picture of you two.”

“There is no way I’m about to wake Ingrid up…”

Frido sighed, “You’re so sappy but that isn’t what we mean! We just want a picture of you two in your Mamma and Mami shirts!”

“You can try but I’m sure how you can without waking Ingrid up.”

Frido, the more stable of the pair, managed to get a couple of photos just as more of the crowd moved indoors due to the chill of the night. As the noise grew louder Mapi knew she and Ingrid would need to get going soon, she didn’t want her girlfriend to be woken up by the rowdier team members. While grumbling Mapi carefully extracted herself from underneath Ingrid and rounded up Esmee, Aitana and Frido to alert them the couple were leaving. The older two agreed to leave so Mapi led them down to her car before returning for Ingrid. The Spanish defender received several whoops as she lifted Ingrid into her arms, still certain on keeping her asleep. Eventually the younger Spaniard and Swede were dropped off at their own homes, by the time Mapi had parked at the couple’s Ingrid was still sleeping. Mapi looked at Ingrid with a fond look, she couldn’t wait for Christmas.

______

December 24th 2025, Zaragoza, Spain

“Maria, Ingrid, you’re finally here!” Mapi’s mother Pilar said as she opened the door. 

She led them inside where the smell of roasted lamb filled the house walls. They dropped their bags in Mapi’s bedroom, those walls still laced with movie and singer posters from her teenage years. Ingrid sat on the bed as Mapi looked through the storage boxes under her bed, clearly looking for something specific. She gasped as she found what she was searching for.

“Ingrid, this was one of my favourite teddies growing up!” She smiled holding up a grey bear, its blue ears and stomach discoloured from the love it had been shown, “I thought our baby could have it; I thought that when we go to your parents for New Years you could do the same…”

Ingrid didn’t reply with words but with a kiss. When Mapi looked into her eyes she could see the tears shimmering, Ingrid loved the idea. 

It wasn’t long before the pair were summoned to the dining room where Pilar had prepared a huge spread of food. There wasn’t a bare space anywhere, the food ranged from roasted lamb and potatoes to salads and fish. Dinner was a loud affair (as were most things that involved Maria Leon) and laughter was a constant whilst the four were eating.

 The noise began to wind down as Ingrid, Mapi and the latters parents moved to the living room, hot chocolates in hand. The three Leon’s chatted as a movie played in the background, Ingrid was happy to occasionally input her thoughts into the conversation but it had been a long travel day and she was ready to go to bed. As Mapi’s hand rhythmically scratched her scalp it wasn’t long before Ingrid fell asleep. It was a precious sight to see - Mapi’s parents were happy for their daughter, she had found someone who she loved and loved her deeply. 

And how that happiness would grow in the morning…

_________

December 25th 2025, Zaragoza, Spain

Today Ingrid woke up first. The first place she headed was the bathroom, she couldn’t tell whether her sickness was down to the morning sickness that had become a regular occurrence or the nerves she had acquired about telling their parents. Thankfully the Norwegian didn’t need to spend too long crouched over the toilet before making her way back to Mapi’s room. She quietly laughed as she took sight of her girlfriend - Mapi had starfished out and her face was pressed into the space Ingrid had occupied as if the smell of her kept the Spaniard asleep. Maneuvering herself back under the covers Ingrid cupped her stomach, Mapi’s parents would find out their secret today. Knowing she wouldn’t fall back asleep Ingrid used one hand to unlock her phone as the other remained on her belly, she sent off ‘Merry Christmas!’ texts to her friends and family and sighed peacefully. This was where she was supposed to be: the love of her life beside her and their baby in her belly, life couldn’t get any better.

Eventually Mapi woke and shifted to lay half on top of Ingrid. Sleepily she whispered “Merry Christmas mi Princesa” and kissed whatever skin she could find. Ingrid smiled down at her girlfriend as Mapi lifted the baggy top Ingrid wore and kissed her stomach whispering ‘Good morning’ to the baby inside. 

Eyeing up the green bag on Mapi’s desk the Spaniard said, “My parents find out today.”

“Yeah,” Ingrid smiled, “They do.”

A comforting silence came over the duo, both content with eachothers company. A sense of peace before exiting the room and into whatever chaos the older Leon’s had waiting for them downstairs. 

As per their routine in Barcelona Mapi now did Ingrid’s hair, a skill she was mastering faster. The feeling of Ingrid’s thick and sometimes unruly hair gliding through the hairbrush satisfying. But before that outfits had to be picked, a task that Ingrid had the common sense to choose before their trip over the country. Unlike Mapi who had started to drown the floor with her clothes, none of the clothes or combos fit with what she wanted, Ingrid got dressed quickly. She had chosen a tight black dress, one that would hide the bloat long enough before their secret was revealed covered by a black blazer. 

“Maria,” She said in a sing-song voice, legs swinging from her seat on the desk chair, “I can hear your mum and dad from downstairs. We can’t keep them waiting for much longer.”

In the end the Spanish centre back chose a white vest shaped crop top and black trousers that touched the floor. In a flash Mapi put her hair in her signature hairstyle, a low bun, and then got to work on Ingrid’s. Everyday she seemed to improve, today no different as she finished a ponytail on Ingrid and split the hair into three plaits. Outfits and hair complete meant the couple were ready to go. With one hand on their box of presents and the other tightly connected to Ingrid’s, Mapi led them downstairs.

The women were greeted with many presents under the Christmas tree and hugs from both of Mapi’s parents who were also dressed and ready to celebrate. They all moved into the kitchen and prepared a variety of meals for lunch such as meats, fish, vegetables and dessert for after. It was the quiet chaos they were all used to as the four shuffled around to finish the dish Pilar tasked them with. Lunch was shared over laughter and there wasn’t a plate or dish that hadn’t gone untouched. A tradition in the Leon house was to go on a walk after Christmas lunch so that's what they did. Mapi and Ingrid stayed behind the former's parents by a few steps, their arms locked snuggly with smiles on their faces. The two in front of them had no idea what would happen once they were back at the house. 

Presents and pastries were a must after the walk, Mapi ate hers nervously between the presents she received. Mapi had been given a number of books, socks and random trinkets that her parents knew she loved whereas Ingrid received many crosswords, both in Norwegian and Spain, as well as some succulents. Pilar and Mapi’s dad, Javiar, went next and were both happy with what the couple gifted them. 

It was then time to give them the final present, the present that would tell them they were going to have a grandchild next year. Mapi revealed it from beside her, citing that they had saved the best for last.

The present didn’t look like much, just a green gift bag and some tissue paper. Ingrid and Mapi watched with anticipation as Mapi’s mum removed the tissue paper. Pilar gasped at what she saw inside, taking a minute to close her eyes and check again, she couldn’t believe it. Javiar noticed his wife's strange reaction and took the ultrasound out of the gift bag and he too gasped at what he saw.

“Are you serious?” Pilar whispered as if she spoke any louder the news wouldn’t be true.

“We’re pregnant.” 

“Oh my god.” She cried, moving quickly to hug Ingrid and Mapi. She kissed their cheeks, stroked their hair and beamed with happiness.

“We’re getting a grandbaby?” Javiar smiled, he wrapped his arms around Pilar from behind and kissed her shoulder blade.

“Yeah, we’re having a baby!” Mapi squealed, her arms circled around Ingrid to hold her stomach, the bloat slightly prominent as the afternoon turned to evening. 

Ingrid removed her blazer, turned and cupped her stomach making the swell more obvious, “That’s your grandbaby in there.”

Pilar broke down in tears again, she couldn’t believe it. Her baby was having a baby. 

_____________

December 30th 2025, Barcelona, Spain

Christmas in Zaragoza was brilliant, it was filled with memories and happiness that Mapi and Ingrid would never forget. The reaction they got from Javiar and Pilar was priceless, they were going to be the best grandparents. 

Before they got back to the Barcelona airport to fly to Trondheim the couple were able to spend a few days at home. Their apartment in Barcelona held its own surprise for the two women’s return. Ingrid had unlocked the door to find a collection of presents waiting with a post-it note stuck to the top. Alexia’s neat cursive read ‘Merry Christmas! From Irene and Ale xx.’  Within the presents were baby bottles, Barcelona themed onesies, socks, perfume and a baby book that Mapi would be able to customise. It was all so thoughtful. 

To make this Christmas even more special, Mapi spotted something the night before they were due to fly. Since Ingrid had shown her the bloat bump the Spaniard was very in tune with her girlfriend’s body, something a lot of the team attributed to whenever Mapi was distracted at training, so when Ingrid made her way to brush her teeth the night before their flight Mapi’s jaw dropped.  

“Maria, elskling, you’re dribbling!”

The older woman’s jaw slammed shut and she quickly rinsed her mouth, “Ingrid… I think we’ve got a proper bump starting. I- Look at you, you’re glowing.”

Ingrid looked down and then at herself in their bathroom mirror. She couldn’t believe it, she was showing an actual bump. Pressing it her belly was slightly harder to the touch, a real indicator that their baby was there as Ingrid’s muscles hadn’t stretched to accommodate the extra life inside yet. 

