#common mistakes in Spanish present perfect

[mylanguageclasses]

Tiempo Pretérito Perfecto Compuesto / Present Perfect Tense in Spanish

Introduction The Pretérito Perfecto Compuesto, also known as the Present Perfect Tense in Spanish, is one of the most commonly used verb tenses in everyday conversations. It allows speakers to describe past actions that are connected to the present or have relevance in the present moment. In English, the Present Perfect Tense is formed using “have” or “has” + past participle (e.g., I have…

[nekoannie-chan]

The unusual bouquet

The unusual bouquet

Title: The unusual bouquet.

Fandom: Marvel, Captain America.

Ship: Steve Rogers X OFC (Jenna Marie Rumlow).

Word count: 462 words.

Square: 22 “What’s so funny?”

Rating: Teen.

Summary: Steve gave Jenna an unusual birthday gift.

Major Tags: Fluff.

Additional tags: This is my entry for the @fandom-free-bingo Valentine’s edition.

Links: Wattpad, Ao3, Spanish version.

@saiyanprincessswanie

My native language is Spanish, so I wanna improve my writing skills in English. Please let me know if you notice any mistakes, and I will correct them.

I don’t give any permission for my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate my work myself) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. Please let me know if you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

Add yourself to my taglist here.

My other media where I publish:  Ao3, Wattpad, ffnet, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter. 

If you like it, please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

Tags: @sinceimetyou @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad @navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight @shield-agent78 @charmed-asylum @pandaxnienke @real-fbi @Smokeandnailz @white-wolf1940 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @xoxonotme @bluemusickid @leyannrae @Harrysthiccthighss @Marvelatthisone @caplanbuckybarnes @sapphire-rogers @lizzieolseniskinda @notyourtypicalrose @hallecarey1 @nana1000night @talia-rumlow @writingshae @alexxavicry @azulatodoryuga @daemonslittlebitch @chaoticcollectivenightmare @endlesstwanted @chemtrails-club  @marigoldreamer @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @Here4thefanfics @theestorm @patzammit @kmc1989 @somegirlfromasgard @rogersbarber

Jenna and Everly were sitting in the common room, relaxing.

“What's wrong, Jen?” asked Everly, arching an eyebrow. “What's with the grin?”

Jenna let out a nervous giggle, remembering what had happened that morning. “It's because of the belated birthday present Steve gave me.”

“What did he do now?” Everly settled back on the couch, interested.

“Well,” Jenna began, trying to contain her laughter, ”Well, he gave me a bouquet of coriander.”

“A bouquet of coriander?” Everly repeated, incredulous. “Really?”

“Yes,” Jenna said with a chuckle. “A bunch. Of fresh coriander. I can't stop laughing. I didn't even know what to say. coriander! For my birthday.”

Everly let out a laugh, imagining Jenna's face as she received the gift. “I can't believe it. And what did he do when he gave it to you?”

“He looked so proud of himself,” Jenna continued, holding back a laugh. “He said something like, 'I thought you might like something fresh and natural. I found it at the market. It's perfect for you, isn't it?' I couldn't even react.”

“How embarrassing!” Everly could hardly breathe from laughing so hard. “He must have thought you'd asked for it or something.”

“He looked so serious like it was the perfect gift.

Suddenly, they heard footsteps approaching. Turning around, they saw Steve walking into the living room. When the girls saw him, they quickly fell silent, trying to hide the giggles.

“What's so funny?” asked Steve, eyeing the two suspiciously. “It looks like they're making fun of something.”

Jenna and Everly exchanged a quick glance, they knew they couldn't keep laughing in front of him. Jenna tried to calm down. “Oh, nothing, Steve. Nothing important, just silly stuff.”

“Are you sure?” Steve frowned. “Because I heard them laughing. I thought it was related to me.”

“No, no, not at all,” Everly said, putting on the best nonchalant face she could. ”We're just remembering a funny story from a mission.”

Jenna nodded, trying to control the laughter that still wanted to escape. “Yeah, absolutely nothing to do with you, Steve. Just a silly thing.”

Steve looked skeptical for a moment. “Well, if it's nothing important, then that's fine,” he said, with a slight sigh.

The girls looked at him as he walked away, but as soon as he turned around, they couldn't help but let out a nervous giggle. At that moment, Jenna let out a sigh. “Can you believe it? A bunch of coriander.”

Everly could barely contain her laughter. “I just can't. It's like I thought you needed a plant for cooking or something.”

“Well,” Jenna said, looking at Everly, ”Maybe I should learn how to cook something with coriander, in case he ever gives me something like that again.”

Everly let out an uproarious laugh. “Please don't!”

[hellobloger0000]

Baby Boy Names: Timeless Choices for Modern Families

Naming a baby is one of the first big decisions you make as a parent. It’s an opportunity to give your child a meaningful start and a name that he will carry with pride throughout his life. When searching for baby boy names, parents often look for something that feels right — balancing personal meaning, cultural relevance, and future resonance.

Why Choosing the Right Baby Boy Name Is So Important

A name is more than just a label. It shapes identity, offers cultural roots, and even subtly influences how a person is perceived by others. The journey of finding the perfect baby boy names can be emotional, exciting, and deeply personal.

Some parents lean on tradition, naming their sons after ancestors or religious figures. Others seek unique or trending names that stand out. There’s no one-size-fits-all method — just the desire to give your child the best beginning.

Unique fact: Research from the University of California has shown that individuals with names that start with letters earlier in the alphabet are more likely to be chosen first for job interviews, especially in competitive fields.

Exploring the Most Popular Baby Boy Names

Every year, naming trends change. Pop culture, global events, and celebrity baby announcements can influence the popularity of certain baby boy names. In recent years, many parents have returned to vintage names or opted for minimalist modern names.

Top current baby boy names include:

Liam – Irish in origin, meaning "strong-willed warrior"

Noah – Hebrew origin, meaning "rest" or "comfort"

Oliver – Latin roots, often linked with the olive tree and peace

Mateo – Spanish form of Matthew, meaning "gift of God"

Elijah – A timeless biblical name

Unique fact: The name “Mateo” entered the U.S. top 10 list for the first time in 2022, reflecting the growing influence of Latinx culture in American naming trends.

Cultural Significance of Baby Boy Names

Culture and heritage play a major role in name selection. Many families pass names down through generations or choose names that reflect their ethnic backgrounds and spiritual beliefs.

Here are a few examples of culturally significant baby boy names:

Ayaan (Arabic) – "Gift of God" or "blessing"

Hiro (Japanese) – Can mean "broad," "generous," or "prosperous," depending on the kanji

Ezra (Hebrew) – "Helper" or "protector"

Kofi (Akan, Ghanaian) – "Born on Friday"

Unique fact: In many West African cultures, names are often assigned based on the day of the week a child is born, creating a strong cultural bond between the name and birth circumstances.

Choosing a Name with Meaning

The meaning behind a name can be just as important as its sound. Many parents choose baby boy names that carry virtues they hope their child will embody — strength, wisdom, peace, courage, or kindness.

Here are some names with powerful meanings:

Ethan – Strong and firm

Leo – Lion; symbol of bravery

Amir – Prince or leader

Isaiah – Salvation of God

Rowan – Red-haired or little red one (also linked to the rowan tree, symbolizing protection)

Unique fact: The name “Rowan” is considered gender-neutral but is growing in popularity among boys due to its natural symbolism and soft strength.

Blending Traditional and Modern

Some parents want to honor the past while keeping their child’s name relevant to the present. Combining a traditional name with a modern twist, or using a classic name as a middle name, can strike the right balance.

Examples of traditional-modern name pairings:

Mason Elijah

Kai Alexander

Zayn Thomas

Nolan Amir

Unique fact: The name “Kai,” meaning “sea” in Hawaiian and “victory” in Chinese, has become a globally popular name due to its cross-cultural appeal and short, strong sound.

Avoiding Common Naming Mistakes

While most baby boy names are selected with great care, it’s still wise to watch for common pitfalls that could cause challenges later:

Complicated spelling: A creative spelling may look unique but lead to a lifetime of corrections.

Unfortunate initials: Always check what the full initials of the name spell out.

Overused trends: Some names surge in popularity quickly and become dated within a few years.

Unique fact: According to name registries, names that reach peak popularity for boys often decline within 5 to 10 years, which can make them feel outdated later — a cycle known as the “naming curve.”

Rising Stars: Unique Baby Boy Names Gaining Popularity

If you want something outside the top 100 but still stylish and meaningful, here are some emerging names to consider:

Callum – Scottish origin, meaning “dove”

Atlas – Greek mythology, symbolizing strength

Zion – Spiritual and powerful

Bodhi – Sanskrit for “awakening” or “enlightenment”

Cassian – Latin origin, meaning “hollow” or “empty,” but associated with saints and scholars

Unique fact: The name “Bodhi” saw a 300% increase in usage in Australia and the U.S. between 2015 and 2023, driven by spiritual influences and celebrity choices.

The Role of Nicknames

Nicknames can give a formal name a relaxed, affectionate alternative. Parents often consider how a name shortens or what casual variations might arise naturally.

Examples:

Benjamin → Ben, Benny

Alexander → Alex, Xander

Jonathan → Jon, Nate

Sebastian → Seb, Bash

Unique fact: Some psychologists believe nicknames play an important role in childhood development by promoting a sense of closeness and familiarity in relationships.

Baby Boy Names with Global Appeal

With the world more connected than ever, many parents choose baby boy names that are easy to pronounce across different languages and cultures. These names often travel well internationally:

Luca – Italian origin, popular across Europe and the Americas

Milo – Found in German, Slavic, and English traditions

Eli – Short, strong, and found in various cultures

Arlo – Gaining popularity in English-speaking countries

Ravi – Sanskrit origin, meaning “sun,” popular in South Asia

Unique fact: The name “Luca” became one of the top five names in Switzerland, Italy, and the Netherlands in the same year, showcasing its broad global charm.

Final Thoughts: Your Son's Name Is His Legacy

Your choice of name is one of the first gifts you give your child — one that will accompany him through every stage of life. Whether you go with a classic, a trendsetting name, or something deeply personal, take your time. Consider its meaning, sound, and cultural connections. The perfect baby boy names are those that feel right to you and reflect the story you want to tell.

Unique fact: Studies in behavioral economics suggest that people often grow into their names, meaning a well-chosen name might positively influence a child’s confidence and self-identity.

[learnspanishinmexico]

Why would one choose Immersion in Spanish in Mexico?

Learning a new language is an interesting and fulfilling project; for Spanish, Mexico presents an unmatched chance for immersion. Learners of Immersion Spanish in Mexico can delve deeply into the language while also witnessing the rich history and culture of one of the most energetic nations in Latin America. Having native speakers around helps students practice regularly and pick up the subtleties of the language in natural surroundings. Understanding the language is only one benefit of this immersive setting; another is appreciating the cultural background influencing its use. Immersion in Mexico provides a real educational experience regardless of your location—bustling cities or quiet regions.

The advantages of fully engaging yourself with Mexican language and culture

The cultural immersion learning Spanish in Mexico offers is among its biggest benefits. You are living the language when you are in Mexico, not only attending language courses. Deeper knowledge of the language and culture results from interacting with residents, market exploration, and historical site visits. mexico city learn spanish gains significance when you are actively engaging in events including celebrations, music, and gastronomy. This mix of language acquisition and cultural interaction guarantees that you are gaining the linguistic abilities as well as the cultural understanding needed to enable proper communication in many contexts.

Mexico City: Perfect Location for Learning Spanish

Learners of Spanish from throughout the world find their hub in Mexico City. The city presents countless chances for immersion with its historic sites, world-class museums, and vibrant districts. There is always something to inspire and test your Spanish abilities whether you're negotiating the busy streets of Condesa or appreciating the art scene at the Palacio de Bellas Artes. Mexico City, a major city, offers a variety of language schools covering basic to advanced levels to meet varying learning requirements. Learning Spanish in Mexico City is a fantastic approach to becoming fluent while appreciating the huge diversity of the nation.

Learning Spanish from Local Conversations

Talking with native speakers is one of the best approaches to picking up Spanish. This is common in Mexico. From dining at a restaurant to talking with fellow passengers or taxi drivers, you are continuously improving your Spanish in real-life settings. These exchanges boost your confidence and speech ability. Mexican people are renowned for their warmth and openness, hence students can relax using their language abilities without worrying about making mistakes. Speaking can help you learn faster and make more natural it.

Intensive Spanish Courses: Their Benefits

If you want to pick up Spanish fast, signing up for a Mexico-intense Spanish school can be rather successful. Many Mexican language schools include full-day courses when students concentrate just on language acquisition. Usually, these initiatives combine cultural events, classroom instruction, and conversation practice. Students can rapidly become fluent and feel more secure speaking Spanish in many circumstances by using such an immersive technique. An intense course is a terrific choice whether your goals are travel preparation, a professional promotion, or just love the challenge of language learning.

Living in Mexico and immersing yourself in Spanish offers a full experience with cultural discoveries as well as language acquisition. Whether you're learning Spanish in Mexico City or engaging in immersion Spanish in Mexico, you will find chances to improve your language ability all around. Studying in Mexico is an investment in both your language ability and personal development with reasonably priced courses, pleasant residents, and the opportunity to discover varied terrain and history. 

To learn more about us, visit our site.

studying spanish in mexico

spanish lessons mexico city

[thetechinsiderblogs]

Top 10 Best AI Tools For Students in 2024: Empower Your Studies

Let’s talk about the top 10 best AI tools for students in 2024! ChatGPT, QuillBot, and other game-changing tools make learning way more fun and successful. These genius apps can help you crush assignments, ace exams, and be an A+ student. Get your learn on with AI power!

List of Top 10 Best AI Tools For Students in 2024

OpenAI Playground – Struggling with Indian History concepts? Use AI text generation to summarize chapters on the Mughal Empire into simplified overviews. Grasp key rulers, policies, and impacts!  This free platform grants access to test models like GPT-3 for generating text, DALL-E for creating images, and Codex for coding. Play around with different prompts, settings, and outputs to see the creative potential.

ChatGPT/GPT-4 – Ask these chatbots to explain difficult physics theories in simple terms. Their conversational style makes grasping complex concepts a breeze. These chatbots leverage OpenAI’s advanced natural language processing to understand context and have nuanced conversations. Their knowledge spans diverse topics and they can explain complex concepts conversationally.

