#crying because he’s bi and just wants Eddie

[thisissirius]

if their confession isn’t in the rain what’s the POINT

[littlemelaninfics]

Surprise, Surprise

a/n: I had this mostly written in my drafts before Bi!Buck actually became canon and wanted to finish it, so enjoy <3 (18+ ONLY)

Warnings: pregnant reader, fluff (whoa! Cali writes fluff? Don’t get used to it 😉)

“Is y/n feeling okay?”

“Yeah. Why do you ask?”

“Because she looks - Well she looks a little-“

“Hot.” Maddie said.

“Yeah that,” Chim agreed while pointing to Maddie.

“Hot?” Buck asked furrowing his brow.

“As in sexy. Foxy. Hot!” Maddie said very bluntly that even had her husband looking at her. Athena and Hen scurried to the three at the kitchen island to join in,

“You guys talking about Y/n?” Hen asked.

“I don’t mean to be suggestive as I am a woman of class, but whatever you’re doing Buck, keep doing it,” Athena nodded as she raised her glass to the gals.

“It’s not that she wasn’t THAT before now, but we haven’t seen her in a while and she looks and even feels different. I can feel her vibe from here,” Hen said as she playfully grasped at the air in your direction.

“Uh, heh, yeah. I guess things are a little different,” Buck said while looking back at you sweetly,

“Uh, I mean, things are good! Great even! That’s why you guys are here. We wanted to see everyone in one room for once,” Buck smiled, “so glad you’re all here.” Buck sipped on his beer before his foot got stuck any further down his throat.

The get together was in full swing when you went and grabbed the extra bag of ice from the freezer. Buck saw you out of the corner of his eye and practically flew out of his pants rushing over to you. Eddie saw the interaction from across the room and squinted his eyebrows in his chismoso ways. He migrated to the group by the counter with a full on detective look on his face,

“Y’all saw that, right?”

“You mean the way Buck Scooby-Doo’ed his way out of his seat to help a grown woman carry 10 pounds of ice? Yeah.” Hen confirmed. All heads turned to Eddie waiting for an explanation.

“Why are you looking at me?”

“You’re his best friend,” Maddie said matter of factly.

“You’re his sister,” Eddie mocked back.

“I mean it would explain the changes we all see,” Hen shrugged her shoulders.

“The glowing skin, thicker hair, filled out in the appropriate places…” Athena drifted off.

“The cravings, the mood swings, the crying…” Chimney chimed in. Now all heads swifted his way,

“I saw her last Thursday-

“Chimney!”

“Dude!”

“What!? I wasn’t paying attention to anything except the safety and well being of my Jiyung. But it does make a little more sense now…”

They stared on as Buck kissed you on your forehead and took the ice to the cooler. Bobby rounded the corner in the backyard and made his way over to you, giving you the biggest hug. The group realizes he’s pointing to Buck a lot and using grand gestures,

“Think he knows something?” Hen asked Athena who just looked on. Bobby went to head inside when he spotted the gathering at the counter and immediately stopped in his tracks to turn the other way.

“He knows!” Eddie said has he raced around the counter, beating Bobby to bathroom,

“Hey Cap! What’s up?”

“What’s up, Eddie?”

“Nothin. Just hangin out, you know,” he said with a big smile and deep eye contact trying to read his Captain.

Feeling awkward,

“Alright well, I’m gonna..” Bobby said as he motioned to the bathroom.

“Yeah, man! For sure! We’ll be right out here!” Eddie walked back to the island.

“He’s not coming out,” Chimney said, “Do you think that’s why everyone’s here? So they can tell us all?”

“I guess we’ll find out, but we can’t in good conscience harass Bobby into telling us,” Athena said as she was the first to walk off.

The party went on for another hour or so when Buck called the attention of everyone,

“Y/N and I would first like to start off by thanking you all for being here. It means a lot to us that we can see the people we love and care about all together and creating memories. That’s why today is so special. Uh, it has come to my attention that some of you may be guessing…” he said as he turned his attention to his family and they turned to Bobby who kept his eyes wide and trained forward,

“My wife and I have created our true dream life and forever team. We’ve been through so much together and have been privileged to have had all of you by our side along the way. Which is why we are-words can’t even describe this feeling, but we are beyond blessed to announce that we are expecting our first child-”

The party erupted in cheer and Bobby let out a sigh of relief before joining in on the applause. Buck never got to finish his speech before parents were coming up to you both and giving hugs.

“You knew?” Athena asked Bobby.

“For 3 weeks now. He said he needed to tell someone but knew it was too early to tell everyone.”

“Ohh, so in the end you just respecting Buck’s wishes?” She delivered with a playful side eye.

“Exactly,” he said leaning down to kiss her forehead and pull her in.

[lover-of-mine]

it’s so interesting that with previous love interests, it was normal and fine to not ship them and to still want buddie in the future, but now, we have to sit down and shut up and accept that it’s never happening and B/T are forever

oh no wait, it’s not interesting, it’s annoying and confusing and frankly just weird. misogynistic and borderline fetishistic

shipping non-canon couples, especially ones with 6 years of history and love and shared experiences, is the norm in literally every fandom, but now suddenly it’s wrong and how dare we

a fair few of the people saying this are also, conveniently, the ones implying that B’s bisexuality is tied to T and T alone and if we don’t ship them, we don’t support bi!B

how. very. interesting! /annoying/confusing/weird

So interesting. Dude, I got called homophobic because I didn't immediately look at them in 703 and decided they were true love. In 703. Because I didn't look at the shoulder touch and immediately started shipping them. Homophobic with all the letters. I got yelled at. After 703. Legit almost deleted this whole blog over some of the things that got sent. I was legitimately crying with friends who are not in the fandom if I was being unreasonable or insane or whatever else I got called for not jumping in instantly and to ask if I was actually doing something wrong. People were saying we were being weird about queer storylines. That we needed to shut the fuck up and enjoy the way Oliver Stark was gonna make out with a hot guy. That not being on board the ship meant that we had an unreasonable and ridiculous necessity of making sure Eddie was the only guy for Buck. Literally every single person in this fandom hc Buck 1.0 also hooked up with guys. Most people never acted as if Buck needs to be guided through his queerness by this hot older guy. Oh, wait, no, they did. With T. People automatically decided that Buck needed a queer Yoda. That he needed someone to hold his hand and be a guide. They added a fucked up power dynamic from the get go. With no information, Buck was already a baby that needed his hand held through his own sexuality. And let me tell you one thing, I know for a FACT that if it was Eddie, the automatic reaction wouldn't be putting T in this idealized experienced gay guide position when that would've made more sense (not that I think any of them needs a guide) because Eddie is the one with the body count you can count with one hand and a weird relationship with sex. But somehow I'm the one who's weird about Buck's sexuality. I don't want Buck to explore. I need Buck to only have loved Eddie. Sure. Look, I don't wanna multiship. The same way everyone is allowed to ship whatever the fuck they want, I'm allowed to not ship whatever the fuck I want. If it was a woman no one would've been in my inbox basically demanding I make the same level of analysis I make for buddie for them (let me tell you one thing too, if I made the level of analysis I do with buddie with bt, no one would like what I have to say ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯) but I'm still getting asked for it for some reason when I never indicated I ship the two.

But I'm not allowed to have any critical thoughts about anything involving bt or else I'm being weird and that's the mild term that's being used. I can't point out the fact that T left Buck in a curb and failed to communicate shit properly even though it happened in canon. I can't say that I think it felt kinda callous for him to say "they had henleys in the 80s" to Buck being upset T didn't dress on theme (also, the job requires them to change into a uniform by nature, he could've put a colorful shirt and indulged Buck a little bit there without it interfering with the way he was on standby but I can't say that or else I'm a hater). There is no criticism allowed in the ship but somehow I'm the one being weird. I don't think Buck should be in a relationship. I think Buck is still exhibiting the same patterns when it comes to love interests. And yes, I would feel the same way if it was Eddie. Buck doesn't know how to be happy alone and he will never be happy in a relationship until he learns that. I was saying that when it was Natalia and getting praised for my understanding of Buck's character. Now I'm locking Buck onto Eddie. Buck's bisexuality is only valid if he's actively kissing a guy for some people but I'm the one being weird. BT have so many visual parallels to bucktaylor, but if I say that's a bad sign I'm being a hater. I need to sit my ass down, ignore six seasons of buildup, accept that it's over, and that now making Eddie queer and getting buddie together would suck because it would destroy the friendship they built so bt are endgame and gonna get married and somehow I'm the one who's being weird about queer relationships and attaching Buck bisexuality to a person. The fandom lost its fucking mind when they saw Oliver kiss a guy and, yeah, it does feel misogynistic and borderline fetishizing. But somehow I'm the one getting blocked by half the fandom when I'm not even pointing everything I want out. I lose at least one mutual every time I even suggest maybe we should look at things a bit more critically. I have to sit here and justify things to an insane degree while people's reaction to any of the criticism is "uH BuT T Is hOt aNd hE Is a gUy sO It iS DiFfErEnT oKaY?" Critical thinking skills went out the window because now there's a guy involved and that's fucking weird. People are straight up erasing Eddie, the actual main character of the show, Buck's established partner of years, Buck's best friend, the only person in canon who never left Buck in any capacity, because some guy kissed Buck and, he, uh *check notes* treats Buck as an actual human being? so that means he's perfect. It's nuts. The bar is hell.

Yes, I know this is not everyone in the fandom and I know this is not everyone who ships them but if what I'm saying feels like a personal attack to you maybe you should do some thinking. Anyone can ship anything, you want to ship them go off, power to you, the weird part here is the way some people are demanding other people ship it too. We could all be coexisting if people didn't get weirdly comfortable demanding shit from other people in the fandom and deciding their opinion is the only one that matters so they need to call out anyone who thinks differently, but alas, that's too much to ask.

