#crazy. me when she died she killed herself she’s gone and she’s just now realizing what that means. she’s just now feeling the consequences

[silvery-stars]

me when flowers from hadestown

[inky125]

Mary Linton and Jack Marston meeting in 1922

Okay but these are just my headcanons for the very improbable scenario that they end up bumping into each other in the future. / My headcanons for what they would do with their lives after the events of rdr/rdr2

(I'm going to explain them under the cut)

Okay so, starting with Jack:

I want to believe Jack lived a more or less normal life after killing Ross, successfully getting away with this one (1) murder, and having that as a skeleton in his closet. Not finding peace really, so the whole revenge thing doesn't fix his miserable life but he can go on to try to do something with his life. Gunslinging doesn't really have a place anymore here.

When the US joined WWI I know that boy DID NOT join the US Army, he would NEVER join the group that killed his dad, or make the same mistake as him and make a deal with the government. He would rather be jailed for dodging the draft, what will they do, threaten him with what? He has nothing to live for really, so they can't make him. I don't think he cares much if he gets shot (he has a like saying as much in rdr when he duels Ross).

After the whole jail thing he'd go back to a more or less normal life, I'd guess he would have to have a regular job and write whenever he's able (I want to believe that one Easter egg in GTA is canon...it is to me...), but I don't think he'd be able to make a living just from writing.

As for Mary, I always wondered why Mary was dressed the way she was during the credits cut scene in Rdr2. Because I'm guessing it takes place in 1907 (given that most cut scenes appear to happen at the same time more or less than the epilogue). But I wondered why Mary was dressing in black; I mean, during the Victorian era there were very specific mourning traditions, especially for women. Wearing black was pretty much a part of a social thing, you'd publicly mourn. The extension of your mourning would depend on who died and what was your relationship with them.

And here is the thing, Arthur had died 8 years ago by then, we could assume Mary had found out shortly after of his dead because newspapers in the Rdr2 universe love to brag whenever law enforcement/Pinkertons kill renown outlaws. (Even Arthur and Hosea get mentioned years later in some sort of article in 1907 too). And additionally, we know that Mary kept up with how the gang, especially Arthur, was doing through the news on the newspapers. So again, it wouldn't be crazy to assume she knew about Arthur's death back in 1899.

So then, why is she wearing a black dress to visit his grave in 1907?. Black is the color of mourning, but as far as I am aware (and correct me if I'm wrong) it was not required to visit a grave back in the day. So I like to headcanon Mary mourning Arthur like a widow, because widows would have to wear their black weeds for 2 years (there were different periods of mourning, for instance Mary's clothes could be classified under the 'half-mourning' type, meaning there has been at least 6 months since her loved one passed away, meaning she could now wear some jewelry, other colours, ect.

But here is a little extra, Queen Victoria popularized among some women the practice to never abandon their period of half mourning, and especially, keep wearing black the rest of their lives even if they move on, as a sign of love for their dead husband.

Mary and Arthur never got married, but I like to think Mary lived as a widow for him. Continuing with her life as normal, of course, but always having that bittersweet ache in her heart, dressing in black out of respect and love for him and the life they couldn't have. Even if she had wanted to move on from him after she realized they couldn't be together as Arthur wouldn't leave the gang, I think she would have folded if Arthur had gone after her (I mean she did re-initiate contact after they were supposed to never speak again), and I think she was still preparing herself emotionally when she heard the news that Arthur was dead, ironically not moving on from him.

She didn't remarry, Jamie made good money and maintained her, Mary knew the kind of life she didn't want and she could be respectable and old as a widow. Plus marrying someone new at her age would be a titanic task.

I think Mary kept her mother's brooch Arthur returned for her as her reminder of him, given that she returned the picture and the ring. In fact she's wearing it when she visits Arthur's grave in-game!. So I kept that

It just warms my heart to think of the very few people left who knew about the gang finding each other in usual ways. Maybe next time I'd do Sadie or Charles. I'm just a sucker for this kind of things

[seireitonin]

Some Jane hcs?

🖤Yes :3 luv her 🖤 (will be going off Jane R, the canon one not Jane A. I love the lesbian representation Jane R is! :) Also some of these are gonna be canon)

Jane was a woman with a normal life

The two suburban parents, normal school life, normal love life

Just normal and happy

Her and Mary met in high school

Mary was a cheerleader and Jane being her best friend at the time watched and supported her

Jane didn’t realize she was a lesbian till she saw Mary with a boyfriend in high school and got extremely jealous and didn’t understand why

And Jane never liked a boy before but she knew she felt something for Mary

When Mary and her boyfriend broke up Jane and her cuddled as Jane comforted her and they shared their first kiss

They stayed together ever since then

Even though it was the 90s/ 2000s when they started dating most people accepted them

Jane’s parents included

They got married as soon as they were able to

Jane’s normal life continued with Mary until her parents were killed by an at the time 19 year old Jeff

Jane was absolutely devastated and wracked with grief

She stayed in bed not moving for months

Some days she just cried and screamed and nothing else

She also got paranoid

What if he tried to hurt Mary next?

How could Jane let that happen?

She couldn’t

So she did research on Jeff like crazy

It was really unhealthy

Also took self defense classes and made Mary take some too

But with all Jane read about this guy, she knew that still wouldn’t be enough

She wanted to avenge her parents, the police were useless in helping

She wanted to protect Mary, Jane can’t bare to loose the love of her life

So what’s the answer to those problems?

Take a risky government observed and produced experimental drug called Liquid Hate of course!

She went into the facility blank faced, telling them they could experiment on her

Inject her with as much as they needed

Make her stronger and she would do anything for them

She was willing to throw away her old life completely for revenge

Jane didn’t care. In her mind any chance she had at a “normal life” died with her parents

She would be too afraid, too full of grief and pain and paranoia to live a normal life and move on

So she would become a weapon to protect the one person that matters to her. Mary.

It’s all she could do

And that’s exactly what happened

Her transformation was slow and painful

Pre transition she had dark hazel eyes and really dark brown hair

Now she has all black eyes and lips, pale skin and black hair

When she was injected with it it’s like all her anger came out full force for 2 minutes and she lost all control of herself

She destroyed everything in the room, lashed out at the scientists, injuring a lot of them

They had to sedate her and strap her down

When she came to, she apologized and is more or less acts like her normal self

She looked in the mirror

Her old life was truly gone

They told Jane all about her new powers which include

Enhanced strength and speed, vocal mimicking, shape shifting, healing, regeneration and regeneration of limbs, drug and alcohol tolerance and almost infinite stamina (this is canon btw)

Jane was now an assassin for the CIA and FBIs Justice Department (also canon)

And she didn’t even tell Mary

Jane went home and Mary screamed until Jane calmed her down

“Mary, it’s me! I-“

“What the fuck did you do?!”

“What I had to do to keep you safe.”

“And that is?!”

Jane explained everything

“What…how…you…”

“I know it’s jarring okay? But it’s still…me. I understand if you can’t love me because I look like this. I understand if you want to go. But just know I truly did do this for you and for myself. I have to protect you and avenge my parents.”

“You are so impulsive and stupid! But you’re still as beautiful as ever. You know I’m never going anywhere.”

They shared a kiss in the kitchen

Jane was so lucky to have Mary

Jane takes out any criminal asked of her and ones not asked of her too

Rapists, serial killers, p3d0s, abusers

Anyone that society doesn’t need

But her ultimate goal is to kill the man that killed her parents

Jeff the killer

She won’t stop until that happens

Jane doesn’t kill or hurt innocent people

She wouldn’t dream of it

Why be like the man she hates?

Jane’s actually really nice despite everything

She can be very sarcastic and snarky too though but can you blame her?

She’s still violent towards criminals though

Like extremely violent

They remind her of Jeff and she calls it “practice” for when she finally gets her hands on him

His death will be slow and painful

Jane has a sister and other surviving family members that she hasn’t seen in a while (how could she even begin to explain her life now)

Jane is 38 years old

Born September 1st 1985

Jane is Wasian (white and Asian, Japanese specifically) but looks more Japanese

She kinda looks like a type of vengeful Japanese spirit called the Onryō and has come to like it

people think she is one sometimes

Especially when she makes weird ass noises to freak out her victims/ mess with them

Jane really relates to Onryō due to the stuff that happened in her life

Her mother would often tell her stories about the Onryō especially around Halloween

Jane finds it ironic that she kinda looks like one with her pale skin, tall stature and long black hair

Especially when she wears white since Onryō are often depicted in white burial kimonos

She especially feels like one when she comes out of the darkness, quietly and slowly as if she’s floating her black eyes looking at her victim through the dark

She specifically relates to some parts of the story of Lady Owia. A man ruining Jane’s life, “killing” her old self and the life she knew, making her a vengeful person and leaving her “disfigured” and looking like an Onryō

Sometimes she still gets upset and will scream and cry at night in the middle of nowhere, making her look and sound like a spirit in pain

Despite the fact she’s still alive she sometimes feels like she died with her parents

Maybe she is just an Onryō in a humans body

She can speak fluent Japanese thanks to her mom

Jane understands Kagekao fully

Both of them being gay Japanese people who have pale skin and are good fighters is really coincidental

Kagekao thought Jane was a spirit or something supernatural due to the grief and vengeance coming off her

But to his disappointment she’s just a cool looking human

Jane really doesn’t like him

He’s a serial killer who kills people for shits and giggles like Jeff and she can’t stand that

Jane knows he’s a demon because he told her and Kagekao thought Jane wouldn’t understand him

They both also have voice mimicking powers and they use it against each other all the time

Jane is jealous of his parkour skills though, she wants to get better at it

When Jane is in a violent mood or in a fight black veins will appear all over her body, but it’s most noticeable oh her face and especially on her temples and forehead leading into her eyes as the veins pump and bulge with blood. Very unsettling to look at.

Jane is usually 5’10 but if she wants to look more intimidating in a fight she will make herself taller like 6’3-6’5

Jane is romantic/ trad goth and listens to the music since she was born in the 80s and grew up in the 90s it’s nostalgic for her

Jane wears black everyday because she thinks all other colors look bad on her

She wears white to sleep though

Jane’s eyes are pitch black so you have no idea where she’s looking or what she’s looking at

It’s kinda scary when she looks at you especially if it’s dark

But she’s pretty so it’s okay

Loves Japanese comfort foods and will cook them a lot like really good ramen, mochi ice cream, udon, kastu curry, tempura and hot pot

It reminds her of her mom

Jane’s kinda happy that she has long shiny black hair like her mom now

If you were ever gonna run into a Creepypasta and live, Jane’s definitely your best bet

Likes to shapeshift to look normal to take Mary on dates

Wears black dresses when she’s not fighting but when she is, jeans and a sweater all black of course

Sounds like Amy Lee from Evanescence when she sings

A smooth soothing voice when she talks

Lived with Mary in their home till she got roped in with all the other pastas (but that’s a completely different hc list completely)

Since Jane works for the government she’s rich. Like really rich

So she’s always clean and put together

Can walk in heels like a pro

Jane’s a queen and I love her

This isn’t proofread I made this at 3 am sorry lol

[bronx-bomber87]

Good Evening and Happy Tuesday. Ahhh we’ve reached glorious s4 aka the season where Tim and Lucy emotionally date each other while they’re in relationships without realizing it LOL The amount of emotional intimacy we get in this season is unreal. We get more growth for them both personally and professionally. Also the insane amount of work flirts is crazy but amazing. I love this season so much. Let’s get going with the premiere.

4x01 Life and Death

When we last left our gang Angela was abducted from her wedding. We start the ep out with an intense OP in progress. Tim asking Wade if they have permission to enter? Grey has a flashback to Angela’s original disappearance before he answers. We hear Lucy saying Jackson is gone along with Angela. We end up in Grey’s office with a gruesome video of their abduction.

We watch as Angela is loaded into a van and Jackson is taken as well. It’s then we see Jackson fight back but he is shot and killed immediately. Loaded into the trunk like cargo. It's horrifying to witness tbh. Watching everyone’s reactions is crushing. They’re all in shock at what they’ve just seen. Can’t believe it’s happened. Lucy’s kills me the most. Harper and Tim are shell shocked. Nolan is a statue. Grey looking as devastated as I’ve ever seen him.

What was supposed to be this momentous and happy occasion is anything but. Lucy just lost her best friend in the blink of an eye. Hurts to watch. All of them are stunned into silence. I remember watching the premiere thinking no way they just killed Jackson right? He must be ok....Just wounded..... Unfortunately that is not the case. We lose him to La Fiera’s senseless violence. I rewound the scene to make sure. I was so stunned I couldn't grasp it. Ugh. It's such a heartbreaking way to start the season off.

Grey comes back to the present and confirms Jackson been killed when replying to the Tactical Leader. The leader saying they need more time before they breach. Grey lets him know been 3 hours since Jackson was killed and Angela was taken. He wants his people to go in he can't wait. Tells Tim and the others to breach now. They’re searching the warehouse where they tracked the car that took her. They make it inside and see the car is empty. Lopez’s wedding dress on the ground.

Lucy goes to grab it when Nolan stops her. Says there’s a trip wire and it leads or C4 under the car. They head back out and request the bomb squad. Saying they can’t track the next vehicle till the scene is clear. As they’re leaving Nolan spots the dirt road outside it. Actually has useful information for once saying they took a plane not a car….

We return to Lucy with Nolan at the station. She’s currently beating herself up for not catching that trip wire. You just lost your best friend love. It’s ok to be a little unfocused. Lucy is breaking my damn heart. Anytime she cries it just hurts to watch. Melissa crushing it over here. The way she loses it over talking about Jackson hurts my soul. She’s wearing her medal he gave her too. Killing me softly with the details. I want to hug her but Tim will cover that for me shortly.

She asks if Nolan if he really thinks Lopez is alive? He says yes. Harper and Tim enter asking why he thinks that? They all start theorizing why she took Angela and where. Tim tells them they have to look at it with cop eyes not personal ones. Lucy brings up the baby. How they bonded over motherhood. That psychologically she could see how Angela betrayed that bond when Diego died. The best revenge would be to take her baby..So dark and twisted.

Grey comes in and tells them the DEA isn’t going to help them due to politics. That being the short answer. Really just red tape BS. Their main focus is finding Jackson’s killer which will hopefully give them a beat on Angela. They figure out Jackson scratched his killer as his final act. Knew he was going to die so he took his DNA with him. They’re rushing results to find out who and that he’s hopefully in the system. He went out like a bad ass doing that gotta say.

Grey tells them all to get some rest if they can. I love her letting Nolan pass by her first. Hanging back for Tim. Needing to show her deepest vulnerabilities with him only. Craving his comfort and a deeper convo with her person. Her and Nolan had a surface talk earlier. What she needs is so much more than that right now. So she naturally turns to Tim. Waits for them to be alone before spilling her emotional guts completely.

First off let me say I love the height difference shot here. Feel like we haven’t had a significant one in a hot minute. I’ll always love the tall/smol between them. Gives me ship tinglies in a way I can not put into words. Hehe Also what seems like intentional distance between them during this scene. Because we know what’s coming in their next one. Zero space between them.

Lucy confiding in Tim how she can’t go back to her apt right now. To his empty room...it’s far too much for her at the moment. Tim instantly offers up his place to her. Saying she shouldn’t have to. No hesitation whatsoever offering up solace with him. That part of himself he can’t explain with her taking the wheel in this moment. All he knows is she’s hurting and he wants to help her hurt less. It’s an innate reaction of his to protect her emotionally. Even when he doesn’t understand it. It’s that instinct that drives this decision.

Lucy being Lucy doesn’t want to impose on him. Even when she’s intensely grieving she’s thinking of others. Thing is she is anything but an imposition to Tim. Never has been never will be. He reinforces his offer telling her she shouldn’t be alone right now. Tim isn't taking no for an answer. He see's she is hurting and vulnerable so he wants to protect that. Protect her.

No way he was he going to relax or get sleep of any kind knowing how upset she was. Lucy caves and accepts his sweet offer. Too tired and emotionally drained to fight him any further on it. Tells him Thanks and Tim is brief in his reply. 'Yeah.' Just wanting to get her out of the station to decompress. Get her away from anything that will remind her of Jackson right now.

Next is the moment that is burned into all of our memories. So many facets of this moment to dissect. It’s glorious. Tim being chivalrous takes the couch. Or tries to at least. Lucy won’t allow it at all. Tim says he can’t let a guest sleep on the couch. They battle a little and Lucy wins. (Cause Wifey usually wins ha) Tim gets up and you can tell he wants to do more for her. Erase her pain or comfort her more. He just isn't sure how...

