#completely off-topic tangent in the tags

[honorary-knight-of-favonius]

Kinktober Cyno -Day Six-

Tags for the day: Shower sex and School Relationship (Tutor)

Summary: Having to harshly accept something the tan boy would never even think to question somehow lead to him and his girlfriend together in a steamy shower.

Cyno was not only a man adept in martial arts but in Ancient history, as a History major many wanted to have him as a study buddy or tutor but no one had ever succeeded in getting the Jackal interested in them. The boy would only talk to his girlfriend who -was by no means a history major-. However as the boy would constantly bring up mythology she would listen and make sure to pay attention to the boy’s every word. 

But in this situation with her friends asking why she was so keen on letting the boy talk about such boring topics seemed to not only upset the boy but the woman he loved. 

“Seriously Y/n, I really think you should’ve gone for Tighnari rather than this guy. I mean everyone knows you don’t like history.” The girl spoke, within seconds the iced coffee her loving boyfriend had bought for her was all over the girl’s nice white clothes.

“I don’t give two shits about you shit talking to me but the moment you try to degrade Cyno because he likes History and discussing mythological stories I will not sit still! You are so fucking lucky that shit wasn’t red wine I’m telling you now if I had it I would’ve poured that shit all over you.” I spat, I got up from the booth and yanked the aspiring historian’s hand dragging him away from the cafe we were in but the moment I was closing the distance between us and my car he stopped our walking and I looked back to him confused. 

“Cyno? Is everything alright?” I ask

“W-was she telling the truth. . . Do you really not like my myth rants?” I sighed and faced him completely. 

“Cyno. . .I-I’ve never been someone who likes history. I understand the importance of it but I’ve never exactly liked it. Even though I don’t like history, you talk about it so passionately and you actually make it somewhat interesting, besides I know you hate all my law rants-” He cut me off. 

“W-who said I hate listening to you talk about law? I-I like it. . .a lot, I like watching all those criminal and law shows with you. I-I can connect history with some laws, I-I thought you liked my rants.” The boy looked down and I stomped one of my feet and cupped his face. 

“This is exactly the reason I didn’t tell you I wasn’t a huge fan of history! Just because I don’t enjoy it doesn’t mean I want you to hide such a vital part of you! I don’t want you to change for me because I dislike history, besides even if I’m not a huge fan your tangents are rather enjoyable.” I mumbled before I walked back to my car hoping he’d follow because he stated he needed time alone so I gave it to him. 

I had gotten home and for hours on end I worried about him but had to stop as it was getting late and stepped into the shower. While the warm water ran down my body I was distubed by arms around me. I jumped and looked back to see Cyno. He was resting his head on my shoulder and he slowly swayed us.

“I’m sorry for always talking about-” I swiftly turned around and covered his mouth. 

“I love your rants, I love how you perk up when talking about it or how your eyes shine while retelling me the story of Anubis. Cyno I may not like history but I am over the moon for you, I don’t care how many times you want to rewatch the Night in the museum movies, or how many times I have to listen to traditional music. I don’t mind it because I love you!” I said, Cyno smiled and snuggled into my neck kissing it, which turned to licks, and bites. 

I put my back to the wall and made the tan male look at me, “You have my permission, my Jackal.” He smiled and latched his lips while his fingers worked some magic. Cyno hummed, grinding against me until he was tired of using his fingers. He slowly slid deep into my body making me dig my nails into his shoulders. 

“M-mommy~” cyno whispered in a shaky voice. I was going to respond but was picked up by my thighs and forced into the wall as Cyno thrusted into me. I don’t think either of us realized how cold the water got as we focused on one another. I was so aware of where Cyno’s hands were and what he was doing. God it felt heavenly to feel him inside as I finally let the knot unravel. Of course Cyno didn’t stop and thank god he didn’t I wasn’t ready to feel empty again. I was pulling Cyno in closer by his neck, having our lips caress each other as the twitching of his cock insured and Cyno swiftly pulled out, staining both of our stomachs with his cum. I hugged Cyno yawning in his arms while I snuggled into his neck. 

“Tired mommy?” Cyno asked, I nodded and the boy laughed, helping me down and washing my body before he cleaned himself off and got us dry and carried me to the bed. 

“I-I repay the favor in the morning.” I mumbled snuggling into the man’s warm body. 

“Until then mommy.” 

Taglist:

@stygianoir @yunadxd

[cobiehaven]

We See Stars — Lee Felix

SYNOPSIS; felix loves astronomy, he lives for it. he could probably point out every star alignment that shows. but when he comes across a lonely girl shivering in the spring of winter, he can’t help but want to share that same love.

PARING; felix x reader

GENRE; fluff

WORD COUNT; 1.4k

TAGS/WARNINGS; royalty au, prince!felix, noble!reader, reader is insecure, one set scene.

AUTHORS NOTE; inspired by one taehyun fanfic i read by an amazing author but i couldn’t find the link 🥹.

felix took a deep sigh of relief the moment he stepped outside to admire the beautiful night sky, a cloud of heat escaping past his lips.

it was painted with stokes of dark navy and sparkled white dots shimmering across, the terrance was chilled with a soft frost. it was euphoric. the only thing that was different was the small girl chattering her teeth near the bench on the other side of the balcony.

he raised a brow. what human would be leveled enough to want to step out in freezing weather without a coat on?

a light “achoo!” perked his attention even more, his actions thinking before his brain.

“you must be insane or stupid to want to be out in weather like this,” he said informally. your attention being taken by his admiring complex as you snapped your head around to see who the owner of this unfamiliar voice was. “who are you?” you asked, informally back.

he didn’t answer with his name but instead shrugged off his thick fur coat, draping it over your quivering shoulders.

you blushed but it was masked with your already pink face, it must have been from your forming cold. instead of asking him any more, you awaited for him to.

he took a seat next to you, your eyes glued on him while his own trailed from the glowing city below to the twinkling stars above. “what are you doing out here?” he asked you.

you hesitated in answering. he was a complete stranger, why would you tell a stranger? but then again, he was a stranger. it’s not like you’d ever see him again. “its a stupid reason,” you sighed, hugging the coat he gave you. “maybe i like stupid,” he laughed.

you were just going to pretend what he said earlier didn’t matter.

“well now you can’t laugh once i tell you.”

“i don’t promise that.”

you gave him a hard stare but he just stared back, waiting.

you sighed and looked away, deciding that it didn’t matter either way. “no one told me i looked pretty tonight.” it was silent for a few moments, you wondered if he thought it was as stupid as you thought it was. to be sad over something so attention seeking was just embarrassing. you wouldn’t be surprised if he was repulsed by you. but then again, you both don’t even know each other and never will, so its not like it mattered too much.

he glanced at you, his eyes on you instinctively making you look back at him. “what..?” you asked, ready to go on a 5 minute tangent about how you came to be so upset over such a topic. quietly, he spoke.

“you look beautiful, tonight.”

the silence was long. longer than before, you weren’t sure how to take those words. to be happy that someone told you what you were hoping to hear or to not take it seriously since you had already told him what exactly you wanted to hear. deciding that the second option overruled the opposing, you just scoffed. “i know you’re just saying that because i told you,” you giggled.

“im serious.” was he? “i’ll be honest.. i couldn’t stand to see you sitting out here all alone, shivering. i originally came out here to stargaze but then i saw you. i couldn’t help but want to know about you.”

you didn’t know what to say. what do you say to something like this?

“what do you want to know?” you asked.

he glanced at you, a soft smile spreading across his pretty freckled face.

“who you are.”

“but you haven’t told me who you are.”

“that does seem to be an issue..”

he hummed, looking away with a sigh, his eyes glued on the city lights below. the view was beautiful. the twinkling lights from both above and below reminded you of the man next to you and his cute freckles. you could draw lines trying to connect them all night. it wasn’t until he looked back at you that you snapped out of your alluring trance. “i’m felix,” he spoke, your eyes widening in utter shock. “what?!” you stood up. “like- the 3rd kings son, lee felix???” you questioned him, your voice cracking from how dry your throat was. he nodded, you could tell his cheeks were flushed the same shade as pink as yours. you lowered your voice, squatting back down into your seat but your eyes still open wide. “i can’t believe i’m talking to the prince right now,” you were in disbelief.

now you really felt embarrassed for telling him what nearly made you cry tonight.

“a lot of people say that. the only thing is that no one recognizes me as the kings son until i tell them.” you fell quiet, not sure of what to say. “it’s my older brother who gets the most attention since he’s awarded the throne next,” felix didn’t sigh, or look uncomfortable at all. but you didn’t believe he wasn’t at least hurt. “that has to bother you, no?” you asked him. “a little but i’ve been numb to this feeling for a while,” he looked down at his hands, his fingertips red and frozen.

it was silent. the cool breeze brushing up on your clothed shoulders and across your nose, it seemed like it was going to start snowing soon if it got any colder.

sitting back down next to felix, you weren’t sure of what to say as you too, had fallen for the same inconvenience that everyone else does, when meeting felix. not even recognizing him for who he actually is. “you don’t have to feel bad, i actually kind of like it this way.” you turned to look at him. “being a prince isn’t always the luxury people imagine. i’m lucky enough to be that prince that no one knows of and can have my own freedom.”

you never thought about it that way but he was right, you couldn’t imagine being of such high class and not getting attention all of the time. so it was a blessing to have a royal life without the looming paranoia of eyes and voices surrounding you.

“i suppose i could see how you would like that,” you agreed with him. “but still, the title is nice to have.” he nodded in agreement.

it was an awkward silence for a while, the two of you enjoying the city sounds and faint voices below the terrance. you weren’t sure if fate existed nor were you sure of miracles but you swore that you had never felt more comfortable in this open space with a complete stranger than you ever had with anyone else. the soothing feeling having you sinking down against the bench and looking up at the night sky.

“do you like astronomy?”

the question caught you off guard. why would he be asking you a question like that? right now?

“uhm, i guess?” you questioned.

“you don’t have to say yes if you don’t,” he laughed.

“well now i’m curious!” you argued.

felix gestured up to the sky, his pointed finger guiding you. “you see that star right there?” you hummed in response. “see how it has a slight reddish tint? it’s actually not a star,” he pointed out. your surprised eyes only feeding his enjoyment.

“it’s actually a planet.”

“wow.. how do you know that?” you watched as felix cowered away with a soft blush to his cheeks. his hand reaching for the back of his neck. “i might be a bit of a space nerd..”

you would have never guessed the kings 3rd son would be into astronomy.

but then again, it wasn’t your place to assume such things of people.

“why are you bringing this up with me?” at the end of the day, you were still just strangers to each other. but for some reason.. something told you that he didn’t have anyone else to tell. “you just seemed like the right person to tell,” he smiled at you. his freckles lighting up in the moonlight in a way that had you connecting them like constellations.

there was nothing more surreal than watching the most beautiful man in front of you admire you the same way you admired him. you didn’t even realize you were staring at his lips until he caught attention to your own. giving in to his instincts, he slowly leaned in to capture your lips, you happily complying with him.

suddenly, you no longer had any worries.

proofread by @hwasluvr

© cobiehaven 2023

[ino-takumas-baggy-sweater]

a lot of aprehension about the welcome home comes from previous experiences back in the height of game theory, which coincided with the first wave of mascot horror media that actively tried to cater to the theories and adapt to whatever was theorized about (including that memorable time when not even matpat would touch hello neighbor despite it actively simping over him on twitter and there being a brief coincidence of fanbases), so far welcome home seems to, whilst being optimized for a lot of um let's call it blorbofication of the characters (not making a judgement of that being objectively good or bad but it is a choice and getting into reasons why it may have been made is going off a tangent) it doesn't seem to be so far of the type to be Actively Catering To Change According To The Whims Of One Influential Dude.