QuillBot – Paraphrase and strengthen your thesis statement for that big literature essay. QuillBot improves word choice and structure to articulate your perspective. This paraphrasing tool uses AI to rephrase sentences preserving meaning. Choose from different styles like standard, fluent, expand, concise, and more. It summarizes long texts, cites sources, and fixes wordy writing.

Fotor – Enhance photos of your science experiment with lighting fixes and cool effects using Fotor’s AI tools. Visuals that clearly communicate results! Fotor’s one-click enhancements use AI to adjust brightness, contrast, hue, white balance, and more for stunning photo edits. It removes distracting objects, fixes colors, applies filters, and enables easy graphic design.

Adobe Express & Firefly – Transform your biology notes into an animated study guide video. Creative visuals help you remember key parts and processes. Create professional graphics, logos, posters and more with Adobe’s AI-powered design capabilities. Animated videos come alive with dynamic text, music, transitions, and effects.

Grammarly – Let Grammarly’s AI catch errors in your admission essay draft before submitting. Fixing grammar and style issues makes your writing shine. This writing assistant checks texts for over 400 types of grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors using AI models. It provides correction suggestions and concise explanations for improving writing.

Otter.ai – Import recordings of guest lectures to generate transcripts you can annotate and search. Never miss key points for exams again! Otter’s algorithms can generate transcripts from meetings, lectures, interviews, and more with over 90% accuracy. Users can edit, share, search, and organize transcripts for easy access.

Stepwise Math – Stuck on a statistics problem set? Stepwise walks through solving each equation step-by-step. Their AI fills in knowledge gaps. Just snap a math problem or type it in and Stepwise will break it down step-by-step. Hints guide you strategically and it highlights common student mistakes to learn from.

Brainscape & GitMind – Use AI-optimized flashcards to master Spanish vocabulary for upcoming oral exams. Spaced repetition boosts retention. These smart flashcard apps use algorithms to determine optimal timing for quizzes based on your performance. Cards are scheduled at the perfect point for retaining info long-term.

Slidesgo – Create a polished presentation on 18th century poetry in minutes with Slidesgo’s AI design templates. Engaging visuals that impress!  Pick from thousands of professionally designed presentation templates based on your needs. Customize layouts, colors, fonts using an intuitive editor with built-in design suggestions.

Conclusion

We covered the top 10 AI study buds that the team at thetechinsider says are total game-changers for learning in 2024! From ChatGPT’s awesome explanations to QuillBot’s writing tips, these genius apps can help you master concepts, ace assignments, memorize stuff, create projects, and more. Use ’em wisely! The future of education with humans + AI will be pretty sweet.

[oumarja]

Phrasly Review: Transform AI-Generated Content with Academic Integrity

Are you tired of battling AI plagiarism detectors while striving to maintain academic integrity? Do you find yourself spending endless hours perfecting your AI-generated content to make it sound more human-like? If you're nodding in agreement, then you're in for a game-changing revelation. Enter Phrasly, the revolutionary tool that's set to transform your writing experience and elevate the quality of your work. In this review, we'll delve into the world of Phrasly and explore how it can help you bypass those pesky AI detectors and craft content that resonates with a human touch.

The Breakdown

Unlocking the Power of Phrasly

Phrasly is not just another AI-powered writing tool; it's a game-changer in the realm of content creation. It caters to the unique needs of individuals seeking to transform AI-generated content into seamless and human-like text. Let's dive into its key features that set it apart from the competition:

AI Detector Bypass

The first standout feature of Phrasly is its remarkable ability to transform AI-generated content into undetectable text. Say goodbye to the days of worrying about your work getting flagged by AI plagiarism detectors. With Phrasly, you can submit your content with confidence, knowing that it'll sail through undetected.

Grammar Checker

But Phrasly is more than just a plagiarism-dodging tool. It's also your grammar guardian angel. The built-in grammar checker is robust and efficient, detecting and correcting grammar mistakes to ensure the quality and accuracy of your generated content. No more embarrassing typos or grammatical blunders.

Content Summarizer

Have lengthy content that needs condensing? Phrasly has you covered with its content summarizer feature. It allows you to efficiently distill lengthy passages into concise summaries while retaining the key points and main ideas. This means you can save time and present information in a reader-friendly format.

Multi-Lingual Support

Phrasly doesn't discriminate when it comes to languages. It offers support for multiple languages, making it versatile and accessible to a diverse range of users. Whether you're writing in English, Spanish, French, or any other language, Phrasly has got your back.

Co-Writer

Writer's block, be gone! Phrasly comes equipped with a co-writer feature that assists you in generating content ideas and outlines. It's like having a writing companion by your side, providing valuable assistance throughout your writing process.

In conclusion, Phrasly is the invaluable tool you've been searching for to transform AI-generated content into human-like text while bypassing AI detectors and upholding academic integrity. With its grammar checking, content summarization, and co-writing capabilities, Phrasly empowers you to produce high-quality, original content that aligns with your writing goals. It saves you time, enhances the quality of your content, and provides solutions to common writing challenges.

So, why struggle with AI plagiarism detectors and wrestle with grammar errors when Phrasly can make your academic journey smoother and more successful? Embrace the future of content creation with Phrasly and experience the difference for yourself.

Don't miss out on the opportunity to take your writing to the next level with Phrasly. Try it today and witness the transformation in your writing experience.

Phrasly: Elevate Your Writing, Maintain Your Integrity.

[englishandspanish]

How To Overcome Nervousness And Build Confidence In English Speaking

Speaking English fluently is a valuable skill, whether you're an English-to-Mexican Spanish speaker in Scottsdale or an international student looking to excel in a diverse world. However, many language learners experience nervousness and lack confidence when it comes to English speaking.

Let's explore effective strategies to overcome nervousness and build the much-needed confidence to excel in English communication.

Understanding the Root Causes of Nervousness

To address nervousness effectively, it's essential to identify its root causes. Fear of making mistakes, lack of self-confidence in language abilities, and anxiety about being judged by others are common reasons for feeling uneasy during language interactions. Recognizing these factors can help you approach language learning with a growth mindset.

Adopting a Growth Mindset

Embrace the learning process with a growth mindset. Understand that making mistakes is a natural part of language learning and an opportunity for improvement. Set realistic language learning goals and focus on gradual progress rather than seeking perfection right away.

Practice Makes Perfect

Regular speaking practice is the key to building confidence. Engage in conversations with native English speakers, utilize language exchange programs, or find conversation partners to practice with. Joining language-speaking clubs or communities can also provide a supportive environment for language practice.

Preparing and Rehearsing

Before important speaking events, prepare by outlining common speaking topics or scenarios. Practice responses to potential questions or situations to feel more confident during actual conversations. Recording and reviewing your own speaking sessions can also help you identify areas for improvement.

Visualizing Success

Use positive affirmations and self-talk to boost your confidence. Visualize successful language interactions in your mind, imagining yourself speaking confidently and fluently. Building a mental image of confident language use can positively impact your actual speaking experiences.

Breathing and Relaxation Techniques

Combat anxiety by incorporating deep breathing exercises and relaxation techniques. Prior to speaking events, practice mindfulness to stay present and focused, enabling you to manage nervousness effectively.

Seeking Support and Feedback

Find a supportive language learning community or enroll in the best English fluency course in Scottsdale. Request constructive feedback from teachers or peers to understand your strengths and areas for improvement. Celebrate progress and achievements along the way, as positive reinforcement can further boost your confidence.

Embracing Mistakes as Opportunities

Remember that making mistakes is natural and offers valuable learning opportunities. Embrace errors as a chance to grow and improve your language skills. Avoid dwelling on mistakes and, instead, use them to strengthen your understanding of the language.

Cultivating a Positive Speaking Environment

Surround yourself with encouraging and understanding individuals who support your language-learning journey. Create a safe space for language practice where you can speak freely without fear of judgment. Celebrate language diversity and cultural exchange to foster a positive and inclusive speaking environment.

Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone

Challenge yourself regularly by trying new speaking tasks or engaging in more complex language interactions. Gradually stepping out of your comfort zone can lead to increased confidence and proficiency in English speaking.

Celebrating Achievements and Progress

Acknowledge and celebrate every milestone, no matter how small. Recognize improvements in your language proficiency and the progress you make along the way. Encourage self-reward and practice self-compassion as you continue on your language learning journey.

Summing Up:

Overcoming nervousness and building confidence in English speaking is attainable with dedication, practice, and a growth mindset. Remember that every step you take toward fluency is an achievement worth celebrating, and with determination, you can become a confident and effective English speaker.

In this case, English And Spanish 2 You can assist you in enhancing your English or Spanish language proficiency needs thru on-line and in-person language classes.

[aesthbaby]

Her Secret

Summary: We’re all aware of Emily’s untold secrets that she took to the grave with her but what about Lauren? The one thing both woman have in common is you, and the memories they took with them in both of their deaths

Pairings: Emily Prentiss x Reader

Prompt/request: None, just an idea I’ve had in my head for a while.

Warnings: Cursing | Death

Wordcount: Almost 4k

Master List

AN: Time line might be a little spotty because the show did not give many details but I promise its still comprehensible.

Its beautiful for a sad event. The white flowers are such a stark contrast to her personality. The color reminds you of a time before, before they knew her and before all of this happened. One of your eyes feels kind of funny so you reach for it, pulling back to examine the small drop of water on your finger. You compose yourself and push the large, black, sunglasses up your nose. Maybe you shouldn’t be here. You were dressed in all black with a black umbrella. Despite it being a sad day, it was unnecessarily sunny.

You spot her team making their way down the walk way. Three men carrying the dark coffin with one Caned man in the front and the women in tow. You take a step back into the shadows as they near the podium. As the service progresses the amount of speeches and tears are--overwhelming. Images of Emily, once known to you as Lauren, flash across your mind as you hold back any and all emotions associated with this event. 

You knew she wasn't really "dead," she couldn’t be. Emily Prentiss is invincible and would never go like that. You saw the woman known as "JJ" glances your way but she says nothing about it. Probably assuming you were another one of Emily's secrets taken to the grave.

Emily’s not dead. Emily wouldn’t die like that. 

You kept repeating it in your head.

Italy - 2004

The violets surround the mansion like a protective field. Their peaceful existence mocking your volunteer imprisonment. You only took this job because you and this other agent were the only ones who spoke fluent Italian. She was supposed to take it and you were the understudy or whatever but then she got knocked up so here you are. Being mocked by fucking flowers. Your thoughts are interrupted by Doyle approaching you with his brunette arm dealer on his arm. You turn away from the balcony upon his approach.

“Lauren deve restare qui mentre scappo. Per favore, tienila d'occhio.” Lauren has to stay here while I run out. Please keep an eye on her.  He’s always been so bossy, and for what? To make himself seem more powerful than he actually is? We’re all aware of the danger working for him provides.

“Si signore.” Yes sir. You turn to acknowledge the woman in front of you but she speaks first.

“Perché? Non posso venire con te?” Why is that? Can't I come with you? She whines.

He gives her a look and she backs down. The Captain heads out with his guards behind him, leaving you alone with his lover.

You’re not sure what to do with her. Is this a form of  babysitting?

She clears her throat. “I know.”

Hearing her speak English was a surprise but it makes sense, there was always something different about her. You arch an eyebrow and reply, “Sai...che cosa?” You know....what?

She holds up a finger for you to give her a moment. She turns around and sticks her head out the door; then closes and locks it. “You’re not really from Tirana, are you?” Who is this woman? You maintain a neutral face while she continues. “The fact that you never eat with us was a dead give away. You’re always held up in this room.” She gestures to the large room filled with files, records, and books. “Like you’re trying to avoid something. I’d also like to point out how you rarely present any Albanian customs.” Where are you going with this Reynolds... “At first I thought, ‘Maybe they’re one of Doyle’s assassins that I’m not supposed to know about.’ But then I started paying attention and realized you’re nothing like that.” You let out a sharp breath. “Its okay.” She takes one of your hands. “I won’t tell Ian. There’s already enough death in his life and I wouldn’t want to see you be one of his next victims.”

You’re stuck in the moment and words are hard to form. All of your training is slipping through your fingers. For all you know she could be bluffing, trying to get you killed. You go with your safest option because you don’t know this woman at all. You pull your hand from her and take a step closer. Peering into her eyes for any sign of fear and when you find none, you proceed. Leaning in as close as possible to her. “Non farei acquisizioni così pericolose se fossi in te.” I wouldn't make such dangerous acquisitions if I were you. You whisper. You could never be sure if your suspicions were correct but this, this was all the confirmation you needed. What’s that old saying? Takes one to know one. “Agente.” Finishing off that last word you brush past her.

Virginia - present

 Being back in The States with Doyle still running around is unnecessarily risking. Emily’s defeat is the only reason you’ve come back. To watch her team grieve over the coffin is saddening but having to hide is the shadows is unfair. Am I not allowed to publicly grieve? Are my tears not worthy? The grip on your umbrella tightens. She’s not dead. Emily doesn’t loose. Emotions are running high and the speeches are getting long. Last time you talked, she claimed to be alone. No family and no fiends but clearly she was wrong. What you’d give to be laying under a plum tree on a wool woven blanket with her head in your lap. Eating pastries you raided from the kitchen and telling the Captain that you needed her to help analyze costs. What a fool.

You were so entranced with the memory that you didn’t notice when the pale, dark haired agent approached you. Aaron Hotchner, the unit chief if I’m not mistaken. “Agent.” He acknowledges.

“Sir?” You mumble.

“Your profession was easy enough to guess, though I’m not sure of your name.” Those knitted brown sweaters and golden, dainty necklaces. The short chestnut hair with soft curls that smelled of honey shampoo. The way she’d nudge your foot during dinner while casting discreet glances. Its all gone. “Agent?” He calls again. “Are you alright?”

Before you say anything you make sure your voice is clear. “Tell me Agent Hotchner, did she suffer?” That question didn’t need to be answered but you just had to know. A favor was called in on your behalf by Lieutenant Parks, he gave very few details about her death but you’ll take that over nothing at all. This was the one question you didn’t have an answer for. With nothing but silence from the man, you have your answer.

Reaching for your pocket there’s a small clear box; inside of the plastic is a handful of pressed violets. Without looking you hold the slim box out to him. “Please, make sure she gets them.” After he takes them you make one last note of the sight in front of you. All of her friends, family, and coworkers gathered in one place with Emily’s grave as the centerpiece. You turn to finally face the man, tilting your shades so he can see a bit of your eyes. “Dead or alive.” And then disappearing in to the back of the cemetary.