With tears in her eyes Ingrid spoke softly, “I officially have a baby bump.”

“Princesa,” Mapi gently palmed the Norwegian’s stomach and gasped, “You’re at twelve weeks now… this warrants a polaroid.” 

“It does. Come on, get your camera!”

The app read that the baby now measured similarly to a plum, an item that was thankfully a favourite of Mapi’s meaning there was always stock in the fridge. Mapi crouched with her polaroid camera and kissed the skin of Ingrid’s rounded belly, the Norwegian had a plum in her hand as she smiled down at the centre back. The polaroid came out perfectly, the love between the two women was pouring out of the picture. Ingrid wrote ‘Week 12 - Plum’ on the front and Mapi intercepted to write ‘The first time we noticed the bump’ on the back before Ingrid stuck the polaroid alongside the others on their noticeboard. 

Back in the present day Ingrid had doubled and triple checked that the ultrasound had been packed, her nerves only properly calming when Mapi led her into the airport lounge. She’d upgraded their plane tickets to first class without telling Ingrid until they checked in. 

“You deserve the maximum amount of comfort, mi amor.” Mapi would say, “You’re carrying precious cargo now!”

Ingrid then laughed, “You’re crazy…”

“I prefer to say ‘overprotective’.”

Hours later the duo landed in Trondheim where Ingrid’s parents had driven to collect them. The journey back to the Engen’s was quiet, it had been a long day of travel for the younger two and Ingrid had fallen asleep halfway to her parents. Her head lay secure on Mapi’s shoulder; her smile was content as if she knew Mapi’s hand was stroking the bump. By holding Ingrid in a way she thought was subtle Mapi was sure Ingrid’s parents were still in the dark about the baby, they weren’t (of course) as the Spaniard wasn’t known for subtlety. 

Ingrid was still asleep as they arrived prompting Mapi to let the older two get in their house while she woke her girlfriend up.

“Ingrid, Princesa, we’re here. It’s time to wake up.”

The Norwegian stirred, her eyes opened as she yawned, “Time to tell my parents.”

“It is huh. Let’s unpack first… you are half asleep and need to pick out a teddy for our little one.”

Ingrid slowly exited the car and followed Mapi up to her old bedroom. She shook off any feeling of sleep by rifling through her boxes of teddies. There was a specific one she was looking for and there would be hell to pay if Ingrid couldn’t find it. Obviously it didn’t take long until Ingrid did - from the bottom of one of the boxes she presented a navy elephant to Mapi.

“This. This is my teddy for our child, it was my favourite and I hope it’ll be one of theirs too.”

“Oh Ingrid, it's adorable!”

__________

December 31st 2025, Trondheim, Norway

In Mapi’s mind there was no better time to tell Gudrun and Ørjan than on New Years Eve, a day of celebration and new beginnings. Ingrid on the other hand couldn’t be less obvious about her nerves. Her mother had asked on several occasions whether she was sick as Ingrid wouldn’t stop pacing, prompting her father to constantly ask her if she wanted to go out on walks. 

It was decided that after dinner the news would be broken. A dinner that Ingrid couldn’t eat much of as she was so scared. Her parents had been eyeing her weirdly all night, the table was filled with all her favourites but her plate stayed mainly empty. 

“Mamma, Pappa,” Ingrid said once they were back in the living room, “We have one last present. One we didn’t give you yesterday.”

She got up to get the gift bag from her bedroom and handed it over to her mum when she returned. Ingrid sat down on Mapi’s lap, playing with her fingers to combat the nerves.

Gudrun smiled as she opened the bag, she had an inkling on what was inside. Removing the tissue paper she looked over at her daughter, “Ingrid!!” She exclaimed, looking back at the ultrasound. 

“A grandbaby?” Ørjan said, tears had started to roll down his cheeks.

“Yeah,” Ingrid uttered, her tears clear to see, “We’re having a baby.”

Each parent took it in turn to kiss Mapi and Ingrid’s cheek. They were so happy for the couple, they were getting another grandbaby.

As the excitement levels lowered it grew closer to midnight. The countdown started and Mapi wrapped her arms around Ingrid, she made sure her hands circled their growing baby. 

As the clock struck midnight Mapi spun Ingrid around for a kiss, she whispered, “Happy New Year, mi amor. Here's to the best year yet.” 

Ingrid smiled and leaned in for another, “We become parents this year.”

Mapi moved downward to kiss Ingrid’s bump, something that made it obvious to Gudrun and Ørjan that there really was a baby in there, “We meet you this year…” She whispered to the bump under Ingrid’s jumper.

They were ready for 2026 and whatever it would throw at them. 

Masterlist!!

[unabashegirl]

Different 11 - college hs

Harry's quiet, routine-driven life changes one weekend when he meets Y/N through a mutual friend at her party. She comes from a superficial, materialistic world with absent parents who believe money solves everything. Despite their differences, something clicks that night, and Y/N can't stop thinking about him.

Authors note: Hey everyone! I wanted to take a moment to thank you all for your incredible support. I’m currently 164 subscribers away from being able to cover my medical school tuition, which is a huge milestone for me. I’m not sharing this because I’m asking anyone to contribute more, but rather to see if you could help spread the word by reposting. Sharing my posts and helping me reach new people would make a world of difference, and I’d be so grateful for your help. Thanks again for everything!

check out my patreon (starting at $2) and get full access to the rest of the chapters, various one shots and much more :)

---> different masterlist <---

Harry was profoundly infatuated with her. He liked everything about her. He was fascinated by all her little actions, like how she fiddled with the pendant on her necklace when she was analyzing something or how she would stick the tip of her tongue out when she was carefully focused on a task.

Because of this, he wasn’t bothered when Ganesh scolded him upon arrival, nor did he care that he had to stay up later than usual to finish his work for the next day. It was all worth it because he’d gotten to spend time with her.

“Do you understand where I’m coming from?” Ganesh stressed, pacing around the dorm room. He had stayed up just to tell him off.

“Yeah.” Harry honestly had no excuse. He had gotten so distracted with Y/N that he’d forgotten about all the work he needed to catch up on. “Sorry,” he muttered, just wanting to get Ganesh off his back. Harry was only interested in texting Y/N and letting her know what a wonderful time he had spent with her. He also wanted some time alone to process everything and savor it.

“How was it?” Ganesh asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Good.” Harry wasn’t one to share too much about his private life.

“That’s nice. Maybe we should go out for coffee with her sometime.” Ganesh had been raised by extremely strict parents who demanded nothing short of perfection. He didn’t understand his roommate's obsession with the girl. Ganesh could tell Harry had a promising future, and to him, Y/N was just a distraction.

“I’ll let her know,” Harry nodded, turning on his laptop and settling at the desk. He checked his phone as soon as he noticed Ganesh getting into bed.

Y/N let him know she was home and safe and that it had taken her a while to respond because she’d taken a bath. She fell asleep before he finished his work, holding her phone in the middle of sending a text, even after she had reassured Harry she wasn’t tired.

Harry couldn’t blame her. It had been a long day. He was tired too, but his thoughts about her kept him entertained. He couldn’t forget the way she looked at him, the way she touched him. It drove him crazy. In the middle of his organic chemistry homework, his pants were once again uncomfortably tight. Harry shifted around, but it was impossible to get comfortable. So, after much sighing, he decided to take a cold shower.

The water cooled him down; it wasn’t relaxing, especially since the temperature outside was almost below zero, but it was soothing. He shut off the water once he had calmed down, just in time to hear his phone ring.

“Where have you been?!” Mitch yelled loudly. He had been surprised not to see Harry in class.

“With Y/N,” Harry answered truthfully as he took some clean clothes from his drawer. He was drained and just wanted to end the call, but Mitch was his closest friend. However, Harry was exhausted, needed sleep, and had an entire day of class ahead.

“How was it?” Mitch asked with curiosity. He still couldn’t believe that his quirky, introverted friend was hanging out with one of the most desirable girls in college.

“I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow,” Harry sighed as he got into bed and turned off the lights. “I’m exhausted.”

“Deal.” Harry hung up and cuddled into his pillows and blankets.

People were chatting loudly, and the clinking of utensils against plates made the atmosphere even more chaotic. Harry was the first to sit at their usual spot and start eating. He was having carbonara pasta with some bread that wasn’t as bad as he’d expected. He just hoped his stomach wouldn’t disagree later.

“I just had the worst class ever,” Sarah sighed as she sat down at the table. “What are you reading?” She noticed Harry reading some printed copies.

“An article about a new medicine the FDA is trying out. It’s for my research class.”

“For next week? You’re really getting ahead.”

“It was due yesterday. I have to send my thoughts to the professor via email.” He had written to everyone, saying he had a family emergency, and because Harry was such a good student, all his professors had given him an extra day.

“You didn’t go to class? Where were you?” She asked as she stuffed her face with her favorite salad.

“With Y/N. We went out.”

“Where?”

“North Shore. To a drive-in.”