The height of popularity of matpat also brought with it a small but vocal minority that took some of the theories as gospel, but mostly existed for theories from a couple of fandoms already prone to having these attitudes, and from what i've seen those people have largely mellowed out.

basically, some waryness is not unfounded, but it's not like it's a death sentence oh no matpat found it now welcome home will be flooded by matpatTheory!Wally x OC prompts that other content won't exist

THIS. I agree 100% with this, and I am fully aware some fans are on the extreme side, but being like that and taking his theories as gospel is completely the opposite of what he even started his channel for. The reason he does this is to provoke thinking and conversation about interesting topics that have mysteries behind them, which is why I fell in love with his channels and his style of doing things because until he came around, as far as I know, literally nobody was doing that kind of stuff.

Being able to distinguish my own thinking and analysis from Matpat's theories is half the reason I watch, because it stimulates my brain and it's something i enjoy deeply.

Gatekeeping Welcome Home and putting threats or verbal abuse in his comment sections are NOT solutions to this problem, the amount of times I've seen people using tags like "get matpat away from our stuff" is horseshit and makes you as bad, if not worse, than the fans you despise, and the comment section of his reaction video is even worse. I understand people talking about Clown's boundaries, and I totally support that, but when 50% of Welcome Home enthusiasts are talking about Clown's boundaries and the other 50% are threatening or complaining, it doesn't put a good look on the Welcome Home fandom as a whole. We need to inform not threaten, also again, gatekeeping is not the answer, and if Clown is scared off by anything happening, it is going to be people arguing the way we are because I'm sure Clown never intended for there to be any discourse or arguing in the fandom or gatekeeping or any shit like that.

[pocket-lin]

hii <3

4, 11, 16 and 19 for the fandom asks??

(almost just wrote a plea for you to answer all of them but managed to restrain myself😅)

hi hi hi!! thank you for asking me these, this is so much fun!! reading back on these answers after I've written them is shocking because I really can just go on and on about stuff, huh? I really don't talk that much irl so I didn't know I had all this in me hahaha I'm so sorry!! I'm actually so embarrassed 😅 I'm gonna put the answer to 11 in a separate post so I can actually attach the picture I'm proud of!

4. say something nice about a ship you don't ship (it can be another ship in your fandom, a mutual's OTP, etc)

the one ship that's jumping out to me is dramione. I am a huge hater of this ship (sorry sorry sorry if you're reading this and it's your thing I love you and support you!!!) but you guys make some really cool shit and I'm happy you have a community you can share it with!! I've poked around in the ao3 and tumblr tags and its absolutely not for me, but there's some really beautiful and horny stuff out there for this ship and I so genuinely love that for all of you!

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

if I'm being totally honest with you, I haven't interfaced with the harry potter canon in a very long time. i already own all the movies and books and stuff, so I wouldn't even be giving jk money by rewatching/reading them, but it just kind of makes my stomach hurt when I think about supporting her in some way. I've had to work through a lot of complicated feelings in regards to jk and harry potter in general, as I'm sure many people have had to do! her words and actions and how I feel about it are not complicated at all, but what to do in the aftermath of it was something I had to figure out. I mean, I have a hp tattoo on my ankle!! my pinned post is about this specifically, but where I've ultimately landed on it all is this: I don't want to let her steal any more joy from me than she already has. there are so many queer and trans people in this fandom creating such incredible stuff, and I just don't want to lose that! I got off on a whole tangent here and definitely have a lot more I could say on the topic, BUT all this to say, I can't really think of tiny hp details anymore!! and in this specific fandom, I'm totally okay with that!

19. your current fandom(s)

the fandom that I interact with the most is definitely harry potter, but I have a bunch of other stuff I'm super into!!

the whole reason I got back into any fandom–and the entire reason I logged back into Tumblr for the first time since 2018–was because of our flag means death!! I've loved rhys darby since flight of the conchords and was so pumped that he was a lead in an hbo show! I was totally shocked when ofmd turned out to not be queerbait!! something about that first season just flipped a switch in me and I looked for fan fiction for the first time in like, 10 years!! I actually didn't even know about ao3 and tried to go to ff.net and it was a whole thing. getting back into fandom was very intimidating, I'm not gonna lie. (wow I really could just talk forever huh?)

my other fandoms are: the sandman, the witcher, good omens (I was so late to that show but jumped on right before the second season completely on accident), check please!, disco elysium, red dead redemption (especial rdr2), the x files, the walking dead, the rivers of london series, and d&d: honor among thieves.

and then there's some stuff that I don't even know how I got into!! like, the spideypool ship. gang, I've barely seen any marvel movies, I haven't read very many marvel comic books. and I honestly don't plan it because I just don't like marvel (once again, could go on about this forever, I was a manager at my local comic shop and have many opinions). but someone I follow posted about a fic (and I am not immune to beautiful fan art) and then I fell down the rabbit hole!! def have recs if anyone is interested!

another one is the ted lasso fandom. I genuinely don't remember why we never finished watching the second season but then the reviews for the third season was kinda mixed so I never went back to it. and then I saw a writer I'm head over heels for had a ted lasso fic (other lives by @andthepeople) and WHOOPS I fell down another rabbit hole!! i also have ted lasso recs!

essentially, if ya boy's read/watched/listened to something, you know he's gonna go look at what the freaks (affectionate) are posting on ao3.

[kamidukki]

uGHHHH tumblr is quite glitchy today and i'll resend this ask

anyWAY i remember i saw aknk official posted something a few days ago(?) and announced that episode 3 is almost completed JAJZJANS i'm so ready for the upcoming angst + drama and possible butler being demonized again but ofc i'll be hurt again AAAAAA i remember the pain and worry when haures got captured then it WAS A CLIFFHANGER leaving me quite emotional for a few days waiting for the last update for episode 2 🤣 also im really curious amd want to know more about the butlers' past especially berrien and fennesz 💖

to be honest, berrien is so mysterious and kind of suspicious you dont even know if his actions are really genuine or... not hMMMMMMM 👁👁

OH AND- i saw a jp theory a long time ago, it was a comparison between haures holding his hand out to master and berrien holding out his left hand and aND apparently, it has a meaning!

when someone is holding out their right hand to you, it means the person liked you or comfortable with you

however if someone is holding out their left hand to you..... it means they dislike you or distaste.

guess who's holding out their left hand? BERRRIIEIEIEIEENNNNNAJJSWJAJJA the way my heart broke when i saw that theory lol 🤣

i know its just a coincidence i know BUT imagine the gut wrenching angst if berrien dislikes his master all this time JAJZJAJAJAJA i'll cry for real if it becomes true 🤣 berrien is one of my fave 🥺

-zella

Hi, zella!

There's a whole lot to unpack in this ask, so I'm putting the 'aknk' and 'akuneko' tag in this in case someone else also want to give their two cents.

❗⚠ [Spoiler alert, read with caution] ⚠❗

Putting aside Berrien, it'll be such a plot twist if Fennesz get demonized next because everyone (mostly) is predicting butler from either the 3rd floor or the basement to be the center in the next episode's stage 👀 If I remember correctly, Fennesz is currently the one who notices Berrien's different 'aura' when he asked about Haures' demonisation at the end of episode 2...? It would be great if he could play an important role in the future, episode 3 or not, because of that 🤔

I take it this is the announcement you mentioned, right?

I'm so excited about the next episode too. It's going to be distributed throughout the entirety of the year 2023, it seems? I certainly can't wait to be emotionally devastated once again. Episode 2 was really, really great, wasn't it? 😊

Since we're still in the topic of official announcement... I'd like to go off tangent a bit and talk about the third bullet point. It said, if my understanding is correct, the implementation of full voice acting in episode 2 and and episode 2.5 will be the last ones that come free. From there onwards, they will come into two parts, free and paid ones. Seems like we'll need to pay an additional fee if we want to unlock the voice...? I'm not entirely sure about this one actually. Anyone with a better grasp of Japanese feel free to correct.

I mean, I'm happy if Akuneko's doing well financially and the people who contribute to it, illustrators and voice actors alike, are getting paid well. On the other hand, as a money-wise poor af person, I'm anxious I won't be able to buy it... 😭 I doubt it will come cheaply after all

Moving on to Berrien, this is the tweet that speculated the right/left hand gesture, isn't it? I'm putting a link a there just in case someone either hasn't seen it/wants some context.

I think we all will cry if Berrien hates us 😂 but it's such a delicious theory, an unprecedented move from a joseimuke game should it ever come true. I mean, the most loving, kind-looking male cast that genuinely hates and/or betrays the players at a certain point??? If Akuneko does that, hats off for the bravery. I don't know if they will be able to pull such move though, given the risk of losing players is too big.

And, oh, I'll cry with you too, that's for sure 😭 I also love Berrien too muchー if anything , he is the reason I play Akuneko. But then again I live off the angst and the drama... Well, don't we all, though 😂

[peppermintspider]

I hate baby talk so much!!!!! Children don’t even talk wike dis. Yeah some of them can slur words a bit, or have a lisp, but mostly they just veer off into random tangents or onto different topics from another topic without bridging them first. Like that’s literally how they talk it’s not "Iwe am swo swo swad iwe cawnt pway wis my twoys wite noww:(((((" it’s "I really really really liked all those sharks I really wanted to get that shark why can we just play with the sharks why do they have to be all locked up. Jellyfish’s!!! I love jellyfish. I wonder if they smell bad" *stuffs cheerio in face hole and proceeds to wander off completely unconcerned with the one sided conversation* (read mumbled, change the speed that you’re reading in various increments, and the k’s soft).

If you shits really want to write small child characters then you need to show their age through their actions and words, not how they speak you annoying ass lazy ass motherfucker. Fucking hate baby talk. Makes me violently mad. Fuck.

Read the tags.

[engshoujosei]

Our Precious Conversations

7 volumes (digital only as of 5/10/2023.)

Licensed by Kodansha, also on Azuki and INKR Comics.

Nozomi Aizawa has has kept her feelings for her schoolmate Azuma-kun a secret for quite a while, but the time has come for her to finally confess. His response, though, is far from ordinary! Led in circles by his hilarious tangents, these two awkward teenagers find themselves growing ever closer while muddling through misunderstandings and off-topic rants. When the airheaded stalker Aizawa-san finally connects with the petulant know-it-all Azuma-kun, the result is a romantic comedy worth talking about! Note: Nominated for the Best Shoujo Manga of the 44th Kodansha Manga Awards in 2020.

Status in Country of Origin

7 Volumes (Complete)

Tags:

Award-Nominated Work

Awkward Female Lead

Bad Luck

Beautiful Female Lead

Bickering Love

Blunt Male Lead

Blushing

Bookworm/s

Comedy Couple

Dating Advice

Dense Male Lead

Episodic

Family

Female Lead Falls in Love First

First Love

Friendship

High School Student/s

Novelist

Opposites Attract

Quiet Male Lead

School Club/s

Self-Conscious

Sexism

Shy Female Lead

Socially Clueless Male Lead

Stalkerish Female Lead

Stoic Male Lead

Straightforward Female Lead

[thegreatimpersonator]

yeah i get its a very fine line i guess i should have specified more. the podcast episode was about how she's always been in love with various people and was reading her childhood diary (before she was 10) and at one point mentions how she wanted to sleep with someone so they both went off on a tangent on when they started masturbating and having sexual thoughts. the entire podcast is chill just a couple talking to each other but this one jumped out because i feel like it should be a topic that's approached in a more considerate way maybe? especially in a country that shames anything sexual and there's barely any sex ed like at the very least put up a content warning at the start that maybe kids shouldn't be watching this. i used to teach kids 5-15 in age just before the pandemic and i saw first hand how easy it is to influence them in any which way you want if you dont give two shits. i had a handful of students from 8 to 13 years old, completely desensitized to any sort of violence because the parents didnt have a care in the world aside from being obeyed the way they wanted. and those are the same kids that watched her content. maybe im approaching this from a teacher's perspective still, and that's the issue i have. i learned asap how careful i had to be with topic and even word choices because they pick things up super fast and before you know it, you could end up with a parent screaming in your face (saw it happen to a coworker) about an offhanded remark made in passing. sorry this is too long i have a lot of thoughts on this subject? situation? idk lol

Ah I see your point! I think it's okay that they're talking about sex unless they're being highly inappropriate about it since their main audience is children (like miranda sings), adding a tag/description notifying parents that there will be mentions of this content would be helpful probably!

