#congrats ur doing it right

[purpledisastertwin900]

Look, idk what tween or even teen needs to hear this

But you will get better at being yourself.

In like, 3-4 years, you’re gonna experience and learn and see so much, and you’re gonna grow into yourself in ways you had no idea you were going to.

Someday, dressing the way you want will be easier, talking/laughing/singing will be easier, you’ll be funnier without having to work at it so hard, you’re gonna figure out what you like and don’t like, you’re gonna be good at That Thing that u wanna be good at, you’re gonna be able to try the stuff u wanna try, learn the stuff u wanna learn and experiment with your personality and style and while you won’t “find yourself” in 3-4 years you’re gonna get a good start. And yeah, you may hate your smile, your laugh, your haircut, and your circumstances right now, but one day you will wake up in a world that you created, that’s specific to YOU and YOUR dreams and you’re gonna think damn. I’m actually fine as hell. You will love you.

Growing up will get easier and more fun-it’s supposed to be awkward and weird right now. You’re doing it absolutely right <3

[beansprean]

guillermo? hurting someone on purpose because they hurt him on accident? really truly earning his title as king of good communication

My Familiar’s Ghost part 71

Masterpost

See the latest pages on Patreon!

(ID in alt and under cut)

ID: 1a. Knees up of Guillermo standing by the coffin, the edge of Nandor's shoulder close up in the foreground. The pillow-loaded settee and closed crypt door are lit warmly behind. Guillermo looks down with a scowl, face darkened by shadow, lips peeling back from new fangs as his shaking hands clench into fists at his side. After a moment of silence, he says, '...I gave you a thousand chances, Nandor.' 1b. Close up on Guillermo as he looks up, tears streaking down his face and eyes iced over into a glowing platinum gold. He glares as hard as he is capable of, snarling out cruelly, 'But I don't need you. I never did.' The background has turned solid black with a white starburst lashing out in the direction of Guillermo's words. 1c. Shoulders up of Nandor from the back on a mottled dark red background, still turned away from Guillermo. From offscreen, Guillermo spits, 'Still nothing to say?' Nandor visibly straightens, steeling himself. 1d. Repeat, slightly closer, as Nandor turns to face Guillermo and the viewer at last. Tears are running down his face and clearly have been for a while, eyes flashing pinkish-red as he glares at Guillermo and snarls, 'I have many things I would like to say to you.'

2a. Reverse shot, the edge of Nandor's shoulder and hair close up and blurred in the foreground as he looms over Guillermo. Guillermo, waist up, takes an instinctual step back, left fist rising up slightly in defense as he struggles to maintain his glare. The background is in focus behind him, the door getting closer. Nandor advances, continuing, 'Namely...' 2b. Shoulders up of both in profile as Nandor leans close, dark red background becoming splattered with lighter red. He glares icily at Guillermo with their noses less than an inch apart, a tear still pooled in his eye, and hisses, 'Get out.' His speech bubble is black with white text. Guillermo leans back, angry expression dropped for one of fear and confusion.

3a. Low shot from the hallway outside Nandor's room as the door suddenly crashes open, Guillermo flying out backwards as if pushed and smashing into the opposite wall, snapping the legs on a hall table and sending books and candles flying everywhere. 3b. Low shot angled down the hallway as Guillermo slams into the floor on his stomach, table collapsing down the wall behind him. Blood spurts out between his clenched fangs as he bites his tongue on impact, new glasses flying off his face and bouncing to the floor. 3b. Zoom out to wide. There is a visible crash site against the wall where Guillermo was thrown, dust and drywall settling on him, the floor, and the smashed chunks of the table and its contents. Guillermo sits up on his hands and knees and slips his glasses back on, a trail of blood dribbling down his chin and one lapel pin snapped loose and dangling from his collar. He looks over toward Nandor's room only to see the door slam definitively shut, sending the chandelier rocking in the background. /end ID

[rainbowtvz]

the shipping with canon minors thing quite literally was true, took you a year to finally drop them, allegedly, and has 0 to do with antiblack white people being upset over you saying they can't use the aave word simp anymore because unless theres a second party out there saying shit, the "rumor" came from me and it was a fact at the start.

"i didn't do that except i did but it's false!" like cmon

anyway- more screenshots from this rando showing them harassing me, being ageist, and ableist.

like genuinely how am i supposed to take this interaction in any kind of good faith when they were hostile and ageist out the gate and then ended up being ableist to me by indirectly calling me stupid. just call me the r slur instead if you're gonna do that.

[philhoffman]

This week’s Monday Philm is one of the most fun movies ever, Mission: Impossible III (2006). Action movies aren’t my favorite, JJ Abrams isn’t the most beloved director ever, the shaking/blurry camera and lens flares make it hard to see what is happening at all times—and yet, so fucking fun.

The hardest cold open in history. It’s gotta be, right? Part of what makes this movie so great is that Phil is clearly having the time of his life. It’s objectively hilarious that he went from winning the Oscar for Capote to immediately being in this big Hollywood action star blockbuster. And he didn’t do anything else like it again. It’s so fun seeing him play Tom Cruise playing himself and doing (most of) his own stunts—especially the helicopter, knowing it made him violently ill after every take 😭

Something I think about a lot in relation to PSH’s characters is that he gives them such life, his films often feel like they’re dropping in on a very real person for a short time. Like they’ve existed before the timeline of the movie and they will continue living their life after it ends (well, except for a few unlucky guys)—we’re just getting a glimpse of that life. Not sure any character embodies that better than Owen Davian. He’s just so bored. All of this Rabbit’s Foot business and spy stuff is very exciting and urgent and intense for Ethan Hunt and the IMF (not the International Monetary Fund) and everyone else. But Davian, who is kidnapped by a clone of himself in a Vatican bathroom then held out the cargo bay doors of a jet tens of thousands of feet above the ground, can’t be bothered. He blinks awake at his captors, he teases them, he gets all the information he needs from a single name. He shakes his hand out after throwing a punch because it hurts, he stumbles a bit over his own feet while threatening Julia, he drags Hunt lazily across the floor. Davian’s got other things on his mind, more important matters. These are Tom Cruise’s movies, of course, so Davian could never win, but until then this is absolutely just another Tuesday in his mind.

