#continue staring at the person
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Having adhd be like, “oh hey! Someone is talking with me! That’s nice! =)”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“Oh shit! They are still talking! I wasn’t paying attention! I hope I didn’t miss a crucial part of the conversation! =(“
#my brain just stops paying attention#like what am I supposed to do?#continue staring at the person#just in case they keep talking?#sounds uncomfortable#adhd
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That is why I will never be at your side.
#tropedit#lotredit#ropedit#galadriel x halbrand#galadriel x sauron#galadriel#halbrand#sauron#the rings of power#lotr rings of power#mygifs#nevahhhh she says... as she leans in real close... looks at his lips...strokes his neck with her dagger like mimicking a lover's touch#and then lingers there staring up at him forever instead of idk stabbing him#almost like she's in CONFLICT yall#what a concept!#a concept too difficult for many tolkien bros and prudes to understand i know#anyway this was very hot and I look forward to these two force skyping each other#'platonically' continuing to invade each other's personal space panting and sniffing each other's hair etc
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i cannot stand the aot fandom this is not a new take at all they are universally intolerable but oh my dayssss u are FORBIDDEN from making ANY take about the show it's actually insane to watch. 'aot is perfect' no show is perfect. 'tell me you didnt get the show 😂🫵' people have different opinions/interpretations about things. 'eren is a good guy they could never make me hate him' i think there's actually 4 seasons and two movies explicitely using him as a tool to show that no one is 'good' or 'evil' they are only trying to survive. hello. the fandom r all so far up aot's ass that they actually discredit its writing in the process and it would be laughable if it wasn't so frustrating
#bc aot IS insanely well written but no one talks about it???#like all they do is SAY how well written it is but no one is brave enough to give examples or meta bc SOMEONE will jump on it#declaring they've misinterpreted the Single Correct Way of watching the show and are dumb and a hater for saying such a thing#i remember posting about my initial aot watch on here and i did NOT like eren i thought he was whiney and annoying (he is <3)#and i thought aot was overhyped but ive since finished it at long last and omg. it is so fucking good#one of those shows that you need to watch ALL of it to truly get what's going on#and the conclusion of eren's character i am genuinely so obsessed with ill probs make a separate post just about him#bc i have really 180'd on eren and i can see now he IS well written. but not for any reason i can see anyone else talking about???#people are just banging on about he was right and justified and a saviour and tragic etc etc and while those things are important#and should be considered that also like. was not the point imo#the irony and tragedy of eren jaeger was that after all the 'i am special simply bc i was born into this world'#concluded with the revelation that actually he was not special. the rumbling happened because a normal boy got a hold of a great power#and he mishandled it. he was immature. he acted his age. he was just some teenage boy and he responded in kind#there was selfishness and silly whims and a quick temper. he was never this godlike figure he gets painted as#and i ADORE THAT TAKE. THAT IS SUCH AN ICE COLD CONCLUSION. EREN WAS NEVER SPECIAL - THAT'S THE POINT#and like countless times through history one selfish person with their hands on an insane amount of power and a conviction#that they are doing the right thing goes on to lead to a continuation of the cycle of war#like the end credits with the tree is genuinely HAUNTING. it never ended. eren KNEW the rumbling would be unnsuccessful#and would leave enough of their enemies alive that they'd eventually retaliate HE KNEW THAT and did it anyway#why? bc he just /wanted/ it. desperately and immaturely. and so the war turned over for another generation and another and#LIKE THAT IS SUCH A POIGNANT HAUNTING TAKE. I FR STARED AT THE BLACK SCREEN ONCE I FINISHED IT FOR 5 MINS IN HORRIFIED SILENCE#yes it's not his sole motivation but ultimately the crux of his character boils down to the fact he's just some kid#to the point even when he's explaining it to armin at the very end they SHOW HIM AS A KID. THAT IS THE REAL EREN#THAT ANGRY SCRAPPY CHILD WHO THOUGHT HE COULD BEAT THE WORLD INTO SUBMISSION#NOT A HERO NOT A GOD NOT A DEVIL - JUST A KID GIVEN A POWER HE NEVER SHOULD HAVE GOT HIS HANDS ON#but if u say all that some chucklefuck tells u to kys and that u just Didnt Get The Masterpiece Of Attack On Titan#but do u know what? maybe people disagree w me! maybe this is just my interpretation! guess who's NOT gonna have a hissy fit about it?#fandom is about DISCUSSION and i have never seen a fandom as fucking allergic to it than the aot fandom#like omdddddddddd have a day off man isayama isnt gonna suck you off#aot
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Slowly reading through trimax made me think about vash’s scars again. Less about his feelings towards his scars (how they are a reminder, the price he pays and all that), I have seen many posts and takes about that but more abut, well, how he treats his scars. I try to put my thoughts in coherent text.