Italy - Spring of 04′

Two months ago you were staring off of Doyle’s Spanish-styled balcony thinking, “What would happen if I called it quits?” You had enough evidence and entail for him to never see freedom again. So what was stopping you?

Her. She was making you second guess.

After having her call you out for being a spy, you were very careful about what you did and said around her. Its not like she had any definitive proof but at the same time neither did you. What you said that day was a total bluff. Its a miracle you’re still alive. You were left with only two conclusions: one was that she herself is a spy, or two, she’s one of the smartest people Ian has ever brought home.

Then came a day where the boys went out to wherever and it was just you, her, and the maids. Most of them are Russian and speak poor Italian so they usually keep to themselves. You’re at the dining room table pretending to run numbers since that’s literally your job- well that and vetting backgrounds of sellers and buyers. Essentially a secretary with dangerous patrons. The position is mind numbingly boring but it does allow you to remain invisible while observing the operation. Think about it, who’s going to notice the secretary while discussing millions? They’re idiots. They allow you to sit in on every single meeting because you’re just the person who runs numbers. A debatable perk to this job is the amount of free time you posses. Usually its spent digging around the operation, sending information back to HQ, or actually enjoying small aspects of the city. That brings you to right now where you’re doodling random shapes on the bottom corner of the paper.

Lauren is on the couch wearing a button up satin dress, quite short for Ian’s taste so you’re surprised to see her wearing it. She’s read something you’ve never heard of, not that it matters. With no idea why she’s in here with you, you retreat back into your own mind.

“The maids have left.” You suddenly hear beside you, nearly jumping out of your skin.

“You scared me!” At the realization of your chosen language you gasp and watch as Lauren smiles widely. You shoot to your feet repeating no over and over. Actively trying to take back your words while she looks rather amused.

“I knew it!” She points at you all accusingly and shit. You keep shaking your head no and trying to get her to be quiet. “I was right about you!” And here’s the perfect time to have a maid to walk in. Lauren says something to her but you’re too wrapped up in your head to translate. All your years of training, expierence, undercover work has just been thrown away over your stupid mistake.

They’re going to kill me. They’re going to have my head on a stake in the middle of the garden for the world to see- or worse! I’ll be tortured for my crimes by one of Doyle’s men.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts by the brunette waving her hand in front of your face. “Don’t worry,” She say softly as you notice the house keeper is no longer with you. “I told her they could take a break...” At your confused face she continues. “So now we can talk.”

Virginia - present

To say you had no idea where you were going, was an understatement.

You hadn’t been to Virginia in years so everything felt unfamiliar. You took quick peaks at your surroundings as the rented porshe pushed through the traffic. Everything hurt, not the traditional pain you experience over a broken toe but the emotional kind that coursed through your entire body.

Is this what a broken heart feels like?

You kept telling yourself she wasn’t dead; couldn’t be. Not your Emily, the woman you know is a fighter. She’s fucking invincible and would never let herself die at the hand of that monster. If she was really dead, wouldn’t you feel it? Wouldn’t you feel your connection to her sever?

At the reorganization of the build ahead of you, you pull the car into the left lane.

Italy - Spring of 04′

She is so fucking clingy. Always starring at me when no one is watching and going on less missions with Doyle. Speaking of him, the man likes to take her everywhere; calls her “Ho il mio portafortuna” his good luck charm. She usual goes out with him whenever he’s traveling but lately she’s been making little excuses on why she wants to stay for the day. Instead of spending the day recuperating from a headache (like she’s told him) she’ll bother you.

That accent and the way she pronounces her R’s makes you wanna melt, but then she starts asking you a million and one questions. What’s your favorite food? When’s your birthday? Have you ever broken a bone? Do you enjoy reading? Its always something with her. I think she’s trying to annoy me. So far you’ve been answering her questions in Italian to insure that you don’t fuck up again.

Doyle is none the wiser, he still sees you as a secretary and her as arm candy.

But you must admit that Lauren is growing on you. She hasn’t said anything in English to you lately or exposed you to Doyle. You’re rarely ever alone but when you are, she gives you one of her finished books and sits in the room quietly. Its comforting. Today she’s given you Niccolo Ammaniti with a note scribbled in pencil on the 5th page, “Hang in there.” Smart woman, writing it in light pencil so I can easily erase it without leaving a trace...also paranoid woman but rightfully so.

Virginia - present

You adjust your shoe so as not to slip before going into the building and suck the shades into your pocket. The giant letters, I. O. D. S. stare back at you in Ariel font.

Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this. Just accept her death and move on.

Inside of Investigations of Death Services you nod to the secretary, an ex of yours, and continue on to your destination. While in the elevatored your vision feels blurry but now isn’t the time for tears. Arriving at your floor, you spot his office and walk in without so much as a knock or invitation.

“One second,” he speaks into the phone. “Can I help you?” His dark eyes look angry, like he doesn’t recognize you. You take a step forward, offering your closed palm to him. “What? What is this? A fucking magic trick?” You slowly open your palm towards him, revealing the silver clover pin. The suited man looks like he’s just seen a ghost. “Shane, I’ll have to call you back.” He hangs up the phone, then reaches from you hand. “Where did you get this?”

Snatching you hand back and putting the silver back in your pocket. “You really don’t remember me, do you?”

He narrows his eyes on you before answering. “Can’t say I do.”

“Back in 03′ you knocked up Carin and proposed I go on assignment. Granted I was the only person who was fluent in Italian--or so I thought. Come to find out there were five other agents who could’ve been assigned there. You chose me because I was up for your job.” Your anger is boiling over quickly. “You were a shitty employee and they were ready to fire you.” You take a daring step forward. “Until you proposed infiltrating Valhalla with one of the foreign operative agents. You told them there were only two fluent agents. Back then we had never met but I knew who you were, Hell, we all knew how much of a screw up you were. Guess you don’t recognize me anymore? I mean in your defense its been years and I’ve lost a few pounds due to the stress you caused me but that’s for another day. How about we go back to 2003.” For a man with toxic masculinity issues, he looks pretty scared. “You couldn’t just out right suggest me so you have to offer up someone else. Coincidently Carin got pregnant right around the time she was starting her training, by you I might add, and could no longer go.” A wide smile starts to grow on your face. “Bet you were counting on my death, huh?” Awe poor baby seems to be shaking. “No...you’re too much of a pussy for that. I bet you were hoping I’d go to Italy and screw things up for the whole operation.” Now you’re toe-to-toe with him. “Mess up so bad that they’d have pull me out and demote me. Or! Reveal myself and hope Doyle’s men killed me or I’d go sprinting home with my tail between my legs.” His silence is starting to irritate you. “So which is it, Mark? Hmm? Cat got your tongue?”

“I’m sorry!” He yells with a reddened face. Out of the corner of your eye you see his co-works looking through his glass walls but you couldn’t care less. “I’m sorry, y/n. What do you want from me? I’ll do anything!” Now we’re getting somewhere.

You push the pin into his face “Where is she, Mark?”

“Where is who?” He’s still fucking shaking.

“Asking me another stupid question and there will be hell to pay.” You’re not really going to hurt him but considering the circumstances, this is justified. The man put your life on the line over some stupid position, a bit of threatening wouldn’t hurt.

“Okay okay. All I know is that after you left she was taken by ALPHA and later faked her death. When Lauren Reynolds died, Emily Prentiss got to go home and Ian Doyle went to a North Korean prison.”

“And now...”

“Last I heard she was working for the Behavioral Analysis Unit at the FBI but was recently killed under suspicious circumstances.” At your expression, he continues. “We know she died during a scuffle with Doyle and there was a funeral but we are yet to have a death certificate on record. Sometimes it take anywhere from a week to a month for us to receive proper records on agent deaths. I thought that-”

“Stop, talking.” You cut him off through gritted teath.

Italy - Autumn 04′

“What is your problem, Lauren?” You’re out on the patio in front of the pool on a warm day. Lauren has a four course meal on the table, courtesy of the chefs.

“Nothing...” She shrugs with a mouthful of strawberry.

“You want me to leave.”

Another fucking shrug.  

“Be serious.” You’re trying to stop yourself from stomping your foot.

She puts down her food and clasps her hands together. “Yes I want you to leave.” You watch as she gets up and smooths her skirt; taking your hands in hers. “Your time is thinning and you’ve been her a lot longer than me.”

“And leave you here alone? No way, I know you’re invincible but even Superman had his down fall.”

“Superman?” She loops you in closer. “Why not superwoman? Awfully sexist of you.”

“Oh, shut up.” You nudge her back a bit. “But wouldn’t you miss me?”

She gives you one of her wide smiles. “Let me show how much I’d miss you.” She leans in for a light kiss against your lips.  You pull away quickly so as not to be seen. El, like the letter, picked out a blind spot that’s covered partially in shadows. “I have to leave in 15 minutes but until then...” She trails with a very telling expression.

“Where?” You laugh. “Not in the second floor bathroom again because that was...tight.”

Her perfectly plucked eyebrow arches upward,  “And you were loud!”

You hop past her to sneak a grape. “Hey! You do know that was mine, right?”

“What are you going to do about it, Superwoman?” You turn to grab another grape, while doing so you feel her presence behind you. “Don’t start something you can’t finish, L.”

“Oh why not?” She lightly trails down your backside. “It’ll be so much fun.”

You turn back to her. “Ten minutes?”

“In the library?” She smirks and you nod along.

Virginia - present

This four hundred dollar airplane ticket is going to serve its purpose but paying it back is going to suck. Your government salary was nice and all but $400 is still a lot.

Just two days before, you rushed around you place to pack all of the essentials for a quick flight to Paris; charger, hygiene, two outfits, and the pin all tucked into a stylish backpack.

That brings us here, standing in the streets of downtown Paris alongside the buzzing mopeds weaving through the streets. In front of you is the little café Elle would go on and on about, naturally this is the first place you could think to look.

You didn’t even know what you were looking for. The woman you fell for was a brunette with light curls and bangs.

You were looking for Emily. The woman Lauren introduced you to. The woman you grew to love in the same way you love Lauren, but Lauren is dead. Has been for awhile, now its time to find Emily. Your Emily.

You find nothing, no one who even slightly revels Emily on your first day there. So you find a hostel to lay your head in and continue on the next day. Again and again with the same routine for five days straight.

You wasted all of your time here for what? A memory? A dream? Two woman who no longer exist on the same astral plane as you?

That’s when you see it, a head of dark brown hair a few tables ahead of where you’re standing. With all hope lost you almost think its a mirage. 

You sit a few tables ahead of her, careful to keep your face hidden. When the waiter comes around to take your order you give him very specific instructions.

Emily’s POV

Being a dead woman is lonely and isolating...at least the coffee is good. The waiter who dropped off the hot beverage not too long ago has circled back with a cheese croissant in hand. That’s odd, I hate cheese croissants. “Cette personne là-bas m'a demandé de te livrer ça.” That person over there has asked me to deliver this to you. He points over his shoulder to a person who’s face I can’t quite make out. “Ils m'ont également demandé de vous donner ceci.” They also asked me to give this to you. He reaches from his front pocket and softly places a silver clover pin that I haven’t seen in years, and a pressed Violet. I can feel the air drain out of my lungs at the objects in front of me. “Merci beaucoup.” The only person who knows what these objects mean are Doyle and-

At the sense of being watched my head shoots up at the source. At first there’s nothing there but then I spot the familiar figure. Its been weeks since I’ve actually seen them, it can’t be. I must be seeing things. Closing my eyes and taking in a deep breathe, I open them to see that they’re gone.

“Boo.” I hear in my right ear; looking up to see y/n standing beside me with a bright smile.

“You scared me!” Realizing how loud I am, I take a breath.

“Miss me Elle?” I left you behind, twice. I died twice without letting you know. You’ve had to start over too many times and its not far.

“Y/n, how did you find me?”

“Really, Elle. Did you really think I’d fall for that party trick you pulled at the BAU? I’m not dull, and besides,” Y/n/n gently puts their hand over mine on the coffee mug. “You’re my Superwoman, you’ll never die.”

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･**･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*˚✧₊⁎ ⁎⁺˳✧༚ ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟ･*:.

@beyondprincess @confused-and-really-hungry @millipop18 @supercorp8388 @groovygoob  @emilyprentisswife@covetedcoven @justaghostmonument @rabid-wild-misfits @nomit16 @afuckingshituniverse @mys2425  @fanfictionfangirl04  @aaron-hotchner187 @lisztomaniacalice @thestrawberrygirl  @miidguardian-exe @criminalmindsmoodrn @ssacandice-ray @davidrossiismydad @garcias-batcave @ssaemxlyprentxss @andreaxxg13 @emilyprentissistoocute @mortallythoughtfulgurl @iamyouknow-yours @aesthbaby​

[lypomania]

🌸 Spanish Verbs that Change Meanings in the Perfect and Imperfect 🌙

In Spanish there are several verbs that exist that have different meanings in the perfective aspect (ex. present perfect or preterite) and in the imperfective aspect (ex. imperfect past or present tense.) This post is going to take a look at 7 of the most common verbs that change meanings in the perfect and imperfect aspect.

Note: This post assumes you have an understanding of the preterite, imperfect, present tense, and present perfect conjugations. If you don’t know these tenses, how they are different, and how to conjugate them, this post might be difficult to follow.

🌸 Part I - Saber 🌙

The word saber typically means ‘to know’, and in the imperfective aspect it keeps that meaning. Meanwhile, in the perfective aspect the word saber would mean ‘to find out’ or ‘to learn’.

Examples:

¿Sabes tú que Luis habla francés? - Did you know Luis speaks French?

¿Supiste tú que Luis habla francés? - Did you find out that Luis speaks French?

Ella no sabía que su papá estaba muerto - She didn’t know her dad was dead

Ella no ha sabido que su papá estaba muerto - She didn’t find out that her dad was dead

Yo sé esto - I know this

Yo supe esto - I found this out

🌸 Part II - Conocer 🌙

The word conocer typically means ‘to know (a person or place)’ or ‘to be familiar with’, and in the imperfective aspect it still means that. In the perfective aspect, however, the word conocer comes to mean ‘to meet (a person)’.

Examples:

Hace cinco años que lo conocí - It’s been five years since I met him

Hace cinco años que lo conocía - I’ve known him for five years

¿Conoces tú María? - Do you know Maria?

¿Has conocido tú María? - Have you met Maria?

No conocemos la maestra - We don’t know the teacher

No hemos conocido la maestra - We haven’t met the teacher

🌸 Part III - Poder 🌙

The word poder in the imperfective aspect means ‘to be able to’, whereas in the perfective aspect the word poder means ‘to manage to.’

