#connecting your router

[library-whale]

Ok yeah I know the last reblog I made was because it was hilarious, but like…. now I’m getting into weird headcanon territory with it.

Like, various “higher” entities give off weird signals that could potentially be detected by RG tech. (Obviously UG systems can be detected by RG tech, we have evidence of that happening in NEO, even if it’s treated as an odd case).

Noise are probably the easiest to pick up since they straddle the RG and UG. You can’t see them, of course (unless you’re the “Weebers” person from the first game), but their presence could create interference with certain things if they decide to mess with it. Very literal Noise in various signals.

Players might be too “faint” to detect. They’re ordinary people tuned up into the UG.

Reaper signals would be harder to detect than Noise, but not impossible. They probably operate on some Frequency that might not currently be detected as a whole, but every so often there’s this odd… “blip” if one passes nearby and is giving off some mean Vibes at the moment. Maybe a bit of phone interference if they get too close, a voice fading in and out that isn’t supposed to be there… and you just know some Reapers figure this out and decide to fuck with people lmao. (Also the obvious thought of ghost hunting equipment actually working to some extent on Reapers is funny to me. Nothing can actually hurt them, but they’re gonna say dumb shit in the ghost box and freak out the hunters, then not do anything when someone actually tries to prove it really happened.)

Passive signals might get more “incoherent” the stronger the Reaper, but any purposeful interaction on the Reaper’s part usually comes through clearly. This is true of any UG native.

Composers probably give off so many goddamn weird frequencies at max power that phones in the UG have to specifically be psychically shielded from it… but mainly to hide their presence. It’s not usually a problem unless you decide to actually try to interact with those frequencies, such as connecting to the weird garbled “Wi-Fi hotspot” near your local Room of Reckoning only for it to immediately brick your phone. (Downtuned Composers might still give off some weird frequencies, but the most it would do is make tech that connects to it act… funny. Then after a few hours it bricks.) Turning the phone back on is probably gonna have side effects if you got far enough away to get a weaker signal from the “hotspot”, and even after disconnecting from it altogether your phone’s gonna act weird for a while. (This is what happens when you accidentally connect directly to the City, even via a proxy, and your Soul isn’t strong enough to handle it yet. Any extension of you (yes your phone counts, it contains a lot about you) is gonna freak out.)

Angels usually don’t give off these kinds of frequencies when visiting from the Higher Plane. They suppress themselves too well to be picked up as anything weird by any current technology. (They could, if they wanted to, release a really intense signal and cause a City-wide blackout, but this is rarely useful unless you reeaaally wanna crash the UG’s systems… problem is, this affects every plane below the Higher Plane. And depending on the Imagination of the Angel, neighboring Cities could even be affected by it, too. It’s really not worth it and there are probably all sorts of rules and regulations about it.)

[torchickentacos]

environmental storytelling (currently looking up wi-fi issues)

[transinfected]

You really do take good wifi for granted man.

[hackeocafe]

Here's how to make your router BETTER! (OpenWRT)

With OpenWRT installed, your router cannot only be more secure but also have extra features, such as the ability to use a VPN.

[kittycatsocks]

THATS WHY IM IN THE ROUTER APP YOU FOOL

[psychoticallytrans]

Well, according to the email I got today, the Affordable Connectivity Program has not had its funding renewed. For everyone on it, I advise talking to your provider as soon as you can, especially if they talked you into an upgrade because it was still free with what the program covers. In addition, they recommend applying for the Lifeline program to cover part of the remaining cost. If you didn't get the email, you can apply for the Lifeline program here. You will be allowed to keep any devices that you got as a result of the ACP, such as a free router. Your connectivity services will not be interrupted, but they will be charged for soon. They estimate that the benefits will end in April 2024, so don't plan for that bill to be covered.

[foldingfittedsheets]

Oh my god. Okay. Technology rant incoming.

So I sell beds. I get deals on stuff like mattresses and adjustable bases. The adjustable vibrates which helps me fall asleep and tips the head and feet up for comfort. I got us a Tempurpedic Ergo Smart Base for the new king size bed. I have an eight year old Ergo Premier that’s in the guest room now and has never had any problems. It is far and away better than the current model we just got.

The new one has a bunch of features like monitoring your sleeping and we’re told to pitch the app that comes with it. Now my beef is we tell customers that they can use their phone as the remote if they want. But the only way to do that is to get the app and agree to let Tempurpedic have all your data, much of which relate to medical conditions? Hated that.

But then I started snoring. And one of the features that’s only on the app is an automatic response to snoring. It’ll vibrate you to have you turn over or elevate the bed more. For my beloved wife I wanted to activate the snore response. So I joined the fucking app. It requires your height and weight. I told it I was seven feet tall and weighed one pound cause fuck their data.

Then I set up the app. It requires an internet connection. Because I don’t want that fucker beaconing my data that I was forced to sign up for I tethered my phone and had it connect to that. Once setup was done I disconnected it.

It ceases to function without WiFi. A basic thing that is programmed in the base itself will not activate without WiFi. I’m fuming. Tried to hook it up to actual WiFi and this fucking thing won’t connect to the non-hotspot WiFi at all. Their help page just talks about getting a better router.

Livid doesn’t come close to covering my feelings about this shit. I’m emailing support but I am gonna fully stop recommending their product on this basis.

[pomefioredove]

omg i LOVE the concept of cookies as asks so can i have a sugar cookie, #8, with chocolate drizzle and marshmallows thank yeww 🙏

t-t-total idia victory!

order #8, sugar with chocolate drizzle and marshmallows

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ internet connection

tropes: ex (mutuals) to lovers, roommate au characters: idia additional info: romantic, gender neutral reader, reader is yuu

It was the closest experience to dating Idia had ever gotten, and likely the only experience he'd ever get again.

Three months.

Three perfect, blissful months.

That's 13.0357 weeks, 91.2501 days, 2,190 hours of chats, voice calls, and texts with someone he had almost considered his.

He was raising his confidence stats to ask them out when they sent him a message, which would be their last:

"router busted. sry. will get it fixed soon"

That was weeks ago.

Idia couldn't blame them. They were going to get tired of him eventually, and ghosting him, sucky as it was, was still the easiest way to let him down.

Then, at least, he could pretend that they were telling the truth.

"Come on, Idy! This is your chance! You'll never get over them if you never meet anyone else!"

Ortho's cheery, hopeful words twist Idia's stomach with guilt. He knows that. Of course he knows that.

He buries himself deeper into his blankets. "I don't want anyone else,"

"It's only for a few weeks. Maybe you'll make friends!"

Unlikely. Idia doesn't have the social XP for that. Who would want to be friends with him, anyway?

He can't even keep Magicord mutuals.

Then again, he has no other choice.

The Prefect had asked to stay somewhere with a high-speed internet connection while post-S.T.Y.X. Ramshackle was being repaired, and Ortho had volunteered Idia.

And his room.

Ugh. Why can't anything go right for once?

Idia hides under his covers like a small child, drowning the sound of the door and voices in PreMo.

He honestly doesn't know a lot about you. He doesn't get out much, and even if he did, you've always got those OP normie friends around you.

He knows you don't talk much. He's actually never heard you talk at all.

Whatever.

Idia only emerges from his blankets when his ears are ringing from the music and his body is sore from stillness.

He takes off his headphones and reads the room.

There's Ortho, projecting a beam of light on the wall, and there's Grim, chasing it, and there's you.

You seem a little out of place, awkwardly sitting on the floor when there are chairs and tables, your bags still at your sides, unpacked.

Something about you makes him feel at ease. Weird.

"Oh- Idy!" Ortho chimes. Idia jumps, and then everyone is looking at him. Crap.

"We were wondering when you'd come out! The Prefect has a question for you!"

You give Ortho a panicked look, as if to say you most certainly did not have a question for him. Idia has his own suspicions.

"About the Wi-Fi," Ortho chimes. "They really need to get online."

Idia narrows his eyes. His brother can handle something as simple as that.

"...O-okay," he mumbles. "I guess."

He reluctantly gets out of bed and sits beside you. At least with an objective, he isn't so nervous. You hand him your phone, some sad secondhand thing, and he puts in the password for you.

"Lemme know if it's slow. I've been working on upgrading the router, and it's been a little laggy," he hands your phone to you.

