#cokehead!alex

[hostilemuppet]

Saw the JD & Floyd post and was about to say “Maybe he should” but then it just made me sad. Like damn he cares about his family to the detriment of himself, what does that say about his relationship with Creek. I think I remember you writing something about Floyd realizing he’s genuinely fallen in love with him.

you want me to show how much thought ive put into tdau floyd? the funny cokehead with commitment issues? the guy who posts thirst traps out of spite? okay (keep in mind that most of this is just what *I* think and hasnt been cleared with alex, but when i write for floyd its genuinely what i consider in the back of my mind)

i think he was 13 y/o when he went out on his own (1999), began seeing the rest of the troll tree for himself, until he finally escaped on his own at around 15 (2001), a year before the entire tribe was evacuated (2002). he hitch hiked a bit and got to see a bunch of tribes but he only really got to see techno reef and volcano rock city, staying in vrc a lot longer (LONG before barb was in power and turned rocks view on pop from "they fucked up a really long time ago but were safe from them now" to "we need to colonise them back") and discovering a lot about himself in the process

he turned 18 (2004) and, as most ex-child stars do, immediately went IN on hard drugs and sex with strangers, as if thats the test for proving your adulthood. and he had a good time! he spent most of his life drugged to the gills and unable to look himself in the mirror the rare moments he was sober, but, yknow. details. then he got bored. and he went travelling again

at the age of 20 (2006) he left troll kingdom entirely. obviously he stayed CLEAR of bergen town (and silently prayed to whatever god pop trolls typically believe in that his family were safe and undigested). but he saw all sorts of places! places we havent seen yet, with species we havent seen yet, of extremely varying sizes! hell, he mightve met a species or two that are smaller than trolls! imagine that. but spending years travelling, it gets lonely. he never got to connect with anyone. hell, he never even had a real boyfriend! the most he had was that situationship he had that lasted 5 weeks before he got ghosted when that techno troll got back with his girlfriend. (its okay though, he channels his pain into his art, and that was one became his most popular song on bandcamp by a significant margin!)

at 27 years old (2013) he arrived in mount rageous. sure, they were huge, and he was terrified of being eaten, obviously. but they didnt want to eat him! they thought he was cute. and, he wont lie, he liked the attention. he became a novelty, that tiny little creature with his even tinier guitar, who apparently built up such a tolerance he can handle mount rageon drugs. imagine doing blow with stewert little. they loved him, as entertainment. he still didnt have anyone who loved him as a person, but at that point he was willing to settle.

when hes 36 (2023) he gets kidnapped by velvet & veneer, and of course no one thought to look for him. you wouldnt notice if the mouse in your house suddenly went missing. at most youd think someone you live with finally took care of it, and youd move on with your life.

the events of the movie happen, hes reunited with his siblings, he actually feels valued as a person again, AND to top it all off, those two months in the bottle did WONDERS for detoxing. next time he tries pop troll coke he actually feels a buzz! he never thought hed see the day!

brozone reunite, we see the early days of their career carry out in the au. floyd feels like hes on top of the world. hes got his family back, hes back in pop village (albeit, its a different pop village than he knew. hell, they used to all it troll village back then!) hes releasing actual music again, and not just busking for tips (its okay he didnt need much, he rented out a mouse hole for cheap). but he wants an actual connection. he wants a relationship. but hes never actually had that! hes never even felt respected by a potential partner! so he goes back to random hookups. and, yknow, its fun, he guesses. but he wants more

the first troll who seems to actually take interest in him as anything more than a hot piece of ass or "that guy from brozone" rocks his world. hes ashamed to admit that after knowing the guy for 3 hours he already thought about spending the rest of his life with him. he just wasnt used to being spoken to like a person by anyone other than immediate family members! its okay though, he couldnt scare him off, because he was being paid to be there, and after recording himself getting in floyds pants (the only way he knows how to show affection at this point) it was all over the internet

so, you know, obviously floyd wasnt doing great. hes gotten good at hiding his feelings (not like anyone really cares about them anyway) but he was clearly struggling. he did what he does best, and turned it into a joke, so maybe itd hurt a little less. he probably made it worse, but at least he was numb now. he goes back to hookups, deciding hell never have an actual boyfriend, hell never get married, and hes okay with that. well, hes clearly not, but its not like anyone ever asked, so he has to deal.

then he meets creek. and at this point hes not stupid. hes not that naive little kid anymore, and when he wakes up the next morning and realises his newest one night stand was that guy, the asshole, the one who everyone hates, he knows hes the butt of the joke, again. theres probably a camera, again. he leaves before creek wakes up.

but then he meets him again, a few days later. and creek says how much of a shame it is he never got his digits. and floyd doesnt know what to make of this. but he knows he shouldnt trust him. he heard everything riff said about him, everything BRANCH said about him. he knows every one of creeks crimes. but maybe he just wants to have some fun, yknow? everyones always fucking with him, maybe he wants to play around sometime. show the world hes not some little helpless doll.

what follows is about a year and a half of gay chicken on expert mode. creek pretends to love floyd. floyd pretends he doesnt know creeks pretending. floyd feels in control, almost. he gets comfortable. he refuses to believe its love, how could it be love? theyre awful to each other. but its, technically, his first real relationship. he tries not to think about it.

maybe encouraging creek to propose was a little more than seeing how far he can push him before he snaps. maybe he wanted to prove that hes worth it, even if the other guy wasnt. maybe he genuinely cried when he got angelinas egg, even if hed rather die than let creek see him express genuine emotions. he knows hes the sensitive one, but hes more than brozone. hes a person. a person that people dont ever seem to want to know.