I’d love to see all the different ways they shot the airplane scene. We know from one of the trailers that there’s another take in which he plays it softer than the final cut—still threatening, but invested, almost giddy. It would be awesome to see any other alternate approaches.

I also love the little moments—the brute force with which he grabs a drink from the waiter’s tray, the trademark way he gently, just barely touches Maggie Q’s face when her character Zhen Lei spills the wine on his shirt (the same gesture he makes to Charlie in Scent of a Woman!), his imitation of Tom Cruise right after the mask swap when talking to Luther. 

The first time I watched MI3 was last summer with my family, and it was such an unexpectedly great treat that we all enjoyed it. I remember thinking, this is exactly the kind of movie people are talking about when they say Philip Seymour Hoffman takes a good movie and makes it phenomenal. There will always be action movies, Hollywood will always churn them out, no matter who’s in them. MI3 is a fine movie. But then he shows up and BAM, it’s a standout, it’s something people remember. This is the movie that makes it a joy to see PSH on screen, for the casual movie buff and for his diehard fans. He made things better for anyone.

[flovverworks]

CHLOE BDAY HIP HIP HURRAY

[thedeadthree]

multiples of five for viktor and an oc of your choice please! 💕

ROSIIEEE hii! i hope your doing well dear! <3 THATS MY DEAR BOY. ive had him for EONS he means the world to me AHH. hmm and for the second one in honor of tlou releasing today on hbo! i'll introduce alaia! <3

OC ASK GAME

5. WHAT WAS AN OCS FIRST SLOW DANCE SONG?

i would say MODUS by joji would be a cute first slow dance song for him! i would say first slow dance parter would go to the lucky dear ness (or nessie as he likes to call her <3 shes aj @jendoe's girlie!)! for a goood chunk of his life slow dances wigged him out u know? it's what his parents did at galas, and furthermore, its what people in committed relationships do u know? so it would take a "love of their life" sort to sway prince skittish of long term relationships <3

10. WHICH OC IS THE BIGGEST ROMANTIC?

to be honest i think until nessie he didn't think himself as much of a romantic? and after they become an item (nessie will likely have to go "LISTENN BUB I THINK UR NEAT" or something like that jksankjn bc for all of his banter and etc etc dear boy was like UHH when it came to the art of courting ahjsabjx). but he'll try his best! its like watching a baby dear learn how to walk which is precious but also PRIME opportunity for teasing (affectionate). wanted to be in love but didn't think it was for him u know?

15. WHICH OC HAS THE MOST FRIENDS?

he's a social butterfly my dear boy sure is! of course soap and willa and Garrick and ghost begrudgingly are the besties and price and isi are like parental figures to him <3. radolfo and alejandro (dad wars between him and price kajnsj their time together in that cell was all the convincing ale needed that vik was to be his son jjhsjh) became instant besties of his <3. he has a number of close friends and fringe acquaintances as well! though the one who will hold the candle as his friend of all friends for him would be his late brother aldric <3

20. WHICH OC GETS CRUSHES THE EASIEST?

vik gets crushes like his dogs track mud in his house... ALL THE TIME. the essence of the "falls in love with a new person everyday." hehe <3 he took the cake for that until he met *COUGH*!

25. WHICH OC IS THE MOST PRACTICAL?

hES TrYinG hIS BeST his upbringing he's a nepo baby and his tendency towards the dramatic (stubs his toe? shakespearean tragedy.) he makes an effort for practicality but like his mannerisms in the romantic department its like watching a deer learn how to walk <3 viktor "how much does a banana cost? $50?" mason <3

30. WHICH OC DRESSES THE BEST? THE WORST?

no greater slight he could make to his mother if he didn't put thought into his sense of style bjsbjd and thank the heavens for aldric and his IMMACULATE TASTE bc i am confident dear boy would have considered joggers and a t-shirt as a suitable formal wear jankxdk. he learned all he knows from him! <3

35. WHICH OC PRONOUNCES IT MEH-MEH INSTEAD OF MEME?

his grandma on his moms side in france pronounced it as meh-meh and as a like seven he used to say it that way until aldric told him its MEME not meh-meh habjsbj (after waiting EONS until vik was fifteen to tell him DARN OLDER SIBLINGS). now, its just around graves to get on his nerves <3. he's a twerp!

40. IF ALL YOUR OCS WERE TO GET INTO A GIANT, MCU STYLE FIGHT WHO WOULD WIN?

he survives only bc select clowns would find his "hot mess with a heart of gold" nature endearing <3 he's beelining for roman, ayrenn, vindamea and enya the moment he sees them! strong badass ladies who can break his neck like a twig? AND upon them knowing him for five minutes if anyone touched a hair on his head they'd zero everyone on the scene hehe <3 he's drinking mead with baelor afterwards and running for the HILLS shrieking and tears in his eyes seeing una on the back of the cannibal <3 its fun!

5. WHAT WAS AN OCS FIRST SLOW DANCE SONG?

i think maybe not a first slow dance song but something for a first emotional moment where the bleakness of the post apocalyptic landscape of the world (which members of her family may or may not have been responsible for the outbreak) and its really getting to her.. i think of DEAL ME by MeLoveMeAlot ft KÅIKÅI? the "you can't kill me I'm alive / you gotta deal me i'm alive ... we all know no paradise." i think would be lovely for her in that moment u know? like a hold her while she sways a bit sort of post panic attack moment?