"Shouldn't be a problem, though."

You take it. "I can't complain, I don't have a router at all right now,"

Idia's face turns red.

His eyes go wide.

He can't place it, at first. What's that weird feeling? What is it about you-

You notice his expression. "Uh... did I say something?"

And when you speak again, just like that, Idia jumps to his feet.

"IT-IT'S YOU!"

"You?" Grim asks.

"You?" Ortho echoes.

"Me?"

Idia feels like he's losing his mind, his anxiety cracking and breaking away, shock taking its place.

"Y-yes, you! I know that voice! Don't you- you recognize mine too, don't you?!"

Your eyes widen.

"Oh... no... no way,"

"I-I can't believe this!" he says, suddenly grinning. "You weren't lying about the router, it must've got totally busted when S.T.Y.X- oh, crap. IT'S ALL MY FAULT!"

"Idy..." Ortho warns. "Your heart rate is-"

"I know! I know, I just- I can't believe it- you, of all people,"

He sits again, shaking. It takes you a moment to catch up.

"I... I wasn't lying," you mumble. "I've been trying to get a decent internet connection since we got back, but..."

"This is the guy?" Grim mumbles to you. He is ignored.

Idia feels lightheaded. This isn't real. This isn't happening. This is some weird dream.

He can't seem to stop grinning, anyway.

"Will you go out with me?!" he asks, without thinking at all. But not even the sinking feeling in his stomach is enough to ground him.

You stare back, your own eyes wide.

And then, in your familiar voice, in your familiar easing presence: "I'd like that,"

[luciathcv]

network issues - jjk

summary: in which jungkook has been in a bad mood all day || warnings: jungkook is mad? || genre: angst, comfort, established relationship || word count: approximately 970 || a/n: based off this live

Jungkook was simply in a horrible mood today. Every little thing seemed to piss him off. Despite that, he did his best to refrain from taking it out on you. You hadn't done anything wrong, after all. In fact, there was really no reason for his bad mood today. It was just one of those days.

The house being a mess was only a contributing factor to his bad mood. He didn’t say anything about it, though. He thought it wouldn’t be fair since it was really his fault it was like this since you’d slept over at your friend’s place the previous two nights.

Despite his internal complaints to himself about it, he had no energy to clean it right now, telling himself that he’d just deal with it tomorrow.

Not only that, but he’d had to go to work earlier in the day for a meeting which was whatever to him but when he came home, the internet had been completely shit at his house. He hated when stuff like that happened and he knew it was annoying for you as well when you were home alone, bored.

“Why didn’t you tell me the network was being like this?” He simply asked, though his tone was tense, as he restarted the router.

“I figured it wasn’t that big of a deal.” You softly say, knowing he was in a bad mood, though, really, you were right.

He just groaned as he sat back on the couch and watching the router reconnect, his legs spread and his arms crossed over his chest as his tongue mindlessly prodded the inside of his cheek.

Later that night, he sat at the dining table with you after the two of you had finished dinner and he grabbed the remote, hoping to himself that there wouldn’t be a problem because all he wanted to right now was watch some TV and unwind.

Jungkook turned the TV on and you just looked at the screen as the network was once again disconnected on there.

“What is with the network today.” He complained, mainly to himself. He shook his head lightly before sighing. “What’s wrong with this house?” He asks himself in annoyance. “With how much I pay for this place…” Your boyfriend trails off.

You just look at him, biting your lip mindlessly as you watch him groan before getting up and walking around your chair, going over to the TV and playing with some buttons.

“The network, the LTE, and the internet isn’t working. Are you serious?” He said before walking back over and sitting next to you again. He started to use the remote again to try and reboot the network on the TV. “Really?” He sighed.

“It’s okay. We don’t have to watch TV.” You comment, trying to make him feel better.

“Babe,” He sighs, taking a deep breath as he holds back on taking his frustration out on you. “No. If I want to watch TV, I should be able to watch some damn TV.” Jungkook says before looking back at the TV.

He clicks on the remote a few times but nothing happens. He then lifts his arm in the air with the remote, clicking it to see if that’d help but it doesn’t.

“Now the TV isn’t working.” He sighed. “What’s wrong with this house?” He groans.

I could tell he was getting stressed as he got up again and went over to the TV, trying to press some buttons on there again but it didn’t seem to be doing much.

“What’s with you..” He said to the TV in frustration before going back over to you and sitting down again. You just watch him quietly, figuring it was best if you didn’t say anything right now.

He uses the remote a bit more but it still says it’s not connected, “It’s connected. What’s wrong with you?” He sighs out.

He attempts to reboot again but to no avail. He frowns as his clicks the remote a bit more aggressively. You put your hand on his bicep and he stops, looking over at you, feeling bad.

“I’m sorry.” He apologizes. “This is just so stupid.” He comments.

Your hand drops from his arm, falling back into your lap. “I know.” You softly agree.

“I’m done.” He says as he turns the TV off, not feeling like putting anymore energy into that right now.

You’re silent for a few moments, “Are you okay today?” You ask. Obviously, you knew he wasn’t but you just said that so he could tell you himself and maybe explain a little.

"I just feel like shit today." He responds. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" You asked in a soft tone, trying my best to be consoling.

"I've been a shit boyfriend. I've been mean to you when you didn't deserve it." Jungkook explains his thoughts.

"You haven't been a shit boyfriend." You tell him, and you mean it. "You don't always have to be in a good mood, you know?" You then tell him. I mean, he was your boyfriend. Aren't you supposed to be together through bad and good?

He doesn't say anything in response as he looks down at his lap for a moment before using his fingers to comb his hair back and out of his face. You just watch silently.

Jungkook puts his hand on your thigh as he rubs it mindlessly, letting out a sigh. "I think I just need to go to sleep." He tells you.

"Okay, let's go to sleep." You agree, getting up and holding your hand out for him to take.

He puts his hand in yours and stands before the two of you head to your bedroom, heading to go to bed so he can sleep this mood off.

ᥫ᭡ link to my masterlist

[joelalorian]

neighborhood watch

neighbor!frankie morales x f!reader | wc: 5.7k | masterlist

Summary: When someone - or something - starts causing mischief around your new neighborhood, you and your neighbor Frankie are paired up for the new neighborhood watch.

Warnings: Not much, just cursing. Though this fic is rated T for Tame, this blog as a whole is 18+ mdni. Fluff and humor. Reader is a blank slate. No use of y/n.

A/N: This is my contribution to @punkshort's AU August Challenge to celebrate Shortie's 1-year tumblrversary. I was given the AU prompt neighbor!Frankie and ran with it. Hope you enjoy!

Palm trees lined both sides of the road, fronds gently swaying in the sea breeze as you drove through the picturesque neighborhood of bungalows to your new home. After a long and winding journey nearly halfway across the country to get there, you sighed in relief when you pulled your Wrangler into the small driveway. With all your – admittedly limited – worldly possessions shoved into the backseat, truck, and every other available crevice; you couldn’t wait to get out of the cramped space.

An old Florida 2/1 painted the color of green sea glass, the bungalow greeted you with a charming porch and two large windows bisected by the front door. The gabled roof offered taller ceilings and the wood flooring was original. By far, your favorite feature was the reading nook nestled into the living room with built-in shelves for books and the comfiest cushion to lounge on while reading or simply staring out the bay window.

Yeah, everything about this place beat what you left behind. Shitty apartment in a shitty part of a shitty town and an even shittier ex-boyfriend. Not that you were bitter about that or anything. You were still in awe that you managed to dig yourself out of that toxic situation before it completely destroyed you and scrounge up the money for this place. Thankfully, it came furnished. You didn’t have much money left for anything else.

You spent the afternoon unloading your belongings, organizing, and rearranging the place to your liking, blinds open to let the natural light in – anything to save on electric when the AC unit would be running nonstop. With the router and wifi connected, you curled up in the reading nook and watched as your new neighbors started coming home from work or set about walking dogs and mowing their small yards. A few glanced curiously at the sight of a vehicle in your driveway, no doubt wondering about the new resident.

Was this the type of neighborhood where neighbors would bring you casseroles to introduce themselves? Surely that was something only done in television shows and cheesy movies, right?

