#constantly complaining about negativity is going to attract more...

[starlight-vixen-emiko]

I wish I knew this earlier but I feel the next time someone throws a fit at me and claims I am "spreading negativity" I should say "Yeah...You certainly are a magnet for negativity aren't you? You probably deserved that for being such a selfish self-serving person!"

[roakkaliha]

KOITO YUU and ALEXITHYMIA

What is Alexithymia?

To put it simply, alexithymia is a neuropsychological phenomenon in which a person has difficulties identifying and describing emotions in oneself or others. ‘Disorders of affect regulation: alexithymia in medical and psychiatric illness’ describes four main components that alexithymia is traditionally defined by:

 difficulty identifying feelings (DIF)

difficulty describing feelings to other people (DDF)

a stimulus-bound, externally oriented thinking style (EOT)

constricted imaginal processes (IMP)*

*note that IMP has been largely left out of research studies and assessment tools for various reasons.

A person with alexithymia may often have difficulties distinguishing between emotions and the bodily sensations of emotional arousal, for example, they can tell they’re anxious due to the physical symptoms that follow anxiety rather than feeling anxious as an emotion. This makes specifically positive emotions difficult to identify, as there are rarely such physical symptoms. This can make it feel like they’re constantly unhappy, or just emotionally dull.

People with alexithymia can sometimes seem as though they go through life ‘as robots’, thinking things through from a logical point of view with very little emotional input. They often have trouble describing emotions in themselves and others outside of adjectives like ‘happy’ and ‘unhappy’. Many people with alexithymia are often described as indecisive, tending to defer to someone else when asked or going by what they’ve deemed the more socially acceptable option.

Who is Koito Yuu?

Koito Yuu is the main protagonist of the 2010’s manga and anime series Bloom Into You (aka Yagate Kimi Ni Naru) by Nakatani Nio. She’s a first year high school girl who joins the student council, where she meets the school heartthrob Nanami Touko.

Yuu overhears Touko rejecting a male classmate’s love confession, and seeks her out for advice on turning down a boy who confessed to her at the end of junior high. The reason Yuu is drawn to Touko is her claiming that she has no intentions of going out with anyone, due to her inability to feel anything towards her suitors, something that Yuu relates to.

A central part of Yuu’s character is her perceived inability to fall in love, and how she eventually wants to fall in love with Touko regardless. She comes to the conclusion that she simply cannot fall in love after the confession she received at the end of junior high made her feel nothing, as opposed to the feelings she was expecting to feel as described by all the shoujo manga she reads.

When Touko reveals that she’s fallen in love with Yuu, Yuu agrees to keep letting Touko love her and indulging her with kissing and cuddling, despite her supposed inability to love Touko back and not being a couple.

How does Alexithymia show in Yuu’s character?

Over the course of the series it’s shown that Yuu has issues identifying positive emotions in herself, but seems capable of doing so with some more negative emotions. She openly displays and talks about discomfort regarding public speaking and being on stage for the play, meaning that she can identify being uncomfortable well. She seems to feel some level of jealousy, though she never appears to verbalize that. She also frequently complains about Touko.

The reason why her being able to identify discomfort specifically is important, is because she shows none of that regarding her ‘indulging’ Touko via kissing and cuddling. When Touko unexpectedly kisses her for the first time, Yuu specifically points out that she feels unbothered by it (and questions why). She first comes to the conclusion that it’s because of her curiosity about kissing, and ultimately realizes that she does find some solace in how it makes her feel no longer alone. She shows some level of attraction to Touko, even prior to Touko’s confession.

The only times Yuu is uncomfortable with kissing Touko (when Touko asks Yuu to be the one to kiss her after the sports festival and before the play on the rooftop), she brings it up, and her discomfort is not caused by the kiss itself but rather what it represents in those specific moments. She admits that she doesn’t dislike kissing Touko.

Yuu seems to really start realizing her feelings for Touko when Touko talks to her about her self hatred, and how she can’t love someone who loves what she hates. She’s not only uncomfortable with how Touko sees and talks about herself, but with the idea of losing Touko and their not-relationship. Discomfort is what helps her figure out her feelings towards Touko, in a way, rather than directly feeling her love for her.

It’s shown that other characters seem to be better at reading Yuu’s emotions better than she can, Maki (another first year, who is completely averse to the idea of being in a romantic relationship himself, but finds them fascinating to watch develop for others) in particular appears to be very good at this. He frequently brings up how Touko is obviously very important to Yuu, and how much she clearly cares for her. He openly disagrees with Yuu’s notion that they're the same, and calls her out on this. Maki’s words are seemingly the last push Yuu needs to begin a relationship with Touko.

Natsuki (Yuu’s childhood friend) mentions that during their time in the softball team, Yuu was the only one to never cry when they lost a match, seeming largely unaffected by it. Yuu seemed to enjoy softball and did her best on the team, but it wasn’t her passion like it was for Natsuki. She says that she wanted to ask Yuu to join her on the softball team in her school, but refrained from doing so because she knew Yuu would say yes, even if it wasn’t what she really wanted. She wanted Yuu to find something that she was actually passionate about. Natsuki describes Yuu as someone who rarely complains in earnest, and has never actually seen her get as worked up as she does talking about Touko, which she says is a sign that Touko and the student council must be very important to her.

IN CONCLUSION:

[dreeaams]

LET ME BE CLEAR, your emotions (energy in motion) ARE A MANIFESTATION. They cannot be the cause of any of your manifestation because the only thing that causes your manifestation is your mind.

So if your mind creates your manifestation what do you mean by that, you may ask? THE THOUGHTS(4D) that you are constantly thinking and your INNER DIALOGUE(4D) are the cause of your manifestations(3D).

Thoughts and inner dialogue are the same exact thing but please stop listening to those “gurus” that say “you need to feel those feelings of happiness and gratitude for it to work or that if you feel sad or mad it won’t work out.”

THAT IS COMPLETELY FALSE because your FEELINGS are the end results/a manifestation and it came from a THOUGHT/ INNER SPEECH that you were already thinking.

Example:

I know that my SP is obsessed with me but I have that disgusting feeling in my body that he doesn’t care about me because he ghosted me 2 days ago.

1. ALL CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEUTRAL, it doesn’t mean shit at all. YOU ARE THE ONE PUTTING A MEANING TO IT. Only you!

2. Because you don’t know that all circumstances are neutral you now say in your mind that oh my SP ghosted me for two days so now he doesn’t like me, he doesn’t give a fuck about me boohoohoo.

Stop fucking whining, bitching, and complaining! Why? BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONE PUTTING A MEANING TO YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES!!

3. By whining, bitching and complaining you are telling yourself that that circumstance is negative and because of that stupid belief you attract more negative events. And you also tell yourself that your SP doesn’t give a fuck about you so what happens? HE DOESNT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU.

4. What should I do instead you may ask? Great question! Know that ALL CIRCUMSTANCES ARE FUCKING NEUTRAL, ALL OF IT. Once you understand that, know that your emotion doesn’t mean shit at all because that too it is the results of your thoughts. Your emotions are neutral too they have no meaning unless you put a meaning to it.

5. In manifestation (the law of assumption to be precise) you are the one creating your own rules only you so if you think a certain way, then you are always right I promise you. Make up your own fucking rules and stop listening to all those stupid techniques that makes you more depressed and anxious.