Examples:

Puedo hablar español - I can speak Spanish

Pude hablar español - I managed to speak Spanish

¿Puede hacer eso para mí? - Can you do that for me?

¿Ha podido hacer eso para mí? - Have you managed to do that for me?

Ella podía correr muy rápido - She used to be able to run very fast

Ella pudo correr muy rápido - She managed to run very fast

🌸 Part IV - Estar 🌙

In the imperfective aspect, the word estar typically means ‘to be’, especially with regards to being in a physical or emotional state (ex. sick, happy, sad, excited, etc.) or in a place. In the perfective aspect, the word estar tends to carry a meaning closer to ‘to become’ or ‘to get’.

Examples:

Lo siento, estaba enojada - Sorry, I was angry

Lo siento, estuve enojada - Sorry, I got mad

Estaba enfermo porque comió carne cruda - He was sick because he ate raw meat

Estuvo enfermo porque comió carne cruda - He got/became sick because he ate raw meat

¿Por qué estás triste? - Why are you sad?

¿Por qué has estado triste? - Why have you gotten sad?

🌸 Part V - Tener 🌙

In the imperfective aspect, the word tener tends to mean ‘to have’ or ‘to own’ something. Meanwhile in the perfective aspect, the word tener has a meaning closer to ‘to get’ or ‘to recieve.’

Examples:

Tengo quince dolores - I have fifteen dollars

Tuve quince dolores - I got fifteen dollars

Mi mamá tenía dos perros - My mom used to have two dogs

Mi mamá ha tenido dos perros - My mom has gotten two dogs

Ella tiene un libro - She has a book

Ella ha tenido un libro - She’s recieved a book

🌸 Part VI - Querer 🌙

The word querer in the imperfective aspect typically means ‘to want’ something, and often it is used in conjunction with verb to express wanting to do something. On the other hand, the word querer in the imperfect aspect tends to mean something closer to ‘to try’.

Examples:

Quieres comer una arepa, ¿verdad? - You want to eat an arepa, right?

Quisiste comer una arepa, ¿verdad? - You tried to eat an arepa, right?

Nosotras queríamos comprar una casa - We wanted to buy a house

Nosotras hemos querido comprar una casa - We’ve tried to buy a house

¿Quieren venir ustedes? - Do you all want to come?

¿Quisieron venir ustedes? - Did you all try to come?

🌸 Part VII - No Querer 🌙

The negative form of querer carries a different meaning in the perfective aspect. In the imperfective aspect it simply means ‘to not want’ something, however, in the perfective aspect it actually means something closer to ‘to refuse.’

Examples:

No queríamos ir a la fiesta - We didn’t want to go to the party

No quisimos ir a la fiesta - We refused to go to the party

No quiero ver esa película - I don’t want to see that movie

No he querido ver esa película - I’ve refused to see that movie

¿Todavía no quieres ir? - You still don’t want to go?

¿Todavía no quisiste ir? - You still refused to go?

Disclaimer: I’m not a native speaker of Spanish, just a lover of the language. If there are any mistakes or things you think I missed please let me know so I can correct this post! 💖

[goodbysunball]

Quarantine rock, pt. III

Another long overdue update from the indoors. Hope you and yours are hanging in there - if nothing else, there’s no shortage of great music to keep you company. Here’s my take on some recent favorites.

C. Lavender, Myth of Equilibrium (Editions Mego)

Admittedly had not heard of C. Lavender until her collaborative cassette with Aaron Dilloway dropped earlier this year, but it’s safe to say that the tape was strong enough to blindly buy her new LP on Editions Mego. Myth of Equilibrium has been one of the best surprises from this year, drone at its core but opening up to something much more soothing over repeated listens, despite the jagged edges and tendency to embrace caustic noise. It came as no surprise to find out that C. Lavender embraces sound as a healing medium, as Myth of Equilibrium takes a deep, buzzing bass tone and twists and stretches it until individual packets of sound are weightless and ethereal. “Remedy Potion Extraction” is the most obvious example of this dark-to-light transformation C. Lavender excels at, but mostly the tracks present a satisfying puree of sound over shorter durations (”Engulf the Mystery,” “Dimly Lit Exit”). The brevity is a strength, and in that way C. Lavender reminds me of French duo Femme or even some of Tim Hecker’s work, but without the startling track-to-track transitions of the former or the diaphanous shroud of the latter. The bass keeps Myth of Equilibrium tangible and firmly grounded, and the rest of the sounds conjured by C. Lavender weave a very heady, very rich tapestry. The best respite from 2020 money can buy; soak it in. The LP is sold out from Editions Mego but those in the US can order it direct from C. Lavender for a very fair price.

Kobra, Confusione (Iron Lung)

Alright, I’m admittedly not a huge fan of the cover art for this record, but it’s an easy enough barrier to jump over when the music rips this hard. Kobra is from Italy, and they traffic in a mid-paced, pounding strain of punk that is right up my alley. Sounds like Una Bèstia Incontrolable meets Mecht Mensch to these ears: like the title track, which starts out like “Zombie” and then flips into a UBI-level groove, sax bleating and moaning on top of it all. This is punk through and through, the blown-out drums always there to remind you that this is presented by Iron Lung Records, but there’s a definite early post-punk/art-rock vibe present, too - check the groggy “Fogna” that opens up side B, which kinda sounds like Kobra doing their best impression of the Circle Jerks in Repo Man. The guitars don’t riff as much as they slash and chop, fragmented stabs landing among the onslaught of drums. The vocalist uses a menacing speak-scream (most effectively on ”Sogni Illusioni” and closer “C.P.D.M.”), and if I could speak or read Italian, I’m sure the lyrics would be intelligible amongst the din. Confusione is loaded with hits, but when the band clicks and all the parts come together, Kobra whips up a maelstrom; hard to deny the power of “Dentro Agli Schermi” (my favorite track) or “C.P.D.M.,” and though both of those tracks feature the saxophone, I’m glad the band wields that weapon sparingly for maximum effect. One of the most memorable and exciting punk releases of 2020, for sure, a formidable, brawny brew that’ll flex your pencil neck and have you involuntarily pogoing in no time. Highest recommendation! Confusione is sold out direct from Iron Lung, but Sorry State, Feel It, Grave Mistake, etc. all have it in stock.

Oily Boys, Cro Memory Grin (Cool Death)

The best musical news this year, hands-down: NEW OILY BOYS. Not only was an Oily Boys LP drop completely unexpected, I am completely steamrolled by this record every single time I drop the needle, from the opening “UGH!” on “Given” to the nearly nine minutes of caustic self-loathing on “GTrance.” There’s a definite metallic edge to the way Oily Boys approach punk, from the riffing to Drew Bennett’s brutally intense vocal performance, but while most punkers approach metal as a gimmick and end up sounding pretty tame, Oily Boys just sound absolutely mad - the 1-2 of “C.B.D.” into “My Sex Life,” especially the wild guitar theatrics on the latter, carry an intense, teeth-clenching physicality. If that was all Oily Boys did on this LP, it’d be a success, but the band throws curveballs and mid-tempo fits across Cro Memory Grin’s 13 tracks. “Heat Harmony” was the most jarring inclusion at first, relatively tuneful dark punk that could’ve been lifted from drummer Yuta Matsumura’s other band Orion. It definitely works, and the slightly softened approach of the band thankfully has no effect on Drew Bennett’s vocals. “Lizard Scheme” is another detour, swelling noise and Bennett’s barking (”Stupid is as stupid does, jazz boy!” is a choice lyric), reminiscent of Gutter Gods’ dizzying “Allan.” Probably the two most pummeling tracks here slow the tempos significantly and close out each side: “Stick Him,” my favorite track, and “GTrance,” the exhaustive closer. “Stick Him” is absolutely ferocious, the band emphasizing the quiet-loud dynamic with saxophone, the loud parts lurching into place like heavy machinery turning on, Bennett screaming the title with a violent ferocity. Where “Stick Him” is feral, the screed unleashed on “GTrance” by Bennett feels therapeutic, expelling every bit of toxic bile into the song without a break, and even if there is no resolution, the end result is a momentary peace, the same kind afforded by pushing to the full extent of one’s mental or physical abilities. That kinda seems like the point of Oily Boys, from the self-effacing name to the poisonous lyrical content to the absolutely ferocious performance: know your enemies, push back against the lowering boot of the world, fuck the rest. 2020′s best punk record, no contest, and maybe even the best record/soundtrack to the perfect storm of this year. Sick artwork/inserts on this LP, a nice job as usual from Cool Death. Cro Memory Grin is still available direct from them, and Goner still has it domestically.

Subdued, Over the Hills and Far Away (Roachleg)

With last year’s Bad Breeding LP still fresh and prescient as ever, and the political climate seemingly spiraling into reality TV while people mercilessly struggle and suffer all over, it seemed like scoping this new LP from the UK’s Subdued was more than appropriate. It’s reductive and maybe a little offensive to mention UK compatriots Bad Breeding in the first line of this review, but the similarities are hard to ignore: both bands create fiery politically-charged punk that flirts with metal and noise, delivered in screamed vocals with a heavy British accent. Subdued don’t fly off the rails as much as Bad Breeding; there’s more of a Crass/Rudimentary Peni vibe, with the emphasis on vocal delivery and riffs rather than conjuring a visceral tornado of noise. Sometimes the riffs can be a little clunky (particularly the end of “The Joke,” even though “Is hope the joke?” is a pretty powerful lyric), and for how much room the vocals are given, the lyrics can tread into oft-used clichés. Doesn’t make the message any less true, and I think the longer I spend with Over the Hills and Far Away, the more I come under its spell. “Problem of Evil” is probably the best song here, a near-perfect blend of deathrock, stomping riffs and barked vocals, and when it turns into the sprint of “No More,” Subdued are an undeniable force. Not sure if it just takes me until those two songs to warm up to Over the Hills, but the B-side of the LP seems to be more memorable - like the world-beating metallic riffs of the title track, or the frenetic guitar solo that finishes off “Call to Suffer.” There’s more than enough at play on Over the Hills to keep me coming back, and overall it’s a strong debut LP, and a great reason to check in with what Roachleg Records is bringing to the US punk scene. Cop the LP direct from Roachleg, and if you’re lucky you might have a chance at one of the limited-to-100 hand-screened covers. La Vida Es Un Mus put out the LP for the rest of the world, another solid co-sign for Subdued.

Aviador Dro, Nuclear, Sí 7″ (La Vida Es Un Mus) // Algara, Enamorados Del Control Total 7″ (La Vida Es Un Mus)

I don’t think these two 7″s have much in common other than the fact that they’re both put out by La Vida Es Un Mus, they’re both sung in Spanish and they’ve both been ruling my turntable this year. The Aviador Dro record is a reissue, one that came out last year, and it’s a gem: sci-fi keyboard punk from the '80s, the titular track one of the best songs I’ve ever heard, a slinking, funky beat driving the song into your brain forevermore. The B-side feels more edgy than the A-side but it’s all undeniably great; Paco did us all a favor by repressing this record, and continuing to keep it in print. Fast forward to 2020 for Algara’s 7″, their debut, which came out way back in pre-pandemic January. The cover art caught my eye, and the spindly, groovy drum-machine post-punk within is immediately addictive. The label says Crisis and Joy Division are in Algara’s musical DNA, and that sounds about right; the sound is spare, you can kinda dance to it, the bass lines carry the weight and the wiry guitars smear into each other (”Miedo a Perder”) or stitch single golden threads into the tapestry (”Dopamina y Producción”). Algara’s a 4-piece now, and they’ve got an LP coming soon on LVEUM, so 2021′s lookin’ bright. Both 7″s are mandatory, widely available from distros and direct from La Vida Es Un Mus. Scope the feature that Lulu’s wrote on Algara while you’re at it.

Saskia, Eeuwig Op Reis 7″ (Stroom)

The record collector sweat starts when you read about a 7″ reissued from a “highly intimate cassette” limited to ten or so copies in 1983, circulated only amongst friends and family. My eyes typically roll at such uncovered “gems” or whatever, but these two songs definitely deserve a wider audience. “My Lips Get Hot” splits the difference between the foggy late night atmosphere conjured by Chromatics and a breezy Balearic vibe, topped by sensual, high-pitched vocals that really drive the whole woozy, lovesick message home. The flip has the instrumental “You Left Your Soul Behind,” wherein said Balearic vibe is now at the forefront. It’s a strong track on its own, but kinda just serves as the comedown from “My Lips Get Hot” in this presentation. Stroom continues to unearth overlooked records with unnerving ease, and this Saskia 7″ might be the one that makes the label a more common name. One copy of this record is left at Stroom’s Bandcamp as of this writing - move quick.

Glen Schenau, “Jhumble” b/w “Jearnest” (self-released)

Glen Schenau is at the forefront of Brisbane’s experimental musical scene; he’s done time in Kitchen’s Floor, Bent and has even self-released a few things under his own name. The solo stuff I’ve checked by him was restless, frantic guitar and bass lines seemingly swimming against the current of his Bryan Ferry crooning. While there’s no denying that it was singular, it never really coalesced for me in the same way that this new 7″ does. That same restlessness is still at play here, obvious from the beginning strumming of “Jhumble,” and Schenau seems to still relish the vocal stylings of Ferry, though his vocals also remind me of some of the alterna-rock radio I was subjected to while working in a warehouse during summers between school. Normally that sort of vocal homage would send me running to the hills, but it really works here: the busy guitar line and the drums lock into an undeniable groove on “Jhumble,” and whatever Glen is singing, the melody is stuck in my head for days. “Jearnest” is my pick, the more difficult foil to “Jhumble”’s pop leanings. The sprightly guitar at the beginning is submerged into this rubbery goo, which eventually takes over the song while a whistle floats in to carry a melody over the tarry pit. Can’t say I’ve ever heard anything like it, but it doesn’t just float along on that claim; this is a highly potent brew served up on both sides of this single. Glen self-released this record and it’s limited to 150 copies; mine came with a hand-written note and drawing, which was a nice touch. High marks all around. I’ve got to echo Matt K.’s sentiments when he reviewed this record: “Seems like every Australian band gets their own album without much delay, so I have to ask: where the hell is Glen Schenau’s?!”

[littlemsstark3000]

IronWidow Fluff #02

Peter watched over Anya as she answered the quiz on the Stark pad while settled at her study table. They just finished the first of her assigned modules the previous day, so this day was dedicated to review and check-for-understanding.

