#comparing yourself

[littlebellesmama]

The Voice Inside: Understanding and Building Self-Esteem

There’s a voice we all carry inside, and it speaks louder than we often realize. It comments on our choices, judges our mistakes, and decides whether we feel proud or ashamed. That voice is shaped by self-esteem—the way we view and value ourselves. It’s not about arrogance or confidence that shouts, but about a quiet, steady belief that we are enough, just as we are. When self-esteem is strong,…

[dieletztepanzerhexe]

i don't like my life. i'm not happy with where i am right now, with my lost potential. of course it's better than it used to be and i think i'm very slowly getting on the right track, but yeah, in general i'm not satisfied with my place in life

my uni friend recently said that she sometimes compares herself to me and that her own life looks pale in comparison to me. it shocked me so much lol. for the past 2 years i was doing the same thing, i was jealous of so many things about her. she has qualities that i lack completely, like the ability to "network" and acieve different goals through ppl she knows. she's very determined and goes for things she wants while i get discouraged at thr slightest obstacle and my insticts is always to give up, let go, forget and move on.

i don't know what to think about this.

[pukicho]

Oi oi oi... My original release, Spirited Away Away Away Away Away Away is now REMASTERED. Six years, and lotsa newfound knowledge on mastering later, and here we are. Now you may listen to it as though your ears have been UNMASKED, cleaned of mud and sludge.

And for those asking, BANDCAMP will start getting new things often,

Check out the song on BANDCAMP IN LOSSLESS + Hear the difference between the old version :)

And on Soundcloud too!

[chimerafeathers]

i really love how intensely Mirabelle reacts to act 5 Siffrin botched friendquest.

Isabeau is mostly operating out of concern and, eventually, hurt. he already knows something’s up before Siffrin gets to him. he knows something truly awful must be wrong for Siffrin to be lashing out like they are, and as soon as he can’t handle the situation anymore, he leaves and asks (with strained cheer) for time apart to cool off.

most of Bonnie’s anger comes from being upset and afraid that Siffrin would willingly put themself in danger for no reason, when that’s exactly why they’ve been so unsettled since the eye incident. they hate that Siffrin values their own life so little, they hate that they’re the cause of any pain or loss for him, and here he is, putting himself in that situation AGAIN. on purpose. it’s loud and explosive, but it’s familiar, too, being “hated” by Bonnie for this reason.

Odile pushes, and keeps pushing, until her concern overwhelms Siffrin and they strike where they know she’s most vulnerable. she gets physical, just for a moment, grabbing his collar before controlling herself and letting go. her fury shuts down into cold detachment, and she walks away.

but Mirabelle—dear, sweet, gentle, loving Mirabelle, “the most wonderful being on earth,” with her secret “ruthless side” that largely involves lightly badmouthing people behind their backs and then apologizing—slaps them. immediately.

and then COMPLETELY RENOUNCES THEIR FRIENDSHIP.

not just “we’re not friends anymore,” but “we were never friends in the first place.”

that’s!!! pretty extreme!!!!

of course, she ALSO starts by asking what’s wrong. something must have happened for him to act like this. but as soon as Siffrin brushes her off, she jumps past that line of questioning and dives headfirst into re-evaluating everything she thought she knew about them as a a person.

if he could say something like that to her and not see anything wrong with it, then she was wrong to treat him as a friend, wrong to read camaraderie into his teasing, wrong to think they must care about them all under their aloof demeanor.

that’s how Mirabelle phrases it—“I was wrong about you”—but i think that there’s a hidden layer of I was right about you, too.

she talks about the way they tease her like she had to convince herself that he was doing it in a friendly way. she says they talk like they “know better than her” like that’s a thought she’s had for a LONG time.