[inawickedlittletown]

No Queerbaiting Here

A long time ago…I’m talking May of 2021, I wrote a meta post about queerbaiting. Essentially an essay. I wrote it right before the S4 finale of 9-1-1 aired because I was frustrated by Buddie fans calling Queerbait entirely like the boy that cried wolf. I still stand by it. Sort of. 

Now, even back then I was pretty clear about how 50/50 I was on Buddie ever going canon. (Maybe not in that post but certainly elsewhere) But, I shipped Buddie then and wrote a lot of fic and meta and participated in fandom. I never said it couldn’t happen…I just would never be bothered if it didn’t.

Where we stand now: It’s not going to happen. 

And where I stand now: fully immersed in Bucktommy. And what’s more, I am more than perfectly happy about Buck and Tommy staying together and going the long-run. Although I can still look at Buddie and think it’s a cute ship, I just don’t want it in canon. I would not be satisfied if the show went that way. But what’s more if Buck and Tommy don’t work out, that would be disappointing, but I’d be okay as long as they got to be happy. There is, after all, always fanfiction. 

So, I wanted to revisit this concept a bit now that Buck has been confirmed as Bisexual and now that he is in a relationship with a man. Not Eddie. Tommy. And somehow, some Buddie fans are still crying queerbait because their ship is not canon. That’s not how it works. Also…shipping works outside of canon, that’s the whole point of shipping. 

To reiterate from my original post on queerbaiting, here’s the definition from wikipedia:

“Queerbaiting is a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then do not actually depict, same-sex romance or other LGBTQ representation. They do so to attract a queer or straight ally audience with the suggestion of relationships or characters that appeal to them, while at the same time attempting to avoid alienating other consumers.” 

Here’s where I stand: Buddie was abandoned a long time ago. If it was ever a real possibility, we won’t ever know. What we do know is that Oliver was aware that at one point he had given them the go-ahead to make Buck Bi. Whether this was by putting Buck and Eddie together or having Buck realize this another way, we just don’t know that. We don’t have that information and nor will it probably ever be provided to us. Narratively, I know that a lot of fans figured the timing of it fit with S4 and that particular finale but we really just don’t know despite what happened in the finale.

I found that interesting looking back at my own post from back then and the discussion that followed where some fans felt that the way the finale went would determine if Buddie would be another queerbait ship. (I think most people agreed after the will scene that it wasn’t queerbait because it did leave a kernel of hope that Buddie might still happen). 

And yeah, I guess you could argue that the network deciding not to go the route of a queer storyline points to missed opportunity. That doesn’t then mean that any queerbaiting occurred or that any fans are owed anything just because something that was set up or that the writers were writing towards was then scrapped by the network. Is it a shame that it didn’t happen in whatever way they wanted to play it out, sure, but only because Buck would have been confirmed queer earlier. In the same vein isn’t it nice that we have a confirmed Bisexual Buck now? That the show managed to bring it back to that.

A Buck that is happy and free and that has realized something so monumental about himself? Isn’t it nice that all the queer coding that Buck as a character has received since the start of the show is actually finally not just queer coding but full on character development? That we can look back at the show and see all the things Buck did around other men for exactly what they were. 

When Tommy first returned to 9-1-1 in S7, I think a lot of us were excited by the spoilers about Buck and Tommy because of Bi Buck, but also because this was the thing that could lead to Buddie. 

And then…then Tommy was actually on my screen and I doubted it. I actually thought maybe the spoilers were wrong and this was about Eddie and Tommy? That episode flipped things in such an expertly way that by the time Tommy and Buck were sharing a kiss for the first time I was right there with Buck. On a second watch, it is all there. Buck was never jealous because his friend was ignoring him. He was jealous because his best friend had the attention of the guy whose attention he wanted for himself. The writing on that was perfect and no amount of twisting it can change what happened on screen. 

Buck was not jealous because of Eddie. Tommy was never interested in more than friendship with Eddie. And Buck and Tommy have nothing to do with Buddie. Tommy is not a stepping stone, a way for Buck to be ready to then embark on a relationship with Eddie. That’s both disrespectful to Tommy and Buck, but just not what the story being told on the show is doing. 

The storyline is monumental. Having a big strong guy, a firefighter, figure out his sexuality in his thirties is such good storytelling and add to that Tommy. Someone that we already know, who already works as a first responder, and who can show up and wow Buck in such a way that he realizes something about himself? This is what I’ve always wanted. Because guess what, Buck never questioned his sexuality before this. Not when he met Eddie and not when he met anyone else, not until Tommy. 

Going into the new season we know a few things and one of those is that Buck and Tommy are thriving. The media coverage talks about them as a solid couple, it talks about Buck having someone to turn to and complain to. It talks about how they are still in the getting to know each other phase and I love that for them. I love how they are being treated and described and I can’t wait to see what plays out for them and how much of the build up of their relationship we may get to actually see. 

Do you know what the media and the show never talked about outwardly like this? Buddie. Whenever it came up it was always brushed aside in a way that was respectful to fans and what they saw, but without ever confirming or hinting that the show would ever go there. They never queerbaited anyone with Buddie, what they have done is say “yeah…we know what you see” and then turned around and given us a Buck and Eddie friendship and Buck kissing Tommy, going on a date with Tommy, and thriving with Tommy. 

So, no queerbaiting here on the show where half of the major canon pairings are queer. It’s actually more like some fans baiting other fans with theories and headcanons that just don’t fit.

[bidisasterevankinard]

Try to deny that Buck's bisexual awakening was Tommy is wrong people. Even IF Buck had something for Eddie he never tried to look at it and do something about it to be more than friends with Eddie. Cry how much you want, but Eddie is not Buck's awaking. He never questioned himself because of Eddie

Stop making Buck's bisexuality about Eddie. It's biphobic making Buck have attraction to evey person. Buck and Tommy can be friends with attractive man without having any feelings to him(here i call out people who says Buck was second option to Tommy). It's not how attraction works. Do you feel attraction to every person you meet? I don't think so. Stop saying gay and bi men were attracted to Eddie first then just because he's pretty for you

You have missed how Oliver and Tim talked how they don't want the story where queer man comes out and his friend thinks it means his attracted to him?

Buck's awaking was Tommy. No other man before made him questioning himself. Yes, Buck bisexuality not about Tommy, but without this attraction he wouldn't understand it

[woodchoc-magnum]

how do you have so much faith in buddie after that episode? i just feel like the show just told us buddie won't happen but buck will be with a guy(maybe not tommy) but some other random ass guy.

Because:

"You can have my back any day." "Or you could have mine."

Buck taking Eddie to collect Christopher after the earthquake

Buck recognising that Eddie needs support, and finding Carla for him

"You two have an adorable son."

Buck and Christopher in the tsunami

Buck telling Eddie that he lost Christopher

Eddie literally coming to the loft and reassuring him that he trusts Buck more than anyone in the world

The lawsuit breakup and reconciliation

"Wanna go for the title?"

Ana says Christopher shouldn't skateboard, so Buck finds a way to build him a skateboard.

Eddie gets trapped at the bottom of a collapsed well, and Buck CLAWS AT THE DIRT SCREAMING FOR HIM (aka the television moment that changed my life forever)

Abby comes back, and Eddie is RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of it.

Buck going out of his way to buy Eddie the coffee machine he secretly wants

Buck Begins, where Eddie spends the entirety reassuring Buck.

Eddie starts dating Ana, so Buck starts dating again (because one can't date without the other panic dating as well)

Eddie gets shot in the street and Buck is literally splattered with his blood

Buck crawling under the firetruck to save Eddie's life

Buck having to tell Christopher that Eddie was hurt

Buck RACING TO THE HOSPITAL WHEN EDDIE WAKES UP - oh Ana is there? No she doesn't matter, Buck is the one that matters

Eddie telling Buck that he isn't expendable and confessing that he changed his Will so Buck would be Christopher's guardian

Ana being mistaken as Christopher's mother and Eddie subsequently having a panic attack about it

Buck recognising that Eddie wasn't in love with Ana and essentially guiding him into breaking up with her

Leading to the most queer-coded breakup in the history of television. "The idea of us??" Eddie

The hostage situation; the gun going off and Buck thinking that Eddie is hurt

Depression era Eddie, and Buck literally breaking down the door to rescue him

Buck then being there for him every step of the way. Girlfriend? what girlfriend

Culminating in them working together again when dispatch burns down, and Eddie returning to the 118

Buck FINALLY ending our misery and breaking up with Taylor

The family scenes at the start of season 6

Buck getting struck by lighting and Eddie climbing the ladder to try to pull him back UP because he was so panicked

Eddie trying to get to him; Eddie giving him CPR

Eddie telling them to DO MORE

Eddie sneaking Christopher into his hospital room and crying at his bedside

Buck knowing in his coma dream that Eddie and Christopher were missing

Eddie being Buck's safe place; the only place he can fall asleep

Eddie taking him on a poker date and apparently not railing him afterwards??

the look on Eddie's face when Buck tells him that Natalia "sees him"

And Eddie immediately trying to date because Buck's taken

The fact that we start season 7 with Buck already single and Eddie having essentially filled a permanent babysitter role in his life with Marisol

Eddie and Tommy becoming friends, being the cause of Buck's jealousy - this is not about Tommy, by the way, because Buck hasn't quite figured the Eddie of it out YET

All leading to the BIG BI KISS

And wherever the fuck the next episode is taking us

So yeah, one kiss doesn't invalidate five six seasons of build-up, and that's why I'm not worried.

[buck-up-buck]

Canon Events that have happened over the three episodes that have me going INSANE (like, these actually happened and are not Fanon.)

Buck asked Tommy for a tour of Harbour, not because he wanted to consider learning to fly, or leave the 118, but soley because he wanted to hang out with Tommy.

Buck used Christopher for information on Tommy.

Buck pretended to suddenly be into Basketball so that he could go to the game, just because he knew Eddie and Tommy would be there.

MADDIE MOCKED BUCK ABOUT OPENLY HAVING A CRUSH ON EDDIE.

Buck body slammed Eddie while playing Basketball (honestly, I still cannot get over the fact that he YEETED THIS BOII).

