Hi 👋 This is chapter four of the Estranged Uncle Au!
Just a warning there is mentions of cults and a scene that has Damian being Damian (AKA knife child) Please take care of yourselves! I hope you enjoy!
Clark was sweating buckets.
“I promise you I’m not in danger! This is all a big misunderstanding! Bruce isn’t even that creepy!”
Jazz rattled off several reasons.
“He has a cloyingly sweet public persona, his personal computer has extensive information on all of the local rogues in the area and all the adopted sons we’ve met look practically identical to both each other and you and Danny! Not to mention they all seem trained for combat! How is that not creepy?”
Okay from an impartial standpoint Clark could see how it looked like he was tied up in a cult.
“I swear if another fruitloop billionaire obsessed with one of my family members tries to adopt me I’m gonna wail!”
How specific!
“Wail?” Clark began to ask but was cut off.
“Are you tied up in a cult Clark? Because we can get you out if you are! I … uh know a guy who specializes in taking down cults.”
What?
“I promise you I’m not in a cult! The blue eyes and black hair is a coincidence and I am not in danger! Also what do you mean you know a guy who specializes in taking down cults!?!”
Danny squinted.
“Hold that thought. Everyone stop talking!”
Danny reached towards Clark’s shoulder and picked out a small device, no bigger than a grain of rice out of his cable knit sweater.
“No one who plants listening devices into sweaters isn’t creepy.”
He then promptly threw it to the ground and crushed it with his heel.
“That’s the end of the recording.” Tim said while cringing.
“Sleazy?!? Me? Sleazy? I did a back handspring on hardwood floors for them and they call me sleazy?!”
Dick thought that he could win them over. Was he too heavy handed?
“It’s probably because you fell asleep in the pico de gallo timber.” Jason joked as he inspected the weapons vault.
“What? Me?!? I was the only one who made any headway! I was just up late trying to track whoever was hacking us!” Tim defended.
“Well good news! You found ‘em! Let me know when they hack my library account seeing as the Big bad bat computer is being hacked by a couple teens.” Jason said dismissively as he took a flamethrower fuel canister.
Bruce was experiencing a new amalgamation of emotions. He was both incredibly embarrassed, incredibly amused and incredibly impressed.
How embarrassing that the bat computer was hacked! He put so much effort into the protection of his data!
But then again Clark must be beside himself trying to convince them he wasn’t in a cult and that was incredibly amusing. He even said all the things that people said when they were in denial about being in a cult!
This was absurd! The only way to describe this was absurd!
“Fools! All of you do not truly understand the gravitas of the situation! If they believe that we are indeed weapons dealers they may snoop further and compromise all of our secret identities!” Damian huffed his way into the view of his family.
“We’ll be alright Dami, Tim is reinforcing our defenses for the computer and we’re going to try and disengage for a while. If we keep on trying we might make it worse.” Dick ruffled through Damian’s hair despite many protests.
Damian tutted at this suggestion. They needed to approach the problem head on and quickly rectify the situation lest it spiral into a larger one. Perhaps if they suffered an accident.
“Damian! I know that face! That’s the face you make when you go off and try to rectify the situation by yourself!”
“That is not true Grayson! I was simply thinking about confiding in my companion about how tedious my science project is.”
“You promise you’re only going to engage in age appropriate activities like science homework and book reports?”
“I promise.”
"I'm choosing to believe you" Dick began to walk away before pulling another sour face. "...Sleazy?"
Damian checked his hidden blades one final time before encroaching upon this Daniel Fenton who had foolishly entered an alleyway. He deftly held a knife to the throat of his target.
"If you continue to snoop into my father's business I will not hesitate to cut you down!"
Damian was expecting to me met with fear and copious apologies. He was a fearsome and terrifying warrior after all.
"Are you trying to hold me at knifepoint on your tippy-toes?" The target said in the same tone that one would use with a kitten trying to jump a bit too high. They should be focused on the clear danger Damian was posing. Or at least the danger he was posing. Between the moment Damian looked at his feet and the moment he looked back up to find a very unperturbed Danny.
"Did your father put you up to this?" He asked.
"No! I acted of my own accord!"
"Well are there anymore ineffective threats you want to say?"
Damian was about to say something when his stomach audibly growled. Curses! He could not bring a meal in order to maintain secrecy from Alfred! Damian slowly looked up towards Danny's face. He has that look that Grayson gets before he does something annoying like ruffle his hair.
"Are you hungry?"
Damian did not dignify this question with an answer and began to storm off.
"I'm having some friends over, we can spare you a plate! My friend Sam chose the menu though so its vegan."
Damian stopped in his tracks.
"What is it that you are making?"
"Cauliflower gnocchi with cashew cream pesto."
"And this is taking place in Clark's home?"
"yep."
"Fine. But I will not be lenient with you because you've offered me a meal!"
Danny laughed and texted Sam
"Hey get another bundle of basil Im bringing a guest"
621 notes
·
View notes
i joined the TADC fandom about a month ago and funnybunny posts were disgusting to me but now
your yummy art style has gotten me obsessed i keep looking at this stuff and its so adorable i dont know why i ever doubted it
ive been sitting on this ask for a while because ive been trying to think of something funny to reply with but honestly i’m just kinda dumbfounded that my silly little scribbles had that much of an effect on someone
i gravitated towards jaxpom/funnybunny right from the start but i can also see why someone wouldn’t see the appeal. I just personally find more reactive character dynamics to be so much more intriguing (see: mod mew explaining it better ) than the “softer/wholesome” ships because it allows more room and opportunities for character exploration, and considering that i emotion is one of the biggest things i try to convey in my art, the more i can push and exaggerate that the more likely it is i’m gonna want to draw it.
anyways, i digress, it makes me very happy to hear that, welcome to glorious nation jaxpomnia / funnybunnistan, punch and pie to your left, bouncy castle to your right
137 notes
·
View notes
Now we’ve seen Superman and Robin!dick interact but what if they were in their civilian mode pre identity reveal and met.
Clark, covering the gala for the daily planet: H-Hello…?
Dick, who has been staring at him for a good thirty seconds: Hi! 👋😁 Dick Grayson! A pleasure to meet you!
Clark: uh hi, I’m Clark Kent.
Dick: you look strong!
Clark: Thank you?
Dick: yeah. hold your arm out like this okay?
Clark does the thing: why? Wha-
Dick, now hanging from his arm as if to test the strength of a tree branch: Perfect! Now, launch me!
Clark: what?!
Dick: I wanna see if I can reach the chandelier! Only for a little bit though, just a couple swings and tricks and an impromptu dismount.
Clark: No!
Dick: c’mon! I’ll be fine! It’ll be fine! You’ll be fine!
Clark: NO IT WILL NOT BE FINE!
Dick, still hanging, covering Clark’s face with his whole hand: shhhshhshhshush my Bruce dad will hear you!
Bruce: Richard John Grayson? What in the world are you doing?
Dick: FRICK!
And with that he scrambles away.
373 notes
·
View notes