He asks her if she needs anything? Lucy almost replicating her reply in 2x12 about time travel. Tim once again wishing he had the ability to reverse time for her. If he could engineer a time machine just to take her hurt away it would be built already. No doubt in my mind he would move heaven and earth to make that happen. Instead he replies he unfortunately doesn’t have that power. So Lucy asks for something he most definitely can give. A hug. Love her being this vulnerable and asking him for what she really needs.

Then comes this beautifully intimate hug. It’s the way he pulls her in as she’s falling apart. She is clinging to Tim like he’s the only thing that will keep her together. (Good shot of that ring too..pretty sure that’s intentional) How she folds into arms effortlessly and buries herself in his chest. Like she was always meant to fit there. A puzzle piece fitting perfectly into place.

How gently he cradles her head. So delicate with his hand. It's so tender and affectionate. Encasing her in his arms fully. Space is not a word they know in this moment. It's like he’s trying to shield her from her pain by enveloping her completely. Strokes her hair in a very intimate manner. While she is clinging to him for dear life. Their chemistry is explosive in just the hug alone. I'm getting overwhelmed with feels just writing about this. The way he pulls away is very telling. It’s not just an instant break from their hug.

Tim lingers in his proximity to her. You can see it in the 4th gif above. Running his hands down her arms very slowly. Like he’s trying to extend his time touching her. Waiting to the very last inch to let go. Even when he runs out of real estate he gives her a little affectionate squeeze. Lucy isn’t adding to their distance either. Her head still very close to his chest when they part ways from this hug. She looks like she isn't ready for it to end. Her body still instinctively leaning toward his.

Tim still hasn’t stopped touching her yet. Look at that first gif. He’s still rubbing her other arm as he gazes down at her. The vulnerable way Lucy is looking up at him. *oh my lord* Still leaning into his touch. Into him. The intense shared glances they have here is electric. Lightning in a bottle chemistry goodness is what this is. I remember first time I watched this I felt like my skin was tingling with excitement. Couldn’t believe they were staring at each other like this. How they looked liked they could possibly kiss. I held my breath.

It’s that magnetic pull of theirs. They’re drawn to one another in general. This is the first time they’ve been this close to each other. Probably since the 2x11 moment where he cradled her. But this is much much different. Tim is the one to break it off before they lean into each other any further. I think he knows what will happen if he doesn’t stop this. Tim being the honorable man he is won’t take advantage of her in this state.

I also think this is Tim's ‘Uh Oh’ moment with Lucy. Man isn’t aware of his feelings just yet (ain’t even close to being ready for that) but he is VERY aware of his attraction in this moment. He can't fight the fact he is attracted to Lucy anymore. That much is obvious with this entire hug and his touches. He just showed his hand to her. One he had so tightly guarded to his chest for so long. So he cuts it off before it can develop into something more. Is the one with more self control by telling her good night. Lucy's face after he’s walked away looks like she just had an epiphany. Like ‘Oh shit I’m in love with Tim Bradford..’ Melissa’s face says it all for me.

It falls in line with the she fell first he fell harder scenario. It’s then we see them both trying to come down from their emotional high. The adrenaline of being that close to one another. What almost happened. This moment reminds me of one of my all time fav Caskett moments. Castle watches Beckett go to her hotel room after a similar almost kissed moment. He stares at the closed door and you see Beckett fighting with herself on the other side. Debating to open the door. By the time she gets the guts to open it Castle is long gone into his room.

The way they both stare in the others direction with intense longing. *heart damn clutch* Tim can’t get settled and neither can Lucy. Both trying to process the intense moment they just had. She looks like she’s having an internal battle with herself above. We say Lucy breaks Tim brain a lot and she does. But in this moment Tim has broken her's and she is having an internal struggle after they part.

Now Lucy is the one who decides to go for it. Can’t take sitting in her thoughts any longer. Stares at his bedroom door and gets up. She instantly retreats when she hears him come back into the room. Scurrying back to the couch so Tim doesn’t know what her plans were. Tim telling her Wesley knows where Angela is. The mood shifting completely.

Makes you wonder what her plans were had Tim not gotten that call. Was she going to knock on his door? Just give him a look and they would give into their emotions? I mean she must’ve had a plan of some sort. Possibly relying on that silent communication of theirs to say everything for her? The UST in this moment is off the charts. It’s the first time either of them are truly aware of the sexual tension between them. It really hit Lucy hard with her wanting to act on it.

I’ll always be happy with the way they got together. I adore the canon version. Them getting together in this moment would’ve been very messy. But I adore the tease we got to start the season for them. Was a very promising sign. I remember thinking damn this season gonna be amazing. It felt like it was their pre-get together season. And it was exactly that. Also I'll never be over the fact she’s in his clothes and wearing them damn well might I add. I am dead this scene so so good haha

Everyone arrives at Tim’s place for next steps. Also is no one going to question why Lucy is already there? No? ok...LOL This is totally normal. What I love most about this next section is how in-sync they are. Just a matching power couple in black. Also cross armed Tim mmm my fav. Sexy forearm time look at those puppies. Mm love to lick those like a lollipop. Yum. Also the intense amount of heart eyes Lucy is throwing him in this scene. Girl you have an audience put those away LMAO Clearly has not come down from her hug high. If Tim looked her way in that moment he would've been speechless with their intensity.

Wesley is telling them Angela is at a compound in Guatemala. That he’s going to get her back but he needs some help. Everyone jumps in and Grey stops them. Saying only people truly qualified for this is Harper and Tim. (Why Nolan gets to be apart of their OP based on that logic idk LOL) Nolan does bring up the good point about Max from 2x14. The counterfeiting case they had where they let his team go in exchange for their killer.

Tim explaining to Grey his unit runs covert operations all over the world. He could get them in undetected. He owes them for not putting his sins on blast. He would give them tactical support on the ground as well. Lucy is gonna hang back with Grey per his decision to help on Jackson’s murder case. While Nolan will fold in with Tim and Nyla to contact Max and get their mission going.

They land and their original plan doesn’t pan out. It was to get in covertly through the blueprints Nolan steals. Unfortunately Plan A is squashed due their covert entrance having a steel gate installed. Covering up the only weak spot for the house making the blueprints useless. Tim also brings up if they’ve added this gate who knows what else they’ve added inside? Says they have to go to Plan B which Nolan and Harper bitch to him about lol

Tim is the ONLY ONE with military experience. He knows how to quickly adapt in a hostile environment especially when a plan goes to shit. Even though its super risky it's their best option. Nolan I expect the whining from. Harper should appreciate this since she was a UC. Yeah its not ideal but bitching at him doesn't make it better. It's only ok when Lucy does it haha

I do love this scene above so much it’s underrated IMO. Lucy telling him she doesn’t like Plan B is too funny. He looks so damn exasperated by her dislike of the plan. Harper and Nolan turning around is too funny I have to say. Like we told you she wouldn’t like this plan....When really it’s just her worry coming through in spades. Her person is in potential danger and she doesn’t get to have his back. Lucy is very far away and her worry is very evident. The secondary plan puts him in more danger. Danger she can't control that from another country. So she is a little anxious. Poor thing.

Side note before we delve into the moment above. Military Tim is a flavor I like very much. Look at him. How does this man make such an ordinary outfit sexy as hell? He’s wearing the hell out of that t-shirt Ovary explosion on-top of his sexy biceps popping out of it. *fans self* Also its not shown here but his belt hanging over the edge of his pants. Wish I could've fit more gifs of Military Tim. I'm bummed I could not haha (shakes fist at tumblr's gif limit) Anyways It’s like he wants me to implode from the thirst trap that he is. Plus the 5’clock shadow lining that sexy jawline. Have mercy.

Anyways another underrated moment in this episode is Lucy telling him to be careful. It’s such a loaded moment. Look at the way she is anxiously shifting around. You can see Lucy is bouncing her knees up and down trying to get her nerves out. She not even close to processing losing Jackson right now. She can’t fathom losing her person too. Lucy needs to let him know to be careful and she’s worried. That she cares. Lucy is so very stressed for Tim. It's driving her insane she doesn’t have his back in this moment.

If Harper wasn’t there I’m sure his answer would’ve been a little different. More sincere and soft. Since Harper is Tim is doing his macho confidence thing to keep her from worrying instead. Tim is also confident in this plan even if it’s more complicated. More shock and awe. As he says. Sending Angela into pre-mature labor then intercepting her at the hospital with the antidote. Which they do pretty flawlessly. Angela dispatching of La Fiera while pregnant was pretty damn bad ass before getting away. Also I love them all pulling a gun on Max to pick up Wesley/Nolan HA Wesley and Angela's reunion in the helicopter is super sweet I love them ❤️

Fast forwarding 3 months to her having the baby, them all healing a bit more after Jackson’s death was a good call. Angela and Wes arrive home to a welcome home party. Lucy could not be cuter with her excitement over her baby basket. She made her all these organic and homeopathic cookies. Once Lucy departs Harper tells her not eat the cookies LMFAO But it was something positive for Lucy to focus on. It made her happy to assemble it for Angela. So sweet.

The episode ends with Angela talking to Jackson’s gravestone. Ugh my heart. Her updating him on everything. Saying she hopes by the time her leave is over she can face the station without him there. Killing me Angela. I love them naming their kid after him. Gut punch to the feels. Ep starts with a gut punch and ends with one. Hell of a start to an incredible season.

Side notes- non chenford

I love when Grey says he’s feeling biblical about losing Jackson. We all were Wade. So upsetting…

The intro of Elijah. He’s a solid baddie I enjoy his SL with Wesley. The things we do for those we love. Actor is solid af cause I hate him so much haha doing his job well.

Also in that post hug scene I love that Tim has a photo of Kojo on his bedside table I love this man sfm.

It is very kind of Grey to remind Nolan he’s done as a rookie. Everyone in the room is happy he’s a P2. He’s a putz but a somewhat likable one haha

I love the portion with Grey and Lucy. They got a hit on the DNA. They’re riding together to get this little shit. Lucy is still rattled and Wade tries to help her get past it. What’s great is he starts out as the one telling her she has to be professional, do her job everyone is depending on her too.

Especially Jackson’s family. Then he has a crisis of conscious right before he arrests him. His speech to that kid hurts to listen to. ‘A young man so full of life. Hurts my soul to think of him in that dark room on that cold table’ oof.

I will give it to Nolan him saving Wesley was pretty awesome. That’s his one compliment this season from me haha

Thank you as always to this incredible fandom, you amazing supporters who like, comment and reblog. Means everything. Shall see you all in 4x02 :)

[unlikelyempathpruneauthor]

Arvin x Reader One shot

A/n: back again and most likely disappear had this in one of my drafts hehe hope you enjoy!! before you read there are mentions of a person unaliving themselves so slight trigger warning ‼️

You met Lenora at school sitting in the lunchroom all lonesome,you walked over to her and had stares like daggers when you made your way to her. She looked up and all she could do was stare at you and your bows in your hair with your nice smile as you placed your things on the table and sat across from her, “hi, im y/n, what's your name?” she asked as Lenora was in awe of your kindness, “im Lenora…you sure you wanna sit here?” she asked as you nodded, “yeah, is it okay if i sit here?” you asked as she smiled, “yes, it's very nice to have someone here,” she said as you two talked about anything. Lenora loved how she would spend time with you and she had even explained as to why she was all alone.Her family was such a talk around here, they had gone through so much. The time you had with her was nice. In the beginning you only saw her in the lunchroom, after school you never got sight of her. As time went on you found out why she sped on home, there was this group of boys who would tease her about herself and how her brother arvin had a special relationship according to them and no evidence at all of what was going on.

“They just got nothin better to do,” she explained and you fully believed in her word, “i believe you, those dumbasses probably have it worse that's why they say words that aren't true,” you said as she nodded as you and her walked out of school, “the good thing is they stopped, but it really scares me sometime,”

Out of nowhere this boy walked up to you two, “lenora i thought i told you to book it once the bell rings,” he spoke looking at you then her, “i know, but- oh god where are my manners, y/n this is arvin my brother and arvin this is probably my only friend in this whole school,” she said as you nodded, “hi, sorry for taking her away for a little, just wanted to make sure she was getting home fine,” you explained to arvin as he just couldn't keep his eye off you, “i-its okay sorry, its just i get real worried, it's nice to meet you y/n,” he said still stern as he was he walked back to his car as he looked over at you two talked, “well i'll see you later yeah?” lenora said, “yeah don't worry i'll probably see you at church at latest,” you suggested as she nodded having a better idea, “you know what, what if you come for dinner saturday, that way you can sleep over and we can go to church on sunday,” as you nodded, “Really? You sure?” you asked knowing her momma was strict about it. She was more sure than anything, her momma knew that she had no friends, but after hearing so much about you she was more than happy to have you over and spend time with them.

The time you had with the Russell family was like having another family. You only had your aunt who took you after your daddy died in the war. You didn't have a mother, she left you with your daddy after having you, so you had more in common with Lenora and her folks than people thought. This also gave you time with arvin on a personal level, he liked you since the minute he saw you, he felt what his daddy felt when he saw his momma. 

“Now come on, lenora wont mind, if anything she will be happy we got together,” arvin said as you walked along the sidewalk reading your book, “oh arvin you are such a tease, you do realize when she sees us together she seeing those damn bells ringing,” you smirked as he smiled, “oh honey you ain't seen nothin yet, you will hear those bells ringing i will be marrying you,” which made you look up, “you are one crazy boy,” he said placing a kiss on your cheek, “only for you sweetheart,”

When Lenora killed herself, you found her in the closet looking for her, she wasn't feeling too good for church so you brought her medicine to feel all better, “now where could she be? Lenora! Girl, where are you-” you opened the door and saw her hanging by the rope, your heart was clenching and it only took you a moment to react, “Oh my…Arvin! Help! Please!” you repeated over and over, arvin ran as quick as he could and saw you screaming for his sister, took him a moment to react too and help you get her off the rope. All you remember was there was so much screaming. Lenora was the last person you would think to do this. 

Which leads you to where you are now, you and arvin got married even after everything that happened to arvin you stuck with him. You two both had terrible lives, but now you were given the chance to live the way you deserved after everything. In a new town where no one knew yall. You bought a house together and worked jobs for the time being and just saw how life would treat you. 

You weren't feeling too good lately so you called out of work for a couple days, “you sure you're feeling good? Why don't I take you to the doctor, even better call him here hon,” you nodded, “im okay it's probably the flu arv, just go to work, i'll call you if anything happens, yeah?” you assured him as he nodded, he kissed you goodbye and headed to work hoping you were okay. He hated when you got sick he worried so much it had reminded him of his momma and especially Lenora. He knew you were not capable of doing such, but being sick just reminded him of awful memories. 

He hurried on home with some medicine and some soup hoping it made you feel better, he walked in and started calling your name, “y/n honey i got some soup and some stuff that will-” he was cut off seeing you laid out on the floor, he was quickly to panic trying to wake you up as you got out of the state you were in, “arvin, what happened,” you said looking around your surrounding seeing you had been on the ground, “you were just on the ground like you was dead, what- did someone do something? What happend?” he said, still quite panicked, " I was just getting water, that's it,” you said as he picked you up and he called the doctor. 

The doctor ran all the tests insisted by arvin wanting to make sure everything was okay, once the doctor walked toward arvin he was quick to stand, the news he had just heard was far from his mind than anything he expected.

He walked back to your room as you sat in bed reading your book, once you saw Arvin you were quick to put it down, “so? What is it arvin? Do we have to start praying,” you stood up as he was quick to hold you sitting you down, “no honey, well maybe, it's all good were havin a baby,” he spat very happy, “you serious, oh my arvin, were havin a baby, oh arv,” you said tearing up, “hey hey, it's all good news, i married you for a reason, i ain't going nowhere, we are havin this baby,” he said as you looked over at him as you shook your head, “oh arv it's nothing like that, it's just…lenora, she would be here,” you said as he hugged you, “i know honey, but hey, if we have a girl we can name her lenora,” you nodded very happy, “we can oh god we can,” you both were over the moon and emotional all in the same boat not wanting this moment to be over. You worked so hard to be where you are, you were both thanking god, even arvin.

[woodland-fairy-tay]

Possible controversial Red Dead Redemption 2 topic. Brace yourselves.

SPOILERS BELOW!!!

When Molly gets taken down by Miss Grimshaw, at the start of chapter 6, you’ll get to walk around the camp and talk to members of the gang and hear their responses to how they feel about Molly‘s departure, and by what Molly told Dutch and the gang about her “betrayal”.