Tommy got Buck's address from Eddie and chose to come around to apologise to Buck even though, TECHNICALLY, Buck was the one acting like a spoilt brat all episode.

BUCK WAS KISSED BY A MAN. SPECIFICALLY, BUCK WAS KISSED BY TOMMY. And then proceeded to be swept off his feet by this man and was left starstruck in his apartment, after Tommy openly communicated that he had to go to work and wasn't just kissing and bailing.

"I'm an Ally."... Need I say no more.

Buck acted like a totally fucking idiot on his first date with Tommy, and proceeded to have Tommy cut the date short because of how unready he seemed. WHICH BY THE WAY, TOMMY AGAIN COMMUNICATED SO BEAUTIFULLY WITH BUCK AND PROCEEDED TO STILL CALL THIS MAN ADORABLE. HE CALLED HIM ADORABLE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

Buck accidently outed himself to Maddie because he was doing a ramble ramble about his lil buck'ed up date.

Buck told Eddie he was on a date with Tommy, and Eddie proceeded to be the bestie of besties to Buck and told him, they all loved him anyways. HE USED THE WORDS. Bucks face in that scene will forever make my lil gay heart WEEP.

Buck told Eddie he couldn't stop thinking about the hot pilot that kissed him. CRYING.

Buck proceeded to grow the fuck up and apologised to Tommy, face to face, out in a public space, knowing full well that Tommy could have dropped his ass there and then, but still wanted to show him how sorry he was, and that he was, in fact, ready.

BUCK INVITED TOMMY TO BE HIS DATE TO THE MADNEY WEDDING DESPITE ONLY technically GOING ON TWO DATES. AND THEN TOMMY. SAID. YES. HE SAID YES. YES.

Buck also then invited Tommy to Chim's bachelor party, HELD HIS ARMS OPEN ACROSS THE ROOM READY FOR A HUG, told Tommy off for his outfit, showing off true Clipboard Buck form, AND THEN TOUCHED HIS PECK.

Eddie, the bestie of besties, got all sappya and jokey when he saw Tommy and Buck together.

Buck got all pouty when Tommy had to go to work, BUT TOLD HIM TO BE SAFE. HE SAID BE SAFE DAMNIT.

Buck got all goofy and smiley when he saw that Tommy had arrived at the hospital, MEANING, that he was most likely texting Tommy all day updating him on everything that was going on, even if Tommy couldn't respond while attending to the fire.

BUCK. CALLED. TOMMY. A. BEAST. HE SAID THIS CANONICALLY. ARE YOU JOKING. HE FULLY ATTACKED MY MAN, WHILE HE WAS COVERED IN SOOT AND SHIT, SNOGGED HIS FACE OFF IN A HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM, AND CALLED HIM A BEAST. I AM DECEASED.

Buck, the idiot that he is, proceeded to out himself, to his entire family, by coming back into the room, most likely 15 to 20 minutes after leaving, covered in soot because he had been uncontrollably making out with his hot pilot boyfriend.

Eddie, the bestie of besties, GOT SO FUCKING SMUG WHEN HE SAW BUCK AND TOMMY WALK BACK IN THAT ROOM. HE PULLED THE SAME FACE I PULL WHEN MY FRIENDS HAVE COME BACK FROM MAKING OUT WITH PEOPLE AND I AM HERE FOR IT. EDDIE YOU BESTIE SLAY SLAY SLAY.

Hen, the queen that she is, has most likely spoken to Karen about her suspicons of Buck's sexuality, and procceed to say ABOUT DAMN TIME. SHE KNEW THIS WHOLE TIME. HER GAYDAR IS ON FIRE. I LOVE HER.

Again, all of these events happened IN ACTUAL EPISODES, not in a fanfiction. I am FERAL over this. Bi!Buck is the best thing to ever happen to me.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk and if you don't ship BuckTommy, leave.

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

tease tidbit tuesday

tagged by @tizniz and @sibylsleaves

thanks darlins <3

here's some of my big bang fic which i can start sharing now yayyy! ive lovingly dubbed it my eddie + wanting fic

For the first time since Eddie buried himself in Buck’s neck like a child, he turns away from the other man in shame.

Buck makes some kind of noise, a little hurt whine that makes Eddie’s heart shrivel up in his chest, but Buck doesn’t say anything and he doesn’t try to get Eddie to look at him again. He just gets up from the table and pads softly to the kitchen then comes back with a full glass of water which he sets down in front of Eddie.

Eddie swallows thickly and smacks his lips a little, suddenly so terribly aware of the dryness of his mouth. This small act–the tender care of it and the show of how well Buck knows him–is enough to get Eddie to lift his weary eyes and gather enough strength to twist his expression into a question.

“Drink,” Buck says quietly, gesturing to the glass with a wave of his finger. “Crying like that–I know how thirsty it can make you.”

He doesn’t know how Buck does it. How does he say something so simple but so meaningful? How does he acknowledge what he witnessed without making Eddie feel horrible or pathetic while also letting Eddie know that he’s not alone?

If there were any tears left in him, they would tumble out now, probably in even bigger sobs, all catastrophic and heaving, but there’s none, so Eddie just nods and picks up the glass.

The stark, brisk cold smoothness of the water against his dry, tattered mouth is so good. Eddie drinks and drinks and drinks, large gulps that make his lungs burn because he can barely breathe.

“Slow,” Buck admonishes.

Eddie obeys, grateful for the care but more so for the orders, because at the very least that’s something he can do, he can follow orders and at the end of the day he just wants someone to tell him what to do so he doesn’t have to decide, so he doesn’t have the option of fucking up.

tagging @elvensorceress @spaceprincessem @shitouttabuck @canonbibuck @bibuddie @bvckandeddie @devirnis @spotsandsocks @loserdiaz @bi-buckrights @monsterrae1 @lemonzestywrites @try-set-me-on-fire @lover-of-mine @sunshinediaz @jeeyuns @spagheddiediaz @transboybuckley @traumabuddies @saybiwithme @messyhairdiaz @bekkachaos @fiona-fififi @butchdiaz @bigfootsmom and anyone else who wants to share!

[hippolotamus]

Tease Tidbit Tuesday 💔⚾️

Hello loves! Words haven’t been wording and, well, this weekend has been a Time™️.

Today I finally have some words to share! Yay! I appreciate all the tags and love everything you’re creating and sharing 🫶 Tagged for TTT by @tizniz @your-catfish-friend @wikiangela Thank you lovelies! 💖

Some TSoA coma!Eddie for Purple and Tanis

Once again it’s just the two of them, Buck and his husband. Well, them, a mess of medical equipment, and the cacophony of nurses and doctors sweeping around the ward.

He traces the lines again where Eddie’s ring should be. Hates the way they aren’t as prominent or masked by the silicon version they both wear on shift.

Buck scoots forward, leaning over to place a kiss on Eddie’s temple, just at the hairline.

“Come back, baby. Please. I can’t do this without you.”

—————

I’m here. I’m right here!

Eddie wants to scream, cry. Anything to soothe his husband. But he can’t. It’s dark and he’s trapped, unable to do anything except be tortured by the sounds and sensations of Buck’s heart breaking alongside his own.

And more Weather and Time for beloved husband

Eddie almost turns the game off, but decides the silence would be worse. At least this way he can play living room umpire, criticizing every shitty ball or hit that should’ve been a strike the D-backs get away with.

“Dammit!” He curses, watching Rangers left fielder, number 32, stumble like he just learned to walk and drop a pop fly in the final inning. Carter rushes to recover even though it’s too late. Two more Arizona players make it home, winning the game by a single run. Eddie’s singular comfort is that it’s only the first of a three game series.

He flicks the television off and takes the empty bottles to the sink.

Does Evan still watch at all? Probably not. It was only something he ever put up with because Eddie liked to. And maybe because Eddie would edge him during commercial breaks, enjoying the increasingly desperate whimpers and moans. How Evan would dig his nails into the underside of his thighs, nearly sobbing if there was overtime.

np tagging @actuallyitsellie @epicbuddieficrecs @loveyouanyway @a-noble-dragon @mountedeverest @fortheloveofbuddie @weewootruck @saybiwithme mi amor @bidisasterevankinard @shipperqueen6 @ramonaflow @taketheplanspinitsideways @spotsandsocks @dangerpronebuddie @theotherbuckley @stereopticons @kitteneddiediaz @mrs-f-darcy @daffi-990 @diazsdimples @drowsy-quill @thekristen999 @filet-o-feelings @underwaterninja13 LOML @lizzie-bennetdarcy @rainbow-nerdss @steadfastsaturnsrings @inell @wildlife4life @jesuisici33 @rmd-writes @shortsighted-owl @queerbuckleys @bi-buckrights @elvensorceress @bucksbiawakening @giddyupbuck @hoodie-buck @indestructibleheart @ladydorian05 @lemonzestywrites @monsterrae1 @statueinthestone @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @the-likesofus @thewolvesof1998 @vanillahigh00 @watchyourbuck @welcometololaland and anyone else who wants to 😘

[strangestofthings12]

This is going to be a very rambling and venty post cause im tired and annoyed and honestly am just using this to vent my anger/hurt. there is going to be stuff that can maybe be seen as anti tommy/bucktommy (please dont tell me a ship name to put i dont care about if they do have an agreed upon ship name right now) so if you dont want that please just move on. i dont want to fight i just want to yell into the void on a stupid throw away account so i dont bring my negativity stew and come out on my main blog where i just want to enjoy my stuff and just keep happy energy. I dont normally post and try and just find someone who explains it better because im not great and getting what im saying across or understood the way i want, so please bear with me. With that said i will move on to what i want to say

Okay so i have been watching 9-1-1 for years and i love and adore it. Its characters and dynamics and i have always loved found family. Now i will admit that i started watching it thinking that Buck and Eddie were a couple and had a son so i was kinda watching for it. Do i think if i didn't start watching thinking that i would ship them still yes 100%. I have always loved their relationship and i have loved watching both Buck and Eddie grow and start to be happy while also having each others back even at the worst times. Sometimes if i think to hard about Eddie and start crying cause I'm very normal about this show and it characters. Now Eddie is my favorite character in the show and at least in my top five overall favorite characters. I love him and his development and i adore seeing how much he does to just do right by Chris even when he messes up you can tell how much he adores that boy and how badly he wants to give Chris the best life possible. I could write essays about Eddie Diaz trying to explain how much i love him and why and i think words would run out before i could finish making people understand. Buddie is my favorite ship (sometimes second depending on my mood. i would say sorry but Henren and Madney will always be amazing ships and sometimes i just cant stop think about them)(Sorry Bathena i love you too i swear i just cant decide if i wanna kiss athena or be adopted by bobby and athena:( Its confusing) and has been for quite awhile and is one of my overall favorites and its one of my comfort ships.