10. WHICH OC IS THE BIGGEST ROMANTIC?

she was the child of seattle socialites and so the notion of romantics came from her admirers verses from her u know? but! she is for sure with the love language of gifting as that was the way she saw her parents expressing their affections and what people around her would do for her. so sort of a romantic but? not really?

15. WHICH OC HAS THE MOST FRIENDS?

i think between her and viktor she would have more friends but none of them she would consider close, acquaintances at best u know? a lot of her friendships in seattle were superficial. a lot of them were more so to have a connection to her name? to say they knew the family? she was little when the outbreak hit the friends she had and their parents it was like that? she needs friends i am PLEADING. these days its easier for her to have dalliances and acquaintances <3

20. WHICH OC GETS CRUSHES THE EASIEST?

crushes? in the year of our lord 2023 post outbreak? not on her life <3 she does have more than a few admirers though in higher circles and in leaving the comforts of home traversing the landscape <3.

25. WHICH OC IS THE MOST PRACTICAL?

alaia actually would have that over dear boy vik! i am still working things out (im doing lore diving as im watching the show rn <3) her step father before the outbreak was a neurosurgeon and he was looking into understanding the outbreak. on her defying her dads wishes and finding survivors outside of FEDRA the things she learned from him and the people around her she took to things rather well!

30. WHICH OC DRESSES THE BEST? THE WORST?

the outbreak broke out in 2003 i believe right? y2k in the post apocalyptic pnw/us fashion icon besties! luxury clothing from the 2000s and 90s inherited from her family! it may be the end times but that didn't mean she had to stop dressing cute!

35. WHICH OC PRONOUNCES IT MEH-MEH INSTEAD OF MEME?

sending memes? in the year of our lord 2023 in a post apocalyptic era? shes asking "huh?" habjwbdjbj in a no-outbreak au, dear girl was pronounces it as memes! <3 or nuisances <3 (rich people u know?)

40. IF ALL YOUR OCS WERE TO GET INTO A GIANT, MCU STYLE FIGHT WHO WOULD WIN?

oh shes not fighting jkanknw <3 fighting? in these chanel boots? she wouldn't dare! she and narcissa and sybille are sipping champagne as the fighting rages!! she would likely if she must use ye olde charm and request damiano to protect her (AND HE OBLIGES *cough* clown <3 but also love that for her! and he's valid for it!) and that's how she walks out of the conflict without a scratch <3

[possum-tooth]

happy wednesday i cannot wait until friday ~9p <3

[justaholeinmysoul]

Despite what you think of Israel the left and the Internet being on the side of Iran, houti, isis, hamas, ayatollah etc and asking Israel to just NOT defend itself even in case of attack(as in stop being armed until there's no more idf or weapons not in this particular case) Is absolutely bollocks like are yall serious? ??

[yongseungkim]

.

[sl33pyperson]

i simply want darcel to burn from their own lack of taking things as far as they possibly can and everything in their failed ambition biting them back

[rosyblooom]

love (to hate) u | ln4 smau

PAIRING: lando norris x fem!reader A/N: hey! love this idea sm!! hope it's as u imagined :)

Twitch

Twitter

Instagram

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, oscarpiastri, maxfewtrell and 121,004 others

yourusername me and my bestie 🥰❤️ (fyi max this is OUR cat now)

view all 1,489 comments

username so what i'm seeing is if i punch lando we'll be besties??

username I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE (sry lan) username bye💀💀

landonorris What a loser...

landonorris A cat is your best friend now?🤣

yourusername wdym everybody knows it's cats>everyone else>lando 🤭 username damn😭 username take a shot everytime lando and y/n make digs at each other, i dare you username lol no thanks i choose life

username AHH BOTH OF YOU ARE CUTE AF LYYY <333

maxfewtrell You mean my cat?

yourusername **OUR cat 🔫🙂

landonorris posted to his story!

[ caption: Best night with the gang ❤️ ]

[ tagged: maxfewtrell + more ]

Twitter

f1gossipofficial

liked by username, username, username and 11,903 others

f1gossipofficial Y/N L/N was spotted today by fans attending the Australia Grand Prix alongside Oscar Piastri. Despite her and Lando Norris famously not getting along, it comes as quite a surprise to see her accompanying his teammate, especially considering their shared friend circles.

Who knows, maybe there's a relationship announcement on the horizon?👀

view all 919 comments

username Y/N 100% KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING LOOL

username she's so 😭 still gonna stan tho !!

username bruh they're literally friends

username oscar and y/n??? i would like to see it pls🙂‍↕️

username imagine having ur number 1 opp not only in the paddock but also in ur fucking garage like💀

username such nasty work omfg

username BREAKING MY SILENCE ‼️ they have the opportunity to pull the biggest enemies to lovers in todays day and age if they rlly wanted to👀

username lord there y'all go again... username i want whatever the hell u're fucking smoking cause what😀

username wait did he break up with lily???

yourusername posted to her story!

[ caption: why would a man be there?? 🤨]

[ tagged: landonorris ]

Twitter

Instagram

landonorris posted to his story!