There’s one particular member of the gangs response that always bothered me or rubbed me the wrong way and that was Sadie’s. Only because when we meet Sadie in chapter 1 through chapter 6, we don’t see any interaction between her and Molly so for her to have such strong hate towards Molly and her death makes little to no sense to me. Everybody else in the gang makes sense because they’ve known Molly for few months to a few years. I mean hell, Mary-Beth and Karen felt bad for Molly‘s death. Karen, who, often got into arguments and physical fights with Molly, got into a screaming match with Miss Grimshaw over killing Molly and calling Miss Grimshaw a murderer, because she knew that Molly wasn’t a rat, and that Molly was simply in love.

When we rescue John from Sisika Penitentiary, Sadie calls Molly a bitch (“The bitch”) due to ratting on the gang. Which, of course, later in the chapter we find out that Molly was not the rat, it was Micah, Molly only said that to get Dutch’s attention and possibly just get herself killed. I don’t know. We don’t fully know what was going on in Molly‘s headspace besides her being drunk and a woman betrayed by someone who she loved. I failed to record it, but when I was walking around the camp, Sadie had mentioned that Molly got what she deserved, and that Miss Grimshaw did the right thing, only adding on to my confusion as to why she’s so bitter.

In Sadie defense, I get it because she’s a part of the gang now, and she’s loyal to some of the gang members who she cares about. This is her new family now, considering what happened to her husband. Members such as Arthur, Abigail, John, Jack, and Charles. I can’t really speak on everybody else because it’s not really shown throughout the story as strongly as everyone else mentioned a sentence ago. And for someone to rat on the gang meant you had to go (by death or kicked out). I’d like to point out that Arthur didn’t want Molly to be killed, he wanted her to be tossed out simply because she had gone crazy, and when we play as Arthur, it shows that even he doesn’t fully believe that she ratted on the gang. 

In some ways, I wish that rockstar had made some conversations between Molly and Sadie, to which Sadie could talk to Molly about her husband. Telling Molly about how a real man shows his love and devotion to his woman. That way that could be something they could bond over. Maybe that could’ve been the driving force to make Molly realize that Dutch never really loved her. Molly could’ve lived instead of died, and she could’ve escaped the gang and moved on somewhere else to live a better life instead of what she got in the end. I just don’t agree with Sadie emotions/behavior (I don’t know how to word it) towards Molly considering they had little to no interaction with each other.

Am I overthinking this??? Also, I’d like to point out that this is not me hating on Sadie in no way, shape or form. I just want to put that out there for all the Sadie lovers. I love her too, but I had to put that out there.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Would any of the non Bella cullens pull a And then there were none?

And Then There Were None, a fic by me and @therealvinelle where Bella decides to murder everyone.

No.

Even for Bella, this required very specific circumstances to occur. There had to be a fight with the Cullens beforehand where they disagree on a very key issue (Jacob), then Jacob died under mysterious circumstances right after this confrontation, and then Edward said a mean thing about Jacob and we were off to the races.

It's not going to be anyone's gut instinct or even in the line of things they'd consider.

But even for the Cullens who are more likely to do it than others, I just don't see it.

Alice

She'd do it if she saw that all other possible futures are worse. However, I don't think she'd ever see a 'worse' future. She would lose everything. Her way of life, her family, her diet, everything that makes Alice, Alice, and that she cherishes in this world would be lost.

I don't think for her there's a future worse than that.

Now, she could end up on an awful path where she feels forced into killing one at a time, believing that surely this one sacrifice will be the only thing required (as she only sees one decision ahead), but I imagine she'd surrender and realize the sunk fallacy cost sooner rather than later.

She might get through one or two but certainly not the entire family.

The closest Alice has come to this was when she sent Bella to Volterra to save Edward (nearly getting Bella killed/kidnapped if not herself and Edward as well) and Breaking Dawn where she and Jasper leave and conveniently find Nahuel but might be tempted into not showing back up had they not found him, and again, there she had Jasper at least.

But yes, if anything it'd be a sacrifice, and probably not by Alice's own hand so much as setting up circumstances such that it will occur when it needn't necessarily happen.

Bella

Yes! Under the right circumstances.

Carlisle

No.

Carlisle's not an extreme pacifist, he aided Rosalie's murder of her rapists, he was part of the party responsible for killing James, he went to war with the newborn army where they did murder all but Bree but time and again, we see he doesn't kill if he feels he doesn't have to.

More, this is his family.

If left no other choice/someone has gone completely mad and cannot be reasoned with, then he might act, but I can also just see him leaving.

And it certainly wouldn't be the entire family.

Edward

Surprisingly, no.

Edward is too attached to his family. He's capable of this kind of madness, to be sure, but so much of his identity is wrapped up in his family.

Even the ones he doesn't like, like Rosalie and Jasper, he considers an integral part of the family unit.

Without significant prompting he could not on his own set out to murder each of them. He might do away with Jasper, if he was driven to it, Rosalie as well could die, and maybe even Alice depending if he feels particularly betrayed by her, Carlisle if shit got very real and he believes it is a mercy, Bella too is not safe and Renesmee certainly isn't, but I just don't see him ever doing this to Esme.

Even if he thinks they've all been brainwashed by the Volturi I think he'd try to deprogram them before giving up on them and putting them out of their misery.

Emmett

No.

Look, Emmett's used to hanging around highstrung crazy people, he hangs out and says "treat yo self" and tries to wait for the crazy to blow over.

He tries to tell himself that it usually all works out.

Usually.

Esme

No.

The family is the heart of who Esme is, a part of her identity perhaps even more than it is for Edward. She loves them dearly and unconditionally, and there is very little any one of them could do that could earn her distaste and even then, I doubt she could ever truly hate them for it.

She would never consider killing a single member of the family for any reason.

Jasper

No.

The Cullens are pacifists and weak off the diet. More, if Alice leaves them, then they have little to no way of finding her. Alice is what Jasper cares about above all others and if threatened, he and Alice will simply leave.

We see this in canon, even, as when Jasper and Alice leave in Breaking Dawn they choose to leave rather than murder Renesmee and eliminate the immortal child/reason for the Volturi's coming.

Murdering Renesmee was an option, Jasper didn't take it.

Renesmee

No.

Granted, we know very little about Renesmee, but we do know she's much weaker than the others which automatically puts her at a disadvantage. More, if she does set out to get revenge, then at the end of the day she will have nothing for all that I believe some of her guardians fall on the side of 'oblivious' more than 'malicious'.

Far more likely that someone else (Bella) kills off all the family and Renesmee just stands there asking, "Porque?"

Rosalie

No.

She loves her family far too much and is too levelheaded. Some members, she may conclude do something beyond the pale in certain circumstances, but it will certainly not be all the Cullens.

[dreamboundedstar]

More Bob’s Burgers Headcanons For Tina and Zeke Because Why Not!

Tina: 1. Her full first name is Martina which makes her Martina Ruth Belcher. Linda thought the name Martina was a good idea at the time, until it wasn't. Now she is forever known as Tina except for her birth certificate and other legal documents.

2. Her eyes are blue (I don't care that Tina's eyes were brown in the Archer episode, I'm going with her blue eye color that was revealed in the Bob's Burgers story, "The Makeup".

3. Tina has a hard time with romance at her age because she loves the longing. Even when drama happens in her romance she secretly is okay with the negative outcomes because it fuels her limerence. That's why she struggled with asking Jimmy Jr. to be official with her in the movie. She was so afraid of him saying yes because then things would become real and she wouldn't have her limerance to fall back on anymore once the real Jimmy Jr killed fantasy Jimmy Jr for good. She fears having trouble finding romance in the mundane and never being satisfied because of all the fantasy hours she built up over the years. With Jimmy Jr finding her barrettecklace though, she realizes she's willing to try and move past her limerence because she learns that she can still find romance even in the smallest gestures. It may not be the Romeo and Juliet, star-crossed lovers drama she always wanted, but it was hers and she would be okay with that. 4. Another reason for her limerence is because she fears once things become real for her, they will be gone in an instant once the guy decides she wasn't enough. At least in her fantasy she can believe she will always be enough, the apple of her dream boy's eyes, and she will never have to worry about being tossed aside like trash.

5. After her break up with Jimmy Jr. around the end of high school, she vows to never put in as many fantasy hours for a boy as she did for him at least until she's sure she's safe to do so. She just can't handle that pain anymore. She still will be boy crazy, she just has a limit to how long she will fantasize about her crushes before she dates them now.

6. She has a box full of wedding plans/ideas for herself and her whole family, even Bob and Linda just in case they ever have the money to want to renew their vows with a fancier wedding. Gayle is also included as well. 7. As she gets older, she slowly starts dating more guys against her type of tall, skinny guys with long necks, perfectly shaped butts, and accents because she desperately doesn't want to end up like Gayle all because she had too high standards.

8. Tina's birthday is July 8th, 2008, I will accept nothing else. (Blame the Bob's Burger wiki for saying that it was her birthday! It's gone now but it was there! I refuse to let go that Tina, a character I kin has the same birthday as me! XD) 9. Tina is autistic but undiagnosed. That's not breaking new ground but that's my headcanon. 10. Tina grows up to be the smallest of the Belcher kids. She's slightly smaller than Linda while Gene is his mom's height while Louise is the tallest in between Bob's and Linda's height.

11. When Tina is 16 she will juggle working at her family restaurant, babysitting, and at a book store to afford college or whatever if she decides not to go to college. She has her hands full especially when she still has two more years of school.

Zeke: 1. Zeke's full name is Ezekiel Anthony Connor. 2. His birthday is March 11th, 2008 ( March 11th is the release date of "The Belchies", Zeke's first appearance. I couldn't use Bobby Tisdale's birthday because I couldn't find it so this was the next best thing). 3. Zeke's grandma's name is Daniella and his grandpa was named Anthony. 4. He was raised mostly by his grandparents until his grandpa died and his grandma couldn't take care of him anymore and had to be put in a home. 5. Curt from Bob's flashback in "Two for Tina" is Zeke's 44-year-old brother (assuming it's a half-brother) because I think it's funny and they share a voice actor. 6. Zeke's dad is a con artist that sells cheaply made crap of all kinds and that's why they moved around a lot. Zeke's dad would be good at what he does since it is revealed he owns a jacuzzi tub in "Tina and the Real Ghost". Though he could be bad at it and just squanders his money anyway instead of providing for his kid. 7. Zeke's mom was held back 4 times in school (if Harold from Hey Arnold can do it then so can she lol). She was 21 when she went to prom and was pregnant with Zeke. Still creepy as heck for a hypothetical 46-year-old to impregnate a 21 to 22-year-old, but not illegal. (I'm assuming Curt was born when Zeke's dad was 15 to be generous) 8. Zeke was an unwanted pregnancy. I can see Zeke's mom as a gold digger that was tricked into thinking Zeke's dad was more wealthy than he actually was. Zeke's mom wanted the easy way out because she was doing terribly in school and thought Zeke's dad could be her way in. She got pregnant by accident and neither of them was ready for it. Zeke's parents got married and tried to make it work but they just didn't work as a couple. Zeke's dad got more custody than Zeke's mom in the divorce because he seemed slightly more stable at the time.

9. Before Cheryl, not a day went by without Zeke's dad making Zeke feel like a screw-up. No matter how much he tries to help with his dad's business, it's never enough. 10. Zeke's relationship with his mom is not much better. She acts like she loves him but he can tell she's only doing what she thinks a mother is supposed to do and going through the motions. He can't help but feel that all she can see in him was her own mistakes. He still tries to see the best in both of his parents because he would go insane otherwise. 11. Zeke's grandparents were the few good role models in Zeke's home life. Cheryl, Zeke's stepmom later on would help get his dad's act together and Zeke will be forever grateful to her for that. She still has an issue with alcohol and is a shopaholic, but she is more present in Zeke's life than his bio mom is. 12. Zeke gets his love language from his grandparents. 13. Zeke has undiagnosed ADHD which explains his impulse control problem and why he gets bored very easily in "Tina and the Real Ghost".

14. Zeke grows up to be as tall as Bob but still shorter than Jimmy Jr. He's still stocky but his muscles balance out his stocky physique. He doesn't have a problem with being a big guy and is comfortable with himself. Just don't ask him why he's been putting more on his glutes lately because you won't get an answer. Definitely doing it for himself and not for anybody else yes siree bob. 15. At 16, Zeke would volunteers to help cover for Tina at Bob's Burgers during the times she's doing either at her book store job or babysitting job. 16. Zeke has green eyes.

Anyway, that's all. I tried to do more headcanons for them as characters rather shippy headcanons. Though a bit slipped through the cracks for both of them. Here's the height chart to compare the heights.

(Blue Bob is supposed to be Jimmy Sr Pesto's height but I guess like the show I'm trying to erase the character's existence on a subconscious level. XD)

Figures come from here. http://www.mrinitialman.com/OddsEnds/Sizes/compsizes.xhtml

When I think I'm done with the headcanons they just keep coming for some reason. Fingers crossed that I'm not too off base when it comes to Zeke's family. I'm basically placing my bets that his bio parents are terrible people and only his grandparents and Cheryl were good to him. I would hate to be eating crow later. XD

[xshatteredreflectionsx]

“I think I might be as old as you now. Maybe even older.”

Morgan’s “voice” echoed in Yvonne’s ears, giving her momentary pause as she continued to oversee the construction of the colony.  They were still too tired to Front, hovering groggily near the surface. “Not literally, ‘cause of timeloops and all that. But emotionally. Soulfully? One of those two.”

Yvonne hummed and flicked through another report that had been sent to her datapad. She had gotten quite accustomed to the technology of this era, if she did say so herself. At the very least she didn’t “peck at the screen like a granny”. An outsider looking in probably wouldn’t notice unless they really examined Yvonne’s body language; the way she squinted at the screen sometimes, or how her hand would hover awkwardly over buttons and touchpads while she tried to remember what did what. She walked on eggshells around the terminal on the ship, but could anyone blame her? In the wormhole, it ignited if someone looked at it wrong.  

“Maybe.” Yvonne replied after a moment. Neither of them knew how old Morgan had been when they died in the timelines where they lived on those parallel colonies; anywhere between fifty to ninty. In at least one timeline, they had been kept alive for centuries due to the machinations of a tyrannical lunatic.  Yvonne couldn’t help the icy sting of pity piercing her gut as the realization settled in.  One hundred and twenty-four years as of their last birthday had felt too long to her. But it was far too late for her to pass on. The tangled, gnarled mess she had made of her’s and Morgan’s souls when she had still been bitter and angry and half-mad had seen to that.  Her rest would probably not come until Actor -wherever he was skulking about- finally got tired of this façade.  “Why bring it up?”

“Cause I need to tell someone. If I told any of the crew: ‘hey, I’m actually old as fuck because of timey-whimey bullshit’, they’ll think I’ve gone crazy. I don’t know how much they remember, and honestly I hope they don’t remember everything.” Their voice lowered, heavy with remorse and lifetimes of grief. “It’s better for everyone if I’m the only one who does.” 

“You do not wear martyrdom well,” Yvonne said. She could almost feel Morgan recoil, retreating that much deeper into their inner world. “In any case, it is not as though you are the only one to blame. I know you are fond of him, but your Head Engineer made just as many mistakes as we did. Perhaps even more egregiously- and before you say it: No. I am not just saying that because he has more than a passing resemblance to the Mark I knew.” Yvonne let out a breath through her nose and ran a hand over her hair, attempting to coax a few loose curls back into place. It didn’t stay for very long, and fell back against her forehead as if to spite her. 

Morgan was silent for a long period of time- so long Yvonne speculated that they had fully withdrawn into their inner world, wrapping themself in the bliss of “slumber” like a blanket on a cold night.  Yvonne went back to work. If the Head Engineer noticed her being particularly curt with him, he did well to mask it (a flicker of remorse and guilt. A flash of genuine hurt before he swallowed it down and replaced with with a porcelain mask of professionalism. Yvonne knew her bias would never allow her to speak to him; that was for Morgan to do.) 

“You said ‘we’ earlier.” Morgan piped up after a few hours of silence. By this point the work day had been completed. Yvonne snapped the uniform jacket crisply on the clothes hanger.  

“I do not know. In time, mayhaps. When we can start learning how to forgive ourselves.” 

“...What do you think I did when I was Fronting? I made my fair share of bad decisions. Choices that antagonized your friends, made things harder for us and got people killed. I will carry that weight with me forever.” 

“Will it ever go away?”