With that context when bi Buck happened i was so insanely happy and i wouldnt shut up about it. it made me sick. i was so happy for Buck and while i think a part of me will always be a little sad Eddie wasnt his first kiss with a guy i dont think either of them are ready for that. i also understand that it wouldnt make sense for how the story is going right now. Now i have nothing against bucktommy in the show. I have watched the kiss scene and sobbed to much to pretend like i hate them or even dislike them. However I genuinely dont care about Tommy. Hes kinda bland and i forget about him half the time and before they brought him back i completely forgot his name. in my mind he was the one that wasnt as much of an asshole to chim and hen as the other two assholes which wasnt saying a lot. Now I dont dislike tommy nor am i going to act like hes irredeemable because neither Chim nor Hen seem to think hes still that guy and while they dont seem super close they seem to get along so clearly, he's not like that anymore. I have nothing that makes me dislike him nor do I like him. He's just there. He's just the guy buck kissed. Thats all he means to me. I would give up his screen time for Ravi or May or Karen in a heartbeat. because i love them cause they mean something to me. I don't think i thought about the fact that people might actually like him especially not more than EDDIE.

This is where the context matters cause i am to my core a one ship per person girly. I might see a ship and people who like it and even think thats not a terrible ship but i will still only look at content for my ship for that person (ie. i ship Destiel (dont say anything bad about them ill cry<3) but i can see the way someone would also ship Dean and Benny or crowley or Cas and Crowley or Mick but i will ignore the ship and move on and look at more Dean and Cas). normally i will just ignore the ship and move on because im not who its for. If it gets annoying in my tag or anything like that ill block it or whoever is annoying me cause its not a them problem that i dont want to see it. When i start to have a problem is when multiple people arent tagging right for whatever reason or people who are being rude about the ship i like because of their ship. When I started seeing Bucktommy stuff more and more in the 9-1-1 tag i went to the buddie tag cause i dont want to see them. my problem is that when im reading on AO3 and click on a fic tagged Buddie where bucktommy get married. it was literally just hurting Eddie. There was stuff before like id be scrolling though the buddie tag here and see someone saying that Tommy is a better character then Eddie and saying that they hope bucktommy is endgame. Whatever block and move on. Just like always but then people who have shipped buddie for years who ive seen talk about them are suddenly saying that they like bucktommy better. People who started watching because of bucktommy saying they dont like Eddie. People are going to have different opinions but it still bugged me. and then i read that and i was just hurt because it was tagged happy ending and i cannot fathom ever thinking Eddie hurting and pining is a happy ending. So i started to get more annoyed and i hate when that happens especially with a show i love and a character i dont dislike so i tried to just move on but more and more people are taking about it then i saw someone saying that they wanted eddie to die so buck and tommy can have Chris.

I just hate that so many people are jumping on the bucktommy train and saying that they like it better than buddie something that is so good and sweet or saying that they like Tommy more than Eddie. I just dont get it cause Tommy is boring. like yeah we now some about him and he flies a helicopter but hes forgettable he could be a completely different person and next to nothing would have to change. We have seen Eddie at his worst and claw his way back up and hes finally letting himself be open and honest and soft. Eddie couldnt be replaced. Now im not saying Tommy can't be an interesting character but as he is right now?? He just isnt. Hes just as bland as every women (minus Taylor and Shannon) Buck and Eddie have dated and been hated on for no reason!!! Like i get that Tommy is a guy and we got canon Bi Buck and people are happy but those same people turn around and shit on Marisol from what ive seen(I could be wrong cause again i have done my best to avoid). Buddie fans arent safe from that either, cause we all know that Buddie fans do that but so many of those people who hated on them and said they didnt want them with anyone else suddenly decided that they were okay if Buck ended up with any guy. I dont know its just weird and i hate how many people are acting like Eddie isnt always going to be better then Tommy. Part of me wanted Tommy to stick around and help Buck and Eddie figure it all out but now?? i honestly just cant wait for him to be gone cause I want to have fun and read fics for my comfort ship and just chill where i can see all of my ships in the show without buck and tommy being everywhere or people saying crap about Eddie.

I have more to say but most of its about how gratifying waiting and seeing where this whole thing goes(Buddie season 8 PLEASE!!) and this is already why to long and i think im just going in circles and none of this makes sense so ima shut up for now and hopefully this will help it not fester and drive me insane and become a tommy hater

Edit: but i also hate that Tommy calls Buck Evan so he already had some stuff against him rip

[m3r1m4r5u333]

Reasons why I keep rambling about Bi!Eddie...

Why? Why would Eddie hide his sexual identity, bisexuality? Because... why not, he thinks.

Dating only women would mean less conflict with his family. His family is religious and Eddie loves them, is scared to lose them.

Eddie also fears triggering more conflict, maybe even fears his family might not consider him a good dad anymore if he came out.

He already almost had to fight for his son's custody with them. What if he comes out and they lash out? He has a dangerous job, works ridiculous hours, is a single parent. A queer man is not every courtroom's favorite person.

So women... That's where Eddie hides, it's what he knows. It's "a safe place to hide"... because in theory, it's fine, it's comfortable. Eddie is attracted to women. So he isn't really sacrificing anything, or at least much, he thinks... Just marry a woman you love, and it's all good. No need to come out and clash with your family, or make Christopher's childhood even more of a challenge. After all, the world is still prejudiced and not all children of queer parents have it easy.

But the truth is... Closeted life isn't a cake-walk even if you avoid detection, and are sort of adjusting. You are still hiding a part of yourself. Acting. Feeling like you need to pretend. Scared and unable to be fully yourself.

I've noticed that Buddie fans keep pointing to Eddie's panic attacks as this "haha gotcha, you're GAY!"-confirmation. It's ignorant.

Did you know that panic attacks are actually not at all unusual among closeted bisexuals, either?

Masks are always suffocating, no matter what you're hiding.

Not to mention, when Eddie starts having those panic attacks, he's under a world of pressure. Trying to recover and get back to dating... Quite soon really, after losing his wife.

He's also got a mountain of trauma and PTSD after surviving several near-death- experiences. To add to the trauma, the way he experienced the shooting? He thought Buck was wounded.

And then he is pressured into asking Ana out even though it hasn't been that long since he lost his wife.

Also I'm quite sure... His heart just isn't in it, dating. I think he has actually by that point fallen for Buck. And ignores it, tries to move on, forces himself to date someone else.

Get back on a horse, even if you don't really want to, feel the need to. Doesn't matter what you like, just do it anyway! "Horses" it is. Dating it is.

So Ana and Eddie? It's a tale of unrequited love, for Eddie, and for Ana. Falling for a concept because the person you truly want is simply not invested like you are, is emotionally unavailable to you.

The anxiety builds when people keep assuming Ana is Eddie's wife or Christopher's mom. It's too soon, it feels wrong. The relationship is just a mask because Eddie hasn't actually moved on. From Shannon, or from Buck. He panics when Ana says. "I'm not his mother... I'm... just a friend."

It's a reminder that she isn't Shannon - not Christopher's mom.

And she isn't Buck either. Buck who isn't really Christopher's father, who is... just a friend.

And like Buck... Ana is becoming Eddie's ready-made family anyway. Actually the third ready-made family, really. Shannon, Buck, Ana... All happened without much room to stop and re-consider.

Shannon... A rushed shotgun marriage triggered by an unplanned pregnancy and catholic guilt.

Buck, (a seemingly) straight friend quickly becoming family - clearly a dead end romance-wise.

Ana... A rushed, pressured romance built out of need to forcibly move on, and find a step-mom for Chris. Three ready-made families, all destroying Eddie in different ways. Anxiety, inner turmoil, panic.

....

So. Eddie's bisexuality!!!

That ice skating scene in "Malfunction"? The episode is very Eddie-centric, and the theme is "Me a tough macho man, me trust nobody, ugh!"

There's Eddie's fight club clusterfuck, his argument with Lena about Eddie being emotionally distant. Eddie, crying in front of Bobby about his grief, about Shannon leaving because Eddie "broke" her, because he wasn't enough...

Eddie = Trust issues galore, abandoment issues galore. Persistent shame and guilt making him unable to go for anything he really wants. Avoidance. Hidden pain. Constant urge to be in control, and never slip.

So let's look at that ice skating scene in "Malfunction"...

It's a blood bath on ice. Figure skaters toe-picking and getting injured, all because of one fallen sequin on ice triggering a domino effect. Bobby knows to look for a sequin because he's got some experience with this stuff.

Chimney: So how come you know so much about figure skating?

Eddie: Always thought you were a hockey player, cap.

...

Bobby: Who says you can't do both?!

(They team is shocked. Buck says "We'll google for photos later"

Chimney waves his hand around like he agrees... But in a way that ends up looking like he's pointing at Buck AND Eddie. And Hen then throws this shocked lingering stare at Buck and Eddie, like she just realised something!)

...Who says you can't do both? Indeed... Is there some secret quota, unknown to me, that dictates how many bi characters a tv show can have?

Is there a law that a queer male ship must always be the sum of one bi male, one male gay character? Why do we expect that? Because it would be more diverse, more varied representation?