then he realises. hes not the only one whos gotten comfortable. creek looks... not happy, exactly. but content. and floyd thinks thats terrifying. its too far, thats not how any of this was supposed to work. it was REVENGE. floyd was fucking with him, because creek was fucking with him first! now hes married, hes MARRIED, with KIDS, TWINS! THAT HE NAMED! and he loves them! and he loves creek! and creek loves him! hes gonna be sick. he cant do this. he cant be here. he lives in a mansion but its suffocating him. he leaves. he divorces creek.

hes miserable again. jd doesnt notice bc hes "the sensitive one", and his other brothers dont know how to bring it up without making it worse. branch is the only one who asks how hes holding up, but he just says hes fine, hell bounce back. he doesnt bounce back

when he meets creek again, he wants to cry. he wants to get on his hands and knees and beg him to take him back, but he has a LITTLE bit of self respect left. when he finds out creek missed him too its more than he can take. when they get drunk, and floyd forces jd to re-marry them, floyd actually feels like a person. a broken person, who healed in a creek-shaped mould, but a person nonetheless. and maybe thats all he can ask for

[darkangel0410]

Rules: post the last sentence from your 10 most recently posted fics (less if you don't have 10 is also fine).

Tagged by @007waffles007 (thanks bae 😘😘😘)

feel like fuckin' or somethin' - He tries to sound cool, barely interested even, but it falls flat and he doesn’t need to look at Yorkie’s face to know he’s smirking when he wraps a hand around Tyson’s wrist and leads him to wherever Jamie’s at.

love is about pain - He sets his teeth in Nolan’s shoulder, wraps his hand around Nolan’s soft dick and says, “But let’s see if we can get you really going, baby.”, the mean edge that’s back in his voice makes Nolan’s purring break off into a whine, already eager for more.

leading me to you (isn't it pretty?) - His face is pressed into Brendan’s neck, purring loudly, even as they hear Bords and Moyler bitching through the wall about all the noise they’re making.

what a big heart i have - “But you better not forget it goes both ways,” he goes on, biting Thom’s chin in a clear, playful challenge that Thom’s eager to answer.

don't say you're sorry - He pulls out of Trevor's mouth, ignoring the distressed noise Trevor lets out, and strokes himself and comes all over Trevor's face and pretends it's someone else.

this is love (shut up) - “Always,” Trevor promises, framing Alex’s face with his hands, pressing a deep kiss to his mouth before he starts licking the blood from his face off, humming at the visceral proof of Alex’s love for him.

so real it feels fake - . “Me, too, Adamo,” he agrees before kissing him.

i'd never say no to you - It’s going to be a good night.

we have to take our clothes off - There’s some jostling on the bed, but Jamie’s not really paying attention, exhaustion is starting to set it: a day spent out in the sun on top of getting fucked through the mattress is making his eyes close again.

the way they love me - Connor lets out a deep breath, weighs what he has now against what Jack’s offering him, and sends back, see you soon, before he books a flight to Las Vegas.

Tagging: @frostbeees @coricomile @cokehead-zeroed and anyone else who wants to do it!!!

[sionisjaune]

sionisjaune's fic masterlist

ao3 | writing tag | fic rec tag

★ on ao3

a better love deserving of - Lewis/Toto, Dubious Consent, Rough Sex, 3k, rated E

historia abscondita - Mick/Nico, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Enemies to Lovers, 30k, rated E

says he’s gonna teach me just what fast is - Mick/Lewis/Nico, 15k, rated E

days of oblivion - Lewis/Nico, Alternate Universe - Doctor Who Fusion, 6k, rated T

a whole lot for me to settle - Seb/Christian, girl!Seb, Non-Linear Narrative, 2k, rated E

the slimy moonlit riverbed canopied with devastated clouds - Lewis/Nico, Spanish GP 2023, 6k, rated E

the movie called planet of love - Lewis/Nico, Hungarian GP 2023, 7k, rated E

the stairs in lamplight - Lewis/Nico, British GP 2024, 5k, rated E

on golden sands (part 1 of heist AU) - Seb/Lewis/Nico, Ocean's 11 AU, 6k, rated T

the ships that go sailing (part 2 of heist AU) - Seb/Lewis/Nico, Ocean's 11 AU, 12k, rated E

those who miss each other - Seb/Charles, travel influencer Charles, 8k, rated E

soul as sweet as blood-red jam - Lando/Carlos, mafia AU, 2k, rated E

feedback on low latency - Max/Daniel, internalized homophobia, 12k incomplete, tentatively rated E

soft rock star - Nico/Lewis, infidelity, 1.5k, rated E

★ for the f1 kinkmeme

want you to be my girl - Lewis/Nico, genderswap, fisting, 3k, rated E

your other one evaporate - Seb/Nico, genderswap, Nico is the princess of Monaco, 4k, rated E

for freedom and for pleasure - Lewis/Bono, d/s dynamics, Ferrari angst, 4k, rated E

send vibrations - Lewis/Bono and Lewis/Nico, 3k, rated E you take it, i dish it - Seb/Lewis/Nico, girl!Seb, 5k, rated E i think you like it, laughed when you came down - Nico/Jenson, girl!Nico, 3k, rated E got a mood about me but no one to love me - Seb/Christian, girl!Seb, 2k, rated E