Morgan was silent again, contemplative. Yvonne settled into bed, pushing aside two of the three overstuffed pillows. She turned to look outside the small window in Morgan’s quarters. This world two moons looking over it, sharing a space in the sky and glowing gently against an expanse of a thousand, thousand glittering stars. It was poetic in a way she could not quite put her finger on, but it felt significant somehow.  Ruminations for another day, mayhaps. 

[tobesolonely]

aura (II)

A/n: hi everyone! thank you for reading aura and enjoying it enough to ask for a part 2! i hope this lives up to what you guys want! Thanks so much <3 p.s. i am so sorry but I lost track of who asked to be on the taglist :-( So if u would like, please send me an ask and i will definitely add you next time i post about them!

summary: witch!y/n can see auras and harry is no longer blue. he’s pink!

my ko-fi! thank you :)

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Harry always found Y/N to be a bit strange since his first encounter with her, but he never thought she was the type who could kill house plants with just the flick of her finger.

“What just happened?” Harry loudly questions, moving as far away from her as he could get. “How did you do that? What’s going on?” His aura is red and muddy gray. Anxiety, nervousness, and fear.

“How did I do what?” Y/N asks. She wasn’t willing to give herself up so easily.

“You killed my Pothos! I saw you,” Harry points at her accusingly. “Saw ya flick your finger and then it died. Do y’know how hard it is for that thing to die? I forget to water it all the time and it was still doin’ great!”

“Really? It didn’t look too great when I got here -”

“That’s not true,” Harry interrupts her. “You’re tryin’ to make me feel crazy! I know what I saw.”

It’s silent. Neither Y/N nor Harry says anything for what has to be at least half a minute. Y/N doesn’t know if she should tell the truth or try to convince Harry he didn’t see what he thought he saw, and Harry is too frightened to move. Finally, Y/N breaks the silence.

“Harry, it was your bad energy that killed your plant. I was just redirecting it because I didn’t wanna be stuck with it again.” Y/N nervously tugs on the hem of her shirt.

“What do you mean?” Harry inquires, moving slightly closer to her once more. He was still frightened, but quite curious about how Y/N would explain the situation at hand.

Y/N didn’t know what to say. If there was one thing she knew, it was that her… capabilities were not really supposed to be shared with anyone. Of course, they weren’t! It was a hard concept to understand. It was assumed that people who didn’t have this ability would ostracize those who did— potentially even hurt them.

She knew in her heart that Harry wasn’t the type to ever harm her, but her mother always told her she could never be too careful. Y/N lived by those words, always replaying them in her head whenever she wanted to open up to anyone about all that she could do. Harry looks at Y/N expectantly, waiting for her to speak. She seems far away, lost in some thought that Harry didn’t want to break her from.

“Ever since I was little, I’ve always been a really empathetic person,” she starts. “It seemed like I always knew the right things to say to help someone feel better, and I could always cheer them up. My saying this isn’t to brag at all, it was just how it was.” Harry smiles at this but doesn’t say anything, waiting for her to continue.

“I realized something was different about me when my friend came to school one day really sad because her fish had died that morning,” Y/N inhales softly. “Of course I felt for her, you know? Like I said, I was a very empathetic person. When I went in to give her a hug though, I felt so weird immediately after! She was fine, though. It was like she didn’t even care anymore.”

“She just wasn’t sad about it anymore?”

“She missed her fish still, of course. She was just able to reflect on how happy having a pet fish made her and all the good times she had with him. I felt terrible, though. I literally had taken on her pain just from hugging her.”

As Harry takes in what she’s saying, it all starts to make sense to him.

The second time he met her, she was so adamant about knowing what was wrong with him. Harry thought he only felt better because he had talked to her about it instead of holding it in as he usually did (and that could’ve been part of the reason!), but she had also touched him.

It had happened so quickly, Harry didn’t even think anything of it. And why would he? It was nothing more than a gentle touch, gone as quickly as it was there. Now that he knew what he did, it all made sense.

“Can I ask you something, Y/N?”

“You can ask me anything, Harry.”

“How do you always know when I’m not feelin’ well? Jus’ by looking at me?”

“Well,” Y/N starts, a bit hesitant. “I can see it. Your aura.”

“My aura?”

“Your spiritual energy— it has colors.”

“What color am I right now?”

“Red and gray. You’re scared and nervous.” Y/N responds quickly. She’s right.

“How can you see it?”

“I’m not sure. I started becoming able to see auras once I learned I was able to take away people’s emotional pain…” Y/N trails off. “I know it’s odd.”

“Can you… show me?”

“You want me to show you? Show you what?”

“The thing you jus’ did.”

“It only works when you have bad energy.”

Harry raises an eyebrow at Y/N in confusion. “Thought you said I was scared and nervous?”

“Well,” Y/N hesitates. “Now you’re… uh, pink.”

“Pink?”

“You’re feeling love.”

Harry feels his cheeks flush as he quickly looks away, hating in that moment that Y/N could literally see what he was feeling. If that was really the case, how much longer would he be able to fight with himself about how he felt about her if even she knew his true feelings?  

He’s saved by the sound of his doorbell ringing, figuring it was his assistant dropping off lunch for him and Y/N. “Be right back.” He says quietly, getting up from the couch, still avoiding eye contact with Y/N.

Now it’s Y/N’s turn to be confused.

She was beginning to notice that Harry turned pink around her quite often— literally. Not only would his skin flush at her presence, but his aura would change too. Y/N decided to tell herself there was no way it could mean anything. Of course it meant nothing! She just met this man. His feelings (or lack of) for her meant nothing. Y/N was just glad Harry couldn’t read her aura in the same way she could read his.

If he could, he would see she was always pink, too.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Harry couldn’t stop thinking about Y/N.

She was magical. Literally.

After she had left that evening, Harry spent more time than he would like to admit researching auras and empathy. He learned there was a range of colors one's auras could be at any given time, and it was always subject to change. Harry figured that if he could see Y/N’s aura, it would always be shining gold.

Y/N didn’t explicitly tell Harry not to tell anyone about this, but he knew it was something he should keep to himself. He wanted her to trust him and know she was safe around him. Telling anyone what he assumed to be her biggest secret would do nothing but push her away from him— and that was the last thing Harry wanted.

He needed to hear her sweet voice again.

Harry didn’t want Y/N to think he was obsessed with her, but the cat was already out the bag. She could literally see that he had feelings for her. The way Harry saw things, this meant he could lean into his small crush on Y/N now rather than try and deny it. He just hoped she wouldn’t find him bothersome.

When she picks up his call after the third ring, Harry swears his heart just about beats out of his chest.

”Hi Harry. How are you?”

It takes him a moment to compose himself. “H- hi Y/N. Doin’ better, thanks for askin’... I was thinking of you.”

“Really?”

“Mhm,” Harry hums. “S’why I called. What are you up to today?”

“Nothing, really. Just at work.”

Oh. Work.

Y/N was so celestial, heavenly that Harry had forgotten she at her core a regular person who still had to work to pay their bills, just like everyone else. Just like him.

“I don’t mean to bother you while you’re busy. I’ll let you go.” Harry offers this as a courtesy, but he’s hoping Y/N will say he’s not a bother at all and she’s happy to talk to him.

“I think that would work out a bit better. I’ll talk to you as soon as I can. Bye, Harry!”

Harry is met with three short beeps that signify the call has ended.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about Harry.

He called her first! It made her heart flutter to know he was thinking of her. She’s glad he doesn’t know she was thinking about him as well.

It was nice to hear from him. Truth be told, Y/N was always worried about Harry. She worried that he wasn’t sleeping enough, eating enough, or telling people ‘yes’ when he should really be saying ‘no’. She worried he was unhappy. All she wanted was for him to be happy. Although Y/N couldn’t physically see him over the phone, she knew he was doing well today.

Y/N couldn’t say she wasn’t surprised to see Harry’s number flash across her phone. She thought that surely after telling him what she did he would want nothing to do with her. She was glad that he didn’t scare away easily, and that just made her feel even more warmth inside of her body. Y/N looked around the workroom filled with her other co-workers and she hoped there was no one else like her in the building lest they see how pink she was. She was absolutely smitten!

“Y/N, are you with us? What do you think?”

Y/N is broken out of her thoughts by her boss with the call of her name. In her Harry-haze she had completely zoned out, forgetting she was in the middle of an important work meeting.

“I’m very sorry. My mind was somewhere else for a moment,” she turns to face her boss, eyes wonder-filled.  “Would you mind repeating the question?” Y/N sees her boss briefly turn from red to pink and back to yellow before he repeats himself, clearing his throat.

Y/N smirks to herself. Men were too easy.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

“What’s got you so smiley?”

Harry jumps slightly, redirecting his attention to his manager. “Whatdya mean?”

“Been smiling and strumming your guitar for ten minutes straight,” Jeff narrows his eyes at Harry. “Are you thinking of that girl again?”

“Y/N,” Harry corrects him immediately. “What are you gonna do if I am?”

“Tell you to snap out of it, man. She’s got you this distracted already and she doesn’t even know you have a crush on her?”

Harry wants to tell him that she does even though he’s not explicitly stated it, but then that would lead to a conversation that wasn’t his to have. So he changes the subject—slightly.

“What do think about me inviting Y/N to the studio? You’ll finally be able to put a face to the name,” Harry adds once he sees the look his manager gives him every time he’s about to tell him no. “I trust her. I jus’ want her opinion on a few things. I know she won’t leak anything.”

“I’m not sure if that’s your greatest idea…” Jeff trails off giving Harry one of his infamous looks of doubt.

“I wouldn’t even be suggesting this if I didn’t trust her with everything in me. ‘Ve never suggested this any other time, have I?”

Jeff gives Harry a pointed look, although he can’t argue with that.

“Fine, invite her. She’s signing papers though…”

Jeff’s voice is nothing more than background noise as he dials Y/N’s number, which he embarrassingly already knows by heart.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

When Harry comes out of the large, wooden double-doors to meet Y/N, he’s glowing. He’s a flash of dazzling gold and pink, his aura not being able to just land on one. Y/N is flattered that he still turns pink when he sees her, and relieved to see him so happy. So relaxed.

“So glad you could make it,” Harry tells Y/N, pulling her in for a tight hug. “My manager had a fit when I told him you were comin’, he’s jus’ very protective of me and my music. Don’t take it personally.”

“I understand,” Y/N tells him honestly. “I don’t blame your manager for not being too keen on me crashing in on one of your sessions. I could leave my phone in the car if that would make you both feel better?”

Y/N made things so easy. She was perfect in Harry’s eyes.

“I trust you completely. It might make my manager feel a bit better though…” Harry trails off, feeling sheepish. Y/N nods and unlocks her car without saying anything, retrieving her phone from her purse and hiding it away in her glove compartment.

“There. Just me and my ears now.” She lets out the sweetest giggle Harry’s ever heard, and he swears he could melt.

“Follow me, then.”

Harry makes his way back inside the studio but feels weird with Y/N trailing so closely behind him, not speaking or physically touching him. He stops and turns to face her, reluctantly reaching his hand out for her to grab. She looks at him for a moment, analyzing his energy before shakily intertwining her finger with his. Harry glows pink—so much so that he was nearly shining red. Y/N was having a difficult time differentiating between the glow of his aura and the glow of his cheeks.

He continues walking down the hall, now feeling like he was on top of the world because he had the most beautiful girl in the universe’s hand in his. Harry was ready to get to work. She was his new biggest inspiration.

Y/N’s having the greatest time watching Harry’s colors. He’s so happy and full of love! The fact that Harry was in such good spirits possibly because of Y/N made her feel like she was floating on a cloud.

Harry feels Y/N’s hesitation to enter the room that now holds not only Jeff but Mitch as well. She pulls back slightly on his hand, hiding timidly behind his broad shoulders. “What’s wrong?” He asks quietly, turning to face her.

“I don’t think they’re happy to see me…” Y/N trails off.

“How do you know?” Harry asks habitually before he realizes who he’s talking to. He knows how she knows. He internally cringes at his question.

“They’re both red,” she shifts from foot to foot. “I can leave. I don’t want to cause any problems—”

“No!” Harry says a bit too loudly. Jeff and Mitch turn to look in their direction, finally aware of their presence. Harry blushes, speaking a bit more quietly. “Sorry. Jus’... don’t leave. I promise they’re not mad that you’re here. They’re just a bit nervous because you’re new and they’ve never met you before. I’ll tell ‘em you left your phone in the car though and it’ll all be good. Yeah?”

Y/N nods, not completely certain Harry could get these men to warm up to her just because he said so. He tilts her chin up so she’s looking in his eyes, and he gives her a warm smile.

“Hey… what color am I?”

Y/N swallows thickly before answering. “You’re yellow… and pink.”

“See? ‘M not red. It’s all good, darling. Believe me when I say that.”

Y/N’s heart beats faster at the pet name and she just hopes Harry can’t hear it. She gives him a forced smile before grabbing his hand again and following him inside of the small room.

“Jeff, Mitch,” Harry starts, swinging Y/N’s hand in his. “This is Y/N.”

“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Jeff says. Harry shoots him a look, silently pleading him to not say anything that’ll embarrass him. Luckily for Harry, Jeff catches onto this and keeps his introduction simple. “I’m Jeff, Harry’s manager.”

“Hi,” Y/N responds. Harry’s heart-strings feel like they’re being tugged at when he hears how quiet Y/N has become. “I left my phone in the car.” Jeff shoots Harry a surprised looked to which Harry gives a small nod in confirmation. Jeff hums, satisfied.

“We’re glad you could join us. I’m not sure if you have any experience in music, but it’ll be nice to get a fresh opinion on some things.”

Mitch gives Y/N a small nod and a smile, and Harry feels her grip on his hand tighten. “Don’t worry. Mitch is just shy.” Harry quietly reassures her. She loosens her grip on his hand slightly, feeling a bit more at ease.

“Where should I sit?”

“Y’can sit on that couch over there. Can I get you anything to drink? Have you ate, I can order food if you haven’t?”

Harry and Y/N are in their own world, only focused on each other. This doesn’t go unnoticed to Jeff or Mitch, and they share knowing looks behind the pair’s backs.

“What do you guys want to eat? Y/N hasn’t eaten yet,” Harry says, already searching for his text thread with his assistant. “Sushi? Mexican?”

“Whatever Y/N wants,” Mitch says, strumming a few random chords on his guitar. “Anything’s fine with me.”

Harry’s satisfied with this answer, just wanting to give all his attention back to Y/N. “Whatdya want to eat, love?”

“Do you all like veggie pizza?”

“Eh–”

Harry shoots Jeff a look that tells him not to disagree with her, so Jeff looks down and acts preoccupied with his phone. “That sounds really good, Y/N. I’ll order that.”

Harry actually hated veggie pizza. He hoped Y/N couldn’t tell.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

”I just miss your accent and your friends…”

Harry was blue and Y/N hated it.

She knew he was pulling from old memories for his songs, but she hated when he was upset. Y/N was in a trance, though. Harry’s voice was beautiful. His songs pulled her in like magic. They were captivating, and so, so beautiful.

Y/N was enjoying being in the recording studio. She never had any experience like it, and it was interesting to see all the hard work that went into making just one song.

”Don’t you call him “baby”, we’re not talking lately,” Harry sings into his microphone sadly, licking his lips during the pause. “Don’t you call him what you used to call me…”

Y/N just wanted to go into the recording booth and hug Harry, take his pain away. She knew now wasn’t the time nor place for that, though. She’d check on him later.

“That’s good,” Jeff says, giving Harry a thumbs up. Harry gives him one back and takes his clunky earphones off, setting them beside his feet.

“How was that?” Harry asks Y/N as soon as he’s out of the recording booth. The musician in him knew it wasn’t bad, but he still wanted her praise.

“Very beautiful! Are you okay?” She gives Harry one of those knowing looks he’s growing to love. He shrugs, leaning down to speak quietly to her.

“Singin’ about someone who used to be very special to me,” he says, glancing down at his Vans-clad feet. “I’m okay, though. Don’t worry about me.”

Y/N wanted to tell Harry she always worried about him. She wanted to scream it in his face so he understood how much she cared for his well-being. She does neither of the two. “Okay, Harry. I’m just checking.”

Harry loved that she was “just checking”. He wanted to tell Y/N that he never wanted her to stop caring for him, as he would never stop caring for her. He does neither of the two. “Thank you for checking, Y/N.”

Unbeknownst to them, they were both falling deeper for each other.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

“Y/N, are we gonna watch our movie tonight, or are you busy?” Y/N’s roommate, Amalia, peaks her head into her bedroom. Y/N was busy hanging upside down on her bed. Texting Harry.

