#clarify* but I Am so its such a hot fantasy of someone having read this blog or something

[6irlpet]

i get so helplessly turned on by the idea of someone wanting to do stuff to me? idk if that makes sense. probably kinda pathetic in a “its nice to be wanted” sort of way

like idk if someone told me they wanted to torture me i’d get wet and let them hit me immediately. if someone told me they wanted to keep me in a cage i’d be dreaming about them collaring me & agree i should be kept like that in seconds. if someone said they wanted to make me cry i’d probably moan. if someone said i was a set of holes made for fucking and getting them off i’d be on my knees before the sentence was finished

[belfrygargoyles]

*whispers* I would like to hear what you have to say on reader inserts in the SW fandom because I too have a problem with them and I feel like not enough people are calling it out 👉👈

I’ve made a few posts about it in the past but I think it’s high time I actually Do This and really get into it.

Before I start: 1) This will be in specific reference to fanfiction written for the Star Wars fandom, particularly tcw and the mandalorian eras, 2) A lot of the issues come down to racist fetishization of men of color by white women; I am white, so there is much that is simply not my place to make statements on. What I can speak most on is my take from the gender side of things.

I’d honestly recommend reading this post by @nibeul with addition by @clonehub first, as they discuss the core issue with reader inserts in the Star Wars fandom.

And 3) some of this will involve discussion of sexual acts (as they relate to fanfiction) and sexual fantasies. These discussions will be non-explicit, and no pornographic text or content will be displayed.

Also. I’m GNC and nonbinary. I’m also a very feminine looking person that falls under the generalization of “small and petite.” I don’t have dysphoria, I like my body and the traits I have, and treating them like inherently female sends me into a blind fury. This is, unfortunately, important.

For the sake of making sure I come across as clearly as possible, I will be writing as though the reader of this post has never read or is broadly unfamiliar with reader-insert fanfiction.

Without further ado.

Hey, Star Wars reader insert fic writers? Please get your shit together.

INTRODUCTION

I’ve been reading reader-insert fanfiction since I was a grade schooler waking up early to check Quizilla. I love it! It got me into fandom, kept me engaged, helped me make and develop some of my oldest OCs, and it’s just fun to read and write- it’s like a self-indulgent little gift you can give to a bunch of people all at once. Because who doesn’t like the idea of starring in their own little adventure, usually alongside some of their favorite characters? It can be fun, immersive, get you attached in ways other ways of fandom interaction may not, make you feel just a little bit special, or be a way to express some feelings you might have about canon and the way the story went.

Like any form of fiction, it ends up saying more about the author’s feelings than anything else, whether the author realizes it or not. For many, many authors of reader-insert fanfiction, the primary enjoyment comes from writing “themselves” into the story- before the readers, the author most often makes the “reader character” someone they, themselves, can relate to and substitute for themselves. They write to live out a self-indulgent fantasy they have, and their readers can come along for the ride.

Some writers do actually try to write as diverse or as vague of a reader character as possible- as few details about the body, identity, etc. as possible so anyone could superimpose their image without the narrative directly contradicting it. This is not the kind of reader insert author I will be discussing.

The kind of author I will be discussing is the one most common in the Star Wars tag on Ao3: White, AFAB, cisgender, gender-conforming, able-bodied women who assume all of their readers are also White, AFAB, cisgender, gender-conforming, able-bodied women. Yes, you can tell.

ISSUE: fetishization of men of color

Again, this post puts it in the best words, but there is a rampant problem with Star Wars reader-inserts, particularly those involving the clones, Boba Fett, and Din Djarin, fetishizing characters played by men of color as either “physically aggressive and threatening, hypersexual and dominant, big strong men who are scary because they do violence and fuck constantly when they’re not” or “completely inexperienced baby who doesn’t know anything about things and needs a gentle nurturing guiding touch to introduce him to the mere idea of a vagina.” The former is common across all of them, the latter most common among clone trooper fics or Din/Reader.

I went into the Boba Fett/Reader tag on Ao3, because I like him and hoped to find something alright. Here are some stats I tallied up (give or take some) based solely on tags, summaries, and warnings:

There are 284 works in the Boba Fett/Reader category as of the time of this post.

198/284 are rated E for explicit sexual content. 69.7% of all Boba Fett/Reader works are sexually explicit.

259/284 are in the F/M category. 91.2% of all Boba Fett/Reader works involve an explicitly female or AFAB reader.

24/284 are tagged with or mention “Age difference,” “Older man/Younger woman,” “Innocence kink” or “Virginity kink.” 8.4% of all Boba Fett/Reader works are written explicitly with an age gap, with Boba Fett as the older party

26/198 E rated fics are tagged with or make reference to “Daddy kink” or involve the reader being called some variation of “little girl” by Boba. 13% of all E-rated works under Boba Fett/Reader are daddy kink fics, or allude to Boba Fett being a daddy dom/sugar daddy.

102/198 E rated fics are tagged as, make reference to, or suggest in the summary that Boba Fett takes a dominant sexual role with a submissive reader involving rough or painful play, or make reference to Boba Fett being frightening, physically intimidating, having a power dynamic over the reader, or being possessive or violent. 51.51% of all E-rated works under Boba Fett/Reader portray Boba Fett as sexually dominant and/or enacting use of physical force or pain play.

Just using this as an example, because it’s the easiest stats I can gather and also what made me realize there was a pattern.

The problem isn’t even necessarily that people write explicit fic about Boba- it’s that 1) over half of all fics in the category are explicitly pornographic, and 2) the way those pornographic fics are written. The two things compound on each other. They’re dominance fantasies projected onto a character of color in which he becomes extremely sexual, physically rough with the reader, possessive, and demeaning towards a reader character who is always written as White, AFAB, and petite.

This brings me to the next issue.

ISSUE: The way sexual relationships are portrayed.

Let me clarify so there is no chance of me being misunderstood: sex is good. Liking and wanting and enjoying sex isn’t bad. It is not bad if you are AFAB and have submissive fantasies. It is not bad to be sexually attracted to a man of color. You can write about sex even if you haven’t had it. Writing about sex can be a good way to express some more complicated feelings you could have about certain things. It doesn’t even have to be realistic. It has its time and it has its place.

This being said.

Sexual relationships as they are portrayed in the vast majority of E-rated Star Wars reader inserts are… not great.

The reader is always AFAB. I can think of maybe one fic off the top of my head where an AFAB reader was written with they/them pronouns and not just she/her.

The reader is almost always submissive, the dominant character is almost always portrayed as cis male. Even when the characters are supposed to just be having spontaneous casual sex, D/S or BDSM aspects will be introduced with no prior discussion or talks about it afterwards. Sometimes characters will start using dirty talk and it just does not fit at all, but it’s what the author thought was hot.

Sometimes, it just reads like a quick smutty oneshot. More often than that, it reads like the author doesn’t realize that sex… isn’t always a dom/sub thing. Or that someone can take the lead in sex and that doesn’t automatically make them a dom.

It’s not bad to be inexperienced. It’s not bad to have preferences or kinks or specific turn-ons.

But it gets… tiring to read, over and over and over and over, because that’s all there is.

That and… I dunno, it just has me a little worried? It doesn’t make me feel good knowing so many people can only portray a sexual relationship if it’s dom/sub. I don’t know why it makes me so uneasy.

Vanilla sex isn’t a bad thing I promise. It's this feeling of insistence that something "spicy" absolutely has to happen for it to be worth writing that gives... some weird vibes.

I’m going to move on to the next Big-

ISSUE: Every “reader” character is exactly the same

By which I mean the following:

Always cis AFAB female

If a character is written with gender neutral pronouns they will always be AFAB and written like Girl Lite

I have never seen an explicitly stated nonbinary/gnc reader character unless it was a request specifically for a nonbinary reader

I have never seen a gender neutral reader insert fic where the reader was AMAB

I have seen a grand total of 1 cis male reader fic and 1 trans male reader fic. The trans male reader fic was about dysphoria.

The reader is allowed to have one of the following backstories: slave/runaway, mechanic, medic, ex-Rebel, secret Jedi, bounty hunter.

The reader is allowed to have one of the following personality traits: throws knives, babysitter, completely civilian, WOMAN, says curse words.

The reader is never written with any narrative agency- things only ever happen to the reader character or around the reader character, they are never written to take charge and actually affect things on their own. Essentially the sexy lamp trope.

Remember when I said the majority of people writing Star Wars reader-insert fanfic on Ao3 were White, cisgender AFAB women who are gender-conforming and able-bodied? This is how you can tell.

It’s at this point where you can tell they’re really not meant to be reader-inserts, but author-inserts with the names removed- they were only meant for a very narrow selection of readers.

I’m nonbinary, I’m gnc, and I’m a very feminine looking person, generally speaking. I’m used to people looking at me and assuming oh, girl. I’m at peace with that.

I can barely stand reading some of these fics just because of how much the author emphasizes that the reader is FEMALE shes a WOMAN with BOOBS and a VAGINA and FEMININE WILES. There’s barely ever even a chance to give myself room to mentally vault over all the “she”s and “her”s because then I’m getting hit with Din or someone calling the reader “girl” or “the woman.” It’s unbearable, and I even fall into the general description every fucking fic author uses for their generic protagonist!

Even with the “gender-neutral reader” fics, it is just. Painfully clear that they just wrote a female character and changed the pronouns- no, there is no such thing as “male behavior” or “female behavior,” and I quite heartily rebel against the concept of gender essentialism. And honestly, I can barely even begin piecing together how I know it and what it feels like, because it’s just one of those vague conglomerates of cues and writing patterns I can’t consciously pick up on but I know it’s there- it’s frustrating, it’s demeaning, and it feels like you’d have to threaten these authors at gunpoint to get them to write a reader character who was any major deviation from the same three cutouts they use every time.

It seems like they can’t possibly force themselves to write a reader character who isn’t meek and submissive or has the sole personality traits of “mean and can hit things”- you can actually strike a balance between “absolutely no personality” and “fleshed out oc” you know? And you don’t actually have to tell the reader what their hair looks like or how full their figure is

It’s like 2:20 AM and I started this at like 8something PM but.

I’m someone who loves reader-inserts. I enjoy them. I still check for new ones regularly. I’ve been reading them for well over half my life now.

So many of these authors are just locked in on exactly one way to write things and it fucking shows. It’s like a self-feeding loop, they just keep writing the same things and the same dynamics because they see each other doing it and they never think about taking a step back.

It’s… exhausting. I’m exhausted. If you’re a reader-insert fic writer and you want to improve your reader character inclusivity and have also read this far, you can DM me or shoot me an ask.

[diyeoracha]

IwaOi Fanfiction Masterlist with 90+ Works

Hello! In celebration accumulating over 290 bookmarks on my AO3 account featuring IwaOi, Haikyuu S4 part 2, and @haikyuuweek2020​ (Day 7 - Free Choice), I decided to create a masterlist of all of my favorite Iwaoi fics in order to keep myself organized as well as contributing to more traffic for those works! Works are split up into genres such as alternate universe (either not childhood friends or set on Earth), angst, canon compliant (post timeskip with spoilers), canon divergent (childhood friends but divergent timeline post timeskip), high school, and university au

Formatting update: Jan 13, 2021 (spacing is wonky on the mobile app!).

Fic update: Jan 7, 2021

This is incomplete as I got distracted while re-reading a lot of these and have only gone through half of my bookmarks, but feel free to check my own page here for the rest of them! I really do hope you guys enjoy reading these and leave comments and kudos! Please reblog and like so more people can enjoy

Titles marked with (♡) are my absolute favorites and there’s a chance I cried while reading them but otherwise they’re in alphabetical order

Alternate Universe

an allegory of all the things we could’ve been

Word count: 16k

Summary: “I don’t know anything about some red string,” Iwaizumi murmurs into the cracks of Oikawa’s skin, “or even about lifetimes or fate. But no matter where you are, I’ll find you. Gods or otherwise.” Reincarnation AU

And All the Prince’s Men

Word count: 65k

Summary: “Father only loves that which he owns, and I am the one thing that can never truly be his.” Royalty AU

Built a Temple in Me

Word count: 55k

Summary: Up the mossy mountain steps, past the komainu guardians and the faded red gate, and beyond the boundaries of the green shrine—that’s where the forest and the spirit world within it lies. That’s were Hajime met him, and where their story began.But intertwining of destinies can be ugly business, Hajime finds, when their first meeting begins with blood and the too-human eyes of a beast. God Oikawa AU

Quote: It fills his heart anyway, heals the hole in his chest that had been bleeding since he cut Tooru so forcibly from him.

Cotton Breathing

Word count: 13k

Summary: Long-distance and summer only but childhood friends AU

Conquering the Great King

Word count: 105k

Summary: Oikawa's lips twitched into a smirk and he brought them hovering just over Iwaizumi's, "One time thing, Two time thing, what's it matter as long as it's not a Relationship thing?"

Quote: Oikawa's eyes twitched wide for less than a second, his knee pressed in hard against Iwaizumi's thigh, "I may be gorgeous, but I'm not a doll."

dear diary, i met a boy

Word count: 15k

Summary: Iwaizumi's first impression of his upstairs neighbor involves getting woken up at two in the morning to the sound of Oikawa singing along to trashy pop music. He'd thought it would get better, but it all just goes downhill from there. Modern AU

Desperado

Word count: 82k

Summary: Clearly Iwaizumi had a checkered past. Kyoutani has never asked about it, nor has Iwaizumi ever brought it up. He knows it’s a sore spot for his mentor, just like the gorgeous Monte Carlo he keeps hidden away is, so he leaves it alone. Out on the streets, you learn a little something about when to turn a blind eye in order to survive; Kyoutani knows better than most to leave the past of men like Iwaizumi well alone. Heist AU

Even Heroes (have the right to dream)

Word count: 20k

Summary: Oikawa Tooru, ace reporter of the superhero beat of Asahi Shimbun, hates superheroes. Or maybe he just hasn’t met the knight one yet. Superhero AU

♡Infinite Risks

Word count: 8k

Summary: “It’s my fate,” Oikawa responds slowly. He’s crying. “It’s too lonely,” Iwaizumi’s heart sounded broken. “And I’m not there with you. Not really.” Edge of Tomorrow AU

In Defense of Reptiles

Word count: 9k

Summary: In their seventh year, Oikawa is chosen to be the Hogwarts champion in the Triwizard Tournament, and Iwaizumi suffers. Harry Potter AU

Quote: “You are so spoiled,” Iwaizumi tells him, but lets him shuffle down until Iwaizumi’s hand is now running through Oikawa’s hair instead of rubbing his shoulder.

In the Telling

Word count: 6k

Summary: Muggleborn Iwaizumi could not be less impressed with pureblood Oikawa Tooru. Harry Potter AU

♡Lockdown

Word count: 72k

Summary: Within the first few months of his stay, Oikawa gets caught up in a war between cellblocks, becomes a prime target, and must decide just how far he's willing to go to protect Iwaizumi Hajime. Prison AU

♡long nights, no peace

Word count: 18k

Summary: It's the steady knowledge that Iwaizumi Hajime will always be someone that he can rely on, that no matter what the world throws at the two of them, they share in a piece of each other's soul. Pacific Rim AU

Quote: Quiet settles between them softly, like the warm pressure of the blanket, or Iwaizumi's fingers curling to lightly hold the fabric of Oikawa's shirt.

The Long Light

Word count: 36k

Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime's seventh year at Hogwarts begins, and begins, and begins, and begins. Somehow, Oikawa Tooru is always there. Harry Potter AU

Magic Man

Word count: 12k

Summary: Oikawa is named the most desirable wizard in France. Iwaizumi is not impressed. Harry Potter AU

Quote: You keep saying partner or them. Is it rude of me to ask you to clarify?

Meet me in the grey area

Word count: 24k

Summary: Set in a hero/villain AU with Iwa as our trusty hero and Oikawa as our charming villain

Saw You at the Fish Market

Word count: 14k

Summary: In other words, Oikawa befriends hot part-time worker Iwaizumi and tries to impress him both off and on the court, in hopes of more.

♡♡ (sing with me) A Song of Conquest and Fate

Word count: 26k

Summary: When Seijou receives a missive from Aobajousai to discuss a potential peace, its emperor Oikawa Tooru could not have foreseen the series of events that would follow. Historical fantasy AU

Similar Creatures

Word count: 53k

Summary: "What's your name?" "Whatever you want it to be."(Or, Oikawa gets directions from an attractive stranger on a street corner.). Escort AU

♡Something Like Us

Word count: 28k

Summary: Friends since childhood, Oikawa and Iwaizumi now live together, both playing for the National Team. It's no secret that athletes who are bonded perform better. So if the two of them happen to bond...It'd be for the good of the team, right? A/B/O AU

Space

Word count: 44k

Summary: Tries not to think of his rooftop garden, or the apartment he used to inhabit, or Hajime’s broken expression on the night they whispered their goodbyes before Tooru’s launch, attempting to push it all to the back of his mind behind visions of this alien world terraformed. Astronaut AU

Stop the Time

Word count: 10k

Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime, 27, E.R. nurse at University of Tokyo Hospital. Hospital AU

♡♡The Loyalty of A Traitor

Word count: 76k

Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime was an undercover officer with a single objective: Infiltrate the Seijoh Syndicate of the Yakuza and tear them down from the inside out. His primary target was the boss, Oikawa Tooru. The job itself was simple enough, until Iwaizumi got in too deep and absconded not only from the mission, but from the city itself. Yakuza AU

These Flowers I Stole For You

Word count: 3k

Summary: ANBU don't cry. They tear themselves apart, bit by bit, and then they stitch themselves whole again. Naruto AU

on shipwreck shore

Word count: 8k

Summary: “I’m going to murder you in cold blood and feed you to the basilisks,” Iwaizumi says conversationally. “You can’t do that, I’m your boss,” Oikawa sings, positively sparkling. “Also we’re partners, which means,” he points at Iwaizumi and leans in, “you’re stuck with me.” Detective AU

Page 305 of 304

Word count: 53k

Summary: “…she called you ‘papa’,” iwaizumi managed. oikawa just stared for a moment longer before relaxing in a smile. “yeah. cute, right? but you can call me ‘daddy’ if you want.”

Temporary fix

Word count: 12k

 Summary: “And you’ve shampooed his hair how many times now? Hmm. Yeah, that’s not technically a bromance.” A/B/O AU

Tokyo Boy

Word count: 16k

Summary: He has feelings for Iwaizumi Hajime, who probably has casual lovers just like him in every major city he visits on business. Oikawa is just his Tokyo Boy, just another pit-stop on Iwaizumi’s travels. Businessman AU

Trial by Fire

Word count: 78k

Summary: (lawyer!AU - in which Iwaizumi loves his objections, Oikawa is beautiful, and they have more chemistry than two opposing attorneys probably should.)

Watch Me

Word count: 32k

Summary: Oikawa's a cam model. It’s been a month since Iwaizumi first spoke in his chat. When they meet in person, things get complicated. Cam model AU

Angst

open when

Word count: 1k

Summary: Iwaizumi knew it was coming, but it still hurt. It still hurt when he opens one letter and drowns it in the tears he cannot keep at bay.

Chasing Paper Suns

Word count: 10k

Summary: Post-high school,     Oikawa makes it to the national volleyball team but Iwaizumi doesn't. The     next three years become an exercise in growing up without growing apart

Quote: “ ‘it’s just—I’m     just trying so hard—’‘What, and I’m not?’

Timeless (We Have 30 Days)

Word count: 12k

Summary: Or AU where you're branded 50 days before you die. But Oikawa doesn't tell anyone so now there's only 30 days left.

the weight of water

Word count: 6k

Summary: “Again,” he says, the smallest tremor in his voice, and Oikawa blinks at him a moment before smiling, soft and sweet. “Iwa-chan,” he replies, and Iwaizumi closes his eyes. “Again.” “Iwa-chan.”

Canon Compliant

Are You Listening?

Word count: 4k

Summary: 30 times oikawa said i love you and 1 time he didn't have to

Quote: “Iwa-chan, watch out for the log—!” Oikawa looked on in horror as his best friend tripped and fell flat on his face.

Edge of the balcony

Word count: 8k

Summary: Iwaizumi looks older, he realizes. Oikawa knew he had aged as well, and so did everyone around him, but the thing was when you see people often, you don't notice the subtle changes in appearance. And Oikawa hadn't seen Iwaizumi in four years.

How can this loser ever win

Word count: 2k

Summary: everyone is in stupid love with Iwaizumi Hajime and he has no idea

♡♡♡Lost in Translation

Word count: 9k

Summary: Because misfortune come in threes, Iwaizumi Hajime starts his Thursday having a screaming fight with Shittykawa, spends his lunch break listening to the UCI women's volleyball team gossiping about how Ushijima Wakatoshi had gone public about his longtime love affair with Oikawa Tooru, and closes out the day by drunkenly dropping his phone into a sewer grate.

maybe we could be enough

Word count: 9k

Summary: iwaizumi hums in reply as the car goes silent, frank ocean crooning from the speakers. they stop at a red light when iwaizumi feels eyes at the side of his face, and turns to look at oikawa.

Most people never even get a single high school rival

Word count: 5k

Summary: Team Argentina gets to know Iwaizumi Hajime (27) Athletic Trainer.

Primavera

Word count: 8k

Summary: They say it takes twenty-six years, for certain breeds to fully bloom.

Quote: Did you know that distance is only me, growing towards you?

♡♡♡rest on your laurels

Word count: 4k

Summary: In Iwaizumi’s heart of hearts, untouched by time, they are young and alive, burning with the hearth of home and bright as winter light. Unbreakable. Invincible.

♡♡♡Something Borrowed

Word count: 16k

Summary: In which Oikawa and Iwaizumi have always been a foregone conclusion to everyone else, but a massive, unanswered question to one another.

