BLOOD||HUNGER
[PREV PART] [AO3]
OOO I'm very excited to share this chapter! We're getting close to the finish line!
Its name is "The Song of Us"
Page 54 of the “Blooede Starvatfōre-dēde”, parable 15:
The Blind man asks his companion, before dawn break,
What do you believe, is a beast’s fate,
Once death seizes its life, in his inevitable grasp?
The beast, his heart knowing of the fallen knight’s pleas,
Of men they lost, who were left to be but a worm’s dark feast,
Answers, death reaches for monsters all the same as men,
For the unjust, for the cruel,
For the kind, for the forgiving,
All bones become one, until they become none,
As death is the only being, to see all as one and the same.
This city is quiet, in the way a drowning is. Something wicked is happening under the surface, hidden from plain sight. If only its victim had air to scream.
The Hunter has intel beyond the SAS’s scope, beyond Laswell’s. Informants, comms. A man pronounced to all as dead. How is it possible, they were written off as a non-threat before?
Soap grits his teeth, tapping the lit end of his cigarette on a wall. Simon started moving a few minutes ago, the poison once again retreating. By the haunted look in his brown eyes, John could tell they both know he’s running out of time.
Price has been arguing with Laswell while helping Simon. Something about the fact the Hunter seemingly didn’t exist a year prior, on paper. Appeared out of nowhere one day with an army behind them, ready to burrow into intelligence networks in a way even Makarov couldn’t.
Makarov’s name came up a lot in that conversation. Enough that Soap had to take a smoke.
Anger thrums through his veins. Begging for blood. The same incessant screaming that drove him to choke the life out of Makarov, the same fire that kept him going through this personal slice of hell.
Maybe he’s an idiot, for wanting to kill the Hunter, for believing it will change anything.
The cigarette’s flame licks his fingers.
Soap crushes it against the wall. He turns around, watching Simon and the Captain. Far enough to not hear them, but they seem to need a bit of privacy anyway. Soap can’t say he’s ever seen Price that emotional, in their short meetings.
He asks himself where Gaz is when the Lieutenant approaches him.
“Price is bloody livid, isn’t he?” Gaz huffs.
Soap hums. His eyes move from the Captain to Simon, his mask still on the ground besides him.
Kyle follows his stare, “did you know Ghost’s identity, when I found you two?”
“No”, the white skull almost glows in the moonlight, “I only found out when… the communicator tried to use it against him.”
He can feel Gaz scan his features, “and you still decided to work with him.”
Soap doesn’t answer. Simon and Price are hugging now, the movement uncoordinated to Ghost. He doesn’t know how he can tell.
He turns to face Gaz, “I swore we will finish this together. I don’t go back on my word.”
“We both know this goes beyond that, Soap.” Gaz gives him a half smile, “the way you look at him… Haven’t seen you like that with anyone else.”
Soap frowns, scoffing, “don’t know what yer-”
“You have feelings for him, don’t you?” Gaz asks, almost gently.
…Feelings?
…..Could he?
“I…”
“Don’t lie to yourself.” Gaz murmurs, “in all the years I’ve known you, you didn’t act like this. Going against everyone you know, jumping in front of him when Price starts threatening him, letting him rest his bloody head on your legs- c’mon Soap, you’re fucking smitten with the man-”
“Kyle.” Soap stops him, head hanging down to hide the embarrassment painting his cheeks red. He scrubs a weary hand over his features, looking up at his friend between his fingers.
Gaz’s eyes soften. Soap sighs, “I- this is not the time for that kind of shite. We need to fuckin’ dust the Hunter, and then-”
And then what?
Soap lowers his hand, stare unconsciously drifting towards Simon. Since when have his eyes started doing that?
It hasn’t been more than a month since he arrived to this godforsaken city. How is it that John can’t imagine being alone again?
Or… how can’t he imagine an ‘after’ without Simon?
“I won’t lie to you.” Kyle starts, his tone gentler, “I still don’t fully trust Ghost. Even if he is… Simon Riley.” the Lieutenant places a hand on his shoulder, “but I can tell what you truly want, even if you think it’s not feasible.”