★ tumblr fic

George/Alex sex shop meet cute

A Charles/Damiano scrap

Mick/Nico fantasy AU

fucked up brocedes hunger games au

Post-Met Gala 2016 Nico/Lewis with background Lewis/Miles

STEMcedes (Nico/Lewis)

Part 2 (a prequel)

Problematic sebcedes polyamory

Part 2 (aftermath of the failed threesome)

Part 3 (hospital room visit)

Girl!Nico/Jenson ballet AU (background Nico/Lewis)

Mick/Nico corporate AU

Mick/Lewis getting together (implied Seb/Mick/Lewis)

Space opera princess cake

Part 2 (Jenson arrives for the wedding)

Part 3 (the pre-wedding party)

The brocedes movie screenplay

Seb/Nico but they're girls on a high school soccer team

Nico is a street racer (and does a lot of cocaine) and Lewis is an F1 driver (the street racing cokehead nico tag contains related thoughts)

Part 2 (now with 100% more sex)

Part 3 (feat. Jenson Button)

Part 4 (Nico crashes)

Part 5 (more crash aftermath)

Part 6 (a quiet moment)

Part 7 (carseat makeouts)

Part 8 (a conversation)

Part 9 (platonic princess cake)

Part 10 (a reunion)

Nico/Lewis phone call after Interlagos 2022

Part 2: Spain 2023

Lewis is a journalist and Seb is an F1 driver

The original Carlos/Lando mafia drabble

Nico/Lewis high school AU (featuring Jenson)

Nico/Lewis subtle psychic powers AU

Max/Daniel Captive Prince AU

★ prompt fic

Smut dialogue prompts

PWP prompts

Trope mash up prompts

Breakup prompts

Kiss prompts

Finish the sentence prompts

Setting prompts

Holiday gift ficlets

Dialogue prompts

[mariautistic]

earlier on call with alex i misheard coquette as cokehead and was having a really hard time understanding why the dark academia girls were calling rory gilmore from gilmore girls that.

[jimsmovieworld]

FINAL DESTINATION 2- 2003 ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Kimberly has a premonition of a fatal car pileup on the highway that will kill her and her friends and lots more people. She does what she can to stop it and saves herself and few strangers in the cars behind her. After the accident, the survivors start to be killed in freak accidents....

A real mixed bag sequel. Theres some stuff in this i really like and some i really dont.

Starting with the positives....

Some very good kills. The car pileup is excellent and is solely responsible for people refusing to drive behind these damn log trucks in real life.

Some funny characters and moments. Millionaire spaghetti man is funny. The scene where the cokehead asks Kimberly to get rid of all his porn and drug paraphernalia is hilarious. Also, when watching last night with my sister, we couldnt stop laughing at the hilarious character arc of Eugene.

Every final destination group of survivors has this character type. The cynic who doesnt believe the other survivors that death is coming for them. But then when he finally realises it is goes completely mental and has a meltdown. Eugenes downward spiral was particularly funny due to the whack ass clothes he wears.

Also enjoyed the Tony Todd cameo.

The things im not crazy about:

Kimberly is fucking boring! Her police officer love interest is dull! These two absolutely suck and drag the overall film quality down.

Great to see Ali Larter back as Clear Rivers but dont think she was used that well....

Shes in some weird mental asylum you can leave anytime you like. The only thing in her room is a funny vision board with silly post its written on it that just say "deaths design!" and stuff like that. No way she wrote that. When she gets out and helps the survivors find clues it never really feels like she has any great moments. Maybe not much chemistry with the aforementioned Kim and Cop who she interacts the most with. Then she perishes in a double death with Eugenes dumb ass? Disappointing. Would have rather she lived.

Devon Sawa was set to reprise his role as Alex but a contract dispute prevented it.

I havent seen this in a long time and went into it thinking the pregnant woman was Eva Longoria for some reason.

Her whole storyline doesnt really work either to be honest.

The whole film isnt bad i do enjoy it but just seems no where near as good as 1 or 3.

[raweceek18]

Pls y did no one tell me that F1 was so eventful, I so wasn't adequately prepared to enter this fandom 😭😭.

Like Christian Horner might be a cokehead. Toto Wolff and Lawrence Stroll are probably white collar criminals. There wasn't a race last week but points got awarded and fans didn't get refunded. Lewis Hamilton was on the track alone ready to race? Pierre Gasly called for sausages. Mick's seat didn't fit properly so Sebastian Vettel had to call his mother like the true parental figure he is. Lewis and Max had a racing incident and Christian said 'Alex pls cosplay as Lewis for us'. The weather at Spa malfunctioned cause the universe couldn't see George do good but the universe felt generous and gave George a podium in the most George way possible. The FIA said 'we race as one so therefore we will allow a boob - grabber to join our ranks'.

There's probably so much more (yall should reblog) weird stuff that happened.

Like pls, yall could have warned me.

And people ask why I'm always so on edge like Lewis doesn't post a thirst trap every week.

ALSO THIS ALL HAPPENED THIS SEASON AND THERES LIKE RACES LEFT SO IMAGINE WHT ELSE IS TO COME.

Some wholesome honorable mentions cause Spa gave us some wholesome stuff.