“That’s cute.” Sarah smiled, glancing over his shoulder as she spotted Mitch making his way to the table with a big tray filled with all types of food. “Did you tell her how you feel about her?” she asked just as Mitch sat down. “She’s not going to wait around.”

“It’s official,” he said casually as he annotated the corners of the article. Just as they were talking about her, he received a text from Y/N.

I’ve got a test to study for. Want to meet me at the library after lunch? I’ll see you in a few hours.

“Who are you texting, and why are you so smiley?” Vanessa had been Y/N’s closest friend since freshman year. They had met during pre-season. They weren’t as close as some other friends, but Y/N felt she could genuinely trust her, unlike the other girls she had met.

“Harry,” she replied, trying not to blush in the middle of class.

“When am I going to get the chance to meet him?” Vanessa had heard from others that her friend had started seeing someone on campus. “I hate this class,” she mumbled, typing something quickly on her laptop from the professor’s lecture.

“Are you going to the party?” Y/N whispered back as she tried to keep up with her notes.

“Of course. Is he going?”

“I think so. I’ll introduce you then.” Vanessa nodded as they quieted down and turned their attention back to class.

Y/N waved goodbye to Vanessa and the other girls as class was dismissed. She was excited to meet Harry and spend time with him, even if they didn’t speak much. She just wanted to be close to him. So, she headed toward the library, stopping at the coffee shop to pick up two lattes and a snack.

Y/N had some tedious neurology homework to do and needed to prepare for an upcoming test.

“What do you want?” she asked after settling at one of the tables closest to the door. Her laptop and planner, with its highly organized schedule, were out. She had started reading her neurology assignment when Brian rudely interrupted her. Y/N stared at the screen in front of her, not bothering to look at him after that night.

“I came to do homework, just like you.” He pulled a chair out and sat down. “What’s with the attitude?” Brian played college football and was an exceptional athlete. People worshiped him, especially this season, after he came close to winning a championship for the university. With great popularity came a big ego, keeping most people at a distance. In the beginning, his boldness and confidence had drawn Y/N to him, but that was before she saw his ugly side.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she replied, playing dumb and trying not to feel intimidated by him. “I’m just doing work.” His hand came down hard on her laptop, shutting it closed.

“We need to talk. Hear me out,” he hissed, his patience wearing thin.

Brian Hill was a man who always got what he wanted, and he was willing to go to great lengths. And he wanted Y/N back.

chapter 12

[yearningagain]

it's enough (to make a girl blush): chapter two

HELLO!!! welcome to chapter two! i'm amazed at the traction that this has gained with just the first chapter, and it's giving me so much motivation to continue this!

i've also decided to open up my ask box for suggestions for rambles and ficlets, so please shoot me a message if you feel so inclined!

and of course a huge thank you to @kayleeofcamelot for betaing and helping me so much!! without further ado!

also on ao3!

total wc: 2.6k | wc: 1.4k | rating: e (18+) | pairing: steddie | cw: none | tags: a/b/o, alpha eddie munson, omega steve harrington, modern au, baker steve, famous eddie, getting together, gay eddie, bi steve, soulmates/true mates/scent mates, side buckingham

part one | part three

--------------

Steve loved Robin more than he thought he could love anyone. She was the peanut butter to his jelly, the rock to his roll, the yin to his yang. He doesn't know how he managed as long as he did before meeting her, and he frankly doesn't know what he would do without her now. 

That being said, sometimes she does make Steve want to give himself another concussion. 

Lunch at the deli had been uneventful. They had eaten their sandwiches while nestled in the window booth in the back corner, turned to look out onto the streets of Chicago. Most of their conversation was driven by judgmental comments about passerby’s, ranging from jabs about interesting color choices on someone's tracksuit to monologues about wearing a faux fur coat with cheetah print leggings (“It’s the principle, Rob! You wouldn’t get it”).

After finishing their meals, the pair made their way across the street to the record store. Upon entry, Steve was surrounded by deep earthy scents, old vinyl and incense mingled with the fresh flowers growing in pots littered about. And that brought them to their current situation.

Robin was making a complete and utter fool out of herself. She was bright red in the face, and Steve couldn’t tell if it was from pure mortification or her complete lack of breathing for the past five minutes. As soon as a little blonde omega, introduced as Chrissy, emerged from the shelves to greet them and show them around, the alpha had not been able to stop her mouth from running and running. Now, normally in these situations, Steve would insert himself into Robin's one sided conversation and slow her down, purely to rescue the other person from being roped into a woven tale of at least six subjects at once. But after one look at Chrissy, and the adoration and attentiveness in her expression, he decided to leave it be. 

At the back corner of the shop was a small gathering of armchairs, a loveseat, and a small wooden coffee table. Plopping down into the comfiest looking chair, leaving the girls to their own devices, Steve pulled out his phone to start tackling the sea of messages he had received during the night. 

Dusty

12:58 AM: STEVE

STEVEN

12:59 AM: STEVEN HARRINGTON

STEVEN LOUISE HARRINGTON

1:01 AM: do you even love me anymore

1:08 AM: if i were dying i'd be dead by now

1:14 AM: ☠️☠️🩸🩸

1:27 AM: okay whatever goodnight steven text me when you’re  alive again ig 🙄

11:39 AM: Jesus Christ kid

That’s not even my name

11:40 AM: Did you die?

11:41 AM: no

11:41 AM: So what was so important?

11:43 AM: before i say anything i want to remind you that  i know all of your secrets and also you love me sooo much  and you’re the best babysitter ever and you owe me for  letting my mom hire you at the shop

11:44 AM: Dustin. What did you do.

11:44 AM: nothing!

i didn’t do anything i swear on my mother

11:45 AM: Okay…

So…?

11:46 AM: my favorite band is playing here next month but its an 18+ show

mom would never come with me, she’d have a heart attack i think

so i need you to take me

11:48 AM: i can pay for your ticket if you want!

11:50 AM: steve?

A loud crash echoed from within the shop, followed by an extremely disheveled Robin popping her head into the nook. "I need your help."

—

Leaving the girls was both the best and worst decision Steve could have made. 

In the ten minutes of inattentiveness, the alpha had managed to talk for seven of them consecutively. After realizing she had been talking herself in circles, she tried to reign it in, which ultimately ended in her accidental confession of attraction towards Chrissy. That then led to a kiss-turned-make-out, in which Robin had tried to push the shorter girl against a wall for more leverage. However, blinded by her circumstances, she pushed the omega into one of the shelves, effectively knocking it and its contents to the ground. They were old antique shelves that had been modified with basket-drawers to store records and other miscellaneous objects, they were heavy . 

Steve would be upset, but the dark blush and lovesick smile never quite left Robin's face. 

With that mess dealt with, he was finally able to respond to Dustin. He shot a quick 'Sure. Just LMK the deets ' text and slid his phone back into his pocket. Chrissy led them both back to the nook, bustling about and making sure they were comfortable.

"Steve, I am so incredibly sorry about that! Please sit here, let me go grab something and I'll be right back!" She dashed off down a small hallway towards the back of the building.

Steve shook his head at Robin, sighing loudly. "Couldn't keep it in your pants?"

The alpha huffed and looked away. She huffed again, this time more of a sniff. And then again. 

"Steve, are you fucking with me or something?"

Furrowing his eyebrows, he followed suit in her actions by taking his own sniff of the air. "What? What's going on?"

She continues sniffing, seemingly following the scent. Standing from her spot on the loveseat, laser focused on tracking, she walks right over to Steve.

"Your scent, it's changing. I knew it was different this morning! I know what you smell like, dingus. And you don't smell like you anymore. Well, okay, you still smell like you! But it's like you're roasting apples in the woods on a camping trip. And you've always smelled like apples, so I'm glad that's the same, but now it's different. Has anything weird happened lately? Have you felt different at all? Do you have a fever?" Her curiosity morphs into concern and she starts placing her hands over the omegas face, seeing if she can tell the temperature. "I've never been good at this. Should we go to the doctor? Do we need an ambulance? Shit, did you get poisoned?"

Steve grabbed her hands firmly, guiding them to his chest and taking a deep breath. "Breathe. I'm not dying, Robs. I think I'd know if I was." He takes a few more measured breaths, pulling her down into his lap for a hug. 

After he was sure she was calm, he relaxed his grip, but didn't let go. "I was actually meaning to ask you about something. Nothing bad, I promise! I just... I had this really weird dream last night and I woke up convinced it had actually happened. I was so convinced there would be physical proof, but there wasn't any. But I could smell the alpha in my dream. Have you ever had a dream where you could smell the other people?"

Robin looked at him calculatingly, a crease forming in her brow at the thought. "No, never. I didn't think it was a thing that happened."

"Exactly. I could smell him, birdie. I could feel him. It was real . Until it wasn't. I woke up heartbroken. For no real reason." He sighed once more, lowering his gaze to his fingers rested in his lap.

"Okay, I am so sorry once again, and I had no intention to eavesdrop whatsoever, but I want to help." Chrissy emerged from the hallway with a plate of mini cupcakes, a sheepish expression. 