“That’s because it isn’t-”
“Bullshit.” Gaz turns John around to face him, “look, we are not good men. We’ve been operating outside the law for… for as long as I can remember. What we do, the way we dirty our hands...”
Kyle lets out a shaky exhale, squeezing his shoulder, “what I’m saying is, we can make people disappear. And if you… if you want that, I can help. I’m sure Price will too-”
“Yer out of yer mind-”
“Are you going to go back to Scotland, mate?” Gaz’s voice sharpens on desperation, “are you gonna go back to feeling like you have nothing to live for? Can you really leave this life, leave Ghost, behind?” He almost whispers the end, “be honest.”
How could he go back? No apartment, endless job search, a buzz under his skin that cannot be scrubbed off, disappointment to his family, emptiness, emptiness, emptiness-
“What else can Ah do?!” Soap tenses under Gaz’s hand.
That hand keeps him steady all the same, “whatever you want, John.” Kyle smiles sadly, “me and Price don’t have that freedom, but you two? You don’t have stuffy generals breathing down your neck.”
“I don’t-” Soap cuts himself off, thoughts whirling faster in his mind. He gets reminded of what his therapist used to say about him, back when he was just discharged.
“You fixate on danger, John. To the point of obsession. You don’t know when to let go, if you believe you can make things right.”
“Even if the cost is more than you should be willing to pay.”
“Just… think about it. Besides…” Gaz looks away, expression darkening, “I have a feeling the 141 might need people like you in the future.”
Soap brows furrow, “dishonorably discharged adrenaline addicts?”
Kyle chuckles, “no”, his hands tighten on Soap’s shirt, “people we can trust. People who are willing to do what’s right, even if they know they shouldn’t. Even if they don’t act the way the higher ups would want them.”
His brown eyes turn to look at John, determination he first saw on bootcamp only growing stronger, “people like you.”
Soap goes through another cigarette with Gaz by the time Price and Simon return to them. Both of their eyes shine with tears.
“Laswell did some digging.” Price grunts, “wasn’t easy, finding intel on the Hunter. They know their way around our networks, clearly.” his stare flickers towards Simon, “this operation-”
“Mass murder” Soap corrects. Calling this an operation would spit on the dozens of innocent people left to rot here.
“Mass murder”, the Captain continues, “is very unusual for the Hunter’s soldiers. Almost… flashy.”
“The communicator admitted it was an attempt to frame me.” Simon rolls up the mask in his hands, slipping it on, “they needed to show the British Army I’m too dangerous to keep.”
“And they knew the SAS would send the 141 because of the informant.” Gaz huffs.
Price nods, “which they did succeed in, but it also exposed them to us.”
“The SAS wouldn’t have investigated it further if ye actually killed Ghost the first time around.” Soap grumbles, wincing a moment later when he remembered who he’s talking to.
The Captain takes it surprisingly seriously. “Correct. This is not the first time they hide behind a smaller, supposedly unconnected criminal.” he hangs his arms on his tacvest, commending voice booming in the empty streets, “the Hunter is now top priority for the 141, our orders are to eliminate them, along with any high ranking officers remaining within their army. This mission is classified to all but us and Laswell - anyone else will be treated as a potential collaborator of the Hunter.”
“What about Soap and Ghost, Captain?” Gaz asks.
Price sighs, “Ghost has escaped after releasing the civilian he captured as leverage. And John MacTavish?” a sly smile pushes his mustache up, ”he has never set foot in this city.”
Kate Laswell isn’t someone Soap knew well, back in his service. Has heard her name being dropped in a couple of debriefs, a few calls here and there regarding missions.
He becomes increasingly grateful she’s on their side, as she brings up more and more intel on the Hunter. Their main source of information is the informant Ghost killed - the man recognized several undercover soldiers moving supplies in and out of the city in the past few weeks. He knew something big was going to happen, but the SAS waved it off as a local gang.
On the day of his death, he managed to send in one last report. The informant knew his time was limited, that his cover was blown, so the message was painfully short.