No less than an hour later, a kindly looking older woman knocked on your door, a covered dish in her hands. She greeted you with aged eyes and a toothy smile when you opened the door.

“Well, hello dear. I’m Stella and just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.” Stella casually peeked into the house as she spoke, not bothering to hide the blatant snooping, and you shook your head in amusement.

“Nice to meet you, Stella,” you replied, offering your name. “Would you like to come in?” The woman practically craned her neck to get a look, how could you not invite her in.

“Oh! That would be lovely, dear. As long as you don’t mind. Maybe we could snack on this key lime pie I made for you?” She bustled right in, making herself at home at your tiny dining table and you shut the door to follow her, grabbing plates and forks along the way.

“Would you like something to drink, Stella?” you asked from the kitchen. “I don’t have much yet, but I made lemonade.”

“Lemonade is great, thank you.” After a moment, she added, “Will anyone else be joining us?”

“Unless there’s a ghost hiding out in this place, I doubt it,” you replied, taking a seat across the table from her.

For the next hour, Stella grilled you for information – where were you from, what brought you to this particular neighborhood, were you single. The list of questions went on and on, but she was so kind and friendly about it that it didn’t feel intrusive. Still, relief washed over you when she changed topics from you to sharing information about the other neighbors. Much of it went in one ear and out the other until she got to someone who piqued your interest. Stella talked A LOT.

“There are two men about your age a few doors down. They are the nicest boys, always offering a hand when they can. Benny and Frankie are their names and they have been friends since they served in the military together. Quite handsome, too.”

Stella watched you as she spoke, keen eyes gauging your reaction, and she smiled when you perked up.

“Oh?” you said wanting to hear more.

“Mmhmm, thought those two might get your attention,” the older woman chuckled merrily. “Frankie is the one with dark hair and soulful eyes. He’d run into some sort of trouble a bit ago, which is why he lives with Benny while getting back on his feet.”

You hummed. “I know how that goes.” You wondered what kind of trouble he got into, but you didn’t ask Stella. That was something you’d want to hear firsthand from Frankie, if he ever wanted to share, not the rumor mill.

“Don’t we all,” Stella agreed. “Benny is the blonde one, a little younger and full of energy. Comes home with a bruised face a lot. I think he boxes or something. I’ll never understand young men and their desire to beat each other up.”

You smiled dreamily, mind wandering as Stella continued talking. While all the neighbors sounded normal, you looked forward to meeting Benny and Frankie from just the little Stella shared. They seemed most like your kind of people. The broken souls just trying to make it through life one day at a time.

It took a week to fully settle in and meet most of the neighbors. Stella lived right next door with another older couple, Ann and John, next to her. Benny and Frankie lived next door to them. One the other side of you lived a young couple, Kara and Matt, newlyweds who moved in not too long ago, followed by a quiet woman by the name of Lynn, and a busy couple in their 30s with two small children, who you referred to as “The Kellys”, finger quotes included. They scurried to and from their house like cockroaches afraid of the sun, never stopping to interact with the neighbors. You found it oddly amusing.

Across from you was another eclectic bunch of neighbors – an artist, two retired teachers, a retired cop, an insurance agent and housewife, and a variety of others whose names you were still learning.

You met Benny pretty quickly, crossing paths one morning while going for a run. Stella hadn’t lied, he was cute, but in like a golden retriever kind of way that made you want to scratch his head and throw him a ball to fetch. He was just not your type, if you even had a type. Given your track record… nah, you weren’t going down that road.

Frankie, on the other hand, was an elusive creature. He tended to work a lot if the hours were available, Benny told you. It took an extra week to meet him, and it happened completely by accident while going to check your mail. A collective mailbox area sat next to the small clubhouse, and you started swinging by at the end of your morning runs to check your mail. It gave you some time to cool down and get rid of the junk mail before you got home.

Eagerly awaiting the severance package from your last job, you excitedly rushed around the corner after that morning’s run to get to your mailbox. The collision with a hard chest knocked you right off your feet, leg muscles too fatigued from your three-mile run to stabilize after the impact.

“Oomph,” you grunted at the initial impact, quickly followed by, “Oh, shit!” as you fell backwards on your ass.

“Fucking hell! I’m so sorry!” came the rushed, masculine reply as strong arms shot out to catch you just a moment too late.

You stared up, wide-eyed, from your seated position on the grass – at least you didn’t crash down on the sidewalk – to meet the prettiest pair of baby cow eyes you’d ever seen, the irises a shade of coffee brown you could just drink in for days. Your eyes roved the man’s face, meeting tanned skin flecked with stubble and pouty lips, dark locks curled out beneath a ball cap, twisting around the backs of his ears and along the absolutely kissable stretch of skin on the back of his neck.

One large hand moved to rub along that exact expanse of skin, a nervous tic perhaps, as the other reached out to help you back to your feet.

“Are you alright? I’m really sorry ‘bout that. Wasn’t watching where I was going,” the man said once you stood before him.

Brushing the grass off your ass and the back of your thighs, you waved him off. “No, no, I’m fine and it was completely my fault. I charged around the corner like a bull in a China shop.”

The man laughed in relief, blush still visible on his pinchable cheeks. “Yeah, you kinda did. Almost knocked me off my feet, too.”

Eyeing his exceptionally broad form doubtfully, you shook your head. “I’m your new neighbor, by the way,” you said, reaching out a hand and giving him your name.

“Oh! I’ve heard about the pretty addition to the neighborhood,” he winked at you, taking your hand in a firm grip. “I’m Francisco Morales, but everyone calls me Frankie. I think you met my roommate Benny already. He’s the one who said you were pretty. He wasn’t lying.”

Heat rushed your face at the rambled compliments. Frankie was a delightful mix of flirty, nervous, and shy which you found incredibly endearing. He was also gorgeous.

Flustered and overheated, the need to flee overwhelmed you. “Well, it was nice to finally meet you, Frankie. I’m sure I’ll see you around,” you called over your shoulder as you moved to your mailbox in the back corner of the space.

“You can count on it,” he called back before departing. He didn’t notice you peek around the corner to check out his backside as he walked away. His jeans hugged his ass in a pleasing way and his shirt stretched across his shoulders, the seams hanging on for dear life.

Frankie was going to be trouble; you could feel it. The best kind of trouble, yes, but trouble none the less.

Working from home allowed you to keep a great schedule. No more long commutes to the office, getting caught in traffic on the interstate, spending too much money on gas, or racking up the mileage on your car. You loved the Wrangler, but fuel economy was not its best quality. Instead, you could sleep until a respectable hour, still get a morning run or walk in, and have time for a shower and breakfast before plopping down at your desk for the workday.

And you loved your new job. Not only did you get to work from home, but you were paid to learn and develop learning programs for corporate trainings all day. The nerd in you danced with joy every time you learned something new or received feedback on something you put together.

The only downfall to this new life of yours?

Loneliness.

Sure, video calls with clients and colleagues peppered your days and you occasionally ran into a neighbor on your morning runs. But real human connection? No, there was none of that. Aside from talking to the plants or yourself, you didn’t even have a pet to provide companionship.

Three weeks after settling in, you found yourself at the shelter browsing adoptable animals. Growing up loving animals but never allowed to have pets – even your asshole ex was adamant about not having any in the house, which you should have seen as a giant red flag much sooner – you were finally able to add a furry little being to your family. You weren’t picky either, going in completely open-minded and letting the universe choose a fur friend for you.

The universe delivered ten minutes after arriving at the shelter when a big-eared, blue-eyed, black and white shepherd looking dog bounded up to you excitedly, darting directly between your legs and goosing you so hard it felt like your soul left your body with the yelp that burst from your lips.

“Joshua! No!” a harried volunteer called out, rushing over to you and the overly eager four-legged fiend. “I am so sorry! He loves people and picks out his favorites with a little too much zest.”

The woman wrangled the dog, which was no easy feat. Bigger than a breadbox but smaller than a German Shepherd, Joshua was a sturdy boy – and strong, based on the visible muscles in his hind legs – presenting a challenge when he put his mind to it.

Right then, his mind focused on you, and he refused to leave your side, licking at your hands with his pink tongue, booping you with his snout until you scratched his head, ears perked up as he gazed at you with those ice blue eyes.