Correct me if I've got this wrong... But writing Eddie as gay would in fact not score the show more diversity points, not in the realm of 9-1-1.

The show STARTS OFF with a storyline about a closeted, married gay man! If Eddie was gay... It would be the show's second storyline about a closeted, married gay man. That's not diverse representation. That would be in fact... quite repetitive, unimaginative queer representation!

Also, let's keep in mind that the show already has several gay male characters by the time Eddie joins the team.

Michael! David! Josh! That's already three gay men. If Eddie was gay, Eddie would be the fourth gay male character.

Oh wait. Tommy. So... FIFTH one! Also there are even more strictly gay monosexuals: Two lesbians. Hen and Karen.

However, there are just two confirmed bi character so far. Buck and Eva.

So really, Who says you can't "do both"?

Who says both of these characters can't be interested in women and men, into more genders than one? Who says both Buck and Eddie can't be bi?

"We're everywhere, man." That's Eddie's line in that scene, gif below. (And pink+yellow balloons, blue gloves? Pansexual-coded colors. Multisexuality!)

Eddie, subtly illuminated in bi-coded colors. Blue, purple, pink... On a date with a woman.

Talking with Buck. Bi-coded lighting.

Oh look, what's behind Eddie? The famous bi-cycle. While he talks about "the menu" not being the issue...

"The sex was never the issue", with Shannon. Canonically they actually went at it like bunnies, even to the detriment of their relationship because they failed to talk due to being too distracted by each other's bodies.

"The "menu" is not the issue." And it's not with Marisol, either. Not until Eddie learns of her hyper religious past.

Confronting Marisol, a former nun-student? That's the issue here, that's what Eddie's trying to avoid. Confronting his obviously at least at one point very religious, quite possibly bigoted girlfriend...?? Would certainly be an issue, if you're bi!!! Who wants to date a bigot?! Your very own domestic hate crime.

So... Eddie talks about the upcoming alone time with Marisol (when Chris was away) feeling exciting, naughty... Until he learns she was almost a NUN!

He talks about "eyes on the ground". And that's what dating a fundamentalist would be, if you're bi and closeted. Eyes on the ground, close to you.

Suddenly being judged for same-sex attraction is no longer just a distant fear, a vague idea to Eddie, it's a living, breathing person in his home, in his bed.

Really, imagine dating a bigot. Imagine your partner being disgusted, disturbed, judgemental... by your sexuality, your identity, your desires, dreams. Imagine them being repulsed by such an fundamental, persistent part of what makes you... you. Something you cannot change.

Imagine sometimes fantasizing about men as well as women, and then... trying to have sex with someone... who you suspect might consider your secret fantasy life disgusting, wrong. Imagine that negative reaction if they knew the whole truth, who you really are?!

An efficient boner killer, for sure!! No wonder Eddie is suddenly avoiding her company, anxious by the idea of sex with her. He doesn't trust Marisol anymore.

Also, let's talk about Eddie and moving on.

Why going home is an issue. Leaving Buck's place is an issue. Because trying to move on? Those words just need a melody, and ta-dah it's the Eddie Diaz theme song. The story of his life. The concept just keeps coming up.

Moving on. Being unable to move on.

Quite frankly, I think this is the main reason why Eddie cannot date without freaking out.

When Eddie joins the team he's still stuck on Shannon. "They weren't my type." Less awkward than to say "Sure they were hot, but I do have an estranged wife."

Shannon was his first crush, love, his first everything. The mother of his child. His friend. But they were young, not ready to get married and have a child, especially one with special needs. They were pushed to do that anyway when Shannon suddenly got pregnant, unplanned.

Btw, may I just point out that they're already under a lot of pressure and struggling when we first see them together on the show?

What we miss out on seeing... are the times when things were still great! That creates a limited, tinted view of their romance, and warps our entire view of their relationship. When we first see Eddie and Shannon, their relationship is already quite fractured, and falling apart.

Doesn't mean it always was bad.

Inability to work together. That eventually destroyed their relationship. Both failed to listen to each other, to be a team. Their love died because their mutual trust and respect died.

Eddie couldn't handle sudden parenthood, sudden marriage (and catholics truly expect forever), Christopher's cp diagnosis. He enlisted, escaped to the army. Shannon couldn't handle the guilt, thinking the cp was her fault. They fought all the time. Eddie let his parents meddle with Christopher's upbringing, walk over Shannon. He refused to listen to her when she wanted to move to another city. Eddie avoided bonding with Chris.

So when Eddie got home from the war-zone, she left. Eddie was suddenly alone with Chris. And Shannon was gone for a long time. Her leaving, it was a shock to the system. Eddie no longer trusted her, she'd abandoned him, and more importantly, abandoned Chris.

So Eddie is struggling. Alone. Hurt.

And then... Eddie meets Buck, who is ridiculously helpful. Buck is someone Eddie can count on. They're almost instantly a team.

So Eddie moves on from Shannon, and falls for Buck. From that point on? There is no real room for others. From then on it's just barely discreet heart-eyes at Buck, and Eddie not truly wanting to date anyone (else).

Eddie doesn't really want to get back together with Shannon when she returns. The sex is still great, that was never the issue, they both agree on that one thing...

But she was simply gone for too long, she even says this. It's obvious. Eddie has adjusted to life without her, found a new focus, moved on from her.

For example when we see Eddie, Buck and Chris visit Santa? Eddie talks about Shannon to Buck in this almost anxious way, like he feels the need to explain himself to Buck, like he's been cheating on Buck. Buck then calls Eddie "brother", and Eddie's face, just for a moment... Falls. He looks disturbed, disappointed, to be called "brother".

Eddie tries to mend the relationship with Shannon. It's obviously out of a sense of duty (catholic guilt, marriage should last, divorce is wrong), he keeps waiting for a "sign", keeps ducking her questions, pushing her away, keeps dragging his feet. His heart is no longer in it. Shannon realises this, wants to break up.

And then she dies. Eddie grieves. Feels guilt for failing to salvage the marriage. And then Eddie is just... stuck. Unable to move on, from grieving Shannon, from the guilt caused by their failed marriage, from Buck. Tries to force himself to move on. Fails. Keeps dying inside.

Heart's already taken.

.....

There are so many talks about moving on after that. Seemingly they are all about Shannon, and I do think they are about Shannon...

Just not... entirely. After all, Eddie didn't really want to get back together with her, did he now. We see them fighting, a lot. Their relationship wasn't dancing on roses, there were serious problems.

So the talks about moving on are also about Buck. Buck, who Eddie thinks is straight, yet parenting Chris with him. They become close, are seen doing all sorts of domestic family stuff.

What a painful existence would that be, to raise your child with someone whom you love and desire, but who you think cannot ever return your feelings? Who wants that? Of course Eddie would want to move on!!

Then shit happens... And Eddie clearly just... spirals without Buck. Partakes in illegal fights to let off steam. Yells at Buck at a grocery store about "not being around, Christopher missing him..". They end up looking like a couple in the middle of a messy divorce.

People, including Buck, pressure Eddie into dating. Buck keeps dating women. Eddie... keeps having talks about moving on.

Looks totally dead as he tells Buck that he needs to move on, Eddie has. It's an obvious lie, and it's such a bizarre thing to say to a friend, no matter the circumstances - very relationship-coded.

Almost like Eddie was just desperate to voice those words out loud, wishing that saying them would turn them into reality. Move on, I have!! (Move on, stop approaching me, stop tormenting me like this.)

....

So move on, Eddie...

....

There's Buck, urging Eddie to ask Ana out.

......

Bobby, telling Eddie that he will always miss the family he once had, but he loves the new one he now has. So you should try moving on, Eddie!

.......

Eddie's doctor... suggesting he could be repressing things.

The talk with the doctor;

They're talking about the shooting... Until it sounds like Eddie isn't.

Eddie: I don't even think about him anymore.

Doc: That could be called repression.

Eddie: Or just... moving forward.

Then some more subtext about pining. Remember Buck... being compared to a golden retriever?

Remember the man who cornered himself on a roof? Whining that he always wanted a dog but mom wouldn't let him because "Barry was allergic!"... (Or maybe, queerphobic?)

.....

Ana: There's a lot to be said for getting back on the horse. But there's also value in learning that you don't like "horses".

Eddie: I'm sorry?

....

Carla, telling Eddie to follow his heart, not Christopher's.... (Edit. Btw, look up the pictures of those hearts, I can't add more pictures to this post.There's Buck's silly, happy "misunderstood the assignment" love-type heart symbol... The one Chris drew, the one Carla warns against following?

Dead-looking, clinical, anatomical. And it's drawn with bisexual-flag colors!!!!

Love can't be about logic and rationality, reasoning with yourself and finding a good enough match. Even if on paper it makes sense. Love needs to be an emotion. It needs to make you happy.)

.....

The first day Buck and Eddie meet:

Buck is taking selfies.

Eddie: You're in the wrong lighting, man.

Buck: Some of us don't need lighting to look good!

And...

Years later... At the dark firestation, Eddie looking at Buck, getting lost on his memory lane, forgetting to introduce Ana.

Ana: Even in the dark this place is amazing! (The parallel to "Some of us don't need lighting to look good.")

And Eddie panics.

(*panicking, looking between Ana and Buck*)

Eddie: I don't want these things to wilt!

.....

After that... Eddie, looking at Buck:

Somehow we became a ready-made family, and I... I don't know if I'm ready for that.

(and how could he be ready for that, he thought Buck was straight.)

.....

Eddie talking with his tía, learning that she's been married twice, not just once, like Eddie always thought.

Eddie, learning that she had been unable to move on from the first husband, and didn't feel ready to date... But her friends had dragged out anyway, and that's when she had met her second husband-to-be.

And it was this, meeting someone else, that made her move on. So Eddie forces himself to date, thinking that all he needs to do is meet the right person, and he'll finally move on.

.....

The scene with Marisol, setting her bag on Eddie's hallway table.

Checking that it's not falling off... because there is barely enough space for Marisol to set down her belongings.