[your-dungeon-is-problematic]

Hobgoblin (AD&D)

Hobgoblins! Like goblins, only...hobbier? Or rather, they’re bigger and stronger and...more orange than regular goblins. And I hear they’re highly militarized in structure. But only the parts of the military that make them more evil. Let’s take a gander, then!

General:  “Hobgoblins are a fierce humanoid race that wage a perpetual war with the other humanoid races.” So, first sentence, and we already are embroiled in a war of racial violence. ...This doesn’t bode well. “They are intelligent, organized, and aggressive.” See, if it wasn’t for the previous sentence, or the adjective “aggressive”, they could simply be intelligent and organized. But no, to hell with that, they’re evil, because my fighter isn’t going to getting to Level 5 by not murdering people. “The typical hobgoblin is a burly humanoid standing 6 1/2′ tall. Their hairy hides range from dark reddish-brown to dark gray. Their faces show dark red or red-orange skin. Large males have blue or red noses. Hobgoblin eyes are either yellowish or dark brown while their teeth are yellow.” Wait, really? I’ve never seen it portrayed where their face is a significantly different color from the rest of their body, not to mention their noses. It makes them sound almost like baboons, or mandrills, or other weirdly colorful apes... And of course, they have terrible dental hygiene, because it’s not like anyone who wasn’t evil didn’t have terrible teeth, too. Heaven forbid a good person ever be unable to receive or afford dental care, right? “Their garments tend to be brightly colored, often bold, blood red. Any leather is always tinted black.” I’m struggling not to quote “Paint It Black”, here, guys. “Hobgoblin weaponry is kept polished and repaired.  Hobgoblins have their own language and often speak with orcs, goblins, and carnivorous apes. Roughly 20% of them can speak the common tongue of man.” ...Wait, the common tongue of man? Since when has humanity ever, ever had a common tongue? I mean, you get lingua francas from time to time, but even those are usually known more by scholars or merchants or the like, not all people, everywhere. Hell, the closest we’ve ever gotten to a “common language” is English, and that’s only due to the cultural influence of both Great Britain and the United States over the last two centuries, after the Industrial Revolution was well underway, and then even more so after the advent of television, and later the Internet. To me there’s a gaggle of weird and/or unfortunate implications by having a “common language” that is explicitly “of man” in a pseudo-medieval setting. Not to mention, if dwarves and elves have been around longer, as they so often are in D&D settings, why wouldn’t any lingua franca descend from Dwarvish, Elvish, or hell, even Draconic?? ...I’m sorry, I got off on a tangent, so allow me a very small one: “Carnivorous apes”?! Where are the carnivorous apes?! I haven’t seen any carnivorous apes in this book, much less ones that are sapient to the point of using language. Did I miss them?? I mean, they can’t be using an insulting term for orcs or goblins, because they’re mentioned by name alongside the “carnivorous apes”. Where are the apes?! Alright, sorry, moving on.

Combat: “Hobgoblins in a typical force will be equipped with polearms (30%), morningstars (20%), swords and bows (20%), spears (10%), swords and spears (10%), swords and morning stars (5%), or swords and whips (5%).” You know, with a diversity of arms like that, and if you read up on the necessary strategies to portray this in-game, you could make the hobgoblins masters of combined arms tactics. A squad of spearmen defending the archers, and such. I mean, I suppose a high enough level wizard could blow through such groups with fireballs and the like, but on the other hand, if it’s just the one wizard against an army of hobgoblins, an army has more men to spare than most wizards have spells for the day... “Hobgoblins fight equally well in bright light or virtual darkness, having infravision with a range of 60 feet. Hobgoblins hate elves and always attack them first.” I...well. ...That came right the hell out of nowhere, didn’t it? No context of any kind, before or after, this is the last sentence of this section. Just leave us on that note, eh? Is this just to remind DMs that if the party has an elf in it, any hobgoblin armies will just beeline towards them for murder? What’s the point?

Habitat/Society: “Hobgoblins are nightmarish mockeries of the humanoid races who have a military society organized in tribal bands,” Ah. Just starting off with a right hook of “evil AND ugly”, eh? Well. “Nightmarish mockeries”? Seriously? Just because they do have a military society, and are perhaps not as “classically beautiful” like the elves are, doesn’t make them “Nightmarish mockeries”. I mean, most dwarves aren’t exactly lookers, themselves, and their society is all about mining and killing whatever disrupts their mining, but that doesn’t make them “nightmarish mockeries” of anyone else who mines and is militaristic. Hell, “nightmarish mockeries” would make more sense if they were corruptions of a different race, like how Tolkiens orcs are thought to be corrupted elves, or if they were just manufactured by some evil entity, but as far as I can tell hobgoblins arose as naturally as any other race in Dungeons & Dragons, and yet you’re just going to call them “nightmarish mockeries of the humanoid races who have a military society”.  Right.  “Each tribe is intensely jealous of its status. Chance meetings with other tribes will result in verbal abuse (85%) or open fighting (15%).” This just gives me the hilarious mental image of some scribe shadowing a hobgoblin tribe and recording the reaction whenever they came across a different tribe over the course of a year or two. “It just gets into a metaphorical pissing match 85% of the time.” “That’s ludicrously precise.” “Hobgoblin tribes are found in almost any climate or subterranean realm. A typical tribe of hobgoblins will have between 20 and 200 (2d10 x 10) adult male warriors. In addition, for every 20 male hobgoblins there will be a leader (known as a sergeant) and two assistants. These have 9 hit points each but still fight as 1+1 Hit Die monsters. Groups numbering over 100 are led by a sub-chief who has 16 hit points and an Armor Class of 3. he great strength of a sub-chief gives it a +2 on its damage rolls and allows it to fight as a 3 Hit Die monster. If the hobgoblins are encountered in their lair, they will be led by a chief with AC 2, 22 hit points, and +3 points of damage per attack, who fights as a 4 Hit Die monster. The chief has 5-20 (5d4) sub-chiefs acting as bodyguards. Leaders and chiefs always carry two weapons.” ...This implies a much more complex and organized society than the monstrous manual will deign to elaborate on. And on a minor note, why didn’t they go all the way with the military ranking thing? Like, okay, so you got sergeants in charge of 20-man groups, why isn’t the “sub-chief” called a “captain” or a “colonel”, or something? Why isn’t the chief a “general” or “warlord”?  ...Don’t tell me it’s because by using “tribal” terminology it makes them seem more “primitive” and therefore less “cultured” and therefore because they don’t contribute much in the way of “culture” it’s “more okay” to exterminate them, because that would be nothing short of absolutely hideous. “Each tribe has a distinctive battle standard which is carried into combat to inspire the troops. If the tribal chief is leading the battle, he will carry the standard with him, otherwise it will be held by one of his sub-chiefs.” ...Well, uh, good? Is there some morale bonus for depriving them of it? If there is, you don’t expound upon it here. Is it in the DMG? “In addition to the warriors present in a hobgoblin tribe, there will be half again that many females and three times as many children as adult males.” Oh, my God. So literally for every two hobgoblins you’re killing, that’s three hobgoblin women and six hobgoblin children you’re leaving without a father/husband/brother/what-have-you? That’s awful. You keep doing this, Monstrous Manual, you keep telling us about the women and children, right after telling us that this species can be killed without any moral quandaries, and then don’t tell us what to do about the noncombatants that the party will leave behind, traumatized, if you play them as written. It is baffling. “Fully 80% of all known hobgoblin lairs are subterranean complexes. The remaining 20% are surface villages which are fortified with a ditch, fence, 2 gates, and 3-6 guard towers. Villages are often built upon ruined humanoid settlements and may incorporate defensive features already present in the ruins.” See, this shows at least as much knowledge of construction of fortification, or ingenuity in utilizing old construction, as the armies of Rome did in ancient times, but I hardly think you would call Rome ‘uncivilized’ or free to exterminate, eh? Despite the Roman Empire being at least as devoted to military expansion as these hobgoblins you’re trying to portray as irredeemably evil.  “Hobgoblin villages possess artillery in the form of 2 heavy catapults, 2 light catapults, and a ballista for each 50 warriors. Underground complexes may be guarded by 2-12 carnivorous apes (60%)” It is things like this that I like, because they do portray the military focus of their society, even though I know it’s to show DMs how to design these fortresses that their parties are inevitably going to infiltrate and burn to the ground.  ...Also, again with the carnivorous apes?! Did I overlook an entry in this book? Where are the carnivorous apes?? ......Oh, they’re under ‘Mammal’.  ...Huh. See, it’s just weird that, first of all, they can be spoken with in a manner they can understand, and also as far as I know there are no apes that are obligate carnivores? ...I mean, I suppose more than a few are insectivorous, but that’s a little different from red meat, you know? Though who knows, I could be wrong. Moving on! “They are highly adept at mining and can detect new construction, sloping passages, and shifting walls 40% of the time.” See, between the mining, the stout defenses and fortifications, and the racial hatred towards elves, explain to me in what way hobgoblins are different from most dwarven kingdoms.

Ecology: “Hobgoblins feel superior to goblins or orcs and may act as leaders for them.” ...In a “white man’s burden”, kind of way, or...? “In such cases, the ‘lesser races’ are used as battle fodder.” Ah. ...Though in practice, that’s usually how the “white man’s burden” mentality seems to play out, too... “Hobgoblin mercenaries may work for powerful or rich evil humanoids.” But only evil ones, because since when have good humanoids ever been powerful and/or rich? Like, this is especially odd, considering if you’re mercenaries, you work for the highest bidder, usually, right? So if the good guys pay you better, could you convert hobgoblin mercenaries to your way of thinking? Or, because they’re EEEEEEVIL, would they take the money and run?

Koalinth: “This marine species of hobgoblin is similar to the land dwelling variety in many respects. Koalinth dwell in shallow fresh or salt water and make their homes in caves. Their bodies have adapted to marine environments via the evolution of gills. Their webbed fingers and toes give them a movement rate of 12 when swimming. Their bodies are sleeker than those of hobgoblins and they have light green skin. They speak an unusual dialect of the hobgoblin tongue.” ...So does anyone else get vague flashbacks to the seadweller trolls from Homestuck? Because I’m getting vague flashbacks to the seadweller trolls from Homestuck. ...Also, hold up, they evolved gills? So evolution in Dungeons & Dragons is confirmed. So are hobgoblins some manufactured-to-be-evil race, or did they arise through natural evolution? Because if they evolved naturally there is no reason that I can think of that they would be absolutely bugfuck evil, to a man. “They tend to employ thrusting weapons like spears and pole arms. Koalinth are every bit as disagreeable as hobgoblins, preying on every thing they come across, especially aquatic humanoid and demi-human races. They detest aquatic elves.” Well that’s self-destructive as hell. If you destroy anything and everything that is not you, then anything that isn’t you is going to gang up on you and take you out. It’s societal suicide.  ...And again with the weird, specific elf hate. No expounding on that point at all, just “they hate THESE GUYS in particular”.  I mean, I suppose racism doesn’t really have any good explanation, but usually they try to think of some threadbare justification to sate their own warped consciences.