‘Til Infinity

Word count: 2k

Summary: “Hey,” he says, “that cloud looks kind of like a dick.”

Quote: “I got you ladybug”

♡♡♡ You Set Off a Dream In Me

Word count: 15k

Summary: In which Oikawa is 41 and ready to retire. He's at the top of his game and ready to find a new challenge. Turns out his new challenge is pretty familiar. It's high school, round 2.

Quote: A past with an Iwaizumi that wasn’t on the opposite side of the net, monsters on all sides, guiding a setter that had lived the dream left behind in the ruins of Tooru’s past self.

Canon Divergent

a world alone

Word count: 60k

Summary: Iwaizumi has his medical books on the musculoskeletal system. Oikawa has his research papers on parallel universes. It isn't until much, much later that they realize they have each other.

♡Almost a Stranger

Word count: 16k

Summary: Iwa-chan's leaving Kapan. Tooru's not sure he can forgive him, but he's not going to admit his long-held feelings, either. A trip to Miyajima complicates everything.

Quote: There are only two things that have ever broken Oikawa Tooru’s heart. Iwa-chan would say Tooru has no heart to break, but that’s simply untrue.

Count your blessings, it goes 1,2,3, me

Word count: 7k

Summary: He's unsettled by the undefined boundaries of their relationship so it's all his luck that he accidentally wins three wishes to be granted just for him, and all that comes to mind is Iwaizumi.

Quote: Now, as an adult, past convenience of circumstance and the haze of hormonal lust, exactly none of his feelings have worn off

♡♡♡the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle

Word count: 66k

Summary: Tooru is pretty sure he could manage the mating habits of a mosquito. It’s the mating habits of people he can’t seem to get right.

♡days fall away

Word count:17k

Summary: Except now he’s back home, so close to his old haunts and to Oikawa himself, and it's—weird.

Quote: “You and Tooru,” he begins, and then shrugs. “I was just thinking, you look at each other a lot.” And he walks away, leaving Hajime winded, and sort of aching, somewhere deep in his chest. Whatever that means.

♡here comes your man

Word count: 8k

Summary: Iwa-chan, it reads, Have a good day today! Good luck! <3 <3 <3 Suga chokes. It’s hard to imagine anyone calling the scowling and fierce Doctor Iwaizumi “Iwa-chan.” But marriage probably comes with all sorts of liberties. Doctor AU

♡♡In damp earth my body

Word count: 15k

Summary: Onscreen, the nation’s favorite setter has arranged himself so that he’s bowing, forehead pressed to the court, like he’s thanking everyone for their kindness thus far, like he’s asking for forgiveness. Hajime thinks: shit, it’s really happening

In the Business of Love

Word count: 22k

Summary: Meet Oikawa Tooru: He's a best-selling shoujo manga artist, a hardcore romantic and you won't believe where he's getting his lovey dovey fodder from...Enter Iwaizumi Hajime: He's Oikawa's best friend, a realist who also happens to be a wedding magazine writer despite not believing in romance...

Quote: A flare of pride lit in Oikawa as he watched Iwaizumi's eyes crinkle with mirth and in that yawning second, it bloomed into a warmth that bordered on a burn, forcing a bittersweet inhale.

it's been so long (nobody knows me the way you do)

Word count: 8k

Summary: Tooru hums, only half-listening. Somewhere along the way, Hajime’s palm has settled itself over the curve of Tooru’s cheek, thumb tracing over the line of his jaw.

Quote: Iwaizumi blushes even more. “That you’re here, I mean. I’m happy that you’re here. With me.”

♡♡♡Mint

Word count: 19k

Summary: It's the December after Iwaizumi’s last year in university when Tokyo welcomes him with a new ad campaign for Bright Days toothpaste, and Oikawa Tooru—fresh off a run at the 2016 Summer Olympics—has decided to grace the city with his signature grin, a flip of his wayfarer sunglasses, and the most irrepressible tag line for the signboard above.

Quote: "To be able to tell him, in the new year."  This comes under Oikawa's breath, so low that Matsukawa and Hanamaki can't hear, and the game continues.

Six-Month Lover

Word count: 89k

Summary: Iwaizumi barks out a laugh. “I’m still trying to get over the fact that you made a PowerPoint presentation about why we should date.” Oikawa doesn’t tell him the file has existed for the last twelve years, constantly receives updates, and that the original copy contained almost a hundred slides before he forced himself to get a grip.

Special Relativity

Word count: 22k

Summary: Time moves differently for people in different inertial reference frames. Oikawa goes on a two-year exploratory mission in space. Iwaizumi's been waiting for a lot longer than that.

♡♡sunset towns

Word count: 33k

Summary: In the summer of 2020, Oikawa Tooru returns home from his first successful stint as captain of Japan’s national volleyball team. In one hand, he holds the undisputed weight of an Olympic medal, and in the other, his unresolved feelings for a childhood best friend.

♡♡Thirty Years and Change (the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad)

Word count:     19k

Summary: It’s July 10th, 2024, and Oikawa Tooru is an Olympian. His smiling face airs on an NHK promo every 45 seconds. He’s captain of the national men’s volleyball team, reigning star of the professional leagues, and he hasn't spoken to Iwaizumi Hajime in two years.

Quote: Oikawa’s grin in  the last set of the morning’s game. Oikawa’s grin as they sat on their asses on a golf course. Oikawa’s grin when they were in college. When they were in high school. When they were twenty-two, seventeen, fifteen, twelve, six.

High School

Bet On It

Word count: 13k

Summary: Hajime knows exactly how shitty Oikawa's personality is, and has no scruples whatsover about betting Oikawa six thousand yen that he can't be nice for an entire week.

Quote: The whole instant-compliance thing was seriously creeping him out. Oikawa from a week ago would have made a crack about how if he'd wanted something cold, he could have just put his face on Hajime's shoulder.

Betweens

Word count: 2k

Summary: Iwaizumi is asleep in the club room. Oikawa is blindingly awake in the club room. The sun moves slowly across the sky, and Iwaizumi’s skin is gold underneath it. Oikawa watches the changing shadows on Iwaizumi’s face and thinks about nothing in particular.

Don’t think too much

Word count: 6k

Summary:  In which Oikawa and Iwaizumi have a confusing, drunken encounter and then deal with the (sticky) consequences.

Quote: As soon as that thought crossed his mind, though, Oikawa did what he always did:  exactly the opposite of what Hajime wanted

Gates

Word count: 12k

Summary: The day after their graduation ceremony, they drive to the beach at Shirahama. Iwaizumi drives, because it’s his car, and as he has told Oikawa on multiple occasions, he’d rather die than let him touch the wheel.

Quote: ‘Yeah,’ he says, because they’re on a beach, and they’re supposed to be on a metaphorical journey, and they’re supposed to be growing up, and completing rites of passage, so it’s honesty, today - just for today, at least.

♡♡i sing the body electric

Word count: 8k

Summary: It was never part of the plan, falling in love with his best friend, but then again, most things in Iwaizumi’s life that involve Oikawa rarely unfold the way he thinks they will.

Quote: But Iwaizumi thinks about Oikawa laughing with that girl in the low light of the gym, a particular kind of quiet intimacy that Iwaizumi’s only ever read about in books hovering in the air, and all it makes him feel is small and petty and spiteful.

it’s better than words

Word count: 3k

Summary: [ or : oikawa makes iwaizumi participate in three bonding activities for new friends, and iwaizumi just wants to know why oikawa's being so weird about this]

Make sure you cross the line

Word count: 4k

Summary: With graduation just around the corner, Iwaizumi knows he has to gather the courage to really ask Oikawa out.

Quote: He’s been asking Iwaizumi to go out with him every single day this past week, increasingly panicked about getting his time and attention now that they’re nearing the end of this season of their lives.

Only the jellyfish know

Word count: 6k

Summary: Their third and final year at Aoba Jousai has come to an end, and the guys decide to go to the beach the day after graduation. That day, the ocean water is salty, the watermelon is sweet, and the people are sweeter.

static

Word count: 6k

Summary: Being snowed in with all of Seijou volleyball in his childhood home brings back a lot of memories for Iwaizumi, because it's kinda Oikawa's childhood home too.

Quote: It's fate that brought them together and choice that keeps them that way. The closest description in Hajime’s vocabulary is partners, but only because Oikawa taught him what its true definition is.

Told before and told again

Word count: 3k

Summary: This is how Hajime and Tooru fall in love, through the accounts of those around them.

Quote: When Oikawa lets out a long, heavy breath, Iwaizumi looks up at him and frowns, and flings a towel over Oikawa’s head to cover his face. Then, he tugs, once, on Oikawa’s fingers, and leads him down the hallway, Oikawa walking quietly in tow.

♡we can do better than that

Word count: 16k

Summary: Oikawa and Iwaizumi go on a road trip during the summer after their high school graduation. It doesn't go as expected, but maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.

Quote: Because Iwaizumi’s known Oikawa nearly all his life and never felt anything more than vague affection usually followed by intense irritation for him. But then suddenly at eighteen years old and nearly two weeks into a very badly planned road trip, it’s like someone flipped a switch somewhere inside Iwaizumi

♡when it starts to rain, they go inside

Word count: 33k

Summary: “Where?” starts Iwaizumi.“ My parent’s old lakehouse, silly, didn’t you hear me the first time?” OR: Oikawa takes Iwaizumi to his lakehouse for two weeks, post-graduation.

reassemble it

Word count: 15k

Summary: When Tooru was six years old, he discovered—unbeknownst to him at the time—two of the most important things in his life: volleyball and Iwaizumi Hajime. It was ironic that he had stumbled upon them hand in hand—quite literally, too.

♡things that change, things that stay the same

Word count: 8k

Summary: Oikawa realizes he's in love with his best friend; it sucks for a while. (But only a while.)

Quote: Iwaizumi’s expression right now is less terrified than it used to get back then, but he’s tight-lipped with concern, and his broad body blocks out other passengers as if their stares might be a danger to Tooru too.

University AU

An Archaeology of Affection

Word count: 23k

Summary: For Hajime, it is a riddle and simultaneously so evident. It fills his chest, surging like water, paints heat up his neck. In retrospect, it eats up his days, makes them its own until it feels like his heart has always been in his throat at the smile thrown over Oikawa’s shoulder, the stilling of his fingers on Hajime’s sleeve.

closure

Word count: 22k

Summary: In his first year of university, Oikawa builds a new friendship and upgrades an old one. Or: Ushijima is not a great wingman, but he tries his best.

Quote: “On the first day of his university career, Oikawa Tooru walks into his dorm, spots his assigned roommate, and turns one hundred and eighty degrees and walks right back out. He dials a familiar phone number - the first one he ever memorized - and starts complaining before Iwaizumi even gets the chance to say hello. “Iwa-chan,” he says, “tell me why Ushiwaka is in my dorm room.”

♡♡♡galaxies, within you

Word count: 21k

Summary: Hajime and Tooru move in together at the start of university. Too bad they’re stuck with the two gremlins that haunt their apartment.

Quote: I AM A HEADASS

Hands to yourself

Word count: 11k

Summary: He missed his parents, and he missed Takeru, and Takeru's badly behaved puppy. He missed Aoba Jousai, and he missed the volleyball team. He even missed Karasuno and Shiratorizawa, just a little.

Home, and how we made ours

Word count: 3k

Summary: “No, I like it here.” There’s a rustling as Iwaizumi shifts, inching closer. “I like it here, as in this crappy apartment—with you.”

Quote: “Do your fights end up being like—you know, about actual things and then extending into toddler days and suddenly you’re accusing Iwaizumi of kissing the girl you used to like in preschool?”

in progress to you

Word count: 6k

Summary: The eventuality of Oikawa and Iwaizumi falling toward each other is dramatically lackluster. Still, it's a process to go through.

Quote: “But what if you didn’t eat my pudding all the time?” Iwaizumi asks flatly, ignoring the way Oikawa is slapping his thigh to get out of his chokehold. “Do you think I buy them for you, huh? I buy them for me, you turd.”

Like we’re made of starlight

Word count: 6k

Summary: (a look into iwaizumi hajime’s journey of falling in love with oikawa tooru, from when they’re babies meeting for the first time to young adults moving in together.)

Ninety nine percent

Word count: 14k

Summary: more than anything, oikawa tooru wants to be with iwaizumi hajime, but he's only ninety nine percent of the way there.

Quote: Their ace was lining up for the ball, knees bent and arm pulled back, just as Tooru tosses the ball……to Hajime.

no sleep in the city

Word count: 7k

Summary: Along their journey to find Tokyo's best ramen, Iwaizumi finds himself asked again and again why Oikawa is still single.

Quote: “I was only telling Hanamaki literally yesterday that your personality isn’t as vile as before,” Iwaizumi informs, slightly stiff from the way Oikawa’s got an arm looped through his own. “Why do you make me such a liar to people I care about?”

Out of nowhere

Word count: 8k

Summary: They move in together after graduation and it's doing weird things to Iwaizumi's heart. He's a little in denial about it.

Quote: Oikawa excitedly ran up to him when Iwaizumi came home with groceries the other day. Not about the food but just to say how boring everything is when Iwaizumi's not there, eyes shining, and he couldn't meet his gaze after from blushing down to his neck. He doesn't know how much more he can take.

♡♡shiver

Word count: 16k

Summary: Oikawa was always the brave one. Hajime just followed two paces behind.

Quote: “I’m in love with you,” Oikawa tells him three days after they graduate junior high, head in his lap and hands gently folded over his chest and completely and totally unconcerned that he’d just shattered Hajime’s world.

Terpischore

Word count: 38k

Summary: They’d ended up going to different universities, Tooru and he. The distance was good for them. The confession Hajime dropped in both their laps wasn’t. That’s how it’d ended – a lifetime of friendship crumbled to dust in the space of five minutes. (Or, a lesson in learning to move on from things you can't have, in finding old loves in new ways and in understanding that life is never truly simple... till it is.)

terrarium

Word count: 11k

Summary: At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?

these foolish things (remind me of you)

Word count: 3k

Summary: Oikawa helps Iwaizumi move into his new college dorm.

Quote: He’s desperate for something to happen. It must show on his face because Iwaizumi blushes and looks away. The thing is, Oikawa always looks at him like this when Iwaizumi isn’t paying attention.

They say it rains diamonds on Jupiter

Word count: 35k

Summary: "You're in love with him. "Hajime considers denying it. "Yeah," he says instead.

Quote: “Share the weight of your feelings with me, Hajime wants to beg when he hears Tooru's first hitched breath. Let me carry some of your burdens”

to be first, to be best

Word count: 26k

Summary: Hajime is apparently something of a masochist, and as he stares down at the tie-dyed AREA51 T-shirt in his hands, he thinks “I’m totally in love with this asshole, aren't I?”

Undecipherable

Word count: 4k

Summary: "Koi no yokan," he says. "The sense one can have upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall in love."

Quote: Because for all the bravado, for all the flaunting Oikawa does, he wants Hajime by his side, and no one else.

♡we shine like diamonds

Word count: 26k

Summary: "You know Abe-kun from class?" they snicker, hands cupped around their mouths like they're passing along a filthy secret. "I hear his older brother is... gay."

Where you are (I’ll be)

Word count: 6k

Summary: Theirs is a love that starts out like a seed and it takes two sets of hands tending it for a shoot to appear. There are no dramatic declarations of love, only a pair of hands that find each other again and again and again.

Quote: Oikawa broke off into giggles as Hajime slowed the descent of his hand from a slap to the back of Oikawa’s head to a gentle ruffle of the taller boy’s hair

♡♡with every second that you could give

Word count: 9k

Summary: The journey of Iwaizumi and Oikawa going for gold.

Quote: He knows they’re too close. Iwaizumi knows it too, and they both decided to move in together anyway.

Your love is sunlight

Word count: 6k

Summary: It's Iwaizumi's birthday, and they have a talk about the future.

Quote: But Hajime doesn’t think any present could top this: them, kissing in a sun-dappled bathroom, Oikawa’s skin warm under his hands, and the promise of a life together stretched out before them.

[venteamocha]

I've seen @nellplays talk about the @attollo game, and I've had it in my to-play list for SO LONG and I'm finally playing it and I decided to do a live post because I never have and I want to and I hope it will be fun to read.

Main review:

Very well written and beautifully descriptive. I could SMELL those locations and for some of them it was more pleasant than others.

Someone brought up that it was confusing a while back and the only thing I found confusing was some of the time shifts. For some reason I thought we were in the same time period when we got the candy and it went to the sibling, I thought we'd just left the shop and gone back and the trip had just been skipped, and then suddenly we were back in the shop and it was clarified that the sibling stuff was in the past. I'm adhd though, so attention is an issue and this could be a me thing?

My MC:

And now the babbling!

Prologue

An Iron FOREST!? That is BADASS!! Okay there are no other options. Do the trees bleed rust when it rains?? Do they rust??

THE MAYOR HAD IT BUILT?? On the one hand he did a cool thing but on the other this guy immediately made me think Anish Kapoor with his big metal bean.

Ah yeah mayor is fantasy Bezos and his Amazon doesn't deliver.

Take the road less travelled by, maybe I can get this guy killed the way I'd die if this were me.

WHAT.... is your name? WHAT... is your favourite color?

We're going to Wonderland!!

Chapter 1

"Naturally, your car had been working until you actually needed it." OH GOD WHAT A MOOD.

I never had a tire iron. I'm a clown. 🤡😆

"America's equivalent to the CAA" 😆 A fellow Canadian, eh???

The vantablack joke!! When will our hero Stewart Semple save us?

My super size drink is my ridiculous trenti drink from Starbucks with almost enough sugary caffeine and milk to drown an infant in.

T o u c h t h e s l i m e. What's the worst that can happen? You get a weird disease that makes your hand fall off? You'll have a great story to tell!

Ahh yes my purpose. My destiny. Eating slime off a fantasy 7/11 ice box. I hear it calling to me and the sound is like the screech of a sugar high toddler in a McDonalds.

Teenager: I've been stoned before but this person is on stuff I can only dream of. Minimum wage won't be enough for me to save them from themself.

Maltazers! Cryptocurrency! This fantasy 7/11 has it all!

I took it because I'm a bad person. Wait, no! I'm sticking it to the man!! Yeah!! Fuck 7/11 and their week old hot dogs!! This is why I crave ice box slime!!

"Indescribable fear of the rolling stones" JSDHDJS let this be about the band

I have some Canadian Tire money wedged in my purse 😔

All convenience stores are liminal spaces imo

If I get a sudden urge to lick this 7/11's toilet I will get very sick but I'll do it because I'm a monster.

A GLORY HOLE FDJDDUJSKSAAOAJ

NO I REJECT THESE CHOICES I'M TAKING A PEN AND WRITING A NEW ONE ON MY PHONE SCREEN MYSELF-

OH GOD IT'S A VOID HOLE IT'S A CTHULHU GLORY HOLE THIS 7/11 IS FOR MONSTER FUCKERS

"The hole releases its grip on you" I'm gonna have this phrase pop up in the depths of my brainmeats someday and it will make me twitch like a chihuahua

The insane void hole not only dropped me on a Florida beach, it also broke my phone? Man, fuck these eldritch abominations.

Back to the city before I really do get eaten by Cthulhu or something similar.

*You have acquired a knife and are now officially a thief*

Toto, we ain't in Kansas anymore.

Sysba 😳

Ice boxes are gonna be poor Quinn's (my mc) trauma, I can tell.

H-humans became angler fish... I...

Flock of birds?? My face when I'm reading all this: 😯

It's my seat now. I will live and die here.

Love the sexuality options!

"You're not into sex or romance and this man affirms your decision" Love this tea 😌

Sadly I'm attracted to trash and ice box slime so he has a chance with me.

Ah, I'm finally a real writer 😢

Ugh, I think I'm gonna end up playing Sylvester's route 😔

"They're from the outside" gave me some bad tingles 😯

Haha yeah I can't be harmed, I'm the mc! And also, uh, don't like death, especially my own.

Haha I got arrested- OH JESUS CHRIST THIS IS LIKE THAT STEPHEN KING STORY THE MIST OH GOD I'M GONNA GET EATEN IN ONE BITE LIKE THAT DUDE FROM JURASSIC PARK AND GOD I MADE TWO REFERENCES FROM ONE SCENE WHAT AM I DOING

MORE SLIME

I never get to eat the slime. I'm like a baby doing its best to eat some glue but my mom keeps yanking me away at the last minute.

We're going where?