[ caption: My lucky charm ❤️🙏 ]

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, maxfewtrell and 509,886 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername alright fun's over, congrats bby xxx (happy now oscar?)

view all 7,942 comments

oscarpiastri As you can all see, we are NOT dating

yourusername oscar i'm sry😭😭 oscarpiastri 😑 username aw man...😞

username Y'ALL ARE GOING TO FUCKING JAIL

landonorris Us 🤝 the drama

yourusername 🤭🩷 username match made in fucking hell😭 you guys are SICK

username WAIT WHAT? lemme move my bang and read this shit again cause wtf

username oh! 😀

username s(he) be(lie)ve(d)😓

username theyre both liars smh

username I TRUSTED YOU😭💔

username this whole time ppl were clowning me and i was right all along?🧍‍♀️IVE BEEN SAYING THERE'S SEXUAL TENSION OMFG

username on behalf of literally everyone i'd like to apologise babe. shoulda never doubted you x username lando and y/n need to apologise to u cause they played us all🤡

username you guys are fake as shit, but ig you're cute or whatever🙄

0:09 ㅇ──────────── 3:17

[planetpiastri]

pairing: oscar piastri x fem!reader [no faceclaim] summary: you're a meme rapper with a cult following on youtube, and oscar is always in your comments, but it isn't until you release your first single that everyone puts two and two together. notes: this is one of the very first requests i ever received, and finally FINALLY it is done!! we are so back

liked by oscarpiastri, patriciooward, and others

ynusername guys if i wrote a song about dino nuggets would you unfollow me be honest

view all 1,458 comments

username1 yeah

ynusername 😔

oscarpiastri no

ynusername 😁

username2 maybe

ynusername i'm getting mixed signals

oscarpiastri

liked by ynusername, landonorris, and 502,876 others

oscarpiastri Oscar goes outside: Japan edition

view all 8,482 comments

username3 you're not even outside in any of these pictures oscar what

landonorris who are we getting dinner with, young man? 🤨

oscarpiastri My mum 😊 landonorris yeah right

username4 omg any yn fans in the comments?? mother liked the post 👀

username5 yeah they follow each other lol i don't think they've ever met though username6 they've definitely interacted, but yeah i think they're just like online acquaintances haha

ynusername nice berries mate

oscarpiastri Thanks, I've heard that before

liked by ynusername, oscarpiastri, and 251,876 others

mclaren Happy Birthday Oscar! 🥳

view all 7,654 comments

username7 guys why's oscar kinda...

username8 WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??

oscarpiastri 😁😁😁

ynusername happy birthday. oscarpiastri Ok that's a lot of negative energy please step back username9 help these interactions are always so random??

username10 oscar's waist looking SNATCHED omg

username11 guys is this a safe space for me to confess something?

landonorris no, keep it to yourself

ynusername

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, and others

ynusername finally releasing a single woohoo!! 'bark bark' coming out april 19th on spotify and apple music ^-^

view all 1,874 comments

username12 OMG YESSSS

username13 WHAT YN THIS IS SO EXCITING!!!! CONGRATS!!!!!

oscarpiastri What's it about

ynusername you have to stream the song and find out silly oscarpiastri Is it about me ynusername oh my god

ynusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and others

ynusername the type of face you'd go to war for (look past the camera, he's shy)

view all 2,054 comments

landonorris shucks, i'm blushing

ynusername i am so obviously not talking about you

username14 NEW MUSIC WHEN??

ynusername the single JUST came out CHILL!

username15 the last slide??

username16 new music hint? ynusername no that's just me talking about oscar and lando landonorris ....which one am i? ynusername i literally called you a slut nine times in suzuka username17 so oscar is lust???? oscarpiastri Thank you Barbie!!

liked by mclaren, ynusername, and 516,392 others

oscarpiastri Busy busy week, but glad the secret's out. My girlfriend is cooler and funnier than yours, by the way.

view all 7,990 comments

ynusername you're so hot i am gnawing at the bars of my enclosure

ynusername the hair?? the smile?? the grabbable waist?? WOW!!

ynusername gonna write another song about you

ynusername if i saw you in the street i'd catcall you

ynusername i want you.

oscarpiastri I love you too

username18 FKSDHJGLKHDJG IM SO HAPPY YN CAN BE UNHINGED AND CRAZY NOW GOOD FOR HER GOOD FOR THEM!!

request: hiiii babe! i love ur account! i was wondering if u could do an oscar piastri x meme rapper gf with an @addy_kate fc. like shes actually really funny and her music is oddly good (like tmg).

tagging: @thearchieves @sheridamn @nikfigueiredo @charlig123456789 @ilove-tswizzle @aandreea2005 @sideboobrry @vellicora @eire-the-egg @marymustdie @cocote1410 @taygrls @koalapastries @vroomvroommuppett @nichmeddar @d3kstar @333kiki @ririyulife @resident-swiftie @zimm04 @jupiter-je-taime @ever_bizzare @blue-isnt-avaliable @iifloweringnightsii @graciewrote @formulaal @m0cha-bunny @marvelsimps @mehrmonga @elliegrey2803 @theblueblub @gwginnyweasley @sltwins @f1kenzzz @alexmarie29 @donttouchthegnote @clemswrld @hollieeelol @leireggsworld @luvvtrent @maddie-naps @lilcowboy0 @tygecjjd @skepvids @bwddermilch @pnkwhskyprncss @notawc @landossainz @janegxi @chaotic_version @lookatitlaterlol @cometsrodrigo @lizzypiastri @nixisracing @lavviee @yaesflorist

if you want to be added to any of my taglists, fill out this form

[jewishfalin]

Got an email from the last job I left saying they rlly need people and im filled with rage

[disneyprincemuke]

of drunk regrets * fem!driver

the morning after vegas

what does one do when you have no recollection of getting married?

pairings: sebastian vettel x fem!driver, logan sargeant x fem!driver, max verstappen x fem!driver, oscar piastri x fem!driver, mick schumacher x fem!driver

notes: hi late update and that’s because i was crocheting the entire day lol

(series masterlist)

she hums turning around, her arm landing on something solid instead of a soft pillow. she opens an eye, flinching back when her eyes land on someone’s clothed back, then groans when nausea slowly hits her.