1. Mick and Seb playing football

2. Dan entertaining the crowd but also demonstrating his choking kink by choking Michael

3. The Alpine mechanics doing the macarena

4. Lando sleeping

5. Sewis probably whispering sweet nothings to each other whilst also hand feeding each other chocolate covered strawberries (yh I've thought about this scenario a lot... sue me)

6. Carlos and Charles playing on their phones and smiling fondly at one another

Some not to wholesome honorable mentions

1. That rbr mechanic almost dying

2. All the teams being confused on if the race had even started

3. The full race not happening and then awarding points but not refunding the spectators.

Basically congrats to Max, George and Lewis but like I'm scared but also simultaneously intrigued by this strange yet entertaining sport cause these pretty but dumb boys have my whole heart.

Thank u for listening to my PSA.

[vroomvroomvettel]

Cokehead Horner drama headcanons that just make sense to me:

Sergio is selling coke to horner

Sergio and yuki are both drug sellers but yukie wont get an investigation so sergio does it in f1

Alex is the first person who would go to the police to revenge himself, Pierre, Daniil and mark for the toxic red bull things

Max is horners coke bro

Lewis are searching for an therapie place for horner, cause he want help him

Seb told horner that he shouldnt do coke cause its an bad exaple for the grid kids

Mattia is like: Wtf why didnt i notice it

the Fia gives him a 5 second penalty for not clean the bathroom after doing drugs there

[capcarolsdanver]

Is it true that Alex is a cokehead? Was Brie into drugs as well considering Alex’s friend group are apparently into drugs? She used to hang out with them most especially with Alex.

Yeah lmao

Nah as far as I’m aware Brie never got involved and I would bet that those habits of the friend group are really what made Brie distance herself from them

[darkangel0410]

WRITING QUESTIONS TAG GAME

what is your absolute all-time favorite idea you’ve ever had? I pretty much love all my ideas, tbh, but probably the godlings verse and necromancer au

what is your favorite part of being a writer? which parts could you take or leave? One of my favorites is worldbuilding, hands down - making up new ways to have werewolves or soulmates or magic or vampires, how would they work? How would their world work??? I love answering that. I also love taking my faves and putting them in different places and saying, 'ok now how are you different? who are you now? are you still you??'

Least favorite is editing which is a crime against me personally, no matter how necessary it is

what is your greatest motivation to write/create? I have mostly two motivations which is 1. whatever I want to read isn't there so I have to write it myself, and 2. I want to know what happens when I put Brendan Brisson in the middle of an urban fantasy verse and make him a witch - what happens when I put Trevor Zegras and Alex Turcotte in Fall Out Boy and make Jamie Drysdale Mikeyway? What happens? I want to find out so I write

wait, actually there's a third reason: spite - that speaks for itself I'm sure lmao

what is your favorite story you’ve written to completion? link it if you’d like and can! every fic I finish is my favorite on some level, and there's definitely some recency bias at work, but probably trouble at my door (necromancer au)

what is your favorite out-of-the-box quote? of my fics? hmmmm well, I do have one that I wrote recently that I'm really happy with,, because it's amusing to me and pretty much sums up Trevor in this verse, it's from my cali ot3 FOB au WIP, so I guess have a sneak peek:

Alex's voice is low and mean; it would have sent anyone who knew him running, except Trevor who didn't have the self-preservation instincts nature gave a lemming.

which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? why do you say so and how do you personally feel about their ideals? Probably any of the werewolves from my bleed out for you verse because they're basically horror movie werewolves who consider people animals, and they're a blast to write but you know, I'm pretty glad I don't live there lol

if you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think? I started telling stories when I was like six, so I imagine past-me would have a lot to say about everything, lmaooo, and also want to know why I was writing that fraggle rock/he-man crossover I used to act out with my toys???

Tagging: @007waffles007 @adamsgirl42 @coricomile @candy-belle @cokehead-zeroed @frostbeees @hard4softthings and anyone else who wants to do it!!

[theyoungturks]

Notorious conspiracy theorist Alex Jones came to Donald Trump Jr.’s defense regarding claims that Don Jr. is a “cokehead” due to his high-energy speeches. If that wasn’t absurd enough, Jones compared Don Jr.’s oratory skills to Martin Luther King Jr.’s skill. Yikes. Cenk Uygur, Adrienne Lawrence, and Rayyvana discuss on The Young Turks. Watch LIVE weekdays 6-8 pm ET. http://youtube.com/theyoungturks/live Read more HERE: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/jones-don-jr-speaker-mlk-b2033477.html "Alex Jones says Donald Trump Jr is not on cocaine but instead is a high energy speaker and a great orator like Martin Luther King. The far-right InfoWars host said he was tired of critics slamming the eldest son of the one-term president and defended him against allegation of drug taking. Last month Don Jr gave a rambling speech at CPAC in which he said, “Crack’s not really my thing, but it would be fine if I was on that [Democratic] side.” Jones defended Don Jr on his show on Thursday, mocking their critics. “They say Don Jr is a cokehead because he is high energy, they also said that about me,” he said. “You have got the wrong guy, I don’t need stimulants. Anything alcohol I’ve done off and on over the years because it lowers me down.” He accused critics of not understanding as “the left doesn’t have any energy folks.” Jones then tried to convince his audience of Don Jr’s world class skills as a speaker. “They don’t get like Don Jr gives a powerful speech and, I mean he is really becoming a good orator, one of the best,” he added." *** The largest online progressive news show in the world. Hosted by Cenk Uygur and Ana Kasparian. LIVE weekdays 6-8 pm ET. Help support our mission and get perks. Membership protects TYT's independence from corporate ownership and allows us to provide free live shows that speak truth to power for people around the world. See Perks: ▶ https://www.youtube.com/TheYoungTurks/join SUBSCRIBE on YOUTUBE: ☞ http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=theyoungturks FACEBOOK: ☞ http://www.facebook.com/TheYoungTurks TWITTER: ☞ http://www.twitter.com/TheYoungTurks INSTAGRAM: ☞ http://www.instagram.com/TheYoungTurks TWITCH: ☞ http://www.twitch.com/tyt 👕 Merch: http://shoptyt.com ❤ Donate: http://www.tyt.com/go 🔗 Website: https://www.tyt.com 📱App: http://www.tyt.com/app 📬 Newsletters: https://www.tyt.com/newsletters/ If you want to watch more videos from TYT, consider subscribing to other channels in our network: The Damage Report ▶ https://www.youtube.com/thedamagereport TYT Sports ▶ https://www.youtube.com/tytsports The Conversation ▶ https://www.youtube.com/tytconversation Rebel HQ ▶ https://www.youtube.com/rebelhq TYT Investigates ▶ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwNJt9PYyN1uyw2XhNIQMMA #TYT #TheYoungTurks #BreakingNews 220311__BE01AlexJonesDonJrSpeech by The Young Turks