[reginaofdoctorwho]

weird shit that would probably have something to do with me in a horror movie

no one wanted this but i’m bored and found a bottle so you’re all getting it. yes these are all true. check the tags, if u think i’ve missed something please let me know!

there was a murder (technically, i don’t really count it as a murder) next door when i was four years old on christmas morning

the weird antique glass bottle i found half-buried in the woods in the woods yesterday with living bugs in it that made no attempt to leave it once i uncovered it

there is a local cult in the next town over. this is not the same as the local cult that was in the other town over where my mom grew up

random completed animal skeletons in the woods behind our house, i’m talking prey and predator, both laid out like in a goddamn scientific diagram. for a while there’d be ones in the middle of our yard, always the same type of animal, always just the bones and nothing else, laid out like it was posed. this has been happening for over half a decade and we have no fucking clue how, why, or who is doing it

the screaming from the woods that i’m going to assume is a fox

my sister almost dated a murderer. his niece or something is in my class

there is a house that is now part of a “local ghost tour” that belonged to my great+ grand parents during the civil war where my great+ aunt died allegedly murdered by her husband who is actually blood related to me. family history says she died of childbirth, which given that it was the 1800s... probably is true

there was an actual murderer in our family a few generations back but he married in and killed his wife and her sister. they didn’t find out about it until they read his journals after he died where it apparently told everything he did and they decided. “well, that wouldn’t look good for the family, and they’re already dead anyway” and just kept it hidden??

the fact we have my great great grandmother’s dress from probably 1890s or 1900s. even more so the fact that i fit in it. if this was fantasy horror (vampires, some immortal thing or ghost) i’d be fucking dead or cursed

fairly certain i was possessed by the ghost of a puritan as a kid

my family seems to have a curse with babies and nurses? my great uncle died when he was born because long story short, hospitals were the new hot thing, he was perfectly healthy, then a nurse dropped him and he died instantly. my sister died when she was a toddler and the hospital actively tried to delete her hospital records to cover it up and ended up getting fined by the state for it. the nurses responsible were not arrested or punished in any way.

my family all has fucked up connective tissue, in my brother it was bad enough he had to get a steel bar in his chest so it wouldn’t cave in.

the many times i have almost drowned, sometimes due to intentional actions by humans (my dad, it was my dad)

this in addition to the other fucked up shit he did before the divorce when he still lived here, including but not limited to: killing my mom’s favorite pet goat, hanging its skull in a tree, and leaving the body in the woods. not letting his kids learn how to cook. anytime someone asked him to cook he’d put as much pepper/hot sauce in as he could (even for like, scrambled eggs) and give it to the youngest person, usually a toddler. this was me at times. taking his kids out to the woods and threatening murder. taking his kids out to the woods and threatening burning. purposely locked the basement from the inside so we couldn’t get the gaping hole in the stairs leading to one of three kids rooms fixed. tearing up pictures of the kids whenever my mom did something he didn’t like. i had more here but i tried to cut it down a litttle

people have threatened to murder me before. one time a girl didn’t threaten, and actually acted like she was starting to like me, but her cousin read her diary or something and found out she was planning to commit a lot of murder, and told her parents and she got sent to a psychiatric ward for a couple weeks

my mom lived down the street from a family that got axe-murdered by one of their two sons when she was a kid. the murderer did get out on an insanity plea and is still in the area. also their neighbor’s mom “lost her mind” (how the story was told) when she had to protect their kids while her husband went over to try to protect the non murderer son when he got home from school and ran over screaming about his brother trying to kill him and had killed their parents

also she knew a girl who almost got kidnapped by this really fucked up traveling serial killer that has his own wikipedia page that is,,, lengthy. the girl had [alleged] mafia ties, and the guy ended up dying shot by police despite them being told to bring him in, which sounds kinda suspicious

long story short i’d probably be the sequel where one comes back

apparently i go to the “bad” school, which i found out in a coffee shop when i overheard two girls talking about how one’s dad went there and how horrible and dangerous it is

school fights are weird. either they don’t happen or they come freakishly close to murder. people slam heads into lockers, stomp on bones, drag people by hair along the ground. one time in my brother’s class a 4′9″ girl sent a 6′2″ football player to the hospital. there was video of a fight a couple years ago that’s still around. it was brutal, but also one of the girls fighting was taking one for the team in it and got the other kicked out

we don’t have a ceiling in all of the third floor, and the cafeteria has 2. this is not relevant in any way, but it’s important to me that you know this

also the guys kept ripping the heating vents/radiators/whatever off the walls in their bathrooms and got almost all the bathrooms locked. including the girls’ ones.

also everyone kept punching holes in the walls so on some of them it’s just,,, metal sheeting down the whole hallway

there are so many fucking shootings in the next town over. literally five years ago it was this nice place where kids would go on history tours, i did when my sister worked for that group. now there is pretty much one business that has not been held up at gunpoint, and if u look up to the serial killer bullet point, it is for v similar ties. it’s a pizza place and if u ever stop by u gotta try it

women in my family have weirdly good intuition but every couple generations we get doubtful. my great grandma didn’t want a hospital birth but decided “hey it’s the hot new thing for a reason”, my mom switched churches based on nothing but intuition and it turned out someone was a pedophile there (found out years later), i instantly could tell my friend’s boyfriend was a pos and wasn’t surprised later when he told her he’d murder and dismember me in front of her, and upon meeting him told him he was a fucking coward and couldn’t do it. he broke up with her a month later.

i was really good friends for a while with two guys that burned a building down. yes they were arrested. i was friends before and after the fire. they’re pretty nice, but this girl they used to date (at different times, they were brothers, yes it was fucking weird and uncomfortable for everyone involved except her but that’s it’s own thing) said some fucked up shit and it was the closest i ever got to starting a fight. anyway i’m still friends with both on facebook. one of them shares a lot of king of the hill memes

speaking of that fight, i 100% would’ve tried to kill her in that moment. u know that john mulaney quote like “i didn’t understand how a person could want to kill another person. then i got cheated on, and i was like ‘oh, okay.’”? that was me, but replace “cheated on” with she told me it was good my five year old sister was dead because she was a waste, and told me she hoped i’d die of covid”. it was mainly the sister thing. i couldn’t move because if i did i’d start a fight with the [way] above mentioned shit.

my family has a literal feud with a local farming family. i mean, we keep farm animals (sheep, goats, chickens), these people have that, pigs, and crops too. the feud was because their great uncle (or great grand uncle, i’m a little fuzzy on the details) published an autobiography (despite not being anyone famous/important) and in it talked about when he was friends with my grandfather and how creepy my great grandfather was (this was the one with the dead firstborn son) because he kept newspaper clippings of the Lindbergh baby’s kidnapping and murder pinned to a board on the wall of his office/basement. also because he was a child of german immigrants who wanted to fight against nazis in WW2 (how suspicious [sarcasm]). members of their family are in my grade. they charged my sister for almost half an extra pound of goods, too, which just revitalized it.

i live by corn fields. i am surrounded by cornfields. (joke one)

i was friends for a while with this girl whose baby teeth,,, didn’t really fall out completely? she was 17 the last time i saw her in person, she’s probably 19 now and judging by her facebook pictures they’re still Like That. she had a very symmetrical mouth/teeth, which made it weirder. just to clarify, she had some of her baby teeth pushed forward and up, so they kind pointed out a little? and all her adult teeth. she was literally so pretty.

a teacher who is v sexual with his female students came into my english class (he is a science teacher) to demand why i wasn’t signed up for his class. we then both became increasingly passive aggressive and he told the whole class where i live with specific directions and landmarks. the guy sitting next to me had to try to tone things down despite being obviously confused as to why it was even happening (me too buddy). he lives down the road from my sister. when my niece had her birthday party at our house i was outside setting things up and he slowed his car down and honked at me. fuckin creep

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Comparing RWBY and YGO DM: The Handling and Evolution of Themes

Hey! Its been a hot minute since I last posted anything RWBY-related but Im laying in my bed right now and Im sick and bored so I guess we're doing this. Today I will do my best to analyze what I percieve to be the main themes and messages of both of these shows, or more specifically, how theyre handled narratively. Im mostly focusing on that part because, while these series do have similar themes and messaging, they are still a few things in which they are wildly different. And with that, lets start with this essay-post-thing!

1. Theres something we need to adress first

Okay so, before we can really talk about this, theres something I feel the need to clarify here: Neither of these stories was "planned from the beginning".

Now, I dont think a story being planned from the beginning or not nesscessarily makes the story any better or worse by default, however, it is still important to acknowledge because the way the story is planned is going to affect every facet of it. Things are not going to be foreshadowed properly, things are gonna be set up only for nothing to come of it, the story might drastically change directions, characters might act differently, etc, etc.

And, this is bit off-topic but, it's much better to just admit that the story was not planned than trying to pretend that it was. Like, there are a lot of reasons why I tend to be so forgiving towards YGO even though its not very good, but one of them is definitely the fact that, as far as Im aware atleast, the guy who wrote it isnt pretending to have had this big master plan all along and neither is the fandom. With RWBY on the other hand... yeaaaah, its kinda the opposite. From what Ive seen of RWBYs fandom, there seems to be this pretty popular narrative that everything was planned even though it clearly wasnt. Thats pretty bad and honestly lowers my opinion of the writers so much more than if they would just admit to not having a proper plan.

Like, I initially consumed YGO like this: Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters, Yu-Gi-Oh (aka Season 0), like, a quarter of the Yu-Gi-Oh manga (I still havent finished it)

In all three of these we have the character of Yami Yuugi, or just Yami. Broadly speaking, he is an ancient egyptian gamer spirit who lives in a magical puzzle that has not been solved for 3000 years until this highschooler named Yuugi Mutou comes along and solves it, thus setting him free and allowing him to possess Yuugi and have access to the vague magical powers of the puzzle.

In Duel Monsters he's perfectly fine most of time, morally speaking. There is an instance of him almost murdering a guy and its a bit unclear what exactly happens to those he mindcrushes but overall he's very much a pretty good guy. In Season 0 most of what he does is set up these games for bad people, where they will go insane no matter what they do. From how I understand this whole Shadow Game, Penalty Game stuff, if you lose a Shadow Game, you get violent and intense hallucinations and you will always cuz yknow, gamer spirit. But if you try to cheat, which most of the bad people do in this show, you get violent and intense hallucinations as a punishment.

Since the two anime are generally considered two different continuities, its perfectly fine that Yamis characterization is wildly different in both of them. But in the manga both of these characterizations appear, basically one after the other with no real arc or consequences, for that matter. Why is that? Simply put, someone thought it was a good idea to try to turn an episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror manga into a more traditional, more plot-driven battle shounen. From what Ive heard, it was apparently largely because of network interference or something, but the point is, it changed directions incredibly drastically with little planning and everyone knows this and I can understand that for the most part.

In RWBY we have the character of Blake Belladonna, who, in the first 3 volumes/seasons atleast, was this aloof, more toned down loner-type character with a pretty strong sense of justice. She's an in-universe marginilized racial minority and she clearly cares about racial injustice. The way its initially framed makes it seem like she had a very hard life and no stable support system, which is what eventually pushed her to join a Civil Rights group/Terrorist organization (good god, the Faunus subplot is so awful, I could write a whole essay about it but Im already de-railing rn so I'll just save that for later).

Then, in volumes 4-5 it turns out her father is actually like, the mayor or chief of this island-place called Menagerie and she grew up in this big mansion with multiple guards/servants. Oh and also, apparently "space is a commodity" on there, so theres that. She still retains large parts of her personality but she's kinda like, worse somehow I think. I cant really describe it in a meaningful way but I hope you get what Im saying anyway. Then in Volume 6 she confronted her emotional abuser Adam (sorry for not mentioning him sooner but yeah, he was like, her abusive boyfriend, which is something that a lot of people disagree with but I wont really say anything about it either way because I dont really feel any specific way) with her friend, Yang, and ended up killing him.

After all that, she pretty much lost the rest of her personality, as well as her arc about all the Faunus stuff. She just kinda became the meek, generically nice, recovering abuse victim. Why? Well, the actual reason is that they didnt plan out shit and are just kinda flying by the seat of their oversized clown-pants and if they and the fandom just admitted it, I would have less of an issue. I still wouldnt be as forgiving towards RWBY as I am towards YGO because the crux of the issue, for me, is just that I dont particulary like RWBY but also like. Do you really expect me to take MKEK seriously as writers after admitting to not have a timeline because iT wOuLd CaUsE pLoThOlEs?

However, since they want us to believe that everything was planned out from the beginning, the explaination would be.... Idk, they deliberately butchered one of their main characters?? Because.. they hate her?? Maybe????

So yeah, that was quite a detour however, I would like you to keep this mind going forward.

2. Themes of the Early Series'

First, what do mean by 'Early Series' for both of these shows respectively? Well, for YGO that would have to be Season 0 or if youre reading the manga, everything pre-Duelist Kingdom. Basically, the part of the series thats a episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror series.

For RWBY that would be the first three Volumes, also known as the Poser-Era. Back then it was just kinda an action series that took place at Anime Warrior Academy (also known as Beacon) with some pretty bare minimum worldbuilding, character-driven plots and developments but now its more of an epic high-fantasy story with more of an emphasis on plot as opposed to just action.

The themes and messages in Early YGO are kinda vague, very confusing to me and if you were to follow any of it literally that would be pretty bad. For now Im just gonna say the main themes are Friendship and Identity and mostly focus on the Identity aspect.

Now, it took me a little while to figure out RWBYs deal but I think the main themes for Volumes 1-3 are also Friendship and Heroism. Once again, I'll mostly focus on Heroism and touch on Friendship more briefly later.

I dont have much more to add to YGOs themes right now, so I'll briefly go over Heroism in RWBY.

In RWBYs setting there are these man-eating monsters called Grimm that have basically infected the planet. In order to deal with that, they have people called huntsmen and huntresses that kill them and protect people. Theyre trained at special academies like Beacon and go on missions there and stuff like that. Our four main characters, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang, are training to become huntresses and one day they go on this mission to clean up a grimm infested city block with one of their teachers. Obviously, that takes a long time so they have to camp out in one of the empty houses. Weiss, Blake and Yang cant sleep because theyve been thinking about this question that their teacher asked them when they were fighting grimm: "Why do you want to become a huntress?"

They have a heart to heart and we find out about their motivations; Weiss wants to bring honour back to her family, Blake want to distance herself from the White Fang (that terrorist organization I mentioned earlier) and as an extension from Adam, Yang wants to have a life of adventure. They also talk about why Ruby wants to be a huntress and it turns out that she judt wants to help people. Unlike the others, she has no motivation besides that. We're meant to listen to that and look at her as a sort-of personification of Heroism: kind, but not naive, strong and most of all, selfless. The others on her team are not portayed as bad for not being like Ruby by any means but we are clearly meant to admire her the most out of all of them.

Okay, now comes the part Ive been looking forward to the most:

3. How did these themes evolve in the Modern Series'?

Alright, before we can really delve into the way they evolved in YGO I'll have to give you a brief summary of the character progression. At the start of DM, during the Duelist Kingdom arc, Yami Yuugi is just that; A darker Yuugi. Hes more confident, bolder, his voice is deeper, hes somehow taller, more ruthless, all that good stuff. Notably, he doesnt actually seem more skilled than Yuugi even at the start of this story, but he's still dependent on Yami. Yami on the other hand, has no identity of his own or even hints at one at this point. He's just The Other Yuugi.

Then during the Battle City arc, they find out that Yami was actually a pharao prior to being sealed in the puzzle, he just didnt know because of amnesia, I guess. So now they need to find out his real name and then send him to the afterlife because hes meant to be dead, but not before saving the world from being swallowed by darkness, which is also a thing they have to do now.

Then we finally get to the Memory World arc, where Yami, Yuugi and the rest of the gang astralproject to ancient egypt via puzzle magic. Yami is trying to figure out what the hell is going on and who all these familiar people are, while Yuugi & Co are trying their best to help him. Then some weird shit happens and it turns out that all of that is not just Yamis sealed away memories, but also a giant D&D Shadow Game that will destroy the world if Yami loses. So now theres Pharao!Yami who is still clueless on the metaphorical and literal playing field and Player!Yami, who is kinda controlling himself now? I guess?? Yamis opponent, The Spirit of The Ring, has something similar to that going on where hes both controlling and properly participating in the game. So Player!Yami is now fighting against Player!TSoTR, Pharao!Yami is now fighting against Thief King Bakura (who is like, the human, ancient egyptian version of the Ring Spirit) and Yuugi is now fighting against Yami Bakura (who is like, the human, modern japanese version of the Ring Spirit). Yuugi gets Yamis real name, he and the gang go over to Pharao!Yami and tell him his name, meanwhile Player!Yami is also somehow helping as well and they defeat the Ring Spirit, thus saving the world. Then they travel to modern Egypt, the Ceremonial Duel happens and Yuugi wins, sending Yami to the Afterlife where he can finally rest and that was the series!

I originally wanted to recount the stuff that was going on with the Ring Spirit and his host as well because they parallel eachother, but this summary is already far too long and I think youll get the point without me needing to explain any more.

My point here is, that the story went from being vaguely about Identity, maybe? to being very clearly about Self-Discovery and Learning to Be Independent. I think this is a very good way to evolve the messaging of your story. How does RWBY track on that?

Well, uh... its not great. I will acknowledge that they have tried to introduce new themes and ideas since, even though I wont really be talking about them in this post. But yeah, the whole Heroism thing really regressed.

Like, I didnt explicitly say it when I was explaining grimm earlier, but theyre not going away. The grimm have always been there and people who sign up to become huntsmen and huntresses are effectively signing up for a job that will never truly be done, no matter what they do. Characters like Ruby and even more minor ones like Phyrrah have shown us that that doesnt matter when youre a hero. No life isnt worth saving, no grimm isnt worth killing, no criminal isnt worth arresting. Then, in volume 6 they find out about Salem. Salem is the Big Bad of the show, shes immortal, controls the grimm and is supposed to be very powerful.

What do our heroes do? They give up. Sike! They were just mindcontrolled by monsters or some shit, of course they didnt give up their mission (which is to bring an Important Macguffin to a city called Atlas, sorry I didnt mention it)!

But then they arrive in Atlas (which is llike, a city thats floating over another city called Mantle) and yknow, they do some plot stuff thats not really important right now until the city gets invaded by Salem and this big grimm army she has.

What do our heroes do? Well, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and some side characters are chilling, drinking tea in a mansion and Yang and the B Team were actually trying to do something, but even those efforts seem incredibly minimal.

Oh wait, I also forgot to mention that Ironwood (a fairly minor, vaguely antagonistic character up until now) wanted to lift Atlas even higher to save Atleasian civilians from danger while leaving Mantle vulnerable to Salems invasion.

What would be the most heroic thing to do?

A) Let Ironwood lift Atlas, get as much support as they can down to Mantle and save as many Mantle civilians as they can from the invasion

B) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas but then split up in order to protect both Atlas and Mantle civilians

C) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas and then dont do anything else

Congrats! If you choose C, you think exactly like the writers!

And I just

This is so mindboggling to me, I feel like I shouldnt even have explain how this is bad. And like, it wouldve been so easy to actually make them seem herokc through their actions, to make it seem like they did try but no.

I have never seen a central theme be this botched, how in the world did they do that? Why did they think it was a good idea for Ruby "The Embodiment of Heroism" Rose to sit in a mansion doing nothing, no planning, no organizing just ..... God, how are they this bad? Like, this doesnt even have anything to do with it being planned in any way, this is just straight up incompetence

4. Very briefly touching on friendship

The friendship is awful and its not solely because they all have the same opinions. They barely interact with eachother outside their designated pairs which leads to it all feeling incredibly hollow. Theyre also practically indistingushable from one another now, which is a shame because it wasnt always like that. Like, I dont think the characters were that well-developed in earlier volumes but they were very well-characterized. But now we've gotten to a point where you can literally copy and paste one characters dialogue onto another and literally nothing changes, it really sucks.

5. Some closing words

Damn, this took way longer than I thought it would and now Im pretty exhausted. I have no idea how yall always write these but props to you! I feel like this ended up a bit rambly but overall, Im pretty proud.

Please let me know what you think of the points I brought up! Id also really appreciate some tips on how to get better at these longer posts because I am planning on writing more in the future (not the near future, probably but yknow).

Thats all I have to say for now, thanks for reading!

[mianmimi]

I think we see him changing throughout the film, with him finally letting go of things beyond his control and accepting where he is in life. When it comes to his love life though, I think he’ll have a harder time being mature about it XD He’s got a very firey heart that wants what it wants.

I don't think he changed that much, though? And I like that? And I can't stop making every sentence a question? This is how I talk in real life, actually? I am sorry?

I like that he keeps certain character flaws that don't make him obnoxious or unlikeable, but that actually make him more sympathetic. I can relate to being fiery and with being sort of in love with the past, having trouble letting go and accepting that some things are out of my control.

I think Stephen is one of those people that will never give up on something. It's his greatest flaw in the comics, too. He just can't quit anything in the middle, he has to satisfy his curiosity and see what's at the end of the line.

It's the reason he'll never get over Mordo in the MCU. Like, romantically or not, he'll torture himself with useless scenarios of what-could-have-been or where he "saves" Mordo from himself.

I get very irritated whenever I hear people saying that Mordo’s jealous of Stephen.

People say WHAT now?

When was that ever conveyed in the movie?

nev•er nĕv′ər

adv.

Not ever; on no occasion; at no time.

adv.

Not at all; in no way; absolutely not.

Mordo never wanted to be the Master of the NY Sanctum. Nor did he ever want to be Sorcerer Supreme. There’s nothing indicating that Mordo wanted anything for selfish reasons. If people really watched the movie and paid attention they’d realize Mordo’s actually the most selfless character there :( Baby baron deserves more love than to be reduced to a jealous rival. There’s no basis for that claim at all and it digs a knife through my liver whenever someone suggests it’s why he left.

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

Mordo was distraught and confused because the Ancient One's plan when she names Stephen the Master of NY Sanctum looked to him like she wanted to use Stephen as cannon fodder. He looks at her with a face that says What? Why're you using him like that? It further cements doubt in his head that she's shady. Which she is and that's why we love her.

Did people even watch the fucking film? Or is it racism? It's probably racism. Yes, bringing the race card. Mordo is Black, so he must be angry and jealous at all times. Y'all... I can't with these people lmao

Mordo IS the most selfless character. YES! I will wilfully ignore the post-credit scene, as I've done for years now, and ain't nobody stopping me. I am a Karl Mordo apologist.

This blog is a beacon of positive energy, y'all. I don't worry about characters of colour any more, knowing there's places like this blog that don't drink the Kool-Aid. Mordo, baby, fans of colour and the gays got your back 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

And the image of Stephen cockblocking Loki is hilarious. Especially if it’s clear that Mordo’s just being professional and polite and Stephen’s already growling at Loki to take a step back

Alpha!Stephen growling at Loki, who can change dynamics like its clothes (the omegaverse version of genderfluid, maybe?) but at that moment is an alpha just to fuck with Stephen and totally hit on Mordo, and Omega!Mordo being embarrassed yet also feeling cute, like, "Stephen, you're acting like a fool..... I didn't say stop."