You fell in love instantly. Plopping down on the ground, right there in the middle of the kennel walkway, you ruffled Joshua’s short-haired fur. He practically smiled in delight and melted into you as you pet him, tongue lolling out of his mouth as he presented his belly.

A pile of paperwork and a small fee later, you and Joshua the two-year-old McNab Shepherd headed to the pet store for goodies to start your adventure together. Joshua herded you around the store with single-minded determination, choosing his toys and treats while you spoke to the staff about the best food to feed him. Hundreds of dollars later, a gangly teenager helped you load a large dog bed, 50-pound bag of dry food, and two bags full of toys and treats into the Wrangler. Joshua sat shotgun, head hanging out the window as you drove home.

Joshua settled right in with minimal fuss, spending his days laying under your desk while you worked, booping you with his snout when he needed attention or walkies, and – worst part – chomping on your right ass cheek when you weren’t going in the direction he wanted. That was a habit you needed to break, asap. With Joshua at your side, you found yourself outside more, stopping to talk to all the neighbors and being recruited to join the new neighborhood watch. Suddenly, you no longer felt lonely or left out.

Tim, the retired cop who lived across the street, started the neighborhood watch out of boredom, you reckoned. He served the public in larger cities for much of his law enforcement career, and the small-town life took a while for him to get used to. Thus, Tim liked to patrol the neighborhood, self-identifying as the Sheriff of Paradise, keeping an eye out for mischief.

Recently, Tim noticed evidence of some mischief in the form of knocked over garbage cans and missing or broken lawn ornaments. Minor things that could potentially be explained away by blaming the occasional trash panda searching for a midnight snack. Like a dog with a bone, Tim was unwilling to chalk it up to mischievous racoons and began recruiting neighbors to join him in keeping an eye on the neighborhood.

That’s how you found yourself seated on a couch in Tim’s living room, squeezed between the broad shouldered forms of Benny and Frankie, with other neighbors scattered around room. Tim stood in front of the small group with a dry erase marker in hand; a large whiteboard perched on a chair next to him.

“Thank you all for your interest in keeping this neighborhood safe. There have been several concerning things happening lately and I would like for us to make a collective effort in heading them off before things escalate,” Tim began.

His speech continued and the sudden vision of Scruff McGruff the Crime Dog popped into your head. You barely managed to stifle your laughter.

Out of the corner of your eye, you caught Benny flashing Frankie an incredulous look and mouthing “Is this guy for real?”

You wondered the same thing but kept those thoughts to yourself and listened as Tim continued.

“I took the liberty of assigning teams of two and setting patrol schedules,” he said, turning to the whiteboard. The sound of the dry erase marker squeaking across the board was the only noise in the room for a solid five minutes as you all stared at Tim’s back.

This dude was intense.

Frankie’s knee started bouncing next to you, jostling the cushion a little. Smiling warmly, you reached out a hand, placing it just above his knee to get him to stop. The warmth of his skin flowed through his jeans, igniting a fire inside your belly as his wide eyes shot to you, a hesitant smile on his face as he mouthed “Sorry”.

Tim spun around and called out the pairings then, breaking the eye contact between you and Frankie. Your breath caught when he announced your name and Frankie’s as the third team. Frankie beamed at you and bumped your shoulder.

“Looks like we’re a team,” he said, dark eyes shooting to frown at Benny over your shoulder for a moment. You turned to see what Benny did, but the man just grinned and winked at you.

“Yeah,” you replied, still a little flustered from the heat bubbling in your core. Jesus, could you not think of anything witty to say?

Tim called the meeting to an end ten minutes later – thank the fucking Lord above! – and you followed Frankie outside. He and Benny basically walked you to your door just to say hi to Joshua.

Your happy fur baby bounded down the front steps to say hi the moment you opened the door, tail wagging so hard his whole booty shook with the effort.

“No jumping, Joshua!” you called with a laugh as Benny practically fell to the ground to play with him.

After getting a few pets in, Frankie left the rambunctious pup to wrestle with Benny while he moved closer to you. “He’s really just a big kid,” he said with a chuckle.

“I can see that,” you replied, meeting Frankie’s chocolate eyes as a smile spread across your lips. Damn, he was gorgeous, and you could easily get lost in those eyes.

“So, uh, looks like our first neighborhood watch shift is tomorrow night from 9 ‘til midnight,” Frankie said as you both watched the makeshift WWE match happening in your little front yard.

“Yeah, that’s past my normal bedtime so it will be your job to keep me awake,” you responded with a laugh and a shrug of the shoulders. “Sad, but true.”

“Not a night owl? Me either. I’m sure I can come up with a few ways to keep you awake,” Frankie replied boldly, though a blush crept up his neck into his face.

You shot him a mock scandalized look before collapsing into laughter. “Yeah, I’m sure you could.” After a beat, you steered the conversation back to the neighborhood watch. “What do we need to do on this shift? I’ve never been part of something like this and, to be honest, I tuned out half of what Tim droned on about.”

Frankie’s smile widened until the dimple in his cheek popped, drawing your eyes. “That guy sure could talk, huh?” When you nodded, he added, “I guess we just walk around and make sure nothing’s happening. I’ll meet you here tomorrow night with flashlights in case we need them, feel free to bring Joshua. Nothing will get past the three of us.”

True to his word, Frankie stood at the base of your walkway at five minutes to 9 pm with a backpack containing bug spray, water, snacks, and flashlights. Joshua bounded towards him the moment you opened the door – you should have known to put his leash on first, but you were just as eager as the pup to see the handsome man waiting for you.

After handing you a flashlight, Frankie gestured for Joshua’s leash, clipping it to the dog’s collar and gripping it tightly in his right hand. You let Joshua lead the way, stopping every so often so he could sniff at something interesting.

You weren’t nervous, per say, but you did have some concerns about how awkward these three hours might be. Those concerns were all for naught as conversation flowed easy and free between the two of you as you both asked and answered questions about each other.

Frankie told you a little about his time in the military and how he met Benny and his other friends. He shared about his current job working on helicopters and trying to get his pilot’s license back after some misunderstandings. You told him about ditching your old life to start fresh, how your ex turned out to be controlling and isolated you from your friends. You told him about your new job and how happy you were to be in control of your own life again.

“Sounds like that guy was a real asshole. Me and the boys could go kick his ass for you, if you wanted.”

You appreciated the offer but turned it down. Instead, you asked about his love life. “You mean my complete lack of one?” Frankie replied teasingly.

“Hmmm,” you hummed distractedly. Something seemed off about Stella’s front garden. Your eyes narrowed, searching the shadows from the streetlights and Frankie followed your gaze, brows furrowed.

“That wasn’t like that when we passed by on our last lap,” he said as you both took in the destruction. Potted plants toppled over, some clay pots shattered, leaves ripped from shrubs, flowers crushed, and sporadic holes dug in the topsoil.

In a word, it was a mess.

“No, it most definitely was not,” you replied and immediately glanced around searching for the culprit. The street was empty save for the two of you. “I don’t see anyone. Whoever did this is hiding or long gone.”

“We better write this down in our notepad for Tim. He’ll want full documentation, so we can’t leave out a single detail.” Frankie pulled the small, spiral bound notepad and a pen from the front pocket of his backpack, handing them to you. At your raised brow, he shrugged with a boyish grin and added, “I’m holding a flashlight and your dog’s leash. Besides, you probably have much neater handwriting.”

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” Rolling your eyes, you accepted the items and flipped the notepad open to the first page. Noting the date, time, and location, you wrote a few notes about the destruction in Stella’s garden. After a moment, you pulled your phone from your back pocket and snapped a few pictures. Tim would appreciate the effort.

“You think I’m cute?” Frankie teased once you finished, sounding pleased as punch at the idea. You ignored him.

The rest of the night passed with no further incidents, and you waved to Frankie as he walked back to his house after handing you Joshua’s leash. Despite the exhaustion plaguing your body, your mind fixated on thoughts of Frankie for two more hours before you finally fell asleep with Joshua snuggled against your side.

Things only got stranger the next two nights you patrolled the neighborhood with Frankie.

“So, what do you do for fun, Frankie?” you asked, making conversation as you walked along the sidewalk.