“who the fuck is this?”

the person next to her hums. they left their head before dropping it back into the pillow. “mm.”

she looks around to the best of her ability, snorting when she realises that amidst all her drunken antics from the night before, they didn’t even end up on the bed. they’re sleeping on the carpeted floor of her hotel room.

she lifts her head, ignoring the nausea hitting her all at once. the bed is empty.

a hand comes up to nurse her head, looking down at the body lying next to her with the blanket draped over their shoulder loosely. she brought somebody back to her hotel room with her? now that’s just a tabloid rumour waiting to blow up in her face when she opens up her phone.

she leans forward, wobbling slightly, as she tries to get a glimpse of their face. her eyes widen, landing a smack on their shoulder with some force. "what the hell are you doing here?"

"don't hit me, i'm trying to sleep."

"mick! you're in my hotel room!"

"what?" blue eyes are exposed to the dim lights of the room, disappearing once more when mick shuts his eyes. "what am i doing here?"

"how would i know?" she sighs, slowly lying back down on the ground. "i don't remember anything."

"we didn't do anything... did we?"

she looks down at herself, surprisingly dressed in her pyjamas without any recollection of even making it back into her hotel room in the first place. "i hope not."

"you hope?" mick cries, shaking his head in dismay. "this is not good."

"give me a second. i need to think," she sighs, pressing the back of her hand to her forehead. "start thinking. do you remember anything from last night?"

mick also sighs, simply shaking his head. he pulls the blanket over his body and snuggles back into his pillow. "no, but wake me up when you've figured it out. i'm really hungover right now, mate."

"really? you don't think i am?"

"i'm sure you are, but– what the hell is this on my finger? when did i get a mood ring?"

"you have a mood ring?" there's a momentary pause. "oh, look. i've got one too. when did i–"

they both sit up hurriedly, hissing in pain as they point at each other with a loud gasp. "no! are you serious? did we really do that? when did we even have the time to do that?"

mick cries. "my mother is going to kill me."

"mine will kill me – i'm barely 21, mick!"

"i'm going to american jail! you're not even legal here!" he rubs his eyes. “i don’t wanna go to jail here!”

she scrambles around for her phone, eyes widening at her notifications.

SUPERMAX you and mick???

RATSELL what's ur ig post about m8?

LOWGAN when u wake up, there's a cup of water and an advil on the bedside for u also, check ur instagram

PASTRY you did the funniest thing last night.

LILLIES thanks for the free pizza wish i could've been there for the actual ceremony though? it's ok, maybe at your next wedding

ALBONO please tell me you didn't

LAW SON i think u may have sent logan over the edge cuz wtf is bro doing in my hotel room ranting to charlotte and i at 5am

MICKEY ur asleep rn i can't sleep when do u think we should renew our vows??? oh no we got married!??!??!

BLYTHE mate u got married without me in attendance??? not saying i'm offended but like seriously?

THE BETTER SARGEANT who u married to? if it's logan istg omg is it mick? i saw ur instagram

LANCE

congrats!!!

if i’d known sooner, i’d have bought you a wedding gift before landing in vegas

i’ll get one before the last race i promise

SEBASTIAN ur very funny, do u know that? text me when ur up, we should talk

MUMMY wowww let me know what wedding gift to get you you grow up so fast, my love

PAPA what is all this ruckus i'm hearing between mum and blythe about you getting married? call me.

KRISTEN (PR) team meeting asap. bring the schumacher.

she glances at mick. "my dad's going to kill you."

mick turns to her, shoulders slumped with his eyes widened in panic. "i really really hope my mother gets to me first." he shakes his head and pats around the ground for his phone. "you know what? i'll just tell her myself."

“don’t bother,” she scoffs, lying back down in the pillow sprawled on the floor. “i vividly remember you calling gina when we were getting pizza that you married me in vegas.”

kristen chews on the inside of her cheek, scanning the group around her. "what is this? i only told you to bring mick."

the girl takes off the sunglasses on her face and sighs. "you think i didn't try telling them off? is this your first time meeting these losers? i– listen, i'm too hungover to tell them off, kristen."

"please let us stay?" max smiles, batting his eyelashes at the older woman. "i promise we'll be quiet. i'm just curious over the events of last night."

"so am i," kristen points out in a soft voice, moving her eyes over the pair seated on the couch on the other side of her table. at that point, they are the least of her concerns. "do you know the pr nightmare you just caused over a couple of drinks? do you have any idea the reckless thing you just did?"

"please don't shout," she says softly, eyes closing. "it was stupid, we know. in my defense–"

"they shouldn't have even let us in the chapel in the first place in that state," mick sighs, shaking his head disapprovingly. “so technically, whose fault is it, really?”

“both of yours for even coming up with the stupid idea in the first place!” logan screams, pointing at them in frustration. “you made a bad decision!”

kristen glances at logan, shooting him a side eye for disrupting her meeting. when logan shrugs, she simply looks back at the married pair her seats. “you’re not even 21! you did this in america too! god!”

“and they shouldn’t have permitted it knowing that i wasn’t 21!” the young girl shrieks, immediately defending herself. this is a hill she is willing to die on. “let’s focus more on the fact that they let two drunk idiots get married instead of the fact that i thought of it.”

“you came up with that idea?” max throws his head back, hissing softly as he shook his head. “why am i not surprised?”

“right? you have to tell her how stupid she is for this,” logan rambles in frustration. “seriously! you couldn’t go one year without making a stupid decision?

she rolls her eyes, glancing at mick from the side of her eyes. he flashes her an apologetic grin and she shrugs with another eye roll in response.

“i mean, you’re an adult. you can do whatever you want, but do you know how legally exhausting the entire process will be from here on out?” max continues, throwing his arms in the air. “knowing you, you won’t like it! there’s a lot of papers to sign!”

“and paper work to read!” logan adds on. “seriously!”

“god, (y/n), how could you be so stu–“

“i came up with the idea,” mick speaks out, turning to max and logan with a small smile. “it’s not her fault, you guys. come on. lay off her a little bit.”

she shoots him a questioning stare. “no, wait–“

mick laughs. “the deal at the pizza place just looked so good. i’m not excusing it because we were drunk, but cut us some slack.”

sebastian, sitting quietly in the corner of the room, finally stands up. he folds his arms over his chest. “it doesn’t matter who came up with the crazy idea to get married in vegas.”

