#compromise is healthy in a relationship

[high-key-satan-low-key-satanic]

Getting together

Shiemi : I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives.

Yukio : I wake up at 4:30 AM every day to train.

Shiemi : I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives.

[pratchettquotes]

"But that's the difficulty," said Tiffany. "I don't really want options. I know what I want to do. I enjoy my work, I really do." This last word came out as a squeal. "I just wish Preston could be with me," she added quietly. "Not here in the city."

"But you tell me he is training to be a doctor," said Mrs. Proust. "And he loves his work. You wouldn't want him to give that up for you, now would you? So don't worry so much. Think yourself lucky and don't run ahead of the world. There is a saying, don't push the river. Although of course, in Ankh-Morpork you can push very hard," she added with a cackle.

Terry Pratchett, The Shepherd's Crown

[raining-its-pouring]

"He wants to be known outside of Moon’s shadow but makes little to no effort (that we know of) talking to the larger iterator population outside of anonymous chat rooms" is a bit of a self-contradictory statement itself, don't you think?

I can’t tell if you’re agreeing with me or not, but I wasn’t trying to say that he completely rejects all company or anything. That specific point was meant to highlight how he wants to establish himself outside of Moon’s shadow, but doesn’t seem to take the steps to make connections as his actual self. Part of that is because he’s discussing taboo ideas, but considering it seems to be the only contact he makes (outside of SRS) to the wider iterator population, it doesn’t seem like they know Five Pebbles that much at all. They don’t know anything about him outside of what he shares as himself (which is very little) and the fact that he’s connected to Moon. Which only serves to keep him in Moon’s shadow.

[internetminestrone]

Reading fanfic today and thinking about the stories I read when I was a teenager and the parts that I thought were semi-normal.

- mc having literally no self esteem. I’m not talking about low self esteem I’m talking about none. They think they are a dirt person.

- anxiety and panic off the charts on a normal day. Any minor hiccup causes an emotional tsunami.

- no realistically healthy relationships. I couldn’t imagine these people being friends let alone able to sustain a relationship that lasts years!

- what is healthy communication with a significant or potentially significant other? Couldn’t say.

- no strong and practical support systems.

- no meaningful friendships.

- no navigating the part of the dating phase where you have to have tough conversations with your partner and you don’t agree on everything.

- no two people maintaining many parts of their lives they had before meeting each other.

I love fanfic! I love the fantasy and escapism of all of it. I love diving into peoples worlds and exploring their minds and creativity. But I guess sometimes, and even when I reread my own work i feel this too, my heart hurts for the teen or young adult just getting into it who doesn’t know much about real life or whatever. Because I think to them (and by them I mean the old me) it sort of is a kind of glimpse to that happily ever after.

And I fully believe lots of us will meet our person one day, but it may turn out to be more than one person. And maybe in order for your person and you to fit together like puzzle pieces you need to have hard conversations, learn a weird new hobby, and do some compromising.

Nobody should aspire to be like the millions of characters living life with any of the bullet points above. While some are out of our control sometimes they aren’t always. And they aren’t forever.

If we need to learn about healthy relationships, healthy communication, support systems, friendships etc. fanfic shouldn’t be the first place we run to. Which is should be obvious but based on dialogue or comments I come across sometimes, makes me worry it isn’t.

Anyways. Totally a ramble.

But shoutout to all the amazing fanfic writers out there, all those people working on original stories. I love you.

And to everyone out there wishing for some sort of happily ever after, don’t let the fantasy cloud your eyes from letting you have those rich, deep, and beautiful relationships life is all about. Even if they aren’t easy and maybe look different than you thought.

Be safe out there. And give a mental hug to your favorite fanfic character (or writer as a thank you) today. :)

[iguessitsjustme]

Mollie, a good person: I’m sorry, I don’t mean to bad mouth your girlfriend.

Me, yelling at my screen: I DO mean to bad mouth your girlfriend. She fucking SUCKS.

[insane-in-the-membranee]

Relationship advice please?

I started dating this Tumblr mutual in Jan 2024 he talked to me really nicely and gave me time for the 2 months everything was perfect uk but then March came and he doesn't give me time . He has University and also works so I give him his space but on the weekends aswell he doesn't talk much.