[darkangel0410]

First lines/Last 10 fics

Saw this going around and decided I any as well do it, so: first lines of my last 10 fics and then I'll tag ten (maybe lol) people to do the same thing.

trouble at my door - Thom stumbles into the back entrance of the arena and passes two guards he doesn’t recognize; he absently wonders if Kent sends pictures of him to all the new people, so they don’t think he’s some homeless guy who wandered in somehow.

feels so good (giving me your love) - Adam wakes up in a bad mood.

ultra kind of love - Jamie’s trying to stay away from Trevor tonight - they spend a lot of time hanging out already and he should be able to spend some time on his own - but he’s bored, so he thinks he may as well see what Trevor’s doing.

they think they need you (but not as much as I do) - “God, look at you,” Alex says, his hand tightening around the back of Jamie’s neck; he nudges Jamie’s legs further apart with his knees, and squeezes Jamie’s hip to keep him still as sinks into him.

you'll be ours (and we'll be yours) - Quinn’s door is cracked open a few inches so Charlie doesn’t bother knocking when he goes to see what Quinn wants for dinner, just nudges it far enough to lean inside and ask, “Hey, what did you -”

a hotter touch (baby, it will always be me) - It seems like everyone he knows is here, getting drunk and celebrating, and usually having all his boys in one place is enough to put Jack in a good mood, never mind when it’s only a few days after he’s just been drafted first overall.

my heart's a compass (you're north) - Leon doesn’t usually think about it, but the first time he meets Noah - properly, that is, not in the middle of a game or right after - Noah is hitting on a sub, one of the local Boston guys that he and Eichel know.

go ahead, drive me insane - Cam knows something’s going on the moment he sees Cole on his phone screen.

please let me (if you say I can) - “Look at you,” Owen murmurs as he leans back on his heels. Brendan's stretched out in front of him, hands over his head, wrists crossed, staying still despite not being restrained in any way; his legs spread wide to accommodate Owen sitting in between them.

feeling you (breathing slow) - Brendan used to think he had a good handle on his dynamic.

Tagging: @007waffles007 @adamsgirl42 @coricomile @cokehead-zeroed @frostbeees and anyone else who wants to do it!

[zmediaoutlet]

#cokehead!Alex #--I think that's my only tag for him My friend, we are kindred spirits. My main tag for that gorgeous disaster is #my favorite coked out dive bar slut. 💕 (Your background story for him gives me life, by the way. Cokehead, trust fund baby Alex is all I've ever needed.)

haha, buuuud, high five! He just gives off such a cokebaby vibe, honestly. What the hell is his instagram. In fact–let’s see–

—-

Warm today, in the sunshine. Alex stretches out, lazy, the lawnchair creaking under him. The pool’s tiny and honestly it’s been a long time since anyone cleaned it, but he’s considering a dip, anyway. He licks his lips, looking at the empty blue sky. No clouds, except the big blue cloud. Warm, and he can feel the warm on his lips, and in the silky inside of his cheek while he tongues slowly against it. He chews the inside of his mouth, contemplative, eyes unseeing, and thinks about the water. How it’ll be cool, and the dead leaves will stick to his arms, and how he could sit on the bottom and brush his hands against the silty dirt and watch it bloom up in brown clouds. There’d be clouds. That’d be cool.

“Hey there,” someone says, and Alex blinks at the sky, and wonders. “Darling, I’m not God, I’m not up in the sky. You’ll have to turn your head.”

Oh. Alex turns his head. A–man. Older, grey in his beard, and a Dodgers cap faded blue over his dark hair, and sunglasses. Leaning on the chain-link gate, smiling at him. “Hey there, beautiful,” the guy says, and Alex smiles back, turns on his side.

“Hi,” he says. Oh. That was hard, to say. He says it again, hi, and again, and the man raises his eyebrows so they can be seen over the top of the sunglasses, and laughs soft. That’s a nice sound. Alex licks his lips again, tips his own sunglasses down on his nose. The world washes out whiter, but he feels like it helps him concentrate. “Hi,” he says, again, and the guy nods.

“Hello,” he says, and then tilts his head toward the house. “You a friend of the boys?”

Boys–oh. Jared and Jensen. “I live here now,” he says, and he thinks–yeah. That’s true. He gave them a stack of money and they said he could stay as long as he wanted. “Do you live here too?”