“What? Oh, is it Friday? Let me just take off my makeup... “ Y/N locks her phone and slowly sits up, taking care not to smush her sleeping kitty who was currently snoring beside her.

“Who were you texting? You’ve been on your phone a lot more than usual lately,” Amalia notes, coming completely into Y/N’s room. “A boy?”

Y/N feels her body heat up at her roommate’s observation. “Maybe…”

“Y/N! You’ve gotta tell me! Who is he, is he cute?” Her roommate makes herself comfortable on Y/N’s bed, folding her legs beneath her. Sapphire startles slightly but quickly falls back asleep, curling her tail closer to her.

“You might know him,” Y/N begins. She and Harry never had a conversation about telling others about their association with others. She trusted her roommate, but she wasn’t sure if he would appreciate it. She decides she’ll just call him. “I’ll actually just call him. Hopefully, he’s not busy.”

Amalia finds it odd that Y/N would rather call this man than just tell her about him, but she says nothing, of course. She was used to her roommate’s behavior. She was different, and that’s why she loved her so much!

“Can you FaceTime him? I wanna see what he looks like,” Amalia claps her hands together out of excitement, feeling anticipation bubble in her stomach. She was hoping her roommate finally found someone for her so they could join her and her boyfriend on double dates and couples game nights.

“FaceTime him?” Y/N had never done that before. She and Harry always just spoke on the phone, and lately, they had gotten into texting. She hoped he wouldn’t mind. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Y/N pulls up the app on her phone and types in Harry’s contact name (which was ‘Harry’ with three pink hearts, which she would never tell him!) and bites her lip as she waits for him to answer. As an afterthought, she reaches for her earphones and connects them to her phone just in case her roommate recognizes his voice. After all, everyone on the planet knew who Harry was except for Y/N. He answers almost immediately, a dimpled smile on his face and a beautiful pink light surrounding him.

“Was jus’ thinking of you. Are we in sync? I swear I was about to call you,” Harry tells her, not being able to stop his toothy grin. “Is everything okay?”

“Well,” Y/N feels nervous. His gaze is still as intense and attentive, even though a phone screen. “I’m just hanging out with my roommate and she noticed I’ve been smiling at my phone a lot—”

“A very observant roommate.”

“Yeah, and she wanted to know if I was texting a boy. I didn’t know if it was okay to say anything but she’s beside me so do you want to say hi? It’s okay if you don’t want to, and I’m sorry if you’re busy right now…”

Harry’s gaze visibly softens. “Why wouldn’t it be okay?”

“You know why.”

Harry hums. “I’d love to meet your roommate. Go ahead and give her the phone.”

Y/N examines Harry for a moment, trying to determine if he’s telling the truth. His aura is slightly tinged red but it’s mainly yellow, making him glow the color of a sunset. He was probably a bit anxious, but he was happy. That was most important to Y/N. Amalia is sitting at the end of Y/N’s bed quietly, scratching Sapphire’s head while she waits. She watches as Y/N unplugs her earphones from her phone and wordlessly hands it to her.

Amalia’s mouth drops.

“Hi, it’s very nice to meet you. I’m Harry.”

Amalia’s entire body feels tingly.

“H- hi. Uh, I’m Amalia. Y/N’s roommate,” she looks up at Y/N, eyes wide. “It’s… wow. I’m sorry, I kinda don’t know what to say right now. I’m such a big fan of yours!”

Y/N hears Harry’s beautiful laugh and she smiles. It was his shy laugh. He was flattered. Maybe a bit flustered.

“That’s very, very nice of you. Thank you for the support.”

“Are you and Y/N dating? I can’t believe she didn’t tell me!” Amalia gives Y/N an accusatory scowl and she feels her body heat up at her roommate’s words.

“Not at the moment, but I’m working on it,” Harry tells her. Y/N doesn’t need to see him to know he’s pink. “I think she was jus’ tryin’ to protect my privacy. Which I appreciate, of course. But a friend of Y/N is a friend of mine! She has good judgment.”

Y/N can’t believe Harry’s “working on it”. He cares for her much more than she had initially thought, and Y/N just hopes he knows how much she cares for him as well. Even if she doesn’t say it.

“I’m gonna give the phone back to Y/N before I say something to embarrass myself, but it was really nice to meet you!” Amalia shakily hands the phone back to Y/N as Harry is telling her it was nice to meet her too.

Y/N is happy to see his face again. He immediately turns pink once he sees her again, a light blush tinging his cheeks. “She’s very nice. We should all go out to brunch one afternoon, how’s that sound?” Y/N nods, glancing at her roommate who currently looked like she was on the verge of fainting, bright pink just as Harry was. She was infatuated.

“Amalia’s amazing,” Y/N replies. “I was just calling to say hi, but I’m glad to see you’re doing good. I’ll talk to you later?” A deep indigo color slowly surrounds Harry at the prospect of Y/N ending the call, making Y/N frown. “I’ll see you tomorrow? Friday’s are our movie nights…”

“Oh!” Harry turns yellow again. “I didn’t mean to keep you from that. I’d like that, though. Lunch tomorrow?”

“And the studio?” Y/N asks, used to their routine. Harry shakes his head.

“Was thinking we do something else. Get out of there for the afternoon? ‘M sure you get bored jus’ watchin’ me sing all day. The last thing I want is for you to be bored.”

Y/N nearly laughed out loud. She was never bored when she was with Harry. She could simply sit and watch the grass grow with him, and she’d still be thoroughly entertained.

“I don’t want you to fall behind because of me.”

“S’my album. I can take a day off, darling. Hey–– can ya look at me?” Y/N knows Harry is asking her to examine what color he is. She nods after a moment.

“Okay, Harry. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow,” she takes a thoughtful pause as she usually does. “Have a good night.”

“I’ll be counting down the minutes. You too, Y/N.” The call disconnects. Y/N feels her heart about to beat out of her chest. Counting down the minutes.

She was counting down the minutes, too.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Harry was nervous to see Y/N. He hadn’t been alone with her since the day at his house when she came over to keep him company while he was sick. Their relationship was progressing quicker than anticipated, but neither of the two had any complaints.

Per Harry’s request (or, after a ton of his begging) Y/N agreed to let Harry pick her up instead of driving separately and meeting up like they usually do. He was excited to finally know where Y/N lived. When he thought of any space Y/N cultivated, he imagined it to be a bit cluttered. Lots of paintings on the walls. Perhaps some personal photographs of friends and family.

When Harry approaches Y/N’s apartment complex, he isn’t surprised to see that she lives in one of the oldest-looking buildings he’s ever seen. He was sure that when he asked her about it later, she would tell him that old buildings had the most character or something along those lines. Harry parks in record time, albeit like a bit of an asshole, and grabs the bouquet of flowers he picked up on his way to her before hurrying out of his car. His sunglasses immediately go on and his beanie gets pulled low over his forehead in the off chance there was someone who could recognize him anywhere nearby.

“Four, eight, two, five,” Harry mutters Y/N’s gate code under his breath as he approaches it. “Four, eight, two, five…” He’s delighted when it works. Against Y/N’s wishes, he didn’t write it down when she told him, adamant about having the best memory in the world. He was glad he didn’t forget it and have to call her and ask for it again.

Harry has no difficulty at all finding her apartment. Just as she said, there were several potted plants surrounding the door and a plaque that read, ‘Welcome to our home!’. He smiled to himself. It was just so Y/N. He firmly knocks and takes a step back, tightly gripping the bouquet in his hands. The door flies open moments later and Harry is met with Y/N’s beautiful face. His nerves immediately dissipate.

“Hi, Harry–– oh! Those are beautiful!” She opens the door a bit wider. “Please, come in!”

Harry’s happy. She seems happy. Of course, he couldn’t know for sure in the way that he could, but Harry was quickly learning her mannerisms.

“Hi, darlin’. S’nice to see you,” he leans down to place a delicate kiss on her cheek. “You’re lookin’ as beautiful as ever.”

“I haven’t even gotten changed yet,” she replies dismissively, shutting the door. “I completely lost track of time. I was helping Amalia get ready for a date that she’s going on and it made me forget all about ours.”

Harry could die a happy man right now. Y/N just referred to their spending time together as a date!

“No apologizing,” Harry says sternly, handing the flowers to Y/N. “‘M not upset about it, am I? We’ve got all the time in the world.”

Y/N looks down shyly at the shabby rug beneath her feet. “Do you wanna help me pick out an outfit? I’m not too sure about what I should wear… I really think it would help if you actually told me where we were going.”

“Nice try,” Harry chuckles, following her through the apartment. It looked just as he pictured it would. “Already told you it’s a surprise.”

“I thought I would try again.”

Y/N’s room was incredible. There were plants everywhere even more than the ones surrounding her front door. Some were even hanging from the ceiling! Her walls were a pale yellow color. She had glow-in-the-dark stars and planets stuck to her ceiling, a ginormous rug that covered probably half of her wooden floor, and paintings taped haphazardly to the wall. It looked like she made them herself, too. They were lovely.

“Your room is amazing,” Harry tells her, flopping onto her bed while she digs around in her closet. Even though he had never been there before, he immediately feels comfortable. At home. “Where’s Sapphire?”

“Oh, she’s around here somewhere,” Y/N’s voice sounds a bit muffled from being in her closet. “She might be hiding. She doesn’t like men.”

“Did you tell her that I’m nice?”

Y/N turns to look at him, two shirts in her hand. “I can’t force her to like you, Harry. What do you think about these shirts?”

“I think you would look good in all of them,” Harry feels his heart rate pick up under her gaze. “You may get cold if you wear something sleeveless, though.”

Y/N says nothing in response, just stares at him. To anyone else, her staring may be weird, but Harry knew what she was doing. He stares back at her just as intensely, raising an eyebrow. Finally, she nods, turning her attention back to her closet.

“Should I wear something with long sleeves?”

Harry hums in response to her question. “I think that would be a good idea.”

Y/N turns to face him again, tugging at her oversized sleep shirt. “Do you think you can take down some shirts on the shelf for me? I don’t feel like going to get a chair all the way from the kitchen…”

“Of course I can,” Harry immediately gets up from his lying position on Y/N’s bed. “Which ones?”

“The ones in that corner,” Y/N replies, standing beside Harry. He never noticed how much shorter she was than him until she was asking him to reach things off the top-shelf for her. Harry loved it.

He reaches up with ease, grabbing a stack of neatly folded long-sleeves. In the process of pulling them down, a box comes falling off the shelf, hitting the floor with a loud clang! and the sound of broken glass. “Shit,” Harry mutters, bending down to reach for the box. “Sorry about tha’, pet–”

“Don’t touch that!” Y/N exclaims, pushing past Harry to grab the box before he does. Harry backs up, putting his hands up in the air like he was a criminal who’d just been caught.

“I didn’t touch it, I promise,” Harry quickly reassures her. “Why can’t I touch it? What is that?”

“Remember how I was telling you about bad energy?” Her voice drops to a whisper. Harry nods. “This is where I store everyone's bad energy whenever I get stuck with it. They’re in little viles, you know what I mean? Those little tubes?”

“Yeah.”

“I think the tubes broke when it fell… I can never open this box again because then the bad energy will get out and go back to their owner's body.”

Harry doesn’t say anything, trying to take in what Y/N just told him. It wasn’t the oddest thing he’s heard since he met her. “Is any of my bad energy in there?”

“Yes. Remember when we were at the Greek food place?”

Harry smiles at the memory. “How could I forget? I think that was the day that I knew I had to get to know ya. I was properly obsessed with the idea of runnin’ into you again for days.” Y/N looks away as she usually does when he gets her flustered but this time Harry moves closer to her, snaking his arms around her waist.

“Thank you for always makin’ sure ‘m happy, love,” Harry’s lips are dangerously close to hers, so close that she can smell the scent of mint on his breath. “You don’t even have to touch me to make me happy. Jus’ bein’ near you is enough.” Y/N lets out a shaky breath, not trusting her voice enough to do anything other than nod. Both of their hearts are about to beat out of their chests.

“I’d do anything to make you happy, Harry,” Y/N finally says, staring directly into his eyes. “You deserve all the happiness this life has to offer you.”

“Likewise,” Harry says, feeling intoxicated from standing so close to her. “Y/N, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Can I kiss you?”

Y/N gives Harry the biggest smile before standing on her tiptoes, smushing her lips against Harry’s. His eyes shut as he melts into the kiss, having to remind himself to stop smiling so he can properly kiss her back. Her lips are soft, and she tastes just as sweet as she actually is. His entire body tingles and his chest burns due to lack of oxygen, but he was determined not to break the kiss first. His stomach twisted from all the butterflies he had, but it was a feeling no one had made him feel in a long, long time.

Y/N’s the first one to break the kiss. She giggles as she rests her head against Harry’s chest, gasping slightly for air. “You’re a very good kisser.”

“You too.” Harry’s breathless. He doesn’t want to pull away from her so he settles on intaking short bursts of air.

“I’m gonna get changed before I decide to stand here and just kiss you all day,” Y/N tells him, finally breaking their contact. “Can you wait in the living room?”

“I wouldn’t hate that,” Harry says as he places a quick peck on her lips. “‘M gonna go put your flowers in something so they don’t die. Y’think Sapphire will come out of hiding and let me pet her since her mommy finally let me kiss her?”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

“I thought we were getting lunch?”

Y/N had been sat in Harry’s passenger seat for slightly over an hour now, his hand hardly leaving hers the entire time. He was yellow for the most part (except when Y/N would speak he turned pink). Song after song played lowly over the stereo, but it was mainly just background noise–– neither one of them was really listening to it.

“We are.”

“Why are we driving so far?” 

“I wanna take you to a really nice spot. Is that okay?”

“Are we almost there?” She stares intensely at Harry and she knows he can feel her eyes on him. He flashes red for a moment causing Y/N to cock her head in confusion. “Why are you nervous?”

“I don’t want you to think our date is boring.”

“Why would I think it’s boring?”

“Have you ever been to Balboa Park? San Diego?” Harry tears his eyes from the road briefly to look at her and he’s relieved to see a look of excitement in her eyes.

“I’ve never been but from the pictures I’ve seen it looks sooo beautiful! Are we going there?” Her grip on his hand tightens slightly.

“Mhm,” Y/N sees Harry visibly relax. “Figure we could grab a bite after? Or before, depending on how hungry you are.”

“We should eat before! Are we allowed to eat in the park? We should have a picnic–– can we do that?” Y/N is talking a mile a minute, too excited to slow down. She turns in the passenger seat to face Harry fully, hand still in his. “We’re going to the gardens, right?” 

“We’re doin’ whatever you want, love. I have some things planned that I think you would like but nothing’s set in stone.”

Y/N loves the fact that Harry took it upon himself to plan out their day. She decides she would go along with whatever he had planned, seeing as he’s been there before and she hasn’t.

They arrive at the park approximately thirty minutes later and Y/N quickly unbuckles her seatbelt and lets herself out of the car before Harry can open the door for her himself. He laughs to himself at her excitement.

“Where are we going first?” Y/N reaches for Harry’s hand seemingly out of habit, not thinking twice before doing so. If she wasn’t busy looking around in awe, she’d see Harry looking down at their interlocked fingers with a big smile on his face.

“How ‘bout we get you something to eat first then go find a spot to have a lil’ picnic? The last time I was here I remember seein’ people eating under this ginormous tree–”

“Okay!” Y/N agrees cheerily, dragging Harry through the parking lot. She was leading the way even though she had no clue where she was going. “Wait, where are we going?”

“How about I lead the way?” Harry is a mixture of green and yellow. He was happy and enjoying the prospect of a nature-filled day.

“Harry, what’s your favorite part about nature?”

“What’s tha’?”

“I see that you like nature, so I just wanted to know what you liked the most about it,” Y/N replies, swinging their hands. 

“It’s calming. I think ‘ve written some of my best songs surrounded by trees and water and things like that. What do you like the most about nature?”

“It’s beautiful. Plants help us and we help them.”

Harry smiles in response to her answer but says nothing, walking her the rest of the way through the parking lot and to the entrance of the park. Once inside they set out on finding something to quickly fill their stomachs with, not wanting to waste too much time eating.

“How do sandwiches sound?” Harry asks, nodding his head in the direction of a sandwich shop. “Quick and easy, isn’t it?”

“Can we still eat them under the fig tree?”

“Whatever you’d like, darling. S’your world, ‘m just livin’ in it.” 

Even though he lets out a chuckle after saying that, Y/N knew he was being completely serious.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Harry could listen to Y/N talk all day. He never wanted to stop hearing her sweet voice. Y/N’s attention was fixated on the beautiful, blooming gardens–– but Harry was only fixated on her.