“you’re still not mad?” logan raises an eyebrow. “there’s got to be some part of you that is.”

“how about let me conduct my meeting with my driver in peace? unless you want to take over my job of being her pr officer…” kristen speaks out, looking around the room to shut down any more forms of interruption. she looks back at her. “let me see the marriage certificate.”

“the what?”

“you signed one, didn’t you?“

she scrunches her nose and looks at mick. “did we sign one? i really can’t remember.”

“i don’t,” mick cuts himself off, looking just as clueless, “i literally blacked out last night. i don’t remember anything.”

sebastian beams, standing a little straighter. “i have it right here! look at it, kristen.”

he puts down a piece of paper on the table. the entire room watches the woman read over the paper, lips pressed together.

a small laugh bubbles from her, grabbing the certificate into her hands and bringing it closer to her face. her laugh gets a little louder, sebastian eventually joining her with a hand over his mouth.

“what is so funny?” she sighs, rolling her eyes. “all i can think about is the shopping spree i can’t have this month over the lawyer fees.”

“and the fact that i could end up in american jail for marrying a 20-year-old!”

kristen grins, slamming the certificate down onto the table. “it’s illegitimate.”

“what?”

“oh?”

“surprising turn of events!”

“illegitimate?”

a hand slams into the table, the youngest in the room jumping to her feet. “illegitimate? what about my free pizza? how is that illegitimate? i’m not a schumacher anymore?”

“you changed your name?” oscar pipes up, roaring in laughter, covering his face. this entire ordeal has been very amusing to him.

she turns around sheepishly with a small smile. “i was planning to. how cool would it be to be a schumacher?”

“what the fuck?” logan says to her, bewildered at the thought process. “you’re not married and you’re telling me that’s the only thing you’re concerned about? not being a schumacher in the eye of the law?”

mick giggles, looking up at her with an impressed expression. “schumacher does go along well with your name.”

“i know. should we get married for realsies after this weekend and legally change my name?”

“have you learned nothing from this?” kristen throws her hands into the air. she leans back into her seat, letting out the heaviest sigh of relief as she no longer has to engage with any legal teams. pr wise, it would be easy.

she shrugs, sitting back down into the cushioned seat. “don’t get drunk with mick in vegas.”

“first and last time i’m drinking that much with you,” mick adds on with a snort. though, there’s a small smile playing on his face as he looks at her.

they both know that won’t be the last time they’ll be sending their pr officers into a frenzy. they’re truly a force to be reckoned with.

and, it could have been worse.

“i paid for all the pizzas you ate and threw up last night,” sebastian sighs, shaking his head. “you owe me like $100.”

she nods. “okay, i’ll pay you. still no shopping spree for me this month, i guess.”

mick clicks his tongue, giving her a thumbs up. “i’ll pay him. consider it my wedding gift to you, wife.”

“she’s not your wife,” logan points out with an eye roll. “didn’t even get married in the first place, remember? illegitimate. not even a real certificate. never happened. literally no record of it.”

“i’m curious,” max furrows his eyebrows and lips pouted out. “how did you pull this off to make it seem real, seb?”

“i arrived to their ‘wedding’–“

“not real!”

“logan, cut it out.”

“–before them. i spoke to the receptionist before they arrived; they don’t let drunk people get married. i convinced her to give them the slot anyway just to teach these two a lesson.”

“impressive?” kristen smiles. “you just saved me a lot of paper work.”

“and mick the beating he’d get from her dad if it actually ever happened to go through.”

she smiles, leaning over the arm rest to whisper at mick. she taps him on the shoulder. “we should celebrate with ice cream.”

— bonus

they flood out of the office collectively, the young girl looking down at the mood ring around her ring finger. “we should keep the rings, shouldn’t we, mick? keepsake.”

“to remind you of your bad decision making?” logan questions.

“no, to piss you off.” she turns around and shoves him back gently. “of course, just to keep memory of the one time i was almost a schumacher!”

sebastian tilts his head. “you know you’ll still be you, right? even if you’re legally considered a schumacher? you won’t get his blue eyes.”

“i could,” she hums with a smile. “so, husband. watching the race from my garage tonight like a factory manufactured wag?”

“can’t, wife,” mick sighs. “i work for mercedes.”

“i could get you the second seat if you wanted.”

“you have the power to do that?” she nods. “that’s hot.”

“cut it out, you guys are making max uncomfortable!” oscar grunts, pushing the pair apart.

beside them, max has his fingers plugged into his ears and is humming softly to himself. “it’s not real, it’s not real. they’re not actually married,” he whispers to himself. “and it will never happen.”

taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mindless-rock @leilanixx @ironmaiden1313 @angsthology @cherry-piee @christianpulisic10 @elliegrey2803 @cashtons-wife @sadg3 @a10vely-yutazen @mellowarcadefun @glitterf1 @megatrilss1885 @peqch-pie @gentlyweeps-world @woozarts @darleneslane @meadhbhcavanagh @namgification @inejismywife @2bormaybenot @love4lando

[wheeboo]

all yours | yoon jeonghan

SYNOPSIS. in which you get a bit too drunk on your special day. PAIRING. yoon jeonghan x gn!reader GENRE. fluff, established relationship WARNINGS. mentions of drinking alcohol and throwing up, reader has long enough hair to be pulled back, cursing, terms of endearment WORD COUNT. 1.4k

requested from anon: Hi hope all is well, just wanted to say Congrats on the milestone! You deserve it! And if it’s okay I would like to request #29 and #52 from prompt list 1 with Jeonghan thank you in advance if you do it. Congrats again to 2k you honestly deserve it :) - #29: "I do love you, you know. Even if I'm shit at showing it." - #52: "Shut up, you love me. Why else would you be here, taking care of me while I hurl into a toilet?"

notes: thank u sm anon 😭🫶 ur so so sweet ily AAAA sending consensual smooches ur way 😚😚 also genuinely did not know what to title this lmfao

join the 2k celebration!