6. Keep telling yourself that your SP is obsessed with you, “Every circumstance is leading me to my manifestation NO MATTER WHAT” you are the most important person on this earth for him, he thinks about you 24/7. Don’t forget that your imagination is the only reality and that what you see in the 3D it is a reflection.

Just understand that you are the operant power, you manifest every single second of your life with the thoughts that you think and your inner dialogue. You are the one creating the rules I promise you your life will complete turn around.

If you have more questions ask me and go watch her videos they are so fucking good she changed my life 😭 love you girlies follow me for more❤️

[httpstes]

Hii hru??<3 Can u write a little about Taurus Venus in 10H?

Hey :)) i’m doing good i just finished majority of my exams and i am so over it 😭 anyways i’ll get on with the req so y’all don’t have to hear me complain ab how much i hate school🧏🏻‍♀️

⍣♀ in 10H:

Venus in 10H individuals garner a lot of attention from everyone around them. They’re viewed as being full of love. Regardless of whether they understand the beauty they hold or not, others can easily see this. They could be seen as that one random pretty person in class or at work that everyone looks forward to seeing.

Venus in 10H individuals have really good reputations unless Venus is negatively afflicted to malefic planets. These people have something special about them that just draws others in. It’s always something unique and random as well. On a individual level, Venus 10H natives may have certain hobbies, interests, beliefs that others just find endearing. This and, well, they’re hot 🗣. Need i say more ?

Venus 10H individuals may be interested in or pursue careers to do with the arts and or cosmetology. Anything that involved you expressing you’re pure creative talent is best suited. A career where you can design, invoke desire, draw, paint, beautify etc. My aunty has this placement and she does interior design and also is like really good at cutting and styling hair ??!? Y’all have a natural inclination towards beautiful things as well as wanting to create beauty wherever you go, even if it’s on a subconscious level.

This is unless Venus apsects Pluto harshly from the 10H, this creates a dynamic of wanting to create a peaceful atmosphere but also craving destruction and wanting to see how chaotic things can get 😭

⍣Taurus Venus:

Taurus Venusians. ah i love you guys sfm. literal princes/princesses. but not one that is easily woo'd over. they have a lot of self respect and know when someone is overstepping their boundaries.

Taurus Venusians radiate such calming energy and this is why they are considered to be many people's safe space :) The best at comforting and making someone feel welcomed. They’re love language is probably gift giving/receiving and or physical touch and quality time.

One of my closest friends has this placement and she is constantly spoiled by people 😭 Do y’all attract people who like giving gifts all the time bc if so, hook me up i want some free gifts 🤭 Ofc Taurus Venusians themselves also give pretty good gifts but it’s a all or nothing type of situation. They either don’t get anything or go all out and give you the most thoughtful gift (possibly an expensive one but it’s more so thoughtful and based on things they know you want/need)

⍣Summary:

ok now putting both placements into perspective, yea ur pretty and gorgeous and i will continue to say it. Like cmon taurus, the sign of sensuality and luxury (taurus is obv much more than that but yk) and Venus in 10H, you appear aesthetically pleasing to everyone who comes by you, like you’re charisma and beauty is just so mesmerising.

Individuals with these placements definitely love artistic things and or creating art/beauty themselves. Yall be decorating your room, drawing/writing, and putting a lot of time into your makeup and skincare routine and ily for that. This is the ultimate self-love placement and they know when people are over-stepping their boundaries.

And so, both these placements equate to a individual who is not only drop dead gorgeous and literally divine, but one who won’t take shit from anyone and knows how to stand their ground. If you’re currently struggling with setting boundaries as a Taurus/Venusian, do understand that you will get there and you will prove others wrong that you are not a push over or one to be easily fooled. Keep your head high and stay stubborn I love you bitches 💗

[angelphonia]

Okay, I've been binge watching the Stop!!Hibari-kun anime and I've got some thoughts I need to let out.

Firstly, watching the anime makes me appreciate the Manga a hundred times more. Sure, the Manga had its problems, mostly the racism and the casual homophobia jokes and transphobia, but you could save stuff from it, like that even though there were homophobic jokes there was a gay woman who wasn't mocked because of her attraction to Hibari, or that despite the transphobia Hibari was never outright shown as being wrong by being herself.

Now, the anime does a lot of things I dislike. Firstly they make Kosaku's reactions be way more negative than in the Manga. While yes, he reacts negatively he is also seen blushing a lot when Hibari flirts with him. I may need to read the Manga for fourth time, but I also don't remember Kosaku constantly mentioning Hibari is a "guy" everytime she did anything.

There is a lot much more racism in the anime. There were problems with this in the Manga but it just feels way more present in the anime.

This one doesn't bother me too much, but I'm pretty sure the chapters do not align with the Manga, but again, this doesn't bother me.

I also noticed way more incest jokes, I don't care about them. Also the Seiji chapter where he falls in love with one of Hibari's bullies when she's 15 and Seiji is around 25/30 is very questionable. Again, this is a work of fiction so while I was like "why isn't this seen wrong?" I wasn't really uncomfortable. I do gotta say that in the Manga when the Japanese mob grown manchild son asked for Hibari's hand in marriage, it was inmediatly said he was 28 and Hibari was super taken aback. This doesn't happen in the anime, his age is NEVER mentioned. I can't quite remember, but I am sure Hibari also doesn't go on a date with him.

Oof, but here we go with the thing that has bothered me the most. The REALLY bad erasure of Jun's story. They absolutely took away her lesbianism, making it seem as if she was only interested in Hibari because of her volleyball abilities. They also totally changed the episode and made Jun be deeply ashamed of her family, that while in the Manga she was a bit embarassed it wasn't a main focus. In the Anime it was, even making her leave the volleyball club, which is crazy to me. Oh, and I'm NOT forgetting that they made Hibari enjoy getting gropped in the bus, when in the Manga she was clearly just disgusted by it.

I haven't finished it yet, may edit this post with more complains. Positive things? I'm sure Seiji and Sabu didn't have names in the Manga, so now they have identities. They try and give them more backstory, even adding an eye scar to Sabu, which was appreciated. Hibari's voice is absolutely the cutest. I liked the wrestling episode. Oh, the episode with Hibari's mother and her father was a delight, she didn't express this much emotion in the Manga, so actually seeing how she feels was great, and her end interaction with her father was adorable.

Can't remember anything more rn. As a side note, I've developed a little crush on Sabu and I'm gonna draw him. Hope you enjoyed my rambling!

EDIT:

Remembered the Honda thing. In the Anime he almost reaches his 1000 girls flirted with, but with one it is half a girl. In the Manga this was because he looked at a 5 year old by accident and she fell in love, while in the anime they made it so he flirted with a new half. For those who don't know, new half is an old Japanese term for transgender people, mostly trans women who were post op. In the subtitles this is translated as crossdresser, which I don't like. This isn't the first time this term is mentioned, in the spartan son episode, he calls Hibari a new half, which Kosaku tells him to not do. In another chapter there is a trans woman, and she refers to herself as New half, which again is incorrectly translated to crossdresser for some reason.

Even then there was some sort of minimal knowledge of trans people, not only with this, but in the Manga the addition of Genkijirou being a canonical trans man in hormones. Eguchi was aware and while his first idea was to make Hibari a feminine man, it obviously end up with her being a trans woman.