‘Skull in warehouse, Konservy, game over’
It was not clear if who he referred to when he transmitted the name “Skull”, and at the time the comms officer asked the informant to repeat, thinking it was a mistyped “Ghost”. With what they know now, it’s highly likely he was actually talking about the Hunter, and their red skull insignia. Konservy is a name of a warehouse, two clicks out of the city, as Laswell quickly found out.
‘Game over’ is the agreed upon sign for caught spies.
Price and Gaz have brought out their maps, attempting to lock down the warehouse’s location. Soap and Ghost were gently shooed away after it became obvious they don’t have any more useful intel to provide.
“How’s your neck?” Ghost asks him, the two of them leaning against a crumbling wall.
Soap opens his mouth to answer, when gloved fingers brush over the bruised skin on his throat. “I uh…” he swallows, the hand following the movement, “I feel fine.”
Ghost hums, caressing the wound for a moment longer before pulling away. Soap wants to chase the touch.
He really is in over his head, isn’t he?
“Simon.” Soap looks up at the bright skull mask, “have you thought about… what are ye gonna do after?”
“...no.”
“...Would ye go back? To what you did before?”
Simon stares at him deeply, eyes closing, “I don’t think I can.” he looks back at Soap, “you? What did you do before?”
Soap chuckles bitterly, “ah, I was spendin’ my newly civvi life indulging in only the greatest of pleasures. Like sittin’ in an office for nine hours a day, or knittin’ a scarf on my therapist’s orders.”
Simon’s shoulders shake with a badly hidden laugh, “I’d like to see you knit.”
Soap grins, “oh I was a natural. It definitely didn’t have several holes by the time I was done.”
“How did you get here, then?” Simon asks, mirth still creasing his eyes.
His smile drops, words dying on his tongue, “I uh…” that weeks-old shame starts creeping back in, “was about to be evicted. Got fired, bastards never liked me anyway. I jus’ took all of my money and… ran as far as I could.”
Simon hums, shoulder leaning in to nudge his. Soap thinks the conversation is over after a few moments of silence, the both of them mauling over the words, when Simon surprises him.
“Think I’d like that… running away.” he murmurs.
“Aye? Where would ye go?”
“Don’t know. Don’t think it matters.” Simon leans in closer, their foreheads almost touching, “as long as the company is good.”
Soap feels a shiver go down his spine, eyes wide as he tries to find the joke that must be in Simon’s.
But he looks so painfully sincere, even when he finally leans away, “too bad there’s none ‘ere. Might ask Laswell if she got any tips on finding partners in crime.”
Soap lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “think they make dating apps for fuckers like ye?”
“Doubt I’ll find anyone as mental as you on Tinder, Johnny.” Simon deadpans.
“That’s because yer looking in the wrong place - Christian Mingle is where the real crazy bastards are.”
Simon can’t hold in his laugh this time, and for the first time Soap hears the way he snorts a little when his giggles become uncontrollable. It’s a horribly endearing sound, one that he wants to hear for every day for the rest of his life.
It makes his heart hurt, heavy, sinking in his chest like a death sentence.
Gaz was right.
He’s in love with Simon Riley.
Gaz went back to get the vehicle he and Price infiled with. It had a laptop, a few maps, and the most wonderful MREs Soap ever had. He never thought he’d miss that shite, but after running on a handful of oranges and a possibly moldy sandwich, they tasted like heaven on earth.
As he and Ghost had their meal (Simon’s eyes sparkled in a way that told Soap he was clearly as delighted with the food as he was), the 141 finalized their plan with Laswell. Soap could see them arguing about something, but he was far too preoccupied with eating to care at the moment.
Ghost, however, did care, “need anything, Price?”
The Captain snaps his head up, taking off his hat and scratching at his hair, “we have an angle to breach, but…”
Gaz joins in, “We don’t have intel on how many guards are posted, their location… mission will be doomed from the start if we just go in guns blazing.”
“Why not do some recon, then?” Soap wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, “we’re all trained for that.”
“Too risky, the warehouse is exposed, and the Hunter won’t leave any obvious gaps in security if they’re worth their salt.” Price grunts.
Ghost gets up, walking over to the maps spread on the truck’s hood, “then we break in.”