Steve waved her off. "It's all good. If you don't think I'm crazy, I don't mind suggestions."

She set the plate of cupcakes onto the coffee table and sat down on the loveseat. Robin quickly scrambled off of Steve to sit next to the other omega, shooting him an apologetic glance. 

"So, basically, I read this book once, out of pure curiosity, that was about fate and the universe and all that. It had a whole section about how, years and years ago, alphas and omegas were randomly going through what seemed to be second presentations. It started with scent changes, and apparently a lot of people experienced some sort of initial mental connection. These changes were way less severe, and oftentimes not noticeable until a random heat or rut was triggered. When that would happen, it was always a pair at a time, one alpha and one omega. The moment they would smell the other for the first time is the moment their respective presentations would complete. They'd come out the other side bonded and, most often, pupped. Their bodies were preparing."

Steve stared at Chrissy, mouth agape. "Preparing for what, exactly?"

"Their soulmate!"

[matthewsbrowserhistory]

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Envy The Leaves

Chapter 11

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Everyone has soon gone to sleep. The house is so quiet that you could hear a pin drop.

It’s also extremely dark. The darkness is one of my biggest fears; the thought of not being able to see my surroundings terrifies me. At least I’m not enclosed in a bedroom—that would make it so much worse. This I can bear.

The slightest illumination is coming from down the hall where the bathroom is. I feel safer here than anywhere else. It’s nearly three in the morning, and I have yet to close my eyes.

I stare into the darkness, alone with my thoughts. I can’t get Matt out of my head. Every time I close my eyes, I can see his crystal blue ones. I can almost still smell him if I think hard enough.

Then I hear the door to Matt’s bedroom open, almost as if I summoned him.

He walks down the hallway and into the kitchen. I sit up, and I guess he hears my movements because he looks straight at me.

He is shirtless, wearing red flannel pajama pants.

“Oh, I forgot you were in here. I hope I didn’t wake you up,” he says while opening the fridge and grabbing a water bottle.

“You didn’t wake me up. I haven’t gone to sleep yet,” I reply.

“I haven’t gone to sleep either. My mind always starts racing when I try to sleep—too many thoughts,” he says, sighing.

“Wanna think together?” I ask, patting the couch next to me.

He turns around, opens the fridge for a second time, grabs another water bottle, and then heads over to the couch. I lift the blanket to let him have some too. He towers over me for a split second, our eyes locking.

I can almost feel an electric wave throughout my body. I wonder if he feels it too?

He sits down, oh so close to me. I throw the blanket over him and bring my knees to my chest. He hands me the second water bottle.

“For your troubles,” he says.

“Thank you,” I say, huffing a laugh.

“What’s on your mind?” he asks after I’ve taken a couple of sips.

“Well, it turns out I have a stalker,” I say, looking at him and smiling.

I might as well get straight to the point. I wasn’t going to tell any of the triplets, but I figured it was best that someone knew, especially since the creep showed up at their house.

“What?” he replies, shocked.

His eyebrows raised and his mouth slightly parted.

“Yeah, I’ve been getting creepy texts all day. And…” I pause.

“And?” “While you guys were gone today, they left me a lovely package on the doorstep,” I say sarcastically.

“Here?!” he exclaims.

I nod.

“What was in it?” He seems calmer now, as if he senses my hesitation and doesn’t want to startle me.

“A red balloon, my childhood stuffed animal, and a poster from my room that Madison decorated.”

“No shit, you’re not sleeping. That’s creepy as fuck.”

“Yeah, that’s the real reason we didn’t want to sleep there tonight.”

“I don’t blame you. You all can stay here as long as you want. Actually, I don’t even want you to go back over there, at least for a couple of days.”

There’s silence for a few beats until he speaks again.

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?”

“I just… I feel like so many things have been happening to me recently, and I didn’t want to add any more. I mean, with my panic attack and all the texts—”

He cuts me off.

“Hey,” he says gently, placing a hand on my knee for comfort.

“Shit like this happens. You can’t always control everything.” His eyes are piercing my soul.

He has a mixture of concern and admiration on his face as he starts to rub his thumb on my knee.

“I know, I just feel bad,” I say, looking away.

I can’t look into his eyes for too long.

“There’s no reason for you to feel bad. Since you’ve started hanging out with us and Madison being your best friend, some crazy fan has just taken an interest in you. It’s not totally uncommon.” He tries to ease my guilt.

The scary part is still unspoken—they knew what my childhood stuffed animal looked like, and they fully went into mine and Madison’s home. But I won't bring it up again. Not thinking about it will be my best solution.

“So, you don’t mind me infiltrating your space?” I ask, half-laughing.

“I don’t mind at all. I actually like having you here.” He has a sense of curiosity, like he’s testing the waters.

“Yeah?” I tease.

“Yeah,” he whispers, nothing but seriousness in his tone as his eyes bore into mine.

“Well,” he starts, standing up, as if he’s scared he might go too far.

“I guess I need to try and get some rest.” He starts to walk off.

I lay down and try to get comfy, but I realize I don’t want to be alone again.

“Matt,” I whisper. He turns around to look at me.

“Can you lay with me? Just until I fall asleep?” I ask, scared of the response.

Without saying a word, he walks back over to me, sets our waters on the coffee table, and climbs in beside me, pulling the blanket over him too. I can feel his hard chest rest against my back as he drapes an arm over me.

“Thank you,” I say, but I don’t think he can hear me; my voice is so small.

His rhythmic breaths fill the silence, calming me. For the first time in a really long time, I sleep peacefully. Not a single worry crosses my mind as the world goes black.

©matthewsbrowerhistory

[taomubiji]

25 Facts About Xie Yuchen

1. Xie Yuchen was born on October 3, 1978.

2. Xie Yuchen's stage name, Jie Yuhua, comes from the poem 《蝶恋花（用宜笑之语作）》 by Zhao Shixia.

3. Xie Yuchen and Wu Xie were playmates when Xie Yuchen was five or six years old.

4. Xie Yuchen and Wu Xie are distant cousins.

5. As a child, Xie Yuchen would play Hua Dan and Qingyi (types of female roles) in Chinese opera. As a result, many people, including Wu Xie, thought he was a girl.

6. After Xie Yuchen's uncle, Xie Lianhuan, died, his father died soon after, and then several more of his uncles died.

7. Xie Yuchen had to take over the family business at 8 years old.

8. Xie Yuchen described the experiences he had growing up as "very, very uncomfortable."

9. He lived in a military compound.

10. When a friend of his caused trouble, he bought more than a hundred sheep to make up for it.

11. The first time Xie Yuchen appears he is described by Wu Xie as being dressed in a black suit with a pink shirt underneath and no tie.

12. He originally wore the color pink to offset his murderous aura.

13. When Xie Yuchen and Wu Xie met again as adults, they both smiled "pervertedly" at each other.

14. Xie Yuchen became a guarantor for Wu Xie's debt after Wu Xie's now-legendary disastrous biddings at the Xin Yue Restaurant.

15. In the online version of Sand Sea 2, Xie Yuchen throws Su Wan, Yang Hao, Li Cu, and Liang Wan out the window of a moving train.

16. In The Lost Tombs and Ultimate Note, Xie Yuchen is included much more than in the novels the shows adapted. However, in Reunion and Tomb of the Sea, his role is significantly reduced.

17. He sings every year during the Qingming Festival for Er Yuehong.

18. Wu Xie thinks he is "an extremely difficult person to get along with."

19. Xie Yuchen likes salty foods.

20. He was the biggest contributor in preventing Chinese national treasures from being exported.

21. Xie Yuchen smokes cigarettes but isn't addicted.

22. He has a habit of collecting old buildings.

23. In his free time, he practices Chinese opera, paints, and arranges flowers.

24. Xie Yuchen has used a butterfly knife and an antique dagger as weapons.

25. A the age of seventeen, he had already been surrounded by death and had even heard the words "it’s going to rain blood tonight" by his own mother.

References

English novel references refer to Merebear's translation, Chinese novel references refer to the original Chinese version.

Photo: From NP Entertainment's Merch Weibo

Author Celebrated His Birthday on October 3; Volume 7, Chapter 56; 盗墓笔记7， 第五十一章 (XYC says that he's 26yo, V7 takes place in 2004).