[shinidamachu]

Okay so we all know by now why Inuyasha fell for Kagome — it’s fairly obvious, because she’s amazing, who wouldn’t? But why do you think Kagome fell in love with Inuyasha? At the beginning of their journey she couldn’t stand his rash and abrasive attitude and was always saying how a guy the complete opposite of him would be her type, so what made her grow from just viewing him as a friend who she would need to teach to bring out of his shell, into a viable romantic interest?

I’m sure we can all pinpoint the time when Kagome really started developing feelings was her seeing Inuyasha’s human night for the first time and when he was laying in her lap and saying how good she smelled, being honest with his true feelings for once. What was it about that moment that caused Kagome to start to see Inu in a new light? Was she attracted to his vulnerability? When she saw that combined with his always protecting her was that enough to stir her heart? What’s your take on what it was about Inuyasha that made made Kagome fall in love?

So I think it’s obvious by now why Inuyasha fell for Kagome, but what exactly was it about Inuyasha that made Kagome fall for him? How did she go from dislike to tolerance to seeing him as a friend she could teach and learn to open up to the world into a viable romantic interest? She says it herself early on, Inuyasha was the exact opposite of her type, so what exactly was it about him that attracted her to him that he couldn’t already give her at the friend level?

I'm guessing you asked @born-for-eachother this very same question a while ago? And her answer was as insightful as ever, so I'm not sure what else can I say to expand on her already brilliant take, but I'll give it my best try.

This is Kagome's reply when her friends asked what her type is. Mind you, she's only fifteen. Kagome might think that she knows what she wants, but she most definitely doesn't know yet what she needs. And that's an important distinction.

Also, please notice that Kagome's lying to herself, because there's only one person in the series that fit her criteria perfectly: Hojo. Even still, she had no romantic interest in him whatsoever despite the statement above.

And the scene's whole point wasn't to stabilish the kind of guy Kagome would fall for, but to show us that, when asked about what her type was, Inuyasha crosses her mind, even if it was in a "negative" light.

If it was the case, it would have made way more sense for her to simply describe a type and define Hojo as the yardstick against which all potential boyfriends would be measured, but instead she made the entire thing about Inuyasha, subconsciously drawing a correlation between him and romantic interest.

And of course, Inuyasha actually does have at least half of the qualities Kagome was listing. She just didn't have the opportunity to realize that at the time, since their first impression of each other was disastrous and Inuyasha was keeping his guard up. She didn't know the real him yet.

That's why she couldn’t stand his rash and abrasive attitude at the beginning of their journey. Kagome thought he was being a jerk for the sake of being a jerk and, for his part, Inuyasha was constantly proving her misconceptions right.

It takes a little time for her to figure him out, which is to be expected because, at first, he made his life's mission to push Kagome away and she have never met someone like him before, but eventually, she manages to see right through him.

His selfishness was a facade. He had to think of himself first because he learned that if he didn't, no one else would. However, he did care for others, no matter how good he was at pretending otherwise. And he might complain about it the whole time, but he always does the right thing in the end.

Especially when it comes to Kagome. There were many occasions in which he resigned himself with letting her go, be it because he feared for her own safety, be it because he knew it wasn't fair of him to ask her to stay even though the thing he wanted the most was to have her by his side. When push comes to shove, he prioritizes Kagome's well being over his own feelings every time. This is the opposite of selfish.

Inuyasha isn't malicious, he's just a impulsive boy who had little to none social interactions growing up. He doesn't really mean a lot of what comes out of his mouth, or at least he doesn't always mean it in a rude way. When he does mean it, it's often a defense mechanism to keep people away, a form of hurt them before they could hurt him. It's only natural for Inuyasha to act the way he does at first. And it was even more natural for Kagome to pick up on that eventually:

He is kind. You can tell by how he puts his life on the line even for those who judge him a monster. He has been wronged in so many ways, by so many people and he still forgave and forgot most of it, showing them the compassion he was denied of. You can also see it in the detais: the way he treats children — slapstick comedy aside —women or any person who can't stand up for themselves, how he provides for and takes care of his friends, the relationship he had with his mother, the gentle way in which he touches Kagome, gives her his robe when she's cold and nurses her back to health when she's sick. I could go on and on.

Granted, he is violent. But for the longest time, violence was all he knew. And it was this very violence that more often than not kept Kagome and their friends alive. He is short tempered. But then again so is she. And he might be the farthest thing from obedient, but I highly doubt Kagome would have fallen so hard and so deep for him if he wasn't.

Futhermore, I think you nailed it on the head when you said Kagome started developing real feelings for Inuyasha after their first New Moon together.

This is when she finally starts to truly understand him. For once, there was no walls up, no bullshit, no covering their connection with hostility. Only vulnerability, brutal honesty and the shy beginning of one of the most important themes in their relationship: trust. Here, Kagome realizes that there is more to him than meets the eyes, that there's an opening for her to come in. Which she does. And the more she gets to know him, the more she notices that he can be selfless, good and kind.

I'd also like to point out that Kagome had already showed signs of physical attraction to Inuyasha way before that.

Obviously, you can admire your friend's appearance in a non romantic way, but her reaction to his looks at the time and the reminiscing of how heroic he looked back then cannot be interpreted as platonic.

But more than that, the thing that really attracted her to Inuyasha, what he couldn’t already give her in a friendship level, was plain and simple the way he made her feel.

Although it was mostly Inuyasha starting the romantic moves, Kagome has always responded to them. His actions awakened in her sentiments she had never had to deal with before. It's new. It's exciting. It's terrifying. It makes her feel alive. And no one else has ever done it for her. Not even close.

Inuyasha turned her world upside down. Being the beautiful, smart and popular girl that she was, love was something that has always came easily to Kagome. She was pretty used to people liking her gratuitously. Her relationship with family and friends was simple enough, but with Inuyasha, she had to work for it, to build it with him from scratch. It was trial and error. It required patience, acceptance, trust, effort and sacrifice from both parts.

Most importantly: Inuyasha challenged her, turned her life into an adventure. He toughed her up, encouraged her to improve and become the very best version of herself, added a gray area to the black and white perspective she had on things, brought her out of her comfort zone. And she enjoyed rising up to the occasion. I think that anything different would bore her very quickly.

Then there's the easiness in which they fit into each other's world: her little brother worships the ground Inuyasha walks on, her grandpa appreciates Inuyasha's help at the shrine, her mother is treated by Inuyasha with nothing but ultimate kindness and respext. Even her friends approve of him. This brings forth the unshakeable feeling that they have always been together, that their meeting was no coincidence.

Plus, Inuyasha actually cares about her. Not her beauty, not her popularity, not her powers: her. Kagome turned the head of many guys during the series, but none of them know her down to the core like Inuyasha does. Her fears and insecurities, her friends and family, her quirks and believes, likes and dislikes, qualities and flaws: Inuyasha knows them all. He sees her beyond of what she looks like. He loves her for who she is rather than an idealized version of herself that does not exist.

It doesn't matter to him if she's wearing her best clothes or covered in demon goo. He had seen her crying, sweating, bloodied, dirty, sick, in extreme need of a bath and his opinion of her never lowered. If anything, I'd say Inuyasha wanted to be with her even more. Kagome didn't have to try too hard, didn't have to be anyone else for him to like her. All he ever expected of her was her company. And that's gotta be refreshing.