“The usual, I guess. Hanging with friends, listening to music, playing the occasional video game, and having a few beers. Mostly just hang with the boys and reminisce about the old service days. Oh! And flying, of course. Can’t wait to get my license reinstated.” Frankie ran a hand along the back of his neck, a little embarrassed about how boring he sounded. “How about you?”

“Oh, you know, the same stuff,” you laughed. “I lead a very exciting life. I read, lounge on the couch watching reality tv shows, run in the mornings. Stuff all the cool kids do.”

“We’re an exciting pair, huh?”

“It only goes downhill from here.”

You bantered back and forth as you worked your way through the neighborhood, keeping an eye out for signs of mischief. Frankie was the first to spot the trouble in the mail area. A few mailboxes were wrenched open with envelopes and magazines ripped and scattered across the ground. Joshua sniffed at them unhelpfully.

“How’d someone even get these open?” you questioned. “They need a key.”

Frankie shrugged. “Must’ve pried them open with something. Wouldn’t be too hard, actually. These aren’t the best locking mechanisms. Here, write it down while I take some pictures.” He fished the notepad from the backpack and handed it to you, snapping photos of the mess while you jotted down observations.

“How long have you lived here?” you asked Frankie once you tidied up the mess into a small pile for the other residents to sort through in the morning.

“A few years. You?” He froze, realizing the stupidity of the question, and grimaced. “I clearly have foot in mouth disease. Forget I said that. Please.”

Waving him off with a chuckle, you told him not to fret. “Have you noticed anything like these shenanigans happening before?”

Silent for a few moments, Frankie thought about it. “Not that I recall, but I’m not too sure I paid much attention.”

“It’s weird though, right? Like all of this seems like something a couple of middle school kids would do but they wouldn’t be out this late. Shit, I haven’t even seen kids that age in this neighborhood.”

Frankie nodded. “Come to think of it, we haven’t seen any footprints or litter either. Kids always leave a mess, right? Like candy wrappers and soda cans and shit.”

The next night, things got more bizarre. Joshua stayed at home, exhausted after visiting the vet that afternoon and getting a few shots, leaving you and Frankie on your own.

Frankie spotted a light on in the detached single-car garage at Kara and Matt’s house after a few laps through the neighborhood. Both of you swore the light had been off the other times you passed by. It wouldn’t be so odd if it was a weekend night. But you knew the couple got up really early for work and there was no way one of them would be tinkering in the garage after 11 pm on a worknight.

The pair of you approached the garage warily, sounds of rummaging and glass breaking coming from inside the wooden structure. You looked to Frankie for direction. He gestured for you to stay put a couple yards back, shrugging the backpack from his shoulders, and pulled a handgun from the front pocket.

Your eyes widened at the sight of the weapon. “What are you gonna do with that?” you whispered as he handed you the bag.

“Nothing unless I have to,” Frankie replied quietly and edged closer to the garage. He crept up to the garage door, trying to peek through the dirt smudged windows, but it was impossible to see anything. Instead, he slowly made his way around toward the side of the garage.

A few steps from the corner, his foot caught on a stray cinderblock, causing him to trip with a yelp. The sound within the garage ceased, immediately followed by a scramble and rustling in the wooded area behind the garage. By the time Frankie righted himself and turned the corner, who- or whatever it had been in the garage was gone. A small window on the side of the garage sat open and Frankie peered inside, finding utter destruction within the garage.

“Well?” you inquired from your position. “Anything?”

“Nothing but a mess. I didn’t see anyone and there was nowhere for someone to hide.” He motioned you over now that it was clear. Slipping the weapon back into the bag, Frankie pulled out his phone and took photos through the window.

Gazing at the window, you said, “I can’t imagine they leave this open like this. It must be a person, right? How would an animal get a window like this open? Or turn on the light?”

Frankie shrugged. “I have no fucking clue. We should let Tim know about this. He’ll want to talk to Kara and Matt in the morning.”

Sliding the window shut, Frankie led you from the property.

“This is just getting ridiculous,” Benny muttered from the backseat. “I can’t believe that dickhead has us on a fuckin’ stakeout on a Friday night. Who died and made him Sheriff of fuckin’ Palmingham.”

“Sheriff of Palmingham,” you repeated with a guffaw. “Good one, Benny boy.”

You, Benny, and Frankie were parked at one end of the street in Frankie’s truck, with a few other neighbors stationed at the other end. A stakeout was Tim’s brilliant idea to finally catch the culprit terrorizing the otherwise quiet neighborhood. He created a few teams and stationed them at the end of the two main streets of the small neighborhood. Tim wanted the culprit caught tonight.

The first thing you learned about stakeouts was they were boring as fuck. If not for the company of two handsome men, you’d have been banging your head against the dashboard after the first fifteen minutes. After the first hour of staring through the windows, you and Frankie resorted to playing a variation of twenty questions.

“What is your favorite food?”

“To make or to order out?” you questioned. When Frankie rolled his eyes playfully, you added, “What? There’s a big difference!”

Nodding his head, Frankie laughed. “Ok, if you say so. Tell me both then.”

Sitting back in your seat, you tapped your chin with a finger. “Salmon to cook and beef wellington or scallops to order out. What about you?”

Benny watched from the backseat as the two of you went on and on. “For fuck’s sake, I feel like a third wheel on a first date,” he complained. “Will you just ask her out already?”

“Damnit, Benny,” Frankie growled. Enjoying the conversation with you so much, he almost forgot his friend was even there.

“You want some cheese to go with that whine, Ben Ben?” you teased. “I know little girls who whine less than you.”

“You want some cheese with that whine,” Benny mocked in a high-pitched voice. Leaning forward in his seat, Benny perched his chin on the back of the front bench seat, a shit-eating grin playing across his lips. “You know, if you like Salmon for the omega 3 fatty acids, my boy Fish here has some mega D fatty acid for you. It’s a lot better, or so I’ve heard.”

“What the fuck, Benny?!” Frankie exclaimed as your mouth dropped open in shocked amusement. He glared over his shoulder at the younger man before looking at you with dark, pleading eyes. “Please ignore this fucking idiot.”

“Come on, man. That shit was funny!” Benny insisted, broad shoulders shaking with laughter.

You patted Frankie’s thigh reassuringly. “I mean, it is pretty freaking hilarious, I’ll give him that. And Fish? Is that your nickname or something?”

“At least your girl has a sense of humor.” Benny slumped back in his seat at Frankie’s scowl.

Still staring down his friend in the rearview mirror, Frankie explained the call signs from their army days. Movement down the block drew his attention mid-sentence and he drifted to a stop. “Can you guys see that?”

You reached for the binoculars sitting on the dash, raising them to your eyes to peer into the distance. Something darted from the shadows into an area of the street brightened by a streetlight, and you gasped.

 “It’s a fucking monkey!”

The rest of the night turned into a shitshow as the three of you chased a small monkey – a capuchin, you guessed – around the neighborhood. After a quick call to Tim, the other neighbors on stakeout joined you in the effort to capture the mischievous little bugger. Shortly before dawn, someone found the monkey asleep on a low-hanging tree limb and scooped the thing up, quickly containing him in a travel pet crate.

Exhausted yet exhilarated, you walked toward your house when a sudden commotion sounded a couple doors down. Ann and John rushed from their home, frantically searching for something in the yard.

“Where could he have gone?” Ann called out to John.

“How did he even get out?” John yelled back, moving to search the backyard.

Pausing mid-step, you turned toward where Frankie stood talking to Tim. The capuchin monkey sat in a pet crate at the former cop’s feet as they talked about what to do with it. Eyes narrowing, you looked back at the older couple scouring their yard.

The pieces clicked into place, and you rushed over to Frankie. “Hey, uh, I think this little cutie belongs to Ann and John,” you said, pointing over your shoulder. “They’re searching for a missing pet, and it seems awfully coincidental.”

Sure enough, the older couple were searching for the little monkey named Cosmo, who they were pet sitting for their grandson. The little rascal had been sneaking out each night to wreak havoc on the neighborhood out of boredom. Cosmo was used to a much higher level of activity than the older couple could offer. Thankfully, the grandson was coming later that day to take Cosmo home.

“Hey, you wanna come over for some brunch?” you asked Frankie once all the drama wrapped up, not wanting to part from him just yet. You really enjoyed his company and wanted to get to know him even more. “I’m thinking pancakes and mimosas. What do you think?”