She pointed out nearly everything they saw, impressing Harry with her knowledge on plant names and pointless information on how to care for them. She asked Harry to stand in front of all her favorite plants so she could take a picture of him to “commemorate the day” and Harry was more than willing to do so. Anything to keep a smile on her face. Y/N had grown tired of carrying her purse over her shoulder about an hour back and Harry even offered to wear it for her so she wouldn’t have a sore shoulder the next morning.

They decided to call it quits once the sun started setting, walking hand in hand quietly back to Harry’s car. He opens the door for her and checks to make sure she’s all the way in before slamming it shut and walking around to his side. He immediately reaches for her hand again, loving the way it felt in his way too much to not hold it at all times.

“Did you have a good time today?” Harry asks, looking at Y/N’s face in the dim light. She nods sheepishly, looking down at the hands.

“I had an amazing time. I can’t believe you drove all the way out here just for me,” she traces her fingers over one of Harry’s rings. “Thank you for today.”

“How many times have I gotta tell ya I’d do anything for you?” Harry questions, leaning over the center console to be closer to her. “Loved seein’ that beautiful smile on your face today. Made me happy.”

“You’re just saying that…”

“Oh, come off it,” Harry jokes, kissing her cheek before leaning back over to start his car. “Know you saw how happy I was the whole day. S’all because of you.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Harry sees Y/N lean over as he previously was so her face is close to his. She gently places the hand that was holding Harry’s on his face and turns his head so he’s fully facing her, licking her lips before she connects them with his. Harry melts into the kiss as he did earlier, feeling as if time stopped when their lips were pressed together. It was the most gentle, loving kiss Harry ever shared with another person.

He could get used to this.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

please let me know what you thought!

[justalads]

c!niki and c!wilbur enjoyers. pspspspspspsps

alright guys so last night i rewatched pretty much all of the pogtopia arc. and this isn’t meant to be a big, important analysis post (it’s kind of incomprehensible), because my brain is fried from, you know. rewatching pretty much all of pogtopia. but i do have some stuff i’d like to say.

(this also just became a niki meta sorry i love her. i really just got emo about her during the second half of this and it got long. i have a lot of feelings about her and wilbur’s friendship.)

it’s a pretty general conclusion that wilbur’s real “downfall” began on october 8th, during the stream “who are you go away”. of course, his spiral and the process of him losing faith had begun much earlier, more around the end of the first war or during the election. but the big switch, so to say, was definitely here, when as wilbur walks back from schlatt’s announcement, he asks tommy if they’re the bad guys.

this entire scene was so interesting to me. wilbur here is a man who has lost hope, someone who is backed into a corner morally and has nothing left. he points out that they can never really reclaim l’manburg without forever tainting it, and that schlatt knows this. the entire half an hour or so before, schlatt has been taunting wilbur about losing that power. the emphasis of the festival on “democracy” is so clearly a barb thrown at wilbur, and it works.

wilbur’s “nothing left to lose” in this vod is a mirror to niki’s “you know what they say about a woman who has nothing left to lose”. this will not be the first time they mirror each other.

basically, wilbur’s angry. when schlatt announced the festival, wilbur realized that maybe it wasn’t a terrible thing. so once he worked around into the mindset of “we’re the bad guys”, he was able to justify saying he was going to blow up the nation with no remorse. he wants chaos! he wants no survivors!

does he do it? god no.

during the streams leading up to november 16th, wilbur is consistently scared. he goes back and forth on it, and makes multiple “conditions” that determine whether he’s going to do it or not, almost begging someone to stop him. he whispers to himself that he’s scared, that his hands are shaking, that he’s not sure if it’s the right thing to do. because despite what he says about “not caring about any of them”, the instant niki is threatened after tubbo’s death, wilbur walks up to schlatt and tells him that if he’s going to kill anyone it should be him. later, when quackity and tommy talk him down from pressing the button, he can’t press it because they’re there and he can’t bring himself to kill them as well.

but he has no problems with putting his own life at risk. he refuses to wear armor half the time, and actively places himself in harm’s way to save others. he still cares about everyone else, as much as he says he doesn’t. even when he does cause harm to others, during november 16th, he immediately begs phil to kill him. “look, they all want you to.” he can’t live with what he’s done, and how he’s hurt people, but he couldn’t allow manburg to continue.

the man is terrified and angry and he can’t win. and even as he tries to stuff himself into the mind of someone who doesn’t care, he cannot. when he finally does, he cannot live with being that person.

but the reason i rewatched this arc was to see niki’s point of view, especially after her statements during her last stream. i genuinely think that wilbur’s only betrayal of her was pressing the button, because he betrayed everyone. they might have known he was going to do it, but they had faith he wouldn’t.

wilbur cared a lot about niki. her life under schlatt was awful, wilbur hated that she was suffering, and the scene where wilbur plants himself directly in the center of the festival and tells schlatt to kill him instead hits pretty hard. he has the argument with schlatt, and then turns to niki and tells her to run. he then hits people and sprints away, trying to give her time to escape.

this is also when he asks her to join pogtopia, because now that schlatt has said he’d kill her, it’s a safer place for her.

so the man did care about her. niki is angry at the memory of him that she has. it’s been twisted by time and her own grief and paranoia.

in rewatching pogtopia, i realized that a lot of people hate the memory of wilbur. not him, and what he did. they think he didn’t care. and to quote hamilton (apologies):

“history obliteratesit paints me in all my mistakes”

does niki have a right to be mad at him? absolutely. he caused direct harm to her by blowing up l’manburg, once it was reclaimed. but she’s wrong that he never cared.

(an interesting note: wilbur only blows it up after techno starts fighting people outside. he hears it, and says “look, they’re fighting”. he didn’t re-initiate the conflict of the country. the fact that even after peace was won people were fighting just gave evidence to his belief that the entire country was corrupted.)

niki has been hurt a lot, and wilbur has things to answer for. but we as the audience know that her statements are just her perception. she is a character who acts on perceptions. the entire stream was in black and white. during doomsday, upon seeing wilbur log on (as ghostbur), niki has a panic attack and destroys her bakery, trying to rid herself of the pain of the memories. her lines during this stream are chilling, whispered repetitions that are a mirror of wilbur’s end.

(paraphrased, it was long and confusing but there are a few bits and this was the essence of it)

“wilbur is gone. this isn’t happening. he is dead. l’manburg is gone.”“it is real, i am real, he is real and he is dead.”“l’manburg is gone, i am real, i am l’manburg”.

(god. dude i could spend Months analyzing this one stream alone. there’s so much here.)

doesn’t that sound a bit like “my unfinished symphony”? wilbur and niki both attach their own self to the nation they fought for, and can see it as an extension of themself. they both destroy parts of it in acts of fear, attempting to save everyone else from what they’ve made.

what i pulled away from niki’s stream is that she’s not healing. i remember the chamber she locks herself in at night. i remember her refusal to eat. i remember how she was so angry at tommy, and she later realized that anger was misguided. niki genuinely believes that wilbur did not care about her, and that’s not surprising: when he died, she denied the fact that he was gone. she represses the things that she can’t handle, same as lots of other people. it is easier for her to pin her hurt on wilbur, because she needs somewhere to pin it. people feel more in control if they’re angry, not sad.

the song cc!niki said was for her character really emphasizes this. it’s a coping mechanism.

but even condemning wilbur won’t help, because she will still never get closure. niki cares about what others think of her, and so she can’t move on from someone hurting her. she can’t move on because she thinks he hated her. she is angry that he is back, but it is an opportunity for her to heal. she couldn’t heal when he was gone. she’s not the only one with a negative perception of wilbur, after all. he has one too. the two of them really need to talk.

i want niki to be healthy and safe. i want to see her heal so badly, and i do think it will happen. after wilbur died, his betrayal of her stayed with her, and it eventually became her memory of the betrayal that she hated, not the thing itself. it’s been months since it happened. niki wants to find an outlet for her hurt, because she wants to feel better. there’s a pattern i noticed: she only gets mad at people once she hasn’t seen the person themself for a while. and once she sees them and talks to them, and realizes that they care about her and don’t want to hurt her, she stops blaming them for it. she only hates her perception of them. example one? tommy.

man was in exile for a long time, and when he came back he “brought” fighting. that’s how niki saw it. but the fact that after she spent time with tommy (trying to kill him but. details, details) she forgave him because she saw it wasn’t his fault is a really good sign.

i genuinely think that speaking to wilbur will help niki, and it will also help wilbur. after all, they both hate wilbur. the entire perception of wilbur as some heartless, crazy manipulator needs to be shattered for both of their sakes. they both buy into it.

i want niki to know that others care about her, and that she has places she can feel safe. she hates that wilbur is invading the syndicate, because she’s scared of his memory hurting her. i don’t think wilbur will hurt her on purpose, because even though he sees himself as awful, he doesn’t hate her. he never did. usually, with people who have hurt someone else, i want them as far away from the person they hurt as possible. if wilbur does hurt niki i’ll probably cry. but again, it’s not him that hated her, or really him that hurt her in the way she thinks he did. when wilbur was dead, niki didn’t get any better. her memory of him festered and made her feel worse. that’s also why niki killing wilbur or hurting him somehow wouldn’t help her heal. i want wilbur to explain that he didn’t hate her. is wilbur even close to self aware enough to help niki? nah. this is going to take a Long time, and it’s going to hurt.

last thing i swear lol

during niki’s stream, she says that wilbur manipulated her. again, i watched pogtopia last night, and i’ve watched the rest of season one recently as well. i genuinely don’t see it. but i do think i know why she said it.

during season one, wilbur doesn’t manipulate niki. he doesn’t have a chance to later, he’s dead. so then, what is she talking about? of course it’s a perception, same as a lot of her other claims. i think she’s talking about how she cared for l’manburg.

niki joined the server as wilbur’s friend, to join his nation. she grew to care for l’manburg. she devoted herself to it, same as he did. but doomsday showed us that she hates that. in niki’s eyes, l’manburg only brought pain for people, and because she ties herself to it, she hates that she ever cared about it. she can’t allow herself to care for it, because it was used to hurt. so how does she cope with knowing that she once did? she pretends she didn’t.

if she can convince herself that it was wilbur who convinced her to care about l’manburg, she can avoid blaming herself for her own pain. and yeah, she shouldn’t blame herself for it. it’s not her fault. the entire situation is tragic and a little hopeless and once again really makes me hope that she recovers. l’manburg was ruined for her by others. schlatt, techno, dream, wilbur. again another place where she and wilbur are similar: they convince themselves they never cared about l’manburg because of the hurt it caused.

to summarize: wilbur’s going to get a shock soon. don’t know when, but probably the prison visit. something is going to shake his perception, the story is hurtling towards that. once he is able to take responsibility for what he did, and feel safe (because a lot of what he does now is out of fear of being alone or useless), then he and niki need to talk. niki needs something to get her out of her own head. she’s spiraling too. they are essential to each other’s recovery because of how much they meant (and mean) to each other.

anyways i miss early season one niki i liked it when she was happy :(

~ Lad 2

[hargrove-mayfields]

Everyone likes to pretend Billy was never even there. Life goes on, people change, the past gets forgotten.

A year isn’t enough time for Max though. Right now it feels like the rest of her life wouldn’t be enough time, but Neil and Susan, they were doing just fine.

It’s almost like they like not having him around, that extra burden they couldn’t shake. The plan only Max knew was that Billy was going to stay at home until she was old enough to go with him so she’d be safe.

She knew he was fed up and looking at some local apartments within walking distance of Cherry Lane anyways, but then July happened, and Billy died.

Now it’s July again, and her hair is in twin braids of red with pure white ribbons on the end, and her and her mother are wearing matching blouses. There’s bruises under the bangle on her mothers wrist and one under Max’s own sleeve, and she just wants her brother back.

It’s a holiday they told her, her father (he’s not her fucking father, they never made her call him that when Billy was around) is a veteran, they have to celebrate. Better just dry her eyes and get over it.

Her mother invites all the family they have in the area over to their house for a little get together picnic, and they do their little happy family routine for a while, but Max can only handle so much of it.

Billy should be here by her side, flicking watermelon seeds at her face and putting ice cubes from the cooler down the back of her shirt, being an asshole to distract her from the reality of her family.

And that was that she didn’t really have one, a family. It was always just her and Billy.

Even at these events made for bonding with family, they were off to the side, messing around while the adults talked like they weren’t even there, and she knew she was a little naive then, but it stung more than ever, knowing that even after she’d lost her brother, nobody even stopped to say hi or check up on her, it was just straight into gossiping about the neighbors and those disrespectful bastards across the street who weren’t flying a flag for the holiday and family members who couldn’t be there.

But Max never heard Billy’s name come up even once, and not even in a respect to the dead boy and his grieving sister type of way, but rather, in the way that they just didn’t want to acknowledge his existence. None of these people had come to his graduation in May of last year, or his funeral two months later.

Billy was a taboo that the Hargrove-Mayfields didn’t dare taint their celebrations of freedom and justice with. The irony made Max sick to her stomach.

Or that was at least, until Neil couldn’t help himself.

His words are slurring already, with an excuse to party he’s on what Max would guess to be his fifth or sixth beer that afternoon, and someone just made the mistake of mentioning their own son, Billy and Max’s third cousin or something, and it spurs Neil off on a tangent about his.

“That boy was always good for nothing anyways. It’s almost the same now that he’s dead, ‘Cept maybe now I get some more quiet around the house.”

Nobody knows what to do when he says that, there’s a couple awkward laughs and one shocked gasp, that one was probably from her mother, but Max knows exactly what she wants to do.

What she wants is to watch Neil choking on his blood instead of her brother, his body being lowered into the ground instead of Billy’s, and in the moment she feels like she could be the one to make that a reality, but instead she just stands abruptly, a plate of the food her mother worked so hard to prepare for them she’d been too queasy to eat falling off her knees to the grass, and she says everything she’d bottled up for the past year.

“Don’t talk about Billy that way!

“Now, Maxine-“ Neil starts, but Max is livid, can’t hold back all the things she wished she had said before Billy died, when she got grounded after the funeral, when Neil started beating her, “No! I’m not going to let you do to me what you did to my brother! You don’t get to control me like you did him, it’s your fault that he’s dead!”

It’s her mother’s turn to try to stop her, slender hand covering her mouth painted red, “Maxine..”

“Stop trying to reason with me! I’m sick of pretending to be a family when I had to watch my own brother die! And I’m sick of being treated like I’m crazy for being the only one that cares about Billy!”

More than one person chimes in on that one, offended by the notion they don’t care about family, though it’s Neil that insists, in that faux calm, close to snapping voice of his, “We do care, Maxine. We’re all grieving in our own ways.”

She fires back, “Grieving what? The loss of your punching bag? You hated Billy! You don’t care that he’s dead, all that matters to you is having someone to hurt, and you no trouble adjusting to beating up on your wife and step-daughter instead!”

She catches a backhand to the face for that, and all the background chatter comes to a halt, Neil gritting out through his teeth, “Inside. Now.”

There are tears in her eyes that sting almost as much as the knuckle marks on her cheek, but Max feels like she won, getting her step dad all riled up in front of their family, she feels almost invincible, and she sneers all smug like and bitter, “I can’t go inside yet. I’m celebrating your service to our country, dad. You know, as a family.”

But when Neil's face turns as red as the blood that dripped from his wife’s nose the night before and he stands from his chair and drags her inside by the wrist himself, she realizes that it wasn’t exactly a win.

And when her brain goes numb trying to focus on both the repeated slaps and punches that explode like firecrackers across her skin and the way Neil is yelling and lecturing her until his voice is raw, giving her the same lessons her brother had burned into the back of his mind, she feels like she’s lost everything instead.

When she has to choke back her tears and apologize for embarrassing Neil and for making him hit her as punishment, she realizes, this isn’t a game that can be won or lost at all.

Max isn’t allowed to go back outside to the party. That rule goes unspoken, but words aren't necessary with the way Neil storms off without another word, slamming the back door behind himself. She’s slowly starting to figure out what the things her step father does instead of says mean.

She misses being allowed to be clueless, having someone to protect her or take what punishment she had earned. She wishes she wouldn’t have asked so much of Billy though.

Her own room isn’t safe anymore, what once had been the place she’d be ushered off to when Neil got bad had become more like a trap, the place Neil went to first when he was angry. Everything that had been hers felt wrong, so she goes to Billy’s room and doesn’t come out for the rest of the night. Even now that he’s gone, he still kept her safe.