Okay, maybe you've had a bit too much to drink tonight.

It's your birthday anyway, so surely you have the right to go a little bit overboard on your special day... right?

"Ugh, I feel like shit," You mumble groggily, your body drifting and hitting the bathtub right next to you with a thud as the sounds of the toilet flushing bounce off the walls of the bathroom.

Jeonghan just crosses his arms together, leaning against the doorway with a sly smirk to his face. His eyes peer over your flushed face, slightly tousled hair and overall cute, disheveled appearance. You huff a breath as your gaze meets his, and a small, almost dreamy smile of your own forms on your face despite knowing how absurd you look right now.

"How do I look?" You ask, drawing your words out drunkenly.

"Honestly?" Jeonghan starts, and you lift a brow in anticipation. "You look ravishingly awful."

The words that leave his mouth has your face twisting in confusion, your brain hardly processing whatever the hell he just said (you'll take it as a compliment nonetheless, thanks to your cloudy mind).

However, Jeonghan just chuckles, fully stepping his way into the bathroom and towards where you are plopped down on the tile floor. He carefully sits himself down on the rim of the bathtub, expression softening right away with concern as he reaches out to gently brush a stray strand of hair from your face, feeling the warmth on your face from the alcohol to his fingers.

You lean into his touch instinctively, closing your eyes for a few seconds. "My body is going to hate me in the morning."

Jeonghan retracts his hand slightly, but not before his fingertips lingers your cheek, sending a jolt through your already-buzzing body and causing your eyes to flutter open. You can feel the heat creeping back up your neck, suddenly feeling shy under his gaze.

"Hmm, not if I take care of you real well, yeah?" he muses teasingly, and you could only groan in response, feeling the alcohol earlier make your head spin once more. But a tiny, sober part of you registers the warmth in his gaze.

That is, until you can start to feel something bubble up your throat, and before you can react, your stomach lurches, and you're scrambling for the toilet just in time to expel the contents of your stomach. You heave and retch, feeling utterly miserable as Jeonghan helps by pulling back your hair and rubbing your back soothingly.

As the wave of nausea passes, your hand releases its hold on the cold porcelain of the toilet seat. You lean back once more, nearly toppling over before Jeonghan's hands catch you by the shoulders, helping to straighten up your posture. You let out a sluggish sigh.

"Well, maybe you're not wrong about your body hating you," he says jokingly, then squeezes your shoulders right after as if reassure you. "I would not want to be the receiving end of all... that."

You roll your eyes in playful annoyance and yank his grip off you, his laughter ringing in your ears. "I... Shut up, you love me. Why else would you be here, taking care of me while I hurl into a toilet?"

A feigned gasp leaves Jeonghan as he dramatically clutches his chest. But the inebriated glare you throw his way doesn't seem to faze him in the slightest. You catch the way his face quickly dissolves into his horribly distinguishable shit-eating grin.

"Ah, you figured out my secret, my dearest," he responds with an exaggerated flair, cupping your face gently with his hand. "You getting wasted made you more perceptive than I thought."

You swat at him weakly, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "You're impossible."

"Only for you." He cheesily presses a kiss to the top of your head. "How are you feeling? Can you stand up?"

"Mmmh... help me?" You laggardly open your arms up to him, a pout forming at your mouth.

Your eyes are too heavy to catch the way Jeonghan is gazing at you so adoringly right now. He takes your outstretched arms and helps to hoist you up to your feet. For a moment, you're eye-to-eye, your head spinning slightly from the sudden movement and the world tilting a little as you stand.

Jeonghan secures a hand at your lower back as he carefully leads you out of the bathroom and back into your bedroom, catching a glimpse to the remains of the party from earlier scattered about the room. Balloons hang lazily at the ceiling, confetti laying across the floor𑁋you can deal with it in the morning.

"You're a hot mess," he comments teasingly, though there's a fondness in his tone as he guides you to the bed.

You flop down onto the mattress with a groan, the softness of the pillows cushioning against your throbbing head. Jeonghan disappears for a minute to retrieve a bottle of pills from the bathroom and a glass of water from the kitchen, placing it on your bedside table before sitting down beside you, his hand reaching out to brush hair away from your forehead.

You crack open an eye to look at him, feeling yourself trying so hard to not fall asleep on the spot.

"Do... you think they know?"

Jeonghan looks back down at you. "Who?"

"Every... Everyone who came today, uh..." You mutter, motioning the air with your hand. "I didn't... do anything weird out there, right? We haven't really told anyone about us yet..."

Jeonghan purses his lips together, eyelids fluttering as if he's trying to remember the events of the party. He crosses his arms together, and you should probably know from the smirk appearing at his face that𑁋

"Hm, like, weird as in when you tried to kiss me earlier after you sang karaoke? Or𑁋"

"Are you being serious right now?!" There's a long, drawn out unintelligible sound that you whine as you bury your face into the pillow, the cool fabric soothing against your flushed cheeks. "Oh my god, I'm so stupid..."

"My love, I still don't entirely understand why we have to hide it," Jeonghan says gently, his fingers trailing lightly along your arm. "Your affection is pretty obvious, you know."

You snort at that, but you can't really deny it anyway since yeah, you are pretty affectionate with him. And it isn't that you don't want people to know. The thought of people knowing is completely fine, but it's really just that your friends can be absolute nutcases sometimes, and you really don't want to be at the teasing end of the stick right now when all you want is a bit of privacy, at least in the beginning.