“I, uh, think that sounds like a perfect first date,” he replied with a shy smile, one hand lifting his cap as the other combed through his curls.

“Oh yeah? I think this might count as a third date given all the time we’ve spent alone together this week.”

Frankie’s lips spread until his smile split his face and his dark eyes burned with want. “Third date, huh? Do you have a rule about third dates?”

“Why don’t you come in and find out?” Grasping his large hand in yours, you led him inside.

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

An important life tip for parents who block your wifi on PC/laptop (Windows 10)

I found a workaround that's suiting me so far. How it works is, wifi is blocked through the router by detecting your computer's IP address, and blocking said address. Now, it seems complicated because there are tons of methods to use for changing your IP. But so you don't have to go through the same steps every time, do this:

Make sure you're connected to a wifi network that you're blocked on. You can check by going to the Windows search bar, type "settings", hit enter, and select "Network & Internet".

It will show you the network you're currently connected to. If it says "connected, no internet" or something along those lines, you're good for the next step.

Next, go to the tab on the left labeled "WiFi". There, you will see a setting labeled "Random hardware address", and a slider beneath it that is most likely greyed out. Select it, making sure it turns blue.

Then, you're going to hit the tab on the left labeled "Status". From there, just beneath where it says you're connected to a router without internet, click the grey button labeled "properties".

Where it says "Network profile", click the "Public" setting, so that other devices in the house cannot discover your computer or connect to it, and therefore reach its files and settings.

And lastly, scroll down to the section labeled "Random hardware address". There is a drop down menu. Open the menu, and select "Change daily". This will change your IP address on a daily basis, meaning your computer will be unblocked until the IP is discovered, but once the next day arrives, it will change again and unblock it.

Hope this helps y'all as it helped me. Do not let fucking shit block you from the most essential resource in the modern world. Internet connects you to every necessary thing in existence. It's a basic necessity at this point, by ethical standards. Regain access to it however you can, wherever you can, whenever you can.

[ayeforscotland]

Hi! Saw your Data flow posts, and just asking to check if I've understood correctly: is the issue here (I'm some of the examples you mentioned about a project not working because they had discounted something, for instance) what's succinctly represented in the xkcd Dependency?

https://xkcd.com/2347/

Just so folk don't have to follow the link - here is the xkcd

So this is a great example of a dependency, something that's vital to a single or multiple other processes or assets.

'Impact Analysis' is something that organisations need to do either to preempt something going wrong in order to build contingencies OR something that organisations need to be able to understand *when* something goes wrong.

But while the comic above is focused on modern digital infrastructure (which in the context I refer to Dataflow is more focused on Routers and Switches), it's worth noting that dependencies across organisations are a lot broader than that.

For example:

Person A needs to provide a report to person B so person B can do their job - That is a dependency

Person A needs to use App 1 to write the report but is dependent on the data from App 2 to actually write the report - That is also a dependency

Person A needs to use 'Laptop FW131' but spilled coffee over it at lunch and now it won't turn on - That is a dependency

Person A has found a back-up laptop 'Laptop FW132' but office WiFi is down because the finance department haven't paid the internet provider - Also a dependency

Seeing those examples, you might say, "But in that case, literally anything could be a dependency? What if Person A gets hit by a bus? What if the Laptop explodes and burns the building down?"

And yeah, that's absolutely the case. But if you do not understand the connections and dependencies between People, Business Processes and Technology Assets then you won't be able to ask the question in the first place. Which in an increasingly complex digital world is becoming much more important!

Hope that helps, any questions on the back of that please don't hesitate to ask because I live for this stuff.

[simpingforbots]

Big scary grandpa – part 3

You stared at the big map stapled to the sign that showed what the small camping ground offered wth curiosity and a note of excitement. This place was surprisingly somewhat modern – they had designated areas for restroom and showers,  a separate cabin for laundry room, that also seemd to store some arcade and a small store, a bar and grill that adults prohibited kids to even approach (you thing that they just want to have some space away from all the kids and their troubles), a big pond for swimming, a smaller one for fishing, connecting to a passing by river, basketball/football area, playground, dumpster area. You can guess that the laundry room was already flooded with your classmates as it most likely had wi-fi in there, making you quietly grin to your self as you had a very good deal with your parents, getting your own pocket router as long as you keep your grades up, which is not that hard, plus being a proud “teachers Pet”.

Your eyes wondered from the map, checking all the other posters stapled to the wooden poster, protected by the plastic display from weather – most of them were about wild birds and some animals, list of rules and a kind nor asking to clean after them self you inhaled deeply, taking in sweet scent of clear air, able to smell something sweet hanging around and looked to the side, focusing on one of two vending machines by the sign they still worked and offered a fine selection of chips, sweets, nuts and a range of cold drinks in another. All it needed was a special token you were all given immideatly upon you arrival – a small coin with tree engraved, allowing you to do laundry, play arcades or by drinks, though there was also simple rules: do not spend all in one place and that you can earn it for doing something, be it as simple as helping teacher around the camp or completing tasks set in the beginning of the day, with list being posted in the main tent. In hindsight it seamed like a good idea and moment to teach young generation money responsibility and prepare them for the future life, how ever some students took it as a greenlight to just go wild and they ran in to arcade. You sighed, smacking your dry lips and gripped you water flask.

On one hand a though of a snack and cold Coke sounded noice, on the other you will be spending money in something that you will be provided by your teachers and you can safe the coins for something useful, like washing machine, tie-pods, and some sanitary things in case you will need it and something told you will cus even your own body hates you. Sighing, you decided to go and refeel your water bottle and taking a swing while looking around you already ’ve seen that someone offered 5 coins to help with making food so you decided to head there to offer a helping hand to designated chef of this trip, who seemed more then happy to put you to work – pealing and chopping some vegetables for upcoming evening meal.

Soon enough the sun slowly hid behind the horizon, the last warm ray of light disappearing behind the trees, letting biting chill of night slowly take over and gathering every one around the fire pit to enjoy the warmth of dancing orange flames and warm meal the area immideatly coma to live with chatter and laughter, along with some people time to time singing along to an old guitars tune played by one of teachers, time to time taking request. Right now theyr were playing an old classic – Don’t stop believing with every one joining in for the good part. You sighed happily, whispering along all while watching majestic and mysterious dance if flames, intrigued by the story it hid behind all while red hot ash slowly rose high up to join the older fiery sibling in the night sky, getting their own spot in story maps of the cosmos. Out here the stars seemd to glow even brighter, something that you could started forever if you could, shivering a bit as cold chill ran up the spine, you gripped papper bowl a bit tighter, soaking in the warmth of food while slowly picking the spoon up and humming quietly at the flavour of the food. The moment seamed very peaceful and warm, making you sigh with content, relaxing and worming in the light of flames, time to time sipping on a can of coke teacher handed out.

It did not take to long though for the drinks to ran out and teachers started whispering between them selfs, pondering on who to send to get more drinks for the rest of the class as kids started asking for more, and that mostly adults really did not wanted to leave safety and warmth of the campfire. You listened for a bit, listening to their whispers, trying to keep to your elf, yet your heart gave up and you sighed, closing your eyes in frustration at your self for being so kind, putting your plate on the seat you just left, feeling cold biting your lower part already, lifting your hand and offering to go get drinks. It seemed that also being a Teachers Pet played a good roll with teachers giving you a hefty amount of tokens, saying that you can keep it in case shop is closed, sending you in to darkness to follow the path to the small shop. Shivering and pulling hoody of shark hoodie you liked over your head, you ventured in to the darkness, with your phone acting as a small flashlight to shine your path to the building ten muinets away, why was it so far you relay did not care, just wanitng to get this over with.