The Mystic Nine Memories Extra; 九门回忆 (Note: it should be Jie Yuhua not Xie Yuhua in merebear's translation)

Volume 7, Chapter 31; 盗墓笔记7，第二十六章

The Mystic Nine (4) Xie-Wu Matchmaking Extra; 吴邪私家笔记，第三卷，九五做媒; 老九门短篇集 肆——九五做媒

Volume 7, Chapter 56; 盗墓笔记7， 第五十一章

Volume 7, Chapter 56; 盗墓笔记7， 第五十一章

Volume 7, Chapter 56; 盗墓笔记7， 第五十一章

Volume 7, Chapter 56; 盗墓笔记7， 第五十一章

Sand Sea, Chapter 112; 沙海3， 第一章

Volume 7, Chapter 35; 盗墓笔记7， 第三十章

Volume 7, Chapter 5; 盗墓笔记6：邛笼石影， 第五章

A Day in the Life of Xie Yuchen Extra; 解语花的一天

Volume 7, Chapter 6; 盗墓笔记6：邛笼石影，第六章

Some of Wu Xie's Thoughts Extra; 吴邪的小心情

Sand Sea, Chapter 73; 沙海2， 第三十四章 (Note: this part was removed in the print version)

Watch the shows; read the books

Xiao Hua’s Annual Party Extra; 小花的年会

Seven Fingers Extra, Chapter 13; 七指，第十三章

Fishing King Extra, Chapter 7; 钓王， 第七章

Sand Sea (Online), Chapter 89; 沙海2 (Online)，第五十章 (Note: this part was removed in the print version)

A Day in the Life of Xie Yuchen Extra; 解语花的一天

A Thousand Faces, Chapters 1, 17; 千面，第一，十七章 (Note: I don't have the published version)

Sand Sea (Online), Chapter 88; 沙海2 (Online)，第四十九章; 沙海2 (Print), 第五十一章

Volume 7, Chapter 31; 盗墓笔记7 第二十五章; Sand Sea (Online), Chapter 75; 沙海2 (Online), 第三十六章; 沙海2 (Print), 第五十章

Volume 8, Chapter 10; 盗墓笔记8 第十章

[weeeeeekly]

quarter life crisis – ot5 tomorrow x together x afab!reader

˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊

blurb !!! Reincarnation can bring soulmates together despite their time apart. Being a huge fan of TOMORROW X TOGETHER helped you get through the struggles of entering early adulthood. You would thank them personally if you ever could but when you possibly get the chance it’s more than what you could ever hope for.

info !!! txt are still idols, reincarnation au, soulmates au, polyamory, throuple²… they’ll all eventually date each other, mc has mental health struggles, universe assigned lactose intolerance, team no kids, glasses wearer, lives in the middle of fuck nowhere but still a city (just go with it), pet names used are “our love” and princess, & not edited.

wc: 1.7k

WARNINGS !!! NSFW, MDNI, 18+, extremely self-indulgent, soft yandere!txt, mentions of mental health & self-harm (nothing graphic) for entire series

author’s note !!! This is fiction!!! this is made up!!! I do not condone breaking in, stalking, and other ulterior motives to get close to someone you are romantically interested in.

why are there not more ot5!txt x fem/afab or gender-neutral reader… mandatory note that i do not think txt act like this in real life. I also cannot come up with a blurb for the life of me, so please peep the info tags.

˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊

CHAPTER THREE

TXT could not just be friends with you – their soulmate – the one person left on this Earth to complete them. Someone made for them. Their last love from their previous life.

They could play the long game with you. They had all the time in the world now that you were back in their lives.

They watch from the peephole to figure out your schedule. After Taehyun’s first accidentally run in with you, he made sure to go to the gym early in the morning, but soon realized that you didn’t leave for work until 7 AM. He learned that when he was walking back to the apartment the next day when you greeted him while locking your door. Soobin learned that you got home around 4:30 PM when he went out to get snacks. Kai learned what car you drove and your designated parking spot when he was sitting on the balcony, strumming his guitar. Beomgyu learned that your room was on the other side of the thin wall of their kitchen when he heard you talking to a friend at 11 PM every night. Yeonjun learned that your roommate worked as an ER nurse and would be working all day Friday when he overheard them on the phone in the laundry room.

You were still shy and nervous around them, which they found absolutely adorable, but you would remember everything soon. Even if they had to help you.

When Friday rolled around, the guys made sure to be awake by 6:30 AM to watch you leave for work with your roommate. They wait until they see your car drive off before they go next door. They climb over the railing of their porch to yours and crack open the sliding door that you never locked. Once inside, they beeline to your room.

The door was closed but not locked. Soobin opens the door slowly to your safe space and the closest they’ll get to you for now. Once they get over the shock and excitement of the posters and merch you have of them, they get to business.

Beomgyu flops down on your bed to inhale the detergent you used, clutching one of the pillows. Yeonjun opens your closet to peruse and maybe take a clothing item or two – for safe keeping, of course. Taehyun takes pictures of your calendar for your schedule for the rest of the month and anything else he deems important to know. Kai goes to your vanity to smell, and steal, your perfumes as he gets the travel spray from his pocket. And Soobin has to keep calm as he looks at your TXT shelf. He can tell that you love and care about their group.

As the others finish their side quests, they all gather around Soobin. Your adorable self has collected all their Korean albums. By the window is a white shelf under a collage of ripped out photos from their albums, the top shelf sits a binder with keychain plushies of their representative emojis, the next shelf houses their albums in release order, and the bottom shelf is their light stick and other merch. The twin shelf has albums from other groups, but they can’t be bothered to care when you have a whole shelf dedicated to them.

Kai sighs in content, “She was perfect before, but now she’s the most perfect person in the universe.”

The rest agree as Taehyun takes a picture.

“We should leave soon. The protocol team keep spamming the group chat asking for a video call.”

Staying in their soulmate’s room was cut short as Beomgyu accepted a phone call from a staff member as the guys make sure everything in your room is in the exact same place as before.

“Thank god you finally picked up! Why are you not in LA?”

“Um, we had some issues with our connecting flight.” Beomgyu tells staff as he hears the protocol team talk over each other through the speaker while he climbs over the railing to the neighboring porch.

“It’s been week! We can’t keep pushing back the In the Soop filming at the retreat house. What hotel are you in? We’ll just book the next ticket to LA from NYC.”

“There’s no need. We had a change in plans lol sorry. Manager-nim is watching over us as we film content here. Talk to you soon, bye!” Beomgyu hangs up as shouting starts and turns his phone completely off. The other members look at him as he shrugs.

“Is Manager-nim enjoying their cruise?”

Soobin shows the spam of photos their manager sent them yesterday while they were docked in a city in Europe. They made sure the free cruise they offered their manager had no wifi on the boat and paid for VIP treatment so they would be off their phone for the rest of the month as they cruised across the world.

“We should be good for another 3 weeks of peace.”

Yeonjun goes back to his shared room with Beomgyu and Taehyun to study English pick up lines, Soobin and Kai decide to watch an English movie to study their English, and Beomgyu and Taehyun head to the gym.

˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊

Honestly, things could be worse.

The universe is somehow on your side while simultaneously being against you. Your favorite musicians, that you have major crushes on, moved in next door to you for some reason that you’re still searching for. TXT are acting like this is normal for them while you’re constantly trying to stop yourself from screaming, crying, throwing up, and other emotes whenever you see them.

You try to close your eyes for a second to resituate yourself before working on another spreadsheet, but the current state of your desk makes you rethink. Random inclusions from albums decorate your workspace – postcards and mini posters stuck to the whiteboard with magnets, fan made freebies displayed, and a TXT calendar from their season’s greetings for the year. You decorated your space with your other interests, but all of your coworkers knew about your love for TXT.

Speaking of coworkers, every time you made eye contact with one, they would send you a sympathetic look after the hiatus news came out. You’re 1000% sure that everyone knows that you cried in the bathroom after their sympathy “party”, but you were going to ignore that thought.

The rest of your day went by smoothly – well, as smooth as a day can when all you think about is world famous international sensation boy group TXT are your neighbors when they’re allegedly on hiatus. You give up on trying to jump through hoops to make sense of your very niche predicament.

roomie working overtime again

roomie going to our dream vacay fund

Getting ready to show up to an empty apartment, you triple check to make sure you saved your work and clean your desk space for tomorrow. The drive home is mundane as always, but ever since TXT moved in next door, you can’t bring yourself to listen to their music. You never acted like this unless your post-concert depression was really bad.

You may not be able to bring yourself to play your favorite songs, but you can get answers from the sources themselves.

Before you’re able to knock on your neighbor’s door, the door opens to have you facing Kai.

“Hi Kai. Can I come over?”

He mumbles your name as he steps aside to the view of Soobin napping on the couch, Yeonjun reading a magazine, and Beomgyu and Taehyun playing some video game, bickering in Korean.

Apologetically, you announce yourself, “Hey guys, sorry to barge in last minute.”

Beomgyu and Taehyun whip their head in your direction and drop their controllers at the same time. Yeonjun lowers the magazine from his face to make eye contact with you only to then cartoonishly fumble it in his hands, then trying to play it cool to read the upside-down magazine. And Soobin is rudely awoken when Kai pinches his nose.

“I have many questions, some that I know you’ll probably never answer, but please,” You kneel down and clasp your hands together, “Please answer my questions.”

You didn’t realize that your plea would send the guys into shock as Kai and Beomgyu barely function to help you on the couch. You switch places with them as the calm down standing up.

“What questions do you have?” Taehyun asks.

“How did you and Yeonjun get so good at English?”

Yeonjun’s face turns cherry red and causes him to hide behind his hands as Taehyun stares at you, taken aback.

“W-well, we had English lessons. We just watched English movies to improve.”

“You two are basically fluent.”

“Thank you, really.”