Sorry, but Loki being Mordo's ex-bf is just so funny and hot to me. Loki meets Mordo when Mordo travelled to Asgard with the Ancient One, he started courting him, Mordo was young and naive, they had a fling... I imagine them having a long-distance relationship with Mordo sending Loki the most melodramatic, ridiculously romantic letters. It's a short-lived romance filled with perfumed letters, bad poetry, and sexy yet classy nudes.

When they see each other again, Loki is a bit surprised by how much Mordo has physically aged, sadden by Midgardian's short lifespans. But then he's like... DAMN. You look even better than before! You're ageing like fine wine, baby.

(Stephen, in the background: BABY? DID THIS MOTHERFUCKER CALL YOU BABY? OH, IT'S DOWN. Magic duel. You. Me. Now.)

Mordo is probably embarrassed by it all, will blush before talking about it. Loki never got over Mordo, though. He points at Mordo and says, "That Midgardian right there? The only one who deserves to live in this mud planet of idiots."

The offer to be Midgard's Queen still stands, Mordo!

_________________________

Ohhhh my goodness sweet Nonny! Thank you for such a wonderful response! I really enjoyed reading it, and that lovely gif is just perfection! ^^ I feel like this blog has gradually become more Karl Mordo focused, which I absolutely have no problem with. I love Strordo as a love team/ship but if I had to focus on one, it’ll be Karl. I just wanna give him so much love 🥺 He’s my favorite though so that’s my personal bias hehehe. I’m a very hardcore Mordo apologist myself. Like c’mon....if Loki and Tony can have redemption arcs, then Mordo can too. And if people can defend their favorites, then so can I.

Omg those scenarios of Loki & Karl having a fling and Loki never really getting over it...perfection! I love how jealous Stephen gets here. As if Karl won’t be able to defend himself. Now I’m chuckling at the thought of Loki & Stephen legit fighting and Karl knocks out both to stop it, dragging an unconscious Stephen by his Cloak while apologizing to Loki. Just imagine Loki sending gifts to Karl randomly & Stephen whining about it. Karl would tease him about it, but also clarifies that Stephen’s his man. No need to fuss my love 😉 😘

Also...I often fantasize of Karl just....ugh, just growing up in a happy family that spoiled him rotten with love. I mean, the multiverse is a thing right? At least one of the those verses would have the Mordos and Krowlers absolutely adoring the hell out of him. Can you imagine there being a Krowler who loved him as much as canon!Krowler didn’t? Someone who would be mortified to learn there’s another version of him that tried to sacrifice his precious grandbaby? Idk why, I just love this little fantasy that somewhere in the vast multiverse good!Krowler is wrapped around Karl’s little finger. Like alright darling boy, stop crying, it’s only a papercut *tosses book into the fire for the crime of making Karl bleed*

[in-arlathan]

These Stolen Moments

More Solavellan fanfiction, yeah! <3  ______

Time period: During DA:I Characters: Female Lavellan (Elenara Lavellan), Solas, Leliana Pairing: Solavellan Chapters: 1/1, Length: 2,971 words Rating: PG-13, Teen And Up Audiences

Summary: One night at Skyhold, Lavellan finds herself unable to rest. Trying to find peace in the Inquisition library, Solas seeks her out to offer some comfort.

A/N: Like many Solasmancers, I thought the relationship between him and Lavellan deserved at least one more cut scene. But since the game didn’t give us that I spun my own little fantasy and transformed it into fanficition. It’s much more romantic than the stuff I usually write, but it made me happy so I wrote it anyway. I hope you enjoy it. <3

You can also read this on AO3.

______

The castle was quiet at last. She couldn’t recall the last time things at Skyhold had been so peaceful. Ever since the Inquisition had taken refuge in the old edifice, the courtyard and corridors had been bustling with people. Even the gardens, a place dedicated to silent contemplation, was filled with an on-going hum of conversations and prayers.

Elenara stood in the door that led her quarters in the Inquisitor’s tower and breathed a sigh of relief. She had grown so accustomed to the noise that she almost forgot the comfort of silence.

In her youth she would often steal away from the camp of her clan to seek out the quiet places in the forest. She would look for clearings or a patch of grass by a water course where she would lay down and stare up at the lush canopy and the bright blue sky beyond. In these moments, she felt the vastness of the world that made her sorrows seem small and petty by contrast. She would close her eyes and just listen to the rustling of leaves or the distant songs of birds and allow herself to just be.

How much simpler life had been back then.

Elenara readjusted the stack of books she carried with her and began walking down the great hall.

Once, she had listened to the voices of nature. Now, all she could hear was the sharp metal shriek of blades, the commands bellowed by Cullen and his officers, the battle cries of thousands upon thousands of Inquisition soldiers. And the prayers, of course. More prayers than she had ever heard before. Even at night she could hear the faithful calling out to her. Not much else seemed to exist, but the crushing burden their words carried to her.

So, she was glad for these rare moments of silence. She enjoyed the soft hissing of wind slipping down the hall, as well as the crackling of dying flames in the fireplaces.

She reached the door on her left that led to Skyhold’s rotunda and opened it. The circular room beyond was dark, just like the rest of the castle, and a pang of disappointment hit her. A small part of her had wished Solas would be awake, still working on his mural, but he was nowhere to be seen.

It’s alright, she told herself. You’ll see him tomorrow.

At least she hoped she would. Her entire relationship with Solas – if one wished to call it so – had been a constant back and forth between them. First, she had kissed him, but felt like she messed up. When she tried to withdraw from him, he held back and kissed her in return. Much later, he would come to her, admitting to having not forgotten what had happened between them, just to walk away from her. But not until they had kissed once more and he had said the words that turned her world upside down completely.

Ar lath, ma vhenan.

Her heart skipped a beat every time she remembered this moment. She was not certain if Solas had spoken in Elvish on purpose to conceal the meaning behind his words, or if he did it because he knew she would understand. Either way, she was very much aware of the meaning behind his words.

I love you.

Elenara felt her throat go tight. Solas was a mystery to her, one she would gladly like to figure out. But it would take time and if there was one thing she didn’t have in abundance, it was just that. For now, all she knew was that, if he’d stayed but a moment longer with her on that balcony, she’d told him how much she loved him in return.

You can wonder about this some other time, she thought, chiding herself like a child. Concentrate on what lies before you.

Letting out a sight, she crossed the room and slipped through the door to her left. Her steps echoed on the stone walls as she climbed the stairs to the rotunda’s upper floor.

The library was silent as well and the candles had been put out a good long while ago. Luckily, she knew where Helisma kept the flintstone she used to light them.

Elenara placed the stack of books on the chair Dorian usually occupied during his studies in the library and hurried over to the researcher’s desk. With only soft streaks of moonlight to illuminate the room, she had to fumble around before she found what she was looking for. With the flintstone in hand, she returned to Dorian’s reading nook and lit the candles on one of the candelabras. Their golden glow was soft and subtle, but it was enough to help her read the titles.

She turned to the pile of books and picked the one on top. It was a massive tome with golden letters ingrained on its cover and spine, an old Tevinter text Dorian had recommended to her to help her understand the inner workings of his homeland. The writing was so dry and tiresome, it had taken her ages to get through the text, but it had provided some insight into the cultural shift from the worshipping of the Old Gods to the Chantry, and that was good enough for her.

Scanning the spines, Elenara searched for the spot where the book was kept on the shelves. Thanks to Dorian, all of the books at Skyhold were sorted in alphabetical order which made the task of returning them to the library much easier. When she found the gap on one of the shelves where the Tevinter tome used to be, she put it back and returned to the rest of her stack.

She had just grabbed another book when she heard something. For a second, she believed it was a soldier or a servant walking from the tavern across the courtyard, but she dismissed the idea quickly. The sound had been much closer and much softer, not like the heavy cluck of booted feet.

“I see you are still awake,” someone said.

She whirled around on instinct, her senses on alert, her body ready to fight. Only then did she recognize the elven figure that moved closer from the other side of the library.

“Solas!”, she exclaimed and let out a sigh of relief. “Good Creators, you startled me!”

He chuckled softly as he stepped into the circle of soft candle light. The golden glow covered his face with stark shadows. “I’m sorry, vhenan,” he said wringing his hands. “I didn’t mean to.”

She let out a long, shuddering breath.

“It’s alright,” she told him with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Where did you come from? I thought you’d already gone to bed.”

“I was out on the balcony for some fresh air,” he said gesturing towards the door through which he’d entered the library. “Then I heard footsteps and concluded that it was you, so I came to see if you’re alright.”

“You knew that it was me … by my footsteps?” she asked, baffled.

“Of course.” He said. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“It’s just… something a hunter might do, not a mage.”

“You should never underestimate my tracking skills, vhenan.” A sly smile tugged at his lips. “I survived on my own in the wilderness for a good long while, after all.”

For a moment, he seemed incredibly young. It made her think about a conversation she’d overheard back at the Storm Coast. She and the rest of her party had been tracking down a group of red templars that sought to gain a foothold in the area, when Blackwall and Solas had started to exchange war stories. She remembered the Grey Warden being delighted to share his experiences with another soldier, and also rather perplexed.

“For all your experience, Solas,” Blackwall had said. “You don’t carry yourself like a soldier.”

And Solas had beamed at the elder man. “Oh, you should have seen me when I was younger. Hot-blooded and cocky, always ready to fight.”

She’d never admitted to Solas that she, too, had had trouble picturing him as a warrior in full armor. But now … with this smile …

It made her want to kiss him, badly.

“Why are you still awake?”, she asked quickly.

“There was something wrong with the tea”, he replied and pressed his lips together for a moment. “It was caffeinated and kept me awake long after dark. Well, keeps me awake”, he clarified and looked around the empty library. “I am still waiting for the effect to wear off.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she said and gave him a warm and soothing smile. She knew Solas found comfort in the Fade just like she used to find comfort in the old tales and legends of her people. Without it, life was much harder to endure.

“What about you?” he asked, looking at her intently.

She weighed the book in her hand and hurried to place it back on the shelves. “Couldn’t sleep either,” she admitted and was surprised by how tired she sounded. “There is just… so much to think about…”

Solas took another step towards her. Before she knew it, he reached around her with his left hand and placed it on her lower back. The faint smell of his skin lingered between them. Her heart jumped into her throat. Suddenly, she was very aware of his presence.

“If you like to share your thoughts with me, I’d be happy to listen,” he said in a quiet voice.

She coughed and looked away to avoid his gaze. His eyes were filled with such longing that it was almost too much to bare.

Studying the tomes on the shelf beside her, she said: “I’ve been reading all lot of these books lately. I had hoped to find some answers in the old text, but all it did was made me think. How can anyone do justice to this world? How can you set everything right, seeing all the bad things happening to good people?”

She sighed. “How am I supposed to do all this?” she asked in a much lower voice. Her throat went tight with grief and the crushing feeling of responsibility.

A saturnine look crossed his face. “I don’t know if I can provide a satisfying answer to your questions,” he said. “I’m not sure if anyone can. All we can do is trust in your capabilities to lead this Inquisition, for better or worse.”

Her lips twisted into a sad smile. “I was afraid you might say that.”

“I’m sorry,” he said again, looking more troubled than she had ever seen him.

“Don’t be,” she replied. “It’s not like any of this is your fault.”

His hand on her back twitched ever so slightly, but she noticed it anyway. These days, she seemed to notice everything about him. The slight changes in his moods, the way he carried himself when he thought no one was looking. Even the expression of serene joy and delight when he was working on his mural. He was a miracle with a thousand little details and she wanted to know each and every one of them.

“Is there something on your mind?”, she asked. “You seemed to be on edge these last couple of weeks.”

That must be the biggest understatement in all of history, she thought to herself. Solas was always on edge, especially when he was alone with her.

“It is nothing to concern yourself with,” he said evasively and his gaze flicked to her lips. “My troubles will pass, one way or another.”

“Is there anything I can do to lift your spirits?” she asked teasingly.

“A kiss might be a good way to start,” he admitted after a short silence.

Elenara raised her eyebrows in surprise. Did she hear that correctly?

“Come here, then,” she said softly and turned until they stood face to face. Her heartbeat quickened, as she placed a hand on his cheek. He let his hand slip from her back to her waist, bringing up the other one to hold her tightly.

“It would be kinder in the long run,” he’d said the last time they kissed. Since then, his words had made her wonder what he truly meant. She knew there was something between them, he had admitted it himself. Yet, he was determined to not give in to his feelings for her. But why?

Was it because she was Dalish, still?

Back in Haven, he had confessed to her that the Dalish had attacked him on sight and that he had no desire to get in touch with the clans any longer. His words had caught her like a kick to the stomach. Though it had not been her own clan who had attacked Solas, she knew it might has well have been them. She herself had fought off countless bandits in her time as a hunter.

Yet, she knew that the clans were only protecting themselves and more often than not, they had good reasons to be suspicious of strangers. But the thought of Solas being wounded by a Dalish arrow had left her feeling guilty and distressed. She wanted him to see the many admirable attributes of her people in the faint hope it would make him feel less lonely. To show him that there was no reason to be afraid of them.

Of her.

“My heart,” she breathed, caressing his lips with her thumb. She smiled at him, then guided his face towards hers. He allowed Elenara to brush her lips against his, while he drew long breaths through his nose. And she drank from him, relishing the taste of his mouth.

When she was out of breath, she pulled back ever so slightly, resting her forehead against his. Letting out a quiet satisfied moan, she let her hands slide down to his chest. He was breathing just as heavily as she was. His chest heaved under her touch.

“I enjoy kissing you far too much,” he said with a soft smile. His breath smelled of honey and herbs, sweet and delightful.

Elenara tilted her head to look at him. Was that regret in his voice?

“You make it sound like a bad thing.”

His cheeks colored. “Oh, no, that’s not what I meant,” he hurried to say. “It’s just... I’m not …”

“… used to it,” she said, finishing the sentence for him. “I know. We should do this more often, then.” She let her lips touch his once more. It was not a kiss, not quite, but it set her body on fire nonetheless. “Besides, I enjoy kissing you, too.”

She pulled him closer and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. His body tensed and for a moment it seemed like he wanted to flee from her, but when she opened her mouth and deepened the kiss, he finally relaxed. Accepting the invitation, his lips parted and his tongue entered her mouth.

There was the passion she’d first experienced back in their shared dream in the Fade. It washed over her like a rising tide, almost sweeping her off her feet. She returned his kisses with the same fire, losing herself in the embrace. She couldn’t tell if his hunger was greater than hers or if it was the other way around. All she knew was that they both wanted more, fully aware of the fact that no kiss would never be enough.

“I want you,” he whispered.

His body was radiating heat like a bonfire. She wanted to take it all in, even if she might get burned in the process. All her life, she had waited to meet someone like him. Someone that made her feel alive.

“I want you, too,” she said and kissed one corner of his mouth. He sighed softly, his eyes half-closed. It was the sweetest sound she’d ever heard in her entire life – and she wanted more of it.

With the greatest effort, she let go of him.

Elenara took his hands and squeezed them gently. “Come with me,” she said, nodding in the vague direction of the Inquisitor’s tower. Up there, in her chambers, they could continue what they had started in a more private setting.

“I don’t think…”

“Lady Inquisitor!”

She flinched.

That was Leliana’s voice!

In an instant, Solas parted from her and took a step back. The lack of his warmth right next to her hurt more than she would like to admit. “Don’t…” she gasped, but Solas simply shook his head.

“You have other matters to attend to.”

She knew he was right. If Leliana needed to speak to her at this hour of the night, it must be important. That didn’t make it any easier, though.

She only hoped her face didn’t look as warm as it felt.

“Goodnight, Inquisitor,” Solas said in a casual tone and took another step back. He bowed ever so slightly just when Leliana reached the top of the stairs. The spymaster stopped dead in her tracks and watched as the elven apostate turned on his heels and headed in the opposite direction.

Elenara felt like her heart would tear apart at any moment, when she forced herself to look at Leliana. “How can I help you?”

Leliana stared, as if she had forgotten, why she wanted to speak to Elenara in the first place. Her eyes were fixed on the doorway through which Solas had made his exit.

“Leliana?”

The spymaster blinked, her focus returning to Elenara.

“Oh, yes! I’m sorry” she said and squared her shoulders. “I have news from Halamshiral, my lady. You should look into this.”

Right back in the mess, Elenara thought as she followed Leliana up the stairs to her office.

__________

Thanks for reading. <3

[pudding-on-parade]

Rambling about Lylanir

Just contemplating rules and culture and, y’know, world-building stuff. Also to-do lists. It’s mostly meant for me because I find that “writing” helps me to clarify things in my own head, but if you want to read along, feel free. :) I’ll warn you that it’s really long, and I’ll probably edit it over time to make it longer still. Or maybe shorter, if I delete things I’ve gotten done. WHO KNOWS WHAT I’LL DO???!!

Right now, I’m just working in Edit Town mode. I’ve moved in a placeholder Sim (who will be annihilated when I start adding the real population; I love that you can do that in TS3) so that I can let the world run a bit so that it generates service Sims. Currently, I’m deleting some rabbitholes I don’t want and adding some that I do. Also, some lots for some of the Ambitions functions. Like, do not want school but do want stadium, police, and military, so I’ve deleted/put those down. 

Also do want:

A spa. Partly rabbithole, partly playable. I want it to be a hot springs. Gonna use one of the world’s empty 64x64 lots for it, I think. Maybe a little smaller, but still a big lot. The DV spa rabbithole is pretty elvish-looking, so I might use a rug instead...or I might decide elvish-looking is OK for a spa. Mostly, I just want it to be pretty and relaxing.

A junkyard. I wish there were more period-appropriate junk piles, but I’ll make do with the “normal” ones. I also want to look at the “Inventing Overhaul” mod I have. I think I remember that you can replace the inventable objects with other things. I’d like some more slightly-advanced but closer to period-appropriate things than the advanced tech that mod uses. Like, inventing telescopes, for instance. Not sure I’ll be able to do that because I have zero TS3-modding skills, and if I can’t, I’ll settle for them inventing anachronistic stuff, mostly because I just love inventor Sims and the blacksmith’s house in the village is already furnished with an inventing station.

Business, criminal, theater, and science rabbitholes.

An art gallery that’s really more of a studio, with easels and sculpting stations and that Store glass-blowing/jewelry-making thing. maybe the toy-making thing from the Store and stuff like that. I’m going back and forth as to whether this stuff should be part of a residential home for a Da Vinci-like Sim or if it should be a community lot so that everyone of an artistic bent can use the stuff. I’m currently leaning more toward the latter.

A non-rabbithole, playable boarding school for the less-agrarian kids. Not sure what I need to do in TS3 to make that work. Need to do some reading/thinking about it.

Something for vampires, but definitely not a typical “Vampire Lounge.” I’m thinking....Well, the town has a monastery. It has a big, explorable, and very gothy tomb under it. Kinda thinking the “brothers” will all be vampires.

Maybe want:

A hospital rabbithole. I can’t decide if I want the medical careers (including custom ones I have, like nursing) in this world. I know I won’t be sending people there to birth babies -- mostly because of travel time -- so otherwise its only function would be careers, so....I don’t know. The world’s alchemy-heavy, and I have some custom elixirs for curing illness and such, so maybe a hospital is unnecessary.

A salon. Makeovers might be nice. A super-gay medieval stylist would be hilarious. Tattoos...maybe. In the real world, tattooing goes back to at least ancient Egypt, but I’d need to download some more appropriate designs than what the game comes with. I’m not sure this is important enough to me to go to that effort.

Wish I could have: A fire station. But that requires the fire truck and that’s pushing anachronism tolerance waaaaaay beyond my threshold. :)

Then, I need to go into all the prebuilt lots and edit them as needed. Like, I know because I looked that some of them have all modern kitchen appliances. Do not want.

Once all that’s done, all the service Sims ought to have been generated. So the next step will be making them over so they look right. Because they generate like this:

Yeah, that’s not gonna work. *laugh* But, I’ll only need to change hairs and everyday outfits, so it shouldn’t take long. What will take a long time will be making the playables, given the CAS lag I have. Which hopefully won’t be as bad since this Mods folder will be much lighter on the hair than my “normal” folder...

So, some ideas about this place’s environment and culture and all that:

Its climate will be temperate with all four seasons but on the cooler side. Longer autumn/winter/spring, shorter summer. Mostly to make farming a little harder. Lifespans will be longer to match because I like to take my time with things. Horses, of course, will be integral to this world.

Traveling won’t be allowed, so it’ll be an isolated culture with no one immigrating or emigrating once I’ve got the population set. UNLESS I decide to “network” in one or two other historical worlds of a similar era using the Traveler mod. I don’t know that I’m up for setting up more than this world, though. *laugh*

I’ve been putting in some thought about this place’s culture and while I don’t have much figured out yet, I DO know that this place is definitely going to be fantasy with only a medieval-esque veneer. But I also want it to have an unusual culture, not an LOTR-like sort of epic fantasy. This means it’s going to diverge a lot from the real Middle Ages, and I’m not gonna care. Given that, I’ve decided to go all out on some fantasy things.

Like, I’m going to use the dragons that came with Dragon Valley. I’m not quite sure how yet. I might limit them to supernatural Sims having them, maybe only one kind of supernatural having them. Maybe as a sort of witch familiar? Not that I don’t want witches to have cats, of course! *laugh* Maybe dragons can be fairy companions...

That said, obviously supernaturals will be integral here. :) But there won’t be superstition or stigma about them. No witch trials/burnings or anything like that. They’ll just be...people. Well, OK, if I do a feral werewolf colony, they’ll probably be feared, but otherwise? People will be cool with the supernatural, even embracing them and seeking to become one, i.e., those monastic vampires. Even though the vampires are probably gonna kill people. For population control, if nothing else.