General: Well! I mean, if nothing else, you can’t say their society isn’t organized. ...But if the males are implicitly all warriors, does that leave the women to farm and feed these armies? Because I mean, hey, an army can’t fight on an empty stomach, right? At least, not very well. And raiding and pillaging neighboring cities only works for so long, once their scouts tail you back to the lair and call down a siege that you can only outlast if you actually do have farms to feed off of. Like maybe I kind of harp on this, but a society needs an infrastructure to realistically survive. It can only mooch off of others for so long. Like, I suppose if they get big enough to actually conquer a human kingdom, they could use their new vassals to farm for them, but the entry as written implies hobgoblin settlements are usually individual fortresses with relatively small garrisons.  Also, the children! What are you going to do with the hundreds of children?! You could raise them as your own, but then that almost plays into all sorts of “white savior”/”white man’s burden” narratives, and... It’s all just a little frustrating. Like, okay, yeah, the whole “they are military-based, and are evil” isn’t that much better than “all they do is banditry. Banditry all the time, 24/7, 365 days a year, they’re evil”, but it at least is more easily made into an actual workable culture that can realistically be portrayed in a setting? Like history is no stranger to military dictatorships. You can play up the Lawful bit of their Lawful Evil alignment, make them be very heavy on the hierarchy of the chain of command, give them a very zealous military police, a court martial, all that. Like, if their theme is “military”, play it to the hilt, I’d say.  And they still needn’t be evil, even at that point. They could just be an overly zealous, overly paranoid obsessed with making sure their people are not conquered. Hell, make ‘em Sparta. A proud military city-state that doesn’t take no guff from outsiders. Until they bite off more than they can chew, are conquered by a much larger outside empire, and are quickly rendered irrelevant for the rest of time, if you’re going to go all-out with the analogy, but still. I guess what I’m saying is, and really this applies to every entry on this blog, is that you gotta work for it. Maybe they’re an isolationist city-state, maybe they’re an expansionist empire, maybe you drop the militaristic culture entirely and make them peaceable agrarians, just take the “monster” given to you and give them just a modicum of depth. Or at least, deeper than what the Monstrous Manual offers. Shouldn’t be hard. :P

[papipopsicle]

AFTERTASTE PART SEVEN

Pairing: Archie Andrews X Reader

Summary: In which two best friends since childhood test whether sex and friendship can co-exist without causing conflict. Including OC's Flick and Cherry, a bisexual and lesbian in a sapphic relationship who are best friends of Y/N.

Song: Dream Boy by Waterparks

Warnings: swearing

Words: 2.1K

MASTERLIST

feedback is always appreciated

Y/F and Y/M Robins were far from perfect parents. Y/F had the mental age of a toddler at times, and being an estate agent who always has to go the extra mile- he often wasn't home when his wife needed him the most. Y/M, on the other end of things, had been a stay at home mum until Y/N turned 16 last summer, and now she helped with all the administrative work for Mayor McCoy. She was a maternal creature which, coupled with her brilliant sarcasm, made for some explosive conversations. The two met on the first day of university and got married a week after the last.

When Y/M first found out she was pregnant with little Y/S Robins, the two realised they wanted a quiet bubble of a town to raise their children and grow up with them. But it wasn't until their second daughter was about to turn seven until they found their forever home in the quaint town of Riverdale. Ten years passing before their eyes, and the picturesque place didn't seen all that anymore.

Jason Blossom's death had nothing to do with the short gunshot sounding over the waves of Sweetwater River, the noise which woke Y/N from her sweet unmemorable dreams every few nights. The summer days rolled into early August without anyone caring, Y/N spending most of them at Cheryl's side listening intently to her past adventures with her brother. Betty threw herself into an internship at a publication house; Flick and Cherry had volunteered at a summer camp, and Archie was helping his dad out more and more with constructions job.

Although it hadn't been the start to the relationship Y/N had hoped for- the nervous giggles and hand holding, short and sweet kisses on late night walks followed by poetry worthy cuddling. There was a magnificent silver lining as Archie's muscles gained definition, and he suited the sweaty builder look far too well.

[INSTAGRAM]

♡ 602 likes

y/n Humph!

129 Comments | Tagged: cherylbombshell

view comments

♡ 584 likes

Cheryl busy being my own icon

98 Comments | Tagged: y/i/n

view comments

"Earth to my gorgeous queen? Y/N/N?" Cheryl quizzed her friend, who currently resided at the poolside of Thornehill Manor. Her mind was off on a glorious tangent about her rendezvous in the kitchen at two in the morning. Fixing herself a glass of water, when Archie slips his hand into her pyjama shorts, his other around her mouth muffling her needy moans.

The red headed beauty shoved her y/h/c friend playfully, warm skin sweaty under her pale touch. Y/N blinked innocently and sent her an apologetic smile, "What?"

"I asked if you've thought about dating anyone else since Clayton?" The fiery ginger girl enquired with her usual upbeat tone.

Cheryl knew she had a unique quality about her which made it almost impossible for Y/N to lie to her face. The y/h/c girl scrunched up her nose, hiding the smile the idea of Archie Andrews brought to her face. 'Yes. We started off as fuck buddies but never actually fucked. Then I drunkenly asked him to be my boyfriend, now a month later I think we may genuinely work out.'

"Maybe." Y/N bit her bottom lip, listening to her friend's squeal as she squeezed her sun tanned arm.

"I knew it! You have this euphoric glow you only get when someone else makes you climax." The redhead affirmed confidently, watching the Robins girl's eyes bug out before hitting her arm, "Y/N/N, you know your secret's safe with me."

"Fine." She sighed and took a sip of her fruity cocktail, "It started off as just fooling around, honestly I just needed to let off some steam after everything. I knew he was into the kinds of things I was, I mean he used to tease me about it non stop. And it was good, so good I stopped being a pussy and asked him to be my boyfriend."

"Holy freaking hell!" The Blossom girl grinned with excitement, "Dare I ask, who is it?"

Y/N deadpanned at her friend, "Guess."

"Please don't tell me it's that muscular oaf Reggie, he's pretty but there's not exactly much going on upstairs." Cheryl tapped her temples and rolled her eyes at the thought.

"Nope."

The ginger thought for a moment, consulting her liquid courage and splashing her feet around the waters edge, "It's Archie."

All it took was a side-eyed glance at the y/h/c girl's blooming rosy cheeks to know she definitely wasn't wrong. Y/N severely lacked the ability to lie, even if her tone held conviction, her features were far too expressive and told the truth all on their own. It's not like they were hiding it from anyone, but the past four weeks had gone far too quickly without any moments to spare for the world around them. They slept together each night, the majority of that time not actually spent sleeping, but they hadn't been given the chance yet to explore more romantic avenues.

"It's fucking Archie Andrews- you're fucking Archie Andrews and don't you dare deny it." Cheryl gawked in her gorgeous white and nude bikini, watching as her friend lay back against the hot marble slabs which encased the large pool with the largest grin adorning her plump lips.

"We haven't had sex yet, so technically you aren't completely correct." Y/N winked but carried on before the girl exploded with a hundred questions and could never be turned off, "Trust me, I want to, and I'm sure he does too. But you know, it's his first time, I want it to be perfect for him."

"Y/N/N, you really love him, don't you?" Cheryl gagged to begin with, but she found it sweet in truth. She wanted someone to hold, who would hold her right back just as tight for no other reason than needing to.

Y/N sat back up and paddled her feet, "You have no idea, Cher."

Arch 🧡

That new post should be illegal

Tiger 💛

Ooo

I like this reaction

Maybe I should post more

Like this one

Cheryl pushed me in the pool

And I may have had a drink

Or three

Arch 🧡

Well that's sexy

I swear nobody looks good like that how on earth

You're a goddess

But also

How's she holding up?

Tiger 💛

🥺😇

Broken

But she's strong yk

You coming over for dinner?

Arch 🧡

Yeah Y/D invited my dad too

Need me to pick you up from Cheryl's?

Tiger 💛

Awe cute we love a bromance, and it's all good my mommas coming now anyways :))

Hours had elapsed far too fast and soon the summer heat simmered into cool waves of wind brushing over sun kissed skin. Cheryl's arms were clasped around the blonde's shoulders in a tight embrace.

"Thank you so much, Y/N/N, I don't know what I'd do without you!" The Blossom girl professed with sparkling eyes and a brilliant smile.

Y/N beamed up at her, fingers carding through her damp y/h/c hair as she looked over her shoulder to see her mum pulling into the driveway, "You don't need to thank me, Cher, friends look after each other. Message me if you need me, okay?"

Cheryl promised she would and the two teen girls hugged goodbye, with Y/N soon heading home- listening to her mother gossip about Hal and Alice's screaming match last night, Y/N loved her inability to keep her mouth shut sometimes.

"Mom," The y/h/c stopped her mid sentence and received a side eyed glance in response, "I need to tell you something and you're totally not allowed to freak out while you're driving."

Y/M's eyes widened and her grip tightened around the steering wheel, her daughters very rarely confided in her. While she knew her youngest was safe in her promiscuity, neither of Y/M Robins' girls ever shared their secrets so for the most part she took finding out into her own hands.

"Honey," The forty four year old's calm tone was hardly comforting to the teenager, "if this is about you and Archie fooling around, your father and I figured that out a long time ago, like so long ago. Who do you think does your laundry? When your underwear starting looking like dental floss, we caught on pretty quickly."

Y/N felt like a deer in headlights, "Mum, what the hell?" Her cheeks heated to an inhuman temperature.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, as long as you're being safe and he's-"

"For the second time today, and I can't believe I'm saying this to you, but I am not having sex with Archie Andrews!" Y/N's high pitched voice sounded through the car. It truly was a blessing and a curse to have such open minded parents in situations like this. She thought about telling her mother the truth, but Y/M was a blabber mouth as well as a gossip, so Y/N chose to withhold certain pieces of information.

The Robins matriarch dropped the subject but didn't forget about her daughter's tone, and continued to ramble on about how odd she found Penelope Blossom and the whole Blossom family in general. "Like why on Earth is Rose in a wooden wheelchair? They know it's the twenty first century, right?"

As expected, the Robins household was once again filled with warm laughter and copious amounts of food. The topic of Jason was skimmed over, and Y/S found herself away from the dinner table. The eldest Robins sibling was currently pleading with Alice as she began shoving all of Polly's belongings in the boot of Hal's car. She couldn't comprehend life without her best friend, not after losing Jason. They were meant to be going travelling together for a year- working the worst jobs and staying up all night to watch the sun rise in different countries. But instead, Y/S's eyes were blinded by tears as she screamed down the street at the speeding car, with Polly Cooper taken out of her life indefinitely.

Y/N was oblivious to the dark inner workings of the Cooper clan, Betty's knowledge about her and Archie unbeknownst to the loved up teens. She'd spent every second not occupied by her internship trying to justify the romantic act as a fleeting moment of loneliness fuelled by alcohol. She wrote in her diary ideas on how she could win Archie back over, not knowing it was in fact, too late. Betty found herself hopelessly in love with the boy next door, unfortunately for her, the girl across the road was the only one his mind found.

Archie and Y/N washed up while their parents resided to the living room with three glasses and a bottle of white wine. The short girl turned the tap off after placing the last utensil on the draining board, flicking her sudsy hands at the boy's face. "What the-"

She didn't give him a chance to finish that thought, jumping up and wrapping her legs around his torso- planting a kiss onto his lips, then cheeks, then forehead. The two fell entranced by each other, planting pecks across nape of her neck and top of his head.

"Son," Fred's voice called out from the next room and the two immediately pulled apart, hearts beating in their ears, "we're going in a minute."

"Alright." He replied, placing his girlfriend on the floor once more.

"I wish you'd stay." Y/N pouted childishly, she meant the words entirely but hated feeling overbearing. Her life had been turned upside down this summer, it started off with her unable to fall asleep with another person next to her- now Archie's chest was her most comfortable pillow and is arms were the warmest blanket.

"Tomorrow night instead, Princess? I promised my dad I'd spend more time with him before senior year." The boy reasoned, holding her close and unknowingly feeling the exact same way, he adored holding her by her waist and pulling her close under the duvet.

"Monopoly night at yours?" She grinned and he nodded back in reply, the two sharing a final kiss in the kitchen before walking into the hallway.

Y/N felt at ease as she wished the two a goodnight and headed up to bed. She took off her tea dress and replaced it with Archie's bulldog t-shirt, managing to reach the same length on her thighs as her dress did.