"I just... I want you all to myself, you know?" You ramble drowsily, words still slightly slurred. "Just wanna... um, keep this between us for now. N-Not that I'm ashamed or anything, I just... want this to be ours."

Jeonghan lets his eyes take you in for a few moments, a soft look gracing over his features. He glances down at the way his hand seems to seems to instinctively find yours, your fingers intertwining loosely. Frankly, he’s already yours𑁋been yours from the moment the thought of you started to become a frequent visitor to his head.

"Of course," he assures lightly, not taking his eyes off you even while adjusting the pillows so you're in a more comfortable position. "Get some sleep now, okay?"

"M'kay," You utter out, feeling the weight of the bed lift when Jeonghan stands up. Yet as a thought crosses your mind, you call out to him, "Jeonghan?"

He pauses, turning back to look at you with gentle eyes.

"I... I do love you, you know," You confess slowly, almost hesitantly, like that small flicker of sobriety had finally peeked through the haze of alcohol. "Even if I'm shit at showing it."

Jeonghan feels his heart racing in his chest, and the heat flaring at the tips of his ears. On the surface, it's normally hard to detect such reactions to whatever loving, cheesy, romantic stuff you've said to him (since usually, he'd rather tease you into the grave instead). But on the inside, his heart is practically doing cartwheels, somersaults, and backflips all at once𑁋he would quite literally do anything for you.

"Are you going to remember any of this in the morning?" he remarks playfully.

You only shrug loosely, eyelids drooping from exhaustion. "I might... maybe. But, uh, at least you know, right?"

His lips just curl up lovingly. Even if you don’t remember it, those three words would be the first things he would say every morning anyway.

"I love you too, angel," he says against the skin of your temple. "Happy birthday."

taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae @yeonjuns-redhair @wonwooz1 @woohaeyo @mark-geolli @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @aaniag @wootify @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @phenomenalgirl9 @roziesmei @mirxzii @bookyeom @parkjennykim @melodicrabbit @bewoyewo @honglynights @bananabubble @treehouse-mouse @tanya596carat @starshuas @totomoshi

[astonmartinii]

babysitter duty | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x reader

an emergency meeting at red bull means max finally meets the horner family babysitter and chaos ensues

note: i will obviously not be using christian's real kids in this, this is a work of fiction. there will be no real pictures of his kids, neither will i use their real names (i actually have no clue what they are and cannot be bothered to google it lol)

yourusername added to their story

[caption: when all the big businessmen crash baking night]

yourusername

liked by yourbff and others

tagged: yourbff

yourusername: last weekend before the eff won starts again i.e. my last weekend before my only friends are literal children

view all 27 comments

yourbff bring the kids out me thinks

yourusername my boss literally follows this account dumbass

christianhorner do not take my children clubbing

yourusername YES SIR 🫡

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, christianhorner and 223 others

yourusername: wasn't raining in oxford for once so a picnic was only necessary

view all 10 comments

yourbff they're so so precious

christianhorner who taught her that sign?

yourusername you did??? stop swearing so much in drive to survive sir

maxverstappen1 she's not wrong

christianhorner why are you here?

maxverstappen1

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 601,778 others

maxverstappen1 best way to start the season and to end a ten year drought in Bahrain!! thank you to everyone in the garage and all the fans in the stands

view all 10,865 comments

yourusername smashed it maxy

maxverstappen1 why thank you i'm blushing

user67 what. the. fuck. is that ^^^

themaxverstappenstan33 i am actually bamboozled

danielricciardo ignoring whatever meltdown is happening in these comments - congrats max !!

yourusername added to their story

[caption: school run days]

maxverstappen1 added to their story

f1wagsupdates

liked by f1girly77, likedbypierre and 77 others

f1wagsupdates this is y/n y/ln, she's a live-in babysitter for christian horner and more recently, she seems to be the one catching max verstappen's attention. as far as we know they first met after the top officials at red bull met for an emergency meeting at christian horner's home - we know she was present because she posted on her story with one of the kids baking during the meeting. since then she has been commenting on his posts and max posted a picture of him with a girl on his story in an outfit y/n has posted in before. do you think they're cute?

view all 21 comments

yourusername someone fancies themselves a detective

user34 oof she gagged yall

hugsforcharles tbf she has a point, you guys are digging way too into all of it

lilacverstappen i know this is a gross invasion of privacy but i kinda think they're cute

user33 you're not wrong

maxverstappen1

liked by yourusername, pierregasly and 1,206,781 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1 fuck u sherlock holmes i'll decide when i announce my relationship ... anyhow, you're cute, sorry christian but you're going to have to find a new babysitter

view all 23,089 comments

yourusername I LOVE YOU MAXY but i love those kids more so looks like you're movign to oxford

maxverstappen1 i never agreed to that

yourusername say goodbye to the tax free life and say hello to crayons and picnics

christianhorner you'll have three very angry kids to deal with max, but aside from that, i'm very happy for the both of you

yourusername love you bossman

maxverstappen1 love you bossman

danielricciardo this is not usually how this plot line ends

landonorris STOP RIGHT THERE OLD MAN THIS IS A WHOLESOME POST

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, christianhorner and 22,301 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername add max moving into christian's house to ur f1 bingo cards - you can't take me away from these kids, they're kinda my only friends

view all 3,451 comments

maxverstappen1 i've been here one day and i'm convinced @christianhorner ur kids are evil geniuses

yourusername obvs they are maxy, they're salty spice's kids

user46 omg she calls him salty spice as well

christianhorner don't make me regret giving you a room near mine

yourusername GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER CHRISTIAN... maybe invest in some ear plugs ;)

christianhorner consider this your eviction notice

note: bit of a random one lol but i had fun. i know people don't like christian (for good reason) but he's the one it worked with. ALSO my asks are open now !!! so ask away xx