For the supernaturals....I’ve downloaded a bunch of skin color ramps, I think they’re called. The things with ranges of unnatural colors on one slider. I’ve never used them. I think I’m going to use them for at least some of the supernaturals, designating a color family for each type of supernatural. I also have a mess of unnatural hair color presets, and I’ll do unnatural eye colors, too. I want to do this partly because I think it’ll be visually interesting and very different from what I’ve done in all my Simming before, but mostly because I’m curious to see how the Advanced Genetics that are part of NRAAS’s Story Progression (as well as a mod I have that blends parental hair colors) will handle such things. I’m hoping for some interesting results, especially with supernatural hybrids. 

Speaking of witch burnings...Religion. If there is one at all in this world, I’m definitely not doing anything from the real-world West. Probably won’t even do anything like the Sims Medieval style of religion. I’m not sure if the “monastery” will be related to religion at all, in fact. Currently, I’m leaning toward it being the vampires themselves who are worshipped by everyone else or at least by all the humans. Like, people could send them sacrifices to be drained in exchange for...something. :) I have no idea what right now. But I’m toying with a “backstory” about vampires that they are perhaps technologically advanced and not even former humans. Maybe they’re aliens, maybe they’re time travelers. Maybe they’re stranded in Lylanir, maybe they came deliberately as observers or something. Mostly, I’m thinking this because I want to be able to use the science station to make forbidden fruit seeds because I want to use Plantsims. *laugh* I can utilize that big-ass tomb under the monastery to hide some more advanced tech. 

But one cultural thing that I am certain of: It’s going to be an egalitarian society. None of this female oppression bullshit. I don’t want it to be female-dominated, either, but just....equal. So, women don’t have to be married and push out a dozen babies if they don’t want to. And they can wear comfortable, practical clothing, including pants. And they don’t have to cover their hair. And they can be badass warriors if they want to be. All that stuff. 

A bit of culture I’ve invented, following on from women not having to cover their hair, is that women above child-age will wear braided hairstyles, and the more elaborate the braiding, the higher the status she has. Because only those with status would have time to sit for hours and braid (or have someone else braid) their hair. I’ve downloaded a bunch of elaborately-braided hairstyles, and I’m looking forward to using them. 

And I want to think of something similar for men, but I’m having a hard time coming up with something. I’d be fine with complex braids for them, too, but alas such hairstyles don’t seem to exist for males. At least, not very many of them. Maybe tattoos, if I make them more expensive than the game charges for them? If that, then I need to move a salon up to the “Do Want” list.

And that’s enough, I think....FOR NOW!

[artemis-entreri]

[[ This post contains Part 6 of my review/analysis of the Forgotten Realms/Drizzt novel, Boundless, by R. A. Salvatore. As such, the entirety of this post’s content is OOC. ]]

Genre: Fantasy

Series: Generations: Book 2 | Legend of Drizzt #35 (#32 if not counting The Sellswords)

Publisher: Harper Collins (September 10, 2019)

My Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Additional Information: Artwork for the cover of Boundless and used above is originally done by Aleks Melnik. This post CONTAINS SPOILERS. Furthermore, this discussion concerns topics that I am very passionate about, and as such, at times I do use strong language. Read and expand the cut at your own discretion.

Contents:

Introduction

I. Positives I.1 Pure Positives I.2 Muddled Positives

II. Mediocre Writing Style II.1 Bad Descriptions II.2 Salvatorisms II.3 Laborious “Action”

III. Poor Characterization III.1 “Maestro” III.2 Lieutenant III.3 Barbarian III.4 “Hero” III.5 Mother

IV. World Breaks IV.1 Blinders Against the Greater World IV.2 Befuddlement of Earth and Toril IV.3 Self-Inconsistency IV.4 Dungeon Amateur IV.5 Utter Nonsense

V. Ego Stroking V.1 The Ineffable Companions of the Hall V.2 Me, Myself, and I

VI. Problematic Themes (you are here) VI.1 No Homo VI.2 Disrespect of Women VI.3 Social-normalization VI.4 Eugenics

VII. What’s Next VII.1 Drizzt Ascends to Godhood VII.2 Profane Redemption VII.3 Passing the Torch VII.4 Don’t Notice Me Senpai

Problematic Themes

No Homo

Boundless continues to perpetuate some long-standing regressive to outright harmful ideas, as well as introducing new ones. There are two that are the biggest. The first is something that's existed for over two decades in the Drizzt books, and something that I've criticized Salvatore for for a long time: the fetishization of sapphic relationships. While Boundless is an improvement (and a bit of an oddity for Salvatore) in that it doesn't include any gratuitous lesbian sex scenes or allusions, it still very much perpetuates an imbalanced representation, such that it wouldn't be fair to describe it as true representation. Yet again, despite it being canon that the default sexuality in the Realms is pansexuality as opposed to heterosexuality in our world, the only people that we see in Boundless that are capable of same sex attractions are female. Ever since the token gay guy Afrafrenfere's epiphany that everything else he'd been engaged in, which includes his deceased boyfriend, was a distraction from enlightenment, there hasn't been so much of an implication that men could be attracted to other men in Salvatore's Realms. There exists more chemistry between Harbonair and Zaknafein than between Zaknafein and Dab'nay, which is rather sad given that the latter pair are actively sexual with each other. There's of course the possibility that Salvatore just doesn't know how to write gay male chemistry, but to be fair, his heterosexual chemistry is pretty bad. Most of it is just sex or another physical act spontaneously happening that triggers a change in the nature of the relationship, for instance, the start of the relationship between Entreri and Calihye. There's so much background "everyone is heterosexual" stuff going on that to be inclusive, Salvatore just needs to mention that there's more than one man in an orgy rather than it always being one man to many women. Or, better yet, use an example directly from the world canon that other authors have used, namely, that the workers of a brothel or attendants in a temple of Sune are of more than one gender and that a male client is greeted by both male, female, and other gender-identifying attendants. Casual inclusion of this nature isn't difficult, and we see Salvatore do it with sapphic stuff enough that leads me to believe that it's a choice on his part not to be fully inclusive. 

An example of when Salvatore could've gone for inclusion, but instead went for fetishization, is in the scene of Dahlia infiltrating a Waterdhavian nobles' ball:

This isn't much better than gratuitous lesbian sex scenes at the total exclusion of gay men. It's completely unnecessary for Salvatore to have specified that women also drooled after Dahlia; simply stating "people" would've been sufficient. It's not like Salvatore doesn't have many chances and setups where he can drop a hint that gay men exist in the Realms like he does so frequently for gay women. Oftentimes, Salvatore's writing feels very much like he realizes that there's "too much" chemistry between two male characters, such that he has to throw in a "NO HOMO" wrench. For instance:

While there isn't anything inherently gay in this passage, there isn't anything inherently gay in so many places where Salvatore artificially injected "these women are sapphic" indicators. Yet here, between two male characters, it's specifically clarified that it's brotherly love. Love is love, it shouldn't have to be clarified like this. Sure, some people might jump to romantic love, but so what? This was a good opportunity to at the very least, leave it vague, but apparently Salvatore can't stomach it enough that he has to cross the possibility out with a bold black marker (maybe its the same sharpie he uses on the tapestry of Faerûn). It's as though the possibility of romantic love between two men somehow taints the sacredness of their bond. Salvatore's writing style is very old-fashioned and set in its ways, but that's no excuse not to change. Despite his espoused views on social media, Salvatore's lack of representation in his writing suggests a discomfort that he doesn't want to address. This is increasingly problematic as we try to push to a better world with more acceptance and equality. Inclusion isn't truly inclusion if it's done with only a portion of the population. 

Disrespect of Women

What Salvatore does with sapphic women is fetishization, which is additionally problematic because it's a short hop from objectification of women. This point is one that I haven't touched on much in the past, but it's glaring in Boundless because in this novel, Salvatore also tries to demonstrate respect of women. Salvatore has a long history of poorly-written female characters. In his books, a female character's most redeeming characteristics were that she was hot and young. For a while, I could tell which female characters were there to stay, which were doomed to die from the get-go, and which would suffer horribly as they met their inevitable end. It always had to do with how physically attractive the character was, and usually with respect to how she measured up to Catti-brie's beauty. Not counting female villains like Sheila Kree who were not coincidentally unattractive, protagonist characters weren't spared this treatment. For instance, Delly Curtie didn't hold a candle to Catti and could barely find happiness with Catti's rejected suitor. By the same token, Innovindil, who, despite being a full-blooded elf, wasn't as beautiful as Catti, and was subsequently very short-lived. Dahlia, another full-blooded elf who wasn't as beautiful as Catti, admittedly didn't die (yet), but what she went through is arguably worse. Dahlia is portrayed to be very much second best to Catti, from her looks to her rejection by Drizzt to Catti outright beating Dahlia in a fight. So, of course, Dahlia gets stuck with Entreri, who's frequently portrayed as second best to Drizzt. Salvatore does deserve credit for trying to break the mold with Penelope Harpell and Wulfgar, but Penelope's appearance doesn't leave much of an impression. We're reminded multiple times that she's an older woman, and the focus is on her personality, but with how often younger female characters' physical appearance is mentioned and re-mentioned, it gives the impression that Salvatore doesn't believe older women can be physically attractive. As always, Catti-brie was an exception to the rule, for even in her mid-forties, "her form, a bit thicker with age, perhaps, but still so beautiful and inviting to [Drizzt]", a characterization that follows another sentence describing how beautiful she was barely a page prior. But we don't hear such about Penelope, instead, we're told about the strengths of her personality, which are admirable, but only become the focus for her, rather than for a young-appearing strong female character like Yvonnel the Second. This is not to mention that someone's form probably shouldn't be characterized as inviting, as that is something the person should do, not something done by the person's looks. The objectification of women is problematic enough on its own, but instead of addressing the issue, Salvatore appears to consider it sufficient to put in a significant anecdote featuring a temporary character to prove that he is an ally to women. The mysterious "demon" possessing the little girl Sharon is painted as a moral adjudicator, entrapping the evil in its unbreakable cocoons filled with wasps that have human faces. Before this "demon" entraps Entreri, it ensnares an old man, whom we're simply told is an old lecher, with no insight about what makes him such and what wrongdoings he'd committed. All we know is that he and his wife attempted to kidnap Sharon and threatened to kill her if she resisted. It's not very clear what's going on in that scenario or what the couple's intentions were. The man's description shifts suddenly from nothing to "old lecher", and he is damned to an eternity of suffering. But how was he a lecher? Was Salvatore trying to imply that he intended to sexually assault Sharon? Or was human trafficking one of his many sins, with the "lecher" part referring to how he is towards women? While all of these crimes certainly warrant harsh punishment, the message that Salvatore's trying to convey isn't clear. Furthermore, the anecdote gives the reader zero satisfaction in the guy's punishment, because we're only marginally invested in what's happened. His anecdote is nothing more than a cheap and lazy setup to illustrate what the "demon" can do.

Social-normalization

The second of the two worst among Salvatore's long-standing problematic themes is the simplified and social-normative qualifications of what makes a person worthwhile. To put it simply, one is good and just if they are the Companions of the Hall and/or act like them, despite the many many ways that the Companions behave unheroically and hypocritically. On the flip side, one who doesn't subscribe to or follow the model of the Companions is evil, bad, or not worthy of existence unless they change to become like the Companions. Of the latter group, it isn't sufficient to change to become a different version of themselves. For instance, during the demonic assault, Zaknafein throws himself into the fray of battle, risking his life, yet again, for his ungrateful son. Yet, Drizzt's takeaway from watching his father do this is, "joy to see his father so willingly risking his life for the cause of the goodly folk of the Crags". There appears to be a subconscious inconsistency here on Salvatore's part, for he even writes that Zaknafein helps the dwarves because Zaknafein knows it's what his son wants him to do, so removing Drizzt from the picture, Zaknafein wouldn't be doing it solely on behalf of the dwarves. Zaknafein isn't Drizzt, and that's a good thing, for not everything needs to be a Drizzt clone, but Salvatore doesn't seem to agree with that assessment. 

Salvatore doesn't seem to realize that Drizzt is the problematic one. Boundless represents a point in time in which it's been awhile since Zaknafein has returned. During this time, while Zaknafein has been trying to adapt and adjust his worldviews, Drizzt's perspective hasn't changed at all, despite Jarlaxle spending a great amount of time talking to him about Zaknafein and presumably helping Drizzt get past the initial emotional turmoil of the return of Zaknafein and his own struggles with reconciling the past and the present. There's also a double-standard here, for while Entreri is forced to change because enough time has gone by, Drizzt isn't. 

It really seems to be the message that the only characters that are good and valid need to be as close to Drizzt as possible, and this belief applied to Entreri has been the cause of the assassin's increasingly poor characterization. Entreri has become a "better person" by the narrator's approximation, a quality that is, yet again, not coincidentally synonymous to being an ally to the Companions of the Hall. Artemis Entreri may very well have become a better version of himself, but that is not, and should not be, becoming more like the Companions of the Hall. By whose definition is "a better person" anyway? By Drizzt's? By the Companions'? It's often the case that those that believe that they are the definition of what's right and define others' morality relative to themselves are the least qualified to do so. 

Eugenics

Although not as prominent as the two themes already mentioned, one final consistent problematic theme of Salvatore's in the Drizzt books that I'd like to discuss is the idea that mediocrity and excellence are inherited traits. Boundless reminds us yet again that all of the offspring of Rizzen are as unpromising as he is, and while it isn't specifically stated that all the offspring of Zaknafein is very much otherwise, we have over thirty books basically telling us that so it probably doesn't need to be repeated. While it is true that genetics do play a role in determining what makes up a person, genetics do not lock in guaranteed results. Yet, the undistinguished Rizzen sired "the mediocrity of Nalfein", and as though that insult wasn't bad enough, "His pants fell down, too. Again, and as expected, unimpressive." Dinin "would do Rizzen proud", but that's not saying a whole lot because it was in the context of the total failure of Nalfein. There's a further level of problematic theme here, for perpetuating the stereotype that a man's worth is at all related to the size of his genitalia. All of that aside, not everyone is privileged enough to be born to top specimens, and those that weren't inherently already have a struggle on their hands. They don't deserve to have the idea that they'll be mediocre no matter what perpetuated. Genetics might be what makes an individual, but what defines them is the actions that they take.

[thestupidhelmet]

Hi, I love your insight on Hyde and Jackie and I was wondering if you could analyze their whole date on JBH cause I don’t buy that they didn’t feel anything in that kiss (mostly Hyde, the way he rubbed his lips and he was really hesitating) and I want to understand what happened

Hi, and thank you!

I’ve written about “Jackie Bags Hyde” (3x08) a lot – in metas, in Those ‘70s Comics, and in fanfic. But it’s a key Jackie and Hyde episode, which reveals to us and to Hyde that he’s developed romantic feelings for Jackie and effectively ends their relationship development until “Going to California” (5x01).

The writers were clearly going for irony. After months of pursuing an uncooperative Hyde for his attention, friendship, and eventually romantic interest, Hyde’s the one who ends up with genuine feelings for her while her “fantasy feelings” fall away in the face of finally getting what she wants. I don’t think season 3′s showrunners or the episode’s writer, Dave Schiff, believed this thread would ever be picked up again, despite Hyde’s reaction to the kiss.

In-universe, Hyde obviously realizes he has romantic feelings for Jackie in “Jackie Bags Hyde”. His jealousy is evident when Jackie brings Chip to the Formans’ barbecue, as is his protectiveness toward her. He’s confused by his reaction to Chip calling Jackie a bitch, and one of my favorite parts of that scene is that Hyde glances at Jackie right before he slugs Chip. She’s talking to someone and smiling. In a split-second, all of Hyde’s positive perspective about her must have surfaced, standing in stark contrast to how disrespectful Chip spoke about her moments ago.

Chip seems to view Jackie as less than human, as just a “bitch” who exists only for his sexual pleasure. Although Jackie’s tendency to talk a lot does annoy Hyde – and  he shares a laugh over that tendency with Chip – he’s experienced a lot more of her personality than that since “Prom Night” (1x19). Hyde shares laughs about pretty much all the series’ main characters’ foibles (except Donna’s) with his friends and the Formans. And relieving some tension about his recent experiences with Jackie makes character sense. But Chip’s dehumanizing attitude about her trips a wire inside Hyde’s brain.

At the very least, Hyde is loyal to Jackie. He gets into a brawl with the guy who knocks Eric unconscious in “Grandma’s Dead” (1x23) to defends Eric’s honor. But once Jackie claims, “I am the bitch, and you love me!” he  doesn’t deny that. What he tells her with his, “Stop staring at me. Quit it! I’m not this guy. Oh, God,” is to stop idolizing him and viewing him as her knight in shining armor, that he’s no hero.

Right after this incident, however, he’s angry and confused and goes inside the Formans’ house to get away from what just happened. But Kitty, who witnessed it, calls Jackie his girlfriend. Hyde denies it, listing reasons why he doesn’t like her. His denial is crumbling but barely. He’s trying to convince himself why he doesn’t have romantic feelings for her. Kitty isn’t convinced, though, and then we get the line that epitomizes his confusion:

“No! How could I like her? Because I don’t like her! Because I can’t like her!”

The word can’t is the key. It’s like in Star Wars when Darth Vader says to Luke about being his father, “Search your feelings. You know it to be true,” and Luke screams, “No! Nooooooo!”

When Kitty confirms – again – that she believes Hyde has romantic feelings for Jackie, he trusts her opinion enough to test the theory. He doesn’t know how he feels because his mind and heart are in conflict. But punching Chip, going to jail for Jackie, teaching Jackie his main defense mechanism (i.e. his version of being Zen) – which essentially makes him vulnerable to her – all adds up to an equation he doesn’t know how to solve without going on a “freakin’ date” with Jackie.

As for the date, what we see of it begins with Jackie showing Hyde she doesn’t have to talk non-stop.

Jackie: This is the best date ever. Hyde: Jackie, we haven’t talked in thirty minutes.

This moment is very significant. The laugh Hyde had shared with Chip was over Jackie being a chatterbox. But Jackie’s just proven that not only can she not be a chatterbox, but she can also enjoy simply spending quiet time with someone (in nature, to boot). It’s no coincidence that this is our first glimpse into their first romantic outing, considering Chip’s disrespect with Jackie began with his complaints about her talking.

Afterward, Jackie demonstrates her awareness about his childhood wounding and offers him compassion for it. It’s too much for him to take. She hits too close to the mark, and he just doesn’t want to go there with her – or with anyone. So he makes fun of her insight as a way to invalidate it and as a way of deflecting the truth, the latter of which is one of his main self-defense mechanisms.

Jackie feels insulted, frustrated, and, perhaps, embarrassed by his reaction. She made herself vulnerable by reaching out to him, and he shut her out through light ridicule. This finally gets through her fantasies of who he is, unlike all his directly expressed rejections and nos and attempts to put up his boundaries. She hops off her dad’s Lincoln and says, fed up, “Let’s go home!”

The date is over, as far as she’s concerned. She also likely believes her romantic pursuit of him is over. But to quote him from season 5, he’s “liking her more and more” as their date progresses. Even though he doesn’t yet have the emotional wherewithal to confront and grieve the childhood wounding she identified, he’s enjoying her company. He’s enjoying learning more of who Jackie is outside of his long-held assumptions.

Hyde: Oh, come on. I’m kidding! No, this is, this is all right. We can hang out here for a while, okay? God…

He doesn’t want the date to end yet. He’s frustrated, as well, that she’s so hurt by his deflection. He’s only seventeen, and he’s also not the most emotionally aware person – as this episode has demonstrated thus far. But he has potential for his emotional awareness to grow, as this episode also demonstrates. Ideally, if their romantic relationship had begun with this date, he would’ve apologized (sooner rather than later) for that raspberry and (probably later) admitted she was spot-on in her analysis of him.

Jackie receives the message that Hyde wants the date to continue, that he wants to spend time with her, and she rejoins him on the trunk of her dad’s car. He offers her “some of his pop,” which is more like the “sweetest, coolest” Hyde she’s experienced (side note: him offering Jackie his soda stands in stark contrast to him being totally socially inept during his time with Melissa in “Hyde Gets the Girl” [4x04]).

She moves closer to him and puts his arm around her shoulders. He doesn’t fight it. He accepts it reluctantly, which is a huge change and huge signal to her. In “Reefer Madness” (3x01), she forces her touch on him in ways he doesn’t want and fights off (e.g., holding her hand with laced fingers, hugging him from behind, etc.) Despite that his discomfort is visible on his face, he doesn’t withdraw from her. He tries out how physical (not sexual) intimacy feels with her.

Time passes. We aren’t told how much. But Jackie and Hyde are now sitting on the hood of the Lincoln. The car’s front doors are open, and the radio’s on, tuned to a station playing romantic music. Hyde’s denim jacket covers Jackie’s shoulders, and we have no idea what happened between them moving from the car’s trunk to its hood.

We can, however, infer what might’ve happened. Hyde asks if she wants to put some music on. She says, “Sure,” and tells him what station to put on. He’s not too happy about her choice, but he tunes it to her preference anyway. She asks him to dance. He’s already sat with his arm around her shoulders, so he figures, “What the hell?” They share a dance, which leads them to the hood of the car.

They hop up onto the hood, and she’s shivering. Without a word, he puts his denim jacket around her shoulders, and they share some more silent stargazing time.

Then we get to the next on-screen part of their date.

Jackie announces (for the audience) that her and Hyde’s first date is almost over, and she asks what Hyde thinks of it. He says, “It was no worse than bowling.” She’s confused by his answer, so he clarifies: “I don’t hate bowling.”