Arch 🧡

I can still smell your perfume on my sheets

Tiger 💛

Marking my territory obviously x

Arch 🧡

I love it

Hope you sleep well baby x

Tiger 💛

Call me that tomorrow and we won't be sleeping so you better rest up tonight x

Arch 🧡

Whatever you say, baby x

Tiger 💛

Goodnight x

Arch 🧡

Night princess x

part eight?

wanna be tagged? just send in an ask x

[leo-interactive-fiction]

I had a bad day at work, and due to various circumstances was under really heavy pressure(and might have caught a cold due to being in the rain). How would the ROs comfort such an MC?

I'm sorry to hear about your day, and I personally hope you get better and that the days to come hold better circumstances for you. Now what the RO's would do...

E: As you enter the house with a heavy weight on your shoulder, they're already there to lift it off with a heartfelt smile and promise. "No matter how bad it gets, I'll do my best to make up for it. Next time call me, and I'll stand out in the rain with you. It's always easier to get through things together, you know?"

R: They're quick to pick up on your stress, giving you a solemn smile as they push themselves off the couch. "Seems like you've got a story to tell -- or vent, rather. I happen to be a good listener." True to their word, they're attentive to your every word, even offering some suggestions and leading you down off-topic tangents when they feel you're getting too burdened by the conversation, but always keep things focused on you.

L: They're justifiably upset and worried for your sake. "Working in such distressing conditions? How could your seniors be so irresponsible to allow that? You could easily get sick-- Ah, one moment," L flits around their bookcase in search for something, eventually resting their hand on a heavily dog-eared volume. "I will do my best to treat your symptoms before they become too pronounced. It says here for colds...'apply occasional electric shocks to the offending area'?" they glance back at the spine of the book and flush, "M-My apologies, I must have taken Rachael's..."

V: "Commander," they appear at your side, clutching their dog tags tightly in their hand, "Recompose yourself and fight. It's your duty to be strong, even when you're at your weakest. Use every resource you have, including me. As long as I am alive, you won't lose your battles."

P: "Stop dragging your feet," P mutters, unwrapping their hands and revealing bloody scabs on the knuckles. Their expression is hard to read as they look directly into your eyes, "You have to be better than the pain. The world isn't going to give you breaks. It'll take everything from you if you let it. So why're you letting it take your drive?" P stands with clenched fists, "Change your clothes. We're going to spar. Keep sitting on your ass feeling sorry for yourself and I'll show you what life has in store."

M: "Aren't you...pushing yourself...too hard...?" They tut and begin massaging your shoulders, "Stress...is bad...for your health...you know...? Everyone has...limitations...It's important to...understand...yours..." You feel your tension ease quickly at M's touch. They laugh softly as you begin to lean into it, "Does it...help...? I like to...think... I'm very good...with my hands...I'll do it...for as long...as you want...if it helps you...relax..."

Ra: You find them drenched when you enter the house, muddy footprints tracing a hasty path from the back door to where they are now. They greet you with a pleasant smile, ignoring the water dripping from their matted hair, "Welcome home dear! You're back later than usual, aren't you? I almost got worried! Especially with the sudden turn of weather! It has been storming quite often lately, hasn't it? It can cause cars to veer uncontrollably off roads and into areas that are hard for search parties to navigate...Oh! A little unrelated, but your boss still drives the rusted truck with a dent on the left side of the hood, right?"

S: They tilt their chair onto two legs, leaning towards you energetically, "Damn, they got ya whipped again? Hey, I know, whadd'ya say we graffiti the house of the guy that keeps makin' ya do that stupid shit? We can even break a couple windows or somethin' if it helps ya feel better."

F: They beckon you over as you enter the house. Sitting cross-legged, they give you a lazed once over until an elegant smirk greets their lips. "You appear to be in particularly dire straits, don't you? Perhaps you'd enjoy a moment of respite? It seems fortune smiles on you, as Fiore has deigned to complete your duties while you were busy performing menial labor for a less significant cause. Don't believe I will treat your lack of loyalty lightly, either, but I will take my time determining a just punishment. Now fetch us a drink if you will, or I may start finding ideas."

Thank ya for the ask! And take care of yourself anon

[vidalinav]

im so happy you’re accepting prompts!! just know that there’s no pressure at all, and that we love your writing🤍 prompt: cassian and nesta talk about whether they’d still inevitably end up together if they weren’t mates and just alot of fluffy sweet banter

I did yours first because I really appreciated you saying that there was no pressure in completing it. I felt that and I thought it was the nicest thing in the world.

BUT It came out really stupid sorry so... I'm not going to tag anyone. However I will own my shame so here you go.

It's banter in the form of pillow talk, where Cassian constantly keeps Nesta up by asking her questions. In my brain, he goes on tangents and Nesta is the pragmatic one. That's like... okay Cassian. But again. STUPID!!!!!

~

“Do you think it would have been me?” Cassian asks as he tries to count constellations in fresh paint. “If we didn’t have the bond... would it have been us? I guess the real question is did the bond choose us from the start--our relationship destined? Or did the bond see us... how we acted and felt about each other, and some cosmic force recognized our love?

Nesta shifts in the bed, her eyes blinking up at him slowly. “Cassian these are not the type of questions you ask right before bed.”

But he has to ask, he always has to ask. There’s something about the darkness that has these questions bubbling out of his throat. “But think about it Nesta, don’t you think we’re sort of... odd.”

Cassian thinks about it all the time. There's no one more perfect for him then her and yet, he sees the way people look at them. His hands will always be stained with blood and Nesta is more fitted for white gloves and lace. And he knows she can hold a sword and fight with the best of them, but Nesta can fit anywhere and Cassian can’t fit.

“I mean I understand opposites attract,” he rambles on, “and we do have similarities, but we mostly fought in the beginning and yet I still wanted you even then. Was my want for you a part of the bond? Or was the bond part of wanting you? And if it’s the first, in another universe, in another time, would it have been me? And if it’s the second what if you hadn’t wanted me, too.”

Cassian turns to face her, the bed creaking as he moves. He watches as she frowns, her lashes casting shadows on her cheek. “I promised we’d have that time, but I never considered that in another life it might not have been me at all.”

It's not the first time he keeps her awake with some question or another.

Usually, she merely sighs exhausted at what do you think the meaning of life is? Does time even exist if we really think about it... Do you ever think about how you can know a person you’re entire life and only scratch the surface of who they are? Does that mean you can never really know a person truly in the first place and if that’s the case aren’t we all living with practical strangers?

More often than not Nesta’s covering her ears with the pillow, groaning while Cassian tries to pull it from her face. They’ve had a hundred and one nights like this. He wants a million more.

Cassian tries to catch his breath, almost wishing she’d groan or sigh or roll her eyes, play it off like it’s a stupid question because it is. he knows it is.

“So tell me,” he says, his words a whisper of worry, “what do you think? Was it always going to be us?

Nesta's brows furrow quizzically and she purses her lips. “I don’t know if you can tell this about me Cassian, but I don’t like many people.”

Cassian frowns at the words, “Is that an answer?”

Nesta shrugs, “I find it hard to believe I would have loved anyone else.”

“So you’re with me... by process of elimination?”

“Or...” She offers, her gaze alight with mirth, “you’re the exception.”

Hmm.

Cassian needs to think on that one.

“But hypothetically, what would you have done if it wasn’t me?” he goads. “We only exist because you turned fae, what if you hadn’t? There may or may not be a bond but the relationship is impractical if you’re human and I’m fae. You’d just get married to some poor bloke who gives you this large diamond ring and you have 12 children?”

Nesta scoffs, “Twelve?”

“Whatever number,” Cassian dismisses.

Nesta raises her hands to stop him, “we are not having twelve children.”

“That’s... a topic for another day,” Cassian waves off.

“No,” Nesta sings, “that’s a topic I will resolve now. We are not having twelve kids.”

“But I want a big family,” Cassian pleads, grabbing her hands and giving her that look that he knows makes her take pity on him.

Nesta rolls her eyes. “You’re head is big enough to fill up the entire house. We have no room for that many people. No. No!”

“The House is four stories. What are we suppose to do with all those rooms?”

“Cassian unless you are birthing these babies yourself in which I will fully support you emotionally, spiritually, and financially, we are not having twelve children. End of discussion.”

Cassian only grumbles out a response.

“And regarding your other question, I don’t know what I would’ve done. That scenario doesn’t exist. I’m fae, you’re fae. That’s it and unless we plan on dying tomorrow, I don’t know if we’d end up together in the next life. I don’t know if the bond keeps us coming back to each other. I don’t care. I want this life with you. I chose you and you chose me and we’re here together. And I guess, if the bond, or what I deem as love, means I’m going to have to answer these questions every night, then I guess that’s what I’m going to do.”

Nesta reaches for him, and Cassian shifts to make room for her. She settles her head on his outstretched arm. It tickles at his skin, but he can’t believe she’s just satisfied enough with that answer.

“Would you have married someone else though?”

Nesta sighs, but Cassian waits for the answer. She groans, mumbling about not getting any sleep.

“Probably,” she says at last. “Yes. If you want that answer, then yes. But quite honestly knowing my character and knowing the males in my town, we probably wouldn’t have lasted long. I would have killed him long before we ever reached twelve.”

Cassian laughs and Nesta brightens at the sound.

“Or he might have run head first into a moving carriage on his own accord. I wouldn’t have judged him.”

“How would you kill him?”

Nesta smirks, her eyes maliciously bright. “Poison... knives... a trip down the stairs.”

“Make it look like an accident.”

“Of course,” Nesta beams.

“You’ve thought about this a lot,” Cassian says, noting his mate’s excitement.

Nesta sets her hand on his cheek, rubbing her thumb along the rough stubble of his chin. “Murder is always on my mind.”

“I should probably stop keeping you up with my questions, then.”

Her lips are impossibly close to his, and he can feel her breath on his skin. “Maybe you should. I’m sure the House knows how to hide a body.”

Cassian laughs, the sound bright in the shadowed room. He’s sure that’s true and her lips raise at his calm shrug of acceptance. His eyes dart to her mouth.

Cassian wants to kiss her, but he has to tell her first.

“I love you.”

“I know,” she says, her lips nearly touching his.

Being near her is a relief. But hearing her speak is something else entirely. Maybe he asks her these questions because he wants to hear her voice into the last moments of the day. At all hours of the night.

Nesta wraps her hand around his hair and tugs.

But another question forms in his mind. “Would you’re family have approved of me?”

Nesta rolls her eyes, pulling away from him. Cassian grasps her arms, pulling her back. “Hey, come on now. You’ve indulged me this far.”

Nesta pretends to think about her answer, and as he waits she looks to the ceiling as if she’s actually thinking about it. Cassian can practically hear crickets.

“It’s taking you this long!”

“Well... I’m trying to be accurate!” She throws up her hands. “You know maybe they wouldn’t, because you’re not... princely. No offense.”

“None taken,” He remarks. Because he knows all too well the differences between them. Cassian doesn’t mind. She’ll be his queen. He can be her guard. Her knight. Whatever keeps her next to him.

“But then again, maybe they would because you are rich--hey!”

Nesta catches the pillow he throws and she throws it back at him. He catches it easily before it hits his face.

“Who hits their mate upside the head?” She yells.

Cassian rolls his eyes, “You hit me all the time.”

“I smack your butt. That is not the same.”

Cassian scoffs, “You won’t let me smack your butt.”

“That’s because you try to do it in public places!”

“Oh, so you’re okay if I tap your ass in private. You trying to tell me something Nes? Who knew you'd like to be spanked?”

Her cheeks redden and Cassian shrugs, thinking about it. "Actually I should've known that."

“I change my mind," She announces, grabbing his pillow, "they’d hate you and you know what? I would marry that man and I’d have twelve beautiful children!”

Then Nesta simply turns away from him and pulls the blanket over her head.

Cassian tries to pull the blanket down, but she doesn't loosen her grip. “Take that back! Nesta, take that back. I’m serious.”