“Always soooo mysterious, Siffrin, always talking as if you're better than me! As if you know me!!! But you don't, Siffrin!!! You're just as lost and useless as I am!!! So stop!!! Talking!!! As if you know me!!!!!!”

none of this comes across as a new, sudden way to view Siffrin for her. it doesn’t shock or confuse her. it makes her angry, defensive, almost like she was waiting for something like this to happen at some point. the feeling of resentment, frustration, jealousy, being patronized and condescended to—this is something she’s been actively pushing down and rejecting this entire time, but they’ve given her ample reason for it all to boil to the surface. violently.

Mirabelle’s kindness is not inherent or easy. it’s a choice she’s making. she treats Siffrin warmly because she gives him the benefit of the doubt—refusing to act based on anxiety-fueled, cynical speculation, and reassuring herself that his actions are driven by care and friendship even if she can’t quite see it.

“I was wrong about you” doesn’t mean she always and without question believed them to be a fundamentally kind, caring person from the beginning—it’s that her first, colder instincts were right, and she was wrong to convince herself otherwise.

never mind that she asked what was wrong at first. she barely gives them time to speak in their own defense, to explain what they really meant by what they said. all of her suppressed doubts and frustrations are getting aired out now, now that all the trust she’d so deliberately placed in him has been betrayed. her pain feels bigger than this singular moment, so when she hurts him back, she makes sure it extends back through the entirety of their relationship for him, too.

“You're awful. You're not my friend, not my ally, not anything. You never were.”

like the others, she goes back to the clocktower and tells Siffrin not to come back until later. but there’s a finality to the way she ends this confrontation that isn’t quite there with the others. Isabeau and Odile reach their breaking point and remove themselves from the situation, asking for space to cool off but still somewhat leaving the door open for Siffrin to tell them what’s really going on at some point. Mirabelle is the only one who tries to fully cut ties—after everything else she says, her “I don’t want to see you until tonight” reads to me somewhat as “I don’t want to see you anymore unless I have to.”

I can’t wait to never see you again.

even back at the clocktower, Mirabelle doesn’t really defend Siffrin’s place in the party when Odile suggests leaving them behind out of concern for their trustworthiness on the most important day of the journey. Isabeau and Bonnie protest out of sentimentality and faith in Siffrin’s abilities and connection to them, and Mirabelle agrees, but…

“I agree, but... B-But would he even agree to come with us, still? Maybe they won't even come back tonight...”

she doesn’t say much outside of that. maybe the stutter and hesitation here are signs of regret about how things happened, but she lacks Isabeau and Bonnie’s confidence that Siffrin even wants to come back to them in the first place. she doesn’t trust that their bond was real anymore. maybe it never was in the first place, or maybe she broke whatever was there herself.

and she’s still mad when they finally catch up to Siffrin at the King! and she makes sure Siffrin knows that—after saving them, assuring him that he no longer needs to fight, that they’re all there for him. she still cares, of course she still cares—she’s still hurt, too, but they can figure that part out once there’s less world-ending stuff going on.

she’s the first to say that they all reserve the right to still be angry at Siffrin later—and that they’ve already forgiven him.

she’s also the first to say we want to stay with you, too. it’s not just you.

she was wrong! she thought they didn’t care but they care so much, it’s overwhelming, it’s world-ending.

i think she’s gonna be wallowing in guilt post-canon the moment she remembers what she said and did TO SIFFRIN and not just what Siffrin said to her. especially now that she knows Siffrin’s exact hangups, and especially especially if she figures out what Siffrin was trying to say.

they put themself through hell out of loneliness and fear that none of the others cared about him the way he cared about them, he was going insane from repetition and exhaustion and hunger and trying to keep them all safe and together, and all they did in the midst of all that was say something kind of mean to her one time (that turned out to not even be MEANT to be mean it was supposed to be HELPFUL they just SAID IT ALL WRONG) and she SLAPPED THEM? and told him that they WEREN’T FRIENDS AT ALL??? how could she!!! she should have known better!! what they said hurt a lot but still!!!

so when they eventually manage to try to talk about it, they end up almost in, like, a guilt competition.