Who knew human can obsess over paperwork so much, letting a quite grumble and feeling his cooling system kick in to over dive, Megatron rubbed his face, unable to even look at the documents anymore or he will get an error in his processor, pushing data pad to the side. Karen piled this documents on him after they all failed to catch Mandroid, once again, with this document acting like some kind of punishment. Grumbling and stretching in the chair he was resting on, he could feel his inner system stretch pleasantly, checking his messages he got a few from one of Terrans – Twitch and Hashtag, proudly showing of their daily activities. Big bot smiled as he swiped though pictures of sparkling and kids having fun and from what he can guess annoying Bumblebee to no end. It warmed his spark to see young generation not worrying about anything and just having fun. Speaking of young generation. Getting up, Megatron walked out of his room, scaning his surroundings for unwanted eyes, making sure no human or bot saw him leave. Clear. With that he quietly left the base and headed towards small camp site. It was already dark by the time he left so it was not big surprise to see every human gathered around a campfire, getting louder as they sang along or just talked to each other. It did not take to long to find the little human he was looking for, huddled in to blanket and slowly enjoying the meal, eyes glued to the fire and it’s dance. It will be hard to outright come out there to just speak to you as his past reputation still haunted him and most humans did not fancy him like Terrance and Malto’s did. Hell, Karen was only acting nice to him because he was useful, Megatron was sure of it.

Grumbling and scratching his metal chin, Megatron kneeled down, his silver paint easily helping him hide in the dark of the forest, especialy that the only source of light aorund this whole place was campfire. He kept watching for a bit, as before, you kept to your self, yet still did your best to be part of the social group, singing along to some songs old bot recognized, smiling widely. Soon you seemd to be troubled by something, listening intently and then getting up, turning to face adults, taking something from them and then leaving the safety of the fire and walking in to the forest, your small phone acting as the only source of light to shine the path. Why did you left he really did not care as he was pleasantly surprised by such sudden action, quietly following behind, making sure to not make much ruckus as humans tend to get spooked easily and he does not want to scare you. It was surprisingly easy to scare humans with just his presence alone, so moving quietly through the forest and just watching you walk though the forest, his presence scaring wild animals who grew accustomed to humans away, making sure it was even more safer, even if the animals were harmless at first sight. You walked over to some building, all while muttering something to your self all the way, hyping your self in to false sense of security and make your self braver, sadly though your bravery wont pay off as the building was closed, sending you back in to the dark forest. And back to him... maybe now be the good time to make him self known?

You jumped at every branch snap and leaf rustle, scared that something will jump out at you, your heart ponding a milling beats per second, echoing in your own scull. Why, why did you had to be so “brave” as to offer your help and go away from the fire? All those scary stories you listened are now flooding back in to your mind to hunt you. Slowly but surely you made it to the shop, only to find the lights were out. Walking up and peaking in, you can see no-one was inside and the sign on the window clearly spelled closed, meaning you will have t go back empty handed, your shoulders drop with regret and started your journey back. Only this time the forest seemd to be to quite your footstep on gravel echoing to loud even for you now, making you be on guard as far to many stories you read warned that when ever the forest goes quite it means nothing good. Eyes skipping all over the place, you could feel anxiety digging in to your guts with it’s dead-cold claws, slowly speeding up your walk until in the corner of your eyes you noticed something move in the shadows and you turned your head, only to freeze in spot. In the darkness of the forest two red orbs floated high above you, focused on you, unmoving and terrifying, making your blood run cod. Your brain was throwing every thing at you and it took a second for you to inhale deeply and let a scream out and turn aorund to run, only to immideatly trip over your own two feet, stumbling and faceplanting in to the gravel with a loud “FUCK”. You tried scrambling up, forgetting every thing, fuck the dignity, hell you ready to crawl like a dog just to get away from what ever nightmare creature resides in the forest, only seemed that luck was not on your side as something hard quickly wrapped around you and started lifting you up. You fought and kicked all you could, screams muffled by huge hands carefully plased over your head and you can feel the thing move, but you did not give up help, even if you fall and break or twist your leg, you are getting out of here. You twisted and turned, pushed and kicked, time to time able to feel that you were sleeping out of the grasp only to be readjusted and something slid up and down, a soft noise trying to calm you down, but you did not give up. YOU are NOT dying today!

Following you, you seemd to be alert and Megatron took a step forward, kneeling down, ready to call out to you when you spun so suddenly it shocked even him. It took seconds for you to start screaming very loudly and  dart away only to trip over your own peds and fall on your face. Worried, Megatron quickly reached for you, wrapping his hands and pressing close to his chest, shushing you and trying to clam you down by slightly sliding his servo up and down your back, trying to muffle your scream with another. Someone clearly heard your scream as he can her someone calling out, sending his processor in to overdrive and purely out of panic he flees in to the forest, carrying you with him. Primus who knew humans were this active and slipper, almost loosing grip far to many times, still trying to calm you down, yet soon decided to let your run out of steam while wrapping both his hands around you, sort of caging and leaving only legs dangling out, and seems like having you squished calmed you down more effective as you stopped moving so much, but not completely. He kept walking away from the camp, quickly loosing it and any-one who tired to see what was going, finding a quite spot and seating down on the rock. This is not how he expected things to go, nor to traumatize you to death. Still holding you to his chest, he hummed quietly, feeling you tier out eventually, carefully pulling you away from his chest. You are a strong one to scream and kick this loud for so long, but now could barley move, chest falling and rising with quick pace, finally looking up, eyes wide, only this time not from fear, but shock and confusion, one of little hands gripping on his digits. Letting a sigh of relief, Megatron looked at them with soft and concerned eyes.

“You alright little one? I did not mean to scare you”

“Mr Megatron? What- what’s going on?” you slowly moved, trying to seat up and have a more comfortable position after being squished, even if not to tightly, it still was not to comfortable “You scared me! I though I was gonna die!”

“And I am sorry for this... Must say, almost dropped you few times with how hard you tried to get out, I must applaud you for this.” He coked his head to the side slightly, eyes focused on you, on how you place a small hand on your chest, slowly moving his thumb as to not scare such fragile being even more, yet you did seemd to flinch just for a second, out of instinct as soon as he touched your back, rubbing it slightly and you letting your guard down. “I was passing by and saw fire, though it was some wildfire. I know how bad they can get”

“Ah” you inhaled deeply and sighed, leaning in to soft touch. And not because it was the warmest lace aorund as of now. “Sorry”

“For?” a bit taken back, old mech blinked rapidly why is the little one apologising when he is the one in the wrong.

“I... I don’t know. Its good to see you. How are you?” you quickly changed the topic, looking around to get down. Even if it was Megatron and not creature of nightmares you prefer to be on solid ground, plus it felt a bit.. wired to be held by bigger being. Not in bad way, you just felt uncomfortable, like when you in someone’s home and try to be polite, seating on the edge of the sofa. Yet you also did not wanted to leave because of the warmth.

“I am doing well. How will be you? I was looking forward to seeing you again it’s getting a bit lonely when you have no one to speak with”

“What? I though you and Optimus were good friends? No offence” you added quickly.

“It’s get tiering to talk to him time to time” Megatron sighed and rolled his opticks, not that he did not like Optimus, it just time to time he needs break from him and talking to the same person for so long can get tiering, plus terrance are more interested in other stories and it’s nice to have to talk to some one new. “And I did enjoy our last talk, so I was looking to the next one. Found any other interesting books in archives?”

“Not really. Most of them I read though already” you confessed “Do you have any new once? “

Megatron smiled, quickly settling you on his lap to free his hand. Indeed he had, with all the time he spend reading though archives, and he was more then glad to share it with you, going in to all about them. Hearing all the stories he had brought, you quickly forgot where you were seating, bringing legs under you, seating in lotus position, listening intent fully to every word, time to time even asking few questions when some things did not made any scense to you.

“Did you guys had any mythology?” you finally asked, coking your head to the side and letting a cold shiver run though your body. Megaron seemed to notise it, nudging you jently close to his body and you quickly leaned in to his torso, soaking the warmth he radiated. It was expected as his was a big metal being with all the machinery that you can now hear quietly working inside of him, cliking, shifting and whirring inside, producing heat and warmth that you more than happy to borrow from the big bot, who also seamed not to greedy about sharing.

“We did, we had stories surrounding 13 primes. I am sure you read about them already in one of the book of yours”

“Yeah!” you felt a yawn coming in, quickly turning away and covering your mouth, blinking a bit as small tears formed in your eyes. It was late after all and you had a strict bed time you put upon your self, doing your best to follow it, yet you pushed your self though, after all who knew when will be the next chance you can see Megatron again “13 primes – one of the first cybertronians created by Prime, right?”