At last, I personally believe that wanting what you "can't" have also plays an important factor here. Inuyasha came straight out of a fairy tale, only to get her happily ever after, Kagome had to overcome lunatic villains, Inuyasha's traumas, her own insecurities, the fact that they belonged to different eras, miscommunications, heartbreaks, the stigma that a relationship between a priestess and a half demon carries, three years of separation and lastly time-space itself. Every obstacle only seemed to make her want him more.

Kagome's life could have been a lot easier if she had decided to let it go. She could have pursued an uncomplicated relationship with one of the male characters practically throwing themselfes at her feet — one of which, in theory, checks all of her boxes —, but she didn't. Which makes sense because, to quote Taylor Swift: nothing safe it's worth the drive.

And it all comes full circle, because her desires and necessities have finally aligned. Inuyasha might not have been what she wanted for herself at first, but he has always been exactly what she needed. And after she realized that, I can't imagine Kagome ever wanting anything — or anyone — else.

[give-soup-please]

I was wondering if you could write about a Narrator with body image issues and the reader comforting him (could be platonic or romantic).

Reader helping the narrator with body image issues (romantic)

Today has been a rough day for the narrator. He doesn’t feel at home in his body today. He looks down at his hands, then the rest of him, and something feels wrong. He doesn’t like what he sees. This is easily changeable, but he’s been flicking through different forms and none of them feel right.

This isn’t his first experience with this problem, but it’s the first time he’s felt it while dating you. He sighs, closes his eyes, and sinks down into a nearby chair. It will pass. This will pass. He repeats it like a mantra in his head for a bit, then stops. He hates repeating mantras. They’re too cyclical, too loopish. It reminds him of something, a suppressed memory. He lets it go.

You notice he’s not feeling well. How could you not? The narrator is inherently emotional as a person, and is almost constantly broadcasting how he feels. So when he goes quiet, or starts to get into a negative spiral, you’ll catch on pretty quick. 

“Narrator, are you okay? You don’t seem like yourself today.” You say.

“Yes, I- I’m fine.” The narrator is not a great liar, especially concerning his emotional state. 

“Honey, if something is wrong, maybe we should give talking it out a try. I might be able to help.”

The narrator sighs, and begins to push past his vulnerabilities. “It’s just that- I don’t know what you see in me.” He swallows, and looks away. No eye contact makes talking easier for him. “I’m not handsome, or at least, not the way I want to be. I know it’s silly, but I’d like to look good for you, but I don’t know what you want.”

Oh. “Narrator, I-” you begin.

“-Be honest, do you actually find me attractive and datable, or are you just teasing me?” He asks bitterly. You’re genuinely shocked at his attitude. This problem went deeper than you thought.

“Narrator, maybe you don’t match some ridiculous ideal standard, and maybe you do. I know that I find you nice to look at, but this self loathing you’ve got going on is kind of concerning. I love you for you. You could have a bent nose or a wonky chin, or have a monitor for a head or appear as a writhing mass of text. It doesn’t matter to me. You do.” You put your hand on his shoulder.

“The thing is, I fell in love with you, for you. Now that being said, I find your current form very handsome. If you want to change that, you can, I won’t complain. But I’ve always loved you for who you are, and nothing will change that.” You rub his shoulder gently, not sure what to say next, but wanting to help him.

“Are you sure?” He asks.

“Narrator, do you really think I'd be dating someone I didn’t like? Listen, if I didn’t think you were attractive, do you think I’d do this?”

You kiss him. Starting with his forehead, gently pressing your lips against his temple, moving down towards his cheeks, which are now flushed, down to his chin, before pecking him on the lips. He’s smiling as you pull back to give him eye contact.

“Y-yes, well. Ahem. Indeed, I must be very good looking for you to do that.” He’s very flustered. 

“I love you, narrator. On good days and bad.”

His ego swarms. “Of course you do. But just to be sure, let’s do that a few more times.”

You laugh, and kiss him again. He seems happier now.  

[9leaguesofmirrors]

Ross Gaines x Joseph Lisgoe Things

AKA: Gainsgoe headcanons that have me in a chokehold

When they realise they like the other person, them being less disturbed by the fact they're into guys and more disgusted by the fact they're feeling things that aren't negative

Them showing their affection by bullying each other. I don't mean the playful teasing that normal couples do, Lisgoe will insult Ross, who will retort back with a snide remark, to which Lisgoe will respond to with a threat and so on - nobody else is allowed to do it though, they're protective of each other

Them having frequent back-and-forths/"snark-swapping", but rarely actually arguing because they aren't fussed with typical Relationship Problems™️: work getting in the way? They're both dedicated to their jobs. Future plans? They both think marriage is a waste of time and money and GOD knows they hate children. Insecurities? With Ross and Lisgoe? Now THAT'S a laugh!

But also... both of them lowkey feeling constant pressure to constantly be the best in their field and always feeling the need to compete with others, and slowly, subconciously, learning how to be OK with having off moment

This doesn't stop them from being absolute terrors to the inhabitants of Royston Vasey

Lisgoe secretly having a thing for Ross' eyes and REFUSING to admit that he likes how piercing they are because that's gross and pathetic

Ross liking how angular Lisgoe's features are

Occasionally, he'll absentmindedly run his hands along Lisgoe's collarbones and hips and/or touch his jawline while they're talking - Lisgoe teases him for it, but never pushes him away

"You're doing it again, you handsy bastard"

"I don't hear you complaining"

Ross appreciating Lisgoe's up-front attitude and Lisgoe liking that Ross offers solutions to problems

Lisgoe secretly being the reason Ross stops ranting about how "disgustingly trashy" tattoos are because he keeps seeing them on Lisgoe's torso and arms on the rare occasions that they're exposed and damn it, they suit him

Ross being the only person to call him "Joseph"

Lisgoe being banned from the kitchen because he can't cook (he sets fire to pasta because he doesn't add water, that's how bad he is), and him being stubborn and trying to anyway because he's a grown man, damn it!

"Ross, I said I'm cooking tonight"

"And I said, if I'm going to die, I'm doing it on my own accord. Not by a housefire and DEFINITELY not from your attempt at risotto"

Their physical affection (with the exception of that side of things) being minimal and private because ew, PDA and ew, sap

It usually involves hands (don't be dirty!); a hand on the back, on the shoulder, Lisgoe using Ross' shoulder as an armrest because he's a habitual leaner

On a few occasions, because kissing is NOT what he does (other than... mhm), Lisgoe has a tendancy to kiss the corner of Ross' mouth

And Ross Gaines feels NOTHING about this! He's so NORMAL about it! It totally doesn't take him a moment to steady his breathing because he's SO UNAFFECTED, HE'S ROSS GAINES FOR GOD'S SAKE!

Lisgoe trying to find ways to make Ross swear (which is a rare occurance as it is); sometimes it's because he finds it funny, other times because it's very attractive - it depends on the situation

"I don't understand why someone people don't possess any basic understanding on how to act like normal people. They're vile"

"They're worse than that, surely"

"... I'm not doing it"

"Come on, you're itching to say it. Call them an asshole, or a twat, just let it-"

"They're a bunch of wankers. Happy?"