Well have you talked to him about it? If you haven't yet then you certainly should. Tell him how you feel and then see.

From his POV, it's understandable since he has uni + he works so maybe he wants his space or rest so he doesn't talk much but then again, if he can't handle being in a relationship along with managing all that then he shouldn't have entered into one.

So talk to him and see how he does from now on, if he still doesn't change or put in any effort then you should probably ask for a break and then use that to focus on yourself and try to figure things out. And then take your final decision.

Hope it helps!

[fivveweeks]

do you guys wanna hear my insane hassel x brassius x reader plot of course you do strap in and let me talk shit;

so this is like, technically a sequel AU after the Hassel x reader and Brassius x reader (i’m working on it!!!) nsfw oneshots, where a year or two has passed and you return to Paldea for the longterm bc of your job. Obviously you don’t remember the one night stands that well bc they were for fun, hopefully the idiots are happy but it’s nunya business about some strangers’ love life, so you go about your own

and that’s when you’re in Mesagoza and a tiny fomantis crashes into you by accident. and it won’t leave you alone after you kinda calmed it down

so you’re like “Wait, what do I do now. Who’s pokemon is this-“ until someone comes running to you in the distance, yelling apologies and when he gets closer-

It’s Brassius. The guy with the funny green hair and dramatic personality and it takes you a second or two to recognize but it strikes a chord in your memory. And him too, apparently, when he skids to a halt and goes, “it’s you!”

cue spiderman-meme pointing. cue a quick conversation of sorta catching up and to refresh your memory before he drags you off despite your protest, fomantis attached to your head like some fancy clown hat. Ten minutes later you both stop before a cafe table where Hassel is - oh he remembers too - gaping at you both, but mostly at you to be honest

(“So I take it that the confession went well, huh.” you say, and the blush that lights up on his cheeks is a familiar, lovely sight)

you spend the afternoon with them bc they insist on treating you to lunch (and thank you for your accidental interference and to apologize for the trouble they put you through before, which you don’t mind tbh it’s actually kinda funny looking back.) they’re married for over a year or two now, which is great, hell yeah! you’re super happy for them, congratulations, jesus christ i cannot believe you both knew each other for over a decade, practically lived together and only confessed bc of the incident, what the hell-

and unfortunately, no matter what you three try, the fomantis just doesn’t want to leave your side

why don’t you take care of it for the moment? Hassel suggests, which Brassius immediately lights up bc that is a fantastic idea! what says you, my dear? so after a discussion of pokemon expenses (I’ll take care of it, Brassius waves his hand. no need to concern yourself over it) you sorta? kinda agreed to a weekly visit to Artazon or Mesagoza so you and fomantis can check in with them

and so goes the weekly lunch visits where you kinda learn more about the eccentric couple? turns out Brassius is an expert with grass types and you spend hours listening to him talk about fertilizer mixes and how much water and attention you should give to a fomantis (the species is unfortunately one of the more difficult types to look after, wow). Hassel is also good with advice whenever Brassius has to attend important events. you learn the right way to cradle grass pokemon like toddlers and weeks later Brassius takes you to Alfonada so your fomantis can pick a pot for sunbathing

(and throughout the time spent together you find it lovely to just watch them both interact. Brassius and Hassel are obviously smitten towards each other and all the little things they do are just really nice to observe quietly. Individually too, you can definitely appreciate watching them enjoying themselves and being good at what they do, like whoa Brassius looks really nice in that open-collared shirt and the way he sometimes rocks his smoliv in his arms and dances with his pokemon is really endearing and cute)

and then bc fomantis (you don’t give it a name bc it’s not technically yours but you might as well call it Big Baby from how clingy it is) starts to get acclimated you can probably start slowing down the visits to just once or twice a month. you’re kind of relieved that you’re getting the hang of this and won’t need to trouble Brassius too much now

except Brassius looks… a little moody? Upset? Disappointed when you both brought it up? or maybe you’re just looking too much into it?

but he doesn’t mention anything so your visits slow down in the end, and you take fomantis out to the forests and lakes to get enough exercise and sunlight, and honestly you’re just minding your own business but turns out god has other plans for you-

bc that’s when you stumble across a disturbed dragon habitat and now a Dreepy has accidentally attached to you.