When Tony and Natasha decided that they wanted Anya to do homeschooling, there was only one person they both identified and agreed on going through this with her: him. The couple were very protective of their almost 5-year-old, only child and would give her the best in everything; at the same time, keep her safe no matter what. Regular schooling, with all its risks, did not appeal to them, at least not in the meantime; hence, they went for the other option. They still get to be called for work and even overseas engagements though, either for the Avengers or Stark Industries, so even if they were very much willing to get hands-on with homeschooling, it was wiser to get someone who could do it consistently.

Without second thoughts after Natasha talked to him about it, Peter took the job. He has always treated Anya as the baby sister he never had, like how the parents have been treating him as their own son way before their firstborn. So five times a week, he spends 2-3 hours with the kid before he goes to SI office for his apprenticeship. He was expected to work there after his upcoming graduation from MIT.

Tony had a room in the tower re-decorated to be their classroom, with all the educational stuff they would need, manual and automated. There were Math charts, Science posters and even Basic Spanish and Russian guide on one of the walls. Projector, printer and scanner were also present. She has a U-shaped study table in the middle of the area - with desktop and a laptop - plus matching swivel chair. Another table on the side with tons of writing, drawing and coloring materials was for paperworks; Peter opted to print assignments for Anya, which Natasha and Tony can help her with, too, outside their class hours. Part of the room has multi-level shelves for books of various kinds and subjects. Needless to say, CCTV and IP security cameras were installed and managing these were part of FRIDAY's high priority protocols.

"You done?" he asked when Anya looked up to him and handed her pad.

"Yes!" the kid excitedly replied.

"Alright," he browsed to see if each item has an answer across it. "Let's see..."

"Check it now, Petey?"

He chuckled.

Someone obviously got Mr. Stark's impatience.

"Yeah, yeah, I will. Just sit down while I do."

"I want to see..." she even pouted at him.

"Okay then," he pulled another chair and sat beside her, settling the pad on the table. "Can you count the checks? You should have 10 checks for you to get three stars."

"Yes! I will count!"

"Great. Here we go..." He clicked on the handwriting tool to check each item on the screen.

The first one was correct.

"One!" Anya said aloud.

And so was the second one.

"Two!"

It continued on, with no mistake.

"Three! Four! Five!"

He glanced at her and tapped her head lightly.

"This is looking good, little miss!"

Anya's smile grew bigger; her eyes looked more eager to see the end result.

He checked the next ones, too.

"Six! Seven! Eight!"

"Wow, just two more. Are you getting a perfect score?"

Anya confidently nodded.

He made another check.

"Nine!"

"And the last one..."

Check again.

"Ten! Yehey!" Anya stood from her small swivel chair and jumped around.

"Awesome! You did very good, Anya! C'mon, gimme a hug."

Anya ran into his arms for a brief hug before she pulled out again, not forgetting their deal.

"Three stars!" She pointed spots at the back of her left hand. "Here and here and here -"

"Of course," he reached for the stamp and pressed it on her chosen spots. "Here... one... two... three stars."

"Thank you, Petey!" Anya hugged him again.

"You're always welcome."

"I will show this to Papa and Mama!" her eyes lit up as she looked at him again.

"We should. Wait - FRIDAY, where's Mom and Dad?" he inquired.

"Boss and Natasha are in the 90th floor. Should I make a call?" FRIDAY promptly responded.

"Yes, please connect me to them."

"Initiating the intercomm connection."

After barely 3 seconds, Tony's voice was heard from the other line.

"Hey Pete."

"Dad, we're done for the day. Anya has something to show you and Mom."

"Mama!" the little girl cut in.

"Hello, love," Natasha spoke. "You can come over here with Petey; I'm just helping Papa to prepare for work."

"Ok!" Anya already tugged on his hand to the door.

He stood up. "Let's go!"

*****

When Peter and Anya walked out of the elevator at the 90th floor, their mom and dad were already at the common area; Natasha was still fixing her husband's necktie, his hands on either side of her hips.

"Hey offsprings," Tony greeted them.

Anya ran to them. "Papa, I have stars!"

The billionnaire propped himself on the ground so his daughter could show her little hand.

"Oh, wow," he gently held her and turned to Natasha who knelt beside him too. "Look at that, Mama."

"Did Petey put these on you?" their mom asked.

"Yes! I have 10 checks."

"She got 10 of 10 in the quiz for our first module, Dad," Peter explained.

Tony's smile widened, pleased with the news. "Yeah? That's great!"

"Good job, love," Natasha kissed Anya's head. "What do you want as a reward?"

"Name it," their dad added.

"Uhmmm... I want donuts."

"Gotcha. I'll be back after my meeting, okay? You prepare with Mama and Peter, and we'll have Donuts Party later."

"Nice, Donuts Party! Do you want to invite anyone?" Natasha asked.

Anya's response was automatic. "Uncle Rhodey and Uncle Clint and Uncle Brucey and Grumpy Fury!"

"Looks like we're gonna call Uncles Assemble with reinforcement."

"Papa, I want the chocolate ones. And strawberry ones."

"Whatever you want, bambina," Tony kissed her head this time before carrying her, not minding his business suit. "I'll get you all the available flavors of donuts."

Natasha turned to him, smiling. "Thanks, Teacher Peter."

"Anytime, Mom."

Peter mentally shook his head and smiled back as he watched them. Donuts Party for a 10-point quiz? He wondered what's in store for Anastasia Maria Stark's first ever test.

*****

Homeschooling was @autumnwoodsdreamer 's idea. 😊💕

[nekoannie-chan]

Auction

Title: Auction.

Ship: Pre-Serum!Steve Rogers X Multimillionaire!Reader.

Word count: 572 words.

Rating: Mature.

Square: N5 “Bachelor auction”.

Summary: Steve can’t believe someone chose him in the action.

Warnings/Tags: Steve is auctioned, Bachelor auction, reader is super rich.

A/N: This is my entry to @allcapsbingo. AC1078.

You can read it on Wattpad and Ao3 too.

@saiyanprincessswanie

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.

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DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

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If you like it, please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

Tags: @sinceimetyou @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad @navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight @shield-agent78 @charmed-asylum  @pandaxnienke @real-fbi @smokeandnailz  @white-wolf1940 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @xoxonotme @bluemusickid @leyannrae  @harrysthiccthighss @marvelatthisone @caplanbuckybarnes @sapphire-rogers @lizzieolseniskinda @notyourtypicalrose  @hallecarey1 @nana1000night @talia-rumlow @writingshae @alexxavicry @azulatodoryuga @daemonslittlebitch @chaoticcollectivenightmare​ @endlesstwanted  @chemtrails-club  @marigoldreamer​ @whiskeytangofoxtrot555​  @here4thefanfics​ @theestorm​ @patzammit​

Steve sighed, he hated the days that were auction days, he knew he would never get picked, who would want someone as useless and sickly as him?

Yes, both Bucky and he had offered to participate, rather, Bucky had dragged him to that place and now he was alone there, obviously, Bucky had already been chosen, but he... he was still "trapped" in that place, maybe the next time would be the last time he would be there because he was sure that soon he would be kicked out of the place.

One of your friends recommended the place to you after you told her that you would like to donate to charity.

You watched the first man that came up, you weren't interested in him, he seemed too "common", you were beginning to hate your friend, it seemed more like he sent you to a place to get a date instead of what you really wanted to do.

It wasn't until he got on stage Steve that you paid attention, you smiled, of course, no one knew about your other plan and he was perfect. You knew it would be easy, no one was bidding on him, but that didn't mean you couldn't make it enjoyable. The opening bid was exceedingly low, or at least for you, fifty dollars.

“Five thousand dollars," you raised your voice although it wasn't necessary, nevertheless, you didn't hesitate to show confidence.

You felt the stares on you, as well as the murmurs behind you, you even though you heard comments about it being too much money.

Steve looked at you in amazement, no one had ever even dared to bid a dollar more than the opening bid.

“Are you sure? “The presenter questioned nervously, afraid that it might be some joke since probably in all his years working there, he had never heard such a high bid.

You nodded, after all, if you were doing a share of good works for charity.

“I think he was wrong," Steve whispered as you drove to their new home.

“Shut up, I wasn't wrong, I have a lot of plans with you," you replied. As soon as you got home you would make a few phone calls.

Steve swallowed hard, unsure if you meant what he thought you meant.

“I need that serum! “you spat, annoyed, you didn't even care what it cost. Colonel, I already told you that I have enough money to pay for it, I can even donate for our army, I promise you that if you give me the serum in return I will give you the best super soldier you could have ever dreamed of.

You continued talking for a few minutes, and when you hung up you smiled, you had achieved your goal, next week you would take Steve to the place where you had been instructed, but first, you would gain his trust.

Steve had not moved an inch from the room where you told him he would stay, although he had looked around the room, he turned to the door when he heard it open.

“Steve, is there something special you like? “you asked.

“Pai-Painting," Steve whispered.

“Tomorrow I'll take you to buy everything you need," you said.

“Steve couldn't look at you, he didn't understand why you were so generous with him.

“Oh, Steve, I have big plans for you," you replied, putting a hand on his cheek.

[weirdletter]

London Lovecraft Festival: A Teatrichal Celebration of the Works and Mythos of H.P. Lovecraft. February 3-9, 2019 at The Old Red Lion Theatre, 418 St. John Street, London, UK. Info: oldredliontheatre.co.uk; londonlovecraft.com.

Taking place over seven nights, the festival will have original and gently-loved productions presented to London audiences deep in the depths of darkest pub theatredom. With world premieres as well as tried and true creations, both Lovecraft novices and deeper initiates should find their palates tickled and their brains disturbed.

6:00pm Sunday, February 3rd Pickman’s Model Meet Richard Upton Pickman, an artist shunned by the establishment because of his horrifying paintings. But what kind of company has Pickman been keeping? And who — or what — pays a visit to his studio on one terrifying evening? The story is perfect material for Nunkie Theatre — one-man performances by Robert Lloyd Parry, who is best known for his adaptations of the work of PD James. He’s an amazing actor, with a real talent for bringing a story to life and sending a shiver down your spine. Although this is a rehearsed reading, the fright factor should be very high as the original story is one of Lovecraft’s best and Parry is an expert at filling intimate spaces with lurking horror.

7:30pm Sunday 3rd Night of 1000 Tentacles Clocktopus Cabaret presents: Night of 1000 Tentacles! On their second expedition,  Captain Bang Bang and her trustworthy first mate, Stormina Teacup, set out for eldritch realms. Join them and a host of London burlesque and cabaret favorites, including Dolly Trolly with a brand new Lovecraft themed act, and necromantic sorcerer – er, magician – Chris Benkin with his sleight of tentacle, for an outstanding steampunk/transdimensional night of wonders. You will gasp, you will gibber, you will wonder … where did they hide those eyeballs?

9:15 PM Sunday 3rd Cool Air Dr. Muñoz has spent their life battling the forces of death. When Miskatonic University student Natalie Peaslee comes looking for help for her heart, she has no idea how far Muñoz will go to win that fight. As summer rages, they’ll both need to keep a cool head to make it out of Arkham alive. This staged reading directed by Emma Muir Smith marks the European debut of Ron Sandahl’s stage adaptation, originally presented at Seattle’s Open Circle Theatre in 2005.

7:00pm Monday 4th Lovecraft Shivers Do you like stories that make the hairs stand up at the back of your neck? Sam Enthoven’s Shivers nights have been giving aficionados that sensation of spiders down the spine for more than a year now. Sam picks and adapts the finest frightening literature and finds great performers to read it. The twist with Shivers is that these tales are then paired with live sounds from his uniquely uncanny instrument, the theremin, and some of the best up-and-coming artists from London’s experimental music scene. The result is a kind of cinema for the ears and imagination, with storytelling and sound combining to draw you irresistibly in, to reach cold fingers into your mind, to give you Shivers. The stories of H.P. Lovecraft have, naturally, featured at previous Shivers nights. We’ve performed From Beyond in the chapel of Abney Park Cemetery and Dagon in the hold of Spanish galleon The Golden Hinde. The opportunity, however, to put together a new all-Lovecraft Shivers for the festival that celebrates Horror’s dark prince himself is, like his legacy, irresistible. We look forward to scaring you.

7:00pm Monday 4th Albertina West: Reanimator Schoolmates Albertina West and Carla Milburn are scientists in  pursuit of knowledge – about reanimating the dead. But when the formula only seems to work on the freshest of bodies, it’s a small step to take from robbing graves to murder. And for some reason, the awakened dead don’t seem very happy about it… In this work commissioned especially for the London Lovecraft Festival, TL Wiswell extends her suite of genderswitched Lovecraft tales to this perennial favorite. Come and see a play Borne and Walk (but not come back for revenge).

7:00pm Tuesday 5th and Wednesday 6th Providence “Life is a hideous thing.” Prepare to be amazed, terrified, and driven insane! Great Cthulhu may be sleeping beneath the sea, but in Providence, Rhode Island, Lovecraft can’t get a wink. Join the morose and miserable Howard Phillips Lovecraft, author of ‘The Call of Cthulhu’, ‘Shadow Over Innsmouth’ and other incredibly weird tales, as he contemplates the many mistakes that make up his life. His father went mad when he was four. He suffered a mental breakdown when he was eighteen. He lived with his overprotective mother until he was thirty. He loathed seafood, loved coffee and hated immigrants. Indeed he despised anyone who wasn’t an 18th century English Gentleman.  But he hated himself most of all. Lovecraft’s losses were fortunately our gains as his enigmatic, tortured mind gave birth to a body of work we now consider as the foundations of the modern horror genre. Using physical comedy, live music and all the classic horror tropes you can rattle a chain at, Dominic Allen (Belt-Up, A Common Man) and Simon Maeder (Superbolt Theatre) explore a wretched life and ask a haunting question: can any love be salvaged from one so filled with hate? Winner of Vaults Festival ‘Pick of the Week’ award.