Mirabelle apologizing for how she reacted, that she shouldn’t have yelled or hit him, that she doesn’t want to be the kind of person who acts that way out of anger and she’s sorry that she made Siffrin expect that reaction from her, she should have known better and believed in him more and they only messed up like that because they were losing their mind in a time loop but what’s HER excuse—

and Siffrin going nononono stop I deserved it—(HUH DON’T SAY THAT NO YOU DIDN’T)—and that he should never have said such awful things to her, ever, and she was under so much pressure already with the weight of the country and everyone’s lives and futures and her religion and their whole party counting on her to do this impossible task because she’s the only one who can, all this unbearable expectation and hope crushing her, and they KNEW that but they thought they could skip to the ending as though her feelings didn’t matter at all, like helping her wasn’t as important as saving a little time—

until they’re just. in tears together, apologizing for all the horrible things they did in between complimenting each other’s strength and kindness and resilience and how much they admire each other and saying that no, everything you did was completely understandable, actually, the only one who sucks here is me. which neither of them will accept coming from the other!!

they’re so similar, in ways they couldn’t really understand, before.

warm, affectionate, perfect Mirabelle, the resolute hero, a beacon of compassion and hope for all those around her, who wears her heart on her sleeve, her fear making her courage shine all the brighter—nothing like the insignificant, forgettable Siffrin, too terrified to be known, too fragile to touch, too selfish and disgusting to bear letting go.

cool, mysterious, unflappable Siffrin, the worldly traveler, as charming and silly as they are confident and skilled, who brushed off losing an eye like it was nothing, accepting the risks of this journey with barely more than a shrug—nothing like the anxious, stagnant, undeserving Mirabelle, a fraud and a nobody crumbling under the weight of a mission too important to be entrusted to someone like her, doubting herself, doubting her friends, doubting her mentor, doubting her faith, too weak and brittle to bend and change the way the world needs her to without breaking.

not worth bothering others with their problems. they should be able to handle this alone. stay positive, stay calm. breathe in, and out.

they’ll struggle with it, still—the hiding, the minimizing—but now, they understand each other a little better. they can hold each other accountable for what they leave unsaid.

it’ll get easier, eventually. they have plenty of time.

[lgbtlunaverse]

There's a version of the "don't go grocery shopping while hungry" rule specifically for writers where you should never under any circumstances be allowed to touch your draft within 3 hours of reading a really good story. Because sometimes when you read something great your head goes "fuck this is so much better than my stuff I should make that more like THIS instead!" Look at me. That's the devil talking and you should close the document NOW.

[somewhereincairparavel]

To the people saying "Jason wouldn't have jumped into tartarus for Piper, like Percy did for Annabeth" as a way to demean him. Jason, plunged into the sky from the grand canyon to catch Piper in the first few pages of the lost hero without even knowing who she was, and without the knowledge that he could fly. so he basically jumped to his death attempting to catch her. In the first few pages of his journey, he didn't mind dying to save Piper, and ironically, that's also what he did in the last few pages of his journey. Y'all just be making the most out of pocket claims abt jason fr

[teaboot]

hopping onto the train of questions about parental abuse to ask:

how did you determine your dad was abusive? because for me it's like. i honestly cannot remember much about my younger years except that it felt much worse? and it's not like he's physically abusive but every time he speaks to me I end up feeling like week-old roadkill and i'm not sure that qualifies.

i guess follow up question is how can you tell if your parent(s) are abusive or if maybe you're just overreacting/bad if that makes sense..?

I think I had an easier time if it because I had a life outside him first? Like. He and my mom didn’t get together till I was 4 or 5, so everything I knew about being polite and respectful I learned from HER first, and so I already had a pretty strong sense of “justice” and “fair”. In the earlier years, if he said I was being bad, I believed him. It was “punishments” that made no sense. Being grounded? Yeah okay I’d do my best to do nothing for a couple weeks. Ripping all my books off the shelf, tossing them to the floor, and telling ME to clean them up? Because they were “teaching me a bad attitude”? How did THAT make sense? I thought we all cleaned up our own messes and treated other’s belongings gently??