He wouldn’t mind if that were so. The man shakes his head, though, grinning. “No, we can’t all be that lucky.” He reaches down, and unlatches the gate. Alex watches him, lazy. “What are you doing down in Lincoln Heights, beautiful? You’ve got Trousdale all over you.”

He walks across the crunchy grass, and Alex watches him, and then he’s standing right there at the end of the chair, and Alex watches him. Handsome. Smells like–mm. “My parents live in Carbon Mesa,” Alex says, belatedly, and the guy nods, serious, but still with his mouth turned up at the corners. What a great smile. “Your smile is pretty,” he says. He stretches out again, arms over his head, and sighs. “You should smile a lot.”

It gets wider. “Oh, I do,” the guy says, and sits down by Alex’s bare feet, and smiles, and smiles. “I was coming to make a delivery to the boys, but I’m glad I met you. What’d you take, honey?”

“Oh,” Alex says, shrugging. “You know.”

The sky’s still so big. The man puts his hand on Alex’s calf, and it’s warm, and big too. “Sure I do,” he says, easy. “Well. I help out Jared and Jensen with getting things they need, and I could help you out, too. You just say the word, all right?” With his other hand he takes a card out of his front shirt pocket, and holds it out for Alex to take, which he does, after a minute of just looking. James David Morrison, it says, when he can get his eyes to focus on it. Accountant. He raises his eyebrows, looking this guy up and down. “You’re an accountant?”

Big grin. White teeth, and his beard. Alex wants to touch it–and does, sitting up, feeling the prickle of it under his fingers. Oh–oh, it feels–so good. “Call me JD,” the man says, letting Alex do it, and squeezes his calf. “And I can do all sorts of things. You just let me know, beautiful, and I’ll make it so. Capiche?”

“Capisce,” Alex says, pronouncing it correctly, and JD laughs soft again, and catches his hand, and kisses his fingertips. Alex curls his finger, gets an impression of the wet inside, and JD slides his hand up Alex’s thigh to where his swim-shorts end and squeezes again, firm. Alex blinks, breathes. Feels so good.

JD sighs. “You’re going to be hell on my composure, darling,” he says, and kisses Alex’s knuckles again before he stands up. “I was going to say, tell the boys I stopped by, but I don’t think you’ll remember. I’ll try to stop by when they’re not filming. In the meantime–you want anything else to make you this happy again, you just call that number.” He nods at the card, still in Alex’s fingers, and Alex nods back, serious. Another smile. “All right, then. See you around, honey.”

He tips his fingers to the brim of his cap, saluting, and then walks off. Alex watches him go–oh, lean hips, and his shoulders, as he closes the gate again, as he waves. Hm. Alex puts his fingers in his mouth, tastes, but can’t tell if it’s his own salt or JD’s lips. Worth figuring out, sometime. There are so many things he wants–but for now, he sighs, and lays back on the lawn chair. Maybe JD would come swimming with him, sometime. He’ll have to ask Jensen if he thinks so. For now–the sky’s just so blue.

[zmediaoutlet]

omg your writing is just out of this world? i am in love with it nd u wow when are u gonna give us something new😩😩

It’s always nice to get a declaration of love! I hope this means that I’ll be receiving flowers and chocolates and a serenading messenger (from an acceptably safe distance behind my screen door)!

This seems like a good opportunity to write down my to-do list. I’ve got an excel spreadsheet which is called FIC YOU SHOULD BE WRITING, and it yells at me (the first cell just reads: Write, dumbass. -- it’s a mean spreadsheet ;-; ), but sometimes it’s good to have a little external accountability. And who knows, maybe one or two of you guys might get a little tiny bit of anticipation out of it. There’s a chance! So.

1. a little fic for the SMPC, due this Sunday. (I was shamefully non-participatory for a while--trying to get back on that horse.) This’ll be another cokehead!Alex story, because he’s fun, though this time it’s the party where he meets J2. Just a short thing.

2. next chapter of the Letters!AU. If you are one of the like 5 people who was interested in that story, I completely accept the hollow laugh you might be laughing right now. Still, I came to a kind of peace with myself that it’s just not going to be the story I envisioned it’d be, so--now I know there’s going to be a Twist to write toward, and that has made me a little more able to continue.

3. next chapter of the Kushiel-verse J2 AU. After--what, two years?--of it sitting unopened, I’ve written 3k! my god, right? Amazing. We’re starting at a bit of a timeskip from the end of chapter 2--Jared’s 18, and a little more established as a courtesan, but Something Is Going On with Jensen and he knows not what. oho, mystery.

4. a case fic (shock, horror) that I owe my good bud @alulaspeaks. I had good reasons for not being able to finish it (for once), but I’m determined to. I think it’ll be pretty good--the writing style is a little bit of a tweak from my usual, and I’m really enjoying the Dean in it. Something is going wrong in the woods in Pennsylvania, and Sam just wishes he could touch Dean’s skin again.

5. ...idk. I have so many friggin stories on my to-do list. What do you guys think? Any opinions? Never know, if you give me an idea you might just get it. ...after like six months, admittedly, but it might happen!

[zmediaoutlet]

Your tags on the winchester family photo are cracking me up. Coke head boytoy Alex haha holy shit though.