9:00pm Tuesday 5th and Wednesday 6th The Lurking Fear and other stories Nestled in amongst the Catskills, sits Tempest Mountain. Far from a vacation destination. This mountain is shrouded in death and destruction. At the heart of all the horror, sitting empty and imposing atop the mountain, is the legendary House of Martense. No-one from the town below, that lies quivering in the shadow of the Martense mansion, ever dares venture up there. Especially when there’s a storm brewing. That is until an inquisitive young journalist, with a self-confessed ‘Love of the grotesque and horrible’, finds herself alone, following the trail of what the locals will only call “The Lurking Fear”. Broken Word Productions Presents The Lurking Fear and Other Stories, an adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft’s “The Lurking Fear”, as well as an introduction to some of his shorter stories. With the aid of puppetry and storytelling, follow our Hero as she faces one of Lovecraft’s deadliest monsters. This is Broken Word’s second theatre production, following it’s 4 star debut with Train Journey at the Camden Fringe earlier this year. They are excited to be taking, somewhat of a darker turn in presenting the World Premiere of (in their opinion) not one, but two of Lovecraft’s finest horrors.

9:00pm Thursday 7th The Witching Hour Montague Rhodes James returns with another selection of unsettling tales of antiquarian terror! Brave the horrors lying in wait within “An Episode of Cathedral History”! Witness the spectral malevolent seeking revenge in “A Warning to the Curious”! One-man show and follow-up to our successful touring production of “Old Haunts”. Jonathan Goodwin plays M.R. James in a show scripted by himself, and directed by Gary Archer.

7:00pm Thursday 7th Lovecraft After Dark Allow the cosmic horror of Howard Philip Lovecraft to envelop your senses and blast your imagination! At any moment, the terrors of the Ancient Ones may be unleashed upon the world. The Elder Gods scrutinise our every deed, awaiting their opportunity to reclaim what was once theirs. Madness will be a blessing to those mere mortals who witness the crawling chaos soon to be released upon mankind! Jonathan Goodwin plays Cornelius Pike in Lovecraft After Dark. The show is scripted by Goodwin, and co-directed by Goodwin and Gary Archer.

7:00pm Friday 8th & Saturday 9th 3:00pm Saturday 9th Late Night with Cthuhlu It’s been a few hundred years since the Great Old Ones awoke from their ancient slumber and enslaved humanity. Yet somehow, against all the odds, life has gone back to normal…ish. Thankfully, the people of London now have something to look forward to at the end of a long day of suffering and toiling. A being known only as THE PRODUCER has ordered the city’s best Television Station (or maybe the city’s *only* television station) be reopened, and for the broadcast of a new state-approved talk show “Late Night With Cthulhu” to stretch its tendrils onto the airwaves. Join your hosts Arabella Fenneck Reid and Sebastian Baxter Thompson for the newest instalment of your new favourite (and mandatory) evening of post-apocalyptic light entertainment. Late Night With Cthulhu is a heart-shuddering romp through a world after the return of the Great Ones. So come along and tune in for an evening of all stars, guest stars, and things beyond the stars! If you’re lucky, you might just go insane…” Trigger warnings: Strobe Lights, Loud Noises, Creeping Dread.

5:00pm Saturday 9th Writing Lovecraft A rehearsed reading of the winning play written for the London Lovecraft Festival.

9:00pm Friday 8th and Saturday 9th The Colour Out of Space With their signature live-Foley treatment, Shedload bring the already potent storytelling of Lovecraft to life through a carefully structured mix of live readings by highly-trained and experienced actors, and sound effects, performed by our very own Foley experts. For this, we rely on a whole ‘shed’s’ worth of sound makers, including every day items such as gardening tools, coal scuttles and salad spinners, as well as more niche instruments such as the ‘sea hoops’, grapefruit (and other choice fruit & veg items), and our prized possession: the Waterphone; an instrument that will no doubt be familiar to every horror film fan. So picture the scene – a dimly-lit stage, with a set comprising Arkham’s town sign and boundaries; a lone narrator, centre stage, using to great effect Lovecraft’s faithfully-adapted writing to describe the horror of the disintegrating farm animals before him – but hang on! – not only are you picturing this, you’re hearing it too: A pig barks out its last rattling breath as its skull collapses – its rotting flesh spills out onto the ground… – voice actor, red pepper, grapefruit, and a hammer – The RØDE mic does the rest. Chilling screams from the attic, complete with nails scratching on wooden floorboard, and the palpable wail of the strange celestial matter plaguing the farm… namely, The Colour out of Space.

12:00pm through 10:00pm, Sunday 3rd through Saturday 9th Patient 4620 Gretel Sauerbrot: a once famous artist, admitted to the Raventhorne Institution and then never heard from again. You are invited to the Royal Museum of Contemporary Art, and through a series of audio guides you explore and uncover clues to Gretel’s past. This unique theatre show is a blend of immersive theatre, auditory storytelling, and art installation; resulting in a rich and sensory experience that won’t be easily forgotten. To experience the show at its fullest, audiences should bring a Smartphone or WiFi enabled device, along with a headset. In the event you cannot provide your own device and/or headset, you will be loaned items on entering the show.

[keepingupwithfundies]

Bringing Up Bates Season 8 Episode 1: Ultrasounds, Wedding Vows, and a Bride-to-be?

Tori finds out the answer to her most pressing question: does her baby have hair? while Evan gets an answer to a pressing question of his own and Zach & Whit renew their vows. 

-T 

Season 8 opens at Zach & Whitney’s house. Erin, Whitney, Carlin and Josie are having a get together to catch up. There is a lot of food and plants to put in new pots. With the engagement, one on the way, Everly’s arrival and the vow renewal, there is a lot to talk about. Erin asks Josie about her engagement, and Josie says it was all so perfect. Erin asks if she was nervous since she was; Josie said she was a little nervous but it just happened so fast. Josie says it will definitely be outdoors which she’s always wanted. Carlin’s engagement will be next, and she knows it is coming soon. Erin asks if she wants it to be a surprise and Carlin says yes. Whitney also says Everly is the happiest baby and asks about the transition to three. Erin says 80% is amazing, 20% makes you want to tear your hair out but the good balances out. Erin says right now three is a perfect number but next year when she is holding a new baby four is gonna sound better and it will have to be up to Chad she she melts down around babies.  Whitney’s vow renewal is coming up and they are excited to get married again and it is gonna be fantastic. Next, they arrange succulents into pots and Carlin says they are easy to take care of. Carlin says the family is so small with Josie working, Trace at the Sheriff’s department, Katie at cosmetology school, Nathan and Lawson traveling with Nathan wanting to go to helicopter school. The middle guys note how empty it is now, and Kelly says there are only 14 kids left at home and since they are older they are often gone. Jus says it is totally peace now. The sister bonding session concludes.

Next, we go to a restaurant with Kelly, Josie and wedding planner Kim. The first thing to do is to make a final decision on the venue but most outdoor venues are booked on all Saturdays in October already. Kim suggests Cove Lake State Park since they do weddings there. They discuss the number of guests and Josie says to To-Do list is very big. Josie has found backdrop that she loves: a circle of flowers. Kim & Kelly are trying to come up with how to do it- Kim suggests willow branches and says they should do it soon so they dry by the wedding. Josie says they will be pushing it to get everything done on time but they eat before the food gets cold.

Carlin and Katie have road tripped to the Stewart family home with balloons and gifts and cupcakes. Carlin says they families have a lot in common. Evan’s sister asks what’s going on with them and Evan jokes that he is waiting for her to ask him to marry her. Carlin laughs. They then discuss their plans for the weekend starting with gifts. Carlin gives him a deck of cards with a list of reasons why she loves him. The glue didn’t dry perfectly and they are slightly stuck together but Evan likes them.

Next, Carlin and Evan and his family go to play putt putt/miniature golf. Both couples are competitive. The whole family gets really into the game- apparently this is one of the Stewarts favorite activities. Ethan, Evan's brother, asks about engagement and Evan says he has plans but Carlin doesn't know about it yet. He is going to ask Gil and Kelly soon. At the end of the game, Carlin & Evan tie and give each other a big hug. Carlin is disappointed she didn’t beat him but says they will have to have another date.

Gil & Kelly visit Tori & Bobby for the 4D ultra sound. Tori is 27 weeks and excited for a more sentimental ultrasound and really wants to see if he has hair. Kade is still breech, which is normal at 27 weeks. Babies usually turn in the 30-weeks, the ultrasound tech says.  They flip to 4D to see his face. Tori is so excited to see him, Kelly and Erin says she will be a great mom. Addee says her baby will be the wildest; Callie says no he wont, she’ll train him. Tori is disappointed to find out that he does not yet have a lot of hair since Bobby was bald as a baby. However there is some hair and time to grow more, so Tori is hopeful. Bobby says it is always special to see the baby and so soon they will be holding him.

Next, Evan, Gil and Kelly go to a Mexican restaurant since they are in the area visiting Bobby & Tori. At the hostess stand, Evan teaches Gil "three" in Spanish and they sit down to eat. Evan says he wanted to take them out to ask them a question and they have been together for almost 2 years, and he loves her so much and they both feel it is God’s will for them to get married if it is Gil & Kelly’s will as well, and so he asks for permission. Gil does the fundie dad hem and haw for a moment. Gil says they already like him, and them as a couple, and now he does have permission to propose. “We think you’re the guy” Gil says. Gil has a hard time even though he knows they are right for each other. Evan says if it is ok engagement in September because it is beautiful weather and before Josie’s wedding.

At Zach & Whit’s, the happy couple is preparing for their vow renewal [hereinafter VR to save me some typing]. “We’re good at this- we’re gonna be pros!” Zach jokes. They load up the car and head to the venue. The VR is at Hunter Valley Farms, an outdoor venue, with a pond in the background. Riley, the coordinator introduces herself and she walks them through the ceremony at the venue and shows them all what would happen. Zach’s groomsmen are Trace, Jackson, Warden, Isaiah, with Lawson singing and Nathan seating the family. Kelly is excited for Whitney’s parents who were not at the first wedding to be there this time. Whitney’s dad tears up giving her away at the rehearsal. Whitney talks about how her biggest regret is hurting her parents and the choices she made but she is glad that this VR is a chance to show that while she’s made mistakes, God and her parents were there with open arms. This VR is the start of a new life. There will be a sand ceremony with the Bates and Perkins parents there to show their unity. Zach says it was such a great rehearsal, everyone is confident, so something will go wrong tomorrow.

It is the day of the VR and Josie arrives to do Whitney’s hair. Josie and Whitney have always had a bond and she was honored to be a bridesmaid. Renee arrives with her dress and Whitney says she wanted something more mature and classy this time around. Carlin arrives, slightly late like a Bates, and also mentions she was honored to be asked to be a bridesmaid. They finish getting ready, and it is time for Whitney to see her dad. He is very emotional getting to see her ready for the VR. At the photographer’s suggestion, they do all the pictures before the ceremony and there is a lot of stuff they cannot find- sand, a tie, little books with the vows- but Brandon goes out and buys sand, and the tie and vows are located. It is time for the ceremony.

The parents sit, and the bridal party comes in. Lawson walks Kaci and Bradley down the aisle. Then, Whitney and her dad make their way down the aisle to Come Thou Fount. Whitney says her heart is so full all she can do is cry. Zach says it means more to him than anybody to have her walking down the aisle to him again. Whitney is formally given away by her father and then they read their vows to each other. Zach renews his vows, saying he loves her and how blessed he is. Whitney cries through her vows while many of the Bates and Whitney's family cry. The parents all come up to pour the stand together. Nathan says this vow renewal is about healing, forgiveness, and letting go and how important and special it was to see that. Lawson sings during the sand pouring. Zach and Whitney kiss, and embrace. Whitney's dad comes up to pray at the end of the ceremony. Zach thanks him as he comes up. Whitney thanks everyone for their prayers and for the chance to do this with her parents. Then her dad prays and hugs both of them. Gil presents them for the second time and their make their way out of the ceremony holding their kids. Whitney says it was the perfect day and they were glad it happened.

There is food and cake at a reception for celebrating together. Whitney says when they bought their house they promised Jackson, Warden and Isaiah that they would tell them first if they ever had any announcement so they tell them ~something~ and then the boys take a lap. Then they go into the reception and Bradley announces that mommy has a baby in her belly. The family rejoices and the episode concludes here.

[digoxinpurpurea2-blog]

One of my grandfathers died of AIDS complications before I was born.

There, that's my pound of flesh. You have to present those before anyone listens to you on this fucking website.

I didn't delete my tumblr because oh no I'm the Hamilton cannibal mermaid freak. I have been that for years. And, for what it's worth, I never interacted with Israa as Israa. She tried to interact with me, once, two years ago, about the intentionally dumb garbage I wrote in my spare time. I ignored her because I didn't know who she was and I didn't care.

Nah, I deleted my tumblr because you freaks kept sending me death threats and I couldn't exactly deal with that after being awake for four days and trying to manage the emotional fallout of this monster.

Don't send people death threats, you fucking loons.

This was not about fandom, because I do not orient my world around fandom. This was about my grandfather, and not just him, and not just the other people I have known who have had their lives irrevocably altered by HIV, and not just the fact that she stole money. This was about basic common decency. It's not about me. I'm not going to pretend I'm an angel or anything but I have never done anything like this.

But this is not about me.

The person behind hivliving, Alix McLiar:

1. Lives in a $500,000 waterfront house in a wealthy suburb in the US with her married and very wealthy parents, both of whom have terminal degrees in the sciences

2. Goes to a prestigious private out-of-state university on a merit scholarship worth approximately $250,000 over four years. Or maybe not. Maybe she got kicked out. Still not sure. Her school has been contacted multiple times by multiple people, and the chief of police of her university told me that she would be punished appropriately. I believe, at least, that she's no longer involved in the school's anti-racism groups as an administrator, and I know that her advisor knows, and that the head of the diversity office knows, and that her friends all know and have completely stopped talking to her. Rephrase: she went to a prestigious university while this was going on, majoring in a healthcare-related field.

3. Went to one of the best high schools in the United States

4. Started racefaking on the internet early in her senior year of high school, possibly earlier - she was 17 at the time and is 19 now

5. Vacations internationally with some frequency

6. Is white and cisgender and REALLY FUCKING RICH, meaning she definitely used the money she got as “Israa” for drugs or something

7. Is probably going to do this again

She used the following identities:

1. Israa, Liar Prime - bigender bisexual Chinese-Pakistani 19-year-old, from the China-Pakistan border (once or twice specified as westernmost Xinjiang), HIV+ after being trafficked into sexual slavery by her parents as a young teenager, Muslimah, hijabi, once had her eye popped out of its socket after someone found out her HIV status, once raped and robbed by police at gunpoint, pregnant, miscarried, married, living in India with her wife - blueskysapphic/hivliving/angischuyler

2. Muk(h)ta (she spelled it different ways) - Somali, Catholic, raised in America by her American father who was implied a few times to be a diplomat of some sort, 18, trans woman, lesbian, married to Israa, trafficking victim, not HIV+ - thewarsnotdone

3. Naj, American lesbian POC (never specified other than that), congenitally HIV+, fairly active in ace discourse -allolesbean/hivliving

A bonus identity discovered while investigating:

4. Alix, Lebanese Jewish lesbian, self-identified as an Arab, from Lebanon, living in the states for college - lesbianeclipse

(the Jewish community in Lebanon numbers about forty, by the by. She's fond of doing this)

Israa lied a fuckton but she didn’t just pop out of the blue. She had put together the biracial trafficking victim persona before she started posting her fic. She had convinced other people of this persona before she started writing fanfiction - named the wife, picked out Chinese and “Muslim” names (yes she called Israa her Muslim name), found a beta for her fic, made up a backstory. 