Soap smirks at the assurance in his voice, “and that’s why I love the Ghost.”
He instantly catches the knowing expression on Gaz’s face, as well as Simon stiffening beside him. Soap curses himself mentally, feeling his face heat up in shame. He prays for any god that might listen, that Ghost didn’t take it as seriously as the truth is.
Thankfully, Price saves him from blurting out some more recently-discovered-emotions, “no other way but through, eh Simon? What do you have in mind?”
Ghost scans the maps of the warehouse Laswell has sent over, “The Hunter doesn’t know we’re working together, if they’re expecting an attack they would only expect two people - me and Johnny.” his eyes flicker to Soap’s for a brief moment, “if we split up, the 141 could take them by surprise.”
“You said they’re after you and John, Simon. If they catch you, we might not be able to help.” Price says grimly.
Ghost sighs, looking away frustrated. His head turns to face Soap, eyes calculating, “...what if they don’t know it’s us?”
“What?” Price asks.
Ghost continues, eyes still staring deeply into his, “Johnny can easily disguise himself, he’s done so before. All he needs is to cover up his face and hair.”
The Captain nods to Ghost, “and what about you, son? Everyone knows your mask.”
“But no one knows his face.” Soap answers, understanding washing over him, “but Simon-”
“I can’t be Ghost if we want to finish this.” Simon brushes fingers over the bone-white teeth of the skull mask, hand tightening into a fist.
Gaz nods slowly, “and we can’t be the 141.” he sends a meaningful look to the Captain, “this operation has to be kept secret. If the SAS learns we collaborated with the Ghost…”
“Then we won’t be.” Price walks to the back of the truck, pulling out 3 black balaclavas and throwing them to Soap and Gaz.
Price begins explaining their plan, “Laswell has gathered up a few blueprints of the Konservy warehouse. There are several key points that appear to be far too open for us to breach, all except one - the offloading garage. We’ll split into two teams, me and Gaz will take the offices and CCTV rooms, clearing the way for Soap and Ghost to infiltrate the main machinery room.”
“Our plan depends on each team watching the other’s six, we’ll have to keep comms up.” Gaz adds.
“Once the first team takes over the CCTV room, we will be able to locate the Hunter. The faster we do this, the less likely reinforcements will arrive.” Price hands Soap and Ghost a radio.
“Do we know where they keep their vehicles?” Soap asks while fitting the comms over his clothes.
“Yeah, should be around where we first enter. Why?” Gaz raises a brow towards him.
A wicked smile spreads on Soap’s lips, “might be able to set up a little surprise for any newcomers.”
Ghost chuckles darkly, “always ready to craft a trap, aren’t you, Johnny?”
“Never failed me before, Simon.”
“You can take a look at our supplies, take whatever you need.” Price looks over each of them, “any questions?”
Soap flexes his hands, adrenaline thrumming a familiar song through his veins, anger painting his vision red, “what are we waiting for?”
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My media this week (21-27 Apr 2024)
📚 STUFF I READ 📚
😊 rounding third, sliding home. (througheden) - 68K, enjoyable steddie AU with pro baseball player Steven & massage therapist Eddie
🥰 Daddy Issues (His Boy Next Door #39) (RJ Moray) - reread; just a big fan of Jack & Channon & their ongoing story!
🥰 Common Ground (His Boy Next Door #40) (RJ Moray) - LOVE that Jack & Ewan are finding some common ground - really love that this series is showing how two people who don't particularly care for each other can work to find connection for the sake of the people they DO love
😍 ACT-verse series (ann_anotherthing) - truly outstanding series about middle-aged Steddie getting a 2nd chance romance after their first one flamed out 25 yrs earlier. Full series is 117K but it starts with A Certain Type (54K), which is a fully complete story with satisfying HEA - the rest are flashback fics or wonderfully indulgent epilogue/vignettes, full of fluffy and delicious porn. The author confesses to basically turning them into her middle-aged OCs but 1) I think her projections of their characters in middle-age with these particular life experiences seem reasonably plausible and more importantly 2) I don't fucking care because this story and these characters (main & supporting) are AMAZING.