Vash doesn’t like showing his scars too much. He generally keeps all of his body covered up when he is out and about. He knows his scars are off-putting to others and that they are not pretty to look at. Both in trimax and 98, vash does this squirmy ‘kyaaa’ thing and all that puts a funny twist to the situation.
he does make remarks about how he doesn’t like people to see, though they are more of the ‘girls wont like it because its not pretty and that lowers my chances’ kind. Which really is more a deflection from the horrifying implications of HOW someone got scars like that.
In stampede, vash is also a little sheepish and makes a comment on how wolfwood seeing is scars is ‘embarrassing’.
But other than that, he doesn’t actually seem all that embarrassed about it. He doesn’t even bother covering up after milly and meryl saw him. Especially in trimax when he is traveling with wolfwood he does his training and stuff in just a sleeveless shirt and all. Like, vash genuinely doesn’t seem insecure about his scars (or his lost arm for that matter). Him covering up seems really more a habit than anything else, not because he himself feels any shame about how it looks but to avoid peoples reaction to what they see.
(yeah yeah, we all like to think we wouldn’t be judgmental, mind our own business, not be rude and stare but scares like vashs? With metal sticking out? You sure would look and you sure would wonder at least.) and vash likes just being some dude and not drawing attention.
Like, vash covering up his scares has more to do with him not wanting the extra attention than with him being self-conscious about them. I just thought that was kind of interesting.
(so far, vash also doesn’t seem particularly hesitant to let people get their hands on him to patch him up)
#lets see how that continues#trigun#vash the stampede#though i guess just having people see and acknowledge it is one thing#intimacy probably would be another thing#also he has a CRATE over his heart and looks like he was ripped appart among other things#thats a few levles up from#this person got hurt and now he has ugly scars#its rude to stare or ask about it#vash's scars are easily how are you not death ten times over territory
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But would you tho (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#Schuldig#ZEX#And again the Captain implied from offscreen lol#Two little things ♪ One that Actually happened and one speculation lol#I really like Schuldig :D He's the likeable asshole type and his quirk is very well written :)#I love how he gets on Zelnick's case about his wishy-washy-ness in regards to xenophilia generally and ZEX specifically hehe#Zelnick has no good answer for him! It's so cute hehe <3#But then he turns right around and is wishy-washy himself!! I get the feeling his frustration stems a bit from relating hahaha#Or maybe Zelnick's uncertainty influenced him! It's not such an easy decision to make when you're staring down the barrel is it now :)#Openly attracted to Max's body and flattered by ZEX's personality and outright attraction to him in turn but the alien aspect is too much pf#Sure right okay lol - I have no skin in this game so I'll have to take his word for it haha#Secondarily speculating around ZEX's attraction and standards lol it sounds like an oxymoron but no he is actually a bit picky!#Yes he loves humans generally but he is actually tempered by what mind inhabits what body! It's so interesting to me!#I think it's especially funny how his various desires are in conflict with each other haha#Like it makes sense that he controls himself around Fwiffo - poor thing would have a heart attack - but he genuinely seems less attracted!#Which makes sense to me as well ♪ Spathi and VUX share several traits and were on the same side during the War so he's familiar with them#And he's specifically attracted to differences and novelty - it all lines up!#And then there's also his pride lol he tries to make more friends than enemies of course but he still gets petty and patronizing <3#If he's actually upset with someone /he's/ the one who would need convincing! It's all very interesting :3c#And then there's the matter of his own body vs. Max's body - he's so upset at the metaphysical implications of cloning his consciousness#I've never thought of ZEX in the context of the ''Would you fuck your clone'' questionnaire but I guess I know his answer now haha#Though I still wonder what his reaction would be to Max :0 He's probably not close enough to be ZEX but he is /a/ ZEX - of a sort#All his introspection about the body he's in has my mental ears perked haha - pity and worry for the potential life he's replacing#Discomfort at possibly being Max in some capacity including continuing to be in his body but also of overtaking his life entirely#And of being backed into a corner - Max is pitiful as well as pitiable! Neither of them want to be Max Vyer really#He loves humans but how far does that extend when push comes to shove ♪ It's been interesting watching him fumble through it :)
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might not be super active today? We'll see??