The table is already full. There's a toy truck on it, which BUCK gave Chris, years ago,

and it takes so much room.

It's lit, under a lamp, in the center of a table, the first thing you see when you enter Eddie's home. A prized little thing, a treasure. It's clearly valued, spotlighted like art... Even though a toy like that? Would not be very expensive.

Still, it's clearly something Eddie cherishes. Chris is no longer a little kid, he doesn't play with toys like that. But the truck stays, it's something Eddie wants to keep looking at. And it's huge, centered, leaves little room for something else.

Eddie is pining!!!!

Whether he realises it or not... This man is in love, that's why his relationships feel so suffocating, why they keep failing. His heart is already taken. His romantic relationships are just glued on, they're pretense, acting, a desperate attempt to move on, from Buck.

[tozierlvr]

per the last thing i reblogged, i just needed to sit down and write a full response because i'm very used to seeing homophobia and transphobia in this fandom, but never in such a pointed and frankly, aggressive way. so let's get started, may we?

first, to talk about the eddie thing:

the way people have feminized eddie is criticized because eddie, as a character, is not feminine or flamboyant, he's just small. and on this topic- he's also feminized and headcanoned as "the bottom" as you so kindly put it because of the biker shorts he wears in it chapter one. that has always rubbed me the wrong way, because he's not feminine or "slutty" for that, he's fucking thirteen. the costumer dressed him like a thirteen year old boy. but people sexualize it like crazy.

then, saying that people make eddie the "macho top" to avoid that stereotype is wild. i, for one, have never seen eddie portrayed as "macho" and i have scoured tumblr and ao3 for portrayals like this, and i haven't found anything like this. i also don't know why you had to bring up their sexual positions in this argument. why are you fucking mad about this? sounds like someone doesn't understand gay sex dynamics!

now, i just want to know why you think "the worst possible way" for someone to be feminized is by making them bottom and by hc-ing them as a transgender woman?

this comes off as transphobic and homophobic to be honest, and i just don't understand why you felt the need to say this.

also, i thought the headcanons stemmed from people trying not to feed into the feminine eddie headcanons- so how would they stem from richie crying in it chapter two? you're right that this is the proper response to someone you love dying, but i have never, ever seen somebody cite just this as an example of richie being overly emotional. i've actually never seen somebody say that period. but if we're comparing him to eddie, when you look at like, you know, the BOOK, richie probably is the more emotional one.

but none of this matters anyway, because these headcanons don't stem from either of those things. sometimes, people just like headcanoning a character as a certain thing because they either see coding that way or maybe they just see it for some reason. a lot of people point to the werewolf imagery and plotline as an allegory for richie maybe being transgender. and to me, that makes a lot of sense. but you don't have to think that, and it's okay if you don't. but saying that the headcanon is being forced upon the fandom? that's just weird.

moving on:

there is not bisexual evidence for richie tozier in the novel, or even really gay coding. :)

i also know that you haven't read the book, so i don't know what source material you're referring to.

the only canon sexuality we have for richie tozier is straight (book) and gay (movies). obviously, you can headcanon him as bi. there's nothing wrong with that. but interpreting the character richie tozier from specifically it chapter two as bisexual IS gay erasure. because he is not bi. he is gay. in that adaptation.

also, you sound so weird saying "ignoring the complexity of his character" in regards to people hc-ing him as gay. being a gay kid raised in the 50s/80s (depending on version) is incredibly fucking complex. i don't know what you're talking about here. this argument is stupid.

i hope you do some more delving into queer identity before you come back to tumblr, dude. maybe a break will do you good.

[skarkkk]

I can't stop thinking about 911 ep4 and I need to freak out. So I'm going to freak out here so that other people freak out too, because my god, that ep is perfect.

First point: Bi Buck

My happiness to finally have this, to have Buck truly be part of the Canon community is limitless. Like, can you imagine how important this representation is to people in real life? A man in his 30s, a "macho" firefighter who until then had only had relationships with women, discovering that he can like guys, that he liked kissing a man. I can literally imagine how Buck might feel about this and the whole coming out and accepting yourself part. Because he is an ally and he is an incredible man, but imagine living with parents like that, growing up not knowing that part of yourself and that whole "this is not a phase, this is who I am" part and him accepting that. Because Buck has always been someone more sensitive to his own emotions and I hope this is portrayed in his self-discovery and, God, I need him to finally be happy being who he is. Being Buck. I want him talking to the team and realizing that he doesn't need acceptance from other people (the world) when he has their real family. I want Maddie's reaction because since season 2 she had already told us that Buck wasn't straight (even if they were jokes). I want everything Buck deserves to truly feel good and happy.

Second point: Buddie

I want them, I need them. But not this season. I think people think so much about finally having them together that sometimes they don't really think about how (me, for example, in my outbursts). But Buddie needs to be developed calmly and even more carefully. Because it's not just about friends to lovers, there's a whole background. It's not just them getting together because, imagine finding out you like guys too, then you realize you're in love with your best friend and how do you deal with that when everything is so new?

I want them to be canon more than anything, I need it and I'll probably die if it really happens. Buddie had a long development process, from the beginning of their friendship until this season. Because they are best friends and even went through the divorce phase. They raise a child together, Buck is Chris's father and their jealousy towards each other was clear. The worry, the care, the protection, the anger, the affection, they felt so much and I think a rushed start to their romantic relationship would ruin everything because they really need to feel it. That emotion of "I love him and I won't hurt him again", because these boys are a disaster. I think the process of them going from best friends to lovers will be confusing, especially because Buck would probably be terrified at the idea of being in love with his best friend and ruining everything between them again (the process) and Eddie wouldn't know how to deal with the his first bi crush being the person he cares about most (after Chris). Like, I need them, but not this season. I want them next time, I want their relationship to be built with sensitivity and not with loose ends. Not in the process of their self-discovery, because while I can imagine how sweet it would be for them to have all their first times (minus Buck's first bi kiss, because we have Tommy) together, I can imagine how wrong it could go. Like, I don't know, buddies have always been full of emotions and intense scenes and I want that in their relationship.

Another point about Buddie is that I want it to happen, yes, but my priority is Buck and Eddie's happiness, even if that means they don't stay together, you know. I would cry, a lot, and live on fanfics, but I don't want something forced between them, because I love how everything always seems spontaneous in their friendship and I want a romantic relationship like that, you know.

Third point: Tommy

I love this man. Like, I wasn't the biggest fan in eps begins, but I never hated him. I've loved the actor since I met him in SWAT and I love that he (and Olives, obv) are willing to play LGBT characters. The point itself is that I want Tommy to gain focus too, both as a member of the 118 family and as Buck's love interest.

I have theories and I've read theories (in fics) about why he was that way in eps begins and I can understand. I don't remember exactly what happened because my memory is terrible, but think about it. He, like Eddie, was part of the army (and we love gay stories between soldiers but we know how they can be in real life), and was under the release of a captain who had prejudices, yes. We don't know about his past, his family (at least I don't, besides fanfics) so the probabilities of why he was repressed and followed the old captain's orders are several. The one that holds me the most is fear and possibly internalized homophobia. In the army, we imagine people who don't break and who can handle whatever comes at them, and speaking of men in the armies, they are not seen as sensitive (stereotypes), and this is how the community tends to be seen by homophobes and the like. Now imagine a bi guy coming out of the closet and imagine the reaction. Another point is the old captain and how Tommy seems to want to be part of the 118 family (now), so I can imagine that he repressed himself to be part of the old "family" (not that I see them as family, because they weren't).

Talking about him now, I love how sweet this man seems to be. In the sense of understanding, we saw that he has that sarcastic and smart-ass bone that the whole team has (I love the scene of them going after Bathena). And the fact that he really worried about Buck and the possibility of ruining their friendship (Buck and Eddie), the kindness of the kiss (my god, I can't forget that kiss). I can really imagine Tommy being a guy who would understand Buck's discovery process, who wouldn't react badly to being the first man, the experiment (as I've read in fics). I think he would understand that Buck really has feelings for him (because we can't deny that the sparkle in Buck's eyes is there when he looks at Tommy) and that he's willing to really try something with a man even if he's scared (I hope, amen ). I think Tommy is the right guy to be Buck's first. And he knows 118 (to a point) and they're friendly, Eddie likes him, Chris likes him, and Chris and Eddie have strong opinions about people (the team too, of course, but talking about family Buddie, romantic or not between Eddie and Buck ). So Tommy already has the approval of the people most important to Buck, this already proves that he is a good person.

I want more of Tommy (god, I love this man)

Fourth point: Tuck (what's the name of their ship???)

I want to see a stable, healthy relationship between Buck and Tommy. I loved their chemistry, their kiss. And like I said, Tommy seems like the right guy for Buck's first times with a man. I think their relationship would be really cute to watch, both as a couple and in the process of developing it. Buck doesn't have a very good history with encounters, because he always tends to get hurt from them. I want it not to be like that with Tommy, I want them both to feel comfortable and to be really happy with each other. (I would love a Karen/Hen style scene in the ep where they get together for the first time).

I wouldn't mind at all if they were endgame (of course, again, I'd cry for Buddie, but I'd love it). I wonder if Buck will take him as his date to Maddie's wedding (because that would be a confirmation of their relationship, you know). I keep imagining so many possibilities for meetings and scenes between the two of them (as long as both actors feel comfortable, of course. Again, I love them.)

Now, if it's not endgame, there has to be an amicable ending, one that doesn't hurt either of them and they remain friends. Because I think it would be really sweet to see their friendships continue. The most important thing if the breakup happens (... I really hope not, despite Buddie) and that they don't put a woman as Buck's date next time and simply forget about his sexuality, treat it as just another open thing, he knows.

In short, I need more of them because I can't stop thinking about them

Fifth point: ep5

I have a lot of thoughts about what we've received so far.