💖💖 +227K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖
When you stop being a ghost in a shell (Bittersweet_in_Boston) - MCU: Stucky, 12K - Hydra finds Steve in 1952 & then they have The Asset and The Captain. Except they really should have known better than to ever let them see one another.
Where the Sunflowers Grow (AidaRonan) - Stranger Things: Buckingham, 30K - incredible Chrissy recovery fic with bonus Buckingham. Just. So Fucking Good.
Early Returns (rageprufrock) - Inception: Arthur/Eames, 15K - fabulous AU where Arthur's an editor who has everything on lock, dammit & Eames is a reporter who wants to mess him up. Also the newsroom is nothing but a high-pressure high school when it comes to gossip.
📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺
Murdoch Mysteries - s16, e14-20
Um, Actually - s9, e5; s1, e3, 4, 6-20
Game Changer - s6, e6
Smartypants - s1, e1
Ghosts (US) - s3, e9
D20: Fantasy High: Junior Year - "Untapped Rage" (s21, e16)
D20: Adventuring Party - "Honor the Cock" (s16, e16)
Dead Boy Detectives - s1, e1-3
🎧 PODCASTS 🎧
Worlds Beyond Number - WWW #13: Of the Gentle Sea
Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat for WWW ep13 "Of the Gentle Sea"
Worlds Beyond Number - WWW #14: There is an Ocean Vaster Than This One
Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat for WWW ep14 "There is an Ocean Vaster Than This One"
99% Invisible - The Power Broker #04: Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
What Next: TBD - The Internet Archive Endangered
⭐ The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Tree Week: A Tasty Tale about Meyer Lemons
⭐ The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Tree Week: Love Letters
The Sporkful - Priya Krishna Writes The Kids Cookbook She Wished She'd Had
The Allusionist - 193. Word Play 3: Lemon Demon
WikiHole - Cicadas…LIVE (with Matt Rogers, Carl Tart and Claudia O'Doherty)
In Defense of Fandom - Season 2 Episode 3: Fanfiction fixit data
Vibe Check - Her Mediocrity Cannot Touch Me
Code Switch - How Jewish Communities Are Divided Over Support of Israel
Short Wave - Beavers Can Help With Climate Change. So How Do We Get Along?
The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Tree Week: Oh, the places you will go …. to see these notable trees
⭐ Decoder Ring - Making Real Music for a Fake Band
Ologies with Alie Ward - Columbidology (PIGEONS? YES) Part 2 with Rosemary Mosco
All Songs Considered - Cruel songs for the cruelest month
Pop Culture Happy Hour - What Makes A Good Sex Scene?
The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Tree Week: Killer Trees with Mary Roach
Shedunnit - Agatha Christie's Many Houses
⭐ 99% Invisible #579 - Towers of Silence
Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat: Sound and Music Talkback Extravaganza: The Sound and the Fury: Music is All Around Us Volume 1
Dear Prudence - My love language with friends is touch, but it makes my partner jealous. Help!
Worlds Beyond Number - Fireside Chat for Chapter 1 of The Wizard the Witch and the Wild One
⭐ Endless Thread - The Jackie Show
Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat for LEVELING UP (1 to 2)
Today, Explained - Honey, We Saved the Bees
Wait Wait… Don't Tell Me! - Renée Elise Goldsberry
⭐ Hit Parade - The Bridge: What Made Them Beautiful
History Is Sexy - Episode #86 - Napoleon III
🎶 MUSIC 🎶
'80s Pop Party
Village People radio
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okay sorry one last one: 50, dealer's choice
50. rudely barging in on a white veil occasion (from this list)
you say dealer’s choice, I say DREW CREW! 🔎✨ set several years in the future so all these characters can legally drink and technically not be child brides, basically 🥂💍
After breaking several traffic laws to get there in record time, Nick and Ace barge in to the fitting area of Delia’s Bridal Shop in Augusta to find burn marks on the plush beige carpet as well as the remnants of several broken champagne glasses scattered on the floor. Nancy is standing center stage, as it were, grasping George by the arms but they both turn in surprise when the boys enter.
“Nancy, don’t!” Nick calls, first to act as always.