#D noticed a change in me this morning and its a not good change. she thinks I'm starting or already in a depressive episode. i had no idea#until she mentioned it. ill continue to not realize it either even if i think im okay sadly. she gave me some good encouraging#words before she left for work and gave me a big hug. told me if i need anything at all shes here for me. she also said#that she is going to make some of my favourite foods for dinner tonight. shes so nice?#i always seen her as like a mom to me. huh so this is what it feels like to have someone actually give a shit?#she pays attention and knows when im not doing great mentally. i am always blown away because *i* dont even notice it#then someone asks of im okay and i bawl my eyes out for literally no reason but it turns out i wasnt okay because i was#feeling not like a real person <- literally its one of the big things i struggle with and apparently according to D its a big tell that im#in an 'episode' i tend to just sit here and stare 'into space' for awhile.#i hate that she can notice it and i dont even though im the one doing it its a little frustrating to say the least#not self ship#tw: mental illness
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Your lips, my lips (apocalypse)
#omg kzsc but.... theyre staring into each others eyes... *dramatic pause* AND THEYRE FLOATING.#i didn't even caption the one i posted on twitter like this but anyways why do i keep drawing them like this#anyways someone on twitter complimented my coloring on this drawing and they were actually a pretty popular (nsfw) thread maker#in the kzsc community and i was like 🤯🤯🤯 bc i used to see their posts a lot by proxy (ppl i followed rt'd their posts occasionally) and#in my head they were like a Solid Figure™ so realizing they commented on my drawing made me UUUUGGGAHHH#and then i stalked their acc like any sane person would and THEY SAID MY COLORING INSPIRED THEM TO CONTINUE SMTH THEY WERE DRAWING#MY HEART EXPLODES INTO CONFETTI#people are so lovely sometimes#ok time for tags thank u for ur time#genshin impact#sleepy.art#genshin#kaedehara kazuha#genshin impact fanart#kazuha#scaramouche#genshin impact wanderer#genshin wanderer#kazuscara
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so with higher quality photos available and knowing that phantom (new) ghouls horns aren't like mountains, but I know a lot of people have grown fond of the idea:
while getting to meet everyone phantom makes a comment about liking the way mountains horns look and mountain makes little horn caps/tips for him
#mountain ghoul#phantom ghoul#nameless ghouls#new ghoul#the band ghost#okay longer part for me to type here in the tags#specifically swiss offered to show phantom around and goes to introduce him to mountain#they walk up and mountain is busy hunkered down taking care of one of his plants#swiss gets his attention and he stands#and hes so tall#phantoms like staring and swiss goes to introduce them he says “this iw mountain-” before getting cut off by phantom giving a half laugh#phantom then says “yeah no youre not kidding-”#then realizing he hasnt even addressed mountain personally looks up towards his mask/face and clears his thoat a little#and as casually as he can muster says “i like your horns” before trying to skirt away with swiss “to continue the tour”#when really he was just embarrassed he essentially did the walking up to a tall person and going “wow youre tall”#but mountain remembers and the night before phantoms first show he gifts him the little tips he made#saint barks
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you made a post about it today but i want that bug sona of yours carnally i want it to **** on my **** till **** *** *****
I am them and they are me
#On an honest note I burst tf out laughing after seeing this ask#Good whole 15 minutes of blank staring at my screen before violent laughing#Assuming this ask wasn't serious as per the funny censorship#Satirical comedy my beloved#If this was serious idk what to do about it fr 😭#I'm going to assume you're one of my mutuals though hello in that case (I dont think any sane person I don't know would say that)#Continue your funny parade though (with consenting people of course)#asks#bug sona
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why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up
#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director#and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production#and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out#but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again#i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately#so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me#i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me#i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added#and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad#anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much.#but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great#but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else#but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing#and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us#and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing#and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more#especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this.#and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not.#and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING#and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine.#but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad.#because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented#if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that.#but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent.#and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt#i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried.#and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over.#i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help#and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh#brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.