First, the meeting. I think people are dismissive of Buck's reaction to both Eddie arriving and "it's my first date with a guy" because, firstly, I think it's important for Buck to feel comfortable. Imagine being so nervous about not doing shit, wanting to feel comfortable and good about being on a date with a man you like romantically and then your best friend (who thinks you're straight) walks up with his girlfriend. I hope Tommy understands that Buck didn't mean to treat him disrespectfully or that he didn't want the date, because we know that's not what it's about. I hope there's another date, one where Buck feels comfortable relaxing without the pressure of being with people you know because he's still discovering himself, and he needs to feel comfortable for that to happen without him feeling bad about it. , he knows.

Second, the strangulation. I love that Buck gets hurt anyway, but what gets me the most is Tommy's reaction. Because he wasn't there the other times (the plane, the bread, Lola, the truck, the tsunami, the shooter, the post-Daniel fire, the lightning. And those are the times I remember he almost died) when Buck almost died (and in the case of lightning, he died) or got hurt and I want to see how he will feel about the person he likes (because love still seems too early, again, I want it to be treated with sensitivity, not rush) getting hurt . I want to see him going after Buck and being careful and having a sincere conversation about the first date (we don't know how long it took from the date to the call) and feelings, and then I want a kiss and Tommy taking care of Buck (because this man doesn't know how to take care of himself).

I think that's it, actually. Of course, I still want to freak out a lot more.

Another point not related to Buck is Ravi. I loved that he was back (even if just a little). First, I loved his curls. Second, I loved his interaction with Buck and Eddie and him having no idea what's going on. I really want Ravi to be a main character, I want focus on him and his story. Like, I can only imagine what it's like to live your childhood with cancer and then become a firefighter and his trauma with the pier (traumas don't end that easily). Anyway, I want to focus on Ravi and more of him with Chimney (I love the brothers' relationship). I also want him having a romantic interest in someone (May or Albert, please) and him being pan (even more unlikely, but I can dream.

And I love the headcanon that Ravi thought Buddie were divorced, or that they were a couple so I want to see his reaction to Buck with Tommy.

Bonus: I don't remember the script exactly, but there's also the apparent scene where Eddie tells Buck to call Tommy (I think). So two points, Tommy wasn't an idiot because then Eddie wouldn't tell Buck to call him. And Eddie supports the two of them - if you take it in the sense that Eddie is supporting knowing that it was a romantic date, not a guy date. Or encouraging a friend to make peace with another.

And I'm pan, and probably ace, and probably bi gender too, so I know a little about the community, in case anyone thinks I'm just another straight guy talking without having any idea what he's saying, you know.

And that. For now.

[buckera]

Someone needs to tell tim about relationship-baiting because no it's not really queerbaiting but if he didn't/doesn't intend on going anywhere with how he wrote them, it could feel like relationship-baiting to fans. Especially now that he's going a different way even though he *could* go with buddie on abc. He knows exactly if he gave a definite no on buddie, a lot of people would stop watching. So him saying hey I gave you those scenes just to make you happy felt... :/ not good. He has every right to do what he wants with his characters but yeah that was a weird thing to say

okay, I am absolutely not trying to be mean here, but this is such a stupid way of looking at it.

1) relationship baiting? could've gone that way? we got bi Buck confirmed after 7 seasons. I'm sorry if that's not a good enough of a story for you, because it doesn't involve being attracted to Eddie. it is strategically and storytelling-wise more expandable, interesting and provides a better base for an eventual buddie storyline if that's the direction they want to go into than getting them together straight off the bat.

we got authentic, good bi rep without having the character feminised to fit a stereotypical queer role on TV. it's a huge fucking deal. so what if you have to wait for buddie a bit longer? does that mean it's never gonna happen? cuz how is that baiting if that's what we get in the long run?

and even if we don't get it, it's not bait to show two male friends being close after spending about 100+ hours a week together and going through trauma after trauma together. it doesn't have to be romantic. it can be. it doesn't have to be.

2) wanting to make the fans happy by giving them their most favourite guys finally hanging out and having fun and giving moments of them being so close again? yeah, I don't see how that's weird, I'm sorry. Tim knows we love them and that we love to see them together; giving us scenes with them is a kindess on his part and is clearly something that makes fans happy, if not being able to see a single scene of 2-minute of them singing was enough to warrant actual death threats??

Tim is out there doing something for the fans and you guys are crying about it and poking holes at his words. this is why we're not getting shit. and ngl if people get louder and meaner, I full on won't blame Tim to not go there with buddie at all, cuz why would he reward that behaviour?

watch the show. enjoy what we get cuz we've been getting A LOT of good stuff this season. major television history stuff actually. we are renewed for another season. stop rushing shit. if the story goes there, it'll be because it'll make sense. just be grateful for once, I beg.

[bidisasterevankinard]

Fuck it Friday

I have a goal to end I want to dance with you tonight (and for the rest of my life) till Saturday and post so more from it

“Make love to me, Tommy.”

The prettiest smile on Tommy’s face, makes Buck smile too. Careful hands grab his hips again tonight, with less hot burning lust, yet not less passion and with way more tenderness, almost not touching his naked skin above the pants, not trying to claim his skin, but trying to make him feel the desire and care from Tommy, which Buck knows boils in man’s blood. He feels it all too. Both his and Tommy’s. He hopes the man feels his too.

The hands move to his thighs, nudging him to let Tommy pull him up, moving Buck's legs so that they are around his waist. Tommy strokes his legs gently and Buck is covered in goosebumps at how good it feels even when there is a thin layer of sweatpants between Tommy's big and warm hands and his skin. 

They kiss all the way to Tommy’s bedroom, and Buck is really happy it’s not a big house, with a bedroom close to the living room, without any stairs they need to get over to make it to bed. 

and if you want some angst for my new bucktommy mpreg fic I started today, go under cut(the scene is godfather Eddie and baby Sky, but bucktommy mentioned and implied) (@houseofevanbuckley you was interesting so tagging you)

“Hey, sweetheart, it’s your godfather Eddie,” Eddie smiles, looking into the baby blue eyes. He knows they will get only darker and brighter like her daddies’. He is just interested if her eyes will be like Buck’s electric blue, or Tommy’s intense steel blue. Buck once read a long lecture about how he and his boyfriends had different blue eyes and his daughter better take as much from him as she could because he's the one pregnant and he would ground her if she’s Tommy’s mini copy. 

Eddie chuckles from the thought, with wet eyes, “he was joking, by the way, sweetheart. Your daddy will never make you do anything you don’t want to. And will never punish you for something that just can't be your fault. He loves you anyway. The way you are. And no matter what your eyes’ color is gonna be anyway it will be perfect like you already are. Perfect little princess .” 

He strokes little round cheek, leaving a light kiss there, trying hard not to cry. He should be stronger for his friends, for Tommy, for Sky, for Buck. He should be the rock of the family right now. Because Tommy, Sky and Buck need him. Buck was protector of him and Chris for a lot of time, it’s Eddie’s time to be protector of Buck’s family. Be the best godfather ever possible. 

“I know we should have met not like that,” Eddie whispers through a lump in the throat, “your daddy and papa should have introduced you to me officially, letting me hold you after they will take you together from the hospital. But, unfortunately, your daddy's dumb luck struck again, but,” Eddie lets the most beautiful baby girl clutch his finger in a firm grip. He grins at this, kissing her hand like a true princess, “your daddy is a fighter. The strongest man I know. He will fight to get back to you and your papa. And till then I will be here to make sure your papa takes care of himself. Because I know he will take the best care of you. But not himself.”

tagged by @tizniz @diazsdimples @bi-buckrights 💙

Tagging @wikiangela @watchyourbuck @rainbow-nerdss @rogerzsteven @elvensorceress @ebdaydreamer @eddiebabygirldiaz @evanbi-ckley @the-likesofus @thewolvesof1998 @theotherbuckley @underwaterninja13 @pirrusstuff @aspecbuddie @saybiwithme @spaceprincessem @spotsandsocks @devirnis @dangerpronebuddie @daffi-990 @fortheloveofbuddie @honestlydarkprincess @hippolotamus @jesuisici33 @cal-daisies-and-briars @bibuckbuckley @bigfootsmom @bewilderedbuckley @bekkachaos @neverevan @monsterrae1 and anyone who wants to

[artiststarme]

Bye Bi Steve Part 2

The long awaited second part to the "Bye Bi Steve" fic. I hope you enjoy it and please leave your thoughts in the comments!

~*~*~*~

Steve was gutted. He never even considered a world where Robin and Eddie didn’t immediately accept them. He imagined that Robin would pat his shoulder and launch into a gross display of critiquing his ‘type’, just as he’d done with hers. Eddie would say something flirty to make him blush, call him Big Boy or something equally lewd to get Steve to laugh before giving him a hug and whispering his acceptance in his ear. But that’s all they were; delusional imaginations. 

Of course they wouldn’t accept him, why would they? Maybe they were right. Perhaps Steve was just confused. Maybe he only liked Eddie at that moment because he looked like a girl with his hair up in a bun, although Steve had a feeling that Eddie would take offense to that too. But any time he tried to rationalize it, force the idea of being straight, he got a nauseous feeling in his chest. He finally felt comfortable with who he was and now he had to change it? It didn’t feel right. 

Understandably, Steve started pulling away from the Party after that disaster of a coming out. He felt a little bad for pulling away from the kids without explanation but how would they accept him when his best friends didn’t? It was better just to create some distance before they could trample on the shards of his heart even further.

For the next two weeks, he avoided all contact with the Party. He switched his scheduled shifts with Keith so he didn’t have to work with Robin. He left his phone off the hook so the kids couldn’t reach him. He even told Hopper that his parents were in town so he had an excuse to skip the family dinners at the Hopper-Byers’. It’s not like they’d want him around their family if they knew Steve’s sexuality anyway.

The only person Steve can’t shake is Nancy. She’d been a crutch for him the entire time; offering her shoulder up when the tears got too much, supplying him with ice creams a plenty from multiple grocery store runs, and even holding his hair back when he puked up all the alcohol he chugged in an effort to forget the betrayal. Steve didn’t know what he would’ve done without her. 