"Very"

Them being an absolute power duo

Ross is the brains, obviously. He's logical, quick-witted and is able to work his way out of any puzzle - what he lacks in strength, he makes up for in knowledge and application

"I appreciate the effort you put into your story, but I know for a fact that it doesn't add up. And I think you do too, am I correct?"

Many people assume Lisgoe is the "muscle" (in spirit, we all know he's tall and lanky), and that isn't wrong. But, due to the nature of his work (and the fact that he's a tyrannical bastard), he's VERY good at reading body language and facial expressions. The slightest nervous twitch or smug smirk, he'll catch on no matter how small it is

"You're scared. Why? Because you know you're fucked? Or is it because you know I'm about to dash your brains into the fucking pavement?"

Both of them getting jealous when the other gets flirted with; Ross has silent rage, while Lisgoe drags the person away and sorts them out himself

Them being the most feared couple in Royston Vasey

Them REVELLING in their reputation

[lovingoverwatchguys]

Code of Violence and heteronormativity

Alright, I know I’m breaking my ‘no negativity’ rule here, but oh well.

So, in the time since the initial backlash to Code of Violence (if you weren’t in the fandom at the time, it was pretty intense), people have been re-assessing it as a story. Now, from the beginning, I strongly disliked it. A lot of people seem to have agreed that the initial widespread anger was an emotional reaction rather than a rational one. So, do I still dislike it?

Well...yeah. I still think it was really bad. And I think a lot of people are pretty disingenuous when they’re addressing people criticizing it. 

But I wanted to respond to a specific complaint people had with the negative response to the story. I saw several people say that being angry about his relationship with Martina for sexuality-based reasons was bi erasure. Since he could still be attracted to more than just women.

The thing is...that’s not really why I call the story heteronormative, and I doubt that’s why a lot of others do, either.

Yes, in theory, he could still be bisexual. I’m fully aware of that. But my issue isn’t even entirely about him being attracted to women at all - it’s specifically in the context of tropes seen in the story and how they relate to heterosexual stories.

The main trope I see in this story is the idea of “edgy man is sad because the woman he’s in love with, who is given no traits other than being in love with him, is gone.” This is inherently a heteronormative trope because it reduces women to a ‘motivation’ for a man rather than as characters in their own right. People have been complaining about female characters being reduced to this for decades, and it’s pretty much entirely in stories about male/female couples.

The fact that the whole story seems to focus on this past relationship is also heteronormative because it makes a character’s entire emotional core revolve around a woman he’s attracted to, and nobody else. It idealizes this woman as being loving and forgiving of all of his faults, which wouldn’t be bad if those weren’t the only traits she was given. Any other relationships he had were almost entirely ignored despite them being much more well-established and interesting. 

But it’s not just that. The fact that Jack, the only canon gay man (at the time he was also the only man attracted to men at all, although Baptiste and Lifeweaver have since been confirmed as bisexual and pansexual - still, Jack is the only 100% gay one), is chasing after Gabriel, while Gabriel gives him no thought at all, is also a serious problem for me. ‘Gay guy obsessed with man who only is interested in a woman and ignores him’ is a homophobic trope with years of bad history. We can debate all day Jack’s reasons for chasing Gabriel - whether that be anger, love, vengeance, whatever - but it’s still inherently the only gay man being obsessed with a man that doesn’t seem to be interested in him at all.

I don’t call Code of Violence heteronormative because it doesn’t revolve around gay ships. Frankly, I expect that in media most of the time. I call it heteronormative because it derives from tropes that are both extremely common in heterosexual love stories and also have misogynist and homophobic undertones to them.

You can ask why I don’t give the same criticism to other stories - well, the thing is, I wouldn’t care if Overwatch didn’t constantly emphasize its representation, and if they hadn’t deliberately highlighted Jack and Gabriel’s relationship for years and refused to confirm or deny things about it. I don’t bother going after The Punisher or The Last of Us for having the ‘edgy man with woman motivation’ (even though I still have problems with the trope itself) because those stories never pretended to be about anything else. But Overwatch and its writers have claimed so much that they care about our representation and not being revolved around purely heterosexual narratives, so they should live up to the standards they set up for themselves.

One of the reasons these primarily heterosexual tropes are common is that they’re very easy writing shorthand. A random love interest that’s not given any traits gives motivation for a character that an audience can easily understand without having to create a new character or build a real relationship. As useful as that might be, you can’t act as if you write in a subversive way while also falling back on these shorthand tropes. You have to pick one or the other. And Code of Violence is where Overwatch failed to pick a single pattern.

[somebody-u-use2kno]

Am I allowed to be selfish? Am I allowed to want to make things about me for once? Am I allowed to complain and vent to the empty internet?

Fuck it! Why not?

I’m so angry on the inside. Well… I think it’s anger. It’s a different type of anger. I don’t want to punch or hurt anything or anything (for now 😅 kidding) I am just beyond fed up and disappointed. I don’t know why I’m hardly surprised. I shouldn’t really expect anything else.

I think I’m falling out of love. Not that I don’t love you just I don’t have any desire to try or do anything to save you or us anymore. Will I be heart broken and beyond hurt if we needed? Absolutely. But I know it wouldn’t kill me. I know it would probably be for the best. We aren’t giving each other what we need. Nor have we in quite some time now.

You don’t make me feel beautiful. To be honest I can’t remember a time within the last 6 or so months I actually feel attractive by you. I haven’t felt desired or anything by you. I don’t feel important. I don’t feel like I’m the only girl in the world to you. Haven’t truly felt that in over a year. I feel highly unappreciated. I do so much for you and barely get a thank you. Hell I don’t. I get back handed complaints. I go out of my way to do so much for you and I am still frowned upon because it isn’t more. You don’t show me off to the world like you use too. I feel like you’re almost embarrassed of me. Or don’t want people to remember I’m still around. Keeping me in the shadows. I don’t feel important. I feel like our children and myself are just side runners in your life. YOU fucked up. You have anger issues and took things too far yet I’m the one to have the blame and now my child is possibly in jeopardy because of it. But you aren’t concerned about that. You aren’t bothered by the fact that our son can be taken away. Noooo. But what does have you conceded is that you possibly won’t be allowed to see your other two. That’s your first priority and concern. Not the child that lives with you and the fact that if he does get taken away he won’t have not only his father but not his mother either. You make me sick. Then instead of being a team effort on making sure our home is in check the first words that come out of your mouth are “you better make sure…” yeah. Because I’m the only one that lives there right? I’m the only one who is “trashy” right? I’m the one the doesn’t take care of the animals you want so desperately right? I’m the one who doesn’t help with out son at all right? You anger me to my bones. You constantly bring negativity into my life and then get bitched at but I’m not happy and chipper like I once was before. I am done living this life with you. Yet I can’t stop myself from praying…. Not praying but begging the lord to save you. To save me. To save us and our life together. I’m hurt and burnt out. I don’t know what to do anymore. Nor what I want to do.