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good god I cannot do this fjdksl this is so much pressure. just received a text from this girl at the centre expressing how she's so glad I'm her friend bc she's never rly had any true friends before, and thats very very nice of her to say but also i cannot fucking do this fjdksl this is so much pressure and every time I'm around her I feel like I'm babysitting which isn't her fault! she is simply not a good match for me in terms of social skills and personality! but i feel like im going to fucking kms bc this is so much pressure and I cannot continue to try to support her mental health and be like. her only source of friendship. while barely being able to keep myself afloat 🧍
#i am going to have a fucking nervous breakdown soon and i do mean that genuinely#i just got that text from her and stared at it for ten seconds before bursting into tears because jesus christ I cannot do this !!!!#i want to be left alone im going to be so honest 😭😭😭 i wish i could just go to the centre and not talk to anyone sometimes#but she's fucking always there#i cannot escape her#she attended my old lady group this week even. like. I can't do this I really can't#i hate myself for being too nice to everyone i have been getting myself into situations like this my entire life#i just cannot tell ppl to back tf off#but these ppl who latch onto me are always so desperately lonely#and dont know how to socialize and i sympathize w that so much#and im the only person who is willing to be understanding of their social difficulties and whatnot#but then i fet stuck with them bc they have nobody else who's willing to be around them#and then i get to have continual breakdowns in private until they either move away to another town or move on somehow#im so fucking frustrated I'm such a goddamn tool and this is going to get me into so much trouble one day#at least online I've been able to block people 😭#but irl .... i cannot do shit about this#I don't know how to fjfkdl i just. i am going to just. [incomprehensible desperate screaming]#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#suicide mention
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i don't know, man, but you don't spend your whole life getting ignored, rejected by everyone you ask out, and treated like some horrible Other Thing without feeling bad about it
#people used to have staring contests with me just to laugh at my face after 5 seconds#i've had assumptions made about my sex life (or rather lack thereof) by just looking at me#i've gotten asked out as a joke#i am a joke#and i don't know how to pretend i'm not#i don't know how to recover from this damage#and my continued loneliness doesn't help#still nobody wants to look at me#and it causes a lot of insecurity and self hatred#because i don't want to look in the mirror and see the person people think is a horrid creature#you know?#but that's what i am#negative#body image
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i may or may not have to mention but i hate people and i hate talking to people
#i just had to sit a lady down in an office and offer her coffee haha#but the worst part is that idk if the guy is actually going to be here in “10 minutes”#he is not famous for being on time#and the fact that he ws on the phone with me as the lady fucking walked in... does not bode well#we also have zero meeting snacks.#or water. and she didnt want coffee#god. i will actually kill myself if i have to do this again#now i get to spiral endlessly on whether or not i behaved normally#HE'S HERE HE WASNT EVEN LATE!!!!!!!!#YIPPIE#omg he was like i told the girls they should offer you some coffee (PERSUMABLY BECAUSE SHE DIDNT HAVE COFFEE)#andshe was like oh yes they asked but i asked for water and i have that now 😊#me when i do task good : yippie!#now please let me continue staring at an excel sheet now and not look at a single person ever again
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Some loose character designs for my friends and I’s newest DND campaign! We’re just three silly little guys,,,
#chia draws#dnd#dnd5e#dnd character#this is our first time w 5e! we usually go w the pathfinder system#we nearly died to some level 1 goons in our first battle it was embarrassing#me: (misses)#my friend: “bah! you useless cleric! this is how it’s done!”#(misses)#we stared at each other like ……. welp#our friend (druid): WHY AM I AT THE FRONTLINES YOU GUYS ARE THE MELEE UNITS#us: (stuck in a continuous cycle of missing at one (1) enemy) we can’t let this guy fucking win. this is personal now#it’s very obvious which one’s mine if you’re vaguely familiar w my type LMAOOO
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idk if this is awful to say but i’m so tired of living somewhere where i’m like 1 of 3 white people in at least a 10 mile radius. i get stared at everywhere i go like im an unwelcome outsider and i don’t get why
#like bro im minding my business reading a book in the park#but by just existing i feel like a Spectacle#and they don’t look away when you meet their gaze!!!#they just continue staring at me until i guess they get bored#personal
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Hey I saw your post about wanting check marks but not being able to afford it so I thought I would spread a lil joy <3 enjoy your Very Important Internet Checkmarks!
Hello thank you I love you you made my day 🥺❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙 (rainbow hearts for rainbow checkmarks)
#anon i love you#like....my day was pretty shitty but this makes me!!! so happy!!!!#yeah i am a simple person like that#continuing to stare at these checkmarks like narcissus at his mirror image
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