There’s a welt on her face and fresh bruises forming everywhere, hot tears wetting her sunburnt cheeks and the pillows that smell like Billy, or at least used to before Susan decided his room needed cleaned and washed away every trace of her brother.

All night long there are fireworks going off, a big show put on by the city downtown has her shaking, unable to close her eyes for fear those distant explosions would take her back to the mall, bring back memories she’d never forget, and covering her ear with her hands.

The cracks and booms that shake her windows and her entire life, a headache and a heart break even stronger.

She tries her hardest not to think about Starcourt though, so instead she thinks about how Billy would’ve been proud of her for standing up to Neil. He would’ve called her an idiot, but he would’ve cleaned up her scrapes and held her through the panic attack after, and he probably would’ve liked to see the person Max was becoming too.

That makes Max’s heart hurt, the fact that he won’t get to. She cries harder, and she feels so alone without Billy.

Some part of her knows that she isn’t though. She isn’t the only one that lost somebody last July.

Hawkins’ cemetery was alive with flowers and wreaths and decoration, and more than anything the grieving. All of the victims had families, or in the case of the Holloway’s where their whole family was killed, they had friends and neighbors in the tight knit community who remembered them. El was still grieving Hopper, and Max knew Billy had people like that too.

Billy was popular, his death had a huge impact on the younger population of the town, but not only that, he had his closest friends, Steve and Tommy and Carol and Nicole and Adam from the pool, and of course Heather couldn’t be there, but those people were all keeping her brother alive.

As much as it felt like everyone was trying to forget him, they weren’t, and that brought Max a little bit of hope.

Hope that Billy would be remembered for the things he did right, and who he was behind the boy he had to be to keep them safe.

Hope that with his memory kept in the hearts of so many, the burden of grief wouldn’t fall solely on Max forever and make things a little easier.

Hope that the wound would someday heal, and she could look back on the time she did have with Billy, those seven too short years, with a smile on her face.

For now, she wraps herself in Billy’s jacket and comforter, listening to his music to drown out the distant fireworks, and dreams of the day when things won’t be like this, when she can leave Hawkins and all it’s bad memories and the “family” holding her back to live a life her brother would be proud of, a life that would honor his.

Max decides then with determination, flinching when a bright flash lights up her window, a loud echo through the quaint neighborhood, that she was going to do what Billy hadn’t been able to and break the cycle.

Tomorrow, she’d tell the school counselor she’d been assigned when her depression was at its worst all about Neil Hargrove.

[frightguard-watch]

When the Pizza Sim Arc comes, will the story give some time to the thought process of the other characters? ( ScrapTrap, ScrapBaby, Lefty/Marionette/Charlie ) Or will it excessively stick to Micheal and Maddie?

I ask because I am curious about the thought process of the animatronics that are left, more specifically ScrapBaby/Elizabeth. ScrapTrap, eh we all know what’s going on in his crazy head “find those kids, kill them, then move on”, Charlie, protect as always but while inside Lefty? Who knows. Molten Freddy, hard to say since he’s always been a character I never necessarily got. Elizabeth though, I feel like she has the most potential to show just how far she’s strayed away from being a little girl who wanted ice cream. Cause when you think about it, she no longer considers herself Elizabeth, just Circus/Scrap Baby.

In SL she kills her own brother and uses him as a skin suit and was possibly behind the death of the two technicians. In Pizza Sim tho, it shows just how much her years inside Baby have really taken the toll on her. Think about it, when she was voted out of the Ennard tribe and forced to make a new body for herself out of trash, she opted to make one that looked identical to Baby instead of designing a body that, at least, looked semi like her old human self. During her monologue before Henry cut off she gave the line “Now we can do what we were created to do”, the word created is what got to me. She no longer considers herself human or Elizabeth, she’s gone so far off that she’s either completely rejected and/or forgot her humanity. She, at that point, just fully accepted herself to be this killing machine with a hunger for blood and never to have been human. Even Henry could see just how insane she had become due to his lines “I’m sorry to interrupt you Elizabeth, if you still even remember that name” and “Your lust for blood has driven you in endless circles”

Sorry for going on the ramble, I just wanted to point it out because I am pretty excited for Pizza Sim to come and what it will hold but if the story does just stick to Micheal and Maddie then I’m okay with that too

I'll explain remnant in that arc with Henry, and with that has a tragic plot point: Your consciousness is mixed in with the robot's programming, and possession of the metal,, if you're in contact with the robot in question when you die. And as time goes on- The robotic programming consumes you and you forget more and more of your previous life. The only clear moments in your memory tend to be important emotional moments, and how you died.

There's gonna be some humanizing (lol) moments with all the animatronics, since Michael is the one interviewing them.

Lefty will have a subplot of him (her? Them? It?) finding Puppet’s scattered remains. Possibly a prologue of everything Puppet/Charlie has been through in the last forty years. And her having issues remembering her father.

Michael will have a moment to try and reach out to Elizabeth before being attacked and needing to taze her. Even then, Michael wants to save her, regardless of how much it's hurt him to try.

And this is an idea from a few... Years ago, oh my God, that Baby grabs onto Scraptrap as her legs broke off, and he kicks her aside and runs off. Puppet Charlie and Henry come over to comfort her in her last moments in the fire.

Molten Freddy will be a more friendly character, that sometimes can't control their attacks. They'll apologize for what they did to Michael, after realizing it wasn't William they were in.

Scraptrap- I'm not sure what I'll do with him yet tbh. I do want to have him and Michael to interact more, and him and Henry. Maybe some information about remnants from him. But outside of that, I think he won't have much.

[iloveitwhen]

You want angst i have arrived!!!

Please can Adrian find a lost child turms out the child belongs Damien and mari extra salt if the child looks more like mari

So like Adrien doesn't find Marinette's lost child.... I totally forgot about that part of the ask....😭😭 Sorryyyyyy, i hope you still like it!

10 years ago

“I’m fine,” he snaps, “stop dotting on me, what are you, my mother?” He turns and storms away instantly regretting his words but not as strongly as he was annoyed by hers. 

“I don’t understand,” Marinette says so softly that Adrien slows to a stop. “Why are you acting like this?” Marinette walks around to face him, trying to catch his eye. “I mean I thought we were happy, I thought you were happy?”

Adrien can’t look her in the eye, he can’t tell her he only started dating her to get over Ladybug, which had been failing miserably for months. At first he was happy, well she mostly just made him feel not so alone and that was everything he could have asked for, until he realized that that wasn’t enough, it wasn’t love, only comfort. Isn’t love supposed to hit you like a ton of bricks? Isn’t it supposed to take your breath away? Make you feel an abundance of emotions like nothing else ever could? Ladybug took his breath away, made him feel things, and Marinette? She was just a placeholder, he was trying to shove her in the hole that Ladybug had left in his heart, but she didn’t fit. 

“Look at me.” Marinette doesn’t sound angry, just sad, defeated. 

“I don’t think this is going to work,” he blurts, finally looking into Marinette’s eyes just in time to see her breath catch, her hand to fly to her mouth in shock, and her eyes water. Just in time to see her break. 

“What?” she chokes out, “why?” 

He shook his head, he knew even before they started dating it wouldn’t work but he “tried” anyways for Marinette’s sake, even though the object of his affection was really Ladybug. And of course he knew it was bad to flirt with another woman while he was dating Marinette but it wasn’t like it was hurting anyone. Besides, if he actually was able to pull Ladybug then it wouldn’t really matter in the end, sure Marinette would be a little hurt and he’d feel bad about it but it never would have worked out between them anyways.

“I’m in love with somebody else.” Adrien may not be the best person in the world but he at least can be honest, he really does appreciate Marinette, but the longer he stayed with her the more she reminded him of Ladybug, only driving the stake deeper in his heart that he wasn’t with her, only Marinette. 

“Who?” she demands. 

Adrien laughs, even he could hear the arrogance in the sound. “Why? What are you going to do, attack her?” For a moment she looks shocked but it quickly morphs to anger. 

“I would like to know, Agreste, because I think I deserve it after all this time we’ve been together. I can’t believe that you’d really think that I’d-”

“It’s Ladybug,” he cuts off her inevitable rant but immediately regrets it. 

“What?” 

“I’m in love with Ladybug.” No turning back now.

“Adrien, you don’t know Ladybug, how the fu** are you in love with her?”

“We used to meet up,” well it’s not necessarily a lie, “she would always be there for me, she made me feel special, like I was her favorite civilian. We would have long talks about everything and nothing,” that’s how it used to be anyways. 

“You’re lying.” Marinette is no longer crying but her eyes are red and she looks. so. angry. 

Adrien shakes his head even though he is partly lying, “I’m not, but she told me how she was in love with Chat Noir,” oh how he wished that were true, “so I pushed myself away, but clearly it didn’t work. I’m still in love with-”

“Stop. Just stop.” This time Marinette cut him off. Looking up from the ground Adrien sees an expression he’s never seen on her face. Disappointment, contempt, just like the way his father looks at him. “I can’t believe this,” she laughs, empty of any humour, and shakes her head. Heading back over to the table she left her things at, she continues to laugh while repeating, “I can’t believe this.” Swinging her purse around her shoulder she grabs her keys and turns back to him. “This whole time. I can’t believe I've never seen it before now. I was so blind. So blind.” 

“So you believe me?” Adrien knows it’s not really important but she was acting weird, crazy even. 

“Do I believe that you’re in love with Ladybug. No. No, I don’t think you’re in love with her, I think you’re obsessed with her. I think you need therapy. I think you need to take a look at yourself and realize that love goes both ways, Adrien. Ladybug doesn’t love you back, never has, and never will.” Anger swelled in his chest but she yanks the door open and looks back one last time, “I can’t believe I gave my heart to a psychopath. You know, I really hope you get over her, Adrien. Because she will never. Ever. have you and you will never be happy with anyone else.” She scoffs and rolls still red eyes, “turns out I was blinded by you like you were blinded by her,” she says before stepping out and slamming the door shut. 

Marinette never looked at him the same way again, gone was the soft adoration in her eyes and replaced with disgust and anger and disappointment, much like the way Ladybug did, if only she could get over her unnecessary negative feelings over him and love him as he loved her. 

--- 

It was amazing how lonely one person could be, Adrien had only returned to Paris for the 10th anniversary of Hawkmoth’s defeat and it was a bigger celebration than usual and festivities were already beginning; but Adrien only felt a gaping hole in his chest from the memories of broken relationships with friends, his only sense of family, and regret. He took in the decorations hanging above doors and the happy squeals of the children in the park. He sat on the end of a nearly empty bench, flashing the pregnant woman on the other end a quick, polite smile not bothering to really look at her, only to reassure that he only meant to sit and not have a conversation with a stranger. 

As he settled and saw all the happy families bustling about the familiar thought of being alone re-emerged, Adrien had simply accepted that he was built and born to be lonely and had accepted that a long long time ago. He accepted it the night Ladybug and Chat Noir defeated Hawkmoth and out of necessity he had revealed himself to the world to avoid suspicion of any involvement of his father’s crimes. Now he was invited every year to give a speech but every year he declined, holding out that Marinette would join him, would reveal to the world that she was Ladybug, but she had dropped any and all communication with him so he always said no. It was silly thinking back to that night, at first he was confused why Ladybug wasn’t surprised in the slightest when he revealed himself and, according to her, only by the goodness of her word revealed herself to him. Although he suspected it was more to watch him suffer than anything else. 

“Oof!” Adrien’s thoughts scatter when a little girl trips and falls right in front of him. 

“ARGHH I coming for youuuuu!” A man’s voice growls out in a playful manner and Adrien turns his head to look at the source of the sound, it’s a rather handsome man with green eyes that were striking against his dark skin. 

The little girl giggles profusely and scrambles up, quickly hiding behind the arm of the bench and using Adrien as a shield from what he assumed was her father. 

Adrien chuckled and glanced over at the girl, about to make a comment to her when his words died in his throat. The girl had a familiar splitting smile with twin pigtails and blue blue blue eyes. Save for the tan skin she was the spitting image of one Marinette Dupain-Cheng, of Ladybug. 

Adrien is staring at her and she notices and her brow furrows. 

“You’re not my mommy,” she says as if he had somehow replaced her or she was considering her mother really was him and had disguised herself somehow. 

A giggle sounds from the other side of the bench. Adrien whips his head to the woman to find her laughing into her hand. She looked different than he remembered but it was unmistakably Marinette, she had a bun atop her head with bangs that framed her face and a sundress with a very pregnant belly. 

“Marinette?”

A happy squeal right in his ear sounded, he flinched and looked over to see the man had snuck around the bench and scooped the girl up in his arms. “No! Papa put me down! Put me down!” she laughed, trying in vain to get out of his grasp while he placed obnoxiously loud kisses all over her face. The man turned to Adrien with a laugh and an easy smile on his lips. 

“Sorry about that-” recognition flitted across the man’s features as he cut himself off, his face falling to a sneer, as if Adrien was scum of the earth, as if the man could not think of a better pass time than to kill Adrien. It was a terrifying change of demeanor, Adrien desperately felt the need to get out of this man’s sight before he got murdered. 

“Damian,” Marinette’s melodic voice sliced through the tension but the man only walked towards her, not dropping his gaze from Adrien. 

Adrien tried to look anywhere else but unfortunately found that the mini-Marinette had developed the same look and was glaring at Adrien. 

Marinette had stood and placed a hand on the arm of the man to placate him before turning to Adrien with a small smile. 

“Hello, Adrien.” He had imagined this moment so many times. So many times. And this was never in any of his imaginations. Marinette with a family that wasn’t his. “It’s good to see you.”

“Really?” he blurted, he needed to know if it was true, had she really thought of him as much as he thought of her?

“Of course.” 

Of course. Of course. Of course. 

“This is husband, Damian-”

“Damian Wayne,” Damian shifted his daughter to his left hip and thrust his hand out. Adrien reached his hand out and the other man practically crushed his bones with an unnecessarily strong grip. 

“-and our daughter, Bridgette.” Adrien glanced at the girl to give her a polite smile but she was still glaring at him the same way her father was. It was quite unnerving. 

“She’s the spitting image of you,” he tries awkwardly. 

“And she’s got her father’s glare it seems,” she chuckles and Adrien tries to laugh along but it sounds much too forced. “I really do hope you’ve been doing well, Adrien. I know we didn’t leave on the best of terms but I hope you’ve been blessed with happiness as I have.” She contemplates him for a short moment. “We both deserve it after-” she waves her hand through the air gesturing towards the festivities, “-everything.” He knew she was referring to their time as Chat Noir and Ladybug but he only thought of how much he couldn’t have happiness after all the things that happened in his life outside the suit. “We have to get going but it was nice to see you.” She sends him one last smile and turns away, easily slipping into her husband’s side, who was Damian freaking Wayne, CEO of a multi-billion dollar company, and walks away. Again.

Adrien could never compare, and he knew it. 

He lamely calls out, “It was good to see you too,” before collapsing back onto the bench and takimg a deep shuddering breath. 

Ok i know he didn't find a lost child but I don't want to rewrite it😭😭 I hope it still checks the rest of the boxes!

[randominagines]

Pairing: Nick Clark X reader

A version of the original story in which you are Nick's best friend and you live the apocalypse with him, sharing good and bad sides and realising that you are destined to be more than friends.

Warning: what if, sex reference, drug reference, parent's death, language, mostly angst, a bit fluff. I've changed some details from the original storyline, nothing too big btw.

P.s. if you find any mistake please correct me, English is not my mother tongue and I want to improve. Reblog, if you can, it helps a lot, thank you💕

P.p.s. gifs belong to the creators

Falling in love with Nick Clark would include:

You and him became friends when you were kids but he had a crush on you since forever, he never confessed it because he was just scared to ruin your friendship;

Plus, he thought you deserved so much more than him;

You were dating Calvin during high school and he was like super jealous but also worried because he knew Calvin was not a good boy;

When Calvin screwed everything up cheating on you Nick was half relieved, half sorry to see you heartbroken. He stood by your side, of course;

"Y/n, he's just an asshole, he doesn't know what he just lost";

"Thank you, Nick, I don't know what I would do without you";

He realized he was in love with you the last day of high school and also tried to summon up the courage to confess to you, but he was starting to become an addict and you were about to start college, so he gave up;

You tried to stop him from starting doing heroine and failed, but always stayed by his side. He never let you see him when he was in worst conditions but you always kept supporting and helping him by trying to convince him to go on rehabilitation. You drove him to therapy and helping group session. Even when he kept starting to drug himself again, you never pushed him away, even if the boy you were dating at the time couldn't understand why;

"Y/n, he's just an addict, why do you insist on being his friend?";

"I won't even bother trying to explain to you what Nick means to me. We're done, by the way.";

When Nick's father died he practically ran away from the funeral, but you knew where to find him: he didn't push you away, he let you stay by his side.