“Whatever you’re feeling right now,” Ace tries to say while still catching his breath after the sprint from the parking lot, “it’s not you. It’s the—!”
“Earrings,” Nancy replies flatly. “The ones Ryan gave me to wear, from the Hudson estate.”
“Yeah,” Nick says, cautiously, throwing a baffled look in Ace’s direction. “It turns out they belonged to one of the Women in White, and she—”
“Went crazy at her own wedding and killed a bunch of the guests,” George finishes for him, with a grim smile. “So, now they’re infused with her rage.”
“Yeah,” Ace responds, feeling his heart rate hesitantly returning to normal, “and it looks like Temperance held onto them and they got passed down through the Hudsons because…”
“She’s a nightmare person from Hell,” Bess says, nodding from an overstuffed chaise nearby, somehow managing to look both exhausted and blasé at the same time.
“Wait,” Nick says, gesturing at Nancy and George, “if you’re not in the midst of some bridal meltdown, how did you know about the earrings? And what’s with this mess?”
George gives Nancy an arch look. “Someone decided it might be nice to let the salesgirl try on her spooky family heirloom jewelry because she’s just sooo friendly and accommodating.”
At Nick and Ace’s mutual confused looks, Bess gestures to the corner, where a disheveled salesgirl is tied up in dressing room curtains and snoring gently as she presumably sleeps off the side effects of the curse, then holds up what Ace recognizes as her kit of spell components that she keeps in her purse.
“Magical first aid kit,” she announces proudly before taking a swig out of the last intact champagne flute, “never leave home without it!”
“How was I supposed to know the earrings were cursed?” Nancy asks, helplessly.
“Well, they are from the Hudsons,” Nick offers, getting a universal murmur of agreement from everyone else.
“Yeah, no more gifts or relics from that side of the family, please,” Ace says, moving to put his arm around her shoulders soothingly.
“Nothing older than twenty years, I promise,” she replies, leaning into his side. “Though, Bess did break the curse on the earrings, so…”
“Nancy!” Bess yells.
“Absolutely not,” Nick puts in.
“Not happening,” Ace objects.
“Ryan is rich. He can buy you new earrings,” George says, shaking her head and going to stand with Nick.
“Fine,” Nancy grumbles. “I guess we don’t need the risk of any extra bad luck for our wedding anyway.”
“Extra bad luck?” Ace asks. “Without the earrings, what do we have to worry about?”
Nancy bites her lip and looks uncomfortably at George and Bess. “Well, I know it’s old-fashioned, but it is considered bad luck to see the bride in her dress before the ceremony and…you’re, well…”
When she gestures down at her body, Ace notices her dress for the first time. It’s…big, with a lot of layers of tulle and…a lot more rhinestones around the neckline than he could have anticipated. The minute he spots the enormous bows down the back, he catches up and slaps a hand over his eyes.
“Oh, no! I’m sorry, I didn’t even think! I was so worried about the cursed earrings that I…”
“Goddammit,” George says.
Ace looks over at her, in case something else has suddenly gone wrong, only to find Nick trying desperately not to laugh while she glares at Nancy.
“Pay up, baby!” Nancy says, with a triumphant grin.
“What,” Ace says, not even bothering to make it a question.
“George bet me 20 bucks that I wouldn’t put this dress on and be able to convince you I was going to buy it,” Nancy says, patting his chest with her palm. “I was just going to text you a photo but you made it a lot easier by showing up. You should’ve seen your face.”
“That’s so mean,” Ace says, even as relief floods through him.
“As if I’d ever choose this dress of all things.”
“I’m still coming down from a panicked adrenaline high and I feel that I should be graded on a curve as a result.”
“Does that mean I don’t have to give Nancy twenty dollars?” George asks, as she fishes a bill out of her bra.
“Hell no,” Nancy replies, snatching it out of her hands. “Weddings are expensive.”
Ace nods at the damage around them. “Yeah, and I have a feeling these guys aren’t going to give us a discount.”
“Maybe there’s a matching wedding dress in the Hudson House of Horrors you could borrow,” Nick suggests.
“Don’t even joke about that,” Nancy says, darkly, curling even further into Ace’s side.
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