“Nesta!” He hisses. “Nes, I’m not going to stop bothering you. Nesta!”

But Cassian slumps as the lump of blankets stays still. Nesta doesn’t even make a sound. 

“How about I pretend you didn’t just tell me about one of your fantasies and I'll bring it back up later. I’ll even pretend I found it in one of your books."

He rubs at what he thinks is her ass and Nesta shoves down the blankets with a flourish. Her hair is a mess of tangles all over the pillow.

“I hate you,” she says.

Cassian grins, setting his palms on her reddened cheeks.

“I love you,” He says softly, lightly tracing her soft skin with his thumb. It’s a privilege to be near her, to touch her, to be loved by her. To laugh and laugh and laugh. It doesn’t matter how, when, what, or why. “I wouldn’t want anyone else but you.”

Cassian kisses her lightly, “I still think we should talk about those children though.”

He merely gets smacked in the face with a pillow.

~

Fin.

~

I keep reading this and I can't make it better, so.... you win some, you lose some, you know.

[alonelysimp]

In Love With You

Characters: Tartaglia x GN! Reader

WC: 411

Genre: Light angst? maybe?

Warnings: minor angst

Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply, M/GN, Unrequited love

Song: Tunnel Vision - Egg

He sighs, propping his chin with his hand. This was dumb, getting caught up by some emotions. And for you, no less. It wasn’t the first time he had fallen for someone, the desire to chase after them was no stranger to him, but it didn’t feel like this before. They had never interfered like this. 

I wish you looked at me like that. 

Loving you was like an explosion in his chest. Lively and powerful and… absolutely mesmerizing. Sparks of energy flowing all the way to his fingertips, filling him with pure joy when your eyes lit up. He loved it. How your smile brightened the room, how you would make little gestures with your hands when you talked, how your hair would get caught in the wind and you’d take a few seconds to fix it. He couldn’t take his eyes off you, even if he tried. The way you would playfully scold him for getting hurt on a mission while patching him up or when you’d get mad at him for doing something reckless and you’d do something equally, if not more so. When Zhongli mentions a topic you enjoy and you drag him off on a tangent, the way your eyes sparkled when you laughed after realizing how far off the main topic you got.

But alas, he was a harbinger. Unfit for a relationship of any kind, barely hanging onto his family. His previous relationships never lasted long enough for them to be an issue; all of them ending after a few weeks when he got bored, when the “new relationship” feeling wore off. “It’s not you, it’s me.” Though the wounds sounded shallow, he knew they were true. Would you end up the same way?

He shuddered. The idea of getting bored of you, bored of your presence, he hated it. If he did… he would never forgive himself. Is it better to just leave it as it is? The preparations were almost complete, he would be leaving Liyue in a matter of weeks. Maybe even days. Could I really leave you behind?

He sighs, handing mora to the waitress.

“Tartaglia?” Your voice cuts through his thoughts, silvery and melodious. “Everything okay?” He nods, smiling.

“Especially because you’re here.” Your voice, your laugh, your smile, he couldn’t get enough of it. You roll your eyes, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

“You’re insufferable.”

If only I could be in love with you.

And so, the unending tartaglia simp hours have begun taking over again !!

No longer cramming for school !!

More childe simping posts !!

[sapphire-knight]

Welcome to a new episode of Sapphire Rambles, today's topic being:

Just as c!Tommy is a simbol of Care, c!Fundy is a simbol of Love.

Let me explain.

(There are going to be 3 principal points to this rant, and each of them is gonna end with a Tl;dr in purple, so it's easier to follow)

If you're a regular in the Fundy tag (or in the Ranboo tag since this argument gets often brought up in relation to C!Ranboo), you might have already seen some rants talking about how C!Fundy is an incredibly loving person, willing to chase after the people he care about if he sees the tiniest hint that mending their relationship is possible, even if they hurted him in the past.

Yeah you are going to see the same argument again here in the first part, but I promise this gets interesting

This became more clear after the Break, when he decided to try and mend his relationship with Philza and Ranboo even if they weren't at all on good terms at the moment, but he thought it was worth it so he tried and will keep on trying anyways, but we have examples of Fundy's really loving and forgiving nature back to the Revolutionary era

Everyone knows about Eret's betrayal I'm sure, but one thing people seem to skim over is how it effected Fundy, because there's the really high possibility that he was the one who was hurted the most by it.

For everyone who has some spotty memory (me too sometimes fam), Eret was the closest person to Fundy at the time, the two being really close friends, so the betrayal must have had a terrible effect on his emotional health, but you know how it went?

It went that Fundy was the first person to reach out to Eret and start to forgive his actions. Fundy always valued his friendships above the side he was in. So even tho he was a L'manburg abitant, he still thought of Eret as a dear friend to him and did his best to not make them feel alone or isolated

There are really few examples of people Fundy actually has an issue with, but even here Hate is a strong and mostly wrong word to apply, for example:

- Wilbur: as we are shown in the interactions with Ghostbur, Fundy didn't hate Wilbut for how he neglected and patronized him, it made him upset (as we saw when Ghostbur called him "his little champion" and he ran away) but he never hated Wilbur for that. The only thing he didn't forgive him was deciding to die, leaving him. And his issue with Ghostbur is not aknowledging or taking responsability. But he doesn't hate Ghostbur, he can talk to him in a civil manner even if the Ghost pretty much upsets him. And about Wilbur? Fundy loved Wilbur, the thing that hurted him was he taking the decision to definitivly leave him.

- Technoblade: even before Doomsday, the correct word of Fundy's feelings towards Techno has never been Hate, but Fear. A lot of people seemed to miss this point about the Butcher Army as a whole, but they weren't move by hate, even if they tried to make it look like they were. They were terrified. On their way to Techno's house, it was more clear than ever that they were TERRIBLY afraid of Techno. The Butcher army was never a movement of hate, but a bad reaction to a traumatic event that scarred them with fear. Also, after the Break? Fundy understands why Techno wanted L'manburg gone, so he doesn't hate him for that.

- Jschlatt: if you followed Fundy's pov, it won't be a surprise me saying that Fundy doesn't hate Jschlatt, but it may be news to other people, since one of the last interaction between the two was... anything but positive. I still shiver at the caravan scene. But even after all he's done, Fundy can't bring himself to completly hate Jschlatt, even if he did a lot of horrible things and was a horrible person, he still doesn't hate him. Fundy took with him Jschlatt's sword, keeping it as a relic and a memory of the man.

There is no one in the server, probably not even Dream Himself, that Fundy full-on hates. No matter how much they hurted him and everyone else, he just. Doesn't hate them. He's able to see the humanity in everyone, even if he wishes he could just hate people that wronged him. He was always forgiving and loving, these two aspects of him becoming even more prominent after his Break.

Tl;dr: Fundy is a character incredibly full of love and almost always willing to forgive and mend relationships with people he cares about at the moment he sees the possibility.

Now that I got the part most talked about out of the way, I'm taking the second tangent. Let's talk about Self-love.

It's not news the fact that there are really few characters, if not actually none of them, who love themselves. Might it be for trauma or for guilt, none of the characters actually love themself and act out of self-love.

Sometimes there are characters that act for themselves, but that is different from acting out of self-love.

Acting for themselves means doing something to achieve an objective that you want, for example: Eret's betrayal.

Eret betrayed L'Manburg becayse he was promised the role of King of the SMP by Dream, she acted out of her wish for power and control. That's an example of acting for yourself.

Acting out of self-love means doing something with the only cardinal reason being that it's good for you, taking care of yourself doing something that makes you feel better and healthier. That is acting out of self-love.

And, if you look at the server, you can easily see that no one has ever done that, expect for one single time.

The closest wrong thing you might be thinking off right now is when Tommy escaped from exile, but that was not an act driven by self-love. Sure, Tommy saved himself and went towards a healthier mindset, but what drove him towards that direction was not a desire to be better and good for himself, but rage towards Dream and a desire to be back to his family and friends.

You know what the only act that could possibly be out os self-love is?

Fundy going away for a years and a half, taking a break from everyone

Think about it for a second. Why did he do that? Let's start putting away the wrong possibilities:

- Doing it for someone: Fundy at the moment was heavily spiraling towards paranoia, wanting to be a villain to make everyone hate him. If that was his mindset at the time, why would he even want to get a break for anyone?

- Having a second cause: what second cause could there be for a choice like getting away from an unhealthy situation to heal? The only second reason a choice like this could have is healing to help someone else heal when you're feeling better, but refer to the last point

- ... that's virtually it

The only reason that could have caused Fundy to decide to take a break from the whole situation because it was unhealthy and heal was because he wanted to heal. For himself. He genuinly wanted himself to feel better for the only reason being, simply, feeling better.

Fundy is the only character for now to have ever taken an important choice for making himself feel better and letting himself heal.

Tl;dr: Fundy taking the year and a half break was the only decision on the entire SMP taken only out of self-love and genuine desire to feel better for the sole reason of feeling better.

Fundy is a representation of love, in any shape or form. He is unapologetically full of love and care, both for himself and for the people around him.

Anyway, the third part is a theory, if younwill kindly follow me:

The above analysis is the exact reason why the Egg causes Fundy an extreme repulsion.

Since both Fundy and Tubbo said that the Egg seems connected to Dreamons, I'm going to roll with that idea in mind.

As we all know, one of the only known weaknesses of a Dreamon is Love and this Dreamon seems to be acting and controlling people out of wishes and desires.

Fundy should be a perfect candidate for the Egg to manipulate, isn't he? One of Fundy's most known characteristic is his research for love, affection and appreciation from people, and we know the egg has no problem using love to manipulate someone, because he is manipulating Bbh using his (platonic?) love for Skeppy against him.

So why the egg would cause a repulsing reaction to Fundy?

Tommy seems immune because he doesn't wish for anything right now, he has everything that he wants

Tubbo also has a repulsive reaction, but is not a hateful reaction but one driven by fear and sadness, the Egg purposefully trying to scare him away, probably to make him unable to fight against him

But why Fundy's reaction would be full-on hate?

I think the egg was trying to do with Fundy the same thing he's doing with Tubbo, scaring him so badly to drive them to the point where they cannot fight back out of complete fear, but it's not working.

It's not working because the Egg fears Fundy, fears how full of pure, unfiltered and unapologetic love his heart is, fears how he's the living representation of the fact that love, of any kind, is the strongest emotion out there. Fundy already was able to defeat a Dreamon because of his own love, and now that he's more emotionally stable and has decided to follow his heart more, mending relationship with people he loves even if they hurt him?

Fundy is an incredibly dangerous threat to the Egg.

So fear is not enough to keep the fox away, he cannot let him anywhere near his plans.

He fears that if he tried the fear treatment on Fundy, Fundy would be able to break out of the web of terror as soon as someone he loved was caught in the crossfire

So he tried pushing him away in a different way, using hate instead of fear, because since Fundy is such a love-driven person all around, the best way to keep him away is to use hate, just like Tubbo is often driven by hope and optimism, so the best way to keep him far fron where he could be a danger is to use sadness and fear.

Tl;dr: The Egg is making Fundy hate him because that's the only emotion that could actually keep Fundy away from him, because he, being a Dreamon, fears how full of love Fundy is.

[spencers-renaissance]

I found my way home

Summary: After Spencer tells Hotch about his recent autism diagnosis, he expects that to be the end of it. Somehow, though, it keeps coming up, and Hotch keeps proving himself to be the best father figure he could have asked for. 

Tags: autistic spencer, protective hotch, hurt/comfort, fluff, paternal hotch, team as family

TW: mentions of ableism, one small instance of ableism & homophobia 

Pairing: Gen 

Word Count: 4.1k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

This was borne from my conversations with @criminalmindsvibez about the lack of autistic spencer fics and her amazing headcanons. While I'm not autistic, Emily is, and helped me to portray Spencer's autism as accurately as possible. That said, please feel free to correct me on anything I got wrong :)

Spencer had made an effort to get into work even earlier than usual today. He’d ridden the metro through the city, dipping his hand into his messenger bag every few minutes to compulsively check that the slim letter he’d received in the post the other day is still in the front pocket where he’d safely placed it that morning. He brushes his fingers over the paper once more as he enters the near-empty bullpen, the letter cool from the winter air.