deja vu, huh.

so now it’s Hassel’s turn to host the weekly meet ups bc turns out the man’s a dragon tamer, holy fucking shit, and rehabilitating a baby dragon is one of the most difficult things in the world without formal training. you do the same song and dance again and throw in outings to the wild where you both try to locate the scattered pod of Dragapults and Dragloaks. Brassius joins in when he has the time and somehow you three just start to have picnics together I guess. you’re not complaining tbh the both of them are a joy to spend time with

(and Hassel is really cute when he’s coaxing baby dragons? plus how calm he is when he’s calming down wild adults and knowledgeable he is in regards to the region and the care and concerns he has towards the endangered species- WOUGH he plays the guitar and piano too wtf is there anything this man can’t do???)

your schedule now develops into like, every one or two weeks you chill with either Hassel or Brassius and once a month or two the three of you hang out together. you hang until y’all actually find the dragon pod, but by now the Dreepy refuses to leave you so…

“I guess I’m responsible for a dragon and a plant now,” you shrug, not too upset. You’ve kinda warmed up to them by this point. you tell Brassius and Hassel they don’t have to keep paying for the expenses anymore, you’ll find a way to deal with it since you’re a trainer now. and they can free up most of their time now that they don’t have to keep babysitting you?

what you didn’t expect was to see the faint disappointment and crestfallen look on Hassel??? Like Brassius???? jesus, don’t be so sad, they can always grab lunch with you anytime, y’know, even if there’s no pokemon raising, just text you lmao they have your phone number anyways

which turns out to be the right thing to say bc now you’re getting invited to little art shows and outings occasionally now, and even dinners. that’s nice, you think, honestly they’re both lucky to have each other and maybe in some other life you probably would have dated either one of them but eh, you’re content where you’re at right now tbh, no biggie-

until a few weeks later they drop the bomb on you that they’ve been trying to hint at you for months now and do you want to date them, yes the both of them at the same time, Brassie looses his mind after our lunches now and HASS you TRAITOR says the man who blushes every time I bring them up when we k-

cue internal panic, some discussion about polyamory and expectations and stuff but… long story short, somehow you end up dating the both of them, now???

(you don’t find out one of them is a goddamn gym leader and the other an elite four until months later for some fucking reason, and you loose your shit inevitably bc NO WONDER YOU‘RE BOTH SO GOOD AT BATTLING, WHAT THE HELL)

(bonus chapter is where the both of them fuck you into the bed until the frame cracks, get that old men ass babey)

[jakedailyart]

The Path to a Healthy Relationship: Essential Guidelines for Nurturing a Loving Connection

Love, with all its complexities and subtleties, is an ever-evolving journey that requires continuous nurturing and understanding. The foundation of a healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, open communication, and a commitment to growing together. Here are some essential guidelines to help you nurture a strong and loving connection:

1. Practice Open and Honest Communication

Candid communication is vital for building trust and understanding in a relationship. Be willing to express your emotions, needs, and concerns openly, and encourage your partner to do the same. A willingness to be vulnerable can deepen your connection.

2. Be an Active Listener

Listen attentively to your partner's thoughts and feelings without judgment or interruption. Validate their emotions, offer support, and demonstrate that their words and experiences matter to you.

3. Embrace Compromise

Differences are a natural part of any relationship. Instead of allowing conflicts to create a divide, seek mutually acceptable compromises that reflect the needs and perspectives of both partners.

4. Value Individuality

While a shared life is a beautiful aspect of a relationship, it's equally important to embrace and celebrate your individual identities. Encourage one another to pursue personal interests and passions and to grow as individuals.

5. Keep the Flame of Romance Alive

Intimacy and romance play a key role in maintaining a strong connection. Surprise your partner with a heartfelt gesture, plan a romantic date, or simply spend quality time together enjoying each other's company.

6. Cultivate Trust

Trust is the cornerstone of a stable and fulfilling relationship. Be transparent, reliable, and true to your word. Address any concerns that may arise with understanding and empathy, and avoid behaviors that may erode trust.