And it wasn’t just hivliving that she was involved in. Israa and friends' modus operandi in fandom was to declare someone a pedophile over fanfiction, sic followers on them, threaten to dox them, force them to divulge (often sexual) traumas, and then use those traumas to harass them into self-harm. She did this multiple times, mainly to young gay teenagers and young trans men and young impoverished women. Some of those people did self-harm. And she knew it. And she kept on bullying, and told anyone who said “Stop it” that how DARE they, she is HIV+, she can do this.

And, given that Israa and her crew placed so much emphasis on IP address hits to Tumblrs as "stalking," it is absolutely impossible that none of them - including the one who followed her on her "Lebanese Jewish" tumblr and Facebook-linked twitter - did not know. This was a squad of teenagers dedicated to threatening and sexually harassing rape victims over fanfiction, with their core defense being 'Israa has been much more traumatized than you, by people like you, and she's protecting other people by hurting you.'

Yeah, no. Weirdly enough, most trauma victims don’t go out of their way to tell victims of child sexual abuse that they should kill themselves.

Israa used the social capital and following she gained being a moral arbiter and Teller Of Wise Truths About HIV in fandom (she and her crew also picked on an HIV+ member of the Hamilton cast on Twitter such that I believe he blocked them, by the fucking way) to start hivliving. 

The person behind Israa is not Muslim. Or Jewish. Or HIV+. Or Somali. Or biracial. She was not trafficked to another country by her parents. She grew up wealthy. It was incredibly obvious she was not who she claimed she was. A basic knowledge of geopolitics would have nipped this shit in the bud literally years ago, because nothing Israa said made any sense. This should have been caught day of. Other people knew and let it ride because it’s fun to cloak your repulsive behavior in the language of social justice to get away with it. Other people should have figured it out.

Point by point:

1. Language

Israa claimed to speak Chinese and Urdu natively and English, Spanish, and Kannada as second languages. She exclusively used English on her blog. She learned English as an adult and yet had absolutely perfect grammar, spelling, mastery of American slang, etc. Is this impossible? No, of course not, but learning a second language as an adult - especially in a non-immersion environment, especially one from an entirely different language family, presents a ton of difficulties. I am currently learning a second language in a non-immersion environment. Writing and reading are easier than speaking, sure, but they do not come easy.

Israa wrote like a native English speaker. She never made the mistakes in grammar or spelling common with people learning English from Chinese. She never had slightly odd turns of phrase borne from not grasping all the tiny nuances of a given English word. She never had an accidental character inserted when she forgot to rotate the language on her keyboard. (I rotate keyboards. Lemme tell you, it happens frequently.) She used British spellings pretty consistently, but not British or Indian English phrasing. Her slang was all American, young, Tumblr-approved. The media she talked about was almost all in English, minus one Chinese-American film and one Chinese novel available in English translation. She never used Chinese or Urdu on her blog, except to write brief greetings or her name. She never talked to anyone in Chinese or Urdu or Kannada. Her punctuation was completely American. She never, ever forgot a word.

This person, from a family poor enough to knowingly traffick a child into sex slavery, was fluent in 4-5 languages, presumably literate in at least 3 (meaning she could effortlessly cycle between 3, possibly 4 different writing systems) and somehow so fluent in a language she had started learning only two, three years before that she was indistinguishable from a native speaker.

How?

How was her English so native-perfect after only two or three years?

Because she didn't only have two or three years to build on. Because she was a native speaker. Duh.

2. Offensive racial stereotypes

Israa consistently presented herself as from western China, right along the China-Pakistan border. Never specified city or town, presumably because Alix was not invested enough in the character to pick a random town name off of Google Maps. She also once posted about her family having a dispute about the family rice farm.

There is almost no rice agriculture in extreme western Xinjiang. Not none, but almost none. Too arid.

But rice, China, right?

Also, bit of a digression as the character could have started wearing it while not living there, but about wearing hijab in Xinjiang: it's not exactly legal, right now. Crackdowns on specifically Uyghur Muslims in Xinjiang have been front-page news in major English-language publications for years. Crackdowns on Hui Muslims (the ethnic group she occasionally claimed to be a part of) are less common, but they happen. And, of course, not all Muslim women wear hijab...but all Muslims are the same, in Israa-world. Speaking of.

Israa claimed that she had relatives in Gaza and that she did medical research at a clinic in Gaza under the auspices of her university.

1. How did she get a passport? It would have to be either a Pakistani or Chinese passport. Traveling from India to the Gaza strip on a Pakistani passport would be, shall we say, extremely difficult. It would be difficult for her to acquire a passport in the first place (did she have any documentation before she was trafficked? After? She was trafficked into India and India repatriates trafficking victims. Presumably she would have been repatriated to China. Would she, an HIV-positive member of a Muslim ethnic minority breaking the law in Xinjiang, be allowed to acquire a passport? How would she afford a passport? etc) 2. How would a 19-year-old non-medical student undergraduate receive permission to enter the Gaza strip, especially if she was traveling on a Pakistani passport? 3. Current Israeli law gives the Minister of the Interior the right to deny access to Israel (and thus Palestine and Gaza) to any HIV+ alien or migrant worker. Presumably Israa counted as an “alien or migrant worker,” so how did she get into the country to travel to Gaza in the first place? 4. Did Israa not realize that Pakistan and Palestine (and China) are culturally very dissimilar because they're in very different parts of the world? This is another China = rice moment. Alix assumed that all Muslims are the same? How would the aforementioned impoverished ethnic minority family be wealthy or mobile enough to have relatives at the other end of the continent?

I'm pretty sure her logic there was "Chinese Muslims are oppressed, Palestinians are oppressed - basically the same, right? Family!"

Oh and by the way she seemed to not remember if her family was based in western Xinjiang or in Karachi. She had sisters living in Karachi at some point and then she told me and, apparently, told quite a few other people, that she would be moving back to her loving parents in China soon after graduating university, at the age of 19.

Her parents who trafficked her.

Hokay.

Oh and besides the 80s high school AIDS crisis AU fic she wrote a lot of seriously offensive “Muslim AU” fic that trafficked in a lot of incredibly harmful and racist tropes about Muslim women but I said I wouldn’t mention fandom

3. Her wife

Mukta/Mukhta - Somali, Catholic, raised in America by her American father, somehow ended up in India as a trafficking victim, monolingual in English. She implied a few times that her father was some kind of diplomat. Muk(h)ta married Israa and they lived happily together as an interfaith couple, doing such coupley things as packaging Christmas care packages at Muk(h)ta's church and having wanted pregnancies.

1. As far as I can tell, Mukta and Mukhta are not Somali names, and if Muk(h)ta was monolingual in English wouldn’t she, like, spell her name in the Latin alphabet consistently 2. There are approximately 100 Somali Catholics. (Like I said, she liked doing that.) 3. An American-raised child of a diplomat being kidnapped (?) and trafficked for sex in India would have made international news. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN INTERNATIONAL NEWS.  4. Legal gay marriage does not exist in India. I wouldn't bring this up, people can call their partners whatever they want in the absence of legal recognition, but Israa made a distinction between "wife" and "girlfriend" and talked about having a wedding in a religious space, so - 5. How were two married female teenagers living together with apparently no problem in Bengaluru? 6. Muk(h)ta and Israa ended up in the same brothel together after being trafficked and one day decided to take the bus out. TO WHERE. HOW DID THEY GET THE MONEY. How Israa talked about the brothel was completely bullshit too and seems to have been based on legal brothels in Australia or Nevada - personal amenities, private bathrooms, private rooms, et cetera. 7. Again, India repatriates, or attempts to repatriate, known minor victims of trafficking - so why were either of them still in India?

Oh also Muk(h)ta's blog literally only talked about how awesome her wife was and Hamilton and she almost never interacted with other people by herself and she would have had the same non-Bengaluru IP address as Israa (same blog organization, frankly, as allolesbean), so -

4. Being a student in India

Israa insisted she, a Chinese (and?) Pakistani national, was a science student at a university in Bengaluru. She would not have been able to do this without documentation and you have to apply for a student visa in India outside of the country.

So:

1. Again. How did she acquire a passport? 2. How did she prove her residential address outside of India? 3. How did she put together the money to pay student fees? 4. How was Muk(h)ta living with her in the interim, if Muk(h)ta wasn't an Indian citizen? 5. How did she overcome the language barrier in either English or Kannada in enough time to start studying science? 6. Where was Muk(h)ta during the application process? In China? In Pakistan? In India? How?

6. The pregnancy

Jesus Christ where do I start

Israa always, always insisted that Muk(h)ta presented as a woman, was understood as a woman, etc, and the pregnancy was expected and wanted - the old ladies at church (who 100% accepted her) cooed over her baby bump.

Two AFAB people and their magic desired child baby bump. 

NO 19-YEAR-OLD HIV+ PERSON IS GOING TO RECEIVE IVF. ANYWHERE. EVER.

When someone pushed back on this, she started insisting that Muk(h)ta was a trans woman, taking hormones, and then later she conveniently miscarried.

1. How did Muk(h)ta access hormones? 2. How did Israa access her HIV medications such that she was fine with having unprotected sex (she stated a couple of times that she and Mukhta were a serodiscordant couple), and/or how did Mukhta access PrEp? 3. Why would two impoverished teenagers living on student visas (and it had to be student visas as, again, India repatriates foreign trafficking victims) plan to have a baby? 4. How did Muk(h)ta, a devout church-going Catholic living in India, safely and successfully navigate as a lesbian trans woman married to a Muslim woman such that her church accepted her and the pregnant partner unconditionally? 5. Same question but about Israa and Israa's mosque, which she apparently attended regularly 6. If the child was planned, how did Muk(h)ta, a young (17? 18?-year-old) trans woman on hormones, access the healthcare that would have assured them both that her hormones weren't interfering with her fertility? 7. How did Israa access neonatal care? 8. How could they afford all of this and yet Israa needed to ask for donations on hivliving to deal with vague miscarriage-related medical bills?

And on. And on. And on.

Am I saying it's impossible for someone to learn a language quickly, or to be Pakistani and have relatives in Gaza, or be a victim of trafficking, or be a lesbian in India, or any of the other things she claimed separately? No, of course not. I'm sure there's actually someone who is very like Israa out there, minus all the lies.

I'm just saying - are you fucking kidding me? Are all of you so illiterate about how the entirety of the world works that this bullshit was allowed to pass unchecked for two fucking years??? Are all of you so illiterate about how the world works that no one wondered why a person with this background would be spending her internet time primarily writing god damn Hamilton fanfiction??? Yes, you are, because instead of putting together this incredibly obvious idiotic racist garbage in a post to point out the many insane consistencies, I had to wade through the goddamn cash.me terms of service LITERALLY MONTHS AFTER SHE STARTED DEFRAUDING PEOPLE.

And that was obviously not the only time she'd demanded money, she just deleted her tumblrs before I could find the "friend's paypal" she had used earlier on blueskysapphic/angischuyler.

Did she ever talk about living with HIV in any meaningful way? Did she ever talk about it in a way that wasn't just yelling about not blaming asexuals or complaining about people twenty years older than her not using Tumblr-approved phrasing or whatever? Did she actually do anything with hivliving besides reblog things other people had posted and tell people to pm her for more information? The real Alix is a 19-year-old college sophomore who is so stupid about public health that she told people RENT is a good introduction to the AIDS crisis in twenty god damn seven teen and told me that she checked herself into a hospital for narcissism (spoilers: there's a huge lack of beds in psychiatric hospitals and no psychiatric ER is going to admit a person not immediately in danger, especially not for NARCISSISM). She had absolutely nothing of value to contribute. She was clearly not talking from a place of expertise. She did not sound like she knew anything about anything and what she did regurgitate was highly Americanized. If her value as the person who ran hivliving was as an HIV+ pregnant married nonbinary non-American trafficking survivor, then it should have been obvious earlier that she was none of those things.

It is not difficult to figure out things like it is costly and difficult to move between countries, or that midcontinental aridity precludes heavy-water-using agriculture, or that adults who are learning English as a third or fourth language from a non-Germanic language will have quite a bit of trouble with grammar and vocabulary even several years in, or that a nineteen-year-old bigender woman-aligned person would have difficulty living safely with her wife anywhere, or that it’s nigh impossible that a person holding a Pakistani passport could get to the Gaza strip, or that most Somalis are not Catholic.

BASIC KNOWLEDGE. BASIC COMMON SENSE. BASIC GEOPOLITICS. A few hours on Wikipedia could have thrown all of this into the garbage. 

Why did any of you believe this garbage?

Easy! Because:

1. Tumblr fetishizes oppression, especially that of trans people and Muslim women, and Alix made herself a persona that hit every jackpot possible 2. Tumblr consumes only fanfiction and thus elevates it to an insane level of importance in culture, therefore fights over fanfiction content are actual justice (it's not that fucking deep) 3. Tumblr has an extremely warped understanding of social justice theory and abuse dynamics 4. Tumblr refuses to absorb any news or history besides that which is presented on Tumblr 5. Alix was so prone to leading harassment mobs that any pushback would lead to more abuse 6. Tumblr hates gay men and would rather listen to an obvious bullshit artist than anyone the community that is primarily affected by HIV

Really can't stress that last one enough. REALLY can't. I remember some big name ~tumblr LGBT-community famous~ blogger telling their thousands of followers that the pogrom against gay men in Chechnya wasn't happening, partially because they were so stupid that they didn't know how to click through on tabloid publications to the serious reporting done by actual journalists, but mostly because Tumblr has decided that gay men aren't oppressed and AIDS is over or some bullshit.