It’s still so surreal to him that this is where he works. After years of dreaming of working for the FBI he’s finally here, and even though it’s been his place of work for almost two months now, he’s still not used to it. The warm offices are a nice reprieve from the wintry December wind, and he can feel himself relaxing as he heads to his desk. Leaving his coat and messenger bag on his chair, he pulls the letter out of the front pocket and runs his index finger along the edge. He finds himself biting his bottom lip as he tries to work up the courage to go and see Hotch. 

Sucking in a deep breath, he marches determinedly up to Hotch’s office, entering as soon as his knocks are answered. 

“Reid,” Hotch says pleasantly as he takes a seat opposite his desk, realising belatedly that he probably should have waited until he was invited. “You’re in early. What can I do for you?”

Nervously, Spencer hands him the letter he’d couriered across the city so carefully. He’d taken care to open it neatly with his letter opener but the return address on the back has been stamped at a crooked angle, and it bothers him every time he notices it. He can’t stop looking at it now as he taps his fingers anxiously against his leg in the pattern of the Fibonacci sequence, a safe and familiar reassurance played out by his nervous fingers. He watches apprehensively as Hotch pulls the letter out of the envelope, unfolding it and skimming his eyes down the page, taking in the news Spencer’s been so anxious to share with him.

Diagnosis: Asperger’s Syndrome

God, it had been a long process. He’d had to seek out a doctor in DC who diagnosed adults, paid for all the consultations and diagnostics himself — his insurance certainly wouldn’t cover it, not that he’d feel comfortable using his cushy FBI insurance for something so personal anyway — and the whole process had taken far longer than he’d expected. Finally, though, the envelope had arrived in the mail, and he officially had a diagnosis. 

Of course, he’d had his suspicions for years, especially after one of his professors during his second PhD had casually asked whether he’d ever been tested, planting a seed in his brain that led to many late nights in the library, reading all the literature available to him. It’s why he’d found it strange that it had felt so validating to finally receive that letter in the post. But it had.

The label made sense, and now that he had a diagnosis from a medical professional he felt comfortable to share it with others; he’d been far too paranoid about being questioned, not being believed or lectured about the evils of self-diagnosis no matter how he was confident in himself. He didn’t tend to be an insecure or self-conscious person, but after years of bullying and trauma surrounding what he now knew for sure to be his autistic traits, he couldn’t help but feel almost protective of his affirming label. 

Now though, it’s an irrefutable statement. Dr Spencer Reid has autism, and the first person he wants to tell is Hotch.

“I had no idea you were getting tested, Reid,” Hotch says, a hint of surprise bleeding into his voice. “Is there any specific reason you wanted to share this with me?”

“Well… I felt like someone on the team should know,” Spencer starts carefully, afraid to give too much of himself away, “and I thought that someone in a leadership position was the best option. Gideon has never been very… supportive of my autistic traits or behaviour, so I thought that you— that you would be the best option.” He feels awkward, fidgeting in his chair as he watches Hotch’s serious face and kind eyes absorb the information. 

“That trust in me means a lot, Reid,” he says, a rare smile making its way onto his face. In that moment, Spencer knows he made the right decision. “How can I make things easier for you? Is there anything you need me to be doing differently?”

“Uh—” He hadn’t really been anticipating that question and it catches him off guard: he’d predicted a quick nod of acknowledgement, a request to photocopy the letter so it can be put on file followed by a swift dismissal, but the letter is now sitting on his side of the desk: clearly, Hotch intends on keeping this between them. This is far from what he expected.

“Why don’t you start by telling me about autism and how it might affect your work?” Hotch corrects himself, recognising quickly Spencer’s need for specifics. “I’ll admit I don’t know much beyond some probably rather unhelpful stereotypes.”

Spencer nods. He can answer that question. “As everyone knows I often go off on tangents,” he begins, “and that’s because my special interests — or hyperfixations — often coincide with our work, so I know a lot about the topics we’re investigating. If I do that, just redirect me to the case and I’ll be fine. It’s also really hard for me to have to present myself in a certain way all the time. Vocal stims and gestures are the most satisfying to me but I often have to mask them, which I’ve never been very good at anyway, and it’s fairly exhausting. That’s why I often excuse myself; I go to the bathroom or a secluded hallway and stim on my own. My doctor also told me I tend to overcompensate in social situations and over-perform emotion. Those are the basics, I guess, but it’s a very complex disorder and since it makes up me as a human being, I can’t exactly explain all of it in one conversation.”

“No, that’s fine, Reid, you’ve given me a good picture of what to expect, thank you.” Hotch smiles at him, fondness in the crinkles around his eyes and the softness invading his usually stern expression. “First of all, you never have to feel like you need to excuse yourself to stim. Do you think it would be helpful if we told the rest of the team so they know what to expect? I’m assuming vocal stims are saying certain words or making sounds…?”

Spencer nods. 

“Okay, so if you needed to do that we could just continue the conversation while you get it out of your system. Gestures certainly wouldn’t be a problem. How do you feel about that?”

He hadn’t really considered telling the rest of the team but it seemed sort of intimidating, like he’d be opening a vulnerable side of himself to people he didn’t even know that well. On the other hand, they’d all been so understanding of his quirks and odd behaviour so far without even knowing the reason behind it. He’d never once been made to feel the way he used to at school, forced to either pretend to be someone else completely or be isolated and ostracised. 

He settles for, “I’ll think about it.” 

“That’s fine. There’s no pressure,” Hotch assures him. “I’m very happy you told me, Reid. I hope you know you can come and talk to me about anything, whether it’s about this or something completely different.”

Spencer leaves his office with the letter back in his hands, no notes or copies having been made, feeling almost elated. Never in a million years would he have expected that to go so well. 

⭐️

He doesn’t really expect it to come up again. He’d told Hotch so that he could understand him a bit better, and also because Hotch had quickly assumed a protective, almost paternal role in his life and he wanted to share the piece of news with him whether he was leading his department or not. That was supposed to be it, though, he didn't think anything would materially change, especially since he decided not to tell the team about the diagnosis just yet.

But almost immediately after he’d told Hotch his diagnosis, his rambles began to be gently redirected back to the case, sometimes without him even noticing. He wasn’t rudely cut off by anyone anymore, Hotch always steering him back on course before anyone else can jump in and hurt Spencer’s feelings. It’s so… kind that it almost feels foreign, and he finds himself gravitating towards the older man more and more, sitting next to him on every jet journey and staying glued to his side during cases. 

His newfound protectiveness over Spencer is only demonstrated more clearly a few months after their conversation in Hotch’s office when they’re on their way to New Mexico for a case. The second he spots that the murder victims had all been found with different Fitzgerald quotes scrawled on sheets of paper found in their own personal notebooks, ripped out and left for investigating officers to find, he launches into an info-dump to rival info-dumps. 

He can’t help that literature is a special interest of his, made all the more intense by the fond childhood memories of reading to his mother in her bed. Fitzgerald had been her favourite author of the Modern Era, and he’d spent hours analysing significant passages in his novels as a child, so he starts explaining the literary merit of each of the quotes left at the crime scenes. 

Apparently, he doesn’t hear the first two times Hotch tries to direct him back on topic, but he hears it when Gideon shouts, “Spencer! Long and unnecessary tangents are not conducive to actually solving these cases. Get back on topic. Now.” He’s loud enough to briefly knock him back several decades to memories of his father screaming at his mother’s schizophrenic babbling, when she’d become convinced that the villains of her favourite novels were trying to break into the house.

Spencer stops mid-sentence and stares at Gideon, who is staring right back. Everyone’s watching the two awkwardly, but the short moment of silence is quickly broken by Hotch. “There is absolutely no need to be that rude, Jason,” he says disapprovingly, while he lays a hand on Spencer’s arm in a light, absent-minded sort of touch. “Reid may have been off-topic but he deserves respect just like everyone else on this team. Nobody needs to be shouted at like that.” He directs his attention back to Spencer. “Why don’t you tell us how those Fitzgerald quotes could help us solve the case, Reid?” 

He gives him an encouraging look, and when he looks around the jet, everyone else is, too. Carefully, he starts speaking again, a little afraid of being cut off again, but after a few sentences of relevant explanation he regains his momentum. It’s more than a little vindicating when it’s his ‘unnecessary tangent’ that ends up being the key to cracking the case. 

⭐️

Soon after Hotch’s split from Haley, he approaches Spencer one evening when they’re the only two left at the office with a dinner invitation. Within the hour, they walk into a nice, low-key Italian place in the city and take a seat in the far corner of the restaurant. 

“Is everything okay?” Spencer asks a little uncertainly, confused as to why his boss is suddenly taking him for dinner. 

“I had this idea almost as soon as you told me about your autism,” Hotch explains, knowing by now that preambles and niceties only frustrate Spencer instead of setting him at ease. “I wanted to take you out for dinner every week to try and give you a space to ramble about all your special interests and not feel like you have to mask around everyone. But when I was with Haley, all my personal time was obviously spent with her and Jack. Now, I have the time to dedicate to you and all the incredible knowledge you’re hoarding in that brain of yours.”

“Really?” Spencer asks excitedly. The idea of uninhibited space to talk about the recent knowledge he’s acquired and not have to feel insecure or worry about performing social skills he doesn’t see the point of is everything he’s ever wished for, and something so wonderful being provided by Hotch only makes it better. 

“Really.”

Spencer wastes no time. He dives right in. “I was just watching a documentary the other day about volcanoes and their ability to trigger lightning storms with their voltage,” he begins. “Basically, magma rises toward the volcano’s surface, its water rapidly turns to vapor, which shatters the molten rock into tiny particles and creates charged particles. When the ash plume erupts into the atmosphere, the densely packed particles collide, driven by momentum. Friction then affects their electrons, becoming electrically charged. Positively and negatively charged electrons separate in the ash plume which creates a charge imbalance that builds an electric charge strong enough to trigger a lightning storm.” 

“That’s incredible.”

“I know,” Spencer says excitedly. “If the ash plume rises high enough in the atmosphere ice forms, and when ice, hail, and supercooled liquid droplets collide, the rates of lightning explode, it’s crazy.”

They’re briefly interrupted by a waitress taking their orders, but as soon as she leaves, Hotch gets him to jump back in. “What about that lecture you attended last week… the literature of 18th Century England or something?”

“19th Century English Lit, yeah!” He’s so eager to finally share this with somebody who will genuinely listen to him, and he can’t help it when his arms start to flap excitedly. Remembering where he is, he doesn’t try to mask it, pin his arms to his sides and simply deal with and suppress the innate urge to stim, he lets his body do what it wants to. Instead of eliciting a strange, sideways look, Hotch just smiles fondly.  

“The lecturer had this fascinating theory on Dickens. I’ve always seen him as a pretty straight forward author of picaresque fiction, obviously combined with facets of melodrama. And it’s common knowledge that he was inspired by the novel of sensibility, of course. But I’d never thought about the stylistic and lexical choices in his works beyond standard analysis, and this lecturer went on a deep dive into his use of collocation and it opened my eyes…”

He spends the whole evening stimming to his heart’s content while detailing every current interest of his to Hotch, who simply listened intently while eating his meal slowly, dragging out the meal for as long as Spencer needed. “Let me give you a lift home,” Hotch insists after footing the bill, leading him out into the warm evening air.

“Oh, I don’t mind taking the metro,” he replies truthfully. 

“I know. But it would make me feel better to drop you home safely. It’s late and seeing you into your apartment building would give me peace of mind.”

“Sure,” Spencer agrees happily, he’s still buzzing from such a nice evening and the least he can do for Hotch is let him rest easy tonight, so he climbs into the passenger side of his car. A few minutes into the car ride home, he realises he should probably actually verbalise just how much he enjoyed dinner. “Thank you, Hotch. I don’t think anybody’s ever done something so nice for me before.”