Noticing hypocrisy and double-standards led to being gaslit, which led to paranoia and obsessively recording and writing down conversations immediately to reassure myself I wasn’t insane. Then a lot of research into what psychological abuse WAS and how to respond to manipulative behaviour.

After that, I made plans to move out and spoke to some adults at my highschool to let them know, “hey, this is what he’s doing to ME, and in a few years X Y and Z are going to be living with him without me to handle him and they’ll be attending here, so can you keep an eye on them?”.

Then just. Keeping notes.

Honestly, it’s mostly just keeping track of patterns, double-standards, and what happens before and after bad behaviour.

I noticed that HE, for example, had a habit of calling me a useless retard whenever he was angry, but as soon as he wanted something I was a smart and beautiful young ‘lady’. Also, weirdly, not matter WHO started the fight, I was always the one who ended up feeling bad and apologizing- which seemed. Odd. Like… surely it’s not ALL me? Why is it ALWAYS me who feels guilty? Oh. Oh, that’s on purpose. Interesting

But fit what it’s worth. If talking to him makes you feel bad? Even if it isn’t abusive, it shouldn’t be unpleasant. Listen to your gut. You don’t actually have to deal with him forever. Consider trying to figure out what exactly it is about your interactions that feels unpleasant and work from there

[toskarin]

I'd say tumblr has a sort of noble savage view of reddit that stems from a perception of every other site as the norm-representing outgroup and reddit as the most benign and culturally compatible of these unenlightened outsiders, which would be a bit harsh if not for that time where tumblr very much did spend like a month openly roleplaying that reddit users were refugees participating in cultural exchange by making blogs

[mourn-and-watch]

you know what. i actually love that trying to talk to solas was the last thing varric did and it ended in complete failure. especially if you put it in the context of his feelings about anders. varric was so bitter every time he mentioned him because he could not stop him. he didn't even realize that anders was up to something and when it was too late he started to think of him as of someone who destroyed that fragile peace in kirkwall that actually never existed.

it adds layers to the way he felt about solas. he believed that time he could stop a friend who simply lost his way. because varric tethras can talk anyone out of anything, can't he? anders was just too dodgy and self-centred and cut everyone off just like solas did but this time varric is completely prepared. surely. absolutely.

he could have never talked anders out of it even if he had known what was coming. he could have never talked solas out of it either. anders was a desperate person standing against (as varric himself put it) forces he couldn't possibly defeat. solas was a god standing against a couple of mortals and his own conscience buried under his guilt and regrets. being a good friend would not stop meredith's oppression. being a good friend would not stop someone who fears so much that all of the atrocities he committed were for nothing and would mean nothing at the end. varric died because he didn't realize it. he died and left his second in command with an immense guilt because they believed he knew solas enough to pull that off and there's something tragic about it

[hitwiththefandomz]

Story time: made this piece with an old friend in mind. They had one of those almost photo-realistic art styles and we would respectfully hype up each other’s art

People thought it was weird that they would find interest in my cartoonish style if they already themselves had such an advanced one

But peeps got to remember despite your differences, we’re all still artists and just vibing to our own interests and skills･:*+.