She too was avoiding the Party but whenever Steve asked her why, she would just give him a blasé, “if I see them, I’m going to shoot them. It’s better for me to be here.” And well, Steve wasn’t going to argue with her on that. It felt nice having a friend he could count on when everyone else had abandoned him. He just hoped he didn’t mess it up like he did everything else. 

~*~*~*~

Nancy was going to murder Eddie and Robin. They were off gallivanting around town together like nothing was wrong, like they hadn’t imploded Steve’s entire worldview in one fell swoop. Anytime she saw them, she felt her trigger finger twitch. She was livid, after everything she’d been through in her life, she’d never been so angry. But she was hurt too. Just like Steve, Nancy thought that Robin and Eddie would be the ones to understand them the best. They knew what it was like to be queer in a small hick town in the middle of nowhere. She thought that they would be compassionate and helpful. But clearly she was wrong. 

As soon as she got the call from Steve and heard his tears distorted over the phone line, all of her attraction to Robin shriveled up and died. She could never be attracted to anyone that made her goofy teddy bear of an ex-boyfriend, her friend that had always tried to be there for her, cry. It left a part of her feeling empty though too. She’d liked Robin since she saw her running weirdly from the orderlies at the asylum. To have that affection die so suddenly and over such a pivotal detail left Nancy feeling unbalanced.

However, as angry as she was, Steve was still hurt. He was closer to both of them than she would ever be, ever wanted to be now. She had her family, she had the newspaper club, and plans for college. What did Steve have? He depended on Eddie and Robin to be there for him and they weren’t. Even still though, his hurt superseded any anger. He was still hopeful that his friends would come around, desperate for their acceptance and approval. 

So, while Nancy was still quietly plotting their gruesome and painful murders, she was also looking into ways of forcing them to accept Steve. She was willing to do anything to get the real Steve back, the one that smiled all the time and bitched about the kids. The more she thought about it, the more determined she became. Operation Get Steve Happy Again was a go. 

Nancy took out all the stops. She made color-coded flashcards on sexualities and gender identity. She drove all the way to Indy to buy queer zines from an LGBT+ bookstore in the city. She was going to make them understand even if it was the last thing she did. Eddie and Robin weren’t going to know what hit them.

When all of her preparations were complete, Nancy tucked her gun into her purse and made her way to the trailer park once again. Eddie’s van was parked crookedly in its place in front of the window and Wayne’s worn down truck was tucked neatly beside it. It seemed Wayne would get a front row seat to the show too then. Nancy didn’t even knock before barging inside which took both Eddie and Wayne in surprise. 

“What the-” Eddie said, jumping up from his seat at the table and spilling his cereal milk. 

“I have my gun and I will use it so listen. Your whole shtick is not conforming to what society dictates you have to conform to. I’ve always admired how you stayed true to yourself despite what everyone in town thought of you. But this is the most conformist you’ve ever been. If you don’t fix this with Steve and see where he’s coming from, I will make your life a living hell. So fix this and do it quickly,” Nancy threatened. Then she turned to Wayne who looked as lost as she’d ever seen him. 

“I’m sorry to barge in, Mr. Munson. Make sure to give Eddie a talk about accepting others, alright? He has a lot of quirks that we’ve learned to accept, Steve should get the same treatment. Have a nice afternoon.”

She left before either man could utter another word and made her way to Family Video. Steve had today off so she was reasonably sure that Robin would be manning the store on her own. When she got there, she pulled the station wagon right in front of the door and stalked inside. 

“Welcome to Family Video, how can I help you? Oh, hey Nance. What’s up?” Robin asked her in greeting.

Nancy shook her head at her. “I don’t understand. Steve’s your best friend and you ridiculed him. I know he accepted you when you came out to him. I know that you would talk about all of your lesbian interests with him and he wouldn’t bat an eye. Then he makes one comment about finding a guy attractive and you shut him down? Just walk me through it.”

Robin looked chastened. Her eyes were wide, her fingers fluttered, and her feet shuffled. “I don’t know why I did that, honestly! I just, I thought Steve was making fun of me and Eddie and I got so angry. I don’t care who Steve likes, I just want him to be happy. I don’t understand liking both or being bisexual. At the moment, I just saw it as losing the thing that Steve and I had in common and I didn’t go about it in the best way. And I don’t even know how to apologize because I know I monumentally screwed up. If I were Steve, I wouldn’t forgive me but I don’t know what I would do if he didn’t,” she rambled.

The crack in Nancy’s chest healed a bit at her words. She’ll never get her attraction to Robin back after all the damage that’s been done. However, she could be her friend. She wasn’t really biphobic, and Eddie probably wasn’t either, they just needed some more explanation to understand what bisexuality was and how to accept it. 

“Steve will forgive you, he hasn’t been able to get over this the entire time. He’s still just waiting for you guys to get your heads out of your asses and go apologize to him. And he’s still your best friend, him liking guys too doesn’t change that,” Nancy told her. She pulled some zines out of her purse and handed them to her. “Here, read those. They’ll tell you exactly what bisexuality is and what not to say when someone comes out to you.”

Robin took the papers with a whispered thanks and Nancy started making her way out of the store. At the last second, she turned around and called out to Robin who was already looking at her. 

“And Robin? Go talk to him sooner rather than later. He really misses you guys.”

Then she made her way home to cry about her own heartbreak. 

~*~*~*~

Steve was second-guessing himself again and wallowing on the couch for yet another afternoon when his doorbell rang. Considering the lies that he’d told everyone else to keep them away, it had to be Nancy. The only other options were Eddie or Robin and he knew it wouldn’t be them. He hadn’t rescinded his coming out yet so they had no reason to be coming over. 

Yet when he opened the door, he came face to face with a guilty looking Eddie. Steve almost closed the door in his face but Eddie jammed his boot in the way with enough force that the door wiggled. “Steve, please let me apologize to you. Just give me a few minutes and if you want me to leave, I will.”

Steve debated it for a moment before sighing and gesturing him inside. “I haven’t changed my mind so I don’t really know what you came here to say.”

“I came to tell you I’m sorry. I never should’ve said that you and I’ve felt like a piece of shit since then. I know you’re not faking it, or being a manwhore, or making fun of us for being gay, and we shouldn’t have said that you were. I know you’ll never forgive me for saying any of that but just, you have to know that I do accept you and I’m proud that you were able to come out.” Eddie had tears rolling down his face at the end of his speech and his voice was hoarse.

Everything in Steve wanted him to give Eddie a hug, to pull him into his arms and wipe his tears away but he couldn’t. “Why did you say it then? If you didn’t mean it, why’d you say it? It really hurt and I thought I was losing my best friends because of who I am.”

“You’re not, Steve! I swear Stevie, you’re not losing us if you still want us. I didn’t know what bisexuality was and I didn’t know that someone could like both until after I talked to Nancy. And then after she explained it to me and told us how hurt you were, I didn’t think you would want us talking to you. I’m so sorry, Steve,” Eddie cried. 

Steve was a little torn. He wanted to forgive Eddie right away, forgive him at the first word of his apology, but deep down, he knew he couldn’t. He couldn’t just brush off these past few weeks of feeling hurt and isolated from his best friends that were supposed to be there for him no matter what. 

“Thanks for your apology. I can’t forgive you right now,” Eddie made a broken sounding whimper at that but Steve continued. “But I will eventually. I just need some time to think about what I want. You guys really hurt me and I don’t know how to get over that.”

“Take all the time you need, Stevie. I know I hurt you and I will do everything in my power to fix that. I support you and I accept you and it’s about time I proved it,” Eddie promised him. 

Steve nodded. He had no doubt that Eddie would make it up to him and things would eventually get back to normal. They’d been through an alternate dimension, a mind-killing psychic wizard guy, and a bunch of murder accusations. This wouldn’t be what broke them. He pulled Eddie into a hug right before he left and his heart seemed to calm a bit at the contact. Yeah, they’d be fine. It might take a while but they’d get there. 

Later that night, long after the sun had set, Steve heard another knock at his door. He was long over guessing who it could be since he never seemed to be right anyway. When he opened the door to reveal Robin awkwardly standing on his porch, he was once again surprised. What had happened in the past twelve hours to change both hers and Eddie’s minds? 

Steve didn’t even get to say anything before Robin started rambling. “I am so sorry, Steve! I never should’ve judged you so harshly and I know you wouldn’t make fun of me being gay because you never have before so that was really stupid on my part. I should’ve accepted you right off the bat and started making fun of you liking Frank-N-Furter and Eddie like you did for me about Tammy. I know I majorly screwed up but can you ever forgive me? I promise, I will make it up to you so much!”

Steve looked at her for a moment before his mouth widened into a small grin. “You know, I’ve really missed you. I had to have a whole crisis on my own and everything.”

“I’m so sorry! I swear to you, I will never not be supportive and accepting to you ever again. I need my Platonic with a capital P soulmate back and I need you to start working shifts with me again. If Keith flirts with me one more time when we’re on a slow shift together, I might actually hurl all over him,” she babbled.

Steve just laughed and pulled her into a hug. Yeah, things would end up alright between them. It might be a little awkward for a while and there would always be some apprehension on Steve’s part but everything would be fine. 

~*~*~*~

Everything did eventually turn out fine. Robin and Eddie groveled to Steve for weeks and long after he had already forgiven them. Once the air was cleared between them, things went back to normal. He had Robin back as his supportive best friend and he had Eddie at his side as his boyfriend. He had Nancy too as the best friend that he could count on when Robin and Eddie started misbehaving with one another. 

Steve always remembered that they didn’t support him right off the bat (although neither did the rest of the Party when he announced he was dating Eddie). Whenever he made a new decision or wanted to accept a new job or something, he always felt a flash of fear of whether they would ridicule him again. 

But other than some low self-esteem and a minor lack of faith in Eddie and Robin, they lived on together in happiness. Through every up and down, they were there for each other in the way they could only wish they had been when he came out to them.

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