I am in love with cokehead!Alex and the whole ‘verse I’ve built around him. Soon he will manifest, with all his sketchy buds. It’ll be a good relaxation fic to write, I think. Things about cokehead!Alex:

- he’s a trust fund kid who has found his way to a weird roommate situation - his roommates are J2, who have camsex and are verified amateurs on pornhub and they just make a lot of noise at all hours - in between the coke he just smokes a LOT of weed and sits on the lawnchair in the backyard. it’s a nice backyard. - his dealer is JDM, and JDM is very relaxed and louche and grody and just all the things you’d want a grody dealer JDM to be, and Alex quite likes the way he wears those pale dadjeans, yes he does

[zmediaoutlet]

my year of fic (2020)

I had a lapse in doing this, because the end of 2019 was just---a haze---but I thought it might be fun to try again on this, my first day off of 2021. Ignoring for a moment the armed sedition and the pandemic and the general feeling like the world’s about to spin upside down, I think it might be a good day. Let me try to feel some joy in writing, so that I might do some more writing this weekend. There’s a chance!

Per the AO3 stats tracker:

Total words written in 2020: 278,664 (Compared to 2019: 201,375 -- definite improvement!) That brings the overall AO3 published total to: 1,160,723. Jesus. I need another hobby, haha.

I’ll try to collect a year masterlist below, but let’s see what happened with stats first.

fic with most hits, which is not the same thing as best: no disguising truths i’ve sold -- y’all are fiends for the dadsex, just admit it. It always gives me a giggle how many hits these ones have with so few people actually interacting. :)

fic with most kudos, which I guess means people admitted they liked it: there will be better days -- which I guess isn’t a surprise, written when it was, but it’s still super gratifying to see that people enjoyed it. This one takes top spot for most of the other categories, too, so I’m going to go for the 2nd-placers on the next few...

fic with (2nd-)most comment threads, which I guess means people wanted to chat about it: In a Cursed Hour, which is a pleasant surprise! This is the very long gen (with sneaky pining!Dean), the first part of which was technically finished this year. I hope I come back to it at some point, because the story is... great, haha. Just super hard to write. Gratifying that people wanted to talk about it!

fic with (2nd-)most bookmarks, which I guess means people want to read it again: see things so much clearer -- aw, now that’s a nice surprise! This kinda felt like channeling old-school weecest, in some ways, so it’s cool that people seem to have enjoyed it.

fic with (2nd)-most subscriptions, which I guess means people are hoping for more: welcome to capitalism -- another nice surprise! I almost forgot about this one: a little ruthless, a little kind. Logical choices in a world that sucks, kind of my favorite genre, haha.

longest fic: what comes after certainty -- ow, ow. This is a---strange one---started in 2019 before the haze, published finally in a bit of ignominy, still not read by the recipient I’m pretty sure because it’s fucking depressing, haha. But I’m kinda proud of it, or at least proud of myself for finishing it, so I guess it’s good that I spent this many words on it.

least popular fic, if we’re going by kudos: transference -- lol, that makes sense -- Umbrella Academy momcest? That said tho, it’s kinda fun and you should read it. Diego’s just the biggest mommy’s boy. Ahem.

The best thing writing-wise about this year was stretching into stuff I wouldn’t normally write, thanks to the charity drives. Maybe I’ll try to do that again this year; I’m sure something horrific will happen that will need some monetary support.

In the meantime, here are all of the fics I wrote this year, in order that they were written. Probably Sam/Dean unless otherwise specified. Imagine retrospective montage music:

January

none. no surprise here.

February

the hollow summer - E. Boy King Sam, AU.

March

‘he has a kiss stuck in his mouth’ - M. Pining!Dean, Stanford era.

no disguising truths i’ve sold - E. John/Deanna, pre-series.

“I almost died” - T. Jared/Jensen, firefighter!Jared fluff.

‘sam waking dean up with his mouth’ - E, somnophilia, married!sex.

relay - E, D/s play.

April

extreme pollen warning - E, sex pollen, established relationship.

whatever we were before - E, Dragon Age AU, mage!Sam/warrior!Dean.

‘cokehead!Alex’ - T. Alex/JDM; part one.

pragmatics - E. Established wincest, past Dean/others. Prostitution.

May

teamwork (makes the dream work) - Alex/Jared/Jensen. cokehead!verse pt 2.

to dream of the next - E. First time, pining!Sam.

In a Cursed Hour: Protesting Fate Supreme - T. Men of Letters AU, ch.6.

June

FFFB 1 - M. Gabriel/Rowena, meeting through the years.

FFFB 2 - E. A/B/O, first time.

FFFB 3 - E. Jensen/Jeff, voyeur!Jared, Non-AU.

FFFB 4 - M. Cloud/Sephiroth, mindfuck.

FFFB 5 - M. Amos/Alex, pantykink.

FFFB 6 - E. Dubcon shading to noncon, pining!Dean.

FFFB 7 - M. Hannibal/Will, first kiss.

FFFB 8 - E. Post-Michael possession, piercings, body mods.

FFFB 9 - M. Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, AU.

FFFB 10 - M. Dean/Bobby, Stanford era.

FFFB 11 - E. Mommy!kink, bunker era.

FFFB 12 - M. Gen, Sam’s wall, mild self-harm.

FFFB 13 - M. Sam Wilson & Bucky Barnes, racial discussion.

FFFB 14 - M. s2, Sam’s cast.

FFFB 15 - E. Jared/Jensen, established relationship, CBT.

FFFB 16 - E. weecest, first time.

FFFB 17 - M. Sam/Dean/Jack.

FFFB 18 - M. Amnesia.

FFFB 19 - E. BDSM, sub!Dean, dildos.

FFFB 20 - E. A/B/O, demon!Dean, noncon.

FFFB 21 - T. Established relationship, Stanford discussion.