[wishesmsg]

10 Mistakes Women Make in Their Love Life

The mistakes women make in their relationships lead to their breakup or a bad outcome. Here are the mistakes women make in their love life. "Women and men are created differently in terms of their nature. While there is a huge difference even between two women, expecting the behaviors of men and women to be at the same level only leads to unhappiness. Although it is difficult for men and women to understand each other, it is beneficial to find a common ground. These behaviors, which men do not want in a woman and women do not give up in their relationships, negatively affect relationships. Here are the top 10 most prominent mistakes women make in their love life: Nagging' According to Men If you are constantly complaining and whining about everything your partner does, it's time to get your act together. Constantly bringing up a mistake and scolding your partner about it will only make them want to escape. Even if you don't understand your partner, you need to be a bit more tolerant and overlook the faults they make within the framework of tolerance. Don't wear down the person in front of you by constantly criticizing them."

Forcing Someone to Talk Women speak approximately 20,000 words per day, while men speak around 7,000 words. Men usually exhaust their daily quota of 7,000 words during the day and prefer to stay silent when they get home in the evening. If you insist on making a man talk all the time, he will not be pleased with this situation and it cannot be said that he will tolerate it for long.

Being Overly Jealous Calling constantly and asking who they are with, we call this "interrogation." Getting jealous about who they are looking at when you go out. Constantly questioning and pressuring a man leads to breakups.

Acting Like a Spy Going through their cell phone and secretly checking their social media accounts, and constantly being suspicious will harm the relationship. You should refrain from these behaviors.

Expecting Them to Understand Scientists have explained that men do not think as detailed as women. Therefore, do not expect a man to think as detailed as a woman. If you want to say something, you should say it directly instead of implying it.

Using Sexiness as a Weapon Stop trying to get men to do what you want by using your sexuality. Men may fall for these games at first, but they are not as foolish as you think. After a while, they will catch on and it will backfire on you.

Acting Like a Child If you think that men will enjoy your speaking with puckered lips and making childlike movements, you are on the wrong track. Making strange sounds like a child on the phone does not please any man, in fact, it makes you unattractive. If you want to attract attention, you should show your femininity instead of childish behavior.

Questioning the Relationship When you're at the beginning of your relationship, asking where this relationship is going and what our end will be is not helpful. Even if you start singing an Ahmet Kaya song loudly, "If my heart wasn't aching, our end wouldn't be like this." Hold on a minute, you're just getting started, time will show everything. Let things flow naturally.

Trying to Change Someone If you fell in love with a man, let him be who he is. For example, some women see it as their duty to turn a rough man into a gentleman and spend their time trying tactics to make him a gentleman. Why didn't you fall in love with a ready-made gentleman then? You should not attempt to change someone to avoid boring yourself and the person you're with, and to avoid playing with their feelings.

Comparing Comparing your boyfriend to other men, even your ex-boyfriend, will not bring you anything. In fact, it can be the reason for the man to distance himself from you. The man you are comparing to others loses his self-confidence, realizes that he is not happy in the relationship, and ends the relationship in a short time.

Read the full article

[glaisamae093003]

HOW TO BE IRRESISTIBLE?

We all want to be attractive and desirable to others. Whether it is in our personal or professional lives, we all want to have that certain something that draws people to us. But what makes someone irresistible? Is it just physical appearance or is there more to it? In this blog, we will explore some tips on how to be irresistible.

Confidence Confidence is key when it comes to being irresistible. When you are confident, you exude a certain energy that is attractive to others. You don't have to be the most physically attractive person in the room to be irresistible, but if you are confident in yourself and your abilities, you will draw people to you.

Positive attitude Another important factor in being irresistible is having a positive attitude. No one wants to be around someone who is constantly negative or complains all the time. When you have a positive attitude, you are more approachable and people will want to be around you.

Sense of humor Having a good sense of humor is another trait that can make you irresistible. Laughter is contagious and when you can make someone laugh, you create a bond with them. You don't have to be a stand-up comedian, but having a quick wit and being able to make light of a situation can go a long way.

Being authentic Being authentic and true to yourself is another trait that can make you irresistible. When you are not afraid to be yourself and show your true personality, people will appreciate your honesty and genuineness. Don't try to be someone you are not, as people can see through that and it will only push them away.

Good listener Being a good listener is another important trait when it comes to being irresistible. When you listen to others, you show that you value their opinions and are interested in what they have to say. People want to be around someone who makes them feel heard and understood.

Taking care of yourself Taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally is also important when it comes to being irresistible. When you take care of yourself, you feel more confident and positive, which in turn makes you more attractive to others. This includes things like exercising, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and practicing self-care.

Being passionate Having a passion for something is another trait that can make you irresistible. When you are passionate about something, you have a certain energy and enthusiasm that is contagious. Whether it is a hobby or a career, having something you are passionate about can make you more interesting and attractive to others.

Dressing well The way you dress can also play a role in how irresistible you are. When you dress well, you not only look good, but you feel good too. It shows that you value yourself and take pride in your appearance, which can make you more attractive to others. Dressing well does not mean that you have to follow the latest fashion trends, but rather, wear clothes that make you feel confident and comfortable.

In conclusion, being irresistible is not just about physical appearance, but rather a combination of traits and qualities that make you attractive to others. All the tips that are mentioned are all important factors in being irresistible. Remember, being irresistible is not about being perfect, but rather being true to yourself and showing your best self to the world.

[academyguide]

In parts 1 and 2 of this 3 part series, we explored the different types of attitudes that affect people's lives and their circumstances. We explored how the magic of believing can influence your life in a positive way. In the final part of this 3 part series, we explore the two possible outlooks you can have, and how they affect your life.Stop Letting Procrastination Cement Your Feet to the GroundLiving the Negative OutlookThis brings us to the area of making snap decisions. Since we already know how to deal with the attitude of defeat and we understand how to raise our self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth, my question is: "What do we do now?" We take action of course. For the procrastinators, decision-making can be mentally exhausting when it comes to taking action. They live in a self-created state of confusion and insecurity. In plain words, they don't know whether they are coming or going. From easy choices to complex choices, they are dominated constantly by the emotion of fear. These individuals lack confidence because they are fearful of failure or of what others may think of them. They cling to fear, holding out, perpetually looking for even better possibilities, which may never come as they let tremendous opportunities slip by.The only way they will make a decision is when their backs are up against the wall. Even then they wallow in anxiety, subjecting themselves to unnecessary physical and mental pressure as to whether or not the decision they made was the right choice. Yet, no matter what they choose, they will always find a reason as to why that decision was wrong. Since like attracts like, these individuals find themselves railing at fate because they are mad they were forced to choose and they then waited too long to do so. Procrastinators are known for "blame-shifting" and chronic complaining, always making excuses for adverse conditions, which they brought upon themselves through bad choices, which often causes the same unfortunate conditions to continue. Still, uncertain about their decision, they will go from one person to the other looking for approval. As they continue being blown about by this whirlwind of indecision, this whole sorry mess will make them hate their fate even more, causing them to procrastinate even more when it comes to taking any form of action or making any other decisions.Experiencing the Positive OutlookOn the other hand, there are those who make decisions quickly because they know exactly what they want, with no "ifs, ands or buts" involved. These are the individuals who live their lives with a PMA mentality. The person with a Positive Mental Attitude believes in himself or herself and has learned the secret of uncovering his or her hidden talents and developing them to their fullest. They are in charge of themselves, with a keen sense of direction, never hindered by self-imposed limitations. Whatever decision they make they trust it 100%, because they weigh all the pros and cons related to it, considering the consequences while they decide which option will give a better return. They have adopted a devil-may-care attitude as they embrace opportunities that come their way, plunging headfirst into experiences with a burning desire to win or perish trying.So what you are seeing, my dear readers, is "Magic in Action," or better yet, "Faith at Work." People with a Positive Mental Attitude are a special breed of individuals. They can change the world of NMA to one of PMA.So if, you are a procrastinator, you need to stop being anxious, upset and miserable. Start focusing on maintaining a positive attitude toward life. This will enable you to develop confidence in your capability to make the right choices, choices which are good for YOU in any situation. If they can do it, so can you. Take action and let others see the wonderful results, and when this happens, then you will agree with me that there is a certain magic to believing. I wish you all the best of success. Source