You grin is reciprocated by the duo as you twiddle your fingers, dreading to ask the next question, but you selfishly needed to know.

“Is TXT really on hiatus?”

Yeonjun looks back to the rest of the members as Soobin nods, turning back to Taehyun, he nods as well.

Your heart plummets to your stomach as you continue, “It’s not forever, right?”

Soobin walks closer as he speaks up, “Just a break. We need a break.”

You refused to check social media after the announcement. Basically, a break from social media despite it being forced so you don’t spiral. Thankfully, the only people in your life that brought it up was your work but even then, that didn’t feel real. You silently thank your roommate for not saying anything to you.

“I have a question.”

“Go ahead, Kai.”

“Do you feel…” Kai leans over to whisper in Taehyun’s ear.

“Uncomfortable.”

Kai nods as he tries again, “Do you feel uncomfortable around us?”

“Am I uncomfortable around you? More like are you uncomfortable around me! I’m a fan.”

Beomgyu kneels in front of you as his hands gently hold your face, “Our beautiful MOA.”

If someone would feel your chest, they would feel your heart beating fast enough to power a car engine. Your eyes grow wide as you stare into Beomgyu’s. The rest of the guys’ heart swell as they watch the scene that reminds them of the past. You loved it when they caressed your face.

With shaky hands, you reach up to gently take his hands off you as you abruptly stand up.

“I need to go. Bye.” Running out, slamming their door and then your door as you lean against the wall.

You were certainly going to have trouble sleeping tonight.

masterlist | previous | next

[lokideservesahug]

For How Long!?! -Extras

Extra 1: Y/N Y/L/N - Timeline

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

Pairing: Logan Sargeant x fem!driver!Reader. Oscar Piastri x reader (platonic), Arthur Leclerc x reader (platonic), Mick Schumacher x reader (platonic)...

Warnings: None that I can see.

Notes: This isn't a SMAU (sorry). Also this could be added to/altered. And I hope to put out the next chapter pretty soon...

Also!!! I got way too far into writing this before finding out that a driver can only win F2 once (or rather after they win it, they can't return)....so for my own sanity, that rule doesn't exist or if it does then it came into place after Y/N won 5 championships😅

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

2012- Age 11

Y/N Signed with Red Bull Racing for them to sponsor her in her karting career. This was a part of the Red Bull Recruiting Scheme (RBRS).

2017- Age 16

Y/N becomes the first woman to race in The F3 European Championship. She goes on to come second in the drivers championship.

2018- Age 17

Y/N meets F3 rookie Oscar Piastri and the two become friends (they still are to this day). She wins the F3 championship and recieves an offer to move up the ranks and into Formula 2. She runs into Logan Sargeant, he asks her out and the two start dating yet don't tell a soul.

2019- Age 18

Y/L/N Moves Up to Formula 2 into the newly established Red Bull Racing Formula 2 Team. The RBRS terminates any connection with lower leagues of racing but establishes a Formula 2 team. Y/L/N is the first woman to ever enter F2. She also signs as Red Bull's F1 reserve driver. Y/N even stood in for (and came 3rd in) a race after Pierre Gasly became extremely ill. This makes her the first woman to ever get on the podium in an F1 race and also one of the youngest drivers to ever start a race.

Y/N meets driver Mick Schumacher and the two become good friends despite their different teams. Y/N went on to come second in the championship, narrowly missing Nyck de Vries for points. She is also awarded the Anthoine Hubert award.

2020- Age 19

Y/N once again, comes runner up in the Formula 2 championship by loosing to her good friend Mick Schumacher by a few points.

Red Bull Racing renew a contract for the next 2 years to be a team in Formula 2 and they sign Y/N's new teammate, Liam Lawson. Y/N continues to race for them and for the third year in a row, she comes second in the Formula 2 championship due to a technically issue with the car causing her to DNF (huge scandal in the F2 world). The media also sees Y/L/N "meeting" rookie Logan Sargeant and the pair become extremely close...

2021- Age 20

2022- Age 21

Liam Lawson swaps teams to race for Carlin with Logan Sargeant. Y/L/N once again comes second in the F2 championship. People are confused by her lack of wins or lack of moving to other motorsports categories (especially with her F1 podium in the past). Y/L/N is unable to win due to the amount of races and points missed by driving in F1 (as a reserve driver). She does however score many more points and podiums in F1.

2023- Age 22

In mid December, Y/N receives a call from Aston Martin F1 executives. They invite her to have a meeting about possibly racing for them that year. Y/N goes to the meeting and leaves having signed for Aston Martin Aramco F1 team for the 2024 season. This is because Lance Stroll dropped out for undisclosed "personal reasons"

Y/N meets Arthur Leclerc. The pair become very good friends - this is aided by Logan Sargeant and Oscar Piastri's Formula 1 debuts and subsequent exits from the F2 scene. Y/N wins the F2 championship finally, making history for women in motorsport. Not long after, Red Bull announces the retirement of their RBRS programme and they pull out of junior motorsports to "focus on the current success of [their] Formula 1 team"

2024- Age 22 (not yet 23)

It is publicly announced that Y/N Y/L/N is replacing Lance Stroll to race at Aston Martin for the 2024 season...

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

Thank you for reading. As always likes, reposts and especially feedback is greatly appreciated.

Please don't copy, translate or steal my works without permission.

Taglist: (I didn't know if I should do this or not because it's not a chapter but oh well)

@nikfigueiredo

@mysoulispainted

@leclercings

@hiireadstuff

@a-beaverhausen

@d3kstar

@nichmeddar

@lozzamez3

@stinkyjax

@littlesatanicassholebitch

@insanedeathwish

[therealcocoshady]

Recovery - Chapter 11

Eminem x FemReader (Y/N) fanfiction

Summary : Em wonders what he should do for the diss track mentioning Y/N when an unexpected threat comes along, involving old pictures.

Tags : Angst, Comfort, Fluff

CW : Mention of nude pictures ; Panic attack ; Anxiety ; Mention of nudity

You looked at him, confused. The two of you were standing extremely close to one another and his hand was still on your shoulder. His eyes were focusing on your lips, as you were nervously chewing on the bottom one. You could tell he wanted you. Not a doubt in your mind. And clearly, you wanted him just as much. 

Marshall…, you whispered. 

Y/N… 

You gently grazed his forearm with your hand, prompting him to get even closer. You were chest to chest. He looked you in the eyes, though he seemed lost in some sort of haze. The two of you said nothing, he simply let his hand fall to your hip and you placed a hand on his chest, gently clutching at his tee-shirt. Your faces were inches away, and all you had to do was to get on the tip of your toes. But you didn’t. The silence was comfortable. Nothing was happening and yet, this was intimate. You could feel his heart beating in his chest, his breath on you. His fingers started digging in your hip, through the soft fabric of the tee-shirt. You ached to feel him on your skin. Your chest was softly heaving, lessening the distance a little bit with every breath. You looked at his face, but couldn’t decipher what he was feeling. He brought his hand to your face and gently stroked your cheek, his thumb grazing your bottom lip. 

Stop biting your lip like this, he ordered softly. 

Why ? You hummed. 

Because it makes me want to do the same, he whispered. I could be the one biting it. 

You felt a knot form in your stomach. This man was something else. Barely touching you, just with his voice, he managed to drive you crazy. You couldn’t manage to hold a whimper as soon as the words left his mouth. Right when you thought it wasn’t possible, his eyes got a shade darker before he closed them. He cupped your face and his lips almost grazed yours. You started to lean in for a kiss before a knock on the door pulled you out of your transe. 

Hum… Marshall ? You heard Paul say. Are you guys coming or what ? 

Shit, Marshall muttered. 

He suddenly took a step back, staring at you in shock, as if he just came to his senses. 

Coming, Paul, he said louder, not taking his eyes away from you. 

Suddenly, just with a step back, he seemed so far away. It was as if your heart had dropped in your chest. You looked at each other in a silence that was no longer comfortable. You grabbed your soaked tee-shirt and walked through the door. 

Thanks for the tee-shirt, you whispered. 

You went back to the couch in the studio, trying to keep your composure. Jamal was staring at you. Even though you tried to keep a straight face, you could tell he knew that something was wrong. He knew you too well anyway. Still, you tried to smile. Marshall came in a few minutes later and you tried your best not to look at him. Instead, you grabbed the laptop in your bag and started working. 

You don’t eat the rest of your food ? Jamal asked. 

You can have it if you want, you said with your eyes still on the screen. 

You barely ate, girl. 

I have to work, you said. That dissertation isn’t going to write itself, you know ? 

Yeah, we should work too, Marshall pointed out. 

Have you decided what you want to do about that diss track ? Jamal asked.

No, Marshall said in an annoyed voice. What do you think ? 

I mean, the guy’s an asshole, that’s for sure, your friend replied. He got a lot too personal for my taste, coming for your family and friends. Especially Proof. And I don’t like that he called Y/N a bitch, of course. 

Y/N, what do you think ? Porter asked you. 

I don’t have an opinion, you said. 

You could feel the guys staring at you, but you kept on writing a paragraph. 