FFFB 22 - E. Dubcon, time travel, soulless!Sam/young!Dean, prostitution.

FFFB 23 - M. Implied Dean/John, jealous!Sam.

FFFB 24 - E. ‘The End’!verse, Lucifer!Sam/Dean, noncon.

FFFB 25 - E. Tentacles, body horror, oviposition.

FFFB 26 - E. Belly bulge!kink.

July

none. apparently I needed a break.

August

have a cigar - E. Sam’s powers, slight D/s.

welcome to capitalism - E. Jared/Jensen, prostitution.

September

the wealth gap - E. ‘capitalism’ pt 2; Jared/Jensen, prostitution.

what comes after certainty - M. Mutual pining, amnesia.

reunion theory - E. Cloud/Sephiroth, Cloud/Hojo. Body horror, torture, mpreg. Fic for fire relief 1.

the honeytrap - E. Jared/Jensen, mob!AU. FFFR 2.

scotch courage - M. Sam/Kevin, hair play. FFFR 3.

he will tear your city down - E. Damen/Laurent, slight D/s. FFFR 4.

cyrano - E. Jensen/Antony Starr, established J2. D/s, consensual infidelity. FFFR 5.

two runners on base - E. Dean/Deacon, established relationship, BDSM, DP. FFFR 6.

what’s to stop me, pretty baby - E. Noncon, MoC!Dean. FFFR 7.

the need to choose - E. A/B/O, pregnant!Dean. FFFR 8.

transference - E. Diego Hargreeves/Grace, mommy kink. FFFR 9.

vertex - E. John/Dean, Stanford era, pining!Dean. FFFR 10.

faith without works is dead - M. Sam’s powers, violence, dubcon. FFFR 11.

be subject to each other - E. Photography, facial. FFFR 12.

October

you know i’m gonna be like him - M. Past Dean/John, child abuse. FFFR 13.

unbalance - E. A/B/O, Jared/Jensen, prostitute!Jared. FFFR 14.

buccaneer - E. Crowley/Deanna, demon!Dean, always-a-girl!Dean. FFFR 15.

make much of time - E. Sam/Dean/Jack, virginity kink. FFFR 16.

see things so much clearer - E. Pre-series, first time, diaries. FFFR 17.

won’t let you let me down so easily - E. Sam/Brady, Sam/others, Stanford era, mind control, gangbang, noncon. FFFR 18.

the beams of our house are cedar - E. Bunker era, panties, feminization. FFFR 19.

November

negotiation tactics - E. Homelander/Soldier Boy, D/s, superpower sex.

finale coda - M. Heaven.

15.19 coda - T. Jack as god.

there will be better days - E. Heaven, first time.

December

a leaden anchor - E. Post-Playthings.

That’s it. I haven’t had a single writing thought in my head since that last one. Here’s hoping it comes back in 2021!

[capcarolsdanver]

Jessie mentioned bad relationships of Brie in the past in the podcast and I saw few fans saying she was referring to Alex as one of those relationships because there’s been rumors that he’s a cheater and an addict and that Brie was a doormat during their relationship and how her friends didn’t like him because of his issues. 🙃 Won’t actually be surprised if Jessie eventually disliked Alex because of how problematic he is but the way Jessie talked about the bad relationships seem like it was a long time ago. Alex isn’t that long time ago relationship imo so I’m not sure it refers to him.

Brie and Jessie met in 2010, right? So I guess it makes sense to connect that bad relationship to Alex since publicly, it’s only John Amedori and Alex who were linked to her publicly around the timeline. Although it’s kinda funny that they aren’t considering unknown men that Brie could possibly have dated in their theories because it’s actually very possible that she was seeing other people between John and Alex. 🤷‍♀️ They were arguing that the bad relationship was a difficult time like Jessie mentioned because Brie was engaged with Alex despite their relationship being toxic and some fans are also assuming the story of Brie having a difficult time in her life in which Alia and Jessie redecorated her house thing was also about Alex. 🙃 Everything is about Alex for them. 🙃 Well, it makes sense considering Alex was part of Brie’s life for a long time. However, what I also find amusing is that, since they believe the relationship with Alex was real which I don’t mind btw, whatever floats their boat, they have this idea and speculation that Alex wasn’t faithful and loyal to Brie because of rumors and that Brie was fine being cheated on and was fine in being treated like crap for a very long time. 🙃 Like, Brie was upset with that trash ex of Jessie because the douchebag was hitting on other women and then somehow, they believe Brie would tolerate to be cheated on by a cokehead and even got engaged with him for several years? I know people in love can be blinded and be stupid and Brie probably had a phase like that especially when she was younger but I don’t think she would stay with a person like that for many years and even get engaged with them. She probably would last 2 years max in a relationship like that and I don’t think she would even stay for that long and besides, if Alex was such a horrible ex, maybe all her friends and Brie herself would have unfollowed and blocked him on social media? Idk. If the relationship and the person was really that bad, then at least they won’t stay friendly with them even in social media? 🤷‍♀️ And like, all breakups are difficult whether it’s a friend breakup or any kind of partnership breakup. It’s not just romantic relationship breakups that are difficult. Hell, the theme of the podcast episode was even about friendship. 🤦‍♀️

Yeah of course most people would assume she’s referring to Alex haha. Nah I think they are still cool with Alex for the most part bc as problematic as he was, it never affected Brie bc let’s be real they weren’t legit haha

And yeah there’s no way that Brie would allow someone to do that to her for any amount of time let alone for years