The word hate is the key. In the earlier scene with Kitty, Hyde says Jackie is everything he hates. Kitty says, “But, Steven, you hate everything.” This episode is full of plants (i.e.foreshadowing) and payoffs. Hyde, who supposedly “hates everything” says he doesn’t hate bowling and says the date with Jackie is no worse than an activity he doesn’t hate. This is his roundabout, deflecting way of saying he’s enjoying himself.

On his date.

With Jackie.

Hyde is a character who is mostly subtext (which is a big reason I love writing him in fanfic). Earlier in the episode, Jackie proves she can read between his lines – specifically when she correctly assesses the not-so-aloof tone that accompanies his aloof words about dating Chip as indicating jealousy.

Hyde’s in trouble, all right. For someone who uses aloofness and deflection as a defense mechanism, he shouldn’t have taught Jackie this fact about himself directly and indirectly.

Jackie and Hyde go in for a kiss at the same time, and it’s much more than a peck. But Jackie withdraws, surprised that she didn’t feel anything emotionally. Physically, the kiss is “hot,” but she isn’t emotionally engaged. If Jackie and Hyde’s sexual / romantic relationship hadn’t begun in earnest the summer between season 4 and season 5 (and on-screen in “Going to California” [5x01]), we’d have to accept her reaction at face value. As I stated above, the episode’s conclusion was written for irony. But within the whole context of the series and their relationship, one can reasonably interpret subtext into her response.

Personally, I believe Jackie is scared of how kissing Hyde makes her feel. Throughout the date, she becomes clear-eyed about Hyde not being a fantasy hero who will weep at her insight but a real person. Someone who might disappoint her. Who will need patience and persistence to break through his emotional barriers. Basically, she isn’t ready for a complex relationship that could potentially break through her own emotional barriers and allow her to connect to someone that intimately (not to mention the amount of work such relationship requires from both partners).

Hyde’s reaction to the kiss and to Jackie’s reaction to the kiss is easy to interpret.

Jackie: Huh. Okay, I didn’t feel anything. Hyde: Nothing?

He’s surprised and confused that she has no romantic feelings for him – especially since she claimed the opposite for so long, said she loved him, and claimed she and Hyde were “in love” to her their friends.

Jackie: No, I mean the kiss was hot, but … well, did you feel something?Hyde: Uh … no.Well? … No.

His, “Uh…” indicates he’s thinking about whether or not to answer truthfully. The expression on his face also shows how confused he is by her response and how conflicted he is about telling her the truth. He’s Mr. Deflect-the-Truth, after all. And if Jackie feels nothing romantic/emotional for him, there’s no way in hell he’s going to admit that he does.

But he almost does. His, “Well?” is a moment of doubt about not revealing his feelings. He ultimately decides, however, the safer choice is to lie, so he says, “No,” again, this time more definitively.

As Jackie glances down, sad about the fact her potential new romance is dead in the water, Hyde touches his lips and is in a world of hurt and disappointment he hadn’t expected. He’s clearly unhappy with the outcome of the date. He’s realized he has romantic feelings for Jackie, only for her not to reciprocate them. It reminds me of the following lyric in Mother Love Bone’s Song “Crown of Thorns”.

I want to tell you that I love you / But does it really matter?

He can’t force Jackie to feel differently, just as she couldn’t force him to fall in love with her. He started doing that on his own. This is also not the Hyde of season 1 (before “Prom Night”) who forced himself on Donna despite her repeated nos and rejection of his romantic advances.

Jackie:  So I guess that’s it, then. Turns out you were right about us all along.

This line makes the subtext of irony text. Hyde’s now left with romantic feelings that the consequences of Jackie’s pursuit of him inspired (by consequences, I mean her pursuit forced / allowed him to experience more of who Jackie truly is than simply Kelso’s obnoxious, snobby, and controlling girlfriend). 

Hyde: Yep.Jackie: So what happens now? Hyde: I’m not opposed to doing it.

Hyde’s already decided to hide the truth of his feelings from her, but he reveals them to us through his joke: “I’m not opposed to doing it.” Hyde – who supposedly hated Jackie, who couldn’t stand her, who didn’t want her to kiss him in “Kelso’s Serenade” (2x21) because he doesn’t like her and finds her abrasive – said he wouldn’t be opposed to having sex with her.

Because a girl being “hot” isn’t enough for him. Just like their kiss being hot isn’t enough for her. He needs to attracted to a girl’s personality to want to engage with her sexually. And he’s now told us he likes Jackie’s personality enough to have a physical relationship with her.

Yes, it’s all very twisty-turny, but that’s Hyde’s psychology.

Jackie doesn’t take his statement seriously, though. Smiling, amused and a little disturbed, she calls him a pig and tells him to take her home. He smiles back and says, “Yes, dear,” and guides her into the car.

This final interaction between them in the episode is very similar in tone to their season 4 relationship. He doesn’t so much burn her as tease her, and they seem much more comfortable with each other, in general. For more on that, please read this meta I wrote about their season 4 relationship.

I wrote a fanfic exploring what might’ve happened if Hyde had made a different choice during this episode.

One Difference: Hyde Doesn’t Lie [FFnet / AO3]

Summary: Hyde tells Jackie the truth about their Veteran’s Day kiss, but his choice alters their relationship — and the lives around them.

Rated: T

[go-diane-winchester]

How can Wincest fans be against the idea of Dean being bisexual even though they pair him with Sam?  They are both men after all.

@sage-speight-trickster-jr​  Thank you very much for going through all the trouble of unblocking me just to ask this question.  Although, I have answered the question before, it seems that the answer was not circulated amongst the destiel shippers and the destihellers.  If you could kindly facilitate for me, I would appreciate that, because it would mean not having to answer the question again in the future.  I would also like to be very thorough in this answer so please bear with me. 

Just to clarify, I am not a Wincest fan, however as sage pointed out, I approve of it and that is because they haven't [to my knowledge] shown any form of aggression and violent intent towards my boys or even Misha for that matter.  I have been told by hellers that ''evil bibros'' threaten Misha, but when asked for receipts, the claimants disappear.  It happens every time like clockwork.     

Jensen Ackles, that ''uptight homophobe'' who hates anything destiel-related, was very eloquent about Wincest, when he was asked about it years ago: 

Jensen might have not realized this but he understands slash fiction more than he thinks.  Slash fiction, like bara etc, fall under the category of fan fiction.  Slash is a more intimate form of fan fiction because it has to do with the slash fan rather than the pairing.  There are personal factors that destiel fans don’t consider.  These factors were second nature to Wincest fans, because Wincest is a classic slash ship, and it followed the rules of classic slash.  What's more, no external person interfered with this ship and it therefore remained true to itself.  And Jensen, somehow, just understood these factors.  Wincest fans and Jensen are both in agreement as to what Wincest is supposed to be.  It is fiction.  It is a hot fantasy.  As Jensen said, Wincest fans don't think Dean and Sam are gay.  This is where the factors come into play and why destiel shippers get it wrong.

Slash is born from love

In order to ship a pairing, you have to like both people in the pairing.  Wincest fans understand that not everyone is going to think Sam and Dean are a sexual turn-on.  It might shock some people to realize, that there is someone in the world, who thinks Jensen, for example, is an ugly pig-of-a-face.  He might be sexually offputting to this person, for some reason.  So a person like this won't ship Jensen with anyone.  Why would you ship someone who doesn't turn you on?  Sometimes one of the pairing might look like a relative, or a former sexual harasser, or an enemy the shipper hates from where she works.  It is therefore, understandable, that the shipper will not have a single sexual thought about that guy.   It happens. 

If someone has that opinion about Jared for example, they wont like Wincest, J2, Mishalecki, Sastiel, Sabriel, Sevin or any other pairing Jared and Sam are a part of.  Sometimes, the shipper might like one person too much and not care about anyone else.  Nobody is good enough for her boy, but since slash fiction makes her happy, she slashes him with himself.  I have seen Jensen, Jason Teague, Alec and Dean Winchester all slashed in very imaginative pairings.  That is like a four-cheese pizza for someone who is crazy about fromage, and a puke-fest for someone who hates cheese.  

There might be other reasons why a slash fan wont be attracted be a guy.  She might not like what she considers to be Jensen's grumpy unfriendliness.  Maybe she just doesn't like Jared's long, floppy hair.  All the above apply to Misha as well.  They may not like his looks, his verbosity, the way he dresses.  The reasons are varied.  Not everyone is going to be attracted to the same guys.  If one part of the pairing is blergh! to the shipper, the shipper is not going to like the pairing.  Wincest fans recognize that everyone watches the show for different reasons.  Some fans watch the show for the paranormal element, not to ogle the boys and their epic chemistry.   

So wincest shippers don't force their ship on others.  I have been approached by fans who said they entered Supernatural via the destiel door, because the hellers seem to recruit shippers, but when they watched the show, they found Sam and Dean had more appealing and stronger chemistry and that Destiel didn't seem to cause a blip in the radar.  They aren't right.  They aren't wrong.  They are merely giving their opinion.  Wincest fans understand slash fiction.  They understand that slash is based on  love for both characters.  That is the first and foremost requirement.  If the shipper don't love either of the boys, the ship is not happening.  Some fans like Dean and Sam and Cas, and so we have Wincestial.  This is what Wincest shippers understand and destiel shippers don't.

Slash is a personal expression of love. 

You can’t force it on anyone.  Destiel won’t be for everyone because some people might not like Dean for some reason.  Or they might not like Cas.  In either of the scenarios, Destiel will be an offputting thing.  They wont like destiel, because it doesn't turn them on.  Wincest fans understand that some people may not find wincest appealing, not because of the fraternal thing but because of their own opinion on the characters.  Some fans might think that Dean is too smothering and possessive of Sam.  Some fans might think that Sam is too indifferent and ungrateful of Dean.  Neither are wrong in their opinions.  That is how they interpret the story.  If a fan has these thoughts and just cant stand one of the brothers, they won't like Wincest.  This is the most common sense thing about slash fiction that Destiel fans don't seem to understand.

Slash is unique and changes from person to person.

Even amongst the wincest fans, how they love wincest is different.  Some of them enthusiastically slash Smith and Wesson, so they can bypass the incestual [a word I learned from Jensen] thing and still have their boys.  Some fans go through all the trouble of writing a story where [for example] John kills Azazel and wants his boys off the road and in a home, only to realize that Sam was one of Azazel's psychic kids and not his own child.  And Dean has to take Sam and escape so Gordon and other hunters can't find Sam.  Of course, the entire story is written just to facilitate the idea that Sam and Dean are not brothers and therefore can fall in love. 

Some fans don't care about dealing with the brother thing, and just barrel on through the story with terrific indifference.  The point is that, because they have such scattered points of views on what their ideal Wincest scenario is, they don't force the idea on others, especially the studio.  They understand that what is appealing to one wincest fan is not going to be appealing to another.  They understand that SPN cant please everyone.  So they ask for nothing.  And in an individual's fantasies, Dean and Sam can swing whichever way the slash fan wants.  

Fantasy is not about realism.  It is escapist.

Hence, the use of the word fantasy.  In fact, Jensen's analysis of Wincest ties in, with my definition of slash fiction, which is: 

It is an escapist, fantastical platform for female sexual expression, by women for women, about male subjects in a romantic setting.

I understand there are other definitions, but this one corresponds with straight and bi women.  I have seen destiel fans scoff at this definition but not give me a reason why.  The ABO trope and mpreg are proof of this.  Sam and Dean are not part of a wolf pack.  That is unrealistic.  But it is a fun little fantasy, for those who like that sort of thing.  Sometimes they aren't even men.  They get gender swapped for fun, by people who like gender swapping. 

Wincest fans don't disrespect canon. If its canon, they [like any other levelheaded fan] will respect it.  I count some destiel fans [not destihellers] amongst the levelheaded fans.  Wincest fans don't clash with canon or write reams of meta about how the canon should be interpreted.  They understand that subtext differs according to an individual's wants, desires and prejudices.  You can't convince others that there is subtext in a particular scene.  They have to find it themselves.  Of course, you can present your subtext, but tagging it in the main tags is equal to forcing the subtext on other people.  And that is wrong.   I get too many complaints about that.

Remember, if you present your subtext, meta and headcanon like it is fact, you are misleading people.  If someone disagrees with you because you are presenting the aforementioned as fact, it is not because they hate your ship.  It is because you are saying something that is based purely on your opinion, and some spectacularly gullible and horny young person is going to harass Jensen with this.  Take for example, the Dr Sexy question.  It was born as a headcanon.  Because nobody questioned it, one impressionable creature thought that it has to be the gospel truth.  I mean, no one was cross-examining the points put forward.  The only people complaining were those ''homophobic'' bibros who found it in the main tags.

This kid probably thought ''aha, I got him now'' when she asked the question to Jensen.  Why do you need to ''get'' him?  Why does he have to approve of your opinion?  If the headcanon had been opened to interpretation, that ignorant kid would have never made a fool of herself and her ship.  Jensen would not have to point out that a male fan of another man doesn't necessarily want to sleep with him.  This is common sense, but it escaped the kid.  I wager that some heller reading the question directed to me probably said ''aha, sage has got her now''.  I wonder if they will stick around to read the whole answer.  Remember, if you are presenting your subtext to like-minded people and only getting applaud, it doesn't give credulity to the subtext.   

According to canon, Dean says to Hendrickson ''You kinky SOB, we don't swing that way'' referring to both him and Sam.  Now, it would be fun to argue that this statement is presumptuousness on Dean's part, but we keep that fun argument to ourselves.  In fact, I did a post on that same topic, purely for fun, because I came across the topic.  Even then, I pointed out that it is a fun little discourse, and not a topic to harass Jared with.  After all, he didn't write the post.  We don't tweet the CW execs and demand to know why Sam doesn't have a boyfriend yet, preferably someone who is part of our fanon ship. 

We also don't violate Jared's personal space at cons, with entitled questions regarding Sam's sexuality because both Jared and Jensen have explicitly asked that the cons should be family-friendly and therefore shipping and sexuality questions should not be asked.  They also don't want to give the impression that SPN is about ships.  They are not queer baiting at all, just doing their jobs with honesty.  Wincest fans love the boys and acknowledge that forcing Wincest will make the boy uncomfortable.   Not only is it ethically wrong to force something sexual on other people, especially two friends, because it might hurt that friendship.  It  will definitely make the boys hate them and they don't want that. 

That is one big reason, I respect the Wincest fans.  They don't sexually violate the boys with their fantasies.  And yes they do consider asking prying questions about shipping to Jensen and forcing him to sign NSFW art at autos as a form of sexual violation.  A woman would be protected from this, but because Jensen is a man,[a straight, white one no less], who cares about his dignity, right?  If he speaks up for himself, he's a homophobe.  And before you call me a white racist for saying that, understand that I am a Muslim South African of Indian descent. 

Wincest fans don't use representation as an excuse for badgering the boys or the cast and crew.  I know of fans [both Wincest and neutral] who are LGBT and who resent that the LGBT are being used as a means to harass Jensen into accepting a fanon ship.  We all agree that the LGBT is being used as an excuse.  It always surprises me how Jensen and the Wincest fans, get each other.  They both agree on what Wincest is. Wincest fans understand that wincest was born in their fantasies. Jensen agrees with that.  Wincest fans agree that the boys are straight in canon.  Jensen agrees with that.  There is an understanding between the leads and their fans.  An understanding between the fan and No. 5 on the call sheet, doesn't mean destiel is going to be canon.

Wincest fans won't demand canon wincest for the following reasons:

According to canon, the boys are straight.  Wincest fans value the text, over the subtext.  They don't look at shirt colors, blocking, parallels etc.  If the character says he is straight, forcing the writers to change that, to feed you kink, is wrong.  So the wincest fans don't do that.  They just enjoy how sexy Dean and Sam [Jared and Jensen] are together and use them as inspiration for an awesome love story.  They understand that interpretation changes from person to person.  Not everyone is going to see things the same way.  

It might shock you to know that some wincest fans are actually against incest and find the idea of it being endorsed on screen unethical.  It may not bother Jensen [he like Game of Thrones after all] but it sure as heck bothers some of his wincest fans.  Its safe as a fantasy, but they would prefer not to see that ethical tug of war happen on screen. 

The show can't fulfill every subsection's fantasy.  There are many fantasies flying around in fandom, and pleasing everyone is not feasible Wincest fans are aware of that because it is common sense.  That is why some people consider hellers to be selfish.  They only care about their fantasy and not the integrity and longevity of the show.  Why would a business please one subsection and put off everyone else.  It is best to remain neutral.  That makes good business sense.  SPN has done that and lasted 14 years.  So they wont change it now.  Just think about that.  If it aint broke, don't fix it.  Wincest fans understand that some people like shipping, some don't but keep their opinions to themselves whilst other hate it and are vocal about their disgust.  Everyone likes Sam and Dean for different reasons.  Its not always sexual.  One fan said she [I think it was a she] wanted Sam and Dean to be her big brothers so that they could go to her school and beat up all the bullies who beat her up.  Side note:  the institution of schooling should be banned.  It is a social torture device.

Wincest fans don't treat the boys like sex toys.  They don't ask for intimate poses during photo ops.  They treat their boys with respect.  And I think the relationship has become reciprocal between the boys and their Wincest fans.  It is a 14 year marriage that has never had much upheaval because it is not a relationship based on coercion.  Jensen doesn't shoot the wincest fans down for their fantasies, and recently even said I love you to Sam in canon.  Dean has canonically said I love you only twice: once to Mary, but that was also coupled with I hate you.  Wincest fans are not screeching at CW about it.  They enjoyed the moment and moved on. 

This is a nice segue into headcanons.  Headcanons are fun if you treat them as such, but you need to understand that every headcanon is opinion-based and can be argued away.  Even Wincest ones.  Wincest fans don't use their headcanons that they cooked up in their minds, as a pro-Wincest argument for the boys to fight against.  That would be like saying ''how can you not agree with the thoughts in my head''.  One headcanon that many Destiel fans have, is that destiel is canon, because of the scrapped I love you in the Crypt episode.  They don't seem to understand that the fact that Jensen forcefully scrapped the line, actually proves the opposite.  

Jensen doesn't want canon destiel.  He removed the line without any consultation with writers.  But he didn't remove the I love line in the new episode, which was directed at Sam.  Why is that?  Why didn't Jensen scrap that line?  Maybe it has to do with the fact that, when Destiel fans threaten to kill him, wincest fans try to fight them off and protect Jensen.  It has nothing to do with canon or fanon.  It has to do with your overall entitled behavior.  Jensen would prefer not to hear about shipping.  He has no real emotional stake is shipping.  His opinion on ships is basely purely on how the shippers behave.  And Wincest shippers don't behave aggressively. 

The difference between how Jensen handles the wincest fans and how Misha handles the destiel fans is quite stark.  Jensen, even in the above monologue about wincest, does not encourage Wincest fans.  However, whilst letting them know his opinion on shipping, he doesn't discourage them either opting to say  ''But that is why its called fiction''.  Jensen is extremely neutral, diplomatic and I have to say, extremely intelligent.  Its his way of telling the fans ''have your fun, but don't ask me about it''.  The wincest fans listened and have kept their fantasies and headcanons to themselves for 14 years.  They didn't interpret his words on a direct instruction to them.  He said it.  They did it.  That's it.   

Misha does the complete opposite.  He was instructed not to tell anyone about the scrapped line because the crew knows what the destiel fans are like.  Misha still made sure he said it, even telling people ''I am not supposed to tell you this''.  Because he didn't respect an instruction given to him, Jensen got ambushed and abused for it online.  Misha did that to keep his destiel audience, but he alienated everyone else.  Not a smart person, because he is putting off potential fans of his who might not like shipping.  

He doesn't realize that not every fan likes slash fiction and that not everyone is watching Supernatural for slash reasons.  They just like the show as is.  It also shows how little he cares for his co-worker's well being because he didn't think twice before throwing Jensen under the bus.  Misha is one reason, people don't like Destiel.  They don't like the guy that plays Cas.  There may be other factors.  But that one stands out the most. I know that there was repetitiveness in this post, but I hope it answers the question as thoroughly as possible.   

[ficbynic]

ALL COMING BACK TO ME - FINAL PART VII

♫ If you touch me like this  And when you hold me like that  It was gone with the wind but it's all coming back to me  When you see me like this  And when I see you like that  Then we see what we want to see all coming back to me  The flesh and the fantasies all coming back to me  I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now

Story page | Author | Talk to me | Read on Tumblr only |

All Coming Back to Me is the sequel to Take Care. Read Take Care here.