7. Speak Their Love Language

Understanding and expressing love in a way that resonates with your partner can deepen your emotional bond. Learn their love language—be it acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, or receiving gifts—and make an effort to show your love in a way that speaks to their heart.

8. Grow Together

Life is full of changes and challenges. Embrace them as opportunities to learn and grow together. Support each other through life's ups and downs and adapt to new circumstances with grace and empathy.

9. Seek Support When Needed

It's okay to seek support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals if you're facing challenges in your relationship. Couples counseling can provide valuable insights and tools to help you navigate and overcome obstacles together.

10. Cherish the Small Moments

The beauty of a relationship often lies in the simple, everyday moments. Whether it's a smile exchanged over a cup of coffee, a heartfelt conversation, or a shared laugh, cherish these moments and the love they represent.

A healthy and loving relationship is a partnership that requires continuous effort and mutual respect. Remember that love is a journey, and it's the small acts of kindness, understanding, and love that create a lasting and fulfilling connection. Embrace the process and enjoy the journey together.

[taylortruther]

“yeah that is questionable, but most relationships deal with difficult or questionable stuff at times, so this is her choosing to share that part.” People like you Jaime and so on say this but I don’t get this because I am married for 6 years and never felt we were questionable or anything breakup worthy happened? If anything Joever shows that you shouldn’t compromise for anybody no matter how long you are with them.

idk i guess you're just better at relationships than the rest of us

[ninepentz]

Core values in relationships

You can find out who's worth your effort, attention, time, consideration, energy, by observing what their core values are.

All of that has an affect on how we feel about ourselves, so this is why we need to be careful of who we let in.

When you're around someone who doesn't listen to what you have to say, values opposite of what you value, has different/clashing goals, or if they constantly ruin your vibe when you're around them. That would be someone you don't share core values with.

So example, if they like to argue things out while you like to talk things out, depending on how likely they are to compromise with you says a lot about how much of yourself you should invest into them.

I feel like if they can't respect you in the most basic/necessary ways, then they aren't your person. Relationship or friendship wise. The compromising part is an important quality to look out for, other wise you could get stuck with a selfish ignorant person who only cares about their own needs/well being and expects you to change yourself to make them comfortable. Some people don't change. So imo, it's smart to check if your core values align with someone else's before you allow them into your sacred space.

From experience dealing with toxic people changed me so much, it made me bitter, nasty, insecure, weaker, even affected my health.

So when you understand that some people would rather see you embarrassing yourself, angry, sad, losing in life, basically in any way you validate their ego, than you know who not to associate with.

It's like a shark and bunny, they have nothing in common. They can never help each other bc they aren't of the same species, don't think, live, breathe the same. One would die in the water, while the other would die on dry land.

There is no reason for them to even be in the same room. Nothing would come from that relationship. The same applies in our relationships, some people will waste all your time, energy, life, if you let them. So recognize when people are no good for you or your future and keep them at a distance. Don't let them affect you mentally, emotionally or occupy any space in your mind. Esp for us anxious, sensitive, overthinkers.

✨️Nine of Pentacles✨️

[the-healing-mindset]

Oftentimes when we hear the term "non-negotiable", it is referring to the "non-negotiables" of dating. However, there are also things that should be non-negotiable in your daily life in relation to yourself.

[99-98]

I think a healthy happy relationship has a lot to do with what the two of you have been through together to get to where you are now. What you did to get there. How you got there. How you treated each other during that time. What you were will to sacrifice and compromise for each other. Good honest relationships are so rare to find and I believe building a strong friendship before the whole commitment helps so so much!

Ac

[captainjunglegym]

Why would you not eat carbs? Do you hate joy???????

haha no i just have an eating disorder so yes i guess do medically hate joy when it comes from food 😂❤️

[undyinglantern]

“very allosexual scenario” I mean the comment about there being no love there. Like yeah man I feel no love toward the act of sex literally always. All (hypothetical) sex is done without love

[thefaultinoursprinkles]

i know a lot of you people are teenagers but hollllyyyy shit you have such skewed views of what constitutes a normal and appropriate human reaction

[sodrippy]

theyre trying to give me relationship advice BROTHER LOOK INWARDS‼️‼️