You felt your heart skip a beat when Alicia called you explaining about Nick's accident. You ran at the hospital to see him;

"Y/n! Finally someone willing to tell me how shitty I look right now.";

"Fuck you, Clark, you'll be the death of me one day."

You tried to to stay mad but you were mostly just relieved that he was okay;

He explained you what happened at the church and you immediately believed him;

"I knew you would have believed me, y/n;"

You even decide to go to the church to see what happened and found the blood stains on the floor. You were totally certain that Nick was not crazy and you also warned Madison about your recent discovery;

You comforted him when he called you telling you about the fact that he had killed Calvin, you were the only person he really wanted by his side in that moment. He had a mental breakdown in your arms and you just held him whispering to him that you were there for him;

He got angry when he knew you went to the church;

"Y/n, are you crazy? That is an awful place and could have been dangerous! I can't risk losing you.";

"I just wanted to prove to your mother and Travis that you were telling the truth.";

When the apocalypse started, your mother was bitten and killed herself to protect you. She only left you her necklace with a pendant shaped as a white daisy. The Clarks welcomed you in their family and Nick became the most importan person of your life;

"Mom is gone, I don't have a family anymore", you said while caressing your necklace;

"Y/n, never say this again, we are your family and you'll never be alone";

Madison and Alicia always consider you as a part of their family since you grew up with Nick so they did their best to make sure you could feel better;

You started to spend your days trying to move on and process the fact that your mom was gone. Nick was the most thoughtful person ever and you and him used to spend afternoons in the pool, his attraction and love toward you growing day by day, especiallybecauseyoure were spendingall the time together;

You comforted him when Madison found out that he was stealing morphine;

"Don't worry, Nick, everything will be okay.";

You stayed by his side during his abstinence crisis and tried your best to help him;

You were the most desperate when he was taken away, your mind being filled with thoughts of never seeing him anymore. That's when you realised that you were in love with your best friend;

Madison wanted to protect you by not getting you involved in Nick's rescue but you insisted;

"He's all I have, there's no way I'm waiting here. I'm coming with you."

You felt your heart melting when you finally found him, but the door was stuck and he tried to say goodbye to you, his eyes looking at you with love;

You immediately hugged him as soon as Liza opened the door, he held you back while you were whispering his name;

You found a moment of peace on the Abigail, not a day going by without you thinking about your mom but also the constant relief of having Nick by your side;

You always made sure he was okay, he was dealing with a drug rehabilitation without the proper medicines and therapies, after all. He appreciated your thoughtfulness more than everything and always reassured you that he was okay;

You and him used to spend whole nights looking at the stars and talking about many things, the usual harmony between the two of you connecting your minds and hearts;

"Nick, do you remember when we skipped math class every single wednesday because there was that offer in that restaurant where they served Mexican food? You were so obsessed!";

"I had almost forgot how much incline I was at spending my money on food, y/n.";

You two always ended up laughing a lot, when you were with him it was almost like the apocalypse never started;

"It's crazy how you have the power to make me forget that the world is actually falling apart, Nick.";

Nick was the best thing of your life, but you also developed a beautiful friendship with Chris, not to mention how much you and Alicia cared about each other;

He was absolutely happy to have you around on the Abigail but hiding his feelings was becoming more complicated. He was also kinda jealous of the complicity between you and Chris;

Alicia was the first person you confessed your feelings for Nick to. She's super clever so she had already noticed and she also knew that her brother loved you;

"I knew it, the way you look at him has changed. Just tell him, y/n.";

You were torn for days and also started to overthinking so much that you became paranoid, you also started to believe that Nick liked Ofelia;

You decided to land with them and were the first to notice Nick entirely covered in blood and moving among the zombies as he was one of them. Your stomach was knotted untill you looked at him in his eyes and realized he was okay;

He kept an eye on you during the whole battle against the zombies and you made sure to protect him as well. You always used to watch each other's backs in that situations;

"Oh my God, Nick. I thought you had turned, my heart literally stopped working!";

You shouted as soon as the battle was over while hugging him, not even the unpleasant scent of blood all over him stopping you from resting your head on his shoulder. He held you back.

He checked on your neck and wrists to make sure you were not hurt or bitten, he was frightened of the idea of losing you;

Once you were back on the Abigail you decided you were tired of him being so reckless and always putting his life at risk, you ignored him for the rest of the day;

He came knocking at your door for explanation and you finally snapped;

"I'm angry at you because you keep doing stupid, dangerous things and I can't fucking lose you. I know how egoistic this sounds, but I love you, Nicholas Clark, and I don't want to lose you.";

He was shocked at the beginning but immediately kissed you, he had been waiting for that moment since forever;

Your first time was absolutely incredible: you were so in harmony, not a trace of embarrassment, totally connected to each other. You were having sex with your best friend since the kindergarten and it was absolutely beautiful;

"It took an apocalypse to make me realize that I love you.";

"Well, I realized that I love you years ago but waiting was worth it. You are worth it, y/n, and I love you."

Nick was a very thoughtful boyfriend. He always made sure you were comfortable, you felt loved and appreciated;

He complimented you a lot and always searched for physical contact;

You both decided to keep your relationship secret to avoid embarrassment on the Abigail. After all, Madison was totally sure you were like brother and sister;

He used to sneak out in your room every night, to make love to you and fall asleep in your arms;

"Baby, for as much as I love hearing you moaning my name, just lower your voice or we will wake up everyone on this boat.";

He is a creative lover. He loves experimenting new things and always makes sure to remind you how much he likes you;

"I've never seen a body more beautiful and hot than yours, you drive me totally crazy, y/n.";

He's a tease and mostly a dom but seeing you take control turns him on like nothing else;

He loved watching you sleeping, he found you so peaceful. He spent hours caressing your hair and thinking about the fact that he finally had you, after years pretending that this was not the only thing he ever wanted;

He tended to get insicure sometimes;

"You're the best person I know, y/n. You're brilliant, smart, funny, absolutely beautiful, your heart is enormous and I'm quite convinced that no one can understand people like you do. You love deeply and you have a pure soul. And what about me? How can I be good enough for you? I'm an addict and I'm a mess, that's all.";

"Nick, you're so much more than how you think. I've seen you falling many times, crumbling down as if you were made of glass. This world was has been incredibly harsh to you, yet you always managed to find a way to fight back. You're smart, no one is as good as you are at problem solving. You're kind, you care about everyone, and you're my love, the only person I want by my side. You're more than good enough for me, you've always been.";

He was fragile with you, but also incredibly strong when you were feeling vulnerable. You completed each other;

You knew each other deeply since you had been friends for a lifetime. You were in perfect harmony and sometimes you felt like there was not a chance for you to immagine a life without him;

You were almost convinced that everything was going for the better untill you arrived at Thomas Abigail Ranch; your boyfriend started to act weird again and you found out that he was sharing Celia's crazy ideas. You tried to talk some sense into him with kindness, you knew him so deeply that you were more than well aware of the best way to talk to him;

"Nick, baby, I know you hate the idea of killing, but those... those thigs, are not alive. You are and I am, you can hear my heart beating and I can hear yours. Don't risk your life for silly ideas. I love you, I want you to be safe.";

The last thing he wanted was to hurt you so he started being more careful, but he just couldn't stop thinking that maybe Celia was all right;

His heart was broken when he decided to leave you and his family but he needed time and he knew that you would have been safer with Madison;

"I'm not going without you, Nick.";

"I'll find you, I will always find you. I love you, y/n, but I have to go.";

You spent the worst period of your life separated from Nick. The constant fear of never seeing him again or of finding out that he had been killed or worse, turned, hunted you for weeks.

Things kept getting worse: you, Madison and Alicia found yourselves alone;

When Travis fell from the helicopter he tried to hold on to something and he ripped off your necklace, you lost it too;

Nick heard voices about the fact that a body was found and the people bringing the news had found your necklace: he immediately recognised it and believed you were dead. He fell in a state of deep sadness, so dark that he simply stopped trying to go on. He started dragging himself from a day to another without a real aim, his only thought being you and the heavy regret of letting you;

He spent days crying, his bed being the only place he saw and your necklace squeezed in his hand;

He found a bit of peace in Luciana, his heart still too broke to love another person but his mind convincing himself that he had to go on;

When you finally found him, you were the happiest person alive. You didn't even doubted a moment: you ran in his arms, your face hiding in the crook of his neck and your arms squeezing him. He was shocked, he couldn't understand, but he softly held you back smelling your scent, as he was afraid to see you crumbling and slipping away from his fingers as sand;

"Y/n.. am I dreaming or are you really here?";

Tears were running down your face when you finally looked at him and kissed him;

"I'm here, Nick.";

But happiness couldn't last. As soon as you arrived at the ranch the brutal truth came out: Nick had a girlfriend. Your heart was broken, how could he have forgotten so soon. You refused to hear explanation.

"I feel so stupid, because I love and I've been tormenting myself since the moment your turned your back and walked away that day. I was not angry at you for leaving us, I know you since forever and I know you sometimes need your space, but making me believe that you loved me... Is forgetting about everything we had and simply starting dating someone else love? If it's so easy for you not only leaving me in a world which gives no guarantee to see someone again but also finding someone else to be with then I'm not sure you have ever loved me, Nick."

Your words were like a knife in his heart: precise, firm, clean. He couldn't even say anything. He loved you and the only reason why he tried to move on was because he thought you were dead, but he started to believe that maybe he had never been enough to be by your side. He let you go, your eyes filled with tears and your necklace almost pulsing in his pocket.

PART 2 HERE

[ewwhothefuckiski]

I Love You- Luke Patterson

Guardian angel!luke × fem!reader

Requested by: @spiderwars101 (requests are open)

"Okay hun, I got a request for you! Guardian Angel!Luke Patterson x Alive!Reader where he is her guardian angel and they are in love, and one day Y/n almost gets herself killed/hurt walking home from H.S/College, and Luke to make her feel better sings her Now or Never (because it's her favorite!) And they make love for the first time after???? "

Word Count: 2k+

TW: mentions of suicide, abuse, angst with a fluffy ending, smut

A/N: Ok so I had SO much fun writing this!!! So thank you. I spent a long time on this so reblogs are appreciated!!!

×××

When Luke died, he didn't expect to become a ghost, He didn't expected to sit in a room for 25 years comforting Alex as he cried, but he sure as hell didn't expect to be ripped away from that room and become a guardian angel to a 17 year old girl with a rough life.

But it happened.

Y/N had a really terrible childhood. Her dad left her mom once he found out she was pregnant, never to be heard from again, leaving a hole in her heart where a fathers love was supposed to be. She missed him, a man she had never met. She had tried reaching out to him multiple times, just wanting to have some type of relationship with her father, but he never answered, never even sent a card on her birthday.

Her mom eventually found love again, except, the guy she fell in love with was abusive, physically and emotionally. He had a way with words, a way to make you feel worthless and unwanted. He made you feel like you had no place there, and it broke Y/N's soul even more. She'd never forget when he slapped her across the face, screaming how pathetic she was, saying how she was good for nothing and everyone would be better off if she was gone.

After years and years of built up torment, Y/N finally felt herself snap, she finally fell down the rabbit hole of spiraling depression. She didn't know why she was going through it all, why it had to be her. Why should she even be here, if all she was doing was living in constant agony and resentment.

It wasn't until she met Luke, her guardian angel, that she knew why she needed to keep pushing, keep moving forwards. It was her love for the boy who died too young.

She had been sitting on the bathroom floor, razor blade pressed into her skin, crying as she attempted to take her own life. She just couldn't take the emotional pain she was being put through any longer. Luke had suddenly flashed into the room, causing her to stop her movements.

He looked around confused, wondering why he was no longer in a dark room with a sobbing Alex, until his eyes landed on the very scared looking girl, razor blade hovering over her wrist.

"Hey wait- don't do that!" He gasped, grabbing the razor from her shaking hands. She looked up at him, her eyes wide.

"What's wrong?" Luke asked, setting the blade down and sitting down in front of the girl, concern etched into his face.

"Who-Who are you?" She whispered, staring at the boy in wonder.

Luke knew the answer as soon as she asked, almost like the answer was whispered to him.

"I'm your guardian angel."

×××

Luke doesn't know quite how it happened, or even when, but he had found himself in love with Y/N.

Alex and Reggie had quickly caught on to the boy's love sick behavior, sharing knowing glances every time Luke would go on about how amazing she is.

"-and I still have to wait two hours!" Luke groaned, throwing himself onto the couch in the Molina's garage. They had just recently been poofed into there after Julie Molina had played their demo, and have stayed ever since.

Alex glanced at Reggie, smirking as Reggie shook his head at Luke.

"You'll be fine man, Julie is with her anyways, she can look after her."

"I'm not worried about that-" Luke said, rolling his eyes at Alex. "-I just can't wait to see her again."

When both Reggie and Alex smirked, Luke's cheeks flushed red. "What?"

"You are totally in love with her." Reggie chuckled, lazily strumming at his bass. "We can all see it."

Luke scoffed and stood up, walking over and grabbing his guitar, avoiding eye contact.

"You guys are crazy." He mumbled, picking at the strings randomly.

"Dude, you've got it bad." Alex laughed, chucking a drum stick at Luke's head, who quickly dodged it. "Just admit it to yourself already."

Luke sent a glare in Alex's direction, before plopping back onto the couch, still strumming his guitar.

"I'm not in love with her, I'm supposed to protect her, watch over her. That's why we're so close, not because I'm in love with her."

"Ok." Alex sighed, rolling his eyes and standing up. "Well, while you sit around and pout for the next two hours, I'll be with Willie."

Alex snapped his fingers and poofed out, leaving a very bored Luke and Reggie to play random things on their instruments.

×××

"Hey Jules, could you let Luke know I'm staying behind today?" Y/N asked, her nose still in her history book. "I need to finish this assignment."

"No problem. I'm sure he'll just wait outside like a golden retriever anyways."

Y/N laughed and waved goodbye, turning back to her book and looking for the last few answers.

It took her about a hour, but after reading the chapter 5 times, she was finally able to wrap up her homework.

Y/N sighed contently as she shut the book, stretching her sore limbs before packing up her belongings, excited to be going home and into Luke's comforting arms.

She slung her bag over her shoulder, and headed outside to start her journey home.

When she walked towards the parking lot, it was completely deserted. She looked at the time and gasped, she had been there longer than she thought.

She saw a flash of light across the street, and grinned when she seen Luke appear. She quickly rushed out to cross the street, not looking before she did. Luke smiled and opened his arms, until he noticed a car speeding in Y/N's direction.

His eyes went wide and he was quick to run to Y/N, quickly pulling her out of the road, the car just barely missing her.

Y/N gripped Luke's arms, her eyes wide and heart racing. Her breathing was quick to pick up, a panic attack soon to form. Luke took notice and quickly wrapped his arms around her, poofing them into her bedroom, whispering soft nothing's into her ear.

"Hey, focus on me." Luke muttered, tilting her head up to look at him. When her wide eyes met his, and her breaths didn't slow, he starting softly singing her favorite song.

"Take off, last stop-" He started, laughing when she manage to smile through her ragged breathing. "-sing it with me!"

"C-Count down till we blast open the top." She started, suddenly feeling her panic attack start to die down.

Luke grinned as he continued the song, pausing every so often to let her finish the lyrics. By the time the song was over, her breathing had returned to normal, and she was laughing with him.

"See? You're ok!" He said, placing a kiss on her forehead. When he pulled away, he placed a hand on her cheek, his thumb tracing it softly.

Y/N placed her hand atop of his, holding it gently.

Their eyes connected, and suddenly Luke felt a swarm of butterflies attack his stomach. They had been a lot closer than he realized, their faces mere inches away from each other.

Y/N's eyes flicked from Luke's to his lips, wanting nothing more to experience his soft lips on hers. It had been something she had dreamed of for a while now, ever since she realized she had fallen in love with her guardian angel.

Luke took notice in her flickering gaze, and swallowed the lump in his throat. He slowly leaned forward, his lips barely grazing hers, before she closed the gap and connected her lips with his.

Luke felt a spark ignite within him as their lips met, a heat spread through him, causing him to sigh and pull her closer, his lips molding into hers.

Their lips moved in sync, the kiss slow, but full of fire, full of passion that had their heads fuzzy and stomach in knots. It was the type of kiss that left you breathless, left you wanting more.

"Ready to head home?"