Took one of our conversations as inspo and inserted it - song used is “Blue Boy” by Mac DeMarco

[qiu-yan]

imagine the following scenario: one day, the MXTX protagonists + love interests find out, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they are fictional characters; that they were created to star in a romance-genre web serialization centered around their relationship.

in this kind of situation, i feel like all of the MXTX protagonists would experience some level of existential crisis.....except for luo binghe.

fo luo binghe, the reveal would be twofold. first, there would be the PIDW reveal: that luo binghe was originally to be the protagonist of the webnovel PIDW, and that his fate changed when one of the novel's anti-fans, peerless cucumber, transmigrated into the body of shen qingqiu and derailed the entire plot.

second, there would be the SVSSS reveal: that, in reality, all of the above was actually the plot of another novel - the scum villain's self-saving system - and that said novel is not concerned with any of luo binghe's feats or conquests or the like, but rather is about the romance between shen qingqiu (shen yuan) and luo binghe. and that, rather than being the protagonist, luo binghe is instead the male lead to shen qingqiu's protagonist.

except literally both of these reveals are massive Ws for luo binghe?? first, for the PIDW reveal, luo binghe finds out why shen qingqiu pushed him into the abyss - not because shen qingqiu hated him, but rather because the system literally forced shen qingqiu to do so upon threat of death. furthermore, luo binghe learns shen qingqiu's real identity: someone who read about luo binghe from an alternate universe and came to love him, someone who loved luo binghe across dimensions so much that, upon seeing that luo binghe's story was to end with zero true emotional fulfillment, rejected this ending so vociferously that he ended up changing luo binghe's entire fate.

and then, the SVSSS reveal: this entire universe only exists because MXTX wanted to tell the story of the romance between shen qingqiu and luo binghe. from the beginning, shen qingqiu and luo binghe were fated to end up together. and, if shen qingqiu is the protagonist, that means luo binghe was literally created to love him.

absolute ego boost. massive W. every other MXTX character would be experiencing the existential crisis to end all existential crises, but not our luo binghe. nothing but victories for him.

[loveyourlovelysoul]

THIS!

“Too many people are walking around living someone else’s definition of success and wondering why they haven’t made it.”

— Kandia Johnson

[rillils]

Tony : so was I

Steve: bitch I was bouncing on it even before you were born

I just laughed out loud so hard I startled my mom 😂😂 Nonnie, you beautiful, gorgeous gem you 💖💖💖

Ah man, Tony had no idea what he was talking about, had he? He thought he had Steve all figured out, but in truth he had barely begun to scratch the surface. He didn't know what Steve was really capable of, the lengths he was willing to go to, the lines he was ready to cross, just to keep Bucky safe.

Tony dared to touch the one thing that, to Steve, was sacred above all else, and he almost got his skull bashed in because of it.

In a weird sort of way, I'm kinda grateful to him for it? Because his stunt gave us the chance to see once again how fiercely protective Steve and Bucky are of each other, how they're both willing to die before they'll let anyone come between them - and also how absolutely glorious they look when they're fighting together in perfect sync like that, understanding each other with one glance, two bodies moving as one, one of them throwing the shield and the other one already thrusting his arm out to catch it before the thing was even flying, like seriously how fucking hot was that entire sequence?? 🔥💖💖

The funniest bit? The way that Tony just had to be petty until the end, demanding the shield "back" because his father had made it. Like Steve was going to have to pick between the shield and the man in his arms. Like Steve even had to think about it. Like the choice wasn't already made before the question was ever placed in his lap.

I don't think Tony really understood that there was nothing, and no one, that Steve would ever choose over Bucky, until he saw Steve drop that shield on the ground like a hot potato and walk away without looking back.

But ohhh, how I loved that. There's something so deeply satisfying, so vindicating, and so painfully sweet about seeing Steve, bloodied and bruised and hurting, gently gathering the man he loves up in his arms, holding him close to his side, and taking him the hell out of that cold dead place with this one final gesture - unceremoniously dropping the shield and leaving it behind with no regrets - that is both so simple and so powerful, and that says, loud as metal clanging against the floor, I love him. He's worth giving up this and more.

[reality-detective]

The difference between a Constitutional Republic and a democracy.

Remember this every time you hear the democrats crying about losing our "democracy" 🤔

[mobius-m-mobius]

- Loki S01x01 - Glorious Purpose - Loki S02x06 - (contrapuntal poem credit to @too-bees-poetry)

[spiritualseeker777]