[bratz-kitten]

random thoughts on the rising signs

aries risings are completely different when in a day-to-day basis compared to when in a position of power. when you’re with your friends, you’re this fun, energetic, loud person, but when you’re in a position of power... terrifying. you’ll completely switch to someone very serious and intimidating, with a very intense aura. i think it’s because you understand you have a very youthful aspect to you, both in appearance and energy, and you don’t want that to keep you from commanding respect. also because you’re very attracted to leading so that’s when you’re at your most focused. you’re very easy to irritate; as an aries rising, my friends always tease me because they know i’ll immediately doom them to an afterlife in hell. SO explosive, impulsive and chaotic, but that’s what makes you fun.

cancer risings you have such a delicate beauty to you. very sensitive to others’ emotions. people probably baby you a lot without even noticing it, they just want to protect/mentor you. you do very well with older figures like teachers and your friends’ parents. you also ooze maturity. a lot of the cancer risings i’ve met had to learn to be the responsible one in their families from a very young age, so now you take it upon yourself to take care of everyone around you – that’s probably why many people talk about cancer risings as being the “mom friend”. you have the chubbiest cheeks, i wanna bite them lol they’re so cute.

gemini risings look like literal models. VERY good with people, you can probably make someone do whatever you want by just staring into their eyes and telling them pretty words. but i’ve noticed how your communication can be easily misunderstood, you might come off as having certain intentions when you’re trying to convey the exact contrary. probably the alfa of your friend group and the one who has the most reckless, unhinged plans.. yet you’re never caught doing anything bad. you require a lot of stimulation so you’ll do whatever it takes to scratch that itch in you. you remind me of that phrase “i might be a bad influence, but you can’t tell me i’m not fun.” it’s impossible to ever be bored around you.

scorpio risings have this thing where people are absolutely intimidated by you, yet are very attracted to you and just need your attention. the type of person that has random people flirting with you on the streets just so you’ll make eye contact with them for one second longer. you also look lowkey terrifying, you just have massive resting bitch faces and always look pissed off when on the inside you’re just thinking “hm, what am i going to eat for lunch?” very intense gaze and look straight out of greek-mythology, you persephone ass bitch.

libra risings look so well put together. every color on you works in perfect harmony with one another – from your clothing to your hair to your skin tone to your makeup. you’re always sporting a smile and you look so composed, but baby i know you’re close to comitting sporadic murder LMFAO no one can convince me that libra placements are the exact contrary from peaceful, you’re the most unstable people in the world, in the best and most fun way possible – and sometimes in a downright toxic way, ease with the passive-aggressiveness and confrontational nature when it comes to personal relationships.

aquarius risings have the biggest crackhead energy ever. you’re very intimidating at first, and it’s easy to misunderstand you because of that – many think you’re serious and stuck up but you’re just observing and waiting to feel comfortable around them. when you do get comfortable, you’re just funny as fuck – you’ll talk about the most random things and make them sound so interesting, you say the most hilarious things; honestly, you’re a walking meme. also you look like you disassociate so much? you’ll be in the middle of a conversation and then you’ll just start staring into the distance for fifteen whole minutes, but the whole time you were actually listening to the other person.

leo risings i just.. love you. it’s like you’re born to be the center of attention without even trying. literally so expressive and charismatic even if you’re very shy at first, great storytellers, and you’re just so loyal and the amount of support you give to your friends is unmatched. you do very well in a tight friend group where there’s so much trust and supportive energy. if you don’t have one, you probably fantasize a lot about it. how’s that winx obsession going? literally so authentic and raw in everything you do too. people call you egotistical and self-centered because they can’t stand a headstrong person like you. please don’t take insults so much to heart and let them shatter your perception of yourself, and understand that if someone mocks your appearance they’re just projecting their insecurities.

virgo risings you refuse to leave the house if you’re not absolutely perfect. i know someone with a virgo rising who simply refuses to do video-calls before taking a shower and drying their hair. VERY intimidating, will give judgemental stares and look at you in the streets like you’re the ugliest thing in the world but will probably not even realize they were staring at someone in the first place. i have so much fun teasing you, you get annoyed SO fast and it’s so fun because i practically have a degree in being annoying. you also find it shocking when someone teases you because most people are too scared to do it. you’re the most fun to talk shit with because you can be so critical and you just love some drama and gossiping. please stop complaining about things though or i’ll be forced to commit a hate-crime. your luck that i can’t help loving you.

sagittarius risings give sagittarius energy the stereotype of being so freedom-loving and adventurous. you’re very approachable and easy-going, the type of person that people will meet once and already consider you their friends. you’re up to whenever wherever, no matter how dumb the idea might sound, because you know first-hand that the weirdest, most last-minute plans make the greatest memories. i also notice that you’ll use going out as a way of avoiding your feelings. instead of allowing yourself to process your sadness and heartbreak, you just call your friends and go out so you won’t have to sit with your own, scary thoughts.

pisces risings look like they they breathe and create art with every breath they take. literally ooze emotional and artistic sensitivity. very sensitive to others’ energies and that can really take a toll on your mental health – being surrounded by negative people will literally drain you. please remember to take some me-time to recharge and process all those emotions. pisces risings literally look so ethereal, out of this world, with your sparkly eyes when you talk about your dreams and your strong sense of individuality cultivated in all your appearance, from your clothing to your makeup to you hair.

capricorn risings go through so much in their life and for what?? i swear you have so many hardships always coming your way and it angers me so much because you don’t deserve it at all. at least you always learn a lot from those experiences, which just makes you stronger and more undefeatable. you have a very melancholic gaze to you. very doll-like. naturally command authority and respect. unlike taurus risings, you thrive in situations of change – you practically seek them, knowing that learning to adapt to all situations and to work with them so they work in your favor is a gift. you turn so many heads in the street, i’m always in awe at your beauty.

it’s no wonder that the most beautiful celebrities constantly have taurus risings. you’re very strong and fixed in your ideas, making people often describe you as the taurus stereotype of “stubborn”. taurus placements just have so much difficulty accepting change and seeing it as an opportunity of growth instead of a painful process. you need to learn to let go and that good things might happen when you allow yourself to evolve and and outgrow your old self. you have a very grounded presence, while also having such a distinct sense of humour. very well-put together.

[stratuscloudsurfer]

Ok but what was Melli and Ingo’s first meeting like? Did he feel there was something more to Ingo from the start? Did Melli try to pull his high and mighty act only for Ingo to see right through it. We’re they friendly from the start or was it something that developed later?