What do you mean you don’t have an opinion ? Jamal asked. Y/N, the man insulted you. 

Yeah, Royce said. He said… What was it again ? That you’re a tiny bitch in a shiny dress and… Something about your tits ? 

Yup. “Big ass tits”, Paul recalled. And how he wants to, uh… You know. Fuck you in Marshall’s place. 

Aren’t you mad ? Porter asked. 

Couldn’t care less, you said honestly. 

Really ? You’re going to let someone talk about fucking you on a diss record ?! Jamal asked, suddenly getting heated. 

You rolled your eyes and stared at him. 

He doesn’t talk about fucking me, he talk about fucking Em’s girl or whoever that is. 

That’s the same thing, he pointed out. You can’t be serious. 

It is not the same thing, you said as you put the emphasis on the negation. Whatever… I’m starting to think that the rap game’s really cute. 

Cute ?! Royce interjected. 

They were all staring at you in shock. 

Yeah, you said with a soft laugh. This guy just wants to be noticed by you. I mean, when you think about it, people throwing disses at each other is just a way to get attention. Like when you’re teasing someone in high school, and it’s actually because you really like them ? So yeah,… Cute. And that JJL person that gave you friendship jewelry ? Cute too. 

This caused the whole group to chortle. Marshall stared at you with a grin. 

LL Cool J, he corrected with a smile. And it’s not friendship jewelry. 

You guys act all tough, but you’re just a bunch of softies, you teased. You just have your twisted ways of writing love letters to each other, I guess. If he didn’t think that you’re great, he wouldn’t come for you. So really, it’s a diss, but I feel like it’s some sort of compliment too, at that point. 

That part is kind of true, in that case, Royce said.

Don’t you dare say we’re softies, though. I mean, we are, but it’s a secret, you know ? Porter said with a wink. 

You chortled. 

Plus, there’s the obvious thing, you added. He can write a diss on Marshall because he’s got some info or so he thinks. But we don’t know anything about him, do we ? 

She’s got a point, Paul said. 

Can you look him up ? Marshall asked. 

You didn’t respond, just handed him the computer. 

Just do it, Royce said. By the time Em understands how the computer works, we’ll all be in a retirement home. 

You chuckled and searched for the guy’s name on Google. Of course, there were already a bunch of headlines about his diss track. The guy had a massive following on social media and was apparently known to put out disses to every rapper out there, though most people didn’t bother responding. You didn’t tell the guys, but you thought he was good-looking. He was about your age and definitely your type. He could have been one of your celebrity crushes, if he hadn’t been an asshole and had actual talent. You shared what you found with them. 

What do you want to do ? You asked Marshall. 

I don’t know, he said. I’d gladly destroy him, just for sport. But I also don’t want to make him bigger. 

Technically speaking, he’s not even good, Royce pointed out. 

And lyrically, Porter began… 

…even I could come up with a better diss, you continued. 

They all chortled. 

Really ? Marshall asked with a smirk. Let’s hear it. What would you say if you had to diss me ? 

Well, I…, you hesitated, realizing you probably got ahead of yourself. 

You can’t come up with anything, now, can you ? He asked cockily. 

I uh… could say it’s ironic that you call yourself a Rap God when you have such a dad bod ? you chuckled. 

The others burst out in laughter as Marshall looked at you amused. “Bitch”, he muttered gently. This prompted the group to try and find actual good, original disses to throw at Marshall, who responded by dissing them back. It was fun and entertaining for you to see them go back and forth and come up with the craziest bars. You probably weren’t very objective, but you were blown away by Marshall’s talent. You spent the afternoon working and laughing at boys, who did not get actual work done, too busy making fun of each other. At the end of the day, Marshall decided not to respond to the diss. As out of line as it was, he thought it didn’t deserve his attention, and everyone ended up agreeing, though Royce seemed a bit disappointed. 

When you finally got home, you were greeted by the smell of your favorite dish : Talia’s signature Masala Chicken. 

Hey, you said shyly as you entered the kitchen to say hi. 

Hi you, she said as she turned to you. 

You were shocked by the sight of her. She had scratches on her arms and face, as well as a black eye. Her lip was pretty swollen too. 

Oh my god, Talia, what happened to you ?! You asked in a panicked voice. Jamal, come here !!! 

I’m fine, she said. Don’t worry about it baby. 

What happened ? You asked again. Who did that to you ? 

Don’t freak out, she sighed. I… paid a little visit to Cassie at her hotel last night. 

You what ?! 

Jamal came into the kitchen and sighed. 

I told you she’d freak out when you’d tell her, babe, he said. 

You knew ?! You asked him in disbelief. And you didn’t tell me ? 

Well, she told me last night, when she came back, he sighed. And she made me promise not to tell you before therapy. 

She won’t bother you anymore, baby. I made sure of it, she said 

Your eyes opened wide. 

What… Is she the one who did that to you ?! Cassie ?! You asked. 

You should see her, she grinned. I just planned on confronting her, but one thing led to another and… Well. You see. 

You didn’t have to do that for me, you whined. I don’t want to see you get hurt. 

I did that for the both of us, really. Cassie and I… We had some preexisting beef. I should have handled that a long time ago, she explained. 

What beef ? 

Before uni, we went to the same highschool. Back then, she was already the meanest girl in the class. She hated me. Then, we went to uni and she spread a bunch of rumors about me… Before getting my boyfriend to sleep with her. So, really, she had it coming, she said. 

Why didn’t you tell me ? 

Because you were already friends with her when I met you ! And as much as I hate her, I didn’t want you to get into it. As far as I knew, she was a good friend to you, so that’s what matters, right ? She explained. 

Tears were starting to well in your eyes. Talia really was the best person you knew. She smiled at you and brought you into a hug. 

I love you, baby, she said. I’m sorry I was so hard on you. I just… I couldn’t bear to lose you, you know ? You mean so much to me. 

I love you too, you whined before giving her another hug. 

Anyway, I made your favorite food, because you deserve some props for being 24 hours sober, she said with a smile. I am so proud of you. 

And just like that, your bestie was back. The three of you had a lovely evening, until you got a call from none other than… Simon. He told you he broke up with Sarah and wanted to see you. Some part of you wanted to say yes, as you were feeling a bit guilty for the things you said the last time you had seen it, but you didn’t feel ready yet. Before hanging up, he asked if the rumors of you going out with Eminem were true. You didn’t respond and wished him goodnight. 

The two following days were uneventful. It was business as usual. You were working on your dissertation at the studio, keeping the guys company. They all had a solid work ethic so the atmosphere was somewhat studious. It was just what you needed. You didn’t really talk to Marshall, seeing as the two of you were busy. You joked around a bit but didn’t have your usual one on one conversation, whether it was via text or in real life. To be fair, you didn’t quite know how to feel about that. Part of you wanted to hang out with him as you usually did, but after what happened in the office - or rather might have happened if Paul hadn’t knocked on the door - you weren’t too sure of how to act. So the contact the two of you had was greeting each other, small talk and eating with the others. 

On Thursday morning, however, he texted you to ask you to come to his office as soon as you arrived at the studio. Your heart was pounding as you knocked on the door. 

Come in, you heard him say. 

Hey, you said shyly. 

Hey, Y/N, he replied before giving you a side hug. How are you today ? 

I’m good. You wanted to see me ? You asked, as your heart started racing. 

Yeah. Paul will join us in a minute. 

The atmosphere seemed a little tense. Part of you thought he asked you to come in to clear the air about the other day. Why was Paul getting involved in that ? That didn’t make sense. You both sat on the couch and waited for the manager. When he came in, there was concern all over his face. 

Is there something wrong ? You asked. Am I… in trouble ? 

We just need to clear the air about a few things, Paul said. We got an email last night. About you. 

About me ? You asked. Is that about the pictures ? 

Oh, it is about pictures, Marshall said in an annoyed voice. 

Both men seemed rather uneasy. 

What about the pictures ? I thought you said we wouldn’t address the topic, Marshall, you said sheepishly. The press and people on social media will get tired eventually, right ? 

Haven’t you been on social media in the last few days ? Paul suddenly asked. 

Not since we checked the rapper who made that diss, you explained. Otherwise, no. I’ve been working on my dissertation. Why ? 

Y/N, Marshall said as he gently took your hand. The guy leaked your name and Instagram account. 

That’s not right, you said. I don’t know him. I’ve never met him. How the hell could he know my name or my Instagram ? That makes no sense. It’s probably a fake one. 

It’s not, Paul said. We checked thoroughly. 

He handed you his phone and showed you screenshots of posts on Instagram and Twitter where the guy mentioned you by name and shared your account : “Check @yourinstagramname on IG. No pics of Em. Even she is ashamed of him.”

Oh my god, you said before checking your account. 

You had thousands of new followers, plenty of unread messages and a bunch of comments under your pictures. Some of them were asking about your relationship with “Em”,  others commenting on your physical appearance, whether it was to call you “hot” or deem you “too ugly for him”. Jury was still out, apparently. You sheepishly turned off your phone. 

I don’t understand, you said. 