At least five people, five men, five GAY AND BI MEN, came to Alix with their status, begging for help. She fed them garbage and lies. She looked them in the face and decided she would continue with this monstrousness and you just fucking let it happen and then you made it about fanfiction because you don’t understand that there are things way beyond fandom. She was a psychopath who OPERATED IN FANDOM and 15 years ago she would have pulled this shit on the TWOP boards or the scarleteen message boards or neopets or something.

God, fuck all of you.

I have a tiny bit of money spare this month. If you send a receipt of a donation to an HIV/AIDS-related organization of your choice to thatwhichechoes@protonmail.com, personal information redacted as you so choose, I'll match it, multiple its, for a total of $50 from my end. If that doesn't happen by February 15, I'll just send it all to one of my choice. I can hold a couple bucks spare each month so that, God willing and my rent don't rise, I can consistently send to Rainbow Railroad or my home LGBT center's HIV/AIDS program.

Nothing is going to fix what she did and she's never going to get held to account in the way she should but I'm going to post receipts every so often anyways because I am nasty and angry enough to care about other people. I am angry enough to do penance on her behalf. I have been furious and horrified and sick about this ever since I found out and dealing with her vileness has caused actual tangible harm in my life but again, it's not about me, and I'm going to remember that even if you motherfuckers won't.

I would seriously advise anyone under the age of 21 to get the fuck off of this website and go learn how to communicate with other people in a healthy manner. Go outside! Interact with other people in the real world! Read a book. Read a fucking newspaper! Learn about the world. Or you can stay here and burrow in the echo chamber and become credulous fauxwoke racist homophobic morons who prioritize calling other teenagers pedophiles til they try to kill themselves because Steven Universe or something over doing literally anything that could help the world. Your choice.

The rest of you: comport yourselves like normal fucking human beings for once in your fucking lives and sort out your goddamn priorities. Read a fucking newspaper. Stop giving obvious racist fraudsters like medievalpoc and Israalix the benefit of the doubt and actually think about the information that is being presented to you and then maybe do something more useful with your time than getting into internet fights. For example, I organized an auction in my spare time that, with the help of another lovely person and dozens of wonderful donors, raised $3,917 for various charities over six months, including $200 for GMHC and about $75 for an HIV/AIDS organization in Wisconsin. Go do something similar or get off the fucking internet! It’s 2018! You’re adults! Try tangibly helping other people, at some point, instead of engaging in this terrible narcissistic performative circlejerk where trauma has become a cudgel to beat others!

If any of you do anything like this again I will find you and I will fucking destroy you. That is a promise. 

Go to hell.

[booksfornamjoon]

화양연화TheNotes Analysis (Part II)

화양연화TheNotes Analysis (Part I): Jungkook, 22 May YEAR 22

*Keep in mind this text was originally written in Spanish, so forgive any mistakes, English is not my first language.

*This analysis is mainly philological and a personal opinion.

[Here you can read Part I].

First of all, we find ourselves before a first-person narrator: 'I thought my body was floating', which tells us about a past time of a traumatic memory. Following the theories of narratology, the narrator in the first person (called 'internal narrator' or 'homodiegetic narrator'), is a character within the story ('intradiegetic narrator'), therefore, he only has and provides information based on his own experience of events. However, we must bear in mind that this type of narrator is the one that most differs from the author (the author is not the same as the narrator): Jungkook is a character in the text, he must necessarily comply with all the rules of being a character, even when he is performing tasks of storyteller. I think that, as we will see in the analysis, this narrator-protagonist tells his own story, he is the main character and everything that happens we know through him, that's why there are questions and confusion. This narrator adopts a subjective point of view that makes him identify with the protagonist and prevents him from interpreting in an absolute and impartial way the thoughts and actions of the other characters in the narrative (as we will also see). In short, it is the type of narrator that is used in genres such as the diary or autobiography and, in this case, I think it also has influences from the stream of consciousness technique, that is, trying to reproduce the mechanisms of thought in the text (associations of ideas), trying to blur the textual construction (authors such as Proust, Virginia Woolf or Joyce are experts in this type of narration).

Let's go into the text:

I thought my body was floating, but it was on a solid floor.

From the first moment, reference is made to the denial of the basic senses. Let us return to the idea of the narrator-protagonist: for him to have knowledge of something, he necessarily has to experience it with his own senses, or that some other character tells him about it. He can tell his own thoughts and opinions, but not those of the other characters, unless he knows them for any reason. Therefore, since it can only be based on its senses and these are not working properly, the narrative creates an atmosphere of confusion (which is precisely the effect that it is intended to achieve). That is why he uses verbs like 'think' ('I thought'), which in a certain way do not denote certainty.

The narrator-protagonist believes that he is floating in the air, that is, his abilities (psychic and physical) are depleted. He's like in a dream. His mind thinks that his body is flying, 'but it was on a solid floor'. He is being deceived by his own situation. We can quickly think that Jungkook has suffered an accident and, convalescing, between life and death, he experiences these sensations.

I did not feel anything for a while.

This phrase further corroborates the idea of an accident. The pain suffered causes paralysis.

I just could not lift my eyelids because my whole body was so heavy. I could not even swallow or breathe.

His body does not belong to him, although he is able to organize his ideas. His mind does work, even if it's confused and lost.

I was losing my consciousness and my surroundings slowly blurred.

Here we have the key: Jungkook is losing consciousness, he's losing the connection with reality, with life.

Then, by surprise my body started shaking heavily from something. Unknowing of what caused it, I had pain and I was in thirst.

The wounds, the pain. He does not know what happened to him or how he got to that point (or does not remember, or does not want to tell), but he is in a situation of extreme danger. Notice how many times the body is named.

It seemed like the sand has blurred my sight but something appeared.

What most attracts my attention, apart from the fact that the narrator continues to use verbs of uncertainties ('It seemed like ...'), is that they use the word 'sand' to refer to his diminished ability to see. The sand is not an image that is normally used as a metaphor for blindness (as I pointed out in the first part), but I can not help but think that that word is there for something and that it has to do with some metaphors of 'LY: Her'. Namjoon, the one who normally composes the lyrics, seems to be employing assiduously the 'sand-water' opposition. All the words in a text are a conscious choice, up to the points and commas, and we can not overlook that detail. In addition, we are presented with the first object that breaks his loneliness ('but something appeared').

I thought it was a light but it was not. It was bright, big and faint. It is floated in the air without moving. Looking at it for a while, it gradually became a solid form. It was the moon.

There are many interesting aspects in this fragment. In the first place, we can be sure that it is night, or at least he's in a dark place. Second, this is the perfect explanation of how a metaphor is constructed.

Metaphor: Rhetorical figure by which a reality or concept is expressed through a different reality or concept with which the represented has a certain relationship of similarity.

The moon, whose identity is given to us at the end, is described by images that denote its qualities: 'light', 'it was bright, big and faint', 'it floated in the air without moving', 'solid form'. It goes from the plane of the abstract, of the imaginary, of the symbol..., to the plane of the real. Honestly, I consider it an excellent fragment. Precisely, Jungkook is carrying out the same process as any metaphor: he's moving from the plane of the abstract, of the imaginary, of the unconscious..., to the plane of the real, of the conscious. 

If I use the word 'conscious' or 'unconscious', I must talk about Freud. I will try to summarize it since the theory of Freudian psychoanalysis is highly complex. Let's go in parts: 'conscious' is a term used by Sigmund Freud, as an adjective to qualify a psychic state, or as a noun, to indicate the location of certain processes constituting the functioning of the psychic apparatus. In this sense, the conscious, together with the preconscious and the unconscious, is one of the three instances of the first Freudian topic. The preconscious is, broadly speaking, those psychic processes, events, operations and contents that escape the present consciousness and that being essentially tied to the self, belong to its unconscious parts, without being properly part of the unconscious system. For Freud, the unconscious system is constituted largely (but not only) by repressed contents that have been prevented from accessing consciousness, precisely because of the mechanism of repression. In other words: the unconscious is a part of our cognitive system to which the conscience has no access (we do not perceive that it exists), but which is revealed in a series of formations such as dreams, lapses, jokes, games of words, failed actions and symptoms. The unconscious, according to Freud, has the peculiarity of being both internal to the subject (and to his consciousness) and external to all forms of domination by conscious thought. If these repressed elements (desires, phobias, impulses) manage to leave the unconscious (theoretically that was the role of psychoanalysis) and move on to the conscious, that is, if the symbolic passes to the real plane, then we are able to discover, among other things (I'm simplifying a lot), our internal drives, our true desires, our traumas. In short, the conscious designates the set of experiences from which the subject can give an account through an act of internal perception. In addition, for philosophy, consciousness is the human faculty to decide actions and take responsibility for the consequences according to the conception of good and evil. A conscious person, in this sense, is responsible, who does not act with negligence and who tries to minimize the negative consequences of their actions. If the albums of 'LY' (especially 'LY: Tear') are based on a process of self-knowledge, of the rupture of the individual for the construction of  the 'self', it is not unreasonable that Jungkook is playing with the unconscious and the conscious, since, in a certain way, the Freudian theory pretended to facilitate to patients that cure of reality, that process of personal discovery.

On the other hand, the presence of the moon in literature, especially in poetry, is extremely extensive and repeated. Precisely, in Spanish poetry, the moon is a symbol of first order. Authors such as Federico García Lorca understand the moon in a contradictory way: sometimes it is a symbol of life and death, other times of fertility, but in general, he includes it as an antithesis of the life cycle. Miguel Hernández (who is also my favourite poet) uses the moon (as is common in poetry) as a symbol of perfection, since it is circular (perfect form par excellence), and its white colour becomes synonymous with purity.

The moon came to the forge  with her skirt of white, fragrant flowers.  The young boy watches her, watches.  The boy is watching her.

In the electrified air  the moon moves her arms  and points out, lecherous and pure,  her breasts of hard tin.

Flee, moon, moon, moon.  If the gypsies were to come,  they would make with your heart  white necklaces and rings.

Young boy, leave me to dance.  When they come, the gypsies  will find you upon the anvil  with closed eyes.

Flee, moon, moon, moon.  Already I sit astride horses.  Young boy, leave me, don’t step on  my starched whiteness.

The horse rider approaches  beating the drum of the plain.  Within the forge the young man  has closed eyes.

Through the olive grove they come, the gypsies –  bronze and dreaming, heads lifted and eyes half closed.

Hark, hear the night bird – how it sings in the tree. Across the sky moves the moon, holding the young boy by the hand.

Within the forge the gypsies cry, are crying out. The air watches over her, watches.  The air is watching over her.

(Romance of the moon, moon, moon, written by Federico García Lorca in 1928).

We change the paragraph and the text continues:

The world was turned upside down as if I had turned my head.

Many fans have already made reference to that in the video of 'DNA', V comes out in some scenes upside down, which could explain this strange symbol. At the edge of the unconscious, almost hallucinating, his world is upside down (in a way I can not help relating this to the video of 'Serendipity', where Jimin's world also trembles because of falling in love).

In that world, the moon was also hanging upside down.

As if he were floating, the moon is down and he is up looking at her. I love this poetic image.

I tried to cough to breathe but could not move. And then I got the chills. I was scared.

His senses remain numb, but look how the sentences get shorter, creating an atmosphere of suspense. Suddenly, realizing his helplessness, he is afraid.

I tried to talk but I could not speak.

He can not talk, can not see, can not hear or move. He is subject to something he does not know.

I did not close my eyes but suddenly everything became black.

Abruptly, the narrative takes another turn. Jungkook is fainting beyond repair. We are going to lose him, he will not be able to tell us anything else and suddenly the last sentence of the text appears:

I lost my conscious and someone said: Living can be more painful than dying. But do you want to live?

He loses consciousness (which is what the text was suggesting the whole time) and, outside the world of the living, of the tangible, of the 'real', someone appears. It is curious this figure that appears when he is on the verge of death. He can not tell us who he is, how he is physically..., he/she is categorized indefinitely, which gives the figure an aura of mystery and certain danger. This appearance addresses him with enigmatic words: Living can be more painful than dying. But do you want to live?

Is God? Is his consciousness? His unconscious?

Whatever it is, it is obvious that he/she's providing another opportunity to live, but first asks if JK wants that second chance. Do you want to live? Are you willing to pay the price of what it means to live? Do you value your life? Do you deserve to be reborn?

Living can be more painful than dying. 

This phrase has a direct influence on one of the basic ideas of Christianity (at least in its origins): life as a valley or path of tears. The earth is a place of penance to reach heaven.

Blessed is the man whose strength is in Thee, in whose heart are Thy ways, who passing through the Valley of Baca makes it a well; the rain also filleth the pools. They go from strength to strength; every one of them in Zion appeareth before God (Psalms 84: 5-7).

It also reminds me of the philosophy of Schopenhauer, who only considered salvation through suffering.

Finally, inevitably, that 'someone', by how he/she appears on the scene and by the words he/she addresses, reminds me of Dante's Divine Comedy. Specifically, the encounter between Dante and Virgil at the beginning of the book (Inferno: Canto I). At that point in the storyline, Dante is lost, in the middle of an inhospitable beach (SAND!!!) that is as strange as terrifying. Afterwards, three wild beasts (symbolizing lust, pride and greed) prevent him from going (Does not this have anything to do with ‘Wings' album?!). When he can not advance anymore, he only has the path of the wild jungle, in where he has awakened without knowing how he got there (Similarities to JK's situation?). There, crying with fear, an unknown figure appears. It is Virgil, one of the most important Latin poets (and a role model for humanists like Dante Alighieri), who from that moment will become his guide through hell, the first stage of his purification process to reach his beloved, Beatrice.  Dante, who personifies humanity, represents the temptation of sin, Beatrice, who personifies the Faith and will take Dante to each of the spheres of paradise, to the Empyrean, immobile space, where he will contemplate the mystical Rose formed by God and his chosen. And Virgilio, who symbolises reason.

It is because of me that he goes to the city of tears, it is because of me that he goes to the eternal pain and to the place where the condemned race suffers, I was created by the divine power, the supreme wisdom and the first love, and there was nothing that existed before me, abandon hope if you enter here (Inscription Dante reads in the door of Hell).

The Divine Comedy is a work written around 1321 and narrates the journey of Dante through hell and purgatory (with overcoming all tests) to reach paradise, where his beloved waits. Hell represents the human being in front of his sins and his dire consequences. Purgatory, the slow purification of their faults until liberation. Going down to the underworld to re-emerge, even if it leads to the resurrection from the dead, is the price for self-knowledge. We are, once again, facing a path of personal discovery that, although it involves pain, shapes the individual.