“Mhm.” Megatron nodded “they had a lot of stories following them and achievements. Young ones seemd to have favourites, do you?”

“yeah. I like Solus! She sounded badass” you smiled and tried to show that you were still awake, yet your body was slowly giving up and the warmth from the bot did not helped your cause.

“I though so” Megatron chuckled, moving you a bit closer, wrapping his hand aorund your shoulder and could feel you melt in to the palm, letting another yawn escape your body, shaking your head a bit and blinking rapidly to blink the sleep away. Bot let a quiet sigh escape his system, eyes softening at the small human sparkling resting on his lap, half asleep, trying to talk more about history, yet bot also knew how to lull any sparkling to sleep, not against you falling asleep on him. “I have some stories about her, would you like to hear them?”

“Yeah!” you quickly woke up, eyes glinting with interest about what stories did Megatron had cus you did not find much in library and Megatron was more then happy to oblige, starting his tale about what was going between Primes, especialy Megtaronus and Solus relation ship. He kept talking, keeping a watchful eye as he can see sleep slowly taking over once more, you nodding off, thoug still fighting squinting slightly, raising his temperature just a bit, and yet it all it took for you to finely give up, yawning last time, murmuring something under your breath, as if trying to still be part of conversation, time between blinking getting longer and he can see how hard it was becoming for you to keep your eyes open, leaning in to the body and not even protesting as he started slowly rubbing your back with his thumb, drawing circles in your back and feel your little heart slowing down. Soon enough you closed your eyes, falling asleep, making old bot’s spark warm up. Why are the younglings look so peaceful and cute when they are asleep he does not understand, but he will not fight it. He jus set there, looking up at the sky to stare at those glowing orbs of light, wondering just what would happened if he never started the war. Letting a long sight though his vents, he slowly lifted you up, your entire body limp like a ragdoll, limbs swinging slightly at the movement while he cradled you to his chest, you curling up and turning a bit in his palm, string just for a bit before settling in completely again, letting a long sigh of content.

“Hm” Megatron hummed, slightly coking his head, letting a soft smile escape him. He can’t wait to introduce you to other kids, just has to time it right, for now he will just seat here, doing his best to not let intrusive though of just carrying you to base win. Well it was sort of logical as the base was much wormer and safer then the camp, especialy with Mandroid still loose. It relay was the mostly logical thing in this moment, stirring in his processor – leaving you in such feeble shelter like your tent really did not sit well, but you were also surrounded by others and adults, who most likely were worried and scared after hearing a scream, letting a small grunt, he set just for a bit longer, before getting up, big bot placed another hand over you, caging and shielding from cold wind as he began walking back towards camp.

To his surprise no one seemd to panic and adults were enjoying cheep wine by the dying fire alone after sending other kids to sleep. A bit worried how they were not panicked about a sudden yell coming from forest, but with so many teens he can guess that they took it as not so good prank. Keeping down, he snuck towards your camp, thankful that you placed it close to the forest, pulling the “doors” open and manoeuvring you inside on soft bedding and making sure to cover you, not wishing for you to catch any cold. For a second he felt your little hand clasp on to his digits, refusing to let go, making him smile and turn away. Why you have to be so cute... okay that is it, he is introducing you to Malto kids this week!

[kedreeva]

My Netflix connection is horrible, and I had to physically fight my router to do it, but I watched the Residence and oh my god. Beautiful perfect amazing, no notes. Would love to sit quietly while detective Cupp bird watches.

yes yes yessss!!! I'm so proud of your perseverance!

I would also sit quietly while she bird watches, and help her gaze into the abyss (fumbling with binoculars) looking for birds.

[flowery-mess]

Hi, it’s me again with another nerd boy thought because I love him 😭

What if you live with nerd Noah? He’s your to-go guy when anything breaks or glitches in the house. And I mean anything.

He’s chilling on the couch, soft music in the background blending with the rapid tapping of the buttons on his controller as he’s fully absorbed in the game he’s playing. Utter bliss.. Until—

“Noowaaaah…”, your voice echos from down the hall in that familiar drawn-out whine.

He pauses the game right away, already chuckling. He sets the controller down with a sigh, one that holds exactly zero annoyance and gets up. He walks to the bedroom where you’ve cozied up under the blanket, lights dimmed, your laptop on the bed next to you, a buffering wheel on the screen as it sits frozen mid-scene on the show you’re watching. He leans against the doorframe, with an amused smile, his arms crossed as you look at him with a desperate frown.

“The WiFi is DEAD! I was just about to find out if they kissed and it froze. I need to know if they kissed, Noah.”

He can’t hold his chuckle as he hears your whiney overdramatic pleas, your head falling back on the pillow in an exaggerated attempt to show him how important this is to you.

“Did you try—“

“Turning it off and on again?”, you interrupt him, knowing exactly what he’s gonna say, having heard him ask that same question countless times at work, “Yes, I did. I refreshed it, turned the WiFi off and on, even tried threatening it. And nothing!”

“Did you unplug it?”

Pause.

You were too cosy in bed to get up and unplug it. He knew that. He leans over kissing the top of your head before he crouches next to the wall outlet unplugging the router and plugging it back in. And in a few seconds, lo and behold, the WiFi is working again.

“My hero!”, you clap your hands excitedly and that never fails to make him feel like the most important person in the world. And no matter how many times you’ve said that before he’s still blushing and smiling like the first time. You tug at his sleeve looking up at him with pleading eyes, and he knows what you want without you even having to say it. He lifts the blanket getting into bed, opens his arms for you so you can snuggle up against him while he takes the laptop onto his lap and presses play. He also kinda wants to know if they kissed or not.

Hi, so you just described what would it look like if I lived with nerd Noah🤓

He just sat down and let out a big sigh “Finally!” after long day of work, finally he has some time for himself.

Well, for like 10 seconds. Because it was busy day at work for everyone and you’re maybe still not really used to living together, so you both go and do your own thing separately to gain energy to spend the evening together doing something fun.

You just laid down and wanted to finish the episode from the previous night, to finally find out if they’ll kiss, but the wifi connection is not working.

You wait a few seconds to hear if Noah says something or if he gets up to fix it, but it seems like his game is working just fine.

So you yell “Nowaaah” with the last energy you have in you, knowing he will come with a smile on his face, because he always does when you call him Nowah. He won’t admit it, but he’s always smiling and blushing, he can’t hide it.

He leans against the doorframe (a/n: hot) and there it is, the smile on his face. And of course he’s gonna ask you if you turned it on and off (a/n2: why do they always ask that?).

When he sees your pout and falling back into your pillow he thinks about how he managed to pull someone like you. You’re in HIS bed, in HIS hoodie, asking HIM for help and you’re gonna fall asleep next to HIM.

He definitely laughs at “even tried threatening it”, because he caught you many times talking to any device with threats like “I’m gonna throw you out of the window if you don’t start working right now!” and he finds it adorable.

Pause - may I add that the pause included the most innocent smile and little head shake “no” under the blanket.

He unplugs it, waits a few seconds and then plugs it again, he waits for the lights to stop blinking and turn to green. After they do your show starts again and he can hear your little clapping you always give him when he fixes something. To him it’s always an easy fix, so he finds your reaction funny.

You tug at his sleeve and give him the pout and puppy eyes that always work, always.

You cuddle into his side and feel butterflies in your stomach, because he loves to play video games with his friends every night, so every time he does something with you instead, even if it’s watching your favorite show, you feel them in your stomach.

Either way if they kiss or don’t, you hold your breath and then yell “I knew it!”

And then Noah realises that he hasn’t watched a few episodes with you so he asks you what did he miss. You sit up, because it’s serious business, and tell him about the storyline from what he saw last. He doesn’t really care, but he loves it when you talk about your favorite things, he likes how you talk passionately about it, tell him about every detail he missed, how you add your little thoughts on the scenario and how in the end you ask him for his opinion.

He doesn’t really realise it, but he loves it the same way you love when he’s talking about his things. You both listen to the other one and watch them with hearts in your eyes. The other one always thinks they’re being annoying and talking too much, completely oblivious that the other one would listen forever

[postoctobrist]

hey I have trouble getting my gender to connect to wifi, I’ve tried restarting the router

press in and hold your gender for three seconds (the indicator light should start flashing yellow) then wait 20 seconds and try again