Emilie woke up slightly confused. Not only by her outfit, but also by her hair spread around, probably all tangled up, and the fact that the white pillow case now had a stain of red lipstick on it. Little by little, everything started making sense and Emilie realised that the last thing she remembered was falling asleep on the sofa downstairs. She was glad she hadn't opted for a heavy smoky eye the previous night, which would have definitely resulted in a swollen eye. "Morning," sounded from next to her, Harry beaming at her sleepy state, reaching out once he saw she woke up. "Hey," she muttered out, a smile soon creeping across her face when her hands touched the soft fabric of the joggers she was wearing, "I don't remember putting these on." He grinned. "Slept well?" She nodded and turned towards him, running her hand along his torso, stopping herself before she got too invested. "I need to shower." When she returned from the en-suite, Harry was still in bed, his phone in hand, just relaxing. He looked as cosy as ever, so Emilie couldn't keep herself from joining him in bed again. Crawling up against him, his body was warm against hers. Harry immediately eased into her, burying his face in the crook of her neck, enjoying her soft skin and fresh scent. The side of her face was lazily pressed against his chest when he eventually spoke up. "Em, I- I..." "Mm?" "I..." "You what?" She looked up with a smile on her face, almost mocking him. He sighed. "I just wanted to say again that I really enjoyed last night. It was very nice." She giggled. "Aw, me too, babe. I'm sorry I fell asleep, though." "That's okay," he quickly responded, moving his upper half a bit. It was the first time since last year she'd called him that. His body temperature was rising. He managed to conceal it, though. "What about some breakfast downstairs?" ~~ After a rather extensive breakfast, Emilie offered to tidy up the kitchen. When she returned to the lounge, she found Harry on his phone, a smirk plastered on his face. "Let's have a bit of a laugh." "What does that mean?" she asked, frowning her eyebrows, taking the seat next to him on the sofa. With a grin, Harry seemed to dial a number and put the device to his ear. Emilie heard it ring, before making out a female voice on the other end, answering. "Hey Gem," Harry replied. Gemma. His sister. Emilie wondered why he was calling her now, as she listened to them talk. The volume was high enough for Emilie to overhear everything. "So when are you coming 'round some time?" Harry asked after a while. "When am I what?" "Coming 'round? Visiting me?" he clarified, before another smirk appeared on his face, "'Cos I'd like you to meet my girlfriend." "Your what?" Gemma sounded. "Your what?" Emilie repeated in a frantic whisper next to him. She could hardly contain the smile on her face caused by the twinkle in Harry's eyes as he looked at her. "What are you on about, Harry, don't tell me you're rushing into things way too quickly with someone new." Emilie smiled, amused by Harry's sister's concern. "I'm not, no, it's... It's Emilie," he tried to explain. "It's who?" "Emily," Harry changed the pronunciation. "What, the Danish girl?" Emilie's heart skipped a beat and Harry confirmed. "What? How- When did this happen?" Harry laughed. "She came back. We, uh, we worked things out." He looked over to Emilie and her heart skipped another beat. "God, you two have a lot to explain. When can we meet her?" Emilie had to walk off, it was becoming a bit too weird. A fresh cup of tea was a great excuse to get away from the lounge and have a minute in the kitchen, letting Harry finish his bizarre phone call with his sister. She returned when Harry ended the phone call, a sheepish smile on his face.   "Now let's ring my Mum." He continued going through his phone, welcoming Emilie on the sofa closely beside him. "Would you mind FaceTiming her?" Emilie's eyes went wide. "I'm not... properly dressed. I'm not wearing makeup or anything." "And you look wonderful," he argued, already dialling the number. Emilie just went with it and again watched and listened to Harry saying hi to his Mum, asking how she was doing, before turning to introduce Emilie. "There's someone here I'd like you to meet," he started, adjusting the phone and the front camera. Emilie smiled and awkwardly waved to it. "Oh! Hi there! It's so nice to see you," Harry's mum sounded excitedly. "Hi! It's nice to see you, too, I'm Emilie! If I knew Harry would be videoing me, I would've put in a bit more effort!" "Oh, stop," she heard coming from her left. "Well, you look beautiful from what I can see," Anne let out, her voice sounding weirdly recognisable to Emilie. She figured it must've been the accent she knew from Harry. The three of them had some small talk, Anne asking a bit about Emilie's stay in London so far. Fortunately, Harry knew it probably wasn't best to drag out the conversation via FaceTime, so the call was ended relatively quickly. "So..." Emilie started when he put away his phone. "So?" "Am I your girlfriend?" Harry laughed, amused at Emilie's reaction to what he'd done. "Only if you want to be," he then said sincerely, "I mean... I'd be the luckiest person in the world." Butterflies started fluttering in Emilie's stomach. "So that makes you my boyfriend now, huh?" She played with his fingers before intertwining hers with his, holding his hand and squeezing it. "Sounds hot," she added. Harry laughed. "Does it?" "Boyfriend," Emilie repeated, smiling. "What's the Danish word?" "Kæreste." "And girlfriend?" "It's the same. We have one word," Emilie explained, "It could be translated as... Dearest." "Wow." A smile appeared on Harry's face. "That's... amazing." He closed the distance between them, his tongue instantly finding its way to play with hers. It all felt so safe and familiar, as if this was all they had ever done in life. Emilie craved him the second he broke the kiss, wanting him closer, wanting his touch, his scent, his love. It was Harry. It had always been Harry. And it would always be Harry. "You're my dearest," he let out in a whisper. ~~ Emilie made her way back to the Ainsley's that evening to spend a bit more time with the family, as she could see herself going back to Harry's for the weekend and spending most of the time that was left with him. They spent the afternoon baking chocolate chip cookies and Emilie'd scoffed when she found out the recipe explicitly mentioned they were meant to be organic. She'd then simply laughed when finding out Harry actually had all of the organic ingredients in the cupboards of his kitchen. They didn't even need to head out to get any from the store. The day seemed to have rushed by when all of a sudden, it was dark outside. In the evening, Harry cooked dinner and they settled down on the sofa, relaxing in each other's arms when at around nine o'clock, Harry disappeared for a bit. When he came back, he leant across the back of the sofa to kiss Emilie's cheek and she immediately noticed his amazing smell. "You wanna go upstairs?" Emilie took his hand and followed as he led her to his bedroom. When she stood in the doorway, she had to blink a couple of times. "What's all of this!?" A bunch of candles were lit on both nightstands and the cabinet of drawers to the right. It left the room looking cosy and inviting, almost as if covered in a mystic glow. The scents of the candles spread around the space wonderfully and music seemed to play in the far distance. Instead of answering, Harry took in the surprised look on her face and smiled. He stepped in and kissed her, walking the two of them towards the bed. Emilie knew where this was going and happily helped Harry getting rid of the clothes covering her body. Her hands went up to get him out of the jumper he wore and soon enough, they were both stood in silence wearing just their underwear. Letting him know she was more than ready, Emilie was the first to remove the final pieces of attire. Her bra landed on the floor with a light thud. She then stepped out of her lacy knickers. For the first time since last year, she was standing in front of him butt naked. Harry smiled and wrapped his arms around her, lifting her to lie on the softness of the duvet. His mouth seemed to be locked to her neck, as his hands wandered. Emilie meanwhile reached down to remove the elastic band of the black Calvin's from his hips. He was already hard and the sight of it made her breath hitch. She closed her eyes in pleasure as Harry left kisses as he went down her nude body, ultimately placing his lips near her centre. He teased her with a stroke of his tongue, feeling she was more than sufficiently wet. Reaching for the nightstand's drawer, he grabbed a condom before he quickly returned and put it on in savvy, swift motions. Emilie smiled. It was finally going to happen. Hovering over her, Harry's eyes were soft as they met hers. "You're still the most gorgeous girl I ever met," he let out, and Emilie remembered those exact same words from last year. And she still believed him. They kissed again and Harry managed to spread Emilie's legs, the touch of his fingers on her inner thigh already making her skin tingle. Eventually, he slowly entered her. The size of him blew Emilie's mind. She'd often fantasised about this moment and thought about what sex with Harry would be like. She'd been intimate with him before plenty of times and thought the feeling would be similar, but this felt even more sensational than she could've imagined. "I waited... a... year for this," he let out in shaky breaths, not breaking eye contact. He gently pulled in and out, finding a nice rhythm. "You're so amazing." He continued kissing all kinds of parts of Emilie's body while making her let out deep sighs of pleasure. After a while, he increased the speed of his movements and rolled his hips further up, leaving Emilie breathless. "Oh, shit," she gasped, arching her back. "Tha's your spot?" Harry noted, "Right there, babe?" He hit it again and Emilie moaned in pleasure. It didn't take long for them both to climax, Harry groaning and crashing onto Emilie, his back feeling clammy. After a while, he removed himself from Emilie's body and relocated to his side of the bed. "That was... amazing," he managed to tell her, still breathing heavily, "Em. That was amazing. You're... You're amazing," he rambled. Emilie smiled, in utter bliss. Looking at him, the guy she fell for, she'd never felt this happy. Everything felt perfect. Harry was her boyfriend. They were dating. And he was right. They were gonna make it work. ~~ Two days. They had two days left. Two days until Emilie's flight back to Denmark. Harry knew they'd come so far. He still couldn't believe how lucky he'd been to have Emilie finding her way back to him. How lucky he currently was lying in bed with her, the sun creeping through the curtains on a crisp cold Sunday morning. She was awake, as well. She'd already turned around and pressed her lips to his as a way to say good morning. Her sleepy eyes had closed again as she found comfort in his arms, her back pressed against his front. She didn't seem to have any plans getting out of bed any time soon. And Harry loved it that way, yet... "Em, there's something you should probably know..." "Oh, God. What now?" she groaned, pulling his arm around her tighter. "I... My Mum's on her way to come over." "Oh, my God. Like, now?" "We still have some time. She'll be round at like eleven. Noon maybe." "She's driving all the way down here?!" Emilie turned around, now facing him. "I might've told her you were only here for a few more days and she didn't want to miss out on meeting you. So... yeah." As if reacting reflexively, Emilie pushed away the duvet, and got out of bed. "What're you doing?" he whined, immediately regretting his decision to tell her, wishing he'd kept the information to himself for another half hour. It was only early. "Shower." "You showered late last night?" "I didn't wash my hair," Emilie clarified, her hand going up to her roots. "It looks fine," he objected again, "Besides, you don't need to impress her or anything. Trust me. I reckon when it comes to you and me, she's probably on your team instead of mine." Emilie sighed and tilted her head. "Come lie in bed with me," he pouted. With a groan, she gave in, finding the sight of him irresistible. They ended up getting out of bed at around ten after Emilie insisted she wanted to take some time getting ready. Not long after, they were sitting downstairs and got the notification someone opened the gate right before a cute car made its way onto the driveway. From the get go, things felt natural and at ease when Anne Twist arrived. Emilie smiled as Harry hugged her tightly after opening the front door, the hug not seeming to end. Emilie understood why when she was greeted with a lovely embrace, as well. "I just had to meet you before you leave," Anne gushed, "I'm sorry for probably invading your precious time together." "Oh, no, not at all!" Emilie ensured, although she saw Harry raising his eyebrows and pulling a weird face in the corner of her eye. His Mum laughed and poked her son in the ribs. The three of them moved to the dining table, where Emilie and Anne sat down as Harry turned to the kitchen to put the kettle on. Because of the noise it made, he was unable to overhead the ongoing conversation. "I'm so happy to finally meet you," Anne confessed, "I wish we could've met sooner, but... Well." Oh, gosh. She was going to address it. "You have no idea how we all told him off over Christmas last year," Anne leant in and told Emilie, "It wasn't pretty. But then again, he knew he'd made a mistake and he was sad about it, so we couldn't really keep rubbing it in his face, poor boy." Emilie started fidgeting, her right thumbnail pushing back the cuticle of the left one, not really knowing what to say. She knew Harry was really close to his Mum and she knew he'd probably told Anne a lot about her, but she didn't expect to get more inside information about Harry's side of the story by meeting Anne. "He told me about you the day you two met!" Emilie looked up wide-eyed. That was a surprise. "He did?" Anne nodded. "He called me in the evening, telling me he ran into a girl at the park he immediately recognised. He thought he'd never see you again, but there you were, and he couldn't believe it. Actually gave him the extra bit of courage to talk to you." Emilie didn't know what she meant, but wasn't given the chance to ask any questions. "It'd be impossible to count the amount of conversations we've had about you," Anne went on, "About you and him. I mean, he was... gutted. Harry, he'd wanted to, but- He didn't want to risk it. He thought... Well." "I know." "You're so strong," Anne complimented, "Coming back here. I know it must've taken a lot, knowing he was the one who did you wrong." "It definitely wasn't easy. I was just... It just happened. I wasn't planning on anything to happen, but... Before I knew it I was ringing the door bell." A sweet smile appeared on Anne's face. "Speaking of, have a look at this. I took a screenshot and everything." Emilie was handed her phone after Anne found the correct image on her camera roll. It took a while for it to register that she was looking at text messages exchanged between mother and son. Mum. You won't believe this!                Hi honey, what's happening? Emilie's here!!!                Oh wow! She's staying with her host family for a bit, suddenly showed up at my door, I had no clue. I'm so confused.                Well, stop texting me if she's right there! "There's more." Anne swiped to the next screen grabbed picture when she noticed Emilie finished reading.             She's in the bathroom now.                Talk things out, okay? Explain everything. You're very lucky she came back to you. I know.                We've talked so much about this. Now you've got a chance to make things right. I'm trying. She's about to come back, gotta go.                Alright, I'll call you tomorrow. Okay, speak soon x With wide eyes, still taking everything in, Emilie handed the phone back to its owner who let out a huge sigh. "He really cares a lot about you, I know that," she said, putting it away in her bag. "I care a lot about him, too." Another motherly, kind smile. "It's so lovely to meet you, Em. By the way, is it alright to call you Em? It's just that Harry's told me about the pronunciation of your name and I'd rather get it right than use some English version of it." "Em is fine," Emilie chuckled, still perplexed about it all. "Bloody hell. She's not already telling you embarrassing stories about me, is she?" Harry appeared from the kitchen carrying a tray with mugs of tea. "What's so funny?" "Nothing, Love," his Mum replied without missing a beat, shooting Emilie a wink after which only more laughter erupted. They had brews and biscuits before heading out to have a walk and grab lunch at a nice pub near the East end of the Heath Emilie didn't know and never visited. They were back at the house at around four in the afternoon, before Anne decided on leaving. She'd arranged to pay her daughter a visit next, who apparently was in town, as well. "I'll see you soon." She kissed Harry on his cheek while saying goodbye. "And you, too," she turned to Emilie, whose heart grew twice in size. ~~ "Harry?" "Mmhm?" he answered, yet it was obvious he wasn't paying much attention. He was too busy driving Emilie mad with kisses. They'd been lying on the sofa for about an hour now, after having had dinner. They put on a film but much of it went by unnoticed, Harry's pecks going from her lips to her neck, down to her collar bones before returning to her lips. He'd forever blame himself for the months and months worth of kisses he deprived himself of by turning away from her. "Harry, I-" "I love you, Em," he interrupted her. His eyes went big, suddenly unsure if this was the right moment to tell her. He had a feeling she was going to say something similar and he didn't want her to be the first one to tell him. So that's why he spoke up. Emilie was silent for a few seconds. Then, a smile appeared on her face. "You do?" "I do," Harry told her, "I really, really do. I think I already did last year. I just... I hate how everything went to shit and how we lost time, but..." He shook his head a couple times, as if to get rid of bad memories. "I love you." Emilie looked away, her fingers brushing past his shoulders, hands travelling down his arms. "And what happens when I leave?" she asked, avoiding eye contact. "Babe, I..." Harry sighed, "I get that it's difficult. I get that I still need to earn back your trust. All I know is that I'm in love with you and I want to make it work." Emilie looked him in the eye. "I love you, Em. And that won't stop." "Guess what?" "What?" "I love you, too," she revealed, pulling him in again. She could feel his smile through their kisses, and when she managed to get up from her position lying down and moved to his lap instead, she looked into his twinkling eyes, a grin unable to disappear from his face. A few hours later, a similar smile covered Harry's features when they lay beside each other in bed. "Holy, fucking, shit." Harry let out a huge sigh, his chest rising and falling as he fell on his back on the mattress. He was staring at the ceiling with an almost manic look on his face, an overexcited emotion radiating from him, following a chuckle or two that came out. They just had sex for the second time and although it seemed impossible, it had felt even better than the first time around. "What's wrong?" Emilie smiled at him. "Nothing," he answered, still smiling, "Just that my head's spinning. From all the butterflies." "I love you," she replied, bending her head to place a kiss on his forehead. She repositioned so she could start leaving little pecks along his cheek, jaw, neck... "Stop," he smirked. "I'm so in love with you," she teased. "My heart can't take it, Em, please." But Emilie went on. "You own it. You make it beat so fucking fast," he added, actually meaning it. "Harry, stop," Emilie laughed out loud. She couldn't help but crack up at his dramatics. "I'm serious," he argued, bringing his hand up to grab hers to lay it to rest on his bare chest. "You feel that? All because of you." Emilie smiled, realising this was the second time Harry'd made her feel his heartbeat. And she felt it. It was racing. "That's it? Just that?" she pestered nevertheless, "I reckon we could turn it up another notch." "Ugh, babe." He smiled and got hold of Emilie's wrists before he hands were able to wander, "Give a man a break." ~~ "Alright, so have you got everything?" "Yep. Just checking my passport and my wallet one final time," Emilie replied somewhat absentmindedly, going through her bags, "I think I've got it all." "If not, I'm sure I can send it to you." "That, or I could just come back to get it. Or you could come over to Denmark and take it with you," Emilie offered. She smiled at the thought. It was the day of departure. Tuesday the thirtieth. Emilie's flight left in about three hours, so it was really time to leave. "No one's home?" Harry asked, pointing towards the wall that separated the apartment from the Ainsley's living space. "Nope. The nanny's picking Denny up from school, Charlie's at nursery. Catherine and David are at work. Said my goodbyes to the family yesterday," Emilie responded, "Told them I'll probably be back soon." They shared a smile. "I had such a great time with you." "Me, too, babe," Harry gushed, "I'm not sure how I could ever thank you enough." They were standing in the front room of Emilie's apartment, near the doorway, facing each other, the distance between them limited. His hands went up to her arms. "You know this is how it was supposed to go last year, don't you?" "I know." "This is exactly what I thought things would be like, last year." Emilie looked around the room, taking everything in. From her packed suitcase to the empty, tidy spaces. Of course she'd only spent three weeks in the apartment this time around, and not three months, but it still felt similar to what it was like to leave London behind last year. "This is how I wanted it to go," she realised. "Better late than never, I guess." Harry raised his eyebrows up and down with wide eyes and let out a sigh. "I'm sorry," he added. Emilie lost count of how many times he'd apologised over the last two and a half weeks. "Don't be. It's in the past. We don't dwell on those days." Harry nodded, his hands now getting hold of hers. "And remember. Five weeks tops." "Five weeks tops," he repeated with a smile. Their little agreement. Whatever the circumstances, they'd make sure they'd never spend more than five weeks apart. Emilie moved her hands up his body until she reached his cheeks and pulled him in, kissing him for what could be the final time in quite a while. "I'm driving you to the airport, you know that, right?" He smiled looking down at her, licking his lips. "Yeah, but I'm not gonna make out with you in public." "In that case," Harry started before dipping in again, his mouth instantly finding Emilie's. "I love you," she breathed in between kisses.   "And I love you." Emilie closed her eyes, exhaling through her nose while she increased the distance between them. Then a small frown appeared on her face. "I'm so happy, it's almost strange." Harry chuckled. "We're gonna hold onto this, right?" "Of course," he assured, his face showing that he understood, but that it still broke his heart that Emilie was still a bit wary. "We're gunna make this work, remember?" "You promise?" "Babe. Letting go of you once was just plain stupid. If I were to do it twice, I'd be a total dickhead, wouldn't I?" Emilie laughed. She shook her head in disbelief. "God... Jonas is probably gonna fly over here and beat you up the minute he finds out." Harry looked genuinely worried. "I'm kidding. He'll be fine with it," Emilie said, until she started doubting her own words, "...Eventually." "Right. It helps that I have a gate, then." "Don't worry, okay?" "Maybe I can give him a call? I guess I do have his number," Harry joked. "Oh, God. I almost forgot about that," Emilie confessed, "Have to have a word with him about that one, as well." "Ready to go home?" He looked at the time. "Don't want you to be late." "Yeah... Let's go." ~~ OCTOBER 2020 "Alright, here we go." "Right." "Everything good to go?" "Safe flight, you guys," Jonas offered, giving them both a hug. Emilie held him tight for a bit longer. "Thank you, Jo. And thanks for helping us this week. It was so fun." After a week of spending time in Holmegaard, relaxing and hanging out but also spending a lot of time packing boxes and suitcases, it was now time to go. Parcels were being shipped. Their flight was leaving in a bit. More hugs were exchanged. "Take care of yourself, Emilie," Agnes made sure to tell her daughter. "I will." "I know you will." Her mum smiled. "We'll be back in Denmark soon, definitely before Christmas," Emilie thought out loud, "We'll make sure to plan something around the holidays." "I'm already looking forward to it." "So I guess we'll see you then?" Jonas scratched his head. "Remember you can always visit us," Emilie told her little brother. "Any time, mate! We're only an hour flight away. Also, my Mum misses you, Agnes," Harry turned from Jonas to Emilie's Mum. "Said she can't wait to catch up." Emilie saw the sincerity in his eyes and couldn't quite believe her luck. "Ah, that's sweet," Agnes beamed, "I'll call her right when we get back home." Three years after meeting, two years after getting together again, it was now time. Emilie didn't want to live in Denmark anymore. She wanted to be near her boyfriend. Sure, Harry would always be travelling around the world, especially since he was going on the second leg of his second world tour soon, but the both of them craved having a place they could call their home. Their mutual home. For now, it would be the Hampstead house. The house Emilie had gotten to know so well over the years, the place she'd already made her home, in a way. The place that held so many memories. Harry told her they would start looking into new properties soon. Maybe something a bit less bachelor-y. Something they could make their own and spend the next phase of their lives in. Together. Emilie'd already asked if it could still be in the Hampstead area. The town where it all began. She couldn't imagine living anywhere else, not having the Heath to turn to, to take long walks. Not being near the Ainsley's. Speaking of, Denise and Charlotte had been informed about Emilie's permanent return and were both beyond excited to have her back in their lives. Every time she'd been back in Hampstead visiting Harry, they'd ask why she was leaving again. Now, they didn't have to anymore. A shaky breath escaped Emilie's lips. This was huge. She knew she could go back whenever she needed to. She knew that being with Harry definitely had its financial perks. He'd told her time and time again that she could go back to Denmark any time she'd like, even just for a day. Hell, Emilie for now wouldn't even have a job in London to begin with, so she definitely had the time to take quick trips. But still. She was really moving to another country. This was huge. Emilie coughed to get rid of the lump in her throat, before giving her Mum another hug, whispering in her ear, "Can you just tell me once more that you're okay with this?" After returning from London two years ago and everything with Harry started looking up again, Emilie spent another six months working at the little office in Holmegaard for three days a week. The past year and a half she'd worked full-time at a larger company, focusing on doing research for an educational experiment, mostly analysing data. Because the office was only a half hour drive from Holmegaard, and Emilie loved living with her Mum, she stayed at home. In her heart, she knew she would eventually make the move to London to be with Harry and therefore renting a place of her own for a longer period of time didn't sound too appealing. It now meant that at twenty-six years old, she still lived with her Mum and with Jonas staying in Aarhus after graduating uni, her Mum would be all by herself for what would be the first time ever. Emilie couldn't help but feel a bit guilty. "Em," Agnes spoke, increasing the distance between her and her daughter so they could look each other in the eyes, "Of course I'm okay with this. Are you happy?" "Never been happier." "Then neither have I." Emilie smiled and couldn't help but hug her once more. When she let go of her, she went back to Jonas and Harry appeared. "I will take good care of her," she heard Harry tell Agnes, as if he knew she and Emilie just shared a moment, "We'll be back soon. And you are always welcome to stay with us for as long as you'd like." Eventually, the final goodbyes were said. Emilie and Harry were off with their suitcases, leaving Agnes and Jonas behind at the check-in desks. It all reminded Emilie a lot of the moment she had to say goodbye to her family before leaving for London for three months, three years ago. Her brother was standing to their Mum's right, giving them two thumbs-up, the exact way he did back then. The only one missing right now was Emilie's sister. Gitte and Viktor, Gitte's husband, were both working and couldn't make it to the airport to say goodbye. It didn't really matter, though. They had a fun dinner last night and if anything, Emilie didn't feel alone in the slightest. Harry got hold of her hand as they walked down the corridor towards the automatic doors that would separate them from the public area of the airport, both dragging along heavy luggage, ready to scan their plane tickets. Emilie looked up to see him smiling and she wished she could've caught the look in his eyes on camera. She knew he was so, so happy. Happier than ever, just like she was. He looked amazing, his skin still a bit tanned from touring the States over the Summer. His hair was longer than she'd ever seen on him in person, reaching past his shoulders. His distinguishing long locks definitely caught attention and Emilie was certain his presence at the airport wasn't going unnoticed by fellow travellers. The past two years had developed Emilie's sixth sense to a level close to Harry's, always feeling stranger's eyes on them. But it was alright. 'I know they're watching. But I don't care who sees'. They both knew. And they both didn't care. She smiled wider. The stupid lyric he actually incorporated into a song released on his second album. A song that was placed fourth on the track list, but was weirdly called 'Eleven'. No one understood why. No one but the two of them. "Ready to go home?" "Yeah," Harry replied, all dimples and everything. "Are you?" His wide grin altered, a somewhat serious look appearing on his face. "Leaving home, I mean? Starting this new chapter?" Emilie squeezed his hand. "Home is wherever I'm with you." © ficbynic. 2017-2018.  | < Previous part | | Story page | Author | Talk to me |

[youaremynewdream]

See You Later

Final Fantasy XV Noctis/Prompto College AU words: 1750

Prompto finally asked Noct out on a date...