Another ask I’m answering at the same time: “How exactly did Melli’s crush develop?”

“Pleasure to meet you. My name is Ingo. I'm Lady Sneasler's new warden."

Melli hears about Ingo far before he meets him in person. Everyone has heard about about the strange guy who fell from the sky, after all. They say he's eccentric and odd and way better at commanding pokemon than any person has business being. They say that he's stoic and unreadable and incredibly powerful. They say that if looks could kill, he could kill with a single glance.

When Melli meets him for the first time, though, the only thing he can think is that he has really pretty eyes.

He’s made up his mind about the Pearl clan’s new warden before he’s ever laid eyes on him… or at least, he thought he has. He didn’t understand what Irida was thinking, trusting a stranger with one of their most important religious figures. He cannot trust Ingo. He will not trust Ingo. He will make sure he knows that he doesn’t trust him.

Despite his conviction, though, when Ingo extends his hand to him, the butterflies start fluttering in his stomach. He takes his outstretched hand and curses the Almighty Sinnoh for making the new warden so attractive while he shakes it.

“Just to make it clear, I don’t trust you,” he forces himself to say as soon as he lets go. “Yet, anyway. As far as I’m concerned, you’re still an outsider. I won’t pretend to understand why Irida chose you.”

“That’s understandable,” Ingo says. “I hope to show you that I care more about the safety of this region’s people than anything else.”

And then he proceeds to do just that. Melli quickly discovers that people were wrong about Ingo. He is trustworthy, friendly, and kind. He cares about Lady Sneasler and the Coronet Highlands a great deal, and makes the safety of anyone that travels through the region his priority. He spends hours repairing broken bridges and marking routes through the mountains to help people navigate the Highlands without getting lost.

Melli doesn’t want to like Ingo, but he can’t help himself, and he hates that he likes him so much. He hates that Ingo can scatter his thoughts with a single sideway glance. He hates that he invades all of his thoughts, and he can’t seem to push him out of his head. He doesn’t know what to do with the things that the Pearl Clan’s newest warden makes him feel. He wants his attention but doesn’t know why. He’s too proud to admit it so he starts acting out ( complaining about him to Adaman constantly, removing the torches from Wayward Cave, etc. ).

Despite his long soliloquies to Adaman about how much he despises Ingo, he’s quick to jump in and defend him when he hears people saying anything negative about him behind his back, and seeing his smile makes him feel strangely giddy. He makes excuses to visit with Ingo and Lady Sneasler and even starts helping out with some of his “projects.” Spending time with him makes him unbelievably happy. He likes that he listens to him, and likewise, could easily listen to Ingo talk for hours.

It’s hard to say when Melli started considering Ingo his friend, but one thing is for sure: he’s definitely no longer a stranger. Maybe, he never was to begin with.

[silvergeek]

TrueGirlGaming is a subreddit made for women gamers.

All women and girl gaming enthusiasts are welcome to post topics here. Cis, trans, younger, older, etc. The goal is to focus on games, be positive, and have fun! Any gender is welcome to comment on posts.

This place is a refuge away from politics and negativity just as gaming is a refuge away from those things and more.

This is a positive subreddit for women and girls who want to focus on gaming recommendations, discussion, fanart, tech, screenshots, discounts, and news without all of the negative, repetitive venting. This is not a political sub nor a relationship advice sub, it is a gaming sub!

And - YES - tabletop gaming is absolutely welcome here.

Also, one of this sub's strongest suits is game recommendations. Many women and girls are new to gaming and need recommendations. Well, this is the place if that's what you need. Feel free to post your game recs, or post a request asking for game recs! We gotcha covered.

How r/TrueGirlGaming is different from other female gaming subs:

First off, I want to clarify that there is nothing wrong with having a safe place to vent about being bullied for being a woman. r/GirlGamers provides just such a place and it is no wonder that it has attracted thousands of redditors, for better or worse. There is nothing inherently wrong with having a safe space for that sort of dialogue.

Having said that, the venting posts in that subreddit became increasingly alienating to many gamers who simply wanted to utilize an online space for their favorite hobby. Women gamers often have a difficult time finding other female friends who play video games. (Especially the older we are.) In real life scenarios, the majority of women we interact with are not interested in, nor have ever been exposed to, the hobby of gaming (whether video games or tabletop games).

A lot of the redditors who flock to r/GirlGamers are looking for a fun space with likeminded women. And while it does offer that, to an extent, the subreddit is also littered with ongoing venting posts that claim to be on the subject of gaming -- but in reality it's a space to complain about men and boys. So, the focus no longer becomes about gaming, but instead turns into a session of "let's problem solve males".

r/GirlGamers has a big problem in that men are constantly the focal point of discussion, whether they are individual males or an amalgam of male varieties. Regardless of which, the discussions become heavily focused on what men are thinking, what men are saying, what men are doing. Many redditors post there about boyfriend troubles, more so seeking relationship advice -- not gaming advice. Perhaps this is cathartic for some gamers, but in my experience -- it wasn't healthy and I felt a longing for a space that was exclusively, 100% about video games, but all discussions are led by women!

Here is what r/TrueGirlGaming is really about:

- This sub encourages readers to branch out and play different types of video games, not just online shooters. Try out different genres.

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- This sub values the classics. There are so many video games that date back 20, 30 years that have kicked off some of the most amazing franchises. Go. Play those. Discover what you missed because you weren't encouraged to play video games as a little girl.

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- This sub values gaming recommendations. Lists, lists, and more lists. Make lists of some of the best games you've ever played. Advertise them. Tell everyone about them. Geek. Out. Show us screen shots, show us videos of your gameplay footage. Tell us about the mechanics of what you did. Tell us what you liked and what you didn't like. We need more gaming recommendations because so many women are new to gaming. And when they go looking for recommendations in default gaming spaces.... sometimes people can be pretty nasty to them.

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- This isn't just a sub about video games. Table top gaming is quite popular right now. It doesn't matter if you're a woman -- learn how to become a Dungeon Master or Game Master! This practice is highly encouraged. I say this as a woman who DM's. It's not impossible. It's not even hard. It's very fun. If you can gun down 15 dudes, right between the eyes, in some online shooter -- you can build a fantasy world and take players on an epic adventure.

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- This sub encourages female-developed games. I don't care if it's a card game or a 35 hour high fantasy RPG. Promote your gaming work here. Get your name out. Get support. This sub wants you to succeed.

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- Lastly, this sub values enjoyment over negativity. We don't celebrate oppression here by ingratiating on it. We don't want a negative echo chamber that targets a the opposite gender that makes us feel like outcasts. We know we're outcasts. Gamers, in general, are outcasts, and it's even harder when you're a woman. We want to focus on what you can do. You can learn to branch out and try different games. You can learn to code. You can learn to design a tabletop game. You can join our discord and meet others who can collaborate with you. You can promote yourself here. You can show off your tech, geek out, and scream from the proverbial rooftops that you're so excited about a game's upcoming release. This is a positive space. This is a place to learn about gaming, strengthen your skills, and maybe - hopefully? - make friends. To do any of this is the best way to give a giant "fuck you" to anyone who ever told you that girls can't game. You can lift yourselves up without bringing others down.

So, that's what this sub is about. These are the differences between r/TrueGirlGaming and all the others.

​Life is short. Play some games.