“Don’t mention it, Spencer,” Hotch replies, smiling even though he doesn’t take his eyes off the road. Spencer very much likes it when Hotch uses his first name, and he’d been doing it all evening. He doesn’t really understand why it feels so nice, just that it makes him feel… special, maybe.

“Don’t mention it, Spencer,” he repeats, before freezing as he realises what he’s said. He’s got so used to not masking all evening, he’s not in the right rhythm and mindset to suppress the urge to repeat Hotch’s words. He’s been so nice the whole evening, the last thing Spencer wants is for Hotch to think he’s mocking him. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Hotch reassures him, tapping his arm lightly as he smiles encouragingly. 

“Don’t mention it, Spencer,” he says again, repeating it a few times in relief before the itch is satisfied. He really does have the best boss/friend in the whole world. There’s no doubt about that. 

⭐️

Rossi’s initial reaction to Spencer had admittedly been a bit rocky, and having Hotch undeniably on his side was the only thing that made those first few months bearable. He never let them go off on their own; never put Spencer in a position where he’d have to be alone with him. Gradually, though, Rossi adjusted to his quirks and he became almost as protective of Spencer as Hotch.

That doesn’t bode well for the local sheriff when they’re on a case in North Carolina. He’s been prickly since they arrived, being as stubborn and uncooperative as possible, slowing down their progress on actually solving the case, and Spencer’s noticed him being a little extra rude to him in particular. It doesn’t massively bother him — it’s not exactly like someone’s aversion to him is a novel concept — but he can feel some sort of tension coming from the others. It happens a lot more now that they know about his autism and are more aware of themselves and others.

He tries to ignore it the best he can; he puts his head down and focuses on the geographical profile, going wherever he’s sent. Besides, the sooner they solve this case the sooner they can get out of North Carolina and back to DC. On their third day on the case, he’s working quietly in their designated corner of the police department alongside Hotch and Rossi while the others are out investigating in various different places. It’s a nice environment, and even though both men are his superiors, he feels more relaxed in their company than in anybody else’s.

It’s a relatively pleasant morning — considering the whole trying to catch a brutal serial killer thing — until they need to ask the sheriff a question. He saunters over, a tense and angry expression on his face, and Spencer can’t help but feel a little off, the confusing tension in the air that Spencer can’t quite identify making him anxious in his inability to properly decipher it. “Gentlemen,” he says, already frustrated. Spencer suspects it’s a pride thing; not many police departments like being shown up enough to have the FBI called in.

Eager to know the answer to their question, Spencer’s the one to jump in and ask. “Sheriff, we were just wondering whether the town gets much traffic from the local university or—”

He’s cut off by the sneering, towering man. “I’m not taking any questions from your kind,” he says aggressively. 

“I’m sorry?” Spencer squeaks as Rossi and Hotch both prepare to say something in response.

The sheriff cuts them off before they can get their likely diplomatic and calming words out. “Homo retards aren’t welcome around here.”

“Hey!” Rossi shouts as he leaps out of the chair, grabbing him by the collar as he’s helped by the element of surprise. “You don’t fucking talk to Spencer like that, you hear me? Weak, cowardly men like you—”

“Dave,” Hotch says placatingly, putting a hand on his shoulder and diffusing the situation. “Listen, Sheriff, we are only here to help you. But if you can’t respect my agents then we’re going to have a problem. Either you’re civil to Dr Reid, or I’m reporting you to the NC Sheriff’s Association. You hear me?”

The sheriff’s pride is clearly wounded, but he at least nods before giving them all a scornful look and walking away. 

“We didn’t even get to ask the question,” Spencer says anxiously, suddenly feeling out of his depth, like he can’t quite get enough air. 

“Dave, try and get an answer,” Hotch directs, taking charge of the situation. “Spencer, come with me.” He takes him into a secluded hallway for a little privacy, sitting him down on the cool linoleum before sinking down next to him. “You’re okay.”

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” Spencer whispers over and over to himself as he rocks backwards and forwards, trying desperately to self-soothe.

“Do you want me to touch you?” Hotch asks. He’s been in enough of these situations with Spencer to know he’s usually in two very different headspaces: he either longingly craves the grounding touch of a hug or a hand on his back, or he needs complete space. He’s also learned that asking outright is the only way to get an direct answer. 

“Yes,” Spencer replies, before repeating it over and over again as he’s wrapped up in Hotch’s arms, head pressed against his chest, his hand pressing gently against the back of Spencer’s head. He starts to calm down as he manages to breathe to the heat of Hotch’s calm, steady heartbeat, the comforting touch of someone he trusts with his life also helping to bring him back down to earth. A good ten minutes after the altercation with the sheriff, he’s feeling much better and brings his head out of it’s safe cocoon between Hotch’s chest and hand. 

“Come on,” Hotch says kindly. “Let’s get back to the case, yeah? You can just sit and work quietly until you’re ready to hold a proper conversation again. How does that sound?”

Spencer nods tiredly, knowing that work will perk him back up again, and being surrounded by his team will make him feel safe, asshole sheriff or not.

⭐️

Over the years Hotch helps him through any hurdles that come his way, learning the exact nuances of Spencer’s characteristics and requirements, making sure to accommodate him in every way possible.

He brings an extra, super-soft sweater in his go-bag in case Spencer ever forgets his and needs something gentle on his skin but tight enough to make him feel secure. He buys him stimming toys, dropping them on Spencer’s desk before he even arrives at work and lets him use his office whenever the lights and noise of the bullpen get too much, drawing the blinds and giving him the space he needs. Rossi doesn’t even question it anymore when Hotch shows up with a stack of paperwork and moves into his office for the morning. 

It wasn’t until Hotch made a concerted effort to make his life easier that Spencer realised how hard it had been fighting through life on his own. So when he realises Hotch’s birthday is coming up, he decides he wants to show his gratitude. It’s never been easy for him to express emotions, especially since he’s never really found it rude when people don’t thank him, but he knows that for most neurotypical people, appreciation is important. 

So he talks it over with Derek and on Hotch’s birthday, he comes into work to see Spencer waiting in his office with balloons, a cake, a card, and a present. He’d spent hours trying to find the right words to explain how he feels, to find the right words to show Hotch just how much everything he’s done for him means, but eventually he’d settled on something simple:

Caroline B Cooney wrote: “I found my family. I found the right thing to do. I found my way home.” 

I found all of these things when I joined the BAU, but more specifically when I walked into your office, hands shaking, clasping a letter I’d been waiting for all my life. Thank you. 

Hotch reads it with tears in his eyes before taking in the cake, a classic birthday cake Spencer had bought at the store, the words “Happy Birthday Dad” written in blue icing. He didn’t really understand why the cake had stood out to him, or why he associated the word ‘dad’ with someone who wasn’t related to him at all, but he’d trusted his gut and with Derek’s cheerleading, he’d bought it. 

“Oh, Spencer,” Hotch says tearfully. “Can I hug you?”

Feeling only mildly uncomfortable at the visible display of emotion Spencer doesn’t know what to do with, he nods and steps into Hotch’s comforting embrace. “This means the world to me,” Hotch murmurs quietly as he stands, hugging Spencer for as long as the younger man can stand it. 

Spencer’s still not completely sure why he’s managed to make him so emotional, but at least he can trust that it’s a good thing, that Hotch is happy and pleased and reassured. And if he can make him feel even a smidgen as happy as Hotch has made Spencer over the years, well. He’ll consider his long and boring trip into the city to buy the cake, present and card worth it.

Quick Note: Spencer is diagnosed with Asperger’s because that part of the fic is set in 2005. These days he would be diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @strippersenseii

[ahkaahshi]

jujutsu kaisen x off-duty looks [hcs]

characters: getou suguru, gojou satoru, chōsō, nanami kento

genre: freeform (this is just me going off on a tangent about a topic and characters I love)

warning(s): n/a

overview: an analysis of potential looks some of our fav jjk men could be servin after hours that reeks of my personal aesthetic and was fueled by this ask

notes: this should really be called jjk x runway fashion with the looks I picked lol. anyway, I'm gonna tag my fellow chōsō lover whose goth boyfie chōsō description gave me inspiration @wasabito​, my fellow fashionistas @mi-yams​ + @osamusmiya​ and my two homies I discussed my ideas with to make sure they weren't too insane @miya-whore​ + @sunascamroll. ty my loves ❤️

you are here ⭐︎ PART 2 ⭐︎ PART 3

GETOU SUGURU -> structure? who is she?

getou is a comfy king and doesn’t wanna have his movement restricted by structured garments! hell no! when he’s not murdering the general population, he’s most likely chillin in layer upon layer of long, flowing pieces that just accentuate his tall figure and make him look even more dominating tbh. since he usually dresses in all black, his looks consist of a variety of different materials/finishes just to create some surface interest because there’s not much happening in terms of colors. adds jewel tones (purples, greens, and reds) or a patterned piece to contrast the sea of darkness that is his outfit from time to time. necklaces are his go to accessories when he wants to be extra and they make him look real pretty n soft. his boots may seem simple but they’re still made for stomping. don't underestimate him since he could take a mf out without even taking a step.

featured designers/brands: yohji yamamoto, louis vuitton, berluti

GOJOU SATORU -> yes he’s actually older than nanami is!

is that a high school student? no! that’s gojou satoru! his style is youthful and somewhat playful because he wants to be hip really doesn’t take a lot of things that seriously and likes to mix up his wardrobe. while he often sticks to neutral color palettes, he does enjoy dressing up in cute pastel looks to brighten his day a bit more and make himself look like even more of a dream. another king who enjoys unrestricted movement with relaxed fits made of comfortable materials! is naturally attracted to shiny things so it’s no surprise he enjoys decking those pretty fingers of his out in rings whenever he has the chance (plus he likes the sound they make against anything he holds). completes his look with a fresh pair of sneakers that won't slow him down if he suddenly has to kick a special grade’s ass. but we all know that's no biggie for him anyway.

featured designers/brands: louis vuitton, converse, adidas

CHŌSŌ -> a techwear king

from a distance, chōsō may just look like a man who’s trying really hard to be cozy beneath all his layers. and that’s partially true! however, he piles clothes on with intent! although he’s a no frills kinda guy, he finds comfort in all the features of techwear because every one of them is ✨functional✨ you’ll never have to worry about carrying a bag again with the pocket palooza happening on his body! but seriously, the man knows how to pull off baggy clothes, that’s for sure, and he does it with the help of industrial belts or straps that make his waist look snatched and his legs look hot. since he has an affinity for the nighttime, he enjoys blending in with blacks or grays, but he’s not opposed to throwing a shock of white, yellow, red, or electric blue into his looks with an accessory or by incorporating it into one of his many layers. and, of course, he finishes off every outfit with a pair of platform combat boots since he’s always ready to throw down and wants to look good while doing it (like he has to try pfft).

featured designers/brands: louis vuitton, virgil abloh/off-white, doc martens, nike, adidas

NANAMI KENTO -> all his outfits are made of husband material

if there’s one thing nanami knows, it’s how to WORK a business look, even after hours! once he’s clocked out though, he tends to favor more relaxed silhouettes and materials, swapping his heavily structured suits for garments with just a tad more ease and drape. because of his serious and to the point personality, it often comes as a surprise that he takes his looks just as seriously and is always keen to find ways he can elevate them (which explains his luxury belt collection that he subtly flexes on everyone). he prefers warm, neutral tones such as browns, grays, and navy but isn’t opposed to adding a dash of pastels or even silky, peachy hues to complement his skin tone. dress boots are the way to go for him since they’re classy but also demand attention with the way he wears em. every time the group hangs out after work, he always gets complimented on his fits (as he should), and often has pictures taken of him by fashion photographers on the street since he looks runway ready at all times.

featured designers/brands: dior, louis vuitton, dunhill, gucci, vetements, berluti