That’s not all, Y/N, Marshall said in an angry voice. Paul, show her the rest. 

He proceeded to show you another tweet, in which the guy was threatening to leak some of your nudes if Marshall didn’t respond to his diss by next monday. Both of them were looking at you with annoyed looks. 

You guys know I don’t know him, right ? You asked. I never heard of him, how could I send him nudes ? 

I’m not saying you sent him pictures, Paul said. But he has some pictures of you. He sent them via email last night, probably to prove he could make good on his threat if Marshall doesn’t respond. 

That’s probably some Photoshop, you said. 

That’s what I thought at first, Paul replied. But… 

He showed you the email, which contained dozens of pictures of you. There you were, in several lingerie outfits, posing for the camera. Some pictures looked rather innocent, while some of them were more suggestive. On the last one, you were only wearing lace panties, your breasts clearly visible. These were actual pictures of you, taken years ago. You were absolutely mortified. 

That’s you, Marshall said. 

It wasn’t a question. Merely an observation. He had seen enough of your body to know that it was actually you in the pictures. There was even your tiny heart tattoo on your hip to prove it. 

Oh my god, you said as you felt your anxiety levels rise. I can’t believe it. It’s not possible. Please tell me it’s a joke. I-It can’t be. 

I wish I could, Paul said. But it’s not. 

Why… Why would he do that ?! I am nobody, you said as your breath was heaving. I’m not even your girlfriend, Marshall !!! 

Tears were starting to stream down your cheeks. Marshall brought you into a hug. 

I know, Y/N, he said. I am sorry. It doesn’t make sense. 

Oh my god, this is so embarrassing, you whined. Paul, you’re a lawyer, right ? There has to be something you can do ! 

It’s… complicated, Paul said. If you’d been a minor when the pictures were taken, he could face up to 20 years for sharing them. But it’s not the case. We can take action and contact the authorities, but these procedures take time. Especially since that guy is based in NYC. 

You kept on crying on Marshall’s shoulder. He gently held you and stroked your hair. You felt trapped. You were in a room with two grown men confronting you about some old nude pictures that a total stranger was threatening to leak for the world to see. It was so wrong, on so many levels. You felt embarrassed and angry, but panic was getting the best of you. Everything was starting to get blurry and, as seconds went by, their voices were reduced to echoes. 

You need to breathe, Marshall said softly. Remember the breathing exercises ? 

I can’t, you whispered. It’s a nightmare. I’m going to die. Oh my god… 

He gently shushed you and kneeled by your side. He placed your hand on his chest and reminded you of the breathing exercises you had done. But this time, it wasn’t working. If anything, you were hyperventilating. 

You’re safe, he whispered in your ears. It’s just a panic attack. You’re going to get through it. 

I can’t, you cried. 

Of course you can, he said gently. How about we try something else ? Try and name three things you can see ? 

T-The desk… And the award shelf and… Paul…, you said as you slowly came to your senses. 

Yes, he encouraged you. You’re doing so good. Now, try and…

…Oh my God, Paul saw me naked, you whispered. 

This thought was enough to send you back into panic mode. You were shaking more than ever. Marshall was trying to talk to you, but you couldn’t even make sense of what he was saying. You could only feel him gently stroking your shoulder. You were desperately trying to think of something else, but your mind came on coming back to the pictures. 

Should we call 911 ? Paul asked after a while. She doesn’t seem to calm down. 

No, you begged. No hospital. No drugs, please… 

Don’t worry, Marshall said. I got you. 

You were sweating bullets and it felt like you were in the desert. Tears kept on flowing and your eyes were burning. 

Paul, get me an ice pack, a wet cloth and some water, Marshall ordered. 

Paul left the room and came back a minute seconds later with everything Marshall had asked. They helped you lay on the couch and Marshall made you hold the ice pack in your hands while he applied the wet cloth to your forehead. The sensations were soothing, but you were still too hot. 

Paul, leave us alone, please, Marshall demanded. 

Are you sure ? The manager asked. 

Yes. Go wait outside. Tell the others I won’t be back for a little while, ok ?  

Paul nodded and left the room. Marshall kept on stroking your hand with his. 

I figured you’d feel more comfortable if it was just us, he said gently. 

Thank you, you said almost inaudibly. 

Anytime, he replied. What do you need ? Tell me. 

I can’t breathe in these clothes, you whined. They’re too tight. Too hot.

Ok, he whispered. I’ll help you undress. Is that ok ? 

You nodded and he gently helped you take the clothes off, leaving you in your underwear. Unlike the other day, there was nothing equivocal to the situation. Sex was the last thing on your mind anyway, and you were thankful Marshall didn’t read into it either. His moves were gentle and he made sure that you were comfortable. 

Better ? He asked. 

You nodded and laid back on the couch, holding the ice pack against your bare stomach. You made a mental note to remember how soothing you thought it was. 

I’m sorry, you whispered. I don’t mean to flash you. 

I know, he said with a chuckle. Don’t worry about it. 

He was sitting on the floor next to you, holding your hand and stroking your hair. You managed to breathe a little easier. 

I’m so sorry, he said in a sad voice. It’s my fault. If you weren’t linked to me, you wouldn’t have to endure that. I managed to avoid that kind of unwanted attention for my partners for the last fifteen years, but now, it has to be on you, of all people… I’m so sorry, Y/N, you have no idea. 

And I guess that now is too late to put out a statement, you said. 

I’m afraid so, yeah… I asked Paul this morning, but he said no one would believe it. And even if they did, there’s no telling if the guy would leak the pictures or not. 

I just don’t understand, you said. How can it get so personal ? 

That’s a first, even for me, he mumbled. I thought it was as bad as it could get when someone mentioned Proof, Hailie or my ex. Guess I was wrong. 

He sighed and held your hand. 

I can’t have these pictures leaked, you said as you felt a new tear roll on your cheek. With the media attention you get, everyone would see these. It could destroy my career. No one in research will take me seriously if they see my tits… 

I know, Y/N, he said softly. 

The others… Do they know about the pictures ? Have they seen it ? You asked with worry. 

They’ve seen the tweets, he said. But we haven’t shown them the pics. We’d never do that. Don’t even worry about it. 

It’s bad enough that you and Paul saw them, you sighed. 

We’re not judging, you know ? He assured you. We don’t think less of you because of these. 

I want to die, you whined. 

Don’t even say something like that, he scolded you. 

You gazed into his eyes. You were thankful for his ability to make you feel safe when you needed him. He smiled and kissed your forehead. 

You don’t seem too hot anymore, he pointed out. 

Yeah, I’m better… Thanks for helping me manage, you said softly. How come you’re so good at handling these attacks ? 

I had them a while ago, he explained. Especially when I got off the drugs. Plus, my eldest was diagnosed with anxiety when she was a teen. So I have some experience dealing with that. 

I’m lucky to have you, you said. Thank you. 

Mmmmh, I don’t know about that, he said pensively. If you didn’t have me, no asshole would threaten to post your picture… 

It’s not your fault, you know ? 

Yeah. But you shouldn’t be the one who has to deal with that. I’m fair game. Everyone else in my life is not, he said. You have no idea how… How many times I wanted to give it all back. I’m fine with people coming for me. I’m coming for them too, so I don’t mind. I can make peace with the attention I get and people constantly asking for pictures and autographs. But if I’d known the people I love would end up being casualties… 

Don’t get in your head, you said as you ran your fingers through his hair. 

He hummed and closed his eyes. 

How about you get dressed and we get Paul to come back here ? He offered. 

You nodded and put your clothes back on. 

Are you feeling better ? Paul asked when he came back in the room. 

Yeah, you said. Sorry you had to see this. 

It’s fine, he said. I’d probably freak out too if it were me. 

Fortunately, no one wants to see naked pics of you, dude, Marshall joked. If anything, people would pay us not to leak your nudes. 

This prompted you to giggle and relax for a second. 

So… Is there something we can do ? You asked. Should I message the guy directly ? 

I wouldn’t recommend that, Paul advised. This could give him the feeling that he has the upper hand, both on Marshall and on you.

I don’t care what it looks like for me, Marshall groaned. I just want for Y/N to be left alone. 

I know. But seeing as you’re linked in the eyes of the public, we can’t take chances, Paul explained. Although, this raises a few questions. Some of it feels personal. Y/N, I hate to ask, but are you sure you’ve never met him ? 

Never met him, you replied. I’ve never even set foot in New York. 

Never messaged him online either ? No DM, no dating app ? 

Man, leave her alone, Marshall groaned. She says no. What else do you want? 

Sorry, Paul said. But we have to know how he got his hands on these pictures. 

I don’t know, man, Marshall sighed. Isn’t that one of those cloud leak things ? 

I never put that on the cloud, you said. They weren’t even taken with my current phone. They’re from at least three years ago. 

Do you remember when you took them ? Paul asked. Were you dating anyone ? Do you have a list of people you sent the pictures to ? 

Oh God, you whispered. 

You distinctly remembered who had seen these pictures. Suddenly, it all clicked. You knew who was responsible.