...but now it's 45 minutes past the hour and Noct is pretty sure Prompto has stood him up.

quick light college au first date for my boys. Just a wee bit of angst mixed in for funsies. <3

Read on AO3 here!

He was late.

Again.

Not that this is anything out of the ordinary for Prompto, being late on rainy evenings is almost commonplace at this point. But normally when you make plans with someone, specifically plans that are supposed to be enjoyable, you should at least attempt to arrive on time.

Alas, the clock on the wall of the restaurant ticks on, seeming to mask the quiet banter of the few patrons scattered about the dining room.

Noct's thumb traces circles around the rim of his half empty water glass in place of conversation. The condensation from the melted ice had already made their way to encircle the bottom of the glass, no doubt adding another ring to the faded fake wood of the table.

Noct shifts in the peeling vinyl booth, the uncomfortable sound of sweat on leather making its presence known too loudly in his ears, clashing with the lilting folk song humming on the speakers above him.

He sighs. Where could he be? He had anticipated maybe up to 15 minutes of tardiness, for loose shoelaces or a forgotten wallet were a common occurrence in Prompto's life. However, according to his phone it was now 19:47, much later than some typical clumsiness would cause, at least not without a quick text or phone call.

Without realizing it, Noct begins to furiously tap the table with his free hand, alerting the waitress of his now nearly empty glass.  She quietly makes her way over with the pitcher, a small knowing smile painted on her lips.

"More water?" she asks politely.

Noct nods, not looking up from his phone on the table.  The waitress fills his glass and pauses, asking, "Have you decided to order something? Perhaps an appetizer while you wait?"  She hovers for a moment as Noct clicks off the screen with a sigh and glances at the menu.

"Uh... I guess I'll have an order of white rice... and some chicken skewers for now?"  Noct's fingers curl around the edges of the menu. He's not giving up yet. Releasing his menu would only confirm that he didn't think his date wasn't coming.

Writing his order down on a small pad of paper she smiles, a little relieved. "I'll go let the kitchen know, feel free to call me over if your er... friend shows up, alright?" she says.

Noct only responds by slightly bowing his head, unlocking the screen to open his texts once more, barely noticing her footsteps as she left him alone once more.

The texts remain unchanged.

It says delivered, not read.  His phone calls kept reaching voicemail but that didn't stop him from calling the other boy one more time.

"Hello! You've reached the phone of Prompto Argentum!  I probably didn't hear this call so leave a message or a text and I'll get back to you A S A P!"

The tone beeps and Noct hangs up instantly.  He's already left at least 4 messages, what good would another one do?

20:15

The burnt orange tiled walls reflect the streetlights that seem to burn brighter every moment outside. His appetizers arrive without a word, and he nibbles on them while he keeps swiping through the different apps on his phone, desperately trying to pass the time.

20:52

His spoon scrapes the bottom of the plate, finally resigning to eat the last grain of rice.  As the waitress comes to take his plates away, he hastily asks for more rice and a cup of coffee before she can ask him if he wants his check.

The texts still only say delivered.

Outside the light rain from earlier seems to get heavier, each drop of water pounding into the window beside him demanding its presence known.

Staring past his reflection in the window he desperately tries to find Prompto's face in the strangers that pass by, but none of them fit. Too tall, too short, a sea of black and brown hair without the golden hue his heart aches for.

They had been friends for a while now, since freshman year of college, and they were currently juniors. Noct had never been one to act on his feelings, even friendships were hard to come by for him.

But Prompto had been the one to come up to him, to introduce himself, to ask to hang out, and now, ask him out on a date. He was always warm, always welcoming, declaring his opinions to the world as soon as the right words came to mind.

He was everything Noct wasn't.

It isn't until the 3rd sip of his coffee that Noct remembers that he hates the stuff.

21:37

The waitress declares that it's last call for food from the kitchen before they close.  He orders 2 green curries to go and a refill on his coffee.

Prompto knew Noct liked him before he knew it himself. Small confessions and laughter on friendly road trips had set this path in stone.  Noct had never dated anyone, never really wanted to. But when Prompto asked, how could he say no?

Before he knew it he realized his heart flutters every time they touch, and there wasn't anyone he'd rather fall for.

But here he is, alone in a strange restaurant with coffee that tastes like crushed beetles, a singular fly that keeps returning to his plate no matter how much you wave it away, and whispering waiters who must be pitying him by now. What is happening here? Is this all a prank? Is someone going to pop out and laugh at him for even thinking he could date such a beautiful, bright person?

No, Prompto would never.  He said he would be here. He promised.

Prompto never breaks a promise.

21:58

Noct leaves two twenties on the table and walks out with a bag full of hot curry and a empty feeling in the pit in his stomach.

Outside the rain is still coming down in sheets.  Taking one last look at the street around him, Noct searches for any shimmer of gold in the darkness.  Finding nothing but grey, he puts up his umbrella and slowly makes his way towards his home.

22:31

Noct reaches his apartment relatively dry.  Under the awning he sets down the curry, shakes the water off of his umbrella, and begins to fiddle with his keys when he hears him.

"NOOOOCCCTTT!"

The familiar voice makes him turn around instantly.

Blue eyes match his and Noct doesn't pause in running out in the rain to meet him.

Without hesitation they embrace, their warmth piercing through the sharp cold. Prompto's tears mix with the raindrops as he cries out a string of apologies.  Noct hushes him.

"Prom, you're soaking wet let's get you inside okay?"  Prompto nods and they head inside.

"Noct... I'm so sorry I can explain I... I... oh Six you must hate me you must think I just ignored you gahh I'm so sorry I--"

"Prompto.  Calm down, okay." Noct tosses a towel at him and Prompto catches it midair.  Noct sighs, "Now why don't you dry off, you must be freezing." Prompto pouts, but buries his face in the towel anyway.

"Hey Prom, did you eat anything"

Still encased in the towel Prompto manages to muffle out a version of "no."  Noct blasts the curry in the microwave for a minute then plops it in front of Prompto with a fork.

"Eat."

Prompto emerges from his towel cage and his jaw drops at the sight of the food.  "Noct... you didn't have to get me anything! I was supposed to pay I was-

Noct pushes the food closer to him. "Eat. Then talk."  Prompto reluctantly takes a bite, then moans at the taste and begins to shovel it in.

Noct chuckles, "That good, huh?"

Prompto nods, " 's tha best!" He eats a few more bites then slows, the frown returning to his face.  "Noct... I really am sorry, I tried to be there on time, early even! But... well you know me... if one thing goes wrong everything else has to follow..."

Noct remains silent, waiting for the blond to continue. Prompto takes a deep breath, "I was heading out on my bike. I finally got one used, you know I've been saving up for it. I had left early to pick it up from this guy's house, I wanted to show it to you tonight!  But... I might have not thought to look at the forecast? So the rain caught me by surprise and... I don't even know how I crashed but suddenly I was spinning and then I was on the ground and it was a mess dude."

Noct stops him there, "Wait, are you okay? are you hurt??"

Holding up his arms Prompto weakly smiles, "Just scrapes and bruises, thankfully.  My phone and bike on the other hand weren't so lucky. First the police showed up, then they made me go to the hospital, and I couldn't remember your number and I had to run my way here and... Ugh. Noct..."

Prompto looks down at the ground, hiding the prickling tears tempting to spill over.  "And the entire time all I could think about was how you must have been feeling... I'd been waiting so long for this... I care about you so much and... and I've wanted to be with you and... here I am already ruining our first date.  You must think I'm awfully stupid-"

Without thinking Noct gently pulls Prompto's face to his and kisses him softly, then pulls away as quick as he leaned in.  "I... I’m sorry I just-"

Prompto cuts him off with his lips, answering the unasked question as they deepen the kiss until they finally break away with Prompto chuckling.

Noct tenses, "What... was that bad? I... I haven't really..."

Shaking his head, Prompto clarifies, "No no, it's not that, I just... ha, I can't believe that I basically stood you up on a date, and now I get free food and a kiss? I should screw up more often."

Noct smiles and joins him in laughing, "Please don't, you're going to make me age thirty years with worry for your safety."  Softening, he reaches for Prompto's hand, "I'm just glad you're alright... when you didn't respond... I didn’t know what to think but… are you sure you really are okay?"

Squeezing his hand in return Prompto smiles wider.  "Honestly Noct? I've never been better."

Noct couldn't agree more.

[jjungkooksthighs]

HIII ITS ME HEART FLUTTERING ANON 😁 SO! FAV CHAPTERS EEEE first of all chap 1 had me hooked obviously from the start, and for chap 2 i lovedddd how it set the scene for how they first met and then when they ran into each other again ... literal tingles up and down the way he TALKED to her??? “pretty omega ... i won’t bite” AHHHHHHHHHHHH

and then all of chapter 3 was so good the way he was talking to her again was sooo good so possessive and it was incredible like i don’t know if you understand literally LITERALLY it makes my body tingle and then chap 4 when he carried her through the forest and hes all like “you wouldn’t want me to lose control would you” AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

and then chapter 5 i love that you wrote her a sweet best friend and also that scene where she imagined him .... GOD ur incredible. and then the ENDING. when taehyung popped out .... i’m actually double biased with taehyung and jungkook and so when that happened i was like JHDJSAIWIQKSJJS more tingles it was so well written please

... then chap 6. do i even need to say anything? thigh riding i CANT i almost passed out and he made her admit that she had her own fantasies and nobody could do it like him .... also the end when he was like “it won’t be just your legs that ache in my wake” AHHHHHHHHHHHH LIKE I SWEAR MY WHOLE BODY JUS. IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT OTHER THAN AHHHHHHHHHHH

chap 7 ... the whole dancing scene was so hot and then he told her to come to him OOOOO ANTICIPATION

finally chap 8 GODDDD first of all i love grinding like literally you don’t even understand and so when you wrote that in i was like EEEEEEE and then she went down on him and at the same time she got off on his leg that was so so sexy but then they have to go apart again :( until the next chapter !

so. in case you haven’t noticed it’s very hard for me to pick a fav chapter. lol. BUT i would def say chap 6 and chap 8 for obvious reasons, chapter 3 and 4 were also really sexy but i think my fav will be chapter 9 actually i’m anticipating it a lot and i’m sure it’ll be nothing but amazing ... that’s not pressure it’s me having faith in you cause you’re an amazing writer and i’m so excited to see what you come up with next hehe

i hope tbis wasn’t too long and annoying to read but yeah ily

Chapter 1 of COC was written during a lust filled craze following the Idol performance at Gyeongbokgung Palace that they boys did for that BTS week on Jimmy Kimmel’s show. Kook really was in a rare form following his 23rd birthday and that performance truly had me salivating over him from start to finish. I saw Jungkook and my eyes did not stray from him once and not a day later, I was working on a fic that I had no idea would become the 40k plus piece that is now COC. 

Chapter 1 was brought you to my overwhelming horniness after that performance and it’s interesting that you were lured to my fic in the same way Jungkook allured me to him even from the moment I first saw him back in 2013. 

You caught that little bit with him biting her in chapter 2, huh?? XD I am impressed. Perhaps he was joking, perhaps he knew from that second he saw her that she was destined to be his mate and therefore was hinting at a future mating mark???

Moving on, Jungkook is indeed a very possessive individual (from what we know of him irl in that he’s said “what is yours is mine and what is mine is mine”) and I wanted to depict that side of him in addition to making that trait even more abundant in his character in the story since wolves themselves are very territorial and possessive creatures. If Jungkook irl likes to stake his claim on things, then you can only image how much more enhanced that side of him would be if here were, say, a werewolf. 

I am glad you Jungkook’s characterization in the way that he converses with those around him (especially reader) and when I was writing, I wanted reader to feel shy and even more, I wanted you guys as the readers to “feel” the tingle that she does when he speaks to her. The fact that you do means i succeeded in that and I am very, very pleased to hear it!

As for his comment about “losing control,” let us just say that every single time that reader is around him, it takes him an enormous amount of self-restraint not to let his urges take hold of him that she brings out whenever he inhales her pheromones that make his baser being howl with need for in addition to her own personality that he finds very refreshing and adorable. On top of all that, she’s the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen, so he’s quite taken with her and she with him. I wanted to instill that desire between them as well within their conversations and hopefully that is conveyed in the chapters, too!

Chapter five....that one was one written after quite the dream I had. I will say that one was genius if I do say so myself. It was so long and i had so much I wanted to do with it and the final product I was actually really satisfied with. I’m happy to know you were, too, hun! It’s funny you say you are double biased with Tae as someone I know very well irl is biased so hard for him that not even Kook can sway her attention (and lbr how can one NOT look at Jungkook when he’s sin incarnate when he wants to be and cute lil baby boy when he feels like being sweet?)

LISTEN CHAPTER SIX I WROTE IN ANOTHER LUST FILLED HAZE OKAY I MAKE NO APOLOGIES FOR THIGH RIDING I MEAN HAVE YOU SEEN HIS LEGS??? HAVE YOU??? LITERAL ORGASM MATERIAL ISTG I WOULD RIDE THEM WHENEVER, WHEREVER AND HOWEVER HE WANTED IF HE LET ME. MY URL LITERALLY IS JJUNGKOOKSTHIGHS OKAY I MUST PAY HOMAGE TO THE CREATIONS OF THE FINEST MAKING TO MAN (honestly though everything about Jungkook is a gift from the gods). i cannot tell you how many times I have thought about fucking myself over his thighs okay it’s just not healthy and let us leave it at that. Ahem, anyways.... chapter six really was something, huh? That whole chapter got deleted off my computer after I closed the file and forgot to save it and so had to rewrite the whole thing from scratch. It was a sad day when that happened, but I got right back to work and finished the reworked version about two days later. I had worried for some time that that chapter wasn’t as hot because of the diction in it, so hopefully you were able to immerse yourself in that and get those tingles there, too XD

Chapter seven was especially long and that one was actually deleted originally after some comments about the diction and so I had to rewrite it and repost it so that people would be able to understand it better. That whole dance scene is very close to my heart as it was taken directly from that little dance break Jungkook does in his My Time performance during their online MOTS: One concert. The song he sings is also My Time, which is my favorite solo song (in combination with Euphoria because they are both my children and you can’t pick favorites with children lbr), so that whole little show he puts on for reader is very special to me since I love the song (and dance) so much. 

Chapter eight was hot af, I admit it. He really did a number on reader in chapter seven and so she wanted to show him how he made her feel and boy, did she deliver. He fell even harder for her when he realized she wanted to please him despite her inexperience and it was a godly experience for him to be able to teach her how to use her mouth on the only cock that she will ever have in her mouth or her cunt. :) They are animals after all, for only animals do what they did in that chapter in terms of her literally rutting against his leg and getting off while she drank his seed after blowing him. Anyways, it was hot and I confess, my mind really was somewhere south while writing that. 

Oh, and to clarify, they don’t separate in that chapter (and I have begun to write chapter nine and they are not apart in that one either. Well, in the beginning at least ). 

So, chapters 6 and 8 were your favorites, huh? Looks like your favorite ones are the ones with smut , eh??? Interesting... I will say that chapter nine will not have any smut in it, but I think you will be pleased with it when you read it. You will have quite a lot of emotions hit you during it and I hope to do you justice when I post it, hon. 

Thank you so much for giving me such a long and detailed response. You may think I found it annoying, but I assure you that I did not. Rather, I thought the opposite in that it was endearing and I want you to know how grateful I am that you took the time to write all this out and send it to me. I wanted to give you a response that was just as detailed and thoughtful as I appreciate you for doing what you did. So, I guess what I am trying to say is thank you for this. I enjoyed reading your thoughts and i hope you will be appeased by my reply in turn, sweetling. 

[zucca101]

"Nazis are leftists" must be the hottest fucking take I've ever heard in my life. And you dare accuse others of living in a fantasy world? Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Ahh, a political rhyme-off, is it? Don’t think thee smart, thou nasty twit.

Your claims, they are atrocious and your manner braggadocios.

You challenge one precocious, whose prose is quite ferocious.

Sit your Social Justice backside down, to you I will explain

Let’s talk about the Nazi clowns, and their knack for making pain.

You claim to say they were Leftists true is a lie as sure as sour

But to me it seems reading’s unknown to you, and well beyond your power

My round and gray and sunglassed friend, your words are very hollow

If harsher truths and babes in booths offend, heh, methinks you can unfollow

The Nazis, see, had revelry and their own dark ways of fun

Starting close and disarming folks so no home had a gun

If you’re reading now and disavow the words you plainly see,

the tale moves on to time’s own song as you squat and take your knee

As history knew, they blamed the Jew and sent them to their deaths

“Dehumanize, don’t sympathize, for the Jews are merely pests!”

If by now you’re thinking how this all sounds quite familiar

these words affirmed by prisoners turned, like Private Joe Devillier

The Left today, who stiff winds sway, speak based off of derivatives

Not now the Jew, but now, who knew? The blame is on Conservatives.

“That don’t make sense, no precedence!” by now you’re surely fervent

But Democrats (the REAL fat cats) sent Japs into internment!

Your eyes are glazed, your mind amazed, your body surely reeling

For many aren’t prepared for me, the truth bombs I am dealing.

Progressives would, you bet your good, put righties into death camps

As children cry, they identify by tattooed barcode black stamps

But once again, Window Overton, shifts right along its track

The Left would twist, betray Centrists, and knife them in the back.

You’re bright, I’m sure, and mostly pure. You don’t mean Righties harm.

But your fellow Lefties see your cure, and from it you can’t charm.

They’d tell you you’re not true, they’d invade your privacy too

They’d call you a Righty, haul you out in your nighty and into camp with you

Now my words, like walking birds, I hope you don’t misconstrue

The desperate words, back then unheard, the death cry of the Jew.

I like to think you’re not on the blink! Not petty as a flea

I do have faith you’re not some waif who screams autistically

One last point, put out your joint, is sure to make you lurch

And I will say how in that day, did Hitler replace the church.

“Now see here, unhand your beer, you drunk and stupid furry!

Every schoolchild knows, as the story goes, Hitler was of Christianity!”

Now brace yourself, try not to chelf, and try not to get pissed

See, Hitler Adolf was none too soft and quite the atheist!

I pull the rug like I give a hug, the dirty lies I will replace

In churches, DURR, Adolf Hitler, swapped Jesus for his face

The story’s done by the setting sun of Social Justice folks

who to men above bereft of love, you’re dim eggs full of yolks

To you,  dear friend, let me amend and try to clarify…

My point, you see, is not to be someone who makes Lefties die

The party Nazi fell in hot seed, I hope you’re reading this

For Democrats and Nazi rats share motives socialist.

If can’t you see, through this litany, the correlation spread

Don’t blame me, you won’t be free, is long as you don’t clear your head

And if by now you’re thinking how you’ll balk at one more rhyme

Consider then, this is the end, and I’ll see you next time!